The F Plus - 84: Elisha Cuthbert Has To Pee Sometimes

Episode Date: October 18, 2012

Explaining his methodology for creating tension in his films, Alfred Hitchcock said "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." This sums up the fetish of our subjects quite well, as long as you substitute "the bang" with "peeing". And substitute "terror" with "boner". And... well, you should probably misspell all the other words just to make it thematically appropriate. In this episode, we're looking at the writings of omoroshi fetishists — persons whom (for reasons known only to themselves) the idea of needing to pee is super duper hot. This week, you'll grit your death in agony.

Let's have a pee-pee! I'd rather be dead. I'd rather be dead. I'd rather be dead. Than wet my bed. I'd rather be dead. I'd rather be dead. Hey there, this is the F+, Terrible Things, Red with Enthusiasm.

My name's Lemon. And I'm Boots Reingear. Boots, how you doing this week? Oh, just great, just great. Good, good, good. You excited about, uh, I've got some, hopefully some funny stuff to read here. Should be a hopefully promising episode. Yeah, but even if we don't have any funny stuff to read, I've got this great story to tell you.

Oh, um, okay, well, a little bit off format, but that's fine. The other day I went to this really, really trashy bar. And we're all sitting around, drinking a lot of beers. And I have to go pee. Oh, yeah? I have to go pee really bad. So I go into the bathroom, and I go up to the urinal, and I start peeing. Oh, what the fuck?

What? You call that a story? Well, no, I haven't gone to the good part yet. No, yeah, you blew right past the good part. Like, I don't know how you tell stories up there in Canada, but here's how a story goes, right? Look, there's a sensible construction of it. What you do is you say, I have to pee, and then you just say that a hundred times. Okay, I am an Omaroshi fetishist, right?

Oh, right. You know what? You've told me this at least a million times. I would imagine that it should be kind of a foundation of our relationship at this point. Like, being an Omaroshi fetishist, you know, I can't imagine it's going to be a small factor. Right, right, right. It's now dawning to me that every single time we spoke, you've asked me how badly I have to pee on a scale of 1 to 97. Right, yeah, exactly.

So, omoroshi, you know, it's a Japanese term, so that's already a good sign. And it is people that have a specific fetish, not for peeing, this is not a water sports fetish, but it

is a fetish for wanting to pee. The idea of holding your bladder. Needing to pee. The desperation of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it just so happens that that's our topic, amazingly enough. Isn't that a weird coincidence? Probably not.

So readers readers assemble! In the room tonight we have Stog, Boyer.com Mary Gina Romano sits on the toilet, pees and wipes as a pervert watches her through the open window. There is no pee audio due to the loud, creepy soundtrack. 6.5 out of 10. Kumquats up? Mythbusters. Carrie Byron is shown wriggling around as she supposedly writes her name in the snow, and then zips up afterwards, clearly faked.

Hold on. Oh. Hold on. Oh. Hold on. Okay. Mm. Mm. Mm. Okay.

Poor Tex. Strange brew. Bob McKenzie, Rick Moranis, and his lady are thrown into a huge vat of beer by the evil brewmeister

as the vat fills with cold beer the woman comments that it begins to feel warmer implying that Bob is peeing in it. Boots rain gear.

Shortcuts. Vern, played by rock singer Huey Lewis, pees from a rock into a stream and finds a murder victim in the water, right where his stream is landing. His genitals are shown very briefly before he pees, but it has been reported that he uses a fake penis connected to a hose

because it was too difficult to urinate on cue. Ten out of ten. Mr. Adam Bozarth. Oklahoma crude. George C. Scott empties his bladder on Jack Palance while holding a shotgun to his throat. TV version is censored. And lemon.

American History X. A Hispanic cashier is attacked by a group of anti-immigrant vigilantes who are trashing the shore where she works. As they leave, you see that the back

of her pants are wet. While it looks like it could be a fear wedding, it could also be the liquids that the attackers have poured on her. User rating 4.2. That was my bed?

Hello. I have a question. I was hoping you would answer it. My name is AfterDeath51. Anodomony. Yeah, yeah. I'm a fanini. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a fan of the decline of the Roman Empire. Anyway,

how can you tell if someone is into Omurashi? They're peeing on themselves with a boner. Hang on, don't smell. I've always wondered if Omurashi fans displayed certain tells

that would give away their interest. Mostly because I have a suspicion that a friend of mine might be into it. Why? Is there a wet patch on the front of his pants? No, it's kind of a squishy sound when they walk in their shoes. Yeah, a friend of mine's real

into it. You don't know him. I just assume everyone I meet is into it. Certain tells won't shut up about peeing on yourself. Well, does anyone have an answer to my question? Yeah, I do. Okay.

I am Anonymous Guy Chalk. And just the Yeah, I do. Okay. I am AnonymousGuyChalk. And the location is your soul. I'm located in your soul. It's dark in here. Oh, you can list your fetishes on your bio. Yeah, I'm a furry. I'm a chocolate furry.

No, you're a furry with a chocolate keyboard. That's why you have so much chocolate on your fingers. So far, the one who says my fetish is furry is going to be the most acceptable and normal of the people that we're going to deal with. Well, I suppose the only surefire way would be to let them see someone wetting themselves and gauge their reaction.

Oh, that makes sense. So if he's not into it, the guy just stands in front of him while he's watching TV and just slowly wets himself and stares at him. I want to introduce you to my friend Carl. Oh, look what Carl's doing. Do you like that or not?

I'm just curious for science. This all has to be done in a controlled lab environment. With a camera. With a control. Like a CIA thing where they're on the other side of the wall and you have to predict what's CIA. I want a post where he comes back and says, so I tried it. He looked horrified.

Is that a tell? I don't know. Well, let's find out. Stog? You're a TV guy. Hi. I'm TV guy. I would say be careful. My first post-high school girlfriend seemed very interested in the subject.

Eventually I was certain that she had a wedding fetish. That was until I accidentally got us lost on a remote highway at night where there were no bathrooms. She was desperate and had an accident. Oh, yeah! But she was extremely upset by it, and I felt awful. The whole experience was so traumatic for her, she didn't want to see me any longer, and I felt like a jerk for making the whole thing happen.

Good. By the way, you get free HD wedding videos and free HD wedding pictures in my signature down below my post. Enjoy! The term straw that broke the camel's back comes to mind here. That's the point. Well, he finally, it was the last straw.

He started driving me around and I pissed myself. I think I've had enough of him. I also just like how I felt awful about it and that just made me feel really bad. It made her feel bad and I just never saw her again. Anyway, free HD wedding videos right here.

I mean, I've wet my pants before, but I wouldn't describe it as traumatic. Depends on the situation, I guess. Hey, I get it. How much do you get out of these clicks, TV guy? I get 12 cents. Ooh, all right.

Like net? Gross. Agreed. Oh, so you do actually file that on your taxes, then. Yes. My HD wedding video pennies. This one's for Adam. Oh, then. Yes. My HD wedding video pennies. This one's for Adam. Oh, God. Need a little bit more beer?

Are we really? Yeah. We're reading this. Right. My name is Rachel Curran. And this post is called The Color of P. Jeff.

The F-plus tradition of nothing but shitty English accents continues. I thought this one was pretty good. You thought wrong. I guess not. All right. Continue, though, please. This one should stop, yeah. Hey, so I was wondering if people who wanted to share tips on how to get darker-colored pee

or talk about whether they like pee more yellow or clear? Yeah, you know how you get darker-colored pee? Get a fucking liver stone. It can be a horrendous pain. It'll be super dark, and I'll feel better. I was wondering if people wanted to give me advice on how to construct a sentence. All right, uh, Portax, Unknown John, you're going to give us advice on how to construct a sentence. Alright, uh... Portax, Unknown John, you're gonna give us a fact.

My name is Unknown John, my icon is Pikachu, and, uh, the more dehydrated you are, the draker your pee goes. Random pee fact, I know. Okay, so, I feel like that's not true,

but, then again, I don't really want to doubt the wisdom of people that spend their time on this fetish, because I feel like they probably know more about pee than me, right? No, it is true. But I'm not going to tell you how I know that. I'm a doctor. Yeah, I just know. If you're dehydrated, your pee gets really gold,

and if you're really dehydrated, it goes brown. It's interesting what you can do in correspondence courses these days. Hey, guys. Hi. Hey, guys. I'm anti-fairy. Oh, no. I'm a moderator.

I'm the opposite of a fairy. You're a thing from Zelda. Yeah. You're a thing from Zelda. Yeah, you're a thing from Zelda. Yeah, yeah. I like the slightly yellow tinted pee. Not too dark. But also not as clear as pure water. Can you give me those Home Depot paint swatches that you can judge against?

I like it. Yeah, I like a nice sunrise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we get the Martha Stewart color where it's like golden shower on the sunny day. Is that a Martha Stewart color? Martha Stewart names the colors incredibly bizarre things. Tuscan plaster.

If she was making pee paint, that's probably what she would name it. Alright, Unknown John, move down to post number six. Nah, I like it with a nice yellow color. Not too light, not too dark. Jesus Christ. Just looks awesome

coming through some panties and dribbling down a leg. Still goofy face because I'm an awful human being. Can we talk again about how the internet makes people really picky with their fetishes? Yeah, it does. I'm looking up this shit on Tumblr right now and it's getting horrible.

Listen, I'm into wedding fetishes, but it could only be this color pee. Otherwise, it's a total boner killer for me. Come call out your waterfall. My name's Waterfall and I'm squirming. In addition to what Unknown John mentioned, I think darker colored urine may also be the result of a high salt content in the body.

So if you want to achieve that, drink less water and instead drink something with a high sodium concentrate in it, like soda. Nope. Okay. Also, I usually prefer to see pee that isn't clear,

but isn't too dark either when I watch Omurashi stuff. Are there Amazon user reviews for the Omurashi videos? Nice vid, but I didn't like that color. This is like the bargain bin in the marketplace

of ideas. What is anybody learning? Any more on this thread? Crash driver. Yeah, crash driver. My name is crash driver, and I like it when the pee is either clear or has a slight yellow tint to it.

Darker urine strikes me as unhealthy and takes away from the enjoyment of the scene. Because otherwise... Ew, that one's gross. Lemon, take Smeeth. My name's Smeeth, and I'm a tickling tea toddler. Mine is always clear when I pee in the toilet, but yellowish after I've wet my incontinence pull-ups. I drink so much water due to my bladder problems. I love my boyfriend. Eleven months.

Hello. Hello. I'm Wise Man. As far as the color is concerned, for me, it really depends on the situation and location. For instance, if I'm with a woman that is into wedding for pleasure and she does it as a precursor to physical interaction, in which case...

What the fuck?! What?! What?! That's foreplay for you?! God damn it! I would almost inevitably be unable to resist giving her oral after wedding. No! No! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! I usually prefer the more clear pee, as it is a bit less pungent. Although, there are times when I'm just in the mood for the more yellow varieties in that same situation, just because it's been a while. If it's something in public or just sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing, then I generally like the medium to darker colored pee. Just because I think it makes the

puddle a bit more defined and sexier. Jesus Christ. Okay, this woman that you're talking about, she's fictitious, right? I'm gonna just assume. She's locked up in my basement peeing on herself.

At that point, I like it where it's kind of orangey, but with some purple sparkles in it. I like it when the pee comes out. She's hooked up to a tube that constantly feeds her orange soda. I don't think anybody

in this thread actually mentioned vitamin C. So nobody here has ever eaten an orange. That doesn't have any sodium in it. That's a good point. Hey, guys. Hey, guys.

Hey, what's up? My name is ModSnipe. Hi, ModSnipe. I wish there was more Omurashi stuff on YouTube. I wonder why they ban it. Because YouTube is censoring the media. They're trying to become neo-Nazis, communists, etc. Have it pissed real time. The Adolf Hitler of politeness.

You know, Adolf Hitler believed in bladder control. All right, I'm going to let you guys choose our little adventure tonight. Okay. There's two different directions we can go. All right. It's one of them away from the site. We could continue with forum discussions and talk about video games and peeing in them. Or we could do some fiction involving Snape.

Do you want to be stabbed in the eye with a pencil or a fork? That's what's called a false choice. I think we got an answer. Can we actually, before we get to Snape, I really do like Video Game Wedding. Okay. You do that one first. Okay. Yeah, I don't think there's too much to read in that one.

Okay, I want to start out with Gargoyle Guy. Yeah. My name's Gargoyle Guy. I. My name's Gargoyle Guy. I'm a senior member. I'm from Missouri. I've posted 152 times. What's your current activity level? Oh, spurting!

I'm spurting. And I am an anime. At all times. With eyes inside of my hair. Well, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm Gargoyle Guy. I love video games!

Of course, I have to pee eventually. Mostly I find a quiet spot and pause it, but sometimes I won't because the game is getting intense, and I'll just wet myself and continue! The warm, wet feeling is great, and I think it enhances the experience. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too stubborn to get up and go.

Does anyone else do this? No, nobody else does this. You're wrong. Lots of other people do this on this thread and we're going to read them. Why am I here on this planet? Portex, take Shu, please. Of course.

I'm Shu. I'm the king. The king of piss. Royal piss rainbow. You are into... You have a number of fetishes and they are all terrible. Yeah. Yes. I will not... Yeah, we're not

doing that. I have before. It's also a scenario I wrote on Lucky Star fanfic on. La la la la pissing my pants! That's different. Lucky Star

stars little girls, so there you go. As a matter of fact, I've actually tried getting desperate before and playing a scary video game. Fear 2, I believe, to try and see if I could scare myself into

wedding. It, much like myself, was a pretty huge failure, though. Yep. Damn it! But, hey, this is why diapers can be a hardcore gamer's best friend. Tonguey face. You should have used amnesia, the dark descent.

That's going to very much upset the Metacritic rating. Stog, this one's you. They're like, how can I make fear too scarier? I know, I'll talk about pissing myself off playing. Stog, you're Ronyo. And your icon is a My Little Pony character. Ronyo, My Little Pony. Oh, okay. Oh, wait, I'm a British Brony.

Oh, no. Oh, wait. I'm a British brony. Oh, no. Excellence. I'm sorry. I mean, genuinely, I'm sure that we have English listeners, and I'm sorry. Like, we know that you're hearing these accents, and you're upset, but it's fine. I'm not. Mine was great. I am a pony, and I prance in the fields. Prancy, prancy, prancy.

That's by far the worst one. Stuck. Stuck. Bring it home. My name's Ronyo and I'm a British pony. Okay. It's something that all hardcore gamers come across at some point or another. Especially if you're playing an MMO and you're in the middle of a raid or something like that.

What the fuck? I like that every vowel he gets to make a new choice. This is English English. You pronounce things differently. Sure. Yeah, yeah. I've heard plenty of tales of people holding a tool to the end or paying it to a button. And of course hearing about a shoe accident because they couldn't hold it.

I like that you properly translated bottle into button for the British listeners. Stug's doing a sampler platter. Yeah, I think it's more South Africa than anything else. It is not earthly, whatever it is. Get it all over me. No cases, senor. Jesus. Jesus Oh, you broke him

I find it annoying when I'm playing a game Because at that point I'm more interested in playing the game properly And sadly lose the desire to continue holding it, though there has been the occasional difference in feeling. So, cartoon producers, Stog is available for voice actor work. Stog just cut his reel. It's so pretty, I'll show pants with you. Ronyo, how many times

have you molested Shu? Can I be, uh, can I... Number of times I have molested Shu is three. Uh, uh, uh. By the way, you knew that it was a British brony, but just so you know, that accent there was a Midlands accent.

Yay! In case for some reason you couldn't pick that up. Just like Bill Bailey. Can I take I forgot my password? Sure, I don't know what it is, but yeah, go ahead. I forgot my password. I'm a soaking wet member. One of Kimiko's male and seriously overweight friends wears an adult diaper when playing games for up to eight hours at once.

Needless to say, he's a single virgin. No way! Not because of the diapers, though. No, of course not. not because of the diapers though no of course not that can't have helped but because he spends at least 80% of his free time playing games

wait as a member of this forum I am confused on why wearing diapers and spending 80% of your time playing video games would somehow be a barrier to getting laid the implication here is that if he just put down the video games he would totally get laid Kimiko has just implication here is that if he just put down the video games, he would totally get laid.

Kimiko has just added that she would probably be the same if she was a single virgin, though she probably would have kept her weight under control. Wow. You don't like... Alright, alright. Yeah. Hey, guys,

can I ask a question? Yep. When do the boners come in? Right now. Right now. Right now. Oh, the boner shipment has been delayed until then. We'll be talking about the fucking UPS.

Because this story is a fucking boner factory. All right. And I'm going to read it to you. Yeah! Yeah. Hey, guys, my name is Snape. What are you doing right now? Squirming.

Not entirely incorrect. All right, guys. Hi. Sorry. I'm... Hi. My name's Snape. And this is my first fan fiction.

I hope you enjoy it. It involves Severus Snape. So, you, then. No. I'm just Snape. This is Severus Snape. So you, then. No, I'm just Snape. This is Severus Snape. Oh, okay. The character played by Alan Rickman. Everybody's favorite target of sexual fantasies.

For reasons that are beyond me. No, unless you just want to cuddle when you scan the Alan Rickman tag. Yeah. The hand found its way to the going area and clamped down against the dark gene material. So an alien wrote this. Yeah.

Upon its skin, it could feel the ridges where the genes were sewn. He rubbed his thumb along the material, pressing it up against the hidden treat inside. What? The hidden treat inside. So he's a piñata. Piñata pants.

I like to put skittles up my dick. Piss the rainbow, asshole. The blue office chair provided him with just enough security and enough pressure to keep his hand in place. He didn't quite understand why the school provided him

with such uncomfortable seating arrangements. Perhaps it was Dumbledore's idea of a joke. There's no pause to be there, so Dumbledore... All of the Dumbledores have... His right leg was bouncing up and down as he drew his hands from under himself and then back in. It wasn't masturbation,

but it felt so good. No, it wasn't masturbation. Nope. Unless... Okay, yeah. He knew he could hang on a little longer, for he had tested himself before, but he was becoming tired of waiting.

Desperation wasn't something that easily happened. The time became to pass, and he started to feel the effects of the situation he had forced himself into. It's nighttime, and I have a flashlight underneath my chin. These sentences

are so bad! The time became to pass! Yeah, the time became to pass. So Snape had... So he's into it in this fanfiction. Yeah, yeah. Why would you practice not peeing? I think maybe he's

discovering right now that he's into it. No, he tested himself. He's testing himself before so he's testing himself now. So he's into it. What is he testing himself for? Desert Storm? Because if Voldemort comes back, he's going to beat himself. Remember all those wizards

that died in Desert Storm? Yeah, from bladder explosions. Senseless war. We should have never gotten it. For Severus could have left at any time, That was dramatic. At first Severus grabbed onto his groin And his legs began to jiggle He was using both hands As his bladder ached to be released He knew fine well It was going to be satisfying For he had held it all day

Through his potions lessons And in meetings He was sat there with the iron bladder You know this is why Teachers shouldn't be allowed to get tenure, because they get complacent and it leads to things like this. Fuck you, I'm gonna tie my legs

to the chair, I don't give a shit. Well, you know how academia is. It's either publish or piss. I was just thinking that he's sitting there all day with the iron bladder. Just the worst wrestler name I can possibly think of. That's his nickname for Neville.

The old iron bladder. The man with the iron bladder. He gritted his death as the pain got worse. What? Oh, his death is all gritty. It's getting between my teeth. Not all this death in my mouth. He gritted his death as the pain got worse and his bladder wanted to explode,

but he wasn't going to allow this. Not quite yet. Don't explode, bladder. He was going to test himself as established earlier. Yeah. It got worse, though. He felt his bladder through, and his groin felt like it was going to burst out of him.

Why would he burst her? He wiggled his bum around, trying to raise himself out of the seat, but his legs wouldn't allow him at all. He pushed on his crotch tighter. In his worries and his glee, some spurts came from his bladder, but his legs wouldn't allow him at all. He pushed on his crotch tighter. In his worries and his glee, some spurts came from his bladder, but not much. There did not

mean anything to him. As the author is masturbating more and more furiously. Smashing the palm on his keyboard. I'll just do it with voiced attacks. There did not mean anything to him! He's just smashing the palm on his keyboard. I'll just do it with voice to text. That did not mean anything to him! He began to move about so more,

trying to stroke his groin to stop himself, but he wanted to. Do you usually stroke your cock to stop yourself from doing things? He wanted to more than anything. Closing his eyes tightly, he released. It was wonderful. The urine flowed out of the head of his penis and trickled down his boxer

shorts so that he felt his arse getting wet. The spreading happened. He's good to make a peace, said Snape. It felt wonderful. It felt so warm against the bottom of his thighs that he felt the wet jeans press against the side.

His crotch was soaked up. But so was the chair, for as it began to spread and trickle down his legs, the urine had stained into the blue material. He really hated the janitor. Severus closed his eyes tightly, releasing the rest of his urine. He made an mmm sound,

hearing the patter of the golden liquid dripping out of the ends of the jeans. He was aroused and in heaven. Because he gritted his death. He would let himself go, change himself, and in heaven. Because he gritted his death. He would let himself go, change himself, and get ready for dinner. But right now, he needed to finish.

Next time he might try something a little different. Yay! Stay tuned for part two. Snape shits on a sofa. Sofa. I'm not the biggest Harry Potter fan,

but doesn't Severus Snape wear a robe? Yeah, I don't think he wears jeans. Yeah. Like, boxers and jeans seems a little out of place. Or is it casual Friday? That might be underneath the robe, right? Severus Snape pissing himself on the dude ranch. Yippee-ki-yay, Harry Potter.

Alright. Expecto Petronum. I peed a giant yellow deer for some reason. It took that whole story to get to that joke. That's amazing. Alright, we have a... Is it Epic Story? It's called My Epic Story. Yay! Alright, we have a epic story. It's called My Epic Story. So is this like Homer's Odyssey?

It's an epic poem about... Yeah, yeah. He sails the sea for ten years waiting to take a shit. He holds it in for ten years. Come cut. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. You must take my asshole shut because the sirens will try to get me to shit. Kumkot, what's your name? Hello, I am... Doody Dude. Dude Dude? I think it's just Dude Dude. Dude Dude.

Dude Dude. Doody Dude. Or it'll also be Duddy Dude. Doody Dude here with an amazing story! WARNING! POOP DESPERATION! Yay! And now my story. We have a girl named Emma and her boyfriend Todd.

They ride the bus home together, but Todd wonder about Emma's habit of drinking too much water and eating SLOP for lunch. Is that an acronym? She's a pig. Is that the plot twist? We wonder about it. A pig in a school uniform.

Yeah. I love you, Emma. I'm still really on the beginning. We have a girl named Emma and her boyfriend, Todd. Did you have twins? We have them. It's a beautiful baby girl and a boyfriend. It's more like a pitch, I feel like.

It's not... Oh, okay. So, here's the story. This is a sitcom in the making. Oh, okay. So, here's the story. This is a sitcom in the making. One day, Emma drank too much at bus homeroom and said to Todd,

I think I need to go, Todd. Okay, bus homeroom. What the fuck kind of underfunded school system is this? You can learn about buses at home. Everybody get into the bus, it's homeroom time Alright, you can either have a bus ride Or homeroom I ain't getting to school in homeroom Of course, Todd said

It's about time you faced A conquequence for that Ugly habit Wait, the ugly habit of needing to pee? Was drinking too much. Drinking too much water. That is such a hideous fucking habit. Pissing yourself, that's cool. I thought she was a nun.

Well, you know, every doctor says that we should drink a lot less water. Emma was going to run to a toilet, but the crowd in Boo Homeroom jostled their way to the bus, carrying Emma on top. What? Wait a minute, what? They were going to Homeroom and then they had a touchdown celebration?

So it's established that Bus Homeroom was not a typo. Yep. I imagine Boo Homeroom was not a typo. Yep. It is... I imagine boo homeroom was. Yeah, but... Later, Emma finally said, Please get me off of the bus!

I can't hold it in much longer! As the bus driver ignored her, Emma's face turned... Polly Red! Red! Multiple Reds. It turned all red. This Pokemon fanfiction is getting weird. And she burst through

to bus roof? Running to a toilet? Sure. Why? Is the toilet on top of the bus? Is this what this is? No, because the bus had a skylight and then she smashed through it. You wouldn't like me when I have to pee. Don't make me have to pee.

She almost reached it, but she was at a point where she couldn't hold it anymore and said, Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. It hurts. Next thing she knew was that poop came out of her butt, and the pee ran down her legs. There's her twist Ah, the climax She fell to the ground crying Wait, while she was Okay Oh my god

I'm crying a little myself Luckily, Todd was nearby. Yay. That's good. Be supportive. So yeah, luckily Todd was nearby, the guy who locked you into a bus and made you shit yourself.

Thank God you're here. Luckily, Todd didn't jump off the bus homeroom. And said to her, cut the habit, and this won't happen again. Either way, I still love you. Now let's get some clothes. The end. Please refrain from using god-awful fonts like Comic Sans.

Right. Because this guy has taste. Yeah. Lemon. Or should I say Vapor Bender? Yeah. Vapor Bender. What do you have to say?

Okay, first of all, I'm Vapor Bender. I'm leaking. And I think that I'm a muscular Pokemon. Is that you have to say? Okay, first of all, I'm Vapor Bender. I'm leaking, and I think that I'm a muscular Pokemon. Is that right, Portax? Oh, yes, you're a ditto impersonating a Machoke. Oh, thank you. That's good. You know what that is, so I'll explain.

Yeah, now I know what that is. Except for I don't, but that's fine. Talpas, Portax, Human Pokedex. Anyway. Yay! Wait. Anyway, Vaporbender says, there's very little detail,

and it's short. I'm sorry if I'm coming off mean, but I'm just giving critique. So she pooped herself, so then what? Come on! Then they went to buy clothes. Empathy is a sign of compassion. Sympathy is a sign of hardship.

What? What? Dude Dude does reply. Or Doodly Dude. Doodly Doody. Come what? Oh. No worries.

It's a start. And time can be short sometimes. It's not time in the day for writing poop fic. Hey, it's poop time somewhere in the world. All right. Dear Gage Whitney, we have rejected your slogan for Budweiser. So this brings us to our final piece. Wait, already? Yeah.

You mean piece number two? Yeah, that's fine. It's a big piece. So this is a story called Super Purrful Piss. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yep. Oh, wow. Yes. 420 no sculpt piss. The piss was so strong, it washed away some of the vowels. It caused a vowel movement. Somewhere in Toast

his fist's pumping and he doesn't know why. Yeah. Twas a peaceful day, people playing peckiful music and sudden la-bang! Whoa. Yeah. The sound came from two kids from a pickiful music and sudden le bang! Whoa. The sound came from two kids from a school for specially gifted

kids playing a game of piss war. No, you don't battle with the urine, you battle while holding urine much harder! I don't like the way this Tom Clancy novel is starting. It's much better than its most recent work. So, you're wondering

what the first and second rule of Piss Club is? Well, the game only had two rules. One, no outside interference. What does that mean? Someone running up to you and squeezing your bladder? If God himself makes you pee.

Nobody can turn on a faucet during a piss war. Run up to you and put your hand in a bowl of water. And two, if you piss, you lose. Bitch! The two players were young boys named Jonah

and Justin. They don't get along for a specific reason. Semicolon, very grouse-some. Very semicolon, I don't like saying it. Jonah was to be considered the good

guy who wasn't afraid of anyone while the other, well, who can probably guess? No, I can't, motherfucker! You didn't establish your motherfucking characters! Why do you think I know things about them? Look, I told you, I don't like saying it. Asshole! Okay, so the bad guy,

so the other guy's a bad guy who is afraid of everyone, so he pisses like a sieve. Yeah. You know Justin, huh? Wait, what? Okay, so you guys are wondering where the story's going, don't you worry. Yeah, yeah.

The flash of beams being shot at each other, blinded passerbys, dust being kicked into the air wasn't helping either. So they're both kung fu cyclops? This is a super saiyan piss fight. What are they using, mirrors? Are they flashing mirrors at each other? Ghost Peacon 2 Jesus Why is John not in this and there are more

puns than when he is So if this is Ghost Peacon 2 this is taking place between the US and Mexico border, right? Yes, that's why I don't like saying it So this is about the mexican drug war and the author is under political influence to knock it off yeah exactly let's continue with this good idea both boys were desperate but were not going to allow themselves to lose this

justin especially had both hands jammed on his crotch squirming in one spot jonah knew this and even though he felt the same way was able to use both his hands at will even so much so that he was recognized for never using the bathroom at school or at any school for that matter so he didn't bust into another school he's their bathroom i didn't pee in that school I didn't pee in that school I didn't pee in that school he was undefeated at this game and was going to be victorious again he's too good for public toilets

this is like the hot shot rival character in a cartoon or something he's never pissed man it's like those cartoon or something. He's never pissed, man! It's like those Disney movies about crappy sports team full of kids. These are the kids across the lake that always

beat them in piss war. My point of reference is breakdancing movies, so this is the blonde kid from Orange County. Yeah, yeah. Think of like Mighty Ducks or something. Alright, Adam, take over. Justin was on the verge of insanity, his bladder overfilled. He was going to burst for sure.

For the whining blow, his signature attack, but not even his strongest was used. This was a sure KO, but at this game, a bit risky. He pulled out a bottle he kept hidden from t-shirts containing Deco. Dangerous substance many may have told on him, but if they didn't have it themselves

or if it wasn't so stealthy... Why? What? So this is the Dick Dastardly of... Do we know what the attacks are? It's beams. It's beams.

It's just beams. They're shooting each other with laser guns, and they're also kicking dust at each other. Is that right? No, they're shooting laser beams at passerbys. Oh, and that's... Who are then kicking dust in the air and that's causing a problem. Maybe it's like

a really horrible comic book thing, like, oh, my powers only work when I have to go to the bathroom. Don't like saying it. Don't like saying it. He tied his girlfriend to a railroad track. Oh, help!

Help! I'm gonna pee! The train isn't coming. The train hasn't been running for years. She just... He drank half the bottle and turned into an electrified almost beast-like child, rushed at the at-end-the-bladder-bursting

child and shocked his abdomen. This might be the worst writer that we've ever featured on the show. I know. I love it. Like, this really makes that Transformers fanfic seem just really crisp and well put together. There's no stage directions in this one being spoken aloud, though. That's true.

I do miss that. Was not long until a puddle of piss started flowing onto the dirt underneath him. Justin had lost and let out a large sigh of relief. So emb- Yeah, I guess so. Wow, Justin sucks

at this thing. He was to be considered the hero. So embarrassed, he was sobbing on the floor in the glistening puddle of smelly urine tainted with dirt. But it's still glistening. Hold on. The dirt's really clean. Unzipping right now.

There we go. Once regaining composure, all the cheers for Jonah's victory stopped. Justin did what any loser at the game does so that teachers don't notice during class. Splash water on himself and use fire to dry

off quickly. I may have lit myself on fire, but nobody's gonna notice I pissed myself. Justin is both a piss fetishist and a Tibetan monk. You got lucky, he said. I don't know who. One of them.

Whatever, not like it matters to us since we can use our powers to dry off. Don't take it seriously, Jonah said. This has got to be some sort of weird school where the teachers must be talking about all the kids just come in and they're covered in water and they smell like a campfire.

And pee. And pee. Like somebody peed on a campfire. This sort of shit is why public schools have all those police officers roaming the hallways now. Hey, hey, hey. Go to the bathroom.

Go to the bathroom. I know what you're doing. You piss in the toilet. In any case, I'll just take a quick pit stop before the bell ringing noise. Also in quotes. Ha, sucker, said Justin. Ah, whatever.

I'll make it through until break. Until then, cool yourself off, whoever heard of a bully that can't take a joke seriously. All of them. That's why they're bullies. So Jonah still needs to piss. Yes. But Justin doesn't need to piss because he already pissed himself.

Okay, I think I'm following it. Alright, Stog, start us with chapter two here. Okay. Chapter two. Next was a double period of English English one of Jonah's best subjects suddenly his lower abdomen gave a shot of pain this was unusual as school lessons had just started

no matter to him though as the teacher came in he was dishing out notes on figures of speech as the class came to a hush he was dictating about 10 minutes later Jonah's bladder was getting harder to control what is this? He groaned. He used his strength and punched his lower abdomen,

trying to erect his, well, you know. Wait, is that how your dick works? Wow. Shut up, dick. Just pump it. Oh! I don't need Viagra here. Just punch me in the kidney.

It's like those Nike pump-up sneakers that you have. Yes. All the other kids with Nike pump-up sneakers that you have. Yes! All the other kids with the pumped-up dicks. Oh, God. Needing to pee, and he's like, man, I need to pee, but I need to be discreet about it. I know, I'll punch myself in the gut until I get the rest. Nobody notice!

What is this? It's like when you punch one side of the air mattress and the other side just all grows up and digs. So it's the same logic. Yeah, okay. That makes perfect sense.

Perhaps I'll look more dignified if I'm pissing blood. Well, yeah. What color pee do you like? I like it blood-tinged. Crimson. No one seemed to notice but his friend beside him, Zetical. All right, here's what we got.

So there's just 10, which is spelled just 10. Yeah, there's Jonah, and there's Zetical. Too late to change my F plus name. I thought it was supposed to be Bodark. Yeah, it was Modark, and now it's Zetical. Cycling through. What's going on? I gotta go to the bathroom, like, soon!

He whispered back, whoever he is. Well, just wait. Okay, yeah, yeah. So Jonah needs to piss. So this is Jonah, yeah. Okay, okay. Okay. Yeah, right.

I'm serious. I don't know why. It's almost like it's a biological function. Whoa, you are serious. How awkward. Agreed. He's talking about the dialogue. Hold on, I'll search for anything suspicious.

What, in your bladder? What? What? If you pee something, say something. Oh! something, say something. Oh! After another period and a half of squirming,

he was really tired now. Literature was next and he really wasn't in the mood. Two hands jammed on his crotch at any chase he got trying to remain composed. Were they his hands? Ten minutes in and things got increasingly worse. Literally sweating, he lost control for a second. A spurt leaked out, not enough to

soak through his pants, but although the warmth didn't help. Dude, this is insane. I have to go now. Oh, damn. Semi-colon. Wait. He nudged his head forward to signal him to look at Justin. A suspicious aura was emanating from his hands.

You could barely see it, but he was using some sort of spell. I feel like the tension, I mean, this is a very simple rule of porn, because there's wedding in the very, very beginning of the story, which I think undercuts the sort of temptation, you know, the danger of wedding later on. Well, you'd think that, but, you know, maybe they, you don't know, the story might, it doesn't have to follow the rules. Okay. Yeah.

So for some reason, for some reason, just 10 pissing himself is kind of hot, but Jonah wanting to piss himself is very hot. I'm just kind of confused how in a school full of people that can start fires and have, I guess, mind control and all that stuff, not peeing is the kid's claim to fame. Like, that kid has pyrokinesis. Oh yeah, that kid doesn't piss. Well,

I don't understand. Which would be more useful? Kumquat, it is your turn. Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. Yep. Grr, that piece of worthless dash dash. Look at that smirk on his face.

He said with tears running down his face from the egg's house-tion. It's a shitty metal band. Talk about being a sore loser. Hey, I have an idea. Does it involve piss? Justin, Zydeco, can you guys keep it down over there? Stop talking about pissing so much. Look, it's almost time for literature.

I think they really have to piss, teacher. Jonah carefully leaned over to Zedicle's chair and upon hearing the plan gained a mischievous smile. Zedelec? Zedelec. Yeah. Zedelec. A new challenger appears.

He's the palette swamp of Zetacool. Zetalek used his purr. Sure. Right. Yeah. And created an uproar outside the class. The teacher said she would be right back as she left to check on the noise. Uproar power activate! Right, so

Zetalek's power is to create riots in random places. So, again, these kids have insane powers and they all just it's all just a means to an end for piss fight. Hey, whatever happens, I'm all for Occupy Piss School.

The teacher's absence caused the classroom to spring to life, and while everyone was distracted, Jonah took advantage, taking painful steps, and clutched Justin in a sleeper hold and teleported off somewhere. I gotta say, teleportation sleeper hold is a

pretty awesome power. Yeah, brother! I'm gonna put you in the teleportation sleeper. You're set myself on fire. Oh, yeah. It's called the Million Dollar Dream Warp. It's the Steiner

Stained Recliner. That's beautiful. What the hell is wrong with you? Screamed Jonah. Everyone in this forum? Revenge, what do you think? Revenge was a freaking game for crying out

loud you're acting like a flipping turd on toast. Hmm. That's a new one. Listen, just take off whatever spell you put on me. No! We are going to play that game again and I will win! Oh, yeah. Good. Hey Mandarg. Now that you've already peed yourself, yeah, good. Hey, Mandarg. I know that you've already peed yourself. Yeah, sure. Yeah, he won at the pissing contest,

so now he just can't piss ever? What? Like it matters, it's not even official, plus unfair. Oh, okay, so it's not official because the referee wasn't watching. Yeah, where's the official rule book for... You gotta be kidding me!

Daddy, wipe my butt! I would love to see the Billy Mitchell of this fight. What was the tie that I was wearing? It was white. I'm legendary. Do you want to know what name I put on there? Just look at my tie. Tie?

No, it was piss. As long as I know I broke your streak, I win. So angry he forgot about his predicament and let out another spurt stemming it just in time. Lemon? Yes. Finish this off. Okay. Why?

Kill me. Okay. Okay. Fine, said no one in particular. Fine. With that, the war began. Every move made was murder. Wait, okay. Hang on. One more time. Jesus Christ. Fine. Jonah's moves were still effective, but not as much now. There was no, as in to knowledge, way he could win with that spell constantly strengthening, quotation mark. And Justen took the opportunity. Smack, what a kick!

That would usually break any normal person's teeth, and he clutched Jonah and shocked him. That was it. He couldn't hold on anymore. Your urine rushed out of him as you can see the spot on him was ever-growing, and so was the puddle below. The intense warmth ran down his legs for about a minute and a half. Having accomplished his goal, he dropped the half-conscious wet Jonah in his own puddle. He woke and gained composure, quickly not a tear down his face.

That wasn't made of urine, anyway. Aha! You were pissed in your own face! That's his true superpower. He didn't cry at all. I mean, he cried piss, obviously. I mean, everyone does, but He didn't cry at all. I mean, he cried piss, obviously. I mean, everyone does, but he didn't cry tears.

He pissed himself through his tear ducts. That's got to be embarrassing in high school. Comes the old piss tears. Piss tears. It's like the Indian in that anti-pollution. He does that whenever somebody pees outside. In their car window. So for the first time, he did what the losers did.

Splash water and dry it with fire. And since there was no spell, the game got personal. He approached the laughing idiot, leaving his large puddle behind, physically and mentally. You know, the puddle in his mind. He left that behind as well. Please buy myself a book. Put aside the puddle in your mind.

Cracked his neck. And then died. Alright, it all comes down to this. Hang on. It's my rival's kindergarten. It's a bad thing in every bad action movie where the villain will just move his neck slightly and all of a sudden you hear

just a crack. I like my version better. It was Bolo in the Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. Is this some sort of piss seppuku? Sure, why not? Okay. Okay, so no.

Cracked his neck and suddenly the boy went silent and the air still. Gulp, said no, he cracked his neck and suddenly the boy went silent and the air still. Gulp, said no one else in particular. Bam! Snap! Crack! Rice Krispies. A barrage of punches, kicks, and turmoil-like attacks ravaged Just Ten.

Most aimed for the lower abdomen couldn't imagine why broken link. Quotation mark. Parentheses. So as not to break anyone bones. Any bones. One stomp and pillars of earth arose lifting and crushing his body. One minute so for the finishing touches he scooped up a little of the still warm piss and splashed it all over his crotch. What?

This wasn't for the title, just for the revenge. The warmth of the piss was sure to wake him up. So he wiped his memory clean of the last 30 minutes before he arose to consciousness. Was he asleep? And both were brought before the class before the bell for recess. Just 10, just regaining consciousness. I feel like people pass out very frequently and it's not written about. I never hear about people passing out.

I do hear about them waking up a lot. They woke up from the hell that is being in a piss fiction story. It's positive thinking. That's what it is. Just 10, just regaining consciousness, was slumped back in his chair and greeted by the sound of children laughing at him. Based on a true story. He looked down and saw the wet spot and puddle on his chair.

Jonah and Zedekul were the only ones aware of what really happened, but not like they would tell anyone. Yeah, because we don't know. I certainly don't. As one last measure, Jonah took his water bottle, drank a large gulp, in his chair right in front of Justen and the class surrounding them, and said, well, well, revenge is a total

be- Now isn't it the end? Darkness! Well, I never thought I'd read another Piers Anthony novel. Ha ha ha! The sig means that Todd McFarlane is the one who wrote

this entire story. Todd McFarlane is the one who wrote this entire story. Todd McFarlane's secret piss tales. My name's Ren Palan. I've got the only comment that anybody's going to make on this story. Sure.

Not into male desperation, so I merely glanced over it. Lame! Peeing out of dongs? Boo! I think Rand Palan's signature is very apt. No, I won't stop

pointing out your mistakes. And I'd appreciate it if you point out mine. You're on a piss forum! I'm a crazy asshole. Crazy asshole? Are you alright if I take El Suave? Yeah, I think you should. Desperate Girls and Teve Shows.

Right. Transvestite shows. Yeah. Cheers. I'm thinking of the times during TV shows where a character may have been desperate to pee. Either showing signs of desperation or either just

talking about it. I wonder why you're thinking of that. It just came to me and this seemed like the right place to talk about it. I guess. Good place as any. For whatever reason, writers seem to think that kids find it funny when someone has to pee. And I know there were probably shows that showed this a few times. Unfortunately, I don't remember.

But I can recall four scenarios. I can't understand why television writers think potty humor is funny. I can't understand why peeing is sexy, though. Yeah, don't those writers know that this is a fetish? Yeah, I think that's exactly what he was linking. It's not funny, it's hot, you idiots. And why does Warner Brothers keep animating talking animals?

Don't they know that's porn? You're supposed to put the desperate girls in lingerie. You fucking idiots. Guys, I'm going to give you four examples, and none of them are creepy at all, so good. Okay, good. Oh my god.

Number one is Hannah Montana. I gotta pee, y'all. Hands up. Pants are all wet. Okay, so just so you know, El Suave here is 23 years old.

Pissing my pants like, yeah. Just wanted to mention that El Suave is 23 years old. Anywayissing in my pants like, yeah. Just wanted to mention that El Suave is 23 years old. Yeah. Anyway, Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana. There was Hannah Montana. There was an episode in which Hannah is in a rush and disappears

into her room for no more than two seconds coming out dressed in completely different clothing. Her father is stunned that it took such little time. And to this she says, it would have been faster, but those five water bottles I had in the limo really caught up with me. Not even about desperation, that's just a gag.

Shut up, it involves piss! I am such a boner! Okay, example number two. This one's really going to get you guys going. Okay, what is example number two, person who is 23 years old? Yeah, it's iCarly. It's burning. All right. All right. Sam blatantly states that she has to go pee.

Carly replies, you always have to pee. To which Sam then says, yeah, well, it's either that or I'll explode. Hot. Wait, I'm sorry. what was that last word? Hot Guys did you find that one kind of creepy? Yeah No not kind of Okay

Number three is Arthur The best show ever. The animated show about the Aardvark. Because it's pretty hot when pre-teen girls piss, but when pre-teen Aardvarks piss, oh, dude. That's the best. So at the end of an episode, Arthur and his family are seen driving away, and their car is shown from above, speeding along a countryside. DW suddenly explains,

I have to go to the bathroom, in a sing-song sort of voice. Why the hell did Darkwing Duck show up in the film? Okay, number four. Okay. Number four, so it's not You're all gonna be on board for this one Please, just It's not a preteen drama or a cartoon, okay? Oh, thank God, okay

Yeah, yeah, yeah, popular mechanics for kids Oh, just get this over with Oh, God Oh, Mother of Christ Okay, I know there's an episode Oh, God. Oh, Mother of Christ. Okay. I know there's an episode where Jay implies that he needs to go. He kicks Alicia out of the bathroom.

This doesn't interest me in the slightest. And in another episode, Alicia is working on some random site and comments on the smell around here. It smells like pee! Well, this doesn't have anything to do with desperation. It does prove one thing. Alicia Cuthbert has to pee sometimes.

And that is hot. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Oh my god! I don't know whether anyone can think of another few shows that may have used P desperation for a joke, but please, oh please, if you can think of any, do share.

For those of us who grew up with Kelly from Saved by the Bell, I'm sure it would be more than a pleasure to hear her exclaim such a delicious sentence. Include any links or episode titles if you can as well. What the hell was the save by the bell? I'm sure they peed in save by the bell. Hey, everybody! You want to see me do the pee dance?

Now, now, now, what is going on here? I'm pee dancing. That's what I do when I have to go pee. Let's have a pee pee. I want to take a pee pee in my drawers tonight. Let's have a pee pee. Motherfucker. I'm going to fill my panties with my pee pee.

And there we go. Round about an hour of a pee-pee dance of crazy. Boots, how are you feeling right now? Warm. Yeah. Still warm. Okay. Getting a bit colder.

Yeah. Cold. All right. Well, that'll happen. You think you learned anything from all this? No. You know, I always feel like I learned something from this, because we've talked before about how in paraphilias, you know, they take standard porno and just kind of, you know, blur the edges and take that same construct and work it into their own fetish. But here they don't do that at all.

Because if it's Vor, it's like, oh, hello, I'm a lovely, tasty girl and I want to be eaten. Oh, I'm a lovely, tasty boy and I like to eat. the thing is so strange that it's weirdly middle-loaded with an activity where it seems like if wanting to pee is so special, once the actual peeing happens, it's just such a bummer. Like, I really wanted to pee. Isn't that hot?

Then I peed. That was lame. Yeah, yeah. It's always very... It's anticlimactic. And also, I guess the other thing is that it's so geographically close to sexual,

yet so thematically distant. That is absolutely true. Yeah, the parts are all there, but they are doing the wrong things. And the website is always thefpl.us. Come pee on us We like it

Good night everybody Bye bye I'm gonna fuck all of you up Yeah What I know what I'm gonna do Let's have a pee pee I wanna take a pee pee in my drawers tonight

Let's have a pee pee Motherf I want to take a pee-pee in my drawers tonight. Let's have a pee-pee. Motherfucker. I'm going to fill my panties with my pee-pee. Explain to me what your avatar is. Yeah. What is that? You can't tell? It's a canoe running over a fart.

That's a... I don't know what that is But it looks like my dick So okay, let's go with that It's a piss-stained leg Surfboard Oh, I see it now Oh, it is

He's wearing piss-stained pajama pants I see That's from the back Negative space The negative space I thought was a surfboard or something. You all are completely wrong. It's me attacking my boner with a piece of avocado. It makes me pee more for some reason.