The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 808: Jeff Dye - The Last American Bro

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

Comedian Jeff dye joins the guys to talk body positivity in baseball, whether nascar drivers are athletes, which celebrities make them the most starstruck, their favorite Love on The Spectrum moments, what age LeBron could have beat them as adults in every sport, and how the recent string of news stories about felines eating humans proves Brendan’s point that cats are sociopaths. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the fighter and the kid Hide the running back Cause we back at it again Yeah, we gon' keep it moving like it's never gonna end When it was brinning, when it was brighting When it was just talkin' to friends We got the kid callin' on the left With the fighter on the right

Hey, had to do it right Cause we comin' at you live Back with the team I'd be keepin' OG My CTV Yes, we did Cause we back at it again It's the fighter and the kid It's the fighter on the kid we're out

Jeff die ladies and gentlemen on a bad Friday. Thanks for having me back boys M.O.B. He's fine I love it here. That's why I'm holding this Mr. First pitch. Yeah, I'm excited Yeah, you said I'm fast you bitch. Jeff. What's here if we were to clock your pitch? Oh, I can throw a prize When we're talking fastball not a curve curveball, not a knockout. At least, at least 55. Well, now daddy threw 63 or something and that was the fastest I could do. Really? Yeah, that's recently. I bet I could slave, if I warmed up and stuff. I think I could hit 60. He's easy. Yeah. I'm free. I think I'm so better than I could. Well, when I throw the first pitchers, I'm not trying to throw it as fast as I can. No, that's where people mess up. Yeah, and so, try to get it in there.

It always gets about there. Have you had any of them go just awful like 50 cent or Conor McGregor? One time. But one time I was at, it was a minor league game. I was throwing it for the St., the Salt Lake City B's. That's where you want to mess up. Exactly. And I go out there, nobody cares.

They go, I'm dribbled, all right. And there's like two other people going to throw a first pitch. One's like a little girl. And so I throw it, I hold on to it too long So try to really whip it in there and it just hit off the dirt Yeah, I'm over the you know thing everyone booed me there and I'm I'm such a people please or I'm like well like why'd you boom you know more so the little girl throws a pitch

You know she throws it you know as well fitted out of her mouth it went like five feet and so as a goof I go you didn't boo her I start yelling at the crowd and then they're all looking like this and then her dad's looking to be like one like Joe false Watch the pitch and botched a joke, but I think those major league parks Do you get a warm up like the day before anything some some people realize it's it's a mount so the mounts are higher. Yeah people really bitching down like helps Yes, I was with Kevin Bay He wanted me to stand there and do some batting practice with these like Dominican starters these guys who were just like one guy six seven

Dominican starters. I know I know He's six seven is a guy is a professional starters. I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know but he's six seven colors. Yes, I was with these colored fellers. They're like base baby. And it's an Asian starters. They can throw that. They can throw but he's an Asian and a swaling catchers over there with the big. But he was totally throws a hundred miles now and I and I go um he said I want you to see what that's like. And I go, I'm not going to stand there. Because I'm afraid of that.

I'm afraid of getting hit. And he said, he'll never hit you. That's how accurate they are. And I was like, until he does though, right? And then he does. And that situation he won't, but, but, he also, I'm just saying never. But, but, but, yeah.

Sometimes I hit he goes. Yeah, I'm not a mouse. You're not hitting that one. You're not hitting the one junk like it's out of control never When the yet trying to throw a judge it got it so if you're throwing like a fastball on it's almost like I know Both you guys also don't need to do it though right how much to just get drilled how much I'll take your let you let you let you just wait, but just for my buddies were on my own TV like if I'm not Jackets. I'll let you let you let you just wait, but just for my buddies or my on TV like if I'm I'm gonna film it and I'm gonna come to me You're fine, dude. You got all that muscle. Yeah, you'll be good. I don't know. I would not be

Hitching but you're bigger than most major league baseball players. I feel like they hit all the time I'm average little yeah, they're huge They're like you're in judge you're're seeing your name's the biggest baseball player. Besides pitch. No, but a lot of them are very big. They're two, three, two, three. They're two, three. They're Korean chin for the angels.

Kurt Suzuki. No. No, Josh. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got.

Yeah, but these guys, baseball players come in all shapes and size. That's one of my favorite things about baseball. You'll see fat guys. You see little guys, tall guys. But all of them are over 200 though. I mean, maybe because they're grown, man. But I'm saying this is not the body type of an average baseball player.

You're like, you're a lot stronger than these guys. Yeah, I'm like, you Jeff Bagwell. You're big in the baggy. Not his quads and ass. I don't know. Dude, juicy Jeff Bagwell. But you bring that up, and juicy Bagwell.

I love it. Mark's built like Mark McQuire. Jeff Bagwell. How is Mark's built like marble glass Jeff bagel Mark is the size of Mark and why My biggest I could be He was too 70 there huge At least you guys are really scared of cars. Yeah That's me mark right there. Those are big boys. Look at that one with this squat a fourth in the middle row that one

That is look at those that's Jeff bag That's a big boy. I remember I'm bigger than him. I remember we wait all right. I know I'm stronger But a lot of these guys are six four and a lot of them are they're not not a lot They're not so I stood other not so hold on hold on hold I stood out on a size and weight of MLB player. It's not 644 No, it's not that's not the average but I stood in the the average, but I stood in the lineup with the Yankees. I could not fucking believe how big they were. They were all, they were all huge.

And I'm talking about a lot more, your size, a lot. So average player's 6 to 207 pounds. That's big. That's big. 6 to 207. That's average, that's average. Meaning it is not uncommon to see 6 to 40. I don't know why I even care so much about this.

I'm so passionate about it. But like, there's a ton of fat guys. Yeah, there's a lot out of shape guys. A lot of fat. That's what's great about baseball. Yeah, that's what's cool about it. They don't have to. Oh, yeah. Pitchers that just sling it or like they're like chubby hitters. It's the only sport we see fat guys.

Yeah, it's great. You'll see small guys, skinny guys. The pictures are the tallest. That's where that height is coming from. The picture comes out of it. Pitchers are like 6'7', 6'10'. Right, yes. There's a 7' picture right now. The picture was so big. So like 6'7, 6'10. Right, yes. There's a 7 foot picture right now.

Why? Yeah, like the 6'6 is like pretty standard for pitching, aren't they? Because the angle that coming down now, this is great. That Prince Field, this is pretty old. That's a large man right there. This is 12 years ago. But also think about like, was it a 2v for the- Hostel 2v, a tiny.

You ever seen him? No, no. He's tiny. Actually, I know we're making you guys Google loves it. You'd be big, poppy or tease. How's the Google tease doing in Google? wholesale two-way next to Aaron Judge, because there's a ton of photos of them at second base together.

Watch this next to Aaron Judge. We'll just Aaron Judge, wholesale two-way, and come right on. Really? Hits. Check this out. Oh, look at that picture. That's real.

So he was MVP at the bottom. Because he's the shortest guy in the league next to the tallest guy. What? What? That's real. That's real. That's real. Yeah, so he was MVP at the bottom because he's the shortest guy in the league next to the tallest guy I know what that's real. That's real That's real Like the size of like a little boy The size of a jockey but he's one of the easily the best second basement probably one of the best players in baseball He's tiny that's crazy and Aaron judges a monster. No, it's weird about baseballs. I was at I was at hobby's in Newport and Mike Trapp came in there.

Oh nice. And my girl like he was just by himself, not that thing. No, and he came in and I was like, in my head I clapped and like, that's fucking Mike Trapp. My girl's like, who's that? Well, and at the time this is like four years ago, I'm like, well, he is the best baseball player on earth.

Yeah. And she's like, that guy, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. And she's like, that guy might know. Yeah. And nobody knows him like, that's baseball. Yeah. And unless you're like, man, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? I'm not sure. Even a bunch of dudes, like we talked about before,

like we know, like nobody, no pictures, nothing. This isn't a Orange County. Like no one gave a fuck, dude. You know what's funny about me, too, is like, you know how people want to go like, I don't care about celebrities, I don't get Starstruck. I genuinely don't accept when it comes to pro athletes. Really?

Oh man, if you put me in the same room with like Mike Trud, I would be just like asking them all these questions. I'm like, I love it. I'm like, I can believe that. Mike's comics, like when I saw, oh, fucking, what's his name? Great fucking comic, monster, David Tell. When I weird stand at the same hotel,

and he was out there and I saw him smoking a cigarette and I was like so nervous. And I was all, this is what I said only up. You, you waiting for a new bird too? He's all, what? That's all I'm, I'm waiting for a new bird. And he's like, okay, I was like, have a good day. I'm so nervous.

He does a son. Anoyed him. Yeah. He's like, why is this giant guy talking to me? Yeah, I bet I've been cool to you. You live the pro athlete things. I've seen you around pro athletes and I I don't really like what I'm doing. You know what I mean?

I mean, I love it. But I only like to be full of things. Anything there's a mystery too? If there's a mystery, like I said next to it, I remember this guy, he recognized me on the plane. And he's asking me questions, right? He's like, he goes, hey, I started body, I'm just a fan, and he's always been fascinated with comedy,

and he's asking me questions. And he goes, and then he goes, sorry, you know how they do? They go, I'm sorry, I'm just a fan, and it's just always been fascinating with comedy, and he's asking me questions, and he goes, and then he goes, sorry, you know how they did, they go, I'm sorry I asked all they thought I wanted a body, and I go, dude, I got it, forget it. I mean, if you were a brain surgeon, I'd probably be asking you a thousand questions, and he goes, I am a brain surgeon. And he goes here, and he had,

he was on his way to a conference show, and all the things he was working on, dude, he couldn't have gotten away from me faster. I was like, and another question I got about the brand. Well, you know what's what I said behind Christian Yellich? He's a really handsome kid, a place for the Brewers. He's playing a mom. Yeah, he's really, he used to play for the Miami Monks.

Handsome kid, you know, he's really good. He looks very young, but he's a really good player. Play for the USA team, he's awesome. I said behind him on an airplane. And so when you're directly behind someone, if they're looking at their phone, it's like. It looks like Schwarzenegger's son. It's like you're looking at. It's like you're looking at their phone, it's like, it's like your looking at it.

It's like your looking at it. Yeah, because I'm right between the two. I'll tell you right now. If you're on a plane and you're on your phone, I'm looking at it. I'm looking for sure. I've read some shit. I'm going to Instagram DMs and he goes to the message request

and it's just broad city. I mean, there's just so many girls in there. And he's just going, how's this guy's got in there? Well, you know what I was doing? I realized somebody was doing that to me. I was looking up, I typed in black studs or something like that,

because I was sending black dudes, so I was like, pictures too. I was, I'm gonna throw it to Liam's black story guys. And yeah, they were just talking about stuff and I just sent them, like I was like, happy Monday guys and I sent them this,

fucking really good black guy. And so on, so I was sending, I was, I googled a bunch of it. Brian Googled our blacks allowed in restaurants. Yeah, old shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Mike, Mike, are they allowed in the front of the plane? Yeah, he's using the front.

Mike's a next-of-the-large. So, Larry's this legal. Mike, fiance, my fiance also like dated black dudes, like athletes in college. So, I never let her use it. Oh, Ray, look, I rod thee, hey, hey, hold on, dude. Don't go there. I said, I don't race.

It's a mean meme. I would send her picture of a guy like that. Like a really good looking dude was her. I go, I go, I'm saying next to this guy and he likes to swing. Gurg, she's like, you're such a guy. Like, goddamn it. So she's like, got black guys. Is she cool about her?

Does she get annoyed with that? She's the best. She's the fucking best. But So she's like that black guy. Is she cool about her or she just get annoyed with that? She's the best. She's the fucking best. But I literally do that to different people, but I realized that the guy behind me was looking, I could see, you know, there's a cover you can put over your phone where it's a blurry unless you're there.

I need that, I need that. I need that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm snooving like, geese. You're snooving like, oh, I hope you think that. Well, what's the best thing you've seen then?

Because I mean, I always think like they can look at whatever I'm looking at. They might see some nudes or something that a girl sent me. But other than that, what is black cock? If I'm in my case, that's a pretty bad thing. That's got me weird. What do you learn to see it on other people's phones

that was worth, you know? I live it stupid. Also, like when you're on a plane and someone's filming the take off, I wanna go, don't do that. Yeah, I don't. That's how I live. If the young person will, hey, don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I like it.

If the young person will, hey, don't do that. That's serious, right? Like nobody wants to see that, right? You're not gonna rewatch this. Well, I was, but I was on a plane, it took off. But if you had a zoo and there's like someone just taking pictures of you, I'm gonna go, hey. Same, but same thing, I was on the safari.

Like in Google, don't post that. I'm on a safari in Africa, and everybody's taking pictures of the Cheetah, I go for it. I go for it. But still, even then, I'm like, there are much better pictures of a Cheetah lying in the dirt right now.

I know that you were there and you want to get a Cheetah, but it's just a Cheetah in the dirt you're never actually going to look at it. If I'm petting a Cheetah, if a Cheetah's jumping on me, now we got a different store if it's attacking something. You feel me like, look at this Cheetah, eat this gazelle, dick first.

That didn't feel that for us. Well, what if, what if later in life you like, look at this cheetah, eat this gazelle dick first. That's what you feel that for. Well, what if, what if later in life you go, I saw a cheetah in the wild, people go, people go, you shit, you can just go,

oh, well, me and my girl went to this Dr. yesterday and the IVF, you know, to, if we wanna have a girl, so we're trying to make sure it's a girl. And this doctor,

we sit down and it's an avenue, neither so I'm starving. And he's talking like, he's getting real detailed And I kept trying to come up for you. No, I understand that so as far as the cost just so we can jump to that thing My girl hits me like this. I'm like okay, and then he's like so with the embryo and you take thing I know I know that and the sperm goes in so here's the thing What are the the just give me the percentage then the price and then we'll get this thing rolling right and he's like

I just want a girl he keeps power and three is like right so the thing and I we'll get this thing rolling, right? And he's like, I just want a girl. He keeps powering through. He's like, right, so the thing, and I was like, oh my God, halfway through on it. Well, I'm gonna leave now. My girl, you show root on it. I gotta go, right? Cause I got this and I know how embryos and babies work. And I got this, so let me know the price

and I'm gonna get the fuck out of it. Dude, she was like, you're the root of this person who were on it. I'm not though, I'm a fish shit. So just tell me the price. We'll take care of it, right? And we'll get out of here. But also, why isn't he picking up on the fact that you don't want to hear all that?

Because he was seven. He's a root. He was 70. And he's lonely and wants somebody to talk. Yeah, and he feels important when he talks his doctor, talk. Oh, dude. And he was like, you know, the chromosomes. And so there's 40.

And I was like, yeah. My ex, when she was pregnant, our guy now was a guy I was like, yeah. My ex, my ex when she was pregnant, our guy know was a guy who was probably like us, who was like, all right, let's just get this, you know. And so he goes questions, questions, he's, you know, he, these guys do this all the time. And you know you're gonna have questions from people at first time, you know, they don't know.

And I remember my ex goes, I have a craving for beer. I don't know what it is, I don't like beer usually, but I have a craving for beer. I don't know what it is, I don't like beer usually, but I have a craving for beer. Why? And he goes, probably the carbs. More questions? She goes, she had a follow-up question about the beer.

And he goes, yep, probably the carbs I could tell. He was like, he was like, why am I having a craving? He was like, he was like, you know, that's far away, Sarah, probably the carbs. Yeah, get me the fuck out. Everyone's question. She was just like, why was like, you know, it's that far away, Sarah probably. Carbs, yeah. Get me the fuck at him. That was a question. She was just like, what are we going to do? Why does anyone have cravings?

It's a, what do you know, OB, G, Y, and or whatever. Yes. I'm not lying, my girl loves this guy because he's laddin' and he's, I'm not lying. He's out, he's 91. And he can't, he's still working at 91. But he, he's seen every vagina in the world. Any problem that happens, he's seen it.

So that's what you want. So she feels comfortable with him. But he can't hear me wrong. Wait, he's seen it. So that's what you want. So she feels comfortable with them, but he can't hear it. Well, he's also not gonna perv on her too. No, not at all. He's not. He's just trying to stay alive here, exactly. So I tell my girl, I'm like,

you really think it's the best choice? Like, you could die at any second. Then we have to restart this process, but he can't hear very well. So when we go in there, I'll just stay stuff like, seeing a bunch of big decks lately, and he'll be like,

what'd you say? I'm like, you see big decks like it, and he's like, I'm sorry, one more stay stuff like, seeing a bunch of big decks lately. And he'll be like, what'd you say? I'm like, you see big decks like, and he's, I'm sorry, one more time, like, I've been busy lately. I'll just keep throwing it, you know? That's very vagina lately. And he'll be like, I'm sorry, one more time. I'm like, airy vaginas, like real slow. My girl's like, well, you're the worst person on earth.

I'm like, no, I'm so bored. I'm trying to have some. I've got to shake it up too. I've got to shake that shit up. Don't you wish you were autistic? Hey, B, now, when you're on the road doing all this traveling, then you gotta get your greens and then- I need nutrition, I'm so bored. I'm trying to have some. I've got to shake it up too. I've got to shake that shit up. Don't you wish you were autistic? Hey, B. Now, when you're on the road doing all this traveling, man, you gotta get your greens

and dude. I need nutrition, but I need to. But where do I get? Let me ask you a question. Where do I get a probiotic? Where do I get a prebiotic? Where do I get a vitamin? I want 75.

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I'm like, no, I'm so bored. I'm trying to have some. I've got to shake it up too. I've got to shake that shit up. Don't you wish you were autistic? We seem to show love on the spectrum. Yeah, one of my favorites. Have you watched the Australia one?

The first one? Yeah, watch that. And I'm watching the new one. I didn't know they made American version. Dude, let's make friends with the old guy on there. It is. He seems so fun. I like James too. Like James seems super. Is that the guy who made evil times?

Yeah, I mean, he's insane. Dude, the heavy set like Indian guy, this is what made me think of it. His mom is giving this beautiful speech where she's like, he, they said that he would never graduate from school, they said that he would never graduate from school, they said that he couldn't go to college. You've done all these things,

and in the middle of her speech for his birthday, he goes, when are you gonna be done talking? He's the best. Hey, so I'm trying to be the... I wish I could. I'm trying to be the... He looks like typing villain in the movie,

spawn, look at him. He is the best. Spawn on. He goes, when he when it is what it is This is my gift as a comp. He is spawn villain Played by your boy John whatever oh that guy. No there is oh my gosh. I've never seen yeah It's pretty good. That's what's up. Yeah, dude. That was in 1992

Deep Paul that's him that's it. That's up? Dude, that was in 1992. Deep Paul. That's him. That's a deep Paul back. How weird is that? My brain was like that stuff. That weird. Identical dude. Look at him. Same no, same teeth, same shape of the head.

Same expression too. Yeah, he has that. He should consider that for Halloween. But him and the girl hit it. What I love about love about love about love about love on the spectrum is it goes zero to a hundred. They will go on a date and then Louis be like, you wanna be my girlfriend?

Yeah, I love you. I love you, I love you too. We should get married, let's get married. Within 40 minutes, it's no way. They're very, very, very, very, I've got to break up with James and you're like, what, you said I love you to him, and you're never getting another one.

I'm like, no, no. Yeah, you know, a lot of times high function autistics have one part missing, so there's no lead up. There's just like, they look at you and they go, who are you? You're pretty. And that's it, you know? But that's why this show is so great

because you realize like the honesty, like we could all learn from, like the honesty that they have, like especially if there's not a match, like the guy you like the medieval times, okay? He goes, he's great. He goes with another autistic girl and they go to this medieval times thing.

And he's like, you know, they're doing the fake battles and he thinks it's real. He's like, come on, retting, retting, no! Like the guy, daughter of your country! And even she's all, she's like, is this dude on the spectrum? Yeah, it's like, yeah, bitch, sorry you all are. So they get done and he's just, you know, he's too much, like, is this dude on the spectrum? Yeah, bitch, sorry you all are. So they get done and he's just too much. And she goes, you know what, I think we're better friends.

And you tell, he's like, but there's no bullshit. There's no like lead on, like no bullshit. Also, if you went on one bad date, right? Like let's say you went on a date, you're not feeling the girl. You would just, that would be that, right? They'll call each other after like one bad day and be like, yeah, I don't think that we're a good match.

I can't see you anymore. Nothing, not sad. And it's like, nothing open. You wouldn't have to do that after a bad day. You would just not talk to them. You know, you know, you didn't like it either. I don't watch it because it makes me sad. No, no, you're wrong.

You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong. You're gonna watch it and it's inspiring. Did they find, did they find a lot of them, dude? A lot of them find love. And then also you see them like lonely for their whole life though mostly. So hey, there's this guy on there who's like 61, whatever. He's never had sex, never had a girlfriend.

I want, when I reschedule my date in San Francisco, sorry, canceled, when I reschedule, hopefully he's okay with the grand there. But when I reschedule, I just wanna reach out to him, like, dude, let's have coffee. Yeah, that's awesome. He's so genuine and nice He's never had a girlfriend and my problem is they set him up on that date that girl shows up with purple here

I know Mexican girl like come on You know my man's not in two things. Oh, right away. He's like oh Your hair is because again, they're very honest. Yeah, you're here is interesting He had a picture in his mind that he saw in the surprise. And he's deceived. He got a cap for him by the hair. So his dates are fine. But what I was gonna say about the, yeah, he's good. It takes him down the fish and it's war if they go on boats,

fishing. Wow. And it'll be like, do you like tar, she's like, yeah, it takes the best tar place. And then she's like, we should do this again. Oh, problem. She goes, we should do this again, he'll go, I'll look at my schedule and I will let you know,

but you know, I'm very busy. I can tell exactly what the problem is. The problem is that because it is such a spectrum, autism, nobody wants to be with someone farther down the cognitive ladder. Does that make sense? Well, that's so common. So I probably wouldn't ideally want to date someone

on the spectrum, right? That sounds rude, but I probably wouldn't. I want someone that's more like at my level of understanding or whatever. Depends. And then so they're the same. They'll be on the spectrum, right? That sounds rude, but I probably wouldn't. I want someone that's more like at my level of understanding or whatever. Depends. And then so they're the same. They'll be on the spectrum, but they don't want somebody who's like, you know, down syndrome, like far. So it's hard to match. I dated somebody I think who was on the spectrum and I couldn't figure out what the, you know, yeah, like I couldn't figure out why she was not. She was trying to say she was an actress. And then she said I worked with such and such, I worked with such and such.

She was so hot. And I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on. I couldn't figure it out. She was so hot. We could make it. I was like, why is she not scooped up? Why does she have food all of her face? Right.

She eats. Why does her makeup like the Joker? Right. It's just fucking. Why does she have her bra on the outside of her sweater? You know what she said to me? Can't pick it up. You know what she said to me?

She said, I knew something was up, we were on a date, and we had fooled around. Well, we had sex, she was like, you know, everything was good. I couldn't figure out, and she goes, we're eating dinner, and she goes, I said, I gotta get some plants. She has to get plants.

Listen to this, I said, I wanna get some plants, and I've never got to say, I wanna get some plants. You said to get plants. Listen to this, I said, I wanna get some plants and never got to say I wanna get some plants. You said, I wanna get plants? For my apartment, I'm thinking about getting, I said, I'm gonna go buy some plants. And you rarely spurt that out. She said, you're gonna buy plants, I go, yeah, and I want a dog.

And you know what she said? Are you a respected? She said, I am on the spectrum. She goes, I'm getting a retard again. She's like, this guy's retarded. I want plants in a dog. She's all. So get it, bitch.

We finish having sex first. That's the guy's sex. I'm sucking your dick. What do you log. She's all. So get it, bitch. We finished having sex for the first time. Yes, I said, I'm sucking your dick. What do you want? Why do you want a fucking quack? That's how I say that when I come. I want plants in a dog. And it's an regorage. I was like, even those two things shouldn't be in the same sense.

You know what you said? No, this is where I knew something was off. I just disdoned them. I mean, something's a lot easier. I just remembered this after 27 years. She said, get a, she She said, get a fake one. And I said, what? She goes, get a fake dog and get fake plants.

That way you don't have to water them, you don't have to walk it. But it's a fake ad. Dead serious. Dead serious. And that's where you were like, I think she's like, yeah, but that's when I went to meals. To me, I was like, oh, she's a genius.

I thought she was joking. And then I found out she said she worked with Morgan Freeman and all these people. She was an extra and you saw in one movie, I'm not joking, you saw just her like her. Well, that dress. But she did. She worked with them.

She did, she did. But that's also cherries of them in the same way a fake plant works with Morgan Freeman. Yes, that's missing something. I don't know, dude. Oh, it is. I got a fake dog. You're just misleading.

I would, yeah, if it's saying that you were a girl. No, I'm more concerned that you have your gist together. And you were like, I wanna play it in a dog. I was young and I was like, oh, why don't you make my apartment cool? Yeah, in your own story, you made yourself the autistic guy. I said to the one on the spectrum. But no, you said I went like this.

I wanna play with a dog. Well, I figured she was like, I can't decide. Should I get the scallops or steak y'all? Oh, I'm playing with a dog. She's all, I can't decide. Should I get the scallops or steak y'all? Oh, I'm quite an adult. She's all, I didn't say it. She's all you have to experience. She's all you have to experience. She's all you have to experience.

She's all you have to experience. She's all you have to experience. I know. She's all you have to experience. But don't see that show. I think a lot of people might not watch it because like, oh, it's gonna make me sad. No, no.

Also, kind of make sure that if you're a parent and you see the mom mom once the girl finds love She's crying. She's like, oh my god. Somebody actually loves my daughter. Yeah, that's a connect that's kind of a hard I was gonna say the secret that show is the parents relationship. Yes when they talk about their kid and like what the journey that there's there's Son or daughters been through that's when I get to ride everything You don't want to see a kind of a loan. You don't know but no, they don't mind them alone They just are there's so much risk with a relationship relationship. Oh, now my son can get his heart broken. Now my son's gonna have this expectation of a first date. Well, what's the guy that you like, what's his name?

James? James from this season. You like Michael from the Australian version. That's dinosaurs. What's up, dog? I'd love to. I can't take people's feelings being heard. But where is he?

He's having a eating alone, and you feel terrible before the eyes of the guy. You want to cry? And they think, yeah, I do it every day. They're all, do you have CTM, like I do, but he's having a eating alone and you feel terrible before the eyes of dad. You want to cry? And they think, yeah, I do it every day. Yeah. They're all, do you have CT? I'm like, I do, but listen, I don't have a lot of time left. I do, but.

That's a, I don't have a lot of time left. Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Timmore, the actor said he said there's a guy in Newark City who is sitting alone. And you know, as an actor, you're supposed to talk to the taxi drivers, sit, sit with people, talk to strangers, pick up on characters. And he's still the guy and he's like doing a stting, and he starts talking to him, and he says, is that good? And he goes, yes, I ate it every day here.

He said, oh, good. He said, they're talking and stuff. And he said, I'm an actor. He goes, oh, you're an actor. Wonderful. That's really amazing. What are you doing? I do some theater and I'm doing a TV show.

Oh, wow, it's amazing. And the guy, and he said, he's in the temper, he goes, what are you doing? He goes, oh Oh nothing right now, but I plan on killing the president My god just keep eating is like what the fuck oh this guy I'm gonna steal that line Yeah, that's a layer, but I plan on that's hilarious Do I I eat by myself last night at this taco place by the laugh acted it was buzzing It has like like pink hot like neon signs up. You know what I'm up. It was buzzing. It has like pink hot like neon signs. You know what I'm talking about? I was starving. I got done. I thought I was

gonna do another big taco. No, not there. It's right by kind of the improv vector off right there anyway. But it was back like a young kid like it was a scene. I was like I love their tacos because I can eat just the meat. The dude just the meat. So I went there, I sat by myself, and these guys noticed me, and they're like, oh, shop, what's up, I'm like, what's up, man? And they're like, oh, you were at the left,

I'm like, yeah, thanks. And they're like, you're eating by yourself? I was like, yep, yep. And it was packed. But it was packed. Yeah. I'm just stared by myself. Yeah, but I don't think that's as bad.

I'm like, I look like a psychopath. No, you don't. People eat alone all the time. I prefer. I go to a bar alone sometimes. Just watch the game. That's a little weird. So I just watch the game, get some food. No, you don't. No. People get alone all the time. I prefer. I go to a bar alone sometimes. Just watch the game. That's a little weird. So I just watch the game, get some food.

Yeah, sure. Chad to the bartender, whoever's next to me. This is Jeff. Jeff is the last American bro. That should be your next question. Last American bro. Last American bro. I'm called American bro.

I'm the last bro. Yeah. Last bro bender. Bro bender. Dude, last bro bender. There you go. Yeah, I got you dude. because we went to Lakers game It's do drive that you know driving back. It's I don't know 11 o'clock in the night and Jeff goes so what now

What do you mean what now he goes you want to go to bar somebody my house? I'm absolutely not well I have kids I was like now you'll be up to like five dude I'll just drop you off and he goes oh don't drop me at home. Can you drop me at the bar? I was like what are you gonna do? He's like, I have some stuff. Home is lonely, dude. I get it. Home is lonely. You just, you just,

you just drop the bar. Drop the bar, you're gonna get two beers, chills. Do you have to, when you meet, when you get a girl, no, I was like, I love this. I mean, this is so, I would never do that.

When you did a girl though, is the, do you have any girlfriend friends, or is it hard to connect in that sense? Yeah, I mean, a lot of female comics, which is shocking, because they always are at war with me, but when they're not on stage, I love them.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but like, yeah, like, I have a lot of girls that I know that are like bros. Yeah. Yeah, really? Yeah.

They got cocks and beards. I don't know if they got cocks. Yeah. I hope not. Dude, how old are you Jeff? 39. And do you stress out about like getting a girl like selling down your car?

You'd be such a good dad. Yeah, I would love to. I'm obsessed with kids and like also like it'd be fun. Such a good dad. Yeah. Just the, I think when you stress about it is like, I don't know, like I just don't, I don't think about it much.

Do you want that? I did for a while. Yeah, I did for like a year. I was like, man, I lost her. I like, I don't know, like I just don't, I don't think about it much. I did for a while. Yeah, I did for like a year. I was like, man, I lost her. I got, I'm gonna figure this out. And now I'm like, Do you want to figure it out with her? Well, that's the thing. Yeah, I wanted to do with that person.

But now that's not gonna happen. I'm back to not caring anymore. And you're just back to you. Not worried about it. It's gonna happen to happen. Yeah. I don't think you have a problem getting girls. Yeah.

Yeah, but see that, but that's a pitfall because there's that you have all the, you know, options in the world. And at some point, you're going to want to hang on to one of those options, have kiddos. Yeah, but I've only met one and all the girls I've ever met that I go, oh, we'll do it with this one. That's bad. So you and I are like the kind of guys like, if you put me out there again, I would date, date, date, and then I'd find one that would, I'd be like, oh, daddy falls in love I'd find one that would, I'd be like, my father. Oh, daddy falls in love, dude.

That's easy. Me too. Really? How many times have you been in love? 50,000? I love everybody. What about you, Kyle? Yeah, same thing.

Like, I'll date and I raise a storm and then I'll just find that one girl gets on my skin. And I'll just be like, fuck, man. Like, like, my girl now, my, my fiancee. And I'll give him the world. Like, you name it. I take it for our, 100%. Here's money. I remember when it happened with Joe, I got a text from him.

And he's doing this thing and he just goes, like, I knew something was up because when she came to my house, I had little kids. And my wife at the time said, what, look at, I love this girl. I said, why? She goes, look at how she connects with these children. Watch. And look at how classy she is. Watch how she does this.

And she was watching here and she was watching her. And she was like, he better lock that down because if he doesn't, and he can kiss my ass, she said something like that. Everyone could tell. You said, next, that night, you text me and you go, I like Joe, bro. I like Joe, bro.

I love that. But that was it. I knew where he was. I was like, you know you meant to have kids, right? You're gonna be a great mom. She's like, Jesus Christ, it's aggressive. We haven't even ordered our own. You just asked me if I wanted to fake plant. Well, she shut you the fuck down the first time

you try to make a move. Yeah, really? I don't like that. She looked at me and said, I don't know who the fuck. She goes, I don't know who the fuck you think I am, but I'm not, what are you, what is this? What is this? Yeah, turn me on more.

That's terrible. It turned me on more. She was wrong. Yeah, she was wrong. Yeah, she's wrong. Yeah, she fucked up. She's wrong. No, I've only felt that once.

I've only fallen in love one time. Every other time I just have fun. That's really only once. I think that's why girls fall in love with me because they're like, oh, you just want to have a good time. And be silly and like, have fun. This is so fun. I think it depends. I think the girls you're, I think the one that I did fall in love with me because like oh, he just wants to have a good time and be silly and like Have fun. This is so fun. It's I think it depends the girls your and then the one that I did fall in love with she goes I'm going through a lot. Yeah, you like a damn it. What was her excuse?

I Don't know yeah, yeah, I don't even know I From what I know that's it like maybe she's not ready to jump into something super serious Yeah, or maybe I loved her more than she likes me. That's heartbreak, that happened. I think that's what it was. It just happened. Or that's how I've been telling myself that.

Do you like me? Yeah, yeah. I was a girl, I was crazy about them. Well, yeah, that's what he said. Now, those are girls I was crazy about, dude. And we were like, it was all amazing, I thought. And we were all set to go on a trip to Europe. I had it all, I bought it.

I bought it. And then we're fucking, we're getting down. We're getting down. I'm like, this is some love making, dude. This is gonna happen. And you know what she did in the middle of it? She goes, yeah, I'm not into it. In the middle of what?

The trip? Just no one thought she was like, we weren't having sex, we were about to. She to because yeah, I'm not into it and I went Because her body looks she was like you know, and I went I went oh I just stopped dude. I stopped so I was like There's is there any bigger turn up. I just stopped and I just got up. I put my clothes on I go I This this isn't I can see that this isn't for you. And at the time, I know that.

I was done, dude. And she was like, no, when she talked, and I go, I'm not gonna talk, because the rest is denial. I know what this is, I've been here. I can feel it. I don't have any hard feelings, I've been here. I really liked it.

I played the, you know, but I remember, I was like, oh, she's not, that was so un-saxied. I like, kills that you're just like, you're dick is like, I was so shocked. I went I thought it was going. I thought it was just hot and I went Yeah, I'm not in Me I left I just got in my car was like one morning. I was like I only know my world and you're like I'm not in I felt I felt I was like a day girl and then she's like,

she's like, you know, I don't want you serious, you know, I'm also seeing insert major celebrity girl. Oh my God. No, you're happening to me. Oh, no doubt, yeah, no, that makes sense. I would definitely go with him instead of my dumbass. Yes. I was talking to a girl and she lives at Matthew Perry's house.

Well, tough guy. I go, what? Yeah, yeah, I'm roommates with Matt. Talking to a girl and she lives at Matthew Perry's house Go what yeah, yeah, I'm roommates with Matt. He's like he doesn't need a roommate first of all What are you talking about 30 million? He has like a giant guest house as like a construction going on in his house And I was like there's no way you're not fucking Matthew 100% and she's like well, no, it's not like that. I was like I am out Yeah, I'm out talking about yeah out. What are we talking about? Yeah, I had that actually with a girl who was dating a very famous basketball player.

And she was all about it. And I was like, this is very strange. If you did enough homework, you could figure this next one out. Just to the food for thought to the most famous. I was head over heels about a girl. I thought she was awesome. She's probably, to this day,

probably one of the funniest people I've ever hung out with. She was very fun, very sexy. I was really attracted to her. She's probably to this day probably one of the funniest people I've ever hung out with. She was very fun, very sexy. I was really attracted to her. She's very cool. She casually tells me, or no, she didn't. Her friend goes, oh yeah, she, uh, she fucks Deandre Jordan.

I don't know if you know what Deandre Jordan looks like. He looks like the monster. We might be the Yin and Yang of Cox. Yeah. Like, what is going on? His dick's the size of my arm. He's the monster. We might be the Yin and Yang of Cox. Yeah. Like, what is going on? His dick's the size of my arm. He's the biggest. And I was like, wait, the girl I like is also fucking de-on-the-short.

That is interesting. Yeah, that's it. I was like, what the world? Maybe I'm not her type. Yeah, I know this is not gonna work. Yeah, that's a tough gig. So that was a pretty big kibosh on that. That is a giant.

But it happens with guys too. Like, you, my girl, like, my birthday party, she's like, Jeff's a tough gig. So that was a pretty big car wash on that. That is a giant. But it happens with guys too, like you and my girl, like my birthday party, she's like Jeff's coming. I'm like, yeah, that's my boy. Yeah. She's like, you've known him like three months, I'm like, when you know, you know. She's like, your game, I'm a- I should've been telling people that,

this is gonna sound real gay, but I'm the last American bro, yeah. But I was like, yeah, we fell into friendship and they go, what? Yeah, you know how you fall in love? You know how we fell into friendship? He's like, the second I hung out, I was like, yeah, we fell into friendship and they go, what? Yeah, I was like, yeah, you know how you fall in love? You know, we fell into friendship. He's like, the second I hung out, I was like, that guy fucking right away.

Yeah, but the deal is the one that made happen. He's like, hey, do you know Jeff Dyer? I'm like, I know love him. We've never met. He's like, I'm telling you guys, you're my best friend. Yeah, really? He's like, yeah. Can you come with a greener?

I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, I just came out of the house. I'll make you the same day. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I'm not your friend. You're out, right? You're out. I got a fight. I didn't mean to the fucking game, but then that's awesome. Yeah, I'm not your out. You're out. You're out. I got to fight me into the fucking game with any of those shots back in.

That was towards the last end of a terrible Laker season. We got all next season. We'll all go. You think they're gonna be better tonight? Did you watch the game last night? Yeah, yeah, I watched it. I'm proud of Steph Curry, though. I hate both those teams.

I don't know how Wiggins not get MVP. I give it to Steph. They gave it to Steph because he never got one before, but Wiggins would add it. I don't say how Wiggins not get MVP. Yeah, I give it the stuff. They give it the stuff because you never got one before, but Wiggins would add it. I think so. That's Trailblazers 1, I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot. So, Trailblazers. So, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Gold Sun, the Warriors. Yeah. Don't say Warriors. The Warriors 1? Well, I thought you liked all the Warriors. How do you know? Ryan Zull, and now our Blacks are all to play.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't watch one game, and I was a bit. No, it's exclusively Black, guys. I was in, there's no yeah. I didn't watch one game, and I was exclusively Black, guys. I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, I was in the, to them when the series. And then he goes on this whole tangent of what should have been this other guy. I forget who he said. Oh, it shouldn't have been Steph. No, he had a whole other guy.

Yeah, he had a argument for this other guy. And I was like, okay, well, you're too inside baseball guy. Yeah, you know, I'm not talking about. And I go, no doubt, I'm glad Steph won. And then he kept like giving me stats. I'm like, okay, dude. And then I go, hey, what is your brother? Your brother's, he tell,

don't get an argument with your brother about sports. That's you. He's lost. He loves basketball. Let me run this by you. Are you about Jokeage, who plays for the ninth place? Yeah. Are you how he's not better than LeBron with him?

And it's a night, a little bit of mine. He can't just joke, Joke is one, two MVP's back to back. And statistically it's like two of the best ages. Two, you know, there. But you look at the stats, it's not. J best ages. And different ages too, you know there. But you look at the stats, it's not. Joe Kamiya, Joe Kamiya, Joe Kamiya.

Because Steph Curry's probably the greatest three. Yeah, he shoots a full-time assistant. Yeah, he already, yeah. And Clay Thompson's up there too, you know, he did all right this time. Well, Steph is like, already has all the records. Yeah, but so my brothers give me all those facts. I'm like, yeah, no doubt, you know, I'm with Domassio.

Do you think Steph fucks chicks on the road and Jay's like That's a better face. It's chicks and he's like no He's an unfortunately known for like bringing his wife to all the games I was like you're square and then he just didn't text me back That's how you put it into it. Yeah, I was like, oh you asked about his sexual resume I was like, oh, I'm gonna lose on this you know I go you're that's boring I was like I'm gonna lose on this you know why you're you're That's boring. Yeah, I was gossip. I got I was I was fucking Jake's he has no way

I go dude a light skin brother MVP super star charming everyone knows him He's on a subway commercial you got you on his mom. So he's already conditioned What are we doing here? Nice as a latest girl's a jelly monster as a great as Lakers fan, I was not rooting for the cel, I was rooting for an earthquake, just to swallow the whole stadium and share all those guys. I hate both those teams.

But here's a run this by you. I think slam dunks should be worth three points. Why? They're harder than a three point shot. It's tougher to get there. And they're way more rare. It's just like, if you got dorks to shoot, because you're the thing,

I know this steps the best three-pointer in the world, and I've changed the game forever. It's all game forever. you got dorks just shoot, because you're just saying, I know this steps the best people should in the world. And I just change the game forever. It's all game forever. Because of his pull up. It's not fun to watch. It's like you just agree. It's like you see. When I guys do a submission thing,

it's technical and it's really hard to do, but it's also not the most exciting to watch. We want to round and pound, we want all that stuff. We're the same with three submissions. I like it, but I don't think it's a bar. I don't think it's as exciting to watch interesting. Yeah What do you think is the most exciting thing to watch and because you know all that stuff? Yeah, I mean, I'll see a knockout everyone knows a knockout and knockout like a slam dunk and a three pointers like a submission move

Yeah, I just I appreciate Steph because he's changed the game forever and like now kids Coming up like Steph is the face of like this generation so kids are me working on their like fundamentals. Yeah. Instead like no we can relate to that and remember Steph is only six three at best so like a lot of kids can relate to him. Nobody can relate to LeBron. LeBron like the shak. Here's the argument for LeBron. One people go you know Michael joins the best magic Johnson cream Abdul Jabbar cool. LeBron, it's hands down, this is where the argument ends. LeBron's the best athlete of all in the game. Yeah, I don't think he's the best player.

You think he's the best athlete in Jordan? Yeah, really. Physically, not physically. Six, nine, two, six, he shredded. He's like magic and Jordan mixed. I could have played, yeah, he's more like magic Johnson than Michael Jordan. So it's like to be that big athletic and do what he did

at 40 now, it's nuts. It's still doing it. Nuts. I'm not a level. Well, and that's what Steph said recently on a podcast, he was like, well, any, I'm like, he's about hard work. So it's like, you can practice your three over and over.

You can't practice getting bigger. Like you can't make yourself bigger. But LeBron was, like, Steph, I don't think it was born with like crazy skills, right? Like, yeah, as Dabbs NBA, so he grew up shooting three pointers in the NBA as a kid, which is a huge advantage. But LeBron was like, nope, unless you're 69, 260 shredded,

when he run a 440, we can't relate to that. When he was 14, he was the best basketball player in the country at 14, 640, 35. Yeah, I was 14. I mean, so he was physically so. He were televised in his ninth grade basketball. My favorite is he pulls like he pulls up in a Hummer H. See 15. It's like well Clearly someone's given this kids money and bought his mom house. Yeah, the serious out the serious question no one care

They're like that's the future. Yeah, but my I asked my buddy Jimmy Burke the serious question. I said When did the bond James surpassed me as an athlete? When was he a better athlete? The real, the real, age 10. When he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he's out of the, 12 years old, out of his mom's pussy. He's a better athlete. I'll say pussy.

He said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he's out of the, 12 years old. No, but I mean, when he could beat me, you line up 10 sports, he beats me in, in all of my, when he was six, be realistic. Like you have 15, 12, 12, you line up 10 sports, he beats me in all of them. When he was six. Be real and say, what was his name? Like, you had 15, you had 15. You had 15, like now? Yeah, that's my 30.

No, that's my 30. You would say now. Yeah, I would say when he was 14. Yeah, I definitely had 14 because he was 6, 4, 2, 3, 4, 5, and already, maybe when he was 12, you'd run circles, right? That's what it was. Like, 12 years old, he said. Jimmy said seriously, he goes, at 12 years old, he was probably at that point,

as big maybe, maybe 13, when he was already bigger, stronger and stronger. Even that's the same. Three puberty in that crazy. You know what I'm saying? That's out of the double, a volatile idea. I've got this show that I'm trying to pitch to get picked up, but one of the things is we wanted to figure out

what's the youngest that can beat me in like UFC, like who can beat me up? There it is. So we'll start with like a little kid, you know, we'll like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a five year old, I'm just gonna pin him. No, I know a nine year old. Who'd roll you the fuck up. That's what I'm saying, like nine year old.

Not nine's a little small. No, no, no, no, no. But we're just gonna keep getting bigger. No, no, no, no, no. And then we'll go up nine's the age that can beat me up. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's so small. It's not, it's not though. There's some nine year olds in Eddie Bravo system

that would get a hold of his ankles and tears fucking like that. Not mine. And he doesn't know Jiu-Jitsu. I don't know anything. He doesn't know the fundamentals. There's nine year olds. Girls that would rip your fucking ankles up.

We have many things. Freaks. Yeah, and it's all they do. They die in ankle. Certainly, certainly 12 year olds that'll, that'll, because there's a certain strength factor like my son's tennis. He's, is you still Growing you're still a very small child. You got dad power on them. Yes, but oh my so what fuck you guys

There are there are there are kids that there are Kids are striking and wrestling at Definitely 12 and 13. No, I'm telling me fun to watch No, there's some 19-10 you're watching a Bravo system or John Danher system that will rip your fucking knee up. Who just knew Uncle Locke's crazy, like. No, it's all they know. It's all they've come up with. Would they be able to do it without permanently injuring me?

Probably not, because they have no control. That's fantastic. That's like a baby rattles in a kitchen. Yeah. Just fan him, fan him, fan him, fan him. Yeah, there's some freaks out there, dude. Well, my son, well, I don't know why he's watching this YouTube video, the soccer player, this kid.

He was like eight, and I was like, holy. Yeah, this kid specialized. They're specialized. They don't have to make a caveat that they have to like pin me. Wait, no, there's no pinning. No, they just got to meet you. Submit. But I don't get your back or get your ankles like, there's 10 year old out there.

I promise you that we'll do it. I think 10 years of scratch, but I don't think so. And I'm like, balls deep in it. I'm telling you, there's a 10 year old that might get to school. What do I get to do back though? I get to fight, right? Like I gotta keep my way. No, you gotta start and guard.

Like they're not gonna take you down cause you're 40, right? So that's what I'm saying though. That's, there's like some 10 year old dagous thingions who would, I say 13 year old dagous thing. Like you have to see, and I like, I gotta come in the same way that you have see guy does.

You can't, I'm not gonna let them start But they're going to jump to your ankles. Yeah, it's literally all they do. They're 13 14 year olds That'll that'll cause you give you fits. Oh, I'm saying there's 10 year olds out there. They're gonna fuck you I love it. Yeah, everybody in here by the way Yeah, 56 pounds is so small about 70 pounds. Well, what's the youngest kid that could be you up? Tigers fucking six. You know what you're doing. No, this is for bitch.

There's no child that can be him up. There's no child? I'm not like what age? Right now, right now. Right now. No, no, no, no, no, no. There's, I don't believe that anybody in the UFC, I don't believe anybody in the UFC under, under 155

could beat him up right now. I don't think that, I don't think they'd last. What's that one guy with the crazy haircut from Ireland or Scotland or whatever's that? Oh, baddie, patty. Paddy, no. No, too small. Well, he raised 220.

He's 220. Yeah, but it's, there are much smaller guys. Who would give you some problems? Not a friend I got a whole thing. A friend I got a whole thing. That guy, he's a big boy. He's training every day. He's training every day. Yeah, training every day.

He's a savage. Yeah. But as far as basketball, how would you do against the WNBA players? Crush them, dude. You think? No, I think they do fine. But I do think I'd put up a very embarrassing fight

that they wouldn't want on camera. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. And that Brittany Griner might give some, or like, yeah, just some ones. But I'm saying, they don't have the, they don't have the aggression. so that's what branch you do He should transition into a female and win seven straight WNV

I'm a man to one of them 50 yeah, I'd be sick and be like I'm a girl Well in college mean like all division one football players played against the CU women's basketball team and they destroyed like don't even straight I mean when we were guarding them they couldn't touch the ball. Oh yeah, but dude Just their fundamentals and passing and they had to even open the fucking bank of it I'm not sure if you could even find on the internet because the internet tried to scrub and bury this story But there was some tennis guy was like ranked like you know not even the top 500 or whatever challenge serene Williams and she said I could beat him and they go all right Let's do it. They thought it was gonna be some great PR to be from women's sports.

He beat them back to back. And then double down on his things and I said that they wouldn't even beat the top, you know, a thousand men. That's how they were in the exact class. Well, you know what happened with the women's Olympic team? They were doing this, it was even like a charity thing. They were just looking for competition.

The soccer team. They played against high school all-erasing, like in Houston. And those 1500, high school boys beat the shit up. They beat like 10 to zero. Which is 15 and under, 15 and under. They beat them five to nothing.

15 and under. And I've said it a million times, I might be controversial, but like, it's all we have on these chicks is sports. And they still want to act like they're as good. It's like that's our thing. We got you. You're never gonna beat a sport.

10 is a good example. Like the top 500 guy. I mean, big, really good D1 players They hit the ball too hard if you ever watched those guys a pepper dime. I love tennis I was watching these dudes at pepper dime hit the they First of all is six four second of all they hit the ball so hard and six four with bread They're all both of them. They're all six four. They hit the ball so fucking hard It's what it likes me. I'm six and they never miss they don't miss anything. You just can't

It's just different. Yeah serena said after the thing she goes well, you know He's putting spin on the ball that we've never seen before. He's also like I'm trying to with us. She said spin on the ball and then like the velocity or whatever like the way it was coming That's yeah, bitch. Yeah, dude. He was a grown man. Oh, yeah, Roman and the internet was like, uh, let's he beat him back to back Yes, he's ranked 2 and 3rd in the world He beat 3-6 to 1 and Vino 62 and was like game blouses first of all 23rd in the world is so unbelievably good. It's stupid good. So there's no way it isn't as a man Not a top five. No, but if you saw him playing if you love feter would you but if you saw

They've I'm telling you I if you saw him play and then you saw the top 10 guy play in Your eyes you actually wouldn't see the difference It's no no it's game challenge. No listen to the hit the ball greatest female tennis players that have ever Never heard I would have first and I would have told you I could have told you that was Okay, he looks like an open helicopter. I could have told you I was looking for a mic. I mean, but nobody in test world would be surprised by that. 200 and 300 in the world is really fucking awesome.

I can't believe they agreed to it. I know. Look at him. They actually look happy that he's dealing with his ass. To be that good is a big deal. Yeah, she's too excited on the right. They didn't know what they're excited for. This is supposed to be the show.

It look how thin she looks. Those are young. That's a young her. Yeah, that's serena Venus. I Love that movie King Richard Yeah, this was they were like you know, it's taken over nothing away from those cows, but you know, it's different That's Nick Kairigos though, look, I think I think we want that's a different guy I think you beat the shuttle with a change. I think one woman graduated from the top gun program, right? I think it's just, I think actually...

It's not sports though, yeah. But it is. Oh, no, no. No, no. But it is. It's not an athletic. What are you talking about? I think it is.

No, no. Let me tell you why. Fighting G-Force and stuff like that and reaction times. G-Force? Yeah. What do you mean? Well, so when you hit, you're like, nine in a plane. Are you talking about a fighter pilot?

Yeah, that's right. I mean, 12. I think it's just shooting. No, no, the top gun. Well, no, that hit block nine in a plane, or it's like I'm out of fighter pipe. Yeah, that's right I think I'm just shooting. No, no, top gun. No, that's not like a van It's pretty athletic. They're they have to be in crazy shape I think it's a little bit like race car driving because they're pulling those on athletes to me there aren't no reaction time and Physical you drive with your ass. You're feeling the whole thing feeling it. I think it's really physical though It's super those aren't sports. Yeah. No, what are they? There's lots of things that are difficult. Comedy's very difficult, but I'm not an athlete.

Yeah. No, but if I read a book in a sauna, my athlete, it's the beast. Oh, it's so different. It's so different. Because I think with race car driving, you are reaction to. It's reaction.

So our video game guys, it's also our physical. Yeah, but our video game guys athletes. This is a little different because this is life and death sometimes, or it's like really. Oh, so if it's life and death, it makes us work. Well, let's watch. That car is an athlete, but if you watch them drive how physical they are and how much weight they lose in a race,

it's a very physical thing, right? I don't know though, what do you think? I think what's interesting is, it's very difficult. I also think it doesn't take anything away from them by saying they aren't. Like I don't think it takes anything away from them. No, like are you gonna compare yourself to

a LeBron James physically? Like that makes sense. Well no, you wouldn't compare. If you run the 40 and a 5. No, that's not a good comparison because you could say the same thing about Tom Brady and LeBron, right? So I wonder, is there athletes

and there's athleticism, right? Those might be two different things, right? So, I wonder, is there athletes and there's athleticism, right? Like, those might be two different things, right? Like, the ability to, I don't know, like, but like Danny Riccardo and like Lewis Hamilton, the F, to me, F1's a little different than Nascar, right? Nascar, right? I'm talking about F1. Well, Ness, he's just throwing that. What does that Nascar? No, I didn't. He didn't.

No, I wasn't. I said just, you're flirting. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, F1's a little different, because they get to make weight. Yeah. I think it's... But then also, in F1, it's the car. No, I was like, I said just Gordon, you said, you're sorry. I mean, that's one little different. Cause they gotta make weight. Yeah. But then also in F1, it's the car. Yeah, the cars are better than the other cars. It's the car that they need.

I don't know the answer. It's like a joke, right? Like the jockey is important. Yeah, jockey is important. But they name the horse, they go the horse one. Yeah. No one names the jockey. No one gets it.

It's like, a big brown one, the set with the fuck. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, not Gary, whatever big brown one the step with Derri not Gary What and it's hard to be a jockey you got to be a certain size got to train but I don't think they're athletes Physical thing like so when you the stunt driving right? Mm-hmm. They say drive with your ass, right? You you you you got to feel the car, but is that a feel and a skill then more of a skill? But it's physical sure Right there's a physical element. Well, you're using your hands,

you're using your cars doing all the fuck. But no, you're using your hands and feet, right? You're using your hands and feet. With the machine you've never driven. It's physical, guys, look at them. But you're actually doing this and you're using your body. Yeah, yeah, you're doing that.

You're doing that. You're doing that. Well, no, because the pedals are all, like bring up a mask, I mean, I fucking, a Formula One driver, because they're so physical. Formula one's a little, I mean, I fucking, Formula One driver, because they're so physical. Formula One's a little different. Yeah.

I don't think any of them are athletes. I think what they do is really hard. I don't think they'd be in so- So then what makes it better, what makes it better driver? What is the, so you have to feel? It's a number, no, it's a number one. It's feel.

Like, Lewis Hamilton, he's so good, A, because he has best car, B. But isn't shooting feel? Right? Isn't like shooting. But isn't shooting, feel? Right? Isn't like shooting, B. But, hey, B, it's a physical act of shooting that. So is that, driving? Yeah, because look.

Yeah, but the basketball isn't a machine. It's propelled by you. Right. The car is propelled by gas. Yeah, but, yeah, when they do a driver, the driver has to actually do... They have to change all the engine. We listen to shit.

They're not, they're not given the driver You drive pull up video about can we do that? Oh? No, because when you watch how physical it is like what they're doing to have the gears in their so is a fire is a firefighter unathlete Physical you rush into house. You on time limit. It's an athletic you have to be Athletic would help you being strong and in shape with the same thing. With the race car drivers.

It's like hill-tambour being the best athlete. The car does the best athlete, but I don't know if they're, like could you do it and not be athletic? I bet you could. Well, what about, so what makes, so a boxer, right? Their ability to see distance angles, great strikers, okay? Then the rest is like the other like measured distance but it's also physicality and then the rest is

more on the earned and so it's driving right? No, she's not getting hit back. You are kind of right? You know, well, but the margin for either road, yeah, like my mom's on athlete because she drives down the four. No. No, you're going to an athlete. Or maybe we are. Maybe we're all athletes. You're going to 220 miles an hour and you make a mistake.

That's getting hit back. You're going to hit something. You're going to hit somebody else, the curb and you get fucked up. But that's new. There's no variables with that, right? You haven't said anything that's not true, but none of this makes you an athlete.

No. It's just really hard and difficult and skillful. You're in a sport, you know, like that. I know, like that's, I've got, I've got, you have to define these terms first and all of the way on it and then go. Does it, does it, does it? Yeah, because I just, I don't know.

Because, hey, B, is bodybuilding an athlete? Like, is, is, is, Phil Heath or, uh, uh, running coma an athlete? Takes a lot of work. Oh, you know, competitors are in competitions and athletes are in sports. They compete. I don't know.

They're competitors. I don't know the answer. We're in a competition. I actually don't know how to answer that question. I don't need that. But I, I, there's my thing too, if, if F1 and NASCAR wants to say their athletes, I don't give a fuck. They're competitors.

Body bulls call themselves athletes. No, no, what I'm trying to say is this. What's so competitive? What makes the difference? You, we have have to the best way to answer it is You got number one number one hundred in FF one racing. Okay. What's the whatever is what's the variable? What do you mean why is one better? consistently is it athleticism money? Is it not and physical but is reaction time athleticism?

It's part of athleticism so so Physical so be able to back Physical be able to back feel this people are coming at you Yeah, but you're throwing the ball physically like what you're getting it twisted Tom Brady might not run a 4 4 40 but his hand release time you're driving recognize it way how about this if I gave this? If I gave you, like when you shift, how you steer, no, everyone can do this. Everyone can do this. No, not the way those guys try. Everyone can do this. If I gave you the reaction time of the steering way, like what makes Lewis Hampton special, like when he went to the shooting

range, like we've never seen Hanhai coordination like this. Right. But is that that's not a physical athletic issue? It's part of what makes you like a better athlete. So a quarterback I would imagine like Drew Brees can read a backfield faster than some guy and somebody else. Yeah, but Drew's Brees is also very quick, very fast, explosive. Yeah, he throws the ball faster than anybody.

Tom Brady has his hand, same thing. If I give you the best race car on the world, you're fucking up with Tom Brady. Tom Brady's hand release is the fast in the business. Always has bit. Oh yeah. Yes. And it's a physical motion of throwing a football.

I don't think that's what makes him the best quarterback. If I gave you the best race car in the world. Yeah. And gave you like a couple of years to work on it. Yeah. Do you think you could probably compete in the race? Absolutely not. That's not how Formula One works.

Now if you start as a kid he could. Yeah. It's a very, very good deal. I'll skip. Formula One like Danny Riccardo and Lewis Hamlin started when they were like six. All those guys start in a box card. It's fucking hard. There's a reason those guys get paid that much money.

Well, there's only 20 of them. Yeah, it's not a plug and play. And you're talking about Red Bull Mercedes. They get paid fuck loads of money. Like, can't you, I couldn't leave you LeBron's shoes and put you out on the Lakers court. You couldn't do a car. The car is doing a lot of that work.

Who's hell stand is very special. He's special for a reason. One is how he came up, but also he's got some gift. Like you can't. He's got some gift. Like Senna Arret who does dead now with Schumacher. Those guys had something that most drivers don't. They distinguished themselves in the go-cart series.

When they were younger, they were already winning. There was something about those guys. That was, they had this ability to do it. I don't think they're special at all. I don't know enough about driving you. Big love, that's what I do. I don't know why you don't consider it. It's tough argument.

Yeah. Athletes. You know, I don't watch it. I don't watch it, but I know that they, I know that having watched some of it, they stay in shape because it helps them. So if you have to be physically out of shape. Well, formal and low in relationship. You have to be a certain weight.

Right. Because the heavier you are, the slower you're taking. Car is so there to be like 146, I think. Jesus. Small guys. Yeah. They're like jokies, car jockey. I don't know. I don't know, man.

I do think it's really, like, you have to define the terms or the resume of. It's an age-old debate, but it's something I never get tired of. It's because of the debate. I remember a guy told me, he was like, it's not a sport unless it's a contact sport. So like swimming isn't a sport. And it's kind of like, I just thought that's true, but then you like, you go into it and like, you can make the case

the same thing. I know I don't agree with it. I'm just saying like, it's golf, a sport or a skill. Ooh, sport. Well, you think you got a ball and you compete to be the best. What? But the Tegs involved.

Look at John Daly's body. Look at John Daly's body. Right. And he was trying to do it fast. He just did it. I was sober. I would sober up on the tablet. No one ever goes to those baseball players aren't athletes,

but there's a ton that are out of shape. I just think that, like, here's the thing, it's just words and labels, so who really cares? But for me, a sport has athletes, and a competition has competitors. So they're competing to win a race, cheerleaders compete with each other in these matches, weightlifters compete to be the, those are all competitions, and those are competitors.

And I think a sport has athlete. But cheerleading is very physical. Do flips and jumps and all that. Yeah, but they're not. You'd be explosive. Threatletic. Athletic competitors. Oh, that's athletic, dude. When you can do like backhand springs and two double flips,

that's not, that's not. I'm just looking at their boobs and butts anyway. Hey, dude, I don't know what they're doing. There's a lot of guys out there. You're missing the fucking boy, bro. Yeah, I don't know what they're doing. There's a lot of guys out there. You're missing the fucking boy, bro. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think that one's athletes. Yeah, I don't know if NASCAR.

I don't know either. I don't know enough about it. I don't follow it. I just, anyway. Yeah, because then our construction guy's athlete, too, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, policeman. Well, none of that, I mean.

Guitar player. Guitar player. Yeah, it's, to be a drummer. Guitarist, hand icon. To be a drummer, that's a skill guitar's a skill There are physical drummers are actually these I mean singing is physical But you're not an athlete although they would say I love this kind of they call opera singers sometimes they call opera singers Athletes they'll be like he's got great long. Oh nobody around me. Come on. Nobody around me right?

You're a friend say that but nobody like who knows shit on me, right? Your friends say that, but nobody like, who knows shit would say that. I bet that you can't even fight it. I bet that you can't even fight it. That opportunity's one hell of an athlete. Yeah, that's not real, right? I bet that's not even the internet.

You didn't say that. Nobody's ever said that. Ever in the history of the world. Yeah, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, That's an athlete that's never happy call him musical athletes. No, there you go. Oh My god, what it's article so physical though You have to define you have to go what we all have to I believe what what does it know? Why is it even in there? I don't know you guys can it you guys don't agree it on what is a sport? You'd have to let that definition we know singing's not this is going down a stupid road and I started because I guarantee no friend of his said that opportunity is nathie because I don't want to get away from it

I would say get away from me right now. I do think there's probably some people are out but it could play the drums like Travis Barker's pretty athletic But compared to what LeBron so we're new Williams now, of course. Yeah, who's bad magic Johnson or Dave Grohl? All right, I got to add those athletes. He's good with the guitar. All right, what do you got, Jim? All right, since when did Google have this new, what is that? They do it all the time.

That's a new logo. Who is that? That's what, so you got to click on it. That's the vice president of the United States of America, Calon. A British opera singer? How are you? Ha, another athlete.

Amanda Astley, man. Another fucking athlete, dude. From 1866 She weren't a wig British opera singer teacher composer left songs. Yeah, that's Google is trying to like hey check this out We're not racist. Yeah, Google's really trying to hedge their beds here that wig is lit though. Yeah, it is what's your deal? We're celebrating her music She's a football him and on top right. Oh yeah, she's looking good there. I give some current events to you. Give me one.

Come on, silly hat, isn't it? Now, Brendan, most of your back problems, your knee problems, your hip problems, originate in the feet. I don't know if they really. I fell in love with this company. I made some nice sandals, dude. Dude, I fell in love with this company.

I made some flip-folds because they make the best highest quality fucking vegetable tan leather Herman oak flip flops if you want saltwater crocodile they got that if you want stingray They got that a little make-o shark feel they got that forgive you what everything they they have exotic letters all the money Goes back to you all on my feet animals dude you can have whatever you want what multiple See animals on my feet. They make them by hand. They make them by hand.

Can you get your guy, I want the top to be stingray, the bottom to be some other fish. We can do that. I can give you scraps. I can give you shark scraps. Stingray's standout. Ooh, yeah. Now, hold out on your boy.

Elephants that die of natural causes. Elephants that are really old old your boy flies down there They cuts the skin off that's what they do and then all the money when they sell the skins the money goes back to the Game wardens back to the reserve. Yes, so you can add elephant under your feet and believe it or not when you're wearing that Reclamed elephant that goes right back to the animals The elephant that we donate crypto into the elephant. That is correct. The elephant has NFTs?

You will never, this is the only day or you will see me in these boots. You will never see me out of my toe holes. No, you love them. I'm obsessed. I'm trying to buy into the company. I'm gonna be honest with you. You want to be a partner.

That's how much I believe in. I believe in a partner. And I need some sea world, jacquery board sandals. That's all the different sea animals. That's what that is. Put some pufferfish on them. Put some eel.

What do you need? Put some stingray. We got, hey, you'll like this. Put some fucking eel on there. They're coming out with the actual flip-flop. They got the first amendment on there. You believe in free speech? They got a Patriot series.

They got all kinds of stuff. Does that have a World War II veteran skin on it? Yes. No, that they don't have. Go to shoptohold.com, T-O-E-H-O-L-D, and they got a promo code TfatK for 15% off. The best flip flops, the only flip flops you will ever need under your feet, I live in them and there's nothing better

for your feet. Cured my foot problem. No compromises made by hand in Vegas. Get some tohold.com. 15% off with promo code TfatK. Shop tohold. These great events are brought to you mostly by Brendan this week. Reason is I sound like this is lit. Check this out. Child eating leopard just three kids and whore 48 rampages, villagers, on the 20th. That's what I've always said, guns don't kill people. Cheetahs do.

Yeah, a lot for that. Do you imagine being fucking malbed at that thing? There's such one girl that you know, one girl he just, I think she was 10 or something. I'm just, took her away in eight or a life. This is gonna be nice. It's gonna be nice. Don't kill people and eat them, aren't you? No, this is he just, I think she was 10 or something. I'm just took her away in eight or a life. This, it was like, oh, cats don't kill people and eat them, aren't you think? No, this is even a cat.

We'll get to that. We'll get to that. This is so awful. That's so awful. And look at it, it comes after two boys were killing a suspected leopard attacks over the weekend. We'll do. Her death spark, fear is out protest.

Yeah, because that's not your kid, you fucking idiot. I'll shoot that leopard. Wait, where's the, where was this in America? Oh? You gotta get rid of that fucking no, you're not in Greenwood Village, Colorado. You know that leopard right? Sure, man. Yeah, you're not in Tarzan. There we was no leopard. You're but that cheetah in Burbank Got that guy Lion's acidine is on the loose man. Hey, we've got to do some about this lion in fan. That's some India shit Yeah, fucking lepper Blues man, hey, we've got to do something about this lion in fan that's some India shit. Yeah

Lepard here you go mark Oh, yeah, you love cat. He's the weird cat guy on the last episode Bren was like you know that I'll love you right cuz we're gonna each shoot as soon as you die And I'm like yeah, you know what I'd be proud to be you'd like my cats How many cats you got? 19 no I four. Four cats. I guess I'll be 19. Yeah, four cats. After two, a woman was eaten by her 20 cats after she collapsed at her home and was

not discovered by cops for two weeks. Police were horrified when they discovered a partially eaten remains of the woman who was not to be named after receiving a call from a concerned coworker. Two weeks late, bitch. The woman was a cat breeder who kept the 20 giant Maine coon. Yeah, that's a breed, they're super big. Okay, I don't like the change that one. If we're gonna change the clue with Indians,

we gotta change that one. Yeah, it's a Maine, it's a Maine clue. Yeah, copper and lured by one of our employees inside our home police found her partially eaten by surrounded by the hungry cats. Yeah. Here's the thing, they say she collapsed in the cats' ate her. How do we know those cats didn't just murder her?

Yeah. How do it start like that? It probably only take a few of them to take it. It says the animal rescue has to go. The cats are left alone on their own for two weeks. There's no food, so what else is there to eat? There we go, that's my supposed first day. Okay.

What are they supposed to do, you know? Don't blame these poor cats. I'm playing crashes in the snow, you're not going to eat the other passengers after a couple weeks. And some of the healthier cats have not been re-homed to the new owners yeah I'm going to pass on the handle left over at what's the salt of the day they did they had to buy those a cannibal cats yeah studies have found that cat owners who die at home risk being eaten

alive by their hungry yeah magees here's What's a muggy? Don't die at home Science with the shocking fine after you catch broken to the research center to feast on the pro Decomposing corpses in Colorado makes no sense study so the veterans get die at home risk being eaten alive How about the zombie cats I just made the shot and scroll up. Scientists have made the shocking Find after two cats broken to the research center to feast on the Co-decomposing corpses in Colorado. Yeah, so these zombie cats are breaking in the fucking research center to eat people Gotta eat see it see see mark. Yeah, you still like cats never been in the cat

What if this is the article to change my mind? See, Mark, you still like cats? Never been in the cats, be honest with you. This is the article that changed my mind. Get rid of my cats. The main theories that cats are picky eaters, once they find a food they like, the stick with it, whether it's people or not. The story of people in the loan who are devoured by the stormy cats,

if they die, have been doing the rounds for years. Jordan Peterson in 12 rules for life, one of the chapters is like, if you see a cat pet it, right, that's one of his 12 rules. He's like, he said a sentence and then he goes, he goes, well, cats technically aren't domesticated, aren't really domesticated. And then he goes on his thing.

And I always remember stopping, like, why did he just, he should explain that? What do you mean they're not fully domesticated? So you can't, what does that mean? You don't domesticate a cat. In other words, you can tame an elephant, you'll never domesticate it. You can domestic it a dog. Well, what would we split in here? You can domesticate a cat. In other words, you can tame an elephant, you'll never domesticate it. You can domesticate a dog.

Well, what we've split in here is you can domesticate it. That's not doing work for you. That's domesticated in here. So no big difference. So you can domesticate oxen. You can domesticate sheep. You can domesticate cows. And you use them.

That's why you can milk them. You can ride them. You can domesticate a horse. You can ride it. You can use it to farm. One of the things about sub-Sahara Africa, the reason they didn't have a lot of farming land, so you had hunter gatherer tribes in,

when I say sub-Saharan Africa, like which was the tropical part of Africa, you didn't have animals. You could ask a question and then regret it as well. I know, I know, as soon as you get a little bit of trouble. I'm just kidding, for 10 years. No, but what is the difference between the Mexican and the Indian and the Indian?

You cannot, so a zebra, you could tame. You could be around a zebra if you raise it from a baby. That zebra. You can't do that. You try to fucking ride it. Eventually, he's gonna bite you and hold on you and then kick you to death. You could say that about any of you.

Elephants, no elephants, same thing. You cannot say that about a lot of it. Like you can have an ox, you can have a faithful dog, you can have a horse and ride it forever without the risk of it turning and killing you. Sometimes, every animal has some sort of defense that can happen. But for the most part, there's a very big difference.

It's why one of the reasons the fertile crescent Europe ended up modernizing faster. I think it's the same for the cyclical crescent. Yeah, but I know a cat, you go like, know boom and he does the little roll and everything like a dog Yeah, that cat is that would line to but you can add a to me here so that cat is domestic You can tame you can tame a lion never domestic it trust the cat I don't get it. I still don't understand the difference elephants can do tricks to the difference is you can never ultimately The difference is you can never ultimately rely on them to be harmless the way a cow is where you can milk it,

where you can ride a horse. Get your two small dogs. A dog can live in your house. You can't do that with a jaguar. Come on, the cat doesn't want to be in your arms. Like, it hears a loud noise. It's hurting you to get out of you. Like, I don't think we'll do that.

Jaguars, they're running, the difference is, yeah, like you can tame it. Some animals, their instinct, can never ever be taken out of them. So their instinct, so you could never, like like you can tame it. Some animals their instinct can never ever be taken out of them. So they're instinct so you could never like with antelopes. Do you ever wonder why we don't breed antelopes? I've never wanted that. But it's good meat. It's good meat.

It's because they're not hurt. They won't hurt. So if you have them in a pen and you go to get them, they will run into a wall and kill themselves. So you're basically the antelope of dudes. Like you're never gonna get married. Yeah, you're can't demand. I would eat ketchup right into a wall.

Jeff Dys is a great man. That's right. You're the zebra man. Jeff, you're a wolf and zebra. And a lot of guys, you're the dogs. Fight of the kid and zebra man. Do you know about the Russian Fox breeding program? I sure don't.

No. I don't miss that article, Mark. No, they like essentially condensed the process of domesticating foxes by only picking the ones that were super friendly to humans Like they'd rate the response if you open the cage and either they're hissing and yeah, or they're friendly They only took the friendly ones and over the course of like 50 years. Yeah, you can buy a pet fox for a 10,000 bucks Oh, my if you guys want one my buddy sells them. Yeah, he sent me a picture. I want red-handed. Yeah, no intro fuck You know what?

I really kind of fun. Wait how much is the fuck? I'm pretty expensive. Yeah, but that's all right. You know, we're all me smart. Yeah, get me the smart. It's not gonna. It's not gonna like Nature fuck shit on my floor for three years like a golden doodle does because he can't learn stuff. No, I don't think so. Oh wow It's a little I listen. I'm not buying a fox for 500 bucks. That's somebody that cot a fox like you can't have a fox for sale. It's a wild girl at the Runean Canyon.

Yeah, put a fox in a car. They might be a pain in the ass for a lot of things. For a good small fox, you're only about four or five. I've got Arctic fox. Yeah, I don't know, the small ones with big ears. Yeah, but it probably eats $200 and meat a week. My buddy goes, hey, are you in it? Because when you're around, I was looking for cats,

he goes, hey, you into foxes or sloths? Fossils or sloths? I know that. I mean, I'll put a sloth in the backyard. I said I'll put them in the backyard, but will you stay in the tree? Sloths are disgusting, by the way. Yeah, they're all greasy.

Yeah, exactly. It's like it looks soft. They emit some sort of oil from it's the back. They're eco-sustaining. So we try to touch it itself, fucking sappy. It was like you're's all fucking sappy Yeah, it was like your bed and a guy with dreadlocks See five to nine grand it for real prime fox man. You're talking five to nine really walk on a leash Yeah, yeah, the walk with you sleeping your bed and that's amazing. Yeah, it's cool. I might look into this yummy bitches You get a lot of life. Yeah come to my house. Yeah, are you into foxes? Every girl's like yeah, hey, I'll go you bet

I got a fox in my house like I you don't got a fox like all right hey if we go to my house There's a fox yeah, I have to sleep she goes that's fine. Well, are you sure it's not a dog? Yeah, I'm about to know bitch. It's a fuck I caught a while. I caught a wild fox I'm about to use my best friend you can have as a pet? A slow bowl? No, the cerebrates. Yeah, the really large cats. They seem like nightmares too, because they're... My boxing coach had one when I was coming up and I was so wild, he put in his basement. We had another little cat that put its hands or paws underneath the... John Jones has one right now. But he had another cat that put his paws underneath his neck. That thing went very cool. What I'm going to do, I'm going to rip your paws off.

And he decided to rip his paws off. Well, there's another kind. What's the other cat? And they only live to eat another cat. It's it's it's tan. Look at that one making coffee. See I'd buy that. If you made my spray all the morning, that's a one.

But there's another cat that's like that called a what the fuck is it called? I don't know. It's like a lynx. Yeah, but it's it's tan and that's like that called, what the fuck is it called? It's like that, it's like a lynx. Yeah, but it's tan and even bigger than that. The fuck is it, I knew a girl had one. I don't know, I still have one. Maybe it's a caracol. Dude, yeah, it's a caracol.

Dude, you got a caracol right here. You got to be out of your mind to have kids and buy these. Oh yeah, no doubt. I looked into it because they don't shed, they're having a look at those. Yeah, I know, girl has two of those. Look at us. I heard you don't want a monkey if you got kids to no monkeys get all

Fuck monkeys you know how monkeys look at that fucking thing Did you have that thing at your crib you did Gant it no, I mean never ask look at that lady. She's doing well. Yeah, well, those are fake ears, right? That's a regular tabby cat and she put it Exactly that's all she did that that that's the crazy cat lady cat and she put it in the exact same. That's all she did. That's the crazy cat lady and that's also Mark in ten years. Look at that, how the fuck the fuck the fuck. Look at those things. They're fucking gorgeous.

Look at that big there, though. That's cute. You don't want that room in your house. Oh, I want it to stay. No, it's a mountain line with pointy ears. They're killing everything, all the birds, everything. I'll do, think of a house cat, how well they hunt. Then you can get that fucking thing from Africa and then put it in fucking Tarzan and think it's gonna be all good

You think it's feet I think chick-fil-a waffle fries. Oh, I will I will you think look at that fucking thing Yeah, that's a really specific thing to give your cat. It's a fucking mouth Jeff. I want I'm gonna show you what I want I just can't find a video of I took. I took a video of this thing. Look at this creep. Oh, dude, that's a red panda. Yeah, it came right up to me. You can't have, you're not joking. Yeah, you got a, like the red panda, you got a, like it's like $500,000 a year from China.

You got to like rent them. And the zoo's only zoo's can have them. Told ya. China rents all the pandas. Yeah, right. Way to go buy it in. Yeah. Yeah, so are you? Now we're gonna lose all the pandas. Yeah, right way to go buy it in. Yeah, right. Am I right?

Now we're gonna lose all the panda. Hey, buy inflation gas. Get the fuck out there. Let's figure out the panda problem. Yeah. Quit renting the panda. I'm a red panda. Red panda, cute thing I ever saw.

So cute. Now, you know the Pixar movie or this movie, Red Panda, it's taken some heat because all they're saying is it's a young girl getting her period and then she's getting shamed for it That's the whole what do you mean like she like the they're saying like the The whole narrative of the story is it's a teenage or like a young girl Ginter period It's like a metaphor people treat are all mean because what gets her parents you freaks out. I haven't seen this

It becomes a red panda. Wow if you have kids you watch it and then I do the backstri out I'm like okay red pants getting some shit. I didn't even know there. It becomes a red panda. Wow. If you have kids, you watch it, and then I do the backstrand, I'm like, okay, red panda's getting some shit. I didn't even know there's a movie called Red Panda. They didn't mean anything behind that. Disney Pixar's Turning Red. You know, this stuff, how do you know? You stuff kids, and I get like, you know, not about how do you know it,

but like, how would they know what an undertone or what a meaning of a movie is supposed to really mean? Ah, you get it, dude. Yeah, you get it. Because. Yeah? You get it. Because remember when X machina or X machina, remember that movie came out? All these feminists were like, it's about how men treat women as,

it's a thing about how they keep women. Yeah, and the right. Sexuality, the right. Yeah, the right. Like, click on, is the red panda movie about periods. Click on it. You see it? Oh, this one.

Yep, keep it. Actually, it's not gonna be such a good one a good parents may be caught off guard by curious kids ask question about puberty or periods after seeing the film experts yeah what is experts John the real issue is not talking about periods at all as well as a social stigma you know I'm saying it's trying to that near to it's just how it becomes political everybody wants to jump on my son wants to see that new buzz your like that movie looks terrible yeah I heard it's so bad but you know like fucking kid wants to see is I get sit through this bullshit. You're gonna hate I'll probably listen No, fuck the podcast because Disney passed on Tim Allen cuz he's and they sang cuz he's conservative

But he also that's not true. I know that's not true. No Disney goes. They just make it a Santa Claus No Disney goes wrong with the character. They want this. He does don't but Tim Allen is like a comedy relief. He's old. This is his origin story and he's like a hero. So we want to use a more younger guy. I know it's done. I know 70. Also my kid's on who the fucking Tim Allen is. Right.

I know Chris Evans has to have an air. He had none to his conservative beliefs because apparently he has a deal with Disney's making a lot of money with him. And his class movie has nothing to this conservative beliefs. But they wanted to be like a hero, not comedy. So they hired Chris Evans. Here's what I don't get about this movie and and I watched the trailer to see if they would address this Buzz Lightyear's origin story is he was made in a toy factory and he was he was bought by Andy's parents

That's the order so I don't understand. They don't make any attempt to explain Who's what origin story? Yeah, it's the original like him as a character as a space. In a movie or a comic or a way, it doesn't make any sense. I don't know, dude, you know what you're thinking too much. I know. It's a fucking thing.

But I was hoping they had a dress at least because I was going, oh, I like toys, I like toys, you know, just watch it, you know. I like toys, do I? Are you gonna bring your kid to it? He's got, he wants to go today. So I'm thinking about going, you know, it's whatever. You can explain it.

I bought him a Buzz Lightyear And the what do you think is he got into toy story for a little bit But here's the problem when you buy those toys on the bottom of the foot says Andy like the movie Mm-hmm, so my son clearly don't pay attention like why the fuck is another kid's name? Yeah, do you steal this toy so I crossed it out and got a sharpie put tiger on it? Did you write it like a little kid would write it like Andy was horrible. It ruined the toy. He's gonna play with it. I'm like, dude, your name's on it. I don't want it man. Things for fun. I don't do.

Yeah. But also, Dizzy, why would you put another kid's name on the fucking toy? So to accurate. I had to cross it out. Like I did. Yeah. They think this is a used toy. It doesn't want to touch it. I think since he used it. Yeah. So we get everything about getting used to us. Yeah, they think this is a used toy doesn't want to touch it Think since he used it Everything about getting used to us absolutely not. Oh, no, no, absolutely not my score too well My dad would take us to goodwill and let us pick one thing out. Yeah, remember my brother got a saxophone one time But we don't have with the sax

That ain't in you I bought my son a guitar, I was like, I bet like that ain't in you. I bought my son a guitar. I was like, want to start playing a guitar? Bottom down, he's like, hey, he goes, you a musician? I go, no, he goes, I don't have it in me. I'm not a singer, just to the right, I'm just, I'm not that into music, dad.

I'm just gonna be honest and you, and either are you. I was like, fair enough. No, my brother was like, dad, you at least a Simpson played saxophone like the time's been played. Bill Clinton plays that. He was like, do we want No, my brother was like, dad, Lisa Simpson played saxophone, like the time's a little late. Bill Clinton played that. He was like, do we want it? Yeah, he just wanted it.

In my dad's like, no, it's so cheap. Clearly not a real saxophone, like, it's 40 bucks. Yeah, I'm like, there's like 60 bucks in my house, I guess. I guess. But hey, dad, give some lessons to. Oh, yeah. We don't have a place for you. Oh, my daughter, we buy our violins,

kind of an expensive thing. She's into violin. She played it three times? No, they're so expensive. They left it on top of the car. Oh, no. And that violin fell off in the road. And guess what?

Somebody found it and somebody returned it. Oh, no. And she still plays and she's in orchestra now. That's not my story, I'm sick. and somebody returned it. And it was all the time. And she still plays and she's an orchestra now. That's not my story, I'm sick. When I was a kid, they told us all we had to pick an instrument and go home and tell your parents to buy the instrument and then we'll learn it in music class.

That's so classic. Yeah, but my parents are so cheap and rude. They're like, you don't want to learn, you're not going to learn how to play trumpet. I was like, I don't know, they told us to pick an instrument. And so they were like, we're not buying you a trumpet. So I had to go to school the next day, all the kids got their instruments,

their parents went over the weekend, bought them the instrument. And I go, my parents said I can't do it. And they go, what? They go, they said I can't have a trumpet. And then so they go, all right, so when kids would go to music class and the teacher tried to have like an hour long break.

I'm just sitting in the classroom by myself. I was just like, withdraw. He's crazy. So embarrassing. They're trying to get you bullied. Yeah. What's also like in high school, they don't do it now because there's iPads in every school has one.

But, remember when we're in high school, not you so much, we remember when in high school, and then make you buy a TI-83, the Texas instrument. The thing is like, 400 bucks. What's that? The TI-83 back then. Oh, I never made it to that high of count, but I know the smart, the smart.

I remember my dad was like, what the fuck? I was like, you left it by this calculator from Best Buy or whatever? My dad's like, I'm not buying that. It's expensive, yeah, that's good. I literally won't graduate unless I get a TI-83. And then you could download video games and write messages to your friends and shit.

Fuck, did that bring you back so many memories for me when you watch it looking at this thing and it had a case that slid off on the front of it. Also, you know TI-83. Yeah, the kids had it before you said you did. Tax front of it. Yeah, I've seen no TI-83. Yeah, the kids had it. Before you say you did. No, no, I didn't know this was called, but I would see this calculator.

I was like, oh, you guys are in good math. I was with all like the 10th graders just trying to get out of algebra one so I could graduate. Sure. Did you eat anything in college? No college, it wasn't in the cards. My GPA was like, had letters in it and shit. Like I was terrible at school.

I barely graduated. Really? It's all system though, right? You're smart, dude. It I was terrible at school. I barely graduated. Really? It's all system though, right? You're smart, dude. It's like school's just not for some reason. Well, it wasn't trying. Well, it's also like, it's not that you're learning.

You just learn how to pass text. You need context. You get to fucking, when you're a kid and they go, you're gonna learn about history. Kill me right now. What dates? Also, when are we starting? When are you gonna start this history?

Yeah, math is the same thing. Like, the only reason I kind of do well math with somebody Explain how your mind can work if you're good at math you can you can formulate a good argument and they were like they made it relevant to me Yeah, I made it like ammo for me and then I was like, oh, okay, but without that fucking I think that's anything with content Because you give me a backstory. I'm in just even with a story story. Like, my dad's like, no, you're doing this. I'm like, I don't know what fucking chapter. I would love to get school. There's nothing more boring. There's so many characters. Correct. Like make it more relatable. Correct. Correct.

Yeah, school now would be great, but I just didn't give a fuck back then. I just want to make everyone laugh. I get suspended all the time. Like, I couldn't care less. Like, all those field trips we've been on. I didn't fuck off about all that. But if you took me now, I'd be like, oh, well, my son now, I'll be like, hey, did you want me to school, and go to fucking SeaWorld or something? I'm like, no. I love school, I'm like, you're a daughter.

I don't know. And his mom, I'm like, he said the intents. And his mom'd be like, how, why would you call my daughter? I'm like, who would you go to school? Yeah, he doesn't want to say, he's not your school,

like, how do you say, nerd, though? You get a ditch school, and go to SeaWorld, he's like, SeaWorld. For with Bren and Shob, that's another part of it. You get a ditch school and go to see world. See world. For with Bren and Chobb, that's another part of it. You're like, you're famous, right? I felt so bad the other day. I told my son to sweep the floor.

But he didn't really, like, he didn't know. How does this do it? Yeah, because nobody really taught him how to sweep. And I got mad. Oh, he's a genius. He's a god just do this. He's trying to sweep it. He's trying to be delicate with it.

I could just sweep the stuff up. Man, I mean, hey, he's like, I don't know how to sweep. He knows how bad to sweep it. He's trying to be delicate with it. I could just sweep the stuff up. Man, I'm yelling at him. Hey, he's like, I don't know how to sweep it. I'm gonna have to sweep it. I'm gonna have to sweep it. Look, we had this huge fighting area. I was like, wait a minute, hold on. This kid actually just doesn't.

Nobody told him to hold it this way. Pull it towards you. There's just a technique to it. And once I told him, he's like, you could've just told me, I felt fucking terrible. You should know how to sweep though, yeah. I agree.

Yeah, but just like the basics. I can't get a janitor one day. Who the fuck am I? But also my son will do the basics. Yeah, he just like the basics. My dad and Janitor one day, who the fuck man. But also my son will do like the basics. Yeah, he can grow, he might grow up and be, your kids gotta know the basics. My dad's getting cleaning lady. Janitor.

Yeah, he could take over the cleaning system. He gotta get a sweeping as important. Tiger say stuff like this, like bossam, you know, he's to a shit as pants. Tiger, who go dad bossa has poop, get your son. Who the fuck are you talking to? That's amazing. Who the fuck are you?

Yeah, get your son. Get your son. Get your son. Boss the fuck are you talking to? That's amazing. Who the fuck are you? Yeah, get your son. Get your son. Bye, sense poop. Wow, wow. It's great. I love that he looks after his brother. Oh, dude. I got to tell you I'm pretty good.

Yeah, they talk to what you talk. Yeah, yeah. That's where they get the stuff. Yeah, it's totally. My son is more than he's watching cartoons with my baby, his half brother on his lap. Just holding on to him. They just fucking watching TV. I love that

Yeah, Tiger when we you know we go to the car show every Sunday in Malibu But they have a playground there with San in it. So boss go pop it take my shoes off and I get it It's to the shoes off. There's this little you know parents. I don't get it man. Especially in Malibu And there's this little girl throwing or I'm sorry a little kid like a Boy throwing sand and Boston's face now. He's tell tiger. I'm like pop is here. I'm a grown man I kid doing thing so when fuck through the your brother, dude you defend my dog class So I'm like I'm not gonna say anything and I see the kid throwing sand Boston's face I'm like oh, hey in my mind. I'm blood red. I'm like I'm gonna beat this. Why is it doing it? Just you know

They're fucking idiots. Yeah, my kids have never done that throwing fucking sand like I'm gonna beat this fuck that up. Just you know, they're fucking idiots. Yeah, I get them never done that Throwing fucking Sam like I'm looking at the devil. Let's go my man does nothing I like it tiger is on the swings. I just see him fucking track it. I'm like come on buddy Now you chance jump off just take a sin Right in the kids eyes like there we go there. We just Randy Johnson's not no tea. Don't do that Let's get out of here. Bottom snacks, you know? It's a way we're blinding other children with sand.

Yeah, it's just good old sand. Yeah, sand, you know what I'm saying? It's a sand part. Sand for sand, right? We got sand partying. But it was a sand partying. Tiger goes, I know it's a sand party. I'm gonna come from the swings.

He's a fuck shit. That's like Brandon, Brandon will like, like there are some actors and they'll say I want a box and I can box and Brandon goes, I'll beat you with my, I'll beat like he get, if you push him, he goes like this,

he goes, we said to this one guy goes, I'll beat you with one hand. The guy goes, what? He goes, he goes, I'll beat you with one hand.

And he goes, but I'm gonna get real with you. I'm gonna get real with the one hand. I think I was like, oh Jesus. All right, I guess we can play this if you want to one hand. I think I was like, oh Jesus, all right, I guess we can play this if you want to. What is, so this, so what you guys were describing is like a fun like threat, but it's like also,

it's got some, no, it's just that some guys, you know what I'm saying is it works the best one. Like what's like the best one you ever heard. Well, my favorite is the Delta guy who somebody said, you ever kill anybody and he goes, never stop to look brother. Yeah, see that kind of like movie line on them. Or that or the other guy who said, I know a tough guy and there was a giant man

who came out of him and they were telling this story. And I looked at him and I said, what did you do? Cause he had two black eyes, his nose was broken. The guy was huge and he looked and he just looked at me and said, I met him halfway. Let's listen to this. I got one. That's cool to say. I'm one of my best friends, Brent Tobler, very funny comedian. He's got a cousin named

Kato. Now Kato, he's not as strong as you. He's not as big as us. His name's Kato. But Kato lives in a different world. I mean, Kato, I've seen him get out of cars, just grab a brick and like do do business. You know, like the guy. He's on love on the spectrum season Third, he is the best. He's the sweetest guy, but also like he'll go there, right? So we were doing the show the Phoenix improv and Something went down with the bartender and there was some guy and Kato just defended the bartender's honor

That's what he claimed and we were like nah, this is probably what happened, but it turns out that is what happened doesn't matter This guy steps to a man Kato's not the tallest guy in the world, so we're thinking like, you know, what's gonna happen here. And the guy goes, huh? Where are you from? Kato looks up and he goes, I'm from right here, right now. That's great. That's good.

That's the best line. My buddy's had to say some people there. And he beat the brakes off. Oh, my buddy, did that. My buddy goes, I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm right now. The guy might be stealing that.

This guy, football player, big guy goes, what's your name? And my buddy who loved to fight goes, fuck you, his my name. I love that. And he was on. Most of the guy in flustered like, there's a guy who's like, he's like, so for best of the name.

For best of I want to do, I got a couple funny ideas. One is I'm going to take a combat pistol. There's a guy who teaches like, he's had a lot of, he people he's been more than so and He didn't say the story but the story was he was in Detroit. His he didn't know where he was He stops to get gas and he has this really awesome big truck and this fucking these these gang dudes came up to him gang to yeah

What color? I don't know what they were I'm too old to get into it. Gang to it. Yeah, what color thing? I don't know what they were. Gang to start it. Because the guy goes, so the guy goes, this guy's just a hardened veteran. Like I've got, I've got, I've seen some shit.

Yeah, like living it, and he's in a truck like that. And the guy goes, what do you got for us, man? What do you got for us? And the guy pulls up his thing. His blood pressure's not raised. He's got, yeah, he's like, oh, oh. The gang guy's got a gun. And the fucking dude, the fucking dude,

he just goes like that. And he just went like this. He goes, he pulled it out of his way. He just pulled out of his way. And he grabbed it. He grabbed it and chanted, oh my god. He just teed like,

woo, like that. And he pushed him into the gas and he goes, what now? What now? That's what I got for you. I got a gun and you're fucking mouth and it's yours, you bitch. Oh my god. And he goes I got for you. I got a gun in your fucking mouth and it's yours, you bitch. Oh my god.

There goes, now you can die or get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I got it. They just fucking, or it's like me, Mark's a different dude. That's a bad answer. On Saturday mornings, just me, Mark's throwing the streets of Portland. Like, we had food and coffee and we're walk around

and it was dicey, man. Of course. I was like, man, it's fucking weird around here, right? And I, no, no. The dramatic is you guys have homes. Yeah. And shoes. Yeah, they're like, mad because you guys have homes. Yeah, and shoes. Yeah, they're like hot shots. Full bellies.

Yeah, look at these toys. It is, they can afford a coffee. Oh wow, they got beanies on. But I'll still mark them like, there's a part of me that wants somebody to, I was like, I struggle with this. There's a part of me that hopes like some gang or something

with stumbles upon us. That goes, between you and me, I feel like we could handle our show. There's part of me that would love to test that theory out. I would love to see what you're made of. That's part of it. That'd be fun. Now it's on my own.

I'm like, I hope somebody fuffs with it. Just like these Portland like that. It is. There'd be somewhere we could just let loose a little bit. And if it has to be justified, because it's an the honorable man. Yeah, like no, I'm not gonna BAM to fuck with you. Yeah, I want them like hey, what the fuck you doing? I mean wronged here. What are you doing in our coffee shop? And I would just I it'd be like the Bronx dad Like mark locked the

I just squeeze him and I just like is he stretching like sure? Yeah, there's a comic in Boston I can't remember his name which sucks cuz he'd love for me to give him some credit But he got mug or not mugged but a guy put a gun in his back and was like basically, you know You know, you know, give me all your money and he this is a true story He's not not fabricated all the guy puts a gun is back goes give me all money He goes I got two dollars to my name and you're gonna have to fucking kill me to get it The guy just like this such a waste of time. Yeah, I'm not gonna shoot a guy for too long. Well it's like, Rogan was talking about this

where there's a vet, he's seen like so many tours and he was driving in when the rights were going on and he took, he was in an Uber. He was an Uber driver, but he's a former vet and the person asked to go someplace and he stumped upon where the process was happening and the guy pulls out like an AR-15 on him and he goes, Oh, that's interesting.

I served seven tours in Iraq, so I'm pretty familiar with the AR 15. Very cool, takes out his goggles. Kaka! I'm sorry, where'd you want to be dropped off at? Just shot him. Yeah, yeah. Wait, who shot who? I'm so overdivered shot that the random protester with the AR 15 because he's pointed at him which is a

That's that's that's that's that's been with deadly force and that guy's been all the tourists I met a interesting when I was overseas and someone pointed gun at me. They're trying to kill me very cool Hey, blah, blah cool. I know I drive Uber right now, but I have a history Tiki. It's called Rules of Engagement. And if you have a, but you take a lot of money, anywhere but here now. I didn't finish the Roman episode. It's with that our boy,

pulling a new war, but I'm pretty sure that guy got charged. Even though the guy pointed a automatic drive out of him, he went, oh cool, Kiki, now make sure you tip me on your way out. Yeah, well that's five star, that Uber drive. I think you're going to fucking make K-47 to somebody or an AR-15. That's a move of aggression. Well, it's rules of engagement.

You were trying to kill me and I shot that. Yeah, Chin, I don't know if that guy went to prison. I thought, I thought, but only I was saying that. I'm gonna watch the episode and Jamie found out that the investigation is still going on, so we're not sure what's gonna happen. I would be in Texas.

I'm sure that he pointed the AR-15. He could be worth his life. I really just had that witness. The back's like, yeah gonna happen. I'm also tough to prove that he pointed they are 15. He can be really just has that witness. Now witness in the back like yeah, no, I'm scared for my life. He pulled they are 15. He's like yeah, no doubt. Bobbi and you're all right then. Maybe he'll be able to. What's like that Kyle written house?

He's like us. Super stuff. Yeah, because he's making all you know, he's the evidence. He's really suiting, suing, biting, Oprah and, I hope he makes money too. Oh, money, dude, Bubba, I'll make 500 million dollars. Probably.

Like, dude, just go through it. LeBron, billionaire, Oprah, billionaire, Biden, probably a billionaire that we don't know about, right? So it's like, they're just gonna set them like, hey, each one of you more on, because you later on me, a racist said, I shot black people, which I shot mainly white, peeling bad people, right?

And there was nothing racist behind it. And I was in the court of law found innocent and you put a fucking label on my head and painted the native this way. I want a hundred million from each you bitches. Otherwise, we're going to court. I'm for sure going to win. Well, because yeah, like the media, he'll make up no joke. Quite a minimum of 50 million.

The trial of media suggested like just saying Kyle Rennas' name is like a big-ass thing. But did you see when you saw the evidence from it? This kid was fucking now. But even me, I went, oh that's terribly shut bike people. And then you look at it, like, oh my God, that guy pointed gun at him. He defend himself. He killed a white guy in the head with a- He killed a white guy.

He killed a white guy. And one white guy was a rapist, like a pet file-hester. Yeah, it's insane. And crazy. Yeah, I think. His frame is totally the opposite. Oh dude, you watch, I was watching the trial close, you're like, holy shit.

Try to even bring up Kyle Ridd and has his name on stage. See it, quick, the audience. Oh, they will, I've done it. You can't even look at facts. No, but wherever you at be, Texas, that's the problem. California, don't you? All they know is that's that kid that did that racist thing.

Yeah, I have friends still that are like, nobody looks into it. Oh, I can't believe he's going after seeing it, I'm like, but they, they, they, they like. They don't want to look into it. I have some Fauci and Newsom and Garcetti jokes in LA and the crowd. Yeah. Dude, they'll turn on you, man.

Yeah. Well, which is so, I'm like, what? Like, obviously, the political figures up for jokes, like no matter where you side on, who gives a fuck? Because he's, because the media successfully connected him to supremacist. You know, whenever I made fun of Donald Trump on stage, nobody ever told me to stop being political.

Yeah. They were always so fine with it. Trump was like, And then I do a Joe Biden joke or I say, like, I think I'm a guy because I have a dick and they're like, stop picking on the trans. You're like, I'm not. What else you got, you know, this right there?

Oh, so it's my boy, Miles Teller. He's fantastic. Dude, you know him. You know, you know, I'm very well. We lived together my first became L.A. No, she's great. Yeah. How is that?

He's really good friends with Scotty McKnight. And I play football with. Oh, wow. And I remember when I met him at at the time he was doing shit, he was like booking small roles. And I remember thinking, God, that his confidence, not cocky, but his confidence was crazy, because he goes, oh, I'm gonna be the next Marlon Brando.

And I go, good luck with that. You remember, that's like pretty big stage. I'm hoping Mike are going, I'm gonna be the next Dave Atelier. How fun with that, Mike. That journey is just the statement is a great thing. But Larry, however, he's a musician, right? Draw a map.

Draw a map, play an actor through and through. And he goes on with the next Marlon Brandt out of it. Oh, how fun with that, but anyway, I kept going. Sure. I mean, kids crushing it. Crush it. But so this story is. Oh, he's fantastic.

The story is hilarious. So because he's in the new top gun and he's flying the planes all the time. He, he's flying the planes and he's around the planes all the time. And then he just breaks out in hives. Like his body has some crazy allergic reaction. He was the doctor to get blood work. He can't take a bath and like, oh, or something to get rid of the hives. And so they've oatmeal. And so the doctors give him his, uh, tux collage report back. And he has jet fuel in his bloodstream because he's been around planes and the jet.

So it's super poisonous. This is a story. That's so method. But how crazy is this? He goes up to Tom Cruise the next day, Tom Cruise. Man, you all right? How you feeling? Did you get in reports back and he goes,

yeah man, they said I have jet fuel in my system. And this is the most Hollywood thing of all time. Tom Cruise goes, I was born with it, brother and walks away. You know what? Hey, you know what? By the way. Hollywood thing about time Tom Cruise goes I was born with it brother and walks away You know what hey, you know what by the way so by the way shout out to Tom Cruise No, no seriously I almost died yesterday time I'm my blood poison He was he passed on my goes I was born with it brother and walks away You'd be like oh he and by the way, I believe that Tom Cruise I, I don't know how I believe he believe me that movie. He was 60

I don't know how old he was I he's unbelievable. I didn't I saw with my son fucking unbelievable on real I mean dude he's still doing it. Have you seen it? I haven't seen it. I'd never go to movie theater No, but it's also it's also I don't like sitting by someone and not talking. I'm a talker. No, dude, dude, dude, but that one, you like, my girl, it's a throwback to the shit. Like she's more, it's a patriotic, oh, I was like, I was like this.

I don't think any more of that in the, but, but it's a, it's a real, I can't get enough. It's a reaction to the woke thing. It's a literal movie, men, women, gender lines are strong, America, the great. It's all this fucking, it's like I am this movie. Proud. It's honor, duty, life, and that shit. He'd be white, white. Why do you think that's the biggest movie in America? Correct. Because it's because that's only but Buzz Light, you're not doing well. But explain that. Exactly. Because I thought everyone

agreed with no. Well, it's a reaction. It's a fucking reaction. I know, but why is the top shendermen so well? It's straight out. I know. I don't get it. It feels good, movie, weird. America is not all but everyone's sick of this shit. And then when you celebrate America, Americans go,

yeah, that's what we're about. Of all colors. You got a Hispanic woman, you got black dudes. Yeah, she's the worst pilot. But yes, she was. I think she's so hot. That movie I shot one of the wardrobe ladies who was really cool, her name's Jessica,

but I just said I love America, and she goes careful now. And I go, what? I just said I love America. You don't love America? She goes, that's how dangerous things get started. And I go, saying that I love America, you can.

That's how Nazis start. And I go, but I just showed how little she was, to love your country is a dangerous path to go It's like what are you talking about? I'm when I was touring overseas in like Australia I was in London Dublin and I'd go in the taxis they go to your American hot and they'd like make fun of us and I'd like What nothing will write you like this is the way you view us. Yeah. Are you out of your fucking mind, dude? That's great. What's wrong with the country?

It will fight you right and what? I'm not even in the military. I'm, what the fuck is happening? Yeah, it was when Trump was president, so like, oh, Trump, blah, blah, blah. Oh, man, there's a lot of them. Bro, look at your fucking country. Yeah.

You're making fun of us. I can name your guy. Yeah, yeah, you know our guy. Yeah, you know our guy. Yeah, you know our guy Well, you know well. Yeah, well, well, the enjoying that cheeseburger, dude What do you think that came from also? It's cool. We're like a melting pot. So we have all the cultures We've all the same people like that careful now and this woman said I didn't want an American flag of my classroom It made me feel uncomfortable. You get the fuck out of it. I would go fuck bro

I would pull my kid from the dude that I draw the dude get all the fuck out of here then go go somewhere else. Oh you you want me to fire you up real quick? I can't so my my father was a police officer highway patrol for 30 years and He retired he goes it's not safe the new DA's out of control. They're letting criminals off. It's not safe for anybody This week early in the, two cops were ambushed and shot and killed. Yeah, it's all that. And another guy was shot in the face four times. He's gonna survive it.

But the two cops that were killed because of Garçon, our DA, this guy is a gang member who was on parole and violated his parole should have been in prison. But there are two back there. He called that piece of shit. Recall that piece of shit. So he'll hold on, because he went to jail, they slapped on the wrist for beating his wife with a gun.

He pulls a knife on his wife, his wife goes, this isn't safe, I'm going to go to a hotel. He later that night falls into the hotel, She calls the cops, gives my husband's ear and with a knife he's trying to kill me. We need to do some. Two cops show up, he ambushes them, kills both of them. And then he gives them a shout out to cops dies. But prior to that, Violet Pearl, multiple time criminal and Garçon slap on the wrist.

Talk to a cop about this right now. You will fucking be ready to run through a fucking brick wall. I was going to mind over it. About Garçon and how it's so easy. It was predictable. That's what LA and the people that vote him in are people, a lot of times the people that support someone like Gaston are people that live

in Gated Communities or have their own private security. Talk to cops about that. Talk to cops about the Garçon right now. Talk to them. But also with Garçon, remember Garçon was the DA Talk to them. But also, but, but with Garçon, remember, Garçon was the DA in San Francisco. Mm-hmm. So, shit show up there.

To me, that'd be like, I got all the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that'd be, that'd be like a quarterback to 40 interceptions. Yeah. And the Broncos would be like, you know what? I like what he did with that. Yeah.

We'll take 100%. And then he throws 15 and seven. Like, what the fuck? How was we know? Yeah. Well, we didn't know it was a cop. Garçon was a cop. Gartham is a cop. So crazy.

What else you have to do? Fucking dish bag. A lot of cat news today. One more to go. Hey, there we go. This wasn't that graphic. I think they ended it. It's another cat story.

They cut right. You were a kid. I'm making a point with Martin. And this is all just randomly showed up. I didn't type in dangerous cats. No, this guy just looks at it, right? I would never, like, you just, he deserves it.

He's feeding time too. So why is he gonna hit and they're gonna be feeding time? It's not a never. So it is pretty graphic B because this, right? And then it cuts to that. That'd be graphic, right? Yeah, well he got his hand. You know what's terrific?

This video, he's getting a video advantage. He got his hand bit off. But dumb dumb. But also the guy recording, could you jump in and help the guy? Yeah, yeah. He's like, holy shit. My world star.

What was a girl? I think it was a girl filming. Well, you probably had better luck if there's not a fencer, because you're pulling away, and a cat's not going to let go of something pulling. You could almost go in, like, you can play with a cat and go into his it. I didn't know he died. He's used to rush the house where you refused to allow doctors to amputate

his badly mangled hand by the tiger before dying of a heart attack. He was only 23 years old. So that was terrible for him. He went through such shock. And he's like, now just leave my hand like, what what? What hand? That is that's that's stories people that that happens I don't know you die grief people with a grief that that school that that school shooter that shot his wife who's a teacher the next day he died of heart stress broken heart yeah yeah stress that's right horrible but mark the point of all the yeah he brought the no my friends are yeah cats are on a reason stick anyway.

Yeah. You're gonna have to put, that's what I'm doing this. That's why I'm doing all this. You're gonna have to put those cats down, man. No, no, just leave it. Just leave it. My point is they're gonna leave these cats. Get around, kid.

We might have to, that's the mark doing in control. Why would I? Nothing. This is the butt. It's a deep cut. I think that's pretty much it. Yeah, unless you guys wanna hear about the Eagle eradication line, I'll ask somebody to tell you what.

The Eagle eradication line, so it's somebody posted on the last clip that we posted because we're talking about Eagles. And this is a joke page where it's like, we need to get rid of all eagles. Like, to our eradication. Eagles, he's flying past. Yeah, he was hot.

I do love this kind of stuff. Like, birds aren't real. Because people are taking this super seriously. Pigeons, spies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, I believe in that. What I love is like, eagle eradication.

We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up.

We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally shut us up. We need to literally in the face. She's no different than the YouTuber.

Like some of the shit she says, like, what is that true? Yeah, she's got the heavy dude. What? What did you say? So she's got the heavies. What's that, oh, titties? I have to see if she's attractive. I've only seen those like deep fix

where it's like her face on like a porn star or something like and I thought it was real. I decided to a fran, he goes, it's not real. It's a bummer she's so attractive. It'd be way better if she was like a warlock. What is it? She's out of her mind. I read a weird thing that she is hot.

She's so hot. Go to the news though, Jen. She's hot, right? And read this. Yeah, what is it? What is it like? If you go to all the news or all. What's spark this, AOC, that.

Yeah, but she thinks we should all die because we're white guys. This one? You know, I kind of agree with you though. I don't think so. She calls me an oppressor and I don't support that. I have a lot of white guilt. I'm not a colonizer or an oppressor. You're not.

No, she didn't do anything. No, sorry, my kids. You're in denial about it. You're in denial about it. It's your fault. Not my fault. Everybody, let's take a look at that. She's just a trash.

That's true. Then she went to the Met Gala and wore that like $5,000 dress, I'm sorry about who she married to. Tax the rich. Yeah, tax the rich. It's a tough one, I'm sorry. It's a smart, being a wealthy self-respect. I never heard that before.

Do you imagine being her husband? Like, would you just shut up for two seconds? That guy. Oh, Red Hat, don't trust him. That guy. Giant Red Hat. Do that guy, such a cock? Imagine being married to it.

Like you're just Like she's married to a white guy with a red beard Correct the redhead. She's full of shit. I don't think she believes any of the stuff she's saying She is gorgeous. She can't believe all the stuff. She's saying if that's her husband Dude, I bet she comes in. She's like where's dinner bitch? Hey fire. Ah, hey firecrutch, where the fuck's my meal? Where exactly? He's so sorry. Hey, cuck, boy, where's my toast? It looks like a giant though, it looks like a giant man. Oh wow, I wouldn't think that.

And some of them, he looks strong, and some of them, he looks weak. Jesus Christ, who's that? What is going on here? That's right, the thing, see this is tax the rich, although it costs $150,000 to eat a meal at that. Oh, they're not married. They're engaged. Boyfriend. Yeah. Interesting, right? Yeah. A single vice president. Has that ever happened? Oh, she's like a boating. Not chance. Not chance. No. We learned our lesson

with Kamala Harris. Yeah. Who's also back in the day very attractive. Yep. That's crazy. But her, you're not messing. She has some political sweater hitters. I am such an idiot. She has some liberal hitters, dude. I thought that was the vice president. Oh, no. I can see that, man. You don't follow politics. He's like, I don't follow the politics.

You go, you go, you go, you go. No, she's not going to get in. I was like, wait, wait. I don't follow him. He does come all the way here. He does come all the way here. Well, there we have it that's good thing there's another vice president is

you have guys not political yeah that we know the sports no yeah you're now you're with me at the shop and friends on when yes sir me Adam Krolet Trevor Wallace can be good Craig we have very special guests live coming yes to be beast and then

where you at and then not this weekend, but next weekend, I'm at CB Live in Phoenix, Arizona. I love that room, I love those shows. Please come. And then Mike Drop Comedy Club in San Diego, it's a new club, it's a great club. And they're July 22nd, 23rd. And then Tampa, Florida in August.

That'd be fun. Two nights, I'm gonna try and throw out a first pitch for the raise while I'm out there. Ooh. Two teams. Yeah, and at least favorite team. So those are those are the dates come come check them out They're gonna be fun and then like I said like I said Jeff and I will be at the improv Wednesday night with Trevor Wallace Adam Krola Craig and then a very special guest at Shobben friends once show only at 8 p.m. In Hollywood, California

Hollywood improv and then the trash panda summer tour continues in Fort Wayne, Indiana, July 14th through the 16th, San Diego, California is July 21st through the 23rd of the Lafactor and the heart of San Diego. Baltimore is August 4th through the 6th. And then just at his Appleton, Wisconsin, September 8th through the 10th, Houston's on their Boston's on their getcha tickets at FATKZ.com or thinkboy.com. Also thinkboy.com, I don't know they were doing this big of a discount.

It's 50% off the entire goddamn website. 50% off just for Father's Day. That ends, I think Sunday night, go to thinkboy.com right now for the Father's Day sale. This is for all the dads out there. You get 50% off, you're welcome. Nice. Brooke Phil Wisconsin, Milwaukee and proud July 21, 22, 23.

Catch yourself some Austin, Texas, Capsidies, July 28 to the 30th. Nashville, Tennessee, Zanies, August 25. Yeah, four great clubs there. Big clubs. And then my episode, Best of doing well on YouTube. And we got another one. Travel right now. Yeah, got another one on Monday.

Every Monday we're gonna be dropping best of. Every Monday. Yes, sir. Is this caught up today? No, no, no, no, no. It's going to happen in the month. Oh, yeah, so today. So the Monday are Wednesday.

Yeah, so this, this, this, Brian, as you guys listen, it's Brian's in Greece. I'm in Greece. Brian's a, and I've, I have my skeptical hippo eyes about this, you know, jet Greece. Yeah, you're a toilet girl You know I'm talking you think so you're gonna be doing something for that private jet thing. So I'm a yeah I will do something you're gonna take out those vis lines daddy's going to work right? Yeah, I gotta take the Bit of these lines out. Do you want me to lose these? Yeah, okay free, right?

I will say nobody on the boat speaks English. So I don't know what that means, but what I know I'm wearing something I'm there. They have an outfit. You wear some of them. I'm wearing the Americans speaks English, so I don't know what that means, but I know I'm wearing something, they have an outfit. You're wearing some of the American flag. Yeah, so that's it. So my policy is fucking sick. It's gonna be hot. Alright kids, we love you, Jeff Dye, you're the best. Thank you Jeff.

It was a great, finally kid. And the last bro, we're out.