The Fighter & The Kid - Elliot Page Boxing Broke Brendan Schaub’s & Bryan Callen's Brain | TFATK Ep. 1201 w/Ryan Long

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

Comedian Ryan Long joins Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen on The Fighter and The Kid for a wild conversation covering everything from the World Cup and military drafts to billionaire transformations, Hollywood culture, and Elliot Page boxing.The guys break down:Elliot Page’s boxing transformationWhy Mark Zuckerberg suddenly looks “cool”Elon Musk having 14 kidsMilitary discipline and masculinityWorld Cup athletes and modern sports cultureChristian Bale’s famous on-set meltdownHollywood directing pressureBillionaire glow-upsFitness, wrestling, and agingThis episode is packed with hilarious debates, culture commentary, comedy stories, and classic TFATK chaos.Vanman - Ready to make the switch? Go to https://vanman.shop/fighter and use code fighter for 15% off our first order. That's https://vanman.shop/fighter and use code fighter for 15% off your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is really the fighter and the kid. Ryan Long here is our guest. One of our phase, man, all the way from New York City. Well, Toronto, by way of Toronto. By way. Dude, you're filming this week too. Yeah. In the Reebok pumps, dude.

I've seen those in forever. Oh, I forget. LA sneakerhead sort of. Yeah, dude. I've seen those in forever. Oh, dude, I want those are so bad. I've never gotten more compliments from black guys than having these shoes. I normally don't wear running shoes.

I'm more like, you know, kind of vans and stuff like that. Those fit your vibe, though, when I saw him like, oh, he looks cool. Dude, as soon as I put them on, I was like, I think this is me now. I'll go walking through the comedy seller, it's like, I'll never do a night without someone stopping me and being like, yo, you're the man. Yeah, yeah, those are doing.

Over your shoes? Right away, I'm like, oh, man, he looks cool. Right away. As a kid, those were a big deal. Rebok pumps. I remember those ads. I'll tell you how much compliments I was getting. I had the same pair, and they were getting dirty, and I bought him again.

Hell yeah, dude. This is number two. Did you have to go online for those? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wasn't you crazy? Like, a couple hundred bucks. Like, it wasn't like some vintage purchase.

Yeah, I kind of want them now. Do you mind if I copy your style after this? They have tennis ones too. Really? You know the old? They have like, I think they remade three different ones or something like that. And they have like, yeah, they have these ones. They have the couple different colors than they had the, like, tennis one.

I originally found them in Newfoundland. I was like doing a date there. Just walked by a window that had them. and I just like stop. And they like just got them there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Newfoundland is one of those places. You don't really like think about it. I think of wailing. You know what I mean? Like it's just one of those towns. Yeah, it's kind of like an Ireland vibe. Yeah. Like I was watching the World Cup and was it Newfoundland is on there?

I can't get in. No, no. They're not in the World Cup, but I can't get it. Who's the big, the big white? I mean, they were, there's, the Netherlands. The Netherlands. The Netherlands. They had two guys.

They're two forwards or whatever the hell they're called. One was six, six, one six, five. They're so big. They're so fucking big. And I'm like, oh, if they grew up in America, they'd be, they'd be able to football. The Dutch are the tallest people in the world, right? They're so big. The Dutch are, they're tallest people in Europe at least.

Yeah. Go the biggest team. I think the average high of that team is six four. The biggest team? Yeah, in the, do tallest team in the world cup? To be honest, I didn't even realize soccer players were tall now. Oh, dude. I didn't think that's over six feet.

No, usually they're not. Usually they're not that big. Oh, look at that. It's Norway. There you go, Norway. Six one. He was trying to tell me about World Cup on the way over. He just couldn't make me watch that gun to my mom's head.

Gun to my mom's head. It's been nice knowing you, but I can. I only watch soccer once every four years. I get into the World Cup. Me too. Like last night, Mexico played, my wife's Mexican, my mother-in-law lives with us.

She made fucking tinga, fucking all sorts of Mexican. dishes and they were fucking well dude England right now but I can't you know I'm watching I'm like how much crappy sport I'm like how much long is it is this and when is anyone going to score

why do they keep falling down and find out what the scores right now between England and Congo England is playing Congo African all these African countries are crushing like I feel like everyone you see like he watch France and they're just

Africans all Africans too oh shit zero England England is a devastating action pack game right there there. 71.50. Whoa. England's got to get it together.

Brian, you'll know this. I might get roasted online for this. But like France, like you'll see a lot more black guys in the world. I'm like, man, there's a lot of black guys on there. But like when you watch France, like half their team's black.

No, no, hold on. Hold on. Are the best team in the world and 10 out of 11 players are black. Yeah, here's my thing. Do they call them, you know how African Americans here? Do they call them African French? No. We're the only nation that does that.

No. The reason that you have. There's so many is because in France. No, I know what they have so many, but I'm saying, like, in their culture, do they call them African French? No, they're French. Or like, when you see a black guy on California, you call it? People didn't say African-Canadian.

Yeah. Never, right? We're the only ones that's an American thing. Yeah, that's an American thing. Why? I don't know. Why are we the only dumbasses that do that? Because it came out of our academia, you know?

It actually came out of, I think Marcus Garvey, I think it came back to the- Well, here's a huge part of it, is in those countries, a lot of the guys like okay so for example London like if you call them African British or whatever you go well 30% of us are from Jamaica so a lot of them had another stop first right

like wait hold on hold on we're actually from yeah they're like I'm Jamaican or something France has a lot of Algerian a lot of Arabic people who that France colonized so they came over Morocco Moroccans it says in Canada

people call me say black Canadians is that gonna kill us that sound Chin chin. No. I can, I fix it to a certain degree, but you're going to hear some of it. Yeah, it's also Chad GBT, who knows who's putting that bullshit in. No, that's bullshit. In the UK, black British is widely used. I don't think so. I think, I think Chad GPD's making stuff up right now. Yeah, yeah. I get into big fights with Chad GBT. It's wrong. It's fairly wrong sometimes. Black Canadian? I mean, I guess, not really.

Because when you watch World Cup, I'm like, man, not that I give a flying fuck. They're so athletic and fat. I'm like, a lot of black guys in the world. I thought that's, even Ecuador, even Mexico, like the guy that scored football last night was black, you know? No, no, there's a, I'm sorry, but if you don't think that people of West African ancestry aren't a little faster and insanely athletic, the Holland team, the Dutch team had, I mean, they were like, there's a lot of that like black, white mixing and there's some beautiful looking six foot five. I take it. athletes. Yeah, okay.

Sweden was like, we're good. Yeah, but Sweden they're all white. Oh, no, we're good. Yeah, I thought soccer was more like, you know, South Americans, you know, it's not always just being the fastest is the best thing. Even the South Americans, though, even the South Americans, like in Ecuador, they were mostly black.

No, they would, no, no, Ecuador. Mix, mix. Ecuador, love it. Yeah. I think you're forgetting that we're talking about France, right? And you're just like, it's all Africans on France. And you go, yeah, because French people suck at athletics. Facts.

So maybe you're like, well, in that specific country, you go, what's the option? Like, oh, eh. Well, even like Zedan, even Zadan, their favorite, one of the most famous French soccer player, he was Algerian. So, yeah, because those kids, they're in the marginalized communities, like the West, the North African communities, sub-Saharan African communities in France and stuff. They play soccer on those fields, and the only way out sometimes is soccer. So they're just like, it's like Brazil. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's the poor man sport. It is weird.

Yeah, U.S. plays tonight, I think, at 5 o'clock here. Yeah, Bosnia-Hersikovina. Yeah. But, man, if England doesn't beat Congo. Devastated. Flock. Devastated. Damn.

It's crazy. And Germany's out, they're devastated. I love that. I loved watching Germany lose. Pureway beat them, right? Yeah, Paraguay, man. That was so huge. And those shootouts are dramatic.

Yeah. There's so much pressure on the goalie. That's the best thing about soccer is the shootouts. It really is. It's so much. much fun. The way the crowd goes crazy. Mexico last night looked so good. They look good. Damn, they look good. If they play that way, they're going to be a contender. Yeah. Again, we watch soccer once every four years and then we try to break it down on here and do

an awful job of it. Three with UFC. I'll take it to the absolute. Yeah. By the way. Like nice punch on that guy, huh? I'm actually now learning about soccer. Like, I didn't even know anything about the rules. I'm learning because my brother-in-law and my nephews are... I played soccer against my will. You can always tell the kids playing against the will. I coach kids. I was all right. I coach kids sports and I'm like,

oh, buddy. You guys don't want to be here. Oh, buddy. Go tell your dad. It's crappy sport. Yeah, it's like, dude. No, it's more... I played basketball, like kind of all the sports. I'm like, whatever, but hockey and lacrosse was like my main too. God, hockey would be a shitty one to pick if you don't really want to do it. You got all the pads on. You were, in my household, if you wanted to eat, you were doing,

this is, it was an hour of hockey, hour of, hour of piano before you wanted to even. Oh, wow. Buddy, like, in my, in my household, like, you didn't play hockey, that would be, like, the absolute worst. You're, you're out on the streets kind of thing. You're not part of, you're going to lose the last name. Yeah. He is a cardinal sin.

Your brother's, like, 270 and just a giant man. Yeah, I was better than those guys, though. I'm a brother that's like, he's, he's, He's like built like you, but six, seven. Jesus. Big guy. What's he, what's he do? He's a big guy.

He's like, he does sloppy fighting where he just like has a punching bag. He just four punches and like crazy guy. You're, uh, I'm tall than Brennan. It's weird. I'm six three, I think. What are you? I'm six four. He's bigger than me.

I mean, I was looking at both you and you are. I think my hat just, I have it on the way. Then he has to rebock pumps on. The pumps in the hat. Or you might, maybe, maybe. not six four anymore. Yeah, or I'm losing. My dad's had that where he'll be like, well, you got to be six, five, because I'm six, two,

and we're like, bad news for you. You're ain't six two anymore? You were shrink. I'm five, ten now. I used to be five, eleven and five eighths. I'm five ten because you lost an inch and a half. Yeah, your spine, I guess, shrinks. It's fucking retarded.

Dick looks bigger, though. Yeah. Facts. Facts. How's life in New York, brother? New York's great. I mean, I'll tell you, it was fun to be here doing this acting thing, and he cried. Brian Craig?

Not on, like in the set. Oh, that's a typical Wednesday for me. Like, you know, I know he does the acting show and this and, you know, I know you're like an actor actually, but there was, okay, it was a situation where there's cameras everywhere, everyone's yelling and screaming. It's like a funny thing. And I look at him and there's tears rolling down his face in the scene and I'm like, excuse me?

I didn't even know. That was part of that was the funny though, right? Because he's so, And on top of that, it wasn't like a sad scene. It was like sad. The joke was he was being sad. The joke is I have to be. I have to be super emotional.

Then you're like, you talk about Carl? The guy's like, he's sober now. I mean, he's nice, he's fine now. I'm talking about how I lost my best friend.

They're like, talk about Carl? Like the guy, I'm like, well, yeah, he's, he's okay now. He's got a family and stuff.

But I'm saying, it's not like my kid got hit by a car, but I'm just saying, I get it. I get this whole, you know, that was, you know,

everyone's kind of was like learning the lines like a few days before. And then when you, when I saw the tears on your face, I was like, oh, this guy's like an actual actor. Yeah, oh, we're really acting. But then I thought, okay, so then I thought on top of that a little bit that

if being a good actor is like you can cry, there's like maybe five, it's like five parlor tricks. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Being good actors, you know these five like magic tricks. I didn't say it's like a magician. No, but being, yeah, it's that. The dove in the fucking pan.

Exactly. It's a bag of tricks. But it's also the idea is, Gordon, there's one basic thing about acting. Like one, I always say, it's that. It's like, you're not doing the scene to cry. The whole point of that scene is he's trying not to cry. And then he cries anyway. Well, that's even more impressive.

It's like, if you're drunk, it's the same thing. If you're drunk, you're not coming in to fall down. You're trying to be sober. You're trying to convince everybody you're sober, but you're just having trouble to speak. You know, it's that kind of idea. So you're, that's how human beings. The layers.

Yeah. And so if you understand that, then it kind of makes it easier. But that's the technique. He's also been doing it for like 40 years. I'm trained. I'm actually trained. I think I could do it for 50 years. I don't know.

No, no, but what I'm saying is that, like, I trained formally forever. Did you train with, like, some gay guy that? Oh, yeah. Like, really, I trained. And I really worked at it. And I worked with really great actors, like big time actors on stage.

So. I saw, speaking of actors, I saw Elliot Page, Elliot Page. It's like Jack now and into boxing. Yeah. Dude, can you imagine just getting the, shit kicked out of you by Ali Page.

Well, first of all, that person, like, who the first... Who's the new dude? That person is five foot two? You had to spark, like, the first guy to go and then just get your fucking shit pushed in by... Wait, let me see Elliot Page boxing because that's adorable. She was just sitting pads, right?

Is that the one or... Yeah, it's he. Oh, sorry. It's he. Would you take that chance? Would you fight? What have you lost? The stakes are so hard.

Your life's over. If I'm in a coma, wake me up, and I'll still beat that person's... Do you have an eight pack? He's got an eight pack. There's not a shot. There's no, she did get, there's no chance.

He did get pretty, tough one. I know. He did get pretty fucking shredded after all this. Yeah, I'm really worried. Oh, this is amazing.

But isn't it weird how science, oh man, isn't it weird how science that can do this now? That's distosterone, right? Let me watch more of that. That's so,

is that juice? Disconcerting. That's T.R. That's fucking, to be that lean. But there is people that would get in that boxing ring and you just get your clock cleaned by

Elliot Page. How you go on after that? Was that the girl from Juno that beat the shit out of me? Like, yeah, I've leveled you. That is so crazy. But it's crazy how far fucking science is coming. Dude, that's like, she was so cute girl. And then he was like, you know, fuck this.

Let's, let's, I want to change. Now it's a cute boy. Now look at it. Oh, dude, that's nuts. I got to say, hey, you know what? Elliot Page, you're going for it. I'm going to call you a guy from now on. That's out of respect.

I feel like that. It's hard for a chick to get an eight-pack, too. Yeah, by the way, I think that what's her, he, Elliot Page is 5-2-1-10. If I was in a boxing ring and I was losing just because I don't know technique, and I would have to be like, I don't care about the rules,

I'm grabbing you and hearing you on. Yeah, I'm going to buy it. I'm fucking impressed, though. If I lost, I'd walk into the ocean and then you just live there now. That is so crazy that this was a woman. Isn't that crazy? and now is...

Bring up a picture when... I know what you're saying, it's like, what the... Like, in Juno, like, we all kind of had a crush on her, man. 100% adorable. She was an adorable gal. But it is easier to be chiseled when you're small like that. Yeah, fair point.

Like, that's so cute, though. So cute. Are they crazy? And now that's kicking the shit out of you? I mean, I find it very strange to me still, but, you know, Nah, it doesn't bother. I don't give a shit. Like, do whatever.

If that makes you happy being shredded and hitting myths, do it. I have a theory that a lot of dude actors, when they do press and stuff like that, they basically act like a little brother on a all-girls sleepover with their sister. Like, they're like, yeah, men are the worst. They're the little brother that got to hang out on this older sister's sleepover. Like, that's how they joined that team. It's so true. It's so true.

And I have no respect for those guys. Right. Hey, you, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, they're trying to impress their older sister's friends. So I knew this gangster. I knew a real gangster. And he said that there was a guy in there. Like a urban gangster or like mafia?

Like a real bad motherfucker. And but a bad guy, like a real gangster. And so he, there was a guy in their crew who got robbed at gunpoint and gave his money up. And like that was considered. Yeah. So you were supposed to fight to the death kind of. Yeah. He came to sit.

He came to sit. Why would he tell me? And he goes, and he goes, he goes, they found out about it. He came to sit. And he goes, he goes, you get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of here. You don't sit at this table, you bitch. It was inexcusable.

Like, there's that. How many guys were stealing his money? Or it was just one, but I don't know the story. I just know that, that the guy told me that was the story. The idea, the idea of the guy said was that there are certain things you just, if you're going to be a gangster, you're a gangster until the end. I'm kind of with that guy. I'm like, I didn't want to die.

Of course you with that guy. Man, living by $14. So am I. So am I. We're all with that guy. Living by street code would be the worst life than that. Exhaust. I can't wear my...

I can't wear my Dodgers at. Dude, it's blue. But I like the dogs. Michael Franci's dad didn't give up any witnesses and did 51 years in jail. It's like, okay. Heaven forbid. I mean, that's the thing that the RICO after all that. Are those guys still calling you when you're in prison?

No, never heard from. Hey, you did 50 years? Yeah. They're all dead, by the way, too. Yeah. in jail. It's like, no, no, no. That's what, that's what it is. Like, well, here's the thing. You could cut a police, you and turn on everybody, or you're going to go away for, say it with me, 65 years. How's that sad? I'd say, you say 65, give me that piece of paper right now.

All of us would. It's like, sorry. You want their numbers and addresses? How do you want me to do it? Yeah. You want their Instagram? I'll DM one for you. Yeah. That's a crowd beers. I'm out, dude. I was saying they kind of, uh, they got like white chicks in New York to agree to street code, the women will be like, well, I don't want to call the cops when I was robbed because like it might be bad for like a black guy or something. They convinced women like to live by the street code.

He's fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah. They convinced you live by gang code. Fuck, dude, street code would be so exhausting. Street code's cool over 16. They're so marginalized. I don't want to, I don't want to call the cops. They convinced them like that would be bad news. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you a crib?

You fucking idiot. Are you in the cribs? If it's my son, I'm going away. Anybody else? fuck off. So look, I got kids. I got a four-year-old, I got a two-year-old, and brushing their teeth is mandatory, especially when I find out that my kid actually had some cavities because, you know, brushing teeth is not what kids like, but they have to do it or they get cavities and you

don't want your four-year-old getting their teeth drilled. That's just awful and cruel. But then you ever wonder what you put in toothpaste? You ever know what's in there? You know, like SLS, glycerin, foaming agents. It's like a chemical cocktail you're putting in your mouth twice a day. I don't know what's in there. I don't know what it does.

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That's van man. Dot shop slash fighter, use code fighter for 15% out of your first order. Van Man, real ingredients, no exceptions. Yeah, maybe if it was like not a crazy amount of time where you're like, I'm going to have to face the consequence, but if you're like going to jail for life, you're like, I mean, either way, I'm over.

Dude, our boys are. And by the way, they're all lying. Like, if you listen to any of those podcasts, you go every second it's always not them but every second guy has snitched you know yeah dude our boy stevie blue eyes they're all liars boy stevie blue eyes he got caught by the feds he was running he was big time drug trafficking and they said to him he was young he was like 22 or they're like dude listen obviously you have your whole life had you just tell us who you're doing this with we don't want you we want to you and steve was like i'm not doing it and the guy goes bro i like you're a cool guy please

I'm begging you. The FBI guy was like, he's like, I'm not doing it. When he got to Fort Dix and they found out that he didn't turn, they threw a party for him. You're going to have a better jail experience. Yeah, they were like, holy shit, but he did six years. But if you ask him, yeah. But if you ask him, he's like, yeah, that's short stick. I think, without, without, you ask him and he'll be like, I'd never heard from those guys again. Yeah.

No, he did. He did. He did. Now he heard. He did. He did. Like, thanks, man. Six years is it. No, no, I mean, he got. Listen, I wouldn't write out my boys for six years. if I'm in a life of crime. But, and it's not, but it's not, you're saying,

we're talking about like going to jail, but there's more what you're saying. You're like, I have to die for strictly, you know what I mean? No. You know, the disrespect culture. I'm not. That like someone, you know, steps on your shoe, whatever bumps you, looks at your girl the wrong way.

Like that sort of I have to fight disrespect culture. Well, like, but even like think about it like in South Central. Now it's a little different, but it's like, wait, wait. So if we're in a gang, right, like we're the bloods, those are the crips. And they're like, damn, those dudes are on our territory. They're off 17th Street. I'm like, okay? Yeah, you have to go.

Yeah, we got to go shoot all of them. Like, fuck, dude. Because, well, we don't own the street. They don't own the street. Yeah, I know, man, but them the rules. The foot. You're like, really? Yeah, yeah, go shoot.

The famous stories, if you ever read, they're heartbreaking. But World War I, when somebody would get like shell shocked or they wouldn't charge, like something would happen. or they wouldn't charge to the next whole suit. So they'd go, they'd blow a whistle and you would run and they'd mow everybody down with machine guns, but some of the guys would get over and bayonate

and kill everything. And some guys just wouldn't. They stay in their foxhole. Sometimes you get knocked out, too scared, shell-shocked, whatever. And the stories of the commanding officer would then come to the kid. Could be 18, 19, and he was probably 21, 22. and he would explain to him the code.

This was British. This was, you know, German, whatever. Explain the code. Explain what the rules were. Shake his hand. And typically the soldier would be like, I understand, sir. And go and get shot and just like die like a soldier. It's like, fuck, dude.

I guess, yeah, good for the government that they've convinced you. Yeah, no thanks. Crazy. Or how about, how about, I think it was Germans, Germans or French soldiers, they're in Russia at the time. time, those German shoulders, they're in Russia. And in Russia, like in around October, the temperature can just drop without warning. And they were there and they were kind of dressed for fall. And one night, the Russian winter, they called General Winter, said, I'm going to dip a little bit.

I'm going to bring you guys down. And it crashed. It became one of those Russian nights. And it was like, It fell to like 20 below. And 12,000 German soldiers, 12,000 died of froze to death in one life. You don't have kids, but can you imagine, like, now that we know more about like wars and, you know, how it's a business and all the shady dealings and stuff. Like, can you imagine having an 18 year old son now and he's like, dad, I'm going to go fight for your freedom. I'm going to Iran. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who told you that?

Yeah. No, I'm good, dude. No, you're not, no, you don't need to do that, dude. That happens in, I guess, you're in Texas. You know people that, like, but in New York, I don't think you know a ton of guys that are signing up to go to war. I respect the shit out of, like anybody. I respect it.

We have a voluntary or army now, and I respect the shit out of anybody who's obviously in their family. Like, if you look at some of these, like 16, 17, 18 and I was like, oh, we're cooked it. Those kids have been playing video games eating fucking Cheetos. You know what, though? Sometimes I wish we had a draft for, for, for, for. most of our youth so they could just have two years of reality, training, getting better safety.

Just hardship. Learn teamwork, learn the discipline of the military. You can do that without the Army. You go, you have to get drafted to go to our fitness camp. Probably not the same thing. Probably not the same thing, but yeah. Sure. There's something about having to go and be in the Marines, in the Army. That'll change.

That'll change your DNA, especially if you've been a bitch your whole life in front of a video. It would make things better on the Internet. I think so. Yeah. I think so. I mean, what about people that weren't a bitch their whole life, though? That's... Why am I doing?

They do better. They do better. Yeah, they'd exceed. They do better. I don't know if I would. I think if I was forced, I think there would be two years. I don't think I'd ever submit to it, if that makes sense. Because what you're saying requires that at some point you were like, I did submit

to this experience. And I think that in my mind, I would always be like, okay, uh, yeah. Now I got to run 15 miles. Yeah. And I wonder sometimes, too, it's like, also now. with technology and drones and stuff, how much, how much are we actually going to be needing real human beings on the ground?

Especially if you're like, if your son's like a smart kid and like, we need you to grab that gun and go running out and like, what? There's like 60,000 drones over there, dude. Why don't they do it? And I'll stay here. Kind of what's happening.

Yeah. I think the only thing that there's two parts that would be good. One is like for some people, it is a good deal where you get paid okay. You can get school. Like, it is just an okay deal for some people. And for two, you are kind of hanging with the boys.

Yeah. Like a little bit. Like, I'll meet Army dudes. And I played in bands. And so, like, you're a lot, you spend time in locker room.

Like, there is a culture that's fun. And the army is kind of like the other. I've talked to, I remember, discipline to it. Like, like,

it's good for you. It's from, for the most part, I think that part I'm out on. But I, but through your point, there's also a community. Like,

like, like, with the boys. Yeah, like, we're all going through the same shit. We don't want to be here. I remember I talked to some, like, in music, there's a little bit of, like, dudes that are like 25 or like over the hill, you know what I mean?

Yeah. And there is also that in sports where there's a guy that's like retired at 31. Like, you know what I mean? When did you retire? I was like 26. Yeah, it's like young as fuck. And Army has it a bit too, right? Yeah.

Yeah, you also. You miss you. That's the part you miss. It humbles you too. It humbles you. Because if you think you're a, I always say, if you think you're a tough guy or you think it's that and the other thing, you go into a war zone. Like I did that. USO tour and I was like, Jesus,

there's some tough people, man. Different, different, a different thing going on. You can get humbled by life, you know, by real life enough without you could. Being yelled at in a ditch. Yeah. Yeah, but I think there's a lot of, I think you gain a lot. I think you gain a lot.

I think a lot of people. You think everyone would gain from it. A lot of people. Like, a lot of people are very happy they did it. I think the majority would. Yeah. Yeah. It changes you. It just make, I feel like it would make our nation tougher and you have a little more pride. I think our foreign policy would be where you're not going to be like bickering over pronouns or you know. Yeah. I got

to be honest, it wouldn't have. I would be a draft dodger. So even regardless of already from Canada, bro. Regardless of what extent. I'm sure it's great. Be more of a musician and a YouTuber right now. I'm more of a YouTuber.

You're actually super talented. There's zero chance. I'll talk about her on YouTube. You're super super talented, dude. Thank you. And there's so many steps before getting to that trench where I'm out. I'm no colorblind. I have flat feet. I got an idea.

I'll shoot like content while we're in the ditch, man. I'll like edit it together back at the bump. In World War, in World War I, guys used to light a cigarette and hold their hand up to get a shot. They would get their fucking hand blown off so they could get a fuck out. Because the stench, people don't realize like when you were in that trench warfare in World War I,

the biggest thing is they couldn't find water because they couldn't get supplies to the front. line and you could smell the front line from five miles away those days are over right like the world war one world war two they're not over because that's what's going on in ukraine right now and it's fucking crazy and they're doing hand-to-hand man-to-man yes dude and and they're stuck in those trenches and you know when somebody dies all that money they could maybe afford some water bottles well in world war in world war one my problem was people would be you'd be in a trench it was a mud trench and it would start raining and then all the dead bodies that were there and then you were

shit. So you were in a sewer of dead bodies and shit. It was a great time. It was a great time. It's a tough gig. And you couldn't get water. Couldn't get water. Yeah, it's a terrible gig. I mean, I also wouldn't want to do construction. So yeah. Yeah, no. Let alone be at the ditch. Yeah, no. Fuck, dude. It was bad. But in, uh, where, where certain parts of the world, you still, you have to do two years, right? Like Korea, Chin, right, Korea? Israel. Korea. Uh, Korea. There are most countries. So Chin, are you, are you, draft Dodger? Because you came here. He's America. American citizen.

You know, my parents, the main reason why they came to America was because they had two boys. My dad served as a Marine there. Your dad was a Marine? Yeah, Rock Marine. That's a big deal. And he had to stay longer. Korean Marines are bad motherfuckers. So he served, he did the Marines because it's going to be harder, but it was a shorter,

shorter time. But there was a threat from North Korea when you did it. See, I had to stay longer and suffered a lot. So then my mom knew about all that stuff and they're like, we're going to. We don't want you guys deal with it. go to Dallas. They're looking after their babies. Oh, dude, I 1,000% get it.

Yeah. But I'll look at the countries that have. Yeah, because Israel, they have to serve Korea, Japan. Women and men in Israel serve. Women and men. Women and men. Same out of Mount town. But you can probably be like on the computer guy.

Like there's probably ways around it. Holy shit. Over 80 countries currently have a mandate. Brazil, Mexico. I mean, Switzerland, of course. See, every man in Mexico has to do 12 months in the army? or cartel, you pick. There's ways around it.

There's ways around it. I'll do the cartel seems a lot more fun. I like Mexico. 12 months. One year, boys, 12 months. See, he likes that, yeah. One year's cool. Make some friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some friends. You get some, lose the gut. Yeah, yeah, get some inside. Do some pull-ups, a few push-ups. Well, that's my, I don't know if you know my weight loss plan. That's more I think of, I go, you put on a pound every month, and then once a year you lose 12 pounds in the month.

That's brilliant, dude. You do that forever. Forever. Greece and turkey. It's one bad month. One bad month. But a lot of the guys I know who've done this, like, it was an incredible experience. They're hanging with their boys.

If you're not going to war. They're hanging with the boys part, I get. You make lifelong friends. I feel like I would have thrived in the military, man. That was my cup of tea. Yeah, you would kill your machine. You 100% worth. Yeah.

Because you don't get really, you don't get cold, injured. you can carry a lot of shit. You're just tougher. I'd be a fun guy, like, off duty, but I think people would get sick of me once I'm in the trenches. We're all cold, dude. Be fucking cool.

Yeah, and there be like... Wait, what? We're all cold. Quit fucking bringing it up every two minutes. There'd be a few guys that have been having enough of my shit. Dude, I'm such a pussy. I get...

You dive a friendly fire. I'm good with heat, not cold. You can handle it cold. Yeah, I like it all. Boys, forgot my gun. I'll tell you. I'll catch up. I'm gonna,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm a little sleep. I guess you'd fine. Yeah, no, I'm good,

all that shit. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, you're weirdly tough. Yeah, I'm good with all that, man.

Well, the main thing for you is you can carry a hundred pounds in your back with no problem. 100 pounds on my back on a lot. And I like to run. Yeah. Do the army from the Canadian people I know?

It's like what they mostly did was just go train like Afghanistan. Like they would train other armies. Yeah. But like poorly. Like, like, I spent three years training the Afghanistan. guys and then you just watch them all just go get murked and then you go all right we tried oh man we

should have done a couple more you unsuccessfully train other arms just can destroy the shitty shitty coaching my bad my bad fellas I told you duck no yeah I've heard of the phrase headphone dodgers just interesting arm uh draft dodgers they in london and I think it's a few other places but they uh people that don't wear headphones on the subway or like the trains and stuff like that. Like they want to watch stuff on their phone. You know, on the plane,

someone will do that. But they made, they like have laws now where you'll get a ticket, but they call it headphone dodgers, which just sounds like a racist term. It's like a bit of a headphone dodger. I'm super rich.

Yeah, it's funny. And they keep like really like having new laws about like, now it's another thing for headphone dodgers. Like 100 tickets have been given out to headphone dodgers. It's a funny term. Yeah, man. Fuck.

Yeah, you're not going to catch me on that though. Yeah, it's not for everybody. It's not. We're lucky. For the masses. I train reluctantly. Like, I do, I feel like I'm in shape because intellectually I know that it's good to be in shape.

Yeah. And it's better for my brain and you don't want to be fat and there's a million reasons. You have more energy. And I've run four times a week and every single one ever has been reluctant. I've never once not hated it in my entire life. And you run like long distance? I mean, it depends. Yeah, I can run 25 minutes maybe.

like 20, 25 minutes. It's good, though. It's good, it's intense. It's not intense. No one's it intense. It's good. Take it easy on intensity. It's just, you know, it's 25 minutes consistent running, though.

Yeah, I'm running slow. Yeah. I see girls are past me on the trail. Yeah. I'm, I'm a, as I get older, like almost 60, I'm a believer in fucking going crazy in the gym now. Like, I'll do it. I'll work out for an hour, but it's more.

You probably like it more if you can. I just, I like being in better shape than most people who are younger than me. Do you listen to like metal music and just go in? No, I just, I go to this archetype boxing. We'll do like a 20-minute cross-fit, like, E-MOM thing, and then we wrestle or we box and stuff. But if you're, like, really wrestling at my age, it's not, it's not, it's not, most people

say it's crazy, but if you can get to a point where you're in shape and you feel good. For sure. It makes you feel strong. Plus, if you can knock it all out an hour, that's the move. An hour. I'm not doing, look, 20 minutes. I promise you I can knock mine out in an hour. Oh, yeah.

Half hour of wrestling is plenty. I'm in the gym for 30 minutes, man. Yeah, thank you. Get in and out. Yeah. I'm not rolling. for, you know, I'm an adult, so I'm gonna, I'll do some. I wish I could be there where I'm like, I like this.

Sometimes I can. But also like for me, like 20 minutes, 30 minutes is how you stay from being injured too. Like if you get to a certain age, like you get more delicate with your age. You got to like warm up and shit. Fuck, yes, you do. And also don't be doing, like when you told me, like when I was doing Olympic lifting. Yeah. And you were like, listen, dude, one mistake is fucking really bad idea.

You just got to be careful with this. Yeah, you tear a shoulder and you're like, this is me for the next seven years. Yeah, I was talking to Phil Heath, seven-time Mr. Olympia. He said, I watched his dog. I don't lift a lot of, like, heavy weight, dude. That's how you get injured. You do, like, 12 to 15. Yeah, I lifted with Phil and I was surprised how light you were going.

What? You go pretty heavy. Yeah, I like going, I like going, like, to eight reps where I'm, to failure. I feel good when I do that, like, but not every time. Oh, you mean he's not doing, like, two or three? But bodybuilding's different, right? It's different. Just fucking wrestling, like, just grabbing another dude.

Gay. It's gay. It's gay exercise It's gay exercise I'm a rocket sport guy Whenever Brian tells me Does that wrestling You ever seen them

You've seen them with Foxcatcher Yeah yeah yeah You remember like the coach from Foxcatcher I'm bitcher And he's going with like the world class guys And he's like Doing it's like Very good

Get my back And Brian's like Yeah Steve Kerel Like with a nose With a nose Bad hair Yeah

What's the old guy doing it I see the old guy Oh yeah dude You're getting way better And I didn't feel like feeling good about myself. Like, oh, geez. That's great. Yeah.

You felt like you had a good workout in the, and then they get back to the locker. Like, Jesus. God, he was so creepy in that. I'm picturing the scene at Eastern Promises. Yeah, by the way, it may as well. It's both. You're coming into the gym. That's me, though, right there.

That's me. Dude, and then he did a competition and paid the guy to take a fall. You know what? This is real. He did a competition and paid the guy. I'm sure. That's, oh, it's so weird. That movie's fucking great.

What a piece. piece of shit. Hey, Mark Zuckerberg's actually competing. I respect that. He's actually getting out there. Speaking of Wiggers.

You got, do you got a j-cirl and a chain and put it on TRT? He's like, I love him. I'm cool. He looks great. I like everyone's like,

yeah, he's cool. The funniest transformation. Dude, his transformation is bigger than fucking Elliot pages, man. This is crazy.

And I just want to, his marketing team was like, listen, Mark, we had a, we have switched the shit. Yeah, yeah, what's that?

This is testosterone. And what's that? That's a white shirt. And what's that? That's a chain from Jackson's. And then we want you to curl your hair. He used to be doing the like IBM start me up and now he comes in. He's like, yo, it's good fam.

Like, what? What's popping, y'all? Starts every interview with what's popping. Dude, I love. He's popping. What's that? What is? It's incredible.

He's got an OVO necklace on? Yeah. He looks great, though. Brian's the opposite. You're like, actually pretty cool. I can't stand. Look at him. Look at him. Oh, shoot.

See that? Oh, nice. What does that say? What is this? There we go. Who is that? That's Zuckerberg. The Zucks algorithm.

Is that his wife? That's Zuck's wife? Unfortunately, that's my algorithm. Nice. Dude, the algorithm right now? Just Koreans with flat asses. The algorithm right now is like your shitty friend at work. It's like, you know, you see this?

It only sends you. You're like, it's Monday morning. Why would I want to watch it beheading? No, you. Algorithms like, now, you like it. You know what's up, but. Come on. The prayer that I said in my dog is every night when I put in the bed.

I'm a Jewish prayer called. Oh, wow. Misha Birch. Is he Jewish? Yes. Zuckerberg? Zuckabberg's very Jewish. Very Jewish.

Heavy on the Jew, yeah. I just do not fuck with that guy. Very smart, man. That is, that's a smart move to be like, no, this is religious. I'm not trying to be a hype beast. They're like, who gave you that chain? Two chains. But listen, it's brilliant.

It's religious. Have you guys? heard Zuck Seifer. No, what is that? He released the Cypher rap track. It's not real though, right? No, of course not. Okay, I was like, what the... But yeah, he makes me laugh. The, like, Bezos is another

funny one where just like 55 becoming like a Miami yacht guy. Yeah. Just going from like a bald nerd to Miami Yacht guy in your 50s is, I don't know, it's great. And then Elon just like, no, I'm good. I'm stay fat. Oh, if you watch old Elon, he is a bit of a... His hair was fucked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he plugged it up. Yeah, he plugged it up. But he's not the same way. His hair was atrocious. He looked like a nerd. So he classed up a little bit when he became a trillionaire. Look at him. But he still believes it's cool to be a nerd a little bit.

He still keep it a nerdy. You know, he's still like, I'm a trillionaire. Fuck off. Yeah. I got to get to his doctor in a hurry. Wow. Trillionaire. But they all, every single one of them almost has done a transformation.

I mean, and by the way, fair enough. if you're worth billions of dollars and you're just like still rocking you know if you're still flabby and bald like they solved this pal he's awesome i can go both ways though because then the other way you go hey you don't have to do shit that's my thing but my another thing like with elon with zuckerberg with jeff bezo jeff beza is not as much as elon and zuckabberg but it's like why do you guys want to be famous just be the fucking rich guy i don't think they have a choice though elon does no they don't think if i have his money if i have his money i ain't going on any podcast. Do what?

Why are you a podcast? I know, but what I'm saying is this, like, maybe in a way you had that much money and you realize you have to take a stand to make a difference? Like, it's a, how would you, like, if you had that much money, you can make such a difference. How much difference did his wife make? She spent 80 gazillion dollars a year and a half. But you know what I'm saying, though? You have all this money and you're like, I got to do something with this.

What am I going to do if I don't, right? It's like. But that doesn't explain why he needs to be famous. Yeah, that doesn't expect. You can do that not be famous. I think fame comes to you regardless if you're the richest man in the world. That is for sure true, but he's doing a wedding with actors that's like, he's doing like press junkets in his normal life.

Yes. That's probably so fun too, though. Like he's finally the cool kid at the party. I've seen the parties in the audience. Well, there you go. But that's not making a difference in the world. Like if I have a billion dollars, there's no Instagram posting. Yeah, yeah.

I have an Instagram. What? I don't have a phone. I mean, Zuck's got to have an Instagram, obviously. Yeah, yeah. I went to a party in Malibu and he was there. But there were other people like Leo DiCaprio and Jamie Fox. Of course.

But he was there and he was part of the scenery. And why would he be there if he didn't want to be in the men? Because he's a man of a certain age. It's fun. They're girls everywhere. He's living his best life. Yeah. You know,

it's fun to kind of be like, I'm going to go to this party and have everybody try to get down my pants. I'll tell you what, though, in my opinion, it's more fun to be the billionaire that can just walk around normally. Like that's maybe the funish guy. to be.

I would agree with that. Yeah, no one's, like, trying to murder you, no one's trying to kidnap your kids. But also, you can do anything. Bezos, the more you do that, the more you can't do anything. No, you've got to have security 24 cents. It's also a little strange to have 14 kids

that you obviously can never see because that's, it's physics, you don't have time in a day. Like, that's 14 kids that probably, how often does he really see? Often of them probably don't even live in the same state. Yeah. No, no, listen, I like certain things. Elon is a terrible father.

I mean, you think what is terrible dad? I think that's very dad. Him and Nick Cannon are like one and two. I'm right with you. Like, I don't get it. I feel bad for the kids. But he's also a visionary and he's amazing. Well, his thing, the way he validates in his head, he's like, well, people having less

kids, so we need more kids on this earth. I think that came around kid aid where he started developing. Actually, it's smart. Yeah, he's like, I'll just fuck a bunch of bitches and they get pregnant. He's a strange guy, man. But don't you think like he was autistic? He came up with the like post talk, you know? Yes.

Like, I'd kid. eight, he was like, I'm actually saving the world's what I'm doing. He's like, no, this is actually a good thing. I'm not a deadbeat dad. But he probably came up with the concept when baby mom was like, I'm pregnant. He's like, Jesus Christ, that's nine this year. I'm like, listen, it's actually a good thing. I think so. That's how he validates it. He's got 14 kids. I'll check. And some of them you don't even know about. Like, do you think he was saying I'm saving the world a kid two or did that come at's kid seven? Past six is when he was like, I got to figure something out here. You know? Man. And then Nick Cannes like, yeah, I'm with him.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not like a deadbeat. I'm a hero. Yeah. What are you talking about? I'm basically Batman. Yeah, I think I feel like. Nine baby mom is it's called saving the world.

Yeah, what do you piece of shit? Have more. You're like, okay, I guess this makes sense. Yeah, I feel like in a way. And every deadbeat dad's like, yeah, look at Elon. He should have had a big farm and everybody live on the farm and work the farm and have tutors. That's what you'd want?

Yeah. I'd have all my kids living on a farm with me. They'd have to work on. a farm, do sport. I have everything there. Imagine telling you're billionaire kid they have to work on a farm though. Yeah, it's good. Wait, Dad, why am I milk on this cow? Yeah, I'd be like, you're waking up in the morning.

It's going to be that, that's your life. Yeah, but Brian, you're going to have to do it. What? Yeah, you're going to have to do it. I'll set the example. Those kids ain't going to do it unless you're doing it. I'll set the example. You ain't, I'm 10 to my jersey cows.

You ain't doing it. I'm 10 in my jersey. My miniature jersey cows? Hey, dad, yeah, so on Monday tools 8 a.m. And you slept into 10. Okay, well, I had sets the night before. Right, I get that. So tomorrow, like, yep, tomorrow we're going to do it.

And then tomorrow, my dad, again, you said at 8 a.m. And he slept in 11. By the way, when you're a farmer, you know, it's 4 a.m. Hell yeah, yeah. Now, that's, I'm one that told you that way. Way too fucking really. You think you could be a farm guy, like off the grid, dude? Aspirin.

Could he? All his animals would die. No, no, you forget. Four a. All of them would die. But I love those cows. For the first month, because all the animals is like, oh, how cute they are. Yeah.

And then he forgets about them. He's like, fuck, chickens need water? But look how cute they are. Yeah, Brian, you're a bit of like a Hollywood guy. That's like a, you could, that would be like a, you could do a vacation on a phone. But I don't want to be, Brian, I want to be that guy. I want to be the farmer with rough hands. You see yourself as like, I could be the author of great guy.

Yeah, mud on my boots. And then once it comes, like three months in, he's like, fuck this. I feel like that on tour sometimes even when I'm in like, you know, small cities. Maybe not cities, but like cities that don't feel like cities. Yeah. you're there. After like a week, I'm just like, the day one, I'm like, I can do this, day three. I'm like, what are we doing here? I was in Indiana in central Indiana.

It's the only one in town. It gets so cold. You get those cowboys out there on horseback and like when it's 20 below, trying to herd the cattle together. Fucking no. No, thank you. I don't even like being a director. It's too much work.

Yeah, yeah. I have to work out the shot list. You want me to be out there at four in the morning, attending to my cattle? It was so sick. him like work. Yeah, that might be true too. Like when you were directing,

he's all excited that you got the gig, right? And then the week goes by I go, dude, I go, I'm like,

dude, it's so much work. Once you have homework. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got a good sign as the star in court.

Like, dude, I can fucking play all the time. You're like, yeah, everybody's, yeah, but the fuck we do. But I said the same thing

about being an actor. On the set, you're like, I'll tell you, I've said to, uh, Like, I believe, you know, most people, when you hear like a celebrity or something and you go, you heard stories where they were a dick. And you're like, I think most people you can go through life without being a dick.

Yeah. Directing is like on the sacked thing is one of the only things where someone they go, this guy was yelling and screaming at everyone. And I'm like, I get it a little bit. Yeah, it's like being a coach. Yeah. I was just going to say, there's certain things where I get it. He yelled at me. I'm like, that might have been week four and two days in camp, 100 degrees out. It was the only way to get what I wanted.

You guys keep fucking up. Yeah. you problems like, hey, there was no other way. And I know what I want. So, and I know exactly what I want. So if you guys are doing a story. Well, you weren't yelling and screaming. No, no, no, I wasn't.

But I'm saying that I'm, I'm going to be, if I'm not getting what I want, I'm going to figure out, like, I'm getting resistance. That's probably where I'm going to get a little bit. I can, I can especially understand with, like, established directors. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. What's his name? Sheridan, who's directed all those fucking TV shows and movies and stuff. And he's hit after hit.

and people keep giving like feedback he's like all right motherfuckers this is how we're doing it yeah i know what the fuck i'm doing yeah get in line dude you know is that way and then they go off and then i keep the sun's going down we have four minutes correct he's like we got to get going hey you put the can you like you have to and that chuck lorry does that if you if the network gives him notes because he's been so successful he's crushing what's he what's he what's he do look up chuck cowboy shows right he did two and a half man he's made a cowboy guy that was sheridan so he's and I was down. Chuck Lori's done all those shows.

Lori's, I remember he was in the fight with... Look at all the shows he's done. Look at all the shows he's done. Like he's, he's... Oh, Big Bang 3, two and a half of men. He's crushed it. Young Sheldon, huge. Everything.

All right, he had some misses. Yeah. Darwin and Greg, everything. He had those two hits, though. We'll give them that. Yeah, no, three hits. Roseanne. He didn't fucking, oh, Roseanne's a monster.

Race Under Fire, Monster. Sybil's huge. The sitcom King. Race Under Fighter, huge. Oh, he's that big boys. Monster, Monster. The most successful TV guy on that. Huge, huge.

And the network with some, some, some dude from the network who's never written a story in his life would be like, I think such and such. And Chuck Lurie would would be like, huh. That's like telling Nick Saban, like, hey, with your defense, he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. What note are you giving me? Get out of here. Yeah, good God. He has some big boys.

Oh, yeah. Ran for 12 seasons. Highest rated to come in America. But again, you won't see him at like fucking red carpets and trying to be famous. famous all this shit he's set he's like I'm good he was the guy that was in the fight with Charlie Shane

if you remember yeah and you know who won that fight Chuck Lorry right that's right yeah Charlie Sheen's an a hole well he's probably under the influence

to at the time yeah whatever he's yeah they can be a hectic situation where but most people it was you know you didn't need to yell at people

they're good didn't the homeboy get in trouble. He was Batman, but he was on set for something. Remember they got video, he was young. There's a lot of those hot mic situations. Christian Bell. Christian Bell, but then when you hear why, like the guy was just being idiot.

And he kept walking through a scene like several times before that. And then someone was like, oh, he's about to blow. Yeah. And they filmed that one thing. And then, you know, Christian Bale's not going to defend himself. So he just gets annihilated online. And then you hear from the other people on the set where like, well, actually, that fucking guy kept walking through.

that he got yelled at several times. You never do that. Christian Bale was like, yo, motherfucker. Like this is the seventh take. I got to cry. Like, what the fuck are you doing?

People are like, oh, Christian Bail's such a dick. He's like, all right. No, he's not. That's a major problem. Some assholes walk in, like, what are you doing? And what did Mel Gibson's life do while we're on the topic?

Yeah. Like, you know, there's two sides of every story. Well, while we're on the topic. Although you might not want to use the N-word a whole bunch.

Sugar tips. We don't know what she did. He was a little drunk. He was a little drunk. Yeah, man. No Gibson's back, though, yeah? Yeah, he's back. He's back.

He's back. He might have, he might have, it's possible Mel Gibson wouldn't have made as much money as he made had he not, you know, kind of got kicked out.

Did that time out? And been forced to do his own day. No, he had to take a 10-year timeout. You think he would have made Passion of the Christ money? Passion of Christ was before he had his craziness, though. Is that true? Yes.

No, I don't think so. It is. No. Because then he came out with apocalyptic. No, no. So, so, so. So we went passionately We went to Christ

Then I went Apocalyptic And it was after Apocalyptic That he went nuts You'll see Oh Yeah Well then I don't know At marathon gas stations

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Stream now Pay never Yes and no What So so yeah AI says we're both right No no So you know

Passion of Christ Faced a huge amount of backlash Because it made the Jews Look really bad And it was full of anti-Semitic Sort of like The Jews had giant Presthetic noses

You remember that I don't know if you remember that No I don't think I'll watch that And when they threw the shekels, it was like, you know. So he really. That's true. Yes. So.

So. Isn't he doing part two? Yeah. So that, by the way, that became. So in the films release was 2004, he had his craziness in 2006 where he railed against the Jews. And that was like, boom. And that was after. But then look at what he made after that.

He had done apocalyptic. Big boys. Yeah. He did apocalyptic. And apocalyptic was an amazing movie. Oh my God. That's a great movie. Amazing movie.

But he thought that they fucked it up. they shot it digitally. Remember? It was the first movie to be shot digitally on that scale. That's right. And he blamed some people. And he blamed some people. And so he got drunk and he got pulled over. He got pulled over and called a sugar tucks.

And said, no, that was when he said the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world and all that stuff. He went crazy. That's also what called her sugar tits. He was sort of ahead of his time because that would have been possible. I thought it was the same rant. was nope I'm glad sugar tits is a great line sugar tits was later when he got a drunk again with that Russian girlfriend no sugar tits was to the cop oh it might have been yeah it was a guy no no no it was a girl he called the girl sugar tits I think it's a guy watch this uh on so you want to look up sugar tits

yeah I think he was a guy there's been sugar tits if we don't mind I think he's a guy type in sugar tits for me can't be called dude sugar tits and this is a fat guy then that's even funnier police charge of shirt just turns in from his head yeah police in Malibu wasn't it sergeant, a male, though. No, it's female. No. Female police sergeant. Sugar tits is hilarious. Call somebody sugar tits. It's fantastic. What's up? Sugar tits. Like, all right, dude.

Super funny. I hope it's a guy. Such an old school thing, too. Oh, call it a female. I'm sorry, call the female police sergeant. Like no, no young kids calling somebody sugar tits. And they knew they were like, oh God, Mel Gibson's drunk again. Apparently they pulled them over a couple times. Yeah, right off Malibu.

Some, I think that of the top, like, DUIRS, him Timberlake had a good one. Timberlake. Tiger Woods probably the goat right now. He just had another one, too. Tiger Woods keeps fucking up. Well, I think he's probably got a drug issue, doesn't he?

A painkiller issue. Yeah. Yeah. From his knees and back. There's been some other words. Didn't Charles Barkley have a good one? And then Robert Downey Jr. had a good one. But then he was caught with a transgender, right?

No. Really? I thought Robert Downey Jr. You know that was Eddie Martin Murphy. No. Robert Downey Jr. too. man you're good at this because you remember these things i don't know that i know he was found in a sleeping in in a crib at home he was that drunk yeah i know yeah but he robert downing junior got caught with uh

some lady boys trans person yeah sure sure chat jbt he's like no no well spreading rumors chat gbt one you can't trust yeah we can't trust anything actually so you got just ask chat gb t if rod stewart's stomach did actually have to get pumped because it was so full of cum. Or if Richard Gere had a dri-up up his ass, all that's fake. Robert Taney Jr. is amazing. So is it just Eddie Murphy was caught? There are, I believe there are two people that did.

Was Charles Barkley not caught with trans? Or it might just making all the shit up? Wasn't it, wasn't it? Charles Barkley was the English actor who was in all those movies? Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant, wasn't he and Eddie Murphy? Hugh Grant, I think it was a black girl, right? I forgot now.

Just caught with a black one? A black prostitute. I think that was a main thing. Charles Barker was just trying to use the wiener's suck. Yeah, that's fine. Let's go to chat. They used to have a better system where it was like before, it was like you get caught with the thing,

you do the apology, you do the rehab, and then you're back. Yeah, yeah. They don't have a really good system for people to get past their little controversy. It's because it'll be, yes, forever. Because they bring it up in the, like, Tom, it says like one thing, you know, like Hugh Grant could post right now and people just start bringing shit up.

So nobody was, sorry, all of us. He was just caught with, what's her name, Divine Brown? Okay. Yeah. Hugh Grant, obviously, I wouldn't have, he seems like a. So Divine Brown was actually a woman? Yeah. Okay.

Chad GBT's like, please quit asking him to say transgender because none of it's real. He got caught with a prostitute. It's Chad GPD. There's no such thing. It's not a real thing. There's only two sexes, you idiot. He was dating somebody else. I mean, she kind of looks like.

Like, you know, you can mistaken. Yeah. A little bit. She's pretty. Damn, what former sex worker has her own Wikipedia? Occupation. Former sex worker. I was kind of thinking like America as a country.

You know, like it is a country that likes a happy ending, the same way that, you know, all the fairy tales. If you look at the original one is, you know, Snow White's eyes got pecked out by. And lately it's like. now it feels like there is the happy ending's been taken away where it's like even if you think of the actors it's before it's like well they do this thing then they have their arc and then now we like him it's it's missing the happy ending part which is a big part of America yep that's kind of a bummer what else you got jinn all right so some current events here let's go

oh so lebron james leaving the lakers Do you know more about this than me? He said a two-year deal with the Golden State Warriors. But his son signed a long, or I think a two-year deal. How is his son doing as a basketball player? He's good. He's solid. He's not like a superstar, but he's fine.

And if you look at the Lakers now, it's all Europeans and white guys. Really? Yeah. How old is LeBron now? 41? Yep. Damn. Okay.

All righty. I've never seen New York the way that, like, when the Knicks won, that was crazy. It's ever seen any city. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there in Toronto and the Raptors one, too, and it was not even in the ballpark. There's been so many bad years for them. It's like in New York's a basketball city. It was such a deal.

It was a bummer to see, like, some of the New York citizens, like, stealing the trash cans and fucking things up. It's just like, yeah. You're going to have. have some of that, you know what I mean? I mean, I've seen, there's been riot something, like, you know, in Vancouver, I think they lost like a game seven and burned

the city down. Right. But in New York in general also is like a subway town, so other cities, it's like people drive into the city more. It was like New York was the perfect storm where it was just like a party like I've never seen before. On the street? Do you have any friends who are like, oh God,

the next one I'm going to fuck this city up? You're like, what? If they lost. If they lost, I guess. Turns some fucking cars. Oh, man, they fucking won. Let's go fuck some people up or fuck this city up. I'm like, what's wrong with you? Yeah, yeah, they won.

This is a losing riot. Why you said in the trash can on fire, man? We won. The woman who stole the trash can is the funniest one. Yeah, the DIY person. Yeah, yeah. She was like the JP Morgan, uh, D.I. And then she got some viral video of her trying to steal the next trash can.

And she heard body style, too, it's kind of like. Because it was like a special trashy. Did you say it's her body style? They made the description of calling her fat. She's an interesting body style. So she's stealing that trash can. She's obviously obese, but like even like the structure of her body was when she was walking away. Like a pair.

Why was she stealing the car? The hammock. It's very like. Yeah, because she wants a trash. Because the Knicks trash can. And you could have bought it online for like pretty cheap. I forgot what it was. But yeah, she got she lost a great job.

I love a mob. J.P. Morgan fired her. Yeah. Sure. I don't get how I do. even though I'm not on her side, I don't understand why you get fired for that. Because she just can't be doing that shit.

Maybe she was like on. She spilled trash everywhere, like an asshole and just walk away. That's the park that was the worst. That's not really kind of an asshole. But it's just shitty. Yeah. But maybe she was like on the bubble.

They were looking for really rid of her. They didn't try to get rid of that DIY department. She sucks. She fucking Rebecca stole that trash can. He's like, that's it. But the problem is then she sued. She'll win her loss.

Maybe. Like, you can't sue me because I did something else that's not to do with my work. Yeah, but personal conduct. Dude, this is suey country, man. Yeah. Yeah. Personal conduct. Wow.

Yeah, she lost a good John. It's my second favorite J.P. Morgan employee. And my first favorite is the woman whose employee was accusing her of forcing her to bang him. Yeah. She was a forcing him to bang her. How do you describe her titties? That's a thing. Rina.

That's his name. Yeah. Damn. Sook on these big knockers or stuff like that. She's like, I would never talk to him. There's a big guy from India. She also served as executive director of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Hmm, interesting.

Not a great job. DEI. Yeah, we have to let her go. What else you got, Jen? I don't think we touched on this here, so let me just pull it up. Yeah, so Chris Johnson revealed that he had ALS when he was 39. I look at her in events is two non-sports guys. Are they not?

These guys don't know. You have to relate it back to culture. I got some good videos. I mean, Chris Johnson, he was like, he ran legit 4-2 in the 40, he rushed for 2,000 yards, gets hit with ALS, now he can't speak or walk.

It's a nightmare. I know a couple guys that had that. Like overnight. The drummer of a band, Billy Talent, and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, just nightmare. Fuck, man. And there's nothing,

there's no cure, there's nothing. Yeah. There's nothing you do for it. Like, one of the greatest runbacks ever. And you just slowly degenerate? Yeah. You're talking about a complete freak of freak. He can't move.

And he has two little kids. That's a nightmare. He was a freak, man. Can't move. Where's AI unsolving that, you know? I feel like AI would people have a more positive vision on it if it starts solving some cancers. Yeah, they are solving some cancers.

And they're also using CRISPR Cas9 to solve sickle cell anemia. Have they solved it yet? Yeah. They've cured sickle cell anemia. I think if they got the word out where they go, look at all these cancers we're solving, people will start being like, all right. Look at poor Michael, man. This is a hard thing.

Let me watch this a little bit. Yeah, and what's crazy is like they use this technology where he's reading from a prompter and he's just using his eyes. And he can't. So he uses his voice too. So hold on. What? I'm still, ALS has changed what my body can do.

And it tells you what he's saying? Yeah. In 2025 at the age of 39, Johnson was diagnosed with ALS. What if he's not saying any of that? so rapidly that he now uses his eyes to trigger a speech-generating device to speak. You trust that technology? Yeah, you're just trapped. That sucks so good.

Isn't that terrible? Yeah. I mean, you're less trapped if that works, but you're more trapped if that doesn't work, whereas just making up stuff you're saying. Well, that was a thing. I think it was a Netflix doc where kids that communicated like that, I forget the exact thing, but it was basically saying like the, the lady who was, they had to,

because he could have to use his eyes, so the lady was typing the thing. And the lady was typing in like the kid, uh, I think he was a kid. I'd been a teenager, but was basically on the relationship with her. So she was like,

look, it's in the proof. It's in, look what he's typing. And then the mom's like, dude, he can't, you're doing it for him.

Like, that's what he said, though, suck my big tits. And then I gave my big tits. Yeah, I think some people would say that's the, what's the deaf blind girl that's famous?

Helen Keller. Helen Keller. I think there was, argument to me made the same about her. Yeah. Because she's reading and writing now, is she? Yeah. I think so.

Also possible that none of this is true. If you had to choose between getting diagnosed the ALS or just swimming out into a river full of crocodile's, what would it be? Like you take your chances? Yeah. And if I get to the other side of my, what happens? I'm good. Yeah. But you're not going to get to be.

I'll probably swim with the crocs, take my chance on the dogs. You're not going to, though. You're going to die. Well. Yeah. I just go with the crox. go to the El Crocodillas. It's fine. Yeah, you have a chance.

Yeah, but I'm going crocodile. No, I don't want to be sitting in the body like that. No? The eye thing makes it a little better if it's real. I'm not sure I believe it. Yeah. And you're just hoping for like a scientific breakthrough? Imagine fighting with your chick with your eye thing.

I'm not doing this right now with you. Right. Man, that earthquake, 58,000 billions destroyed in Venezuela. Crazy,000 billions. Not 5,800. That just happened? Yeah. So many people died.

Fuck. There's so many sad stories. Oh, that's a good time. Anyway, it's getting heavy. Dude, right now in well, just kind of, I don't know if that's climate, but right now in London,

France, a few different places. They have these, like, crazy heat waves and they're basically, like, banned AC. Ban it because the electric? Well, they're like, it's bad for the environment. Oh. So they put people back to the Stone Age. And then people are dying of, like,

heat stroke and stuff like that. It's the craziest overreach of all time. So you have like entire countries where they have like these crazy regulations on AC. Like if you rent like an Airbnb in a lot of places, they're like

well we don't have AC because we kind of aren't allowed to really? Yeah, you don't know that? No, drive me. Right now, if you look it up like banned AC, it's kind of like a big story right now. Really? And AC? They're banning AC. They're banning 80s? For climate reasons.

That's annoying. And people are dying. And this happening like right now. These climate activists are a little, this, like, okay. Europe. I survive in news. You'll say, yeah. Of course, Europe and UK. Oh, in Europe.

So they're talking about maybe allowing like, you know. How did Europe let this fucking happen, man? Because they're crazy. It's run by bitches. It's called, it's called when you let the wrong people in power. And if you're not involved in politics, it comes to you. And how's Maldani do it out in New York? Have you seen much of change?

Have you noticed a difference? I was going to ask you that. well I mean he has not been in for that long like a lot of that stuff takes a while but I mean some of some of the stuff is just like the answer's obvious to what happens you're like okay well if you do this the rental go up like yeah I think the rent's kind of up a little bit but a lot of the stuff he's doing is going to take you know years to really like set in how it goes yeah but a lot I know I know people that have left definitely with money like there are people leaving for sure but I mean some of the what is the oldest

saying in the book, they go two ways to destroy a city, bombing and rent controls. Yeah. Yeah, but he is a dyed in the wool socialist. So, we're common. Here's the question, though. He, like, Mondami seems like a smart guy, and he's, uh... He's 33. He's good at politics.

He's smart. You know, he's obviously, like, an intelligent guy where you go... Someone like him is smart enough where he goes, well, I know, obviously if I, you know, stabilize, like, a crazy amount of rent. You go, that does have an effect on... the other end where it goes up a little bit. Like, he knows that. So does he, what does he think?

There has to be a plan. I think, I'm with you on there. Like, he, they have to know, it's, that's my thing with all these polters. Like, even Newsom's like, buddy, you know. You know what's up. Even if you know there's a homeless problem. Like, I guess they're giving you back in, but you know, like, eventually people like, buddy. Yeah, are you, are you lying or like, people like Mundani are, have been steeped in in a certain

educational framework where they haven't even seen the counter argument to socialism. So you're saying he believes it. He is a dynamoble believer in the idea that... Like even like, like, don't you think Newsom's privy to some of it? When they're like, buddy, it's not that. Clearly, it's not that. You know like you've ran Hollywood out of L.A. Like, you know that.

Come on. You got to give tax breaks. But they just, and he has smart people around them. But they would have to have some sort of idea. But you got it. You're talking about somebody who's never in their life, for example. His dad, I think, is an academic who was a communist economist, I think. But you've never come, I think, look that up.

But you're talking about somebody who's never, at 33, actually had to run a business. They've never really been involved in creating a profit. But doesn't he have people around him? No, no, no, because it breaks down to this. When you talk about the social Democrats, in their mind, as far as the world is concerned, a central authority is the one that has to engineer equality. and marketplaces and capitalism are the enemy because what they do is they push forward who the most aggressive and greedy in their mind not the most ingenuity people with ingenuity and

creativity and risk taking no it's when you are rich it means you got there by stealing wealth is theft it's how you frame things when you're taught that he does think that newsome doesn't there you go no so so mom damey's father was an academic of Marxist's professional of an African history at Columbia University. It's very important. It's very important. He grew up being instilled with the idea that the way you equalize is by seizing the means of production. That you don't have private property.

You don't have people owning their own businesses. But all that can be true. And he also knows if I put this crazy tax, some people are going to leave. I think you just kind of like you say, well, that's like a necessary component. But then you still have to lie about it. No, because in their mind, yes,

you'll have short-term pain. Yes, you'll get rid of all those evil millionaires and billionaires so that you can have the workers, the working class, who are the people that you hire to run your business. I think it's less of, I see what you're saying, but I feel like those guys,

it's like, they're not really skinny, like the working class isn't really like for that shit. No, they're not, but guess who voted Mamadani in? Guess who voted the three people? Yeah,

like, people are not from New York. It's the 10% of the population. that are white and educated. That's a fact. But the people are voting are not voting. That's right. They're not born and raised.

They're transient motherfuckers. They're there for a little bit. Then they leave. Same with California. Yeah. If you look at the people cheering on Mandani, it's usually chubby white chicks with, you know,

their master's degree in social community, community organization. But I'm waiting with Newsom, it's like came in, you know by doing all the taxing up the wazoo with the entertainment industry and taxing all these business doing the luxury tax,

you know they're all leaving. You know that if you make it harder to film eventually. I know, but in their mind, America is an oppressive regime. So no one's shooting here. And he's like, yeah. But America and the West. And you know that's bad. But America and the West in their mind is not the land of Shakespeare,

words worth, uh, capitalism, individualism and all. That's not taught. What's taught is that the United States and Britain and the West were colonizers only, genociders only. It's a look at that. Maybe Mondami, not Newsome, though. Not Newsome. I think being a man of the capitalists secretly.

But Newsom's one of the guys But he's also ambitious as fuck And being a man of the people To be honest Would be funner It's like that's the best of yourself I want to take his money And give it to you

You're like That's a bad That's an ambitious politician That's different Newsom actually is a businessman He owned what's it called Plum Jack Wine made a lot of money Newsom is steeped in the money

of Silicon Valley But even if you go to his approval Right like he said if you ran He had like a 10% approval like it's terrible. And it's like, you know the things aren't, like people aren't fucking with you, man.

You're just going to keep going down the same road. So he has to be getting paid, right? He has to be making money. That's like, look up. I'm doing it because I'm getting fucking paid.

I think he kind of even is, look up the two people that won the Democrat primary in Brooklyn. He was like, that's the way of the winning in Brooklyn. Yeah. I wish, I almost wish I could just be more of like a normal lib guy. Yeah.

It's so weird to me. Look up who Mamdani and just endorsed two far left, basically communist. Watch this. But I want to show you, I want to show you something. It's even like, who's the dude in Florida? I'm banning, I'm going to get rid of property tax.

And what? Oh, yeah, Republicans were getting wrecked by Mondami's squad. Like the dude in Florida's out here. I'm getting rid of property tax. I'm like, okay, that's awesome. Do you have a spot here and you don't pay property tax? No, awesome property tax. Oh, that's okay.

But Florida, you're saying. Yeah, but I'm saying Florida, when the guy does it, like, that's how you get votes, man. Like, we're going to, the cities, not that's how you used to get votes. Yeah. Now, not enough home. probably in like in New York.

Yeah, true. If you look at who he endorsed, Claire Valdez, go back, Claire Valdez, and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, oh, yeah. So see that, Darlazia, Avila Chevalier, okay?

She just got, she just won the Democratic primary in Brooklyn, okay? Look her up and take a look at what she, with the class she taught at Columbia. You probably hates white dudes, eh? Oh, dude. We're not a fan.

Dude, this is the best. This is the best. Right there. That chick. Pretty, by the way. She's very pretty. Hey, he's white. Did you have a white boyfriend?

Can you look up? Yeah, probably, by the way. But take a look at what she studied. She's an American community organizer. Okay. Wait, didn't she just went in Denver? No, she won in New York. She was nominated by Mom Dani.

And if you look at what she stands for, it's actually incredible. She's 32. Hold on. Go back up, please. Yeah. Should we see a bachelor's in Middle Eastern Studies? All good. Doctorate student.

in sociology. Sociology, always fucking, and always some weird... You always say psych and sosh with the girls that you go, what do you say? You're studying psych and sosh? Yeah. Yeah. That's the ultimate bullshit major. Now, am I attracted to her? Yes. Communications is even higher, yeah. Dude, my kid was like,

Dad, I'm going to college for communication. Like, hey, not, I'm not paying for that. I mean, that better be a full ride. Yeah, because you're doing sports. Study the way, go up. And I'm not saying go up, no, go up this way. Yeah. Communications. Studying the way black immigrants in Latin America are affected by the

US criminal justice system and deportation, student organization, students for justice. It's all a nightmare. This podcast's gone down a weird road and I've stopped listening. I can only imagine the rest of people. But the more story is Mondami has a squad. Either way, New York's crushing it. Yeah, either way, it's like America bad, everybody else,

all, everybody else good. Yeah. But you keep voting this way. We're going to turn it in the next fucking Europe or the UK. You know, I'm like less stressed out on that, like, level because I do think the fact that your states are all like countries, it's like, you can just move. You don't know what I mean? They can just leave.

They want to change this. But you're like, you can move. And by the way, in New York, you don't have to move that far. Jersey is 30 minutes. Right across the, but yeah, like you don't even have to move that far.

Like in New York City really, you just like, they pour it on so thick. You're just like, okay, I'm saving this much more money and I'm like, I live an extra four minutes

from a studio. It's like not even a big deal to move. And I feel like that that's like the good part where it's like, just get your shit out and go. I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah, you know, every time I look at this, not to be like just dismissive of the whole thing, because I understand that that is true and there is some of this stuff that's like such an eye roll, but like you look at the conversations that people were having in the 70s and you're like kind of the same thing. Yeah. And I think part of it, some of these other countries don't have like a like a mechanism to get back on track. Whereas America, you're just like, enough people move.

The next guy can like run on like enough of this. Yeah. Put a stop to it. Yeah. And you're right. It's damage gets done. Well, the main fight's going on is, yeah. Yeah, it doesn't matter, but what else you got, Jen?

Okay. Let's go. So I try to look into this as much as I could, but so Dave Portnoy just came out with a book. And apparently the call her daddy girls, Alice, Alex Cooper. Yeah. And Sophia Franklin, you know, they wanted to get out of the contract because they were going to make a ton of much, ton of more money outside of it. So they even thought up about doing a sexual harassment kind of loss against him to get out. Jesus.

But it never went through, obviously. How did they find this out? I think eventually Alice told Dave. Or in discovery or in some kind of a preliminary. But they never went through with it. So, I think it was just like a preliminary case where they were looking at that. That is crazy. Right.

Yeah. But like I said, I just. I would have worked too. Oh, yeah. Of course. That's like the number one thing girls can do. How about that Sophia Franklin? So they had that major show.

We had them on fighting the kid before they were big. Yeah. They had that major show. Oh, that's me and Santino. Yep. doing it because Brian was on set. But so that Sophia girl, she wanted more money. She, because she got some new boyfriend.

He's like, you deserve more, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, you got to pay more. I quit. So that Cooper girl was like, cool, I'll do it on my own. And then literally the next week left and got paid like 60 million from Spotify. Yeah. It was like, and you get nothing dumbass. Reverse Yoko Ono.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Many such cases, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Look at that's so fucked out, though, that you would do that. It is funny that. it's so many businesses like podcasts this happens in

if you listen to crime shows it's like always like the spouse screwed them like the amount of you know the amount of people that lived did everything the right way but then the partner you picked screws you dude but look at the comments

a plan to say doesn't mean it didn't happen okay but I mean like how fucked up is this like that she admitted that but that's the world we live and by the way tell me about it because they know that's the threat Portnoy did get Me Too's and he skirted right through them.

Like he probably, if you remember. But his Me Too, remember that the girl was saying like those videos and his kink and stuff like that? It's like, I mean. But Portnoy's, he was just doing front facing camera videos being like, fuck this is a stupid. And he owns the company so he can't get fired. Anybody else who's been fired? Yeah.

But also his fan base kind of like, yeah, of course he's fucking girls and wearing a fucking collar tie. Right. Like that his fan base is like, all right. So I kind of take back my comment a little bit. Yeah. And that this might not have been the, the death blow they thought. No. Yeah, all the comments are, uh, and that's a dude.

Doesn't mean they weren't actually harassed. 200 likes on that, by the bill. You can't be in my club. I'm sure in that environment, they're like making jokes, but actual harassment, I doubt. Like, but you know jokes. Like, you know, when a bunch of dudes are together, there's a way. Wait, she said she was planning on, on, on, on, to say they were sexualized to get out of a bar. to a contract. That's what she said.

That's what she said. The discovery was her own box. Yeah. So it's like she's admitting that there that was a cooked up scheme. So it's Dave point of his book. That's Dave saying that. So Alex, she said that to him. Yeah. So they must have some discussion. They haven't never said anything.

Okay. That was the end up saying. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. You guys could research it way further. I'm sure there's a lot to them. But yeah. It's interesting. all like her and Alex are so rich now it's like all right you worked out for her she's got quite the scandals too because Alex so Alex Cooper has like a girl boss company but her husband is like involved and the people at the girl boss

company are kind of like complaining that they have to work too hard and they're like he the husband comes in and like yells at women which is so fun like so such a funny image it all comes around it all becomes a snake eating its own tail girl boss is hard to run a sword die by the sword you know well yeah you go you're you're kind of like, you know, everyone's going to work here. It's going to be like the best environment. And then at some point you're like, you do have to work hard.

And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And people suck because they don't work hard. Sometimes they have to be as a boss. You have to be like, can you get that done? And Alex is a savage. Not very girl power of you to yell at me. Yeah. Anytime you're trying to run a company, this is where I sympathize with her husband or her.

If you're running a company, you've got to be a dick sometimes. I do. And I do. And Alex is a beast. Yeah. But I go the, but on the same side, you can't have your cake and eat it too. where in her scenario you're right you know what I mean

if you want to say hey we're just a normal company but if you want to say hey we're the company where everyone takes as much time as they get off and now you're mad when they take time off you know I signed up because you said I could chill do you know what I'm still surprised by but not surprised by as I'm I've been in this business forever and maybe I'm just older and living

is how many people who are really successful are willing to do whatever it takes to keep successful or get successful. Like there are people that... I mean like actors with directors? People that just do shit that'll just they'll lie and make up shit. They'll do whatever it is.

And you're like, man, to their own friends, you're like, what? Why do you think that as? I think because they are shitheads and they have... They do whatever it takes. And they think to themselves, this is the juice is worth to squeeze that I'm going to be successful I want to be really rich

and nothing without this and if I have to compromise if I have to be a bad person for it then that's fine if I have to lie I will if I have to fuck somebody over I will but you'll even see like people go bad on Rogan or even when I was doing stand-up like friends of ours would like make clips talking shit about me it never hurt my feelings so I was like I get it I get it man it's the trendy thing like you're getting views doing i get it you know but like even the guys do like now like rogan gave them a huge platform and then they go on their podcast and go bad on me to get the views i'm like man i don't get that like why would like man i don't get i don't understand that i think it's like it's like a different mentality where you convince yourself you're like no that's the game i'm

like in the everyone makes fun of everyone game and it's not real but like i don't know i came up too much like before that that it just feels weird yeah me too no no you came up no you came up with different values your parents came up to get parents raised you raised you to to know the difference in what you what's right and wrong there are certain things that are just wrong and you're like a real we can always do this up and they're like these no some things are just fucking shitty and wrong and there's a lot of people that do it oh is this someone to climb the top of the empire state building yeah i guess they're live streaming i just saw that recently but i didn't really look into when the blank love beats the love of power the world knows peace that's good

when the power of love beats the love of power. That's good. World knows peace. That's a good. It's a good Christian message right there. And that's going to... Are you Christian? I think everything about it.

I wish I'd come to it earlier. I'll just say that. I think everything about it, it makes total sense and it's true. Take with that with you. And I go to church every Sunday now. Oh. You're Christian.

Give me a Jordan Peterson answer. Hey, man. Answer a goddamn question. Yeah. That's the Jordan Peters and answer. Like, let's just say, I'm not going to say yes or no, but I do go to church and I read the Bible every night. I do donate. Instead of all the reading all the fucking.

Instead of reading all the philosophy, I should have been reading the Bible. Let's put it in and go on a church. Do you eat the body of Christ? What's that? Do you eat the body of Christ? I don't. I grew up Catholic. That's the cracker, right?

Yeah. Right now I go to Red Rocks, which is a, yeah. I'm around to go for, uh, was that church for something? There's a fat lady getting the body of Christ and I was crying. And me and my brother goes, ladies, going for seconds. I remember thinking that's the funniest thing. Seconds upon your credit. Catholic Church was always like real formal and not fun.

Might if I have another? Anyone, everyone else? You might if you add to you didn't? No? Yeah. That's true. You're able to top that off for me? Top that off.

Top that way for off. Go ahead. You might have a little, a little, a little of wine. I'm fucking starving. I'm fucking starving. I have some of that sherry wine. it's so funny I'd be starving in church

and they'd give me a wave for I was like, Jesus, this is good I didn't eat lunch on Body of Christ Body of Christ I brought my own hot sauce I've ranching Did you go up wrong

Did you grow up on a church? No I grew up like no I don't even know religious people I guess my grandma Me too My family was just like We were baptized

And that was it I mean I feel like People were more religious Back in the day Yeah Yeah But it's becoming like a trend now. It's popping off again, dude.

America's always had these like waves of religious revivalism. So is Europe actually. It does feel like when I see people that are religious, I'd be like it does seem like I wish I could do that. Same. I just don't believe it. Yeah, I used to say the same thing. Then I got in, I got that, went down the rabbit hole. And I got a pastor that I go to this church in Red Rocks and the shit he says is like they make so much sense where you're like, well, that's advice to live by.

and so a lot of it's just that a lot of it's a lot of the answers are there so you know whether you're not well Jesus rose from the dead go ahead you can go into that but you can also just kind of follow the tenets and you'll probably stay out of trouble

but you could have that yeah I guess you could have the tenants anyway right yeah that's what I would say the actual like if you were to behave accordingly you're not going to go wrong yeah yeah I remember I used to be jealous if they got when I was fighting we'd be in the back

we were about to fucking fight The guys that were praying to God and they actually believe, I'm like, God, that's such an advantage. I'm so jealous. Like a van to Holyfield singing the songs. You got God on your side. Yeah, I'm like, I'm going to pray here. I know I don't do it often, Bob, but if you're up there, if I could do some help right. Yeah, suddenly you're like late caller.

Hey, I don't know if you're still around, but. Hey, a little late to the party, but I saw him doing it. Do you mind if I jump on this? Yeah. At the very least, keep it even. Remembering his hand or Holyfield. I don't go there. When he fought Tyson was singing the Psalms, and I remember going, damn, I wish I could believe on that level.

Yeah, but I remember some of the fighters, like, you're like, man, how do you think you're new? Like, up to God, man. It's his hands, I'm like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, it does take a load off. Yeah, I'm like, God, it must feel good. You're fighting with God in your corner? I know. It's up to the big man upstairs.

I'm just going to go out there. Tebow's that way, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And he really worked out for him. Yeah. No, that would be a better existence, probably. Yeah.

Yeah. Seem happier. My wife's that way. My wife is, my wife is. She grew up in the church. My wife, it doesn't matter what's going on. She'll look at you and go, maybe it's not your problem to solve. I'm like, holy shit, man.

I've never seen anybody more brave, keeps a smile on no matter what's going on. She just chocks up to God. She's incredible, but she's just also brave. She's just somebody who's no matter what's going on, she'll look at the bright side of it. And I'm just like, God, damn. Well, she's a positive person. Does she chalk it up to Jesus, though? It's Jesus.

It's her. She grew up in the church. So for her, there are a lot of things. in life that are supposed to happen to you. Like, for her, it's like, this is your, this is your book. This is your chapter. This is your chapter. So are you going to turn it into a good thing?

Are you going to be a bitch? Are you going to cry about it? Are you going to let it defeat you? Are you going to let it raise you up? That's a pretty cool framework to have it. So it's like kind of a, you always feel like you're in a movie. Look, you can make a choice in life. It's a long, dark chapter, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When's this? May I may not. Why am I being punched? stole that. Right. May not, right? But there's a reason for it. Why is my chapter a horror story? Yeah. Yeah, God's screwing. That's your chapter. That's your chapter. I know you keep saying that, but it's not helping. That feels like if I, there's definitely some girls I dated where they wouldn't like that advice. You know, everything's gone bad, my friend. This is your chapter. No, no, no,

but Christianity doesn't say, doesn't say you just let it go. It doesn't mean you don't mean you don't work your ass off and try to get the hell out of it. It doesn't mean that. Yeah. So, so the idea behind Christianity? One of the biggest things about Christianity is they always say it's a fighting religion. So you're in Satan's playground and you're a saboteur. So your job is to be the one who fights again. Even if it's an impossible fight, you never stop fighting. And that could mean, by the way, that you have to get physical.

So there's room for that shit in Christianity. It's not like, well, I'll just let God. No, no, no, no, no. You take action. Like, that's why prudence, like, that's why sloth. being lazy is one of the deadly sins. So, and prudence, like, being smart and shrewd about how you move through life is really important. It's one of the, what is it, Christian virtues.

What is the virtues? And that's why we're inviting you to Bible State tonight at six and off. That's it. That's it, kids. I went, when I was in college, I went to a Gulf University and I had a friend that was super religious that no one knew. And then he asked me, he goes, you want to go to dinner? And he kept, like, bullying me. Like, for some weird reason was like pushing to come to dinner.

And then at his place. And I eventually did, he drove me like 45 minutes to his youth pastor's house who lived there and like sat and then I went in and then he was giving like a sermon and we sat and then they went around and everyone would read Bible verses or something. Like he like was trying to convert me. Yeah. But like never told me that until we got there. Yeah, man.

So conversion, conversion to me has always been a weird thing. But there are certain logical things like this pastor was talking about marriage and kids, right? And he goes, look, man, I got three kids and I'm married. Hey, if you're single out there, I'm not telling you that, like, having three kids and a wife, you're going to not have as much money and not have as much time. And on paper, I can't make a case for it. Now, do I think you'll be happier in the end? I do.

Is it going to be a lot of work, less sleep, less money, all that stuff? Yeah. More worried. Yeah, it was great. He went through it, but he goes, we live in a time now, if you're godless, where it's like, I'm going to get in this relationship because that person is going to make my life better. that's never been the case in life. The idea would be we're going to compromise together.

They're going to be sacrifices, but we're going to be better people as a result of this union. And that's a weird little detail. I don't just the pastors, you know, they're in like yeasies and stuff. Yeah. With good hair.

The Bieber pastors. Yeah. Then you find out somebody's pregnant. They're not their wife. I've been with that guy. Yeah. Oh, you know that guy? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I do love that his pastor's. I used to go to his Bible study all the time. He got in some trouble them, right? Really? He got some trouble. He's actually a good dude. And we went, I didn't go bat him, but we were like making fun of him when he got busted.

And then I was at the montage in Newport shooting something. And it was like, we must went kind of bad on him like three weeks before. He saw me. He's like, what's up, man? I was like, what's up, brother? How are you? You know, may the Lord be with you or whatever. And he was like, yeah, yeah, I saw the podcast, man.

He's like, just want to let you know. Like, I get it. And I was like, oh, fuck. Were you chirping him? Probably making fun of me. He was that. Because he's in Yeezys and his hair and shit. He was the pastor who got caught.

Yeah, what does he care about that? He was cool. He was the pastor who got caught messing around. Yeah. He's good now, though. I'm sure he is. Like I wasn't,

I hope I wasn't, I hope he weren't too hard on him because it's like. We're being silly though. Yeah. But I used to attend his thing every Wednesday in Beverly Hills. That's a tough one. I would hate to run a ride. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy.

Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Hey, I do like that your pastor's leveling with you when you're getting married. and he's like, listen, yes, it sucks. I can lie to him. Carl Lassel. Isn't that funny? Turmoil.

That's the guy. I've had sex in seven weeks. There's a lot of this. No, Carl Lentz is actually a really good dude. I'm sure he is. I'm sure he's a great guy. Yeah. He just got caught.

He was doing his thing. He's a human being. He's flawed. The other great thing about Christianity is you're allowed to be flawed. But do you see the, go back to you would? No, go down. Go down. You see him in the leather jacket.

Like when he's talking about the voice of God, He's just like that. It's a little vein, a little vein. But I was like, all right, he's kind of lit, all right? But it's a little vein. And then he jumps into, you know, also those shorts. I guess you could make, you can kind of make the argument for anything because he goes, well, yeah, because I'm cool and I'm so sick, it's making more people want to be Christian.

So actually, there's a godly purpose to. But also, if you're my friend, I'm going to go, hey, dude, I'm going to, you better stop shaving everything up and pull your pants up because you can wear your shorts that low. You're trying to get chicks. You're trying to get, you're trying to be a rock star. That's right. And you're like, what? This little thing, that that would bother me.

I'm going to make fun of you for that. A lot of money to be made in God. You got your awesome. I mean, he's a good-looking guy. You got your fucking. I'm jealous because I can't have cornrows, but I'm still going to make funny. He's a super nice guy, though. I'm sure.

I'll tell you what, if he was black, you wouldn't bad nigh, because all the black pastors are hip. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Facts. At the end of the day, again, like, you're allowed to be, you're allowed to be flawed. You're going to fuck up. Christianity is there to catch you when you fall. Convenient.

You're not trying to be. be perfect because it doesn't exist. You're, you're, you're a flawed creature. The one of the cool things about that is that you can go to church and be like, I'm an asshole. I'm a piece of shit, but I'm trying to get better. And that's, that's the idea. Nobody's asking you to be perfect. Yeah. It's also a learning thing too, because we think of pastors, you don't think of that, you know, but there's a lot of them now. When I see a guy, like, what's up, baby? Like, I mean, when I see a guy who's that vain, I tend to go, what's up, baby? What's up, baby? What's So, baby, how we live?

And you're like, all right, man. Take it himself, honey. You know what I'm saying? You're like, take it easy. Did you be a little more professional? What's up, player? He sounds like he fell in love with the fame, and he got corrupted by it. And that battle happened.

And he was crushing tail? Yeah, he got famous, and all of a sudden girls loved him. And he was like, well, I mean, I was like, I probably did okay with the chicks before, though. Yeah. He looks so different with long hair. Yeah, but he didn't let go. Just a, but I think a really nice guy. Sure.

sure you know what he's super nice i've never had any bad interactions with him and you know just so is there a difference seen nice and good right see i don't think he's a bad guy because he slept with someone outside of marriage i don't you don't you know i have no judgment but it but the thing is when you're a pastor and you do it um that's when you're gonna have issues well he just got he got checked he got chin checked by his people don't like hypocrite god whoever you want yeah i think i think that's what it is like you can blame it on the devil you go What am I supposed? The devil. You're not at the wrong guy.

There are a lot of people to go bad on before you go bad on this guy. He's probably a great guy. Oh, there's definitely worse people on this earth than that guy. He's not going to help people. Look, he's a great looking guy. And then outside of the church is getting his dick sucked on the side. It's like there's definitely worse people in the world. He was probably crushing it before that with the ladies.

He's a good looking guy. He gets married. I don't think that's why if he's not preaching the word of the Lord. Yeah. That's the problem. Yeah. And he got swayed. The devil swayed him.

Yeah, yeah. He'll said, hey, come dip your toe in this pool over here. This pool has double-d tits. It's like, I get it, dude. We get it. I get it. I'm not going to excommunicate him. I'm going to work with you.

We'll work with you. I'm probably going to hug him and be like, brother. I'm flawed like you, my man. We all are. I'm just not preaching the word of God. Yeah, that's right. Ryan Long live. Dude, you're doing the Wilburne.

Denver Comedy Works. Two of my faves. I'm doing my special, uh, the July 23rd of Denver Comedy Works. If anyone's in Denver, yeah, that's my special. That's the best I'll ever be. I'm from there. You're from Denver? I'm from Denver.

Commonworks, yeah. It's kind of a cool place to be from. Yeah, it's not best. Cool city. Yeah. Because it's kind of a, it's like a real city without, but also still like you can be a kid and it's not just like, it's not totally an adult city. Yeah, it's cool. What's comedy at the car?

My mom's going to listen to this. I guarantee she's going to want to come to the show. Dude, yeah. I mean, sick. Yeah, let me know if you want me and your mom could do dinner potentially first. I have her, you know what, I have her number. No, I know she reached out to me already, man. I got a number.

She's coming to the 9 p.m. show. But yeah, that's what I'm doing my special. And then Rochester, I just, we added, they're doing a little festival, but we had another day because it's a weekend before I'm recording. Yeah, that would be coming. That'd be sick, yeah. Albuquerque, nice, brother. You're all over.

It's Ryan Longcombe.com. Kitchener, I'm doing, Ontario. I'm doing a place that's way too big. It's all right. The center at the square. It's a big boy? 2000. Oh, you're on the road with Trevor Wallace?

No, you guys know the great outdoor comedy festival. It's like this, you know it, right? It's like a huge comedy festival in Canada. So it's kind of like a festival. But I'm doing the night with him. Oh, cool. Yeah. But then around that, I'm doing Kitchen at Monkton.

Nashville. You're all over, brother. Where are you going to be, B? I'll be at Magoobie's in Lutherville, Maryland, July 17 and 18. Coast of California, Westwood Coast. I'll be July 26th. And then Dural, Florida, August 28th and 30th. Dude, I'll be out in Orange County, L.A.

The same week. Seriously? Yeah, I got a shoot out there. Nice. All right, kids, that's it. That's Ryan Long. This is the fine kid. We're out. Welcome to Pluto foe.

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I feel targeted by that pet cemetery. I was about to say, well, wasn't that you? That was me. Yeah.