The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 766: Chris Distefano

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Chris Distefano is back and the guys talk Chris' multiple TV shows and going Hollywood, being humbled by ticket sales, Chris' time with Andrew Dice Clay, dropping his special on YouTube, his girlfriend's godfather Titi Jerry and her crazy prison stories, Chris doing his podcast on edibles and shrooms, latest news headlines/current events and much more!  Join us on Supercast: https://thicccboy.supercast.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guys, here's the thing, if you're at diversion amusements in Vegas, February 19th, that's where I'm at. Who's not gonna be there? I was gonna say, who's not gonna be with you? I mean, Adele's gonna be in Vegas, but she canceled her tour, so guess what? You don't wanna see Brian Calcam? Take your tickets from Adele, Go See Brian and Sam. You don't wanna see the conspiracy social club podcast. I know Katie Perry's there, dude.

What? You can see. You'd rather see Katie Perry than Brian and Sam. Are you out of your fucking mind they have a Michael Jackson hologram you'd rather pay a hundred of dollars for that than Brian and Sam thank you thank you dude and and not only that I'm probably gonna be in Appleton, Wisconsin sometime in March and and in Miami sometime much is good at Brian cald.com go see Brian go see him that's and dude speaking of saving your money There's 20 tickets left for Shobbon friends. Janie 26. It's Brian Cowns mother trucking birthday

It's Shobbon friends Hollywood improv 20 tickets left a pm show one show only when we celebrate Brian Cowns birthday with some very funny friends and then just went on sale at land a punchline February 3rd through the fifth Sacramento's February 24th through 26. We got Chicago and March. Carry on. Draft King Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner, the NFL, counting down to Super wall 56 right here in Los Angeles, California. New customers can get 56 to one odds on any team.

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to wage or required. One per customer's tricks and play. See draft kings dot com slash sports book for details. Gambling problem call way out of gambler. Yeah, we're ready special guest all the way from New York, New York. Maybe you've seen them on the Nick Cannon show. Yeah, Williams. Crazy daytime. What are you doing on daytime talk shows?

Do you hate selling comedy tickets? What's happening? Get a get a break. No, you have a million. No, no, no. No, dude. Are you having a break? No, no, no. He's only doing black audiences though. When you Williams, you can.

Nick Cannon. And you're almost too much for them. No, well, that's he's too much. I want to say, I want to say a joke. He's got a joke on Nick Cannon, it was all. Yeah. Yeah, but that's, yes. That's the bit, Brandon.

I love it. That's what I'm doing. Yeah, that's, that's what, no, that's what I'm doing is, is I, I go on these fucking shows and I'm like, you know what? If I'm gonna go on this shit, I'm gonna do it on my own terms. They told me, the Nintendo producers, they told me that morning they said, hey, we saw you're a little Chrissy day time TV thing with Wendy Williams. They said, you know, it's funny, we respect, but they said, but this is a live show.

This is a live show. So they said, we really, you know, we put governors on, put governors on. Yes, wrong to say to a comic. So they, as soon as the show opened, you know, I just on put governors on yes wrong to get out of a comic so that's it's not as special as soon as the show opened you know i just went crazy daytime's i said i have i have an uncircumcised penis and it's you know it's ready to go and they and they just were like what nick canon was politely laughing did both shows when do you williams and um uh nick cano show i did not get paid i was not given the sack paper you breach contract you left, but I will do that if you're a day time you on there

If you're a daytime TV show producer I'll come in and I'll give you a little CD TV Chrissy day times shake it up shake it up shake it up and then because I'm gonna come in there because the thing is I believe if you're getting actual laughs on daytime television, so you're doing bullshit jokes So I'm coming in there. Just swing it. You're a curveball. They're a curveball. Now the question was does it sell tickets? No. So we're struggling with some theaters out there. Pick it up. But you know what?

Hold on, he's doing a huge theater play. Chrissy theaters everybody had the CTE tour. Yeah, yeah. So do you remember Gary Shanling? Remember the great question? Yeah, it's one of those. And Gary Shanling was a guy who just would never, I did a couple shows with him, benefits for them, and he was just always, he stopped doing stand-up for a while,

but he would always bring it, and he was just so smart and everybody else. And he said, Jerry Seinfeld said, I never feel comfortable at Hollywood parties. Yeah. And Shanling said, well, the minute you feel comfortable at Hollywood parties is the minute you become Billy Crystal, which means you're not funny anymore.

Yeah. So if you're funny on a fucking gay time show, you're that safe, get the fuck out. You're boring to me. Yeah, once you've got two Hollywood, like you're out of the crew, dude. Yeah, you can't do it. If you've got Hollywood, you can't be on here.

Yeah, no, they were like, they were like, hey, can we hear some of your jokes like in the rehearsal, I was like, no. I'm gonna do them for the first time live, maybe. Are you out of your mind? Were you contrasting that beautiful green with your eyes, are you? You're all done, no.

You're going a little Hollywood honest though, yeah? No, I'm a theater place. You're messing with the kids ambitious. He's having fun with them. He's trying to get out. He's definitely a fun way. I'm trying to get out there because, you know, somebody's got to pay that alimony.

So I went on that show that Nick Cannon showed. They told me to dress professionally nice and I went on with a sweatshirt that said Bing Bong. I went on with a Bing Bong sweatshirt. Is that your gender pronoun? Yeah, Bing Bong. And that over to Bing Bong. Is that your gender pronoun? Yeah, Bing Bong. I swear to God, Bing Bong sweatshirt and pants from Old Navy with mismatching socks

and low top Nike. That was my feeling. Yeah, and Nick Cannon had on probably a $5,000 suit. My situation had an assistant that was pressing his clothes and they asked me several times if they do you have any other outfits? I said absolutely not they said well We don't know if we can license that I said not my problem babe Yeah

You're probably not coming back. Yeah cuz I because the thing is I think you have to go into those things knowing like I don't give Is shit if you never invite me back? I'm doing this for me and my clips. I'm not doing this for the audience Acting teacher who told who told the class, he goes, when you go to an audition, when you go to an audition, you tell them how it goes. You tell them. Well, he goes, you now, now you go, I got the, you got the spirit of what you're saying.

I got the spirit, right? We take a little list, take a little list, not breast pay. You tell them how it goes. So we had this fucking dumb dumb in class. There's always a couple, part of being in an acting class is watching a train wreck. This was a dumb dumb.

Well, no one's gonna make it. Well, no. No one's gonna make it. And you have the ones that have their dream boards and all that, and this is one of those people. And apparently they went in, and I only know this because I have a friend who was a producer on the show And said she comes in and she goes this is how it goes guys

And everybody goes huh and and they go that that's kind of both and she goes all of you you sit here I said that I I sit there and so they went oh we're good Yeah, so it'd be like this and and she decided to shake the room up over a pit. You guys are gonna all just go for me. And she has no credentials, nothing. No, and they went, we're fine sitting here. And she was like, oh, yeah, okay. She didn't think about that.

Then she started shaking. She didn't think about that. They went, well no, shut up bitch, do the thing. Yeah, so she was, no, things never worked out. I mean, yeah, that was, like Chris. Chris, Chris, Chris, you missed the Cobbass fight band. Which will reach a I mean, Chris. Chris, Chris, how long have you been? But you missed the Cobbass fight band, which will reach a million views, whatever.

I know, instead I did the Tampa Theater. How'd that, how'd Tampa go? It actually was great. Shout out to fans of Tampa Theater and Mr. Salup by 100 tickets. So not terrible. Not terrible. 1112, that's pretty big boy.

That's a big, Tampa, Tampa's good market. That's a big boy, 1111. 1111, that's big boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I say 1111, so it really was 980, but, you know, we're on net, we're on net, we're on net. We're on net, we're on net. That's common so, that's common so,

Mike, you're golf score, it's that way. Absolutely, with five. Shut up, shut up 90. What do you think? Dude, I sold out five shows in my Emily. Yeah, you know, I made three. I made three, you know. It's five, right?

But you sold out three. Yeah, I do that, yeah, I do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, sold out five fucking saw you. Damn, it's fun. When you sold out, yeah, I do that. Yeah, I do. Dude, sold out. Five fucking saw you. Damn, that's crazy. Tell me that. I'll go online to brinkan.com, I'll look through if it's sold out.

Four to five ain't bad. Why don't we do that to each other? Because we lie. Because we're liars. I don't know. But we're horrible people. That's why we wind up. We're at.

Yeah, you're just, we're shit. Dude, if we were decent human beings, we'd be doing, you know what I mean? I'd be a teacher, so I'd be a kid. Chins a good guy. Chins a good guy. And I said before the show started, Chins you've gotten taller. What's your seat?

His neck is fucked up and they started wearing a neck brace. Oh, should, I think that's actually possible. Oh, for sure. I've been in a traction, which pushes your head up. I love the device right there. Six, seven. Really? I knew something was wrong with Chris's neck's a neck with the minute he walked in.

You walked in, you had your hands were in front of your knees. You have very long arms. Thank you. So your arms were, I don't know, that's a, it's complicated. No, it's hard work in dedication. No, you got good reach, you got good reach. Yes, I do.

And your knuckles were sort of, you walked in a little bit like a knuckle dragon, right? 100%. Yeah. I said something's wrong with his. Yes. You have, he's got bad posture today. And it's because of I have a neck issue.

Now, I think my neck issue could be directly related to how much time I'm spending on a phone, cramped over computers, you know, dealing I have a six-month-old baby, seven-month-old baby, so on the floor dealing with that. But I did, I pulled, and I'm going to be honest with you, I'm honest with the group, I pulled my neck on the eighth Pull up of the first set Strike Bob two more. You're

Three four days go hands this way he's very full clean You know as law might you know stretch my long my long arms and then all the way chin over the bar was one and on the eighth one Popped pop my vertebrae. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we're set first set. We're the similar age, right? I'm 37 years old, I'm 38, 83, we're getting older, Daddy. I didn't blow out one hamstring. I blew out both hamstrings. Yeah, and to blow out both hamstrings, I mean, it's just a funny thing. It's like it's tor. It's tor. It's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like you got to be a store fucking idiot you know it's to blow out both it's like it's like you're fully retarded

but you know I agree that's what it is. Shade up peanut butter valken. Yes. Yes. Did daddy not come running into the studio this morning? It wasn't running. It was good. It was good. I thought it was strong job. I begged him to warm up. There was none of that. And then when I saw him pop both I went well, well, we're done for the tough matter. I do the thick matter on Saturday, we're all doing it.

And you're gonna do it with popped hammies and all. That he's getting better. He's a tough kid. He's been rehabbing his stuff, though. He's been rehabbing. I'm Jose Conceco, right now. I haven't had a carbon two and a half weeks. I got more illegal supplements rolling through this body

to cure this hammy, then fucking Alex Rodriguez. No, do you have your endurance thing? Oh, it is? Oh, yeah. I thought it wasn't, I thought you needed it. Really? I thought you need carbs for long distances. It's good, 55.

No, I'm just saying it's like the nutrients you get from red meat and all that stuff. Do you have 55 on Wednesday? Are you not 55? You don't have 55 on Wednesday? No, 55 with, you're ready to get're 55 on Wednesday? No, I'm not. 55 with, you're ready to get this? I'm on the ball.

He's going on. I'm getting older. I don't do TRT. And what are you 29 waste? I got a 32 waste at the end of the day. 30 because you got a bit of a dumper. I got an asset. Oh, he does have a Applebot.

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How long we gonna do this? I have a few hours. He only has maybe 10 more. Well, because you're only 65. We can't, we can't be talking about days. Yes, we can. At 65, we'll see what happens. Celebrate.

At 55, I am, my body is much more delicate, so I do lots of PT stuff like for my back and next to that stuff because that stuff a lot of white stuff. Yeah, that shit But you've got five B you think we're still gonna be fucking around man I don't know you're depressing me I really I don't even acknowledge a birthday. I want to 10 your Peter pay the same way to and I am and I still got lots of energy And I'll be running that tough motor. No problem.

Yeah, it might be a problem for me. I'm gonna do it. What's your sign? I'm gonna query this. Thank you for the price, dude. I'm a Virgo. Virgin. September, August 26th, maybe 1984.

St. Berthias, McColley, Colton. Oh, what can you do, homalone? That's huge. Yeah. Did you have some speed? Did you have a U-Law effect? Because you're German. A lot of people don't realize that Christus Tefano is very, very, I'm alone. That's huge. Now, did you have some speed? Did you have a lot of fat? Because you're German. A lot of people don't realize that Christus Tafen

has very, very little town. He played basketball. Mostly, mostly German. Most German, all of it. A hint of Irish and British. Yep. So mostly German. And I basketball, I weld it to happen.

I could jump. Because right now I'm sitting here at a comfortable 242 pounds, right? Hey, hey, are we 42? Are you like 45, 46, you think? Let's go 250. Yeah, yeah. Hey.

I keep man honest on the other side. You know, I'm probably 62. And I also had a blueberry muffin toast with butter this morning. Yeah, that's good. Why would you do that? Because I'm depressed, Brenton. Why?

Because my tickets aren't selling on the theater tour. And I was putting two big eventues at two high ticket prices, but that's why. And who told you? I know. Fucking dumb. I knew you'd never get a ticket. Yeah, baby.

Well, nobody takes it more personally than he and I. Yes, no, no, nobody's, when does it sound like that? Nobody frustrates me more than Chris C.D. Why? No, what? Yeah. Because he doesn't listen to you. He's the next, he's it.

He's the next guy in New York. He went in with Sholtz, went Tim Dillon, you next, he's it. He's the next guy in New York. He went in with Shull to went Tim Dillon. You know, it's, you know, these guys, Chinkill is fucking Mark Norm, the New York guys are crushing now. And Chrissy Dees more talented than everybody. And he doesn't fucking listen.

Don't listen. But hey, I wanna hit him. That's you. You were rough, mom. Hit me, dude. Don't do that. No, I can't, I can't. Oh, God.

Hold on. Hold on. What the fuck? Hold on. You rough mom hit me dude don't you come? No, I can't my mom What you asked me out you better have a fucking visor on Oh, it's like a porgy What you like a porgy pine But you said that so long you got caught across in the crib dude you hit me in the chin It's like sticking your finger on my prostate. Oh, hang it out. Oh man, especially if you're big to your burst. You don't wanna hit that.

That's much to drop to. Dude, yeah, dude. It smelled her perfect. It don't have the same time. Dude, I'm actually dribbling right now. I would assume you came in all bunched up with your neck and your back, because your schedule's fucking nuts. Why are you doing all this, man?

It's come from a guy who doesn't chill out. I got 100 podcasts. I know, no, that's too much. doing all this man. It's you'll that and this come from a guy who doesn't chill out. I got a hundred podcasts. I know. No, that's, it's too much. I think what happened was, let me, when does this episode come out tonight? Tonight. Tonight, look at that.

So here's the good news. Here's the good news on the Chrissy theaters, everybody tour the hashtag CTE tour. We got, I'm Christy Northeast. Borgata, we got two shows sold out. Beacon Theater in New York City, 2700. Sold out. Not bad.

27 hundreds, not bad. Big boy. You sold out the beacon that's a big big and that one's gone take it to do for not as big to you're a press your boys you boys done for God you're now you're depressed well let's finish let's be depressed to the next let's let's start going Midwest let's Texas well oh no well no Texas I did good Austin we added with Vulcan we sold a lot of tickets that's like you know. Not a huge deal. But we're 1500 by the end of the thing.

So that's good. That's not bad. Not making money. Here's where we get, here's where we get a little dicey, okay? Warner Theater, Washington DC. That's another big boy, 1900. Been on sale six months. Got about 350 tickets sold.

That's a ton. That's a ton. Now that's a pencil. I'm very bad. That's February 11th. Hey, people watching DC. People watching DC, you see, you might get a Chris Scott COVID email next year.

Yes. And that's what I told you. Then we got here's another fun one. Then the very next day, February 12th, we got the Tabernacle, through Atlanta, another big boy. We're in 2100 and we got 235 back and forth. That's a chocolate city.

You're ready. That's a chocolate city. That's a chocolate city. That's a chocolate city. You're right in here. That's a chocolate city. That's a chocolate city. That's a chocolate city. Yes. Atlanta. That's a chocolate city. That's a little tough sometimes because here's the thing.

What's my guess is Chris? 3000. You're right. My guess is, Bob, that you're in certain areas in blue states you might have because they're not listening to that man shit. No, these New Yorks, please. Yeah, so it's my shit. No, these New York's blue though. Yeah, so it's my whole town. Yeah, but New York's still a little.

I got this tire after the NY coming to the show. Yeah, I got the tire for it's the only thing. Exactly, you got it. New York's got a lot of old school, the tie and Irish guys that are all over that. They're all coming. I mean, you got Jersey, forget it. It's a, they think it's blue, but it's not.

There's a lot of ways. Yeah. But I'm talking about in a lot of places like California and shit like San Francisco. Yeah, bro. No, we get good to get. But then we got the Agora Theatre in Cleveland and the Royal Oak in Detroit. Those are March 4th and 5th. Donnie, depeta, aka Chubby, uh, Fred Choppo.

Uh-huh. Yeah, Fred must have that. No, also, also, no, that's my son. Betty Murk. The third Mario, bro. Yeah, he comes out to me and goes, hey man, we went before I go, well, how am I supposed to recognize him? Yeah, I love the mustache.

Perfect, you know, so how are we doing in those? So the Agora Theater and the Royal Oak Theater in Detroit, Michigan, March 4th and 5th, we're doing pretty good on those. We're about 50 to 60% sold to the room. About a month out, those probably might go. Those are when it gets dicey again there we go there we go is is we're getting pretty hairy at the wind in Las Vegas

that's for you we're getting hairy oh why oh why cuz Katie Perry's next door because we were going up against a little woman named a dow March 17th and 18th at the Morphe The battle and the revolutionary hall in Portland. We're not doing terrible not doing great where it goes a fucking nose Dive is the Egyptian room April 8th in Indianapolis. That's another big boy. Yeah, we're, where? Have you ever, do you even sell at clubs? No, I don't, I don't, I don't have 13 tickets sold.

But Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, here's another issue. A lot of people don't have money in those areas. Yeah. That you're talking about. I won $160 for the front row. Oh, you're asking, I won a little. Don't you start as the, you say? Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so let's do it. I love how old you are, Bob. I love it. The average American has $500 in the season. Okay, so let's do it. I love how old you are, but the average American has $500 in the bank. Yep, you're asking, you're asking me to spend their entire bank. The economy's doing all right. It's not that, it's just, wrong mark.

He went from clubs to giant theater. Oh, here's another good idea. He skipped the middle. Here's another fun one. I sold out four clubs at Zaini's in Chicago. Okay, last year, it's still four clubs. I said, hey, I sold out four shows in Chicagoaini's in Chicago. Okay, last year, still four clubs. I said, hey, I sold out four shows in Chicago.

You know what Chicago's called? I said, let's go to the Chicago theater. 36 Hundo. That's March 12th. That one's not too terrible. Listen, that one we got about 14, 1500 tickets sold. So it's not terrible, but I should have just done the Vic,

which is a thousand seats, and then we added a show. But instead I went right to the Chicago theater. Well, I like your mentality. So, I like your mentality. I skid it off a little bit. What'd you say? I like your mentality.

I like that mentality. And then your management should be like, oh dude, 100% you should be doing this. Why don't we play, say it? Well, I'll tell you what, Brendan. I'm sitting here right now as a free agent, baby. No, you're not. I clean.

No, you're not. No, you're not. I had too, baby. I said, don to pet is my fucking agent now. And you're gonna deal with this mustache. That's who's booking the gigs. Why does he have Brennan job managing? I should. I'm gonna have Christian Palo manage me

because I wanna get in the black community through his brother. I got some for you. So they booked me at the hard rock in Oklahoma. And it seats, I think 24, it's big. This is like 2400. And I was like, Oklahoma, they give you a guarantee you know, Casinos gets big. You get, you see the money? I think 24, it's big. This is like 2400. And I was like, oh, Oklahoma, they gave you a guarantee,

you know, Casinos gets big. You got, you see the money? So they go, if you sell out, you get this much. I'm like, holy fuck, if I could sell it. So we do all this marketing around all that number. We get there on Friday, shows on Saturday, and I'm Friday, look at, no tickets are for sale. I'm like, holy fuck, you get sold out.

I'm more think about about I'm telling my openers dude you guys getting bonuses or something stuff out we get to the hell yeah no we get to the show I'm waiting the back I hear there's a tornado alarm there's a tornado thing going on so the line outside go scattering they run they fucking

sprint like well that ain't good. I don't want to show it out. I'm sure they come back. So I'm sitting there and the owner or the like the guy who managed stuff for cowboy hat, he comes and then goes, you boy, you boy is ready. I go, no, there's a there's a tornado alarm bro that nobody's out there. I looked out, there's six people in the crowd dude that's sold out and he goes, is that a fact? I go, yeah, it's fact. I'm not going out there. I looked out there's six people in the crowd dude that's sold out and he goes is that a fact? Yeah, it's fact. I'm not going out there dude. There's six people out there I'm gonna wait till they come back from the tornado goes no you're gonna start I'm not I promise you I'm not those six people you can bring in the green room. I'll do the show here

Yeah, I'm not one of that giant theater and I go and then he goes okay, and he goes we'll figure it out and goes Here's your check, too. I'm not gonna stay for the show. Here's your check. He's gonna check. I'll look at how you go. Oh, oh, real quick, sir. It's sold. I know there's tornado and all that, but it's sold out and I'm so scared to bonus.

And he goes, oh yeah? I go, yeah, he goes. Come talk to my office. So, right, go to his office. I sit down and he goes, sir, I'll never forget this. Here's the facts. here's the facts. Here's the facts. I'm bearish in front of your friends.

I don't want to bearish front of your friends. Around here, nobody know who y'all. I go, I go, what? He goes, nobody know who y'all. I go, I go, I go, but I sold I goes, not even close, son. He goes, we reserve some tickets because it wasn't selling well We reserve some for the waylers and the people that play out there and it just wasn't selling here He goes now maybe in New York, California. No who you are around here. No one knew who you are

There's what you can do you take this money not a lot you can take this money You can go out there give one hell of show I go There's six people out there goes. I don't care. You can go out there and give them one hell of a show. I go, there's six people out there and he goes, I don't care. You're gonna go out there, he goes, because you're on Native American time. He goes, and we can't start late, son. You're on Native American time.

Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. Okay. I went out there. How did you get a cowboy head on the show? I'd say sold out on the website. Like, why did you think it was sold out?

Because it said, there's, because it didn't say sold out, just you couldn't buy tickets. So I soon sold out. Of course. Of course. Dude, wait, those were the reserved tickets then. No, it just wasn't selling at all. And they're like, oh, so they sold out.

Oh, so they, oh. Two days before they pulled all tickets out. Chris, do you have a, do you have a spend them? And then I'll never forget this. I'm on Comedy Central. I'll never forget a kept saying. I'll never forget, Ephraim, I will never forget this kept saying, nobody knew who you are.

Nobody knew who you are. New York, California. New York, California. He goes, I'm sure, I'll never forget, Ephraim, I will never forget this kept saying, nobody knew who you are. Nobody knew who you are. New York, California, New York, California. I'm sure that's fine. Here, and he goes, son, I'll give you this. You know, tornado warn, that ain't fun. And no one sooner is playing today. That ain't good for you either. You booked me, man.

It is what it is. Well, he said we might have you back. That's what he goes, you go out there and give me a good show, we might have you back. That's what he goes. You go out there and give me a show. We might have you back. I never got that. Was it actually a good show? Though probably the crowd was probably hot.

Pretty see ya. Yeah, it was fun. But that'll make you feel so heavy. That'll make you like, hey, nobody knows who you are. I need to do, okay. Nobody knows who you are. And then going to my office. They go to my openers like, dude,

you remember I saw this and gave you those boasts and shit? Dude, that ain't happening. Dude, you as daddy didn't get paid. You remember in the dark days for daddy when I wasn't doing fightin' a kid and nobody knew where I was comin' and I was, I called him up because I had no one else talk to.

I called him up and I was like, I wanna kill, I wanna kill, I wanna kill everybody in myself as well. Like, because you're in Seattle on a Thursday and there's seven to ten. You know, Ryan Bryan is not much, I know you're really pissed, nothing I can say is gonna make you, but you try to give me some excuse. But you know it is COVID. Yeah.

I would have done, if you said, Bryan, you can do all that cocaine. That's what I would have needed to go out there. But you know what daddy did, daddy studied ticket sales and venues. So I think that there's a business side to it. Yeah, where I think, yeah, now it's one, some of these theaters is going to be, it's going to be the Chrissy, the Chrissy Curtains show, because they're going to just have to put the curtain down and some of that. And then it'll make it feel, that's what you want to hear from your agent.

Oh, it's going to feel good though. We have the curtain down and about. Hey, they go, they got the audience. Hey, it's a curtain doll. They go, no dude, what they do, the curtains, it's going to feel like a tight room. It's going to good though. We have the curtain down and about. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's a curtain doll. They go, no dude, what they do, the curtains, it's gonna feel like a tight room. It's gonna look packed. Sure it is.

Yeah. No, I got it, I think it's about, you know, when you, here, because you know what happened is I was like, it was the first time everyone really started selling tickets, you know, ever in my career. So I was like, oh, Adam shows it, comedy clubs, every comedy club I want to, you sold out, Adam shows it's all good, good, good.

So I was like, let's do theaters, let's try it. And I realized, I'm a regional guy. I realized that in the Northeast, I mean, I'm in New York, I can do it. Like we're good, I'm good. But then when it gets a little hairy when you go to these other cities where like you said no money,

or maybe they just don't know how to do it. Oh, Annapolis, different politics. It's not that you can't do those. It's that in your management, which is fucking awful, which in those New York markets, and these go to markets, you should be doing that. The rest, you shouldn't. You shouldn't be making those leaps.

No, no, no. That's what you look at. Because then in a fan's, I'm like, dude, there's nobody there. Oh yeah, no, it's brutal. So was the move to just keep it to the close for a bit, even if you are adding that. No, there's money, there's money in theaters,

but it's only if you can sell some out of tickets. Like in New York and wherever New York bought it. New York bought it. New York bought it. Any Northeast filly. You're getting a little bit of trouble too because Philly, what we did was, we did the Philly punchline in August

and we sold out eight shows. So that's nice, sell out eight. Fair enough a very nice nice. Yeah, that's but that was 3,000 tickets, but then you're doing Atlantic city, right? We're doing the bargada. John goes there. It's all out who all goes and what we did is we said April we said April 29th. We're going to do a casino in Bethlehem that seats 2000. Then the very next day April 30th, we're going to do the Met, which holds four thousand. I'm not see to 2000 then the very next day April 30th We're gonna do the met which holds four

This is on Pennsylvania. Yeah, well who's doing this to you? Agent Chris like I would have told you No, I would have told you this crazy shit. I've ever heard of my life. No, no I tell my agent. I'll go do I think she do staples Like I want to do you know, but yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no For that we're purchased already for the man. We're probably gonna be going to the film or what's just a little bit smaller And when I stay a little bit smaller about three thousand seats small Start there and we're gonna see how it goes We're also gonna move the show because I just did 18,000 shows in filling in August and then I did another show in

Borgona We're gonna move that date from April 30th 2022 to I want to say September 2023. Yeah We're gonna do because we're gonna do? Yeah. Because we're gonna need to give the people a fill of Philadelphia arrest. And you're in arrest.

And you're gonna need new jokes and new acts and stuff. Yeah. Because I don't have, I have an hour special out, Brian asked me, I was size 38, where he's from Comedy Central, which only the people in this room ever saw. Because Comedy Central, I mean, it's just, it's literally, it's an underground.

YouTube. Network, Netflix said no to me, HBO. Show everybody said no to my new app. So we're gonna just go put it on the tube. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot more. We're gonna have a lot more. And that's what's gonna sell more tickets. That's what's probably gonna sell more tickets.

So I'm fine with it, but yeah, it's an interesting, interesting thing because, you know, the one positive thing I'll say about absolutely fucking failing at some of these theaters is it's not, I've proven at least to myself. It's really not about the money I do do comedy because I truly love it because I'm making even the guarantee on these theaters You're gonna make money and I'll bring money back home to my family But I feel like such a pitiful depressur

Nothing worse, so there's actually a positive thing where I'm like oh at least I love stand-up and yeah I always knew I did but it's like just a confirmation to be like, I love doing the pockets, but I'm a standup comic. That's what I always want to do. And you learned something. You learned, I learned something. I learned, here's a new agent.

Here's a new agent. His name is Justin Edbrook at CA. Yes, I saw him last night. That's the guy. Yeah, I was with him last night, man. Fucking great. I was with him last night. I'll never do that to you.

Good just, good just an Edbrook. He's very smart and he won't be a fan. I know, we were talking last night. So I'll never do that to you. Good just good just an ad brook. He's very smart. He won't I know. I know we were we were taught we were talking last night. So I'll see what happens, dude. I'll see what happens. But I'm out here on the pod. If you guys want to come to the theater show, Kristie comedy.com, you know, you might get some emails about, you know, some last minute COVID changes. But don't worry, your tickets will be honored. And

if you have a problem, you can DM me. Or you know, take a master Yeah, you have me. Yeah, take a master. Yeah, DM me. Take a master. But don't worry, babe, we'll take care of ya. But I forgot in Beacon. I love how honest you are about it. Like, you just like fucking. You have to fucking.

Because what I mean, dude, my eight, and then I was, and then I was, then I was, and then I did the Tampa Theater last week, which is great, told you, missed it by, you know, 100, 300, sell tickets, but not bad. But, you know, 84% of the room, not bad. So, so we got a nice lift on the meet and greet But, you know, 84% of the room not bad. So, we got a nice lift on the meet and greet 100, we got all the money in the meet and greet, so it's nice.

And by the way, people on the Tampa meet and greet, I do want to tell you, I had slight body aches, but nothing to be concerned about. Oh, but the day before that, I was supposed to be co-headlining the hard rock in Orlando with Andrew Dice Clay. And Andrew Dice Clay calls me a week before and he goes, baby, he goes, Chris. And he goes, I can't do the show the next week.

I got Bells palsy. So I was like, oh shit, okay. Bells palsy, no, that is. Yeah, it's like, yeah, you're face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to, face to know what that is? Yeah, it's like, we're faced with this. Yeah, you're faced with this. You're faced with this. You're not doing stand-up with that, Paul. So I said, all right, I said fair enough. So he said, but we're gonna do a show together in March. We're gonna re-book show in March.

I said, absolutely. I said, I'll cram it right in there with the rest of my shelves that are fucking bombing. I said, no problem. I said, so let's do it. So I, he said, we're gonna do it in March. I said, okay. So then my agent calls me an hour later,

and he says, hey, I got you an offer for October at the Hard Rock in Orlando. I said, well, I don't want to be a dick to die. So I'm not going to do that. To die, so I said, I'm going to do the show with him in March. He was like, what are you talking about? I said, Dice called me and said, we're doing the show together in March.

He goes, Dice booked himself for March, baby. You're doing a solo show. He's doing a solo show. So you're fucking out of here. So I said, wow, that one hurt. So now, I'm on sale October 22nd at the hard rock in Orlando. If you want to come, I'm going to be wearing a fucking Mickey Mouse hat. I'm going to do the whole show with a new surround my neck. You guys see, how did you line up with Andrew Dice Clay? He messaged me. Andrew Dice Clay reached out to you line up with Andrew Dice Clay? He messaged me.

Andrew Dice Clay reached out to me. I love Andrew Dice Clay, I'm a big fan, but he messaged me. He messaged me and was saying all these complimentary things. It was like, I want to do a show with you. So we booked the show and then it just fell through, but it is just funny how life, you know, that's the whole thing with this business. It's like, you just fucking ups and downs, you know, and I think I'm on an up But it's just funny. It's just funny when you see the tickets You're like that feels damn when you cuz some of these some of these you know the agent will send

You know the venue size the ticket sales and then percentage and some of these percentages are in the single digits I mean some of these are such as the weather and buffalo But how's the pods going? The pods are great. Chrissy Chaos every Tuesday, 11th, and Eastern time, and hey, babe, it's not volcano. Every Thursday, 11th, and Eastern time, those are good. And that's the beautiful part about potting is, you know, the patreon patreon.com such Christy comedy.

Dude, I did mushrooms on my Patreon last week. And because I do a thing on the Patreon, my Patreon called the Chris and Eddie show where I used to take edibles, which I would call Eddie's, why I would, you know, called the Chris and Eddie show, where I used to take Edibles, which I would call Eddie's, why would, you know, say this Chris and Eddie show, and I never did drugs, I would take an Edible for the Patreon and we do show, but now it's like morphing into things.

But last week, I took a mushrooms on the podcast in like chocolate mushrooms, or just... What was that? What was that? The Chris and Eddie show, dude, it reshaped my brain because my brain, I used to get all bent out of shit. It's a positive and a negative, what happened?

Because the positive was it reshaped my brain and kind of re-did some pathways to like not beat myself up so much and just be, who cares, go with the flow. But it also said to myself to just be happy with my body and my life. So now I've been eating a lot of muffins because I don't care anymore. Because I'm like, that's not good. You know, I'm happy having tits, but what's gonna happen is I'm gonna wake up one day.

Yeah. And be like, am I in a fat suit? Yeah. Well, you know, you know, so Simon now with all people looking at death, it's got better results than almost anything. Mike Tyson, you know, he did that whole thing with this woman where they went to something. Yeah, that dude fucking said,

he credits that for his sort of peace of mind. No, they also do it with the fraud. But they also do it with pressure and PTSD, PTSD, PTSD, but they've found it. CT for fighters. I'm so open about whatever the things going on. I'm telling you, the mushrooms are the thing.

And next week for the Chris and Eddie show, I pay Trin, that comes to Chrissy Comedy, we're gonna do, you know, cause it's always like some type of substance that we take and do the show. Next we come in to get the booster and then do the show. There's a woman in the booster. I'm gonna do the, I'm gonna get two boosters

and each arm and just do the show. It's gonna be a good idea. There's a woman in LA who works with a lot of people, including Tyson, who she'll take you away for it's a four-day retreat Ask if she wants to buy some tickets to DC. I will I will. I'm friends who did the what what they think I don't know, man, you know, yeah, I think you're okay. Yeah, what would you use it for just curious? You don't have CTE you don't have any of that curious. You know PTSD. I got one experience of PTSD from what though you saw no war action, you know, okay?

He's been through it. I mean it can help with therapy I would but most people that do it see a therapist all the time can you say that? There's enough or a pest therapy Oh, yeah, wow. It's not they see the therapist and then that's not working then this because this is last I mean might as well do it see how how you feel. I would say do it. Well, Christian, why are you beat red? What the fuck is going on? Why are you red?

He's a huge fan dude and he loves, he's like, Chris, did you take your life and I just claim, you know, I'm gonna claim butyl or some shit? Just hot. Oh really? Cause I have video proof that you're doing Climb butyl or something.

Jesus, I knew it man. I would love to say it. No, yeah, your brother, your brother was shooting up testing my house last week. Oh, you did ask me to do it to him before. Well, yeah, your brother, your brother was shooting up tests in my house last week. Oh. You know what I mean? I did do a tour before. Well, yeah, dude, he's, it's time to talk about a good looking kid.

Yeah, he got sure. He actually, he did, I, I did mushrooms with his brother. Oh, he took some mushrooms, you know, I don't know if stars is upset with that or not. But we did mushrooms. I think he sat on my lap. He sat on my lap on the show. Oh, yeah, go to Christy Combo, yeah, go to Gianna

if you want. What's this? I mean, I'm sure the clip, look at this kid's body. He's got a lap on the show. Yeah, go to Christy comp well, yeah, go to Gianni if you want What is this? I'm gonna show the clip look at this kids body's got a rock and a body smaller man Hey, why would he why would he sit on your lap because we were just we were on mushrooms and we just went Let's go to a wild shadow band probably he might be shadow band probably Go down here. We go down. That's my fault. By the way. This is my father, Tampotoni Um, he came to the, Tampatoni. He came to the show, Tampatoni.

Man, is those shirts made up? Why is he dressed like that? Well, because those are your uncle. Is Andrew Dice Clay? No, I know. That's Tampatoni, and he took pictures with about 50 women. Whitney Cumming said, is he single? Yeah, dude, he has his, he has his, he goes,

zoom out a little bit. He wanted to wear his new diabetic socks. I mean, these are new fucking pressure socks. He was wearing, he pulled them up to his nuts sack. You know what I'm saying? What are those shoes on? No, when you look at my father, if you look at it quick, you say, does that guy have special needs? And the answer is, I don't know. And, but yeah, so that's my pops. If you go back to the, to the, to the, to the,

to the took mushrooms on my podcast, there we go. Right there. You look high. No, I was high. No, I was high so the Troubles still goes and again this pop each 20 minutes away to come back and I'm gonna be on Shrooms I just want to tell you when I close my eyes. It's going like this This is this is Christians brother and then the cats he's sitting on my lap We're feminine for some reason I don't lie This is like legitimate like I feel like I'm upside I feel like I'm hanging up I'm aware that we're honest and you know who the you know who our MLK is? MGK machine gun.

I don't remember I was blacked out. Yeah, people were mad at me about that. Look, see, look at it. What a chest. You're ever going to be 21 million of them ever mined. He's got a son. I think he's got a kid and he's on the juice. Have it.

Yeah, there's homeless pimple. What's coven something that there's only made $21 million. I bought my space stock, so I'm, I'm hoping it comes back. I found your family. Look at that. What the fuck? It's still on your lap. What's my daughter bouncing around?

Why is she not getting, you know what's, you saw my six month old daughter jumping around and we call it a jump rule, do you? Yeah, I started jumping in and after the show. That's cute. That's cute. That's cute. So yeah, so your brother's got a hell of a bot and the thing is the thing is how do you feel about about your brother? And his acting career. What do you think where do you think it's gonna go? You love it? I love it. Yeah, I love it. I think he's gonna be a superstar, right?

Right. Is there any jealousy at all? You're happy doing what you're doing you're happy for him. Yeah, I'm completely happy for him I have no jealousy for that at all It is What you're doing, you're happy for him. Yeah, I'm completely happy for him. I have no jealousy for that at all. You've been a lot of help for me. No, it isn't her brother. Oh, it's her brother. I'm the youngest. You're the youngest. And you have a lower half like a catcher. You have an ass like a catcher.

No, you look like a MLB catcher slash school cafeteria lunch lady ass. Right? I did. But that's a positive. I got cake. That's a piece on them. It's a problem.

Your brother told me you have a big dick. You have a big, big dick. I do. I'm not my problem. You guys brother told me of a big dick. You're brother told me of a big, big dick. I do. Bro, my problem. You guys ever do a little math? I'm being honest. Oh, blow. No, because it's prevalent in your community.

No, really? We, not proven it's warwick. Yes, it's huge meth area. No, I didn't do any drugs until, or drink, really, until I grabbed my drink. Are you ha- What's going on? I mean, shake this, it. I'm talking, what's going on? I mean, shake this, but.

I'm talking to the whole show. You're on some sort of supplements, yeah? I took an Adderall. Like, at seven in the morning. But you prescribed Adderall. Yeah, yes. How many milligrams we took in? 20, this morning.

What's the dog tag for? St. Christopher. St. Christopher, was the patron saint of traffic, right? I think he is. I think you're wearing the patron saint of traffic. Maybe, I'm pretty sure it's just a traffic. No, I think, oh, maybe it painted same a traffic, right? I think he is. I think you're wearing the painted same a traffic. Maybe, I'm pretty sure it's just a traffic. No, I think so. Oh, maybe it's travels.

Yeah, yeah, traffic. That's traffic. Chris, feel me in, I don't know, the, I'll fill you up. Thank you, sir. The show you do with Salton. Did they break up? Did the crew break up? So, well, the, the, the Joe got out.

Is it called, what's the show called? In practical jokers. Yeah, I guess they broke up. No, they didn't break up. No, they're still doing the show. No, they goto. Is it called what's the show called and practical jokers? Yeah, I guess they break up. No, they have break up. No, they're still doing the show. No, they broke up. I'm announcing it now. They broke they hate each other.

They can't spread these rules. No, no, no, no, no, Joe's a great guy. Joe goto. Joe goto's great guy. They he you know announced publicly is going through a divorce with his wife and you know, just couldn't mentally or I guess didn't just want to do the show.

And and so they're going with with just the three of them. I guess didn't just wanna do the show. And so they're going with just the three of them, and I don't know what's gonna happen, like what the episodes are gonna be like, but I know it's just the three of them. So, and truthfully, because you know me, I'm in a fucking wild mood today, I've had too much coffee, I would spill some beans, and just, you know, I don't know anything.

I truthfully know, and I wouldn't even ask Sal. No, I don't really, I don't wanna share it. I don't wanna share it. I figured they broke up, I want to make I met a hung with one of them Who's really cool? Why don't they slip you in there where this guy can't do both with a little thing? Crime your lawsuit. I'm sure you know, you know lawsuit with who? With a with them Media conglomerate Because I didn't want to do a second season television show

so then you got a little thing called a lawsuit yeah coming at yet and you just get hit with an email and then you like that's a big number can afford it and and and and and and then you say hey well light bulb just went off i changed my mind can i do a season two and they say too late fuck, you're getting s they lock those contracts. But there's a way to do it.

But there's also a way to do it and get out. Correct. Not getting sued. You get, you suffer from exhaustion, anxiety, or waste, you get run in the cell. Yeah, well, the problem is, is I yelled on my podcast. It's not enough money for me, motherfucker. Like, I was yelling things like that.

And they're citing some of the things I've said on the podcast. Yes, such you're a high-end show and make more money on my couch bitch and then yelling out the producers. So that was a little wild. What was the show? Well the thing is I was told by the lawyer not to mention it and it's not so let's not put off the air I'll tell you it's just to show about construction and And he was the he would fill in and do King of Thingway's filming that here. Yeah, you have to rush Yeah, so so it was eight hours in network. I don't tell you I can't say anything But I'm trying to get you in trouble. No, I can't tell

I don't want to get any more suit that I actually have no, but you told us it all before that I was yeah I know but no, no, the truth is is I you know, it really was. Like, my girl, you know, I have a six month old daughter. So, you know, I thought if things could be in New York, I would do them in New York, no problem, but to leave for months on end with a six month old daughter with we bought a house, my girl doesn't drive. Like, I was like, this is actually, I cannot do this.

Like, and so, so it's genuine, like a truthfully, like a real family issue. Where was the show show? Here, it was originally in LA, but my family was here, my girl was, I cannot do this. So it's genuine like a truthfully, like a real family issue. It was originally in LA, but my family was here. My girl was my dad, Airbnb, and he was pregnant. That's what he's on. Once you had the baby though, we thought they're gonna do it in New York and I could be home and then,

but I can't leave for three, four months with a six, I just can't do it. So that's really truthfully the reason, but I was told not to talk about it and not even mention it up even the slightest, but I say, what are you, am I gonna sell less tickets? I can't, there you go. You can't get any worse than 7% of the room.

In today's case, we can turn it into chaos. Right, yeah, in turn anything into ticket sales. Anything, dude, that's what I do with that daytime shit. I'm like, because I remember I did the Wendy Williams one and one of the people I was on the show with, because Whitney Cummings was hosting Wendy Williams. And I mean, I was like laying bombs out there, like fucking bombs.

And the crowd was like, what? I mean, the makeup people like just get out of here. Because I mean, they were jokes, like I was doing fucking bits, you know? And I was doing jokes and they were like, you know, you have to take things seriously. And everybody gets like a pause break so over there for saying bullshit fluff. I was like, I'm trying to do fucking jokes here like about what a

nightmare, you know, it must be for Travis Barker dating whatever Kardashian, he's like, just then they're talking about how nice and fun it is. I'm like, ugh, get out of here, you know. So, so I was just trying to do comedy. And then one of the panelists on the show, because it was bad. She, she called me after and she was like, you know, so so I was just trying to do comedy and then one of the panelists on the show because it was bad She she called me after and she was like, you know I've been there before like this software about bombing. I was like lady I'm gonna take these clips and they're gonna get hundred thousand views and I'm gonna sell out the beacon

Because then you know her tickets were you know she can't sell a 300 cedar and I'm like you You're lost with entertainment like if you're going to take that shit seriously that's not real it's not nobody's buying tickets to a comedy show you have to do comedy all the time yes even if it's uncomfortable yeah yeah so so I'm like that's what I'm never going to fucking sell out and be like oh let me just because I'm on this show and they're sending let me just hear what they want to say was like, no, I'm gonna do the fucking jokes. I'm gonna yell, I have warts. And it's like if it bombs it bombs it bombs it.

Have you ever seen when Bobby Lee or Segerre, Mark Norman did like the, the show that, and at the time, like I'm sure everybody watching the, especially the news anchors were like, what the fuck? Yeah, it has. I don't know how many millions of views of just laughing or asses off that. Yeah, but the viewers is a funny Bobby's great

Dude yeah, dude, you want to talk about ticket sales Tom Sagora. I don't it's weird to me people don't you know his residency in in Las Vegas Oh does there a plane and He's like dude here in Vegas. I'm like yeah, where are you? He's like my mandalamic. Oh, I'm at wise guys. Yeah, I'm here every month. I have a residency I'm at wise guys again here every month. I have a residency. I'm like, okay. People don't realize. But what Tom did besides besides Logan. He's what he did is what the thing I think we all are doing and continue to do is put your hand put your career in the hands of your fans and then you're safe Yep, that's what Tom did. Yeah hands of the fans. Don't give a fuck about all this other bullshit I think listen if it comes it comes, but it's like I care about my fans and my fans only that's what I'm doing this for I don't care about all this other bullshit. And listen, if it comes, it comes, but it's like, I care about my fans and my fans only.

That's what I'm doing this for. I don't care about all this other bullshit, you know? You don't need to be there. I make everything a part of the show. I've tried to be like, everything on the Chrissy K.S. podcast is a part of the show. Whatever happens, we bring it in and we talk about it because I don't know, it's real life.

I don't want anything to be like staged or manicured. I don't feel like we don't live in a, now like everything's been exposed. So now I'm like, let's just, everything's, everything's, everything's been exposed, but it's being more and more exposed. That pretty soon, there are no secrets anymore. Even celebrity, like the whole idea when I was coming up celebrity was like,

you saw it to Nero in a real situation for five minutes. For five minutes, once a year, I had no idea how he dressed, right? You had no idea about his political belief. Nothing. I feel about vaccination. Right, now.

Now, we're like, oh, you're a fucking regular dude who haven't made belief for a living. Take the fourth wall down. That's what this whole podcast is. And now it's like, I'm not going for generally famous or I appeal to everyone. No, you gotta go niche. You won't make it. As big as. No, you gotta go niche.

You won't make it. As big as your niche, you know, try to get your niche as big as possible. But it's like, I almost love that I can in certain markets sell tickets, but also remain pretty much anonymous because it's like some of my peers, you know, some of my peers who are really like

old school television famous, they hate their, they can't walk down the street, they can't do anything. I can still sell tickets and give my family the life that I wanna give them, but also remain, pretty much keep my anonymity. Which is a beautiful thing. They don't give a fuck, I'm not important up, but I'm still going, I'm still going, ready for this.

I'm still going, if it's 2000 miles or less, I'm going first, 3000 miles, economy, and your legroom. So, you know what I mean? You know what I was just saying? It's just an extra legroom for a thousand pounds. You're up, I'm going economy middle. Because you're up, what can you do?

You're up, I gotta go business. Not at all, I'm saying where I'm at financial. No, I have no idea. I have to stay. Yeah, no, listen, you know? I gotta be, I'm W, 2012, but good. Well first, first, first, take it by the way, to Europe will cost you 10 grand a lot of times.

Yeah, if you want to spend 10 grand for five hours, six hours, or maybe 11 hours. Yeah, all right. I mean, sometimes, or you can spend a grand for like, you know, comfortable, comfortable, what, economy premium, this is- Economy premium. It's hard to spend an extra nine grand for that,

I feel like I'm getting mad. That's what we do. We do economy premium. Ready for this? Here's another Chris and Eddie idea. Going to London, economy, middle seat, we're gonna do a glass of wine and an ambience. That's the show, patreon.com.com.com.

And he fucking light it up. There it is. There it is. It's a big surprise. You're gonna be a drug addict by the end of the year. My family has actually had an intervention with me and said, you know, we know you're doing the Chris and Eddie show and you're having fun once a week.

You take some type of substance, an edible mushroom, and you drink a 40, which is fine. It's great, but you're not like this. You've never really done substance or drank anything before. So we were a little concerned about you. Give me more ice and wisdom. And I said, I said, listen, mom, you're not my mother anymore.

The Patreon is. I said, that's why I fucking back out of the building. That's my Lord and Savior. I said, my's who I fucking bad. That's my Lord and Savior. I said, my Lord and Savior is patreon.com. So back off. Back off. She said, yeah, no, you're having, you need to slow it down. I think you're pushing things down.

I said, well, you know what, mom, you're right. And I said, you know, mom, you're right. I said, mom, you're right. Nobody knows me better than you. I mean, I came out of your body. And yeah, it's actually, you know, mom, you're right. I said, mom, you're right. Nobody knows me better than you. I mean, I came out of your body. And yeah, it's actually what I like to call cry for help. So you know what I'm doing. So you've only done, we've only done edibles,

mushrooms in the 40s. And then 40s and then we smoked a little weed. We smoked a little weed once. And then we are gonna do a method. No, not method, nothing like that. You're not big of a show you'd have tried meth. I'm gonna do a method. No, not method, nothing like that. When you're on a big of a show, you'd have tried meth to meth.

I'm gonna trick a forelock. You don't need to do meth. Don't do meth. No, no, no. For locals, for locals. But not the pussy for local. I mean, to trick a forelock. Have your boys get the original forelock of that kill people?

I don't think they have it. You can find it on the dark. For locals, about 40 hours? No, it's a special drink. People die from it. You can still get the original one. That's what we'll do. Extreme drink.

Have them search the dark. I'll do that on the $5 tier. There you go. Original for low. But you're not a drinker really. Yeah, that's the caffeine content. No, honestly, sometimes on the Patreon we don't do Chris and Eddie show,

but once in a while when I'm gonna, sometimes I just, to be honest with you, I like taking an edible once in a while. I've gone to an age where it's like, sometimes you just need to calm down You know, is that why I understand? 500 milligrams of caffeine in the originals right people on hard coffee is that So how many milligrams in a coffee is it one?

It says 156 for hundred and fifty milligrams in a tall small coffee one sixty for Starbucks Yeah, so what are we doing so 500? We're doing about what three coffees? Hey, how much caffeine's in eight shots of espresso. That's why I drink Every morning I drink so you could probably handle that five five hundred that would do nothing Yeah, dump her on I take each shot hell of an answer you do So eight like a Four-time date is what you know you look like a little bit a bowling pin That's fair. You know what I mean but shoot but a sexy bowling

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You don't much care about what kind of coffee is on this coffee, because I'm a coffee. I go ice coffee black and I was told I did Cincinnati. I was in Cincinnati for New Year's Eve TAF theater. Mr. Stella Paiber, that was truthfully 200. I guess that went by 200, but I was with San Volcano, so. Sure. So I was there, New Year by 200, but I was with Soundball Conno, so. Sure. So, I was there, New Year's Eve,

and I went into a store and I said, hey, can I get a black ice coffee? And the person behind the counter was like, excuse me? The barista. The barista and I said, can I get a black ice coffee? What? And they were like, don't you want to change that tone a little bit?

I swear I got it. No, it's not a Seattle. Cincinnati. We, and I was with no. It's not a Seattle. Since in Annie. And I was with Jasmine, who's Puerto Rican. And I said, I looked at her. I was like, what am I doing? And she said to him, she goes, do you want him to, are you like, I have a problem?

Because he's saying black ice coffee. She was like, and the guy was like, yeah, I just think it's like in 2021, like, no. No, he did. It's a coffee with no milk. And I was like, and then it was a white guy. And I was like, what? I was like, I would have punched him a coffee with no milk and I was like and then it was a white guy and I was like What I was like I would a punch him in that no, no, yeah, that's what you want to yeah, I wouldn't that's where you want to just

We're in shadow remember I went to that hipster cap store and go You know especially like the capital, you know the capital street. What's it called? I can't ever get it's like the main area where like the gay areas that There's like no Google at the there's like trans people walking out whatever. I go in a coffee shop and the the barista, whatever make coffee look like me, but had long hair, black fingernails, I didn't think of it.

Makes me the drink, nothing around. I go, hey bro, we see him is strong. And he turns on and goes, bro. And what? He was bro. You mean mess? I go, dude, if you don't give me a fucking straw I swear to God and he gave me a straw. Did you get did you say I was like do I swear to I'm not playing this shit dude

Give me the fucking straw man. He gave me the straw. I walked down like do you believe that shit? It was right but but also like on the name tag it said like bail It said like Dave like a very name. And there's no pro like, if on the name tag, if it had a dress on, the name tag said whatever pronouns are her, whatever she, then I'd be like, hey, whatever, could she hand me a straw? I went this respect them. It's just narcissism.

I was like, hey, bro, can you hand me a straw? Look like bigger beard, like beard down the beard. Yes, so if we're gonna really go with the truth is whatever you say it is, then there's no truth. We can't get offended if this- Especially if you didn't know. It's logically, it's logically impossible. I'll obey the pronouns on their name tag, you know what I'm saying?

But it's logically impossible to fucking- But how would you know? Society. So I met this coffee guy over here in this milk cross. And I said, I love how his hair is, I love the way his hair is a kid that's long hair. And he said, her. And I went, okay, you see, now that means I'm old.

And she looked at me and she goes, it was a guy who transitioned, and he said, you're totally fine, You're doing great. It's just a new thing. And it was like, I appreciate that. She's taking care of me. She's appreciated that. Because this is an answer.

It was the way to do it. Who realizes that this is 15 seconds old, it's 15 minutes old. This is called transgender thing. It's 15 minutes old. And I don't have any issues. Did that turn you on a little bit? Huh?

Did it turn you on a little bit? Can I be honest? I have zero issues. Can I be honest? Little have zero issue with it. Can I be honest? Yeah. A little bit. Like, yeah. I mean, look, here's the thing. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. I'm a straight, Chrissy. I'm a straight guy. I know straight man. Right? You know what I mean? I'll admit that it is. Oh, no, no, listen.

I have deep feelings of kinship for friends. Yeah. You know, he and I love my boy right here. No matter what, he knows this. He's like, I sent him a video me get, I'm having this procedure done on my leg to fix my hamstring, I said it. He sends me a video back,

it shows the football game, like yeah, great game, it was great. And just rubbing his dick through his sweat. He needs to see what I'm working with. Yeah, right. And I just need to know, he also, I know what time it is. I know what time it is.

But you need to know, but you forget sometimes what time it is. So I, I remind my friends, now, now here's the thing. Here's a lot. It's Sunday afternoon. It is a lot, and it is a lot. And it's probably pushing a little year with your family, you don't need that.

Now here's the thing though. I do. And here's what I have to say about all of this. I told you that I spend time with Tom Cruise. I had one-on-one conversation with him for an hour and a half at a party and we were really talking and Not only that I had done a reading with him. No, I'm telling you. I had done a reading with him We're like six people in the room and we had all our scenes together for a script called a men that never went

So I felt we talked about wrestling Dan Gables wrestling camp I felt like I had off your friendship and and the best part was he goes you were great in that reading tell me thank you I've told a story before you were no you were great in that reading. Tell me thank you. I've told a story before. You were great in that reading. Your timing was, you were great in that reading. I'm telling it from you, man. He said that 13 times. Now wait, so I'm talking to him,

and we're talking about it. We had our kids the same age. And I went, I remember thinking to myself, and Orlando Bloom was there too, and he said, hi, he was very nice to me, and I said, I would, if nobody's looking, and Tom Cruise wanted to make out with me, I don't know how I would say no,

I'd be very, I would, I see, I was so star struck that I would do that, but now that's, no, that's peer pressure. That's peer pressure, don't want to be like it. Don't, I want to be like it. The looks, there's no pressure. No one's looking, no, no, no, nobody's looking at it, house of my career. Right. Now when I see a lady, just sign up for a man who's a lady, like you know, you and I know that one coffee gal,

who you speak, I, remember in the old studio? Breath taking. Right. For just girl. Thank you. Now, man, though. Oh, the Brazilian man in a dress. Now, breath taking.

Now, if you don't think there's something about it, you get something about it. Look, I'm not attracted to my man in a dress. Now, breathtaking. Now, if you don't think there's something about her, you get something about her. Look, I'm not a track, but my can be broken. I can, if there's more than a second round. There's nothing else around, and I'm drinking,

maybe I'm a little tutored up. You never know, I can be broken. Yeah, if you brought her on Chrissy Kass, I did streams with you. Yeah, I did kiss her. You know what I mean? I like, I, and that, but that's, to me, that might be because she's very feminine.

Right. So I think I've said this many times on podcasts before, but the way I describe myself and it seems like you're in this category is I fall in love with men, I have sex with women. That's where I'm at. By the way, So emotionally I'm more connected to men.

You know, I don't have sex with a woman. Yes, you know, you're by. Yes. No, because I've I don't have sex with a woman. Yes, you know, you're by. Yes, no, because I've never knowingly had sex with a man. My joke is that- What happens when you're unconscious? You're unconscious. Yeah, this is wild.

Here's my joke. Here's my joke. It's not even a joke. I've seen men, you and I were weird on it. When we saw that black dude who was running back I think for the giants where he had a shirt off and I went, there's one I go, if someone more first and asked me if I'm a pro athlete I'm gonna buy a shirt say quarkly was it say quarkly? no it wasn't good that's a good example

good example. that's a good example. I don't know what's the ham's oh bro. so here's how I saw him on the fly. yeah he goes guy like that's big dude you don't know who that is? yeah say one. I go he's the best running back then I fell when he's healthy then where's that little loopy earrings? he's just not pussy, I fell when he's healthy. Where's that little loopy airing? He's just not pussy now, but when he's healthy, the best. But a guy like that, all of us have seen a man with a shirt off or just in a pair of shorts, who's so breathtaking that you don't wanna have sex with them,

but if you had to rub them down in oil, you would see them posing. It'd be kind of a field day for your hands. Like you'd be like, these are goals. You'd be excited about it. Yeah, you'd be like, this is, these are goals. You'd be excited about it. You'd be like, he, whoa. Look at this. Just because you're looking forward to it.

Well, all his, you'd say to yourself, look at all his bits and pieces. Yeah, but I saw Guy in Manhattan Beach. Yesterday was one of those tightroats, he had nice big thighs. And I said, I want to sniff his butt a little bit. Well, that's push-fine. Yeah, push-fine.

No, but not that. I said, my question for you, would while you rub him down, are you having a erection? No. No. No, no, I don't have an erection. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's okay. That's just an appreciation. Yeah, you got a lot of nooks and cry I'm comfortable with who I am Chris. Oh, there's a character on my podcast Chrissy gas podcast TT Jerry who's transgendered My Jasmine my girlfriend's godfather transgender. She's transgender person a little 20 years in prison Love TT Jerry. So she was in for twenty years twenty years

right this on a sam and everything now t-t-jerry see here you go now when t-t-she's wearing that dress and all that night t-t you know she doesn't look too different from the mother of my children now the light for a moment cups of you know what i mean girls with so much

i don't know how i dare you i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i. I'm so sorry. How dear you. How dear you. I will say they're both beautiful. And just the thing is, it's like, oh, I didn't realize Jesse Raya's commented. Whoa. Hello. Who's that? Well, she's a big one.

She is. Yes, she is. Oh, hey, she has a cock I'm in. So, so I, yep, yep, we can get off this This is probably watching all right here. We're gonna. Um, so so um, yep. Wow. That yeah, wait So she's You're gonna be on your girlfriend gets chosen. Oh yeah Yeah, the rat oh

God, you can't do anything. You don't fuck around. That's that's when you have a Latin lady saddle She can't do anything just set don't fuck around. That's when you have a Latin lady. Sandal, you can't do anything. She'll set my cards on fire. But with TT, with TT, by the way, TT hilarious. TT was talking about life and death the other night with us with me, my kids went to sleep with me, Jazz and TT, and she was just saying like, the thing is with a person like TT,

Jerry, what's so beautiful about her as a human being is she wasn't incarcerated for 24 years. You know what? She went to, you know, was a grand larceny theft, this theft, and then she kept what happened was it's in prison, she kept getting more. But she had the five o'clock shadow there. Sometimes she, you know, sometimes she's fucking,

she straddles both worlds sometimes, you know? Like the other day she went to go pick up my steps on, she was wearing one of my sweatshirts and jazz and high heel shoes. And they wouldn't give her my steps on rightfully so. So we have to call this company, and she's fine. Ah! That's your sister's uncle.

This is my girl. That's her godfather. That's her godfather. That's her godfather. So right there. And now Godmother, but she's a beautiful person. And she said, I spent so much time incarcerated for different crimes because she kept getting put, getting added more prison time when she would do things in prison to get,

like for example, a guy kept coming to her cell and putting his penis, his flancid penis over into her cell and she was like, I don't like this, like this is stop doing this. And then one day, he put his penis over the cell and she cut it off or cut a tip of it off with a tuna can. Oh, okay. So yeah, okay.

So you can't, so you got a her. So you got a her. So you get solitary so you get solitary You get solitary for that. Yeah, another instance where a security guard He said was you know really like a solterer and being a you know really not nice turn all the stuff So what she did was she took a couple of days worth of shit and piss she put it in a vulture scan and she shook it up And she threw it in space. Yeah another two in solitary for that. That's a tough. Yeah, so so she so so then Jesus Christ Yes, you keep that right. I think I'd rather have my dick cut than have prison fight Shit and all that it's just two days old. She just kept letting faster the folders can't so so she have a man in prison

So here's the interesting part one of her on and off again boyfriend If there's on the podcast with the son of Sam they were in the same prison together She's a pretty simple baby burglots.. David Berkowitz hung out with him. It was her on and off prison boyfriend and then we had a guy. Shut up. No, well, because at first it's hard for us to, you know, verify things, but then she told us the prison she was in. He was in that prison and then we had somebody because certain inmates get privileges of

social media. So there was a guy a murderer in there. I cheat or something like that. I forgot. They message the homeless P that. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot.

I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot.

I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot.

I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. He said that she said that they were selling like Sharon a wall and what she would do is put on like little skimpy outfits You know like cut her pants up and make like little thongs and he she would let him hold a mirror out And she would shake her ass a little bit he would jerk off to that that was you know, it's like I want I'm and she likes bad bull she told me I said who is crazier son of Sam or or Defeo she goes Defeo by a landslide I said really she said to me this was Two years ago. She didn't go to do all the murders, but yeah.

But she said that before the Netflix documentary came out. I think, yeah. She goes, he didn't do all those murders. And we were like, whoa. But then she said Defeo, she said Defeo was a true nut. He's Amityville Horror House, if they made a movie about it. He killed his entire family and said the house told him to do it. Every day, she said, he passed away recently.

But every day, you would talk to him. She would bring him his coffee. She would like go get his meals from. She was like his little like prison girlfriend, like prison wife. She said every day I talked to him and you know, it's the same thing. Hey Ronald, how you doing? He'd be like, hey, how you doing, Jerry? I just wish I killed my grandma. Like that, like he every day, he would say, just wish I killed my grandma. Like complete. No, he had to, no, she played basketball at two-pock, two months before he died. He was in Rikers Island.

Then he got killed. She was playing basketball. She said he was mad, cool. Everybody loved two-pock. Of course. She was like, I don't think that everybody loved him. Even everybody was happy. She was in Rikers for a while too.

She was in Rikers for a little bit. Yeah, she was in Rikers when Lil Wayne was in there. All these things. She sucked off son of son of son. I can't get off. I can't get off. Yeah, and was in Rikers when Lil Wayne was in there. at that time. They're like, he's fucking real. They were like, everybody else is fake. Bullshit. Jerry was like, as an inmate,

you know, we feel like we're from the streets and whatever, we felt like Trump was saying how it was. And that's why people were dead, Matt. Too bad they can't vote. Too bad they cannot vote, which I think is bullshit. They should be able to vote when you got out of prison.

But it's, she's fascinating because she told me, when she was talking to us, she was like, you know, I'd be so happy because the way my life started was beautiful. And if I die tomorrow, the way my life ended is ending is beautiful. She was like, because of you guys and the podcast and all you've done. And we were like, yeah, like, oh, she was like, oh, my God, it's so beautiful. And she's like, don't, don't cry for me, Chris. She goes, I'm gonna still be sucking dick in heaven.

I can tick in heaven. I was like, she is. She is. She is. She is. She is. She is. She is not ill, but I think she just feels like, yeah, I don't know. I think she just is like, hey, if something ever happened to me, I just want you to know,

I'm happy. I don't know why. She just brought it up out of nowhere. Well, it's hard. Yeah, she's 50, 70 years old. That's tough. I mean, you want to talk about it. I mean, come on.

I mean, come on. Pull up that picture with the thigh right there. I mean, what are we doing here babe? This one you know, no, the like a little something like that Go down a little bit go go click out of that one. Yeah, I mean come on. What are we doing with the purple dress? She on hormones. She was on hormones She was on hormones, but then when she got out of prison They stopped at the hormones, but that's why we'd say it every week at Patreon, patreon.com, so 50 comedy, the portion of the patron goes to continuing her estrogen therapy.

So we've been pumping her, we've been getting her estrogen back and we use some of the money from the from the Patreon. So thanks, this was in my apartment. Oh, no. I know. And the children were sleeping in the next room. And you know, just get a little dick shake for the camera.

Yeah. And she's tucked back there. And she still has the dick. Well yeah, I mean right here it looks like a vagina, but what she does is she tucks it back and then tapes it back and it made me so pussy. That's a person who truly feels like a woman. No, you want to talk about what I love about her is she is because of the life she's lived. The minuscule bullshit problems that we have, but she's not worried about.

Even when me and my girl were having issues, she's like, you two are putting yourself in prison, voluntarily. Oh boy. She's like, get the fuck out of here. Putting yourself in a mental prison. She's like, I was in actual prison, solitary confinement. She's like, get, stop putting yourself in prison. If it's gonna work, then make it work.

It's not gonna work, then go on with your life. I like this one when she looks like Chris Jenner. That's a good person. That's a good person to have around. She's you know what is she rep? She represents the truth. He's so a real Christian. Oh, it's not an easy life. No, that's a tough good. Two chees on solid. Two times in her life. Solitary can find it for two years. Yeah. Only the light of day. First meal, 5.30 am, if you're sleeping, you miss it. Second meal, 11 am, if you're sleeping, you miss it. Last meal of the day, 3 p.m.

You have to eat it then. If you cannot, they come in an hour after each meal and search for contraband, you can't hide bread or anything, so TTC said she was like, what I would have to do is she's like, I would have to put food out my ass and then shit it out, clean it off and eat it. She was like, I have to live this way. She was like, so this do is she's like, I would have to put food out my ass and then shit it out, clean it off and eat it. She was like, I have to live this way.

She was like, so this is what she's like, so I was really in solitary confinement. She said there were many times where, you know, I would get angry, yell at a prison guard. They don't, you don't see anybody for two days. You don't need for two days. I bet mentally she's strong as a person. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. When you talk to her, you realize like your problems are fucking bullshit. That's like, you know, because you should plan to her about your theater ticket sales. Yeah, she was like, she said the same thing. She was like, she was like, she was like, you know what's crazy too?

It's because I was like debating, John A. Light on my podcasting. John A. Light. So this funny. That's a good question, isn't it? John A. Light, it's a good question. That's a good question. John Gotti's henchman.

So they say though, killed, well, because a lot of people like Sam in the book say, So this one is a question. John A. like that's a good question. John Gotti's henchman. He killed. So they say though. Well, because a lot of people like Sam and the books say, I never heard of the guy. Well, but a but I mean, there's pictures with A. Like and Godd and all that. Like it's all very. He really did you time in prison killed six people with a baseball. There's no joke.

Killed six different people. His weapon of choice was baseball. That's a picture of him with God. You had him on the pod. So he's out of prison now. John A. So he did time in jail and you know convicted murderer and he read it you know he opened about it you know cooperated to get less prison time. Snitch. Yeah so John A. Light. So John A. Light he goes that was God's son.

So John A. Light he came and did the podcast in the house and you know, Jasmine was like, why you would have convicted murderers in the house? I said it's for the YouTube. And so, but anyway, T.T. Jerry and John A. that were on the episode together and they're both swapping prison stories. And this is the only time on my podcast. Yes. The only time on my podcast why I had to, I had to delete.

No, no, I had to delete stuff because normally we say we don't edit. We just go in and we roll. Did you edit? Huh? Why did you edit? because they started sharing stories together of who they knew in prison And it came to light the TT Jerry had sucked a couple of these Italian gangsters dicks And you don't want that heat no when a lie told me after the party goes, hey, you know It's your life. You're whatever you want to do. It goes. I'm just telling you if any of these guys Even though we didn't say their names get described and they can figure out who's who, you will get killed for that.

Because you're gonna get killed for that. And I was like, and I was like, holy shit. But Jerry was going off. She was like, yeah, and they were like, oh, I know that guy, and this and that. But, you know, because she was like, she's, first of all, what Jerry told me, she goes, she goes, everybody comes into prison

and says they ain't gay. And after six months, you gay. That's what she says. So everybody's gay. She goes, you got about six after six months, you gay. That's what she says. Everybody's gay. She goes, you got it about six months and then you gay. I give calendar to you today. Yeah, no, I mean, she's got a, two days, Brenda.

Yeah, well, she told me, she told me in jail, she was like, look, because I asked her, I said, if I went to prison, what would be your advice? She goes, I would say you were trans immediately. She goes, I would start asking for estrogen pills immediately because then they're gonna move you to the transgender part of the jail, which is a lot safer. They're probably not gonna hurt you

and you just take a little estrogen for a couple of years. She was like, maybe you'll like it. You're gonna go to prison. You're gonna go to prison. I'm throwing them anyway. I meet in muffins every morning. So what's the difference? And so maybe it occurred my appetite.

So that's what her genuine honest advice was. And the things about listening to someone like that, just talk about prison and what it's like, and her life is the most minuscule thing she's happy about. You know what we say? You try to tell your kids, oh, there's kids who don't even have food, but they're like, I don't know what you're talking about.

She genuinely is like, I am happy to be breathing fresh air. I'm happy that I walk to the street corner and you know i see the hot dogs out of my ass yeah do choose to do that all the time she would hide she would hide the hot dog what she did she actually told a great story is she would get the um... they used to hurt last thing is maranda they would call her jaylone prison but they said that the security guards everyone calls her jaylone prison the security guards would have to get every time they would give breakfast sausages they caught on they couldn't give the breakfast sausages because they were sausage links to Jerry because what she would do was she was upstate

prison around the Buffalo area at a capricin so she would go up there, she would she had a little shelf at the top of her cell and her window could open a little bit, she would open up the window, stick the sausages things up there, they would freeze, now they're a dildos, so she would you know she would you know, she would, you know, get the dildos up her ass, and you know, sausage up her ass, and she would, you know, you know, make everybody come with the dildos, and you know, you can't do that, even though it's fun. Sure. So, what a tough one.

What a fucking rough, you know, a while Buffalo in Attica Prison. Attica is where they, like, that is, when you think about a penitentiary, like the worst penitentiary. Oh, right, because the highlight of your day is freezing sausages so you can use them as dill, low, gray, weather. Great, well, out of jail is the worst. The worst.

And I mean, I'll do great things. I like Buffalo, but great things. I like Buffalo, I like Buffalo. Great people, but. So she, but she had, you know, she comes on the show and she just represents like this, this other side of like life where you're like, wow, like you're so fucking interesting

and she's funny without even trying to be funny because her story's all like, wait, what the life that she lived is fucking unbelievable. Like, hold it. Get back to A-Lite. Now, hold it. So get back to A-Lite. So A-Lite is, he was with the Gambino crime family.

He was a hit man. There's no doubt that he seemed to have killed and enforced a lot of the rules physically. Yeah, so Gambino family. Yeah, but he was, but he was never gonna be a made man because he was a manian. I'll be a manian. So he's a nice guy.

So we became, like, you know, is he a tall guy? I'm tall. He's short. Short. Yeah, I'm a tall guy. But, fucking was short. Short, yeah. But you know, and but fucking Jack, do you wanna talk about a handsome man? Holy shit. I mean, when you sit by him, you're like, wow, we, you know, suits dress.

Wow, we, that's him right now. That's him right now. He'll fucking beat, I mean, he's a big guy. I mean, he was a boxer. He's 55, he's a hellhurt, yeah. He'll hurt you. You know, so but he told me when I was, you know, I was talking just two weeks ago,

we were talking and he goes, I was telling him about my agent. I was, you know, I was talking just two weeks ago, we were talking and he goes, I was telling him about my agent. I was like, ah, I kind of want to go on my agent. I said, but, you know, it's hard to make that call. He was like, send an email. I was like, I can't send an email. That's a bitch movie goes, Chris, I killed people with baseball bats. I'd send an email.

I was like, I was like, he was like, he was like, don't add any extra stress to your life. Just get out of it. And I was like, yeah, dude, you're, right? He didn't murder or just saying, he's. And I was like, yeah dude, you're a fake, you're a faked murderer, just saying. He was like, just send words, because everybody, everybody thinks you're a tough guy, because you got to call, you got to do a face face, because you don't. Just send an email. But why is there all this talk about whether or not this guy was really this or that? I have actually never heard that.

I have heard that. I fully believed his story and he had to answer that. No, I just heard. He was funny, because we didn't ask him questions. Home the spin was asking good questions. Like you ever like in the middle of a kill or, you know, getting rid of a body. I'm like, you have to take a shit. He was like, yeah, he goes one time.

He goes, whatever, they were somewhere in Pennsylvania. They had killed somebody and they were like, you know, putting his body away in like the early 90s. He was like, I had to take a shit. He's like, and I just took a shit. I took a shit right on his body. Right. All that we threw him and I just took a shit right on his body. He goes, I didn't mean disrespectful to the guy

He goes, I can't have my DNA out there So I had we already dug a hole and shit and I just got his body the fucking hole and I was like and he was like You know, he's like I don't want my shit out there next you know a bear comes up each his body I'm getting caught and I was like and I was like wow did that work out for you goes not really He goes that's one of the murders they time me to from the DNA from my shit He goes I didn't realize that shit DNA lasts a long time. Holy fuck. Yeah.

God. And how long did he serve for those murders? He served 10 years, I believe. That's a long time. Yeah, but it's like, you know, it's all cooperation and role. But honestly, man, the podcast episode was fascinating. I, you know, he was saying like some things that were like, I mean, look, he's got a podcast too when he's right to book and

It's funny man. He's a 10 years. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, can't be no wait. He only did five though Yeah, this guy. I mean he's okay He's forever is forever is so there's no doubt. He was I've gambino. I don't know what the fuck I think it was he had a beep with Samy the boy he told me and he said to he was like he was like and there's no like you know Not that there's no more mafia, but he was like he was like hey goes he goes you know the way people get me goes he goes yeah It goes he goes you know one of the goddy brothers sent me a fucking computer virus last week That's how they get you back

He goes they sent me a fucking they hacked my Instagram. I lost so much at a 30,000 Serious you didn't even think it was funny. So that's how they fuck with you now. Yeah. I was like, this guy's hilarious. Well, does he know why the mafia was it just a combination of like racketeering laws and also just social media? Why the mafia what? Why they go away? Why they go away? He said the Rico out here.

It's hard to shake shit down. No, Rico. What about with the unions that they still control the dots? To that, but he said as far as once, once Giuliani started for for it once it became federal law that you know if you're a mob boss you're the mob boss and I commit the crime you're going to go to prison for it destroyed it yeah so he said then and then once once the head of the family is out then you know the disordered leadership because he said he was like look he said he said I don't mean to be respectfully goes but you know a lot of the guys that you

work with they're not smart you know goes, they're pretty dumb guys. And he was like, so if you don't have a boss telling them what to do, he goes, they just get themselves in trouble right away. So he said, so it's very much like these guys will come out on the street and commit a crime immediately. Like, so he said, he caught up.

He said, so it really can't exist, but he said it does exist now in a digital way. Like, there's a digital thing. He was like, you know, like, that's where they're trying to get in the river. That's like it rush whether it's not really, it's easier to get away with it. Well, no, no, no, no, he told me, I said, is there anybody to watch out in New York? He said, the Russians.

He said, the Russians still, he said, they do things a little differently. He goes, you do not, you do not want to piss off a Russian minister. Yeah, it goes because it's relentless. He said, they'll come at you. It's like years hundreds and thousands of years of just like they just warfare Like he said you do not want to fuck with the Russian because I asked him. I said was anybody ever afraid of? And he goes there's a couple of Russian guys that I was like, you know I feel a little uncomfortable around them. Oh wow But he said the thing is with the guys like that is you know, they'll send your body, they'll do it slowly.

It's pieces, they have no emotion. You said they'll kill you with a coat hanger, they'll cut your tonsils out. They'll do things like that. They'll rearrange your teeth. It does do stupid shit. They get very creative, they'll skin your kneecaps. Just things you're like, what?

Come on, he said it doesn't hurt that much, just annoying. You know what I got to skin up my kneecaps. You know, guys, I've had a fucking, oh. Oh, so he was like, you don't want to fucking pain. You know, but it's been, it's an interesting, but that's what I love about doing the podcast. It's got these characters, man, where it's like, you know, Eilai reached out to me,

or his manager, or someone. You tell him you think he's a fraud? No, I would never say that. I don't, I'm, listen, I just, the first thing he said when he brought me here, you know, that guy's not real though, I'm very crisp. He was a thing online with Sammy the Bull and him, because I watch, I listen a lot of the same to the Bull

and he, but then Sammy the Bull said, I'm not gonna say anything, but obviously, A-Light was the real deal, obviously. But he reached out, his people reached out. Well, there's another guy over here that, in California, one of the like the top, top guys, Michael, he has a huge podcast. Michael Francés, yeah.

Francés, he was a real deal too. Francés, a real guy, and he's out here in California. Who is he? Yeah, he's out here in California. He strikes me as a very intelligent guy. He's super smart. Yeah, we think we're making money on a podcast. This guy was making $30 million a week

on a gasoline scandal. $30 million a week on a gasoline scandal. 30 million dollars a week. Very, very, very good. He was a raccoteer. He made a lot of money. He wasn't even a gangster. What's that show I went on with that Patrick Beck guy? Yeah. So he had Michael and Sammy the bull sit down and talk. Yeah. They said Michael was just a beast. Super beast. Yeah Super beast. Yeah, he's into Jesus. Very smart guy though, very, very smart guy. Yeah, no, he's 70 years old by the way. Yeah, it looks pretty damn good.

Yeah, they're like, what, but you like digital superstars? They're different stuff. They're digital superstars. Well, he made, that's the thing. It's like, when you can make money and you're a businessman like that, it's like, it doesn't matter.

He just, he just adapted to the internet. Correct. He's a whole-time millionaire now off his, this, this, this, this is like when Will Smith was like, oh, and scrambles the new media form. And then, and then, blew everybody out of the water. All-time millionaire now office. This is like when Will Smith was like, oh, and scrams the new media for him. And then blew everybody out of the water. Yeah, yeah. Is that what we're doing now?

That was the original gangster. Yeah, originally. I've never turned on anything. I think his dad, what was it? Was it the look? I forgot what crime family they were. They were the, weren't they the banana family? No, they were vintage chin.

Whoever that is good. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Sunny, French, yeah, sunny, French, whoever that is good. Donald, Donald, Donald, Donald. Sonny, French, yeah, sonny, French, yeah. He was, did a more mafini. Well, everyone says that guy, that guy was the guy who had never turned, he was the old school original gangster. Like, oh, he died in 2020. Wow.

In New York, or what if he died in prison or if they let him out? I don't know that he died. Did he go to prison? Did he just born in 1917? Yeah, that's a lot of time. He had to have one to print. He sent himself a 50-year rule. Did he live to 103?

Holy fuck. You generally have 30 to 50 million dollars. Oh, this federal in Maine, the United States. Hold up. And the only centurion dude, he's got this cost-eat time. Hold on, check this out. Be the associate producer of a bunch of movies.

This thing is ours. He was Texas Chainsaw Masker, which earned over 30 million Unbelievable, they're over 30 million he invested 80 thousand dollars. Yeah, yeah, he's father said to him We commit a crime 10 seconds after that crime if you ask me anything about that I'm gonna tell I'm gonna look at you and say I don't know what you're talking about Yeah, yeah, there's a hundred crazy thing. What a great fucking run. I gotta go do a dating podcast now. You do?

I don't know. There's a lot of miles or something like that. I don't know. You do a dating segment with TTT. We did. We had a couple of people reach out and try to get a date with TTT and we're actually gonna pick the winner at February 5th at the beginning. May for the date film. So we do a huge thing and we're gonna we're actually gonna pick the winner at February 5th at the day for the day film it

Do we have a couple get married from Keynes thing we put together We got married. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Do you watch sports? You watch Santino was with fucking home from the Kansas City Travis Colesys house after the game. Playing beer pong with patch moan homes. Damn, fucking guy. Yeah, I'm a big, I love, I'm a giant's fan, so we stay.

You guys are fucking awful. Dang, are you a Niners guy or Broncos guy? Broncos Rams. Oh, okay. Rams, yeah. Rams, I was, I was in a... He posted it on his IG, too. Yeah.

You went post on his website, you know, no, you said podcast right no no Did you see podcast no, no did I say podcast I heard No, you said I'm doing it. I gotta go Santino Santino Santino posted. Yeah, so yeah dude, but yeah, man, I don't fucking know yeah look at Andrew baby right there Kelsey, yeah, that they became good friends So I'm grass to my boy two days Whitney Cummings just comments on everybody's fucking people are thirsty out there, man

I thought there's a fake picture to be honest. I thought that was not Andrew's that you know Yeah, that's how I did laughing thing. I thought it was someone else that looked like him I know right and actually that look he looks like like he's got stuff in his cheeks like he's I'm like a side hands. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he looks older. The pandemic that's People are like oh, you did it with it. I thought it was fake. I thought it was like a real look alike. That's why funny. Wow All right, baby I gotta give some curve. I gotta go. I'm sorry, baby. Oh get get it go now yeah, look five minutes five minutes I'm supposed to be there two o'clock. It's a lot of everyone at Villeau John Nick Villeau the Villeau files

You know what? You're gonna have probably dumb idea down. You're gonna be super late I would you do that because you're already gonna be really late and what you're gonna have to say is you got COVID You got some aches and pains not a big deal, but it would be with them. Yeah, it's so close. The law files. I just do any show. No, I got it because I had a manager, and that manager said you got to do this one because you got to get a non-comedy audience. So, I normally, what about you?

What about you're a fucking manager? You need a non-comedy audience. The浪. I'm sure it's great. Nick has a lot of daily spins. So he likes to think he knows what he's talking about So the bachelor. Have we never heard of this one should I not do this one? I'm reading the that pop it's gotta be a big check if it's a big pot or not. I don't know I don't we check it. There's a video. Is it video?

I'm gonna use it again. Let's see if you can't check YouTube because like if you look at like that Shepherd's podcast or Mark Marin, they're not on video. No, so if he is on video, we'll save what it's on video. So they said to come camera ready. So he has 50,000 subscribers. Okay. And not amazing. $2,000,000. Not amazing.

$7,000. Well, keep scrolling down. What was the show have? $109, right? Payment. I mean, summer hitters and summer night. I told him that we'd fucking be there. Well, you should tell him to go to the town of COVID.

Tell him it's gonna be late. Should I tell him I got eggs? Just telling you got some eggs. No, I would say. Who's gonna listen to this podcast? Personally, personally. No, we can edit this out, but I'd lie. No, that shows not being at all, dude.

I mean, it's 50,000. I'm sure he's a good guy. Well, see, that's the thing, though, too. Like, I'm not gonna name names, but that's the thing though too. Like, I'm not gonna name names, but that's the thing too. Like, even like, I know this may be very inside comedy, but that's the thing too, even with managers and agents. This has appeared to be a thing like,

they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They don't know, shit about the fucking hour and a half to this and no disrespect that, but it's like, it doesn't help. It's not, I mean, it's on the tickets on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no, no, no, no, I have no manager. I've gotten rid of that.

I've been seriously angry. I have an Like, no, no, no, no, I have no manager. I've gotten rid of that. I've been seriously angry. I have an age, well technically right now, we got a gap in time, baby. But I have, I'm making a decision tonight. Okay. But if you don't go see him, I'm gonna fight you. You're out of your mind. If you don't go against him, you're just,

I'm gonna fight you. You're out of your mind. He works with me, Tim Dillon. What are you doing? We'll see. I give him some events so he can get out of here. Yeah. And go me, Tim Dillon. What are you doing? We'll see. All right, give us an event so you can get out of here. Yeah. And go do that.

Like it. I know. I know. Man, well, you know what this is. So this is a sad one. Louis Anderson had passed away from cancer at the age of 68. Comedy store original. Never met him.

Great guy. I was, did a couple of shows with this. He was a great guy. I did a show with him one time. I did a show with him one time. A benefit. And I've never seen this before. Actually, my friend Sam did it once,

but he wept on stage talking about his mother. My mother protected him and his brother and sister from his tyrannical dad. Jesus Christ. His dad just got drunk and beat him. And she said she protected us. And he was hilarious. Then it was, this was a benefit for a battered woman.

Jesus. And then he spoke about his mother and wept on stage and then brought it back to a fucking comedy. I remember going, I was like, this motherfucker can really do something. We talked for a long time about that. I was like, I've never seen that. Good. All right, Louis, we're gonna fly through him for a long time about that. I was like, I've never seen that. Good. All right, Lewy and she got in. We're gonna fly through them for a good. So,

gay man, Lewy Anderson straight man. Yes, very gay. Very gay man. Oh, is he? I didn't know that he was a gay. Is he out? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He played out with Brian Callum. He's never seen a mask in the face. He played. He played, no, he played a woman. He played that. He wasn't transgender. You play it. No, he played a woman. He played. He wasn't transgender. On his TV show. Yes, he played his mother. He was a woman on it.

He played and he does an incredible. Yeah, he won a bunch of awards. Oh, fuck. Okay. Play it. You don't know how you're doing. You don't know what you got Mark Cuban? Yeah, so Mark Cuban recently opened up his own pharmacy online where he will put up the

price of generic drugs and then show the markup that his business is going to put on in order to sustain the business. And he's showing that a lot of these pharmaceutical companies are marking up their products to 100 to 1000%. I love capitalism. You get a guy like this who comes along and goes, fuck you guys. Go up a little bit so that's the potentially changed the way like pharmaceutical companies sell their drug I think it's a good idea what's your good ideas like that of course because a lot of times they

repackage schoenonchens we'll look at that it says uh... no scroll back up for example akumia drug it's price at $47 a month on Mark Cuban's thing compared to $9,000 retail. Thank you. See, that's a beautiful thing about a guy like a Mark Cuban. Like when you have all that money like that, you can really just tell the insurance companies, no fuck you, I have more money than you. It says the Mark Cuban generic average,

at least 100% some cases 1,000%. And this is where this guy is taking his money and making the world a better place Yeah, I fucking love that I love Mark Cuban. They come in as in love Sure as clans and cars customers pay for their men. They're motivated by pharma, bro They got that piece of shit. Oh wow. Scrooly. That's cool. Good. I like it So a man in the UK Has this weird thing where he'll go and grind her and

In the UK has this weird thing where he'll go and grinder and set up consensual sex dates with different men. He would then after go onto his grinder profile, change the bio to say that he's an escort and how much he charges by the hour in order to blackmail these men. If the men do not pay him what he wants, he then- They'll put out that information.

To send it to their girlfriends, their wives, or boyfriends, people that they work with, or he threatens that he's going to have got me up. He was recently arrested because a few of his victims had come forward saying this is the man who has been blackmailing me. He arrested him while he was at home with his girlfriend. All right. Well, it wasn't guess. So nobody would actually know they would have sex. Okay.

So he would have. So there's a lot of. Oh, Oh, shot. You can't be extorted. The fact. Yeah,

can't be telling people why is the logo for Grindr a batman helmet? I don't know. I've never seen that. That we're all right. I yeah. Is that true? Oh, it looks like Groot. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it looks like Groot

Yeah, yeah, Grooter Yeah, it is grinder. Yeah, I mean Okay, God, I bet that app is yeah, do you ever go on it? I made an account as a goof once Listen nice people But you just get a ton of dick. It's all it's all sex the thing is nobody wants to have a conversation I made an account as a goof once Nice people It's all it's all sex the thing is nobody wants to have a conversation guys It's got they want to get Intertain conversation put your dick on there and you're doing pretty well, dude

Mm-hmm put that put your butt on there. I'll put anything on there I'll put a I got one of my my butt has a couple skin Brand-in punching you and then you just come oh No, right away. No just Brennan punching you and then you just come. Oh, no dude, right away. No, just put frozen sausages as your avatar. Dude, I know why I asked Titi Jarrett if she wanted to grind her count. She said no.

Why? Because she said she, she's like the got what she likes is to, she likes to hook up with men in alleys, men in that app, like she was like, she likes to be a little bit street. She likes the street of it all. Yeah. She's got a couple of guys like, she said,

she said, you know, she knows, she knows, because I asked her, I said, am I gay? Cause I feel like I'm on the fence a little bit. I feel like with the right wind gusts, I can be blown over. She said, no, you're not gay, cause you're so comfortable with sexuality. She's like, you're not gay. She's like, but a lot of guys, like the wound up.

She said, most of her boyfriend's in prison were have had full families. Like, they were like, you know, had wives. And she said, and even the guys in the street that most of the guys who have, they have girlfriends and wives. Yeah, the guys that are always that most of guys ships up with have there have girlfriends and watch Yeah, the guys that always like super anti-game like he's gay Yeah, the way we joke around we're clearly not yeah, I

Homophobic if we were in joke guys who are like that's gay, dude. Yeah, you're gay, man Yeah, yeah, like what demons are you fighting right like how I because I agree with you like you could put me in jail I've just not attracted to men. I'm just not. I mean, six months. I mean, you got a blood ass. Let's see what I have. Just that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, some of my,

some of my cheer teams, like, some of like the straightest dudes on, like, fucking, on earth, with fucking, but they joined, but they joined, some of those dudes. Yeah, because they joined the team, because that they're gay, and they, they were like, maybe I'll join the, it's like all flirting. No, like, I mean, they're all like, you said, okay. No, but those same dudes are married with kids now. I know.

But when they were cheerleading. But when they were like, when they were in the back of the house. Yeah, yeah. That's so interesting. I had this dude that I chew with, that was looking up with the football players, because it was a, you know, a podon town that we were in, you know, in Texas or whatever.

The cheerleaders would. The rail I would see. I would see. The football players. Yeah. So he said to it. And I would see football players walking out of his dorm room in the water.

As I'm going to get really? Yes. Yeah. I see. I don't know. I don't know if they're around that culture all the time. Nah.

You're either a track. And they're like, Dave, school, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nah, you're either a track and they're like Dave's cool, you know That's like that, you know, Dave can come in my life. Yeah, we got you. So a drunk Irish man was on a flight from Dublin to New York and he's currently facing 20 years in prison for moaning a flight attendant.

He was throwing like empty drink bottles at other passengers, very unruly. The captain actually had to take a break, go back to that guy's seat to talk to him, like, hey, can you calm down? We're almost there. And he proceeds to threaten to hit the pilot. So he's now facing one of the kids. No one is swallowing his ass.

Now be, you're on that flight. Yeah, I'm fucking like that. So I get to my destination. Is that what you're doing? 100% I live for that moment. Yeah, yeah, cuz I feel like if you're on that flight You're you're taking that you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna put him in a nice squeeze You're gonna grip and I assume everyone's gonna applaud. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna get my nice grip down Yeah, I'm going Instagram life fucking point. I don't want to listen to me meaning Chris and Dion go hey Get your camera. You have a head camera you're coming up behind him and see

about them what are you gonna do now I'm just I'm getting his neck you just gonna go and go you're gonna take some of that one do you just gonna put that pressure on that can make him like to ask him to choke him right out just right out just bring it up you ever been a fight a yeah couple fight yeah

yeah maybe three or four you see like a fighter I'm two for two someone say one and three I say I'm two for two, some would say one and three. I say I'm two. Two is for one. One is for three is for one. Oh, what? He's an athlete, he's an athlete, he's an athlete. He's going down. I say it.

What's that flight? That flight, I mean, it sounds fun. I mean, honestly, like I would be hysterical laughing if some Irish passenger started just starting moaning everyone, hit the floor. I've got hit by a bar. It would be fun, yeah. It makes time so much fun.

Yeah, you're right. Until he bullies somebody or tries to. That's too much. That's my problem. Until he hits fun. Yeah, it makes time's fun. Yeah, I tell you bully somebody or tries that's too much That's my problem. Yeah, that's who he is racist. That's right. Don't be bullying otherwise. I got to fight you Then I'd get involved. Yeah, I do want to keep doing more or he has Get out. I got to change my home. Okay Look at that. Send me a text community. Yeah, dude, you know, oh what shows yeah Yeah, there we go. There we go. Atlanta. Atlanta. Yeah. Atlanta. Seven and ten o'clock. Bogota. Bogota. We're sold out. Beacon. We're sold out. Washington DC.

Warner. Tabernac on Atlanta. We need you know. Atlanta DC. We need help with Royal. Royal. Royal. It's doing good. Hey how about this good news for Royal Oak. They just said today at that theater and all of Michigan, no vaccine mandate, no COVID test. You can come in like it's 2019. You just walk in, no masks, whatever you want to do. So that's good news for Royal Oak. Some of the fans have been saying like, you fucking vaccine mandate or you don't have a vaccine mandate. Royal Oak is like it, like the pandemic never happened. So come get tickets. That's March 4th. March 4th. Nashville, Tennessee, right?

Yeah, all over. What's the fucking logo? Thanks, dude. Wednesday is Shobin' Friends of the Hollywood Improv. 20 tickets left. It's also Bryan Cown's birthday. Wow. We don't have some savages there. It's gonna be a good night.

It's Bryan Cown's birthday. The big boys coming out for that. 20 tickets left. Hollywood Improv. One show, one at only 8 PM. And then Atlanta, Georgia's February 3rd to the 5th. Sacramento just won on sale February 24th through 26. Tickets at FATKZ.com. You can watch the last Cowbats fight command. You'll see 270 crystalia, Brian Calon at myself right now. And we have food truck diaries with sugar

shawne is out right now in thick boy. And then we have a huge guest doing a food truck tomorrow. So keep you guys posted. Las Vegas Nevada, me and Sam Tripoli, diversion amusements, we're doing two shows. First, he's gonna come up with a conspiracy theory. I am going to debate him. I'm gonna try to debunk it. And then we are doing standup together,

diversion amusements, Las Vegas, Sam Tripoli, February 19th. Appleton, Wisconsin, Skyline comedy club, March 3rd to the fifth, Louisville, Kentucky, Louisville comedy club, March 17th and 19th, Appleton, Wisconsin, Skyline comedy club, March 3rd to the 5th, Louisville, Kentucky, Louisville comedy club, March 17th and 19th. Miami Florida March 25th to the 27th, my favorite place in the world.

And then February 25th and 26th, I'll be in Kansas City, Missouri, at the comedy club of Kansas City, and then March 10th through 12th, I'll be at the Blue Room Comedy Club in Springfield, Missouri. Well, fuck yeah. Christie, we love you, brother. Love you, babe.

Don, it was writing a script the entire show. Don, don, don, he's like a legend. That's what it is, dude. It's like a good man. See you, see you, go see him, folks. We love you. Bye, baby. I love you.

Folks, I love you, I love you.