The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Ep. 524 Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas

Episode Date: March 1, 2026

Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappa join the guys and talk "bug chasers", Chris' ball player past and extra wide skin tagged ass, their podcast History Hyenas and unique fanbase, west coast vs east coast comedy, podcasts vs comedy specials, BS stories they've heard, Dan Aykroyd hitting on Chris' mom, Tyson Fury masturbating 7 times a day, Yung Joc shamed for driving Uber, UFC Conor McGregor vs Donald Cowboy Cerrone and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised.

I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the on. On its studios in Plyar, Vista, California.

It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. That doesn't matter. Sounds better when you say, live. But we're not live. We don't do it. Shut up, man.

And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. Shut. This is not live. This is not live. We're already rolling. Yeah. This is good.

Girl stuff. Chris Stephano and Janus, Janus, what's your last name? Pupus, Papas, Pippus, whatever you want to go. Pappas, dude. It's exciting. John is Papadirus.

It's good to have you guys here. You know, you are, you hug, Brennan. Yeah. And then you turn your head and you kissed his neck. Now, is that the first time you guys are meeting?

Yes. Here's the other thing, though. And you kiss his neck. But we're text buddies. We're text buddies. Every time he texts me, he calls me Babe. Yeah. We're pretty comfortable with that.

You like merch and you like fashion. This is their shirt. I want you to. to zoom in on that. That's a, that's, now, they think that's a hyena, but looks a dog. It's more like a German Shepherd. Yeah. Maybe a coyote.

Yeah. Yeah. That's not a hya. People, and if I'm going to be completely honest with you, it's not a hot seller. People haven't been buying it. That's why we just have them left over in my apartment. So let's give them to the boys. Yeah.

Because really, our fans aren't loving them necessarily, but we're going to come out with new shirts pretty soon. Yeah. Good. I would rock a shirt with just two hyenas. back-to-back laughing. We should make that. We should make that.

Because our first logo was our faces. We superimpose our faces into a bloody hyena that are just eaten out a lion carcass. And we were like, that'll be good. Women want to buy that. And we were wrong again. You got a big female demo? Well, we have, our demo is kind of like everybody. It's kind of weird.

Like we have people who are politically extreme one way, the other way. We got guys. We got girls. We got a lot of transgender people. Yeah. I would say, I would say, I would say, I would. I would argue and anybody can tweet at me at Christie Comedy at History. I mean this podcast.

We have the biggest transgender following of any podcast in the country. I don't know. I'm going to say, I'm going to fuck so. I just don't know. We have a big. It's fucking true. I don't know if you have, I don't know.

I don't know, bro. We do. Bloomberg News did it. I don't know. Wow. I don't know if they did. They did. They did.

They did. No. And I'm telling you. We're going to back check after this show. Back check because I'm telling you, I mean, every, I would say every fucking day. Every day, at least every other day. Yeah. we get to our DMs

someone's post-op janetalia and that tells us that because they'll say you know love you guys going wild like we know because we'll say hey send us something wild you did today and people constantly put in on a flight to Thailand

taking a piece of my elbow making a dick or you know we get a lot yeah I have to stop I don't know if they take a piece of the elbow again I'm seeing that's what we're doing Brooklyn guy

I'll fucking take your elbow making a dick I'll fucking suck and I'll fucking mother yell Trump 2020 you're getting crazy bro Oh, dude, he's both going in super hard. And now you're eating that. He took a tiny bite of the fucking chocolate.

It's disrespectful to eat rice patties in front of Asians and just take a big American foxes of golf. I want to eat them like how they eat them. Dude, you're so thoughtful, man. I don't know if that's how they... You guys got a little teeth to little ants. No, no, no, I don't know if that's true. Yeah.

A kid is a man. What are you mean? You're being pretty good people. You're being super disrespectful. I'm not. You're fucking good kids. No, I like it. I like it.

I'll give me 20 bucks. you can tell the difference between Bobby Lee and Ali Wong. What the fuck? Man, I mean, I'm not being a dick. We got transgender fans. I can say what I want. I fucking stand with you.

I stand with her. Tuck your dick's back. Yeah, I don't know. It's doing the right thing in the election year in November. Go to the right. God damn it. I'm fucking shoes on right now.

Put your fucking shoes on. God damn. I'm so horny. I'm so offended. I mean, I'm so offended. I'm so offended. Now, now, I want to say, this before we go any further

you're Greek. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. And I met a urologist I. Yep, I met a nurse who worked in the urology department and saw 10,000 dicks and said who has the biggest before I got, who has the biggest? She goes, biggest digs, Greeks. And I said,

she said, she said, they beat all the brothers and everybody else. No, yeah. My black friends say, yeah, no, that's that true. Yeah, you don't see, well, blacked, you don't see Greek, right? There's no Greek. So maybe she doesn't know what she's talking about. She doesn't know what she's talking about, but I appreciate what she's doing. You know what he's big on him? His bush. He's got a full bush. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. All right. Yeah. We should keep it old school. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, what were you? What was your sport, bro? I'm taking you in right now. And you're, you represent muscular comedy. You and Del Vecchio. Oh, yeah. A couple of thick boys. The problem with me is this, though. When I take my shirt off, it all falls apart. I look good and close. I was told by casting direct and I think he nailed it. I got leading man's face, friend body. So, you know, when I take the shirt off. So that's that's why I'm defeated. You know what I mean? If I matched it all up, I'd be out there

with fucking Tom Hardy doing sex scenes with him. Brad Pitt, bro. Yeah, I wouldn't do a sex scene with Tom Hardy. You can't like yourself that much if you're a comedian. Right. That's my opinion. You got to hate yourself a little bit. Yeah, like, I've always you know, girls, it's always kind of like, with me, you know, when I take those, when I take my shirt off and you honestly, the same thing. We thought, not that it's terrible, but we thought it was going to be a little different. You're the, you're the thick girl in Spain.

Yeah, like I got it comes out and just Like I get up, I got a lunch lady ass You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a fuck a little bit of an LLA. Well, I had a girl, I dated a girl who was big But I didn't mind because she had the waist And she had just, she was beautiful, but was just big, big

Just a little too, I'm a little light in the ass for it. It's not for you. It's not for you. It was a problem. It was all good. Then one day she was lying on her back. Mm-hmm. And it all flattened out.

Her ass flattened out. You know, the face and the neck and everything flattened out. Like a blob, really? She looked different. It's like you fucking a puddle. That's a bottle. Which I've done before. That's why I got chlamydia.

I'm a sex addict. I know. You can't say that heavy girls. Give you clemenia, for God's sake. They do. But I'm telling you, they do. I got transgender fans. I can say what I want.

I guess you can. You know who said that? What's his name? Who did 300? Jared Butler? Gerard Butler. Gerard Butler. He said, like, everyone knew him from the movie 300.

The biggest movie's ever done, right? And he's fucking Shred City. Yeah. Well, now has money. He kind of fucks it. The body fell apart. He got three of it. He hooks up with girls.

He's the sloppy puddle. That's what it is. He gets a little sloppy. Regular guy. Tits are out now. Yeah. Tits are. Dad bod.

Full dad bod. Because what I do is there's a lot of things like, you know, I have sex with the lights off. I try to keep the shirt on or I wear things that flatter my shoulders or whatever. And even dick picks I send out. I send out this one dick pick. Oh no. But it's really against the Verizon Fios remote. I got great sweatpants on.

I put a Verizon Fios remote in my sweatpants. A Verizon what? Verizon Fios TV remote? I put one in my sweats about two years ago and I send that out as my hog and then girls like oh my God fill me up and then when it gets down to it I got to turn all the lights off get them really wet

You know you're honey dick in them Yeah because I got I got I'm not saying I have a small dick No you know I'm about I said this the other day And I'm stand by it I would say I'm about six six inch dick Seven with warts That's salt Yeah when I have my when I open the cream on No seriously garden still whatever

When I don't put my HPV cream on I got warts I got one that typically is right by the pee hole And it kind of gets Unicorn right I'm not embarrassed by that. You have a recurring award problem. No, but, you know, I mean, listen, you're going to get a little speed bumps on your dick. I agree.

You know, I mean? Are we having fun out here? We're having fun out here? Yeah, I know. I mean, I don't have her. I don't have HIV yet. I like your style, man. If you tie off, if you tie off at the base and right behind the balls that you don't have to use the remote because that'll keep it somewhat hard.

Right. That's a great pants. That's a trick. It's a trick I used to use. It's a veteran tip right there. It's a better. It's a better. Yeah.

You know, I'm a little bit. is, I mean, you're... I have a decent penis. Yeah. You're in the game. You're in the game. I got your beat. I hope you cares.

We both do. Not a big deal. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. What do you guys got? What are you guys got? What are you packing? Well, let's put it this way.

Sent my boys. What rhymes with mate? Yeah. Give it off. Don't be aggressive. No, keep on now. Sent them a picture of a piece. I didn't know them all, but they needed to understand what they were dealing with.

That's where we learned respect. Yeah. Yeah. How about the first time I met you? They understand what the truth is true. How about the first time met you? We're both at a year. You're taking a piss, and I'm taking a piss,

and he just cocks that mongoose neck over and looks down and I go, what are you doing? He goes, relax. Be gay. I'm just looking at your dick. I'm going to see what you're working with. You know what? And honestly, man, I played sports in high school.

And it was kind of like, you know, when I was a junior in high school, I was the captain of the team. And anytime a freshman would come on, sometimes a freshman would make varsity, it's like listen babe welcome to the team pull your dick out and the guy would be like no I'm not gonna do it I'm like why what are you gay or something and then they say no I'm not gay

I'm like well then pull it out and then I fucking see you tickle his balls a little bit make sure he's straight hold on what the fuck is going on you tickle his ball I don't know man you didn't play team sports yeah he's not in it

and I talk about sports okay we're going to like get to shower let's talk what kind of what's you're fucking on that TV we're playing ball tickling what was your sport guess what was your sport

Guess what position? Linebacker. That's what I would say, too. No, no, my, I went to an old boy Catholic high school. He didn't have a football team because it was too toxic. Oh, you didn't play football? No, I played basketball and baseball. That's what I played.

So, yeah. Yeah, but you know, Division III basketball. There was a girl on the other team. White basketball. I played white basketball. White basketball. That's why I'm wearing a warrior shirt because shout out Chris Mullen. Shout out Chris Mullen.

Hold on. I got to stop everything. I got to stop everything. I got to stop everything. You said white smart basketball? Because these white boys in the Division III, they're not going there for sports or going there for their education. So you're talking, I mean, they're running Phil Jackson offense with no skill. Yeah, let's be sure we explain that.

Yeah, there you go. Thanks for looking out. I'm not doing that. Hey, what rhymes with me? You guys, a couple of, I'm saying, it's a racist sandwich right now. Yeah, yeah. No, no. We're in the trust tree.

I was going to say, you and everybody's diverse over here. He's fucking Greek, Mexican. Either you can be Muslim or. Greek, who knows. Well, I'm Greek, but a lot of people just think I'm Mexican. Oh, really? They're like, yeah, we had a show on the Bracket, MSG local TV in New York, and they said, we love Chris with that Mexican kid, fat Mexican kids.

I was sitting down on the train and some construction work because, like, you did that kid from the bracket? I was like, yeah, it goes, it's good, you and the fat Mexican kid. You know what you're doing together. Yeah. Keep doing it. Yeah. I went back on his Nokia. I was like, it's 2018, but whatever you're going to do better.

You grew up in Brooklyn? We're Brooklyn kids. Yeah. He grew up in like the, you know, upper Astralon, Park Slope, Brooklyn, Judgeified, Woke, dope. Yeah. And I grew up where it was like, you know, it's blue collar. Dude, how Brooklyn are they? I don't know.

My mother's born and raising Bensonhurst. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. It's right of the family. Hell nice. You ever go back there, visitor? When I was a kid, I used to go back to see my great grandmother who was who died at 98 or something.

Wow. I got good genetics. Yeah, you look good. You look young. You look healthy. Both you guys, there's a lot of health out here in Illinois. Yeah. There's a lot of, you guys breathe well.

Not so much in New York? No, nobody's really healthy. Bro, I got fucking three. I got packets of dayquil in my pocket right now. We're not healthy kids. Yeah, we get nervous. The only one I know who doesn't touch, like, bad food and who's from, Andrew Schultz doesn't eat bread. Andrew Schultz does not touch bread.

Yeah, well, Andrew Schultz is run in New York City like it's North Korea. Yeah. I mean, he's fucking, he tells people he doesn't poop, then that's just what you have to deal with. Yeah. You know, Schultz, he's our boy, but yeah. It's marketing, right? Shultzies our fucking, it's marketing. He just yells at it.

And he's our fucking, he's really fucking good at it. No, we're on the Schultz, we are Shultz disciples, you know? But it's the thing is if Schultz ever gets a little lippy, I'll still fucking screw his head off. Yeah, that's what he knows about us. Yep, yep, you know? And he's like, he posts boxing videos and I said, all I got to do is tickle your balls for three seconds.

Yeah. And that's it will be in a relationship for two years. You'll never know what fucking hit you. That's right. Wait a minute. That's how he fights. That's how he does. You don't see him coming at all.

That's the long game. You don't see a Christmas guys. Don't fuck with me, Joltz. Are you being metaphorical right now? You being literal. I'm saying, Brian, if that kid fucking, if people like that want to pop off at me, I'll fucking corner them at the comedy

or out here at the comedy store and I'll tickle their balls and the next thing you know they're bringing me home for holidays and we're in a gay relationship going all over the world on his sky miles because he's selling more tickets to me right now

and then he won't even fucking realize what happened until it's three years in that's a fucking intricate metaphor that's a super intricate metaphor he told me before we got here he said if either one of these guys starts talking shit

he's gonna pop in their lap so quick they're not gonna know what hit him absolutely he said you keep talking like it's Christmas time yeah it's changed Yeah. Not what are you talking about?

That's how we roll out there. That might be... Tarras, Pomerator and my friends like that to do the same shit as I do. Yeah, yeah, I think that might be broken for I'm going to kick your ass, but I'm confused. I thought it was on my boxing.

Keep talking, he'll pop in that lap. He'll end up in that lap. I swear to fucking God, you fuck me, we'll buy a house together. Yeah, 100%. We'll get a time shirt together. Absolutely, guys. We'll do all that shit.

We'll have wedding photos. Absolutely. I'll get a full sex change. Keep talking shit, bro. I don't give a shit, dude. We'll get a puppy. Yeah, fuck. I get up.

Don't tap ride with a good time. Yeah, we'll start bug chasing, whatever you need to do. Oh, God. You know what bug chasing is? I want to come. Joe, bug chasing is wild. You don't know a bug chasing.

You don't know how he lives. He chases bugs. Okay, so what is? What is that? Okay, so what bug chasing is a phenomenon in the gay community I've heard. It's a phenomenon in the gay community where they go out and they have the thrill. Because sometimes you're having so much sex that you just, nothing pops off anymore. So they have sex with guy.

The guy won't have HIV. We'll have sex with the guy who has HIV. And the thrill of catching the bug will make them come. So it's bug chasing. Oh, that's what I'm saying. If you keep fuck with me, that's what I'll go out and do that for three years. You won't even know it.

Yeah. You won't even know it to you fucking start zero converters. Yeah. Awful. Yeah, bro. You thought UFC was wild. It's basically looking AIDS in the eye and go what. It's going what?

It's going to what. Now, now it's not my cup of tea, but it's brave. Yeah, it's fucking brave. Everybody's out here with brave comedy specials. We'll fucking come into Chrissy D's world. I'm bug chates. Yeah.

What a great name for a special. Yeah. Bug chase. Chrissy the bug chase. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah, that's how we roll. I'm going wild.

My daughter's watching this. This is great. And we do have a big trans. They send us emails that just say thank you. I don't know, guys. I get a lot of thank yous. We get a lot of thank you. Do you have kids too?

No. No kids. Married, nothing? Just got married. Okay. Yeah, just got married. Just bought a house. Yeah?

Oh, you're, how is the comedy scene? You guys do. We're poor. We're poor compared to you guys. Yeah, we guys will sit. You guys will do mostly the comedy seller or where else do you? Stand. For the comedy selling the stand.

Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, you're flapping your wings down. In New York, yeah, you know, you know, talking about, you know, I mean, people are, you know, the difference is, you know, our peers at the comedy cell were talk about, like, we're the good comedians here. And it's like, you know, I mean, these guys are in flying Tesla's out here in L.A. It's like, what do we do? We want to do. We want, I got a family to feed it. I got a family and I got a gay husband. I need to fucking hate. I need to pay. I need to pay. I'm my, I got fucking trans man. I'm not. I'm not lying. You're married to a guy just for your fucking trans fans. And I don't even believe you're gay. I swear to God I'm talking

I'll tell you this right now I know this for one I'm 100% I'm 100% not gay but I'm 100% not straight I'll tell you that I don't know man I'm so confused more

and I fucking swear to God I fall in love with men I have sex with women that's what I do that's how he rolls yeah I swear to God dude I start holding your hand right now

I'll get so horny I'll fucking text Andrew on my phone what he does yeah he has a girl over his house he'll call me for a 45 minute conversation yeah to get going

and then he's he's ready to go her. I need thought. The only way I can come is insightful men. I was getting a blow job a couple weeks ago in Denver. I couldn't, three hours this girl's blowing me. My skin was, she was like, recircumcised to me. I put her in Obama speech, blast a law. I fucking shot one off of the uglah as soon as he fucking, you know.

That's what Obama speech. I like black, smart men. That's what I'm into. But I like women now. Fuck, man. I'm confused. You're fuck. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Absolutely. That's why I like Andrew Shultz. He's a smart black guy.

Yeah. Yes, he is. Yes, he is. It feels good. Now, do you guys have... You guys got teams? You guys Giants fans? Jets fans?

New York Giants, Yankees. Giants, Yankees. My teams are Giants, Yankees, New York Islanders, and Serena Williams. Yeah. All right. And Serena Williams.

No, I can say that. Yeah, but I feel you. No, but I just like women's tennis, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. US Open when I was a kid. I didn't know that. Ball boy court attendant. And it was one of those things where it's like when you work at the tennis, see, you know, when the US Open, the French Open, Wimbledon, they get the elite kids, politicians, kids, and the royal family will have their kids do Wimbledon court attendants. That's not how it works in the U.S. Open.

They get dirt bags from Queens and Brooklyn. So we were out there 16, 17 years old with these fucking balls. You know, my Pat Finnegan, Patty Fly balls, you know, we worked 20 years together there. And, you know, and then Serena Williams, my friend hooked up with her. What? 100% yeah i'll say that right to the fucking camera i got a friend who hooked up at serena one you know what and i'll look at you and i say she he and he didn't and no he didn't no he's in blueberg news where to god bloomberg news wrote about it was she does like kind of white guys

yeah you're fucking blueboard yeah is he under the there was p uh practice courts p1 through seven and right under the bleachers yeah that's where the big pro's would play dude i've seen everybody's dick by the roger federa and erotic all these guys because i would restock the towels And so my job Better working with a Right Nice piece Because my job was to

Restock the Talas But then sometimes I jump out Of the ice cooler When they were naked And I was like I gotcha And I took jerking Everybody off Especially they're in the semifinals

I didn't love you man And then once I see the skeptical Look in your face Like this isn't true I swear to fucking It's all true bro I got a boy My boy Scotty karate

That used to work down They was fucking ripped Jack kid And he hooked up With Serena Williams And they did it She was giving him A blowjob

Underneath P1 through 7 Because I was looping A tennis racket up my ass And I swear to I don't know what to that, man. I don't know if this is true. I got fucking transgender fans. I'm not going to lie about that.

See, I think that you're lying. You got to support that. You guys are too paranoid here. You got to believe. I'm not saying you're a liar. It's true. I'm just saying I'm confused. It's what happened.

But I know you would never get on here and lie. I know you'd never lie. I'm not going to lie. And Bloomberg News and Bloomberg said this about also the Serena stuff. Absolutely. The New York Times talked about. Yeah, we're going to have a fact check. I think.

Yeah. I don't think. do I believe them. No, yeah. We get reviewed all the time. Did New Yorker wrote about us, New York Times? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time, yeah.

Do you guys live close to each other in New York? Yeah, we live in a block away, actually. A couple blocks. He actually just moved up to another, like, two hours away upstate and I'm going to fucking burn his house down. Two hours? Yeah. Why?

It's my wife wanted to do it, you know? She wants to raise a kid. I'm just living her dream now. Kid old time. Yeah. Yeah. But you have a kid. You're a dad.

I got a four-year-old daughter, but, but, you know, I'm spent all much, she's my best friend. partner to me and now he's moving so i want to get joe de rosa and if you guys know joe de rosa great comedian who looks enough like yannis so i want to get him into the neighborhood because i want to just pretend he's honest i'll put him on a leash i'll fucking spank him i'll make him do what i what you surrogate but now you know yeah and i'll just be like you i'm going to call you yonis something like that yeah he's got good ideas you got to give him that's good germans have good ideas yeah how long it's good news oh wow it depends on what epoch of

history though they make good cars but you can't just see you're Generally, the best cards. I was kidding around. No, no, no, try that. Yeah. I was just joking around. It's a couple years. Mine's a couple years.

I'm not talking about the points. But the Japanese got what was fucking coming to them. Yeah, but tell them about the unis, though. The unis. I will say that. Yeah, tell them that. I am not, you know, being of German heritage now, you know, 40% on Ancestry. com, German heritage.

I do not support the Nazi ideology. I think what they did was horrible, but those uniforms were fucking cute. You. Yeah. I mean, designed by Hugo Boss, Fry boots. Yeah. I mean, they had an eye for nice fashion. shout out Andrew Schultz

He'll fucking make a video of this now too Because he's the real dictator So you know You want to talk about new Hitler Andrew Shultz.com You ever see how fitted those fucking jackets? No, the brown shirts

You're talking about the brown shirts With the red band The boots The Luftwaffe Yeah, the ones The SS here Even the British Army The red coats

You got a point America's enemies have They look at that Look at that They look at that They look at that Have you ever noticed The Nazis

he's uh they there was a uh they had some as the kids say they were lit yeah they were lit now i mean disgusting ideologies but really nice fucking uniforms i take a guy like that i put that coat on he wouldn't know what hit him that trick that guy that kid wouldn't know what look at hemler if you go to that last did hugo boss really design it yeah hugo boss is the true design that's what and that's what we talk about a lot of our podcast like selective outrage and uncomfortable the truce it's like hugo boss designed the uniforms Mercedes ben's built the tanks but nobody wants to boycott that's like let's just pull down to christopher columbus the uniforms he created the uniform he was the this is how we got famous made the nazis engines do you know

this right the reason why you have hugo boss thongs and whatever you wouldn't want to send me pictures of those you go boss thongs it's because of the nazi they got he got the nazi contract yeah that's the truth but i don't know what that part was right i'll show the picks on camera i didn't think about that yeah he doesn't no but that's and that's our podcast history ianas where we're like you know it's just it's funny first but we're talking about history and just like there's things that happened in history that it's like, you could say whatever you want, whatever woke, dope, shit, fine, we're all about it, but it's like, let's

find the truth in history. Yeah. And then we do that. But it's funny. Give us another. Give us another one. Like, um, like, uh, what was your biggest episode? Or best. It was Battle of Crete, maybe. Battle of Crete was a good episode. Battle of Brooklyn. Battle of Brooklyn was a revolutionary war. But then we find things out like, you know, Christopher Columbus. Everyone's like, they were pulling that. They want to, want to get the statue at a Columbus circle, uh, in New York City. And it's like,

you know, listen, I'm a fucking, I got. an Italian last name. I don't really care. It's a fucking statue. But then when we start to look at the atrocities and how many people he killed. It's like, yeah, sure, he killed people. Absolutely did. But, you know, smallpox killed the most people. I was going to say. It was what he did. That's what they did that. But, you know, you talk to these kids right now. They're like, no, cancel Columbus. It's like, just go. It's a beautiful. By the way, you can't take that statue is huge and beautiful. Absolutely. You, you, to take that out is to take away a piece of history. You can't take to us. We're really on Confederate flags. In fact, I believe Christopher Columbus was

Spanish, wasn't he? He was. He was Spanish. Yeah. He was Spanish. Yeah. By Ferdinand and... Yeah. And if he was here today, he would fucking come here, he'd discover the country and then we'd throw him right back over the wall. Yeah. We got a cat. No, you weren't though, because your eyes got... I'm kidding around. I'm kidding. Oh, no. No. No, no. No, it's, um, yeah, we just, I don't know, Christopher Columbus. And then what else do we find out? You know, Gandhi, everybody loves Gandhi at 12-year-old wives. It's just like people want to select what they want to love. Gandhi did take baths with 14-year-old, 15, 16-year-old girls.

So he was having sex. He wasn't at his mother's deathbed. And I guess that's what caused him to take this vow of celibacy. Right. The idea was- Before that, he was freaking out. He would, he did some fucking. He would sleep with and take baths with. So the legend goes, beautiful young gals to sort of tempt himself and overcome the temptation.

Oh, you don't believe. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you want to say. I know better than that And I would imagine he had to have been fucking him And I think that's

That's a little revisionist history Yeah Yeah It's like you can see all the Every everybody in history If you look deep enough You're gonna find some Some fucked up

Martin Luther King used to beat the shit out of his wife It's like you know That doesn't change anything White prostitutes But it's like what do And it's just there's a thousand examples It doesn't mean that the man All of us are flawed

Sure All of us have dark sides Does that make them flawed though It makes him human They're just human. It makes him human. But that's my point. It doesn't mean you get rid of him completely.

So Picasso, in that, that woman who did Hannah, Hannah Gatsby, whatever. In net? Yeah. And she said, she basically was calling, basically saying that you cannot separate the man from the art. And Picasso was Picasso. Picasso. And that we should basically, we should, yeah, we should dismiss the guy because he treated women unfairly. I can't do that.

But I disagree completely. He was a ground break artist. You can't do it because different times, man. Stephen King said this. Stephen King said, Stephen King is a very liberal guy. Stephen King said, when you talk about Oscars being so white, there's definitely an argument and all that basis. Art shouldn't have diversity actually as a quota.

Art should just be good art regardless of who creates it. We don't need to see who creates it. If it's good art, it doesn't matter who it is. Sure. That it should rest on. I'm not looking for diversity in my art. I'm looking for good art. Even Ben Franklin had a bunch of hos, man.

He died of syphilis. Yeah. He used to, Ben Franklin used to. I don't think he died of syphilis. I mean, he used to go to, you know, he died of syphilis. He died at 80, 485. I don't think he was having sex then. So I'm going to have to.

No, but he did have syphilis because it crawls up your spine and starts to eat your brain and then he had lesions. Did he die syphilis? That's what happened. Alcone died of syphilis. Nietzsche might have and certainly, but I don't think. But I mean, does that mean he had sex like in his, in his 80s and then? He could have just had it.

He could get on it. Incubates for 20 years. Wow. But he said, yeah, there was no kale juice back then to killer or anything like that. He was famous for having syphilis. Franklin likely died of at. MPM and infection of the space. The point is he died of the chess wall, you know.

Okay. But he, okay, so maybe it didn't. There's no, I've read enough about it. There was not enough. He was 84. There you go, sir. But he did a lot of fucking though. But I do know that he would, he would make up things like make up reasons to like get

France to have to like go to Paris for like some convention or some treaty that was kind of like bullshit. Because he was just, he was famous in Paris. Yeah, and all the women loved it. Busted nuts. So he's on the $100 bill, baby. You know what he said when they were done with the, he was the oldest guy when they drafted the, the something called the U.S. Constitution.

And the woman said, what were you doing in there? What did you do in there? And he said, we created a republic, madam, if you can keep it. Yes. I like it. If you can keep it. And then he went like this. Yeah.

Yeah. And he just fucking snuck it. And he went like this. Yeah. When George Washington got. got word that the army after the Revolution War hadn't been... He was a badass.

He freed him too. At the end of his... After a revolutionary war and he found out that the army hadn't been paid for a while. Congress was moving very slowly and he was very afraid there was going to be a coup.

Right. And there's a famous story of Franklin had a flair for the theatrical and he came up and he was a... He'd won that. He was the general who was revered.

Taller than most. They say probably 6'3 and but but dressed, you know, and had a voice and loved the theater. Always wanted to be an actor, apparently. Right. Yeah. And got up and he very, very dramatically took his glasses and put them on and said,

forgive me, gentlemen, for I have grown near blind in defense of my country. And the point was no one had suffered like Washington with wooden teeth. I love it. He would, he'd been there the whole time through thick and thin. And if he was there and he gave them a long speech about how government should. move slowly. Right. And that that is important.

And then when he decided, when they said, do you want to be king? You guys fucked up. Talking about history. Yeah. Yeah. You thought you got to have fun, huh? No, we're listening. Keep going to make him king.

They're trying to make him king. No, they're trying to make him king. And he said, he said, I did not fight this revelation of war to be George the second because King George he won. Sure. And when King George found out that he refused to be king and would be president at the legislature of the populace. Keep going, B.

He said if he did that, he's the greatest man to ever live. Get his lap. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Goos, go, go, go, sco. Hey, be, talking about Abe Lincoln.

All right. Get out to your notepads. He was tall. He could hold an axe out at arm's length. How about, you know, what's funny about Abe Lincoln is they don't have any recordings of his voice. So the way he talked real deep. That's all. He has no idea.

Yeah. They have no idea. He could have been high pitch. Like high pitch, Ericoff, Howard Stern. They have no idea. Yeah. It could have no fucking clue. We just make that up.

You could have sounded like Michelle Wolf. Yeah. She's a sweetheart. She's a sweet, sweet girl. She's a fucking savage. I ran into her in New York and she gave me a hug. She's the best. I didn't even know what.

I saw at the comic store and I got scared and she looked at me and I was going to say hi and I getting intimidated. I don't know. Punch her right in the stomach. No, no, no, no. Because she has red here. You have a fucking out there. And she's pretty.

She's beautiful. Michelle Wolf. She's so smart. Oh, she's real smart. I like God. All you guys came up together, like Michelle Woff, Schultzzi, I did. Mark Norman.

I came up in the 30s. I'm an old kid. How old are you? 44. I look good though, right? He looks real young. Stefan, how are you? I'm 35 years old.

Are you a kid? Me and him about the same. I came up again, Michelle Wolf, Michael Chey, Pete Davidson, all those peeps. I came up with like Nate Bargatsy, Dan Soder, that generation. First of all, Dan Soder, meeting him rival high schools, but we love each other now. played against each other in high school. Shout the Overland Trailblails. Shout the Smoky Hill Buffaloes.

Anyways. The Monkey Hill Buffaloes? Smoky Hill. Battlefield. Smokey Hill Battlefield. Nate Bargazzi, nicest person I've ever met in comedy. Great.

Yeah. Nate Bargazzi's a monster. Yeah, he's a monster. Personally, he's a monster. He'll drink your milkshake. Yeah. That's from there will be blood. Yeah.

You'll tell you how many dictator. Yeah. You can't have a conversation with Nate without him telling you how many tickets he sold. Nate will bust open his laptop and tell you how many tickets he sold. a wedding. He's selling a lot. He's, you know,

his point, that boy's pushing. The kid's selling tickets. No, the kid is moving fucking tickets and he put it all with fucking cargo pants on it. He's the last one

that blew up off Netflix. Like, legit, like there's a lot of face people on there. We went talking about a guy who literally got on Netflix and was, as soon as people are talking about it, you're good, man.

See that guy Nate Bird Zatsi or whatever? And you're like, I'm, yeah, no, he's great. All the, but we feel like, you know, I mean,

LA, it's like all the podcasting community you guys have. It's like that's the new shit. Our goal is we want to make millions of dollars with our shoes off. Everybody's fucking money. For guys my age, they came up. For guys my age who started this 20 years ago, 25 years ago, it's so interesting to see how much the internet has.

It's you guys, I envy. You 30 or something year olds. You fucking guys. You can make a living on such a high level. It used to be back when, you know, we were all doing standup. You didn't make more than five grand a weekend tops. Maybe 10. Maybe 10 because maybe, but not even then, because you just didn't have access to, you know, your own marketing.

But it's a different time, right, B? It was a different time. Like, I forget who it was. Maybe it was, forget to the fuck it was. Some old school comedian was just talking about how back then there was like five spots for guys that were moving tickets. You had to get on a late night show like Carson. And other than that, there was about five guys doing the day thing. now there's so many avenues and it's like you kind of you know you so many funny people are getting

discovered and making a living do it just at different time yeah i'm gonna nibble the top of your ear and watch some blood come out i'm drinking like a fucking protein shake which what you're looking at this one i'm looking at that one because i know because i'm about the tortellini because when i see a fucking tortellini like that i know you're a fighter and i know that you're going to put up a good fight but make no mistake i will nibble that and i'll get that juice i get that fucking you do solid though absolutely it's hard it's hard so am i Oh, no, wow, Chris, this is not appropriate. I'm not gay.

Let me say, all right, man. I always thought, and I asked you this, because you came up in New York, you're doing stand-up, and they came out here, but I always thought the New York guys were, like, so kind of, like, almost assholes. And then now you guys are out here, like, Schultz, Norman, Sodor,

all you guys are fucking nice as fuck. And I don't get why you guys don't work more together. Like, out here, out here, everybody works. Like, we all, yeah. It's a neat. We're learning that now. That's why, like, not all our peers, but a lot of, you know, Shultes and all those guys,

Tim Dillon, who's come out here, that's what we're doing now, too. We're like, no, no, what, this is, we all help each other. Yeah. Well, because we learned it from you guys. We watched you, and then we're like, oh, that's what we should be doing. So now that's what we're doing. And it's only benefiting everybody. Yeah, because New York, New York and Boston is always,

as a comic you were your own, I did this joke with, Rogan. Is he a little sweating profusely or no? No, what? Take your shirt off. I'm sorry, all. I am sweating so hard. But with Rogan and I, we did our first meat eater was how long ago?

Probably five years ago. 17 years ago. How long was that? First meat eater? Six years ago. And I, and Rogan said, hey, man. And he said, you and I are representing comics now. And I went, yeah, you know that unified bunch?

And he started laughing because nobody was. Right. But I will say that Rogan. It took a dictator. I don't mean to say dictator. It took a fucking team captain like Rogan and be like, hold up. Nobody's going to be mean to these new comics. No, it's not talking.

They're our friend. They're here to do a job. Sure. Everyone won't be fucking cool. Don't bump somebody for two hours. No. You know, that's what happens a little in New York.

I've never done that. That doesn't happen here anymore. No, no, no. No, we, yeah, well, we know. Like in New York. I mean,

I'll bump a few guys, but whatever. Never, never. But that was because the system was like there was only a couple spots. So everybody had to compete for those couple spots. Now it's like a speedboat era where you build your own boat and just zip around. I think, I think Rogan is, he's at his level. So you're going to do what the most successful guy's doing.

his thing is be nice there's room for everybody so everyone follows that but Ari Sheffere when he left L.A., who was a comedy store door guy, blew up as a comedian he's so talented, then went to New York and was like, what are you guys

doing? Why are you guys still winning each other? I know. Ari's really, people don't think about but R is one of the big guys. Foster flavor though. Right, yeah, it's always been like fuck you. You're like, who's the fucking best here? That Bill Burr, that competition. It's just it's always been New York

has been a place that doesn't put up with nonsense. Oh, for sure. Sure. And so, but think, but think about this, cynical. Think, but at Burr's age and success, think how many comics Burr helps now. Yeah. Besides Rogan, there ain't no one even close. Think about all the shit, Burr does for comics. I know. He's got a whole Comedy Central show out helping comics.

Yeah. He does so much stuff for comics. He launched all, you know, his own network. Yeah. He helps comics like a mother-like. But I think most comedians in New York City now, we know that, you know, or at least the ones that we hang out with like, we get it. Like, we're like, yeah, of course, you know.

But I don't think we were ever really like that. Like, we just are late to the podcast game in the sense, like, I was, I don't think, I don't never show Yonis be mean to anyone. I have, oh, my mother and father always like, just treat everybody the same. Like, I remember I, I had a manager when I first started and he like treated this waitress like a fucking third class. And I was like, you're out. I don't care what you can get from me. I don't want to be around that that's disgusting to me. Like I didn't learn that. I didn't grow up like that. So, so I think now it's starting to be like, hey, let's all help each other because it's like, you know, I feel like in the New York, like you said, it's being cynical. Like, even when Andrew first started like, you know, YouTube and all that. And he's fucking. crushing it. Me and Yon is like, yeah, this Schultz is great. We're like on Team Schultz, like, go get it. You know, you go to the comedy selling people like, really YouTube. It's like, yeah, really YouTube. That's the new fucking network. Like, what are you worried about CBS still? Nobody cares. Nobody cares, man. The business has changed so. And people still don't get it. Yeah. It's really interesting.

Yeah. But also what Schultz is doing is also brave because he's putting content out there that he can't, so he's posting content. Then that next city he goes to, he can't use that same shit. He's posting new content like that. Hell yeah. So anyone hate on them? Anyone hate on them? Keep up. Yeah. Try,

try, oh yeah. You know how hard it is. Come up with new content that you're going to post to sell tickets? Yeah. It better be good. I love it. He does it every week, every month.

I love that. That's how much he's riding. Absolutely. Yeah. We're going to hate on him. We are hanging off his scrotum. Absolutely. Everybody.

Yeah. No, yeah. I only see Schultz right now. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. All you guys are killing.

It's exciting. We're trying. Well, I mean, the podcast, our podcast has like, grown really like a lot in the past like two, three months. And now we're hoping after all this stuff, it continues to grow because I mean, our fans, you know, it's nowhere near the amount of downloads or fan base you guys have, but the loyalty is crazy. Like we sold out the Gramercy

Theater in New York on a midnight show. You know, like, everywhere we go now, tickets are sold. It's loyal, loyal, loyal fan base. So it's fucking great. Because it's like, you know, you're talking to these people for an hour, two hours a week every week. It's like, it's almost like a family member. They're like, oh, I'm going to come support you. I know you. I know you. They'll come up to me. Like, how's your daughter? I'm like, But also you guys are funny. How many people try it? How many people try it?

The reason why it works for you guys are fun. It's also doing stand-up for 10, 15 years. How long have you been doing it? I've been doing stand-up. I started in 2009. So it started headlining in 2014. 10 years. So you've been headlining for six.

Since 2014. I was a pediatric physical therapist. And then I left that to do comedy, which was wild in the beginning. 2005. So like, yeah. It was like 15, 16, 17 years. Yeah.

And you're special on YouTube's a beast, man. I watched it the other day. That's really good. Blowing the light. Shultz produced that. He produced the director of that. Yeah. So thanks. It's on YouTube if you want to check it out.

Yeah. We got a nice diverse episode. We got Moe Mare, who's a Muslim American. We got Al Jolson, who was the originator of the blackface in the 1920s. That was the podcast. Neil deGrasse Tyson. He came on your podcast. Yeah, it's just a random.

He likes history. And he's artists and he went wild. He told us that. Neil deGrasse Tyson told us if you put Jeff Bezos's money, if you laid Jeff Bezos's money out in cash, it would stretch from planet Earth to the moon back and forth eight times. Yeah, that's how much money that kid has. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a lot of fucking cash, baby. He's said ridicule, huh? Sorry, that's ridiculous. He got our boy, Santino on. Andrew Santino's been on. Burr came on and Bill Burry came on.

Bill Murray came on, I think, to help him. I mean, it was so nice. He just came on. Yeah. Yeah, Bill Burr, Jimmy Gaffigan. Harry Tubman. Yeah, we had Harry Tubman. How was that? How was it? Was it, uh, was it Julia Roberts, though, in Blackface? No, was the... No, it was Harry. We had Harriet Tubman.

In Newburgh News. Check it out. I have to stop you guys. I just have trouble. You're paranoid kids. We had the actress who played Harriet Tubman. No, we had... Harriet Tubman on, and then her brother came on,

and he had it, he was like, you know, like Buffalo Bill. He had his dick and balls between his legs, and he was calling himself Harriet Tuckman. Yeah. And he was there, too. I'm having trouble. Holy sceptical, man. Harriet Tummins are 201 years old.

doesn't believe anybody. She does fucking keto. Yeah. Oh. You ever done a podcast where you got accused the lion so many times? I'm sorry. He questions everything. I mean, the fuck.

I know, dude. Just go with it, bro. Does he not look like an honest guy to you? No, he does. I'm just, he's been honest since he walked in the door. Walked in here in rice pads. I'm skeptical. And kissing me on the neck.

I mean, what kind of host is that? I kissed a UFC fighter right on the neck. I take chances, baby. And then you insulted our Asian brethren over here. I didn't insult. I love the Asians. I fucking love Asian people. You said they should not be allowed to vote or so.

I can't remember. I don't want to spread rumors, but I hear what I hear. Did you have a, and I dug it, was it a show or was like a pre-show on Comedy Central? I had a show, yeah, that's, that's, that's why I discovered you. That's great about, that's what's great about, you know, where I signed a whole huge deal, nice, exclusive deal with Comedy Central. It was great.

And they put me on an interstitial show for five minutes every other Friday night at 1130. So it was great. The exposure was fucking fantastic. Yeah, it was always, but it was weird. I thought, I thought it was like a lead-in to the main show, it'd show you talking. No. Then they'd play like, Tosh Point O. And I was like, well, no, it's called stupid questions.

I had an hour long special on Comedy Central called Size 38 Waste. So that was out. Are you a 38? I'm a 38 now. But now I got a new special coming out on Comedy Central. It's called Size 36 Waste. That's a wide waste. Yeah.

So I'm going to have my goal at the end of my careers to have five specials all my waist sizes. He's got, really. He has a, he has like an abnormally wide ass. I got a lunch lady ass. He does. Yeah, I got an LLA. But that's not a bad thing. It might be good for power.

He's got a bad ass. Let me see. Is that, yeah. You got a fucking foil. Dude, you got a foil on it. You got a flat ass, bro. You also have a, is that a mole? Is that legal what he's doing?

Okay, that's probably a word on my ass. I got, no, it's a full, that's a full general ward on my ass. You might want to hit some dead. Sorry about that. Is that okay? I apologize. I should have thought about it was a one more room. But your ass looks like it's made for power, though.

You can hit a ball. I don't think. My ass is made for white power. Yeah. No, no. I'm just kidding around. Oh, shit. I'm getting around. Chris, I don't know, man. You said that with conviction.

No joke. You have to make sloppy joes. Yeah, I got a skin tag on my ass. And, uh, you know, but the thing is with me is I'm friendly with my present now. At Cartel. I've been a lot of Eckartoll. So I'm friendly with my present. And I don't think about shit. It's not going to matter five months. I don't give them more than five minutes. I'm going to pull my ass and balls out. I'll pull them out. Yeah. It's not going to matter. Wherever you are, there you are. Exactly. You just, you stay friendly with your present and you do it. And, you know, I just saw, yeah, it felt good. It felt good to breeze out my head. I farted before and it just felt good to breeze it out. Yeah, yeah, breeze it out. But the Comedy Central is not there. Are you done with that? Comedy Central, I'm doing the second hour special.

We're going to film it in June in Chicago. And then, and then I have an animation show in development. And listen, you know, when we're on, I'm on phone calls with them now, developing the show. But I know how it goes now. I'm just, you know, I'm all about the podcast and I got my two feet in this new digital world. I absolutely want to get stuff on Comedy Central. I love them. But it's like, whatever they want me to do.

You know, they're calling me. They're like, how do you feel about the subjective truth of your character? I'm like, what do you want, who do you want me to voice to get Hassamina? You want me to be transgender? What the fuck do you want me to do? Just put it on, have Aquafina do it. I don't give a fuck. Nobody's going to watch the show.

So let's just give me the money. Put it in my pocket. Do your fucking cartoon. Can't slip because whatever the fuck you want to do, guy. I'm doing the podcast and that's where my ticket sales are coming from. So I'm just trying to, you know, you listen to these things. How many people actually, you would know this more. I don't hear people talking about Comedy Central at all anymore.

David Spade Show does well on there. Those lights out. It just got a renewed. for I think another 20 episodes. Yeah. I think I can say that. That got renewed. Yeah.

It's a great place to hide your special. If you want to hide it, do it on Comedy Central. Yeah, it is. Here's a problem. Like our boy in Edwards had special on there. I was on the road.

I wanted to see it and it aired whatever on Friday night. And then I was like, you know, then I had my shows. Then I got done. I was like, I'm looking for, I can't find it.

That's a huge problem. Look, it was one of those decisions. When they came with me for the deal, I got a daughter. I'm a co-parent. It's like, I'm raising a family here.

I got to do this to make the money, but I'm aware. Like, I promote it as much as I can, but I'm, I'm realistic. It's like nobody's really going to watch it Friday at midnight, but hopefully the digital streams get up. But even if it doesn't, all I really care, all I'm even thinking about from my special is, I don't care about the arc of the hour. I mean, even if it was on Netflix, I mean, who can even watch an hour anymore in this ADHD?

Everyone cuts off at 26 minutes. So all I'm thinking about is, is a comic they cut off at twice. 60 minute special. I'm just thinking about how many one minute Instagramable clips or two minute, three minute IGTV clips can I have that those will get shared. around. But would it be smarter because we know, according to Netflix stats, that most people, they don't, they'll watch the full hour, but they don't do it in one sitting. Right. They cut off after 26 minutes. So I was talking to Bert Kreischer about this. He goes, once they gave him those

analytics, my closer, I put up at the front, because I know I have to hit him in the fucking mouth at the top, because they're not a lot, the majority of 70% is not going to make it to my closer. Sure. So you hit him right in the fucking mouth at the front. Yeah. It might go a little further, but either way, they leave going, damn, he was a lot. He was great, even though they only saw 10, 15 minutes of it. Isn't that crazy? It's very smart. But wouldn't it be, we know these analytics, right?

We know these. Why are people doing shorter specials? Why aren't people doing 30? I don't know. Because I think it's conditioned thinking. It's the same reason when you go to a comedy club and they're like, you know, giving check spots out when it's the only show of the night or there's. I know it's insane.

Well, on the road, you're doing an hour because you have to, right? And you're doing an hour in 15, whatever, because people come to see a show. But talk about that thing. Yeah. So if people sit, like get a babysitter, right? They fucking go to dinner. They pay for parking. You got to give them what they're due.

You got to give them the hour. But I'm saying with Netflix, with Comedy Central, Showtime, Where the fucking If we know the analytics are 27 minutes, why the fuck is everybody doing that? Here's my question. I don't know. Here's my question. If you did a half hour, do you think people would turn off at 15 minutes? Well, they're doing, but Netflix is doing that.

The 15 minutes specials. Comedy Central is doing that. That's a short one. Comedy Central is doing, they're going to do 10 minute bits, 7 minutes. like 10 minute, killer 10 minute sets. Yeah. Netflix is doing 30 minute specials. I've heard of 20 minutes specials.

People are, now they're opening up to it. For us, all it matters is that a lot of people watch it and so we can sell tickets on the road. But here's the thing, and we think about what Shultzies doing, what a lot of us are doing is when you post a clip that six minutes long, that clip is going to sell more tickets for you than your hour. Absolutely. You may not need to do it out. I was laughing at a little bit.

I was laughing at one bit. You're doing about the way your girl talks. Oh, yeah, my baby, kids mom. Yeah. Phenomenal. Oh, thank you. So you take that and you post that. That's going to sell more tickets than your hours.

You know what crazy is that you may not need a fucking hour. For me, I swear to God, what I care about is selling as many tickets that they can. That's what I get. And that's why I'm thinking. That's where the money is. That's why I said. But we're all stuck in this. I got to get an hour at this place, this place, this place.

Yeah. If you're Chappelle or you're Rock or you're Rogan or you're Burr and, you know, paper Tiger and they're paying you 40 million to produce that hour. Do it. You already selling arenas and stadiums and your Kevin Hart, that makes sense. I just, if you're these other guys, I don't know. And I'm not saying I have the answers. I'm not saying, don't shoot hours.

I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying when I look at the analytics, I'm like, I don't know, man. We agree. Isn't it ironic how like the farther technologies come, the more it's sort of come back full circle to the beginning? Like now the live performance is the special thing. Yes, sir. Because it's so easy to see somebody on a screen anywhere.

It's so common. They're like now talk radios back with podcasts. True, dude. Because people want to get to know the personality of the talent. They want, because everything's instant and like everything's on screens. Yeah. It's so much. Podcasts have changed.

Rogan always says, podcast like people don't need to. I don't know. I'm just sweating. You are? I'm going to towel you down in seconds. Give me a small towel. You want me to be that towel?

Yeah. Is that always you said? I'll do it. I guess I do now. I'll be the small. Are we going to save me? Best-looking man I've ever seen in my own. I'll kiss you on the lips off.

He just got lost in your eyes. Look at him. You won't get strapped out right now? He's straight. To me, what would he say about, Rogan? Rogan fucking said, what a lot of guys say is when they write a book, it used to be you had to go through. First of all, you write a book. Your publisher wants you to write a much longer book than you need to.

That's the big secret in publishing. It's got to be 300 pages or whatever, for whatever reason. So now you sell that book. you go on a book tour. You do one episode of Rogan. These people get their idea from that book across. First of all, you don't really have to read the book usually. Second of all, more people hear about that book than in 10 years, than in 10 years. Well, anybody from Sam Harris to Neil deGrasseis, and these are public intellectuals that make their living selling books. They do one episode of fucking Logan. They know Daddy's going to sell books. One episode and they sell more books from that

three hours than they do in 10 years. I mean, I'm talking about, I think with Sam Harris, talking about he's he sells the bestseller he goes i i i can sell more books in you know in this three hours than i do in ten years how do you think on it was created yeah they were doing all right and then they came on rogan and alpha like yeah yeah of course but you know we talk a lot about rogan oh you guys whatever he literally has the name a show name a show name a show name a show name a show yeah it's the biggest show on the planet sure we know that you and i bigger than stern it's bigger than, yeah. Oh, Bubba.

Not even close. It's bigger than Kimmel. It's bigger than... Hold on. They're not in the same fucking lanes. As far as straight up, eyes, airballs, it's not even the same. Again, name a fucking...

No, he is a big... He's my boy, so I defend him, but this is just numbers. He's not... Him and Stern? Yeah. Not even close. You guys are...

Stern's on PBS compared to what. That serious stuff? Yeah. That's all bullshit. What? All those numbers, all that. We could tell. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, here's one for you. Name last time someone went, dude, you hear that Stern interview? Go ahead. Yeah. Go ahead. No. I did it.

Shit, you New York pieces of shit. And I'm a Stern fan. You can only tell. No, you're not. Oh, shit. You don't know, man. No, you're fucking not. No, I'm kidding.

Sorry, we're getting. This get contentious right now. No. I agree with you, and I can see it. We can see it from our own ticket sales or from our own social medias. When you do serious, I mean, you don't get a single follower.

I mean, it's like you set it into your fucking toilet ball. But when you do these podcasts, like I'm sure, you know, hopefully the fans like us, the numbers jump. And then it's like the tickets jump.

So it's like we, it's so obvious. It's not even a, we wouldn't have to give us a millisecond. We would know right away if it's between Joe Ruggner or the Tonight Show, it's like, yeah,

if it's between the fighter and the kid you go on the fighter and the kid. If you want to sell tickets, I'm not saying I'm anti- Tonight Show, but it's like, we want to sell tickets. Yeah, I think it's the industry trying to just convince people that people are still watching TV when nobody's watching. Nobody's watching.

This is what they, sorry, I'd be out of my interrupting. But this is what, so like on Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon or who's the big British guy. James Gordon, who I love. He's straight. All, yeah. No, he's straight, man. I'm transgender fans. All they do, all they do is do, they do segments to upload the next morning.

No one's watching that. No. You do segments to upload so they get the digital. Carpool karaoke. My show, my show, we just got numbers, and Sony executives downstairs. My show on ABC is, I think,

the second biggest show right now. It's huge. And I'm very happy to do it. It doesn't help me one I owe to selling tickets. If I didn't have this, I'd be a dead man. Yeah. And that's why I only take 80%. Yeah.

What? Yonis and I saw it. Well, if Yonah saw it, especially in like 2012, 2012, 2013, he had a really huge... 2011. He was one of the first guys to hit it on YouTube

had a huge character Marisa Rodriguez, Dasit. It was she went fucking viral in New York. And now, and then at that time, I remember when you,

and you said this, we were at Carolines, he was headlining Carolines. And at that time, Chris DeLeo wasn't what he was now because he's now, obviously he's fucking humongous act now.

But at that time, he was on Whitney, a sitcom. Yeah. And the rooms weren't even close to, he didn't sell half the tickets. Yonis sold. And Janus was adding shows

because it was just YouTube. in 2011. And now, but now that's what Snapchat. Very cool. Fine, too. He got big of them. Fine. Fine.

And we were watching Chris last night. It's like he's fucking murdering on stage so you get it. But it's like, but then it's like, and it's like, yeah, he's an amazing standup. But it's like, the reason why he's packing the arenas is because it's like the internet. The internet. Yeah. It was the internet. But also the internet went, oh my God, whatever Chris does, that's a funny bit.

But then when you see him, like, holy fuck. Yeah. This dude's ridiculous. But then it's like word of mouth. And then Chris goes, oh, you like that video? He didn't post something else. Then he gets on the Eminem a rap video. I was going to say, like, I've went back and watched fucking shirt.

I've watched back. I went back and watched Chris Dalia's Instagram clips to Eminem things or the thing where he was, you know, where he was doing when he was those Laurel Yanni sounds from last year. I watched it a thousand times. I've watched your videos when, you know, you're driving through the mountains of Utah with your kids. I've watched it a dozen times. I've jerked off to all your fights. What? What?

Yeah. I've jerked off to every single. No, I'm saying I've got a horacle on your content. I like the way you move. I'm saying I've watched them all. But I'm a fan of you guys because I don't listen to the podcast that much because I don't have the time. I'm trying to. I'm on Grindr and all that shit.

But I'm saying, but I'm saying that I'm not gay. I'm not fucking gay. You're trying to catch the bug, dude. Yeah, I'm out there bug chasing. You're a bug chase. You're a bug chase. And I'm a bug chaser and I got to go to fucking Banco Popular and all that from my Puerto Rican family. And, and, you're being metaphorical again?

Yeah. And, no, but it's all good. I love the Puerto Rico. So horny. And, um, I mean, Confused. Yeah. And, and, but my point is that I consume your guy stuff.

I'm like, I'm a fan. I know what you guys are doing because I'm watching your social medias. You know, I'm not at the live shows or, and at times, when I do consume your podcast, it's through the clips. Yeah. And I think that's great. That's like what's next. What happens in five years, 10 years?

Well, I wonder what's good. We're all working at subway. We're not going to make it. We're all right. North Korea blew the entire thing up. Yeah. This is it, dude. We've made it to the end.

Made it to the end. You're probably not alive. There's cocaine and sushi everywhere. We did it. This is as good as you get. You're probably not alive. You know what? I'll let you know how it goes.

Yeah. I'll let you know. I feel like I'll live longer. When I see you up there, I'll let you know. Daddy almost got an accident driving back from Manhattan Beach and saw myself a whale. Saw myself a whale. Did you know this? A kind of whale?

Blue whale? I don't know, but I saw this giant whale and I went, and I went, I was on the phone with krill and I go, Bobba, I'm looking at a whale right now. Yeah. I'm 60, though. You've seen some whale. And then it came, and then it came back up, and I almost ran into a fucking divider. Rightfully so, though, man.

Whales are beautiful. Yeah. It should be killed, whales, because they need their oil. And they carry rabies. They carry rabies. Absolutely, I do. I think that, yeah. A fucking whale, a fucking whale, man.

They're all in ISIS, yeah. Yeah, they're cool to see, though. It's really cool to see. It was really wild to see that. It was a hundred feet off. You know, it's nice, but it's like, let's move on. You know, we got fucking VR. and shit.

It's a virtual reality. I can watch. He goes, it's exactly. He goes, yeah, they're not I see. But who cares? I'm on it. I had him with this story. I told him.

And the guy was in Santa Cruz. I've been telling us. You ever tell a story? You've been telling a story since, I don't know, since you were 15. Yeah. And then everything I've said for the past hour. I've been telling this story.

I've been telling this story. I was like this. I was like, and the guy was paddling. And a great white came up, put him in his mouth all the way to his hips and then spit him back out. Now remember, he's dead serious. so I tell me this. I've told the story a thousand times because I heard it from somebody a long time ago. Do I remember who? No.

But it's true. It's true. And Brennan goes, Jesus, that's crazy. And I'm talking and he goes, hey, but that never happened. And I went, what? And he goes, I was like, no, because I was told, you got to do an inventory of the stories you tell. Because we tell stories sometimes and we forget where we heard them and they're true. But they're probably not true.

Yeah, there's like a guy in my neighbor who we call him Showtime. And he tells fucking wild stories. And like, yeah, and then I was telling this story once to my dad. And, you know, this guy was telling the story in the neighbor for 10 years. And I'm like, yeah, Showtime said one time he punched the hole in a wall and behind the wall. He was fucking Mickey Mantle rookie card. And he pulled it out and he has a Mickey Mantle rookie card. And my dad was like, that's not true.

It was like, no, it is. He punched the hole in the wall and there was a Mickey Mantle rookie card behind it. And he's like, no, it's not true. And I'm like, oh, I thought it was. Yeah, I know. Great example. Yeah, it is. Wait.

What? But do you ever think of stories your dad told you? I think the stories my dad's when I was younger and now I'm old I'm like Oh he was full of shit That never happened There's stories my dad told me that were definitely lies But then my mother does not lie

And some of the stories she tells me about my dad I'm like because my dad was nuts He was like a criminal He's alive? He's alive but he was like a fucking He's my dad, he's the kind of guy My dad is old school guy You know like Bronx guy Organized crime type shit

You know in and out of jail when I was a kid You know and he's 75 years old now He's a diabetic He almost died actually the day after Christmas, this guy ate half a tray of lasagna, like four canoles, three cups of coffee, penny vodka, and then, you know, I'm just watching

me, but then I'm like, I got to step in, I'm like, Dad, what are you doing? He goes, I didn't know I had a gay son. And I'm like, okay. Dude, but I also, but also let him do his stink, bro. Let him do his stink, though. And then fucking three hours later, we're in the ER with him and he's gurgling, I'm like, who sounds gay now? He fucking gargling. Oh, that's true? Is that? The jest of heart failure. Yeah. I swear to God.

But my dad used to tell me stories, I'm like, no way, but there's one story, and my mom confirmed it. So my mom, my dad is not a great looking guy. I mean, you honestly, he looks like Barney Rubble. Yeah. So, you know, and my mother's a beautiful woman. She went to an Ivy League school. And, you know, they met at a walk-a-thon. And my mom was walking the walk-a-thon, raising money for like a great cause. And my dad was doing

community service on the side of the walk-a-thon. Prison work release. And they wanted to, she wanted to have like a fling with the bad boy. And they had me. So my mom's kind of stuck with this guy now. And they were at Central Park. My mother's 21 years old when she had me. So they were at Central Park. How old was your dad? My dad, my mother was 21 with you have me and my dad was 38 so my dad yeah he's an older kid now yeah so so they were laying down in central park and my mom was like seven months pregnant she had like a blanket over her and my dad

in the middle of fucking day gets up to take a piss behind a tree in the middle of central park so he's my mom's just sitting there like reading a book and dan acroyd was roller blading by or roller skating by and uh and he started hitting on my mother and my dad chased dan acroid like down a lane at central park with a fucking twig yeah with his piss dick that's the height of famed Dan Aykroy. My mom was like, no, that's true. I was like, what?

Shit, and it's true. Yeah. Yeah. This guy... So did your dad catch him beat the shit out of it? No, no, no, no. You skated away.

Like a cone head. In Florida, in Florida, in Florida, I'm at a strip club with a fucking cop, squat guy and some MMA fighters. They take me. You've got to come to the strip club.

We haven't locked down. How long does this be? I need time reference. Probably, probably, I don't know, six years ago. I don't like strip clubs. But before you met me? No.

I think it was during, It was probably when I met. I knew you. Okay. And I'm doing standard, but it might have been Bobba. It might have been like, I would say right when I met you. Okay. And so I'm there.

And I watch this bouncer, this big fucking bouncer. There's a fight. What color of white, black? Italian. Anymore. Italian. What color eyes? Thick.

What color eyes? Oh, God. This story's made up so blue. He had a shirt on or shirt off? He had a shirt on, hemmed off. Fuck. So he. I watched the dude take this dude, this other guy, big guy, and he puts him in this hold, and his face didn't change. Nothing on his face changed. Right. But it was a violent situation, and he put him in this thing and grabbed him. But he's acting up in the strip club? Yeah. And this bounceer, this bouncer. So these guys are fighting. These guys are about to fight. Okay. Okay. And they lock up. They lock up. I don't know what the fuck it was. Two tables. Okay. Lock up. This guy walks over and I was struck with how easy his face didn't move.

Right. He grabs the guy and they yank him out like that. I get to talk to him because he comes over and he knows one of the guys we're with. Right. And I say to him, we start talking. And I say, you didn't seem to, like your face, that seemed like such order of the day. That was a scary situation. That guy was big.

Right. And it looked rough. And I got nervous. Yeah. And he said, no, violence never gets me going at all. I was raised differently. And I go, do tell. Yeah.

I go, what was your dad? And he goes, well, my dad's in prison for life. my dad was a wise guy right he was a killer right and I go oh and he tells me a story about how you know you talk about stories whether this is true or not

there's the one time I believe him he goes he goes my dad my dad was a wise guy he had a comic book store that was kind of like part of the right yeah and he said I was 12 years old

and I would after school I'd be with my dad in the comic book store right working or whatever and a fucking two guys walked in and my dad

they walked in They walked in, my dad looked in and pulled out a shotgun and shot both of them. One of them, he blew his fucking head off. That never happened. That never happened. So then my dad looked at me and goes, go get a mop. Oh, yeah. Hey, hey. At a comic book store?

Yeah. But they came in to kill him. And he killed those guys. I don't think. Because they were alive. So he said, that was what I remember. That was my child. Right.

And I actually believe that guy. I don't, I don't not believe him. I believed him because he worked in that. One of those mob strip clubs? Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Could he name comic books?

I don't know. I didn't ask him. I didn't grill them on it. I just sometimes you hear a story. I would have some questions, you know? Go get a mob. That's also a scene out of natural born killers, but whatever. Oh, it is.

To each its own. It's a good movie. Yeah, that's a great movie. I believe it. I believe it. That story never happened. I made it up. But the point is, no, that's what it is.

No. No. Hey, but who cares? That's the thing. Reality is a suggestion. It's a suggestion. It's a suggestion. Who cares what the truth is?

I don't know, dude. I mean, it doesn't matter. No, but it does, man. What is? I fucking identify the transgender eskimo. What do you want to say? You can't deny, if I want to do that and go, what are you going to say to me?

That's what I want to fucking do. I want to, I'm an Inuit, I want to live in an igloo, and I want to get sexual reassignment surgery and live in the Canadian fucking... Tell them no. Gender reassignment. It's not sexual harassment. You got to say gender reassignment surgery.

Whatever it is, but I'm just saying I support of that. Those are my fans. Oh, wow. Fancy socks today, B. Yeah, bro. Put your feet in my mouth. What the hell? What are the New York sellers are different, man.

Hey, Brendan, go get a mop. Go get a fucking mom. I'll smell all these shoes right now. I know what one of those? You're good. Should we do some current events? Wait, hold on. Let me ask you guys.

You got UFC fans? Yes. Yes. You got to hold on, hold on. Not big, though. How big? Not big. He's big.

I like it. Yeah. Give me your list of your favorite fighters. I love. What's, um... This is not a good start. It's not a good start. Round the rounding.

Now, go ahead. Who's the guy that beat Mighty Mouse? I like that kid. Hey, with age. Suhudo. I like him. He's a good kid. Yeah, I like him.

I like Dominic Cruz. He's a good fighter. I like him. I like him. I like him. I like him. He's a star. Yeah.

I'll tell you what. I went out one night after a New York Knicks game with, um, Stipe. Stepe. Stepe, the kid from Ohio, right? Yeah. Croatian descent. Right. But he's from Ohio.

right he wasn't drinking but we were getting fucking smashed. I was my boy Paddy Fly Bowls. We were drinking vodka sodas to the head. We must have 12, 15 vodka sodas. I get blackout drunk. I had sex with a famous lesbian chef. I fucking wake up I swear to God dude. I wake up the next day and I see this lesbian chef who I know from TV

what does she look like? Butt naked making pancakes and I'm like did we have sex last night and she goes you bet your ass we did I was like yeah but don't you like women? She was like I cruised for a cock once a year and you were the lucky cock I was like wow. Whoa! threw up all over her floor and she kicked me out. But the only remember having that night is the kid stop, stop pick or whatever.

Steepae. We were fucking around. And I was like doing like, I was trying to punch him in the stomach and he put me in a headlock. And it's like for fun and I was joking around. But I remember for about six months, I couldn't move my head to the right. Dude, I'd love to see this lesbian chef. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you after the show because I have to, you know, I have to sign an 80s.

No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was. No, I can't wait to hear about it. No, I fucking banged. Her name was Guy Fierry. Yeah, her name was Guy Fierry. Yeah, it was a famous lesbian chef. You went to flavor.

Dude, and she made these pancakes that were unbelievable. That's actually the last time in my life. This was two years ago. I was drinking with R. A.S. Chafir was there. Louis J. Gomez, me, Patti Fly Balls. And we were at New York Knicks game and we went to this party after. And then I remember she made these fucking pancakes.

And I, like, wanted to eat them. But I was so drunk and hung over that I just threw up all over her kitchen floor. Never heard from her again. Never heard from her again. I mean, I tried to text her. Get into her restaurants and all that shit. And she was like, no. She was like, it's once a year.

And that's it. But yeah, we have the same haircut. It's kind of like I fucked my brother. But I'm the same ass. And I'm an only child, so I'm not saying if I had a brother, I wouldn't have tried to fuck him or not. And she had a dick on her. She had a dick on her. What UFC requests were you in ass?

Do you, who do you think is going to win this? Is it going to be Donald Seroni or Conner McGregor? I think Cowboy is going to maybe upset him. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even think is that much of an upset. Well, statistically it would be. Yeah.

Why is everyone think he's a three to one underdog? Everyone just thinks he's going to roll over him. Isn't that true? Isn't that weird to you? It's a little bit weird, especially at 170. Yeah. Donald. That boy has lost his last two fights, though.

He has lost his last two fights. Now, Connor hasn't won a fight in three years, though. Right, and I haven't seen, um, am I out of it? I haven't seen any talk, any hype. Nothing. Why is that? I don't know. There's nothing.

It's so weird to me. It's weird, right? The buildup, here's the other thing is the UFC goes, I don't know if they announced it. Maybe Dana did a little bit. He didn't really dive into it, but they go, oh, fastest sellout, team mobile. We sold out in 30 minutes. And even, that was, you know, a few weeks ago, even I was like, God damn, come back.

But they look more into it. a lot of bots, but the tickets are every, you can buy tickets, yeah. Why do you think that is? Why is it like not, I think it has a little bit to do

as Connor, A, hasn't done press, B, the, the, yeah, he doesn't want to fight in three years.

You know, there's a lot that goes into it. Yeah, and I wonder if he might, he might be, yeah, he might be a little nervous about creating a lot of hype

if he loses, no, I don't think he's nervous. I just think he's, if you saw his interview, a great interview with Iro Juwani, you see his interview,

he's dialed, He's dialed in. If you're a Connor fan, like, oh. Yeah, he said he hasn't had a drink in like months, three, four months. Which I was like, all right. If Donald sticks to the game plan, kick, front kicks him, I would front kick him and kick his legs. Did you ever, Brendan, when you were fighting,

did you ever like, two questions? One, did you ever go into a fight, like, the fights, the arena and you had to poop or pee pee? Every fight. And two, do you ever get kicked in the face and what really knocked out was the smell of the guy's foot? now those are legit questions because I know people ask you all these

what's like I know that you're fearless and a maniac and nuts and you have mental health issues because you're fighting in a fucking octagon like that I know that's true but I want to know what guys he does it does it do a poop or a pee I think every time you know when you get nervous you have to pee so every fight you have to pee

yeah just block it out and I know and I know like people have asked you like you have a roll around a guy get like attracted to a guy because that would be my thing no I'm not trying to even be funny my thing would be fighting with a guy like that especially a handsome guy like if you were my opponent I would train and I'd be like I want to kill you

but then if we're nestling up like that and especially if you catch me with a kick you know to a certain part of my body and I get an erection how was that Oh man! How is that going to look on national? Hold on. Chris, hold on. Dude, I'm not.

Chris, Brett knows I'm not gay but you get fucking with me, man. But Chris, if you get kicked in the ribs, are you in getting kicked around, bro? No, I'm not getting it. I'm not getting it right now. Brendan, I like it right. I'm not looking at me in the eye.

I'm not in. You're supposed to know what happens. I'm not into getting kicked. around I'm into starting monogamous relationships with men. That doesn't make me a homosexual. I can't. I feel like you're being metaphorical, but I'm super confused. All I want to do is get a fucking mortgage with you, man.

Fuck, man. I don't know what that means. Come over for the holiday. Come on. Fucking holiday. You're really. I'll jerk off to shop, bro. Oh, you're fucking really good looking.

I'm warning you. No, but I just want to know, you know. Yeah, I wouldn't know the answer to that question. Do you guys have to do you guys ever smell? You wouldn't be able to fight Luke Rout cold then. Where's your money on this? Where's your money on this? your money on this fight?

You know I love Donald. I love Donald. But if Cahua, but if Cironi comes correct, I mean if Connor comes correct, you should. Really? You think Connor's okay at 170? Like being, like, fighting? I think so, because Seroni's not a huge 170.

You know, he's not like a Darren Taylor, or a Woodley or one of those monsters. Like, Seroni, real weight was 55. His success was at 55, he's good at 70, but they're both tweeners. So it makes for Connors come back, fight, fighting, it makes all the sense of the world. Right.

I love Donald and Don's a personal friend. I just want him to get paid. Yeah. I just want him to get paid. Right. Because even if he wins, there's not a lot left for him. Right. Just get paid.

Yeah. For the sport, it's probably better if Connor wins. Way better. For the UFC, for his business, it's way better. Yeah, he only beats, like, little or guys. Who's that? Connor. Like, he never, he didn't be made the second time.

He did beat him, but, I mean, it was like, it could have kind of got. If there was like a little more time on the clock, he could have got choked out of the floor. Eddie Alvers is a thick dude. Chadman is a thick dude. Chad's small, but... Yummy, yummy. Thick as fuck.

Yeah. I said yummy yummy, yummy because I was... Dustin's... Dustin's 185 when he's walking out. Max Holloway's not small. Are there any gay UFC fighters that are out? That came out. There was a few female lesbians.

By few, I mean, all. But not many of the chefs? I'm just kidding. What's a chef, too? Flat ass. I'll go to current events. we guys got. All right. Now, do you consider yourself a black sheep,

misfit, screwball? Here's the thing about us. No, I don't. Well, here's the thing, bro. We're comics on the outside looking in. Guess what? Dude, we're like the screwball whiskey of society, aren't we? Yeah. Because I like to mix peanut butter. This is what I was doing before I heard of screwball whiskey. I was taking

spoonfuls of peanut butter and shove my mouth and then wash down whiskey. And I thought, I do the same thing. Why don't they mix them? And now they do. And now they do. And now. They do peanut butter whiskey, no matter how many times to say it. It sounds like an oddball combination, but let me tell you something right now. It's fantastic.

Do you talk about savory, creamy with a touch of sweetness without the, it's not heavy. I know you guys are just thinking, oh, peanut butter whiskey heavy. Wrong. Screwball stands alone. Tastes amazing all by itself. Put on the rocks like I do. I'm a psycho every day when I do sets. Or screwball can also just elevate any drink in your life.

Screwball is delicious. Pour it over your coffee. Or a big scoop of vinegar. How about this? I'll do you one better. What? You get a little scoop of vanilla? Yeah. Dump it all over.

For an adult ice cream. Yeah, bro. For an adult ice cream. Yeah, man. They won awards. Screwball is the original most awarded peanut butter whiskey, and it's available everywhere. Dang, there everywhere. It's 70 proof screwball peanut butter whiskey is the perfect shot or the perfect addition to your favorite cocktail.

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Everyone's like, I don't know what to do with it. Oh, man, is it good? Is this really what's in there? There's a lot of science that says it's very good. There's a lot of science that's very good. We know that. But then it's also the Wild Wild West. And some people say, you don't know what you're getting.

No, you don't know. But you do know when you get pure spectrum CBD oil, bro. You do know. And if you want the most. Pure, organic. You want what Olympians are taking? I'm talking about your US of A team. UFC guys?

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Kids, whatever you want. Pure Spectrum. CBD.com. Promocode shop 10% off. Get the best CBD on the planet. The most purest, the most organic. the most real. Pure SpectrumcbD.com. Real. Here you go. What happened? What's going on in the, yeah. So a woman is currently suing American

Airlines because last year there was a worker who found her bag, got her phone number from the little tag, and started texting her before and during the flight. He ended up getting arrested as soon as they landed in Chicago. And she tried to stay silent about the whole thing, but she finally got a lawyer. And now they're suing because he did this to a couple other women. It's interesting. It's It's interesting that that happens and it sucks that happened, but two weeks ago, I went to Best Buy and I bought something for my TV and I used my credit card and my information was saved and the girl behind the register at Best Buy started texting me about three hours later telling me that she thought I was hot and if I wanted to hang out and she was like, I can come over. I have your address. Was she hot? She was, you know, she's like a young, hot enough girl, but I was like, it freaked me out. I was just like, wow, if this was, if I did that to her.

I'd be on, I'd be on fucking headlines right now. Was she a hot chick? She was a hot chick. How would it? Come on over, dude. I know. I fucking text her. I was like, you have a hot brother.

Cut some bucks. Oh, no. That's what I have turned out. I knew it, dude. Chris, I don't know, man. And she said no, so I said, he's not gay. He's not gay. It is the fucking.

Barking up the wrong tree. The rolls are fucking wild. The roll reversals was wild. But I mean, this is a creepy fucking dude. You can't do that. But I mean, also, it's like, there was no physical contact. Like, what is the lawyer going to do? It's like,

Didn't a girl give you her number on a, by Grumming Guy. Didn't he give you a number on a flight? I'm serious? A Southwest flight. I was, watch this. And she was digging it. I look good. I look, my eyes are long?

Yeah. She liked the neck. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. You like that neck. Don't say anything about my. She liked your Tommy Lee Jones neck.

I have a nice neck. You got a good neck. And that's good skin on my neck. It's not droopy. It's not droopy. It's not droopy. neck looks like a slinky which is a fucking bullshit thing. It kind of does. It looks like a wizard. Hey.

Yeah, but it's good. I got a good neck. Now listen. She gave me her number. I was like, I was so flattered I couldn't take it. And much younger than. Oh, you denied her? The kid still has it. What's age with a number, B? No, I was just impressed. Yeah. I was like, fucking made my day. It didn't creep you out, though, did it? No, keep creep me out. There's nothing a woman could do to creep me out.

I had a woman got drunk and sat next to me when the other guy got out and she was a big gal, older, and drunk. runk of shit and had been drinking tomato juice. Yeah. And her breath smelled like tomato juice. If I'm being honest, the only thing about a woman that's ever really creep me out is when they have vaginas.

That's it. Oh, man. Oh, no. Chris. Brian, if you fucking think I'm gay, it's going to start to be like, I'm going to call my lawyer. I'm not saying you're gay. I'm just saying that. No, because don't spread that shit because I fucking have a family, man.

I know that, dude. You're being super confusing. Man, your metaphors are amazing. Okay, so Tyson Fury says that leading up to the fight, he is actively masturbating about seven times a day in order to get his testosterone levels high enough. Wow. Wow. That's science. But I thought that testosterone would be coming out if you're jerking off.

Am I wrong on that? It would be that. No, no, no, no. That feels like bro science. Well, no, the bro science is not coming. That's all. So when old school boxes and fighters, UFC fighters, you think this too, when they think not having sex, the same. their testosterone and make sure they're aggressive.

That's not true. Because when you're not busting nuts, your testosterone goes, we're good, fellas, let's shut down. He's not using us. Got it. So it lowers your testosterone. So you want to be busting. I know a few fighters who bust nuts the day up.

Would you have sexual intercourse before the fight? I'm good whenever. You'd have during the fight. Sure. Why not? It's a sweaty. Yeah, it's no loop. Yeah.

Hold on. That's what I'd be thinking about. What? Oh, I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Chris. Is this him saying he's going to do it? I think how to do it?

I think. He's a wild-looking guy. He's being fun. He's awesome. Yeah. And I'm willing to try it. Why not? Sighted for this fight.

Again, not a lot of hype. I know. Seven times. He's being testosterone. Oh, he's being silly. Pimp up. He's being silly. Don't you know.

I'm being up. Yeah, listen. I've got to keep, I've got it. Seven times. You ever done it seven times? No. Seven times. No, I jerked off four times on Monday.

Four is my record. Where's my record? Because I'm in a hotel. When you're in a hotel, he's just starting to jerking off. You got nothing to do. I got nothing to do. I put the water on.

I listen to a little Whitney. You start checking off. Or in immersion tanks. Or in immersion tanks. We do that. We do that. This kid's put his dick in an icy hot tub. I did do that once.

Yeah. Like Vasily, you know, the ice case. Yeah. It burns, man. I was just curious. I was a teenager. It wasn't a good movie. We did the immersion tank.

He comes out like this. The float tank. What's the float tank? What's the float? You go and you go and you float. You go and you float. He's all giggled. I'm like, what's up?

He goes, Mm-hmm. He jerked off in the phone. I was like, I sure didn't, but everybody else does. Yeah, I never get a filter system, though, so take it easy. I'm never getting in a lot. I did bust a fat-loaded one of those float tanks. Christ, man.

Well, your butt naked, it's warm water. And the warm water just splat. And you're something exotic about it. And then you're shaking everywhere. I'm like, I can't relax. What's this? Really? And you're definitely a kid that you shoot fucking ropes.

Oh, I don't remember. How are you? How are you? I don't know. But I'm saying if I know this kid's got a fucking healthy prostate that's shooting ropes. Yeah, all right. Maybe white worms, but ropes. For sure, man.

Whatever it is, man. Yeah, I can't do those tanks. Maybe I'm a little older. I try it now, you know? Yeah. How old are you? That was years ago. 36.

Good age, man. We're the same. Old, old, old. Yeah, we're two old kids. I'm old. I'm old. I'm a 40. Wow.

Wow. You look fucking good. You look good. You're gilf sick. you're here you're sick yeah yeah

yeah I'm gonna kiss every little crease on that face well you'll be here all day we'll be here all day guys guys

seriously don't say that man you let me down I was so excited and then you fucking no it's natural it's not

I don't think I'm fucking that young you are no you're young you're young you're young and cool and everything yeah

give it cool yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, it's so stupid. This is so stupid. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's just your natural resting face, too. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Yeah. How about Yala says the least wrinkles out of anybody. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow, good. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. This is so sweet. This is so stupid. But stop.

Get up my face. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You honest, I feel like you have the least wrinkles out of any of us here, though.

Yeah. Griecoly. He goes hal and most. Let's be real. You got some shoulders and arm on you. Let's lose the shirt. Thanks. You want to lose your shirt?

You got a hair. It's a little bit of yogurt with hair in it when the shirt comes off. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's gross. Yeah. You guys are New York bodies.

Yeah, we do. We get things accomplished. It's like Pizki sauce. It's gross. So me. With hair in it tonight. All right. We're on a show together tonight.

Where? Laugh factor. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. So we're going if you want to get there a little early. Have you ever felt more disrespected on a podcast? Jesus.

He believes nothing you say. He's accused you being gay like a hundred times. I know. I mean, it's like a little. But it's what I fucking deal with in my life. I feel unwelcome. I mean, it's like. No, I'm not right.

I can feel of attention too. It's not right. No. I believe you. He's been honest with you. All he's telling you. The only thing I think. Since you walked in.

Yeah. Since you walked in. Yeah. Did you want to even skeptical of everything that's come out of his mouth? Can I formally apologize? Let me clarify. Yeah, please do. So, first of all, I'm sorry that I gave you that impression.

That's fair. The only thing I think is that I think I believe that you're a straight guy, of course. I'm 100%. But I do believe you fuck guys. Is that fair? Is that fair? So you're going to tell me. So, right.

So last night, last night, I'll fucking be 100% honest with you. Last night, I was on Santa Monica Boulevard and I brought a thumb with me. Well, see? No, no, no, listen to me. I brought a thong, and I pull my pants out a little bit, and I have the thong, and I'm showing people as they're going to the intersection. I'm trying to wave people off the side of the road, because I want to pee on some guys back. And I want to do that.

Big deal. And I got yon is filming it because just in case it's something that I like to jerk off. View, whatever. It's got to be a man specifically a straight man that's maybe coming home from work, and I just don't want to tell his family about it. And I want to just have, like, a little thing. That's different. If you were wearing a crop top, then we have an issue.

I'm telling you, I'm wearing a thong. You're on the same page now. I'm wearing a thong, but I'm wearing a Yankee sweatshirt. Okay. Okay. You can't be getting a roof of the Yankees. No, I couldn't agree more. Absolutely, man.

If you got exeter or anything like that and you want to hang out later. Where are you guys staying? I'm staying at the hotel. I'm staying at a hotel in West Hollywood. Staying in my place. Yeah. A hundred percent. I'm going to sniff your feet tonight.

Yeah, that's what's going to happen. You're a big kid. We're going to fucking wrestle. Because your baseball ain't no good here. I've worked against my jits. I got a fucking bat. Yeah, he's got a bat. I got a bat.

Yeah. Weird, man. What else you got, cat? You Puritan. Yeah. Okay, so yesterday at LAX, there was a flight taking off to Shanghai in about 24 minutes out. They said that there was some engine failure. So they turned around.

Yeah. And as they were getting back to LAX, they started to drop jet fuel, and it happened to hit over an elementary school. Jesus Christ. Hose those kids down. Yeah. What can you do? Yeah, what are you going to turn a teenage reading engine? Yeah, that's not good.

You know, that's, yeah. Might be a bunch of little Elon must now, you know? Yeah. It's there for having a school close to the airport. Is that a private school or a public school? That's what I say. I think it's public school. There you go.

There you go. Yeah, right. Public school, yeah. Yeah. Public school kids are the ones who always get fucked. Yeah. And I'm sure it wasn't, and I'm sure it wasn't a white neighborhood, right?

I'm sure it was a fucking... Well, look at it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the next thing, you know, ICE is coming over.

Yeah. Yeah. Was it Spirit Airlines that that happened? No, it was a Chinese airline. It's always the damn Chinese. Yeah. He means that affectionately. I mean, I was just kidding around.

I just, no, he's just, yeah, we got trans fans. You've said that a lot. The emails just say, thank you. Yeah, no, no, I'm kidding around. That sucks with the jet, with the Jeff feel for fucking. They can just dump it wherever? Why wouldn't, I had to be sure, but why wouldn't they go over the ocean and dump it?

They probably could. They said that they needed to let go of more weight in order to land the plane properly. And just dump it wherever? For some reason, they decided to dump, like, right before as they were pulling. Sounds like they targeted them a little bit. Wait, we're over in elementary school. Fire. Yeah.

You just started sprinkling, like, all this fucking gas. Wow. That's fucked up. It's not cool. But everybody's okay, surprisingly. Yeah. If everyone's okay, why's the story? I mean, it happens.

Light him on fire the most of the worst. Yeah. Big deal. There's no problem. Yeah. What else you got? It's fucking, though. All right.

So I'm going to play a song. I'm sure you guys probably recognize it. We're not going to be able to use this on there, but I'll play it first. We'll see. Oh, little Duval. All right? You know the song, right? Hell yeah.

He does it. He does it. Shake it, wrinkles. Get your dick out. What? Hey. No. Chris, no.

Chris? No, no. No. Come on, man. Come on, man. Dude, that's... What about this, though, Chin? Ah, man.

You know this song. Yeah, we know the song. The artist's name is Young Jock. Yeah. And he was recently caught on camera driving an Uber. And I'll play it. This is the people that recorded him. Oh, come on, man.

The hustle's real, dude. You sound like somebody I know. Oh, God. Why are they trying to out of, man? Yeah, just leave him alone. I don't know. What's her name? It's okay if I call her a bitch.

She's being a bitch. Is that a guy? She's a cunt. Oh, it's a woman? It's like the people that made fun of the guy working at at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. From the Cosby Show? Yeah, I mean. Whatever.

off or something like oh come see so they're saying that so they found out his young jock and oh he must have fell off he's actually they're actually saying it to him behind his back in the car right that's so fucked up fucked up that's tell me he took him out and beat the shit up no no no he's actually been he was super nice and calm and cordial but turns out so he's he does something like big brothers and sisters of uh i think Atlanta so he's trying to show the kids to make an honest living it's not going to be you shouldn't be embarrassed about yeah by the way there's hell yeah good for him by the way maybe rap doesn't pay all the bills and by the way he actually makes good money like he does a bunch of stuff still

He just does this. He does hosting stuff. He's on love and hip hop. Yeah. Love and Hip Hop Atlanta? Oh, fantastic. This makes me love this guy more. Yeah.

I love how that she thought that was going to be a story about adding in it. And now it's just a story about her being a bitch. But we don't know who she is doing. Who is that? Yeah. The fans are figuring out. What's the video say, though, here? This is him just explaining what he was doing.

So he's like, you get the new record, you a new track. No, no. SoundCloud. He's just a good dude. I'm a part of this organization been around for 25 years, big brother, big sister. And a lot of times when we're talking to these kids

and the youth, you've got to lead by example. And sometimes, like, you have to show people you're not too big. You know what I'm saying? You have to show them what humility is and you're not too big to, you know, do the right thing by making the honest living. I think a lot of times that's why our kids

and even adults go straight because they're too ashamed and too prideful, man, to do something. It was one of those things. You know how you just be, you start challenging. you'll still have to do something. You never did it before. So it's kind of like... Yeah, I mean, he needs the money, but yeah,

that's a great deal. He's like... He definitely needs some money. I got caught riding in a new... I'd probably say that too. Yeah, no, no. Are you driving Uber? Nah, no, I'm for the kids.

It's just a bummer, though, that he... No, those people suck. He definitely needs the money to pay the bills, but those people suck. He might. He might. He might. So no shame. You need to pay the bill. The thing is, is those people suck.

They do sucks. She should have... She should have made a video going, good for you. That's what she should have said. Anything. Yeah. Should have anything. Better than be on fucking on.

Selling on. Selling drugs or something. Yeah. So I was, I had to make extra money too for my family. Yeah. Sorry.

He's a radio personality in town appears on love and hip hop and just open a new club. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he's just a hustler. Right.

Yeah. Sad. I mean, he's for sure do like a, look man. I'm karaoke and cars thing. I'm not taking my shoe off. Dude,

no one of fucking thing on. I'm not fucking show. All right, man. Those are nice kicks. Those are really nice kids. What size are you? 13. Oh, no.

I like sneakers, man. He's a sneaker head, dude. He's a sneaker head, bro. What does that cost me to get, who makes a cost to, uh, to smell them? Man, you've ruined this whole podcast. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Was that the last, okay, that'll be the next fucking. Let's do the next fucking. That'll be the last, that'll be the last gay joke. I'm sorry. I'll be in Cleveland, the end of this month, hilarities. Yeah. Antonio Brown throws a bag of dicks,

that baby mama? Yeah. So apparently she's supposed to come by and pick up the kids. And then he's accusing her of trying to take one of his cars to and then this ensued. So we have a video of him throwing dives.

Well, I don't think that the video's actual. Bags of dicks. But he kind of went off. Gummy dicks. Oh, yeah. Oh, shut up.

I'll play a little bit of this. This is from Barstle. Antonio Brown's going crazy. Well, he's got off of cops too. No, you can't blame me. You bitch. Come on you. the fuck out of here.

That's him filming it? Yep. Live on Instagram. Get the fuck out of here, you fucking pussies. Fucking bitch. Oh, that's good to do them for the kid. That's what I'm saying.

It's like, you pussy. Fuck out of here. I love you, poppy. Oh, my God. That's too. Get the fuck out of here.

Wow. So you're talking shit about the police as well. You wish you could take me, you bitch ass, nigga. Fuck out of here. Jesus. Yeah,

get in the back of the police car, fish, bowl. You're leaving with shit. Bitch, get the fuck out of here, you bum ass ho. Wow, this is depressing. So, anyways,

crime of his kids. That's not CT. Dude, he's a great... I think it is C. That's not C.T. That's an asshole. No, he's a fucking moron. That's not C.T.

People are blaming too many things of the C.T. He's just a fucking idiot. He's always been idiot. He's always been idiot. Do you think C.C. made him a diva and unbearable to coach and unbearable to play with him? No, absolutely. He's an asshole.

Calling somebody fishball is funny, though. Yeah, that was funny. That was funny. It's horrible. It's horrible. but I mean, I'm going to call somebody fishball tonight if they had them. Why is fishbowl though?

I didn't get the fishbowl. I don't know. It's just funny when you say random words. He's got a body like if you got a boxy body, a fishbow? Yeah. Like, why don't you fucking watch your mouth fishball? Yeah.

That's funny. Also doing that in front of your fucking two kids. Disgusting. Disgusting, man. Wow. Yeah. It's horrible. Wow.

He says this. He thinks his wife looks like a fish. That's why he called a fishbowl. Right. That fish looking bitch. She got arrested, but then they're yelling at the cop. She got arrested? I don't think she got arrested.

He's selling the cops are bitch-ass pussies. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here's the other thing. Is that allowed? Can the cops arrest you for that? No, they won't be able to.

Especially on his property. I think he's good. I agree. But as soon as his house gets robbed, he thinks he's going to call him, be praying that they come there in time. But then he puts this. Brown also acknowledges that the standoff

isn't the best look for his NFL future, but quote, fuck the NFL. This is real life. Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, great. So good. Let's watch this for a second.

He's past. So he's actually allowed to play at the facilities, the police facilities. And then that was something they worked out, but then now they cut ties with them. Yeah. Because of this. You have to. It's sad. It's sad to watch your guy spiral like this.

Because he's so still good. He still is good. Top three in the league right now. So fast. Look at those. I can't tell by just watching them. No. It's such.

The most bummer thing is doing that in front of his kids. It's brutal. And talking about the cops, too. He's a fucking idiot. See, he ever going to play? again, Brian? I don't think so. I don't think you can. No, who would sign up for that? I don't think you can anymore, you know, because of all this stuff.

This is Stephen A. Smith? I guess he supported him before saying she got a chance at the NFL, but now after this, he's like, no. Let me hear what he is. It's super long? I love Stephen A. Smith. I love, oh my God, I love Stephen A. Smith. I wouldn't let, I wouldn't bring him on my NFL. He can't have him. He's no ability.

Not anymore. He's eloquent. He's got problems. And I want to let every. know that you do understand if you listen to that video, not just watched it. The police officers,

I believe it was in Hollywood, Florida, that's what he said. They showed incredible restraint. He was calling them the B word. He was calling them the N word. He was yelling at them. I mean, they turned their backs.

They walked away. All they did was take the young lady and the kids into the cop car and they drove them off. They did not respond to him. They did not antagonize him. They did nothing. He was screaming at them and calling them all kinds of names. I want everyone out there to understand that the police officers at any given moment could

have turned around and arrested him. You don't get to talk to police officers like that. You don't get to berate them and think that that's not a gun. crime. You could actually get arrested for that. They could have arrested him. They did no such thing. They all walked away. They got into their

cop cars and they drove off. And he was screaming all kinds of obscenities at them. In front of his kids. In front of his he said. They said the exact same shit we just said. I learned nothing. I learned nothing. Nothing. And it's like, that is not good. He was yelling at the cops.

Very cool. Very cool. Alex, you have an original take though? Yeah. Well, there's no original take. I'm not convinced. What are you going to do? Wow, in front of the kids. And I did say, cops will arrest you typically for that, right?

You're being. They can easily do it if they wanted to, for sure. On his property even? Sure. I'm pretty sure if he's being that. But it's also a waste of their time. It is, but they're also like, what are you going to hold them in jail? What do you can do?

That's a little worse for them. Yeah. Yeah. It's more paperwork for them. Like I, yeah. This is strange and this is strange self-saboture. It doesn't seem right. Yeah.

I think I'm not, I'm not. I'm not using any of it as an excuse, but I'm saying like, no, CGAid be considered for an NFL team. It's like his mental health is priority. It's like you're watching a man who's going insane. Yeah. Like he can't even be considering.

But also if the Broncos sign him tomorrow, I'd have an Antonio Brown jersey. Sure. Oh, yeah. Is he, absolutely? He still has a lot of money? Because he missed out on $90 million or something.

Oh, yeah, it's a ton of money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He's about NFL in the league receiver for a long time. I know. Wow.

I would assume he has. You know what? You don't know? You never know how these guys stand. You probably don't make those moves and have a ton of money in the bank. Yeah. I'm saying. I mean,

and don't forget taxes. I don't have a good 401k plan when you make your moves like that. I made $41 million this year. I netted like $20 million. I, how did you make that? Hien is a podcast. Comedy Central.

Comedy Central. Man. That makes sense. Stupid questions. The interstitial show. I told you five minutes every other Friday night. I'm not saying that you're lying about that. I'm not saying you're lying about that.

But I do believe, you fuck up I don't What else you have sex with a condom it doesn't count So Not that one This guy Remember your boy?

His name is David Baker I guess he used to play Of course He used to play basketball Not football What? He never played football Isn't that Edwarder?

It might be From the Dallas Cowboys David Baker is the biggest man Someone showed me this And he's sweating Who is that guy? He's sweating Wow

He's sweating That looks like Brendan Schaub After a shellfish allergy Dude Yeah No, hey, no, that's how he ate the wrong grab. Does your dad look like that? Yeah.

He says he looks like Fred Flintstone. He does, yeah. That is a large man. Dude, he looks like a shaved polar bear. That's why he's sweating out of his goddamn shoes. Jesus Christ. So he's the president of the Football Hall of Fame. Look how sweaty is there.

Sure he played football. I don't think so. Then why would they make him the fucking president? What is he the president of? The Hall of Fame? Oh, okay. He comes over like, congratulations. Nah, he played football.

He had to play football. No? Pro basketball in Switzerland. What is that even? Six foot nine Baker tip scales at nearly 400 pounds. He used to play professional basketball in Switzerland. That's a big boy. Those basketball players, when their body lets loose, they're still six-nine.

They put on some of the LBs. Big, big boys. Nobody blew out like Buster Douglas. You remember the way he blew out after he beat Tyson? Yeah, yeah, big. Andy Ruiz says, hold my tamale. But yeah, I hear you. I love Andy Ruiz.

Do you? I don't know. I'm not in boxing enough. I just watch it from like, I don't know much about the fighting sports, but I just liked after the after when he lost the fight, the most recent fight, they're like, what do you think happened out there? And he was like, I came with 30 pounds. He was like, I really wasn't training.

I ate too much food. So. Yeah. And he was smiling. He was like, Mexico. He like didn't give a lot. Yeah. He was like, yeah.

We're going to do it again, though. This guy's great. And I'll take it serious next time. This guy's great. Want to talk about a fucking bod. Jesus Christ. Anthony Joshua. Holy.

smoke. I fucking go in the saw and I get real nice and wet. Yeah. Got some bugs with him, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure, man. What are you saying that? Because he's black. Oh, no. What do you mean? No, he's Mexican, dude. No, Anthony Joshua were talking. Oh. Because you said bug. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, wow. One more are you good? Give me one more and then we're done. It's not a big deal, but McDonald's is going to start using MSG and apparently this is like a big deal. It probably makes it healthier. I mean, who cares?

No, MSG makes it taste better. But MSG is usually vilified for some reason. I heard it doesn't give you a headache. I heard it's all BS. It somehow came out. And there's even the Miriam Webster Dictionary said it. There's something called CRS, Chinese restaurant syndrome. It's actually in there.

Really? Saying all that stuff. You get dizzy. You get, you know, all that stuff. Like it's supposed to be real. But Pope are, you know, Popeyes, Chick-fil-A, they all use it. Delicious. It's all good.

MSG? So when McDonald says we're listening to our customers, that means people ask for MSG? They're testing it and people like the taste of it better. Yeah. Oh, of course. With Chinese food, American Chinese food, that's like, oh, make sure that doesn't have MSG.

It's a flavor. It's a weird thing. Interesting. Interesting. So wait, is it not bad for you? Is it mono sodium glutamate? Yes. We're like Rick and Morty over here, dude.

I fucking like it, dude. Not bad. This is the best podcast of all times. No, seriously, this is. And the gayest. Yeah. Yeah. Get ready for your numbers too.

Not a mean, bro? Got that burger. That burger was so delicious. No, it's great. Let's go eat a fucking burger, guys. Do you guys want to eat after this? Fuck, yes, I do. Let's get a hotel room.

And then let's go like this and drive fast like this. Have you ever, do you ever just rock out? Yeah. Put on Ted Nugent's strangenhold so I can show you how you rock out. I'd like to see that. I'd like to see this. You can't play the audio. People my age...

Take your pants up, be. People my age understand how to rock out. You fucking idiots don't know. Young dudes don't know how to fucking rock out. Yeah. Hey, take your wig off with you. Oh, put on double live gonzow. Take your wig off.

Hey, B, take your wig off. Take your wig off. Shut up, man. Rock out with the wig off, though. Hey, show me your bottom teeth. Watch this, ready? Uh. Ready?

Slap that. Slap it. Yeah. That was good, though, man. I'm hyped. I'm hyped. Yeah. What the fuck?

Fuck up. Yeah. Hey, B, put your hoodie on, though. Your hair's distracting. Put your hoodie on. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.

Go back. Hold on. Hold on. Stop. Hey, have more stuff in your pockets, though. Yeah. Hell yeah. You're not old at all.

Put more stuff in your pockets like a janitor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There is. Fuck. Yeah. Hey, B, roll your jeans up so they can see your psoriasis. Roll your jeans up. Yeah. This is one from uncomfortably gay to uncomfortably white. Yeah.

Yeah. Hmm. Now it's the longest song in history, but whatever. Keep going. Yeah. Fuck, off. You guys don't appreciate rock. That was good.

Yeah. Anyway. Very nice. A rock, bro. I'll put my fucking knot in my pocket. Yeah, that's 20 bucks. Yeah, dude. Test the kid.

Yeah. Sweet George's stanza wallet. Hey, Cleveland, you guys want to fucking laugh? If you don't want to constantly have and go, this is the best motherfucking show I've ever seen, don't come to Cleveland hilarious July, January, 30, 31st, the first of February. Yeah, boys, get sucked off.

That's a West Palm Beach improv for Valentine's Day. February 14, 15, 60. Fuck, no, I go hard. I'm in San Jose this weekend. How many zeros and a million, guys? Call me when you're serious, you fucking asshole. Yeah, hang up. I'm in San Jose

this weekend two shows Friday two shows Saturday those almost sold out we had a Sunday show one show Sunday night come and get it next week Charlotte

Comedy Zone I think that's a Thursday Friday Saturday then Columbus Ohio January 1st through February 1st San Antonio Ontario

Valentine's Day weekend and then Vancouver JFL comedy festival one show only Vogue Theater Vancouver get your tickets TFATK.com

fellows yeah I got January 24th, Spaceland Ballroom, Hamden, Connecticut. Those tickets are almost sold out. Then I got the Celebrity Theater, Atlantic City, New Jersey. Those tickets are almost sold out. Then I got

February 8th at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. That would need some help. And then we got February 28 to 29th at hilarities in Cleveland. That one also needs some help. Let's go, guys. Let's do it. I'll make a speech. Chrisdecom.com.

Weird? ChrisD.comedy.com slash grinder. What? What? What? Oh, fuck. You're going to say?

Yeah. Check out a special. Before you go, let's say a special on YouTube. Please check out my special. Blowing the light. Yeah, blowing the light on YouTube. I'll be at Gotham Comedy Club February 21st and 22nd.

Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, 28th and 29th of February. Dude, I'm in New York at Gotham, I think, in April. Will you come to our party when you're in? I'm there, dude. And you guys are going to be there, too. Hell yeah, we're coming. Let's do it.

Let's all come. New York. Yeah. Yeah. When is the. When is the. When is the. Man dragon coming?

Huh? You fucks? When the man dragon decides to fly in and fucking... The comedy landscape. You fucking yo-yo's here. Just one that's fucking podcast. Yeah. Chris just if I know is...

I'm out of here. Just the fine kid. Brow... That was fucking nonsense. That was great. Fantastic. That's funny, man. You guys are good.

Holy shit. Oh, my phone died. Fuck.