The F Plus - 81: Fear And Loathing of Las Chicas

Episode Date: August 20, 2012

As each generation ages, it looks back on the mistakes of generations before and tries to make changes. As a result, the status and politics of gender are in constant upheaval, as men and women are constantly redefining what it means to be a member of their sex. Learned sociologists have explored what it is to be a man, and our subject for this episode is not one of them. Instead, we're reading the musings of Michael Byc. He considers himself an alpha male as well as a writer, though we're left to guess which of these two things he thinks he's better at. This week, we're all wearing sandals.

Pua guys constantly talk about how like, oh yeah, I'm just gonna leave as soon as I'm done fucking her, like... Oh my god, yeah, not one of us has ever said I love you while not meeting it. Jesus Christ. I've never done that. I don't know what you're talking about, sir. I'm just... How dare you! Oh my god.

First things first, I pop freaks all the honey, dummies, playboy bunnies, those wanting money. Those are the ones I like, they don't get Nathan, but penetration. Unless it smells like sanitation, blah, blah, I turn like doorknobs. Hot, throb, never, black and ugly as ever. However, I say Gucci down to the socks, rings and watch filled with rocks. And my jam not being a Mitsubishi. Hey there, this is the F+, Terrible Things, Red with Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. And I'm Isfahan. And my jam knockin' the Mr. B-sheet to be going out, Isvan and I, after this recording. And if you're a lady in the area, then look out, because you're going to get fucked.

I mean, literally, we're going to put dicks in you. Hopefully you'll concede. It's not even your choice. Once you see these frosted tips I've got on my hair, it's over. And so we've had some advice, some help.

And this was actually one of our friends and So we've had some advice, some help. And this was actually one of our friends and former race ridiculous winner, Montreth, introduced us to a guy whose name is Michael, and his last name is spelled B-Y-C. So for our purposes, we're going to refer to him as Mike Bike. Mike Bike is his club name. Because everyone wants to ride him. Indeed. So, Mike Bike, tell me a little bit about Mike Bike, won't you?

Well, Mike Bike, you know, we got some good tips from Roosh V way back in the day, but you know, there were some flaws with his approach, and most of those flaws centered around how he was too subtle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't really confront his own hatred of women. I guess he was a little shy about it, but Mike Pike, no.

He incorporates his hatred of women wholeheartedly into his approach. He embraces it. You know, he's, as many sociologists will talk about, the modern man sometimes shies away from thinking that all women are brainless cum buckets. But not Mike.

No. Mike heard the cry of women. They want men to be more honest, and man, did Mike deliver. So that's what we got for you. Mike Bike fancied himself a novelist at the age of 17. He fancies himself a

consultant at his age of whatever it might be. And then he also considers himself a, you know, a PUA blogger. Yes. So we're going to be exploring all avenues of that. And if you're a lady and you're listening, you're going to probably feel worse about yourself.

He is truly a renaissance man. All right. Readers, assemble! Why dresses this and diamond necklaces? Stretch lexus is the sexiest gesture. Maculit from the back. I get deeper and deeper. Help you reach the climax that your man can't make.

Call him, tell him you'll be home real late. And sing the break, uh In the room tonight we have Isfahan Landed in Sauerkraut I did Next to some big purple kazoo Portex Unemployed but an artist can be measured The same as a guy who is fat with a yacht

Bunny bread The white man is trying to hold me back He can't accept that we Vulcans can be their masters. They be giving my baby to the KKK. Boots ring gear. My alpha-dumb is alpha-dumb. And lemon. Look at Rainn Wilson utilizing the alpha-dog pose.

Dwight is the alpha-dumb. Yep, yep, yep. That's what they aspire to. Dwight is the Yep Yep That's what they aspire to Alright so I I want to introduce you to our subject for this evening. It's a particular PUA by the name of Michael Bike. Mike Bike. Mike Bike.

So Michael Bike is a PUA. He is also an intellectual. You said it as if you had. That's a redundant statement there. Yeah, sure, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They study the science of pussy. But Michael Byke, he wrote a book when he was 17 years old. Whoa.

So just to give you, I mean, just to sort of start out and introduce us to the concept of Mike Byke. Portex, if you just want to just take, I guess, the first, like, page and a half of his book. Just so we can get a flavor of who we're dealing with here. Colonel Perspicacity by Mike Mike, age 5, or however old he said he was. 17! 17, right. Okay, so this is chapter

Directions to Ted's. A tribute to drugged Gonzo. Good. Hey, you know what I did, guys? I read a Hunter S. Thompson book. Hey, guys, I read a Hunter S. Thompson book. Everyone needs to know about it. Really? Because the way these words are mashed together,

it's more like I read a fucking Mad Lib. Yeah. It's like I am already not following this guy. Yeah. So you're trying to say that you're the pseudonym of Hunter S. Thompson? I don't fucking... I don't get it. Alright, go. Alright.

I was walking down that alley. You know which one. The one right next to Marvin Slumberhut. Oh, Marvin Slumberhut. Yeah, it's next to Showbiz Pizza. The sun's smiling at me because it's solid. It's child into life

of slavery on a tater? Taunt? Oh, wait. No, no, no. That hyphen is really long. That's an em dash. It should be a hyphen. Yeah. Right, yeah. Okay. Well, I'm gonna read it how it's typed. The sun's smiling at me cause it

sold its child into a life of slavery on a tater. Taunt farm so it could buy the barbecue sauce to fake a tan, because everyone wants to be dark. Yep. Oh, well, I'm following. Yeah, I'm not lost at all. Yeah, I know how to get women.

Okay. Dark or dirty looking, whatever you dig, since it is what pretty boys in spikes like, dirty little girls, so I guess the BBQ sauce must have ran out at Key Food. No barbecue for some, I guess. Yeah? You know, if you had told me that

the Get It Told real-time guy had typed this, I'd believe you. I guess this is all just written for the local audience, so... I guess he had to have been there. Wait, this is a book. Never mind. Speaking of... I mean, it's a published book, there. Wait, this is a book. Never mind. Speaking of... I mean, it's a published book, too.

It's got its own ISBN. Oh, well then. He's typing a fucking bootling or something. It happened three days ago at the Motel 8 inn. I had a present... Yeah, you couldn't say Motel 6, because, I mean, that would turn into a whole legal problem. Yeah.

Well, you know, for the one particular location, Motel 6, Super 8, combined together, the quality of both establishments has been merged. Oh, I thought this was like him creating this universe. And throwing a little red roof in for some credibility. Yeah, sure. No, this is two better than Motel 6. What's going on here? I had a presidential suite, they called it.

It was nothing short of a haven for the insects that crawl through our coffins once our bodies decompose so that the flowers may grow for the little boy to pick for his girlfriend while they lie on a hilltop in the throngs of hormones that have invaded and overthrown their mental state. That's a lot of words for people have fucked in this bed. It just says it has bugs in it. So people haven't fucked in this bed? Why are you disagreeing with it? Bugs have fucked in this bed.

Herbie the fuckbug. Love. Starring Lindsay Hohan. Love, I think they called it. Too bad it is simply the body's way of saying reproduce we need more too bad the body doesn't understand we got china and india that are the kings of babies yes that and the nikes on my feet my nikes are the kings of babies babies bow down! Goo-goo, ga-ga!

Scepter is a giant rattle. I have shit myself. So say it. My Nikes aren't really that new. I got them at a thrift store down by the docks in New York City. Before I walked around and rats that braved the seven seas crawled over my feet, Oprah calls that empowerment. Yes, but the chills of October came down.

Upon my toes were frozen and peeled off. I needed shoes to stay hip. Nikes were the way to go. Oh dear. Well, he definitely got hipster cred for buying them at a thrift store on New York docks. Yeah, that way it doesn't support the man. Yeah.

Yeah. I think they were from the 80s and some hipster bastard punk looking kid was pissed that I got them before he... Before he... For he wants to be retro damn bastards. Say for he, for he wants to... Okay, sure. Portex, I'm going to regret this very much, but please read one more paragraph. Okay.

I can do this. Don't you worry about that. Wow, you're into this one. Yeah, it doesn't make any fucking sense. Well, no, see, while I was sick, I was, like, hallucinating shit that didn't sound like anything. And this kind of sounds like what was going through my head. So it's kind of funny to see something outside. Wait, what were you sick? This was written during a fever dream, I can believe it.

Yeah. At the motel, I wandered till the free continental breakfast was opened to us. Why is it continental? There were no Idaho hash browns. They lied to me again. The hash browns lied to me. I don't know why I'm

specifically pointing that out, but there was a problem with this story. How I hate Big Brother and his need to know what's in my pants. Damn surveys. After eating a bagel and talking with a man Were they asking if hash browns were in your pants?

No, no I didn't. No, don't start? No, I did not I have to go All of a sudden I have a meeting For the first morning of my adult life I was without Idaho hash browns in my pants Damn you, big brother I hate your show

Fuck you Is this bug you? Is this bug you? I'm not putting hash browns in your pants Damn surveys Fuck you. Is this bug you? Is this bug you? I'm not putting hashbrowns in your pants. Damn surveys. After eating a bagel and talking with a man that came here all the way from Mexico and lost his money while dancing a naked dance on the bridge that connects to Brooklyn, I decided to visit this Coney Island.

It was desolate, they said, and full of ruffians. The place I wanted to be. Ooh, ruffians! Ruffians and ne'er-do-wells. Ne'er-do-wells? Some hooligans. A smattering of scoundrels. Or scallions. Let's not go overboard here.

Yeah, yeah, that's a bit strong. That's hate speech. I'm sorry. We're gonna edit this, right? R star star star stars. We meant literally wrapping scallions. No, I meant onions that really get down. Dear Red Lobster, I have your new marketing campaign.

Please make a checkout, too. The wrapped scallions are my improv troupe. You guys know about that. The place I wanted to be, I took the F there, and the first thing I saw was the ocean. Ah, yes, the blissful abyss filled with teeming life

and the wrecks of unfortunate sailors, the coral reefs made of their bones, and the grave of the Titanic, the tin can that wouldn't float. Wait, they dropped you off at the Titanic? Okay. This F train sucks. It just dropped you off in the middle of the Titanic, the tin can that wouldn't float. Wait, they dropped you off at the Titanic? Okay. This F train sucks. It just dropped you off in the middle of the ocean. So Coney Island,

the train that goes to Coney Island, which is called the F, which I'm not sure that's true, but I'm not gonna... It's the Motel F8. Okay, so the train that takes you to Coney Island took you to the bottom of the ocean somewhere, uh... Because Hunter F. Thompson wrote weird stuff, so I just fucking mashed my the train that takes you to Coney Island took you to the bottom of the ocean somewhere. Because Hunter F. Thompson wrote weird stuff, so I just fucking mash my face

on the keyboard like a goddamn retarded pug. It's just very subtle commentary on global warming. Yeah. This is the review of a Coldplay album, isn't it? See, this is what a negative review looks like.

I proceeded down the boardwalk when something overcame it. I believe the Buddhists called it enlightenment. Oh, the images. I stared at the sky and dragons appeared and it did aerial acrobatics that would have made the nymphs and angels proud. They swooped down and took the ice cream from a little boy.

Damn, these reptiles in the States need to feed them booze. That booze should be for the little boys across the sea who made up my French soccer ball. She's on autopilot. Shut her off. Emergency cutoff. Cortex is going rogue.

Cut their mic. Turn it off. Go to commercial. It's so difficult because, I mean, the entire book is like this. And so, like, you kind of want to read the whole thing. Wait. After a paragraph and a half, it then has the heading 1965. Where were we before?

Wait, I don't want to know. Never mind. Fuck that. Here's the first two sentences and the second to the last chapter. Pow! Kaboom! Kamikaze! Get the hell out of my head! Arrgh!

Well, okay, that wraps it up. Okay. You should really skip forward to story from three classes. Oh, God. I think you failed to properly pronounce the 27 exclamation marks that were in those words. Alright, Boots, take it.

Pow! Kaboom! Kamikaze! Get the hell out of my head! Arrgh! That was entirely more enthusiasm than this is worth. And then, a story from C-Class is the first sentence is, I do believe I was

hallucinating, but I have never taken drugs willingly. Yeah, and like... I doubt that, for some reason. This whole thing reads like fucking like the Cloud Cuckoo Lander entry on TV Tropes. Oh, God, totally. Like trying too hard. Yeah, just look at this. I busted rhymes like some Indian guy, and I stole Jay-Z's bling blow.

I sold it on eBay. His bling blow? That sounds like a body part or something. No, it's diamond-encrusted cocaine. Okay. It hurts like hell to snort that shit, but it's worth it. It's a bitch-ass. All right, so in addition, so Michael Vick, I'm sorry, Mike Bike is a...

Idiot. He's a man about town. So he might have written a book, but he also has a consulting firm called, cleverly enough, Michael Bike Consulting.

Really? It's not called something like Stainless Steel Parachute? Yeah, I was thinking... I have to rotate my head 90 degrees to the left to be able to do this. Alright. Sideways. His sight is sideways.

Some of it is, but some of it isn't. You gotta keep rotating your head is the problem. It's all done in Flash, because that's how you do things. So, Isfahan, if you will click on the sideways who button. Boing, oing, oing, oing.

It goes bouncing. That's cute. I like that. But I like that it doesn't boing right away. It has to load the page first. And it also does a shitty blur because it's not a vector. It's a bitmap. Anyway, if you will take the question that I think is on all of our minds,

who is Michael.Bike, and why the fuck is that dot there? Well, I am a mindset curator. Oh, God, shut up. Sorry. He is a mindset curator, though. What the hell does that mean? And he lives in your basement. What are you guys doing to me on a Friday? We all float down here.

Let me consult for you. I understand that this is an odd and somewhat loquacious and vague term. Some have called me a life coach. Others refer to me as a lifestyle consultant. Still others call me a fucking retard.

Have people called you by any other names? I think some and others need to be in quotation marks. However, my role is different from what you've heard of before. I am not here to help you discover your look or what clothes to buy. Okay, I wasn't fucking asking.

Hey, idiot! Tell me what to wear! First, I will explain to you who i am not i am not here to convince you of living a certain lifestyle i am definitely not here to teach you how to succeed in your relationships well now the intro bit from every single amway salesperson ever now hang on i am here to help you discover the mindset necessary for you to live the life you want.

That's the most non-committal consultant ever. I'm here to make a good happen. I'm here to make you achieve happiness, or not. Flip through this binder of motivational posters and then I'll just collect my check. Within each of us is a vast reservoir

of potential that for a variety of reasons may never be tapped. This is mainly due to a person's inability to develop the mindset that allows them to tap into that potential. Words mean things. That's right. And you're going to listen to more of them. My role in all of this

is to help you find inspiration within. Similar to a curator, my mission is to help the rest of the world see the greatness within you. What do you mean, similar to a curator? You just called yourself a curator. A curator is similar to a curator, yes. I am such a curator. I am a curator, and I'm also similar to a curator. I'm a janitor. My job is similar to that of a janitor's. Also similar to a curator. I'm a janitor.

My job is similar to that of a janitor's. No, he's such a curator that he actually overflows in curatorhood, and he also becomes similar to a curator. Oh, wow. This isn't like R. Kelly trying to explain an echo. I mean... Yeah. Actually, this is more intelligible. But anyway, I am here to help you recognize and develop the mindset

you require to fulfill your dreams, aspirations, and goals. I think this is actually just placeholder text that he didn't even bother to write. This is a Latin original. Yeah, a dollar estimates. What is the fluffiest way I could possibly say motivational bullshit? It is easier for an outsider to see your strengths, weaknesses, and recognizing your potential. My mission is similar

to that of Tiger Woods' coach or Hemingway's editor. Because you're just like them. You cash checks? To spend 10%. To unleash what is within and showcase it to the rest of the world. So yeah, that's pretty much what it is.

I want to get paid to do nothing. That entire thing was just I am here so that way you can find out something good will happen so you can do a good thing. What do I do? Well, I don't do this. What do I do, though?

No, I still don't do this. Yes, I do. I think this is the calling for Michael Downard from eHelp, is to be a mindset curator. There you go. That'll give you $1,000. Yeah. One more for you, Isfahan.

A question that I find myself screaming. Why? I just clicked on why, and I'm genuinely surprised that it just doesn't say why not. Yes. That would be not enough words. Every day, the adjective, you realize that you have become easily replaceable. You are tired of the drudgery of your day.

I'm picturing peasants with torches and pitchforks raising them up and saying yeah after every sentence. It's like a really weird, like, supervillain. You have dreams, goals, and aspirations that you have continually been putting off. You're tired of being the person that lacks any distinction from the person next to you.

You do not want to care what other people think. Yet you want to be known as distinct. Okay, got it. And here's better Connie Marshall. You hate fluorescent lighting. Conformist lighting! You want carpe diem to actually be a reality

rather than a cliche saying heard at graduations. What graduation would be such a cliche that they would say that? You want to leave behind a biography rather than an obituary. If you are still unsure of how I can help, or if you are still unsure of

all this in general, then perhaps my writings can offer some answers. No, they can't. Your writings offer questions, but no answers. Why is selling wrong? Give me 250 words while selling bad. I'm sorry, selling. So, yeah.

So, Mike Mike, he lives in New York City, and he can have a face-to-face consultation with you if you are also in New York City, but if you're not, he will do it on Skype for you. Oh, is he going to be like a guest? Well, shit, drag him into the call.

Yeah. No? Okay. We'll do without him. So, do you remember that part where he said that, oh, what was it? I am definitely not here to teach you how to succeed in your relationships? Yeah. I didn't believe him at the time. Well, that may be true.

He has an entire site where he tries to teach you how to put your penis into ladies. That's not relationships now. That's not a relationship. Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. For a Pua, that's considered a relationship. That's more like a plea bargain. So I don't know what Michael Byke looks like, but I hope he looks like the photo on this page, which is titled How to Peacock.

Jesus. That's not quite... Okay, never mind. I won't ruin this for you. I see not one shade of blue on that. That's how to bear, I think. How to Christian bear. Look at the...

Oh, this is Christian Mingle Bear. Okay. It's actually the cover of the Pogues Peace and Love album, if the Pogues were also white supremacists. Sure. Yeah, no, no. Actually, the guy here is Fedor Emelianenko. He's an MMA fighter and also noted white supremacist.

Oh, really? Well, I mean, he's never been... It's not like he has any tats on him or anything, but all of his management and a few of his coaches have been connected to various white supremacist. Well, I mean, he's never been, it's not like he has any tats on him or anything, but all of his management and a few of his coaches have been connected to various white supremacist groups. So, good job. Well, thank you, BunnyBread. I'm so glad you're here.

Have we seen any other MMA guys? Look, I knew some shit. Well, for that, would you please... Oh, man, on the recent post? Oh, wait, is this a review? Yeah, recent post. I guess he's reviewed Bang Poland. Right, well, Bang Poland.

Yeah. Yeah, one of the Bang books. Sweet. Oh, our boy Roosh? Yeah, our boy Roosh. Yep. Mmm. Even closer to singularity.

Yeah. If you plan on going to Poland, this is the only book you should pick up. If you plan on going to Poland, do it soon. It you should pick up. If you plan on going to Poland, do it soon. It also helps if you're not British and in a stag party. So, words for the something. God damn it, I was going to go be British. That is actually a very good review. It's a lot better than some of the reviews you've read before.

I personally verify the writing of Ruch V on the topic of Polish women. You verify verify what? Did you think like an imitator? As a Polish woman, the really confusing online personnel. Wow. Ruch V really nailed us. And then he nailed us.

Alright, Bunnybread, if you will teach us all how to peacock. Let's see here. But you already know so much. I'm always wanting to learn more. I feel like if you don't learn, you die. Yeah, true.

Okay, how to peacock. If you read these words, there's a great chance you are familiar with game and the PUA mentality. I'm sure some of you have overused negs and whatever else is out there. The PUA's did one great service, however. They've shown the world... Victimized women. Yes. There's not a crying woman that

isn't mine. They've shown the world... I did that! Yay! They've shown the world that you can attain what was once thought unattainable. Pussy? I mean, because clearly we've never reproduced before. Really?

Well, I think, you know, I never thought I could be that much of a douchebag. Thanks, Poo-A-Dee. Look at me. The Poo-As did one great disservice, though. They cured the symptoms and never cured the cause. Women? We never showed... the final solution. There are unfucked women in the world.

One popular Bua concept is the peacocking mentality, though I am not sure if it is still practiced on the level it was years ago. I haven't seen a furry hat in a while. Tell me it's not time to put seen a furry hat in a while. That is a shame. Tell me it's not time to put on our furry hats. Jesus Christ. Gotta take mine out of storage. When I first learned of this concept,

I was incredulous. I would not be caught wearing a furry hat. No, sir! I would not take off my furry condom, neither. Or my fursuit. That's what they mean, the fursuit heads. Walking around with just the tiger head.

I feel a lot less awkward reading this now. Doing the pistol point? No, I'm a high school mascot. I mean, whichever turns you on more. Don't worry about it. I like the way that I think your nose wrinkles underneath that fursuit. I like the way your muzzle wrinkles.

There it is. Much better. Thank you. I had blue hair in middle school and looked like an idiot. Never again will I look like an idiot. Never again will he have blue hair in middle school. Now it's a full buddy. I graduated from middle school last year. Thank you.

However, I began to realize that humans peacock naturally. They grow blue feathers. I think peacocks peacock naturally, but whatever. When a man walks by a female, he subconsciously stands straighter and puffs out his chest. Posture. If you want to become a greater peacock, become an apex predator. Eat women!

But eat a parabola. Peacocks are predators. What the fuck? What the hell are you talking about? They breathe fire. Wait, I'm beginning. Yeah. Wasn't there a Pokemon that was a peacock?

If you want to become a better peacock, eat a shark. Yeah. Well, every peacock has a little hawk in them. You want some? Okay. Become an apex predator. Silverback gorilla. Not a predator. Silverback, gorilla, lion. Those are not a predator.

Gorillas are vegetarians. No, they fuck their fruit and vegetables. Lion. Predator. Yep. Komodo dragon. Honey badger. I don't think honey badgers are predators.

Yeah, yeah, they totally fought a peacock once to the death. Okay, fair enough. Study these animals. When they walk, there is a level of explosive power that is waiting to be utilized to crush their enemies. They are nimble. So, knuckle walk like a gorilla. I'm actually recommending that people walk like silverback gorillas. And Komodo dragons, grow a tail.

Grow a tail and lie down for 23 hours of the day. Yeah, squat down and have your arms and legs sprawled out and then just kind of flail around when you walk forward. If there's one thing poo-a-douchebags like to do, it's tan. That's a good point. Anyways, you can see that they are nimble, not lumbering. These beasts lazily look

around them, unconcerned at the other animals. Unconcerned, even though men the whole point is that they're subconsciously noticing women and straightening up. Oh, fuck this. They do not worry. When tested, they disembowel their enemies. It's just what they do. Just trust me.

Excuse me, sir, would you like to take a test? Oh, shit! This metaphor is falling apart very randomly. Carcasses remain as a warning. Right, because Komodo dragons are the lad, the impaler. Yep. Peacocks are not high on the food chain.

Wait, they're not? Shh. Just quit there. Oh, their plumage may allow them to sire progeny, but those obtrusive feathers also get them killed. Who was told the fats that all they needed was nail polish and quirky clothing to become women. Fats Waller,

fats Domino. Fats Minnesota. Is that seriously a thing? The poo was pooing just like, okay, so yeah, you're overweight. Don't worry,

you can still bag a girl. You don't need to be nice or helpful or sweet or anything. Nail polish. And also dress like an idiot. Now I'm fat and I'm dressed like an idiot! I actually feel like that might be a tenet that Mystery would tell people.

Yeah, but chicks let their guards down around what they think are gay guys, so that's how you slip in. Oh, I see. I'm telling you all you need is to stalk through the world with an aura of unbridled power. An apex predator is cool and confident, always in command, with graceful elegance. Muscleheads lack this.

They may be threatening, but they are not apex predators. They lack grace, and more importantly, functional strength. Yes, they're muscleheads and they lack strength. It's because their heads are not functionally strong. I mean, if you have a strong head, what can you do with that?

It's also, I mean, I just think that it is worth mentioning to the listener that every paragraph is a maximum of two sentences. Yeah. Yeah. They win easily when in a fight, these strength heads. I've always been a big guy, and any bouts with others I won due to physical luck. Physical luck? Physical luck? That's different than emotional

luck. Yeah, social luck. You wake up in the morning, oh, thank God I'm happy today. Count my blessings. Dodged a bullet there. Then I started going to bars and recognized that smaller guys may start picking fights with me. Napoleon defense.

I was not confident in my ability to fight. Began training in Muay Thai. My natural strength allowed me to lift heavy things, but I could not lift myself up a pull-up bar. Calisthenics introduced something. They introduced periods to my life.

Pull-ups sucks. So, how is this about gorillas? How is this about women? So far it's been about you and other men. Wait, wait, wait. While girls, yep, girls, have mentioned that there are times I glide through a room. Still took pretty long. I glide at all times.

So that's why I buttered the entire room. No. Hey, bitch! He's an apex predator. Like, the mighty sugar glider. Apex predator. Yoga and dancing lessons attended.

That's how you get butch. Now that he can do the fox trot and bend his legs real good. So he's concerned what other guys think of him. He goes to you get butch. Now that he can do the fox trot and bend his legs real good. So he's concerned what other guys think of him. He goes to yoga and dancing lessons. Sure, yes. The two things are not at odds. There's a reason why prisons are the training grounds for apex predators.

What? Because horrible criminals go there? Yeah. If you want a guy that's really good at picking up women, go to a penitentiary. Like actually picking them up. Right, actually picking up women. After cutting their heads off. And dropping them off bridges.

They are forced to survive by training their bodies and minds against constant threats. They are constantly tested and raped. We on the outside are blessed with a safe existence. Yet we must not allow ourselves to become slothful. Threats are everywhere. Wait! Right behind you! Ah!

Ah! Ah! No! No! Don't do that. That's scary. Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Worry about functional strength. Do not bother your mind with vanity muscles. Forget the furry hat. Hit the gym. So, I don't... Okay. Yep. He's just saying work out without the furry hat. Are you about So, I don't... Okay. Yep.

He's just saying work out without the furry hat. Are you about to say I don't understand what's going on? This goes beyond that. Because he says you want to pick up women,

beat the shit out of things. Right. Yeah, because that's what women like, right? When they see two guys beating the shit out of each other, they're like, well, shit,

one of them's got to get fucked now. The winner, I guess. I don't know. The winner's got to get fucked now. The winner, I guess. Winner's got to get fucked. They're not elephants, they're women. What the fuck is happening? Guys, I'm... Sorry, hey. Hey, hey, guys. It's LP here. Yeah, hey, LP. How you doing? Are you doing good? I have a really

important and relevant question to this. Yeah, sure. What kind of kickboxing would you recommend for someone that is slim and not so tall, 5'9"? Oh, I have an answer for your question. I have an answer for your question. Okay. My name is Fly Fresh and Young.

Couldn't agree more. In today's landscape, surrounded by multitudes of beta schlubs, beaten down, fat, slumped over, confined to a meter of existence, standing tall, heavy eating, excellent posture, economy of movement, Okay, so... So be beaten down? Shut up. Guys, I'm Chad Daring. Yeah!

Chad Daring. Woo! Chattering. Chattering. At work, I've been told that I walk like I'm on a mission. I don't know how this is related. No, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Sorry. When people say that, they say, hey, babe, you walk like I'm on a mission. Yeah, walk like I'm on a mission. Yeah, I walk like. In quotes. Yeah, I'm on a mission is in quotes. At work, I've been told that I walk, I'm on a mission is in quotes. At work, I've been told that I walk like, I'm on a mission.

I don't know how this is related to what you've written about here, but so far I'm taking Gia to the compliment. I'd love to start some form of martial art. Soon. Also, glad I'm not the only guy who did the crazy hair thing. I'm high school. Cool post, bro. My ex-wife said that I had a big dick.

Goodbye. I want to talk about me, but I'm not even going to try to fold it into what you were talking about. I'm very tall. Thank you. So let's say you're not a masculine, masculine

man. Shut your mouth. Okay. In case you are, Mr. Boots Reingear has some advice for the baby-faced. Yeah, I do. Oh, Boots is baby-faced as shit. Yeah, Boots is totally baby-faced. Look at that.

Are you fucking baby-faces? This post was written three days after Christmas. Good. Okay. So he was trying to pick up chicks on Christmas, wasn't he? Dear Santa Claus. Dear... Reminder for the baby faced.

If you are male, your early 20s are the doldrums of your life. What? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they were awful. Your early 20s are the doldrums of your life. I hated never getting drunk, never getting high, and never getting laid when I was... That was an experience I had, so therefore it is an experience that you have. All those facial and aging creams are there so people don't look like they're in their early 20s.

They can't try to recapture any part of their early 20s. You most likely have a baby face. You're too young to be taken seriously. You have to rely on the experience of others instead of your own. You are too young to have any substantial wealth unless your family gives it to you. Unless you write a book like me. It's like Todd. I hate Todd. All you have is time, your own will, and your ambitions. family gives it to you. Unless you write a book like me. It's like Todd. I hate Todd.

All you have is time, your own will, and your ambitions. And your youth. And your youth and the ability to get laid and very few health problems. The truth is that you were stuck between childhood and people recognizing your potential. You know when you're older and people point out your potential? Yeah. You know when that happens, right? When you're about 40. Man, you can go places.

When you're 50 years old and people keep saying, man, you have so much potential. I know you're going to retire in two years, but there's an opportunity that I would like to present you with. Retiring now. When you're 35 and your parents say, I know you're going to find the right thing for yourself. No one wants to hear you until you've spent the hours and blood building something you can sell.

Like the thing you described on your website? Selling I'm going to make you have a good thing happen? Yeah. Why isn't everybody doing that? It's ridiculous. Anyway, as far as society is concerned, all you are good for is cannon fodder. Expendable.

That's religious cannon fodder. Or fanfic cannon fodder. Yeah, right, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, as opposed to non-canonical fodder. All you are good for is being written about in slash fiction. There's perhaps no more disregard... Sorry.

There's perhaps no more disregarded demographic than the early 20-year-old male. Nobody advertises to us. Nobody questions us about anything. How's your demographics? Oh, not too good. We appeal to 18 to 25 year old men.

Fuck it. Wow, that's a black hole right there. You know how every movie stars an elderly black lady? I am so sick of that. I want a movie that speaks to me. The government does not care for you.

Society pushes them to the wings. You know, the them. Yeah. The government. Society pushes the government to the wings. It is the worst of limbo's, for all it does is breed anxiety and fear. Uncertainty personified. What?

That's what I named my cat. Apparently that was, yeah, both uncertainty, whatever. Yeah. As a 20-year-old, you are taught to be afraid of not having a female presence in your life. You know? Sure. Lacking employment and the potential of never attaining the success of your parents in terms of material wealth. Straw men.

They're so oppressed. Which is the name of my parents in terms of material wealth. Straw men. They're so oppressed. Which is the name of my other cat. As a 20-year-old, you are told that these are the best years of your life and all the freedom that you have. False tongues. That's not the name of my cat. Oh, it is? Oh. I've been calling

them the wrong thing. I'm sorry. These can never be the best years of your life. And you very rarely have freedom. So, if I can get this straight, I'm going to guess that Mike Bike didn't get laid when he was 20 years old, and he's very angry about it. That's not what I'm talking about. At all.

No, freedom requires financial independence. Oh. Best years of your life require you to not worry about finances. Which is what 35 and 45-year-old people do is they just go, oh, yeah, my finances are all set. I have money. I feel secure. I'm not worried about my next paycheck.

Yeah. I'm not worried about my next paycheck. Yeah. That's why that people, like, when they get over 30, everyone drops their prescription to Paxil. Because you don't have anything to worry about anymore. You're fine.

I've got a job now. What do I have insurance for? Right. Freedom equals money being deposited into your accounts. Simple math, people. Yeah, he is a simple math person. Oh, this is how Citizens United came down. He goes to a simple math class on the short bus.

Your 20s only offer one gift. An opportunity to build yourself away from the prying eyes of the haters. But they're gonna hate. It's science. It's science. It's true. Once you reach a certain age, people begin to question what you have accomplished.

When you attain a level of recognition, people begin to judge your constant move. Okay, you went from saying things that are just totally wrong to saying things that make no sense. So I guess that's progress? I was going to say, this is kind of turning back into his book that he wrote

three years before this. Your twenties offer anonymity from everyone. This is the time to build yourself. We are in a recession that does not look as if it will abate in the future. What's your cat's name?

What's your fourth cat's name? Seven Thin Cows. That's a terrible name. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you always smoke sherm before naming your cat? Well, the kennel clubs out there, you have to have a unique name if you're going to register your cat. So, I mean, come on.

Oh, yeah. We tried Fluffy, and clearly that was taken. We tried Mr. Boots, that wasn't taken yet. How about Seven Fat Cows? No, goddammit! I named all my cats Mr. Boots. Then I had to change them when I joined that stupid chemical.

What to do as you work soul-crushing jobs to pay bills? Maybe this guy's just afraid of hyphens. What to do when you want to get out of this town, but you have nowhere to go but your parents' basement? This is getting apostrophes.

I'm sorry, but your parents' basement? This is everybody, right? I'm positive I'm not just talking about myself. We've all been there, folks. I don't think there's any projection going on here. I'm every douchebag. It's only me.

No, it's not possessive, though. It's in your parents' basements. That's the basement where he keeps all the parents. That's where I keep your parents. Are you going to let me be free yet? This is the bathroom, and this is the bedroom, and this is parent storage. Well, that's a good way to, you know, if the

negs don't work, you know, by the way, I've kidnapped your parents and it looks like we're going to be having sex if you want to see them again. I'm not going to let you go until you let me be free. Then their heads explode. Well, no, I just asked three important non-questions and I have three sentences

that answer all of them. Oh, they're good sentences. Okay, good, good. If you were to name three cats in rapid succession, what would you name them? Oh, I'd name them Invest, In, and Self. They're all taking you, bitch! Damn it.

I hate this kettle club. Look towards the men of the Great Depression for inspiration. Sure. There's lots of famous guys from the Great Depression for inspiration. Sure. There's lots of famous guys from the Great Depression. There was Sully who died, and Joe who died. What helped them survive and then fight the Second Great War?

What? Mental, emotional, and physical stability. So you think that the people that survived the Great Depression were the ones that fought the World War II? Yeah. So the people... How old were they in 1918?

Shh, shh, shh, shh. Sorry. Okay. No, I'm sorry. You're good at math. You're good at math. Yeah. Take your early 20s and build your body.

Out of Lego. Build your body. On Second Life. This is the first. This is the first body? Oh, we're going to get in a cocoon later. Yes. This is the first of your early 20s, I guess. A strong body builds confidence.

Confidence breeds emotional excellence. Ooh, great. Second. No, wait. You can't second your own statement. You have to wait for somebody else. You're cheating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think this guy's got the right idea. Yeah, he sure does. He sounds awesome. Oh, and handsome. Emotional excellence allows for the mind to operate unhindered by personal diffidence. Master and Commander. Oh, my twin Siamese cats. Is that a movie?

Yeah. If your time was invested properly, you will have many rewards. The worst case scenario, you have developed your own masculine ethos. Your body? Solid. Your mind? Clear. Your emotions? Controlled. That is the worst case scenario. I hate when I just sort of like, you know, I kind of like get lazy

one day and all of a sudden I accidentally create my own masculine ethos. Yeah. Yeah, on accident. Like you trip and fall. Whoops. Oh god, I developed ethos. My body's broken. My mind's knocked out. My emotions.

I'm crying. Society wishes for you to suffer the brunt of its epicureanism. Oh, come on! No, no, he spent a long time looking that word up. You are so wrong! He was pumping his fist as he typed that one in.

Him and what's-his-butt from Penny Arcade need a make-out. Yeah. Oh, God. I'm not sure that this isn't that guy. While we're reading here, will you just search and see how often the word epicure comes up in Penny Arcade? Yes, I will. Thank you.

Awesome. If you waste your early 20s, you will find yourself succumbing to its shaming. Okay. Manning up is not buying a ring. Manning up is proudly displaying your chest mane. There's nothing more dangerous than a man with confidence. There's nothing more dangerous than a man that answers only to himself.

There's nothing more dangerous than a man that does not need society, but only himself. That's true. That's true. They shoot up theaters in Colorado. Yeah, they tend to kill people a lot. To get to heaven, you must traverse through hell. Wow. Damn.

Megadeth has never been awesomer. To get through heaven, you must traverse to hell. I think he typoed that second sentence and he meant to say, there is nothing more dangerous than a man that answers only himself. Who doesn't actually ask questions beforehand, though. So I wanted to mention that in the Rush V episode,

we actually read a bunch of stuff about Rush V talking about feet. Ah, yes. Which he did a lot. Like, he discussed feet kind of at length. Yeah. Yeah, and shoes. And all of that just kind of ended up edited out just because it was kind of extraneous. Yeah.

But it's worth mentioning that Rush V wrote a lot about feet and open-toed shoes. So anyway, once again, we're reading the website of Michael Byke, and this post is called Your Feet.

It's no secret that females have an obsession with shoes. You know, females, females, others, not me. I'm totally not a chick. I have a stack of them on my head right now as a hat. I'm licking another four pairs of them. That's because there was some food on them. Just shut up.

Anyway, they have an obsession with shoes. They pile them into their closet as if they were rations for a nuclear holocaust. One has to wonder why. I have two theories. You have two theories. You have two theories.

Oh my god, oh my god, you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. Redo that. I have two theories. Oh! The mafia! Oh, feet. The mafia. Okay, okay. Feet are an erogenous zone due to all the nerve endings found there.

A pair of shoes may stimulate those nerve endings differently from another pair. I'm saying women are coming from their shoes. But, like, erogenous... And it only applies to women, I guess? Men have padded the hobbit feet, I guess? No, Portax, you may not know this, but male feet are numb. Oh, really?

Constantly. It's what all the footbinding we do at a young age. Males don't have nerves. No, period. They only end in one place. Since pleasure and pain activate the same part of the brain, No, period. No, male nerves do. They only end in one place. Since pleasure and pain activate the same part of the brain, a pair of painful heels may release endorphins.

BDSM on the go. There is nothing wrong with my theory. That's a really solid theory. I'm totally pre-men. Totally the doctor people. Because they're all masochists. Tell us more, Dr. Scholl. So if you see a woman and she's wearing shoes, she

lives the BDSM lifestyle. Well, no. She's wearing uncomfortable shoes. Oh, she's wearing uncomfortable shoes. Oh, if she's wearing comfortable shoes, she likes chicks. She's kind of how it works, yeah. And once again, if she's wearing Crocs, she is into everything.

Oh, damn it! I didn't know that about myself. Hang on, I'm gonna go suck all of the dicks in the world. Let us know when you're done. Maybe we could just pause the recording right now. Yeah, I'll be right back. I don't have enough hard drive space to fit.

And now, intermission. Refreshment time. And we're back! Alright, how was it? It was horrifying, and, uh... How was it? How was it? I enjoyed it. I'm okay!

Okay, okay, okay. Or it may be because shoes tend to fit, even if a girl puts on some chub. Unlike a dress. So that's a good theory. A dress is not classified as chub, so yes. The one thing that dresses aren't

is diaphanous, so it wouldn't, yeah. Okay, females thus have become very vigilant when it comes to noticing footwear. Females thus have become very vigilant when it comes to noticing footwear. Females, not males. Yeah, not, yeah, not. They are constantly on the lookout for new pairs. What their enemies may procure.

Fact-finding mission, period, not colon. Shoes tell much about you. Their enemies? Their enemies. All women are enemies of each other. It's just this Cold War scenario. The Russians have my tennis sneakers. The Russians have a pair of Manolo Blahniks.

Gee, I wish we had one of them Uggs. We must not allow a Gucci Gap. Yeah. A Gucci Gap. Oh, God. I am constantly amazed how many guys wear running sneakers when they aren't running. Flip flops outside of a sandy environment. Amateur hour.

Can I mention again how females are really... Fucking woman noticing other women's shoes. Yeah, they're always noticing that. And again, it's flip flops. That was like the thing that Roosh was pissed off about all the time, was specifically flip-flops. What the fuck is it with flip-flops?

That he hates them, or that he... Yeah, he kept talking about specifically he didn't like flip-flops. He tried to fuck a flip-flop once, and it's like, where do you put your dick? You can't, really. Well, I mean, really, for Roosh V, anything that's not clear heels are just, I mean, a waste

of time. Females associate a good vibe to the person who is wearing a good-looking shoe. Utilize this to your advantage. Have a number of shoes to use. Have pairs that are not

flashy, but have class. So not those light-up sneakers. Whatever. Sure. So. Not those toe shoes. Yeah, not the stupid shoes that come forward. Are you ready for a sneaker that makes a piggy sound every time you step

down on the eel? That's a reference for nobody. That's a reference for nobody. Okay, so anyway, classy shoes. Desert boots, saddle shoes, white Air Force Ones, and tassel loafers. Okay. Classy shoes, huh?

Yeah, classy shoes. There are fashion blogs that deal with this. Peruse them. Females always notice your shoes. Remember that. Look around you next time and see how many similar pairs you can spot. Individuality. Bold socks reign supreme.

I'll worship bold socks. Women are so obsessed with shoes. I'm going to talk about how much Yeah. Shoe care 101. Clean and crisp. Polished. Use a shoe horn. You're welcome, haters. What?

What was that last sentence? It's more projection. You ever notice how much women notice shoes? Yeah. So you're welcome, haters of shoes? Like... I don't know. Cavemen?

Because Roosh likes shoes, right? Rivelino says, Interesting theory. That had never occurred to me. For fucking good reason. I would have never thought of something that dumb. We're going to do an honest musing. So we're going to get honest here.

Isfahan, would you like to get honest with us, please? I don't know if you're ready for my honesty, but anyway. Ooh, real talk. 2012 has been quite an interesting change. I'm not sure what brought it upon, but once the clock hit midnight that Saturday night slash Sunday morning, the type of clarity came upon me. For the longest time, I was trying to top myself.

Not quite that flexible, but yeah, he was trying to top himself. He's just kind of slamming himself in the face. Then I was trying to top from the bottom, and that was even more difficult. Tried to be a power bottom while still... Since a youngin', I've been told that I was destined for greatness. A youngin'? Everything I did kept reinforcing the idea in those that knew me that I was beyond average. Potential's there.

Wait, is he? Is this the same person who said that nobody believes in you while you're in your 20s? Anyway. Perhaps this is what drew me towards becoming a polymath. What does that mean? I can do... He has math on his fingers? Yeah, I can do several problems at once.

If I remember correctly. Yeah, so some people just, you know, they get in relationships with trigonometry. Yeah. But they also want to fuck Algebra. I study all math. It's a love triangle. Yeah. But they also want to fuck Algebra. I study all that. It's a love triangle. Yeah. So, he's, you know, he's, it's someone who has, like, who's an expert in a lot of different things.

Oh. So, you know, like writing and unleashing your potential. And being a consultant. And typing beta over and over and over again. Yeah. I always wanted to have a good answer to any inquiry. I always wanted to be able to do that what the others could not.

To do that what the others could not, yes. We're out of sentence. My mission was to become as close to a demigod as I could. Arrogance. Well, mission accomplished, baby. You accomplished arrogance. You have just been M+.

End of the article, right? No, wait, no. That night as I wandered on back home from the revelries, a realization filled me. I was slowly slipping. In a few months, I could be just like those I'd always thought to separate myself from, the masses. Distinguished.

Why does he think that you can only end a paragraph with a single word sentence? No, no, no, Lemon. People have different writing styles, and then there's this guy. I think it's what you're talking about. I do not have a problem with the lives of the majority. However, I wish to live and leave a biography rather than a small obituary. You already said that.

I've heard that somewhere before. Oh, well. The question was how to get off the interstate and onto the country road. My first solution was simple. I decided to grow out my hair. I had a...

That'll do it. Okay, set. I'm famous. I had a glorious mane to match the one on my chest. I was at my creative peak. I saw the world... Wait a minute! I'm sorry, chest. I was at my creative peak. I saw the world. Wait a minute.

I'm sorry, sir. I cannot accept your painting into the getty. Look at how short your hair is. Look at you, Buzzcut. Please be gone. Well, then why am I still not famous yet? It's not enough to have a mane on your chest. You have to have one on your head as well.

What if I grew one from my chest and put it on my head? Ooh, like a chest comb over? That would be nice. That would count as pretty darn creative. Yep as well. What if I grew one from my chest and put it on my head? Ooh, like a chest comb over? That would count as pretty darn creative. Yep, well. I saw the world in a surreal way. I felt that life was a great big joke and I was the only one that understood the punchline.

Prankster. Well, he is a punchline. Yeah. The second solution came from my dear brother. I deleted my Facebook. It has been one of the most important decisions in my youth. I deleted my Facebook. That's exactly how inconsequential my life is.

Once I complete my thesis this April, I wonder what it is, I will replace my smartphone with a simple flip phone. Disengage. Well, why don't you get rid of your fucking phone, then, altogether? Flip phone. Why don't you stop writing? Disengage there. I have also decided to move back to Queens, the place that inspires me the most.

That's where all the alphas are. I did not realize until last year how miserable D.C. has made me. Every time I enter the city, I felt as if every ounce of my creativity and joy was smothered out of me. Self-vocation. How does your creativity manifest itself? It manifests in typing the same ideas over and over and over again on his website. I'm so creative.

Distinguished. I'm so creative. I want to leave a biography. I think he's trying to hypnotize us with text. I think that's what's going on here. He's repeating statements. He's got very short words and paragraphs. Is this like how he

picks up women? I think your shoes are really nice. Long hair. You're just like... Your nose wrinkles. Insult. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I think we have a lot in common. Ham sandwich. Holy shit,

why am I so wet right now? Last night as I was coming back from class, I came upon a realization. It didn't... I feel like I read that. Okay. The night as I wandered back home from Beverly's... Okay, yeah. Maybe he's restating... I don't know. Anyway, I'm gonna keep reading. The night as I wandered back home from Revelations. Okay, yeah. Maybe he's restating. I don't know. Anyway, I'm going to keep reading. He likes to... He's very much

into Revelations. He's so... Yeah, he's so creative that he keeps talking about his Revelations all the time. He has multiple Revelations per day. More Revelations than the fucking Bible at this point. Maybe a Revelation for him is just a thought coming into his head. Yeah, really, that's all there is to it. Oh my god!

I've got to get down all these revelations here. Okay, uh, chair. And, uh, chair again. Okay, okay. I have no primary sources of my life besides this blog. So that's citation needed. For the greater part of my life, I have been trying to leave behind a biography,

but have left no sources for my own biographers. Audacity. Thus, my next project is to purchase a leather-bound notebook to record my thoughts in a mode of experiences. Oh, good! I'm going to be one of those guys!

Oh, I'm going to write shit down! I'm going to conspicuously write in a coffee shop. Oh, good! I'm going to be one of those guys. Oh, I'm going to write shit down. I'm going to conspicuously write in a coffee shop. Right, yeah. I'm going to look up and tap the eraser of my pencil to my chin. Make sure people notice. At that point, women won't be walking towards you. They'll be flying at you, vagina fur.

Yes. Like a literal pussy magnet. Yeah. Dang! Oh my god, I came in here to get a coffee, but let me just suck your dick! That's a pro wrestling move. I've also decided

to start writing letters to a select few. Oh, to a select few, you get the privilege of him writing a letter to you. Oh my god. Writing letters to a select few. Oh, to a select few. You get the privilege of him writing a letter to you. Oh my god. A woman in prison. Writing letters to a select few notebooks? I guess. Dear Richard Ramirez, you are an elf.

I wouldn't be surprised if he actually just meant like Q-L-C. You like that? That's a P. Yeah, you can keep that. I'll autograph it for you. Every biography builds off a partial autobiography. Perspicacity. Wow, you really like that word,

don't you? That's not true at all, but... I've always made it a policy of mine to never plan ahead. I'm not sure where I will be come May 1st. Perhaps I'll be in Poland for a month, visiting family. It's possible I find

myself in Ukraine, reconnecting with my heritage. It's feasible that I may have a job and I begin... I may have a job by May 1st. Let's bet on Poland instead. He claims he's visiting family, but he's like, man, Roosh is banging everyone

in Poland? I'm getting the next flight out. It's feasible that I may have a job and I begin building myself a financial cushion to pursue a number of projects that I have sketched out. Uncertainty. All that I know,

all I know is that Ars Langa Vita Brevis. Oh, god damn it that Ars Langa Vita Brevis Oh god damn it Ars Langa Is the name of my cat The rims of my glasses Are thickening up even as I type this Are you feeling lethargic? Try Vita Brevis

Don't bite the dick It fucks you honey You got to learn to suck it funny I'm feeling lethargic. Mama, be proud of your daughter. Think of all the things you taught her not to go into the water. And there we go. Round about an hour of the things that are wrong with women. Isfam, what did you learn this week? You know, I actually learned quite a bit. I've been analyzing Mike Byke's advice, taking notes and everything. I mean, I'm kind of a shy guy.

I don't always know what to say to women, how to approach them, but I can take what Mike Bike has taught us, and I know that I can just refer to that and do the opposite. That's, yeah, Mike Bike, he leads by example. His is the worst example. Yes. He is the worst example. Yes. He is the goofus of getting laid. Absolutely.

And he writes at the highlights reading level, too. I was actually just right now looking at the back of the book that he wrote, um, uh, when he was 17. And, uh, the back of the book, uh, has five, five misspellings in the back of the book. But he does point out that he is not scholar. So, yeah,

well, how else would you know otherwise? Cause once again, once again, you don't need to tell, you just need to show. And if you're looking for scholarly people, you need to look no further than thefpl.us,

where you will find all sorts of users that are experts at so many fields, as long as those fields are kind of relegated to, you know, people that want to dress up as unicorns and eat people that are grotesquely obese for sexual pleasure. Goodness knows we need more of that. Yeah, I mean, you know, that's one thing the Internet's always lacking in, is weird, perverted freaks. Yeah, you know how hard it is to find subject matter for this podcast?

So please stop by the website, become part of us, leave some comments on the episodes. Tell us what you think. And if you come across anything that you think that we need to read, there is a submission form on the website. Right there, submit content on the top left side. And we can see what you wrote. Good night. Have a good one.

Keep peacocking! Yeah! The dick that fucks you, honey. Get a big good of you. Don't bite the dick, it fucks you, honey. You got to learn to suck it. Don't bite the dick, it fucks you, honey. Honey bread? I'm awesome.

I know. Oh, shit. Honey bread. Honey bread. I'm sorry, babies. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Okay, I'm just taking care of something. I was attending to Lemon's kid. Oh,. Honey bread. I'm sorry, babies. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Okay. I'm just taking care of something.

I was attending to Lemon's kid. Oh, okay. Good. How is she doing? Is she doing all right? You're deaf. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, I heard her from here. Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yep. She's all right now. She's got a beer.

All right. Nose her right out. Did you give her, did you give her, uh, like a stout? Cause she doesn't, she doesn't really like hoppy beer.

Oh, hang on, hang on. Oh, shit. You're going to get a bad review from her. Last time I gave her an IPA, she spat up.