The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 683: David Lucas

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

Comedian David Lucas joins the show and the guys talk David video chatting with his haters, tense encounter with Michael Bisping, beef with Michael Rapaport, Comedy Central's Roast Me, holding his pee before getting on stage and much more. Also, the guys play an all new game of Rate My State!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode of Fire in the Kids with David Lucas and Chappelle lace out Lacey's is brought to you by on it It's their semi annual sale popping right now alpha brain shroom tech protein powder work out here Everything you need to keep your thick gas in shape on it got you covered go to on it.com Slash fighter 10% off their entire damn site the best sublints on planet earth is brought to you by on it and they have one hell of a sale for you right now. It's a semi annual yearly sale is going on right now. It's their biggest sale of the year. Go check them out on it.com size fighter.

Temperson off, it a thing. Good luck. I mean, if you race is up to you. That's up to you, yeah. I always say, tell me that's how you're discretion. I'm gonna be in the South, bro. I don't mind races. That's it. They put it all on the table. Whatever that is. Yeah, I was hoping that's that your discretion I'm gonna solve right on my races They put it all on the table

Yeah What do you tell me goes man, I'll use the N word Unless you do His stories too man, how used to live Not maybe not in the backyard, but they can join the fence up right into David Duke. He'll either be KKK. He's like, I don't even know, man,

it's working out with this guy. He kept throwing this race and shit all the time. Oh, he's the guy. He's the guy. Wait, he created it or was just a leader? Well, you know, it's old as fuck, but he was like, he's like the leader now. The leader.

No, he's still killing it. Yeah, he was like featuring for them. I don't know how to mean killing it, but like, you can't say. No, no, he is killing it, but he was like the feature for the KKK. Now he's the main guy. They go by weird things like grand wizard, cyclops,

and all that stuff. You know, like some dumb shit. I tell you know that shit's old wizard some done that shit old Wizard yeah wizard what Damn now you a you a grand with you grand Wizard I don't know about your fucking wizard magical power We roll it. Oh, we are doing we are rolling. Oh, we're rolling. Oh, she's on now you smell nice man. I know right. Yeah, you roll here So I mix colognes because like I'm an abstract person so the first layer is Chanel blue Oh, damn and the second layer is Tom for an umbrella. I've never heard of anyone doing that. Yeah, mixing the two It smells like like you like if you like mix your spices. Yeah. Mixing the two, it sounds fucking good. Like, if you, like, mix in spices.

Yeah, like, if you're so delicious, don't you? Yeah, yeah. That's what Brindish is trying to get ahead. You know, you can take that how you want. Yeah. If you know sins, you know how to like, you can mix like a sweet scent with a spicy scent. Yeah.

You get a nice, you get that nice. Yeah, you get that nice. You get that too much sweet, it's just over every woman. Ah. And you smell like Armenians. It's male gay. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's just over Like Armenians male gay They smell good they look good Right, they try the best there's a guy in my building with the new what is it the Maybach SUV? Oh those real

Yeah, Mercedes-Benz. Why are you living in a part-biz? Yeah. Your car is like flexin'. Flexin'. Probably bad at business. You know, if you live in a bad studio, Gays are good at business, man.

Yeah, but you know how much dick he's gettin' on there, but he had to be on with some dick that man's gettin' that thing. That thing's sick. Yeah, man. What's all the way? Yeah, I'm right across from the comedy store. Oh, really? I didn't know that.

I was in the valley. I was expensive though. I mean, caught a good COVID deal. They be smart. I mean, come on a little bit. A little bit. Because you split time between L.A. and Austin? I want to certainly say I split time between LA and Austin? Um, I want to certainly say I split time.

Like I befriended a doctor in Austin who made it easier for me to be there. Like I would much rather prefer, you know, like being a lay because like I got two kids here. But I befriended a doctor. He was like, Hey, you can give me whatever for this room. He got a high rise. Oh damn. And downtown. And he just, he just fucks with you.

Yeah, bro. Like he just became a real big fan. He was like, bro since I started, you know, comedy or comedy shows, more clients coming cause I'll shout them out like in my shows. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of doctors? He's a chiropractor.

Oh, right. There you go. So we're loose on the term doctor round. Right, you said I'm a doctor. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking like, you're kind of a real doctor. I was thinking so, you're kind of a real doctor. Yeah, right? That dude took a two-in-class About a crack back. Yeah, I got a lot of strippers coming to him now

Oh, I'm really I'd be like he can help your arch like you know what I'm saying He says he's fine girls coming right cracking their bag listen Yeah, I said there's one stripper to him that had an accident and she gonna get back like 60 K. Dang she fell off the polar sum. No, somebody are really into her. Oh, and they weren't having sex. It was on a car. Oh Got it. Okay. I was like damn it that bad. Yeah, we're in it. Yeah, she got hit she was dumb because she was just complaining about her back I'm like what happened she was like somebody hit me the other day. I'm like girl. You need to because you just complain about her back. I'm like, what happened? She was like, somebody hit me the other day.

I'm like, are you the, they call Frank A's? I'm a Frank A. They're called the Bulldog. She had a Bulldog. Yeah, that's not a general. Well, out in California, it's the general, but I think that's insurance, right?

Generals. Oh, I thought it was insurance. In Colorado, it's Frank A's or the Bulldog, two different dudes. And my grandma, Reston Peece, when we went in eight, I was a kid. We were at Tony Romeo's the rib place. And they're doing construction on the carpet.

And the carpet just kind of slid up just a little and she was old as fuck. And she was like, I use the bathroom. She always stole the knives from Tony Romo's. So she put them in her purse. But then she's like, yeah, she loved it. I was like, I saved it.

Yeah, my day was crazy. So she was walking the bathroom, fell on the carpet, broke her hip. And I was a kid, I didn't think of it. Doc, she called up that Frank A's art, the bulldog, dude, they got her pants. Hey, it's bigger, it's bigger. Is he still around?

I think he passed away. Oh, damn, shout out to the whole dog. He got my grandma money. That's a plug out here. Like I know people like that do that for a living, brother. Like go to a job and work it for like six months and then have accident They'll slip and fall no because you they gonna pay you What is it the when you're off from work on appointment? Yeah, whatever that is all the job the disability

The disability yeah, so you get that for like a year and then in a year your case settle you get a check for like 45 degree What a hustle right There's no reason for anybody to be broken. Yeah, we can't slip and fall in comedy Well, but that's what you can yeah, you can what you call a guy a million George Wallace for what from the From the place he had a residence. Oh the in Vegas The stays like he took their fellow you can have wrist like Cert like insurance. We're like let's say I got a crack that I can't talk anymore Then they have to cover like since I can't work. I can't speak anymore. They pay you out

It's kind of expensive. Oh, it's expensive for that shit insurance. It's not bad, but I don't know if you need it So you chilling out here right now like you will you out here for a bit? Yeah, I might have four minutes Let me see next week. I gotta do like a week long in Vegas. I don't really know what's in there. Oh, it's a laugh factory? No, I'm at the LA comedy club at Australia. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. I don't really, I'm not a big fan of Vegas.

Mean he the, I'm just not a big, I'm just not a Vegas dude. No, I'm not a Vegas guy man. Like there's places everyone was moving to, and I start looking at proper in Vegas. I'm like, I don't know if I can do it. I mean, I'm like living on the fucking strip like a psycho right kids But just when you look outside of that it's so fucking hot, man It's so hot and it's a do a week long shows like

Damn, and you have to stay in the stratosphere. Are you being disciplined? You have to stay there. It's like work really Disappointed you have to stay there. It's like worth really Before you stay the stress The police is a fucking shit I sleep with no girls at a stratus No, they got that hot pocket No girl you can stop by that once but once once that's about the bunny room or whatever. The bunny ranch. Bunny ranch. That's about an hour and a half.

I know where Lamar Oda passed by that. Say less. That's where Lamar Oda did his thing. Yeah. He was there for a week though, and they have like a bungalow or like a VIP room. Yeah. He was in there just doing all the drugs and had just unlimited girls coming in. That's that damn Bowsarium stuff. Yeah Their Bowsarium did the same thing like I do at the bunny rant. No, but he was just as like a general skin and like

Snowboard and like stand up for like four days and banging chicks. That's drugs. Okay Yeah, but then he made all this yeah, he got fucked up But he did he's in a little bit of trouble. I guess then this is all rumors on the internet But there's all these videos dedicated to it because he invested like a ton of his money in this CBD like V8 thing and then went belly up and I guess like now. Notice you don't see him posted with hose And he had posted or that cancel closure came out and he's like, oh shit. I'm good. I Don't think it's a money. He probably chill man. He probably just whiter. I read about him the first time I ever heard about Dan Bizzarian, I was in Vegas and I was chillin' with this chick. And then she got a call and she was like, I gotta go, where are you going?

I gotta go meet daddy. Who the fuck is daddy? Daddy. I thought I was daddy. She must've been bad. She was bad. She's doing the Brazilian or Dan Bizzan. She was a mixed chick and

Daddy, but you have to say daddy. Yeah, I'm going to meet Dan. Right. And I'm like this respect because you know, Yeah, so I figured he must have been a million that didn't like this. She told me with damn buzzer. I was like, okay. Yeah, I get it. Kind of got to take the L on now. See his last post. That's from Christmas stuff. Yeah, he posted it. I mean, that was. Oh, shit. Isn't the fool like a serial gambler? Yeah, well the thing is, he grew up super rich.

Like his dad was a jigillionaire and then gave him money. And then he went around like all the gambling tables. Like, oh no, I made my money gambling. But that's like someone being like on the headliner and they show up at the store and like, don't we? Nobody knows. Nobody knows what tours you've been doing. So that's what happened to him. And he's like, you didn't make your money doing this.

I guess you won like just called it out. Yeah, then he said he was a Navy seal. He got really Navy seals. We're like, we don't remember him. But and then he was like, yeah, because I broke both my legs, but I still made it through it. No, then real Navy seals like, I don't think so, dog. So it's just, it's time. Yeah, it's time. I. And then real name seals, like I don't think so, dog. So it's just, it's time. Yeah, it's time. But I think, because you went on Rogan, obviously people, you know, a lot of people hate him,

a lot of people love him, 36 million followers. So it's like, a lot of people fuck with him because he's also been living this crazy lifestyle. And you don't know, like his personality, you know what I mean on Rogan, I thought, like it did him justice. Like if you did like a weekly podcast, I think it would help him out.

Yeah. Not like Logan Paul, like you see him on YouTube, like when he was really young, you did like a weekly podcast thing it would help them out Yeah, like Logan Paul like you see him on YouTube like when he was really young like this ass clown Yeah, then when you hear him talk you like oh damn he's actually a decent person. Yeah, sometimes you just got to hear mother fuck talk true And then it obviously dancers flexing all the time it's firing. Yeah, it's in shit as girls like sucking on machine guns and shit Deep- throating grenades and shit Yeah, I can mind girls suck this grenade You're like hell, though. My name make it be crazy hell yeah, man. It kind of be scaring me sometimes really like as I'm pretty good though. Yeah, the decent like but as I climb you know It's like man like my request get weirder and weirder. Hell you have to get weirder.

I was telling Rogan, I was talking to this one, I was telling him, I was like yeah, David Lucas is just spelling out, I was gonna go on the road and he's like, now that's a fucking show, man. He's like David a monster. Like yeah, Doug. He fucks with you. Yeah, big time. Everyone fucks with you.

Yeah, that's with man. I mean, you know, I got a solid rep. I mean, people don't mess with me, it's like, that's on them. Yeah, it's like a full. That's how I am. Like I'm such a nice guy. If you don't mess with me. It's like, that's on them. Yeah, it's like, it's on them. That's how I am. Like, I'm such a nice guy. If you don't fuck with me, that's some insecurity you have, man.

But you know what I realized, bro? Like, reading comments of like before. You read comments? You're used to. I used to. But I get it. My producer keeps me in the loop about a lot of stuff.

Yeah, that makes sense. So he was like telling me about something, somebody said. And so the thing that I noticed, I've noticed is that it seems like the internet can smell a little bit of alpha male energy on somebody and start hating them. That's what I feel. Well, yeah, because a bunch of beta.

Right, a lot of it, like the lot of beta's are hating. So it's been like, you're out here doing the damn thing. Like, man, why the fuck is he doing that thing? He's like, well, he's very talented and works very hard and you did it remember you gave up now Did you used to go hard in the comments because you you can go hard on I just think you go hard on some people Let's take a little pause here from chatting with my boy David Lucas and Laces out Chappelle Lacey because man far far too long Wall Street has neglected that average investor. We talk about you.

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And this podcast with David Lucas is sponsored by BetterHelp. And the finally get listeners get temps off their first month at betterhelp.com slash fighter. That's better help. BETTR help help.com slash fighter. When I first got on kill Tony and I started getting like these weird keyboard warrior fans, you know what I'm saying? Trying to fire back at you. Yeah, bro.

I would literally like go today messages and video chat. I video chat it's several. Oh, really? And just like, just like, Oh, I'd be like, bro, like they give me, ain't like, let us say some crazy like, bro, I'm working the night at a comedy store.

Pull up. Oh, you're talking on that level. Yeah, bro. You talking real tough. So for those of you that don't know, you Christian Chincat, like David's like the main roast around Killtony. Like, when people get lit up, it's hands.

Yeah, it's him like people the fuck up. Him, his up, it's hand. It's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand,

it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, hand, it's hand, it's hand, hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, it's hand, hand, hand, it's hand, it's hand, it It's like man fuck you that's what you know you gotta I thought you're like oh yeah I saw what you did to that girl the other day

I was supposed to be interested in the haggler in Austin Yeah bro I was at the sunset room and I said one of my jokes And she was like you're a massage artist that you hate women And then she stood up and she's like I have a baby And I was like bitch I don't give a fuck What was she thinking? I don't give a fuck. What was she talking? I don't know. He was like, he was lying down there.

And she wouldn't stop. And then her friend was like, hey, you got to tell her to stop. The friends like, please don't do that. Do you know what you're dealing with? You're poking that dragon. It's like man, like, I don't know. That's what's funny about me.

We don't realize like we do this. You know what I mean? Yeah, and what you said isn't the first time we've heard it. So I have some shit in the chamber, that's it. Yeah, you think someone hasn't said misogynistic to you while you're on stage, like you haven't heard it before? Any woman that deals with me knows how I am, and they're like, I'm taking with a grain of salt

because he's a comedian. Yeah, you just tell jokes, can you be, because at the same time- Let me see it, too. Right. Am I that?. No, you good you good. Don't touch me like that You working out now, man No I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch!

I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a damn bitch! I don't give a damn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a goddamn bitch! I don't give a damn bitch! I don't give a damn bitch! you was not shit to start with. Before living you got to live with me. Come on get out of the dark, I'm not in you.

I'm not trying to live with you, I'm not going anywhere. Because you're not being a pussy right? I'm making me believe you, I'm putting something to sit the fuck back. All right, you need that little pussy to back down. You are angry, drunk, pussy. I have to put it in. David, she's on so many hands. You can't dig in about how you're gonna go say. I was trying to continue to do this, and you said so.

See how you have to make me act? See how you have to make me act? If you're caught, then you have to say shit. What do you work at? She's like, don't say another apology. I'm just trying to say that was a good friend. Friends like, please. Before he heads my way.

Finally. Where do you work? I can do vibes over some bullshit. You're like a f**ker. You're in charge of Rose Coons. You're not a soldier, you're not a bitch. Oh That's no you had in January Oh That's what people don't realize about you like you come with this ammo you always had that It started

Ammo you've always had that So it started already or did it oh Wait, but really that was a chubby kid and like I would get really oh And so like you know my parents weren't doing well at first So we lived in the hood, but I went to a private school. Where's this at? In Georgia. All right. You know, so like I would get it. I would be straight at school, but I would get it when I came home. For a cook. Cause you were going to that private school. No, I would just get it because I'm a chubby kid. Oh, like, oh, cause you were in the hood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The private school. No one really. Nobody messed with it. But when you, but when you got home and like going around the hood, yeah, so I just

got tired of trying to fight people. Yeah and I saw that their words actually worked better than like beating somebody for sure So I just started like roast just like But also it's like like you do that. What's the roast show you do roast? I fucking like roast me. I love that show. I love that show But it's also like they're like those especially those kids like I'll see the fat comments in the joke like you've heard it All man. Yeah, you heard it all like if someone does something like or even on that row show it's like if there's any fat jokes like doggy no this is originally it's all been said before man that's why people call me like a good

counter puncher like on that show because like yeah that's bad jokes don't affect me no I come yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah there's someone made a whole compilation of your like all your roast Man from that from roast me dude. He man. I watch that watch like me too. I love it Who's the old head on there? Oh bookapoo. He's funny. He's funny. He's guy in the world Bro you said he's on a roll. He's on roast because it's like which ones he bookapoo the oldest dude He used to be bad bad He's always been funny, but he used to be too loaded on the show

You know what I'm saying then we started like not getting loaded Like loaded like drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh he be drunk. Yeah, dude. He got like they they light up new guys He doesn't stop and then there one guy tries to match his energy and won't let him talk and then he just wait Wait, so you let me talk now and get you Yeah, man, and then just book a poem K.A.P.O. any book a poem no Like P.O.O. Oh cup. Yeah There you go. He looks fun. Oh that dude. He's so fuck And the story about book a poem by like in the early 90s. He was signed to like Mac team

Oh really? He's a rapper. Rap his ass off. Really? Yeah, he can rap his ass off, man. He's and he just became a roaster. Yeah, yeah, he's man like So Monday night said the improv, you know, it's black. Yeah. Yeah, so bro, more better a more better Monday Yeah, I would kill Tony and my spot at the store and then go to more better bro We roast for literally like three four hours Each other outside outside like outside like we were also people coming out the door like So Poles hilarious. He's he's my favorite like in the world by far and then they had some new guy in there He started roasting the host and I was like this thinking and right and then boo was like nah man

Because you can't really Post right so and he started going in on him really so funny man Great crack Smith is another one Craig Smith. He comes from Craig Smith is like in terms of like fighting like he's one of them guys He's not gonna throw a lot of punches, but the punches he's gonna hurt. Oh my god But are any of them besides you like straight up comics or they're just uh Craig does comedy. Yeah, Brent does comedy CP. He's funny And I think Kevin stays does comedy yeah, but as far as like touring and doing the All doing touring no, I'm saying like a far to it. I'm probably the one

Yeah, got it because like I don't know what else Boo raps and Craig got like a lot of stuff. He doing on YouTube and stuff, but you worked your ass off I tried hustling. I tried you are hustling. You went out you went out to Austin. Just started running running your own show Did you go out there because kill Tony was like you were following that those guys? Yeah, so Tony, you know Tony I came from my birthday I was supposed to do some shows, but he ended up getting cold So I still had to fly to the hotel book So I went out there and you know, he's like, hey man, you know come out here. You know move out here

And I'm like, Tony, but in the day I got two kids and I was trying to get everybody move out I got two kids and I'll try to come out here twice a month But if I don't see the money, I can't just, like I'm doing good in LA. So I can't just like move everything I work for. And, you know, because we had a bad year, it's like in a relationship, you know, so it's like I'm not just gonna move all my eggs to Austin, like I'll come as needed.

But I'm not gonna move out there. And you love LA. I love LA, man. I've been here since I was 19, 30 now, bro. And I know Austin. Shit, I didn't know that. People love Austin. I love Austin too.

And obviously we have more homeless here in LA, but Austin homeless, damn. They're worse. They have cars. Yeah, you see how the brits got cars and shit. Yeah, they got a better end. The borderline shit. Yeah, cell phones.

They parked their bikes outside the tent. They got like real shit. They're real about a Vulcan bros. Mm-hmm. You look like Harlem. Like in the States. You know how, like if you see a movie, it's like, don't go down that alley.

In your life, you've never seen that alley, bro. Oh, this is that alley behind the Vulcan. Behind the volcano. Oh my god. Because right next to a homeless shelter, it's like the roughest shit you've ever seen. Yeah, it's real. Andest shit you've ever seen. Yeah, it's real.

And it's just packed with people out, outside. I saw some little white girl on a fucking bird. Just go down that line. Ha ha ha ha. She ain't making it out. Over under she gets raised. Ha ha ha ha ha. The bulls wear.

Maybe lit. And they're too lit for me on six street. Bro, I'll be telling people, I'm like, we party at LA, but Austin party's on a different level different. They get they get white girl ways. It's like New Orleans down there Yeah, yeah, that's exactly how it is Just out of there been a role man and wild Nourls is like that six three to one every night Have you performed in New Orleans? They don't really have a comedy

They just have that house of blues and there's a theater there. I was supposed to do it right before COVID hit. But I've done house of blues in New Orleans before. New Orleans is a weird comic down. Because they have to say they seem like they'd be like Mark Norman's out of there fucking Theo. They have some legit comics. But as far as like there's no like scene there.

Yeah, because there's some beast that come out of there but there's nothing really popping. Oh shit. I don't seen that. Yeah, because there's some beast that could like come out of there, but there's nothing really popping. Oh shit. Yeah, I don't know that. Yeah. Wow. But yeah, I don't know. Like every time we'd walk out every night on six. Sure. You're here for you. We were ahead to leave the bar. I left with you. Yeah. Yeah. I was wearing this bar and I knew she'd be like, this can't be. I feel drink. I'm seven years. Seven years away from alcohol. I had a drink to be around that many people, bro. Oh, you do?

I don't drink before I go on stage when I get off stage. And I know I got in there, but people I got to get in there. See, I see where the opposite. I drink before I go on stage. It makes me feel way looser. And I don't drink off stage at all. You don't drink heavy though. No, not anymore.

Not like I used to. I like that tight feeling though. I like that. Yeah, there's pros and cons for sure. Like I was on another podcast, they were asking me like what I do for energy before I go on stage. I hold my pee. Oh really?

To give me a sense of, oh damn. Yeah. Because I'm such like low energy, so I hold my pee. So it's like I move, I make myself move more because like you know when you got a pee, you're moving more. Yeah. Like that sense of urgency.

What's dope about your low energy is you hit so powerful. Yes. It's like monster. Right. It's insane. I mean, I've seen you quite a few times. Like, I mean, just back and forth at the store, you know. But like, you know, watching you get down this week,

because I didn't see you in a bit, and watching you get down with us at Balkan. I was just like, damn, yeah. When I turned back to stage, I was like, this is the first time him and I have been nervous in a long-ass time. I'm next. Oh, shit up. I'm not a man, I'm not.

Yeah, I was acting. Oh, I'm stretching it. Yeah, I'm not going to bring out some new stuff. Yeah, but all right, David, here we go. Woo! No, but I like that feeling. Yeah. I like those, I guess like when we were talking about

With crack them up Thursdays when we do the development spots and how she pretty much yeah, I'm gonna show pretty much put you up But I say like when we did the shows of the Vulcan you would go on there and kill it remind me the like not not obviously not now because the code would be Remind me of like not obviously not now because the code would be right me the store before everything Right, right. Oh, yeah, yeah, fuck right look at the lineup. I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, I fall fucking Joey Diaz Right, yeah, nightmare, you know, this is killer killer killer, but it is it brings you to like a whole another level It felt good though. I was like damn, there's that nervousness on you. Yeah It's like I feel like you need that man. I like to be challenged. Like, you know, because it's like, I don't know how your

audience is going to respond to me. It's your audience. Yeah, my audience. Yeah, a lot of dudes. So a lot of dudes. Yeah, they loved it though. And then the owner of Vulcan, when I came the back, you know, you were on stage, I'm like, like, like,

how are you not booking this dude every fucking week? He's like, we are, man. I don't know. When he called us, I'm a BTO ass tour. Booking this dude every fucking week. He's like we are man When he got when he called us the I'm a beach oh ass tour Beater ass And there's that one like girl got lost over the back Greed He leaves he's on man you're playing as face It was Yeah, yeah, cuz it was the most cuz she was hot and good pot if she was hot and repot. Oh, you have bathroom

I'll show you what's it, but she was all basic World me a nice way like that We were a dog. I actually just do go hard on stage with comments. So you got shows pretty good. Yeah, yeah, you got show. Show. Show.

Show. Show. Show. Show. Show. Show. Show. Show.

Show. Show. Show. Show. Show. He doesn't tell anyone that he started getting complaint. I mean I'm in that like you're playing Tony's my boy So I'm in a laser and I've been on the show numerous times. I know the vibe is but you know, Shultt came to LA Doesn't didn't know over that the time he's came in he said Little man, he's like I guess I'm in the chamber, but I wasn't ready No, you know, yeah shows came with a couple he came with a couple and but you literally you had Everything everybody before did you call him you said he looked like the screen mask or something like the screen I legit didn't like him, but his energy is fucked up. Oh, you know, he was it you know what I mean because you know normally like I have my

Exhausted people yeah, drop out in the back. Yeah, we're in stage In the back, okay, you know, I that people are I appreciate you for being a good boy, you know You know, I appreciate you for being cool about this man. I usually do that too whenever I do something to someone in the crowd And they really ask for I usually say thank you make it depends Yeah, they're being asked is yes Did he know the vibe? Yeah, and did you see, like he's a, you know, like he is gifted to the guy.

Yeah, he's a good easy guy. And then like his energy, like afterwards, and then like I saw him a couple of more times, you know, working the door, and it's just like, damn, but normally, you know, after I have an interaction with somebody that give a little respect, you know, so like, he'd probably up and didn't even know me when I was working the back door.

So because it's like, I wrote to Eric Griffin, then he asked me to go on the road with him. Like I wrote to the shoulder, he's like, hey, when you're gonna be here here and there. And it's like, so it's like, there was no, nothing can, not saying I was looking for something. I love it, but it was like. But you see a respect between comics.

So see, if you like somebody up, you know. It is what it is like Maybe rap to get personal or something. Yeah, maybe rap my boy David you go At work in the door though that I that's the people I talked to most if you want to find out comics ask the door guys They know everyone because I'll be like oh that guy's cool like he's not cool, man You know, he's never tipped us. I'll be like, what the fuck? And there's people that you would never find.

I know, like, we know how much he makes, right? Like, I know. People you would never think, I'm like, God damn. Bro, me and Anthony Jussonick, we didn't really have, it was awkward though. I started working it back door. I didn't know a lot of white comics, you know, coming into the comedy store.

I knew Anthony Jussonick was, but I didn't know the full bearded Anthony Justinick So he comes and I was like, oh, yeah, I need to see your ID, bro I was like, what are you going? See like, I don't do you know where you going because he didn't say anything I was like, do you know where you going? He's like always know where I'm going And then I was like and then he pointed to the sign. I was like, oh, okay He's a beast. And then Theo Vans assistant at the time,

was from like, Tara? I can't remember that, but I didn't see a fire. Theo Vans assistant was like, do you know who that is? You need to go apologize, right? Now I'm like, I'm not a apologize. I didn't do my job. You know what I mean? We're doing your job?

Not a apologize. You're the castaway bear. Like, you're regular. I'm not real sick. I just didn't know who he was with a beard. And it happened with Andrew Santino. You didn't know who he was? Santino was? No, not until I started working at the company.

Wait, hey man, where you going? Exactly, I started working. We just doing your job though. But also for them, it's like, I also realized the new door guy. Be cool, man. Wait, so did you start comedy out here started back? I started I started comedy the first time ever got on stage was in high school because I did oh shit I did MTV your mama in high school you was on your mama. Yeah, really? Yeah, I was a surreal. I was a celebrity in high school

There was another there's another comic George who come George Lopez. I didn't know not George I know you talking about the Mexican dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he he was he was on it. He was on it The host of rose moves on it brain to lose he was oh damn. I don't know that here was on it for real to he was on it MTV's kind of popped off a lot George Perez George Perez. Yeah, he's a beast. I love you. Be super You ever had to fall George? No, be speed. He's likes the's a beast. I love you. Be super. You ever had fall George? No beast. Be he's like the fucking room. I know Monster love that. Yeah, baby joy. Dears. Yeah, he's a Mexican joy. Dears like yeah thinner. Yeah, that's that's his style. Yeah, the bronchi like yeah, that's great monster. It works monster. Yeah, yeah, MTV's great monster it works monster Yeah, yeah MTV's had like they've had so much talent come through there and obviously they just doubled down on fucking 16 and pregnant but they like they had that guy code

Sholes that was fucking sholsea Charlemagne the LCD Chrissy D was on there. Oh Just got what's her name any letterman was on the letterman was on there? Carly Aquilino It's ton of comics ton of comic was in what's his name? He's fucking little devol Little devol All the time and then him and Charlemagne had his show for a second to Devol and I think it was called like ain't that America or something like that But that was obviously short lived but like yeah a lot of people come from it Yeah, come to the time and little dev Duvall's been around for many.

How's that? He's mastered Instagram. He's mastered it. I watched Lil Duvall when I was a kid. I'm coming here. How old is Lil Duvall? At minimum 45. You know, you know he has his own, he has to be.

You know he has his own plane. What? Yeah, he always lives on some island. And the shelter's time, he flies, he flies his fucking. Oh, he's 43. Duvall's made that much money. That's what I said. And I apparently he has. And he said he bought like he, it's not like a big ass, you know, like Drake fucking off white plane. But it's like a private private jet. He lives on, I forget where he lives. He lives on like a straight

up island. Mm-hmm. I can show them in a talk about all time and show them me like, you see little devolving. No, I can't get out there man because he's flying he lives on the island. Yeah, you said fuck you You don't understand how good that show money is when you're a comedian Get me like TV. No, no, no like like touring like touring if you yeah, yeah, no on the low way you can come back On a good weekend with 20. Oh, yeah, I love that's load. Yeah, I'd be about a weekend. Right, right. So it's just a headline, I'd be about a weekend. Yeah, he sells out pretty strong too.

Yeah, he does. And he matches Instagram bro, just from. Oh dude. And then he got, so he got, and he's in a good position because that's, I hate Instagram, but I do want to have to, but he, he, he posts the memes in the video, so he got like a 21 and up crowd and the older cast

that norm from comic view. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. And also the comics that don't fit like the older comics that don't figure out social media, they just, it's like you left behind, unless you're a real old head, you have that like old like Ron White doesn't even be on Instagram doing fun stuff.

Yeah, some people, yeah, you need it. You know, somewhat younger and like you gotta, like you gotta figure out Instagram. Yeah, you really have to. Like sure, it's your own PR. And it's just like what you said, I hate all fucking social media to begin with. You gotta do that.

But you gotta do it. Sometimes I'm like, damn, I ain't posting it two days. Let me find it. Yeah, you're stressed. You suck, suck, suck, suck, you're doing a bonus shit. Look at that. Well today I was like, man,

they added more tickets and shows and Kentucky, and they do something. Right. My guy was like, man, do something in the gym. I'm like, they added more tickets and shows and Kentucky any do something right my guys like man do something the gym Half-do Bullshit video me on the leg machine is some shit. I don't want to do this man. You have to that's like calendar You know calendar 54 for the longest like no, we don't need to do that. We don't need to do that podcast We only do that. I'm like, I'm telling you this is This is the Everyone they're fucking on has a podcast. Oh for real you as a comic That's what you like this is this is how I sell tickets right this is it man. Mm-hmm. Oh you have your own podcast?

Yeah, I had one with William Montgomery. Oh, yeah, the brothers brothers in cursors brothers in cursors He is full names william. You call him bill or something? William, william Montgomery. I'll come. You never see William Montgomery. Let me see him the most interesting person Well, just by his name is he run for he's like yeah, he's like a man job. He's kind of No, he'll call attention. It's kind of like Andy coffee. That he's oh really? Oh, dude. He's great And he says the wildest shit his his kill Tony appearances are another one that's like Really dope on the right. Yeah, I know him. Yeah, he's great. I would I I Forget where I saw him he was hammered though. Oh, yeah

Is that him in front of my car? That's my fucking car right there. That's my car. Yeah, that's That's my fucking car right there. That's my car. Yeah, that's a Miriam shot a video inside We did a video for a realtor inside that was in I think Huntington Beach or Redondo Beach one of those beaches far out and The guy is like the something over the head of Ferrari racing. Oh, shit. Like that's a real car there dog. Yeah, he's such a interesting character He was so hammered though. Yeah, we're at the improv together We're doing some show and I got stage and he was talking about so he's giving me some tips. I think I'm telling you wasn't I'm telling you wasn't

Yeah, that's my car man. Oh shit Inside the rise, wait send that to Chen or oh my god Chainsma your drop. Yeah, yeah, you dropped to Chen's I hope on the air drop and you guys would shoot in commercial for him? Yeah, we shot a real estate commercial. So like, so the realtor who sells like all those multi-million dollar houses, he does like, like a mini movie, like a sketch. Like Instagram sketch to sell the house.

That's cool. And he hit me in Willow. And you guys wrote it for him? Now he, he pretty much had it. He had a ready to go. Just wanted you guys to be in it. We tagged it along the way like, oh you think you can switch that out, do this to make it a little fucking good. That's cool. Let me see the video chin. Yeah. And this is his garage.

Yeah, bro. It's insane. And those are just the cars that are underground. That car there's from... Oh, he's got a bunch more. That 918, Rizri Dickens. I like that Bentley. Is that a Bentley? Yeah, it's not correct. Yeah, GT. I think I'm learning I've got a Ferrari simulator

What is that like you say a video game? Yes, I'll be a screen like pole position Yeah, like actual drivers because they've gotten so good They'll have like the real shit and I do that to get better at driving. Oh god It that's Jason to y'all Jason F1. Yeah, that at home He's at a like stick shit on shit. NERLER. I know right Focus on I'm gonna sit on this one too. What he has a Lakers indoor basketball court a his group damn right You got another one brother, And he's just crushing it.

Bro, just doing this. Ballin'. You never hear from him anymore now, right, not? The guy, no, no. Was he like a fan of you guys or something? So the guy who owns the house knew nothing of us. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, how have you got to sell the house?

Do it, you know what I'm saying? And it was just the house he was selling with the Lakers court. Yeah You better be the biggest fucking Lakers fan Damn indoor too and it's full court not have just have all right Don't not as cool, but still Well, that's what Rick Glassman said we were we're in the back in the green room and we're bragging He's talking about something I said dog once you come to my house man. I got a full core said, we're in the back in the green room and we're bragging. He was talking about something. I said, Doug, once you come to my house, man, I got a full core of it.

It's like, we're just talking shit. And he was, yeah, it's definitely outdoor though, because you're not making the money have an indoor court. That's so funny. You have to tell him it was an outdoor court. Yeah, it goes because that's beyond it. I'm making the way you have it. That's gonna be outdoors to be hot.

I don't do well outside. He was, but I will still come over and play. I'm making the way I think That's gonna be out there. It's gonna be hot. I don't do well outside Here's but I will still come over and play That's been so fucking funny I correct me my wrong though you've been losing weight. Yeah, bro. You've been on it You you you you hit up Mark Harley. Hello, my He was like come work out with this man. You're now late come join the group. Yeah Well, I'm talking to start coming to zoo culture You know, I'm saying come come work out with your own boys.

Two-something to do something, you know what I'm saying? You got kids, so you're up early anyways. They don't live with me. I got baby mommas. Oh, right. Yeah, mom. You go, you said baby mommas. Two different kids. Two different kids, two different baby mommas.

Oh, damn. David. Yeah, that'd better start making that money. That's it. Man, a few more joysticks. You got a a six year-old in one year old right? Yeah, you're good dad. I'm a great dad. Yeah, you see my both girls both girls Feel like it's scary having girl more scary having girls. What are them boys? The good thing about girls is I don't got to never worry about getting married because they'll take care of me when I get old

That's true. So that's boys to put your ass in the nurse home Heartbeat My dad starts tweaking. I'm like Yeah, put your nurse home. Yeah, I got you me a nurse home in the Alabama too, but I want six kids though Yeah me too. You want a lot of kid I want more kids, but you don't you got a like kind of seven girl. You'll find you Ratter die you use go you would you be down for six kids six different baby mamas? For that's not before baby You stop it for baby mama isn't a nightmare though like like me my girl time

I like we were watching 16 pregnant and they're like dropping the kids off And shit she's like can you imagine if we were separating deal with kids? I'm like, yeah, yeah fucking it's tough enough when I started making decent money so my problems went away Oh really cuz they yeah, they're like yeah, I get a child support, you know, so like oh god You pay your child support you can do whatever you want you can take your care for a month Yeah, yeah, and oh, so you cool with your baby mama. Mm-hmm. They get paid so they yeah, what is that a complaint about and Ethnicity of baby momma's black the first one now. That's probably coming next I want to I want a Latin baby mom in Asian baby mom. There you go. There's the other ones black so

My first baby they're both black, but she's Native American and black. And then my youngest, her mom is Jamaican. Oh, okay. I see you. The girls do like you, man. Yeah, they love you. They really do. They love David Todd.

Have you always been a ladies man? Probably since like 15. when I got papillains group playing football. That makes sense. Oh yeah, you were like real football player. Detackle? Defensive tackle, man. Yeah, so.

How'd you know? Just a body tie. So Brandon got the body of like a defensive end or outside linebacker. Yeah. Is that what you were? Well, same. I was on the offensive end of it.

So I was the title. So that's the Aaron Hernandez. Yeah, yeah, yeah, without the murdering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, without the, and the case stuff. You'd be a fool back. What's that? That's what I told him.

You're a fool. Well, you build the definition of a fool back. Sure. A fool back is the shorted, short yards, short yards. I lead the way. You do a lot of black. Yeah. I just do block it.

Mike, I'll set. Jim Brown? No, he's a straight up of black. Yeah, I just do block Mike. I'll start Jim Brown No, he's a straight-up running back. Oh, he was there's a fullback still like they stopped using fullbacks these days But there's a fullback for the Baltimore Ravens who is yeah, he's 300 pounds that boy can move Oh really you never seen him. No, oh my god, cuz it's real. It's not such a passing game Yeah, but Raven said fuck that man We're gonna roll with Lamar Jackson and we got this 300 pound fullback who can move and they got marketing Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's why the running game so powerful this dude's day so fullback

Bring up that fullback for both more events fullback. Yeah Yeah, you right. I don't know You have some juicy running backs like Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. I don't even know the handsome juicy running backs like Patrick was up. Yeah, that's him record. He's three three eleven. Holy shit. I want to talk with that Bro, you should see him fucking move people out the way it's insane. You know who I mad didn't make it bro Bose car bro. Oh, I know. I don't know. He was a freak athlete beast. He was a video

Dude, I'm doing this thing. Are you still follow football college only college who's your team? Bama I can be a Bama fan from Georgia because I was going to play football. Oh, you're gonna go to Bama And then what happened just messing up Great not behavior. Yeah, oh, yeah, you told me. Yeah, you said a lot of it was your behavior. Yeah, like where's the guy at? That's him pancake and I did 42 in the back there. Oh shit three 11 and can move Players to watch because no one really fucks the fullback anymore to watch because no one really fucks the fullback anymore. I think he's my first team all the thing.

Yeah, I'll think. But what was that boy's name? Refresurator Perry? Yeah, he played a little fullback. This dude's like his full time gig though. Oh, like in the NFL, no one really fucks the fullback. So when you college does, but so you start football, you just went hard with the comedy. Your dream was to make the NFL? That was my thing. I was going to the NFL. Yeah, and then

Went to school in college in Georgia for like one year and I was just getting a lot of trouble bro Like fighting and shit, bro. I was I college you said you went to Make a state in Jamesy the Yeah, GMC Where's that it? It's a Georgia. Oh, yeah, when you're giving us a ride in that test, I was like, where'd you guys at GMG? GMC, I was like, what? GMC Georgia military college.

Georgia military college. Try to get it right. But dog like the thing that made me know I had to move the LA guy who I was hanging tough with. His name is Sejid Denard. And this chick actually saved me from going to prison. So he called me and he was like, I need you to give me a ride a little later. And I said, I got you broke. And when I was supposed to go give him a ride, my girlfriend at the time was like, no,

you haven't been over here in a while. Get your ass over here Or we done So I went to go see her and I take Cedric. I was like, hey bro. My bad. I can't give you a ride man I never got a text message back. Yeah, that he mad at me because I can't give him a ride So me and her chilling in her bed. It's like the 11 o'clock news come on Cedric denards face is on the 11 o'clock news come on, Sedgic denards face is on the 11 o'clock news, bro. He, the ride I was giving him was to go sell a cell phone,

but he had, he was trying to rob the guy for the money. Jesus. And still keep the cell phone. So in Georgia, if you're, what is it called? Uh, get away driver. The get away driver or around the admission of a car. Give it to my association.

Give it to my association. So I'm pretty sure knowing me, I would have got out of the car and walked with him to sell the phone because I don't know, I don't know. around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or around or for me because we sat there watching a year, yeah, shout out to Rhonda. We sat there watching on the news, man, like, boom, robbery. So then when did you come out to LA shortly after that? Like three months later. You know, yeah, I get the LHG. My cousin actually was a rapper and like the jet rapper, like

soundcloud getting bigger. Yeah. And he had a tour in LA. And basically he was like, because I was trying to find a way to get out here. I didn't know anybody didn't know I had a family I had at the time and basically he was like, cause I was trying to find a way to get out here. I didn't know anybody, didn't know I had a family I had at the time and I was like, I ain't man, like he was like, we're going to LA for a week,

she got four weeks to get your shit together. I was like, I bet scared as hell. I'm like 19. Yeah, yeah. About to be 20. First time I'll be this far away from my family and came out here and made it work, man. And then how did you get the get the comic story?

So my youngest daughter's mom in 2019, I was about to like, just, you know, like, hang it up during comedy. Because I had my second kid on the way. And I was just about to like, go back to college. And she was like, I'll support you this year, but you have to go out to the comedy store at least twice a week. Cause I sucked at networking. So she was like, you're gonna go on Mondays and you're gonna find another day to go to the comedy store

and you're gonna stay there all day. Can I go? Yeah, so every Monday, she would make me go to the comedy store and there's this one Monday, I did not wanna go to the comedy store because I have been been signing up for the bucket for like what a potluck For like three months one getting pulled and I'm just like I'm tired of shit Like you know what I'm saying yeah, and the Monday I didn't want to go I told her I would be at the house and she's like if you're at the house when I get home from work pack your bag

This is my young my youngest daughter's mom the judge Jamaican the Jamaican hell yeah, yeah, if you're home when I get home pack your bag Take my ass the comments Pick the commissar got picked on potluck Adam has seen me before it But he's never offered me a family of friends by he was like, Hey, David, what are you doing in like two weeks? And then I did a family of friends again. And Quincy was telling me at that time, I think Quincy weekly, Quincy weekly, like, fun, child guy fight. You should try to get the position.

I was like, we'll put it in Adams here and Then Adam saw me like David you want to be a dork guy? I was like yeah, cuz they're you know, I'm like yeah The door guy alumni man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rogan Yeah, I'm gonna go guy. I'm not there. Shit Mark Marin are Tony here There's shit Mark man are you there? Hey, so you're sure you're Jim Carrey and posting Bobby Lee Bobby Lee. It's the Navy sales of comedy for reals Yeah, so he put me on Maybe that's exactly what is the Navy sales of comedy he put more family and friends a lot of the comedians at the comedy store

Out of jealousy probably were like man. That's just what one is particular It's like that's a stupid ass move, bro. You going backwards. I'm like Me wow, you know how like how the game works He was like you go backers. I'm like He's like you already he's like you already got such as follows and you got this on YouTube like why would you want to work here? And then when I got there I saw why he didn't want me to work there You know what I'm saying? You you started getting a lot of stuff. You know, a lot of, you know, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, every headliner comes through

there. They see you. But also you really talented. So it's like, I mean, it was, I don't want to be there. If you're not, yeah, he would, it's, it's hard. But at the common, when I got to the comedy store, bro, like I started, like, you know, like you could tell guys who've been in like forever that shouldn't still be there and they're like when I first started you can even get a spot for the first six months or something. Well stuff changed. I don't know. I first said ever in the belly. Why was doing laundry? I know what to tell you dog that what do you want me to do there? I think the spot I fucking went and did it exactly so like I would like they give me a lot of the openness by to a lot of people just you know like you know You might not like me at first, but then when you get to know me. It's like I'll be doing that

I mean chill. Yeah So it's like they really nothing to hate so you know you become friends with those guys like hey man You want to come open the main room like yeah come open the main room and then when I work in the belly room I was kind of like I wouldn't say bully, but I'd persuade them to put you on to put me on because I had to go do the safety announcement So I'm like, hey, let's start the show timidness earlier. I'll do you know five six minutes and then I'll get a safety announcement I like that. Yeah, yeah for you man Yeah, yeah, for you man, that's a dog. And if you look at, but like networking was already in you, you just said no, and someone just had to push you.

You know, I got real bad social anxiety, man. I know you told me. I take CBD for now, so it's way better. That helps the things out of you for sure. So it helps. You do that vape, man. Yeah, I do my vape all the time. My baby mama called him, I pacifier.

Yeah. But he had it like 70 times. Right. And I was like, okay, man had it like 70 times in the green room. I was like, okay, man, he goes, I got social anxiety dollars. There was a lot of people in that green room. Yeah. Especially if I don't know him, you know what I'm saying?

Like my first time, you know, me. Yeah, it is always weird, right? Cause you don't even remember when we first met. We first met, we first met at the comedy store. You were, I have a great memory. You were on some show in the belly room. It was like a weekday. I wasn't working, but I was working at the comedy store at the time.

And I, how I, because I don't really know how to like star conversation, I was like, hey bro, we got the same manager. What? That is what you said. Yeah, I was some famous. They blew it to the outside. I was like, what's up, dick? I was already coming. The other day I was the friendliest guy to come.

I was going to, I was like, hey man, they saw my all where they want me. No, yeah, you are a friendly dude, yeah, I remember that. But you're a friendly dude. I am a friendly dude. Yeah, it's like, you should have anxiety today, even though, you know yeah, you are fairly dude. Yeah, I remember that you're friendly dude. I am perfectly You should have anxiety today, even though you know, obviously you're respecting the space. Yeah, yeah It has gotten better. I took a CBD before I came here So now I take CBD when I wake up and it normally helps How strong that CBD? You've used the drops? Yeah, I do like a 10 milligram in the morning

drop sometime. I do like a 10 milligram in the morning. And like, um, the gummies or something. Yeah. You be paying for it? Yeah. I got you. I mean, yeah, I got. Yeah. Come on. I know. I know. I saw what you were getting. I don't know. He took me up. Yeah. He gets you. And he got them. He got them drops. Yeah. And like when I fly by myself, I got to take CBD. Oh really? If I fly with a chick or a friend and I'm able to talk like You're by yourself like myself like my thoughts Yeah, I have to take it night cuz I can't shut off like my mind Like when I get on the plane I just accept

If that makes it's just like I could die. accept that I feel like everyone well, all right here. I guess I'm gonna trust this dude. Like we're so trusting. It's like when you go on a fucking ride at six flags, I guess they service this fucking thing. I'll hang up slide down and go 90,000 miles an hour. A lot of my anxiety is not being in control. Yes. Oh, okay, there he is.

So, cause it's like bro, like, I have a hard time, like if we're on a road trip, sleeping in the car with somebody driving I'd be tired of telling stay up. Yeah, oh Cuz I'm not a control you know what I'm saying. You don't fuck a right now Christian we have a rate my state. Yeah, oh we do hey man Maybe got kids maybe got animals and dinner time can be chaotic, but not with freshly yep It's easy the chefs take care of your meals a few nights a week and take the pressure off of you, man.

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Just see your first month free. I think Blue Choo for being part of the fighter and the kids. So we got a segment, you're emery born for the segment. We got a segment on here where people send in because we always say where LA Six is we gave everyone a LA score, you know, well now we got to give a David and LA score. I'm LA-12 The I like the cow. I like the cow man.

Yeah, there, and girl. Hey, damn. So, right my stay actually, W, she's 35. Was that Washington, Richfield, Washington? I'm Teddy's 22, though. I'm 10 years old. I'm 10 years old. I'm 10 years old.

Fucking two years old. Yeah, she's 5'4", 15, mom, or three. Yeah, she's banging. She got the black rifle coffee shirt on, too. 415 mom of three Yeah, she's banging she got the black rifle coffee should on to Real for a wash it do For for Washington out she looks like the only Republican in Washington Yeah, firing guns and shit damn she's smoking so here's the thing that gives me Shot like I would need to know where those kids born in wet lot. Yeah, it's fair. Yeah Huh, why that in the next time they said yeah, yeah

How old were you when you had your first kid everything My son got his first haircut yesterday. Oh boy. She got. Yeah, she know how to ride a horse I thought it oh boy. She got yeah, she know how to ride a horse. Oh, yeah, well, look at the way she's sitting on that damn thing She's bad regardless She's straight I would give her an LA nine. I was I was good I give her a nine she's a West Connor Washington 10. Yeah LA nine. No LA nine was yeah Washington, too Reached you know you know white girls at all, David Because of kill turning them in the white girls at all, David? Because it killed time in the white girls, but they got to approach me on approach them.

It's smart. It's smart. It's smart. It's being a smart, smart, smart. You got to come talk to me. Would you give her a chin? Chin's a bit of a hater. He's like, I'm a hitting her. He's like, I want to see a bad bitch on Instagram But like, her elbows are pointing. I told them before when I see plastic surgery, it looks kind of fake for somebody that turns me on.

That's fake on her. No, no, no, that's not her. She's actually like a 7.58 So what's a 10 for you? Like who would you call her 10? Two, I know right. No, right. You like girls that are built like that fucking camera pole? 10, breakable. Breakable.

That girl we saw yesterday on, with Ben Affleck, she's probably the closest to a 10 that I've seen in a while. She's got all the work done, shit. Yeah. No, she's just her lips. No, we're in time. We're buying a girl, pull her up. No, she's just just her lips. No. We're in time.

We're in time. Pull her up. We're in time. We're in time. We're in time. We're in time. Pull her up. We're in time.

Pull her up. We're in time. Pull her up. We're in time. Pull her up. Pull her up. Pull her up. Pull her up.

Pull her up. Pull her up. Pull her up. Pull her up. Pull her up. Pull her up. Pull her up. L.A. Six. Yeah, I can't tell her to come over whenever. See, look at Jen, she's on natural. Not all of you think she was like lips and nose. Like, definitely not too obvious. She has too much face mask.

She has too much makeup on. Don't fake shade it. Come on, Jen. You can't tell about plastic surgery than reference that. I'm just gonna say, sometimes. I just gotta like him all natural, like highly generous. You might have to give him some lacic surgery, but I would. I can't tell.

What do you give her, Kat? I agree, I think she's at LA9. And then Washington like 12. Yeah, solid. The best looking thing in Washington. And Washington is the one who ever she won't yeah What do you give her Christian 10 Washington 10 LA 9 she's five four same high does you True hey

She looks like she needs a beast huh she looks like she needs a Yeah, I would be a good guy. She goes and archery and all that. Yeah, would work. Black rifle. Would work in. Yeah, come on. She look like she got to do who's like shop side.

So you probably got to know how to fight too. Yeah, she looks like first team all. She looks like first team all maggot. Right. She won the few that voted red. She wants you to. What else you got gin One time the numbers that six nine seven nine nine

Four nine so it's a solid fucking score How quiet mother for though would work another wood worker part of the thick boy girl club Is there any oh different pick I got them old school gauges family looking up boy for diabetes as a take What's that does that change her her rating? Yes, you attend my book I Was that does that change her her rating? What state is she from chin she doesn't say yeah, it doesn't say Based off those bushes I can say that's my hometown they could be Colorado Some shit. Uh-huh. Yeah, I wish we knew what state she from. Yeah, that she look bad there. Mm-hmm five feet to I

Get a heart. You're a real looking to like it. Yeah, I give you know, I that's a good fun score. Chris. That's fake I give her some I'm a thought to She got to do so I could just be a part time dude like I a lot of factors in so yeah He can't he can't beat me up For him for financial stability. I see the gray inside of here. Yeah I'd be analyzing everything right She's the wild one though has that yeah, absolutely titty fucking tat Gages in the year a savage. Oh, she is gauges. Oh, yeah, bro. She has girls night three times a week.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. She can't wait for half an hour. Yeah, right. And babies are gonna get in there. Leap around the duties of the kids. Yeah, yeah, I give her an eight. Solid eight, too. Solid.

Could you give me a commencement of nine? Damn, I'm kind killed it with the ladies today Who picked these Christian yeah, just what this one's funny. Oh, oh, God Wait so undo huh? Do this one or what yeah St. Louis, Missouri. Yeah, yeah, okay Okay Well hey, bro just read the read the shit Read this for Zuri St. Louis Missouri

511 150 nurse for 20 years amateur Moitai champion out of St. Louis Oh, damn she said okay Why is this one oh, she's with that same guy that's her husband. Oh, she's not her husband Yeah, I'm very big. Yeah, let's go that guy guy's like remember we thought it was a girl. His name Shannon. We call it like Saint Louis. I could older Stevie Blue. That's older. Stevie Blue. Yeah, I remember. He's just gonna have a mohawk like that with his hair on the sides dipping out. He's just gonna have a mohawk like that with his hair on the sides dipping out

Go back to her change Grilter her picks again First one they use a titties as a punching bag These four people I'll let David take the legal Oh I I Can Where It is like Kathy Gifford transitioning

Oh God I give her a four That's real though. Yeah, it's tough. what do you give her Missouri though? Well that body What was that bet what seven seven's good seven's good. I'm a David. I think it's a little high. I'd say five That body don't she's 47 Yeah, and 45 she kick you right in the face with a, she's 34, look at my body.

Facts. You know what I'm saying? I can't give her a four. Chris, what do you give her, Jen? Why me, man? We're all in it. Hey, yeah, they're man. What do you tell you about why?

I don't wanna actually say it, but it's lower than anyone else's giving her, I think. Oh, you wouldn't even give her a four? This just isn't chin style 3.8 Okay, I'll give her a four dude. No, you don't feel pressured. I mean for some reason you go three point this girl would peg you dog Right But I hit a window robber You're all dog is trusted for some reason

I think I dig that she's a nurse I give you seven all the way honey. I'm gonna give her a six. Okay. Look at seven, six, four, Christian, four, four, cat. I give her a six. It's so far age with her body to be able to get that. That's what I'm saying. And a nurse. Exactly. I could never drop her to a four. It's like a four. Seven. Also she would kick all of our asses. Yeah, no I think it's a for no no man. You think you could take her they don't make bulletproof bodies You might have to double like that

Go back to Malabama, Jason. I don't know. You kinda sucks being honest about this, right? But I mean, that's, you know what, we're gonna be honest about it. So, I apologize, Laurie. No, apologize. Think we're the champions. I mean, you can't just be giving tans out. I know.

I'm sticking to what the segment is. The first one was a bona fide smoke show and then you bring in this fucking you know It's also a comedy podcast some people Yeah, yeah, yeah, they know what they're saying. We're just having fun. Oh, it's a baby blues six four one ninety five That means this boy shredded California four. I don't think so dog. Michigan seven eight I'll use a little model. Yeah, he must be a model on the game Who's gonna say I mean he got it. He got it in West Hollywood. He had 10. Yeah, you can't with a blue eyes

He got the that structure the bone structure the Christmas cheer yeah One word him in a suit that's kind of he looks like you get catfish It looks like a four yeah, yeah, it looks like a basic bitch right there 6 4 1 95 that means if you learn how to smile who is off I don't really sent that one and that's what he looks like at that. Did you look six before you for some reason? It doesn't seem like he's probably is 6 4 195 especially right there a dog like it. Yeah, I think that's when he was really looks like prom for some reason it doesn't seem like he's probably is 6.195 especially right there dog like it.

Yeah. I think that's when he was real. That looks like prom. Yeah. I don't know why he said the problem. If he grows some facial hair to cover up that chin, he'll be a teacher. That's fair.

Yeah. When he gets a beer, when he gets a beer game, right, then I'll give him a eight. You may a eight. L.A.A. I'm going to give him L.A. nine. Well, he's a West Hollywood nine for sure. No, he was Hollywood 10. Yeah, 20. Oh my god. Yeah, 20. Since 495, the blue eyes. Yeah, you're right. He's telling me. Oh boy, it's fresh meat. Yeah. Yeah, right. Come on boys. Right., boys. Right. He's looking so big.

He's in his hands. He's still down the abbey. Yeah. And if that's how you are, man, that's cool. Oh, nice support, man. We support you. Yeah, LA, from me, bro. Yeah, dude.

If that is your thing, you come to LA, you can all the dick you can handle. I'll tell you that. You can try that Maybach truck in my apartment. Yeah. Yeah. We try shotgun. I think this man is a solid nine, because you would also be a hot ass girl if you put a wig on.

Yeah, you right. Tuck that scrote him back. Hey, tuck me in the truck. You tuck that shit back your full Brian Callan easily. Oh my god. Stupid. We got another one. Last one. Tampa, Canada. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Firefighter EMT amateur fighter mechs in Spanish caramel poppy hazel eyes. It is single demyles. So be cool, man Yeah, what else you got? He has more chin. Yeah, yeah. I'm just checking out Tampa canter. You're my favorite chin I don't see Tampa canter to by the way

Yeah, he lives in canter. He lives in Tampa, but he's from canter So we got to give him a tan. Oh, okay He lives in Tampa but he's from Canada. That's what's going on. So we got to give him a 10. Oh, OK. OK. Did that fireman fuck you? Yeah. Calendar spreadsheet.

This was a LAT in my book. Oh, you give him a 10? Yeah, he would kill it out here. Yeah. He would kill it out here. He would kill it out here. He'd take all the black girls, bro. Yeah.

Them eyes running. Yeah, he'd kill it. I'm going to give him an 8. Oh, yeah, he would kill it. I wouldn't leave him an eight. Oh, yeah, he would kill it. I give an eight. I wouldn't leave him where I'm at, no, that guy would. No, no, no. Those other, the pigs are tough.

That was so different. That one. He said that guy would, that guy would it. Yeah. Yes, the EMT pick that gets me. He's from Tampa, Florida not How do I put can are you put can't I just I floored the E now? Oh word. Oh, God Okay, Tampa, Florida. He had Tampa, Florida nine I give him a LA7

But I also wouldn't if I was eating at hobby years with my girl I went to the bathroom I came back here sitting there. I'd be nervous. Oh be nervous This guy right that guy right there. He wears be nervous. Oh, be nervous. This guy right there. That guy, right there. That guy right there. He makes me nervous. Yeah, me too. He makes me nervous. He's a good looking waiter at the restaurant.

Yeah, yeah. And honestly, might have to take the L, you know. Yeah, maybe. I give him seven. I give him LAT, too. Yeah, he'd kill it out here. Is that it? That's it.

All right, what you got for current events, Jim. Let's see I spent I let a trumpet Facebook. I he doing his own shit, right? I don't know website or something. He's trying to come up. He launched his own shit And what it is it's like a way for him to bypass all of it so he can still be on there. It's weird Right kind of like this. I guess guess kinda like what Alex Jones is doing. Oh, God, he got it. Okay, so on Monday we're talking about Will Smith gaining weight and Mark Wahlberg actually posted this before and after photo.

He is currently on the route to gain 30 pounds for a roll. I guess he's 20 pounds up. And this is what he looks like. Oh god, damn. So that's what he was three weeks ago, and then now he looks like that. Yeah. How do you do that in three weeks?

Three weeks. He said that he was under such a restrictive diet for so long trying to stay fit, that now he's just eating whatever the fuck he wants. He's a beast. Yeah. That boy, we're working out hard too. Yeah.

Anybody that worked out, we're like, you know what I'm saying. Does he know? He's Yeah, I'm gonna be working out hard to Yeah, but he's that worked out like he's not watching the ZZ. He's the goalie schedule is insane Does he own those F-45? Yeah, he's part of it. Yeah, part of it. Yeah, that's what I thought. I one boy who's Australian his son goes school with my son He he actually owns him, but Mark Walberg's a partner in it got it. Okay, okay. He's the one working out He's an animal dude him and four brothers Okay, okay, he's the one who worked out. Dude, he's an animal. Dude, him and four brothers,

which is not what I blame. One of my favorite movies, Vince Napoleon Invincible. Have you seen that? I haven't seen Invincible. Dude, he's a beast. He's a monster. He's a monster.

Now, he's a monster. Mark Walberg's one of my favorite people. Dude, lone survivor. Fire. Come on. Patriots say is the boss in bombing movie. Oh, got it, got it. He plays like a boss.

That one's really good. Oh, he kills it in that. Mayor plays like a boss. That one's really good. That's a really good movie. Oh, he kills it in that. You remember when they tried Cancel him for something he did when he was 18, when he beat up that Asian dude? He's sucker punch and Asian dude. He beat him half-line with a stick and... But then they went to the Asian dude in Boston, he's like, man, I'm good.

Get out of here. Yeah, I'm just gonna shut everybody down. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it was one of those weird situations. I think it was for Patriots day or a movie that he did a Few years back where he wanted to become an honorary cop because he was doing the process of research for a film And they said that he couldn't because of that felony and they went back and tried to do interview with the Vietnamese guy that he beat in the Vietnamese guys like he was a young kid who didn't know any better

He's like he grew up like I wish him any games when he got juicy. Oh with the rock when the rock was like Yeah, every steroid you have yep, and that's mark was like I'll have the same Oh, yeah, you know, that's a true story yep. Yeah, you've seen painting game Rocket you never seen it rock more juicy. It's the crazy. That's when the rock like What's up? He was bringing it here. Dude, wait, yeah. Like different. Like, he's like lean. He's just massive in this. Yeah, I think that was like the first time you saw him that big. Yeah.

Yeah, look at him. What's that one rock movie? I love it a lot. It's the one where he's got the little daughter. He's a football player. Um, two-th place. Okay, anyway, okay, I love that movie. See, Walbur got juicy too for that. Damn. That's a great fucking movie. Oh,

Mackey is huge. What's Mackey at? Oh wow. Look at the Mackey. Papa Doc. Papa Doc. Papa Doc. Papa Doc. Fuck the free world man. Look at the rock. I know. Jesus.

That's. Yeah, Mark. That's great. That's. Ah. Yeah, Mark Walbert came to this movie, painting, painting, painting, painting. What's in our wildest story? It's all over. It's all over. Yeah.

Wildest story. I'm going to watch it tonight. But yeah, Mark Walbert schedule is crazy, right? Like he's going to wait until like 3 30 or something. Yeah, he like works out for two hours and then he has breakfast. He prays. He does much work. He takes like a midday nap He's a he's schedule is insane. It's I think from like two in the morning to

Seven p.m. And then the rest of the time he's sleeping That's awesome. Go sleep at seven. Yeah. I Shit with kids. I've been bed by nine Sometimes when I got back five. Yeah, we got a lot of them. Yeah, yeah. It's a dude two kids on your own but you don't read it. Yeah. Do you live by yourself? No, I got to remember. Oh, okay. What else you got? You all right? So this, tell me if the story reminds you

of anybody you know. There was a man in Boston, Massachusetts who owned a pizza shop who was down on his luck during COVID signed up for a PPP loan. Got it. He then sold his pizza rhea, moved to Vermont, bought a farm, then bought a bunch of alpacas started to have an apaciform and the government found out that he was doing wire fraught and money laundering and now he is currently arrested. That's the stupid blue eyes day, right?

Is there money in Alpaca farms? I don't think so. I think this is like purely something that he wanted to do. He wanted to do. Like a personal thing. Just goddamn he's looking at if he's found guilty of both could get 40 years in prison, finds up 50 grand. Yeah, let me lock it up a lot of people.

Yes, especially those fake PPP loans. Mm-hmm. They don't fuck around What exactly is a PPP load? It's like payout protection plan. So like if you want a business When COVID hit because like everything went down. Okay, so like even for us it's like you know The first thing that would go when there's a like a Pandemic stuff like that is advertising which is what how we survive right? So if that gets cut in half or even less than that then the bank by K usually make this Which we realize you can't get so we'll give you a loan to make up for it so you can still pay your employees

So that's why he did took that money and then when he pretty Built up how much he spent a month because they'll look at everything and they probably gave him on a couple hundred thousand first piece I believe it was six hundred and sixty thousand dollars, which they gave him. Yeah, which is a ton But ton and then he went about a half What else you get Jin? Okay, so we're talking about this the other show now that Bill and Melinda Gates are officially finally for different voice. You're a brown-deleting tinder.

A bunch of fake dating apps with both of their pictures on it. Bra, how hilarious. They're dope. Ali, I can give you an exclusive third dose. I saw the funniest meme where it said, you know, so many people are going after Rogan for his vaccination shit. Yeah. And it, you know, it was like are going after Rogan for his vaccination shit. Yeah. And it, you know, it was like, oh, since when did Joe Rogan become a doctor?

The next headline was all this advice from Bill Gates as far as vaccines go. Yeah. Ain't a fucking doctor either dumbass. And then that would post all his shit like he was like fucking Fauci. Yeah. That's so true. That's so fucking true. But yeah, the memes around this is so funny.

There was a video going viral of this older white woman on a yacht throwing a bunch of money. And there's like a bunch of like young boys. You can't see her. Like showing her a good time. That's fucking funny. I wonder if Bill's just like, yeah, I'm trying to get a bad bitch, man.

You think he can get a bad bitch? Yes. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. What Yes You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're like a mountain He's like Dr. Evil. There's like underneath tunnels and shit. Is this crazy crib? You see Dm Bill Gates. Yeah, he Dm Bill Gates. He's a K You went to redhead so I can send it to my thought it was fucking Who's oh the LVMA LVMA people LVMA it was an art I think that's the Louis Vuitton and people who are on

Oh damn damn isn't there am I right? LVMA's doing it on like Louis Vuitton and a lot of other exclusive stuff Yeah, people don't realize like all those like upper echelon like fashion rounds are all under Oh shit like fashion grounds are all under one. Yeah, you're right. Oh shit. Oh, they're on Hennessy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're all they see that see they don't Louis Vuitton. Selene. Selene. Mark Jacob. Do you? Yep. All that. That's crazy. Yeah. I wonder if Bill Gates just seen you at a bad Instagram thought. He will. Maybe to me, seeing a lot of things. You're still a weird. I know. Yeah, that's why I do if I see him

I feel like he already has one. Oh damn I'm gonna tear in it if I was if I'm here because he got money. Well, he raised 57. Yeah, 65 65 wait. Oh, Bill gay. I think it's like late 50s 57 65 oh you're right 65. Oh, I think it's like late 50s, right? 57. 65. Oh, you're right. 65. Yeah, I was like, oh, baby. Bezos at 57.

I go, if I was Bill Gates, Bezos got a baddie though. I go, I go hard for like three years or 65. Yeah, I, I go two years in the paint, hard as fuck, and then I find a wifey. Jeff Bezos 57 with that sniper eye. And then, and then

And then he started not when he was married they're like separate started dating that it was she like a not a weather girl But like a news reporter. Yeah, and then then she also has a cock guy Didn't his wife marry like a basic science teacher. Yeah, man I could have been dog got on to look at her. Oh, you are oh, they both got it both fucking Camille and I see He's like damn girl. I see that I I was looking across the way. I got my good eye on you look at him. Yeah, he he definitely upgraded Yeah, yeah, she's a bad it and then her brother Black man Him because he was sending her dick pics. I mean you know Jeff Bezos. What's fucking said a few dick pics So he was sent her dick pics that her brother got a hold of them. I mean, you're not Jeff Bezos, I'm fucking set a few dickpigs. So he was setting her dickpigs and her brother got a hold of them.

And they was trying to blackmail Jeff Bezos. How did her brother... Like, he was like, if you don't give me money, I'll put these up. I'm like, Jeff Bezos, I'm out. Jeff Bezos is like, do it, bitch.

I'm about to have the dick. Right, I'm about to have the dick. I'm about to have the dick. You're a bigger dick, right? I'm scared of you. Put them out there. You're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Christian was right. The girl that was being a douchebag to the cop was, at least that she was white, there's a blacker. She was white. That thing is so blurred out. Yeah, and it made her look white. Her voice. Her voice sounds white.

Her voice does sound white. That's why I was excited and guessing. He's like, oh shit, maybe they're right. Maybe I just didn't see it, but they're not a guy who looked back and I saw the hand of it. Yeah. That's a good catch.

You wanna see it real quick? And then she goes, you never be white. I only sighted you for using your cell phone while you're yeah, that's good. You want to see real quick? Well, it's good. You'll never be white I'm sorry for using your cell phone while you're driving. That's it. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense Oh Here oh, yeah No, that one she's black. Yeah Because the one we saw the face was blurred And then her voice was you'll never be white. So I figure is another white person saying that.

Yeah, because we're all like, oh, that's definitely a white girl. And the Christian was like, oh, she's black. I'm going to take these a little maggot. Yeah. Where was this at? Like a zoo's or something, right? What's that? I was out here.

Oh, damn. That's all that. What's that like college? Probably not anymore. Yeah. Hmm. Oh, there you go. She's a dumbass. She's not what's LA college Brian on the more Well, there you go she's a dumbass. She's not what Hey, me teacher talking all that she's so she's a teacher. Yeah, she's a professor. Oh Praying fire. Yeah, so irritating. Yeah

All right, Chad Ocho Cinco is gonna be boxing on the undercard for Logan Paul versus So I don't want this you know, I love that this out because I found out about this like two weeks I'm like god damn it Who's he fighting? No, no word yet. No, most likely just another athlete or celebrity. Oh he probably might do good Does he need money? He probably spend on money. I think it's a I think it's a sum for them to do I think I literally think a lot of these athletes just board as fuck and just something like a passion like project Ted oh just single who be skateboarding you made a ton of money yeah he got skateboarding he should fight Kishon Johnson they like the same age oh that'd be cool who's Kishon Johnson play that SC was the number one pick in the draft

Or Steve Smith who Steve Smith would be cool or who didn't chat out of issues with some cornerback on his plan I forget I wonder who he's gonna fight cuz What card is Lamar Odom and Aaron Carter? I'm not that card Carter on not that car It's a night. Yeah, it's crazy. I pray to God. He's not on that car who? Aaron Carter I can't I got to draw the line. Oh, God. Oh, thank God. It's on it's on It's like These two Go stand different. Look at that fly. You're these two do they have fly

Like why is there in card fighting off? You've not dropped to no good. Then the Marrow to why is he fighting for money clearly to buy math like it's like fuck I'm just gonna look at I know that's a worse. It's the worst You even have to like no saying that serious. No It's a nightmare I get horrible No nightmare. It's on Dog nobody's I always say so you're seeing me a slippery box of match and easy on the celebrity But if you're seeing me in a slippery box of match things ain't going well the podcast ain't pop in the merchant selling

I'm not selling any tickets on the road That shit is so depressing to me. Oh. All right, we were just talking about this dude. Show Hey Otani. And he, I guess he did something that was like, really hard to do. Oh, you talking about the Chinese kids? Japanese.

Japanese. Yeah, so I'll play this for you. I guess a ground ball, it's hard to get to second base if you just do a ground ball He got it done. So I'll just play real quick 1985 there's a 1985 Another old two from glass now Facebook God damn hell yeah, he's safe there and they also hit him home run here

And then he also pitches this is what's fucking he's like a Yeah, he's a pitcher does both That's what I'm saying that he's a beast He's like a throwback Japanese Babe Roo So crazy just doing both Dude, I know he's massed and they got fucking trout too like fuck i'll buy his fucking jersey hmm where he's Chinese

Japanese all by Japanese jersey not by Chinese he'll be made in China probably but I mean he's shoes are made in China yeah all of our shoes are made in China so much so much of what we have is made But in China. Come on Nike. All right, so there's another teacher that had sexual relations with kids. Oh, she Bad, but she looked like so I'm gonna wait so they're 13 to 16 and she was a cafeteria worker. So some of the

Never been a hot girl. Yeah, working in the cafeteria making sloppy jails ever. In the history of schooling ever. Bro, even at 13 to 16, I wasn't looking at the cafeteria. No, most people weren't at that time. Not never, but they're always really nice. They are. They always made those square pizzas. Yeah, they hook you up with it.

Like, I get the square pizza, they give me two of them, they give you a dog. I'd wash it down with a strawberry milk. And she was fired. But they're mostly like, you look at him as grandmas or ants, that kind of stuff. Yeah, older. So she would let them watch porn and then give him alcohol.

And then she did have sexual encounters with some of them. So this is her. Oh. That's a bad one. It's 38 years old, by the way, 38. Yeah, that's the most shot out 38 years ago. I'd be my son as. Hell yeah, but what's wrong with you?

I'm sure it was a good time. Damn, man, you can do better. She was bad. We'd all be like, oh good for the kids, but I just feel bad for them now. But sometimes there's some baddies when you look like, oh, Josh and Randy ran a train on fucking teacher Amy. Like, let me see Amy, is some dying piece look like, oh, you know, Josh and Randy ran a train on fucking teacher Amy. Like, let me see Amy. Is some dying piece on like, they don't, Amy.

Well, that's wrong. Right. Can you not get anywhere else? That's what's funny about it. Like, why them? Because they're popular. They're fucking school. Dude, can you imagine me in high school, you and your best friend run a train on the English

teacher? Okay, wait to tell. Everybody's about to know. Oh, okay. Everybody. Everybody's about to know. Oh, do everybody know? Everyone, their mom. There weren't teachers in your high school

that like hooked up with when they were of age. There were no teachers. Never. Really? There was like three, there was one teacher that legit went through the entire football team. Was she hot? So bad.

Oh, wow, that's cool. And then there was like another one. I'm not obviously I'm not saying names, but she Literally was going to leave her husband for one of the kids at like she was oh she met this was a different teacher She meant to heal she'll leave her husband and kids for a 16 year old. Yeah Someone got shot where it was a student in a teacher And I think the student went to their the house and and was the husband that shot them or something like that? You ever hear that?

No. So sometimes you're going to point it out. I know we had a, he was like, oh he's the lacrosse girl's coach and he was like, young girls, that was the only room where I heard he was fucking like all the lacrosse girls. And I was like, yeah, what do you guys think was happening? Right, right. He's way to into women's lacrosse. That's how it was, right?

No, that was high school, though. That was a bit of a rich school. Well, I'm not really a cop. Public school, Aurora. I'll call her a cop. Nathan Dunlap, alumni, Chuck E. Cheese shooting. Oh, God. That was a horrific one, yeah.

How about I lived in the apartments behind where Chuckie cheese How we used to go to choose all the time and then where his first victim who shot in the face played dead brand of those apartments That's why I live oh wow. Yeah, we were young remember this helicopters everywhere out so scared. Yeah, yeah Yeah, Chuckie's cake is legit. Yeah, you speak I mean speak fun that mouse back on its creepiest fuck It was like oh, yeah, it does a dance And had that huge hose sticking out from its helmet to its back or something like that Turn into a salad and soup place. Yeah, oh, I just saw this. I know Stevie knows this guy Yeah, so I just saw this I know Stevie knows this guy Yeah, Stevie knows I'm well. Stevie's gonna do a podcast with him. Yeah, here's what's interesting about George Jun

So you know the movie blow you've seen blow yeah, so that's like that's Johnny Depp in blow So he was actually transitioning to a female what yeah, yeah, how to set a tit Really that's what I that's what I heard that people are the close situation I'll try to spread rumors especially on it. I heard it was a great part. That's what I heard Yeah, Stevie woke up and found out this morning. It was the refellower So so Steve you know Stevie blue eyes is I see the moon Yeah, so he Did some time and his cellmate was Georgia. Oh, wow. Yeah, they saw like right to each other and shit,

and then pen pals and shit. And Stevie was gonna do a podcast with him, but yeah, he was not feeling well, so he couldn't like drive. So he's like, I'll zoom in, and I'm like, don't do a zoom all podcast. Stevie, okay. Oh, yeah, I mean, he's bummed out.

He unfortunately has a long history of friends, just kind of like. Oh, yeah. I I mean we got little Yeah true If that blow movies any you know Is it most is there's truth to it? He'll do lived a fucking life me right makes a horrible decisions, but right hopefully his daughter talked to him before I move it sad when he's going to prison for a long time and call it that ending cried yeah that he got hurt me yeah so sad so sad it's so sad never seen it oh it's a

good movie really good movie really good movie you definitely watch it all right I don't know how legit this is but this bar story posting it so this is like the worst gender reveal ever and I can't play the music so I'll just play this for you real quick Jesus he just keeps missing and missing come on big boy. Is that these are Cali? And he also he throws it himself too I mean come on Like that you can't even hit it there. How can he not hit it? That was it.

So then he never hit the fuck out of it. There's no updates. You ever seen the people that do that? And then they like, die or some shit. Like there's one with fireworks. They started a fire. Fire is for sure. There's one dude who did it and like, they all died.

Yeah. What are the fires in California? Was like one that they get fire. Yes. Yeah. Oh, the one last year. So idiot not to long ago used a pirate cannon to fuck yeah And he got killed I'm like that's what you get For real like you just be cool man. Yeah. Did you do anything for me? I think the football like some easy safe shit. Yeah. Did you did you do anything?

I got a fucking cupcake my brother-in-law bought it, and then we cut in the middle, and the icing was gonna be blue or pink. Oh, that's yeah, yeah. I'm trying to fucking wet them. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's all.

Hey, show that video. Which one? Oh, the wild. Oh, shit. Yeah. Shit, pal, in the wild. Bro, the one that everyone keeps tagging me here. Oh, there's a video of you.

Wow, she was so cute. Look you this dude. I wonder five here this You know I can't take like so many people It's funny cuz I literally shoot like that The funniest comment they got a beer belly The funniest comment you got a beer belly That's really like Tracy Morgan's This is a hard brick You know I can play it all. Who's man?

I like how he's all serious too. He dead serious. Dead serious. What's he got his got out like that? I don't know. I like how the person does much of open. The wait, bro, like, I'm more athletic than him.

Yeah, yeah. Damn. That shit is hilarious. That's it hell yeah, we can be on tour dog. Yeah, I think come on dates I'm Vegas on next week that stratosphere We try to trick things around here Yeah, we try to turn things around here We the strap fan But then after that you're in Houston with us Yeah 20 to 27 right

Houston improv and then I'm in Shit when you guys listen this Kentucky, uh, Kentucky, Lexington, Kentucky, this week Thursday, Friday, Saturday, two, uh, one show, Thursday, two shows, Friday, two shows, Saturday, Lexington, Kentucky, uh, was it, comedy off Broadway and Kentucky, the Houston, Texas, this crew you see here, right now will be at the Houston improv, May 22nd. It's gonna be a beast of a show. Then Oklahoma City, uh, Brixton, comedy comedy club June 10th through the 12th ticket to FATKZ Dot com should come to fill in I'll see you this weekend

May 7th through the 8th and helium comedy club and then May 13th through the 15 good nights comedy club in Raleigh, North Carolina, shapel AC dot com for tickets. You've been talking to the boys at a suplex Yeah, I've been talking back and forth with them the homies, bro They're gonna yeah, they gonna show me around if they say that if you give you a pair of shoes for me Don't be mailing them back now put them in that Logger like stock X yeah, don't Don't mail them back. I get them back by these stock X like I would three weeks Talk about shoes, bro. I haven't been home in three weeks. It's got home yesterday that come to the pot

Bro somebody stole like $1,200 worth of stuff damn. I was so apart me towards some shit. Yeah, but it's been sitting after like two or three weeks You know that's also what you get yeah, where's your roommate at they were out of town what you get. Yeah, where's your roommate at? They were out of town. Damn. I was just nervous. I don't get robbed. And have you ever been robbed and then there's literally you tell stock apps, you're like, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a,

that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a not lazy and delivered to my actual door. That was it. The packages were there. But they left outside. These idiots left them in the lobby. Ugh. I remember I was a kid. My mommy's steel packages. So I'm on.

What? Yeah, she's just still the snake. Her neighbor played for the Broncos. The big ass black dude left tackle. She said, can't get you some socks. I was like, oh, don't. Mom becomes, she's like Nike. I open these bitches up.

They were. I just knew they were stolen, but I hope when these bitches up, they were like... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I just knew they were stolen, but I never say they went. Thanks, Mom. Yeah, I went to where, I'm gonna shut up to Mom. All right, dude, we love you, man. Yeah, if you should, Mom, we should look this y'all. We out.