The F Plus - 93: I Can't Put Up With You People Because You're Bastard People

Episode Date: February 2, 2013

The last dozen years of internet development has brought avenues of conversation we wouldn't have thought possible in the previous dozen. And yet, through all of this, is there any place at all where ill-informed idiots can gather together and spew pointless hate about random subjects? The answer of course is yes, there is all sorts of places where that exact thing happens. And yet, it wasn't until JustRage.com that anyone actually thought that would be a valid thing for a website to specialize in. This week, you get drunk, you skip school, just have sex already.

I'd just like to point out, even before we start, just to get this out there, many of the members of JustRage have become so angry with JustRage that they split off and formed JustRage2. They're so angry they couldn't even give it a good name. Now with more anger. Hey there, this is the F Plus Podcast. Terrible things riddled with enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. And I'm John.

Oh, John, you seem testy. I am testy. It's just, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be like this when we're starting the intro, but I just really shouldn't. I just can't get over it. Okay, okay. We got a couple minutes. What's...

Okay, what's wrong? Come on. Let's work it out. They just... It's fine. Just... I need to talk about it. Tails, miles per hour from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, never had his own major video game

release, and it just pisses me off. Like, I think maybe he had some Game Gear shit or something. It was just some knockoff thing that they just put him on. But he's never... He was in the second game. He's the best sidekick of any game series ever. He's just... He's adorable. He's got two tails. He should have his own game on an Xbox 360 sometime.

So this actually upsets you on a real level? Yes! Can you not hear how annoyed I am? Is that really the issue, or is there something else that you're not dealing with? Look, he actually looks like a fox. Nobody else in Sonic actually looks like the animal they are,

but he actually looks like a fox. Good character design. He's got a past where he's like, I've got to prove myself and... Okay, okay, so I think what's going on. I think I understand what's going on here so so you are let's say emotionally different and uh and you need a place to to express your anger about things that you feel matter to you i've tried. I've tried yelling on the street corner. I've tried just posting

YouTube videos where I just scream into my shitty laptop camera for an hour. It got like 30 views. Yay. Look, I've tried everything. The only thing I haven't tried is going onto a forum with people who are, like me, really angry about

stuff that doesn't matter, and it's pretty stupid to be angry about, and they have a forum where they can just say what they're angry about in short paragraphs that are really badly written. I think if I wrote there and somebody else from that site read it, I think that's the only thing that would make me happy. Okay, this might sound like the most unbelievable

sentence you've ever heard in your life. Okay. But there's a place on the internet where angry idiots get together and yell about things. Thank God, finally! I know that that's fucking just unbelievable. It is! Beyond the pale. But it exists!

It's called JustRage.com and hopefully you can look at the rage expressed by other like-minded persons. That's a load off, because I think I was about to get into double-digit ulcers there, and I don't think... I think my stomach actually...

It's eaten itself once. I think the second time they won't pay for the surgery. So thank God there's a place for me. Well, this will be a healing experience. Readers, assemble! Oh, thank God. In the room tonight, we have AC Rockawaddle. How do I love thee?

Just like a plantar wart, you are growing on me. Ew. Sean! Sitting behind your MacBook sipping your ass. Jimmy Franks. I earnestly beseech you all to smell my ass. Boots rain gear. Fuck Mew Rance, man.

Portax? God, why doesn't the F Plus read more angry shit? Oh god, now they already boot train gear. Fuck Mew Rance, man. Portax? God, why doesn't the F-Plus read more angry shit? Oh god, now they are reading angry shit! Arrrr! And Lemon. To have ten cocks in me would be such a lovely thing. To be penetrated

this thorns of flesh would make my heart sing. Aww. Wild thing! my heart sing. Aw. The wild thing. Yes. Ow! Guys. Guys. Yes. What is it,

GothRage666? Hi! You know what I'm really annoyed with and mad at and raging at? No, but I really want to know. Stupid fucking parents. Sure. Shit. I raged this four weeks ago.

Sorry, I haven't been on JustRage for ages, but my parents said if they catch me on any hate sites, like as in looking at things, if I look at anything with hate or bad stuff, they're going to block my phone and they haven't let me on this site. Thank hell they don't know what the site's called and they took away my phone for a few days. I managed to get it back and because of them, I've been staring at walls depressed without my phone. I like that they think that hate sites are places where people can be mad at things. Yeah. Also, I love the notion of, God, I literally

cannot do anything without my phone. Yeah, no, it's just, it's this or the wall. I have no, yeah, there's no other recourse. Well, you know what I'm gonna do? What's that? I'm going to twist the phys-cologists and doctor's minds and make them think I've stopped thinking about murder. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha. Because you're actually thinking about murder to begin with.

You're not just some stupid fucking teenager. Murder's like a Mortal Kombat fatality, right? That's what I assume. Boots, you are anonymous at the bottom there in the comments. Wait a minute. Who do you want to murder? Your parents? Is this in response to your interest in frequent hate sites and you should stay off?

Are you throwaway baby? Are you? Answer him! Fuck you, I ain't a throwaway baby. Any chance of that? You know, parents who have kids because everyone else is doing it, tax right off kid. I'm not joking.

The Uncle Sam... Sorry. I'm not joking. The Uncle Sam rewards families with kids. I don't think... Wait! Congratulations, family! Here's a child! Uncle Sam away! I just... I don't think this anonymous. Congratulations, family. Here's a child. Uncle Sam away. I just...

I don't think this anonymous gets how to insult people. Oh, yeah, well, you know what? You're a tax write-off. Huh? I don't know how to take that. Burn! Problem is, many families have no clue about parenting. In your case, I think you know what your parents are doing,

and you just want to be on your own. You'll have to wait until you're just want to be on your own. You'll have to wait until you're turned 18 to be on your own. Sure. Yeah. I take that. Then you get the kids who manipulate their parents with bending over

backwards and kissing up acts. I am pretty flexible. They learn to get whatever they want. Sounds like you didn't know that route. Fuck you, I can be spoiled if I want to. You stupid asshole, you're not enough of a brown noser, idiot. Yeah, stupid asshole, you haven't learned social skills. Oh, if I had my phone, I'd send you such a text.

Gothridge, I have a quick question for you. Who is it that liked your page is there anyone that rated your page well a couple people agreed with me about this okay who's that shit uh there's goth rages bitch 666 yeah he's usually pretty hard to please there's also there's also head on i kind of took the liberty of poking through some of this when it was a document. And yeah, GothRageIsBitch666 is just very blatantly a sock puppet. What? I don't know.

What do you mean? What? GothRage666 gets into arguments and will say things like, You've got tiny balls! And then logs in as GothRageIsBitch666 and goes, Yeah, really tiny balls! Why would you bother having that name if you were gonna do that that doesn't make any sense what are you talking about

I'm a totally different person I'm goth rage 666 has a very supportive wife yes honey yes goth rage 666 you're right uh vortex am I right in thinking that you have some sort of problem with your graphics card? Yes!

I'm sorry. Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Oh, no. Fuck those graphic cards. Fuck them. I'm anonymous. Graphics card!

Yeah? Stupid graphics card can't play a fucking YouTube video on full screen on 360p fucking hell i'm trying to watch a movie and it just fucking dies just work for fuck's sake i pay for you now just do what the fuck you were supposed to do in the first place work fucking stupid cunt i like that i like that this guy was like oh fuck i don't know i could reinstall this driver, or I could just go to JustRage. That's usually part of it. So angry!

Oh, and it's just evolved into NerdRage. Ah, use Windows 98. Ah, use Linux. Oh, AMD. These people are trying to help them. Some of them are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a weird place to help them. Some of them are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a weird place to look for tech support.

Jesus. Okay. Jimmy Franks, I think you need some advice about a fish. Ooh, somebody's been reading my diary. Uh-oh. All right. My name's Aranaria. That's a weird name, but okay.

I read this two months name, but okay. What icon do you have for this post? Or maybe that's your avatar. I think it's Poop. Yep. Ding, ding, ding. Poop. You won.

Spot the Poop. So this website has a bunch of different doc types where you can have middle finger and angry face, and one of them is just a hunk of poop carp need some advice okay just now i'm jamming to the stereo and dusting that can of furniture polish in one hand and a dust cloth in the other i'm just tooling around spraying and dusting and dancing. And had a total brain fart. That's not raging. Where does the carp come in? Well, she's asking advice from carp, I think. Oh, okay. I sprayed the huge flat panel TV and started dusting it.

It was indeed dusty. And I wasn't thinking. Did not realize what I was doing until I started noticing how the streaks were getting worse and not better furniture polish is wax and oil paste i tried windex but the screen still looks like shit cloudy and stuff any suggestions i cannot believe i just did this crap crap crap rage so there's there's a whole bunch of comments where people are actually trying to help her with her problem. And by the way,

I just wanted to mention that All of You Are Fags takes place in this. This is something to say in this conversation. But then anyway, so it goes down for a little while and then Ariana, it's a one from two months ago. It's about halfway down the page.

Starts with smell-o-vision. Smell-o-vision. That's so hard. I farted. Scared the cat. Now, wait. It was a lady fart. Promise.

Ain't no pain peeling. No shattered glass. Promise. Okay. And John, your response to that? Oh my god. OMG, you fucking farted. Try keeping it to yourself, you disgusting pig. No shame whatsoever.

And then, and then it's a long debate over whether or not women fart. The last anonymous, the very bottom anonymous comment. Smell my ass? Yeah. That won't help the TV. The best I know. Well, no, see, at this point, I think earlier in the conversation, they actually solved the TV thing.

So now this is just the kind of conversation you have once we're done with the problem. Oh, okay. All right, it's all cool now. Let's talk about farts. the conversation they actually solved the TV thing. So now this is just the kind of conversation you have once we're done with the problem. Alright, it's all cool now. Let's talk about farts. Okay. Well, I wanted to tell you guys, my name is Anonymous here, and I hate virgins. Oh, God.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fucking virgins. Asexual shamer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fucking virgins. Wait. Asexual shamer. Fucking virgins. All right, so I read this two months ago. I absolutely hate most virgins because they all think they are pure and everything. They act like it's something to be proud of when it should be something to be ashamed of. If you're over the age of 18, i have a friend who is 21 she's been with her boyfriend for a month and

they haven't had sex yet oh my god oh no hey i'm 21 as well and i lost my virginity when i was 14 to my boyfriend of a few weeks we wanted to get it over and done with. As soon as I start dating a guy, I'll have sex with him right away. It's just sex. It's nothing special. Yet, she said she wants to make sure he is the right one. I told her, you're 21. You aren't going to meet Mr. Right. She said it's a trust thing, and she doesn't expect to marry him,

but she wants to trust the guy she gives her virginity to. What a bitch. That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Just have sex already. Yeah, you should never trust I have ever heard. Just have sex already. That's the person you fuck. I know another girl. She says she is pure. You are not pure.

You get drunk every weekend. You do drugs. You skip school a lot in high school. You stole money from your parents. You are pure. Have sex. And she is 22. A 22-year-old virgin.

God, virgins are so fucking pathetic. I think anyone over the age of 18 is a loser if they're still a virgin. I wonder why her friend at first didn't listen to her. You should just have sex. I know what I'm talking about. I had sex at 14 after a few weeks knowing a guy. Oh, yeah, okay.

Unrelated. I had sex at 14. Also, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Unrelated. I had 614. Also, I'm crazy. Yeah, that too. Those responses are good. I want to be anonymous. I want to be anonymous. There's so many anonymous.

Yeah, that's really fucking floppy, you bitchy bitch. You're complaining about something that doesn't even matter. You're a weak-minded person because you let something as pointless as that compel you to write a stupid fucking post. Fuck you! I'm Alan fucking Bishopman, you piece of shit! Oh, shit, I had no idea. Anonymous was Alan fucking Bishopman.

Did he transform into a Power Ranger at the end of that? He just went super saiyan. I'm Alan Bishopman! Portex the next Anonymous down, please. Hey, whoever wrote this is a stupid bitch! This is all stupid! I hate my hair!

You know? Just, god god you guys uh uh aether take the one that starts uh i think there must be a few yeah i was looking at that yeah yeah i think there must be a few virginas on this site i don't know the girl who's 26 she'll be 27 in december and she is still a virgin How? How could you still be a virgin at that age? And she said She isn't waiting for marriage

She says she doesn't have the time Because of her job And before that because of school I'm sure you could spare a few nights to have Sex I told her But she wants a relationship Why? I told her just But she wants a relationship. Why?

I told her just go out and have a one-night stand. I even made a Craigslist advertisement for her for just giving away her virginity for a price. No, wait. Back that up. No, we talked over that. Actually, I didn't. I lied. Sorry.

Okay. But I want to. Don't get me wrong. I want to. It would be funny. No, it wouldn't. She's not ugly. None of these virgins I know are ugly. So I can't work it out.

How are they virgins? I just like the idea that she doesn't have time. Like that's a sushi game. Yeah, there's like, with me, I got something I gotta do. Just opening up her day planner. I got night school, I'm working then. No, no opening for sex. I'm totally booked.

I'm totally booked. No opening for sex. I'm totally booked. Alright, Boots. I understand you're having a problem with your beard. Is that right? I have a problem with my beard. Why would I be happy? Why would this one come to me? You're angry at your beard. Yeah, I'm so mad.

I can't grow a beard. I'm sorry. I can't grow a beard. I'm going to see if I'm clipping. I can't grow a beard. I'm sorry. I can't grow a beard. I'm going to see if I'm clipping. I can't grow a beard. Okay. All right. Okay.

I can't grow a beard. Because if I do, I won't be able to get a job. Also, people will judge you because you have a beard. They'll probably call you a beard-o, but... People are so brainwashed. What? My beard. God didn't give you a beard to shave it off.

I think it's gay to shave. It is feminine to shave. As a human being, I should be able to do what a human being is supposed to be. It's also bad for your skin to shave. Dries out your skin and makes you sting. Like WCW era sting?

I think it makes you sting, so you get like a you know, an ovipositor on your ass or something. Well, it is pretty rough. It is pretty rough after I shave and I just walk around the house going, EO! EO! I hate society and I hope every brainwashed idiot dies

a slow, very painful death. I feel like you've moved on from the topic of beards. I also want to say, as the resident theologian on this podcast, the whole God didn't give you a beard to shave it off. It's like, God's pretty cool with you chopping off other parts of your body that are way more crucial. So that doesn't really stand out.

I'm just going to say that right now. I believe, I think it was Jesus who suggested that if the beard causes you to sin, you should chop it off. That was the only part of the Bible brought to you by Gillette. It was weird. That was the only part of the Bible brought to you by Gillette. It was weird. I like that this guy lives in some sort of country where there's some sort of bizarro Sharia law where you can't get a job if you have a beard. You know, again, there's an easy solution to this problem.

I mean, there are people who have beards and don't have jobs and get judged by people. They do it for free. It's not that hard. All right. Portex. Yes. You that hard. All right. Portex. Yes? You're going to do something? You want to tell us about your plans?

I am. Don't be angry. I am angry. Okay. I'm going to stab the internet in the face. Well, you'll have to find it first. Fucking internet. So where's the face of the internet?

Uh, it's a guy Fox asked. Firepocker. Yeah. Two years ago, I said this. They need to fucking wipe out the internet and start all over again, especially YouTube. to fucking wipe out the internet and start all over again, especially YouTube. Every time I try to find something

or the answer to something on the internet, I find shit! You're trying to answer your questions with YouTube, so I think that might be a good job you have. I hate how someone will post a simple question on Ask.com or whatever and there will be five million different answers, and I have to use my

intuition to decipher which answer is correct! Oh no! The internet hasn't replaced cognitive thinking yet! Damn it! I tried to find the name of a song on the internet, and I click on something

and it'll show me a picture of some dude's dick or something. Well, yeah. Okay, you know what? I'm on board. I used to hate the internet, but now I'm kind of intrigued. Can I have his? Well, stop searching on somedudesdickorsomething.com.

No! There might be an internet there to punch. When I type something in on a search engine, it should show me what I'm looking for right away. It shouldn't have to search high and low for the answer to a simple fucking question. I look for a music video on YouTube and it'll show me some faggot talking about music video and I'm all like, I don't care what you think, faggot! Fucking die!

You're a bad searcher. Mm-hmm. I hate different websites that lure you in, saying downloading files is free, and then when you are ready to download, they ask you for money. Fucking streaming videos! Oh yeah, sure, you can watch

Ninja Turtles 2, Secret of the Ooze. Just waste your time doing some fucking gay survey about something you don't care about and then wait five years for the page to load and then we'll fuck you over by telling you this isn't available in your country. Fuck! I don't know what malware is

apparently. This is what this is about. This is about this person really wants to hear Vanilla Ice's turtle rap. Go, Ninja! Go, Ninja! Go! Go! And YouTube, oh, fuck! If I see this YouTube guy, I'm going to stare at him repeatedly and stare into his eyes as he breathes his last breath.

As he dies his last die, go fuck yourself, Internet. Urgent. Brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr. The famous website invented by Bill YouTube. Yeah. Thank you, YouTube. This is the FBI. We have a credible threat against your life.

Well, thank you. And how are you today? Thank you for that, Grover with Lockjaw. No, I want to hear an argument between that voice and Kumquat Sub's Grover voice. Oh, that'd be good, yeah. No, I hate Kumquat and Grovers! Acer, you have a response to that post, is that right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, he just wanted to say something back to this guy. Yo, who the fuck are you, shitwad? Look here, daddy-o. I'm gonna make this shit crystal clear for your punk ass. I'm stronger than you, I'm faster than you, and I'm more agile than you. I'll punch your mom in the face. And puke all over her fucking tits before you even know what the fuck's going on. You tell your punk-ass

friend, the internet, that Dickie Juice 139 is looking for him. When I find him, I'm gonna stab his face with this kitchen knife that I found on the street out in front of my house. Dickie Juice 139! Remember that name, you little dick weasel?

Dickie Juice. That's right! I'm Dickie Juice 139, not that name, you little dick weasel? Dickie Juice. That's right. I'm Dickie Juice. 139. Not to be confused with Dickie Juice 137, because that guy's a fucking bitch. Or Dickie Juice 1 through 137. 138's cool, though. Yeah, he's alright. He's my brother. Don't fuck with him. All through the ages,

the Dickie Juices were a clan not to be trifled with. That's the first time that I've ever heard someone be really angry at somebody else on the internet while using the word daddy-o. Daddy-o. I make this shit crystal clear.

Daddy-o. There's another Dickie Juice 139 one. I'm not completely sure he's completely serious, but I like his style. I agree with the style, because that's a pretty creative way to get at someone. You know, it's usually just, I'm going to shoot you, or I'm going to kill...

Punching your mom in the face and then puking on the tits. I'm going to puke on your mom's tits. It's creative. Allow me to illustrate my point for you. Picture him walking in with a suit, punch, vomit, straightens a tie, walks out. If you haven't had enough,

I'll give you the other one. All right, go ahead. Yo, brah. Dickie Juice 139 here. Whoop, whoop. I'll knock out your punk ass and your punk ass friend, the internet.

No! Not my friend. He's weak. Don't you die on the internet. I heard thereass friend, the internet. No! Not my friend! He's weak! Don't you die on the internet! I heard there's photographs on the internet of you and the internet going out for dinner and holding hands and having gay butt sex with each other. You should have just agreed with me,

fuck or not. Now I'm gonna have to come over there and flip your fucking computer chair over and stomp on your stupid face and then puke on your face. Then I'm going to download child pornography. It's no films on your computer. And then leave. And then call the police and tell them you have child pornography

and it's no films on your computer. Ha! Punk ass bitch fucker not. I just like the part about the internet's got pictures of the internet and everything. There's a recursive thing going on here yeah so uh so jimmy franks you are a genius is that right that is correct okay well good um well i would like to hear your uh your genius rage my name is rage genius oh shit and uh and and my boggle is this

well so what is uh so what is your, I guess, thesis about here, then, Rage Genius? Deep throat that phone you fucking ice sperm salute. Certainly. All right. What is with these text and drive teenage blunt humpers? I'm fucking trying to enter the highway, and this motherfucking anus lip comes and almost sends me driving

into the ditch so I drive up to her so I can give her that cow eye look and what do you fucking know she's fucking texting on that BDSM keyboard they put on fucking phones what? that's a BDSM keyboard

can I get one? leather chains punch the keys harder. And she sees me and gives me a look that seemed like she was getting her ass sodomized by an anteater. Seen that look before. What, bitch, you're going to text to my phone, fuck you? Dumb quack that came out of a watered duck mouth. Then I watch as she almost drives two more people into a fucking ditch.

But what's with these people? They have as much smarts as a dog that has rabies. Well, I knew a pretty smart, rapid dog, but, uh... He was texting. Yeah, he was, actually. They're the main reason highway fatalities are skyrocketing. Well, DUI scum divers, too, but obviously the text BULLCUM is more of theing. Well, DUI scum divers, too, but obviously the text bullcum is more of the cause.

Certainly, yeah. Come on, dammit, this isn't text-a-mon. You gotta text-a-ball. She's a hammer. It's nice. You wanna text fucking do it while you sit your hippopotamus ass in a fucking chair. She has many, many animals, apparently.

It's a Noah's fucking Ark of Insults over here. Fuckers have become so obsessed with texting, some even text in bed to their fuckers while they orgasm. The fuck is the shit? That's a quandary. Texting should never have been created. Now that it is, people like me are at a high danger risk of dying while driving on a highway. That's right.

That's why we'll rewind for a second. Just imagine, like, two people having sex and one of them texts the other one and says, Harder, faster. Oh, yes. All XT. I like actually texting, I'm coming. To the people who do this overly ridiculous shit, hope a fucking elephant stomps your skull in

and takes a colossal shit on it. You bastards deserve to be gang-banged by Russian midgets. That was genius. Rage genius out. I'm kind of curious, what's peculiar about Russian midgets that would make the gang-banging that much worse than, say, conventional midgets? Well, you know, they probably smell like fish.

Oh, they do the dance while they're fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is squatting. Your calves get bruised. Yeah, it's kind of horrible. Hey, guys, I got a problem here. What's your problem? Well, let me tell you the name.

It's High School Boners. They're both capitalized. That's actually the name of the sitcom I want to pitch. It's a show on the CW. It's about people making unfortunate mistakes in high school. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my land, that show was a high school boner. Well, I did this two months ago, and my first question is why... Okay, what's your next question? My other question is why... That's philosophical. Okay, let me tell you what happened. I go to school, and while sitting in class, my penis gets so hard,

it practically gnaws an indentation in the seat. Also, I sit really weird. I try to shine it on and not think about it so it might go limp for when I need to get up off my seat. Does your boner usually shrink when you shine a flashlight on it? I was going to say. Does that typically help? No, he shines it on. He offers it flattery, but he doesn't really mean it.

It's got bicycle reflectors on it. I thought he was just using a bunch of wax and giving it a good polish. No, no, it's like what Jimmy said. I just look down at my crotch and say, yeah, you're really great. I really like you. You're really good. Let's see.

If it wasn't so embarrassing, I'd get up anyway and maybe some of the chicks would notice and follow me around but I don't need to be laughed at by the entire school so he's saying it would be really embarrassing for me to walk around with a boner

but like women would totally dig it oh he's got a penis let's have sex with him I don't know much about women, but I know chicks love dudes with boners. Dysfunctional anatomy?

He just walks by. He walks by, ladies, I'm erect. You're welcome. That's what I was doing wrong in high school the whole damn time. I love boners. I'll take your number first, and then your number. So I sit there half the time with my penis threatening my next move.

Your what? He's got one mean heart on. He's got an eye patch and a cutlass. So we meet again. We find ourselves in this situation so often, don't we? His penis is sitting there in a yellow and black track suit going

Get ready to get some kung fu Constantly petting a white cat The white pussy He's constantly reenacting the plot of Taken Give me back my cum I don't like it And I, and I do Like, except that it's getting

uncontrollably hard at the wrong times. Why does this have to happen to me at school? Anonymous, I have a theory. This is just a theory. I mean, I don't I'm not a medical practitioner or anything, but maybe because you're a teenage boy.

Maybe? Maybe that's it. I don't even know. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. Alright, Boots. You totally get this one. I'm good. Good.

G.I. Joe 45. I'm G.I. Joe 45. What's vexing you, Guy Joe 45? Why do girl hate anal sex? Which one? Why do girl hate anal sex? I don't know. Which one?

Well, let me tell you. Okay. Is it too much to ask my girlfriend? All I want to do is tie her up, gag her, and fuck her in her tight ass. But no. She can't deal with the pain. Last time, supposedly, she was shitting blood for two months, which I think is bull. Go on.

Why are girls so against anal sex? I i use lube but they complain every time so you gag her you tie her up and then you fuck her and then she shits blood for two months why is she so against it is that your question it's a perfectly reasonable request yeah you know i'm I'm nice about it They're always complaining Who are you? Where have you taken me? Can you please let me go? Nothing but complaints I'll do anything you say

Just to the cops My parents have money God, it's just on and on and on Okay Is that the same guy as the high school boners guy? Sure Jimmy Franks, you were mad at Okay. Is that the same guy as the high school boners guy? Sure. Jimmy Franks, you were mad at electronic haters? I don't even know what that means.

So angry. New from Galoob. They really don't like electrons. Oh, okay. I thought it was like haters that were robots, maybe. No, it's like haters that were robots, maybe. Oh. No, it's like Daft Punk. They're electronic.

Electronic haters. Yeah. Oh. Okay. First, I'm walking down to gym for six period in the hallway, and I was arguing with a threw a punch at me. Oh. Oh. Head high. Wow. I me. Oh. Head high.

Wow. I'm so angry. Four sentences. Okay. So I catch it, throw him in a locker, kick him in the balls. Wait, he literally threw a punch at you.

Yeah. Here you go. It was a bowl of punch. Well, if it was underhand, it wasn't meant to be me. Here's a punch. Catch a flying punch and throw it in a lock. Okay.

Of course I get suspended. Of course. That's okay. I shouldn't get in trouble because I didn't start the fight right. Wrong! Can't kick people there. It could damage them for life, says Dad, screaming at the top of his voice as neighbors look at the

house as if it's haunted. That word is not neighbors. What word is that? Neighbors? Nope, let's go with that. You're close. Neighbors. Neighbors. Neighbors.

Neighbors. That's boers. Boers. Boers. Nyboers. Oh, yeah. It's a Nyboers over there. Okay. So five days I'm grounded. Then my birthday is when I got ungrounded, which is September 22nd. I get cable and a phone finally. It wasn't so bad.

Yay. Okay. Good. After the weekend, Dad accuses me for stealing stuff. Bullshit! When did this come up? 12 days now. I'm off another groundment.

What does this have to do with Moby? That's okay. 12 days, you're gonna get a whole bunch of presents. 12 days of groundment. What do you know? Dad wakes me up today on Columbus Day at 640 AM telling me

to clean for the cleaning lady what the hell that doesn't make sense clean for the cleaning lady why bother hiring her you want to make out with her if that's the case you might want to work on a new diet dad what what

where did he jump from clean for the cleaning lady to make out with her? So I ask him, why bother hiring her? He says, stop with the attitude. I say, what am I doing? He says, that's it, you're grounded for two weeks, no TV, you're friends. It's like the breakfast club.

Yeah, this is really... Did Bender write this? Fuck him, as if he doesn't know what fucking attitude is. He is a bitch. I hope your parents are way fucking better than mine. Oh, well, thank you. That was an unnice note. I like that you were just slowly turning into Macho Man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just, yeah, gradual. Real quick, listen as anonymous, but I'm pretty sure your name is Raging Every Day. And Raging Every Day, who are your friends? Oh, I got a lot of friends. I got Head On, Key Pissed,

Arneria, Smell My Bunghole Guy, Dr. Feelgood, All of Your Effects, Sarah Admin, The Eggman Frogs are flying, I don't give a shit These are some very good They're good people

This is posse, it's like Dick Tracy I know these people, they're good folks Resent has a very serious problem. Hey, I'm resent. Yeah. I've got kind of the same problem as you, except girls at school do notice me, flirt with me, and give me hugs. The thing is, though, that it never goes further than that. It's my fault, though, because I don't pick up on their signs quick enough.

I haven't had a GF since high school started, and it pisses me off. Rage-y! Pick up on their signs. I'm such a player, I'm just so slow about it. I think he's probably thinking, like, oh, it's kind of friend-zoney type shit. Oh, the girl hugged me, but she doesn't want to have sex with me. What the hell? Mixed signals, lady. They actually dropped printed graphics of

road signs that say, I want to have sex with you, and he's just picking it up like, what does it mean? Alright, uh, poor Tex. A movie rant? Ooh, a movie rant. Uno momento. Okay, here we go. So this is in the shitty cinema section of Just Raise. Sure.

Yeah. Misleading movies. Okay. Yeah. Why do movies have to be misleading? If this is a fiction story, okay, but if it's supposed to be a true or history, they should not make false parts.

What are you talking about? Yeah, why can't they film on location in a World War I movie? What the hell? The recent I saw was about Workle War II. I assumed it is named

Inglourious Bastards. If only Dollar Bill could have told me it wasn't a documentary. I'm pretty sure that was all historically accurate. This move shows Hitler getting killed

in the way that never happened back. Also, a lot of other German high-ranking officers, this is definitely not how this was. How do you know? Because

my German-Japanese girlfriend told me Oh, of course Yeah, anyone saying this movie would think this was true if they did not count It's so true Quentin Tarantino had such a storied documentary career before that movie came out He just threw it all away He's pretty much the David Attenborough of Jews with baseball bats when you think about it.

The Ken Burns of his time. Now here we have Eli Roth. He's gearing up to smack him in the head. There's a lot of life stories of real people that are done incorrectly, too. So, can you tell when it's real or made up? If a person's life story or a war story is so good that they make a movie of it,

why not make it right to every part? If they have... So... Huh? Okay. What? that they make a movie of it, why not make it right to every part? If they have... So... Huh? Okay. What? I'm just imagining how really interesting cinema would be if it was just

historically recreating World War II over and over and over again. Uh-huh. And next you're going to be telling me to take a bath. Shut up, 3D asshole. Oh, man. If they have to make up stuff, maybe it was not such a good story at all? That's a good point.

That's interesting. Fuck you, fiction. Yeah. So things should be true if they are true and not a lie. That's misleading people and children too. See, this was Dollar Bill.

He was concerned about children watching it. I love that you're just offended by the concept of fiction. It's not. It's wrong. It's not. It's wrong. It's just not right. It's true.

I'll bet you anything that the real setup for this was that this person watched The Glorious Bastards, then went to her friends like, I can't believe Hitler actually died in a theater. Did you guys know that? And then once everybody started making fun of her, she's like, I got a post on Just Raid. This movie ruined my life. This is the movie's fault, not mine. Why did they get an actor to play Hitler? Couldn't they have gotten a real Hitler?

What the fuck, movie? John, I don't even have an intro for that. You're angry about something. Yeah, I got something to be angry about. Yeah, I hope it's a good thing. I feel like a lot of these people are complaining about some dumb bullshit. I hope you have a real issue to bring to the table.

Yeah, I got a real issue. What's that? Fucking Campbell's. Like Pete Campbell from Mad Men? That would be more relevant. I hate him. I'm Coco B and I'm racist Like Pete Campbell from Mad Men? That would be more relevant. I hate him. I'm Coco B and I'm racist two years ago. Look, I've watched Campbell's come out

with the same nasty looking chunky soups recently. Shit that shouldn't even exist in cans. But I didn't care because I could always go and buy their fajita beef chunky soup. I could live off this shit if I had to. It was so good. Nothing like it. And then what happens?

Fucking discontinued. Urgh! Sure, keep the shitty chowder that tastes like someone canned goat semen. Keep that new... How does he know how canned goat semen tastes? Don't ask. I'll tell you later. Keep that new three-bean pork ass-rape soup, or whatever that you just released,

and discontinue the one thing you made that was actually good. Campbell says terrible product labeling. Yeah. The cartoon pig on the front of it, though. Something to be seen. I'm raping your ass with these three beans!

Hey, check this out! This isn't the first time a great food product was taken away, leaving shit in its place. Anyone remember Italiano Doritos? They're gone, too. But you can still buy Cool Ranch, Dill Pickup, Dill Pickle, Ketchup, and whatever other shit-flavored Doritos thought would be good. What the fuck? I can only hope it's a regional thing.

Anyone out there knows of a store that sells fajita beef, please tell me. So, for the record, the— Fajita beef chunky soup sounds really gross. Yeah, totally. Look, I just cannot believe the decline in quality, the quality we all know of canned food and Doritos. It was such a high level, and now it's so bad. Yeah, Coco B, I'm with you all the way, man. Anybody that's willing to tell truth to power to the Doritos Corporation, I'm on your side,

man. Where's our Italiano? Where's our Italiano? All right, I think we're finally ready for this one. Acer. Oh. Uh-oh. I have a master one for you.

Uh-oh. There you go. Uh-oh. Oh, my God. What? I have a master one for you. Uh-oh. There you go. Oh my god! What? I think it's like... Yeah, let me... I'm gonna need about a minute

so I can soundproof this place a little bit. Okay, got the bourbon. Just bang that bottle. Mm-hmm, yeah. Fuck, Bell! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! I you! Fuck you!

I fucking spent the entire fucking day trying to get my fucking Xbox to fucking work after I let my fucking sisters play on it for the fucking once, thinking I could trust them. Then the fucking modem stops connecting the fucking internet, so now I can't go on my laptop. No biggie!

Oh, okay, good. I'm glad everything worked out fine. Fuck you! I'm not done yet. I'm so not fucking done yet. You shut the, good. I'm glad. Everything worked out fine. Fuck you. I'm not done yet. I'm so not fucking done yet. You shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. I call Bell for tech support,

and I get to talk on the annoying fucking automated tech support lady so I can be able to hold so I can listen to annoying fucking commercials during five fucking seconds. I didn't fucking call to listen to fucking commercials, you stupid fucking fucks. His keyboard has a fucking button. Okay, okay, okay. Back to normal.

Okay, good. Hello, welcome to Techneco Suburb. My name is Zunid. How can I help you today? Fucking, where the fuck is someone who speaks fucking English? I mean, is it so hard? Just once in my fucking life? Is it so hard because I'm not understand the headache you put me through?

Yes, Bell. I'm talking to you. Yes, I'm using a white fucking modem! Yes, I don't have filters on all my phones! For fuck's sake! I've gone through this procedure a billion fucking times with you retards! For God's sake! I've had more conversations with Belzec support than my fucking

grandparents! Shame on you for that. Write it down next time, you fucks! It's not like I'm gonna fucking pull all the filters and call you back just for the fuck of it! So, I spend the next 30

fucking minutes giving this dumbass my credentials so he can verify that I'm the fucking account holder, even though the entire fucking time I was pretending to be my dad, so fuck you, Bell! You fail! You waste my fucking time! How dare they enforce security when I'm breaking that security. Clearly, yeah, it doesn't work. Pretend to be your dad. The dick shit then pretends, then proceeds to put me on hold for his inability to do his job. Please hold while I do my job badly!

Hoorah fucking yay! I gotta do this right. I'm sorry, guys. I'll let you down badly. Hoorah fucking yay. I gotta do this right. I'm sorry, guys. I'll let you down here. Hoorah fucking yay. Hoorah fucking yay. That's the new cheer of the USMC. An English female gets on the line

and then begins to ask me the same fucking questions the last guy asked me. Is there any consistency with these people? Apparently, yes. Do they all repeat from scratch as they move up the fucking chain of command? Fuck these idiots! Piss me off!

Ugh. Great. It's my lucky fucking day, apparently. Now I have to wait till tomorrow so they can sign a technician because something must have short-circuited, she says. Isn't that fucking fantastic? No, it's not fantastic. You must be angry about this.

I am kind of a little steamed by God. So the next day, some skinny asshole arrives at the house and already I can tell he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. He's staring at my modem asking me,

door, what seems to be the problem. Sounds like a very good tech. Door on the tech. Seriously? Turn it off and on again. That's how I plug it. Did it not tell you? Are you trying to fucking piss me off?

It would be hard. I had a terrible sleep last night because I almost lost my sanity because of you, Durgoth, trying to fuck with me and passing me around and putting me on hold so I could listen to your shitty advertisements, you fucking cheap fucks!

Now I'm imagining how the conversation really went, which was, Durgoth, what seems to be the problem? Oh, well, you're trying to connect to the internet. I'm just gonna comment on how light of a sleeper he is it's like what keeps him up at night is oh god i had a customer service call that took longer than i wanted how can i sleep when i'm not torrenting also i stubbed my toe once i can't get over that you guys can muck all want, but Yuzak really is the music of the devil.

So now this guy, alright, I'm not done yet. This guy picks the perfect time to stop by when nobody except me and my little sisters are home, so now I'm fucking forced to stick around and watch out for them. It's okay though, I love my

sisters, even though I am suspicious they did this to me. Is Angry his happy? I'm confused now. Yeah, I'm fucking happy. You had a fucking problem with that? No, no, no, I'm fine. You better fucking not.

This guy fucking installs a bunch of new phone jacks, went for the phone, and went for my modem. That's nice. Then goes downstairs and starts sticking around on the ceiling and installs some kind of fucking splitter

and then leaves without even explaining what the fuck it does. You could have asked him. So he leaves his faggoty-ass number behind. 1-800-LOVE-COCK. Well, I thought, really, because I read it as 1-800-GAY-GAY-GAY-GAY-GAY-GAY-GAY, but, you know,

I call him, and he tells me I don't need the filters on anything anymore. Now I can just plug a 20-foot Ethernet cable, which I went and got today, and my Xbox go online without the need of bringing down my modem. Finally, some good fucking news! I'm angry about that too!

So, after wasting ten fucking bucks, it turns out the fucking splitter doesn't do shit! If I fucking plug in the Ethernet cable, the phone stops working! What the fucking kind of

fucking technician is this guy? Fuck this shit! Fuck you for reading this! Fuck you, Bell, for being this shithole of IS providers! And fuck you, Infinity Ward, for your stupid fucking killstreak rewards! Now I think we're getting to the real root of this anger. What?

Oh, it's really bothering you is your kill-death ratio, isn't it? I feel a lot better having gotten that off my chest, I tell you. And now to play Katamari Damacy! Okay, so, yeah. So that didn't turn out well. Okay, I'll admit that, but I

just love how angry he was at every single step in that. So this guy comes in and he looks and he doesn't know what to do. But I just love how angry he was at every single step in that. So this guy comes in and he looks and he doesn't know what to do. And I'm like, fucking, that's ridiculous. And then he starts doing things. That fucking sucks. It's like, what do you want? What would satisfy you? I hate having to pee.

I hate having to pee. Peeing sucks, man. And like, you know, you're in the middle of a kill streak and then you got to pee. Like, what are you going to do? Are you going to just, like, give up your kill streak? Are you going to go, like, you know, pee're in the middle of a killstreak, and then you gotta pee. Like, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna just, like, give up your killstreak? Or are you gonna go, like, you know, pee in a bottle? No, I just piss all over myself. I mean, fuck, that just pisses me off!

Yeah, am I gonna put my controller down on the ground? If only I had a way to attach it to my... Not with the gamer's hip clip, yeah. Boots had a more elaborate joke, and he just kind of interrupted it. If only I had a way to attach... Hey, guys! Gamer's hip clip! Yeah?

I put five dollars into the fucking gamer's hip clip and they never made it! Oh yay! Thanks boots! I assume you want to take this one yourself? Okay You guys have a serious conversation to talk about here

Oh thank god, that last thing we read was kind of stupid Hopefully this will be really smart Yeah I want to talk about here. Oh, thank God. That last thing that we read was kind of stupid. Yeah. Hopefully this will be really smart. Yeah, I want to talk about nanotechnology and the Large Hadron Collider. Sure. Yeah, sounds good. Good. Please. Yep. Yep. It's going in a good direction. Alright. Science is cool and all. Sure.

But fucking with this kind of shit is likely to bring on doomsday. For one, nanotechnology is fucking stupid. Well, I can't argue with that. You win. You just won the argument right there. Basically, they're making these tiny robots the size of molecules that respawn using atoms they collect.

What? When you corner them and shoot them, they spawn somewhere different on the map with the atoms they collect. So you've got to spawn camp the fuckers before they collect atoms. Yeah, it's a different on the map with the atoms they collected. Oh, so you gotta spawn camp the fuckers before they collect atoms. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass. Alright, these little bastards would be useful medically and shit,

but all it takes is one of the one of them to go haywire and start reproducing like mad. Then its offspring would reproduce, and the amount of nanoshits would increase exponentially until our Earth

is consumed in a robotic grey goo. What? I think I'm getting this right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going. I've been fact-checking this. This is all accurate. All in a matter of days, so don't fuck with this technology. I cannot argue with your grasp of science.

You've destroyed the argument. Yeah, that's only the first part of why science is wrong. There's more? Yeah, there's a second part. No, I'm just saying, I think this person had a book on the Large Hadron Collider and then a Michael Crichton novel, and they picked up the wrong book. This is probably what Michael Crichton thinks the LHC does. He pretty much wrote a book that was exactly this, actually, so there you go. This is probably what Michael Crichton thinks the LHC does.

He pretty much wrote a book that was exactly this, actually. So there you go. Yeah. Except he's dead. Yay. Yay. And the fucking Large Hadron Collider would be responsible for several different doomsday scenarios. Simultaneously.

Yeah. Basically, it's the largest machine ever. What? Which is ironic, considering all the nanobots? Yeah. Basically, it's the largest machine ever. What? Which is ironic, considering all the nanobots. Yeah. I hate things that are really small and really large. Normal size is the only size for me. Look, he's looking for the Goldilocks machine.

It's got to be just right. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, okay, it's the largest machine ever, and it smashes all these atoms together so scientists can learn about them. Well, we can't have that. Yeah. This could bring about time travel. Yay!

Which, time travel, which would be the end of life as we know it. Seriously, if I wasn't reading along with you, I would have accused you of making that up. No, he's literally just going back through Michael Crichton's catalog. The next thing is going to be about Jurassic Park, and then it's going to be about a virus. Trust me, it would mess up everything. Okay. And then Dark Matter, or sorry, Dark Mater,

the shit that's in black holes, and this shit called Strange Matter, which turns everything it touches into itself, which would exponentially turn the world into shit. Matter is strange when you're strange.

No. Not at all? Yeah, scientists, go home. Okay. Please. I don't want to die. But I live at the Large Hadron Collider. I could have just seen it in 1940. They've made these vacuum tubes and they've organized them into a machine that can fit inside only a small nine-story building, and it can compute, like, two multiplication numbers within an hour.

Stop it before the madness. It'll run all the mathematicians out of jobs. I like that of everything that we've read so far on this podcast about the Large Hadron Collider, you have been the wrongest. Congratulations. I know. That's pretty good. It's really kind of amazing. Yeah, I mean, that's a really high bar that you jumped over.

I can't imagine how the next guy could be wronger than you. Not only was he so wrong about it, he was wrong about something that is not related to it at all, which just puts it on another level. He was specifically talking about different things. Because it was nanotechnology and the Large Hadron Collider. Oh yeah, that's true. He was fitting two angry things into one rant. But you know, if multiple people

say the same things, then statistically the odds of them being right go up considerably. You know, he's not the only person who's put forward the time travel theory. Well, that is true. That is true. That is how furries actually exist, by that policy.

Alright, Kindle authors. I'm angry at you. Stop self-publishing! Lots of exclamation points! Picture somebody writing at their computer like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything. Stop it! Put it down!

Okay, I'll just delete this. I'm sorry. My name is Ariel Fuck. Wish I could be part of... Fuck. Anyway, I'm Ariel Fuck. I raged this three months ago. Stop self-publishing all your crap.

If it was any good, a real publisher would accept it. My publisher only accepts 8% of manuscripts sent to them. I was so proud and thrilled that my novel was going to be published by this good publisher and that two other real publishers wanted me as well. But I'm getting overshadowed by all these fucking morons in my life that are self-publishing

and acting like it's the same thing. No, it's not, bitches! You are not real writers like me! Ha! Uh-huh. Some of them, like my stupid fucking stepmother, are paying companies like $1,000 to publish their retarded books. Then my stupid father tried to spend $4,000 to publish his book,

but I put a stop to that shit and demanded the scam artist self-publishing aka Vanity Publishing Company give the old man his money back. Now, half the people in my original writers group that used to be so sad because they weren't published act all excited because they have a RELEASE coming out because they're self-publishing.

How dare they overshadow my capital real news of having a capital real publishing contract with that bullshit. Capital and capital then. A bunch of them got paid to speak at the writers conference. So by that time, I wanted to get to speak at the writers conference so by that time i wanted to get to speak at the writers conference and earn some money the way i would have loved and that would fulfill a life dream guess what the places are filled up half of them by people who have never hacked have never actually achieved a real and then another l but that was lowercase. Publishing contract. When I now

have one with a capital REAL publisher. I wish I could wipe all this sudden acceptance of self-publishing off the face of the earth. Because this should be exclusive. Why are you guys doing a thing? Pay more attention

to me. That's what the title should have been. Why are you guys doing a thing? Pay more attention to me. That's what the title should have been. I want to publish for my vanity, but it offends me that you guys are diminishing my vanity by also publishing. Okay, I guess I'll do air in a bag of potato chips. I am king fucktards. Oh, shit. Yes, you are. And my smiley face is teethy.

Yeah, it is. Okay, anyone who knows me knows you don't fuck with my food. That's rule number one. This is a fateful day in 2007 when I first submitted this rage, only to have same knockdown by DK. Okay, I still haven't gotten a good answer as to why almost two-thirds of a bag of potato chips is fucking air. Well, that's because Miss J's father patented it. Yeah, exactly. He's got to make his money. Okay, so King Fucktard, these potato chips are made in a factory somewhere in the country.

No, that's not good enough. Not good enough. If I pay $3 plus Hunter S. Thompson for a bag of potato chips, that's $3.40. I expect $3.40 worth of sodium, starch, saturated fat, and calories. Not air. $3.40, okay.

Before I close off, a respectful nod to the folks at Pringles who are smart enough to make all their chips the same size, form, and shape so they fit nicely in a tall jar with barely any overpriced air taking up the bounce. Because they're actually not slices of potatoes. They're sort of pressed sawdust. You shut your mouth! I'm sorry.

You're probably a healthy weight asshole. Let me talk. The unfortunate part of this is that Pringles don't taste very good after you've got past the first handful. Which is how I eat them. So they promote...

Need a new can! It's chip. Because flavor rises. It's chip number six that's the breaking point. It's like god what was i doing yeah yeah so so they promote portioned eating something i'm not a fan of i noticed nothing better yeah my heart's about to give out so i'm gonna wrap this up finally before i forgot even in spite of this and other disappointments life brings, at least I'm not cleaning a white man's toilet.

Fair enough. Didn't see that coming. You guys didn't know that. That's a shite. That's a weird. Shy Amalan-esque. Hey, who's never done a British accent on this podcast? Oh, God.

Actually, I never have. I don't think Jimmy Franks has Yeah, Jimmy Franks To the first post by Wildy Man Yes, well, the amount of food You yikes consume is ridiculous It's just as well They don't fill the crisp bags to the brim

Fuck me, you lot Would all be enormous I remember visiting The Disney Epcot Center Fucking hell, it was unbelievable. I have never seen so many fat cunts in one place. Jesus!

You had fat bods on mobility scooters, and they could hardly fit on them, and these scooters are the large ones. Don't forget, I for the life of me didn't know how they even got on these scooters. Forklift truck? Yes, can I get the small rascal, please?

For a petite frame? Wildy, man, you're not done. Yeah. In fact, when I was in the Epcot center, I popped into one of the restaurants, you know, to get a cup of tea. Well, I swear to God, I saw some fat guy

with what I call munching bum syndrome. Why? As he walked past some small chubby kid tucking into some fries, a hand shot out from his arse and snatched them off his kid. Fuck me all, El Broklus. It was pandemonium.

Does that? He has just like a robotic arm that he keeps wedged up his ass. Wait a second. He can steal fries from kids. Wait a second, you called chips fries. Who are you really? Boots, what's on your mind?

A male horse. Oh. What type question is, or what type rage is this? Thirteen hours ago I raged this in matched marriages. My husband is the walking, talking definition of the heading male whore. Found an online profile of him in a dating site. Here I am, his free maid, to take care of the house and kids. Free cook to feed him and whore to sleep with when he wants.

Well, this shameless two-faced ass insists he loves me and my foot. He swears up and down he wasn't aware of what he was doing when he signed. And imagine his so his frying pan is heating. I am about to start frying. I will make him sorry he will ever cross my path, let alone marry me. Arminaria responds, get him! I love actually picturing this

husband here going, what? Oh, I guess that is me on that dating profile. No, I don't know how that happened. That's weird. How the fuck did that happen? Yeah, the internet's just weird.

I don't know. John, very angry about something. I am? Yep, very, very angry. Hi, my name is King Fucktard. Hey, King Fucktard. King Fucktard. He's angry over you. Supersize.

McDonald's. Why you no fill supersize fry container to top? Jesus. We're talking a meme talk about McDonald's. Yeah, there we go. The internet is done. Why the fuck would I order super-sized slash large fries

if they're only going to put in a medium-sized fries with the fries in it? This will be reported to Consumer Affairs Department, and I'm getting a spot on Fifth Estate, too. Now on Fifth Estate, Fat Fuck did not get all the fries he ordered. I did not spend the kind of money I spent To have three of them be brown at the bottom

Stupid fucking pizza store I ordered baked ziti with sausage And extra sauce And these boozles for another fucking penne They gave me baked penne with vodka sauce With an extra sausage Like what? Are you not Italian?

You know, don't you know the difference between a penne pasta and a ziti pasta? And what is with the fucking vodka sauce? The ziti sauce is much cheaper. And why the fuck did you put four pounds of mozzarella chip on top? Are you trying to make me constipated? Fuck! Under new management? Fuck you!

Dumb stupid shit! I just slobbered over my microphone doing that. Anonymous really sums up this entire site. No one fucking cares. I agree with response one. Smell my fucking ass. I'd like to say I agree with response one and two. Thank you. I agree with response one. Smell my fucking ass. I'd like to say I agree with response one and two.

Thank you. I agree with responses one, two, and three, especially number two's bit about smelling. A goat can feel happy. A goat can feel sad. A goat can feel wonderful. A goat can feel mad. Feel mad.

Feel mad. Feel mad. It ain't bad to feel wonderful. A goat can feel mad. Feel mad. Feel mad. Feel mad. It ain't bad to feel mad. If someone pulled the hair on his chin, would a goat say nothing, stand there and grin? No, I get mad. I get mad. I get mad.

It ain't bad to get mad. And what? And there we go. Around about an hour of things that infuriate me! John, what'd you learn this week? I learned that there are some people who are just physically, mentally incapable of letting shit go. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You end up working with them every once in a while. Yeah, it's just... You know, I mean, if I forget, like, you know... If I'm like, oh shit, I don't have any razor blades at home, my last one's dull, I better buy some. If I don't put that on a shopping list immediately and that's important stuff because you know if i i don't want to share with the dull razor next morning that's something that's at least somewhat important for my next morning right but if i don't put that out on a shopping list i'm gonna forget that shit yeah these people like they're angry about something and it's usually

dumb things but they like they keep it in their head and they let it stew and they go home and they remember to put it into their web account on the site and post this paragraph about it. At that point, I'd be okay with, like, oh, you know what? That girl who said my iPod looks dumb, I'm okay with it now.

I've chilled out. I'm home. I don't need to worry about it. But no, no, this shit won't stand. There's an initial reaction that you have that's very human and normal and probably good. That, like, if you're crossing a room going from one place to another and it's dark and you don't see something and you accidentally, like, trip over a box and you bang your toe into the box, you go, ow, and then you go, stupid box. And, like, you actually get angry at the box because it's naturally appropriate. But then you go on, you go like, oh, God, I fucking hurt my toe. You wouldn't say to somebody, the box hurt my toe.

Exactly. But for some reason, these are people that can't internalize. Well, they just can't internalize at all. Right. And just get to spend all their time uh blaming others for you know what happened to you yeah you're probably you're right about the non-internalizing too maybe i was wrong maybe these just all these people have i mean everybody's got some kind of phone that can go on the internet these days maybe those people are just immediately like they just immediately

sit down with their phone it's like all right just rage you're gonna hear about this and if you're looking for a place uh to tell people what you're angry about, you could go to thefpl.us. There is a comment section and you should also go to that site and stay tuned for a very very very

exciting, important revelation in FPL community-ness. I can't say what it is just yet, but we'll have an announcement on the website about a new cool thing that I've been working on the last week or so. Wait a minute. I don't even know what you're talking about. That makes me really mad.

I know a place you can complain about it. I'm going to post a comment. All right. Good night. It gets mine. It gets mine. It gets mine. It ain't mine. It gets mine. It gets mine. It gets mine. It ain't mine.

It gets mine. Alright, relevant Tumblr post from Ditsy Scene regarding our readings. Dear F+, it's okay. You honestly don't have to try doing English accents whenever you see a poster from there. Really. It's okay. Honestly. Sincerely.

A fan. Tag the... I'm sorry they're just really bad si senor si senor crikey also did si senor yes yes we do

yeah we have to sorry sorry