The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Ep 553 Tim Dillon

Episode Date: April 12, 2026

Tim Dillon is back to discuss what happened with his Keto diet and the guys talk their eating habits during quarantine, crazy insect bites, favorite TLC shows, Tim's love for Asians and Jollibee conspiracy theory, New York mayor's snitch line, Rob Gronkowski traded to the Bucc's, a buff J-Lo lookalike, the guys eat Cat's muffins and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can withstand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. For sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club.

Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Honestownit. studios in Pliya, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live.

That doesn't matter. Sounds better when you see. Live. We're not live. We don't do it live, right? And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. Shut up.

Not live. We're all in prison. I mean, kind of. You know? I mean, kind of, right. It is kind of. And Frank would say, hold my closet. New York, they're in prison. Like, I talk to the New York people. They're, like, in prison. And they're scared. And they're scared. Well, because people are getting it over there, like, a lot. Like, California's got, like, 27,000 cases. We've got, what, 45 million people in the state, you know?

New York's, like, getting. Are we rolling, Chin? We're rolling. New York's on top of each other, though. They have nowhere to escape. I have people there that have not been out of their physical apartment in, like, 30 days. That's so nuts. That's crazy. I go crazy. Dude, crazy. You know who's the MVP of this one? You know who's the MVP of this one? whole Corona shit? Yeah.

The governor of New York. His approval rate is so high. Yeah. He should run for president. He's dealing with serious shit. He's always. Yeah. I don't know.

He's not a friend. They're meatballs. You know, that whole Italian like, yeah, you know, we're going to, it's like, first of all, the guy should have closed New York earlier. Didn't close it. Now everybody's sick. Then he did close it a week later and then he takes credit for closing. It's like.

We can't win in politics. I know. We're giving Trump shit. Why am I? Why do I have to like him? That's my whole thing. Like, why in a crisis, do I have to go? Oh, yeah, this guy's a genius.

I mean, it's like the guy, his brothers in CNN. But, come on. I mean, the whole brother, I don't like, I don't trust Italians to work for the government. That's fair. Italians should be criminals. When they work for the government, it's crazy because it's like they are, by their nature, a criminal race. No, no, no. Yes.

Of course they are. I'm Italian. I'm Sicilian. There's nothing wrong with that. No, but I have to say that you're, what are you saying in their hearts? Like, if you were to examine their heart, they do best. I want you to get very, like be very scientific. At least.

Italians, which is well known. Okay. Italians, God took some of their brain and put it in their penis. Now hold on. The big penises and small brain. This is all well known.

Is this scientific though? This is facts. Okay. It's well known. And I have a lot of Italian friends are good people, but I just don't trust them when they're on the side of the government because I'm like, wait a minute. What politicians do you trust? None.

There you go. Not really any. I just used to think. Here's my whole problem of Cuomo. This is really my whole whole issue of Quomo. I love everybody loves him now. Yeah, I gotta go to, because when everybody loves somebody, it's not that I'm a contrarian, I'm a thinker.

So I'm like, why does everyone love him? I get nervous. Why is everyone loving? He's the governor. You shouldn't love the governor. Right. You should be like, wait a minute, that's a guy that enforces the law. What if he was Irish since you've turned this into a racial thing?

Well, the Irish are meant to be, they were meant to work for the government because they're also not bright, but like Jews and wasps are really smart. Irish people are meant to like work for the government. government or tell stories or play a fiddle. Like Irish people can either tell a funny tale or hit you with a club. Okay. That's the two options for the Irish. So would you have a caste system where depending on your blood,

yes. I just feel like this is very, this seems very third-rightish. I mean, have you seen Como and him and his brother on CNN? And they think they're off here and they're like talking shit. That's when I'm like, but this is the thing.

Why don't these other governors figure out and politicians like, we want to see the real you. You don't like Gavin News to me say as a pussy, but listen, here's the thing. Here's why I like Adam. We're going to be shut down until fucking next year if it's up there. I drive, I walk. I mean, I kind of, like I don't feel shut down. No, me neither.

Yeah, I don't feel shut down, even though that businesses are shut down. But here's a question. On the news today, wasn't there the report that? Wait, which news are you watching? CNN. Oh, no. I know. But it is, but the statistic says, and I don't know if it's true.

Can't watch CNN. That in a month or in two months, the coronavirus killed more people than the flu in a year. True or false. I don't know what, it depends. I don't know what ratings they're going off of. Listen, Florida is the test case. Georgia is the test case. Georgia's opening up restaurants Monday.

So is Denver. So is Texas. So is Ohio. People are going to watch those states. Now listen, hey, I hope there's not a bloodbath. But if there's a bloodbath, people sit back and go, okay. And if those states, it's not that bad, then you'll see the country start to open up. Yeah.

My thing is, I don't know. I don't know that we can afford to do this much longer. no no we can't and also suicides can go through the roof domestic violence no so many issues we can't do that much longer and I also listen I don't know how many people I think maybe maybe if then there's a ton of people that they're like if you look at certain

areas and you're like okay New York is slammed certain areas are slammed then you keep them closed for longer you know see again this is interesting I don't know how this is a website that I'm not even sure about national review right no it's they're right but by the way and I don't want to sound callous here

but thank God like think of it imagine if it didn't like We're in a great, we're almost in a great depression. I know what you mean. Like, you know what I mean? It better be worth it in other words. I mean, the reality is we're, we're, we're, we're, we've, tens of millions of people don't have jobs.

If it, I don't want anyone to die. But if this was a nothing thing, there would be riots and a total melee. Yeah. The other thing that's tricky, again, I hate to be the, the skeptical hippo here. But the other thing with the corona deaths is recently anything that dies, any person that dies, they're chalking up to Corona. So when you talk a lot of these doctors, they don't know exactly. I'm sure that's killing a lot of people.

It's killing a lot of people. I'm sure it's killing a lot of many. See, what spooks people out is every now and then you get a young, healthy person in the hospital on a ventilator. That's always the case with any disease. That's always the case with. That's true. But that's what, because other diseases we've made peace with, this is new. So like, it's new.

We're like, we don't want to die. It says the flu killed 61,000 Americans, 2019, 2018, 2018. University of Washington estimates COVID-19 would most likely kill about 60,000. you got that that that yeah I mean a lot of people I think it's a lot of people but so it's the flu right so we don't shut down the whole the argument is that the flu doesn't double on the flu it doesn't go from 30,000 to 60,000 120s because we keep talking about my I'm gonna slip my fucking I know I know it's it's so bad no one wants to listen to let's talk about it I agree I agree let's get back to your racist ideology

racists are different one of the funniest post he had you go great finally selling fucking tickets and then that's true it was the first year anyone gave a fuck and now it's i just got just shut down i loved your your post my sister my sister sent me your post of uh just making fun of celebrities about the sacrifice well yeah because there's a lot of people that are out now being like it's time to just heal heal your body heal your mind yeah take a breath somebody i was literally like they're leaders like they're the leaders they're leader and she's like take a breath and she goes just be just be i'm like you no one could just be people don't have food They don't have money for rent.

I'm living with three people. Yeah. Meanwhile, they're in their mansion. Just breathe. Just breathe. Schwarzenegger is eating this meal in his sick kitchen with two miniature ponies. Yeah.

Have you seen this? Yeah. It's amazing. They're both. And he goes, guys, stay at home. It's important to stay at home and be safe. I'm just eating my, you know, eat good food. And meanwhile, you're like, come on, dude.

It's so, yeah, it's amazing. Watch this. It's pretty cool. It's too. But those are the greatest. It's the greatest. Is it on his own Instagram account? One thing is that you stay at home.

You do. I bet he hasn't touched those things in years. They hang out with him all the time. He shot them in the head right. Yes. You know. Two years old, after you're 65, you know, the lot of the house anymore in California.

So we stay home and we eat here. We eat here. You got to love this. He's a Terminator shirt on. Yeah. I love this guy. in anyway. I don't care. He's great.

Come on, do it. Good for him, man. But yeah, a lot of these people are like... Who's that, Tim, on the far end there? Hansa Elgort did a naked selfie, so somebody online just put my head on him. I just reposted it. This is, again, how celebrities are helping. It's like, hey, I'm naked in the shower.

Hey, sorry you're eating your grandma, but I'm naked in a shower, and I hope you enjoy that. Sorry, you're eating. By the way, last time we talked, speaking of eating, you were on the keto diet. I was on keto diet. How to go? It was, you know, here. Here's the thing with keto. Here's what I learned very quickly with keto.

The keto diet. What about as good as minded? Well, here's the thing with the keto diet. We've never been sicker. It's very hard to, you know, because I, I, because what happens is you start making little, you start making little adjustments. Sure. And they become large.

They turn into boulders. They turn into real problems. Turns into a real issue. When did you first start cheating? Cetchup. So ketchup just started. So I just started. So I just started like...

A ton of sugar and ketchup. Right. So I was like, I could just have a cheeseburger, but what if I just use a little, like, I literally I started. I swear to God, just being like a little like, I would just... Dash. Dash. Now, when you say cheeseburger, you're not having the bun, right? No, no, no.

It's a burger with cheese. I'm not an idiot. Oh, I don't know. So when I was doing it, I was really trying. Yeah. And then I, the little ketchup. And then when you have a little ketchup, you're like, something awakens in you. Yeah.

Something awakens. Oh, you mean your bon awakens. We like this. Yeah, the demon awakens. And it's like, hey, I bet you could have a dash of something else. I'm like, I bet you're right. And then you start, because on the keto, it's like, how many carbs a day you're supposed to have? Like, it's like, it's a very low number, but it's like a certain amount of time.

20 or last or something. 20 or last, right? Which is so hard. It's like nothing. It's like a bite of a cracker. But in your head, you're like, I can have a little taste of a lot of different things. And it's 20 or less. I started chewing things and then spin it out.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I would be like, oh, dark chocolate's okay, because it says it's okay. You can't have a whole bar of dark dark. Correct. But I would. Correct. So you have to have a tiny little bite right before you go to bed or something because

that's what keeps your thing going on that. And then I would just be like, I would just have a bar and just kind of bite it. But you know what else I found with keto is I found myself eating way more calories than I was eating on a regular diet. But I'm like, oh, it's keto. So it's all fat and protein. But still 10,000 calories is 10,000 calories. I got to just stay away from carbs and sugar.

10,000 calories, 10,000 calories. I got to stay away from carbs and sugar just for the, most part because like that's my problem. My problem is sugar. That's everybody's problem. Yeah, but they say calories have different hormonal effects on your body. They do for sure. But if you're eating a shitload of, I don't care what diet you eat a lot of calories.

If you eat a lot of calories, you're not burning it. It's a problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the keto thing with me is they're like, you can eat cheese so it got a little ridiculous. Oh, dude. Got a little ridiculous.

It got a little absurd. Yeah. I was eating cheeses that don't even go together. Me too. I was eating like cheddar and fresh mozzarella and three. I was just like, I was like, this isn't. even real. But you know, I watched Anthony Bourdain and he had one of his no reservations on Sardinia. Yeah. So Sardinia is an island off of Italy and they live, it's one of the

blues zones. They live forever. They live literally like 120 years. If you see the way they eat, they in, what were they eating? Oh, I don't know. Um, fucking sausage. Every meal. Right. Big wheels of cheese, bread, wine. Yeah. Really? A shit load of meat. A shitload of me. Dude, they make their feta right there. I mean, everything comes from right there in their garden. That's the problem, dude. I got so hungry watching it.

Meanwhile, they're eating, they're eating so much of the things they tell you not to eat and they live to a hungry place. What's the answer? Eventually, I want to slam my dick in a goddamn door. And they're all fat. They're all heavy.

And they still live. They're all big. They're all fat. They're all farmers. Oh, I thought you're saying they're like shredded. No. They're just built to be fat and then die.

But they live forever. They live forever. They live 20. They don't look great. But at the same time they live Dude I started eating those zucchini noodles Yeah Yeah

But then so then they go Reo's bummer They go Reo sauce has no carbs Or no sugar No added sugar Right? And it's really good And it's really good It's all right So it's like I was like okay

What if I were to drink it? Like what happens is you start You start using So much Like copious and I go to Bristol Farms They come out with nine Rayo sauce It's like What do you do?

Are you like You own a catering company? I started ODing on a buffalo cauliflower and then a pine nuts. Yeah. Pine nuts. Oh, I eat bags of pine nuts. You know how many calories and just one cup of pine nuts?

A lot, right? It's like 800. But I eat an entire bag. A lot of fat, too. The quarantine is a lot of people getting depressed and it's easy to eat when you're depressed. And when you're bored. And when you're bored. Yeah.

So I'm now trying to eat better because I'm like, I could really fall into a problem here. Being in the quarantine and like just. It's like you and me have the same inner deeming. Well, it's just, it's just, I like. to be on the go. I like to be moving. I like, dude, I was like free. I, you know, I could, you know, three months ago or two months ago, whenever I wanted, I could just, whenever I got bored, I could kind of, I was always on the road, but I could fly anywhere I want. I go to New York, go to Vegas, go anywhere, do a little stand-up, do whatever. Now it's like, now it's all taken away and you're like,

fuck. But your podcasts are booming. Your podcast is going to doing well. Booming. Great. But I mean lifestyle-wise. I want to be, no, listen, and I thank God about that because I know a lot of other people that are like, you know, they're in trouble. They're trying to start a podcast. Like now during the quarantine? Yeah, they're trying to start one or they're like, oh, let me finally, let me see what this podcast is. Let me put work into this podcast and that's 9,700 episodes no one's listened to.

It's got four ratings in 10,000 episodes. Let me really start focusing. I know. Well, the best underwear, period, are Miondi's and here's why. They last. I've had all different kinds of underwear, named the brand, and they never last. meandis, I don't know what they do with that fabric. I don't know what it is, but they last

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I don't even feel it. They're the best. They're the best. They're so comfortable. I sleep in them. I read my bike in them. I swim in them. Yeah.

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Yes. And then it's been hot this week. Yeah, that makes you feel great. I love the heat. See, I work so much to the day. By the time of it tonight, I'm pretty chill. Yeah. That's the whole move because night is where the anxiety comes.

Yes. But not if you exhaust yourself. No, you have to be exhausted. Yeah, have to be exhausted. I've been working out twice a fucking day and I get so tired. And I find myself needing at least eight and a half hours of sleep. Yeah, you sleep more now. Especially when I drink that much.

But here's the other thing. We're probably all healthier now because we're not on a plane all the time. That's what I'm saying with Rogan. Like, I've never felt better. Physically, I've never felt better. I'm getting rest. I don't, you know, I'm not staying out late. I'm not.

The only time I drink is when we do podcasts about three times a week. But other than that. Yeah. It was literally six nights a week. The air is clean as fuck. Do you think when they open shit up, did people run back out or are people like, yeah, tiptoe out? I'm running back out. I think they, well, I'm going to run back out.

But I think looking at society, it's going to me a slow drizzle. Now, I was showing Spokane, end of June. Yeah. That thing's booming. That thing's selling. Yeah. We were always a little dicey. That thing's booming.

Spokane's a good town. It's a meth town. But also, Washington is a meth and heroin town. It's a meth and heroin town. Which I celebrate. But Washington was hit first. They're ahead of the curve. First time I was in Spokane.

I was flying in to Spokane. I'm coming. I know. I told everyone's all excited. And I started to look at the hills and it's kind of pretty. And, you know, it's the Washington forest, all the bullshit. And then you start, as you guys at planes landing, you start to get closer. You start to see, like, microwaves and refrigerators, like strewn on the side of this mountain.

And you start to see little encampments of people. And they're like, yeah, that's meth town. Like, people just live on the hill. I love it there, though, man. No, it's great. It's what needs to happen. It's a good room, too. in their green room's the best with all the candy and then the sannie s yeah yeah that's great that's

right they had the video game so they own spokane then they own the new one that just opened up in oklahoma bricktown comedy club and they own one more i forget where but the it'll be interesting to see if we are if they're if they're going to allow that to go down in june i hope they and are they going to my show yeah oh it's going down and are you going to wear masks it's up to washington state right yeah i know yeah but talking to the owners and And they're talking to the state official. Sounds like it should be a good... Let me ask you a question.

Georgia opens up Monday. Could you go down in the Atlanta punchline and do a show on Tuesday if you... I would. I'm just wondering if we'd be allowed because restaurants open up, but I don't know when comedy opens up. Can you get a plane there though?

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you get to fly anywhere. You can fly anywhere now. You're just going to be the only... The biggest issue is... The biggest issue is legal. So for now for productions, right? Yeah.

So Frank was talking about this. When you are a producer and you're going to do movies. Yeah. In a lot of countries, see, the United States, we sue. We sue. In fucking other countries, they're like, we're ready to rock and roll here. Right.

But in the United States, you're dealing with lawyers who suck a dick. And so what happens is, and the Disney's dealing with this and everybody else. Well, how do you open up when, if somebody gets sick and give it to their grandmother and their grandma dies, it's a wrongful death suit? They're going to ship. That's so much fucking money. It's a litigious. Think about Carnival Cruises.

Like they're looking at 12 wrongful deaths. You're going to have to sign a thing. So whatever's sign. But also cruises should go away, though, you know? It's probably for the best. When people walk into your show, I would be surprised if they don't have to sign a thing that absolve. You're going to have to have that. And I bet you my fans would be willing to.

Yeah. Anybody that's going to walk in and, you know, you sign it and it is what it is. But for actors on a set, so we're talking about this for school when it comes back. Well, it's, there's a way. to do it. We're going to have to create our way out of it. So the crew's going to be a skeleton crew, only the people that have to be there. Right. They'll be in masks and gloves. And then the

actors have to have a test pretty much from what I'm hearing. Every day. It may be that we have to get our, you know, finger pricked every day or swabbed every day. It's not. But it's just what's going to, it's going to be the new normal for a while. Now the question is in a year. The draft is on

Thursday, you fucked. Yeah. You're a football fan, Tim, at all? Yeah, a little bit. Not crazy. But they said, you know, A lot of people, I don't know, man. What? A lot of people are saying sports aren't happening. A lot of people are fucking idiots. I, because baseball's going to go down in Arizona.

I love Brennan. Because Brennan is like, I mean, listen, I hope you're right. Listen, I'm not, I hope you're right. God's on myself. I'm just hearing a lot of, and I know that we're all hearing a lot of things that are far bleaker than your pictures. I hope you're right. I'm saying sports come back, but I'm not saying there's going to be a crowd there.

They're going to come back and get it done. Oh, okay. Well, then, yeah. Well, then we, yeah. Yeah, I'm talking about the people in the stands. It's going to take a little while. Well, they're not going to let them. I mean.

Not for a while. Yeah. Not until we. But football, I think, it's going to be okay. When does the next time somebody feels comfortable sitting in the original room of the comedy story next to a stranger who they don't know, breathing next to them for an hour? That's the question. By June? By June, July.

Really? I bet I bet by July. I mean, listen. Because I think May. Your mouth to God's years. I hope there's a vaccine and when that's a big. That's a big. That's a big.

That's a big. years maybe. Okay, but then when they have treatments that actually work and apparently antivirals at work, yeah. Yeah, this hydrochloric quinine is that. That's helping a little. Remdesivir is a good one at a Gilead. I bought a little bit of that. Come on. And, uh, you know the fucking name of the

yeah, well, I just bought some of these boys. I have the hydro stuff. I have the hydro in the Z pack. But didn't that? I heard that doesn't work. It works on some people. It works on some people. Some people. Some people, you know, nobody knows anything about this fucking thing. Nobody knows anything about this fucking thing. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Look at Chin.

He's terrified. Yeah. That's smart. Terrified for you guys. Yeah. For you. Remember. Right.

All right, dude. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm going to. I don't know. I think things are, I think it may, things are slowly start to come back. I don't think this. The antibody tests are real.

I think they're fake. The ones we took? Yeah. How dare you? Let me tell you why. Let me tell you why. You have to set you up with that because. No, no, no.

Here's why. Tim's a bit of a health professional. I am a virologist. I'm an immunologist. And an irisologist. I'm an epidemiologist. You know how many people are mad right now? I worked on Ebola.

I worked on Ebola under the Obama. I didn't know that. Good job. Yeah. Were you on the N1N1 too? I was on H1N1. There you go. Thank you.

I was on, which is swine flu. Yeah. I did a lot of, I did a lot of work on SARS 1. Wow. Good work on all that, by the way. So please keep talking. Well, the reality is, I forget what I was saying. You're going to say that everybody tests is bullshit.

The anybody, here's why it's bullshit. Everybody that goes to Rogues is. fucking things negative, by the way. You don't think that motherfucker is just putting money in his pocket. He's like, another negative one, Joe. I mean, come on. Not one person gets a positive. Well, nobody at Rogan Studios had a positive.

It's very interesting. Well, everybody's negative. It also showed you. None of us have it, though. Maybe none of us had it. It's not that prevalent. Yeah, probably didn't hit California. I was just hoping I had, I had the antibodies.

I was hoping to Woon and do a video eating a bat. Try to go viral. That would have gotten viral. Yeah, real viral. Can you get it again? No, maybe everyone's like, maybe you get it again. So she's eating the bat.

I don't know, man. I'm just, I like going to someone's house now because I forget that this is a thing. When I'm in public and I see the masks, I'm like, oh, fuck, we're in trouble. I can't stand. When I go to somebody's backyard, somebody's grilling a steak, I'm like, oh, everything's fine. Yeah. It's 90 degrees. Everything's fine.

Have you been around when you're not wearing a mask? Like, I just walked at the street? Oh, dude. People look at you. Oh, dude. People are looking at me? I want to be like, what the fuck you're looking at, dude? I work up the street, man.

I've been tested, too. Do you get freaked out at the gas stations a little? Never. With the nut. I just sanitize right after I touched the... I wash my hands. Yeah. You know?

I have to say, it's so interesting how personality is like, I see a guy walking and he's with his girl and he's kind of like, he's just kind of like a bit like with stoop posture. And he's wearing a mask. And this was before we were supposed to wear masks. And I was walking with a friend of mine and I go, you want to kick him in the nuts. Look at this bitch. Yeah. Like I'm such a.

take about it. And I'm not, I'm not, I think we should wear masks, obviously, if the CDC says we should inside. I get it. Did you see that one video? Fuck. Which one? See the video I sent it to you where, uh, it's before a press conference and, uh, someone in Trump's, uh, said we've all been vaccinated. Yeah. I mean, they were that weird. He was like, he was like, oh, no, how about when he goes, you don't need to wear mask. Mortality rates point.01. We're fine. I love that. I love that. I don't think he's joking. Who knows, dude. It's weird because like, listen, then you hear about some fitness trainer who's 37 who died and you're like, what? But I guess that's everybody.

Again, you're always going to get that with everything. You're going to get that with aspirin. Aspen kills. How many people say aspirin a year? Check this out. That's high. 35,000. Aspirin. I just took two today. 35,000 people here. Watch this. Watch how many people die. Are you worldwide? A year in this country. I don't know if that's in this country, but

calm down. Three thousand. Calm down. I said. I said, seven people say 35,000. And then this is the problem is when you're spreading rumors. Fucking bro science. I just hope they get a good antiviral that keeps people out of the hospital

because that changes in everything. Oh, that's going to be money. Damn, tobacco kills 4,000 and 30,000 people a year. It's called cancer. And it's fucking worth it. Alcohol, 110,000. Prescription drugs, 32,000. Oh, okay, that's right, man.

So prescription drugs. That's what I meant. When you see somebody over a certain age really enjoying a cigarette, you're like, oh, this motherfucker has made their, they're like, they don't want another way. Nope. Like somebody that's really older just going at it,

You're like, oh, yeah, you're not turning this around. My grandpa died of lung cancer because they were chain smokers, right? English, so it smoked nonstop in the house. I drove around smoke, definitely going to die for it. But they smoke nonstop. I remember my grandpa was on, he was on oxygen. They told me he cannot smoke, I'll die. And they said, you can't smoke in the house.

My grandma would be next to them, just, they didn't give a fuck. Still smoking. Sure. Still smoking. Sure. That's how bad that addiction is. It's a very bad addiction. My buddy picked it back up.

I used to smoke when I was younger. I smoked for about six, seven years on and all. And then like every now and then now I won't do it. Every now and then I would have a cigarette in the comedy store parking lot. But I would never buy a pack or anything. But now I won't do it because the respiratory fire it. Like now I won't do it. In England and...

But I got to a point. People like, oh, you can't have a cigarette every now and then. It's like you can. No, you can. My buddy, Jerry started smoking again at 55. Yeah. He started smoking. He's overweight.

And I go, what are you doing? He goes, yeah, I know. I haven't smoked in 15 years. And in those 15 years, not a day. Not a day. Not a day. Didn't I think about smoking. Dude, you know what's interesting? Well, it's not that it takes over your head, but like I saw somebody smoking on Santa Monica Boulevard, and I'm driving and I'm looking at them and I go, you know, here's the thing with cigarettes, man, because I stopped drinking, too.

I never look at booze. I don't drink at all. I don't drink at all. I don't look at booze ever and go, I want to drink, but cigarettes never look bad. They always look good because it's so like, hey, I'll just do it, and then I throw it and I'm done. The people usually look bad. I can walk away. The people usually look bad.

Some of them do. You don't see too many people smoking these days. Well, they vape, which is going to, we're going to find out in five years. That's just as bad. Well, we know that's horrible. Yeah, I mean, that's going to, you know. But in L.A., you see a lot of hot people smoking. I remember when, as a kid, again, my grandma's straight, British accent and everything,

they would call their cigarettes fags. Yeah. So when I went to school and they would call other kids fags, you know, just to call them fags, I didn't think it was offensive because I thought, like, a dumb ass, they were talking about cigarettes. Yeah. Right. That's weird. You're like, and I learned the difference three months ago.

You're mother's born and raised. Born and raised, yeah. So are your family's British? Half. Well, my mom's side is. My dad's German Italian. Man, they smoke. Asian smoke, dude.

Asians still love a sin. Your parents smoke? No, everyone else in my family does, though. They love a sick. And you know what? They love the same. I love a Marlboro light. That's what you do.

Asian loves it, right? Mm-hmm. They love a Marlborough like to the Supreme Race. They get it. Marbury light is a perfect. Cream race. Asians is a supreme race. They're the supreme race.

They're the supreme race. I'm an Asian supremacist, not a white supremacist. Oh, I didn't know that. I used to walk around Chinatown, just going like this. All right. Yes. Did they like you? They like me because I look like a guy that's in a movie.

If you're a fat white guy and you walk around Asia, they think you're in a movie. So they're like, oh, yeah, this is, he is from the show. So the Italians are natural criminals you're saying. Natural criminal. You have criminal DNA. You don't trust me really. You're criminal DNA. There's nothing wrong with that, but you have a little bit of criminal DNA.

But I feel like there is something wrong with that. No. I have a particular. I respect. Italians because I don't really I don't like the government. I respect people to try to get around the government. But you would never let an Italian in government if you had your

Well, I don't trust them because I know when I see an Italian in the government, I'm like they're running a game. I'm not in on it. If I was in on it, I'm fine. So the Asians should be running everything. Well, because they don't, and this is going to sound controversial. It's going to sound controversial.

It sounds very racist. But no, it's not. It's not. It's science. It's science. They're less emotional. people. They're just not, Koreans are very emotional. But Chinese are not emotional. They're not emotional. They're not that emotional. Too many people to kill it. It is what it is. Go to Chinatown. You see them all

working. You're like, nobody's like on the phone and be like, you're going to call me back. Like it's never happening. They're working and they should run it all because they are less emotional. And that's a nice way to say, wasps, less emotional. Jews, less emotional.

Jews are very emotional. Not not really. Yes. A little bit. What do you mean a little bit? But it doesn't derail them. Irish, it derails. Do I me to give you an example? Yeah, please. You want me to give you an example? Please. Because this is good science. I know people that Jewish people that are in business with their dad or the business with their uncle. And then they bring an outsider in that's really good at business. And then like, one of them gets in a fight. And then the Jewish dad or uncle's like, hey, listen, like, we need that outsider. They're very good at business. And somebody would be like, but I'm your

son. I'm your nephew. I'm whatever. And they're like, give us a fuck. Like, we're going to make money here. It's about money. Yeah, it's not about, you know what I mean? Irish people will be like, yeah, fuck that outsider. Let's run this into the ground ourselves. That's absolutely true.

That's actually very true. That's very true. So the whole thing is there's less emotion in a place like in the Asian world. Not all of them. The Korean girls are very giggly. Right. They giggle a lot. They're very giggly.

So it's not, it's not racist because racist would be all. I see this. I'm saying the Korean girls are very giggle a lot. And do they hide your fingers like this? Yes. My favorites. He went on Rogan started spitting out some facts. Yeah.

Rome goes, where are you getting that? You know, Ron was right. And I pulled over. He goes, where do you get in this information from you go? Why didn't bring the fucking documents? Yeah. But I was also making a joke. And I can't think of the site. Yeah.

Yeah. But first of all, I love it. It's like, Teddy Bravo for information. Like, there's a million people on that show that you can ask Eddie's, I mean, yeah, Eddie's sort of about Hillary Clinton

snorting babies and it's like, okay, well, just nobody's asking, how about we ask for a source on that, you know?

He goes, where is, he goes, he goes, and he goes, I don't know, man, I didn't want you,

I hear shit, I hear shit, and I'm a man of pure mind and body and soul. I take, listen, it was all downhill, all I said,

it was just a two-hour fight, which is fine. All I said was the gates, goes into the third world and every now and then he pricks something and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and I'm right about that that doesn't mean we don't need vaccines

but it means that I'm right about that him and Melinda go on a vacation to the third world with a needle and just sit there and go are you sure that's how it's done I feel like you're simplifying this is exactly how it's done

can you show me the technique can they just Bill and Melinda go to an underdeveloped country and they go and they have like a fake carnival and then people are brought to them. People are brought to the carnival and everyone's like having fun, everything like that.

And you know that thing where they throw, you know the barrenivals. They throw the dart into the balloon. Yeah. Then what happens is while you're not looking, Bill takes the dart and he goes like this, boom, right near the kid. That's what happened. And sometimes it works and sometimes it does that. And what's he putting in the kid? Anything.

A vaccine to see if it works. And then sometimes a kid turns into a werewolf sometimes it doesn't. That's what it is. For facts. Facts, baby. Anyone, listen. Do you believe in pizza again? him? Some of it.

I went some of it. Here's the thing about, I told you this. If you have art on your fucking walls of kids in cages, something's wrong. Well, they don't have that there, by the way. Yeah, but some of those, dude, Tony Podesta, Olivia's art collection. There's something weird. Yeah, but the Cosmo pizza is what it's called where pizza

gets... Comit pizza. Have you been there? No. Have you been there? No. Great food. I'm sure it's good. I'll go. He was... It's good for business. He was heartbroken with it. And he goes, they say that... But I also feel like he was just... But there's no basement. They don't have a basement. He took me to the basement. The owner's getting blown by a kid. He's looking at Brandon.

He's like, I'm so heartbroken by this whole thing. Brandon's like, he's a good guy. He took me to the basement. He goes, go ahead, go in there. And it was a closet. Here's the thing. I don't know about Pizgate particularly, but rich people, fuck kids. I mean, it's what it is. There are rich. Not all of them. No, not all of them,

Brendan, but there's rich people that do, and they get away with it and people covered up. So right then it definitely happened. Who covers up child crimes, though? Other people that are committing child. That's true. Sex rapes. I mean, look at the Catholic Church. Come on.

Petophile rings. Yeah, they exist. I don't know. I'm not invited to them, but I'm like, to say that none of them exist. To say that none of them exist is crazy. I agree. I agree with you. A lot of people are like, they don't exist at all.

They busted a huge online petophile ring. And people like that, none of those people that get to that level of power, they don't care what goes on. They don't. Human life means nothing to those people. Obama, Hillary, any of them, Trump, when you're the president, you're pressing a button and vaporizing a town. You're not thinking about individual human life.

You barely can't. Sure. So they're not like, so if they knew something was going on, they'd be like, well, I don't, you know. Yeah. I mean, it's like, what do you expect, you know? I think when Clinton bombed what they thought was a chemical weapon factory. Yeah, bombed an aspirin factory.

Yeah, it was a, yeah, it was like, they made the medicines. But there was a janitor, they knew who was working there. And they were like, we got to make a choice here. It was the same thing with Trump when he killed that, Was it Iranian or Iraq official? You know that? The military official? Solvani.

That guy, Soledani had been... They all told him not to enthrum with a whole story. Well, he was a mastermind. Did you see the video? No, I didn't see the video. I felt like fucking standing up and shouting USA. Well, he was mastermind for a lot of... But if you walked into a dude's house, if you walked in one of your friend's house,

and you're sitting there eating dinner. Yeah. And there's a photo on a wall of like kids in cages and weird stuff. wouldn't you be like, oh, okay? Like, you'd feel weird. I'd put it on my Instagram. I wonder if that's actually his real, if that's real art or is that's conspiracy.

I don't buy, this is all internet shit, right? No, I mean, Brian, but what does that mean? That's on the internet. Dude, that's, that's art. This is pedestrian, the artist that this guy uses all the time, and he buys their art. So it's like he just buys creepy shit. Now, it is what it is.

Jesus. That's a little creepy. What the fuck is that? That's the artist that he used. uses all the time. I don't know. Is that true? Yeah, but that's the art class. I mean, dude. He does use that particular artist who does specialize in this. He does, well, I mean, it's weird stuff. I mean, I'm not saying that all gothic art is bad or all dark art is bad.

But it's just weird to be in a house where, you know, some of that's a little weird, right, Callum? It's pretty fucking hard not to look at, isn't it? Right. Okay. That's an asshole. We all end the episode by buying pieces. That's weird. Look at that baby mermaid, that old man mermaid. Look at that shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Where can I buy this stuff? That's great. This is fantastic. That's phenomenal. Actually, I've changed my mind. Look at that.

That's hilarious. Look at that. That old man mermaid is good. That's really good. That's really good. I don't like that. No, that I like. Creepest.

Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know if you want that in your house. Look at that blob with the. You're talking about an asshole with shit coming out? Yeah. Yeah. That's just a, yeah. Interesting. I'm just saying, listen.

man. Get that out of here. That's scary. That's scary shit. Super scary. You just wouldn't let him babysit. That's all. Well,

think about the guy who's like, thinking about that. He's like, I'm going to come up with that. I think of how dark that man is. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I mean. But then again,

what makes you that dark. It's okay to be dark. It's okay to be dark comedy. You might be afraid of the world. Yeah. I was told them. But you're not going to create sculptures that insinuate molesting kids.

No. No. No, unless you were molest with a kid or something. Well, that's the whole thing. So the conspiracy is that there's some subterranean layer of existence or whatever where this stuff's going on all the time. And then this art is like a reflection of what's happening. And that's really crazy.

And I hope that's not the case. Well, no, dude, I'm sure sex crimes on children. It's real. It's so real. And if you look at the Internet. now. There are some crazy number of images. Sam Harris did this thing. And not only that, the worst part is we don't

really have enough of we don't put enough resources into stopping this shit. Oh yeah, dude. And it's so much worse than you can imagine. And there's no me too for kids. Like there's no like article in, you know, Rolling Stone being like you know, like big up the kit.

It's all about like a 400 pound woman who's like, stop it. But it's not you know, it's like what am I? Stop it. What about the kid? That's what it is. Pick up any magazine. There's like some girl is like 9,800 pounds.

And she's like, stop it. That's the headline. And you're like, all right. And then you open it up and she's like, they wouldn't let me on a roller coaster. And you're like, this is an outrage. But then it's like every, you know, it's a problem. It's always a woman who looks like like me,

but inexplicably worse. And she like wants to be a Disney princess. It's like, what are you? What? no I don't wonder dude I don't wonder why I don't get brought in for the roles that Ansel Elgort does Like I don't it doesn't keep you up at night

Who's Ansel Elgur? The kid from Baby Driver The naked kid on my Instagram What a good looking dude What a great fucking choice of work Yeah just some real But like I don't worry Hemsworth though

Yeah I get it It's like I get why I'm brought in for the roles I'm brought in for a dock worker Degenerate gambler Father who can only see his daughter When a cop is present I know I get it I'm not like sitting

I don't show up every day to Ford models going, hey, like, what about us? You know, what about me? So I just don't understand. That's a whole movement, that plus model thing is a movement. I'm not into it. And it's okay not to be. It's just not my thing. I do your, I mean, get yours, girl.

Get yours is exactly right. That's going to be a new magazine. Well, that's like Naomi, Naomi Wolf that feminist wrote a book called the beauty myth, which is like everybody read in that whole circle. And it's like saying that, you know, the idea that a woman has to be like symmetrical with curves is what about fat women and it's a myth and we've been taught it meanwhile they did these studies on even congenitally blind men prefer like a small waist to hip ratio and babies do everybody does everybody you got everybody wants somebody but that's why you develop personalities that's why you make

money that's why you it is what it is you're not going to redefine what people are attracted to you find a way to make yourself the best version of yourself you can be that's right that's correct That's what it is. Congratulations. Have you had any work done? I've had a lot of work done. I thought so. I actually am a Native American

woman. I didn't know this. This is a reality. Are you sure? I was a Native American woman. They made me into this. Okay. Because it's comical.

They gave me this voice. They gave me everything. So you wanted to be an Irish. I came to L.A. from Arizona as in a Pueblo. A Pueblo. A small Native American woman. It is, buddy.

Have something. No, yours is over there. Why do you sit muffins on the desk if this is a keto show? I'd like to eat one. What is that muffin? Let's try it, right, Captain Man, it's a... I've never had a baked good. What do you...

How does it feel in your mouth? It's amazing. It's chocolate banana walnut muffins. Jesus Christ. Gotta have one. Can we try one? Go for it. She's like, it's a coronavirus chocolate walnut muffin.

Muff break. The severe race will take over through this muffins. You're not kidding. Tim, did you do the comedy store benefit last? I did. It was a real disaster. I heard it was a shit show. Only because, listen, that technology is not really ready for that.

And it's not great because there's a lag and people are talking over each other. Yeah, I heard there's a shit show. But they raised money, so that's a good thing. Oh, there's no rapper on it. That's really good. Thank God. That's what I like. I'm like, look at the, I'm like, God, that rapper is, but this is what I mean.

A white chick would have had, it would have been rappers and it would have been a mess. Thank you. Vietnamese don't believe in that. See, no emotions, no rappers. It's very good. Thank you. What's good about it? Did you eat today?

I just had a water and a little kefir. You know what confereous? Like a probiotic thing? Yeah. We try to get the bacteria even. This is good because what's good is when I taste the chocolate, I want to live. Now, you had a last meal. What would it be?

You're going to die. You can have anything. I'm watching a death row show. Here's the thing, Ryan. I think about that every night and then I just have the milk No, I would I mean, I would start with a shellfish tower.

I'm talking about chilled lobster, shrimp, crab, and I would have a creamy cilantro sauce. I'd have some cocktail sauce. I'd have a little, a little... A spicy cocktail sauce? Yeah, a nice spice. It was a horserite in it.

Then I would move on to like a New York strip, rare, some hash browns, a little cream spinach, some steak sauce. And then I, end it with a hot fudge Sunday. That's not a bad. That's my meal.

Probably be my meal. That's the move. I was watching this show. It was on, it's on Netflix. One of their big new documentaries that's dropped. These are fucking phenomenal. Where people are getting,

they got convicted of straight up, they're going to prison for life. And then this new group goes in and looks at all the facts of their trial and trying to get them out of prison because you guys were wrongly convicted. But it's crazy. But one guy's gets life and they showed where he was going to go to get fucking, you know, put to sleep. I was just thinking, can you imagine the night before?

No. Before you get... I want to go to Sardinia. I want, before I die, and I just want sausage, lots of cheese, bread, and wine. It's got to be weird. Are you hungry and do you even enjoy it? See, I don't think you're hungry. I don't think you're hungry.

It's like before a fight you can't eat. Their nerves are through the root. They should do it. They see people... You know what happens? They say when... They accept it? Well, they say that when you're going to be taken to war time.

Who said this, Lundy? They did these studies. They said when someone is going to be tortured, they know they're going to be tortured, they're waiting in a cell, or they're going to go to a firing squad. They fall asleep. They can't stay away.

Wow. Their body gets, that would happen in fighting too. Your nerves are so bad. Sometimes you get real drowsy. You get really drowsy. Your body just gets, you know. Yeah, I've seen that happen to you.

Growsy. I'll sleep in the back. That's what's driving everyone nuts about, like, the quarantine is like, I talk to a guy wants to work, the prison says, he goes, He goes, the easiest guys in here are lifers.

He goes, they've accepted it. He's like, it's the uncertainty of when you're going to get out and stuff. They can drive people crazy. Give them anxiety because they're like, what the, you know, because they know that there's an outside. You're going crazy. They haven't accepted. They don't know when, you know, they're like the parole hearing coming out.

Like he's like, lifeers kind of accept it. And then they just, so like, even if they told me, if they're like, all right, listen, it's going to suck. But August 31st, you're out of this. Yeah. I'd be like, all right, I'm doing a bid. I'm like in jail. Well, they say then they always have the saying that says,

don't do the time. Don't let the time do you, you do the time. Right. So what they'll do is the guys I know. Morgan Freeman, like? No, I know people, I've talked to people who spent long time in prison. And what they'll do is they schedule every fucking minute. Interesting.

Because it makes it pass. Yeah, because what you do is you schedule everything. So even like tying your shoes, waking up, putting on your clothes, you go to your workout, you have your breakfast. So they get super fucking regimented, really regimented. keeping your space and your area clean. Gene, can you bring up this? The Netflix stock, they're wrongfully accused.

Type in new prison. Don't do the time. Don't let the time do you. Don't let the time do you. What's crazy about this, this, don't let the time do you. It's 2020. That's right.

You do that time. Yeah, man. How do you explain it to kids? You both have kids. How do you explain it to kids? Do you go, listen, guys, the country's a little sick? Oh, I say, how do you deal with it as a parent? So my kid, you know, the other day goes, Papa, I want to see my friends.

I want to go to school. I said, sickness is still here. The sickness is here. So we can't leave. We've got to be safe right now. The sickness is still here. Yeah. Like, you want to go to Disneyland.

I'm like, we can't. Is that the same thing? You just kind of go to sick. My kids are older. So they know everything. Like, they just know that there's a virus. They know it doesn't affect kids typically. And they know that there's just rules.

It's almost like kids now have the school's done. The kids now have the upper hand. Because if you're like, if you say anything, they're running for your shoes. You know, my dog. You know what my daughter said to me the other day? She goes, I said something like, no, I said something like, yeah, you do that and I'd crack you. You know, joking around.

She goes, yeah, you crack me and I'll call child services. How's that sound? Yeah. What the fuck? They have the upper hand out. Good for her. Yeah. That's what kids do now.

Oh, that's it. The innocent files. So it starts with these two gentlemen who, it's horrible. I forget where it's at. But two little girls with like two weeks apart when they were sleeping got dragged the other house, raped, murdered, and drowned in the water. Jesus.

Jesus. But they had bite marks on them that they thought they were bite marks. So there was this forensic genius who specialized in bites. And he goes, oh, they took like people who visited the house. They took all their bite marks.

It's the only forensics they could do. So this guy goes, without a doubt, this is the same teeth. These are the bite marks. So he went to prison for life. Next guy, a week later, little girl dies, the boyfriend was in the house. They go, let's see your bite marks.

There's a bite marks on this girl. Oh, this is the guy, without a doubt. This is the man, prison for life. 20 years go by, they look at that guy's information. They go, he's full of shit. They're like, these bite marks, that's not how it works. So they go back, they go through all the files, all the case files, and now they have DNA because science, advance.

They look at the science, and these guys were innocent. They get them out. You know what the government gives you for doing that time, 20 years in life, they give you $50,000 a year for 10 years. Then after 10 years, those guys are fucked because they have this on their record. They can't get jobs. They're so fucked. I know a guy who got $25 million though for doing 25 years.

So he got a lot of money, but it depends. Yeah, I would imagine. Well, in general, yeah, it's usually not great. I believe they give you 50 grand. Way to Trump my story, but yeah, I hear you. No, no, but I mean, I'm sure. What a. Wow.

This thing's so dark. So now, what happened? Fuck. Did they never catch the guy? Dude, you can't. They did. There was a prisoner, and he was on death row, and he admitted to the murders. Did you have my video going, yeah, I killed those girls.

They go, why did you do? He goes, the demons in my head were telling me to do it. And they go, both girls? He was, yeah, yeah, they were telling me to do it. He goes, how'd you get them? And he goes through the exact step by step. He goes, well, I looked in the window. I saw a little girl sleeping next to the window on the bed.

So I just broke the window, grabbed her, rushed her out. Dude, you can't even tell that story. You can't even tell that story at a job interview. like as like a hey man my life went sideless. You can't be like, hey, wrongly committed. They think I bit two girls and killed them. Oh, here's the thing.

Here's the thing. Everyone would be like, oh, sorry that happened, but also get out of here. Just the energy. If you're planning to watch this, don't listen to this in three, two, one, the bite marks, you know what they figured out what it is? He would toss them in these like little ponds or the lake there behind the house. You know what it was? Fish.

They weren't bite marks. It was crawfish. Because the body would sit there and crawfish would bite, you know, bite. And so it looked. So now this just became like a happy New Orleans story. Zadirams. That's a great commercial for Zadarans. You see the guys coming out with her, dude, doodoo, you know, with the horns, you know.

Well, what a fun way. And I wrap it all up, you know. This is why I have dogs. Have you been watching stuff? What have you been into? I started binging the Americans on Fax. I want to see that. I have a good.

for that. I worked so hard in an audition. It was so, it's so good. It's a great show. It gets a little repetitive around season four or five, but then it wraps up. It's really good. It's Carrie Russell and Matthew Reese, and they're just killers, man. My buddy directed the pilot for that when I first came out. It's great. I worked so hard. I worked three days on that audition for his role, for that main role. I worked so hard on it. And then my buddy said through my other friend, he goes, ah, Brian just wasn't that good in it. I was like, oh. Okay. Okay. Because I was going to do another part And he goes, I don't, he just wasn't good

And he just wasn't good in his audition. I was like, that's okay. This guy, I got to be honest with you. Dude, this guy is great. Yeah, fuck that. He also comes from a fucking the Gettys family. Fuck off. What's the Gettys?

And I love her. And I had such a crush on her. Like, I love her. I think he's a good actor, though. And then he came, I watch. Every role that I'm supposed to get goes to Fortune Feimster. So the reality is, I get it. Or Bridget Everett.

He came to my house because we were watching the fight. It was when Chale Sondon fought Anderson Zibber for the second time. He was there. And my wife, my wife at the time, no. My wife at the time thought, she was, oh, my God, he's so hot. And she said, so not only he beat me out in the part, but also he's quiet and cool. And then my wife was obsessed with him. He's Welsh.

He was close. Worse. Even worse. He's Welsh. Even worse that he has an accent. And the whole thing. And he's younger. Yeah, whatever.

Yeah. I was confusing him with Balthasar Getty. but yeah, that's right. He was there. Anyway, so I'm jealous that he got the part. I'm jealous that I was told I sucked, and I was jealous at my way. The whole thing was fucking bullshit. And I made it, and you know what I did, dude?

Well, I don't even want to say it. All right, I will. Did you leave a bad review on a show or something? No. I was so loud and obnoxious at the fight, and I was like, kick his fucking ass and being somebody I'm not because I was that insecure. And the guy left, and I know he left,

because he was like, this dude next to me is an asshole. I was like, I was, I was outside of myself. I love that guy. I was outside of myself. That's my favorite actor now. He should be. And I, because that's why I don't watch fights with you?

I proved to be an asshole. I was aggressive. I was like a drunk dude at a bar. Fucking kicking. You were peaking. I was doing that. Like, I wanted to fight because I was insecure. Because he beat me on two fronts.

Acting and my wife would have left me for him. There is. Okay, I admitted it. Well, it's a fun. show. I'm sorry that I made it about me, dude. But I'll never watch the show as a result. Hey, hey, well, fuck that.

Show. I got a show for you. It's on history, on demand. It's called, is it the, the, with the Kings of Pain? The Kings of Pain. It's two gentlemen, an Australian and a former, I think he's like a

Marine or some shit. Okay. And they go around to do a score of pain. Oh, I'll do this. With the insects in the world? Oh, yeah, dude. I will, I will Watch that. Dude, they let a boat constrictor bite them. Really? Really? Really? That's not a big deal to me compared to like the scorpion centipies. Spiders.

But I mean, I've been bit by. Papa, watch the show. Do you say you been bit by snake? Yeah. What snake? A Burmese python and also a Bucarter snake. Oh, but not like these, Bubba. Yeah. Yeah, no. Why, does it really paint? It's more painful than the scorpion, though? The Tremantula hawk?

Well, I don't want to ruin it. You got to watch it. Dude, I want to watch this. You know what's the most painful thing for them? If you're going to watch show, don't listen, 3, 3, 3, 1. the centipede. That makes a centipede. You should see these guys. That's what Coyote Peterson said. He got sick or something.

But here's the thing, that that boconstry that bites them, it latches on, and they have to get like 18 stitches in their fucking arm. That's a wild way to make. I hate those things to scare me. Those are the most horrifying. That's a centipede. They are horrifying. The Asian giant force centipede.

Oh, fuck. And you've been all over the world. Have you seen one of those in the wild? Yes, I have. I've not only seen one of those in the wild. I saw one of those in my house. My father killed one of those, a huge one in Lebanon with his book. They're so scary.

In his book with his book. Yeah. I saw plenty of those. Remember I lived in Pakistan, in India, all those different countries, Philippines. Dude, they get, they get bit by the, I think they saw the destroyers. Like, where nature is just, you're like, Africa, right? Well, Africa, but, you know, Pakistan in, we, there were cobras. We had cobras.

Yeah. We had, um, would you charm them? All kinds of snakes in. in Asia like that, that will bite you. That will kill you. And if you're a kid, you're done. Oh, my God. You know, so.

Amazon's pretty bad, too. Amazon's bad. These boys go somewhere in the Philippines, though, and they're just like. Dude, the Philippines is rough. They catch some sort of wasp in the Philippines, and you can tell they're not doing well. Dude, the Philippines is tough.

The Philippines is sad because, like, I'm very squeamish of this stuff. All the other is of countries. Yeah. Really? I'm going to watch it. Both the hosts are great together. and they get bit and they have a medical staff on site

when they get bit by that centipede the one dude's like he turns all white and he's like I got I gotta lay down and he goes you can tell it's real he goes why the fuck do we do the show so what happens after he gets bit by that do they just then shoot him up with something no no Andy Bell no they got to write out like there's this one I feel kind of ride out you like these guys could die oh 100% that's why there's medical staff on site but

great show but they're that oh so here so that there's a beetle where it's toxic per per like drip is way more venomous than a cobra but the way it gets to you is so you you you it's it in its blood so they they say this beetle land on you people smash it they don't think anything they smashed it and then they just go about their day but in his the toxins in his blood that's what made all those that his skin it's also like how sick is the executive who thought this up who's sitting in some room in Beverly Hills he's like listen why don't we just have at like insects bite people and see if they live. You don't want that.

That's our new show. What is that fucking thing right there? Oh, dude, that you're talking about that wasp right there? That's a trancho hawk. What's that thing? The tarantle hawk? Do they let any spiders do it?

They have a trancho bite them. The one with the big fangs? The Goliath? Yeah. Whoa. That kills the birds. Yeah, Glythe bird eating spider. It bites them.

But it's not that venomous, so they're probably okay, but it hurts like hell. It hurts because it like, you can see, it's weird. You can hear it piercing the skin. What? What? Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude. Those, those boys are bad.

Those spiders are size of a dinner plate and they'll wrap around your whole. Here's the thing. On their pain index, they do initial pain, then the effects of the bite and then how long it lasted. Dude, I'm going to binge this when I get home. Which one is the worst? The centipede. The snake's number one, too. The snake's most venomous was the centipede.

What happens? Is it like when the centipede bites you, is the pain, is it like local or is it like your whole body's just They said their whole some it's local So they give it a low score On the overall And then some it's just a whole

They said last for days Wow The centipede's like It's really dangerous Really bad for you It kills people Whole body Oh you know what they did

They did They did a There's some sort of sea urgent That's super poisonous And they put their arms on it And they have to get to the Their short Like little barbs

Are the most poisonous So you have to break this thing They're pushing it down It's going And then they hit it Oh dude It's insane Would you let a centipede bite you to reopen the economy?

Yes, I would. I think I would too. I would do a lot. Name anything right now, Tim. I would probably do it going. Yeah. I would now, if the economy was booming and they asked me to do this show, my girl goes, how much would you let how much would it take for you to do this show? I was like, oh, I don't know.

Because I'd be so scared of that snake. The thing is you have a kid. It's different if you don't have a kid, right? Because you have a kid. So it's like, like, a show. I don't have a motorcycle. Yeah. That's like you got to just, there's certain things you have to kind of like,

we all live with levels of risk, but this seems like a high level of risk. There's that seer jet. That thing fucks them. Yeah, that dude, that thing is going to put barbs in them. There's shit and then the barbs get under the skin. Now, there's shit in the sea you don't want to fuck with. They're shit in the sea that you cannot mess with, man. That shows fantastic.

Stone fish and, I mean, come on. I keep saying, boys, I want to see you get bit by a rattlesnake. I know somebody's going to tell you, I've been watching the show. I want to see it by a ratlesnics. It's too dangerous, Bob. They're too dangerous. It's a venom that gets in your whole body. I mean, there's certain things they won't.

These guys won't do like the little, they won't go to Australia. Some of the things like, some of the things in Australia like. They do a scorpion fish? Yeah, but they. They won't do the blue ring octopus. The blue ring octopus. They caught one. And they go, we can't touch this thing.

Yeah, because it would die. We would die. Yeah. But that's different. They won't do an Amazon, one of those Amazon frogs where if you, they lick them, and then you become trans. That's kind of cool. So they won't.

Hold on. I want to make sure you've been dropping a lot of science. You've been dropping a lot of science. I'm an invertebride zoologist. I thought you just said that I know you are, but I thought you just said if you lick it, you'll become trans, not into a trans. If you get you lick it, you have gender dysphoria and you no longer want to be that you're born gender. Okay, do you have documentation on this?

I am an invertebrateeologist. I've seen this happen in the water. I understand. Do you have the... I've seen a man get licked by a frog and then become a woman. And by the way, it's beautiful. Well, and it's natural. Now, hold on.

So the frog licks the man, because I thought the man had to lick the frog. There's a lot of licking going on. And that's how you become a trans person. Oh, you know what? They get bit by the velvet ant? Oh, they suck. What is a velvet ass? It's a white.

It's a white. It's a white ass. It's a white. My buddy's son did that. I thought it was a cool aunt. He heard, and that's what. I'm in California.

Oh, it's cute as fuck. That's what I said. Cute as fuck. Dude, that is cute. They have a high. I want a stuffed one, though. They don't? You're full of shit, huh?

They get bitten and they go like this. Oh, dang. No, that wasn't too bad. Coyote said they were high. All right. Well, here's the other thing. These guys are getting... They go, no.

Comparatively. Yeah, comparatively. These guys getting bit by all kinds of shit. No, I'm telling you. It's a brand. It's the new day. You know, they're taking months up between bites. They get bit and they both go, not bad.

It's the lowest on the score. Oh my God. It goes like a honeybees, a one. That thing's like a three for them. So what about, look at that fucker. So what is the worst wasp, they say, besides tarantula?

Can you bring it up to? The executioner wasp is ahead of the trancea was. What about like a great white shark? That should be season. That's going to hurt. That's going to see. Yeah, season two is a grizzly. That'll take your leg off.

Well, that's season two. How are they going to top this? There was a guy who wanted to put a suit on, like a giant bite suit and fuck with a grizzly. That's a terrible idea. It's a bad idea. I think he, I... Well, because he had break close bones, right? Snap his knack.

Well, it was like really fortified, you know. Okay. But yeah, you're going to get fucked up. Would they let a person bite them? That's season two. That's season two. Season two. Let a bum get a hold of your head.

You see what I mean? Go back. Go back. So you see the velvet out to the three and the bulletin said a four. And that's the highest. So that's the highest. That's why I was saying. This is a...

I don't think this is their... What's a warrior wasp? Oh, they're... Torture. You are chained in the flow of an active volcano. You know why they call them warrior wass? Because when they're on the... When they're about to attack them, they start clapping their wings,

and it sounds like a tribe going all at the same time. Nature is interesting, man. It's nuts, dude. That shows fantastic. This is why I am four companies destroying the planet, because these things need to go. That's fair. Well, but that's...

It's kind of a blanket shutdown, is it? Yes. There are some cute furry things that are going to go as well, but a lot of these things are going to go. If you could have one pet, what would it be? Great question. I enjoy the capybara. Capybara is a good, fucking, the largest. Rodent.

It's just a fun conversation starter. It is, there you go. They're adorable. Tell me you would not walk around. They're the favorite dish of the non-whites. Okay. Maybe. Maybe.

And they are hunted by. They are hunted by the indigenous people. In Africa? Yeah, but they're all... Where are they indigenous, too? Amazon, Amazon. So they are the favorite dish of the... Spear chuckers.

Because in the Amazon, that's not racist. They have tribes. Okay, they do. But there's an animal that loves the couple of... The Anaconda. The Anaconda. No, not Crocodile. Tiger.

Tigers aren't part of the... The anaconda. They're not there. They're not there. The jaguar guys. The Yaguar guys. Oh, yeah. The jaguar, right?

Okay. Look at how cute he is. Look at her teeth. Yeah, that's a giant hat. This is like one of those TLC episodes. Literally a giant rat. I fuck my pet. There's like a lot of shows now where it's like, I fuck my pet.

Yeah. TLC has a lot of those shows. That thing is cute as fuck. I don't trust him, but yeah. TLC is like the normalizing beastiality channel. Yeah. Look how cute they are. My favorite show on TLC is 90-day fiancé and the thousand pound sister.

Yeah. And then they'll be like, I married my pet chicken. And you're like, Okay. But I watch this a role. Yeah. TLC is great. Somewhere in the battles of TLC, they're like,

we need to find the most destroyed people on the planet and make shows. No, all TLC does is they have some staff that watches YouTube and goes, right. That's a good show. Just like Jazz, the little boy who turned in a girl. She had a huge YouTube following. Jazz Jennings. Yes.

Yeah. The 1,000-pound sisters were big YouTube before the show. Yeah. That's all they're doing. 600 pound dr pimple popper was huge online the big fat fabulous life oh wait is dr pimple popper

she actually pops like black heads that have been dormant for like well she should do like huge stuff though 600 pound life they all have significant others which is great

isn't it crazy no one's single yeah dude it's amazing have you watched I watched this too hot to handle no what is what is no like the dating

what's your show with the little people where they are always fighting Oh, but they got divorced. Oh. I think it's called the little people. Yeah. Okay.

Two hot to handles that they put all these really hot people on the island. What are you doing watching this? And they tell me you can't have sex. What are you doing watching? It was just there. I was watching those bored and then I turned it off. Oh, did you watch Love is Blind? You know what?

I got four episodes in. I was like, I'm kind of over this. Yeah, I just watched old things. It was quarantine. I was like whatever. Did you like it? It was fine. I like the black girl who got with the white guy.

She's cute, yeah. Yeah. And then was like, my family. I don't know how they're going to feel about this because they're like so pro-black. Yeah. They've never even seen a white person. She has to bring him home. Right.

I didn't see how that ended. Did they get married? But the dudes on it were not, I don't know. Some of them were good-looking. Some of them were like. How about that one guy was like, I have a secret to tell you. She's like, well, I'm gay. I did mainly guys.

And she's like, what? What the fuck? They get in the biggest fight. Yeah. Well, that's an issue of you. Yeah. He's still okay. He's gay?

No. No, no, yeah. That's the one who had to go. to the black girl's house. It's still working out. They're like Black Panthers. Yeah, it's working out though. Is it working?

Yeah, they're still together. Why not, man? Dude, this chick up here was like you could tell. The top right? With the short guy? Yeah. This girl was like you could tell like the sporty chick in school that was popular. And then it was just a weird chick who never got a dude.

And she's super thirsty. Super thirsty, super strange. She uses the word random a lot. She's like, it's a random. I'm like, She had five friends. They all deserted her. She's very difficult to deal with.

She's very hard to deal with. She drinks her weight and booze. So she got with this short, she connected with this guy, but he's real short. And she hated him. She's not attracted to him. So she hated him. He was like 5'4.

And she was like, she was like, oh. She wants the guys that would fuck her in, in college at 3 a.m. like none of them want to marry you. You're 36. It's over. Find the little fat dentist. Or the short guy who's a,

or him. But like she thought she was going to get like this six foot three athlete. Yeah. She's definitely one of those sporty girls. The best was the gay guy though. It was like, I have a secret. And she's like, just tell me whatever you want. How bad can it be?

He's like, well, I'm gay. Yeah. And she, they almost got a physical fight. Well, I mean, yeah. It was wild. Is that a mint? Can I have a mint? Uh, this nicotine.

You want some? No. Does anybody have a mint? I don't have any mint. You know what it is? I'm tasting the chocolate in my mouth from the muffin. And I want another muffin? And I want another muffin.

Because it's still in my throat. Eat another muffin. There's no judgment. If I don't come out of this quarantine, castable and hot, we got big problems. You know what I mean? If I don't come out,

you can start tomorrow. I've started tomorrow for a very long. Those muffins are always said that. Very good. They're very soft. And I bet they're healthy. But the chocolate's so good. They're all right.

You know what, though? They're muffins, though, you know, Tim? I bet they're not. What's in them that is even bad for? Chosolard. Chocolate, wheat. Sausage from Sardinia. Flour.

Feta cheese. From goats, we raised ourselves. There's a banana in it, so you have some. Bananas, like the unhealthiest food, and you know why? Because everything bananas in is also horrific for you. It's always like bananas foster. Banana is never in a thing that's remotely healthy. It's ever like banana salad.

It's always like banana French toast stuffed with ice cream. Banana is like a dessert food. It's a whore. Like a banana is a slutty food. It's a dirty, slutty food. It wants to get chocolate syrup. It wants to get sugar. Once it get flambade.

Yeah. At least an apple like it. It'll pie up, but they'll also throw it in a salad with some gourmetzola, be a little respectable. That's true. Yeah, a little walnut. Yeah, it'll pie up. Yeah, it'll pie up the heart.

Blueberries, too, though. You might toss them on a salad. Blueberries are, they like that image. Strawberries are a little, they're a little, like, I'm on this salad, but I should be. I'm a whore. A little slutty. Raspberries are straight up like, we're fucking because they want in desserts. They want in jam.

They want in jam. They want in jam. A nice preserve. Every now and then a raspberry going to a vinaigrat, but it's like, stop, because then that salad is worse than anything else. Too sweet. A raspberry vinegar salad is always like warm hot goat cheese, a christini. It's like half bread. Bacon.

It's like, yeah, yeah. Walnuts again. But there's nothing quite like a banana because a banana is just a dirty whore of a fruit because you want it. It needs to be frozen with chocolate all over it. It's pops. Pie and mango are also just all sugar. Yes. But you know what?

They're not as prevalent. Yeah. You never have somebody to go, you want a papaya ever. You're a worldly guy. I don't like, to me, papaya is like an idea. Yeah, why did you throw papaya? Because if you're in Clubmen in Jamaica, you have a papaya. I'm an American citizen.

Yeah, correct. I'm a citizen of the United States. I don't know, guys. I'm just, how dare you? I'm sorry. I did not live in Pakistan. Okay. I am enemies with all places I haven't been.

Okay. They are my enemies. Papaya. Papaya is a japan. I don't a nice slice of pine. You know what's a dirty? You like your pie too. I love pie.

What about coconut? What's the feeling about coconut? Because they do the water. Coconut water, healthy. Little sugar, though. Yeah, but then they also try to get into the dessert game. I like a good fat depending. It's a good fat.

It's a good fat. It's a oil. Yeah. What's the best fruit? I'm going to fly. Tomato. Fuck. You get it because he's smart.

I knew he's going to get it. That's the best fruit. Because it is. It's got. I like a nice tomato, man. Like a little cherry tomato. Especially when it's cooked. They say when you cook tomato,

it's actually better for you. No, I've never heard that. Best for your prostate. Really? Yes. My grandmother was from the Bronx. In all of their breakfast,

they used to have like a fried tomato. It was like a big deal to like tomato in the pan. Are you a town? No, I'm Irish. You miss New York? Not really anymore. I say I do because I like the idea of sounding like I miss New York.

How they suck in? But I don't give a shit at all. But I want to seem like I'm smart and I'm like a hardened guy. So like I say like, yeah, New York, it would be different. But I truly, I don't care. I actually have suggested gassing all of New York and killing them to get rid of the coronavirus not hurting the buildings. Not with a bomb.

Gas all of them? Not with the bomb because that would hurt the architecture. Which I live the architecture. A hydrogen bomb. Kills all the organic. But not the buildings. Kills the lives. Yeah. I said we should do get rid of New York the people and keep the buildings and repopulate. That's fair. Start over.

Tim, don't you feel like someone? Oh, whoever. Since you came out here and you're successful, There's seeing a lot of other New York comedians and start doing the same thing. Some of them will, but some of them get addicted to New York, man. New York's a drug. New York's a drug.

The energy in New York's a drug, you know, because for a week, for a while here, before, like, I was still getting stuff happening. Like, you come out here and then you're like, New York is just running a million miles and then you come out here and it just, the energy is like, it's like, you take it down.

And then you're like, because you can fall into depression. It's a breezy. But then you're like, okay, no, there's a hustle here. Just a different hustle. And you can do it. And you can do it. And you can figure. it out. But New York is just

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. But in a world where stand-up might be less prevalent, I mean, a lot of people are going to have to figure out a digital thing. They got to figure it out. They got to figure out whether it's a podcast or whatever. When do you think stand-up is going to be back full swing where people are doing things? Last weekend of June

and spoken, though? I would say full swing. I like that attitude. Full swing, meaning there's like packed-out shows everywhere, and I hope I'm not right. I don't want to be right. August. A year from right now. Oh, you're... I don't want to be right.

I just said I don't want to be right. But I'm saying full swing and hear from right now. You get Brenner, all kinds of heated. I don't want to be right here. But the only reason I'm saying that is because I don't see what changes between now and October or now and whatever. But... Herd immunity? No, we're no one near that.

Nobody's had this. Nobody's even had this. A ton of people have it. More people than you think in California especially. Maybe, but it's, you know, hurt immunity is 80% of the population. Our population is 300. plus million people. 350 million people.

We don't know. I hope to God I'm wrong. I hope to God I'm back out on the road soon. I hope they're like, hey, we have this great antiviral. What it's doing is like, you know, basically keep keeping this thing in the box. If you get it, you take this, you're good. I hope to God. If comedy, if you're right, which I think you're totally off.

I hope I am. If you're right, we're not back to next year, 2021, your favorite comedy clubs won't be there for you to go. Correct. Yeah. But I'm looking at restaurants like that. I'm looking at comedy clubs. I think you're- Well, restaurants can do takeout.

food and they can kind of survive. Some of them cats. It's really hard. Restaurants make all their money on booze. They make all their money on the margins on booze. It's not to do a takeout food yet. But at least they have some avenue. Yeah, but they're gone.

Like a restaurant like Craig's or something good like Atlanta. We're going to come up with a creative way to deal with this. We're going to come up with a creative way. I think that comedy will be back. I hope so. And I think what's going to happen, frankly, is that we're going to do. It's not my attitude. I'm listening right now.

We might have rooms that are 100 people at the first, then 150. Yeah. And then. And then, you know, I'll do a show right now. I'll go do an outdoor show. If there was an outdoor show right now, I would do anything. Oh, I'll do a show at the step for on right now.

I think young people, like you said, I think young people are going to go, I'll take my chances. Where do I sign? Fuck this. If you had a show at Palm Beach right now, it would sell out. I believe it.

Yeah, let's put it in a day. We're going to watch these states. We're going to watch these states. We're going to watch these states. We're going to see when they open up. We're going to be fine. Okay. It's like, oh my God.

Everyone I talk to, I'm like in the mask. I'm so ready for this to be over there. Like, I know, dude. Dude, we all are. I told you I'm a friend who's a cop and she's like, dude. I'm just talking to people. Hospitals are going to tell me next.

They go, listen, if we have to keep treating COVID patients, ambulances won't come. We won't be able to treat anything else. It's going to be a disaster. We'll be a capacity. But they're not a capacity tip. But that's because we've been in our houses. Correct.

But if we go out of our houses and this goes crazy again. But now we're locked up. We have the ventilators. The ventilators aren't even, the ventilators aren't even the way to handle this. Like, the ventilators. A lot of people are saying it's making it worse. I'm hoping that we're, listen, I'm hoping you're right. I'm just saying the whole reason we've done this is the fear is that the exponential growth of this

will hospital will hospitalize too many people at once for the whole system. Why don't you move to Wuhan, dude? Because you're obviously a, I'm a Chinese. I got to be honest with you, you just out of me. I'm secretly Chinese. That's what I'm saying comedy can't come back because we know it's the most important industry in the America. Yeah. Well, did you read that?

As goes comedy, as goes the country. Did you read that they think Chinese agents? Chinese Asians? Chinese agents. Okay. That's a double. That's a double. That's an intelligent agents.

We're releasing false information and trying to panic our, as a New York Times article. But New York Times fullish. No, New York Times is not a fuller. They're not doing a New York Post. Yeah, no, New York Times does their research. New York Post. And for them to put out that we think the Chinese agents, working for the Communist Department, we're creating,

We're creating hysteria. We're sending so many texts with things like the national car is going to shut this down. Oh, interesting. Soldiers are going to be in street. That's why. The Department of Homeland Security had to issue things that said this is fake news. That's why you freaked out. And so this is pretty interesting.

And not only that, they didn't think of much. Once that went on. I support it. I support it. Because China is my home country. I support China, the true leader of the world. What? I'm going with the winner, China.

Oh my God. Because they'll put people in the earn. That's the thing. We're soft. China will be like, oh, you have it? Out of here. I do hope through all this. One thing that might become positive is we start taking back a lot of stuff and more stuff is USA.

I think more stuff needs to be made in America, right? We shouldn't be so dependent on China. We need to make more stuff in America. They're not our friends. I'm talking about the Chinese government. Or if the Filipinos, really, if you want to go there. Wait, what? Because Jollybee, Jollybee is a restaurant.

Okay. Okay. They serve spaghetti and hot dog and fried chicken. It's very confusing. Okay, I know. It's very confusing. So if you're looking at it like, what's a way to confuse people? There's countries full of fat people.

Filipino agents know that. They're like, what if we had a restaurant that just had food that didn't even make sense with the chefs are raccoon, essentially, just throwing in a bunch of garbage. So this is what we're, that's what we're dealing with. Okay, man. I don't know, dude. This has been a very, like your science. I have the facts.

We'll bring those. You should have learned from Rogan because we expect facts. I know. Facts matter. When you look at a guy like me, you go, he's got the facts. That's where we're, that's the first thing. Half of him. These guys that stand outside of my shows, they go, this guy's got the facts.

That's got the facts. He's got the, you know, great. He's right. Dude, I'm from Long Island. Long Island. Tim Dillon. We make a statement that's completely not true. And this is how we always get out of it, okay?

my father does this all the time. He'll say something that's completely, provably untrue, about something that's going to happen in the future. We go, why do you think that? He goes, watch. Watch. And then he's done.

He's like, what do you mean? He goes, watch. It's a way to win. He wins. And he's like, he'll be like, hopefully eventually it happens. He goes like this, that business, he goes, that business going out of business.

And we go, what do you mean? And they're killing it every night. He goes, watch. And he walks into another room. Eventually, he goes, watch. 15 years ago, had an old black guy go like this to me. I never forgot it.

I was cool around in Venice, and his old black guy said, he said, enjoy your freedom now. And I said, what do you mean? He goes, no, he said, enjoy your privacy now.

I said, what do you mean? He goes, you see that camera? There was a camera. It was a traffic camera. And he goes, in 10 years, everywhere you go, you will be on camera.

And I went, okay. Right. All right, dude. Your conspiracy theory. Brian's like, then I hit him with my car. story. Probably as then I hit him with my trust.

In other words, he was so prescient that he saw the fact that no matter where we go, we will always be. Well, that's what's free. Here's what the reality of what's coming. Ted Kaczynsi, by the way. There's going to be fully autonomous cities where people are going to buy into a city. It's going to be sterilized.

All your health information, all of your personal information, your credit information, your social media, it's all going to be logged in. You're going to get a face. You'll be recognized. Yeah, facial recognition. You'll be no more physical marketplaces. you will not go to a store. Everything will be delivered to you.

Everything you do will be tracked. There will be no automobile ownership. You're going to get in a fleet of self-driving cars. Everything is going to be engineered for you. It's going to be wild. We're not going to see a lot of it, but the beginning of it, because a friend of mine works at Deutsche Bank. And he goes, we're already looking at the financial infrastructure for like,

fully a Deutsche Bank. And he goes, fully autonomous cities, meaning that you would buy into the city. Like, you wouldn't buy a home in Santa Monica. You would buy Santa Monica. Into a city, into a, like into a condo thing. Into a co-op. Into a condo thing.

But again, approval will require all of the things. Health, social media. They're going to be like, well, we don't want a lunatic who's going crazy in social media here. How healthy are you? Because you're going to be using all of the, you're going to be using all the public. All your data will be available. It's going to be wild, dude. It's going to be a wild world.

The question will be. Well, the question will be, then they'll sell services to make your data. of private. Then there'll be privacy movements. Then there'll be towns where it's like, we do things the old fashioned way. We're old school. Whatever it is, but I do think you're right. I think it's too convenient to do that. I'm a futurist and I study future systems.

Part of what I do is study the integration of technology at a future point where technology will integrate and then future systems will arrive. Right. And part of what I'm doing right now is looking at how the pandemic is going to accelerate a lot of the things that we've seen.

So self-driving cars, fully autonomous cities, biodomes, people living in pods, fuck robots. I mean, as much as we're kidding around about all this, it is kind of true. Kind of headed that way. That's why Ted Kaczynski was blowing things up. He was blowing things up. He knew where he was going. In the 90s, he called it. In the 80s, he called it.

In the 80s he called. I had a guy talking about how we're going to have people will use drones and print plastic 3D guns. Let's go out right now. And then just kill people. You know, they'll just have everything they need. Crazy. And they'll fly a drone. The next mass shooting is going to be from a drone by some fucking...

How about there's a mass shooting in Canada? And do you even make any news? 16 people. 25. He's driving around, right? I don't know. Can you look that up? It's weird to me that there haven't been any mass shooting.

A knock on wood. Well, because people aren't getting together, so he get a mass shoot. No, I know. But there's people you can get. But I'm glad that we're not having that right now. Let's see. 10 bucks says the guy was. White as fuck.

Probably just angry and mad and crazy. Yeah, you think. Wow. It's probably like being... Can you imagine like, I mean, it's just crazy to me. Taking the lives of that many people, it's so crazy. He set fire to the crime scenes. 51 years old.

One teenage girl, what a piece of shit. These guys have an animal. He was very real lookal. He's a denturist? A denturist? What the hell is that? Is that like a dentist? Dude.

Someone makes dentures. So he said somebody makes dentures. He said, Five structures on fire, and the victims were believed to be inside and burned out buildings. I mean, the guy's a monster. Canada will not put this man to death. Some of them are known to Gabriel Warmen and were targeted while. I was not known.

What goes on with people? It's very rare they survive. It's very rare they survive. They usually shoot themselves to get shot by the cops. It's true. Do we have a picture of them? They're always white, aren't they? You want to see him?

Yeah, I don't know why. They never, they stopped putting pictures out. Ever since the Dylan, the, the, Dylan, Pleebold, the kid in the, the kid in the, the dark night shooting in Aurora. Yeah, they don't want. Yeah. Anyways. Not telling Cleveland,

it was a different guy. That was the guy. After that happened, how old were you when that happened? I don't know. When did that happen? Collin'clock, and we were so,

our school got shut down. Oh, by the way, everybody, just really quickly as a side note, I know that we were saying 71 inches was 5.9. That's what the fucking computer says. What it meant was it was 5.9 of 6.

Yes, everyone's saying that. I'm 511. I'm 511. No, you're 5.9. Yeah, 5. That's the shooter? No, no. This guy here is this.

Yeah, of course. God, what a piece of shit. Dude, do people just go crazy or is he always wanted a deal? Something's got a snap, right? Doesn't something to snap? He's a dentist? Oh, my God. Denturist.

That's so weird. So you've got to wonder with this shutdown, right, did it affect his ability, like, was he on medicine? Would he kill more? That's what I mean. Did he go? Would he kill more if it was in the quarantine? Maybe. I don't know.

Or did he, is he just what happened? Is it like that he didn't have a dog? Does a man go mad? Does he go mad because his hair line? Maybe. But maybe he just went crazy. He went mad. And maybe he just couldn't, like, maybe he was on a medicine he couldn't get.

Like, maybe there was something that sparked this. You're a fucking mental health professional? I do a lot of work with more psychiatry than psychology. Oh, okay. Because I study the brain. I'm more neurology. Psychology. Yeah, psychologist is kind of like bitchwork.

I do, like, I look in the brain and see what's up. He was obsessed with the mountain. He's had alcohol problems. Oh, his business was shut down because of coronavirus. Well, you know that campaign ad that's coming. He was just a normal dangerous. I know. He was shut down by coronavirus.

See what happened? I know. Open society. Just pregnant a shout with a thumbs up. Hey, dude. We got manscated and we got mountain bikes right there. Two things that we deal with. Yep.

That's what happens. What's going on? We'll specialize too. Are they listening to us? Well, Jim probably researched it. I Google. They probably. go.

I get some current events. Let me pee out of mine. Sure. Go piss. Thanks. Out of your cock. Let's do some current events. Current events with Tim, Timmy, Timmy, Dylan, the virologist.

So you guys talked about this earlier, but the actor, Ansel El Gort, the other day. Is he Hannah Montana's boyfriend? No. That's a other guy. That's very similar, right? Or no. They all look the same. You're right.

Carry on. They don't have kind of a look. All right, carry on. He posted this photo. which was taken by his dad, I believe. And he had, in the caption, OnlyFans, link in bio. And when you click on the link, it's actually a GoFundMe page that'll help Brooklyn-based nurses get food during this pandemic.

I'm about to do this, but I'm going to take a picture to me in the shower, and my hogs in me kind of like that. And I'm going to go, OnlyFans only clicking the bio, it's going to be my thick boy t-shirts. Yeah, that's good. I'm going to buy, man. That's kind of uncool if it's just use your dick. No, I'm going to be bent over,

and I'm a bulldog my nuts out the back and you'll click on the profile. That's me of my shirt. I'm going to do that. No, have it like this. You will be squeezing. I'll be squeezing your balls and cock like this with two hands.

You're going to bubble them up? Yeah, so it's all bubbled up. Like that, like this. And say, who's into brains? And say who's into brains and bat wings. Like that. And then we'll say, oh, fans only. Just says brains and bat wings

and just let them figure it out. Fansonly.com. And then click on thick boy shirts. Yep. And Tim has taken a dump in the toilet behind us. Let's do it. Smart. Good idea.

Well, that's tight. He raised money, though. Yeah. I love it. The four-story down was Ansel Al Gore. It's spotted dancing at slave play party. It's like, there was a show on Broadway about slavery and at the end of the party. I guess he was dancing. It's like, oh, maybe you miss the man.

It's just kind of hilarious, like just being out being like, party. It's called a slave play and it's fucking great. I saw that play. This guy, he looks, he's a good-looking dude, but he looks a little, he goes a little crazy. Where is he from, Sweden? He's from a socialite family in New York. City. His dad's a big photographer. Ansel Elgert.

Ansel. What a fuck. Oh, Ansel. Ansel. Ansel. I do a bit where I go, I'm dating Ansel Elgo. Is he an ad. And then the next day I go, Anselaer broke up with me. And then I dated and do it again. I go, we're back together. I've been doing it for a year.

Nothing. Just the idea that he would tweet it. Because, like, listen to this. I tweet. I'm now in a relationship with Little Zan. Little Zan tweets it, retweets it, and then follows me. Really? Yeah. But he doesn't know what he's. He's doing the way he is. Zan is just,

Zan is a phenomenal human being. That's Spider-Man. Is Oncel. That's Spider-Man? He's an actor. No, he's not Spider-Man. Really? No, that's Tom, whatever.

So what is he? Is he a socialite this kid? No, no, he's an actor. He's a baby driver. He's in everything. He's a legit actor. No, that's a different thing. He's a good actor.

He loves himself. He's very into him. Hey, I like when Rogen was like, dude, uh, what do you say? Bill Gates is going to hit you up, man. You say in the show, you're like, I hope he hit him. I hope me and Bill Gates are in a big fight. But no, he's right about that I should watch myself.

But the reality is I'm a comedian. I'm here to bring levity to a troubled world. Yes. That's your reality. You also use facts. And I use facts. And I know stuff because I'm a smart boy. Yeah.

But, you know, cross-reference. Who used to be a Native American woman slash before you were Chinese. Yes. And the reality is I... You should have just kept saying to Rogan? Watch. Watch. Watch.

Watch. Watch. Dude, no one that I grew up with is ever spoken with a fact. no one's ever That's how we started the show Yeah like we have no fat I did that on me and Rogan used to say stuff And then people would fucking go

Oh dude we get death threats over our Corona talk Jay gets them all the time They just email really? Jay goes we're getting so many death threats on Corona man Death threats Jay who? About what about the We're not saying not to be careful

You get death threats over that? Oh you met Jay We're not saying not to be careful though We're just Dallas Dallas What are they saying Just that we should be We hope you die Oh

people are out of control we're not trying to be we're not taking it lightly we're just not I'm not doing anything I shouldn't do I'm going to Bristol Farms once a week I'm doing podcast but I'm not going out and being stupid I go to bath houses and that's it and I belong to a wrestling club I go to L.A.X and just make videos I make videos in the ER at Cedars I don't do anything crazy no you know crazy stuff

how great was it with me Whitney Cummings brought the food to the nurses and then snapped a photo of ourselves doing it it. That's funny. It's great because that's why we did it. It's important to this reality. It's the only reason. Tim, it's the truth. The reality is, I would not

have done, like if we didn't take the photo, I would never have done it. What else you got, Tim? Oh my God. Okay, so a woman survived a bullet wound to the chest because of her fake implants. Her tits did it? Yep.

So a bullet went into the left side of her chest through the silicone, and the silicone actually ricocheted the bullet away from her heart through to her right breast. Allegedly, because we don't really know, but I like the story. Yeah, but she... Or she just got hit on the side where, you know what I'm saying? Her chestlights at? Yeah. You're a hater, huh?

No, she just got hit very far from her heart and the bullet. Well, it looks like that breast implants punctured. Yeah. Could have... That is an implant, man. Yeah, that's an implant. But yeah. Hey, scroll up because on the site it said,

teen from breast implants gets brain damage. Boob job allegedly left Colorado teen brain damage. Well, you're a teen, why are you getting your boobs done? That's what they get them done. Is that cat sister? Just kidding. Jesus. Boob job allegedly.

Damn, that's terrible. How bad is it brain damage now? Well, it could be something up with the anesthesia. The things go wrong. Listen, she gets to have a pretty good life. She could probably have a pretty good life if she just smiled and nod. Well, she's beautiful. She's super hot.

There's a lot of dudes. 18, too. Give it up. That's an advertisement for a lot of dudes. She's brain damaged, big tits. Nice looking. Tim, you're being super insensitive right now. Well, she guys got.

So the mayor of New York City actually set up a line where you can text photos of people who are breaking social distancing. And that line has been flooded with dick tics. De Blas has a piece of shit. He sucks. What a bitch. Dude, I... Dick bits and Hitler memes? He's...

Yeah, he's literally calling all of this. De Blasio is a fucking donut, man. He is. He sucks, and I'm glad that this happened. I fucking hate that guy. I hate society becoming rats. Is there anything worse? Nothing worse.

Did people ratting? Well, the governor and, you know, they asked for it here, too, in California. Oh, Gavin? Yeah, Gavin. Yeah, Gavin. They said a snitch on your fellow neighbor. And Garcetti and Gavin. That's what they all said to snitch on your neighbor.

Look at De Blasio. Look at that. Maybe they say, yeah, hey, thanks for making a safe, but setting up a snitch line. You are a snitch, you're a snitch, you probably went to the teacher all the time. I fucking hate that guy. He tax you 75%. People are really angry about this.

He's a fucking socialist. He wants to. Yeah, I know. He wants to. Oh, yeah, yeah, a piece of shit. He sucks, man. He's a socialist. Yeah, but California government doesn't want to do the same thing. And it didn't go, people don't respond well through it. Snitch on our neighbors. Don't snitch.

Do you have a couple bitches that do it? Someone took my picture at the coffee shop, but I don't have a mask on. But most people, they don't like this. He got a lot of fucking blowback and should have, and they shut it down after all the cockpicks and the good. Good. Good. Good America. Well, another reason why people were angry about this is because a couple days before

he launched this line, he was caught at a gym working out. Yeah, of course. He's a fucking, he's a tyrannical piece of shit. He acts like he's all liberal. He's just the worst. They're all liars. This is what my thing with the government is. I don't trust anybody because I know the people that rise

to these positions for the most part. A lot of these people are, you know, you don't want to trust them. Oh, I agree. These are social. Even to get into politics, I'm not going to trust you. Yeah, dude. I mean, I'm like, you're an ugly actor, dude.

I love how, I love that. They were like, you've never, you've never had to run a business where you had to make your own money. Yeah. I run a huge business. And he was in New York City. He's mentally ill.

Here's a problem, dude. You don't have to come up with a profit motive. You get paid regardless. And you don't run New York City dummy. You make decisions, but what are you out of your mind? New York City's been running itself for a while. Last year I was...

You're wrong with you. He's just... Last government official I trusted with JFK, we saw how that ended, didn't we? Straight up, dude. I go even before that. The last guy I trusted was Warren Harding. The last man that...

Because he put a casino in the White House. That's a guy I trust. I trust him. That's a guy who goes, we're not even playing around anymore. Dude, how about Obama put a basketball court in, though? Yeah, well, that's... I kind of trust him for a second. Yeah, but that's...

Blank. Tim? What did you say, Tim? I said that's an interesting way to do it. I heard you say black, Tim. It is a black move to put a basketball court. Obama is half black. Some would say the blackest. You know? There's nothing wrong with that. A white guy

would have put a golf thing in. We should all do what we do. What else you get, Jen? Didn't you do a commercial rap recently? Who did? You? Rap report. Oh, yeah. I was like, I did a rap. Yeah. Check it out.

Me and rap port. You were on set for this, B. I just got there, but I didn't say. see it. All right, so what is this? Yeah, so this is the script that I rewrote. We're just playing ourselves. But I don't like the word in here. Like the word like this is angry, uptight, jerk. Yeah. That's not who I am.

You know who I am in real life. Yeah, you're great. So then, like, you're doing your thing, you're being Michael Rapporteur. What thing? Do you know him, Tim? Not personally. I judged a roast next one once. I'm being Michael Rappaport. Do we not speak like when there's cameras? I've seen a movie. He's very funny.

He's a lot. You would love him. You guys would get along. Yeah. I'll bring in the Pure Spectum CBD. Right? And then I just drop in your mouth like a little baby bird. You take it and then you just...

It chills me out. You're good. Okay, so at what point do you want me to chill? You know what? I don't like the way this is going. And you see this? Your words, see this? This is cool walking off a set.

Did that hurt you hit in your chest? Why you're here, bro. Why I'm here is I'm walking off the set, so I'm not here. That's good. Now I'm going to play. That's what I like. The angry guy. Hell yeah, dude.

Larry Bird's Angry Brother. That's perfect, man. I love Redport. You guys would get along great, man. Can I get some? Sometimes I get a lower back thing, and I don't want to take over-the-counter anti-inflammatories. Can I get some CBD cream or something? I'll do it, yeah.

I have a whole package for you. Because I just, I want to, sometimes get a lower back thing. I don't want to take over-the-counter anti-inflammatory because they're bad. They lower your immune system, all kinds of problems. I got you, Doug. So I'd like to do a little CBD. I got you. I got you.

Pay somebody with strong hands who's got the antibodies. Yeah. Good point, me. All right. All right. All right. We got some good news. stories today.

You see this one? Spanish taxi driver. So I guess he's been giving free rise for coronavirus patients to the hospital. And then the hospital and the nurses and doctors all applauded him when he got there and then surprise him with it.

They gave him a check? He gave him a check and also tested him and apparently he's negative. He's a very tall guy too. He's the tallest guy. Is he seven foot? I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick yet. Tim, who's working? Who's working?

Tim, who's working in the hospital? Is this disease happening? Why are they all doing TikTok? Why are they all clapping? Who's dying in a room right now? Because these people are clapping for this guy. You know how much the check was for? I don't.

But it's very sweet. We better find a vaccine already so I can go back there. Why is he playing for the Spanish basketball? No. And he was moved to tears, obviously. That's great, man. Now go back out there. catch it. Now get to work.

He just caught it standing in the yard. That is cool. That is cool. Hey. It's a good man right there. It's a good man. I'd like a few of those people to be at work. It's a reality. So you'd come down, break it up? I would go, guys, you would get to work. And you know what? That's right, Brent. Crenna's part of that.

No matter of retirement. Top of bay. Top of bay. What? Top of bay. That's so worried. Toma Bay. Toma Bay. You just realized this? Yeah, I just thought to.

Top of Bay. I don't really pay attention. No, I know. Patrick show, T. That's great. Tampa Bay. Tompa Bay. They're going to win the Super Bowl. They got Grunkowski.

Wow. They have such good players. They're winning the Super Bowl, man. Then they've just got Grunkowski. They're going to be such a bomb. Yeah, they're going to be beasts. Percy Harvin's going to go there soon. I feel like Gronk was so done with.

Isn't it weird? Because he had that video over the, like, a few. Yeah, we start crying. But they're thinking part of it's just Bill Check is such an asshole. No one's to play for him. Wow. So he was like, hold up. I can get out.

Demand a trade and went to Tampa Bay. And then Tom Brady posted this afterwards. Time to run a back, Rob. A little tired, but grunk reporting. That's hilarious. Great.

Well, I hope they won super well. You guys remember Sean Weiss, that dude from Mighty Ducks. Which one? He got all methed out. The fat one? This guy. Remember he was a Mighty Ducks star? Yeah, he was a fat kid.

Yeah, he was a fat kid. And then we saw this like pretty recently, a few months ago. He wants to try meth. And then his buddy, who's another actor, I guess, actor model, he helped him out a big time and then check him out right now. No, this is him now. Let's relax. Let's relax with good. Yeah, let's.

He looks a lot better. Dial good back. I would run if I show that guy in his street. That's a tough. Who's to say? It says meth bust finally looking healthy. Well, I think our definition of health. He's on the men.

Yeah, for sure. He looks a lot better. Who's his friend? He's like an actor. Who's the dime piece? He just wanted a picture next to the ugly guy. It's so funny to say that. I do see him like talking on news stations.

Yeah, he's a good looking good. But he seems like he's been helping out a lot though. You know after that shot was taken, the guy just looks. He goes, he's like, he's like not touching him. And then he goes like this. He goes, we're good? We're good. He goes, okay.

He just backs away. He's right in a car and leaves. You'll see you next week, same spot? Yeah. Nats, man. Man, tough times. This is cool. The Venice canals had a jellyfish swim through it.

This is real cool. The only thing we had to do is destroy the world economy. I know what I mean? If I see one more of these videos, I'm going to go insane. I'm going to club a dolphin with a fucking bat. If one more idiot goes, now we have dolphins into canals. The people in Venice are about to eat their relatives. They have no money.

And I mean, it's just like, it's just the idiocy of like wealthy environmentalists, like these L.A. people in Malibu being like, isn't it nice that the dog? It's like, shut up. But look out where that water is, Tim. I know. Beautiful. Yeah, but I'd much rather have it murky and people have jobs.

Yeah, straight up, dude. I mean, this is not a good tradeoff. Like, people keep talking about the environment. We're reset in the environment, though. Give me a little bit of a break, you know? New Delhi is the shit, though. New Delhi is like the most polluted city of all time. And it's like they had a civet hadn't been seen in 50 years running through the streets.

That's great. This is going viral. This girl looks like J-Lo. She's a bodybuilder. Wow. That's fine J-Lo? That's not J-Lo. No, that's J-Man.

Get the fuck out of me. It's actually like a feminine-looking girl. This picture looks super buffing. Let me see some more pics of her. All right. That's her right there. I guess you know what to make-up and stuff. Yeah, she's also got a hot.

That's her on the left? No. There's another picture of her. Another. Dang, she is hot. Well, that one she looks like J-Lan, the rest she doesn't. Yeah, yeah. Don't even wrong.

She's a fucking smoke show. She kind of looks. like her there. Let me see her in the next picture. You know, Jaylo's about to buy the mats, right? Of course, right? You know she's about to buy the mats? Her name right. Look at the, look at the shapes. You like that, huh? You're going to get food. All she's missing for you is a giant cock.

She's a little too muscular, but I like that. That is a, yeah. Too muscular. She's like a mussel. I like it. And that's the most, oh, she'll take. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm, I'm a fan. She's super hot. That was two years ago. Yeah. Throwback. So she was buffered then, I guess. And that's what she looks like now. Her face is. I like the way she looks now. She's a little two shreds that he for me.

All right. This is a very sweet one. This is a World War II veteran. And then his care, she's 17 years old. She gave him a gift. I guess he would always go to sleep with a photo of his wife who passed away nine months ago. So this is his care giving him a gift.

She gave him a head. Damn it, Tim. Gotta ruin everything. I got you a present. I got you a present. What's that, darling? The pillow of his wife. They're going to find out she's taking $40,000

checking account. They stole his car? She takes his card every day, and she takes us $600. But she doesn't have for years. Yeah, sad. Show us what you've got, Ken. Let me see, what are you? Oh, my God.

How beautiful. What I do you? He's taking a photo over when she was younger. That's a great fucking gift. I know, so sweet. She's 17 years old. She thought of this. It's a simple gift.

Oh, man. Come in. Oh, man. There's another, I posted a sweet one of this little kid. He's a toddler. He has Down syndrome. And he's freaking out during the quarantine. And then they bring his newborn brother to the dad.

And it finally gets him to calm down. I guess he's just been freaking the fuck out during quarantine. Is that your Instagram? It's on Twitter. Oh, it's on your Twitter. Wow. It's super sweet, though, man. It's a pretty handsome picture of you there, Brenner.

Which one? Change your Instagram pick. Yeah, I should do that. There it is. Keep scrolling out. There it is. First time in his brother, look. They say they can't get him to calm down.

Finally, his newborn brother comes. Look. Oh, God. That's cute as shit. Is that crazy? That's cute as shit. That's crazy. That's very, very cute and sad.

Especially you have kids. Here's what I said Because it's the quarantine And what are you gonna And was very sad Is The father looked at the kid With Don syndrome

He looked at the other kid He's like He did this one I feel like you're I feel like you're ruining Right No I feel like you're ruining You're ruining these sentimental videos

Tim I'm here to provide A small amount of levity In a world that's gone mad Really I know I don't know I listen I wish

I wish everyone the best. Sort of. I thought that the stimulus should have been more. Give them more. The stimulus ain't helping nobody. That ain't help but nobody. $1,200. This is the last one.

This is Nature is middle, obviously. And this is a snake eating a rat, but the rat eating its way out of the snake. Oh, my God. And the snake is still moving, too. Holy shit. How crazy is that? What a badass rat. Is that a rattlesnake?

Yeah. Is this Santa Monica? I don't know where it is. Santa Clarita? Oh, yeah. They're out. Oh, it's a gopher snake. Dude, yesterday on my bike, I heard two rattles snakes.

Scary shit, man. See, now, how does his hand? I don't know. Yeah, I really loved it. I would help that rat out. Oh, you know, the rat died already. I would pull the rat out. The rat's dead?

Yeah, but he was chewing its way out and finally it chewed its way out and died. I don't want to see a rat. Nobody wants to die that way. We're stuck with a fucking snake. But it's a rat, though, you know? Yeah, you got to let him go. The snake is still a lot, too. But he did a good job.

He did a good job. So he killed the snake. A rat's probably going to die. And then I fucking pull that I'd pull that rat's head right out of that It's too dangerous I let nature do its thing Not for me it's not

I let nature do its thing No I sniff that fuck and that's why I carry scissors with me It says Mr. Nibbles died in the process But he can rest easy So one of the things I had a fucking When I had my pythons Oh they both died Yeah they had my pythons

They used to say Oh be careful because the rat If it's a big enough rat It can kill your snake Oh I told you my buddy's in college They had a boat constrictor And they go hey man We're on vacation

Can you feed the snake? I went, yeah, no doubt. So I go to the pet store and they go, we don't have any mice, man. We have this rat. I went, I'll take that fucking rat. Dude, I tossed that rat in there, went home.

Two weeks later, they came back from vacation. Well, that rat ate the snake, dude. It bit his head off and ate the snake. They come in, the rat was all. Who else wants some? Yeah. Raids. Don't fuck around.

They were so mad at me. Yeah. I had no idea. I was like, I'll take the whole love that rat. I'll be more specific. What do you want? I'm not a herpetologist. Tim Dillon.

They didn't know what I was doing with it. They go, we have rats on them. I'll take that thick ass rat. That'll keep them fed from cats. You grow up with pets? I had a couple of cats. My mother said she was allergic to dogs, which was probably a lie. You know what I mean?

A liar. I always wanted a dog. I might get one now because I thought I was going to be in the road every week, so I wouldn't need one. But now I might get one. Because then when you go back on the road, you can just leave it all the time. That's smart. Wow. That's why I may not get one.

I might foster one for a month or two, a few months. He's got a text with my buddy who's going to get a dog. But he wants to germ or something that's not going to bite but it looks like he's going to bite. Yeah. So sometimes with police dogs, they'll get a dog that after training after like 10, 11 months, they find it's just a dud. It's too nice. It's not going to bite you. It's too nice.

And those are great to put with families, but they're really smart. Meanwhile, though, there's still, you can train him to do anything. So my buddy's like, oh, wow, one. 15 grand. And he's like, I'm not paying that much. He got ripped off. 15. He got ripped.

Yeah, but that dog will do everything. That dog will do calc derivatives for you. That's crazy, man. You're so smart. Is that it? That's it. Those were good. Tim, thanks for being brave.

Thanks for having me. Yes, sir. I appreciate it. Where can they find you, dude? Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon show on YouTube and wherever you get podcasts. And also Tim J. Dylan, D-L-L-O-N.

at Instagram, Twitter, you know. Great. You got to make a shirt that says facts. I should. You're a beast. Well, I appreciate that. You want to have the facts. Thank you.

I have the facts, man. I put the work in. I do my due diligence. Yeah. And I don't spout off about nonsense. That's the main thing. That's the main thing. We appreciate you.

We love you, man. Thank you for having me, guys. I appreciate it. Is that it? That's it, buddy. Give me your dates, B. We don't have any. Spokane.

Spokane. Me and Brenner actually went on sale, TFACA.com. Yeah, we're going to be that. Last weekend of June, get them, Spokane. Let's get your mind rights. This is the fighting kid. We're out.