The F Plus - shorts2010: Shorts Bonanza 2010

Episode Date: September 11, 2010

Back in 2010, we had a bunch of shorts up in the feed, all of which were accompanied with a plug for the first F Plus Live. Then when we switched the site over, those files were taken out of the feed. Well, Djeser was kind enough to stitch all these shorts together with some music, so now you can listen to the Gucci Mane Race War just like when Ke$ha was still a thing. Oh, the progress we've made! SHORTS INCLUDED: Gucci Man Race War This six minute short explores the curious case of a race war breaking out on YouTube just from people watching the video for Gucci Mane's song Lemonade. Here Come The Metalheads This fourteen minute episode has our ridiculists taking on the YouTube comments comments for a video of Metallica's Enter Sandman. Let's Settle This Religion Thing In nearly 20 minutes, we're going to try to solve the question of whether or not God exists. My Grey Baby This woman thinks she has been impregnated by a grey. Is she right? Yeah, probably. Sybil At The Movies In this thirty minute episode, we're going to read the opinions of a man who is not in control of his mental faculties, and ends up writing strange essays instead.

Hey folks, this is Lemon with a first in a series of YouTube shorts. This is the comments for a video by Gucci Mane called Lemonade. It's a bad song, he's a bad rapper. But it's the comments for a rap video. So presumably all of the comments will be about I like this, I don't like this, because I can't imagine what other things people would be saying in response to

this video. Your mother skunt dotin like fuck white bitch. Don't be here dissing black people. Asshole razzist. Im from the Caribbean.

And im black bitch. M from the Caribbean and M Black Bitch. The USA is full of pure asses who has no... What? Stop. This ass is 99.9% pure. Who has no damn

sense whatsoever. Give black people a favor and kiss our black ass oolow life. Got nothing hungry, dying, skunt, Got nothing. Hungry. Dying.

Skunt. Whole. We know what the fuck happened to the white ass who write the comment. I see. Oh, that clears it up. Very angry caveman. Trust me, you need a

vaccine for stupidity. Don't stop stupidity before it starts. You won't be stupid, but then you'll have Asperger's. Why won't somebody... Oh, why won't somebody inject me with some stupidity? Well, no, it has to be dead stupidity. Sort of a low dosage.

Yeah. And reply back, let me put some Caribbean words up in your mother skunt hole. Do they not understand what a mailbox is? No, I was hoping to get some Caribbean words up in my mother skunt hole. Just open up the skunt hole and shout Caribbean words into it. Rice and beans!

Beanhoots! Steel drum! Peanuts. Steel drum. I'm really also pleased that that sentence had no periods. It was just a lot of commas. Excuse me, there was an ellipsis right there halfway through.

That was making up for all the previous periods that weren't there. Yeah, you put all the periods in the middle together. I figure it was about three sentences worth here. That'll work. Jimmy Buffett! I'm taking Crystal. together. I figure it was about three sentences worth here. That'll work. They're having a party. Jimmy Buffett! I'm taking Crystal Mitchell Cullen.

I'm not trying to be racist or anything because I am not racist, but I would like to say that people need to quit breaking up the quote slavery days. If they really do have to. The so-called. quit bringing up the quote slavery days unquote. If they really do have to.

The so-called. It happened in past generations and we can't help it that our ancestors did the thing they did and on behalf of them, I would like to apologize. People should have hatred towards the right ways for what happened in the past. What's done is done.

Can't we all just get along, please, Samuil? Peace, love, happiness. That's funny. That's interesting. I want to take that. Do you want it? I want PPP, man. Gucci got the most

fucking haters on YouTube WTF. If you don't like him, it's simple. Just don't comment or watch the video. Get real. Gucci main hell. And where all this shit coming from? Gucci

slow. Get the fuck out of here. I can't understand his music just fine. And if you can't, then you must be slow in the head. Gucci man successful. I bet Gucci man glad he got so many haters on

YouTube! Let alone the real world haters! Haters! Haters! on YouTube! YouTube! Let alone the real world. Haters! Haters! Haters! Just wasting your time, Gucci Mane. Best rapper alive, 1017 Brick Squad!

That says Brick Scout. 1017 Brick Scout! Wow. Just, I mean, having heard as much of a Gucci Mane video as I can stand, the idea that somebody actually typed out Gucci Mane best rapper alive. Does he think everyone else died? Like, I get that Tupac's dead, but he didn't take everyone with him.

This is a song by a band called Metallica. Oh, I've heard of them. They're going to make it big, I think, sometime. I know these guys. They did a shit. What was it? Right there. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's a popular song by Metallica called Enter Sandman. Um, so presumably we've never heard of these guys that I'm saying they're popular. We're just living in a little bubble. We're not familiar with them. Oh, so presumably, presumably every comment, um, is, is going to be about the song um so i guess what we're going to do is is uh you just go and pick whatever whatever clip about the song you want to have be your opinion do you want to be my opinion

just just take whatever whatever you want i'm going to start things off with save the dance oh nine i have a comment for wtf bro 1000 wow are you a racist pig or are you just stupid i don't remember this discussion about it being if i it being i'm female which i by the way i am or if i'm black which by the way i am am, or if I'm black, which, by the way, I am not, this just shows that you are desperate for attention when it's unattractive and rather sad. Save the stupidity for someone else. I am officially finished dealing with

your babyish antics. This is called me walking away before I destroy your sorry ass. This is not, I repeat, not called you winning. Can I really quick and really quickly just say what WTF Bro 1000's post was? Oh, sure, yeah. As I have it right here.

So just for the record, he says, Gay-ass shit pussies listen to Bieber. Fucking assholes. Metallica is gay niggers. All of them? Because I've checked. I've slept with a lot of them. I wouldn't call them gay. Oh, holy shit. No, this guy

went on a tirade. He's really been busy. Go to page five. Oh, man. And he's got a post that says, Fuck you all! I'm winning! He's got a point. He did say winning.

He called shotgun. All right. Yeah, take whatever one you like. Well, I want Trick Poppy who is shortened to the point and really keeping on topic when he says Brock Lesnar

is there anyone who can do like a really good cheerleader type voice because I think I found the perfect comment for that you say Justin Bieber, I say NCT. That's like 10 places in here. That's 10 places? Yeah, it's like

the YouTube comment equivalent of a chain letter. Is it? But read it. Yeah, cheerleader, yeah, I totally have that voice. No, it should be sung to the tune of You Say Potato and I Say Potato. You say Justin Bieber. I say ACDC.

You say Miley Cyrus. I say Led Zeppelin. You say T-Pain. I say Slipknot. You say Flowers. I say Metallica. You say Pink. I say Iron Maiden.

You say Hip Hop. I say Shut the Fuck Up. You say Pop. I say I remade it. You say hip-hop. I say shut the fuck up. You say pop, ice cream, heavy metal. You say Hannah Montana. I fucking punch you in the face. Let's call the whole thing off. 92% of teenagers have turned to hip-hop and pop.

If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this message to other 5 videos. Don't let the spirit of rock die! Jack Chick, now be honest, were you the one who started this? Well, I

must confess that I didn't because none of the bands that he listed are pop bands. This is 6SYX, lowercase x, 1992, responding to Flare Barrel 2. And the entire thing is a movie title, because it's all capitalized. Every word is capitalized. Rap nowadays is gay, not hip-hop.

Hip-hop and rap are two different genres, but still in the same branch back in the day when NYC and California rappers were running the industry, it wasn't gay. It was the shit old school. And the new school are totally different. And I can make an example even today. Hip hop is great underground, which is very

different from what hip hop sounds like now. What the South is making. I like metal, but I love hip hop no matter what anybody says. That's pretty good. And that's a response to Flare Barrel 2 saying, it's gay. No, sir. I believe it is

not gay. Let me elaborate. Wow, I love that more of... Spiders Kill 2 says, Let me elaborate. Wow, I love that... Wait, wait. Spiders Kill 2 says, Metallica rocks, ass bed, best bed around. Sorry. I accidentally scrolled away from the comment.

You accidentally read your own comment. No. Sorry. What? Oh, my God. Okay. Sorry. I'm going to read Sparky3235.

Thumbs up to that! Metal emoticon. Smiley face. I love this song. Enter Sandman? I would totally enter Sandman. Oh, okay. Oh yeah, get all up inside

Sandman. It's a little gritty. I have a comment from Amamari. You listen to me! Metallica, enter Sandman is the best sound. Where's mine? Huh? Did you have it?

My friend is dead space. One, one, one one one one what I want to think about the people who want to go to YouTube in order to learn English as a second language. Don't worry, guys. Kevin Tack is here. And he's saying at Weezer 1991. Okay.

This is his response. Justin Buttfuck is coming to my school. Disguster, Dick. All the metalheads are gonna kill him. Guys, Jack's going to die. I feel kind of bad. Guys, Jack's going to die. I feel kind of bad.

Nobody has ever been as excited as this young man has been. Look out, Justin Buttfuck! The metal heads are descending upon you. Oh no, not the metal heads! There's too much denim. Will somebody read the one that I posted? Oh yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. I agree with you. Chat and English and text. What? Understand. I think. I never go to JB on Julie 4. Why?

Must be many more. Click on his song. And even I give him that. Craig. I love so much more than Metallica. Even if Craig is my hero. Don't give JB a click. If you do send to want to support him.

But truly. I think all music is free. And we don't need a war on YT slash love. Hey Citrus, can you read this one that I'm about to paste? Oh, sure. Why do people even care about what

Justin Bieber does? Only 14-year-old girls listen to him. Ellipsis. Your efforts make no sense. Ellipsis. You won't change anything. Ellipsis.

He wins like a gazillion, gazillion dollar signs out of it. Ellipsis. You won't make him stop singing just because Square, you hate his music. Ellipsis. Find something more constructive to do with his music, ellipsis. Find something more constructive to do with her energy, ellipsis. Like this joke, ellipsis.

Lol, don't know, ellipsis. Or watch parodies after his song, ellipsis. Those are cool. I was hoping you'd do it like that bad girl thingy. Somebody take the one I posted. Yeah, I need some Red Tail right here. Whoever

thinks Metallica sucks, jerk on your mom's ass. Then you gotta figure out how to do that. And what's the freaking Jonas piece of crap, bros? And what's her fucking name? My name is Metallica. It's the best hardcore metal rock son-of-a-bitch band of all time.

I spit a lot. All this time I've been listening to not the best hardcore metal rock son-of-a-bitch band. Damn! Well, that's what you've been doing wrong, man. Jack, sorry. Jack Chick, I have one for you here. Okay. Okay.

So, this is... You better have a German voice. I kind of saw that as like... I was going to do an anime style, actually. No, I think German voice makes a lot of sense for this.

Good German anime voice? Is it possible that we could do that? Jonas Brothers are penis and they are gay guy. Ha ha. Tomorrow they will be violent. What the fuck? We'd be older.

All right, all right, all right. So this is... It's ya-ya, by the way. Ya-ya. would be vile. What the fuck? We'd be older. Alright, alright, alright. It's yaya, by the way. I would have liked to just be straight up and just go, jaja. Alright, I know how I'll do this. So this is Lanue Valus

at Metroid. Yes. Jonas Brothers are penis and they are gay guy. Ha, yeah. Tomorrow they will wild ass a black boy. Ha, yeah, yeah. Jonas Brothers are penis and they are gay guy.

You know, Jack, you know, you know, Jack, when people ask me how to German voice, you could have just said no. No,

I liked his like his, you know, ambiguously European He's from all of Europe Come on guys, he's a generic first person shooter enemy Now Han Vior

when you get off the boat in America, you must say this thing that I will teach you to get to the hotel. Jonas Brothers are penis. I learned from YouTube. Excuse me, Mr. Immigration Man. Justin Bieber ass rape. I will only view all this black boy. Yeah, yeah. Wait, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Boots, alright, we're moving on, but then Boots, would you do this one first? Oh, sorry. Deathflame drummer. Okay. Oh. Alright, Deathflame, Deathflame drummer at

MHI is alive. I agree 110%. Some metal dudes may look scary as hell or whatever, but when you actually talk to them, they're actually nice as hell. As hell, I say.

Hell! Hell's very nice. And scary as hell. I'm nice as hell And you're going to continue to take it Actually Very good I got it

I liked your joke All the preppy fags And bitches who are all too busy Stuck up their own asses To make friends with someone who doesn't dress like them or listen to the same music. I don't think this guy's in high school.

I got friends that listen to country rap, rock, and metal and we all get along just fine. That is unity. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Now I'm convinced. This guy is definitely not in high school.

The short bonanza continues. This time we have the YouTube comments for some random video I found that was a message to atheists, which of course related in a thing that's as old as YouTube itself, which is Christians and atheists arguing with each other. I'm sure they all have very good points. Why? Because evolution is their god and without it, they will be hopelessly lost. Wrong! Without evolution, you will see and know god

is real and embrace your need for a savior. Satan can... Accent Grave allow this, so he will trick you until you die. It, Accent Gra It, accent grave. A shame. You won't, accent grave. No

God is real until after you die. I was hoping to kind of get into some Dio, like, really high notes there. And then there's a response. and then the response try to keep up I never said Jesus wasn't religious and for the fourth time

duh in making a point you did make claims about Peter that are not true when you insult others you shouldn't cry when they return fire, Jewishness is also an ethnicity. A Jew is not necessarily a practitioner of Judaism, therefore

your syllogism is faulty. And here we come to the crux of the problem, which is you admit you don't care how faulty your knowledge is, in quotes. You'll just make any argument. Okay, then.

Hissow Jamel at ZeroSpiker. Cursed change in the age of the Earth, T-Red blood cell, recent 2007 discovery, geological column, and fossils all point toward creationism.

I have looked in great detail at both sides. Without a doubt, evolution is a constant lie. Someone that studies evolution just admitted to me earlier that we have no proof of evolution. He said it's all theory, and there are some new discoveries that we are working on. He said to be patient

and wait for them, so I am patiently waiting. See? I am patiently waiting. See? I am patiently waiting for the lies. I like the comment by Nindajarnag. I think Han Solo said it best.

Hoki religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. What? What? Awesome Star your side, kid. What? What? Awesome Star Wars reference. Bro. Oh, it's worse. There's a Monty Python reference in there.

If only they could combine them, that would be the best. So, the comment, the last comment from ZeroSpiker four days ago will have all the Monty Python you'll need for this week. Oh. I have a good one from Sojamble here. Alright.

Consider this! Evolution is an unending lie! I call it a Satan milkshake! How's that? How's that? You win. You win. I can't argue with that. Nah, he's just right. I need't argue with that. Nah, he's right.

I need to rename this group. Satan Milkshake? I love that band. I call it a Satan Milkshake. How so? Evolution is a bunch of lies mixed in with truths. So many truths, but just enough lies to keep the gullible person believing. It is my job to decipher each molecule of the evolutionist milkshake. I refute the biggest claims of evolution,

but people keep asking questions. Oh. If only they would learn to stop asking questions. If only they would learn. I say Satan milkshake. This is the most compelling argument in favor of God

that I've ever seen. I think the Satan milkshake approach is going to really catch on. All Davocals says you can't be atheist if there's no God for you to not believe in. So all in all, yeah, all in all, atheists do believe that there is a God.

They just choose not to believe in him. And that's believe that there is a God. They just choose not to believe in him. And that's fact. That is a fact. You can't believe in the non-existence of something unless it exists. Oh, dude. That's awesome. In other words, everything exists. Everybody on here can say that they didn't believe,

but at one point, everybody on here can say that they didn't believe, but at one point, everybody on here did, and when they felt that God didn't come through for them, they immediately became non-believers. Oh. So now you know, when you're born, believing in God is the default setting you're put on. Yeah. It's behind, it's behind,

this is, I really like this one, because it uses the word ignoramus. Oh. Somebody call Gretchen Carlson. Hello. My name is Capon Ordinary. And you, you ignoramus. You have the audacity to deny that you are an animal,

just like any other animal, just with a slightly more evolved ability to reason, although in your case that's probably a close race. And you can't even understand the difference between an animal and a plant. Of course we die in the same way as

all other animals. Believing otherwise is the height of arrogance. Pardon me, but did you have a point somewhere in your ignorance and idiocy? Gods, take him away. This post wins the irony award.

Um, come quiet. Here's one. Here's one. Starts with, I like your video. Oh. I like your video. The eternity I'll be spending

will be as the set of atoms I am currently borrowing for my life expectancy of about 80 years, more or less. Those atoms have been around for billions of years, along with the energy I consist of, and it

will never be destroyed, only changed. When the sun burns out in 5 billion years, I will return to the universe from where we all came from. I will have a new son. That is your everlasting. Wow, nice. When you die,

you only return to the universe after the sun burns out. Before that, you are not in the universe. Plus, actually, you wind up shedding most of your molecules over the span of about seven years. Uh-oh, looks like we've got some fairy trouble. Poor Tex, fairy trouble.

He's a pagan. Someone needs to do a good pagan voice. You got it. You're fine. I have a pagan voice? I thought you were a pagan. I really did. I'm totally a pagan. I knew it.

So, fairy trouble says Um, hmm. I don't know. So, Fairy Trouble says, Two things on the comment at 242 is part of a religion that is considered a cult, paganism. Number one, we do not worship Satan. We don't even believe he exists! Lots of exclamation points. It pisses me off that everyone assumes a cult means satanic.

Number two, I have read the Bible cover to cover. I was raised Roman Catholic. After reading the Bible and finding out how much it contradicts itself, that's when I choose paganism. Oh, that is awesome. That is fucking terrific. You read the King James Bible and you go,

there's kind of some problems and holes and contradictions in this. I know, I'll go for Wicca instead. Rex, you're me? Well, I mean, yeah. If God is speaking to you, what are you going to do? Say no? That's pretty gay.

Ghostbusters. Acer, Acer, will you do this? A couple good ones. Comquat had a nice one. Yeah, this is good. Rumi has some philosophy for you. Your creator

comes to you? I thought you prayed to him for forgiveness? Most of the so called evidences from faileds have been around for centuries. You can do the same Bible code tricks with any long book. There is no evidence that God had anything to do with they, he remits, other than the Bible that is on trial. What? What?

What? The Zodiac is older than the Square Bible. There's evidence that Jesus is another sun god anyway. Oh, okay. Okay, no, that makes sense.

You know, I was really going like, I don't know about this whole Christianity thing, but Ra, that's a god that I can fucking get behind. I'm gonna shake your world here, so you better be sitting down. Oh my god. Those Jules are pretty interesting. The fact that they are pre-cut and

polished. Oh, man. Yeah, Christianity is the way. Jules. Okay, this argument is done. There is evidence that Jesus is simpile another sun god. Yeah, because the jewel is I would like to see that Well, he's got a tan

Can you take the one I just posted? Is that a yes? What? Who was that? Sorry, I'll take it Sorry What? Who? Who was that? Sorry. No, sorry. Yeah, I'll take it. Sorry.

Yeah. When I read this, I started crying. You say that you've seeked his face, but you haven't found it. You have to believe and louve him to see his face. Who can't just seek his face and expect to find it? It's really something special to see him. I have seeked his face, and I found it. And you don't know how owesome it really is. It's so powerful, and eve felt him inside me and he gave me the gift he gave me the gift to speak in tongues

and you may say that it was in my imagination, but I know it wasn't, and that's enough evidence for me. It's kind of like Riverdance. I was just going to say, excuse me, can I have this evidence? Mr. Reingear, may I have this evidence?

Citrus, I have one for you. Okay. Oh, wow. Citrus, I have one for you Okay Oh wow Okay My name is MoonkittenJD In response to people who are bigger It isn't possible for people to be much bigger Due to physics

If they were Then they would damage themselves just by standing. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, not damage themselves. No, it's stupider than you thought. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, Jesus.

All right. I2I, uh, I2I1. No. Alright. I2I I2I1 No, 2. I2I2 That's what that is. Alright, I2I2, people were bigger. It isn't possible for people to be much bigger due to physics. If they were, they would damage

they or yourselves just by standing. Their square is a limit to the size of animals due to this. All the figures in this sign must sit down. And this is what they were responding to.

If people were a little bit taller, they would die. This is why the NBA doesn't exist. No animals are taller than humans. His name is I2IIIV, which is not an actual Roman numeral. No, it's I2IIV. We already established that it's two. Yeah, it's I2IIV.

On my screen, I see IIIV. Right, exactly. It's a very messed up two. That's two. I get it. Okay. Real quick. It's stupid as messed up 2. It's just 2. I get it. Real quick, I found a comment

that's absolutely amazing on a related video. Can I post that? Yes. If anyone wants to read what the person Moonkitten was responding to, I posted it up there. I do I I I I I I I I I

V. Three months ago. From a studied analysis of pre- flood conditions, these living to be 900 people were bigger, stronger, faster, etc. They also turned slower and hardly ever got wrinkles or grey

or white hair. This was a study conducted by nobody. Yes. I, too, was there in the YouTube. They did a great job. It's from a studied analysis of my bong water.

P.S. I don't picture Noah, that is of Noah's Ark, as an old man with a white beard. I picture him as a giant with the appearance of John the Baptist. But then what did John the Baptist look like? Noah, interestingly enough.

A giant with the appearance of Noah. Oh my god. Can I request that Kumquat reads this? Yeah. Holy shit. Oh my god. Can I request that Kumquat reads this? Yeah. Alright. Holy shit. I have to mute myself.

Sorry about that. New York existed. But that doesn't mean Spider-Man's real. Excuse me? Fucking thank you. You're welcome. Oh shit, we were supposed to applaud there.

Yay! My uncle has this serious problem with equating the existence of Mount Sinai as evidence for the existence of God. It seriously annoys me when he doesn't see his serious flaw in logic there. Oh. Wow.

Is that more of that story? No, New York existed, but that doesn't mean Spider-Man's real. It doesn't exist anymore. But on the other hand, Gotham City doesn't exist, so therefore Batman's real. But on the other hand, Gotham City doesn't exist,

so therefore Batman's real. Okay. Is that Frog in a Box, this is? Or is that like a lady named Frog in a Box? That's her stage name. Frangina Box. She's not quite to the real heart. Now, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Frog in a box. That's her stage name. Frogina box. She's not quite to the real heart. Now ladies and gentlemen, give it up for frog in a box.

It's frogina box. Yeah, frogina. Oh, she just doesn't shave much. I see. She's taking care with her hair. You should start by unblocking all those people who you have blocked.

Just because they disagree with you doesn't mean you should block them. That's a sure way to make them not listen. Since they are so interested in science, like I said,

use claims that have not been debunked. Don't say evolution says there is no God. If you say that, the atheists will just laugh at you because, well, that's not really what evolution says. You have potential.

I don't want Yo to become another Venom Fang X oh I think we all remember what happened to Venom Fang X isn't he president now? alright I've got another one here oh Jesus okay you guys ready?

oh no yes now you could say well Jesus turned from a historical human Into a magical Same as we done with Santa However everyone on the earth Except children

Knows that we recently created a Santa For a better mascot To Christ Than A wooden goat What What I'll paste it then slay 4X a wooden goat. What? What?

I'll paste it so you guys can read it too. Oh, wait. Oh. Do you guys remember Fairy Trouble? Yeah, I do. Are we about to have more Fairy Trouble? Well, Al Davocats. No, Al Davocals is responding to fairy trouble.

You and whatever is going on and you will either heal or change and my aunt used to have the power to see demons, but she kind of strayed away from me. I lost her. Well, that took a left turn pretty quickly. She used to have the power to see demons, but then she had to go to rehab.

Amazing how her drug problem and her ability to see demons cleared up at the same time. Continuing with our Outtake Bonanza, this is from episode 15, which if you remember was about alien abductions. This is, as you would imagine, about aliens and also pregnancy. So, have fun. Okay. False pregnancy and weird thoughts Alien impregnation? Warning guys, contains some girl talk

Okay, first of all, I'm not really sure where to post this But I'll shoot for here first This is one of my posts that is medical slash health Slash encounter dash abduction related And if any of the moderators could give me a holla as to where best to post these types, I'd be obliged.

I read some, very little yet, as I'm waiting on book to arrive, info about alien impregnation, and something kept lingering on the fringe of my thoughts with this. If you've read my encounters and illness thread, you know a bit about my wacky medical slash health slash POS encounter

history and the systematic scleroderma diagnosis I've been dealing with for several years. What do you think POS means? Is that possessive? Possible encounter. Or she's been paused. I don't know. Point of sale. She's a bug patient.

Attention, interest, decision, action. Maybe it's just short form for posse, and she just couldn't type it all out. I've encountered a posse. Yeah. Who's taken five damage. Oh, no. What I didn't talk about, more so because it gets stuffed down among those things that are just too embarrassing or painful,

is that I had an ongoing weird hormone-type issue that had me having ongoing false positive pregnancies, though only done with at-home tests, and repeat occurrences with physical symptoms of pregnancy. Sorry, chaps. Alien surprise smiley. If this is grossing you out. Oh my god. Ladies can get pregnant? Oh!

I have odd type issues too but then I just go have a private moment and that's it. Well, I think that if you are a grey alien that might gross them out. I mean, you don't know. You're not an alien. Girl might be pregnant.

That's not compute. That's not compute. You mean they don't butt off each other like normal people? Oh my god. Anyways, Tilda, my docs could never find anything wrong, and the ultrasound slash x-ray slash lab tests

were always clear or within the infamous normal range. Oh, that is infamous. That's a problem. I'm afraid your tests are normal. Dun, dun, dun! One of these days we'll get you a normal range. Not up here! But every few months my illness would have a major surge slash flare-up,

and again the symptoms of pregnancy would persist, with no explanation from my docs in either Western medicine or alternative. That's not doctors, that's actually just documents. I don't have the severity of symptoms that I used to. I was 29 when they started, 37 now, and I had two kids before this, so I know fairly well what being pregnant is like. I do now have some weird anomalies in my internal organs that were not there before my diagnosis, but docs still said it wouldn't produce the symptoms I experienced.

You see, the problem with alien pregnancy, the incubation period is 5,000 years. That's why you don't see the alien babies. It's a hell of a long time to have morning sickness. Your daughter will also be pregnant. And I do have at least one normal variation in my anatomy. One jugular runs up the back of my throat versus

alongside it. No! Aliens! Join the circus, you freak. What the hell? I knew the truth was out there. Explain that, doctors. Also, my finger kind of bends back pretty far.

I can fold my tongue in half. Aliens. Once I had to go to the bathroom, but it totally didn't happen. Aliens! I knew it. The aliens stole my poop. Mwahaha!

Back to the spaceship. They're not trying to take over, they're just pranksters. They haven't quite gotten the prank down. Now that we have the Hunam baby, we shall... Oh, God, no, wait. All the aliens really want to do is shit on people's chests and run, but they need to do it for people who can do it.

To their face or chest. But again, no indicators, Tilda. Not even perimenopause could explain what I went through. Which is why, when I stumbled on some snippets about alien impregnation, I, reluctantly, I'm my dad, decided to explore that final paranoid

frontier. To be quite honest, I'm more embarrassed. Embarrassed in love face? Yeah. That's hard. She loves to be her embarrassment. She loves to be embarrassed.

Well, it's occasionally looking at the word embarrassed, so maybe that face is just, it just appeared. The face is in love with embarrassed. Yes. And she didn't put it there. It's just the smiley that came along to love. That's right. She's trying to make it feel better. I'm more embarrassed to be considering this a possibility

than I am scared of it being an actuality. I mean no offense to anyone who feels this has happened. I just don't want to be grasping at straws to explain what could be a yet-to-be-revealed normal explanation. Have any of the women out there or spouses slash partners had this type of experience? What experience?

There's no experience yet. The experience of really, really, really wanting attention. Has anyone just really wanted everyone to pay attention to you? So are you made up goofy shit about alien pregnancy? Has this happened to anyone but me?

I'm totally embarrassed to talk about it. Please. And any info on alien impregnation or attempts would be welcome. Oh, I see what she wants. She wants to hear about alien like rape or something here. So do I.

Who doesn't? I read the story about that. Might I say too, out of everything I've posted, this feels by far the most blinky-looky eyeball face. Worried face.

Vulnerable and out there, so please, please be kind. Oh, great. It seems to me like she's just like, has anyone else ever had this experience where you thought something was wrong and the test came back normal? I'm kind of worried.

My tests are pretty normal. I don't know about you guys. Alright, let's hear for some perfection. I've met a few women online who have born earth children to alien beings. That's what that word means born Earth children to alien beings. That's what that word means.

Earth children? I call all children Earth children. Others say the aliens remove the fetus and nurture it elsewhere. What? That doesn't make sense. Borrowing some chemical anomaly that may be causing

the false positives, then it's possible the aliens are using you to create fetuses for them. I'm glad we have the option, Perfection. I'm glad it's either completely normal shit or aliens that are using you

as a breeding chamber. How did they remove the fetus, I wonder? Alien technology. That explains that zipper. Maybe they removed the fetuses with chemical anomalies. Oh, with molecules.

Yes. It's the jugular thing through the back of her neck. Oh, they sucked the baby out of her neck. Yes. They're alien vampires. Uh-oh. Now I'm worried. Worried face. Can I stop them?

I went to... I went to see a medical intuitive once. What? What? A witch doctor? I remember sitting in front of her, crippled arms and legs already,

health hanging on by a thread, and she was telling me how I had so many eggs to fertilize. Oh, no! I've had eggs before. Oh, my God. I knew it was coming. I didn't know it would be so explicit.

Oh, cholesterol. Ew. Hot. And she saw me with many children. She was right on target with everything else, but in my opinion at the time, that. Hmm. Hmm. Thank you for your reply. I was the child of a medical intuitive.

I sense bruising. Thanks, Mom. I can be a medical intuitive. I think there's an injury out there. Somewhere. I remember crippled arms and legs, health hanging by a thread. But then she gave me a pork roast

and I got three hearts back. Soul clip. Well, Mama Song, being married 40 years and all my children were females, I have seen an imbalance of the two hormones estrogen and progesterone, do terrible things to women. Have you tried to straighten your hormones with birth control tablets

or hormone replacement drugs? Strengthen. Strengthen. I love to strengthen my things all the time. Strengthen. Now, if you feel like this is UFO slash alien related

Most of the time aliens stalk their targets From an early age And keep track of the targets over several years I think this was the case of me and my wife But As you grow older aliens lose interest and leave Aliens are not interested in older people I never told them my children about any UFO stuff,

but a few days ago, my older daughter knocked me over when she told me for the first time that she would think that little people would play with her in her bedroom when she was young. Today, she just laughs it off. Did aliens track me and my wife and also my children? I do know, but the idea does not sit well with me if they track my children. Today, my children are all grown up with families of their

own. I hope this helps. Yeah, I hope my boring life story helps you with your problem. Well, it seems to me like now aliens are like Jane Goodall. They're just kind of sitting and watching. So maybe to the aliens, we all have

goofy names that all begin with F. This is Fatty! This is Fatty, and this is my favorite human. Fire. And feeble. And fucker. And I ran. And fucker. And I ran out of F words.

F. F2. You're no alien. You're not creative enough, apparently. Frank. What's your F words? Alright. Hi. I know that the aliens often use women, and also

men. What? Because they aren't able to reproduce their species in a natural way. They need to have a natural incubator to put inside their genetical material.

Genetical. Yes. So they put the incubator inside the genetical material. That's why it's alien technology, I guess. I can't understand it. It's technical terms.

He explains it next. It seems they use a special machinery for this. Oh. Well then. And when the foetus is enough growth, about three months, it can be pulled out from the abductee.

This is the probable reason for the inexplicable false positive pregnancies in the case the abduction are real. The female abductee believes to be pregnant, and she is. And after the foetus are taken away by alien,

she feel like she lose the child for natural causes, and she suffer a lot. This is what I remember now. I will be more precise. What? Wow. At least that's what we told the parents It's probable

Because what they need Is genetically transmitted In other In other world If one parent is an abductee It's probable That also the children can be abductees Not always

Well that makes sense Good work professor that also the children can be abductees. Not always. Well, that makes sense. Good work, Professor. That must have been written by an alien. That was a medical intuitive. Because that grammar was not from this world. I love the first part. Aliens often use women, and also men.

For other options. Well, I often use women and also men, but I'm just bisexual, not an alien. Oh. They're after our precious sperms. Damn! Alien sperm bank. The last thing I want to bring you in this bonanza of episodes is a site called Have It Told Real Time.

It is a site that is published by a schizophrenic. And the site reflects it. You have the left side is film and literature, and the right side is politics and religion. And each side has essays that apparently relate to the subject

at hand, but not in any way that makes sense. Ten Commandments, a 1966 film. Okay, the Ten Commandments, here we go. This film begins with its producer saying its basis is scripture and historical documents and that Moses' accomplishment was to free people from slavery. Next, the film misquotes the Torah and says

Pharaoh's daughter named him Moses because she free people from slavery. Next, the film misquotes the Torah and says Pharaoh's daughter named him Moses because she drew him from water. Moses is from Egyptian for a son. Dan Brown commits the Da Vinci Code to be fiction and still has nothing on Cecil B. DeMille for hogwash, misrepresenting the Bible

and history, and so we have to ask why this film raised no Roman Catholic outrage. We are thinking that it's sexism. It's nearly no female character, and it shows any purpose other than to fawn over men, to give them sons, or suck. But the next

question, after how the Motion Picture Association of America ignores its violence to rated G, is why no Judaic outrage? We are thinking the chosen might still be choosing the golden calf over the Ten Commandments with help called Christian. The Bible

says the Israelites did it to the Midianites. The people say it took Moses in and gave them their king's daughter worse than what Egypt did to them and worse than what the Nazis did to the Jews. Maybe Israel let the film slide because it glosses over that and what Israel what the Nazis did to the Jews. Maybe Israel let the film slide because it glosses over that and what Israel

keeps trying to do to the Palestinians. Oh. Oh. Now that makes... Wait, no. Oh. Thumbs up. Thumbs diagonally.

Thumb in your damn eye. I don't understand what the hell's going on here. I'm pretty sure this guy also complains about Jews running the media. Speaking of which... What makes you think that? Speaking of which, can I do the one for Network? Sure.

Network, a 1976 film. Netflix, a generation after this film appeared, bills it as a prediction. What it is, is a fact of human life, recognizing that Jewish gold and Arabic black gold are no different in their effect in the ecumenical economy. The power of abstraction to make humans value

hubris more than their lives. It sold Archie Bunker and Tide as it sells Oprah Winfrey and Tylenol. Mind-blowing. Oh. Oh. Okay. I don't know what any of that meant, but I'm mad as hell. I'm as confused as hell, and I'm just

going to go lay down right now. I'm going to post on the internet. Can I do one really quickly? Seriously, it's very, very quick. Godspeed. This is for Dr. Zhivago. Oh my god. Oh. Yes.

Yes. What's this film about? Can you do it really quickly? The answer is no. This film is about the infinite shapes of snow. Oh god. Tell you what. This film is about the infinite shapes of snow.

That's a good movie. That's all a shock to Chicago. That's a Zen cone. You're incorrect. This film is about the infinite shapes of snow. Oh, well, now it makes sense. Oh.

God damn it. It's eight words long and you fucked it up. Sorry. You couldn't do it, Jack. You couldn't do it. I like this guy not reviewed Dr. Strangelove. All right. Should I try Avatar?

Yes. The weirdest thing about this film is that nearly every mass media critic said its point was commercial technological superiority. The point fair watchers find from this film is that technology should serve democracy, not superiority, or demagoguery, not alienation. Oh, what is he even talking about? Oh, it gets better. Democratic process. Oh, it gets better. Democratic process.

Families risk death to flee Mexico to pick fruit for the free and legally Republican citizens of the United States. And instead of welcoming them, the people too lazy to do such work create laws to keep them out. They say that those people who can't afford immigration lawyers should not be allowed to attend their tea party. They call fruit pickers drug dealers to get them out of their faces. America, the land illegal immigrants stole from its natives, allows a population that sucks up to the advertising that it should be all Advil

while calling people not on Facebook degenerate. Picture of a gardenia flower. Oh, dramedy. Oh my god, this is the best guy in the world. You know what? You know what this is? This is like the kind of crazy

that other crazy people think is crazy. This is like the guy walks up and it's like, the demons in my head have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, this is what keeps all other crazy people from getting help. It's a crazy person scarecrow. It keeps the crazy crows away.

Okay, I'm going to do Order of the Phoenix. Okay. Order of the Phoenix, 2007 film. Harry Potter answered the question most of us think impossible. The way to world peace is through the understanding that it's friendship. Nearly everyone claiming a religion claims it as a superstition, although every founder of every remaining major

religion argued mainly one point, the sharing essential to prosperity, loving one's neighbor. Terror isn't Islamic, as it isn't Mosaic or Christian. Terror comes from such as crusades and jihads.

Terror is in doing what Joshua did, and in what Osama bin Laden is doing, and in what Hitler did, and in what Israel is doing. It's a movie! It's a movie! This is what Harry Potter is about.

Okay. It's a movie! God damn it! this is what Harry Potter is about okay it's a movie god damn it I don't think I've ever heard a single review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix that didn't reference Hitler it's in what every bigot does and it won't stop

until all of us stop trying to blame it on Moses or Mohammed or Jesus on everyone but and it won't stop until all of us stop trying to blame it on Moses or Muhammad or Jesus, on everyone but ourselves. It won't stop until we stop making excuses to covet our neighbor's land, until we stop perverting the teachings of the founders of

our religions, from the Rishis to Muhammad, into ignorance of me. Only then shall we have something worth fighting for and stop fighting. The essential weapon for peace is not secret. It's plain.

Four stars. I wish you put that on Netflix. I want to know how many people found that helpful. You know, this guy doesn't just do movie reviews. He also does book reviews. Stog, will you read his review of War and Peace?

Sure. Oh, this is good. Not some sort of movie adaptation. This is actually a review of the 1869 novel. Advil Tylenol Jews. Gangster computer god. War and Peace, an 1869 novel. Tolstoy, while fathering 13 children with the woman he married when she was half his age,

is mostly about his love for her. is mostly about his love for her. The last hundred-some pages of the book he wrote, while she bore most of them, try to justify the book otherwise, as an essay on war, regardless of peace. And maybe so,

he died leaving his wife, the mother of his children, to justify his thinking. Many of us live and die that way. We ignore our life. To his credit, that was almost about the book. That's what he's going to get.

You need to do a thematic follow-up, and Stog, do the Elephant Man as well. The next one up. Okay. The Elephant Man. The Elephant Man as well. The next one up. Okay. The Elephant Man. The Elephant Man. A 1980 film. This film, also in black and white,

decades after The Wizard of Oz made color mainstream in motion pictures, shows also that much slowly changes. The ah-ah- ought ought oughts. No, wait, the double ought double oughts. The 1520s. The 1930s. The 2000s. The same.

We try to put others down to set ourselves up, and so we fail miserably. others down to set ourselves up. And so, we fail miserably. That actually kind of had a... No, I mean, it didn't relate to the movie that much, of course, but it actually kind of had a cogent point. I was

taken aback. It did, but it's a movie review. Exactly. Hey, you know, at this point, I'm just riding the crazy. Just whatever I can get at this point. Which is why I want to talk about his review of two things at once. The War, a 1994 film, and Keeper of the Keys, a 1991 book. Both of these books show that children could keep us from wars

were parents to give them the key at ground level. They show that pride is the deadliest of sins and that stupid is as stupid does. Now here's a big point, alright? Is everybody listening? I'm listening. All ears. Intelligence is telling in, not jerking out. Responsibility is sharing.

It's understanding. Picture of dogwood trees in front of the Washington Memorial. We've been ignoring the left side of it. Actually, I have something for the left side. Can I read his views about, I think, sports? Yes. No, I was just about to give you that exact one. I think maybe sports.

Yes, yes, yes, please. It could be about sports. Probably not, though. Well, that's what the title has in it. That is one of three words in the title. It's either about sports, watches, or suckers. There's actually a pretty good chance it's not about any of them.

Suckers watch sports. June 14, 2010. After more than 60 years of my life, my vision isn't as clear as when the United States Army trained me to hit targets farther away than the length of three football fields with a rifle with no telescopic sight. But it remains clear enough to do that because age commonly diminishes the ability to see up close,

but not far away. And in those terms, far away is a television beyond a coffee table. That is how optometrists usually rate if you're nearsighted or farsighted. Yeah. Can you see Andy Griffith?

On a scale. On a scale. So, I don't see how Blu-Ray can help me see a film more clearly than HD does, because I don't hear how more than two speakers improve the fidelity of sound reproduction. Maybe he thinks Blu-Ray. Yeah, maybe he thinks Blu-Ray. Like the format, it's just a guy named Blu-Ray. Yeah, I was thinking Blu-Ray. My name is Blu-Ray, I'm gonna perform Avatar for you.

Now, Red Oscar, he's a different stork. Oh, we got Shanky Steve, we got Tiny Pete, we got Blu-ray. Fuck you all. In the 1970s, I was a stereo aficionado and spent a lot of money on quadraphonic sound before I recognized that I have but two ears! Now- Wait, he didn't realize that before? I thought I had many ears

positioned in different places all over my person. Did the Milantus- Did the Milantus-ionist put these on the sides of my head? Now, now, my stereo system has five speakers, but only because finding one with fewer is difficult. What? It is? Damn. Similarly, I don't get how interactivity will improve my appreciation of anything I can play on my television.

If it's sight, sound, and sights are a work of artistic or social integrity. What? I did integrity. What? It's like killing someone. It's like killing someone, yes. Go on. What in the holy fucking hell am I

listening to? It's like killing someone. I think this is written by Nice Pete. It's like killing someone with a car by paying more attention to a cell phone conversation than to the view of the road. The French call such as Hollywood directors auteurs assuming that audiences pay attention. What the hell?

And to end that, a poster of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Makes perfect sense. Now it all makes sense. Boots, go down to art link letter sold soap, not drugs. Oh my god.

I don't even need to hear the blog now. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you totally, totally do. You really do. June 10th, 2010. Art link letter sold soap, not drugs. For weeks, CNN tried to defend Obama

and BP before trying to blame the disaster on firefighters. What? What? What? I'm just going to keep making that sound until it makes sense. I'm Wolf Blitzer. Look at these assholes.

What the hell? What the hell? Are you cleaning the spill yet? Is it clean yet? Just Keith Olbermann with a picture of Dennis Leary in front of him. For shame, sir For shame, sir The same day, CNN's Kyra Phillips in her inane effort to misplace

public confidence in the commandant of a Coast Guard said that his security detail knows every coffee shop on the Gulf Coast. What? What? But maybe it isn't duplicity. All he said was, I went to Starbucks. But maybe it isn't duplicity, but stupidity,

considering that another CNN anchor said that Obama has appointed a retired lieutenant as the Pentagon's chief intelligent officer, apparently not knowing the difference between a lieutenant and a lieutenant general. Anyway, trusting

CNN is at least ignorant, if not stupid. But what can one expect from people who think restless leg syndrome is a disease drugs should cure? Who think any doctor can juggle all the side effects

of all the drugs the drug companies pay the media to sell us, and who thinks being all Advil is unlike alcoholism or heroin addiction. People are not funny. Why does he keep talking about Advil? Wait, wait, wait. Picture

of a castle with a field with a bunch of sheep in it. He's got a huge hate boner for Advil. I know. Advil is just fucking making him angry all the time. The one down to is called

Wicked Web, which I'm pretty sure is about the internet. So that'll probably be really concise, I assume. internet so that'll probably like be really concise i assume um uh john do you want to do you want to try that sure why not my my brain's jelly by this point just whatever okay wicked web june 8th 2010 the scariest thing about the don't ask don't tell policy is that it's federal law every witness in a court of law at any level of government in the United States must swear to tell the

truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. That law punishes people for telling the whole truth. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. What the hell's going on? That paragraph was really good. Good job. Okay. Let's go on. And the fact is

that the first person I knew to have earned the army commendation medal was an obviously gay sergeant from Guam from whom I worked in the 3rd armored division in Germany in 1976 1966 rather the Japanese had tattooed Sergeant Bahia with a serial number during their occupation of Guam

before Pearl Harbor the West Point graduate whom the army booted for telling the whole truth raised the question of the inconsistency between the law and his alma mater's honor code. But the problem goes further than that and beyond a gay World War II veteran assigned by my Army company in Vietnam. It requires soldier to be dishonest, and one lie tends to lead to other lies. And in 1970, I ran across an obviously gay army urologist at the 97th General Hospital, the hospital that gained fame in 1981 by its top secret psychological operation debriefing the Iran hostages. Both Sergeant Bahia and I volunteered for Vietnam as soon as we learned of Johnson's escalating our forces there.

And another fact is that telling the truth didn't excuse people from the draft during the Vietnam War. I knew soldiers in Vietnam who had tried to dodge the draft by telling their homosexuality, but despite that, their presence had no adverse effect on mission accomplishment. They did their duty. A guy with gay Vietnam veterans on his shirt. I think it was on his medication when he wrote that. Yeah.

It was still a little rambly, but it did actually make a point. And ironically, that confuses me more than anything. Yeah, you know, Lemon, at this point, him, like, upgrading to Grandpa Simpson is a

huge step. Jack Chick, go up to, it's on the left side, emoticon this. Oh, emoticon this. I feel like I'm a little angry at him being kind of saying it in the last one emoticons the mass media and the royal watchers feel sorry for sarah ferguson oh poor fergie not being able to get by on millions of dollars a year is anyone thinking

about anything about ignorant people killing and starving people all over the world? Gary Coleman. A person starving a person? That Pokemon trainer grew up and he became incredibly angry at the world, I guess. Somebody in Rwanda holding a turkey leg above a guy

starving. Gary Coleman said he wasn't cut out for showbiz He was cut out to be a black guy With kidney problems That's what my Attitude test said about me too That's a long way from being an American

Idol dancing with the stars Brian Williams The the Bill Gates Network's evening news anchor, said Coleman wasn't cut out for rising above his physical shortness of to reach for the stars. Oh, that's mean. Coleman fit that cut out better than Fergie

or Williams or Gates or ever likely to grow to do. He had far more integrity than any of them. Because when I think of integrity, I think of Gary Coleman. Yeah! That's his legacy. I think of Bill Gates with a pie on his face.

Yeah, well, it's good because he provided that picture at the end of his blog. Yeah. Alright, I'm going to do the one you were going to. Oh my god, okay, yes. Smiley faces and nanny tattoos, May 28, 2010. CNN's main purveyor of waving computer screens

in our faces waves his fingers in our faces like Bill Clinton, and MSNBC's main reporter of the technology failure in the Gulf of Mexico waves red fingernail polish in our faces like Marilyn Monroe, while MSNBC is the Bill Gates Network and CNN rightly says people trust it. What?

What the hell? What in the fresh fucking hell was that about? I don't have a problem with Marilyn Monroe. Why? Oh, God. I don't have a problem with Marilyn Monroe, given her place in the history of American economics,

the affluence of the 50s, but I have a serious problem with Bill Gates cheaping us with the money the world pays him, duping us into his emoticons. What? Yeah, she had a good place. She did well in American economics. Buy 50 more stocks and Vince Blowing dresses up.

Bill Gates had no effect on me. Every emoticon you click oh man I owe him so much I'm gonna be in debt guys if you had a guess as to which female movie star

Bill Gates was most like what would you guess oh the one girl from Wiener Dog from Welcome to the Dollhouse. Nick Cage. Roseanne Barr. Mike Carley.

Susan Boyle. He doesn't definitively answer the question, but he does provide at least a relative answer. He gives us a range. Gates is more like Angelina Jolie than Marilyn Monroe. Oh.

So on this, no, guys, guys, on the sliding scale of female superstars that nerdy billionaires are like, he's more towards Angelina Jolie than Marilyn Monroe. It's very clear. David Geffen, on the other hand,

is more of a Monroe type. Oh, oh, oh. And he explains why, even. Gates drives nails in coffins as Jolie drives needles into herself. They keep motivating and killing Norma Jean.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And the photo is gay kid who's passed out drunk on steps. Okay, I'm going to do the next one, which is titled, What Is Isn't?

What Is Isn't? Because that dude's gay! What Is Isn't? I think you took too much Advil. He did. What Is Isn't? I think he took too much Advil. He did. That's made him gay. What is isn't May 27, 2010? Joe Sestak told Bob Schieffer

Sunday morning that somebody had asked him months after Obama had offered him a job in his administration in exchange for not running against Arlen Specter that he had decided to answer the question honestly. Had I been in Schieffer's position, my next question would have been what questions Sestak chose to answer dishonestly. And my next question would have been that he answered the question.

Sestak still refuses to say what job Obama offered him. And the oil flowing into the Gulf of Mexico and toward its coast is not a spill but a gush. It's a gusher, man! Another Sunday morning lowlight was Sam Donaldson's saying that Richard Blumenthal should stay in the race but to win would need

to talk the electorate into thinking that his being a lying sack of shit is less important than what he lies about. I hope that makes everything clear. There's a picture of Monica Lewinsky lies about. I hope that makes everything clear. There's a picture of Monica Lewinsky, so, you know, that makes it clear. Oh, okay.

Monica Lewinsky, that clears everything up. Yeah, when Sam Donaldson said that, that did ruin my whole week. I couldn't stop thinking about it. This is a review of the movie Shine from 1996. That movie about the pianist. Yeah, that's all like Aspie or whatever.

Okay. This is a review of that movie. Nothing is more important than music. Nothing is more important than the harmony of inspiration. This film says that. The horror of the Holocaust lives on from the horror of the captivity. This film

tries to deliver a lesson to the Germans and the Egyptians and the Israelis, all of us. The Holy Land is hardly holy, despite how the sun shines on Karn Haten. Why doesn't Christians visit the Mount of Beatitudes?

Wait, this is still not the movie? It's a good question. Why doesn't? You know, let's think about it. In the 60s, when the Great Society sent millions of Americans to kill Vietnamese doing nothing but trying

to live their lives as best they could, a popular song borrowed a melody from Rachmaninoff's piano concerto and assigned it the lyrics, When I was young, I never needed anyone. Making love was just for fun, those days are done. Rachmaninoff's third piano concert is more difficult to play than his second, while his second, played more in the film, is more sweet. And popular music is more

sweet now, in the war on terror that has made Bethlehem a combat zone. How is Christ's birthplace in the shadow of a death? Astrology, psychology, stars and butterflies. What life comes down to is common sense. This film is lovely.

What does that even mean? I don't understand what any of those words are referring to at all. Just my brain. Thank you for coming. Thank you for hearing the sermon at the cathedral of our lady of the perpetually batshit.