The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 820: Nocturnal Admissions With Paul Virzi

Episode Date: August 3, 2022

Comedian Paul Virzi joins the boys to talk about his new special Nocturnal Admissions as well as dogs freaking out over fireworks and large crowds of joggers, suspiciously strong homeless guys, Bostonian Male's extreme difficulty giving compliments, coming up as a comic in black rooms, the unique charms of skank fest, balancing road life with raising kids, Paul's son's new found fishing obsession and more reactions to Andrew Tate clips. Better Help: https://betterhelp.com/fighter for 10% OFF your first month Chime: https://www.chime.com/fighter/  DraftKings: https://www.draftkings.com/ Promo Code: Fighter DraftKings: If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/NJ/ NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. N/A in NH/OR/ON. New customers only. Min. $5 wager required. Risk free bet paid out in the form of non-withdrawable free bet token; max. $1,000. Eligibility restrictions apply. Offer ends 8/14/22. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the fighter and the kid Hyde the runner back cause we back at 8 a.m. Yeah, we gon' keep it moving like it's never gonna end When it was brining, when it was bright And when it was just talkin' to friends We got the kid gallin' on the left With the fighter on the right Hey, how'd they do it right?

Cause we comin' at your life Back with the team, how'd they keep it OG? Must see TV I'm outta do it Yes we did cause we back at 8 a.m. It's the fighter and the kid It's the fight on the kids. It's the fight on the kids. Back at it again.

It's the fight on the kids. It's the fight on the kids. Back at it again. It's the fight on the kids. It's the fight on the kids. It's the fight on the kids. It's the fight on the kids. This is really the fight on the kid. We're out.

Dude, to turn down 400 million, you just don't like the city. You're like, I'm not saying I'm fucking ten years. So there's this baseball player, he's named Soto. He's bought Soto. He played sort of Washington. He's, you know, played the best playing league right now. Like his, he's like, he's like a phenom, yeah. So Washington does, well, we don't want you going anywhere. We're gonna give you the max deals at whatever time. It was like, it was like 10 years, 400 million something.

Almost 500 million. So much money. He goes, 400 million. 400 million to kill him there for the rest of his career. There's nothing. Excuse me. He said no. He said no.

And the podger, he's got him yesterday. He went to San Diego. Did he really? Yeah. Oh, fuck, he's so dangerous. He's a podger. no. He said no. He and the pod and the podra's got him yesterday. He went to San Diego. Did he really? Yeah? Oh, what are you doing? He's a podre. How much do you sign up for with his puddles? I mean around this max Yeah, like you know, you're just like no, I'm good because he knew though and he didn't know he was good Oh, he's so good. Yeah, he knew that he was gonna get a man. I'll just go. I'll take my skills to fucking San Diego. Yeah, watch it Our boy big big George,

Keto George, it's Mark Harley's birthday. Oh, happy birthday to you. There's a two on the day to you. That's a nice, this is in cake. Wow, that is a really nice looking cake. And I was going to say, the two is on there because I'm doing two podcasts today You know and I'm just on the phone just hey can't talk right now super busy day I never stop I just

Can't stop all stops like you know that cake looks like it's made of mud. I'm gonna be honest with it Yeah, you don't look a day over 19 your night You look like the biggest two-year-old in the history of You like 19 you look like the biggest two-year-old in the history of 39 a district. Oh happy birthday, man. Thank you. I appreciate it guys You've I you know, I don't expect much from anyone Brendan and you guys have made it a very fun very memorable birthday Of course brother happy birthday. Couldn't couldn't be happier to be here. So good What

I can't let it's bothering you. Yeah, please do so we don't set this Do you know I'm fine? So also the the think boy team also got mark you know, just marked as like the splurge when he's not as that They got him I don't know 10 pounds of McDonald's breakfast. It was awesome I didn't eat all of it yet, but just knowing that it's there and having one of the sandwiches so far has been amazing Now your birthday was as good as Juan Soto's. Get him some MLB's first $500 million deal. He's just one of the, he's got all the tools. He does, he's got all the tools.

You know, he's just one of those guys that's just. I didn't know they signed, it's just five hours ago. You're up on it. Appreciate that. I thought I was yesterday. Yeah, that's half a billion dollars. That's half a billion. I'm not going to sign all of that.

Dollars. It's half a billion. Hydrocyan all start. Dollars. It's half a billion. And I don't know, this gonna sound stupid, but I didn't know that there was a big enough audience. I thought the attendance on baseball is falling. Don't care about tenets. What? This was not about tenets.

TV. I think baseball in this weird way this year's coming back slightly. I agree. And I took my son to Yankee Stadium the other night. Wait, I did that shit on the whim. Like my wife and daughter were going out to and where you taking Luke my elucus is 13 and Sophie is 10. So she goes me and Sophia are going to you know, a friend's house gonna go swimming. She was

going to take Lucas to dinner. So I go in his room and I just five o'clock. Okay, I go. You want to play video games? Buddy, what are you doing? He just goes, I don't know. Yeah, maybe and I go, fuck, dude, you want to go to stadium? Yeah, and I go to stay. So I'm gonna take him, buddy. What are you gonna do when he just goes, I don't know, yeah, maybe, and I go fuck that. You wanna go to Stadia? And I go to Stadia, so I'm gonna take him to Yankee Stadia, because I do shit like I should go. Really Paul Tuesday night, just kid's gonna go fuck it. And I go and we're getting good seats. So we get low, low seats, go down,

they play Cincinnati Reds. Great time, 80 degrees, no humidity, I'm got a beer. When my son just watched it. We went in the bottom of the, nothing better. We went in the bottom of the pan for walkoff. It was a wild pitch walkoff. walk, it was a wild pitch walk. No, it was a wild pitch.

We had to run around third, wild pitch, come home, place goes nuts, go home. Our 20 with the children. The memories for your son though. I remember when my dad went and was like a school night and we'd do something cool. I mean, we didn't go to Yankee Stadium back then but you were going to have money.

But it was like, you can even just go to the mall and you get all the pizza because because they were throwing it out, and you pay like $10, you get like 10 pizzas. Yeah. And there's a great guy, those memories I don't forget. It isn't funny, my kids, they don't get it, man. They got their feet up in Lexus,

you gotta see, I saw a picture of you and your kid in a Ferrari. It's like, I grew up in a fucking, my parents had those old wagons, and it was just a jalapie, it was orange, it was always fucked up, and we'd go out to eat maybe once a month and it would be like a shitty food deal. Yeah, now my son wanted to go fishing in Panama. He fucking, he goes, he goes, he goes,

he gets in the way, he's like, he wanted to go fishing in Panama. He's like, Dad, can we go to France for a week? I'm like, you guys don't understand. No, they don't, and listen, me and my wife made the choice to give, we want that, but at the same time, it's like, you got to kind of understand what's happening here. Well, I think if you give your kids experiences,

no matter what, like experiences. So if they go to France, they go to Panama, that's a fucking experience that's worth paying for. But yeah, you let them know by the time. Yeah, so flyin' first class and show you like, you let them know. I just like first class, I was 30 a little faster. Yeah, also, like my, same thing, my buddy, our boy Kevin Bay.

Call me, I told you a story, my buddy Kevin Bay, who he worked with all the All Star pictures and stuff. He was a man, the All Star games in LA. This is the day of the All Star game. I go, it is, he goes, yeah, I have two tickets in the suite. You wanna go? I'm like, and this was at like three o'clock on Monday, and he Swiss have Jiu-Jitsu, and I'm like,

you know what, fuck, it was the home run derby. Like, you, he's gonna be more excited about that, dude. We get there, we're in the Dodger sweet bro. The Dodger, the owner of the Dodger, next to me is Kevin Durant, to the left is back to Johnson, we're there, and he's chicken tenders and the free food and all this shit. And I can see, I was a little,

he gave him his home run derby, I'll little board myself. And after four batters, and I seem just staring at the ground. And now before this, let me take the video. Before this, he wanted merch. That's why he likes the jerseys on it. Yeah, yeah. We all get the merch at the stadium.

They only sell the authentic one. So I get myself a Dodgers All Star. I get the kids one. Yeah. They're like $800. No, no, no, the kid jerseys. She has honey, you have to, this is all we have is the authentic ones, even the kids one. Yeah. They're like $800. No, no, no, no, the kid shows she is, honey, you're, you're the, this is all we have is the authentic ones, even the kids. I'm like, this is it.

She was, yeah, and I know I'm, you know, in person, I'm like, I'll take them and I'm like, I'm like, oh, yeah. And then my head, I'm like, well, I didn't pay for the ticket. So this ain't even out, right? Yeah. So we sit down. I can tell he's bored and he's staring at the ground and I go, what the fuck, what's wrong with you?

Yeah. He was, how much longer? Oh my God. Oh my God. So next, Mac Johnson. I'm pale. He has how much longer I go. I endowed it, Trigger Mario.

What'd you say? What's how I'm showing you? What do you bore? He has, I mean, when did the doctors come out? I brought, I've been over this. And now I'm just in a bad mood, I go, we just went over this dude. It's a home under, they're hitting home runs,

that's all you go to baseball games for. There could be nothing better. And I go we just went over this dude. It's a home on Derby. They're hitting home runs That's all you go to baseball games for there could be nothing better and I go do look around you These are the best seats in the house, and he looks over the railing with the front row of the suite Oh my god, he looks only as those are the best ones I think oh my god, and I got a ride he's not though. That's the right. That's right. He's not though I go no dude. They're in the sun. They don't have their own bathroom And they got to look we're like we got Spanish. Yeah, I go also I go I go I go I go I go look around you do I get into this is really I'm trying to be quiet. That is I go like this. Yeah, it's magic Johnson with the greatest basketball players all the time. He owns the daughters. He could say anywhere he wants he's here next to us. I get

into that is I go like this and I see Kevin right looking like that is that's your dad's favorite basketball player. That is the best basketball player on fucking Durant looking at it. That is that's your dad's favorite basketball player That is the best basketball player on fucking earth. He's in he has more money than anybody. You know, you talk to him or now to rent Yeah, I go he's in anybody anywhere he wants. He's in he's an arch suite, dude. Yeah, it's dead quiet after that, right he goes That's not LeBron James. Oh my god, dude Oh, Brian James. Oh, my God, dude. Oh. Everybody heard it.

I pretended, you know what I do? And that's it. I pretend it never happened. I just stood at the sky. Oh, shit. Yeah. Did you talk to Cam Grant? Yeah.

I had to rant. Yeah. I mean, just for a second. Yeah. Did you apologize, amen? He likes you. He's joking. Oh, the dude, he's fucking.

He was like, he doesn't even like LeBron. I was like, he's fucking kids. I told him to say, I was fucking, was he allowed enough to beat it? Yeah, I'm just gonna say. I'm gonna strike him. Dude, we need to LeBron, she was on. We, so I do, that's hilarious. I do a firework show and I'm Fourth of July

and I go really fucking big, okay? And it means a lot to me to have people come up, I mean, I'm talking big. Is it legal? No, no, no, to me to have people come up, I mean, I'm talking big. Is it Lee-hoo? No, no, no, no. Okay. So, it's, no, I mean, I had a Italian friend drive up, dude, I had shit that comes off the Macy's barge.

In my, in my next to my neighbor's house. My neighbor's roof looked like a fucking jet blue fuselage blew up over his house. I swear to God, he was real pissed. He threatened me with a gun actually. There's my wife's been out here clean, dude, like debris everywhere. So I go real big, like in everybody's like,

oh, I'm clapping and stuff. But I go so big that the show is not like so, so long. So it's like a nice show. We start with the smaller ones, still go, but then the little bath of time, everybody's. It's dizzying then. It's like, you know, we do like a fifth, I do like a 13 to 15 minute bath.

But a real, like yeah. It's a long time. So we go the next night, we go to a party. And like now I'm not the host. I don't got a grill shit. I don't got to do anything. Now I get to put my feet up with my family and I get to let somebody else be the fourth of July, you know, host and party.

And all of a sudden, 9 o'clock comes New York, everyone. Hey, guys, fireworks in like 15 minutes, we're by the pool. Have a drink. Well, this is great. This fucking dude backed up a pickup truck. He backed up a Italian kid. Italian kids can't, they have to just go big. This guy's garage backed up a pickup truck. He backed up a tie and kid. A tie and kid's can. They have to just go big.

This guy's garage looks like a fake. They got a fucking guy. Dude, this guy, they got a minnowed guy. Yeah, yeah. This guy went, he pulled up his pickup truck and they went into the coldest sack and they go, all right, everybody out in the front yard. This month for 55 minutes.

Oh my God. This fucking guy blew up this guy and I'm just sitting there. I'm going on, oh, this is nice. This is nice when you're gonna stop You're gonna stop and my son just walks over when he just goes. Sorry dad Show so and I go what the fuck so now next year. What's up? Get over? No next year next year. I'm now I'm good. I'm going 56 minute. No you're the promise. I don't know what firecracker is 56 minute. That's too long I don't need her so I's about 15 years, bro.

After 10, I'm like, got it. Yeah, a little girl, a little girl whose friends, you know, all the kids know each other, a little girl goes, I like the Verses one a little better because it's like shorter. This one just kind of kept going on. So that made me feel good,

but my son walking over, looking at me, just, you know, he let me, he knew like that I was called out without being called out. So I was like, okay. Let's take a break, dude. Here we are, the break boys. We're the break room, bro.

We're the break room boys. Break room boys, break room boys, break room boys, break room boys, break room boys. Got a little weird at the end. Got a little weird. And it was tough. Now you're eating some ice cream cake and stressed out. Dude, you need to talk, don't be stressed, dude.

You know what happens to be, I get stressed. and I don't think it gets better with age. I wake up in the middle of the night, I wake up too early, I fret all the time, I need help. Because I work out. I work out a lot of my body. I work out a lot of my body. You work out in your body, but you gotta work on the brain.

That's where our friends at BetterHelp come into place, man. Online therapy. There are plenty of ways to support your healthy brain. Like learn new language or take in power naps. But listen, there's also online therapy with better health. Better health is online therapy that offers video phone, even live chat, only therapy sessions so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to, but you can.

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of stride bank and a members FDIC, early access to direct deposit funds depends on payer. Chime.com slash fighter. Did the the I know a couple that adopted a dog and they brought it to the beach on 4th of July in Manhattan Beach and These high school kids were letting off those giant Emmities that you shoot in the air like boom. You know, it's like we're like oh Jesus Yeah, yeah, well that dog heard that sound and just triggered started running and didn't stop running. They lost that dog. They didn't find that dog. They lost that dog.

They lost that dog forever. Well, what it does to dogs, what it does to a dog psyche, it's like it's really like almost torturous. So I said one year my dog got out. He's fucking freaking out because he's trying to protect. He's biting at the spot. he's trying to protect he's biting at the spot Yeah, I'm trying to protect us. Yes, and I go get the fucking dog inside because to them even when I were even when he Here's a neighbor from far away. He just hears a pop. He goes up. It does something to their ears, but to them

It's like an attack. Yeah, but that's how you went with him fucking Vietnam Iraq like That loud noise. Yeah, but that dog't you dog ran And it never it never came back yourself dog ran down the beach pieces shit like through the sand Yeah, fast they can run just get with his ears back like that running running and a dot on the horizon See you later. I can say in ball looking for the dog all fucking day One of the funny things I ever seen in my life, I was, I talked about this on the Versa Effect years and years ago, and I was crying. I couldn't get it out.

There was a, there was like a marathon, like a bunch of joggers. And it was like through a neighborhood. It was like for a cause. And you know the way when a dog sees people run, it just runs, this poor fucking dog just comes out in a parade of people and just kept going and it just couldn't It just kept following people and it wouldn't stop dude

No and it ended up going five five I can't just exhaust it Well my buddy my buddy in Philly I told his story before but he got out of he beat up a bunch of cops He's the biggest strong scum of what he picked he's picking cops up throwing them They're fucking hitting Billy clubs and they let the dog out on them. This is the, he's going to jail you fight a bunch of cops and Philly you're going to jail Your fuck was 90s? Yes, it's in the 90s and you're gonna get it's in the 90s and it might have even been in the lady Ladies, yeah, you're gonna get the fucking kid. Well, out of the way, the nobody has cameras. You're gonna get the shit kick that You punch a cop. It's really fucking up.

And Philly, he was a football player and played for Penn. So he's picking these guys up and if he's fucking, he's drunk, and he's fighting them all in your size. And so they let the dog out on him. And the only reason he didn't get fucking any charges was because the dog comes out. He sees the dog.

He takes a cop, throws it on the dog. The dog, the cop falls on the dog, the dog kind of, you know, disoriented. And then my buddy kicks the dog in the fucking ass. Just kicks it really hard in the ass. There's a canine dog. This is a canine dog. The German Shepherd German. German. German. German. German. German. German. German. The German Shepherd gets disoriented. Seize a dude across the street. Run it.

He was running, you know, I don't know, this car or something. Yeah. The those dogs, their prey drive kicks in. Dog goes, that's the target. No. Runs across street. Bites the guy here. Oh my God. Right on the side. Now that's a wolf. And they don't let go of that lap. They don't start ripping. So get some here and start shaking, obviously. That's how you got out.

Now when a shepherd gets your, you go, ah, you fall down. Well, the lawyer, it becomes a huge case and the fucking, it's like, you know, it made, there's a, he has the article framed. It made, there's a, there's this giant black female cop in a neck brace. Like, test him.

But he got off because that dog, because that guy was suing the plot, the part they wanted all to go away. No, bro, those can't on cops will kill you. On the news, you know, in LA, I don't know how, where you're at, and if there's like a high speed chase, so they stop everything, like it's fucking nuclear war. Like here, like Ukraine Ukraine Russia war just got announced

they stopped all of it just to show this dude in a fucking Prius on a highway you know I guess is important here it's a big deal yeah dude two nights ago I'm watching I can't get enough of me anyway I'm watching it this dude stole some cards on the run I'm like let's see how this pans out and the cops aren't allowed to chase him you know that they have to back off because they don't want them to like wreck other people. So they follow behind the... They follow behind pretty far, right? And kind of just like, yeah.

Because someone died, they were chasing him and the criminal like, veered to the right and killed somebody. So now that by all they have to back off, they follow him and hope he runs out of gas and they do the thing. So this dude's doing, he's going down one on one right here. He's fucking going down, they're following him like,

well this is it, dude. If he's the full tank Let's take fucking hours. Yeah, he fucking pulls over goes to get out. They just someone was like really still fucking Hound and this is live on TV. So he's running on the fucking highway Someone released the hounds and I apparently I saw this row That's why the commentage So on this, bro, I saw that. That's why the commentage, I saw the commentate,

the newscast didn't know how to deal with it because it's live so they can't edit. This dude gets a nile. He gets ee. Yeah. You see him on life. Ah! No, like, oh, let's take a break.

That was multiple dogs. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, one dog. No, I think it was one. It was one bell to mount. Let's take a break. KT, like, oh, they're like, oh, you know what? We will keep you posted on how it is. You're like, oh, you just blood and drums are going up.

We'll be back on the ground. Oh, no. You're just like, okay, let's, we're gonna say a quick break. Was it all shepherds? Or no, yeah, yeah, dude. Fantastic. That's fucking s-

My buddy, my buddy, he's walking down, he and this other group, they're football players, rival football. They start, they're fighting, they're talking, back and forth, back at this bullshit. You know that fucking New York shit, fuck you bitch, let me do this. But this is Philly actually in Pennsylvania. Blah blah blah.

So there's a park. Next thing you know, my friend starts fighting with this other dude, and they're fucking going at it. And my buddy goes, I'm getting the best of the guy, huh, Tom? And all of a sudden, these homeless dudes jump on my back. These, these bombs, they're all raggedy and stuff and they jump, they're all dirty.

But the thing is, they're fucking strong. And the next thing I know, he's got, he's got one guy's on his arm, the other guy's on the other guy's, on his legs, and they're carrying him. He's being carried guy's on his arm, the other guy's on his legs, and they're carrying him. He's being carried by these homeless guys. Sacrifice. But he's going, they're going to take him to their lair and he's going, ah, he's screaming.

He looks over, his friends aren't helping. His friends are being talked to by a cop. They weren't homeless dudes. They were fucking cops on a sting and they had this whole thing and these fucking idiots ruined the whole thing. You fucking idiot. And so I couldn't figure out why they were fucking so fucking strong. They were all jack cops who were fucking fed.

It's like you ruined everything, you fucking idiot. We were waiting to do this. I don't know what they were going to do. Yeah, there's homeless guys who are really strong. Yeah, he was like, it's me. Yeah, he was like, it's me these homeless guys are really strong. He was against me. Yeah, and that's, it seemed bad. Yeah, that's,

he said they were strong, cause I can't fucking move. And they were taking, they were taking him somewhere. Now Paul, your swagger's a little different, right? You came in here, your swagger's a little different. Well, you're a very famous comic, cause you're special blew up on Netflix.

I feel like you're looking down upon you. What's your special call, Bubba? My special's called Nocturnal Admissions. Oh, great. And it's crushing. And it's doing, I'm very dude, I'm grateful. It's crushing. You're funny.

It's crushing. It's crushing. No, no, it's nice to put it out there and have the reviews be what they are. And people, word of mouth is really getting out and people, this is like, you know, people are like, hey, man, thanks for killing it like that. It feels good, man.

And you're on a PR tour now. Are you sick of talking? You don't have to think, we do a lot of podcast like that. Tomorrow's the last day and I'm like, you know, and I actually, I'm doing this thing where like, I just want to do it with guys I know and friends. Like there's one thing about doing,

there's one thing about doing podcasts, but like I know you guys not been on here. You guys have been nice enough to have me a bunch of times and I'm good friends with Tim Dillon, so I did Tim's and there's this report because we know each other, burr, we know each other. I'll do other shows, but I like talking, it doesn't get as boring and when it's just,

but like go into someplace where they're nice to meet you on Paul, yeah, oh thanks for stopping by, and then I'm doing this, and plus, there's only so many stories, I don't like to repeat myself, there's a couple things you have to say. Oh, you'll like this But you know what I mean? You know you do you do that PR shit It gets like but when you were the friend we could you know like we were out there talking about Like how fun with the fire and people think yeah, and it's like, you know It's not forced the hard the worst thing is when it's forced how long is this special?

65 minutes. Oh,. Yeah, 65. Amazing. Yeah, and I'll give you 65. I like it. I give you every bit of it. See, I'm editing mine. I'm editing it down to 43 minutes. I was told to do it a shorter version,

but I guess it doesn't depend. Yeah, but it also depends on the set that night and how editing is like, because if you were like, because I would rather have, like if mine was, if they were like Paul yours is A little over an hour, but like if we get it the 48 is real then I would do the fun

I just I was working this and I was ready to go and I was ready to do it So yeah do it at its best you got a sense of relief right cuz you're one of those guys. It's almost like I don't say a bill Berk. They're like billk's moment was right in Philly with the Rocky Statute thing that he blew up, but he's been doing comedy for a hot second. Like, Lucy Kay, I feel like you're one of those monster comics that have just been grinding and then finally you're getting your due. You know, I'll be honest with you, man.

It was, it was, no, there's definitely some truth to that. There was times during the pandemic where people were putting stuff out and people were doing these podcasts and I'm not saying this arrogantly, but if I'm gonna be honest and can't do like, I would be like, dude, these fucking people don't know what I'm about to,

like I'm out here working and I'm doing it. And people are like, oh, did your crowd work the jokes? And nobody knew. So I would be like, you know, talking to my wife, oh, they went great, but it started to get old in a way when when waitresses would be like, man, I've been here years, I see everybody. We stopped and watched you like,

you're one of the funniest people. As great as that felt, it started to get annoying because I'm like, man, I've been here years, I see everybody. We stopped and watched you. Like you're one of the funniest people. As great as that felt, it started to get annoying because I'm like, but then I knew, and when Netflix saw it and goes like, this belongs here, this belongs here, and we're putting it out. I knew, and people were telling me, and like, dude, I had legendary comics go hit me up and just say, like people that were like,

it was just like, wow, but dude, the work was put in. I was going on the road, I was honing that hour, I was adding things, I was adding living, I was putting things in, and it was put in. I was going on the road. I was honing that hour. I was adding things. I was adding living. I was putting things in. And it was ready to go. So as much as, yeah, it's not like getting my due, but like letting people see it when the work is, when the work, it would be like, I guess if like,

you know, a UFC fighter finally gets on that state, gets in that thing on a paper view, or whatever it is, and all of a sudden, man, like it comes together and people go, oh shit. And then, but I would, I remember dude, because I remember actually guys like Jim Norton and guys like, guys like Burr and guys like, kind of were on the longer path.

They're just, you can't fuck with that, that, you know, because of me. So it's one thing to go out there and start killing it. And you've got, and, and, and, you know, something on the internet pops and you've been doing it eight years and all of a sudden You're getting everything, but then what then you know to sister to sister I would rather be the guy that was 20 years like just went long road, but ready look ready because I don't want shit to everything I put out I want to be as good or or better so I did my first. Plus you got to do it again. I mean, that's the other thing like you don't stop now.

You can't. And that's the thing when people were going like, my manager, my wife, people like, are you happy? Like, can you enjoy this? As much as I can enjoy it, I'm like, I gotta, so one thing I was nerve-wracking was I went to San Diego the week after this drop, this dropped June 23rd, Netflix. I went to San Diego and people were hit me up

versus you should we come or should we watch your special? Which one? I go, no, no, come. I'm ready. And I was like, in my mind, I'm going, all right, I think I like this. I did, I think 62 minutes in San Diego. And it was like, and I'm going, okay, now that I have this blueprint of the set, where is it going to be in a year? But I want it to be as good if not better or it doesn't come out. That's the thing. Like when you've learned,

when you've done it so long, it's like, it's going to be as good or better, as far as me, like me feeling like, when nocturnal is me, and one of the best reviews I got was I was like, if you wanna know who Paul Verzi is, who his comedy is, who his life is, who his family is, everything about him,

the type of person he is, watch that because that's who he is, and that's what made me feel good. And now I just want the next one to be an extension of that, and I'm not putting it out if that in my mind and eyes isn't that Yeah, but I feel like you're the comics comic to like you had the approval From all the big boys

I think they you know guys only grinded guys you guys saw me grinding for a while and killing and they were just like you know Your time I remember I remember I think burst had something where she pelt said something to him like a guy like you It'll take long but when it hits it's gonna hit and Burr kind of said to me. He's like same thing He's like, you know, he's like Pete went it's you know Burr would say things that I couldn't even believe he would say I'd be making like dude you're gonna start selling out clubs you and again to theorize I go to making three What the fuck I make it three hundred dollars I got not what are you what are you? Burr to say something nice I can't believe when he's done saying it's nice. He goes go fuck yourself though

Just oh no that boss I do a joke about that. Like Boston guys can never give you. Never. Like when you go to Boston and you perform, they'll be like, verzy kid, funny shit. I took my girl. I don't get excited. I'm not trying to blow you.

Okay? Like, they always have to. You fucking bad. Every single guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even when they're like, don't get a heart on. Yeah, I'm trying to say.

I was saying that. I was saying that. I was in Boston and the same thing, like the guy looks at me and he goes, I know the fuck you're, I don't know what, that's it, he goes, I know you're, like I don't know if he's gonna punch me or hug me. It's so fun.

Yeah, they almost have a hard time giving it up. So when they give it up, there has to be a little bit of... Well, you better say thanks because he's looking at you going, I gave you a little something, I'm waiting now. Yeah, yeah. But sometimes they'll do shit without, what's up?

Dude, you're like, what, I don't know. Like, what the fuck? Fucking bird, bird. Where bird crushed the room one time with the lab factor, and I go, dude, I'm telling you right now, that shit was the, you are the best right now. And he goes, I, thanks, I don't know. And then he calls me the next day and he goes, hey, man, listen,

I just want to thank you for that, you know. Yeah, because, and then he goes, but just go fuck yourself for that, you know. Yeah, because, and then he goes, but just go fuck yourself at the end of it. Yeah, because, but that, it does mean dude, one guy, but do Brian Regan reached out and I was just like, dude, he's, for me, it's top, for me, it's top 10, and he was just like, hey, fuck it, right, and I was just like, what,

like, it was like that meant like, you know, having guys like that because they recognize like the work and they also recognize like the joke and the story and just not letting up. I don't want a fucking half acid. If I'm gonna put something out there, I remember when we did that, I said to my wife and my team, I go, man, I want everywhere to see it.

And then I want, all I ask for is everybody sees it and this goes where it belongs. And but was tough as you're just waiting for a call. That's the thing about our businesses. It's not, we put it out, we do it. And then all of a sudden, they tell you what's, what's fuck, what you're just waiting for a call. That's the thing about our businesses. It's not, we put it out, we do it, and then all of a sudden they tell you what's what's fucked, what you're worthy of. And you're like, oh, fuck, it's tough.

It's a tough fucking business, man, but you can't fuck with work, and you can't fuck with the jokes, and you can't fuck with funny. But I'll see in two years because you gotta get back to work now. It's like you gotta throw all that shit away. That's exactly right.

And we start again, and you just like, I'm doing that right now. I don exactly right. And we start again, and you just, like, I'm, I'm, didn't that right now? I don't know if he's a, uh, New York, uh, I know, I know he tried, he's known for traveling all around, but I have to follow Tom Rhodes. Yeah. Tom, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, be when he was younger and and then he kind of hit the road and just Tom for literally 10 years didn't have an address. He lived in hotels.

I guess he's known for like like doing stand up all over the world. Yeah, but no, he was known what made his name was in the 90s. He was on Comedy Central and MTV. He used to work a lot with John. Didn't you work a lot with John Fox? He was good friends with John Fox. I don't know. I just ran into him.

I literally ran into him. I've never heard of him and And then Rita, who runs the improv, I was coming from the laugh acting. She said, care, you close. And she said, I can't, I can have Tom go longer. And then she was basically also heads up your phone. Roads. I was like, yeah, cool.

You know, I'm calling all of this. Yeah. That happens. Dude, but he ran long, he was doing his crowd work. Dude. My God. Oh, Keller. He was like, I wrote, is in here from LA.

He's my thing is I literally tore it all over the world. And he's like, tell me where you're from. And just people, Australia, he had a whole bit on Australia. Oh, yeah. Then suddenly he goes, where are you guys from LA? There's no way from LA. And he goes, where are you from? She goes, Venezuela is. I from, there's no way from LA. And he goes, where are you from?

He goes, Venezuela is, I don't have any Venezuela material. He goes, but I do have a really good, uh, Japan bit. Just so whenever I say Venezuela, you guys think Japan. And did, and he goes, so I was in Venezuela and I met this samurai, dude. Pro, he fucking, karate, that's just like that. That's just a

Damn man fucking unbelievable, and then he walks it where he comes like green and we just man They're fucking hot and I go Tom. I think you should material buddy. Yeah, he's a guy pretty awesome Sates dude monster that's I love seeing it and his cadence and following that is great like so many like Somebody said someone's like I would like to know him like to know where you're at like to get in that sweet spot That's easy. It's like you're gonna go to know him. Like to know where you're at. Like to get in that sweet spot that's easy. It's like, you're gonna go home and feel good because you had a good set. But find out where you're fucking at.

Dude, I used to, I came up, I came up in New York before I was like doing any main clubs. I came up in black rooms because they were like, oh, white boys funny, put them up and be 250 all, and it was dude, and it was New York City dude. It was like, and it was like, and it ended up unless you are really fine. Yeah, and it was like the New York Kings, dude, it was like, they're not giving it up unless you are really fine. Yeah, and it was like the New York Kings

at comedy, it was like talent and Capone and Rob Stapleton and Gerald Kelly and all these guys, man, and Drew Frazier and these guys have come out and these rooms are fucking packed and deaf jam type shit. And I had to do it. And I remember one night, they had a laugh factory in Times Square, it was short-lived and it was Wendy Williams called Wendy Williams comedy experience on Wednesday nights

in time square packed and it was always packed cappone dude this guy's him he was his name was cappone he was you know he come in you know big dude charming dude but just like he just came in and it was deaf jam shit and Wendy Williams had a table on the stage but far off and you would go up and it was like prime time shit Wednesday night's dude it was nuts and I remember he's like yeah I'm put you on me funny man right I'm just waiting and everyone's killing and D-N-Edwards goes before me and D-N-Edwards is doing a set and everything's going normal and dude he fucking goes into Denzel and his Denzel fucking explodes the room and he's in it's like Denzel training they shit crushing then he goes into another one and then another one he

did like through this fucking dude this place is jumping out of their skin and the dude comes up to me and he goes hey man if you want to go later if you want to go later you know we could because you know everyone's going crazy in here if you know nobody not to make people know if you want to go later, you know, we could, because you know, everyone's going crazy in here. If you know, nobody, not to many people, know if you want to go later. Or, you know, I got to go now. And I said, I got to go now. And I went up now and I had a great, great, great. What did you do? How did you open?

It was, I opened with, this was a merit, I did a joke about American Idol, about how they made them sing after they were kicked off. I know, what the fuck? I'm a musician. That's insult, yeah. So it's like, you know, make it,

and I remember Wendy Williams really laughing at that. And then everybody got going. And once I got that joke in. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, the joke was what? The joke was, like, because an American idol, after you got voted off, they go, all right, how about one last song? I'm like, what are you, how do you get out of here?

What are you fucking doing? And they're trying. They're like, you're screwed. They're all messing up my time. You know what, yeah. I got it. And I picture my, you know, you guys know I've talked about my dad, but like I would pick that made me because my father would be like,

what you fucking just, you think I'm gonna, and that's where my mind went. Like you're gonna make me go up there, like you just cut me. You just cut me. And then, so I remember like doing the joke like how it was ridiculous. I don't know exactly how it went, but I got Wendy Williams and I started to get them and then I ended up taking

What Dean did and do it but a lot of people don't want to do that But why not find out where you really are fuck is at least you know at least you know I don't want to follow that person. I won't follow and here's the other thing don't try to you know You could pace back and forth and be like I got to you're never gonna change what you do So it's like let them do it and if they have either energy or if they fucking do a back flip, or whatever they do, and then you go, then then you're going to go and be your voice. Well, I was talking to it.

I was talking to Rogan about this on Thursday. And we were talking about how when we came up, you got up in front of strangers. You came up, you got up, like when you, like for the first 15 years of my standup career I would go to wherever that city was and I didn't know anybody and they sure as fuck didn't know No, and they were all different. Yeah. Yeah. Now one of the things that is with podcasts you can curate your own audience Yeah, so they're there they come to laugh. So in a way it doesn't demand that's a that's a great fucking point

Yeah, it doesn't it's a it's it gives you in some ways a false sense security Because when it used to be like the fucking comedy store Pack in the day before podcasting dude. I would be performing at one in the morning for 12 alcoholics I'm telling you yeah, you'd be up there or they just 25 people who hated your guts You didn't know where the fuck you were. They were from all over the world They were yeah, they were from all over the world. They were, yeah, they were from all over the world. They were tourists with like stumble in and shit. And you couldn't see the audience.

If you could do well in that fucking room, you could do well anywhere. When you were learning there, or, and by the way, fucking the comic strip, the seller, stand up New York, it was all the same shit. When you were in New York, you got in front of New Yorkers back then before it got, it

was really rich. You had a mix of people, man. Bridge in tunnel and everything else. And sorry, man, if you don't make them laugh with shit that's relevant to them, New York comedy club, I did was all black. You'd get up there. And if you don't bring the money, I ate all the dicks one time. I ate so many dicks that it got so quiet

that this one woman goes, wow. That's what I hear in kid-hugos. She goes, wow. I was like, oh, I'm gonna quit standup. Yeah. But now, in a way, you can already, your audience is already excited to see you. And it is what it is, but podcasting has created that

for people. Yeah, I think so. And I think, think like, we also weren't making money. Nobody made money. No, you weren't making money. But you know why though? And that's, I shouldn't say you know why, that mentality of not making money, but still doing it. Yeah. It actually follows you into success because you see people doing things. I see people doing things right now. And I'm going like, what the fuck are you doing there for? But I was talking to Brennan before we went on the air. And what bugs me is these fucking comics who are like, you know, and maybe I take it more personally

because I have a family, but these comics like, yeah man, I'm out, you know, I don't even get to see my, I don't even get to see my kids, and it's like, fuck you dude, you know what, like you can see your kids, you make it, like listen, I'm doing pretty fucking well and I'm not missing a big first thing. I may miss one game in the season, but I'm not gonna fucking miss.

And these guys are going like, man, you know, like there's no time and it's like, no man, that, you're selfish and you want fucking attention instead of going to your daughter's fucking dance recital. You need that because something is fucked up in you. So you'd rather fucking, and what are you gonna do on your deathbed? You're gonna be okay with the fact that your little daughters in tears,

while you made some fat fucks into coma laugh, and she's upset, because that's really the reality of this. That's a sort of Wayne worth it. Yeah, the issue of daughter lost in the first time. Okay, so what you get like 15, 20 grand, whatever it is, 10 grand, whatever it is that weekend, and your daughter's crying, and you get some new fans in, in, in, I don't know, I'm just, I gotta tell you what to come, I'm just saying, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just,

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, if you're a successful actor, if you're a film actor or you're a TV actor, but especially if you're a film actor, you're gone. And you don't see your kids. So basically in the military, you don't see your kids. The Punisher, John,

John, Bergen, Bergen, Bergen, Bergen, Bergen, Bergen, you mean him, that next to each other and I was like, I'll fuck this, the Punisher, Perkins all right, because I'm moving on a set John there's three months John Bantal You mean him set next to each other and I was like oh fuck that's the punisher. I'm a huge fan

Me and I don't say and we keep stand me. I'm like That's a kid in that that the kid in a wolf of Wall Street, too No, he's he's in He's in Chicago. Yeah, he was in a wolf of Wall Street was he yeah, so he's on the plane and then He was a man big fan. Oh fuck. he says, I'm the biggest fan of him. I didn't want to be a weirdo. Me and him, I was going to New York. We talked for the full six hours.

We talked full six hours. And I was telling him about how I struggle with leaving my family and stuff like that. And he's like, I get it man, you know, I have four kids. And he goes, here's my thing, he goes, dude, I'll be gone for six months. When I shoot whatever movie it is, he got six months. He was six months and'll be gone for six months. When I shoot whatever movie it is. He's got six months.

He was six months and sometimes in operating my kids, I'm a bulk area, fuck you, but you know. But when you bring your kids, you're working 16 hours. But then I go, well can't you, certain sets, don't you bring me as, I wouldn't see him. So these poor kids are stuck in the fucking trailer. Yeah, you go back to the hotel and the kids are sleeping. It's not, yeah.

That's what he said. He said he thought, what the fuck? They also have lives. So, they're not go back to the hotel and the kids are sleeping. It's not You said he's like you thought with the school and they also have lives so they said he was trying to be in a working Actorman he's like you think would stand up. He's like, yeah, you can talk about that He was with me. He was doing some three six four months. I could not for me You can't you don't see your wife. You don't see any good. You're in the military. It's like that. He's such a good dude. Yeah, So I'm sure it wasn't cool. Oh, man Such a damn. Yeah, I've heard great things about that. He's really close to joy. He is Is he really close? Yeah, cuz you slide out there and he was like I could do this. I guess shoot this He's like, but I'm something he's like you know, Joey or Emma. I thought hell. Yeah, he's I'm doing his pot

He's great. She got him on here. Yeah, he's great. He lives in oh, huh Get him on. It's great. See originally in New money. Yeah, he's great. He lives in Ohio. Get him on. That's great. You see, originally in New York, I or no? I don't know. He's DC. Yeah, I don't know, but he's interesting, because you know, he went to school at fucking,

he went to Harvard. Did he? Yeah. He's smart fucking dude. He's no dumb. He grew up like rough, but then went to fucking Harvard. I don't think he grew up rough, but he's smart guy. And you're right, bro.

Yeah, DC. Yeah, DC. Yep. Wow. You kid went to Harvard. It's getting more than Harvard, yeah. Wow. Yeah, he's a good fucking guy. Yeah, he's a really good dude. That's so cool, man.

Yeah. No, it's, you know, listen, I mean, you got families. Don't, it's, I never wanted this business to make me miss something big, man. The first thing, you know, if it was the first thing, I can't miss it. I can't miss my son's first little league game. I can't just, you know, and I'll tell the agent now, like, look, I got this, like my agent got me a date and I go, I do, and I go, that's the daddy daughter dance, man.

You know, oh, there's not enough money in the world. Yeah, you miss it. So it's just once my son starts playing like high school football. I missed one out of all the daddy daughter dances. I missed one. My stepfather went for me. It was something. Dates got screwed up last minute. And then, and even then when she was,

I go never, like never, never. No, I don't, I'm going to the daddy daughter and I'm gonna go fuck it. Yeah, yeah, because that's a life, that's her memory of her dad forever. You take that picture. Yeah, fuck it. It's like, yeah, like, no, you can't, man.

The kids kids feel it. My family is starting to feel, my son and daughter are starting to feel now. They're starting to feel it. And like is starting to feel, my son and daughter are starting to feel now. They're starting to feel it. And like they start to feel that, you know, more people recognize me for what I do. And I can tell, and I sit down, I'm like, listen, none of that, nothing that will ever happen.

It's like, let's go to the Ganking Game. Let's go do that. But, you know what's cool is that you're setting a great example too. And you're setting an example of what to be. And that is a very powerful thing. So there's another school of thought, which also says, you still can't comprehend. You don't want to use your children as an excuse for not being as good as you could be.

So it's a dance, right? It's a train. Right. And of course you want to make time with your kids and see your kids. But they're also, you know, it took a lot of work for you to get here. And you're only going to keep growing. And that's something they're gonna be very proud of. You could get sad when you leave now.

My son's sick and just now, like, who'll get mad because I'll put him in a bed and then I have sets in LA when I'm in town. So, you know, two, three times a night, I'm leaving. I put him in bed and he was probably, because I'll be in shorts and a tank top in, at home. But I know so how my clothes on, he's, where are you going? Yeah. I'm putting you bed here and I get sat,

so you have to work the night, dude. Now he knows when I leave, it's. I saw that clip of your son going seawirl, I was like, that's it, man. Like, yeah, like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, when that, my, I'm like, we're gonna seawirl, no, we're not gonna seawirl. Well, you said before about the jersey

at the All-Star Game, my son will be like, what city? And then he starts going through the players that play. Yeah, yeah. Like, if they got something at the airport with the jersey and I'm like, you know, but, ah, like yeah. So he's like, he's a huge sports fan. He's a huge sports fan, a huge basketball fan,

but he's just gotten really the weirdest thing to it. I don't know what it is. He's an athlete. He's always watching YouTube basketball, playing 2K basketball. And now lately I go in his room and he's just watching fishing videos. Hey, Biky, would you take another little break

with us? One of our favorite Paul Versi? Paul Versi, only if it's about money, only if it's about me making money. I don't have time for anything other than laughing, learning and making money. Dude, I gotcha and listen, that's why my friend that draft King sports book,

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C-Show notes for details. See next page for a direction of disclaimer that's draft kings download the app use the promicode fighter. You got a fishing pole I go why do you order like a like a he ordered a fishing pole I took him to fucking I was in a fishing dude I go I go I take him to dick sporting goods and I was like what's a good pole for you know I said he's 13 years ago that's a real good one and he goes does research because not that line could only get a 12 to 15 pound fish. I go, what do you think? And that's when he started talking about Panama. So a thing comes in that I think a thing comes in the man He started talking to Panama. This is a number one fish in the world. And I was like, well, we got a lake around the fucking corner

So I'm not getting on a plane to Panama. I think that's proud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, what are you trying to catch? By the way, he's a little, you know. You're like catching Marlin. Yeah, Marlin. Yeah, Marlin. The Amazon guy comes with a package and I go Stacy and it does, and Stacy goes, oh, and he goes, oh, it's my fishing stuff. He ordered a line that like they got shark, that gets shark.

It's like shark. Hey, bro, you're not catching great sharks. Well, the sharks are awesome. You gotta have, you gotta have a line that can head. Shark, that has the cast. Well, you know, if I cast and we go out there in the ocean like what if I get some so this this line I'll do it then he's got like this like the Cadillac of fucking he goes look at that real look how smooth it is You want to laugh? I'm in my liver and go fucking nice

Yeah, it's pretty nice Really The Cadillac of smooers. Yeah, it was like a core candle black and so and I'm gonna go and so he's like really like he's just He's as long as they're into something like my son Listen if he's in the fishing dude, I don't know fishing like I went fishing in Milwaukee and in that lake dude I would like cash fish and you know these guys were like this I can't we really I can be on a fucking big fish guy I just That's a sheep head on my hey

I guess fucking Kevin cash is the fucking you can't eat that That's the big I go it's a fucking oh, I'm like this with and I swear to God He goes that small mountain. I'm like let me fuck it They threw all that I see but I'm with your son. I grew up being really in the fish And I love it. Yeah my uncle Charlie and my uncle skip you stick me all the time and the same thing I'd catch something for I'm eight dude let me fucking time. And the same thing, I'll catch something for you. I'm eight, dude. Let me fucking take in the glory. Same thing, I'll strap. Yeah.

Trap. Trap. I'm eight, dude. Let me just do the fucking thing here, man. Yeah, yeah. I guess you're still here. I was just like, I get me the fuck out of here. I think I love that.

As long as your son's into, I don't give a fuck what it is. And unless, you know, you could get dicey. But as long as they're into, pass them out, something. Yeah. Probably, I won't say who it is, but my son's best friend is dad's very famous and they're into Pokemon cards. Well, I was into cards as a kid, but I clicked like, like, John Montana and fucking Junior sale, Ryan Sandberg, the Pokemon, the fucking cartoons, the fucking, but they're expensive. So dad takes them to the fucking local car shop.

$600 in cards. So my son comes home, each of them comes home. Dad, look at him like Jesus Christ and in my head, because I bought him cards and I'm like, holy fuck dude. And I was like, hey, blah, blah, blah. That's not, that was like a one-off battle. Yeah. Every time we go, that's not hobby.

No, and then my dad was in town and he commits my taking a store and he's like, you know, Grandpa Pete only got me. I'm like, it's not only dude. he commits my attaking a store. And he's like, you know, Grandpa Pete only got me. I'm like, it's not only that. That's a big deal, man. Yeah, it's hard to instill. It's like they don't, they don't, inside his fault.

It's hard to instill. It's a balance of making your children appreciate things that hard work can achieve and not, you know, and not being spoiled, but also like, you want them to have better than what you had. So it's like that middle thing, and you also got to watch, like what people do. One thing that I learned is like,

you got to watch what people say, family members say around your kids. Now I'm at the age where they're 13 and 10. You know, like I'll be honest, and I love my father. My father's in Florida, man, and my father says some wild shit. So it's like, I got to watch,

because then he'll be like, he'll be like, hey, grandpa said, you know, and I'll be like, what do you mean? And I got my wife, anybody, you know, you get people come over, they'll leave the talk politics, they'll leave the talk religion, even amongst them, and the kids take it in. So they'll get off the bus, and they'll hear,

oh, I heard Uncle Sonsos said this, but in school they said this, they'll get off the bus and be like, I heard this guy's a real bad person, and I'm like, but you gotta, like, there's a one-sided thing, so you gotta be, because they hear it, now they're their sponges, do they? Do you know what, like a lot of countries they'll have a mandatory draft, right,

especially for boys? And part of that, part of the philosophy there is that you might be spoiled, you might have had a cushy life. You're in the fucking army now, bro, and you're gonna do it. Everybody else does. And especially the kid around the block who grew up with nothing. And you're all the same. You're all the same.

And also though, it really brings you into contact with objective reality. You're not gonna sleep as much. You're not gonna eat your mom's not there. Fuck off. This is two years. We got you for two years. And this is what's gonna happen. Also, there's a lot of value in you and you're like that. You're the sense of pride in the nation. Like there's a lot of value in shit like that.

Give a sense of pride in the combination. Like it's important. I would be mad at that. Yeah, I think that's where sports comes into play. 100%. Like sports is very black, black and white. Like, you know, but it also teaches you how much money you have.

Yeah, it's discipline and hard work. Yeah, and it's hard work and the hard work is gonna make your skills, you know. But it's also humbling, like it's also like in a good way. You're not gonna win 24-7. Yeah, it's good for him to lose and figure it out and have to come back. I wonder about fighting in the game that you were in, in the UFC. You'll wonder if like a guy that comes up and let's just say a kid comes up

and his dad's got Rolls Royces, but he could fight and he said, fuck, he's a monster and he comes from money and he's a monster, but then he's fighting a dude that comes from the fucking gutter. I wonder if that, like, I mean, would that have to come in? Come to exceptions, right? Yeah, who would you know somebody that's like that? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, you could go to Gruberidge.

There's that one guy, Cater, his family has a lot of money. Yeah, Calm Cater, yeah, his family has a lot of money and PJ Penn apparently. Those two have a lot of money, but that's the only, those the only people I know have money. See, that's an interesting thing that like, coming, yeah, like not many people that come from mansions and living like growing up like that,

and then all of a sudden they're like, that would be a fuck, that would be why. Yeah, maybe football though, in basketball. It's too hard of a gig, like the grinds, it's not like stand up. You can imagine like, if you're like, how funny is that he Murphy's kid? You know, like your death has all that money, like through my parents out of brutal, like I went through some brutal shit,. You know, like, your death has all that money.

Like, through my parents out of brutal, like I went through some brutal shit, I'm sure you go through brutal shit, you wanna get acceptance and you use your talent to kind of move up, I think. But then if your family, no matter what you try out, it doesn't matter if you fail, I don't know if you're gonna make him stand up

or fucking fight you. That's a good, yeah, that's a good thing. It's too hard. Fighting. You have to be know what, play and beat. Fighting gonna have a plan. I'm gonna have to play with a player, man, I think that. You's too hard. Yeah, fighting. You have to be know what plan B. Yeah, fighting gonna have a plan. I'm gonna have a plan. I'm gonna have a plan.

I think that's it. You imagine when you were going through this, if you're in your in Syracuse on Wednesday night, and then your mom caused like, honey, we'll just give you 30,000, just get out of there like, fuck it. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, no, you can't, if you have a plan B

or you're kind of behind the April. Yeah, I think his family has some kind of like, Kate. Yeah, I think super rich really yeah like really rich But that's the only person I know he's got his own fight league now and stuff. I wonder if I'll tell you K. Don't I think I Think someone else, bro. You can't even write favorite. No, I'm thinking about No, I'm not fighting. I thought he was a guy started lost it. No, I know he is I know He's a fight. Yeah, that they were talking about I just had him on food truck He's been on twice. Yeah, we've had him. He's a Boston through and through men He has older brothers. Yeah, I'm not seeing a fight league. Let me see it. Let me see it looks like

Yeah, it's middle that's the guy. Yeah, that's the guy is back in Texas I could take a text is saying hey, Decomon Grove, right? Yeah, that's the guy I get Texas but didn't have a cartel I could take Texas I just say he did Calvin Grove right yeah, that's his man's on the left They're from the New England cartel. I though those boys. Hey Brandon do a lot of do a lot of the guys were a lot of guys bullied a lot of the UFC fighters bullied like is that was out of I'm sure I'm sure get them out yeah, yeah, yeah, well I I noticed that a lot of them came from broken homes or some kind of a thing at home I don't have to worry because a lot of times they're tough homes or some kind of a thing at home. I don't know if they were pulley because a lot of times they're tough and athletic and I almost say a lot of them came from broken homes either.

I don't know if that's it. That's like saying all athletes don't broken homes. Fighters, there's always some dysfunctions. It's a little bit like stand-ups. You know, it's like, I don't know. It's always something, you know? Yeah, it makes you think like what Tyson would do if he wasn't in, like imagine Mike Tyson

as a kid growing up in the age of six. Well, boxers, that's the old story with boxers. I mean it's very rare to find like boxes that come from a lot of money. But with Tyson, I said, uh, I said, you know, fighters, we, you know, we come from, you know, we come from the streets. He was, no, no, he stopped me. He was, no, the boxes come from the fucking gutter. All right. Yeah. What?

Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's a tough guy to just start arguing with. Yeah. Like he's really become he drops my Tessons become a very very special. The shrooms. He's really worked. But he says that's like so deep out. Fucking deep. Well, he's got the expanse. He's had like highs

and lows. Like you can have some crazy deep, you know, wisdom to drop. Yeah, dude, he said the other day, these guys are all listening, he goes, God gets back to you by giving you, God gets back to you by giving you everything you want. That's, oh, oh, fuck, whoa. Whoa, and he goes, and then he sits there and see if you can handle it.

And he goes, anybody tells you that, you know, a lot of money makes you happy, never had a lot of money. Yeah, he says a lot. But I thought it was cool to do some time. Yeah, it's a dark time. This guy was like, nah man, when people fucking do this, I ride him off and he goes, no, no, no, no, then the double wins. No, no, I'm just saying what people are going to go, no, because now you letting them change you. You're thinking about fucking you.

Yeah, but think about how many experiences he had to go through to learn that. Yeah, he's a lot of people. And he brought Bill Burd, Bill Burd was like, he goes, who hurt bill burrow is like he goes who hurt you bills like bill yeah bill said yeah just fucking annoys me and he goes no no hold on you ever see that no I mean my touch is the only guy who talked to Bill like I never just talking to just bothers me made man and Mike goes no no hold on no not something happened to you man what do you mean it hurts you I said that that that that's that. You're in a baddy goes, who hurt you, man, in high school? And Bill goes, no, I don't think he goes, no, no, no, no.

You know, who hurt you? And Bill goes, Bill goes, I mean, I know, I mean, I'm sure I had some things, but you know, and Mike goes, now you're being a silly goose, huh? You're being a silly goose, but you don't want it, you don't want to get real. And get Bill, get Bill, get into the scene. Dude, I scroll, I was like, I can't watch this.

Just to me, Bill is the mic Tyson of Com, like when Bill and John, Bill and Mike Tyson, Bill's the one guy that scares me. What? Bill and look at him. To me is the mic Tyson of the 90s. He's always been great to him,

and stuff got to me, like monster. He's the one guy we work at, such a high level, you're like, because the question, the question who hurt you is so, it's quick and it's so hard. You know what it is? But it's a sniper shot question. After those words are asked,

especially by him, who hurt the best guy I played, but also I would go, where do I start? Yeah, how long is this show? Because is this 18 hour show? But the way he did it, he goes like this. Oh man, who hurt you? Yeah, I'm weighted. Yeah, I was like Comedy and Bill figured his way out of it. No, he didn't figure his way. I never saw it. He's never heard you'll see

I never saw it makes me nervous. It makes it made me like I was like we're getting real now I've ever seen when Bill was on the show, you know know, Theosho is a silly fucking goose. And, you know, it was one time my uncle, you know, and for, you know, Bill, for every that day was not playing. And I was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What is this? You're like, oh, yeah. You know what's funny? It's so awkward. Like, whoa. We're so close. Like, we're like family, but like a lot of stuff I don't see, you know, like we're just like, we talk on the phone about, oh, I don't want to see my buddies do. I mean, if Ryan goes on a show and like, it you know, like we're just like we talk on the phone about oh, I don't watch anything my buddies do nothing like you I mean if Ryan goes on a show and like it gets traction like for whatever reason I'll watch that but in general like

Yeah, see my sentiment how long I mean, you know years right probably right? Well when we performed together in San Antonio, we both got COVID. Yeah, but that was last time that we don't watch that So that really yeah, but as long as you're all right You know, but it's like if you go, if you do a show or something, if it makes tracks, go Brian said this, then I'm like, I'm gonna check you out. But then I don't want you in my buddy stuff. None of it.

We're all like that. I mean, I watch your special, I blasted it out. I'm looking for a special. I'm on it. But like, if you do, I watch your episode with Tim, I love Tim, Tim for my favorite part. Yeah, we had a good, yeah.

Like, there's certain things, of course. Like, if I see, I'm more of like, I was actually saying this to, on Rogan, it's like, I'm not gonna go and watch an hour of comedy, but if I scroll and I see a clip of a guy I love or something, I'll stop at a clip and be like, oh shit, and then I'll hit that person up and go, dude, I just saw that thing you did, it's really funny, you know?

I'm such a good friend, like yours and Chrissy D's, all when we watch Netflix, like, especially in the morning, if my kid, you know, they go such a good friend, like yours and Chrissy D's, all when we watch Netflix, like, so should the morning, if my kid, you know, they go to school and I'll leave it on, just make sure it gets in the algorithm. And my head, I'm like, this is helping them. Oh, that's sad. I'm standing on that.

In a keep replay and this will help them. That's right, it doesn't do shit, but my head, like this is great. No, but that's, that's, it's more comics where a little more supportive in my opinion. I don't want to say what, I'm not, I'm a fun community. Yeah, you know, Paul Dunwell doesn't take away from me, right?

No, yeah. But you also notice like, I'm not a big, like I'm very, I've always held my circle small. It's just who I am. I'm not a guy, like I'm a type of guy, like I meet somebody and like right away when I meet the person shake their hand and talk, I'm like, I can fuck with that guy.

Yeah, you know, when I run into that guy, you get me right away. Yeah, when I run into that guy, dude, that's my guy and I like being around that shit. The other, I'm not good with like, I'm not doing these, these guys go to like a fuck with that guy. Yeah, you know, when I run into that guy, well, yeah, when I run into that guy, that's my guy, and I like being around that shit. I'm not good with like, I'm not doing these, these guys go to like a comedy basketball games. Yeah, you're fucking mind. You're gonna go to a comedy poker night?

Yeah, I'm not doing a comedy fucking kickball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're meeting at the club and then we're gonna take a shuttle. I don't wanna fucking see you when I perform. I mean, he's probably, no, he's telling you to do a weekly basketball. That's the worst time here. Shuttle I want to fucking see you when I perform Hey, we're all gonna me at the club and we're gonna shuttle down to the softball field. Hey, how about you never call me again? Yeah, you that's how I know when I'm friend. You know I would never If you knew me you know that I'm sitting on my deck with my children hanging out in the country

I'm not even even a couple you guys weren't driving together I'll meet you the thing is I'm a Media could you imagine calling you for hey, do what number you're taking for a softball team? What? Bro, you check out the jersey. You're pretty. I'll feel the shitter What do you think in the night man? What the fuck am I thinking? Yeah, you're doing fucking one of the more in spots You know you're doing that. Let it fuck out of here You do You're doing fucking one of the more in spots. You're not even that bloody. Get the fuck out of here. What do you want to be on here? You're doing the bruh high school program.

The fuck you call me excited about this marona dog. I'm trying to get a jogging group together. You want to meet at the same time? You're at a shape walking side to side on a stage. You fat fuck telling dick jokes. Think I'm gonna fucking put your excited up to some fucking. You're gonna be in field.

Alright. You're this fucking weird man. It's so funny. Listen, but I also think family guys have a different way to think it. Me and you, like, we have a different way of thinking. If you are in a fucking studio or one bedroom, and God bless those people running around doing spots,

you're like, you're probably psyched on a Sunday to play softball with people. Instead of being, you know, but we want to be with our I don't really know. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm like, you want to get coffee? I want to drink now.

You're hard to get. I got kids mother fuck. I'm not hanging with you. I'm not hanging with you. I'm not hanging with you. I'm always fucking up. You'll love this. This is here.

I'm almost the commie store of this guy comes up. I'm talking with Brian and Theo and Chris, my boys, and we have each other talking. This guy goes, hey, shout. He's a promoter. And we know him, whatever. I don't know him that well and he comes up and Straight I won't say who the interrupts our entire conversation. I'm not seeing my family

What's up? You know, and I'm like, yeah cool and I'm telling you. Well, it's gonna play catch So what do you say? You know that's I'm just play catch man like with football You want to go to the park tomorrow? I went bro. I got got, are you out of your fucking touch? He's such a sweet man. He's such a good guy. The fuck? Yeah, yeah. Such a good person. I went with a football, you guys were thinking about it.

One last thing, you just fucking threw the bass. And Brandon comes up to me and goes, he has me to play catch. I go, he's a beautiful person. That's it. There's nothing left. He is just a good guy. I fucking want to play catch. It's naive because he doesn't have kids and also you know, yeah, too fucking little boy. Yeah, yeah

You're an athlete Don't jump right don't do 38 years old don't eat the part dude. Yeah, what do you mean? You have the part? Yeah, that's what you can play with an NFL ball. What are we talking about it? We got a nerve ball Well, once I see you have the skateboard out excuse You want a rollerblade? Oh, you're my god Yeah, I don't really and it's not as people will listen to this going on That's anti-community community. No, it's it's pro Hollywood center. It's pro family. Yeah, even if I wasn't a club, I miss the hang though. I miss hanging out at clubs and being fucking idiots.

That's the most sad thing I've ever been. That's my favorite thing. You know what's cool is like the stand, the stand will be like, they'll do something where they'll book like the same night. All the boys are the front. Yeah, so like me and Yannis will pretty much be on the same thing and then somebody else,

and then we'll all sit down at the, and like you're with your boys So then all of sudden these sports arguments happen and it's good I like the color for that. You sit down. I'll sit with dove and those guys and it'll be Shane Gillis and be like that And everybody's there. That's a good that's a good hang. Yeah, it's fun We do the seller when you're with it. Yeah, I do the seller. I do stand. I do you know new York comedy club and where is the stand? That's new right? So this is the second location. There's bigger. It used to be where a brother's Jimmy's barbecue is. It's on 16th.

It's just huge. It's been a while. I've been in LA. I've heard a Gotham isn't doing headliner weekends anymore. They're just doing spots now. Is that right? Yes, it's pandemic. They just do spots now.

Like we just, we're making more money. Just bookings. I was wondering about that. They're not doing weekends anymore. Oh, shit. I didn't even know that. Yeah. Glad you told me that I'm gonna work in a hot second. And I thought I did got them, that's weird.

And I didn't know that. I was with Gotham and he's like, well, they're doing stuff. Yeah, like, you know, you know, Robert, remember wanting to go to the, wanting to go to the Christmas parties? Because that's when you were coming up,

so like, you're coming up and you're like, oh, Caroline's having a Christmas party, I was gonna be there and you think it would like do something to be seen. Now they're now doing when someone's like, Paul, you gone to the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, on Christmas. So I'm gonna leave it. Yeah, it's like festivals too.

Like festivals are gonna change your life. Get the fuck out. You know what's funny? You said that because I said festivals, dude, here's the thing. And a festival that wants you to stay for weeks or two. It's like, listen, Montreal's great going for a day or two. You have a nice show, great.

You go, it's like, hey, I'm doing this and you notice how they're booking the same people, a lot of the same people. And it's like, you gotta learn to just be like, hey man, I'll commit, I love, Montreal's great, and there's a few. Dude, Skankfest is incredible. When you do Skankfest, it's the only festival, everybody knows you.

You go there and you're walking, me and Bretterons are walking down the street, it's the only festival. And I've been to Montreal, a lot of times of your Montreal people know you too, they do the homework, because it's such a big one. It feels good, yeah. JFL is like that. I think JFL is like that.

It's like, and Skankfest, which is like, oh my God, dude, they know you. And where's that at? The little thing looking. So no, he's doing, I think they're doing Vegas, the one I did was last November in Houston, but like the fans, it's just different, you know, but yeah the whole like you have this thing in your mind We're oh, I'm gonna be seen at a holiday party and I might get and it's like no they want you there to fill the fucking to be there

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they invited you Yeah, I chill with you, buddy. All right real quick though. So Tyson got back to me And it's the man's with Calvin. Yeah Calvin's dude. So he's like first of all what he's all Calvin's dad Don't know so Calvin does his family comes from money, but Calvin has no access to the money I'm sure I'm No, we just want to like make sure that you know I want those So Brian's technically right he was no's right. And Calvin does own a promotion. By the way, he fought and at the same promotion

and he fought it in the promotion before and he fought three times just to buy it. Right? So he actually bought it for fighting three times for free. Yeah. He does have access to his family. It's called Combat Zone MMA. They're gonna do something this Friday.

So that's cool. Yeah. It's a Boston. I think it's has to go through. Yeah. New England cart cool. Yeah, and it's a Boston. I think it's asking for a new England cartel. It's Friday, go get it. And he goes also, this is for you, Brian. It's a misconception that he's rich and came up for money. He grew up with a single mom and they worked super hard

to get what they have. And then he says, you can say that LOL. He said, Brian, I'm not taking away from him. No, no, no, no, no, no right right You're right, but all it was just like little details bad motherfucker, and I That's what I found to it about that I'm on the drug twice Yeah, but that is rare That's what I find so amazing about him is that he he didn't come from this crazy difficult and he's a fuck He's a

Oh my god, he's broke that's what I mean like he's not a softness there of having access to that when you still want to fuck somebody up and you're a bad dude like that. That's enough. That wasn't going to do some fucking war. Yeah, that dude's a bad motherfucker. But that could also be a dude that was bullied. Yeah. He's just like, okay, and then he learns how to fight.

Yeah. He is a great fighter, man. Yeah. Bro, to stand in the, when I watch UFC, I'm not joking around. It's like, people, we've talked about this before. You texted me before. Dude, I was like, dude, yeah, no, but when going into an octagon, when I watch UFC, I'm not joking around. It's like people, we've talked about this before, like. You text me before. I was like, yeah, yeah, no, but when going into an octagon in front of the world and on paper view

against another man that also wants to fuck you up, that's like, no set you ever do stand up wise, will ever be that where dude's looking at you. Did you see what's his name looking at? I knew that's when I knew he was gonna lose the co-main event, the kid, the, Oh, uh, uh, brand-of-marino, Kyke France, this last one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the way he was looking at him and stuff, and I thought it was, it was like almost too much out the hate that the other guy had, but just that, just guys going like this before they say, are you ready? And it's like, that's fucking nuts.

Yeah. That's, they locked the cage. It's a tough kid. And you're such a fucking lunatic that you went from that to this. Well, that's why he wasn't afraid. Like, that's why he would get in there and his underwear. There's a big difference between all due respect

to a 145 pound guy. And then you're fighting a 260 pound guy. Let me tell you why. When you, his head's the same size as most guys. Like, it's not there's that thing, right? I was of the head of a lightweight. But I'm saying, but I'm saying, all of you, I'm not like Mark Hunt.

But I'm saying, you get into those rings with those guys who are 260 pounds. They can knock you out with a fucking jab. And if they hit you the right way, you can die. Or you can get really fucked up. So the point is that you can get you as a heavy weight you're getting shut off more than likely if you make a mistake. If you're a lightweight you can make a few mistakes.

Like I should have ziggloched. Dude you should have seen the guys that they would pay. They would pay. They would pay these guys to come in to fight him. This is when I was I didn't you know we were just starting. There's online training camp. Dude in his training camp, I'm not fucking, I'm not Brian with it.

He would show up Jim called Black House, which was like me, little Machita, Anson Silva, the monster. These pro kickboxers that were six foot nine, and his coach would say to the pro kickboxer, I'm gonna give you a thousand dollars if you knock him out, okay? You'll get a thousand dollars

if you're supposed to start. He's a star, right? Now what? I'm talking about six nine and I'm talking about $250,000. Guys that have nothing. But they also are, but they also can kick and punch professionally.

So I thought that Brendan was gonna, I look at him, he came in and I went like this. I go, I look at Brendan and Brendan goes, Brendan goes, you want to be a fighter huh? And he's getting his hands wrapped and I go, he didn't even warm up really. You didn't even warm up. You just get in there. Neither is warm top. They're just getting ringing and I go, didn't even warm up really you didn't even warm up you just get either it's won't they just get a ring and I go they're gonna move around you're gonna move around no they're not what he was

trying to knock his fucking head off when I say full speed fight like a full speed fight it was that and I was just like I was like this is your life this is what you have to do you could get so fucked up you could get so fucked up doing the wrong thing and what happened to that guy Brian you you to do you could get so fucked up you could get so fucked up doing the wrong thing. What happened to that? Dye Brian you you gave him you get you made him quit you broke him submit you broke him. Oh, yeah He just he just broke me just he goes Hey, I that's when I knew Brennan was like Brennan goes. Let's do another round and then I go no And that was it. He just couldn't do it anymore

Fuck dude, but but I that But that's kind of what it takes. So then I would put them up on stage and I go, I'm gonna pretend to be late. You get up on stage and tell a story. Just tell a story. So he was, is that right? Yeah. So he was fucking go. 1200 people.

Cause we had Seattle, there's 1200 people on the theater. Think about it, you've never done any stand up. You've never done it. I make you get up. But he would just do these weird breathing exercises and he would just go fearless Wow, we were doing a stunt. This is the one what I knew there he was different. We were doing a stunt and What we're doing is that we're on a horse. We had to be a friend. We both be on a horse now a big horse now a horse sir

is here a Horse yeah, and we're in the the desert. So there's rocks and cactus shrubbery and shit like that. Same here, where they shot the reverend. It's a desert, same way. It's a desert, short rocks. You know the rocks like this? Yeah, yeah.

So we, they would have been funny if we could fall off the horse, but we need stuntmen. So I go, but we need stuntmen, we need horse guys, and it's very difficult so I was trying to figure out and Brennan goes, well, let's just do it. I go, what? And he goes, let's just, we'll just fall off the horse together. And I go, what? No, but you can't fall off the horse because you'd fall off and then it's, you have to be a stuntman because you're gonna

like, you're gonna go up from the horse onto the ground, which is six, seven feet. Yeah. And he goes, he goes, yeah, I know. We'll just, we'll ride, we'll, like, rock galloping, and then we'll just, we'll fall off the horse. And I go, and land on one, he goes, our backs, I don't know. And I go, I go, I go, that's too dangerous because you can't do that unless you're trained and you have padding. You know what he did? I swear to God, dead serious, he goes,

you're such a pussy man. And I went, I'm not a pussy. A lot was riding on the shot. I'm not a pussy, I'm just a pussy. And I'm not a pussy, I'm just a pussy. I couldn't believe you were too, he was willing to do that. I don't know the real thing is like I don't care Like people talk you want to talk like Well, you can save your tough and stuff

I but I've seen him do these where he's willing to do the craziest shit And you're like, oh you played football for that long and you fought an accaze everything else is easy Yeah, everything else is easy his mainarring partner was a guy named Shane Carwin who was 285 pounds, six foot three, and hit harder than anybody in the history of the UFC and had the biggest hands in the UFC. If you ever seen what Shane Carwin looks like. Well, no, bring him up for a second.

Bring him up for a second. Five days later. So that guy was 285 pounds. So I can no further training. So he would pay for my training. Wow. Yeah, he beat the fuck out of Brock Lesnar and until he gassed out. Fuck that, I was Wow. Yeah, he beat the fuck out of Brock Lesnar and until he gasped out.

Fuck that, that was it. Yeah, dude, fuck that. That's what he had to fight every day. Fuck that, he had to wake up and fight that guy. Oh my God. That's what he had to fight. That's him. That was him.

But dude, he's six, two, six, three, and 285 pounds. And I don't see any fat on him. Look at Brandon next to him. Look at Brandon next to him. Look at Brandon next to him. That's only one of the re-enphired belt. Look, look right there. I cornered him. Holy.

Look at a young Brandon Shobb with his fucking spine pull. Head size difference is crazy too. And that was when Nate Markquan had a real head. Yeah, that was the head. What I said this before though about Brandon, what I really respect is that to go from that and have fans and have people know you and then go into stand up which is hard

and gotta get good at it. They're watching you develop from somebody that doesn't know how to do the art with experience because you're just getting into it to then open, micro, to then getting up there to then middle to then headline. You had an audience for that. And that's what I, because we don't have audiences for that. We have, we have the hard nights and we do that, but we go home and we kind of with ourselves. You were doing that in public and that's why I think it's so dope and I think that that's why.

Well, people like to hate and stuff. It's like, you know, hard to fucking put. He's always trying. He's always doing the best he can. It's fucking really hard. Stand up is fucking really hard. He went from football to fighting to stand up and yet it's all really fucking fucking rangle fucking alligators next to the fuck. No, he just wants to be more dumb. He's always just wanted to be a comic. Yeah, I love stand up.

He's here as heroes where Jim Carrier. Yeah, out of sandwich. All right, enough about me. What do you have Mark? Actually, Paul, you go with Tom because it's 204 right now. Yeah, well how much do you want to like, like 10 more minutes? If we get current events, probably like another 15, 20. So you can bounce that one. Can you let me go? it's 204 right now. Yeah, well how much you long like what like 10 We did kind of it's probably like another 15 20 so you can bounce out

You know I can stick around I can do like 10 more Yeah, if I could do I got to go to I gotta go to Beverly Hills I got another one with this with this girl justine marino We got me they got yeah, I mean I could yeah Or does it make sense or is it makes somebody order your car does it makes no I drove oh where I have a rental But does it make sense for me leave now so you guys can tell that it's all about your 10 more minutes. You're good You're good. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna then Yeah, that's good. All right, so the first one is Conor McGregor you guys talking about fighters

So Conor Gregor is gonna be in a movie in on Amazon Prime Ronda was supposed to be in this though She's supposed to be the lead. Yeah, you know, I was supposed to be in it back in the day You're supposed to be a two mark you I did get be the lead. Yeah. Back in the day. You're supposed to be in too, Mark? You. I did get the script. What? I mean, script for the guest. No, I mean, I'm just getting the idea though that acting, like all the shit's start

to make me think acting's not that hard. Like, no, no, I'm not saying it, listen, I know that it's just, like, everyone's in fucking shit now. Everybody's doing shit now, you know? It's hard to get to like the, I think it's hard to get to an acting level where you're really like now hold on Because now is Connor gonna be able to pull off what Jake general and like carry the movie now No, it's Connor gonna sell tickets to the theater. Yes, and that's why and I'm not saying I'm not saying come He might be the one guy who can pull it off, but here's the thing kind of a Greg am I gonna be a great actor?

I'm not saying that but like Lebron James is in like space jamming shit They're it's kind of like it's awful, but I think it's acting so bad. Oh, my God. Dude, there's, there's argument that Jordan's better. You see Jordan in space jam? LeBron, like, do you have to read off the QCAR? Did you, did you not remember the line? Really? He's like, oh my God, we have to beat these hot stars. Connor might surprise you. He might be, surprise you he might be he might imagine he wins an Oscar that speech be shut your fucking mouth shut your mouth so check out the mouth so it's about Jake Joan Hall he's the lead he's gonna be playing a former UFC fighter yeah yeah it's a remake of Roadhouse from yeah but that was funny like you have see fighter Brendan got an audition

We like and I took my ring light with me on the road to do this then we look at it It's like eight pages with all these actouts and you're getting like eaten by a cry I was like who's gonna do this for this like you know the role was substantial But it's like it was the longest audition like That's the stuff so I pretend I don't want to get it. Yeah, I look at that and then I was just like, I need to shoot in, was that to make a republic, how long, you know, you, if, it'd be a long shot for me to get the role.

And then if I do get it, how long am I gone from the, I just launched this, a network. So it's like, you know, pros, come to me. We would have spent the day shooting the audition. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. So I just want to give this guy props, this pizza guy, he's still here.

Do you guys hear about this or no? He saved five children from a burning house. Oh, fuck, he just got there at the right time. Whoa. And you can see him, he even passes out from all the smoke. Yeah, from all the smoke. That car right there is something cool there. To let him know there are houses on fire.

I still see him here. Guys, come here. There's one more kid. He took all four kids out and then one more kid so he grabbed the other day Whoa, look at how crazy this fire is what pizza It makes you want to order the pizza. Oh my god. That's the last kid. He got all them out They said their parents and then look at him. He's just he's passed out. I can't even breathe And look what he says Listen here What badass, right what the fuck? What about the prison where the pizza hate to be a dick man What bad ass, right? What if the fuck, what about the person who works

the pizza, hey, you can be a dick man. Did you get that pepperoni score? That can't match for 30 minutes. Did the parents get killed? Two bucks short. I don't know the details of, like the parents who've been there. If the parents are killed, they would say it in the article,

but the fact that they saved these five kids. I love that. I love that. Sleepin' right? So he was invited. He was invited. What's up? That guy deserves a million dollars and like a-

So much. I mean, come on. He started to go fun from that fun. No, he does. And it's probably killing around. But so he was invited to the NASCAR Brickyard 200 or something like this. He's in the NASCAR, though.

Yeah, he's already got plenty of reward for what he did. But yeah, he did a good asker. He had to go, find me. I'm sure he's killing on goal. They act quickly rushing the homelining four children's safety. There was a seat-year-old girl trapped still inside. He found her and jumped from a second, swed in, and in his arms, using his body to cushion the fall.

That wasn't just a fire. That was a fall. Dude, that didn't look like a ferno. That was a fireball. That was literally the whole house That's back to the cheese nuts, but she's in an ask our cuz these goals are become an ask our driver So it's best back story in history if he becomes an ask our driver. Yeah, well, I mean Oh my god, he's just a movie ever How great would that guy story beat Rudy? Okay, okay, I thought he might put that we'll pass that we'll pass this to let's go to mark stuff

Actually, yeah, look it's gonna put that. We'll pass that. We'll pass this too. Let's go to Mark's stuff. Actually, yeah, look, let's go to Mark's stuff. Give me one sec. Bradley Cooper hosts 46th birthday. Have Gary. Okay, no. So, what are you gonna do? So Bradley Cooper is now rumored to be dating Huma who was...

Oh, Omar, Anthony. Anthony and Erick. Yeah, that's why I thought was interesting. Oh, that's interesting. Remember the guy who's actually doing D.P? Anthony, we know it's hilarious. Yeah, where is that is he like? With the guardian angels Curtis Silva now what Radio show with oh is yeah interesting to do nothing is serious nothing is real anymore

You fucking you're saying a 15 year old pictures of your dick and I guess No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Anderson Cooper and, uh, was it any Tucker Carlson doing a show together? No. Oh, I was thinking, oh, dude. Dude, your neck almost broke. He just goes, dude, hey, I'm so in. And he just bit him back. I'm not to with that beat. That would be a pop-tap.

That might be much watch TV though. Fuck it. Because I was like, I need some to watch. That would be fucking great. They should do shit like that. That's how Larry. Tucker Carlson, to me, is so, like, the way he laughs at things. I'm like, that's just insane Tucker Carlson just all you go. No, I

Tucker Carlson Literally his entire show which he gets views he's just roasting Biden for an hour's Oh, yeah, it's not really has He really has riders. He's good. He's got great riders, man, because. A lot to work on, because, you know, there's a lot of stuff I didn't like about myself, and then when I had a kid, I was like, oh my god, I feel like, yeah, I'm contagious. Anything thinking you thought you could hide something.

You know, no, they cannot see. I have a temper, man. You can't hide that. Like if I was you know, no, no, we're not hiding your temper. Turn on the cause of the temper. Well, if I could, I'm trying to figure out what is the cause of it. I'm trying to know the cause of it brother. I don't start that. Why am I mad? Why? I know you know why you know why you're mad. Where would you? Oh, fuck. Oh, that yeah, but that's what I just figured out. But for years when I would yell at my phone, I thought I hated technology. Oh, you're made of drugs. I'm totally honest. No, you're not. You silly. No, you know, you know? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH where were the anger? Bill tried to get out, he was like, I thought it was, we were on his way. That was like fun. That was like some therapist shit, like that profession of doctor shit. That guy, well, that guy, I thought it was a great dude. Yeah, doctor Tyson.

Dr. Tyson, an hour a week with him. He said that fucking mushrooms changed everything for him that literally changed his brain. He was siphoned to you. Cause he's like, when people say nice things, I love this guy. You know this guy? My son watches it all the time.

And his friend, Wait, take your son over here. And you're asking the guy to go punch. They're asking him, why do you hit you, why do you hit you? And I thought they're not worried because if someone punches my friend, I'm just gonna go over to whatever the situation is.

It starts smack in everybody and we'll find out why later. And if I... Share a point. Share a point. Share a point. When you're a world champion kickboxer, you know, but you don't have to And a fair point. Fair point. Fair point. Fair point. When you're a world champion kickboxer, you know, but you don't have to be a world champion.

I'm just fucking fair point. I'm sad. Ask questions. Maybe my school thought, yeah. That's fucking great. Somebody the fucking punch is my friend, you know. Her worst thing ever is that to Amber Turd. No, you didn't tell me the story, tell.

So when we were like 20, you know, Brody Jen, yeah. Brody Jen. Brody Jen. Brody like 20 Broder Jen are Brody night go up and Brody is gonna hit on Amber who is and She just moved out here from Texas, and we're quizzing her, you know, he's trying to you know date her You know go on a date. Okay, I'll have her bro. Do you like it? So and it's like 10 years ago or more? No, this is 15 years ago. Okay, he just went to LA All right, and she like famous working?

No. Okay, just a hot girl. She just moved here from Texas. Okay. And she's like, I'm not going on a date with you. I'm, this is verbatim, a little misquote. And he's like, huh? And she's like, I'm already dating a famous director.

I'm going to be a movie star. I wouldn't dare going on a date. And Brodie's response was, because she had this like, this big mole on her arm that looked very cancerous. He said, well, you should do. I'll never forget that. So I just get to a doctor and get that mole and I'm like, can't do it.

I'm like, can't do it. I'm like, can't do it. I'm like, can't do it. He's all vehicle. I'm concerned with your cancerous mole. I'm concerned with your cancerous mole. She's shown down, yeah, no doubts. That's not happening. Did that change shades in the last. Yeah

That has changed I've been watching you for a long time actually during this talk. I think it went dark god damn I hate kicking a head dead horse when it's on the ground, but you know, she kind of and sky puts up his head who hasn't contributed Anything all night. Listen He's got killed. He says no, no, this is a tough one. I think you're tribute. I've been running this business out of my dorm, and I'm about to graduate. I'm making about five million dollars free cash flow.

And I said, I don't hear a problem. He said, that's not the problem. My fiance came to me today and said that she's going to leave me. And I said, why? Because I'm not spending any time with her family. I don't have any time on weekends. I can't go out to the soccer games or her nephews and stuff. And I didn't go. I just can't because I'm so busy. And I got to keep my business going. I got to graduate my degree. What do I do? Breakable. One is easier to replace. The girlfriend or the business.

I mean, you got to ask a question. Wow. It's facts, though. We're seeing college. Well, especially if it's not a marriage and it's like dating thing, like that's the difference. It's not like you're, it's not like your wife is going. You're not around your kid. Your actions speak louder than your words. You know, it's more important.

You, you are sorry, but the fact is you're having're not around your kids. Your actions speak louder than your words. You know it's more important. You are sorry, but the fact is, you're having more fun building your business. He doesn't love that girl. Yeah, like. I mean, he might, but also he's in college, so he's like, and maybe he's not very attractive, dude. So he's like, I want to do things with the business ties up all my time.

It's just not worth it. Sometimes you're ashamed. Actually, sometimes you're appalled at where your real priorities are that can happen That is sometimes you can be like there are people. I'm sorry. There are people you're supposed to love That they could die or they could you could never see them again not that you could never see them again You'd be just fine. You know what I'm saying? You and I've talked about this before It's like you got your friends and then there it's some of the things

What you'd rather be doing versus what you're supposed to be rather doing, is sometimes can be a big fucking secret. It can be very awkward. It's like, I'd rather be doing, yeah. I'd rather be working on this. I'd rather be writing and not be with you. Is that it, fellas?

That's it. Dude, thanks for having me, man. You the best. Covers, dude. It's so fun. It's so fun. Yeah, by the way, if anybody's in, I'm leaving tomorrow, but if anybody's in California tomorrow,

I'm doing the new California comedy club, the same people that own New York comedy club on 24th Street, they made a replica club that's like an 80 cedar in the Silver Lake area. I'm gonna be running a long set there tomorrow night at eight o'clock. That's amazing, man. I didn't know that. Silver Lake's not far from. Yeah. I'm gonna be running a long set there tomorrow night at eight o'clock. That's amazing, man. I didn't know that.

Yeah, yeah. Silver Lake's not far from the city. Yeah, I'm gonna be, I'll be, yeah, Soul Jolls on the 17th of September. Guys, I'm going to London, dude, for the first time ever. I'm gonna go see the Giants play the Packers on the ninth in London, but I'm gonna be performing at

Soho 21 or 21 Soho in London. You could check that out. I got a one-nighter watched in London, you could check that out. I got a one-nighter watched in DC. Those are gonna sell out, I'm only doing one show, watched in DC in Prove, the 19th of October, and the 20th, I'll be at the Philadelphia punchline and a bunch of new dates are coming that you can get on PaulVersi.com and check out

nocturnal admissions managed streaming on Netflix right now. It's doing fantastic, I'm very grateful. You got a great great part and yeah do two podcasts one the verzy effect where i have guests here and there sometimes by myself and uh... i co-host one with bill burkle anything better so check all that stuff out appreciate you keep rushing by the we love you man you know that's best thanks uh... baltimore this Thursday Friday sat at me bald wine out the summer but get your ass out there and then one night, one show only, August 26,

in Chicago, downtown Chicago, Den Theater, that's one show only, Alporton West, constant September 8th through the 10th, then Ontario, Improv, Ontario, California, September 15th through the 17th, and then I'm back in Boston, baby, Laugh Boston is September 29th through October 1st. Get your tickets at thinkboy.com or FATKZ.com.

B, you got a little bit of a break. I got a break, but actually just in August 18th, I'll be in Salt Lake City for one night, I'm doing wise guys. August 18th take is just one on sale. Wise guys, one night, that's a Thursday. Then I go to Bora Bora. Oh no, no, I'll be back for that. I go to fucking my friends wedding. Nashville, Tennessee, Zainey's August 26th, 27th, San Jose, California, Improv's, September 15th, 17th, Spacan, Washington, September 22, 23, 24k, ticket.

See you in a bit. Let's take kids, Baltimore, see you this week. Ball, love you brother. Keep pressure. We're out. Have fun. Thanks, Paul. Thank you guys so much for having me. Paul, love you brother. Keep crushing it. We're out. Have fun. Thanks, Paul. Thank you guys so much for having me.

Anytime. You're awesome. Nice meeting you, Paul. Pleasure, man. Happy birthday, man. Thank you, bro. Have a nice day.