The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 838: Dane Cook and Bryan Callen's Dueling Tom Cruise Stories

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

Dane Cook stops by Thiccc Boy Studios to discuss his new special "Above it All" and the decision to self finance, self distribute, and film it in front of his own house, his love for Tom Cruise stories, what it was like to know Patrice O'Neal coming up, why so many great comics come from Boston, his crazy stalker, the upcoming documentary about his brother robbing millions of dollars from him, and the time he almost got murdered by dolphins.  DraftKings: If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Eligibility restrictions apply. Free bets: New customers only. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. Bet must win. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Profit Boost: Opt-in req. 1 profit boost token issued per customer. Min. 3-leg same game parlay bet. Max bet $50. Profit boosted 100% on addt'l winnings.  Ends at the start of the main card fight of UFC 280. See terms at draftkings.com/mmaterms. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the fighter and the kid Hyde the run it back Cause we back at it again Yeah, we gon' keep it moving like it's never gonna end When it was brining, when it was bright And when it was just talkin' to friends We got the kid galling on the left With the fighter on the right

Hey, how'd they do it right? Cause we comin' at your lock Back with the team I'd be keepin' OG, my CTV I had to do it Yes, we did Cause we back at it again It's the fighter and the kid It's the did, cause we back at it again. It's the fight on the kids.

It's the fight on the kids. Back at it again. It's the fight on the kids. The fight on the kids. Back at it again. It's the fight on the kids. The fight on the kids. It's the fight on the kids.

This is really the fight on the kid we're out Want to catch us for social not have you keep it in that nine by 16 Okay Just get this shit. I want to go go go go Just roll you want me to sleep my name. I'm gonna stand six one. It is six one still You know why because I'm not beta And I have a spine my spine goes straight up towards the fucking moon No

Shramp my feature act in 98 You're looking you're looking strong thanks man, but I still have to adjust the t-shirt like when you see you know how you like you sit Yeah, I have the t-shirts in the wrong spot see, you know how you like your sit? Yeah, yeah. And if the T-shirts in the wrong spot. Yeah, that's a problem. Then, it's a problem. Because you never lose your body dysmorphia and that's the most important thing.

I'll never lose my body dysmorphia. He'll never lose his body dysmorphia. I never. Look at that. What's that? Sorry, let me adjust. Well, you pick me up. No, it's not, there's no weights anymore.

But it's all about just staying flexible. The swimming. Feeling good. The heated Pilates. No, I don't throw any weights around anymore. Dane pulled up to us in his cheap sauce, so like hit the accelerator and peeled out, got out of the truck and goes, let's go.

And then you grabbed me and lifted me off the ground. Yeah, and I try to put you into like a standing 16 hours or I pretty much control the guzzle, right? Yeah, that's what I was doing. Oh, I couldn't get it up and I just be like such a pain. I'd be like, I guess here we go. Yeah, well, it's never done that. That's a, you feel pretty good about yourself.

When you're in that standing 60, I'm I never, that's when you're super horned. It seems exhausted. It is exhausting. So that's why it's like you get a lock one leg out and then like lean against a mantle or something right there. And then you're you're pretty much just controlling the entire tempo of the ride at that point.

You put on the e-bases. She's all those tiny braces. That's when you get a fucking good back work. Let's get a proper intro in here for me guys. Just so you can. So the guys know what's going on. Pion here. Pion here.

Pion here. Still doing it at the highest level. Still doing it. Still doing it. Somebody saw you the other day and said, the motherfucker is a flame thrower. Go, I go, what do you think he is? What do you think he stopped being funny?

And still he got, like a whole different comic. You know what, I'm just gonna dial it in. They were like, dude, he was so funny. Oh, really, somebody thought that I was gonna be coming in doing like, you know what I mean? It's like, it's an outrageous something. I got mad at them.

I go, I go, I go, wait a minute, Dan Cook was funny for 20 minutes. Oh, really? What? He's never outrageous something. I got mad at them. I go, I go, I go, wait a minute, Dan Cook was funny for 20 minutes. Oh really? What? He's never done that. That must be such a mess. That's like all the bucket nears game. You're like, man, Tom, ready again, right?

Yeah, like, y'all. But you can't get into that point though in a comedy career. You could go out. You could just dial in a couple of lines, and you'd be like, I'm going to hand it over to Scooby over here. And I'm just going to end then you're just sitting like, sip something and somebody comes out and finishes and then you do an interlude in back into the next

beginning piece of material. That'd be good. 31 years swinging ha ha and I gotta tell you I've never and uh true talk here permission to speak freely. Please permission. I feel like I am dialed in and exuding and being introspective in a way I always hoped to get to that I kind of thought I wasn't sure if it would happen. Being able to really dig deep, go inward and share some of the fucking scary things, the trauma, the capsizing moments. You can't get there until you capsize. You can't get there until you've gone through the trauma.

That is true. Right? And do you feel like when you and I were talking at't get there until you've gone through the trauma. You can't. That is true, right? And do you feel like when you and I were talking at the improv, do you feel like the younger generation? And I figured you knew it was going to come with the appreciation, like the respect you have. It's like, now you know, G, like because you were like a pioneer, right, the my space in your marketing,

I'm influenced by it, sholts is influenced by it. Everybody is. Kevin, I know. And you were the first one to do it. And you feel the reason, because anybody I talk to, especially if they have a marking mind, every, every one of the elections,

they think of, they think of. And do you feel that respect? I think what I feel, which I like more than the building blocks of whatever the tech was at the time going, are you broken through my space? Or I think it was the fact that comedians, speaking of comedians specifically, are entrepreneurial,

but we didn't really know how to use the other 23 hours of the day and a multi-high-finated, aggressively wanting to be elected comedy president kind of way. And to see so many comics now, like be able to tip the hat and go, oh, dude, you were one of the first people to really figure out, oh yeah, yeah, no, this is a full-time job. It's not just getting the laughs at night

and hoping that resonates or word of mouth, it's what can I do all day long to try to bring people in. It's changed. The game has changed. Yeah. It seems to happen in a good way. In a good way. Yeah.

Yeah, anybody I know. You guys talk amongst, I'm gonna take a guess. Anybody I know around the water coolers gives give staying good yeah, like even we were that time We did that set with Bill Burr at the lab factory right popped in on the retouching them and you got brought up And he was like dude when that motherfucker. I forgot you came up with all those I always forget that you're a fucking Boston guy We do we were bur were Patrice, Gary Gullman, Bobby Kelly, one back from Rogan. So we were following Rogan kind of around town and watching him leather jacket, fucking just care. Like all attitude, but he had to,

and we had to because the pillars in Boston at the time were a bunch of monsters that didn't make it the Hollywood route. And they came back and not only were they just masters of their craft, but they were like, we're not letting any of these dudes up. We're running the town. We're taking the cash, the bag is ours. It was me.

It could be. But I would be. But Bur Bert said this and he goes, he's talking about when you guys come up, you had some bit where you're a T-Rex, you walk on the table, he's like, fall, nobody want to fall. Dude, dude, he's like,

none of us would want to fall on that. That's what he goes, no, no, no. He was like, I don't fuck you dude, he's walking on the table. I said, I said this many times.

There are two people I've never seen crush harder. Dane Cook, when you would do those Dublin shows, and Rogan, when he would do that, two tigers fucking, I have never seen, and I've done some stuff, I've never seen any of you do that shit. Maybe Charlie Chaplin. Dude, when he would do, you know, he got me back in the comedy. So when I saw that.

So you have told me this a couple of times. Yes. So I would, I'd stop doing stand-up. I was just an actor. And I remember Rogan going to your third... A very good actor, by the way. Just saw Warrior again the other day it was on. And all your banter with the, it was very good. Thank you, sir.

Very well. But when I, when I, I was, I stopped doing it. I was an actor. I remember I had a conversation with Rogan, he goes, you're gonna start doing stand-up again at 33. He said go. I'm thinking about it, you know, and then I saw you at fucking Dublin's and I was watching you Do like I have a friend who has these terrible the pets that buy that some he had a pet Ram something pet suck And my Ram I my buddy has a ram. Dude your ram. He's ramming me dude You have no idea.

I was, you were the little place, you know the Apollo where people would explode. That's what it was like. And I remember going home and I go, I have to do stand up, I have to, I gotta feel a little bit of what that's like. Cause otherwise my life's cool. Here's what's cool that everybody know

has a dang cook store, like that. Like, I got a few as well. Yeah, yeah. Like for you and you don't know this. You know the first comedy show I ever saw in LA, I came out with Joe Klomstner, two girlfriends at the time. We're staying at some terrible hotel in Hollywood. You know, we'd have any money. He's got a lot of laughter. Yeah. We had some terrible hotel. We didn't have much money. And we'd buy tickets to the lab factory and then cook

He was the first like live comic ever saw. Yeah, holy shit and then when that first time I say day too That was probably like right when it was really starting to get that would that been 2006 That would that was when I purposely would drive toward the club up laurel So that I could come over the ridge and see the line out there. And I'm not even kidding. Every time I saw it, I'd be like, wow, this is fucking working, man. This is so cool. Oh, it was, it was, it was nuts.

I've never seen that back in a while time. I like that. And I remember the first time I ever had line that Lat Factory, I took a picture of my, and I was like, remember the last time you were here, dude, I was like, look at this, man. Wow. You're seeing Dan Cook. He's like, holy shit. You want to sign that picture for you? Yeah, please. That's and that's what he resigned right here I

It's just a giant post-pull that on my emanating fucking. I'm like yeah, here's the ticket from there. Sorry guys Hey, do the sign here. Here's the ticket. You're the way He's just just lumbar because there's a fucking like a skull inside what is right? What the fuck is inside? Oh, you know What it is? No, no is inside? Oh, you know what it is It's liver because the liver king packed it with liver. That was the liver king's out there There's something that pokes. Oh, yeah, you're right. All right there. Yeah No, the liver king you so rich. He brought his own table guys back to one can we just do right right from the start? From the start. Let's start. Let's start on the picture.

I'm gonna sign it. Do we have it? Guys, props. Prop, get a pen. It's gotta be the gold pen. That, but that time also was like, Cowlands in there were full time. The lineups, Harlan's in there.

Some of the guys that were coming, the Freddy, Soto's in there, like, and those shows are unlike anything I'd seen before, or maybe even to this day. I mean, once in a while you'll get one of those scorching lineups, but just showcase lineups. Oh my gosh.

Those gigs, man. Oh, they were something special. And if you didn't come in really ready to go, it was gonna be you up. Yeah, you were there. You were following, I'd be following. Some way, he would usually close it, but sometimes you have to follow him,

you have to follow fucking Harlan Williams, who is a monster on the right day. Oh my God. I had to follow the other night, monster. I've seen what Harlan did one time. We were doing a sort of a festival, and it was me and a bunch of comics. I think Steve Burn, myself, just I don't know who it was,

but everybody had headliners, and Harlan got up the last and did all of our sets in his own words and did a collage of our sets and destroyed and it took the audience about three minutes on stand what he was doing. Yeah. We were all like this. I couldn't believe he's one of the best like improvisational off the top. You know, I put him in employee the month. And every scene that Harlan did,

I don't think he ever, quite literally, I don't think he ever read anything that was on the script, ever, ever. We would go into scenes. And by the way, we had Andy Dickens scenes, which was like bonkers, but by these genius. So imagine Andy Dick in Harland. And if you watch any of those scenes,

because the movie is now a classic. Let's face it. Oh, go watch my shoulders because I'm like this so many times because I'm just trying to not laugh at these motherfuckers. Look at both of them. Yeah, they're already hilarious. Here's my favorite Andy Dick story. Andy came to set and he was very well behaved and he was super lucid and cool.

And we were a little nervous, little trepidacious because you're not sure what you're gonna get with Mr. Andy. Yeah, don't know. Well, the wheels came off at week five. We had one more week of filming. And Andy just decided to go fucking NFL Blitz on the entire big box store we were filming in. And he ran around and let's just say,

and I'm gonna be kind of like, I'll try to be political. Let's say he grabbed people in parts of their body that maybe you just don't grab. Roundup on you know it'd be frowned upon right. He just ran Rickshaw by you know with his digits. It's usually some big dude some big stuff. It was every kind of person in that store because the store was still open in some places where we were filming the employee of the month scenes and others. A natural Costco? Yeah, yeah. And so the police were involved and for the rest of the shoot,

for the next week, what? What was that? The police were involved. Was that a, oh, I thought you were chushing me. That's what I'm trying not to laugh. Oh, shoot, that was one of the most interesting laughs I've ever heard. I think the people laughed by just saying it was wrong?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the police had to be there. And the last, I know the scenes, the last week of filming, it would be like, say, I'm standing next to Andy Dick, and then out of frame, you don't see one foot away, is a cop who had to stay within six feet of Andy. And so there's scenes where I'm looking at Andy,

but I'm actually looking at the cop who is like standing right next to him, making sure he doesn't bolt. And the cop laughs. There he out. Yeah, he was having a good time with it, but Andy would pretend to run away everyone to the aisle. And so like four or five times, they say,

cut, and then Andy would go like that in the cop, and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and then of course, like on the very last day of, they go, cut, then Andy would go like that in the copy and then of course like on the very last day of they go cut and Andy really darts because the cops on his wrong fucking putty is the wrong ankle, he's not ready to like actually and then he ran around the whole story again and that's when he was pretty good. Well now Andy does that on the streets of like Baltimore

and he's paste dearly. It's still hilarious. Oh he's so hilarious. He's so funny. When you got in the standup because there's been guys like getting Murphy and Martin Lawrence, where you get so big Kevin Hart, obviously he was usually your game plan,

but was Hollywood movies was the goal or no? It was a hope, but it was almost like that just came through people that were fans of the standup that were kind of becoming what they were in producers and the executive side and directors, like Kevin Costner put me in Mr. Brooks because he used to come down to the factory. He would come down and you check out the shows.

And when I submitted a, I remember you telling me about this, too. Yeah, it was like I submitted a tape to Costner and he wouldn't have probably honestly watched it if he wasn't a fan of the stand up already. So when he called me, he was like, you really put some time into this tape and I was like, I want it.

I want to go toe to toe and he was like, I'll see in truthport and that wouldn't have happened if he wasn't a fan of the standup. Yeah. Hey Kevin Cosner, what's up with putting Dan Cook in yellow stones, season five, bro? You was a cowboy. I'm already talking to him about this next thing

that he's doing. He hit me up about a month ago. He goes, you know what today is? I go, what? And he goes 15 years since Mr. Brooks, happy anniversary. And we had a really beautiful chat. And that guy, I've learned more from Kevin Costner, just as far as like, how to be a guy,

how to be on set, how to work your fucking crew and make everybody feel like it's just, you know, it's everybody's prize when you win. And that is a class act. He's a lousy of your earth guy. I just watched Bull Durham and it holds up. His flavor saved us. Bull Durham's so good.

So good. I just watched it. So fucking good. What is it? We'll shave that, right? We'll shave that. I didn't know. I didn't know.

I didn't know. I was, right? Shave that. He looks like he was auditioning for Zahn. Yeah. How much did the more? I'd be beautiful. I'd still live.

And in Method actor and came into that role by kind of treating me as the character. Like, you know, I was a piece of shit. I was like this derelict, you know, and choose awesome, man. Like, I'm going, I'm in with A-listers in this thing going in my trailer every day, studying up, getting ready and being like,

I got a shot here at like doing something great with greatness. So I didn't skimp on that. I put all the effort into that. And I don't know if today's game, again, it's better for comics because you have more, you can be your own boss, right? You don't need agents to Hollywood, you can be the okay,

and you can put out your own special wherever you want. Yeah. You don't have to have the executives, right? Yeah, this is funny, right? That's good. But I think those days are kind of over I think as far as the comics Well, I think I think they're over there over there over in that nobody can trend for long So so it used to be you yeah, you would do something and you it would trend so if you had a special you do a special

For the next year people are repeating your jokes now There's so much content that if they get through five minutes of your shit, you're lucky because then they're recording the next thing. And I think our brains have been so rewired with reels and TikToks. It's just a thing. It's not because what happens is,

you, your body of work becomes, a, something you consume like candy, it becomes like a nibble. Your body of work becomes what it was that week. That's it. So they get a shot of dopamine. It gets turned into a shot of dopamine. It's like a company-old man.

But it's true. It becomes a shot of dopamine instead of a joke that people think about that sits with them. No, I was with a guy in San Jose, starring in this comic and he was like, yeah, I sold out my first week of man at it shows. I'm like, how long you been doing these all three years? I'm like, Jesus Christ.

And I go, what sold out? Did a clip, man, minute 30 clip. I'm like, the minute he just went viral. I'm like, holy shit. That's a career I'd be fascinated to like watch because that's tricky. When you get like invited into the inner circle, usually what normally would happen is you get there,

you know, based on maybe like one shining moment you've had, but then they're in the, what else do you got business? Yeah. And so to break through that rapidly, and to be able to fill the room, I want to know, like, but I think that because we're in an excerpt world that, and this is even like front and center of my new special, it's even more important. There can be no

garbage talk. They really can't be any fucking flotsam and jetsam. You gotta put real truth into whatever it is that you're putting out there Because I think that's what hooks people into wanting to watch the next clip of you. If they're getting something You know something really real as well as something really funny. What is this on above at all? So right now it's on mo moment, I parted with moment. That's where Sholtz went. Yeah, man, he fucking, like, I gave him all his flowers on that because he turned what was probably a negative into a huge positive.

And this company who I'd been meeting with before about wanting to do this independently came to me and showed me like, this is our system, this is our way of doing things. This is the way we run a contract. And it was so refreshing and different from the ownership of IP that comes with some of the other outlets that to me, I feel like this is the next thing. So it's not YouTube, it's moment is a website.

Yeah, you direct to your fair. Yeah, but here's the great part. You do a contract with them that goes, hey, let's do it like I did a 14 day run. Let's do 14 days. It's a page. They take a fee. You get your IP back at the very end of the run,

day 14, unless they go, you wanna do another seven days. You know all of it. So, thank you. You know what, you want seven or 14 days. But even better, even better. At the end of the 14 day run, they give you a, you know, a data sheet

or a little mini hard drive, get everything on it. I have every email, I have every phone number, I have all the region, I have all the analytics, all everything, they don't keep anything to go. Now come back to us, because we're the... And what made you decide to go that route? Obviously some guys, before I've had success with that, like Lucy Kayes, kind of the first one to go.

Talk to Louis about it. It is a lot. Loved, you know, looking at the guys that have done independent release. Of course, like just looking at every model that's worked and the things that have definitely not worked for me over the years and realizing they're going to spend so much time, effort, energy chasing your royalties that to own and operate your own material in a world where like you're doing, you're creating your own network already. Why pass it off to a person or people that are going to then third party it, whether they say they are or not, those fingers are going to go out.

They're going to receive a lot of income. And then the monetization that they received, you probably won't even know about, and then you're gonna sit and wait for maybe a year or two for your residual checks, and why are they gonna hold it? That's right. Because they're making the interest of your money holding it, and you will end up chasing, chasing,

I've had bad record deals that I'm still in breach of contract negotiations. I bet. To get back what I made, what I created. That's what I was going to say. Was there something that happened? I'm not going to traditional Rattie Moore. I'm going to do this. It was probably a mixture of some bad deals along the way, but also realizing from my career early. When I was selling these through my first websites, I was owning and operating the whole thing.

I was a fulfillment center. I was, and it was more gratifying. I, like, what I'm doing right now, I love this more than any other opportunity to do two or three, or do you want a package, or do you want to, no, I'd rather just in real time be able to watch and see where in the world my fans are enjoying my standup so that I can better target what I wanna do next. Ben Stiller just said about that great show. Severance, you watching that? It's good. Well, he's not even getting the streaming data.

I think he might have come out and like a Forbes or Rolling Stone. Even he's like, they won't tell me how many, well that's because then you'll leverage. What's it on? Well, you know, Netflix doesn't give you any analytics. Where's Severance on? Apple TV. Apple TV. Yeah, it's a big, big show Netflix on give you any analytics where's everyone's on? Apple Apple to be a to be a big show

You're not getting their information Netflix don't keep it all but and all they do is go. Hey, man But they know everything. Yeah, we paid you five real time. Imagine negotiating like it's just they don't make sense It doesn't seem legal, but obviously it is but but they go I hear five million for your first special But when I can want to go here here's 10 million. You're like, wow, double. But that's all leverage for you. If you know you're getting this many streams that's bombastic, of course they're gonna be like, oh man, now we gotta really put together a great perspective.

It's what I love about capitalism though. Moment comes along, company like that comes along, goes, here we'll solve that problem for you. You know what I mean? So I love it. I mean, there is thing to go into Apple or there is a thing about going to Netflix they have market share they have shelf space they're going to get it out there if they know how to if you get lucky enough of their algorithm but you're right. I think more and more you know content creators are going to own all their stuff which is such good news for us.

For sure. The first time in the business. Well, I think, you know what I hope, I actually hope it's a middle ground Brian. I hope that it's like, listen, if you're a popular streamer, you've got a great splash page, like skin in the game this with me. Come at me, don't give me a five year or maybe you own it in perpetuity.

Like, let's do something where it's like, all right, this is six months or a year. And then what that does is that puts the skin in the game for both of us to bolster it because we both want to win. And it also lets me keep up with the jargon of a contract that when the vernacular changes from downloads to streams, you're still giving me a couple of pennies off the dollar for the old jargon. But now because the languages changed, they're allowed to be more willing, nilly with how like, dude, I know all the legalese, I've spent way too much time with my attorneys going,

like, explain every page. I wanna understand this whole thing. Yeah, but you have your black belt in this. This is why I want to do it. I do. And I'm sharing the playbook with the success of moment. Once this is done, I'm gonna tell people a lot more of the nitty gritty, and why we should be doing this,

and why we should all be doing it so that other streamers are like, let's do something that's a little more participatory. Yeah, skin and glee. It's what I love about that, but not only you do. And I've made bank. It's like, and I self-finance the whole thing. I paid out of pocket for everything.

Every drone, Marty Colner came in, got blessed, and just the guy that put me on the map, still making me look great up there, but to own and operate your entire special and make it something at my house. Yeah, it's out of self. But there you go. On my front part.

But here's the thing, but you've always bet on yourself. I think that's why comics are spec because you've always bet on yourself, like what was the special after, you know, went through the whole drama with your brother, which we can get into or not if you want to? I slated incident. Yeah, and didn't you you took the money from that and then you funded your own special right? Well everything after like O8 was

Me owning my own catalog and putting it back in and like so everything troublemaker isolated rougher on the edges Madison Square Garden. I own all of those and this because you know't have it with his brother, right? Yeah. Yeah, he stole that money. Yeah, and then... Hey, Dan's been through some stuff, okay? You know, you're just talking, I said, you get over, part of life, where you get over, and you've been known each other for so fucking long. You guys want to do a prayer circle before you get to this,

because I'm starting to feel the whole energy shift in here. Yes, yes. I want to see a whole, let me put the tongue on the roof of my mouth, eight seconds in through. Yes. I couldn't do it, but I got three solid seconds and then exhale. He's good. By the way, my resting heart rate is always 66, by the way.

It never changes. I'm mental. You know what? That's it. It's not even worth going into because as you get older, what you realize is you're like, we can indulge in what's happened or we can just fucking have a laugh and move the fuck forward. Yeah, I don't mind and I'm unadulging because I am a I am a firm believer That everything that's happened to me in my life and I like to

To impart this on if I'm mentoring or just buddy buddy with somebody it's it's not bad I don't look at anything that's happened to me as bad. That's why bring up a beat down Sometimes makes you want to fucking get up and be like, all right, now I know I'd actually fight back. But that's why I bring you up, because it's so day and because we talked about the improv, is that situation out with his brother? And now, this shows in life, so this is out of pocket,

you can tell me to edit out. But now he's thinking about doing a documentary on that and how many brothers and sisters get together. Oh, that's a great idea, dude. That was your blood. Is he out of jail? He's out of prison. He served five of eight years.

He's my man, Jim. He's, that's about to walk. Now we want to talk about this. This is awkward. This is why we're in the love of this man. Check your accounts. I'm just going to say that one. The red flags I should look for.

What if he's my man? He, but he's reformed. He's reformed. Are you going to be in the documentary? That remains to be seen. Wow, can you imagine? I do want to cut, but it's so dang good. You imagine lemon to lemonade.

I will tell you this. It is if we do our job. If we're the big one. If I won't do it, so it's me with the wig. You're playing a pretend I'm dead. If we do our job correctly, the whole goal of this doc is, I want whoever is gonna distribute it to go,

fuck, is this comedy or true crime? I want it to be in either or both columns because nobody knows how dark, I've never, I've talked about it. You guys don't know how dark it really got. People don't realize how sinister. You told me the story, but I don't know if dark it really got. People don't realize how. You told me the story, but I don't know if you got. Not all of it.

Not all of it. Not the stuff that took years in therapy to fucking undo that knot, man. Those moments of betrayal where you just stare at that fucking knot and go like, all right, what am I learning from this? Where's the dad in this? Did you find when you go through, like I know exactly what you mean by betrayal and stuff. Did you find that sometimes when you go through, like I know exactly what you mean by betrayal and stuff, did you find that sometimes when you go through something you lose your faith in people

or you get the betrayal or whatever. You hate people like me, bruh. And what happens is it's really hard not to be fucking in the way that I was so naive. I liked everybody. I prefer real. Yeah, it's true. But I like that.

Exactly, and he has a lot of people like me, bruh. Yeah, he'd laugh at me because I like everybody. Come on in, my house, it's true. But I like that. He's laughing, he's laughing, he's laughing, yeah, he laughing because I like everybody. Come on in, my house, it doesn't matter. I used to be like that. But you get older and- Boundaries, but it's hard, dude. It's hard not to let it affect your overall truthful look at the world.

It wasn't hard, no. I even though it crushed me because I loved my brother and I couldn't believe that that guys could we get some WD 40 for the chairs maybe at a break point or something or maybe we could just do a pause in a job. I told you it's got ears like a fox okay. It's got ears like a fox. It's it's woopy cushions or something happening over there. It's really pulling me. Maybe one of us. This is one of the most important parts of the retention rate is gonna be so fucked for this

out of the most important parts of the retention rates gonna be so fucked for this out of the zone. David. Start again, dude. No, no, no. In all sincerity, it did not throw my trust out of whack because even though I was like in the undertow for a while, I understood that it was him. I didn't start going like the whole world. I was already in Hollywood enough to know, okay, Piranha's a lot of fucking shitty people and I got the business out of it,

but it didn't affect my personal relationships. The people that were in my life that I love were still there after and new people coming in my life. Almost had a better awareness of like, maybe where I was, more mindful people were coming in my life. Where you and your brother close growing up? Live together.

Yeah, very close. Like an older younger brother. Yeah, he's six years older. Yeah, my, my your brother close growing up? Live together. Yeah. Very close. And older, younger brother. Yeah, he's six years older. Yeah, my tour manager, I tell him, don't thank me, dude. It's your tour. I think I became a tour manager.

It's not your brother and mom. Yeah, from my mom's previous marriage. Okay. So, same mom. Same mom. See, it's so, it's your half-blood brother. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But all this stuff that we're gonna. Would you have a hot, if you walked in right now? Would I give him a hug? I'm a hot, that's an interesting question. We might see, we'll have to see what happens with the. How am I in? Dude, when you told me this at the improv,

I was like, oh my God, I'm so in. We might, you never know, but I will say there's some interesting people that wanna be in the doc and talk about, because we're gonna cover the upper echelon of comedy, because we have to explain what was happening. I don't wanna do a documentary about my, I'm a young 50, I'm almost 22, when you look at me,

you got a 20 year old body, keep going. Thank you so much. How long? The way you move bro. I'm back is broken from this fucking chair after I leave here. But the way you move bro, you float. You already picked talent up.

You got 140 pounds I got. Dude I just fucking bright y'all but I almost swan dive you right out of the knob. I would never want to fight you. I wouldn't last a minute. What? Because you could beat me up or fuck me. Upside down gobbles.

We're almost taking place at the moment. Gobble gobble, happy Thanksgiving. You fucking man. For me for everybody. Sorry. I'm wild. Sorry bro, sorry. You fucking man for me for everybody. Sorry, bro. Sorry. I would like to see the edited for television version of this conversation where they just put like banana and fish bone Every other word for some reason

And then the next way to version is just fucking cock and balls. Yeah, the only fans version But I'm not in that just you guys, but yeah with with the doc. It's just not gonna be folks I'll that's be the whole comedy cuz you know I love when you talk about it. It's really when you talk about it It's when you talk about coming up in the Boston days. Yeah for like a younger comic I love hearing about those days. Yeah, and the guys and like just the guys love hearing about those days. And the guys and like, just, you guys were such savages, man. Like all the guys.

Yeah, because the whole scene was predicated on men doing comedy. And it was like the Lenny Clarks and the Don Gavins and the Steve Sweeney's, these guys were just fucking, like they were like, they were intimidating, sitting at the back of the room before they were set. This wasn't the comedy scene where you thought everybody's just like, you wanna write some jokes together?

Let's talk each other out. It was like, you do four minutes. If you do four and a half, I'm throwing my beer at you. Get the fuck off it for. All right, and don't do any of that and they tell you something you shouldn't do. And you'd be like, oh, it's gonna be a success. I got it.

I got it. You had to earn their respect. It was a hazing back. It was a real hazing. And guys like. I got five minutes. You know, you had to earn their respect. It was a hazing back. It was a real hazing. And guys like Burr, like, I give credit to Burr because Burr was so different in stand-up. Like, he's probably the one who, who evolved the most. I agree.

His early stand-up was like, his stick was like kind of like a little, I'm the dork and I'm kind of goofy and, you know, and like no no no it was like it was really he was a dental assistant different yeah he was a dental assistant with the ginger and a scrawny pasty kid who when he came in it was like he had Patrice who is just like savage from the beginning and then even Bobby Kelly to some point was just like real ball ballbuster, you know what I mean? Like when the show went into disarray, he was so good at like, like if there's a loose rope, it fucking wrapping around his hand,

it's like pulling it tot, and like Bobby could like, but he would do it in that manly, Boston, you know, Winfrup, Massachusetts, kind of like, you know, I live by the sea, I'm fucking, you know what I mean? I have to like lean in between like this. Yeah, I saw him the sea. I'm fucking, you know what I mean? I have to lean in between like this. Yeah, I saw him do that in front of 1500 people in Vegas

at Beatrice Madhouse. Yeah, oh boy. After fucking Paris Hilton got up on stage and I was like, ah, and she was saying something and they're like, and they didn't want any comedy. And Bobby Kelly got up there in front of 1500 people who did not want to see it.

And all they were just like, fuck, they did. No, they needed it. Dude, it makes it look like it's nothing fuck. They did. No, they needed. Dude. It makes it look like it's nothing. Oh my god. He has a special, finally.

Bobby Kelly special. Yeah, he has a new CK. CK, it's on the, I think CK directed it. It did, actually, that's awesome. Bobby Kelly. Bobby Kelly, he talked on, but chose Bobby Kelly said, people don't realize the match line that Louis CK is

because Louis gave, you know, his, whatever, Grammy award winning staff or Academy Award-winning staff. Yeah, they're like they're gonna produce it for you. He's like I just thought you'd hire like a regular production company He hired his staff so who win all these awards right and then I guess Louis came in he did this with Rogan too Louis came in and was looking at the setup because he was like Bobby need to do this in a club comes in I was like we need to move this move and Bobby's like no, it's to go is it it's not he moved this added 45 seats here change angles here and Bobby's like dude Bobby killer didn't with Rogan's new club Roman took him and lose like

oh yeah do this that's great this is savage well we all came up you know Louis those guys Rogan Marin they were kind of ahead and they were leaving Boston and we were just you know what it is you had to be a Wrang. You had to keep that crowd because oftentimes it was – Aggressive. – Combat Zone downtown. Wasn't the theater district we know now. It was rough, man. Rough on the tips and prostitutes hanging outside.

– And just working class. – That's a good stuff. – Boston, people don't realize how aggressive Boston is. – Yeah. – Boston is a place where if you go to a bar, it's so easy to this day to get an old fight. It's so, but back then, back fucking then, I, it was, I'm telling you, I say this all the time, correct me if I'm wrong, you would go to a bar to not see a fight, at least one fight a night was it.

We're off night. It truly, I'm not joking. That sounds like it. Well, sounds changed a little bit. It was, it was a fight. Yes, cameras and, and lawsuits back then. Yeah, it was a money. Back then, the bouncers were no fucking jokes.

I'll tell you what it was. It was a fight that then would, you know, it'd be like, hey, makers in the packed bar. And then what you would see is that person would get yanked, they'd get roughed and then thrown, and then you'd look out the window, and you'd just see a dude with some blood Spitting for the next 15 minutes pacing waiting for his friends to probably finish their drinks or whatever

He just got his fucking ass handed to him and you just watch him out the window as he was like surly and spitting blood Yalling at the building. Yeah, that was it man. There was no yeah no lawsuits no cameras And you're in your class of comments is who who you come up? Yeah, it was Burr Patrice And your class of comics is who, who'd you come up with? Yeah, it was Burr, Patrice, Goldman came like a year after, Bobby Kelly, and then like, there was a bunch of like, Bob Marley's and like, just killers, just the comics that like came, again,

the ability to leave your action, Brewer. Jim was, I don't know if he hopped a lot from New York, but once I went to New York, it was like, all right, now I'm in the pits with, you know, a towel and Brewer and a young Chappelle. Yeah, it was like, all right, now I'm in the pits with, you know, a towel and brewer and a young Chappelle and yeah, it was like, oh Boston's gonna launch me in New York and then that'll be relatively easy, you know, because now I'm used to these rough and tumble Crouds and then you get to New York and they were like, they'd already cut off the fat and they were even better. So you couldn't bring any, you know, Craig Joraldo, remember? It was just, remember those guys? Oh my God. Just monstrous man. We all came up like knowing that.

Really? How big would Patrice O'Neil be today if he had a podcast? I think I'm gonna take it to you with Seldo. Because he was like one of the original like outliers who just didn't take, he was also, he was close all the doors on. He also thought so differently.

That's what I'm saying. Like with his brain and he could do a, and he could be a Tim Dylan or Joey Diaz and just right brain with the camera. Yeah. You know what I'm talking to you guys like I would sell today? With his stand up. And his culture?

He was like in that Chappelle thing where it's like, he was just a transmitting on a different level. We all knew at the very beginning, like watching Patrice was like, damn. How long will it take me to be able to, he just, he abandoned the act, you'd see him, and then he'd just be in real time talking something out. You know what's really on my mind?

And then he'd go into this thing that was even funnier. So we definitely came up with a squad of dudes for the most part that we were just constantly. There was a lot of ball-busting, but there was still a lot of like champion each other because we all wanted to get out of there. We all wanted to. What about even when, because all you guys basically made it in one way or another,

I was in a way made like you did, but even after, I mean, I mean, Ber, definitely like, Ber now. Yeah, Ber Ber was the lightest. Louis hanging out. What's that? What do you guys, was Louis hanging out? Louis had already gone.

Louis was already in his writing career next. Rogan skipped and then was like, news radio and stuff like. I'm really missing L.A. Yeah. But then once you guys made it, did you guys stay tight or no? I mean, for a lot of comics.

For a lot of years, it was like still bringing each other on the road here and there. And like when I made it, and then I finally had Vicious Circle, you know, I had Bobby and Gary on tourgasm because I wanted to share in real time that spotlight and what was happening to me. I was basically saying to those guys,

like, come on in, I'm rocking, but pull your fans from here because we're all kind of similar. It wasn't like, you know. Same brand. I just all had that like a certain affinity in a certain way that I think my crowds appreciated those guys and it was a great turning point. Sharing that moment with my buds was really, really

magic, man. Gratified. Was Kevin Hart around then or he was after you guys? Kevin came later but I sat at a dinner one night with Kevin Hart and Jamie Foxx. Before he was still just a little kev in New York City and he told me he's like, man, I watch your my space, and I'm doing the same thing with my audience,

and he kind of told me like what he, you know, he really had kind of studied what I was doing, and then what he was like, I'm gonna change a couple of things, tell me. And I remember at that dinner being like given Kevin's energy and enthusiasm and likeability coupled with now, he's gonna start, you know, parlaying it and with this, you know, digital realm.

I had a good feeling that he would have the success. Well, he's even exceeded it, but I was like, he's gonna break. Yeah. He's gonna have his moment. We almost couldn't understand why he hadn't already, but he figured it out. I had Jamie Foxx come up to me at this party

and talk about stand up. Okay. And he's the one guy who was like talking about how he had done a set in DC for the first time in a long time And like I'm a huge fan of his I was a little bit key. I was like, you know Three years ago maybe maybe I got three years ago. I was gonna say a year ago fucking three years ago But he he the fan of snap kind of throw it. He'd seen something I'd done. He was saying nice thing Yeah, and and I was listening to him

But I'm a big fan. Like I love his acting. I just like everything about him. He's the end of man. Yeah, and I said, yeah, I said, I don't know, dude, I go, man, I'd love to see what you could do with an hour. I'd love to see, because back then,

I think he was doing a lot of standup, wasn't he? I mean, or no. He was also doing like, was that around like, any given Sunday, it was almost like he was doing that He was doing TV like I could tell I'll tell you story about that movie too Because I could tell that he's so badly wanted to stand up like all I got what got from was like he was like He likes doing movies, but movies are boring I'll give a fuck when everybody says and there was like this longing and he was talking about how you did a he did 10 minutes in

DC and how it went really well Yeah, I was like yeah, and I yeah, when you take years off, I don't give a fuck who you are You got to go back in the ring. Yeah, he's a special He's a monkey. The worst thing that can happen is the years off and then your name gets a bigger ovation than what you're ready to look To that's the problem You're in this like prison where you can't, you're, you're, you're, you must have felt that though, like after what special is this?

I've always been great. I gotta tell you, man, I've never, I've never worried, man. I've never loved myself down. You guys, we are the champions where it's, but you've never taken time off, however, you remember a long time ago, you were at the top of everything and I go,

what are you gonna do this summer or something and are you doing touring and you go, I'm thinking about putting the microwave forever. And I was like, what? And you go, where do I go from stadiums? Like, what do I do here? I really, yeah, I remember that. It was quite tough.

Yeah, that was like, I think that was before I gave myself permission to go, no, I love it. I love it at a small club. I love it on my front porch. I love it on my front porch. I love it on any stage. And I realized after that era, like, oh, I don't have to prove this again. Yeah, you did it.

I did it. Now what I have to do is I have to figure out, where do I want to take my audience? Now I'm growing up, like, right now, I've got this, it's wild. Like, I've got my generation of comedy fans that I came up with. Their kids start seeing like employ the month,

Dan and real life, or maybe it's planes. Now, my fans college age are bringing their kids, they're see me, they don't know I'm a stand up. They know I'm zashed from, and they don't know, I'm there to fucking like exceed my own expectations every night. So then these new fans are like, man, I didn't know it was gonna be like that. That was just gonna be you, the guy from the movie

with a couple of quips. And it's like, no, man, this is what I do. This is my brand on the butter. My fans for me get me so geek, because I'm like, they're young people that they're actually listening. That makes me feel really good. Yeah, I'm not dying.

Yeah, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like I'm not dying. I feel like regardless of age, the one good thing about this, the, the, these things happening in real time through these apps, it is diminishing time and of a time because if they see a piece of content, you go through that like,

you'll see something from like the 1950s, you'll see something a lot of 80s stuff, like, and the fact that it's all swirling around together, I think the next generation has more of appreciation for just real funny shit or real shit, regardless of how old you are, where you're from, and that's great, that's great for everybody. You don't feel like you have an exploration date

on your career anymore. I take a little break. I take a little break from that with Dane Cook. The legend buddy. Yes. The legend, Dane Cook. Yeah. Not a legend, but your boy's working. I'm in Salt Lake City this Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

We're not being a legend. Why is guys? Yes. One of my favorite clubs. Make the key. Shout out to Keith. One of my favorite clubs. Salt Lake City is this freaking weekend Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

We have a fight companion on thickboy. Thickboy YouTube for UFC 280, me and Frank Mayer. Okay. You said Canada? What do you think? Why is he going north into Canada? All right, Brian, I'll do it for you. I'm curious.

I'm curious. I'm curious. I'm curious. All right, you know, it's tough. But you don't do something like, don't do like Winnipeg or somewhere like this. How about Calgary? Does that work?

Calgary is a place. Next Thursday, Calgary, the rooftop downtown Calgary because that bad boys almost sold out. We had a show on Friday at the rooftop. That's next Thursday, Friday, October 27th, 28th, Calgary, Canada, baby. What's the matter with your question? Yes.

Don't neglect the US and don't neglect a state that's as American as Apple pop. You talking about Texas. I'm talking about Texas. All right, how about if I did San Antonio and Houston back to back weeks? What? November 3rd San Antonio through the fifth, Houston, November 10th through the 12th. That's crazy.

Talk to you. If you tell me you're going to do Milwaukee, Wisconsin, my dad's hometown, November 18, I'm so well-siss hometown. I'm going to flip the lock out. Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer's hometown. He's popping right now. You better not do that.

And be if you tell me you're gonna go to the Comedy Zone in Charlotte, I'm gonna freak out. Before that, you're gonna be in Chicago improv. Not Chicago though. I gotta go to London and then I'm gonna go after I go to London, Brennan, I'm gonna go to the Chicago improv October 27, 28, 29. Then I got Charlotte, North Carolina Comedy Zone,

November 10, 11, 12. Then Addison, Texas, Addison, Improved November 17, 18, 19. Then 1112, then Addison, Texas, Addison, Imp, problem, remember 17, 18, 19. Then Naples, Florida, off, though, December 1 through 4. Now, here's the thing, I need to stay calm when I'm traveling. I don't like inflammation.

I'm off the road, that's the thing. I just wish there was some kind of a tincture, some kind of an oil-like attack that I could absorb. I need something that has smart, sorb technology, that's all, because I want to absorb not 2% 10%, but 90% of what I actually get. You need some CBD, but just not any CBD.

You need next EVO. We're talking about great CBD. Next even revive CBD complex. I use the sleep CBD. I knock your boy out. On the road, you have your drillins going heart racing. I take two of those pills, three of them feeling. Yeah, I needed to absorb in like as little as 10 minutes.

That's what I'm saying. Well, we got you covered, man. Give it to them. I've got me some capsules. Yeah, whatever you want, dude. And listen, you're talking about 90% of what you think is actually in waisted. Not with 90% of what you think you're getting.

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So after doing handling all yourself, doing the special yourself, you're always going to do this way or if Netflix came back next year, it was like, hey, dude, we saw the numbers. Yeah, it's kind of one of those things where you go, if somebody backs up a brings truck, of course, you're going to be like, hmm, let me consider that because the big kick from something like that, and I don't know if it's still as prevalent like this year as maybe a few years ago, it's like tickets on tour, people being able to get access to your stuff instantly and going like, I wanna come see you.

In terms of just, I wanna own my stuff. I wanna own my IP and I wanna be able to like, someday give my catalog to my family. You know what I mean? So, and I have been fighting early stuff in my career to this day of just ownership over things that I made, like literally designed and made myself, and I don't want to go through that legal battle for the rest of my life.

So, if there's a middle ground where somebody sees above it all and says, because I shot two at once. I shot part one and part two over Friday and Saturday night. So, I'm editing part two now. Gotcha. So, now with the success of the first one, if somebody were to look at like, you know, my account balance and what I've recouped

and where I'm going from it, like, good business would be to say, with the look. Yeah, we'll take it, but let's also not put like a eight year window and you have to wait until you're three to get your money. That's nuts.

You did that in your front porch. You have a part one, too? Yes, I'm editing two now. What was an hour and hour or what? First one's an hour, second one will probably be like an hour and 20. I had to cut out like all this. I had like great crowd work.

The crowd did the only way to come into my house. But then you did a lot of Congress. No, no, I did a whole new set. I did two crossover bits that I wanted to cover twice. But I watched Friday after Friday, I was like, I got it. I don't need to fucking edit. I don't need to do it. Another angle, like I got it.

So then I ran two hours on Saturday night that was all the other stuff that I wanted to accomplish and now we're cutting the second part. How are you gonna release all that then? Well, two specials. So, and I have specials. So right now part one will be like after a moment, then next week it reverts to,

I'm meeting with distribution people now. So I might go with like a 10 finger distribution that means you put it in 10 places instead of one. Why keep it on one spot? When I'm gonna be able to, you know, possibly exploit many different revenue streams. Now you gotta shed little clips too, that you can just...

Clips, all that stuff, you know, that all leads to monetization. But then it's like, okay, now I have part one, part two, queued up to either follow suit on that, whether I keep it on dinkook.com or, you know, meeting with Roku, 300 million televisions have Roku or like there's great other resources that also want you to be like a partner in it

and will give you back your- Yeah, I was gonna say, I want my content back. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Okay, because we've all seen what happens when you don't get it back. Years later, you start going, now I'm only getting a fraction, but that shit's everywhere.

Who's recouping on that? Cause I'm not. I'm not, somebody. Yeah, well, and I know who some of those somebody's are, but the reality is, I wanna own my content. I just wanna be able to like, and it's a valuable way to do it

if you're as I guisting and can get yourself out there like I can to go, I'll read Coup, and now everything else is, you know, like money while you sleep, money. And I didn't have to edit anything out. This is the fucking show. People are seeing this show. And first of all, when you make any comedy show,

it's gotta be very funny, right? Yeah. Just wanted to be very funny. But I wanted it to be introspective. I wanna talk about some of the things in my life that were like scary. Things that have happened to me that are like, that are, that are You know

Having covered me. It's certain in certain points in my life Just an example Well, I tell a whole story about a stalker that I dealt with who was trying to find me and was like I'm going to kill you I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna most incredible years of videos Years of her finding my house years with the LAPD working on this case, coming out of my house like on a pivot every day. My girlfriend being friends. Tell us about how.

Can you say it? What's that? Yeah. No, I tell her. She fucking she came to my house and shaved her eyebrow. I tell the whole story in the routine, but she shaved her eyebrows and sent me the video standing on my porch of her just doing all the healthy. She actually works with me now. She's on my manager. She's my manager with my

brother who now where they work in stand-in-the-whole circle. It's such a funny man, but it's also like horrifying. Where the LAPD, that cop was like, are you gonna let's say that part? It's like, yeah, no. I don't know if you told us to me or I'll tell you. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. I don't know if you told us to me or talk to, okay. Yeah, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I don't know how much you told me and how much something special. I haven't seen that. It's like, some of the stuff is,

I guess, some stuff. When you watch her feet. Being, yeah, it's all in there. It's being able to like, nobody's gonna tell you to cut your shit, nobody's gonna tell you, you should or shouldn't have this bit. You release it the way you wanna release it, and then you get to, for me, show a whole different, I invited people into my home because this is the most personal

material, but it's also got the LPMs, the last per minute, if you know comedy jargon as we all do. Then it's like that perfect blend of like, if I brought this to somebody else, they might have said, can you change this or maybe do this with the opening or like, I don't want you to do this. You get me the stalker, right? Got it. Right or something that I might have said that was too cost-diction or...

You said that the fans didn't know that they're going to your house? No. So how'd you, with the word out? There's a company you can hire out here called One Iota and they will put together crowds for whatever venue. And so I hired them and I said,

can you shuttle people from this parking lot that I'll rent? Don't tell them they're coming to my home and don't tell them it's for a special. Just say it's a secret dang cook show. So they got real die hard fans who didn't know they were gonna be on my front lawn. Yeah, 30 minutes later. Thea was awesome.

It was amazing. Were they allowed to go in the house? I didn't lay anybody in the house. And you know what, I let one guy in the house who came up to me and he said, he said, can I get a picture with your refrigerator? I'm a big fan of your fridge. I've seen you post about it

because I have this bending machine. Hey, that's your next stop. Don't look me like, nope. That's the next stop. That's what you want. He's all day, weird request. What if I can just take a shot? There's a dude who's gonna shit in your bathroom.

As he puts a time camera, things like that. I'll give you the code to the front door. Just horrible with stockers. It was wild, though, man. It was unlike anything I've done in, camera things like I'll give you the code to the front door Just horrible with stockers. It was wild though, man. It was unlike anything I've done in honestly in my career There's two things that I wanted to do accomplish and I got to do two of once which is I wanted to film something on my on the porch of that house For a lot of reasons. I wanted to bring people closer to me than they had been before with the comedy, but with something else that it was meaningful to me. And I wanted to premiere it at the TCL Chinese theater,

which was always a goal. You did it in my hair for it, fucking good. Which I was out of town, I was in there. They did it in my hair for it. It was so fun. But again, you know, a man theater, you want to do it in himself, but then nobody's done it in the premiere. It's the other thing you said of a bitch.

And I'm sitting in the- Don't do it in the themselves, no one's done it in the premiere. I'm sitting there and then I was like, you know what? Let's add a third and then I masturbated to myself He's in the back to myself. Yeah, yeah, instead of a insane, you know how I laughed I laughed like this That's called back. He's not even fucking I hit him with the gold back and damn it Wait a ruin everything

God damn it. That's incredible. Yeah, that's pretty sweet man. That is awesome Now what's next? What's next? Dang? Are you gonna do stand up? Do you think it'll be doing stand up at 80? Everything about the shit. I think so. Yeah, I love how long did Carlin do it? I love it I thought he was I really died. I love it. I love it. I'm Richard Prior. That's a wheel him up. Yeah. You never wheeled too. I sold it.

I sold it. I fucking, George Burns. George Burns died at 100 and I think he just kept going. I love stand up. I'll always do stand up. I feel like I've accomplished everything I've wanted to do now in stand up. So it's going to be cool to go back to like square one and kind of figure out like, what do I want to share next? Like, what do I, what do I do? Because

I really, I really just like put it all into this. It's four years like, right? Yeah, no, probably could be something like that. But then it's behind the camera. I've wrote a series that my side company, Duffleback Entertainment, Moni Babat is my business. Duffleback. Yeah, Duffleback. Great story behind that. my business. Dufflebag. Yeah, Dufflebag. Great story behind that, but not for another day, but I'll tell you a wild story while we're Dufflebag. But, and we're developing a series that I'm hoping to also, I want to direct more.

I directed a short film, we made it all the way to Oscar qualification. We made it from the submissions to the final 140 short films where they hit us up and they were like, man, you made it to the literal last, second to last. And I directed and co-wrote that. So probably more of that. So you wanna be behind the camera instead of love it.

Say action. Love it. Action. Jesus, dude, you're a voice. Right. You're really dominant. You kinda could feel like I was already believing in you I want to act I was in cert then let's let's why don't we act right now? Here's the scene. Okay, you're a guy sitting in her chair

Yeah, you're dealing with something in his throat. Yeah, yeah, I'll show that. I'll show you clear off Yeah, I got something for you ready. This is gonna be a real challenging performance. Okay. This is what this is what's gonna happen This gentleman your character is going to be witchcraft number one. You're just going to look at him. You're sitting back in the chair. You've never had use of your hands. They've never moved. You've never been able to feel them, move them, nothing. And then whatever you're going to say, you can improvise a line, put the magic juju over there, and then your hands for the very first time. You're going to have feeling in them, and then your hands for the very first time you're gonna have feeling in them and then you could take it wherever you want to go.

And action. If you buy this potion your hands will work. I don't believe in magic that's so stupid. What? What? What? What? What are you smelling? It's a hundred fifty thousand dollars. What? What? What? What? What?

What are you smelling? It's $150,000 a day to keep doing this. It's as small as you think. And cut. Let's check gates. That was great. Where it looks. You want more?

I can give you more. That's perfect. I can give you more. Whatever you want. I like that you went into smelling. That's a natural thing that you'd probably do though. You do that, you would. Yeah, and then I never felt my hands on my face. Yeah. I certainly hadn't felt them on my piece.

Exactly. On my piece, I called it my piece too. And then I was gonna go, I was gonna go. A sparrow, and then you think I'm gonna release it, and I go. Because I use my hands, I'm gonna kill me though. You kill me, you kill me, you kill me. You're right, then two fighters walk kicks in with the acoustic version. And your neck is thick, and I'm like, your neck is crazy.

It's a commercial for iron neck. I'm like, you have a skinny neck? Yeah. So now I go, that's, that's. I can't wait to see this. You're gonna animate this whole part right? Is this where it goes into an animated town? Somebody's got that.

Somebody's getting a dead out. Yeah. Good. That was very good direction. Really? There's some current events too. Yeah, sure. Current events.

The director would give me an adjustment. That's, usually you have to know notes. No notes, adjustment, but I will note. No notes. I'm gonna do it so long. Okay. Yeah, that I know notes. I know it can I be very honest with you Yeah, I already knew coming in I wasn't even gonna use the scene, but I figure we're all set out We had lights and so it's like top I'm doing the joke or third day. I'm third day Cinemore career bar and speaking a great comics and come over guys

And I'm just sitting there watching how the scene shot. I've been doing this so long and I'm like, I'm not gonna be in this movie. You say it's all about that. I go, I go, hey, come here, I'm, you know, cause I'm good friends and I go, come over here, he goes, what's up? I go, I'm not in this movie yet, I think I was, he goes, I hate listening.

I don't know, I'm sorry, probably not. It was so great. I did a scene with Matt Damon, a great career in Stuck on You. And I was a cop and I pulled them over and I heard Matt Damon say, as I was walking past him to lunch, something like, well, we're gonna cut it anyway. And I knew I wasn't gonna be in the movie

and I wasn't in the movie. I'm gonna cut it anyway. You know, Adrian Brody was in thin red line and he was in every steepest huge part. He brought his entire fan. What? His entire man out of the whole movie? Literally. There's a great story about he cut his whole family and they're all there and and he was just like, he was like, oh no. And he ended up not in the movie. There was a time. So Frank Rillo, when he was in my narrative report and I remember, we were,

God, we were so young and I go, imagine being in like a Tom Cruise movie or something and he goes, I am. And I go, or any of us do, it's crazy. And he's gotten the role. I was like, what? And he goes, it's different. Back then when you got a movie like that,

it was different. Oh yeah. It's different. The word of mouth instantly. Forget about. It was different. Oh yeah. It's different. The word of mouth instantly. You forget about the success of not a movie, you're in it. You made it. Yeah, you're in it. You're in a movie with Steven Spielberg and fucking Tom.

Right. And a big part. Big part. Dude, you cut the trade piece out. You stick it on your magnet on your brin girls over. If you don't have a film career, you're definitely getting a TV show. Right. So I was just like, bro, this not you know, I have a film career. You're definitely getting a TV show right so I was just like bro

This is fucking incredible. I couldn't believe it. It was just like and plus it was there's some really good friend of mine that I Makes you closer to it, you know, I'm just like wow so I go Now they don't back then they didn't tell you anything. I went to the movie. Yeah to see my my boy Does he say what he's supposed to be doing in the middle? Like what are you waiting for to see? He played the cop or something. He played the cop. I'm chasing. But he's a cop chasing Tom Cruise.

Okay, awesome. But he's front and center and there's a whole plot line and everything else. I swear to God. I didn't go to the premiere. I went to after and I swear to God. This was my dear friend. You see him go like this. You see the bag was head

And then you see him go like this. That's it. And he goes he goes Not even alive he goes And I said to him I go what happened? He goes I saw like the first 15 minutes and I went oh I saw the first 15 minutes and I went, oh no. It's got nothing to do. Nothing to do. And he had his family, it was just like that, that was it. You're mid-tomkers? Yes, I have twice.

I did a reading with him. Yeah. What's the reading for? I love Tom Cruise stories. So it was Todd Phillips. I'm doing, I'm about to Virginia Tech, I'm on this tour stand up wise. And he goes, are you in LA? And I go no, it's a fuck I had the sickest thing for you like what?

He goes I was gonna have you do a read all of own Wilson's parts across some Tom Cruise in this reading It was only you Eric Stoltz Amy's Amy smart and that's it and and like at his offices. Oh my god I was like I go when is it? He goes it's small forget it. I go, not forget it. Yeah. I'm not doing stand-up. I was like, I'm not, I was headlining, and I go, I can't do it. Right, right. I go, I'll be on a plane. I find a way to get on the fucking plane. I get on there the next day. I go to Tom Cruz's office. I'm, I've been reading it on the plane the whole

time. All my scenes are with Tom Cruise. And we're right here. Did your heart racing the whole time? Well, no, I just kept looking at him. I had to stop staring at him because he was a piece of history. Right. Of my history. He's magic, unicorn.

And all the posters were behind him. So I kept looking at him. Is the movie posters? Yeah, and his face is like. Oh, that's wild. Yes, and he has a small face. But I'm looking at it all the way. That small place or face.

OK, so all the fuck. This is huge, this is small. Who is first supposed to have big heads? He didn't. And I'm like, and I'm looking at all, and I swear to God, he had, he goes, I'm so sorry, guys. I'm so sorry. And he had, what did he have for lunch?

He came in a little bit late, really apologized. Yeah. He had six pieces of yellow tail from Masu Hitsa street. Okay. With a tiny little jalapeno on each Yeah, and a glass a bottle of Penta water, which is that that pH-balanced water That's what he had at least a whole seems that's lunch. You do a Scientology. No, not at all then then we so then You just bring his make a verb now now we do the reading and then he wants to hear from every one of us About what we think of the move. Oh, wow.

So now, and dude, when I tell you that when I'm talking, he's listening to you like this. Yes. Like he's, and then he's, and he's so invested, he goes, hold on, hold on. Are you saying? He's into it. And again, he's going, wow, that's a good, and it didn't matter to the idea. I don't know if my ideas were good. I don't know if anybody's ideas were good,

but he was so invested. So then we're done in the business like this. Like this at the health? I may as well been. No, I'm at his office. Then after that, I get this from him. You're very talented, you're very talented. He looks at me like this and I'm like, thank you.

I had two pit bulls in Venice. I don't know how I found it. I had a picnic table in my backyard. My pit bulls were there, two pit bulls. There was a giant fucking fruit basket. My girl calls me and goes, you have a fruit basket, a gift basket from Tom Cruise. The biggest thing I've ever seen, cheese, fruit.

Thank you for your talent and time, Tom. Pulsed yours of him. Yes, from the wall. I still have to know by ten. I still have to know. Thank you for your talent and time. Six months later, I'm in an Oscars party. It's like Madonna, fucking David Blaine,

but Puffy, everybody, nobody, no, no, no, no, no. And Tom Kruz, and I'm now in a group talking, and I look at him and I go, I don't know if you remember me, I did that reading for the men that the fuck is in the room. If you get me, he goes like this, he goes, he goes. It looks at me, and he just goes, yeah, how, how you doing he doesn't remember and then as we're talking

He goes like this he remembers yeah, and I swear to God. I have a witness to this he goes You were great in that reading I Remember that was the one you were great in that reading and I said thank you and he goes you are great Katie Holmes is right here. She looks like she's so over the whole situation. And I'll do respect. But she'll, she's used to this. She looks so much. He does say everybody makes everybody

great in your parade. Oh, I agree. And he goes, you were, and he kept doing this. This is my impression. He goes, you were great in that reading. And he goes, his timing, his timing. I said, thank you 13 times. My friend said, he goes, how many times?

I say, how many times? I said, thank you. He's 13 times. I said 13 times. Because he my friend said, you go, how many times? I say how many times I say thank you? He's 13 times. I said 13 times because he kept saying, and then we spoke, can I, just can I, for an hour and a half about our kids and about life? And about life? We hate a second that. So we're both wrestlers.

We're rare, we're both high school wrestlers. Okay. I went to Dan Gabel's camp, he couldn't afford it, he went to Dan Gabel's. He went to the outsiders. That's right. So we spoke about that, spoke about wrestling, we spoke about everything about that.

Jesus Christ, this is a long-term cruise. And I remember going, I know, but I remember going, fuck. Jesus Christ. It just all started with him going, you don't have Tom Cruise. Oh, no. But that was my Tom Cruise.

That was my Tom Cruise experience. He's like, what I was, did you say, Tom Cruise? Change it rate for 45 minute monologues on Tom Cruise. 45 minutes on Tom Cruise. But I thought I was like, maybe we'll be friends after this. You never heard from him. He didn't convert. He got to know an SUV.

He didn't convert. I was gonna tell my Tom Cruise story, but there's so much Tom Cruise from this. I was gonna try to go on. I'll be back. You know, I feel like we're gonna do very well with this. Because you work with your own sight. No, there's no, I sell it like it's better,

but the reality is that's probably the better. But what's our real half? And here's a segue. Dang, what was your Tom Cruise? Did he, did he wanna know about that? He was in front of me, a jack in the box. And I beeped, I said, I don't fucking care if your Tom Cruise or not, get the fuck going.

That's paid for your order. Then he pay and he goes, the guy being out. And he goes, you were great. You were great. Did he talk to you about stand up though? He didn't know, no, he didn't talk to me. But it was just that moment of like, you felt like you were in his world for a second.

I'll show you what, my story is very quick, right? Somebody say you want it very quick, right? You can time this like 20 seconds tops. And what I like, he reiterates, and what I like is you got my story is very quick, right? Somebody say you want it very quick, right? You can time this like 20 seconds tops. And what I like, he reiterates, and what I like is you got that part of him. He reiterates. And this was it.

He was talking to somebody else, and this person, mutual friend said, Tom, have you ever met Dan Cook? This is Dan Cook, and I'm gonna come to you. Ready, you can stay seated. He goes like this, ready, put your hand out. He goes, he goes, very pleased. Very pleased to meet you.

Very, very pleased. There pleased to meet you. Very, very pleased. Does anyway, excuse me. And with that, it was you go, because he stayed there. Oh, wow. So he's, excuse me. Oh, ma'am. Was some kind of, now you get out's the king. I have a good day. Well, you, you, part of your fame was having a manager. I can still feel his hands. Yes. Well, he has to, he has to manage his, his essence.

My hands a lot like it. I admit that. That was a great day, I checked by the way. I say it. I'm not even, I don't even have, you don't have to push me on it. Yeah. Well, I, I played Dane Cook and that, and that,

and that, and that, and that. Dane, you were tap crews, remember? I played Dane Cook. So I was a little bit like, I was like, confident, but I get it. But you grabbed me like you were a person who just got their hands back. Hands, hands, hands, experience.

Oh, circle. Oh, circle. Clip it. Clip it. Brian, you have it. Morgan Freeman. Oh. Oh, wow.

Now do you say that? Do you say Morgan Freeman? Oh my god, I was at this bus. Well, day two were Marie calendars. Tom drives. Really, really interesting side story. Marie Caldwell's. We're both hanging.

Morgan Freeman played paddle ball. And I played paddle ball, right? Hey, you're having an allergic reaction. I did touch nine cats before I shook your hand. Gotcha. Balloons, balloons and comfortably numb place. Top with hands, mouth, just die. Two balloons. To wrap it up on Tom Cruise, he's like the last superstar. There's not really no 100% him into Caprio or kind of like I feel like they're both superstar Hollywood fsb and like both that top there if they did a movie together It just be like are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah, and the thing about Tom Cruise career no movies bigger than the last top down

Mostly to the movie of all time. Yeah, and it was fucking awesome It was amazing. Yeah, American ego in my back tattoo after that My brother stood up and fucking clapped at that Yeah, and my buddy goes like this because they lost me I go when I'll fuck off and he goes in the beginning He's doing mock-tan when you eject you you would disappear I know dude. I know that but I know who cares But he's I was I was doing that I was doing that man cry during the scene with Kilmer Where I was just like trying to pretend I'm still watching the movie and wiping like this? Nope. Yeah, right. I'm still I'm not fucking it's not a river coming out of my

right now. What makes you cry? Hmm. I'm pretty sensitive man. A lot of things get me. I feel like you'd have pretty thick skin. No, man. Let me ask you. No, no, no. You get older. Do you cry work? Because as I get older, I'm more of a pussy. I'm left. I left. I wept at the other day listening to I brought up it's funny the way our brains work I pulled of a food fighters reference for our last little improv which was probably I mean award winning if you guys are Up for consideration. I think I think I pulled it. Yeah, that made me cry walk walk I'm gonna say that again because there was kind of some sneezing or some kind of a fever happening Let me say it again just oh one second I was listening to food fighters and and that brought me to an emotional place.

So I'm like, I just, I'm just, just because of the memory or what? It's just the words, something in the lyrics of that song was just like, it hit me in the right place. Ooh, yeah, I'm not that song. Oh, there we go. If we play it, we just have to edit it out. If we play it, no, we play it, I'm gonna probably,

well, this version rocks, but like whatever they did for the unplugged version was really, really emotional. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I mean, imagine, like, imagine this is the song that you listen to, there's already keep going, there's a line in it,

and I'll tell you why it fucking speaks to me, you motherfuckers keep going, keep going, it's a long song. Scroll, goddamn it! That's it! Scroll, okay. Going into watch again? Yeah yeah ready ready it's it's the ready um oh no go back up again I never want to die I'm gonna keep going ready ready look at this line ready he goes um uh pay no see if to keep alive a moment at a time that's still inside a whisper to a riot the sacrifice the knowing to survive the first decline another state of mind. That's like that, that goosebumps right there.

Yeah, man. Cause like, that's not gonna hit that moment where you think you're fucking cruising and you might plummet. 100% And for him to put that in a song knowing like, man, no career, nobody is gonna get out on skate.

No one. In cruel, no's it. No one. That first decline, another state of mind. I feel like the whole fight is wrong. I feel like the whole fight is wrong. The decline though. Wow. No, they've had moments up. No! No! No one! That first decline, another state of mind. I feel like the whole fight is strong. The whole fight is strong. The decline, though.

Wow. No, they've had moments of... I feel like you're stronger. I literally, when I met you, you were one. I feel like you're literally a stronger than you've ever been physically. You're just a big... You went from being built like me and now you're just a big strong guy with a loud voice.

You know what it is? You're barrel check. You know what I was missing? What? I was missing that fucking the real innocence inside of me that I'd buried for so long. That little kid who was so such a wallflower and didn't have the the ability to say, hey everybody can can I be included? Can I be invited to the play? Should therapists say that? All that stuff. Therapy was the greatest. That'll make me cry. That'll make me cry. There was those talk to eight-year-old Brendan.

No, my therapist one day said, what are your boundaries? And that's that moment, I said. What are your boundaries? I said, I don't, what do you mean like in the bedroom? You're not allowed. Yeah. Oh.

Because it gets pretty loose, girl. Oh, everybody. Oh, there's a fucking truth quick happening. Yeah. We're gonna touch your moments Boundaries man that was like a big big that that was a game changer for me like oh no, you know what happened. I was such a I was such a Can I my own thoughts?

I How about that feeling? I think it's held in. Because we're not that, it's time for you to story out, because we're seven hours, so I'm just trying to. Break his arm. Jesus, you're fucking way stronger than I thought. Shit. No, it's just like, I comedy, you know,

changed my life and suddenly turned me into that I had a spectacle moment, but I still was kind of running away from the idea of like, I was this introvert kid with a lot of social anxiety, and I was not the class class, I was not cool, and then I was suddenly cool in the center of everything, which was fine when I was on stage, but I still didn't know how to really manage all that in real life, and nobody could help me because I was the first

to even make it to be successful. So I wasn't even like, burr was ahead of me to go, dude, I'm gonna walk you in, I got it. So there was a lot of time where I was like, I let everybody in because I thought, like, that's love now. Everybody likes me because they know me. And so everybody got access.

And then after several years, I realized, man, I'm the loneliest and saddest I've been because I didn't know the boundaries to like keep certain people at distance and really mindfulness and I didn't have any of that shit. So last 10 years of my life, I've been the happiest and the healthiest because I finally have all my priorities in order.

And that's why you bully people like me, where you just pick me up and turn me upside down. So I wish somebody had that on film. Did you guys get that? You doing your job? I mean, I'm a big tether. I wish that somebody had that on film. Did you guys get that? You doing your job? I mean, I got bird bones. I feel like I had bird bones. Look at the fucking look at the split That's happening right here in real time. Oh God. How are those jeans even staying tethered in the middle? Just fucking rips apart with that fucking mane, you know, he's got he's got just like one of those green screen outfits only on his cock and balls in case It gets revealed and you have to quickly hide it as a cucumber emoji

What are we got? Current events. So this is a a quick thing that this is an app called podcast. I'm gonna actually let you guys do this I'm gonna actually let you guys do this. I'm gonna bolt. I'm not really interested in this part. It's a damn empty. Where did you walk? Go there. Damn it.

Let's take it off. It's all this is why I leave. I thought it was really. It would have been better if you just disappeared and threw this stealing. You had that kind of money. Just how the fuck did you rig them stuff up? No, what if he's all is it?

Brian, you say that and what do I do? What's my instinct? Can I and let me keep that in the fun layaway? You guys all is like, all right, if I jumped to here and grabbed onto it, maybe I could... You looked up, you were like, I always... I always have to fight.

You know, it's, it's, we use everything. That's what I love about Hollywood. If it was a crew member on a film set, they'd go, give me about 15 minutes. I'm gonna pull it all out. Yeah. All right, you got those and action. Action, read. Action.

So you're not on action. First action is background. You're on the second action. Action, background, action. So this is a podcast app. I don't know, it says podcast out AIs and it's an AI app. And apparently they took Joe Rogan's voice and Steve Jobs voice and made them do an interview.

And it's all like created by AI So it's a here's a short sample of it. I feel like we're going down a dangerous road Free bitches welcome to another episode of the bro joke and experience the bro joke and on this episode I welcome my friend who's difficult to describe. This is not Joe. No, I don't know neither one of them It's great to be on the show your audience is just so different from your normal Apple users and that's a good thing. They're both talking like they just recuperated from a stroke rather recently. It's not polished but it's kind of crazy. You can imagine what if you did a phone call as either of those then you're going to have somebody on the line going, I Joe, I love you.

An hour of that would be a little much. So there is a longer version, but you don't want it one day. No, no, it's super long, so. Well, that's actually, what are they talking about? Are they actually talking about things of substance? No, in order to do it, they have to be stuff they've used in the past. Oh, yeah. You guys in the Renacto, so they put it all together. They put it all together. That's whatever's doing, it's fucking. They even like me, or shit. They manipulate it, see, like, bro joke. He never said bro joke and never, they put those in together. So, that's whatever's doing, it's fucking. They even like mirror shit. They manipulate it, see like bro joke,

he never said bro joke and never, they put those in together, so it's just, you can tell what's gonna happen in the future. It can be like polished and incredible. Yeah, wow. A lot of people get canceled. And what do you call it? The face recognition.

No, the face swap or the deep face. Deep face, that, that could be crazy. Well, didn't Bruce Willis just like sell his likeness and voice so that they can continue? Yeah, yeah, I still have just some likeness. Oh, didn't Bruce Willis just like sell his likeness and voice so that they can continue? Yeah, I saw him just on the likeness. Because that Tom Cruise one's huge. Oh yeah, it's not.

The guy's amazing. That guy's amazing. Yeah, he's like, he was on a minute ago. That whole thing that Cruise does and reiterating. On America, I got talent. They did that, but they did it for Elvis. So there's a guy who kind of looks like Elvis, not really. And he's playing, he can sing and dance.

But then he look at the screen and it's Elvis. Like in real time, it's nuts. Nuts, so far. That's pretty cool though. Ant's scary. Yeah, I mean, yeah. The dark side that's terrifying. No, what else you got to?

A quick video, I don't know how old this is, but this is some kids roller-blooding under a 18-wheeler. How kids? This has kids are so nice. This has to be like somewhere else. Somewhere? Yeah, not here. But look at this. Look. Okay.

This guy goes here. No, young man. Please don't do that. Yeah, don't show me something. No, no, not everyone's good? You know how it's good? I mean just doing that. My resting heart rate just jumped up to 67. I hate it. I hate it. God, these kids are nuts.

That just made my dominant testicles. Young boys. Young boys. Young boys. My right one's bigger. I had a hundred ascended until I was four. So the left one's like kind of like really adorable, but my right ball just got really tight. You can't see what's going on here. You look for the grand, you hit a fucking tire.

Oh, who knows? I'm gonna say terrible. Yeah, that's where you go. You'll find those videos on LiveLeak. Yeah, but then that's like the, when things, when bad things happen, right? They show up. Yeah, LiveLeak is like somebody in a country

you'd never heard of, and they're like, they're just doing like head stands on, like abandoned buildings and then the concrete just breaks and there's different yells in that language about just scum to bring go! God damn it. There was a guy who's shoot didn't open and he was they were base jumping and it's in Russia and he landed in snow. The snow was so deep, he was fine. You ever seen that? And his brother is a bother. He's the bass drumming.

No, it's Ivan and Russia. His brother is saying a prayer over his brother's what he thinks is dead body. Cross out of the snow. Yeah, he fucking fell through the snow. The snow is 18 deep. They become adorable like a St. Bernard in one of those movies.

And then he shakes out like this. You've got to let the cold down there.. They become out adorable like a St. Bernard in one of those movies. And then she shakes all the you know it's the old down there. Yeah, oh it's in Russia. Oh yeah, it's in Russia and he's like you my brother. This is the not the shit in the world. There's one. Oh there's a little bit. Afraid to put audio in.

Oh so it doesn't open. Oh that's not it. This isn't it. He's going in the snow. Oh he survived the. He might have died. Now there's one more talking alive. This happened. One more going in the snow. Oh, he survived though He might have died Talking live this happened one where I didn't

No, this did not like miraculously however, that's my favorite part Yeah, he definitely unless it's happened multiple times. Wow Well, let's not yeah Click one and then you never Well, let's not yeah, yeah Yeah, I know I know I know yeah, I'm not even gonna say that I saw something once and I'm right. I won't say it Dude it was Yeah, but like real hard like where you're like how did this even get on the internet man? This is it was just crazy. It was huh? It was a beheading. Oh I And this is fun. It was just crazy. It was, huh? It was. It was a beheading. Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I, I, I would say Daniel. Yeah, and not an instant one. Oh my God. I think I've seen it. They have the Dolmives. I've seen it. We're going in that direction. Yeah, I've seen it.

I saw it. I can't, I can't. Now I'm seeing it. I can't. Because you hear the guy going, ah, ah, ah, ah. Yeah. It was just, it was like a butternight. Can we can we play any game like can we just play a game right now just I'm just like I'm laughing at Joe Liss on

that this after this quick tells Tom like there's this co-cougar video and quick let's go yeah get us out of this another well Tom was I've had to do this with some coolers after a No, what I mean guys Oh, Joel is What is this one? This is a monster this Rogan's this Rogan's Yeah, there's Joe Rogan's Instagram and he's just reposting this video of this guy with a gun and a kuger

Basically trying to attack the guy and the guy just doesn't shoot. I didn't watch the entire video. So I'll just play it for you guys I know watch I did What is it like Like a mountain line? Yeah. Why is this guy shoot up in the air? That's a good point, Tim. That's a good point, Tim. You see he's speaking English to it.

I say you run toward it. Why would you say get back? Like, he knows what the fuck you're done with. Why not? I'd be shooting at the ground right here. Yeah, my boy from the pounce. Oh. And he's still saying there. Oh, this is the whole different thing happening now.

Did he hit it? No. Put the phone down to Rogan's phone. I wish two fighters walked started playing right now. No, he knew it would go viral. This is awesome. Wow. That's Stak Katz, not afraid. He's not afraid at all.

Wow. He or she. Yeah, he's got cat's not afraid. He's not afraid at all. Wow. He or she Can't like oh right it's kind of crazy that cat is Barely fearless that loudness and everything doesn't Guys got some good lungs though Strong breaths right there a lot of That's like when you're doctors, like a few more and you're like, I don't know if I have one more stethoscope around to go with you.

I'm getting a little light head there. All right, governor, I got one more. That's it. I kind of want you to hear something so we can just move away from the breathing and into the, how do I fix myself? I'll fucking deal with that cooler over up, Chris Lee bear any day. So, fine.

You got some more here. Oh Fun so oh, yeah, would you do this? Oh, it's a hammerhead. He's putting them in tonic And all I have is those cartons that people did the the carton challenge All you know carton challenge Like, is the carton challenge? That's how you do it. Short challenge. You're the carton. Tell you lose your arm.

Tell you lose your arm. And the hell not of them do this. Like, do you guys like, do you ever watch this and just go like, this looks like a shark having fun? Like, I see that the fun in that. Like, I don't see a vicious moment there. I see, like a big dog. Like a big dog.

Yeah, like a big water dog. Yeah. The dog was fins. Right. 100 teeth. Yeah. With a mouth big enough to, I was told, you know, how bored are these fucking days? Well, it's pretty good. Sharp sharp dog with fins right? 100 teeth. Yeah, with a mouth big enough to I

told you this I go how bored are these fucking guys? Well, I killed some carnins down the just fuck with the shark. Okay, those are two sharks. Well, that's the only one that is holding. Those are tiger sharks by the way. That's a tiger shark. No, I'm not doing any of that.

Yeah, that's insane. You need to put that that's that that doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob doob do I don't know what that is. Jim Maker. What is this? This dolphin is doing this deliberately. Okay. Dan dolphins are drawn to you. Interesting dolphin story actually. Let's make a little bubbles. Oh, neat. That he's amused by this.

Oh, this is so magical. And at first I thought it was CGI. But it's not. It is pretty cool. It's not fake. Because they sure do look fake. They're on their practice and all day Yeah, that's he looked pretty fake hey you guys on the shit about dolphin. Oh he blew it out of his little blowup on the top

Bet you Tom christian do that. I don't know why he looks up and he's like yeah, it didn't how bored how bored is this dolphin This has to be like sea world some shit. Yeah, it's dolphins. Hey, it's like you know, I'm just gonna blow some fucking things Yeah, you have I'm just gonna blow some fucking things. Yeah. You have a cool dolphin story? St. Petersburg, Florida, 2004. Me and my buddy Al, we go out jet skiing. We see a pod of dolphins, because it's a pod. It's not a herd or a gaggle.

Tom Cruise comes in and they actually said, I just came from Calons. Let me tell you an hour and 45 minutes during that took place. It's the abridged. No. Weech, I'm off the jet skis to swim with the dolphins in real time.

The fucking guy who rented, he comes barreling out and he's screaming, get the fuck out of the one. And he explains to us, there's calves, there's baby dolphins. And then they'll kill you. Yes, they will. These mom, because they're, they don't am.

They're not fun. It's not sea world. We were trying to pat, we're swimming with, we're like, dude, this is so real. We're doing this on earth in the ocean. And this guy fucking screamed, obscenities and pulled us out of our dolphins. Well, well, well, well, well,

you're on their babies. Yeah. And you're just trying to swim with the fucking whole thing and trying to. I was like, a little mermaid. I don swim with the fucking whole thing. You're out of the little mermaid. I don't miss the comics. Who? It's like a fucking thing.

You don't want somebody else to use so much to that, like, you know you deserve to, but you're still like, I mean, like the amount of yelling, you know, I understood that we had to get out of the water, but like I felt really chastised by that. Was it a lot? It felt like a lot. Pretty aggressive. Yeah, that's a limit. I love football stuff. Look at football. What do we got?

Dan and Anne. Yeah, you're huge sports. We do team love it. Patriots. Love. Yeah, Patriots. Patriots. That's a flag on the play right there. That's a flag. That's on Sportsman like. That's on Sportsman like in his mockery. Let me see this again. What is happening? Two things that I don't value. What's his guess?

Rob, your owner. Your owner. Yeah. Ah, wow. I'll tell you what you think the ref is listening to. Yeah. It's all your business. Yeah.

Yeah, meanwhile, he's a panther. Yeah. There you go. Well, what about Kobe coming to him? Yeah, yeah, meanwhile he's a panther. Yeah Hey, go What about Kobe coming to come? Scoop and you mainly watch football thing Yeah, yeah, I watch everything but I like football the most Let's see this. What's this now? Marcus so Jason's yeah, how What's this now? Marcus. So Jason's. Yeah. How do you say it?

Sudakis. Sudakis. What is that? What is Sudakis? That's a good question. That is Greek, I think. Sudakis. I'm gonna say it's either Greek or it's like Czech. Do you think?

Do you think his nickname was Lithuanian? Sudakis. To his buds. As I said, Lithuanian. Sud. Sud.

They said. Lithuanian. Zood, they saw it. Lithuanian, is that what I saw up there? It says Georgia, Lithuania. Oh. He seems like a good guy. Sadekus. He does. He's like a good guy.

She's a large horse. Yeah. I've heard from people that know. Yeah. People in the notes say that she's. She's just a fucking narcissist. She's really pretty. She's stupid pretty. She could shit in my shoot in my bed Johnny Depp style would be fine

yeah yeah she left the Apple Watch behind and he catches her texting with Harry Styles during the filming that movie yeah yeah yeah call that a meant to be moment yeah that hurts especially since trying to read all of that on an Apple watch. Right? Right? Is he going? Jason was crying. I'm not going to cry. A lot.

Let's say I have the ultra, which I'm rocking. Far more screen space, higher resolution, deeper richer colors, the blacks are like, black. Yeah. You don't need your phone. Does it need any? I can't help myself under her car. What?

The nanny says when I came back from Wicked and off, Jason was crying a lot, crying, crying. I didn't know what happened. That's so sad. Yeah, yeah, crying a lot. Ooh. Yeah. And she should have said, and I was proud of them

because it's amazing when you can see a man of his stature, let it all go. Not for that long, but yeah, I hear you. Oh, yeah. Oh. What else you got? Crying and crying. Bro, this is awesome. He's crying and crying. What's wrong? I'll go not for that long, but yeah, I hear you Crying and crying Great the Rex Ryan one

So I guess this guy right after this guy Dwayne's has gets died He felt I need to comment like you know, I knew he wasn't gonna do well in the NFL and see many times It's like oh hey buddy like boy. Just Foot and mouth disease buddy like boy just foot and mouth disease huh? yeah hey now if you know anything about Rex's foot fetishes that joke actually lands oh you need to when and I said

vapor mate field is overrated as hell do you guys want to remember I said that and I also said Daniel Jones would be the second quarterback crafted when he came out ahead of this guy this Ask that everybody Great I knew it was troubling an actual football league God read the numbers. I know it. That's That's good to say. Hold on, I'm positive. Pause that. Mm-hmm. He's talking about football skills black and white

He's not talking about his personal life. So yeah, Dwayne Hasseins passed away and had some issues He was saying Dwayne Hasseins was picked ahead of these other football players and Dwayne Hasseins coming in to lead had a lot of baggage. He was like, everyone's high and mighty on Dwayne Hasseins. He's talking about just football. He shouldn't have to apologize for that. Dwayne Hasseins really struggled in the NFL. He was playing wise. He was a guy that hit by the truck. Yes. Playing wise. He's not talking about D by the truck. Yes, playing wise. He's not talking about doing Huskins abilities, the, you know, I think the,

was the issue that the timing of it though, was he talking about this right around the same time that he was, or is this like, it's not a too soon thing, right? It's like, over 17, so today. Yeah. Oh, he's just talking. So he's just breaking down football.

Okay. If it happened like the day of the day after, even then, if you're talking about just straight football ability at quarterback, that's all he's talking about. He's like, look, I call this, this, this. Yeah, no, the statue of limitations was fine on this, at this point. Yeah, I'm good with it as well.

Not too soon. There's no too soon name where you ever get on Twitter and just see like an hour after something happens and you're like, who's coming down on comedians when the whole fucking squad is in here? Like, like the red keep after dark. Yeah, we can look at that one after. So I guess Phil Knight's putting a lot of money into this Oregon government race to

keep the Republican. We've talked about this a little bit. You know, people aren't super happy with the way Oregon is shaping up with. Yeah, I'm feeling nice, don't any to the Republican party because he wants Oregon to write, right? Well, you just don't want this insane, like far left and sanitized destroying cities like San Francisco, Seattle, and Portland. Yeah, break.

If we could just scroll to the right because of the net. Well, he donated to the Democrat, organ. Yeah, I want to see that run because of her. We're gonna get you those casual boots. Phil Knight donated one down to repot. Oh no, Phil Knight donated one million to repub the camera. Yeah, he's also giving 3.7 million to independent candidates. So he's saying I'll take anything but the Democrat what the booze done to a poor organ is horrible. Yeah, exactly. I'm still stuck on the Spanish boot there. I was actually looking at those and they're popping up.

I was looking for some chances. You're definitely looking for Spanish dance boots. Some chances. Yeah. Is that it, Jim? Uh, you, you know, do you want to do that? You let me see what's going on here. Okay. Mm-hmm. Before. You don't even do that you let me see what's going on here. Okay. Mm-hmm before Dishes on dear friend Prince Andrew especially I have a question about just laying Maxwell for all you conspiracy minded people She was she was convicted for drug for sex trafficking, but To who was it just Jeff or Epstein? Like where are the people she was? Yeah, that's what the saying just Jeffrey Epstein. He was the mastermind behind it. But did any of the names come up

who happened to have been in that house that we're having sex with these girls? So how come I haven't heard about them? Prince Andrew, yeah. But what about the other people? Do you think it's just gets buried? Because there's way too many. How do you get buried?

They say then the black books and we're in court. They're in politicians. Yeah. So I don the politicians yeah so yeah that's what's interesting she said it was a special friendship which continued over the years max well said of her close ties with clinton we had lots in common i feel bad we have lots in common bill clinton's like that helped him i can't and she said i feel bad that he's another victim only because of his

association with jeffrey well yet because he flew to Ireland something like 40 times. You have some question. Bill Clinton, consumet victim. That's her. That's her. That's her now, yeah. Man, it'll still remain a mystery why she didn't go to a country that couldn't exorbit

her, but she was just sitting in that place that he's an answer. I don't know. So that's when it came down on them. They're going to wrap you pretty tight. All right. I think that's when they came down on them. They're gonna wrap you pretty tight. All right, I think that's pretty much it. That's it? Yeah. You're not on tour then, right, Dean?

On your own? On tour? On tour? No, okay. But, go to 2020. Go get this right now, daincook.com. Above it all. Yeah, wait, when does this go live?

Today. Oh, okay, so it's on moment until Wednesday, Thursday, and then it'll switch over to daincook.com. I love it. So you can get it on moment, all the merch, all the cool stuff to go along with it, and then I'm gonna pull all that stuff up off there, and it'll just be the special on right.

If you wanna watch it right now, go to moment.co-slash-daincook. Right now. Right now. You'll watch it above it all, filmed on the porch of the sky. I know, I know. Great to see you.

We love you, man. Thanks for having me. You always have a standing invite. We've been trying to get you on. I appreciate it all, I filmed on the porch of the sky. I know, I know, I'm gonna play that. Great to see you. We love you, man. Thanks for having me. You always have a standing invite. We've been trying to get to our party. I appreciate it, I watch it. So now I'm like, oh, I'm in the thing where I've finally seen everybody else sit and have me some fun.

You're the smaller than you thought, huh? Swelmo, Swelmo. Once I came into the room, I filled it out, bud. And, and, he fucking rigged it that fast. I don't want you rigged it that fast We're filling out Salt Lake City come on out this Thursday Friday Saturday. We'll have a fight campaign as well live in Salt Lake City That's at noon mountain time live on thick boy YouTube Fight campaign with Frank Merrimi's self some other guest

But Salt Lake City wise guys this Thursday through Saturday the next week Thursday show at the rooftop in Calgary is damn near. Sold out. So we add a show on Friday. There will be a fight command Saturday for Jake Paul and Shenzilva. San Antonio is November 3 through the fifth Houston, November 10 through the 12th. Get your tickets at thickboy.com. Come see me at the Shambar improv. Shambar improv.

Shambar girl. I know I didn't cook his opening for me. October 27th, 28th, 29th. Then I got Sharlashkaga in North Carolina, Comedy Zone, November 10th, 11th, 12th. Addison Text, Addison Improv, November 17th, 19th. Finally, Naples, October 1 through 4. That he doesn't stop.

Won't stop, can't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. I'm in the left Boston, you're a hometown town. I love it, man. I see you down there in a minute. I'm in it, man. I see that up there in a minute. I'm like, yeah, baby. Yeah. Damn, we love you.

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