The F Plus - 94: I'm Really More of An Idea Guy

Episode Date: February 15, 2013

Politicians would insist that American ingenuity is the reason for American exceptionalism. They are, of course, lying. All it really takes to be exceptional is the belief that you are exceptional, everything else is just details. Fortunately for the subjects of tonite’s episode (the members of InventorSpot and AHHHA) details aren’t important. They have an idea. They haven’t given it any thought, they won’t give it any effort, and it’s not a good idea in the first place, but they have an idea. This week, pay attention or it's the naughty chair again.

This episode of the F Plus is brought to you by Ball Pit, the new F Plus community handcrafted by Lemon. Registrations are open now. That's right now at this very second at B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. With a number of modern features and a modest one-time registration fee, Ball Pit is where hard-ons collide. Register now at Bp.it. Ball Pit, where hard-ons collide.

Inventors and inventions have changed the lives of all. Inventors and inventions, let's celebrate them one and all. I know that when you get excited, good things usually happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've got all these ideas. Ideas? Yeah. The other day.

For the podcast or unrelated? No, totally unrelated. I met this guy at a political event a couple months ago, and he's told me he's an inventor. And I had this in my mind. I'm like, I could be an inventor. This guy who just sort of loafs around a political event and talks to everybody for endless periods of time can be an inventor. I could totally be an inventor as well. Okay.

So you invented something? No. Okay. But you have an idea for an invention? Yes. Good. I have an idea. Okay. Well, that's a good first step.

Okay. So what do you got? It's a yo-yo that goes up and down instead of down and up. How would people know the difference? Well, because, okay, you know when you see someone use a yo-yo, and they throw it downwards, and then it comes back up? Right. Yeah, this is a yo-yo that you throw upwards, and then it comes back down.

Okay, okay. But also, if you throw it upwards, sometimes it will stay up there for a little bit if you throw it hard enough, and then you can pull it back down. Sure. You understand how gravity works, right? No. Okay. Okay. Boots, I've got to tell you, your idea is unworkable and stupid.

Well, that's not my problem. No. Actually, whose problem is the Internet's stupid. Well, that's not my problem. No. Actually, whose problem is it is the Internet's problem. Yeah, yeah. See, I'm the idea man. I put the ideas out there. It's totally up to somebody else to figure out how to do it. Yeah, it's up to the engineers.

Yeah, but it will be my invention once it's made. Because I am the visionary. Clearly. Well, you are self-aggrandizing and lazy, and that means that the internet is the place for you. We're going to be going to a website called AHA! AHA! Hmm. Where what you do is you write down the idea for your invention, and then you leave. Yeah, that sounds like exactly my kind of place.

Readers assemble! Yeah, that sounds like exactly my kind of place. Raiders assemble! In the room tonight we have Portex. Multiply Myself by Matt Crowe. I want more of me because there is not enough time in the day. Bunny bread! Okay, so here's the problem. You love tacos, but you find them very difficult to drink.

Ah, taco flavored soda. Bam! By Matt Crowe. Stog. Silent chips for people who chew like a cow. By Matt Crowe. Boots, rain gear. No more lines.

We gotta get rid of all the lines in the coffee shops. By Matt Crowe. Our guest for the evening, Frank West. I want to thank my cell phone into calling and texting. I don't want to have to hit buttons or call text anymore. By Matt Crowe. And Lemon. Men and women communicate very differently. I propose a type of plug-in. A girlfriend plug-in anymore by Matt Crowe. And Lemon. Men and women communicate very differently.

I propose a type of plug-in. A girlfriend plug-in by Matt Crowe. Do you know who it was who invented TV? Yes, Bear was the man who invented TV. Bear was the man who invented TV. Okay, so we are today dealing with two different sites. One is called theinventorspotforum.com, and the other one is called Aha!

They are both websites for people that have ideas for inventions or products or things, like a Kickstarter kind of thing, only it's for people that would otherwise post on Kickstarter, but they're just not that motivated. Oh, nice. So if you imagine Kickstarter, but lazier and stupider. Yes! Terrible ideas!

It's like that Dragon's Den show, I guess. I can't wait to see the terrible ideas. I really actually wish we would have concept-themed this whole thing out to be like Dragon's Den. It's not too late. I mean, Snog and Bunnybrook can just improv. Shark Tank? That's the American one, right? Yeah.

Oh. If you lose on that one, they put you in an actual Shark Tank. Oh, wow. That's appropriate. Yeah, Mark Cuban is no longer with us. God bless his soul. That's fine. So I'm looking for somebody with the sexiest voice in the room.

Frank West, Frank West, Frank West. Yeah, that's right. Frank West. That's who I was thinking of. This is a product called Eargasm. This is a product called Eargasm. If you will bring your sultry, dulcet tones to explain Eargasm to us. I heard about this in the first verse of No Diggity.

Do we have a little ding sound for every time Blackstreet is mentioned in the podcast? We're just going to keep a running tally and then add them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. If any listener is that, never mind. Don't challenge them. You know they will. I mean, I'd do that, but I need some funding first,

so just go to my inventors.com. All right. Frank West, what is the Eargasm? This is the earphone of the future. This earphone has a dual purpose. Listen to music and make you feel good just like you having sex. Use earphone also calm your nerve,

relax your mind, release pressure, or simply be happy without any drugs. Okay. You can use a nail salon, dentist, doctor. No, no, no. Not a nail salon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Redo that sentence. Wait. You can use it in a nail salon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Redo that sentence. Wait. You can use it in a nail saloon.

I'm here to have my nails done and also to run my horse. Or you can use this device while you're having sex to create triple pleasure. Triple pleasure? It's like the sounds of having sex while I'm having sex, you say. I will buy three of them right now. How futurist now. So, Fian63, who's a yellow belt, I don't know in what. In nail salooning.

Didn't spend any time explaining what the product was. But I'm going to imagine it's like somebody talking sexy, right? Yeah. I don't know what else you need to know. It has a dual purpose. It's the earphone of the future. You can use it in a nail saloon. And it creates triple pleasure while you're having sex. If it has a dual purpose, how can I

get triple pleasure out of it? Look, every... Because there are two headphones, there are two earplugs, and you put them in your ears, and they work in tandem. That's how you get... That's how they have a dual purpose. The dual purpose is to make you feel good

when not having sex. And the other purpose is to make you feel good while you're having sex. I like the idea. I really like the idea of somebody putting their earbuds in before fucking. It's totally awesome. If the chick has a really annoying voice,

it's just easier. Oh, you're so good! Why are you always listening to your iPod? Shut up, I'm listening to the F+. Oh, don't do that, no. What a horrible thought. If anyone can maintain an erection, why? Wait, what was I supposed to be doing with this podcast?

All right. Boots. This is a product also by CN63, the yellow belt. It seems pretty cool. Just explain to me. You have a vehicle, right? Yeah. Yeah.

It's a land, sea, and air vehicle all in one. Wow. Okay. So it's a hydroplanner. Yeah, and I'm going to give you some details. Good. Yeah, here are the advantages of this all-in-one vehicle. One, weight 500 pounds without passengers.

Oh, okay. All right, that's pretty light. Two, doesn't run on gasoline, so no pollution. Oh, that's good. I mean, personally, I'm against pollution. So I'm interested, but how does it do that? Well, we'll get there. Number three will explain. I'm sure we'll get there.

Number three, no noise. Okay. Ever. Number four, crash-proof. Vehicle retained the same shape after impact. Body shop no longer needed. Is it made out of wily coyotes? Well, it's crash-proof, but it does

turn into an accordion for a little while. No, it keeps the same shape as it had before the impact. It's already like a crushed ball. It's a crashed car already. Pre-destroyed car. Five uses a combination of five sources for power. Name them right now. It's a crashed car already. Pre-destroyed car. Five uses a combination of five sources for power.

Name them right now. Sure. No. Fire, water, wind, and water. One, two, three, four, five. Done. Named. Okay, I'm convinced. Go on.

Six. Passengers always protected from all accidents, such as falling off the cliff from the sky. Crash. Yeah, yeah. You forgot cliff from the sky. Crash. Yeah, yeah. You forgot boom at the end. Nope. There's no boom. There isn't, yeah.

You're protected from boom. Yeah, that's true. All right, seven. No windshield or any glass windows, but you can see outside. Cool smiley. That is pretty rad, man. Use a cool Smiley to look out. Require a totally

new way of manufacturing the vehicle, but simpler and cheaper than car. I hate car. Yeah, car never changed since automobile invention. You have to drive with a crank, I think. I think they're called motion buggies. I tried to fly.

Oh, I see what happened with the Sm called Wilson buggies. It's the one the Red Brothers tried to fly. Yeah, that's the one. Oh, I see what happened with the smiley. It was supposed to be eight with the parentheses. No, we do not talk about eight. Eight's too cool for this. Yeah, we do not talk about eight. Nine. No bulky engine, so bulky... Sorry.

No bulky engine, no bulky transmission, no many components. So it's the Bloodstones car, then. Man, I'm getting really excited about this. Yeah, exactly. The Flintstones car doesn't run on gas. It's a magic alien box. It's a combination of five sources for power.

You need five. That's all the five passengers. Yeah. All right. Or three passengers, and one of them has one leg. Number ten. Due to lightweight, the vehicle will float and drive on water. Because that's how buoyancy works.

Doesn't it weigh 500 pounds? Sure. Okay, the Titanic weighed more than 500 pounds. It fucking floated. It weighed like double that almost. Right. Eleven. With the push of a button, the wings will open and take off for the sky.

I'm not sure how you're going to fly. So the wings will open, and then the wings will just fly off the car and make a front part. That's what I said. I paid extra for that. Come back, wings! Twelve, you can take off slash landing on land or water. Oh, okay. Thirteen, you can refuel that home. Sure, but we don't know what it runs on yet, so...

No, you can. It runs on not gasoline. No, you turn on the faucet and your five sources of power come out of it. I have tons of not gasoline right here in my home. 14, cost your fuel about 70% less than gasoline car. 70% less. No gasoline whatsoever. Right.

All right. So what does it run on? Oh, matches of power. You're right. My fault. My fault. 15. The vehicle is self-recharged while in user standstill. So all the time. While in user standstill. If you left it rolling down a hill, it would be a problem. So the vehicle's recharging as it's moving?

Then why do you need to recharge it at all? Number 16. This vehicle costs less than $15,000 to mass production. Okay. A piece? Number 17. Everybody can afford this car since it used no gasoline. Use the gasoline to make payment on the car.

Like, you just take your old gasoline? I would like to pay in gasoline, thank you. Oh, yes. Just throw the gasoline at the car dealership and threaten them with a match. Everyone can afford everything that doesn't use gasoline. That's true. That's why I have five horses. I pay for all my purchases in gasoline.

All right. Eighteen. This car is green because it doesn't use a lot of materials that use in current automobile. It uses green materials, like marshmallows. Shredded up cats. Number nineteen. Only take one second to destroy a car. Doesn't matter how much you pay.

In an earlier point, you said it was indestructible. No, a car. I mean, any other car. Yeah, you're destroying every other car ever made. Yeah, that's what happens to other cars on the road. This one takes two seconds. So it has like a self-destruct mechanism,

I'm assuming. It just takes a little while to warm up, like a whole second. 20. It fit takes a little while to warm up. Like a whole second. 20. It fit in your garage. Oh, good. I like that. In a car. 21.

Operating system by Android. Fuck you, I want Red Hat Linux. That's not... No, it's not capitalized, so it's an actual Android. Yeah, it's... But, yeah. Kill me. Fedora, die.

22. So many lives Fedora die. 22. So many lives will be saved. 23. No insurance will ever be needed. Okay, good. Get rid of mine just right now here. The list of advantages go on and on. This is like the T-model of the future,

but happen now. The technology is available now to build this vehicle. All I need is money to build the prototype. Roughly $100,000 this vehicle will drastically change for the better world. So this vehicle will drastically change once we have a better world. It's not really possible until

we get the better world. Yeah, I see. The $100,000 is for all the fairies he needs to catch to collect their valuable fairy dust to make the car. You only need enough money for 6.6 cars. Okay, yeah. Yeah, okay. So, let's see.

There's six of us in the podcast. We all pony up. You know. What? I think that'd be like $16,000. Yeah. No, excuse me. I'm buying this whole thing myself like $16,000. Yeah. No, excuse me. I'm buying this whole thing myself, getting it on the ground floor.

Yeah, yeah. That's cool. All right. Fair enough. We're going to move on to a post by WCultD in the voice of Stog. He has a white belt. He has four posts. And this is every idea he has ever had.

Oh, this is the... Yes! Shit. Every idea I've ever had. Oh, Stog. Oh, my God. Stog, you have a great responsibility here. Wake up. Go get breakfast. Every idea I've ever had by WColtD.

I invented the white belt, but I'm not going to tell you how. Excuse me. Number one. Salt strips. This idea is basically a strip made out of the caulk that you attach to your car. Inside the caulk is a bunch of salt crystals that melts

the road while you drive. It also reduces the surface area of the contact of the road so that there is increased pressure onto the road, allowing for more traction. Wait, it goes on the wheel? Goes on the tire? That's not how traction works. These caltrops suck. Hold on, I have to eat more Listerine.

It melts the road. Oh, okay, good. I feel like you'd have to attach this to the road. Yes. All you have to do is just do it the day before you go somewhere. You just got to go there first, right? You go there first and set it up. Yeah.

Maybe several months of preparation. Yeah, and then everything's great. Okay, that one may need a little work. How's this one? Number four, digging a canal into Africa and flooding low-lying areas of the Sahara Desert to reverse the process of desertification and increasing land values in Central Africa, also opening up more trade routes to counter mass poverty.

That's good. That's great. Where's the water coming from? I mean, just the canal? The free market. Africa. Africa. Thank you, Adam Smith. Here's another one. A bumper sticker I came up with for a few years ago with my dad's help.

Fighting the war on T-error. Oh, that's clever. Fighting the war on T-errors? Yeah, T-error. Terror. Get it? Terror. Like error, but like terror.

It's pretty funny. Terror. It's not as funny as that Africa thing. I mean, that shit's hilarious. Car starter capacitors. These capacitors store a charge so that even if you leave your lights on, your car will always start. All we need is to have

a perpetual motion machine inside of the poop-asseter. Yeah, we'll use an infinite source of energy and we're good. I have another one. A comedy group. Number 16. A comedy group that makes fun

of conspiracy theorists. That's an invention? That'll never fly. No, it's just an idea. Bumper sticker isn't theorists. That's an invention? That'll never fly. No, it's just an idea. Yeah. Bumper sticker is an invention. It's just an idea. It's every idea he's ever had.

Number 19. A language that is read as a series of shapes, one placed inside the other, each word read from the outside in. You don't have any more. Wow. So you'd have to, like, have paper.

You know what I love about language? It's ease of reading. You know what? We could turn sentences into Mastroka dolls. Those Russian Nesting dolls.

Yeah, I always thought English was way too easy to learn. First you start with the littlest word, and then you put the biggest, put it inside the second littlest word. I'm still working this out.

How about this one? The word cheddar bean. A word to describe someone who has putrid farts. He's a cheddar bean. Don't ever get trapped in the elevator with him after lunch. How would you write out cheddar bean in your new language? I'm curious. Okay, so I'd paint the letter C on the tiniest doll, then I'd put it inside a

bigger doll that has the letter H on it. Wait, so the first letter is the smallest one? Yeah, C is the smallest letter. I'm sorry, Stock, what was idea number five? Oh, idea number five.

A new idea for gravity, abandoning the standard notion of what a distance is, that it's something static when it should be conceived as an equilibrium. It incorporates every possible way a distance could be perceived. Lost? So am I. I'm still working this out. I don't care. That's good.

My problem with the gravitational constant is it's just too constant. I figured this out, by the way. I never figured this out. Hey, WCultD, I'd really like to know what number three is. Oh, number three? Oh, it's nothing. No, I want to hear it. Come on.

Sorry, I got a breath strip caught in my throat. Number three is using a huge magnetic cannon to launch satellites into space. Oh, okay. And number eleven? Did you guys get my list before? No, we just like these numbers a lot. Just randomly picking numbers.

I like numbers too. I like numbers too. Number eleven. My most recent idea is called Windline. Basically, the idea is to, instead of creating wind farms, put the wind power generators onto the power lines themselves, save a bunch of money because you don't have to build the towers and reduce the infrastructure costs. Put, like, a big windmill perched on top of a wire.

No, every one. So every electrical post, there's a windmill on top of a wire. No, every one. So every electrical post, there's a windmill on top of it. Because the problem is distance. Yeah. I'm a pretty big fan of the number that follows 11. I can't remember

what it is, but... I'm going to call it a two-wheel. Okay, nice. I like that. A tornado gun. The most improbable idea I'm going to call it a two-wheel. Okay, nice. I like that. A tornado gun. The most improbable idea I have ever had. It is basically

some sort of impeller fan jet that can make a little tornado in the air. Oh, okay. So I'm just kind of wondering what 15 is. 15? 15 is like 10 plus 5. Okay, well you're a knight in number 15 then.

Well that settles that. Portek, you owe me a dollar. Sorry, you were right. Oh, hold on. I think I associate this idea with the number 15. A plotline for a story that starts with one action and then it follows the consequences to the actions over a long span of time

eventually ending with the consequence coming back to original character oh so a plot yeah that's pretty much the definition of a plot well it started off saying a plotline this guy posted this a while ago so it's like maybe he came up with plots

maybe it was the first one. And action happens, and then there's consequences. I just want to say my favorite two numbers are 14 and 17. I have no reason for saying that. I just felt like just coming open with that. My most favorite number is 18. You'd notice this is the one I don't have on my list. I use it sparingly.

It's too precious to associate anything with it, yeah. But yeah, tell me about 14 and 17. Number 14 is starting a popular movement to end the Federal Reserve System by stamping messages on dollar bills. www.enderscorps.org Yeah, so the message is the Monopoly man looking surprised. You don't really like the Fed or currency, I guess. Anyway, what's 17?

17? I know. I know what it is. A method for valuing commodities by putting them in the context of other commodities instead of pricing them in dollars. Price them in practical terms, like one ounce of gold is equal to 505 gallons of gasoline. My God.

Because these other things won't be shifting around in value, so that's good, yeah. I like the idea of one ounce of gold being worth 505 gallons of gasoline. I'm going to power my car with gold more often. I'm going to power my car with gold more often. Or it's also equal to 14,936 miles in my car. It is equal to four months of food supply. It's equal to two months rent, that kind of thing.

Oh, I've got an idea for you on number 17. Okay, it's called money. What? What do you mean? No, money is crazy. It fluctuates in value all the, but all my money has a bunch of bullshit stamped on it. Yeah. That's what those green... It's just dumb. That's what those green portraits were.

Damn it, I should have left them. I'm eating those. I'm coming up with some sort of intermediary between gold and goods. It's called the tin currency system. I'm going to call it the tin standard. All right. Okay, anyway, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

So we're going to move away from Inventor Spot Forum, which is a great site, and there's plenty more. But we need to look at something else. So we're going to look at this site called A-Ha. It does have slightly better graphic design to it, so presumably it's going to be a better site. Let's find out. Portax, what's your idea?

It's the best idea. Oh, shit. Let's get this one. I have an idea, you guys. What's that? I thought of this idea and I said to myself, ah-ha! Right.

Yeah, you saw a hole in the market. You needed to fill it. I usually call it, Ah-ha! Thanks, Doc. You're welcome. I'm great. Stog, I would have sounded like an idiot when I pronounced it.

That's my job. All right. So, yeah, now, I'm not the only one here, but I was thinking maybe adult Batman bed sheets. Oh, damn. That's like to get a bottle. Yeah. Hang on, hang on.

Ryan Lawson probably has a twist on this idea. Yeah, so I've got a photo here of a bed with Batman braving the bulb bed sheets on it. Okay. And I had this problem that didn't exist, and my solution is, I've been searching everywhere for king or queen-sized comic book bedsheets.

I can't be the only one. So, I see. I have all my money. Idea stats. This idea has zero collaborators. This product does not exist. Here is a picture of it. That's not an adult.

That's a kid's bed. Yeah, that's a single. I mean, we all have circular rotating beds with a glass ceiling, and it just happens to have Batman bed sheets on. See, the thing is that me and my wife, who totally exists, want to sleep in the Batman bed. Yeah. What if I have a girl over?

What am I supposed to do? All right, look, Ryan, I think... Is she a pillow, by chance? Yeah. Ryan, I think that you made an invention that already exists again, and I will not stand for that. Let's move on to the next thing.

Bunny Bread, what's your product? Well... Okay. What's your name? My name is Oryptic. I don't know how to spell cryptic. Oryptic. So I was thinking, just, you know, trying to remember how to spell certain words like my own name.

And all of a sudden it struck me. I said, Aha! And? And all of a sudden it struck me. I said, aha! And I thought, what if get paid to post on social networks? See, that doesn't happen, and so it should. Now, my solution. I'm thinking of creating a site that connects business owners with people who use and can spread the word through social media.

The internet, if you will. I've heard of this. No, no, no, you've heard of something like it, sure, but I got it. I've heard of this internet and I understand there's a bubble. I like bubbles. Bubbles are very popular with children these days. Ah, oh, children. Let me, there we go, good.

Include children with idea somehow. Good, thank you. Anyway, flesh out your idea for me, will you please? Oh, I'm going to. I don't have any idea over the price or name of it yet, but it will have a variety of networks for owners who don't have the resources or time to promote their product themselves. I guess they can set requirements and demographics.

What do you think? Any ideas? Give them to me, and I'm going to take them for myself. Thanks. So you have a business, but you don't have the time to promote your business? Right. Kind of what I'm doing right here. He doesn't really know how it works yet. He doesn't really have a name.

It actually reminds me of the years that I spent as a freelance web designer where I would get approached by people who would say, I have this idea for a site. It doesn't exist yet, but I bought the domain name. How would you like 40% partnership? All you have to do is the work. But I spent the $9.99 on GoDaddy, so, you know, it's a collaborative effort.

So, MoneyBread's idea was a concept without a name. Frank West has an idea that clearly started with a name and worked backwards. Wait, worked backwards? Has he got less than a name? What the hell?

What's your idea, Christopher Gardner? Christopher Gardner. My idea is the military. Wow. Hold the line, sandwiches. Don't let the chicken wings get through! Okay, so tell... I'm sorry. Tell me more about your idea.

The military would be a high-cuisine-inspired mess hall. Diners would be greeted by sleek, military-outfitted staff and stark, ultra-clean surroundings. Possibly polished concrete to look like white marble. Mess hall type cafeteria. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, it's always like when a war breaks out, like, you remember

in Korea where they were like, oh, hey, the Korean War is starting. Let's get a bunch of masons down there. Why is that? I mean, when I think of war and the glory of war and just, like, what makes me want to enlist is the beautiful mess halls of the military. Yeah, it doesn't say it's a restaurant inspired by mess halls.

It looks like it's the other way around. We didn't spoil it, did we, frankly? No, I think you might have. Please continue. Mess hall type cafeteria service where diners help themselves on chrome-plated trays to line-cook served-up predetermined portions of high-cuisine food items along the service line. High-cuisine food items. You know what I hate most about fancy restaurants?

Being able to choose my own food. I hate it when a waiter brings it to me as well. It tends to my needs. And you can help yourself and the line cook serve it to you. You know what I really want out of a $200 plate meal restaurant? It's food from chafing dishes.

So it's just this high quality china that's painted with flowers and shit on it and in the middle is just a can of rations. Is that what's going on here? Yeah, but the finest can of rations. Oh, okay. The tray would be weighted at the end.

Tray would be weighted at end of line and cost established. Oh, okay. Okay. Sure, whatever. So you're free to get as much or as little of the one choice as you would like. Service personnel would float around

taking drink orders and keeping place Calvinistically spotless. Um, was John Calvin, like, notably fastidious? He means the kid that hangs out with the toy tiger. Yeah, he met Calvin. Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about

the French philosopher. No. Isn't it one and the same? Yes. Oh. If you just blown the lid off that, it's dog. Yay! This is a comic-based conspiracy of our time. Smaller franchise version of Mess Hall could be called Mule-ish. That's pretty good.

Posted by FrenchToast at... Featuring similar items of menu, a flagship military. New York City, Beverly Hills, or Tokyo. And before you laugh at my idea, I would like to point out it's the first one that has collaborators. That's true, you have two collaborators. I have two collaborators. Oh, shit. I, for one, am looking forward to Isfahan's comments in the episode.

Yeah, I'm sure that will be me, too. All right, all right, all right. Portex. Portex. Hi. You want to talk to us about a movie? First of all, I'm going to explain the picture that we're looking at. Which is...

I don't think it needs much explanation. What kind of dog is that, Portex? What kind of dog is that? It looks like a Bichon Fizet, maybe. A Bichon Fizet. Okay, so it's a Bichon Fizet that is dressed up like Liza Minnelli. That's the photo that we're looking at.

Not dressed up like. I believe this is Liza Minnelli in her upcoming movie where she turns into a dog. That is a low-cut top for a dog. Oh, that's the upcoming movie? All right, I want to watch that. It is a rather low-cut top.

I think it's pretty indecent. All right, all right. I'm Romanus Walter, and when I had this idea, I said, Aha! Aha! And my idea is to distribute an independent family dog movie that features dog dancing. Are you the dog in the avatar? I looked at Air Bud and I said, this just isn't silly enough, so...

Not enough dance numbers, really. I love Air Bud, I love Bollywood. The solution. The solution. Doggy Boogie dances into the hearts of its family audience as they cheer for a devoted Bichon pup, Peejo. He guides his owner, Cassie,

and her dog-dancing uncle, Peter Wolf, who I guess is a wolf, maybe? I'm not sure. Yeah. To unleash their potential, Cassie's teenage dreams of becoming a vet, which is capitalized, so I guess maybe a war vet, are crushed by her mother, who has become a slave to the world of personal injury law and is forcing Cassie to follow in the family legacy.

Projecting like a goddamn IMAX over here. Would you like to make partner? Bend over, bitch! Partner, bend over, bitch. Peter dreams of winning a national dog dance title, but is blocked by his guilt over a tragic dog dancing accident. The tragic dog dancing accident is when he was turned on to dog dancing. I can't dog dance anymore. Not since the incident.

Gertrude Spinner, a ten-time dog dance champion and keeper of the legendary dog dance Bible, which is way more interesting than the actual Bible. It's pretty much the same thing, actually, if you read it clearly. Jesus took bread and water and turned them all into dancing dogs and it was fucking awesome.

We'll now read from second Hollywood Chihuahua. Chihuahua! We'll do anything to stop them. Supported by a colorful cast and enchanting dogs, a Pidgeot learns the lessons of Barkanada.

Oh, Barkamanda. You might wonder what Barkbanana or whatever the fuck that was. It's healing bliss. Alright. To provide Cassie and Peter with a fresh start as they dance through the life's twists and turns.

Coming this never. Alright, so what do you think? Is it better or worse than Air Bud? Better I think actually if you did it ironically playing it straight, like if you got the best in show, mighty win people

I think it could work I mean, yeah I think I would watch it regardless I think it could work. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I think I would watch it regardless. I think that I would see on the Netflix list a movie called Doggy Boogie and just play kind of involuntarily.

What does my hand do? I'd like to see this idea not actually happen, but just trick the person into thinking it's happening and make a movie out of that. That would be good, too. I'm going to say better than Air Bud, but not as good as Most Extreme Primate.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Most Vertical Primate. Sorry, yeah, Most Vertical Primate. Well, no, that was the sequel. That was the sequel, yeah. Oh, really? Well, yeah, one of my friends worked in a video store. They had to write their own recommendations

for different movies and put stupid little notes on them. So MVP. Yeah, so for MVP he wrote down Does for monkeys on skateboards what Psycho did for showers. 10 out of 10. I was like, thank you. Funny bread.

No. I was noticing your buka beads. Puka beads? Is that what they're called? I forget. I don't really know what I call them. I just know I'm happy they're here. Anyway, I was noticing them.

I was also noticing your Oakley sunglasses. Oh, yeah, there is. And your Abercrombie everything. And it seems to me you want to talk to me about a website. I do, I do, I do. Sounds popular. Okay. Hey.

Hey. What's up? Yeah, I'm GJStokes, 20, you know, no big. Oh shit, the GJ Stokes. Yep. I'm going to talk to you about Fantasy Cloud Draft website, okay? If you are familiar with cloud.com, basically what it is,

is an analysis of your social media influence from Twitter, Facebook, Google+, maybe others not too sure. I don't know what any of the words I just wrote out are. You are scored on a variety of things, from influence to followers to content to retweets to other shit. Again, I'm utterly clueless here.

So, it is an all over, it is an overall score of your social media influence. Go to clout, comma, com to find out more. Clout.com didn't pay their bills for just a second there, so the site was down. Yeah, yeah, that squatted on. Leveraging clout.com, my idea is for a website where you can have a fantasy draft of celebrities athletes and influential people you would sign up to a free account this is how i make money okay you would set up a group like you would on yahoo fantasy or espn fantasy you would draft your players and you yourself would also be on the team, so you can influence the overall score.

There would be 11 positions to fill for each fantasy team. You can make trades, pick up free agents, do whatever the fuck you want. I'm not really going to follow through with this. So what players and what, exactly? Players and other players.

Of what? You do not understand me? Players of things. Players of the internet. Oh, you track their stats. What more do you need to know? Dog dancing. People who play.

God, do you know any English? So you play one person in the group per week, and you can set up how long you would like the fantasy season to play out. Based on the total number of cloud scores for each drafted player, are you following with me, Portax? Player? Shut up. And yourself would determine the winner for that week.

So the rules would be just like a fantasy football, baseball, or basketball, or ball ball tournament. You would also have tournaments by category. Major League Baseball, Nerf football, Not Booty Associated,

North American Assault Rifle, Celebrities, you know, etc. Another option on the site would be to have one-on-one club battles

between you and your friends where you can call another member out. That needs to be in quotes, because it's never been done before. I just made up that phrase. Call another person out. And battle them. So some sort of messaging

that's, like, instant? I wouldn't say instant. That's just way beyond what I'm thinking of right now. So you could have, like, you could have, like, Kevin you could have like Kevin Bacon square off against Kevin Bacon. This is clearly infringing on my

PokeCloud.com idea. Your wins and loses would be tallied both for fantasy and one-on-one. This would get many people involved in the spreading of valuable content and increase your overall presence in the social network arena. This is a fun way

to socialize as well, because you're talking and shit. You're calling each other out. By adding a little competition to your everyday networking. Because I don't know how you make friends, but I often just stomp on mine.

Fuck them. One of the best ways to make friends is to go up to someone and say, hey, I bet I'm more popular than you. I bet I could beat you on the internet in clout. I could win more friends and influence more people. To clarify, clout.com

is a website that takes Facebook and Twitter data and then tells you how popular you are, so it's just like a vanity exercise, which, by the way, 11 of my Facebook friends use. Jimmy Franks being one of them. What an asshole!

So this is a website, so Clout is a sort of hatch-on to Facebook to tell you how popular you are, and then this then apes that data to... I don't know. To measure how popular someone else is. Right, yeah, exactly. I want to know how popular someone else is.

Stog, remember that car idea that Boots had? Yeah. What about it? You were all like, I have a way better idea. Oh, yeah, I remember that one. I remember that idea, and I have a better idea. Okay, what's your better idea? My name is Jagadish.

This idea has one collaborator. I mean, it's not as popular as the military, but... Right. Nothing's ever going to be as popular. Nothing's more fucking popular than the military. Yeah. Military industrial complex. Anyway, my idea is manufacturing

sport car design cars with low cost. And then there's a picture of a kick-ass Lamborghini. Just look at that shit. So manufacturing that's specifically using your hands to

work out the algebra and the cost of the cars? Oh, stop it with dog. No, use fucking machines. Dog. Machines that fuck, and then the car comes out because it's a baby. You know how sports cars are like status symbols? What if we made them cheaper?

That would work. Yeah, precisely. Okay, so tell me about your idea. The solution. Hold on. I was screaming at the top of my lungs when I was writing, so hold on. Let me just... Just don't clip.

Everyone likes sport car, but they can't able to buy. The reason is cost will be very high. My point is we can develop the sports car with low of cost. I think a lot of them get by those cars. Jenny RJ drive car. Musical note on it. I had more on this, but I think I passed out from all the drinking. That was a hell of a yell you just did to pitch.

I mean, we understand if you've got to sit down now. Yeah. So, Boots, I, I'm sorry,

not Boots, E. Pierce. No, no. I noticed you were kind of looking through my windows. You seem to have a weird sort of smell about you. Is there something

you wanted to contribute? What? Is there something you wanted to contribute to this podcast? Well, yes. Well, yes. Well, yes. If I let you talk about your idea, will you go away?

Yeah. Yeah. Go on. Yes. I'm going to tell you about my home stool analyzer. Like a bar stool, right? A bar stool? That's not... Guys, it's a bar stool.

It's not... Six inches high. It's called a tape measurer. All right. All right. Here's called a tape measurer. All right. All right. Here's a solution. This stool analysis device attaches to your toilet and is capable of sending your doctor information, a photo, and video of your stool for analysis and health monitoring.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. All right. I don't my God. All right. I don't like this. All right. Wait. Does your doctor know this is happening? Or is he just suddenly...

Spilling his email. Flooded with these images. Oh, that's a real thing that happens. He sends it to his television while he's trying to watch. I've got a diagram that is kind of a rectangle with an antenna and a weird sort of pursed mouth. It looks like something James Bond would use if James Bond was a total pervert. This diagram shows one. It shows one, the home stool analyzer

and toilet bowl attachment. Two, the stool sampling arm motorized to take a fresh stool sample. And three, a high-def camera slash video camera. You want as much detail as possible, of course. Yes.

An accompanying iPhone slash Droid application wirelessly syncs data from the home store analyzer and sends the information to your doctor. Post it on your fucking Facebook. Your fucking clout account. That's a bonus. Your clout, so it rates your poops against others.

Now that's an idea. This finally gets us closer to RateMyPoop.com. As an extra bonus, I like to record multiple commentary tracks on my videos before I send them to my doctor. Have the commentary and the DVD extras. Boots, I've decided that I'm just going to give you all the creepy ones Oh, that is good So

This so far is the winner in collaborations Four collaborations for Brick Lane and his idea Jesus Nope Alright guys I've got a Okay, just be really quiet

Be really quiet here I've got to I've got a just okay okay just be really quiet be really quiet here okay I've got a I've got to type up my idea um I don't know why we have to be quiet but I'm sure that'll come

yeah but I you know we're here together in this basement so that I can tell you about this idea that I have okay

yeah why did you gather us all here uh yeah kidnap for hire staged kidnappings oh staged yeah yeah that's what this is right staged I mean we okay yeah that sounds kawaii Yeah, kidnap for hire. Staged kidnappings. Oh, staged. Yeah. Yeah, that's what this is, right?

Staged? I mean, okay. Yeah. That sounds kawaii. Yeah, if you see the second PowerPoint slide that we have here. I'm just going to run through these points just one by one here. Okay. Okay.

All right, people would pay money to get kidnapped. Yes. Sure they would. Yeah, their families! Pay ransom! Do you feel the need to say that? We all knew that. Go on. Yeah, click.

It could be for the adventure or just the rush of a lifetime. Yeah, clients would set the duration of the kidnapping so it could go down for a few hours or a few weeks. They wouldn't know when the kidnapping would go down as it could happen day or night.

You guys are still with me, okay, good. No, we're really, I mean, we are with you, but not of our own volition. Guys, the door's locked. Guys, he locked the door. We can't. It's okay, it's a brief presentation and afterwards there'll be several weeks in the trunk of a car. Oh.

I love it. You have one collaborator already. We've really thought this through. There are a lot of safety and legal concerns in opening such a business so I would like to ensure that every possible scenario is thought out prior to starting such a risky business.

I opened up the closet and a skeleton fell out. I really think we've got to try to find a way out of here. That was one of the collaborators. Let the man talk and finish his idea and then we can discuss the fake plans. Frank, I'm just not worried. I'm so worried about this. Don't be rude to the kidnapper. You can't make a good investment without taking a couple risks, alright?

Alright. So, first of all, safety words would be used by the client so that any time they can be released. You stop a safety word? But not really, because I put those in quotes. Is oh god

not my fingers a safety word? No. Okay. What about banana? No. There's a message written in blood here. It says there are no safety words. Go on. At least we have safety bars. There would be different levels of

pain. Oh dear! Going from something as harsh as the client actually being hit and punched to no physical contact whatsoever. Like, I'm not touching you. Just threats. You're just hurting his feelings. Can't sue me, I'm not touching you. It all depends on what the customer

wants to go through. Wants. Needs. So who's with me? Oh, all of us. Shit. It's okay, guys. I found a hacksaw. I just need to cut off my lens. I think there was something in those drinks he gave us, guys.

I just... Portax, S-Baxter-941. That might not work out so well, especially in a public setting. We're going to kidnap someone, take them away from society, is what I'm trying to say. Stog, Amber RH. Hey guys, I found this girl's mask on the floor.

I'm just going to put it on and do a funny voice. Maybe that'll make this all stop. Stog, Amber RH. Okay. My name, Amber RH. Okay. My name is Amber RH, and it sounds fun! Oh, gross, it tore in half.

Okay, Frank West, I'm leaving this up to you. This is your choice to make. Which of these two products would you like to make easier? Which of these two products just too difficult to make easier Which of these two products Just too difficult You want to make it easier On yourself and everyone else Twitter or a microwave

Well we have trouble with both of them They're so complex I long for the day that either Twitter Or a microwave is invented. I'm going to go with a microwave. Okay. Good. Well, yeah.

Tell me about your microwave idea then. Barcode or QR reader. Oh, wait. My name is CRX Pilot, and this is an idea that made me go, aha. Sure. Barcode or QR reader that cooks microwave meals for you hands-free. Okay. Like, I am tired of using my hands.

I'm me. Like, I'm sure you are. I'm tired of using my hands in the microwave. So the microwave is sentient, and it picks up your food, and it goes out and buys it for you. Oh, that's nice. The microwave is sentient, and it picks up your food. It goes out and buys it for you. Oh, that's nice. I'm tired of reaching my hands in the microwave, moving the food around, spinning it, heating it up with my hands.

Heating it with your hands. All those radiation burns. Getting your face really close. No, no, he does it with friction. He just rubs his hands together really fast. Oh, I see. Stuck my sandwich in my armpit. Totally, yep. hands together really fast. Oh, I see.

That's right. Stuck my sandwich in my armpit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Yep. So basically, the idea is in installing a small, simple barcode reader to the face of the microwave, and food manufacturers can print a barcode on their manufacturing containing the cooking instructions for a particular dish.

Okay. Because, you know, like, I don't like reading. I don't like typing in numbers, like three minutes. That takes too much time. Yeah. Clearly. I'm a busy man. I don't like typing in numbers, like, three minutes. That takes too much time. Yeah, clearly. I'm a busy man. I just want to hold a barcode up and scan it. This will make supermarket checkout easier.

You invent that, and I'll invent... Supermarket will cook the food for you. I'll invent the machine that holds the barcode up to the microwave. up to the microwave. The consumer places the food in the microwave and shuts the door. Then he simply waves the box in front of the scanner, and the food is cooked to perfection, no buttons pressed.

But wait, it's a lean cuisine that was cooked in a microwave. It wasn't cooked to perfection. It's fucking gross and rubbery. Demons love the smell of it. A certain subset of perfection. We have different ideas about perfection. It's fucking gross and rubbery. Demons love the smell of it. A certain subset of perfection. Okay, sure. We have different ideas about perfection.

Fair enough. Look, I'm willing to go a long way for no buttons pressed. I will eat a shoe if I don't have to press a button. I'm doing it. No guessing on the power level of your microwave.

No guessing on how long to cook. You don't have to guess! It's on the screen! It says cook in microwave for two minutes. I don't know what that means. That could be two minutes, that could be two hours. He's in all his jargon that I'm just not aware of. I've noticed that all my

friends look at the package and then they guess what to type into the microwave. It was all so easier before Stog rethought the idea of gravity. So it frees food manufacturers to offer many portion sizes instead of large, medium, small. We can now cook, like, a single grain of rice or just, like, enough to choke me to death. No, it doesn't. How does that work?

How does the QR reader know your exact portion? All of it. It can read your mind. I have to press a button to do that, don't I? Yeah, you do. Oh, no, no. You just have to think. Oh, no.

Anyway, what else you got? I'll figure this out. I'll figure this out. Butterball Turkey can have code to scan an affiliated cooking time. I'm going to cook a turkey in the microwave. You're going to cook a turkey in the microwave. I'm glad you're going to die of trichinosis.

That's a good thing. Eliminates much guesswork and extra keystrokes. I can't emphasize this enough. I hate buttons. I hate keys. I hate strokes. I hate extra. I hate guesswork. I like microwaves, though.

And scanner on microwaves or ovens to scan labels on food and tell the microwave or oven how to cook it. Small barcode or QR code on food items that contain only very basic information about cooking time and power level temperature. So if it's hands-free,

how are you holding up the box to the QR code for the microwave? Because Portax's invention helps it out. Yeah, my invention takes care of that. Yeah, you have to use another. So she needs backers first. I mean, I can't. It has to be hands-free. It has to be hands-free.

Well, now it's sort of a chicken-and-the-egg situation. Like, which product is going to come first? Well, it's kind of like how they invented the can opener before they invented the can. They were like, I love this thing, but what do I do with it? And then someone came up with the can. I was invented

in 1660. I don't have to get the car things into my arm, but... It's such a problem. Alright. Stock, you love your iPhone, don't you? Yeah, I love my iPhone. Hey, everybody. My name is Molly Clark, and I have an iOS car media system.

It has zero collaborators. Yeah. The solution. Unfortunately, I'm not an engineer, nor am I a code designer. Solution. Unfortunately, I'm not an engineer, nor am I a code designer. I'm an average individual who fortunately has had the opportunity to become one of the Apple's enthusiasts. Oh, that's fortunate. One of the select few.

I have been blessed by Steve Jobs himself on the mount of Apple. I own an i4s, an iPod, which is nil and void to the iPhone, an iPad 2, and a MacBook Pro. Thankfully, due to Apple's creation of iCloud, I am able to stream my music,

videos, documents, and applications to any device at any location provided an internet connection. If this was any other company, I would think that you were a corporate shill. However, during the weekday hours of 7am to 8am and 6pm to 7pm, I lack the luxury of having my iOS system available to me. Granted, I can use my phone via Bluetooth to make calls and listen to music,

but the process is not considered user-friendly. Siri on Beta Plus California's hands-free phone law equals no iOS luxury. Damn government. What? Oh, God.

Okay, yeah. So it's impossible for you to plug in your iPod. I'm just asking you how far California has stripped all your freedoms. But this iPod of yours, which is nil and void to the iPhone, as you mentioned, you can't actually...

Fuck it. All I know is that once we throw the government bums out of office, we will be able to have our freedom back again. Fuck it. All I know is that once we throw the government bums out of office, we will be able to have our freedom back again. Fuck yeah. Freedom to stare at your mobile device while you drive. Yeah, if I can't do that, I'm not going to make as many calls. And I need to make a lot of calls.

Doctor's orders. Yeah, because Frank Chip West chose wrong Now Twitter's still really complicated Yeah, I'm sorry guys But I heard Twitter had a lot of fucking buttons I'm not getting into that Alright, alright, what else you got? I would rejoice to see a product Created to integrate the user-friendly system

Of the iOS system Bluetooth capabilities And simple elegance of a touchscreen I have done my research, and there are some products that strive to come close, but none have succeeded in providing all three of these requirements.

I think research should really be in quotes, but that's cool. As I stated before, unfortunately, I am not the right person to see this plan through. Oh, that's a shame. So wait, so your idea is just to put a mobile phone on the dashboard? Yeah, and use Instagram with it.

You can do it like right now. I can take a picture of all the food I eat while driving. Yeah. And tweet it to your microwave. I want to take curbside hot dogs, and I want to make them look like they were invented in the 1880s. Sure, we all do. There's got to be a better way.

As I stated before, unfortunately, I am not the right person to see this plan through. I, however, have a wish. An ah! Ah! And if my vision might... Oh my god, we're gonna kill Stog. Jesus Christ, Stog. Sorry, I swallowed a cigarette.

While driving. She's typing this while driving. Right. Is read by one who will be inspired to take on such creation or deployment, then my claimant idea was worth every word. Well, that was a lot of work that you had, typing up all of those things. Yeah. It was a lot of work.

Have you ever tried typing on the iPad with your feet? Have you ever tried typing hands-free? I can't use my phone while I drive. Somebody let me use my phone while I drive? Can I drive just a giant phone?

Things aren't quite clicking. She's like, phone while drive? Why not? Why not make phone drive? Phone drive? Why not make? They don't let you do that because it's not safe. I don't...

Phone drive? Who is driving? Phone is driving. How can this be? I have so many preconceived notions about Apple enthusiasts, and Molly Clark has helpfully stepped up and filled every single one. Molly Clark, in addition to creating

that terrific idea, also is a supporter of another idea. Now, this is not Kickstarter. This is AHA! So you don't actually have to do anything. You just click a button to say it's a good idea and that makes you a collaborator.

Sorry, I'm not a still button. So for the iOS car media system, no one could even be bothered to just click a button. But anyway, Molly Clark clicked a button on this idea, which Bunny Bread will describe to us. Yeah, all right. That is not a self-portrait. A pillow that always stays cold or cool. Hmm? You ever think about that?

What, just like put it in the freezer? It's got sunglasses on. No, no, it always stays cold and cool. Yeah, it's always like wearing a leather jacket and slicking its hair back. I've just been sleeping in a tub of ice, so I'd love an easier sleep. You need a pillow for that, you dumb shit. You're going to get a crick in your neck. I just spray down my bed with cold water before I go to sleep.

No, Stog, you wet the bed, okay? You can say it. All right, tell me more about your product. Oh, okay. So anyways. Because I'm sure that there's so much more to say. Pillow, pillow, pillow. Pillow.

Honestly, yeah, never mind. I think you pretty much covered it. Excuse me, excuse me. I'm looking at the text and that, yeah, never mind. I think you pretty much covered it. Excuse me, excuse me. I'm looking at the text and that, yeah. That was just the mission statement. The skit was more informative than the... They should just copy

and paste that little back and forth in there. The cold side of the pillow is always the most... No, no, no, seriously. I think you actually actually covered in it. Besides, I found another product that fits in with Boots' casting for the day. Shit. What?

What? Oh, boy. So, Maurice Logic identifies both a problem and a solution. So, Maurice Logic identifies both a problem and a solution. Yeah, Maurice Logic. How's it going? Yeah. I'm glad you're out of prison.

Yeah. Beat it, mugs. All right. Okay, boss. This is my portable naughty chair. It looks like an ironing board that you fuck. And looks like an ironing board that you fuck. And it's an ironing board that you fuck. Alright, donate, done.

The problem, I have an ironing board, but it's a real frigid little bitch. Now, I got my ironing board drunk. Okay. Uh, we're gonna start with a problem. Okay. We're going to start with a problem. Okay. My wife and I, we use a naughty time-out chair to discipline our daughter. Wait, what?

Oh! Keep going. Keep going. This is either worse or better. I'm not sure. This way, I... Sorry, I blacked out for a second there. I thought I was on a different site.

All right. It's not where I thought this was going. Go on. My wife and I, we use a naughty time-out chair to discipline our daughter when we're at home. However, whenever we go out to dinner or shopping and our daughter misbehaves, we don't have a tool that our daughter recognizes as a discipline mechanism

which persuades her to behave. I like how not fucked up I'm sure your daughter is. Here's a solution. She's only good when she can physically see a punishment. Go sit in that chair. Okay, I'm fine with that. That doesn't look like the punishment chair.

Here's a solution. It's a naughty chair. Folds up. Ands can be carried around like an umbrella. Oh my god. It can be used to threaten. Oh my god! Or actually use when you are out and about.

Oh my god! So you're actually waving the naughty chair at your daughter. So like... So seriously... Oh my god! So you're actually waving the naughty chair at your daughter. Don't let me unfurl the naughty chair. Holy Jesus, fuck. Why don't I just invent a sign that says, I'm a little bitch kid, and you have to wear it around your neck any time you're outside,

you're acting like a little bitch kid. Oh, because that would screw up the kid, that's why. Yeah, that's fucked up. That is bad parenting, Portax. Seriously. People who fucking step on my turf get a face-to-face meeting with the naughty chair, right? All right. Let's have a raise of hands.

Who here feels that Portax's children should be taken away from her right now? No! Me, me. Not Alhard Varkos. And Nostradamus. They're like my babies. I think. I found them somewhere.

They're like my babies. I told them they're like my babies to me. Now I think about it. Everything is going up. Everything is going as planned, yeah. Everything moves along. Everything is fine, fine, fine. And there we go. We're at about an hour of million-dollar ideas in bitcoins. Boots, what did you learn this week?

What I learned is Matt Crowe, the founder of the site, he has about a billion bad ideas on here, but half the ideas are his, and they're all terrible. And I think it's amazing that he actually made it past the idea to make the site of AHA.com. It's true. I mean, there's actually, I mean, outside of the stupidity of the users of AHA,

I mean, there's another episode's worth of material in the, like, the foundation of AHA, the people responsible for it. There apparently is a CEO, a CFO, a director of development, a VP of finance, a director of monetization. And at the end of it, what you have is a site where people go type in a form field and the search bar doesn't work. Yeah, it's a site that can't possibly succeed at doing anything. Well, it's a site. I mean, the domain works. But it does exist as the only thing about the site that is actually an idea realized.

So you've got to give them kudos for that. I do. I do. Because, yeah, somehow Matt Crowe went, I want to make a website. And then a website came out of that against really all odds. Yeah, yeah. It's unbelievable, really. Yeah, yeah.

And, you know, he can pat himself on the back for the ability to log in with a Facebook account. So, you know, good job with the shit that's available at a click. Yeah. The website, as always, thefpl.us. is the FPL dot us. We're going to have in addition to all of the links of the stuff that we read, a number of links to plenty of other stuff that we did not read.

There's a lot of fun stuff left out. And also the new community ball pits. That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T. Yeah. Come play in our balls. Come play in our balls. Come play in our balls? It's in our pit. That's gross.

We have a better slogan than that. I'm out of here. Goodbye! Goodbye! Yeah, my thing is fine, fine, fine. Yeah, my thing is fine, fine, fine. Yeah, my thing is fine, fine, fine. Fine, fine, fine. Fine, fine, fine. Fine, fine, fine.

Fine, fine, fine. Fine, fine, fine. I just want to quickly touch on this, because the same guy has the idea of glowing paint. You know, like maybe if, like, you say, I don't know, maybe radium would work? If we made, like, paint, put radium in it, and it would glow, and then everyone would feel safe and happy.

That would, yeah, that would give me the warm glow of safety. Yeah, because nobody would die from cancer. I just, I love the first sentence of your problem, which is, paint can only be seen during the day. That's a post-modern book title right there. I can't go to sleep at night unless I feel my DNA being changed right on the spot. We should make glow-in-the-dark nights.

Ooh.