The F Plus - 89: Angry Angry Hippos

Episode Date: December 11, 2012

Human beings come in a myriad of shapes and sizes, and the enlightened among us would say that this is all perfectly fine. While there may be difficulties or handicaps or struggles with having or striving for certain body types, it is up to each person to find comfort in a life they choose for themselves. Again, this is the enlightened opinion. There's also the opinions of angry idiots on the internet, who loudly shriek that drawing a correlation between weight and health is equivalent to committing a hate crime. This may surprise you, but we're spending time with the latter. This week, The F Plus gets mad at corporate skinny cats.

Fat the power! Okay, Vortex, you can cross that off your piece of paper you have in front of you. You were squatting on that line for like a week. No, I actually just thought of it, but I didn't come up with the title, so that's good. Oh, man. And exactly small. Phone 239-56, you can change your guy to love! How are you doing this week? Good, good. I did see something kind of disturbing, though. There was this music video that was really offensive on the internet. I'm sorry.

And I just... The things people put on the internet these days... I don't know if you've heard of this artist. I think it's a Weird Al Yankovic? Yes. Yes, I have. I have heard about him 25 years ago, yes. Oh, okay.

Well, I mean, the one I saw was just uploaded recently by, I don't know the name, some 13-year-old. The point is that it's really offensive in that this music video shows the main character in it getting fatter and fatter, and by the end of it, he's got a fat suit on. Okay. And the idea that

somebody would do the modern equivalent of Blackface in a music video meant for public consumption just sickened me. I could not believe that somebody was do the modern equivalent of blackface in a music video meant for public consumption just sickened me i could not believe well i know that i know that weirdo yankovic does a lot of a lot of uh you know sort of food and fat related uh comedy um but he did race stuff is that what you're saying he did well no it's not right well i mean if fat people are erased which i think they are in a way then yes yes it was racism just but just the idea that you put on this makeup in this suit to look like a group of people and make fun of them i mean it might as well just been singing you know mammy on on a music video there i can't i can't believe it you find that equivalent

do you it is i find equivalent because it is okay well uh you strangely enough, there's a whole group of people that would agree with you. They are part of a larger movement called Fat Acceptance. So true or false? People should be happy regardless of their weight. True. Very true. Right. Okay.

So we're going to take the concepts, or rather these people have taken the concept of you should be happy whatever your weight is and replaced it with anything that does not tip off fat people as being a superior race should be censored and removed from public consumption. Ah, finally, this is perfect. So, I mean, they would believe perfectly reasonable things like McDonald's now putting the calorie amount on their menus being the same as racial cleansing, right? Sure. They would think things exactly like that. Well, good. Finally, somebody's getting some reason in our un-PC culture of today. You found a home. Let's get to our readers! In the room tonight we have Portax, John,

Vaginomite. The power of Hillary Clinton's vagina in destroying male bromances. Victor Laszlo. I'm servicing a fat clientele I can't shut up about. Wow. It's fun. Homo Momentum. The inevitable gay equality train barreling down the tracks.

Choo-choo. Boots ring here! R.I.P. Ding-dongs. And Lemon. A dipfuck is like a dipshit, but more so. Wait, is that a Pokegirl? Okay, so we're going to start out with an article on how Pixar hates fat people. Except we're actually not going to read the article about Pixar hating fat people because it's more annoying than it is funny.

And instead, we will skip down to the comments. Starting with a comment from Denny Sell, which is a small Denise. Sure it is. I guess what this is all referring to is that in the movie Wall-E, the idea is that since robots are doing everything for people, then all the people in the movie are just super comically, giantly, spherically obese. Right. And that makes fat people angry. Oh, okay. Because how dare they picture people being fat and sedentary?

They're claiming inactivity makes you fat. Yeah, so that's just... That's what they're all riled up about. Okay, so Portex, will you start out with Denny Sell? Yes. Very disappointing, but sadly not the first time I hear of a premise like this.

It's the same thing as people complaining about corporate fat cats or fat capitalist pigs who are ruining our world with their greed and or gluttony and destroying the planet. The huge diet industry. I didn't read the article, but that's not what it is.

That's totally what it is. And that's mean to cats too. Yeah. Yeah. And pigs. Yeah. The huge diet industry, of course, is just helping us. Yeah. The huge diet industry, of course, is just helping us. Yeah, we should really revise that term. We should just call them corporate cats from now on.

Hey, corporate cat! Lookin' nice. I stalk and litter. Meow. I've actually been planning a dystopia about a future world not too far in the future. Wait, not a dystopic premise, but just planning a dystopia about a future world not too far in the future. Wait, not a dystopic premise, but just

planning a dystopia? You and all the corporate fat cats. I'm stocking fuel drums in my basement. She's trying to say she's writing a story, but a story about a dystopia. I've been planning a dystopia about a future world not too far

in the future, maybe about 50 years. Clever. Which is my average lifespan, so it's fine. Where obesity has been outlawed and people are monitored by the state and put into institutions if they're too fat. Ooh, this sounds like the sequel to Revolution X. Including children. French fries are the weapon. children.

French fries are the weapon! My protagonist would be a slim woman whose sister has been taken into an institution as a child and hasn't gotten out. I'm not sure if this would be too off-putting for any non-FA readers. No, just boring. Wait,

fat FA? Fat Admirer. Acceptance, I'm gonna guess? I think it's usually Fat admire when you read that. No, it's after the sound that a fat person makes when they run. It's just, fa. Brain on fire. Oh, I'm skipping Anne.

Victor, take Rachel, please. Rachel. How about it if it showed Jewish people as a group of greedy, rich bankers who abduct Christian children in order to drink their blood? It's a direct comparison. Yeah, that's the same thing as the Holocaust. All you pretty much have to do is just swap out the words and you've got the same story. Get Charlton Heston to star in it. You could probably get Charlton Heston to star in it.

Yeah, I mean, if you switch from fat to Jewish, then WALL-E is basically a reinterpretation of the protocols of the Elders of Zion. It's just a movie version of that, pretty much. There's no real difference. And I guess if the film showed Hispanic people as a class of sneaky, taco-chomping, thieving, wife-beating, tax-evading, illegal, border-crossing Mexicans, that would be okay, too, huh? I think you invaded a couple new Hispanic stereotypes out there.

I don't have any issues, none at all. I like, okay, all the other stuff is bad, but I like that throwing it in as Mexicans as being an offensive thing to say that, yeah, if we say Hispanic people are Mexicans, then that would be the worst thing. Taco-chomping. Taco-chomping. Portraying the worst thing. Taco chomping. Taco chomping. Portraying fat people as taco chomping.

Yeah, I could be described as taco chomping. Taco chomping is my favorite Wii U game. Topical. This isn't about censorship. This is about pointing out and objecting to the discrimination and stigmatization of groups of people.

People, as in human beings with thoughts, feelings, emotions. Do you not get it? Oh, you mean people. This film has the very real possibility to hurt people. Oh, dear! And nobody should ever have their feelings hurt by anything ever. That's important. Even sneaky, taco-chopping theming people.

Yeah. I won't say where they come from, but, you know, just... Not to mention, these kinds of ideas contribute to a society in which teen girls would rather lose an eye or a limb than get fat. Man! It is no coincidence that the rates of eating disorders are rising exponentially to the anti-obesity hysteria. Hysteria?

Okay, just, I guess for the record, I'm going to show, because some of you might not know, this is how fat the fat, it's not like the girls in there are just slightly fatter, and they're saying they're super fat. No, we've all seen WALL-E, we know what they're talking about, yeah. That's how fat they are! What the fuck? Yeah, but haven't you seen all those teenage girls walking around with one arm?

Yeah. Well, we all know the cause of... That arm was getting fat? We all know the cause of girls having a bad self-image and wanting to become anorexic was... The cause of all that was a fat person being in a thing

at one time. This is a pretty solid case. I think y'all are poo-pooing this too fast. Hey, if you can think of a faster way to drop five pounds and lose an arm, I'd like to hear it. Fair enough. If we don't speak out, we are only passively accepting prejudice. While you might be okay with the further oppression of an already marginalized group of people, I'm not. Creative license is not a license to harm people.

All right, so you guys know that you, I mean, you've learned in the past that you all unwittingly are receiving singlet privilege. Yes. So, you know, know that, feel guilty about that. Yes. So, you know, know that, feel guilty about that, and also know that some of you, some more so than others, are also receiving thin privilege, which is not fair and not right. Dun, dun, dun!

All right. Isfahan, would you take this, please? This is thin privilege. This! Thin privilege is not having to look at weight limits when purchasing a Groupon activity. One at a time, please.

I am going to be showing someone around Washington, D.C. probably very slowly and was looking for something fun and unusual to do. Segways can be kind of zippy, right? Yeah. I was upset to find that Segway

tours, paragliding, hot air ballooning, and flying lessons have weight limits well under 300 pounds. It turns out you have to take the weight off a hot air balloon to get... I know, too fat for a fucking Zeppelin.

I need to see someone over 300 pounds paragliding. Just any way possible to avoid having to actually travel by foot around Washington, D.C. I want to know how they think hot air balloons work. So they thought, yeah, I think his pun is right. Like, they were like, man, I'm not going to walk. Like, is there any segue? Damn, that's out. What about a hot air balloon?

Jet skiing. Go karting. I'm going to get the balloon as hot as the fucking sun. Anyway. All right, keep going. Even if I knew what I weight currently, I don't know. Okay. Is there a thing on your phone?

Because my scale just turns into a Looney Tunes cartoon. It just spins around and then goes... I never learned that scientific notation shit. I don't know what my friend weighs, and I shouldn't have to ask in order to do something like this. friend ways and I shouldn't have to ask in order to do something like this. I know damn well they can make a motor that will haul my fat ass up a hill or into the air.

I want a bigger motor on my hot air balloon. Yeah, Victor, to answer your question, they really don't understand how a hot air balloon works. A motor? They choose not to use a bigger motor, which makes it accessible only to people who weigh under a certain amount. That's not to use a bigger motor, which makes it accessible only to people who weigh under a certain amount. That's not to

marginalize fat people. They're all like, hey, you know what would be great if we had less customers? Yeah. If my rascal scooter can't get there, it's not worth going. The guy just, hey, boss, I made a new engine that can haul up really fat people, and the boss just takes it and tears it in half.

No! I'm getting a terrific mental image of just a really fat guy weighing down a Segway so it's just at a snail's pace just crawling around. I was picturing it like he's so fat that they can't turn it. Like he's...

His inertia just keeps... You gotta turn right at the end of the street. I can't! I thought since it was gyroscopic, he'd be kind of like a weeble, only be going forwards and backwards, just down the street. The problem would be

is that you have to lean the thing forward to move forward, but it would only move forward because if you tried to lean back, you'd fall over the edge. Alright, boots that we have more thin privilege to discuss. Yeah, we do. We talked about how hot air balloons and the air expresses thin privilege. Now we need to learn about thin privilege being expressed by chairs. Oh, God. Yeah, hey, guys.

Hey, guy. I have another example of thin privilege. Okay. Chairs. Yup. Fucking chairs. What assholes? That's my premise.

Yup. Thin privilege is not knowing how dehumanizing it is to walk into a room, not be able to sit down. How fat are you? The most. Whenever one... I'm guessing the answer is yes to that question. How fat are you? I'll never stand again.

When everyone else is sitting, nay, lounging comfortably with no room to spare without a care in the world. Having grapes peeled for them. I'm imagining now, like, a guy sitting on a couch, and then another guy, like, looking at the guy on the couch with, like, Tex Avery eyes. Oh, God! Pounding

at the table and how comfortable it looks. Thin privilege is thinking this has anything to do with hurt feelings. Like I'm jelly of someone's body. No, your body is a jelly. You're jelly being slang for jealous, but that's the worst possible word. Yeah.

I don't think you're ready for this sitting. Like, this isn't a primal part of the pack, not part of the pack game that fat people have to play all the freaking time. I mean, like a six-pack of pop, right? That this doesn't boil down to who

gets to own the world and who has to beg for accommodations from those who own the world. Because there's no fat, rich people? Yeah. That's true. That's true. Have you ever seen the CEO of ExxonMobil?

Just svelte, handsome. The Thin Elite. The 99% BMI must rise up. Nicely done. Thin Privilege is taking the world around you for granted, because it's your oyster. Oh god, do I want some oysters. I need oysters right now. Yeah, how many food references were in that?

Jelly, oysters. Well, you know, he was trying to write a serious thing. Something about having to sandwich in between people. I can't believe he left that out. Something about having to sandwich in between people. I can't believe you left that out. Note that much of this is also able-bodied privilege, and some extends more generally to privilege as a broad concept.

I don't know who I'm mad at, but I'm mad at them. That's what gets me about this social justice thing. It's just I don't even know what privilege means anymore when they do this. Is it like privilege is being able to... If you're able to do a thing, then you're oppressing people? Is that what it means now? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's not fair. If you're able to do a thing, then you're oppressing people? Is that what it means now? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's not fair. If you're able to do anything, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Anytime, if you're taking a walk, that's just like a personal attack against people in wheelchairs if you do that? Is that what privilege is? Yes, that's the concept of privilege. Yes, that's exactly what it is. Hey guys, it's important that you know the tags for this post. Okay, what are they? Yeah, fucking chairs. Sorry, wait.

Whatever you do, do not follow that tag. Oh my god. It's like human fuck furniture. Yeah, they don't make fuck chairs for 300 pound people. Fin privilege. Pack mentality. Dehumanization. And owning the world.

All pretty good metal band names. The pack mentality. It's not like people aren't making these chairs because they're angry at fat people. I'm sure there's fat people that make chairs. That's not true. That's not true. I have never once seen a fat Amish. Have you?

That is true. But they do work. Oh, damn right. Fat people wouldn't want to sit in Amish chairs anyway because they're not padded. Alright. Okay, so there are 21 things that you need to stop saying unless

you hate fat people. So 21 things to start saying more, huh? If you hate fat people. Yeah, on the doc, I cut it down to... Yeah. I trimmed the fat, if you will. We're not going to be doing all... Oh, come on now.

All right, we're not going to be doing all 21. I'm just going to take you through just a couple of these. Number one, stating a specific size, shape, or weight that's less okay. Example, women who are a little bigger are more attractive, but 400 pounds? No. Example, it's okay to be plus size as long as you don't have fat rolls. Fat acceptance is for all fat people. If you draw a line, 400 pounds, 500 pounds, apple-shaped, sheep with mobility issues.

If you wouldn't fuck a woman on a rascal, you're an asshole. You're being an asshole. So, like, apple-shaped means, like, the fat swells above the head, so the head is just a dimple inside the body, right? Presses up over the shoulders. I understand it, yes. And then you've got a little twig sticking out of your head. Yes. It's a cowlick.

And say that people on one side of the line are okay, and to say that people on the other side aren't, you are a part of the problem. If you aren't attracted to people over a certain weight, you're part of the problem. You have standards of any kind, you're part of the problem.

The thing is, they were talking about how, oh, you know, people make fun of fat people and that's what makes girls starve themselves. But if you lump together a girl who's, like, five pounds overweight with someone who's 500 pounds, I think that's doing more harm. And there's no such thing as drawing

a distinction between two things. Alright, uh, let's skip down to, let's say, number six. You cannot say literally anything about dieting ever! Say literally anything about dieting, eating

less, or exercising more in the context of fatness. Unless you hate fat people, you need to stop saying that. You have the rest of the world to talk about dieting. 99% of the spaces in the world are perfectly welcoming to all kinds of speech about diet and exercising. When you bring these things up in fat-positive conversations, there's four things that happen. First of all, you are stealing away the small amount of space we have carved out for ourselves.

And the jokes. I think you... It's just, it's too easy. Yeah, the jokes write themselves. Yeah. So that's number one. Number two, you are possibly triggering to fat people, thank you Tumblr, who are desperately

trying to heal their relationships with food. So look, I know what I'm doing is unhealthy, but how dare you point that out? Heal their relationships. So, me and chocolate had a falling out, Beau. This food would totally be healing my relationships, if only you wouldn't stop reminding me about it. But, okay, heal their relationships with food, not healthy food, because then you're talking about dieting. Oh, no, no, no. You need to talk to thin people about dieting.

Not fat people. I'm sure after I eat this scoop of ice cream, everything will be okay. Okay, there's two more things you're doing. You're probably jumping to conclusions, because you don't have any idea what the eating and exercising habits are of the fat people in question. I could take a fucking guess, can't I? And number four, and this is very important to the site. This is very, very important to the oof, the entire dynamic of the site.

And you're boring. Oh, ouch. Well, okay. There's nothing you can say about food and exercise that fat people haven't heard over and over and over again. For some reason. You know what is exciting? Hot air ballooning. I love hot air ballooning. You guys should try it.

Excuse me for being boring. You need to check your interesting privilege there. Well, I've already resigned myself not to improve myself, so this is just a boring conversation for me. New Year's resolution. Fuck you. Skipping now to number not to improve myself, so this is just a boring conversation for me. That news resolution. Fuck you. Skipping now to number eight,

you cannot ever talk about equating fat with health. Let me give you some examples. First of all, there's no connection. Example. I don't understand this fat acceptance. Just because some people are fat and okay with it doesn't mean we should be encouraging people to improve their health.

No! No saying that. Example. My mom has diabetes, doesn't exercise, doesn't eat healthy, and isn't happy at her weight. I'm concerned about her health, so how can I be fat accepting? No, you can't say that either for some reason. My mom is unhappy because she's fat.

Well, fucking... Get happy about it. Shut up. Don't acknowledge that. You cannot discuss that unless you hate fat people. Her feelings aren't as important as my feelings. I'm really greedy about that for some reason. If I accept that her losing weight will improve her situation, that means I'd have to admit that it might be true for me.

So your mom basically just has to suck and then die. Good luck. Also privileged. Privileged, humble privilege. You see what's happening here? Fat and health are two different things. You can be fat and healthy. You can be thin and unhealthy.

You can be singing the praises of fat from the rooftops and also be promoting healthy lifestyle choices. That actually says signing the praises of fat from the rooftops. So you have to make sure people can see you doing the sign language for fat. Excuse me, Your Majesty, would you sign this praise for me? First you have to rent a crane. Oh, a document in praise of fat? Oh, yes, I will sign this. Look, you can, you can, quote, get healthy, unquote,

but it won't lead to weight loss for most people. Says who? Weight and health are simply two different topics entirely. Well, no. No. The right answer is no, yes.

So there's like fat chicks in party lab coats that have proved this. Let's skip down to number 10 here. Recommending weight loss... Oh, sorry. Another thing you cannot do.

Recommending weight loss is a treatment or a solution to anything. Even if you are a doctor. Because we know better. We have a Tumblr. Or a website. Oh, God. Victor are a doctor. Because we know better. We have a Tumblr or a website. Oh, God.

Victor has a headache now. That's why I put it in there. Just don't say you have a fat head. That would be very triggering to me. Look, here's an example. If you lost a few pounds, your acne would clear up, too. Or, once I lost weight, my allergies got a lot better. You lie!

You lie! Since permanent, significant weight loss is not possible for most people... I know. What? What? What is that? Okay. Well, that's a true statement because McDonald's still exists, so what are they going to do?

Fair enough. You know? And since intentional weight loss may have negative health effects, recommending weight loss is cruel and unethical. I love that there's like this bipolar world where you're either fat and completely happy,

as if there's any evidence to the contrary, or like you're going on crazy crash diets and doing crystal meth all day. Also, prescribing weight loss displaces real working treatments. Everyone deserves to have their conditions taken seriously and treated with an effective care, regardless of their size. Come on, Victor. Why would you be such an awful person and prescribe someone a weight loss plan instead of giving them

tons and tons of drugs. What's wrong with you? Why are you such a cool person? Because I'm a monster and I think that the human knees were not designed to carry 500 pounds around. How dare you? How dare you?

Well, maybe the knees need to learn to be more fat-accepting, too. Seriously, take that up with fucking Darwin. Don't take it up with me. Oh, this talk is triggering my knees. Oh, no. But I just love this. I just love that kind of thing where they talk about, like, oh, you know, weight loss.

Weight loss is a bad thing. It's like, well, sometimes when people are starving, they lose weight. So, proven. Weight loss is always bad thing. It's like, well, sometimes when people are starving, they lose weight. So, proven. Weight loss is always bad. Yeah. You should be helping these people get better, unless they don't like it. Actually, I do have a quote that relates to that.

If you want, I put it face in the thing. It's scary how many of these comments have to do with doctors providing substandard care. And fat people have worse health and poorer health care outcomes because why? It has nothing to do with being

ignored and abused by the experts we consult about our health. That's why fat people have worse health, because the doctors... And I flunked out of school because the teachers sucked. The sound you hear is Victor getting sad. Yay, Victor! I just picture the person on the doctor's bench is like,

Doctor, tell me straight up. And it's like, well, you're 580 pounds and you're 5'3". It's like, Doctor, just tell me what I need to do. I'll do literally anything. Why are you talking about my weight? We're talking about my health here. What's wrong with you? Okay, number 12.

More things you cannot say. Using the words overweight, obese, morbidly obese, unless you are specifically referencing medicine and medical literature. Which you're not allowed to say anyway. What? These guys have a lot of fucking rules about what you can and cannot say. Yeah, I knew some other people that had rules about what you can and cannot say. They were also fat.

Alright, a lot of people won't agree with me on this one. Most people would say that these words are just categories with definitions. categories with definitions. Look, they are factual, in fun quotes, but they are science. But it is incorrect to assume that the words

of science don't also convey morals and meaning. I just want folks to know the word factual is in quotes. I like that it's incorrect to assume that the words of science don't convey meaning. Wait, keep going. The next line.

I'm submitting that as a banner. Overweight implies that there is a correct weight. The word obese has its root in the idea of eating too much does it really what a horrible notion wow greeks were assholes morbidly means sickly all of these medical terms, and using them, conveys that fatness is a medical problem. This pathologizing of our bodies is harmful.

I sometimes use these terms when I am talking about the results of research, but as much as possible, I leave these terms out of my language. Do you see how the one thing that I do is suddenly somehow kind of okay? Yeah. It's weird how that happens.

So, like, a fat person's in the hospital, and they need, like, surgery desperately, and so their chart is just empty, I guess. No, it says morbidly obese on it. No, I'm saying, but if you're not allowed... No, it's okay, because that's medical. Oh, okay. I'm referring to medicine. And finally, number 21

of this list of too many. Another thing you cannot do is use... Oh, I'm sorry. You cannot use any statements that imply that it's not okay to be fat, that people shouldn't get fat, or that people should try to weigh less. Example. I don't understand why someone

would let themselves get that fat. Don't say that. Another example. I'm happy with my body the way it is, but I wouldn't want to get any bigger. Jesus Christ. So there's a problem if you're not fatter. Yeah, no, well, making personal body choices

is not okay. It infringes on the people who have made other personal body choices. So fat acceptance is not about accepting It infringes on the people who have made other personal body choices. Fat acceptance is not about accepting that you are fat. It should be fattest acceptance. Not being the fattest is unacceptable. The problem is that you're

happy with the way you are and that you don't want to get any bigger. You should always be trying to get as fat as fucking humanly possible. It's not implying that. It's implying that you should not vocalize that. You should

never say that you're happy with how fat you are, because somebody else fatter could be an earshot and immediately start crying. I hear those fat people have really good hearing. Well, the senses improve. Okay, look.

Wait, no. I'm sorry. I got hard science. Hard science. I'm going to say the truest statement that we've ever read on this podcast, probably. Okay, look. We don't know how to make fat people into thin people or how to make thin people into fat people. We just don't know.

Science has yet to discover the secrets behind fatness. You know, it's... I mean, we're at, you know, a midpoint in our evolution. And there are things that mankind does not know. The evolution chart, like, when it's a skinny guy,

it's like a fat ass at the computer. Where does the fat come from? Like, just some really obese person, like, rolling down a chart in, like, a classroom. It's like, for years, the existence of the freshman 20 and how it is caused has eluded us. We have no known cause

for this strange phenomenon. Just spontaneous fatness. You wake up one day, and you're like 800 pounds. Perhaps one day scientists will figure out that the fat content of a person and the fat content

of the food that that person eats are somehow connected, but, you know, that day is not upon us yet. No. Anyway, it's okay for the people

who are fat to be fat. Fine. Okay. Fat isn't a horrible thing that we need to try desperately to avoid. The only horrible thing is the amount of abuse heaped onto the backs of fat people.

And those backs are already straining, so we shouldn't really throw anything else on them. Oh, okay. Can someone make an account on this and introduce these people to the lady stuffing... What were those people called? The feeders. And I'm assuming that while these people to the lady stuffing... What were those people called? The feeders. And I'm assuming that while these people might not be familiar,

their boyfriends are. Oh, I'm sure they are. Okay, so I will say that these next few things are from the Shakespeare blog. Shakespeare. That sounds nice. That sounds like a good time. Shakespeare has a shaxicon. I wouldn't expect you to be

all that fat in Shakesville. That's all it does is shake. It's milkshakesville. Milkshakesville. Nice. So, I don't know. Do you guys want a photo of what this woman looks like after we read about it or before?

I think I went after. Can cameras contain such things? So the lady that runs this blog, she has her own... She makes her own posts a lot. Sure. But we're reading a bunch of comments, too. We are reading some of her posts.

The main lady, I think her name is Melissa? She runs this blog about how unfair people are to fat people. Okay. Okay, so this is like the first thing. This is not the actual article itself. It's the comments. Yeah, she made a post about when fat shame didn't stop me.

And most of the comments were people just saying, oh, I wore something revealing. It's just like, okay, whatever. But this comment I thought was this comment that was submitted. It's pretty great. All right. All right. pretty great. Alright, alright. Isfahan, if you will be Mary Sue Spooniff. Okay. The most

recent thing I can think of is my last trip to Seattle for the Penny Arcade Expo. Fuck you, Pax. I spent the months ahead of that trip thinking about the mini donuts that you can get at the Pike Place Market,

which are fresh and tasty and oh so adorable. I want to go to the world-famous Pike Place Market, you know, the big fish market, and get a donut. And get donuts! They have guys that throw fish around, which you can watch while you're eating

your donuts. Did you say it was Fat Vortex? I sure am looking forward to Penny Arcade Expo and donuts. She went for the donuts and didn't know Penny Arcade Expo was there.

The day came and I walked the mile from my hotel at 7 a.m. to stand in line for the donuts. I'm not a morning person, so for me to get up and get moving that early was a miracle. Sure, it's because you weren't

a morning person. That's why you had trouble. Sometimes these jokes really are too easy. I know. The moment I say them, I'm like... No, that's the you had trouble. Sometimes these jokes really are too easy. I know. The moment I say them, I'm like... No, that's the beauty of it. I then thought to myself, I should only get six

and then find a secluded corner to eat them in so no one thinks I'm a fatty fat fat who stuffs donuts in her face all the time. You should have gone under a bridge. I should have hunched down and then gnawed them like a rat. Growl whenever someone comes near you. Like a raccoon, just wipe my hands every time.

God. And then I went, wait a flamboyant minute. I'm 31 years old. I'm on vacation. I have been craving these donuts for months. And if anyone doesn't like me watching me eat donuts, they can jump off the pier.

That's the only solution! That's the only way that you can not watch this woman eat donuts. Wait a minute. There's so much more, though. Listen to this. When she walks around the pier, she really walks around the pier. She's like, oh, God.

I wasn't built for this. Anyway. I got 18 doughnuts. And I ate them all as I wandered the market. Oh, God. They were delicious. Oh, God. As for Penny Arcade Expo, I never really got to that. It was a mile away.

Come on. Our Borderlands 2 can wait. But I like the change there. Like, in her mind, she thinks, oh, man, you know what? I would normally be reserved, but, man, I'm going to let loose. But then the actual, she's like, you know, I'll let loose even though people might think I'm fat. They might assume that I'm just being a glutton.

Moments later, 18 donuts walking around, eating them all and just shoving them in my face as I walk around. It's like, no, you actually are that glutton that people think you are. It really speaks back to the TV Tropes episode 2 of like the best moment in my life was

when I bought a shitload of donuts and ate them. Yay! So this woman, I assume she is rather large. Why would you assume that? You are an asshole. She's standing in line first thing in the morning for donuts, and she's self-conscious because she thinks if she buys too many donuts, she will look like a fatty fat fat. Yeah.

Not that she is actually already a gigantic person. Yeah, she's fucking waiting in line, like, for a PlayStation, but it's for donuts. But, hey, ParTex, can you read Knit Me a Pony's response? Uh, yeah, hang on, let me click on Pony. Okay, uh...

Oh, oh, oh. Okay, hang on. Knit Me a Pony. So it's not the I'm in the live action role-playing, it's the next one. Okay, hang on. Nip me a pony. It's not the I'm in the live action role playing. It's the next one. Though for a different podcast, that one would be a contender. Yeah, exactly. You understand you're following that up

with War Lioness, right? Yeah, I know. Okay, good. Oh my mod. I love these donuts. I'm now officially craving them. I mean, they're not baby flavored. What?

But they're the closest you can get without a prescription. Sage nod. Oh my god. Is that a Fat Chicks and Party Cats reference? You're so edgy. Oh man, you like the taste of baby. She used the voice I was going to use. I did?

No, this is good This is real There really are prescription strength donuts I'm in favor of more lumpy space princesses Yeah, do more I said we're going to fight Hi, hi I'm War Lioness What are you doing, War Lioness?

I LARP A fantasy medieval style. Hide in me a pony. And I've got this beautiful bodice slash light corset thing that laces in the front. So I look like a shoe with too big of a foot in it?

Okay. Well, I don't have a disgusting mental image in my head, so read on please. Good, good, good, good. I hated wearing it because my fat causes the front to pooch out a little and press against the front lacings. Oh, dear. I'm an in-betweenie. What?

That's like, that's when, that's the term they made up for like, oh, you're fat, but I can pass as normal. Because, you know, like gay people passing as straight. We're going to come up with that. No, you can't. You're not passing as much as you think you are. I think she just wanted to eat and be tweeny. Last week, I put the damn thing on and wore it out to the park.

Loud and proud and fat be damned. It took everything I had not to take it off in the car on the way to the park, but I did it. Last week, I put the damn thing on and wore it out at the park. So, oh... Mary Sue Spooneth has a nice reply here. Just thinking about them

to write about them is making me want them. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah. She lives in an eternal donut universe. Can we walk them? She lives in an eternal donut universe. She's a donut vampire of the donut lust. It's just... It's a donut Ouroboros.

Oh, that'd be cute. There it is. I'd eat that. I've got a bad case of the there's money in the travel account and I have the wanderlusts. That was a terrible turn of phrase. Are you going to take a specific trip to Seattle to have fucking donuts?

No, just wait. No. Baby donuts. She's going to wise up. I have to remind myself that money is not for baby donuts. It's for an eight-course meal at Morimoto Napa in December where I will be dining alone why is that? why will you be dining alone?

I can't convince anyone else in my family to A eat somewhere where there is the possibility of raw fish, and B, spend $200 on a meal. Also, they can't stand to be around me and watch me consume food. Yeah, so I'm going to just choke down the most disgusting, greasy McDonald's ever, but raw fish? And not even eating raw fish, but being around the possibility of raw fish.

I'm sure that's an excuse that they've all agreed on. I'm with Victor there. No, you don't have to eat the raw fish. Oh, no, it's just the idea of it. It's the smell. It's the, you know... It just grosses me out, and I lose my appetite just looking at it.

I just wonder, I mean, I don't know if Morimoto Napa is a sushi restaurant, but, I mean, you have to be committed to being fat to try to keep up being fat at a sushi restaurant. It's like, well, I've got to spend $200 because I've got to get fat on this shit. It's Morimoto from Iron Chef. Yeah. So there's lots of fat in that Today's secret ingredient is

Shame Guys, my name is Wench, okay? Hi Wench When I seriously started competing In ballroom dancing I had to get ball gowns I had to get them custom made because my height and weight, there's not a whole lot of ready made options out there.

I went and got measured by someone I'd never met before. Oh, Dish sister. Oh, Archie. I bought a dress that is cut scandalously high and reveals a whole lot of my back there's a whole lot of it to reveal it's more like your back reveals a little bit of the dress I also bought a dress that's form fitting

and has spaghetti straps so that's why there are no hot air balloons in Washington D.C. Nothing dances with the pop. Okay. When I got married, I brought my entourage

with me to try on dresses. My mother, my grandmother, honor attendant, sister, and two other members of the bridal party. And I tried on whatever dress I damn well wanted. I wound up getting a dress that had a halter neckline and laced up the back, and I looked fucking gorgeous! It was made of canvas and olive drab and had U.S. printed in the corner, but I liked it anyway. It's a parachute store.

I was thinking a tent. Parachute pants made out of a literal parachute. He went shopping at big and not so tall. Big and big. I also went out to dinner with my partner last night. This particular restaurant has delicious, delicious hand-cut fries served with gourmet sauces. One of which is, ooh, this is so exciting, a roasted garlic mayonnaise. It's like I'm in Paris. Oh, God.

Also, there was ketchup, but it was spicy. All right. Please finish and quickly, if at all possible. No, you have to finish, but it's so... Just tear through it, please. Not only did I gleefully eat half the order, I dipped my finger in the sauce and licked it because it is delicious,

and I still don't feel bad about it. Why not? God damn it. I know a few people watching you that probably feel bad about it. Why not? God damn it. I know a few people watching you that probably feel bad about it. That's not even like fat pride. That's bad manners. It's such a lie that like these people are, I mean,

the fiction that's being carried forth here is, you know, hey, we're all people that are completely comfortable with our weight and ourselves. And no, you're obviously, obviously not. No, but the thing is, is the only reason that they're not is because of your lack of fat acceptance. That's true. Yeah, it's everyone else's fault. If you would accept them, then they wouldn't have to have these feelings. For some reason, they're really bad about taking personal responsibility.

To be fair on the finger thing, though, her finger was probably as white and as full of fat as the fries themselves, so it was a lateral move, if anything. I love aioli. I don't find it extraordinary and gourmet, but I love it. I don't find it, like, extraordinary and gourmet, but I love it.

But I don't think I would just ram my finger in there and scoop it up like a spoon. Yeah. All right, so... All right, anyway. The next thing is the person submitting it still wanted Isfahan. I see that Isfahan is being demanded to read this one. Yeah. Hello.

Is there a specific voice? No, it's just the content. All right, take it, Macho Man. Isfahan? Who is that? That's me? Isfahan, yeah. They wanted you to read it.

Oh, okay. You were specifically requested to read this. I've never been called Macho before. It's kind of nice. Okay. Today in Fat Hatred, Fat Soldiers. Via Facebook, Pam Spalding of Pam's

House Blend shared this article from Mother Jones, Army Kicks Out More Gays Than Fat Soldiers. The article takes the tone that kicking gays, lesbians, and bisexuals out of the army is somehow far worse than kicking out someone for being fat. Ignoring, of course, the existence of GLB folk who are fat.

On the plus side, it means that Perez Hilton will never be in our fighting forces, so that's good. All the italics of the stuff in the article. So who would you be less comfortable in a hot air balloon with, a gay person or a fat person? I don't know. Are they a good shot? Anyway. I completely agree that don't ask, don't tell is a terrible thing, and something that should have ended a long time ago.

It's absolutely ridiculous that it's still going on in the face of all the evidence that it's harmful, that it's a harmful discriminatory policy. But fighting for LGBT rights doesn't give you carte blanche to get mad at that the army isn't discriminating enough against fat people.

Just because they want to, I guess. An unquoted part of the article mentioned, like, fatty fat hate you! You should all go to the gas chamber, fatty fats! Well, the inference is there. You have to read between the lines. And make no mistake, this article is not about the Army needing to discharge soldiers for failure to pass fitness tests. This is an article about the Army needing to discharge fat people for being fat.

Actually, yes, that is exactly what the article is about. The Army needs to discharge fat people for being fat. No, that's mean. Why so mean? And this is from the article. But the Army's recent discharge statistics, given a mojo by a government source, suggest that the service has been far more concerned about

its soldiers' sexual orientation than their waistlines, muscular endurance, or cardiovascular ability. In fiscal 2007 and 2008, the Army brass threw out 592 enlisted soldiers for violating DADT, more soldiers than it ejected for excessive body fat or fitness test failures combined. It's not about fitness tests except for the part that it was, but I'm choosing to ignore that part. It's not about fitness tests except for the part that it was, but I'm choosing to ignore that part. Yeah. The article is actually saying it's, you know, it's weird that they're kicking out more gays than fat people.

And they're like, they're kicking out fat people at all? What? This is news. Why? And, okay, I'm going to get off on a tangent if I keep thinking about this. Yeah, how dare the army not worry about soldiers' waistlines? I know that when my country needs defending, it's important to me what size pants my defenders are wearing. As if they're worried about it as a fashion choice. But that's the thing.

I mean, seriously, I actually do want to, if soldiers are going to be out there, I want to make sure they are fit soldiers who can do the dub. You're implying that there aren't... I want to make sure they are fit soldiers who can do the dub. You're implying that you hate fat people, Toast. I know. I couldn't help triggering you guys. Toast, how could you imply in all good conscience that there is a correlation between fatness and fitness? I know. It's just inside me there's a thin person who's apparently a cunt. I can't help it.

Is your thin head made? The service's response was to ease its fitness standards and make it harder for commanders to discharge overweight or underperforming soldiers. They're getting fat privilege! That's what that sentence said! They're getting fat privilege! Oh my god, okay, fine, sorry. My brain just exploded there, I'm sorry. That's an or right there. In other words, the author feels that someone who is overweight but not underperforming should be discharged. As in, oh noes, they aren't kicking out the fatties who perform up to the standard.

No, that's not what that says at all. I didn't say that at all. But if it says something else, I couldn't get mad at it, so I that's not what that says at all. It doesn't exist. It doesn't say that at all. Yeah. But if it says something else, I couldn't get mad at it, so I'll choose to think that it says this. Yeah, exactly. In 0809, it was so bad that I had a warrant officer who demanded we get him XXXL flight uniforms,

one active army officer tells Mother Joan. What was he flying in? He probably couldn't fit in the cockpit. There was an air balloon. Those things aren't big. I squeezed into the danger zone. He couldn't wear the new camouflage pattern ones because they didn't make them for a guy who was 313 pounds. The officer added,

some people really are too big to fail, I guess. Old people jokes. Yes, the officer demanded a uniform that fit. What an ungrateful asshole. Yeah, the problem here isn't that he shouldn't be in a uniform in the first place.

It's almost like he wanted to be clothed while he does his job in service to our country. Silly fat people. Clothing, respect, and honor are for skinny people. And... Okay. Shut up, Isbon. I can hear Isbon, like the steam shooting out of Isbon's ears.

As he's trying... Sorry to say this. I don't see anything in this document that moves past where we've already been. And it goes on forever. Yeah. I think I would agree with that. All right, well, okay, just the very last line, then, if you want to. This post is not about comparing the oppression of gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals

and the treatment of fat individuals. This is entirely about Mother Jones' argument that fat necessarily disqualifies one from being considered capable. Why did that sentence end there? From being considered capable of running two miles in under 15 minutes, perhaps? Considered capable of doing more than

45 sit-ups in two minutes? A fat person can do all those things. What the fuck? So mean. It just takes a while. Yeah, we gotta move on because, oh my god, this next thing is fucking amazing. Yeah, it is. Okay. So this is written by the lady.

That last one was also, but this is something that happened to the blog owner. So, Victor Laszlo, you get to be Melissa McEwen. Melissa McEwen. Melissa McEwen. And please make sure to read the title of this piece. So, two days in the life of Fatty Fatasper. Poor superhero. I was thinking of it more like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. Fatty Fat Fat.

Like it's a bunch of kids that solve mysteries with a fat guy. I never win the wacky races. What the fuck? He's got wild hair. At the end of every episode, he's eating a donut or something. Like, fat guy! Fatty!

So we know the picture for this. Like, Zoinks, would you like a fatty treat? Oh god, yes. Oh god., yes. Oh, God. Fat, fat, fat. Donut. Okay, back to the pap smear. Yeah.

The nurse gave me two sheets of material that was something between the butcher block paper they put on the tables and a giant paper towel. That's weird. What a weird hospital you must have been in. Yeah, you need that wax coating. One for your top and one for your bottom, she said. Just kind of cover yourself up with them. She avoided my eyes. The offices that

use those disposable paper gowns never have them in a size big enough for me. I know this. But instead of her saying to me, honestly and forthrightly, I'm sorry, we cannot accommodate your body with the covers we have, she awkwardly avoided the subject altogether,

as if I couldn't figure it out, as if her embarrassment for me was not evident. She was just giving you something. So the fact that she didn't say, it's because you're fat, that's insulting. And you know that if the nurse had said that what she said there, I'm sorry, we can't accommodate your body with the covers we had, you know that's supposed to be about, oh, she had to point out how fat I was. Exactly. She had to say something. If she had said, I'm sorry, we cannot accommodate your body with the covers we have, she would have been up in arms anyway.

Yeah. Up in very, very jiggly arms. That's not true. She's not looking for things to be upset about. Just see. Just watch. You'll see. It's like Kevin Smith being all angry that he has to buy two plane seats. Just because he has to fucking fit

in two different plane seats. Because he is an unfunny fat asshole. Went a little personal there, but alright. It's mostly because he's unfunny. Funny privilege. I'm sorry, these chairs only work for funny people. You don't deserve to be happy. You're not funny. When the doctor came in and looked at me,

she asked the nurse, where's the top gown? The nurse quietly stammered, those ones are too flimsy, so I just gave her two of the bottom ones. They both looked at me, lying on the table, naked, but the two giant paper towels laying over me. I would have preferred to just be naked instead of lying there,

feeling obliged to cover my fat body for the comfort of my nurse and doctor. Let me guess, let me guess. The two giant paper towels were slowly turning clear. It's like rubbing chicken against the paper towel. So, like, The doctors don't do that for their own comfort. They do it for the patients, yes? Yeah, naked bodies.

The doctor who can't look at naked bodies. The doctor's about to get wrist deep in her crotch, so the paper towels don't really help. Yeah, we all know for everybody except for fat people that going to the doctor's office is totally not a dehumanizing experience.

Yeah. It was so warm, but for her, they specifically made it a really weird dehumanizing thing. I don't know about you guys, but I pulled off a hospital gown. It's like, hey there. I've seen the photos. It's pretty nice.

Just lay back on the table with my hands behind my head like a record executive. You like what you see? Yeah. Wrap yourself up like a deli sandwich. Unwrap me, doctor. Wrap her in clink film. I'll make that shit work. All right.

Anyway. So, the proverbial light bulb went on. Ah, said the doctor. and they exchanged a look. She didn't mention the part where she talked behind her hand going, Gosh, she's really fat. Dude, she's super fat. Later, I would consider with bitter amusement that the US-ian medical community constantly howls about the obesity crisis eleventy

and all their OMG fat eleventy patients, and yet despite servicing a fat clientele, they can't shut up about, they can't find a fucking paper gown to fit me. Yeah, yeah. about, they can't find a fucking paper gown to fit me. Yeah, despite having a lot of fat patients, they didn't have one big enough for you.

Fucking think about that. So that said, do you want to see what she looks like? Yeah. Sure. I don't actually think so. I don't want to record this reaction. Yeah. So, there you go. Oh.

Actually, not as bad as I thought it would be. Atari! I was going to say, I've done public exams on fatter people than that. See, on a normal... On a thinner person, that shirt just says Atari, but on her it does say Atari! Atari! It's like, uh, yeah.

Speaking of pitfall. Alright. Because of the set. Speaking of burger time. Burger time! Alright, so this last thing is the last thing on the dock. It's just a response to someone saying

that they were fat shamed at a physical. But this is someone's comment response to it. And it's... It makes me laugh. John, I heard you begging for this. Is that right? This is a fat shaming physical.

A doctor forced me to be weighed in... Wait, I'm sorry. I have no idea what your name is. Oh, my sorry is... Introduce yourself to me, please! I'm sorry, this is a fat shaming physical, and my name is My Story Will Be Told. Through the ages! Yes.

An epic tale of hero... heroic actions and valor. And fat. A doctor forced me to be weighted and look at the number after I'd gained a lot of weight I never look at scales or I go on backwards they are a huge trigger for me

but again it's fine I'm totally comfortable with my body and everything's cool and everyone's just gotta leave me alone it's just a number like age I ended up the punchline is I ended up locking myself my body and everything's cool and everyone's just got to leave me alone. It's just a number. Like age. The punchline is I ended up locking myself in the exam room for two hours and then left through a window. I also got

charged a huge sum. Sorry. Sorry, we laughed over the last sentence. What was that, John? Well, I also got charged a huge sum. That may have been for the bill, but it may have been for the window I broke through. I just imagined that when they locked themselves in the exam room for two hours, like, that was how long it took them to get unstuck from the window.

It's like Winnie the Pooh. Oh, bother. I'm fat. I like that we can't find other comments to read on this, because they're all, like, five-page... Like, the fat-shaming thread is all, like, five-page long comments. Yeah, I know. It really is. Yeah, they should really trim the... Oh. Oh.

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to trigger anyone. Wow. That's just such a great mental image. I know! I know! I like the... The fat guy going all fucking! I like the handkerchiefs tied together. Goes all fucking Vietnam flashback and he leaps through the window.

I just picture the doctor walking in and not saying anything about to say something, but then when the door opens it just sees the butt sticking out and the two little legs wriggling like just hearing the muffled screams and then just being like, just walking back out the door.

All right, I'm good. I think I'll check someone else out. Because she looked at a number. She looked at her own weight. Yeah. Which was tricky. Like you said. That's what caused this to happen. It's triggering to me

because it's the worst thing, but it's okay. God forbid the doctor charge you money for you wasting their time for two hours in the exam room. Yeah, that's two hours of exam room time for you because you had to take up the room and not let anyone else in. I like that, too, that you sat in there for two hours and then left through the window. What did you do for two fucking hours?

She was like, man, if I leave out the window... Angry birds. In a doctor's exam room, there's literally nothing to do in there. It's obvious what she did. She waited. Oh, come on. Hey, Boots. I'm sorry, do you like the scale of that joke?

Will you put a sad trample in there for us? We're gonna start... John, we're gonna start bleeping you. You know that. I'm fine with that. John, we're going to start bleeping you. That's even worse. I'm fine with that. Boots, would you please bring me some fat libertarian realness? Yeah, I could do that.

Good. Your name is Canada Goose, by the way. Okay, I want you to read that, but I'm just saying for me at least, just those three words together is enough. You can just say that and I'm good. That's already gold. Alright, guys. Hi, Canada Goose. Hi, I'm Canada Goose.

I have a completely libertarian view on the question of fat. Oh, good. Well, believe it or not, you've got some good company then. You don't want to know what my view on the answer of fat is. But the question of fat, my view, is libertarian. You do not have to justify yourself in any way.

No one deserves fat shaming. Okay, I agree with that. Whether she's or he is eating a lovely healthy turkey sandwich or a giant hot fudge sundae. It's no one's business if I'm buying carrots at the supper market or a basket full of Twinkies. Fuck them. Yeah!

Yeah, man. I kind of agree with that, except for the supper market. Yeah, I like the Freudian slip right into the dessert aisle there with the supper market. Sorry. This persecution is so fake

also the double standard regarding like freedom of speech and all that stuff you're not allowed to say these things you're not allowed to even think these things or hold these beliefs and hey guess what libertarian asshole no one gives a fuck

if you're at the supermarket buying a basket full of Twinkies nobody gives a fuck nobody cares about the fact if you're at the supermarket buying a basket full of Twinkies. Nobody gives a fuck! Nobody cares about the fact that you're buying Twinkies. That shit in your head where you think you're super important and everyone gives a fuck about it? Nobody cares about you! What are you talking about?

We care. We read it. I care about you, whale. I care about you. Anyway. I care about you. Anyway. I gotta say, actually, on Friday, I went to the grocery store, and I bought whipping cream, pudding, chocolate, and graham crackers.

And the woman at the checkout counter said, well, you're up to no good. Up to no good. Well, you see, that's kink-shaming. Did you... Oh, my. Did you... At that point, shaming. Oh, my. At that point, did you push your sunglasses down onto your nose and look at her over them?

I locked myself in the dairy fridge. He reached into his phone and switched on his smartphone so that yellow's oh yeah could play. Oh yeah. Then escaped. Oh, I'm sorry, poor Tex, just one line. Just one sentence from Moxie Song. I cannot even tell you how many times I get slut-shamed or fat-shamed in World of Warcraft. I'm so fat that it translates to World of Warcraft. Think about the stereotypical World of Warcraft player.

Now think about that person making fun of someone for being fat. Isn't that game like... It's like avatars right It's like characters So did you make your World of Warcraft character Like a super fat slut Well to be fair Most adolescent

Males will call any woman On a chat line Fat sluts Well they call them like sluts But like all the female avatars in World of Warcraft are, like, super thin and, like, athletic. Right. Like, even if the male counterparts

are super ugly and weird-looking. So, this lady is so fat that she broke the game and it made her avatar fat. I'm guessing this is what happened. Well, no, I think we're thinking about this the wrong way. It's like, I'm betting somebody on the game says, oh, I bet you're fat. The person's way. It's like, I'm betting somebody on the game says, oh, I bet

you're fat. The person's like, oh, stop fat-shaming me and quits. And then the person on the other end's like, but I'm fat, too. I just wanted to be friends. I'm also a slut. I'm in Seattle. I could mail you donuts. We're all fat. I bet you're fat. Wow. We're all fat down here.

Would you like a balloon, Georgie? It's full of whipped cream. Yes, I would then. Hey, all of you women. Now don't come around. Unless you weigh around 400 pounds. And there we go. Around about an hour of fat people.

Angry people. Do, do, do, do. John, what did you learn this week? I learned that fried food is so delicious, people will invent entire systems of oppression just so they can keep eating it. It's true. It's true. I mean, God knows.

I do plenty of unhealthy shit in my life, and I constantly have to justify, you know, well, sure, you know, I'm having a cigarette, but, you know, I ran yesterday, so it's all fine. But it's the difference between, like, that, that's one thing, but it's the difference between being like, oh, I eat so much fast food because I don't like to cook, and I'm just tired after work, so I just go grab fast food on the way home. There's a difference between that and being like, I eat fast food because I don't like to cook and I'm just tired after work so I just go grab fast food on the way home. There's a difference between that and being

like, I eat fast food because down with the man who's trying to oppress me and treat me like I'm subhuman because I'm fat. I must balloon up so that I can have solidarity with my people. And it's just like, okay, yeah, Popeye's is delicious but, you know, it's just

it's kind of bullshit to invent this whole sub-weird racism thing just so you can eat it. Yeah, well, you know, it's just it's kind of bullshit to invent this whole sub weird racism thing just so you know, it's yeah, it's an interesting thing, because obviously, like the episode that we've done is kind of about fat people, but it's not about fat people because it's about obnoxious people. It's about people that have lost their goddamn mind and have no sense of perspective and want to live in a world wherein free speech is absolute and the most important thing, unless it offends them, in which case it should all be curtailed. So are you saying that a world where free speech is actually putting things back into your mouth, like that speech now? Fat joke number three. All right.

I want to give big ups and thanks to a couple people who made this thing possible. First of all, you got Montreth, the submitter extraordinaire. Montreth, whose name you'll be hearing in a number of podcasts. I don't know how Montreth has spun this into a full-time job submitting to us, but Godspeed to her. Anyway, thank you, Montreth. Thank you also, Jacobabba, which is how I pronounce your name. Jacobabba. Jacobabba.

And finally, Lady Frenzy, which is so much fun to say. Lady Frenzy. So it's either... I mean, it's one of two things. It's either like Lady Frenzy, like it's a lady and she, you know, is fit into a rage,

or it's the state of just being in a frenzy of ladies. Like, doctor, doctor, I've got the Lady Frenzy. I thought maybe it was like a chav, like British rockers, or a chzy of ladies. Like, doctor, doctor, I've got the lady frenzy. I thought maybe it was like a chav, like, British rocker or something like that, or a British rapper. Oh, sure, lady frenzy. Yo, yo, this is lady work. Yeah, that would frenzy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Another British accent. Yay! Also, poor Tex put this whole thing together, but this was three different submissions from people about this very topic that we put together into one concise episode. I thought it was fun. Hopefully you thought the same. Our website, as always, thefpl.us, where you, too,

can submit content to us. We're taking all sorts of things, but really, you don't actually need to send us any mail like Iron John kind of shit. We've gotten a lot of submissions about that. We don't need the manpower stuff right now. But anything else, please send it along.

Maybe we can turn it into an episode. Yes. Thank you so much for submissions. And until next time. Oh, no. Oppression. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Good night. Oh. Did you say singlet privilege? Singlet privilege is about only having one person in your head. That's not... That's you. Oh, okay. And it's you. That's not... That's you. And it's you. It's not about wearing wrestling outfits. We already made that joke like a million times.

Listen to the fucking podcast. Have you listened? Yeah, I guess not. I'm a little behind, sue me. I noticed. Oh, these people are not familiar with little behinds. Oh, hey! I like it.

You're so mean, Svahn!