The F Plus - 80: Disliking This Episode is a Form of Harassment

Episode Date: August 17, 2012

A civilized society is a society of laws, but problems may occur when brilliant and cunning individuals find ways to circumvent the spirit of a law while adhering cynically to its letter. Our subject for this episode, Jonathan Lee Riches, is neither brilliant nor cunning, and it was his many thousand daliances with the legal community that got him a fair amount of gawker attention, and nothing much else. Can one man bring down the entire legal system just by filing frivolous lawsuit? Nope! Seems like he can't but that won't make him stop trying. This week, various buddhist monks finally get what's coming to them.

Moot, since the frocked cow fucker in San Francisco denied the plaintiff's appeal. Let the jury show that this man is indeed fucking a cow while wearing a frock. Hey there, this is the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things read with enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. I'm Boots Reingear. And Boots, I'm so glad you're here for this episode. We got a lot of stuff planned. It's going to be really...

Are we doing bumpers right now? Yeah, well, yeah, because we got people on the internet to make fun of. Yeah, there's a problem with that. What's that? My attorney has advised me that I shouldn't do bumpers anymore. Oh, I see. So you are seeking

legal counsel then? Yes, yes. I'm currently involved in a number of lawsuits. Okay. Who is your attorney? Rob the Parrot. Rob the Parrot? Rob the Parrot's my attorney. Why did you get that guy? First of all, doesn't he have enough to do?

No. Anyway, yeah, I'm currently involved in a number of lawsuits. I'm suing Portax for disturbing the peace. Sure. I'm suing Portax for disturbing the peace. Sure. I'm suing Nutshell Gulag for defamation of character. That's fair enough. Yeah.

I'm suing George Lucas for trespassing. Did he actually trespass, or is this just a lawsuit for fun? What? I don't know. You're just suing him on the chance that he might be trespassing? What? I don't know. You're just suing him on the chance that he might be trespassing? Yeah, I keep hearing of all these people that are getting money by suing.

Sure, sure. The thing that I want to tell you, and I don't want to interfere with you and rob the parrot. I know that you have special times planned. But, you know, torts're sort of a complicated thing and uh yeah you know you can uh you know spill coffee in your lap and sue mcdonald's and that's a winning case and there's also situations where maybe you have lawyers that uh are not particularly well suited to the profession uh and a lot of times they'll end up in prison for their torts. Sure, but I don't think Rob's ever going to prison. He won't put parrots in prison.

Well, kind of. But I want to actually introduce you to a guy, just as a warning, I want to introduce you to a cautionary tale of Johnny Tsunami. That is Johnny Tsunami. That is Johnny Tsu-nami. That's very clever. Also known as Jonathan Lee Rich's copyright. And he has

authored a number of lawsuits. None of them were successful. All of them ended in disaster. And they were very poorly written. He sounds like my kind of guy. Mine too.

Readers assemble! In the room tonight, we have Bump Girl. I would like a temporary restraining order against the F+, because Disney World. John Toast. I am only doing this podcast because Khloe Kardashian has a buck knife to my throat.

Boots Reingear. I'm suing Boots Randolph for stealing most of my name 50 years before I was born, also playing a saxophone. Hey kids, you wanna buy some marijuana? That's it? That's all? Consider yourself lucky. And also Kanye West. They put Kanye West on my bicycle seat. Do we have something else to read? Yeah, of course. I want to introduce us now to a prolific litigator

by the name of Jonathan Lee Rich's registered trademark. I'm sorry, Jonathan Lee Rich's copyright. Copyright, that's right. Nobody else gets to call themselves Johnny Lee Rich's from now on. Even when you fight crime or whatever. So he has a couple suits. Would you like to start with

Orenthal J. Simpson or Michael Vick? Damn, I am jonesing for some Vicks. Okay, he wants some Michael Vick. I know who that is. Very good. Yay, sports.

Well, maybe Toast should do it. All right, if you'll take us through the filings of Jonathan Lee Rich's against Michael Vick, the defendant. Oh, yes. I can read this. Oh, my God. So this is a handwritten legal document. a handwritten legal document. Jonathan Lee Rich's font could most adequately be described

as comic sans-serif-esque. Making the filed stamps by the U.S. District Court that much more ludicrous. Yes. So I should do this as somebody doing their book report in front of a fourth grade classroom. Yes, this is the United States District Court, Eastern District of Virginia, Richmond Division.

Grade four. By Jonathan Lee Riches. Written in copyright. Hour three. Plaintiff. Versus Michael Vick. Defendant. Complaint is theft and abuse of my animals.

Tro temporary restraining order. This suit is a Bivens action and civil rights violation by the Constitution-A laws. Ricky Bell and Ronnie DeVoe want nothing to do with this. I was waiting for which Bell-Biv-odevaux joke would show up. Michael Vick is playing. And federal tort claims inflicted by that include,

but not limited to, injury to wildlife, conspiracy, illegal dogfighting, extortion, racketeering, gambling, copyright infringements, identity theft, fraud, threats to commit violent acts.

Wait, did the dog steal your identity? Yes. I'm Jonathan Lee Riches, I'd like to open an account here. Hello, I am Jonathan Lee Riches. Jonathan Lee Riches. I'd like to open an account here. Hello, I am Jonathan Lee Riches. Man, I used to like that Jonathan Lee Riches, but he keeps

humping my leg. He keeps opening tabs at various bars throughout town as well. Also shit on my rug. Threats to commit violent acts, brutality, and tax fraud. Wow, this Michael Vick character doesn't sound

so nice. It's weird because he had a stellar record up until this point. Maybe Jonathan should have said this next part. Comes now the plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches, written in copyright, in pro se, moves this honorable court to issue an order for

defendant Michael Vick to give a response. That's a glue, a response. I was about to say, once again, his handwriting is giving me, like, oh boy moments only to be thoroughly disappointed when it goes correctly. Michael Vick glues a response.

Also moves this honorable court to issue a true temporary restraining order the received stamp is against order against Michael Vick from any further contact with plaintiff as plaintiff is claiming that his federal and state constitutional rights July 28, 2007 violated under the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th,

6th, 8th, and 14th amendments of the Constitution. Wow! So wait, okay, pause. If anything involves black people, does the 14th just come into play at any time? Is that what this is? Did anyone actually learn what the 14th was?

Or was that still us just making things up? It's black people getting citizenhood. Yeah. Essentially. So you violated that by being Michael Vick. By being Michael Vick. You know what? I can agree with that. Sure. Sorry, black people.

You could have put somebody else up. No. Wow. So violated the, you know, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 amendments. Do you seek any sort of, you know, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 amendments. Do you seek any sort of, you know, restitution for this sort of thing? Well, it's funny you ask. For relief, plaintiff seeks $63 billion. No, no, no, no, no, no.

That's $63 billion billion dollars. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'll restart that. For relief, plaintiff seeks $63 billion point zero zero billion dollars. Fact by Gold and Silver. Delivered U.S. United States Parcel Service. The U.P.S. if you care to call them that. It's not the United States Parcel Service, it's the United Parcel Service. The UPS if you care to call them that. It's not the United States Parcel Service. It's the United Parcel Service. To the front

gates of FCI Williamsburg's sweet sweaters? Salters? Salters? FCI Williamsburg Salts MC collected from defendant Michael Vick.

So we have to deliver that by hand? With a dollar sign on it, just put it at my front gate. And Michael Vick. So we just bring a cartoon sack of money with a dollar sign on it and just put it at my front gate. And Michael Vick also has to work for the United States Parcel Service. Alright, so that's how much money you want. Why do you deserve this money? Well, number one,

Michael Vick is a quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons. Oh, well, shit, open and shut case there. Here's your 63 billion billion dollars then. You are correct. Kept expecting from the UPS and the billion dollars. He kept just repeating everything he said.

The Atlanta Falcons are an NFL team. On April 20th, 2007, Mr. Vick stole two white mix pit bull dogs from my residence in Holiday, Florida. Sure. It's not regular day Florida. It was special Florida they have for holidays. From vacation Florida.

And used them for dog fighting throughout the Richmond area. Mr. Vic damaged my RFID chips in my dog's collar so I would not be able to track them. These two dogs were used for fighting on April 23rd and 26th

2007. On April 28th Mr. Vic sold my dogs on eBay auction and used the proceeds to purchase missiles for the Iran government. Oh. I knew it! How come he didn't know I was stealing?

I shouldn't have bought those dogs. Oh, shit. I honestly did not expect that. Did you? Wow. I forgot about the part where Michael Vick sold missiles to Iran. Is that what the racketeering is? I feel shitty for funding terrorism.

No, no, no. He bought them from Iran. Yeah. Oh, you're right. And that's just point one of four. Yeah, yeah. Keep going. Number two.

Michael Vick continued to harass me on May 4th, 2007 by stealing my identity from my coat. What? I keep my sense of self-worth there. Don't open my pocket. My soul is in there. My identity was used to open new store account cards to PetSmart at Doggy Warehouse to purchase food for Mr. Vic's illegal dogfighting operation.

Because Mr. Vic needs to steal money from this guy. This guy is loaded, and Vic is clearly... Oh, fuck. Well, he can't be loaded. He keeps having to give away $63 billion in lawsuits. That's true. I just picture Michael Vic standing there in his jersey. So you're...

Let me see if I can get this right. Jonathan Lee Riches? Yeah! Well, congratulations. Here's some Purina. Michael... Number three. Michael Vick violated my copyright laws.

I'm going outside of the lines on the paper here. That's difficult. Come on. By using my copyright name on his personal football outfit and casual clothing without paying me for use. Incidentally,

Jonathan Lee Riches, when spelled out, looks a lot like Michael Vick, so I can understand the confusion. Oh, man. That sounds like a hell of a conspiracy. Michael Vick did that. This conspiracy... Well, it's not of a conspiracy. That was Michael Dick that did that. This conspiracy... Well, it's not really a conspiracy. He just did it. Anything bad that happens to

Johnny Lee Rich is a conspiracy. It's probably other people involved. He is the original gangsta. He conspired alone. Join the army. Be a conspiracy of one. This conspiracy started Jan or John, I can't tell, 10th, 2001,

until the day this suit was written. Okay. And then it stopped? Scribbling this bullshit down on paper. I didn't know you were writing this down. Oh, fuck. I'm going to get out of here. Mr. Vic is still using this copyright? Well, how do we know this is actually Jonathan Lee Rich's? Uh-oh.

It might actually be Mr. Vic holds the copyright still, technically. He's suing himself. To get $63 billion in gold bars delivered to Because one of him is going to declare bankruptcy, and then the government has to bail him out. Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

We're on to you. Mr. Vic uses my name to sell t-shirts. Jonathan Lee Rich's mugs, Mr. Rich's hats. Nothing else, apparently. There's no et cetera. He sold some T-shirts, some mugs, and some hats. He tried T-shirts, mugs, and hats, and nobody bought a goddamn thing for some reason, and so he quit at that point.

For some reason, Googling Jonathan Lee Rich's shirt just brings up references to this case. What, there's no images? Number four. Now, if you guys weren't convinced before, listen to this. You're going to change your tune. These are bullet points, by

the way. I subtly changed to bullet points because I'm using more professional copyright. On are bullet points, by the way. I subtly changed to bullet points because writing is hard. Copyright. On February 10th, 2007, Michael Vick pled allegiance to Al-Qaeda. Oh.

Bullet point number two. Michael Vick subjected me to microwave testing. How long did it take to rip this hot pocket? A minute and 20 seconds! Oh god, stop! Then he made me watch Jiffy Pop go

for an hour. That's on the stove. Oh shit. One of those other pop pop pops. That was the test. Bullet point number three. Michael Vick. Use drugs in school zones.

That's probably true. No, that's actually legit. He's caught in this. Hanging out with all the bad kids behind the dumpsters. Hey, honey, how was school? Wait a second. Oh, God. And bullet point number four.

Michael Vick is in the business of illegal steroids. What? And he's in professional sports? Okay, crazy pants. This somehow affects me. He has bigger muscles. Plaintiff prays this court to give him relief on these issues no period plaintiff prays this court will issue a temporary restraining order against michael vick so he can scribble out longer sell my copyright materials michael vick can't steal any more of my animals dogs

for dog fighting he was stealing my octopus for dog fighting, but it didn't make any sense. Well, that's what Jonathan Lee Riches thought. It's like, wait, they might think I mean my gerbils. Hmm, I've got to point this out. Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes. Come here, Phil, that's your bitch! How do you physically do that?

I'm Jonathan Lee Riches, and all my hopes are set on the ground in this sandcastle. Take that, fucker. Michael Vick should stop calling me a homo right now. If Michael Vick doesn't stop calling me a homo, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm going to sue you for $63 billion billion. We talked on private chat, and he was alright. Respectfully submitted, and I sign my name

and then put a copyright, and then I print my name and put a copyright. And then, at the end of it, above my address, I put Jonathan Lee Riches again and put a copyright. It's Jonathan Lee comma Riches. So Riches is his title.

Rich! As the footnote to this, in big brackets, due to restrictions on typewriters, this suit was handwritten. Oh, was it? Now that really makes me wonder what Jonathan Lee

Riches did to the typewriter to make it so he couldn't type this out. All typewriters have a restraining order against each wonder what Jonathan Lee Riches did to the typewriter to make it so he couldn't type this out. All typewriters have a restraining order against each other. Jonathan Lee Riches. They're all tied up for being bad. Now, what I can't believe is a guy who thinks Michael Vick personally microwaved his head can't afford a computer. That's just crazy. I don't believe it.

That's the one hole in this whole thing. Well, if you want, I can spoil some of this for you. I'm pretty sure he was in jail at the time when he wrote this. Oh, now it makes sense. Yeah. So I want to do another Jonathan Lee Riches. He has more? Yeah.

There's much more. Awesome. He has several suits. But this, as previously alluded to, is the Orenthal James Simpson lawsuit with a bonus defendant, which I will be describing to you. All right, so this is for the University, I'm sorry, the United States District Court,

Middle District of Florida. My name is Jonathan Lee Riches, copyright. I'm a plaintiff. I am suing Orenthal James Simpson, a.k.a. O.J. Simpson, and also Steve Jobs, a.k.a. CEO Apple Computer Incorporated. Oh, sure. Oh, wait, maybe they're the same guy, we just never knew it before.

Shit. Well, see, here's the complaint. OJ is using computer warfare on my life. Okay, yeah, I can see that. OJ was a real, congenitally guy. True temporary restraining order.

Why did he write down that Wesley Willis song as the title of his paper here? OJ is using a computer on my life. He is making life hard for me.

Ride the bus. Alright. Rock over London, rock on Chicago. Jonathan Lee Riches. It's copyright. Okay. Comes now the plaintiff, Jonathan Lee Riches, copyright,

in pro se, moves this honorable court to issue a tro-temporary restraining order against this defendant and forbidding the sales of Apple products to consumers as Apple is committing antitrust violations. Apple supports O.J. Simpson financially. And Apple contributes to my illegal incarceration. Plaintiff prays for relief. So wait, he's not

even submitting this to a court. He's just submitting this to God. So wait, they... So Apple is sponsoring his incarceration? Well, guys, you might be forgetting. Remember back when this was happening, when every time you renewed iTunes, it said, do you want to keep incarcerating Jonathan Lee Riches?

I was really wondering what that was about. Okay, number one. My life is in danger from defendants. On 9-18-07, Steve Jobs is arranging to secretly release O.J. Simpson from prison to come up to FCI Williamsburg to radio wave warp me because I have old football cards of O.J. Simpson. So it's not just the microwaves, it's also the radio waves.

They're all conspiring against him. The whole spectrum. Let's do the radio wave warp. It's just a step to the left. File a restraining order. We were both there at the same time. All right. On 9-17-07, I negotiated a plea bargain with Steve Jobs

while he sat in Cinderella's castle in the Magic Kingdom to leave my life alone. But talks broke down with the VAW and Detroit. Oh, shit. That was a mad lib. Wait, what? I think it's the only correct answer.. That was a mad lib. Wait, what? I think it's the only correct answer.

That totally was a mad lib. United Health Workers and Detroit. Look, Steve Jobs was going to break into the car market. This makes enough sense. Sure.

He's also hanging out in Disney World all the time and with Cinderella. This also makes sense. The only part that doesn't make sense is, oh, no,

this is solid. Fuck it. Never mind. We're all caught up. Number two, O.J. Simpson has been Steve Jobs' hitman since the 1985 Move House bombing? In Philadelphia. The Move House bombing in Philadelphia, which Jobs started with borrowed pyrotechnics from Great White. Okay, before I embarrassotechnics from Great White.

Okay. Before I embarrass myself, is Great White a thing I don't know about? No, it's a band. Yeah, Great White was the band that had a pyrotechnic fire that burned down about five years ago. No, Great White was the hair metal band that was good enough to kill its own fans. Yeah. Although it's kind of

better in Toast's way if you really thought there was a shark out there that did pyrotechnics. Just spitting fireworks from its mouth. I it's kind of better in Toast's way, if he really thought there was a shark out there that was doing pyrotechnics work. Just spitting fireworks from his mouth. I love the implication of this, that the Great White had been conspiring since 1985 to kill people with pyrotechnics. Yeah. It's the long con.

It took them that long. I also wonder how you borrow pyrotechnics. I'll give you back later. I'll give them back to you. They might be in slightly worse shape. Yeah, I don't smoke anymore while doing that. Alright. Number three. OJ paid

Jobs to clone Dolly the Sheep on April 20th, 1998. Dolly was a gift to me by Princess Diana, but OJ took it from me on April 19th, 1998 because OJ thought it was his memorabilia. OJ and me have had problems since OJ got Steve Jobs

to mount computer chips in my brain at a 2600 megahertz and Microsoft Word padded my brain with pirated Apple Mac OS X software, Jobs obtained using my identity at Circus City on December 4, 2003.

Oh my god, they traveled in time to do that. Yeah, there's all evidence of that. I like that OJ thought it was his sheep, though. Didn't I win that? That's my Heisman Trophy, isn't it? I know I won that. Point number four. Jobs is guilty of price gouging on May 10th 2007. There's a kernel of truth in every one of these, isn't there? That's weird. I bought an Apple capital I

hyphen phone for $922? And one cent. And one cent. I bought an iPhone for $922 and one cent at the FCI Williamsburg prison commissary. Well, that's bullshit because he would have spent cigarettes.

They don't deal in real money. They deal in blowjobs and cigarettes. Oh, I'm sorry. You would like unfettered communication with the outside world? Yeah, here you go. Now, Jobs sells the same iPod, which apparently is the same thing, for £199. Jobs is

biased and prejudiced towards political prisoners like myself. Jobs has nuclear missiles pointed at my brain. Excuse me, Professor Jobs, his brain is in range now. Wait. Wait, not yet.

Okay, wait, Professor Jobs, his brain is in range now. Wait. Wait, not yet. Point at... Okay, wait, no, this is a list. Okay, so it's not just pointing at my brain. Jobs has nuclear missiles pointed at my brain, Lance Armstrong's bicycle, Also pointed at your brain. The Seattle Space Needle all have infrared waves

touring my thoughts. I'm confused as to how Lance Armstrong's bicycle fits in here. His job's pointing nuclear missiles at Lance Armstrong's bicycle as well, or does Lance Armstrong's bicycle also have infrared waves touring his thoughts? The missiles are strapped to Lance Armstrong's bicycle. To me, it looks like it's punctuated, so job says nuclear missiles pointed at my brain, comma, Lance Armstrong's bicycle. To me, it looks like it's punctuated so Jobs has nuclear missiles pointed at my brain,

comma, Lance Armstrong's bicycle, period. So his brain is Lance Armstrong's bicycle. By the way, he's telling this to Lance Armstrong's bicycle. Dear Lance Armstrong's bicycle. The outers of Seattle Space Needle all have ray waves. Alright, anyway. OJ has been providing jobs with food blenders since the Midwest

flood of 1993. Jobs planted computer lifters under the Mississippi to rise with the Messiah. Wait, what? No, actually, that was under the Mississippi. The Mississippi. The Mississippi. Hello, Mississippi. What? No, actually, that was under the Mrs. Pie.

Mrs. Pie. Hello, Mrs. Pie. Under the Mrs. Pie. Point number S. OJ Simpson is using my credits to finance Apple technology to mind-manipulate his Las Vegas jury, the XLP-8-52G software, which we all are familiar with that, will make each juror say not guilty. This same...

Well, then why am I bothering to do this shit? No, that's OJ's. That's OJ's. Oh, yeah. OJ has that shit. You can't afford it because he blew all your money on iPhones, you dumb shit. This same software was used in my case as a... Trial?

This is Trab. Okay. As a Trab tester. But Jobs secretly put water to glitch the computers, making all my jurors say guilty instead. I move this court for a mistrial. In my case, and a restraining order against CNN, producer Andy Seagal

for showing my bank robbing photo. Wait, you didn't name producer Andy Seagal as the original defendant? Yeah. This is a miscarriage of justice. Yeah, exactly. This might not hold up, guys. I don't know.

Anyway, producer Andy Seagal for showing my bank robbing photos on May 20th, 2006 program, presents How to Rob a Bank. These photos had me smiling, but they were digitally enhanced. My OJ. That's like his friend. He had some orange juice. That's like him saying, my brother.

Digitally enhanced, my OJ. It's a term of affection between OJs. Yeah, exactly. There you go. Page three. Tro temporary restraining order. Defendant OJ Simpson is after my brain to give to Steve Jobs

for science fiction experiments at the Magic Kingdom. Yay! All in favor? The Victoria and Alberts above the Grand Floridian Resort will be the operating table. I move this court to block the people from entering Walt Disney World. A restraining order forbidding the sale of the Apple iPhone

because each phone has part of my intellectual DNA property, including the sidebar logo, Jonathan Lee Rich's copyright symbol. Okay, okay. Plaintiff respectively submitted Jonathan Lee Rich, and then I forgot to copyright that signature, so... Oh, shit, we got an opening, guys. I think my copyright just expired right there.

So, uh... So this guy is, like, sound of mind and just really likes fucking with the court system, right? Because I see on Wikipedia that he's written over 2,600 of these. He's in jail, so he's bored, right? No, no, no, no, no, no. He's in jail for this shit.

Yes. He's in jail for this. I mean, this kind of is wasting everybody's goddamn time. We actually... They let him go so he'd stop doing this. They let him go and he immediately started up again, of course. We have more Jonathan Lee Rich's copyright, but we're not going to read it. Instead, Boots, I'm going to give you this.

Class action. So, Boots, if you just briefly go through a few of the defendants in the case of Jonathan Lee Rich's versus George W. Bush at all. Here is the following, a list of defendants and cases by plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches. Yeah. Defendant, Richard B. Cheney, Vice President. Mm-hmm. Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of State. Sure.

John W. Stowe, Secretary of Treasury. Right, yeah. The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. They know each other. Sure. Yeah. Osama bin Laden, also known as Osama bin Mohammed bin Laden. Yep.

William Gates, Chairman of Microsoft. Yep, yep. Adolf Hitler's National Socialist Party. Yep. It's about time somebody took them down a peg. Yeah. Yep. John Deere tractors.

Yes. In Legion with the Nazis, der. Island Def Jam music group. Right. Sean Carter doing business as Jay-Z. Also known as Adolf Hitler himself. Queen of England. I don't know what her name is. No title listed, so I don't know what her name is.

No title listed, so I don't know what she does. Steven Spielberg. Yeah, of course. Japan's Nikkei Stock Exchange. Naturally. Three Mile Island. Nuclear Power Plant.

Just the one. Which one? Tony Danza. Oh, good. Yeah, there's some money in that guy. Get it. The University of Miami. The Vienna Convention. Yes.

The Salvation Army. Oh, sure. The Jewish State of Israel. Cable News Network. CNN. Oh, sure. The Jewish State of Israel. Cable News Network. CNN. If that's your real name. What's right after that?

Magna Carta. Of course. Finally. Right after that? Right after that? Right after that. Tsunami victims. All of them. Fuck them. You've been living in the high life for far too longsunami victims. All of them. Fuck them.

You've been living in the high life for far too long, tsunami victims. Lazy bastards living off the teat of the ocean. Yeah, you've just been riding that wave. Oh, that's better. Son of a bitch. Too soon, man. All right. Fruit of a loom.

Whatever the fruit of a loom is. With some loom. Outback Steakhouse, followed by Donald J. Trump. Followed by? Followed by Trump Plaza. Let's do it, you and your building, asshole! The Vatican? The Taliban?

No, the one after the Vatican, please. Oh, the one after the Vatican? Oh, Sean John Combs. Doing business as? Puff Daddy. Doing business as? Mr. Diddy Daddy doing business as Mr. Diddy Mr. Diddy plays Rise Mr. Diddy the guy that likes to whistle little jaunty tunes

when he goes to the bank the Taliban Richard M. Daly, Mayor of the City of Chicago Meals on Wheels of course the actual meals Richard M. Daly, mayor of the city of Chicago. Naturally. Meals on Wheels. Of course. The actual meals! The actual meals, yeah.

Columbine High School. Brad Pitt and his adopted son, Maddox. Sure, yeah. I remember him. He came out of the best vagina in the universe. www.askjeeves.com That's my favorite one. Lincoln Memorial. Sure.

Freemason Lodge. Various Buddhist monks. On page eight. You're cool, you're cool, fuck you, you're cool. You skipped over Plato. Yeah, I'm just gonna say. You had Kelly Clarkson and Plato, right? No, that's Kelly Clarkson.

That's somebody completely different. Mein Kampf? Rastafarian natives. Natives of Rastafaria. Oh, okay. Get out of here. Illuminati. Illuminati and Denny's.

How many pages of defendants are you suing? Oh, there's a lot. It turns out there's a lot. The Statue of Liberty. Oh, fuck that bitch. Burt Reynolds. Fort Knox. Whoopi Goldberg.

Right. Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, The Apollo Theater, The Roman Empire, Wu-Tang Clan and Wu-Wear, The Pink Triangle Coalition, Jeopardy Champion, Halfway down, page 13,

He's suing religion. The Warsaw Pact. The Da Vinci Code. And the New York Stock Exchange. Native American Fish Society. The Colossus of Rhodes. The Boy Scouts of America. Guys, how about gangs in Hong Kong?

Nordic gods. Alright, anyway, anyway, how many pages of defendants are there? Well, I'm still going through them. Pizza Hut. As well as Robert C. Bonner, the Commissioner of the United States Customs Service. Engine No. 9, Fire Department. Shady Records Incorporated, also known as M&M. Trojan Horse.

Hey, Shady Records Incorporated! Yeah, there are 57 pages of this. Well, this is obviously why he doesn't get to use a typewriter anymore, because he kept typing this, and the guys at the jail were like, no, you're fucking done. Yeah, they just... Why are our ink bills suddenly skyrocketing? Wait, wait, I haven't gotten to Chuck E. Cheese yet!

Oh, shit! I just pictured the guard walking up. He's like, no, Jonathan, you need to stop on the typewriter. And then he just looks at him and types in, the guard in front of me. Enter. He tops it off with the three greatest evils in the world. DeGaulle, Paris Airport, Skittles Candy, and Alan Schwarzenegger. That really summarizes this list, actually.

Yeah. That really summarizes this list, actually. All right. So that's Jonathan Lee Riches. There's another suit with him against, what was it, Jared Lee Loeffner, which we're not going to read. Oh. But we've got to move on. We've got to move on to Gino Romano.

Well, Gino, I I got news for you here Yeah what is it? What's your news? Gino Romano is actually Jonathan Lee Rich Holy shit! Oh my god Okay Bunnybread if you'll take the case

Of Gino Romano Versus several people The case of It's like the Encyclopedia of Brown. Yeah. Just like this. United States District Court, Northern District of West Virginia. Gina Romano and all others, similarly situated, plaintiff. Versus

Kim Kardashian, a.k.a. Kimberly Noel Kardashian, Kanye West, Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, defendants. Okay. Preliminary injunction, temporary restraining order. I gotta say, Kanye West looks really awkward in that group.

He doesn't want to be there. Gina Romano faces imminent danger and bodily harm, and the American citizens are in danger from the defendants, the Kardashian clan. Right. And Kanye West. And two Jenners. Sure. All of the defendants are terrorists. The Kardashian clan. Right. And Kanye West. And two Jenners. Sure. All of the defendants

are terrorists. Oh. Oh, okay. Yep. Well, that's... Okay. Deep in the hills, and I stumbled upon

the defendants who were all at a Al-Qaeda secret training camp. Sure. Kris Jenner organized this operation and seated members

of Al-Qaeda where they were including number two Ayman Al-Zawahiri, Richard Reed's cousins, so who are you guys? Are we Richard Reed's cousins?

Johnny Walker Lynn's parents, and Al-Shabaab. And on this day, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kanye West, and Bruce Jenner all pled allegiance to al-Qaeda. They burned the U.S. flag, stomped their feet on Barack's picture.

Barack had just drawn a really nice picture of a sunshine up in the corner. Your drawing sucks! This is me, this is Michelle, my girlfriend. And these are our little girls. And we got a doggie named Bo. Then Kanye West performed a concert for all the Al Qaeda members. They all drank Jim Jones juice. Well, wait a minute. In that case, the Kardashians were kind of doing a good service, right?

Well, we're talking about semen, really, in the end. Well, I mean, I'm saying if he fed them all poisoned Kool-Aid, you know, maybe it was like a covert, like, you know, black ops kind of thing, right? Maybe. Let's keep an open mind here. Yes, this might turn out well for everyone. And then the defendants

got shovels and were digging coal and fracking at mines in West Virginia to get fuel to make weapons. Or fracking with their shovels, I gotcha. Fracking at mines in West Virginia to get fuel to make weapons of mass destruction. Fracking with their shovels, I gotcha. Fracking at mines in West Virginia to get fuel to make weapons of mass destruction. And Kris Jenner was enriching uranium. And the

Kardashians made a vow that all their websites, Kardashian clothing line, and e-network reality shows and any proceeds will go directly to Al-Qaeda to finance and support the jihad. Well, there's one thing I know about the Kardashians is that they don't like accepting money. They need to pass it forward.

They want to earn it, exactly. No, they're salt of the earth people. Enriched uranium of the earth people. I like that they somehow built weapons of mass destruction on natural gas. And the Kardashians made a vow that all their websites, Kardashian clothing line, and EWIT network reality shows and any proceeds will go directly to Al-Qaeda to finance and support the jihad.

And Kim Kardashian has been signing autographs for Hamas. And Al-Qaeda. That's sort of a lesser crime in a lot of these, but that's all right. And Ayman al-Zawahiri got Kourtney Kardashian pregnant. Duh. We all know that. And Kim Kardashian is now the leader of Al-Qaeda. Sure. and Kim Kardashian is now the leader of Al-Qaeda sure is there a sex tape

of Al-Zawahiri fucking Kourtney Kardashian in the ass he looks a lot like Ray J but yeah sure but pregnant

I gotta say Lemon that's not how you get pregnant and Kim Kardashian is now the leader of Al-Qaeda the defendants shot AK-47s in the air

and waved them like they just didn't care MS-13 gangs were there too all the defendants stopped shoveling for coal and prayed to Mecca at 12 noon shot AK-47s in the air and waved them like they just didn't care. MS-13 gangs were there, too. Oh, sure. All the defendants stopped shoveling for coal and prayed to Mecca at 12 noon and shoes on eBay.

Sure. Are we missing a page here? No, we are not. This makes sense. No, it's page 2-2, according to the court files. Okay, so prayed to Mecca at 12 noon and shoes on eBay. And shoes on eBay for Islamic charity.

Oh, so they prayed... So they also prayed to shoes on eBay. They prayed to shoes, yeah. Or they prayed to Mecca... No. And shoes on eBay for Islamic charity. Oh, so they also prayed to shoes on eBay. They prayed to shoes, yeah. Or they prayed to Mecca. Shoes on eBay for Islamic charity. Getting back to our original... Finally, he had a period. I'm proud of him.

Kanye West is now also the leader of Chicago's notorious Elrond Street Gang, and Kim Kardashian plans to make Al-Qaeda women veils for her clothing line, Dash. And Khloe Kardashian has been cheating on Lamar with Zacharias Mussoumi. Oh, dear! Well, now this is dish. That is a scandal, indeed. The 1973 Olympics. I remember those. That's them, yep.

Okay. The 1973 Olympics. I remember those. That's them. Yep. Okay. The Kardashians' tax records must be looked at by the Department of Homeland Security. And Kim Kardashian personally models for Cat Stevens part-time. Oh, that's nice.

And a cameo by Cat Stevens. Does she also model for Yusuf Islam? No, no. Just Cat Stevens. A guy that doesn't really exist anymore. No. She does it in 1973 Berlin. Oh, okay.

So that would actually be Cass Stevens then. You're disputing his facts? Part-time in Chris Jeddah was the late Yasser Al-Fat's former mistress. And Rob Kardashian is secretly taking flying lessons on KSM in Guantanamo Bay's direct orders. Guantanamo,

excuse me, is sending out dir direct orders. Guantanamo, excuse me, is sending out dirked orders. My name's Guantanamo Bay! Fire missiles! It's a dirked order! And the Kardashians plan to pay for eye surgery

from Moolah Omar. And if it works, then they will work on the blind Sheik Rahsaan next. Okay. And Kim Kardashian personally paid for Johnny Walker Lynn's plane ticket to Afghan.

Plane ticket to a nice little knit blanket. Huh. Okay. Tribal region... Oh, Jesus. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm making this sound silly. And Kim Kardashian personally paid for Johnny Walker Lynn's

plane ticket to Afghan tribal region in 2001. Now the Kardashians have a jihad against me. Duh. I already escaped numerous assassination attacks by them on me, including a McDonald's attack in Nashville, Disney World in Nashville, Disney World assault, and Busch Gardens Jihad.

I love that rhyme. Busch Gardens Jihad. I love that rhyme. Busch Gardens Jihad. It's an attack. That just has such a good catch to it. And I barely escaped this episode because the defendants saw me spying on the Al Qaeda training, so Kim Kardashian launched

a rocket at me. Tune in next time. Same Gino Romano time. Bruce Jenner threw a grenade at my head and Khloe Kardashian tried to behead me. How?

I'm so scared of the defendants. I seek restraining orders against them. I'm a patriot not from New England but a Yankee slash Union because I live in both New York and Philly. Read between the lines, respectfully. Gina Romano, not

copyrighted for some reason. 143 Roebling Street, Suite 5, Brooklyn, New York, blah-ba-dee-blah-ba-dee blah-blah-blah. Also, I'm going to have some arsenic. So, read between the lines, like, because this is really... The actual case is in really

subtle subtext. If you choose every third letter, it's the actual real case. We need to get the Bible Code guy in on this. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just look at some letters diagonally and say, oh, it says OJ

was innocent. Bumgirl, would you take us through this very serious case? Received June 22, 2012. So this is, yeah, this is very recent. Wow. Okay. Gino Romano and all others, similarly situated.

Plaintiffs versus Kim Kardashian, a.k.a. Kimberly Noel Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom defendants. Preliminary injunction, temporary restraining order. Comes now

the plaintiff, all others similarly situated, facing imminent danger and bodily harm. It's official if you started out like a Shakespeare play, right? Comes now the man of Verona to the front. Defendants are involved in a mega

conspiracy. Defeatants. Defeatants are involved in a mega conspiracy. The defendants, a different bunch of people, are selling... Pure conspiracy. The defendants, a different bunch of people, are selling... 42 ounces of pure conspiracy. Conspiracy, conspiracy.

Not available in New York City. The defendants are selling illegal drugs in America. On 5-2-0-12, I was physically assaulted by defendant Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian at the CVS pharmacy on Bowen Kensington Street in Missoula.

So Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan were for some reason in Missoula, Montana. Yep. Outside of a CVS. It's kind of the hip place to be. On Bowen Kensington. The paparazzi were hanging out there. And then kicked that dude's ass. Yeah.

We gotta get on camera somehow. I know. But apparently there was a reason. Oh, okay. Gino Romano is a paparazzi investigative reporter for the website ui4dltumblr.com, and I've been tracking and following Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian because they've been involved in major drug trafficking and narcotic dealing in numerous United States locations.

And I was at the CVS in Missoula and personally saw Lindsay Lohan shoplift 123 cases of cold medicine in her blouse and Dior bag. Holy crap! You guys are big titties! Wow! Bumpy titties! Dang! And took the cold medicine to Kim Kardashian,

who was sitting in an idle Range Rover in the CVS parking lot where I put a listening device on the Range Rover and Lindsay Lohan was instructed by Kim to give the cold medicine to Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian at Khloe's home so they can use it to cook meth. All the defendants are meth dealers throughout the country. Lindsay Lohan has been selling meth and using the proceeds to pay off her criminal fines on her DUI case and to pay her attorney fees. Kim Kardashian sells meth to finance her plastic surgery,

including tummy tucks, lipo, lip injections, and butt surgery. Period. I was okay with it until the butt surgery. That's fucking sick. As a man of God, I think that... Butt surgery. Hello, would you like

this or butt surgery? I could go for some butt surgery. Can you just sort of tie it up? I hate pooping. I confronted Lohan and Kim at the CVS as I rolled up on their confronted... Wait. Oh, no, it's just doubled. Anyway, okay, sorry. I confronted Lohan and Kim at the CVS as I rolled up on their Lincoln Town car

and jumped out and told them, this is a citizen's arrest. Then Kim Kardashian stuck me in the left arm with her heroin needle and now I'm HIV positive because of Kim Kardashian. I think that was actually from the ball pits. Lindsay Lohan smacked me on the head with her bong and blew Mad Jowanna

smoke in my face. Which I got carbon monoxide poisoning. Then Kim and Lindsay tried to hide other drugs they had in their car. Kim swallowed 63 baggies of crack cocaine. And Lindsay ripped open a Ziploc of cocaine, which busted all over me and ruined my SWAT team jacket and bulletproof vest. And then Kim pulled out a Swiss Army knife. Wait, he was making a citizen's arrest, and he had a SWAT team jacket?

He's an investigative reporter! Does that honestly surprise you at this point? Yes, this is the only part I find problematic here. He's got his SWAT jacket on, his bulletproof vest and he's got his camera and his microphone and he's running up to Lindsay Lohan saying... No, he had a device in their car. Where are you going with all the cases of cold medicine,

Lindsay Lohan? She keeps saying, I'm not Lindsay Lohan! God damn it, I'm Grace Jones! Smacks him on the head. Blows some Magiwanna smoke in his face. Magiwanna smoke in his face Magiwana Magiwana but then Kim pilled out a Swiss

army knife and stabbed my thigh and now I walk with a limp then Kim Kardashian pepper sprayed me and ripped my Occupy Wall Street t-shirt off from under the SWAT vest? Yep and Lindsey jumped on my back and bit into my ear, which took a huge chunk off Tyson's...

Lie. Sure, yeah. And the defendants jumped into their car and slammed into me, which I got unconscious and got a contention. And sped off. They hit and ran me, and I spent three weeks at John Hopkins Medical Center drinking food from a straw,

and then Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan tried to cover up their crimes. They needed money quick, so they went to Khloe's house and picked up pounds of meth and took it all over the country to different places to sell, period. So that's where their money comes from.

Yeah. Let's learn a little bit where they sold it. Okay, good. Kim Kardashian sold meth, cocaine, and ecstasy in Walt Disney World, Busch Gardens in Tampa, McDonald's in Nashville. Busch Gardens in Tampa? Okay, good. Kim Kardashian sold meth, cocaine, and ecstasy in Walt Disney World, Busch Gardens in Tampa, McDonald's in Nashville. Busch Gardens in Tampa, I hear that's a great place to form a jihad.

At Goodwill Charities, Mr. Chow, to employees at the E! Network, to Lamar Odom, where Odom flipped the cocaine Kim Kardashian gave to him and resold it to Jason Kidd and Jason Terry for profit. That's the backcourt of the Dallas Mavericks, because that'll make this all make sense. Never mind. On a related note, I, Aslo, have videotaped evidence that Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father, got Kourtney Kardashian pregnant. I have the paternity test to confirm.

Pre-Gant. Oh, okay. Well, that's not as bad. She's not Gant. She's just pre-Gant. Paternity test to confirm. Pre-Gant! Oh, okay, well that's not as bad. She's not Gant, she's just pre-Gant. It's okay. But there's videotape evidence of it still, so I'm sure he has a leg to stand on. Oh, and he has the paternity test to confirm.

So, everything's set. And I'm so scared of the defendants, now they want to murder me. As opposed to before, when they tried killing me at CVS, now I fear going to Walgreens. Oh, no! That used to be outside of their jurisdiction.

We've got an extra L in there. Yeah, I didn't know how to... It's a place with green walls. Defendants are roaming this country armed and dangerous. Kim Kardashian has a secret sexual relationship with Julian Assange with WikiLeaks. Wait, wait, is that a three-song?

A secret sexual relationship with Julian Assange with WikiLeaks. See, and I was actually going to say that the idea of roving gangs of Kardashians terrorizing the country actually does sound genuinely terrifying. Yeah, I thought that's kind of how it worked, wasn't it? One final allegation. One of those individuals, the Kim Kardashian, Julian Assange, or

WikiLeaks, has been cyber-attacking my Gino Romano Facebook page and Johnny Sue Nami at gmail.com email. Oh my god! It's a tsunami of suing because it's spelled Johnny.

S-U-E-N-O-M-I He's a smart guy. It's if we couldn't tell that before. Email. Just to clarify, that is johnnysunami at gmail.com is an email. So please help me. I seek restraining orders and I plan on filing a police report with the Missoula Police Department.

I've been doing this before. Okay. I pray this court for relief. Respectfully, Boobies. Gino Romano. Boobies Romano here. Signing off for Jonathan Lee Richards. So the investigative website that he works for is called Oh Yeah Dude.

And it largely is just a Tumblr of screenshots of The Simpsons and Arthur and King of the Hill. Arthur? Arthur, yeah. Like Simpk. The cartoon, yeah. That's some relevant shit right now. That's popping. And animated GIFs of Aaliyah dancing.

Well, are you that somebody, Kim Kardashian? Are you that somebody? So, yeah, that's the photos that he takes, which has drawn the ire of the Kardashians. Okay, there was one more that... Because there was a whole trifecta of Kardashians. I think I'll skip the third one, unfortunately, just for time. But I just want to read, if I may, the last, I would say paragraph, but that's not accurate.

This man does not deal in sentences or paragraphs. No, he surpasses English. He's really transcendent. The last chunk of text. Okay, so I have an exclusive contract with Uh Yeah Dude, providing them up-to-date information of the Kardashian jihad slash torture against me and Riches. I seek a restraining order to shut down Uh Yeah Dude. Also, me and Riches have ancestors from Turkey, and defendants are harassing

me for a race, color, and creed, which is a hate crime. The courts need to help me. I am also looking for some sort of GPS monitoring on the defendants, so I KNO in the future if they are coming after me or Riches. We need fair warning. I am not sophisticated

as Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. Gina Romano prays for this court for relief. I'm not a bland actor who throws knives. So, you know, I'm defenseless against a website that has

to do with Arthur. Oh, God. Okay. So the final suit that we have is Mr. Gino dipping his toe into the oatmeal case. Bump Girl, just for anyone who's not familiar with the oatmeal case,

would you please just briefly run through what that was? Very briefly run through. Okay. Funny Junk is a crappy website that hosts other people's stuff. Like, haha, isn't it funny? The Oatmeal said, hey, that's my stuff. Give it back. Funny Junk said, oh, yeah, no, well, we're suing you.

And then the lawyer, when the Oatmeal said, that's ridiculous. I'm going to raise a whole bunch of money for charity, the lawyer who was acting for Funny Junk got really annoyed that he had been made fun of and countersued the oatmeal and the charities and the Indiegogo-type website that they were using. Yeah. All right, anyway, so Gina Romano needs to jump in here and just sort of crank this case up to the next level

The premier legal mind of his time Right yeah exactly I mean you know there's been a lot of sort of like Just shitty lawyering and just kind of farting around So you know he just wants to escalate things Alright This was filed on June 22nd 2012 Charles Carrion plaintiff

Versus Matthew Inman et al Defendants Gina Romano movent 2012. Charles Carrion, plaintiff, versus Matthew Inman et al., defendants. Gina Romano, movent. Movent. It's a real word. Comes now Gina Romano, with newly discovered evidence, moves this court to intervene in

this litigation as a plaintiff. I have juicy details related to this case. Post that shit on ohyadude.com. Well dished, sister. Yeah. On 6-20-2012, plaintiff Charles Carrion, there a hot cup of oatmeal in my face. Oh, shit.

Oh, sorry. He threw a hot cup of oatmeal in my face. Yeah. That was... I also have evidence taken on my iPhone of Charles Carrion setting wildfires with matches in Colorado. The matches originated in Colorado. I'm Gino Romano, and I have numerous AKAs on the internet, but it does not take a Einstein... Let me repeat, it does not take A. Einstein to figure me out.

Really? Because we're having some difficulty. Charles Carrion joined Al Qaeda on 2-14-12. Then Zawahri No. 2 told Carrion to file this bogus lawsuit against Inman. Me and Inman are

drinking buddies at AA meetings. Oh, yeah. I think you're doing those wrong. All right, everybody. Let us have a booze break here for the AA meeting. All right. And I'm starting a cult of crowd-feuding lawsuits nationwide.

Yeah. It's crowd-feuding. It's just a bunch of crowd-fudding. Crowd-fudding? Crowd-fudding. That's actually crowd-fudding. No's just a bunch of crowd-fudding. Crowd-fudding? That's actually crowd-fudding. No, footing would be two Ds. It's a bunch of people get in a group and go, ha ha ha ha.

Charles Carrion told me personally to file ten different Kim Kardashian lawsuits in ten different jurisdictions, and Carrion told me it does not matter that the courts ban me, because all's I have to do is file another suit with a friend-slash-associate-slash-cult-follower in their name. I file lawsuits nationwide because Carrion forced me to.

Oh, shit. Sometimes at gunpoint. Oh, shit. Others with a buck knife. Oh, god, well, shit! Possibly other knives, too. Carrion told me he is going to be Jerry Sandusky's appeal lawyer. Oh, shit. Possibly other knives, too. Carrion told me he's going to be Jerry Sandusky's appeal lawyer. Oh, shit.

I also interview in this case to inform the court that Carrion will use the funds, if awarded in this case, and will give to his friend George Zimmerman in Florida if this case is ruled in his favor. He really gets around. He knows everybody. He is E! Online. This guy's amazing.

The Coach Factory guy? What? The Men's Warehouse guy? George Zimmerman. It's the guy that shot the kid in the hoodie. Oh, right. Okay. You're going to like the way you look in that hoodie.

I guarantee it. He pulled a gun out first. I guarantee it. He pulled a gun out first. I guarantee it. So we can't let this happen. Carrion has also been giving pro se advice to North Korean troops. Sure. Because North Korean troops

have need for legal advice. They get fair representation there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Carrion also conspired with Jared Lee Loeffner in Tucson by brainwashing Loeffner and providing defense strategies. And Carrion had an affair with Amanda Knox at the Italian

Embassy Valentine's Day 2005. On June 3rd, 2009, Carrion murdered Carradine and Ty... What? And took his Star of David. Sure! On June 3rd, 2009, Carrion murdered Carradine and Ty... What? And? And took his star of David. Sure! That's why it was called David.

Carrion was named after Charles Manson. What? Sure. Yeah. Right. His name's Charles. Yeah.

I also personally saw Carrion shoplift at Staples in Tucson, typing paper used to file this lawsuit. This one. This one, yeah. He stole it from Kerion.

He stole it from me. I seek a restraining order against Kerion just in case he countersues me or defames my character in responding to my intervention by stating lies and unfacts about me. And unfacts! Unfacts. Yeah. They go hand in hand with lies. Double- And unfacts. Unfacts. Yeah. They go hand in hand

with lies. Double-cross unfacts. Because he only assumes who I am, but really has no clue. Oh, shit. Well, how could he not figure out Jonathan Lee Riches?

He's so easy to decipher. This isn't Jonathan Lee Riches, sir. No, God damn it. It's Gina Romano. What's wrong with you? Oh, I'm sorry. Respectfully,

Giant Reindeer 62012. Once again, that tiny kernel of truth. Like, Carrion just might choose to countersue him. No, it's a bird. No, no, that's a bird going, meh. Yeah, yeah, it really is. You're really good at making pictures of... I understand Gina Romano.

Yeah, yeah. You're really good at making pictures. I understand Gino Romano. I just love how I think Gino even loses track of who he hates and who he's against, because through that letter it was like, oh, Charles Carrion said it was okay. Actually, Charles Carrion is holding me up with a knife. A gun. No, a restraining order

against Charles Carrion. I hate him. I'd like to have this restraining order against him in case he's offended and attacks me because of this. A just-in-case suit, as they're known in the legal community. You know, I'd like to think that, actually,

Gina Romano, a.k.a. Jonathan, I think he's been really successful, because he does a restraining order against everyone, and now he's in jail. So, problem solved. Actually, he's out of jail. Oh, really? He just started this Kardashian shit immediately before being released.

He just got out of jail and now he has a blog spot. And his current suit is he's suing Trayvon Martin. I don't know what he's going to get out of Trayvon Martin. Oh, wait. Knowledge of the afterlife, maybe. I'm really wondering whose house he broke into to take that picture.

But he also doesn't like George Zimmerman, so I'm like, who's starting you on, man? Hater's got to hate. He doesn't take sides other than Jonathan Lee Richards. He hedges his bets quite frequently, let's be honest. And that's how I got these lonesome Johnny Blues. How I got these lonesome Johnny Blues.

Got the lonesome Johnny Blues and there's nothing I can do except sing this sad or weary lonesome Johnny Blues. And there we go. Round about an hour of our best possible example of why we need tort reform. Boots, what'd you learn this week? I learned that there's no end of fun that can be had in bogging down the legal system.

Yeah, and no end of fun both for us and for Jonathan Lee Riches himself. He must be really having a blast doing this. Yeah, say what you will about his spelling and his grammar and his penmanship. You can read that, and that is clearly a guy that is having a ball. He is having more fun in prison than a gay man with no standards. Something occurs to me when you look through these lawsuits of his. He claimed that he met Bernie Madoff on eHarmony and taught him identity theft skills.

Yeah, he tries to do Guinness Book of World Records to prevent them from naming him the most litigious individual. I mean, this is a guy who... Like, my first thought is he has such a drive and a creativity that could be better spent in other pursuits. But then I realized, I can't think of a better pursuit than that. Like, he has made lawsuits his art form,

and he is quite the auteur, I think. It could honestly be said, with the scale at which he works, he's accomplishing great works. He's more prolific than Aaron Sorkin, and he writes a whole lot better I'm not going to disagree and if you're looking for something to write

I recommend you go to thefpl.us and leave a comment on this episode or any others that you might have liked or hated either way it's fun for us tell us what we've done to harm you and we'll see you next week hopefully goodnight morning I don't know when you listen to this Yeah, tell us what we've done to harm you. And we'll see you next week, hopefully. Good night.

Morning. I don't know when you listen to this. Maybe you listen to it like it's one of those things you have in your sleep, and then it gives you subliminal messages. Yeah. In which case, never listen to the Dragon Dildo episode. He left me with these lonesome Johnny Blues. Left me with these lonesome Johnny Blues. Left me with these lonesome Johnny Blues.

With the lonesome Johnny Blues. And there's nothing I can do except sing this sad, old, weary, lonesome Johnny Blues. Johnny Blues. Sad, old, weary, lonesome Johnny Blues. Johnny Blues. Johnny Blue Sad and weary lonesome Johnny

Blue Anyways, go ahead. The Cowfucker and its wretched frocked colleagues denied litigants' allegation that since the final judgment in the case was signed by Mary Moran, it is not a valid final judgment. Oh. article 3 judge like chief judge zucchini patch slave master ann l aiken or senior judge michael hogan and not by mere magistrate like coffin and certainly not by court staff like forger usdc orso 2009 14 11 maybe 12.09 more rams