The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 695: Paul Virzi

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Comedian Paul Virzi joins the show and the guys talk how Paul and Bill Burr became close, stories of Paul's hilarious father, vaccine controversies, disappointing gifts, UFO sightings, bombing on stage, gambling nuns, French president getting slapped, a Korean BBQ rental truck and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up finally kid listeners few housekeeping notes for you I started a new thick boy YouTube channel. I've dropped all three vlogs from my Miami trip of the Floyd Mayweather Logan Paul subscribe now We're gonna do a special giveaway when we get to 100,000 subscribers. We will pick three lucky random subscribers I will fly you out to LA to work out with me and my crew at zoo culture gym in Woodland Hills, California. So as soon as we hit a hundred thousand, we'll random pick through you. You'll be notified and I will pay for all your travel, your lodging, and your workouts. It's gonna be dope. So head to this site right now. It's thick boy. You gotta

search it right now. You see it on there. Post a bunch of videos, a bunch of content. So head to there right now. But this weekend I'm in Oklahoma City, which is Pel Lacey, David Lucas, it's going to be a beast of a show that's June 10th through the 12th. That's this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Brickstown, Conber Club, Oklahoma City. Then I get a little break, your boy will be in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, in Prov, July 22nd through 24th. Get tickets right now, FATKZ.com.

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Well, I got everything planned. You'll have COVID test. You know, you, you got work? Well, I got everything planned. You'll have COVID death. You know, you got to take a vaccine and then you got to wait two weeks. Oh, let's get into this, Jim. You got to wait two weeks. Are you serious? You thought you were just flying a travel free daddy?

Yeah, I just knew. I just knew. Wait, what? Yeah, I didn't know that. You thought you were allowed to just jump the pond for free daddy? Yeah, I thought you were not allowed to. So to Europe?

No, you're locked down. They're opening now, but we're in bed at bed. We're in France, a man can wear a beret and have a little back end. There's new variant in UK, too. You hear this Fauci? He came on and said this. There's a new variant? Yeah, how long we going to buy in a Fauci, huh?

No, is there another one? Well, according to Fauci, you know, he's trying to keep his job. You know, he's trying to, like, go to France. Well, man, who the fuck did you get to vaccine? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I didn't want it, but I did. I didn't either, I didn't want it, just because it's like nobody knows,

like not against it, I'm not like an anti-vaxxer, but you don't know. I was actually, I was online for the Vax and I'm texting Frank, I was like 10 away and like, you know, they keep calling, and I'm like, yo, should I be, I was texting Comics, go on, should I do this? I have to, I have to, I have to,

I was texting comedians, comedians, you guys are gonna tell Dick Jones and Strip Mals. comics come should I do this? I Was texted comedian comedian until did jokes and strip malls Should I be doing this and am I am my fucking friends who are on the right? We're like no fuck I had one friend go Don't take that home. Oh juice I don't friend tell me don't take that home. I go do what? You'd be sucking I go or it's gonna help me. No, it's not. Where are you? Yeah, I'm only an alphabetical. I swear, I'm gonna take that homo juice, bro.

I have it. I have it. Unfortunately, unfortunately, I can't take the homo juice. And I'm just on the phone going, what the fuck? And then I had like friends who were on the left. Out of my hands. Yeah, that's out of my hands. And then you ain't got his poppest, who's like one of my dearest friends.

Yeah, yeah. You do, you do, you do, you do, you do then you ain't got his poppies, who's like one of my dearest friends. Yeah, yeah. You do guys, you do guys, you do it. He goes, oh, 100%. It's science. And I actually took that as if he was a medical doctor. Yeah, like he's falching. Yeah. Yeah.

My, my, my, my recent, my primary research. But I did, I started, you know, from the lab, which suggests, when I tell a dick jokes, my primary research, it's unbelievable. It's so, yeah. but stars is more my special I would when people go. I don't trust it man. I don't tell you we've seen this before why have we yeah, yeah I don't trust it. Why not well, well triply I you know, I'm I guess Conspiracy social club where I sam triply hits me with conspiracies and I debunk them and it's just it turns into a shout best every time it's great.

But Tripoli is like vaccine shedding bro. I'm like what do you mean? You can be near somebody who has the vaccine and it will render you infertile. That's the plan. That's insane. Population control. I'm like is there any amnesia? I'm in the show of 11 and how do he get there? Oh, don't, it's called YouTube. We can go down the rabbit hole. Yeah, you can't, it is a little dicey how fast it rolled out. I mean, Operation Warp Speed was great by Trump,

but it is a little weird how it gets. It does have a month later, like we have something, I was like, oh, I guess I'll take it. I guess the side effects sometimes can be pretty heavy. But that's for a change, like a change. Changed out it. I was fucked up dude. Oh you were?

Last night. It just hits you when you sleep. Did you take the Johnson and Johnson? I took the Moderna. That's what I got. First team all Moderna up. You got Moderna too? Moderna too.

I want that Johnson and Johnson just to mix it up. That's what I got done. Oh daddy don't get that. The one shot? Yeah. It fucked people up. It gives you like a third eye or something. You ever heard this? Give your third-eye right? Yeah, you know

Well, I did hear actually I don't know if you know this but like like eight or nine very wealthy Women in Connecticut took it and all of them gave birth to black people they did yeah So they're enforcing diversity in the womb You're doing the Johnson Hollywood's taking this shit Hey guys what I heard you're doing the Johnson John cuz you just want the one shot senior to Europe Yeah, but the problem is you know wait two weeks now you gotta wait a month for the Johnson Johnson two weeks for the fire So my whole trip is my whole trip is in jeopardy. I can't believe Johnson two weeks for the fight. So my whole trip is my whole trip is in jeopardy.

I can't believe you're smart guy. You're smart guy. I can't believe nobody in your circle like, hey dude, you know you can't travel in an actual that back. Well, no, you can't. I'm getting a vaccination with three weeks to three, almost four, we have three weeks.

I have, with three weeks to go, I'm going to accept it. Okay. Problem is, even if I get the Johnson Johnson, I didn't know this. they make you wait a month. You have to wait a month. You have to see if it works. Meaning Europe's gonna make you wait a month. Oh, I see.

We have to see if it takes, because they've got the just- That was a low risk that it doesn't take. But I've already had COVID, so that sometimes there's a loophole there. So I can get just- So I can't go, if I didn't have them in Dernichot's and I want to go to Italy tomorrow, I can't.

You cannot go. I did not know it's not It's country by country like some of them are Lucy Goosey and then so she is strict They tell you before you book your ticket though. I Didn't tell me I was a Hawaiian they gave me a whole protocol of like Why is not you don't think internationally they would tell you what you need to do before you didn't tell me when I bought my tickets I spent a lot of money on my tickets You've never

Like Somewhere Paul Versey The cards can be duplicated there like people are saying that the cards are like Yo, the cards can be duplicated. They're like people are saying that the cards are like, what? Yeah, it's like, of course it is. Like it's not laminated, it's not, it's not,

it's not, it's not my. I'm not in my wallet. Have you seen it? No, but I might have to make up a call. It's just like, you know, I'm not a jack of paper. It's a paper. It's like, I'm so, I'm not in my wallet.

I do this, I'm a permission. It's like bigger than your wallet, so it won't fit. It's like, yeah. You know what? I got some friends in the underworld. I can make a couple. I know a guy goes, I got it for 200 bucks, I got one. I mean, we're going to, I mean, of course, but you have one.

I'm sure. And they're ready with a pen. Yeah, especially if it's like, just get a card and go ahead on this date and then they do give you a lot number There's a lot number from the batch of the vaccine where it traces back to where you got it Okay, but they can figure all this stuff out. Yeah, but you need all now and start you know because June 15th LA opens because then the virus decides to leave on the 15th But all right like Starbucks you go in and says if you're vaccinated, you don't have to have a mask. Oh my god, I got on my mask. And then they'll go, are you vaccinated?

I'm like, oh, you think people are actually until the truth? Oh, they're going to get... So they ask, it's the honor system. Yeah, I'll get the fuck out of here. And... La. Yeah.

You got a lot. Did you have any side effects? No, I just had chill. I had like a little chills after the second dose. Yeah. First dose, nothing. No. Second dose, I felt like I was like getting a little sick.

I was getting pissed, dude. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck? I don't have, I ain't have to buy this a year later, too. They said, so they think I taught it twice. They thought I had COVID twice. It's funny the way you taught us, when you found out, you taught COVID.

I don't think they're here, I don't know. Cause I'm a fucking NBA player. I, yeah, like Rudy Go Bear, let me know that I was COVID positive. I was just like, He was the first one. He was the reason that I went into the locker. He's the reason that they can have any fans.

Yeah, he said he's like, I can't smell anybody else, not smell or taste it. I went downstairs in my, you know, laundry room, I smelled for, put for breeze in my face, couldn't smell it. Well, my wife up three o'clock in the morning was like, I can't smell shit. She's like, what, that's not's not even and I was again. Oh, it's a foot Rudy go bare the jazz I go fucking Rudy go bare

You know You might be defensive player here France We're going to be on the radio, man. Give that to me! Get some friends! The French dude! He's touching the mic. You know what? She's like, hold it, it's three o'clock in the fucking... I gotta be able to put the kids in one... Fuck the top.

How old are you, kids? My kids are 12 and 9. Yeah, I got 14. What brought you to LA besides this glorious podcast? A bunch of shit. A bunch of podcasts. I'm doing me and Bill Burr, do the anything better podcast. So we're doing...

This is the first episode that we're going to be in studio together. Thank God because we were doing it on Zoom for so long. And then I'm flying Friday to Austin. I'm doing the Vulcan. Vulcan. Great. Gas company.

I'm doing that Friday Saturday. It's cool. It's not performing at a slipknot concert. Yeah. The background's like all like stealing those people. You have bleachers and shit. Oh, it's a cool. It's a cool It's a cool

Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, yeah, great. Have you done have you done the Albany funny bomb? It's one I mean I shouldn't probably say this but the Albany funny bone and the Syracuse funny bone are two of the fucking worst rooms America don't have me back I would fucking thank them Next to a Dave and Buster's. It was the fucking lowest people in earth are in fucking sir. Have you done a Connecticut funny boom? Yeah, that one I don't mind as much as the one. The Hartford one? The Hartford one is like, it was like.

I was scheduled to do, I was scheduled to do this. I mean, me and Dub David are all for doing, and I'm bringing Dub up with me. We're doing June 18th and 19th Albany Funny-Bone. But I don't know my agent's like, it's a great, it's an A-Room! You've been in the game for 40 years, you know what I'm saying? 40 years.

I mean, you know what I'm saying. But listen, what was your assessment again? You just told me it's the two worst rooms you've ever had. No, no, no. Sir, excuse me stuff, I've done sir, excuse me stuff. Well, sir, listen, before like, I'm now over the last like two years, I started moving tickets a little bit, so when I was there, the room seats like 500,

one of the rooms, one of the Syracuse seats, almost 500. It's a big way room. So they would like you have discounts and paper, and then those people, but it's in a mall, and it was just, It hurt your feeling. And the, yeah, it hurts your feeling. And I'm Syracuse.

You're next to a sharper image. You want that sharper image. You know, you're like, I went shopping. I went shopping at Target before my set. You want that sharper image. You know, you like, I went shopping. I went shopping at Target before my set. Dude, I had Cinnabon. I had Cinnabon. I was like, what's that?

Why'd my sharper image? I'm like, dude, you're alone. All alone, you're, you're strolling the mall. My wife's like, can you get toilet paper? I'm like, yeah, I got 10 minutes before I go on. Yeah, I'm gonna drive up from New York, I get from the city, you know. Those small gigs are so depressing. Well, I'll say New York is depressed in general, man.

That on the state. Yeah, that whole state of pharmacology is fucking like the opiate issue, all that stuff. So entire town's died because, you know, I'm a big, I'm a big, big, big, diehard nix fan. Let's take a little break from the chat with Paul Verzy, because guess what, man, for far too long Wall Street has neglected the average investor. I'm talking about the people. Like us, given out the same old generic advice,

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way, my kids get sad when I go away and show you know, you know, and so I got home and I said to wife, I got back from Tampa, and I was away, my kids get said when I go away and shit. You know, you know, so I got home and I said to my, so I'm gonna take Lucas to Game 2, or the play, now I never been to a next playoff game, and he never has obviously, so I was like, I'm gonna take him to Game 2, and we go down there, and it was fucking, it was amazing. It was the only game they won in the series,

the environment was something I've never felt before, ever. The three things that were the most electric i've ever seen we all went to doke you and see at duke uh... i was at game one of the world series yankees met yankees i mean yankees and they won in extras and this this beat it this beat both oh i love you both like when i tell you the guard and it was like the second time second day ever they allowed sixteen thousand in the garden since pandemic people are so when i tell you, it was fucking, there was an alley from half court,

and everybody's going to go to odds, too high, he's not going to catch it. And fucking art, he took two hands and yoked it. When I tell you the fucking plaque, I feel it now, the place, my son, my son, he was like two days before 12, and he just goes, let's fucking go! Oh, dude, he was like,

and then he was like, is it an orifice curse? I'm like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, we're at the next game. But the point of the story is the homeless around there. Like, my son was, like, it was more than normal. Like, New York City right now is fucked up. West Village, a woman was eaten.

Somebody just came with a crowbar smashed a window cutter back up. Like, it's still going on like in pockets. But my son was like holding my hand, like in pockets, but my son was like holding my hand, looking at me and then it was like lines of homestead. I haven't seen a New York in a long time. So yesterday, the sheriff, so the city council member is having a press conference down the boardwalk in Venice.

Now the boardwalk in Venice down here is a day facto shanty. It's the walking dead. What happened was Venice said, Beach said, well said we can live on the beach because it's a run by l.a. shout out to mayor garcetti and councilmember mike bonon who do nothing right so l.a. runs it so all of a sudden everybody who's anybody all over the country realizes you can sleep on the beach in venez so now there are three hundred four times ten so whatever it's shanty town down there what so so people get stabbed people get we go down there people are naked They say people are mentally deranged. They're on drugs. It's a disaster and the council member is down there

Given a press conference on what to do and homeless shit I was like naked comes up with a knife this woman and tries kind of a stab these Tarts comes up and starts to so they got to get the cops so finally the sheriff He sheriff have a lot of power in counties. People sure yeah and the sheriff of LA County came down and he goes So this is nonsense. This is nonsense. I'm clearing the whole fucking thing out by july 4th Really? Yeah, and so he goes if you look at it stops at Santa Monica and it stops at Maria Del Rey Why because they run their own city? Yep, and only Venice? So he goes and so now I'm coming in He goes, if you look at, it stops at Santa Monica and it stops at Maria Del Rey. Why? Because they run their own city.

Yep. And only Venice. So he goes, and so now I'm coming in and all the homeless advocates and all these people are, you can't do, you don't have that jurisdiction. That's cool. That's great. This is nonsense.

No, it can't live as for a- No, because people fight before it. They can take our kids down there. Yeah. Because there's a narrative that says, oh, this is a housing issue and a wealth pay gap issue. This is a fucking mental health problem. You get the turn.

I love the political. Oh, that's a digger. I'm like, why are you thinking this is financial? Because now, with how politically divided we are, there's a line in the sand. And if you even come close to hinting that you're not feeling for the people that don't have a place to, meanwhile, it's violent,

it's not good. But it's not good. It's not good. But if you say that, you're not feeling for the people that don't have a place to, meanwhile it's violent, it's not good. But it's not good. It's not good, it's not good. But if you say that, you're not compassionate at that. You shouldn't be allowed to set up a tent, a whole home structure on a public beach where kids and other people are going and taking a shit. And then what about the places of business

that can't make a dollar now? If you need your problems. And their entire life savings are in that business and now they're afraid to walk in. Those people not count? Yeah. And what about the people that and their entire life savings are in that business and now they're afraid to walk in. Those people not count. Or what about the people that spent their entire life savings to buy a house in Venice? It's expensive as fuck dude.

But now the property values down. They can't leave. That's right. You know what I'm saying? It's true. I can't sound my place. I mean, you know, so I don't, I mean, so what are you talking about?

It has nothing to do with compassion. It has nothing to do with this. This is nonsense. But it's not compassion. You like, you hear don't I mean so what are you talking about it has nothing to do with compassion? It has nothing to do with this is nonsense But it's not compassion like you hear these business owner stories Yeah, I'm not that good you want to instill because there's piss everywhere and you smell and they also contribute to a society Yeah, so who we gonna protect yeah, it's the economy Yeah, motherfuckers let's part of tourism is dead down there because you don't want to bite you It's it's also that these people are actually,

a lot of them are truly mentally ill and have a major drug problem. I'm gonna just show up addicts. And yeah, I don't know why we don't feel like, they're just like fucking getting high and that's their, yeah, and they need to get into a treatment center that you can't, if you're an addict and you wanna, you're not allowed to set up a whole meth den right there.

You're enabling him by doing nothing. But I'm not gonna live on B. It's fucking nonsense. It's nonsense. So how do they stop? What do they do? What they do is they get shared out. We'd all be wavered. The sheriff's coming down there.

What they're doing is they're going down there and they're going to 10 by 10. So you got to get out of here. You know, we're getting you out of here. That's happening. That's fixed the Venice Probe. Yeah. So now what we're going to 10 by 10, going, so you gotta get out of here, you know, we're getting out of here. That's happening. That's fixed the Venice problem. Yeah, so now what we're gonna do is, you hear the options for treatment

and options for where you can go and stay. Shelters, problem with shelters is, addicts don't wanna go to shelters. They have a curfew, they can't get high. And a lot of them, except women and children only, I think. That's true, but that's the shelter. Yeah, some of the shelters, yeah.

Yeah, and so it's a real problem. And there's like, yeah, like, because I guess a lot of times the women don't get like abused and they get raped and stuff. And they said the only like major metropolitan city that's done it right was Houston because they attacked it 10 years ago. Now they're homeless promise. They don't have a problem. But they're like the only major city who can sort of arrest it. You years right. I didn't really see me when we were out there not at all

There's a way to solve these problems That you put them off you my future takes care to shit Yeah, you ever hear Johnny you like Johnny and I'm Chris Chris you do yeah, but he was he wasn't kidding when he said He was like if if Johnny got he said if John gotty and those guys Or he's like the blasio and Cuomo would be I have a talk it to like this wouldn't be happening Yeah, and like there's kind of true. There's kind of I mean obviously what the mob does I'm not trying to cut don't but there's order there's like Hey, we're gonna make sure the neighborhood is clean. I remember you are You're gonna give us a cut. Yeah, we're gonna make sure that

I'm about to have a Like they taxes I don't have the mafia running fucking cow. The mass is right now, the hell fucking governor. I'd rather give them my money. I have some protection. If the mob is running shit, you're not going to have homeless people in the Navy.

It's not going to happen. In fact, notoriously, when the mob lived somewhere in that neighborhood, there was zero crime in any way. You're not paying taxes, anyway. How great would it be just to watch mob dudes walk out of like a joint and just walk up to homelessness go come I get up get you shit at I

Move it get get it like it smells like shit I Lunched his I remember when when I'm old much remember when when gotty ran the city, you know And it was a different thing anyway. There were certain areas and there were certain things you just didn't do you didn't do Yeah, if you don't have to. You didn't do, yeah. If you don't have to, like they weren't, they weren't like gang members

where you gotta worry for your safety. Like they only fucked with each other. Like their code was not to hurt innocent people. There was a family member. There was a real strict order. Yeah, and there was no like, no women and children. Yeah. It was just like if this guy fucks up or gets out of line

or you know that something's gonna be done and that's it, but things were nice. were new york was new york had the really bad in the early eighties you remember like with the graffiti was everywhere violence was everywhere in the juliani juliani was and that's great juliana he is a real bad is a little crazy now you don't know the real bad he changed so so juliana's father got shaken down by the mobile yeah and so juliana had a vendetta i remember remember julie answered you belong to an organized crime family in this city i declare we are

the right and julie on julie on you yeah he was a rickard all when he shut down for the market for the market was run by the mob straight up you didn't have a stand there unless you had you pay to big or you're involved with the mob in one way or another so the full fish market which was one of the biggest fish markets in the world, doesn't seem like a lot.

That's so much money. That's like fish is so big. It's a nice fish market though when they were running up. Yeah. I'm all for the mob you're coming back. As we keep talking about it. He opened it up though. He opened it up to, he opened up construction to different companies and he opened up

the full this market. I remember they set the whole fucking thing on fire. The whole fifth phone third market was burning to the ground. I remember it, there was smoke, it was on the news. Their mom was like, what? We can't, you take it away. Well then we're gonna burn it down. I've never seen that.

John got a liaison. Amy was John Getty and his son. To remember when he got pinched, son, they thought it was gonna take over. And they have the actual footage in prison of the son, going to talk to his dad. And saw that. So nervous.

And he's like, you know, I don't wanna be in this business. And his dad just looks killer, dude. No, he's like, you don't fucking rat. You don't turn. He's like, I'll stay fucking in here. I'm not talking. He's like, they're gonna come after you again. Don't you see? And then he starts leaving again. And he's like, I'll stay fucking in here. I'm not talking. Because they're gonna come after you again.

Don't you see? And then he starts leaving again. And he's like, no, daddy's wiping his eyes. He's crying. He looked at his dad. When his dad came out, I think his dad got out of jail and went into his room. And he was like so nuts, I was like, my dad.

And he looks at his wall and he goes, he's a poster. And he goes, oh, the meds, huh? And he was, yeah, I like to meds, dad. And his dad just goes, I'm a Yankee fan. He goes, from that thing poster and he goes oh the met's huh? And he was yeah, I like to met dad and his dad just I'm a Yankee fan. He goes from that thing Yeah That is a bucket Famous guy in New York It's not getting on the stage. That's why they're gonna mop your eyes,

gonna stand and get- You're like, fuck the mess. You're saying, Well Yankee's fizz. Because if you love your dad, even if he's a fucking male man, you're gonna roof a, if he's John Gotti. Yeah.

You know, my fucking dad got me into Star Trek. Like he was all about Star Trek. I was like, I guess I'll get it. There were only two times I saw those guys in New York. I remember I was in Cafe Cervento, and the Ravenite Club was right next door, right? So you'd see it with Limbo, and you'd see some dude,

kind of a burly looking guy with like a earpiece in and then the only time I saw anybody come in or out of that place, because we're always looking for God to go in, you know? And the only time I saw this, I saw these two guys about your size and built like you with suits on, they were walking out on their way somewhere.

And I never forgot, I never forgot to suck the boys on. Bro, that's when you realize that you're not a not a tough guy or a knuckle breaker Yeah Right here I would have had no choice You can't hang Yeah, why is dick, I'm sorry. I'm making some of those things. Why is it? Why is it always the desperate?

Like, I was gonna do this bit about like, are all drug dealers gay because it's always like, yo, dude, I had to suck dick to get, like why is always the fucking, like, could it be something else? It's always like, dude, I hit rock bottom, dude. Sucking dick in an alleyway. Why did it? Like, could you have, it always goes to's always like, dude, I hit rock bottom. I'm doing it. It's stuck in the neck in an alleyway. Why did it?

Like, could you, it always goes to that, like every drug. But what else is there? There's one thing. It has to be other options. That has to be other options. I guess it's a gay drug. It's almost like, is that like in the book? It's like, listen, man, I, you know, I'm not gay or anything, but it says, say you got

to suck my dick. I feel like that would be on bottom. I feel like it would be on bottom Even that like he abuse get yeah, like judge Jesse. He was he was also a crack Neat and it's like why is it always sucking dick? What massage like dude, you know what you got to do These keys I know When you're like this is a straight

I'm sorry, I lud you suck in the mafia as often as I Guess I gotta he likes it smooth Dry shaving by the way we started the show you started. I guess I gotta, he likes it smooth. I'm straight, it's just that I gotta get a big dry shaving. By the way, you started the show, you started the show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going, we're going. We're just gonna start a dog, I'm like, dude, how crazy is it? I was, what's the last time I saw you? So when I met, this is so cool, when I met you,

I was, this is years ago, because I, yeah, I haven't worked with. 2017. Was it 2017? Yeah, 2017. Okay, so four years. Yeah, so I was Burr called me up and goes, hey, you want to open for me at it was stand-up live? Yeah bigger one and we go to the hotel to meet and He's working the he's working at the hotel. He's working valet at the hotel

So you came up you were super nice. Okay, it was going on I liked your shoes and oh, yeah, I liked you Jordan's okay And I got yours on now But you came you came up to me and you were like hey, what's going on? I was like go we're at the comedy like oh that's so dope. I'm a comedian too Same bill came over and like I'm a comedian bill was like oh you want to do time tonight? And and he he was like yeah, so we met him that he came on stage You open like whatever you did great. It was fun. It was a good time and then it was a great week and then yeah then like from afar I just

saw what you were doing and it's so it's kind of crazy yeah like that we're here because I was yeah I was a fucking valley you you and Burr were boys from from New York so no burrs from Boston so he came up in the New York scene right came up in the New York scene and I like my first manager just like kind of through me I got an even host. He's just like I got a big one for you. It's gonna be Rascals comedy club Montclair, New Jersey. It was like OP and Anthony and it was like Burst first It was actually Burst first like weekend weekend for like him and he packed a place out 400 people Who should this was this after the Philly rant this This, he had like this, that he had like a few things happen.

I think I might have been this Philly thing, but and there's like 400 people. And it was Thanksgiving Eve. I opened for Bobby Kelly on the Thanksgiving Eve Wednesday. And then Bobby's like, he wasn't gonna be there for the weekend. And they go, oh, someone else is coming. Oh, Burr's gonna come in and do the Friday Saturday

after Thanksgiving. So he was 400 people dude. And I was like, not even a host. Like I didn't host. I would just like do longer sets and I got on stage and like I guess he heard me and he was like, dude, were you the other guy on the show? He's like, I was downstairs, he's fucking crushed and he's like, I'm gonna watch you.

So he just watched me, we kinda just stayed in contact that way and then like, oh, 8.09. He was like, hey man, you wanna come on then we just became like super, super. Then he just became like my mentor, he's my son's godfather and shit. And yeah, but he's like, like we were talking before, when guy like that says, you know, like when he's-

He's John Gotti, it was just like, he's John Gotti. Yeah, like that's the thing, it was like- I mean, I'm not gonna suck him off, but yeah, he's John Gotti. If you're made, he'll make it. He'll make it. Yeah, like made me- When somebody like, you know, like that is,

you know, working with you and it was like, hey, like he would say shit that like he saw, like that, the thing about Bill is, Bill is like even beyond stage, he's like a head of everything. So like, he told me like, it was like, fucking 12 years ago, I'm in my, we're in a condo. I got a baby at home, my wife, you know, and I'm featuring here and there for people doing contesting shows, doing the urban circuit.

And I'd worked with Bill a couple times and he called me up and he's like, yeah, man, so you know, I saw with you, you're gonna head long, you're gonna, you're gonna, still out clubs and you're gonna get into theaters. And I'm going like, this is 12 years, I'm going, dude, I'm making 400 dollars this week. What the fuck is he talking about? And he's like, no, man, he's like, I, you know, and he was, and so, and it, but he never would give it up until he was time to give it up. Like we were talking before, he'd always be like, hey man, he's like, I know. And he was, and so, but he never would give it up until he was time to give it up. Like we were talking before, he'd always be like,

hey man, good job this weekend. And then all of a sudden, I think it was like 2010, he's like, do watch what you're doing. And then he started to be like, oh man, you're ready for a special. And then getting that from, that means more. Like Colin Quinn gives you a compliment. Those guys give you, those are guys that,

like, that's why, like, I'd be honest, I didn't get in this business for podcasts or to be a radio host. I got in this business because Eddie Murphy. I got in this business because I saw Eddie Murphy Raw, not Delirious. For me it was Raw. My dad took me at, oh you saw it live. No, it was in movie theaters. And my grandmother, and my mother, I'm 42.

My grandmother and mother were like, you can't take me to see Raw, you know, it was like 1987 and my dad loved comedy. My dad took me to see Rodney danger field I started rock concert in D.C. oh did you yeah and he took me and I was like I was it game on Beverly Hills cop you know forty eight out everything was like I'm any any was everything so and then and then getting into this and and doing this was just like that was that was it for me like seeing that shit man that was yeah yeah, that's why, and then now here I am 20 years professional for like 16,

but it was always stand up first. So for me, it meant more, stand up meant more. Like, I see a lot of people going out for followers and doing shit, and there's certain things, Burr also said to me, another thing that he was right about, he's like, it's gonna take a guy like you longer because he knows my approach, you know, I'm a family dude, but I'm just not a dude

that's gonna fucking put on lipstick and fucking run out and do a man on the street. My underwear, yeah. And listen, if a fucking dude gets followers doing that and they sell out clubs doing that, I'm not hating on that, but for me, I love when my fans are like, oh, Verza, I love your approach, man.

Like you're just, it's a real genuine thing. I love your stand up, but for me, I love when my fans are like, oh, Versa, I love your approach, man. You're just, it's a real genuine thing. I love your stand up and so for me. You have the old school approach, more like the traditional comic approach, really. But I'm also like, I adapt to, I built a podcast studio in my home. I do, I have fun on podcasts, I love doing them, but it's just kind of like, I just love seeing

the development of stand up. I love seeing yourself get better from album to first special. Now I'm shooting my know, I loved, I just love, I love seeing the development of standup. I love seeing yourself get better from album to first special. Now I'm shooting my next special in September and it's like that's the, you know, where are you shooting in September? I think I'm actually, funny. I think I'm gonna shoot it at this 400 cedar

in West Nyaka. I might shoot it at, oh, you know, I'm in West Nyaka. Yeah, I've done that club. Yeah, so Rosie O'Donnell did an HBO there. They have a giant stage. It's like a giant stage. It almost looks like a little theater HBO there. They have a giant stage. It's like a giant stage It almost looks like a little theater and then it goes up a little bit and it's like a 400 cedar and I've

done that club. I'm supposed to do and I canceled. That's right. It's actually good club. It's actually I did my first one at the Terry Tom musical, which I love. It's like a you know, it's like a thousand cedar, but this one with COVID restrictions and I'm ready to go. So we just got to get it. Where is it going to be distributed? I can't I can't say, but I'll tell you off air. Yeah, I'll tell you off air, but it'll be on a major, it'll be on a major streamer. And I know that it's better than the first one. So I can't wait for people to I had to sit on it for like, I had to sit on it. But like, you know, having my peers go to next one, this next one.

Yeah. So I'm, you know, I was thinking about any Murphy, any Murphy might be the only comic ever to have been that good, that young, to be, to have had, but you're talking about, he was on SNL when he was 19 and the country was talking about him. And the whole country was talking about him.

Save the show too. I mean, the show, yeah, you can be the same. And then, and then stand up, I think it was Doug was talking about this. stand up is the only you know very few times We have a very young person right an amazing novel and I think stand up is very similar You don't really see people get get their voice into their 30s. You're not when you're young right very perspective Yeah, you can be funny. You can be like raw fun. Yeah, yeah, you know But but I mean it's really hard to kind of have be a comic where people go off

But any Murphy man he when he was 20 I mean stadium I went to a arena Chappelle to Chappelle was what 17 14 started great So I'm a time in so yeah, I feel like that too. I feel like you, you, you do it in your 20s. I feel like you get good at it in your 30s. And then I think if you, if you have a career and you were fortunate enough to get past it, then you become, then you could come up. Yeah. Yeah. Then you become one of the dudes. But like Eddie, I agree with you, Brian.

Eddie, when he did his drunk uncle or his brother, he took, he put you in a, mentally, you're in a movie. Like you're like, like you no longer saw any you saw the drunk father You saw the drunk father and then he's doing any 20 something years old as wife can't leave the house Yeah, so he's funny any somebody else related And then you're just such and then he just stop. I think I'm so rich and he started, my I have a couple theories on it. One, he got super rich and he got, I think he started smoking weed all the time 24, seven and sometimes that can kind of, it kind of dulls you a little bit.

It kind of kind of relieves you. Depends who you are, but I think with him in that sense, I think the combination of being high all the time with all the money, I think in this way being high all the time with all the money, I think in this way, I think it's more of all the money for him. Yeah, and as a comic, you just need that thing.

I think that's why Kevin Hart's a beast, because think about it, he's basically similar creator, Eddie, right? Like, major movie stars, maybe five bigger movie stars in the world than Kevin Hart, and still tours like a motherfucker. He will put it in the the word still does clubs. He has writers, but I'm just saying still, you know,

especially I did from his house, you know, pretty relatable, especially with kids. I think it was all doing it. Yeah, he's, Kevin's always stayed hungry, but I think Eddie was also afraid from what I heard. He was also afraid that his old anti homophobic stuff and also the fact that he got caught picking up somebody who was in drag. That was stuff that he was worried he was gonna get

called out on and he didn't want to. I heard another thing too that it was a lot of people were just shouting at him on stage. Like he was just so famous. Steve Martin said that Steve Martin said I knew I had to stop doing comedy when you know he's doing his Egyptian thing with the guitar and the his closing thing with the guitar would come down and whatever the stage manager messed up the guitar to income down and the crowd's dying laughing. He's like I didn't say anything. I haven't done any standup. Yeah. They're laughing at this bullshit like they should be upset because they paid all this money.

And then they were shouting my line before I could get them out. He's like, oh, yes, stop doing this. Yeah. The ride's over. Or right on the right. Yeah, I guess with Eddie, they were shouting like stuff from his movies. Adam was.

Eddie was saying, but the steamer's saying they were shouting his old stuff. Yeah. They're shouting, and he's like, this is it. This is it. This is what I'm doing. Yeah. So he's like, I get out.

I think too what you said too. I think Eddie is so, Eddie's been famous for 40 years on the level of fame. We think that some of these YouTube people are famous. This is like, Eddie is like Tom Cruise famous. Eddie is like, there's a level of fame and he's there in comedy with very few. You could even say above Chappelle and like,

Eddie Murphy's fucking Eddie Murphy. Like, I would say he's not a different. He's Eddie Murphy's not a sphere. Yeah, Eddie Murphy's like the fucking Michael Jackson of comic. I agree. And it's like an iconic thing. So tell. He's not as deeply talented.

He probably is afraid of expectations, but I think he's actually now. I think he should just, if he loves it, if he really, really loved it and wanted to do what he would be doing it and just put that aside, he's probably just like, he probably thinks it's not enough to gain. I think you're what you just said is he's worried about expectations. It's really hard to kind of like... You know he was gonna, he was gonna, he was gonna, he was started to do it, like he was booking clubs and stuff to get back into it,

because I guess you throw a party like once a month or maybe once a week in Kevin Hart and all the big dogs would go to it. And Kevin Hart on his series show was like, I'm telling you, he's the funniest guy in the room. Yeah, he can easily go to. He can easily go. So finally, he was like, I'm gonna do it. And we're like, yeah, and then COVID hit. So it shut it down.

So I don't know if he's gonna revamp it. I know he was thinking about doing it because he was talking about on a comedian's car, some coffee. Yeah, but that was before the pandemic. So he had a whole plant. And remember, poor Damon Wains, remember he was starting,

there was rumors that he's popping up at clubs, that at the commy store, they didn't announce that they said special guests. Yeah. So everybody thought it was, it was all the comics were all in the back. Like this might be any more of this. Yeah.

And Damon Wains walks in. So the whole crowd thought it was Eddie Murphy, doing right, love Damon Wains. Yeah, yeah. And when he walked in, I was like, my heart for him, I was like, oh, yeah. I remember that.

He could have the hottest 10 minutes right now. It's like, and it doesn't matter. It's like, because you're not Eddie Murphy. And all the kids were there. And it didn't go well. And I was like, oh no. Then he was up in the green room backstage and I just went up and I was like, what's up, Latchett, man?

You know, they were expecting Eddie Murphy. Frank Grover. He was like expecting Eddie Murphy. Frank Groove. He was like, Eddie Murphy. What the fuck? What Eddie Murphy gonna like, if it's Eddie Murphy no matter who it is, you're gonna be disappointed, like no matter who. It's like Frank Groove grew up,

it was telling a story about how he grew up pretty, really poor and his dad, they were gonna buy like a car. And it was like some kind of a, it wasn't a cut list, but it was like this new model, you know, Chrysler, so shit. And they were looking at the pictures and you know,

they had no money, so they're looking at pictures and Frank's like, look at the interior, it was leather and we got wheels, look at the wheels man, they're shiny and he's like so excited. He's like, we're gonna be able to drive around the neighborhood in this, he was making plans. And it's like, you feel like your dad has a car. And he's, they're leading him back then.

He goes to get the car and they're waiting to see the new car. Because they're gonna go places in a car. And it's also like, you know, it's just beautiful, shiny limo looking car. And he said, he pulled up and the wheels were that big. And it wasn't black, it was brown. It was shit brown.

And the interior was shit brown. And was shit brown and the interior was shit Frank goes like this with his mother he goes that's not the car He's gonna start to cry in his mother grabs Your father will never His car and you excited and Frank was his car and you excited and Frank was like What a jankster My wife was like oh fuck it's like when I turned 16 my best friend Joyce Shanegel his his his family got him this I'll never get this this Volkswagen golf and it was like lime green

It was the coolest thing and then he was like bro. You're next your birthdays in too much, bro I know I heard your dad and like no way. He's's like yeah bro. So 16 birthday. It's a Wednesday night. I'm I'm holding school tomorrow. It's me so fucking sick my new car. I'm not making that by swear at my dad hands me the gift And I figured you know, you're not gonna put you know put a picture of a car So I figured the keys were in the box and it was like a box like this and I'm all you crazy dad I open up I swear to it was a bike seat Oh, cuz I wrote bikes. It was a bike seat It was some bike seat that had like suspicions on it dude. I open up. I started crying

My dad goes I didn't think it'd be this big of a deal just a bike seat My son appreciates it. My parents, I call my friend, I call my friend, I call my friend, I'm like, I'm not getting a car man. He's like, what did you give him? Like a bike seat, he goes, oh, that's cold.

Oh, that's cold. My parents were the, they were the World Heavyweight Champion of Bad Gifts, the World Heavyweight Champion. They had gone to, my dad traveled a lot. They're in Switzerland. I'm like, you're gonna bring me back a Swiss army knife because all I care about is knives.

I'm not. So how cool is this? I've got plans, but I'm gonna go camping. Oh, it's not gonna do shit, but yeah. Of course, I've been the only thing in my head is Swiss army knife. I want the thick one because, that's all. And they brought me back a fucking sweatshirt.

My mother, my mother used to, you think I'm kidding, my mother used to wrap lamps from the attic. So I had something on I can't I can my father gave me his shit so like my father was like He's got the hand down like this chain I had dad from when I was a teenage I didn't realize I thought it would be a sentimental but it was cheap shit

but it was jeeps shit. What your dad's like one day, you're gonna have this coat. This coat. Where in New York, hey, at least you knew, though. My dad grew up in the bride. I was born in Yonkers, and then I've always been like a Westchester kid. You know, I was always right outside the city and shit,

but my father is, my parents got divorced, I was five. My father's a 100%. Like I know people have talked about, they're Sicilian fathers. I know Sebastian's talked about it. They fathers. I know Sebastian's talked about it. They were all Chrissy D talks about it. Yo, my father is another mother fucker. How so? My father is... Old school, so...

I mean, my father is like... He... You're not a man to him if you don't have like shoes and a watch that pop. I'm with your dad. My father would go to a pizza rea... I told the other day my father would walk in with pizzeria like a eleven hundred dollar gators and a fuck I love it and I sure need my father big gody sunglasses even in when it's dark Yeah, you know, and he just had to fuck around. He just had the fuck yeah him. We get along. We'd be in a car We'd be in a car and he go look at this look at this it's to grown man in a Toyota I need to beat your dad. Yeah, freaking beer, tattoos, all that to him was, like that shit, not classy.

Not totally like, yeah, it needed to be, it needed to be like. Arty Lang's dad wouldn't let you open his Cadillac door if you had rings on. You got rings on, let me open the door, you can see the past. My grandfather was 100% succinct. So the idea of what a man was and class. Like the all happened to those people. Like to me, that's cool. Oh yeah, that's what it should be. I love this stuff.

There's a real discipline to the Southern Italian kind of like a culture. There's a there are there are there are it's not so much that there are rules. There are principles that you never break right like it's like laws What is that that old thing laws are for regular people but there are rules and you never break rules Yeah, there's also a sense of respect to yeah, man I would never leave the house in sweats. You never can see me on sweat

Never he would get mad like we because I was just a kid like see my dad would talk to me at a very young age The way you you should talk to an adult. He treated me and my brother like that, but almost like detrimental, like, you know, he would always, he would just say things like, like, you know, my parents got divorced, got divorced. And he'd be like, yeah, man, your mother, you know, it's just, you turn to evil.

He's like, devil invaded us. He's like, devil invading the house. That's like, what the fuck? I'm like, I gotta go home. I live here. I gotta go sleep with the devil. I gotta go. The devil's gonna take a car in me tomorrow.

The devil's been my fucking wife. Your mom's gonna go. She went crazy. She went crazy. It happened sometimes. We would have a good night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like, and you know,

divorced for Sicilians, it's like 1982. I'm a fuck man. They don't do it. No, no, no, no, no. They stay together. You stay together, man. It was against the church, it was against the whole culture. Like family was everything.

Sundays, you had, you had, Sundays in my grandparents, that was what you sat down. There was a whole meal. There was a whole way, yeah. But it was number one thing for my dad though. So like in the 80s, the courts didn't give the man, the, you know, there was tough for the father.

And it still is. It still is, but like my father got like 11, no abuse, no cheating, just a bad, bitter divorce. And my father got 11 hours a week with me and my brother. So he had, he had eight hours on Sunday. He would pick us up on Sunday at 11. He would pick us up Sunday at noon, and he would drop us off after dinner at eight,

and then we were with him on Wednesday from five to eight. So my relationship with my father is like, you know, my father's down south now. He moved after, which is a whole other story. My father moved after 70 years in the Bronx. He's in West Palm Beach, Florida, and he keeps calling me to tell me how different Florida is. So he'll just go, Paul, Paul, and my dad gets real big with intros. Hey, don't, my dad, hey, don't, go, go, everything's good. He always starts out, everything's good.

Listen, listen, like he answers four questions that won't ask to him. Well, hey, don't, go, everything's good. And he always tells me he where he is. I'm still down here Florida. I may move there Listen is fucking hot There's fucking hot that got spiders down here like like prehistoric That's my family and dead like Like this is not for the pockets. It's not to be funny. This is not to be funny. This is my father, man.

Like to the like my father, you know, like olds, but he's like night, like he's like nice racist. Yeah. You know, like he's just like, it's just he's like grandfathered in where it's just because of the neighborhood. Yeah. But I've seen him with all different cultures

and he's fine. Yeah. But he's just like the neighborhood. He grew up basically like in a Bronx tale. So it was like that. Oh, I'm sure. My grandfather went to Bensonhurst, but it was my mother.

No, he grew up in the Bronx. And you're like, actually on the border of like, Yonkers, like he grew up in your like Arthur Avenue and shit like that. But he just has that, you know, like, because my father still can't believe what my mom was president. He talks like that.

You know what I'm saying? He walks in battle like it was Katrina. You believe that happened in his country? I'm glad your grandfather's dead. He never said that. And I'm just like, I don't know what to be. I'm not trying to be. I just think that the certain things

are black, and I should be like, we keep everything nice together. Like, he'll stay some wild shit and then just try to push and then they're like, it's about family though. What did he do for a living?

He was in, he's car insurance real estate, and he always had cash. He was just one of those. I was with my grandfather, always cash. Yeah, and like, Is that a thing? I have money.

Yeah. Money for us for suckers. You pay, you pay a thing. So he always had cash. Always. Now kids, it's like cash. Like, here's the thing. So what he cared about though, what he cared about most was, and my father always want meals,

food, right? And he would get a restaurant for us on Sunday, because he's with his boys and we would always go to like a nice restaurant But my father could be real rough on wait staff, right? So I'm actually I want to put this in the new hour because he he couldn't handle that I brought my family here on Sunday My kids who I don't get to see it needs to be right right so like Ville he's big Ville But he likes it big and he needs to be a big cut. So if it comes out small, me and my brother could see him look. And if his first bite will dictate the rest of it, even my father makes sound effects when my father makes noises and shit when he eats.

So if it's good, you just go, oh, oh, oh, like like you know like that. Yeah, one time I knew it was bad, right? I knew it was he just goes And he puts in his mouth and me and my brother saw and I'm like dude, I should go to the bathroom Oh, no, and drop it. I'm like, I remember before pechie got shot Oh, right. No, that's what he dropped before he just here. Oh, no. And like, yeah, he and then he'll go to the waiter and be like, listen, it's son. He actually said one time he goes, I brought my family. I can't. I brought my family. Like, that is what I give so far. Oh, yeah, that way it gives a fuck that it's like, it's like the world.

The cutler than salt is my honor. It's salt the way I live in my life. Yeah, so that's who like I kind of grew up with, actually, not really. I was five and then like, that's who I kind of grew up with, actually not really. I was five and then that's who I kind of. Older younger brother. My brother Christian is five years older. A good example of Sicilian is that,

like my grandmother always say, what's right is right. What's wrong is wrong. It's very simple like they're very things. And so they stopped going to the church a long time ago. They stopped, they just stopped there. Like nobody was religious. You know, nobody, nobody ate, but they're Catholic.

So even though my grandparents, my parents, stopped going to the church, there's no church, there's no praying, there's nothing. There's a crucifix. There's a crucifix in your room. And when I was 13, the priest came to the house to give me my confirmation. Oh wow.

So regardless, even though nobody really believes in going to church or even nobody talks about Jesus Christ, I still have to get confirmed. It's like a culture. Yeah, it's, you know, it's, it's culture is culture, man. I got baptized as Greek because my mother's 100% Greek. Oh wow. And my dad, like, that was no like, you know, the dunked in the water and all that stuff. But my son Lucas sent my son Lucas in Sophia. my son and daughter Lucas and Sophia, my dad said, you know, like you just said, my dad said to me,

and he said it as serious as you could imagine. His dad's serious, he goes, Paul, you know, I didn't hear anything about a christening or a baptism about his, or that he goes, you know, I just wanna tell you something's really important. And my father would always say to me, you understand what I'm saying? He would always say something.

I understand what I'm saying. And I go, yeah, and he goes, listen, he goes, you know, if they're gonna make it to heaven. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, if they got to get into heaven, this needs to happen. So that's exactly what the, that's dead end. My grandmother and my grandmother, grandfather said to my sister when she had her baby, she said, they said, they said, get the kid baptized. And my sister goes, but you're not, what do you mean? You're not, when was the last time we were in church? She goes, I know, you just in case,

because sometimes as a chance, it could be a limbo. What? A limbo, yeah. So you're not in to have it, huh? Yeah, we don't want confusion up there. You have to. Like, if you have mid-actors, you'll be in this way. There's no confusion when they get to the gate.

You're getting limbo, you know. You're on the good way outside in line. Everybody else getting in. These are not superstitious people, by the way. But to them, they were like, that's a very important thing. That's the case. It's like a vaccination card in to heaven I would say they pointed up to an area like it might be in limbo. They look like it's like

It's just waiting You know They spin around and you know what you have to do is every head what? No dude, he was I like sometimes I wish if it was recorded I my dad is so over to top with some things that I feel like I would get canceled. Oh, really? Because he's my father, and I'm just like, I visited him for 11 hours. But like he's just, I'll do my father.

You got an association. Oh, dude, my father's here. My father's, my father's, I'll lay on my father. You see what they did to Trump? You see this? And I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm not really watching.

I'm just, you watch your kids. Watch your kids. I just tried to divert. Like I just Watch your kids. I just tried to divert. Like I just tried to divert. I just tried to divert. How long has he been in Florida? He's been in Florida for like two years now. Oh, okay, oh, it's so fresh.

Yeah, so it's new and it's new for him. So he wants to talk to us and tell us. But here's the thing, I know I'm painting a picture of like this. He's like, like, educated and like so nice. Like if he met you, it would be like, oh my god, how you doing? Of course. Like, your friends and my son nice like if he met you he would be like oh my god how you doing all your friends and my son like he's just like a it's just like this instilled thing that they have from the neighborhood passed out from generation to generation

yeah yeah it's it's what he put like never like keep talking I'm gonna appear I'm gonna die oh we take break yeah we're it's gonna gotta be You can take a break. You said I got a beat. I love it. It's like tight squeeze. It's good. Let's take another break with our boy Paul Verzy. Because one thing that got me started riding bikes on the road

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Back from a hop his break back from a hop his break guys. I got to meet your father No, he's he would be you would be like oh my god. He's like the nicest. Yeah No, he's he would be you would be like oh my god. He's like the nicest. Yeah I just love that like all the sort of so much. I'm surprised we're running. I know right? I will I will times that we won lately like I can I like I keep laughing in my head about these Girl man at Toyota. Yeah, I was fucking a story if you guys want. I'll tell you guys a story I was gonna I always had this story The honest alluded to it a little bit on Rogan, but it's my it's my story But he kind of got into something my father this story. The honest alluded to it a little bit on Rogan, but it's my it's my story, but

he kind of got into something. My father, this is 100% true. And I've never told this full story on a podcast. If you want to hear my father's talk, this is 100% true. Now, this is not bullshit. In 1973, my father, my mother, my grandmother, my aunt saw a UFO over young in Yonkers. And it was all over over and my father's version of it might be the funniest thing that my father First of all my father so I fucked it. All right. This is this is real my mother's father in UFO together It's just I'm locked in. Yeah, so I'm not even a thought it's 1973 my mother was pregnant with my brother Christian My mother was like 22 years old right my grandmother Yeah, yeah is what they call,

your Greek grandmother. She has little, you know, house in Yankers and she had a lot. And it was like, the sun started going down. And there was like a TV room. And my father hears my grandmother, mother, and aunt going, oh my God, what is this? Like what is this?

Tommy, get out here, you gotta get out here. So my father told me and my brother this from young and still to this day, since he wish he didn't see what he saw, but he knows what he saw. And let me start off by saying, my father said that anybody, before this point that said they saw a UFO or aliens,

he thought that they were crazy hillbillies that just wanted attention. He thought that they were mentally ill. And he said that, he goes, I thought these people were all fucking crazy. Paul, I saw, so he goes outside outside and he says he sees over the thing They said it's low and it was actually all over newspapers the next day Says it was a low silent

Silent fucking thing and he said it had like a blue Like a tin blue thing and he said there was like little port holes or something around and he said He's looking at this thing and he said they're just fucking staring at it and he's going what the fuck it's not making noise and he got real like scared and he's going Oh my he said when he said he goes I felt like I could either throw a rock or if I had one of my shotguns And then he goes but then he goes I know these things could read your fucking mind So I got scared I was thinking it so I ran back in the fucking house and I started looking out the window. He's like, because I'm not having those fucking things take me out. So he goes back outside, right? And he said, and he says he goes, Paul, I swear to God, I would never lie to you in

your brother. And he's still, he's never changed the story. And he's still to this day. He said, in one fucking second, it turned into a dot. He said in one second, this thing turned into a star, and he swears to God. Does it took off? But he's going, he's going, pull. I'm seeing, I'm looking at this fucking flying saucer. And I haven't heard somebody say flying saucer

since I got fucking ice cream and carva. It's a, he's going, I'm fucking, those are looking at this flying fucking saucer. I can't believe it. He's like, what? He's like, yeah, he's like, what is it? He's like, I know right. He's like, I'm fucking, those are looking at this flying fucking sauce. I can't believe it. He's going like a flying sauce. This thing wasn't from his fucking world. I could promise you that. Whatever the fuck, whatever the fuck that thing was, it was not from this world.

I promise you. I would never lie to my boys. I thought those people were crazy to see that. So it's 1973. So he tells my mother, you know, like, it's it's a silly he goes you don't fucking tell anybody you don't fucking tell anybody they're gonna think we're fucking crazy you know I don't and like it was like a code like like now when like now that it's out my father always goes I don't I know I don't care what I've always known. And it's actually really true.

So my father was before, I probably wouldn't be in comedy if my parents had been divorced. My dad was like a big wigga day IG down the city. They were looking at a $800,000 home in 1982 right now. Oh, shit. So you know what AIG would provide insurance

to insurance companies. Yeah, yeah, he was like, and they went, they went, but bailed up during the crisis, right? They, yeah, I think, I think, but like, this is like, 1997, my dad is like, huge. Just out of college and he's like, he's like, they loved him and he was like the guy, and he's making money and my father was really,

and I think this is what my mom, I guess, I want to say, they were just different. You know, my dad want to come home like, for a coke and her for a coke. My dad want to wear a Rolex get her, and my mom didn't care about that shit. My dad was very much like, we're gonna take over, we're gonna take over.

It's very short love. We're gonna get a fucking out. We're gonna get a castle. We're gonna get a boat. Like my father thought that that was what it was. So he said they're at a barbecue for AIG, and they go to drive down to Long Island and all the companies there.

And it's the 70s and everyone's having a good time. And my mother goes, Tommy, come here. Let's, remember we saw the flying saucer. Tell everybody the time. And my dad flipped, like, just made my mom look crazy. He goes, ah, she's, wait, we don't know what we saw. Oh, fuck, I told you, these are my bosses. These are my, they're gonna think I'm fucking crazy.

And, but he did tell me, he told me that, and the way he described it was so funny, but he told me that it bothered him that he saw it, and that he wished that he didn't, because he's still, like, he knew for the whole time, like, during this, that there was something else out, like, he knew. And, like, so now that it's out and and pilots and the government is going yeah that's not from

this world he always knew but he told me he sat down me and I probably said it's out there and like we saw it and then my mom who's very kind of religious and Christian and remarried we're like mom is it is it is it true and and Janis pop has got so fucking into this he was like you're mom I know your dad, but did your mom see so like he came over to a family thing He went up to my mom. He goes did Paul told me did you really see that and my mom who's even religious She's like I have to say she yeah, we saw it like you don't see something flip over your head And then it turns into a fucking star in an instant and and say I didn't see that like yeah or like try to it It is what it is religious origious or not, you saw what you saw.

So, and he said it just stayed there. He said it, the two things that were consistent always was that it was silent. It was silent just hovering there and then it turned into a dark star. The government's still not saying it's aliens. They're saying it is a UFO, which means unidentified flying object.

So they're saying we're the same. We're not confirming aliens. We're saying it could a it is a UFO which means unidentified flying object. Yeah, so they're saying we're the same We're not confirming aliens were saying it could be a military drone could be from China might be our military could be an alien We don't know what that Jackie Gleason's story too. I mean that that I think that I don't think that that's a lie You know you heard the thing about Jackie. Oh Jackie Gleason was was wife wrote a biography and she said he came home one. He was very close with Nixon it was very close with Nixon you know what they called Jackie gleeson because you're young the great one they call him the great one he was he was he was he was at the honeymoon he was the star of the honeymoon he was in all the burp burp burp burp burp burp he was one of the greatest

comedic comedic actors maybe the greatest comedic actor and I actually say they actually say that what his stand-up they said there was no video or audio at the time They said he walked into a fucking they said he walked into a comedy club and we just fucking grab the mic and just let him up He was in have on him in the hustling. Oh, I heard he had he would have like they said he would have like 12 scotches throughout the day Each takes all day smoke and the doctor was like and he was like this is how I need to get him to 71 But he was like that's he was he was they called him the great one so he said a nixon so so him and nixon were very very close i believe it was nixon and his wife said he came home pale as a

ghost one time and he said they took me to a naval base and i saw them doing some shit on on living creatures on something that was not from here and uh... and he said that's a story career that's a famous story that he was close to they put them down in a naval base and uh... and he saw some shit that uh... and that's a story career that's a famous story that he was close to they put them down in a double base and uh... and he saw some shit that uh... work and work meant for us to see yeah i don't need to be brought down i don't want to have to see that shit i'm all i'm all i'm all i'm all i'm yeah but you want to see it i'll hell you you want to see what's up

the president snow what's up hard on our on our podcast burgos verse what would you say to them and i was like he's like i go yeah i would just try to talk to him and I just go yo you guys everything good he goes first way you go you can't start with yo burgos really you're gonna start with you know what to do but I would be I put my hands up just be like oh I'm you know what's weird we automatically because of movies and books we automatically assumed through this evil as fuck They might be really cool. They might be dull. They say that the idea would be that they're a higher life form So that they are really like it is very very primitive. It'd be like like me. Yeah

It's like the way we look at chimpanzees. Yeah, you know what you don't do with a chimp up What you do tell me No, what do you not do to a chin back? No? What's a sign of aggression? What's a sign of your aggression? What? Yeah, no showing your teeth? Yeah, smiling Don't do this to a chin They say wolves So they say wolves too. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Chins are like, ah! They bite your face. That, uh, that's cool. That comedian, Joe Zimmerman. You know, Joe Zimmerman, he's a comic. His album was called Smiling at Wolves because that's same thing with them. Anytime they, anytime those predator, you know, they see that shit.

They do that. Yeah. His Smiling at Wolves and it's, uh, yeah, I don't everyone. I'm not into the fucking those shit like You just gotta know how to talk to him. So good get the kids the bears not The grizzly hold the baby Well fucking it y'all still how many how many fucking Japanese tourists their kids get killed because they put their fucking kid on top of the fucking bison Yeah, yeah, one. Yeah, yeah.

One girl got flipped by a bison, remember that? Yeah, yeah. That's what you want to say. Yeah, don't go up to them. Did you see that cougar going at that hiker in Utah? Yeah. That was that scared me. Is that recent?

Yeah, it was probably like, like six months. You see it? Yeah. Those are the bikers. They ate the one friend. No, no, this is just one guy walking. I don't know. He was high.

He was feeling it. Oh, that guy, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the guy's going, and he was like yelling at it. I was like, you know what I'm called, bro. Yeah, no, this is just one guy walking. He was going to see the one. Oh, that guy. Yeah, yeah, and the guy's going to go on and he was like, yo, had it. Yeah, bro, bro, he's going to fucking do it. Please, but I would, I like, I was scared for that. You hear the bikers in Washington, they ran their bikes, and they saw like it, he was a starving mountain mind. And so they were like, oh, we're going to stop and they say get real big and bring this so they put their bikes up in the mountain lines. Like, oh, fuck're gonna stop and they say get real big and bring, so they put their bikes up in the mountain line.

I was like, oh, fuck it, these guys stopped. And it kills them. Start attacking the one, fucking them all up. The friend goes, fuck this noise. I'm gonna go get help, also leave you hanging because mountain lines eat your ass first. He goes running and the mountain line goes, oh, cool, you wanna run while I like to chase.

So I'm gonna leave this guy here, goes after a guy that went to run to get help, also ditch his friend. Eats him alive, another guy gets back, and to run to get help, also a digits friend, eats him alive, another guy gets back, and then the cops come in, they see the mountain line, they see the guy, the mountain line dragged the guy into the tree. Why?

They felt like his head and it killed the mountain line. What the fuck? That's like, did you see? Cause you can't turn over to the show. That's what they say, don't turn over to the show. No, shut it, run. The guy, the guy, I think it's somewhere out near Edmonton, he's running, he's jogging,

and mountain line just comes out of nowhere, comes out of him, and he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, and sprays the fuck out of it's somewhere out near Edmonton. He's running. He's jogging and Mountland just comes out of nowhere comes out of it and he goes whoa Oh, and sprays the fuck out of it and then he goes Like that it's on YouTube. I think it's crazy. They don't they don't fuck around the mountain line 150 pound mountain lines. It's not a good I'm not a guy. I'm not a bad guy. Don't pandemic. I see all sorts of animals and I saw fucking Bobcat Oh, yeah, that was a long time. Yeah, fucking polls. Oh, yeah. Yeah No, that's scary. Wait, what about um? Yeah, yeah, that was alarm. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's scary. Wait, what about, um, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see the video of the guy choking off that choked the mountain line out? Two coogers up here. The man behind the

camera phone is Donnie Stone. He's in He sent those in. Poor Guest Malore. She isn't a producer tell you which one's to be. It's part and events. He sent those. He sent Sinister 7. He said runners are getting tips to deal. They end up a noise from behind. Huh? Get out of here.

It went from being ecstatic to seeing them and being like really scared. Just so I saw it. Dr. Mark Boyce and ecology. It went from being ecstatic to seeing them being like really scared Dr. Mark Boyce and ecology that was it all right, I guess I Would never go into shit like that without rifle or god If there's grisly in the area or cool girls that seem to like humans Going out there with my god. I got to have a on. Got it. Yeah. You guys know Bobby Kelly? Yeah.

No, all the fucking amazing. Yeah, he's a deer friend of mine and he wants to go camping. Camping is shit. And like, you know, I was like, Bobby does, I don't see Bobby. He loves to, like he was like, you know, we went dude and it was a five fucking hated every minute. I was freezing. I was saying fucking, and I was saying, I go hiking, I mean hunting with Rog it. I was freezing. I'm the same fucking ass. I'm the same one.

I go hiking, I'm hunting with Rogan, and we're both, it's so cold. Is that mean you're the, yeah, we're on meters. And we're in the Missouri, the Missouri break sort of is called, and you're up in Montana, and it's fucking the middle of what, nowhere. And I just, you wake up and you're sleeping the shit tent on the ground, your body is not used to it and your

Fuck in freezing you're freezing right and I just hear broken I can sit here He was so cold his lips lips, he's got his biggest lips in the world. He's going to, he's going to, he's listening to us, and he's going, his whole face is going, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, sh, sh, sh, shush, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh I'm camping because camping blows. And I'm like, amen mother fucker. I thought he was all scared for me because I see rattlesnakes and he's not mine's ride bike ride. And he goes, you have a knife? And I don't know, fucking knife.

He goes, you need to do something. So I go to studio, the fucking machete. I'm like, why can't I ride my bike? I take that on your hook. I'm fucking knife from the fucking heavy bolt. I'm on, why can't I can't run my bike Oh fucking night from the fucking Abel I'm on a bike My broadsword

I bought a Swiss army knife right like I just went to the store and got like basic shit And when I got there, I got a steak I got a stick and I like I did one of those things Yeah, and Bobby because yeah, dude. I saw the movie the edge too and Bobby goes, yeah dude, I saw the movie The Edge too. From The Edge? Yeah. With Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex like a whole and I'm like, and he's like, I was like, let's do a cabin. I was like, I'll do a cabin and then we go fishing. You know, you don't want to do it. So I was like, I'm not into it.

They want to sleep on that fucking ground. I can't do it. I did it one time and I fucking hated it. It's not for online, so I was just wearing a grizzly bear. No, you see him out there, if I can scare the show, I tell you what scared the fuck out of me and my family was, we went to Montana,

last year saw a moose. Like a straight up, a chick scary. Moose. Oh, well, they're fucking enormous. Yeah, cute. And my son, he's just seeing him on cartoons and books like, dad, let's get out and the guy driving us. No, you don't want to, you don't want to get out

because we had a problem last season with that. They killed him. And I go, problem and she goes, yeah, I'll tell you later, I don't scare the kids. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, and snakes for me, dude. Snake, that's it. Well, I'm in a pit fight, but not fun to get bit by, right?

No, these rattlesnakes that I see, the first one I ever saw, it was based on that movie on the condo. This thing was fucking annoying. They get pretty bad. And I'm not used to them. When I first started, I'd see them every day, and I was so scared.

And then eventually, I thought, they're just chillin'. Think about it, fucking. They're not like comin' and eventually like they're just just think about a fucking they're not like coming at you they're literally just chilling hopefully you don't run over one with the bike but you they're just doing the thing about a me dog think about a me dog I wore a bike suit and yeah and I've got some they let these malin was after us yeah dude they bite even when you have a bite to they bite so fucking hard and then pull you all right oh dude that's a 80 pound dog well have a dog to they bite so fucking hard and then pull you all right oh dude that's a 80 pound dog well seven dollar Belgium out they kind of look like German chef but it's but it runs and there's

skinny dog keto German chef yes there's no now take 150 pound mountain line or a wolf or a fucking bear that fucking thing came up and beat that thing will fuck you guys will fuck you I don't think you should have cheered it horrible. If you're as big as Brandon, you can absorb that. I had that one trained. You had it from the Navy SEALs, yeah. I don't think you would, I don't think mountain line would attack somebody as big as you, actually.

I think it's one way to find out. But a bear would, bear be like, you have bears like, more meat. You see a real wild moot, like a fucking male moose, 10 foot from fucking hoof to fucking antler. They're insane. It's not hearing a peep at it. Look at that fucking thing. Oh, it was a size of

the fucking escalator. This thing would have destroyed the fucking car. You see that anaconda that swallowed that dude? What? No. Yeah. You kill it. You kill some. And indeed, or something. And I kind of swallowed a dude like that there from South America. You could do this thing. This thing thing just swallowed a person and it horrified me to this day I can't what a shit way to get the worst kind of it was saw I mean There's a picture There's a picture is this where no that's it. Oh this one. Yeah, I was a python dude. God

That's a bird. Yeah, dude, they said that that's a person. Dude, that to me right there. So a python did actually eat a drunk guy in India. If that's not the most horrifying thing you've ever seen, I don't know what I don't know. Oh, that's terrifying. I don't know that's a body. Yeah, that's real though.

There's one that there's a woman. Another woman just like a month ago got eaten a lot. What? Let me see the picture. Because they're out there farming. They're out there farming and then the water to Indonesia, yep, yeah, I can't No way Indonesian women 23 foot long python squalos Indonesian woman. That scares you. Yeah, I don't even like to

Yeah, you're all bunched up about I get it. All right, it's off. I guess Mustache You're all bunched up about it. I get it. Dude, dude. All right, it's off. I guess. No, no, I'm just saying it. Dude, that wouldn't have a mustache. I should look framed. That was a man. Yeah, that looked like a man. That was a man. It's said woman, but she had a mustache. I don't know.

Go to some current events, dude. She's some current events. I'm going to do one thing. So a retired nun who used to be the principal at a private school here in California was recently arrested because she embezzled over $800,000 from the school so she can gamble in Vegas. Yep, she got audited and what I thought was funny is that she is also being investigated with another nun that helped her

and the nun was Asian. And I feel like because it's gambling and Asians that the Asian nun had everything to do with it. Asian love, Asians love gambling. Asians love gambling. What is it like the slots, right? In Vegas, we love slots, we love roulette, we love. Yeah, exactly.

I don't know what it is, but I think it has something to do with Chinese New Year and how we like to gamble to almost like test our luck throughout the year That would go to Vegas is like on steroids because I think the biggest I mean I went to Hard Rock Cafe walk through casino. Yeah, fucking Asians galore specifically Chinese. Yes, smoking sip in One of my brother's best friends. He's got the ugliest white people in the world. I just love can't get enough Yes, just can't get enough. Just wants that goes goes to I don't get there on a meal I get it. I sit down there. It's a dress. It's a really great. You look around

You can see how it's addicted I don't Now the addictive personality I don't you get the juice and you get there some people cannot stop I think I think if you go to a casino And like I won two grand once in one hand and I was just like oh dude like that's that was like I bought a car. I was like like bet on sports is so much better. Oh, I know that's great. Yeah, having some action on an I felt better. I'll bet on shit fights it makes the fight so much better How do you do what's your overall record? I pretty good because I work work with draft kings right so I got to look into it and then give Picks is people a bit money on the Picks I really look but as an ex fighter now like I'm interested

in this shit I don't I'm sure you've got asked in my time to get bored with the ship but when you're watching these guys like can you tell when you're watching them walk to the before that you know when they're doing all this when you see their eyes and you can tell, like, oh, this guy's either nervous. This guy's that I know. Okay. If I have a personal relationship, we don't have like, oh, fuck, it's gonna be the one.

He doesn't look good, he doesn't look, it doesn't look. Okay, so you could go. Especially when I'm really close to him, like, oh man, he's about to get fucked up. And if you don't know him, it's a guess like me. Yeah, yeah, 100%. What was the fight that you felt really confident where you weren't that afraid?

Roy Nelson, no care, he was at the loss. And you felt really confident where you weren't that afraid Roy Nelson No care, too much I lost and you were you I'm gonna steam roll both of them. Was it nervous? You weren't nervous. No, didn't go my way There was like excuse me. It should be nervous. He couged Right the face they were so experienced still though. Yeah That's got see that's some shit like listen I had the pleasure of performing Madison Square Garden and Carnegie Hall and shit and like you know You bomb that's tough, but like I think you have see I still said that's the most balls You should to go in there knowing that you could just go what happened

Yeah, that's the craziest thing is he's motherfuckers getting knocked out and then you just feel like he did just go They look at that they go what happened I'm yeah, yeah, I mean it's balls balls you at the same time. It's also stupid. To me it takes more balls you can stay at my square garden and you know like that's a different animal. Get and put to sleep in front of your kids though man. Like when you see I'm looking because I didn't have kids. Yeah, like I don't know why fighters. I know like for inspiration, but if I have a ring size. I was like yeah, I would look at the vagasatz even on myself.

I'm like dad. I'd be like, I'm a plus and a hundred. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a plus and a half. Tell my kids at home. Yeah, sweetie. Don't let them watch TV. I'm a plus and a hundred families. Yeah, it's video game night.

Yeah, right. Tell him daddy's going on vacation with his boys. I'm a plus and a half. You're not watching the fight tonight. Daddy's gonna get his ass with. Yeah, daddy's gonna get his ass with. I'm with watching the fight tonight. That is gonna get his ass blown. Yeah, that guy get his ass blown with the kids see-throughs. And you know how like my son would always say like if my son was like mad at me, he knows what to hurt. He'll be like, well so maybe you're not that funny. Could you imagine being a UFC fighter

and you don't get your kid a video game? He's like, yeah, well you got your ass swept last week. Oh my god. What kind of game was it? What did you want? ass swept last week. You're gonna fucking hit the bed. I'm all kind of game wasn't what you wanted. You're a fucker. It's so cut and dry man. That's the thing. It's so, that's the best way.

It's so cut and it's so, so is comedy though. It's pretty black and white. Yeah it is. It is. How many people do you do well or you don't? 100%. And when you don't, see at least it in fighting if I'm doing bad, it's gonna be a short night.

You know what I'm back in the locker and like, all right, I'll work on my mistakes. Stand up, this, that's where, you know, if you have a full hour, you're 20 into it and you know, you're just, that's why Teddy has a comb through the mud and you're like, I'm up in for 40 more minutes y'all. Like, let's try bringing it up.

Teddy has said the ring is where, and any fighting arena, that's where the truth comes out no matter what, you'll find out what the truth is and I think stand up the same way. Samson, you're up there you fucking you either have it or you don't I don't care who your agent is I don't care what your talent is. And nothing drives me more nuts when it comes back to us because I'm fucking crowed and we go. Oh you think it's the crowd you don't want to be with that paid money to laugh. Oh you think they're the problem? No exactly.

No no no there's only one comment denominator because you think they're the problem? No, exactly. No, no, no, no. There's only one common denominator. Because you think it's the crowd last week too? No, right. It's not the crowd. Yeah, yeah. Great fits him instead of best. He's like, if you're not, if they're there to laugh. So if they're not laughing, it's 100% you know.

What I agree with 100%. 100%. Yes. But it's like a headlining set. Like you have time to like, dig yourself out of you can dig out of like area I tell you was it was interesting when I didn't miss miss patch, you know, I did a guess But yeah, it was a predominantly black crowd What's weird is you know my fans all mess around some of the the gay stuff on my life be easier if I was gay

And the black crowd they didn't they do not they did not play that game They did not like the gay stuff. But then the other stuff, they loved. They fucked with you. Yeah, they loved. But the gay stuff, they just did not entertain. Everybody's gotta do a black crowd. Yeah.

I came up doing, when I was coming up and no clubs would work, I was just new. I would do, I did the urban circle, I did the black rooms, contests, and it was like, it was scary, but I had to do it. It's different, right? It was, I texted, I texted girl, because you know, it was miss miss Pat and he goes swing big,

swing for the fence with a black crowd. He's like, don't hold back, take big chances. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I would just had to do it and just see and like, you know, they was honest. It's the most honest reactions you'll ever get. Yeah. Because if they fuck with you,

they fuck with you. Definitely heavy, yeah. But if they don't, they'll let you fucking know. Yeah. Right there on the spot. I had one person go, preach. Preach. It's a rack. It's a double heckle though.

Yeah, it's a great deal. You know, back to get ready. Were you in New York when the Boston would do the Sunday nights at the Boston and talent? Yeah, I know. It was a couple of times. Yeah, that was so Sunday, so the Boston Comedy Club was in New York. It was in New York. It was called the Boston Comedy Club. It was in New York. It was around the corner from the boss and comedy club uh... was in the new your it was in the car the boss and comedy club was in the u.s.a.

ralacona from the comedy seller uh... and sunday night talent who is just so hilarious he was one of the like the new york kings of comedy right he would host this thing and crush and it was an all-con we're outside all comics were outside and you were nervous you tried to get on and he put me on one time and you know it's just p it's just like, it was felt like Def Jam, but like bring it, be funny now.

Oh, this is black night. Yeah, it was a Sunday night, but all comics would go, and everybody was like, it was like an event, and I did it, and luckily it went well, but it was one of those where you're thinking the whole drive down, you're like, this is gonna be my drive home, and I can't really don't

I was a new comic I didn't I've been doing stand-up for exactly 10 minutes and I was at the New York comedy club on 24 Yeah, that's the first place I ever did in New York City me too. It's still got us. It's still yeah Yeah, yeah, the new owner Emilio took it over a few years ago. It's fantastic Well, I I it was an all black route. And I tried. I tried some animal shit. Is there anything worse? No, I tried some animal shit about it.

What's it like to be born a legless, dead light with fur in the middle of the South Pole? No, I'm a human. And you know what they're not having it. You did the payment thing. I don't know what I heard. I heard this woman go, wow. And it didn't get better from me.

I was like, I got a feeling I go, this is not for me. It's not for me. I did one really bad. I had good times and I would get into contests and do well, but I had one I never forget. I drove down to Philly to the left house. It was a black room on South Street. And I was, yeah, man, I just got back from Kansas City and just one woman goes, why?

And the show was long. And I went right when she said, she said why? And I'm not even 30 seconds in. And people just, it was like two hours And I'm the guy the guy before me goes I think it was called himself sugar bear rest is slowly passed away But it was like all these comics and they were like oh, you'll go you did good last time So you're gonna co-host which I mean call you're gonna co-headline with sugar bear and he goes up

And he was supposed to 20 and he does and he goes boy now they're tired Bring me up. I just got back from Canada. He's she to do 20 and he does, and he goes, boy, now they're tired. And then they bring me up, and then they just come back from Canada. And he just goes, why? And people just slowly started telling people that they just slowly started walking them again. And the midnight show was about to start, and people just start slowing. And I just stayed in it. That sugar beer? Yeah, I rest a soul.

Yeah, I heard he passed away with a so he, it was that he goes on, because before he goes on, he goes, I think they're getting tired, they're getting tired, or they're almost tired, then he gets off, he goes, now they're tired.

And then I went up and just tried staying in the pocket, people slowly, the only time in my career that people just were just tired, they just kind of slowly walking out, and then someone was still there, and I just, I remember that I got paid. And I got paid, all right. Take it like, I didn't even want to say thanks or buy.

He's trying to get you caught. So I thought you were fine with one. You guys keep that. You guys keep it. I don't want to do it. I don't know how to do it. You guys keep that. Yeah.

Just you're a token. There's a guy I won't hit say his name, but he's at the comments door store and he goes on very late and he shouts a lot. And he got up, he tried to get up at a club and on the road and they said, well, we'll headline here. And he's got exactly 10 minutes.

And it's funny if he's shouting at one o'clock in the morning at the comedy store and People the prime hours. I know exactly and so he he he gets up and he starts going And people are just like now. I mean people are from this is in Kansas They're like this no what's going? They're like this no what's going on? Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, okay, literally, he goes for, it's supposed to go for an hour, 45. And about 15, 20 minutes in, he goes, thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and runs away, and he couldn't find him. And they couldn't find him, and they found him in a Dunkin' Donuts club.

And he's sitting like that drinking coffee, like that, and man, she's drinking. And he's on her club, and he goes, hey man, you're all right, he goes, I can't have you, I have like, no problem, no problem, I don't like that. I get it, I get it. He's not a fan.

He's a bum, he hurts your soul, it hurts your soul. When you have one club. I get it, I get it. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad.

It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad.

It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. But I think what happens is you get bulletproof where you're like, I think you have different tools. You're like, yeah, like you're like in your mind, you're going, okay, this is one where I have to do this or that and different tools come out. And you get through that.

But one of the funniest shit, you know, you guys know when you see somebody that you know on stage, and it's not going to, I was at the stand and my buddy is hosting, and he's just hosting the show, and he's doing all right, and then he does a joke that gets fucking nothing, and then he just goes, no, but I like you guys What's going on back there? You got no dude he got no but I like you guys He pointed to a dark corner. I don't even know if anybody was in the corner. He pointed to just he just picked a spot

I like you guys I like you guys just throw it off at him. I fucking, I was with him. It was the guy like, yes. Yeah, it was like, he was talking to himself, God, they didn't like this. But now I'm like, you guys, man. I like the fact that he pointed out.

He pointed out, he pointed out, he pointed out. He was going on back, he just so really, he's so really, and he's like, fuck me, man. I So I break a glass any anything is better Now anything other than me is better. It is There is absolutely nothing worse. It gets that quiet. You guys don't. No, man. I like a lot of that. What's going on back there? Is that a game? I'm back there. Hey, guys. Ladies and gentlemen, please throw me something.

Hey, what are you doing? What are you doing for work? Now, you guys are great. You ready to keep the show going? You got to get when somebody's not doing good. You guys seem ready now So where are you from you look like a Start now We got a point. I've seen burl when we're at the laugh factory. Everyone's eating, everybody's eating, everybody, then burp pops in and every season comes like, good luck with this burl.

Where's the, he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Goes up there and instead of like just doing his bits, he just lights them up, man. Like what the fuck's wrong with you guys? And just fucking goes at them and then dude, standing applause. And then he's like, are you guys good? And then walks out like Jesus.

I did show them recently, but guy goes, yay, because I don't need your support. I don't want your support. I'm so free. Shout out, bottom of your support. I'm here in the center of peace. What else you got, Jim? Okay, so an eight year old boy has a puppy who had parvo. My hair is supporting my hair. I'm here in South to be. Yeah. What else you got, you know? Okay.

So an eight year old boy has a puppy who had parvo. It's a really bad disease for younger dogs and it could kill them. He went viral online because he basically sold his rare Pokemon cards to try to save his dog. He was trying to raise $700. Him and his mom set up a GoFundMe and when people saw him trying to sell his collectible cards, they actually raised up to $5,000 for him. him and his mom set up a go fund me and when people saw him trying to sell his collectible cards They actually raised up to five thousand dollars for him. So his puppy is great

But Pokemon found out about this and is sending him a bunch of new replacement cards So now these cards are going out for like hundreds of thousands of dollars like if you have Pokemon cards from like the 90s The early 2000s you can sell them for a bunch of money now So now on top of it, he's just like, he has a great investment. That's cool, yeah. Kids with dog, if you buy your kid a dog, that's it, and know that, and know that you're gonna spend all the money.

Keep it up to your life. You gotta get insurance for your dog because you're not gonna go home and say your kid, the guy. There's certain things that dog has, like if the dog's got cancer and it's gonna cost me $5,000, you gotta do it. But you gotta do it for the kid. Well, like if you, if the dog's got cancer and it's gonna cost me $5,000, you gotta do it. But you gotta do it for the kid.

Well, you gotta kid. It's so my buddy buys, you know, he buys two Italian mastiffs and they're like very expensive. Yeah, cane course, right? Yeah, cane course. So he gets these two amazing dogs. Now, now I, yeah, now I, I know my friend, my friend travels a lot.

Now also know that 250 pound dogs It's not the best thing to have in Los Angeles. Yeah, there's a lot of reasons I also know that he doesn't have a lot of patience and he's again travels a lot. So I say to him I go that's a bad idea because not I got it so he gets he gets the dogs and the dogs now he starts to realize Well, they're puppies and they shit everywhere and they pee everywhere and they're and he starts to do he goes well they're gonna get bigger and turn their lines so he goes like this he goes he goes uh this is the dumbest idea in the world you know it's up to training and training and training and I can't take the dogs I gotta I gotta I gotta get back I go sorry I get it you know he goes I you know you know you can get his money back Steph that was I that was

whoo dumb idea that's a dumb idea. It was a dumb idea, man. I don't know what I was thinking. It was a lot of crazy, but I travel six months to hear anyway, and it's impossible. Look, fuck a hundred and fifty pounds. I don't know what I was thinking. One of those things, we were like, and he goes, he walks in, he goes,

gotta get the dogs. Gotta get the dogs, guys coming to get the dogs. His sons, both his sons, like this with the dogs, they go, what? He goes, we gotta give them the dogs back. He goes like this, the kid just looks at me, goes like this, he this with the dogs, they go, what? They go, we gotta give them a dog's back. He goes like this, the kid just looks at me, goes like this, looks at the testers, he goes, that does not work for me.

Oh, my friend just goes, he goes, all right, fucking, he's got the dogs for life. Now, my kids love dogs, but their mom's a fucking hater, man. She just does it with dogs, yeah. It's because she didn't grow up with dogs, right? I feel like it's one of those things. She's a dog with me. You also got a trained, I got a Navy does like dogs. Yeah, it's because she didn't grow up with dogs, right? I feel like it's one of those things You got you also got a trained I got a maybe seal for dog. Yeah, what do you go? What kind of dog? Yeah? I had a Malinois for a while

I don't even know what they look what I don't even know it was a German Shepherd I want one of those I want like a badass The promise yeah, the promise they've got to bite somebody. The problem is you do something for my son. I can't have this. And they always look at, like I wanted to get one just to protect the house and like people, like, people were like, your family members are going to come over and the thing's going to be staring at them. Like if it's not like a media, they just like, you're so on alert that they're like, they're like, they're only, they're only command the hat we're in German.

It was so intense. That's, that's, that's a, and they've come over at the learn German. I German. I don't want to do all this man. And also when your kids are rough housing, your friend, the kids friend, kids don't know and there's dogs like you're attacked. There's like snaps and stuff.

And I don't want to buy a dog and then have to learn another line. Yeah, it was exhausting. My buddy's a fucking, my buddy's a SWAT team. He's a SWAT team sergeant. He's got his dog that takes down dude. He's got about 100 bites on the street. You know, he knows the taste of human flesh. The dog is like, my dog's a SWAT team sergeant. He's got his dog that takes down dudes got about 100 bites on the street You know, he knows the taste of human flesh the dog is like my dogs a light switch. He's a very friendly

He's a light switch though. I can you know, he's very tired So his friend comes over and the dog the dog is sitting there like this and the dog goes Err and my friend goes to the fuck and he goes and this is what my friend does He goes are you afraid of dogs and he goes, he goes, and this is what my friend does. He goes, are you afraid of dogs? And he goes, well, that one. It was, look, don't, because he can tell when you're afraid, just act normal. Oh, yeah. I don't want a dog to fucking act normal.

Not so bad. Malamaz, they're like, make sure you're running them a few miles a day. Like, he was like, you have to, don't ask. Oh, because you have to like, I am. No, I became a coach. It's a working dog.

So that's a certain type of German shepherd? It's in the same family. It's okay. It's a, any dog that's, it's a, it's a, it's a working dog. So that's a certain type of German shepherd? It's in the same family. Okay. So any dog that's... It's a really the military. And those are the dogs that the Navy SEAL uses. And the police use the... They need a job.

They're super athletic. They call them sharp dogs. They need a job. So they buy it quickly. Yeah, they want to work. So they're about to work eight miles a day within Jemhanna. That's why I hate seeing.

I saw this. I saw somebody with like a Siberian Husky in Manhattan and I'm going, do I think needs cold that wants to work, it wants to pull, like it shouldn't be in the city. Yeah, no, it's exhausting. What else you got, Jen? So the French president went outside to greet people

and he got slapped in the face by a protester. Just because they don't like him. I love to do this to Newsom. Bosses. What's up, what's up? That's all the way he's slapped. And he was like, that is like, Just because they don't like them. I love do this to news some Well the way he's slapped and he was like that is like It was a very French slap. Oh, okay I protest a little sugar in their tank Dear you yeah, but also how's the C.A. I know

You went like that? In some countries, yeah, yeah. So I think we should probably do this what there's a cream barbecue truck That's in Southern California. I think it's here in LA too. So truck Darius. Oh No, this is for like our team because I would feel like four people I think or even food truck Darius to I like that The guy that uh that made this invented this thing Sky on though Side on but the guy invented it. He was actually the winner of the food truck race whatever on none of those shows yeah anyway

you didn't see the the food truck the great food truckers but you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being

you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you're being you Idol. What the fucking food truck? You're like, is it a sky on there? Yeah, I never heard that. No, I hit you. All right, what we get at the end of it. You know what I hit? It's coming at all.

My dog got this. It's on me. What was his dad say? This is fucking a grown man in a sky on. It's a sign on. Sign on. Do you guys know how the food truck think? No, I don't.

No. But check it out. Oh, for food truck, guys? I don't know. Well, for what, that? Ha, ha, ha don't. No. But check it out. Oh, for food, drunk, guys? Well, for one debt. See, right now for 500 bucks, we can bring it here. You can park it all. Yeah, that's all it leads.

You know, you know, Korean barricades and just a little bit of legit. It's definitely decent. Well, decent is different than that. Yeah, decent right there. You can even get shoved on towards it. He's a white knocking, so I love that word. Decent. Yeah, it's it's raw meat.

It's raw meat that you cook in front of your teeth, so that's awesome. I'll be done for that. All right, cool. 500 bucks, I mean, that's not better at all. Especially if you don't have to wait three hours, like we did last time. Yeah, that, and now you know what it is? Like ask me, ask me how my career,

ask me if I'm working and doing any film. You work in everything. Now you know I'm working and doing any film. You're working on everything. Now you know what it is, like right now. I know. I know. Nothing's going on. Sometimes no words. You just go, yeah, how does it go?

Yeah. No, no, no. How do you do it? How do you do it? Yeah, yeah. You making money? You know what it is, man? Right now.

And you know, too, like in our business, you have those friends who are your friends, but they want to get off the phone. They want to get off the phone first to like a you know, you'll be like All right, man. Well listen. I got I got I got this meeting and it's like to we're We have the same front. Yes, we're talking. I yeah, we're gonna. I'm on a high-quit tigers. I'll call you back We pulled up the barns and hope when we get out of my tigers dad Did you did you lie to you for a while? I know, yeah, he goes, why you? Cause I didn't want to talk to him anymore.

Cause the conversation was going nowhere. Of course I didn't know that. So I just told him that so we could get out the phone. Why don't you just tell him what Barnes and no, but I don't know, at least that's the question. It's the height's in easier. And I know that he just, so you lie to him, I lied to him.

You should be lying to your friend. But I know it's a lie. Cause I'm like, I lie. I know it's how we're both like, I and I know that. So you lied to him. I lied to him. You shouldn't be lying to your friends. But I know it's a lie. Because I'm like, I lie. I know it's how we're both like that. I was in a corner. Anyway, yeah, we can talk about how things suck or things are good, but it doesn't. Oh, who cares anyway, see you later.

I lie about how far I am when I'm going. Oh, you do that guy. Yeah, like, do one time. But I was like, you hear, yeah, I go, dude, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, 20 minutes, I was in a, I was in a diner, eat it. I was in a diner in Queens. And in my mind, I'm going, I'm I'm like 20 minutes, I was in a diner eating. I was in a diner in Queens. And in my mind, I'm going, I'm going to just hop on,

like you think there's going to be no practical interruption? No interruption. So everything's perfect to get there, and you just lie, and then he's like, you're not even allowed. It was bullshit. There was a thing, a whole ice ton that I'd be late, I was chronically late. The water made me break on the fire.

But then I would take the same route to get here and I'd be dead serious lying to his face I water break. I'm stuck in the and I'm pissed. I'm stuck. I've been waiting So now I'm outraged at the water main break that never happened you do that stuff. I got enough fucking There's got to be I got an accident you did I got my cars all messed up and that I just holds up What I did last one last one? All right, let me pick this one then is this no not that This we were tagging this look a bunch just covered in just look at his dog. Oh damn God

Oh Oh damn God Oh shit First I was the dirt. I know you I was like you showed us that is that a male or female There you go, it's basically touching the ground On that yeah, it's a big as It's sneaky to suck on that. Yeah, that's a big ass dick. That is a big dick. That's a big dick. That's the way to close it out.

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Like a butter the red was sauteed cabbage like butter and the and the shrimp and the crab cakes No, and it's right near where you're at hell you know the neighborhood I'll be a Paul's favorite club Albany June 18 and then Funny bones. How many do you describe it June 18 the 19th and then yeah, you said if they if they hear this They'd ever go back to your First Personally personally I'm looking forward to going to the capital of New York State. And then I got to fill it out for you.

PA Healian Comedy Club June 25th, 26th, 27th, get your tickets. That's it. I'll be in the party. I'll be in fucking Bagoobies in July and then, great in August. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, before.

Yeah, so this weekend, this Friday, Saturday, I'll be doing the Vulcan Gas Company Austin Tech. Great stuff, great stuff. On Friday, one show Saturday. I'm seeing Austin. Salt Lake City. I will be, well, actually, that might be moving. That might be moving.

Yeah, but that might be moving. That's at the end of the month. I will be doing my first theater gig, guys, in October, October 22nd at the Wilbur Tickets Ron Sale for that. I'm shooting my special in September. All dates are going to be updated on PaulVersi.com. Check out the Verzi Effect podcast, me and Bill Verzi Podcast, anything better. Check out my new YouTube channel and I appreciate having me, man. Yeah, I love it.

I appreciate it. You guys, you guys, great. This is a good of layers for me. For now, it's your name. Verzi. Paul Verzi. Verzi. I can't wait to meet you, guys.

Yeah. I can't wait to meet you guys. I can't wait to meet you guys. I can't wait to meet you guys. I can't wait to meet your dad's Yeah, I'm a great man. No, but I like you guys I gotta get out of here I know you Oh, it's that over there I like you I'm going out with just producers over here Oh, fuck yeah GrubHub is here y'all and what they want to know is they serve restaurants GrubHub loves restaurants from the food to the passion and determination of people behind them.

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