The F Plus - live4b: F Plus Live 4 | Part Two

Episode Date: October 25, 2015

Part two goes to different places as we invite the lads from I Don't Even Own A Television to read what they've found. Also, while Adam Bozarth and Nutshell Gulag couldn't make it to the live show, they were kind enough to put together video packages in their stead. Lastly, there's a scene for a detective show (?) and STOG plays a dog. This one has a two remote segments that only exist in the YouTube playlist. Part Two Contains Nutshell Gulag cooks something (video only) Adam Bozarth I Want To Be Banksy (video only) bumpgrrl I Just Walk Away by MadHat886 Chris Collision The Worst Days: Part One by Jared E. Smith J W Friedman Enter the Wutang Clan by MrVoltz The Not Ready For YouTube Players: My Dark Dreams by Tony Clementz

How we doing tonight? How we doing? If you were to say, to compare how you're doing now with how you were doing, you know, an hour and a half ago. An hour and a half ago sucked, right? This is way better, right? If you hate life, you'll love this. Here comes Bump Girl! Bump Girl! Bump Girl is reading a piece that I believe involves My Little Pony in some way. Am I right about that?

I am right about that. Jesus Christ. Alright, here we go. Bump Girl! This one goes out to the bronies that I love. I just walk away. A spotlight on a dark stage.

Turn on, showing a young boy standing underneath the light, his face looking downward. My name is Naruto. I used to be a ninja, even with the village abusing me for having the demons sealed within me. I kept on trying to be something other than that, but in the end all the village and the people I used to think cared about me

only saw me as a weapon in the end, no matter how badly I was treated, they would always expect me to just forgive them and save them, while never making up for anything they have done to me. For I'm just a weapon to them, and always be to their eyes. That's why I walk away. A second light came on, showing two teenage girls standing side by side. One is a redhead, the other with purple hair. Both of them look downwards. My name is Twilight, the purple-haired one said. My name is Sunset, the redhead said. We used to be students under the Princess of the Sun. Both of us were just part of her plan, both said.

I was the first. I did everything she asked of me, but it was never enough for her. Then she showed me a mirror and didn't like what I saw within. Instead of explaining it to me, like this fic will never explain to you, she continued to be a stealth mentor. I tried to learn dark magic, but she stopped me and would have thrown me aside if I didn't escape into the mirror, Sunset said. I was the second.

Learning from her mistake, she did a better job of being mentor to me. I was trained to be the one who would gather friends to use the elements to free her lost sister from the darkness, as Sunset would have done if it had gone above her to do her plan, after my friends abandoned me for a wedding for an imposter. I found the mirror. Don't worry about that. I found the mirror and met the one who I replaced. We were both tools to use as she pleased, shaping us to be her perfect tool to defend her other subjects while never caring about us.

That's why we walk away. No more, Nanotra said, looking up. No more, Sunset said, looking up. No more, Twilight said, looking up. We all walk away once we realize what was always planned for us. All three said, to be a weapon. Now we say, to be a tool. To be a replacement. Twilight said, this is our story. And how we met each other and others who just look like us just walk away.

All trying to find a better place, for we're no longer bound to the story that is written for us. All we said. Okay, so, time passes. Both of them teleported to the castle of the two sisters, left in ruins after it was abandoned by the princess after she banished her sister to the moon. That's just how Twilight last saw it from the last time that she was there. They entered the castle and made their way inside of it

until they found the stairs to the lower levels. But they noticed that there are signs that someone had been living in the castle. The signs were there. The torches that had been burning and the dusty hoof prints. They used their horns, yes, that's a good thing, to make light to see where they're going. Behind them, the pony that's been living in the castle follows them. How are we going to pass that?

Twilight asked, seeing the big door at the bottom of the staircase. She probed it with her magic and saw layers of magic protecting it. That door can only be opened by the lock with a large keyhole. One thing I have learned is that while something is protected one way, it's not protected by another, Sunset said, as she pulled out a metal-type bomb she made in case she needed to blast something open. What's that? Twilight asked, watching as Sunset placed it inside the keyhole.

Think of a firecracker, but with a bigger blast, Sunset did, as she pulled Twilight with her back up the stairs. Once they were out of the blast range, she magically lit the fuse and waited with a shield spell in front of them for added protection. Twilight yet out of yelp of fright as the homemade bomb went off. The shield protected both of them, but it also caused the pony who had been following them to lose her footing and rolled down the stairs. The pony rolled into them, causing them to roll down the stairs, hitting the door at the bottom that is now wide open as the lock was completely destroyed by the blast. Are you, Twilight began to ask, but saw who is the one who rolled into them.

Trixie? Yes, it's Trixie, the great and powerful, Trixie said as she got up. You know her, Sunsight asked. Yes, but I haven't seen her since she came to town for a show she put on, Twilight said. After which, thanks to your friends heckling me and spreading the story, I couldn't put up a show anywhere since my reputation was smeared. I was forced to work on a rock farm before I come upon this castle and made myself home, Trixie said. They're not much friends. Wait, is this not making sense? Sorry, sorry, I promise it's going to get better, okay.

So you two are just going to abandon everything to start a new Trixie app? There's no point in staying here, Twilight said. Sunset opened a portal to another world, and as one, the three stepped through. They found themselves in an alleyway, but they are no longer ponies but humans, as Sunset told them what she turned into while in the other world. But to Sunset's surprise surprise as she looks down on herself her skin tone wasn't what it was in the human world. Looking at the other two she saw neither have the skin tones of their coats

as they were ponies either. So this is a human? Twilight said as she looks at both Sunset and Trixie walking on two legs was something that's going to take some getting used to? She does wonders where the clothes they're wearing come from. So this is what hands are like, Trixie said as she works her new hands. And looking at her fingers, yes, but something is strange about this place. We should have the skin tones of what our coat colors were, as Pony Sunset said,

as she waited for them to get used to their new bodies. In the new world, stepping through the portal, the three ended up in a city in Japan of the world they found themselves in. They had used sunset's hover drone she had brought to search the world first to make sure it's safe before going through. All right, this translation spell will allow us to talk and understand Japanese, Twilight said. Good, it will be helpful once we start a world tour, Trixie said, wanting to see what this world is like. We just have to make sure our American money can be exchanged in this world, Sunset said. Well, we could go and steal using our magic, Trixie said.

Hey, you can't do that, Twilight said. Twilight, one thing you have to understand is while breaking the law is bad, sometimes you have to do it to survive. Sunset said, remembering how she had to steal things to survive in the human world when she came first to that world. Only if you have to. Besides, this is Japan where Twilight began. you have to. Besides, this is Japan where Twilight began. But stop, as the body of a beautiful young woman who looks to be a year or three older than them fell in front of them, and she is badly hurt from the fall, and she has wounds covering her body. She has reddish-brown hair that, while a bit messy, is very silky along with a yellow ribbon in her hair. She's wearing white stockings and a blue and wild half-cut kimono around her shapely body.

The bottom part is cut at the splits all the way to her hips, so it reveals her shapely and long legs. Actually, it's more like flaps that are at the front and the back, and that's it. A short sword hung from her back, and she's wearing blue boots that are actually ankle guards and blue arm guards. There's a white collar around her back, and she's wearing blue boots that are actually ankle guards and blue arm guards. There's a white collar around her neck, but what caught their attention the most was the fact that her body was something out of a male teenager's wet dream. How many Tartarus do I need?

Like those comics and video game scenes that are busty with melon-sized breasts. All three of them had learned that such a figure is a sign of great beauty among females. Which Sunset had already learned and taught that fact to her two friends. All three of them have a thin body type and a small chest type. A group of ten ninjas leaped down from the rooftop where the young woman came falling from. Don't interfere. This is none of your business, the leader of the group said. Oh great, this place has ninjas.

Twilight then panned. Wait, I know this! Trixie spoke up. That's the runaway ninja Kasumi from the Dead or Alive games. Yeah! Of course! Yay! Why not? Kasumi from the Dead or Alive games. Oh great, it's going to be like that, Sunset said, having seen enough shows where people ended up in a fictional world to know where this is heading for. Well, there is only one thing to do, Twilight said as she sees the ninjas pointing their

wettestens at them. Let's get them, girls! Trixie smiled as she and her friends' hands flowed. They prepared to cast their magic on the ninjas who stepped back, seeing the display of energy. Who are you three, the leader asked, seeing the three young women's hands flowing but feeling no ki coming from them. We're the Horizons, Sunset said, casting fireballs and they proceeded to gasp. So now Kasumi is going to wake up in a hotel in America. So peeking, she saw, and actually it's

kind of the sexual kind of peeking, but they didn't realize that, I don't think. She saw a blue-haired young woman watching the TV. The front door of the room opened and two more women came in, a redhead and a purple one in their back, blah, blah, blah, blah. Did you and Sunset also brought Kasumi some clothes? She can't walk around with that revealing outfit, Trixie asked. Yes, we did, but finding a bra for her was tougher since Twilight wanted to find a pretty one instead of one that just fits. Well, all the magazines I have read told how important it is for women to look nice, so I wanted to get her pretty one instead of one that just fits. Well, all the magazines I have read

told how important it is for women to look nice, so I wanted to get her something nice to wear. We just needed something to keep her breasts from bouncing around, not to lure in men. She wanted to go to a Veronica's Secret store. Besides seeing that she wasn't wearing one doesn't seem to care about wearing bras, Sunset said. I don't get how she's able to move around with those meat bags bouncing around on her chest, Trixie said as she looked down to her own chest. While not that big, they were perfect for her figure, she reminds herself. How in the hell has she never hit herself in the face with them? I have been wondering that as well, she pulls out Kasumi's ninja outfit.

All she were wearing were panties and this. With someone her size, she shouldn't have been able to move or fight the way she does with toes on her chest. And that I had to give her my shirt, which is now all stretched out by now. And that I had to give her my shirt, which is now all stretched out by now. Okay, so the boobs, they only work because she doesn't have shame and she uses them to slash men. She has back pains. And Kasumi says, yes, you're right. This is something I learned in ninja training.

Kasumi said, stepping out from where she was standing, making the three younger women to stop talking. She has a slight blush on her face, hearing them talk about her chest. And what is this about me being in a video game? Oh, boy. Twilight said, sharing looks with both Trixie and Sunset. It goes on to explain that breasts are used as ballast. So for all the women who are wondering out there why, of a leaf and iron speaking, we have breasts,

it's because they're for ballast. That's why there's so many large breast women on pirate ships? Bump Girl! Bump Girl! So I'm going to assume that some of you have heard of this podcast called BF Plus. Well, hang on, hang on. Because, uh... Well, hang on, hang on.

Because... You're welcome to leave. I mean, to be fair, they could have said WTF. All right, but some of you are familiar with the podcast. I will say that these two people right here are unfamiliar with the podcast. And more importantly, they're still fucking here. We'll spare you the one of us chance. But there's another terrific podcast that exists on the internet,

and it is called I Don't Even Own a Television. This is a terrific, terrific show run by J.W. Friedman and Chris Collision. And the moment that I was on that show, my immediate thought is, why don't I hang out with these guys? This is exactly the kind of guys that I hang out with.

And so we're going to bring up Chris Collision up here to the stage. Scream for me, Minneapolis. Scream for me, Minneapolis! So yeah, let's start with a little bit of context. The piece I'm going to be reading comes from what I think is inarguably the most influential, beautiful, and inspiring piece of mass market speculative fiction ever. The vision was optimistic. It showed us that a much, much better world could be ours.

All we have to do is hold ourselves to the standards that we claim to have. And the characters, you can't say enough about the characters. The characters were thrilling. They were ambitious, passionate people. And they were brought unforgettably to life by actors as talented and charismatic as they were sexually compelling. So, obviously I'm talking about Star Trek. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.

Voyager. Voyager. This story is called The Worst Days, colon, part one. It's not clear to me that there are parts after part one. It was something over 20,000 words long when I encountered it. I've had to cut it down pretty considerably, so you're going to notice some jarring transitions. Anyway, let's get started. This story takes place in the beginning of the seventh season. A couple of months after Unimatic's Zero and about a year into my own story called Colon

Talon. The screenplay of Talon takes place 20 years later, comma, than this story. The Worst Days Part 1 NC-17 written in May-July 01 by Jared E. Smith. Planet Axion 2. A long line of people chained to each other are walking toward an enormous mountain in the east. They are of different age, sex, and species, pasting hard-crossed terrain on their way to what the inhabitants are calling Merska Hell Hell where they are going to work in the mines until they die. Centurion guards are making sure

that their new prisoners are walking along kindly. Among the new prisoners is a human named Colin Chakotay. Chapter 1 Among the new prisoners is a human named Chakotay. Chapter One, Prisoners Janeway rushed through the crowded streets of the capital city, her heart pounding in her ears and the sounds of the pursuing centurions close behind her. She turned sharply into an alleyway between two tall buildings, ignoring the yells of protest from the street vendors.

Pausing for a moment at the end of the alley, she leans against the wall, panting. So we've just vaulted into the present. Checking her phaser charge, she fires a few shots into her pursuers before continuing her flight. Suddenly, Janeway stops when she sees a centurion pasting, blocking the only escape path. Captain Catherine Janeways, plural, eyes, plural, darkens, plural. She is noticing a stick on the ground. She picks it up, and with a steady grip, she rushes toward the centurion, who noticed nothing. When Janeway is close enough, she takes a swing, hitting the centurion hard, making his golden helmet fall off. The big man hit

the ground with a hard thud. Plural. She drops the stick, leans over to pick up the centurion's riffle, when another centurion comes up behind her. He raises his riffle, and hits Catherine on the backside of head, knocking her out. Oh no!

Sorry. When she is beginning to weak up, she is noticing that she is being carried away by two centurions. She can see and hear the people of the city. They are disappointed in calling her names. I hope that you will die, a slow a slow-death earthling, roars a civilian. Voyager, what a help, grunts another. Janeway is trying to cut loose from the two centurions that are holding her between them. One of the them are opening a cage on a transport vehicle. He pushes Catherine Janeway inside.

Then he locks the CAJ door. Now Catherine knows how it must feel to be an animal when it has been captured. She is trying to open the lock on the door, but it gives her a shock. After an hour, they have arrived. The CAJ that Janeway is locked up in is falling apart when the Centurions have parked. Catherine takes this opportunity to try to escape, but it fails when the Centurion that is waiting grabs her neck and pushes her to the ground. Catherine managed to escape from the evil lord that rules the planet a few days ago, and now she

is brought back. Lord Namro G'Cler, colon, a ruthless man who reminds of a Chinnies, that's chins with an E, a ruthless man who reminds of a Chinnies emperor with big eyes, long black hair, and dressed in animal skin pants, jacket, and a thicker harness of mardric skin. A mardric is a bull-liked animal. Bulls like him. Namro is smiling when his centurions are dragging Janeway up to him and

forcing her to bend down on her knees. The mean man is walking down to her from his throne. Captain Janeway is looking up at him this is the way that he wants it he wants the people to look up to him in fear I forget how we were saying this scene change

regarding your crew, the females, the Klingon. Centurion, what time is it? Three verks on past Jerdson, my lord. The Centurion answers, parentheses, 1445. Hmm. Either she is tortured for information or my centurions are having fun with her. Having fun, Janeway's plural eyes darkens.

Janeway's plural eyes darkens. G'kur is walking towards a great door on the left side. The centurions are dragging Janeway along. A really nice walking door. A fantastic door. Inside, they are stooping.

They are standing on a balcony with armored glass below them are a huge room with some tables sofas and a few mattresses uh quick break i had read this like four times pity me before i finally realized that madresses... It's mattresses. You're saying they're not just angry dresses. Right, yeah. As I was, so you are. As you are, so I will be. Anyway.

Five centurions are in the room laughing out loud. A door on the other side of the room slides open and someone enters. Catherine Janeway can only see that it is a woman who is naked. Balana, no! Janeway cries, pounding the glass. Then she turns around, facing the Lord. She hits him over the face with a flat hand. You bastard, how can you do this to her?

Gakur is grabbing the captain around her shoulders. He is leaning forward, speaking softly into her left ear. This could happen to you, Toe, dot, dot, dot. Unless you cooperates with me. And if you hit me again, I'll kill you. Catherine Janeway is closing her eyes. Then she agrees with him. All right, jerk.

Have it your way. Just stop this. Scene change. Janeway is closing her eyes. She doesn't want to do this. But she has no choice. If she doesn't, her crew will die. Nadria is letting her gown fall. She is completely naked in front of Catherine. The girl kisses Janeway on the lips. She kisses back. Nadria helps Catherine up with the red gown. Then she is laying her down, kissing her more and more intimate, doing so for about half an hour. The girl slowly crawls down to Catherine's breasts and begins to suck gently on the nipples. Janeway is, after

a few minutes, starting to breathe heavily. Working her way down, Nadria is kissing the the legs, and finally the hypogastrium, which is somewhere around here. I asked a doctor. Till her partner starts to clatter. Ladies, the more Catherine is clattering, the more intense the girl is working with her tongue, T-U-N-G. While working, she injects a shot into Catherine. Until Catherine is almost screaming when she comes. When Dunn, John Dunn, capital D-U-N-N-E, she kisses Catherine again, then it's her turn. Kathy kisses the girl gently over her neck and breast while caressing her hypogastrium. Yeah!

The girl is twisting and turning when she comes. When finished, they are laying snuggling for a few hours. The next morning, Janeway is standing on the balcony, admires the view of the city when Nadria comes up to her. Janeway is looking at her, comma, smiling. Nadria is putting her arms around Janeway's plural waist. What are you thinking about? So, here's

a bad guy you've never heard of, but I read the thing, and I'm not sure I'd ever heard of him before either. This is the bad guy's little monologue. The climactic scene of... The fuck ever this was called. The Voyager, colon, must be destroyed now or my life is in deep trouble, Lador mumbles when he is hurrying down the small stairs to the basement. There he is opening a door to a small room.

Inside there are many riffles and sticks lying on shelves. He grabs a riffle, then he is hurrying into another room, where he picks up some explosives. Afterwards the Argonian is running to a ship that is waiting for him in the backyard. At the same time, the humans along with the Axians are fighting as bravely as they can. It's not easy when you're outnumbered, when the situation seems like it can't get any better. It looks like it's going to be worth. A gigantic shadow is swooping over the city. Janeway is checking her phaser colon empty. She is checking the others as well. They are almost on empty toe.

Catherine is turning to Chakotay. Well, my Indian friend, it looks like our journey ends here. And my journey ends here. Chris Collision. Chris Collision! Chris Collision! And my journey ends here. But our journey is not over.

But coming up next to the stage, his name is J.W. Friedman. J.W. Friedman. J.W. Friedman is a professional rapper, and that is why you are about to hear fan fiction about the Wu-Tang Clan. J.W. Friedman! Hello! I wasn't going to give it away,

but there's maybe a few more elements in here you may not expect. Please remember, I did not write this. Hey, I'm from San Francisco. This may get me kicked out of the city. Miranda climbed to the top of the fire escape to a condemned building Mr. Hughes had described in an email to her. Her eyes were red from the crying on the way over.

She knew that going in distracted or emotional conflicted was a bad idea, but she needed something to distract her from her fight with Raphael and Leonardo. She reached the top and was surprised to see someone else was there. Who are you? Where's Mr. Hughes?

Miranda said. Yeah, the Ninja Turtles are in this too. Okay. Alright. So, who are you? Where's Mr. Hughes? Miranda said. He was caught up at a meeting, so he sent me. My name is Wesley. I'm Mr. Hughes' private bodyguard. I was the one who spied on your meeting a week ago with a sniper rifle aimed at you.

Wesley said matter-of-factly, huh you got good eyes, Miranda said slowly walking up to him as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and held them up to her calmly. Don't mind if I do, Miranda said accepting one and putting it between her lips as she lit it up and deeply inhaled. That is how cigarettes work. So, how did Mr. Hughes buy you? I was being held in a Chinese prison for nearly ten years before Mr. Hughes bought my freedom and he employed me to handle his dirty work, Wesley said calmly. Miranda looked at him as she inhaled the cigarette again.

Once again, that's how they work. Considering the night she was having, she needed this cigarette badly. Huh, looks like your boss has a good eye for talent, Miranda said. She started to feel her lack-faux sleep coming over her. She willed herself to stay awake. Well, I've got good eyes for beautiful women, Wesley said. Miranda rolled her eyes. Please, I've had a rough night. I'm in no mood for flirting. Just tell me where I can find the Wu-Tang Clan's headquarters. Miranda said in a low tone as she inhaled the remainder of the cigarette. Of course, their headquarters change all the time, but their main base of operations is someplace called the 36th Chamber. Here, this file should tell you all you need to know, Wesley said, handing a manila folder to Miranda.

Miranda took it from him. Thanks. She turned around and began to flip through the rather thin folder. Flicking the cigarette to the side, she looked through it to find nothing but a few sheets of paper that said, Surprise! Is this some kind of joke? No, but you probably won't be laughing soon, Wesley said as Miranda felt the pangs of drowsiness again and she found she couldn't fight it. She dropped the folder and all of the dummy papers as she began to feel disoriented.

She tried to eat herself standing, but she felt as though her body was getting heavier and heavier. She stumbled around for a bit, placing her hand on her head as she groaned. What did you do to me? Miranda slurred as she fell to her knees close to the cigarette butt she had flicked to the side as she grabbed it in her fingers and examined it closely despite her vision starting to blur. Son of a bitch! You drugged me! You know, smoking is bad for you. Wesley said darkly

as Miranda's dizziness began to worsen her vision blurred as she saw several killer bees looping onto the roof as Wesley walked over to her he grabbed her hair and held her up to his face fuck Mr. Hughes Wu-Tang forever um

scene change. Miranda eventually felt her mind finally waking up as she slowly began to open her eyes, giving a soft groan as her vision slowly returned as she rose her head. She was sitting down, she could tell that much. The blurriness in her vision subsided as she looked at her location. She was inside some small room that was no bigger than a bedroom, though without a bed. The walls had some sort of red-painted flocks of birds that seemed to try to fly around the room, and the dead center was a large yellow bird, the symbol of the Wu-Tang Clan. No, it's fucking not. That's a W. Jesus. Miranda then looked to her left and saw a man looking through her things,

looking at her jacket and her sword. Aha! You're finally awake, he said. He stepped into the light as Miranda felt horror shoot through her nerves as she immediately recognized this man from the photographs of Wu-Tang, Charles and Shoner. Oh, old dirty bastard, Miranda growled softly as he grinned, showing his disgusting teeth. So you have heard of me. Good, the old dirty bastard, Miranda growled softly as he grinned, showing his disgusting teeth. So you have heard of me. Good, the old dirty bastard said. He moved close to Miranda. His stench was horrid. Miranda could have gagged as he smelled her neck. I love your smell, the smell of virgin flesh. He moved

back as he licked her lips. I can remedy that. Oh, yes. Sorry. No, Miranda shouted as he forced his tongue into her mouth this is awful but it stopped soon i promise oh god it was disgusting and slimy she was ready to bark but she wasn't gonna let handcuffs stop her she groaned to disgust before she bit down on the intruder's tongue making him let go of her head as he yelled out in pain the old dirty bastard said with his tongue out of his mouth he looked at her in. Clearly no one had ever tried that when he forced himself upon them. Anger grew in his eyes as he drew a knife and held it up to her neck. I'll pick you with... Ophiris!

A voice called from behind as the old dirty bastard stopped. Standing in the doorway stood a figure with a dark robe. The Wu-Tang burnt... No. All across his chest and of the robe, though the wings spread to the side and the tips reached to the bottom of the robe. Mathful RZA, he bit my tongue, the old dirty bastard said while his injured tongue hang out.

RZA, spelled R-I-Z-Z-A, entered the room, followed by three young people, said people looking as though they were barely 14, bearing the Wu-Tang symbol recently tattooed on their chest, and quite recently from the look of it. Ugh, RZA just waved his hand for the old dirty bastard to leave as he indeed did so, looking back at Miranda with a hateful look before leaving. Miranda stared up at this mystery man. He slowly turned to the table and picked up a clean towel and a bottle of sake as he returned to Miranda, bending down his knees as he returned to Miranda, bending down

his knees as he looked Miranda in the eye. If you're gonna kill me, you better do it now, Miranda said. Kill you, dear child. Goodness, no. You are much too valuable to just kill, RZA said softly, but with power and weight in his words. It felt as though his words were trying to work their way into her head to get her to trust him. I get that a lot. Usually my response is the same, Miranda said. Well, we aren't like the others. We have a more honorable intention to our methods, RZA said calmly, standing up as he slowly walked back to the table to lay the towel on it. You call rape and pillage of an entire country honorable, Miranda said, keeping her eyes

on RZA for anything he was trying to grab something. Wait, guys, seriously. This is when it gets good. The world is filled with anger, greed, lies, hatred, and unnatural children who are born with diseases that destroy their ability to think. The medical world comes up with all these names for these diseases or disorders. Schizophrenia, autism, Down syndrome, OCD, all these diseases that hinder the mind and destroy order. The portion

of your country in an arms wants to help these people. But do you know what that does? It wastes valuable resources. That's bullshit. Disorders aren't diseases, Miranda began to say before the RZA cut her off. Then how else would you call these horrible diseases of mankind? Lust? Greed? Wrath? Are you to tell me that they're disorders we cannot cure? RZA turned back to her as he walked to the other side calmly while talking. You can't compare mankind's sins to people with developmental disabilities, Miranda said angrily. mankind's sins to people with developmental disabilities, Miranda said.

Really? She wished she had the strength to break out of these handcuffs so she could get her hands around Riz's neck. She had worked with many people who had developmental disorders, and while many of them had to be taken away to institutes, leaving their children in foster care, she found more of these developmental people were just fine if they were given proper help from their peers to help them understand right from wrong. This is, I told you this will get me kicked out of San Francisco. You don't quite see it, do you? These disorders are the punishments God placed upon the world for its sins.

But that's where my men and the killer bees will change that. He walked back over to Miranda, bent down, and put his hands on the side of her arms as he stared at her with those haunting eyes. You are the most promising warrior I've ever had the pleasure to hear such tales from the killer bees. Join me. With our combined strength, we can take control of the country's financial heart and begin the cleansing. We will reform the world and all of mankind's sins will be eradicated forever. We will reform the world and all of mankind's sins will be eradicated forever. Yep.

Yep. I edited out the part where they said Master RZA had great English for an Asian man, which is just wrong on so many levels here. I'd rather go to hell than kill innocent people who can't help that they are the way they are, Miranda said darkly and angrily. RZA sighed as white spit off his face and stood up. Then you have chosen your end. RZA turned around as the youths began to speak up excitedly. I'm not sure. Should I go there? Should I go there? This is pretty raunchy. You already hit eugenics.

Alright, this is audience participation. You is audience participation. You might know this. Feel free to chime in. Master Rizzo, what are you going to do to her? I'm just going to change the gender so I'm more comfortable with this. Master Rizzo, what are you going to do to him? What you said. I have a suggestion, Master.

We could tie him to a bedpost with his ass cheeks spread out and shit, right? And we'll put a hanger on a stove and let it sit there for 30 minutes and then just stick that shit in. Awesome. Somebody knows it. The second youth excitedly suggested making the other two youths laugh while the RZA stood there, his hands together as he listened to these two ramble to one another. Oh, wait, wait, I'll fucking, I'll fucking lay his balls on a dresser and then I'll ram him with a spiked baseball bat.

Blow, the third youth said. Behind them stood Master GZA. He was Stu was laughing at these pathetic suggestions. I'll pull a tongue out and stab it with a rusty screwdriver. I'll hang him over the side of a building by his balls. I'll just fucking sew his asshole closed and then keep feeding them and feeding them and feeding them. All right, thank you. Boys, RZA finally spoke up to get them to stop as GZA entered the room to face RZA. What do you want us to do with her, brother? GZA, G-I-Z-Z-A, said calmly. RZA looked back to Miranda, who continued to stare at him with hatred in his eyes. She wasn't going to change her mind, obviously. RZA said something to GZA. It's GZA, but it's spelled GZA. So GZA,

that Miranda couldn't quite hear before she eventually left the room gizza just smiled darkly as he walked over to the table and picked up her sword pulling it out of its sheath as he walked over to miranda inspecting the sword this is a fine sword i'll be plowed proud to claim it as my own gizza said with a grin as the last thing miranda saw was gizzy used the handle of her own sword to walk her out. Knock her out. Eventually, Miranda awoke in darkness. She leaned her head up only to ram her head against something solid.

She leaned her head back as she groaned as she tried to put a hand to her head, but she found that she was taking her other hand with her. What? Her wrist felt the familiar cold metal of handcuffs on her wrists. She eventually recovered from the pain as she realized she couldn't see anything. It was pitch black. She tried to move her legs, but found she had limited mobility. She couldn't really bend her legs without hitting the low ceiling.

She placed her hands on the ceiling and felt wood as she heard a bit of creaking. No, they didn't, Miranda said to herself, trying to tell herself this was just a dream. But the pain she was feeling in her head from the Wu-Tang Clan and the smell of earth was confirming the worst. Oh god, they did. Miranda had been buried alive. All right. We have now a piece with more parts than are necessary. But that's the fucking writer's fault, not mine. We're about to take a break. But before we do that, we have a snippet from a movie. So, hey, you know how Amazon has that John Goodman thing?

Yeah, Alpha House. Congratulations, the one viewer. So there's a page on Amazon where you can suggest scripts for Amazon to pick up. So, I just need you to recognize that while you hear this story, recognize that this was something that was submitted to Amazon.com to be the next... Oh, transparent. Yeah, there we go.

Yeah, transparent. All right, so we have a couple roles here. First of all, there is Tony. Tony is played by Kumquat's Up right there. Equally as important of the role of tony is puppy uh puppy is a dog and that means that it's played by stog there is mr prime that is played by mr jw friedman there is penelope it's a lady that means that it is played by Frank West. And then I have police officer one and police officer two, and they speak in unison.

You two. You are both. You are police officer one. You are police officer two. Come up here. Come up here. All right. And finally, I need two doctors.

The first two people up on the stage are my two doctors. One and two. All right. There are my two doctors. One and two. All right, there are my two doctors. Terrific. All right, here we go. Tony woke up in the Green Forest Hospital. He looked around all of Tony's police buddies. Penelope and the puppy were all around him.

Tony tried to expulse what he saw. It was like some teepee of bad dream. Like looking at a wolf but as big as a bear. Wait, you have a concussion from what you ever hit you, but you're okay now. You fellow police officer and Miss Penelope stay by your side all night now.

Normally, we don't allow this many people to stay in hospital with one patient, but they were very persuasive. But we, before we can let you out, we have to take some x-ray too if you're in a cage. Okay.

Miss Penelope, found you look like you were pretty banged up. Holy shit! Shooed. I've seen the thing that backed in this. That was when the puppy jumped up

out of Penelope's arms and ran after Tony, jumping on the bed. Hi, little guy. You're the puppy I was coming to buy last night, I'll be okay, pups. Say, aren't. Aren't. Aren't. Thanks, dog.

Thanks, dog. Thanks, dog. Out! Oh! You like that. Okay then, for now on, your new name is Pops. What? Mark.

How does he do it? Oh, my God! That's an action. Marlon Brando is dead. Long live Marlon Brando is dead Long live Marlon Brando Then two hour wars went by finally Tony was rolled out of the x-ray room It's okay people

They said I can go home Thanks a lot Frowsh you fly. Then everyone heard it a hello. Coming from outside, the creature was out. Scene two. That was apparently scene one. That was scene one. All right, That was apparently Scene 1. That was Scene 1. Alright, so Officer 1 and 2?

What was a werewolf doing in the city and how come no one has seen 1 and 2 now? Maybe they have, but because some humans have seen them and hunted and killed them, maybe they went into hiding because they knew there are people still hunting them and those people are the ones that make the movies, the stories, and the games.

I mean, if you take the time to think about it, all movies and stories and games have three things in common. Werewolves come out during a full moon, two, if you're bitten by a werewolf, you trot into a werewolf, and three, only a silver you lay can kill a werewolf. Yeah! Yeah! Then how do we get away from it, and where do we get some silver bullet?

I don't know, but we can start by heading up to Mr. Primes' cabins in the woodies, where I spend my time thinking when I am off work and to pay his grave of his age. of work and to pay his grave of his age. It was two years ago, Tony, and you know you had no choice but to fight back. He came at you with a hunting knife. His death was an accident. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

I know that, and yes, I know he was the time killer! But it was not either of you two! It was me I killed, Mr. Prime, and he was my friend in METOR! Then Tony stopped the car and told everyone to get out. When they asked why Tony only said we're here as they got out of the car, Tony lit a torch,

reviling a clife, and on the other side was the K-Bean. This way to the rope brigade. Then they crossed. That's when the sun came up and showed the whole araya around them.

How boutierful and bing the caban and the forest is. Happy parks. Mr. Prime, I'm home. Then the wind came blowing throw as if to say, Hello! Everyone stop and look at Tony as he went over to Mr. Prime's grave

and placed three wildflowers on it. Mr. Prime, I wish you were still here. I cooed like a pigeon. Use your avice on how to beat this thing. And again, the wind began blowing, this time knocking over an axe as if to point to the old shed. We're, okay. The old shed were where the totes were stepped.

Tony went over to pick up the axe to stand it up. When he noticed the lock on the shed was broken, Tony pulled the brucking lock off and and opened the door when he swore that the shed was full of books videos and weapons weapons made of silver then tony looked at a book and a video that was both addressed to him. Then everyone had it in the cabin and locked the door. As they played the video first, the video showed Mr. Prime. Tony, if you are wataching this video, then for some reason I am dead because one of them must have got me or I was bitten and

now I am one of them or I felt it was time that you had to take care of yourself from these beasts and I challenge you to a fight so I can give you my power the only way a werewolf hunter know how by you killing me in hand-to-hand combat but knowing you you won't fight me just because I challenge you. So I have to challenge you the only way you will accept, and that's by becoming something you hate a killer. Then you will have no chice in the matter but to fight, and if that is the case, then you have the skills to fight but don't know what you're up against. That's what the book is for. Tony reads the book.

Scene three. Tony put the book down and ran out the side by the shed, grabbing four weapons, a sword, an axes, a knife, and a gun with silver bullets. Then Tony ran back to the cabin, placing three

of the four weapons on the tabooly. That's the fucking funniest misspelling yet. Terrific. Then went back to the side, cutting, cooting the rope braga to the make sure nothing and

no one could get across when Penelope and the other two office, let's say officers, got outside. They could only attach as the braga fell and they all asked if Tony had Tatch as the braga fell and they all asked if Tony had gone crazy

that the braga was there we're only way back and there was only to get reinforcements Tony no they're another braga but it's a seven day hike and that thing that werewolf is out there hunting us down in its piste.

What are we sapos to do when it finds us? I'll train you three on how to fight it and the puppy. I don't want to fight the puppy. You seem to know when it's around, so pup you, or the gower dog, you let us know when it's around, so pup you are the gower dog. You let us know when it's near. Bye. Tony stepped the sword, gave the knife to Penelope because she

was small, and the axe was too to have, and he trund to the other two officers. I, I seen you two around the police state I own, but. I ate ten to seep to ourselves. Safe, but we need to get to know each other if we are going to survive. Starting with our name, well, two, you should know me,

but I don't know you two, being I have never talked to anyone at the police. Stay tyone. Sickened the day I killed Mr. Prime. You don't remember us? The only thing I know is you are good officers, and that was it. Tony, it's me, Jeff. You helped me out on that cassis where the kids were disappearing. We found the kids were being kidnapped and sent

that to the slave camp. Yeah. I remember now because I broke that one guy's jaw. You broke his jaw, his arm, and both legs, plus you call him an asshole. Ha ha ha! Well, nobody heard a kid on my watch.

Then, Tony, look at the officer. And your name is Clarissa. I remember you now as well. This piece is edited for time. I never seen someone. No, this piece is edited for time. Well, up like that as he begged to be thrown in jail away from you. You think you control

this? Holy shit thing now and I know who is the rebel. This is because he was there the night I got off at the police stage. I own. He was asking for a ride down to the pet shop. He said he was looking for food. I took it to him as he was going to buy some food at the pet store. I gave him that left but halfway to the pet shop. He knocked

me out cold. I walked but the past door was wide open. I got out of the car and closed it. I must have fell asleep behind the wheelie of the car. I rush over to Penelope's store because I know it would be closing soon. That's when

I got there and the place was ripped to shreds. I went and investigated it. That's when I swale it, feasting on one of the animal ass I shot at it and it came smacking me I have no idea where he is in the script.

I was only able to get up because the puppy was barking, which gave me a new time to get up and grab it and my gun. How you doing, Frank West? Hey, you know,

I'm doing good. I hope people are enjoying this. What, do you think this is a good show? This is a great show, personally. You know, it's right here.

I have no idea how much longer this goes. By the way, what's your name? What's your name? And you, Penelope, around me, and I could not remember everything, both because I had a mild catch of amniasha and was afraid to remember what happened that when the doctor came, and I swale he was missing a part of his right ear when I asked, oh, the doctor did give me the okay to leave his head.

The right scratching his head. But what the doctor away gave me that the werewolf is a fact off. His eyes in a dark room. His eyes glows a white color. But in the light his eyes are a blue green. And that was what I saw. Blue green eyes on that thing when I pointed my flashlight on him. What?

green eyes on that thing when I pointed my flashlight on him. What? Then why in the stories do werewolves have yellow eyes then? Hands up. Who didn't quite catch that? I can do it again. Kumquat, run it by us again. Mabby, it's only the alfalfladers that keep the eye color.

That would make Senk being they are the strong geese of the pack. That is corrected. The final chapter. This is the same werewolf that attacked us in the hospital But it's the not one I fucked in the pet store, Penelope How can you be sure that there is not one and the same? Because the one I faced was bigger than this

Oh, uh, this literally says everyone else because the one I face was bigger than this. Oh, this literally says everyone else. Wait, wait, wait, where is it? Where is it? It's here, it's here. Oh, okay, here we go. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you.

I'll give it to you. Your line, audience, is, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. Your line, audience, is, well, if this werewolf is not the one from the pet shop, then where is it? I'll give you one more time. Well, if this werewolf is not the one from the pet shop,

then where is it? Here we go, here we go. One, two, three. Well, if this werewolf is not the one. One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, my God. F-Plus Live! Yeah!

It's out there looking, killing its next victim. It's out there, look, and killing its next victim. We must train ourselves and hunt these werewolves down and stop them from killing people. So, Penelope, Jeff, and Clarissa. Which one's Clarissa? Oh, that's you? Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So, Penelope, Jeff, and Clarissa

agreed to train them slefs and put a stop to the Weirwals wins and for all. Marks, Gringley. The end! The end! USA!

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! Hey, hey, hey Stog? Stog. What up Stog? Do you know your name rhymes with dog? Thank you Alright, we got one more quick break We got a couple more readings for you This screen is becoming worse Hi!

So we got one more quick break. We got a couple more bits of fun. Please stick around. We'll be right back. And come on, buy a t-shirt. Buy a t-shirt. Buy a t-shirt. And drink more.