The F Plus - 45: It's Only Supernatural

Episode Date: April 29, 2011

For those unfamiliar with it, Supernatural is a television show about two hunky guys who fight monsters. Pulling from The CW's demographic of sexually frustrated young women with disposable income, it's a show with a fan base of a surprising number of pervy women who want to see the two hunky guys do it with each other. You'd think these women would be deterred by the fact that the hunky guys are actually brothers, but apparently that makes it better. This week, The F Plus looks at Wincesters until we reach for our Winchesters.

This is the story of two straight men. They're straight, they swear, except for when. They mean each other, and Jared's so pretty, and so is Jen. So they can't really help it, but here it goes, you guys. Here's my love story. Jared's got this girlfriend, and he likes her, sure he does Cause she's a girl And hey, he loves girls And his dogs and candy And Jensen

Because Jensen and Jared are in love Don't try to deny their epic romance. Jensen and Jared are in love. Even Kripke can see, which is why he puts all kinds of hella awesome sexual tension into his show, even though the characters are brothers. Hey there, welcome to the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things, right off enthusiasm.

My name's Lemon. And I'm John. And, uh, John, you ever seen the TV show Supernatural? Hell no. Yeah, me neither. Um, but, uh, I know something about their fans. Really? Yeah, yeah.

So we've done – a long time ago we did that Twilight episode. Do you remember that? Oh, I do. Yeah, so you need to take that kind of weird sort of sexually confused incubation period. And then in the words of Marvel Comics, injected with gamma radiation. So this is the Hulk of fandoms, I'm taking it. Yeah, this is the Hulk of fandoms. This is the Hulk except for it has boils.

And there's a dog, and the dog is doing unfortunate things to it. Yeah, this – That was a really bad comic. Yeah, it really was. The content we have here is even by F-plus standards, not for the faint of heart. See, that's interesting though because I haven't really – I haven't watched Supernatural as I said. But from what I heard – from what I've heard, it's just basically pretty people fighting demons, which is like every other WB show. Yeah. So do we – why this?

Why – what? What's going on? Why? My theory is that it's got hunky guys. Again, like Twilight. It's got hunky guys. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are they brothers?

They are brothers. Oh, goddammit. Never mind. I get it. Yeah, yeah. Now we're on the same page. Damn you, internet. All right.

Well, what follows is a good 50 minutes, and you're going to be worse for knowing it. Here we go. Let's get to the reader. Enjoy. Yes. In the room tonight, we have Boots Reingear. It is widely accepted fan-in that Jared Padalecki has a very large penis. It is known by a number

of nicknames, such as Cockzilla or Jared's ginormous peen. Bump Girl. Dewgong. Manatee. Seacow. And Cock. Together a lust. Bunny Bread. Oh, sir, I couldn't hear you over the sound of my dick

It's too big John I live in a world where bestiality is accepted as normal Jack Chick I've literally been eating Fritos this entire time To wash away the pain Cortex Okay I give up

Where's the fic where John turns into Triceratops And Bunny Bread captures him and puts him in Jurassic Park So hot And Lemon I'm looking for give up. Where's the fic where John turns into Triceratops and Buddy Bird captures him and puts him in Jurassic Park? So hot. And Lemon. I'm looking for... I can write that. Got a pair of beat-up boots and they've always served you well The heels they pound the graveyard ground like somberlands of Chapel Bell Their leather tongues are flapping full of stories they could tell

Solid souls know all the words to every ballad of farewell Definition Wincest is the term commonly used to describe fanfiction or other fanworks that depict or assume a romantic or sexual, i.e., slash, relationship between Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester. It is the most popular pairing in supernatural fandom. The most popular pairing is brothers fucking each other. You're sounding so technical.

Technical? Let me tell you. The word is a... Wincest, in case you'd forgotten. The word is a portmanteau of brother's last name, Winchester, and the word incest. Oh, no shit! Oh, that makes so much sense now.

Wait, I don't get it. Wincest is also commonly used as interchangeable with Sam slash Dean or Dean slash Sam when describing a fanfic pairing. What's the difference? I would assume it's top-bottom relationships. Yeah, that's what my guess is. Oh, I thought maybe it was like whether you preferred them to be alphabetically or numerically similar. Finally, in case you were wondering, but I really like that, what should I call myself? Fans of Wincest occasionally refer to themselves as Wincesters.

All right, now that we have that figured out, we're going to start in here with Supernatural Story Finders. Basically, this is a site where if you've read a Supernatural fan fiction in the past, but you can't find any more, you post here, and then sort of explain the story that you're looking for. I'm looking for a story I read quite a while ago, but I don't remember where. It started off with Jensen meeting Jared for an interview. Jensen was a food critic, and Jared a chef chef who had won a TV contest like Top Chef. Jensen was not too happy about the interview but ended up

liking Jared and his cooking. Alright. That was hard. These are all about the actual actors too so you can just keep that in mind when you're reading all these. Terrific. Bumgirl? I'm looking for a J2 apocalyptic future fic where Jensen

is a bounty hunter assassin and Jared is a rich kid. His dad owns some sort of corporation which he's paid to save from being killed. Some crime boss assassinated Jared's dad and now he wants revenge so he stays with Jensen

to learn how to become a bounty hunter assassin. Hello, I am the CEO of some sort of corporation. I own the well-known food place. Buddy Red? I was hoping

that all of you wonderful people out there could help me locate some stories where Jared is either physically challenged or disfigured in some way. I don't care what his condition is. You know, paralyzed from a car crash, cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy,

spine and bifida, deaf, blind, burned scars on his body or spatially disfigured or anything along those lines. Or maybe all of them. Please, God. Or if he was born that way, or if it was caused by an accident later in life, he could be in a wheelchair and need braces

on his legs, or other assistant walking devices. Oh God, my cock. He could be confident about himself despite his challenges. He is so brave. Or he can be incredibly insecure and shy. Doesn't matter. All I ask is that he doesn't have autism.

Because that's his shit. Fantastic. Definitely wouldn't want to have sex with you either. Why that specifically? Well, wait. There's more. Continue. All athletes that have autism or other disorders along those lines.

I work with kids with autism so those stories can be like a bit hard to read but making light of other people's being deaf and blind I also don't really care what Jensen's role is or how

he and Jared meet so long as the two of them end up together at the end prefer NC-17 endings at least, but I don't take whatever you guys have. I'm gonna jizz no matter what you do. They held hands? Fuck it, good enough. I think I'd go ahead and try the female version of my fat voice, so

I'll give this a go. Esting. Hey guys, don't ask where this craving came from. I don't know. But my mind got to wandering, and I wondered if there were any tricks out there where the boys are coming back from hiatus or break or whatever, obviously coming in off different flights, and one catches wind that the other's plane went down.

No death fix. I want a happy ending. Maybe Jensen actually flew home early. Maybe Jared missed his flight, whatever. I just want that gut-wrenching angst and disbelief and the happy ending to make it all better. Heck, even if it's just a nightmare and nothing really happened to make it all better. Heck, even if it's just a nightmare and nothing really happened, I'll take it. I'll be...

Yeah, I can't get off unless someone's terrified that their friend is dead. Like... Not just a friend. Don't ask me how this started. I was wondering if there were any stories Where Jensen is a cat person And Jared is a dog person

And somehow this is a complication in their relationship That's the hottest thing ever I'm sorry I'm not really into dogs I like cats This is amazing This is the best story I've ever read. I don't know why, but I just pictured someone running through a strip mall and at every store

just opening the door and asking that. Popping into Subway. I was wondering if there was... I'm looking for a fic and I can't find it. I think that Jared was a dragon or something like that.

And Jensen was his rider. Don't remember the author or anything more. I think that Jared was like a shapeshifter or something like that. Thank you every grandma trying to buy a video game for her kids. There was a

dragon and there was like a man and he had a gun and I don't know. That's how my dad explains the last movie that he saw. He was trying to tell me the plot of Fahrenheit 451. He was like, there's a, oh, this guy drove around in like a fire

engine. Maybe it was a dragon he was driving in. Maybe it was a shapeshifter or something like that. But he can only shapeshift into a fat guy. Vortex? I'd really like to read some J2 stories in which

either Jared or Jensen has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Multiple personalities. Again, super hot. Hey, you know, I'm your biggest fan. I wrote a story where you fuck your co-star and you have multiple personalities.

This is the personality that's really creeped out by you now. No, that's a really hot fantasy because it turns any twosome into a foursome. Any fix where the pair is kissing in the rain or sex in the rain?

I'm looking for rain fix. It's a term. It's an established term. It's fix with rain. What about fix that feature the singer Rain in the rain? That's probably R2 or something. Oh, sure, sure.

This can be J2, Jeff Jensen, or Wincest. What about rain fucking other rain? As long as there's rain. What's J2? J2 is the two actors fucking each other.

Because their names are Jensen and Jared. Who's Jeff? Jeff is not an official J. J2 is the two actors fucking each other. Okay. Because their names are Jensen and Jared. Wait, what's... Who's Jeff? Jeff is not an official J. Yeah, I think Jeff is one of their co-stars. I'm kind of glad I don't have to read the next one, because I don't think I'd be able to read the first one. This next one's pretty good.

Holy shit. Jensen was pregnant with Jared Baby. Baby. Baby in bar, maybe. I Do our luck, Justice. Jensen was pregnant with Jared Baby. Baby. Baby in bar, maybe. I'm not sure about it. When they were kids, they were in some kind of program held by JDM. And now, as an adult, none of them was never sick. I think at one point they meet one of the nurse who took care of them when they were little.

That's all I remember. I hope you can help me, Smiley. I don't think I can, lady. There's not one damn thing we can do for you. Nope, you're gonna be like this forever. Okay, I give up. Does anyone know the title of

the story where Sam is turned into a sea cucumber? I am requesting any and all allergic Dean and Jensen fix that you all know. I am after one, if particular, where Jensen eats a piece of kiwi and almost dies. Number two. Oh, that was just. I am also looking for any Jensen and cat stories.

Also looking for any Jensen and cat stories. Whether he had a pet cat or can turn into a cat, just want some. I am odd, I know. Thanks, guys. Oh, dear. She's pretty wacky. Looking for any stories where Sam or Dean or Jensen or Jared has an allergic reaction to peanut butter or, well, anything else, anaphylactic shock would be good.

That's my new life motto. Oh yeah, baby. Your mouth foaming over is so hot. Then there's this right here. This Jensen-Jared drinking Jared's milk.

Yeah, so this is the kink meme where people request kinky stories that they want written. Yay. And, yeah, only the first one has comments, but rest assured the rest of the requests had similar comments on them. When Jensen is tired and stressed from filming all the time, there's only one thing to do when comes Friday evening. Relax by drinking Jared's milk. I don't like this commercial. Yep. After many months of Jensen just sucking Jared's nipples to relax,

Jared's starting producing milk. At first, it was not a lot. What? Is that how that works? So you just suck a nipple until milk comes out? Yeah, that's how it works. Sure. At first it was not a lot, but now he can feed Jensen for the whole weekend when it is necessary. The boys are not ashamed at all, and when their friend Steve and Chris visit, they don't stop and Jensen eats in front of them until he falls asleep. Jared signs, his mouth still on his nipples

but finally satiated. Oh, gross. So cute. No, it isn't. That's what it meant. Not gross. I'm going to be the first comment. All right.

Ah! Second! Need this. right. Ah! Second! Need this! Yes! Yes! Need! Please! Should not want, but do want!

I know! Me too! Is someone going to write this? Damn it! Lol! All right, Portex. Request. J2. Hooker! Exclamation point Jared.

And Preg. Jared is a hooker. Jensen is a rich and lonely guy looking for a nice piece of ass. Can they get along in the suburb? This week on Fox. It's winter. Will Jared be able to make enough money and time to give birth in the motel room?

It's M-Preg. You guys need to read the headers for all these. I'm a male pregnant hooker. I don't see any problem with this. Let's go. That's a nice piece of ass, right? This is perfectly legit. Assuming that you know the answer to this, when there's an exclamation point in a tag,

what does that mean? That is just fangirl terminology that's just like the prefix. Personality aspect. Person. It's like a prefix. They want to see Jared as a hooker, so it's Hooker Jared. But since the concept behind the exclamation point is that you're so excited about the identifier that you're kind of yelling it.

Yeah, so it's like Hooker Jared. Oh. Yeah. See, you feel free to read it that way. Hooker Jared, and that's such a great idea. Yeah. Request. J2.

Dom Jared. Bondage. Dubcon. Gang bang. Reluctant sub Jensen. Okay. Jared is the genie in the lamp that Jensen picked up at the yard sale. Jensen knows that he gets three wishes, but he doesn't know that this

lamb's wishes are special. Every wish has sexy consequences. I hate this season of Bewitched. What is this? The monkey's paw around your dick? I will explain. Oh, you paid for $1,000 and you got it, but it's covered in jizz.

I was thinking more of like a lead. You ain't ever gonna fuck like me. Lollibaba had them 40 thieves and I fucked them all. By way of example, should Jensen wish for say riches, A way of example, should Jensen wish for Say Riches, he would wake mid-filming as the main feature in the highest grossing bondage gay porn series on the market. Yeah. Because if anything will make you a millionaire,

it's bondage gay porn. Right. The highest selling bondage. How do you think George Clooney got started? No, no, no. That's how Bill Gates got his riches then he did the Microsoft thing on the side

starring and not selling sorry I'm keeping that voice for some reason Lemon is that shattering your suspension disbelief for this is the fact that Warren isn't making enough money no I'm just angry because of all of the bondage gay porn I've starred in, I've still not turned

into a millionaire yet. If you were to wish for a promotion at work, Jensen could wake up to find himself gagged and tied over his boss's desk, getting prepped for a vigorous fucking... Why would that happen?

Okay, whatever. Have you ever even had a job? I have. I've never gotten a raise, I guess. Jared is most pleased that Jensen is the current master of the lamp. He is just gorgeous, and after Jensen exhausts his wishes, Jared gets to keep Jensen as his reward. wishes, Jared gets to keep Jensen as his reward.

Jensen will look lovely in the gold cuffs Jared has been saving for such an occasion. Are you sure he will? That's cute, yeah. It is, because I said so. Okay, you're right.

Bump girl? So nah. Yeah, you get this one. Request! Jared slash jensen fuck furniture jared that is absolutely my trigger word I have not had a heart on this all reading

until now when you said fuck furniture it's hyphenated wait there's a better there's a better hyphenated. Wait, there's a better hyphenated word. I really want to see the Ikea directions for that. Jared is the proud owner of a human

fuck furniture store. As opposed to a beleaguered one. Oh god, William's passed down to me. I'm really not proud of it. Oh, God. That was the working title of Human Centipede. Jensen is his latest new object

and the most magnificent piece of furniture he ever had on sale. Question is, will he sell Jensen? Or will he fall in love with his sofa or whatever the fuck it is I'm looking at? Fuck furniture. Human fuck furniture.

Distinguished from, you know, the Liger fuck furniture out there. That's a little sexier, you gotta admit. Why is human fuck furniture, furniture like why is all three words hyphenated into one big word like what does that mean because it's such a comment right next door it makes me think of like a reporter instead of saying like that's a case of man bites dog that's a case of human fuck furniture let's consider all the iterations if it was human fuck furniture that would be weird

if it was human fuck furniture maybe that's a bit more okay fine I'll google it funny bread jensen jared pool balls insertion and then bursting jensen isrett, full balls and sensation and then bursting.

Jensen is filled with pool balls that he has to pass them around to a normal day. Every now and then, he gives birth to one ball in the pre-kits of Jarrett, but without his health, right? Plus, he's got of morning one birth, and how Jesse feels having all the balls in him. Edith, you knucklehead. Is that like, you know, just

nine ball, or like a full 15 balls of eight ball? I'm going to assume the more the better. That's probably a good rule. Oh, jeez, there, Edith. You're killing my boner. So, when he's in the presence of Jared and he's giving birth, would he know

when Jared would want him to? Would they have a cue? That's up to you as the fanfic writer. You talk about it. It's like the safe word thing. What should be the cue for me to... I would love to see someone write something like that. She's like, no, wrong. Holy shit, there are a lot of these.

You're right. I just love the points for having the description of all the balls in them. It's like, how does it feel? It feels like I have a bunch of pool balls in my ass. Ooh, hot. All right. J2, Harley Sadie, body swap. For any reason, J2 switched bodies, Sadie Body swap For any reason

J2 switched bodies with Jared's dog Jensen then ends up in Harley's body And Jared and Sadie's The dogs, now in the bodies of the boys respectively Start to do dog things Like walking on their hands and knees Drinking from the dog bowl Sniffing their butts, etc

The dogs get horny And start to breed while they're still human. J2 are shocked to watch themselves fucking each other. Maybe the dogs were outside home on the... Oh, fuck. That's a difficult sentence. Maybe the dogs

were outside home when the body swap happens, so J2, as dogs, are unable to do anything to stop the dogs. You figure out the details. Any kinks, except for scat. Because then that would just be disgusting. That would be just disgusting.

Dog men fucking, that's cool. Scat, ew. Request J2, girl Jensen slash personal massager, non-con forced orgasm, over sensitivity slash torture, H slash C. Girl Jensen is crime boss Jared's visibly pregnant wife. She is kidnapped by a rival gang that is trying to get information

on Jared's current business dealings and to have Jared ransom her to get her back. They're not monsters, so they're not going to hurt a pregnant lady unless they have to, just to get some information. So they tie Jensen down to a bed, tying a vibrating wand slash massager to her glint and forcing her to come repeatedly offering to make it stop if she will tell him what they want to know rival gang boss jdm is entranced watching

the glowingly pregnant jensen begging and coming jared kills him extra hard fear perving on his wife when he rides to the rescue. On a white horse. That guy has seen all the Saw movies dozens of times. Loves all of them. What makes you say that? Oh, right. This is a bad one.

Dirt is the chosen toilet for whoever comes in the house. He can be treated as normal or not when people aren't using him, but everyone takes for granted that he will swallow whatever is given to him. No non-con,

please. That would be only a consensual testimony. Oh! Jared, I'm only going to give you this pee if you want it. Do you want it? Sometimes I feel like you don't want me to use you as a human toilet.

What happened to you? I used to be all about drinking my pee. Request. Incubus. X, Y, Jensen. Slash OMC's pseudo non-kong gangbang. Pseudo non-consensual. Surprise! Yeah. I actually consensual. I don't know how I feel about this. Jensen is an incubus who is in the form of a beautiful twink and lets himself get caught by a group of homophobic rednecks. He drains his would-be rapists slowly all night.

caught by a group of homophobic rednecks. He drains his would-be rapist slowly all night, puts on a show with lots of crying and begging, which amps up their sexual frenzy until he gets bored with the act and fucks them to death. Slash drains him dry. Okay. Oh, I see. I'm bored with this rave. Time to rape you back.

That'll show you that rape is wrong. I'd like to request Jensen Pet. Jared. Jensen Pet slash Jared. Okay, whatever. Yeah, something like that. I'm confused.

Jensen is a waiter at dinner, and he thinks he's seen it all. A waiter at a dinner. A waiter at a dinner. Yeah. To somebody's dinner, he walks in. Can I help you? Go away. Who are you dinner, he walks in. Can I help you? Go away! Who are you?

He's off-duty. Exactly. He needs practice. From the guy who practically dates his crab cakes, obsessed much, to the couple who always seem to bring in someone new, never the same person

twice. He secretly thinks they're vampires, but has no proof. Okay. Then one day, a tall stranger walks in, and he can't keep his eyes off Jensen. After a long day, Jensen starts walking to his car and feels the wind of

the baseball bat that knocks him out. He doesn't feel the bat. Just the air around it. Later, he wakes up in a strange room and finds out that he's supposed to be the tall stranger from the dinner's pet slash slave.

He isn't happy about it. Why not? Dubcon! Any kinks you want. Go nuts with the kinks. Obeseality and no underage. Otherwise, go wild. Oh, well, fuck it then. God damn it.

You say that, but I had to look past a bunch of requests for, like, child porn. It's just like, God, it just had so many. I don't doubt it. The TKs are both cheats. Yeah, no, it would be things like one of them is the other one. No, I don't doubt it. The two J's are both cheats. No, it would be things like one of them is the other one.

I don't want to know. Why do I have to be the only one who suffers? So you were inspired by Supernatural, if that's what you're saying. Bumgirl? Oh, Lord. Jared slash OMC's

non-con gangbang. This person wants middle of sentence jump right in. Just Jared getting raped by multiple men. Setting and how it happens is up to author. I just want filthy, rough sex with possible DP, fucked from both ends, with objects,

coming in ass and mouth, and anywhere really, and lots of dirty talk. Gritty face, please grant me this. Just no water lots of dirty talk. Gritty face. Please grant me this. Just no water sports or scat kittings. I did not add anything to that. That's unfortunate. Here. Yeah.

Dog. Jensen. X. Jared. Beast. Transformation. Nodding. dog, Judson, X, Jared, beastie, all-an-igity, transformation, nodding. We're gonna get a merit badge at the end of this. Yeah. Nice. Judson the dog, cursed, transformed,

always a dog, right? God damn it. Is given to, adopted, found by Jared, and fucks him. I'd like lots of focus on the build-up to the fucking or the aftermath. Me too. Sorry.

No, no, please. I like that it's not particularly clear on what is fucking what there. I want dicks somewhere in other dicks. I'm pretty sure it's dog on man. Dog is given to... Man bites dog. Yeah, because it's just the

ex-Jared. Yeah. Okay, you're right. Oh, okay. So, okay. So, just the dog is fucking Jared. And the fucking and the dog is the fucking and, you know, whatnot. Dog's daddy here. Jared's guilt, shame, and disgust.

Angsty Jared is the best kind. But a happy ending, you know? Not all angst. Just a good dose. Oh, that disgust. Angsty Jared is the best kind, but a happy ending, you know? Not all angst, just a good dose. Oh, that's nice. I like a happy ending with a dog. As do we all. That's how I always read Peanuts comics, you know? Oh dear.

Request J2 pretended Mpreg with object insertion just found this vid and am

craving a fic about something like that where one of the guys gives birth to a baby doll was inserted earlier

oh good that's lovely congratulations it's a talking Tina Good. That's lovely. Congratulations. It's a talking Tina. Tina. I don't like these stories. Okay. Request.

Jensen slash Harley, Voyeur, Jared, Bestiality. Jensen is a dog walker for one reason only he likes the dogs to fuck him it is a french benefit okay i'm in jared needs a dog walker for a few weeks since he's broke his leg and can't get around much it's up to to Arthur how Jared catches what Jensen is really up to with his dog. I'm just going to assume that all the dog fucking and fucking ones are requested by the same person.

If they're requested by the same person, then the same person is requesting honest to Christ, hundreds and hundreds of... Maybe he got his dog to help him. There were so fucking many of the ones where the dogs were fucking people. It was insane.

And the dogs aren't even in the show or anything. There's no dogs in the show. And that's an oversight that the author oversight That the author Whatever the fuck his name is Yeah Kripke is going to be Oh you know what

That's the challenge I know One of them can be a dog walker And the other one has a dog Well home go How come you're a dog walker The pay doesn't seem very good Somebody here has something wonderful to read This is a request dog walker. Yeah. How come you're a dog walker? The pay doesn't seem very good. Well,

somebody, somebody here has something wonderful to read. This is a request. Jared slash Jensen, infantilism, daddy kink, D slash S. Oh,

they're going to play video games. Yes. Plugs slash gags slash clamps, spanking. Oh, okay. lost in the forest young goldilocks or jensen to his friends stumbles into the first house he's seen in days jensen is exhausted and hungry so he eats some of the food that he find in the house and lays down for a nap in one of the bedrooms and seems to be decorated for someone around his age. Well, really younger, but the bed is... Sorry.

Yeah. Really younger, but the bed eye is just right. The bed is... Return of the bed eye. Jensen figures that he will apologize for his trespass when he wakes up and the owner... S... Of the house get home.

When Jensen wakes up, he finds himself tied to the bed and gagged with someone petting his hair. When the man notices that Jensen is awake, he says that his name is Daddy. Well, Jared, but Daddy should be called Daddy. Daddy's been looking for a new baby to take care of, and Jensen is just perfect! And the comment,

Goldilocks? Giggles. That's priceless. Second hit! That's priceless second it that's priceless so precious that's genius alright then we got a couple quotes from fanfic we'll do this until

we stop until one of us puts the gun in our mouths first fatality we'll stop reading when you hear the bang, we're done. Isn't this the best fandom? Doesn't this make Twilight fans look... It really makes them look, yeah,

nice and wonderful people that you'd want to talk to. All right. Let's start us off. Dean's first idea is to crawl over Sam's fleshy terrain and suck one of Sam's nipples into his mouth, and Sam knows from the first few shocked, horrified glimpses that his nipples are now huge. The areola is a hand span across, the nipples themselves

like doorknobs. Well done, Dean! I don't know. Yeah, I don't understand. Is his chest just a nipple Venn diagram now? The overlap? The polygons are kind of clipping through each other.

Really bad coding on this. Sam reaches behind him and touches his fingers to the wet patch on his back, just above the waistband of Sam's pajama pants. He brings his fingers up to his mouth and looks tentatively at the sticky fluid. A taste like nothing Sam had ever experienced explodes on his tongue. A hint of the bitterness of the black coffee, of honey and almond in

summer, and most of all, Dean. It reminds him of earth, love, and sin. Wow! What do you eat to get your cum to taste like that? Flavored cum, yeah. Willy Wonka's everlasting cum stopper.

I stuck my dick into some chai tea. We are the music makers, and we are the destroyers of your dream. Dean lets himself look at the bones moving in the back of Sam's hands as he types, moves the little pointer pad thing, the muscle moving in his jaw as he fucking grinds his teeth. Dean looks hard because sometimes when you're

heading out on the interstate, you need to fill up your bladder so you got plenty to piss out before the long haul. It's like that. Wait, what? Oh, it's like that. I didn't understand any of that, but I guess it's like that.

Yeah, if there's anything I want to have when I'm starting a road trip, it's a full bladder. Yeah, yeah. That starts things off right. His heart's so high up in his throat, beating out like someone jammed a bird in there, and he's choking on it. Oh, yeah. What happened to your snib, Jim? What happened to your brother? Oh, yeah! What happened to your snub, Jim? What happened to your brother? Oh, God.

You may not need to read after this, because I think I'm pretty much... Oh, who's the lucky duck? Oh, God. Wow. Alright. Well, you... On the fifth day, Sam Winchester fucked his brother. That was good. God thought about objecting, but Dean Winchester

seemed pretty happy with the arrangement and God decided that he could overlook a little incest now that the world wasn't ending. Watch this. Their fucking saved the world. He watched proceedings for a short period and may have

rubbed one out in private when Sam took Dean from behind on the hood of the Impala. Bless you. Amen. We have to defend Supernatural fans because the idea of these two brothers fucking is so hot

that God himself is up to it. Apparently. I like how he did it in private though like god is just like oh yeah i got a little bit of shame watching how does an omnipotent person beat off in private as the resident bible scholar you'd have to clean up a hell of a mess

as a resident bible scholar i will now tell you that there are only two things two things that could change God's mind. Moses talking to him, and Sam and Dean having sex. That makes good sense. Onan had the right idea. I shouldn't have gotten onto him about this.

Dean asked Sam once where he learned to suck dick like that. Sam just cocked his head to the side, a smirk stretching on his lips. He opened his mouth as if he were going to answer, but then just leaned forward and swallowed down Dean's entire dick. Fake out. I always, I've

loved this for years, but I love the word dick in erotica. It's the un-hottest word. It really is, yeah. It's like snatch. Gash. I'll take the one that Lemon skipped over. Oh, all right, if you want it, sure.

Sam Winchester's journey of Self-Exploration. A coming-of-age tale that combines looks at his childhood with his burgeoning crush on his older brother and his ever-increasing penchant for water sports. This summer. In theaters now. I would love it if sometimes Sammy gets his hole praised outside of a sexual context, like maybe if he just needs

tearing up in general. What? When we say hole, we, okay. Wait. Hey, nice anus. Yeah. That's what that means, right? Yeah. Yeah. Don't be sad.

You've got the best ass. Yeah, who's got the cutest right? Yeah. Don't be sad. You've got the best ass. Who's got the cutest face? I love your urethra. No, I know you're feeling down, but I also... I know you're in sexual context, too. So it's like, you've got a good ass for shitting.

For shitting! No, I know you're feeling down, but I know you've also got the cutest little rosebud down there. All right, you get up there. Come on, dry those tears. Come on, sailor. Boots? I see a smile and a pucker. Dean was laying real still, except for breathing.

Laying with his legs spread out just like Jacob had left them, Sammy stepped closer, wanting to see more. Dean's eyes were mostly still shut, and it was almost like Jacob had left them. Sammy stepped closer, wanting to see more. Dean's eyes were mostly still shut, and it was almost like he was really there. Dean's pee-pee and balls were... Now, what were you saying about dick being an erotic word? Because I think...

I didn't think anyone would actually put pee-pee in smut. Why are you laughing at my story? There's no story. It's good smut, Boots. It's really good smut. We're really hard.

I'm jealous about that hard little pee-pee. Boots, Boots, show us your anus. Who's got the cutest anus? Let's see your stinker. Come on now. Who's got the best stinker? You almost thought I was going to cheer me up, Jack Chick. Now, what was that about Dean's pee-pee and balls?

Dean's pee-pee and balls were covered with something shiny, like they had been buttered. And they were! Uh-oh. What is happening? Don't read ahead, just read ahead. Wow, that's really good. Dean, who's only slightly overweight himself, watches his morbidly obese son

waddling with difficulty from the fridge to the couch. Somehow aroused by this. He's as surprised as you are, folks folks what the hell is that doing hello because i should be the first best swimmer in the world jared tells him pulling on his sweatpants i know i could do it but there's something holding me back he scratches under his waistband and wonders if Jensen will get it because it's the sort of intimate concern. But Jensen just lifts an eyebrow at him. Somebody hanging on your ankles when you're in the pool? Jared sits down heavily on the end of his bed.

I train all the time. I see you everywhere. But I'm still not as streamlined as the other guys. My parts didn't stick out more. I don't know what you mean. He doesn't want to look up because Jensen might be laughing at him. But when there's complete silence, he sort of has to. What do you mean?

Jensen asks quietly, and Jared's stomach twists. Jensen looks almost angry, although Jared can't see what Jensen would have to be angry about. My dick! Jared blurts. I mean, my dick's too big! My dick's too big! My dick's too big to box with God. Dick's too big!

Just attach a fin to it. Okay. Bear with me on this. All right. It's a world where bestiality is accepted as normal. Okay. Jensen is set up with Harley on a website, petmatch.com,

maybe then goes out on a date with him, with Jared along as the chaperone. Normal date or two, maybe Jensen brings presents for Harley, then Jared helps them consummate their relationship. Okay. Jensen can be new to dogs or an old hand, perhaps having just gotten out of a long-term relationship.

With a dog. That's what that means. My last boyfriend. He had to put his wife to sleep. All right, I am not man enough to read that means. My last boyfriend. He had to put his wife to sleep. Alright, I am not man enough to read that sentence. If anyone else thinks they can make funny out of it, I'm skipping it. Alright. Alright, well, I can keep going.

I can just go to the next one. Oh, alright. Yeah, go for it. Enjoy. When he turns round, he can see his own cum start to seep from Jensen's ass. Sticky dribbles trickling down the man's crack onto his balls. It's almost charming. Almost. Just picture him with a

pipe like, hmm, interesting. Here's my story. Here's my story. Okay. Jared and Jensen are cavemen and they're gay and they're gay cavemen and the other cavemen beat them up for being gay. Please don't have them speak English or anything. I want their angst to be expressed through actions and primitive language

like grunts. Stop laughing! Stop crying! No! Gay cavemen story! We're jerking off. We're not laughing. It just sounds strange. Oog think Ogg have good butthole.

Why does it have to be like the actors if they're just cavemen and they're not even talking? Maybe someone from the BC comic fanfic community got lost on the way here. And the fat broad can show up and they can talk about Jesus?

This is a gentle and delicately handled tale of a businessman Jensen falling for Jared, his mentally challenged gardener, loosely based on the film Tim. Okay. I wrote you as a retarded gardener fucking your co-star.

You're welcome. Happy birthday. All right, and poor text, the last one. J2 historical alternate universe. Jared is a rising star in German politics, and Jensen is a secret mistress. That's how mistress works. Does their relationship have a future,

or will they be ripped apart by the pressures of society? Warning, AU, where Germany wins World War II. Of course. Wait, what? What? What? What? Why? What? Why is that only a footnote?

We all know what really happened. Ooh, they have sex and it's very kinky and, well, they're political stuff. Oh, also, the Nazis won. Wait, wait, wait, wait a second. Why is that important? Because, well, there's actually, there were a lot of requests where it was just like, I want to see one of them as a Nazi and he's torturing his co-star

because that would be cute. And so I'm sure that's what that's about. All right. Oh, Jesus. Thanks, poor Tex. Yeah, well. We're all a little bit worse off. I can make it moderately worse.

I've figured out who Harley and Sadie are. They're actually Jared Padalecki's dogs. Yeah, his actual dog. So his fans want him and his co-star to fuck his real dogs. Or get fucked by his real dogs. Yeah, get fucked by. It's always get fucked by. Yeah.

That makes it okay. Yeah, get fucked by. It's always get fucked by. Yeah. That makes it okay. Oh, well, there was that. Oh, John, what did you learn? Well, I wanted to go over all the things I learned that I didn't want to. We'd be here all night.

But let's go over something slightly innocuous that I learned, which is that people on the internet are fucking lazy like on those story summaries no seriously on those story summaries it's like hey i'd like to request this and then they lay out every single plot point and everything a character does they're like if you could write that thanks and it's like you just wrote it just add twice the words and you've got the story why you'd be such a lame ass yeah that is true i mean if you're if you're a if you're a weird pervert and you're into this shit write it this is apparently all you have why not at least try some craft there i mean that's that's one of the detriments that come from having really strange kink is that if you have strange kink then you have to seek out your own market you have to put a little bit of

fucking effort into it it's supposed to be a little bit more complicated than just going hey weird weird weird girls please write this for me also on a personal side note when I just finished working a retail job where people would buy box sets and I've

seen some ladies that bought supernatural box sets and now I know some things that's all i'm gonna say replaying that all back in your mind oh god it's like slow motion flashback and and from my own perspective i've learned that when poor tech says i got a really good topic you're gonna to like a lot. I know what to expect. The website is always thefpl.us. And we have stickers. So if you go to the website and email me your address, I will send you stickers and you'll like them. Yes, and submit. You know, if you find something good, we will definitely do it because, I mean, as this episode shows, no holds are barred here.

We go for it. Yeah, well, that's not true. I mean, some holds are barred, which is to say, after hearing that, can you believe the shit we cut? Until next time, we'll see you soon. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Don't try to deny their epic romance. Jensen and Jared are in love.

As sure as Chad Michael, Mary will have another wife by the end of the year, and she may or may not be of legal drinking age, but that's okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, because we need to sidetrack here for a second. Because I needed a definition for this. Magical healing cock. The magical healing cock is a fanfic trope that's probably been around since Kirk and Spock were first slashed.

It refers to a trope where one character is either emotionally or physically injured, but all is healed, metaphorically, when they have sex. Often found in hurt comfort stories. The trope can occur in any genre of story, although in supernatural fanfiction, it's most often found in Wincest, Dean Castile, or J2 stories. Vaginas generally appear to have less healing qualities.

That's medically accurate.