The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 861: Bryan Callen Wants To Eat Brendan Schaub's Fish

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

The guys talk Brendan's new obsession with the Flowerhorn fish and Bryan's promise to eat it, Brendan's decision to no longer eat fish, all new current events and much more! BetterHelp - https://betterhelp.com/fighterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Oh, cratum. Oh, cratum. It's a little happy hippo. So, this is butterscotch. Oh. I've never thought of making some butterscotch in cratum. Let's go through what you got running through your system right now. You got some cocaine. You got some, you got, you got, you got, you got,

you got, you got, you got, you got, you got nicotine. Nicotine. You got caffeine. Caffeine. That's a lot of eans in there. Naisal spray. Naisal spray too. Yeah, I'm a noseman clod.

You got a cold, a cold? No. You know how, when you have a cold, you know, you're a noseclud and you can use the nasal spray. Yeah. But then, then your body gets addicted to it. So now you're using affron, which is great for your liver. Yes.

I think you're insides right now. I'm gonna do, you're insides, you're liver, you're pancreas, everything's going, ha, ha, ha, but I can't, I need help, dude, give me a hand, I'm gonna quit, don't quit, dude. My insides look like Bill Cosby, it's a nightmare. Yeah. It looks like somebody took a torch to your whole,

your inside there. Now, how, what do you figure your life expectancies gonna be? Cause you're a big dog in my heart. 43? 43? What else do you want? You want testosterone?

You want to, you're not. You got off that. I had to. Oh, because I know. To my wiener. Yup. Okay, so then. My wiener. Now, now, a then my wiener. Now now, there

a lot of times there might be some alcohol in the system too. You know, just not today. It's a day cap. Sometimes you do a day cap. You drug addict. You get a little bit of drug addict, right? No, great. No, great. I think drug addict overall. Well, I saw, I saw a video of us five years ago. I'm fine again. We both look very different. Life will get you. Oh life will, hey, ho, ha, next time. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t I'm an old man and frankly I'm not attractive. I'm never been my own biggest fan anyway,

but I was cuter when I was young. Bring it on life. Bring it on. You know the thing I can stop thinking about is here's this flower horn fish. Oh fuck. What dude? I'm telling you my past.

Can I just tell you my thoughts just now? I'm a flower horn fish. Before you get into your stupid flower horn fish, before you get into these fucking fish, because the past four episodes have been fish heavy, man. Fish on fish. They've been fish heavy. We haven't got into the soul water.

Now I do want to hear about it. I don't know what. I told you what was happening for my birthday. I do want to hear out. I had a thought. This is a fucked up thought. I thought to myself, you're going to get to a point where you're a bit decrepit and maybe then

I leap from this chair. I jump on you and beat the fucking shit I mean. That's how this, and kill me. Isn't that fucked up? No, that's how this show ends. Oh fuck, I wanna bring the hand grip thing. Yeah. I wanna squeeze the hand grip. Yeah.

But I just, I just, I don't know how to do this. I'll see you hold that hand grip. This flower horn I'm thinking about. I hate to keep going back. I feel like you just breathed it back there. Hold that hand grip. This flower horn I'm thinking about. Now I hate to keep going back. I feel like you just breathed it there. There's an eight-inch flower horn. One of the most aggressive, less water-fishing.

No, we covered that. But look at them. No, no, I know. Does he have a niggle brain? Yeah, yeah, but there's one I've been thinking about. Got a big ol' herpy store on the fucking top of his head. He's eight inches, he's by himself. Yeah.

I cleared out the tank. I'm gonna leave this jackdamps in there with him and two kind of larger Oscars. You're gonna let him fight it out? No, no, they're not gonna fight. If they're big enough to withstand that head butt of his, they're gonna survive. Really?

And if they don't, soapy. How does Homeboy eat without getting his head in the way? Great question. And what the fuck is in that head? It must be just... Do I have been thinking about it since 3 a. know what I've been thinking about since 3am, I woke up thinking about this flyer horn. I see him in there, he brams the tank,

I'm like, I need that thing in my life. I'm gonna clear out these other fish. The tank is big enough, 75 gallons, right? So he's like gallons. Daddy has a new filter in there because he's gonna make a mess. I mean, you know this. He's gonna make a mess.

He's gonna make a mess. No, I didn't know that he gave me. Are they sloppy eaters? Sloppy eaters, big. I mean, you know this. He's gonna make a mess. He's gonna make a mess. No, I didn't know that. So are they sloppy eaters? Sloppy eaters, they're big. I want to write this down. Wait, give him a little pass. Get the viewers' time to write this down. I mean, you guys wanted to hear about floppin' ones.

Very sloppy eater. There's just fish everywhere, okay? It's just a real mess. You got to feed him flakes. Real Jeffery. I feed him flakes, bro. Flakes. Are you from 1997?

Fish don't eat flakes. I don't know. You know what I fed? You know what I fed my puffers this morning? Why? Live krill. Live krill. And, hey. Yeah.

Give me the show. Why say that? Come to the show. When I drop them krill in there, they'll live. I need a video. I need to start doing some fish videos. We have a lot of fish emails.

Hundreds. Now people, they keep asking me, they want to send me fish. I don't know how I feel about that. What, a chin. Look up the most expensive fish. Oh, some of those fly horns get up to 1200 bucks, 1500 bucks. Look, look at the most expensive fish you can buy for your aquarium. No, this, this Charles Manson flower horn I'm thinking about the fish store since 3 a.m. I can't emphasize enough. Oh, so you're you're obsessing the way you obsess of a car.

I want to wrap this podcast up right now. So you rush to the fish door and get that big flower. It's so weird. It's so aggressive. Hold on, the Asian are wanna. Oh, they're so aggressive. You pay me, not for you. What?

First of all, they get this big. Hold on, middle, middle, 1500 bucks. Hey, middle of this big buddy. Hey, and al big buddy. Hey. And our biospecimens have sold for $70,000. Man, these, some of us, $400,000. Click on them, Chen.

Hey, be, you get this big. Leave me. That big dude. You need a big tank, huh? What do they eat? Yeah. You like the sound of chirping crickets? What?

That's a snack, you fuck. What? Look at that thing. That's a fish, bro. Oh, and there you are, A. Grassley. That's a golden Arowana. Arowana. So, I think you can mix a flowerhorn with.

It's one of the, dude, my fish tank. So, you can't. My fish tank. Yeah. It's a prison yard, dude. So, you can't put your arrow head. I mean, you can't put your flower horn in there with anybody, but somebody his own size.

Correct, otherwise you'll eat them and kill them. If anybody's smaller, it's like polar bears. Boom. You can't put something smaller. You can't put a smaller polar bear in a polar bear cage at the zoo because they get eat. I have two juvenile Oscars that I'm a little worried about

if you're gonna transfer them to my son's tank, which is 60 gallon, not small. Not small. And I'm gonna have them, you know, and then when they get a little bigger, and sort of back into the prison cell. It's a prison yard, dude. It's pretty hard.

I mean, it is a survival of the fittest. So you got now four tanks gone. I have three and the saltwater is gonna come. The saltwater is coming on your burns. And saltwater? You know what's got to happen when daddy gets saltwater? No, I don't. Me neither.

No. I don't believe you look. Okay. I'm scared. No, no, I understand. I like your, like, like, necklace, your necklaces. These are the Thick Boy Awards.

We give out awards. Okay. They just came in. Do you want one? I do. You got to earn it. How do I earn it? Would not stupid MMA knowledge.

Do I have to, do I have to gain weight? No. No, no, no. Thick's in the heart. No, Thick's in the heart. I don't know about that. Yeah, that's our slogan.

Thick's in the heart. Our boy Tarakazim can't have visited me. That's my guy. And he's been lifting weights. He's been going heavy. Daddy's jacked. He gets so thick he's a fucking tuna fish with feet. He's a blue fin. He's a blue fin tuna with feet.

He's as thick as it gets. Oh, because Jim brought up, Santino's new specials on Netflix. Best specials see all year, even though we're 12 days into the year, but it'd be tough to beat this one. Good friends. Every venue I've gone to, I was asked,

who was here, how was the set, and the managers tell me, for the past, I'd say two years, every venue I go to, across the board, who is the best set, Santino. Who is the best set, Santino? Who else have you got in here? The biggest names you know, every single the best set Santino who is best set? Santino who else have you got in there the biggest names you know every single manager goes Santino Wow best set we've seen in years. Wow. That's this special. I can't wait to show up to Santino. I can't wait to see

He was we thought he was gonna come and find the kid now. He's doing Rogan right now. I said hey I thought you're coming in doing Rogan on it. Okay. Well, just same just a bizarre. I can't what you're doing there Just a same same show same same reach. Okay, all right Now I posted a throwback animation of us on Rogan You forget how much shit we've done to a lot too much a lot we've done a lot, buddy It's been okay hasn't been posted yet or refresh it to Couldn't refresh Okay, just now we got posted that's okay. Okay. That's okay. Well, you know nice. Yeah, what can you do?

We got to grow and and us look at that way back in the day. Oh, we're asked you if you're on Johnny Carson Yeah, I'll send it to you. Okay. Hey, let's take a little break because you need catch playing the fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm going to be there this Friday Saturday. Hey, Packer. Next week on Danny of Florida, Danny improv. Packer fans, no, you depressed. Get out of depression. Go see Brian Count. You're just a hopskip jump away and to get to Fort Wayne. And then op main Tampa Tampa is next third Friday Saturday only the 20th and 21st Tampa and Proff Tampa Bay just

Dust off those Steve Young working jerseys get your ass down there Tampa and Proff the week after I'm sorry in the next eight spring Field was that Missouri springfield Missouri. Yep. The blue room or something like that February Missouri Springfield Missouri. Yep, the blue room or something like that. Fair room. Fairery third and fourth. Naples, Bigger Fields on their Braia, March third and fourth, get your tickets at thickboy.com. Also Tiger Thick, Sweetneckter, award winning

nectars, a bit about all shows. Now you brought me a compression. I did. And this episode is brought to you by Better Health. That's right. Yes, dude. Mental health is something that, you know, people always overlook, but it's something you have to take care of the way, take care of your body, your brush your teeth in the morning, sometimes you don't have anybody to talk to.

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Get your sound. We're asking if you're in uh Johnny Carson yeah sorority gets yeah now b you're gonna fly around the world right to get to uh uh fort Wayne savages um you're gonna fly around the world. Yeah, I am. Now, Fort Wayne, you seem stranger things, right? Fort Wayne, Indiana. Think of Stranger Things. Yeah. Nothing happened to him.

Yeah. So imagine watching Stranger Things and they just children. It's a quaint little town. I like it. You know, everything is a quaint little town until a stranger comes to visit. Now, you're the stranger? The stranger can be somebody who's about

to put out some power with comedy or the stranger can be a guy with a knife. Hey is there killer flood is it is it rain or not? Nope. Why's the power out? Brian counts it. That's right. That's right. He's doing comedy in the dark. And by the way Fort Wayne Indiana when I land you'll feel it. You know I ever tell you I had that when we landed in New Orleans, Nollins, and the Flat-A-Tenet, so funny. You just get we landed and the Flat-A-Tenet goes, oh he was this very very handsome, if I remember correctly, Black gentleman who probably had been a dancer or something. Or things that I have to do. Yeah, that's happening. And he goes, he goes. It's real.. We land an ego's he goes, oh, y'all feel that? That's no orange right there.

I was like this bad motherfucker. I was like, ah! Was that when you were there for Dustin Porry? No. No, no, no, no, no, this is a long time ago. Because New Orleans doesn't have a ton of spots. They have like house of blues in the theaters. In fact, they might have been back.

No, I know what it was when I went to shoot a movie there. Oh, remember you and I did New Orleans ton of spots. They have like house of blues in the theaters. In fact, they might have been back. No, I know what it was when I went to shoot a movie there. Oh, I want you to remember you and I did New Orleans house of blues. You remember that post-traumat? The voodoo post-re? Yes. Yes. I'll remember us going and seeing some weird voodoo shit

in some of those stores. That was on me. Yeah, there was some weird voodoo stuff. I like that with like a dream catcher a Human skull W W E B Dubois who was a black Scholar and leader and visionary and and all that stuff and a writer In the 60s. I believe it's the 60s He became somewhat radicalized because in the 60s, I believe it's the 60s. He became somewhat radicalized because in the South,

he went down to the South and he was from, I think originally the West Indies highly educated, spent his time in New York in the academic circle of literary. And he went down to the South, I think in the 50s or even the 60s before the Civil Rights Act was passed in 64. And what radicalized him was in a store window, He saw body parts. That's a shit. I want body No black body parts that were like teeth and all that stuff that were so do reasons no just uh oh wow just

Just this fucking the level of racism that he experienced and the murderous racism and it literally changed This went south. I thought I thought we were talking about voodoo. Oh no, no, no. Oh. So as Nora says, deep voodoo, voodoo, that's it. It's got deep voodoo. That's why I was feeling like I love Norons,

but when the sun goes down and then the night takes on that late night flavor, see what happens is. The smile comes in. Well, you guys all, everybody plays around. Everybody's playing around. They're all doing their thing. Let's go to dinner. Nice dinner.

Let's go to Bourbon Street. Get a couple drinks. Tits and voodoo. Yeah, get a couple drinks. Yeah. I don't know, then what happens is when the clock strikes 12, there's a whole, another, under tapestry, the underworld comes out.

That's right, come out. Let's right come alive. Yeah, and there are places it open up. Nobody knows where I come out. That's where I come alive. Yeah, and there are places it open up. Nobody knows about, that's your own list. Yeah. And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty. And you got to potty, now potty.

And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty, now potty. And you got to potty.

And you got to potty. And you got to potty. And you got to potty. And you got to potty. And you got to potty. And you got to potty. And you got to potty. And you got to potty. or an alligator could be a could be a one of those huge fucking rats that live in the bayou called the old on nutrient a nutrient could be could be the old with a nutrient at least you never know you know could be a lot of things but I love the warlands oh yeah no I could see it now I'm thinking about man I get back down because, because I have that haunted tour too. I love that shit.

Well, you know, Nolan's is got a place for all ages and all types. Yeah I understand. What's weird about New Orleans though, it's so many great comedy's come out. There's not any great venues because I think Alan's out of there. It's weird.

Mark Norman, Theo. Yeah it's weird. A few more. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. They made a movie about it, but it's a book. Woo! It's a good book. Midden and it's about Nolland's. You ever seen Princess in the Frog? I didn't. About Nolland's. I didn't know that. Great movie. Nolland's. Little jumbo, little jumbo, little jumbo. Little jumbo. Okay. Nolland's. Oh, this is the clip, Jenny. Got it. I haven't watched. What's this? Bring it up. You remember this.

Bring it up you remember this Tom stop story about Kimbo slice Kimbo slice on ultimate fighter. Yeah, when you guys were doing that they didn't even show this on there so This guy I'm like a mentioned name on the show he lost and you can drink all that out Call you want in the house and there's only at the time There's only four of us left still fighting Roy Marcus Jones Mitrione myself. That's the four fighting, right? So one of you guys, one of the other guys is hammered. Hammered, wasted.

All of a sudden, this guy gets super racist in the house and there's a bunch of black guys in the house. Starts throwing up racial slurs and throwing up these, you know, the, hey, Hitler stuff, Hyle Hitler stuff. Write his name on this piece of paper. Oh, right. All right.

All right. All right. I have the biggest fight of my life the next day. And I thought it was a dream. Kimbo slice and Marcus Jones and this and this Domingo and this Domingo Rogers comes in my room. They go, yo, shop, get up, dog. Get up, man. I'm like, I don't why is there three large black eyes right my bed. Kim goes, yo, man, just stews down there talking about our people. We're about to jack them up. I thought I was in the dream, oh, excuse me. It's talking about our people, dog.

Let's go F this dude up and like, listen, you guys realize, I said, I'm about down with the race thing, but you realize I'm not black, right? Kim goes, you ain't black? No man goes, goes damn that's crazy Turn around leaving out here. That's what lot's job you can't tell what the hell he is That's a great story old school. Fuck that's a great story good times old school great animation Yeah, Paulie tune anything great. Yeah, that was chat GPT you can do your own animation. That'd be nice from what I hear

Hey, you know spent around for a hot second It was chat GPT or whatever didn't it was in November 30th 2022 So around like years like no no no the actual a open AI for the public for the public Yeah, so so that's so funny. You said my buddies in tech invest. He goes Jay was like I go I go this Chad GPT and he goes he I got a taxi goes hey man. Is it 2019? Yeah, Jay was a Hey, tell me hey dumbass. We've known about this for years. Oh Guys have been using it. It's I'm Johnny come lately to the train. I'm Johnny come lately He my buddy goes no, no, it's not gonna take over the world

It would have done it already right. He's like it's been up for a hot. I was all fucked up. He, my buddy goes, no, no, it's not gonna take over the world just so fast. J.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G too. I'm gonna get back to some shit. I like his shoes. Very loud. Very loud, but not so much, actually. I don't mind the off-white. These shoes are made for running, and I'm gonna run out of here and get that flower horn to thought I can think about. That's all you're thinking about. And I'm gonna drop them like this.

Like, no, this isn't the way of your flower horn request. Oh, yeah. But you already have a flower horn. I don't. Oh, you don't. He passed away from the white egg. A lot of mine terms. So I go have a flour horn. I don't. Oh you don't. He passed away from the white egg. Not on mine terms.

And so I go to pick him up. Yeah. And I go, there's white spots on his white egg. Oh, that's not good. There you go. Should only be a couple days come pick him up. I go and yesterday to buy a clams half shell clams with a puffer fish eat half shell clams.

You need clams now? It's exhausting. I made a mistake. Anyway. Anyway, anyway. Hold on, they're exhausting. So you put the clams in there and they open up? Half shell, because you need the, and then you leave two shells in there,

because the bite the shells to, to, I mean, your teeth. This is a nightmare. So you're out there getting, No, I told me any of this. You're getting fresh, Crill. Hey, hey, hey, hold on. Every day, I have to stop buying pictures.

That's too much. $20 of food a day. You do the math. No, it's too much. And my son today he was all excited. I mean, it's just my thing now basically, but he has a dope tank in his room. But you're like, Hey, buddy, you ready to feed the fish? He's like, stay here this morning. Oh, yeah, I can feed him. Yeah, I saw it. Yeah, he's done. He's done. You know kids are done with that. That is not though. I want to know how long until you are done, but my guesses you might become a major collector and become totally irrational about this. My dad won't warn Joanna because she was like him and these fucking fish. My head goes, have you know that Brent? Oh, when he gets into some, he gets all the way and he goes, have you know that Brent? Oh when he gets into some he gets

All the way and he goes this thing is stopped. He probably has a shark down there. Yeah You know, Brent you get crazy. Oh, dude. I don't know why you don't have why you don't have the ultimate in Dr. Puss. Oh, no, we've already talked about it My birthdays in March. Okay, if you don't think last night I was researching octopus to buy on the dark web, you're out your mind. What octopus you gonna get? I can't decide. And the puffers and the saltwater puffers you can get out of control.

Really? Out of control. You know that in Japan, you'll eat pufferfish. It's all good. And they all know that there is a certain pufferfish That you'll you'll when you when you ingest the meat you die. So it's always deleted. They so it's not cut exactly right You'll die my papa ate that when he was in the Navy He's in out there. He was stationed in Japan. Yeah, he's in the Navy He has an eight sushi since he's like whatever 22. Yeah, he got sick from being pufferfish

So he says I don't know if I buy it. This is the question. I go, Dad, do you just not like sushi? Or it wasn't pufferfish, he just had bad sushi. That's what I told him. I said, you sure it was puffer, because I feel like you're hating on my pufferfish right now. Yeah.

I want you to be invested into my fish life. I'm not going to. Can you survive puffer fish poison? Let me see what that says. Three of the patients had severe symptoms. Correct. But yeah, but no one died. Puffer fish contain a potent neurotoxin.

Now, now let's not go bad on my puffer fish. This is a certain kind of puffer. The ones I have are very cute and harmless. But if you do back in the corner, the puff on you. Whoa, really? They don't have toxins, though, but the puff on you, but what really they don't have toxins open up puff on you What do they do they just puff up and now they can what lines? It's getting it prickly It's gonna hurt, but I asked the guy. Yeah, he goes you got to make sure they don't puff up like your wiggers

It's so strenuous on their body and it stresses them out. Yeah, so dude. They're so fun. Now. Let me ask you this Hey come to show now now hey, see you can't. You gotta know this. Your octopus is very smart. Now, we have video of an octopus going, coming, climbing out of the cage, out of its own aquarium, crossing the living room floor,

climbing up into the other aquarium, eating a fish, going back into his, you know this? Yes, I know this. That's how you know what they are. Do you know something else about them? I want that life. They they can see your face and they know whether or not you're angry Or you're not and they can also touch you and feel if you have if you have the intention to kill them or Let me see that you motherfuckers eat calamari. You're disgusting. They only live about your year

I think oh they only live a year. I think they only live a year though. I count them hard. No, they live forever Brian Look at it. It's Travis down the drain pipe to the city set up. Oh my god. Oh, that's the plot of Nemo Case solved. That's the plot of Nemo he gets out and goes into the sea later bitches My god, I want this challenge though. I like how they have the big nuts for the back of the head You know what though? They're too smart to keep his captives. They might want to be out there, but they can get eaten. You know, good, I'd be to that thing. Shark's saying, get eaten.

We're a friend, I'll say the name later, they're like, oh, just gonna buy those fish and then you can put them in a tank for your amusement. I'm like, hey bitch, it's either that or they go to into the sea and get eaten alive, right? By sea old shark's. You know what I'm saying, guys? Night time is tough.

Today I pet three Oscars. They count to think I hand fed them blood worms. I'm feeding them blood worms, Brian. 30, like fuck. It's not a bad, it's not a bad lie to be a shot. Three of them like king. To be a shot. Oh, these little bitches, these little slimy scalings.

It's a shot to push. They won the lottery. Hand fed. One y'all gonna be a shop to push. Might get two shop to push. Chin, bring up octopus for sale. Hey guys, I'm sorry that we keep making this about fish, but I'm just fascinated with your fascination.

Not fish, but I'm just fascinated with your fascination. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna leave here, right? Can we end it early? I'm gonna leave here. I'm gonna get that flower horn. I'm gonna take a video of it. Uh-huh. This thing is so gnarly looking Yeah, it will give you nightmares really it is the Charles Manson of fish Well, I'm gonna name him octopus $200. That's crazy $200. How can you afford not to get that thing and be comes

That's crazy. It's hard not to look at the one with the big dick head the one that looks like his Dreads like the love the rust of arms will be right and I'm out cute. I get attached to my octopus all my Oscars Larry Kevin and Frank Larry Kevin Frank or cold. What will you get to octopus so they can be friends? See that's up. It gets a little dicey when you mix them really I think so what happens if they ink things up He makes them. Really? I think so. What happens if they ink things up? Well, that's a squid.

Brown-wise parts in there are in a neutral mood. The body of the ox is covered with whatever. I was in the plan in any background. They're shape shifters. Oh, wow. Here's my thing. I'll get a big tank, let's say 150 gal. We call it a gal, gallon-free, lame-os.

I'll get 150 gal. I'll stash that thing, just put all sorts of cord and just have the octopus. How big is it 150 gallons? 150. That's what I'm daddy's doing for his birthday. Was that a bathtub tub size? About. For an octopus and daddy's hand feeding, we're shaking hands every morning.

What? You want to live? You want to live? You you get me touching the octopus? Oh, do I get my hands on my wash my hands? And then I'm telling you, I pet, I pet my Oscars beat. This ain't something I just stared at the fish. We have a real deep connection, dude. You give them a pet down.

Oh yeah. Rock hard. Yeah, you crazy, huh? What? I'm fish crazy. Yeah, fish crazy. I'll do it. Some people are cock crazy, some people are come crazy,

some people are fish. But what's interesting about it is the chemistry of mixing certain fish with other fish, they will kill each other, so there's only one way to find out. It is a prison yard. You see in Shawshank? Yeah.

I got ladyboys in that tank. I got red in that tank. I get Andy DeFran. I got the warden, and you're looking at them. Yeah, these are aggressive fucking fish, man. Look at that. Best top five Oscar fish eating predator at the Oscar. See, that's a big Oscar. That was fast. Now, his name, not in my opinion.

Yeah, fast it is. You have no idea, B. Holy fuck. Nutsos. How the fuck is he getting in that fast? Because they're gangster. I mean, they're even against the fuck hit him. So my Oscars are Juvenile's, but they can get that big

and they also stripe like that beautiful fish. I've an albino one too, I call them YD. And Kevin, I call them Kevin the Trashman. Cause Kevin the Trashman, and shot to the RU garbage boys named after the, RU garbage boys, Kevin the Trashman, I'll probably, better get your No bro. Better get your food. You better get your food.

Otherwise, who'll you do it all? Well that cold fish have an hard time. Dude I can feed him frozen peas Brian. What? Yeah dude. They need veggies too. Who? My Oscar.

Frozen peas. Dude I gave him liquefied. They're like the coyotes in the water guys. I'll give them liquid IV bro. I'll give them athletic greens right now. These are coyotes in the water guys. I'll give them liquid IV bro. I'll give them athletic greens right now These are coyotes in the water bro. We don't give love up coyotes have been no need fruit. I might they adapt They I might double a little happy hip-hippon to that tank. It's eating a salad man. They're bros That's not right bro. That's a baby. That's a gecko. That's a full-size gecko

Hold the gecko swap into the tank because they can't swim You're seeing gecko's hands? Poor thing can't even breathe. He's just sitting there. Hey, you know, Oscars are gangsters. This Oscar has half a fucking gecko in his mouth. What's going on in that gecko's head? Oh well, better luck next life.

Yeah. Oh, now he's getting selfish. Wow. Life eats life. Somebody's going through, if you're a vegan, what happens when you plow a field? How many animals you have to kill every snail, every vole, every weasel, every rabbit,

every, I don't know, all the, even the fawns, that, everything. So you kill everything when you plow a field. That's why the birds follow those fucking machines. Then you gotta poison the shit out of everything so that you can lay fertilizer because you gotta get rid of all the weed. I have to be extreme here,

but I don't eat fish anymore. Well, and if you, that's fucking super annoying. This is gonna know you too. No, I'm, hey, you order a telem calamari around me especially after I get an octopus name Eddie You if you fuck with in you Eddie affiliate of mine I'll fight you. This is so annoying to me like if sassal ordered that that black squid Tell Mari that you ordered at scopa. Yeah

Like you want to eat cod you want to eat? No no no no no no no how could I how could I You're so fucking annoying. Would you eat a flowerhorn? Yeah, I would in front of you. I'll eat anything in your fucking tank. You know now You know flower horns are natural. They're not natural fish. I don't get a hybrid of filet and eat it And then you know what I eat the bulb the bulbus all of filet and I won't eat it. And then you know what I eat the bulb the bulbus? I'll fill it and I won't eat it. I'll be like I'm not hungry after I got it all fill it and lemoned up. Yeah lemon and parsley. You know me I like a good joke right? Yeah stop. Right I like you I'm fun right I'm fine. Hey stop. Why? I'm fish now man it's different. I'll eat your fish. You might as well say you can eat my kids I'm hungry. I like you know me. I'm fun time right fun time Charlie. Yeah, tell about fish Yeah, it ain't fun. Really it's not funny to me. What are you an Oscar and I'm a goldfish? Is that what's going on? Oh?

You're a guppy buddy. I'm a guppy huh piece of shit guppy that I feed my Oscar I'm a Oscar huh, you're not octopus you're not supposed to do I can use my legs and do average Mother fucker Man cooks needs flour on set host to well That looks like shit dude it looks delicious and I got something for you by eating a sick lid or a flour horn You're actually saving other fish because last time I checked the eat all the other fish Yeah, if you that's what Ben you know Ben Franklin was a vegetarian and he was on a boat on his way from the colonies to fucking England and they were cooking

Fish up on the boat with butter. He was starving. He was living on biscuits and fucking like, you know, back then you were a vegetarian. It's saddest vegan ever. Correct. And he was, he was dying. He was like, God, that's not so fucking good. He just wanted a little cause. Oh, so he's sitting there and he goes, but I'm a vegetarian. I got to stick to it. Then he sees them open one of the fish and a bunch of fish fall out of it because the thing is just eating a bunch of fish and he goes, wait a minute. if I eat that fish, I'm saving fish. And that's how we got off his vegetarianism and ate all the money.

You know he's a nudist too? You'd walk around town, you know? He was a character. Yeah. He was a kid from a lot of times. Yeah, kind of a celebrity in France, kind of like. Every time, he had so many girlfriends, shrimp, girlfriends in France.

Oh yeah. Girl friends. Yeah. Fatty speaking, you've ever seen. Brilliant, chub chub. Now did they find dead bodies in his basement, sure? Well, a lot of vegans, if they don't do it right, they tend to eat a very hard carb head.

Remember when I went vegan for a week? Yeah. I ate all the carbs. Yeah. The ham, the homeless, hummus. Yeah, well, a lot of like, so a lot of people from India, when they live on chapatis and dal and they rise. That kind of a heavy carb thing,

you get what they call deli belly, and you'll just get like a belly. It's just, you can't just, if you're gonna do vegetables, you gotta do it right, it's hard. It's fine to the point, so I don't eat fish anymore. Well, daddy, it's nuts, some nuts.

Are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are, are you, are you, are you, are you, are, are you, are you, are, are you, are you, Some nuts. I eat these berries. Hey, you're these nuts bitch bitch. Oh my how about my 11 year old son My 11 year old son goes he goes. Hey man. What's his dragon thing man? I go Nick is in the cargo dragon. He goes. Yeah, dragon these nuts across your face I go. How fucking kill you? He's 11 years old then he because he's a lot of the swear around me He knows some shit and And he goes can I say fuck and I go yeah within context you know and he goes no

because I'm not allowed to say it on my son if it's on me you can say and then so I say something he goes he goes he just he goes hold on let me just check something oh there is zero fucks in here so I can give zero fucks and I go I start laughing is hold on Let me call the fuck store. They just closed. They just closed so they don't have any fucks either. I was dying I was like dude, you're a fucking comment. What's like when we're in the green room David asked me something and I was like what I thought I heard him say it before it And I guess Jay said it and he's like what do you think of these and they said something with D's in it?

And I was again D's nuts. He's like that's why you think of these? And he said something with D's in it. And I was like, yeah, D's nuts. He's like, that's why he gets her brothers. Your brother said the exact same thing. I was like, where mature man? I'm sorry. His girlfriend was like, where's my son? I still, me and my friend had this whole thing where he'd be like, he tried to get me to say D's. Because D's, you know, D's, you know, D's Smith,

I go, D's who? And he goes, D's nuts motherfucker. Yeah. What would J, because you know, he eats like a grouper fish, he has shittles over his mouth and teeth. Oh I have to say is hey you know Dwight, it's like the Dwight around your mouth. You know Dwight and like oh fuck. You know you shit all over.

Dwight. You are grandma used to have. Yeah. Yeah my grandmother, my grandma and my dad's had used to get it. They like Oscar fish. Yeah disgusting. What's the white? Some people get that.

Elliot Spitzer, I think it's him or no, no, no, no Michael Avonotti Remember that guy's now in jail. Remember the lawyer Michael Avonotti. Yeah, he was like, you know There we are he takes on Trabhi might be the next president He didn't fuck on Nike. Yeah, well, he's they tried to extort Nike and he's doing a lot of times 14 years holy fuck I mean he was on top of the world, but when he would talk, he would get this saliva on. Dude, he's representing Somardanos. Farmedanos.

Stormy. Yeah, I guess he took money from her. I guess he took money from his clients. I mean, 14 years. Well, he did the book deal for it. That's what he was like, he never paid. That's crazy. He just said money.

That's crazy. Yeah, apparently he was stealing money from his clients. Like, I always thought he was pretty cool. Like, he seemed like he was on top of the world, kind of a badass. Then you find out it's like, dude, you're being criminal. And then when he went after Nike, Nike is like, he tried to extort Nike.

Mike, George. He tried to extort Nike. Yeah, dude, we make off White Air Force 1. I mean, 14 years. Bring the name. He's a lawyer, too. 14 years, dude. Think about that.

Your life is done. Sentence of 14 years dude. Think about that, your life is done. Sentence of 14 years for a fraud scheme. Stealing millions of dollars from clients. Are you kidding? How do you, how are you that dumb and that immoral? This pay over 10 million restitution to four clients and to the IRS. I.I.R.S.

Hey, what do you think? You're just gonna get away with being a fucking idiot? Yeah, that's just gonna catch you, right? People do the dumbest shit like that. You just eat it. They they they just you looking and you're like Did you think you were like this guy Santos this fucking Republican? Congressman on his resume the guy said he went to Baruch College and another college He never went to those colleges. He said he was Jewish He said I'm Jew. Yeah, that's later, but he said he was Jewish he said I'm Jew yeah that's later but he said as a proud American Jew that they every Jewish

organization was like hold on what the fuck my your grandmother died when he said my grandmother died in 9-11 she died in 2016 the lies are so crazy you see them in first-go voted it well they found out later you see this now they don't know if that's his real name. Do you see him throwing up the white supremacists? Yeah, I don't know if that was a mislip. That was like, I don't know if that was the case, but this fucking idiot is sitting there in Congress. He was alone just on his on his phone. He looks like a group of fish. I mean, I'm just heavy on fish right now, but how the fuck do you? What? Who voted for that? I mean, well, nobody everybody thought he wasn't,

nobody thinks you're gonna lie. Like, Tulsi Gabbard goes, have you no shame? Then get fucked. He didn't work for a city group, or for a whole city did. No wall sheet, nothing. Well, that's debatable and they're being nitpicking. No, they're not.

Why, like, those the schools he said he went to, of the lumber, like, what year's were you there? Wow. That's like when we have friends, you know, really went to of the London are like, what years were you there? Wow. That's like when we have friends, really your friends when they're like, yeah, I'm a brown belt or black belt in this. I'm like, wait, from who? Well, that's how I go.

Why was there during those years? He goes, oh, we must have just missed each other. No, no, no, no, no, no. There's only been ways to check this out. There's four big guys. You would have been in the group, I meant. Yeah, there were ways to check that out. Yeah, my mother knew a guy like that who

He was he was working with my father and the guy said well, I used to play it I played in Wimbleton as a tennis player. They all love tennis because I played I played at Wimbleton So obviously Wimbleton's like you if you played Wimbleton, you're saying I played basketball, I've never seen how good those guys are. The guys who you don't even know when you watch them play, you're like, it's also, you have to be a part of a club. Like you and I, if we're like,

hey, we're gonna play tennis and we fly to England. No, no, it's got played in Wimbleton. In other words, like, top ranks, when you're, anybody's ever played in Wimbleton is so good you can't believe it. Like, they're just ridiculous. Top 100 in the world. Yeah, I mean, it's ridiculous.

They hit the ball so hard, everything else. It's grass. And he gets out on the court and couldn't hold the racket. Like, he was hitting the ball. People are there. And my mother goes, this guy's crazy. And he goes, I'm a little out of practice.

And my mother said, we have, you and he goes, I'm a little out of practice. And my mother said, you have to talk to, he can't work, he's crazy. Then he said the same thing about golf. Same thing, he was hitting the ball. Why did you guys lie about this? Well, I think some people are fucking crazy or they're such narcissists, they think they can get away with being that way.

Like, okay, no, there's that one guy. Fibbing is like, fibbing. Like, okay. Where does that one get? Fibbing is like fibbing. Like, or, or, you know, you know, I joke, like when I was just around, I saw that mountain line, and you guys called me out, that was funny, you're like,

you with whatever. I knew you were alive, I was like, you fucking laughing. No, I've seen mountain line. I go, I go, I go, the mass again. But this, remember that one guy who came in in our lives, I don't say who it is, but he was like, yeah, I fought chick Congo.

And remember, at the time, I was fighting, he said, yeah, I fought chick. Congo, I fought Vendelae, Silva, I was fighting, he's like, I fought check. Congo, I fought Vandalei Silver. I'm like, oh, why can't you just Google the records? I remember that. I remember that. Well, you said to me, you go, I'll do it right now. You go, you want to do it on a phone?

I knew it's bullshit. And then I was like, this never happened. And then I go, what I say, and then I go, oh, well, I look, it's weird, man. I looked up the records. Your name's not on any of the record with you. You wouldn't be on there, it was on the beach. Not a Saint-Tren fight, so.

On the beach. We fought Chate-Coyle and for the end of the year, we still on the beach. Mentors, yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well I can't source that, so. Yeah, people are, that there's, that becomes a habit. I don't know what that's about.

Like, I, oh, I told the story on the, I was on the radio and I told the story about domestic, domestic violence, where I saw a couple in a fight and then the cop came to break it up and the woman jumped on the cops back and now I told the story. Like you were there? And yeah, I'm there and then I said and she fish hooked him

and everybody in the, in the, everybody in the fucking thing went, oh my God! then I said and she fish hooked him and everybody in the in the everybody in the fucking thing went Oh my god, and I went and I go I go that's not true I go I might have made up the fish hook part because it just makes the story Yeah, and we will do that too. Yeah, but I had to stop myself. I was like hey, hey, you can't tell off Fucking don't do that on a fucking I can get away with it But don't do that on a fucking I can get away with it But don't do that on a fucking radio. That's not like but it was very funny. I'll add I'll add you know But I don't actually think I actually don't think I add I think I'm pretty good about not adding stuff at the end of the day I think that I'm just a bit on stage can exaggerate yeah, but if I if I'm gonna tell a story about a fight that I saw

I was in I'm not gonna add an extra punch I'm not gonna worry about a fight that I saw or was in, I'm not gonna add an extra punch. I'm just not. No. I'm not. I hope not. If you do it out of you're joking. I'm not gonna add anything about,

like I'm not gonna pad my high school wrestling record. Yeah. So you know, I'm not gonna do that. But there are people that do this weird shit all the time. Yeah, you do and ask them. It's like, what are you talking about to? Yeah, I don't give a fuck. It's very strange.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't give a fuck It's very strange. Yeah Yeah, um, I think that sometimes. Hey, do you want a flower horn? No, no, but thank you. Oh, yeah No, you got flower horn on the brain, bro. I Just what's going with your hair? You got a little cap you you just decided No, you know, I feel like doing my hair cutie's been up since four That's awesome. I'm sleeping. Oh, I'm sleeping doing my hair. That he's been up since four. Boston, Stephen. I was thinking about the Florida Hornet 3, feel like sleep.

Boston at 4'30' goes daddy, I'm awake and I'm wet. The music pisses the jammies. Yeah, cutie pie. My little boy's sick. So he's having a lot of sleep. Nothing worse. Hacking. Not sleeping for the night.

Nothing worse. Hacking, hurting, waking up. You're like, hate babe. I'm going to Fort Wayne Which is better when I get back right that's your job. I'm gonna That's very interesting you say that I'm gonna take a warm hand to your face. He's not better very soon Cuz I ain't a white daddy daddy fell asleep on the couch accidentally on purpose upstairs Daddy fell asleep on the couch actually on purpose because baby was hacking up along and I knew I was gonna sleep because that kid cries that wake up right away, so So now upstairs then I have a dream.

I have a fucking nightmare. And my nightmare is my other kids, I can't see them, but an hour a week, I have this dream we're in Ukraine, and they can only come out and play for one hour at night. To the bombshell? Yeah, and I woke up, because I couldn't,

and I was trying to keep my daughter calm. She's 14, my son's 11. I don't know that. And I woke up with so much anxiety. I and I was I woke up with so much anxiety I hate that I wake up so much anxiety because people are going through terrible things It like that worse keeping people from their children. I know or whatever you know, I know I know I but your kids make you so fragile such a bitch shit of everything. I never used to be afraid I'm afraid of everything now because of my children. I know fuck

So I gotta I gotta skip town. Yeah, I'm just gonna have to deal with it. See, I can't, some parents are like, I can't! And they just run away. Some dads? What a, I have no time for that. I got no time for that. That's, I'm unforgiving with that.

Have to be. Yeah. I wish you're in town long because John anic it's in Tonight I wanted to have my fight for you to shoot well look my flight might get canceled There the flights are oh Yeah, I'm getting all these why thought anx fives and you can't come from Florida or Vegas for you where he's coming from I guess I love John I gotta give him a flight to I've only done a podcast with him

And I'm a person great guy. Yeah, smart. Yeah, so they grounded all flights last night. Yeah, according to ball According to bars to listen off lights, but then I know bar stool But then why I looked at this well not now last night they did the ground off lights I don't know what he's doing. We got dude. dude. Okay. I don't want this flower home to go Well, that was the first one. Um, did you guys watch the Golden Globes last night? I actually said so I'm so happy that Gerard Carmichael. Yeah, who I love who opened for me and dove back in the day I'm about to look at her I did buy him a yes I wasn't gonna say that but but but I bought him a car because I wasn't going to say that but I bought him a car because

I believed him in him so much and I loved him so much. Could you use the shout out and go and go? He was so special and so wonderful and I remember I said to him, I can't have this kid taking the bus, this kid is very special. His comedy was so gutsy and funny back then. What's it? I can't believe he's hosting. What's the show you reference? I know people were kind of upset about that. Is the wife of the leader of Scientology that went missing in 2017.

Oh, David's having shit. I can't find him. Look man, he's a beautiful soul. And I love that kid. No one had a better joke than Eddie Murphy, too. So they give him whatever the entertainer of the decade or whatever, he gets up there. You have it. Yeah, I just play I would just play the audience. Yeah, yeah, this is very and who said this and he Murphy. Oh, I love that

I love him. And he Murphy was up there. Did he win or golden globe? No, he won like entertainer of the year Whatever you know, they do the entertainer, but whatever like like time of the day. Yeah, lifetime achievement. Okay. I want to let you know that there is a a definitive blueprint that you can follow to achieve success prosperity longevity who seems to mind It's a blueprint and I followed it my whole career. It's very simple. There's three things you just do these three things

Pay taxes very simple, there's three things, you just do these three things. Pay taxes. Mind your business. And keep Will Smith's wife's name. Oh my God. Close down. Everyone's all tuned in. Because he's like just like three keys just success. Do you have a cool age one too huh?

She's fucking true. She hurts me. It's just great. She's touching. And then the girl, the Yellowstone one, some, and then my boy from the Domer series on Netflix won. He's my favorite. From American Horror Story.

They did a tribute to Ryan Murphy, who writes all the American Horror Stories. He's my favorite. He's a genius. I just finished all 11 stories? He's my favorite. He's a genius. I just finished all 11 seasons. It's my favorite series of all time. He's fucking just incredible. The last series.

Woo! You're not comfortable with gay things, not for you. I'm... He's... Well, Ryan Murphy's a very gay man. Oh, this... You'd have to be with this last series. He's a genius.

God. Yeah, he is. And... You guys, I don't watch the series, but that that new game of thrown series, whatever, I guess this girl, that won the TV series of the she's the, the, should the dragon queen. Okay. She was hammered on stage. Yeah. Oh, she wants that TV hammer. I mean, not too crazy, but it just became a viral thing. Everyone loves it. But I guess the someone's up with the food, so they just gave him drinks. So

there's a lot of people waste of doing gorgeous. She's the actual drag. What's in her mouth? She's just hammered. She's so cute. Yeah. Good for her. Alrighty.

You know what, chastel dragons? I did. I haven't finished it. I need to. There's lots. It's been up for a hundred and a half. Right up to the Game of Thrones. Really? So it's season one.

So you don't have to build all the characters, back to everything. So Game of Thrones season one's a little slow. I thought this season one was better than Game of Thrones season one. I found it insane a lot. Yeah, there's a lot of setup. So I met, I met,

just pay off for it, yeah. Okay, all right. All right. All right, this is back to Dana Watson update. All right. All right. All right. This is back to Dana Watson update. California women caucus. I guess it's a total of 17 senators and. Yeah.

I'm very, what the hell is that? Wait, are those the women in Bryan was talking about that run California? You don't want them on your cake. I don't know if it's them. Is it them? It's the California legislative women's caucus. It's probably something.

Well, I have the California legs over women's caucus merge. Is merge the same People I mean I I but they're pretty I mean I mean but so yeah 17 state senators in 32 state assembly women They're asking endeavor and are you manual to fire didn't what because of him? What about her why haven't they mentioned his wife she hit him first, but she's not the president of the UFC Okay, so should they should be what should happen to him? Well, she's gonna lose her skinny tea endorsement on Instagram She lost that really no, I don't know

But they're just calling for cuz there has been no there's a bit there no statement Now do you see Dana white did a press conference today? I guess apparently did a press conference today and was like, for the fighters to come up for me, don't. It's never acceptable. They quit sticking up for me. He's like, I don't need you to stick up for me. That's why I'm the same from the jump.

Don't let him deal with this. Fighters, you're not getting an extra bonus, none of that shit. This is never okay. You don't need to stick up for it. That's correct. Let him eat his crow, deal with it. I don't think he should that's that's correct. Let him eat his crow. Yeah deal with it I don't think she loses job. There should be some

Rebekustians there has to be you can't have the women public like that. Maybe you'll fuck you I spent them for what two paper views or something, but I don't know what you do. I don't know what you do there Yeah, I mean that that but you got the women's cockle. They'd like him to be You get the women's cockle. I don't really want to take I don't know what the women's cockles, they'd like him to be killed. You have to women's cockles? I don't really want to take, I don't know what that is. The women's cockles are new kids. I have no idea, but that's probably a radical group of people in one way or another. There are groups of people, whoever they might be,

that are not interested in anything but distrust. No, they want you on the street. Yeah, they want you to. And he has kids, you know, they want you to daughter. No, they want you to have kids. There's plenty of that. So I don't know. Also, here's the other thing. Yeah, there's plenty of that. So I don't know. Also, here's the other thing.

People make mistakes. Yeah. And especially in marriage. That's that's, you know, that should never hit. I would never advocate. I would say this. They seem to be, they seem to be right now. They seem to be married back together. They raised kids together.

No, since they were 12, you know, so, I'm still going to make it okay. I'm not a marriage counselor. They should make it okay. There should be some re-bacotions there. What? I don't know. That's what my baby. They seem to hit each other. But then I'm saying they seem to hit each other. That's what you know what? To be their leveling. That's, I don't know what it is, but they seem to, they seem to settle their disputes with some fisticuffs. And that would be on her and him, and that's between them right now.

The newbie's thumb rebecaus. I don't know why the caucus didn't mention the woman if they're in for equal rights. I didn't see if they mentioned it or not, but I'm sure they probably didn't do it. Don't give Mr. O'Connor. But so with the whole day and thing, it's even people are more upset because

like he returned to business like nothing happened, just like his fucking Friday. He did one of those and he also did. I came up with that marketing, Jin vouch. Yeah. I came up with fucking Friday. Really?

He runs with it now. Yeah. Mary was firing all the people. I said, oh, Dan Wilka was like, oh, fuck, it's fucking Wednesday. Oh yeah, I remember that. Two months later, it's fucking Friday. And I was hashtag fucking Friday.

Oh, that's great. You just changed the hilarious Yeah, so what's it so yeah, so you know Danish came back like nothing happened, but we all saw we're living We're living at a time a different time with social media with cameras and everything Where everybody is is when you do something you that that is something like that That the reality is everybody everybody's going to have a point of view on it, and there's going to be a fuckload of pressure on you, and you can lose your whole life when you are behaving that way in public.

And just know that, and by the way, the consequences will be permanent. They will be extreme. And so again, you can have a life, you can live an exemplary life, you can fucking, you can have somebody can say something about you from 23 years ago, you can lose your entire career and it will never come back. So unless you have a good partner in crime,

we'll help carry the show. That's just the way it is for all of people. No, so with that said, we do know people that have been going through stuff that are their cues or whatever, but there's no, you know, this is on film. It's 100% this is what happened. So that's what people, the stuff that are their cues or whatever, but there's no, you know, this is on film. It's 100% this is what happened. So that's what people, the people that are accused,

they should come back right away and be like, hey, you know, I don't do shit. You just do regular shows. They know they're saying he shouldn't find a taking stuff back. And nowadays when it's on film, boy, that's a whole, but it's on film. He did something wrong on film.

F's about it. And if's about it, like this is what happened. Jamal Hill wrote an article on it saying, you know, about it. Yeah. And if, but it's about it. Like this is what happened. Yeah. Jamal Hill wrote an article on it saying, you know, basically she always points towards racism. She's like the only reason he's not suffering any consequences because he's a white male. I'm like, ah, you don't know the sport that well.

White male. Dana White. Yeah, the white male thing is different. He's too famous. I don't want her at all. He's just powerful. He's so powerful. And also, again, I don't think you know

the sport and how powerful he is when you just say, oh, it's a white male thing, it's definitely not. Because it can be a worst time being a white male in America. Like, if anything, that's working against him right now. Yeah, we would be, yeah. That's the, what do I do? I will kill you right now, Brad. What?

I'll hit you. Can you all get a cancel if I beat you up? I'll stick my finger in, I'll stick my dirty fingers in your cage, in your, in your tank. You see my cage, don't you say cage? I'll give you a kiss all get canceled if I beat you up? I'll stick my finger and I'll stick my dirty fingers in your cage Don't you say cage I'll give you no fish my pupils. You say cage the way that's stupid. You say cage I'm gonna ask you one more thing. You sure you don't want a flower. I don't want your stupid flower horn What else you got? You do you do me on a plane? I'm like B. I got it. I'm saying patient like holy shit You're getting it now today. I'm leaving you. You're going be on a plane. I'm like, B, I got it. I'm saying, patient, I'm like, holy shit. You're getting it now today?

I'm leaving here. You're going to buy a flower horn. I'm leaving here. You're going to buy that flower horn for $200. It's your tank primed and ready. I primed it this morning. Who are you putting the flower horn in with? Put them in with a jack density who's larger,

a jag wire, sick lid, and a Jagwire. I'll say Jagwire. Jagwire, no, well, it's fish talk. And then I'm doing two Oscars in there. Everyone else? Yeah, I'm bored already. Everyone else, conversation. Everyone else, you got to get out.

Yeah, you got to get out. I'm murder him, I'm murder him. He's gonna rough up the rest of them. There's a big, there's a shot collar coming in. Oh, shot collar, shot collar. Shot collar, man, son of a sh big, there's a shot collar coming in. Oh. Shot collar, shot collar. Shot collar, man. It's in a shug night. Callin' shot collar.

Callin' shots. Oh, shots. Shots up, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. Shots, shots. What do you callin' shots? You should callin' the shots in the tank. Yeah. Shots.

Give me some more, give me some more. This is a quick one because it's here in California. So the floods, I thought, I was like, whatever. It's not that crazy of a deal one because it's here in California. The, so the floods, I thought I was like whatever, it's not that crazy of a deal, but it's actually, is that Ellen's generous? That's Ellen's generous is backyard or something like that. Oh, let me see that. Somewhere else she was at.

Oh, she okay. Now she just said there was like a regular pre-fascist. She can get out of there okay? Her house in fucking San Clarita, the 40 million all houses, she can be okay. Yeah, I didn't care about the Ellen's a giant thing, but the floods are pretty terrible. Oh, sure nearer is the 40 million-dollar house. Is she gonna be okay? Yeah, I didn't care about the Ellen DeGeneres thing, but the floods are pretty terrible. Oh, no!

Sure, nearer is the horrible. That's crazy. Over 17 people died already. But people think LA is this. It's not. I'm kidding me. Now I've never seen more rain in my life. And if anybody tells me we need it one more time,

I'm freak the fuck out. Look at this. That's just Ellen. We need. We need it. This was to pick up next week, all next week's was rain. We need. We need it. It's supposed to pick up next week, all next week's supposed to rain too. Wow.

Dude, my fight is, I think, this is, my fight's like this. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's still, well. We've been dry for a long time. Yeah, it's up like 400% or 600% increase versus this time of year.

Now, here's the thing about L.A., right? You would think they would have this procedure set up so we could uh... capitalize on the rain we don't have the infrastructure so the it's great for force fires and other things but as far as like given the water that we need to provide more water we have the infrastructure for it so it doesn't really matter all right yeah all the runoff water were fucked all right yeah least we have our all men What else you got, Jim?

This is it's, DeMar Hamlin's, I guess his, his sayings, which is, did we win? That was like the first thing he said when he woke up from the, I guess whatever. You know, first thing the doctor said, coma or whatever. Yeah, the doctor said that was the first words that were the connective.

I believe that. And then he's also, oh, people are saying three is back. They're team, I guess, right? So he trademarked both of those phrases. And I guess they already started selling shirts for, did we win, like right, earlier this month when he was in the hospital, oh yeah, that's how it works.

Yeah, like super fast. I think Bill's going to the Super Walnut. You give professionals, like motivation on top of just getting the Super Walnut, just give them motivation to play for this guy Get like being the bills really getting that place real factor in sports big time really the playing for a bigger thing Like inspiration gods on our side. Oh, you give pros inspiration. That's how to holy go shit where you're like guys on our side Yeah, I don't don't say holy ghost, but yeah It's like a spirit. Yeah, sure.

If you believe in Jesus. Well, God is good. God is good. That's interesting though, because there are a lot of religious people on that team. But not all of them. And now religion or not, you're playing for this dude. I can see what can happen.

I got you. I'm not being against those boys. That's interesting. They even set the shop billsters, you sound like hot cakes. What else you got, Jen? What? Yeah, baby, baby, baby. I didn't know that. Yeah, builds Jersey, so I'm like hotcakes. What else you got, Jen? What? Yeah, baby, baby, baby.

I didn't know that. Yeah, baby, baby, I'm hot. I'm 400%. Yeah, a cup of coffee with those guys. Oh, the coffee's been in with that. Yeah, hold on, I might get taller. What the, what? I'm supposed to see the original article.

Here it is. Get the fuck out of here. This guy right here, I guess he was able to get his legs. He heard it so painful. Oh yeah. It looks super painful, but then he was able to get his legs hurt so painful. Oh, yeah, it looks super painful But then he was it he grow he was able to grow five inches like this second time he's done it So a total of five inches. He was five two now his five seven My god made a big for his impact on his life. He was Mikey his five seven eight tall

Turkey's doing all the air five two some guy came to me at my drop comedy club in San Diego. He was from Australia. He goes, he pulls out of, he goes, look at his mate. He was from like Australia, he said that. He went to hair of Istanbul. Got the best hair transplant I've ever fucking seen in my life. I was like, holy shit. Don't be surprised if I go on a vacation.

Don't ask me where I've gone. Don't be surprised I've come back with a nice thick head of hair. Cowboys said it's fast too. You can I go on a vacation. Don't ask me where I've gone. Don't be surprised I've come back with a nice thick head of hair. Cowboy said it's fast too. You can do it in a way. We can do it. Yes, nobody did. They paid him to do it.

I might go there, get myself a little hair transplant, and you know what? Get a little taller. Get a little taller. Now this says it is painless. The remote control is used by a patient to increase their height by one millimeter a day after the surgery in a process that is usually painless

I make four to six tiny small incisions into the leg creating a window to gain access to the hollow part of the bone Which is fun to drill into one millimeter a day. I answer a device that responds to external remote control that a patient will control at home But how do they how do they make it so the bone grows? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just I need longer arms so I have better reach for ankle

picks and for punching. Yeah, go through that pain to do that, dude. Yeah. I mean, even if they had it like down to a science where you can make your weiner longer, I just wouldn't go through the pain. Surgery is risky. I may not work or surgery. I mean, it's at a slight appearance of increased length to the non erect penis but it's not usually but does not change the actual length of the penis and we're surgery comes down complications get the fuck out of here. If you have if you have a way to grow tissue now you're going to be fucking now we'll get serious guys are going to have the biggest dogs on the planet.

I everybody. Or about you buddy. You fun Mr. Rowan. Well, they can grow in the ear. They can grow in ear with the stem cells. I remember so, I think they might be able to grow a dick eventually. They can grow in it.

They can grow it on a mouse. It's like, huh? It was on the back. Yeah, the whole house. Yep. That's pretty sure you can have that. My soup can grow dicks on there. Well, remember some, some, I think the soldiers

have their weavers born off. Remember that you used like your thumb? Like, some, some, I've even sold you to have their winners blown off remember that you like your thumb Like hey dude use my middle finger. Yeah, I think but yeah, they're they're gonna grow dicks I hope soon. I was watching you know Mark Bell Chris Bell the the weightlifting guys He had a podcast and they had some sex bird on and I guess there's like There's a good amount of information showing that penis pumps can increase your width and length to a certain degree like penis bump It increases your body from the dog you wish chin Like no, it's it's science. Yeah, you pump it. Yeah, we'll find out a few months. We'll find out Yeah, we don't need that though. God is good am I right? I hey

I told you I don't want I right? Got his good? I guess. Listen. All I know is I watched, when I was a freshman in college, I thought my dick was always not big. And I sock, porn. And I said, that guy's dick is big.

And my girlfriend said, your dick is just as big. And then I had sex with her when I was older. And she said, what are you talking about? You have a great don't like. And just your way of breaking about your winner. Yeah, that's how I like to end the podcast. Now listen, if you're anywhere close to Indiana, this Friday Saturday, you might want to comment

and see me. Hey, pack your fans. You guys are sad right now because you're teams on the platform, you can lose in Rogers to the Niners, more Broncos, hopefully. Listen, if you're sad, you'll see Broncos. I'll make you laugh.

See, that's a thing. Four-way in Indiana. Now, here's the other thing. Danny of Florida, in Florida, close to Miami. Did you write in 19, 2021? And next weekend, it's just the next weekend. Then we got Edmondson, Canada, February 23, 24, 25. That's all.

Haven't been there in a long time. We'll see you later in the comic strip. Oh, Edmondsonon that's where Grizzly's live that's where polar bears are we not around that model yeah up north I'll see go get you some come on you'll see Brian then we got not being sad I'm in Tampa Florida next week next Friday Saturday Tampa Bay improv Tampa Florida is next Friday and Saturday that we will have 100% tiger thick nectar available in person there and all new on tour merch can only get it in person as well. That starts in Tampa, Florida next Friday Saturday, January 20, 21st. Springfield,

Missouri is February 3rd and 4th. Naples, February 16th through the 18th, I'm gonna catch and finish there. Baker's field, California, one night only February 23rd, and then Brea is March 3rd and 4th right now. I'm gonna have to change that March 3rd date, but for sure March 4th, but March 3rd and 4th, Brea as of now, Oklahoma City's on there as well, but Tampa, Europe next week, get you some, fthiccboy.com or fatkZ.com. I'm going to get this flower

horn. I'll post it on my fridge. Yeah. Alright kids, that it. Love you. Brian has catch plane. Love you guys. It's the ADT Safety Days event and that means you can get a special offer on a safer, smarter home because ADT believes everyone deserves to feel safe. Have your system installed by our security experts or do it yourself with a self-setup system, featuring no long-term contracts and free shipping. And now all ADT systems feature Google Nest products for a safer smart home inside and out. Celebrate safety days now at ADT.com slash safety.

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