The Fighter & The Kid - Ep 728: Shane Gillis

Episode Date: September 16, 2021

Shane Gillis joins the crew and the guys talk Shane's departure from SNL and getting "canceled", going on Joe Rogan's podcast, dipping nicotine pouches, Shane's football background, gaming, Last Chance U and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, TfK Army, Thickeys, what's happening? We got a great show for you today with Shane Gillis all the way from New York You know he's born in Philly the hometown hitter Shane Gillis is on the show with a great special on YouTube available right now live in Austin with Shane Gillis go check it out to one of the best specials of the year. He's a monster. He's on the show. Few housekeeping notes for you guys next week Friday and Saturday, September 24th, 25th. I'm in San Antonio at the Bud Light event center. All right. San Antonio, Texas, one show Friday, one show Saturday. I got some killers with me. I got David Lucas, Derek Poston, Chappelle Backflip Lacey and myself. We will be there on Friday, this 24th one show on Saturday September 25th one show get your tickets tickets are almost sold out get tickets at fatkz.com other than that uh

Denver Colorado comedy works downtown September 30th through October 2nd get your tickets fatkz.com this episode of firing the kid with chain gillis is brought to you by the best supplements on the goddamn planet I'm talking about on it supplements Whatever your goal is in fitness. You're gonna need some supplements. We can't trust all supplements You get if you want you can be thick but be healthy thick and in order to get there You need to trust your supplements. That's why I mess with on it for years and years and years I've spewed to you guys on it supplements on on it this, on it that's because of the best. Proof is in the supplements. You need protein powder, creatine, glutamine, shroom tech, total gut health,

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No, no one cares. Cause yeah, I don't spit, but they'll be like, sir, no, I'm like, no, it's not like that. Oh, poor pilots. So now you do, well, how, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no, no, I'm like, no, I'm like, no's like a guy's guy. I was thinking, I really don't know. My boy in light catharwood, I'm not even trying to flag something right now. There's no flex about doing most of the same stuff. There is.

We're like a fat. We're like a fat. Yeah, yeah. We're in a fat house. Yeah. But in my catharwood, he gets them from Sweden and they're 40 milligrams. Oh no.

Well, it's, this is, I took one that, I literally threw up everywhere. Is Mike doing 40 milligrams? He's a nut. He's a nut. But Mike, you do three patches. I do three six milligram patches. At the time I go through a can of day.

So your blood pressure is always super high. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I live my life one quarter mile a time, like in diesel. And then 16, about 16 shots for real of a espresso. Yeah.

So six does nothing for a shot of espresso. And then he he and then he lift a lot of weight to really boost the pressure where he holds his breath. I do party or two. Yeah, I'm not saying you don't but why is it? I'm part of the park. Yeah.

That's great. Because cocaine is too scary. It's cocaine is too scary. Yeah, do coke. Yeah. That's part of the next step. My man wants to know how long Is cocaine is too scary is cocaine is too scary. Yeah do coke. Yeah. That's part of the next step my man No, how long have you been doing nicotine? Since I was like 13. Oh shit I mean, but you were used like dipping dip in like the fiberglass it in shit. Yeah, why don't like that? Why did you stop dipping? I did this morning

It's the first day in the morning so So I might be like 5'30. First day I'd make the strongest coffee you've ever and you're up at 5'30. Yeah, I've got kids. You sleep? Yeah, oh yeah, I go to bed by 9 usually. Unless I'm on the road. How do you sleep?

With 16 shots. I didn't phase me. His adrenals are flat as pancakes. Yeah. He's got like little, they've atrophied. But there's nothing better than you. I'm sorry, Kaya. You're making up a little more. You're crazy.

Me crazy. You must be wild. Crazy cool dude. What? I'm trying to get you on the road train though, because I started with the same one you did. Yeah. If you're looking for flavor, you're looking for flavor daddy. This is mint dude.

I'm telling you as far as flavor crush it. I feel like psychologically you're doing for flavor, you're looking for flavor daddy. This is mint. Dude, this until as far as flavor crush it. I feel like psychologically you're doing a couple things. I feel like psychologically like he went and said, do you think I have CTA football for 17 years, fighting for eight? And the doctor goes, 100%. You have 100% CTA. It's what I do. He goes, basically take a lot of fish oil on.

And that's all we know. He's like, cool. So then, but I think nicotine's good for your brain. Yes, that's why I started it. Nicotine's good for your brain. I feel like they found with like smokers, like our grand pin shit, they were dying from smoking. They found out, numbing had dementia or like brain issues.

Because they all died. They did die, but they were older. But they were older, they were older. Yeah. So we'll see, that's what I tell myself. We gotta get you on the road trade, though. I'll do it, yeah. I'm not tied to Zen. Yeah, so we'll see. That's what I tell myself. We gotta get you on the road trade now. I'll do it. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not tied to Zen. Yeah. Yeah. How many times a day do you do that? Uh, I don't know, all day. Did you have stroke cigarettes? I did when I tried to quit dip. But no, I was never like a smoker. You were a whiskey guy?

No, I don't like whiskey that much. You beer. Just like beer. Yeah. You're like a, all American yeah. You were a whiskey guy? No, I don't like whiskey that much. You just like beer. Yeah. You're like a... All American beer. He's an American. He's all American.

Dude, dude, dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude. He touches a game in the other place to watch him gain, grab a barrel like four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a good one. Yeah, he goes look good. Oh, that's your squad, do you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think Jalen hurts the answer? I was not sold on him, but he looked good. He's a baller, maybe. He looked good. Better than fucking wins. Yeah, I loved wins. Poor me too. I was not sold on him, but he looked good. He's a baller, maybe. He looked good. Better than fucking when. Yeah, I loved when. Poor me too, I was a fan.

He's gonna do well. He's gonna be good. I think he's good. You think? He's heard again though. He's all right. He heard his foot in camp and they thought he was gonna be out for like six weeks.

So you know when's like, when the Egos won the Super Ball, when's was like, he's gonna be MVP. Got hurt, Nick Folls comes in. Wends him the super ball went to his like having to be MVP got hurt nick false comes in when's him the super ball and it was like what do we do now and he comes back then he gets hurt yeah and then he's he just has it so it just hasn't worked out he just never got it back but he's fucking good good he's a great option for if you're first if you're first stringing his heart right when he's a star when's the start of Once it started, but when false comes in, and does that mean that they keep

when's as a backup or the pain was hurt? Okay, he was hurt. And that's what the eagles, is they paid them. Yeah, way too much money. Like I got them on his way. Yeah, they trade them to the cults. Yeah, right? Yeah, trade.

Yeah, I feel like a draft pick. Yeah, they're like, oh, sorry. But they're gonna have like three first round draft picks next year. The Eagles, they look alright. Do you play football? I did. Where? I went to the United States Military Academy for three weeks.

And realized it was them for you? Yeah, I realized. I mean, working out, you got nice legs. He just, I just heard my mom call me. Peloton. I got the Peloton. I love Peloton. I got the Peloton.

So you went to the out of high school, you went to the army. Yeah, for football. Oh, for real. Yeah, good army. Yeah, the really good football. And I quit. And then I went to Elon.

It's one AA in North Carolina. And you played ball then. I played one year. Well, position Well position then quit I played off in the gut. Oh, yeah, you're big. Yeah, I was big like what was like 300 You used to be strong and then went and then just a Hey, boy How you're fucking artistic now I'm an artist. Yeah, you're not as artistic as you know, he has a fucking journal

Everyday a do on the road can keep it down running my journal like No way, you imagine what he's writing. He's probably like grown up pictures Pictures of like I think Say that I'm just honest with myself. Yeah, he journal stick figures He was making for my bag. I got to give it to the bag. Which bag he's right? You're right? Yeah He's like all by for me. Dude. I got we got We're gonna get Starbucks first thing you say well Get rid of it

You what are you carrying in there a Jirot yeah, you bring it into star you brought a journal at least carrying it a mask or something You brought a journal and these carry a mask or something I don't know if you remember this we're like what's in your fanny pack? He's like well let's take a look knife Shrope gone like Firestarter I'm gonna start a podcast. Is he the special forces guy? Yeah, but what's that?

Cause he's got to keep America safe. You keep doing what you do and he'll do what he does. He's stressing me out. He's fighting at the board right now. I go, I go, I go, is it bad? Don't you say? Oh, terrible. Yeah, it's nothing fancy for a relatively skinny.

I have heard. Oh, really? So you played football at Army. Yeah, I played one year of football. Then what did you want? Then what did you want? And then I one year than what do you want then when did you quit and then I quit and they quit then when did Comedy come to like right after I quit. Yeah, yeah, well, it's because I sucked I had to be funny. Yeah, you got to be funny You're mostly offensive lines usually funny. Yeah, yeah, and then when you're the worst offensive lineman You got to be extra tall. I had so then you do then when did stand-up start?

You start doing like two years later. Yeah. Yeah. A little later start, right? Yeah. I mean, I did say that but I was like 22, 23 when I started. Shane, tell us about your special. He's like, I'm so done with podcasting. Yeah. I'm doing a little bit. Yeah. You've done the little game. It's brutal. It is. But that's all right. But with your special, I'll say it's your special. We with your, I'll say this, you're special. We don't, I mean, we've highlighted, I even talked about on my Instagram today. Krista Stefano, Krista, good buddy of mine.

He text me, he goes, dude, Shane Gillis Special. Watch it. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's nice. Krista's a man. It was great. When it first started, you got to be in like, comedy mood, like my kids were like running around.

They went outside, I'm like, okay, let me just fucking check this out, because I'm a fan of you. Thanks. And then it starts started like right yeah, you got to be like Tommy mood like my kids were like running around there I'm like great. Let me just fucking check this out because I'm a fan of you Thanks, and then it starts and I was like, all right good and then we get to the Trump stuff I'll stick the whole girl. Oh, yeah, yeah, I was like, bro Trump's funny He's funny Do you see him at the Vanderholy field stuff? I didn't even get to see it What do you do? He's like, I'm not even trying, you're the guy who does the best impression of him,

but he goes, I'm a, he's like, I've been friends with these guys for years, for years, he goes, I love these guys. Like Anderson Silver, I love him. And everyone's like, all right. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, and he's trying to break it down. He's trying to,

cause you know he came from the 9-11 shit and then just he lined in a private jet down to Florida. He's a monster, right? He's done all the Adderall where the fuck he is. Callin' a fight on 9-11 is the president. No. So why didn't you do anything sad fight? Why didn't you do any true?

He didn't even, he didn't even speak. You could make an argument Trump did the most American thing. Correct. A fight. And then a commentator fight. Promote and make money. Well, he also said, he goes, I would like to fight Joe Biden, I think.

Oh, yeah, he's still there. Peter Buckley was fucking hilarious. Peter Buckley was a little bit around. Yeah. And CNN's like, is there nothing with sacred now? He's like, he's joking around already. Yeah, they don't see what it does to understand they're making him more funny.

Correct. Yeah. Whenever they're doing this. Can you believe he said this? It's like, yeah, it doesn't understand they're making him more funny. Correct. Yeah. Whenever they're all in mess. Can you believe he said this? It's like, yeah, it's funny. You're making it funny. And what Sian does is, obviously, they have, I mean, their ratings are fucking terrible. But what they do is when they go after Trump are now, you know, Trump kind of pop back

up, but now they're going after Rogan. It's like, you realize when you do that, it brings more fans to them. Because people might hate them, but they really hate you. Jordan Peterson said that. Jordan Peterson on Rogan said, I hate to say this out loud, but I've made so much money off of social justice warriors. Because every time they protest

one of his speeches, I back in support. Well, his Patreon goes on. Yeah, so he just makes so much money. It's like every time you guys hate him, I mean, I make more money. It's the same with haters on YouTube or whatever. It's like, you guys realize when you leave comments, I make money, correct?

Like that's how this game works. Crazy. Well, you guys dislike it or leave in comments. It puts money in my pocket. Yes. So keep it up. Yeah. It's like, I don't know.

It's just good promotion. How I thought it was Balsey to release it on YouTube. Let's take a little break from chatting with my main man, Shane Gillis, because guess what, man? It's 2021 and mental health is finally a thing. So many people are struggling right now and aren't feeling like they're normal selves

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promo code fighter. All right, crowd health is not health insurance. It's a committee powered alternative Terms conditions may apply How I thought it was ballsy to release it on YouTube because it used to be this thing right if you release a special on YouTube It's like you should pass on the guy had to Fuck the YouTube, but now I think with Mark Norman here his special is like the third most watch special of the year. Yeah. Like his blew up. And so I think more like legit comics like yourself, like, you know, Norman, those guys like more people do that. And then I think it's going to take a big dog like Rogue and somebody's also going to do it because if

you want the most eyeballs, you want to sell the most tickets. It's YouTube man. I mean, great. It's free. It's right there. It's on your phone. Yeah. YouTube was there. Well, I I didn't have a choice. Nobody nobody was buying my special. You know what, though, but I don't it's not because you know I was happy with it's not because you're not a talented comic. Yeah. The subject you talked about I even take drugs. I'm like, dude, there's no way Netflix would find okay this like the stuff you talk to which is hilarious. There's like there's you got dicey. Yeah. I mean, you still see blowback from that other bullshit. Sure.

Yeah, yeah, it's like only in like the industry. Only in Hollywood. Yeah, like only if like trying to sell like the sketch show or a show we made, people will be like, they bring the jeopardy host had to step down because he literally yeah, 10 years ago on a podcast called a girl a booth hoe. Yeah, booth slut. Oh, well, he was saying, oh, a girl a booth hoe, a booth slut.

Well, he was saying, oh, you were a booth hoe. Like, he was just saying, when you're at a convention center and you're in the booth, and he just kind of said that. And then, I guess he fat-shamed, or he said something problematic about someone. And he was a monster. People loved him. He was a necessary coloner host.

You say, booth hoe, right? Yeah, everyone fucked him. 10 years ago, he had to step down from as an executive producer and a host. Like, and you up, the mistake he made was a polygrapher. My boy Michael Davis running now, that was sensual,

but, uh, jeopardy. Yeah. But, he was about to take a lot of your 50. Thank you. He's the talk. Here we go, young audience.

But for you with the blowback, at some point you just gotta say, fuck Hollywood. Your sketch show, where would you say, who do you want to sell it to? You know what I'm saying? You're in a different lane. Yeah, we can just keep making stuff. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

And you just sell your tickets on the road and make a lot of money. And the sketch shows all in house, it's all like a lucky thing. Yeah, it's just our just our you're a team everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those are all guys from Philly Yeah, fuck your friends just buddies. Hey, no, it's fun. It's so much fun. It's very fun It's a lot of work though isn't it coming up the funny? Well, I don't make either the guy John McEver writes right He's the writer. He's the writer director the girls John McKeever writes right. He's the writer. He's the writer director. The girl's brilliant. She's so funny. Yeah, that's six is girlfriend. Oh, it is. Yeah.

Is she a comic? No. She's just a comic, not an actor, not that. She's of my comedians girlfriend. Oh fuck. Get her in here. She's a little bit of a sketch with Trump. No. Maybe maybe she should MC when Brian Six is featuring. Yeah. Well, should MC when Brian Six is featuring him. Yeah, well I don't know how she'd do. Yeah, I might have to use skillset. Why, I didn't see that, I didn't see that. So he does this Trump speed dating thing.

She sits down. She's off. Oh, that's why I was like, oh damn, she's lit. That's when I was like, oh damn this girl's lit. She's legit actress. Yeah. I was like, she go for Saturday night live after this. It's kind of, I don't want to shit on Kyla

because I love Kyla, but that's like who she is, kind of. Oh, interesting. So like when she sat down, some of those lines, she was actually fucking up. And we were like, no, this is good. They were like, yeah, it looks real. Happy actually. Yeah, it was great.

Fucking amazing. You gotta watch the speed date. Yeah, she's great, right? Oh, I'm very, very fine. She's so funny. Yeah, she's like pro-tron. very very funny. Yeah, she's like pro Trump Everything we put her in she's really fucking To me she's just special for sure like when I watch it like all you guys are brilliant

But she's like the special just a crazy lady. Yeah, she's the crazy lady. Yeah Yeah, man, let's do brother. Why you grabbing me? How do you guys know each other? We met cluster fast cluster fast and JFL we were on the like up next Let's do it, brother. Why are you grabbing me? How do you guys know each other? We met clusterfests. Clusterfests. JFL, I think. And JFL, we were on the up next comedy centrals clusterfests and then new faces.

New faces. JFL. Two or three. Two or three. I think three. Yeah. JFL didn't do it this year because of COVID, right? Something like that.

No, they did something. I should say it's two. Because it was the one before. It was 2019. Yeah, yeah. In, not Vancouver, right? No, not Montreal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was just kidding. No, we did the Montreal, but yeah, yeah, I don't know. We just became homies because I heard a lot about him before everyone, I don't know, when I had posted I was doing the cluster fast. People were like, yo, you got to meet Shane Gillis. Like, you guys would be boys or whatever. And we are just,

House. That's, that's, that's hard to figure out. Like to house. Yeah, I heard about you, because I've seen shultsies, my boy Tim Dylan, Chrissy D, and then I was like, God, there's all these monsters out there, man. You guys just need to fucking start doing stuff

like the late guys. Everyone's doing stuff and everyone late guys. I know. Everyone's doing stuff and everyone just leapfrogged us. Yeah. Like your one's blown up and then all of them like, dude, you see Shane Gillis. I'm like, really? That's nice. That's when I looked you up.

Thanks man. There is a whole New York thing now that you guys are all rough at the same age. All coming up together. Yeah. That's pretty well. But all like take it. About time. Take it over.

Yeah. Take it over. Yeah. Take it over. Yeah. think about sholts. Sholts, you know, probably a mass-gray garden next year. Like, sholts sells great. You know what I mean, take it to your sales? Crazy. It's fucking nuts. Well, you have sholts in and Tim Dylan. I mean, biggest Patreon there is.

And then he sells stupid tickets. We have the same agent. You find out his ticket sales that hurt your feelings. And then, you know, they got Chrissy D, doing his goddamn thing, pulling up. And then, you know, you're the guy, man. Yeah, you're this, because you're doing, you're about to do your first weekend since you did your special.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was Nate Bargazze with you guys in New York? He was older. He was older. He was older. Yeah, it's pretty wild, man, to watch. This is like harnessing social media and the way you guys are coming together.

Plus New York holds you to a high standard. I mean, New York is just like, you can take a cab and hang out at that club and then do like five sets in a night. Yeah. And there's something about New York where if you get too happy with yourself or it becomes too commercial or whatever,

you get called on the mat. So I don't know if it's still that way. But there is still that sort of, there's a purity there, there's a standard there. And you're kind of in the way. Like it's pride being like, like, like, like, like, comic, yeah. I get that, but then if you noodle every night,

you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's, I think that's the whole, yeah. That was like the hold up with like the LA guys doing all the promo and podcasts and merch on that. And then the New York guys were like, fuck that. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, it's always been that way. That was never easy. Yeah, it's like, fuck that. Yeah. Yeah, but you kind of want to hold on to some of that. Like I always feel like, is New York that reason? Well, it's not just great. It's like you at the end of the day when you're sitting around that table at the comedy seller or wherever you go Yeah, you know, you got Colin Quinn you got Louis CK you got all the old dudes who've been doing it forever

And and a lot of guys you haven't heard of that are murderers like Greer Barnes the fucking murderer and all those guys So what happens is like they'll kind of let you know Oh, they'll let you know, you know what I mean they'll let you know if you start getting I don't know Big fear bridges. Yeah, and also just a little too It's almost like a like like so so you'll see some people who can write a really good song and there are tricks and hooks and rhymes to it and it's real commercial Then you see somebody's doing something different with music, you know, and that's, you're always expected to keep it that way, I guess. But I think there's something to it because,

like, because you can be a grinder, you can be that comical comic, and then still also update with the times, because then you get a guy like Kevin Hart, right? Andrew Schultz. You know what I'm saying? He needs, like, you need both.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah, you're absolutely. Otherwise you are, that's exactly right. That was always just me playing, you know, yeah, you're short. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you need both. Yeah, you have to. Yeah, you absolutely. Otherwise, you are. That's exactly right. That's why I was just being playing, you know, yeah, you're gonna crush it at the, you know, the seller or the store, but not pay around. Yeah, you know, yeah, 100%. You get respect from everybody, but it's like,

I think the one thing that I've always struggled with as you know, is just the fact that a huge part of your job is figuring out how to promote, how to be relevant, how to stay. Yeah, and I have trouble with that. Yeah, I have trouble with that. I hate it. I do too.

And you gotta do it. You have to do it. It's exhaust fucking, it's the same. But I feel like you do pretty good. I try not to do it, which is the worst. But it's like authentic to you. It's like, it's Shane. That's the way Shane would promote.

Yeah, it's, cause now it's like YouTube special. So I have to promote it. If I put you on a spot, how's Shane now it's like YouTube special. So I have to. If I put you on a spot, how's like Shane? Tell us about your special. You got to I'm going to give you 20 seconds from my special. Ready go. There's no. I know. Like a new station. Like imagine. Have you one last time did like real I mean, I'll see. Go like real press. Dude, I do. I'm doing it like dude. Some of them ask me to say questions to, right? You ever had that when they go,

give us some lead in questions that you can do some bits. Nightmare, I'm like, I can't do it. I'm not doing a bit, I can't do it. Give us a joke here. Give people a little taste when you're gonna see it and I'm like, what? Yeah, my sister does heroin.

Yeah. Yeah. It's so awkward. I'd stop doing it, yeah, the no more. So you got a tell, Bren, what's so often I stopped doing it. Yeah, the no more Chris right so you you got a tails, Bren What's tougher get inside that octagon or get on stage showing jokes go? Oh Actually, what's this? It's all good It's gotta be the octagon. It's gonna be the scariest thing in the fucking world. They're both scary man Yeah, I'm not gonna work it

Dude it's brutal You know, I'm not the guy that's the worst dude. It's brutal. You know, I watched them from the funny scene. The one thing about him is I remember, I never, I felt bad. I did it. We were in Seattle and I was like 1800 people in a theater and we were doing a,

we were doing, I don't know what it was. We were doing a live podcast by our kid and Brennan had zero experience in front of people, like zero. And but he was like, let's do live podcast. So, so I, I remember in front of people like zero and but he was like let's do live podcast So so I I remember I kind of was like you're gonna go out I'm gonna be I'm gonna pretend to be late. You're gonna go out and tell a story Mm-hmm

And you're gonna be alone on stage and I kind of just pushed him out there Yeah, and he was like and and he did like you did a couple breathing exercises I think you learn from Navy Seals Yeah, you like have been a potential. And then you just go out there and did really well. And then I remember I was like, I shouldn't have done that to you. I shouldn't have, that's a fucking big thing

because if you've never done that, that's a terrible thing. So he did great. And then later on we were talking, and you were like, I've been getting out there in my underwear against monsters and they lock a cage And you gotta come out and you could die And I think once you face that it's it's you know, I don't know. It's just different. I got you ready

That's what you get you ready especially like jumping into the deep and get you ready Everyone's a girl you skipped open mics. Are you talking about with other disgruntled comics? That I was doing 1400 people fucking sold out shows. You're a beast man. Super beast. You're fucking crazy. Yeah. It's, I always said that. It's, it, you can't say that it was very different for you. First of all, you've been podcasting for a while. Just a different time.

Did you, uh, what you just came up, you come up in the Philly scene and then go to New York? Yeah. Yeah. So it was, yeah. Philly's not so, it's right. So I didn didn't do I didn't do the mics in New York ever so that was that was kind of That was an interesting way to do it Most people you moved to New York and you have to work your way up I was already like a soda and J We're already taking me on the road and using me and I waited a long time Oh, man big J. I waited a long time before I moved.

I moved when I moved to New York like two years ago, three years ago. But before that you were in Philly for like six years. And then your home club there was what the helium. Helium, yeah. It's great. I love that fucking club. One of my favorite clubs is fucking amazing.

One of my favorite clubs. So you were just going around there and then you were going, where'd you meet Big J and Danny? When they were at healing. I featured for him. Oh damn. for oh damn yeah I like so to talk me on the road and then J took me on the road so it was a Denver boy man yeah my guys they already knew about you in failure the club booked you was like the club booked me got it now now I don't know if you know this but I'm gonna do Denver coming up here and you got to be vaccinated or show your proof of a negative COVID test.

That's the first time I've seen it. No, I'm saying the crowd does. Well, I know. I didn't know that. You'll probably see at a... That's the first time I've seen this. I've dealt with it. I had to deal with it previously. You'll, and it's just what it is, you see about a five to ten percent drop off on to your sales. Okay. Yeah, because people... But Denver is like 85, 90 percent vaccine, so Denver shouldn't be in the really when you go other place, could you get dicey?

But then you got to show basically proof on your phone, I guess, right? I don't know how they're doing. There's like no like system like they haven't I saw that yesterday. I was like, yeah, I don't know. I guess I got to make a thing about it, but I don't know.

It's interesting. They have a first R code that you can scan and show your vaccine thing. I'm pretty sure on your QR code. Yeah, yeah, yeah code that you can scan and show your vaccine thing. I'm pretty sure. On your QR code. Yeah, yeah. Because in Denver, they take your phone. Like, have you, you know, in Denver,

how it works? Yeah, which is great. Yeah, I love such a nice thing. I love it because it focuses the audience. It's amazing. Yeah. Well, think when you're out, I mean, I'm not that addicted to my phone,

but people that don't have friends who are, it's like, you got a, I mean, Justin, David. Oh. You got to lunch on the road, they're like just on their phone like dude You can be you be doing stamp and I rack you're on the beach and San Diego do you have the When you have kids if you have a 13 year old daughter She's on her phone. She's tick tock Anime the whole world her friends. You're competing with everything. Yeah, I don't play that shit

Tiger gets his iPad, you know once a week. Yeah, and you're smart. Yeah, and you're smart Because that's what I was starting to do. Yeah, you know, it's like man Because it's a digital it's made to be it's made to be there. Yeah, it's made to get in your brain Yeah, you made to be addictive. It's like It's just like even though the moving, like you know how on Twitter how you do this, that move is for like slot machines. It's addictive.

Yes, yes. Like it's all, and then when you tell your kid, they can't play on it, they have some withdrawal symptoms. They act like a junkie. They'll be like, they get irritable and angry and you're just like, hey, hey, this is... I never felt older than the last night

with my son's first teacher parent conference. I dressed up like a fucking dad. A tacky son and shit. Nice. And I was sitting there, I was sitting in, like... You weren't dead. Yeah, I just started dressing like that. I was like, just wear that.

He likes fashion too much. Yeah. You guys all love that. You don't give a fuck Jim shorts, I like the Adidas slippers. Those are my favorite. Thanks. They look comfortable as fuck Thanks bro. No, no, you look like the quality control offense coordinator for the Notre Dame You know, like you have the pace on the caravan. Yeah, you're a Notre Dame fan offense coordinator for the Notre Dame. That's what I'm going on. You know, you have the pay. That's all I care about.

Yeah. You're a Notre Dame fan from Philly. Love Notre Dame. Why? My grandpa and cousin played. Fear point. Yeah, there you go. Yeah.

That's a connection. Yeah. My grandpa was C.T. Bad? Bad. See, I didn't know. I just told this. It's, uh, he, every story I ever heard of my grandpa was him, like, fighting people. All he did was attack people. And then, like, every story I ever heard of my grandpa was him fighting people.

All he did was attack people. And then every story, he'd be punching cars. He was an animal. And he was like six, five, he was huge. And when he died, he had a heart attack. And then he woke up on the operating table out of the anesthesia and tried to fight the nurses. It's hard to explain.

He's like, well, go and take your mother fuckers out. And then, so nobody in my family ever put it together and then they showed me this newspaper clipping from like the 20s when he was playing that he was held out of against Purdue. He couldn't play because of a head injury. And if you have a head injury in the 20s. That would have an earl through your fucking head. You're like, practice. Well, when you have a brain, my friend had a traumatic brain injury

fell out of a van and hit the back of his head. And they had to strap him down. When I went to see him in the hospital, he was strapped to the gurney. And I was like, why is he strapped to the gurney? They go, well, when he comes to, he'll come too periodically when he wakes up. He tries to fight us.

Because he bruised the front of his brain. Oh, no. And so it's... Well, there's two things that happen when it can cost. Like it is what it is. I don't know, I'm sure maybe it's generic or something, but when it can cost either you get really aggressive and you want to fight like your grandpa's friend

of killing everybody or you get really emotional. I cry. Yeah, I cry. It has been knocked out. Yeah, I cry. The only crazy injuries? No, I tore my MCL and LCL. Did you get many concussions playing football?

I played the O line, so it was like. They say that's the worst. Yeah, it's just slow and gradual. Yeah. But it was never like your bell rang. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How old are you? I'm 33.

So similar, but growing up, like playing pop on her. Yeah. When you get to like, oh, you got his bell rang, like get back in there. Yeah. Like now you think about like, hey dumbass. Yeah, when you get to like you got his bell run like get back in there Yeah, you think about like hey dumbass. Yeah, bell rung means I shouldn't be practicing Yeah, there would you get your bell wrong because your big in college was tough playing playing fullback dude That must my friend played fullback here to see it like seven concussions in like one season. Did you ever have just non-stop? Yeah, you did oh and football. Yeah, and you knew I was Fullback for big 12 X crazy big 12. That's the that's the

Just middle linebackers of fullbacks over and over so I was fullback in the big 12 And then I was the wedge breaker on special. Oh my god, and I was the wedge They're like this white guy just get his big ass on the hook And and what they used to do and he used to spar and he used to fight, like, in the near-eastern. Then what they used to do during film, that's all there. Terrible, dude.

I'm not so much supplement. Anyways, what they used to do and film on Mondays after the game, that have like, a whole, like, really laughed, because get like my bell rang or I'd light some guy up. And it's like, do my, I gotta head it. I'm like, yeah, this is great, man. I'm like, yeah, no, no.

What does this wedge breaker mean again? So I explain it one. It's on a kickoff. They got rid of this. They got rid of it. They don't even have it in football. I'm so dangerous. It was the most dangerous.

It's how dangerous it is. They don't have it in their rules. They don't have it in their game. Yeah, we'll bring up the points. Yeah, so hold on, so let's say the start of the game, there's a team that the kickoff team kicks the ball. Yep. So there's the return man. You're from the return man is a wedge of human beings

that go like try to block so he can score a touchdown. Okay, but then there's a guy who's a McCommercawsy guy that runs to break that wedge so those guys can't block that guy. His job is literally to dive straight into that wall and it's sprinting 50 yards into each other. I mean, it's, yeah, they got rid of it. And you're the video of this?

I mean, I'm sure. I mean, I don't know how the fuck you're, I mean, you're trying to hit with your arms. I feel like you were fun. You feel good. You're trying to hit with your arms and your shoulders first, right? No fuck.

No, you don't. No, I can't think of anything worse. I just not bill for this. It was my thing, you know what's your can't think of anything worse. I just not bill for this. It was my thing. You know what's your thing? Yeah. So it was like your thing. Yeah.

So when we're playing like text as a big 12 championship, we're like, oh, I'm gonna like this fucking dude up. Cheers. Because there was another guy who was gonna meet a halfway. Yeah, they have a crazy guy too. Of course they have. I mean, that's the crazy guy. It's the crazy guy.

You know, it was like Ronnie Lot. I was watching this thing on Ronnie Lot. Ronnie Lot would knock himself out. Ronnie Lot would fucking interview you and go out like he would just throw him away. So if you, if you, you two wedge breaker, you'll see these, they're literally like the Japanese pilot just fucking flying in there.

Yeah. God damn it. Because they already know what kamikaze means. Crazy. Divine wind. Thank you. It's crazy. Divine wind. That's right. I'm trying to say it in the look up. Divine wind.

And I just leave you guys at that. This is Steve. I guess we're in a two-page. What you're going to see at the plus. So you see and see he catch it. See the two guys grab arms. Yeah Where you would to block for the ball? I'm the big white guy in the left. Okay, they foul as well So there's actually just a good one two man wedges that are formed on this See how those two guys come to you

We rewind that wedge you want that watch this dude get cracked back top he cuts over from Alabama Here one that to the blind size it is. Yeah, there's a dude who runs to the left, right to the left. And that's clearly a boom. Oh my god. Back up the field. What you're going to see at the plus 45, two players come together. Damn. To the shoulder to block for the ball carrier.

And so that is a foul as well. Why is that a foul? Actually two. Why is that a foul? Well, they tried to break up. It was a longer one. You were the middle. Yeah, and you just wait for the guy to like blow you up, but I was the guy that would blow it up too.

Yeah, I got him both. You just spend a lot of time fucking helmet on helmet with other dudes. Yeah, those guys are yeah, that was like the scariest guy on the team. Yeah, I hated blocking those dudes the worst. There was line there was middle linebackers that were like that that would like lead with their helmet Yeah, and I played offensive lines. They're like you're kind of like we played zone blocking So I was always kind of upright not really firing yeah, and dudes would just dive straight in your fucking head It's not it was terrible and you can't leave with the helmet anymore It was what they say right? As an offensive line me you kind of can't but that's not how nobody blocks that way. Yeah, he blocked with your hands. Yeah

So was your dream to go the NFL? There's an offensive line, you kind of can't, but that's not how nobody blocks that way. He blocked with your hands. Yeah. Oh. So. Was your dream to go to the NFL? Uh, no, I knew. You that guy? No, you knew. You knew. I knew, I knew.

You got to Army, did you know in high school, did you? In high school, I knew I was not going to. Oh, good for you. Yeah. Most guys, I ran like a 5, 7, 40. Oh, my God. I'm not going anywhere. This is so, so much.

That's so much. That's so much. It's crazy. I'll slow it. What's so slow. Wait, so what is so much crazy? I'll slow it this. What's average for someone that positioned? Now they run like four nines. Yeah, no, it's terrible. Like it used to be like a freak if you were like three hundred and four nine.

Now there's four nines every year. And there's three hundred tight pounds. So no one's running a fucking five. That's, yeah, they, they are. It's stupid, they even make them run 40 yards. But there's, there's a lot of your lateral motion to excited side motion that they throw line. When yeah the 510 5d Yeah, the I ran like I went to this combine at West Virginia and Ran easily the slowest 40 the entire

Because you wrong, they're all it's so so amazing. Because everyone knows there's a whole group and they're like five, seven, seven. I was like, you know what I'm saying? I was like, you know, I'm kidding. Yeah, you're all, ah, there we go. There we go. Just slow twitch muscle over here. It was so slow.

Dude, you have to do the, uh, two 25, you have two 25. That's stupid for lineman too. They should be doing three, 15. Yeah. Well, did you get a lot? I did. I forget.

I don't think. You know, you really can't work on speed though. It's one of those things you either have you don't you can get better You know there's techniques techniques, but I'm saying you better have it's rather have the explosion or you don't get I mean, I mean you're not it's not you're not gonna be a 5-7 and then all of a sudden you're a faster on it Yeah, you're rather five seven might be generous I told you I saw I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I saw it with Mike's six flat. It was so flat. Yeah, killer's six flat.

It was going into showers, buddy. There was a kid from, there was a West Virginia player because the players from West Virginia were like helping. I think it was like scout.com or something. And the dude who timed me was like, damn. I heard him timing. He was like, damn. What's like, I was like, those times I heard him time it, he was like, damn. What's like, those times are tough.

It's like, Tony. Oh, no, my promise you didn't you about I love you But that coach you told you that doesn't know what he's doing in light to you But in your head you thought you ran a well because it was like a fourth day my brother It was like the talk of the time jump. That's all the town or whatever. It was crazy I might as well records at this camp Well, I forget what it was. I might as well records that this can't It's the worst kind of haunt. When you have children you you hope it's hope that maybe your kids are gonna be I don't know something physically special, right? Yeah, now I'm meeting. Yeah boys. I got boys and and so I'm in Utah And there is a Olympic gold medal swimmer sprinter a camera. My name. She's pretty well. She's medal swimmer sprinter. I can't remember her name. She's pretty well-nimmer. She's a swimmer and she does a lot of the announcing.

Don't do this. I know, I know. Oh, she does a lot of that. She gets a lot of things. No, no, no, no. She sucks a lot of things. No, no, no, no. And her husband was such off like crazy.

Her husband was a world champion. Hall of Fame downhill skier, right? Both of them are just a couple of like, you see them and you go, well, you look different, right? Yeah. So my kids, I was it. But they're skiers I would yeah but they're but he's angry a little game hold on the gold medalist or medalist I know it's still you're still a very good athlete right skiing members a world sports or he is you know he's still when you can win golden bad men or had a gold I was just dressed that downhill skiing is a real sport.

Of course, yeah. Let's go. You gotta be faster. I mean, he's still, I looked at his body and I remember I looked at his body. He's not like for a skier for sure. Yeah, but he's just all legs and ass and just musculoskeletes, fucking.

I'm like, he was like a downhill, like they're big. They're always strong. Either way, I fucking, I play tag with my, I'm it and it's my kids and, and their kids. And they're the same age. Same age. Dude, the difference in speed. The count's got little. The difference in speed.

I got little. It was astonishing. Even I had to roll it as fast as I could and this guy was eight. I had to like, actually, it was astonishing how fast they were. It's like when I went, ran sprints, I've done it twice against NFL, these NFL guys at Tark, at train. It's hard. Don't do that, but yeah.

No, don't do that. Yeah, you were running Sprints against them? I have a video. I look like I'm standing, so you just, you just try. I want to say Pro versus Joe's. I want to say a fast thing. I've done it many times. I'll tell you what, you don't have kids, right, Shane?

No, you have a girl. I do. All right. Yeah, so you're tell you what's weird. You don't have kids, right, Shane? No. You have a girl? I do. All right. Yeah. So you're working that way. Yeah. But you got to.

It's weird when you have kids because tigers and jits, so I take them twice a week now, and they're doing take. Now they're at the level because he's too striped now, too striped white belt. That's the level where they start on the feet and you take down. Oh boy. So me and Tiger, like, I'll just go over certain, like, single leg and grip and stuff with,

and I don't give them too much when I'm like, dude, when he comes out, you grab the leg, run through. And, you know, I just kind of barely coach them on it. And then last week was the first time real life takedowns. And dude, I don't know if it's something in his DNA or just, because it was in my DNA. Oh, yeah. The double leg that I did was in my signature double leg. He takes this fucking eight year old and single legs

and flares out and double legs them into the goddamn mat. Coaches like, Jesus Christ. And they looked at me like, dude. Yeah, I was like, I did not show him that. Well, it's your chance in the day. I don't know if it's just his neck is just downloaded. The kid looks like he does neck exercises. Like he's got high calves.

He's got a neck when he was four years old. He's built like a stingray. When he was four years, we used to go to this. Our friend owns a parkour, parkour gym. So it's higher than before years old. And you'd watch this kid run. You'd watch him run. He would never get tired and he would just run.

No, it stinks. He did it in the parkour. Oh, God. I'm proud to backflip some all that shit. Those parkour guys are nuts. I'm like, how do I'm like, where are we? Oh, God. I'm proud to backflip some all that shit. Those poor cord guys are nuts. I'm like, how do you make money, dude? Oh my God. Those are athletes.

Now those guys are athletes. Let's do a flip on like, they're up of, I mean, when that goes wrong, that must fucking go from. Oh, yeah, they're fucking speedy. The main guy, that guy who's like famous did, where he jumped from the railing and landed. It's so horrifying like jumped what looks like 50 feet and lands on a small disc like that and if you fall you're fucked. Yeah, you're like

Scan the grip fucking wall of China ship, but they're up like a million feet And I was like like the number one guy's like you know, you know, you're making a living to us He's like, oh, yeah dude. And I walked away. I talked to his manager. He's like, you know, I mean, about 70 grams. It's like a teacher sound. Like, oh, man, you know, we're gonna start by. Yeah, it's a bit of a surprise. Yeah, it's a bit of a surprise. Yeah, it's a bit of a surprise.

Where's the money in there? Sponsors, and like, if you're just an outlier, you want to play with your mortality when you're young? Yeah, I mean, yeah. I guess. I mean, some people just get out. It's the juice you're doing it for the juice, right? Yeah. Now, some of those motherfuckers are a little bit older. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they have major competitions, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah, competition. My kids had won the competition in Italy or something like that. Sure. Yeah. Shit legs like, you know, I mean, you know,

it was like 12, but for me. but jumping over rails and shit in Italy. Yeah, yeah, you show you the videos, you're like, yeah, no, you're flipping over buildings. Yeah, it is why I mean, obviously it's impressive. It's like it's fine. It is. I just have no, you know, it's just, I have no interest. I'm like, would you do something with it?

Yeah. Well, there are people like in climb, I think it's insane, where they just climb the buildings. Yeah, well, the two walls will be here and they can just climb up 100 feet. It should just be thieves. That's what I'm saying.

Steel people's purses and then they'll probably run. It's probably where it's from. Or be like a real spider-man with some shit, like, like, fight crime. That's why we're really came from. They just saw spider-man was like, fuck it, I got it. It's very strange, man. And it's so weird. They love it.

That's how I started doing back clues, fucking watching Power Rangers. Really? Yeah, it was just like, oh, fuck it, I got it. That's how I started doing back loose fucking watching power Rangers. Really? Yeah, it's just like oh fuck it I got it. That's how much power Rangers. It does not hold up. No, oh, I have a watch about it. It doesn't hold up. Oh my god It is so lame. They're all yeah Back in a day this it was tight. Yeah, it was like what do you think of you put it on being like all right? Let's see if this holds you put it on being like, all right, let's see if this holds. I was trying to be smurvy like to it. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, wow. You don't realize how gay power rings. All right. Let's not. It's not. All kid stuff is gay. And they do the morphin time. Yeah.

Kids stuff is all. It's very gay. Yeah, but now kids are gay. All kids are gay. All kids are gay. They start off gay. Yeah. I thought they're teaching schools down LA.

Yeah. Well, now kids have these crazy video games where they're playing each other Virtually so they they so my buddy walked by I like he broke that news like it's I know no, but my buddy Other online and listen this Shane. They're not in the same house house Our buddy though walk by that by his kids room he goes take a piss. It's five in the morning. Get dropping in bombs. He hears No, that's what happened. It says what happens on those games Everyone is a miss miss oh my god major races No, but it's five in the morning. He just hears this 12 year-old. Yeah, dude And he goes you motherfucker you've been up all night.

He's been up all night playing with the thing and the fucking guns and all that stuff. And he just doesn't go to sleep. We used to, me and my friend, Jamal, you used to play Call of Duty. And one time we were playing it together. Jamal's a like, Jamal is an African-American.

Oh yeah. Black. And, uh, this fucking black. There you go. And, uh, I'm fucking black. There you go. And, uh, yeah, I got a good one. Just let it all out.

10 years, you can see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black. And, uh, this dude was just screaming the N word. And it's just me and Jamal sit there like, no way. And then eventually I was like, I, this is great.

I go, I was like, does that like, does that like bother you? I mean, I think I knew you're gonna say some gay shit like, this is great. I was like, does that like bother you? I knew you were gonna say some gay shit. Like, you're damn buddy. Yeah. Yeah, like mad at me for me. Like, does that affect you? Are you doing the fucking job?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the fuck you man. Yeah. Cause it's like, what are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? It's a black player, just like young kids drop that and you're like, what the fuck?

Yeah. You know, that's how we end racism. Even racism even those big gamers like they go like the cancel culture They'll go back to when they were young and they'll find out they dropped the bomb to Pewdiepie guy one that was Well, his was Ross. Yeah, he's like the guy that used to be like the gamer. Uh-huh. P.T. Poo is it ptp? Puty pie. Yeah, I think it was ptp. Maybe I got the wrong guy, but there was yeah He hit it like you just called a guy the N word like on his live stream Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Damn damn yeah, and fucking is his gaming career now He's back the game the game culture's like Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've all heard it. Yeah, yeah, yeah Swedish, you know, or something. Yeah, oh, you get a pass They get yeah, I get a pass. I get a pass the Swedes are good

Weird where gaming's gonna go in like 10 years. It is virtual virtual They're already doing when you put those fucking helmets on. Dude, I fucking was playing ping pong. At this stupid fucking thing that my son has, and I'm in this house, and you know, my old house with the cement floors and stuff, and the ball gets hits the net and it rolls. You want to pick it up?

I want the fucking reach for it, and I fell over. Yeah, yeah. It makes you wonder if we're actually living it in a fucking hyper simulated reality right now. I wonder. So weird, man. Oh, so fucking weird.

Is New York locked down like, I'm gonna have to listen. The media makes LA seem like North Korea, but it's actually not too bad here. Is New York pretty locked out? Similar to. Similar. Yeah, just.

Not as bad. You guys suck where they're like, you're one of the weird like the height of it. I was talking to Schulte about it. And he moved to Miami. He was like, yeah, they're like, you're one of the weird like the height of it. I was talking to Schultz here about it. And he moved to Miami. He was like, yeah, they're like, yeah, you can eat outdoor outdoor dining's open. He's like, dude, it's fucking snow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, who's gonna need to fuck eat outside? Right. He's like, so they make seem like, oh, all good, small business can stay open. You can eat outside. He's like, nobody wants to fuck you. You talk about New York.

New York, yeah. They just built into the rooms. They built rooms and said it was outside. Yeah. Just because it was shitty. They were York, yeah. They just built into the streets, right? They built rooms and said it was outside, like just cause it was shitty. They were like shit. And then the seller and like, there's no comedy going down. That was, yeah, that was all close.

Now there is though, right? Now it's back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's fully, just gotta be back. It's fully, fully back. Yeah, it's fully back. It's all together and yeah. Yeah.

And so you have to show that on your phone, I'm telling you. Yeah, they have to show that. The people, yeah. The fans do. Yes. But no ideas have to show that. The people who, yeah. The fans do. Yes. But no ideas to vote. No.

When you were doing your special, did you find yourself kind of nervous about, do you feel like you have to dance around subjects or do you see a special? No, I did. I saw it. Yeah, there's no. No, no, no.

No, I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah. No, that's your brand though. Yeah, I'm just like, I didn't feel that from you. I don't think. I don't think so. That's your brand though. When you say like, I mean, I didn't feel that from you. I watched it especially. I love them, but I, you know. No, I don't think.

Yeah. It does kind of get annoying like when I, like, perform, I'm used to performing in New York, like during the week of New York. So it's all liberal. And it's very fun to go on stage and be like, you know, Trump rules just to have them on. Yeah.

But then you go on the road, I'm like, you know, Trump rules and the whole crowd's like, yo, Trump rules, just to have them all. But then you go on the road, I'm like, yo, Trump rules, and the whole crowd's like, yeah, I'm gonna follow, this isn't funny now. That was not funny. This isn't a rally, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, with my stuff, now I'm trying to show the similarities and the differences,

but I'm not drawing sides, like I'm trying to show the folly on both sides. But whenever I, like, I notice in my crowds when I make fun of like the liberals, and then, then I'm gonna make fun of the conservatives. But they don't know you. That's kind of crazy. Yeah. Our boy, David Lucas, who goes on before, she's proud of me.

He literally comes out and goes, Hey, am I the only one that misses Trump here? Yeah. Anywhere we go. Yeah. I'm crazy. Certain markets go crazy. Certain markets. I'm like, ooth like, you're rough night.

Who got weird about it? Where were we at? Oklahoma. Yeah, so it's weird. It's weird. Yeah, it's right talking shit. Some of those states, like I did Richmond, Virginia, and you would think, like,

but there's like little pockets in red states that are very liberal. You know what I mean? I didn't think that was there surrounded by it. So they're like ultra liberal. You know what I mean? I didn't get all the way around it by it. So they're like ultra liberal. Yeah, it depends on where you go. That's what's surprising. If it's more combative, they get defensive.

You know, that makes sense. But like, even he did in Austin. And because you think Texas, you think red, it takes you in the ocean. But in Austin, Austin is a little LA. Austin's purple more blue. You don't need it there. It's the same in Arizona.

There's small liberal pockets in Arizona's fucking red, but there's, has it's small pockets of, you know. Well, there's also like, in schools, all these kids are being challenged with new narratives. It's not how we grew up where you learn US history. It's really tricky now for them to teach because what happens is as a teacher, I just got into this yesterday, as a teacher, you're teaching elementary school. If you're going to teach US history, the question becomes,

if you start teaching from 1776 and not 1619, you will have parents who go wait, you know And they can be white or whatever they have their liberal point of view and it becomes a debate And it's really tricky for the teacher to have to deal with so now the teacher teaches if you teach about being a global citizen and being a Racism if you bring up the term anti-racist. It's super charged versus not racist and these are the elementary school? Oh, I just was, yeah. I'm dealing with that in my elementary school. So it becomes a whole fucking thing and it's a balancing act. So what's young?

Thin and fifth grade? Yeah, so young people now, he's actually, I'm sorry, he's in fourth. Young people now are being educated. It's just different. And social media is setting a different standard. They're just, public shaming is a real thing and it's keeping people, there's, people are probably, far away, far away stare.

But it's a very powerful thing because with young people now, there's call out culture and call in culture, which is the idea of, I'll call you out in front of everybody, or I might call you in first as for a private. This is happening in schools. So now some student says, you didn't recognize my identity or whatever it might be, and you're being called in. So now that kid calls you in with the teacher,

and you've been called in. Now the next step is to be called out in front of everybody. So what happens is with people. My words fight. It's a lot to deal with. I'm like, yeah, you call me in. We're gonna find it. Correct.

Correct. That's what we're gonna do. Now if you do that. No, no, no, you can't. You're at a school. You're at a school, but also it's a lot. It's a lot to deal with, man, because like how do you, how do you navigate that? So what happens?

Lots on the page. Kids are becoming, there's a puritanical. There is a new puritanism in a way because everybody is afraid. When I got into it a little bit yesterday with this teacher, the way she was teaching, she was teaching, she was teaching, white teacher. Yes, and she was teaching, she had a book on anti-racism. Anti-racism versus not being racist.

It's a very strong, strong, yes. It's a very strong political point of view. It's insane. And what was interesting was I was the only one who voiced it, and I could tell some parents were- But holes got tight. Into it, other parents got super tired. I'd be so funny.

And nobody wants it. To be, if they did that, when me and my friends were in fourth grade. It'd be so funny. It'd be so funny. Of course. I mean, I remember we had teachers telling us about gay people, and we were delighted So fun to say gay yeah, we'd be like what is gay

I mean if we had a racism class. Yeah, well that's good. Wait. Can I say? What are some words I'm not allowed that's kind of what's have a word. I don't know That's what's happening now with with gender and now you're talking about, now you're describing somebody as being a straight, white cisgender male. You have to explain it that way. So with the teacher's work, bro. Matt, get this thing. I don't want to get into this.

Too much of it. Oh my god. I'm in it. I'm a little bit of cooking that. Yeah, I mean, it comes on me fucking mind green hair. Yeah, it's fucking. Well, what they're two things that can happen. One is, it becomes, it's hard for on the teacher.

It's hard on the teacher because they're being pushed, they're being pulled on one and everybody's having an argument. So now, how do we teach? Right, how do we teach? What is the standard? What's the truth? I'm all first teaching true American history, okay?

Not white washed, but these are kids. I don't know how to do it. But what also happens is exactly what you're saying, dude. Like my friend's kid, he goes to a nice butterfly and he goes, he goes, he's looking at him, looking at him sitting there on that pedaling. His friend goes, his son goes, Dad, joking around, goes, how dare you gender that butterfly. Excuse them, fourth grade? Keep it there all fucking around.

Now they're making fun of it. Oh yeah. If you start making it hush hush. Oh kids are gonna run. Bro, kids aren't dumb. Like my niece, like I was talking to her about it and that she's in like seventh or eighth grade and she's like, yeah, there's like 10 bisexual kids.

Yeah. It's like two, your seventh grade. And five kids who identify as trans. Yeah They see who's do you know if you were a kid you'd see like I'm not saying they're weird for doing that but like You know, they're if a kid was actually trans You just don't have friends Back my day you're called God. Yeah. God. By the way, it was God.

It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true.

It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true.

It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very true. It was very man. It's a lot. There is something about, there is a lot of talk in a lot of schools about capitalism being essentially inherently racist. That's insane. And you hear this all the time. That is the narrative on that side of the equation. So you got to know when people like cloaks something that they're teaching in, we're just trying to all get along and you go That's not what's going on. Yeah, you're teaching a strong political agenda here. Yeah, you have a bias You got a bias. Yeah, you got it. You can't have that you can't have that you're saying the same capitalism is racist

It's a very common thing now in the anti-racist far left movement You know, whatever it might be the capitalism and the structures of even the Western institutions all of them are inherently biased towards one... It's essentially a white supremacy construct, therefore it favors only whites. And so that may, there may be a debate, there may be a conversation we had there. Hell yeah.

But... I love it. Yeah, it's just when they start teaming. Let me know when you're ready for the rogue big dog. Oh yeah, it's good. Perfect. Oh you just won. Yeah, dude.

You're he's pulling. No man. This is not bullying. This is friendship. This is friendship. This is. We're side by friend. That's stronger though.

Same. He's pulling from your pouch. Yeah. Oh but maybe rogue is a little better than I think rose I've tried them all. Yeah, what's the reason this is mango? It's nice. It's nice. Yeah, it's nice. I got you done Yeah, better than mint I'm not gonna say better This is disgusting though mangoes I don't like mango the fruit really my girl you did makes this fun

I just like salt all over and hot sauce though, mangoes. Mangoes are great. I don't like mango the fruit. Really? My girl, you did it makes us much fun. Mangoes are like salt all over and hot sauce. Oh, fuck. Well, that's why she's ruining it. Yeah. I've never been a mango. Why don't you add some liver to it? This is sucky.

Mango itself is fucking delicious, man. So you're going to war with teachers? I think it's time. I think that's the right move. I'm sorry, speaking of a parent teacher, I will take a flag on a hill, nobody else wants to fuck a defend. But then you're the promise, then you're the crazy dad, and then the thing gets bullied at school because they get the crazy dad. Hey, Baba, I'm sure. I'm sure there's going to be a lot of stuff. We'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You just pull him out of that fucking school if he gets too crazy. Yeah, you got asked you so what you're willing to fight for Yeah, it's kind of there's trying to change up shit I just think I just think at the end of the day everybody has something they're willing to fight for and you define yourself that way Most of us get to walk around not having to worry about it problem with kids as Kids make you draw some lines. Oh, big time. You know what I'm time. But New York crowds are still years is fourth grade US history. You're like this is you got to believe in something Christopher Columbus ruled. I'm gonna say it. My kids not showing up on Christopher Columbus stand. You guys don't celebrate the Carolings due though. You know what unions were bad?

Did you know that? You know they were greats too? I mean, that's not what I'm talking about. Should we get into JFK? What about MLK? Yeah. Teachers like, no. That's the thing.

You gotta be careful and you gotta be fair, right? Of course. But it's fucking better to do your homework. Yeah. You better come correct. You better come correct. You better come correct, you know. That's all. If you're gonna take this fight,

you better have done your homework and you better have read the people you're disagreeing with. Luckily I have. You kick ass in school? What do you mean? Like good, good grades in school? I did it right. Yeah, I did fine.

Yeah, I liked history. I studied. You weren't like the history. No, but I got into West Point. Yeah, that's a good song. In school, man. Yeah, I did all right. I was interested, man, too. Yeah, nice. Yeah. Yeah. History's fun. It's interesting. It's the best for us. You would drop us in anytime.

You must have got good grades if you want to Louisville. I don't get no fucking good grades. No, you should have been back from back when I got there. No, I don't think Louisville's. Oh, wait, you do cheer. No, so like cheerleader with the journal. Yeah, I just fuck you, Shane. No, he's in the anger man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was telling him he's got gonna get back on the boots. Yeah, he can stay there. He always stays there. Stop pushing him. He's like, it's time. Chappelle, he's like, I want to see that stage. I want to stay clean.

He wants to see me punch people. Nah, it's time. He wants some good whiskey. I get some, I brought from Montana. No, I'm all right. Maybe I should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chappelle, you stick with me.

I mean, I'm a state, but no, I'm a state. You're so, though. When I, for Louisville, I'm a state, but no, uh, so when I would for Louisville, uh, I treated junior college in Texas, well, I got plastered and got kicked off pretty much where it wasn't allowed to like try out again and shit. And so Louisville had, and I wasn't finished with junior college, but Louisville had a program to where you could go to the junior college.

It was like a transfer program, but you could go to the junior college and cheer at the university. You're like the Trelloans of cheerly. Yeah, you're in cancer in the locker room. Oh, where I was a fucking dude, I was just a bullshed down. Did you watch that Netflix cheer show? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fantastic. Yeah, fantastic.

So that's cool of that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love the whole thing. I like the whole thing ladies. And then they were all the ladies. They were ridiculous.

They were so fantastic. So hot. And they were crazy the late they were ridiculous they were so fantastic so hot and they're really crazy when they're celebrating at the end of the ocean I was like I wish I was in there when they wanted the beach out of run out with her and there's that one there's that one the source and the source of the polo he did it we did who is It's like, what are you doing? Who is this dude? He's like, blackstown a whole 30-year-old. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he works for Notre Dame. Yeah. I know we're gonna do it. Yeah, there was that one, Diapies with the crazy parents. She was like the best one, remember? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, she's pretty good.

She's really good. She's good, huh? Really, really good. She's big on social media. Yeah. And it was her and then Jerry was the one who was like on Ellen and hosting. Yeah.

And she was doing the Oscar red carpet. Dude, I saw a bunch of those girls on Instagram. I saw that because I saw them on follow-up. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing.

I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. He said there's a lot. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. He said there's a lot. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. I saw that same thing. I don't know what I thought nothing was gonna come out of it. They were gonna be like, oh, who's this? If you ladies want to come to You know so funny. I liked those fucking pictures. I got

Someone I was like why Shane So crazy, I got really into it too, and then what what was the other one with the football team did it too? The same What was the other one with the football team did it too? Oh yeah, it's like the same. Oh, dude's the best. Yeah, last chance too. It's so good. So those teams, they, I watch it, I watch it every year. I just rewatched season one, they're fucking late. It's the best.

The teams, you played football. No team on earth would act like this. Every team, dude, it's on her. If the other team scores first, the whole team explodes. If their attitudes were awful. The coaches were fucking insane. Well, I watched two of them and I didn't see, I don't think one player actually lasted in a D1 program.

Am I wrong? No, no they do. It's a monster. It's a powerhouse for that. Yeah, yeah. But what school was it when I went on to play Big Time Ball? They did? Oh yeah, NFL?

No, I'm saying college. I think like LaGarabana. Florida State. The guys I followed that I got emotionally invested. Just fucking. They quit at the end. How long? Dude, how long?

Like that D tackle, they'd be like, dude, all you got to do is go this class tomorrow, and you're gonna get a full ride to Florida State. Then be like, next day, and it's your picture of an empty seat, you're like, fuck! How do you make your wake up? Like wake up. Yeah, and then be like next day, and it showed a picture of an empty seat. You're like, fuck! I know! How do you not get your shit out? Like wake up!

Yeah, but then they show- So frustrating, because it'll be like that, like they'll show somebody fucking up like that. You're like this fucking idiot. And then they're like, here's his backstory. And you're like, sorry, I called that guy an idiot. He's like, mom shot his dad or something, and I'm sorry.

I'm like, it's all really- Yeah, it's all, so this was about a high school. No, this is a Jew coach. No, a Jew I'm like, it's all really good. Yeah, it's all, so this was about a high school. No, this is a juco. Juco. First one is East Mississippi. You know that coach got canceled because he, of course, he crunched a ref in the first season. He wants to ref, though, he got canceled because there's what?

There's a Jeremy kid on the team and the Jeremy kid out at his DMs because he DM the kid. This guy's a fucking idiot. Great, but in 80, he DM the kid goes, I'm your Hitler. Yeah, he said I'm your Hitler. No, he's a German kid. No. Yeah.

No, these coaches are the funniest. He can't fire for that. He got fire. He got it. It's a clumsy, it's a clumsy and out. Then he came out with slap. I think, have you, I love this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jason Brown, I think it is. But do you know how to mount a show? That's the guy from Compton. Yeah, so white dude from Compton. I love this thing. Jason Brown, I think it is. Do you know how to mount a show? That's the guy from Compton. Yeah, so white guy from Compton. So he came out with this whiskey called Slapdick whiskey. And then something happened, he was bragging about something like whatever like 60 bottles, something like that.

And then he said some derogatory term. Like someone, he was telling this like, stored a bias whiskey and they're like, we're good. And he's like, you fucking dropped some crazy language. And so everyone just dropped them. Like his whiskey that canceled. But he was he was he was he seemed happy.

He seemed happy with his life. Like he was he was in independence, Kansas. And he would like the camera would come back. He had like a hot tub. Uh huh. And he would just sit there and smoke a cigar. It's not a great man. Yeah, like he was the man. That guy was great. I remember that. And for games, sit there and smoke a cigar and not tell me, I'm a fucking man. Yeah, he was the man.

That guy was great. I remember that guy. And before games, what's his name, Brinne? Jason Brown. Yeah, he was. He would give like pep talks to his team, be like, yo, I'm from Compton. And all his players were like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Oh, this is the dude. Yeah, he rules. He rules. Yeah, that's him. And he played ball. He was good. I think when he was in high school ball player, I think. He big motherfucker.

Yeah, he's big. Yeah, he played quarterback. Yeah, he played ball. He was good. I think when he was a high school ball player, I think big motherfucker. Yeah, he's big Yeah, I think he holy shit played quarterback. Yeah, he played quarterbacks. He's in all black school Yeah, he was so passionate and funny man. Does he have a career now? Well, he was he was he did he act like he was hood? Oh, yeah, yeah The way he would talk to the kids. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, yeah, swagger to him. Yeah, but like You know, I'm not like he talks like a blackout from the 90s. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, it was like a swagger to him. Yeah, but like, you know, I'm not like, I talked like a blackout from the 90s. Yeah, okay.

So it was a little like, it was kind of sus. Yeah, okay. This whole team was like, yeah, they really didn't relate to it. It was like awkward as fuck. Yeah, this old lingo. Yeah, he was like coming with like, Fugel jerseys and shit.

No, he's just like, he's wild. Yeah, he's wild. But then he was just, like, he was like coming with like Fugul jerseys and shit. No, he's like he's wild. Yeah, he's wild Like he was a good coach, but he's just like very Lucy Goosey. Yeah, they're all Lucy Goosey for like those kids You need discipline so they can move on. Oh, I gotta go like, but those kids I would like man You ain't ball out. Yeah, you ain't ball that you ain't shit. You're on TV. Just kick guys off the team back on The next day team back on the next day Like back on no Consistency, which is crazy. Yeah, but it was for TV was fantastic My favorite one was I think it was independence where they were like they were playing it like a southern Iowa

Some juke-o from Iowa, and they're like we're gonna fucking kill these white dudes Just 50 white dude show up just pounded down their throne white dudes just 50 white dude show up just down to down the throne just power I yeah but you're all like throwing their helmets like fuck this shit is just white boys do this you know you're white What the fuck? Yeah, they're like discipline. I gotta watch the season. Better plays more strategy. Just discipline white kids. They're season. I'm not over athletic. Yeah, I'm just fucking ready.

They just, but then there's one time, one of the game is like their second, uh, yeah, I think it's the second game of season. They just straight up clear the bench in a fist fight. Yeah. With the other team and then get suspended for like four minutes. But that's what I missed the point. Yeah, it's fantastic team and then get suspended like Yeah, yeah Do you know what self-destructed behavior like that that's like that's like that's

Coaches that's why the coaches are there. Yeah, you realize it everybody hates themselves to a degree that they're gonna Fuck it. I'm like you realize it like Jason Brown any of those guys There's so much self-loathing that you can get them right to the fucking edge and you go, oh, you gotta just jump, bro, and just Sprite Wings. Just jump, oh, you gotta just just jump. And they'll just be like, yeah, and they'll fall over, because they just don't believe me.

The act of the, the, the, the, like kind of the secret sauce of the show was the lady who would help the kids in class. She was like, so good. I just got a fight with my friend about this. What? I thought she was flirting with those kids a little. Oh, she definitely said something. And. She was like so good. I just got a fight with my friend about this. What? She was flirting with those kids a little. Oh, she definitely said something like that.

And my friend was like, no. Oh, 100%. She loves them. No, no, no. Dude, look how they're behaving. Like if I was dating that lady and then saw that, you know, when it came out, I'd be like, what the fuck?

But that big, the tackle to you. Jack him off. Yeah, I don't, I don't agree. I think she was. Well, I'm just long suffering and love them. I think she was long suffering and loved them. I think she loved them. What was she having to say from my own insecurity, like if she was posting pictures with like,

do you want to ask her everyday? I'd be like, yeah. Yeah, she was hot. She was cool. In the, now she's all tuned to the kids. She had, she had braces. And some of the relationships with the kids, you heard?

Yeah. I don't mean to. No, I thought you were talking about the black woman who was, no, it's her. No, it's her. Okay, the teacher. Okay. Yeah, let's see She's like a podcast Look at her and then I go you know Back to that one right there bottle. I might be on your team. I would think which

Now what do you think right there? No picture real? I'm real The room tissue like you are You're real don't stir like pretty sexy. Let's be what you say. I said I'm a real Donald's sterling Like you can hang out're bad. I'm real Donald Sterling. First of all, she's pretty sexy. Let's be cool. I said, I'm a real Donald Sterling. I'm like, you can hang out with them, just don't take pictures with them, all right? She's a realist, she'll be cool. Those are court-exerring.

You can get pictures of them. You get the big dick. The big dick's in your face. Yeah. I mean, she's kind of sexy. Look at that. Look at that sexy. Yeah.

She's kind of hot. Now, it's a real shame if she does just do this for you know I think she does obviously love it. I think she loves them. I also think she like big It's also there's a chance. You can have both. Oh good Gorgeous and maybe she honest her love for big dick for good. Yeah. By helping these. Yeah. I don't know why. And these kids will listen to her and she, she would like, if they were gonna miss a class and if they miss one more they get kicked out of school. Yeah. She'd go to their dorm, which was like the worst living conditions ever.

She'd go to their dorms and like knock on the door and give them the class. Really? She had the toughest job in the world. She's, she's an angel. She's an angel, okay. But we're being disrespected. If I was those dudes, I'd be whacking off to her. Yes, is that her? No, no, that's not her. That's not her.

That is not her. I don't know. Hold on, let me see. She's on book out. No, no. She was great though. Then the the newest season. Look at that picture. The new season. She was really the only one that cared. Yeah, everyone else was like to coach it a lot. Fuck him get them off the team She was the one person that was like these kids need help this one. Yeah, look at that. It's nice. It's a nice picture We're nice I don't I don't think she was hooking up with him. You know that thing about it. No, you know the one you know One slip through you haven't seen it. You got to watch her with this detackle. Yeah, even I told my grandma. Yo, she's fucking him Like she's too handy. Yeah, she's like she's like you got that deep

He's like oh, thank you. Yeah, you got that deep even he's on come from from camera Thank you This fucking layer is like sitting on their laps and stuff she does oh, yeah, it's All right, yeah, I think that might be a lie. No, I'm telling that part My she sits on their lot. There's there's video on there first thing that probably might that's probably made up She can't sit on their lap. I'm telling you don't recall. Oh, I'm I'm telling you say on the I don't know you know she sits on the lap. I'm telling you. I don't recall. I'm telling you, stay on the, I don't know, you like it. If she sits on the lap, that's why.

I'm almost positive. She sat on the lap. I think that's true. I haven't seen him about a year. Yeah, I think you're getting it. You're gonna lose it. You got a little, you got a lot of chances to it. That's the closest.

I like your attitude. I like your attitude. I like what you're saying, but that's not true. That's okay. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. I was trying to prove my

point. I'll see. I'll watch it. That's the other season. The season is West LA college. And it's not as good. It's basketball one. It's nowhere near. Because the chance of any of them going anywhere as well. Yeah, I'm starting now. Yeah. Yeah. And the poor coach, man, he's like, they're like great. He has like six kids. He does it. Like, you know, yeah, he the poor coach man, he's like they're like great. He has like six kids, he does it like, you know. Yeah, he gets fired off and he's not watching rinse around, he doesn't swear.

Yeah, he's the bet of the coaches. By far the best. He's probably the best and then there was a guy out here. Yeah, for the job with USC and the Lakers and turned it down. Really? He said I'm trying to give back to the kids. Yeah, that guy's awesome.

And his wife's like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But buddy, the big fat guy in season one, he's a dick. And then, though, got from content. Those two are just out of his mind. Dude, if their team is losing, they explode. They're down like seven, nothing at the beginning of the game. And they'll be like, fuck it.

Get the fuck out, just spasm on coordinators. It's on throws for the interception. It's just like game. Even though they're up 14 they're doing their set. Yeah, it's like they have no mega and all these players don't want to be there because they're all just trying to go D1. Yeah, so they're all just like middle of can feel it's like nightmare and Some kids like there was a big shot that was that Florida state like a five star Yeah, yeah, they don't work out for the sock theilating the face. What? Yeah, they're wild.

We'll say this. Yeah, I'm not gonna defend them. Watch the tape. Yeah, every story has two sides. Is all I'm gonna say. She did when there's a tape of it out there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What does she do? I looked to me like she did try to hit him or swung at him. They're like, I'm not saying he should punch a lady in the face. Wait, what is this? This is at Florida State. Is that what I got kicked out and had to go to Independence Day? Oh, so wait, did she follow him?

No, they're out of bar. They're out of bar. He's like a freshman. Yeah. They bump into each other at the bar. Right. And she nudges him out of the way to get in the spot at the bar, and he's like, what are you doing? And I think she kind of swings at him.

And then he just, oh, he just ran. He's very good. He reacts. It's very bad. But there's no hit women. Yeah, but Flores Staves, I can't have it, man. Yeah. So that's why he had to go to the Compton Code.

Yeah, and then he's like real cocky when he gets there. Oh, yeah. And he's like real cocky when he gets there. Oh, yeah. It was like throwing bomb. My friend, my friend, my friend, so it doesn't work out. Yeah, I'm the key character. I was like, he went out of her eye, and then the coach was like,

you know what, play like, no, fuck that. Yeah, he's like, you don't know anything. Oh, my real? The kid was like, I went to Florida State, you're a child. No. And his dad was like, I think he then fell through, so he thought he knew more than the coach. Yeah, it was like the perfect shit storm. Oh, it's a bus. Yeah, it's the best. I got to,

yeah, I got to watch this season. You can't hit. Oh, it's self. Of course you can't. Well, my buddy, my buddy's in a bar and he's dating girl. Right. So they they have a fight. They kind of break up. They're not dating that, you know, and she goes just right there at the bar. She's leaving? Nope, they're talking. You know what he is? She goes whack, open him. Wack, so she comes this way, comes back, and then goes to smack him again. So he goes boom, really hard, knuckles.

Tom, and as the button thing comes, he just goes like, hey, and hits her like that. And she goes, like that. And the bartender goes, he just goes like, hey, and hits her like that, and she goes, oh, like that. And the bartender goes, hey, like that, and the bartender, Greg comes over, and he goes, you gotta get out of here. And the bartender, and my buddy goes,

she just paintbrushed me. She fucking hits me. And she goes, come back for a special shot. And he goes, I saw everything, I saw the whole fucking thing, dude. I can't wait this, I still gotta get you to get fucked. Yeah, you got no. So people have to leave, but that was it.

She fucking whack, whack, whack. And he just gave her one. He's like, you're not coming back a third time. I give two. Yeah. I mean, how many times do I have to until I got to defend myself? I mean, you might wanna come.

That's the move that you got. Just, he said he goes, He's gonna take four to stay quarterback. He doesn't hit a wing like straight up. He does a no. Oh, he's doing straight. Oh, he's doing straight. He's doing straight.

Yeah, straight. Yeah, that's a problem. I gotta he's doing straight. He's doing straight. Yeah, straight. I got a slow-mo. Oh, bartenders have a weird air against, don't they? I don't like them. I don't like them either. I don't like, but hipster bartenders. Like, they have this weird air against, like, you don't own the bar. Yeah.

It's my fucking dream. But they can, they do have you by the balls a little bit, because if it's crowded, you just want to get a drink for you and your girl. Yeah. And now you got to play it. You know, and then they see if you raise your hand, which is I guess a dick move. You go like, what if you're not paying attention?

Let's your hot chick with big tits. They don't pay attention to the suit. But you know, dude, and then I was going, what whiskeys they have, they're like, I'm fucking, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, like, all right, fuck you, man. How about that?

Right. Yeah, you don't own the place. I ask for Bud Light. You ask for it. I go you I go to cities and like if I'm in a cool bar I'm like you guys have any blood like they get mad. Yeah, they kind of like we have a pills No, they they have they have never have them there beers. Yeah, it's very I'm the guy who asks for their for a pills nut and if they say Corona or still I go it's okay I want I want to decide it. You'll be real gay. And I'm almost that way whiskey.

Now, now I've got to whiskey. I was, but the go-to, yeah, I was, you have any Japanese whiskey? You have buffalo trays? Most of them have buffalo trays. Let's use the go-to. You have cauliflower ears though, I tend to be. True, that's a real like, I'm not gonna disagree with you.

What do you mean? Cauliflower ears. Yeah. I'm not gonna bother you. Yeah, no, no, no. They also, he's a giant. He's a huge man. I just asked for wild turkey straight out.

Everywhere has that. Yeah. And then you go scream and cry. And punch the journal. Everyone was mean. Yeah. My child. My child.

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terms conditions apply. Once again, hundred bucks cash bonus when you visit Ernest.com slash fighter to refinance your student loan, not available in all states, term conditions apply. I'm telling you on the road every morning, you know, because I wake up early and I can't sleep in. So I'll wake up, no matter what, six of them when I go down to make coffee wherever I at in the the road every morning, you know, cause I wake up early and I can't sleep in. So I'll wake up, no matter what, six of them when I go down to make coffee,

wherever I at in the Airbnb, whatever city, he's up before me just tonight, Brendan. I bet it's really nice. Yeah, it's just amazing. Man. Or is there some aggressive stuff? Yeah, it's just, I mean, I put everything in there, my fucking crazy thoughts, my happy,

your face is your favorite. It's the most you can. And keep that, it's a beautiful thing. Oh yeah, never too long. People are like, you're so quiet sometimes, I'm like, because I let everything out in a fucking time. Do you ever read any death threats? I mean that journal's like,

No. You're fucking. I just gotta get this out. Yeah, I gotta get this fucking out. You're wonderfully unique. And the most unique guy I know, that's a good thing. It means you're an original. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a good thing. It means you're an original. I mean, I just mean, you marched your own drum and you haven't been as influenced by the things that could have molded you.

You know what you are, you're really hard to find. Yeah, I mean, good like you could do your material in front of anybody, no way can steal it. Yeah, so you know, a fucking male cheerleader grew up with a dog by a white family who likes counting crows You know love counting crows. Yeah, I mean, I know what he's pretty good fucking what a great You know, I know him you do know him very well. Are you serious? I spent like a I made fun of Brian's I just I was just with him and she weeks because of it I was just with him and I spent really a weak with him. Yeah fucking amazing and you know It's pretty wild. He's a hell of a guy. I'm gonna say hi. I will

What is that we in fact he just text me. He's gonna be like you okay? Yeah Yeah, he just text me. Is he still making music? Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, his song. I mean so he writes it My buddy's Joey's farm he goes up there and just writes alone. Oh really? He's to have dreads. No, he shaved his head a bummer He was on a rugged not too long ago. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he talked about Disorder that he has is a great dude. What is that disorder? No, some would fucking multiple people Schizophrenic now I don't think so. I can't remember. Oh bipolar bipolar was it by phone I don't know, but either way. He's a great dude. Yeah, that's amazing guy and he's so fucking talented. What's his name again?

I'd be autism if he's counting crows. Oh I'll take that Like rain man Yeah, he's great. No, but yeah, I journal be similar. Yeah, he is wise. Cheers. Well he heads Yeah, you gotta get rid of this. Yeah, he got rid of this. He could time. Yeah, he had him for a while. He was going strong with those He can he's a he can hey, so it suffers from this So should have mental health disorder the fuck is that that's what I yeah, you wouldn't know it get it if you know I'm it's like he's just funny shit and great really cool

Right, you know disorders you know what that is you can't if you go I know him and I've never seen any It's just always the involved experience a discussion lack of Continuity between thoughts memory surround his actions sounds like an identity finish a lot of songs Let's come back to it. Yeah, that's all that. Yeah, I don't know what that is The middle of the song. What the hell am I doing? Now a day no puzzles for that game Now a days by the way, you know Mental disorders are are big business. I mean your kid has anything and you can send them the five different experts

If you have the money if you want you could surround your child with 15 different. Yeah, you can really fuck you. Yeah, yeah, money can really fuck your kid up because they'll they'll label and The schools have all the specialists want you go to in Santa Monica in Malibu in those places where there's that much money pop an adoroll on kids, dude, but it's us I like doing it just oh yeah, I know there's disorders out there? Do you pop an aderal on kids? Oh, dude. But it's also like, I like doing it. Are they still doing it? Just, oh yeah.

You're russian kids with zero. I know there's disorders out there, I get all that, but when we were kids, it's like, he's fucking, you know, sad. I mean, get out of this. Well, it's also the thing, he's like, he's pathologist, I like that.

I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. Get over it dude. But they've also pathologized aggression and natural rambunctious boy boy stuff so boys boys

relate to each other and they rough how a lot of boys just rough house they run into each other yeah boys a boys that is considered a pathology a lot of times that's a L.A. school shit no bro I know man I know man you got to get out of there I get you know my kid would be fucked. Oh, you know, he's Boy that out of boys need last special normally don't yeah, yeah, yeah, he passed away. Yeah, I don't know he's dealing with cancer No, no one did I remember last time I saw him I was like how do you looks like he just Well, he was talking to me literally for 30 minutes about gambling. I was again. Oh, yeah No doubt I'm a you know I gamble but fuck I was like, I'm not getting out of my name, you know, I gamble but fuck dude. I'm not getting out of my name.

You have to get that gay dude. This is it, round. He's doing it for a two, oh shit. Nine years, right? He didn't want people to feel sorry for him so he didn't, he didn't tell anybody. He's a bad person. He legend. We hung out with him at the comedy store.

Yeah. That's where you're talking about gambling all the time. Yeah, he loved to gamble. He was such a talented. Yeah. Yeah, he was, he was one of the first comics I saw though. I was like, face hurt the whole show. Yeah. He came out, he did a show at Helium and Philly

and he was like, ah, I wish I would have had that ham sandwich earlier. Anyway, and then he just stand up and then throughout the set, he'd be like, ah, could have had that ham. That's occasionally during his set. It was a crowd of mine. Arty Lang told me a mystery about him where um

He said he gets a call. This is like 98 Or something, you know, and he goes hey, what are you doing? All right, he goes I don't know he goes I'm gonna come over and say something and so I was like all right So he just comes over and he goes you want to see what a hundred thousand thousand cash looks like Right there and already goes what are you gonna do with that? He I'm going to give it to my bookie because I lost a bet. That's not true. They said he would get his money from Senate at live and drive straight to the Lenin city. It's shit.

It's the best. Yeah, the best. Man, that one, yeah, that made me sad. That was the first, that was the first celebrity death that, uh, made you sad? Yeah, I mean, I talked to him. Kobe didn't eat from Philly. Kobe, Kobe made it was weird for me. I just remember me like, oh shit, Kobe, dad.

I mad. It was not like, I wasn't like, really? Were you not a Kobe fan? I liked, I like, I respected him. I liked, I liked, I was a big shack, yeah. Oh, okay. He's two teams, yeah, you know, shack,, shack. There's a big a shack diesel thing. Well, diesel. The big air.

He's such a freak. That's another, that's another combo. Like you everybody would have thought are already what it died before norm. You would have guessed shack would have gone before Kobe. Shack's like a fucking St. Bernard. He's like seven, say, died like five. Soon. That's not the best thing to say.

You know what I mean? No, but yeah, I'm just huge. He's enormous the best thing to say. You know what I mean? No, but yeah, it's like just huge, you fucking enormous. It needs tons of Papa John's pizza. Yeah, it's fun. You said he says, it's full of size 20. 22 or something like that. It's crazy.

Fucking insane. He was a monster. And if you ever see him in blue chips that movie with Nick Nolton, you see what kind of an athlete is. You're skinny. Try to bring up, well dude, it's skinny, but like dunking and moving like where you're like, are you talking about one of the biggest

freaks of all time? Oh dude. That movie took you realize that he was that good. Well because I was so big. Oh athletic he was a little shy. A little shy. A little bit salty. Yeah. He's never done that. He's like, LSU. Watch him dunking. He's like, I'm so free. Yeah, I did. Our, our, our kids pretty beast. Look at him there. Yeah, one place where you silly. He had to have open heart surgery. Oh yeah. Yeah. looking up there. Yeah one place where you silly hit that open heart surgery Penny harder way was in that yeah movies awesome no shack was such a fucking free. There's nobody like them He's unstoppable unstoppable that was the team magic magic

I was a kid that's the coolest team ever ever. I can that was my favorite team. Yeah, that was awesome. When we've grown up, so it was Penny, Darren Scott, they called him 3D. There's the white boy who I loved. The Skiles, was it? Yeah, Skiles, Skiles. I gotta watch that. He turned in a coach.

But Jack was a fuck dude. We could run the court. He's seven foot tall, dunk, beast. I didn't see, I didn't watch college basketball, but I'm watching that movie. Watch blue chis like, this guy is jumping. And this guy's coming to the rear.

He's guys got some. Oh my god. So, you know, I realized my joint was good when I saw space training. Well, but I didn't put that in. I was watching the fight with anybody in front of them. So you watch him and I'm like, cheese is a movie though, yeah.

You gotta watch him play some fucking ball. I knew. How about when I was, did jeez, it's a movie though. You gotta watch him play some fucking ball. I knew. And about when I was, did you collect cards as a kid? Yeah. When I was a kid, I got this, I forget what company it was, but I bought the pack of cards and it was Shaq's work a year. Remember Shaq, I think was number two and Christian Latener was number one.

And those were like the cards, like everyone's trying to get these cards. And our mom didn't have a lot of money and she's like, all right, you guys can get a pack each. And so I was young, dude, was that 90? So I was seven or eight. And I remember I opened the pack, you know, you're going through it, like, come on, come on.

Boom, Christian late, you know, which was like the number one card to have right behind that chiquel and kneel. And my brother had anger management. He's like, you didn't get anything, so he beat me up. And then, later that, not just kind of brother, I was later that night, I was like, you can have one, pick one. I'll keep one, so he beat me up. And then, later that, this kind of brother I was playing with, later that night I was like, you can have one, pick one.

I'll keep one, you keep one. Yeah. Wow. Who do you take? Shaq, because he's good pick. Yeah. I was like, good luck with that. I'll take Christian or Lately loser.

Is that the dude that hated that duke? Yeah. Yeah, everyone like playing. Great player in college. Yeah, he's awesome. He's got a bad rap. Oh, got it. Yeah.

People just hated him. Yeah. People hate duke. Because he was just good. Mm, he had this arrogance bad rap. Oh, got it. Yeah, people just hated him. Yeah, people hate Duke. Cause he was just good. Mm, he had this arrogance about him. Like he, oh, he was a dickhead. Yeah, he's a bit of an ass. Yeah, he looked like. He looks like that.

There's a great 30 for the thing that he, oh, he looked like. Dude's in the NBA, you're like, fuck this guy. Yeah, but if you look back at him, it's great. He wasn't bad in the NBA. Did they hate Reddit? Yeah. Yeah, first, yeah. And they're my team, he's kind of like, he's

solid. He's solid. Yeah. Oh, wait, that one kid Grayson. Alan. Is he from Duke? Yes. Oh, okay. Who was that kid? Who was that guy? There was this show where they were talking about. He was kind of not a good NBA player. White dude. He was not good. I mean, he was that they were always talking about. But he played for like nine, 10 years or whatever. And they're all talking about how much he sucked and he goes, here's the thing, I do suck, but not compared to you.

And then he called out, he even- Oh, he called out about Scalabrini, the Reddit. Whoever was, he called out all the, all the, that one. Oh, that kid called them out. And then he played, he went, he played, he won a one. D1 player, he was, he was, he was, he had all over.

He smoked in D1 players, do whatever you want. It really happened in fighting too, because of this celebrity boxing and the Logan Paul stuff, where average Joe's are like, I like guys not that fucking tough. Like real fighter. Like machine gun Kelly with Conner, it's like, did you have any idea what would happen?

So they can get us in. Yeah, they don't get like a fighter, or not fight, but. It's a car-gaming game. Yeah, he's like six, five, whatever, like talented musician, but it's like the lines are blurred, but it's like with NBA, it's even more blurred. Like have you ever, ever seen an NBA player like in the gym like playing regular pickup basketball?

Yeah, like like Bert, you're not a Bert man. Yeah, Nick Anderson. Was it Nick Anderson? I forget his name. Got to play for the nuggets. Yeah, play for the nuggets. I'm not having a cup of beer. Me too. Yeah, he's awesome. Good buddy. Yeah. So when he was playing for Denver, he was like, oh, let's go play a pickup at Greenwood Athletic Club, which was like my home club. So me and my brother grew up there. And I was like, I guess I was talking

my brother. I'm like, I guess we just saw him like all you some change. He's just gonna dunk on everybody. We're gonna dominate. Yeah. And my brother's like, yeah, so I'll stay like we had a whole plan. I was like, I just like throwing balls, I guess we just throw him like alley oops and shit, he's just gonna dunk on everybody and we're gonna dominate. And my brother's like, yeah, so off stage, we had a whole plan. I was like, I just throw him balls and I was like, fucking dunk on everybody. It's gonna be lit, it's fun. Dude, he was like, what? No, just give me the ball. He didn't miss a single shot. Yeah.

Like he was shooting like Steph Curry and you're like, oh my god. No, like we didn't make it take it. Yeah, yeah. Nobody else touched the ball. He was literally just like, you're in the NBA. Swacked, yeah. Swacked, like for sure, just don't get dude.

God. And then kids would try to like shoot over and we'd just like, what the fuck? And just, swacked. I mean, now, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to fight Conor McGregor if you're machine gun Kelly, I'd be a very bad teacher.

But the lines are blurred. Was he trying to, was he getting up in his team was But they they said it all came from a they might be a publicity start But be you I guess Connor DMed his girl back in the day And so I guess machine Kelly because he wanted picture and machine gun Kelly was like I get the fuck out here And then Connor just went off oh shit. I can't believe somebody make it a big odds. They made odds already. Yeah. It can't be real. Those are yeah, those actual real fucking places. There should be zero. I know exactly that's where it should be. Yeah, bad situation. It's just you don't like everybody should

play a NBA player in a pickup game just to see where you fit. Yeah. Yeah. Or just roll like one. I know I know I can say be like oh Connor's not a black belt. Very cool. Roll with comic Gregor. I mean how it goes for you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead and see what happens. I know he's not fucking.

He's a hundred thousand. He's a hundred thousand or. Damien Mayant just roll with him. Yeah, I was pretty. Yeah, and then you want to then you want to fight the guy and win what stand up? Yeah, it's nuts. Actually, this is another one. Go try if you're a tough guy and you've done some fighting.

You can say downhill. Go try to hit. Yeah. Yeah yeah we put a compilation of downhill skiing I genuinely I watch these they're fucking why they get so fucked up oh my god no but I was saying try just try touching try hitting putting your glove on a guy who can actually box who knows knows how to move out of the world. Get. But now you talk about Conor Gregor, literally one of the best striking of it. He does this thing in our entire life.

And you can kill him, you put your guitar, and you have jewels on your jaw. Listen, you're gonna hit him? No, no, no. It's not. Bad idea. But who knows, maybe machine gun Kelly was like chilling just to psych up. Yeah, I'm fuck you, you piece of shit. Yeah, man, yeah.

Well, he did it in Conor through a beer at home. Okay, machine gun Kelly does look like he's going like this. Yeah. Yeah, it would be stubborn. He's a good fucking counter. He's got a good friend. He's got a good friend. He's got a good friend.

He's got a good friend. He's got a good friend. Like, Philly Crafts can be rough. Yeah. Like, you're the funny guy at the Family Barbecue. Very cool. Go do ailly crowd sure on a Friday night When they've been working all day and drinking or go to Pittsburgh with blue collar and they've been drinking an all day Yeah, you got to get the slogan. You should say that. No, do that. Yeah, let me not go stand up

It's the one thing that everyone thinks they can do. Oh, everybody that's like everybody's pretty funny Yeah, but right give it a shot I need to say that about we here and I went to a club one time and there were these alt comics and all due respect, there were some really funny alt comics. But these guys were, it was when it first came, started coming out where they were doing like that, esoteric stuff, that kind of kind of making of, and Thai funny, but when, you know,

then they realized they killed some, and Rogan was like, this Rogan was watching this guy, you know, Rogan, he's just like, this is fucking death. This is death. And so when he was younger, he just like, this is fucking death. This is just death. And so when he was younger, he was like, whatever you think is aggro, double it. Like he just did not give a fuck.

You think now the weed chills him out? But before that? Never smoked weed. No, no, he was just, he was like your grandpa's CT. All gone out of the time. You're not a wha- He said that he goes, you bring that shit to Philly, you bring that shit to Jersey to Boston, Pittsburgh where people work for a living, and they're like, you're not a white. He said that he goes, you bring that shit to Philly, you bring that shit to Jersey to Boston,

Pittsburgh where people work for a living, and they're like, I gotta be in a factory at fucking six in the morning. Make me laugh, you fucking asshole. I spent money on fucking it. What is this, yeah, yeah, what is this that you're doing here? Yeah.

Yeah, that's, I mean, that's how it starts though, with standup, everybody that, like, you think you're funny, I'll give it a shot. I mean, that's what I did. Yeah. And I got up there and I black funny. I'll give it a shot. I mean, that's what I did. Yeah. And I got up there and I blacked out. No, it's sober. You know what I remember you were so terrified.

I was sober and I was holding the mic like that. Was it just an open mic? At my belly button. Was it an open mic? Yeah. It's just an open mic. In Harrisburg. You know who can get away with County zone?

You know who can get away with shit? Like we would just do weird shit with Nick Schwarzen. Nick even when he was young, he's super young. Like that's like, you know the ham sandwich thing, Nick one time in my own class, and Nick is doing stand-up, and it's not, he's trying weird shit, and it's at the comic strip in New York, and this is like fucking 2000 or earlier, whatever.

And he's like, he's like, and nothing's not really working, he's like, hey guys, I apologize, I hate a lot of turkey before this, and turkey makes you super tired, so I don't feel like I Sorry, go so I'm watching the South fucking already dying and he can tell another joke and I'd be like yeah And then people would laugh he go fucking turkey And he kept doubling down that turkey. By the end of it, I was fucking fucking still laughing.

That's like Theo, hope, you know, at the store wherever when he opened for me in Nashville, he's like, I just don't feel fucking funny man trying to shit. And he goes out there and I'm like, yeah, man. Like, cousin got bid in LA. He got bid, man. I get it by gay guy.

And he's like, yeah, what do you say, Sid? No, but fair facts. Sid me in the past. Filipino guy with big quads. Yeah, no, you just waiting. So we'll see. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck?

It's so fucking funny. It's so funny, man. It's so funny. He's so unique. Did you know Rogan at all before he did the podcast? No, I just hung out with him that week leading up to it. Because you were in Austin. Doing shows.

At... I recorded my special. In up, did you record? Before I did Rogan. Where did you record the special? In Austin, at the Creek. Oh Creek, that's Creek in the Creek. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you done the Vulcan yet? I did. It's good. You guys slip not currently? Yeah, yeah. There's like, Madeline people standing up. Have you done Vulcan yet? No. It's like metal and people standing up. Have you done a boat in yet? It's good, it's good.

It's good. If you walked in there and saw that room, you'd be like, this is going to be a fucking disaster. It's a rock room. It's like a fountain. It's made for music. It's a music for like, tall ceiling. So it's like, literally that was my job.

I was like, I was like, I feel like I'm in a fucking slipknot concert. There's like metal everywhere. That's tough. But it works. And then people are standing and there's couches. Yeah. And then after we were performing, it turns in like a rave show, like goes on. Yeah, like people are waiting to get in the door

to fucking do things and like each other's ass. Yeah, it's weird. Wow. Yeah. But yeah, they've, it's a good club though. They did make it good. Like it should have been, what about what it should have been? It shouldn't have worked.

So the Creek and the Cave is, what is that? Is that a comedy club? Yeah, it was in New York. What about what it shouldn't have worked? So the Creek and the Cave is, what is that? Is that a comedy club? Yeah, it was in New York. And they moved it to Austin. So now Austin's gonna open Cap City's, Rogan has a place on the Creek and the Cave. There's a lot of venues now. Yeah.

Also be a good hub. Oh yeah. Did you ever think about moving during this whole COVID-19? No, I just moved to New York. And like, I just got in at the seller. So there's no reason to. I'm going to stay at the seller. Yeah, the seller is really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's dude.

It's so good. I just did that buffalo with Doug David off and the stand, by the way. That's how it stands out. That stands out too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's around. It's it's great. And it's just like, it's hard to bomb. Did you get past?

There you are. Did you get past on the first try? First try. I had a weird way of getting past, because I auditioned like, kind of before COVID, and then COVID happened. Well, I actually auditioned like, before SNL a little bit, and then I got canceled. And they're like, mm.

And then COVID happened. So there was like, really no window for me to even audition. And then they just called and were like, sent us your avails. Fuck, kind of out of nowhere. You've probably talked about this before. Who called you to tell you you weren't on SNL? Lauren.

And like a man, like a lady and then Lauren. Like a lady that represents her at like, anytime you talk to Lauren, somebody would call and be like, Lauren Michaels is on the line. Was he cool? I like Lauren a lot. Yeah, I still do. Was it your, again I'm sure you've talked about this.

It's fine. Have, was it your dream to do Silent Life? Like was that the more? Maybe in like seventh grade. When it was like that. But then once I started doing Santa, I was like this is, yeah. I knew I figured I would never be on SNL.

Like ever, because I've seen it lately, and I know what I do. Yeah. You know. Yeah, it's very, yeah. You're saying it's a blessing in disguise that all this happened? Sure. You are serious what else I have. What else you gonna do though?

You know what I'm saying? Like you could sulk on it and get out of the house. Of course, that's, yeah, what could you do? Should I quit? But I, but I gotta be honest, it's one of the reasons I think a lot of people have rallied around because it was like, how the fuck? We've all said stupid shit.

Yeah. But there's also like, I think if I would have got us, and I think I could have done very well on it. Agreed. You had a good career that way. 100%. And now that I got canceled from it or however you want to say it, I think that is also a good opportunity.

So I would say I would rather it have happened than not at all. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, like if I just never got SNL, never got SNL. Either way, I think it's- It's put you on the other side.

Yeah, for sure. Press. Yeah, and I think, yeah, I'm comfortable having eyes on me with my, what I'm creating. You're creating your- Like I'm not afraid to, I'm not worried about a spotlight on what I make. No, but that makes sense.

No, it makes sense, but I- If I sucked and got canceled, that would be a huge problem. Well, you wanna have a career. Yeah, that would be a major issue. But I think too, it's like, you know, the fans that rallied around you and then they brought all this attention to you. Those are the people that fuck with you.

Like those are actual fans instead of like their life. They're not all Shane Gillis fans. Sure. Now you're building a real fan base. There's a downside there's a down there. You're also playing like when you go on the road now, you're playing home games. Sure. It's your fans.

You can fuck around like you're special. You know, if you're just a live fan you turn into listen You're on there and you turn into your special like Jesus Christ. You went on the pain. Yeah, it is fans are like fuck Yeah, that would have been fun. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? But it was all it's also there is a downside that like immediately when you get canceled There are a lot of people that you don't want Yeah, oh yeah, I don't have guys coming up to me after shows and like screaming slurs Yeah, I'd be like hell yeah, I hell yeah, I don't think you get it Thank you

I think you're gonna do that. I think people yeah, I think people row it around you because Most people are not comfortable and shouldn't be with the idea that you said something in passing in a certain context in passing in a certain context, like in a conversation, and your whole life should not be erased for that. Your opportunity, which is a huge one in SNL, which very few people get, shouldn't be taken away. And that is the world we live in now.

And I think everyone would agree, including myself, that it wasn't great. My one I said, but yeah, I think the punishment didn't really match the crime. Oh, agree, I'm sorry. And that's when everyone was like, yeah, but yeah, I think the punishment didn't really match the crime Oh, great. I was like all right, maybe chill But and I also think the other yeah, so I think that's like counter to council culture It's like all right, he said something should have said he lost his job And I think most humans like nothing right man. Well cuz you know they're too near to you Right, and the other thing that's really important to realize is that when you do cancel somebody look when they do that to you

You're not making the world more equitable. You're actually not doing anything It's not as though now you're making the world more fair and more equal You're just you're just kind of your suppressing form of the You're suppressing. It makes it worse. Yeah, I think the only real way to beat Whatever this is the cancel culture thing is to just keep going. Like don't let it consume you. Like if I got canceled and then spent the next two years being like fuck cancel culture.

Can't do that. And then stop riding. And I'm not doing that. And I'm not doing that. That's how you can go down. I tell you you get cancel. Yeah, agree. You let the cancel.

You keep riding. I think you really, and the special is kind of like, yeah, definitely not canceled. You know what I'm saying? Although anybody could have put a YouTube special out. You can't do it. You keep running. I think you really, it's in the specials kind of like, yeah, definitely not canceled. You don't understand? Yeah. Although anybody could have put a YouTube special on it. I forgot about the stuff.

Anybody can put it in. But it's doing good as yours. But it being good and other people co-sign it and be like, hey, watch this fucking special man. That's the difference. Yeah. And I think you put on YouTube and then other comics in the space, everyone go,

dude, this thing's fucking good. And I can send a link to my dad or to my brother. The group, I was like, here's the special. If it's on Netflix or it's on, you know, wherever, show time, I can't send you a fucking link. Where if you can clip it up and I can send you a clip, like in this day and age that we're in, like clips or what sell tickets.

Five percent. Like you're hour, like we know for a fact age that we're in, like clips or what sell tickets. Five percent. Like, you're hour, like we know for a fact, even on Netflix, what's Eddie Murphy or Joe Rogan, people saw watching on the 28 minutes. Yeah. 28, we're still 28 minutes. So we're still doing hours, which is whatever. But if you have a clip, I'm gonna say that.

And if you do, like I was talking to Chipel on the way, I was like, just do, just put a youth, like if you have 45 or a, you don't even have to do an hour. Like mine's like 48. You don't, it doesn't have to be an hour. You can put out 30 minutes. Like I was thinking in a year, just put out another half hour, or something.

Yeah, I'm talking about whatever you want. Whatever you want. Put out 20 minutes. Yep. Yeah. You learn to do whatever you want. Yeah. The day and age of, you know, HBO and showtime being like,

well, only these five guys get specials this year. It's like, why are you waiting on this, baby? Yeah. Let's put it out. If it's good, put it out. If you write faster, if you have a lot to say, you can just put it out. Yeah, I don't.

I got about four minutes right now. It's time. It's time. I got so much time. It's got so much time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's the scariest thing.

You got a hot one. I was going to ask you that all. I was like, oh, so you probably got another hour. No. Did you got under your belt? Did you call your special? It's just live and awesome. Yeah.

Hell yeah. I couldn't, I couldn't. And it doesn't matter. Yeah. Everybody was like, you should name it something else. I can't. Just live. I like the drink.

How you took the drink. Oh, yeah. I like that. Somebody made that. Somebody made that. Should I? I was solid. I was drunk and retweeted it. I, yeah, I would have never promoted it.

Who's showing it? I didn't promote it at all. My friend, John McKeever, and a guy, Homeless Pimp. I know, Homeless Pimp. Yeah, that's my guy. I love Homeless Pimp. Yeah, he's awesome. Homeless Pimp.

That's amazing. Yeah, that was good. It was just a friend. Chris, he's very about Homeless Pimp. So, Homeless Pimp is Chris, he's on the road with him. He shoots everything, produces podcasts. And Chris, you know, he has a smoke show wife and she's pregnant and she has a smoked show friend.

And she's like, you gotta hook me up with homeless pimps. And Chrissy's like, oh, you sure? Psych the fuck. Yeah, man, that guy, like he's my exact type I'm looking for. And Chris is like, Chris, he's like, okay, well, Texas right now, and then he texts me, he goes, yeah, he's into it. So, let me know what you want to do.

And she's like, oh, I can't wait. And then she sent a picture of me. She thought I was the homeless pin. Oh, she did. Chris, like, that's not the homeless pin. Gosh, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah. Jesus Christ. No. Oh, Jesus Christ. No, wrong guy.

Wrong guy. The homeless pin is great. Who's that guy? Yeah, homeless pin is a beast. Who's that? Who is that? He's a model that I follow him, Jen? It's tattoos.

I'm gonna follow him. You guys love dudes. Dude, we do. I love that. No, he's a gay man. You guys love strong men. Yeah, look at that guy. Look at that guy. Who the fuck, doesn't like that guy.

Me. This guy seems awful. No, dude. I'm gonna follow him. Yeah, I wouldn't follow. I just, I don't mean the dispersion. Hey, you know what? But once you've seen it once, you've seen who is Elijah,

I'm all over. Is it Bartelona? Is he originally from Barcelona? He's from Barcelona. And Adi. He's a male model. He's a male model. Yeah, he's a model. He was like a skinny dude at first. And he a male model. He's a model. Yeah, he's a model.

He was like a skinny dude at first and he started to get jacked. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. There you go. Who else used your cough dude? Besides, uh, it's where you fall male model though, no? I follow K-pop stars and everything.

K-pop makes sense. You're in the music. Male model? I want to get tattoos. He likes his tattoos. You know what? I mean, I got to know exactly what I want to get a tattoo. He likes his tattoo. You know what? I mean, I got to know exactly what I want. Do you have any tattoos?

No point. Stickers won, you're fine. You're not going to turn into that. The tattoos are going to make you like that. Let me see how about this. How about we, I did shows in Dublin. Yeah. I was like, sold all these shows out.

That one. So we want to get a tattoo to remember, like me, my brother's my tormentor, so we want to get tattoos in Dublin. Yeah. So we go to this tattoo tattoo to remember, like me, my brother's my tour manager, so we want to get tattoos in Dublin. Yeah. So we go to this tattoo store in Dublin, I asked for somebody on Instagram this guy's like, come down here man right down the street, legit tattoo artist. So we go down there and he's like, the tattoo artist is like, all right, I'm not doing any fucking lucky charms.

I'm not doing any for leaf clover's. That's not the fuck we do here. And I was like, okay, that was all right. That's kind of all of it. Okay, he's like, once you get a horseshoe, it's for good luck. We're like, oh cool, Chins never had a tattoo. Chins goes, put it on my, I want on my neck.

And the guy's like, no, I'm not getting your first tattoo on your fucking neck. No. Chins like, I want it right on my fucking neck. And the guy's like, no, I'm not doing your neck, man. Good girl. Good girl. Great girl.

I honestly really wanted it, especially at that time. So you said one memory for being an Iron first time. Sure. Huge shows was a good time. A great memory, especially at that time. So you said one memory for being an Ireland first time. Huge shows was a good time. A great memory, yeah. Next time. I love Net tattoo. Good time. Now that I have one, he'll probably give me a Net tattoo.

Because I had no tattoos at all. That's why he was like, I can't get it. I think that guy's Nipples Repairstool by the way. That guy goes all the way. That guy goes all the way. That guy goes all the way. That guy goes all the way. Well, that tattoo job, I mean, the whole thing was very good.

That guy Chris would be posting. No, this is homeless Pimps, but he doesn a tongue piercing as well. Well, that tattoo job, I mean, that whole thing was very good. God, Chris, it'd be poster. No, this is homeless pimps, but he doesn't put himself out there? No. That's cool. Go to his tagged photos, maybe he'll have a couple. What do you go there? Right there.

Yeah. Nope. We have no idea what homeless pimps looks like. He has a big old beard, glasses, there he is. Yeah, he looks like mankind. He looks like mankind. That's him. Big totally.

Big totally, like, McFully. Holy shit. That's what I told you. I know, dude, love. Yeah. I was like, you know, you're gonna go get Chris Foley, right? Yeah. He's like, who I'm like, fucking the sock guy mankind?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you, which is the homeless thing. On the last guy. The glasses with the yellow glasses. And I think he struggles with his pronouns, is that right? Yeah. He's like, in the third round with his pronouns. Is he? glasses and I think he struggles with pronouns, is that right? Yeah He's like in the third round with his pronouns. Is he yeah, I think so really I think it goes both ways non-binary He didn't bring it up to me I don't know how many people can find it. Yeah, they're pronouns.

Shane's a guy. I don't think he's a guy. That guy I understand. I'm just a dude. Shane look pretty open-minded. You're like, what? Yeah, we were talking about that. I think so.

I might be wrong, but I think so. That's a tough thing to put out. That's a strong guy. Let's make sure that's true. It's a strong guy. You know, a strong beer for a guy who, I mean, that's pretty masculine and kind of look from what I can tell.

I'm pretty sure he's just, like I call that guy a dude. Wee, yeah, he's a dude. He's just a dude for a guy who, I mean, that's pretty masculine and kind of look from what I can tell. I'm pretty sure he's just, like I call that a guy, that a guy I do. Yeah, he's a dude, dude. Dude's a dude for a queen. He says, dude is a get's, yeah. What were we talking about, sir? I guess this glasses might be a little feminine,

I don't know. Just tell I look like someone who they want to cancel. Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely a guy they see. They're like, yeah. You know, this is definitely a good looking kid. Nobody gives him enough credit. Oh, he gets credit.

He gets credit. Oh, he gets. Yeah, he's a good looking guy. Nobody gives him enough credit. Oh, he gets credit. He gets credit. Oh, he does. Yeah, he's a good looking guy. Which takes him, Chris. Hey, almost 10th is by, right? Oh, pie is different than struggling with a pronoun, so. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. There's again. No glasses. Chris is D1 basketball player. I doubt it. D3. Yeah, D3. It's a sturdy kid. It's a big story. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm serious. You're gonna tear it down. Yes. That's your race. That's the best thing. That's the best thing.

Why are you eating? What? I tune what he got for Kurt and Vince, dude. Alrighty. Summer cats. I'll pull it up right now. You're really fast. Go ahead, man. Of course. Alright, well before I start, I hope you don't mind me asking, but when you're on Rogan, I say on Rogan, and then you said a joke, and it just flew by him,

and you guys stared each other. That was so fun. That was so great. It was a big swing. I told him a story. It wasn't like the best joke. It wasn't a lore micro story. Yeah, I was just telling him a story

how like when I was getting fired, I was like, I'll just go on Rogan and be bigger. But of course I was on Rogan for two years. It was just funny, I said it to him. He had some like how it went down with like Lauren Michaels and he's like, yeah, Lauren was like, you know, we have to get off Saturday live and he goes, all right, cool, I'm sure you're going to fucking Rogan.

Pause, pause, pause, pause. Yeah, so. Maybe you guys, I was like, I was like, I'll just go on Rogan. Yeah. And then he goes, what? I was like, nothing, I go and rogue it. And then he goes, what? That was like, nothing, I thought it was funny. Yeah, he pointed out.

There's nothing wrong with that. But it wasn't like, in his defense, there wasn't like a clear joke. And I think he might have interpreted it as me being like, where were you? You know what I mean? I think he might have not reached out. Because the joke was that I was like arrogant that I was like like oh fine

I'll just do a move on do Rogan yeah, that's how I took that was the joke It was like I would never be like where the fuck should you think you went yeah No, all right Thank God because it's for real for the next five minutes, I was just in my head like, what the hell was that? Like this is crazy. And then, I think we're right back up. I was like, hold on, we gotta stop. Whoever's watching this, just rewind that and watch my face.

Like I brought it up, thankfully. Yeah, you gotta bring it up. I was like, you gotta see what it just had. You can literally see my face melt. Yeah, I thought it was my... I didn't like this teeth showing small. Yeah. Yeah, I think that teeth sometimes.

And it'll just sit there and so on. And he didn't, you know, he's do it. He does that podcast constantly. So he's not nervous. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. But for me, it's like, Home field form.

This is it. Yeah. I was just saying that we're not recording, right? Yeah, we are. Oh, we don't have to. I don't care, we can record. Okay. But it was like, there were two moments in comedy

where I was like, oh shit, the one was the SNL, like walking into audition and seeing that stage. Oh, great. Because like leading up to it was like, I don't give a fuck, who cares? I'm not going to get it. I'm not nervous at all. And then you walk in and see the main stage.

And you're like, this is big. And then for the same thing with Rogan, like I was like, oh, this is a podcast, I do podcasts every day. I've talked about SNL a million times. And then as soon as you walk in that room, I was like, oh shit, this is that room. This is that room. This is that room I've seen a thousand times.

Yeah. And then, yeah, just fucked it. As soon as we started talking about SNL, I was just in my own head. Because the whole time, I was like, it's just good in my bombing. He was like, what are you talking about? Yeah.

Like you're fine. I was like, I think I'm bombing. was like what are you talking about yeah like you're fine yeah you're I suck no it's fun you know the mistake people make is trying to get on there and be funny yeah oh it never goes well oh my god that's why that's why I want to have like you do a bit I was just like we don't oh nothing I just so stupid nothing I'm sorry yeah that's right you interview. I'm sorry. That's why, you know, Theo, I think went on at once, you know, Theo fucks around, and I just lot of bits and wrote,

it's just like not hitting. Dude, that's kind of, and then Theo calls me and goes, man, I go, how do you do this? Good, man, but sometimes he's just not down to play. I'm like, no, dude, and he's like, and then, and then also, bro, that's the longest

I've ever talked to somebody in my life. Yeah. He was like, that's a real thing. He was, I even talked to my mom for three hours. That's it for real thing. When was the last time you talked to anybody for three hours? That's a long fucking time, right? Even on a evening of the car.

He was a car, you were five times a week here. And I do it with the top scientists, Elon, like genius people. Oh yeah. So when he comments kiddin' there, he's like, oh fuck, yeah, it's not as fun. Were you guys for three hours? Yeah. Damn.

And then you know it's a bad show if it's only like an hour and 40. True. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. So when I got done, I was like, I think I'm out of it, but I think I sucked. Of course, the whole, like,

then we went out to eat and we're hanging out and I'm like, did I fucking, I was just, I must've been so fucking I to him like that suck. I fucking blew it. Didn't I? Yeah, and then he was like you're fine. No, it's great. Yeah, it was great and Well, then I did it then when it came out it was like three hours or whatever and someone was like, oh, it must have been good If it's if it's under like depending what if it's under three. Yeah, yeah It's only it's over like two and a half. You're good. But if it's under that, it's like, oh, you're out of shit talking about it.

Yeah. He's one of those. But he's like, he's like our version of Johnny Carson. Yeah. And you go on there, especially before, I'm not saying Spotify's not like that, but it's not as big, but, you know, when you go on there, it was,

he literally like, it was your audition for like, on the tonight. Sure. Like, you would, you could build a career off of that, man. I never thought of it that way. Oh, yeah. I never did either. Now, in ninth, years and years later,

like some of the fight companions, we'd bullshit, I do fight companion now, and it's more fight talk, but when you meet Eddie and Brogdon and Dood, we talk about octopus for an hour. Yeah. We'd have like seven million views. I never even knew. I was like, who the fuck would watch Eddie rant on conspiracies for an hour. We have like 7 million views. I never even know the crew the fuck would watch Eddie rant on

Conspiracies for an hour while you're shouting at it. We get all drunk and shouted at Eddie. That's great We got shot on most things. Yeah Yeah, yeah, the only time man is a really special time. Yeah, I got I'm alright to the letterman in 1999 I saw his mug. I was backstage and somebody said Somebody made say saying you know Beatles performed on the stage. Oh, it's all great. I went out of getcha That got me and I went and then I saw Letterman's mug and I watched him so much and I was doing it triggered you it triggered me And I went and I got fucking almost debilitated. I was so fucking nervous.

Yeah, what I mean? It's 4 1,5 minutes which is even worse. If you have like an hour, you can. Yeah, 4 1,5 you have to hit. You gotta get your beak wet. Dude, and back then I was like, you're like, I'm comfortable. Hit the camera there, then turn and do this one if you can

and then you're like, fuck. I bet the only time I've ever felt that in stand-up is, I grew up, my mom was the biggest Robin Williams fan. She loved Robin Williams. And I was playing cobs for the first time, not with you by myself. And my mom texted me a picture that I drew of Robin Williams.

And she's like, you know, that was Robin Williams home club. Literally like 20 minutes before I went to the stage. Oh, sweet though. And then I was like, oh fuck, Robin Williams is here. I didn't think about it. You wouldn't do a club, you're just going, going, going. And then when he stopped smell the roses, and I talked to the GM, like, this was Robin Williams club, you're just going, going, going. And then when he stopped smell the roses and I talked to the gym like, this was Rob Williams, who was a cabin, he's here in punchline.

Like, this was his shit. He like helped us so many times. I'm like, he's on that stage. And he's like, yeah, dude. I was like, oh, no doubt. I call my mom. I was crying, yeah. Yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah. That's so weird. Yeah, there's a couple of the seller. That was one. Like walking down those steps for the first time, I did, yeah, the first time I did the seller, I was like, oh shit.

I never had any reference for any comics or any comedy. I never had a comic story. I never had one. You were an actor. I was an actor and I didn't even have, I had reference for actors. I never had any reference for comics. I just didn't, to me, it was never the mystery

that say acting was or writing. Like, if I met certain people or sports, like, if, you know, certain guys who were just like, amazing athletes, they were just a mystery to me. I was like, you know, every, you know, before, when the comic store was the store, like, you know, obviously now they're going through the transition, but when it was the store,

no matter what, you know, I do it a million times. No matter what, I have to hype myself up in the car. Just like, no, it's a kind, and remember I came up with a, you were coming up, you were all too huge. You were all too huge. You were all too huge. You were all too wedged between,

the biggest comics in the world. Oh, I'd be like, who, who, who, who, who, who am I going tonight? Yeah, it's crazy. They'd be like, oh, you're between joy deas and crystallia, like, yeah. And then there's Sebastian, and Bill Burr, and fashion billbur and rogan that was a lot yeah it's crazy

Tuesday night to a Tuesday night to the night to pop in night that was a great yes i can't nothing better yeah that's a good it's not it's nice it helps like i i did uh... they find uh... like i was i walked into the cellar in the

Louis was just standing the hall and they were like I was like oh fuck he's bumping me and he was well of course he was nice about it was like you don't care and I was like no and I was like but now I got to fucking follow you yeah that sucks and he's like no it's good he's like everybody in that room is gonna be like oh our nights made now we're all happy so like once they see like the best it's actually It's got their money's worth they're still they're all excited. They're happy and he was like just don't mention it It's like don't go on because he used to do that with like sign felt like he'd have to follow sign felt and then he would go on a Sage when you mention it how am I gonna follow sign fell and the whole crowd would be like yeah

How are you gonna do it? It's a great. No, I was somebody never mentioned it. I wish somebody gave it I wish I had that note because I remember I Four years ago I had to fall Neil Brennan as when a special came out, and he did some crazy bit, was like, his vocabularies, like so much better mine, he's such smart, doing the rope and the bell, and he like brought the house down,

and I acknowledged it. I wanna say I acknowledged it, and I ate shit. Oh my God, why would I do that? That was incredible, right? I would have never thought about it. I thought, God, why would I do that? That was incredible, right? I did not do that. I would have never thought about it. I wish you would have gave me that note. But in my mind, I was like, all dressed it

because they know I'm not Neil Brennan. So I'm gonna dress it just so the elephants out of the room, but they're like, what the, you have to come here. You better be good. I've had to follow you. If you're here, you better be good. I've had to follow literally everybody

from Chris Rock to you, you know. But I never obviously thought you know, but I never obviously thought about it, but I part of it's because I just believe I was, you know, I'm fine. You have to. Yeah, but you have to. I can follow Burr one time on Rogen and friends. Yeah, that's good.

Because Burr wanted to go up early and I was like, oh, am I gonna go like before him and then Burr go up but then he was just like, it is gonna go posting, Burr, Lacey, and then Rogan and I was like, all right, holy shit. You're doing it. You know what I mean? You only done my average entry.

That's like, yeah, but you need that. That's like, when Navy SEALS put on more equipment. That's like you're doing. The only time I ever mentioned anything was when I was doing Gotham, I was headlining Gotham and Seinfeld came in and asked me if he could, you know, to get up and do some stuff before me, like basically to treat,

because he was doing Letterman or something, or I mean, or he was doing Lano. And I was like, of course, you know, of course. And he gets up and does this thing. And the only thing I said was after he got off, I, they brought me on, and all I said was I was like, well, they asked me who I wanted to have feature for me and you guys.

You guys were all fucking out of it. Yeah, I remember the first time ever at headlight at the commy store was the Belly Room and I was like, man, why are they asking me like a two day notice? I'm like, I can get me a little heads up. But like, no, just run your whatever hour in the Belly Room like, fuck man, that's a big deal. And so I was like, hell yeah, I'm like, I can get me a little heads up. But like, no, just run your whatever hour in the, in the belly room, like, fuck man, that's a big deal.

And so I was like, hell yeah, I'm in. So I'm like, why would they call me? I've read, who canceled? And it was game seven of the Dodgers that night. So nobody's showing up. And there's probably seven people in the crowd. I'm in the fuck up. Dude, seven people in the crowd, I'm in the back.

I felt like such a loser. I'm like, oh, the store's never gonna fight me back, man. I'm such a fucking loser. And Dave Chappelle walks in the back and goes, what's up, young man? I'm like, what's up, Dave Chappelle? It was your headline tonight, I go, yeah, it goes, you mind if I get on before?

I was like, I mean. I don't really rather you did. No, I was like, no, I went to whatever you want to do. Talk about my mouth. My mouth was so dry. My mouth was so dry. I, I went to whatever you want to do. Talk about my mouth. My mouth was so dry. I was not going, whatever you want to do, dude. Dude, he went out there, he did two hours. Yeah, I'll do that.

Then I went on at round, probably 130, when there's three people in the game. I was just like, I don't know. Yeah. And then the bummer was there's other comics on before me and Dave. And in the back, I was like, oh, I'm gonna pick his brain on comedy. And like, oh, I'm gonna bring up all this shit.

And all he wanted to talk about was fighting. Anybody who knows me knows like fucking hate that. And that's it's like, I'll talk to him with Rogue and something like that. But it's just general questions about fighting. I'm like, fuck dude. And I could not get a word in about comedy. Well, he beat you to the punch

because I bet he hates talking about you. We're gonna be like, we're gonna be like, we're gonna be like, we're gonna be like, we're gonna be like, we're gonna be like, we're gonna be like, we're gonna be like, we're gonna be I bet he hates talking about you. We're gonna be like, Crash of Palshoes, I'll ask probably a mother. What is there talking about you? I don't know. And then he was like, you know health. He was like, you think this thing's bad for me?

And it was a vape pen. I was like, it ain't good. He was like, yeah, my doctor's, and he was like, he sounds like your doctor's full of shit. And I was like, why might you mean fucking hell? I don't know, dude.

Whatever you're doing, keep doing it, man. How about that? What would you ask him about comedy? I wouldn't know. I don't know dude. What are you doing keep doing it man? How about that? What would you ask him about comedy? I wouldn't know I don't know just like you know, I don't know Not really much if I was teaching a class on comedy no, I'm not looking for like hey with your joke Dude that but I you know, I don't know I don't want to stop it like a man. Have you done Pittsburgh improv like? Like because when I was there the blue collar like some stuff didn't He had I had a guy come on you get into comedy. Yeah What made you want to be I had a producer come to me and go I have an amazing idea for you

I was like I guess You're gonna teach an online stand class How many people would tune in to hear you talk about comedy you've had all this experience and I was like I There is not a thing I could teach anyone about. You know what I mean? Right and do it. Yeah.

Get up. Get up. What do you mean? What am I going to tell you? Get up. What can you tell me about playing guitar? I don't know. You got to play it for a long time.

But it's also like I was telling Chappelle the ship. They were talking about this comic. Who I was like, he's never going to make it do. He's our, who I was like, he's never gonna make it, dude. He's our friend, I was like, he's never gonna make it. Because he's lazy, and he doesn't write. And I was like, and he's busy chasing girls, and I told Shepal, I'm like, he's never gonna make it. Because if you think about like,

if, because they're like, you're gonna say something, I'm like, if I have to say, hey dude, make sure you get up doing sets, make sure you're doing this, you're already at such a disadvantage, you're never gonna make it. Because I know other comics who are hustling their ass off, who are funnier. Yeah. And nobody has to tell them to do that.

Well, yeah, because you want to do it. Yeah, you have to want it more than anything. Like I was telling, like I made this comparison, like when I was in the UFC and I was like rate number 10 in the world at the time, and there's a lot of young kids in the gym. And Mark Munoz calls me, he was, hey man, these guys, you know, the trend being in the UFC, they wanna be like, can you come down and talk to them?

Cause a lot of them are the missing practice and they're just not dedicated. And I said, Mark, I'm telling you dude, you don't want me to do it. He's like, no, I'm telling you, it really maybe boost the morale. Like go talk to them, I'm telling you, you don't want me to do it, man.

He's like, no, I'm telling you, whatever you do, I co-sign talk to them, like, tell me, you don't want me to do it, man. You're like, no, I'm telling you, whatever you do, I co-sign, go do it. So he gets all the kids there and I go, how many more to go to the UFC? And they raise their hand, I know, cool. Now, Mark tells me you guys have trouble showing up to practice. None of you are gonna make it.

Yeah, yeah. All you that raise your hand, none of you will make it. I promise you, I go, you know how many times I'll go chat to tell me to come to practice. Zero. How many I go? Fucking never. It's to take the keys from me from the gym

because they couldn't get me out of there. And that's what you're dealing with. And there's a hundred other guys just like me that are fucking chomping at the dick to make sure you're sick. You're not gonna make it. You know what, and then I was like, and then I was like, that's my time. That was a real, that was classic.

The steak. Yeah. Wait, you know what's choppy at the pit, right? Yeah. That's what's choppy at the pit, right? That was an accident. No, that would be so funny. No, two may people say choppy at the pit.

True. So I change it up. If you genuinely were like saying that for your whole life, you're like, and I'm chopping a choppy. No one's crafted you at the pit, so funny. I'm like, wait, what? No, no. No, no He's so funny. Wait, what? No, no, no. Oh, man. What? This guy wrote, he said it on a

zoom call. This one year road, this one year I followed wrote, I got shadow band and he spelled it B-A-N-D. Oh, no. It was a duet. Yeah, and I was like shadow band. B-A-N-D. No, you thought like a rubber band. I got a band. And I was like, andane band. No, you thought like a rubber band I was like and he had this whole thing

Good news good news good news. I was like god damn it Make a point in the I stole my friends notebook in Spanish class where kids and he spelled pants like you would dance It's just Spanish, like pants were on there. C-A-S-E-A, I was just like, you're the dumbest fucking kid. Well, a lot of this, I could have is like, CO, you should be O-F instead of could have, just a apostrophe B, you hear a lot of that stuff.

I had comedy's one of those things though, you can do for 10, 15, 20 years. And fool yourself into thinking you have a job because you're, you're, you're at the club. You're at the club. You're around other success. Did you have 50 minutes? And you're working and you're right.

And you had a great 50 minutes. See, did you work that day? And it feels like you get away with that and then dude, you wake up. Then wake up, you're 40. And it's got a gig and fucking Indianapolis at the heel. Or you don't. Or you don't have 17 tickets tickets or you can't tell tickets and you don't have That's what I'm saying. Yeah, then it dries up like fuck. I said that to a couple of young comics who were less than young

Yeah, if you're in your 30s and you just I'm right. I just saw them and they were just good guys and they were just I Know you I remember this you went up to them. You go. What do you do? No, you I remember this you went up to me. Yo, what do you do? What do you do? Just like they're like they're in there because they're around like you know and Daly and like and Frank goes who's what do you do? And I know what they go. They go. We're kind of things. They're going kind of fuck boys. Yeah What are you doing? I don't know. What are you doing? Yeah, they're general. Oh, well we're gonna go to the Lafayette House of Braggers. No, I get that. No, what are you doing in general?

It's an important question. It is a good question. Hang around. No one's ever asked them that so they're like wait, what? They didn't know what was going on. They look like they're looking for those guys need that they need it. And I like them both and I'm like, yeah, hey It's bothering me with your general energy all the time With your whatever energy. The lingers. The lingers. Larry lingers. Get it together, because life is fucking way shorter than you think, and you're gonna wake up, and you're gonna be way too old to make a difference.

You hit him with a wet dip on the face, man. That's funny though. If you did that to me and my friends, when you walked away, I'd be like, fuck it. Got socks. Yeah, we're fine. They count your socks. Got his hands.

Shocks. Yeah, you're fucking fucked up. Yeah, for sure. They count against us. We've got his hands. He's got some shots. Isn't it some shot? What's got in your hand though? Yeah, for sure. Fuck that, man. Yeah, is that like that the seller? Are there lingers like guys like? Yeah, they have a very strict rule about like you can't even sit.

You can't sit at the table unless you're a comic. And then every once in a while somebody will sit down. No way. And people so amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awkward. Which is also awesome. Yeah, you get crushed.

There's literally a placard that says, like, for comedians only. Yeah. Somebody like Bobby Kelly, or they'll just walk right up and just slam it right in front of you while you're sitting there. Oh, yeah.

How's Bobby doing? I love him. He's great. He's so fucking funny. That's a guy, like, if you think about the seller of like dudes that'll crush you, if you're...

Bobby's killing him. Bobby will. So it's Colin Quinn. Yeah, they literally just sit there, and if you come in, they're on you. Yeah, and David tells their authentic. Yeah, the tells always that kind of, it tells always kind of like moving around.

In and out, smoking out front. Yeah, he's wild. He's like... To me, it just raw comic, raw stand up. Pound for me. It might be all- Tell number one. It might be all-

He's up there. It tells up there. I mean his best shit was a stonk shank. I was staying at the same hotel as a tellin'. He's like, you are with athletes, the time with comics, and I saw him. I kinda panicked because we're both outside. I was waiting for my Uber and I could give a coffee. And I look at me and I have cigarettes, huh?

And then just jumped in the Uber. You really? Yeah, dude. I went cigarettes, huh? And fucking darned. I had the same exact story. So I was at the seller. Chris Rock set the table.

It was me, Michelle Wolfe, and Chris Rock. And I made Chris Rock laugh with a joke. Should he, like, a Sandihoek joke or something? Where I was like, whatever. I was like, you know, that didn't happen, right? Like it was just, it was something. Throw it. And so I was like, made Chris Rock laugh.

I'm walking outside. I'm like, dude, this is it. I'm at the seller. And then I walk outside and I tell smoke a cigarette. I was like, you got an extra cigarette? He just walked away. I'm a fucking idiot. Stupid. What have I done? We shall wolf is super sweet. Yeah, she's awesome. He just walked away I am a fucking idiot

Stupid We shall work for super sweet. Yeah, she's awesome. She came up with you guys, too, right? Yeah, well now they would I'm She was older. Yeah, she was she was like so do I never even The monster I saw her I saw her at the commie so I'd never met her. She just she's oh I should give me a hug and a kiss. Yeah, she's great. She's a monster Do you remember she did the White House? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's she goes oh I should give me a hug and a kiss Yeah, she's great. I was like she's a monster. Yeah, do you remember she did the White House? The drugs. She's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's very funny She's one of those like I was a You know when I was a Discrant-old open-miker and Philly. I was like women's socket comedy

And then I saw her kill oh god wrong. Yeah, open for it was like I wasn't even on the fucking show Yeah, she's a fucking. She went up there and just fucking super talented. Mm-hmm. Pretty good, Jim. Alrighty. I just look forward to today, Jim. Thank you.

Appreciate it. How's your net? It's kind of the same. Just never getting better. Not getting better, but... She almost staring at the sun and tweaked his net. No. Something happened.

Sounded rough. No, I can't be the rest of it because it happened like a week later, two weeks later. That's the rest of it. They put me on another thing. I had to like a video visit with a doctor or a nurse and then I'm trying everything to get a freaking MRI. But then what I could do is do a video visit

so then she put me on some sort of quarter-quad steroid. Did help? I'm just, it's a six day process so I'm on the second day right now, so hopefully, it'll get better. So the reason he fucked his neck up is we call these two the short kings. And we had a thing where Brian Chappelle played Bouncers to see if they kicked me out of the bar and the studios of the bar. So neither one of these two could kick me out. No, it was Brian and Chan. Oh, that's right. So Brian these two could kick me I wasn't no it's Brian and Chen oh that's right so Brian and Chen try kick me out I see it happen yeah and then we want to see if the short Kings could kick out Chen

and apparently Chen fucked it probably weren't the same shirt too it's pretty fine you're wearing this was actually a video they fuck up that song and Brendan so afraid the He's guarding his life They're very strong split in the double team Wedg breaker chin chin chin's not letting them get in. It's too giant guys Mark has the biggest wedgie in the world See they broke the light. You didn't know it was gonna happen.

Well, that was pretty much it. When you feel that double team just drop. Just drop? Straight down. All that dead weight. Yeah, they got me out. Oh, they fucked. Really?

Yeah, the short keying got me out. Yeah. They fucking do with ease. You got to drop. I don't know how I did fucking play football Is that like a football thing? Yeah, the drop? Yeah, yeah, oh right there And they got me out pretty fucking for one of the short Kings needs to get to the next level now watch this they do Right here Look at this

He you picked his leg well done. Yeah, once you got my leg up. I was like oh, I have no short kings in the house Yeah, I'm so fucking the house. The comic store last night. It was It was good But the lineup hesitate the lineup could have been better, but it was good Irrigiffin Ari. Yeah, the sky with the Skullar twins. Skullar bros. And then, uh, Jesus true. And then like a bunch of people that I'm into. Right. Uh, I don't think I saved hers. I think I did before. But this, so this kid George, um, he's never been on a plane.

His dad, it was a heroine addict. At it. He's in a wheelchair. I think mom passed away. Brother passed away from overdosing. This kid was a Was he Job? Yeah. Fuck. No, he's like peanut butter, fff. Anyway, so he was 420 pounds.

He's down to 260. All right. So he flew him out yesterday. He's never been on plane. Nice. He flew him out, had him on the show, then he wrestled Stevie and Stevie beat the show, whatever. But he's in a wheelchair.

His dad is. So he takes care of his dad. And he was just, Stevie blew his? No, Stevie we be. Probably leaves him. He had him wrestle someone. They wanted to wrestle. He put a single it on, Stevie put a single it on.

Oh, your story. And they wanted to wrestle. Because that's why he was losing the weight motivation and wrestled Stevie. He's like, I'll beat the shit out Stevie right great prove it so then he came out here and He fucking he got dealt with with Stevie Branson here's on food truck So go back. Oh wait, what the hell?

It's hard past 24 hours. I still have the video that night But yeah, that kid he he's down to 260, was 400 some pounds. Never been on plane. You know, has a shit job. You just feel for the kid, he's like, how's it going? You're making money.

He's like, I make $17 an hour, dude. I'm bawling. That's pretty good. Not bad. Where's he from? He's from Chicago. Oh, Chicago. It's a pretty good money.

But he's never been to the comic story. He looks up the comic story. So I called him. We got him tickets. Front row, right? But he just comes to the story. It wasn't a story. He like looks up the comic store So I called him we got him tickets front row right? But it was a comic story. It wasn't a booth. It was like the table right there and the table is right on the stage We were the first table from row. Yeah, so he's no big and then He I'm flying them from Chicago to San Antonio my shows next week. Oh hell. Yeah, so I'll be with us in the green room Oh, fuck yeah, that's exciting. Yeah, super nice kid. Yeah, really good

Yeah, is George Harris super the super sweet kid and he credits Brendan for changing his life He literally said he changed his life. I don't know. I lose weight and all stuff That's awesome though. Yeah All right, so I'm like real fucking down The green room? It's just starts crying. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I Facebook live because yeah because the venues are requiring people to have you know passports. Yeah, Jim Jim's gone through Jim's wife and he's talked about this has cancer, right? So and and he used the word terminal. I hope she's doing well. I think she is and I love Jim favorite guest We better have so fucking great. I love you, Jim

And I Jim you were it was a great fucking guest You were, it was a great fucking guest. I'm just in my favorite park in my family. We're just saying, bro. But he, I think that he takes it, like for him, it's like, I, I think his kids had an issue with the vaccine, so something's going on with his daughter, she had an issue and she got vaccinated. Oh, and he just wants to be a little bit more patient. Listen, if this is his decision, it's the same decision as a homeboy, what's the guy, Rhett or Tui?

Pat and Oswald, Rhett or Tui. Oh, Pat and Oswald. He's not a big movie, I get kids. I know, I know, I know, I know. Everybody got it. Yeah, you got it. Pat and Oswald, same thing like, he's the main voice of Rhett or Tui, huge movie for a kid.

If you don't want to pick such a bad one, so. But yeah, he's great. I love Pat. But so he cancels shows in Texas and Florida because they weren't requiring vaccine stuff. So he's so liberal. But it's, that's fine. That's his choice.

So for Jim Brewer, that's fine. Like if this how you feel, and it's your show, it's like, but again, that's your thing. Isn't there a huge theory behind Pan Oswald killing his wife? No, not at God's. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think she died of heart attack. I think she was taking bring that shit up, Chin. I just heard Spiracy theory over there. Oh I think it was pills. Yeah, it was Yeah, medication. Yeah, I was taking oh wow she had taken she was taking she was writing and trying to solve that case So she solved it. it. She solved it, she solved the Golden Gate, she was taking, uh,

this stuff to stay awake in it. We're gonna find a kid, Jay. It's not funny. Yeah. It's fair to say that. Didn't he, uh, kill her? God damn it, I hate that stuff. What make you don't know?

You don't feel seated, you know? It's a rumor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because it's a little bit of a wife killer. We're like, hey, man. No. Talk about Ratatouille, rumor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a petal with a wife killer. We're like, hey, man. No.

Talk about Ratatouille, bro. Yeah. That's things to take on a life. We love you, me, Bob. No one believes that. That's not even a rumor. You don't have a podcast called Conspiracy Social Club. And I talk a lot of people, dude.

But that's not even a rumor. I have heard rumors. That's not even a rumor out of Baton Hallswall. Yeah. I've had a number of conspiracy, like big-time conspiracy. Say that? That's not a show. No. I just, there's a number of conspiracy like big time conspiracy say that that show and no I just know that I'm like you started asking where they got their theories from and yeah but yeah that's all he's doing he was just you know it's

pretty serious he was just here he probably got done with a fucking big ball kickball game and the boys were like man how about patting kill it I know like it's it's it's it's really where he's a buddy so I I'm sorry for 20 people right here yeah but we figured it out see yeah we I know like it's it's yeah Very funny so I Me both right here. Yeah, but we figured it out. Yeah, we solved it don't case post see It's pending you're not gonna say it was really open I've never heard that my official that's the problem Let's clear the problem is like what you were doing for us like well I

mean I don't know you never want you to do that you never know look into it you know not with pan like we know that like we know pan he's a good good dude yeah but what is all right moving on Michael Shea is getting sued I guess he has a sketch show now and then one of the one of the things he said or one of the sketches was something called homegirl and then the homegirl homegirl Hotline where you can call this girl to take care of all your issues. Because when you're an uncomfortable situation with other girls, this girl come in and take care of her.

It's not poppin' up enough for some reason. And so you had a sketch show? Sketch. Sketch show. What's it on? Hold on. Here's the HBO, yeah. Here we go.

Sketch show, every sunset in our life. Yeah, it's been done. It ain't. It ain't. Shane Gillis, yeah. Here we go. It's a good show, everybody's on Saturday Live. Yeah, it's a good show. It ain't shangilis good. It's good. Now I'm gonna talk fun. I'm friends with Chad. I know, he's at the seller all the time. He's a man. Yeah, he's funny dude.

But he's in sued now because another girl says that she did this before him and they're taking her idea. So I'll just play this for you first. The stuff's tricky because he has a ride in jail. He's not only a husband and a fair. Okay, it's like the Amy Schumitz. Is there a residence with you now? No.

David, his belongings are. Yeah, great. And can I get a vehicle discretion location? Is truck is at work. It's a black Ford F-150. I can get you the address. Okay, I am dispatching a homegirl right now. I need you to leave the front door unlocked for her.

You can feel free to go back to bed and then we will call you when we are finished. Thank you, homegirl, hotline. You did the right thing by calling us. All right, bye. I got you with the music off on this. But this girl comes out. I can promise you.

I know. I know him. It's parallel thinking. There is zero chance. Michael Chase saw this and was like, I'm gonna do that. Yeah, because that's what he's like. Also comic at his level, it's like this isn't

that original of the idea. And the comic is his level. He knows, let's say he did do that. A, he wouldn't get to the level he's at by stealing stupid shit like that. No, and he's one of, he's really good comic. Like a very very original anyway. I'll show you his part or his one of his sketches for Homegirl.

You're freaking son. Told my freaking phone. His son has it right there. Where? It's in his diaper. My son ain't no damn feet. RAAA! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Well his sketch is way better. I got this.

Oh, what? I'm really sorry about everything. Thanks, homegirl. Oh, come on. That's the only thing. That's the only thing. There, come on. That's the only thing. He's the only thing. He's home girl. That's the only thing. There's the thing that girl on TikTok doing this,

now we're aware of it, right? So she's not gonna win. She's not gonna win. But also the only reason they used home girl on chase shows because they couldn't say lesbian. That's the joke. Joke is, you wanna call a lesbian to beat up a lady. That's the joke. But, but they couldn't do that

Well, it's very different than that. This is way better. Yeah, cuz you're dealing with a real comic But she's getting PR out of it. Yeah, so she's gonna work She's not gonna win no the judge would watch this way. Oh, well, he should just keep doing it cuz it's funny in your side No, the judge would watch us like oh well he should just keep doing it cuz it's funny in your side How do you guys see this video no it's a woman getting kicked down an escalator in Brooklyn and apparently she said that she felt like her Skin was being like ripped apart because escalators have those jagged little metal pieces on it. I don't know It sucks. They got a change in her very dangerous. Now these are your people Shane, so They got a change in our very dangerous now. These are your people Shane so So this dude apparently the guy was walking up the escalator and and what by the girl fast So she was like say excuse me or something like that and then he just kicks her. Yeah, this guy was committed to floor

You can see it here He's passing by her. He's like what? He's passing by her. He's like what? Spartan kick. What the fuck? Straight up Spartan kick. Jesus Christ. Oh, she ate shit. Oh my gosh. I mean those ex-lures are crazy. What happened? They're still trying to find out. Well, she's alright,

but she has like a bunch of lacerations. Straight up Spartan kick. She went down all the way. I feel like mass fuck things up. I would love to take a back. Yeah, that's a sucks. I feel like mass fuck things up. Look at that. That's like. Yeah, that's a sucks. I feel like mass fuck things up. Look at that, okay.

That's like, okay. Oh yeah. That's every doubt. Okay. Long hair, mass. I'll find him with his eyes. They can find him. Nah, it's me tough.

He has a very unique hairstyle that maybe they can get him. Well, somebody's gonna rad on him. Yeah. Yeah. What if he's like, see, somebody in here, like, say, Meatball did that after spreading that horrible line about that. And he kicked a girl down, like, we could tell right away.

Yeah. Like, people that know that kid are gonna know right away. Was that a Nike backpack, you know what I'm saying? A Nike, you say, you're smashing the neck. I'm not even a neck. I'm fine, I'm just kidding. Dude, that's literally everybody in New York. That guy's, he's gonna hold on.

He's gonna hold on. That guy's a piece of shit, is what he is. God, he fucking spurt and kicked that guy back. Yeah, a girl too. I got my fuck you up, dude. Don't fight him on an escrow He's one of now. Yeah, he's on the feet. He's on the feet right there Well, just watch you don't like that. I want to hurt that dude so badly that he has trouble walking for the rest of his life Okay, run. Totally. Dude, you moved into New York and fight crime? I'm not gonna hurt that guy.

Dude, they're defunding the police. Go fucking fight crime. I've done something like that. Mm-hmm. What do you got to do? These two friends that are cops from Miami, or they were former cops now, they did a, their favorite thing was that bad boys movie

and you could check these guys out too. We all love that movie. But they actually look like they could be in a movie. And they're kind of like cops. These are actual cops in the left. These guys are fantastic. Just a But man they got two in the car. Yeah, they're Miami. Yeah They actually put that in their thing hell yeah, these guys are fucking awesome. So what happened? They're running drugs So they they got tricked by the DA

They want undercover got tricked they got tricked by the DEA. They went undercover. They got tricked. They got tricked. Because they wanted to help, you know, yeah, they wanted to help like getting cocaine from one place to another. So they're gonna go in the car with them and just be their bodyguards. They wanted to be like the movies. They wanted to make real money. But that was an inside sting. So they're now. It wasn't real coke. They're going away for a long time. For three years I think, and they're losing their jobs for sure, they're lost being police officers.

But another thing I suck is this guy on the right, I think his name's Flowers. His whole family's cops, his dad, his sister. Oh, it's so embarrassing. So, that's so embarrassing. Yep. It also sucks he's in that ranger outfit. Can you imagine you got to go home to them?

You got to go home and that does not look like he's dead or looking like he fucks around. Oh dude and dad's got to go back to his precinct. Yeah but does he come home? He's like, yeah come on man, you know how much I love bad boys. He's got a big brother beat his ass. He's like, come on, he saw Will Smith, dude. Look at that's the other cop too. They're just living the life.

Can you imagine being that age? And did he post this on Instagram? On his Facebook, or was it? These guys are fantastic. Yeah. But being cops and ass. What did they think was gonna happen? What did they think?

I also don't trust a cop who looks that good, addresses that way. You know, all that money and a strip club? Is this Justin Elliott? I know, look at him. There's a thing that cops doing like TikToks and shit. It's not good. Did you ever see one of the cops?

No, that's not good. No, that's not good. Cops filming themselves in their car. Yeah. There'd be a cop. The only funny cop was the cop teaching from LeBron. Which one was that?

He got fired, but then the go fund me, saved him. You never saw it? No. So he, you can't look it up to him. The cop he's making fun of. Ron LeBron was mad that that that cop shot the black girl who's gonna stab the other black girl. So LeBron put out like, you know, like your time's up and like blasted his ass. I remember that. Yeah. This cop made a hilarious fucking video of it. Well,

yeah, I got fired, we got fired. Bellevue, let go today, after the office said he was placed on a quote, last chance agreement with Belle because it's clearly laid out at the end. That's just a news article. I'm sure the real video's out there, right? He's not a hot cop. Yeah, you didn't see this?

No. But again, why are cops doing this? This one was actually fucking funny, dude. Like he lost his job, but it fuck was funny. My favorite part is when he goes, my joints better, he goes, what? Nothing. How we get that? Let me go on YouTube. Oh, what are you on Google? No, just,, yeah, it's troops making tick-tocks. It's awkward. It's weird. It is. Where's when they when they dance is the worst part? Are they do the dances?

They'll do that. But I did like when the cops got into the crate challenge. Did you see that cop? Yeah, that's cool. He's like, what's up, everybody? And he runs route and against him and he like falls and breaks his arm. Oh, no, he's all what's up. Kids stay in school and then he's all like climbing up kids staying school and these all like climbing up their program

He's like Just bench ever. Here it is disturbance. We have LeBron call myself one right away. Please. Thank you Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. No, can you put the night down please sir? No, no sir. Don't stab it. No, no stop said Stop hold on hold on. It's Lebron Lebron hey, you guys me again Listen, I'm out here at this disturbance call. There's a guy trying to stab another guy with a knife What do you think I should do? What does that matter? Okay, well, they're both black One guy's trying to stab another guy with a knife deadly forces completely justified

Uh-huh. I see So you don't care if a black person kills another black person, but you do care if a white top kills a black person. Yeah. Yeah. I know you're gonna get some shit. I mean, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. And again, you are really good at basketball. So I guess I'll take your work. All right. Yep. Okay. Can you do it in the an editor here Michael Jordan's the go what You're on your own good luck I could just left it if I could have edited that I would just said don't do the black white thing just do the thing and get advice

But yeah, that's all and I would have been funny. Yeah, you lost a job This I just thought was cool. He's one of the best what would he call those things This I just thought was cool. He's one of the best. What do you call those things? Science, science, and there's one of the Dallas, Texas. All right. He should get in a park or Camp with the maze but always not keto definitely not keto, but he is good at his job Wow, I love people that get it their jobs like this. Yeah So it says which way is the store So it says which way is the story? Oh, get out of here. Yeah, oh here he goes

He's actually really athletic That is super athletic oh shit like a b-boy. Yeah, he's actually athletic. He just Look at that. He just likes treats He likes all the snacks. He likes snacks. There you go The passion Super cut and then this guy one more time. Oh The fucking yeah that guy that jumps and doesn't look real. Oh, that Brian's obsessed with. Yeah. It's time to slam now. Look at this.

Yeah, I'm dude. It doesn't look real. But this is on a hard surface now, so you can actually tell. He almost hits his head on the. Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. That is wild.

It's crazy, man. But what's he doing? What's he doing? You're flipsin' LA fitness. I know. I agree with it. Maybe start spending a sign for great clips. Great clips.

Yeah, that's how you do it. Okay, so I guess this is a pretty popular YouTuber, and then she wanted to do a thumbnail with her son, because I guess something happened to their dog like a dog or something. So she wanted to do a thumbnail of them crying and I guess you put that video out didn't realize it. She didn't edit it.

No. I'll show you this video right now. Can't wait for her to bring her home and be part of her family. But you know what I mean? I wasn't praying for us. We appreciate it. I love you. Oh, lost dog maybe.

Come closer for the video cooler. Come closer. And he's really crying about the dog I am crying oh she's pretty good this is fucking crazy hey let's give her a pass no

she's not embarrassing let's give her a pass she's smoke it's just a little embarrassing. I get embarrassed I'll be crazy watching it gets worse Oh Dude cancel her right now Oh

So what happened to her they delete she deleted it of course You're gonna see a lot of fucking spare bills. What was the what were they sad about? The dog went missing or died some like that Yeah, oh no new puppies sick their puppies sick. Yeah But I mean just the way she did it with her son. That son's not learning so fast here. So crazy, fucking horrible. That kid's like, what the fuck is with mom? Yeah, it's just, that's so hard breaking. It feels like I'm actually crying.

I know. I'm actually fucking, I'm actually fucking, I'm letting him sucks yourself. God, dog. And I guess this will be the last one. Rick Ross never had his driver's license, so he finally got it at age 45. All right. Hey, he has a bunch of cars.

He's over 100 cars. And he just gave his son for a 16th birthday, a Buffalo Wild Wings. Okay. The mad dude, a mad dude. A bunch of wild Wings. A Wings stop. Oh no, he's a Wings stop. He's just a Wings stop.

A 16 year old comes in as a cam, the new boss. My dad bought me the store. And that's your boss. Wow. And make sure we fry those wings, huh? Bud, you know? Rick's really, he turned it around a little. He was like very fat, he lost a lot of weight.

Yeah, still, he's still got a time for slations. Yeah, but he was huge. Yeah, that's true. He was huge. He was doing well. He went on a diet? Yeah, yeah. He caught it Ross fit instead of Crossfit.

Oh, it's really good. Oh wow. Yeah, he lost the love. He's got our pairs. Damn. Damn, I think. Put those tattoos over there. I think he's got the pairs.

Wow. I like him when he's fat. Yeah, he's got a Abe Lincoln tattoo. That's it. Where? He does? He's on his stomach. Abe Lincoln in George Washington.

Oh yeah, it's chess. And the statue of Liberty. Dude, that's a fucking. He's the old man. Abe Lincoln and George Washington. Oh yeah, it's chess. And the statue of Liberty. Dude, this guy's a fucking patriot. I'm a fan. That it, Jim? That's it. I'm saying you know what?

We love you. Watch what I'm doing. Go watch a special on YouTube right now. I'm an host. I just see all year. He's got tour dates as well. As Chrissy D said, it's brilliant. There you go.

It is brilliant. Look at that picture. We got a change. It is brilliant. Look at that picture Lafayette this weekend then Austin for like a week then Phoenix Arizona Then Milwaukee so check it out cool I'll be in I'll be in where am I gonna be buff? Oh no comedy, comedy works September 23rd, 24th, 25th, get your vaccination or at least get a COVID test apparently. Chicago, Illinois, the improv, Schomburg improv, I'll see you September 30th, October 1-2, and then Columbus Ohio,

funny moon, October 8th and 9th. The next Friday and Saturday, I'm at the Bud Light event center in San Antonio, Texas. I got some dogs with me. I got David Lucas, Chappelle A.C., Derek Post, and the whole crew will be there. We have special merch just for those San Antonio shows,

special Think Boy Spurs inspired merch, one show Friday, one show Saturday, Bud Light event center, get your tickets right, fucking now, Texas. Denver, Colorado, September 30th through October 2nd. That's at the comedy works downtown. Mama, I got tickets for you, keep asking,'s downtown. Mama, I got tickets for you. Keep asking.

I keep telling you how I'm for you. Las Vegas, Nevada, Wise Guys, New Club, Ratside, Las Vegas, October 7th through the 9th. Then, Brea, California, is October 15th and October 17th. Dallas, November 11th and 13th. All right. Tickets at FATKZ.com.

I love Dallas. We're at Backflip. All right. October 7th through the 9th. I'll be inT-K-Z.com. Lovedellas. We're at Backflip. All right, October 7 through the 9th, I'll be in Tampa, Florida, at Size Flitters, and then October 28 through the 30th, I'll be in Washington, DC, at the DC Comedy Loft. Boom!

Shame, we love you, dude. Good, amazing. Thank you, guys. Thank you. All right, we're out. Si cada vez que piensas en el mantenimiento de tu BMW, en tu cabeza suena esto. Tranquilo.

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