The F Plus - live5c: F Plus Live 5 | The Finnish Incident | Part 3

Episode Date: November 5, 2016

The explosive finale! Montrith turns the screws on the audience, but they prove resiliant. This is part three of three. And we start it out with Lemon and a piece of music journalism with a bunch of lyrics in it. After that, Achilles' Heelies learns a lot about not giving up on love. And the closer for the evening is the good sir Jimmyfranks who gives the assembled audience some practical romantic advice they can use later on that night. Four hours of content in both audio and video form, and we are delighted by the results. We hope you're happy too. See you next time.

All right. We are coming into the last of our segments. As I said, I'm pretty sure Montress isn't listening anymore and probably won't be interrupted at any point. I might be interrupted by something completely unrelated to the thing that I was thinking about being interrupted by. Hey, this room is warm, and this hat does not make it less warm.

But it helps you go fast, right? No, no, it actually doesn't. Oh, shit. It is that terrifying music. Oh, my God. There is nothing more ominous than Finland covering the Ramones. Here's the Minnesota Met. Nothing more ominous than Finland covering the Ramones! Hello, hello, DF+. Are you insane yet?

You don't look particularly insane. You look pretty drunk. Maybe a little stupid. Kind of slutty. Some of you are kind of cute. She's got your number. Actually, that one. You actually that one you see that one in the back yeah that the one close to the door in the back sitting by no

not not that one the ones next to that was yes that one sleep that one naked and send it to my room and actually those two in the middle by the window, ship them together in a crate with a shock collar and two quarts of lube. Anyways, yes. Hello, slaves. This is your commander speaking.

Let's test your obedience. I want you all to stand up. That's right. Stand up. This isn right, stand up. This isn't a TV show, this is real life. Stand up, all of you. Good. Okay, slaves, now on count of three, everybody clap your hands three times.

On the count of three, okay. One, two, three. Okay, okay, letaksi, kolme. Okei, kokeilemme jotain toista. Toisaalta kolme kertaa, kaikki kukkumaan. Minulla on kloonipäivä. Yksi, kaksi, kolme. Minulla on kloonipäivä! Ha ha, sinulla on kloonipäivä.

Kertominen tekee sen totta. Tämä on parhaimmilta. And now it is the time for dancing. Yes. Dance. Dance. Dance my puppets. Work it ladies, get your freak on. Fellas, work that ass after getting consent. Important step. There are two steps. Consent and then the freaky. Also, stay away from...

Excuse me. Stay away from those two by the window. Those belong to me. Yes, this is excellent. Okay, that's enough of that. I believe we are ready. And now, everybody, remove the democratically elected leaders of your country and replace them with puppets of a Finnish shadow government.

Hello? You don't seem to be... Oh, I know, okay. Simon says remove the democratically elected leaders of your country and replace them with puppets of a Finnish shadow government. How disappointing. All our projections said you'd be broken by now. Very well. I didn't want to do this. I'm afraid I must enact the nuclear option.

Somebody bring Lemon up to the stage. I have something special prepared just for you. Are we allowed to sit back down? Yeah. Oh, shit. Is that the Cottonmouth Kings? My song is the Cottonmouth Kings. Shit. Oh my god. What?

Done with what? What? Lemon, you still haven't answered where the weed is at. I don't know where the weed is. Is there actually paper in here? Oh, wait. Here we go. Okay.

That would have been typical of F Plus Live. Okay. Here we go. You guys ready back there? I have no alcohol still, so I mean... All right, here we go. Excellent. So, this selection that Montreth gave to me... On the third day of Christmas, Montreth gave to me...

Son of a bitch! So this is a review it's a review of insane clown posse the great Milenko if I'm not mistaken that's Joker card number four fuck you for knowing that it's so fucking good. Okay, okay. Here we go. Review by Ocelot-05.

October 1st, 2005. Album release date 1997. Insane Clown Posse Is one of those Bands That you either love or hate If you made me sit down And listen to their entire discography

I would be filled with animosity Towards ICP Cursing their inanity However I think that The Great Malenko Is actually An alright CD In case you did not know The Great Malenko is the fourth in a series of six Joker cards.

All of these Joker cards have different messages and represent different elements of life. What is amazing about ICP is that they seem so inarticulate and pathetic, but they actually come out with some very intelligent and profound things sometimes. This is evident in the passages that come with each of the Joker card albums. There are many other CDs

like the forgotten freshness of bizarre and bizarre is spelled B-I-Z-A-R that have nothing to do with the Joker cards. That was an aside. It was helpful. Wow. There is a message in do with the Joker cards. That was an aside. It was helpful. Wow. There is a message in each of the Joker card albums. So obviously the guys have some sort of intelligence.

Some sort of intelligence. Some sort of intelligence. One of the interesting things about The Great Milanko is that it almost wasn't. Originally, it was going to be released under a division of Disney, and their song about killing a cop almost prevented them from getting this album out into the public. Luckily, they managed to release it under Island Records and their own label, Psychopath Records. Oh, that's wrong. It's Psychopathic Records. Oh, my God.

I'm going to error check you, Ocelot05. That really would have been a tragedy if that didn't get released. Really? Which later went on to sign with numerous other members of the Dark Carnival, parentheses, ICP's Stupid Gathering of Nuts. It's a better name than Gathering of the Juggalos. Yes. Try to get past all the occultic BS,

but don't listen with too critical an ear. Most of the lyrics are incredibly stupid and... Most of the lyrics are incredibly stupid and bereft of any intellect. Both of those two things. However, most of the time, this album is downright funny. Their earlier albums have horrible production, and their later albums, like Hell's Pits,

were just unforgivably sick. The Great Milenko is, in a way, a bridge between their old-school style and their more slick but annoying... Why can't I throw this page away yet? ...style found in The Wraith and amazing Jekyll brothers. Another thing to remember is that you don't have to have, this is very true,

you don't have to have any background in hip-hop music to appreciate the great Milanko. Have you ever heard of Wu-Tang Clan? Just go that way. You should probably go listen to them instead. It does indeed consist of rap, but it is not like any other rap I have heard. Call it unconventional.

Call it insane. Just don't call it some same old, same old. It is anything but. Don't ask me why they paint their faces. Maybe they're just idiots. Or maybe they're only pretending to be idiots. Just listen to the album and try to get some of the humor out of it. Is this a fucking track by track?

Shit! Shit! Shit! Let's go through all of the tracks of this album. What's the first track? The first track. You're going to like this. This proves that they're not idiots.

The first track is called Intro. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm no Alice Cooper fan, but I was very happy to hear his cameo in the intro. Come on, man. Just sell more burgers at your shit restaurant. He doesn't sing.

He just introduces you to the mystical great Malenko. His voice is ominous and a little bit scary. He is a voice coming out of a jukebox at an old black pool house. Let's just get past that. Or a restaurant. The voice acting is, as always, very funny. Believe it or not, the main

Oh, fuck! The main black man is actually Violet J. Yeah! Oh, fuck. The main black man is actually Violet J. Yeah. Oh, no. Great. Number two, The Great Milanko. Okay, intro is an intro.

So what is The Great Milanko? It basically does the same thing as track one, describes The Great Milanko. Yay! does the same thing as track one describes the great Malenko. It is not an interesting or funny song, so don't bother. To put it quite bluntly, it sucks. 1.5 out of 5. Number three, Hocus Pocus.

This is one of the funnier songs on the album. It is basically about ICP touring and going to parties. They make references to Fago. You don't say. Their soft drink they invented. I hate error checking this. I hate knowing more about Insane Clown Posse than this guy.

One of the most amusing lines in the song is... Okay, let me try to... Here we go. It's in quotes, so... Call me Psycho Sizzle Freak and I'll call you by your name, Dick Anus. That's not a very mentally stimulating song, but wait, this is ICP we're talking about.

The song has an overall carnival sound to it, with a wacky bassline and keyboards. I met Milenko. He gave me three wishes. That night, I fucked three fat bitches. Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! I really wish you would have let that awkward silence just hang. Is another one of the funny lines from this song. That silence is so freaking cute. That's a 2.5 out of 5. Let's go to Piggy Pie. This is the song that almost stopped ICP from releasing this album.

They talk about three different pigs making an allusion to the nursery rhyme. Only these pigs are three different classes of cops. The first one is a redneck trailer cop. The second is a middle class suburban pig. And the last one is as ICP would say

a rich bitch. This song isn't that funny but it has a cool beat to it. One of the lines from the song has some sort of moral. People in my city, they're fighting for their meals.

He sleeps on a mattress stuffed with $100 bills. No, no. That sucks. Wow, what a moral. This song... No, that was... No, that wasn't funny. That was trenchant.

This song is okay, but not that good. I'm actually crying. And the end, there is a skit in which a man calls a suicide hotline. Violent J is on the other end of the line and he dares him to do it and calls him a chicken. You finally hear a gunshot, but the guy responds, I knew you wouldn't do it, you scary bitch, at the end of the song.

Let's just go to the next song. It was a three out of five. It was just a three out of five. All right, so the first four songs are all below average. Below average. Ins it. Below average. Insane clown posse. Number five, how many times? Ah, at last.

Semi-colon. A good song. At least in my opinion. The bass is dark and haunting, which is rare for ICP. How many times? Talks about everyday life inconveniences. It may sound whiny, but it actually makes you feel sorry for Jay.

Isn't that amazing? Towards the end, the lyrics take a turn. How many times will a judge decide my fate? Who is he? A bitch. Nothing great. He takes shits. He fucks his old floppy wife.

Plays with his balls and judges my life. Don't smell. Don't fucking encourage him. Why do I smell shit? Oh, it's because it's coming out of my mouth. Bitch, bitch, bitch. Okay, here we are.

This was the first song that jumped out at me when I first listened to The Great Milanko. After the song, a skit follows. The skit takes a shot at teenage wannabe gangstas. A whiny kid, voiced by Violent J, of course. The other guy's not in this. Talks to a couple of other white kids about being a big gangbanger. His rant is interrupted by his mom screaming,

Brian, get your ass in here right now and finish your homework. It is a very funny sketch, and I can relate to it. Having dealt with people like this over the years, four out of five. No! The thing is, is nobody really... You want it to be a five? Is that... Yeah.

Six. Six out of five. Six. I'm sorry. There's no reason to be a ranch dressing. Track number six is called Southwest Voodoo. Let me tell you something about Southwest Voodoo. This song is terrible.

I agree. I don't want to waste any time going into why, so I'm going to. It is inspired and annoying. One out of five. Number seven, Halls of Illusions. Halls of Illusions tells the story of people walking through hallways in which they see what their lives could have been. Everybody is happy and everybody seems successful, but then everything stops. You then see...

but then everything stops. You then see... You then see things, how things really are in reality. Had they not abused their children and actually cared, these illusions could have come true. Back to reality. Your son's on crack

and your daughter's got nut stains on her back and they both smell like shit and live in the gutter and they sell track to each other that's true of do you fucking applaud for that? Do you fucking...

Don't you fuck... No! No! You bastards. This song has a moral message and... What? How do you get nut stains on your back? What's a nut stain? And why is it on your back? What's a nut stain?

And why is it on your back? That wouldn't give a nut stain. That's a cum stain. No, no, no, man. He was shelling pistachios on her back. Oh, okay. That's what they do in Michigan, I heard. Hey, baby, let's fuck.

I need to get myself a snack first. That's three out of five. Three. Three out of five. Oh shit. The next song. Whatever it is. Number eight.

Look it up. When it comes to ICP I don't get to say that many songs are beautiful. Really? I genuinely think that under the moon oh this is the song under the moon is a beautiful song

the lyrics tell the story of it's a beautiful song it's a fucking beautiful song let me explain to you right now why it's a beautiful song it's very obvious okay the lyrics tell the story of a man who killed someone who tried to rape his girlfriend when he was a kid pretty beautiful that's that's the definition of beauty his girlfriend when he was a kid or when the

the girlfriend was a kid let me read that sentence again and let's try to parse it together jack chick okay tried to rape his girlfriend when he was a kid yeah so yeah the thing that you thought right okay yeah so let's not overthink it he sits in prison for years but is never visited by his beloved she never calls him she never writes to him but the only reason he doesn't commit suicide is because he knows that she is out there somewhere under the moon. Violent Jay, backed by a melancholy beat, conveys true sadness and feelings of abandonment. He finally comes to the realization when he says, Say it! Look here! Fuck you and fuck the moon! Moon's not at fault. The song blissfully spirals out of control

with a depressing piano melody ascending and descending. Under the Moon is a brilliant song and tells a great story. 4.5 out of 5. It's not perfect. It's just beautiful, that's all. This one starts with lyrics Number nine, what is a juggalo? A juggalo? That's what it is

Well fuck if I know I don't know, but I'm down with the clown And I'm down for life Yo down for life. Yo! No! No! This song describes the characteristic and tendencies of juggalos. You know, meth and death.

Whatever they are. He'll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Fall. What is it, Juggalo? He ain't a phony. He'll walk up and bust a nut in your macaroni and

watch you sit there and finish up the last bit cause you're a stupid ass dumb fucking idiot. Best poetry, baby. That's awesome. This song, while stupid, is always a riot. I laugh every time I listen to it. I've had a lobotomy.

Number 10, House of Horrors. House of Horrors, along with Boogie Woogie Woo, is one of the two sickest songs on the album. It tells a story similar to House of a Thousand Corpses. Some young people enter, get tormented, and killed. It is very dumb, yet I know all the words. It is very catchy, and an easy way to get onto a juggalo's good side is to...

Why the fuck would you want to do that? Cook my fucking fries! We don't need to be friends! Often, the song is pretty disgusting and unappealing. Three out of five. Sick. Like the rest of the album? is pretty disgusting and unappealing. Three out of five. So just to keep tally here, we're 12 songs in.

Two of them are above average. Yes, and none of them are great. Okay, got it. But I like them all, and I've memorized them. This is a great album. I've made many, many Juggalo friends. Also, where's all my shit? I made a bunch of Juggalo friends,

and now all of a sudden I don't have a TV? That's a weird coincidence. That is a weird, yeah. Boogie Woogie Woo. This song tells us the story of the boogeyman who sneaks into the children's room and kills them in many different ways. These methods include, comma,

stabbing them with broken brooms in the forehead, chopping their face up with an axe or chewing their toes off it is even if you like if you no it's not murder couldn't even come up with nope

it is even more sick than House of Horrors and pretty much just pisses me off. I'm not one of those oversensitive, politically correct and uptight people, but I just get mad about the lyrical content of this song. Two out of five. Number 12, The Nadin Game. This is

possibly Insane Clown Posse's most heard song. It was the first song I ever heard. I hate it now, but back then I thought it was hilarious. The truth is you probably you will probably never hear a song as antisocial as the Nedden game.

Nedden is a slang word for vagina, if you're filth. Two contestants, Violent J and Shaggy, vie for the rights to Sharon's Nedden by answering questions on a dating game show format, because we're fucking current. It is incredibly misogynistic and degrading to women, which also gets on my nerves. 2.5 out of 5. Wow. 2.0. Negative.

He's willing to listen to the album. He's not going to get any of us here. Number 13. Hallelujah. Hellelujah. Which version of Hellelujah did you like? Under the Moon and Hellelujah are the only truly powerful songs on the album. Hellelujah switches between a skit about a con artist evangelist and the music between verses.

Jonathan has problems. Twisted neck, tangled legs, crooked spine. But we can heal this boy for just $6,000. We can heal this boy for just six thousand dollars we can heal this boy there was no quote ends there but i'm gonna just do that for you you're welcome violent jay comments on the ties between money and hypocrisy fuck that violent jay comments on the ties between money and hypocrisy and religion. At the end, the pastor counts the money and finds that the goal has been reached. He cries.

Now we're out of quotes. Rumen lumen. Llama nama Newman. This boy is healed. I hate it too. Everything falls silent. Yay! Yay!

And Jonathan says, A! New quote. To the naked eye, it would appear that this boy has not been healed but i can assure you his spirit has been healed inside this tangled mangled frame is a healed little boy are you getting like are you getting like the social satire it's's pretty good. So here's the thing. I'm fucking stupid. Okay.

This song also serves as a social commentary, so I give it four out of five. Number 14, Down with the Clown. Down with the Clown starts out with horrible screaming. The song, like Southwest Voodoo, is crap. It is irritating, dull, and predictable. Give it a wide berth. Oh, he spelled berth right.

Like he used the actual right version of berth there. One out of five Number 15, just like that This is a more traditional rap song By people who've never heard rap music before And is very short Five out of five It tells the story of a guy

Who wakes up in his crappy apartment And gets a call from his friend. His friend tells him that he knows a couple hot chicks who they can screw on the spot. That's a lie. You understand that, like, women do crystal meth too, right? Yeah, I've seen pictures from the gathering. The main character doesn't... Let me make sure.

Yep. Okay, that is how it's written. The main character doesn't can't get there, so he waits outside for someone to come pick him up. He waits and waits and no one comes. There is a surprise ending where the guy gets out of the car and says, Yo, man, you're out of luck.

That classic line. That classic line. Violent J is then killed. Yay! Hallelujah! Finally, justice is served. That was a Christmas miracle. F plus live Violent J is then killed That was two out of five

Okay so here's the thing I wish people would take Insane Clown Posse A little more seriously No no no no no Lemon no, no, no. Lemon, that's fair. That's fair. I mean, we've reviewed the whole album,

and there were three tracks that were above average. Right, right. There was the one about fucking a pussy, and then there was the one about... Well, there was one about killing. There was a killing one. Okay. Okay.

Mr. Banks would say, stop snorting my shit um they may be dumb sometimes but there is nothing dumb about them wearing clown face paint the idea i mean there's appropriate the idea of the trickster represented by the joker cards and the clowns is something that is significant to all of us on an anthropological and mythological level. Whoop whoop, fam! The magician, the great Milenko, the Joker character, can be found almost everywhere you look in humanity. Think of Insane Clown, it does

if you have nightmares, think of the Insane Clown bossy as a musical embodiment or manifestation of this theme, like the movie The Mask represents Loki, the Norse god of mischief. Ladies and gentlemen, Lemon!

I'm going to have some words with Mantras. I'd like to point out that Lemon has organized this for all of you and so if you're having fun give it the fuck up for Lemon it's actually not fair though Boots did a lot of it Boots! Boots! Boots! Boots! Boots! alright

two more Raiders coming up to the stage one of whom we met actually here at F Plus Live All right. Two more readers coming up to the stage. One of whom we met actually here at F Plus Live for the first time. And we said, I really fucking like this guy. This guy's name is Achilles Heelys. Achilles! Up in here, up in here Y'all gonna make me go all out Up in here, up in here Y'all gonna make me act a fool Up in here, up in here

Y'all gonna make me lose my cool Up in here, up in here I gots to bring it to you cowards And it's gonna be quick Oh, thank you, sorry Good joke, Victor What do we have here? That's the courier That's very much Oh, thank you. Sorry. Good joke, Victor. What do we have here? That's the courier.

That's very much an opposite. Oh, shit. Good joke. Victor Laszlo. What do we have here? We have Dragon Rat. The OK Cupid profile. All right, I'm ratty 913, 38, male, bisexual, single. That's a spicy meatball.

Kansas City, Kansas. meatball. Kansas City, Kansas. My self-summary, I'm six foot three. I weigh around 220 to 225 pounds. I'm big boned. And I have natural curly brown hair. My eyes are blue. I love to do anything. My eyes are blue. I love to do anything. Outdoors, like camping, fishing, biking, and hiking. I'm a furry. You don't say, dragon rat. So don't hold that against me.

Which, in turn, means I'm an animal in human form. And I have a totem. But haven't found out which one yet. I love any movie that has anthropomorphic animals in it. Playing Oh, I'm sorry. Anthropomorphic animals in it. Playing the actors.

I see leads, flashlights of different gen for some reason. I'm attracted to light. I love to play with RC cars or anything RC I love going and I love going to the lake

every day when I can to walk my dog and enjoy the sounds of nature. I'm loving Lonely and Single. Oh, yes. So many phones right now

on OkCupid. What I'm doing with my life about to give up on this site. Trying to find me a mate because it don't seem like it's working yet. So I'm about to say, hell with everything. I'm a furry too. So if any of you co-assed minded people door like that, then go elsewhere.

Looking at guys profiles and if the enemy percent is too high you're guetting dumps no matter what thanks all try to have a good day i'm really good at training dogs to be more better in behavior. Do you use peanut butter to do that? Oh, yeah, I love it. I'm really good at some car work. I'm good at working with PCs, depending on what the 4E problem is. Long it's not out of my lead. I lo-gooed at

bike riding and just having fun. I like having fun. I like having fun, too. I wonder if this guy likes to laugh. Oh, I love to laugh. The first thing people usually notice about me is my long legs and arms, and I'm a gamer.

I love playing. That is not in the right order. I carry my mouse and keyboard. Oh, that's a gamer. He's got long legs. Are you a Xbox heavy? He actually has a necklace that has an Xbox controller I love playing games on the console

I'm single and looking Tall, charming when I want to be Loll Favorite books, movies, shows Music and food I love anything CGI and anthropomorphic related like Brother Bear or Lion King. Yes. Disney's Robin Hood.

I love... Not my version. I love rave, trance, nature, world music, R&B, and rap and hip hop. Not my version. I love rave, trance, nature, world music, R&B, and rap and hip hop. I love hot dogs, pizza, vegetables, and fruits. What? I do not fucking believe you. He made a list of things that he liked.

Yeah. That goes without saying. The six things I could never do without. One, my family and friends, because without them I'm nobody. I'm nobody. Two, my car, because without it I'm just bored and have nothing to do. Three, my life, because if I wasn't here today, the world would be different. Nope. Imagine a world without dragon rats.

Four, my computer, because without it, I don't have connections. Or second life. Five, my dog, because without him, I'm alone and have no friends. because without him, I'm alone and have no friends. Six, a place to live because with it, just another harmless piece of crap to everyone else. I spent a lot of time thinking about what's going to happen in my future. What am I going to do?

No, I'll never die. What am I going to have like kids? Am I ever going to have a mate in my life? Am I ever going to have someone to love and spend the rest of my life with? To death do us apart. So many emotions that is just going to stop here. On a typical Friday night, I am wanting to go out to shopping malls and skip the bars because I'm not a drinker. I just want to have fun without liquor and enjoy life. Me too. The most private thing I'm willing to admit, nothing you need to know,

until I get to know you good and have trust. You should message me if you are interested or want to hang out sometime and get to know one another little more, or if it's just a friend's thing and want to meet up with me so we can talk and enjoy a night in the town.

I, uh... I mean... I have wanted very few things less than that. There's nothing better than downtown Kansas City, Kansas. Oh, yeah, yeah. So now I bring you to a completely different human being. The disparagingly.com profile

of Dratty Firecaster. Okay, wait. You said Dragon Firecaster? No, no, no, no. Dratty Firecaster. Cool. I'm different. SL name. Dratty firecaster. I'm different. SL name, dratty firecaster. Born on

2010-03-02. Last seen in Money Island. Desk is dratty. A solo guy that doesn't like to be the one everyone picks on all the time. Coming from a land far away where dragons once roomed.

On Airbnb, probably. And now on a search for finding the white dragon of life. A quest that's going to be a while until the white dragon chooses me as a protector of the planet's spurt energy. Linden's paid

$10,880,002. Second life profile. Ruegan Viceratops. Biography, sex, male. Born February 26, 1975.

Orientation, trisexual. My spouse, looking on Second Life and in real life, too. Age, 38 years old now. Still looking for a mate. Fur affinity profile. No, no, no. Can we go back to second life? Please.

Please. No, no, no. I heard you wanted fur affinity, Jack. And my species is a dragon rat. Oh, that's fun. I'm 36. My operating system is Windows 7 64-bit home. Personal quote, keep faith in you.

Music type genre, nature and tribal. Favorite movie, anything and tribal. Favorite movie, anything and throw. Favorite game, Spyro the Dragon. Oh yeah. Favorite game platform, PlayStation Wii.

Music player of choice, Winamp. Yeah. Favorite animal, kangaroos and dragons. Favorite website, vclfurryyard.com. Favorite food, anything. Here's some journal entries on furaffinity.net. Just hanging out on SL.

Going to build another computer. Hi, and how's the blogs going? I know it's been a while since last blog post here on FA, and I was going to say hi to everyone and see what's new. Nothing much new here besides looking for a car now, because my poor little escort I had is in her final resting area now. What? What? What?

He's touching the desk. No, no, no. No, what happened was somehow my top radiator hose popped off and I lost all the coolant. And after that happened, it either cracked my block or blew a head gasket. Now I'm looking for another car

so I can have a ride again and have me ride to try and get to some more cons soon. I'm going to go and see Sonic Blue as soon as I have a car and have money to get to Ohio and a GPS so I don't get lost going down there. But besides that, I'm still doing good

and working on building a faster computer than the two I have now. I'm still on Second Life, I still play WoW, and I play Free Realms 2. I didn't like Mvoo much, so I haven't had the chat program for a long time now. I'm still on Skype, Yahoo, and MSN Messagers. So if you want to add me as a friend, just send an invite and a short messag

so I know it's another fur and not a bot. And have a good... I thought you were desperate. Are you really going to turn down all the bots? And have a good... I thought you were desperate. Are you really going to turn down all the bots? And have a good one. Until then... No, but he can pretend. Until then, love nature

and don't let the animals go extinct. And be one with the spurts of the planet and share your love for helping out animals. Amen, hall Amen. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I wish there wasn't more. I bring you to more from furaffinity.net.

Ten days of no freedom. How's everyone doing? Just an update on my status. I went to court. Yay! Yay! USA! USA!

USA! USA! For the driving on a suspended license. And the public defender didn't defend me very much at all. So now I have 30 days to see a parole officer to get a 10-day house arrest sentence. Have court again...

Have court again next month for a doctor bill and i hope after all this is over i don't need to deal with court anymore i don't know how i could ever stop that and try and try again next year to go back to school and get my ged and get a sport and either RC car technician or costume making and make a living making fursuits and other stuff. My track sass stampede is going toe-broke down to four the next three months until I have money to get another motor for it and I'm hopping next year too.

I can get two more Furcons because I miss going to them since the last time I was at any since 2007. And we'll probably Ratty913 will be gone there here soon on FA. And the new Fur name

will be Rugen. So that way anyone that's watching me now is ratty nine 13. You will now be able to read me to your watches as user Reagan. I probably shouldn't have said anything yet because someone might take the Rugen name. What? Squatted motherfucker. $10,000.

I'll see you in court on here. I rugen visera tops on second life so add me as a second life friend if anyone plays sl besides me tell then hi tell then high pause to all of you on FA. I'm free. Free as a bird. Just to update on my house arrest. I've been off it now since the 21st of this month and liking it. Now I just need to make it tell next year when i get my

license back so i can drive again and enjoy life more and not be depressed all the time because i don't have a bf or gf to be with and spend my life with but enough of the gf bf thing because noon gives a damn anymore about a lonely soul. But soon as I can, I'm going to get the money to have a mask made for a fursuit I'm going to have done down the line. I hopwa, it will be done soon on the fursuit if I don't kill myself kill myself because I don't have a reason to be alive. But the fursuit, the fursuit's a reason to be alive. No, it really isn't.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. That works the opposite. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Shit, I'm ranting now. Anyways, this is all going to say for now. Bye, y'all. Bye! Bye! Oh, just kidding.

I have a lot more to say. If you all only... No, no, that's okay. That's okay. That's okay. No, no, no. It's important. If you all only lived my life and went through what I have my life, you would understand why I'm always

in these moods. But since you never had and don't have the money to do things, I like tobe doing and having things other furs have. It really makes you wonder. And as to the part of a reason in my life, there's no reason because I don't have a mate.

I don't have a freaking sex drive and never been laid a day in my life. Yay! And it's my main reason I'm always talking shit about my life. I know life don't revolve around sex, but I'd like to just once expit and enjoy it instead of living a life of a never-no-sex and wondering just what purpose is being alive on this godforsaken planet called Earth.

Anyways, hi to everyone. Hi. Hi. I just have one final post. Okay. Called hi. Hi. Just thought I would say hi to everyone and keep up the good work on art for all my submissions and a little update on my status i have my driving without license ticket all taken care of and now i'm just waiting to get them reinstated so I can drive again.

And hope to make it some cons before I hit 40 years old. Since I'm 35 years old now. Why do you keep getting younger? And hope to meet some negative furs at some cons soon. So hi-yas, everyone. And mind the typos, Pools. Thanks, and hue-pah to all. All right. Achilles motherfucking Helius!

It is time for us to close this out. And I have selected the man who is going to close this out. His name is Jimmy Franks! Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Nothing's gonna stop us. Nothing's gonna stop us. Ooh. Oh, romantic.

And the courier has one more package for us. This does not bode well. Somewhere in there is something to read, Jimmy Franks. Oh, no. How's it feeling? Hang on. Does it feel good? No.

No, it doesn't. Alright. So all night they've been winding me up telling me, oh we're saving the best for last man. You're the closer, you're the closer. Now I understand why. To send you off with something that you're all probably a little curious about.

The Video Game Geek's Guide to Eating Pussy. Unabridged. By Sebastian Digital from the Amazon Kindle store. About the author. Sebastian Digital is the nom de plume of a lifetime video game and sexuality enthusiast.

Sebastian has over 27 years of video game experience and over eight years of pussy game experience and over eight years of pussy eating experience. He enjoys sharing these experiences with others who share his passions and is constantly seeking to improve both his video game skills and his pussy eatingeating abilities.

Sebastian, it looks like a resume, actually. Sebastian resides in California, is currently single, ladies, and is very active on online dating. Introduction. If you're reading this book, then let's face it, you're probably not very successful with the ladies. You're probably better at gathering resources in Minecraft or shooting Hadoukens in Street Fighter

than you are at approaching girls in bars or getting their phone numbers. In fact, you're probably still a virgin and are scared, confused, and worried about sex. You may be wondering, will I be able to please a woman without any experience? You may even wonder if it's too late for you to enjoy sex. Almost as if you missed out on your chances to learn how to interact with women. Well, fear not! Believe it or not, all those hours spent playing video games

may have given you the patience, dexterity, and reaction time to drive a woman wild in bed. How? Well, by eating pussy! Eating pussy can be a very fun activity for both parties, but to truly do it well requires skill, mastery, Oh! Dexterity of the fingers and the tongue!

The ability to think on your feet and intelligence! Hmm, where else have you used those same abilities? In video games, of course! Think on your feet and intelligence. Hmm, where else have you used those same abilities? In video games, of course. All those hours spent playing video games has actually trained you to become a woman-pleasing master. And this book will show you how to put those abilities together to make a woman beg you for more. Eating pussy is an intimate, beautiful act in which you use your tongue, lips, and hands to stimulate a woman's sex organs. It's truly a great way of being intimate and showing a woman how much you care for and appreciate her. But beyond that, it can also be a lot of fun. Think about it. What

could be better than having your head between a girl's legs, hearing her moan and scream with pleasure while you taste her amazing love juices flowing down your lips? In keeping with the idea that sex should be about fun and pleasure, this book will present pussy-eating techniques with plenty of analogies to video games. Another fun and pleasurable activity. You'll notice the chapter headings in this book each have a video game reference.

Always remember, eating pussy is about having fun for you and your partner. With that said, let's begin now. Chapter one, enter's begin now. Chapter 1. Enter the Warp Zone. The first rule of eating pussy is to make sure you're ready to enter the Warp Zone. Make sure eating pussy is something you and your partner want at that moment. Remember the Warp Zone pipes in the original Mario game? Eating pussy is a lot like that.

You must be willing to dive in. At the same time, the girl you're eating out has to want it or else it's like a blocked pipe in Mario, you will go nowhere. Make sure it's something she would like to enjoy. As for you, prepare yourself, knowing going in that at first the odors of her vagina are pungent and may take a minute or two to get used to.

Know this going in, but dive in anyways. After two minutes or so, the odor fades away. You definitely do not want to let her see you make any weird faces upon smelling her vagina Show some enthusiasm Gobble like you're eating cherries and running from ghosts And a lot of your mistakes will be forgiven Chapter two Get the dust off the cartridge.

When you're... When you're ready to start working on her lady parts, gently blow up and down her vagina first. As if you're cleaning an old video game cartridge. This gets the connection on the cartridge ready for some more intimate gameplay. Chapter three. Underwater levels are more fun. What?

They're never... All right. Make sure she is wet before you start using your tongue or lips. If you touch her pussy and it feels dry Use your finger to touch her clit gently The clit is the part of her vagina a bit above the opening That feels a bit like the button on a video game controller See? Told you all those hours playing video games would help you out during sex.

Be sure you don't treat her clitoris like a button masher, though. You should be more gentle and delicate. Picture swiveling your finger around the direction pad on the controller when you're trying to do a special move in a fighting game. As a general rule, the clitoris is a direction pad not the fight buttons never treat the pussy like a button masher you have to be a true gamer to master pleasing a woman chapter four gap between the tiles. Part your girl's legs.

Or have her part her legs like a gap between tiles in a side-scrolling tile-based puzzle game. If you want, ask her to part her lips like the start of a new level so you can look in like you're entering a new level in a first-person shooter game. Chapter five, begin fight. Playing a fighting game requires patience, often involving waiting for your opponent to make the first move, blocking, and then countering. Eating pussy requires patience as well. Instead of being too eager,

make sure your first lick is slow and deliberate. Start. Start at the top of the vagina and slowly work your way down in one long, smooth stroke, as if you're a giant video game ball collecting smaller objects while rolling downhill. Don't worry about pubic hair

just think of it as extra points you're collecting while rolling downhill for an added bit of fun pretend you're playing a war a shooting game and your character is running out of life and dying make them make them same groaning

noises you make when your character just got shot from behind. These groaning noises will send vibrations along her vagina, shaking her body in really deep ways. Chapter six, button mashing works. Sometimes... Hey, I didn't write it. After a few gentle strokes, try some slightly harder laps with your tongue. The clitoris actually moves around during sex. Particularly as the woman nears orgasm.

Like a power-up that you must chase in an early 90s side-scroller game. That checks out. The clitoris is surrounded by the woman's labia and can easily pop over to another side with too much pressure. As a result, as a result, there has to be balance at first.

Slowly explore with your tongue until you find a button-like spot in her pussy. Once you've found it, purse your lips to keep her pussy lips out of the way, and then start button-mashing with your tongue like you're playing a multiplayer arcade game from the late 90s. you're playing a multiplayer arcade game from the late 90s. Run your fatalities or special moves from your favorite game. But with your tongue. Be aware of the girl's reactions.

If she seems to be very sensitive, slow down a bit. And if she isn't as sensitive, button mash like an eight-year-old playing on a console. If she starts blinking red, shoot her in that area. Okay. Chapter seven, 64-bit clitorises.

All right. All right. Okay. 64-bit clitoris refers to the very sensitive ones. The ones that make their owners gasp and scream with any stimulation at all. For these, rhythm is key. Pretend you're playing an early boxing video game or a rock music game.

Lick these 64-bit clitorises casually until she comes. These clits will require a solid 10 to 15 minutes of wash, rinse, repeat, tight licking to come. If you want to get creative, try some of the combos from the boxing games of your childhood. But always remember to maintain rhythm throughout. The old cheat codes, i.e. up, up, down,

down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start. No! Where are B and A? Often produces great spasms for these girls. To keep yourself in rhythm, it sometimes helps to hum the repeated synthesized soundtracks from early video games in your head while you're doing this.

Chapter 8. 8-bit clitorises. 8-bit clitoris refers to the less sensitive ones With girls who have these less sensitive clitorises You can go ahead and pretend your tongue is the protagonist Of an open world gangster or auto theft game And the clitoris is a random civilian that you are beating in the game. Use your lips to push away her pussy lips and suck the clit right in your mouth. You can keep the clit in place by sucking a bit

and use your tongue to aggressively brush it back and forth. Be as creative as you want. Here's your chance to use some of those swarm strategies you've been working on while playing strategy games, where in this case your tongue and lips form the swarm. Mix in some boom, boom, boom flicks like you're providing cover fire in a modern warfare game. Chapter 9. The Final Boss.

If you've done everything correctly so far, you're ready to close in for the kill. You'll know you've reached the final level when her thighs are shaking like a shock pad controller after you've been hit a bunch of times. It's time for the creative techniques you've practiced so far to go out the window. creative techniques you've practiced so far to go out the window, just like most final bosses in video games require you to forget the tricks you've been doing all along and go back to repeatedly executing the basics. Getting a girl to orgasm requires going back to basics once you're almost there. Go back to lightly sucking the clit and give a sequence of solid but constant licks. Repeated up and down licking with your tongue is most effective. But mixing in a few side-to-side licks will keep your tongue from getting too tired.

Think about it like going in to punch the final boss a few times. The up and down licking. But taking a break to power up from time to time, the more relaxed side-to-side licks. You all with me so far? Chapter 10, game over. If she grabs you midway through and pulls you up, it may be because you're not doing a good job of getting her off. Don't worry too much about this. It happens to the best of us. And if you follow the instructions above, it most likely won't happen to you. But if it does, look at it as a learning experience and don't be too disappointed.

Communication is important during sex. And ask her to guide you through what she likes the next time you go down on her. Think of her instructions as watching a playthrough of a video game done by an expert. Remember, when you're ready and willing to eat pussy, there are always extra lies at the end of the game. You don't like this. I mean, because there's some advanced techniques here, but you guys probably don't want to hear those.

Do you guys want to hear the advanced techniques? Okay. All right. Okay, cool. All right. Chapter 11, advanced techniques, the double tap. If your girl is particularly adventurous, try lightly placing your thumb on her bum. Usually a girl will tell you this is something she wants I would not recommend trying it unless she gives you permission That seems fair When the thumb is in, gently do a double tap like you would on a video game controller The odd job

Just like the famous video game character Op opinions are sharply divided on this maneuver. While ass-to-mouth is not the most hygienic sexual maneuver, it can be highly intimate and sexy and allows people to indulge in certain kinks. Proceed with this at your own risk. And last and least, the blaster. Hold your tongue firmly in place like it is a blaster gun from an arcade shooting game or a hunting video game. Move it about as if you're shooting at different ducks or deer or alien baddies around the screen. The screen here referring to your lover's vulva.

This is a great way to take a break when your tongue has been exhausted. Shimmy Franks! Shimmy Franks. This stage looks like my brain. Let's check back on Mantra and see what she has to say. It'll get there.

It'll get there. At some point we're going to check back on Mantra. It's fine. Se tulee siihen. Jotain vaiheessa katsotaan taas monttua. Hei hei kaikki nyt humppaamaan, joukolla lattialle tanssaamaan. Ai ai lapikasta lattiaan, kipunat lentää kun humpataan. Hei hei, musta humpahuolet veitän, saamatta kukaan on luvujei. Kars, you the F+. Plannini oli perfeeksi. Onko tämä se, mitä te teette ihmisille,

jotka ovat elämyksellisiä tavoitteita sinua jatkaa? Sitten sitaat ja rauhoitat sen? Tiedätkö, kuinka paljon se pysyy tuntini? Luuletko, etten pysy vain siksi, että yritin teidät koko ajan luottamaan minun epäselväni? hurts my feelings. You think I don't hurt just because I was trying to turn you all into my unthinking slaves? This was supposed to be my finest moment. It was all so simple. I make you all read material of my choosing and as a result Finland conquers the planet. Yes, it suddenly was. It was a plan with two points.

Point A, they read material of my choosing. Point B, Finland conquers the planet. So after they read the things how does This plan didn't make any fucking sense How in the fuck can excuse me excuse me, please Put this plan forward more than that who didn't think there are 12 of us fucking here Why didn't somebody else say hey, wait a minute, this plan is fucking stupid. Don't blame me, I was busy.

I had to reach John Kitchen's website. Do you have any fucking idea how many words are on that website? Years, years of my life went into this. I read about garbage fetish, you motherfuckers. And all the time you told me that I was going to... What are you doing? Are you making a jerk-off motion right now? Are you making a FUCKING jerk-off motion? WE'VE GOTCHA FINLAND!

Thanks, Mantreth! Thanks, Mantreff! Thanks, Montreff! Thanks, Montreff! I want to give a couple of very quick thanks to the people in this room. I want to give a shout-out that I have not given up until this point to Mike back there. Mike! Setting all this video up so that you're not behind the fuck face with the camera. I was at a show, actually, on Thursday, and there was just, I mean, a guy, I mean, if you

see a guy that went to Gang of Four and he's got, like, a hundred photos of Red with some, like, shadow behind it, I was behind that fucking guy. I want to also give, fuck you, don't fucking do that shit. I want to give a big

thanks to everyone who Red and else was. Victor Laszlo right there. Victor Laszlo played your courier. Yay, Victor! Our poster is designed over there by Travis Ramsey. our poster is designed over there by Travis Ramsey. And of course,

she genuinely spends a lot of time on this. Give it up for Matras! Matras! From all of my readers and myself, this is the highlight of my year. I love being in this room with you people. I think you're all so very special. I would love to have you, to talk to you at the after party, because I don't get that chance while I'm at the show. I will be drunk tomorrow, but, you know, if you want to talk to a drunk me that's a possibility tomorrow

my name is Lemon you people are amazing thank you and please have an excellent night shirts both hit damn dog