The F Plus - 392: Fantasy Writers on Reddit

Episode Date: September 24, 2023

When looking for writing advice, who better to ask than the helpful Redditors at r/fantasywriting? That is a rhetorical question, don't bother answering it. This 👏 week 👏 The 👏 F 👏 Plus 👏 doesn't 👏 use 👏 commas 👏👏👏

As you enter the bar, you see the F Plus podcast, a thing anachronistic to our dumb fantasy novel, but they've got terrible things read with enthusiasm. They've also got boots, rain gear. If a demon and a human birth a cambion and an angel and a human birth a Nephilim, can a cambion and a Nephilim still have a child together? And would it still be called a nephalem? Or what name would it be called? Achilles Heelys. Aurora. You.

Look. Fattening. Victor Laszlo. I could use my light to push against hers to create an opening, but that's far from my style. Instead, I concentrate on manipulating her light to create a hole big enough for me to walk through. Shell game! Right now, she's 20. Elves live for two to three hundred years, men for around 80, so our MC is going to get her all in her prime years, have an eternally beautiful, from his perspective, wife who won't appear to age even as he grows old. He's hit the jackpot. And Lemon.

Okay, so this is a long one, but before I start, I have to say, to make this clear, this is not a Harry Potter fanfic! God. Hey, F-Plus. Oh, hi, Lemon. I'm sorry to surprise you there. I just assumed we were all, I mean, not to peel back the curtain, but we were all just chatting. Did you think that I left?

And I just got finished having a blanket slowly lowered over my head, so I thought everybody was gone. Oh, okay. This is some really good scripted banter, guys. Yeah, our investors are going to love this one. They really are. They really are. This class of boots and I have been taking are really working. Hiring that team of writers was not a misappropriation of funds at all. Yeah, it sucks they all went on strike last week.

That's right, listeners. We're taking all of your money. Wait, we don't have any money. Would you all say that you live a rich fantasy life? Yes. I live a middle-class fantasy life.

So your fantasy life is comfortable. Life is tolerable through fantasy because reality is suffering. Your fantasy has a guest room and a backyard. Is that what you're telling me? A guest room? Jesus Christ, Rockefeller. Okay, all right, I'm sorry.

I think they're just working on it, but like, self-conscious about, you know, we haven't got there yet. I'm sorry. I do have a fantasy about having guests though. Aww. Me too. Well you should write about it. Thanks to Cheapskate I got a document for us today

and that document is from reddits.com Yes. And we are going to be spending this entire episode on R slash fantasy writers. Yes. So we were looking here at some of the topics available. For example, what's a good way to erase all memory of a character?

Who would want to kill a wizard in an urban fantasy setting? And one that Boots found, which is very good, Chapter 7 or 4 of 5, If My Second Book Dragons of Fireborne Booked to Air. So, yeah, so we're going to find the next... Wow. Brandon Sanderson? There we go.

That was a file not found in my brain. Brando Sando. Let's have some Brando Sando's, boys. So cool. So yeah, we're gonna learn about the craft of fantasy writing. We're gonna probably read some excellent fantasy writing

would be my guess um and i think to that end let's just get started so um uh so boots you are ants plays i subscribe to your youtube channel yeah um so i got i got a question. Yeah, okay. How do I defeat a person with sound wave manipulation? His powers don't have a limit. Drop it on, Bill. How did you choose that voice, Boots? What? How do you land on that voice?

I picked it arbitrarily. Oh, good. So to keep things short, that's how I start. To keep things short, we have a BNHA like quirk. Banaha.

Banaha. Banaha. My Hero Academia. Oh. Boku no Hero Academia. Okay, I got you. Quirk activities for our literature class, and we each have our own unique quirks.

I have the quirk to morph into any alien in pop culture, but only at the foot soldier level and below. One of my classmates has the ability to manipulate sound waves, and I ask the teacher if he has a limit to how loud or how silent he can make the sound waves. And his answer was no, but depending on the quirk activity, I will not

let you guys destroy the whole earth. That would be minus points. Class sounds. Anyway, I know sooner or later does not have a backspace. Sooner or later, we would all fight against each other, and I am the type to prepare for anything. I've made a Google Doc for all of my classmates

to see their abilities and weaknesses, but I just can't find a proper counter against him and one other classmate. So now I've turned to Reddit, and I'm asking for help. Help. Okay, yeah, my name's Bearded Bear. Yeah, that's a tough one.

What if your character could create a vacuum in a closed space? Suck the air out of some kind of facility or room or cell? Create a vacuum down here on Earth? Room or cell? Create a vacuum down here on Earth? Now, I would need to find some alien with that ability and make sure he's at foot soldier level. I like my quirk because it has a creative way of using it, and I have research on a lot of aliens,

but the sound dude isn't the only one. We also got a dude that passively has chaos happening around him, meaning all plans against him will fail. And a girl that can grant three wishes like a genie, which is OP. Hey, I'm a bow before the cats. You can easily get a draw by threatening to turn her into a 40k orc. Those just have to exist on a planet for like a minute, and their spores spread so that more orcs grow from the earth.

OFCU don't control those orcs. They just kill everything, including each other. So don't do it. Just threaten you would. Also, DBZ could be useful. It's definitely pop culture, and it has mad power creep. I'm sure you can find some foot soldier alien that's unbeatable by non-DBZ standards.

Vegeta is technically... Just go scorched earth. Love it. DBZ. Vegeta is technically Freezer's foot soldier. And Alien, for example. I'm sure later seasons like G2 or Ven Matter haven't watched them myself though I found DBC after Cell completely dull

wow this is a good conversation I haven't done much research on the anime side of Aliens thanks for the suggestion you're welcome oh and someone suggests Q oh yeah I don't

go forever I mean I could You're welcome. Oh, and someone suggests Q. Oh, yeah. I don't... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Go forever. I mean, I could... Yeah. Yeah. Be a god. But it's like a low-ranking god, see?

Yeah, it's like a foot soldier god. Yeah, he's at that class. Victor, your name is OKGood5019. Yes, 5119, OKGood. OKGood. Does this sound like from a children's book, Skull, Skull? Basically, the main god, Invictus, has made a will for the other gods to wreak havoc every 10,000 years or so. And when I say havoc, I mean havoc.

Blood, executions, genocide, Trojan War type of shit. And I will write that in detail. So, yeah, no, that sounds like, yep, uh-huh. And in this time, the main characters have to deal with it, because Invictus is a pain in the ass, and the casualties are above the charts. Oh. Is the Will thing childish or not? They're entirely separate from the charts.

Look at those fucking charts down there. See these charts? These are irrelevant. I'm not even part of these. But the main characters are going to have to deal with it guys that's yeah that sounds like it makes things worse than it would have been normally i don't know main characters deal with things in children's books so that's kind of a convincing argument it's the will thing specifically oh that that they fear sounds childish. Will Smith is in this? So this god wrote it in his will

that the other god has to fuck everything up? Yeah, I think that's what it is. And I mean, there is nothing more childish than a plot that involves somebody leaving something in their will. Hey, F+. I want to write music

into my fantastical fights. Nice. Oh, look, I know. I know. I know that sounds ridiculous. You can't hear words, so I'm hoping to catch on to musical references. For instance, okay, here we go.

Let's say a character says to another, you ever hear about the Yakuza? Uh-huh. Okay, and then the other replies with, Yes, I have a certain theory of beauty for them. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right?

Uh-huh. Okay, so with Yakuza and the theory of beauty capitalized, people might look to those two terms together online and find a musical fight theme from the Yakuza game series. Oh! Oh! Huh? Huh?

Oh, oh, yeah! Because you're hoping to capture in the book that you are writing the idea that they are actually not reading a book. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just like go asterisk and then I go Google it, lol. Can't a book be a video game? Well, you know, I think it'll work if you include that footnote.

The book is mostly just footnote I think you should fix this by just putting links To YouTube videos Of the songs you want people to hear QR codes QR codes would be good Okay Upon further review I found two problems

Oh Uh oh Uh oh Uh oh two problems. Oh. Problems? Uh-oh. It sounded foolproof. Uh-oh. The reference is obscure. This is intentional to avoid copyright strikes.

What the fuck? Copyright strikes on your book. Literally all life is YouTube, right? It's all YouTube and video games that I watch

someone else play on YouTube. If I fully capitalize the word, it looks like someone's screaming. Yeah. That is what would get you in copyright trouble. It looks like a... Yeah, when you do that, it's so loud

that the... Hey, what's going on in there? Yeah, when you do that, it's so loud that the... Hey, what's going on in there? Yeah, they can hear it. Yeah. Yakuza is not a very popular game in the West or even worldwide. I'm open to any other ideas in writing music into my story. Have you thought about using the Pixies Where Is My Mind? Oh, that is subtle. into my story. Have you thought about using the Pixies Where Is My Mind?

Oh! That is subtle. That is very subtle. What about a dog shit cover of it? I've got an idea. What about a real terrible cover of it? Could I put that in there? Definitely.

Why don't you just select every copy of the book with a cassette tape that has a soundtrack on it and tell people where to hit play? Or just do the Stephen King thing and they're always listening to the radio and telling you what's on the radio. Yeah, actually, wait. That is actually what Sugarloaf Librarian recommends. Like, the top response is basically that. Okay, why? You're welcome Reddit Thanks Sugarloaf librarian

Which is kind of a good name Yeah Heelys how does it feel to know you fit right in In the Reddit fantasy writers He's Reddit on fast forward That's what you are Well I feel about the same as I did before Sure Yeah, he's read it on Fast Forward. That's what you are. Well, I feel about the same as I did before.

Sure, sure. Your, so Shell, your name is Ncon underscore 17. Oh. Don't super love that name. What kind of con? Ncon. Ncon. Get yourself an Ncon. Yeah, yeah.

What does the end stand for? It doesn't matter. We don't need to look too deep. There's nothing in that well. I'm sorry to say this post has been removed by the moderators of the podcast, the horror slash fantasy writers. What? End con has been removed for some reason. Anyway, what you got there, end con?

Hmm. Anyway, what you got there, Encon? Well, I have a planned five-book series set in a setting. I'm sorry, what's your title? Oh, sorry. Is it dangerous to wait until the world is at least 90% built to start writing? Well, no. You're missing the other ten.

More world building, please. Never mind, I forgot that when you write a book, you build it in Minecraft first and then you write the book. Okay. Yeah. What if one of your characters falls off the edge? Well, no. And there's no way to stop them from doing that. I was reading this book and it was really great, but then I had to, like, load in a section. I had to flip the CD over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Step one, world building. Step two, export to PDF. Ah, I have planned five books. Setting, setting, setting, setting, setting. As fantastical as Narnia, yet as gritty as Westeros. Wow. Great. You can tell it's really good.

I don't think you remember how fucked up Narnia was. I haven't started writing it yet, but... Look, it's not completely done, but I hope you can tell. It is like other books. There's dragons! Yeah! Yet the setting is not fully developed

I so it's got animals and incest yeah I bet NCON does have those things I have every major location down most major characters and a general plot idea

yeah yeah yeah you're pretty much done if you have a general plot idea mmhmm mm Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're pretty much done if you have a general plot idea. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yet every time I start writing, I feel as though I simply cannot due to my world being incomplete. Excellent, excellent. Well, I look forward to the next 40 years of your

unpublished novel. I get the whole gardeners versus architects thing, but I do not believe I am fully, I'm fully out architect as I plan on much of the story itself being natural and evolving as I write. Jesus Christ. Okay.

Uh-huh. However, I am certainly an architect writer when it comes to the world I am creating. I feel like I need every inch of land documented to feel ready enough to write the books. I love wall-root building. It's almost therapeutic, but I worry that my prioritizing of world building will hinder things in the long run. So my question is, is it a bad idea? What do you, Achilles, what do you think about that?

Is that a bad idea? The cold truth is the world is never done. I have been building mine since I was a toddler. I have been building mine since I was a toddler. I didn't read ahead when I chose this voice. It's perfect. It's part Duplo, part Lego. Some aspects need maturing, but I had my current concept idea as a toddler.

Turns out Kid Me was onto something. As a toddler. If I do say so myself. Slightly concerning how much murder Kid Me imagined, but I wasn't exactly in a loving environment. Oh my god, I want to fuck you! Oh no, wait, did your mom take your video games away? Everybody fucks me on Reddit. I need to suck this guy's dick so bad!

Murder Kid Me Imagined is my favorite prequel mystery series. I can still add more. I am as a writer. Sentence over. I am as a writer. That's an epitaph right there. I live as a writer. I have dabbled in this world

for years and published stories outside of it for fear of if fucking it up. You sure are a writer, bud. I'm not a writer. I'm just as a writer. Once I got my lifelong I was born depressed

mental health stuff taken care of. I could see that there's no real way to fuck up my world as long as I am consistent and edit my work properly. Yeah, my world's great. There's no way this could be wrong. Yeah.

End of the day, the story informs that the reader actually needs to know about your world. It is unlikely that they will care about those pig-riding warriors unless they are featured in the plot in a way that makes sense by the way I write about pig-riding warriors. Well, no, you don't. They're ancillary

but might be important someday. Right. Sure. Big angry boars are cool. Yeah. Agreed. I played near. A great callback to the real ones being murderous frat boys of the woods.

Damn, I want... I, you know what? Never mind, Firebird Rider. Thank you. I want to suck those boar's dicks. Sick, bro. But there's no long-term story benefit. They can wait. A good world is useful

for more than one story. Yeah. Awesome. What is your name again? I'm the Firebird Rider. Okay, because you're a rider. Okay, got it. Vroom. Vroom.

Looking at the next post here in the doc that Cheapskate gave us Victor You would like us to review your character Please you tag this with the Critique You have no upvotes

And you have looks for the future Yes Hi everyone I'm a beginner In writing stories and it's my first fantasy story. My character is a young monster slayer in a semi-medieval time, like Skyrim, and is named Arthur the Drainer. Is he a plumber? No, no, he's a bad dragon toy. No, no, he's a bad dragon toy.

He works alone, but he doesn't have a problem with teamwork if needed. But his main skill is slaying vampires, because vampires are the most dangerous monsters. They're also the fastest of all the monsters, and they can change their face, their blood temperature, and pressure. And they are immune to most of the spells. Oh, I love kids that love, think that blood pressure is a superpower. I can change my blood pressure too. Just give me a couple days. It's been slowly increasing tonight for some reason. Anyway, Arthur has a unique personality.

He never shows emotions. He can't find any friends. He is a philosopher and never becomes angry. Yeah. Anyway, Arthur's personality is ISTJ.

Yeah! Very, very depressed ISTJ. You said I. I figured you were depressed. At some point, the gods understand the power of his souls and send him to godhood. So it's their territory. The first line of the top comment on this is, I think it's a bit of a wish fulfillment self-insert. God, I just want to be a depressed

drainer so bad You are Oh hooray The next top comment is somebody mad at him for his character being OP I will never let you role play with me.

Do they have to face him in class? We like posts that are written in character, right? Of course. Great, excellent. Am I the asshole for being selfish and staying with the man who kidnapped me? Oh, fuck you. God damn it. That sucks.

I'm weaving a web. Come along with me. Ooh, okay. No. Yeah. I am a 33 year old male, got kind of kidnapped a few years ago of my now ex, then girlfriend, 32

female, dad dad 50 male. Okay, I'm with you so far. Yep, yep. Yep. I have no questions. Keep going. I created this flowchart. It is complicated, but he's kind of a criminal.

Are you Johnny Cage? Krusty the criminal. Criminal. Are you Johnny Cage? Krusty the criminal. Criminal. Criminal with a K. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, well, he tortured me for a few months. No hard feelings for that, by the way.

Really? None at all? None at all. He's kind of a criminal. And now I am working with him with what he is doing. And now, to that part everyone hates me for, I am also sleeping with him. So there are hard feelings.

Mmm, I liked that one. I liked that one a lot, actually. Where's Jimmy Franks with the slide whistle? That was. I am sleeping with my ex-dad. Sounds bad, I know. Well, my family is not very legal either. My ex-family is not legal at all.

Is this ENCON? You're 33, so by your family you mean your kids, right? I don't know. They have been at war for hundreds of years. But now, did we want peace? Everyone thinks I am dead. They, my family and my ex-family, came into my house I am living in, and surprise, I am alive. After the meeting about peace, I was the one to guide them to their rooms,

and that is when my mom asked me why I left, and I said it was a choice between being tortured and staying. She thought I was selfish, and I almost killed her if it was not for my ex-girlfriend who was there. It would be embarrassing to kill my mom in front of her. Can't have witnesses. That's not what you think. So am I the asshole for being selfish and staying with the man who kidnapped me?

I'm Dalton Oreo. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Can't you just write a normal post, not this? Nope. I'm a writer. What are you doing on Reddit, Dalton?

Oh, you're not on Reddit. This account has been suspended. Dalton Mario is still here. Oh, it has been suspended. Okay. Good for you, Dalton Mario. You got out. This is a blessing.

Alright. Boots. I'm going to give you a choice here. Your choice is between one post titled, I discovered a really dark factor in a human elf relationship.

A really dark factor. It's Human-Elf Relationship. A Really Dark Factor. It's by Dime Store Publishing. Okay. And the other one is by Dimar the Barbarian, and it's Can This Sword Exist? I'm Dimar the Barbarian I have started charge

I am going into a fury I have started writing for my own series and I have an oddly specific question I like to deep I like to deep into characters Hell yeah, balls deep into characters Hell yeah I've started going into characters. Hell yeah. Balls deep into characters. Hell yeah. I've started going into the MC's primary weapon.

His custom bastard sword, which is meant to basically piss on tradition for the sake of functionality. I have limited experience in the making of swords. And reading it back, it just sounds like an anime sword and how bizarre it is. So my question is hypothetically could this thing actually work? And that's your hypothetically that's your question?

Hypothetically this is my question. In reality what's your question? I don't know where, hypothetically I don't know where commas go I'm so excited for this here is an excerpt going into the weapon in depth this is an excerpt?

going from the bottom up to the pommel sorry going from the bottom up the pommel would have a sharp pyramid spike which could be used to slam into and dent armor and bludgeon enemies and blade locks. Why this tense?

The handle would be... Why is it tensed like this? Because in the story, the main character talks wistfully, lovingly, about this sword. Is it a hypothetical sword in the story? In the story, the hero is asking if this could

actually... He's asking a sword maker. Got a lot of fictional things for sale, stranger! Wait, hold on. The handle would be very angular, featuring a 90 degree curve at the pommel. Oh. Very angled, yeah. Oh. Bastards. Very angled, yeah.

Beginning to handle a hook-like shape, this curve would allow placeholder to do things a straight handle simply couldn't. The pistol grip would fit better in the palm, allowing for much greater leverage. It's a gun sword! It's a gun bastard blade!

Enhancing power blows and thrusts alike, depending on which part of the handle he held. Placeholder. And it hurts your wrist a lot. Change the angle of attacks to subvert his enemy and attack at unfamiliar vectors. The hilt would be a retractable hybrid swept basket hilt, which would wrap around the wielder's hand without limiting maneuverability, allowing one to keep their fingers even during intense duels.

So the handle's at 90 degrees, and then the hilt covers the hand entirely? Yes. Okay. The actual sword itself would be a double-edged blade with a slight curve. Bastard sword! Sorry, slight curve ending in an infinitesimally small

point. Yeah! Excellent. The front edge. Boots, do you have a criticism of how he described his sword? Nope. The front edge of this would be facing the enemy, would have five edges. And it's always facing the enemy.

The front edge that has five edges is always facing the enemy. What are you talking about? It's an infinitesimally thin point that is always facing, it is an edge facing the enemy. Yeah, it's an infinitesimal fractal.

Uh-huh. A very thin concave edge in the middle that would jut out in the middle ahead of all the other edges. Wait, a concave? Yeah, a concave that juts out. Okay. The idea being that all the force

would still be concentrated into a very sharp and thin edge, but there would be two sequential edges behind it on each side, which would widen. I think this is an umbrella. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. What have we done? It sounds a lot like an umbrella. Yeah, I think it's just an umbrella.

I think it's just an umbrella. The front edge that would be facing the enemy. Sorry, I did that already. Yep, we did that part. The idea being that all the force would still be concentrated into a very... I just did that already too. How are you getting lost? And once a cut is achieved, if additional pressure is applied, additional edges would be pushed in.

Yeah! Deploy additional edges! Chunk, chunk, chunk! In quotes, edge facing the wielder would consist of very fine serrations. Not that useful in combat, outside of maybe ruining the blade of your opponent. There's a button on the hill that expands

for even more edges. But wait, if you order in the next 20 minutes... But it's very useful in survival situations. You can saw a tree. The weight of the blade would be balanced as well as possible while still providing maximum

power. I can't see how. I can't see how. The tip and the weak edge near the tip would be weighted, increasing the power of both thrusts and power blows. Well, is it balanced or weighted at the tip? Which is it, bud? Yes. To compensate for this...

The hilt and the strong edge would be made incredibly light, allowing for the blade to mostly balance out. Although it wouldn't be perfectly balanced, it would still have high maneuverability and the little bit lost would be transferred into sheer power. Oh, wow.

A weapon made for war with every little bit of it made to cause as much damage as possible and fight your enemy on multiple fronts. A true threat. Okay, please all of our listeners listeners draw what you think this sort looks like um uh victor you had an idea didn't you oh did i yeah you had a lot of ideas i do have i do have lots of ideas and they're all all good. Yeah, but does AwkwardMix2513 have an idea?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got an idea, buddy. Okay, great. So, idea. I'm thinking kind of post-apocalyptic superhero kind of thing. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you.

Hi, I'm a Disney executive. Would you like $5 million? Well, not right now, but later. Two companies own all the media that I consume. Can I make that? Look, so, you know, supers are born naturally, but with the right genes, no small amount of luck. Someone can become a super when they go out into the wasteland.

But most people who try this not only die, but are also made fun of for obvious reasons. Going outside, asshole! Stupid going outside jerk! The line between hero and villain gets more blurry each day as more and more heroes have to do unspeakable things to survive, showing that despite their power, they are not gods. Unspeakable things? You know, heroes, that's what they do. They do unspeakable things. My name's Circle of...

Unspeakably heroic things. Yeah, yeah. My name's Circle of Origin. Okay, cool premise. Now, what's the story? What question will the story answer? So, yeah, that's been in my head for like two hours now. I honestly didn't think it'd get this far, so I didn't think that far ahead.

You didn't think it'd get to the end of a short Reddit post? Maybe some kind of corrupt head of government? Mutants? I don't know. You can't have a post-apocalypse without some kind of monster. Turns out it's man. Maybe just a regular guy who's lucky enough to get powers in the wasteland and tries to learn how to use them while trying to survive at the same time.

Fuck, dude. That's great. Super great. Somehow done less work than the other people here. It's just an idea, okay? It's definitely never been made into a movie or anything, so.

F+, this is the... My name is JWCCCartoonist. And this is the Depraved Immoral Supernormal Artist, or DISA. Both a DISA. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. By actual human name. Hi, hi, human name. Please note, this series is a work of fiction.

Oh. Okay, I'm going to skip the synopsis because we want to be surprised, right? I do. Long ago, the Jade Emperor, Japanese characters, and his wife, the Queen Mother of the West, Japanese characters, planted a peach tree of immortality in paradise for the gods and goddesses,

one that would grant permanent immortality to whoever ate its sweet fruits. One day, the Queen Mother of the West was playing Mahjong with some of the eight immortals in the traditional Taoist lore. Just as she was about to win, she got so excited that she raised her

hands high above her head in victory and knocked off a single peach off a branch of the peach tree of immortality that was directly behind her. Oh. So it's also Christianity. Yeah. Pretty good, right?

Fucking women. What if what if clumsiness? What if Eve could do sick kung fu? Okay, now I'm listening. Those lucky enough to eat the peaches from this new peach tree of immortality

Would first be instantly cured Of any disease or ailment And then their lifespans would be extended By a few average human lifetimes The exact number of years Each person's lifespan was extended Would vary since everyone's bodies Reacted differently to the magic

And based on their angel number. Scene change! On the day the wind suddenly vanished, all of his friends were indulging in their own special addictions and obsessions. His friend, famous actor Chen Juan John, Japanese characters

actually, that's probably Chinese characters, was having a threesome with her two twin sisters while surrounded by lesbian porn. Where'd this come from? Fully surrounded. Oh, it's an HBO television show. Okay, I get it.

Fully surrounded. Oh, it's an HBO television show. Okay, I get it. In his apartment in Sathorn, because regular old vanilla sex didn't arouse him enough anymore. Man, he's gotta do crazy stuff. He's gotta have sex with porn around him. What if there was a lesbian?

His friend, entrepreneur, and pediatrician, Dr. Valeria D. Trostomaro, no Chinese characters that time, was nursing injured children's and sick old people back to health and taking care of stray cats and dogs all at the same time. Oh. Oh, no. and dogs. All at the same time. Oh.

Oh no. In the Valeria de Tramastra home in the Bang Na district of Greater Bangkok. This is all very important. Can you not have the stray cat in my room? No? No, this is part of the healing process.

Oh, alright. I am an entrepreneur, a pediatrician, and a cat healer. Okay. Okay. His friend, retail worker, Gabrielle Develois Bourgione,

was still playing Pokemon Planet Online after having played it. What? Was still playing Pokemon Planet Online after having played... What? What? Still playing Pokemon Planet Online after having played non-stop the previous 48 hours

in the condo of the Bang-O area on the other side of the Chao Prya River. I think we found the self-insert character. He was the coolest. And even though he was really hungry and thirsty and had to pee he couldn't stop playing only matters of the heart could get him to leave his computer and the imagery is so compelling right there and his friend bakery owner Mabel Baker. Alright. Alright. She's from the 15th century, so it's her last time in this profession.

You guys tired? I'm tired. He's got a lot of friends, and that's great for him actually, I think. She was stuffing her face with both a piece of apple pie and a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone while contemplating how to deal with her business rival at the old Chinese graveyard in Salome.

These activities were nothing special. It was just... The old Chinese graveyard is a donut shop. There's a much better baker at the graveyard. It's just the name of the donut shop. They're just dying to get in. These activities were nothing special. It was just an ordinary

day to them. But on this extraordinary day, their friends' disappearance set in motion a chain of events so extraordinary that it would change their world forever. End of post. I've set up nothing. Nothing has been set in motion. No, this is...

Hooray! Fiction achieved! So six friends all have no plot happening to them. Yeah. Characters in vignettes! Victor needs to read Reddit's best feedback. Yeah.

No. My name is sorry I said it. Hell yeah. I have a suspicion that you're not sorry. I'm just thinking this, this, the famous actor that's not aroused by vanilla sex.

And he knows a pediatrician that takes care of old people and stray cats, and a bakery owner with a rival in the old Chinese graveyard. There seems like some real creative fucking you could get up to. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but they won't come up with that until they make it into

I couldn't think of any of that, though. Yeah, but they won't come up with any of that until they make it into Sense8. Or some bullshit about a peach tree, and I got sleepy. I was looking to see what else Sorry I Said It has said, and it's mostly

very strong opinions of One Piece. Yeah, alright. Sorry about all of that. Alright, we need to get to some more examples of reddit fiction so once again that was

depraved immortal super normal artists for Adisa that was a story after all and then shell game I think if you'll please take short story hyphen the Queen and Cleo rose emoji, period. Hell yeah. Socialist Queen.

Okay. Hi, I'm the famous grouse too um i'm posting a part a parts of a story i've written hoping that people enjoy my work as i enjoy writing so your account was also deleted the vast majority of the stories we've we've we've looked at like the people posting this have their accounts have been deleted and i will point out this document is less than a year old. Like it's not... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reddit!

Well, the famous grouse one found it and... Yeah. I've had lots of negative feedback on my other posts. Can I add I don't use commas through choice as it's part of my writing style and I feel that my long sentences help me convey a message. Say that, Queen! Say

that! Yes. I don't use commas! Hopefully you enjoy the read and provide positive feedback. Story! That's a writing choice! I love it! You telling me to use commas is violence.

Love it. Love it. writing choice i love it you telling me to use comma commas is violent love it love it all right story the queen and cleo rose emoji chapter one an exotic princess from a far away distant land goes to live with her aunt, a queen. Her aunt, a queen that lived in a sunshine castle as her heart had been iced by not meeting a match to equate her emotional worth, and living in a sunshine castle was the only thing that brought her any joy, and gave her that booze

she required to keep on living and doing good works for the people, although they did not appreciate her. You don't need calm as queen. The queen's name is Ella and now as Queen Ella awaited the arrival

of her niece whom she had heard little about just that she had been exiled from her home kingdom nay purr. Due to unruly behavior, she sat and thought only of negative things about this little princess. Queen Ella arranges a grand affair

for the arrival of her niece, but when Princess Cleo arrives at the kingdom gate, nobody knows who she is and she spends a long time talking to the guards trying to confirm her identity. The guards explain that Queen Ella decided to throw an impromptu grand affair to cheer herself up, and it is not unusual for the queen and the

people of her kingdom known as Nottingham. Cleo being a princess of a high caliber in her opinion, but not of the opinion of others from her kingdom, found the grand affair to be a spectacular event which she really enjoyed viewing. The queen thought that if Cleo was ignored, would frighten her off and she would not have to take her into the home as a guest cleo's polite persistence broke down the resistance of the guards

and they came to an enragement whereby cleo was allowed to enter the kingdom as she did not have she did have a letter confirming her arrival and the guards argument was that she could not prove her identity so if she made it to queen ella and in sun saint castle that no guard that the guards would prove her identity as Queen Ella is a formidable woman, and no one dares mess with her for fear of their life. So just to recap, Cleo has been

Cleo has been allowed out loud Cleo has been to enter Kingdom Nottingham I've used dashes here but I won't use commas with her letter

so she has to make her way by herself to Queen Ella in Sunshine Castle and Queen Ella didn't really want anything to do with Cleo and thought that the grand affair would upset her and the guards think if she makes it to Queen Ella in one piece she's screwed anyway and Cleo is enjoying the entertainment and the sunshine

and wonders what her aunt looks like as she politely passes through the crowds and the castle in the distance. And story of the Queen and Cleo, Rosamund, chapter two. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. We need to skip. We need to skip all the way down to... We need to skip all the way down to there was mugger, fruitcake and John. Parsley, sage, rosemary and wine.

Yeah. And wine. Mugger, fruitcake and John. Keep up. I mean, you're going to miss a whole bunch about whether or not the Queen thinks I missed a whole bunch in that first. Yeah, okay, but if you're that interested,

okay, there was Mugger, Fruitcake, and Sorry, the thing you need to know is that she had just won her third game of Cup Ball. Yeah. You missed everything about cup ball. Right. Okay. There was Mugger, Fruitcake, and John.

Mugger introduced the three of them to Cleo and explained they were for the queen and that she had asked them to ensure her safe passage to the castle as she has heard the word of her arrival from the guards at the gates. And then, Boots, you are Cleo. Yeah, yeah. Fruitcake, that's an interesting name. Reply, Cleo. And Victor, you are Fruitcake. Yes. Said Fruitcake.

It's because the only time I've been in prison is for stealing a fruitcake, and that's what lead me to me name. Fruitcake added. I see. Reply Cleo. Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! And is it always so lively in the kingdom? Asks Cleo. What can I say, princess?

The queen loves to keep the people happy, and we love our queen for being this way. I've heard words about gloom and misery of other kingdoms and count myself lucky to be a subject of the kingdom of Nottingham. Response, Fruitcake? Wow, that is really

lovely of you to say. My kingdom is like Ephraim, but also I feel a deep sense of joy being here away from home. I feel... There's two commas. I feel betrayed. Holy shit, you're right. Oh, this writing got worse all of a sudden. I was trying to delete them, but I don't have permission.

Anyway, says Cleo. Thanks, princess. The three respond almost in unison. Oh, right. Good job, guys. John was there. Oh, yeah, Mugger was also there. Mugison. Oh, right. Good job, guys. John was there. Oh, yeah, Mugger was also there. Mugger was there, too.

So leisurely they walk to the castle. The four did chit-chatting the whole way there. And half a day later, they finally make it to the castle gates, as the three informants had a lot of tips and advice for the little princess to keep her safe so far away from home. The end. That was a short story. If only chit-chatting were a verb and you wouldn't have to write did in front of it. They did the chit-chatting.

I also like that in that last line that they effectively skip over the only action that could occur in this story. People talked. Anything that could have happened. They just got around. Because you know. They did. Anyway. I think my favorite thing that you wrote.

Was I feel that my long sentences. Help me convey a message. Yeah. I mean. Every single response is like. Hey no that sucks. Don't do that. that my long sentences help me convey a message. Yeah. I mean... I'll just... Every single response is like, hey, no, that sucks. Don't do that.

You're all bootlickers. And you don't like it for some reason. You're all bootlickers. You are all bootlickers and I am canceling you. Coming down to the very last piece here. This one is called War Empress.

And then Achilles Heeles, if you'll take this, please. War Empress is a story that is its own oh, fucking 27 page Google Doc. That's longer than the document we're reading from.

Well, let me get it. Take a deep breath, buddy. I'll open that up. Oh, I've opened it up. Don't use commas. Get comfortable. And if you subscribe to us on our Patreon. No, it's also a telescript.

Yeah. Anyway. on. No, it's also, it's a telescript. Yeah. Anyway, I guess if you could bait the hook with this sort of, I guess this would be like the trailer for it, I think? Yeah. What if I told you that you were going to be born in a world that would either

corrupt you, torture you, or kill you? Shunk! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun! Uh, would you live your life anyways, knowing it will be full of tragedies, too afraid to die? Or would you kill yourself just so you could die a good person?

We gotta move, move, move! Ark Anarchy. Chapter 1. Deception. Section 1. Question marks? Year 1700. Aurora. Oh, beautiful. Colorado? One week,

just one more week. One week, just one more week. One more week, just one more week. I sang, Just one more week. One more week. Just one more week. I sang and I sang and kept on singing. And then I killed myself. I threw my hands in the air. So I can die a good person. I threw my hands in the air, smiling from ear to ear.

Yay! Yay! Calm down already. You're about to give birth. Alicia said as she sat on a wooden chair beside my bed, arms and legs crossed. I had to remind her of that.

I can't help it. I'm just so excited. Oh wait, she sighed. You're right. Probably annoyed. That's confusing as hell. Badly written is the thing. Oh, she's saying that to herself? I'm excited?

I don't know. Whatever. She gets chided, at least. The main character says, I'm so excited, and then Elysia sighs. Got it. Victor, do you want to be main character from now on? If it comes up?

Do I want to be? Yeah, you're going to be the MC. I don't know how you'll know if you'll be the main character, but maybe you'll know. Alessia was the single most loving older sister a woman could ask for, but sometimes she was a little too cautious for anyone's good, especially when I told

her that I was pregnant. I think this character is pregnant. Yeah. Guards, guards, and more guards. I wonder if they're getting paid enough. Alicia. D, I think is this me? I think it's you. Yeah, we've changed the way we're doing this now.

Now, now, now, now dialogue. Now it's a script. Okay, here we go. Dee, will you tell her to calm down? Dee? Dee? Dee grumbled as he laid his head on my stomach, his arms wrapped around my waist.

Tell her to calm down. She's pregnant. Calm down. You're pregnant. Oh, that's good to be Dee. Thanks, Dee. You down. You're pregnant. Oh, I guess it's me, D. Thanks, D. You got my back, buddy. And Victor, I think you're these unattributed quotes.

Got it. Alicia sighed with her hand pressed to her face. Victor was hitting a bong just then. Yep. At least tell me you've picked out a name already. I do, actually. Tom? Abyss.

No. What? Why? Because I don't want a boy. But I do. I clap my hands together before closing my eyes, my mind going back to that same dream I dreamed a thousand times. I can see it now. He'll grow up to be a mama's boy.

Silence. I hate awkward moments. Please tell me there's more. There's more? Damn it. Women. Oh, shit! Here they come! Hit the deck!

We got women, guys! We got women! Okay, we played for this! My sister sighed once more, and I opened my eyes to see that. Although she had one hand placed against the side of her temple, the poor thing, she was still as elegant as always.

Describe her. Okay, let's see. So your sister is, she's five foot seven. She's got kind of like long, like not super straight, straight but kind of straight hair Okay

I can't believe I can't believe you left in the prompt Of describe her for us She's boobing boobily Or resting boobily That is interactive fiction right there Yeah Oh man that rules Okay That is interactive fiction right there.

Oh, man, that rules. Okay. I'm going to say a natural thing that humans say. And what of you? She turned her gaze over to Dee. Do you have a name picked out already? Cinderella. Denied.

He lifted his head off my stomach. His brown black eyes stared dumbfoundedly into my golden rings. Yeah, he's a dog. What have you bought out of your golden rings? Seriously? I don't like the name.

Why? I just don't like the name why i just don't then how about this i turn to see alicia's eyes on me pick a girl's name and in turn he'll pick a boy's name whatever it turns out to be, that will be its name. Why? Fuck. Alright. Yep. Yep. Yep. D and I shared a look, then shrugged. How long have you been pregnant for? This is so interesting. Such a horrible world that you must kill yourself to be a good person.

I'm starting to want to. What should our baby's name be? Good. Now that that's over and done with, she got up to her feet. I think I'll... Actually, Alicia. Her eyes met mine.

Yes? Well, I... She's not gonna like this. I want to see the garden. Oh. Oh, boy. Listen, I haven't had visitors lately. The garden's a little overgrown, if you know what I'm saying.

If you can give me a little bit to trim the garden. All right. Her lips pulled to a frown. But Dee beat her to it. Are you crazy? I have to agree. I'll be fine. You only have a week left.

Going out now would be suicidal. Oh, that's why you have to kill yourself so you can die a good person. By going out to the garden. I'll bring a few guards. The answers, no. The answers, no! I'll bring Elysium with me.

The answers, no! No! No, you won't. I've been trapped in this castle ever since my pregnancy. You won't even let me walk the streets of... Question mark? Oops, I forgot to write that name, too.

Describe it. I don't even know where we are anymore. It's Aurora. It's Aurora. It's right in fucking Aurora. That's how long I've been trapped in this castle. No, I think you'll find that Aurora is the MC's name. Oh, you're right.

Aurora is the MC's name. Sorry. Did you forget whose child you're carrying? The room fell silent, I wish, and her eyes widened. I apologize. That wasn't sensitive. I turned to Dee to see him shaking his head, surprisingly not angry. Why? It's not like you were wrong. He sat upright on the bed, shoulder next to mine.

No point pretending. Girl or boy, if they're anything like me, their life is over. Well, this is depressing, the text says. This is a story. That's the narration. Fuck. This book I'm writing sucks shit. I cleared my throat Why did the rooster Cross the road

Before doing I did best Act unnecessarily silly Oh never mind I love you It's fine Aurora You don't have to To be a chicken noodle soup No that's not you that That's Victor, I think. Yeah, that's Victor.

Yeah, you're a lesson. I'm a lawyer now. Yeah, your lines suddenly have names. Oh, you have a name. Oh, it gave you a name. All right. It decided to stop not marking them, I guess. Yeah. You don't look like a big boats either.

You have an identity. So anyway, as I was saying, to be a chicken noodle soup. Pfft. What? That doesn't even make sense. I gave him a wink, then glanced over to Alessia

to see that, although she wasn't laughing, she was, however, struggling not to smile. I laid my head back, eyes closed, satisfied with the atmosphere. Yep, life is good. Oh, God. Everything began to shake as if an earthquake had hit all of parentheses country, period, and parentheses. I love this story. Some people are architects, some people are... period in parentheses.

I love this story. Some people are architects, some people are builders. You can't be bothered to build a fucking war empress. It's really fucking easy. Oh, man. But that was impossible. After what felt like several long minutes of non-stop shaking, everything went still.

It took me ten seconds to blink. Ten seconds in which I was left entirely unresponsive. Ten seconds, but it felt so much longer. Aurora! But there's only earthquakes in this country. Research earthquakes in this country. We all showed it, Aurora. Aurora!

Aurora! Aurora! I heard them call my name But I couldn't answer But I could feel something move inside me crying Did all that shaking Startled it I closed my eyes And placed both hands over my stomach

Unable to hear D or Alessa Anymore It's okay Mammy's here Everything's gonna be Okay After a few seconds The baby calmed down It's okay Mammy's here Everything's gonna be okay Soothing After a few seconds the baby calmed down And the world was fine once more

I'm sorry The door opened in general Question marks I've never seen this man before in my life Of the four royal guards Came shouting in alarm I've never seen this man before in my head. Of the four royal guards came shouting in alarm. We're under attack. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. War Empress. Chapter one. Oh, my God. Also, they only have four royal guards, huh? Yep. A world that would either

corrupt you, torture you, or kill you. What did we learn from this subreddit, F Plus? The fiction is alive and strong in the hearts of the youth. It's going well. And the old people as well, probably. It's going real well.

I think that a lot of people are definitely spending reasonable amounts of effort. Everyone's thinking about the process and not the product. Yeah, no, this is all... I learned that this is all so fucking modular to them. They just sort of act like each box that they fill is just going to be clunked in next to the other ones, and then they just have a story. I also think it's clear that

there's not a lot of reading happening in this audience, but there's a lot of anime watching happening yeah but like that would be hard like i have to like draw they definitely seem to like there's definitely a few of them that seem to think that like you just dream up a universe and then this like the story just writes itself yeah yeah and that that you just you just keep making orcs and centaurs and whatever. And the story just happens. Like,

I mean, as long as your world is vibrant enough, right? Like there's a, there's a peach tree, there's a dragon. I'm pregnant. There's lesbians.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean, and then your characters just kind of go out of control and you let them do the rest. Like, have you ever had a, like a, like a piece of fiction that you were watching and then like, you were like, this is pretty good, but this guy's sword is so normie.

Like, I can't get into this fiction because this guy's, this guy's sword is just too boring for me. A lot more swords should be the lament configuration, I think. Our website is always thefpl.us. Our forum is Ball Pit. You can go to either of those. You can also listen to extra credits at thefmin.us. M-I-N. You are up to episode what?

You're up to episode... 176 just came out today. God damn. In two parts, no less. Today being like a week ago Or three months ago who knows Yeah yeah If I'm putting money on it

I'm not putting it on a week ago Nope I know what our release cadence has been like Yeah and if you Draw things or want to Work with us on merch, email me because we want to make more merch. The end.

Bye. Please draw the sword. Yeah, draw the sword. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Draw the sword, please. Draw the sword. Everything counts in large amounts The grabbing hands, grab all they can Everything counts in large amounts Everything, everything Everything, everything Thank you.