The F Plus - 55: The Ship Vas Crash Like Boom

Episode Date: July 22, 2011

When you hear the words "bad fiction", there's a lot of different things that might come to mind. Perhaps you think of the works of completely inept but infuriatingly popular writers like Dan Brown or Danielle Steel. And one day, we'll get to writers like those. But for now, we have Storyprovider - a Finnish fanfic writer who, in a sentence, will misspell as many words as he spells correctly. This week, The F Plus would like to recommend the Army Fried Gyu.

Add story to favorites, add author to favorites. Hey there, this is the F+, Terrible Things Read with Enthusiasm, my name's Lemon. I'm Acer, or whatever. And what we got for you tonight, we're going to provide you some stories. We're going to provide you some stories from a guy named, appropriately enough, Story Provider. Oh, you're talking about that Finnish guy, I think he is?

I really am. Oh, yeah. Let me explain what's going to happen here. Usually, of course, we record these bumpers before we've actually read the pieces, or at least that's the sort of fiction that we like to portray. In this case, this is definitely a bumper recorded afterwards. What we did was we recorded an episode, and then we got kind of drunk, and then we recorded something for the Earwolf Challenge.

Oh, he says kind of drunk, and he's being gentle with the adjectives here. Yeah, yeah. So we did that and then we recorded something for the Earwolf Challenge. But what we ended up with was about an hour of this guy named Story Provider. Story Provider is a fan fiction writer of the caliber that would make Hans von Hosell seem very succinct and understandable. Well, I'm still speechless. It's been a while now, and I've got to say it's just one of those life-changing incidents.

It's pretty incredible, and we don't need to delay any further, so you're about to experience it. Let's get to the readers. In the room tonight we have Bunnybread. Mossus, let my peply goad. Jimmy Franks. Heil Hilter. It's Yakawaddle.

J'ai eu mon revanche, he yelled to the other Nazi guys. Partax. Partax shouted explosions. Boots Reingear. I said, I am boots, rain gear, and I shot Rocket Launcher to Lemon. And Lemon. So give ideas to

Mbox to give ideas, thanks. Alright, uh, you ready to seduce us, Bunny Red? Fuck yes. All right. You ready to seduce us, Bunny Red? Fuck yes. All right. Bring it on. Ready to. I've been seducing throughout the whole night.

Poor Tex. You may want to grab a seat, baby. All right. Yep. We ready? Yeah. All right. Medal of honor. Love story. No, a start over, sexy man.

Oh, shit! Motherfucker! What did I do wrong? You didn't shut up, goddammit, and throw your microphone against the wall. Medal of Hon-Rar. No, no, no, no, I was going to read it both ways. There's two ways to read it.

You're right, I'm sorry. I know how the fuck to seduce you. Sorry, baby, I, no, no. I was going to read it both ways. There's two ways to read it. You're right. I'm sorry. I know how the fuck to seduce here. Sorry, baby. I should have trusted you. Sometimes I get nervous. Medal of Honor. Love story fro ladies. Provided by story provider. Oh, by the way, this is Medal of Honroar.

Love story for ladies. You fix one typo, you have to make another one. Maintain equilibrium. Jack Walker was goes on his home. And it was time when America joined the war of word war tree.

And he was scarred. And page forward around his home. Oh, my. Oh, shit. Oh, no. I must figure soon how can I do it? Oh, no. Oh.

He shot wood in angry. But hi, mom. Say it. You must be browie, my boy. You will help win The Japaneseans Say it to him That's in quotes too

Mom speaks in third person a lot It's the proud people of Japanesia It's part of their diction it's difficult to learn It loses a lot in the translation. He gots the letterar the next day, and he taked it to the Kamnedils to read the light,

and it read that he must go to war to soldier bad guys in Japan. Oh. Yes. Oh, no. Oh, no. I will be shooted. Oh. Yes. Oh, no. Oh, no. I will be shooted. No. That was sexy.

But he had to go because war would begin, son. And he needed. He needed what? He needed space. He needed a lot of space to finish out that whole line. So anyways, he was now in Japan.

And Army Fred Gyu say-ox-a-dit to him to add, how is you? And Jack say-de-back to, I am fine. Bucks can weed wins Japan guys. I'm glad one of our

soldiers finally had that idea. They were all just faffing around. You know, I've always said you've never had proper army fried gyu until you've gone to Japan. But that was odd rares, so he had to do it. Excuse me, he had to do it.

But his plane crashed to jungles because hug rocket hit ensign. Oh, no. Damn. I knew there were weird weapons then, but hug rockets. Yes. Hi, I'm a hug rocket.

Hi, plane. No, you hit my ensign. That's what they meant by military arms. You can't hug with... Oh, fuck hit my ensign! That's what they meant by military arms. You can't hug with... Oh, fuck that joke. I hate that joke. I'm sorry, I started it. Hey, is any om alive?

Jack axed from other guys. But they not ensrar, because they dead. No! Wait, don't worry. So he take mag signSign gun and rocket and knife to fagged Evli guys to win them.

And if they attack, we don't know because we have no idea how long this sentence has been going. There's no way to tell. Stepopee, right there, Jackie guy! Japan, Salierase. And point guns to

at Jack, and to to Toto kill him. But Jack taked the Nevaev too proud to them, and so he killed solder guys. But one was alive. But he killed the solder guys. Solder guys. Solder guys. No, that wouldn't be solder guys, because that would alive. He killed the solder guys.

No, that wouldn't be solder guys because that would be D-I-E. That's how you spell solder. Oh, is that how you spell it? He killed the plumber. And so he killed solder guys but one was alive. I will not fifth again. But not now.

That... What? Yeah, he will not fifth again, but not now. I need another fifth to finish this motherfucking story. So it's like, I'm gonna stop drinking later.

No, I will not stop drinking, but I won't stop drinking right now. I will fifth no more forever. So Jack shooted rockets to bad guy who die, but he shooted more who showed it back. Greta, death, I must hide.

Okay. Monumental. So he go to a way and armies follows from Japan. I loves you. I cannot go to a way and on his followers from Japan I loves you I cannot go to bite a turtle the Japan Jack say in tears of

happy but bite or sweat I don't want to I don't want to interrupt this beautiful thing but you missed a whole paragraph what oh shit you must is it the romantic part because I feel like I'm missing out on the love story it's the romantic part okay Because I feel like I'm missing out on the love story.

It's the romantic part. Okay, good. All right. I must hide to Japan. I must hide to hide from Japan, guys. He say to Piapple of in a village. And they say, come here. So Jack and Triard and eat water and bread. Chew your water carefully.

He makes icicles. And but then saw a woman, so they talk and is attacked. So they has sex and go married. Ladies! Ladies!

Yeah! Oh, there's the part. Yeah! I! Yeah! Oh, there's the J part. Yeah! I loves you! I cannot go to the Japan, Jack say in tears of happy, but biter sweat, and decides

to sated, but Senral, a guy from army, combed to him to say tat. Jack! Jack, Jack, you is directing order. You must help

ooze wins. He sated a game, but Jack was ned. Listens, but angry-rooted back. I love the wife, and I will nor it's leavey. So they began figs to win.

Who wins? Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. The end of Million, One, Million, One. The end wins. Halo, the Christmas Story. Outros note. This is a Ned yurt Christmas

day. Christmas. Damn it. I know. Okay. And it's also is Ned. Alright. Alright. Alright. Stop. Take a drink of beer.

Try it again. One for the money, two for the show. Okay. Halo, the Christmas story. Outro's note. This is Ned, your Christmas day,

but I wanted to write it because if food story, so I had to writ it because if food story. So I had to written. So enjoy. Oh, we will. You heard the band.

I'm already enjoying this shit. Chapter one. Chief fights. Master chef Voss on day goes on space and fig text. Ande goes on space and fig-ticks some covement guys and her vast to trouble because his other human army guys was lay-dayed from laser guns. So he vast to troubles. Die, you evil guys, he yelled in mad, and shoot his guns in bang bang bang he shot his guns into the bang bang bang and but there was too many

covenant pepler so he vast in trouble and he suddenly see the chero which range chero if not hosser and said Isharo which reigns in the years of Goji and not Hosser and said how can's oit be

he said because it was Santa then Santa took the fast shooting gun and aim it at the Covent guy toy kill them and say... Nothing at all!

And say... Pause for a second. Say nothing at all, just quotes with nothing in it. Say quotes. And after evil guy's vat-deaded Master Chief, say to Santa... ...

... Hello, Santa, how can tis be? I thought you Vastorian, not science. Master Choif, say... Because he be Vilder, and coldent be leewd

it. Master Chief, I is not science, but true, and I come to help Yolu to defeatix the bad guy Santa said. And Master Chef said, who's Master Chief? But why, then, Master Chief said? Because

they wants to attack Earth to kill good guts in child. Oh no! Not the aggro crack! Holden, we need kill good guts in child. Oh no! Not the aggro crack! We need some good guts here. Santa and Cirrus bake because he could not gift it so.

Chapter 2. Attack to Covenant So Master Chef and Santa Went to a plan jet Where was alien guys Covenant Pepli And they seed them And yelled to in the same time To Conevant guys that

Evil Aline guys You cannot attack now because it holiday good point that's not that's not a political prove him wrong but they say back in angry ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha shot at their guns to at the master chief and Santa oh no Christmas Santa no shot at their guns to at the Master Chief and Santa. No! Good Christmas, Santa said. Sorry, no. You can do that again. Good Christmas, Santa said, and tooked his laser gun

and fired a alien to his legs who died. Oh, no. There was more and too many. So Master Chief taken fast gun to kill them and shooted his big back Zooka to kill a tank the battle is mine

he says but but Cat Epper 3 Santa dies or oh no oh no I hope we're going on with the or Pepper 3. Santa dies or. Oh no. What?

Oh no. I hope we're going on with the or. Or. There was more figts in the ferret place and ever there was figts and sounds because there was too many cover mad peply who shot to good guys, so Master Chief's army guys, though I did med say before, were with him, were mostly

deaded, but not all, so they shoot pew, pew, pew, and more aliens. Dang. Okay. Okay, brief break, brief break. And take your money. Serious question.

Who are the Covenant guys? The Covenant are the aliens. Those are the bad guys in Halo. They're the Covenants. Oh, okay. Right up until Halo 2, and then one of the Covenant guys goes over to the good guys.

That's more than we care about. All the aliens. That's all you want. They're all squeaky. and then one of the Covenant guys goes over to the good guys, and, well, anyway. That's more than we care about. All the aliens, that's all you want. They're all squeaky cute. And they're big monsters, and they're cute. We don't need to explain this any further. Do you want to hug them? No. Because they're alien monsters.

Portex is making a point here. Portex, please continue. They're cute. And? That's my point. They're cute. Some of the aliens were cute, and they're like, ah, he's going to kill us.

Oh, my God. Did they hug instead, like he's going to kill us! Oh my god. Did they hug instead, like Portex? No, I hugged them. Welcome to the Giant Bomb Podcast. Giant Bomb doesn't point out how cute the aliens are. Sir, you wound me. You're not... You just wish you were

cute like a monster. Besides, look, it's important. You do want to know what happens to Santa, right? I do. Well, okay, you're right. You're right. Okay, let's get back on track here. Santa hides now a machine gun to shoot two enemies so he urts, urts, urts, urts,

urts. To kill Covenant and punch many more, but ten he sawed the feeble boss. Man, your story is rated T. I can't believe you have guys going urt, urt, urt, urt, urt. No, it's the Swedish chef. Urty, urty, urty. Urt, urt, urt.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. You cannot defest me. I kill you to ruined Christmas. The big alien boss sayed to Santa to kill him soon with guns, but Santa shouted back, but they hit each other's guns, who broke them, so they had to boxing! Oh! Common theme in these stories. Yeah, there's a lot of boxing.

When guns don't work, boxing will. There's another common theme coming up here. Now you will die, Santa yelled, and punched Big Covenant Guy to his head and feces. First your head, then your feces. No, you will, the Covenant Guy yelled, and punch a deadly blows to Santa who wounds. No.

No! One Sigma, Master Chief, yelled to Big Alien and flew fast lick torpedo to boss who flew into space. Damn. The Satna oozed to die

nig, but then Master Chief said, what can be done and who is give present now? And Santa cried for a one happy child, but took with last breaths a critsal from pocket to give to Masatar Chief and say, this is the source of power. Sorry, let me try that again. And say? And took a critsal from pocket and gave to Master Chief and say, This is the soos of power! So

Master Chief become the new Santa. Oh. Santa's power became my own. That was a twist. That was a twist I was not expecting. But the old one died, so Master Chief say to the army guys who thus left, give silent moment. So they do, so Master Chief say to the army guys who was left,

give silent moment. So they do, so they do so Santa in peace, and all had tears in eyes. Oh, and I should add that there's a Traptor 5. That was Catapur 3, so logically the next step is

Catapillar 5. It's bad luck to have a chapter 4. Of course. Vortex? All right, chapter 5. Not just chapter 5. Yeah, chapter 5. New Santa?

Ooh. Ha ha ha ha ha. I will kill humans now and make bad Christmas. The boss... I will kill humans now and make bad Christmas. The boss guy said and fired his lasers and my souls to Corva to Nutri with this is what called in Finland, but not in England. But don't know. But the people there was scared. That was confusing for you Don't worry though

But Master Chief was third too Oh okay, now it makes sense Hail new Santa They say so Master Chief punched the codes He got from Santa into Misly defense system So Boss Guy make no damage to Santa's place Well of course

Boss Guy come to ground to fix me Lick man and not cooard Make no damage to Santa's place. Well, of course. Boss guy come to ground to fix me, lick man and not coo-ard. Very well, I will come and kill you. Ha ha ha ha ha. Uh oh. The boss sayed back and teleported to place near Master Chef with guns. The boss turried to kill Master Chief With Rocket But Master Chief shot Strang

Lint-ning And Fireball from hands Boss guy I am new Santa and more power So the boss So the boss Died in scare And all was happy again

So Master Chief could give presents to Pebble scare and all was happy again so master chief could give presents to pebble and so all was happy this is good job he said the end or is it no that's not how that sentence is written sorry the end or is it i want to i want to read to you indian i am i am so gonna be nice because if apparently if you're naughty santa claus is gonna fuck you up oh shit yeah he's fucking serious he'll shoot you and then when the guns stop working he'll punch you So this is Indian Jones fixed the Cthulhu. No, it's not even that.

It's the Cthulhu? It's the Cthulhu. Yeah. Cthulhu, yeah. Cthulhu. There you go. It fights the Cthulhu. It's the Cthulhu. Yeah. Cthulhu. Yeah. Cthulhu. There you go. It fights the station on the internet if you watch TV. The undescribable internet television.

The thing that gets me is he's actually managed to spell it correct the same way all the way through. Okay. So what did we decide on then? It's Cthulhu? Yes. All right. All right. Okay.

I got to remember that pronunciation. And Indian is the same every time, too. Dang. So it's not actually about Indiana Jones. It's about Indian Jones. If Indian Jones talks, then you know what it actually is. Well, no, it's Indian. But, I mean, there's Indian Jonas.

Oh, so there's Indian Jonas and Indian Jones. Indian Jones. And there's John Jones. Indian Jones. Joe News. Indian Joe News. Indian Joe News at five. All right. Indian Jones fights the Cthulhu. On day, Indian Jones

vus fig shits through temple. Which vas bad place were vas snakes Oh, yeah. Oh. Sir. No, he stole the whole estate. What? Oh, you're absolutely right.

My deepest apologies. state. What? Oh, you're absolutely right. My deepest apologies. Give us the state which you take from Camber there, the bad guys say. Who vas Nazi guys? Nazis guys, remember that die

is evil guys. See, I get confused halfway through most of his stories. Nazis are good? Oh, no, no, no. In the movie adaptation when the Nazis come on screen, there's a thing that halfway through most of his stories. Nazis are good? Oh, no, no, no. In the movie adaptation, when the Nazis come on screen, there's a thing that screen frees. Subtitle says, Nazis,

parentheses, the evil guys. For them. It was a golden statue, which was looks good and was costly, so it's Selvel's. He vasn't go into

give it, so, but he has to, or they shoot! No! Oh, no, not the Indian Jonas! Look out! I give it to you! So they took the statue, but Indian

Jones takest the whip and the Nazi guys falled to death for him to shoot them in them I'm gonna shoot you in your yore oh no my vowels so they took the state you one of the worst colleges in history.

Oh no, statuette fall too. I must goes thur too. Indian Joe News was says, so he take the stars to down, but saw more Nazi army guys oh the Nazi guys had machine guns and pointed to

Indian Jones but Indian Johns jump said to other place so they shoot but miss where are's he Nazi guy say and another nays guy was, and nother nays guy vuz agree, and say but news

ver Indian Jones would be go sun. Oh. Freaking cliche plot twist. I know, I'm sorry. We must five go to downs, or he will use the

stat... statui. There you go. We must five go to Downs, or he will use the stat... Stay... Stay... Stay-too-y. There you go. But we must have it to conquer's te-world. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. He says, Lick-Mad. Yeah, I think I would, too. I think.

I'm not sure. The Nazi guys got too. I think. I'm not sure. The Nazi guys got there. Right there. I love it when Nazis got their foot there. Got there before, so they

used the statue, so it became a monster. Oh shit. Yay! Oh shit. Dang. I hug it. What kind of monster it be? It the Cthulhu. Shit.

No. Nazi guys, Vaz yell. But soon, Indian Jones, Vaz's son, Tuther, and Sayid's tat, Nazi goose, you are evils, guys! You must die. Oh no. He saw Ood again, but did net, had two kills, because

Cthulhu was mad like evil and bad. Oh! So these are rad. Cthulhu was mad like evil and bad and stuff. Cthulhu was mad like evil and bad. What? Damn. Nazi guys scrammed Lick Girl

and Vazoon Death's witch-cy was horrible, but Indian Jones take a machine gun from the dead Nazi, and so the Indian Jones shoots at Cthulhu who is dead. The end. And ellipsis question mark. Well, that was kind of disappointing.

What do you mean disappointing? God, it left me on the edge of my seat. Well, how did he find, how did he know Cthulhu's secret weakness to bullets and being shot? Well, it wasn't just bullets. I mean, you don't know what comes out of a machine gun. I think, like, Charlie Sheen or something.

Yeah. Anakim and Obi-Wan meets the Dracula. Anakim and Obi-Wan buzzed clone bars and buzzed big team with clone guys and everywhere was pew pew pew. Because they were shotting battle droids

who buzz attack. That's why it was pew pew pew. Well, makes sense. We must retreat, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Anakin was said and Obavan was say back, no, we must fight. So they take the light swords and was kill more droids guys. Clone guys was soon leaving because battle was bad because droids guys. Clone guys was soon leaving. Because battle was bad.

Because droids was too many. And too strong. And scar. We must escape. We must escapes out of here fastly. Because VR has man power loss. Is that a. Is that a genetic condition?

Is that something that runs in your family? Yeah, you can get pills for that. Yeah. You suffer from manpover loss. Clone trooper guy Joe was say and Everon run to ship and it was soon in flying because it was good ship,

so good shields and good vape-ons, so it not hurted. But then there was... Wait. But then there was malfunction! No! Yeah, that's kind of what I figured. What was the malfunction?

I hope the ship is okay. What happened with the malfunction? Let me explain it in excruciating detail. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. Do it. Te ship vas crash like boom! Oh, shit!

Oh, no. That might be the episode title right there. Yes! After te crash vas Obi-Wan and Anakin vas climb out of ship and vas forest. Yeah, sure. They became trees. It was spook and night and there was scar, but to vote

Jedi guys is not scarred because they had the force so they could block scariness-esses. Oh, I see. Yeah, they had all the to block me. Okay, yeah. Obi-Wan and Anakin was loked at road signs Oh, I see. Yeah, they had oil and volet that blocked me. Okay, yeah. Obavan and Anakim was loked at road signs

and said Transysilvesnia. Wow. Dang. Would you, one more time with that location? Again, they are in Transysilvesnia. Sure. Where is that located?

I think it's somewhere in Romania Valvania If I remember my geography Place, which was castle place, there was guy named Dracula, but that wasn't Earth Transysylvasnia place, which was castle place, there was guy named Dracula, but that wasn't Earth. Transysilvasnia

place, because Star Wars Star Wars, not real life and our galaxy. What? What? What are you talking about? So, how can they be interact... I mean, seriously, come on, it has to be real life here. They got Dracula. No, no, no, okay, this guy is drawing a very clear distinction.

Transylvania, of course, is real place and, and Dracula is real, but Star Wars is a... No, no, no, no. He's saying it's Transylvania, but it's not the Transylvania we know on Earth, because Star Wars does not take place in the real world, so it is a Star Wars canon version of Transylvania. Which has its own version of parallel dimension Dracula? Yes. Okay, cool. All right. Yeah. If you would have just said that from the beginning. Which has its own version of Parallel Dimension Dracula Yes If you would have just said that from the beginning

Obi-Wan We must be go there Because there is beasts in forest Who Eat and kill people So they will eat us So we must be go Anakin was said And Obi-Wan was greeted eat and kill pebble so they will eat it us so we must be go. Anakim

was said and Obi-Wan was greeted. But first he put dead cloney army guys under the ground and buried them because he was good guy and a Christian. And God guys burr you dead

pebble Oh but then some bears was attack Oh finally it found peace exclamation Metal Gear or something. Ankim, we must run to Katsli and meet Dracula. Obi-Wan, Vase and the Jedi guys must run and cut bears in three and a half. How many bears was before? How do you cut something in

three and a half? This is why you're not a Jedi. I feel like you can cut something into four pieces and three pieces. Three and a half? This is why you're not a Jedi. Yeah. I feel like you can cut something into four pieces and three pieces. Three and a half pieces. It would make more sense if you saw Star Wars. Oh, okay. Fair enough. I'm sorry.

Suddenly, Anakin couldn't see Obi-Wan because they were separate. And Anakin was fithing more skeleton guys. After Skeletos was die, he voted demons

and death and Frankenstein sing monster and werewolves. See, now I would I don't like Star Wars, but I would watch this one. It's got a lot lot this is kind of compelling

yeah I mean you know there's a whole like kind of Laurel and Hardy vibe to this but with murder a lot more werewolfies you know and some probably big name actor is the Frankenstein monster oh yeah die you animal things probably big name actor as the Frankenstein singing monster. Oh yeah.

Die, you animal things, you kill us and eat us, so you must be die because you is tree. Anakims vas, say, and use loit sword to cut it ten last alive things

into forest. I'm gonna cut you into a forest, goddammit. I must seek Obavon because he my meanter and friend and I have... No, he's not your friend.

He's not your friend. He's at the 4-H fair. He's dipped in. I must seek Obavon He's not your friend. He's not your friend. Oh, I'm sorry. He's at the 4-H fair. He's dipped in. Yeah. Sorry. I must seek Obavon because he my meter and fried, and I have responsibility to save him because he is my fried. Yes. Frieds till the end. Oh, yeah.

So that was something that Anakin yelled Anakin was yelled to noon But couldn't be heard Because animals was howls How do you say That wasn't noon he yelled it to no one Oh you're right I'm sorry he actually yelled it to no one

Anakin runned off of Aminals and Vasun on Transis Vasia Castle. Jesus. That's a vastly different way he spells it every single time. I know, it's so hard. It's not even getting close.

It's just Transis Vasia and then there's Transis Vasia and then itel-Zin-Ya. Then there's Tran-Heezel-Schnitzel-Vlas-Bezin-Yu. And then there's finally Trans-Zis-Vas-Zin-Ya. Well, to be fair, this isn't Earth Transylvania, this is Star Wars one. It has like several different names. It's not even in our Galax-y.

Exactly. Every door has a different sign above it. Is anyone in any- in Castetal? Someone must be. Anakin must yell, but soon a old guy must say, You have come, welcome to my castle in Dracula. Dracula must... I think so.

Dracula must say, and door opened and closed before Anemnals was to Anakim to eat at him. Oh, wow. Is the signal that the animals should show up, the doors opening and closing? He closed the door before the animals could get in to get him.

Well, because he's got his cats well trained, you know, you open the door, the animals could get in to get him. Well, because he's got his cats well-trained. You know, you open the door, the cats come in. Yeah. Okay. There is Obavan. I must save him. And Akeem asks, and suddenly,

I see another guy, but it was familiar because it's Obavan. Oh, yay! I was worried. I thought Obavan was gone. You know, I am so glad that they finally took Obavan.com offline. Like, that was a filthy porn site. Anakim

Skywakers, you've abandoned me, and I meet a Dracula who save me and take my bloods so im vampire and you vil vil what what happens next continuation

vil happens oh my god cliffhanger. Superman and Stalin, the love story. Superman and Stalin, the love story. Superman and Stalin, the love story, again. One day, Superman vast fly above Earth, and vast saved people, full had trouble, but not more.

Suddenly, there was noisy thing frontwards of him. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. On no, a Tim Portal. What must be done by me? The Time Portal approached Superman, who tried fly off and into both test space and ground, but couldn't because too much pull vast from the portal, so he got sucked in. There, that makes sense.

No, no, Super nah be careful It okay Jimmy I fine I must fly Superman woke up in a Superman woke up in a city street And all is unfamiliar Where am I Someone last tell, so I call back to saving.

But all were wondering him because Superman was in past, but didn't know of, but soon vood. Then some people he recognized as Nazi soldier guys are proxies. Oh no, Nazi guys are a tick. I'm in past of world. What? Why aren't you guys as fast as Superman? Be careful, Superman.

Ah. Superman remembered his povers and flied off and knew where it was he to go to solve that situation he was in and that was unfortunate

that was unfortunate oh Superman couldn't have many more frottage I was going to say that's a really bad masturbation session. I must meet Stalin and help him defeat Hitler and my powers meack this possibility. Oh, he spelled possibility right.

Good for him. Oh, shit. That's one of those things where you come up on the word possibility and you go, possibility. Wait, what? The thing that gets me is he spelled possibility right, but he made a complete miss out of me-ack. He said, I'm he-va-soon at Riyadh Square, where he flied to Stalin, of course.

Oh, at Red Square. Yeah, Red, the Stalin, of course. Oh, and Red Square. Yeah, Red. The past tense of Reed. Yeah, the reading square. Superman, and the TiVo men began enjoying others' companions. I believe I know where this is going. Oh, yeah.

So before Superman go off into front lines to destroy... Wait, if this is getting sexy, I'm doing this. Yeah, change tones. Yeah. So before Superman go off into fronted lines to destroy Nazi army guys, Stalin kiss him. Oh, yeah. AMD say goodbye.

And the would met again. How many times am I supposed a jerk off in a single podcast? Jesus. Look, that's why you're a guy. You skip the foreplay. If that's not long enough for you... So after Soviet Army guys were close to Berlin,

Superman sawed Hitler. I think that's actually over. Ha ha ha ha. You have come to lat to stoop me, ruler of Europe's, who you don't defeat, and I too have powers. So Hitler

began shooting litning balls from hands. Balls of litning. The litning balls from hands. Uh-oh. Balls of litning. The litning balls hit Superman so he kick Hitler's in the belly. He kick all the Hitler's.

Hey, he's got superpowers. Hitler is amassing an army of Hitler's. But it did no thing. Soon more Nazi army gieus come and suit at superman and soviet guys and soviet guys began deading but superman kept fiction because he had to do it because hitte was evil man and opposed his love of his lift in mosc Moscow and was his life's lover.

Oh. Yes, yes, intrigue. Now both soldier guys from both countries were soting each other's and Hitler was still fifthing Hitler. I believe fifthing is, yeah, naughty time. Oh, damn.

There's multiple of them, so it's possible. Hey, baby, let's fifth. I don't know. Why don't we wait till the podcast's over, honey? Who had his strength and was strong and huge and scar, but who didn't kill Superman either? After days of battling and war, it would be clear who loses to war. But if you don't remember, don't remember history.

And history is important. It was German. Woe who lost. So Hitler faked a suicide. What? Not only he fake a suicide and fly to Moscow. Super Ma! Defeat me!

I will kill his lover, Stalin! Oh, no! Is Story Provider actually saying that this is historically accurate fiction? It is. In which Superman fights various Hitlers, and then

Hitler fakes a suicide and flies to a bottle of cheap vodka? I can tell you this. This is in fact historically correct, because Germany didn't win, am I right? That's the only thing. That's the only thing that's wrong with this.

Oh, you and your details. You make me sick. But Superman had followed him. So begin fight oh that was spelt right i just was all prepared so they begin fight it's rescue time but was at stack five by hitler bovas Hitler. Volvas Hoverver from her purpose. So Superman grabbed him and Threv into sun and Hitler died because he had super povers.

What? Hitler died because he had super povers? Because Superman had super powers. No, that's not what the sentence says. It says Hitler died because he had super povers. Well, yeah, because It says Hitler died because he has superpowers. Well, yeah, because if he had superpowers, he'd be okay.

If only for a typo, Hitler would still be with us. So Superman grabbed a man and thrived in the sun. And Hitler died because he had superpowers. But they weren't like Superman's superpowers. Because. That's what he's saying. Because. Because. The internet, which is the werewolf's

internet. As poverful so it was death for Hitler who was no more. Because he was deaded. He was dead because he was dead. Alright. I'd like to see you argue the logic out of that one. You can't one one equals one

there you go thank you for saving me from Hitler Superman and Superman said no problem I love you oh yeah here we go again here we go so they kiss

and has sex what vas better sex than vith lois and more fulfillment so they got married and for to have kids so stalin and superman vas happy

family forever and ever the end he was a family? He was all family. Foss Happy Family. I feel like there's a number of words that come to mind when I look at a picture of Joseph Stalin.

And tender lover is not one that immediately I think of. You don't know how Superman knows him. Yeah, only Superman could tame that beast. Although, I mean, yeah, it does make sense that Superman would be under rough sex They have the family, and I'm looking at that picture of Stalin And there's another word that doesn't come to mind Female

They adopted, Russia's very accepting of gays Man, what is this? Counterstrike Oh wait, no, dammit Come on, this is romantic It's not, it's terror It's drama, adventure If this is not romantic

Then tell me what quarterstrike is about It's not about quarterstrike It's got courting Yeah Counterstrike Story of terror It's not a court. It's got courting. Yeah. Okay. Counterstrike. Story of Terror. In the section Games Half-Life.

Provided by Story Provider. Rated T for Teen. Adventure Drama. There is one review. I'm sure it's positive. Counterstrike. Story of Terror. Outeror's positive. Courtier Strike. Story of Terror. Outerora's note. There

is net counter stick section in this site. So I post it to Half-Life section because it's sold in the same and same game maker which is Valve.

So, it's sold... Oh, damn it! Get your Eastern Bloc accent going. It's sold in the same and same game maker which is Valve. Check off. Oh, yeah.

So, I'm sorry if wrongs, but I had two publishes because story really good. I can believe that. I believe that was his one review, too. Because story really good. Yes. Chapter one. What is happens? Matthew Terrorism Guy was in fight on day and was fithing Counter Terror guys.

Wu was shouting to his friend guys who was to trouble. So he yelled to the MNE that, COUNTER TERROR GUYS WE MUST EXPLOSE BOMB! And why? They asked back to Matthew, and he said that you are evil west guys. I serve Allah, so you must die because jihad. That's a good point. So he buy the M249 gun, which was good gun with many bullets,

shot it in second, and shoot two city guys. It's my favorite gun in game. Get it? But, why? The story needs a postmodern tag to it. But, suddenly, more city people come on. Matthew, he was scars like bad But he would fight still like easy was almost bomb place where her

Exploson is but not yet isn't Captor also To I guess two, I guess. Matthew must be stopes. Oh no. You're really majestic there. The counter-terror guys take

to break to discuss and smoked tubacus. And Geigers lick cool because they scarred this pebble because terror guys said we must kill Matthew.

Okay. Yeah. So they agreed it lick easy. So they stopped Brick to kill more Terror Guys who Vess shouting back to them but missed but not every time because they killer guy pebble.

Sure. Die! Die! Terrorism pebble! Evan says, but there vas too many terrorism guys and few a minutes vas almost gones.

But there stills time but is it enough? Sorry, is it unif? We must stop Bob-omb before to let behave. 3VO minutes. TV is a public broadcasting network

in Ontario. And 345 seconds to time, another counters terrorism guy say, but he was shoted, but he did not deaded, because bullet vest, and they stabbed him to eye, so he

deads anyways. Anyways. Anyways. Anyways. Chapter 3 3 Fightings Yeah Settle in I'm ready

Are you ready I'm hyped Blow our minds This chapter boring talk but also some fights But so I didn't write it, so next captor is next. Yes! I was on the edge of my seat

for all of that. That was better than I thought. I mean, I expected a lot there, but it lived up to all the billing. So he didn't write it because what it had was some fighting and some dialogue. So, you know, it's kind of out of his, you know, sort of style of writing.

Right. You know, that's right out of Robert McKee. Vortex? Yes. Copter 4 and Conclausion. The bomb was almost to explode, but

didn't it? Because it fake bomb, so it not necessary, but it strang, so Evan guy yields, it the trap! And he was in rickth, so son the counter-terror guys was surround! Uh-oh.

Okay. Okay. I hope everything works out. Evil west guys, yous must die. We kill you, but drop weypons or we shoot. But five minutes vas over, so everything

was okay. Oh! Excellent! Excellent! Yay! I like that in war is when the timer goes off. Everyone just drops their guns in the bucket and goes home. Good luck out. Evening, Bill.

And his counter-strike around was over. Yeah, Canada was in Afghanistan, but they're leaving, and they were like, GG, and the other guys were like, GG, and they're leaving. And they were like, GG! And the other guys were like, GG! And they left home. And there we go. Around about an hour of word salad. Acer, what did you learn this episode? Well, I learned today that there's absolutely this new metric for measuring things.

Now, bear with me. This might get a little rambly. In my mind, originally I saw kind of like a scale, you know, where like the ten end of the scale is awesome and the one end of the scale is completely terrible. Okay, sure. Take that scale and bend it so that you connect the ten and the one.

If you go lower than 1 it wraps around and becomes a 10. This guy's writing was so bad it became great. It's probably one of the best things I've heard in a long time. Yeah, it's called the irony ring. Where something gets worse and worse and worse and worse

and then it's ironically great! I'm not even sure I'd call it ironically great. It just was. Yeah, it was. It was definitely pretty remarkable. We'd like to know what you think. The website is always thefpl.us. Leave some comments,

spell them badly, and that would be nice. We would like that. And don't listen to your editors, whatever you do. Alright, until next time bye cheers I'm shaking. No! Your pants are too tight so you can't let yourself go. Bunny Bread, would you please review this for us? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Well, I read through most of it. By the way, I'm ASDFZXC920. That's a good name. I'm surprised it's not taken by somebody else. Yeah, well, it was my mother's name, but they passed it. Come on. That was Aztec. Give me a break.

Your grandfather did. No, you go to was my mother's name that they tested. That was Aztec. Give me a break. Your grandfather did. No, you go to Ellis Island and they got it changed. Enough with the trolling. It's not funny anymore. Fuck you. I disagree. I completely disagree.