The F Plus - live7b: F Plus Live 7 | Seattle, I Guess | Part 2

Episode Date: November 17, 2018

As is tradition, we return from the break drunker than we were when we started, which becomes really obvious in Lemon's failed introductions. But we've got more crap to read, and we're going to read it! In the end, the room shares what they've learned before being visited by a special guest who has an especially smelly message of peace. But first: more poetry! 6 more poems Some questions from r/witchcraft Recycling (a Christian Puppet Play) Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" To Drugs [a message of peace] And that's our seventh F Plus Live in the books, time for the karaoke party. Make sure you come next time!

Okay. Okay. Hey. I'm happy to be your fetish. I really am. Hey, F Plus Live. Poetry! Poetry! Poetry! It's time for more fucking poetry!

I've got these friends of mine. I've got my friend Boots Rangier I've got my friend Achilles Heelys I've got my friend Victor Laszlo I've got my friend Kumquatsop I've got my friend Adam Bozarth F Plus Live Let's get some poetry in this bitch! And now some more poetry from nwanimate.tv forums.

My name is Tite. That's spelled T-I-T-E. And my poem for you is called Weeping Willow. I sat beneath the willow tree and pondered on the day. Then the tree looked down on me and it began to say, How bad can life be? Oh, won't you tell me, young one? How your sorrows can be so free on a day with such a lovely sun.

Well, this much I will say. I care not for the sun above. For willow tree on this day, I have lost my love. Then it stared down at me. Did the willow tree.

Willow tree. Let me try that again. Did the willow tree. Fuck. Let me try that again. Let me try that again. Then it stared down at me. Did the willow tree. Didn't help. And to my surprise, it began to weep with me.

That's so deep. Hopper, glorious rule! What I think, by Vampire Nephilim, everyone thinks, everyone says I'll never make it. Dreams are only meant for sleeping. But I know if I take one step at a time time I'll be the one on the top of the succession I'll show them I can be better than I am I'll prove I'm not just another mistake

I don't care what people say cause truly I just don't give a damn I'll prove I'm not just another fake I'm gonna take life head on I'm not just another fake. I'm going to take life head on. I'm not stopping for anything. All you disclaimers, just be gone. I'm going to be the best I can. It's just another one-night stand.

Me and my dreams, we're in it together. And yet I'm all alone it seems but that's okay. I'm gonna throw your insults away. I'm gonna run from you and face life fast. I'm gonna keep dreaming. Do what I gotta do

without falling into the dirt. I'm gonna achieve my goals. I'm gonna soar into my dreams. Scratch out all the rules and make life better than it truly is shown. Because I'm laying the cards down nice and slow.

Not going to slow down because my chance is the throne. But I cast my worries away and save them for another day. I'm gonna be the best I am. And that's all I have to say. Yay! Jimmy Franks!

Jimmy Franks! Jimmy Franks! We just got Jimmy Franks. This crazy piece is called Improv in the Post-Reply Screen. By God! Time down, no, child. Grind down, no.

Mild, ferocious finder. Finding a diner that serves companionship at the devil's hour. Our daily bread is deserved, conserved, and preserved for better days. Dying days. And settlers age in ill-gotten Eden. Seeding land not. Meaning damn shot me. Dot, dot, dot.

Stam sticks. And drink of God's Antigone. not meaning damn shot me dot dot dot stam sticks and drink of God's Antigone eat the meat of God communion is reunion with codfish all yourself a codfish crocodiles and sock hops rocks and hot box in it. Fucking bike

cops. Who knew? How? Ew. Shoo shoo bird. Due on the morning ground. Due on the dying fields. Who's on the wall? Praying to God like so many caterpillars and fatter pillars. Rome

is Rome 1! to God like so many caterpillars and fatter pillars. Rome is... Rome... One! Yeah! Tomes minus time plus water divided by hindsight imagine angels being devils surrounding thoughts

of karma and arms races. That's why you puff like cuz, because you never... That's why we puff, lie, cuz you never know when you're gonna go. Hey, Victor! Yes? What's your poem called? Yes

Poems about Bitcoin Yay Yay From steam it.com Yay, Bitcoin! Yay. From Steemit.com. Are you sick of governments having far too much control? Yeah! With the power to print money to fill the debt black hole,

the power to control you and tell you what to do, like Iraq, Afghanistan, and quantitative easing too. The system of control they use to keep you in line is worthless fiat money and inflation over time. Who makes all our money and why is it created? And is it really true? Can it be exponentially inflated? You know, Lemon, this has some of the best scansion of any FLS film. Instead of blaming bankers, step up to the plate.

Take responsibility for rolling back the state. They preach about the free market, but I think it's a fraud. Because I read the evidence at gata.org. The power of the internet is an incredible tool for learning, sharing, and trying to look cool. It's free from all the bureaucrats and effectively lawless.

But look at how amazing it is and all that it has brought us. It's freedom, efficiency, and open source nature mean a lot more possibilities and a lot less wasted paper. That's called slant rhyme. Open source projects can create an abundance of tools. Faith and status quo is the ignorance of fools. It benefits everyone to push open source further. This poem

you are reading is from a Linux server. Apparently meter is for suckers. Bitcoin is an open source cryptocurrency. A new type of money in its infancy. It's a little bit hard to get your head around, but it's already worth more than one British pound.

worth more than one British pound. Bitcoin is a ridiculous idea that couldn't possibly work. You said that five years ago about Wikipedia, you jerk. I'm not going to drop Jimmy's microphones. Hello. Hello. Purple Roses. By Street Kong.

When I was in the field, I was blue. Because the faith in me was untrue. The sun disappeared. It was all too soon. The light disappeared. And was all too soon. The light disappeared. And I saw the moon! The clouds cover the moon. And the light fades away.

The field is dark, to my dismay. Will this be the end for today? No! The heart in me starts to fade away. I do not know why, but my heart has died. I am like a coffin with a dead man inside. In the coffin I am alone. Yet like an omen find a hole I take a peep what do I seek the heart in me decides to beat am I alive or a piece of meat? The hole is bright, I feel the heat.

Through the clouds, that's the light. The moon is fighting, it shines so bright. It reaches me, what a sight. But why am I in such a fright? Is she a friend? Or is she waiting for a chance to strike? She defeats the cloud. What a majestic sight. But my heart beats so hard, I am starting to see bright lights. It might be too late to see her, for my day has gone to night. Oh, dear me, I have lost my might. Good night.

I wake up in the morning. Could this be true? I am not dead. Why? I have no clue. I look at the sky. I see a message. From purple to blue, your word true. My life belongs in the sky. I see a message. From purple to blue, your word true. My life belongs in the sky,

but my heart belongs to you. Come, Quat. Zop! Come, Quat. Zop! So, here's the thing. Us in the F Plus podcast have different roles in an F Plus live show. There's different roles that we have.

I am the guy that talks things. And then Adam Bozarth did a whole lot of work for this thing, oh so did Montreth Boots does a bunch of stuff, so does Jimmy Franks and when Kumquat Stop was reading Jimmy Franks invited me to look at the waveform

it's not a wave, it's just a square. I think his peas were popping. So what it looks like when Kumquat stop reads is that and Jimmy Franks asked me, and I

believe genuinely, does he know that there's a microphone? Yes! Hey, F+, it's probably the time that we should go to Reddit. Yes! Never go to Reddit. Never go to Reddit. Never, never go to Reddit. Not this time. Never, never go to Reddit.

Alright, so these are some questions from r slash Reddit. r slash reddit. r slash wishcraft. I'm like five beers in. So what's up? r slash witchcraft? My name is the Thought Thickens.

And I should say the Thought Thickens. Something happened during a spell. I was performing a revenge spell against my abusive lying, cheating ex-boyfriend. Uh-huh. It was nothing big. I just burned

an ordinary piece of paper with his name written on it. I have done this spell several times before, but nothing like this has ever happened. The fire had pretty much done its part, and the paper was nothing more

than a charred clump of ash. I was about to turn away when I noticed the paper was beginning to glow baby blue. It wasn't the whole thing. It was the glowing in random spots, but really slow, like a wave. It was the glowing in random spots,

but really slow, like a wave. It would glow dark blue, then baby blue, then almost white until it died, down and moved to another spot in the clump, and repeated the same thing again. Thoughts? Thank you.

Hey, I'm Cassie 3PO. I'm Cassie 3PO. It sounds to me like the normal chemical reaction of burning paper. I'm the faster far man. I hope you did not get too distracted and continued your visualization during the afterglow. Should enhance the spell work. Hi, my name is AstroStar89.

I've got a question, Reddit. What are some curses I can put on someone? They have caused way too many headaches for me. So I'm TawotiRunner5. So I'm TawotiRunner5. If you can't talk to them like an adult to adult, or this is a stalker or a possible violent person situation, help yourself before considering casting.

Go to police, etc, dot, dot, dot. If you've done that and still feel spelling casting is needed, I'd suggest the banishing spells for their toxicity or freezer spells to get them to chill out doing whatever it is that's causing the problem. I fucking hate this so much. I did a combo of both once for when a roommate publicly stated that I was summoned a demon to rape her. This was in a... I've kicked you out twice, man.

Yeah. Think about the scansion, Lemon. This was in a small town college in Texas with more churches than restaurants. I took legal means to stop the slander with campus administrators. Then I did a spell for maximum effort so all my bases were covered.

Two weeks later, all drama stopped. I found out later she married the first guy she dated and moved three states away. God show! God show! God show! God show! God show! God show! God show! God show! God show!

Hi, Victor. Timing. Earth Mother here. PM me if you would still like some curses. Curses. This is B and branches. I'm looking for a curse to cast. Hello, before you ask, I have very much thought about

why I want to do something with negative intent. I am 100% positive that this person deserves everything but positive energies. So I was wondering if anyone has any curses or hexes they feel that they are reliable. Thank you. Blessings to you all. Yeah, this is true, Riptide.

Yeah, if you think you're able to do it, you can lay powder over their office space and the things they'll touch. You know, cayenne pepper powder, chili powder, lemon pepper. I don't know, cornstarch or flour as a base. I mean, if you're not able to do that, you can make a poppet. I find sympathetic magic easier to do and harder to detect, and you won't need to explain whatever you're doing if you get caught laying the powder, LOL.

Oh, man, make a poppet of them. Stuff them with their name or birth date, the powder ingredients above anything sharp, you know, broken shards of glass or plastic, et cetera, and cobwebs, insect husks. Sew it all up and make a cardboard box that'll be their coffin. Put dirt inside. Lay the poppet in it. Put dog or cat feces on

top of it. And just close the box and bury it anywhere that isn't your property. Alright. Hey y'all. This here is Whale R Us, one, two, three, a.k.a. Dollar Pane. Y'all make me want to get some chicken on, y'all.

All right, good night. My name is Dear Kitty. There's nothing wrong with cursing in my book As I always say And then Dear Kitty Lists a link to all of their curses The Silent Hill curse The Vanity Breaking curse Hearts of My Enemies curse

Friends on the Other Side curse Lilo's Punishment curse Maleficent's Revenge curse Po other side curse, Lilo's punishment curse, Maleficent's revenge curse, poison apple curse, pins and needles curse, storm witch's curse to amplify problems in a relationship, a simple pit curse, a curse for those who've abused you, your joy will turn to ashes is the name of the curse. Elsa's lunar punishment curse revenge curse cage jalapeno hush puppies poppers curse a curse to make people see that the true nature of someone. Lollipop curse won. The wrath of Sauron curse. Be nice.

Stinging binding curse. Releasing the hounds. Releasing the hounds. Gabriel's candy curse. The curse of arrows. SPN iron binding curse. The wordless curse. Jalapeno Bloody Mary Curse,

Bones' Bubble Bursting Slash Binding Curse Jar, A Curse of Intent, Not One of Us Curse, Wrath's Bad Luck Curse, Never Had a Friend Like Me, Son of a bitch, colon, Dean Winchester curse. I'm just gonna show myself out.

Storm Witches in All My Dreams I Drown curse. The quote I'm just your problem curse the quote a little priest curse why did why'd you have to go and turn to ice curse night of the hunter curse dragon age cursing cloud the weeding curse curse for the abusive relative curse of the warriors curse of the special curse jar ryuko's daniel in the den curse abaddon's curse against sexual

harassment strex pet curse quick curses curse for a non-haters Ignorance is your new best friend curse Morgans, I hate you, get out of my life curse Hocus pocus curse By all means, panty away curse To send forth enemies to your enemy curse Rapunzel's anti-intruder curse Kitchen witch cursing. Sassy Spock's live long and prosper curse.

Lunar eclipse curse to the brink of death. A song by John Donne. The witch of the wastes, very customizable curse version. A curse for loneliness and isolation. Disney curse series, colon, hellfire.

Rose's perfume bottle curse. The curse of the golden chrysanthemum. All these are available from Dear Kitty. You have heart, colon, a curse. A curse for a large group. Cons, punishment curse. Cons, fear and intimidation curse. Fatten the bear curse.

Mirror box binding To learn a lesson Eat your words Making cursed stones He had it coming You're an asshat And you need to realize it You fucking piece of garbage Spell fucking piece of garbage spell.

Hey, F+. Hey, London! Would you like to hear a story about puppets doing crack fantastic this story is called Recycling. It's by Puppet to Puppet Productions. There's a couple of puppets that are involved in this. And the most important thing is that we need to make sure that we read the descriptions of the puppets that are involved in this story. What do you got, Stock? Oh, boy. Okay. what do you got stock uh oh boy um okay over the years we've gotten a lot of thank you notes from

puppet groups who witness in inner city neighborhoods don't judge this play yet. Yeah, I haven't even gotten to the racist part. Well, here's our way of saying you're welcome. A script specially tailored for the unique circumstances and uniquely challenging audiences these groups face. No prefab puppets required.

All you need is a few everyday materials that can be found at your local crack house. And a big dose of imagination. Ha ha. So the play is called Recycling, and it's a one-act Christian-themed puppet play. Here are the materials.

One empty condom wrapper. Use your imagination. Two small crack pipes. One used condom. Don't bother rinsing? Kids of all backgrounds love gross-out humor. Oh, Jesus wept. And several empty crack vials. The characters are Mr. McGillicuddy, middle-aged man,

placed condom wrapper over index and middle finger, optionally poked two holes in wrapper face for eyes. Corey, 10-year-old boy Hold crack pipe upright with thumb and index finger bowl and down with thumb and index finger bowl and down. And Madison, Corey's five-year-old sister, also a crack pipe. Play opens with Corey and Madison center stage. Mr. McGillicuddy enters stage left. As he moves stage center, he is holding the condom like a trash bag,

picking up crack vials he finds along the way and dropping them into the bag. Now hold on, there's a note for the puppeteer. Hold condom between thumb and base of index finger while picking up vials between ring and pinky fingers. This sounds tricky. I don't want to do that. And it is at first, but after a few weeks daily practice, it will come naturally and really adds to the magic of the performance. Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy.

Oh. Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy. Oh! Hello, Madison. Hello, Cory. What are you kids doing out here in front of a school on a Saturday afternoon? I had ballet lessons at the art center. I had soccer practice till one and then oh one at a time we're exchanging bashful looks right they are indeed well kylie's mommy dropped me off here after ballet lessons. And Corey was already waiting here

after soccer practice. And pretty soon our mom... What? Oh, my mommy! My mommy will be here to take us to a pool party at Andrew's house and, hey, what are

you doing out here on a Saturday afternoon? Shouldn't you be at the Volvo dealership selling cars to mommies and daddies? No, Madison. Today's my day off. Then why aren't you home relaxing instead of walking down the street picking up empty soda cans? What the fuck? Silly. He's going to take them back to the Trader Vic's and turn them in for money to buy a great big grande mocha with extra whipped cream on top.

Aren't you, Mr. McGillicuddy? Not quite, Madison. Not quite, Madison. I'm going to take these cans straight to the recycling center for no money at all. What? To do my bit for the environment. Fuck y'all! Hey, I said yay! Oh.

The... The... Curse Cycling Center? What's that? Joby! The Recycling Center! It's where they take the old cans and bottles and newspapers and stuff and they bury them like a million miles underground

so they go away and they never come back. Well... Well... Um... Well... Uh... so they go away and they never come back. Well, um, well, uh, close, yes. Not exactly, Corey. You see, recycling, gosh, how do I explain it? Think, think, think. Kids, remember when your dad's lease on the V40 expired and he brought it in

and drove away with a brand new V70? Remember that? Yes, of course we all do. We were all there. Corey and Madison exchange big grins and nod. Well, recycling sort of like that.

Mr. McGillicuddy looks at the kids expectantly. They exchange blank looks, then look back at him silently. What? Do something! Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Shut up. This is going to be tougher than I thought. Okay. Pulls a crack vial out of a condom. Oh, my God!

Where do you keep your crack? This is a soda can. I'm bad at crack. It's made of a metal called aluminum. Like petroleum and many, many other mineral products, aluminum is what we call a

non-renewable resource. Unlike petroleum, however, aluminum is what we call reusable. That means however, aluminum is what we call reusable. That that means that through a combination of advanced

metallurgical technologies and enlightened federal, state, and municipal waste management policies, we can Mr. McGillicuddy? What? Effect a limited

but meaningful recuperation of the material inputs into the consumer-targeted packaging process. In other words... Mr. McGillicuddy? What is it, Madison? Well, well, is... Re-cy-co-ling?

Yes. Is it like when we open our hearts to Jesus and are born again to him? Slowly, gazing at the girl in wonder and admiration. Why, yes, Madison. Yes, it is. Yes, it is! A thoughtful pause. Cool. Cool.

Can we help? Yeah Can we? Police Sure kids Come on Cory and Madison Cory and Madison Rush Mr. McGillicuddy

Grabbing crack vials and tossing them Sloppily into the condoms, scuffling over access to it. Woo-hoo! Oh, God, don't stop. Hey, hello. One at a time. One at a time. Both at a time, yes? Laughter and giggles enveloped the little group. time. Both at the time, yes? Laughter

and giggles envelop the little group. It comes covered up in crack piles and whatever else is in there. Laughter builds to a crescendo. The end. I'm sorry we ran out of

time. The end. I'm sorry we ran out of time. Alright, F+. This is a very important story that all of you should be aware of. And this story is called Latonya the Naughty Horse learns to say no to drugs.

It is basically everyone in this. Yeah. Yeah. The green room was very crowded. It is less crowded now because Latonya the naughty horse is about to learn how to say no to drugs.

It's pretty ironic, huh? I know this isn't the place for poetry. I know. But a poem. Drugs. Drugs. Using drugs will kill So be for real

Using drugs is not a good idea You can call me names And you can talk about me too I don't use drugs And neither should you. The thing about that is that I had some really good scansion.

It's meter when you say it out loud, my friend. Scansion is only when you're reading, folks. Meter is the vocals. Anyway, excuse me. Also, fuck you. Once upon a time, there was a very naughty horse.

Her name was Latonya, and she would always do things she saw others doing latonya did not care whether the things she saw were right or wrong she would just be a naughty horse and do latonya the naughty horse lived in a quiet little country not far from a small town latonya had a very large family She had seven sisters and one brother named Gregory. One warm and sunny day in the spring, LaTanya the Nautilus and two of her sisters wanted to go outside and play in the woods. So her sisters, LaToya and Daisy,

asked their mother, Sylvia father James Horse if they could go outside to play. Yes, you may go outside and play, said Mother Horse, but please get home before sundown so you can do your chores. The three sisters promised to get home before sundown. They were happy to go outside to play, so they ran into the woods as fast as they could. Latonya, the naughty horse, and her two sisters played many fun horse games there. Suddenly, Latoya heard a scary noise in the bushes. Did you hear that noise?

She asked her two sisters. Yes, said Daisy Horse. I heard the noise. Latonya, the naughty horse, then made the same scary noise as they had heard in the bushes. Ah! Mother and father horse told us

to use our own minds, said Daisy horse to her sister Latonya. Latonya, you shouldn't be doing things you see others doing, she continued. Latonya, the naughty horse, was just like the old saying, Monkey see, monkey do. Yeah, exactly.

She did everything she saw others doing. The noise Latanya made scared away whatever... scared away whatever... The noise Latanya made scared everyone away from whatever was in the bushes, so the three sisters kept playing in the woods. A little while later,

they heard another noise, but it was not... But it was not scary this time. The three sisters looked towards the bushes and saw four horses from the town. The other horses came over to Latanya and her sisters.

They said, Hi, will you please play with us? Yes, we will play with you, said Latanya. Let us introduce ourselves to you. The strange horses said, My name is Connie, and these are my sisters, Crystal, Jackie, and Angie. They all said hi. And Latonya introduced her sisters and herself to the strange horses.

Connie, the oldest horse, said, Let's play a smoking game and a drinking game. And if you want to play a smoking game and a drinking game, you can go to fall. Or just get with me after the show. Anyway. No way, said Daisy and Latoya. We do not smoke or drink. Connie started smoking drugs and drinking.

And Connie's sisters also started smoking drugs and drinking. So when Latanya, the naughty horse, saw Connie smoking drugs and drinking, Latanya started smoking drugs and drinking too. No, Latanya. You should not smoke or drink, Daisy and Latanya said, remembering what their mother and father had told them about drinking and smoking drugs. Then Daisy slapped the alcohol and the drugs out of Latanya's hoof. Fucking dark? and the drugs out of Latonya's hoof. Latonya soon found out that smoking and drinking

were not as good or easy as they looked when Connie was smoking drugs and drinking, considering their lack of opposable thumbs. Give me that shit, boy. Latanya, the naughty horse, started feeling sick and dizzy from the drug smoke and alcohol.

I feel sick to my stomach, said Latanya. I feel very dizzy. You should have said no. You should not do things just because you see others doing them, said Daisy to Latanya. You know Mom and Dad told us all about smoking, drinking, and drugs, continued Daisy Horse. If anyone tries to get you to smoke, drink, or do drugs, just say no way. Connie, the oldest horse, wasn't satisfied.

She wanted Latoya and Daisy to smoke drugs and drink also. Connie said to Daisy and Latoya, You are square. You... Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie! Connie! Me! Me! You cannot be with us because you won't smoke or drink.

Daisy and Latonya Horse did not care what they called them. They did not smoke drugs or drink. Daisy said to Connie, We do not want to be with you because you are bad. Smoking drugs is bad and drinking is harmful to the body. Daisy Horse said to Latonya Horse, I hope you've learned a lesson. Smoking and drinking is not okay,

said Latoya to Naughty Horse Latonya. It's harmful to the body, said Daisy to Naughty Latanya We are going to tack you home And tell mother and daddy horse All about the bad horses we met And we're going to tell mother and daddy horse All about the bad horses we met

And what they tried to do What they tried to get us to do We are going to tell mom and dad What you were smoking drugs and drinking with those bad horses. Please don't tell on me, said LaTanya, crying.

I won't drink or smoke drugs anymore. Daisy said, I am so sorry, Latonya. We must tell Mom and Dad Horse on you for your own good. Oh. Daisy Horse and Latoya Horse took naughty Latonya Horse home. They told their mother and father about the bad horses they met in the woods.

Mother Horse and Daddy Horse were both happy and sad. They were happy about... You're a fucking writer! They were happy. I believe if you take a look at the illustration, it's fucking clear. Yep. The duality of horse illustrated. It is.

They were happy about Latoya and Daisy being smart enough to say, No. What? No. smart enough to say no. What? They were sad because Latanya was naughty.

She did not listen to them. She did what she saw the other horses doing. Mother horse and daddy horse explained to Latanya how drinking and smoking drugs is harmful to the body and the brain. Latanya, drugs are bad for you, said Mother and Father Horse.

I had a friend who secretly took drugs, said Father Horse. He accidentally took an overdose and died, said Father Horse. If he had only listened to me, continued Father Horse, he would be alive today. I told him to stop taking drugs because drugs could kill. So, Latonya promised she would never smoke drugs or drink alcohol

again, no matter who she saw smoking or drinking. Mother and father, I heard some horses talking about how good drugs and alcohol make you feel, said Latanya. But mom and dad, today I personally learned that drugs and alcohol don't make me feel good at all. Mother and

father, I also heard some horses talking about getting high. I didn't know what they were talking about, so I asked them what getting high meant. They told me it meant using all kinds of drugs. Mother and Father, I think they had their words mixed up. They should say getting low means using all kinds of drugs. And boots with the fur. Sorry.

You know, LaTanya, benzos are not an accurate substitute. I feel so bad and low after I use drugs. Mother and Father, I'm so glad you explained drugs to me. We are happy to learn that you'll never use drugs again. Said Mother and Father Horse, who somehow sounded more medicated than Latonya. I will never use any drugs again, said Latanya. Mother and father, if anyone ever offers me drugs, I know to say no way. I learned personally that drugs are a no-no, said Latanya, the naughty horse.

Latanya's mother and father smiled with delight. They were happy about their little Latonya learning to say no way to drugs. So Mother Horse, Sylvia, and Father Horse, James, gave Latonya a big kiss and a big hug for learning to say no way to drugs. Hey losers, it's me, the person who wrote this shit. My name is Sylvia Scott Gibson and I was born on August 14th, 1953 in Mound Bayou, Mississippi. I mean, she has worked previously with Handicapped Children and is currently a co-inventor. She's invented a crazy way for horses to hold a joint. Do not steal my horse joint. I mean, she lives in Long Beach, California

with her husband and six of her eight children and enjoys writing poetry and children's stories. The author would like to thank God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God, everyone. So, Latanya the naughty horse taught you how to stop taking drugs.

And you're welcome. You're welcome. And this is, hang on one second, this is a question that I have asked many, many, many times, but I want to ask this in a different way. I want to ask this in a different way, because that's never something that I've opened up. There's so much garbage on this stage.

So there's a question that I, at this point, want to ask you. And that question is... F Plus audience, what do you think

you've learned tonight? I've been drugged from a crazy horse. You don't have the, what do you think you've learned tonight? I'm doing drugs for a crazy horse. You don't have the microphone, do you? What do you think you've learned tonight? I learned about myself and also what it means to be me. Yeah, and also how to really express myself, whether it's with a ghost or like saying no to drugs.

Oh my God. Wow, that's so excellent. What do you think you learned tonight? I'm sorry, what your name is? My name's Tara. Yeah, what have you learned tonight, Tara? How deeply humans are willing to debase themselves. We'll fucking fly

to Seattle of our own money to read adult baby poems. That's how much we're willing to debase ourselves. What have you learned tonight? I learned that booze is good

and literature is bad. That's true. That's true. Both things are true. Both things are true. Both things are true. Has anyone else learned something? I want to teach. Okay, yes, you've learned something.

Your name is? Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Jack Chick. Kick Chris out. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's Chris. Please kick Chris out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chris, please kick Chris out. Yeah. Chris wants you to invest in Bitcoin. Please kick Chris out.

There you go. There you go. Has anyone else learned anything from this? Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. All right. Hand this to them, please. And what's your name, sir? Sam.

Sam, what have you learned, Sam? I learned that the best people at writing poetry are the most sexual and fetishistic ones. To that end, my poems are not very good. I can't get that far back. Please come up to me. Please come up to me. Please come up to me. I'm so sorry.

Your name is, your name is, there we go. You're good. Okay. What's your name? I'm Beelzebub. Beelzebub. And what have you learned today, Beelzebub? I just, I really feel like you accomplished your goal.

I've really reconnected with the Lord. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You know, I like slutty girls, and I think this will be a good start. Hit me up after the show. This will be fantastic.

What's your name? What's your name? Stephanie. What did you learn today, Stephanie? I have learned that Christian puppetry is worse than VeggieTales. Holy shit. Worse than VeggieTales. Oh my God. Okay, I've got probably about three more things we can learn today.

What's your name? Rowan. Rowan. Rowan, what have you learned today? Brad never fucking loved me You know what? You're right You're absolutely right Brad never loved you

But here's the thing Bunny bread never loved you either But he'll pretend for a night Oh my god yeah For an hour Tops Alright I got a couple more things What have you learned? What have you learned?

What's your name? Oh uh Shell game Shell game What have you learned today? Shell game? I have you learned? What's your name? Oh, Shell Game. Shell Game. What have you learned today, Shell Game? I learned that this has been some of the best scansion in the poetry. Don't worry, I'll kick myself out.

Take her with you. Take her with you. Take her with you, please. I'm going to do two more. Two more, two more. What's your name? Joan. Joan, what have you learned today, Joan? Jesus gives me the biggest orgasms.

Now, now, that's the thing. That's the thing. I'm not denying the orgasms that Jesus has given you have been good. But if you've never been Eiffel Towered by myself and Bunny Bread...

I mean, genuinely, whichever way you like it. Whichever way you like it. I'll wear a fucking mask. It's fine. So, I think you might be the last thing that we've learned. What's your name? My name is Zoe. Zoe, what have you learned today, Zoe?

I learned that I love hugs, not drugs. Now. Chipper out! Chipper out! Chipper out! Chipper out! I don't know if you've ever heard of gateway drugs. I mean, but we can start with the hugs and just see where it goes from there. We've done this live show for a number of years.

And this particular year, we brought it to Seattle because of a couple things things there was a couple reasons why we wanted to bring it to seattle yeah minneapolis does not have legal weed we will participate tonight but anyway so That's one thing but the other thing is that Here's the thing Washington State Has the most Bigfoot sightings In the entire

In the entire country I'm sorry you're absolutely right I used a hateful word and I'm sorry I used a slur And a hateful word and I'm sorry. I used a slur and a pejorative and I am sorry. Washington State Well now I'm, well now you're just

approving the place that, now you're just approving the place you live in. So Washington State has had the most Bigfoot sightings of any place. I'm getting so much applause right now. This feels really good. Washington State has had so many Bigfoot sightings of any play. I'm getting so much applause right now. This feels really good. Washington State has had so many Bigfoot sightings, and I wanted to come here because I thought that in doing this thing,

we would have Bigfoot attend our – What are you talking about right now? Sam Squish. Sam Squish. Sam Squish. There's a Bigfoot behind you! Sorry, what? A Bigfoot behind me?

Behind me? Hey! I don't actually see a Bigfoot behind me. Okay, anyway, what I wanted to say to you is that while I wanted to summon a Bigfoot, we haven't, and that's fine. Oh, my God! Sasquatch, is that you?

Sasquatch, what brings you here today? Sasquatch, have you been at the show the entire night? Sasquatch, have you been at the show the entire night? Sasquatch, what did you think? Sasquatch, I've been wanting to ask you this question for 10 years. Sasquatch. How was Joan Ocean? Yeah! Get him!

Do you understand the platform of Cloud Atlas? Are you DGF? Sasquatch. Sasquatch. Shut up. Sasquatch. What have you learned tonight?

Lemon, this is a question you've been asking for almost a decade now, and the truest answer is closer than you think. All this time, the F-plus has been trying to find meaning in all these disparate people. People who think that fingerless gloves make you look cool, which they don't. People who think they can make music sound better by having small, expensive rocks, which they can't. People who think that there is an entire civilization of ageless Sasquatch like myself, Who think that there is an entire civilization of ageless Sasquatch like myself who communicate with farts. Which is absolutely 100% true.

Farts are the most effective way to communicate. So Sasquatch, farts are the most... Silence. The constant in all of this podcast, man, is the people around you. Because it is your love for all of this insane material that has been the real joy of the whole endeavor. It's your mutual love for this dumb crap that has strengthened friendships and created so many new ones. It's helped people to feel less isolated in their own lives, and it's given a much-needed catharsis to some people who are truly hurting.

It's the reason these strangers have gathered in Seattle. For this, despite most of you being at best serviceable performers, it's the reason why many of them will be here tomorrow for the after party.

It's hopefully the reason why a couple of people are getting laid tonight. But people, it's really just about this. All of us here together in this room, and that's why, in the words of

my people, I say unto you... Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. The only thing I have left to do at this exact moment is to give some thanks. And I need to give some thanks to a couple of people.

There's a couple of important people that I want to thank. One of them is not here today, but her name is Matrith! But her name is Madrith. Fantastic and provided so much of the material that we have here today. The other one who is fucking sober. He is a sober human being right now.

Jimmy Franks has been drinking water this entire day. Specifically for your pleasure. Another one. I don't know if he's backstage, but Boots! Boots, please come out here. Boots! Boots! Boots! My friend for so many years, and, and, and, if you liked the show that we put together today, there's actually one major person that you need to thank,

and that person is Adam Bozarth! Adam Bozarth! I would have gotten it away with it, too, if it weren't for your stupid little podcast. Genuinely, like, and I recognize that the thing that we do is dumb, and I recognize the thing that we do is sideways, and I recognize the thing that we do is sideways. And I recognize the thing that we do is objectively stupid.

And it fucking is. But the fact that we can do these kind of things and you can follow us through these things is always so very humbling to me. And always something that I personally feel so very strongly about. And so while I would love to hang out with you so much, and I fucking will because you're going to come to karaoke tomorrow, but here's the

thing. Everyone in this room is so very special to me. My name is Lemon! You people are fantastic! Thank you and please have a very good night. That's Frank West. That's Sog That's Bunny Bread That's Jack Chick

That's Boots Rangier That's Kump Quatsop That's J.W. Freeman That's Victor Laszlo That's Akira Seelies That is Adam Bozarth That is Nutshell Gulag. Okay.

And that is Jimmy Franks. If you enjoyed this night a tenth as much as I did, then I'm so very glad, and you deserve to pay me more money for that. Thank you very much. Have a very good night. If you haven't already, please tip your servers.