The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 688

Episode Date: May 21, 2021

The guys talk Bryan and Shapel enrolling in MasterClass online courses, old street fight stories, nun chuck fights, checking out other girls while with their girl, thief who broke into UFC fighter Derrick Lewis' truck, Tyson Fury ordered to fight Deontay Wilder before Anthony Joshua, they play an all new game of Rate My State and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, kids? What's up? Thickies few housekeeping notes for you. As you're listening to this, I will be in Houston, Texas, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Houston improv with Chappelle, Laces out, Lacey and David Lucas, one hell of a show that is this week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, in Houston, Texas. And then Oklahoma's June 10th through the 12th, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Brickstown Comedy Club Also while you're watching us Brian Calons in Tampa, Florida right now Friday Saturday, Brian Calon

Tampa, Florida go see Rinks the master himself Go see him right now this episode of Fighter and the Kid is brought to you by direct hemp Listen CBD. It's all over. You have your favorite brands, or you've never tried it, whatever it is. You need an easy one-stop shop website, and that's why I'm here to tell you about Direct Hemp. Direct Hemp is like the Amazon of CBD and Hemp.

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on it.com slash fighter, 10% off the entire damn site of the best supplements you can put in your thick ass body on it dot com promo code fighter that's on it dot com slash fighter for temperson off the entire damn site. We're talking about masterclass on YouTube and I looked into one of the things I looked at was Christine Aguilar singing class. I don't want to be a singer. I'm just wasting time.

Wasting time. But I want to see what these master classes work. You got some bad motherfuckers, like Gary Kaspras. It's started with me. It's called a hustle. No, no, no. And what happened out of this? You know what I think of like, well, no, so I play chess with somebody and

lost terribly, right? And it's just Bob, I'm like, I wanna learn something about chess. And then I read, I saw him teaching the beautiful game of chess, I was like, maybe I'll take a class from the greatest chess player of all time. Because that's important. Yeah. Because I got time.

So I, like that, well, well, the 12-minute classes, and I stumbled upon Christine Aguilar's class, and you know I've always wanted to be a singer like her. Yeah, and I was watching I was like, hmm. That's a 12 minute class. The first class. I just said if you don't have talent to sing skip passes video Because that'd be the first. Well, I don't know how but wait, can you hear anybody something in? Hers is only 12 minutes. Well, the classes typically are between 10 and 12 minutes. I didn't know. 12 minutes abs. I took a Dustin Hoffman acting class

and it was like a bunch of like, I think like 30 minutes, like, really different. Are you sure about that? Yeah. Oh, it was 30 minutes. Yeah, I'm broken up. I'm not sure about that

because you went like this. Yeah, you did. Now you went like that. And now I was trying to find the way. And as you told us it was 10 minutes. And that is it. He said it was 10 minutes. Now Dustin guy would say he said it was 10 minutes. Now that's how it is.

You said it was about 20 minutes. Now happens, now we're coming down. You know what's going on? And the viewers are looking at this in HD. Everybody has morning face right now. Everybody has morning face. Everybody looks like they just got out of the pool filled with the glory.

I wake up before in the morning. I don't know why. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, and I'm like, oh, I'm awake now. I might have to sleep. The sleep doctor Yeah, can you see your eyes? Who sleeps all the way through the night?

I do, yeah, I can't. Do you have help with any kind of a drug? I did, I took some weed last night. I need to start doing that. This is how you are doing it. You know what? It's how early it is. No, literally, I wake up at 6.30 every day

Yeah, and I woke up at 7.48 which is very very rare Yeah, super late for me so you that's the one taking the 7.8. Yeah, cuz I bought this Carlos Santana His his weed or whatever and I'm sitting here like Carlos Yeah, my girlfriend out her heart was racing That's the magic warm mom. You have my girl freaking out her heart was racing. Oh, yeah, I'm like, oh, yeah. She's in high school.

And yeah, we were watching that we're still on Married at first sight. Oh, that's what I mean. So I moved on from there. I know, we need to give it up. Yeah, I saw that show. You saw that show too? Two seasons are good. But the one in COVID.

No, we just thought of one thing. The new one they're in COVID. Oh, so boring. We're watching the one in New Orleans. Did you believe that one's good? Yeah, that's the one. Do any of them work out though? Or like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they have like, some have kids. Yeah. Like I looked it up like, I stopped simulating. Does anybody work out? It's like the bad threat. Some

administrative have kids. Yeah. Yeah. 90 fiancee. Oh, that's stuff. Back to back to the. Yeah. Just the hoppin. It was great. So what did you want? Well, how many classes did you take from the Hoffman? It's a filming. You can't be a selfless actor. You got to be, I mean, you can't be a selfish actor. You got to be a selfless actor. Okay.

12 easy steps. Meaning, acting from Dustin Hoffman. I mean, Ben, what were you waiting to say? You have to be a selfless. You know how long ago it was, Brian. All right, it was in 2015 when I took it. Did you do it before you went to a real acting class because you've taken real acting classes?

No, I, that was during acting class. He drives me nuts as an actor by the way. You do? You don't say it? You don't like the rainman? He drives me fucking nuts. The rain's so good. The rain's so good?

I've been acting a long time and I've really worked at it. And when I, sometimes I can see people doing something, you know, who kind of when I watch Christian Bill I go holy fuck. Okay. I watch Daniel. They lose like a holy fuck. I watch Merle Street I go holy fuck. You know certain people that are like when I watched Joaquin Phoenix to the Joker I went oh my god and say and watch him feel You don't feel the love in like movies like crazy and Ray and man. He was great. He was Dick Tracy. He was it. The Digg was great. He's Dick Tracy. He wasn't the D dig trust he better

Lot of makeup. Yeah, I don't care But no, it's not that he didn't have it. He did some great Me to fuckers life. He did some great stuff Dude, he's loving him fucking Florida. Yeah, Gaylord Falkers They all those awards that would be one of the performances that drives me fucking I figured it'd be that one But have you seen Robert De Niro lately? He even came out and was like, I do all these shitty movies I don't want to do.

Yeah, just like you get this crazy chick. How about that? He spends money. How about that? How about that dude? I guess his wife is addicted to Stella McCartney's jewelry or something that's his ex-wife or something. Meanwhile, they say he's worth $500 million,

but he's like, no, no, no, I'm not. And also I have to take jobs to keep her. And how long, how much longer can you hold on to that? How much longer can you command the kind of prices you work commanding? Because who's going to a Robert De Niro movie? I mean, I would go like him and the Irish man was fantastic. But if he's not playing a mafia guy, I ain't trying to see it. Yeah, he's such a great actor.

I love him. No, I only do mafia kids. it. Yeah, he's such a great actor. I love him. No, I only do mafia kids. Yeah, well, you want to just stay in that pocket? Yeah, I do. Stay in your late. But like him doing like bad grandpa and shit, it's like it's sad. I'm your background.

It's like seeing Lamar Odom fight in a slurry box image. Yo, have y'all seen this movie? What's the actor from Gladiator? Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe's the beard. Have you seen the recent movie he did where he's like, I got an anger issue and it's like about road rays.

He goes around killing people. No, you ever see it? It's not bad. It's pretty crazy though. It's pretty crazy to move the other night on, cause me and my girls, we have nothing to watch. We're looking it up.

This movie has a 98% of Rotten Tomatoes. Jesus. It's only on Amazon. What you call? I think it's originally a Korean movie. Wasn't it? It's the kids, the kid, yeah, most terrible. His kids, you don't care.

You don't even know. I'm sorry, is it glad to hear it? It's not, okay, anyways. Shit, that's not, you can't. It's called, it's called, it's called, it's called, it's called, it's called, it's called, I'm telling you, it it clapping it up too? And it's early in the morning. Is it clapping it up too?

All the way down here. You're just storing it. I'm gonna see it's not gonna clean. I can't. That was flying. I was flying. I'm those birds in the forest. It's called gin G. J. I

Better be done. It's fuck if you like you don't like scary movies Oh the Koreans make a story you But it's it's the newer one that just dropped there's some other ones, but I'm pretty sure it's with a G J I and then There's the DJ I andN official trailer right there. Just came out. He has a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. It's only an Amazon, I think.

It's fucking good. It must've been the cheapest movie to make because it only takes place in a one bedroom apartment. Ooh. So the kid is a, the kid's a mute. He can't talk. And then they move into this new apartment and he finds like, you know, this like devil handbook,

and he makes a deal with the devil to cause his mom committed suicide. He wants to talk to his mom and get a voice, and then the thing goes, you can do this, but if you do it, there's sometimes there's consequences. I'm not gonna ruin the movie because a lot of people are gonna watch it. It's fucking good, man.

Damn. Like, it's hard to make you get, that he is not in the movie. I was like, really what is this thing? Like, on the one hand, that's not in the movie. That's sad. It's really, really, really. Korean movies.

The kids half Korean half white. Korean movies are heavy shit. Like Korean movies are always dealing with the most tragic. If like the way the most tragic you think it's going to end, it even gets more tragic than I'm scared don't be scared come here you scared movie me you know you pussy I just I mean I just keep say I'll see the same you're so mean you're

pussy you know girl don't like to smoke that uh fucking Carlos Santana we don't watch him scare away That we got undies and watch the movie it was it ramped you up. Oh, no, it ran me up. Oh, it just I just Huh, oh you fell asleep. Yeah, I'm good. This is a great cell. Yeah, I'm at the right I'm clocked out best TV show I've seen in such a long time such a long time zero zero zero Stephen, I just finished that. It's so good. It's zero, zero, zero. 100 million dollar budget. Yep.

Really? No one's even. Unbelievable. Unreal! And that actress is fantastic. You're boring, Grinnich. Unreal! It's amazing.

It really is amazing. I think it's really well done. That actress is something else. I don't know what her name is or what she does, but she's good as you get. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think it's really well done. That actress is something else. I don't know what her name is or what she does, but she's as good as she gets.

And it's only on Hulu, is that right? It's on Amazon. Amazon. Amazon Hulu, hey, just become one, huh? Let's just state each other and then form one thing and call it something else. I think it's based on how the Z-tas came to power, where special forces groups splintered off and and ran started running their own

Drug cartel and they were so ruthless like they like a journalist started writing about them and they were like see you They found her head on top of a laptop saying, you know, you know, just saying that right here You're writing is no good here. I mean, Jesus. They were all this is TV show. Yeah, it's like a mini movie. It's like it eight or 10 episodes. It's so it was so expensive to make. It's basically eight small movies. Yeah, you know, you don't want to be involved in the drug trade on the car. Oh, why not? How about you go to Mexico or the off here? you know, it's fun in Mexico, you know, uh, uh, nine out of 10 murders go unsolved. Well, there you go.

Really? Yeah. Go to Mexico. I haven't been to Mexico forever. Why would you? And my girl hates what I say this, but why would you go? She wants to be my kids. I'm like, well, no, but we're not doing it.

She goes, why you go well because the federalities out there, they don't play by the same rules. Who do we call? If we have issues, you go out there to cause trouble though. I look like a giant Mexican. They look for me, dog. Yeah. I mean, it's no joke. It's scary.

Well, that's how you've been in Mexico. I've been many times and I find it nerve-wracking. Every time? And when people drive through, they're like, we're driving down to Mexico. Well, no. What armored caravan are you driving in? But also, what do you go for? I like the fish tacos.

Yeah. Consenio. We go to San Diego. San Diego. San Diego right there. It's great. You have been a lot. Cabo a lot, right?

Sure. Unless I have the Mexican Marines with me, not going. Yeah, and let's take these. Can I be holding my pocket? Yeah, I'm not going. Unless I'm in a platoon the Mexican Marines with me, not going to really can be holding my pocket I'm not going unless I'm in a platoon of Mexican Marines. Yeah, see only group that That they oh you know fun now is uh, well they were there was a special force team that was battling the cartel And then they found all the money. Oh man these guys making way more money is you know what we should do

Let's start our own cartel because we know how to fight those of the Zetas and they started a new cartel and they're all special forces. So that's really fun out there. But now here's the organized. But now here's the prom papa, is they like to get crazy and we sent some of our own agents down there

and they were, oh cool, on American well why not kill him because we kill everybody? Let's torture him and cut his head off. And then Narcos makes season three, Mexico, about it, where season, whatever. But we'll do a season off that, and we're gonna kill this American. Well, when you kill Americans,

then our special forces get involved. And obviously you're way better than the Mexican special forces, so we go down there and we fuck shit. Right, sure. Yeah, but not now what happens is because you kill off the main guys who are running everything, who are smart, and they're shits up. Right, shut up. Yeah, but not now what happens is because you kill off the main guys who are running everything, who are smart and they had everything under control. It gets atomized.

So what happens is the cicareos, those hitmen, they're like, well, I'll take over this, and then they get these guys like, well, I'm gonna peel your face off and videotape. And your family's, you know what? It's not, the message is getting through clear enough to ring kill all your family and rip their faces. Yeah, I mean, it's what? It's not the message in the end through Claire and I, so we're gonna kill all your family and rip their faces. Yeah, I mean, it's just,

but then, but here's the problem is, so when they take out like the, like to his point, when you take out the leader, like El Chappo, well, as two young sons went, well, we can do this, and they can't, but they can't, or they, it's a business. Well, they have their GDs and you need a master's,

so you get a guy who has a GD run in the business now. So it's just kids. Yeah, they just kill everybody's like, let's just shoot it. You know, it becomes because like El Chappo would never do it. Like his son's when I was actually staying there, I think it's called one. I forget what the name of the hotel. I was staying there and this is great way to go. And he goes, oh, you're staying there. Look at this.

It sends me an article that El Chappo's son like two doors down for me his sons There's these kids these young kids like tiktokers or whatever Instagrammers We're pretending that they were in the cartel and showing money flashing money sitting in the part of the game Oh, well El Chappo sons went oh, we know exactly where that's that and they go and find them and murdered them on the spot No, yep, yeah, and that's something El Chavo. It never did because he's running enough tight business Right. That's not yeah, let's just not kill random people right because then it brings attention. Yeah Yeah, and I've talked to this You talk to me to watch narco season. Oh watch it

You talk to people down in Mexico, though who are on restaurants and I talk to come on Do you get what how do you deal with the cartels and they say they pull up in their black yet SUVs? They come in they eat they tip us really well and then they leave so typically if you stay out of their business for the most part Yeah, you'll be alright. It's money and peace and cute until here's the problem They go somebody goes hey, do you want to come for us because you can make more money and then if you say no There are consequences for that. You'll have to be worth. You'll have to be worth. But that's why they're the worst.

They're the worst. You guys talk to Joanna about it in Guadalajara, how she'd be in nightclubs, and then the cartels come in. And they come in, and they want the hottest girls. What Joanna has this ridiculous ass. So like, oh, we want her. She's like, oh, cool. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

Goes the bathroom, and then just goes out the window and never came out. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's it. Because that doesn't end well. Well, you go in with your cauliflower ears and go, you guys want to do some Tusslein? Yeah, because they're all like, you know, skinny fat builds. You know, they're not skinny fat.

Yeah, they're not winning any marathons. But they have weapons. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're gonna peel my skin off. Well, thanks for this information, guys, you know. So this is the longer we tell you we bought you a trip to Mexico. Your girl. Last time I went to mix I think I was 20. Yeah yeah I just you know I went down there in my brother-in-law. People are great and everything else but we went down there and

those resorts are just it's not I was eating. Yeah we went to a big all-inclusive resort with my extended extended family. It doesn't blow you away. I'm eating. First of all, no, but also I'm eating. I'm like, this food doesn't, this meat is something wrong. Well, it was others.

It was utter. Talutter. It was cow water. He goes, it's utter meat. I go, I don't want other meat. I don't want that impossible vegan meat. No, it's utter meat. It's utter, so I was eating the utters.

And it's too hard. And you got to chew hard and you got to suck. But anything that you can get in Mexico, you can get here. My brother, man, the steak of getting a drink with ice. And from with the ice is that the ice got water that's not, you shouldn't be ingest. I'll die, re-eyes.

He was so sick, he was so fucking sick, he couldn't, he thought he was gonna die, he thought he was gonna die. Like all I heard in this, he's going, ugh, ugh, I'm never coming here again. Those margaritas, puppy, those margaritas. Yeah, dude, when they make up the ice. Where's shit in our Mexico, which sucks, and that's not what we're trying to do.

It was just, I thought it was beautiful. It's a great place with great people. It's just that if you don't have to navigate. to do. I thought it was beautiful. It's a great place with great people. It's just that if you don't have an advocate. I did, I thought it was beautiful. If you don't have an advocate, you can be in trouble. I entered a hot-bod competition. Oh, you got second?

Yeah, really? That was like 19. Oh, wow. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Can I give, do you have any shots of you when you were 19? We all, we all rips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kids doing backflips.

Is that right? Is that right? There you go. I'll try to search to try to search me. Come on. Let's see. She's right city. Dude, cheerleading. Look at that. He's super authentic. Is it top on the bus one? Yeah Look at him. I know look at that. Yeah. What's up? Whoa? I was a hell was I Did that I think I was 22 Oh, look at him, we did it Look at this, look at this

Yaga insane Dude, that's crazy I know, hunkers listen to music That's so crazy, what you way there? Right there, I think I was like Look at that, just jazzy Yeah, those are my friends God, that's amazing Yeah, I was 22 and I think I weighed

Good god, dude. Damn how much of that way there I can't remember what the fuck? How did you? Look at this oh You get back to that right now No way I could ever get back to 100% get back to that you got. No way I could ever get back to that. 100% get back to that. Get back to that. You got to next guy. 19. But he could still get shredded. No, he can get shredded.

That. I don't think I can get that, buddy. Yeah, he could. No, if you clean up your diet, you get shredded. You got more muscle now than you did that. But I don't know if I want to be that skinny again. No, that's a nightmare. Yeah, that's a nightmare.

What is that? He's 10 pounds. Hey, don't be trying to give me to your level. I would love to be, that I like you very big. Hey, I'm not even trying to be shitty here. What are you about, 165? I weigh 172. Why do you do it?

Why do you do it? Why'd you go like this, are you wearing shoes? Like that, don't. It's just so, don't call it a rail. Nope, it's not a rail. I think they're, I'm wearing 172. I'm made of raw hide and cable. Raw hide and I'll rust and bones. Yeah, I'll cut you to ribbons with my elbow

Sure, you want to get cut to ribbons when when we get off the show you and I should grab I would love to grapple with Yeah, because I'm gonna tell you something in no book I'll pass back though my my body is I'll cut you to ribbons Yeah, bang We at the party that guy goes here not that Frank yeah my friend was a guy who is very jacked up and he's out of his mind with me and my buddy was in his face and kept this guy was a warm guy and had been to stuff also jacked be why I'll miss with this With

Jack and my buddy's going yeah, and the guy goes please please don't do that. I don't like people in my face And he goes oh you don't like me anyways So yeah We did this weird thing and my friend went flying We did this weird thing and my friend went flying Cheap and hot and high man. He went flying and landed like this And then just laid there he lay it like that He was dead like this. I just saw as jeans are crumpled up his butt and his jeans Everything crumpled up around his ass and he was just lying there. I was like well my friends

And he was just lying there. I was like, what, my friend? He's dead. He's so embarrassing. My friend's dead. So he just went, no. Yeah. I mean, for real? Like, he did this to martial arts. I was, you could see the guy.

It's so much fun. It's what he's seen the guy. I felt better. He was laughing so fucking hard. And then my friend, who's tough guy, was just lying there, didn't move with his jeans off front, but that's what makes it funny, too. And then he got up and he was his party.

And he goes, yeah, you're lucky. You're lucky. You're lucky. Was he was his party and he goes, yeah, you're lucky. You're lucky. You're lucky. Was you were the parley? Thank you. When was this? Two years ago.

His girl was like, petting, it's okay, baby. And he goes, no, I just don't like people. I was like, come over here. I was like, come over here. Let me help you. Let's get some ice and some towels for the, for the, yeah, the PTSD. It was scary.

She was a war veteran. It scared the fuck out. He's his way. But like, like I'm just gonna get my war veteran. It scared the fuck out. But like, like I don't get my fucking face. I know you said that pit bull. Dude, no, it was fucking gross. I just instinctively know not to fuck with some people, right? Yeah, certain people you just know.

You can still, but I see a bunch of cartel guys rolling. I'm gonna, or, you know, whoever they might be, or like bikers, I'm gonna be like, like I saw these Mongols were hanging out on the beach. Mine though, business big, but big, rough looking dudes. Yeah, of course there are some ratings. They're cool, they're cool, just hanging out.

I'm not gonna, but I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna catch an eye and keep looking at the guy. You understand? You got a problem over there, Bubba? Yeah, what? They're all white. Yeah, I'm also not gonna just, I'm not gonna lock eyes with any of those, I'm not gonna go,

I'm not looking at where until he does. I'm never doing that. No, never, never. Some people do weird shit like that. For me, I can, it's like, it's an ego thing. It's an ego thing. Well, I thought, for me, it's not, I'll drop my ego. I'm an anthill open, the lions are over there.

Yeah, I'm keeping my mouth out. But even with me, like, you know, when those hells angels came to the fucking, I think I was in India and they were in the VIP line. They all had their hells-angels jacked up. There's like a prospect. And he goes, what, you what? India, the years ago.

And he goes, hey man, we own the strip club here and the, once you come, let the birds suck you off. Oh my God. The birds. They're like, it's worth girls. Yeah, she's like the birds are eating. And I was like,

is that code word they're sucking dick? Or, yeah, I was like, see you there and you know, Jay, we should go. Oh yeah, Jay's always, yeah, I'm like, Jay's always trying to go on an adventure. I'm like, Jay, no. Yeah, just essentially to talk to a hell's angel,

because really the only way you know, that they're normal fucking people. Yeah. But the only way you know them is from movies. Right, yeah, but they're normal. Well, it's like that guy who talked to us about, who knows them and did business with. He goes, I said, what's it like when you, you know, he goes, grizzly bears, just grizzly bears.

I mean, he goes, just understand that they're grizzly bears and you're not a grizzly bear. So you can be around grizzly bears, if you understand how to behave around a grizzly bear. But don't think you're a grizzly bear. Will you get in trouble when you're working with lions or you're working with grizzly bears if you understand how to behave around a grizzly bear. But don't think you're a grizzly bear. Will you get in trouble when you're working with lions or you're working with grizzly bears? Where you go?

Yeah, you're like, I'm a lion too, or I'm a grizzly bear too. Man, no, you just forgot. Now you're going to get fucked up. But I heard you, you know, I like to get down. You're ready to get down. I fight gangs instead. Yeah. I mean, I don't mean I'm in a criminal organization. I do get down Yeah, I heard you like yeah, you've you're seeing Jim carrying cake as to

No, I'm gonna see I'm gonna see that's bright. Here's the one thing. I will Here's the one thing I will do if you're my friend and we're about when it's gonna get bad I'll be next to you. So you, I'll be next to you. You're gonna hit the, see what happens. I got some, I'll surprise you. Oh yeah, there's Brian right there. Where am I, which one?

And be careful, man. He respects me. He starts a like a justice league of just regular people. Yeah, like super heroes. Yeah, but they have no skill set. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, but yeah, but they have no skill set Go though Is this new no kick-ass to 2015 looks like a good idea. I've never seen the first kick-ass first kick-ass is really good I really got one's not bad. He's like no one's pretty solid. I didn't realize I was Jim Carrot. Oh, he's great in this

Yeah, he's a he's a big guy, man. He's like six three Jim Jim yeah, that's Brian right there. Yeah, I Can use a bow staff. I'm not gonna lie to you. You kid? No, oh I'm not gonna lie to you. You can never indatry traditional martial arts You know what I did mart was doing numb trucks as a kid I'll never forget this I was just I was really good at numb trucks and my father goes my father had big guy Yeah, and he goes goes what are you doing with those and I go I was gonna go somewhere and he said I don't want you going over there

I said it's okay I have num trucks and my father said I've had I said your num trucks are not gonna do anything it's an adult and I said yes they are and I was I was probably 12 or something like and my father goes no I go I could knock out anybody with these and he goes you want to try to knock me out and I go yeah I will and he goes And he goes, you want to try to knock me out? And I go, yeah, I will. And he goes, and he goes, all right, you try to hit me. I'm going to come at you. And I remember my mother going, Mike, don't, Mike. And I was swinging.

I just started going, I'd seen Bruce Lee and I'm doing this. Yeah, yeah. My dad just literally went like this. He just went in and just got, took him away from me. He's like, you're a needy. I was so flabbergasted in bed. I was like, and I remember I never swung num chucks again. To this day I can swing the fuck out of num chucks.

I never did it again. I'll bring in my pair. I have a pair. I'll bring in your pair of num chucks. Real pair. I'll show you titanium. Right now I can do. I have a titanium pair.

But I was like, nah. But I know how to use them. You can use, I'll tell you how they're good. If you come up behind somebody with a pair and just go, gang! Yeah. Yeah. But they're like,

they're like, chokes somebody with it maybe. Yeah, but I'm not gonna be, you know. I was always curious if that did work. Ah, man, I don't think so. Not against that guy. Like if a dude's running at you. I don't think so.

And that joke works a knife and a gun. If you've got to do it. That's pretty unforgiving. You don't see a lot of numb chucks in the streets No, you don't you don't think they're legal here. They're legal here. Yeah, yeah, California I'm like no one uses though as a web what what is this now? Crazy fight with none chucks in Bulgaria. Oh, yeah, yes. Oh look I think let's see some right there here. Oh Where hang on this guy this guy has it see there goes. Oh

You feel like You're getting one shot off. Yeah, you know, and even then it's not like all right, you better land it look at the I watch the guy oh That's what would happen. That right and I saw dude I saw dude with a baton. Oh I saw guy with a baton Bob and we even I guys all black years come on numb trucks. Yeah Thank you The streets of

Thank you. You got your chug. Dude, who's the streets of fucking Serbian, dumb chug? That man. I saw dude, I saw you. You can't bump in. I saw a legal here too, right? I think so, yeah.

Yeah, it's like when something's in adrenaline's going, you're not gonna really fucking yeah, I saw a guy with a baton. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Here's Brian.

Oh, shit. Oh, but it's only a front facing camera. Oh, man. Dude, wait, the way you're screaming, oh, he but it's only front facing camera. Oh man Wait the way you Yeah, I don't know man that that's not what I'm afraid of no nub trucks Yeah, I'm like a little stressful of shit. I know I used to watch these videos of the studio Well here strikes with nub trucks. Wait, where? Stupid this stuff is important. I'm gonna go down the rabbit hole.

Wait, oh, I thought you brought the play to video. No, do us all a favor. I don't get it. I tell you what really works, and I saw recently, I saw what Pepper Spray does. Oh, no. You're being hit with Pepper Spray? Oh, I, well, I don't know if I told you this story,

so I'm, I come out of a show, I'm in Venice. I come out of a show, taking pictures, fight over here here There was a tall very handsome black man. I was speaking to I think was doing security at the venue I'm trying to be general here But he's a very good-looking guy who also happened to have been a singer and was showing me video of him Rapping in Venice and he was really good But more importantly because I'm a little bit gay. I was admiring his bone structure and his and his face Yeah, you know he's very good-looking guy But more importantly, because I'm a little bit gay, I was admiring his bone structure and his face.

You know, he's packing. Very good looking guy. Yeah, like just one of those dudes who just look like an easy maybe six three, but just handsome and dressed cool. Yeah, so I'm sure, hopefully. No, I know it. And it felt that way, anyway. We bring it up as good. It felt that way.

It's that big dick energy. So I'm watching these two guys in a shoving match and it becomes loud. And then there's a girl who is kind of getting in the way of this. And the black gentleman I've been talking to, crosses the tree casually, is going to get in his car and says, you guys should move on. You're making too much noise. This is a residential area. One of the guys gets pushed. He walks over there because the girl kind of starts harassing him. The girl, the guy who got pushed, turns on the black guy and gets in his face and puts his hand

on his chest. And the black gentleman who I'd been admiring very casually went, like that, like lazy, shan shan, just kidding. He make me be a deal. I don't know. I just heard from you. I was. I was.

That's what he called. The fucking noise. Never seen, never seen, never seen, never seen, never seen, never seen, never seen, never seen. Oh, dude, oh, dude, watch, it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never seen it, never She comes over and goes you mother and look go she she cocks her fist and he goes Super casual Great it's way better. It gets way better. I stopped taking pictures. I Go across the street, but now I'm a little bit like this guy is a professional

Yeah, and he's gonna do this me for the round the block So I come up with my hands up and I go, hey, what's going on? No magic spray. What's on the magic spray? And he turns to the girl and goes, wash your eyes out with milk, you'll be fine. And then he gets in his car. I go, dude, the cops, he goes, cops love me around here, no more about it.

It just gets in his car and goes, let's go and some other people get in the car. And he casually just goes, do you, pulls that, you jumped in his car? No, I'm not. I'm not. Wow, dude, just goes do you pose about you jumped in this car no I'm I'm looking at these I watch this guy just kind of casually drive off and I'm like um now there's a gal here and I've got some friends behind me there's this guy I don't care about the guy because he's crawled over to a foyer and he's over there he was an asshole uh-huh the girls here so I say

does anybody have any water? My buddy Terran gives me some water. So now I'm pouring water in her eyes and I'm trying to keep her calm telling her she's going to be okay. She's drunk. She's drunk. Apparently she used the N word. I was just going to say. And I hear that. But my friend who'd been there earlier said, she said something like, where's my my you know blah blah blah and she it was something derogatory did you take the water back no I did not I kept right here's the problem I kept washing her eyes out water doesn't do it doesn't do it oh shit now my girl my girl gets somebody drives by my girlfriend with a

full-feet you water bottle and smashes it on her while they're driving on your girl so she's all bunched up. She knocked her down. Knocked her down. The water knocked her down? She does. She got shot. Some guy at some asshole just drove by and went, we haven't on video, but I couldn't make it on the show.

At the girl? At his girlfriend. At your girlfriend. You got to get a 20 yards down the road. So she's in the car, she goes, I just got to hate, come on. So I'm like, what? It's got to eat what it's also feed you, water. It hurt, but it was sealed.

And they drove by it. If you see a drunk guy, a guy goes, bow. It's a heavy as well. You've done hurt. And they've been doing it all all we found out they've done it to several other women Which is just hitting girls and a few you want assholes. So so either way Fiji a bottle of water You are a keeper club you get the 12 bag of Fiji from Costco Yeah, I was like 30 bucks, man.

Here's the problem when you're a good Samaritan. I got in the car, we go to eat. Well, the whole time I get to the thing and, well, my nose and my eye start to burn. Pepper, yeah. Just from standing next to you. Yeah, well, I was helping and I was, and whatever I got in my hands, now it's inside my nose.

It's so intense. And then I put water water water makes it worse Yep, you gotta have milk so so I had to sit there and just my face was on a thigh Yeah, have you never? I'm out of pepper spray. No, we were clean up my grandpa's After he passed away my dad's clean out his garage and there's this old pepper spray It's like I don't from the fucking forties, but keeps, and my dad's the up for it. But it keeps. My dad doesn't know that, and he's like, she's like, you mean my brother's stand behind him.

He's like, does this thing even, he's like, I don't think it works. And he spray it that way, and the wind went, let's do it. And so I'm spraying that way, and the wind's going, so I'm like, what are we doing? And then just writing the eyes. Yeah. Writing the people.

Writing the people. I was like, seven. How long's it last? Oh, four and a half. Way too long. Right the people, dude. Right the people. I was like, seven. How long was it last? Oh, four hours. Way too long. I'm still suffering from it today. Yeah, I see the eyes. Look at my eyes.

I gave my ex, Pepper Sprite, and my daughter, when she was six, seven, found it, sprayed herself. And went in with seizure. It was really bad, man. They had to wash her. Oh, it's no pose. It's no pose. Because she thought it was like lipstick or something.

Have you guys been pepper sprayed? Oh, you have? Yeah. I was in a fight in Huntington Beach with a bunch of white dudes and they pepper sprayed me. Yeah. And then they ran away. It's an interesting move to pepper spray.

Yeah. It was a work. It's very effective. It's a bitch move. It was a bitch move. Yeah, you're not fight if you're in touch with a fight and then spray. But yeah, fight. It was a bitch. Yeah, you're not right if you're in touch to fight and then spray Yeah fight you're gonna

You're gonna and then I'm I'm putting the boots to your ribs. If I got to fight the big boy over here Do you keep? I don't want to do that. I don't want any trouble. I really don't And now it's soccer soccer rid and then my out of fix with And then my nights So is my morning and your night and morning night and morning night and morning I'm not you're not getting no. I have spray for bears. They do have spray for like 20 feet You know see that's what they say you can't have you ever seen a bear?

Have you ever seen how big they're in the building? They'll just spray the bear well the bear Here is here. It's a huge building. I wonder if it's work. Well, you got to human that soft, squishy note. Yeah, apparently it does work better than they say, you're better off with pepper spray. When a charging mama bear is coming at you

or a big man, apparently it does work, but it's foam and it'll spray from a distance, right? So you're just like, but it's a can like this, all good. I, I, there, a guy did get attacked and he said, I sprayed the shit out of her, but she's still, she's still getting the walls and the fun. They'll, they'll, they come at the dome here. Yeah, yeah. They come at the dome and you're, you're in some trouble. Well, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they've got that same spray for like hornets and this too, where it's real far away. Have you seen that?

No. They say it's supposed to work like someone breaks in your house, have a can of that. Cause you can shoot from fucking 30 feet away. A horn spray or a horn spray. That's just works on burglars. Yeah, cause it's far, far away. And it really fucks them up.

Yeah. You need like the 30 foot spray. I have one of them. Well, it definitely works on Spider-Man. What? Sorry, I guess. Sorry, man. That's coming. That's coming. And the Ant-Man. Hey, let me have it. Let me have it. Let me have it. Yeah. Leave us alone, Billy. You bully. Yeah, bully. Daddy, Daddy's getting on a flight today, huh? Daddy's calling. He's calling. He's calling. He's calling. He's calling? Daddy's called a lot of time in Nashville guys doing the alive big and hungry podcast Yeah, I'm doing that. We don't know. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good at say nice

We could it's fun and fun at say nice and then with the great Steve But it's very No, no, they're all coming we're almost all down and then Oh, there you go Yeah, I got Tampa because he's like no I got Tampa and we see right now No, I'm lying around the box right now Lines right now guys run don't walk I mean walk don't run. Here's the thing

There's lines already forming. Thank you. Thank you for everybody We'll see you in a couple hours and then and then I've got and then I got Tampa, where you staying in Tampa? I don't I'm staying at the I can't say but it's a nice hotel Because otherwise the people will mob my Terrible close now listen. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be in Tampa Friday Saturday at the improv two shows Friday two shows Saturday great man. I love Tampa can't wait can't wait the improv two shows Friday two shows Saturday great man I love Tampa can't wait can't wait and the table has deep roots in a mafia too really best looking moment I've ever seen in my life was from Tampa oh

interesting Greek fitness model one one never forget her I didn't do anything I just I got I knew it got to her boyfriend yeah and they came to my show and I never yeah and we're boy from the stud But I never I never I never just be hanging out with people I was working out and you know, you know, I go hard and the jazz and people are looking you know I go oh Who you bringing on the road with you? I bring Luis Alvarez my buddy, you know And he's great.

And, uh, love Luis. I'll just do him. Rock him. Yeah. Yeah. He's great. How many people you were on the road? You got Chappelle?

Yeah, Chappelle. I was begun to have a minor. It's Chappelle's headliner on his own. But that was me. It was me. Chappelle. David Lucas. And then Justin will host it.

I love Justin. And then a good day, a shot would be there mark or be there. Oh, yeah, Mark. Yeah, Mark. We come with a posse Come on a lot of dudes a lot of dude a lot of big dudes a lot of big dude David Lucas walked in our green room because damn it's the whole fuck your ass up tour Yeah, I'm a trill and I'm a trill and indie he brought he runs with the two tongue club They called the two tongue club and every one of those guys is just fucking... We welcome him. My buddy, my buddy, Haystack. He's not a ton of guys.

Oh, he's a fighter. My buddy Haystack, who is, I think he's a rougher, and a great guy, but he fought a little MMA and used to train with Matt, and is just a giant, whatever you think of, he's a good old boy, like one of those guys comes out of a pickup truck and you're like, oh fuck, he's gonna flip my truck over, that's how big he is. And then it's just getting bigger, he's a big old man. His name those guys comes out of a pickup truck and you're like, oh fuck, he's gonna flip my truck over.

That's how big he is. And then it just gets him there. His name is Hastach. He was a fighter. Yeah, but he's also was a football player. He's just a giant dude. He was a sweetheart. But you can see that if you like a guy like me could never, there's no way I could hurt

him. I can't do any. No, if you had pepper spray. I need pepper spray. Pepper sprays the y'all equalizer. Yeah. And a small, a small cuto. Sorry. Oh, what? Oh, sorry. It's French for a little knife.

Um, I mean, God. God, who stabs these days, dude? No, I don't stabs. I just, I just don't do it. Oh, just don't do it. God, I'm dying. Damn. Oh, but then, milk will help that. Milk won't help this.

Yeah. Nice. He's got the mix in the time. I'm dead too. Oh Milk go help that milk won't help this Chin what are you doing for the weekend man? You got kind of a long break He's touched pepper spray. Oh No, I don't I don't know yet. Oh, yeah, it's always yeah, yeah, well you can You know why tomorrow. Oh, yeah're going to Hawaii? Yeah, I'm going to Hawaii. How Stevie looking, he's jacked. He has a Stevie has an eye problem right now. He has a little style on his eye. He does?

Yeah, he's very prone to having a stice. He used to get him in prison all the time. You ain't never seen a stice like this. He sent to me last night, how you doing? Do you have a picture? That's not the worst of it. You should see him as he's... You look...

Let me see. Let me see. What's going on with it? Oh no, his eyes are just very prone to getting bacteria caught in it and they get styes a lot. He used to get it a lot in prison. Really? A stye. Mm-hmm. That's your eyes.

Why are you, yeah. He got styes fucking heart, man. Yeah, it's missing. You've never seen something like that. Oh, that's a tough one. No, he's You know, there's a star. It's a style. That sucks. It was really bad today. He said he's on antibiotics And I took him to the doctor on Monday He's had it for almost two weeks now two weeks Yeah, cuz it was small and then progressively got worse and worse and birthday today. Yeah, it's birthday That's not the worst no

Happy birthday, Stevie. Yeah, yeah, happy birthday, Steven Wow Happy birthday, Stevie. Happy birthday, Steven. He's gonna have fun in Did you know Stevie loves? Why would one fucking I? Did you know Stevie loves alpecus? Oh, yeah, everyone know it's well One of the warmer, one of the warmer wolves, one of the warmer wolves that you, here we go.

Let him go. It's not a man, let him go. Alpaca was used in the Korean War for the uniforms, because while Korea is in some ways the coldest place in the wild, you know that? Korea gets cold. Oh, I actually did not. So these troops were like, well, I actually did not know that.

So these troops were like, well, we're freezing to death here. And that thing's furry. Yep, so we need to shave him down. Let's get some alpaca. Whoa, let's let them freeze. And we're going to shave that thing down. And an alpaca keep you warm, because they're up in the... Kat, what's the plans in Hawaii?

We are going to do the road to Hana, and basically just hang out. Chill. Go to the beach. eat your own food. And are they wide open there? Because they did have this shady rule where you can only leave your hotel for like three hours. There's a guest pass in the rest of time

it's been in the hotel. Turn on the code. To my understanding, it is pretty open with tourism now, but it is strict trying to get into Maui. We had to do a questionnaire have to do a questionnaire, we got COVID tested, and then we have to list out our itinerary and give them our flight information, our hotel information as well. Just so they could keep track of us. And then when we land, we have to do a rapid COVID test before we can leave the airport. Now can you pass all that if you would have

just proved you have the vaccination? Yeah, but you had to have had both doses of the vaccine and then we're going to get just for all 14 days. I want to get just the one. You want Johnson Johnson? That's one of the people like a third eye though. Yeah. Yeah, although they had a recall on that. Yeah, like there was a small percentage of people had issues,

but I'm pretty sure. I do seem to know a lot of people that are having a tough time with it. Really? I got it, really? You did? Yeah, you're fine. I got it done. Yeah. Yeah, that's that thought.

I heard it's just the second shot that fucks people up. Yeah, or maybe just for some people for the most vast majority we're fine. The Stevie still eat, um, whole chicken. Only chicken, sweet potatoes. Chicken tenders and not like the deep fried chicken tenders, like the piece of the chicken,

like white meat on your fried chicken tenders. Air fryer? Yes. He will eat sweet potatoes, asparagus and what else. Right now he's eating egg whites like hard boiled eggs. He'll throw away the yolk. He's still at the gym six hours a day? Yes.

I was telling him last time like dude come to zoo. He's like you guys come to her. You guys go to her. Yeah. He wakes up at noon. Yeah, I know he goes to sleep at two to three in the morning wakes up at noon leisure It's incredible that prison time. Yeah, and then and then he'll his workouts I took him on it and which is an amazing gym that that the Franco jimmy on it He goes he was like there's no mirrors here. Oh, yeah He hates on it because it's no mirrors. Yeah, he went to a gym needs to see himself

Like he would love zoo. He said he's gonna come He would love zoo. Yeah, that's I he'd love you. Nice body When he looks great in his body's unbelievable Phenomenal great. Yeah, he does Did Mark Tay I gave him these prototype thick boy shorts were doing thick boy summer shorts They gave me this pro and they're too tight for me So I was like Mark you look dope in these you know because he's giant fucking legs He lights tight shorts. He put them on detail is dick was in my face Working with the piece

Those are so He was so good. They're like you know, it's now the style that is short a short Yeah, so they're short and it says thick. It's like sewn in but are they tight or are they loose? No, they're tight and short. Oh like spandexy. No, we try to make them loose. Yeah, I want them to be looser. Yeah That's why they're not gonna work, but I was like these are one-on-one you can have them Guys are wearing the running shorts now from that's what I wear. Yeah, cuz it says T.H. And where the eyes at it was Where's dick is that yeah, I'm like dude You got it. Don't wear those around anymore. Sometimes we were so he looks dope in them. Yeah, when I wear certain shorts It's just out. Yeah, I was I was like when I was rolling with was shot Evans. He is the

Biggest dick you've ever seen said he goes if I take my pants over in that room I get dark Biggest dick you've ever seen he said he goes if I take my pants over in that room a good dark His the biggest day and you don't wear it clubs. We'd be in spandex shorts. No, you'd be like in North South and it'd be like God I like man. Is there That's You Your black You weren't your blackpuff. I did you were in your back that day I'm my blackpuff That's just that's just not that's not really I feel like you could just take Like them choke me with the virus. That's a lot of dig dog

It's a lot of these are anyway can avoid this North South exchange I was doing it. I was doing a show in Des Moines and and it was so weird This blonde this tube blonde guys is sitting there muscular guys. And this young, he's probably 22 or something with longer gets up and he's got, he looks like a farm boy like that, you'd see in a calendar, like a gay calendar. He gets up and he's got running shorts on

with these jacked-out thighs. And in the middle of the set, I was like, I was like, I feel like I should say something about this guy's shorts, but then it was so, like, there's no way I can't make it for him. Well, you were performing. Yeah. Can you probably go, went to the bathroom or something?

He came to my show, the kid at Zoom. There's a kid at Zoom. He had these impossible fucking quads. His legs were popping out, and he had those bike shorts on, and he was, can I get a picker? Oh, no, I want to take it. And then I go, damn, he has some wheels on you. He's like, you think I'm like, well, of course, you do know what you're doing. Yeah, that's something girl with giant double D titties, like, damn, you got some tits on. She's like, you think I'm like, bitch, you know what you're doing?

Because when y'all took the picture, he, he, he, we both, we will flex our leg. Yeah. His blasted. This dude. Short shorts. He's like from Nebraska or something. Some of those corn fed, those, yeah. Nebraska kids, the blonde, they come from that Dutch and German stock when they lift weights. If they don't, the way they get heavy. If they lift weights and get serious,

it's like, they get, they're just marries. He's like, that's a long stay. This probably eight dudes with a shirt's off air stay. Yeah. That's still not ready.

Yeah, they're all just, I'm not ready. Yeah, all natural. 100%. Yeah, I'm not ready to take my shirt off yet. What is the, what is the, if you had to gas gun to your head, if you went into a gym typically and you see guys like that, it depends on the gym. I know.

Like Zeus different, like those are real body builders. There's some body like straight-up competition dudes in there. There's real power lifters in there There's a lot of so there's a lot of hot chicks in there a lot of juice going on. There's a lot of for sure Yeah, you go on the golds like in Venice. I was a lot. Yeah, but if you go on like planet fitness or 25th Fitness probably less than 1% yeah, I must most people don't. Yeah, zoo everybody look good. But you do see a lot of that in the CrossFit gym. Depends on the gym. Yeah.

When the CrossFit competitors are, that's, you know. You guys ever get a CrossFit? I did for a while, but my friends and clients, I also did too. And me. When you tell me, my buddy's a spine surgeon, and he goes, I stay in business. I make a lot of money off across it because these guys

I feel like it's down down like have you ever heard? I guess maybe because of COVID have you ever heard of anyone like mentioned cross it lately? They have the cross-feed game So kind of so yeah, I just think I just think when you're I it's great thing if you do it those boys are in shape Yeah, they're in crowd and they're good workouts. It's like I'm a dead Those boys are in shape. Yeah, they're in crowd. And they're good workouts. It's like, I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one.

I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one.

I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one.

I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one.

I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a dead one. I'm a Olympic lifting. I walked into Olympic. Yeah, I walked into it. I walked into the Venice barbell. And I got a coach. This is a wild bag, long time ago. Yeah, dude, and I was like, and Brennan just three years. Brennan goes, listen, listen dude. You, you are, it's like when I was sparring a lot. And I go, I'm getting dizzy, he goes,

that's right, you are. That's right, you're getting dizzy. And you shouldn't be sparring. Nor should you be sprinting, and nor should you be powerlifting. Cause I wasn't lifting a lot of weight, but just that much, and you make one mistake, and I did, one of them say, there's a little like that, and you're like,

ah, fuck, and it's like, when Mark's like, I wanna do squat, I'm like, now I'm it. Like for what? Like I'll do the machine, or I'll do like a dumbbell squat, but I'm not putting 400 pounds on my back. Yeah, I don't like squat. So it goes wrong, and it's just not worth it for what? Yeah, it's not. like a dumbbell squat but I'm not putting 400 pounds on my back. Yeah I don't like to squat. So it goes wrong.

Yeah, it's just not worth it for what? Yeah, it's not. What did you do that? Did you squat a lot in college? They may squat all the time. Yeah, all the fun. They did it right. All the time.

You are one of the few people I know this sports for so long it doesn't have chronic injuries. No, your shoulders are days. Did you ever have any operation? Never. Wow. You had that one foot have any operation? Never. Wow. Yeah, that one foot thing, right? It's crazy.

I'd plan her fascius, but. That's crazy that you had me in again. That's pretty nuts. The only thing you heard it was your neck once. But even that, you know, it's not. Yeah. I have no problems now. Yeah.

Wow. It's a little tight now, you can mention it. Give me two. He's all just. Thank you. Your body just. Do you have any injuries from cheerleading? You're wrist, how them wrist. Oh, too. He's all just okay body just do you have any injuries from cheerleading your rest how them rest? Oh fine Really? Yeah, only thing I would say like because I was getting bigger the tumbling me being that big You say like now you're trying to tumbling. No, no, no big boys like my later my later years and you got heavier

Yeah, got heavier and so like me being. Like me being. Like already me being that size, like it's most tumblers aren't like that size. So there's just a lot of them. They're a lot like skinny like, skinny dude. So yeah, the impact of landing like my knees. Chappelle so interesting,

his best friend is this impossibly gay dude. Yeah, impossibly gay. That's my best friend. These best friends are this white and possibly gay dude. And you possibly gay. That's my best friend. You know, best friends of this white and possibly gay dude. And you know me, I'm curious, I don't know that world. And I was like, so we're just asking you. He's like, yeah, I'm in a relationship. Like, well, how the, I mean, like, as dude, you always want to fuck

right? He's like, yeah, but, you know, I can do my thing, he can do his thing, but he doesn't really tend to do his thing. I do. He's like, I do, like, I go on the road a lot and I'll just get on these apps and it's on, man. I was like, God, man. So we left and I take smart and she'll be like, Hey, she fell for me.

Fuck. You did. She fell for me. Fuck. Oh, she's just, they kind of ruined the word. I just kept asking questions. I was like, so you're just going to sit in like suck a guy off. Damn.

Did you have your hand down in your pants? I'm like, you're just going to sit in like suck a guy off. Did you have your hand down in your pants? I'm like, you're just going there and there. That's a question. Yeah, I just kept asking him. He was like, what? I mean, yeah, I'm there. And then you were like, you want me to teach you just right? You into a very nice, or?

I'm a whole other guy. Yeah. He explains it as like, if they see someone attractive. It's on. It's on. My buddy, who's gay. It's just on. But like, they find it so fascinating because, yeah, because, dude, like, we see someone attractive. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on.

It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on.

It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on.

It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on.. My buddy's in a state prize of a date so it's Relationship is the guy guys businessman, you know kind of a you know and used to be actually married to a woman And so he goes that he's gay so he starts dating my friend and they met in first class on this You know, you know whatever a lot of money and so he he said he said if I'm in a relationship with you Like you're my guy and this is a monogamous relationship, well, my buddy, who'd been in the gay scene for a long time was like, that's not what we do.

Well, okay. So, so he finds out his boyfriend, who's this upstanding guy, finds out that my friend's been going to 24 hour fitness, where it's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on it's on steam room to steam room the steam room the steam room the boom boom room for the cable Or you just take a walk down the street when it's Hollywood you just Let's Hollywood yeah, or you get steam room get nice sweat in the

Or anywhere or anywhere he's a good looking guy in his 30s this back in that he was or anywhere because you're gay and you're in Aswesi I would yeah anywhere just go just lock eyes. You know how I don't I won't I got a mongol yeah, yeah, I respect well if you lock eyes in West Hollywood it's on right? It's on so so my buddy my buddy was like I'm not allowed to go to my for our fitness Yes, no exactly where I am at all times. It didn't work out. No, no, that's something Yeah, well, thanks to my buddy explained it as like, like they don't wanna like hold back that feeling. It was like, because they understand that they're together. It's like, this is our relationship.

This is us. And they make it clear whenever they, you know. On the road. What happens to the road stage? I'm with my husband, I'm not leaving my husband. This is just what this is. Yeah, get that big dick out. Who was the show-ish? Get that big dick out The show is, get that big dick out

Yeah, it is a big dick out I got a big dick out I'm world like it's just I'm sure there are a lot of monogamous gay relationships But yeah, there probably is But like, I don't know You know, for us it's just Yeah

If I look at another girl, she's like, what the fuck? What are you doing? Oh, you want her? The worst I want to grow up and some blah, blah, blah, blah. And I can tell my girls they get me to them. I don't know. But then sometimes I'm like, what did you say? This is the other way.

Yeah. I'm looking. I know what the fuck you're doing. I'm like, what? You got to see this. It's also like a Lamborghini pulls up. And we're just going to make it ignore the Lamborghini like we're not gonna I had a girlfriend who used to do this so I was look and she go you want a meter?

Straight up you want a meter do you want a meter? Excuse me? I was so I've been I and I see you there you you like wow with the money tongue. Why are they? Are we going I do not know I do I go no tiger wants fro you I think it and then I look like I'm like I think it's No, yeah, it never will you lost something like you just see this and then it's just just Juicy ass just boom. No, I'm just We not supposed to do that. I was like what why did I think we want them like we don't want It's a worry. It's just that's what is right there

Yeah, some things are just yeah If if if you run by with a siren and you're on fire, I'm gonna look. You're gonna stare. You're just gonna stare. Is this like, hey, that's what it is. Or sometimes just be this girl with impossible ass and tits. I'm like, god, it's just, I'm like, it's disgusting. Yeah, that's not just a greeting.

Yeah. When you're a greeting with her. So you think she's pretty, like, come on. That's my joke about my style. Women pick up on shit like they'll some woman will come in who's just that dime piece and women if they're in a group or vicious they're like look at how trash

it she is you can see the glue on her eye like yeah and I'm like she looks like a 10 to me but yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the glue yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm like yeah I just agree I'm like yeah I know a little man eyelashes yeah literally how about her bag has a mattress it's all look at her eyebrows my time but I'm yeah I just agree I'm a young a little man I like you better get your eyebrows me mom just

staring at the parents those impossible eyebrows like that's your eyebrows are disgusting like all right you gotta learn the game you gotta learn the game just look around yeah don't go there's BT there no no guys gotta get out of here I love you guys we gotta talk yeah going to talk. Yeah. Yeah

Have fun in Nashville. I will and then I'll be in Come see me in Tampa come see me in Nashville come see me in Toledo Toledo next two weeks. Yeah, in two weeks. San Antonio LOL. Yeah, we got Toledo We got San Antonio. We got all but he's gonna be on the train to Albany. Yep, we got Funny Bone, June 18, 19, Philadelphia, PA, Helium, June 25, 27, T-FatK for tickets. No, right, bro. Fast on our side. F-A-T-K-Z.com.

T-A-T-A-T-A-Z.com. F-A-T-A-Z.com. Love you guys. Love you. Bye, bro. Bye. Talent had to leave us to jump on a plane. Yep. Oh, damn, Brian. Bye. Hi. Hi. Colin had to leave us to jump on a plane. Yep.

Oh, damn, shit. I have some current events, man. All right. First one. Okay. So yesterday, Derek Lewis posted a photo onto Instagram of Guy being arrested. And this man was caught trying to break into his car after he got out of the gym. Whoa. Derek says this man's fine.

And I saw Derek post on his Instagram his fist because he beat the guy up and then held him down to the cop game. Oh, he beat the dude. He was able to catch him. I mean, if Derek closed his chest. Yeah, he, yeah, it's my turn. So is that Derek fucking up his car? My fuck drive breaking my shit.

You know what I mean? Him and David Lucas have the same energy. A little bit, yeah. Did you see his interview where somebody asked him recently who would play him in a movie of his life and he said he wants John Travolta to play him? It's hilarious. John Travolta in Blackface.

Actually, I'm gonna try. That's why I get actual money in the gun. That's so fucking funny. That's funny, man. Okay. Okay, so an Australian Olympian recently posted a photo for Mother's Day where she's doing a...this is a Hansen. I had Stan, but she's topless and her child is suckling from her breast. Which that's a, yeah, people on Instagram were very upset about this giving her hate.

I guess people just thought it was inappropriate. Some people feel weird about people posting photos of them breastfeeding. You just don't look. He don't have to follow. You don't have to follow. Yeah, you don't follow. But she got a lot of hate for it. We'll just unfollow.

Don't be too weird. It's a little weird. It's just like, just unfollow don't be a little weird I don't give a flying fucking off. I don't follow. She's a gymnast I don't know. She's a gymnast. She's not let me Little less weird if she wasn't doing a handstand in it. I feel like I think the handstand is what really is just Weirdest dope. We like this. Yeah. I think it's creative. I think it's trying to hard. Yeah, I think it's a little too thirsty. Yeah. Yeah. Like because the kid obviously kids like it. But it's her Instagram. It's her Instagram. No, I get it. It's still thirsty move. Like like her husband like, Hey, I'm gonna do a

handstand when my kids brought the kid out like, no, no, no, yeah, because kid naturally isn't gonna walk up and suck on her. Hey, Mom, you and Hans, they're so good too. Yeah, it's not the way kids. I mean, I get it, but I don't think I get it. I think these little thirsty, but yeah, I don't, I don't hate. Yeah, it's not. You're gonna go all with your Instagram. We're like, you know, what the fuck is this? It's lame. I have a life. I have a life, you know? What else you got, Jen?

Here we go. So it was just announced that police officers are no longer welcomed at Pride in New York City until 2025. They will be there present because every single year, I believe the New York police department is hired to kind of manage that event event but they're managing from a block away i guess it was because there was some sort of outrage that happened this past year when the pandemic happened there they tried to throw a pride parade and

police officers were sent to shut it down and people associated that with them being like anti gay now here's the problem so the people who want to actually create Violence and conflict are gonna be able to do it now Yeah, you're not gonna have any protection. They're still there. They're just a block away and they've hired their own Security for yeah, they have like local community members within the LGBT community and they're trained to figure out bombs and terrorist acts and stuff like that I doubted and that's why you have the cops and stuff like that, I doubt it. That's why you have the cops. Yep.

Yeah. Yeah, we'll see what happens. A lot of people don't agree with this, just because usually when cops are at the pride parade, it's usually cops who are in that LGBT community, just like showing face. Like, yeah, hell yeah, we're here. So that's a bummer.

Yeah, we'll see what happens. This is kind of not a current event, just asking your opinion. Have you guys seen Netflix's haunted? That new show? What show is that? It's this right here. Is it the bent net lady? No, no, no. It's like real stories.

It's real stories. Oh, it's people making up stories about it. Yes, dude. Oh, my God. We watch it. It's so lame. No, wait. It's someone that sits in a room with their friends

and they retell a story about a haunted incident. They lie about it. They lie like crazy. They didn't react to it. Yeah, no, they just, they, yeah, there's a reenactment that plays but Ashley is telling the story or he's telling the story. And their friends are reenacted.

It's just people bullshitting that they song. Oh my God, it's so bullshitting. I wonder if anyone actually believes in stuff. Were they trying to make it seem like this is real deal? They're all saying these are real stories. It's so, Chippell, it's real people telling ghost stories. And then they're reenacting it for the make the show. Like, yeah, there's actors that reenact it while they're talking about it. Oh, lie.

But it's just super lame. Uh, here's just a cat, a touching base back in that one woman that fell. So we'll Smith posted this. And can see you know this is original video obviously Just three thick he's trying to get it done man. Yeah, I love there. I love it This is my favorite is when she shit I love it. I love it. This is my favorite is when she shit. Oh, the third time that's a stumble.

You ready? She's like, yeah, I got this. And they're not even paying attention. So now he actually has the other, her phone angle. I Come on man miss today get it together I would be interested. That's so funny. That's so funny. Oh my God. Yeah, it's great.

Will's getting back in shape, huh? Yeah. He's like Doc Mane. You were right. You called it. It's a documentary series where he's just going to track his weight loss. Yeah, smart. He's a whole thing.

He's going to be shredded. Yeah. Yeah. Another touching base back on a Kevin Polar guy. Yeah. So multiple fractures and then also his here's him talking Just a little bit and you can see his face here. It's super. This is like right after and the manager the master Like we're gonna handle that picture who did it like we'll get them meaning like there's a me read repercussions Oh, that's our baseball work. Next time they play that guy wasn't so much about the pain

It was just about the fact that this team's gone through a lot and like I said I pride myself on being available and I don't always enjoy the results of going out there every single day, but I do enjoy the Just because it's face he's like trying to get through it every man They want to me to do an interview right after yeah, but I'm good man. Yeah, I don't want to talk right now He was just saying the guy did it on purpose No, well, okay, so he actually talked to the guy the guy went in the pit or whatever afterwards to talk to him and Apologize and they're cool now, so he was like saying he's a stand-up guy He's just upset that he can't be in the game because he says his team is already losing all these people

So now they want to continue to play he wanted to be obviously can't continue Seems like a cool dude. Why y'all laugh? I don't know why he's laughing. Yeah, it was the last shitty deal. Yeah, that's the messed up face. Let's do this. So you saw this right arbitration for Joshua and Fury. Yeah, so you know that so they announced Fury versus Joshua and the wilders like well and Wilders fucked it all up. He's like no you can't do it because you owe me a mandatory rematch.

They both went to an arbitrator and the arbitrator decided that yeah he has to face down to it sucks. He has to go against Wilder again. Yep. Then no one wants to see it right before. And then you want to talk about I mean obviously Wilders. You're really going to get paid but you want to tell it it I mean, obviously, while this guy, you're gonna get paid, we want to have someone who's fallen hard

in the public phase. Wilder. What a dumbest guy. I'll upset people I know where I can fear a Joshua. Because that's the fight everyone wants. It's the only fight we want. No one wants to see wilder versus fear a year. You got outclassed like crazy last fight.

It was such a bummer. Yeah. So was that a bummer. Yeah. So was that part of a contract that he gets a third? Yeah, once they did that first fight, they would do like, if I lose, then we'll go to rematch, you lose, we go to rematch. So it's up to this point. And then now they went to an arbitrator and the arbitrator decided,

that's basically a judge that they both agree on, decided that he has to fight them. Yeah, it's a bummer. that they both agree on decided that he has to fight him. Yeah, it's a bummer. I mean, but even in the first fight, Fury was still, you know, some people thought he would. Yeah, yeah. But he got knocked out.

Yeah, not that. I saw that like in the 12th and the second fight was even a fight. Yeah, I saw it. And it's gonna happen again. So we'll see it a third time. And then it delays Josh with. How do you think Fury would be able to do to do oh yeah work on the same way. Yep. So they think maybe like end of the year is one

Joshua and Fury. Yeah, so when is this July, oh, let me see. Oh, so it already it's already announced. Yeah, July for oh Three of your Josh was 100% inside of your radio July 24th. All right. They already booked a stadium, too We're at so hopefully a legend Las Vegas. Oh Las Vegas. They're doing it. Yeah, so hopefully Fairie just gets out of the way and then he can move on with Joshua Yeah, so this is also different. Why does he want fury again? Why don't you? Hey money and they also he probably thinks he really can take it back who knows he has a new trading cap now new coaches, so What else you got you got it? All right? Oh

This comedian passed away. I just I think today or last night I want you to be a legend super legend Tommy store guy comes for legend Comments for a legend right there. You guys it using a Chappelle show too. Yep. Yep. Monster. Said a heart attack and then he was suffering from dementia already. Man. The midges like the memory.

Yeah, you forget things. Yeah. Yeah. The bummer. To say apple, yeah. Saddle. I don't know why this is bothering me, but Demi Lovato.

You know, first she came out as lesbian, I think, and then now she says she's non-binary. It's just, I just feel like she's just trying to get attention. It's just trying to get attention. Yeah, agree. There's some people, I think there's straight up, some people that have, you know, that are born, their wires are messed up,

and they actually women and men's bodies, and men and women's bodies. The people going down. Yeah, but it's just their wires fucked up. Like they were created, they're wiring their fucked up. So I think there's actual people that have a real problem. And they make sense for them to change the pronouns.

And there's some people who it's a mental illness, where it's like they gravitate towards this one thing, or they're doing it for publicity, or like it's a new narrative. You're saying you think she's doing it? I don't know. I don't know where that went. I know, yeah, I don't know her. It's the word. I can just like judge that. But it's always something.

It's always something. It is always something. With her. With her. Yeah, I like her. You know, I can just, she's so talented. It's like just like an extreme. Yeah, she'll be in the public eye.

Like she'll do something crazy. Being the public eye. Remember the throw you'll see. The throw you'll see. And like everyone stopped caring about her for yeah Lid up for that. Yeah, I go wait. I changed my pronouns everybody Yeah, but you're right though. I guess she's talented Music to me. It's voice. She's crazy talented insanely. Yeah, slapper. Yeah, I feel bad I don't know her so it's like kind of hard. I I don't know I think it'd be mental on this too

But I mean, it's definitely it feels like kind of hard. I don't know. I think it could be mental illness too, but I mean, it's definitely, it feels like she's just wanting. It's very Hollywood. It's very Hollywood. Yeah, there's a lot of trauma going on there. Yeah. She was a child star. Yeah.

Like, like, like, she was a Disney star she started in Barney and Friends. She's been famous for ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so she was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, she was like, like, like, like, like, like, we know he says, like, her and like, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber, they get a pass because they've been famous for so long. So like, they're, they're,

the reality is so fucked up. Like, they didn't grow up like normal people. No. Like, you're not meant to be that famous. She has another dog in her room. Yeah, about her life. And then, uh, just the shit that she talks about on there is wild. Like, the shit that she went through

in Disney, I was like, oh, I can see why. Like, you're kind of wonky. Yeah, there's some. And not like in a bad way. It's just she's been through some. She's going out for help. Yeah, yeah. And then she like relapsed right and had,

she overdosed almost down. Yeah. Yeah, seriously, because like, you know, I mean, those kids, they need like great people in their corner. Yeah. You know, to really help them understand how to grow wild. They know how famous they are

and people are always trying to take stuff from them. They don't know who the real friends are. Especially if you don't have like a strong family dynamic. Why do you try to do that? That's why I think about what the Britney stuff. Nightmare. The Britney stuff, Justin stuff, yeah, I was like, she had bad people in her corner.

You know? Last one, this homeboy is back to dog walking lady dog dog walker that's the one that got shot shot is back at it hell yeah committed committed there is there is there is like a good plan yeah well back at it back at it dog that's it man uh well this comes out we'll be on a plane to Houston, Texas, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Chappelle, myself, David Lucas. We will be there May 20 through the 22nd at the Houston improv. This week, kids, then Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Brixton, Comedy Club, June 10 through

the 12th, get your tickets at FATKZ.com. Next Friday, all new thick boy gear drops for the summer, summer, summer time. thick boy, summer's coming. Shepal, what do you got, buddy? June 4th and 5th, Skyline Comedy Club, Appleton, Wisconsin. There's a lot of white people coming out with me. Yeah. Right? That's it.

Go see Brian in Tampa Friday and Saturday. He's in Tampa, Florida. All right. We're out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, lo introducir tu matrícula encuentra la mejor promoción de mantenimiento para tu BMW.