The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 800

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

The guys recap their Philly trip, getting shoes at Suplex, Brendan's night out at the bar with Shane Gillis and talk Jared Leto vs Johnny Depp at 35, Jordan Peterson's tweet controversy regarding the new Sports Illustrated model, See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the fighter and the kid Hyde the running back Cause we back at it again Yeah, we gon' keep it moving like it's never gonna end When it was brining, when it was bright And when it was just talkin' to friends We got the kid galling on the left With the fighter on the right

Ain't had to do it right Cause we comin' at your lock Back with the team I'd be keepin' OG My CTV I'm outta do it Yes we did Cause we back at it again

It's the fighter and the kid It's the fighter on the kid. This is really the fighter and the kid. We're out. All right, it's a joke, kid. It's an old school fighter and kid. Couple of things to get out of the way. We got a lot of color. It's our third one independent. Yup, a lot of color.

Brennan has had a thing to eat, doesn't sound like I'm doing a little nicotine, some whiskey and some coffee. H shots of coffee. Yup, we got H shots of caffeine in his body. Probably some cratum, who knows? Who knows? Maybe some testosterone. H shots of coffee. Yep, we got eight shots of caffeine in his body, probably some cratum, who knows? Who knows?

Maybe some testosterone. We definitely have to. No, sir. All right, take it easy. I'm just saying, no food, nicotine, booze, whiskey, and then some caffeine is going to be good. But you know what? And stress.

Don't add some stress because you got to run a business. But the important thing is, you are, you and Mark are screaming out of the closet with matching colors. You're matching. I didn't realize you had the matching shirt. And I love it. I'm caught between a pink parade right now and I appreciate that. So the gay and the little light blue on, dude, I got light blue. And you got your sandals. I got some stuff to talk about. I got, the gay meter is at a nine and I appreciate that.

Because the pink, you know a fan game is at usually when people give you gifts, whatever, you know, it's cool stuff, or they made it, or whatever, it's art, or whatever. And then this lady hand me a back from Mitchell Ness. Mitchell Ness makes like all the vintage like cool sports memorabilia. I'm like, okay, I didn't look at,

took the greatest, thank you. And I go in the back and I was like, what is it, probably a towel show? I open, I'm like, oh, that is litty. That's litty. Yeah, I'll take it. I throw back six or something. I like that.

And this is my boy's suplex. And I like the shoes. Now I wanted to do a little quiz. I got, you know, I live in my toeholds. Now I got, I just got, they made me a new pair. Yeah. I made me a new pair. Now that right there, that strap,

you have one guess each as to what animal that strap is easy. This is easy. Baby Rhino. Baby Rhino. I like it. They skinned a baby rhino alive. Do not buy these sandals. I like killing baby rhinos.

I like your attitude. What would you say this is? Ah, if I don't know much about that. Let me see a bee. Let me give a good look at him and feel it. Let me feel it. Buffalo. Buffalo. I like Buffalo. go ahead chin. What what say you and you can touch it dude Is it some sort of is some sort of monitor lizard? I like that these are and by the way hermanoke

That's that's the dragon edition take a look at that fuck you know dragons on your sandals. Hey, hey my favorite Hey, are you a bad guy from my 90s kung fu? Don't be fun on my why are in my why are there dragons on your sand? Don't make fun of the Tolls because they're awesome. No, they are comfy, but don't have dragons. All right. I love this Is one of our staples. Yeah, I know but right? No, don't make fun. No, they are cut. They dude you they've really gotten dope Yeah, now here's now here's my friend. Hey, we're friends. Right. Yeah, we're friends. Right Yeah. Now, did I not give you a bottle of tiger thick? Yes. I did, right?

Yeah. Do I not give you things whenever I can? Yeah, yeah. I'll give you a show off. I back. Yeah. I don't have these. I'm going to get you.

No, hold on, no, these are our new model, right? So now what happened was when we went to... You went back to the draw board and daddy. We went to the draw board. Best sandals in the world now. Now, best sandals. See, that's how it works. That's how it works.

Hey, do I look like Jesus Christ? Yeah. You go, why go? Because these sandals are from back then. That's right. So when he said, say, last. You had what's called the firm addition. And I said, these are a little too hard.

So now we got the orthopedic vibrum. And then we got the herminoch leather, which the more you wear, the better on your feet, right? Hey, real quick. Now, what would we still do in our quiz here? Oh, you all of the leather. Yeah. Hey, real quick. Yeah.

Did you watch P. Diddy host the billboard awards? I did not. You didn't? No. Because you're P. Diddy right now. Because he was in the middle of hosting the awards and then start pitching his Suraq Vaka. I don't want to pitch this. What I'm saying is what is the up because there's a whole point to this.

What is what are these? What are these? Ryan ode baby rhino? Okay, I'm sort of lizard bison. Yeah, I think it's a reptile so maybe like a snake. Okay, toad. Okay. It's elephant from buttswap. I'm gonna say elephant. Now people are going Brian. You kill an elephant. Absolutely. No, it's just from a baby Snap. These are the custom made scraps. Why am I wearing elephant? Strongest leather, it'll last forever. These are the custom straps. Now here's the thing about elephant, making a pair of these exact ones for Bradley Martin.

And I will make you a pair of tiger. We got tiger prints that I'm gonna make for tiger because you're all about tiger and sun and tiger. And they're gonna be exactly like this. And I promise you, I'll wear them all the time. I'll wear those, yeah. Yeah, they're awesome. And you wear those on stage, you know, that was my recommendation. I'll wear those, yeah. Yeah, they're awesome. Did you wear those on stage? You remember that was my recommendation.

I can't promote your special in your sandals. I would, I should not. It survived, daddy. I know, I wear them all the time. Yeah, you don't want to wear them on my special, I need them. But that's what makes you unique. I know. No one's ever done it.

I just don't want them looking at the toils and thinking about my standup. I want to wear just regular neutral shoes. I wore my golden goose. I bought some golden goose. That works. Not bad. Now I had, you know, it stressed me out. I couldn't be there. I was in Ph just regular neutral shoes. I wore my golden goose. I bought some golden goose. That works. Not bad. I had, you know, it stressed me out.

It couldn't be there. I was in Philly, great time. But I wish I was there, but had some birdies in the crowd. You had birdies? It's in my balls. That's in my balls. You said it went very well. I heard that.

Yes. Oh, you had eyeballs in my crowd. Yeah, it went very well. I got probably 12 people texting. I want to thank everybody for coming out to the special because it went really well. You know, you're always nervous. It went, I want to thank everybody for coming out to the special, because it went really well. You know, you're always nervous. It's always like a hard thing,

because you want to capture everything. G-E-T-H-M-U. What's H-E-T-H-M? Hair makeup. You don't know that. A little bit, my girl dusted my head. Oh, yeah, she put the girl to it. She put the, you know, the little dusty things

that keep your hair from falling bald, and it actually worked. What did we do for the beard? The beard, I was going to put a little mascara and I tried it. Oh, wow. And it just didn't bald, and it actually worked. What did we do for the beard? The beard, I was gonna put a little mascara, and I tried it, and it just didn't work, and I was like, you know, I'm going gray, because daddy's gray, fuck it. Yeah, I would own that.

They hear, they hear, I get where it goes. They hear, they hear. What was the outfit? You didn't send me a picture for approval. Black, I got a black long sleeve, standard, true classic, and they sent me long sleeve, long sleeve, and just a pair of rag and bone jeans what color dark blue dark blue

and then green and white gold and guses that's cool it was just to get simple yeah simple but yeah exactly now before I wanted to say this because I if I say I'm wearing elephant I don't want people to think I kill elephants so before you guys give me our time somebody did you when you when you have elephants they they have to be I don't want people to think I kill elephants. So before you guys give me your time,

when you have elephants, they have to be cold or they die of natural causes because what happens is you can't have elephants expand because they'll ruin everything. So when you're managing game, that's why you use and all the money that you use for the skin goes back directly back to preserving elephant habitat and elephants. There. So they take out the bull? They take out, yeah. So anytime you have like an old animal, or you get like an animal can no longer breed, or they're sick, or they're wounded, that when

game wardens kill a rhino's or any of that shit, either they'll give you a tag to shoot it, and then 300 grand of that money goes directly they'll give you a tag to shoot it. And then 300 grand of that money goes directly back to paying like all the conserves. It's saving, yeah, it's conservation. They're saving the elephants. You know who's on your team though? In the, they're in the, they're in the Africa like this

and I go, I had elephants sneezed, get your gun out. Well, you know what? We got to make some say on the gun. Get your gun out, that elephant has a running. That was a sneeze dude. That was a sneeze. And then if I was there, I'm like, I think it's allergies. No, that elephant has a runny nose. That was a sneeze, dude. That was a sneeze. And then if I was there, I think it's allergies. No, no, he's nothing keeps sniffing a little bit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, if I was doing it to consume, you know what they try to do with elephants? They try to sterilize them. So they'll dart them from a helicopter,

enjoy that. It's so expensive and impossible that the only way to keep elephants healthy in their populations healthy is to call them, which is a euphemistic way of saying kill them. But you have to, because otherwise. My love elephants, like, you know, like, like I love Elevants so much, you know like if you got bit by a rattlesnake, let's say a bit the middle of your piece. Yeah. Dude, I'm such a good friend. I would suck the venom out.

You mean I would suck the venom out of your piece. I would appreciate that. Yeah. So I'm knowing it's filming. I would suck the venom out because I don't eat a die. Would you put it all the way because you have to get all the way down. I'd keep telling you. You have to.

Anyway, I would do it like a subway, like sandwich, I'd just go, and I'd be like, I heard it's work, but also, yeah, but I also worked the balls, finger mass, but then also, I love elephants so much. If an elephant was sick, I'd grab a snout, a suck the sickness out of his snout. I appreciate that.

I appreciate that. That's why I can't wear elephant animals. No, but I'm gonna make it. Do you make full elephant-days? Yeah, they also have full elephant-days, but I'm gonna make it. Do you make full elephant dice? Yeah, they also have full elephant dice, but I, I, I, And it's all great, do,

do they have to be great like an elephant gray? Well, no, because they have different colors. It's fucking amazing. Isn't there white elephants? There's like one. You know, you can tie those. You can tie that shit. We have white alligator and white crocodile.

But aren't there really albino crocodiles and alligators? Yeah, it's very hard to find. But they can do anything. There's this company where they get all their skins from American hides and tanning or something. And it's like the best there is. And you can get fucking anything. You can do it.

Holy shit. But that's not an albino. That's I think dust. That's dust by the body. Yeah, that's like grayish. Yeah, but it's fascinating. I'm learning a lot about conservation you talk about animals and skin and conservatum you are you the bad guy from ace

ventrature too I know I know just just I keep like a ca a pet condor a pet dolphin a pet panda and I bring a bad guy from ace ventrature too and you come to my house and I'm like would you like some panda paws and I'm the fat I'm the fat guy who helps out a Sintra oh There he is. Yeah, you're that guy maybe I'll grow a thin mustache. That's you. I should grow a thin mustache Yeah, there you are Wow a lot of actors you see and you don't see him again. It's weird. You did that one role, didn't he? Yeah, that's the way it is when a great role, though, man.

Maybe you got a type casted. Or you just, just things happen. You know, I would buy that, but that's cool. Wait, is that signed by that guy or? Yeah, signed by that guy. She never worked again, really? Who's that? Oh, she was in the first one. Ray Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn. She was a star in the 90s. Oh really? Yep. Sometimes they just quit though.

She I guess was she made some mistakes. She wanted to be Catwoman and The story goes that they were like it's been cast and then she landed a helicopter on the set dressed as cat woman. She did something crazy like that. And the risk, like the director was like, it's cast. This is great. The director was like, you look ridiculous. Yeah, somewhere along the line.

Also, would you get all these cats? Yeah. Just jumps out of the helicopter, just thousands of days. Yeah. Because then these cats don't have homes. Well, I remember she was a huge star. And then the word got out that she was quote unquote crazy, which she may not have been, but she never worked again.

She never lost that stigma. That shit. It's like the Amber heard stuff. Like good luck getting work now. Peloton, just take a break, Brian. Because you know I had some chatty Kathies, dude. Did you, I've been part of Peloton for six, seven years now. That's where you get those juicy thighs.

Well my skinnetic brain drops. Does it rain here? Nope, it's my quads. It keeps quadsil over here. Quadsil, thanks to Peloton, I don't have to hit the road which is dangerous. I might get hit by a car. Did my first peloton workout this weekend?

Oh, you did? Yes. Was you 20 minutes? I did it 20 minutes and it was all I fucking need it It's all you need dude. You got 20 minutes. Sure you do. Do you want to go to Jimmy? What nope you work out for home? Get a great workout. We got you with Pelton dude world-class instructors right to motivate you 24 Seven right not just cycling you got strength training you need yoga you can do running you do box you do boxing I know and it's so much fun. The best part about this for me, dude, I crank it up.

The music is so freaking fun, man. They got some bangers, slappers for days. Hey, man. Maybe you're looking for a 10 minute upper body stretch between calls or 40 minute run before bed. What's up, man? Peloton is there whenever you have time. There's no rush.

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You know, I got to talk to you about element for a second. Well, please do. I mean, L-M-N-T, not element, but L-M-N-T. It's pronounced element. Yeah, now listen. Yeah. You gotta get your electrolytes. We know I like to drink, dude. I like to drink alcohol.

I'm well on the road. I'm drinking, I'm dehydrated. Yeah. You know, the first thing I do when I touch the ground, I touch that sweet L-A taxes through the Gizu L-A ground. The element. I'm dehydrated. You're the first thing I do when I touch the ground. I touch that sweet L.A. taxes through the Gizu L.A. Ground element. I go element. I gotta get in your body.

Water, element, boom. I do it. On some days, I'll go, I'm 55, I'm gonna do two workouts today. I said it, I gotta get my electrolyte back. Wow, two. Yeah, two. You're pushing it. I can't stop, one stop, you know this.

Yeah, dude. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no know this? Yeah, dude. No junk. No, I do, I'm on stage for two hours, two and a half hours. At my age, I need my electrolyte. You're out of your sweat and you're like, cat willing, you're sweating. This is so junk, no sugar, no coloring, no artificial ingredients, no getting, no fillers, no BS. One hot, 1,000 milligrams sodium, 200 milligrams potassium, 60 milligrams magnesium.

Those things you are notoriously shorn on all the time. None of the junk, no sugar, no coloring, no, this just isn't for professional athletes. Everyone, moms, dads, NBA, NFL, NHL, Olympic athletes, Navy SEALs. SEALs? Dude, if it's good enough for a Navy SEAL, it's not good enough for your ass.

Try it, though, because they'll give you money back. They're offering you a free, element sample pack, eight single packet servings free. Just cover the cost of shipping $5 for US customers. Get yours at drinkelementlmt.com slash fighter. The deal is not available on their regular website, so you got to go to drink trinklmt.com slash fighter. Element offers no questions, ask free funds.

If you don't like it, but you're going to love it, so don't worry about that. Try it, risk free. If you don't like it, share it with a salty friend, so don't worry about that. Try it, risk free. If you don't like it, share it with a salty friend and we'll give you your money back, no questions asked. You have nothing to lose. Drink element.com slash fighter, D-R-I-N-K-L-M-N-T. Dot.com slash fighter.

Did you watch? And they're trying, they're kind of come for our boy, Johnny, huh? Because now they're saying that he really embellished the finger story. Because then experts, like, there's no way that it would work like that. But you can see. So there's spoken holes in whatever,

here's the bottom line. Guilty and not guilty. They're both bad chick crazy. Yes, yes. But you can see, like I was watching it because I'm obsessed with it. That's a bad show on TV. You, if you listen to the fucking tapes,

it's so clear that she was the initiator of the violence. She had me, that you've said it. And then she goes, no, but that was after he was beating me up. Well, there's no evidence to that. If somebody's hitting you repeatedly in the face with rings on their fingers, you'd have a couple fucking marks. Yeah, but it's also like, you know, she was like, yeah, because Johnny's done this, I've lost roles,

like my role in Aquaman 2 and she's the director came out and he's like, she ain't losing because Johnny Depp drama, we don't care about that. He goes, do we edit it out of the movie? She's barely in it because there was no chemistry between her and Jason Momoa. There you go. Oh, well everyone was Jason Momoa.

Who's the common denominator that's causing all the issues? When the director goes, man, there's no, this weird vibe. This isn't gonna work. This can come off on camera on the screen. We can't have that. So to me, that's the biggest thing of them. It's like, oh, yes, she's a sociopath. I think she's so full of shit.

Like, at one point, I was like, maybe Scott mental illness and stuff. As I listened to it, I think she's absolutely a calculated liar across the board. I to it, I think she's absolutely a calculated liar across the board. I really do. I think he's crazy. I think he was a nightmare.

I think he did drugs. He's a pain in the ass. But the accusations that he raped me with a wine baller, I was bleeding out of my vagina. She said that. Or that he immediately I lost. And he's timing. The timing of it too.

I grew up in the height of me too. Takes this article out. She's so full of shit. She's just a fucking liar. She's like bad person sociopath. I've seen him really. She, and oh, by the way, here's the other thing. So she wanted to keep the divorce settlement secret, huh? Well, somebody went to a divorce, okay?

You don't have to go down there yourself. It's filed by a lawyer. That's how everybody does it. I would never go down the court. She went down to the court house, herself with her publicist. And she had all the criminals that she had been doing this. And she fucked up when she was on her deposition.

So you're like, I mean, you're lying so badly and you're getting caught. It's just, you know. Just, but just nonstop. Time after time, time after time. And when you get put up on the fucking, like what's that saying? When you tell the truth you have to remember one story when you lie you got to remember all the stories enjoy that shit what's

funny is Johnny Debs lawyer pretty hot she's becoming a superstar now the world on street is her and Johnny well are a thing I don't know how it couldn't be I don't know how it couldn't be hey Johnny how fun are you and you're that by the way hey Jack Sparrow yeah give us your take on things I don't know how it couldn't be. Hey, Johnny, how fun are you? No, that's by the way, hey, Jack Sparrow. Yeah, give us your take on things. Hey, let's know how that argument ends. And by the way, he might be a great guy and a great actor, both of which are true, but he spent, you can tell me if I'm going to make a statement, tell me if I'm a little over the top. Please.

He spent 30 years at the top of the Hollywood pyramid high and drunk every single fucking day but this is my thing motivational at this point I mean you can do all the cocaine all the booze and all the opiates and still crush it and I love it how it's better than I do it he's 60 he's been in both of us right dude? How about this? How to your point? Raging out, Holly, clearly addicted to opiates, crush in it, crush listen, you can listen to Tony Robbins, he's great. You can listen to Gary Ve, or you can get motivated by frickin' Johnny Debt, too.

Just Pia. And still showed up, still looking like a dime PC. He's a man gypsy, okay dude. He's a sexy gypsy. okay dude. He's a sexy gypsy and he will wear it. He will wear it. You know, your boy is Jared Leto, that's your four star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you gotta give it up to Johnny.

Better, okay. Now you would be careful. Okay, I know. I'm telling us, you come off as specials. Is feeling good? Hold on. Don't go bad on. I'm not gonna do that.

Don't do that. I got, I'm gonna get you Jared Lato at 35. He's all done up, take it easy. I know you're getting hard on. Hold on, 50 years old dude. Let me go, we're in a time machine. I'm gonna put you in a time machine. Okay, cool.

Now, and I want you to think about this, don't be, don't jump now. I got Jared Lato. I'm putting him in a fucking time machine. Okay. He's 35. I saw him in Vegas at 35. Yeah, that's great. His hair is so silky. He's getting so beautiful. He's like a wine. He's better when so you like a motor. Oh right now is the best. He's ever been so I got Jared let her know I got John. I got Johnny. I got Johnny that when he was 35. Oh, yeah, I agree 100%. Now, now 100%. Now, I thought we were gonna fight. No, now, it wasn't me, Johnny Depp, boy. Now they're both there.

Who do you make out with first? You have to be in a relationship with them and you're straight, but with your own relationship, that's not gay. So you gotta make out with either one. Who's you Johnny Depp at 35 or? Look at him, look at what he's doing. Come on, come on, come on, come on!

So you can do a little opiates and pass out from time to time. So you can't wear mascara and talk like a pirate even lose from Kentucky All I'm saying is keep the XC in the booths away from me because I'm gonna be and even the bloke I'm gonna be excited and if he goes and if he moves in on me I might I might have to meet him halfway go to that far right one chin That's him young now to do tell me he hasn't aged like He's he's he's he's he's fashion Jesus right there. He couldn't look better

He's fashion Jesus. He's fashion. Do my thing is me and him were a couple dude. We don't what am I went? You know what I'm saying like I'm just wearing a basic suit and he's in Fethers dude. I'm gonna tell you what you wear and I'm not trying to be you know gag ball chain well Very going with this Hi, we're in the same mouth there. I you dressed, no, fucking Barney Rubble. You're wearing a leather one piece. You're the cave man. You're the big old cave man.

I'll throw you in some custom-made toe holds. Okay, I like you. All right, I got to, I'll get some skins on you. And now you're, I'm Fred Flintstone, asshole. I know that. But, Bob, you're gonna, but you have to be around here. If this is the cartoon Fred Flintstone, yeah, was it Barney Rebel, yeah, Fred Flintstone, and he's the dinosaur. T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T- The wind in just Texas randomly like it was like so I don't know where he was like dude dude to the whole group I

Forget it out. It's that's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt mark is animal from the Muppets dude. That's a t-shirt Mark's that marks Mark's no, there's the three of us. I'm burning rubble marks bigger than all of this. There's the three of us Wow, we've got a gray up a barn is here, all right? I look exactly for a Flintstone That's fine and that's Mark. Now Mark is, you know, Mark's a ball of energy. Mark does not stop talking 24-7. It's flexible too.

Yeah, sure, whatever, weird. But the thing is, he doesn't, yeah, weird. He does not stop talking, and I love for it. He's the best. So what's the immediate, dude, he's all weird. I'm like, enough dude, enough. This is in a reality show. This is in the Kardashians.

We're good. We checked the box, Mark. We're good. I realized last night it hit me. I went, oh, Mark is the animal from Muppet Babies. You know the guy who's the Muppet who's just out of control. He's an animal dude. Mark is an animal.

I don't get this from Mark. Oh, dude, I get a Zen vibe. No, no, no, no. Mark is, if you click on it, the animal just, everyone's chilling, the animal comes in, his hair's wild. I don't get that. Oh, you know, I get madly in.

I get man lion, I get man lion, I get man lion who has a deep baritone voice, who is there. Chin, the go the far left on the original dude. Down, no, go down, no, down, down, down, that one. That's Mark. But, but that guy's a sharp-f, Mark's not a sharp-f. No, he's much just wild dude.

Yeah, and he's, he was all crazy, that's Mark. It's on the road to that, that is Mark. But it's, I'm chromat the front. But it's fair to say that Mark has a lot of social intelligence So he always knows how to hide so he's never he's never like up. He's never overbearing or he knows how to play the game He's just loud If like on the plane. I don't know. I don't need to be like came marker you 28F I'll hear him. Oh, I'm like oh, Mark

You'll hear that from the back of the plane, daddy. He's got some. And he, he's not talking to anybody. He just laughed and asked of it a video on World's first on. Or the guy next to him that he just met. Yeah. He's this loud all the time. So on Saturday, B, on Saturday, on Saturday, you know, it goes, Saturday, I knew,

I fucking Thursday crowd one of the top five crowds I've ever had Friday popping I go Signing me rough fillies known for being rough. I warned every comic on the lineup even a kid I give an opportunity to I went I did appearance at suplex they go man this kid. He's only 24 His name's Connor great kid Connor mook great kid. He I meet him Whatever's such a nice guy goes. Yeah,, yeah, I'm grinding man three years. I run my own show here. I'm a regular at the helium.

I open up for, you know, you name, I open up for Shane Gillis, I'll go, I go, do you have five minutes? And he goes, I'll have a clean, five minutes. And clean to me and tell me if I'm off. Clean to me goes, I go clean. What are you getting ready to do the tonight show? You're doing clean.

Do you have, I go, do you have dirty shit? He goes, oh no, I don't mean like clean no cussing or dick talk. I'm talking like clean, like a fire five. And I said, cool man, what are you doing tonight? He's like, I don't know, trying to find spots. I went, I'm gonna give you a five minute spot on the sold out show, on the Saturday show,

on Saturday night show. He's like, really? I'm like, yeah man, but I told everyone the green room. I said, it's Saturday Night Filly. They are notoriously known. We're lying tamers. Here's a problem. We don't have our whip.

And these lines been drinking. And these lines are blue collars. And they outnumber us. So when you go out there, have your mind. So for a show, kid crushes it. He's like, I think, give me hugs. Like, dude, the second show ain't gonna go like that. We're starting at 10th or 10th or a huge mistake,

which really means you're starting at 11th. Which really means I've been drinking since 7th. So I mean, that is, that is on stage at midnight. Midnight, at midnight. That's a problem, because they're not, they're so drunk in that packed room. It was the purge, sorry.

It was the walking dead. Yes, because- Now my boy Connor, second set, they're not even listening. They didn't go, I told them, I said, I'm telling you. So then David goes out there and I said, Connor, watch man, this is how you deal with it. If you let them keep going, they're gonna just, you're lying, lying to him.

The line has taken over. You gotta get the power back. David goes out there and there's just a group in the middle. Just these guides, just would not. So you know, David, professional roaster, fuck all material and just, go for it. He did 15 minutes at 10 to 12 minutes,

it was just him lighting in the fuck up, reset the room. Then I get out there, there's still a little loud, the guy in the front let him up, we got a camera, good time, we're posted. But then they know. up reset the room. Yeah. Then I get out there. They're still a little loud. The guy in the front let him up. You got a camera. Good time. We'll post it.

But then they know. Oh, oh, I bet. My bad. That's right. Do they feel that we're here to listen to you? I bet. Do you feel like they see your size also though and they're a little bit more respect from naturally?

No, I've had problems before. Yeah. Sure. No. Because for me, Philly, I don't know if you remember this. The first one of the first live shows we ever did was I think at the truck in Dero or something. Oh, truck in Dero, you're right.

Or was it at the 30 club? It was, I think he was, if it's a truck in Dero and Philly, that's what it was. Anyway, we do that and you, because you were from Colorado and stuff, it's not like you don't know aggressive people, but I remember you went, hey dude, this is actually a little scary.

Philly crowds are aggressive as fuck. And that's right, we did do that. That was what, that was it. And it got so out of control. I remember, I think we did two shows that you were like, Jesus Christ, this is kind of crazy. Now I was at Helium on a Saturday.

And Philly. Yep, about five years ago, I don't know if you remember this, but number one, I had to break up a fight because the gal and a guy came up and the gal was like, she was like, she was built very well and she had her butt out or something and the guy goes, grab it, grab it. And the dude who is big with her goes,

hey guys, be nice. I'll say it once. Is this your on stage or something? I'm taking pictures after the show. Oh, gotcha. Hey guys, be nice. At least it's after. Be nice, I'm asking nicely.

Big guy. Oh yeah, but those other two guys were big, but it was such a standoff. And I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's take a picture, let's move on, because it could have gone south so quick. And then I got my pocket picked. I don't know if you remember I lost,

I lost like $300. That was in my fucking pocket. Cash. Cash. Jesus Christ. So somebody was taking a picture with me and somebody had sticky fingers, good for them. I don't know how much I lost.

I can't remember. I went on the radio show the next day and talked about a hic pocket. Taking pictures. Yeah. Is it 1905? Who's hic pocket? Yeah.

I've never seen the best guys do it before because I've watched some videos. It's incredible. They'll steal your watch. They'll steal your watch. They'll steal my watch. And you don't even know. Because what they do is they bump. They distract you.

They'll hit your other part of your body, and then you're not. So when a magician takes your watch, that's what they're doing. Yeah, they're playing with your hand. They're distracting you. You're like, what the fuck? Yeah, Philly is awesome, but 10.30.

It's too late because they don't, you don't get started until at least 11.30. The best part is, Friday night show, I get a text from Shane Gilles, he goes, what are you doing? I said, you know what I'm doing. I'm in your hometown. I go, were you at New York? He's from Philly.

He's born in race Philly. He came up in the Philly scene. Yeah, he's great. Him and Kevin Hart. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Philly has some monster comics. So I know Shane lives in New York. I go, where do you, I go, you know where I'm at, dude.

I'm in your hometown. And he goes, yeah, cool man. I go, where do you you know where I'm at, dude, I'm in your hometown. And he goes, yeah, cool man. I go, what do you in New York, he goes, no, cause he shoots that show, Shane and Gilly or whatever, his show. And he goes, no, we shoot that in Philly, I'm here all weekend. And he goes, I'm at a bar.

I didn't know this, Barstool has their own bars, Barstool sports. Yeah. So my boys at Barstool, Kevin and all those boys were all there with Shane. Wow. And you know, I never got, especially in Ph sports. Yeah. So my boys at Barstual, Kevin and all those boys were all there with Shane. Wow. And you know, I never got out, especially in Philly. Yeah.

But they're like, you gotta come by for one drink. So me and the squad go there for one drink, mean Shane had a drink, posted the pick. I was like, dude, you're not a bad looking dude. You don't have to look like that. Bring that pickup chain, it's on my Instagram. He thinks it's so funny. He goes, here's, listen dude, I get annihilated.

People make fun of my looks anyways. I'd go up, Shane. The one with he goes, he was listening, dude. I get annihilated. People make fun of my looks anyways. I'd go up, Chin. The one who shank you, let's do you go. Look at him. Big guy. Yeah, he was giving me shit. What do you mean, because he doesn't work out or something,

is that what you're saying? What do you mean? You say you don't have to look that way, what do you mean? He's not a bad looking guy, but he wants to make that face or he looks like peanut butter falcon. He goes, I'm taking the power from him. They're gonna make fun of me.

I look anyway, you're not bad looking guy dude. And I said, and then as I'm leaving, I go, now are you gonna be on GQ? No, that's not for you, that's not your path. But you're not badly. I never looked at him and thought I'm a bad looking guy. No, he was funny because when I was on Rogan Rogan was, you know, she's an athlete, man.

She had an I go, well, well, athlete, what do you, I was, and he goes, he was way play college football, I go, I think I only played a year, and then he'd stop doing it. He's like, well, no, he's, we're kind of, it's getting big, and I go, man, how, you know, me, that's triggering with athlete thing.

But Shane was like, dude, people hit me up about Rogue, and he's like, right, I played one year, one AA and quit, dude. He's like, so when we say, you're an athlete, I'm like, you know, I'm not busting your body, I'm like, I'm a fuck, dude. But I'm just saying, it's like, there's just different levels to it. So, you know, it's just different levels to it. And Shane was like, I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm not busking your bum, I'm like, oh, fuck dude. I'm just saying it's like, there's just different levels

to it. So, you know, it's a different level to it. And she was like, I'm with you, man. He's not agree with you, dude. I was like, you look great, though. Yeah. Now he pounds bears like he's fucking albundi. Yeah.

You know, like you don't know any about it, it drinks beer like him. Like when he's come to LA, he was doing an archery meritorious touring for a special. Wednesday night, seven o'clock. Hey, bro, meet me at the sports bar.A. we used to do in our show, we made it touring for a special. Wednesday night, seven o'clock. Hey bro, meet me at the sports bar. It was during the NFL season. Let's watch the game tonight and have some beers.

I'm a dad. Some people can drink, and they are 100%. We need to save Shane Gillis at all costs. He's the last, like a hard core, like American dad energy, even though he doesn't have kids. He's just that molding the lawn, doesn't shit how he dresses. Dresses like a Billy Gardell.

Billy Gardell dresses like an offense coordinator for high school football team, you know, like sweats, sandals, thinking about fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for anything. I was talking like, what do you do? He's selling tickets daddy. And it shows you. Thank you YouTube. thank you for anything. I was talking like what do you do? You know, he's selling tickets daddy and it shows you thank you YouTube. Thank you YouTube special Yeah, man. He's crushing it. That's why I told I said you gave me the conferences to put mine on YouTube

And you were the you and Mark normal the first ones like I'm not reinventing the wheel here Yeah, I just saw how many views you got like but that's more you can get on Netflix I'm central where I like 1.2 million now. Yeah. Should have made it. Hit on track to do it right around over 2 million. I love it. Yeah, but what's down.

Yeah, I didn't reinvent the wheel. Like you guys gave me inspiration. Yeah. And like I can't thank you enough. Yeah, because you put it on. You know, I was thinking about this. You put it on Netflix. I was watching like David Spades and stuff like that.

It gets lost in the shuffle, man. It gets lost. It's like, unless it's like trending like crazy. Like the good thing, the best deal I've ever heard is Christopher Stefano's special, especially washi. It's trending on Netflix, but it's only I think 26 minutes long or 36 minutes long.

The rest of it is on YouTube. So you're checking the box of Netflix, then you're also checking the box with your audience on YouTube. He's brilliant. That's the best way to do it. I told the staff, oh, I saw him in person in New York, Tony says, what do you think? Four months before I can't call you direct anymore.

I've talked to an assistant. He's like, no, never. I'm like, what do you think? He's such a good guy. He's such a good guy. He's such a good guy. He's such a good guy. He's such a good guy.

He's such a good guy. He's such a good guy. He's such a good guy. He's such a good guy. He's such soft. The best fucking guy. Well, for me, for my first time, I shot 60 minutes. The second time I shot 78 minutes, only because I wanted to get everything. So you can chop it up. Yeah, I just want all of it, I just want all of the material so I can just use it and put it out there. Yeah, yeah, if it's 78 minutes,

I mean, those 18 minutes can chop up as short bits to promote that. Exactly. Daddy's gonna help, right? I told you I bits to promote that. Exactly. Yeah. Daddy's gonna help, right? Yeah. I told you I got you. I love it.

Yeah, I hate I wasn't there, dude. Hate it. I'm so stressed. But daddy had birds in the audience. Yeah, yeah. All of them said it was a great man. All of them. Thanks, buddy.

They apparently had some rant on something and then you're like, that's not making this special. Yeah, you know, there's so much that you have. They said you're like doing like a long story about this. Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, it's not. Everybody's like, put it in. And I was like, I can't, you know, but it'll be out there. I would take it out.

And then after this special, it's like a long story for them then after you post it. Exactly. Bonus content. Exactly. I realized how much I had written over the past like two years as crazy as it's been. I just kept putting my energy into it.

You know, and, you know, I think I've told you this before and I think you and I have been talking about this a lot too. No matter what happens to you, man, no matter what happens to you, I think like if something really bad, whatever it might be, your job is, if you survive it, to orchestrate your life so that five years later, you wouldn't change it because it made you a better person. It made you a better comic, it made you a better person. It made you a better comic. It made you a better businessman. It made you a better person.

Yeah, you're obviously a lifeless man. What else do you do? What else do you do? Right? Yeah, my new thing is, and Mark knows this more than anyone, is when I was in Charlotte, I was just talking to, you know, the guys, Jay and David and Justin, I was just talking to them,

and I was talking about Mugsie Boggs, and how he should do this and this and this. And then they were dying laughing. I was like, oh, dude, there's something here. I'm gonna go get it. I'm sorry, I love that. So I got the idea as I go, I hired a videographer and I was like, oh, I'm gonna post this.

Just that's throw away, cause you're never gonna need Charlotte Materials Specific. So post it. And then after I was like, oh, for every city, when I get to the green room, I'm gonna write a bit. For every single, I'm gonna kick off every single show because this stuff, the flow.

The same thing, I've been thinking about it. So I did it for Philly about Ben Franklin, which we're gonna post this week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want a hard and thin thing. I love that you're doing this. I went hard on the pain on Ben Franklin. And with that also, right, for me,

like the narrative of this toxic Reddit, I talked about Ben Franklin's, like, dark history, and I go, you're not going to learn about this in any textbook. I go, oh, I found this, I'm Ben Franklin's Reddit. And I go, you think, mind this toxic? Look at Ben Franklin's subreddit, it is bad. The crowd dying, because, self in the room. They know what's up, so it's just, dude.

That's great. I was poking holes in it. Dude, I was, I gotta tell tell you that kid loved what you did. And I had some eyes in the crowd. And they said that you did some shit. I think they said the Saturday first show or something was you were like, it was unbelievable. Oh, dude.

I did. All right, that's all I did. Again, dude. Again. I'm sorry. I did 120 minutes. Yeah, again. Really?

I love you for that. Because someone yelled out some about Amber Herd, and I went, would you say? And then I had like just riffing five, six minutes on Amber Herd. So, so, so. Yeah, dude. So whatever goes on, whatever negativity goes on, it just makes you better. Because now you go, oh, oh, really? Oh, you know what? Cool. Thank you for that. oh, oh, really? Oh, you know what, cool.

Thank you for that. No, you're healthy. Yeah, you're healthy. Thank you. Now I will, now I will let me see if I can prove y'all wrong. That's all. And that's all you can do. And I think it was Nietzsche who said,

if I ever have children, I wish for them conflict, loss, controversy, and an obstacle, after obstacle. It is the only way you will become a fully realized human people who understands themselves. Yep. And it's like an older, those are gifts there, are not the nonsense.

They're angels, they're not demons. Yep. I'm fucking serious, man. Maybe that's where religion comes from. I'm wearing fucking, nobody has talked about how fucking beautiful my lilac sweatshirt is, dude. I do like the color, dad. I'm fairly colorful today.

Dude, I bought a hoodie yesterday from this, I was at the mall, I see the strongener, I heard of that. So I went and talked to this lady, she was like, probably your age but dressed like a fuckboy, like fly. Yeah. She looked good. Yeah, I thought older and I appreciate that. And I was like, what is this store? She goes, oh, it's me and my husband's. We started New York. It's all sourced and handmade in LA. And I was like, oh, you're,

because I run a merch business. I was like, you know, we have to outsource, not in America. I was like, so your margins must be insane. She's like, it's so expensive to run LA, but we're providing jobs in LA. That's why we do it. We have this vision.

I was like, dude, I'm in, man. I bought this hoodie that is gonna offend you so bad. Yeah. It looks like I'm wearing a cape. Really? It's short in the front and then there's a long cape in the back. Boy, I know. That's it.

I know. When she pulled out, she was the only thing that we have that will fit you right now, because we sell out of our bigger size so fast. I have this hoodie. So number one, one 7 hoodie I've won in the back She has kind of a cape thing on it. I went say cape. She was young I'll see it she brings out my girl goes now. I'll tell you yet. She was young. You should try it on you I love Kate. Does it come with a falcon? Oh, it'd be sick

It comes with eyeliner That was so so wait about a kid so better fashion Johnny Debb Jared Jared Leto. Oh, Jared Leto all day. Really? He's the face of fucking Gucci. Yeah. Johnny Depp's more,

John, I don't even know who he looks at Johnny. I want to dress like Jack Sparrow, you know what I'm saying? I don't know how that kid looks that good at 50 and it's 50. It's crazy. Ah. To next, a mother. I saw him at a party and I was like in person. He was like magical.

Magical. So you look 35. I know. I'm not gay man, but I say I'm not gay man, but he bring him around, dude. I don't know what happens. You don't know what happens. Tiger, Tiger thick is flowing.

He shows up and he's like, this whiskey. What is this? A blend of bourbon and American bourbon in Japanese whiskey and you go, yeah, and then he goes, nobody's ever done and American bourbon in Japanese whiskey and you go Yeah, and then he goes nobody's ever done that before and you go. It's your palette man. This is insanious It's what I do up in here 50 years my man Oh, what And you as did you you see my room like the whole wide-footed sea room. We go come check it out

Now I'd walk you guys that'll water bed is last one they make man, he Then he goes like this. He goes, goots, he gave that to me. What's going on with your ears? It's a gootsie water bed. It's kind of with your ears, y'all. He's like, he's scared. He's like, you're frightening. And I go, dude, what's that water bed? Well, it doesn't look like water.

He's like, it's actually cool laid. You like cool laid, right? I love cool laid goes, go and suck on that thing, get some cool laid out, man. Then we're sipping cool laid. I'm sipping cool laid. And then he goes, hey, you know what's fucking weird? And he goes, your lips are all red. And I go, you're silly, man, he goes, go and suck on that thing, get some cool laid out man. Then we're sipping cool, like I'm sipping cool. And then he goes, hey, you know what's fucking weird? And he goes, your lips are all red.

And I go, you're silly man, he goes, I was yours are red and he's like, do you, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, big old balls just jacked it. A little more time. Yeah, but your tongue's red from drinking the koo-ray. Yeah, and he's like, ah! Who's that? I'm like, that's my keeper. That's my, that's my handler. That's my keeper.

And then you call him the gimp, youngy. I can fix this, Brian faced the wall. Then he just see me face the wall crowd. And you see my shitter. Yeah. Just my balls. And it's just you keep hearing. And that's just you going.

Yep. And he goes, he's just going to that all night, go all night, daddy. He's 60, did could cut a diamond. Look at them big balls, Jared. Look at them big balls. Look at that gray ass hair. Then I'm gonna say, hey, you tell me if this is out of line, it's your place, man.

That's your water bed. I'm a fan. Is it cool if he dips his nuts in the coolin' and we suck on him? They're just dragging on the floor. My nuts are just dragging on the floor. Just an idea here, you've been running the ship this whole time and I'm on board, dude.

Are you cool if the old man drops his nuts in your coolant, water bed? My nuts are sitting on the suck on them. Is that weird? They're sitting on the oak floor and I go, is this Spanish oak? My balls are sensitive. They got feelers.

I don't want these splinters, dude. I got a splinter in my sack. I'm gonna have to break you guys up. I need you to get some tweezers. And then Jared's gonna say, are you wearing my Gucci scarf? You're my guy found the closet, cause I've been in there this whole time.

I've been in there. I saw you guys making out, man. Nudeling around. And then you go, here's where it gets diced. You're gonna hate to do this. And I'm not gonna do it if you let me dip my nuts in your Kool-Aid water bed. This is where it takes place do it if you let me dip my nuts in your cool-aid water bed This is ridiculous. I'm gonna play you dip my nuts in your cool-aid water bed

But I shot video of you in the big man Rastlin rast and when the old do any old pornographic grapple. Yeah, yeah, they old cinematics show down Yep, yep, I saw you guys doing that now. I'm gonna go live with this. You don't give me 20 million dollars That's it. Yeah, there you go And you and I rye for something and your wardrobe Now I'm gonna go live with this. You don't give me $20 million. That's it. There you go. And then you and I arrive for some time. And your wardrobe, because I'm changing my look, and we fit. Oh, you could fit it.

You were the same size. And now every day I show up in fucking Jared Leto's wardrobe. But then Jared roasts you online and he goes, those are all clothes that I wore when I played that transgender with AIDS. I was 90 pounds. And I go, you want an Oscar? Yep, good enough for me.

He's like, he doesn't even fit me anymore. That's for my old wardrobe. You have my gene shorts on when I played a transgender and Dallas buyer. Chokes on me. I liked that story, I ended with blackmail and then getting roasted for wearing a transgender costume. From Dallas buyer Bioska.

We had to represent every... That was an incredible jury. Hey guys, great guys, trans guys. We had to impress people. Double dipping your nuts in Kool-Aid. Yeah, that's good too. There was a lot of great images in that. Thanks, buddy.

Thanks, man. Heavy nuts. No better image than me as Fred Flintsoe, Barney Rebel, and the Dino. Uh-huh. That's fantastic. Doesn't he look like a Dino? That would be merch, dude.

I don't think that way. I'm so happy with his arms. He's in that pink shirt. In that pink shirt. So you didn't know that he was wearing and he was going pink up top. No. I didn't even know it.

This was not planned. And then here's the thing. Look at Mark and Chins' kicks. Oh, yep. Oh, talk to me about the kicks. Beacuse I was out there with some suplex. Bless you. Yeah, I went to suplex. They hook the entire team up. Jay got some dope kicks I get some kicks that are gonna piss you off Brian really

Yeah, let me see him can I see a pick bring up Travis Scott Jordan once Jen I put the pink laces in one of those The I just I won these off the night gap Do you not wear do you not wear socks with most issues? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What do I know? I apologize. Are these ones?

Those are nice though. I'm not mad at those. The blue ones. The ones. Yeah, those are it. Hey, suplex, I need a pair of 10 and a half. Those are about nine grants or they are. Yeah, I didn't pay that for them.

Why are they so expensive? This is just so rare, but they see other checks backwards. Oh, it's a Travis Scott cloud. Yeah Wow, Nike allows that Yeah, it's a collab with Nike. Yeah, Nike did that nine grants. Oh For the size I know what about what's Mark was sport right now? You're gonna tell me what these are. I had no idea. I just said I picked out a couple and said you have these into 13 and he said no, I was going for like either these nice running shoes potentially like airmax nerd alert some new balance. Yeah, and those are those are no those are Jordans, I believe. Yeah, I don't have the context I understand this because as I've said before I only purchased a skate shoe called ES sneakers. And when I said that in a story, the owner reached out and was like,

we'll hook you up. And I was like, this is the most affirming moment of my life. Yeah. I think these are cool though. Those are so sick. Those just came out. Those are hard to get. Those are not 13.

No, they are. Because like after he didn't have the first couple, I was like, tell you what, just whatever you got in 13, you picked something for me. And he came out with these. And I was like, I really like the way those look. And then David Lucas was like, man, you don't want those. Yeah, David's trying to get like, hey, this is my impression at a sneaker shop.

Can I deadlift in these? And they're like, I don't know. I'm like, I know, dude. Every shit, can I deadlift in these? I don't know, man, it's a fucking sneaker. That's my only matrix for understanding. It's like, there's a lot of colors going on. I don't know because there's such a difference in value between different, know, man, it's a figure. That's my only matrix for understanding. It's like, there's a lot of colors going on. I don't know because there's such a difference

in value between different, like, imagine you don't know anything about Jordans and you walk in there to say, how am I de- A lot of these, you know, how am I categorizing the color? It's like with wine, it's like B with wine. How many good wines are there? And then you're like, I guess I take this one so I'm like, dude, that's a $3,000 bottle of wine.

You don't know shoes. I can't look at it, I'm going. a 3,000 dollar bottom line. You know shoes. I can't look. You don't know. I'm going. This is the 200 R1. This is the five right. That would be me too. I told him that the mic at suplex. I was like, dude, you don't waste. Yeah, I don't know anything. So I just want to and then they just randomly pick out a shoe for chin and chin. I love his fucking Air Max 90s. I love it too. Those are cool. Now here's the thing about you. Air Max 90s. Yeah, really cool. Those are great kicks. I love those are cool. Now here's the amount of those are max 90s. Yeah, really cool. Those are great kicks They got where they got hounds tooth on them. All right. He said rubber gum bottom. Yeah, the bottom is called gum box But there's hounds to them. I'm pretty sure there's no

Yeah, Laura's in here. Now here's the thing about chin and philly Chin was not sober one minute in Philadelphia I was on vacay You were drunk not drunk, but I was not sober. Wow. Philadelphia. I was on VK. You were drunk. Not drunk, but I was not sober. Wow. I was just enjoying my time there. Yeah, it was great.

Did you guys filly stake it up? Yep, yeah. We did. There was one right around the corner. One and a half. Yeah, filly stake course, I'm like that. Now what did you do for breakfast? You didn't eat breakfast?

Oh, come on, Dave. You know, I don't eat about two, three. Yeah, now we didn't eat anything. I've been eating today. Sticked to your carnivore diet. No, because I had a piece of pizza at Sueplex, which breaks it, and then I had half of Philly and Cheese Steak. Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, start to do it. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, but again, I'm about 96% carnivore, no carbs. I had all I had was, but people are getting upset. I'm gonna do a mean grid, like, do what the fuck, thick boy? Yeah. I'm like, I'm not, there you go.

What's your diet, you'll stress. Ha ha, yeah, stress. Hey, B, let's take a thick boy. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not. There you go. What's your diagonal stress? Ha ha ha. Yeah, stress. Hey, B, let's take a little break, dude, to keep the house lights on at Thick Boy Studios. You're gonna be in West Palm Beach this weekend. This weekend, dude, in June, I am in Portland, in July. We're also in June, I'm in San Francisco, then July, I'm gonna be in San Diego,

and then we're adding another fun date there. But Portland, you're up next, Cowns and Palm Beach. What's Palm Beach in this? It's great, man. It should take us a T-fat KZ. F-A-T-K-Z. F-A-C-K-C.

dot com of Ryan County. For me, thinkboy.com, listen, dude, but this app's sponsored by Real Keytones, not fake Keytones, Real Keytones, their product is specifically BHB is the most incredible wellness tool on the market. Well, because it's hard to stay in ketosis, right? And you try to be as ketosis as you can, so you need a little help.

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All right, promo code is shop at the AB 10% off. Get your shredded keto. Keto kid. I'm gonna buy half a cow and I'm gonna deep freeze it. I'm gonna get a grass fed cow looking into it. Hey, Keto kid. Hey, hey, boy, quick killing animals. Wow.

Hey, quick killing animals. Hey bad guy from Instagram, true or two? This is quick killing these animals. I gotta have, I know, I to know where my cow comes from bro I bought a cow and caught in college because trying to gain weight for the NFL but a straight up a cow Yeah, not like a live one I but I'm a butcher my kid. I need all the meat. I'm trying to put on weight for the NFL and I had tea bones, filets You know how much did you eat? You just eating crazy. Not, not, not.

Like potato, I'd say. Potatoes, that, rice. Oh, what I do, I boil a, like, nine cups of rice, and then just eat rice and bread meat. Can you, you can eat a lot if you really want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what, it's certain things too. Like that afters ice cream, my girl last night

was at your home. You can cheat on your diet, because I've been good all day, even on the plane, I didn't touch anything, nothing. And then she gave me good, it's the American Idol finale, I like the good point, it's our favorite show, it's coming to an end.

And so she got a pint of my favorite ice cream from afters, afters. I don't know, afters. Great fucking ice cream. I like, I'm a Jenny's guy. Doing the, Jenny's a great too. And then there's salt and straw. Yeah, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not Yeah. And they're salt and straw. Yeah, if you're not, if you're not,

if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not,

if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not,

if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, Blue for cooking monster, they have the best flavors, they have this coffee one. My girl got a pint of it. I ate my dinner, which was carnivore. I just had to stay for dinner. And I went, you got the ice cream, she was like, I got it just for you, because I only want to relax tonight.

And I went, oh, you bought a pint? Why would you do that? Because I thought you loved it. I go, I do, but you don't realize you're dealing with an addict. And I have four cavities, which I got to still call your guy. I have two weeks off from the road, so I'm gonna get fixed this week. Let's go.

Daddy can do it. Call him up. So when I eat ice cream, I eat it like an old man of no teeth. I have to suck on it so I can't touch the back teeth. Yeah. I suck on the entire pint. Like it was jerked, let those nuts.

Yeah. Dropped in fucking kool-aid. Yeah. The entire pint. Good call back. Thank you, sir. Deep call back. Dude, the entire pint, daddy ate all of it. And you, so the reason of it and You so the reason you know I sugar does that to your cavities?

My dentist told me cuz I told you were having a body say it it creates acid Sugar mixed with just saliva. I guess creates an acid and if you haven't exposed nerve that acid goes right to that fucking That's interesting. I know what yeah creates in a sitting That's why your teeth get rotten with sugar. It creates a fucking acidic compound. Roll. It if it hits those horrible.

Yeah, some of the worst paying the world. Yes, that's correct. That is correct. That is, there's nothing worse in getting your teeth drilled when it'll cut right through. No, I'm gonna call your guy to schedule something. I have to. Enough's enough, dude.

I have enough's enough. And you're probably gonna have to get yourself into some vis line. No, I don't call your guy to schedule something. I have to. Enough's enough, dude. I have enough's enough. And you're probably gonna have to get yourself into some of this line. No, I don't care about them being straight. I just don't underhurt. Let me see. Your teeth, the problem is your bite is your bite's off and it's gonna cause a problem.

You're never gonna fix that. You can do it, you can do it. Too much work. Yeah, I got four more teeth. Do you see the teeth? Is what's gonna end me? I know. My teeth, I know. That teeth is what's gonna end me my teeth That's not what's gonna take daddy out. That's not the nail in the coffee daddy's not worried Daddy's six four two

40 four right now. Not bad. Yeah, dude. Not bad skinny two four four six four or about it to 46 that's impressive So two four four don't eat alcoholic, that's fine. But also not eating carbs and that's important. And you are important to- Nice suck on ice cream. And you suck on ice cream. But it's gonna be fun to be able to-

You'll get that shit fixed right away. That'll fix those teeth. And you will- In and out, right? Easy work. You know, it's gonna be a little while. Now listen, you're gonna have- Yeah.

Yeah, it's gonna suck. Yeah, it's good thing is I don't go through a teeth clean because I did that like three weeks ago. Yeah listen, you're gonna have to. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna suck. Yeah, it's a good thing is I don't have to go through a teeth clean because I did that like three weeks ago. Yeah, he's not gonna, he's not gonna, you just gonna have to, he's, he better be gentle, dude. If there's anybody who's, who can keep the game over the first time.

He's like anal for the first time, be gentle, dad. Give me some poppers and I'll pick a spout on the wall. Yeah, put, yeah, put me under, dude. That's it. And you'll be fine. I'm, I'm very confident you'll be fine. I'll be there to hold your hand. No, God.

All right, Chin, what do you got, dude? All right. All right, we'll start off with some marks. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Let's see what we have here. The Gila monster. There you are.

Oh, what the fuck? The, the, the, this is dorked on a nose job. Do you know the details on this mark? Um, I can read it if you want. Yeah, good. Okay, what? All right, so a store was given a special delivery. It received a new beak.

Sometimes they do this, they're like, they mold stuff to, you know, and animal has a limb missing or a thing missing. I just thought this was pretty cool. It damaged its beak in an accident and required. Anyone who was taken to Horde Baggy Bird's Hospital, 111 miles east of the capital of Budapest, the bird's beak was repaired by a veterinarian,

Thomas Cote, who rebuilt the bottom beak and made an entirely new top part. I don't know, they did that. Yeah, they can grow bladders now and they can grow an ear on, they can grow, got a grip of dick on his own arm, right? Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, they're dick-form.

That's the new frontier. That's the new frontier. Like growing tissue regeneration is everything. But that, that's historic. They just fix it up and then it goes on the wild. Is it like the first chick to get a nose job? Like, is the other friend like, Jesus Christ, dude.

Probably, we'll say. Your nose looks ridiculous. Well, you life, though. Your beak looks insane, Gary. Yeah, your beak is. So can they have taken a little bit off the top? You have the same size of beak as us. Who are you fooling?

Yeah, you don't fool anybody. It's like an adept arm. The thing doesn't even look like us. It's saying the same color, Gary. It just friends lying to him and you think like, no, it looks great. No, keep Gary away from me. Gary, your beak's sweet man. Your face is orange. Yours is green.

If you have a green beak, dumbass. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I didn't know they could do that for animals. It's heartwarming for me because I'm like, oh, that bird's life was terrible before. Oh, I have a question. I mean, Brian was going to kill and make a sandalist.

Yes, I was. That's true. We do have all that. We do have austral skin. You don't have st was. We do have, we do have austral skin. You don't have stork though. No, but we have austral skin. Slip flops. Quick idea.

For people that have babies, the gift is you know, some stork sandals. Not a bad idea, dude. Light blue. Light blue with brown leather. Oh, bunny day, which means that's a good idea in French. Now, Bob, wait, I want to get your take Now, Bob, wait. I want to get your take. Let's kill him.

I want to get your take. Everybody's taken on Jordan Peterson went bad on the SI swimsuit cover model, which, you know, didn't need to be done. What do you think of that? Uh, can you miss an office? What do you say? Uh, he said this is not beauty. Yeah.

Cause it's a big, thick girl, like, you know, I mean like, like, like, like, Lizo vibe. You know what I'm saying? Like, if I'm Jordan, and I do, I really enjoy Jordan Peterson. My thing is with Jordan Peterson, you know, we have same agent. So, you know, he's very close to them, just this. So, I go, the only caveat I have here is like, not to fight to pick, right?

But my thing is like, a lot of your fans probably aren't gonna win the Olympia either dude. So they might be out of shape. So I think the way if you wanna say, oh, why are we promoting this? He says, sorry, not beautiful. And no amount of authoritarian tolerance is gonna change that.

Cool. I know so many dudes and girls who like big guys. I agree. Yeah. They love them. That's their vibe. I'm personal. So yeah, so for Jordan, he should've been like, man, to me,

this is in beauty. God bless the rest of you that dig this. But one thing is to criticize her, cool, that's you wanna do that, you think. But then to go, Twitter's so toxic, I'm out. No, no, no, no, no. You don't get to post this hateful shit. And then when the game gets gnarly, you'll get out.

Yeah, yeah. Like if you're gonna give it, you gotta be able to take it. As a huge fan of Jordan Peterson, I think this was, this kind of missed the mark. I don't think it was necessary. I think what he was talking about was, whoa, culture, she's pretty hot. That's my other thing.

She ain't that a lot of guys that find this very attractive. That's like your first choice. She is actually very beautiful. She's just bigger and some men, a lot of men like this, a lot of men. So I, you know, I was going to say there's a legit there. It's a conscious progressive attempt to manipulate and retool the notion of beauty, relying on the 80 philosophy that such preferences are learned and properly changed by those who know better. So one of the things about scientists that they have, I told you that they've done is that even congenitally blind men have never seen a woman

when you have them touch a woman with the 70, 30 ratio hit to waist ratio, they prefer that. And there are certain standards of beauty that cut across all cultures, proportion, symmetry, even infants will stare at a symmetrical face longer than they will otherwise. Yeah, baby, they're more like open to attractive people. Men, women, they've done studies, women prefer the smell of men who are more symmetrical after they sweat. They've done all these studies. The science is not, the science is not very complimentary to a woke ideology. Personally though, I don't have a problem

with SI putting her on the cover because there are people that consider that beautiful. I think she's actually very beautiful. She's sexy. I think she's sexy. I think Jordan's off on this one. I think he should have put up the Trico, not my preference.

I'd be worried about a cholesterol or diabetes down the road. If we want to keep marketing that this is how everybody should look, I don't agree with it. But let that slide in that choice. I mean, people are either going to buy the magazine or not. And so for me,

because it's clearly obesity issue in America. Sure. But she's not obese. No. She's not obese. And maybe her insides are fine. She's not blood pressure. She's vegetarian with her.

She's just a big girl. But to say she's not pretty. Yeah. It's a deal. There are a lot of women that probably appreciate the fact that, you know, because it's really hard being really heavy in a look. I want to get your take on this too, actually. I want to get your take on this.

So the Kardashians, the amount of plastic surgery they've had, they start to look all the same, right? And a lot of women look up to them. I don't think they look the same, I don't think they look the same, I've seen them in person. I don't think they look the same. I do think they're very attractive. Now, they've had a lot of work done, which isn't the message we wanna give to young girls.

Okay, so that's what I'm saying. It doesn't feel like a health problem. But it feels like that's more of a problem than SI putting a woman like this on. No, but beautiful. That happens to be home. You don't have both of them. There's no problem.

The problem comes down to parents where it's like, if your kid's so insecure, your kid looks, because Kim Kardashian's not going, hey, make sure you get a butt lift, make sure you do your nose. Yeah. Never.

Society is going, we'll look at them, they're fake. And Kim's like, whoa, hold up, this is what I like. I think it's pretty. You guys vibe with it and I have all the followers in the world. Cool. I would have done this regardless, what she did. Because remember, big asses when she was in high school

was not the thing. When my girl who has given this god giving ass, she didn't, it's not fake. She was born with that ass. When she was coming to high school, that wasn't the hot thing. Yeah. Because of Kim Kardashian, curves,

and those big asses are the thing now. Kim didn't ask for that. Society put that on her. So now the society's going, oh, but you got a nose job too. She's like, yeah, that's what I like to do. I'm not telling people we get nose jobs. Yeah.

So it's not like it's not like Kim. It's on society. Probably not even a say. I know a lot of ways all of this talk isn't isn't the hell to die on. It's like, it's like, yeah, that was my takeaway. It's like, I was going to say the difference between actively combating like the fat acceptance movement, which is a different thing going. You're forcing this thing down by saying everything is beauty.

You know, like that's what happens. Yeah, it's okay to be fat on health. Right. But then lockdown, because COVID, fat people die fast. Right. Wait, hold on. Do we want to promote obesity? Or do we want to say, hey, what we're seeing is in COVID deaths, the underlying health condition

and being out of shape is really dangerous. That's my thing. And that's the only way. And that's the only way. That's my thing. And that's the only problem. That's just the answer about everything. That woman on S.I. in my opinion is beautiful. She's got a lot of beauty to her. There are a lot of guys that are a lot of guys that will be very happy.

Oh, I know so many guys who are beautiful. You see that chicken and sports, those are she's hot. Yes. Cool, man. And you see her other pictures, like if you saw her walking on the street, she's very pretty. Mm-hmm. Having said all that, I do think also that when

the fat accepted movement is, I don't actually have a problem with that, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but but you don't hear them say that. Let's be straightforward. I think you can be extreme one set, and then the other thing is it's a different conversation saying, I don't believe in extreme fat acceptance ideology is a different thing than being like individually, this chick ain't pretty, which feels more like fat she yet. I don't like that. That's how Pearson came off. Like a little bit, it's like damn, so they're like related.

You, I guarantee you the backlash, I know, the backlash that he's getting from his crowd, like I think that's where he's gonna have to check himself. For him to say, oh, Twitter's being mean. Like for me, like, if I was getting hate because I was spewing hate, if I was saying, Brian, can I have the worst comic ever,

fuck him, I've only been doing it six years, I'm better than him. Dude, you deserve all the hate you're getting. You signed up for this, buddy. You're the one criticizing other comics. Have you ever heard him criticize a comic? No. Have you ever heard me talk gossip and go bad on anybody?

Never. When I have every right to, especially now, I could light some of these fucking terrible comics up who are judging me. Easily. I never would. I don't play that game. But for Jordan Peason who plays that game

and then goes, I'm out. You guys are toxic. It's like, well, dude, you just spit venom and you knew what you were doing. And now that you're getting out of it because even your family's like, whoa, dude, that's not cool. That's not cool.

Yeah, and I think it's a positive that people can't hurt defense in a way. Yeah. You know, like, because I don't like that fat shaming shit at all. No. And the other thing is I guarantee that woman already got plenty of hate. I guarantee that they put her on there

and her name is Yumi Nu. She's obviously, I guarantee dealing with a whole bunch of assholes who just feel like they gotta say some shit to her. That's not very nice. But even Kim Kardashian, nobody gets more hate than Kim Kardashian. Also, but Kim's not out there going, make sure you, yeah, she's bad, dude. Like Kim Kardashian is gets more hate than Kim Kardashian also but Kim's not out there going make sure you

Yeah, she's bad dude like Kim Kardashian is an out there going make sure she's this. She's gorgeous. Yeah Like it shows the other one go back for a sec go back I'm gonna tell you right now those two girls show up at a fucking party and There are a lot of guys that are gonna be looking to get involved most guys. Yeah Now are a lot of guys that are gonna be looking to get involved. Most guys. Yeah. Now, are a lot of them black? I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

I didn't say that. I didn't say that. There may not be a lot of skinny white guys. I was thinking that we're all thinking that. No, a lot of skinny white girls are into that. And skinny white boys are into that too. Of course there are. Right.

And there's a different stigma around it in like a month. She's beautiful. A month's together. But she's hot. Now when she turns,. But she's hot now when she turns five. I think she's hot. No, me too. She's bad as shit. But when she turns 50, it could get dicey.

Maybe. Is she Polynesian? What's her national? No, no, no, no, you mean sounds Japanese. Yeah, sounds Japanese. I bet her dad's Jap dude, I call it right now. Before you look it up, I bet her dad's Japanese born and raised. Her mom is from Nebraska.

I would guess, I would guess. Big, I'm liking cornstead, big girl. I'm like, now hold on, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I got, she's got, she definitely has some weight in her. Dutch. Oh Dutch, big people Dutch, the Dutch are big. Yep, Japanese and Dutch, all right. There you go.

But then people are also mad that Kim Kardashian is also on the front cover, Sports L Shade. Like, oh, we're promoting it. Kim got way more hate than this big girl. Yeah. Why? You're telling me Kim Kardashian, who posted a picture in that like long string bikini? Have you seen that?

If that doesn't make your dick call, you like man. I need to say that. And that's fine. Let me see. But people, I can't, but like I've lost so much respect for sports illustrate. Okay. Are you shitting me?

Go to that other one, chin, where she's in the pool. Like an alligator with her ass out. Why did they do that? No, not the old lady. Yes. That's sports illustrate. You have Promet, but you're in there? What am I saying?

The two covers, big girl and her. Kim got more hate. Can I ask you guys, have you ever been offended by a woman's body? Because there's 10 people on the plant that look like that, and I'm married to one. Yeah. Have you ever been offended by a woman

dressing like scantily? Because it seems like some men are sort of like, their knee jerk reaction is like, it's like, it's like, it's like, but it's like, they've fucked themselves. There is certain guy friends I have that have this instinct where they'll complain to me about, like, I'm like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, and a fry pose like those are fucking stupid right like that piece of shit man there would drive that. Oh, you feel that way that's your own

that's your own insecurity that's why you're mad at that's why you're mad at Kim Kardashian. Cloudy. You never touch her. Never. Yeah. Now there might be a little hope because she's didn't pee Davidson right. So that you're like maybe, right? And you know, our boy, uh, uh, fucking comic, New York guy, Vessie, um, uh, Paul Versey, Paul Versey. Um, he's really good friends with Pete Davidson. He said, I go, what's he like? He goes, he's the nice guy in the world. Yeah, I do. I had to come and start. I mean, green one. He's the nicest guy. I always defend Pete. Yeah. Pete's a good dude. It's another one where people, funny guys

go like, I don't get it. It's like, I get it. I can look and see why women love him. He's not a single man. He's funny and has styles. He's different. Yeah, he's got a lot of people. He's original. He's an original and a kind person.

All right, let's go. Oh, more. Good take, though, B. Yeah, I think that I'm usually on board during Peterson, then when I went out, when I, as soon as I saw it, my brother sent to me, screenshot goes, look at your, look at Peterson, it, my brother sent to me. He's going to say, look at Peterson. Oh, he fucked up this time.

He fucked up a little bit. And now you gotta do damage controls. Because while your fans aren't gonna win the Olympia dude, and they, you know, they should, everyone struggles with that thing. That was a bit of a knee jerk thing lately. And then you're gonna get out. Come on, you gotta take it on the chin, buddy.

If you're gonna, if you're gonna spew hate you get it back can go this places to toxic i'm out of here no no no stand stay in the cut dude yeah stay in that fox hole you're the one that asked for it man that's like someone a bomb at russia and then getting mad they're bombing you back now you stay in the fox hole dude we knew what he was trying to say because we talked about this before the shows before but for whatever he's so smart

I'm surprised he put that tweet out old man's vibes. Yeah, must be a conversation. It's kind of like what he's saying is that there's a lot of scientific literature that would suggest that beauty standards are not solely cultural. Yeah, they are there are certain throughlines that all societies throughout time have held up to be beauty when you're speaking of feminine beauty and even male beauty. Yeah, no. So, that's like me being mad at Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sebastian as long as when I grow up, when I grow up, those were my nose charts, that's all I saw on TV.

There's no podcasts, there's no social media. So I was like, oh, I want to be jack like them. Now that I'm not jack like them, you think I'm like those pieces of shit. How dare they give me this false hope. Now, dude, they worked their ass off the ton of steroids. I was eight. Yes. And I thought by getting a flat top, I'd be shredded. I'm not. Male beauty is interesting because with women, they've done these studies with what are women find the most attractive across the board big guys Strong jaw and big nose big nose probably big no big nose is on there. Yeah, but it's masculine

So broad broad shoulders, like a person of waste to shoulders broad shoulders height Broad shoulders big eyes strong jaw. Yeah, like cavemanmen, like close to you and get to a caveman, just just in their DNA. Provider protector, those things that resonate with us. There's certain red things that resonate with our psychic structures, like DNA. Yeah, and one of the things that Carl Jung noticed was that when people have dreams, fears, and go into states of psychosis,

where they go crazy, no matter where they are on the globe, they all have very similar fears, similar nightmares. They're certain. It's all related. It's kids' names with our fucking the shadows, the darkness, the snakes, all that, it all kind of, so. Small hands.

Yeah. Small, I don't know what it's all about. It's too tight of a hand. That's really, going bald. Yes, going bald is always sexy. It's not good. If you're holding money. Small I don't know if it's all too tired of so let's go to the go-in ball. Yes going ball It's always sexy if you if you're holding money. I got peace of that home. I got my p2 GG bang bang GG bang bang bang GG bang bang Hi, Ellen offers basic income for artists. Hey, you're missing you're missing the millie dinner

Fuck man. You're not there. I got to be a West Palm Beach. Oh shit. This weekend everybody. Yeah, give it to him. Friday Saturday Sunday, West Palm Beach improv. I'm bringing heads. Come say aye. Now are you gonna make the show on Monday? We've talked about this, Daddy.

Daddy is leaving at 8 a.m. It's gonna be tough, but I was five a.m. At 12.30. Oh wow. That's dedication, brother. Come on, man. Oh Jeff dies on Wednesday. Oh beautiful.

Hello. Great. Yeah, but man. Oh Jeff dies on Wednesday. Oh beautiful. A lot. Great. Yeah, but the Millie dinner is on Thursday because I told the whole stat, listen, I'll be completely honest. I did not think the special hit of million views. So when Mike was like, what's the goal? I said, success to me, you know, around a million.

I don't think he's gonna hit that and Mike goes, what if it does? I go, say what? Since you guys shot it to all this, if it hits a million views, I'll take the entire staff out to scope on my favorite restaurant. And Mike's like, promise me I'll shake on it. And so we have 12 people, staffs 12, you know.

And so, To get the private room. Get the private room. I love it. Yep, they can order whether you want. I'm just gonna run you some money, but it's gonna cost that even some money. It's so worth it.

It's so hard on it. It's all worth it. Yeah, it's gonna be great. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But you you and me and maybe somebody else. Yep. We'll go to a republic. Yep You'll be up Let's move it. I need you to get involved. I know just scope you know, then they've been you know scopa blast my special out And they have tiger thick whiskey there. Do they yeah, dude, so'm gonna blow up a blast, my special out, and they have Tiger Thick whiskey there. Do they? Yeah, dude. So it's like, those are our boys, man.

I was saying on the shop show, I went on a hard run on judging, but on the shop show, I was saying how Scopa was our cheers. When I first came to LA, Scopa was like our, we ran friends with a hunger of that coffee shop, but I figured it's called, but that was like our hangout. We'd always meet there, dude. That was always our shit. It was so close, it was all over.

The best, we're always there. I still do it. That's where Avakini Fight Club came from. I know. It's great. Now, the fuck was I gonna say? What are you gonna say? You looked at the whiskey.

I'm about to figure it out. I'm about to figure it out. About my big dick. My big dick. My buddy, I'm gonna fucking put him on blast. My fucking buddy, Brian Cooley, he's got two Jiu-Jitsu schools in Nashville, right? And the fucking guy, he's the one who introduced me to whiskey.

Like I remember he was drinking blans and he gave me some blans. I was like, I like whiskey. So I kinda went down a rabbit hole, cause I'm blind. Fucking guy, and I hope he listens to this. Fucking guy comes to my house. I have a little, you know, get together on a Friday to celebrate the special and stop.

We're all drinking. And I got some, somebody gave me this gift of this really nice whiskey. What was it? He's a big boy. He's six, six, about 255, 260, big, big guy. Yeah, too big. And he starts drinking whiskey.

And then four hours later. You fucking look. He goes, he's wrecked it. He goes, he's wrecked it. He goes, sorry, I go, what? He was empty bottle, totally sober, empty bottle. So he can drink. He can drink and he was completely sober. I was like, how the fuck did you drink a bottle?

And also, hey, and then he just kind of threw it away because I'll buy his new whiskey. What, what, you don't remember what whiskey was? It was a nice, expensive bourbon that somebody gave me as a gift. Thanks, Brian. Thanks a lot. He's down to that. Yeah, whatever. He's a veteran. I gave back. Oh, yeah, he gave back. Come on.

Now, that bottle of tiger thick, that's for your house, right? You're not gonna email somebody to promise that to somebody. No, I swear, this is my private consumption. And I need a blended whiskey. I need a Japanese bourbon. I like this whiskey. Not just saying this. And Rogan, me and Rogan were talking about it.

It's a really good whiskey. It really is. It's an excellent, did he say that to you on the show? It's a good whiskey. We didn't get drunk on the show. So drunk, had to pull the Uber over and throw up. Oh, okay. Yep, I said it.

Yep. Sorry, I didn't eat that day. Yeah. Can I eat? I need to eat. I know. All right, what else do you have? I feel fine.

I'm lightheaded. What do you got, Jen? All right. You guys were talking about us earlier? Arlin. Where are we? Yeah. Yeah, it's the first time I heard of it.

I like it. I like that they're supporting their art. Art is the cornerstone of a culture. And that's what Korea did. Where are we? Yeah. Basically, it's the first time I heard of it. I like it. I like that they're supporting their art. Art is the cornerstone of a culture. And that's what Korea did. Korea, the reason Korea has K-pop, Korea has animation music, animation is they play a game. They had a government program to support their artists. They said, we are going to create a program where we export our artistic expressions to

the rest of it. As a part of the trial, 2,000 artists will be to the rest of the trial. 2,000 artists will be randomly selected from all the app. Shouldn't be randomly. Why? Best one. Best one. Get the best artist. You know the difference.

But how do you qualify yourself as an artist? Let's see the definition. I draw my off-time, I'm an artist. Visual Arts, the theater, literature, music, dance, opera, film, circus, and architecture. Now, this isn't that surprising, come from Ireland, right? They do the thing.

Now, if Russia did this, that'd be cool. If North Korea did this, that would be cool. Like Russia art not up in here. This is Iceland, right? This is Ireland. Oh, it's Ireland. Oh, that's right. Ireland's super-art, see?

Ireland's cool. There's like, is the fucking whole tradition of that. That's amazing. That's really cool. Wow. I like it. what it's like. I don't know. Ireland's super artsy. Ireland's cool. I don't know what it's like. It's a fucking whole tradition of that. That's amazing. That's really cool. Wow. I like it. I like the idea.

Hey, could they pick a less looking Irish guy for the cover? I know. Go ahead. It's good. It's like a good art or something. But would you look at him go, oh yeah, he's Irish. No. Black Irish.

Let's go to. I like his art. I like it. I saw this from Sam Tripoli. Tripoli posted something about Brittany Griner. You know what she's still stuck in Russia. Do you know the details on this? Was it CBD or was it an actual year in Chan?

That's why I asked you because I know you didn't because I want to explain it. So here's the thing. Brittany Griner, who that is. She's a star in the WNBA. She's a giant, right? She's a good player, a really good player. The WNBA makes no money here.

The basic open micers on them beacin. The W and Bay makes no money. Just a market value, what can you do? So, a lot of these female pro basketball players make tons of money playing in Russia over season. That's where they make them. So they're playing year-round. They play W and Bay, then they go over Russia

and they pay millions of dollars. The issue with that is a lot of the oligarchs own a lot of those teams. So you have a free pass in Russia. She's not going through, you know, most of shit, most US citizens have to go through. She has a special privilege. But the thing is, is when the war started, she thought, oh, the oligarchs can help me. Well, the thing is these oligarchs can take you out left and right, they're on yachts and fucking Dubai,

where they're trying to get out of Russia, because they've done a lot of bad shit. They wanna get out of there. So she goes, she's stopping the airport. She has a pen, but it's not CBD. CBD's a little dicey of Russia. It had weed in it, it was a weed pit. And in Russia, they don't fuck with that.

Now usually, if they weren't at war, you call that oligarch. He's like, yeah, who is it? Gary, Gary, what's up at TSA or whoever? Letter through. Prime is, is that oligarch is on a yacht evading authority and we can't contact them. So we're gonna shut you down.

So then they took her as a prisoner now and she's been in there for months, horrible. So now Russia's like, yeah, give us this war criminal. We'll give you this WMA basketball player. And this shows you how much Americans value WMA basketball players. They went, let's think on it. Now if that was Steph Curry, we would have traded fucking Osama bin Laden in 30 minutes for him. That's because we care about Steph Curry. This just shows you America doesn't give a shit and we're leaving her in there. It's so offensive.

It's very funny. They're funny. She's a tall woman. Very tall. Oh, it did. She dunked her ass all right in your nose, dude. Yeah, she can dunk. Yeah. She can dunk. Brittany Griner, she dunked the asshole right in your nose, dude. Yeah, she can dunk. Yeah, she can dunk

Britney Griner. She's got a girlfriend or a six nine. I didn't know she was that tall That's eight. Is that real shine? Yeah, I mean, that's real dude. She's a super ball. What the hell six nine? Yeah, dude And cannus Parker six four. She's gorgeous. Yeah You're just playing a bailer. She's a beast dude Yeah, but played a Baylor shoes a beast dude Yeah, but she is a shoe size 17 17 women's is what men's was that like a 14 or 17 women's Wait, what is Yeah, it's a large shoe

Wait, let me see the other which one now the other what men's size is 17 women's there you go She wears a 15 and a half it's a large girl Which one? Now the other one. What men's size is 17 wins, there you go. She wears a 15 and a half. It's a large girl. Well, she's got it. She's long nipples. I don't want to talk about that. What? I'm saying that.

You know, you have guys that big feet, big dicks. No. We have long nipples. With big feet? Nope, don't. Hey, I just threw her. She embossed a hook. Got her a rack out, panning hook line and sinker.

I'm not getting fast fast right now. Hook now. Yeah, chin bonnet. Yeah, just I was hoping so would pick up on it. Okay, we'll just do this one since we don't have that much time Yeah, please all right. This is just a joy's joy store smashing Oh, I love this and there are they Korean chin? I'm Asian Asian. Yeah, cuz I saw it on the news this morning Then one dude gets such a good shot and he gets in in the head with a hammer But beats the shit out of it. I love it. But check this out. So yeah, it's in LA. Of course don't fight. It's Korean. No fuck with it I don't know if they're Asian, but let me check another Asian chin. Okay, let's see. I don't know if all of Mark's family owned though. All right Look at these guys just scrolling in dude. First of all nobody stops them on the streets. I Don't mask her. Look at this is just like, she's so calm.

She's watching around. She's the guy at top, look at the guy. Look at that. Boom, boom. See you take it with the hammer, still throwing. Yep. He's agent. And then girls kicking.

That girl's a kicking. Look at him punch, nice punch. Look at that. Boom, we're there. Chair. And she, see, kick their fucking ass, kick their ass. What balls he has employees, yeah. We've got a kid. You gotta watch, he's He's Asian should you gotta watch him at the top look

He's the computer look watch him. He's a superhero. I love him. Watch it. You never know dude look at him Look, he comes sprinting. Look at this. Oh hell no boom nice. Oh, I hit with a hammer not like not today He's not today. Hey makers look at her kicking the shit out of me. They're kicking a head. Boom! He kind of misses. That's fine. Boom, she's still fighting, dude. Dude, who is she? I know. She's a badass. I mean, they're all fucking badass. They just go behind the... No, he was on KTLA. The swan talking about it. He was Asian. I don't know what kind of Asian I would say.

I would say Korean. Yeah. Tough. You know, no. Tough. But that's cool. You know, you know, no. Tough, either way. But that's cool. You know, you always say like, they always say like, don't do stuff like this, but if people keep doing stuff like this, there's gonna be less attacks. And there's a problem. Here's the problem.

If those robbers had a gun, I know, but I did read in, I think it was in Sino, this guy broke into this family's house, and the husband went, excuse me, cough! Shot and killed him. Good. You know how big that guy? And nothing, he went to lunch.

That's right. You have this way, say, go ahead and go. No, no. Report, you're coming to lunch. You're coming to lunch. You get shot in the fucking head, dummy. Fuck you. That's how we roll, bro.

That's how we roll, bro. I'm working out of 3.30, I don't give a shit, everybody. I don't give a shit, and I work out yesterday, too. I don't take time off. Don't give nothing, some kool-aid, dude. I won't. I know you're gonna, look, I'm gonna give a shit everybody. I'll give a shit and I'll work out yesterday too. I don't take time off. Dunkin' nuts and some Kool-Aid dude. I won't. I know you're gonna, look, I'll do it right now. I'm gonna dunk my nuts on Portland,

because I'm in Portland. You wanna Portland? June 9th through the 11th. All right. June 9th and the 11th. I'm off before that. I've since ran out there. Okay.

Yeah, come on daddy. Stop, don't stop, I'm like a shark. Yeah, you know, some guys, they like to stop moving, don't stop. I'm like a shark. Yeah. You know, some guys, they like to stop moving. I stop moving. Your boy dies here. This is why I take so many fucking uppers. Anyways.

LAs Wednesday night, that thing sold out, Jeff Dye, Kristalia, Trevor Wallace, Craig, the monsters. But then Portland, Oregon, Portland, let's do it. Bebe. June 9th through 11th. You and I have had some good times there. Yes, we have. June 9th, Michigan. June 9th through 11th, you and I've had some good times there. Yes we have. June I miss you, man. June 9th through 11th is Portland, Helium,

then San Francisco, Cubs is two shows Friday, two shows Saturday at the Cubs comedy place in San Francisco. Comic club. Yep, and then San Diego, California, that's at the new Lafac in San Diego, the heart of San Diego. And what's fun about this is your boys going East Coast. We just added two new East Coast dates to it.

Our boy Alistair's gonna be with us, Chen, my video out for you. We're in Baltimore, right? I'm at Baltimore, I think Macgubbies. Okay. Baltimore Macgubbies, August 4th through the 6th, just got added, Houston just got added, September 15th and September 17th.

And then my favorite, I passed on Wilbur. Wilbur, you know I love you, but I love Boston. I want the rest. You doing La Boston? That's a great club. Yeah, I've always wanted to do it. Great fun. And they always tell me to Wilbur,

I want to spend time in Boston. You're gonna love it. Wilbur, I still love you, but I'm at La Boston. Yes. September, 29th, October, 1st, Thursday through Saturday. I'm gonna shave my head like whitey bulger. There you go. And we're blue eye contacts.

West Palm Beach, Florida, Europe, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, within one of my favorite places to perform, period. You're missing the Millie dinner. Hope it's worth it. It's gonna be good. We keep missing stuff for each other. I got the funny bone the next weekend.

Didn't realize having him bought my tickets. You had June 3rd and we were about to Friday Saturday. Hey daddy, take it right now. Huh? Take it right now, inflation. Oh, tough, little tough. Oh my Nebraska, funny bone, June 10 and 11. I'm excited about that. And then I got Ontario. I didn't take the summer off. Ontario improv. Not a fuck around, dude.

I don't fuck around. There you go. There it is. You're all over, dude. There it is. New thick boy merch is dropping. You see me with the long teas in white black with thick boy logo and the yellow hoodie that you see me rocking. You see the yellow hoodie on the flashback fight night this week with Eric Griffin. We watch my losses. It goes awful and I get really sad. So that's cool. But that merch drops Thursday at 9am on thickboy.com.

You see me rocking on King's Thing and you see me on social media rocking it. So my favorite merch. So that's it. If you want whiskey, thickboy.com, you'll see the Tiger Thick Whiskey on there. We got Distribute Your Baby online. We worldwide nationwide. Our Distribute is out of freaking DC, daddy.

All right, go to thickboy.com for everything, tour dates, everything. The new summer tour dates are up right now. thickboy.com, Portland, you're up. All right, dude, another great one. Another great one, my friend. Let's go dip your nuts some coolate. It's just called the old school fighter and a kid.

If everybody's afraid of that, and how about Mark Hurley as a great audition? Smart kid, chin doing the goddamn thing. This is the final kid. We're out.