The F Plus - 92: We Don't Not Need No Uneducation

Episode Date: January 21, 2013

Parenting, as many have said, is a difficult task. But it's a task that's made significantly simpler if you just decide you'll let your children do whatever they want. We're exploring the forums of mothering.com, a place where mothers can gather to discuss raising the single most brilliant and unique person the world has ever known, but it turns out there's quite a few of them. This week, we're stocking up on Placenta Helper.

Let's stop talking about the Avatar. Why is one eye like goofball? It's from a Reader's Digest column, Humor in Uterus. Oh, God. Life in these fallopian tubes? I got a million of them. Okay, okay, okay.

I wanna be mama. I wanna be mother. I wanna be hugged. I wanna be smothered. With love and kisses all the time. Hey there, this is the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things, red with enthusiasm. My name's Lemon.

And I'm Jimmy Franks. Jimmy Franks, how's it going tonight? Good, man. I'm just relaxing. I got the night off from my lady friend and thinking about doing some podcasting. How are things with your lady friend? Are things getting good? Things getting serious?

It's getting kind of serious. We've had some long talks about maybe things in the future that men and women talk about. Sure, sure. So you're talking about future things. You're talking about and women talk about. Sure, sure. So you're talking about future things. You're talking about marriage. You're talking about children. Yeah, yeah. It's important to know where you stand with somebody

if you're going to be potentially raising a kid with them. Sure. I mean, yeah, absolutely. And then if you are having that conversation, you have to know that you both agree that a child is special and a child should not ever be scolded ever and should just be allowed to do whatever they want at the cost of whoever that affects. Yeah. That sounds perfectly sane and rational. What we have today is a website called mothering.com.

Ooh. And mothering.com is a site, a forum of mothers, which makes sense. Right. But they are into such things as unschooling and general, let's say, controversial things to do with placentas. Oh, good.

This sounds like a repository of excellent advice. It really is. It really is. So, you know, if you've got a little one or, you know, you're expecting one on the way, this is going to be something. Let's find out. All right. Readers, assemble!

I want to be my mud all the time, for I'm a big baby all the time. In the room tonight, we have Victor Laszlo. I see why animals eat it, as their diets are so pure, but my placenta had to deal with medications, pesticides, and way too many Skittles. Oh, stog. Is breast milk a vegetable? John Toast. Our two young cats seem to think that our garden beds are a litter box.

We found pooping in a wind that's both cats popping a squat right in front of us. Disgusting. Portex? Unschooled babies. The cut's so big that they can engulf Mount Olympus in all its majesty. Mr. Jimmy Franks! I've heard of other women making fruit smoothies with their placentas. And lemon.

I am so tired of hearing from parents who are doing bad parenting. I want wanna be mama all the time. Alright, so you know what charity bothers me the most? Does anyone have any guesses? Cats with low self-esteem? No, it's not a charity. Child's Play?

Salvation Army. What charity would that be? The charity that bothers me the most is the American Red Cross. I feel like, you know, it's clearly an organization that's doing more harm than good. Jump, jump. Would you say they make you cross? No, I wouldn't say that, actually. I heard that they took all the Red Crosses out of the video games, and I can't stand by that.

Sorry, Red Cross, but you suck. Now do too, but the Xbox has a pill instead of a cross. I'm mad. So there's, you know, I mean, it's nice that the Red Cross came in there to do disaster relief in Japan. You know, I guess, you know, that's a good thing. But Jimmy Franks is going to point out

that they really did a lot more harm than good. Jimmy Franks, your name is forever in blue jeans. It is, as a matter of fact. And you like a chihuahua. It is unfortunate on so many levels that the ARC chose a picture of a woman bottle feeding a baby to try and get people

to donate money to the relief effort in Japan. Of course, breastfed babies are more likely to survive in disaster situations. Of course breastfed babies are more likely to survive in disaster situations. Of course. There's extensive research that proves that. Yeah, it's called What Forever in Blue Jeans Thinks.

What is needed is breastfeeding information and support and information about relactation. Japan has low... What is relactation? Is that a real thing? It's a fetish. Don't worry about it. I think that relactation, honestly, I think that relactation? Is that a real thing? It's a fetish. Don't worry about it. I think that relactation, honestly, I think that relactation is like pumped breast milk that you save and feed to them later. Which, I mean, if we're actually showing a picture of a woman that's bottle feeding a baby, it could be that.

But, you know, I'll assume that it isn't so that I can be angry about it. But yeah, then forever in blue jeans can get mad on the internet. What's the point? I'll assume that it isn't so that I can be angry about it. But yeah, then Forever in Blue jeans can get mad on the internet. Right. What's the point? Japan has low breastfeeding rates, and the government has been trying to improve infant health and breastfeeding rates before the disaster. There will be a need for some formula for babies that do not have access to their mother's milk or the milk of another mother. My milk from another mother. However, organizations should not use pictures of infants and bottles to solicit money or other donations.

I will not give any money to any organization that spends money on infant formula. Fuck you! So the baby can either starve or get mother's milk. Right, exactly. Yeah, have higher standards, baby. Well, no. But Forever in Blue standards, baby. Well, no. But Forever in Blue Jeans is totally missing the point. They're showing a bottle-fed baby to show, like, this is what happens when you don't donate.

When you donate, we can actually buy a breast for this baby. It's like, you know, Celine Dion's there. With your help, we can get a real nipple inside this baby's mouth. Suckling from Sean Penn's man breast. Tastes like pretension. We can buy

cows for babies and have them suckle from the teats. I searched and didn't find any other threads on the topic. If there have been, I'm sorry if I'm bringing up something that has already been discussed. I've emailed the American Red Cross with my concern. Wouldn't it be great if this topic made it to one of the morning news

shows? No. Indeed. No, it would... This just in, a bunch of dumb cunts think babies need to starve. We're gonna talk to one of them here in a minute. Oh, good! I'm gonna be on a morning show where I'll be portrayed in a positive light. Alright, I think it's good enough

for it to get really gross So to that end One in That was the palate cleanser Right, yeah, it's a nice simple I hate to have an exercise program run by you, Lemon Okay, one squat, two squat Okay, run 26 miles, go

We had a nice warm up about a woman that wants infants to starve to death. And now we're going to get into Lotus Birth. John, your name is Majizama. Oh! And your avatar is a happy baby sort of with a, like, hug face coming out of a vagina. No, I'm going to assume that's a giant pistachio.

It looks like a roast chicken. Oh, and underneath the avatar it says, Surprise! I think Stalk's right, it is coming out of a chicken. Surprise! I put a baby in this chicken. Majizama, will you tell us about Lotus Birth? Hello, I am Majizama!

I'm planning on doing this with my baby. I read a book on Lotus Birth, saying that it's more of a spiritual connection to the placenta that is allowed to fall away with time. At first I thought it was kind of gross, but after reading the book and hearing about people's stories about their very empowering experiences with lotus birth, I'm ready to try it! Yeah. Anyone else done it before or planning on it? So, you know, just to clarify, you know, when a child is born and they

kind of separate the placenta and then they go, look at that! And then they throw it away. Instead of doing that, it's just sort of like allowing the placenta to remain attached until it rots off. So this is a completely wrapped up in disgusting film. Stog, you are Amy NFL.

I'm Amy from the NFL. Go Packers. I'm going to eat mine so I need it, smiley face. Oh, God. I'm going to eat mine so I need it, smiley face. No, okay, good. Go ahead. I don't want to hear it again.

I like the spiritual aspect of Lotus Birth, but I had a pretty bad case of PPD the first time, so I feel like I need the placenta more than the baby does, and baby needs a level-headed mama more than it needs the placenta! Uh, agreed. Baby needs a level-headed mama who eats placentas. Touchdown! That's what I say when people get my point.

I feel good, but it's being put to good use either way. Okay, so, okay, postpartum depression is a serious actual problem, but I think you're, you know, I don't think this is the next step. It's like, oh, I don't want to get postpartum depression again. Placenta! Yeah, you know what would make me more depressed? Eating a placenta. That's the problem.

That's what I didn't do right last time. And there's no point in human history as anyone would sit down just being like, God, I don't feel good. You know, cheer me the fuck up. Eating a goddamn placenta. Yeah, it's like pigging out on ice cream. You meant polenta, right? No? No?

Oh, you did mean placenta. Okay, thanks. Oh, boy. I'm going to go over here. Okay, well, let's move on to go over here. Okay. Well, let's move on to a different, completely different thread also about eating placenta. Of course.

We're not going to talk about encapsulating it. That's just fucking weird. Paula Deen's 25 top lip-smacking placenta recipes. Now you're going to need butter. Butter and butter.

John, back to the previous topic. Majizama responds. Majizama again. I prepared my DD2's placenta with the dehydrating, grinding it up, and encapsulating it. But I never ended up using it. I didn't have PPD with her because it was a very peaceful, unhindered UC. What the hell's a UC? I don't know.

I'm keeping going. I ended up giving the dried placenta to the garden. Thank you. Circle of life. Oh, and now we have a placenta tree. The giving tree's all, okay, just take the apples. It's cool. I don't worry about it.

How come our property value went down? It's the plot to Poltergeist 4. They buried the placentas under the house. You didn't tell us there was placentas under there, did you? So it's like whenever you plant the seed

pictures onto the different crops of one of the placenta up there. The seeds for that are kept in the little bags that they keep penthouses in. Now guys, let's listen to this next sentence and see what you think about it. Maybe you agree?

I don't know. I actually did not digest the placenta very well, and I think it was partly because of my diet and pregnancy. That's got to be it, right? It's because of my diet and pregnancy contains 0% placenta. It's because of the things I ate other than the placenta. That's why I didn't digest it. Yeah, the other reason is because, and I don't know if you guys knew this,

it's a goddamn placenta. Oh, that's right. It's not fucking food. It's a placenta. I didn't think about that. Also, part of the idea with Lotus Birth is that the placenta

is the baby's. It's its companion. It's pillow. It's air and food. It's my baby's pillow. I put him to sleep on his placenta. This version of Peanuts

has gotten out of control. This way the baby can blow it up and float over to a better parent. The idea is the baby should be allowed to let go of the placenta when they are ready. In some cultures, they say it's the baby's other half.

As they were once just a few cells together with it. I just see how fascinated my girls are with the umbilical cord and the placenta. There's something very sacred about the placenta. No, I think what you're reading is that even as a baby, the girls are like, why the hell is this still on me? I always love

this idea, too, that like, oh, in some cultures they say this, or in some cultures they do that. Like, that makes some bizarre fucking practice holy. I heard a not-white person did it once. Yeah. In some cultures that you die at 30. That's holy. I heard a not white person did it once. Yeah, like... In some cultures, you die at 30. That's holy.

Other cultures are like, you know, the aliens in Avatar, right? Like, because they're this different culture, everything they do is sacred and native, right? You know? Yeah.

Exactly. I would only eat the placenta again if I was super healthy before and during the pregnancy. Like all organic foods, spring water, that sort of thing. The placenta is like a liver. It it filters the blood so I think that it gets a lot of toxins in there unless one is super healthy fucking even

know what you're talking about now now that be that being said I have heard that you could preserve the placenta and a cooler with ice and still do a lotus birth. Fucking hang out with the guy who stuck his jizz in the freezer and had it somewhere from the door. You don't want to go to Majizama's picnic. What did you bring for the potluck? Oh, placenta! Again! I also put

my baby in a chick and I hope everyone's cool with that. Fucking placenta pot pie over here. Okay, so the users of mothering.com, to a pretty large degree, are ill-informed, nouveau hippies. No. Yeah, and so to that end, there's all sorts of anti-vax. Oh, boy. Stupidity.

Oh, God. So I'm going to read a post by California Mom that begins, If there was a vaccine for AIDS. So we're already on to a good start. Like, I can't imagine anything. If there was a vaccine for AIDS, wouldn't that be great? Because then nobody else would die of AIDS. This is going to be a good post, right?

A good one? No, no. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Okay. So I'm California, Mom. My location is California. Imagine that.

I'm trying to make a simple argument for not vaxxing for Hep B. Could I compare the disease to AIDS in the sense that it's a sexually transmitted disease? Oh, God. For example, assume I'm talking to someone thinking of the Hep B vaccine for their baby. If, quote, if there was an AIDS vaccine available right now, would you inject your baby with it like we do with Hep B? Quim? What? Is there something I'm missing?

I think so. Can Hep B be transmitted more easily than AIDS? Is there any reason on this green earth of ours why a baby needs to be vaccinated for Hep B? Because that's what it's the most effective, you fucking moron! If I get this vaccine for my baby, will it become a slut? Yeah. Yeah, California mom is uh uh married to mike huckabee yeah so this person is saying that oh it would make sense to vaccinate against my baby

against hepatitis b because my baby's not going to be having sex so there's no reason for it it's transmitted just through blood no it's sex it's a sex It's called an STD, not a BTD. Also, I think, Portex, to your point, I think California Mom would say quim. That's true. Point California Mom. Victor, bring some logic in as Firestorm, please. No, no, no.

You actually bring some intellect to this. Yes. There's a pretty big difference as far as transmission goes. Hep B can live outside the human body for quite a while. Therefore, people can use the casual contact argument. The HIV virus has a very short lifespan outside of the body. Wham. And I respond, oh, okay, thanks.

Crap, guess I better keep looking. So literally, I'm not going to vaccinate. No, not keep looking. Oh, I'm sorry, better keep thinking. I better keep thinking. So literally, like, I know I'm not going to vaccinate my child against Hep B, but I don't know why I'm doing that. So I'm trying to think of a reason.

Now, yeah, I'm just guessing here, but I think her whole idea is where a lot of people are really mad about the Hep B vaccine because they think it encourages sexual promiscuity. So if I lump an AIDS vaccine in with that, if it existed, then people would be okay with that, right? And then I could lead to the non-vaccine thing. But the thing is, those kind of people, they're not really going off of logic. It's just, you know, I don't think Jesus likes this. No.

It's like, you don't need to build a case. If there was an AIDS vaccine, they'd probably be against that too. That Hep B vaccine is turning all those babies into fucking sluts. Yeah, exactly. Jesus wants your babies to do it too. John, finish this off with Candid FL. Oh, it's Candid FL. Rawr, I'm Candid FL.

Rawr, rawr. Last I heard, it was a live virus vaccine so you can imagine the repercussions of using this vaccine worldwide yeah the disease goes away everyone has Hep B now by immunizing people against Hep B

now everyone has Hep B why didn't scientists think that this would be a problem you laugh but that's the out of the box thinking modern medical science needs we can't cure Hep B but? You laugh, but that's the out-of-the-box thinking modern medical science needs. It's like, all right, all right, we can't cure Hep B, but what if we gave everyone it? That's shit. Then you don't have to worry about infecting anyone. That's shit you hear from a really terribly written supervillain.

We can apply that to other public policies, too. It's like, all right, handicap raps are being a problem. What if we chop off everyone's legs? Then everybody will be for it. So, on a somewhat related note, this is a post on autism. Is there a vaccine for autism? Because that would really

throw these people for a loop. Yeah, but it gives you Hep B. Yeah, you just grind down Sonic the Hedgehog 2 cartridges and eject them directly into your head. Oh my god. Okay. Alright, so my name is...

I am scared that my 23-month-old son may be autistic. I have read some things on it, and he matches some, but two people, one a-der, just told me he will be fine. He will catch up on some things, and the other stuff, they don't know. Oh, okay then. That's a pretty good diagnosis. Doctor, he may be autistic. He's reading at a two-year-old level. He's really poor at football, though. Just so you know that I'm not every mom in the world, he is super, super, super smart.

It's unbelievable. I don't know who I should talk to or anything. If any of you cowled, please help me out. Any, please do. Okay, well, I'd love to help you out, but I just need, like, a little bit more, like, information. Oh, that's okay. Here are some things. Okay, good. Some things.

He screams for no reason. I mean, out of the blue sometimes. He laughs for no reason. Sometimes he does smile. The only kid he will play with is a seven-yo, and that is sometimes book he rather play with is a seven-yo, and that is sometimes book he rather play by himself. So sometimes he acts childish.

It's the damnedest thing. He is extra clingy to me. It's almost like I'm his mother. My mom was concerned about that. Not the normal either. I mean, I leave the room or take the dog out, and he will scream loud.esus christ yeah but

is your is your child special at all oh yes he is very very very smart yeah a lot smarter than most kids his age and me too apparently yeah we have a lady from new mother's relief thrown the navy who said that but he is way behind on talking like he should, which I read is a sign. I am just worried, and I found out today my husband is too. What, autistic? Whatever.

He has Derswed. Maybe they can help, or maybe we will have to get referred to a specialist. Can someone maybe help? Is Rob the parrot somewhere who can

just translate what the fuck I just said? No, but no, because instead we have Stog, who pretty much sums up the entire belief of this forum. Welcome and smiley face. Is he vaccinated? Angela! Angela! Welcome and smiley face. Is he vaccinated? Angela.

They ask, you know, is your child vaccinated? And she says yes. And they go, well, yeah, then he's clearly autistic. One plus one equals two. Another Cracker Jack internet diagnosis. Thanks, computer. That's what I'd call it if it was one of these people giving it. We're going to do this one. This is also on the topic of autism.

John, you are Phoebe Glee. Phoebe Glee. Hi, I'm Phoebe Glee. Where do you live, Phoebe Glee? Oh, I live in a free place. That's nice. So the name of the topic that I made is Fluff Factory Auctions to Support Autism Speaks.

Meh. Meh. Good, you live on Tumblr, don't you? I'm not an Autism Speaks fan, specifically. Fuck you. I don't care for their video, Autism Every Day. Fuck you. Fluff Factory.

Just thought I'd say that, too. Fuck you. Don't Speak For Me explains why Autism Every Day is controversial and disliked by many. Fuck you. Oh, I'm sorry, were you saying something? No, sorry. Portex, you are PB&J. Oh, okay. Okay. Were you saying something? No, sorry. Portex, you are PB&J. Oh, okay.

Okay. Controversial or not, I am glad that money's being raised for autism research. God knows we need it. Yay! I'm positive. Let's clap for that. Yeah.

Yeah. If the threat ended there, everything would be fine. But it doesn't. John, keep going. I don't know. I think it's like a group that is funding HIV research while also funding homosexual deprogramming research. It's exactly like that.

Also, I make absolutely no fucking sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Autism Speaks is basically like gay cure camps. Well, that's what a bunch of those people that hate Autism Speaks, that is the exact argument they give because they are acting like they liken it to homosexual deprogramming

because they're like, you know, I wouldn't be who I am if I wasn't autistic, so you're trying to kill off people who are like me. You're trying to kill off our race. Boy, that's a dumb argument. On the internet? The person I'm reading compares it to a lot of, you know,

a lot of the homosexual deprogramming camps that also support HIV research. You know, all of those things that exist in real life. Yeah, those are things that are real. Yeah, sure. That's the thing. Okay, Jimmy Franks. Have you watched the video? It's a bunch of mothers complaining about how hard their life is and how awful autism is. It shows nothing positive or hopeful at all.

One mother actually says she would have killed herself and her daughter with autism if she didn't have a normal child who needed her. And now they want money. What is this about? Yeah. Stop crying, you crybabies. Why'd you get a job? Look, stop complaining about things being hard on you because things are hard on me.

Why don't we just kill her and her normal child? Alright, and Stog, finish this up with Ben's mom. Well, I hardly say that a mom who says she contemplated driving off a bridge is saying that the motion of murder being murder being an acceptable response to disability more that the mom probably needs more help and

support geez brooke shield said that in reference to her ppd and no one is saying that she advocates as a standard rite of passage and bringing home a new baby smiley face with stars on the head I'm a new baby. Smiley face with stars on the head. He's dizzy. Yeah, dizzy smiley face. Cartoony. Conked over the nog with a mallet.

Postpartum depression suicide is pretty goofy, guys. You gotta admit. Okay. So, we're gonna move off of this topic and instead move on to a completely different topic on the polio vaccine. Why do you want me to have a stroke tonight, Lemon? Yeah, I know. I told Victor I really

wanted to do this mothering.com episode. He was like, is there going to be a lot of anti-vax shit? Because that's going to piss me off. And I was like, yeah. Fucking hell. Okay. Okay, so just so you know, Victor, you get to be

Mama K. Mama K. But I'm going to start off with Transformed who has no image available, but she has a question. Hey, did the polio vax eradicate the disease? What's the deal with this one? Am I right, guys?

That guy knows what I'm talking about. I don't know what to say to my baby boomer relatives when they tell me this, Jenny. Yeah, so they say something, and I don't know if it's right or not, and I don't know what to do. I will post a topic on a place where dumbasses congregate. Anyway, so Victor, please bring the medical science, the research medical science. The first polio vaccine, the Salk vaccine, or IPV, was a total disaster. The second one, OPV, the Sabin vaccine, was very effective, but infected hundreds of millions of people with a cancer-causing virus called SV40.

Hundreds of millions. Getting all Elmore Leonard all of a sudden. A hundred of millions of people. At the time that polio hysteria was at its peak Yeah, I remember that Like FDR had polio hysteria for some reason It was like Pac-Man fever

These crazy kids down at the Saw Cop are jamming and jiving to the polio twist It's not a very good dance, you just kind of sit there No, you guys remember when all the screaming girls never polio walked off the plane they were just all freaking out polio can't walk asshole that's the point

that's people with polio it's just polio itself anyway at the time that polio hysteria was at it's peak they had no idea that several different viruses can cause paralysis, as well as strange immune system disorders. So polio, the actual polio virus, was never the plague it was made out to be. Guys, it turns out that polio was just a big joke that they played on everybody to sell vaccines. I like how we're going to tell a bunch of baby boomers that...

Do you remember this thing that affected your life for like 15 years? It didn't. You guys, diseases were not a big deal when you were a kid. You thought they were? Why are you punching me? Why aren't you stopping? That hurts. Quit it.

There's a bunch of discussion about like somebody... Well, basically somebody says, well, hey, vaccines actually help. Polio was a real thing and vaccines actually help with it. Vaccines aren't all bad. And somebody else is like, yeah, but there's stuff in vaccines that I don't know about. It's weird. So, yeah. Well, let's see the fear of the unknown.

When you have polio, you know you have polio. When you have a polio vaccine, it could be a fucking grab bag. You have no idea. You know what vaccines come in? Syringes. Like heroin also comes in syringes. You know what vaccines come in? Syringes. Like, heroin also comes in syringes. You know what else was in syringes? Hitler. Just grinding

up Hitler and just shooting him up. Well, it's really just Hitler's placenta. But after all this, like, vaccine discussion, Runes just says, some person named Runes says, should we talk about what else is in vaccines besides aluminum, mercury, and cancer-causing monkey viruses? Can anyone tell me that injecting these toxins into our children's bodies is a good thing to do? No, you do not need a PhD in immunology to figure this one out, folks.

Oh! Bueller. Bueller. Smiley eating popcorn. Um, yeah. Didn't think so. I just love that end bit Most of all Cause it's like

Hey form that agrees with me Is anybody gonna disagree with me Yeah I didn't think so So are there any doctors here No Okay Point proven I heard that iron

Is in hamburgers And that's what makes Hamburgers so hard to eat Okay okay That's totally the end Of the vac stuff stuff, the anti-VAC stuff. I don't believe you. No, I promise. I don't believe you.

I know I've lied about this before. I promise. We are actually done with that. We are going to move on to indigo children and old souls instead. Stupid in a way that, like, doesn't kill children. So, you know, things are looking up. Jimmy Franks, would you like to tell us about your child doesn't kill children. So, you know, things are looking up. Jimmy Franks,

would you like to tell us about your child, who is not named Coheed? No, my name is Textbook Case. And my child is named Cambria. Cambria, my child, is definitely an old soul, has been since birth.

She spoke very early, first words at eight months, full sentences by one. She's excelling in preschool now. Are your gifted children old souls as well? So did you just, was that supposed to be proof of your old soul garbage? Yes, it is definitive proof. My daughter spoke sooner than average Therefore, she's a time traveler My name is Teachma And I've been banned for bumping band thread

Oh, good Mothering don't play that shit There's something that can get kicked out this forum My daughter is My son is absolutely not. He's like, the newest soul around. Both are gifted. I'm cute.

The newest soul around. There's another post. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Poor Tex. Take that one. Nancy926. I'm curious what criteria people would use to decide if a child was an old soul or not. I've heard this term a ton, and I've never really seen a good explanation. Thanks!

Yay! I'm the smart people today. Yay! Oh! Okay. Okay, so you want nice, solid criteria about what makes an old soul. Well, uh, great. Victor can help you out with that. Sure. Victor, take Quaz, please. Well, great. Victor can help you out with that.

Sure. Victor, take Quaz, please. So there was just something about her. She came into our world so calm and at peace, satisfied, just knowing. Lol. Yeah, lol indeed. Okay, so I think much of this really is just gut feel. It's not like there's a formal definition out there of old soul. The reason why the above makes me chuckle is mine, who I consider an old soul, was the

very opposite. Not calm, colicky, high needs, food issues, etc. Oh, so having symptoms of one sort or the opposite of those symptoms also makes you an old soul. That makes, okay, yeah, sure. It's the gut feel. That's, you just know. Okay, cool. My baby with an old soul was just makes... Okay, yeah, sure. It's the gut feel. That's... You just know. Okay, cool.

You know. My baby with an old soul was just one that actually acted like a baby. Sure. Which, actually, if you've been around old people, that's about what it is, really.

His gut feel was different from his feel, or is it the same? Much of here temper meant, though, it seemed that I had this far older person trapped in this little body. And she'd just be so frustrated by that.

She had stuff she needed to do and couldn't yet. That's unique to this child. She's implying she needed to do adult things. So she's just like, God, I've got to be at the law firm by five o'clock, Mom. At 18M, she wanted to make breakfast of her own.

At 18 meters. Yeah, sure. Okay. When she was 18. When she was 18. That's a long baby. At 3, she insists on writing my grocery list and wants to make dinner. She knows exactly what her cake needs to look like.

This is every kid ever. Okay. Like a cake? With her, there just seems to be something more than just gifted. Yeah, my baby is so much different. She wants to act like an adult and do adult things. What baby doesn't? Yeah, my baby saw me do stuff and wanted to do that stuff too.

No child has ever done that ever. All right. Very different than my others who I both believe are gifted. What a weird statistical abnormality you are to have multiple children that are all old souls. They're all gifted in some way. Stog, will you close out this thread by taking all girls You will start by reading the post And you will finish by reading

What is in her profile All girls My third child Was the first that I saw this in She seemed to have an in it wisdom You know how people say People get wise with age She just seemed to have been born with it.

Wisdom is born from experience, so that is literally impossible. No, wisdom is born from placentas. No, you just roll it when you first make your character. That is true. Her magic stat is fucking off the charts. And then if it's high enough, then you can... I re-rolled my baby before I had her, and now I have her just the way I want her.

She still is. She's just so sensible, so wise, she just knows, and she shouldn't know yet. My fourth, not so much. All my children are bright, but my third and fourth are likely gifted.

No, just not born with wisdom. No, just not an old soul, yeah. Don't worry, he's still fucking much more special than everyone else's kids, just not in the same way. He's picking it up really quick, though. He just wasn't born with it. I also love how none of these mothers are projecting onto their babies at all. It's like the babies are just trapped in this body that they can't go out and have a career in, and they're tied down by something that they wanted to do.

And it's just, they say that, you know, they're so wise for their age. It's like people assume they're dumb, but they're really wise for the age that they are. Anyway, I'm sorry. All girls, please. Do you have anything you want to say about yourself? I have no boys, but I will soon. Prepping for my backwards bum tattoo. Man chasing barracuda.

She's book smart, but unwise. So you're a person who makes good life decisions. Well, she takes a homeless guy. What is a backwards bum tattoo anyway? What part is backwards? I thought it was a tramp. Yeah. A backwards bum.

It's a tattoo on her ass of a bum's ass. That's my favorite 1940s cartoon. Well, you know, that's why it's a bum's ass. It's the tattoo that I sit on. It's a bum that gives you wine and money. Okay, so

unschooling is a concept that is very popular on mothering.com. Let me guess. It's going to make us all really angry. Yeah. In fact, Portax, you'll be telling us about it. So my name is Resigned. And I just want to know, could someone briefly explain unschooling?

Thanks. And Portax, you are dar. I'm dar. And I am a huge cunt Wow, way to pre-judge Wait, I don't see that on the post It's in the post, it's the essence of the post Oh, I see

I thought maybe that was a title after you got 2,000 posts Nope, I'm a huge cunt because for me, unschooling isn't about finding ways to teach my child at all. Good, yeah. But about not teaching unless she specifically asks. This is a great fucking idea. About not having an agenda for her learning and allowing her to keep her freedom and autonomy in this area.

her to keep her freedom and autonomy in this area. I'm a bit leery of the idea that unschooling is for young children and then formal schooling starts later. Unschooling is a mindset, and if you're unschooling while looking for opportunities to teach traditional academic skills, and with the idea that it's sort of a warm-up for real schooling, I don't think you can create the same experience as someone who is committed to unschooling as a lifestyle. Right. It's life. It's training. It's sort of like life training for a career in sitting in your

basement playing N64 all day. Yeah, so just to recap, the kid gets to learn about whatever the fuck they want. On their time. On their own time. And only learns about things that they want to learn about. Right, so... Yeah, we can't regulate their education.

What's with the free motion? So when you're in the future, when your kid is complaining that their anime that they're writing isn't getting picked up because everyone else is too stupid. Right. This is where we can bring it back to this. Your mom was dumb. No, like, well, even if you don't do unschooling, even if you do traditional schooling, you can still adapt these principles. So if your child says to you, Mom, I don't feel like going to school today,

you go, well, then you won't. Yeah, because that's what real life is. All right, keep going. I've got an A in chicken nuggets and a B in not picking up the music. Okay, so just so we all know, I'm a huge cunt. My kid is named Rain. Yeah, sure. Rain plays a lot.

She also has some pretty intensely scheduled learning experiences, mostly for stuff related to theater, which is her passion. Sure. Oh, my God. Rain. So my daughter is a porn star. Rain, no. Rain, no.

It's worse than that. Rain is liberal arts from birth. There's nothing we can do. I mean, she's not going to be able to do anything But be a porn star her name is Rain She's passionate about theater And she doesn't know fucking anything No no no Victor we're saying the exact same thing

We're not saying something I'm sure she knows plenty No she loves Shakespeare And last week I misattributed A Shakespearean quote and she was right on it. I didn't look it up or anything to see if that was true but whatever. She reads a lot.

She talks to a lot of cool people. She's going to master in talking to cool people when she graduates unschooling university. She knows lots of people with leather jackets. I have a bachelor's in smoking cigarettes in the alley. I'm looking to get my PhD in clothes.

Now, guys, guys, now listen. This is her best subject, okay? Right. She watches a lot of cool stuff on TV. Oh, boy. Good parenting, yep. So she's Rizzo from Grease is what you're telling me. She's 10.

Her skills in some areas are well above most kids her age. In others, they're below. I'm guessing most others. Almost all others. All others, others. But she's still gifted. She's still gifted. No, no, no.

Look, look, look. Okay, so there's many subjects, right? And in some, she's great. Like, for example, in watching TV or talking to cool people or theater, she's great. In other subjects such as, you know, other things, she's not good. But that's only one subject. So, you know, it all balances out. There's really, there's only two subjects as far as my unschooling program is.

One of them is quoting Hannah Montana. Right. And then other. Sure. See that? And then sometimes lunch whenever she feels like it, you know, whatever. If you want to know the specific plot lines to NCIS through an entire season, she's majoring in Wikipedia editing.

All right, keep going. She has the skills she needs to live the life she wants to live right now. Good. That actually, I don't agree with. That's true. That's the only thing in this thing that's been spot on. She's carved out a niche for herself. Yeah.

And I have no doubt that she'll continue to develop the skills she needs as her life changes. Just assuming things will turn out okay is just cool. Sorry if this is disjointed. No coffee yet. Barbara and Shannon Cece had some good ideas for resources as well. Dar! Oi.

This is Dar, and just a reminder, I am a huge cunt. Alright, well, Resigned is back. Thanks for the responses. Perhaps I might clarify the question a bit more. That is, how and what do children learn in the process of unschooling?

Specifically, what kinds of activities, such as cooking or shopping or reading Shakespeare, as already mentioned, do you do during the day? Does a parent put a child on a path to certain activities, like theater? How does a child become aware of subjects like, you know, Roman history

or whatever in the course of their learning? You use books! And Jimmy Franks, Shannon CC, responds to that. Put them on a path? I'm not sure what you mean. I have no fucking That sounds like schooling to me get out to answer your other questions so I offer

her tons of stuff I have no problem saying hey do you want to see this cool website on bubble you want me to read you this book on spiders you want play a game she says no I say okay. She also sees things I do. I'm currently teaching myself piano. She comes up and watches me practice. Good. She pretends to play herself.

Oh, well then. So she's going to become a music major in air piano. She's going to get fucking wild stallions and shit. Look, look. If you win the air guitar championship in like Oslo or whatever it is, you get a real guitar and like a hundred bucks. You're pretty. You're set.

When she decides to move up to Guitar Hero, we can talk. She looks at my sheet music and asks me to play it. She can pick out all the C notes on the piano. She's being exposed. I'm skipping all this. There's like a smiley face every sentence. Right. It's just the period. Substitute. She's being exposed to piano just from the there's like a smiley face every sentence right it's just the period substitute

she's being exposed to piano just from watching me hammer my way through it and she tells me my playing is beautiful she's a fucking child she doesn't know she knows how to play

her mom though so basically the way to unschool is to be a shitty parent and ignore your child yeah pretty much oh you want to do something no okay whatever

I think IMO the key is being willing Yeah, pretty much. You want to do something? No? Okay, whatever. I think IMO, the key is being willing to follow up on their interests and to let them follow up on them instead of trying to let them get them to do something that you think is more important. Right, right. I think you should brush your teeth. Well, they're kind of falling out. No, that's cool. That's cool. That's cool. I'm sorry.

I don't want to. Bryson doesn't like the taste of toothpaste. Hey, do you want to see this cool website on cavities? No? Okay. Also, it's important to let the child learn in the way they want to. For example, an unschooling friend of mine uses a curriculum. Oh, my God! Yeah!

Did you burn her? For the listener, the smiley has changed to a boingy smiley face. The reason being, her DD asked her for one. So your daughter literally came up to you and said, can we have a fucking curriculum? Can I please go to school? Even the kid now is like, alright, this shit ain't working. Can you actually teach me shit

mommy I'm dumb yeah I mean jelly beans and Nintendo was cool for a couple years but Jesus Christ lady I need a 401k I need a plan for the future you stupid bitch my friend leaves it up to her seven year old when or if they

follow it and if she ever decides she's done my friend will be happy to pack it up if she had told her no we're unschoolers you can't have a curriculum that wouldn't be unschooling him imo yeah as long as you're weak-willed that's all that matters it's fine so dar describes a typical day for rain. It's probably not funny for the podcast, but it's absolutely fucking amazing. No, I did like it. Yeah, yeah. Vortex, blaze through it if you would. All right.

By the way, this might be dumb, but what's that name? All I can picture is like the Korean pop star putting this out. That's the image that goes in my head. Okay, so I'm Dar. We're going to lay out Rain's day for you Good, okay Are you still a huge cunt though? Maybe, we'll find out

Yeah, let the post be self-evident We'll decide at the end I'll step back I sometimes tell people that unschooling is like having Every day be a weekend We don't do anything differently because we're unschooling We just do more of it. If that makes sense.

It doesn't. I've noticed that any free time in our days quickly gets filled with things we want to do. Rain started theater a couple years ago because I was reading the Parks and Rec brochure and occasionally asking her about various classes. And when I hit on Theater Workshop

and read the description, she gave an enthusiastic Yes! Yes! Hell yeah, mama! Let's get some theater, brah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! She was cast as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and had

a great time, so we started looking for more opportunities. Yeah, she just walked in the door and they said, that's our Dorothy. It's that girl! And on the way, she did some voice and dance lessons, created a resume, and performed a number of community theater shows.

So she was, like, in rent and shit. What resume can a ten-year-old have? It's a blank piece of paper. When she was four-ish, she was obsessed with Greek mythology. Oh, really? Like, Laida and the Swan? So I got her some audio tapes of Greek myths,

and she really loved the Jim Weiss ones, so I got her more Jim Weiss tapes, and she liked some of those, and one of her favorites was a retelling of a Shakespearean play. Hey, bitch, why didn't you buy her a motherfucking book? She doesn't want to read. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. Fucker.

Things snowballed. I looked for places doing Shakespeare live and dug out my complete works of Shakespeare, and she now knows more about it than I do. Sure, because she read one page. Again, I can believe that. There are these little sentences here that I can believe here and there.

And the fact that her, what her four-year-old son, her four-year-old daughter knows more than she does, I can believe that. No, Rain read up on how, you know, Hera had Hercules murder his own wife, and she loved it.

It all works like that. I don't try to put her on any path particularly, but I do try to lead an interesting life and invite her along for the ride. Basic skills like reading and writing are generally very useful in our society, and therefore unschooled kids eventually pick them up when they're ready and interested or find a need for them. Oh, for fuck. But not my daughter. Oh, fuck. But not my daughter.

This is amazing. Priceland and played with that for a while, including writing itty-bitty letters for the mail truck, and made pizza for her dinner, watched The Simpsons, read some pure dead magic, worked on one of her workshop pieces, went to the neighbors and watched the end of Clue the movie, played Apples to Apples for an hour, came home, checked her

email, emailed her friend who was in England for the summer, watched Third Rock, read for a little longer, and went to sleep. Good. I'm Dar, and I'm a cunt so huge, no light or hope can escape it. Wow, that's interesting. Mothering.com, a golden treasury of bad parents and their shitty advice. I like how it worked on one of her workshop pieces. Like, I wrote a play where I'm a princess and the whole world revolves around me.

All right, what you know, sweetie? Hey, look, Mom. It's a play where the mother does nothing to edify or help her daughter out to learn how to live her life when she's older. Oh, goddammit, mom, I'm trying to tell you something. You know so much more. Oh, look, I wrote it. I stapled a bunch of printer paper together and made it into a book.

A book that I can read. Give me books! I don't even know what that word is, sweetie. Oh, goddammit, mom, why'd you name me after... Shut up and go play with your sister, Snow and Sleep. And the mail delivers to all of my children. So anyway, we're going to move away from that one instead

and into sort of about... about how unschooling can help and how you're going to learn math. Because this is actually a question you might have been asking yourself, is if you're homeschooled, how do you learn math? One neglected parent, two neglected parents. So we're going to find out. Yeah, okay.

John, John, you're going to do Ike's mom. Okay. Well, the name of this thread is Math Ciriculum. So a cloud of math. Yes, yes, a collection of clouds of math. Hi, I'm Ike's mom. Deez is eight and has a really hard time with math this year. He's still counting on his fingers that needs manipulatives to add or subtract.

Never mind, I'm going to keep moving. If I tell him, quotation mark, six minus two equals question mark, parentheses, he still has to count. One, two, three, four, five, six. And then he count one, two as he puts those fingers down. Then he has to count again. One, two, three, four

to figure it all out. He can't picture the number of the amount in his head. That's okay. He's still special in an old soul, so don't worry about it. If only there was like some sort of information

of this written on like paper and like easy to access. If only there was a place you could go where somebody would teach it to you. I don't know, like an expert maybe on math, you think? I know that many homeschoolers use Saxon and Singapore math or just use what is in their complete curriculum. That's different from the cirriculum that I talked about earlier. Curriculum. That's different from the cirriculum that I talked about earlier. I met

someone last month with a DS who has similar learning issues like my DS and asked her what materials she likes are recommended. She suggested Bob Jones. I checked out AudiBlocks and BrainSkills, which are programs specific for learning disabilities, but found them expensive and

boring. Why can't math be more exciting? That's my problem. Anyone have any suggestions? My eyes are tired of internet surfing. Hey, web forum! I'm tired of being on the internet. My kid has difficulty paying attention. Me, I don't know where he gets it from.

I've been posting for one minute and I'm already distracted by something else. All right. So, Victor, you are TankGirl173, and you know how to incorporate math into a homeschooling curriculum? Personally, I wouldn't worry about it too much. One thing I learned with my DS, my Nintendo DS, I'm sure, I think I pushed the map.

So they infuriatingly will never say my husband, my son, my daughter, my second daughter. It's like DS is dear son and then there's dear husband and dear daughter.

So is it one for like fucking asshole son? Like we're the one that they hate or anything? Oh, you mean an FAS. No, that means something else. One thing I learned with my DS, I think I pushed the math with him too much and he rebelled. He would seem to understand something, then totally backslide,

just not going the way I wanted it to. Push the math. Okay, plus one, plus two, plus three. Fuck this, mom. Turns Push the math. Okay, plus one, plus two, plus three. Fuck this, Mom! Turns over the table. So we took a break from math completely when he was eight. Good! You're a good parent.

At the end of each year, we do a standardized test. Part of a deal with his dad, my ex, so that he won't complain about my homeschooling. We don't mind. That's all it takes for your ex. Siding with the father, cause you're stupid.

I'm not siding with the father, cause he's like, he's like, well, as long as he takes the test at the end of the year, I don't give a shit. In all honesty, it could be very possible that the court just decided that the mom should just have the kid just cause she's the mom, and then the dad

might have been like, well, I have no say in this. Take a test, I guess. Maybe. Well, also, the standardized testing comes from the fact that the father is George W. Bush. Oh, okay. Alright, keep going. The end of that year, he had improved more

in math than any other year up to then. Okay, so let's take a quick break. Because you stopped teaching your child math. Yep. And as a result, your child got better at math.

Well, it says he improved more in math than he did before. So if he got, like, only one question right previously, if he got two right this year, then he's doubled the amount of right answers. Children just know, like, arithmetic instinctually. It's kind of just, like, it's an instinct that you're kind of born with. Oh, Christ.

Like, oh, yeah, 6 plus 6 equals 12. I know that in my soul. No, that's not it. That's not it. It's that when you start at zero, everything's an improvement. That is true. See, you'd be able to know about all the statistics if you fucking studied math. You dumb cow.

All right, keep going. Yep. Having done no math at all, he had improved more than he was supposed to with a full year of math. See exactly what I said. Yeah. He scored well above grade level. We call them Texas standards. Yay for lowered standards!

In other words, what I have learned is that most math development in the primary years happens outside of math lessons. Even in spite of math lessons. Then why do math teachers exist?

Like, why is it that math teachers exist and like teaching kids proper Happy Meal etiquette teachers don't exist? And like, teaching kids proper Happy Meal etiquette teachers don't exist. Portax, if you are, take transformed, please. So, my name is Transformed. The title of my thread is Christians-Evolution.

Christians minus evolution. That was the shitty four kids cartoon, wasn't it? I hated that one. The old one was a lot better. When it was just Christians, it was really good. Christians evolution. That was the shitty four kids cartoon, wasn't it? I hated that one. The old one was a lot better. When it was just Christians, it was really good. Christians evolution. Christians, what do you teach your kids about how the world began? I am confused because according to creation science, the earth is young. But this is the theory I think is more lickly.

But then there is the far more... I'm going to lick this theory. But then there's this far more popular theory that the Earth is millions and millions of years old. Where did that theory come from? I've heard. I don't know. If this person didn't have 8,000 posts, I would think it was a troll. Well, there's like these big lizards in the ground

I heard. I don't know, but anyway, what do you teach? I'm going to have to face this at some point. Should have thought of this before I fucking had a kid, but here we are. I honestly don't okay, no joke, I honestly don't get this. It's like, isn't that the whole point of

homeschooling? That you don't have to worry about state standards for this shit? You can just say, yeah, six days, that's it. Not exactly. You actually have, I mean, there are agencies set up that are supposed to monitor this kind of shit. To minimize a certain amount of terrible parenting. But, you know, it's not necessarily the way that it happens but it's supposed to happen this is reminding me of how my geometry teacher

in high school for almost every single month of the whole year I was there she was talking about dinosaur bones and how God may have put dinosaur bones on the opposite end of the world and humans grew on our side of the world

and this was a geometry class on the opposite end of the world. And humans grew on our side of the world. And this was a geometry class. Alright, Stog, you are Likia. Likia. Hi, my name's Likia, and I'm a raving lunatic. We teach creation as how it happened, and evolution as a theory. As for dinosaur books and such, we just

remind them that not everything you read in a book is true and scientists don't agree. Even the ones who agree dinos are very old, they don't seem to agree on how old. It is a good lesson and you can't believe everything you read. No, it's a good lesson and all scientists do agree and your mother's a fucking idiot and

doesn't understand the goddamn facts. Carbon dating. Carbon dating. Carbon dating. Well, if science is so great, why isn't it complete? Okay, Jimmy Franks, take it, please. For now, I teach that God created the world six days a long time ago. No millions and billions of years, but I don't know where you're getting the 5,000-year figure from.

There are no dates mentioned as far as I know. When we watch National Geographic specials and the like, if they mention millions of years ago or cavemen, I point out that some people believe in that, but that we know that that's not true because the Bible tells us it's not. They are young. You better just cover up their ears and go, la la la la la la.

They are young and have not questioned past that. Yay! I do have books and other resources available for them when they're older. They give more of these scientific facts that support creationism. But for now, we haven't delved too deeply into it. My name is Lily Grace.

I choose not to limit God or his methods. We treat evolution as a scientific theory and discuss what that means as opposed to a literary theory. So we talk about how that means that it's stood up to rigorous testing and makes predictions that have been verified by further experiments. No, it's about how scientists are dumb. That's what I said in the parenthetical,

so I'm sure the rest that I read will support that. And then the fact that nobody really knows. We do our best from the evidence as presented and keep searching for more understanding. Like scientists? We also look at comparable stories from other religions, like Pandora's Box, that show strong similarities between them and the biblical stories

and discuss how, with an oral history, it's possible to have stories that end up intertwining or changing based on a person's belief, like a rather elaborate game of telephone. Dot. I'm honestly sort of supportive of the description of the Bible as an elaborate game of telephone. Sure, yeah. Honestly, legitimately. Yeah. One person on here says, I don't know why she said dot at the end

when she already put a period. That's what confuses me. One of these posts says, I am a Christian and I disagree that the Bible says the Earth is 5,000 years old. There! Two Christians disagreed. There.

Called it. They're just like scientists. Christians are just like scientists. Christians are just like scientists. And there we go! Around about an hour of the best parents in the world. Jimmy Franks, what did you learn this week? I learned not to have

kids because you might meet a woman who gets parenting advice from mothering.com effectively dooming your child to a lifetime of unemployment and confusion and yeah it's terrifying. Yeah this is

where World of Warcraft players come from. I think your child has a better chance of just taking him out to the wilderness, letting him get raised by wolves, versus some of the advice you might get from mothering.com.

And the wolves might look at some of this shit with the placenta and go, that's disgusting. I mean, there's so much anxiety in parenting that's both internal and external. You're constantly worrying about killing your child, and then you're worried about your child just wanting to kill itself, and then, oh, am I doing the right job raising this thing? And there's so much worry and anxiety,

which is perfectly, you know, it's part of the deal. But when you say, you know, a 10-year-old child should be able to make their own lifelong decisions, then you've made a bad decision, and you fucked up, and I'm hoping that you'll realize that you fucked up, and you've made a bad decision and you fucked up and I'm hoping that you'll realize that you fucked up and you'll walk it back. It's not an easy job, but it's definitely not for everyone.

It's not an easy job, but there's clear signals, you know, like there's clear signals. If your child's six years old and your child's six years old and wants to breastfeed, you fucked up and just to breastfeed. You fucked up. And just walk it back. It's not you fucked up, give up. It's you fucked up, let's take steps to resolve this. If you think eating medical waste is a good idea, maybe you're not ready to be a parent. And it's the society that we live in. And the website is always THEFPL.US.

We're building our own society of silly comments and weird cartoons. And you, too, can participate. Leave a comment. Tell us what you think. All right, you have a good night. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.