The F Plus - 403: Jo Joe Skies In Stroke Trouble

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Jo Joe Skies started a forum. On that forum is a single thread. That thread has 300,000 replies. If we exclude the posts made by bots, each and every post is Jo Joe Skies replying to himself with a new important message. What kind of things does Jo Joe Skies post? Well, if I told you the forum's color scheme is yellow on cyan, does that give you an idea? This week, can The F Plus live with you? Can The F Plus move in with you right away?

Good joke. Thanks. You got two-thirds of a Woody Whitbecker from Lemon there. Oh, yeah. This is the F-Blood Podcast! Nope. Cheers! All right. This is the F-Blood Podcast podcast we've got terrible things terrible people what's here why am i why are we why are we terrible now what is that i thought

i was all right i thought i was okay Do you hear that sound? It's the F Plus Podcast. A terrible place with terrible things that we'll read with enthusiasm. And in the room tonight, we've got Boots Rangier. The hands are shaped nice and feet shaped terrible. John Toast. I dreamed about a wild bear. Jack Chick.

What toes say to you equals long second toe equals indicates leadership qualities. Hey, we've got Ganymede! Oh, what did my ghost done with my toilet roll paper? Why did he or her take it? It is gone. Just the empty rolls stand on the top of my hand-sank cabinet. And Lemon. I notice French women has terrible laugh.

They sound like duck quacking or goose honking. On, on, on, on. Everybody jumped and buy window tent. Hey, F-Less. Hello, Lemon. Hey, Lemon. Hey, do you all like online communities? I sure do. Yeah.

What kind of online communities do you like, John Toast? Oh, I like ones where there's a lot of people to talk to, a lot of different opinions, you know, a lot of different perspectives. You know, I really feel like it broadens my own horizons. Oh, hey. Hey. First of all, don't fucking lieens my own horizons. Oh, hey. Hey. First of all, don't fucking lie to my face like that. I'm sorry.

I was just trying to make conversation. I'm sorry. Listen, listen. I know that, like me, you are a, you know, a user, a citizen, a citizen of the Internet. And as a citizen of the Internet, the opinions of others who disagree with you are fucking unacceptable. Well, I didn't want to say it, but yeah. So actually, to that end, I've got a document for you that is pretty, pretty exciting. So this is another one given to us recently by Vampire Software.

And I need to introduce you to Joe Phillip. Joe Phillip, aka JoJo's Skies, started a online forum at BoardHost.com. Joe Phillip likes the color

cyan, and secondary to that, the color cyan And secondary to that The colors blue and yellow So with those colors in mind Created a forum That is unpleasant to the eyes They are all the colors of JoJo's skies I know we've kind of moved off

The sort of intro question But you know what I really like about Internet forums Wow, okay, yeah DJ, rewind that tape back This is relevant to him, but you know what I really like about internet forums? Wow, okay. Yeah. DJ, rewind that tape back. This is relevant. You know what I really like about internet forums? I really like a variety

of topics that one can discuss. Separated into separate subjects. Okay, no. Fucking no. No. You prick. You goddamn fucking

prick. Alright, so here's what we're going to find on joephillip.boardhost.com Design best practices. We're going to find design best practices. That's absolutely true. We will find a single thread

located in index slash general discussion slash welcome to board host okay in which there will only be posts by one person how? How many of them? I forgot. 317,000. Yay. So Vampire Software, thank you very much, actually did the work and skimmed through them all. So 300,000 plus of those, which why didn't you count each of them individually? Holy shit. Where I take back everything good I said. But 300 thousand plus of those

are bots and this one poster is posted 2,372 replies. All by one poster. That's 70 posts out of date. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. So you're right. So, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough.

So you're right. So, okay, you're right. You're right. You're right. So there's a single thread with only one person posting, but also there's more than 300,000 posts by bots. Yes. And rather than doing anything about that, it was like, just reply.

Okay. Cool. that it was like just reply okay uh cool so uh so uh in the confines of this episode we will of course all be jojo's skies uh so here's my uh first thing that i want to say as uh jojo's skies welcome to your new board host forum we hope you enjoy our service. If there's anything we can do to help, visit our support center at support.boardhost.com. Be sure to visit the administration area link in the top bar to customize your new

forum and get familiar with the powerful tools available to you. Your friends at boardhost.com incorporated. With that, Jack, check if you'll take the next oneHost.com Incorporated. Oh, thank you. With that, Jack Chick, if you'll take the next one, please. Yeah, sure. So this was on

June 4th of 2015 at 11.44 in the morning. I do want to point out before you go forward, Jack Chick, that that introduction post was 11.36am the same day. Eight minutes later. before you go forward, Jack Chick, that that introduction post was 11.36am the same day, so. Yeah, eight minutes later.

Yeah, he got the software set up, it did the first autopost, and he was like, alright, here we go. Unleash the Kraken. Yep. Alright. Within two parentheses, old saying, was it not far better to be equipped with a blind faith that refuses to question all that lies around us? Space question mark.

Open parentheses. Two. Closed parentheses. You look like a weasel. Reputed habit. Open parentheses. Three. Closed parentheses.

He or she would understand that the majority are right. Those who bow their necks to a yoke and pull heavily to move a burden open parenthesis for closed parenthesis the burden is only the weight of true happiness are these citations

I think they're chapters of the saying sure let me check later in the forum to see if he follows up on this bibliography here. I'll be back in a couple of months. We're playing 200,000 footnotes. Some of these are still longer than James Patterson chapters.

All right. In the future, when I just say a number, just assume it's in the parentheses construct. Will do. Five. He or she had gone with empty hands. Six. He or she had gone like a wind and noise through life.

Like a wind, he or she would disappear and for forgotten. Seven. Virtuous ice there is always a sun which can melt it. Eight. And that knowledge struck them like a bullet through the brain. Nine. That living is better than dying for everyone who really knows.

Ten. Let us be peaceful pouring oil on those troubled waters. Eleven. A man who thinks twice forgets hated. What the fuck? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I didn't understand any of that. At all.

Even a little bit. Nope. Yeah. None of it. None of it. Wait, Lemon, are you interrupting him? Well, then I will say the next thing. Number 12, you pouch-faced old rat.

How dare you? You pouch-faced old rat. Cool. Cool. So, Boots, So, Boots, on December 9th of 2015. Oh, yeah, I posted a variety pack. Oh, okay.

Maybe this category is variety pack of the duck. Who knows? Okay, okay. Three songs. I got three songs here. Okay, okay. You want to hear three songs? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, first one first. First song, Hum This here. Okay. Okay. You want to hear three songs? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. First one first.

First song. Hum this song. Okay. How do I hum that? Yeah, hum it. Hum it. Fucking, yeah. I mean, the text is right there.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-uh-uh-uh. Hum-hum-hum-hum. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Hum-hum-hum-hum. Uh-hum.

Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Uh-hum. Okay, now there should be the start of high sound and slowly low bass. Repeat it faster and louder each time. This will make you feel better each day. This will make you feel better each day. This will make you feel better each day. This will make you feel better each day. I did it. Throat clearing.

Before you start your music show with concert theater, make the people sing this chant song. Song number two, sing this song. Okay. E, E, E, ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh, hum, hum, E, E, E, E, oh, oh, oh, hum, hum, hum, hum,

ah, ah, ah, ah, E, E, E, E, oh, oh, oh, oh, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum. E. Lemon, can you give me the notes for the song? In the middle of the song? The notes? Yeah, it says start saying high notes slowly and go to bass. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Start saying high notes

slowly and then go to bass. Repeat it faster and louder each time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Start singing high notes slowly and then go to bass. Repeat it faster and louder each time. Oh, God. You forgot the E at the time, indicating that this is an expression. Sing in high note. What part of this is the song? Solve for E, E, E, O, O, O. I think the song has ended at this point now.

All right. Do you have a third song? Yeah, I've got a third song. Sing at this point now. All right. And do you have a third song? Yeah, I've got a third song. Sing this song. Yeah. Yeah. Bomb, bomb, hum, hum, uh-uh, ee, ee, oh-oh, ee, ee, oh, oh, oh, bomb, bomb, bomb, hum, hum, hum, ee, ee, ee, uh-uh, uh-uh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. A copy of Pat-a-thon is responding to this.

Finally, Patapon 4. Oh, it's free. Don, checka, don, don. John Toast. Yes? Do you have a story from June 9th of 2019? Oh I sure do Good you know what hey hey hey I realized that I'm in the mood for a story

But specifically I'm in the mood for a Barber story Well I can do you one better I can give you a true story equals barber story equals Is that what you're looking for? Yeah no your expression G gave me an error, but yeah, great. Do not plug the story into Excel.

You will crash your computer. This barber told this story equals country woman came with her eight-years-old boy for a cut. They walk into this barber shop. Barber told the little boy to sit in the barber chair. The barber started to put the hair cloth on the boy. The mother came over to start to tell him what kind of haircut she wanted for her boy. Barber replied back, yes, I can do this. The barber started to measure each side of the boy head.

She wanted modern hair. High sides and short and leave the top long! She came over again! Very modern. She wanted kids' haircuts. Telling the barber she wanted one side high and one side little lower

on her son's head. Very modern. The barber replied, No, you can do not. One side lower! You have to have both side the same or it would look kind of stupid the barber said i did lots of this kind of haircuts he said let me cut your son's hair and sat down she said again i want one side high and one side lower the barber said just take boy and go i don't want to cut your boy's hair. Just go.

I did lots of this kind of haircuts in my barber. You cannot have one side high and one side a little lower. It would look very stupid. Carrot eye lowercase. Oh, I guess these are italics. Whatever. The hair has to be cut both sides short and high on each sides the same like this and leave the top long and comb it across or just mess up the hair on top very quickly and leave it

thank god she took her young boy and went out the barber shop he said i hope i never see her again by joe skies well thanks joe I wonder where he was for this story. Just kind of sitting next to these customers. I'm glad we got another story from the guy who wrote Full Life Consequences. Yeah, no, I think Joe is just, like, hanging out the window of an apartment building with a parabolic microphone. I like stories uh here's another anecdote sourced from that spying uh line up in in triple parentheses line up i was in the line up front of a store

i saw a fat woman walk behind me with a young man. They were talking back together. When I hear her ask the man what he like from a woman, he replied, I like a woman be honest, clean, not bossy. Oh, we're never leaving these quotation marks. Oh, she said to him.

No, we're just getting deeper. What he like from woman and he said, sit down. I like a lady who can nest infinitely. I'm just like, comma, that. I'm very clean. I'm very honest person. I'm not bossy.

I do have job and would share my money with you. And my parent made me be very clean person the man answered back very nice to know this she replied right away can I live with you can I move in with you right away laughter laughter

it's like the start of a beautiful friendship very normal to me but I'm a lesbian so laughter laughter laughter of a beautiful friendship. It's very normal to me, but I'm a lesbian, so... The man said nothing for a couple seconds and said, No, my parent wouldn't like that. Plus, I don't know you. The fat woman turn around quickly and walk away.

He look at me. I said nothing. I didn't know the. The fat woman turn around quickly and walk away. He look at me. I said nothing. I didn't know the narrator was in this story. Was I thinking about what she asked him? What he liked from a woman? Greater than sign, the main and first question should be what kind of sex you like? This

is the main trouble in marriages and do you enjoy beating and hitting women? Do you enjoy beating and hitting women? Do you like to control your women? These questions are the most important to ask someone before you move in with them, because you will be very sorry later on. You find out he or she like weird sex and very control and violent person. And it is very hard to get out from by Joe's skies.

It was a cautionary tale. That was a cautionary tale. If those questions questions were asked this would have been okay well now that we've now that we've learned a little bit about uh joe's guys sort of output uh and i think we've kind of come around to to to know joe's guys yeah i feel that way i mean i would say love joe's guys um yeah yeah you definitely trust ghost guys so uh i feel like i should move in with just guys right away well then you should before you do that you should ask what do you like from a woman the main and first question all right so uh joe skies uh has some advice for, you know, the world in general. We're going to start from November 11th.

Don't trust gay people. Uh-oh. 80% of them will cause trouble or blackmail you later on, so don't go out with them or have romance with them. Later, they will come back to blackmail you for money and other things. This will be your worst nightmare forever and ever. I do know people who have this trouble. It's not funny.

Even wealth people have this trouble. Like, equals Michael Jackson, equals Liberace, equals Elvis Presley. Same guy. Yep. Same guy. They're all the same. Presley? Same guy. Same guy.

All three of those people had relationship problems that were caused by somebody else, right? That's true. That's true. In the case of all three of those people, you would say, that person being gay was the worst thing I could know about them.

Yep. I wonder how much Elton John had to pay out to keep his secret in his lifetime. Whoa. Whoa. What? Huh. Elton John secret.

I wonder. Well, I mean. The best kept secret in Hollywood. He must have paid a lot. He must have paid a lot, because none of us know. Yeah. Yeah, we're finally letting the cat out of the bag

on Elton John. He must have paid a lot, because none of us know. Yeah, we're finally letting the cat out of the bag. And Elton John. From the... Jack Chick from the very same day. You got another one there? Yeah. Don't buy hot produces! What? I know lot people who had brought lot hot

produces and things from street people or any kind of people later they will try to sell you more and more you cannot say no because he or she will say to you you buy more from me

or else we will go to the police, tell lots bad stories about you. They would come back and blackmail you later on. It is very hard to get out. You better think twice before you

start buying from them! Okay, so blackmail, I get blackmailed by gay people and hot produce sellers. I'm writing this down, alright? Yeah! What if I find a gay hot produce seller? Do I just run at that point?

That is the least trustworthy person. What's hot produce? Like, I don't know. I don't know. You can go into a grocery store and, like, there will be fried chicken there sometimes. Is that what he means? I mean, maybe he means, like, street corn, like a lotte. Like, I mean, I don't want to give that much nuance to JoJo's Guys.

I guess. Okay, okay, okay. You know, when you go to the grocery store. But don't we think Jojo Skies is Canadian? Do you think that Jojo Skies is getting hot elote in Canada? I mean, if so, I want to know where the fuck that is.

Yeah, yeah. Boots taking actual notes here. If I go to the grocery store, they have corn tortillas, which are corn-flavored flour tortillas. Oh my God. Not surprising. There's tortillas, parentheses white, and tortillas, parentheses yellow.

Why do we think that this guy is Canadian? Because it says, from Canada, on every single one of his posts. Oh, I see. That's the idea. So, speaking of, Boots, you're a countryman here I'm going to give you two choices Oh good The first one is from December

19th of 2020 And it's called How to Break Crystal Stones Okay, that's very promising And your other option is from July 29th 2021 and it is Make Your Penis, 2021, and it is make your penis bigger. Okay, it's that one then.

Okay. All right. All right. You don't want crystals. Okay. Fine. Well, hey, if you make your penis big enough, you can break crystal stones anyway. It just doesn't rank for you.

Listen, I know all there is to both crystals. I just want my penis bigger. That's true. That's true. That's true. Make your penis bigger. Purchase or buy electric heat pad pug in and place it on your penis every day the heat will make your penis grow bigger each time and each day uh the heat the heat make the blood vines open up bigger with heat i don't

this okay oh okay okay okay the great event sign this means this leads to the penis has lots of open up bigger with heat. I don't... Okay. Okay, the great event sign. This means this leads to the penis has lots of blood vines on it. This leads to so try this every day with your equals electric heat pad equals on your penis. And then a triple curly

parentheses. Yeah. Oh, so we're in a... It's like a handlebars variable. Yeah, yeah. God damn it. Cheap place to pay or purchase a electric heat pad is on eBay.

Go to electricheatpadebay.com. You will save half price and free delivery from eBay. Wait, what? By Joe Skies. Are you an affiliate? Throw away your penis pump. No way!

Yeah, that's what the handlebars thing was for. The affiliate linking. Are you saying that you're not potentially in this man's sales funnel right now? No, no, I'm excited, actually. Use my offer code, a-a-e-e-u-u-a-a-e-e-u-a. Who is this? The chipmunks. Try the electric keypad every day on your penis.

You will see the different each day on your penis. And the head on your penis. Oh my god, there's a whole head on there. I never noticed that before. Thank you, electric keypad. When you scream at the penis, it screams back at you. Summer loving. Alright, cool.

I've learned a lot from this advice section. This is really helpful. But, Ganymede, I forgot how the alphabet works. Yeah, you could stand to learn even more. I kind of... I wasn't going to say anything, but earlier you said this was an unsorted forum topic and that there was no organization to it.

Right. This should clear that up. This is alphabetical order. Okay, that's a different thing. All right, got it. This should clear that up. This is alphabetical order. Okay, that's a different thing. Yes. Is equals A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, N, O, P, Q, R, S,

7? I'm so glad I was actually reading these instead of... I wasn't about to trust this motherfucker to get through the whole thing. Wait, why are you back in the book? That's so weird. Don't you know your alphabetical order?

It's been a while. I'm rusty. They taught me this in Cordrigan. Sorry, I'm Rust 7Y. JoJo's Guys is learning lead speed one letter at a time. JoJo Skies is learning lead speed one letter at a time

like over to Mingo replacing it every day 7UVWXYZ equals I hope this will help you equals to find things in books by using alphabetical order

next time you are looking at a book by Joe Skyes something to think about food for thought think about it won't you thank you he says alphabetical both times that's one thing

I love of encountering in episodes where it's just like oh they misspelled that that one time and then you were countering it it's like nope that's how they I love of encountering in episodes where it's just like oh they misspelled that one time and then you were countering it it's like nope that's how they think that word is spelled nope that's what they're going with this is the alphabet the alphabet they recited it to a seven

hey I like it yay to a seven. Hey! I like it. Yay! Yay! Okay. How wonderful is natural beeswax to use? People really don't know how wonderful is the bee wax to use.

Helps, colon, moisturizing and softening the skin. Space, period, helps, space, colon, space. Helps. Okay, never period. Help space, colon space. Else. Okay, never mind. I can't do this. Formatting things are happening.

This is under a sentence that says, there are so many posts about bee wax. To remove wrinkles on the face or anywhere, suffer from allergies, homeroids, stretch marks, some acne, rosacea, eczema, helps, minor skin cuts, wounds, abrasions, scrapes and wounds, helps, chap lips in wintertime, helps. So if you want your lips chapped, this is what you get. Yeah, chap your lips in wintertime. Oh, I can feel the skin coming off right now. It's great. You know what helps?

Helps! Hair loss and make hair grow back. Helps! To bring the color back in the hair. Helps! Softening the hair. Helps! To softening the fingernail and nails on the toes. Helps! To stop itching or skin

itch. Running the bee wax on the eyelids. Helps to stop itching or skin itch. Running the bee wax on the eyelids helps the itchy eyes. Running the bee wax on the itchy eyes around the bee. Improve the eyesight helps relieve pain. Soft bee wax and rub it on your body parts.

Whatever you got. Before you go ahead, the eyes earlier there was a quotation, so I'm not sure what he's... The eyes. Yeah, eyelids around the eyes. The eyes. So-called. You know what I mean.

Helps by rubbing bee wax on the male penis, make it bigger, and make you horny. bee wax on the male penis, make it bigger, and make you horny. You get your natural bee wax from the health store, it'll be very hard. So melt the bee wax down with olive oil. What? That's how that works.

Melt the bee wax down with olive oil or coconut oil or baby oil. What am I doing? What have I made? You're melting bee oil or baby oil. What am I doing? What have I made? Your milk will be rags down with oil. Yeah, those are three equivalent things. Olive oil, coconut oil, and baby oil.

Make sure it's only made from the finest babies. That'll make it soft to use. If you're absolutely in a pinch, motor oil will work too. I mean, if you're absolutely in a pinch, motor oil will work, too. Put it in the cup to melt it in the microwave oven. This will make the bee wax soft to use on your nails and skin.

The bee wax has to be very soft to use. Melted the bee wax and olive oil together in the microwave oven. You could add perfume to it. By Joe Skyes. Bee wax works very quick. Just a few seconds on your skin and it works. Bee wax is good for leather shoes and leather coats and leather chairs. Yes.

Where does bees get the bee wax? We just don't know. Oh, well, actually, I think we're going to get an explanation. Oh, yeah. We just don't know. That's how they work. Oh, well, actually, I think we're going to get an explanation. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. So where does that come from?

I'll tell you. Worker bees, roughly 10 days old. They develop special wax, producing glands in their abdomens. The glands convert the sugar in the honey into wax, which seeps through the small pores in the worker bee's bodies, leaving white flakes on its abdomen. This actually sounds right. Yeah, this is pretty accurate. These bits of wax are then chewed by the worker bee to make wax areas to hold the honey. By Joe Skyes again.

I gave myself a byline twice. Oh, we got a two-pack here. Awesome. Yeah, this was by Joe Skyes for Joe Oxi Olson, a.k.a. so you know Joe Oxi Olson, right? Oh, Moose Jaw? Olison. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm talking about Barbershop Joe or like Moose Jaw. Yeah, he's from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. B-Wax has Hi-Ho Pal-mo-lite. Nope, nope. It's got stuff. Hi-Ho Ex-pom-i-tate. Hi-Ho Ex-pom-i-tate. Hi-Ho Ex-pom-i-tate. Okay, so hey Ganymede.

Oh yeah, what's up? I was looking at this post from May 7th of 2016. And why do we call the policemen pigs? Oh, plenty of reasons. Let me find the actual one, though. Let me... Different podcast. Sorry, you said May 7th?

Yes, May 7th, 2016. Oh. Why do we... Called the policemen... Pigs? Pigs are friendly. Pigs are clean. Pigs are all colors. Oh, why do we called the policemen pigs? Pigs are friendly. Pigs are clean. Pigs are all colors.

Pigs do their own things. They don't interfere with no one. If they left along, they are very independent. They taste good. Unlike cops who taste foul. You taste terrible. This cop is too sweet. my cop is too sweet this cop is too salty gotta find the golden cups oh i'm looking for a new mommy cop so why we refer policemen pigs i would refer policemen

as black crows that's. The black crows do suck. They are like crows. They come in pairs or groups. They infer like crows. Crows are well known for their inferences. They use rudimentary tools. It doesn't say that. They cause lots of noise when they are around.

They dress in black. They come in pairs or groups when they travel. I think I said this already. They come any time a day. They eat everything that is fast to eat. Man, the gingerbread man is fucked. Do they mean like donuts? Okay, the metaphor is... I can't follow this metaphor.

It's too complicated. I think like pigs... Sorry, like crows, cops eat fast food, which pigs do not do. Yeah, no. If you present a hamburger to a pig, it'll go, no, thank you. Very discerning. French fries, I shat. This is kind of just like an unhinged version of what I would have said.

It's just as trite. It's the... They attack him. kind of just like an unhinged version of what I would have said. It's just as trite. Well, fine. That's okay. That's okay because we were just on time.is and we learned that it's Atheist Day.

That's right. March 23rd is Atheist Day. So to celebrate, I'm going to read this post from June 9th. And it's called, Jesus Christ Die for Nothing. Oh, shit. Oh, man. This Thanksgiving is fucked.

Yeah. This is about to be liner notes in Jack Chick's new favorite album. Okay. God was very stupid to let his only son Jesus Christ Nope. Nope. Sorry about that.

His only son. Different guy. God was very stupid to let his only son, Jess Christ to die and suffer on a cross for humans. Hey there, I'm Jess Christ. What's going on, bud? Jesse, get down from there.

No. Hey, y'all, it's me, just Christ. I'm going to show you my haul that I just got from Ulta. Okay, I got this lip liner. Okay, humans do not appreciate his death. Humans are ungrateful for what God did to us on Earth. I believe Jesus Christ died for nothing. No one can help the human race.

We are a greedy. Wow. Hi, Wario. And liar. And responsible. And what? Oh, reprehensible. We're not responsible.

Reprehensible. And very self-estranged from God's ways. We don't want to go by anything's clean or honest ways in our life, in our time, on Earth. We humans make our own laws and even change God laws of the Ten Commandments to suit on earth. We don't have any respect for the human law or human life. We humans just keep doing what we want on earth. If it means to destroy the earth with pollution and chemical spraying and garbage, we will keep on doing it until each human is destroyed on earth.

We are very greedy and stupid creature on Earth. God should never create us humans on Earth. God should keep animals and birds and insects and reptiles and fish on this beautiful Earth only. But no crows. No, definitely not crows. I believe humans are the worst thing God ever created on this beautiful earth. This is one of his big time mistakes. God made by Joe Skies.

Remember, only time humans want God is when they're very sick or dying. Humans would jump to God right away if they're sick and dying. After these people get better and feeling good, these people drop God like a rock. Ghosting on God. Terrible. God's just on the couch with his electric blanket

eating ice cream. Can you believe it happened to me again? I mean, the whole point, the whole pint, I really shouldn't. Okay, no one does anything special on Easter? Not to get off topic or anything. What about the fucking eggs, asshole? But Christmas, we all go crazy spending money.

We decorated the whole house. We party all three days. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. That's why I like Christmas season so much. It's just a fun party the whole time. Nothing for Easter. Why?

Remember, Easter, Jesus Christ suffered and died, and he was first to resurrect from the dead, and he gave us second chance in life. You believe in him and God the Father. Copy for the family, Bible, congregation, Joe. The Holy Trinity. Bible, congregation, Joe. So who was the second

to be resurrected from the dead? Let's see. Oh, Tupac. Oh yeah, fair enough. Okay. Awesome, thanks. To the power of holograms. That's right.

Okay. So, Jack Chick. I like sex rants. Okay. Think you can give me one of those? Yeah, sure. Great. Beware before you have any sex with someone keep your lights on when you have sex you see if the

person has any sex sores or sex oh sorry what all right okay sex sores if the person has any sex sores or sex rations on his body now it sounds like you're actually learning Leedspeak. Sex sores! Bitches like my style! Sex rash, sex rash, you're my sex rash. I really like, I really like, I'm sorry, can we turn the lights out? I don't want you to see my sex sores.

On his or her private parts because they will never tell you later on something happens to you it is too late I would make them remove their clothes off completely before I would have any sex with someone but first remove your clothes

what a weird fetish I would expect you for sex sauce! Can we be naked when we have sex? Can we be naked when we have sex? I know I'm weird like that. I'm sorry. This is going to be exactly like when you take a car back to the rental place

and like, hold on, we need to do an inspection of it and bring out the clipboard. Poking in a couple spots with a pen. Like, wait, was it like this before? Alright, how long is this going to take? I really, I have to fuck somebody else. I have a picture of it with the sex rash visible in the lot. It was like this.

Did you fill the tank up with gas before sex? Excuse me, excuse me, this clitoris came damaged! I would like to speak to the sex manager. Think about this when you were planning to have sex with someone

next time. Don't think because you know him for a long time he or she will have some kind of sex sores or sex rashes or sex diseases or sex infections

of some kind. Don't think that? Nope. Okay. All right. Yeah, so don't worry about it at all. Oh, okay. I mean, you seem to be a little bit alarmist in the beginning of your paragraph, so I guess it's fine now.

Yeah, no, I think it's okay. Like, I just, you know, you should know that these things exist, but also don't know that these things exist and don't pay any attention to them. Yeah, if you've known them for that long it would have come up yeah honey why do you never talk about your sex rashes shut up shut up are you feeling okay i'm just you know like you're kind of ruining brunch right now uh what should i what should i remember about sex, JackJack? Um... The word remember this is in your post. Oh, yeah, sorry.

Remember this. Some men have blood in their sp... Ooh. I mean, I'm sure some do, but that's... Well, I guess that's not technically true, but you know. You know, this is what that Cannibal Corpse song is about.

Yeah, that one. That one that's about blood and cum. Yeah, it's called I Cum Blood. It's off of the Bloodthirst album. Come on, let me keep up. Oh, they could have called it Cumthirst. I don't think it's actually a flip thirst. Anyways.

Some men has blood in their... From yourself. Some men has blood in their sperm. Don't swallow or use save sex. Well, no, because I've only got three typewriter ribbons. Oh, man, the auto... I'm getting wasted on this sex. Man, the auto sex checkpoint hit on a really bad move I was doing,

and I just had to repeat that. It was really bad. Oh, God, I'm hard-locked into cunnilingus. Quick save right before the cum flag. This sucks. That's why I call my dom the task manager. Hey! I like it.

Yay! Hooray. The men will tell you. There's a DOSBox joke here, but I can't think of it. That's all right. All right. Moving on. One can only tell so many DOSBox jokes in a day.

That's true. It ran out before the recording. I thought that was like the third law. For the listener, he told DOSBox jokes before we recorded. I did. It was really good. Okay. Actually, John Toast, instead of the DOSBox jokes, can you go down to, it's from 8-12-2020.

Or in addition to. And, yeah, just I need some more sex knowledge, I guess. So is the knowledge you want to start with? How can men or women can do this? That's exactly right. Okay, good, good. I'm glad we're on the same page. I can't believe human got no moral in principles of right or wrong or right behavior or one's conscience or right behavior and no shame.

Yeah, I can believe that too. Thanks for the colon there for a breath. What they are doing on sex cam chat on internet. Young and old, men or women are doing weird things with sex toys. Nuded. With each other, all kinds women are doing weird things with sex toys. Nuded. With each other, all kinds of sex on these sex cam chat rooms. Define weird. I can't believe these people

really enjoying pooting these sex shows from their homes. Sex with different kind sex toys and really enjoying it. Sex with animal or fruit or garden food. One of those is not like the other. Escalated quickly.

Yeah, don't, uh... No, de-escalated quickly! Yeah, sure, dog, but banana? Yeah, report one of those. I just meant from, like, using a sex toy for its intended purpose to dog. When he says garden food, is he talking about fertilizer

like food for the garden okay that's pretty gross that's pretty gross think about all the million of people watching you just the one the exact one million your brothers or sisters or parents or

relatives and friends are watching you naked and jerking off or riding a sex toy or putting sex toys into your buttocks front of million of people of internet watching you on the sex cam chat what like if they're going into the buttocks something very bad is happening no no no no no that's what, no. That's why I gave the $20 tip. Put the sex toy into the buttock, please. Stab. Thank you. Ah! Yes, thank you.

That's what I like. I would feel stupid shame doing these things in front of so many people and worry about your friends or parents or brothers or sisters or relative are watching you on these sex cam chat rooms. Bye, Joe Skies. Something to think about. I hated house parties. You see this happen always in private house party.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so when you said I hated house parties, I was like, who would invite you to? Oh, no, it's a porn site. Okay, got it. Yeah. Oh, okay. I didn't actually get that, yeah.

This has real, oh, my God, that's disgusting where kind of vibes got it. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I didn't actually, I didn't actually get that. Yeah. This has, this has real, oh my God, that's disgusting. Where kind of vibes. Yeah, absolutely. You see this happen always in private house party volume four. Well, it's like, it's like he was typing that rant on his right monitor while the porn was happening on the left monitor. Uh, okay. his right monitor while the porn was happening on the left monitor. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.. Okay.. I think this one's about breast milk. a real man. a real man. a man. a man. a man. a man. a man. a man. a man. a man. a man. a man. Boots 424 2022 please The F plus I think this one's about breast milk Real mother milk

Why don't they market Real mother milk In the grocery stores Or drug stores There must be Illegal and also horrifying Lots of mother do have lots of milk in them. And they want their breast milk.

They want their breasts to be empty of their milk each day. Yeah, but those that have it, it's spoken for. So why don't someone... I'm not going to speak on behalf of this. What am I doing? So why don't someone create a business selling real mother's milk and pay the women money for their milk? Easy job for women with lots of milk in their breasts. Easy money.

Assume at all times that it's the wrong bear. Something to think about. Because there is lots of people who can't, who cannot drink dairy milk or other kinds of milk. You know what? Fuck lactate. There's only one other milk for me.

Yeah, I... He only says something to think about after stuff I never want to think about again. I mean, he's not technically wrong. It is something to think about. Not that you would want to. This is a fun noodler. Something to try desperately not to think about.

Plus, it'd make jobs for women. Work at home. And easy money. This is a new kind of misogyny I wasn't expecting. and easy money. This is a new kind of misogyny. I wasn't expecting it. The business could have a place to come to do to drop off the milk.

I want to read that again. The business could have a place to come to do to drop off the milk or they could have places to get done in their business area or... Create unprofitable business can go to world children

foundation uh the wcf yes well if it's for a good cause then uh uh i mean the problem is that this is a oh go ahead. Oh, no, go for it. I was about to move on to another post. I was just going to say, you know, I think you could do this, though, but you would need to have an unbiased location for this, some kind of neutral milk hotel for it. Oh.

Can't, I can't, why did you give him that? Why did you? There is, there is an alternate universe where we didn't hear that. Where you just plowed ahead and he was like, oh, I couldn't tell my joke. I had like a segue ready to go and everything.

Cut to 50 years in the future in that alternate universe and we have like, everybody's got a million dollars. We finally got flying cars. This really was the turning point here's the thing about podcasting we couldn't just start from the other position and edit it in that doesn't make any fucking sense

well setting aside this sliding door scenario we discovered one type of brand new misogyny and i think we're about to discover another uh alcoholic women why are so many women are alcoholic i believe this post by the way is entitled guy if you're alcoholic this post is entitled on society by the way oh sorry this is a i think that's a category that vampire software has put it into. I believe they don't want to face the true. They are gay!

Oh. What? That made them alcoholic? Okay, alright. And they are worried what people would think about them in public eye. From family to relatives and friends and strangers. You could just say everyone.

I don't think you didn't account for anyone there. It is terrible fear. Katty Lang, the songer. That's Katie Lang. Comedian, entertainer. Katie Lang,

the songer. That's really good. Comedian, entertainer, Caddy Lang. Shoot the moon. Constant craving. It's always Ben.

Hey, guys. This is a joke for ten people, and five of them are in this podcast. All ten of them listen, so it's fine. We've definitely never mentioned Daniel Songer on the fucking podcast. Said this on YouTube. She said, every day you are fighting

for your rights and always beginning. Judge what you are every day. You are not free to enjoy your life. By Joe Skies. It goes for all gay people in this world. All the gay people in the world. Fighting for their life.

This goes for men. Some men are alcoholic or some men are on street drugs. They don't want anyone to know they are gay. They play this secret game with the straight people forever and ever. The end.

The end. Last edited by Jojo Skies at 11.08 PM. Right before bed, I guess. John Tost, do you think we should do the post, which apparently they are, you're right, they all are numbered. So this is post number 2403, which is titled Doing Sex.

Oh, okay. Oh, let's see. None of the posts are titled because they're all on the same, they're all titled Welcome to Whateverboard. Well, no, because they're titled. Are they? I don't know that if you've ever written before, like on the internet. But in order to create a title, you go open parentheses, open parentheses, open parentheses.

You put in your title, close parentheses, close parentheses. You're right. You're right. Oh, I see what you're saying. Okay. All right. I got you. I got you.

Hey. Hey, y'all want to know about doing sex? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got you. Hey. Hey, y'all want to know about doing sex? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Doing sex. Oh, man. Oh, I can't wait.

Every, you know, when Uncle Jeff comes over for Thanksgiving. It's pretty cool until we have to kick him out. Doing regular sex with someone. Did you see what muscles you use? Leg muscles. The knees. That's my favorite muscle. Legs. Muscles. Lower back muscles.

Should muscles. I don't know. Tell me. Should muscles? No thank you. Something to think about. Leg muscles. Chest. I'm sorry, neck muscles.

I do. Yeah, that's true. I do do a lot of sort of, like, duck movement when I'm fucking. There's, like, I actually, my Getting Laid song, when I put it on, I put it on and and I go like, I turn to the lady and then I just put on the music. Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody fuck like a dinosaur. Boom, boom, aca-laca-oh-a-oo-ee-oo-a-oo. boom boom chest muscles stomach muscles

arm muscles and hands and wrists two of my favorite I think they're like a good workout actually my other two favorite muscles hands and wrists you wonder why

over sex people have lower back pain lower back pain back pain leg pain knee pain hip joints pain neck pain, lower back pain, back pain, leg pain, knee pain, hip joints pain, neck pain, arm pain, chest pain, trouble with their hands and wrists

pain, feet muscles pain. Is this an infomercial for celibacy? If you have had sex, you may be entitled to compensation. Call the law offices of morrissey and morrissey oh god where was i um let's see i was in the pain uh oh look at my lawyer's web design i'm going to jail uh just uh feet muscles feet muscles pain you know jail. Feet muscles. Feet muscles

pain. You know, all of them. People does lots of sex will have all these pain and trouble in their body parts. They use all these muscles and parts of the body doing sex acts. They don't waste any of the parts.

They fuck every part of the animal. Oh god, don't. And garden fruit. Yeah, the garden fertilizer. they fuck every part of the animal oh god don't and garden fruit the garden fertilizer see I fucked the balls in the ground and then I put the fertilizer people who are

people who are doing sex will have heart problem and stroke trouble. No, I do sex so that I don't have to have stroke trouble. Wait, what do you mean by stroke trouble here? There's two very different meanings. Yeah, I suppose you're right. What's the episode name? Jojo Sky's in stroke trouble.

I just can't get the direction on it. I can't get a rhythm going. Damn it. People is like steam engine. I'm sorry. Nope. People is like stream engine when they do sex. Or like a animals or a

dog. No stopping. They move quickly and hard and with heavy breathing until he shoots and score. Touchdown! Yay! Rudy. Rudy. Something to think about. Bye Joe Skyes.

In multiple posts he says bye Joe Skyes and then there's... This is the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen. There's a deep Rudy reference for you there. Enjoy, listeners. Good job.

Okay, he's closed off the post, but then I got more! Why do you have so much pain and troubles in your body parts? Sex. Leave it at that. And then a bunch of uh brackets and then when human do sex it sound like they are torturing each other the noises they make grumble groan grunt scream squeak loud swearing bellow and same time letting off human gas

equals some couples bit each other and scratch each other with their fingernails and some pull the hair on each other doing sex. They say sex is enjoyable. Liars! So, I noticed that this was written on, let's see, July 25th, 2020

at 1.42pm and then it was edited at 4.41pm. So I'd like to picture a couple hours later, he's like, wait, I got more to say! One more thing. Hey, F+. It's time for poetry! Finally, some damn culture. Yeah!

Alright, we're gonna go way up to post number 20 in this forum here. And John Toast, can you take a poem here from, let's see, that would be July 18th of 2015? Oh, I will gladly take this. And this poem is titled Poem. The fresh early days of this thread. Yeah, before it got all commercial.

Before the bots descended on it like crows. Anyways, poem. Cowboy do travel. Cowboy has adventure. Cowboy do drink. Cowboy has guns. Cowboy styles never change. Cowboy is quick in action. Cowboy like

to fight. Cowboy like to ride. Cowboy love nature. Cowboy love animals. Cowboy is quick in action. Cowboy like to fight. Cowboy like to ride. Cowboy love nature. Cowboy love animals. Cowboy has strong sexual desire. Cowboy keep on looking. Bye, Toast Guys. Perfect. That was beautiful. That was really good. I like how you were all stunned into silence there. Yeah, well, the listener needs to know that that was not you replacing that.

He actually wrote the word cowboy. Oh, yes. Thank you for pointing that out. Hey, Jack Chick. Hi. Question for you. Question for you I need to ask. How is your juvenile?

I mean, it's not as good as my Manny Fresh. Oh, actually, yeah. Either of those will do fine. Either of those will do fine. Oh, actually, yeah, either of those will do fine. Either of those will do fine. So with both of those artis in mind, if you'll scroll down to 117 to 2016, post number 91.

Post number 91, okay. Yeah, yeah. You are a good shaker and super stroker. That sounds exactly like Juvenile. Yeah, I know. Absolutely. Okay. You are a good shaker and superstroker. You know how to shake it and stroke it.

You make a shaky with deep desires and motivation. Hell yeah. Short and sweet. I like the first rendition. You know, you do look good when you back that ass up. Can I do number 74? Oh, what you playing with? You know what?

You know what? Back that ass up. You know what I mean? Just... Yeah, take it, Bruce. Okay. This is titled... A poem! All the other, Boots. Okay. This is titled... A poem!

All the other ones were, like, lowercase. This one's intense. Let's spread. Let's roar. Let's have. Let's penetrate together. Babe. By Joe Skies.

Hey. Wow. That's... Boots, what are you doing later? I just want to, you know, just... Well, let's penetrate together. Ooh, all right. I'm going to stick some cloves in an orange.

Volume number 333. Oh, babe. Oh, wait. Oh, babe. You are hot. Oh, babe. Oh, wait. Oh, babe. You are hot. Oh, babe. I love to feel you. Oh, babe. I love you

to ride me. Oh, babe. Let's see. Oh, babe. Let's vibrate perfect yes can I read 236

yeah please please please do a poem you are my dream boat you are my teammate you are my bed warmer you are my vibrator You are my bed warmer. You are my vibrator. You are my play fellow.

You are my sex toy, babe. You are my power drive. You are my, are my power play. We are one. We are a team. Let's penetrate with motivation by Joe Skiles. Wow. You know, I mean, Electric Six put out a lot of albums.

You are my dream boat! It's good to have a hot kid elegy in the middle of your sex poem. Okay, I want to do this one. This is number 62. All got i want to do this one i want to do this one uh this is uh number 62 all lonely we want to be poked by you all lonely we want to be hugged by you all lonely we want long hot sweet kisses by you all lonely we want our nice, warm, soft bed be vibrated and motivation by you. Okay.

By Joe Skyes. Okay, I'm taking 63. Great. You really know how to moonlit us. Moonbean us with passion. Bean us with your passion, moon. Dong! Ow!

God damn it. Moonbind us with your passion, moon. Dong! Ow! God damn it. Moon bind us with desires. Moon struck us with motivation. Moonish with love. Mooney with action. You are our moonflower, babe.

By Joe Skies. Jack Check, you found the one and only rule on joephillips.boardgames.com. What is it? Yeah, so no dirty writing or obscene being in my website. Also, enter your announcement here. I have one more. Oh, great. Yeah, yeah.

We love to be your sex toys, babe. We don't run on batteries. We run on love. We don't break down. We just tired. All right. I just like the band needs 15 minutes, alright uh I feel like the band needs 15 minutes so uh if everyone wants to

get some tacos I have definitely been in a song circle where somebody sang that play em off adbots uh what uh what did we learn from any of this F plus oh

well I like the efficiency of this, F+, Oh Well I like the efficiency of this It's just, well, you know Other Crazy forums we've read We had to have like a, you know At least ten people posting on there And we just got one here

You know, I really appreciate the output Yeah, yeah I mean, we got to look into the mind of Jojo Skies, for sure. So this single thread on this forum, the only thread on this forum... There's

Facebook integrations, so you can like this thread. Does anybody want to get... Without looking, take a guess at how many likes this thread has. 317,000. Zero. Well, it's definite confirmation he doesn't have a Facebook account.

So that's what I think of it. I was very, very convinced that this was actually a bot for about the first half of this episode, and then I started Googling around and found a bunch of other, like, there's a blog spot, there's a WordPress, and you can just watch the progression of him making crazy website and then being pissed off about it and making another one. So apparently he's just sticking with the forum. Yeah, this is the one that's stuck yeah yeah yeah yeah well yeah i think it's i mean i

mean like truly truly uh boardhost.com i mean it might suck but it's less hackable than wordpress it hadn't occurred to me before this that the sort of person inclined to post like this truly does not care whether anybody else ever sees their posts. Like they're all written as though they're advice to another person. But this seems like evidence to me that it doesn't matter to Jojo Skies whether anybody actually reads this because it can just sort of like it's here now and it can in theory be read. And that's the important part yeah, the sort of like the internal because like, are you trying to figure out because like I was like, okay, so registration

is active, so like if I wanted to and I won't, but like if I wanted to I could hypothetically make an account well you'd have to agree to the terms of service I would, I would, so I would not post anything dirty but like, but yeah, so I mean that was a conscious decision So

So So the question is like Was this started With like, oh I'm gonna have this Forum Nevermind, or Like how intentional was this Or is it really a matter of like

I genuinely, like I can like, my words are very important. The audience is irrelevant. Yeah, no, it's absolutely the latter because of. I think so, too. Like, he was using other blog platforms first. Right. Like, he wasn't, like, I didn't find, you know, like, five different forums he'd set up. He just set this one up.

Sure. I don't know. He just set this one up. Sure. I don't know. He liked the input. I have no idea why this one stuck and the other ones didn't. I guess it looks distinct. That's true. That's a description. Yeah, that color scheme crashed every other platform I tried to fix.

Yeah, that color scheme crashed every other platform I tried to fix. Yeah, that was the test. That was a test whether it could hold the thoughts of Jojo Skies. Like, you put in the color scheme, and this is the one that survives. So it's like, all right, now you will be blessed with my output. Do you think that, like, in Jojo Skies' heart of hearts, Do you think that in Jojo Skye's heart of hearts, because he projects a very certainty, like an extreme certainty. Do you think that Jojo Skye's is actually that certain?

Or is it just a mind sort of mashing around on a keyboard and this is the output? I would guess that he has a sort of confident charisma. You think JoJo's charismatic? In person, I think he might be. I think you would never know if you met him in real life that he posts like this. He's a hell of a...

Oh, no. Well, okay, maybe you'd be able to guess. Maybe there'd be some tells, but, like... It wouldn't be, like, totally normal. So I looked at the... You were talking about it. So I looked at the... You want to talk about feet? So I looked at the blog spot that he set up, and he definitely made another post on there

while the forum was going. In like a check me out on SoundCloud kind of way? No, like he just came in and posted a Christian poem. Okay, okay. And like in 2017, and the forum had been going for since

2015, so this is two years after that. I mean, a gift to the world, yeah. The man's got content. Yeah, he's got a youtube channel uh that i recommend the listener check out yeah he wages and again on on phase on phase like we found his youtube channel uh he's definitely got like one video like like we're one view like per video and it's like videos of like his feet or like videos of him watching gay porn and like the fact that the fact that nobody

has watched any of these doesn't doesn't affect him at all no it doesn't that doesn't matter some of the video titles contain like my artwork by joe olickson uh which which is the other name that came up in that one post. Okay, okay. So the other person he was referring to in that post is also him. Okay, yeah, yeah. And if you're looking for content, you can go to BALP. That's B-A-L-P dot I-T. We got some long threads. There is some long threads.

Our longest thread is related to nothing. I like this picture, which is currently... Let's see, what is it currently up to? 834 pages. Okay, so it's got 12,508 replies. Not too bad, but you know,

pales in comparison. We should let the bots on the ball pit. Yeah! We've tried very hard to not let the bots on the ball pit. Yeah! We've tried very hard to not let the bots on the ball pit. It's been an annoying constant effort to not let the bots on the ball pit. Oh, God, yeah. If you want to register our ball pit,

well, try it, and maybe we fix the bot problem, then you can. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I like to post just the letter P at the same time as my friends until they crash the forums. Yeah. Okay, now that's a reference.

Bye! Have fun trimming that out. Okay, Jack Chick, is there anything you want to say? Yeah, I want to apologize to all of the listeners to this podcast. I said that the song I Come Blood from the band Cannibal Corpse was on the Bloodthirst album. Clearly, it is track two on Tomb of the Mutilated in between Hammer's smashed face and Addicted to Vaginal Skin. I'm very sorry. That's enough. That's enough. I'm very sorry

for this misrepresentation. Somebody confiscate this man's face paint. It's called coarse paint boots. They don't wear coarse paint for cannibal crimes. Okay, you can get it. No, absolutely not.