The Fighter & The Kid - Chris D'Elia | TFATK Ep. 943

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Chris D'Elia is finally back with Bryan Callen and Brendan Schaub (and his new sword) on TFATK and the guys talk Chris' new special "Grow or Die", going "Off Limits" with Bryan, Sylvester Stallone stories, sex parties, butt sunning, Chris' new tattoos and much more! Get Chris' new special here - https://store.chrisdelia.com/products/chris-delia-grow-or-die House Of Macadamias - Get a free gallon of Macadamia Milk when you visit https://houseofmacadamias.com/tfak - just add milk to your cart with any products and use code TFAK DraftKings - Download the DraftKings app and use promo code: Fighter Goldco - Find out how you could get up to $10,000 in BONUS SILVER (while supplies last) at https://goldco.com/fighter or call 855-928-3489 now!

Let me do anything on it, but yeah, what? Oh, who it is? Hey We got big Chris is getting doodies on steroids. Ha ha ha ha ha. He's on steroids. I'm not actually, but You know, I wasn't really trouble right? He's so much your voices your voices super deep dude. I'm fucking jacked what? Shit guys, he's Why do you have a turn-up? You already feel like a platypus. I'm flexible. I think I realize what's going on.

He got a full chest piece, like a prospect. Oh, I know. And then he has a mountain range. It's a mountain range. So there's needle flying and a mountain range behind it. And then he's got glasses. He's got the wine at Disney. Hey, what are you giving him? Oh, my friend. Oh, my friend. Hey, tell him. And then he's got glasses The wine and Disney hey, we're giving

Oh my friend Tell him who I'm you should be about yeah, I would love to just give you a sock around you know what just so swirly if you beat me up I wouldn't even care bro make your speed normal now Flexible and I'm going to hang one you know how flexible I am dude and it's on dude. Yeah sit down I'm back on fighter in the kid This is really the fight on the kid Well last one I did 1997 We did dummy numbers 1997 guest of the year

Don't say dummy now. Well, wait, but we did we went stupi right we did dumb shit Yeah, we'll be people saw and they go That's what they did I don't think anybody did stupid. They did they went And these glasses that's hilarious you say that they're from Disneyland because they're not you You're not You dress like my son, okay, what is that? Listen Chris, you dress like my son, okay? What is that? I can't help. Okay, yeah, I got my own deal.

Oh, what are you doing with a scabbard? It's different now. Captain Hooker. No, look, you dropped your special. It's different now. I got a sword. Yeah, I know. I dropped my special and It's different now. I got a sword. Yeah, I know. I dropped my special and it's different now. Hey, hey. I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna make this,

I'm gonna make this statement. Had to buy something. Grow or die. Now listen, the more I said, the more I said, the more I said, hey, not for the boomers, right? Not for the boomer here.

What do you mean, the merch is liddy? I said for the boomer. I'm a merch. Grow or die at crystalia.com. What were you gonna say? I was gonna say, right now for the boomer here what do you mean that the merges lidi i saw for a merge grower diet crystalia dot com what were you gonna say i was gonna say that i believe in my heart if you had that scabbard and we had to fight i could take that scabbard away from you that's it no that you know what i would do it you don't even know what a faint is and you go like a stab them like that and then iaints what you do when you see distance. Faints what you do when you see a really nice cock, right?

Isn't that right dude. I wasn't I need this dude because shit's different Yeah, my thing came out. I'll talk about stupid numbers. Christalia dot com Dude, are you doing? You don't numbers. Oh shit, man Netflix. Who dude? Don't use this podcast. I know I know I should right but I got this in case of intruders because shit is different now But where did you get the sword did they send it to you cuz he hits a guy left it on my house on my Halloween party He was a pirate, but I will tell you this Where did you get the sword? Did they send it to you because he hits? I left it at my house at my Halloween party. He was a pirate, but I will tell you this. I got it when he did that.

I looked at it and I go, shit is gonna be different. And so I didn't give it back to him. Have you studied any kind of swordplay? No, no. If intruders come, cause dude, there's a lot of love out there for my special, but there's also,

oh, and I need, in case intruders come, am I sweetheart at home? She was like, thank you. To say your wife. I know, no, no, I know, but sweetheart. I know, I know, I know. My sweetie doll, at home, she goes.

Constantly. She didn't actually say it, but her energy was my hero. And I say, I got it in case of intruders. She says, should we set an alarm? After I got off of the floor for laughing 45 minutes, I said, we don't need no stinkin' alarm. And I took this out and she goes, and she basically said, my hero.

Okay, I have a request. Okay, I have a request. I'm coming from my groundbreaking podcast, Off Limits, from Speaking to... Oh, from a very... You've changed the name again? Yeah. It's called Off Limits, because the... She again. Yeah, yeah, it's called off limits

Cuz the shit I talk about it so off limits, bro Guys fucking up. There's no off air guys Guys be cool about my my newest effort about labes brand what is it? It's called Off limits cuz the shit idea with this off limits because it's off limits because the intellectuals so stupid no that's not off limits. No, no, it's like dangerously off limits, but listen. Oh yeah, dude. Yeah, cuz I'm changing the Compensation now. Oh, yeah You know what I heard though? I was in Casey's office right next to it and I heard they're up there. Everyone Brand goes you know Joe Rogan guy is yeah, Brian's man. I gotta get you in to him. And I hear they're wrapped in every and brand goes, you know Joe Rogan? He goes, yeah, Brian's.

Man, I gotta get you in with him. Hey, bro, don't toss that. I didn't say that. That was based on a conversation that happened beforehand about that. You're taking everything out of context. Let me get to my point. You're taking his fake news.

No, let me get to my point. Buck, look, I just came from having a very deep conversation. Once again, I'm about, got my ground breaks, just give us a summary. Generous, forion, stuff like that. I'm changing the conversation. I'm immersing myself in the best it's been thought and said, I come from a world of substance.

I'm begging you to make this podcast, at least a little substantive. Oh, God. Please, yeah, this one so I can give me some meat. I can give me some meaning. Hey, dude, that's you on. Hey, listen, man, you want substance, you go to crystalia.com.

You want fun and games, and you want, ah, you want, ah, you know what I mean? And that's, no. That's honestly, I've been thought about the backstory of the character. Yeah. I've been thought about where my character grew up, but already on this good, ah, matey.

You know what I'm talking about? I don't, I don't thought about where my character grew up, but already on this good, ah, matey. You know I'm talking about- I don't think a pirate, that's not what I consider to be like a harbinger of good stuff, right? I've educated him on how pirates are gay. That fucking that one on. So is this a pro-downs? And you know why? Because they were all in the same boat.

And if I was on the same boat with a bunch of dudes, you know how long it would take me to start fucking guys okay eight days I've thought about this but if we're longer than a week you know what three pirates we're three pirates we'll see yeah I don't know six months who's getting fucked first well we'll get into that you're well no I'm not what you are me hey I'm with him me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, You want to go you want hey you want to go overboard you won't come this way Can't be able to breathe You a shot collar in prison or on the high seat I'm talking about on the And I haven't even thought about me back story

Dude Do you understand what I'm saying? No, I don't understand we crystal clear go to sword dude No, he said that yeah,, dude they were they did outside everyone I know what I was going with this now. It's okay, man if we're on the high sea Hey, here's my joke. Hey guys, you're getting we's dick and scurvy That's what you're getting. Hey, you better eat some fruit and stuff suck and dick You're about to get some scurvy. Hey, I'm losing my teeth. I haven't got any vitamin C. My teeth are falling out.

That's all right, Brian. Yeah. It's better for us. Yeah, I got some. This is pirate humor right here. Yeah, dude. Let's write a fucking movie called Gay on the High Seas. Yeah, what, what, what, yeah, they did one with broke back now.

I want your arms. Cowboys. I want your arms. Oh, nice. They want for the You could do they should do one for gangs They're like a gay game banger. Hey dog. Hey, always well you let me ask you something I'm not I know I look tough. No, I've never had to run it with any I'm just trying to think of like a bike cat. I was casting a movie. Mm-hmm. You are not I can't cast you as the hero You just don't you're just cast you as the hero, you just don't, you're just,

the neck tattoo. Not anymore, dude. You just look, your whole face is, you are, you're unconventionally charismatic. So there's something going on. I do. Overall, you're not a hero I'm getting behind, right? So there's a dangerous situation.

The fuck, the zombies are coming. I'm gonna get behind him, cause he's got a mustache, but he was UFC guy, big guy, strong guy. I'm sure, yeah. But in no situation, there's no situation. Where there's a dangerous situation. Yeah.

Where we go, what the fuck? Sunaimi's coming, the pirates are coming. Zombies, let's get Chris. No. Where's Chris? Nobody's getting behind you, right? Before we die. But first of all, he's not stopping his tsunami

You know that's a bad example. So it's a bad thing. I'm saying an emergency. There's the nurse Put the volcano giving us saute gari to a volcano. Hey put a fucking Kimura on it Hey Hey, dude, oh dude, here hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey got to get out of here. And you're like, I need a nap. No, dude. I wet my self. Is that a real sword? Oh, shit. You brought that sword.

A guy left it at my fucking Halloween party. And he put it in my bedroom because my kids were at home and said, I forgot there were kids here. So let me put my real pirate sword in your bedroom. And he did. And then when he left, I didn't remind him about the pirate sword because I wanted it. So he stole it. He shouldn't bring a real sword to your home. No shit, dude, but he's my tattoo guy. He's crazy, dude. He's crazy. So he's all the tattoo guy. He did a lot of my pieces my pieces dude and he left this piece there and I'm fucking dude I'm so jack man you wanted it I said you let him forget I let him forget

he's you know how you know I didn't forget because when he left I waived at him and I said bye and I looked right in his eyes he he had a full pirate outfit on. And I just go, see ya dude, see ya later, in my head, thought bubble, sword, me, just, it's different now, thinking about bits, dude. I'm thinking I'm gonna kill this shit on Instagram. See ya dude, and he goes, I made his along. Fucking limp it with the peg leg, and I go,

that shit's mine now. And as he left left you were like this Yep, and you shot a video pretend to be Britney Spears. I didn't I didn't think about that actually, but it was a lot I Have you seen his big sloppy cock in that thing? Well, it's fun stuff, but go ahead and What's up first thing I know it's just this lazy? Why was it? It curls up it curls up like a viper dude., you have to, because you have to, you have to. Quick, let's take a little break.

We need a break from Chris Delia. Little break. We need a tad. But you know, when I want to take a break, like if I'm in the middle of meals, but I want to keep my satiety down. Do you reach for candy? A lot of people reach for candy, a lot of.

Fast food. A lot of people reach for fast food. What do you do to get that tight skin? I'm full of macadamia. I know you're holding out on me, dude. Omega seven fatty acids, some of the best fat profile you can get on nuts. No sugars, no, I'm talking about pure macadamia nuts.

That's your secret? Yeah, but dude, you gotta be a billionaire to afford those nuts. Let's you go to houseamacadamia.com. Macadamias. Macadamias, dude. House of macadamias. You know what's crazy? I love nuts. You know I love me to some nuts. Yeah. Butadamia's. Macadamia's. Macadamia's. Macadamia's. You know what's crazy?

I love nuts. You know I love me to something else. But I was drinking black coffee the other day. I went, dude, I wish I had some macadamia nut milk. So you can get macadamia nut money. Don't have the money. Go to a fancy supermarket. You got that?

Yeah, grocery store. And buy macadamia nut milk and go ahead and tell me how much that costs or milk your milk of yourself takes forever. Oh, that takes a long time milking. One little nut, not a lot of milk. Hard to do, but you can get a gallon of free gallon of macadamia and nut milk. A gallon? Macadamia milk. Pure macadamia milk when you visit houseamacadamians.com. So that's T F A K, okay? You just add the milk to your cart with any products and use Cote F A K. Get the best nuts. You can get pure macadamian nuts.

You can get them chocolate covered, white chocolate covered, raspberry covered. It's unbelievable. They're as good as it gets. And they are, according to a lot of scientists, considered probably the healthiest nut. They're so tasty. That's houseof macadamia.com slash TFAK and you get a free gallon of macadamia milk when you visit.

I can't wait for UFC 295. I just wish I could watch this Saturday. It's this Saturday, dude. This Saturday? Oh man, you got cheery. Do you got cheery in the face? You got cheery in the face? You got yery, don't say jerry, right?

You got yery, you got Alex Pira, and then you also got Tom Aspinal and Sergey Pavlovich. We got a fight. You got a heavyweight belt on the line, in turn, which should be for the regular belt. You got the light heavyweight. Who you got to be?

Okay, you want me to give you the odds? Yes. So Yeri, it was a slight favorite. He was like minus 115 when we last checked. Yeah. And then Tom Aspinal is like a minus one 35. So the odds are pretty even. Yeah, I got Aspenal and I got Pira.

Me too. You got it, you got it. We're the same, so there's no bets there. But you can parlay them and make bank with our friends at DraftKings, all right? And they're giving you guys one heck of a deal. This offers only a DraftKings sports book. Do customers strike now to get $200

instantly in bonus bets when you bet $5. Get in on the UFC 2.95 action with Draft King Sportsbook, the official SportsBetting Partner of the UFC, download the app right now, use the code FIDER. New customers get $200 instantly in bonus bets when you bet $5. That's code FIDER only a Draft King Sportsbook.

The crown is yours. Garing problem called one-hander gambler, visit www.1800gambler.net in New York, dollars. That's code fighter only at Draftking Sportsbook. The crown is yours. or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothhill Casino and Resort KS21 plus age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario, ONT. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. C-Sportsbook.com.draftgings.com slash MMA terms for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms and responsible gaming resources.

I sent, I sent my, oh yeah, there you go. All I saw was Dick first. Oh, yeah. So it's bunch of. And your body's soft around the middle. No, I'm not. Hey, John Wayne parts, your sword looks cold. Look at his face.

What, he's saying my sword looks cold. John Wayne parts, I bet. It's been less than 24 hours and you come home with a sword? She is different now. Look at how ridiculous you are with your eagle. Okay. Okay. And you look how fucking cool I am man.

And I put it out. Myself. So now you know who you flex and do she's married to that. I got a I got a sword. She's married to that. You have a kid. I guess I don't see the correlation. You put it out yourself. It's amazing. That's especially you've ever done. Thank you, honey. But you're not just saying that because I don't put that out of of do, right? No, I'm saying it both reasons here. Check out this part, don't do all that. One thing's cool, you get the right intruder comes in. Because my specialist is so dope that it triggers my comment.

And if they come in, I get slice them. And this way when I slice them, I'm just gonna do the same where it is going. They think I think I miss, I slice them, I think I miss it. After a beat. It's glorious You ever seen go ship. Oh, it happens in go ship dude That's you kind of yeah, they don't know and then you go Like drinking more different. They're all just like, and they go, oh no. You look like you're waiting a flag to stand.

That's not how you do it. And they all go like this. And they say, and it really is that I saved the day. Dude. Hey, to be honest, there'll be all jokes like, how long you know them? Way too long. Probably 15 years. Probably like 10.

Yeah. This is the best shape he's been in. Fuck yeah, dude. I'm like 10. Yeah. This is the best shape he's been in. Fuck yeah dude. Best comedy you've ever done. Thank you. That special was really good, pay for it. But I don't think he's a great shape. I sent it to him.

No, I got it for free. I got it. I sent it to him because he asked. I would send it to you, but you didn't ask. I illegally stream it. Oh, that's okay. You're, you're, people are buying it a lot. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That would say he's a great people. I said people, I wouldn't say he's in good shape. He's just put on, he's eating. That's what he's got to say. That's what he's got to say. That's what he's got to say. He did pistol squats.

He did a bunch of pistol squats. Yeah, I know. And then he'll show me, we'll be out of Whole Foods. Like, can you do this? I'm like, what? Yeah. I am a maniac. I go a hundred miles an hour,

and I'm into working out now. So I'm doing it a hundred miles an hour. You don't do any, like, any, no sport, no, no, of course not no sports. You never done a sport, but also, I did do it. But you never done anything with a ball. Can you throw a ball?

Have you ever done a ball? That's dumb, kid shit, man. Okay. But you, are you doing? Take that jacks. Let's play catch Mike Okay, no dude. They're here be like let me call uncle Brian. He comes over to Tesla and kids are like absolutely not You know, let's call uncle Brendan right if we want to bring in the big guys Don't be a dick. I call an uncle brought I can fucking oh Brian's driving here. How do you know because you can't hear him?

No, I can I can this is the sound of a Tesla. Yeah, you know because you can't hear him? You're in the fucking tussard. No, I can... This is the sound of a tussard. Yeah, but you know what you hear? That's me throwing a spiral. Right? I thought you was at your car. No, that's what that's me throwing a spiral. I do it. I'm not gonna throw a four.

Oh, I broke my fingers. Well, what's that? Oh, it couldn't catch it. It's me. Fast release. I don't know. Yeah. Like that. How come you can do that? That's a real old man shit, huh?

Could anyone do that under the age of 50? No, it's a boomer with the boomer whistle. I can do a little shit. Tie knots do that. My mom can do that. She used to do that shit. Or can you do this one where the will you put the? Oh old school I can really whistle. That's great. Do you do that? You're not you know young That's really great Brian that you can do that. I'm really proud of you know It's how my father ever ever Kind of was like a little envious of me where we were trying to catch a cow and he's like this and I go Like that cab stops and he goes Jesus. How do you have always more to go do that? Yeah, yeah And I was like that, cab stops and he goes, Jesus, how do you, how do you, how do you do that?

I'm gonna do the message, yeah. And I was like, well, too bad. The reason why I didn't come on this podcast before us, because I hated that pinstripe thing. What? Oh, you know what, we get that a lot. What do you mean? Oh, really?

We get that a lot. We get what a lot. What do you, what do you, what do you, everyone's like, dude, we've been waiting for you to change the background. And dude, for us, we change the background. Things are different. Yeah, exactly.

You want the sword? Dude, this looks dope. It looks dope. Yeah. So shoot. You, how are things going on, Yura? How's the pod, dude? It's going good, man.

I'm out there. I'm just, you know, got my heart in it. Man. I'm just out there leaving it to myself. know, I'm hard in it. Man, just out there, like leaving it to myself. No, he's a decent seer. He's a decent seer. No, everything's good man, I get out there and I just give him my all dude, I sit down.

No, hold on, one pot of star. I write it by, I write it in and I think, give the kids something substantive, like say something, say something that we can learn from. Okay, everybody. What are you thinking about? I've been thinking a lot about what's going on in the world.

Okay, so that's just what you take on the world. Oh God, it's in the dire state, but I will tell you this, man, I think it's crazy that in 2020, all that stuff went down politically, and then now we're gonna be right back there. And it's funny, because if you look at videos from even a long time ago,

we're still talking about the same issues. And no matter who you are, what race, color or creed, you can identify with what they're talking about because why? Because we're all part of the human race, right? Oh, jeez, it's just like that. I know, you gotta have me though. You're being super jealous. Right, so whether you are in the Middle East or just, you know, in the Valley, in the Middle East or just in the Valley.

In the Middle East or just the regular East, you can all identify with the fact that no racism. But as it is, you're not gonna be in any kind of a fight. I'm gonna come here because there's no blacks. I almost didn't come here. I throw in and I go like this, I say, I say, chin isn't enough. We need not just... Sanaz is dude at the melting pot. Well, I say I say chin isn't enough. We need not just

Sanchez dude is a melting pot We're right say so she agrees with me then whether you're in the Middle East or the forest She said she said she's ready to use that's beautiful. And so she really likes my sword. Have you ever seen Prince of Persia? But dude, oh god Think about the staff here. Do we have Asian we got you know, Asian don't Persian We got we got the young demo we got got the you know the white trash right and then we got we got We got max kids Asian Persian in bread you guys have to fucking Boomer yeah you right now listen Pasty white. Let's let's let's let me ask you a couple questions. So we know what we're dealing with okay

What what are the two countries Gaza borders? I'm not falling into that trap, my friend. What do you mean nice try? We are not talking about that in depth here because I'm literally asking you a simple question. I can't go below or above because we will just get shredded. Oh man. you want the real stuff, you go to chrisley.com. But you have been pushed to the right a little bit, right? It's hard to stay in the middle. Yeah, there you go. It's hard to stay in the middle. When they keep moving the goalposts,

there you go. There you go. Yeah, it's hard. It's like, you know, it's like you used to be able to say certain words and they change the words on you. You'll say the word word and you'll be like you can't say that anymore and you go Why and they say just not accept it anymore and you just go so make your angry Oh Wings

two two wings Two right wings I keep flying in a circle. Yeah, they use the three gold on commercials They did dude. Yeah, yeah, it's a weird time. So I'm just saying we're all getting older Mm-hmm. I'm really old, but you guys are in your 40s soon to be mid-form. How early are you now 40? Oh? You're not 40. Yeah, I'm a young one. You're still young. It's 40 young, for his not young. For his not young.

40's not young. Just alone, I watched that special. I mean, his documentary very good. And he goes, you know, after 40, 40 is your gaining. And after 40, it's kind of lost. You know, you're losing your physical prime, you're losing, you're losing, you know, friends get married and move on. It's all kinds of stuff. Yeah, we have about four friends left. Yeah, but that's kind of what happened.

Three of them are in here. And then he was even saying, I thought that was a documentary because he was saying, try to stay relevant and realizing that he did so many movies. He goes, oh, he has seen these things, 25 movies. And he goes, if I knew I only had 25 movies to make in a lifetime, you think I would have done all these and he was pointing to all the movies that did do well. And he said, he created Rambo, he created Rocky II, and he's a genius. If you hear how he knows how much he's a genius,

he's a fucking genius. So when he wasn't doing much action movies, I love it. But he did action movies where he wasn't saying much and he said he goes He goes a lot of people think they can do everything you can't you can do a couple things Right and that's it, but then he goes and here I am in this house And he goes all my kids have moved on yeah, and now I'm kind of in a big empty box Is it but is he still with his wife? Yeah, cuz that one I assume that one's a better ending than the Arnold one

Arnold one makes it so much better because the one you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, dunk. Yeah, still loans family. They have a very good, great family. They have very time. I know his daughters are great. The daughters are amazing. I guess he had no other kids to deal. I didn't, yeah, I didn't know, they did. I didn't know that he had lost his son. I didn't know that. Still owned it?

Yeah. His son died of heart attack. It wasn't drugs. He died of a heart attack in his hands. Just ran, how old? He was like 28 or something. Well, that's horrible we know you you and i have

my kids yeah when somebody loses a child you're like oh my god sage uh... and he never talks about it i i i i don't even know that's how we can't uh... there's still and now those were the those were the tango and cash days which is my favorite not love the trucker he's always doing some good though that's's why he's like spendables. What do you call it the Tulsa King?

Are you? Oh, I see it. Oh, yeah, he's so good. He's so fun. Yeah, he's great. He's great. He's great Taylor shared in wrote that he crushed on Tulsa King. What else is he in? He does Expendables. Oh, yeah, he talked about expandable So he's, that's the other franchise he comes up with. So he's sitting there really? Yeah, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's watching. Oh, he's a genius. When you see, I like you, he is. And, and he made the,

well, you know, he made me, were you there when he took us on a tour of his, uh, what was I there, dude? He invited me and you came. Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, dude. And then he did a post in spilled Brian's day, we're all right. Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, dude.

And then he did a post in Spill Brian's Day of Rock. Yeah, by Calla Hand. Dude, I'll tell you this much, man. He did Harry Potter, he did Star Wars, and he did. No, he did. He did blindside, too. No, he did, he did blindside. No, but he did, so he's watching the, he went to some revival of like, they had like

Led Zeppelin Rolling Stones, whatever, all these old rockers. And he's looking at them and they're all doing their music and he goes, boy, these guys are all done. Just like, we're the same age, you know. We're the stars, yeah. And he's like, wow, and he's like, but they're still rocking, and people are still loving it. Right?

They're playing the, like nostalgia. And he goes, why can't we do this for action figures? Why can't we hear us? Why can't we take all the action heroes from the 80s and 90s and make a move? And that's where he did explain it. Yeah, dude. Is Chuck Norris an ex-beddables? Probably.

That's the first one. See what the first one. He's probably in it. The first one is like the eight team. And that was, is that the one that Rampage was in too? The ex-beddables? And it's like Randy Cedore, him. Mickey Rork, Terry Cruz, Ralph Dolph,

Jeff Lee, Randy Cedore. Come on. Jet Lee looks like a lady, huh? Stone Cold Steve Austin. What's that all about? Bro, do you ever get a Croberts? That looks like my aunt. Come on, dude.

Mickey Roarke looks like my aunt. Yeah, what Mickey Roarke's that's it. Eric Roberts, he's great. And that's it that I know on that list. No, no, no, no, Prosserra's Barbosis in it. A little Noggy Trail. A little Noggy Trail. A little Noggy Trail. A little Noggy Trail. A little Noggy Trail. A little Noggy Trail. A little Noggy Trail. a little naughty trail, little Molleaks in it.

Little who? Or is that big or little, I don't know. That's little, it looks like. Oh, my God. And they're on their fourth franchise, they just did their fourth one. Yeah. I don't watch them.

If it's just a action, no story, I'm out. No, that's what I'm into. I know, you still do the story. It all sucks, I just wanna fight and shoot and do it. Oh, Jesus, what's your favorite movie? My favorite movie, are you saying all the time? Give me your top five favorite movie. Oh, top five favorite movie?

Yeah. The first four robocops. And then five would be Englishman who went up and he helped a kid down a mountain. It's awful, sorry. Dude, I... There's like three robocops. Yeah, well, not if the guy's the one with Joel Kineman. But I... Oh, no, those are There's like three robo cops, right? Well, no, not if the cops won't show a kid in the min.

But I- Oh, no, those are the cops on the count. Don't wanna talk about your tattoos. So, I had, man. Shoot. Yeah, so you might have more tattoos than me now. Yeah, they know- Before you start-

You'll start in their teens, you start in your 40s. Wouldn't it be a good idea to start when you already, when you end up knowing yourself and who you are. He's right about this. I have a lot of tattoos when I was like 16, 17 or the pro. You're 17 sham on your fucking ankle or some shit. Well, that one's cool. But the other ones, I regret. Football Kings, things like that. Well, no, I'm a freshman of the year. That one's cool. But they're all kind of trophies on my body.

But I didn't have money at the time, so you went to a guy and he's like 100 bucks. I'm like, I have 80. He's like, we'll like, 100 bucks, I'm like, I have 80. And he's like, we'll do it, and then it's a nightmare. I remember you, if I left you along for a little while, you'd come back with a tattoo. Oh yeah. Well, let's go through these tats. What would you do?

But he has fancy tats. What would you get? What would you get if you were going to get a tattoo? Elephant ear here, elephant ear here. No, I wouldn't get that. And people be like, why is it elephant up such a small trunk? Don't, don't, don't. Don't joke. I have a, I wouldn't get it. I mean, people be like, why is it elephant episode such a small trouble? No, no, they might do that.

Don't joke. I have a, you could do a play on Tulsa King get Tesla King. And then put, and then across your back, but fuck me. Oh, wow. I can do that. I'm very subtle too. I think it's like this little little little thing.

I was in a movie trailer. I won't say his name, but he was a, he had been a SEAL team six captain of SEAL team to Six Squadron and was, had been through a lot of shit. He had been through a lot of shit. He was like in SEALs for like 10 years as a SEAL team. Yeah, he's seen some, yeah. And he took his shirt off.

He took his shirt off. He just took his shirt off and his back looked like a mausoleum. It looked like it was all religious. Those are dope though dope though all really like I can see the special force guys they have like a a number and there's like a bullet next to a school yeah I don't want that yeah this guy I ask him I'm gonna say his name because he's a great guy Justin Sheffield remember when you said it wasn't gonna say I'm not gonna say his name no I think I don't want to give this guy okay it's okay you said it he just got assassinated yeah but it's okay. It's okay. You said it. He just got assassinated. Yeah, no, but it's straight up. You know what? Justice Jeff and Josh said it was like this.

Well, because of your dumb ass, dude. I know. Well, that's how I spill the beans. But he, uh, he literally, that guy right there, that, that, who had been through a Spartan, a Spartan, I've been through it. What? He has a, uh, that's the ear. That's very rare for him. I don't think that's him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's him. Uh, Kristen wouldn't cheat on me with that guy. So, it's okay. Yeah. Just, but he took a short of an ear, his don't think that's him. Yeah, yeah, that's him right now. Kristen wouldn't cheat on me with that guy, so it's okay. Yeah, but he took a sharpening his face. It's that religious iconography. Damn, he's changed.

Wow. That's what an angel do to you? Wow. He leaned out. I saw him right when he was out of the service. And he just was a star. No special forces, guys, Tats are different. Bro, different.

It's like when he's the cartel guy. Yeah. In a way, you're like when he's the cartel guy, different. In a way you're like, oh, you earn that religious, you've come so close to life and death that you've earned that whole, it looked like a, like the medieval ceiling that somebody had eaten and I was like, damn. So unless I- It's as a cabin. Yeah, let's get through, let's go through your tattoos now.

Okay. So, nothing worse. I got no fear about that. Okay. Man. Okay. So, nothing worse. I got no fear about that. Okay. Man. Man. I don't need you to sit. Okay.

Relax on him. Don't do that. Let me see. What's the first tattoo? Let's go with your right arm. Now what's on your wrist? You got a dinosaur skull. You got a... What's that? What's that lotus flower? Yeah, and this is a wake right there

And then I got an elevator your awake now your you've you've you're awake. It's not done I'm gonna put up above it. I'm gonna put I hate being You got more protein and you know so time and more so I'm gonna do my podcast. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm getting all these times. Did you guys get more and more protein and you know? So time and more shots. But when I do my podcast, I hold my heart and I, I go out there and I sit down in my studio, I think, and I go through all this stuff. I'm very, very, very, very,

and I'm appreciate you watching, congratulations, and also, golden hour, I think you got, and also lifeline, so thank you That sounds good okay, so this is a triceratops for my I talk about my special christlia.com, all right? Yeah There's a story about that Because your son loves dinosaurs. Yeah, and then this is actually a cool one. This is my grandfather sold newspapers on this. Doudful made up on this frequent.

Made up. My dad, when he was used to help guys. No, we're having, sorry. It's not immigrant. What's that? Yes. Yeah, from where? Body.

Just say, body. I'm cultural, dude. I don't say body. Wait, so that's the cross streets of where he... Well, not in Italy, but yeah, in Times Square, he used to do it, yeah. Bari. Oh, so he sold newspapers in Times Square

and you got the cross streets? Yeah, because I love my grandpa. Oh, and he had what the cross streets? He had a stand there? Yeah, a stand, and I was demolished. But not his memory. What are the cross streets? the cross-states? Uh, 33rd and 7th.

33rd and what? 7th, right there. You know, that's not Times Square. No, it's not Times Square. You say Times Square. Okay, well, I fucked up. Yeah, so yeah. Okay, 33rd and 7th.

Because that's just some corner. Okay, it's not some corner, it's near Union Station. Okay. Hey Chris, look at us. Hey, it's Penn State. My boy knows New York, right? Yeah, hey bro, your heart believes in you. You talking about Penn right? Yeah, bro, your heart believes you talk my pen station. Yeah, what I say union station. All right, well whatever, bro That's in fuck. Oh, no, you're okay. It's fine. You may have the whole story. It is what it is

I fell asleep and this is what happened You're you're panicking. Do you think you lied about that too? Like I lied about using just for men? Oh God This is a street corner. I used to get butt fucked in Pennsylvania I lied about using just for men. Oh God, this is a street corner. I used to get butt fucked in Pennsylvania. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Italian right you do don't you know I bet I'll do it made a little tini. I say it's me Mario adon je la banjo so you got that so now let's keep going all right that looks like a Boot war or something what is that what the Ending machine that's a vending it's a fucking dumb waiter dude. It's an elevator. Why'd you get an elevator on your fucking What you weren't bro. No, I had a fucking show it to be though It's an elevator. Why did you get an elevator on your fucking forearm? I like the wedding. What?

You weren't, bro. You know why you had a fucking show in Toledo? Was the staircase taken? No, I got that too. Oh! You got a stair, you got a way, an elevator in a staircase. Does that signify you could take the elevator and get there faster or you could walk which is better for you? I can't wait to get an escalator, dude. Why'd you get a staircase? Why'd you get a mac store and shit in a mall? What does that signify?

I don't want to talk about it. You know what I mean? I can't believe you entertained it. I don't understand it. If you have, it's super personal. You got a tattoo, what would you get? I've thought about this. I bet.

You were supposed to get a tattoo when we hit 10 million downloads. That was a long time ago. But you're supposed to make some money. You have a thing. You're supposed to get a tattoo. You're supposed to get a tattoo. You're supposed to get a tattoo when we hit 10 million downloads. That was a long time ago.

But you were supposed to do it. You were supposed to pay some money. You ever think of it in 2G? Yeah, it sucks. Fuck, man. I even have it on Silent, but it breaks through sometimes. Just let you know. When the algorithm gets too chat-backed up,

I was supposed to get a tattoo. Breaking the sound barrier. And whenever I go, whenever I deposit money into my... Do you know what's fucking crazy man I was walking around and my pants were falling down and I was like what the fuck why do my pants keep falling down They were they were actually falling down and I go what's going on? It's annoying. I protect my belt This and I I Fall down shit. I'm like all right. I gotta do my pockets wasn't my phone

I took my phone out they stopped falling down and I'm like well that doesn't make much sense right because my phone's always been the same way Dude I realize my Wells Fargo app was getting heavy. Oh my God. Isn't that stupid? So stupid. It's time. You're so stupid. I go in and make it a positive.

My Wells Fargo. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. I think I'll come out, because I'm in Wells Fargo. No, no. He will receive my dick, because I go in and make it a positive and makes sense. No, no. He will receive my dick because I go to make it a pilot, it makes it, it's a good, a good, a good effect. Man, that's the butterfly.

Do you have a mountain peak on your throat? It's a butterfly. There you go. That was the newest one. Well, if I got a tattoo, it would say. You were supposed to get one bit. I was. Like, eight years ago, five years ago.

I've gotten a tattoo. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gotten a tattoo. I've gotten a tattoo. I was like eight years ago. Five years ago. Where were you, 10 million, 10 million views? Eight years ago, you crossed 10 million downloads and you didn't get it. And now you're at 10 and a half million downloads. And I can't believe you still. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I'm kidding. I would get, I don't know, man. I would get, I feel like you got to get something like, I don't know, something that really matters. Like you can't get far in the cage. You can't probably get, you get, but I think everything to put in there. How about this, you know what you do? Honestly,. Like you can't get far in the cage. You can't probably get brate. I owe everything to brate.

You know what you do, honestly, on your rib cage or right near it, you just go. Delia made it twice. Twice. Yeah. Oh, made it twice. Well, what about a Phoenix? Like you're coming out of the ass.

Hey, look at this. You're lucky if you make it once. Delia made it worse. Delimated twos. No, I'm not getting that. You should get a fetus. Because I'm about a substantive person and I'm looking to talk substantively right now. Because my groundbreaking podcast off limits.

Oh, God. All right, we really get to the issues. I wish talking about it was off limits, dude. Yeah. Your podcast is called off limit. He's tried it for 10 years. No, it was the Brian Calon general. No, this was this. No, I know it was this.

It's not general. It's the same thing, all right? It sounds fucking like what the, what is this? Oh no, dude. He's off limits. He's tired of being in the limits. I wanna go, what the fuck is this? You know, it's a great limit.

After you see them. And yeah, break the limit. The other good thing is that everyone can find it, right? Cause not behind a paywall or? Well, to half of it, you can find everywhere. And then you'll have to go to the month hub. God, I got it. So half of it's legit off limits.

Yes, I have it. Get off limits. There's a limit to get to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's that. Yeah, I just don't know what I would get as a fucking tattoo. I want a tattoo.

Do you? No. I'm the skin for a tattoo. I just don't know if I'm... I think it's tough to get a tattoo on skin because yours is loose, but... No. No.

He's like, why is it funny? Moooooo. Moooooo. Moooooo. It's like tattooing everybody's elbow. No, everybody's laughing. Muah! Muah! Muah! It's like that to everybody's elbow. Just kidding, everybody. Guys, guys, I have the title.

That's just your ball sack. No, I have the title. That's your throne. That's his neck. Muah! I think I would get like a fucking bestola. Oh, he'd be fucked in? That's a fucked in.

You got that idea from Chef Chanco, dude. Cuck. Is that what he has to say? You know, two bucks like this. Oh, he has a piece of Chefchenko's a few know why I honestly Should have said double pistolas double pistolas Double my shit this my chair this okay Stores, okay, that's what I would get and then I would get I would get

you on your I get no Life thing of you on your stomach. I don't think so dude naked and just peeling your piece No, I don't think so. I'm asking Jesus Christ if that would happen What are you doing You're taking back your kids. Let's take a magic my break. Okay. Let's take a magic one You had this? Give me a one D. What?

I could use it. I'm a magic mind in all honesty. Tell me how I feel after it. Bro, stop saying, try magic mind bro. I love magic mind. I take it all the time. You know I do. He takes a lot of time.

All the time, dude. Oh double pistolas. Oh, that's on somebody's ass crack though. Ah, fuck. I don't want that. I want it on my double shoe here. On my crazy hot old league. Go to Chef Chancos.

This is what Brian wants. Chef Chancos, Ted. I want it on my old lease. Hold on. I got heavy old bleeks though. It's hard. Jesus. Do you?

Yeah, I do. I really do. From, like, from a lot of torque sports that I do. There's Chef Chancos. That's amazing. That's not her. She has it. If you go to UFC, that's that I do. There's Chef Chanko's. I'm not sure. Ah, that's not her. She has it, if you go to UFC, I know, that's what I said.

Bubba, I keep thinking if I go and Chanko, Chef Chanko's, ah, she's hot. See, see her guy, no? What a badass she is. What a badass. You ever seen me? I thought the tattoo was more down their side, but it's not back too.

Yeah, I don't like it anymore. It might be another tattoo. No, no, that's definitely it. Definitely not. She don't have two. That is your vibe, huh? It's my vibe, I think she's hot. I like your vibe.

I've got two guns on the side, that's pretty cool. I don't just want a hundred percent date her, one hundred percent. She's, I know you have to fight John Jones. Oh, is that really? What? Uh-oh. Huh? Oh, Huh?

Oh, we're leaking the romance, who knew? Hey dude, you're in a quit taxing? Okay, yeah, Jesus said you would never do it. I knew it. Do you, are you religious? Yeah, but a different kind of religion. Yeah. What do you, I go to these places where you have to wear that mask with the beak nose and you go in.

Oh, that's not. I don't think that's really religious. What do you guys do there, though? A lot of people are just kind of like, oh, I'm moving on, yeah, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm You're in a true it's your money and then a lot of people are bent over but it's it's it's a cool Me a lot of people do that so that's a satanic I'm the on the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I no idea but do you see presidents there oh god not old people yeah Biden white white

no that's not it that's a what would you call it what are they called are they called the skulls don't they do that I can't talk about it yeah you're not allowed to go on the drones the druids that's what it is the skull and crowbone the skull and bone plebeian no I'm not malach I don't know what all shit folks really good yeah I know it sucks it's on silent it's not

silent does that mean one person about your special? No. That would be so annoying if I put that on. Or sad. No, because it would be difficult. So you're making some money. I don't talk about it. Ask me. Are you making money on your special? It's doing fine. Yeah sure. Moving on. Yeah. That's how you'd handle that in a major interview. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I'd rather be talking about important things like Gaza or something.

You guys, yeah, my specials doing it. Okay. Let's talk about. I don't know if even if you made a billion dollars on your special, I don't believe you would do anything other than go from your home to that. Yeah. You may never leave your house you would just stay in your house and then you would occasionally go to get coffee Dude, you mean turning to Howard's third. Yeah, I don't think he would I he'd his hair would be constantly mad in the back because it would be Right yeah, he'd be an eccentric billionaire his nails white do drugs? And then you just look at Kristen and his wife and just be like, ah, she's rich, but he's just a man. I don't know, dude, I just fucking, you know, whatever, it's like I'm all good, man, everything's fine. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's interesting. Yeah, but you don't go, so you do never go in the sun. I'm trying to live a long time. But the sun's good. I go out and I get a minute of sun every morning. You know, you used to tan as asshole. Yeah, well, no, I've done it before you. Yeah.

You ever done it? No. Oh, it feels good to do it. The benefits are supposed to be pretty good. Yeah. It feels really good. That trend went, that trend was like there and you were kind of on the vibe and then everything.

It just, it's just one of the things that got into the kind of lexicon for a bit there. There, you're supposed to sun your balls. No, it's not your asshole your ass or your ass Your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or ass or your ass or your ass or ass or ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your ass or your This is not in the, if we stay there and get super fucking lit and then in the morning we'll wake up and a lot of people are naked and we show our butt holes to each other. Is that what you're talking about? No. I am. Neem numb lift, neon on the eyes, nello-yajan on yala lala lala.

I love that religious movie, Eyes Wide Shut. I don't. It's not, I don't know if it's about my church. I remember seeing that. I'm not done. Oops. You know him. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, it's a piano, dude.

The hymn in the eyes wide shut, the movie about my church. Yeah. Now you can go. I was saying when I saw that movie, and I saw that those women in those masks, I thought to myself, well, what would I have to do to get to a point where I get invited to those parties? And I think everybody was like, well, there's fun and then there's fucking fun.

Is that Scientology? I don't think so. I don't know what it is. If you're Tom Cruise. Yeah, there are. You tell me you wouldn't do Scientology if they're like, hey, listen. Well, we're gonna. Yeah, there are. You tell me you wanna do Scientology if they're like, hey, listen. Well, we're gonna make you the next Joker.

You just gotta jump on our train. I'm like, what is it? What do you have to do? There are parties. Just represent. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no were the hottest people on the planet are curated and everybody goes to a house and has sex. That's a feature. Should we feel sad we've never been invited? I don't think so because I don't want to go to my house when I wish 32.

It's fun and I'm sad. I understand I'm saying that they're invited. These are, these are, these are, these are, these are, you guys were fucking cuck's back. No, I was older. Don't fucking, yeah, I know. invite us. These are, these are, these are, these are, these are, you guys were fucking cuck's back. No, I was older, don't fucking, yeah, I know, I know. I, I, there are parties where it's like that, the, Mr. Off Limits here. They're off of, off the limits. They're off the, what's the, what's the,

what's the intro, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the,

what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what your promo for your image for off-limits should be this. Like you can't. Bring up the image of my off-limits. This is gonna blow your mind. This is not. Is it on your Instagram? We just type in off-limits with that. Of course it's not. Just type in off-limits.

Is it not gonna promote it? It'll pop up immediately. This is, this is how I live it. Watch how powerful this is. And tell me who you are reminds you. Oh, just type in off-limits. The show and see what's up. My name isn't Brian.

I know. I know I know You thought it was briot this whole time it is oh Do you get the camera closer? No, not that and don't get the camera closer You get the get the one. Let me just go to images to see if the pops yes you know off limits There it is there it is nice picture. Hey. Hey. Hey, come on. Hey, come on I didn't expect it to be that good I didn't expect it to be that good. I didn't expect it to be handsome like that. It's good.

I like, no, no, no, dude, don't take it away from you, man. This photo, it's great. Okay, thanks, but also, are we at your funeral? True. No, that's a picture Okay, thanks. But also, are we at your funeral? True. No, that's a picture. That's a picture you would post at a funeral. That Steve Jobs, right there. That's the new stuff.

Oh, no, you don't have a trophy, Daddy. Dude, you had a funeral. That's what we'd have. Dude, dude, dude, you had, it's floating. Yeah. You're magical, dude. Don't take this. No, dude, don't be modest.

This picture is. Thank you. Don't take this. No, dude. Don't be modest. Thank this picture is thank you If I'm looking at it. Yeah, it's Symmetry it's fine. I you know, I appreciate it. And I don't know no no no no don't get badful Thank you. It's a fantastic portrait. Thank you. It's good. I just took it you know, I just know I'm not gonna let you do that dude I just literally just said the guy goes can I take a picture? I was like I was like yeah, I was like what you do I go what and he goes you can't say I went you worked on it for hours obviously I did it

I I literally did it like crazy. I had literally just famous photographer I had had my workout on then I and you shower then you got ready. Yeah I had my workout I trained martial arts and then I had some Seerdok and I think I had so many people to get your hair like that. No, I had half a jam and went through the process. I really did it. I don't know how many hours of makeup. I don't even think I do a shower. The best part about it is, too, it must many hours of makeup come on. I don't even think I do. You know what? The best part about it is too. Yeah.

It must have taken a week or two to run it through graphics. Because I've never quite seen a Photoshop. Juh, I mean, just with the thing at the bottom. Because I wanted it to put the mug there, right? Well, it looks like there's a light behind it. It does off limits. It's not just static letters, isn't it? At? Well, it looks like there's a light behind it. It does off limits. It's not just static letters, isn't it? And first glance, it might be.

But then you look at it and you see there's a kind of a soft effect, almost opaque in the back. Yeah, you see how it's like radiating? So it's like almost like the burning bush. So where do you get knowledge from? Yeah, I know. That's what people do. That's what people do.

At first you see it and you're like, oh, it's okay. But then you notice the back and you're just like, Yeah, I know. That's what people do. That's what people do. At first you see it and you're like, oh, that's okay. But then you notice the back and you're just like, well, you can keep watching. See what you're trying to do? You're trying to get perspective. You don't see it.

Yeah, because it changes from the different angles. That was a built-in. That was a built-in. That part was built-in. That part was built-in. When you see it, you're just like regular font. I could get that online. Yeah, yeah.

But then when you take kind of a... Oh my God! You're like, from there, yeah. From there, from there. From there, it's near. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny.

That's so funny. That's so funny. That's so funny. That's so funny. I Thank you, thank you. Yeah, thank you so much and you know that I admit that that part was that part was put in there That part was put in there. Okay, all right and but the picture itself Was literally just hit me straight on here. Here I am and Take what this is what I got yeah, boom right all package sometimes sometimes magic happens first take to I assume yeah Wow, wow, wow, sometimes the first take is the greatest so you know that from that song So and that's what I was thinking the whole time that I did that so so you you've got so cuz I wanted it is magical and then see Why is he all gray in that picture?

And the one you're talking about the other one because this one yeah amazing That's my bullet. I see what you're saying. Not claim that, it looks like a funeral shot. I can't believe this shot. So that one there? That one there? That one there?

That one there? Yeah. That one there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate it. Nobody's back. No, that one there makes me sad. Because as I look at that, I go, we don't have a lot of time.

No, we can, no, this is not true. It's not true. No, look at I go. What the fuck am I getting there? No, it's the fluorescent lighting that I was in this. I go, okay. No, be could know. No, it's not true. No, look at I go. What the fuck am I doing? No, it's the fluorescent lighting that was in the office. It's the fluorescent lighting. Okay. No, you got a bathtub.

It's the fluorescent lighting. Hey. Hey Chris, are you me? You're on deck. All right. Hey, you're in the bathroom. I get it. So, I got it.

So you have to, so you, so how new is off limits? Fuckin' new. Spank it, brand spankin' it. October 10th. Take another break, B. I'min', brand spankin' news. October 10th. It's taking another break, B. I'm being Chicago, December 8th and 9th and you will be in North Carolina, dude. Well, in the last week and come get some

this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Tickles are goin' fast, and then I got Calgary. Calgary, I'll be in Calgary, Alberta, in Yacht Yacht's, November 16th, 17th and 18th. Great club. In a long time since I've been there can't wait. Then I got helium, December 7th, 8th and 9th. In club. In a long time since I've been there can't wait. Then I got helium, December 7, 8 and 9. In India.

In India, in theapolis. Now listen. Right, Count.com. Now listen, dude. The world is crazy right now with everything going on, inflation, war, the economy right now could be the best time ever to diversify your money and savings with precious metals like Goldersilver.

Did you know that? Well, Gold is a constant, so is silver, right? And it's, you can speculate with your Gold is a constant, so is Silver, right? And you can speculate with your money and a lot of people lose their money. So you want at least part of your financial portfolio. Dude, I bought some precious metals myself from Gold Code, dude. I bought it myself and they made it so freaking easy. Gold Code has helped thousands of people place over 2.5 billion in Gold and Silver.

They're rated A plus by the better business bureau, all right? They've earned over 5,000 five star reviews, and that's just mentioned a few of their accomplishments. There's so many more we can do the review. And by the way, right now the fighter and kid listeners, they're offering up to $10,000 in bonus silver while supplies last. Go to goldcode.com slash fighter to learn more, alright?

And so, diverse fire portfolio. It's a big idea. That's goldcode.com slash fighter. Oh, you just started. That's great. Well, great. Taking the podcast world by storm. That's what the world is.

I always say, do you know what I say? There's not enough podcast. There's not enough podcast. And there's not enough good podcasts. Not enough good podcasts. Yeah, you need, eat information, because people know me for information, not comedy.

Because I go Brian Callan, Jordan Peterson, you kidding me? Brian Callan. Well, when you listen to Brian Callan, you'll get a lot of what Jordan Peterson said, second hand, and that's, and you know what, but I like that, but I like you regurgitate his stuff, which makes it, which I'm gonna do that anyways.

Yeah, so I'm gonna as well list somebody do that. Well, well, you got, I got all fuck again. I go like this, I click it on it, I click it off, that well Fuck again, dude I go like this I Click it on a thing I click it off that's what happens. I know Do a die the podcast do it. I mean your special no No, or die you were die do a die. What am I fucking bone thugs in harmony? So good good stuff, but thank you. I will say this. I had dinner with Peter Teal,

who was the guy who created PayPal and stuff. And you know what I realized after that dinner? I didn't create PayPal. He came on afterwards. But do you want to know why I got depressed after I had dinner with Peter Teal? Is I realized that everything I say is pretty much what I've read or heard and

That guy comes up with original and that guy right there that his face right there was his face during your dinner listening to you Oh Yeah, you just go oh, yes kind of yeah, that's actually kind of truth Yeah, I spoke to but whose information is it I spoke to him, but whose information is it? I spoke to him. Who's information is not regurgitated by smarter minds? Some people are just good at coming up with thoughts, ideas and concepts you've never heard of, and then there are people. Thank you.

No, no, and then there are people. Hey, you left your sword just lying around. That's why it's dangerous. Don't trip him full. Don't trip him full. Dude. If there's a, what character? She is so, no!

What character in movie history would you have wanted to play? Uh, why? Greg Kinnear is good as it gets. Fucking really. Greg Kinnear in the one where he's attached to Matt Damon. Oh, stuck on you? You love great Ginnier and I'm happy with you. He is awesome. So out of all the actors.

We're great, Ginnier, on... I think he's in the gift and also talk soup. He was good on that. Fucking weirdo. No, he's great on stuck on the game. I like him. I like him. No, he is good. Yeah, what was the question?

What's the movie? What what what character would you have liked to have played and do you think you could have done better? Hmm probably Tom Cruise and I's watch it Ding Bing are you kidding me dude my acting will be so good Okay, so the dick those massive you those mass. So we've done this before. We've done this before. You're there. Let's do a scene from Eyes Wide Shut where you

realize that I as your wife enjoyed that sex. Enjoyed it and might want to go back. A full transparency. You've never seen the movie. Never. Oh, bro. It's so good. Baba, you gotta see how old is it? You should see it. That's how old. No, it's like. Yeah, it's so good. Baba, you gotta see how old is it? You should see it. That's how old. No, it's like 20.

Yeah, it's yeah, almost you're right. It's wild. It's about a secret sex club. Not really. It's weird, man. It's it might have It might have missed. It's so good.

Yeah, it's pretty well. Well, Stanley Kubrick, who's by Oh, he's got the greatest Well Stanley Kubrick who's by my he's got counts the greatest filmmaker fucking shining for Can't really play it right because you're getting Demonicized. Yeah, you you knew do you do? Hmm, you know, I know you know where I was gonna do it. We were doing funny if the thing thing thing you know Right, Chen what he got all right

Okay, what are you gonna what I. What are you going to do? I was just going to have you play Tom Cruise where you realize I'm going to say I enjoyed it and I want to go back and then I want to see your reaction. This is after the sexy? Yeah, and I want to see her and I want you to say the only line you have is this. Oh, that's all you can say. Okay. Alright, ready?

And? Okay. I have a confession. I enjoyed last night and if I'm 100% honest, I kind of want to go back. Come on, man. Music will come back on. Oh. See, you keep Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

That's really good. That's really good. It's really good. It's really good. It's a long time. It's a long time. Johnny won't take, dude. Yeah, it took a long time to get to the wall.

Do you have to do auditions anymore? Do you ever get... Oh, what project is she going to be in? She's a shitty question. I'm just trying to... Hey, let's get to your mustache. I was just trying to... Hey, let's get to your mustache. I was just trying to, hey, let's get to your mustache.

Hawkeye dude. Oh yeah, I'm the next Hawkeye. Hawkeye dude. Well, you did get run over by a snowplow machine. Oh, it's open. Let me run or do it. That dude's fucking awesome. I love their mouth.

Awesome. They're just awesome. You're growing a mustache. What are you gonna do with that mustache? Getting very thick. You're gonna, much prediction. You want this big twirl. Yes.

You want that, yeah. Good job. I think it would look good on you. Is that for more Vembers? Is that for more Vembers? Is that for more Vembers? Sure, sure. Well, I think you'd look good with the strong man mustache from,

good, bring up. I don't know if I can grow it all. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I would just, it's tough. You gotta wait, but what what how do you do it? I think you keep going and it gets so long you know. There you go. There you go.

That's me. That's you. 100% that should be you. 100%. Anybody who has that mustache at day and age is a complete utter asshole. There's nothing, you know, the viewer can't complete utter and if you're in it, Taylor won my lab. No, just, yeah. But some guys, sometimes we're gonna be where are you though?

Where are you? Well, but it could be just a style. We're yet lows. We'll oh, oh, hi, I see you at lows and just have that. But you know what? You won't talk shit to that guy. It goes. No, I won't, but I won't respect him either.

It because he pieces shit. No, it goes with a certain look. Now Taylor, well, that's just a manly must. Yeah, that's Taylor. Yeah, Taylor's got a certain look. Now Taylor, that's just a great boss. Yeah, that's Taylor. Yeah, Taylor's got a great boss. He looks great with the mustache. Yeah, his is legit. Is that what you want?

Because you're not grown up. I can't grow that. Why not? I don't think I could either though. I don't have that. You might, you could have a mustache. 100% but I look like I should be. You were just, but I look like I'm cutting sandwiches

in a deli. It's not romantic. Got it. I've worn a mustache before. It's like, it's not romantic. I've worn a mustache before It's like it's awful. You know what the you know, it's just a fun man. You can do it. Yeah. Oh, hey dude Thanks guys. No dude. I mean it you know his first team especially the picture like that that we were looking at oh Thank you the first I see it and I'd be like I don't know but then when I Thank you, man. You know his first team all mustaches the dumb who's saying bad guy great

Muscle you bring up his mustache because you have those bill easterners. It's just so thick Yeah, I think he's just fermenting okay. I'm great for them. Oh, so you got a bit gray in your mustache It was all gray. Oh really? Yeah, all great like you know is all great. That's my diet. That's a that's a Stalin mustache Basically Stalin's the one he know what I could do whatever whatever happened to him Chris he got he got hung he's still yeah, but he got hung and he talked to even when he's being hung on Yeah, what did he yeah, what do you say? You're all cheap they were for no they were putting they were putting a thing on him So you're not men and you're not men. They were like you die. They were cursing me

They said when I drive the Tesla's a cook. He said, you're not a man. He drives a Tesla's a cook. It's crazy. You talk about 90? Yeah, before Tesla's a cook. You knew about Tesla. Yeah, dude. He said, you're not a man.

Yeah, you're not a man. It was actually 2003, 2004. Was it bad? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's why we went to Iraq. Yeah, I remember. Because I was in 2003.

When you got up, Tim, when did you sit on the same guy? I was in 2003 or 2004. It definitely was 2000s because I was in my, I remember it I was in 2003 We bring that up in when it's oh three I say that three or oh it definitely was 2000 because I was in my I remember was in my apartment Oh Holy shit He's captured. I just graduated college. I was even aware. Yeah, I was a young buck dude I think it's okay. The story stories not about you. It's about to know who's saying dude I remember like it's just bring up stalling you want to see a mustache the worst human being maybe ever And and some of us had a library on stalling his hero was stolen but then he fucked him over right now that's a fucking mustache and

hair That's a happening. He is a and mustache and hair. What, that's happening. He is a man. Chris, he died of a heart attack at his desk after killing probably 40 million people. Please be respectful. Oh, okay. Now that guy's mustache on the end over there.

That top right. Is that stolen when he was young? Does that scrouch you? It's stolen, yeah, that guy. Wow. It's I can't do that. That's just not in the cards for me. That's okay.

That's okay. That's, that's, that, but think about the poor woman who had to kiss that fucking guy poor women. Yeah, just like this God look at the mustache is on the cruel The cruelty You hang ornaments on it though. Yeah, he was a horrible man I You can hang ornaments on it though. Yeah, he was a horrible man. I, it's crazy. These pictures are so like, it would have been really cool if they had like high death.

Like, you ever see those like grainy videos when video first started, when they were recording stuff, and then they colorize it? You sound like that World War II. Have you seen all the footage from World War II? They put in color. I think it's called World War Two in color. You can see Jerusalem in 18, like,

yeah, it's like crazy to see that. I saw footage from 1100. That's a colorized, and it was wild. Steve Harvey was there running from like a fucking big footage. Try stop, try stop, terrorists. Whoa! That's my ass. Try stop, terrorists. Wow, it's a cherry tomato. Big you try stop try stop terraris Whoa

Try stop terraris try it wow it's a great serratops. Oh, so you pay Joe to my book Well, I stop and you don't have CT. I don't know he was making joke. I forget names all the time But not try serratops. You knew that you were making a joke. Yeah, I know he wasn't his brain I'm an amateur paleontologist. I know all everything about really? I know everything about you can ask me anything about dinosaurs. I can tell you everything Okay, well how much what how many bones on the outside? How many protruding bones does it? I know what I'm gonna say staggers are so I know you staggers. Yes, staggers are so staggers 36 bones. I don't know if that's true. You have to look it up

Well, no. You're, uh, but you're, you stopped the mustache here and I need you to grow it here. You're going. I don't know why you've been a stop. You think you're the handle, you can wave, you can give it. You give it. You're a feel wave. I think I have an ocean like ocean.

No, no, no, no, no, I'm just talking about everything's fine. You're with people you love and all of a sudden Away the sadness hits you know what Brian felt it on Sunday no hope And you ever feel that yes and Brian call and Brian breaches out to me. That's called depression And everything's fine. You got a beautiful life. You wouldn't ask for anything And all of a sudden, dread. Did you like it? Hey, Dre.

Hey, Dre. Where the fuck did you show up? Yep. Hey, hey. Yep. Hey, Dre. I'm with my kids right now. Take a back seat. Oh, you won't? Yeah.

I'll wait it out. Yep. Now, does that up near a lot? Now, sure does. A few wait it out. Now. Does that up near a lot? Now. Sure does. A few times a day. Yeah. Trends.

Trends. Trends, an interesting thing. Yes. No. Yes. Everyday. As my. Yeah.

Tears of a cloud. Everyday Christopher? Yeah, of course. Piss it out.. So dread is interesting. Tell my judge dread. A lot of people get the case of the judge dreads. I am the law. You get a case of the judge dreads but the question is how do you get out of it? So one idea is clouds are there, sun's always there but but the clouds there, wait till they pass. Two is practice what?

Don't jump it off the cliff. Give all the content from off limits on this path. You're right, and a lot of this is off unless you pay for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of this is off. Don't give it away for free. Just give it a taste.

Give it a taste. What do you do when you get a case of the old dance? That is what I can, that's why he's working out some. It hit me yesterday. And you're high-knowing depressed? You're jacked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny.

Yeah, no, I did. I actually was, I felt it yesterday. I was driving and I was like, okay, I don't want to go to the gym because I feel sad. I'm going to go to the gym and it's going to help. And I did and it did. You're a special, this is what they're best. The best thing you've ever done it did. Your pot, you're special. That's what they're special.

The best thing you've ever done by far. Oh, thank you. And I don't think you could have ever written that without going through. No way. Everything. No way. You had to grow up.

Yeah, no way. Yeah. I often was like thinking about, how do I, because like, dude, I know that the, I always wanted to have a good time and be silly. That was by design, dude. I just, I didn't like seriousness. I talk about my special. I don't want to feel. I just wanted to have a good time and be silly. That was by design, dude. I just, I didn't like seriousness. I talk about my special.

I don't want to feel, I just wanted to be funny. And it was a defense mechanism and it was also relief from what I didn't want to be thinking about. And then all this shit happened. And then I was like, okay, I needed to change my comedy at some point. This is the catalyst to that. Of course you do.

And so, yeah. So you would have to do it no matter what. You would have to, not you would have. Yeah, you can't be. I can't be a 60 year old comedian talking about like, you know, I was talking about it. You know, but, um, but now it's different and because I, yeah, I, I let it, I let it change me. Let's say I give you the grower dye. You could either grow. Oh, that's a hundred percent true. Yeah. But do you think that you started out as somebody on the spectrum in terms of, not in a weird way, I just mean like,

you always resonated at a different tempo. Yes, spectrums to, the spectrums to, the original, but you definitely, you definitely, from the get go, I think, were different than say your brother, your dad, your mom. You're all, part of that comes from being a comic on the outside of the man. But even amongst comics, this is different. Yeah, routine.

Actually very disciplined. Yeah. Super dissilient. And then also silly 24%. You're only interested in that. Well, I can't keep up. I can't keep up. It's tough, it's tough though.

Like, we're all just shut down. It's tough though, like, because like, you know, you gotta balance it out, you know, like, I do a lot of therapy and shit and it's just like, it's so hard, man, like, I don't wanna do it. Like, that's why, you know, you're talking about these people, like, especially in LA, they're like, don't you just love going to therapy and you're like, what do you talk about?

Yeah, right. I leave crying. Yeah, it shouldn't be a good time like dude, but people are like I love therapy I don't care. It's like dude. They get they got a cushy life then yeah, yeah shit. Yeah, it's not fun But you have to go through that to get to where you but then be how do you think it changed you go through all this bullshit? You've got more you cannot be honest with me at at first when you first came back Like the light was and I come out, I co-signed it, and you know, I ride with you,

the light was out. And I literally, I called you, I'm like, what are we gonna do, dude? Like, you don't wanna be silly with me anymore. Like, what are we gonna do? And even, it did my light going through it, because we all went through it. So, it didn't even my light.

You're light, when you first came back, I was like, oh, we're done. Well, you want it, because you're done. Because you don't drink. It'd be like being a singer and your voice is shot. That's how it felt. I was like, what are we going to do? That's how it felt. Because you want to die.

Yes. Because you want to die. Yes, you know what I'm saying? I've wanted to die. Yeah. And, you know, I'm not, I'm such a positive person. Yeah. I know.

You're not, you know, and nobody wants to hear that. I get it. But you do. You want to die. Yeah. And, and it's hard. It's, it's hard to tell the line, yeah. But I think that the value... He watched a lot of my comedy, right? I watched your comedy and a loop.

What I wanted to do was I realized that this was... You go through a lot of loss, right? You lose things that won't come back. And everything, everything, everything. You lose everything. You're here, body baths. Yeah, everything. For real, you lose everything.

Yeah, flexibility. And what I wanted to do though was I was like, okay, I'm in chaos. I'm in the middle of the ocean without a fucking paddle. I don't know how to get back. I didn't know what to do. And I had one person battling with you. 100%. But you're still alone in this.

That's it. You're still alone in this. You're still alone. You're still in this boat. And you have to find a way, because I have children. So there are people in my life who are way more important than I was. I didn't really care about myself. Like, put me in a fucking van.

I'll live, you know, I don't, I don't, anywhere. You'll dress the same way. I don't give a fuck, yeah. I don't need a lot. It's not me I'm worried about. I'm tough. Yeah. I'm tough. But I, I said to myself, I said I'm gonna try to suffer well. What I'm gonna try to do is see how well I can suffer.

And I don't want anyone in my family or anybody to know how bad it is. And so I just fucking said, I'm gonna never miss a workout. I'm gonna write comedy every single day, and I'm gonna keep assuming- It was tough to write comedy, then it was swissering you in that state of mind.

It's almost impossible. It's almost impossible for me to. Almost impossible to find the silliness when you're dealing with that. So much of my comedy came- With those type of waves. So much of my comedy came from joy and being part of a community and loving people.

Well, I love you, I love you. I was always naive, Rogan always said, you want to be liked by everybody, and you think everybody's great. And there was an innocent. I did too. There was an innocent thought. My mother was gone. It was all gone. Now you're circular.

But no, because the battle is to not allow it to make you better, the battle is to not allow it to take your light away, your comedy away, your optimism away. And that's why you need perspective and you need to realize everybody. The battle is to not allow it to take your light away your comedy away your your optimism away and That's why you need perspective and you need to realize everybody Everyone who is going for something goes through chaos Everyone in life goes through that come maybe not but some people go through different different Everyone go experiences shit differently. You know, so yeah, and to me I was like what I realized that I'm

I'm fucking like I realized I'm way tougher to me, I was like, what I realized is that I'm fucking, like I realized I'm way tougher than I thought I was. Yeah, I agree. And, and you know, my father, my father, who I was looked up to, his tough said, he said, hey, come here, I want to talk to you. I said, what's going on? I was like, I hate that shit.

I hate that. He come talk to me. I was like, oh, I don't like this. Maybe he's dying. I don't know what the fuck he's going to tell me. So I got this feeling of dread and we were walking and he said, you know what, your sister and I were talking about how well,

how you protected all of us from what you were going through, how you seemed like you were totally fine. Like when you come to dinner and you just suffered through this where we knew you were going through, you lost everything, but you know, kept riding, kept doing this thing. And he said, and my sister said, I think she's not bumming us out.

No, my sister said, did, did, did, did, has anybody told him that? My father said, I don't think so. So my father said, I couldn't have done that. I couldn't have gone, I couldn't have done what you did. So, at least I was able to show myself and the people I care about. I think the biggest thing just for me on the outside,

looking at what you guys went through, especially was like, oh oh life isn't fair It's not fair and it you just got a roll with it. It's not gonna be fair Yeah, who are you who are you when whatever happens to anybody like People go through crazy shit people go through way worse. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, well who are you? Who are you at the end on the other side of that because you can lose everything and it doesn't come back It's okay. It's okay, it's all okay. And you're gonna make mistakes.

The biggest thing is you make mistakes because you're so afraid and you're desperate. I knew you weren't gonna give up. I knew neither when you were gonna give up. And with you, like we drunk around, I can't fight and you know all that stuff, but I knew you're a fighter. Yeah, yeah. You're not the fighter and the fighter.

You're not just the kid after all. Hey, you're not just the kid after all. Don't anybody tell you that, man. My skin stayed tight, though, and that's what's so amazing. So I just want to say to a lot of people, see, that's the thing that I can't. But there are people who just get, no, there are a lot of people. You're neck got kids, right?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Your neck went, I give up. No, no, no, there are a lot of people asking, Brian, how do you stay so tight? How do you look? A lot of people ask someone who's 40 and 43, and a lot of it is just nutrition and I'm selling my lifestyle for, for, oh no.

Well, but it's, oh Brian, for $999, that's for what you get, but you get, a lotion package called off limits. You get, you get, you get two months of intense. What? Stuff. Weekly, you're making it up now, you're picking it now. Weekly, what?

Guides to, like, guides guys guys guys and what are the Guides have about it. Give you one hint one of the vegetables. That's everyone knows that deep on your squats. Yeah, that's you Know what I want to call with Brian. Yep. What's here? Cold cold plunger once a year you can call Brian Saunas and Most importantly, still I don't say it. I'm gonna come right, please. I Lord and Savior. Oh, no dude. What, dude? Jesus Christ.

You gotta come to my church, dude. I have a mask for you. I don't know, dude. I don't know, dude. But the nose is cut out. Yeah, but man, no it's got the nose, but the... Why does this have no back side? Why am I wearing chaps?

But yours have balls under the nose. Ha ha ha ha ha. Me if it lives, give it to your constantly just. Why am I wearing chaps? But yours have balls under the nose. Ha ha ha ha ha. Me if it was you, but so you're constantly just. Why does it take sucking? Why does this, why does this, why does this mask a glory hole? Why am I wearing sucking? So you constantly got balls in your mouth, dude,

cause you're sucking nuts, dude. That's you, man, Mr. Nutzucker, right? I'm right, no. Nope. I wouldn't be nuts. I wouldn't be sucking. As God is my witness, you're a nut sucker. Oh, gosh. What was the last thing he said?

He said he loved you. That doesn't sound like my husband. Did he say you're a nut sucker? You and I both know. He Did he say you're a nut sucker? You and I both know, he said he's said you're a nut sucker. You and I delivered it and after I'm done with it, it was a great guy, not a lot of substance, but very funny. And never said anything I learned,

I didn't learn anything from him, but he was a good guy and in Christen's crying. And you just, from the grave, you just see this. There, we're gonna get this together together we're gonna get through this together and Calvin reached out and I go daddy's here no oh what about Billy my other son he's holding him I'm not as attached to Billy oh dude no you do that and I go like this I pop out the thing rar and you're a kid with me

rar and then you go oh and you look at me and you slide down the sword and I go oh and you go And you're sliding oh Oh, and you cough up a little bit of blood it goes on me and go And it's in my eyes and shit and you're down here and you're right there and I just go and you're right there and I just go. You're right. God. What are you talking about? It's Jack and you, bro.

But I don't have a heart on. Or you will. You're not dying. You're not dying. And they're covering children's... Oh, oh, oh. Am I shitter? So disgusting.

Here lies both of them I want to be buried with you god damn it. I don't want that at all This our whole family just to post fingers everyone like you want to post fingers on that leave there It's unholy. All right, what's it? But that dude? They put the beak mask on should we burn together the priest the priest with the finger just Okay jogging me and I'll call swap the Jesus all right Yeah, and then he says out yeah, he loves nail oil and neon neon

Alright. Yeah, and then he goes out. Neble loves Nele on the onion, he should have close to the... Look, Purell, yeah. And it is what it is. That's Rogan. Yeah, I didn't even touch anything Rogan. He would do it.

He would do it. He would play the funeral. Who would be at my funeral? The question with Chris, would you sell merch at Brought's funeral? Oh, bro. Kill it. Oh, he really? Life rips even in death. Dude, death rips. Would you get one of my children?

That's a shirt. I'll tell you what. Death rips. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. Yeah. You're probably, you probably died before me. I'm going before anyone here. Yeah. I am selling merch at your funeral. You have my full accepted- But off limits, it's still going! Archive this shit and learn!

Is that what you're gonna say? Off the net! I'm gonna have my square thing, where you can take the credit cards. Yup. Just people I'm gonna hire, I'll pay 200 bucks for the- Just in full, how about my brother do it?

Because I need the gate, cause I'll get- Get your shirts here! Just fucking, and what was you gonna want? I'll get the death reps one with Brian's silhouette. That's a great picture. Yeah, he took it, you know, it took him one time to pick your signature right there if you want to tip and then that's great. So thank you. Through tears. Thank you so much. I want both of them. Can I get it? I want both of them. Oh, I want both of them. Can I get it? I want both of them. Oops!

I want both of them. Can I get it a deal? Sorry, we're not giving out deals now, but here you go. If you want a tip, you can do this. Can I get a shirt and you ran out? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's good too, but I wanted to do my bid, and then you ruined both of them by doing the thing when you jumped on mine and wanted to do yours.

That's a good bit because my son is... I understand, he's close I understand is close to you and you ran out of your size, bud. We don't have extra small. Yeah, son does this. I will avenge him. For to see that is origin story. That's your son's origin story. I will avenge him. The long skinny pill one.

Yeah. The crow, the man crow. Yeah. The son of origin story. I'm gonna love engine. The long skinny pill one. Yeah. The crow, the man crow. Yeah. Disadded my father. So you think that I'll, he goes and trains. Yeah, montage. So you think that he'll say,

hey, do you have it? And I say, sorry, bud, no discounts and I'll go like this. Do you think he goes like this? Like that? Like that? You think that you're gonna go like this? I mean, it's a little on the nose. It's a because I don't know because that's what it's a funeral

That's what a villain does. So my son's gonna hear me a back-end though. So so what's the difference in a villain and hero in a movie? Everybody so you go like nope. See good good guess you say you say to my son. This is what you say you go like this You go so the kid cuz can I can I get their shirt from my own son and you go oh I don't have a shirt but I'll tell you what I do have something to remember me by and you just you just give him this right oh switchblade yeah yeah yeah yeah got him here right right like that yeah have And he stays for some reason, but yeah. Look me up sometime. And he's just like this.

Yeah. And then, hey kid, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. And hey kid, hard candy. Right? It is my guy. Is it your body? My son. So now my son has a choice to be a villain or a hero.

Oh. Here's the choice he makes. Okay. Because my son's a hero. A villain says he hurt me. The world hurt me. So now I'm gonna throw up to hurt the world. Yes. But my son who's a hero says,

I'm going to go learn how to become a warrior. And I'm gonna make sure that the world never hurts anyone the way it hurt me. That's Batman. Whoa. He's a hero, does. He goes at us and he sees the blood. That's legal shadows. Yeah, and that's that's what. That's Batman, dude. Yep. And then he sees you and he walks by you because you're complicit you fucking asshole. Oh, I'm in on it too.

And he goes like this. He goes your next. His little hand just hits the side of your face. A small skinny hand. And goes like that and he walks away. Yep. And you're just like that. But it's not like it.

But it's not like a manly sap. It's like a whatever it is. You guys go. There's sugar in that slap, right? Maybe, but it doesn't matter because she's on 24. Because he goes, because you guys go. Okay. But there's something about the way that it walks away. There it is.

He's got that calendarination, you're like, and you hear the kid, you hear my son do this, you just hear him go. Nope. Okay, you hear him, but you hear him. He doesn't part. He goes, no. No, he doesn't do that, no, he doesn't pee. Okay't pay okay, he goes he goes

Hey, how long is origin story no cuz this off origin story is this okay, what did you do? Self he goes that shit was off limit to. That's stupid dude. No, I like it man. I'm not bad at that. I'm not bad. Complete 360. Hey, stop checking your phone. It's time, right?

What do you have to do though? I got to do another Zoom interview. Okay. What do we do? Are we doing current events or no? Okay. Guys, if you want to see, you want a a current event this weekend in Raleigh, North Carolina Thursday Friday Saturday. I'm a good night and then I'm in Calgary

I'm in Calgary yuck yuck the following weekend can't stop warm there It's got four days with you on Thursday. I love that. I got four days gonna be there. Oh good nights yuck yuck But are we gonna do current events because I would take it a comedy? How long do we been going through? We've got to do, you guys want to do one? Let's do one for sure, cause our boy, Jelly Roll. It's a huge day for him today. Oh, he lost weight.

Oh my God. What do you do? No. So the biggest award ceremony in the world for country music is today, the CMAs and Jelly Rolls nominated for five awards, which is the second to the top. So there's only one person above in Laney Wilson. And he's performing, right?

Yeah, he's performing. There's gonna be a bunch more. One person more who's nominated for more? Six. Yeah, six. So, every other country artist, Jelly's like second. Wow. He's amazing.

He's the best guy I've ever been on. Yeah. He's our boy. Yeah. That's my brother from the very thick... You're the one who, again, Jelly's been my boy forever. People don't give Brennan credit for how many people he fell in love with.

He's up to a million people, yeah, of course. My thing about it. Yeah, yeah, you really have. Remember Mark Norland? We were talking about individuals. All those guys. Shane Gillis, they're all stupid talented. They're all amazing, yeah.

And no, but you saw the talent. Yeah, I'm not saying what I mean. I don't do it because I see Ty. I saw it because he's such a good guy. Yeah, Joey's the best, yeah. The best. Awesome. Joey's the best. Yeah, the best That he's crushed. He's so famous now. He's on American idols. Yeah, good morning America. Yeah His tattoos on his face. He's up. Oh, that one looking at and he's crushing it

He's fucking talented though, man. That's amazing. Oh, he's so talented. Yeah, the just the best Such a general thing. Uh, he just got it. Got it. Jellie Rose opened for me, uh, December, I think eight the night in Chicago. Really? It might be a lot.

By opening, I mean, he's gonna open my Instagram story that shows the show. Okay, that's cool. All right, then. I am, uh, in downtown Chicago, December eight and ninth. And then January coming in hot to keep on trucking tour, starts in Nashville on the 25th one night only then Austin, Texas, January 26th 27th. Where are you gonna be in Austin? Fort Myers not the mother so Fort Myers and Orlando. I'm here this weekend richman, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland

Just drag it. Trenton, New Jersey, Phil Adelzega, Redding, Pennsylvania, and then Oxnard, California, I'm doing some dates, and I'm also setting, I have a bunch of dates for next year coming up. Get ready, guys, and go stream my pocket, my special grower die, and uh. It's a great special. Oxford, California, well, the three of us jump up there.

Go for it, come. 100%. That'd be fun, 100. You want to want you want to follow me Brian do your do your 10 minutes Do your 10 minutes on my show hey? You want me to come you want you want me to open up though? You want me to open up also? Hey, you came and you did my show at the Lafayette. It was you were You're doing you're killing you were killing yeah, you're doing really well. Been doing that since 1995. No, that's not true. You were doing some different shit.

You were killing. You were doing good. You always killed, but you were. Okay, man. You're forced to be reckoned with, man. Thank you. I appreciate that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no magical I get it now, you know, okay? Appreciate that. That's really nice. I did you post that picture? I don't know it should be your thumbnail

Yeah, I think it is and say from 1942 All right you guys thank you very much. Okay, love you guys. And get us to ChrisLia.com. Get my special. You special. Grow or die. ChrisLia.com. It's on the comments. It's in the description.

It's in the description. Love you guys. Some time in the early 80s, Aureo Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced middle of the night landing. This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks. And he's telling me about how he discovered a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina, not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet. What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs, coming in from South America.

So those are Lee Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots, quiet, out of the way places to bring in his cocaine. My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter. Kylan, I talk all the time about the strange things we come across, but nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnam Town, North Carolina. There's crooked cops, brother against brother. Everyone's got a story to tell but does the truth even exist?

Welcome to Varnam Town. Varnam Town is available wherever you listen to podcasts.