The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 801: Jeff Dye

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

Jeff Dye reveals he started his own Fight Club with his roommates and some firefighters, and the guys talk good looks in comedy, football, The Staircase, Jeff Filming in Detroit and seeing multiple fight altercations in Hawaii, Bryan's black funeral stories, Jeff's tricked out jeeps, Vin Diesel being Vin Diesel again and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the fighter and the kid Hide the run it back Cause we back at it again Yeah, we gon' keep it moving like it's never gonna end When it was brining, when it was bright And when it was just talkin' to friends We got the kid gallin' on the left With the fighter on the right

Hey, how'd they do it right? Cause we comin' at your life Back with the team I'd be keepin' OG My CTV I'm outta do it Yes we did Cause we back at it again

It's the fighter and the kid It's the did, cause we back at it again. It's the fight on the kids. It's the fight on the kids. Back at it again. It's the fight on the kids. The fight on the kids. Back at it again. It's the fight on the kids. The fight on the kids.

It's the fight on the kids. This is really the fight in the kid we're out Rinnen I live hard because I am hard dude. I'm afraid we're gonna get hard so I'm gonna be tan We headed this week dude. I'm glad. I'm glad. Yeah, it's because one of the things about Florida and the air is keeps my bones Sticky it's good for older people. That's why older people go down That's why I'm going to West Palm Beach in pro Friday Saturday and do it a show Sunday Dude, not good let the fan base know why there's no show Monday Well, that's because of daddy here. I'll be traveling and then we do a show on Tuesday

And then I go to Richmond, Virginia the funny bone Friday Saturday June 3rd fourth Then I got Omaha, Nebraska funny bone June 10 and 11 can't stop won't stop there nor should you do I'm not gonna stop either because the summer is a Coming and there's nothing better. I like than touring during the summer. Baby. I'm in Portland June 9 through the 11th San Francisco June 17 through the 18th at the Cubs San Diego Lafactory downtown San Diego July 21st through the 23rd Yep, then I get some East Coast dates for your ass August 4th through the 6th is Baltimore, Boston, September 29th through October 1st.

Get your tickets at thickboy.com or FATKZ.com. New thick boy merch drops tomorrow at 9am on thickboy.com. This shirt in black, white, and then also the yellow summer hoodie. Get your sum. I'll tell you what you need to get though, B. What, buddy? I need some supplements, dad. I need my you what you need to get though, B. What buddy? I need to get some supplements. I need to optimize when I am on stage.

You know what I'm gonna do? And for years, we've been right or died with on it. We're gonna get good critter. Dude, I keep telling you. I need good creatine, good critter. I can get your creatine, krilloil, I'm your guy. I'm your bill man. I need something for gut health.

Dude, and I get the best on the market. I'm talking about onit.com slash fighter. Tempersonoff, everything that we're gonna tell you about right now. Onit.com slash fighter, 10% off. We got Creole Oil, joint oil, protein powders, protein bars, warrior bars. Workout. Stuff your brain.

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I got a little laugh. I got, I got, I got some. One more month in Visaline. One more month in Visaline. By one more month it means another year. We've got the best, maybe the best on the guy in comedy. The most handsome guy in comedy. The most handsome looking podcast right here. This is a good looking program. I mean, I, I mean, I mean,

hey, I hate to say, I'm having a younger guy. Here's the thing, here's the, like if a group of girls saw us. Yeah. Who do you think they're gonna be like, all right, who's jumping on that old gridhead? You know what I'm saying?

Like, there are always, they go, hey, Dana, do you mind jumping on the old grenade? No, no, no, here's what happens. That old... That lady goes out, dude. Yeah, just the... Yeah, the big girl goes... Again? No, no, no, no. You go for that fun, all this.

No, fuck, fuck you guys for a second. You're right. But I'm gonna tell you this, we're on a young grenade, right? We're on a yacht, we're on a yacht. Any situation, yacht, bar. I promise you, there's always that one girl who has daddy issues. That's right, that just likes all the way. She likes all the way.

We know it's gonna fuck it over. You're in Vizelin. I was kind of into him, but he's wearing braces. Bitting a lot, Nick. I've never seen him. He was so shiny and sick. One more month. They don't even know about him.

Is it a line they just think it's weird to you? Did you have braces? Yeah, when I was a kid. You just kept them straight like that, huh? Yeah, it was easy. Congrats brother. Thanks, boy. Yeah, if you don't know, it looks like you're wearing like

one of those co-edged face shields over your teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't always teach to get co-edged. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to see, I can't see. I don't want that new variant in my teeth. I can't fucking wait to get these off. I can't wait.

Yeah, but you have a couple of things working at you with the grenade jumper. She's like, he wears braces and then he also wears sandals and jeans. Yeah, but we're not really. But also in comedy, you're in the top like 1%. That good look. I see gross guys get hooking up all the time. Well, let me tell you about the funny.

Yeah, admit that when I was younger in my 30s and 40s, I was a little bit of a kid. Yeah, kiddie. Those days are done. Well, the gray comes in. Yeah. Things you get all over. You're the cabana boy.

Come on. Yeah, yeah. I heard a guy, I think was Jordan Peterson said, if you're a good looking now and you're strong and you like yourself, that's cool. Just please understand that there's gonna come a point that no matter what you do, you get uglier and weaker with every year.

No matter what you do. There's the exception, there's some time. You need some. I don't know, dude. Yeah, I. There's some time. I don't know. Oh, dude. Yeah. You guys are getting larger with age. I don't know.

Yeah, it's just weird to happen to naturally. Yeah, it's all natural. That's really weird. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know yet. But to be handsome in comedy, that was like in fighting like, he said, when he's smart for a fighter, it's like, I don't know. I don't think any of us are winning a spelling beat.

No, you're a good looking guy. For a comic? No, no, no. There's always that. Women have always liked you. They have probably hungry eyes. Come on. There's always that, like, you know, for a comic,

for a fight or a thing that's true. I think the two of you guys clean up. You also need us. You also can ask it, man. It's very nice. I lose girls with my silliness. That's the problem. I just do silly all need us. You need us. You need us. You need us.

You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us.

You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us.

You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. You need us. and they're like, this carny ass, why I got used to stupid, right? That just, I just know attention from them. But there was this one chick at the bar who thought I was,

one black girl. No, white girl. She comes over and she's like, she's no one. She goes, are you Jeff Dei? And I was like, yeah, but I'm also like drinking a bunch and having fun with all the people. And this guy named Luke Noel from SNL, who was in the movie,

and we were just being giggly the whole night and doing stuff. He spit whiskey into my mouth, like a baby bird. He was like the mama bird, not the big bird. Yeah, whiskey. And we thought it was so funny that I like, I showed her the video, I was like, hey, did I show you this?

She goes, yeah, you show me that like three times. And I was like, oh, and then I go, that's gonna be you later. And she goes, what? And I go, yeah, with liquids and solids. She goes, what? I go, yeah, lickies are solid. That's a salt brother.

And she goes, that's so sweet. Lickies are solid. So, can I just watched her walk away and talked to all of her friends about how much I'll lose her. The Likis are sully. The one like the one she and nobody. You scared off the one snow buddy in the world. Yeah, when you're talking about pooing in someone's mouth,

that's kind of disliquiser. Likis and sully. Well, it's like this guy's into some weird shit. Yeah, he's that a so funny and then he goes, Likis are sully. Did you remember that there was a Woody Allen movie, this long time ago where his sister, he's like, what's that was so funny and he goes, lick his ass always. Did you remember that there was a Woody Allen movie, this long time ago where his sister, he's like, what's wrong?

She goes, I have one on a date, I can't. And he goes, well, what happened? She goes, I've been so lonely and he was so nice. And we were dancing and then, yeah, let him time you into the bed. Oh no. Did my god, you could have been killed. She goes, I know, I can't say it.

I can't think, what happened? Not a bad thing could it be? I can't. She goes, he goes, because what are you doing? He's got over me and He went to the bathroom Oh I mean that's too much people are into some weird shit

I think she thought of some weird freak. That's what she thought you wanted to do But I was just being silly and thought I was like hilarious to be absurd Well, you'll find someone who likes that You'll find something like that, but also if you oh Anybody who's into having I'm trying to be positive. Yeah, it's never really into that I didn't really want to do that. You should be silly. She think it was funny Yeah, she did it said that my friend goes he sticks you know I he goes you don't stick your finger your tongue in a girl's ass and I go not and not in the into the yeah And he goes out you get shit on your dick of a tongue so what you pussy and I was like

Well, I I'm just not we hang out joey Diaz your friends are free. I know Dirty I know I'm like all right. Let's not get carried away. The thing about being Detroit though If there's a black girl who likes white guys there is I'm in I'm the guy. Yeah, you're the guy. They're not into it. No Maybe just the bars your head. I think I'll just end down time to Troy the whole time. Did you run into Barry Sanders? No, I've had a great time. Does he live there?

Or does he hate Detroit? I forget. I was in a limo as Barry Sanders. And I was young. Yeah, at a super bowl party. And I just kept asking questions. And then finally, he just, I just shared him, like, he must have had a sign to the driver. It just pulls on the side of the road. Can you guys get out?

Is that yeah, not to get a taxi? No, yeah, he's like, yeah, no doubt. There's a lot of lions question. He's like, can you just get a, he's like to me lying questions? Can you get out? Yeah, we got out on the side of the highway. Wow. So I'll see you later nerd. I kind of get it though. Oh, you're mad. I was like, oh, God. That's one thing I've learned about pro athletes. They don't want me to come up with all, you know, I was at Vandy when you threw the , they don't, they just want, they're gonna come back when you're a chick. I thought I'd get tons of chicks.

Yeah, do you know chicks? Or do you have a private jet? No? Yeah, like, I can't use you, dude. They clip you sent me about Mugsie Bugs. Like Mugsie Bugs thought, I'm in the NBA. I'm gonna get so many girls. No, they get guys like us coming up to Hong Kong.

Oh, you were the best, dude. You should have been the best. Yeah, that's right. so many girls. No, they get guys that guys coming up to home gone, oh, you were the best dude, you should have been the best. That's it. Yeah, that's it. That's right, that's exactly right. You get pro man's. Oh, he's in Wichita, Kansas? So it says, oh wow.

He just walked away at the height of his career. What was that, you think, was he getting CTE, did he feel? The lines were absolutely terrible, like the man's written still is, like the worst managed team of all time. I heard a great story about it, but I don't think it's true. Like Calvin Johnson also retired. I had to, you know, the best receiver,

one of the best receivers ever. He just went, we're just never, I was sick of losing. They went trade me, I was like, I'm out. And he made a lot of money. He was like, and I saw a lot of money. He made a lot of money. He was like, I just sick of losing. We're not going anywhere.

He's like, I'm out. I heard a story, but I'm not sure it's true, that Barry Sanders called to say, I'm thinking about retiring, and the cell phone service was bad, so the guy was just like, oh, he said he's gonna retire. And so Barry Sanders just went with it. That's what I heard.

I don't know if that's true or not. No. That's a bad look for Verizon. That's what I believe. That's the Verizon's the reason Barry Sanders would die. Yeah, he started the conversation with like, I just got this new car phone. Yeah, these are pretty cool. Yeah I started to deal with cricket wireless

He was calling from Vonage I'm not a flip phone. I don't know if it's true or not, but it's a Who could validate it might be true probably him It's I just read it on a one of these dumb sports things. Yeah, it's like that young kid. I'm granted he's from that area. He played at Michigan, his dad played at Michigan. He's the number one pick in the draft this year. He had drafted by Detroit. And so is Detroit and Jacksonville. It's like, when you go, it's like, yeah, you're in the NFL, you're making money, but you're literally. He's having a worse team of all time. You guys are never going to end Dominic

So was on that on that team for a while So strong and still on there he got Super ball for the rant Yeah, 10 Bay one super But the so that guy that just got drafted the Lions in ha ha Davis is this very funny talented comedian out of Detroit and He was DMing with them the same night he got Drafted by Detroit dude super happy to be here. I was like he's excited He goes yeah, dude. He's like one of the home hometown boy. Yeah, why don't he's from there

But I know he's like a real he's a hometown But his dad played at Michigan played in the NFL. So maybe they bounce around, but yeah, he, I'm pretty much the second one. There was like one guy that's from there, right? The white boy playing the DN. That's why I'm thinking. That's why I'm thinking. That's why I'm talking.

The one I'm talking about that was DM Me and Haadabus is like a very like hood guy. Oh, God. He's like so excited to come to Detroit. And Haadabus, I think he got a lovey here. He got a cornerback somewhere. Yeah, it's like a skinny fast guy. Yeah, yeah.

Skinny fast guy. He's skinny fast guy. Yeah, that'd be such a, I Yeah, it's like a skinny fast guy. Yeah, yeah. Skinny fast guy. Skinny fast guy. Yeah, that'd be such a, I mean, it's tough, right? Like, you'd draft by viewer steam. I wouldn't want to be good. And you're like, all right, I'm gonna pay, get the hat off. So let me ask you this, when you get drafted in the third round, fourth round.

That doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna be on the third. Third fourth round, it does. If you're drafted, the sixth round gets the right. How many rounds are there? Six. So, third round, you're gonna be on this. Third, fourth round, it does. If you're drafted, six round. Okay, it's the only way. How many rounds are there? Six. So, six rounds. Third round, you're putting some money. Yeah, I mean, you gotta earn your spot.

But you have to play for the worst team. That's always the worst part. Yeah, you don't wanna be the best guy in the draft. You wanna be like the 10th or 11th, and then you're gonna be like, you know, a pretty solid team. Yeah, never mind. Because Steelers. You wanna be number one, I can read the comments already.

Brad, of course you want to be the number one. Of course you want to be the number one drive, Will. Yeah, I know. It's best to be number one, but you're right. Because now I got to go to the Cavaliers and just get dunked on by all the good teams or I have to go to the Seattle Mariners. Yeah, you're trying to figure out by yourself.

I'd rather go to a loaded team. Yeah, also on a cool town. Like a third round, all of a sudden playing with Tom Brady. It was a catching passes from the greatest of all time that be way better. That's your like your around that. Yeah. Detroit like everybody's a loser.

Everybody. Unfortunately that's just true. Yeah. What, didn't they lose every game one year? Yeah. Well that's the owner. So apparently the owners are terrible. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,, apparently the owners are terrible. The bottle out people say the way they're managed

and the owners are just... Oh, it starts, yeah, from the top down. That's what the owners are just the worst. And then they're really bad at drafting. And it's like, it's just not good. I wonder if they're gonna be that bad. That's what the owner's dying for ever. But I'm pretty sure the owners come for it.

Who are the owners, the lines? Pretty sure. Some European guys I thought they had something to do with the Ford family Oh, he's like slick looking guy cuz I just looked this up. Why doesn't Dan Gilbert own the lions? Yeah, there's for see Ford See descendant of board and firestone the Piston bomb guy that owns that I was looking up or are you thinking of jack

I like that guy I He's cool. Yeah, I like that guy. No, but I was looking up why doesn't Dan Gilbert own the pistons instead of the calves because he's like this big Detroit guy Hmm, I looked it up on some slick guy this she's a lady owns it, huh? Yeah, does she get any shit for being so bad She must get so much hate. Oh she's non-social media You know you're Shit for being so bad, she must get so much hate. Oh, she's not in social media. You know, like when you're a bit, dude, if you're a billionaire, would you eat, like if I'm Elon Musk,

granted he's like the most famous guy, but dude, if I'm Elon Musk, this would be one insurant picture of me this. Oh, just know it'd be a picture of my dick. That's it. Just every Monday, you should get a big pick of my dick and I get banned and I come back and I'm banning it. Another pick of my dick.

Because I have a billion dollars and I don't care. That's right. I'll tell, I come back, once I'm on band, another pick of my dick, except a billion dollars, and I don't care. That's right. I'll tell him Jay, when I was in the thick of, you know, all my hate with all that shit, I go, how do guys like, that people, like genuinely hate like, like Ted Cruz, or like Tucker Carlson, who gets all the hate. Jay's like, have you seen Tucker Carlson's last post?

I'm like, no, it's some book they wrote on him, but just, it's literally a novel of just spewing the worst thing he's done. He took a picture with his like number one best seller. Like he just, he's all the way in because he has his fan base who rides or dies. Well, it's very, there's no middle ground Tucker. But Jay's like, in general, a fact, Tiam, my brother goes, read, uh, he goes, go to any Ted Cruz, uh, tweet. Oh my god. He was really calm. Yeah, especially now. I go especially now. How does he deal with the congressman? It was like fuck you Ted

Yeah, like you're a congressman. I told you I go how they deal with he is they just don't they don't give a fuck They don't pay any attention. I guess it's part of the game. Yeah, I've never seen a congressman tweet fuck you Ted Cruz You're useless and it's like Jesus Christ You guys try to politicize this thing and the guy goes, hey, fuck you man, but you kids are a tool. Yeah, I got to get argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've just shut the fuck up or have parted to bait that one.

Fuck you. Fuck you. And he'd fuck you again or something. There's like a double. He doubled it down a lot. Was the rest of like the Congress like, hey, man, not safe. No, bring up the tweets. It was this fucking cover had to do with the school shooting Yeah, and tech risk of like the long thing. We shouldn't be politicizing

Tragedy, you know to make gun control Boba Boba Boba and then this you know It would there's a whatever the argument is it is is, but there might be a timing issue here, and the guy goes, I mean, so Ted Cruz tweeted about it or responded to a tweet. No, I mean, he tweeted at him, the congressman tweeted hit him. Oh, there it is, Ruben Gallagher, Rural's expletives at Ted Cruz after he passed the guy. That's the guy. Go to that, it's hilarious, he goes. That guy. Yeah, he goes, oh yeah, fuck you pass the guy. That's the guy. That's the guy. Go to that and hilarious, he goes.

That guy. Yeah, you guys, oh yeah, fuck you, Ted Cruz. Just be clear. You can't repeat it, but you will let our children be slaughtered. Just get your ass to can't go in your useless. Then he goes, just to be clear, fuck you, Ted Cruz, you fucking baby killer.

Gavers. That's a pretty crazy comeback. Yeah. I feel like I'd probably be in that guy. I'm in the guy, baby killer. Oh, that least restrict them, you back. Yeah. I feel like I'd probably be in that guy. I'm in the wrong man. I'm in the wrong man. Oh, that least restrict them, you know? Yeah.

I don't know. Shadow, animal week. Yeah. I think that's fair. Emotions are running high, man. The highest, yeah. And then it's, I get it. Yeah, I mean, you're in my fucking, yeah.

Yeah. Anyone. Yeah, I don't want to get into it. It is. I've been depressed about all this. I dropped my son off at school, they walked the pram, and I got to... I got to 10 years.

And then talked to security guards. I got a fourth grader. So they increased security today. Anyway, my thing is, my thing is, anytime the podcast is recess, speaking of which, those fucking chuck tailors are, wait, hold on, they're lit. Oh, thanks buddy. Dude, those are off the chains.

Thanks pal. Is that cool to say? Yeah, I've lit. Oh, thanks buddy. Dude, those are off the chains. Thanks pal. Is that cool to say? Yeah, I've had them for quite some time. Some off white chuck tailers. There you go. This must be the cheapest shoe that China makes. Might cost them three cents? Yeah.

I mean, there's not, this is like a t-shirt. You're gonna pay some money for that. You're gonna pay some money for that, right? Not those, Chuck. Yeah, they'll pay some money for these. Chuck, you got her expensive. Yeah, these are expensive. You found a way to get a cheap shoe expensive.. People eat, yeah, a piece of my face. I'm sure you got her expensive. Yeah, these are expensive. You found a way to get a cheap shoe expensive.

Well, yeah, it shows you how stupid I am. Jeff, you into, you into shoes? No, I tried it for a second, I'm out. You into, you into a car. He's a car's teeth in here. I like a, a jeeps and stuff. Yeah, you know the two are drugs. Whoa, his car should be the mascot for the January 6th capital right. If there's a logo, it should be his car should be the mascot for the January 6th capital right if there's a logo it should be his car

He parked out the impoverly rather than I was all Just like the monster truck. Oh, it is outside. Yeah, it's if they told Donald Trump. Hey, create a Jeep It'd be this well for sure. It's Republican Spots and the horn is hiding This lives matter-protect dude. There's a horn on it. It screams red neck. The horn is so intense. It's good to Jeffy's jeeps.

You can find it. Oh, it has its own profile. It's on Instagram. Jeffy's jeeps. Jeffy's. Yeah, Jeffy's. Jeffy's jeeps. Why?

Jeffy's jeeps. There it is. Oh my god, Jeff. Dice jeeps. Yeah, it's pretty good. I got that green Cherokee and then that big red. See the red, the big red. Well, you know what?

You just gotta be ready to off-road in case you find yourself having an off-road. It's like wearing cleats all day. It's, everyone just leaves me to go, why? I don't know, it's cool, right? Yeah, the thing. You wear Jordan's, you don't go around playing basketball all day.

So you're on the highway with no, you don't have any air conditioning. You're just, oh, you just dizzy, taking it all of those fumes all day. Who needs air conditioning? You don't even have a fucking door? You don't have a door on? No, I got doors for it, but that's not convenient, huh? Look at the booze, man.

Yeah, there's cables. Yes, Gator. No, that's ostrich. That's ostrich, that's ostrich. That's what I'm talking about. That shit is so America. That picture, I love my country. That thing I'll go over anything, huh?

Yeah, I did. it's the best and Yeah with the doors and top and on it. What is that you live in northern Hollywood though? But he got it got to go hard. Yeah, you ever use that winch in the front you ever use that once never once Because I got four-wheel lockers and I got all this stuff like I don't really need it Do the horn on it the one fucking horn one time I tried to use it those are the bumpers I talking horn. The one time I tried to use it, those are all the bumpers I've ever had. The one time I tried to use the wanch, it didn't work.

That's a good dammit. This is embarrassing. Yeah, I just pulled me out with like one of those little, I don't even know what those things are called. When you, I was like a caterpillar, no, a gator, you know those gators. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, he pulled me out of that.

I was like, this is humiliating. My buddy, my buddy, it's exciting. It's a golf cart on steroids. Yeah, and she's like, and he pulled me out. My buddy does, he pulled me on that. I was like, this is humiliating. My buddy, my buddy, it's a golf court. Unsteruid, yeah, and she's like, and he pulled me out. My buddy does, he's a diver and he would treat his bodies. So like, if there's a body, they said, in fact, he was an Fort Mead going to get

a good finalist body. Yeah, crazy shit, right? Like, he's diving and he's terrible with me. Oh, terrible, they found a, they found a, they found a brand new Tacoma in the water, like brand new, right? In like meat. And what you look for then is a dead body.

Sure. But it was actually stolen insurance. Oh, that's right. You get all that stuff. He would rather have that job or do one day through Sunday at the laugh factory in Las Vegas. Oh, oh, definitely. I can find a Tacoma with some dead bodies in it.

But he said, he said basically, he said they call him gear queers. You'll get a guy who's not experiencing and diving, but they've got all the gear. They got a shitload and they do these deaths. They go like this and they'll be like, he's dried around. I think this is going to have something to happen. And inevitably, the guys with all the gear just end up fucking fucking up down there and you gotta save their life.

And they, you know, you know that when, if you inhale, so he had to go, one of the guys, every time down, and then you can, it's like the guys with all the gear, it's like this guy's not experienced. He's got way too much shit on, something's gonna go wrong, boom. And you know, you're the guy.

But here's what's really interesting about that. When you inhale, it's tough to see all the water. that. When you inhale water, when you inhale salt water, well I was going to tell you, when you inhale salt water, you got to go to the doctor right away, right, you have to go to the hospital immediately. So if you have if you have almost a drowning, right, you got to go to the doctor's hospital immediately because you will you will dry drown and it's because the saltwater mixes with like the the membrane in your lungs and you foam will come out of all your orifices and you just fucking die right and sent to the right guy comes on guy comes on he's got all the skewer yep all the skewer and he had a knife

he had like you know he's got a knife here he's got all the shit and all the guys who were like these are the guys who retrieve bodies. They've got just their, you know, you get whatever they're gonna do. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, you got a lot of experience? You go, yeah, yeah, a lot of experience, but I was gonna be a seal, but I decided, you know, do something.

Oh yeah, and the seal drop out to go to that for Suo's dreams. We have to keep an eye on that guy. And literally the first time they're trying to find a body. Um, yeah, brought him up. She's straight. And he literally almost died. He just, just, I wish you would have said he died for the story. I wish he was paying off on that story.

You pull up a screwdriver. You let it still go in the carpool lane with that. Like if you're just driving around. Fuck yeah. What are those rules? Fuck yeah. I don't know. Fuck yeah.

I couldn't help but notice your only person in here. You go, I'm gonna check the bag. You wanna check the trunk? Yeah, that toy had to come, I don't know. Popped like, yeah, I couldn't help but notice you're the only person in here. You go, wanna check the bag? You wanna check the trunk? Well, before you make judgment. Find a little foamy face guy if you wanna see him. You'll find old SpongeBob in the bag. Oh, SpongeBob. That should count, that too.

You'll see Patrick and the trunk over there. You guys know that movie Total Recall? That happened to me once. I don't know, Jack. Yeah, the whole thing. Really, Jack. All right, oh, you know the whole thing. Really Jeff? All right. Oh, you know what I got into last night?

Is that series, it's from the documentary, The Sterecase? Yeah. You remember that, that guy, something Peter said, outlose a lawyer. Well, that's one of the theories. I'm gonna see what you thought about that. Maybe you were right, so you know, so what happened? She fell down the stairs, he said she fell down the stairs.

So the cops come there and on the phone call, he's frantic, right? So the cops come there. They look at, there's blood everywhere. All over the staircase, they're like, the fact there's no head contusions that would equal rolling down the stairs. And they look into it and she had like 64 like hit wounds.

It looks like someone hit her on the head off like all of her body. Well, so you know, she just fell and hit all the stairs. That's what he said, he goes, no, she was drinking, she took volume and hit all the stuff. That's what he said. He goes, no, she was drinking, she took volume, and then fell down the stairs. They look more into it. He was married with, they had like six kids, because she had kids outside the marriage

here, you know, from previous marriage. So they come together, they have six kids told her, right? So the kids are a little older, but then this is what they think happened. So he was having gay sex with somebody outside. And then he had a bunch of like emails and with a male prostitute and all the stuff. And she found this out and they got in a fight. He beat her to death. He gets charged and convicted of murder.

Yes, sure. Then gets out because the evidence they found with the blood that they messed with the evidence that only showed that he was responsible for it. They didn't look out because the evidence they found with the blood that they messed with the evidence that only showed that he was responsible for it. They didn't look at all the evidence. So he gets, he posts bail. He goes, then he has to go back to prison, but they retry it back. So he's broke at this point.

Right. Like the first case, the first case took like 600 grand. No, he's not stupid rich. Well, he was trying to figure, he was at the beginning, but then he was like, the lawyers took all, the lawyers took all his money. He was a writer, right? He was a writer and sold a big script of Hollywood for 500 grand front, but you know, you're not like Scrooge McDoug. So then he actually, he actually had three tests. But he actually pleaded guilty to murder for beating his wife to death,

but he did it the way, yeah, he eventually did, but he was set free because if you say this, I feel like what type of murder guilty charge it is, but you agree that you committed to get out. But you plead bargain. You plead bargain, but you also acknowledge that the evidence shows that you're responsible for it. But you don't admit to that evidence.

It's a weird plea bargain. That sucks, you go, I'll admit that I didn't, but you have to let me out for my honesty. Yeah, basically, it's like this weird plea bargain deal. I won't do it again, but here's where it gets diced. I kind of lied. So I was watching, so on the series I'm watching. So I remember the old the actual document documentary

I look more into it this work gets dicey either he's the most unlucky person on the face of the earth I know you're gonna bring out his murdering people. I know we're gonna bring out because in Germany he had a friend He had a really good friend who also died the exact same way then he took the two kids That was ten years prior so that lady who died in Germany once she saw that his wife died the exact same way, she called the detective like, yo man, this is too much of convenience. Because my sister died the exact same way. Look into it. So they look into her death exact same thing. No, she didn't die by accident, fallen that she was also beaten to death.

So again, he's either the most unlucky person on the face of the earth or he did this. He married when that doctor, when that doctor, when she was like, everyone was talking about him, but maybe a bird killed her. Well, it was himself a bird. So the biggest theory is the owl theory.

So dumb. So they're saying why, because she was frolking the attic for some reason it where they live in North Carolina and Durham North Carolina There are the certain type of owl spotter great horned out. That's kind of aggressive Yeah, and they're saying that the the marks on her skull and all the stuff would appear to be and like on her arms and the scrapes would appear to be from an owl also in her hand they found al feathers and in her hand, they found alphethers, and in the other hand, they found like pine needles from a tree.

Jesus. So, but his prosecution said, or his defense said, that theory's so extreme, it's very well that could happen before we bring that up, it's so extreme, it's he's gonna look even more guilty. It's so extreme. It's okay, but I remember with that documentary, they showed the first girl that fell down the stairs,

his roommate. And then they talk about the second girl there. And I go, listen, if that's a coincidence, I don't believe in a god that would let that happen to a man twice. Why is that? I'm saying like, my my judge, I go, all right, we let him off the hook for this once.

He's straight up. Another stair falling? You know, that would be kind of locked. This guy up, even if he didn't do it. He was also rough. String another stair falling. You know what I would say? We catalog this guy up. Even if he didn't do it. He was also roughly. That's what it is to pattern. If you have a pattern in that behavior.

I say the fuck out there. Even if it's a coincidence, it's like, I'm just right here. It's gonna happen again. There's no way I can believe that this happens. He more creative about how you kill people, dumb dumb. You're also creative though. He's got to wait twice.

Every but how's every woman so bad at stairs? Yeah. Is he still in jail or he got? He's free to wait twice. Every but how's every woman, you know, so bad at stairs. Yeah. Is he still in jail or he got him? He's free now and on Netflix, I didn't know this. Because I was like, why staircase on Netflix? It's an HBO show. Because the director came out with three new episodes. The ad, the documentary.

Oh, that's documentary. It's an update what he's doing now, where he's living. I'm shocked that he admitted to that, though. Like I thought it was like a huge, he got away with it, I thought. Yes and no, you know, he admitted to a but under the impression that he actually beat his wife to death. How much time did he do? Oh, I mean, eight years, the first time he did eight years, then finally they found that they fucked with evidence,

so they put them on parole, and until they looked more into it, they went back to trial, then pleaded guilty, then got out, and the thing went back again. So he basically has done a lot of time when he admitted he said I did do it. Just to get out, they said, it's just, I forget what they call it. Plei-bargain, right? No, no, it's not plei-bargain.

It's a certain admitting to guilt, but it doesn't mean that you actually did the crime, but you're admitting to it. It's so weird. I just found about it last night. Yeah. That is a, here's, and this might not be a popular take, and I'm really this committed to the idea,

so you maybe can steer me in a direction. I don't think you should be able to get away with things because of some weird legal technicalities. Alfred Pley. Right. That's Alfred Pley. So a guilty plea entered as a part of the plea bargain by a criminal defendant who did nice command the crime

or who does not actually admit his guilt. Alfred pleat, wow. So the plea maybe except as long as there is evidence that the defendant is actually guilty. I never knew that even existed. Me neither. I wrote last time like, that's a fuck, that's a weird.

Alfred pleat, wow. The Al Horfered plea is if you believe that someone intentionally tried to found you. Yeah. You can just say, I'll let it be regular. Yeah, that guy's life's just screwed. Oh yeah, well, if you murder, talk to OJ. If you murder a society tends to go,

you know, you killed a woman that you were married to, you're gay, and maybe just marry a man. No, Brian, he was innocent. That man was found innocent. Yeah, and a court of law. This is son. It might have been the time. Oh, you mean, OJ?

Oh, he's guilty of, you know, being... Having a good time. Guilty of running the ball well. Yeah, he's a good guy. We jumped to conclusions on that one. You're right, buddy. You know what's funny? They said, OJ, in the OJ book,

they said, when after he was found not guilty, he went to his favorite restaurant. They gave him a table every time he went and the owner was like oh no No, you can't sit here anymore. This isn't for you. He's like what because another place. They will him sit down He thought it was all good because he's found not guilty by a jury He thought that meant everyone's on board with him and all is would call him anymore. His friends, family, nobody. Nah, man, that's gonna happen. No, here's what I was gonna say earlier, is that like, and maybe you guys will disagree,

but it's like, I don't like that someone should be found innocent on like, technicalities. Like, I got a buddy who's just got a DUI. He totally did it. You know what I'm talking about? So, what's your name? I'm Steve. And, but then he got an attorney who's our other friends' wife,

and they got a bunch of stuff wrong on the ticket, like the year of his car and like his address isn't correct, you know, and all this stuff and they're like, so we might be able to get him out of it. It's like, well, just because they didn't get the color of your car right, you didn't drink and drive, you idiot. That happens all of a sudden.

But that's such a stupid thing. Guys get out of prison for murder for the same thing. That's crazy. Have you ever had a friend that prison for murder for the same thing. That's crazy, dude. Have you ever had a friend that you defended and then you find out like three years later, somebody goes, I ain't no, he fucked over my friend and a couple other people and you go, oh, dude, you know, sometimes you can, you gotta, it's hard man.

Some people have a track record, it doesn't come out for a long time. Yeah, it is, well, but it's like also like, I don't like what people do. It happened to me recently. If if I was shoplifting or something from like a place and we were like best buddies, we both worked at like a hardware store. I'm just stealing shit.

Yeah, I don't tell you about it. I just want to be your friend. Right, I'm ashamed of my stealing, but I just do it. And then you come to work and I'm not there. And the boss comes over, they go, hey, what's up, man? You go, where's Jeff?

And they go, oh, he was stealing. We had to determine him. You would then your incident would go, you were in a shoot, we go, he wouldn't do that. And it's like, well, you wouldn't know what I would. Yeah, you wouldn't know what I would do. You wouldn't know what I would do. So that's what that kind of happened to me two days ago.

Yeah, I'd known somebody a long time and they were going through some shit. And then I remember they had a thing with somebody. And randomly, I was having dinner with somebody. I don't even know that well. They said they go, yeah, he fucked my friend over. Yeah. And I went, who's your friend? They said the name. And I mean, you were like, Barry Katwood. I love Barry. But he got a different, he got a different fucking, I got a different story. Then I hear it from random somebody. And then I also, this guy's also had other issues. Yeah, it's tough. So

now you go, it's like the staircase. You're like, pattern here. Yeah, there's a pattern and I'm like, am I on the wrong team? About depending the wrong guy here? Yeah. Fuck man. I don't know. Hey, how much, I should try this whiskey.

Do you think so, man? There's a wine glass. You try to put it in this weiner-shaped bottle. I don't know why they bought bottles like that. I have no clue why I might do that. You try the Tiger Thick, is that what you're talking about? You want the Tiger Thick? Yeah, what do you guys want, what do you recommend? I want smokey that one's more You gotta get the tiger thick. Definitely do the tiger thick

Definitely Don't we get the text one of the guys? Yeah, tell me who wants them Three glasses you want some little four glasses Other little ice yeah four glasses with the cool cubes. That ain't eating anything yet But little whiskey sometimes you don't need food Food's overrated. What are you a new alcoholic? Tracks get calories from liquids. Track. I wasn't paying for it. Drink Embarrassing humble bread. Oh, yeah

I'm I tell my friend because I don't collect this wine. You can have it. I was like but that one has anyone ever called you now, Colin No, I don't drink much. Oh, I had an extra oven coming out calling once it triggered me for like a fucking month Yeah, I think what I drank with you all the time. Yeah fun. Yeah, we had a great time We made love on beach like what are you talking about? I guess because I know an alcohol I see I didn't drink for like a month and a half Like this fuck that I got a great shot to prove it though You you probably drink every day, right with her her every day just have a Endemic playing and I loved her. Yeah, I became not called don't pay that there's nothing else to do

Yeah, so I was a straight out and then and then in a fit of an anger She called me an alcoholic and it rattled me for like a while. It a trigger, yeah. Yeah, it's a cool hot. You know why a trigger, dude? You know why? Because I had a call. Yeah, I know. But I'm really not. I actually went to a therapist and I went to a guy that my buddy's been like clean for 20 years.

You got 20 coins, you know? Yeah, thanks. Thanks, A for the coins. You're thinking, what are you drinking? Yeah, I love whiskey. I'm beer. I just like the social part of drinking. But I just when she said it

I was like this is insane like made me tailspin and they were like you're definitely not an alcoholic Yeah, can I ask you something? Oh in this for everyone. So I define it. Can you stop when you start? I'm 35 Yeah, the answer's no I was just bored of it I don't want to like because I never get drunk. Yeah. But like yesterday, I'm getting this increase in Theo and have an intervention. Cause I drink at 10 a.m. We do the show. Yeah, but he was like, bro, it's like 30. That's why I said I go, million shots. That's what I said. That's what I go, what time do you guys wake up? To me,

that I'm halfway through the fucking day. I've been up since five, man. Yeah. I knew this for fun. Yeah. I don't, I've never seen, I've never seen you. I've never seen you. I've never, never seen you I said I never I can't see on the road have you ever seen me ever? No, I don't even yeah, I've never seen never and to me that's the difference The one weekend I went to Nashville with you. Oh, that's right. That's good time. You like hey I'm gonna head back to the and I was like where's everyone going? Oh, hey come over here. Who in the morning? Yeah Can you can you come on whiskey? Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, my buddy a bun guy. There was there a jelly roll jelly roll Just keep that guy. He's not hot. He's strange bringing tequila's like this big. I'm not I mean There's 30 shots of vodka. I go jelly. There's eight of us. Yeah

Not even for He goes, I don't know, just hand him to Brandon people. Yeah. It was as so as the train on Nashville. It was so hilarious. He just keeps bringing him around. And I go, I thought I had a problem. That guy's got a problem.

That guy's a problem. He's the best. But sometimes if you're gonna hang him all the time. I'm gonna handle it. I can't. I'm a bitch. If I drink one glass of whiskey, I'm good in the next day. Better watch out, because I might be a little off.

I might kill, you know, I'm a bitch. Little foggy. Dude, I'm not, I do not I do not have the couple things I'm not good at one I'm terrible in the cold I become a coward I'm at a complaint to I can't drink a lot of whiskey and Speaking of which that's way too much whiskey for me but I appreciate not the ice is pushing up a lot of it It's a buoyancy issue. Thanks buddy. You're right, it's what. That one the mark.

Hey, thanks for bringing me whiskey. That's a nice thing that friends do for each other. That's right. Cheers buddy, love you man. Thanks for having me. Mark, Jeff has been doing cheers. Jeff, cheers buddy. Cheers buddy.

No, no, no. No, not today. I'm good today. He's drinking in a business. He's going to go hard on the paint, taking a break. Given his liver, a little bit of breather. Now no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was on set. Like 31%? I don't want to be in fucking anywhere for 35 days. Everett.

I don't like being home for a thought I'd go, I gotta get out of here. Oh dude, yeah. 14 damn, man. I got that. Being on set, the death of fun. It really is. You just waiting around.

You know everyone on that movie, I bet if you bring anyone in here from that movie, makeup department, producers, whatever. They go, that guy's crazy. Cause I was just talking, make jokes, I play like catching the whole way. I was just so bored all the time. Me too.

At least you have a captive audience to make people laugh. That's all I ever did on set. Ever, and I would know exception. With no exception. Until I went, you know, I've never been on set where I didn't want it to be over. Now imagine going from project to product, that's your life project.

That's why I just so weird. They have to do that all the time. That's why Johnny Depp, like go you believe this guy's in like fucking Tahiti just like past out with mascara on scarves It's like yeah dude hit play Jack Spill for nine years. He's losing his shit. Yeah, yeah You gotta be drunk and high all the time. Sorry. He was Edward Sizzar hands you fuck you think he wants to do this And he had to deal with Amhert. It means he's making $80 million of fucking pictures. Well, I mean, I just remember we'd wrap and I'd be like,

well, I guess I'd go back to my, I don't know nobody in Detroit except the people on the movie. So I would just be like, hey, come drink with me. And they're like, all right, I guess this guy, like I wouldn't do that if we were at home. Like if we were shooting in LA, I could just go to my place, go hang out with my buddies. But like when you're in Detroit alone, it's just too long.

Yeah, that's without Detroit. I mean, I love Detroit. Cause that's where Mike Young's from. Damn Gilbert is funding the most of the movie. Who's Dan Gilbert? Dan Gilbert owns the cabs, to the youngs, like everything in Detroit. Stock ex.

I don't know that. Little Caesar. Mike's great man. How's the movie? Did he write it? It was fun. Yeah, he wrote it. It was tough cause I played Mike Young. I don't know if you know that I didn't he wrote himself as the lead So like there'll be lines like yo, man. That's just how this goes, you know, and I'm like I don't think I would say it like that

I don't really talk like that. Yeah, no Yeah, you're playing like the toughest guy who would wear like a Chain and Detroit, you know, that's a good guy is the best Mike, what do you look like? Great comedy. Yeah, he's funny know, but that's a good guy is the best I know what he looked like Like my awesome great comedy. Yeah, he's funny comic, but he's a one-of-a-kind guy You don't meet other Mike Young's so if I'm playing Mike I'm like I don't know how to really do you still open for sagging, man Yeah, he's awesome and and Mike is Mac is Mike is not ambitious either Mike is one of those guys You just want everybody to have a good time. He's not looking at, he's not looking like his mother.

His mother was like, yeah, but his mother was like, I want him to buy a house or an economy, and he just doesn't give a fuck. He's a cool, he's a materialist, young. I want him to be not ambitious. I don't like 10 movies and just, and that's the guy's referencing earlier from Detroit who was DMing all these athletes.

Oh, haha, David. Yeah, he's a very funny guy. Super monster. He's like the new Kevin Hart. Really? Yeah, Mike's great, man, it's a very funny guy. Super monster. He's like the new Kevin Hart. Really? Yeah, Mike's great, man. Mike's just a great guy. He was hard to get you in that picture. Yeah, I'm feeling good. I think in that photo, I'm holding a whiskey actually. That exact head shot. There you go. I got a whiskey in my hand. Got a smooth forehead. You were young that. So you went from Detroit to Hawaii. You went Detroit to Hawaii? Yeah, Hawaii is the best.

We got to get you out there. Yeah, yep, yep. Dude, they were not for 35 days, but yeah. No, no, no. Four days most. For stand-up, you mean? I went there for a stay there for... Yeah, for a stay there for...

I stayed there for like 10 days. I was only in one show, I'd one show Friday. But I told my guys, dude, I just want to see Maui, see what it's like. And he took me to all these local, but we sang karaoke. I just like crap the whole time because that's the only way you fit in. Yeah. Yeah, I just had to wear like swim trunks and like a dirty t-shirt and everyone's like, he must be for a man. Yeah, he lives here.

Yeah, you don't be an outcast. You don't want to wear Chelsea boots when you're in the new lineup. The skinny jeans and Chelsea boots. Yeah, you forget it. I actually one night a girl came up to me and she's like, she was like flirting with me and I wasn't interested in anything, but I'm bored, so I'm just talking to her. And she's like, by the way, don't wear this.

Oh, there's a word. Don't wear that. Yeah, wouldn't be dumb wearing it, right now. What am I supposed to do, Jacob? I can't go home and change. I was just saying that's the whole thing to say. You were discussing earlier some of the rituals and why that were surprising to me.

What do you mean, like mousse-a-bees? Like, uh, oh yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, one time with the hook. Yeah. and Hawaii that were surprising to me. What do you mean like moose abuse? Like a... Oh yeah, yeah. No, no, one time with the hawker. Yeah, I was talking about... Yeah, he's saying he wants to let us on air. That's a Maori language. That's a Maori language.

You know when a fight's going down, you hear it because I don't know the term for it, they get hyped up. So it's like, it's not like some guy be like, say something or like, you know, some go to God, say something. You know, you can't do it in Hawaii it's like SUP FUCKER!

HECKING! HE HECKING! COME ON YOUR WAY SUP FUCKER! He was like you would eat and go oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, It's Tongue and we had a guy in the sea football team and you know, it's a lot of Hawaiian. Because when they coached, Mike Cabral was, he grew up in Hawaii. So he recruited a lot of Hawaiians, dude. They're the nicest people on the fucking planet. Then when they drink, it's jackal and high, dude.

They drink, they wanna fight. N nicest people are used to meet the ones I met. They're called to, they're sweet arts, but when you're on their island and they're going, eh, well, it's this guy up to? He's looking at my girlfriend. You better be built like Brendan too if you want to, if you want to. I want no problem.

That was the only thing I thought about is that, so he was in Philly and I go, what are you doing? I'm going to text him back and forth and I say, you got to come to Hawaii because you'll draw a grade out there. And then you'd have so much fun and it's also like you can just go on the beach and chill and you don't have to go to like one of these great, you don't have to go to these local bars. You can just have some time. We poured vodka Yeah, you have to go to like one of these great. You have to go to these local bars. You can just have to do time.

We poured vodka and a water bottle. We had a great day. Whatever. My point is, then I start telling the guys, like Chino and Trish and Willie about having you out there. And they're like, well, he's big, right? Yeah. And they go, he's like an ultimate fighter.

And go, yeah, he was. And now he's a funny comedian. And they're like, yeah, people are gonna try to fight him. I go, what? They'll kill them. And they go, I know, but it's just their mentality. Like, I wanna get a go in here. Yeah, it's nice to see you.

Yeah, they get fucking back. But you don't wanna do that. Nothing's gonna happen. I don't wanna do anything. No, I'm just gonna hide. So we've told the story before. I like the story. I personally love the story because it was when I I like you know

You hang with your friend, and you don't think yeah, he's my buddy, right? But he's and we fuck around off grab him and stuff, but you know, but he's chatted. You've been grabbing a while I'm gonna grab you I actually thought I was tested your might I'll test them later, but we don't we don't know But a friend test. I mean not like you know, oh yeah I mean you started resident where I'm like we, yeah, yeah. I mean, you started wrestling, I'm not doing head punches, which is, you know. No, probably when Chin and the short Kings, we did that thing.

Yeah, but you're even that, you're being nice. How'd you do? He threw me like a ragdoll. Yeah, because he's big. All of them versus different way of class. No, it's also technique, but so he, so there's a black belt. But Chin, people think I messed up your neck.

No. The neck thing came like, we safter. Chin's face, he's not, you, but you can people think I messed up your neck. No, the neck thing came like After We talked about this many times before the two guys. No, so I beat them. I want that war against a little not really Yeah, I did no, remember they sure killed and cared you out. They couldn't get me out Remember we broke the light here. Oh, no, they picked up shapel. Yeah, I was able to survive. I want that right That's why we did on. That's all we did on.

That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on.

That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on. That's all we did on.

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Even the lady. 268. They like their guitar small and their women huge. Yes. Yes. And gay in my experience. Guitar small and their women huge. Well he came from a tradition of giant big tits. I got weighed about 250 to 60. Yeah, at least. Yeah. Bulled head. And so we're, we're done training.

He's like Moana. We're done training. We're done training. But that guy, Maui, that's the guy. And Brennan is being channeled, everybody, because he's just so much bigger, right? And there are a lot of black belts and stuff. But Brennan's kind of like whatever,

letting you get positioned. Not a big deal. He's not going to try to fucking steamroll anybody. Yeah. And so what happens is all of a sudden we're walking, we're done and this Simone guy goes, shop, and Brennan goes, I go, it's like cheese.

Well I go, what the fuck, that guy's a black belt, and he's Simone, and I go, Brennan go, holy fuck man, are you gonna be all right? And he goes, he goes. Yeah, I am, he goes, he goes. Yeah, I am. He goes, watch this. Oh nice. And I watched him take that.

It's big to me. Dude, he took this phone black line. Fucking did what he does to me. I was like, oh, there are levels to the game. So, you know, if you're gonna get in, if you're gonna try to talk to him, you're gonna have your neck broke if you get neck broke if you, if you get crazy. And the winner,

and the winner got a spam sandwich. Are you talking about him? I'm talking about him. He goes to the party. Yeah, he has spam sandwich. Yeah, the winner got spam. That's it, you get nothing. You get nothing.

But I'm saying if you're gonna be in a bar and you wanna go, I don't know. I see if I can beat up Brandon. But Pete, I have witnessed it before. Something happens, like, so when people see me go to a bar, they might wanna, there might be a moment where they go a punch that idiot Girl my girlfriend look at her face. Yeah, I'm a son of a bitch. I'll be able to talk my way out of it done a million a time I am a notice bag. Hey come on. She's pretty. Of course everyone's looking at relax. You know you talk you out

Yeah, we'll play with the gift God gave us But I have witnessed a strong guy see another strong guy and guy I can You at for no reason drunk my friend Randy Valerio one of the coolest funny as nice to do I know he'll get some whiskey in him. You know Todd Duffy is I don't talk really yeah Todd is in the him you speak trade like new pals right like you just came to my house We drank yeah, oh my house we had a good time with a freak and so let's go to this other bar So now it's like me and 20 the people that run my house. Yeah, much bigger than me. house. We had a good time with it. He's a freak. And I said, let's go to this other bar. So now it's like me and 20 of the people that were in my house. Yeah, me.

Much bigger than me. Oh, you've seen his face. The guys look just all muscle. Yeah. And so we go to the, he's got muscles in his face. But the ears have muscles. And very well trained. And so we go to this bar called the Woodman,

right by my house. And it's all 20 people that were in my house. My new friend Todd, and we're all hanging out. And my buddy Randy just decides at a nowhere, like to go up to Todd and go, hey, don't think just cause you do that, you have see bullshit that I couldn't take you. And I go, oh no.

That's it guys, not been posting this. Randy picked the one guy. Well Randy has me with a professional. He'll kill everyone. Yes. But he has me with a professional. So what will happen with Randy is, Randy will get grabbed, he'll get gripped, just gripped,

and it'll be a whole different world for him. He'll go, oh fuck. Yeah, I don't think, I know Randy could destroy him. He looks like Marty's Jack. But also I don't know if Randy's ever fought a pro. So he hasn't learned that. No, I'll take that back. I'll go real bad for that.

Real quick. Yeah, the, that's like me and Mark and Jay and David went to the bar stool bar and Philly. Just Shane Gillis, like you got to come in and it's right up there. So I go up there and it's me and Shane were talking. We're surrounded, it's like all these guys know dance. And I was like, I don't know what to do with my hands man.

He's like, just get a drink, I'm like, good idea. So I'm like this and he's like, man, is it weird, by the way, is looking? Like, what do you think they wanna fight you? No, what, what, all these fracked eyes? I mean, no, I'm not worried, man. I just don't wanna be here. I hate music, I hate people in general.

I just wanna go home, I'm just weird. How he came to talk to you, man. Nothing gives him more anxiety than being like, hey, we're all gonna dance, you look good. God. Nate Markhort told me a story a long time ago where a guy was fucking with his friend. And he said, hey, maybe he should, you know, Nate. And he said, hey, maybe he should stop doing that.

And the guy was this big lumberjack and the guy goes, guy goes, fuck you or something like that. And he goes, well, I'll fuck with you or something. And apparently Nate, what did you do? And Nate goes, well, I kind of just grabbed him. I grabbed him and I knew he was going to try to hit me. So I grabbed, I stopped him and I grabbed his head. And try to hit me so I grabbed I stopped him and I I grabbed his head And I I just went

He came back to and he's like you fucking ass That was it and I go to Nate I go were you nervous and he goes he didn't mean to but he goes no And I go to Nate, I go, were you nervous? And he goes, he didn't mean to, but he goes, no. No, Nate's the best. Like, yeah. Profession. Wait, so here's the thing, you fought professional.

After fighting professionally, did you ever have any fights? Never. I've never been a late-night speed fight. Never. Never. I don't go out. I don't go out.

It's like, you know, I put myself in that environment. Boxing is another example, like just having been gotten in the ring with certain people. I don't think people realize what happens to you when you get hit once by somebody who really knows how to hit. So you can say that you're tough and say you've been. This is a new development that a lot of people know how to professionally do this. Yeah, but that's in the last 20 years. But I think what gives them, everyone was a damn it. I think those armchair experts,

what gives them even more validation is these YouTubers come over in a boxing now. And they're like, see, see? See? They're doing it. No. Well, you have seen, became a thing. Mixed martial arts has become a thing.

Like regular guys who just work at the bar, they everyday go to some octagon and learn from guys like you had it like that like that didn't used to be a thing no everyone just a bunch of pedestrian street fighting and the odds that you'd meet a Professional well my buddies a lord who said that my buddies the lawyer said that he goes I represent a lot of people who get in fights and they because they train the injuries are way worse now way worse way worse like crazy shit Yeah, I never dealt with this. Now you're dealing with real,

real injuries, like really dangerous stuff. I think that comes from the anxiety in society. People want to learn to defend themselves. 100%. It's also pretty cool. Yeah, you have more access than ever now. If you think it's cool, you go, some guys going to teach me. I got 40 bucks a day. Yeah. I used to live in his house. I was like 11 dudes who went to university of Washington, just me. This is 12 guys just living in his house. I was like 11 dudes who went to University of Washington, just me. There's 12 guys just living in a house. That movie Fight Club was real popular, so we started like a fight club. Although we told everybody.

We told everybody the fight club. The first rule is tell everyone. Tell everyone. That was so cool. And also it's fun to fight your friends because like no one's gonna get too carried away. Hopefully not. Yeah, I mean, it did happen, but like it wasn't like in outside of a bar.

Yeah. People like stomping. So it is, I climbed with the ranks pretty quick. The two biggest guys in the house was like a firefighter named Justin Morgan, who's literally like, I don't know how much older

he means, a senior in college. And I just, I'm like 17. And then the other guy was a firefighter named Ross. But then the rest of those guys, so the top two would beat the shit out of me so badly that I would go to work and I'd be like, coughing up blood, like, because they would do a lot of kidney shots.

Would you have gloves on or what would you do? No, let's fight club, dude. Just fight club. But we wouldn't, we would punch in the face pretty often, but it wasn't like, it was mostly like, yeah, crazy shit, could you try to get someone to do that? All right, it's over, you can punch me in the face. It's a nice stuff, yeah.

You're gonna work on the one hand. And I would, I'd have to go to the work, my boss would put him in like, hey, is everything okay? And I'm like, no, I'm in a fight club. I said, no, Jesus. Like, he's doing this on purpose. Hey, here's my problem with all this whole story.

Why are two grown fighter fighters living with all these young kids? No, no. Because they make enough money to live on their own. No, my parents kicked me out of my house. No. Because you guys are good looking. They have a pretty good salary where they can get

their own place. Well, I'd say they were the early part of being a firefighter where you just have to go for free. They were pledges. They're volunteers. They were gonna be firefighters and they had to like go stay at the firehouse. There were pledges, there were volunteers. They were gonna be firefighters and they had to go stay at the firehouse. Oh, gotcha, yeah.

Cause they were only seniors in college. Everyone else in the house was going to college. I kept them in my parents' house and they let me live in this house. That's nice. Yeah, but they were nice to me. They were big brothers, but they were like, they would still be like,

we gotta beat the fire. Yeah, they looked just so nice. Oh, well it's also nightly. It's also fight, but I liked it. Yeah. I was like, I have no brothers, like, you know, and I would just, I would pick fights with them. I'd call a firehouse leaves,

I'm like really aggressive voicemail. I'd be like, I heard you got that little pussy ass, gay guy Ross working there, and he's not a gay guy, and they didn't like that in 2001, you know. He couldn't talk like that then. And so the, like, you really can't tell me that. I can't tell you that. I can't tell you that. I can't tell you that. I can't tell you that. I couldn't talk like that then and so the that you really can't tell me that. What I did then. I didn't even say that stuff right now.

Yeah, now it's hotter than that. That Ross comes home and he's over my, I slept on the futon. He's like over the futon. Yeah, what was that? Someone's playing basketball. So he's like, friend Ross is here. Come on Ross.

No Ross to be over my futon and he had like a alarm clock and he just cracked it on my head. And I'm like, oh no. Cause I know that I left that voice. And he goes, trying to embarrass me in front of the fire department, huh? Trying to embarrass me in front of my friends. I'm trying to work, trying to gain the thing.

And then I just knew I was gonna get the beating of my life like right there. But you enjoyed it. Well, here's the thing, yeah I did. Here's the thing. Getting beat up teaches you how to fight. I got beat up so mercilessly by the top two that I learned how to beat up the rest of the guys in the house.

Yeah, you were third in command. You learned how to cover up in this. And I was keep your eyes open. This is a frat house. Yeah, I was the youngest. And these guys like Morton would come in. He's like, all challenge, Diddy, that's what they call me, Diddy. And I was like, all right, I beat him up so badly.

Diddy. That I started crying. You know, something in me broke. Like I just like to beat. Yeah, I beat him up so badly. Did he? That I started crying. You know, like something in me broke. Like I just like beat him. Yeah, I went out and said, I'm talking to you. You know what I'm saying? You really did a study on that,

like kids who grew up with bigger brothers. A lot of like the toughest football players, fighters, like certain boxers grew up with mostly brothers. And what's really interesting is that I think the fastest people in the world grew up at like the fifth son in a family, fourth son in a family. And so all the kids were faster and they had to keep up with their families. Oh yeah, yeah. And that weird.

Well Eli's the youngest, right? Eli Manning. Yeah. He was the youngest. Yeah. I'm the best quarterback in that family. I don't know about that. You don't mean that.

You guys are wrong. You guys are really afraid to bait here. Yeah. It's not that it's just being honest. Yeah. You're super balls against Patriots. Yeah, sure. Payed Mannington. Payed only one super ball. That other one, the defense one. I mean, you know, they say they had one. You know, they say that the middle brother who had injured? No, there's a, there's a oldest. A dead oldus. The oldest, they say is the most gifted. Yeah. Now that the son of the oldest, he's the number one recruit in like 30 years. That is great revenge.

What? Yes, you know all this guy got nothing. That's a genetic thing. Alabama, Florida, Georgia, the oldest pain manning brother. Everyone's trying to get him to come to school. Every single, he has high school kid right now. He's high school senior monster.

Cause he grew up with Eli and his uncle's Eli and Peyton. So he learned how to watch tape. Coop is a monster. Oh, he looks like both of them. He has his own show on ESPN, too. Oh my, let's see the sun. Let's see the sun. I want to see this kid.

Do manning sun. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it's Cooper Manning, it might be. Wow. Archmanning. Archman. What a cool name. Archmanning.

That good. Who's Hyde? Who has the same picture as that? A lot of Manning's manning. A lot of Manning's. That seems confusing. Hyde. It looks like the whole line recruited.

I think Hyde Manning looks like Peyton Manning. Boy, I'll tell you what, so you grow up, I guess, watching tape and all that stuff, playing all the sports. Oh, and your dad and your two uncles, are MVPs and NFL. He come from Crazy Stock. We hide Manning.

There he is, he's muscular and average. Arch Manning. Arch Manning, he's the number one recruit in like 30 years, they say, what? He's just a freak. Well good, that makes me happy. That'll be cool for Cooper. You have any six, four, 18 years old,

he's just a ball. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, they have no idea what to do. How terrible would that be? If you're archmaning, you're throwing out, you're just slinging touchdowns, and they go, hey, your last name's Manning. Are you related to Peyton Manning?

And he's like, no, no, my dad is Cooper Manning. They go, I don't. No, no, I mean, Eli Manning? No, no. Watch watch no not Eli I know Archie made Cooper. No, that's my grandpa. Who the fuck's Cooper man? Who the fuck is just the dark one of the what are you talking about? They were tired and one in the family the peanut butter fountain. Oh Cooper's my dad

Damn it. You're really cool. We're ready That's tough dude. I know cuz didn't're really cool, are you ready? That's tough, dude. And because didn't Cooper get injured, he was supposed to be really... Yeah, he was supposed to be a monster and just got injured. But apparently he was the most talented one. What genetics, man?

But of course, you would say that because we have no idea. Well, also, like these things happen. Spinal stenosis. No, there you go. Pinch nerves. Ended his plane career, but apparently he was like the most talented manning. Wow The whole family man. I mean Jesus Christ these things happen though

It's like it's kind of like you if if Cooper's really good a football of course Eli and Peyton will be also Yeah, cuz he's so good. He's playing with them. Yeah, but think of it when your dad's archie Yeah, because he's so good he's playing with him. Yeah, but think of it when your dad's archie So all your fundamentals are just drilled it on it. Yeah, so like now I'm glad we'll book the talks about this But it's a hockey player. I don't remember what it was it might be it might be outliers Yeah, but it's like those kind of things just happen, you know, it's where it's like all the pro wrestlers now had dads They're pro wrestler. Yeah, because if I told my friends I want to be a pro-wrestler, they go, what? Mozart's dad was a musician.

They go shut up. Like I'm a famous music teacher. So that makes sense. Look at the whole family. We're going to play with it. Yeah, you're going to believe it. Yeah, you're going to believe it. I'm not Bill Gates is like in this unique position

where he was in Seattle in an ice school that the person's dad was his programmer to give him access to code when nobody, so you get this giant head start on something right. Yeah. But not even news getting a head start. Yeah.

It's just like this perfect story. Right. But that's an analogy for sports too. A year and everything. Yeah. Hockey, all the kids are born in these months because it gives you a six month advantage when you're five. Right.

Well, think about it like with Major League Baseball right now. There's like, I don't know, I'm going to make up a number, but something like 50 Major League Baseball players currently whose dads were like really good players in the 90s. Now there's like, I don't know, I'm gonna make up a number, but something like 50 major league baseball players currently whose dads were like really good players in the show. So it's like Craig Bigeo Jr. And like, Raul Montes, he's kid. It's a real real Franks kid.

Boba Shet is Dante, but Shet's son. Vladimir Guerrero Jr. Cecil Fields. Yeah, Prince Field, I don't think he retired, but the same thing. It's the same thing. They're all in the bonds. They're all, but the same thing is like they're all His dad Because you know, have you ever thought about what made you a comic like oh for sure what what do you think it was?

My what your therapist say But I could tell you I mean it was so my parents never like abused me or anything my parents are like normal people But I'm like a victim of like. Like they never cared about anything. They were never around, they never listened. What were they doing? Nothing. They didn't want kids, I think. So I was the kid that would be like,

I draw something and go, look at this. And they go, and they go, hey, look at me, I'm dancing on the counter. And they go, I'm getting this trouble. I would just try to, I was always trying to do a job. You said you were the only child. No, I had two sisters. But I was always trying to be seen or being heard

or being goofy or being like, yeah, let's be friends. But would your sisters care about it? Yeah, they were awesome. But they did the same thing. They were all kind of like, lacking in attention, trying to get some sort of attention.

I believe that's what's wrong with your parents. So, it makes great, it makes comedians, but also it's like, you want your parents to pay attention, you want them to like listen to you. You know, Midsie Shore used to say, she, the story, I don't know if it's true, but I've heard it from a couple other people.

When Paulie Shore would be crying in the crib, she would just let him cry, and they'd be like, he's crying, and she'd be like, I'm teaching him how to bomb, and keep going. That's kind of fun, and cool. But I have a mom, great, terrible pairing.

Yeah, that's all. For me, I'd like for me growing up, every moving every year and a mom, a great, terrible parent. Yeah, that's all. For me, growing up, every, the moving every year and a half, two years, and being thrown into a whole new space, a new country, new continent, a giant batch. Why, I didn't get people learning a lot of animal facts. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing a lot of weird animal impressions. Yeah, I do.

You want to see what a cobra looks like when it's muscular? Hey, guys. Yeah, they were seeing a penguin. I remember, I remember saying to me, I remember talking about owls. Hey, you want to see what a cobra looks like when it's muscular? Hey guys I remember I remember saying to me. I remember about owls. I was like don't be the last guy picked on the team Be good be some of good at sports be coordinated and fucking be an idiot. Yeah, get him to like you That's why I was always making goofs in class is like oh, this is great. It's like where I'm getting tension Everyone's paying attention to me. Yeah, yeah. I think that's almost like a human intelligence. What about you?

What do you think, what made you want to be attention? Yeah, but you were forced in sports. It was almost like a... Maybe because it was so serious, my way to deal with how serious and stressful it was is to be the funny guy. You know, like it was so intense everywhere. Yeah.

Like in locker rooms. All locker rooms, so intense. I don't know, I thought they were all, but it's also like football players tend to have to high social IQ, because they're always fucking with each other and their friends. Yeah, it's like, you're not really. It's more of an initiate. Is that not true?

I'm not talking about that. Yeah, that's amazing. It's big difference. So it's a lot of the older guys always hazing the young. Yeah, when I look back at it, it's like, this guy was like shoving me into the fucking wall, like when I'm a freshman, cuz he's a senior, like, so I'm getting physical abuse by like my first,

I've never played football before. And it's like, it's just part of it. Yeah, that doesn't sound like, you know, productive at all. I just have a quit now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my shoulders, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Came through the football. But that's how it, it's like, there is, it's,

It's more of a haze. What about family stuff? Anything with family? No. I don't want to get into it. Yeah, I don't want to get into it. You told me a couple stories. That's that's man. What do you got? There's a mom with Tyler. Yeah, I share the stories, but I was saying like I those couple stories were like, oh, that makes sense. That's why. But I mean, that everybody I know is your mom's great. I like, oh that makes sense. That's why. But I mean, that everybody I know, your mom's great, I love her.

It's it, it, it, it, it's interesting that everybody I know who fought or who does comedy, it's almost like you have to have some dysfunction in your past. Well, baby, I think that with every human ever. Yeah. So I feel it says that. I'm sure there's a lot of bread truck drivers

with trauma. Sure. But no one ever wants to go. I bet all bread truck drivers have some of the things that are weird like in comedy. Like oh, everyone's darkling of bread truck drivers with trauma. Sure. But no one ever wants to go. I bet all bread truck drivers have to. Yeah, it is weird like in comedy. Like oh, everyone's darkling. No, they're not. You just know some dark.

There's having to be dark comments. I'm not dark. I know a lot of comics that are not dark. I'm not dark. I don't think of myself as darkling. Yeah, no, no. Let me have your spots, you know. Yeah, if you're rewards.

I got my rewards. Deep callback. But also into like, here's my perspective on meeting comedians. I'm always like, mostly really smart people and observant, and I think intelligence correlates with darkness. You know what I mean? Or even being an outcast or whatever. You know where of those certain circumstances?

Yeah, because reality is dark. You know? That's how that's your observant. I'm not gonna fucking tell you that. What's the thing, comics are the smartest people in the world in the fashion that not intelligently, smart enough books, smart noties, IQ things, but just like that we can see something terrible

and go, this is a lot for my heart and my brain to deal with. I'm on, if I make light of it, I just make a joke, me and my buddies can deal with it. Not irony is another thing. Like, it's, I'm not saying this is an important, but I'm gonna have to go about my day.

If I make a joke about this. Well, think about, even like the Old Testament, Adam and Eve, right? Don't bite the apple from the tree of what? Will you lose your innocence when you get what? Tree of knowledge. Like if knowledge is what the fucking give you, it's like, that's this oldest fuck,

that's 3500 years old. Like the more you know, it's hard not to be a little dark. It's hard not, the more you know you just are aware that this is a lot of snakes out there. Yeah, there's a lot of danger out there. Yeah, I gotta like be silly about it. It's gonna help me not fucking freak out. I'm not gonna spiral if I can just make a joke

or goof around a little bit. When I get stressed and worried about the world, I start writing comedy. Well'm not gonna spy a role if I can just make, we make a joke or goof around a little bit. When I get stressed and worried about the world, I start writing comedy. Well, my sister at her funeral, I was making all these jokes and goofing around. And my friends were like, not my friends, but like the people that came to the funeral were like, it's like a goof around over there.

That's the brother. Like she was like his mom. So like that's how he deals with it. Of course. And so like that's, I mean, I was depressed as anybody in that room, but I was like, that's just how I'm roasting your stuff. Who's gonna go?

No, the UG was good, but like, but in the room, go ahead and have it see you in a while. Like, you know, just being silly in the, that's not the best energy for a few more. Oh, it is. I mean, like my, my celebration, my order for you, yeah. My buddy, his friend, the kid was 16, that had an overdose in the house and then

It was terrible, but they they're sitting in the front roads the two brothers the sister and mom and and that and the uncle that nobody sees Yeah, he never sees he's fucking he was a plumber and he just he he fell in tie and his tie He had a clip on tie that was this fucking thing and he leaned on left my ass up He had a clip on Ty that was this fucking thing. So no, and he leaned on it. Oh, it laughed my ass up. He goes, he goes, my condolence is on my hand. Ty's here. Ty's here.

Hey, my condolence, my condolence. Like, he's like, literally having an idea. And literally in front row, and the brother goes, he goes, did you see his tie? Yeah. And they start laughing. But people think they're crying because they're ears are red and they're like, we can't be laughing.

This is outrageous. And they were laughing at the whole family was laughing They needed that laugh they needed it. Yeah, that laugh was matters. Don't show up with a microtie Yeah, laughter is the best medicine. You're gonna find some to laugh at my condolences on a county of brothers That's actually my problem with most of Twitter different goes around all the serious shit is like we need some soft stuff That's what comics are there for yeah, when they're the. Everyone can be serious all day, all the time with this stuff. So much. Everybody's life is serious.

Fuck off. I think with Funeral too, like my grandma passed away then my uncle is really close to that. I didn't go to any of them. I don't want to see him like that. Oh really? Yeah, I'd rather remember him that like the way my memory has him.

My dad's a fancy guy. That's a fancy guy. Like healthy, I'd really get experiences with him. I'm like you see that they're dead cold and it's just weird and fucking sad environment. I don't wanna see that. My friends give us like a speech, you barely knew her. Yeah, I don't wanna beat it.

Dude, my friends mom, my friends turned up. You ever been to a black room? You ever been to a black funeral? My half and brain. We're loaded, but. Good, good. You just ask that and you don't need jokes with her in my head, but I'm like, oh, great, I'll get cancer.

It'll set me up like that. My buddy's mom died. What were you doing at the black market? My buddy went to high school and I was just kidding. One of my closest friends at corporate gay. Darrell's mom dies. She was in Harlem. I go to Harlem.

I go to Harlem. And I'd never been to a black church. I'm just like, I'm all ready to be sad, right? It shouldn in Harlem. I go to Harlem. I go to Harlem and I'd never been to a black shirt I'm just like I'm all ready to be sad right shouldn't be the first thing the Deacon says is he goes I'm the only white guy there From miles and the first thing the Deacon say goes now I believe her name it was item A He goes now I'm a wasn't a sad person now and everybody's like nah everybody's like and he goes so so this is a Celebration of a life not a morning of a life This is a celebration well they sang the whole fucking time and everybody was an amazing singer

I was literally like this is a fucking party. It was the great I got a brother brought a fucking right Yeah, right? Right, I bite them in the neck Let me tell you if I ever die right you guys have to go to my funeral you guys gonna my funeral I just want everyone to be sad, be very, very sad. Yeah, no, I want you for weeks. Uninconsole time.

That's what I want in my funeral. I want everyone to be like, we'll never hang out or have fun again now that dies dead. Yeah, happen this is not a chance. Now everyone just kill themselves in my funeral. Like, yeah, that's what I want. My father went his best friend's funeral. Everybody's gonna make me sad speeches.

My dad right there just goes like this. He goes, he goes, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, he goes, this is so annoying. He's finally being like, and everything's over. I'm so sad. He got so mad, he got up and he just went. He just did a whole fucking celebration of my mother's best friend.

And he was making people laugh. Yeah. I give a really good nice eulogy. I didn't remember what I said. I wrote it all down. Obviously it's been a while. Been a few years. And it was funny that this one lady after the thing,

she's shaking all my family's hand. And she goes, you know, that was the funniest and best eulogy I've ever heard. Also, I've never heard someone say the F word in an eulogy. Oh, yeah. He's also casual. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I'm in the comic. This is my fucking sister was the best, you know? I fucking love her man. Did you have trouble not crying to it? Or you just did the whole thing? I had a little frog in my throat, but I, yeah, I plowed through. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. Dark, yeah. But it was still like funny. I was like, I'm gonna get some laughs. Yeah. You got to get some laughs. I get to try this new material. I can't go bear in the bottom.

Yeah, you're basically doing a bit better. Oh, some people did bomb my sister's funeral. Yeah, some people do. Yeah, I do. It's a bad thing. Yeah, my other sister, she was like, she was like, don't come up to me and say, I'm sorry for your loss.

And I was like, this is people being nice. She was like lecturing, like, like she bombed the youth. Oh, no, for me, I'm way more likely to cry at a wedding than I am a funeral. I cried at weddings. I fucking, I was at a wedding this weekend, best weekend, my fucking father-in-law gets up

and starts talking about his daughter and starts crying. And I was like, I'm fucking, I don't know anybody at the wedding and I'm like, fucking wipe and tear. He's really, but he, no, I'm sorry, crying. Gay. I don't know, I don't think I've ever cried at a wedding. I want brothers I did but if I your brothers if I first of all if I don't know Thing unless you're giving out gold bar

Unless you're giving out gold Rolex so I'm not coming very embarrassing by the way, because I didn't know the guy. I didn't know any I knew Well, you shouldn't either right shouldn't be there well my girl. Yeah, good friends with I know the guy. I didn't know any, I knew what I knew. What I knew, right? You shouldn't be there. Well, my girl, it's good friends with, I know the couple. You want to figure it out. Yeah, it was a Malibu. It was a great wedding actually, but mostly Chicago people I didn't know.

And I'm like up there and I'm the guy. And I'm dude, I'm, and he starts telling me, he's trying to keep it together. I'm thinking about my daughter. Mm-hmm. Really? Did she get madty like, stop crying?

My girl makes fun of me. Yeah, she was stopped crying. I watched a Tyson documentary going last night. It was in my, and it was an old one I started crying. He was talking about his mother, how his mother died of cancer, I started crying. My girl makes fun of me. Yeah, she'll stop crying. I watched a Tyson documentary last night and it was an old one I started crying. He was talking about his mother. How his mother died of cancer. I started crying. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. That's not a wedding though. So Stephen Tyler, let me pee. Let me pee. But now I like this lady. If you look as like calf jokes are easy. Like there's a lot of memes about calves. There's some always posting about that and people think I'm actually. He's got small legs, Brock Lesnar.

Does he? Visually, I mean, maybe they're really strong. He's been like, but his calves were really small. Yeah, his calves are like tiny. I remember watching him when he was in UFC and I was like, those are not the best. But I kept,

I'm glad they're not, like, when you see white dudes with gigantic calves, you're like, is that fun to put jeans on? You know, you know, I mean, huge cat, He's got, oh yeah. You're for how big is? Oh shit. Yeah, he's, yeah.

I mean, for how giant is that? I've seen him in person, that's the first thing I thought. Does he not have much of a tailpiece? Flattie, I don't know. He's all chested. I don't think anybody in the ring has a jackass. He's just, he doesn't have the best. All right, just go to Kernavac.

I like it's pretty big, doesn't it? Fucking long tank. Maybe I'm wrong. I just remember seeing him go. It's pretty big doesn't it? Fucking mom's tank. Maybe I'm wrong. I just remember seeing it. I would he got the greatest thing of I've ever seen in my life. Here we go. Yeah, all right. We'll read it off yours. Okay, so Stephen Tyler claims that you spent six million dollars in his lifetime on cocaine in 1975 and the aerospace singer was 27. He shacked up with a 16-year-old groupie

oops that's how we're starting how the fuck back in the 70s people just say they're like normal it says that in 1935 when no smith singer was 2070 shacked with a 60s it was a 70s it wasn't a stediatry it was a groovy happening no here's the bad person all this. We can move the girl's mother sign of a guardian ship to him.

Hey, let me take care of it, gross. Yeah, the team became pregnant. Look, I was in touch with the headlight of this. I didn't know it was gonna go to this whole biography about how he- That's just like spent six million dollars in coke. Yeah, so I just thought that like, that fascinated my imagination

because you think about the things, how much coke that is first of all, and then what else you could have done with that money? But... Mathematically though, what does that work out to? Yeah, we'd have to, what is... Oh, that's sick. A lot of money.

You'd have to account for the adjusting price of cocaine over all that stuff. He's very famous, so, huh? Which I'm saying they're too. Why do you paint up cocaine? You paid for it or you did did it with six million worth. Hold on, the two brother, I go to say seven, but it'd be six million for Tyler,

went to rehab for his addictions. The first of the last nine times the singer has tried to get clean. He recently voluntary checked himself, rehab once again, he's still doing it. That is impressive. In his two, three, four auto biocrate, does the noise in my head bother you?

Tyler writes he'd be an obese in substance at age 16 He was so into drugs. He set his alarm clock at 4 a.m. To drop acid fall back asleep And then be tripping to ours later. We start his day wow commitment This is like this makes Johnny Boy scout decide to enjoy each other as you whip out a needle and you try shooting coke as you're getting blown And some beautiful girl and her girlfriend decide to enjoy each other as they whip out a needle and you try shooting coke as you're getting blown and some Beautiful girl and her girlfriend decided to enjoy each other as they whip out a needle and you try shooting coke as you're getting blown And the guys lived quite the life man. Yeah Look at that private jet made out of wood. He's it. That's how it is. It's a wood plane

Still one of the greats though. How about yeah, keep going. How about that? What else is on there? One of the greats though. How about boys? Oh yeah, keep going. What else is on there? What else is on there? Uh, kept things funny, wrote. The band crew would spell each other's persons name and chop up below and sniff it.

That sounds fun. Well, he had a daughter with Liv Tyler. No dude, no dude, come on. Be a, a be a, who's a be a, Jesus Christ, I'll tell you what's fun Tyler told the Guardian. Finding the right stewardess and turning her upside down in the back of the plane Guys a savage How come no one's canceling this guy?

Yeah, where are you gonna cancel rock star for being awesome take his house away? I mean looking at you such a galley guy. She is pretty. Yeah, he was a real gender fluid fellow, too, wasn't he? I mean yeah Wow, what an interesting looking keep going strange looking guy Gally Gally, he was pretty. Yeah, he was a real gender fluid fella too, wasn't he? Look at that. I mean, yeah. Wow, what an interesting looking guy. Keep going. It's a strange looking guy. John Belushi, told him what he called me in a cab,

was telling him I left star when the drive-ass was what they wanted to go, Belushi shot back cocaine. The two found studio 54. He was so addicted to blow that he couldn't even get himself straight to sing the star spangled banner or two on four Red Sox game. He's from Boston. I know that. We got a tie and tie.

I know. The words were melting like a candle wax against a blue sky. Well, wow. I don't know how the fuck you survived that shit. His heart must be like. Dude, he's just shoot heroin into his ass. Damn, bro. It's a painst bro so the veins don't work for him you don't hear about that a lot people shooting co-canned

like that's really like co-canned taking it to the next level huh? yeah fuck dude how do you do it? I still even tell there's things nationally at them is that I didn't say the red sauce

no that's not here I'm not here I'm not here no no no no you know you're just here I'm regular seeing we want the the

I think that's it 2004 that's gotta be it damn let me see he forgot the words No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That chair did start it with way I know Just I still got it Zelf it begs the different Bro it's not so bad right now. Yeah, you know the words. I don't know the words. Yeah Yeah All He's over the home And that's one mistake, but I'm not a big. He's still got it. Get through through the night.

He's making me think I can do it. I know. Okay, you can stop it, Jim. I was hoping for a complete chit-chat. Yeah, this is not what we did. Maybe that's not it. You can kill it. It's that same year though. But you know, we're messing up in the article,

or did it say that he's like, I think that's just highest shit. Yeah. I thought they made it sound like he was, he said the words were melting like a candle. And he said he's high. If he's on LSD, have you ever seen these videos of people

doing like stuff on LSD versus drunk? Sure haven't. That's where there is. You're remarking the word. That's the message. the message that I'll see that that's oh here we go that's what we're looking for uh I've seen the best what's exactly what we're looking to look at it let me see that's all there's a watch the last five for the ramparts we watched were so gallantly

streaming and the rocket struck as bombers as bombers Oh As bombers Joe Flackel's off get me out of here Where's he fuck up at I'm he messed up small things. That's it It's just you get clicks. What's the whole place is saying with him?

Oh Lakes Is that Johnny Dell Dickey I know now I think he missed that when he said like when he had the high note when you messed up like one little words Just hiding. No, it's voice crap. Have you seen the one where the little girls sings the national line that she forgets The words and the whole stadium starts turning on her And then the coach for the basketball team walks over to her and helps her. Yeah, I've seen that

Everyone's like teary eyed in a place that like that's what we should have done. Yeah, someone screws up. We should help them Yeah, you fucking assholes What else you don't even screw up so yeah, he didn't eat that much. I know there's an update on Dwayne Haskins the coach The the football player that walked into the freeway the highway. So he had Ketamine in a system and like to he blew two times for the alcohol thing one a two point a point two oh and then one point two four Chabers not one point, but one was one that was another one point two four is like over You know, I think point always the legal limit California yeah yeah some stuff in this system so what happened he walked out into the and you got hit by

they said a dump truck yeah yeah all right we've all saw this viral video by now oh yeah this is awesome let's watch this first then you're gonna love this this is Brendan Langley's watch this first, then. What's it on? You're gonna love this. This is Brendan Langley? A former NFL player? Bronco. Oh, what is a Bronco? Is that a NFL Bronco? Yeah, watch this.

You're loving it. He's in CFL right now, or maybe he's retired. All right, let's check it on. I'll tell you what's great about this. Yeah, he's in CFL. I'll see you watch. Oh, well, that guy hit him first, right? Yep.

Yep. The flight attendant hit him first, right? Yep, yep. The flight attendant hit him first. Yep. At least in this video. Boy, he's let, oh, look at us. Oh, he's down. Yeah. He goes, he wants more.

Oh, that's where I saw the video start. Yeah, same here. So never mind. Oh, oh, oh. And he gets a, and he, and he, and he, Oh, oh And he gets up and he did guy comes back for more. Yeah, and he goes he wants more This is the toughest guy in the world because he wants more. Oh my god. Look at this guy I saw this video started at a different point when I first watched. Well, but still the, the United employee still started the physical contact first. On the video, that's all we have.

There's no like, I wouldn't support that I read, but it seems like it did. It did start. It started at the beginning of that, like, again, just to see what was longer video. There's actually a longer video I want to see. I think so, Brian. I think this is the long video. So you see that, you see the employee hit him first like this. Like push him in the face. It's right in the beginning.

That's when it gets caught. It's right in the beginning. That's when that guy comes back. Come on. Look, look, look, right when he's making this. You see, you see, you hit him first. And then he slaps him. God, he got fucked.

Oh, that is crazy. His head movement was pretty good for some. Look at this goes south. Boom, boom. He keeps coming out. He's just fighting himself. Okay, here we go. He's coming out.

You never see. He's like, that's where he goes. Really? He was really? Boom. Boom. Yeah, he was walking away. He was grabbing his stuff.

God, dog. Look at that. Look like he opened his hands, slapped a couple of times. No, no, that was a fist Brian. I didn't see it. Oh yeah, let me see it again That was last tour punch Started it's like there's one stop that the Additional there's a slas and he slapped him back. Yeah, he slapped him back

Where his head fall back like that? Is it? That's a punch all right? a punch. That's a punch, that's a punch. That's a punch. That's a punch. That's a punch. That's a punch. That's a punch. Alright, you're right, you're right. That's a punch. And this is embarrassing part. You just put your hands right there.

That's a punch. Look at me. Of course it is, alright? Yeah. Looked like a slap. Hey, fight though. Well, he's not open hand slapped, but with that guy slapped him,

so maybe I was looking at that. When Brent tried normed the silhouette followed in harass, Brendan called him, but they're had to meet more. This is what you're saying. Alright, this is what you're saying. Oh, this is where yeah, but from the look of that guy was here's a problem and place to Began's win stupid prizes Like there has to be some rebukations like he got fine. What you got fucked up dude? You got fired, but then you lost your job bring a lane was arrested for a little while, but they let him go

He's also got a hell of a headache Brennan Lang was arrested for a little while but they let him go. He's also got a hell of a headache. That's what I'm going to punish. Oh, you can't, you can't. He's like, guys, you know, like, you think you can talk smack to NFL player, whatever, like, this bike you suck. It's like, do I, I'm six feet from you right now. Well, I would love to know what happened. I bet it was something about his flight, you know, he's a guy.

He didn't talk to anyone about the flight. He's frustrating. And he got all poppy. He's like, game man, you're going to get poppy and then they kind of went back. That's exactly what I think happened. I can't do that happen. Yeah, they do I'm trying to get on the set I was like, didn't you play in the NFL you fuck talk dude? Like I don't think that happened. That's what you go. That's what you got cut. Yeah, you knighted I played seven years in the NFL bro book my fucking first

Like dick it. You're working at you knight. We're in a vest Well, probably didn't even know that guy playing the NFLs Just some mouthy guy. Yeah, they're both mouth and off to each other I mean also you're working again. You're in your uniform and you're gonna go fight some guy So I'm gonna go inappropriate That was him going up and down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm corny.

Starting cornerback. So I'm kind of athletic. Did the guy make his flight or what? Did he get arrested? He got arrested, dude. You got arrested right there? Yeah, yeah. But the other guy got fired.

The other guy got fired. As he showed, you can't be fine like that at work. I can't fight people here. Did you get slapped? Did you get slapped? You got slapped in your face. This isn't Taco Bell. Yeah, this isn't Chick-fil-A, bro.

You can't watch a guy and then go back to the fryer. I know, yeah. Can I talk for a second? I can't, some head movement. Keep your hands up. I understand. Did you guys see this coming? Keno Oliver's in Ganonigolovkin 3.

It's confirmed that's coming out. It's now that Kenelo lost. I thought he was going to have to do a immediate rematch. But he lost a nice guy. all in a day let's do it and he was gonna refight this other that's what i thought to is a media rematch i think you're always like let's not do that yeah is canelo uh... done is it over no i don't know that guy follows amazing yeah guys that have a

is a little bit triple g yeah what will see true he's older he should know still in his prime yeah Yeah, it's a very tough. It's a little bit triple G. Yeah, well, we'll see. Two older. Yeah. He should. He's still on his prime, yeah. I wouldn't say prime. He's just, you know, it's tough. How was he? I don't know if you've seen the East Side Brendan.

Mark, when you see this, it's a bummer. He's placed on administrative leave from his high school job. He's been, I think since 2000. I know, yeah. So this is what I've heard. I don't know what the fucking team's East End. Yeah. Before you go into it, this is what I heard.

Two kids came up to him playing Go, hey man, we wanna box each other. And Mark goes, cool, get some boxing gloves and box each other. Well he didn't know, those kids were like, hey man, we hate each other. We wanna fight, let us fight, give us boxing gloves. They fought earlier, I heard,

and they wanted to fight with boxing gloves. Or they had, you know, gotten an altercation earlier, but they wanted to fight boxing gloves. So as Munoz, like, hold on, you guys have an issue, put on boxing, lives, and let's settle it. According to Munoz, he didn't know that was the case. It was just like what you said.

That's what I heard. I heard you said, yeah, I don't care. Go ahead. But either way, I think that's still fine, right? I do. I think it's still fine. I'm not sure in the show at the time. Yeah, I got back to the parents

and then, you know, one of the parents complained. No, they didn't fire, just administratively. We'll see what happens. Yeah. I don't think it would do. Like, it like, that's the weirdest thing about sports to me. It's like we created sports, maybe I don't know.

We created sports to be like kids, don't fight, get along, learn to cheer, and also one of the sports is fighting. That's right. That seems unusual. It's my favorite sport. You've told me Mark just dedicated his whole life to fucking

stuff. Oh, dude. One of the best people on earth. He's such a kind guy. Instead of getting to a street fight, he's there to watch. There's lots of things like that. Well, he's probably like, he's been sent in a fight at school. I mean, I'm not saying he's dead.

Not that I don't. But I'm saying, if let's say this was the case, if he's like, hey, set a fighting in the classroom. Let's do it in a place where we can control it. It's safe. Here's a base. Here's 16 ounce gloves. Do that and then be friends. Hug each other and go on.

No one's gonna get hurt. Is he your coach or your teammate? Both. Yeah. Wrestling, right? Yep, both. Great guy. All right.

Don't like kids like that, you know? This is just for Brennan pretty much. It's a new Nike drop from Travis Scott. Don't these look a lot like the ones I got? Oh no, they put those back in the side backwards. A little bit. I'd say they look a lot backwards. Just different color. Yeah, I would say.

A little bit. The nice little logos. Yeah, Travis Scott's the Nike loads those backwards. So the usual was come out months ago and then obviously had the issue at Astro World where people died. So he's done pretty good. I was told they were going to stop all collabs with Travis Scott, but it's cool they're dropping them now. Yeah. All right, just a couple more. This is just Vin Diesel. You know, he just posted. Yeah, the fun Instagram. I don't really follow. So, oh no. Yeah, I'll play this for you. For a live five weeks, I've been saying, did they land yet?

Did they land yet? Don't they know I'm in London? Don't they know they have to come up to see Daddy? I have something to say. All right. I'm grateful that now everyone's together and that's all that matters to me. You're the best. One of the best.

Basically, you know, the whole fast family, you know, you meet her, right? Like, oh, we're all back together with the whole fast family. So she's, I have something to say. We're all just like, we're all back together. I was like, why is that how he normally behaves? He's so weird. That's what's the best part about it. Yeah, he's the best fallen in.

He's high. He's, he's out of his mind. He's got a post. He's so weird. Lucas Berg, but just his face. That was it. That's the entire post so what what what is the Everybody's together Fast a fast family

Dude it's been a bad just sitting your five-year-older. I know I'm like Desi can make this video right halfway through. I want you go. Hey, I've something to say I'm glad the's back together. Okay. That was so cringey. I know, he's making his favorite. He's making his favorite. Yeah.

So, is the rock in it? No, absolutely not. They try getting the rock, he's like, the family's not complete without you and the rock's like, fuck off. I'm doing Jumanji seven. Yeah. And I don't want to play as barely a party.

I can't get along with the thing. No, they don't get along. Egos. I heard his own weird. Yeah, they don't get along. Egos. I heard he's a wolf. He's a wolf. I heard he's crazed. Yeah. It's pretty obvious.

So this one's just, I'm just going to show you this. Paulie and Yvanna, she's a UFC fighter. She fought over the weekend. She lost. But I just saw this press conference. And it just looks pretty crazy. Let's check it out. All right.

We're starting strong. That's how she showed up to the press conference. It, we're starting strong. That's how she showed up to the conference. It's starting strong. She's very attractive. With this girl fight. She fights, she lost though. Is she a lost in terms like that? To be fair too, that's also a venom thing.

Yeah. That's also a venom issued UFC top. Yeah. Okay, there we can buy that. You can buy that if you want. All the nerds at that press comes like I have a question He's fucking gorgeous, but she didn't get in mark on her face and she lost this is before the fight. Oh, I got you Yeah, I just thought I'll show you guys. She's gorgeous. I'm glad you showed us what's her rank? Yeah, what's her number? Yeah, what's her Instagram? Where does she live? There you go. Jeff. He should be in that. Yeah, what's her number? What's her? Yeah, what's her Instagram? Where does she live?

There you go. Jack, he should be in that. Yeah, Pauliana. Pauliana. She likes guys that have never been in a fight in their lives. Is that shows on a fight? She's like tough guys, I would say. Oh, God.

I don't know. You get to make me shill defend you. There you go. We go to a bar, go shut up, my girl, kill you. Yeah, walking down a dark alley, she's all give behind me, man. My word about it. She doesn't need strong, down dark alley. She's all good behind me. She doesn't need strong. She's strong

What does he got you that's pretty much it's there's one more if you guys want more It's the only round to the UFC. I mean their exceptions of course, but for the most part it was tough, right? No The majority don't come from yeah I was watching this earlier so this only fans creator not, not a creator of only fans, but she's on only fans. She said she had to sleep with people that worked at Mita, Facebook, and Instagram. No, she slept with them to get on their good scene. No, they weren't like, we'll give you your account back to your screen. She wanted that though.

She came onto them in hopes to get her good side. That's why she hooked up with them. Yeah. Well, why is she complaining about it? She's not complaining. She's just saying that she's just teaching on them. Yeah, but he's giving out a few times. She's giving, giving girls free games. Sounds like. Let's see what she says. It's pretty long though to oh, this is my boy Adam 22. Yeah, probably pretty. She looks a lot different there. I'm not sure. Instagram taken down like three or four times And the first time that I got my Instagram down or that I got it shut down, I, one of my friends, he works at Instagram,

he's a guy friend. And so I started sleeping with him to have him get my Instagram back. And yeah. I like your friend, like Fred Bajar's like this. I was like, oh, I'm gonna take it away. Yeah, and then I, I fucked up my bag. I did because I fucked it up with him

and did some toxic shit that Jade taught me. I was just fuck girling around with her. So he taught me how, like, what the review process is like, basically, when you get your Instagram account shut down and like which departments work on which things. So basically, you told me that the integrity department is the one that's up for reviews, right? So I went on his LinkedIn and I searched up all of his

Instagram connections and then I searched up the ones in the integrity department and then I messaged them on LinkedIn to like why is she sharing this? Back with people like they get all those like so many take her account. So they did again, they did a good job. And then I contacted them on Instagram through my like my backup but still slutty account. And I managed to find a couple not from that department They did a good and then I contacted them on Instagram through my like my backup

But still slutty account and I managed to find a couple not from that department But like still people that worked at Instagram in LA and everybody tag Mark Zuckerberg in the comments This is important for me shit She's a feminist I met him. So I found a couple to meet up with and it is a community is pretty small in LA. Which is not true. I feel like it's a master.

I was like, what the hell? Small. My podcast, all I had to do was basically reach out to them as KittyLixo and we met up and I fucked a couple of them and I was able to get my- What is she sharing all this food? I love her friend in the background The first time, basically, what if her friend looks trippy too? Keep putting in reviews and every time they put in another review it gets sent to a different person So as long as...

What podcast is this? No jumper, that's my guy Adam's going to do Yeah, so all the dude is like... Have someone really really like you and like rally for you and you'll get your account back Girlpower What's all about who you know, right? Yeah, it's all about what you do for them someone really really like you and like rally for you and you'll get your account back. Girl power. What's all about you? You know, right? What you do for them?

She goes and I had sex with this guy so I know him now. One was her friend, she said though. I mean, there you go. She started sleeping with it. But I guess her count gets taken down a lot so she just creates another one. She's got a lot of dick so I keep those. Yeah, you know, a catch is she's gone. And there's a I fucked a couple from that

Department and then she just so Now we know more about the IG review process that's actually really good. Yeah, so you just keep putting in the peeling You can know another person another person another person. Yeah, we did learn something from that Thank you Chen We get a learning Every day, okay. Thank you, Chen. You're welcome, girls. Thanks for being here. I'm speaking of learning, because I get out of this. Speaking of learning, I will come learn out of laugh in Portland. Okay.

That is June 9th through 11th. That is Heli in Portland. Nice. June 9th through 11th. San Francisco Cubs is June 17th through 18th. The trash band of Summer Torre continues. San Diego, July 21st through the 23rd. And then just added Baltimore, August 4th through the 6th, but also in, I think,

July is a new club in Fort Wayne, Indiana. That's for Mount Clubs board. For Indiana. The creators of a Tacoma Comic Club in Bricktown. Adam Rowe is. Yep, club. Yeah, I'll be at the West Palm Beach improv, this Friday Saturday, Sunday, and then I got,

be told why there's no fun kid on Monday. I'll be in, I'll be traveling. Flying back, yep. But that's all we're gonna do on Tuesday. And then Rich, remember, Janie, funny bone, you're up June 3rd and 4th. Omaha, Nebraska, funny bone, June 10 and 11th.

And then Ontario, improv, I'll see you June 30th, July 1, July 2, and Ontario, Ontario, California not Canada but California Nice I got Where it's Jefferson? It's it's coming up. You'll see you'll see Jeff guy go to calendar calendar left. I should know these But I don't have a memory Colorado comedy works. It's gonna be good June 2 June 4th 4th. Then San Diego, I got a Mike drop comedy club July 20th, 23rd. August 5th, 6th, Tampa Florida, sidesplitters, Austin, that's a private thing.

And then I got Scottsdale, Arizona, September 17th. Actually don't come to that. What are we doing? I'm doing CB Live in Arizona coming up soon. Oh, perfect. That's a great idea. Alright, kids, love you Jeff. We love you. Good luck. Thanks's your back dude. Yeah, we'll have some fun tonight the improv. Yes, sir It's all out kiddos. All right. Love you guys. This fun kid. We're out