The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Ep 655 Bryan Callen
Episode Date: April 19, 2026Wrinks is back! The guys catch up on life and talk conspiracy theories, web sleuths, Bryan running for governor, Jon Jones at heavyweight, Tim Kennedy, Sam Tripoli, Steve Byrne, adderall, box...ing, Dana White/Gina Carano controversy, Bryan's shark attack sighting and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Yeah, yeah.
T-Fat K. Z.
It's the fighter and the kids.
Pete Fack Kate, put a seat on the end.
Bringing Malick and Chappelle, everybody going in.
Wake up early in the morning, press playing.
Let's get it in.
Because we rocking with the fight.
Put a seat on the end.
You are now tuned in to the fighter and the kids.
It just got a lot more wrinkly in here.
You guys are surprised because I still got it.
I'm still fucking
popping.
That's a fact.
Now this is going to hurt.
It's going to hurt a little bit.
Do you only drive
with the windows down?
Because your face is...
Leathered.
Just...
Leathered face?
Right there, dude.
I want to talk about your weathered face.
Yeah.
You get a little skinnier, bro.
Yeah, you're skinny.
You know what the diet is?
What?
Stress.
Because I've been there.
What's that diet?
I need to know what's up.
Here's what's up.
Here's what's up.
Go ahead.
I was in Dallas.
I went to Dallas,
do a little louder with Crowder.
Okay.
And, um...
Was it louder?
It was louder.
You face on me from the...
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
What?
What?
What's going out of your face?
Are you talking about this?
Oh,
I dip now.
I dip now.
Hey, have you ever seen...
It's been mad for something.
Yeah, it should.
Hey, have you...
You're dipping while you're podcasting now.
Oh, yeah.
Welcome...
Welcome to the show.
Welcome to the show.
I wasn't going out.
My shit.
shit changes.
Same.
The room got darker.
About a year.
Room did get darker.
You got darker.
You got darker.
You got Jamar neighbors on.
And I was like, this is a very black show.
It was me.
Just all black guys.
Yeah.
It's true.
First, this is well documented.
It's well documented.
Yeah.
Now, well, I'm a little skinny because got to Dallas and all of a sudden it was a blizzard, you understand.
Oh, yeah.
Couldn't find a car to rent or anything else.
And then I got to my hotel room.
And while the power went out and there was no heat.
Yeah.
Not even Dallas.
It was on, it was the outskirts.
And then there was no heat.
And then I, and then, so I had to eat Pringles in the dark.
And all the restaurants were closed.
And I found a McDonald's, don't eat.
eat McDonald's.
You eat McDonald's?
No, he doesn't eat it.
I don't.
But I was because I was starving.
Got it.
And there were 36 cars in line.
Because the only thing open.
It was the only thing open.
What did you get Daddy?
So Daddy didn't get McDonald's.
Daddy went home.
Oh yeah, too long away.
I'd rather starve.
And then I tried to do this.
I was like, you know what?
You're hungry.
You're in the dark.
I'm going to meditate.
Oh, yeah.
Because your stomach goes, you know what?
We're not hungry.
Watch.
Watch how it went.
I went like this.
Fuck it
Fuck it
Starving meditating
Hi cat
Oh wait
Chin
What up bro
This is good
Few things
Have you ever seen Austin Powers
I'm like number two
And he's Dr. Evil
It's like you were frozen
And then you come back
And I'm like
Well the business
We made
300 million a year
We can make up to $3,000
Let's steal him for one million
Now you were great
Thank you buddy
You still look younger
Some of my favorite people.
Things are a little different.
Kat has an only fans now, and she doesn't need us anymore.
And you make some money.
I make some money.
Now, on your only fans, you get a little risque, or is it just feet?
It's more risque than my Instagram, but I'm not nude or anything.
You're not.
No.
Well, it's only been three months, so.
It's only been a month.
It's only been a month.
It's only been a month.
Just a month.
Just a month.
What would I, for real, do you think?
You'd make zero dollars.
No, no.
Hold on.
Zero.
That's not what you were.
I don't mean.
I know where you're going.
Zero.
Listen,
I mean.
Because everyone does this.
Ching goes,
should I do it?
I think it would be a good idea.
Are you a small Asian girl?
Big Asian.
Big Asian.
Just have your feet, dude.
Chingos,
do you think I do only fans
like play the guitar on them?
I'm like,
you have your dicks out.
Get that big thing out.
Yeah,
if you get a harmonica with your dick out.
Dixing.
Chat roulette.
Just check.
Everyone's chat.
Remember that?
Everyone thinks they can do what cat does.
My girl's like, should I do an only girl?
I'm like, well, no.
Please don't.
I'm going to have a 54-year-old white guy.
Regular guy.
He's 5-11, maybe, 170.
That's a dick on him, though.
I do have a dick on me, huh?
And then after that.
Hey, but here's a thing.
I was going to walk past.
A couple of great pubes.
Yeah, you have great.
Of course.
Things have changed since I've been gone.
Yeah.
But your only fans, I bet,
would come out the gate hot and then after
like it's just a dick pick every week
man yeah it's just this old big
great dick like running naked
boxing naked you know spinning boxing
naked oh I'm with him I'm with
them I'm with them on you know what I mean
you and I in mass
oh yeah
both
no no no I didn't say that
I'm not yeah
Malikry
yeah you guys like get a little tussle
they did a little tussle
you got a rassel
you got a wrestle a little bit
when when somebody corners you got a rassel
a little bit a little bit
Got some arms on you, too.
Yeah, I'm gaming weight.
All right, don't do that.
I'm gaming weight.
I get this.
I get a video from him, and it just goes, hey, bro, my back now?
He just, oh, no.
No, because, listen, I'm glad we got, what is it?
What are we now?
Ectomorph.
They call us an Ectomor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, more so you than me.
All right.
I'm a meso mor.
All right.
These guys, they own this, like, 90-day, the other-weight diet going on.
Yeah.
And he's losing, like, 20 pounds, and he's down.
I can see the difference right now.
But I'm coming up to 200.
What?
Yeah.
But why?
Yeah, why do you need 200?
Well, because I never hit the two club.
You just want to get part of two clubs.
Is that easy for you?
I can respect that.
Nice easy.
You know what you're doing.
You know what I'm doing.
Two something to do something.
He's only been, you know, when you've only been boxing, you're thin.
Yeah.
But you're, your midsection here, which is what I would work if we actually got into it.
It doesn't matter.
You're like it.
There's not leg cakes involved.
I use my feet?
Wait, what?
Yeah.
Brennan will back me up.
Just don't let me use my feet.
Now, if it's straight boxing,
you'd beat the...
You beat the...
You beat the green.
You'd be able.
Although...
Well, although...
Well, no, I've seen...
You've shown me that video.
No, no, no.
I can't box.
But it's true that there's nothing I'm doing.
You're a little too loose with a term
I can fight box.
Like with Jamar neighbors, he goes,
but you can fight too.
And Jamar goes, well, not like him.
No.
It's a very...
He's a little loose with it.
Brennan one said to me,
I was with him.
I was working out with Tauric, and I tried to spar with him, and I didn't do anything.
I got beat up, and I was frustrated.
And Brendan said, Ryan, you can straight up box, and you were complimenting me.
Yeah.
And that was very nice.
But I can't.
Now, now, having said that, I will take it to Nigeria.
What?
Okay.
I get a text from him.
No, I'm taking from Nigeria.
Why are you going to after them, man?
Because I can.
I get it.
Let him explain.
Let him explain.
You've got a point.
You've been hearing around too many white guys.
It's what I do a lot of times in like the third round when I'm getting peppered up as I go,
it's time to take them in Nigeria.
Now what does that mean?
I have an educated Nigerian jab.
I study.
There you go.
I study.
Oh, thank God.
Thank God that came for a little.
It was.
It was.
I got a Texas thing.
I was going to take you the whole time, right?
I knew where you could go.
We go in Nigeria.
Take back your roots.
Whop that ass.
Whoa.
Oh.
It's February.
How dare you back to your roots?
It's February, you son of a bit.
We'll take back your roots.
I know what I'm going to do.
I'll take back your roots.
Got some old things.
Uh-uh.
You know, you're hanging out with Crowder too much.
Uh-uh.
But I got to say, well, anyway, you're quietly impressed with my jab.
And, um...
You got some decent hands, Lee.
I got nothing.
I got nothing.
But I do like working out with you.
What have you been doing, Brian?
The big and hungry podcast.
Besides you and me talking to each other every day.
By the way, and that's the other thing.
Just so everybody knows.
You know, people say, you know, are you and Brennan talking?
What happened?
We talk every day.
You would talk three times a day.
Understand this.
We talk every day.
And I don't think we've taken a day off.
Never.
And we always, it's always.
And we're a couple gossip queens.
Oh, yeah.
Whatever's going on.
Well, I'll get a text.
So I'll miss his call, and then we go, got gossip, call me.
Bing, what's up, man?
It's just a regular call.
Like, I put it off.
Bing, what he got for me.
Immediately.
Our favorite thing is to go bad.
If it's a good friend, we'll go even worse.
Oh, yeah.
But I don't know why people would assume that you and I, what, we hate each other?
It's the craziest thing.
Well, they just didn't know what was going on.
But I want to thank you guys for holding the foretown.
Oh, thank you.
Doing a great job.
Thank you.
It's a true fucking honor.
Like I tell everybody, like you're a big reason why I fucking moved out to L.A.
I remember that day you gave me a guest spot back in Phoenix,
and you were like, yo, get out of here.
You don't need to be.
Well, you were so good.
I think I'm never wrong about talent.
Never.
Yeah.
I saw it in him, saw it in you, but you already had it.
You didn't need me, and I saw it in him.
Yeah.
You know, the people that I think are worth it are, you know, I just know.
And it's very rare.
And it's more than talent.
It's something different.
But you're quite the Renaissance, man.
You got skateboarding.
You got drums when you're playing a rock beat.
Beat more white.
I mean, sometimes like, hey.
I swear there's two black guys on this show.
I'm watching it.
I hit like a fucking, like a counting crows beat.
Fucking.
That's good.
You any JZ over there?
It's great.
Yeah, yeah, man
Yeah, man, I've been holding it down.
What's that?
So I've been holding it down.
Yeah, listen, I've been with Sam Tripoli.
I'm doing that conspiracy social club.
It's so fun.
Which I love.
Everything's a conspiracy.
Well, he thought of it.
But you, like, debunk it.
I do.
Well, Shob called me up and said, I got it.
I got this idea.
Yeah.
You're going to,
Tripoli's going to hit you with conspiracy theories,
and you're going to debunk.
The problem is it's, it's, when you're arguing
It takes off.
I love Sam.
I want people.
I love Sam.
He's the only guy.
My idea for the show,
you know,
a lot of comics,
like,
I just can't right now
with you guys,
can't right now.
Sam's like,
I'll do it.
Hell yeah.
He's the fuck.
He's the best.
And then I mean,
yeah,
and so,
but the problem with Sam
is that if you go,
but Sam,
I can Google that's not true.
He goes,
Google's bullshit.
Where do I go?
He used like duck,
duck, duck,
duck, go.
What's that?
But it's like a conspiracy where they can't track your shit, I guess.
But everything to Sam's a conspiracy.
Like if you show up eating M&Ms, we're like,
you eat blue M&Ms?
Yeah, he's like, you don't know about those?
You're like, no?
He's like, Bush, man.
Actually, I have a-
But the conspiracy theorists, what it comes down to is this.
I believe most of the shit that goes on
is due to incompetence, ambition, stupidity, miscalculation.
Okay.
And I don't think that anybody, I don't think anybody has enough power to control all the strengths,
because there are just too many competing interests, even within an administration.
Yeah.
But conspiracy theories believe that people are way more organized than I do.
Correct.
They believe that people are, number one, the people at the top are evil.
Yep.
They're all evil.
And they're really well organized.
And they are interested mainly in evil outcomes or at least control.
And all of them.
And they all talk.
That's what they think they all communicate.
I think it's like a secret society.
Yeah, but to your point, I think the prompt, like, conspirators, like, they put,
they almost give too much credit to the government stuff because they make mistakes, man.
A lot of mistakes.
Look at Cuomo.
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Look at the miscalculation.
He killed a lot of people, but it's like, yes, I know, I don't think that was a political, you know.
That's not his agenda.
No. Because he can get recalled now.
No, he's fucked.
He's super, you know.
He hit it.
Gavin Newsom, who kept this shut down.
There's a recall going on.
I know.
He's miscalculation.
They don't want that.
No.
There wasn't some big plan to do all this.
They just, at the time, they thought in their head that was the right move.
And everyone was like, oh, it's a conspiracy.
So they think there's something behind.
Everything.
Yeah.
Like, conspiracy, I think it's funner than the truth.
Like, did you watch that on Netflix?
We talked about this little cat, the, the CISO Hotel one.
Yeah.
So have you seen the video of that weird girl in the hotel?
I saw it.
She was obviously mentally disturbed.
She climbed in. Clearly.
And she died.
But how much fun, like, obviously, the CISO Hotel has a history.
People died there.
That guy who was a morbid.
I know who lost his career.
I know poor guy.
Wait, what happened?
There was a musician who he's like a dark musician.
Think Marilyn Manson times 10.
He's really, not as talented.
He's really dark.
Like me dark?
No, I mean like dark like inside.
He's Mexican, but he like talks about death and killing.
Like he seemed like a, he's a guy who's like an artist.
Yeah, he's not a bad guy.
He was at the hotel a year prior, a year prior.
And all the conspiracy theorists were like, he stayed there.
He was there the same time.
So they bombard his page.
Oh, really?
Like, you fucking, you killed her and all this stuff.
He's like, holy shit.
He's like, dude, I have passports.
I have studio documents.
Say, I was here when she was killed.
I was there a year ago.
Oh, so they blamed it on that.
It ruined his career.
It doesn't do music.
Because it sounds better.
He got cyber bullied.
The conspiracy theory.
But even the cops are like, man, I know like all these conspirators.
She's like, but you're not cops.
Like, there's information that we can't leak to that we have.
Right.
That we know you.
You're a web sleuth.
Yes.
A web sleuth.
Yeah.
And that's awesome.
First of all, you've got to get a job.
Yeah.
How do you get me?
And they talk to this YouTuber who's balls deep in the seats of hotel.
And he's like, you know, from my calculations, like, well, you're not a detective.
And the cops said that.
Cops said, there are things we don't release for the family's sake.
Yeah.
We don't want to tell you.
Oh, yeah.
Like she had horrible mental issues.
And her sister told the detective.
She's a lot of men.
Yeah.
Yeah, but for bipolar.
Her sister goes,
she's had these issues before these episodes where she goes crazy,
think somebody's trying to kill her,
and they're like, oh, that's what was going on there,
because she didn't have her medication.
She's doing the shit in the elevator,
and then she thinks someone's trying to kill her,
try to escape into the water fucking thing,
and then goes inside there.
And, like, why don't people listen to her family then?
It's not fun.
Exactly.
That's not interesting.
But the problem with believing in conspiracies like that,
or in the fun thing
is that you're missing the actual threat.
You know, the real threat we're facing,
I think in this country is this polarization
between Magaville and Wokeville.
And, you know, the media
makes a lot of money
getting that, keeping those divisions,
keeping those two groups,
those two vils fighting.
But they're both extreme,
but I think the majority of people are in the middle.
Yes, they're in the middle.
the right, the loudest, and the left of the right make the headlines and left and right are on social media.
And you can purify your record chamber too, though.
99% of people are in the middle.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, like, I might be a Democrat.
I might be a Republican.
But I'm not them or I'm not them.
Or how about this?
I'm a Republican.
I'm a Democrat.
I'm a centrist depending on the issue.
Give me the issue.
What the fuck?
I'm not choosing a team.
Yeah, you can't do that.
It's too complicated.
Let me, let me be responsive to the evidence, you know?
That's what I think is the big worry.
I really do.
And I think that the media, some of elements media are ideologically aligned to the far left because of the way they've been educated and you have the reaction on the other side.
And if you start playing identity politics, I don't want to break people into groups.
I don't like this talk.
I don't think it makes any sense.
I don't think it serves any of it.
It doesn't move us in the right direction.
Push people into groups like in prison yards.
Yes.
You got to join the white Aryans or the black brotherhood or the fucking.
You have to survive.
If you're, you want to make the United States.
a fucking, are we, is the United States a fucking painting?
Is it, if you want to study, if you're that obsessed with color, go to art school.
I don't want to talk about color.
I want to talk about potential and merits and who's the best person for the job.
Yeah.
Fuck, I got to run for, oh, I can't.
You thought about it?
Hey, get what you're running me?
I mean, I got to.
I feel like you could.
How about we start off with this?
How about governor?
I feel like you'd beat Newsome.
Yeah.
I don't have to say.
Hey, you know what?
You know what's so funny.
I know.
Hey, hey.
Hey.
No, not you can be honest.
Hey, you next to Newsome?
I know.
Well, you look like a weathered worm.
Wait, a weather worm?
The fuck.
You look like Pickle Rick who got caught in the heat.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Who got caught in heat.
And a weathered worm.
I come on.
I come back to my own.
And not 20 minutes go by.
I'm not called a weathered worm.
A fucking weathered worm
Picked heat.
In the heat?
He's only saying next to Newsom.
He's only saying next to Newsom.
Next to make me look like a turd with eyes.
He's such a good-looking dude, but bad.
Ryan Weathered Worm Callant.
Dude, every time he comes to with a nickname, I sell shirts.
You can have those.
My podcast was, you burn.
I call it Big and Hungry.
I saw that, dude.
I get this from Brendan.
Like, I'm excited.
Steve's fucking hilarious and it's great.
Yeah.
and drops every Monday, it's all good, but
Monday on YouTube and Apple?
Yeah, all over.
You replace him an Asian guy, I replace you two by you.
He goes like this, yeah.
Whatever.
He goes, I got a text from him.
He always like, he goes, hey, first of all, your fucking backdrop.
What is this?
And second of all, there's nothing big and hungry about a skinny Asian guy and a skinny white guy.
What the fuck are you doing?
I went like, I was, my girlfriend was there, and I went like this.
I go, ah, I don't know.
She goes, what's the matter?
I go, I'm nothing.
now I was in a sour mood because you were kind of right
yeah
I went Brian are you big or hungry
he goes no I'm it Steve
big or hungry
I was no I go
why is it called big and hungry
I'm thin and moderate
I'm not playing on old white guy in Asian
wait so why
a weathered worm
fuck that made me cry
huh
why big and hungry
because
no
my heart
there's my heart
it's nothing
my heart
Because you always have an explanation.
Welcome to Brian Marketing 101.
Yeah.
It just sound cool.
You know, it's just not in your wheelhouse.
It's not in your wheelhouse.
It's not in your wheelhouse.
You have so many skills.
When it comes to marketing, it's like, but no.
Bad at self-promotion.
Call your boy.
I know.
I got to call you.
But back to Sam and conspiracies, like, where it gets dicey is some conspiracies, I get
and I'm in on.
Yeah.
Like, I'll talk to Sam and Eddie, like, via group text.
And some of them, they'll tell you, like, hey, I can get with that.
Like JFK, 100% conspiracy, 110% mafia induced.
And then September 11th, kind of edging on the conspiracy a little bit there.
Read Lawrence Wright's book, The Looming Tower, though.
He does such an...
He breaks it down? Oh, I mean, there's a paper trail.
There's a CIA trail.
There's a Department of Defense Trail.
There's a trail to this.
There was a history of these suicide bombers by a group called Al-Qaeda.
I did that, which means the base in Arabic.
Where's my camera?
You know what I mean?
So you got to read those books and you'll go, again, it's like the CIA didn't bomb the United States.
But this is where I'm at with conspiracy.
It's like, if I hear that, it's like, all right, I'll read that.
Yeah, and it can change my mind.
Like, I'm not like Sam and Eddie.
I'm like, no, fuck, that guy's in on it.
That author's in.
I'm like, no, man.
All right, I'll read that.
But it is fun to believe.
Yeah, especially with Tower 7.
I mean, somebody gets sticy, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, again.
So, Osama had the contract license.
You don't think it's a conspiracy.
Not at all.
But I've interviewed, I've interviewed a lot of full-time conspiracy theorists, like the guy
who believes in Flat Earth.
How?
Now, he's in his, he's my age.
And that's so sad.
Does he have kids?
I believe so.
And then there was a guy who was a chem trail guy.
And what's very interesting is that if you're going to talk about chemtrails or if you're
going to talk about Flat Earth.
Yeah.
You might want to have.
have a background in some kind of a scientific discipline.
Even engineering would be cool.
Whatever.
I'll take whatever you got.
Chemical engineering.
Give me anything.
Whatever.
How about geology?
How about astrophysics?
I'll take it.
Whatever.
I'll take if you took a couple classes.
Astronology.
Anything.
Sure.
And what I get is I go, now, what's your educational background?
And immediately go, well, if you're going to ask me if I have a paper from some bullshit
institution.
So there we are.
So you've done your own.
You are a web sleuth.
Yeah.
But they all say this.
They all start with this.
They all say, they all say, I didn't, I didn't start as conspiracy theorists.
I didn't start believing in this, but I started looking into it.
That means you're educated by the internet.
You can confirm your bias.
Yeah.
And it's fun.
And it's fun.
But you get into cut.
You're on your heels, though.
You're on your heels once they go, I didn't get a bullshit degree from you.
Talking about that institution.
It's like, you mean college, dude?
No, no.
And then you're just like, all right.
Well, what happens also, though, is if you have a guy who's a full-time flat-earther.
Yeah.
They have a lot of information.
they're going to hit you with a thousand things.
I don't work on flat earth because don't believe it.
Well, because science and other things.
And so you're not a scientist,
so you're not going to be able to kind of,
you're not going to be able to mount some defense when they say,
have you ever seen a satellite with your own eyes?
Have you ever seen?
And you're like,
I don't know.
But that's what they do.
What about flight pattern?
But that's what they do.
Like, that's their thing.
So they're ready to whatever you have,
they have it in the chamber.
Well, I said when,
so you're not,
if you're not ready for the argument, man.
It looks like they know what they're talking about.
But when I said when you when you try to flight from here to Australia, you have to take
an account the curvature of the earth.
And he said, yeah, but a lot of pilots are speaking out about this now because they're just
being sent on secure.
Huh.
So they're being sent on routes that they're all in on it.
They're all in on it.
And also that all that fuel.
B, have you ever seen the, you should show us to Sam on your show.
There's a video of this.
He's a big flat earther.
And he's like,
he set a date. He's like, I'm going to prove it.
I'm going to get up before sunrise.
And he has this tool that shows like the earth.
He says it's going to show it just goes up and down and not like, and he's like with the curve.
And it curves and you just hear him go, oh, shit.
That's true.
Yeah, he goes, oh, shit.
And the camera shuts off.
You can also set up lasers.
You can shoot a laser through a hole.
If everything was flat, you could, you know.
And, you know, this guy, this flat or threatened.
Nice guy.
I don't want to out these guys.
No, they're idiots, though.
But he, but he, uh, it, apparently that, the laser was called.
Oh, tweet.
Oh, hey.
So sometimes things get tweaked.
See, I like, I like this, uh, use on World Star.
It says flatter.
So it gets a wake up call.
Flatter.
It's a great story.
I live on World Star.
But I shouldn't have to talk about it.
It's fun, though, right?
It was fun probably the first four episodes.
I love Sam.
Sam's the best.
Sam and I just bullshit.
Yeah.
Because he's not always conspiracy.
Sam.
Sam, Sam Trippoli is a great.
comic.
Legend.
He's fucking,
you know,
it's like Steve too.
Like I did a,
so we did a live podcast
in Nashville for Big and Hungry.
And Steve is on stage.
Now, Steve's been doing stand-up for 25 years.
And when you see that motherfucker
improvise with an audience,
you know,
I was watching him and I was like,
this is,
you'll love this guy.
I go, I look at him and I look at him.
I'm like,
this motherfucker is so good.
He's been doing this for 25 years.
So he's got a bag of tricks that is,
well,
it's bigger than Santa's back.
He can just pull out.
and just come up with whatever.
And then a guy named Theo Vaughn came on in the last 15 minutes.
You guys aren't ready for that smoke.
Smoke.
I mean, that dude will come on and just start saying crazy shit.
And if he's on, you're just like, oh, I don't have the same wavelength that he's on.
We do King of Sing sometimes and, like, you know, a guest will do a submission and he's just firing away.
I'm like, I just, my brain doesn't work like his.
Oh, my God.
Like his reference.
It's crazy, but it all makes sense.
Yeah.
And the references are.
So, yeah.
But interesting.
And like on the left field and you're like, oh.
He said to me, I was talking like this.
And I said, yeah.
And he goes, you sound like a guy in a, who's coming out from behind a curtain in a castle right now.
He's just fucking hilarious.
Oh, God damn.
He's fucking hilarious.
He's great.
He moved to Nashville about a house.
Or he's looking at by the house.
He's looking at, yeah, he's looking at property.
You know, um.
Because you were thinking about buying out.
Well, you know, there's Nashville and there's Austin.
I was in Texas.
Oh, okay.
In a blizzard.
And no power?
Yeah, now a couple things about Texas.
Texas is great.
Now, come talk to me, and you know this, in June, July, and August and September.
Because if you think you know hot, well, you're from Arizona.
I'm in Arizona.
He's from Arizona?
But here's the difference.
And I'm in the valley.
Dry.
Texas gets all kinds of months.
Houston, I can't fuck.
Houston, the summer.
You're walking through.
Because in probably like July, you're like, you can't really even go out.
Like, it's different than Vegas.
It's like it ruins your clothes.
You feel bad for your shoes.
Yeah.
The ground's so hot.
August in San Antonio, the woman sees me walking out of the hotel.
And she goes, where are you going?
I go, I'm walking to Starbucks.
And she said, Starbucks is almost a half a mile away.
I said, yeah.
She goes, you're not walking to Starbucks.
And I go, I am.
She goes, oh, it's too hot, hon.
And I go, I live in Saudi Arabia.
I took about 10 steps
I was like, hey man,
burn my bag!
Fucking,
I'm in the center of the sun.
What the fuck is going on?
And then I got hit by locusts.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We had a locust.
Hey, B, but the thing is, like, last summer in Woodland Hills,
we reached one, like, one 16, one 15, and it's like hot, dude.
Like, you came, like, even the pool's not comfortable.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, walking to the pool, you're in third,
green burns. Your sandals burn.
It's just like, I'm just staying inside. Yeah, it's
too hot to swim. I can deal with hot.
I can't deal with humidity, though. That's like Florida,
Louisiana. Dry heat all day
for me. I can take dry heat.
Yeah. That humidity. I was down in Miami.
And from my hotel room, I watched
a shark swim.
You're lying. You know what? You're one?
I'm fine with it. No, no. You know what?
That was all interesting. I'm not.
It's so funny. No. It's so funny.
How connected we are. Because I literally
is going to go like this. I was going to go like this. I was going to
going to think I'm lying and I would be lying and I'm a liar.
However, we talked with the mountain lion lie to you and Rogan?
Oh, that was the greatest.
He had Brandon goes, dude, I see.
I see all sorts of animals.
But they weren't.
I wasn't getting the reaction I needed out of them.
I was like, bobcats, coyotes, rattlesnakes.
And then they're like, cool, cool.
I go, I see mountain lions, mountain lions all the time.
And I go, like this, I stop.
And I go, yeah.
No, you don't.
And everyone goes.
And he goes, no, no, I do, I do.
No, I have, I have.
I swear to God.
I go, I know, I know you swear to God.
I know you swear to God.
Here's the thing.
You're talking to me.
You're going to take deep breath now.
Take a deep breath.
Because you're lying.
The whole time around goes, you know, you don't see mountain lions, but I go, they're around there, though.
They're around.
He goes, yeah, you're going to see them.
You just listed up all the, I want the reaction out of them.
You mumbled something like that.
You got, I sing tracks.
You haven't.
He mumbled in.
Those neither.
But you don't know what they look like.
Because, yeah.
So you saw a short?
Am I?
Yeah, no.
I'm in my balcony, and I look down and we saw, I'm sure, I'm manatee first.
A manatee.
Even that stuff.
Seekows.
Sea cows.
And they just sit there.
And they're just like, Lodz.
Yeah, I was looking down.
And then, and then, and then I saw.
I saw, you guys can fuck off
I saw a shadow
and it was coming
and I was like, get out of the water!
Did he look up?
No, because I was on floor 36
but the point was
I saw a shadow coming at the guy.
I'll have to prove shit to you guys.
And then the shadow was like this
and I was like, get out!
And then the shadow didn't
change direction
all right guys I'll see you later
man
that's all
mom lie
did you see uh
Shulti at all in Miami
he's down there
he's like down there
he's down there
doing a little boxing
he boxing
Oh yeah
Shulte you got to see his video
he's training it with a
Well
well all right
Is it not good
Just better than me
Listen I love that kid
I love that kid
Not a boxer
Don't just tell him not to get
Too excited
Don't get in the nose
Don't get in the nose
Don't get in the ring with me.
Don't get in the ring with it.
Is this a chance?
That's not bad.
No, it's not bad.
I wish he'd use his reach more, but that's okay.
I like the dip.
Yeah.
It's all good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But just, you know what I mean?
Season.
Yeah.
Oh.
Not a shape.
Right?
Hmm?
That's pretty good.
You can hit Mitz.
Oh.
Everybody has game playing until they get hit?
That's what you're saying?
Well, you all know, you know, that you can look real good on the hits.
Yeah.
In the bad.
For him, just getting in shape, it's not bad.
Better than Lamar Odom.
Yeah, way better than Lamar Odom's fighting.
No, he's not.
Yeah.
He needs money for crap.
He needs money for crack.
Really?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, why, he needs money for crack?
What?
Fighting is such a...
He needs money for crack.
Y'all just go out.
He stopped doing drugs.
Sure.
He did.
He stopped doing drugs.
And you quit cheating on your diet.
Can I see some video on end, though?
I mean, he is...
Oh, you got to see the video.
You have.
He's mop the floor with him, Brian.
Oh, no.
And we mean that.
He's fighting Aaron Carter, so that's fun.
There's something about fighting.
There's something about fighting that's, I don't know,
it's just different than sports in the way, right, Brennan?
I don't know what it is.
That's the same trying to train is Kevin Hart.
You know what?
He boxed like those red and blue robots.
Oh, yeah.
Very room their heads go, point.
Yeah.
I guess he's, maybe is he just keeping that glued and trying to.
He's never boxed before.
No, he's never ever boxed.
This is the first time he's ever done that.
This is something you walk in the gym.
I'm not going to lie.
I like how he brings his hands back to his face.
Yeah, yeah.
Because he'll do that in real time.
He looks.
Everyone fights like that.
He's kind of very storkish.
He'll probably beat Aaron Carter.
I don't know.
He said he means money for Christ.
Listen, any time there's a celebrity boxing match,
nobody who's doing well in life is doing celebrity boxing.
Yeah.
He's probably doing fun.
He just wasn't.
He's not doing fun.
He died in a whore house in Vegas.
He woke up, though.
What was it, Big Titty Kitty or something like that?
It's the bunny wrench.
Oh, Bunny Rib.
Yeah. He's not fine. He has money, but he doesn't, though.
He's not doing this because he's set.
No one does celebrity boxing because of shit.
People go, dude, would you do celebrity boxing?
No, because things are going well.
You said you would box the rock.
You did say that.
That's different.
Because the Rock has shit going.
I have shit going on.
Would you feel bad about beating the fuck out of him?
No one be rooting for me.
He would never be rooting for me.
Listen, I probably wouldn't even do it.
Unless there's like some guarantee like 30, 40 million, but things are good, man.
If you see me on cameo, if you see me doing celebrity boxing,
dancing with the stars?
What if Jake Paul, what if Jake Paul challenge you to boxing?
Because he can box and he's big.
I'm so much bigger than him.
And they're also not like...
Are you that much bigger than him?
Oh, yeah.
Are you about Jake or Logan?
Because Logan's the bigger.
No, I'm thinking Jake.
Oh, so Jake is smaller.
Yeah, smaller.
Logan's bigger.
Logan's probably maybe 200.
Yeah.
He's 180.
It's way smaller.
Yeah.
That's right.
Six one, realize.
No, like they're not going to call,
they're not going to call a guy like a year.
He was talking about Logan.
He was,
uh,
Oh, Logan's an older one.
He's six two.
Six two,
yeah,
every bit of six two.
He's a bigger guy,
but like we did the food truck together.
I'm way big in them.
Yeah.
I also,
he's top ten years.
So it's like,
they're not going to be like,
no.
Let's go for Brendan.
No,
that would be a big mistake.
It's a bad idea.
You can't do that.
No,
they want a box and make money.
Like, that's not the plan.
You'd get hurt.
You can't fight a real professional.
I'm also not famous enough.
Like, fight the, you know, the Floyd Mayweather.
I think a lot of people would tune in to watching you fight.
But it wouldn't, I know what you mean.
It'd be stupid.
Like, you were in the UFC.
What are we doing?
I have nothing.
Like, no one's going to be rooting for me.
Oh, the guy who beat Gabriel Gonzáimmerko, he's fighting a YouTuber.
Go Brendan.
Like, nobody, yeah.
No.
Good luck, man.
Like, what?
No, that doesn't make sense.
That doesn't make sense.
Are you still sparring?
Yeah.
Let me get back to you.
Yeah.
No, I'm like it. Your chin is down.
Just ready.
Don't put you...
See that?
See that?
Ooh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Is that 54?
Yeah.
Nope.
Okay.
Okay.
Ooh.
Callan, do you notice now that Malik's on this show and he has a little bit of money?
Like, he has a Rolex now.
You refers to himself.
Hey, he refers to himself as the roly boy.
Well, is that what that's from?
Hit your friend.
Ha!
I got to buy something.
Makes me angry.
Don't throw hands home on a car.
Get your friend.
He calls me.
He was like,
yo, are you rapping now?
Yeah.
No, no, I was like, what do you mean?
No, because if you want to go street, I'm like,
don't say street like that.
If you want to go street, I can show you what's up.
Yeah.
I'll get street if I have.
Let me see that in Rolex.
Now, don't get it wet in the shower.
Okay, so it's not.
Wait, what, no, no.
Is it real?
Your dad has a year on.
It's a starter watch.
It's a starter watch.
That's the same.
thing Joe Coy said. It's a starter.
Well, we, this is a lot of money.
You remember when I had a bootleg one?
I do remember. When we very first started, I didn't have a real
road. He was walking and I go, I go. No, we
were in San Francisco and you go,
is that real? I go, yeah, that's real.
And he goes, oh, my dad has one. Can I see
that? You want me to take it off? He goes, yeah, take it off.
Let me just hold it. And he goes, that's not real,
Bubba. So this is the same thing.
You say, you're actually embarrassed.
He was embarrassed? Yeah, I never wore it again.
He was embarrassed. Oh, really? No.
I said, I got, oh, this is, no, this is.
So yours is real, though.
Well, listen, I have a...
It tells time.
I have a girl who loves me, who's worth six figures, and we took it to...
But how much does that run?
It's 30K.
That's 30K.
You drop 30K?
Well, the real one's 30K.
Well, the real...
Wait, wait, wait, hold on now.
What do you think this is?
That is a...
Let Brian hold it.
Yeah, let me see what's going on with this.
Let Brian hold on.
Gold has a density to it.
Yeah, it's weight.
It's really light so expensive.
Your hand's super low.
Rolex has weight.
Now, I've been...
sweating. I've been sweating.
Yeah, no doubt. Let him hold that.
Hold on. Can I try it on?
Hey, man, you have trouble with that, though. It sounds like
I feel like you're pretending you can't get it off.
It's stuck.
It's stuck. I can't get it off.
You can't get it off. We need some olive oil.
Now, you can't get it off.
It's stuck. I'll take it. Let me see.
No, no. I'll take you word for it.
It's appreciate that.
That's true. No, no.
Maybe after the show.
It's not. It might be fake.
Who knows? Who knows? Who knows?
Who knows? I got a phrase.
If you can touch it, it's true.
real. Yeah. Like I said, it tells time.
It tells time. It looks, and it looks
legit as fuck.
No, that's real. I don't own it. It's real to me.
You could rob my house and you'd get t-shirts.
What would you get? The most expensive
thing you'd get that I own are the Gucci boots
you made me buy that you never wear. They're just a little too tight on my feet.
You don't know. Gucci boots. You got
some Gucci boots. He were laughing.
I talked to me.
You talked this way and it's just a
Gucci boots. We took them shopping one time.
In Vegas. That was there. We're in Vegas. You need, you need, you need
expensive shoes, I can't take this anymore.
Because I was wearing those bad
black dress shoes that I bought in Canada.
I was wearing the kind, if you
would sell insurance and you
are down on your luck, those are the shoes
you wear because of the only ones you wear. Yeah. You look like
you sold Chryslers. I looked like
I looked like a 19-50s. He's trying to pitch
on a 300 C Chrysler. Yeah.
You know it's not the move.
Bloodshot eyes.
Terrible. I mean, I got coke
under my mind. Things have not worked out.
Yeah. And that's what I was wearing.
They were the worst boots I've seen in the world.
You guys were laughing so hard when I took them off.
You were laughing, they looked like clown shoes.
You know when Andy DeFrain puts his shoes back in the box on Charlshank Redemption and takes the good ones?
His shoes look like Andy DeFran.
You know what it is?
When you're just living your life with those shoes.
When you don't have money and nobody knows you and you die and some nice woman says,
we've got to dress the corpse up a little bit.
You put those shit on.
Yeah.
Right.
And do you remember that guy in Gucci?
I do.
He spent one.
He put them on and goes, woo.
He was, God damn.
Got to have these and start dancing.
He was a black guy?
Can you pull up these boots?
Do you have what they are?
You know what they are?
Wait, you say you don't know if he's black.
He don't see color.
I don't see color.
What the way?
Yeah, he can't have been a white guy.
He's potential.
He was a white guy with dreds for all we know.
Do you remember when we did that show, Callan, in Vegas,
and with Jimmy Walker, and we're getting ready, and he goes,
he's in a talks, and he has, like, a handler who's his wife,
and he's been in comedy for 60 years.
Actually, Eddie Murphy references him in his special.
That's how he was a big deal back in the day.
He was the guy who was dying old might.
Yeah.
We used a comedy store regular.
Yeah, that good times guy.
So we're waiting to go on.
We're waiting to go on.
And then like, would you like to meet Jimmy?
I guess.
I don't know who he is.
Brian does.
I'm like, yeah, I guess, dude.
This is our opener.
They wouldn't let us book our own opener.
He's the only opener of this club.
Okay.
And finally he comes in.
He won't look at me or Brian.
He's just staring around the room.
And then me and Brian get close.
We're like, what's up, man?
Glad you doing the show you.
you know he said i know everybody i never heard of you two
and then just walked away he said he said
when i found out then they told me who it was i went yikes
what does that mean man
yikes is like oh we're gonna we're staying at this
we're staying at this hotel yeah
and then brian hits me and he goes be nice be nice
because i was like i'm gonna roast the fuck out this dude
and then he went on stage open up and then
You know, he has, like, had old references.
Like, he has an update his act in a hot second.
He's, like, make him, like, Saved by the Bell references.
Not the reunion, like, the old school.
He's talking about, like, Survivor and shit.
Everyone's like, what?
Like, our crowd's, like, what the fuck?
So, wait, he hosted?
Yeah, he hosted.
And then he goes, make sure you get your sign 8 by 10s and DVDs if you want them in the back.
And I want to stage one.
Hey, everybody, make sure you get your DVDs on the way out.
You know, just like.
You want to shake his hand.
And he goes, why.
Oh, don't touch me.
Don't touch me, brother.
I'm like, oh, shit.
That's why I started clowning him, yeah.
I think he had something was going on.
He's not, he's funny and off the cuff jokes around.
He might have been fucking with us.
I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Oh, I'm not.
No, no, I know fucking around.
There's no, he did not like us.
Which is fine.
Was it a good show overall, though?
Yeah, I mean, listen, we bring heat.
Hey, not that one time we were in Phoenix.
On Thursday night.
Yeah, you all, fuck.
Oh, we all ate shit?
We all ate shit.
Man, you came back.
That's the.
One of the worst crowds I've ever seen you.
Sometimes, you're like, I ate shit.
Yeah.
That's so, yeah, sometimes, no matter what, you're just going to be.
And, you know, sometimes audiences are, like Nashville, for example, most of those people play an instrument.
And when you have musicians, it's not that they don't love you, but they're watching you differently.
Your bag of tricks, they're ahead of you.
Like, sometimes you can wow people with comedy, right?
You can come out there and do shit and they're just, they're just, they don't see comedy.
It might be only the second time.
they've seen comedy so they're already like
and then everybody's laughing they're like this is
it's contagious
when you're a performer
when you've been on stage
when you play the guitar or whatever
and you understand rhythm
they can see that what they're doing
is they're going
they're watching you they're watching your stage presence
and they've been around they've been on
they've been up there so they're looking at it very differently
they're just they're just taking
they're putting themselves in your position
crowd was quiet huh daddy?
No no no no no
I had that's basically what he said
I know right he's trying to break down a ball
and then when in the back was like
they're musicians
you know they're listening
no you know I didn't bomb
they're into it I can tell
they're listening
the actual truth is the younger
the comics that were opening for me
came out and said
you know that some of my stuff wasn't hidden
and I go and I had to say to them I go
when I first came to Nashville
I had that experience yeah
and I was told by the club owner he said
this is they are watching you differently
yeah I like that you guys feel better about that
yeah but I mean I
I crush
I mean, they had the boat.
But also sounds like the boost.
Sounds like they were a little quiet, though.
Yeah, yeah.
No, they were good, but what is that?
It's Supreme.
I like that.
Hey, I'll never forget.
We was boxing one time at his house, and he wore these big-ass clown boots,
and there's like, what, $1,000?
Those black ones?
Yeah.
And I was like, bro, what are you doing?
Wow, boots.
Yeah, he has like some, what were?
For boxing?
No, I'm talking about, like, some dress shoes.
Some boots, someone sent them to you.
Yeah, I don't remember.
You remember that?
You remember that?
I were.
And then you said, I was like, bro, that's embarrassing.
And he was like, y'all got a ass on me, though.
You remember that?
Yeah, I do have an ass.
You're like, well, that has nothing to do with a shoot.
No, but I do have an ass on me.
And one of the things that you don't have, and it's all good,
is you don't have much of a lower body, right?
No, I do.
Some would say none.
No, no, you can tell my legs are getting better.
You've been working your legs?
Yeah, I've been working my legs.
Yeah, still.
But your body's your upper step.
I saw a workout.
No, he's, he puts out muscle.
He puts out muscle in his chest and his back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, wait.
It's not fair.
It's not bad.
Hey, hey, you know what else doesn't have legs?
Camaro Usman.
I looked at his legs and I was like, I mean, you couldn't get bigger or stronger.
And I looked at his legs.
His thighs, I looked at his, it's so interesting.
His upper body is Jack.
And then you look at his legs.
And I was like, your legs are actually rather than the smallest.
It might be the smallest in the East East.
So you're saying, like, great superior athletes have legs on me.
Now, take it easy.
But listen, he'll still.
wreck it. That is the one
thing about fighting. It gives hope to all guys
with small legs. Yeah. Who's that tall guy
in that, uh, yeah, who's?
Damn, there's a skinny leg. Who has a
skinny leg? Who has a skinniest? I don't know. No, that's just some random
tall, dude. That's not John.
That's not John Jones. That's not skinny.
John Jones got real. That guy's not so bass. He's a basketball
player. Basketball players, you know, they're not going to
That's John's legs.
Yeah, see, shit.
Identical. He's got zero caps.
Wow. That might be photoshop.
That's probably that skinny. They're thin for sure.
There you go.
That's not John.
His thighs aren't small.
That's not John.
That's not John.
Can I ask your opinion on if Usman and Masgal, is it going to be the same thing?
Exactly.
That's what I think.
All due respect, I think so, too.
See, they're not big like Francis or D.C.'s.
Yeah, but you know where they are big?
Kind of up here.
You know what?
They get the job done.
He's the best we've ever seen.
He's also 250, apparently.
He's too.
He's too 50?
Yeah.
My friend's, Tom, is like, my friend's a big guy.
Yeah, my friend's a big guy.
My friend said, I don't know what people are talking about him being skinny, dude.
I was looking at his thighs.
I was looking at his back.
He's fucking huge.
He's huge. But he's real tall, right?
He's six.
Every bit of six five.
Like every inch could be six six, but every bit of six five.
Every bit of six five.
Did you ever train with him?
Oh, yes.
Oh, you did?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
At Jackson's number of times.
Monster.
Absolutely monster.
Yeah.
We'll destroy the heavyweight division.
He will destroy it.
You're putting money on against steep.
100%.
Is that right?
He smoked all of them.
The only one that scares me for him would be Francis.
Because he gets hit.
He gets hit.
Francis hit you.
It's a game over.
It's a game over.
But if he just takes Francis down, if he doesn't get hit, takes him down.
It's easy work for him.
Yeah.
Although, Steve A might be as good a boxer, a better boxer, right, or no?
He's more one-dimensional.
Like, he doesn't really kick.
You know, he can kick, but he really doesn't.
John's so dynamic with the striking elbows.
You know, he's in South Paul, traditional kicks.
He's also now he's bigger, more power.
He's also better wrestler.
He is a better wrestler?
Oh, yeah.
Damn.
John's the Monster
B, you're on the road
every single week
would you say?
Well, this week
You're road dog
This weekend
I'll be at the Virginia Beach
Funny Bone
Everybody
And then I'm at Jacksonville
Comedy Zone
Oh, two short flights
I know dude
That's the problem
I know it's a fucking nightmare
Is it wrong?
When I see Jacksonville
Like I go
Tampa Spokane
I go Tampa Spokane
Cleveland
Miami
Have you been to Jacksonville?
I've not done it yet
You have.
I haven't done the club.
I know that comedy zone's new.
Yeah.
I know.
It's been around 37 years.
I don't know that.
Used to be a restaurant.
They changed in the common zone, right?
I guess.
The only time I went to Jackson was you and me when you bombed in front of Tebow's.
Oh, boy.
That was in Jacksonville?
He told us that story.
He's told us that story.
Well, because they were children.
I know.
Literally on their last breath.
He's making jokes about him.
That doesn't make me feel funny.
I got, I got, I got, you know.
prayed and then brought Brian up. I'm like, I feel like that's
a bad order. Maybe you should pray before the meal get served,
not after Brian. Yeah. Oh,
who's that black guy who was an amazing singer?
Oh, uh, oh, uh, so envious
of him. Yeah, he won American Idol's some shit. Oh, no, he won
the voice. Yeah. God damn. Monster. Oh, the
I showed you. Yeah, he's a monster. Yeah. I brought him up.
So you're in the road nonstop, dog. I'm on the road non-
Nebraska, November 11, 12, 13.
Oh.
Yeah.
Remember that.
Yeah.
Yeah, almost cool.
There we go.
Funny Bone, Omaha.
March 11, 12, 13.
Comedy zone.
You road dog now.
Yeah, March 4-5-6.
Yeah.
That's what happens, Bubba.
Yeah.
It's what happens, Bubba.
Sometimes, look, sometimes in life,
you get hit with a little chaos,
little blip,
you've got to pivot and adjust.
Keep moving.
Keep writing, by the way.
You know what's, you know what,
and all bullshit aside,
no matter what you're going through in life,
what's fucking beautiful about stand-up,
or anything is you can take all that energy
that you could put into anxiety or depression or anger
and just fucking put it into writing.
Put into your act.
That's all I'm doing.
I wrote a whole fucking new hour basically.
Yeah.
Yeah, for real.
That's what's up.
Yeah, for real.
Like I have, I literally wrote probably an hour, yeah,
of new shit.
Because it's just energy.
And also with stand-up, though,
no matter what goes on with social media
or, you know, whatever L.A. Times writes,
the audience in the public
and decide if you have a career or not.
That's right.
If they come to your shows, you have a career.
That's right.
And just don't get lazy.
Just keep writing.
That's the fucking hardest thing.
It's so easy to get relaxed.
You know, I don't know.
You stay active.
Did you miss us?
Why I work out every day.
Did you mess?
That's why my body looks like this.
I mean, a lot of it's genetic.
Most of us genetic.
A weathered run.
You don't eat crazy at all, right?
No, no, no.
I need to know your diet then.
I mean, he doesn't.
I was all he is diet.
No, you don't.
Hey, you're not Brian.
I was on his diet.
You don't want Brian's diet.
He doesn't eat McDonald's, though.
Okay.
You don't need to McDonald's in West Palm Beach.
I don't eat no fucking McDonald's.
You want to McDonald's at West Palm Beach.
He might get anything.
He's a late night.
He's a late night secret eater.
Not anymore.
No?
What do you win in right now?
I don't know.
I find it very endearing that the one thing that you're a little, you're, you like to say you're 250.
No, I don't.
He didn't say.
I was loud.
I was 272.
Okay.
I was going to say.
That's your comfortable.
No, it's not comfortable.
For a while, he was flirting.
When he was fighting, he was flirting, he was trying to get down at 202.
It was like a Samoan man trying to be, trying to get into a pair of high heel, just
who has a woman trapped inside of him.
Yeah.
It was like young John Tony straight.
It was fucking tough.
He got down like 235 and he was like, it was a nightmare.
You were trying to get to 205?
That's not happening.
It's not happening.
It ain't anymore.
Yeah, no, no, no, at that time.
Yeah.
I don't think it's possible for you.
You could.
Guys do it, but it's just, it would be.
But you would look weird at two of them.
I would look.
I don't think you'd be skinny.
Yeah, that'd be scary.
You're a true heavy weight.
Yeah, it's a bummer.
Did you miss?
But like a good weight for you is two.
240.
Is that right?
Not 250?
No, 240.
So 272.
Too much.
I thought you were, you were biking and I am.
You just, you just, you just.
Gello loose.
Gallow loose.
What, what are you, what's your go to?
Bitsa?
I love you.
I love pizza.
Yeah.
Pizza and Thai.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I can't.
What should go to?
It's a secret.
Yeah.
Like, you said it like you, because it's delicate right now.
Yeah.
It's not, though.
You still threw it out of.
You still do it.
We know I love pizza.
It's well documented.
That's why he said it.
Everyone knows.
Some people, like, some people like Steve Byrne,
Steve likes the feeling.
What he likes to do is eat all the apple pies from
McDonald's and all the hamburgers and then
go over to Arby's and go and then he's
got a whole list and then he likes to like
a jungle snake after a snake eats a
fucking like something that can't eat.
It just has to stretch. He likes the feeling
of being too full and watching TV
and just not being able to move.
Me, I don't like that. But if he's comfortable with it
if that's his thing to be built like
somebody's aunt like that's the. But he's
not a big dude. No. He's like
he's got my skinny fat. Skinny fat.
How he's skinny fat. Yeah, but
he's got a very good frame. It's just he
gets away with it because he puts some people put weight on
evenly other people put on weight on like
just their tummy here or their tummy fuck yeah
yeah my is like is that where your issue is there
yeah are you lifting weights if I had your frame
I'd be fucking too big
uh he's skinny there yeah
oh yeah yeah yeah he's yeah he's yeah he's
that guy eats arby's he's the I think
Steve is the I'm gonna say it I think in my 54 years I think he's the
nicest he's the nicest human being I've ever
met him by the he's truly the
he's such a good
person.
He's been nice to me.
He's the best.
There's no one who doesn't love him.
Who's the non-kito guy in the terrible shirt?
I don't know who that guy is.
The terrible shirt.
The Minihana shirt?
Who's the non-kito?
Who's non-kito Keith, though, man?
Do you know who that is?
I don't know.
Now, you don't, but you don't lift.
You can do a back flip on.
Because the gyms are open.
Right.
I miss it.
I miss.
Well, I gave you kettlebells on the jump rope and stuff.
Kettle bell.
Yeah.
and the jump rolls
but I mean I hate when people
say the gyms aren't open
yeah I know that
the gym's it
what do you're going to live
Brian
this stuff you can do though
how much
what you're living
what are you saying
no you said
live to weights
no
what do you want
to live right
come on
your body weight
yeah
yeah
push up
yeah
how much you left
the 260 pounds
yeah
you'll be quiet
you on the same shit
is that what
I'm listening
is that what you're wearing
what
no
I'm 255
okay
you're Ricky
Ryan
you're Ricky
Ryan
Brian
Brian
Brian
What? No, I'm saying.
Look, I'm your boss.
Hey, you know I'm a freak athlete.
I know, I'm your biggest fan.
He's my biggest fan.
No, you're the best. Yeah, here's the thing.
No, no, no, no, you're the best.
Hey, hold on.
You're built like Jerome Bettis and it's fucking fun.
Bring up the bus.
Bring up the bus.
You would have been, you could have been a hell of a running back.
You would have been, you would have run right through people.
That was a great cheerleader.
They would have had, you built like Jerome Bettis.
There he is.
Yeah.
That guy's a running back?
It's nothing to be mad about it.
Look at him, big boy.
They call him the bus.
And he's a running back?
He led the
Notre Dame
Hall of Fame
Let me see a highlight
That's you
That's you
That's you
Let me see a highlight
100% that's you
By the way
That's a great ball
First of all
You're the bus
His legs are way bigger
Than mine
Well he's in shape
You got some big legs
I was watching
You carry a hundred pound dumbbells
With no problem
You were like
Do do do do
Like it was a lunch box
Oh yeah
We worked out with Kevin Bay
Yeah
Yeah
Phoenix
Because he doubted me
That I could carry
A hundred pound
dumbbells, you didn't.
No, no, no.
Biggest fan.
No, you're very strong.
Now, you're not Shob.
Now, now, I didn't say I was.
I know.
They're strong and there's Brendan Shob.
We know this.
There's, he's got a weird thing going on.
He's got that, he's got that bare strength for real.
I felt it.
But you're very strong.
Thank you.
You're very strong.
You're probably more explosive than Brennan.
So if you really trained, I think you might get him on squats.
He's built for squats.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I don't know if you're not deadlift.
I don't know if you're getting him on deadlift.
I don't know if you're getting him on
deadlift and I don't think you're getting in mind.
What do you get deadlift?
What about RDA?
Well, his brother.
His brother, his brother, his brother.
Oh, my was 4.15.
Can I?
Can I?
I do that right now.
4.15?
Yeah, educate him.
He'll do it.
He'll do it.
You wake him up from a nap.
Wake him up from a nap.
Well, well, I watched him, well, I watched him, I watched him take 5.50, and I watched him do 10 sets.
I watched him do 10 reps, and then he did 10 sets of 10 reps.
What?
on hold on he did he did 550 this one of the fuck a haunted hontat times hontat times
honit times okay now now i said to his brother i said now jays no weakling either jay jay goes
if you put a 500 pounds on the floor right now i'll lift it right now we're eating lunch he gets he
gets that's when he gets he gets a whole kind of competitive yeah you i'll lift 500 pounds
and he pointed to the ground to an imaginary man i was like okay straight bar but he said that
Brendan, when he was lifting, when he was deadlifting when he was really, when he's playing football,
the gym owner came over and goes, you guys can't do this.
And they said, why?
He goes, you're, Brendan, you're bending my bars.
He was bending the other than that.
So, so.
What's your max?
What's your max?
Probably in the sevens.
Are you serious?
So wait, why is squat weird for you then?
I'm tall.
Oh.
The taller of the hardest squat is, the bigger.
I don't think you worked on it either, right?
Oh, yeah.
At CU for sure.
Okay, you did.
In the NFL for, I mean, squat was.
super important. Yeah. Yeah, but
what do you squat? Yeah, well, yeah, what
you get some legs on? Well, when I
when I, when I, when I feel like I was a set up
unites. Get some way. I am
I am, I am simply weak.
Well, Jackal Willick, I listened to him. I just
had to. He'll get you motivated. Well, but
Jackal Willick is almost my age.
I don't know, he's 50 maybe, I don't know what he is. Yeah.
And and, uh, different though, yeah.
A lot different than me.
Jaco could talk me and he's awesome. He's awesome. I never met him, but I love him.
But he was having a very intense conversation about
whether or not, with his buddy Echo, whether or not they go, you go deep, though.
You go deep.
He goes, no, I go to the chair and you go see.
And I squat.
I'm like, dude, are we in high school right now?
What's going on?
And you got to go deep.
Did you, when you were out in Texas, did you see Tim Kennedy at all?
Another guy who could talk to me into killing somebody.
Yeah.
So when I was there, his buddy, I think it's Randy, who is in a lot of the pictures with him.
If you see two guys, Tim and a guy on it,
they're both shirt off.
They're both shut up.
They're really wide and thick.
That would be his buddy.
I think it's, oh, God, is it?
No, they're just popping up with couture.
No, it's not Randy.
It's Shane, maybe.
Shane?
Great guy.
Great guy.
So he shows up in a helicopter with Alex Jones,
who I.
Alex Jones driving the helicopter?
Alex Jones was in the helicopter,
and they landed in the street,
outside the studio, kind of illegally,
got out,
Alex Jones had a long talk with him.
Interesting.
Very nice.
At the airport?
No, at the studio.
What did you guys talk about?
There he is.
That guy right there.
That guy right there.
Yeah.
Now, he used to be a country music guy.
And now he, I think he owns a lot of property.
He's like a big property owner in Austin.
And he's real close to Tim.
And I got a text from Tim.
That's the apocalyptic haircut.
I got a text from Tim as I got on the plane saying,
if you ever come to my state again and you don't call me,
I'm going to beat your funny, witty head in.
I was like, I was in Dallas.
I love Tim.
Yeah, thumbs down.
And I said, but if I do, I will.
Those dudes are fucking huge.
Tim Kennedy?
Do you know who Tim is?
No.
Special Forces.
Oh, dude.
In a strike first champion.
And I heard not from Tim, but through the grapevine that Jaco and Tim rolled, they did
little jiu-jitsu together.
I see him right there.
Tim, I'll respect to Jokko.
No, no.
No, he's, no.
Tim's about five, maybe five, nine.
Not an ounce of fat.
He's his thing as a guy, you know.
But it's interesting because people like,
Jocco's a gorilla on the mat and killer,
but, you know, from what I understood.
And this is...
Tim went toe to toe with Jokeree.
Yeah, so Tim's going to be cool.
Tim's going to be chin, jujitsu.
Yeah.
No matter who...
You still training in Jiu Jitsu?
I live Jiu Jitsu, dude.
Yeah?
No, but I do do a little jiu jitzy.
Oh.
Look at Tim's legs.
No, she's...
He's fucking cast.
No, Tim is...
That's made for killing people.
Tim is as thick a human being as it gets.
Do you guys like your freedom?
You like having an opinion of freedom?
Yeah.
Thank him.
You're welcome.
Tim fights free freedom.
So he's, so he was.
Special force.
He was arguably, I'd say arguably,
top three, 185 are in the world for the longest time.
I mean, beat, basically beat you all Romero or something to a draw.
And then it went, I mean, he's fought everybody.
It was a strike force champion.
I mean, a monster, a monster.
Always, always the guy you didn't want to fight.
And oh, by the way, oh, by the way, also while being a UFC contender was also a special ops guy, like an active special ops green beret.
Retire from the OC and still.
He would just disappear.
Like, me and Brennan would like.
Like, I could text him right now.
Like, I texted him the other day talking about something with politics.
And he answered the question.
I was like, all right, dude, got to go.
And it's like, he doesn't show me where he's at, but just shows me a picture in his uniform with this, like, special badge on.
I can tell he's like in a helicopter.
Yes, like over a desert.
Like over a jungle, I think.
I called him the other day and he goes,
he answered the phone like this.
He goes, America.
America.
How great is that guy?
He's in Austin.
Also a great guy, but also like a silly goose.
Yeah.
Super funny.
Like we love, Brett and I, when we did a podcast with him,
like a couple of school kids,
we got in the car and we went,
And Brendan goes, is he the greatest guy in the world?
Or is that my imagination?
He's the best.
He's the best.
He's just a great guy.
Yep.
I hope to meet this, dude.
Yeah.
If we get Austin, you will.
Dude, that was before I was great.
I'll be there, Mark.
Look at your.
Yo, yeah, you look.
You look great.
What's going on there?
I might have been dying my beard.
Yeah.
Dude, I might have been dying.
You look artificial as fun.
I might have been hearing hair from men.
But I'm going back to that because that's a fucking good looking.
That's a great-looking guy.
Four-hams.com promo code shop.
So if you want to look like Brian, then.
Four-hams.
For him.
What is he doing right there on top of the table?
He's about to attack Brian, I think?
Yeah.
And I'm all for it.
Hey, look at you.
Brendan.
Look at Brandon.
Yes.
Well, that was the day Brennan cried.
Yep.
But I have a theory with that because we did DMT.
I think that's exactly.
That's why I cried like that.
Brennan started bawling.
Did you do it too?
I sure did.
It was fantastic.
I could not stop.
Oh, we were taken through a ceremony.
We were taken through a ceremony with a shaman by the name of Aubrey Marcus.
I saw him, by the way.
You did?
How is he?
I was in San Marcos.
He's doing.
He's doing.
What's he doing?
What's he doing?
Just hanging out and being fabulous with a, is he wearing like a...
He's married.
He's married?
He's married?
Oh, the guy that came in the green room.
Yeah.
That's my guy, yeah.
Aubrey went through the whole gamut of trying to figure out relationships from polygamy.
You'll love this.
So love Aubrey.
right there's his wife they dated before
broke up he did his thing
tried being polygamous you know
do all that thing and then got married and she's a
smoke show spectacular
so that's his wife and he's winning
and so he's unbelievable be you love this
he comes to the green room and he's with justin ren
and justin had just found out one of his friends
close friends
kid commit suicide so Justin
comes in just got done balling
and face is all red.
The
the vibes
in the green room
with death
and we're talking about
CT
and we're talking about
a friend
who I'll tell you
about after
we're talking about
horrible stuff
and like
all right shop
you're on in 10
and I'm like
hey
I turn around
and go
don't ever come
to a show
again
they started laughing
I went
don't ever
come to the show
with this energy
again
oh my fucking God
that's like
Aubrey
was laughing
so hard
I'm like
you can't
no
I gotta go
make them laugh
yeah
it was like
right
before the show
I had to do
I had to
Jennifer
Garner
brought me on stage because I was doing
I was emceeing I was auctioning off
certain paraphernalia
to raise money for two children
that have a very rare genetic disease two little
girls that are going to die
and dad gets up he can barely hold
it together mom gets up she can't hold it
together and then Jennifer Garne goes
and now Brian Cowell
and I was not going to get him laughing
you got to get him laughing you got to get him laughing
I was I had a fucking basketball
on my throat I'm like
ooh
here goes common
Dude, I can't handle that.
I can't handle it.
Pulled it off.
Were they quiet because they're artists?
You always have a finger out, though, man.
That's the hood.
That's the thing.
Oh, that is?
Yeah, that's the thing.
He's got a lazy finger hanging on me.
No, it's like this.
It's like right here.
No, don't grab me.
Boom.
And it's that.
That's that.
Hey, bro, you can't get in the mail.
You can't get in the mouth.
He's trying to.
Yeah.
It's called the apple pie.
It's called the apple pie.
Too hot.
Too hot.
What is this?
Too hot.
This is our character.
The character is called two creepy white guys.
So go ahead.
No, it's called two white guys trying to be black.
Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Why?
Your fingers are so serious.
But this guy's...
Why are you doing this guy?
This guy's doing this.
Why are you making that noise?
Making the fucking noise.
I don't know.
I've never been sandwiched twigs to black guys.
All right, what do you guys got for us?
Oh, shit.
Let me take the shit off, guys.
Are you guys?
Chin crank the heat up in, I think.
No, I turned it, I turned it down.
I came in earlier.
I didn't wear in the one love shirt.
You know I got you, Brian.
I love chin.
I love cat.
I miss you guys.
Miss you.
I miss you.
How's good to see you?
Huh?
How's, mm-hmm.
You can say Stevie.
You can say it.
I love it for a while, but you could say it.
now? I love it. He's good.
You're trying to hazeel. How's...
He likes his girl. He likes
cat. He's in the cat. He's in the cat.
I think he caught himself the best.
Got himself a six-figure queen?
Fuck, yeah.
That's part of what it is.
It's no different than Malik and his girl.
Call yourself a six-figure queen.
By the way, your girl is fantastic, by the way.
You tried to holler a couple of times, I was kind of pissed.
Well, there's a whole weird thing. I don't give a shit, but...
He said, I'll give a shit
It's stupid
It's stupid
There's just a pause
Like
And then we're over it
Over it
I'll turn my charisma down a little bit
Okay
So we've talked about
Aisha Curry in the past
She is
Stefan Curry's wife
And in the past
She's gotten a lot of hate
For tweets that she's tweeted out
Back in 2015
Basically saying that
she would rather wear more clothes and be dressed properly
and that girls who show more skin are considered trashy
and she wants to be classy.
Since she has recently been losing weight,
she's been more provocative with the things that she posts
on Instagram, social weird, like bikinis,
and recently she did a photo shoot where she's nude.
Yeah.
So she posted this photo recently.
She did a nude photo shoot where you don't really see anything,
but she's naked,
and a bunch of his floor.
You're breathing.
Man can't breathe?
I don't know what's going on right now.
Y'all look at it.
That's the weird shit.
You're just here.
Yeah.
I got COVID.
She gave me cold.
She gave me harmless cold.
I got that vaccine.
Keep going cats.
Sorry.
But yeah, a lot of people are just giving her backlash on stuff like this saying that she's a hypocrite.
That's how it goes.
When you're the big chunky girl, you hate on the hot, skinny girls.
Then you get hot and skinny.
You're like, I get it.
And they start posting pics.
She's going it off.
So what were her tweets, though?
Go up, Chin, to her tweets?
She goes, everyone's into barely wearing clothes these days, huh?
Not my style.
I keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters.
Just looking at the latest fast trends.
I'll take classy over trendy any day of the week.
Hashtack Saturday night, inside.
Keep going.
I mean, this is some female shit that I just don't get.
It's hyper female.
She goes, and all I'm doing is sitting here reading style,
Weekly, you guys definitely entertain me.
That's for sure.
She was regardless if you like my style of clothes or not,
which I don't care.
Please do not tear women down to grade them.
Not cool, peeps.
You know what she was just doing that.
And boom.
Got skinny.
Oh, shit.
35 pounds.
Yeah, yeah.
And she, you also forgot that she was mad about, like,
her getting attention and stuff like that.
No, her not getting attention.
Oh, yeah, that was another one.
She was like, I can't believe Steph Curry gets attention.
And that was the time I was in her DMs.
Yes, she was saying dudes don't look at it or not.
I was looking.
I'll make it.
I'll make a confession.
She saw it.
Look,
but she didn't respond back.
No,
I said big toe cute as fuck.
What?
Gross.
I'll make a confession.
This is a weird confession.
I've never told you the story.
But there was a girl I used to date and then she, we broke up and then she, she gave
a bunch of weight.
After the breakup?
Sort of like, you know.
During it.
It's just things get, people get, you know.
She got comfortable.
And she just, she just had some.
Call her like it is.
And she was already.
But like when you're thin and when you put on 20 pounds, that's a lot.
Like that can be...
Well, it's everything, right?
It's everything.
Right?
Yeah, she's built like toe jam and her.
And no.
She went from toe jammer.
Don't say that stuff.
I'm not saying that.
I know.
He's got to be all correct.
I know.
I'm trying to spice it up for you.
Yeah, he spiced it up.
I'm sorry.
Bring up toe jammer.
I love how you said she put old piles.
It's a before and after.
It's a before and after.
Go to images.
one is skinny, one is thick.
To jamming her.
God, damn.
That's the old girl on the right.
Come up with the craziest cartoon shit.
Nobody, but like some and drop-ish Japanese boy.
Has ever heard of it?
No, there's some 80s babies out there like, hell yeah, toe jam and Earl.
Damn, that's good.
All right, carry on.
So I kind of like, we broke up and then she said something like,
like she said she was dating somebody.
That's cool.
She goes, yeah, you don't care about that part of my life at all anymore, huh?
And I was like, all right, well, she kind of still like.
me and i was like god i mean you're doing your thing it is what it is and then i saw her about
about two months maybe three months later and she'd lost it all and had and was working out
was a glowing yeah and i i was like i was like i was like hey i'll buy you a ring now i'll go buy
your ring now i was you know you young man i was all over i was keep that same energy on
weird again i know and she looked at me and she goes she goes she goes fucking wow 18
pounds that's the difference that's how superficial you are 18 pounds that's all it takes huh
and she just walked away but it's also like yeah yeah if i put on 18 pounds you're gonna be cool with it
some people some people look good when they put on weight it doesn't matter some girls some girls
it's not everyone some women look better when they put on weight some women look better when whatever
your natural body is like i know a girl there's a girl who got her the booty done right the present
Sometimes I can look fantastic.
You go to Miami and everybody's had it done.
Sometimes if you got the bone structure,
if you got the thighs that go with it.
But sometimes you don't have the thigh.
You don't have the bone structure.
It's like my problem with guys my size
who take steroids and get,
you get big, but you don't look big.
You're still going to look muscular but skinny.
It's the same problem.
And everyone can see it.
You smell different.
Yeah.
You smell different?
Yeah, you smell different.
You sweat.
Everything changes.
Everything changes.
You smell like beef jerky.
It's the same thing as when somebody who's
older gets just this done, just that, and then you're like,
oh dude, I meant to tell you, since you got your lids done, it's like, where's
Brian?
You look exactly the same.
So let's not do that anymore because you look no.
I look in the mirror and I was like, I was like, wow.
He came in here, he came in the day out.
He's all, all the eyes are all sworn.
He's like, they say like two weeks, it's going to be way better.
Two weeks ago, you go back, you're like, you look,
you're like, two weeks later.
You were a great doctor.
You're going to get me too, too.
Do you have to go back?
No, man.
I'm never going back.
I just got a deal.
Yeah.
Daddy got a deal on the lids.
On the lid.
That's what I call them lids forever.
Yeah.
Yeah. Rinks is, rinks stuck, big gay owl stuck.
I'm never on the road.
Big gay owl.
Hey, Rinks, big gay owl.
They get the more drunk they get
I'll just get a guy
I just go every once in my
every like there'll be a pause in my jokes
Gay out
that crack up
T-Fa K
rings
they called you Boomer
for some reason as well
I didn't really get that
forever
He didn't get that
I didn't get that
I'd go
Okay boomer
That's what I said
his shows
It was hot for a second
Yeah it was hot for a second
Boomer was like a tick-off
Ben stock
Yeah
What else you got Kat?
Okay so Adam
Pac-Man Jones
was in a bar fight recently that he got arrested for.
He went on Pat McAfee's show and talked about it.
He's saying that he was arrested and they made it seem like he was the one who just kind of
gone in the fight and started knocking out the bouncer.
But he said that the bouncer and his brother got a fight and he went in trying to break it up
by the time he got up trying to help his brother get up from the floor.
They started throwing chairs, which then the whole fight ensued and he knocked out a bouncer.
He just can't stay out of trouble, man.
He can't, right?
He's been out of for a little bit, but then he just...
He was such a...
2007, he was involved in a now infamous shooting
on Las Vegas Strip.
Damn.
He was?
Forced to pay him 11 million to the victims.
What?
What?
Hold on me.
He's also arrested in 2019.
That's just two years ago.
For cheating in Indiana casino.
Who cheats a casino?
Like counting cards?
And then upon the rest,
Jones threatened the police telling them to suck my dick.
He cut a deal with the prosecution to serve 10 days in jail
for one count of felony cheating.
gambling misdemeanor.
I feel like this is...
Additionally, he knocked the man out,
knocked the man out in an airport terminal.
Fuck.
He's no joke, but I think some of this is...
I love the man as a quarterback.
You can make the argument that this is head injury.
If I'm his lawyer, first of all,
nobody hit harder than that motherfucker.
They called him a hitman, right?
They didn't call him?
No, no, I call Pacman.
Yeah, take it easy.
But he used to run.
He just fucking, he was like short, fast as fuck, and just crush people.
Stud player, but just always had some issue going on.
I think he's just a hothead, too.
I think we're too quick to say CT.
He could just be an asshole, too.
Yeah, maybe.
There's that too, you know?
Some guys are just assholes.
But quick to flare up and temper-wise.
Has an attitude, man.
But he's had this forever.
It's just a bingo.
Now he's been playing forever, but so maybe it is.
How long did he play for?
Shit.
He was still, he was on the Broncos last year.
He was pretty sure or a year ago.
Oh, shit.
I mean, he was on.
He's been playing for a while.
On the Colts forever.
But he was injured a lot.
Damn.
career and in 2019
so he definitely was on the team last year
he's got money
so he was so he played for
was at 10 so he played for
uh
fuck
so 2019 2005
14 years yeah that's a long
fucking time so he but he
definitely has CTE
I mean I hope not
as a corner I don't know but yeah
no I don't know but but uh
he's a lot of money though
he's made when you're cornerback
you get paid a lot
yes or not he should
should have money, but, you know.
$11 million is a fuck load of money.
Yeah, I know.
They just paid to that family.
Wow.
That was in 2007, they said.
Is that, is he insured for that?
How's that work?
I don't think so, right?
Dude, $11 million.
Lawyers and all that shit?
$11 million.
What else you guys got?
So we were talking about your shoes, the other episode, and how people thought it
it looked like cake.
This is a pair of shoes that looked like cake.
Well, Jamar thought they looked like cake, right?
Yes, Jamar and then people commenting under it.
This is actually a cake.
Is Jamar still?
boxing? Yeah, he's still boxing.
That's a cake. What I want to know is what
is all that stuff. Those are Jordan One cakes?
Yeah. Wow. And it's fondant
that they're covering it all of them. Damn, that's good.
It probably doesn't taste great. I heard fondant doesn't taste very good.
No, it's like real chewing kind of tough. What's it called?
Fondent? Now that is fucking dope.
That's dope. That looked like a shoe. Why not do the laces out of
licorice? I guess they don't know. Yeah, is that. That's
that. That's true. That's fucking crazy though.
That's food. To show him cutting into it?
They should. That's amazing.
Yeah, cut into it.
No, they don't.
That's how they built it.
That's whack.
That's cool, though.
Yeah, you can't eat it.
That's dope.
Okay.
Just give me a regular piece of cake, though, huh?
It's currently snowing like crazy over in the Ukraine,
and there is a man whose house was obstructed by a bunch of snow.
He couldn't get in or out, and he didn't want to plow the snow himself.
So he had the genius idea to call the Ukrainian police and say that he admitted to stabbing his mother's boyfriend,
and that the body is currently in his home.
The only way they could arrest him is if they brought a plow to get to his residence.
And he's saying that they couldn't arrest him.
Like, you're not going to be able to reach me unless you bring a plow and you plow all the snow to get to me.
He's a genius.
He's a smart guy.
Police officers did not do that.
They just came into SUV and they found him, found out that he did not kill anybody.
Oh, they didn't come out with shit.
Yeah, they did not plow.
They pulled up an SUV.
He got in trouble, but I don't think it's a lot.
anything crazy.
That's for the guy
he faces the fine of
as much as
$4.
$4.
I wonder $4.
$4 is a lot
from Ukraine though.
Oh, it is?
It might be like
the conversion.
I think $4 is $4.
They're not.
They all
complicate things.
I was like $4.
I think $4 goes a long
way.
I think $4 doesn't
go very far anyway.
$4 in Vietnam
goes a long way.
But that would be for a day.
Yeah, for a day.
It's not like he's
rich as fuck with $4.
Yeah.
True.
You get a kebab and some stuff.
Brennan, you got this one?
Oh, this is interesting.
So I don't know why Joe Buck, everyone's getting crazy about it.
So Joe Buck says, you know, he's the voice for, like, the World Series.
He's the voice of big NFL games.
His dad was a famous analyst.
And so he talked about how he drinks during the broadcast.
Like he'll drink a big beer during the baseball games because it makes it, like, more relaxed.
And also he said when he drinks beer, it reminds.
him that all I'm doing is
commentating on a game. It's not that serious. So he grabs
a bear to remind him of that. And then he said
once he started working with Troy Aikman,
Troy Eichman's like, dude, you've got to cut out the bear. You've got to be
healthier. So they start drinking tequila.
So now he says...
All right. So he says
him and Troy have tequila during
the games. Then everyone's kind of freaking out.
Because these guys drink on air.
It's like, yeah, dude. Yeah, of course
they do. They've been doing fine the whole time, right?
Because people are bored now. Well, they're...
He's, you know, a lot of people, they can't relate.
to him because they feel like he doesn't like
Joe Buck? It's kind of a robot. I think he's
great to him. I love him. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, okay, so they're having a little tequila.
Who gives a fuck? Who gives a... Get a
fucking life. Yeah, we got to go after everything.
Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do.
It's got something to do.
It's fucking amazing. You can't get away with
a fucking thing. And it's usually just some
shithead, but they're on Twitter, so we
have to kind of listen to them. Or do we?
And then they write an article about it
because he got, like,
fire online.
My problem is that corporations listen to this shit.
That's what I worry about.
Yeah.
I don't think there was CBS or Fox.
I don't think Fox.
I don't think Fox.
I mean, we're going to do because the guy, it's not like he's getting belligerent and making mistakes.
They're two of the best of the game.
That's what I'm saying.
They've been doing fine the whole time, everything.
I wouldn't watch an NFL Fox game.
It's Troy Aegeman or Joe Buckin isn't commentating.
You wouldn't?
No.
You wouldn't?
You wouldn't?
If there's someone else?
No.
You're a little too into them.
Listen, I like them, but I'm still going to watch the game.
Joe Buck and Troy are
commentating I'm out
But Malick is your favorite team
I don't care
Malick is a Buck Akeman free
I go crazy over
That voice is so soothing
I love it
Have you heard Joe Buck?
Close eyes and listen to him
For baseball he's the best
For baseball he's the best
He's so good
John Smoltz is good
He's good
Baseball's just too long to watch
But for the times I've heard
Yeah it is
I like going to the games
And drinking
eating hot dogs
that's fun.
I mean once every five years.
By that I mean once every five years.
But I mean a couple of innings.
Oh, Dodgers and World Series.
Very cool.
Once every five years.
Once every five years.
Yeah.
One out of five.
I'm going to start taking my kids to sporting events, I think.
That'd be a good thing to do.
You got a weight.
The whole ordeal killed.
It's a lot.
It's a part of the game.
Just give me movie theaters.
I'm sitting in fucking traffic.
But Dodgers said, hey, man, you guys won the World Series.
Can we relocate somewhere?
Oh, yeah.
Do I have to go up the fucking.
I hate that. I hate that little.
And Los Angeles, you're a fucking huge metropolitan city.
Some would say the biggest, one of the most important.
Get an airport that fucking works.
Well, they're doing construction on it.
That'll last. It's taking too long.
It's the ugliest airport.
It's the ugliest airport.
It's the worst airport.
That weird thing in the middle used to be a restaurant, the sky lounge.
Who the fuck's idea was that.
Get out of here.
But if you go to some of those new terminals, like you think it's Southwest and maybe Delta,
with the new new dude
they have like steakhouse sushi
lemonade
I still think it sucks
Starbucks
Why don't you marry it
What else you got?
You guys are talking about alcohol
So they just
Archaeologists uncovered a 5,000 year old brewery in Egypt
Wow
Oh shit
Is there any alcohol though
No
Look what it says
Do you know it'll keep
It can produce thousands of liters
Archaeologists have discovered a 5,000 year old brewery
That could produce 1,000 of beer
in ancient Egypt city of
Abios? Abidos? Abidos?
Abidos?
Just tourism.
What are the two things they found?
Vitos.
What are the two foods they found
that you could actually eat
that were over, I think,
3,000 years old?
And did they find them or they just say you could eat them?
They found them.
They were preserved.
They were preserved.
Because I know you can eat Twinkies
and a McDonald's Cheeseburger after like 20 years.
Look up when Pompey was.
When did Pompey get hit with the
with the volcano.
The volcano?
Yeah.
Let me see this.
Oh, this was on the Lexer.
And there's food?
There's two foods.
79 AD.
79 AD, ladies and gentlemen.
So that's 2,500 years ago.
That's forever.
Yeah, forever ago, okay?
So Pompeii was hit with a volcano,
and it's just completely obliterated.
But you can go there,
and you can still see there was pottery,
and it basically covered the city with ash.
So it burned people, and you could see their shadow.
It was almost like a nuclear bomb, right?
But Pompeii itself was kind of preserved.
A lot of the stuff was preserved.
Even some of the paintings and stuff were preserved.
But they found in a essentially like a makeshift clay oven sort of thing, they found two foods.
What would they be?
Two foods.
And they were edible.
And the fucking crazy.
Apples could actually.
Wow.
What the fuck?
Get out.
Not an apple.
What the fuck?
If I cut an apple on half.
I can't.
In 20 minutes it's brown.
In 20 minutes it's brown.
I can't add
Chappelle's all bananas,
avocados
fruit, right?
Out of all the things.
He's doing this.
He goes like this.
He was dead serious.
He was dead.
You're better.
You're better than this.
I never took my eyes off bright.
Oh my God.
If I cut an apple
during the middle of the show,
it's not good.
So, racist.
So it says.
Apple?
This is 79 AD.
Let me just say.
I'm a,
fuck.
You're a great teacher.
And it's a,
it'd have to be some sort of bread.
Not a bread.
No, that's not a bread.
I say, I say, my thing is oatmeal.
Yeah, why don't you throw something out?
Like, because I try.
No, not old milk.
Well, you said it was in an oven, right?
Think about what people probably had in Pompeii.
In Pompeii.
Like, what goes back?
Like, what is something that goes back?
Like, when you think of Rome, when you think of back then, what were they, what were they taking in as a, what were they, what was on the dinner table?
What was on the dinner table?
What was on, what was on the king's table?
It was like pottery.
He had like...
Oh, like chicken?
No, what the fuck?
On the king's table.
No, but he said...
They might have had chicken.
That went to preserve.
Is that going to survive?
Again, if I leave a chick-flake sandwich, right, help me.
I'm saying, my mother-fired chicken.
Y'all haven't said anything.
I've thrown out everything.
I said pottery.
I said, like, what is it is an oven.
So, so one of the things is...
Like a stew?
It exists in its, in nature.
One of the things is just in its, like, you don't have to do anything.
Nuts.
You can eat it in nature.
Nuts.
No?
Mushrooms?
Insects.
Not mushrooms.
You can eat it in nature.
It's there.
It's already there in nature, and you just got to get it.
Oh, Chinese plums.
Yes.
Yes, Chinese plums.
See you throw something out there.
No, what?
You can eat that in nature.
Not the only dumb.
Never heard of Chinese folks.
I was talking about Pompeii.
What did you do?
What is it?
Think about it.
Yon can jump in as well.
Did it be a vegetable?
That part of the world.
Is it a vegetable?
Is it a vegetable?
That part of the world, which was where.
So we're talking about Italy, right?
and olive?
olive.
It could be olive oil, but it's not.
But, okay.
But you said in the oven.
Well, it was in a clay.
I must say it.
I'm just the oven.
I fucked you up, and I knew I would.
Yeah, but there's still no apples in an oven.
It was in a sealed off, like,
cavern.
And it's not a soup. It's not a stew.
It's not avocado.
It's not a nut.
One of them exists in nature.
The other is, all of us have had it.
I like it a lot.
Oh, Bride.
Oh, is it hummus?
She said it.
Wine?
I said,
You said food.
Is it a liquid?
You had no two foods.
Thank you.
You, that's what you said.
Of course it's wine.
He goes, what is the keys?
What do you have on his table?
He goes,
chicken and chicken.
I'm looking to feed you.
Chicken apples, we know it's not.
Wine and what else?
And then what's the other?
Now, this is not a hummus.
It's not like a Greek.
This is a food.
This is a food.
This is.
This is a food, and it exists in nature.
It's there.
In nature.
I can get it.
I can get it.
How do I get it?
I can harvest it, maybe.
Maybe that's the way to say it.
Or I can, yeah, or I can gather it.
How would I get it?
Is it a grain?
Yeah.
Not a grain.
Not a grain.
Is it a fruit?
It's in nature, and I can eat it.
I can just, now I've got to be careful.
Here's a hint.
I'd have to be careful about getting it.
I'd have to be a little careful about getting it.
Brick is poison?
Is it honey?
We're in honey.
Jeez.
Two liquids.
Yo, I asked if there's a liquid.
Honey is not liquid.
No, no hell.
What you, Brian?
How the hell?
Food.
You said, you said two boobs.
Hold on.
Are we asked.
First of all, he goes, it was found in another.
Yes.
Yes.
And it's not liquid.
Dude.
That's exactly.
That's exactly.
He ain't a liquid.
I'd be liquid.
I'm not like, oh, I'm dying of thirst.
You guys got any fucking eyes.
It's a lot of food, though.
Well, why?
What about why?
When I cross his days,
the one day I look for it is a nice,
Dude, it's a nice, cold glass of honey.
It's not a food, though.
It sure is.
Dude, in an oven?
It's a fucking honey, bro.
This is a nightmare.
This was a nightmare.
Honey and wine.
Come on.
You know, what you presented that question was so often.
Well, sometimes a little tricky.
But you know, it's two tricky than I said, chicken and apple.
Call me the tricky weathered worm.
Hey, you know what's not tricky?
Sure's like it was in a Chinese plum or an apple?
Well, no.
A Chinese plum?
I ain't never heard.
I mean an Asian pair, you fuck?
A fucking Chinese
Look up Chinese people.
I know what is a Chinese clove?
Have you guys ever seen?
Chinese clums?
I don't believe it.
Unless it's some sexual thing.
Is it made a match?
Told you.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, but you know where they're not?
Oh, you're in Mesa.
They're not in Pompeii.
They're in Pompeii.
They're in China.
They're everywhere.
We had a Chinese plum tree.
I would impress.
All right.
You got it.
Yeah, you never have one of those.
I never have.
You call me a bri.
You're up in a tree.
You were up in a tree.
Chinese plum works out.
There's so many Chinese plum trees in New Orleans.
Everybody knows that.
His dad was the plums are.
What else you got, Jen?
You know how Taylor Swift is re-recording a lot of her songs because of the...
Do I?
Yeah, because...
Yeah, because...
Yeah, you fuck.
Well, here's what's interesting.
I don't care about her or Chinese plums.
Yeah, I don't care about Chinese.
Hold on, now.
That was delicious.
But Taylor's story is interesting.
And someone bought all her masters, and she's like, I own those.
They're like, no, you don't.
We own all.
the rights. So she's like, oh, cool story,
and then she's redoing all of them
so she can own it. Yeah. And guess
all the fans are going to go to those.
She goes, don't listen to those, don't buy
those, buy this, and there's six new songs,
and all the old songs. And you're going to go over there
where the artist tells you to go. And that scooter, Braun,
Justin Bieber's manager, bought
them, but everyone's like, yeah, asshole, you're fucked.
He's like, he already sold him to somebody else. He's like,
I already made like $300 million off this. I don't know.
Well, those songs,
they'll be eligible for winning a Grammy.
Not on the songwriting category.
but actual the song.
The old ones?
Yeah.
That's stupid.
Even Cardigan?
I'm sure.
I think that album is actually...
What is Cardigan?
Is that her?
That's not a famous song.
That one's owned by her.
That's a fairly new one.
That came out a few months ago.
I apologize.
So that's the rules right there.
If they're recorded within the last five years.
That's weird.
Weird, huh?
That's strange.
But not for songwriting since that's like obviously you can't do that, right?
It's tight move by her to take power.
Yeah.
Smart.
Lottie's artists now lately, they're
like I want to own my masters.
I'm going to control my role.
I'm going to put out,
yeah.
That's the new way.
Yeah, with your stand-up,
if you sell your special
and you want to redo them
and just put them on YouTube.
If you sell it to Netflix,
you never get it back.
Yeah.
They own it.
They don't license.
They buy it.
So there's no license.
But you can do it live
and just kind of put it out on YouTube.
Oops.
You know,
if not doing it,
it's not promoting it.
You're never going to work with them again.
Don't listen to that advice.
If you want me on Netflix,
don't shoot a Netflix special
and then release on YouTube too.
Yeah.
Because Netflix, you know, oh, whatever work.
Well, I'm saying, I'm saying if it's lost, then they're not promoting it.
Oh, got it.
If they're not, yeah, pushing the special.
I mean, people do that.
They don't.
I can't wait to ride with that.
I don't know who to listen to that.
I know, right?
Do you know about this controversy by?
Yeah, I'm outraged by her getting fucking canceled, but.
Okay, so.
Well, I mean, she's fighting back.
She's teaming up with, yeah.
She's kind of, well, yeah, she's fighting back.
What is she doing?
She's doing a movie with Ben Shapiro.
Yeah, his company.
About her life, right?
I think it's about her life or just maybe something that she's wanted to do it all the life.
It's a far cry for Manalorian, but good for her.
You know, it's not Star Wars, it's not Disney.
Here's what gets a little dicey is even when she did all this tweets, which some of them, whatever, if you want to be political, be political.
The Nazi one with Corona, little extreme.
I don't know if she should be firing, but little extreme.
I didn't find it, she was a clumsy, it might have been a clumsy comparison, but all she was saying is that a lot of,
these things start with snitching on your neighbor.
And that's not good for unity.
It's not, and I agree with her.
Here's the problem, though, so then Disney knows all this.
Then she had the transgender thing.
But then she even went back on that and apologized.
She's like, I didn't realize I was offending people by putting my pronouns are bebob boop.
You know, she was like, she was like, yeah, yeah.
And she goes, oh, I talked to a transgender friend and they let me know that's not okay.
I apologize.
So whatever.
She apologized.
But then with this stuff, Disney was like, hey, man, if you're going to stay on,
you need to apologize.
and she refused to do a apology.
That's when they fired her.
But I, yeah, again, I wouldn't have apologized because I don't know what she has to apologize for.
She made a reference to the Holocaust.
She wasn't belittling Jews.
She wasn't belittling culture.
She wasn't belitting religion at all.
She was saying that she has a point of view on this, which is that some of these government
policies are oppressive or are authoritarian.
Especially where she's at California.
And historically, a lot of these things do.
start this way. I'm not saying
I'm not saying I even necessarily agree. I'm just
saying it's a clumsy comparison but to
I think you know what I think she shouldn't lose her job. I think she
lost her job for her I think sometimes
I think they're waiting to fire and they're like
all right yeah she did what and people upset
sometimes they go you know we have
we want to take the story a different place we want a
different actress oh so it's like
it's an easy out I think so but it's also
not easy out her fucking co-star
who is very left wing
what's his name the other guy
he posted something exactly
Pascal Pedro.
Pascal. He was on Game of Thrones.
Yeah, in 2018, he fucking tweeted
something way more clumsy.
He tweeted a fucking Holocaust reference
where he had kids in cages at the border.
And then he had concentration cancer.
Now those kids, comparing those kids,
and it's terrible that they're taking away from their parents,
you don't compare that.
It's not comparable to Jews who are starved, tortured.
Well, none of it's comparable.
Just don't compare it.
None of it's compared.
And that's a really clumsy comparison.
He didn't lose his job.
Sure did.
He celebrated.
So you think they wanted her out.
Because he's on, because he's on that last side of the spectrum.
No, we live in a time if you, she's the Trump supporter.
Got it.
Wait, you know.
So they want to cancel anyone who's different.
If you're a Trump supporter and you're in Hollywood, it's no secret.
If you're a Trump supporter and you're anywhere now, it's no secret.
But she had to know that she was going to lose your job.
She knew, she had to know that there was going to be some backlash.
Some back.
That's what I'm thinking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You had to know it's going to be consequences of repercussions.
But now Dana's in trouble because what because.
So he's not.
necessarily in trouble, but
he said something like in defense of...
He said, leave Gina alone.
Yeah.
And then Dana's argument is because they
asked Ariel, who's a ESPN employee.
That's where the story is.
He goes, oh, this whatever, that kid's a douche.
Yeah.
Because he's trying to make it about himself.
That's like, Ariel did this post,
a very long post on his Instagram.
I'm with Dana on this.
I'm with Dana on this.
Ariel said like, you know, he's disappointed Gina.
Yeah, I mean, it's my huge thing.
Jews and all this is like,
Hey, Ariel.
It ain't about you.
Yeah, it's not about it.
You don't need to tweet about every single Jewish thing.
This isn't about you.
And he's also in the world, too.
So you're just dogpiling on Gina.
The interview she's giving you and shit, it's like, what are you doing?
So Dana didn't say, he didn't mention about his Jewish heritage.
He just goes, like, kids, a douche, basically.
Yeah.
And if you know the background between Dana and Ariel, they don't like each other.
So, of course, Dan is take a shot at him.
Yeah.
And then all the, you know, the wokeiest being, like, we're like, oh, Dana should be fired.
And good for you, Ariel.
Oh, God, get out of here.
Yeah, Ariel, Ariel does create a lot of fighters the wrong way.
I mean, Ariel, a lot of people get mad at him.
Yeah, because he's before that wants to get content.
He's also a good, I mean, Ariel, to be fair, is pretty good journalist.
I mean, pretty good MMA journalist, I would say.
I mean, you know, but a lot of people don't like him because he calls you on stuff.
Oh, just that, so this is just him saying, because he's saying that Ariel's making about it,
and it kind of does seem like he does make it about him, too.
But of course, he's also very offended by what happened, too.
But I'll play this clip.
Remember, Dana, it wasn't that offensive.
I'm sorry.
For everybody to go in on her.
I love how Ara Wani made it all about him.
It was all about him.
Yeah.
Such a douche.
Yeah, that's it.
Oh, that's all he's.
But again, he's not anti-Semitic.
He's not anti-Gy.
He hates Ariel.
He's not like Ariel's that individual.
He's talking about Ariel.
Has nothing to do.
And I think there's an argument to be made there, I think.
He's kind of, a lot of people don't like Ariel.
You look at Ariel's tweet like, geez, dude.
Don't be, hey, hey, hey, era.
You don't have to beat a dead horse.
Don't talk.
pile. She already got fucked.
Correct.
Fucked over big stuff. Yeah, you're not helping
anyone by the other. Yeah, you're definitely just adding
to it. A couple of your colleagues at ESPN gave you the
raw, raw, but that's about it. You're not winning any
fans about it. They have to do that too. Well, you know, I interviewed
this guy, Alistair Boswick, who is a
journalist, and he's a journalist at Huffington Post
at BuzzFeed, very liberal kind of
things. And I said to him, I go, if you had
a story that, if you had one story
that, say, was positive about Trump, so if you said took one thing, like,
I don't know, let's say you took something like
Trump's deregulation policies.
and you can make an argument
that they were good for economic business
for some businesses or for certain
segments of the economy.
They're good for like, you know.
And he said, it would get greenlit,
but this is what happened.
This is what's going on with our media.
It would get green lit.
Your editor's not going to say you can't write it.
The problem is, are they going to promote it?
Are they going to put it on the front page?
How is it going to be for you
when you come back to work the next day
when all your colleagues are cutting their eyes at you?
And how long can you sustain that?
If you're the one guy that's trying to, like if you're just trying to be controversial.
Yeah.
If you're kind of going, let me see if I can come up with middle ground.
There's some things I like about the right, some things I like about the left.
You got to be all or one when you work for the Huffington Post.
When you work for BuzzFeed.
Now when the BuzzFeed writes something or Fox News writes something or Breitbart writes something,
I already know what there's an agenda.
I know what the conclusion is.
So I got to read everything from the right or the left with a grand assault.
Because there's too much pressure on a journal.
It used to be you came and the whole thing was to write objectively, right?
You wrote, you're trying to be responsive to evidence and you go, well, here's this and here's that.
That's what I also worry about.
I don't know where to look.
Where do you get your info?
Can you just read it all over?
All over.
All over.
All over.
What else got, Jen?
Remember that girl that stopped the bird watcher and she had a little dog?
Yeah.
Remember that girl?
Yeah, yeah.
So she was, her cases dropped now because she finished a program that.
helped her learn about her actions and how bad they were.
So the judge was fine with that.
So I just wonder what you guys think.
I thought he dropped the charges.
No, she had to go to that program and then the case is dropped.
I don't think he could do anything more after.
I think that's better than toss her in prison.
Yeah, so she had to learn what happened and change.
What were the charges?
Why did she get arrested?
She just called.
She did a fake report.
She had a fake report about it.
She was trying to hurt her.
Just because he's a black guy bird watching the park.
That would piss me the fuck off.
Yeah, that's scary.
The video is very crazy.
Yeah, it's horrible.
Thank God there's video, though.
She called a false report.
She was acting like she was being...
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, yeah.
It was pretty bad.
It was terrible.
It's bad.
That's fucked up, man.
I don't have a lot...
That's a good question, I know.
I don't think, but she should go to prison?
No, I think it's good.
She's already been talking.
She got educated, yeah.
Yeah, it's better to learn from this.
Better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh, I mean,
long-time radio host personality, Rush Limbaugh.
The last away?
Yeah, today.
Oh, he did.
Oh, damn.
Really?
Not old.
He was 70?
It was trending.
He was trending on Twitter, but it was RIP, but it didn't stand for rest in peace.
It's staying for something else.
Rest and Piss?
Yeah, you saw that, right?
No.
People hated him.
Yeah.
Some people loved him.
But he died of throat cancer or something like that?
Lung cancer.
Long cancer.
Long cancer.
30 years.
Damn.
Wow.
Yeah, that's not what you want.
It's weird people would celebrate his death, though.
Because it's political views?
Yeah.
He was pretty a picture.
Yeah.
Very right wing.
And this is the last one.
So Elon Musk was on Rogan again.
That's a new sprinter.
Yeah, he said that's part of the future for Tesla to do vans.
Because it's just way better technology for solar panels.
There's more space.
Oh, that makes sense.
So you can just keep driving?
And the top part, it'll open up like that to give them more space.
I want a tour bus.
Can you imagine you and me?
That's what people are doing.
They're basing off the sprinter.
They want to base off the sprinter.
Yeah.
Because that's what all, like, musicians are using now.
Those are luxurious.
And trick them out?
Yeah, they're sick.
I love that.
You seen the babies one?
No.
Oh, missed that.
You're going to get that, Brian?
100%.
I'm feeling like I'm so scared of the world.
Yeah.
Like, I want something that can go...
You'll be Van Guy?
I'm a son.
I'll be Van Guy, but I want my guns.
I want my food.
I want my water purification kit.
I want my first aid.
Oh, you'll be weird van guy.
I'll be weird van guy.
I want my lentils and my rice.
yeah oh how about this
what
so there you are
this survivalist was talking about all these guys
are buying guns right
you know in case
I think it was in a story
just recently
yeah no it was like a couple of
okay we're good then
go what you're saying
go for this this prepper
this survivalist was like you know
all these guys are buying guns
and they all ready
I got my NRA 15
he got my 30 and he's like so I can kill deer
and he goes that's fucking so cool guys
where's your 22
and I was
at what? And he goes, where's you two long gun
and your pistol? And they're like, wow,
we need fucking firebought. That's awesome.
I know. Problem is when the shit hits the fan,
you're not going to be able to
go out to the woods and catch deer.
Killing deer and finding him as a motherfucker.
You know what you can shoot all the time and eat?
Squirrels. And they're in your
fucking backyard. So he wants to kill squirrels?
So he has a 22
in case he needs fast protein.
Squirrels are everywhere in the city.
The weird guy. You're a weird guy. The weird guy.
The weird guy.
The weird guy. The weird guy.
The weird guy. The weird guy.
The weird guy.
I'm going to have a 22 long gun.
Why, why don't you kill ducks and geese?
I can that with 22, too.
Okay.
You had to get that off your chest a little bit.
I saw you.
22, that's the...
What are we going to box?
What do you mean?
Let's go to the next time.
I saw this this morning.
Apparently, they found a secret will that Larry King wrote on a piece of scrap paper.
And it actually leaves his estranged wife out of
the will entirely.
He says it's because
back in the day she banged
their son's little league coach.
Wow.
So he last minute, cut her out of the will.
As he's dying.
That's holding a grudge. Let it go.
Wow.
A secret bank account, though, which he gave more than
$266,000 to Larry Jr.
Without her knowledge.
And she's entitled to declare those gifts void
and demand to be returned.
Wow. How much money do you?
So he's like, Kay, I'm not leaving her anything
because she fucked my son's baseball.
coach.
Everyone's like, okay,
that's cool.
Years ago,
that's crazy.
I mean, that's holding on
to a quiet time.
But also make sense,
though.
Yeah,
but as you're dying,
you're supposed to be just,
no,
I'm,
I want to leave money to my kids,
man.
Fuck her.
She's fucking baseball coaches
and sucking off
the little league kids.
You're literally,
right in it.
Whoa.
Oh,
that's my.
You can't.
You cannot
smoke.
You can't add spice
like that.
We were all.
Yeah.
Don't do that with your lips.
Is that the little Lisa?
What are you looking at?
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
She's not, she didn't do it.
Good for Larry King, man.
Rest in peace, my man.
Rest in power, as they say.
Rest in power.
You still, the dip is gone, though.
It's gone.
Yeah, I take it out.
When Papa gets hungry, I get it out.
Oh.
Because you get a little dizzy or?
Yeah, I get dizzy.
Both.
So now, this is a new thing.
You do the nicotine.
Still?
I've been doing nicotine for a while.
Yeah, this is all this is nicotine.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it's not tobacco.
Just nicotine.
patches. Shot to rogue. Splots your boy.
It keeps you alert.
It's good for your mental acuity.
Yeah, it's supposed to be good for the brain.
Yeah, you know what else is really good? What's that?
Adderall.
Are you pitching drugs again?
Remember you when he did that?
Wait, he pitched drugs?
Yeah, he keeps putting on drugs.
I've done Adderall? I've done something similar.
I didn't stop talking for 30 hours.
I can't do it. I didn't finish my paper.
I took in college. Someone walked in to grab like a bear.
I'm like, hey, what are you doing, man?
I'm like, Jesus, let me go.
I didn't finish any of my work.
A friend of mine has takes Adderall for ADD.
He said, try this.
You could use it.
I go, I don't, I'm not a truck.
You could use it?
Gave me fucking half an Adderall.
It came on.
Well, I was on.
I was not playing.
Dude, I was doing this.
I was swallowing.
I was like, well, this is cocaine.
I'm fucking high as fuck.
And I want to start a business and fucking fly the plane.
And you know what?
And it's pretty awesome.
It's, well, it's too awesome.
Every baseball player's on it.
Is that right?
A lot of NFL guys are on it.
A lot of comics.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
What?
Because I like it too much.
Oh, hell no.
It's the best.
Do you have some?
No, but you got to...
Wait, wait, well, again, what...
You got energy for fucking the next six hours.
Dude, you could write a whole business plan.
Dude, it's nuts.
I mean, he came in with big and hungry on it.
And we'll end on that.
A weathered worm.
Mr. Callan.
I love you guys.
Dude, love you.
I'm thankful for you, bro.
Thank you, yeah.
Thank you, guys.
Thanks for having me.
First of many, my man.
I miss you.
This has been amazing.
Go see Brian, Virginia Beach, Funny Bone, 19th through the 21st.
Friday is Sunday.
Friday is Sunday.
I'm done that in a long time.
Sunday makes me sad.
It makes me sad.
Jacksonville, Florida, Comedy Zone, March 4th through the 6.
Omaha, Nebraska, Funny Bone.
March 11th to 13th.
You wrote a on a podcast on a, aka weathered worm.
The weathered worm is on the big and a hundred market on Monday.
Do you call your show The Weathered Worm and the Asian pair?
No Chinese plum.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I like Asian pairs, though.
He's also Korean, half Korean.
Well, he's Asian, though, isn't he?
Yeah, half, half.
And Irish, right?
Irish, yeah.
Yeah.
You want to be Asian, I mean.
He's Asian, right?
You wouldn't call him Irish.
Steve?
He looks in Asian gene is a more dominant gene.
Yeah, I'd never look at him.
I wouldn't do that either.
No, I wouldn't do.
No, you have a splash of Irish.
Yeah.
That's like a splash of Irish.
He's half, half.
He's not half.
No, that's 100% Irish.
Is he?
I don't believe that.
No, I don't know.
I messed that.
Yeah.
with you. I don't believe that. His mom's super Korean though, like accent Korean Korean.
And his dad's, where'd they meet? Dad is as, as, as Pittsburgh Irish as you get.
Really? Just a white, oh, interesting. Oh, yeah. I think that was a thing back in the day. Irish and Asian were like a really big couple way back in the day. I'd watch that. I'd watch that.
So, yeah, so you see him? There's his dad. Yeah. Wow. Wow. There's mom and dad right there. Look at that. Wow. Yeah. He is Asian and Irish. She's a tiger mom. She didn't fuck her.
around. Oh yeah? Yeah. He looks
like his dad. Yeah, he does.
You know what? He looks like a perfect mix.
You know, Steve, the nicest
guy. What are you laughing at that, chin?
A perfect. Her cheeks? No, him. He looks kind of
like an older, like a very old Jim Carrey.
Am I tripping or what?
I have a good call. That's had not a bad call.
All right. Now, Steve, Steve, nicest man
in the world. Niceest person. Help so many
comments on. He'll fight you, he'll fight you
right now. He's a hot head.
Like when he's driving, he's like, what the fuck
is this guy doing? I'm like, Jesus. Yeah.
Does he drive like an Asian, like an Irish?
He drives like an Irishman, but he'll fight.
Weird.
He's the liability.
I go, you'll fight quickly.
He goes, I do, I have a bad temper.
I go, but you don't have the tools.
Like, you don't.
No, I don't.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't.
He tried to fight this Russian fucking cab driver.
He was smoking cigarette.
He goes, I think he was Armenian.
And the guy's like this.
And he goes, we'd like to take your cab.
And the guy goes, we're done with my cigarette.
and Steve goes
oh geez all right well fuck you know
and then like five minutes goodbye
we gotta go actually he goes
I'm not finished yet but you know
when I'm finished we will go
and Steve goes well fuck this guy I'm not taking it
and he spits on the ground
and the guy goes you spit at me
and Steve goes hey listen dude
and the guy goes
and the guy goes
Bopop
broke his fucking job
no
he had to wire
his dog and you know what
he was like
I guess I guess his buddy.
He didn't learn a lesson.
Still hot-headed.
And his buddy,
his buddy was like that.
His buddy was,
the guy goes,
kick it and knocked his buddy out too.
You spit at me?
You spit at me?
That's what you get.
So back to the shark.
Finish on the shark.
Love you guys.
We love you, man.
We miss you.
I do.
This is amazing.
Thank you.
We'll have to do this more,
my man.
So fun.
I'm in Tampa next week.
That is February 26,
27th, Tampa,
Tampa Improv, 26, 27th, then Cleveland, Ohio, hilarities, March 11th through the 13th.
Tell me that guy say hi.
I definitely won't do that.
And then Spokane, Washington, March 18th through the 20th.
It's open.
Spokane Washington, it's open.
That's a rescheduled date.
So all the shows are sold out.
We're adding a show to Thursday, March 18th, March 20th, Spokane, Washington, Spokane Comedy Club.
Get your tickets at F-A-T-K-Z.com.
Thick-boy giveaway for the helmet.
It's still going on.
Thick-boy helmet.
I'm never wearing my hair like that again.
Thickboy.com for the one of one.
Thick boy helmet.
Never dyeing my mustache.
Listen.
Get the helmet.
We're going to give away the helmet.
One lucky fan.
All you got to do is subscribe to Thickboy
newsletter and you'll double your chance to win
if you do buy a piece of merch as well.
You look like a magician. You just pulled that out of a hat.
I look like a sex guru.
That's what I look like.
You do.
Yeah.
It's a bad look.
This guy Fox.
Go see Chappelle in Kansas City.
The City, yeah, the comedy club of Kansas City, February 25th, 27th.
It's called the Comedy Club of Kansas City.
All right.
I know, right?
And then I'll be in Austin, Texas, March 5th through the 6th at the Vulcan Gas Company.
Also, love us tight merch, Chappellellacey.com.
Oh, yeah, thanks for bringing that today.
And it's in the car.
I know, that's what I'm saying thanks.
Someone told me you did.
Just kidding, I was calling your bluff.
Yeah.
Right, Call on.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
Fellas.
It's the fighter in the rings
Back up in the ring
I live so heavy
One can barely coffee
That's the only thing he drinks
But you put them both together
That's the fighter and the rings
It's the fighter and the rings
Back up in the ring
I live so heavy
One can barely blink
One pouring coffee
That's the only thing he drinks
But you put them both together
That's the fighter and the rings
Turn the show on
Like what's up with you
Same crew, but there's always something new.
Pour the whiskey on the rocks and make sure it's 100 proof.
It was T-Fat K, but now you know it's T-Fat WU.
Yeah, it's that part two, yeah.
Welcome to the sequel.
Looking to his face and you can see like every wrinkle.
Brennan trying to keep going because he hate to stop.
And Rinks is getting tired, but it's only 8 o'clock.
Hey, let's can tell us a story about what it was like back in 1840.
Always going back and forth.
