The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 789: Milk Me!

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

The guys talk Cain Velasquez breaking his silence, aging gracefully, Netflix's The Ultimatum, Chin's 45th birthday, Brendan getting his bunghole violated, cheating stories, Gilbert Gottfried stories, girl who tried to glue her hand to the court at a Clippers game, why Elon Musk didn't join Twitter's board and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I want total human optimization on my brain. I need stuff from my brain. I need help. I need stuff to sleep better I need stuff to digest better. I need daily support. We know that is on carnivore diet So I gotta take the digestive enzymes with every meal You gotta break down that red meat talking about it dude. Oh, and then I tea on it. Yep. You're on it all the time I'm on it daddy. I always got some alpha brain going. You always got some. I live off alpha brain. It's krill oil. Yep, krill oil. The immune support collection I need it,

because your boy's been sick a lot this last year. Definitely wear your mask, we have to out there. I've had every variant. Yeah, the keto collection, they have the summer collection, gut health, which we swear by here. Nutrition, we got coffee for your ass. We got way protein, protein bars, MCT,

oil, health bars, warrior bars. We got it all, man. And fitness gear, we got streaming fitness, home demand fitness programs, club maces, steel maces, quad maces, primal bells, kettlebells, sandbags, battle ropes. What else you want, man? Everything get your thick ass in shape this year.

Come run a tough month and get your thick ass and shape with on it on it dot com slash fighter 10% off on it dot com slash fighter 10% off We got cupcakes in front of us. We got cupcakes from whiskey. It says happy birthday killer. Well, we got One other person in this room without a birthday. Happy birthday killer. Oh another person in this room without a birthday. Happy birthday, killer. Oh, I can't believe it. And you know, chin ye, what, what are you doing? Chin yees.

So he's always, you know, on the weekends, it's always pretty. Oh, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe what you did there, large bodies of water. Large bodies of water. He gets stonked.

Yes, whatever that means. Yeah, he's always very mischievous. You're the boozamistry mystery what Chin does on the weekend. Yeah, we got we're taking your birthdays on Sunday, right? Yeah, 17, 17, and you turn how old? 45, dude. Holy shit. I know we're doing Christmas and Pride.

I know it's telling you 10 years apart. You look good for 45, man. Thank you. Oh, I'm not 45 yet, so. I hear 45, you know? Hey, let him get in on the Sunday. Anything for you, BD? My, let them get in on the sun. Anything for you, B.D.?

My girl actually planned a trip to the Great Lakes and she got us a sprinter camper van. Yeah. So we're just doing like a quick three day trip. How far is that Sunday? Chicago-ish? Where's the blizzard? Or Michigan. That's all scared of.

There was a blizzard. Apparently it's dying down. You're going to drive from here to the shore? No, no, no, flying. So she's got tickets to fly there and then she went to a sprinter done for three days and then we're way campgrounds. You fly to the old places so when you kidnap people, you know, that's yeah.

It's easier than that. Is that how you get your bodies? But why is it, why are you up there, Chip? She just wanted to plan something cool. Because it's good fishing and camping. That's what I love to do the most. It's just the two of you. Yeah.

And you never been up that way? Never. The Great Lakes. It's pretty cool, but it's gonna be super cold and windy, so I don't know if it's gonna be good. It's nice. We have a van. We have an actual sprinter van.

That's deck pole. Yeah, you got a sprinter van. That's a fun. I get it. Look, that's a nice and cozy. That's a van she got. That's a van she got. Oh, that'll be fun, Chin.

People are tricking those vans. Yeah, they cost a lot of money. Yeah, it costs a lot. It's like the new tour bus. They're Mercedes sprinter. And you're going to be spending your entire day in that event. Yeah, four four day trip, which I love that stuff though.

Do you make you don't take dookies in there, right? No, you shouldn't there's a bathroom in there. There's toilet, but you should. There's a toilet in the sprinter. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, you can blow up your. Yeah, that's why you shouldn't do that. It's shitting in there just toilet, but you should get there. There's a toilet in the sprinter. Yeah, yeah. Oh, now you can blow up your bathroom.

Yeah, that's why you shouldn't do that. Like, shitting in a fucking ass. Damn. Look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is.

Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is. Dude, look how nice it is.

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You and I are pregnant. It's gonna be tough to get. It's tired. It'll be pretty tough. Tough to get. Yeah. 45, just crazy. We're five.

No, dude, it's a trip. Make sure you don't get that toilet paper wet, but you will, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, they probably have, no, it's protected. That's a little plastic on it. Yeah. Oh, so you rented like, it's like an Airbnb site.

It's like, just like that. Yeah, it's like, I think I'm gonna- I think I'm gonna- I think I'm gonna- I think I'm gonna- I think I'm gonna- It's like a Airbnb site. It's like just like that. Yeah, it's like that cos more dudes 300 something a night That's actually not bad similar price to something. Yeah, but I mean think about hotel. I'd be a cheap Airbnb. Oh, okay. Yeah, that'd be Rough Airbnb. Yeah, you get some pretty good aerobics where you're going for that No, I want to do this though. I'm the outskirts of Chicago Yeah, you're doing it. Yeah, outskirts of Chicago. Yeah, Lake Erie.

That's where I'm going. Lake Erie. Oh, you could find some. You could find some. You could find a house. But this is what I want to do though. That's what he likes. Yeah, camping.

It's not your birthday. I can't even make an invite. It's not saying anything. I heard that. No, I understand. It's all good. Now could we not go to Big Bear? On our way out.

Oh, you've already done that. We've done all the places, the places. So your dream is so this is your dream. She planned this I didn't even think about this different fish. I love it. Yeah, raw life Her sister's sister camping as you I know I'm lucky. I'm super lucky. Yeah, no, I don't Balls even camping what you would have afford she loves it. She loves it. She loves it. Yeah, yeah No, no much you got her into it. Yeah, you guys She loves it. Because you love it. Yeah. What do you do about it? What do you do about it? No, not much. You guys, you got her into it. You guys bond.

We bond, especially over stuff like this. And it's just gonna be you two. Just us two. So it's gonna be a little bit challenging. It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be,

it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, your tent or wherever and the forest cannibals come for you.

Forest cannibals, you mean here? Just stripped. No, just the people, you know, they're those hill people that sometimes... Nothing West Virginia. They're not Chicago, that's West Virginia. You never know. You never know, they want to come. I'll be ready.

You're stripped. You're by far the youngest, right? Oh no. Christian. How old are you, Christian? I'm 20. I'm 23. And you're still under 30, right, Kat? Yeah, I'm 26.

You're still young. Super young. Yeah, you started here, young. Yeah, I think it's my four year working here, like in August, 2018, yeah. That's a shit. It was like 22, 23. That's awesome.

That's amazing. Been here for a hot minute. Hot minute. Chins been here for a hot second too, 45 now. 45. I made you a 39. So that was pretty old as it. That's what I walked up to you as a 39.

You can't tell. I know, you can't tell. You really can't tell. That's awesome. I thought you were 42, I don't know, you were hitting 45. You made like 42. No, I knew he was in his 40s, but I thought he was 42, I know. But that's like the line I know, 45.

That's kind of a trippy place. Oh yeah. Five years away from five. I know, that's crazy. Try 55. I know. But you look great. I can't believe it.

Like, I swear to God when you meet other people who are 55, you're like, first of all, futures here. Second of all, you're like, you feel like- You're like, you're like, you're like, you feel like you just got, you don't know how you got here. You both look at each other like, I know. Oh, okay.

How the fuck did this happen? Why say 45? It's true. It's in the most 55 year olds, like, you're fine. Well, probably, but still 55, 55. And effort, yeah. What's that saying? The Red Queen problem, they call it in Alson,

Wonderland, in my kingdom, you have to run as fast as you can just to stay in the same place. Like as you're when you're older, you don't understand that analogy, that doesn't make sense. No, you're gonna have to break that one down for me. Think about it. Say it again, say it again.

In my kingdom, you have to run as fast as you can just to stay in the same place. So, you know, you're always, when you get to a certain point at an age, you're always moving. Every day, you're getting closer to death. You're getting uglier and weaker in a way, right? Like your body's breaking down.

I'm gonna who you are. Yeah, so you, but there's a point where you have to just, like, it's not like I'm gonna work out like a motherfucker and next year, I'm gonna be in better shape. I'll stay in the same shape. Oh, got it, like this is it. And this is it, this is the point. You've got to find time.

Time is your enemy, you're fine. I'm gonna get any better, any worse. Everybody's fighting time though. Everybody. Everybody's fighting time. But you still at 40, you can still, you know, you're okay, at 45 technically, your times will be better

in a tough matter if you really push yourself. Now, because you losing that gut. Yeah. Yeah. He ain't got no gut no more. But as you get older, this something happens. It's a little bit. Wisdom. Yeah, letting go of that.

There's a lot of positives too. Letting go of shit, you been holding on too. I think it's weird when people are like, don't want to get old and like get like upset about it. Like, say your age. Who cares? I know who's on to it. I think it's weird when people are like, don't wanna get old and like get like, like upset about it, like, say your age. Who cares? I know who's upset about it. I mean, well, watching.

There's people that get, people that fight it, like with, fight it. Botox, like watching Madonna try to stay young in a very clumsy way is disconcerting. It's crazy. Well, it's, it's, it's, she's a mess.

Her ass or face. It's, it's, it's just the, go to her Instagram it's she's a mess her ass or face. It's it's it's just a good Her Instagram look at yeah, no no she's 65 now. She's old now. She's 71. No, she's not 71 I mean not far from 65 though. She's not like she's a young lady 63 okay, go to the grand now you're 63 now look at look at this. It's the strains is strange your shit okay it's tough to tell on uh Instagram the filters and shit I know I mean she does look pretty well that's probably a filter their cat yeah it's definitely a filter

what is she doing here she's blowing kisses It's definitely a filter. What is she doing here? She's blowing kisses. Her nostrils are shitting. She has a big filter on it. It must be really tough though when you're at that high. And that's her son she adopted.

Yeah. Yeah. It must be really tough though when you're the freaking on top of the world with your looks and music and stuff. And like you just don't wanna give it up. But that, that, that, that, that, that, that went away, Baba. That went away 20 years ago.

Like, you've gotta let it go. You've gotta kinda figure out a way to, yeah. You gotta figure out a way to transition into something else. You feel like she's trying to do like the same thing. It's this weird, we're just like fighting. Look at that life. Yeah, like come on.

I get that you're doing everything you can, but you're not that age. So you don't even think you're doing it. 63, she looks pretty well. Of course, but it's weird shit. She's still trying to- She's gonna go back. But these are a lot of things.

Is that an ad for the Hellcat Dodge or did she steal the logo? Where is it? Where? The one you just clicked on. Oh, was she sitting down in the chair? Yeah, she said next. Good thing.

Do you want to race me? Let's do this. Let's do this. Go again. Oh, that is a picture of a Hellcat. That's a Hellcat? Yeah. It's really cool.

That's a great logo. Oh, dude. That car is a bang. That's amazing. But it's got, yeah, it's hard to get That's a great logo. Oh dude. Oh that car is a bang. It's amazing. But it's got yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it's hard. These are all filters. I'm just saying that Strange way to try to stay relevant. That's all. Yeah, the ones that age gracefully. Yeah, especially older guys or women Yeah, it was with her. Yeah, you could I'm like guys, they start... A Pierce Bronson?

Yeah. A Pierce Bronson. But Madonna can almost be like in a position of wisdom and older where she could, she could kind of like, you know, part of being older at that age is to be a teacher, to be, to be an example of, I don't know, grace. But also, almost she could be happy. She could be doing that. I don't think so.

But just because I think she's such a radical narcissist that it's still about her. And such a narcissist that she can't see how insane this is. You don't think she's probably happy with what she's doing. I don't think there's anything called happiness there. I think there's only this strange ambition. It's like you don't have to look like a tick-tocker. The race is over and you're sitting there in your Ferrari And you finish first place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you said it's definitely definitely first place You keep coming back to the god damn race

Yes, and and also being mean to people like Lady Gaga critical of them and caddy and it's like it's very strange Well, it's because Lady Gaga. It's her time right sure So yes, she's probably the hurt he goes like who the fuck is this bit? Yeah, you know, it's because Lady Gaga, it's her time, right? Sure. Oh, so, yeah, she's probably, her ego's like, who the fuck is this, but yeah. You know, it's fine, but it's just, it's just, you see, I think anybody who does that, that's it, we know that's a losing battle, right? We know that it's losing battle. You can rage against the night.

They call it raging against the night, that's fine. You don't have to rage against the wrinkles. You rage, you know. Raging against the wrinkles. Now, I don't mind a little bit of work, right? Or either. No, you don't have to rage. You don, right? Or either. No, you're done. You're done.

You're done. You're done. You're done. You're face up with tatlid bowtops. Maybe a little bowtops. I couldn't get fillers. I'm not going to. But I'm just saying if you did that,

I'd get it. Right. But when you're doing that, you're doing like everything and your filters and your, and your, your braids and your dressing, it's just this strange, this strange sort of like rage. It's like this, no, it's like, you know vampires

when they die, they take everybody with them. They're like, ah, you know, it's almost like that's how it feels. Man, let's take a break, dude. Let's take a break. We take a break, we've been talking about milk in each other. Can we get a break from that? Sometimes, you get a break from that.

Look, you need a break in general, and you need a break in life. And I'll tell you something else. You know what I need is a good mattress, because I need a break to get some rest. Your biggest break is at night when you take your rest, you gotta get 70 hours a seven hundred and a half hours. But I do too.

You run it hard, I run it hard, I need a bamboo. You got anything else? Like helix, sleep mattress? Dude, I keep telling you, you can't take that, that stray bamboo you found in the back yard heap. I know. You can. I keep telling you you can't take that that stray bamboo You found in the back your teeth. I know you can't do that and you can't sleep on hey I need to talk to you about helix sleep. It's a helix mattress. They are the they you basically take a quiz Yeah, so too many quiz dude. I did I did the quiz I did the quiz. I'm waiting for my mattress

I took a too many quiz. I got soft mattresses. Yeah, dude. However you sleep, firm mattresses. Dude, we're not talking about you run of the mill mattress built for every Joe Shmo out there. It's built for my thick ass. If you sleep hot, they got something that cools you. Okay. Dude, I love it.

And you know what? I don't have the Helix mattresses. They're all my guest beds. And I got my mother-in-law, father-in-law, my dad, my mom, everybody trying to stay with me. I'm like, wow, they must like my company. Nope. They're just like my helix sleep mattress.

I sleep in one. And you're a plus size sleeper. I'm a plus size model. I'm a plus size model. You need a big ol' they need something and you probably sleep on your tummy. I don't know. I don't want to get personal. I'll sleep on your tummy.

If you sleep on your side, if you sleep on your tummy, if you sleep on your back, you've got the of my top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top.

I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top.

I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll see you on the top. I'll tell you all he wants. Why don't you, hey, I guess, I guess GQ in 2020. Ever heard of it? Yeah, when Helix is the word of the number one best overall mattress pick of 2020. And Wired magazine said the same thing.

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Wait, Dolly Parn is is on Nadi, yeah? New. No, she's not. Dolly Pardon is next to me. But she seems like she, but she seems like a little bit of well-rounded, straight-mitting interview back in the day. She's a man.

Yeah, I get surgery and my partner is more surgery in the future. Yeah, but she seems like she's pretty cool and like, she's so cool. She's a good eater. Yeah, she's a class. She always looked down on us being like this country girl. She always kept her ledger. Yeah, but she's a fucking song writer She's a doggy fuck. She's she's a she's out a lot of work incredible songwriter. Yeah, now she's a lot of work Yeah, I will always love you

When he's written so many songs. It's crazy. Jolene, she's a hell of a raiiing. She's a huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge. She's so cute. So talented. Also, 10th for day. God, dog, get your titties up. For a dittit, a playboy, playboy back in the day.

Yeah. Did the days, did the days. Always classy though. Always, no, she's very, very classy. And you see these guys we call her a country pumpkin and things and the way she would handle those interviews was astonishing. Oh, she's a monster. She's a monster. In a great way. Yeah. And she's been with the same dude for ever. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, there's just something different about her. You know, there's

Dolly world. She has like her own Disney world. Her own. Yeah, it's like, I think Tennessee or somewhere about shit. I think she's been married to the same man for, yeah, 50 years or whatever it is. That's him, oh, but, well, he's not fighting. You just, let it go. Isn't it interesting that Dali Parton somehow, we don't have the same criticism, Dali Parton somehow seems in many ways to be,

I don't know, she's still in a way she delivers herself. We still, she's classy. Yeah, that's the way she delivers herself. We still we're classy. Yeah. This is the way she delivers. She's setting that she's an older woman. Yeah. Whereas Madonna is not doing that. Dollywood. Dollywood. Dollywood. Dollywood. If you see, if you see some of the other pictures of Madonna, I'm fucking theme park. Yeah. They think about dolly. She embraces like even like the new culture.

Like, uh, so the way my dad Yeah, the way my dad will she allowed What's her fucking face Miley sire to cover Jolene? Yeah, that's her daughter actually and Miley that's her god daughter and my Lee oh She's good She killed it Miley Cyrus is in Yes, no sister Noah can sing. Oh, yeah, Noah, Noah. Noah. Her brother used to be in a band. Metro station. Metro station, you know what I'm saying?

Noah's shaking the pop scene, right? Her sister? Uh, her brother. Is the punk, I know she's. Uh, her brother. What of them, I thought her sister dabbled in the punk world too. Noah's her brother.

Her brother did. That guy, Trace. He's like, oh, like, look at him. Oh. Jesus Christ. Oh, wow. He's alive. Jesus Christ. That's him. Yep.

Dude, when your dad sings, don't break my heart. Make you break your heart. You're going to be lost, man. No, he's doing good. I think he's not lost. Oh my. No, he's cool looking. Wow. Those tats are sick. Those are serious. A lot of work. Now on the left, let's not do that though. Yeah. That's all that's old look. Let's not do. I think that's, I think the one on the right is him now. That's him now.

That's him now. That is not do that. Wait, go to my side. He's just Adam 22. What's her name? Noah Cyrus. Noah Cyrus? Hold on, I don't know.

I don't know for sure. I think she just does. Yeah, he's a lot to take in. What is going on with this guy? Where? What do you mean where? What the fuck is going on? You get it?

Huh? But what is that rock star like? If you're a dad, that big of a rock star. It's a tough world of navigate. And your sister's a big fucking star as well? It's just you. So is that sort of like things, I'm not what they are, but I'm gonna do that.

They're all pretty just in the ink. I feel like they're all pretty successful. Right? I don't know. Yeah, in their own right, out to. In their own right, yeah. I mean, Miley definitely the biggest by far and I'm close.

Yeah, okay, the other ones are there. No, A, Noah's popping, is she? Noah's popping, not anywhere near Miley. Not anywhere near, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm actually, oh my god, they look identical. No? No. Similar, but, I love Miley Cyrus, I think anyone who touches Miley says something. Oh my god, they look identical. No? No.

Similar but similar. I love Miley Cyrus, I think she's. Yeah, yeah, I like she's sexiest. I bet she's really nice, he says, she just me, yeah, Miley. Yeah, I'm folks with Miley Cyrus. No one had a big hit too though in country. She did a collab with somebody who's a big hit, I remember.

But she's got a good voice cat. Yeah, she's beautiful. Oh really she writes really well, too Oh damn she writes her shit, too. Oh, yeah Jimmy Allen. Who's huge Jimmy Allen's huge? He oh this okay. Oh, B. I got a new show for you on Netflix. I know what it is Called the ultimatum. I just watched it last night. I'm, I went to bed at midnight last night watching for episode 10. I went to bed too. I didn't get to sleep. Oh my Lord.

I'm tired of my girl having to bed at night. Me and my girl have nothing to watch. I'm like, there has to be something on my... The ultimatum. So we go Netflix and it pops up. And I remember seeing the trailer after you watched Love Is Blind that that was the new show they were doing.

I'm like, I can't wait for that. Totally forgot about it. And I'm like, it's available. Clicked on it. Bro, this shit, it's all couples. And they, and one of the couples, you find these shows, I'm like, I'm obsessed with them. But so it's all couples, it's like whatever,

six or eight couples. Yeah. And one of them whether it's the girl of the guy, give the other one an ultimatum. Okay. We got to get married or break up. So they go up, this shows nuts. They go on this fucking show with these other couples,

but they break up just for the three weeks. They have to live with somebody else that they mix with for three weeks. Like another, like another, ooh. And then decide whether you get married or not. It's so awkward too. Is it? It's so awkward.

It's kind of a spoiler in three. Go ahead and spoil for me. Episode three is The best drama I've ever seen Because I only saw bro I won't tell what happens, but let me just give you the premises. Yeah, so they sit down at table with Nicholas Shae and his girl Yes, and they all have to make come to like all right. Yes. Who do you choose? Yes, but it's awkward because right the guys fiancee's there and he has to choose the other girl.

That's how why? I bet the producers like, what the fuck, dude? It is such a shit show. I mean, because I told my grandma, I can't believe they're even a grandos. And then, episode three, you realize that, that this wasn't a good idea. And the entire show hits the fucking shit show.

It's a disaster. It's a disaster. It's a disaster. And like clichés literally like like what the, like you can tell they're like, the fuck are we gonna do? So some shit happens that they weren't planning on. Well, cuz dude, think about this.

So you and your girl, you're not married, but you're engaged. Yeah, okay. Before the kid lets she goes, ultimate them. We're going on this show. Yeah. You're gonna be single for three weeks. If you find a connection with another girl

and you realize that you vibe with her better than me, I, that's fine. And while we're talking about now, it's all good. But then when you go into this, wherever they're at, you go into this house, or you go into this fucking hotel, and you see your girl talking with a giant athletic black guy who's answering and you're like, and you're talking about Jai and you're like,

oh, wait, I didn't think it was like, yeah, bitch. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no. And they're all on dates, but they're around each other. Yeah. I can't believe they've signed up for it. They're just trying to test the strength of their love, I guess. Well, it's ultimatum's like, hey, after this three weeks, we're either getting married or I need to move on to somebody else. Yeah.

But the way they cast it, there's one guy on there with this girl, and he just, you know, they go around, like they make the rounds, to see if they're a match. Yeah. And he matches this girl. Yeah. And I was like they go around, like they make the rounds to see if they're match. Yeah. And he matches this girl. Yeah. And I was like, there's no, they start talking, they're soulmates.

And the guy realizes like, oh my girl sucks, this girl's fantastic. Then they start living together, dude. Now hold on, hold on. Can I see you on the show? All right, hold on. Yeah, she's a lot. Oh, she's a lot.

Which one is that? Her fiance's great. He's this light skin red headed kid. His mom's a talent, his's a lot. Which one is that? Her fiance's great. He's the slight skin red-headed kid. His mom's a talent, his dad's black. He's really light skinned. She's a lot. I know that one. She's a lot.

Oh, she's hot, though. I like her. The episode three, she goes off. She says what? Everybody's thinking. Oh, okay. And you're like, yes, queen. Okay, so wait.

So just because I got to watch this, I was up till two in the morning watching the first episode. Now, here's my question. now. Oh, damn. Here's my question Yeah, she's great. Here's my question. Great person. Are you saying I like her? She might be my favorite But the other one has the blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah One looks like a Adele and she was a Exactly she looks like I told my girl. I went. Oh, look at the body Well my girl got mad at me because my girl my girl was like get off me and was like this I'm like I'm just saying simple. We're gonna think so black guys so my girl goes

Would you ever go on that show? I said let me tell you this right now if you can't do me with an ultimatum Before we had kids got made and you're like we are going to show to see if this works. It's too late How about long face? How about long face That's like call me big Bring up those orange Orange candies Why is this me I don't you this is these are facts, right? I don't want to talk about that's her face and you know what you'll see you up. So through what happens Okay, fine anyways, let me see this let look at my ex. No, buddy matches with my ex. No, buddy matches with his ex.

No, she's an ex. Not a very nice person. No, she's an ex. Oh, I'll face that up, nice person. No, not at all. She goes, I can't marry a guy who doesn't make more money than me. She goes, I'll tell you right now,

if my fiance doesn't come up with more money, it's not gonna work. Yeah, really? And the one guy's like, you suck, man. And he's like, I'm just not a track, you move on. It's hilarious. And she doesn't get it. Where's the, where's the, where's the, she's like, I'm just not attractive, move on. It's hilarious. And she doesn't get it. Where's the, where's the, okay, I'm not attractive.

And you know what, there are people, there are plenty of guys that would find her very attractive and like her. She's, yeah, nobody in this room. She's grating me the whole time, nobody in this room. Wait, let me bring up, she's tatted up in her body. You remember her name? Her body, oh no. See, down the road, first one on the left. Yeah. With the man, her name her but oh no see see down the road first one on the left. Yeah with a man her

Looks like like a skinny. Oh, this is her original dude. Yes, okay sucks, too. He's the Piece of shit really hold up go up. Oh, I know it's going on there this girl This girl I know it's come on this girl. Piece of shit real whore. I get into the house. I told my girl before anything happened on it. I guarantee she fucks this black guy. My girl goes, no, I can just smell the vibes of this one. Okay, here's a, she gets into that fucking thing

and she goes, oh, they hook up on this? Oh, it's like black.com. She, well, here's a thing. B lines towards this black dude who's handsome. But you can tell it's going down. Well, she is. No, here's how my philosophy on this. That guy is really sweet, and he's giving her an ultimatum.

I want to either get married or not. She doesn't want him. She's not in him. She's not. Guys, he's really sensitive, and he's very sweet. He's got beautiful eyes. He's a handsome dude. He's small and say they want. That's what women say they want.

Here's the thing. When men are that sensitive and they're that, like, women are the sort of family. He's real hands-seeing. He's overwhelming. Guys, women are holding. When we lose a truck, it's what happens is, they get lost.

They meet, then they meet, they meet a strength cat. They meet a straight, large cat. Who's this black dog? They meet a black panther. They meet a black panther. Where's he at? Now you got a domestic, you got a domestic puttlet home. It's cute, cute.

Then you meet a black panther. Then you meet, and all of a sudden? No, she's pretty though. She's pretty, she's pretty. I like her a lot. Now here's the thing. Here's what I'm saying. Okay. What about the black. She's a beast too. She just taught. Wait, her man's a tall. That's it. That's Tos right there. That's who the white girl went for. Dude, everybody goes for him. But he's the guy. No, he didn't go for her though. Don't tell me.

Sorry. I want to know what's up with tattooed girl. Long face. Shit. Damn it. I printed what you did on that. By the way, this guy's saying. So this guy, he's built like a brickshed house. He looks like a dude.

He's a nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice. He's got a good body. He's also a nightclub promoter. Oh, okay, okay. You know what he is? He's a fuckboy. He's a fuckboy. No one's wants to marry and they just want to fuck him. I think he played that ball. Look at a picture with the hat. Did he play basketball? You know what? That's probably a good guess, Brian. No, he's got a basketball tattoo and I think that's a better pattern.

He's a basketball tattoo. I mean, probably played it. There's somebody who was a basketball tattoo. He was like that. He was like, but I'll say this. Oh, okay. He's a handsome dude. He's a bit of a fuckboy though. Yeah, he go with something. He was like that. He was like, but I was a little bit. Oh, okay. He's a handsome dude though. He's a bit of a fuck boy though. Yeah, he's a fuck. He's a dude. The point is though, if your girl's hanging with him,

and they're just casually talking. And you've been, and you've been just kind of like, say, you're a regular guy. Yeah. Oh, he's, he's, he's, that's the small white guy who's handsome, but he's a, I'm posting, I mean.

Wait, so that the white girls do smaller? The night. Yeah, he's small guy, handsome, but he's just like too. Wait, so that the white girls do smaller? The night. Yeah, small guy handsome, but he's just like too clean. He wants to have to get made, have kids. Oh. And then it's, Big Diggs, it's a big Diggs day comes up in here. That's a big Diggs.

That's a big Diggs the size of fucking white. That's a small, big Diggs day. Either way, big Diggs. Dude, and they have to move in with each other. And so they have to say, Oh, shit. Like, three to after three or four days, no,

maybe hooking up. I mean, I'm on an episode four, but that white girl, yeah, she on it, man. She's on that black dude. She on it. Well, I could see that immediately. I was like, dude, you're gonna lose this girl. You are, it's all good, but she's not into you.

She was, I said the minute I said, I go, she's not into him. She also sucks. She's not very attractive. But she's, she's not in the ham. She also sucks, she's not very attractive. She's a asshole, I don't think so. No, fuck that girl. He's a better person than she is. Probably.

Yeah, this girl. Yeah, she sucks. She wants more or her or she's just not happy with that. They're just worth the wrong people. Yeah, so she probably doesn't suck just because she's not happy with that dude. Now she sucks. The show's doing a solid though.

The show could get into, cause he's gonna watch back on this, like oh my god, she's not happy with that dude now she sucks the show's doing a solid though the show could to get to because he's gonna watch back on this like oh my god she's a fucking monster cock cock look either way you find your way look at that that's where the right that is it looks like that was a spoiler damn it no that's obviously weeks ago they're not allowed to post right now okay yeah most reality shows won't get posted so be social media during that. So they got to pretend they're still together. Oh, she's just a little do we little do we know, but if you see enough first 48, she's getting

piped down right now. And it's not by the short king. You feel me? You feel that? Piped down. Oh, he's a shorter dude. Yeah. Yeah, I remember I never forgot.

I was with Jimmy Burke in New York City And there was like there were cops outside and the guy stand there, and the cops are there and I see the other the lieutenant comes up and goes what happened And he goes yeah, he's trying to climb it. It was a girlfriend's fucking window and he goes what happened? What's what was that and he goes I guess girl's with a guy up there right now. And he's freaking out. And the lieutenant looks over and goes, looks at the kid, the kid's just fucking like just,

like so old age. He's raging, he goes, he goes, girls up there with another guy. And he goes, yeah, he goes, try climbing up there. And he goes, yeah, he goes, you know, you can't do that, right? And he goes, no, but he's, she's up there.

You know, it's the other guy. And he goes like this, and he goes, she's gonna call, said he goes, she did your solids. And I goes, get used to it. She said, okay, used to it. Oh, thanks God. And they had to wait there while the guy walked away

because you can't come back here, okay? Jesus Christ. They're so hard. I felt like going over there and giving the guy a hug on the, yeah, that's life, brother. He tried to climb with the mother fucking shit. Look the way it's not wide. For me, if a girl... For the tuition horrors.

If for me, when a girl did that, if a girl just... I remember a girl... She thought she had... I was dating. We were dating. Yeah. She thought she had the phone. And I just...

I just hear her growl. I just hear back in the background. Where am I? It's so funny. hear back in the background where am I it's so far just see my shoes where my shoes grown boys see my shoes I swear to guys voices it's the deepest berry white boy sounded like he was a dragon you see my shoes where my shoes was that hey bitch see my shoes and she goes I think they're under the bed. And I just went, I was like, you know, I'm gonna do it. You just get this movement. And I was just like, there it is.

There it is, there it is. And then you know, she called me and I about, like later on that afternoon, you're like, hey, she called you and told you the truth. And all I said is like, oh, I said, she found you, did you get a shoes? Ooh, and she goes, ah, fuck, Brian, I'm sorry, that's my old boyfriend.

I don't know, I didn't know where we were at at and I was like, I got it. I'm still friends with her, but it was like, oh. But I'm not gonna hold that against you. If you don't like me, or whatever, I ain't, that's what it is. That's the one you're, you gotta,

you gotta get accepted. You gotta get accepted. I just accept it. I mean, if you don't like me, you don't like me. I'm not gonna try to control your behavior. Yeah, never Never control you have to control so you're that way too. Yeah, I don't get fun. No, you're not gonna control you do your thing Yeah, do you think do you think you find out something and you're like you know, I Remember you found out something

How long will do you do real careful will how we talk about find out do I? How long will it be real careful will how we talk about find out do I Wait girlfriend for a long time. He's got a girlfriend. Okay. It's a romantic when I was in Denver She comes him she comes to him First moved LA she made the mistake of having some stuff on a computer that was just it just kind of popped up And I've never I've never owned a computer. I just I don't want a computer Even back then before social media. I don't want a computer. Even back then, before social media, I didn't want a reason to just be online. I never had a computer, so I was like,

can I borrow your computer? She's like, yeah, no doubt, but she had a long flight from Miami. So I'm like, all right, cool. And then some email pops, I was like, bling, I'm like, I said like, XXX video. And I'm like, I better check that out. Gotta check that out.

I figured it was like spam or something. Gotta check it out. Ooh, no, no, no, no. Large Brazilian man doing some freaky shit with my girl. Yeah. Oh no. Freaky shit with your girl. Oh yeah.

Brendan just texted me. He was, ah, rough weekend. I mean, I was like, oh, well, I guess it's over. But even with like, what you just ended it after that, obviously. I was still hung out that we had a show back when I never talked to him, but it was what it was. She was a girl by the way. She was like so ambitious.

I'm so sorry, and she was like, we're also not together. I'm recently new in Miami. I was like, I get it, it's fine. Oh okay. A big Brazilian dick, I get it. Congratulations. Yeah, I hope you had fun.

Can we guys film it like? Yeah, who the fuck doesn't? I'm, I'm, I'm? Turns you on a little bit, but makes you feel bad at the same time. It was like, well, leave and never come back, but also send me that video. I don't understand why people film their shit. Weird.

If you look good, I guess, you know, I'd just be too critical. I'd be like, the fuck. You'd be like, you'd be like, you'd be like, you'd be like, you'd be like, you'd be like, you'd be like, you'd be like, the lighting, the light, the air. Tell me about it.

My oval face Yeah, there's been some tough, but when you're young you don't have perspective You know when you're young and you're when you're young and you're in love, dude Oh, you want in love. Where you? Man, we're together when I was in yeah, Denver for no it's up the trail It's a weird you feel you can't help it to feel fuck they if you want to build a life with somebody And you're gonna get married to them or you are married start to feel that energy and that's something Yeah, you find out the change

And boys in LA Pat Niles Murray, boy's Nla dating girls that type try to pin your ears behind Pin your ankles behind your ears and lick your bungholes. Got weird. Not a lot of weird stuff that goes out weird. Holy fuck. Like a very nice upstanding career ladies. I got snow. I got thrown into the deep end of LA hole.

Some girls would be like, look, you're a big man. And I need measuring tape and chalk to find out where I am. I want every inch you. And when I say every inch, I mean, let's start with the old Mud Whistle. I hope he doesn't. He's like, and he's like, and I'm in his new house. We just had fucking dinner and I'm giant. What are you doing?

You also fed me chili. You like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like, you like Daddy

I'm stuffed with chili yeah, I like You play it with fire let's listen your big guy Get on all fours like a cow Yeah, you play a pro football five-year-ci Five-pack-old fours. I'm five-two. I'm very small woman. Let me grab those big old ankles and I'm going to push them right over your head. You find a happy spot on the wall to look at and I'm going to go to town. A lot of experience. A lot of childhood. Yes, fun. A lot of good times. You have good days like those, Jenna, you're 45. Anybody push your legs up like a Lamborghini?

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That's crazy. GuruRx.com slash fighter. Amazing. Hey, B, you know me, man. I'm a sneaker head. And some of my sneakers are white. And one thing about me, like my car's, I wear them, dude. I push my shoes to the limit.

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curl that he didn't know jerked him off. He got on all fours. He was on all fours like a cow and she milked him like a fucking just like a cow. She went, I'm gonna jerk it off like that. And she had a head like a rockwiler And she had a head like a rockwiler. Yeah, she had a head like a rockwiler. Never forget that head. I will never forget that head. Biggest head I've ever shed a head like chungly from blood swans.

Well, she has. Well, hold on, dude. I'm gonna be, I'm not trying to even be funny. She had chins head. Yeah. Think of my wrong head for just five, one. Yeah, but with a skinny neck. You know the fish in when they put a lake and the fish,

their bodies become skeletal and their heads are huge because of the chemicals. That's just the head. That's what she looked like. And he kind of went on a date with her and he said, and she milked them. He said she put me on all fours and yanked mine. That was it.

Yeah, because she didn't want to have something about the sex. It was an issue. I don't understand why she wanted to get on all four He was trying to do something and she goes just just here and she kind of she didn't speak English very well And she goes here get on here get here and he's like what the fuck is going on? No, and she just ran shankers shankers If you friends, what a way to get a handy friends might have walked into was getting melt like you dare

There are people who might have been by accident by accident I've seen these I don't remember there's some things you can't unsee and I'll never be the same but sometimes no sometimes things happen so yeah y'all y'all different breed dog well I want to get you naked and I want you to get moved I'll get you moving around in the corner over there I don't want to see what's going on I want to get hands on you too

no you don't you don't want to get hands don't touch me no listen as a friend you want to melt them get hands on you want to melt them you don't know to get hands on you, too. No, you don't want to get hands don't touch me. No, listen as a friend You want to melt them? Get hands on you Milk and V. Don't I want to see what you're working with you walking out leave me alone I'm as a friend why I don't understand I don't understand their culture. I want to take that my culture You don't be scale that Brian Melchio. Yeah, he's touching me, dude, welcome. You listen me. Hey, Melchio. Oh, he ain't touching me. Dude, Melchum. You listen to me. Hey, Melchum. You ain't me. Hey, you better leave me the fuck up.

I'm drive down Thunthead. Farmer Rice coming in. Drive down Thunthead, I just pull over to the group of go-yo. Melchum. Do you like it beat up? Or do they? Melchum. Fellas.

Jump in. Melchum. Yeah, a lot of guys, it would know, yeah, they'd be very happy with that. Yeah, they would. She fell. No. Farmer Brian Melchum. They'd be very happy that would She fell no from a brand-new Once you get his hands on you. No

Get you touch me. I'm gonna get that 2% on Don't look at nasty Speaking of chance let it Brian milk you know I don't think Brian wants to. Best cinnamon milk. Yeah, you have me here birthday. I'm a gay man. I know what you want.

Yeah. I'm good there. I saw the old man. In fact, you get me. I'm moving around, Jen. Get those big old Korean hands on me. And just get in the circle. She'll go, I would, but mine's bad.

I know. Mine's a fucking net. Her chance on that. Hell, all massage the shit out of you. Tell my hands to knock you out. I want you, I want you melt the marinara out of fucking me The marinara get the ricotta cheese out of this fucking I was gonna shave you and we're gonna call you a twink. We're gonna tattoo twink. You do look hairy

Yeah, you're a hairy guy, huh Harry guy huh really really your face begs the You have a fucking beard like it's from daggust Yeah, you're a Harry guy. Yeah, let me see those forms You're fucking Harry I can see it from here. Yeah, there you go. It's just normal. You know here. Yes No, he's got a cute little last probably. Hey, y'all are fucking, yo, hey, why are we doing this? Because it's gay Wednesday, dude.

Gay Wednesday. We always get ganges, but it's one of the weird things. Tradition. That's once a year tradition, dude. Once a year. Let's go ahead and mash those cupcakes. I'll have my tour show. No. They do look nice.

They do look nice. Oh, good. So once again, for the, I don't know how many episodes of this podcast we've done, but seven hundred. We'll talk about this every soon. We've never known. We've not. We've not.

698 have been about. Yeah. We've never known. And yet we're still here. 789 today. Mm-hmm. I'll tell you who I'm true. Yep, 789 That's just the one to do for a thousand the ones that were over a thousand if you include yeah Yeah, the other ones wow By the way, I saw the old fighter in the kid email. There's a bunch of stuff like old videos of you guys like

Fox days behind the scene stuff. So if you guys want to use that material. That's great. I love to see it. I'll show you after. I'll show you after. There's a bunch though. Dude, I'm gonna be milking people in Arizona this weekend. Phoenix, Arizona, come get milked. Thursday Friday Saturday. Don't get me. Hey, tap a button. This week, boy, can I finish milk in my picture?

Let me melt this thing, man. This Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I'm gonna stand up live. Milkin'. Milkin'. There you go. If you wanna get milked or milked, Brandon will be there. Tampa, Tampa, I'm there.

Tampa, Florida, improv. April 15, 16. Port Charlotte, Florida. I come right back to Florida. I don't fuck around. I'm a comedy theater. April 21, 22, 23. Las Vegas, no matter why it's guys comedy club,

April 28th and 30th, and then we got the stress factory May 5th, 7th. Oh yeah, and the big Mel Capins, April 23rd, Paramount Theater, Austin, Texas, Big Ass Theater, so we melt in horror. April 29th, your special drops. April 28th. April 28th, I fucking get a blast.

Sick boy only. I fucked it up last time. I'll be in Austin at Paramount Theater one show one night only with the thick boy crew Moontower County Festival Paramount we milk in each other April 23 So I'm gonna milk the live On all fours we melt Hey, I gotta tell you I'm gonna tell me who it is after this episode sure All right, you can only get milked on all fours man. You do it on two feet. You a savage man That's be all four. Yeah, you got chin Good transition good trans. Thank you sir. Thank you. You're gonna be kind of sad. Oh, this kind of sad

Silver God free passed away from a long-term illness he had Uh-huh. I don't know exactly what the illness was, but it had to do with his cardiovascular Yeah, it's his heart that kind of thing is where your heartbeat's really really fast for no reason Yeah, it causes your heart beat to be irregular. Oh, yeah two young children. I worked with a lot I worked with him twice. On what? On less on fucking CSI, I believe I can't remember. We had so much fun. Jeff Ross was on in the episode.

But he was, he's a beast, huh? He's to me the funniest, in some ways, one of the funniest people I've ever met just off the cuff. You could not get anybody fun. His, he was so witty and funny all the time. Yep. What a career.

Oh my God. Yeah, that big time. That's a career. Big time. It's just a great person man. How hilarious. He was great in problem childhood. I do not know.

No problem childhood. Yeah, he was a young man. Yeah, he was a ladden. Yeah, he was a ladden. He was great on there dude. Yeah, he was amazing man. What a career though. Good for him.

Yeah. Turbo, they passed away though. Yeah. Young's amazing. What a career though. Good for him. Terrible, they passed away though. Young too. 67, pretty young man. Yes, young. Fuck yeah. What else you got right? This is another really sad one. I promise I'll do some fun ones after this.

Oh, they caught the guy though. Yes, they caught the man who was responsible for the New York subway shooting. Okay. People are saying that they were on the subway car and suddenly someone threw a, like some sort of smoke device. Smoke device, right?

Yeah. Where black smoke started to eat up at every single inch of that subway car and people couldn't see, then they started hearing gunshots go off. There were 10 shots. And they believed that the gun stopped because it got jammed when the subway finally got to its destination opened up this

its door if you start rushing out 13 people were injured no one died no one died though and I think he was 5-5 and I told my brother when he came out and I was like I go hold on 13 or shot and Jay goes yeah and I go but nobody died he goes his nose. I go, he goes, this is all like lagged and lower body shots. He goes, oh, he's short-came. This is a short-came. That's what happened there. A man with a nipple that's completely more- Like someone would have died or more people

being shot of his gun didn't jam. Was he shooting at their legs or what? This was the guy. Yeah. He's, but he was on YouTube, which is crazy. They allow his footage on there. He was on YouTube talking about racist shit. Like, you know, and he was talking about the homeless situation.

He was going after the mayor saying, you know, you've caused this. And, you know, I need to start shooting people and then... What? He's clearly lost his mind. Yeah. Well, he's 5'5". Again, the right is 4'10". Yeah, I don't know.

He's just crazy. And they found him because he had dropped a set of keys to a U-haul van. That was, I guess, signed under his name. So they found the keys called the U-haul station and they said, oh, it's actually registered to this guy. He's renting it out right now. Yeah, he's a type of fountain.

He's a piece of shit. And then the blame on mental illness and what to have her and guns, you know. No, he's a piece of shit. He's a piece of shit All right, I was in Brooklyn, dude. Yeah, that's nuts man horrible horrible But thank god he's such a fuck up. He didn't kill anybody. You can even get that right you fucking loser You even failed at that. Everybody survived. You fucking moron. Look at this,

Gal. So a animal rights activist attempted to glue herself, superglue herself, to the core at the Clippers Timber Wolves game because the person who owns a large chunk of the Timber Wolves also has a factory farm that has a bunch of chickens and shit and she really wanted to show them like that. But she really thinks she could blow her hands for her. She's not gonna have her chickens anymore so I'm gonna super glue myself but the glue didn't have time to set. So you see like a white...

It just takes a hot second. Yeah. So you see the white hand print on the floors of the basketball court afterwards. They were able to just wipe that shit. Well she puts her hands down. They're not gonna let her sit there for a minute to set. Yeah, so they just went okay here This we're gonna take your hands now. I don't know. This is another view of her trying to glue herself Yeah, she seems like smart

Lay And that is the super glued hand wow and she's doing this for animal rights. Yeah for animal rights and it worked All those animals are saved. I'm gonna chicken today I'm gonna eat chicken. It's now I'm gonna eat chicken And I'm eating more chicken. Yeah, now I'm eating more chicken because now all right I'll take the chicken. Do you have any baby chicks? There's other way to protest than that It's a stupid technique. Yeah, what it is This was funny. This guy is funny. It really had to cause.

This guy is 14 years old and a Twitch streamer who streams Call of Duty every single time he gets a kill, he transforms his room into an EDM show. So this is a club going viral. I bet he's crushing on Twitch too, doing this. Oh, yeah, probably. I don't know that Twitch world, but it's big. It's huge. Oh, man. That's big. It's you. Oh

Wow every time you get to kill it says pulse 147 That's actually pretty dope really I bet crazy. I bet his parents are like, what in the fuck? Right, but if he's making a bunch of money, I mean. I bet my kid do if he's born, right? That works. Can you not do it after midnight though? Yeah, but the problem is my son, every time I try to get him to stuff, he goes, dad, there are people who are making millions on YouTube playing games. I'm like, I know that.

I can't use that as a bug. I'm like, twizz. All right. Kane Velasquez finally his first statement since being arrested. Yeah, I saw this. Now, I think you had another trial yesterday. Or another something you saw walking to the courthouse.

And people on that budget for you to support my family, I will never be able to thank you enough from the bottom of our hearts and depths of our souls, where forever grateful for your love, your selfless gestures and kind words have given me strength in my darkest times. This is the story is complex and slowly unraveling as we speak. This is what's interesting is to the true victims of the case made God give you strength to come forward.

Though it is most difficult to relieve the pain that has happened to you, relive the pain that has happened to you, and speaking the truth, just will be served and your own true healing will start. What happens? What happens? He's going to go away for a little bit. A little bit of a long time. A little bit. I don't think I like that.

Hopefully it goes to trial. We need a trial because there are going to be more lenient for those of the trial. That judge is real kind. I know. You know what the judges, judges, one of those people that would refer to UFC fighting as a cop fighting. She thinks he's like a liability if they let him out on bail. What? Which he's not. No, he's in jail. Oh yeah. Yeah. You see? Well, I don't know. He's posted. He's in jail? Oh yeah. Yeah. It's still. You serious? Well, I don't know. I'm pretty supposed to be home.

You can't be in jail. You know, she didn't grab bail. Yeah, she didn't. I understand. She probably is a friend. She can't. Like if she's a judge and he goes and kills that guy, you know, that's, I can see that.

If you chase somebody down with a gun and you're shooting at him, I don't think a judge had a choice. I don't know if it's the judge. I think the judge goes, the judge goes, this guy got in a car, found the judge. I think the judge goes the judge goes this guy Got in a car found the dude shot into the car several times Try to run him off the road, right and it's yeah, and it's also he doesn't have a history of no But if it's your kid, you don't know you can't control someone yeah, cuz she gives him bail and then he murders He's thinking about like getting get them what yeah, it's a tough situation.

I think you do sometime but not at time. I hope not. Yeah, too. He's gonna run that prison. It's tough though, dude. That's a real crime. That's a big, there's their minimum sentences. When you do that?

15 years, minimum sentence. He's a good lawyer though, they'll figure it out. I bet he does like around two years. Plus with like good behavior and all that stuff, I think he has track record. He'll come out and fall track in the hero. Yeah, two years. Plus with like good behavior and all that stuff, I think he has track record. He'll come out and fall in the hero. Yeah, he's already hero. Yeah, in that community, especially the Mexican community.

Also, you don't gotta worry about King Laskas. In jail? No, no, no. No, I'm saying that guy should not worry about King Laskas. Oh yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's other people that want that one. Yeah, tough, Mexicans. Well, if you ever went to California State Penn,

that guy, and as a child molester, things are not. All right, guys, life's gonna be terrible. His family's life's terrible too. They're all fucked. We're in rightfully so. Well, don't forget, kid. All right.

Have you guys seen Ali Wong's special? No. So in the special, I'm not, it's been out for a little bit. She keeps talking about how she really really really wants to cheat on her husband It's like a bit. It's a funny bit and then you know later on she says, you know how she wouldn't put apparently They're gonna divorce her and her husband after a year's a marriage. Oh I don't know if it has no I know it's a bit so but I mean the bit it's like heavily into I really want to cheat on him. Oh, yeah

But I was gonna fight with her husband. He's so nice Harvard graduate. Yeah, he's a beast. Oh shit. She's a super actor. No, he's a business She's about him selling like her merch wall. She's on the road because it was a Harvard. Yeah, he went to Harvard She paid off all his debt Damn Yeah, that's a bummer box. You know, shit happens. Yeah.

After eight years of marriage, you said? Eight years. If too little kids. It's just, I right after special, because I just saw her special and when she was saying that, I was like, you know, I get you. Yeah, it's good, but it's, I didn't, I never saw her stuff before.

No, I haven't seen it. Baby cobra is really good. Baby cobra. Yeah, that's her first one. That's what we're up. Yeah. Oh, the one she, the one she did when she was pregnant. Yeah, with the like cheetah print. Yeah, that's her first one. That's what yeah. Yeah Oh the one she the one she did what she was pregnant. Yeah with the like cheetah print. Yeah cheetah print. Yeah or a blue or a

movies everything So this sucks but Philadelphia is gonna restore indoor mask mandates dude and I got word from a buddy that works with CDC today They're extending the mass mandate in airports another two weeks. It's going to I'm sorry more than two weeks Going to May 15th. It's was and on May or April 18th. Really ends May 15th Because the new variant is out Yeah, and all the all the airline like CEOs are super against mass

It makes no sense think about every time the pilot talks to go, I just have to say this, you know, I don't want to go to either. Sometimes sometimes you get one of them soy boys on there like, hey, make sure you have your mask on. Oh, you're okay, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows how bad this variant is, but I'm guessing it's not going to. No, look at the hospitalizations. Okay, so we talked about Elon Musk. Oh, when I'm going to Oh, before he get into this, I was talking to my brother about, he's a guy I wish you guys would fucking research stuff. He's like the reason why he's not on the board

is because if he's on the board, they limit how much stock you're buying the company. If he's not on the board, he can buy all the stuff. He's like, he's doing it because it gives him more control. And potentially buy better. So they can do that. you can't do that. That's why I guess after 15 or 14.9% if you go above that, then you have to,

you can't be able to buy. Yeah, so he's like, no, I don't want to be able to. Interesting. This is why the fucking pussy's at a Twitter quitting and freaking out. Oh, it's not even better. Dustin off the wrist. Take it over.

And that funny. Take it over. So the guy I tried over And that funny. Yeah, take it over So the guy I tried to kill Ronald Reagan. Yeah, he apparently is a musician now and he sold out some venue in I think Brooklyn You want to hear your stuff? Yes, try killing Reagan. Yeah, yeah, and this guy's doing music. Let's hear it Is it a virgin? Yeah, I heard it Everybody hope you're doing great. Listen, if anyone knows of a record label, they would put out my music on vinyl.

We sure don't. Let me look. Nope. Let's go along the line. This little original. Look at his eyes. You got the answers to everything I need Fuck yeah You got me thinking that maybe I'll succeed

Unlike your heart, the sun's in the sky This is original too Yeah, that note is original Original He cool At least he's on Keto It's just more of the same Oh yeah

That's it What do you sold out? How did you sell that venue? He sold out venues? Yeah, I'm on the hotel Try to kill that Yeah, really good Yeah, he said

Cat said this would be the like an awesome album cover People are just intrigued by stuff like this. That's what I'm so much. Yeah, how much time did he do? All the years 30 Was it 1980? 81, was it already 34 years? He did 34 years? Or was it 81 or 82 when he? Wait, he never went to prison.

He spent 34 years at St. Something. Cause he pletted insanity. Yeah. Oh. Oh. all right. I'm gonna prepy murder. Do you guys remember that you two young? What? What? The prepy murder. Preppy murders.

Robert Chambers. Robert Chambers. What happened to him? What? He's still alive. Yeah. You're strangle people. The guilty demands slaughter. Yeah, you're strangle people. The guilty demands slaughter.

Oh, fuck. Mance slaughter. So what's he doing now? Fail to reach a verdict. I didn't realize I thought he went to jail. Post-conviction. To the drug charge. You know, do something.

I don't know. You know, the preppy murder. Yeah, I don't remember that. I know the Mendez brothers TikTok is doing a big push to get them out out yeah because what was I don't know that story they killed well they murdered their parents I know that but are they out no no absolutely he read the the main thing that hands down was that it was like you killed your parents a lot of but there was a lot of abuse right thing was that

he he reloaded the god that was the one I think they shot them on the back of that it was like you reload saw the mom gone with their parents treated them like the dad the dad did. Yeah, their their defense was the dad didn't want them to leave the house and they're going off to UCLA. And the the next more in the dad, they thought according to their defense he's gonna work so as kill or be killed okay, they killed them Damn damn But they're saying if that try one on today through like you know mental illness and they probably would have used they would have got off got off Really yeah, they're doing life. Oh, yeah was dad truly abuse yeah, he's bad. Yeah, he's bad. Yeah, okay Was dad truly abusive. Yeah, he's bad. Yeah, he's bad. Yeah, okay

But they they recently started in the head they hadn't seen each other like you're different presidents. Yeah The one brother got married in prison they and Really but the what's interesting to so they killed their parents and then they followed the money And you know because they got a bunch of money their parents make counts They're like buying porchons and all this shit damn there. They are damn got the one One of them has handling prison pretty well Great show in California jail I guess two two shelter jails putting California now now they were brought together in 2018 Oh now they're in the same year was that man 89 was it that that

Trials in 1990 90 No, 1996 wasn't 89 so 89 Wow Apprehended in 1990. 1990, there you go. Damn. So you said the thing was, is that the mom was crawling and he broke reloading the shot again. How old were they at the time?

They were just graduating, right? 17, 18. 17, 18. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, we can't have that. Wow. Amazing. The documentary's great though. Oh, we can't have that Amazing The documentary's great though. Oh, it is honor thy mother and father

21-18 yeah, that's old nothing no better. Oh, yeah, can't be killed Also also 21 and 18 year old boys are not men are not that afraid of their parents I mean you're not in danger. That's my thing, the one that's like fight back. Yeah, just do that. I don't know, I accuse a sexual molestation. A molestation. A molestation.

You said the dad. No one's found any evidence of it. Nothing of it. So we don't know if it's actual truth or what's going on. You're 18, 18, 21. I think you beat the shit out of your dad, but killing him, I don't know. I don't know.

What else you got, Ty? You shouldn't kill him. No. That's what I'm gonna kill on. Last one is, it's not that new, but it's just Dwayne Johnson has, I think four different wax figures and four different cities.

Congratulations. And they actually look pretty good. This one's like the worst one though. Never on a stick wax figure. But the other ones are way better. So this is in New York. I don't know if I've probably that. This one looks really good

They all look like the eyes look a little like Jason state them the eyes a little different here That is the rock the watch this one Orlando this one's really crazy That's in Las Vegas And then this one here in Hollywood. I mean they all look exactly like no wax. We should be the fuck out They're getting a lot better now dude. They should be like pretty crap. There's some of them were awfully party B when I think was a little rough Yeah, I mean that looks like a man. Yeah, good dude Four you got four. Do you want one of yourself? No? I don't

But that's pretty much it Be a while. Oh, oh wax figure those wax figures in But that's pretty much it. It's pretty wild. That's it. Oh, those wax figures in the long beach laugh factory creep me out. Are those wax figures? Or whatever the hell those things are. I'll think of wax. That's it, dude. That's it.

All right, kids, I'm off to Phoenix tomorrow that's this Thursday Friday Saturday, Phoenix, Arizona, stand up live, milk me, and then April 20th, Shob and friends, one Shob, one Shob, one Shob, only 8 pm Hollywood improv with the monsters, Hollywood improv, that is 420, but I don't smoke you can. One more thing. Texas at the Paramount Theater, one show, one night only the Moontower County Festival got moved to the Paramount Theater, show one night only the Muntower comedy festival

Moot got moved to the Paramount Theater big venue for your boys to come on out Austin, Texas April 23rd One show only May 5th through the 7th is Charlotte, North Carolina special drops on thick boy YouTube April 28th The Gringo Poppy Take it to FATKZ.com or thinkboy.com, right? Oh, I'll be in Tampa, Florida this week on April 15, 16th, Port Charlotte, Florida, I've assigned a comedy theater, April 21, 22, 23. Las Vegas Nevada wise guys,

comedy club, April 28 through the 30th and New Brunswick, New Jersey stress factory, May 5 through the 7th. And here's a really good thing to say. My special is taping May 19th at the Brea and Proff tickets are already on sale. I will provide a link. And then May 6th and 7th I'll be in San Diego at Mike Drop Comedy Club. May 12th I'll be doing a one-nighter stand-up live.

And then in the summer June 24th and 25th I'll be going to meet Ballstown, East Providence, Rhode Island to do comedy connection. All right kids, love you, that's it Phoenix, see you this week.