The Fighter & The Kid - Callen's Naughty Carrot Story | TFATK Ep. 873

Starting point is 00:00:00 you got a big UFC 285 this weekend, you got John Jones coming back. The king is back. Again, Cyril Gahn get in on the action with the official sports betting partner, the UFC. New customers combat just $5 on a pre-fight money line and get $150 in bonus bets. If your fighter wins, all draft king's customers

Starting point is 00:00:20 can join the excitement in the octagon with draft king, same game parlay's, draft kings. Download the app, use the code fighter, New, Combat just $5 on a pre-fight money line and get $150 in bonus bets if your fighter wins. This Saturday at Draft King Sportsbook with code Fyter, middle-age, eligibility restrictions apply, C-Show notes for details, draft kings. Yes we did, just we back at it again. It's the fighter in the kid. It's the fighter in the kid. It's the fighter in the kid. It's the fighter in the kid.

Starting point is 00:00:52 It's the fighter in the kid. This is really the fighter in the kid. Now, now, I went to, I want to get your take on this. So I was in Edmonton. Now Edmonton is oil and bears. If you want to hunt bears, you go to Edmonton. Now Edmonton is oil and bears. If you want to hunt bears, you go to Edmonton. When you talk to those guys, when they work the oil fields,

Starting point is 00:01:11 by the way, crazy amazing crowds. I'm talking about grizzlies up there. Yeah, now a couple of things about me, I'm sorry if I look a little fucked up right now because I spent three days straight in the mall, because you kick outside when it's 30 below zero, 40 with windshield ladies and gentlemen. Yes, Mo. Okay. Yes. You're not going out. You can take a cup of coffee through on the air. It freezes

Starting point is 00:01:29 before it hits the fucking ground. You know, and that's lined up to go to just say him, bro. Edmonton. Love my Edmonton crowds, but February might be maybe wait a little bit spring fall. Just a silence. If you sell good tickets, who cares? That's all that's all matters But I I walk that I walk that fuck them all got so bored. It's five years of the exact same thing correct got so bored I went into a knife shop and talked to the guy about swords. Yeah, so I'm just fake asking fake questions about swords There's seven there's seven gaps in that mall seven gaps Now I'm the guy has I go do you can you carry a sword? What is the legal rent that I was gonna be going? I'm so bored I go now now you have a broad sword do you have do you can you carry a sword? What is the legal rent that I was like, I was like, I'm gonna be going, I'm so bored, I go. Now, now you have a broad sword,

Starting point is 00:02:07 do you have, do you get, do you carry samurai swords? I'm asking questions, I don't have. I don't know. I think that's what he was doing, he was going, yeah, I mean, I suppose, I mean, yeah, you can't carry one, right? Yeah, I mean, you know, I'd be nice. And I was like, yeah, how would you get in cars?

Starting point is 00:02:18 And you stayed in the hotel next to, that's connected. That's correct, sir, it's called fantasy land. It's depressing. Is it, You think? Each floor is a different fantasy? Yeah, but try getting an elevator because they're in a service elevator, sir.

Starting point is 00:02:32 Oh, yeah. There's a lot going on, but either way. It smells like cinnamon. Yeah. And when you go, now when you go, and you work in the fucking oil fields, you will see wolves and you will see bears Weekly, so if you want to go hunt bear like our boy Joe did you go out to Edmonton up there

Starting point is 00:02:53 The school workers. He got bitten the head with it by a mosquito the kind of mosquitoes that live up there Joseph did yeah got bitten him in the far head. He he looked like He had the mark of cane on him. Oh wow. Yeah, those mosquitoes are like, I'm gonna shoot something that you haven't seen. I'm gonna stuck all your blood out of your Farhead, okay? I'm gonna pump this juice in your face. Yeah, just a giant scar. That's what he said.

Starting point is 00:03:14 Yeah, and then you, now when the black bear show up, that's what you shoot. If a grizzly shows up, you climb a tree. I know. You stand up. You climb a tree. I know. You stand up. They can climb too though. Well, grizzlies apparently not so black bears scoot right up a tree.

Starting point is 00:03:32 They'll scoot. Black bears are stupid though. Yeah, but here's the thing about Edmonton. It's very flat. It's oil and bears. And I always wonder who was the person that said, follow me. And then when they got there, they were like,

Starting point is 00:03:46 this is home. This is it. And so it's like, do you see the wolves and grisly so it's like this is it. Also the wind, like I'm envying, I wanna be a moose right now. You know that you should not be somewhere when you envy the animals there,

Starting point is 00:03:59 because you're like, at least they're warm and they could live on grass. You didn't like it, huh? Oh, I just wouldn't. You couldn't live there. I got down the summer. It? Oh, I just wouldn't. You couldn't live there. Down the summer, it's amazing. You're in summer, it's amazing. Yes, but if you were a native Ameri,

Starting point is 00:04:10 if you were the first nation people there, and then the white man, the white man was like, look, we're gonna take your land, but we'll trade you a huge mall and diabetes. How's that sound? Yeah, go to Florida. Florida. You're an Indian, just hitchhiked to Florida.

Starting point is 00:04:22 Yeah, right? I follow the bird's south. You and I, I would get the leader with the leaders, like, little further, and they was like, this is it. I would kill him with a knife. I would kill him. I just keep going, I wouldn't even tell him. And then I'd follow the bird's south.

Starting point is 00:04:38 I, anywhere that's warmer. I would just go, I'll be right back. I'm gonna take a piss and then just keep going. And then there's just soon We got to eat and ask first by blackfish. Yeah, but really we're getting tan now now typically Put them Navajo's have you on the house? I never thought of that dude. So I'm broke now now in that cold you understand what you do You got to be with your dogs and you got to be with your carabou and your boys and your boys because you're

Starting point is 00:05:05 living on your carabou and you're living on your dogs are keeping you safe from all the bears. And your boys keep me warm. That's right. What? Right. Now you got your ladies too. Well, how about how about this guy he climbed like he did some you know those guys are I'm gonna climb eight peaks and fucking a week. Yeah, sure He was in the he was in the north pole or the south pole wherever it was If you think it's a real place and they're walking and they're like there is like They're exhausted. They're they're pulling their own sled because he's into these endurance exhibitions like we we pulled the sled over the Send north pole the south pole about the dark spelled pull, blah, blah, blah. They're asking for a ride. And he's like, he's like his face is,

Starting point is 00:05:47 you know, the wind and he's fucking like, they're starving. Like a, and yeah, of course, like a, and they're, he and his partner and like, he's a pretty famous mountain climber. And so they're like, it's famous as they get, right? Yes, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:59 In the mountain climbing circles. Right, sir. In the mountain, in the Alpine circles, sir, very famous. As he's pulling the thing He kind of feels a thing turns around two polar bears Right behind him stalking him nothing worse nothing worse most aggressive bear in the market correct correct and

Starting point is 00:06:22 That story ends oh no with them getting eaten at first. No. No. This just pretend that happened. No, because the story's going nowhere, right? Because the bears don't have nothing. And the bears, and also, and it's not your fault. It's not your fault. Right. That guy's lying.

Starting point is 00:06:34 And now you gotta carry this bullshit torch. So we're gonna make this torch, let's keep much more fire. So he turns around, the bear comes at him. He pulls his six shooter out. He carried six two six shooters. Yes. Right, remember?

Starting point is 00:06:47 Yep, yep. And he goes, he says to his buddy, he goes, get down. And his buddy goes, no! And his buddy runs and throws himself on the grenade, so to speak, on the white grenade. The big hairy white grenade. And then the guy shoots his friend,

Starting point is 00:07:02 good, good, good, his friend dies, but then the other bear they eat his friend And then he was able to get away and he got away. I like it. I didn't have to kill the bear It's a better story they're endangered and now the next person can tear that bullshit torch. See it's right So that's a grass dude That man come was cold, huh? I was here now late now L.A. is no punk either we had you know you know florets bro the rain Yeah, hey L.A.'s no punk either we had you know it's in flurries bro the rain yeah Hey, chill the fuck and I don't want to hear people complain about you know shortages of water We got all the water a lot of water. I've never seen anything like it

Starting point is 00:07:34 Yeah, when I got a film or off the fire stop dude. I did a show. I worked in Burbank Thursday night It was rain so hard. J. Shobb mean J. Shobb driving down there. J. like I don't see in rain like this coming back snow It was raining so hard, Jay Shah. I mean, Jay Shah has drived down there. Jay's like, I don't know if he's seen rain like this. Coming back, snow. Snow. Well, there was still a three- I'd sign up probably with... That's crazy. I'd sign up Abbey Kenny. Snow everywhere.

Starting point is 00:07:52 What? I didn't sign up for this. Really? I left Colorado not to deal with the snow. Correct. I'm in my car. I've never heard the sign go. It was ding below 37 degrees.

Starting point is 00:08:00 I'm like, the fuck is that? The low-curry shadow. What the fuck is that? All the trucks pulled off on the highway. Yeah, they, all the trucks were pulled off on the side. I go, I think the resting jago's no dumbass. There's black eyes everywhere. Cause you know when you go over the overpass,

Starting point is 00:08:13 which you got shut down. Yeah, the rain was nuts. I mean, cause then, and then so I worked, biggest field Thursday night, my crowd, my God. Oh, there's it. They come out and force me. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:23 Well, I signed some tits, die tits. I saw it die tits. Sold out too force yeah, yeah, yeah, I signed some tits died Tits I saw it died to you, right? Yeah, yeah, so but then so then on Saturday Did the back ice houses back open? Pro they shut down for three years? Keto George came they redid it. I hear it looks like it's nuts up I hear it's a laser factory like just it's like you're in the movie Tron, but doing stand up It is not the amount of money to put in the of a VIP room you should see this room cheese and then the exit

Starting point is 00:08:48 goes just a slide straight to the bronze house yeah yeah I don't know how you are about that part yeah okay so we'll say that again so there's a slide that goes right you know how there's like a back at back except for yeah yeah yeah yeah I was like all see guys are like no no no I went yeah because I woke up and then bronzer what the fuck are, yeah. I was like, oh, see guys, I was like, no, no, no. I went, yeah, because I woke up. And then Brian was like, what the fuck are you doing here? I'm like, I'm here for the gangbang? Oh, because it used to be that slide with Landu into just a bunch of marshmallows, remember?

Starting point is 00:09:14 And any more marshmallows. You're in LeBron's house. That's crazy. It's like Space Jam too, yeah. And then there's in the gangbang room. Yes. Okay. It's pretty cool either way, but the rooms dope.

Starting point is 00:09:23 The only problem is that, you know, the new, the book is so dope. I think it names Ali, I think, is that right? Something like that. Real comedy a fish and aught, like wrote for comedy for years, she's great. But the only, the only, they go any notes, I said, the only should I have, it was as bright as this room.

Starting point is 00:09:40 So the entire, the entire room. I'm like, that's why there's so much talking, because they don't feel like they're in a company. But that room goes. But tearing that place down feels like killing an old tree though. There's so much hidden. It's high now I'm getting older, dude. This is high now I'm getting older.

Starting point is 00:09:55 I'm anti-change. They change the sign. I walk in, I'm like, what are they doing? My brother goes, are you 80 years old? Why would you mess with a good thing? It's the ice house. He's like, dude, and it's dope sign. The new sign, so dope looks like ice is coming down.

Starting point is 00:10:08 But then, you remember the small room next door, where they do like, I did a ton of open mics there. They change that, it seats like 90. You should see this room. This cozy little dope room now, but so well done. Oh wow. Think of like the belly room, but. Okay, look at the boys

Starting point is 00:10:27 Tall Joe Adam Ray crushed it. That's will Birkett. I don't know if you know him I know I need a little girl George start but his book his own tour now He's selling out everywhere wow and he opens up for me from time time monster Monk young kid monster and then that's Trevor Wallace. He's so far. He had a joke I could not I even take some next one I you saw my I don't want to give his joke away, but he said he said I'm talking. It's so fucking funny. I was laughing so fucking hard and then tall George He's been getting up a bunch. He's been in Stanford for two years. Yeah, so he's even doing stand-in

Starting point is 00:10:57 I'm host. Yeah, no that yeah, it's funny. Holy shit Yeah, Trevor's the man. Yeah, that's great. All right, let's take a quick break So we take a break let's take a little break from the layer of stories. I know dude. Sorry. Hey, what are you two? I'm a little thing called time. All right No time. Hey listen time. Do you wake up every morning and check your credit score every morning? Okay, because I thought so nobody does that But time does that for you. They are secured. Shine credit builder. They have a secured, chart and builder,

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Starting point is 00:12:40 I like money in sports. I don't even got a big UFC 285 this weekend. John Jones coming back. The king is back. Again, Sarah gone get in on the action with the official sports betting partner, the UFC. New customers can bet just $5 on a pre-fight money line and get $150 in bonus bets if your fighter wins. All draft king's customers can join the excitement

Starting point is 00:13:04 in the octagon with draftraftKings same game parlay combined multiple bets at UFC 285 all right for a shot at an even bigger pal you could parlay John Jones and Bonykel with Chef Chanco there's so many ways to get it done Bonykel's the easy bet there and they got Chef Chanco's big favorite John Jones although Brian Discrease I think John Jones gets it done. Parley, all three of them make bank, bro, with draft kings. Download the app, use the code fighter, new customers combat just $5 on a pre-fight money line and get $150 in bonus bets. If your fighter wins, this Saturday at Draft King Sportsbook with code fighter, middle-age,aged, eligibility restrictions apply, C-Show notes for details, Draft King's.

Starting point is 00:13:47 I had, uh, uh, it friends over last night and, uh, one of our friends told the story that got me going a little bit out of nowhere. It's very interesting. I wonder if I should tell it. Yeah, I will. Well, you're gonna have to, now. Otherwise this story goes nowhere like your beer story This story didn't go anywhere, but it was like Brian mr. Nowear talent. I think this is a story though That was appreciated she goes with some butter balls. I feel like I'm among friends. I go hold. Oh wait, huh?

Starting point is 00:14:15 I said the scene for hold. I know where this is going hold on It's it's it's the sun has dropped right? Sun's drop sir. Is the wine out the wine's out dude? Okay? Everyone and it's been getting, baby asleep for a while. Baby's asleep. Baby's asleep. Fire on? Fire is on.

Starting point is 00:14:30 Now begin the story. Thank you for setting that. Thank you for setting the cogsies. Maybe you're in your sweats. Well, nobody's wearing shoes. Pop, flop, flop. Nobody's wearing shoes. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:14:39 Even the ladies are wearing shoes. Yeah, it's all cozy, cause, cause we're gonna watch, we're gonna watch the Jake Paul fight and we'll get to that and Okay, well that was out of 11 a.m. Okay, yeah, but we had it reserved okay, and then we watched because I was on a plane and we watched a movie called vengeance Which we'll get to I watched the whale with Brendan okay, so you see vengeance sir The venom movie no, it's BJ no back one of the best movies I've seen all BJ's great you will fucking love that you'll watch the whale I

Starting point is 00:15:06 There's a reason he's doing last I will totally watch the whale, but this movie but vengeance is so fucking good and Asher and cut your so fucking good in this and everybody's so good. Oh Okay, but back to the game. Sorry. So Yes, so it's just a bunch We're there two guys two girls. Uh-huh. Okay, you go and then Maybe another couple three girls three guys. Yeah, okay ratio not The room we I'm fact. I'm the way oldest and ugliest. Okay, everybody else is very good looking fact Okay, okay, okay, and ladies look like like your 30s athletic is shit

Starting point is 00:15:44 Everybody's working with a lot of work Okay, ladies look like like your 30s athletic is shit Everybody's working with a lot of work. There's a working with a lot of a lot of stuff going on a lot of good stuff going on You understand these are vibrant young 30-somethings success. We're not talking about plus-sized models here. We're talking about people who work out twice a day Sir you understand me. Okay again. I'm the ugliest person in the room, and I'm whiskers. I'm whiskers and wrinkles. You're the old wise owl in the corner, jacking off. Keep going.

Starting point is 00:16:13 She goes the one that I do. I feel like I'm among friends. Oh, I'm like, sure. Heck, because we've had couple drinks. Oh, that gets me going. Ah, yeah. I'll be your friend. Keep going. Oh, I'm me going. Yeah. I'll be your friend. Keep going.

Starting point is 00:16:26 Oh, I'm your friend. Yeah. And they, and, and, and, and, in fact, I lost over with a, with a, with a bottle of Piper Heitzick, I go, friend share, friend share, more bubbly.

Starting point is 00:16:35 Yes. My, my, my wife goes, take it easy over there. That's a shut up. I'm like, what? I'm, she, we're among friends. Yes, she's a friend. Gotta give her some water.

Starting point is 00:16:46 But it was really interesting. She goes, I had a dream last night. I just feel like sharing it. I was in a bubble bath. With all of you guys. And it was such a turn on. There was this huge carrot. Oh, well, that's a metaphor for it.

Starting point is 00:17:00 Dude, I said, can you describe how big it was? She goes, well, it was was big but it was really thick oh dude she's a so I go so I go she's a whore she's a whore I didn't mean that. I was trying to say it to see. It was so aggressive. I literally had so aggressive, I thought he said she's a four.

Starting point is 00:17:32 I was like, why is it so aggressive? Oh my god. I am moving. No, but keep going. Man, you mine. The side contact. I need your mushrooms, but man, I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna keep going. Man, do you mind? So sorry. May I? Yeah, the side content. I need you to.

Starting point is 00:17:46 I need you to. I'm not so sorry. Oh, fuck, man. I apologize. No, Jesus. Anyway, I'm gonna keep going. So she goes, yeah. And I began, I just started putting it in myself.

Starting point is 00:17:58 Oh, she'll forgive me. And I go, I go. Did you say, is it a big black carrot? No, I didn't say that. I'm not gonna forgive you. Because there a big black carrot? No, I didn't say that. I'm not gonna do it. Cause there are no black carrots. Fuck, man. Do you mind?

Starting point is 00:18:10 I'm so sorry. I took so many questions. I know, bro. She's so hot. If I can get through the story. Yeah, keep going so she's in this bubble bath. And don't fight your ton later. Don't go like this.

Starting point is 00:18:18 No, cheers. It's a black hair. No, it's, it's, okay. So she's in this bubble bath. Let me get some of them. Let me get some of okay. So she's in this bubble bath. So she gets it on top of the water. You know, bubble bath with this. I had carrot. So she goes, I got in this bath

Starting point is 00:18:32 and I got so turned on because I was letting this carrot do its work on me. And it was so hot and I was just so turned on. And then I thought the story and there I go I go and then she got a little embarrassed She goes I'm among friends. I go you're among friends. Hey everybody I'm on friend I'll wake you up. We get some dirt Bad dirt Carried rod

Starting point is 00:18:58 She needs carrots so and she but in black is a big carrot like like that I go Jesus Christ. There's no big care How do you get a carrot that big right? So now I'm like this. She goes, but I'm among friends She got a little off. Yeah, she keeps saying I'm like friends. So she's feeling a little insecure I realize it's more of the story. Oh this care gets naughty And I go so so you did that and she goes I know and then wait What's her guy doing at this point? He's like, carrot. He's, her guy's supposed to stud.

Starting point is 00:19:28 He's kind of quiet. His guy knows her. Her guy's just like, he's, he's like, here she goes. Her guy is a guy, so her guy's like, whatever goes on, goes on. Oh, he's like, I also like carrots. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:42 Now, I should, I should preface this by saying, my wife not in any of that. And not in the wife, carrots? My wife's conservative woman. I like carrots. Yeah, I like carrots. No, I'm saying, you know, but there's a situation. You should like veg.

Starting point is 00:19:57 She'll like steamed veggies. She's bread kind of gal. So, but you don't like to care? Everybody likes to care. Hey dude, stop chewing your tongue. So then, so then, so I think the story's over. There's quiet and then she goes, but then it got really crazy and I go,

Starting point is 00:20:15 I go, what happened? She goes, I put it in my butt, I'm not even into that, but I was just working my butt. And I'm bubble bathed. And I was like, I was like, my butt in a bubble bath. And I was like, I was like, you're nothing wrong with that. And then she goes, I'm among, again, I am among friends. I go, I swear to God, I'm the best friend.

Starting point is 00:20:33 No, I'm your best friend. I said, I love you and I go, but I'm, I'm, I'm rock hard. This is gonna go on my podcast. Yeah. This is going on my podcast. Can you tell your cousin call her a whore? I was so funny. And then I go like this, I go,

Starting point is 00:20:48 you, how do you, how do you, how do you, whatever you're doing? I go, whatever you're doing. Now I, like, whatever you're doing, you're working out, you look fantastic, which she did. She works it. And my wife goes, hey, hey, hey.

Starting point is 00:20:58 She doesn't need that. Hey, back it off. Yeah. And so not, we watched the fight, and then you just watch the fight. But I went, I went. You should have lied again, you should have finished that story with, and we didn't watch the fight. We had our own fight, right?

Starting point is 00:21:13 Well, you know, there's always that energy in the room sometimes. You have friends who are couples and made sure. You know what she was doing? Yeah. She's like this right now, in that, in that whore pool. Yeah. That's her, that's her, that's her, that's her, that's her,

Starting point is 00:21:26 that's her, that's her. Some people dip their toe in the swinger pool, now we're not swingers, me and my lady. She was barking up the wrong tree. But that's okay, it's all good. I like the effort, but I appreciate the effort. Oh, what an effort. And I really do appreciate couples that,

Starting point is 00:21:40 that, that, that, that, get, have you ever had the, do you know couples that are, they don't tell anybody probably but there are apps There are apps for swinger couples. Yeah, I'm just like swingers. I have never I don't believe I've ever had a serious relationship with any woman in my life That was ever remotely into no no you you need frowned upon yeah frowned upon but let me ask you this I'm like it's it in the candy store? Is it because they've raised that way? Or is it because they- The judgmental society?

Starting point is 00:22:09 Is that what it is? And if it wasn't judgment- Somebody in the room's gonna get on a podcast and tell this story. Well, if it wasn't judgmental, do you think women would be more that way than women? I don't think so. No.

Starting point is 00:22:21 You have to be a real open flower. Yeah. You know? Maybe before kids. When you're kids, you're just so fucking kids. You can to be a real open flower. Yeah, you know, maybe before kids, when you're kids, you're just so fucking can't be a mom having your kids in your ass. What are we doing? You know what, your mother, when you're a mom, you don't put this big thick black hair in your ass.

Starting point is 00:22:36 It all changed for the stew baby. Don't be black carrot. Why? No, you can get black carrots. You never say anything about a black carrot. I pictured in the orange. This is my story now. I know, but it's my anything about a black carrot. I pictured that's not this is my story now I know black Orange

Starting point is 00:22:47 Orange now that's not fun. No, it's like a dark purple carrot. They exist. Oh, yeah, I've had them Black carrot episode, bro Chin you brought that up right back here an incredibly nutritious they have high amounts of Anthosinans A pig with a gizav a vegetable a deep purple color, it looks almost black. Deep purple, black purple. Winter's an India, incomplete with various carrot preparations.

Starting point is 00:23:12 Black carrots are used to make Kali, Kajar, Kikhanji. And stick up your ass. No one said that. I never heard that. No, she told me she started carrying her. Look, in her dream, I just thought that was a great way to get her, the care is dirty. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:23:28 Care is dirty. And care is dirty. The care is dirty. The care is dirty. The care is dirty. I'm not first of all apologize to everybody who listens. I'm 56. I'm, I want to apologize.

Starting point is 00:23:39 Dude, I turned 40 next month. It's so unbelievable that I've still haven't, dude, people putting care in their ass will never not be fun I guess and more power to or but I never I appreciate the honest I never pictured myself this way because well a lot of guys my age are talking about physics and the world and and they're serious Not for you my man, and I'm just doing this with all my carrots and asses. It's not both change in the world It's really not acceptable and who who then care to take on the right? Yeah, well people have weird So so the comments you did your wife go, okay, fights on like enough's enough

Starting point is 00:24:14 Okay, fight has started Amy enough with your fucking care. I'm gonna tell this story because it's okay You're feeling naughty my mother had a friend and she told me her friends now probably 80, maybe not even around. Yes, right, dead. Her, she had a friend who went to see a therapist. And the reason she saw a therapist was because she could not, she was so obsessed with getting gang banged. Oh. Yes, gang banged by construction workers.

Starting point is 00:24:45 Listen to this. That she was fucking hiring men to come to a house and work around her house on fake shit and then wearing like when she couldn't help herself and she was I guess hooking up with, but she could never get down. She could never get all of them. She ordered? The idea that one guy was there and the other guys

Starting point is 00:25:08 were in the room. So you guys have to put in the work. How fucking crazy. Other guys, like, working here. Yes. Washers, you can just bang down. Yes, fake constraint.

Starting point is 00:25:18 I'm sure she could find some of the legit constructions. So what did you get the fairuckness because it was, uh, Wait, is she older than if she's your mom's friend? She was older. Well, I don't know how old she was. I don't know how she was when I was going on, is she older than? She's your mom's friend. She was older. Well, I don't know how old she was. I don't know how she was when I was going on, but she was clearly definitely a housewife.

Starting point is 00:25:31 I don't know. A housewife. A housewife. The whore. Well, my buddy used to put pools in. He was like a good looking guy. I mean, you have this. He would go to a house and he was like,

Starting point is 00:25:42 he would build a pool or he would do maintenance on pools. And there was always, because he was a stud. There was always a house, a house wife, a house that would come around the pool. And webbet, he said he'd be down the pool and they'd come out in a skirt with no underwear. And they'd just come out in the skirt with no underwear or whatever.

Starting point is 00:26:02 And I was like, I remember I go, and they would cycle. I go, did you? And he goes, well, of course. Oh wow. I have a pull guy. Good, good, good. He's probably at the house right now. No, no, no, he looks like shit.

Starting point is 00:26:14 Oh, no. He does bite design. Yeah. That pull, yeah, that shit is true. If you're gone all the time. Oh, you got to hand some pull boy. I mean, you know? You know? No, my pull guy looks like trash. Yeah. Maybe got to hand some pool boy. I mean, you know, you know, no, my

Starting point is 00:26:25 pool guy looks like trash. Yeah, maybe looks like an armadillo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, you came in sexual today. I came in. I just started thinking about the stories. I love hard. What are you trying to do, man? I know. I never really get a cure. It's the same. I just love how complicated human beings are sexual. I like how open that lady was at the fucking house party. I put in tears in her ass. I love this shit. Thank you for sharing that story with me.

Starting point is 00:26:53 But never do it again, right? I never judge you, but I will talk about it on my podcast. Oh, I'm into it. You tell her I said, hey. Oh yeah, 100%. She's a great person anyway, but. Yeah, sure. I mean, you don't know her, but yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:04 But also conservative. Like the other, what I like is when somebody walks around and they're conservative You know what sounds like she had a little too much to drink feeling nodding that's what it's all a thick cared on your table Yeah, I was like all that reminds me yeah, I put that in my ass. Oh dude my buddy in fucking college another stud His dad had a company his dad's second and command His wife the guy's wife was 40 my buddy was 19 and He was changing. He had been in there on vacation and he's super muscular and she got drunk and Came in to the room when he was getting changed and sucked them. That's right. That's right. Why I'm sorry Why because he was a stud and her husband was well, he'd let himself go he had the husband didn't care

Starting point is 00:27:57 He cared but he didn't know he didn't know and she kept going you're my fantasy or my fantasy on these horrors He didn't know and she get going. You're my fantasy or my fantasy. These horrors, dude. Jesus, dude. I'll call him to be where we're going. Just call him in beings. You want to suck, you want to suck. Who happened to be tired of, you know,

Starting point is 00:28:11 just the stash of the... It's on the husband, really. It's on everybody. You want to hire the fucking hot pool boy. What do you think is gonna happen? Yeah. You got these black carrots everywhere. Uh-huh. Right.

Starting point is 00:28:22 Uh-huh. Hot pool. Boy, you-huh. Hot, boys. Well, you came in hot today, the came in hot. I came in hot. And? Can I get some color on the fight? Were you surprised? Oh, heavy on the color.

Starting point is 00:28:32 Oh, by the way, speaking of color, I'll be a Nashville this weekend. I don't know if you knew that. Nashville's great color this weekend. Nashville's great color this weekend. Well, I'm headed to Brayett. I've won show Friday because Saturday I have a fight campaign. I have Will Compton from Busy with the bros. I have jelly roll biggest song right now in country music. Wow. And rampage Jackson for the return of the king. That's

Starting point is 00:28:53 a hell of a fight. You see 285 John Jones is happening this fucking Saturday. We have a bet on that. Don't we? Did we bet on Rogan? Maybe we should probably bet on it. We'll break it down this. But can bet on it. We'll break it down this. But Brea, two shows, one night only Friday, then Oklahoma City, March 9th through the 11th, then I end March in Tacoma, March 23rd through 25th. But you're gonna be a Nashville.

Starting point is 00:29:14 Yes. Thoughts on the, thoughts on the, this fight breakdown brought to you by our updates. Okay. This fight breakdown is brought to you by Black carrots. By Black carrots. In the hot tub. I mean, Tommy, the advancement that he's made, because his last fight, like we had Ryan

Starting point is 00:29:33 Garcia on, he was the thing of two-hour boxing, he goes, his first round, he goes, wow, Tom's gotten a lot better. He was, if you watch his last fight, he was, I predicted Jake was going to knock him out too with you. He goes, he's gotten so much better. I said, that's what's tough on predicting fights where a guy has six fights, they're there at seven fights. The advancement they make, who knows?

Starting point is 00:29:51 Like, you're basing off what? You know, so you're based off, I'm biased. I'm, you know, the Paul Brothers are my boys. I don't know Tommy, but if you look at Tommy's last fight, he didn't look anything like this. He looked phenomenal. He looked good. I broke out with Zair all night. I know. I thought it was very easy to score. I thought

Starting point is 00:30:08 Tommy won at least five to six rounds. Agreed. Yeah. But also like I, I thought to myself, he's got about the best camp you could get or certainly. I'm never worried about that. I mean, you're a good camp too. No, never. I don't give a fuck about that. You think his camp is nearly as good as you don't care about camps. My whole thing'm never, I don't give a fuck. You think his camp is nearly as good as him. I don't care about camps. My whole thing was just, I just, Tommy's never been a main event. He's never gone past five rounds. He's never been in a big situation.

Starting point is 00:30:31 How's he gonna handle the pressure? We don't know. Jake hasn't fought a traditional boxer. Yeah. And a young guy. Tommy's been boxing and a young guy. It's a strong guy. So there's all these act factors.

Starting point is 00:30:42 So yeah, decision is all good. I thought to myself, those guys are gonna watch Jake and they're gonna see what his tendencies are and they're gonna give him a game plan that he can follow, that's kind of what I thought. He looked really good. Look great. Avoid the right hand.

Starting point is 00:30:54 And I thought, I thought the left hook all night, he kept getting hit with the left hook. Yes, but I thought to myself, a sloppy fight, but they have seven fights in the end. I was about to say that. I was about to say that. So it was sloppy,

Starting point is 00:31:03 but I was about to say, like, like, boxing's really fucking hard. And you're supposed to look like everything's seven after seven times. Like that's, he's been boxing, Jake's been boxing what, three years? Three years.

Starting point is 00:31:15 You look like you got it, some fights. Yeah, literally, some fights. And some fights in three years, isn't a lot. It's not like a 30 fights. So three years is not a long, like just like you make fun of me, but I really did work hard at boxing in terms of like enough to know how hard it is and how like just how it's, there's something about the speed and the margin for error.

Starting point is 00:31:36 And if you haven't been doing it forever and if you start, even though he started, you know, he still started fairly late compared to a lot of kids. He's young though, and he's athletic. So he can make up that with this training and i just thought was watching him and some i was like man boxings hard that that's exact that makes it so much but they need each other like before the fight me and uh... how i'm and lousy loser goes home like losers crares over

Starting point is 00:31:57 like if we'll accept around the ground that one well no hold on him yeah so jake were to flatline Tommy his his career's over. If Tommy flat line Jake, Jake, get your bags out. Decision, all right, we can do this again. Because you know, as Jake said, you know, judge me by my losses. Now we're gonna find out if Jake actually wants to be a boxer. Because he can make money doing anything. Coming off a loss, like the loss is fucking suck.

Starting point is 00:32:21 So now let's see what he's made up. Now if you actually want to do it, get better, go back in the gym. He should have posted a video today him doing road work or training or something that should prove that he wants this as bad as we think he does. Because everyone's saying, it's just a cash grab. No proof is wrong.

Starting point is 00:32:34 So now we'll see how much he wants to be a boxer based on his next fight. But don't get twisted. Tom only has what eight or nine fights? Tom ain't fighting another legit boxer who's undefeated with nine fights. They need each other. So there's gonna be a rematch or there's Logan Paul there,

Starting point is 00:32:49 there's Nate Diaz, Connor down the road, but they need each other. They're in the box in lane, but then the fast lane entertainment lane. You don't wanna get out of that lane. Well, the fight is a real guy. No, just keep making $20 million. And see, you can see that.

Starting point is 00:33:03 You can see that. And fuck the haters. Just keep making money. You can see with Fight each other. You could see that. You could see that. And fuck the haters. Just keep making money. You could see with Jake, you could see he needs a lot more time. It's because they both could, because what, I'm sorry, but like stand up, because like stand up, there are certain things that I don't give a fuck. Takes time.

Starting point is 00:33:17 Who you are, takes forever. Takes time. And so, you know, he doesn't want to get in there with like a guy who's had, you know, some of these bosses. No, no, no, no, no. Like a real top guy. And they were going to rank, if Jake won, you know, some of these boxers. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Like yeah, he's good for only having six to seven fights. So is Tommy. They're both flawed as shit and have a long way to go. Hey, neither one's a me, world champ. Tommy doesn't have a long career in this.

Starting point is 00:33:50 They need each other. So they should rematch or fight it Logan, but staying that lane and make the money. Don't jump over. I thought about that for a change. I was like, do you really want to do this? I think I'm really excited about their rematch. They'll find out.

Starting point is 00:34:02 I'm excited about their rematch, but I thought to myself, like what's the upside of actually trying to go for it as a boxer? Well, what's go for it means guys? What's go for it means? Like go for it means. Go for it means an actual rank boxer where you're fighting real rank guys.

Starting point is 00:34:14 No, that's not his future. I think the go for it for him is. His fight beat Tommy. Nate. Then hopefully it can't our fight your brother and you four or five fights and get out of it. Exactly. Like if you're goals to fight like a Canal no no no no what he says that sometimes

Starting point is 00:34:31 I'm like he's trolling but he knows not let me ask you this do you think that because he's famous and because he's no Does he in the in his camp when he has sparring partners? Do you think the sparring partners go easier? No, no, no, no, the stupid, no. You wouldn't make it this far. He, you Drake trains hard as shit. I know he trains hard as shit. I'm saying with sparring. What kind of, what would you,

Starting point is 00:34:54 what do you bring for him? I love your guys. I love them. Who are moving around with them. Yes, that are similar to, they're not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he goes all out. His sparring's insane.

Starting point is 00:35:03 His sparring, I think, is too hard. Like, they go balls out. Yes. Because he's with, and that's the boxing community, like, training is sparring. Nobody takes it easy, be in boxing. That's not what they do. The sweet science, they fuck, they fuck each other up.

Starting point is 00:35:17 Yeah. Jake's in that world, you know? And his coaches are straight, legit world class boxing coaches. Yeah. They're giving him the words. Damn. But, you know, again, it takes time. It takes time.

Starting point is 00:35:29 I think he's a good. I think he's as good as it gets for that in about three years. He's done a minute. Even Ryan Garcia said this. He goes, people will make fun of, he's fighting MMA guys. He's fighting hard, come to his, and then I fight in my first six fights. Oh, yeah. And Floyd, Canelo, he goes, he's like, for him to be only six fights in fighting these

Starting point is 00:35:44 type of guys. He this really tough. Yes That's Ryan Garcia. He's fighting Javante Davis. Nice. How's it? Did you talk something about that? Yeah, yeah Kimadjou was like nah, didn't bring it up dude. What a what? That's gonna be April 22nd and Obviously tanks favorite. Yeah, he's almost three to one favorite. Yeah That's gotta be I got my boy Ryan Yeah. That's gotta be, like, my boy Ryan, man. That's gotta be nerve wracking. And not to him, he didn't give a fuck. He was like, I'm not nervous about all.

Starting point is 00:36:12 We've been asking for this fight for Reeser. Yeah, monster. He lives around here, great kid. Great fucker. I heard him. I heard he was really good on the show. It's fantastic. Yeah, he's great.

Starting point is 00:36:23 How tall? I don't know, man. My height. No. Short of thinner. Five tenish, I think. Yeah, better here. Five ten. I don't care. Black. I have them, but they're in my pants right now. Oh, I'm wearing, if you know what I mean. Yeah, you missed a good time on the companion, buddy. And we'll miss you this Saturday too, because you'll be in Nashville. But I do, how about, just for John Jones return, which we can about you could just for John Jones return which we can get to just for John Jones return I told Justin. Yeah, I'm like you have to cancel braille on Saturday It's like what might I have to do a campaign for John Jones return. I have to I never cancel

Starting point is 00:36:57 I'm like I have to do and you canceled yeah, I'm only doing two shows on Friday. I'll just do Friday Saturday Look you get an accident in life. You get into car accidents, over five million car crashes in 2040. I'm alone. Do that's 15,000 a day? Yes. 600 an hour. Yes, they're shocking number of them.

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Starting point is 00:38:19 or pound L.A.W. pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Can you, can I see, can you put cards? Dude, you're gonna wanna get your car now. We put some money down next. This is Chef Janko's fightin' too. Ooh, love Chef Janko. That's my leg. Most people think she lost her last fight, but yeah. And then my boy, Bone Nichols is fighting too.

Starting point is 00:38:36 It kicks off the main event. I mean, cards are. So, do you wanna get into this? I mean, you have John Jones. John under, I mean, the safe bets under four via submission or TKO for Melbus. Wow, really? Any other brain busters?

Starting point is 00:38:55 I got Cyril gone. Sure. You think the layoffs, there's too much for John, there's too slow at heavier. I just think that you're talking about a very big man in Cyril gone a high-level striker I have to believe he's been working every angle. He's in France So he's close enough to those Eastern European places where he's probably bringing people in who are gonna show him a whole bunch of looks

Starting point is 00:39:15 Clenches and all that learning how to stop the takedown. Mm-hmm. Jimmy, favorite Brian tell me the best wrestler Cyril God's beat. I'll give you some time. Chin go and bring his record up. Well, you have any carrot? Well, I'm gonna go ahead and say, show me the best wrestler though. What's the best crap place fighting the UFC? I would say he's not fun any crap. No, but just saying the best one out of there.

Starting point is 00:39:37 Why junior to Santos? Oh, so who didn't attempt to take down? But I'll tell you who outgrapalled him with one leg. I know. Francis and God. Now what you want to bet? I'll bet you, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go,

Starting point is 00:39:51 I'm gonna go to grand, I'm gonna go. Go heavy daddy, go heavy. I'll bet you five characters. You want to go five grand? But what are you saying? Are you saying he, you just want to have to be... No, I'm not.

Starting point is 00:40:02 You just said, no, I think you finished them. Do you want to do that? He's a slight favorite. Let's put a grant five, five, five Jesus. There's a lot because when I wish you, you'll see they posted John, hit myths wasn't great. I don't know who knows. Maybe you lost a little slow. Yeah. That little plotting. That's a lot of weight to put on. Remember, he knows not guys out. You don't need to. We finished them. wait to put on. Remember, he knows knock guys out. He doesn't need to. He finishes them. And you're you're you're you're relying on his wrestling here. He gets hit too. I'm relying on everything. He cannot get hit by Cyril gone. No, not at all. So, so I'm going to have to go back to

Starting point is 00:40:37 Cyril's record, though, Jim. This is the other confusion people want to make. Cyril's not really a knockout artist. You knocked out Tyto Vasa. Well, you have to. Oh, no, you have. Tyto Vasa. But that's where I went. Tyto Vasa is full set.

Starting point is 00:40:53 He has no mochil. So again, full set. Tyregalus has no chill. Tyregalus has no chill. All right, an older junior, him behind me. That's fine. So decision to Tanner Boster. Decision to Rosenstruck, right?

Starting point is 00:41:07 Decision to Alexander Vokov, right? Yep. He's not really a knockout artist. Yeah, he'll pick you apart. Yeah, I'll say something. Now, Derek Lewis tied to Vasa, somebody can knock that when he fights those guys. Unless it's Francis Derek, well, other than that.

Starting point is 00:41:19 Yeah, slugging away. I just... Those guys go for broke. And he's a high level kickboxer. Yeah. They're saying a high level kickbox. Yeah. They're saying a kickbox in match. Yeah. And you're crazy if you think John's gonna,

Starting point is 00:41:29 his ego's so big, he's gonna be like, yeah, I'm just gonna sit on that. I'm taking an account, one of the guys. The ring rust. And the ring rust. And the fact that he could make 205 and you could never make 205. And either could serial gun.

Starting point is 00:41:40 That's a, that's significant. It's just... John can't make 205. No, in 205 he used to kill his body. I'm sure he did, but he's... His camps, he was... It's how towns are John. It's just John can't make 205 now and 205 he's the kill is by I'm sure he did his camps. It's how towns are John is he's cancer is just him cutting weight really? Yeah, it's out town to be because it's two or five is too big of a cut. He hated cutting weight Yeah, you'd walk around 240. He doesn't have a reason managed to hear does he yes? He does he does. Yeah, I had much get him out Let's see and he knows how to use it

Starting point is 00:42:03 He has the longest reach in the UFC tied with Stefan John's 85ish right. So Surgon's 81. Damn no. John must I think is 82. I think it's 85ish. Let's see. Might be 84. I think John's 84. 84 half. Jesus Christ man. Any other brain busters. God damn. Yeah. But no, you got two grand on Sir Gun. Straight up. I'm not doing any of this. Two grand. Carat shit.

Starting point is 00:42:29 Yeah, I got two grand. I just think that John's gonna be slower. Sure. I think he's my gas. Oh yeah. I think he's got some of the gas in his hands before. He's got rimless and I think he just can't. I think he's gonna get pieced up.

Starting point is 00:42:41 I don't think he can, he's definitely sparring with heavy weights, yeah. And always always sparring with heavy weights. Yeah. Molly walked them. Molly walked for us. But Brendan said that training with him. No, I mean, he's a freak. He said he wouldn't mess up. You don't want to bet against a champion like you just it's a dumb idea. But I'm going to just I'm going to because I was so impressed with Cyril gone with Tyde who have also and he that's what sort you. He's so big. That's what sort you are. He's so big. He's just physically his frame is bigger

Starting point is 00:43:07 and that's significant. And I think John's French though, right? Well, and Faye, French though, right? Well, both things. Well, Faye, Faye, Faye. Here's a God's Word, Tire me la bouche. Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye.

Starting point is 00:43:20 Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye. Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye. Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye. You're telling the sickness, dude. I'm just saying that He got to grand He's just a giant man now bring up the God's Mac logo. Oh, I love it He's a freak to athlete. He is now real great. I know we're very bad. So I'm not trying to change your mind You know John has more title defenses same same same John's go. No John has more title defenses

Starting point is 00:43:44 Then zero gone has bite John is the goat. So remember and sir. Gun has never title defenses same same same John's go no John has more title defenses then Cyril gone has bite John is the goat so remember and Cyril gone has never faced never a grappler now Now know is he facing a grappler he's facing the best to ever do it the guy to down his Daniel Corny a down a two-time man being Daniel Corny broke him yeah you'll see that page Daniel's face like oh shit. Yeah, dude. Yeah, double now to Advocate for your side base off his last three fights. He used no rest. Correct and got hit all the time And some people thought he lost on the grades in the Augustantus That's my thing, but you're banking on that you're banking on that John who didn't give a fuck showing up to this one When this is for history and cement his legacy is the pound ground girls of all time and you fucked up

Starting point is 00:44:24 You know you fucked up right? And you don't want to bet against a champion but I'm just dead. All right, there you go. Oh, man, my eyes itching. Don't put your eye gunk on my hand. We bet a two grand and a bag of black hairs. See how my- Dude, I want my hair.

Starting point is 00:44:39 Check your pulse at the same time. See that? Because when I've poisoned you, I watch you die. Oh. Yeah, there you go. I can't, that fight's's that card's stacked, dude. Can I see you else's fight? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:49 Because we got, see if you recognize any of those things. We got Shoshanko and Alex Agrasso. Who is the last person Alex Agrasso fought? It doesn't matter, you won't know, but listen. I don't know. If you look at the rest of the card, just look at the rest of the card, B. Let's not get going on the Alex Agrasso rabbit hole, right?

Starting point is 00:45:04 I don't know, I don't know shop cat Oh, oh cat daddy The thing using me the night to walk away champ undefeated savage beat Neil Magny. Oh Fuck that guy's a killer. Don't I think you know I'm talking about I saw a game right he fought dear you Savage Jalen turn that's why you fight the night then bone nickel is gonna twist Jamie Piggas dick off. Yeah, Bonnickle. Oh, that's my guy, dude. Yeah, he's my guy. The entire...

Starting point is 00:45:29 I watched him. The United States is banking on him. Yeah, he's a killer. Oh, I mean, the prelims. Cody Garbranson. Shit. Derek Branson, du police, he's a great fight. Great fight.

Starting point is 00:45:39 Ian Garry's fighting the early prelims. Jessica Penny, it's great fucking card. Take all my money. Take my money, Brian. What, can you, can I get your picks? Jones, Chef Chanco, cat rat daddy, Gamrott, Bonykle,

Starting point is 00:45:54 Cody Garbrant, Dick Brunson, Julian Marquez, and Gail. Cody Garbrant, really? Yes. He's had a rough one. He's had a rough go for a while. He's my friend. Holy shit, my eyes, it's you. Now can uh, can uh, can psoriasis, skin your eyes?

Starting point is 00:46:12 No, I think it's my show's bow. Is it make my eyes it? Yeah. Why would you guys? It's because what happens is you just fix it on something and you go, hmm, my eyes itching. No, no, no, my's itching though. How do you feel though, you feel good? I feel alright, man. All I can think about, I wanna know. All I can think about is big black hair. That's you, that's you. So the other questions is, you'll fix it on one thing?

Starting point is 00:46:35 No, I'm just gonna think about it. No, no, no, no. All right, good. Well, oh, you gotta watch that movie, The Whale, Brennan Frazier, it was only a $ three million dollar budget it's made like whatever thirty million the papers supposed to win the Oscar who it's good really heartfelt uh... vengeance one of the best movies i've seen a long time

Starting point is 00:46:53 they said that modern day you gotta watch the whale though it's so you're still in all the what's how did he do that was that just a that's it no that's it using the chair for like eight hours, they said. Fuck. I'm slowly turning into that.

Starting point is 00:47:08 He's the nicest guy in the world. Oh, look at him. Oh man. Is it really sad? It is sad. It's a hard one. It's a good movie. What a picture.

Starting point is 00:47:17 You saw it? No, I just, I lived it. Yeah, it's a good movie. I was a big, it was big. You don't have a daughter and you're not gay, spoiler. You did, you did live it. Yeah. Have you seen it? No. I'd like to see you take. You don't have a daughter and you're not gay, spoiler. You did, you did, you did. Yeah, besides, how do you see it? No, I like to see you.

Starting point is 00:47:27 You should watch it though. I wanna get your take. Your story is definitely ending different than his. Yeah. My home. That will be upon the heartstrings and then fucking American idol, dude. Yeah, they had this fucking kid on there.

Starting point is 00:47:39 He was a mass shooting, a school shooting, lost eight of his friends, he's in the same room. And he goes, I'd never had confidence to sing, kind of a bigger kid with a mullet. And he starts singing in this country. He sings whiskey Myers. And dude, and Katy Perry just starts crying. She's like in tears, and he's never seen this emotional.

Starting point is 00:47:57 She's like, America has failed you. She goes, you should be here to sing because you want to sing. Not because you were scared from a math fucking shooting. Great mullet though. But he makes it, then they do it. It pulls out your heartstrings. And this other little talented girl, she's 15,

Starting point is 00:48:13 her dad is the military, and I forget, she grew up in some small town, but she wanted to go to New York to get voicing and lessons, and dad's like, the only way I can do that, I enter the military, but I'm begun all the time, but I'll sacrifice for you. So her dad's missed all nine of her birthdays, never around, they bring in she can see they give her the platinum tickets. They give one platinum every city where you skip the first round.

Starting point is 00:48:35 She can. Hey, shout out to dad. To check this out. They go we have a video from your dad. Oh, so the dad's like, love you babe blah blah blah. They go, we have one more gift. So they're like, you know, she blows the roof off the fucking place. They go, and then her dad just walks in behind. What? Can I see this, please? It was kicked off air. You got to watch it on Sunday nights. Is there name Kaelin Hedges? She's only 15 year old American. I know this year with a military dad. Yeah, that's probably what I'm talking about. There it is, military dad, that's a prize 50 year old daughter.

Starting point is 00:49:08 She can't watch it for a second. She can't see. Do you wanna watch it? And then cut it out? Yeah. It's good to show as guests. It's my favorite. Now, no fucking Sunday.

Starting point is 00:49:16 They don't know as he has another family for a change. And she was at your house, so I'm out of care. It's the other day. Chin, bring up the school shooter kit. Last one. I'm this show every Sunday. I cry every fucking Sunday, Jesus Christ. It's a bit of a coincidence.

Starting point is 00:49:32 The kid. Isn't it crazy? I can't believe you don't watch this show. He's Texas. I can't believe you don't watch this show. He's Texas too. He's like, he's just like fucking tough. He's just like, yes man.

Starting point is 00:49:42 Yeah, yeah. Proper. I've been through it. Sales mattresses. And I'll sing like a sick angel. Sing, yes man. Yeah, yeah. Proper. I've been through it. Cells mattresses. And I'll fuck you, sing my ass off. Sing my ass off. I'm buying a fucking mattress from him. I'm going to death.

Starting point is 00:49:52 Yeah. Am I getting a little carried away? A little bit. Dude, that's a never seen that show. You never seen that show, dude. Nuts. Nuts, fuck. Hard not to cry.

Starting point is 00:50:00 Nuts, dude. Oh, every, you mean my girl, every Sunday cry. Dude, it's such a hard,. Oh, I cry hard, bro. Well, if you don't cry over that, when you have kids too, it makes you so emotional. Oh, way worse. Yeah, let's show, you gotta start watching that show.

Starting point is 00:50:15 When you love something, you get the stories. Once they get into the like real rounds, I don't like it. Yeah, I like now, the conditions. The come up is one of the auditions that I like. Once they start doing like Disney, we can shit them out. But right now like when they're coming up

Starting point is 00:50:28 and you hear the stories, oh I love it. They got away from really, so they're like show like how bad people are and the judges would be like super brutal. They got completely away from that. Which I remember that. I don't like it. I didn't like it either.

Starting point is 00:50:40 I don't like making fun of people. No, no, no, no, I don't like now. I'm not with you on that. Oh really? I don't think it should be a whole show I like making fun of people. No, no, no, I don't like now. I'm not with you on that. Oh really? I don't think it shouldn't be a whole show I'm making fun of people. But you just, I like it and people chin-chat. Show business is the most ruthless business in the world.

Starting point is 00:50:53 Some of these people, because they have a sad story, I didn't like the way they do it. You're going to Hollywood, I'm like, you can do them a disservice. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, In the beginning though they would have people that you knew were not right in the head And then they would just make fun of them. They'd show up dressed in a certain way and then they just fun though Yeah, and that's all they want was their airtime But then we make fun they'd like this isn't for you man people are looking for a real competition But now they go now everything's like I'm you know me on most positive person I don't fuck with the negativity, but when someone's like you can tell they're not on the they're not you see the talent like that

Starting point is 00:51:24 15-year-old and then him yeah, and then the, they're not, you see the talent like that 15 year old and then hand, and then they'll pass on because whatever they have some sad story, they're like, well, you're going to Hollywood, it's like, no, dude, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, people get kicked in the fucking nuts when they get to Hollywood. Yeah, it's such a set, you think sports is savage. Yeah, come to Hollywood. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:51:40 What? And by the way, I'll add something else. You can be an amazing actor. You can be an amazing talent and you Never get seen never and there are plenty of I would spend enough time in acting class where I saw some just I mean Fucking genius actors and they're still working on a restaurant. They're good film actresses My my acting teachers to say that he'd look at them and go You're the most

Starting point is 00:52:05 talented person in this class and I'll throw you the fuck out of here and I remember this one guy goes I've learned so much from you because I don't care I don't care the fact that you're not working means you've got to focus on something else but you're the best actor ever I've seen in this class he said was something just not connected like some couldn't never got a shot yeah it came from a wealthy family Oh, no, no, and he picked up on he goes you come from money, huh? Yeah, someone goes a lot is a plan B

Starting point is 00:52:31 Huh, he if there's a plan B if you have like a fault All men plan B man because there's somebody starving out there. Yeah, desperation is not a bad thing man, you know Yeah, if it works out for you. Yeah, well, I mean yeah Yeah, but but hunger hunger. Let's put it that way hunger drive I get you know what I show either chin American Idol. Yeah, I used to watch a way back in the day Oh, it's good. I don't have regular TV now But what did you think? That girl's voice what did you think at 15 years girl? At 15 years old, insane dude. Right? That young.

Starting point is 00:53:06 All the range and stuff. The school shooting kid, like he started off a little rocky and it's good. You probably won't win it, but you should be in the... His personality, nowadays you don't need to be the best singer. You have to be someone that actually stands out. Yeah, really. You probably doesn't have as much time to work on it and stuff.

Starting point is 00:53:18 He's just got a lot of instinct, but I could tell there's a big difference in his instrument and that girl's instrument. That girl's... That 15 year old she's training. Yeah. But that's... Yeah, that 15-year-old she's training. She's training. Yeah. But that's like Katie, they were saying this on the show last night.

Starting point is 00:53:29 She's like, we have so much like raw talent because it'd be the first time they've ever sung in public. Yeah. And like, she goes, when I was coming up, everyone would do shows, open mics. Now, like have you been on stage like, nope, never. Like, the first time ever singing out louds here in front of us, I was like, yeah, she goes,

Starting point is 00:53:42 which is not supposed to work like, yes. But like yes but yeah that's happening now is all these kids are they're watching exactly right yes and so and this is even happening like tennis you've got kids that are that are growing up watching Roger Federer their strokes are exactly like that then the rest is just how big and strong are you but fucking fucking, everything is just tuned up. Advances. And yeah, and so now in Juilliard, like Juilliard was like the place where Robin Williams was always really, it was the most prestigious where you learn how to dance,

Starting point is 00:54:14 saying act, all that, yes. But now the person who was auditioning said, everybody who steps in there is fucking working on a level that 10, 15 years ago we would have been like, oh my god. No, there's just one more bunch, yeah. They're all like that. They're all just singing on a different, you hear these people saying, but also American

Starting point is 00:54:33 Idol too, you have to back in the day like first 15 seasons, or I'm season 21 now, first 15 seasons, you have to fly in the city where they're holding auditions, they don't do that anymore. Really? Now you submit a video. So they get, they're getting people from Ghana, from India. That fly in, they go, yep, you're, you're come in because they pass them from LA. That's why you're not getting the crazy. Well, that's why you're not getting the crazy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, dude, my tongue. Dude.

Starting point is 00:55:06 Oh, child, things are gonna get easier. I don't mind it. Dude, I think the limit is 40. I think it's 15 to four. I really enjoyed it. Wait, it was me younger. It's like 15 to maybe 30. Maybe 35's the limit.

Starting point is 00:55:23 Things are gonna get easier 29 oh man no more than What really god damn it that true yeah, I remember hear me hit that note. I know it's just the boat Sails the Sails America's try mama America's track mom. Oh, no, no, no, no, the matter the boat sailed 23 years ago for you. Mama. Oh, I know somebody's gonna hear that. Broadway. They're gonna hear that. Didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again, this time tomorrow, carry on on what's this carry on?

Starting point is 00:56:07 Shipsail, dude carry on carry on More of a Broadway vibe really anymore care story That's in this shit right now current events current events This okay, this is from we didn't use this yet. This is from last week, but there was right now I'll get a shit man also hey bitch you live in Florida What you do walking by a pond not about way to go though, but why they gotta do that? I get it like that Why do I got it? I got his hand behind his back. He's not like his shoulders like cars I heard it's like

Starting point is 00:56:41 It's not like his shoulders are like cars. Like, he's like, fuck. Like, look at that Gator. Oh, man. The Gator's like, are you shitting me? Some old lady comes by and I eat her, you fucking time me up like a prisoner. So the Gator went for her dog first. And then she tried to save the dog

Starting point is 00:56:56 and the Gator dragged her into the water. So the Gator said, even better. And she's 85. She was 85. She says, oh, he said, I like my meat aged, right? Yeah. That's how it's aged. 80 years wagyu white girl. She was 85. She says oh, he said I like my meat aged 80 years wagyu white girl Not going 85 85 years wagyu a roll not a bad way to die that's not a good way probably that's the worst way to tie that

Starting point is 00:57:26 Dude they don't till the galleys they were fragile bones when he did the gator roll. Yeah. Every bone on her body. Grabbed her, like, so this guy was on the kayak. Grabbed her legs. Crocodile grabbed the guy here around the shoulder. That's not happening. He died before he had to walk. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:57:37 He grabbed her by the leg. Oh, damn. And dragged her in. I think she probably died from like drowning, but she'd done drown. It didn't need her though, did it? I saw, no, it didn't need it. But I saw like a part of the Gator team, which I thought was interesting that you guys might like. That's one of the,

Starting point is 00:57:51 you need a heavy girl, it's not in that gator. She, you need to have that gator. She's not going anywhere. That gator ain't going nowhere. With his arms wrapped like that and then that big, thick girl sitting on his ass like that. All I gotta do is eat it dark. I can just tell from here, you're crazy.

Starting point is 00:58:06 If you don't think she enjoys a black hair. All I know is that feels good for the black. I think she doesn't feel a little bit good for the out of her. He must give up. No, he's not. It's miserable for the guy. I don't know. They killed the gator, Breeze.

Starting point is 00:58:19 It looks like she'd feel good. I heard it got euthanized, but I mean, it seems like he'll the gator. Yeah, I heard it was euthanized. I heard it, yeah seems like I killed the gator. Yeah, I heard it was euthanized. I heard it. Can't they move the gator? I heard she'd be able to get the gator to kill her. What?

Starting point is 00:58:30 I know what you're gonna say, you son of a bitch. What else we got? But she's, oh, this is I thought, okay, this is like just, the raw journey now's your time. Yeah, you sit on the gator. You're the gator, sit. Jake, guys, never let me work.

Starting point is 00:58:41 Gator, we let you work on this one. Yep. What do you do, I'm a gator, sit, you sit gator, no, I sit on Gator's. So this is more rumor mill stuff, but Sean Mendez, you know, he was with Camilla Cabello for a while. Now apparently he's with a new girlfriend. The reason why I thought this was interesting,

Starting point is 00:58:55 because the girlfriend is a chiropractor, doctor, whatever, to the stars, and she's my bad, 51 years old. Dang, that's like in his 20s. That's what chiropractor looks like. That's her. Who is her. That's her. That's her. Yeah, she's so hot She's in the middle right there, but 51. I can't imagine her being 51. Oh, Jesus. What a dime First of all hold on crack my back with there. She is with that Shawn men. Hold on. Well, who is Shawn Mendez? That's senior super star. I know. I'm sorry. I'm terrible. He's the judge for the time of Super stars. Fuck now. I know. I'm sorry. I'm terrible. Who's the judge for the time?

Starting point is 00:59:30 I love him. He's dating her. That's impressive. I mean, how could you not? I was so funny in the chase. I love you. I love you, man. Love you too. Yeah. I had it for this. Oh, she does beaver too. She did like a bunch of stars. Oh, she's like a celebrity Cairo. But Oh, yeah. Sorry. I had to do it.. Sure thing is a body, biomechanics body. So, Tiji Specialist, vocal, perform, okay, too much. I don't know what's going on there, man. Are you helping with your voice? Are you sure she's 51? Yes, and followed by Rick.

Starting point is 00:59:56 Requested. That makes sense. That's impressive as hell. Good for Sean Mendes. Hell yeah. He played an alligator full circle Diddy yeah that movie Wild oh

Starting point is 01:00:11 Okay, so this was it funny we talked about the sunshop show, but this is a radio Rahim I think he's been on Rogan's podcast as well He's like a boxing guy. He asked Logan what he said to Jake before the fight. It was I love you too, bro I love you. I'm not gonna give you a big speech. I know you got this But I've come back victorious to come back on your shield. I love you, bro. I love you too, man I like then Jake didn't miss a beat. I love you Logan in this. Yeah, professional That's really funny man. So I love you too, bro. It happens to us all, bro. So there's this woman.

Starting point is 01:00:49 Oh, she's like that girl with the black, yeah, Rachel Dola's all. Yeah. So in Arab slash Southeast Asian slash Latin. Why is her mom got to rattle out? Mom was like, she's wise. She's the way she said it to was kind of funny. Because she's an asshole. But apparently she's doing good work.

Starting point is 01:01:06 I don't know. Same with Rachel. Exactly. So it's like, it's a weird thing. I don't know. This is all these Americans who are like, you know, I have a whole joke about this shit. It's like, you just want to be part of something

Starting point is 01:01:17 and you want to be oppressed because you know your country's doing really well when you volunteer to be part of a group that's been oppressed. So her mom says, she's as white as the driven snow. I don't know. I don't know. They're like dumb mom poses.

Starting point is 01:01:30 They're really chubby. They're chubby. They're chubby. The mom's like this bitch. She's a shop at hot topic. That's her. Yeah. Oh.

Starting point is 01:01:40 And she went full. It's great. I caught in the mission. I caught a great show. There she goes. You can't be lying like this. What are you a fucking cookover? Ah! And she went full Indian. That's great. I caught in the middle. She went like, there she goes. You can't be lying like this. What are you a fucking cookabird?

Starting point is 01:01:49 Oh yeah, you are. She said she's gonna like talk about this eventually. Oh, I bet she is. Oh, there's your Netflix dog. You can't wait to hear it. I'm all about it. All right, so I just talked with accent. I saw this video.

Starting point is 01:02:01 I looked up, I looked for interviews this nine years ago. And this is, I'll just play a clip I'm not sure if I can put on the show, but mom's like your name's Rachel Accused of being in it for the money, so you can tell she's just completely playing this thing up Also clearly white Terrible. Oh my God, what's up, baby. Oh my God, what's up, baby. Oh, it's amazing.

Starting point is 01:02:24 Brandon's more Indian. Anyone who's Indian? Yeah, I look way more Indian. Yeah, so that's how. You're crazy if she even thinks she loves black carrots. There's a common thing. I don't know, I don't know. That's what I would say.

Starting point is 01:02:36 What else you got, Jen? You wanna do one more? Yeah, one more? Yeah. So Britney Spears posted another weird ass video. Michael B. Jordan, Natty or not? I know you don't care. Not. How could not how good he is okay. Why would he be? Okay, great news is okay. So last week guys, I made a dress. It's really proud of Donnie panel

Starting point is 01:02:55 slipping the back a girl can help me so it's sent me a dress. I didn't have to make myself I can't believe it. I'm just saying, hey, now I'm so proud. I didn't even have to make it myself. Why is she using that British accent? I don't know. I think she suffers from crazy psychosis. Yeah, and I think there's a reason she doesn't have her children.

Starting point is 01:03:17 That's such a bummer. Extremely man. Oh, that's so, oh, she, I just want you to know if I shut down my Instagram, do not call the cops I don't ever be a roller coaster And she rich that's a poor person's fan in the back So her fans are the ones that called cops to do us to you know what do you call it?

Starting point is 01:03:45 Some check something check it welfare well check Yeah, it's such a bond. She seems alright, but the fan bun No, it's such a bond like that's that's that's that's that's something going on in her brain And I my my guess is like you said is like you know She had this conservatorship, which was what it was, but you kinda go, they might have known things we didn't know. Is that fair, right? Like you see that in your-

Starting point is 01:04:11 The dad's like, okay, I'm done. You guys wanna make me have to be the villain? Okay, let her post, see what happens. You see what I'm saying? Do you know every Thursday, she's pretent she's a British and pretent she's on a rollercoaster? You also know she's a fucking millionaire, but uses that fan from CVS bitch.

Starting point is 01:04:27 I mean, whatever the case, there's stuff coming up. You know, she has a fridge stocked of black carrots. I don't like the way you're not being very client. Oh, I mean, what are you gonna do? She's clearly fucking crazy. Yeah, that's what I can do. I can do nothing you can do. Stop by being kind and just what it is.

Starting point is 01:04:40 No, it's not. It's just like fucking, yeah. But she wants out of the conservers and server to, she's out. Yeah, nothing we can do That's not that's manic that there that is so clearly what you worry about You know hurt hurt herself. So that was from TMZ I don't know if they clipped or that was clipped on her But it was deleted I think so that's why I don't know exactly there's no editing in the world you make her look not great No, that looked crazy. Yeah, man. It's man I don't know exactly. There's no editing in the world. You make her look not great. No, that looked crazy. Man, it's man.

Starting point is 01:05:05 It's not gonna be a roller coaster. So this is the last one. The same. So does she not get to see her kids or what? I don't know the details on all. She's like once a month, a Jackie Chews swim shit. Damn. So this is Derek from More Place More Dates.

Starting point is 01:05:17 And he posted this video. Someone did a deep fake of him, which I thought was interesting, and I'll just play it for you right now. It's DerekMoralP Moore plays more dates.com. Today we're going to be talking about my new testosterone increasing regimen. So yeah, every day I start off by roaming five milligrams of amphetamine on my junk. Usually this causes a bit of burning. It goes away pretty quickly. The paper show this gives a pretty

Starting point is 01:05:41 substantial increase in free testosterone. Usually after I'm fully awake I put on my, well they're basically like normal socks but for each individual toe that are pretty comfy and yes as far as I know based on the glutamine endocrine heat response this also leads to massive test gains. What else have I been doing? Oh yeah before I forget so lately what I've been doing is I wait until it's pretty late at night like 3 or 4 a.m. and once I see someone crossing the street in front of my house, I quickly open the door, Sprint to them, pick them up, and then try to see how far I can run with them to get some footing and escape.

Starting point is 01:06:15 It's the hunter gatherer neurologic massive salivary testosterone increases. This is awesome. You recall previously I was experimenting with things like picturing chasing down any small animal when I was working out, but after trying everything I think the other method moves the needle way more and that's why it's in my daily routine. It's hilarious. Obviously it's like not going as far as I put the voice. The voice sounds like it's fluid.

Starting point is 01:06:40 Wow. Wow. God. Well it's a matter of time before you know, you're on the web having sex with five guys with black carrots. I hope it's happening right now. And I don't give you good. If you have black carrots, bring in a braille this Friday, Friday two shows, one magical night, braille improv. This Friday, Cal Bats is fight campaigning for John Jones, big return with jelly roll, Will Compton and rampage Jackson is live on thick boy YouTube at 7 p.m. Saturday.

Starting point is 01:07:10 Oklahoma City bricks down, comic club March 9 through 11 to coma March 23 25 tickets at FATKZ.com or and I'm in saying is this weekend Thursday, Friday, Saturday. We are almost sold out. Get your tickets. Then I got Sony Hall, kids, New York, New York, Manhattan, March 11th, one show only, Sony Hall, get your tickets. Then we got levity live the weekend after that.

Starting point is 01:07:35 March 16 to the 18th. All right, kids, love ya. Black carrots for the wind. Yeah. You do anything to keep your vehicle happy. Let's make sure it stays running smoothly. With eBay guaranteed fit, you'll find the right parts to keep your vehicle happy. Let's make sure it stays running smoothly. With eBay guaranteed fit, you'll find the right parts to fit your vehicle. The first time, from air filters to headlights to batteries and bumpers.

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The Fighter & The Kid - Callen's Naughty Carrot Story | TFATK Ep. 873

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