The F Plus - 393: The Whole Thing Comes Right Off

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

While potentially obscure, Natural Body Magic is an oblique and unhelpful term which describes a specific fetish for the removal and displacement of various body parts which then go on to live separate and individual lives with their own consciousness. The people in this fetish community will insist that the whole "cutting a person up" obsession isn't indicative of anything, so... let's consider this episode a counterargument. This week, The F Plus reads all of Victor's favorite sentences.

All right, setting my non-existent watch to time. How long? We're going to talk about some old music for like 30 minutes. And now. Give me that donkey butt and them big old legs. Please! Please! Please. Debate.

Yeah, they really want... Welcome to the F-Blast Podcast! An exceedingly gross and absolutely piecemeal place for terrible things read with enthusiasm. And in the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. Palo pulled himself free of his bowels and looked over to Trin's body. The woman had gathered her breasts in one hand and hugged them to her chest. In the crook of her other arm, she held her head. In one of her hands, she clutched her detached womanhood. Jack, chick.

Could you maybe cut the ass off of your body there and attach it to the bottom of my head? And then maybe fuck me, please? Victor Laszlo. He stares at the moving legs for some time, then maybe fuck me please. Victor Laszlo. He stares at the moving legs for some time then tries to touch them but he gets rejected and ultimately kicked out. Portex. Shell game will get my Broncos modern life joke.

I don't care if the rest of you don't get it. John Toast. Doge the series. A little dog with a very bizarre imagination. This sheep Edo likes to play with other dogs in a Japanese village that he eventually decides he must protect from a criminal. Shut up! And lemon. Leslie waved weakly at him. We're just looking around, trying to find it.

Okay, shoot. What did you lose? Well, she sort of, um, misplaced her pussy. misplaced her pussy. I was voted misplaced her pussy. Yeah, so I'm real excited that Velma got picked up. Now I'm cursed.

Pow! Pow! I didn't know you were here. Yeah, they really want you. They really want you. They really do. Yeah, they really want you. Hey, F+. Hello, I'm in. Hi. Hey, everybody.

Hey, are you all feeling connected? To you, yeah. You're all my buddies and pals. That's so nice. That's's so nice you know we we have this we have this special connection i feel like you know how uh you know like like folks that like you know vfws and stuff like that like you know they've they've seen shit together right creates a certain bond sure you mean trauma like trauma? Like a sword you're looking for? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, not to belittle anyone's experiences, I've never seen combat, but I'm pretty sure 12 years of reading fetishes is pretty much the same general thing. It's more or less the same thing, I feel.

I mean, I guess we are all kind of like Tom Cruise in Born on the Fourth of July, but for the internet. We're kind of all screaming penis into the microphone here. Big fucking erect penis, mom. So, yeah, I wanted to introduce you to something of a fetish. Oh, a fetish, you say? We've never done fetishes before.

It's literally a podcast. Yeah, so this was something I genuinely didn't know about like three or four days ago. Until it was introduced to me by Napoleon Blown Apart. And I could explain a little bit about the fetish. I could explain a little bit about what this

fetish is. And I've seen some of the gifs, the animated gifs related to this fetish that have given I've seen some of the GIFs, the animated GIFs related to this fetish that have given me a pretty good indication. But for the listener, I think the best way to kind of, like, explain the fetish that we're going to go into here is we're going to be going to the Psychology and Mental Health Forum. Yeah, so we're going to the Psychology and Mental Health Forum.

That is a good fetish. Into the Fetish Forum, which is now closed, possibly because of Corgano. So, Portax, you're posting here in the Fetish Forum on the Psychology and Mental Health Forum. Oh, I sure am. And what do you want to talk about here? Okay, I want to talk to you all about something very important, very near and dear to my heart, wherever it may be. It's NBM, or Magical Body Separation. I posted this on July 25th, 2013 at 10.01am.

Just had that post ready to go by 10. Good morning! You know, get up, have a cup of coffee and start posting on the internet about your fetishes. Hello, I found this forum through a Google search for legs fetish. So that's the kind

of person I am. And became curious to find out what in the psychological community might think about my particular paraphilia since it's rather

obscure and there have never really been any studies on it that I'm aware of. Let me introduce you to my associate legs fetish.

It has become known to those of us who have it as NBM or natural body magic, a term coined by the late wife of one of the online community's members. Mysterious circumstances. Yeah, uh-huh. She definitely wasn't dismembered.

This fetish developed very early in me, about the age of four or five years it's purely fantasy based and physically impossible to fulfill in real life oh good oh good other than in the form of role playing a video and photo manipulation artwork stories etc well i have described it to several people in my life, including my current girlfriend, none of whom have reacted negatively. You don't say. How are you at reading facial cues?

Does the face have to be on the body? Not necessarily. But it always requires a bit of detailed explanation as it can easily be misconstrued as another thing entirely so please forgive me if my description here is a bit long-winded that's okay that's okay you're just describing your uh you know uh sexuality is a spectrum you're just describing your own particular sexuality. And so great. Let's all embrace it happily. All of us? Yeah, all of us.

Let's all embrace this. All of you embrace it. You're the boss, I guess. We are already on a psychology forum. We get paid whether or not we do this. Damn right. And it's the same rate regardless.

I certainly don't know any psychologist personally who can tell me any better. In short, it is a fantasy that a person's, a woman's in my case, body can be divided or separated into various pieces.

Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. It gets. All of which... Oh my. No, don't worry. It gets better. It gets better. All of which continue living and functioning normally as if it were completely normal and natural.

Oh. Wow. I feel like I have a lot of songs on this topic. Like a lot of songs on this topic like a lot of songs i'm a big fan of thing from adam's family uh there there are different preferences regarding the method of separation whether the separated surfaces are covered with skin or bare flesh, etc. My preference is

for skin, as I'm completely horrified by gore, blood, or even a hint of violence. In my case, the scenarios are always willing and consensual, non-violent, with a certain playfulness. Okay, okay, okay. I'm into

dismemberment. If she's into it. But, like, not in a gross way. I'm into dismemberment. If she's into it. But, like, not in a gross way. Consensual dismemberment. Okay, alright, got it. Cool. In this case, the woman wants to have her body divided and gets great pleasure from it. Sure. Imagine getting your first

boner when the magician saws a woman in heaven. That is 100% where this came from. I have zeroed out my mind. Yep, yep, for sure. There is no pain and absolutely no blood, although there are those who do prefer it.

As far as my separation preference, I do gravitate towards cutting or sawing. Not violent sawing. Yeah. Which seems to be... Just a gentle sawing.

Like, I like to have them separated with a butter knife. It's cutting towards the grain is what he's into. Against the grain, not the knife. I promise you cutting somebody's leg off with a butter knife is more violent. Challenge accepted. As for my separation preference, I do

gravitate towards cutting or sawing, which seems to me to possibly be a metaphor for the act of intercourse. I'm not sure. There's a lot of metaphors for the act of intercourse i'm not sure uh there's a lot of there's a lot of metaphors for the act of intercourse i feel like you're real far down on the list fireworks going off a woman's head being taken the classic that classic looney Tunes thing. You know, when Bugs Bunny gets totally separated, isn't that just the funniest part?

Yeah, it's a joke. It's as great as a joke. You know, when the coyote saws himself off the cliff. And also all of his legs. Ultimately, it's the actual separation of the woman's body parts that is the most fascinating. There are also preferences for which body parts are separated, as well as preferences for certain body parts in particular. You don't say specific preferences within a fetish community? Okay. Yeah, that's never happened before.

Never before have people had really specific differences on this god it's like christian denominations it's like i'm in i'm an arm separator not like those perverse leg separators i i have also had a legs fetish for most of my life so my preference is mainly for sawing women in half at the waist with a lesser fascination for head removal. I despise terms like beheading and decapitation as they sound much too violent and gruesome. I can be harassed.

I like head removal, but decapitation? I despise the term. I'm gonna push that lady out the window, but defenestrate is a gross word. I can be aroused by any part of a woman's body, especially if it's seen or imagined as to be separated from the rest of her body. That's a flex. But it is her legs and lower body and her head that give me the highest level of arousal. I often attribute my legs and sawing and half fascination with seeing pantyhose forms in department stores and magicians.

Oh, we call it. There it is. Hey. Hold it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, everybody, mark your finger cards. I don't think this is confirmation bias to say our theory has always been correct. First bony theory

holds strong. And magician's performances on television. Why does nobody have a ball pit account with boner theory as their username? Oh no, now they're all gonna change it. Because you assigned me Victor Laszlo. Have boots change it and you never change it back

for eight years. Oh yeah, okay. That's right. One of the crappy boners that nobody likes. If you want to see one of those crappy Pokemon that nobody likes, you should come down to Ball Pay. That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T.

Yeah, my icon is an AI-generated Pokemon that Shell Game gave to me. I treasure it forever. And, you know, magicians' performances really hot, whatever. Although there could be any number of other explanations. Nope. Zero. Zero other explanations.

The most common methods to better visualize these fantasies are photo manipulations and drawings and paintings, both of which I've created many, many examples of over the years. Oh, you don't say. There's a gallery of artwork I've done recently in an effort to shed a bit of light on this fetish and hopefully come to understand it a little bit better. And there's apparently a link to the DeviantArt. Yes, there is.

Where I guess he adds, this is not some dark, violent fetish. I absolutely adore women. I love beautiful images of women of all shapes and sizes, and I feel absolutely no malice or resentment or any negative emotions towards women, and I wish absolutely no harmice or resentment towards or any negative emotions towards women and I wish absolutely no harm upon them.

These fantasies are totally willing and consensual participation and involve no pain, death, gore, or suffering of any kind. It is a magic-based fantasy, not a manifestation of hatred or resentment. I'm not a misogynist. I love women. I love their ankles.

I love their wrists. I'm not a misogynist. I love women. I love their ankles. I love their wrists. I'm accepting of all women, no matter what their shape is. Those are the only things that separate them from each other, clearly. This is some art. This is horrifying. I hate this. This is so traced. Oh my this. This is so traced. Oh my god. This is so traced.

Oh yeah. Well, sort of, sort of. It's traced, but like, you know, they did actually have to like move, you know, the Betty Page drawing down to the side of her ass. Yeah, just for a little bit of effort, I guess. I'm digging the one where it's just It's a legs day off And the legs are sitting there With a tiny saw

Just in high heels just kind of hanging out Yeah like we'll Have the link on T-H-E-F-B-L dot U-S on the episode notes for this one But like for the listener just imagine Like a Victor Vargas drawing But like really bad Like a really bad Victor vargas drawing but like really bad like a really bad

with just random parts removed and shuffled around i've realized i am still logged into deviantart as i looked at this and it will remember that oh god damn it in for a penny for a pound i'm gonna start looking at all the texts i think you got to start making this start i gotta do the community. That's right. That's right. Got to do your part. Hey, Portex, I don't think anyone's ever suggested this for you before, but what would you think about drawing fetish material? Oh, no one saw that before.

I don't think it's ever been suggested, and I think there might be an audience out there. Oh, man, that would be great. I'll think about it. I'll think about it. Imagine interacting with the community you'd be servicing. Oh, that would be so great, too. They could just tell me all about their fetishes nonstop. That does sound pretty great.

It is pretty fun, and I do recommend it to literally everyone. I'm sorry, Jack, you had something? Yeah, I was just wondering how people are feeling about this planet, because I want to take everybody to Feet World. Oh, boy, it's Feet already. I mean, I guess I should have figured. I guess I should have figured Feet was going to come up this soon. Basically, immediately, yeah.

I'm on a pilgrimage to see some feet? It's like Cool World, but very different. Not that different. Well, I mean, have you seen Cool World? Yes. Have you met Rob, actually? You know what? If she could,

I think Holly would. If she could. It felt like a Twilight Zone episode episode i just woke up one morning to find my usually packed city completely deserted it took me about an hour to find just a single person or 20 000 and here comes the twist they were all disembodied pairs of female feet oh yes yes yes yes yes yes yes that scene from from Roger Rabbit where all the shoes fall out of their eyes. Yeah. And most of them didn't look any older than 25.

Wait. If you're a feet guy, if you're a feet guy, that's not a problem for you, I'm sure. Like, aging feet, I'm sure, is real easy. Oh, my God. Yes, the visual is so funny to me. I'm sorry. None of them. None of them wore any socks or shoes.

Oh, yeah. And none of them spoke. Except for one. Oh, I like that. None of the feet spoke. Not one of the feet. Yeah, the feet. Their feet.

They don't normally talk. As far as I know. Oh, yeah. There's an explanation. They don't normally talk. As far as I know. Oh, yeah. There's an explanation. Feet are all nudists. Those perverts. She explained, Hello, Thomas.

I'm Kelly, and welcome to Feet World. I have come to help you find your soulmate. I have come to help you find my... Yeah, you had me at I have come to help you find your soulmate. I have come to help you find my... Yeah, you had me at I have come. Way ahead of you. My first thought was, you've got to be fucking kidding me. That was my first thought too. Oh, God.

Feet world again. I never really gave a shit about feet before. Lies. You're a liar! Okay. Freeze frame, record scratch. Well, this is me. This is like when Aaron Sorkin writes a Republican.

And now some executives decided to kidnap me and turn me into a foot fetishist just simply because they can. That is something that was pretty fun. I've heard some sadistic reality shows, and this premise isn't even the worst, but they could have at least mailed me an invitation to take part. I would have even accepted if they offered me enough money in advance, but they instead opted to abduct

a random person through a wormhole, hoping not to get a foot fetishist, purely for the sake of making the show more exciting wow the lore here so many so many flourishes so weird that i'm not a foot fetishist i bet if i was this would be hot but i'm imagining just extremely shitty like early 80s movie compositing like blue screen oh yeah for walkingiting, like, blue screen. Oh, yeah, for sure. Walking around just, like, blurry, fuzzy

on the edges, where it's, like, very obviously fake. The lighting doesn't match, and the guy's like, oh, damn it, this is pretty awesome. I was hoping for stop-motion animation. Oh, yeah. Way too expensive for this fetish pornography. Horrible clay feet just walking around.

Uh, uh, I knew I couldn't escape, even if I tried, so I was left with no choice but to play their stupid Horrible clay feet just walking around. I knew I couldn't escape even if I tried, so I was left with no choice but to play their stupid game. Yeah, fair enough. Guess I'm stuck here. Guess I gotta just jerk off. Nothing else to do for it. I asked Kelly, okay,

why the hell am I being sent on a quest to find a soulmate? I didn't agree to this. You are single. No one wants to see someone live without a mate. That's why all the girls here are competing to win your affection. There are no girls here, only feet. Excuse you. So I have to charm everyone in the city, hoping that one of them would come attached to me. No, they don't want to be attached to you. That I have to charm everyone in the city hoping that one of them would become

attached to me. No, they don't want to be attached to you. That's not hot. Is this another fucking Laser Suit Larry reboot? If Laser Suit Larry was made out of him trying out different fetishes. That

would be an interesting new angle for the franchise. Oh, kickstarter.com slash BF plus. Oh, the big skill unlock tree thing that everybody posts, but it's all different benefits. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, we don't have to pay fucking Al Jaffe or whatever his name was. It's called leavea's Suit Barry. Not just the city, the whole world is yours. You have all the time in the world to find the pair of feet you like the most, and then you will take her to HQ so we can plan your wedding and get you home.

I feel... What if I like you the most? What makes you think I have the potential to win your heart? I felt a human standing behind me, breathing down my neck. I could almost hear him demanding me to create some romantic tension with the host to keep the show from getting boring. Of course, I had to say what I was clearly being expected to say. I think you're very pretty.

Aw, thank you. But everyone in this dimension is pretty, cute, or beautiful. I'm sure you'll find a local to go gaga over. I think you're very pretty. That works so easily. That's all the fiends.

Unfortunately. I technically wasn't lying. Kelly was very, very pretty. Excuse me. I technically wasn't lying. She was very pretty. Everyone from the dimension was pretty. It's as if all the humans had disappeared,

but all the pretty ones with pretty feet were able to make their feet reappear. That's why my T-shirt says pussy magnet on it. Feet magnet. Kelly implied she wasn't a local. I eventually learned at the end that she's actually from the planet Thera, which explains why she was the only one who could talk. Yeah, of course. This D&D campaign is getting a lot out of hand, I feel. Out of feet, sorry.

The execs wanted a host that looked like one of them to get the protagonist to adjust more easily while pressuring romantic tension on them at the same time. The end of each season, they would let the host go and find another one to make the protagonist feel more special. Boy, oh my god, oh my god. Okay, so once again, a document put together by Napoleon Blown Apart, who, I gotta say, Napoleon Blownapart, who...

I gotta say, Napoleon Blownapart's documents, I mean, fantastic. Fantastic. They've been so good. This story, this story, even truncated, goes on for goddamn ever. So...

I have something to say about the story, though. Okay, what's that? I'm Iron Brony 1981 This story makes me horny And what I assume And what I can only assume Is a magenta horny emoticon It's kind of hard to see

It's the only comment So So Iron Brony Iron Brony So I'm just going to read Just a little tiny bit about Is this the part that made you the horniest I discovered the shocking truth

They forced all inhabitants to participate by burning them to ashes if they tried to escape or resist. Yeah, that was it. Alright, just making sure. You got me. Did you guys hover over the horny emoji? Uh, I know I didn't. It says

HORNY! Oh, hey, I was right. HORNY! HORNY! Oh, hey, I was right. Horny! Horny! I just want to point out that this reality show dream apparently took place on the streets of Mobile. Yep, sure. Well, Alabama. Yeah, yeah, Mobile, Alabama, right?

I assume. Alabama feet. Alabama feet. Alabama feet. Alabama feet. Jack Chick, if you'll scroll down, I'm going to lead you in here,

but if you can skip to the epilogue. A bunch of things happen. It doesn't matter. Feet are involved. Yeah. He shouted what I could easily sum up as a Willy Wonka quote. You get nothing, you lose. Good day, sir. Those dirty bastards think they can enslave an

entire planet just to keep the stupid entertained? Really? You're gonna cut out the part where the feet tap Morse code? I mean, there's so many parts. It's such a very long story. If you'll just do the epilogue for me, please. Absolutely. Kelly was let go

at the end of the season to be with her husband. They went back to Thera and tried to never speak of the show again. The tabloids had Thomas covered by claiming that he and Chelsea divorced just days after the wedding, despite the fact they were never technically married in the first place. Bobby never came back from Vietnam. That was

the first season, and two more had aired by the time he found a way into another dimension he made it into the interdimensional restaurant where he was able to expose the corrupt executives through his paper causing most networks to drop the program two more seasons had aired by the time the execs realized they were losing money and reluctantly canceled uh hey could be nothing aren't you writing a foot fetish story? Do you think your story might be off the rails at this point? The chief executive was

subsequently arrested and the people of Feet World were finally freed. Yay! I love a happy ending. When all the feet get freed, right? Happy endings usually use hands. Okay, I'll clap with my feet. Hang on.

I mean, you pay for the service you want, Victor. That's really impressive. Do any of the feet people look like Gordon from Rocco's Modern Life? This is important to me, personally. Wow. Wow. That is a poor tax joke. That's a poor tax joke.

Yay! Yay, Portex. Yay, me. Yay, me. We're going to go to the next story here. It's called The Legs That Went to a Party. It's my favorite kids' book. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, Starg's easy top. And came down a mountain Yeah And And Victor you're going to be playing The role of Sarah And John Toast you're going to be playing the role of Olivia is that okay

Sure Great So this is the legs that went down to a party and uh sarah has the opening line oh okay that's that's the information i needed okay yeah yeah i uh i just you know i was you know a little concerned about the about the author of this story but it could be nothing could be nothing it could be nothing Who's Keith? That's it I don't really know you But I think you're very pretty

Sarah pointed downward And wiggled her toes a bit He suspected that she was flattered by him Calling her pretty But he couldn't find much else to say Other than Oh sorry, Booth, you're Keith. I'm Keith. I'm Keith.

You are? At that moment, Olivia came to his aid. Sarah, her name is Sarah and she's been demanding me to hook her up with you. Good news, Sarah. I'm single. Sarah is happy to know that.

Now she wants you to feel her feet. This is how I feel in real life. Sarah, don't fuck around. Oh, wow. That really clicked. Sorry. Yeah, Sarah does not believe in foreplay. Keith felt them and commented on their smoothness.

Your skin is so smooth. It's like I found heaven at a picnic table. What? Sarah really is an angel. She looked like she had just fallen out of heaven when I found her. I think it's possible that she really did jump down to earth just to be my friend. I found her wandering through a dark alley barefoot and refusing to explain while she was there, other than to hide from people who couldn't understand her. That's a natural power. It's called sign language.

It's called negging. Yes. I was starting to lose my friends after I discovered it So it seemed like she wanted to make sure I still had at least one friend In case I were to lose my mind over my power And start writing stories like this, I guess Melissa butted in You didn't lose me, Olivia, you never will

By the way, Keek, my brother is friends with your brother It's impressive that I barely even know you. And then somebody said. Just free floating quotations. Who knows? Those quotations are disconnected. Your brother has lots of friends, so it's really not surprising. Olivia quickly pulled Keith's focus back to her and Sarah.

That's Melissa, my other best friend. She's been with me for pretty much my whole life, but even she was afraid of my powers. She thought I was schizophrenic or something because of all those voices that only I could hear. By the way, you have yet to show any interest in finding out how Sarah manages to be alive and well when she doesn't have an upper body. Scene change! As they ran, the poachers continued to fire their guns at her. But she was too...

What? What? What? What? I'm sorry, you need context? As they ran, the poachers continued to fire their guns at her. But she was too fast for all of them because they were clumsy and unsure if they could really kill her

or what to do if they could at least cripple her. The poachers were inexperienced shooters who could not coordinate very well against a fat... Yeah, they didn't go to poacher school. No, they were people who poach eggs for a living and then they were

just like, wait, we gotta shoot at people? We just weekend poach eggs. They kept shooting until they ran out of bullets, miraculously managing to avoid shooting at each other while aiming for her. I don't know, that's a miracle. It's a miracle. God works in mysterious ways.

Thanks to some of their outings with Olivia's so-called friends, she was confident enough to use her athletic skills to fight off the people trying to kill her. She was able to run, jump, dropkick some of them,

and, because this is fucking Mirror's Edge, and knock the unloaded guns out of their hands before running away. And then she hit them with the figure four leg lock. Maybe they couldn't shoot her because their

guns were unloaded. Hang on. Let's consider Victor's point of view here. Goddamn amateurs. Load your guns. Who doesn't have a boots, boots, boots. You're going to be Wait, I'm both Ken and Keith?

Okay. I guess I can handle that. In this stage play, it's walking back on stage. Exactly, yeah, just put on a new wig. It's fine. This is a one-man show. One of the poachers unmasked himself,

revealing himself to be Ken. He shouted, Olivia, you're supposed to be a fucking freak. Meanwhile, Keith and Olivia had found a bruised and bleeding man lying on the ground with his eyes open. He couldn't move, but he was visibly breathing. After about half a minute of them staring at him to see what was wrong, Keith asked Olivia, Does he have anything to say? This is a different character.

Two. Two. I was going to say Keith. is a different character. It's two. Two boobies. I was going to say Keith. Yeah, Keith and Ken are talking now. Does he have anything to say? That was his voice. There it is. He says he was beaten almost to death by a masked gang.

He says they're out to get some friends and that their leader is right here. Keith and Olivia. Did the gang share one mask? They had a really big mask. I'm really hoping the leader is just like a disembodied nose or something. Or some ears. I lost my place in the ceremony.

Keith and Olivia are both shocked. They're both shocked. Keith and Olivia are both shocked. They're shocked at seeing shock. Keith and Olivia are both shocked. They're both shocked. Keith and Olivia are both shocked. They're shocked at seeing shock. Okay, sorry. Keith and Olivia were both shocked with Keith seeing Olivia's shock. And then the shock master

showed up. So he's finding out about, instead of making it up they lean towards the left of the man to find Melissa pointing a gun at them. Olivia was horrified by this. Is Melissa the legs or is she someone else?

To the left of the man lying on the ground? I really hope it's the legs pointing the gun at people. Olivia was horrified by this and said, What the hell, Melissa? What the hell? We were completely... Go ahead, go ahead.

No, it's fine. We were completely fed up with your lies. We thought you were only pretending to have power so you could pretend and not be going insane. We had to do something about it before you could go about making some more friends. By the way, your new friend is a pretty nice guy. He let us hunt you down by being beaten savagely

by my boyfriend. Unlike you, Ken is not a freak who needs imaginary friends to make yourself spielfacial. You're schizophrenic, Olivia, and I can't trust the voices in your head not to make you kill. What? Your new friend is a nice guy

he let us beat the shit out of him disembodied leg fetish slash commentary on ableism in modern society to be fair if someone was like hey it's cool you can beat the shit out of me I'd be like well that guy's pretty friendly what a nice fella

a little weird but you know you want to start with the feet? Stand up guy Scene change A few minutes later, Keith was woken up To the sound of a doorbell Sarah was outside his door, barefoot and in a miniskirt She raised her right leg at the right distance

To feel the doorbell with her big toe Indicating that she was the one who rang it She had legs that went all the one who rang it. She had legs that went all the way up until where they ended and nothing else was. If she wore a long skirt, she could look like a sheet ghost. I think that's my favorite sentence I've ever heard. There were suitcases with her clothes and other things,

indicating that Olivia secretly left there for him late at night. Later on, Keith poured some fruit punch in a pair of wine glasses. Sarah dipped her toes in the glass and then put them in his mouth. Great. Why didn't they bring

this guy in the foot fetish reality show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this guy's not a foot fetishist for sure. They wanted somebody without a foot fetish. That's why. Oh, right. Why did... Fucking...

Whatever. I don't understand. Raising her glass with her left foot, she clearly wanted a toast to their relationship continuing. Sarah later sat on the couch, and Keith spoke softly to her foot for the first time since she moved in with him. What? What? He spoke to her foot?

Sarah later sat on the couch Sarah sat on the couch and Keith spoke softly to her foot for the first time since she moved in with him. I have a new favorite sentence. So Boots Did he pick it up like a telephone and put it up to his ear

Yeah exactly that's what I'm saying That's what I'm saying Boots this is your line And I know that you're not particularly method But know when you deliver this line That you are speaking to her foot You know Sarah You truly are

an amazing girl. I had never known I could live such an interesting life before I met you. Even if there is some other dimension out there where everyone is just their legs, you are still irreplaceable. It's just

you and me from here. We don't need to have it any other way I guess there's not much other to say than I love you Oh man I didn't expect to cry Lemon you need to

keep reading I will I will Keith kissed her foot Feeling like he also Kissed her non-existent face At the same time

She is Gordon, thank you Oh god Oh god That's what it felt like To Keith That's Victor's new favorite sentence That's what it felt like to Keith. That's Victor's new favorite sentence. That's what it felt like to Keith. New favorite sentence.

Keep going. He felt like he was staring into her beautiful, non-existent eyes and being warmed by her non-existent smile. God, if I had died for every time a woman had non-existent smiles. And died for every time a woman had non-existent smiles. He felt that Sarah was the sweetest angel he could ever meet. And that she was more capable showing their love to be greater than anything else in its way. Victor, please take the only comment.

Yeah, take the only comment, Victor. I am Oon Oon. The author set himself a task and solved it himself. Before us is the story of what could not have been, but happened. We see this from the very beginning and in the development.

This is a story for those who need it. We are happy to see this, and in the development. This is a story for those who need it. We are happy to see this and thank the author. This is the only truth. The Oon Oon Collective has spoken. There's no god except Sarah's foot.

Holy moly That is possibly My favorite thing that we've ever read I hope I hope Ken was okay Fuck what a story Alright so that was What the hell was that called

That was the legs that went to a party That was the full version I got shot at and did a crime or something. Your long story. It had non-existent smiles. It was non-existent smiles. Where a woman having telepathy was a side note, I just want to point out. Definitely not the most interesting part of this story.

Definitely not the most interesting part of this story. So, Napoleon Bluntapart there had us reading some stories out of DeviantArt, an excellent place for pornography. But now we are going to Literotica, literotica.com, specifically into the fetish category on literotica.com. Because we are going to be, because we are about to read a story called Cunt Hunt! Cunt Thunt. Cunt Hunt! It does mean Cunt the Hunt.

Call of Cunt Thunt. Call of Cunt Thunt. I'm Helen's sister that they don't acknowledge. All right. So there's definitely going to be some skipping here, but I think John Toast, you'll be the voice of the narrator. Gladly.

And I think that we'll have to just sort of figure out characters as we go, but I'm going to start off as Melissa and then we'll figure out the rest. So it's a different Melissa from the other. Well, no, this actually might be Extended Universe.

The Fee World Cinematic Universe. Melissa. She's my favorite. So yeah, yeah, so I'm Melissa here I'm Melissa Okay, so tell the viewers at home what you're gonna do The voice is off screen, presumably from the person manning camera Leslie recognized it as Shannon's friend Melissa And then Victor, take Shannon, please

Well Says Shannon, please. Well... Says Shannon, clearly drunk. Mom is a witch, right? She used to know some magic. There's this one spell that separates stuff. Mostly she used it to chop stuff in the kitchen.

But it's supposed to work on anything. So we're gonna use that unless she's drunk. Sounds like a plan. but it's supposed to work on anything. So we're going to use that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know that was a spell that mom used to chop stuff, but I, you giggled a little bit and I missed, I missed it.

A very important word. I think what was going on? So my children are in the next room. Put the mic really close to your mouth and just ASMR so there's this one spell that separates stuff mostly she used it to chop stuff in the kitchen

but it's supposed to work on anything so we're going to use that on Leslie's cunt and give her a night she never let herself have oh dear this is problematic for different reasons. Okay, poor Victor. She would never choose this for herself.

Oh, sorry, Victor. That reading was really great, but I kind of missed part of it. Could you do that again, but louder? We're going to need about 16 or 17 more takes. We'll edit in the one we like best. Oh, all right. Victor, calling your voice acting reel is going to be real good. Yeah, just think of all the exposure.

I don't have to think of all the exposure. Let's get out of here. Oh dear. Shannon moves uncomfortably close to the camera, staring into it, and changes her tone to one more maudlin, albeit still drunk, still slurred. Because, Leslie, you study too much. You need to loosen up, have some fun, fuck a guy. Okay, but is this other part? Okay, yeah. I think I can do this while still holding on to my cunt. Hey, no, she explains it.

Can I fuck the guy as well as my cunt? Let loose. Does it really get any more loose than detached? See? Makes sense. Where does it end? It's like the whole reproductive system has to go with that? That is an excellent question.

Is the uterus included? Yeah. You hold it by the fallopian tubes. Ride it like a motorcycle. Wow. Fucking Mortal Kombat 12 looks gross. She grins impishly as she knocks on her roommate's door.

Melissa giggles, and an angry shouting comes from behind the Depeche Mode poster. Dammit, Shannon, I'm trying to study. Says Leslie, throwing the door open, her mouth still forming the last word when a blast of green light flies from Shannon's hand to the crotch of her pajama pants. A confused look passes over her face, and Leslie looks down at herself. She reaches down the front of her pants, and Leslie's look changes from confusion to shock. Shannon laughs and whispers something at Melissa.

I like that they glossed over the whole notion of this, like, oh, mom used to be a witch, so I will use magic. How'd you get this? Yeah, it's hereditary. She picked it up. I think you're focusing on the wrong parts of the plot here, Boots. Leslie pulls. Like, what magic school are they part of?

Yeah. There was no sorting hat. Come on. They're clearly from Hufflepuff. Hey! And that's it. Shut it down. Good night, everyone.

Thanks for coming. Tip your waitress's legs. Thanks. Tip your waitress's legs. Leslie pulls what looked like a floppy brown sponge out of her pants and holds it up to her face. Fantastic. The camera begins to shake with Melissa's laughter as her eyes widen. That's fucking sexy. A bird in the hand is two in the bush.

Giggles Shannon. But what's a bush in the hand worth? Oh, boy. A therapy. Jesus. That is the saddest trombone. Scene change. Oh, good.

Slowly, Shannon started rubbing the pussy against the featureless patch of skin in her roommate's groin. Yep, got it. Yep. This is... What? This is bizarre to the point it doesn't affect me.

Leslie began to gently bug against herself. You know what, Victor? Some of us ask, why not? I just imagine her whole lower region, just of us ask, why not? I just imagine her whole lower region, just her whole area just inside is a cube of like the magenta and black no texture texture that happens

whenever you have to have a texture something right on your 3D. TF underscore orange X, yeah. Okay, so Shannon has grabbed Leslie's cunt and is rubbing it against Leslie's, like, can groin? Yes. Yes.

Correct. Yes. Again, I ask, to what end? To what point and purpose, I guess. Leslie began to gently buck against herself. I've seen a lot of weird shit. As Shannon said. This is easily the weirdest way I've seen anyone masturbate

And the best Agreed, Literonica.com readers Did I mention it's the best? Leslie's moaning became more animalistic as her thrusts became more forceful Wow Shannon said, surprised. Looks like you want to come. Good thing I know just what to do.

And then? And then? Yeah, what happens? Okay. What happens next? What happens next? I'm collecting all of my parts. Hey, tell us what happens.

Tell us. Come on. And then she put Leslie's pussy, all of it at once, into her mouth. Yeah! It's like Sergeant Chowdown. Chubby booty. Hey, guys, I'm going gonna do the pussy mouth challenge. Alright, let's see how long I can go. What do you mean demonetized?

This is so out. This is how aliens masturbate. In the world. Keep going. Holy fucking god. Gassed Leslie. Her eyes bulged as she pulled away from the sheets.

I can feel it all. Oh my god. That's great. Your tongue's all around me. Fuck. Yes. Shannon only smiled, chewing softly. great? Your tongue's all around me? Fuck, yes? Shannon only smiled chewing softly. Don't do that!

Your brace is still on! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh fuck, don't stop! I'm like, gonna come! Dead. Shannon rolled the pussy around in her mouth, rubbing both sides of it with her toes. Really aerated it, you know,

took a nice inhale. Yeah, now I could check this out, I could tie it with my tongue. Folding it backwards and forward, twisting it, and even penetrating it, making a bubble out of it. The left side and the right side? The front and the back?

Hey, John Toast, I have an important question to ask you. I have an important question to ask you. I'm listening. Yeah, this pussy that she's got in her mouth, what is it like? Like, what is it like? Oh, do you mean its consistency? Yeah, like, what's the consistency of this pussy? Oh, I'm glad you asked.

Its consistency was like soft rubber, like firm Jell-O. Thank you! Wait, which of those? I don't think that helps. It's like my only interaction is with a flashlight, so I assume... It's basically the same thing. But also with Jell-O. Hang on, Jack's joke's still coming over here jack are you doing oh god shannon i don't think i can take much more of that can i finish

shannon pushed leslie's pussy out of her mouth halfway. It looked like a tongue. Just let's, let's, let's, let's meditate on this. Yeah, whatever. Why not? She smiled.

And so did her roommate. Then she leaned in coming in for a French kiss. Leslie smelled her juices on Shannon's breath. Her roommate stopped centimeters away. She brushed Leslie's face with her pussy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That, that with her pussy. Okay, yeah. Yeah, okay, yeah, that would be possible.

Yeah, absolutely. You want it? She managed through her teeth, sending a vibration through the pussy that made Leslie shiver. You want it in your own mouth? Oh my god. Yeah, whatever, man. At this point...

Is this gonna be like a time paradox thing? Is she gonna say time paradox thing? Is this going to be like a time paradox thing? Is she going to say no to something? This is the least weird thing that's happened in this. Is she going to like fold in on herself? Like what's going to happen here? Oh, I'm licking my own pussy.

That's gay. As gently as she could, eyebrows raised, Leslie nodded, moaning, and stuck her neck out and tried to take the cunt between her own lips. Why is this so gross? Watch your clit, huh? She said as Leslie's mouth wrapped itself around her lips. She seemed to slurp it into her mouth like pasta, no doubt savoring the alien sensations

of her labia sliding into her mouth. What kind of pasta? Oh, well, I mean, I think Bucatini is the closest to pussy. That's actually the right answer, too. Immediately after I said that, I was like, no, you fucking idiot. It was Tagliatelle. God, you suck at this.

Now I'm going to get kicked out of Pasta Club. I don't think that's the reason you'll be kicked out of Pasta Club if they find this episode. Fuck. Leslie grunted. Don't think I've ever been this wet. Presently, she shut her mouth and gave a squeak. That's hot.

Problem? Asks Shannon, leaning back to slide a hand into her panties. There wouldn't be anything there, correct? No, it's Shannon. Shannon's doing it. Shannon's still got the stuff. I'm sure it's a nightmare down there for Shannon, too, but a different kind

of nightmare. Fold it in half. Fuck, that's the stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever fold a girl in half, dude? Love it. Well, just her pussy. Yeah.

For a moment, there was a silence, a palpable tension as if something had to be said but wasn't put forth. Leslie was enveloped in completely new sensations, too far gone to notice. Shannon's face became redder and redder until she finally broke the quiet fog settling over them.

They're just all like, wow, this got awkward. You promised me it wouldn't get weird. And then, Toast, if you will, real quick, just skip a little bit down to I've got a confession, please. Or, sorry, that's Shannon's line, to I've got a confession, please. Or sorry, that's Shannon's line is I've got a confession.

I've got a confession. Shannon said sitting up and wiping the sweat from her face. What's that? Said Leslie, sitting up as well and wiping her pussy off against the covers. It's like a butter knife.

Just kind of like... I got some dust on it. Blow it off. Shine it like an apple. Yeah, there we go. I can see my face in it. If it's detached, you can just set it out with the laundry if you really wanted to. Just swing it in the breeze.

Yeah. What is happening. Oh, it's, uh, I'm sorry. As she did. So she moans slightly. I can't put it back on.

I don't know the spell. Irresponsible. Nice record scratch. I bet you're wondering how I got here. Listen, lady, today's just taking pussies off. Mom never had to put the meat back together. The silence returned. Leslie looked Shannon in the eye for a long time,

then turned her gaze to her detached lips on the covers. After a moment of contemplation, she grinned and looked back at her roommate. You know, that sounds great. Yay! Yeah. Yeah. Hello, my name is the nose. It's just a nose typing on a computer.

It's like pecking like a bird. I really like his username, though. The handle. You mean 12 Strokes at Midnight? Yeah! Yes, I just wanted to share some fact with you. So, the nose. There is a short story about a man whose nose jumps off his face and goes for a night on the town.

It's by Gogol? Hardly saw it. Thought I'd see a variation involving a pussy. Good show! Good show! I doff my hat at you, sir. Good job. White stock footage crowd clapper, yeah.

Anonymous had posted a comment five months ago. This story's ten years years old it has two comments hi i'm wondering if you would write another story similar to this one or do a continuation of the story that was that was a decade ago i'm a different person uh this this author has not uploaded anything to literatica since uh 2013 yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, quit while you're ahead, I say. Quit while you're a floating pussy. While you're a floating...

Oh, yeah, this author has also written a detachable head story called Ultimate Head. Ultimate Head. Playing volleyball with it. So, uh... That's like Ultimate Frisbee. We have a final section. We have a final section We have a final section

But we're all feeling good here Like we can record for a little bit longer We can record for a little bit longer I suppose Okay fantastic because Jack Check's been into the story Called Abandoned Pussy at the Goth Club Yeah I sure have Oh no

Oh god Okay Overdrawn at the goth club. Yeah, I sure have. Oh, no. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. Overdrawn at the pussy bank. Overdrawn at the pussy bank. Yeah, absolutely. So I think, actually, Victor, do you think you can just sort of take this story and, yeah, let's knock this thing out.

Abandon pussy at the goth club. Yeah. Pussy looks drunk to me. So, yeah. So Luna's a goth girl who finds an old note in a secondhand book about pagan witchcraft. It promises the magic separation of individual

body parts, and in her mind, the idea emerges. This might be the ultimate solution to get close to Damien, the attractive lead singer of the band Astral Cadaver. Other girls might give him roses, stuffed animals, or even panties, but only

she can give him her most precious and intimate sacrifice, her living and sensing vagina. You ever seen Astral Cadaver live, Jack? No, but Astral Cadaver is actually a black metal band from Ecuador. Of course they are.

Of course they are. Of course. They ever play with Party Cannon? No, there's some random band from fucking Cuenca. No, no, no. But yeah, like, of course, of course, they're on metalarchives.com. Of course they have a terrible, stupid logo.

Of course it's a one-man project. So you're telling me they haven't played with the Tony Danza tap dance extravaganza. But yeah, they did have a single from 2022 called A Corpse in the Cellar. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You had a story to share with us.

Maybe it's really her letter I mumbled to myself. Even if this might be the case, even if I find a phone number or something, my chances with her are probably rather neglectable. She is just not interested. Nevertheless, I'm curious about this secret fan mail to Damien. Neglectable?

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Hmm. But it's no problem to find out about that. If it's not drugs, it might be a self-made stuffed animal? No more speculations. Let's find out! Unboxing for you, literally!

As I close my zipper, next sentence, I go into one of the stalls and take the envelope out of my pocket. It does have a weird, somewhat familiar smell, but I can't make out what it is. Carefully, I open it on one side with my keys. A few gooey drops are dripping out.

What the fuck? I peek inside. What is that? A dead animal? A marinated piece of meat? It's disgusting and has a particular order. I let it splash onto the beige tiles in front of the toilet. What the hell?

A pocket pussy? But it looks quite authentic, even pre-lubed and wet. It's quite authentic. Just why? Is this a prank? You know, I mean, okay, so you can get the Amazon basic pocket pussy. Of course you can. Of course you can. Of course you can.

Of course you can. But you pay a little bit extra, our pocket pussies come pre-lubed. So I poke it curiously with the tip of my boot. It's soft. I get into a crouch to inspect it. It looks surprisingly real. One of these girls must have gotten a high quality replica of her actual pussy as a gift for Damien. These groupies are freaks!

It looks nasty with long floppy pink lips and there's a piercing above the clitoris. No pubic hair. But even a few tiny red spots and imperfections, which makes it look remarkably natural. Just all that slime is rather excessive.

It must have been expensive. A weird gift. Definitely fetish stuff. I mean, I've seen girls throwing plush bears, panties on the stage, but a replica pussy? That's obscene. Although it's all wet and gooey, I can't help but touch it.

Wow, that feels realistic. Even warm. It must have been heated up beforehand. How odd. Microwave. Piercing seems to be real as well. I shove the fake clitoris around a bit to investigate how it might have been made, but I can't really figure

out how this thing was produced. No seams. Just sitting there staring and investigating constantly okay yeah so i might as well play with this so who's lunar because this is oh my god i like the role for investigation i got i got a four see i was i was just anticipating like the the you know the the scene from la noir where he like spins it around for five minutes uh i gasp and flinch as my naked pussy suddenly smashes into the cold floor yikes kind of turning into stog but not quite in the reflex i push my legs together but that doesn't do anything shit ah hastily i ruffle through my purse, but it's gone. The envelope is gone, and the letter is still there.

It must have fallen out somehow. I get even paler than I already am, and I push a girl next to me aside so I can search the ground. It's like a contact lens. Out of my way, bitch. I'm looking for my pussy. Have you seen this pussy? It's yay big. It's too dark and I can't see it. Please no. How could this happen? That damn thing must be here somewhere.

I must be careful not to step on it by accident with my heavy boots. That would be a catastrophe, crushing my own genitals. It's NPM. Do you know where your pussy is? Please, dear reader, do not think about crushing your own genitals with a boot. Now I'm imagining this is like a David Cage game. You mean Time Cop? No, like...

Oh no, where's my pussy? I cannot find it. Victor's over there just like examining the pussy and then it cuts scenes over. Pussy? Pussy? Pussy? Pussy! Pussy!

I can't do that right now. I don't have my pussy. My kids are going to have so many questions tomorrow. That's fine. They're all healthy questions. They're all healthy questions. Look, sometimes Dad just says weird things sometimes.

Sorry. Where the fuck is it? Why is it naked? Just how? I can't wrap my head around it. My head presumably also detached. I don't know. But it sure was still in my purse just a second ago. I would clearly have noticed the movement if someone took it, so it can't be far. Luna's having a bad day. Why did you detach it? Whatever.

I grab my phone to get some light, and something pushes against my nude vagina. A shoe or something? Gross. I must find it now before someone steps on it. Or worse, even finds it. Oh, man. Finding it would be worse than stepping on it. Right. What a mess.

I can't believe my naked genitals disappeared somewhere just beside my feet. What a mess. What a mess. What a mess. What a freaking ding-dong day this is. I freeze and cringe as alien fingers grope my bare pussy out of nowhere. In a panic, I sweep the tiny phone light around,

but I can't spot the source of the fingers, which are shamelessly poking at my unprotected clitoris. It needs a shield and such. A little helmet, perhaps. Stop, I don't want that. Who is doing this? Who found it. A little helmet, perhaps. Stop! I don't want that! Who is doing this? Who found it before me?

Oh, no. No! Somebody picks it up, but it isn't here. My pussy's in here. Where the fuck did I lose it? Yeah, I know! I know, lady! I know!

You've made that clear. Anyway, who is touching me? I tried to protect my crotch with my hand, but the violation happens in a completely different place. Yes, I know! Yeah, that's fine. I quickly glance up to Damien, but he doesn't even notice me. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't let him fuck me now anymore. Shit!

Why did you detach? She really should have registered her pussy on Find My iPhone. Listen, Luna. She should have set up multi-factor authentication on her pussy. Put AirTag on it, yeah. She wanted to fuck Damien, but then her pussy fell out.

Look, Luna, listen. She was like, of all the times. Luna, if you want to carry your pussy around, there's a really easy way. You could have already done that. It's called don't unzip it from your purse. Stick it in a bag. I'm just saying. You know, I feel like we all know this, right?

When you're just going down the street and you've unzipped your pussy and oh god, and then you lose your pussy and you're like, where'd my pussy go? Oh man, the grand old Opry is turning on you, buddy. I'm just saying, it's important you back up your pussy. Set up a secondary email

on your pussy in case it gets lost. Alright, to finish up this episode, we are going over to Clips for Sale. Yay! So mine is

Laura Smith in the Land of NBM Headless. It's got the categories of amputee, cross-leg fetish. Cross-leg fetish. And doggy style. So if you were looking for doggy style, you'll come across this one. This script is based... Algorithm jamming on clips for sale.

What's your favorite position? Oh, when your head's cut off? Cool. This script is based on a science fiction novel entitled Land of the Headless. This version of the story focuses on the experience of a lovely young woman living in the futuristic, religiously fundamentalist state.

Oh, that is hot, though. She is to have her head magically rendered invisible for the crime of fornication. Huh. Then she will be returned to society. In this way, she is branded as a criminal And a fornicator for life I know exactly which Twilight Zone episode you jerked it off to

This clip is focused on Legs fetish and NBM fetish Laura's head is made to disappear At some point of the video And then her body keeps talking Flashing and teasing Ends with a bit of simulated doggy-style sex, quite implied. A Googled

NBM fetish. It's natural body magic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the topic of this. The title of the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good work, Chris. I really like beer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. That's what you learned. I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight, Boots. The effects are very good here, but the result has been part ruined by the location. And Laura moving too much! Damn it, Laura. God, you suck, Laura. Also, here I am on Clips for Sale, and he says the effects are quite good here. Poor Taxi View, just click on the link and just tell me what you think about these effects.

All right, let's do this. What do you think? What do you think? The effects are pretty good here. Warning. Enter. I certify. Please don't.

All these aren't good, though. Portex, could you please answer the knock at your door now if you click play you can see it move anyway i'm sorry i'm sorry that's see this yeah this ruins my mental image i was really hoping that once her head once they magically get rid of her head that she does the thing where you stick your head inside the neck of your shirt? Yes, yes. I was thinking the exact same thing. Lauren's NBM magically headless body twerking at scam glamour shoots. Nice. What?

Price $15.99. Category erotic magic. Related categories amputee, big tits, magic control, neck fetish, and twerking. Epic. Lauren shows up in the studio for an unusual performance she's gonna try a lightsaber being used on her which will separate her head from her body for some time as a test for a magic show since she will remain alive the goal is to be able to find out whether she can still feel and control her body which is unlikely taking it extremely easy he she

kneels down and has her neck exposed A lightsaber appears in the guy's hands Which impresses Lauren Then in the blink of an eye The lightsaber runs through her neck And we see her head jumping over the camera The headless body remains kneeling for a while Up and out of control

Showing a magic What? Oh, okay, yep, okay I mean, I'm sorry You know what? I'm sorry, I'm sorry I You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had a moment of failing to picture it, but then I realized I can just go to Clips from

a Sale and watch the movie. Lucky you. So here we... This technology... Fucking what? How long ago was Star Wars, kids? And this fucking moron... Fucking what? How long ago was Star Wars, kids?

And this fucking moron. How do I make a lightsaber in After Effects that's probably never been done before? I'm sorry. Go ahead. The guy approaches and starts unbuttoning her blouse. We understand there is something wrong going on. In the next scene, we see Lauren's disembodied head being held up in the guy's hands she tells about her experience of losing about losing her body and says that she can't actually feel or control it and the guy is very reassuring he tells her they're going to move to the other room and talk for some time where she will do her best to try and mentally connect with her body in the next scene lauren's head is resting on a table and the guy is sitting in front of her

they're still talking and lauren is getting a bit bored of being ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the guy persuades her to remain ahead for some time in order for the experiment to succeed. In the background, we hear the noise of a camera shooting, but Lauren doesn't seem to notice it. In the other room, her NBM headless

body is getting itself in trouble, standing in front of a photographer taking its clothes off in a sexy body is getting itself in trouble standing in front of standing in front of a protographer taking its clothes off and his sexy striptease showing off her tits while the photographer keeps shooting it's definitely a glamour shoot something which goes beyond lauren's levels but the body doesn't know or it wants to take advantage of the lack of her control so it seems super excited to pose in front of the camera in the other room the guy tells lauren's head that he's gonna have a look in the other room to see if there's any progress he leaves lauren's head

alone bored and unaware of what's going on what but serene he gets in the other room and finds the body standing in its panties and stockings things are looking good here he has plans he's feeling feisty he takes the body's hand and leads it into the bedroom the body follows obediently let's party we see lauren's headless body twerking her ass laying on the bed just in stockings panties and heels this is something that should embarrass lauren so much but she would never do any of this but she doesn't know without her head the body just does what it's being asked for without inhibition. So here it is twerking its ass for the guy's enjoyment. But it's not over. Later on, we see the headless body hula hooping.

So it's basically a lot of fun for all except Warren's head, which has been forgotten on a table for hours in the other room. That sure is the most pornographic thing I can think of. Hula hooping, you say? Yeah. Yeah, what? There's patterns in these pornography, and all of them are problematic. Uh, yeah.

What you got, Portex? I have Ivy's Failed NBM Body Swap. This is 18 minutes, by the way, apparently. It's $12.99. The category is erotic magic. Related categories... You start out with a disclaimer on this one.

Yeah, I do. Like the preview? That is quite the Betty Page haircut that you got there? Please be aware that at the time of the shoot, Ivy was being natural and her legs are really hairy. Oh, okay. Just be aware of that. Why do I care? Aren't they gone?

Be aware of it. Okay. Ivy visits a specialist as she no longer likes her body because of many tattoos she regrets having. I'm assuming it's like clipsforsale.com like on her back. Yeah, she got riffraff tattoo artists. She would like to swap her body with a blank canvas one, but she has

no money to finance the operation. The scientist slash doctor, who gives a shit what his job is Offers her something special He's wearing a lab coat He's undoubtedly the random dude in the lab coat Offers her something special He can try to

Butcher He can try to sell her old body And keep her NBM head in the house with him Until the body has been sold And there are funds to get a new one She gladly accepts the deal And she is made to strip down in the house with him until the body has been sold and there are funds to get a new one. She gladly accepts the deal and she is made to strip down and lay on the medical bed

where her, using a magic collar device, her head is magically pulled off! With magic! Have I mentioned that magic is in this? Magic is involved. Holding it by the hair, the doctor shows Ivy her own body as the magically disembodied head admires it and

keeps talking about it. She is very excited about the coming swap. A few days later, we see the doctor browsing the web, looking for a body. You know, just go to... He went to bodybuilders.com and was like, oh, wait, this is what I was looking for? Damn it!

And then he couldn't figure out how many workouts he was supposed to do in a week. He was like, oh, I'm confused is what I was looking for? Damn it! And then he couldn't figure out how many workouts he was supposed to do in a week. He was like, oh, I'm confused. I don't get the stuff. Then he tried a dog body like the thing in Mars Attacks, and that probably didn't work out too well. Ivy's... Wait, why has Mars Attacks not showed up,

actually? Good question. Futurama and Mars Attacks should be in this fetish. Better. More pop culture savvy fetishes. Yes, please. Finally, somebody says that I'm the height of sexiness.

Thank you. Yes. Now I'm warning. A few days later, we see the doctor browsing the web looking for her body. Ivy's head lays on the table. God, fucking domed by the headless body of Spiro Agnew? And she's discussing it with him, but unfortunately there are no candidates on the horizon. So she agreed to have her head pulled off before finding the body. I feel like you should have just had that ready to go.

I think we've established that Ivy doesn't think long term. Apparently not. Later on, we see Ivy's head left alone on the couch talking to herself. Life as a head is not that exciting. She hopes her new body will come up soon. Another scene shows the doctor holding Ivy's head to his lap, stroking her hair. It's understandable that he is in love with her, and he wants

to keep her as an NBM head for as long as possible, as she will leave then. Maybe that's why he pretends to not be able to find a new body. Oh, that's not ethical. That's not ethical. He's gonna get sued for malpractice

magical malpractice but Ivy has no feelings for the doctor and she is tired of being just a head so she has to be reattached to her original body and give up the doctor tries to make her change her mind but the situation is clear and he has no choice but to restore her head to her own body so nothing fucking happens

yay wonderful has no choice but to restore her head to her own body. So nothing fucking happens. Yay! Jan in the pan. That's the other one that should be in this. The head that wouldn't die. Oh, yeah, no, yeah, absolutely. Good point. Actually, you know what? There's a lot of pop culture, though.

Yeah, and we were talking about the magician thing, but now I'm realizing there's a whole bunch of first boners that can be there's related to this is the least like cartoon and anime affiliated fetish we've ever seen and yet and it could be it's the most there was a whole number in labyrinth yeah yeah the final piece from the labyrinth what the fuck be more anime perverts anime Catch up with the rest of the internet. You know, if only there was some sort of famous

anime character or manga character that was really into disembodied hands. Could someone get on that? Maybe we'll make that happen. What did you find, Victor? I found Chloe Toy's smoking disembodied MBM head

has her limbs sold on the black market. Yeah, she would, wouldn't she? So this is in high def. It's $14.99. The category is erotic magic. The related categories are adult school. Oh, man.

That high def really highlights all of the artifacting in the green screen everyone's got a thick gray line it's really good okay sorry so yeah the related categories are adult school amputee foot fetish hand fetish and smoking. So, naughty schoolgirl, Chloe Toy, has missed school and pops into a lab instead. So we know this is another British pervert.

I think the school fetish is British. She wants to have a good smoke. There is a guy there who in the past allowed her to have her head disembodied and mounted on an aspirator machine, allowing her to smoke without affecting her lungs, which remain on her body. So it only takes a mouthwash

and her parents won't smell anything. Oh, that's clever. That's clever. Okay, good job, Chloe. She is desperate for another naughty smoke, but this time the guy is hesitant. However, in the end, he agrees to let her use the machine again.

We see her disembodied head mounted on a pike and connected to an aspirator. A scientist assistant puts a cigarette between her lips and lights it up. Thanks to the aspirator machine, Chloe can smoke and enjoy as the machine sucks the smoke through a pipe coming from her stump. She is very happy and enjoys her cigarette. The pleasure you get from a cigarette is where the smoke goes from your mouth directly to your brain. Correct. Yes. Yeah.

Okay, good. Thank you. She doesn't know that she is being scammed. In the meantime, her friend has disembodied her limbs and is collecting scammed. In the meantime, her friend has disembodied her limbs and is collecting bids, selling her disembodied hand and foot on the black market.

Oh hey, there's that pattern again! He shows the parts to the webcam, trying to sell these for more money by teasing the bidders. Craving for a smoke has been a very bad idea. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Scams are sexy. This last season of Black Mirror has been really awful. Smoking is bad for you, kids. It is? I mean, it's a statement. It's a statement about smoking yeah it's a morality play really at its core how healthy is disembodying your own head and limbs not as bad as smoking okay not as bad as smoking it is magic if you're gonna smoke cigarettes you might as well disembowel your own head. And also trusting strangers. What did we learn from any of this, Plus? There's still a rich vein of crazy rest of mine.

It's beautiful. Again, again, I did not know this was a fetish. Like, a week ago, if somebody would have said, oh, yeah, but this is a fetish, I'd be like, yeah, that totally makes sense. I'm sure it would be a fetish. But, like, I'd never come across it. I didn yeah but this is a fetish i'd be like yeah that would totally make sense sure it would be a fetish but like but like i'd never come across i didn't know it was a fetish and fuck it's got its own like criminology to it it's it's the inverse of amputee porn like like what if a woman didn't yeah like what if a woman didn't have a leg? And then it's like, what if a woman was only a leg? Then she'd hook up! Yeah.

I, I, I was, I don't know. I really, really liked all of the stories and stuff. Those were all really, really funny. And then the clips for sale were like, Ha ha ha, this whole fetish is sexual assault! Hooray! Well, yeah, no, it goes on a nice little thing, because like, you know, a nice little journey, because like in the very beginning, it's like, I have a thing,

but obviously, like, I don't want to victimize anyone. The further you go into the fetish, it's like, no, victimize people the best. Yeah. Just, I don't know, I feel like really slimy with all of the fucking awful consent that happens

to be to give the fetish way more credit than it deserves to give the fetish way way way more credit than it deserves that it's endemic to clips for sale in general of like there's there's just

sort of because of the icky economy that kind of like drives the whole thing like the idea of and like the pattern of like of like uh of like just women being generally put out by sexual things happening, like not over the moon horrified but just like oh damn I got forced in the porn again my pussy fell off again god damn it

it's such a fucking weird thing to obsess over and as you enter into the depths of this fetish, they're so into it. Yeah, show me how disinterested you are in this. Yeah, you think there would have been

more theatrical. Like, I don't know, my foot fell off and now I'm juggling it, or just something silly like that. Sure! But it was just so much, like, the problems were so mundane for the concept of I can magically detach my limbs from my body.

Well, like, I mean, like, the one where Luna, right? Because, like, it was, like, that one thing that Toast read of, like, the women that were just peeing. And that was the only thing that that writer liked was that women were peeing. And so he just had to spend paragraphs and paragraphs

so like he lost her pussy and just had to spend paragraphs of like no no no where'd it go hey I am not I am not a fan of pee stuff but in contrast

to what we read today those ladies were into the peeing. They were having the time of their lives. That's true. The lady mopping up was even finer. Yeah, she was just like, oh, you guys. Oh, man. Our website, as always, is THEFBL.US.

Our forum is Ball Pit, as mentioned earlier in this episode. There's another site with games called Kinda Fun, and I just recently ported over the game of Pretend World over into Kinda Fun. So if you want to look at the worst celebrity impersonators that I could find and guess which celebrities they're trying to impersonate Kinda Fun is the place for

that. Every time I go back to Discord, Portax is posting a terrible photo. That's fine. There's a photo of a woman with genuinely a real good cake. Like it is a Netflix is this cake type cake

of her own face that she's cut out. I've been expecting stuff like that. Who cake fetishes, it is a Netflix is-this-cake type cake of her own face that she's then cut out. I've been expecting stuff like that. Who cake fetishes? You have a cake person. Yeah, that's a cake you could unlock an iPhone with. Once again, on Ball Pit, if you want, if you want, because there needs to be an

account by the name of Boner Theory. If you're the kind of person that, like, is just for some reason religiously opposed to paying $10 to create an account on a forum, write me and say, I want to create the account of Boner Theory. Change your name to Boner Theory legally and you will

actually cover the cost for it. Change the name of Boner Theory legally and Boots Reindeer will send Jack Chick $17. Jack Chick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Mike. JackChick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Frank West isn't here.

First name Boner, last name Theory. This is going to get weird when someone does that. Oh, well. That was actually Boner's last name on Growing Pains. Theory of Boner. You see, Growing Pains was a simple one. 30 minutes ago, I was like, I'm not going to mention growing pains.

Okay, bye. It's happened. The ghost of Alan Fick will now hunt us. I swear I would lose my pussy if I wasn't in that test. Why didn't she close her purse? Why didn't she zip up her purse? Why did any of that happen now that I think about it?