The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 225 Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: December 7, 2025

Comedian/actor Chris D'Elia joins Brendan and Bryan to share stories about working at Abercrombie, why he absolutely hates United Airlines and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken. Chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them.

Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Onet Studios in Pliya, Vista, California, it is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. It doesn't matter. Sounds better when you see it.

Live. But we're not live. We don't do live, right, man. And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. It's not live. It's not live. All moves are mobile.

Diddy shit, son? P. Diddy shit, son? Like your car out there. Yeah. Chris Leah's got a car and he's got terrible shoes and he's eating oatmeal on the podcast. How are you going to clown on some Jordan Air Force ones? The original... No, those aren't Air Force ones. Those are the original Jays.

It just bothers me that you guys give it. I hate that Chris does this. He goes... Did we start? Yeah. All right, what do you hate? You'll show me your shoes and you go, they're so dope. Yeah.

Well, you're a grown man. You're 36, man. I'm young. I'm young. You're 36. I'll let you know when I'm an adult. How's that? Young at heart

I'll let you know when I'm an adult How's that? Look I'm a kid bro I know I'm just a little pup When do you think you'll grow up Because we were talking

I'm so young We were talking before we got here We were talking before here Yeah you're so young It's like our friend Stevie Brian goes Bro he just spent all day on Instagram And he went to the gym

He's like 16 year old Steve he blew eyes Yeah and he goes And Brian goes You know at least he's young He's not that young And Stevie goes I am 32

Not that young bro It's well we were talking talking about how like you like I was thinking about working at Lehman brothers and then kind of realizing well I said to Chris as he got out of his car I go can you believe we do this for living the sun shining and we get to go be silly geese and then we do stand up and we get paid to you know to use our imagination it's like a dream come true but I remember working at Lehman brothers at a bank waking up early dude and and working it and then I quit and worked at a restaurant called Bubbies and I remember like waiting on actors and people in the business and

and they had long hair and they looked cool and they had nice clothes and they looked like they had freedom. They just looked like they had fun. That's what I think I was drawn to was freedom. It was the idea that they could do what they wanted and it seemed like it was so much fucking fun. Have you ever had a real job, Chris? Yeah, for like a summer. What'd you do?

Like internship? No, I worked up I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch. No, you didn't. Oh boy. Were you the model or selling sight and clothes? It was before all that shit. They did not have the model out out front and all that. And when did you decide to be an actor when you realized that you were, you don't have bones?

No, because you're so bendy and you're so, yeah, but that's because I'm very malleable. As an actor, I'm very, you know, I can just kind of like throw myself into the part. I didn't know. I just, when did you decide? Wait, did you always know you're going to be? I just always kind of thought. Yeah, my dad was like, dude, my whole family is so silly and shit. They are, right?

So I was like, what the fuck am I going to do? Your father laughs his ass off at your standoff. Really? Dude, his father's a huge director-producer, right? Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar. I mean, he's down everything. Well, I mean, some of the best TV shows ever, your dad was a producer. Yeah, he's Steven Spielberg.

Simpsons. James Cameron. No, but he was in, like, so many great shows. And then, and he was sitting there watching Chris and laughing so freaking hard. Yeah, because he's like, I can't believe my, you know, like my fucking idiot son, I used to tell him not to do this shit. And now you, because you probably thought you were in turn. out to be, let's be honest, kind of like that one kid. We all know that kid.

Yeah. Well, I'm still like that. I just make money at it. Yeah. I'm not a kid. I just had a way to make money up. Fuck that. Being a banker and all that bullshit. Oh my God. I don't, like, never even was an idea that I could pursue. Did you go to college? For a year. Where?

NYU. I went to So you got good grades. I mean. It's tough to get in NYU. Chris is actually strangely disciplined as much of a strange willow wisp that is. I know that. I just won't, don't, I won't do what I don't want to do. Yeah, you're a trium, disciplined in what I want to do. Yeah.

And then when you do it, you show up every day on time. Yeah. Dude, uh, I did fucking jiu-jitsu for six years every single day. You did, didn't it? Yeah, I wanted to do it. Did you ever get better? No, no, no. You're not, you're not made for-for-old. I was like, oh, these guys are competing.

I don't want to compete. I just want to do it. Well, it sounds, if you sign up for jitsu, you can go every day, I think that falls with everything in line. So I'm assuming you just get. If you like something, you're just balls deep. Like, you're committed. Yeah.

And then I, after that, I, like, hurt my knee. And then I just started doing stand-up. And I was like, oh, this is my life. How old were you then? 25 or 26? I mean, not, I mean. No, not for stand-up. Chris used to feature for me and Dove David off.

Yeah. We would go down to La Jolla at the comic store, which is awesome. Yeah. And then he was doing this fucking deer that got shot. And I was like, this motherfucker is doing a deer that got shot. And he was so physical. He was more physical than me. And then I would get up and do my physical stuff.

and it wasn't they weren't laughing the same way i was like this son of a bitch is more flexible and being even more ridiculous than me i don't know and then he was like and then he goes you're the reason i do everything no i didn't say that man something like that no it wasn't even near that i said oh nice to meet you and then he would do this this idiot this idiot we're all staying in the same condo and he would have like i realized he was obsessive compulsive because he would change his shirt he changed his shirt 13 times really i go i go i don't know how many times and i go and i would keep going, you're going to wear the hat? Wait, different outfits?

No, like, different, doing different shows? No, no, no, no. Very simple shit. Yeah, I do. Do you? Yeah. Yes. But you know what I remember?

Not to deflect it, we can talk about that. But you know what I remember what I was thinking about the other day? It was when we were at in La Jolla, you did this, you kept doing this bit where it was like, where you were like, where you told me to go to the Mac store and buy you a computer. Oh, yeah. I was building you. You would, oh, the whole weekend, he would just be like, go. Go back store and buy me a computer. And I would ask to borrow your girl

for the weekend. Yeah. I remember all that shit. You guys would go down there and stay down there? He was married. He was married. And I'd be like, you were married at the time?

Yeah, I'd be like, let me borrow your wife for the weekend. I got these Russian guys coming in to say that. He goes, you can't borrow my wife, bro. I go just to borrow for the weekend. But I remember... How long ago is this? Eight years? Eight fucking years.

But I remember, though, I remember you and Dove and thinking like... Because, you know, comedians are so weird. A lot of them. Yes. And when I met you and Dove, I was like, fuck, finally, dude, there's guys that are comedians that I could actually hang out with. That you can laugh with him, silly with you? Yeah. Because I, don't you think, and this past week, as you know, I've been out every night doing gigs.

And I forgot how, and all due respect to most comedians, but I forgot how depressing being around most comedians just is. A lot of them. Yeah. And I was like, ooh, this is tough for me at my age to hang out at clubs all the time. Well, we were at the club and we were just, and we found ourselves just sitting with each other. Yes. And we were like, man, I've got to get out of here.

Yeah. Yeah. But I want to talk about something more important is that you're the kind of guy who sits down and reads a paragraph out of a book. Yeah, yeah. And that pisses me on. No, because you were boring me already. No, no, no, no.

We sat down and he literally opened a book and starts reading. And I was like, Brent's going to be here in two seconds. What are you trying to get done, though? No, no. He's getting ready for his dropping knowledge. Now, whatever that is, pisses me off. I feel my brain pen, and I like to get those thoughts out to other people as well. Okay, so you're-to-my fan base.

He likes a mental workout. So what you're doing is you're finding something so you can share it with the podcast, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The people are there. They could just look it up. No, no, no. Just tell them to look it up.

Tell them to go by the book. Yeah, yeah, tell me to go by the book. No, no, no. It comes from my mouth. Brian's book of the week, maybe? Yeah, you didn't do shit. No, listen. You're just reciting.

Hey, we call it regurgitating. Yeah, yeah. You're like a mama bird. Regurgitating info. Both you need to know something. And the fan base is the baby birds and you're just, you mama bird? You mama bird?

Open your, hey, open your fucking mouths, you baby birds. Don't do that. So we agree, don't do the dropping knowledge. You don't come into my podcast and start rearranging our segments. You're a comedian. You make money talking about wanting to be. a fucking Russian spy or what I was my old shit

I'm doing new stuff now So don't need to So don't have a bit called Dropping Knowledge Don't mock it You have a bit about How you want to save a girl

From fucking The guys from Taken Yeah well that's Don't have a bit called Dropping Don't say it like that Don't pause when you say It just say dropping knowledge

All right I ate raw elk this morning Or almost raw And I have a lot of energy Look at me A lot of videos That Lee brother Dude, you take terrible videos.

Don't say that. The one of your restaurant, I usually never hang on your scripts. Oh, my God, dude. He jumped on there, I'm like, I got to jump in, too, man. I erased it after you guys told me that. Dude, come on. Well, because it's beyond conny. It's my boy's restaurant.

I get it. I'm sure the restaurant's great. It's amazing. But take a better video. That's what I mean. It looks so lonely and horrible. I realize that the video looks terrible. It literally looked like.

And you know, it's taking out the line music. Yeah. And then it's not good. And then you'll. me and frank delicious spaghetti it's like god damn when you said that when i get a text and it just said hey this video makes me really want to go to this restaurant you go sure does i was like and i erased it immediately i got self-conscious immediately it was late though i know what you're trying to do right but i watched it and i was like well this is the worst video this is literally

the lowest budget i would never go to that restaurant now the way it's the way it was shot The way it was shot, the way it was shot, whatever video you put up there, it literally looked like the only person that thought it would be good is David Lynch. That's what that video looked like. Oh my God. And you see a dead corpse in the corner with flies on it and you never explain why. Yes. David Lynch movies are so fucking.

He's my favorite living director, no doubt. Is that right? That's interesting that you like him. What movie says he done? It's so weird. Okay, tell me. Tell him. Mahaland Drive,

Blue Velvet. Blue Velvet was incredible. Lost Highway. Okay. Haven't seen NeNe? Keep going on. Yeah, they're so good, though, man. Yeah.

Malta Drive, one of my favorite movies all the time. Mahalo and Drive, I know it was a huge movie. Yeah. But outside that, well, Blue Velvet, Blue Velvet was one of the greatest movies with,

with Nicholas Cage. What year? No, Nicholas Cage wasn't in it. 1980. Oh, this guy. You're thinking of, uh, con air. No, no, no.

No, I'm sorry. I was thinking about, what was the movie where he's like, this is a snike. jacket. Oh, uh, Raising Arizona? Nope. This is a Snigskin jacket, a symbol of my individuality. Nicholas Cage? My belief in personal freedom.

Nicholas Cage or Bill? A film. An incredible movie. I don't know. Brian's making up movies, but, um... Wild at heart. Wilder heart. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did he do that movie? Wait, did he do that? He might have done that. Anyway, yeah, you might have done that. No, he might have done that. But it's fascinating that you like David Lynch, because David Lynch is a, is a filmmaker's director, so he'll, he'll have

scenes in this movie where you can't even understand what's going on. He did do that, yes. Yes. There'll be just somebody dead in a room. That's an incredible movie. Wild and Heart is an incredible movie. And it's so sexy. And Laura Dern in that movie is sexy as all.

He did Twin Peaks. He did Twin Peaks. Oh, I haven't seen it. It's so good, dude. There's one scene in Twin Peaks where a guy's just eating this sandwich, and it's so, and he's eating this sandwich, and there's like, and that's all the scene is. And he's like, oh, and he's like, oh, my guy. And I think it's my favorite scene I've ever seen on my life.

Why? What is it on David Lynn? Because it's so specific and so weird. And in, like, if it teetered to one side or the other side, it will be horrible. But he finds this like balance and wavelength where that it's just so watchable and so good. And so gutsy too. And it's so, yeah, it's just. You love him too, me? Well, he's such a ballsy artist. Like, what's the last movie did? To make a movie. that's so weird. He's such a balsy motherfucker. The last one he did? I don't know. No. No, no, not Nicholas Cage. How dare you? David Lynch. David Lynch. Nicholas Cage is bawling.

I don't know. He might have done one since, one or two since. He's such an interesting, dude. But he does like these short films. Like, Rabbits is crazy weird. I've seen, like, a lot of these. Rabbits is crazy weird. Have I seen any of his movies?

How about, how? How about, wasn't Jennifer Connelly in Mulholland Drive? Oh, Dune. He did Dune, right. I forgot about that, an elephant man. What? Jennifer Connolly in, I think it's Mahal and Drive. No, she's not in that.

What is she in? While they're hard? No. Jennifer Connolly, when she was younger, when she, there's a movie where she's with John Michael and. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Some of those older actors, then you see them back when they were young, it's like, Jesus. Oh, Jennifer Connolly is a hot of, shit.

But Jennifer Connolly, in, what was the movie? She's the hottest thing on the planet. Career opportunities? Well, that was when she was really young. Good shout out, though, Chin. She was 11 in that. She's so ridiculous. Look at her.

Look at her. Just bring up some pictures of her. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah, but of course. I saw her in person. I almost lost my fucking. She's in Hulk, for God's sakes.

Yeah. Her face is ridiculous. Yeah, beautiful mind. She's ridiculous. She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen. To me, she's the end of all and be all. Oh, for real. Wow.

Like, of all people. reach out there and figure her and then rose mcgowan but she's number one rose mcgown yeah she's number one of all time for me of all time rose mcgown of jennifer conno of all time and an amazing actress an amazing actress oh yeah she is really she's also in that movie your boy bradley cooper he's just not that into you she's cheated on okay yeah she's older now but she's still no she's still cool yeah definitely not non i top three who's your hottest girl of all time in hollywood who's the one girl that you've seen in person because there's girls that you see and you're like

ah whatever but then when you see in person you're like oh god I don't know Kate Beckinsale was for me or Sophia Viraga recently Vergara, Vergara you guys are saying both saying it wrong How do you say it? Varabaga How do you say it? Verga. How do we say it be

Varaga? No it's actually Veragana. In this podcast we say Veraga. That's not what it is She's so hot she's 45 she looks like she's 30. She's even hotter in person. Oh, top three would be Sophia Vraga, and then Cindy Crawford. This is for you. This is for me. I saw

Cindy Crawford in Santa Monica. She looks like she's from matter of space. When I did Conan, she was on it. God, talk! She's, I can't, when she was young, I'd have pissed you off you so far. And then Kate Beckinsale. Kate Beckinsale. Yeah, she's always been my favorite Kate Beckinsale. Really? Favorite of all time? Yeah. Wow.

Ever since, like, before Pearl Harbor, you know. Oh yeah So who's the You see celebrities Who would be the one that I don't know Is there one you see in person That you didn't think was hot

And you're like god damn Because there's been somewhere I'm a little bit of a hater Then I see him like damn She's actually really pretty I can't remember I don't really see that like I don't

I just go to the comedy store And like I don't go out Yeah you're in a sitcom Women like you Your girl is 10 But do you You used to be the strangest most routine human being

on the planet. Nobody believes me, but I've told him you would wake up at noon, you would go to Ralph's, you would have a turkey. He would have a white, this is what he'd do every day, every day. Wake up at noon. He'd have a turkey, mustard. No, not mustard mayonnaise. Turkey mayonnaise, onion

sandwich on white American cheese. White American cheese. No. White bread. Oh, you're like rain man of comedy. No, listen to this. I wouldn't have white, well, sometimes I would have What the fuck? Every day he would do this? He would eat that. It's so good.

Then you would go home. I would get coffee right after that. You'd go to coffee and you'd be on Facebook and poke around a day. I used to do that, yeah. He'd poke around on Facebook. Yeah. And he would drink coffee for a couple hours. Then he'd come back, take a shower, right?

No, I would take a shower first. You'd take a shower first. Yeah. Then you come back to your house after the coffee and what would you do? Probably just chill for a little bit. You would chill for a bit. After his rough day of getting a sandwich and hanging out and chilling at the coffee. You're doing a lot.

You would chill and then you would actually then go out or you would write a joke maybe? Yeah, I don't know I would just wait to go to on stage You would wait You would do nothing You would wait Is this you're still at the comments He had no furniture

He had no furniture turn in the apartment Yeah No I didn't have a couch for a while But Listen to this I don't know I would just I don't give a fuck about anything else

I just want to get on stage I know That's what I think is amazing So you just kind of kill time Do normal shit during the day That's what I would do yeah Now what do you do now How is it changed

Because you're more you're busier Yeah I wake up I do my, why I work out. Do you really? Go for a walk or something? No, I don't go for a walk.

You a couple push-ups? I have a trainer, okay. Do you really? Jump on a trampoline or something. Because were you on that same text message? It was a group where he texted me. He goes, hey, man, what do you think I should do for workout or trying to put on sides? I went, does it matter, man?

Did I think it was diet, yeah. And I was like, it does it, I would do, if I had your body, I would do nothing. But you know a lot? But you work out really hard, but you do it for your sanity? No, so I don't blow the fuck up. Because that's not funny. But he knows a shitload about exercise, like way more than people realize, and a lot about diet. But he won't help me.

He never helps any of it. Keep it for yourself. No, it doesn't matter. But it matters to me because I want to be in shape. You are in shape. You're 50 years old. I'm not going to be your train. Hire him.

I don't have time to be your trainer. Yeah, be my trainer. 10 grand a session. How much? That's a lot of money, but he's worth it. I think it's worth it. I'm really at Chris's body. I think it's worth it.

Are you working him out? Yeah, look at me, man. I'm the trainer. How much have you spent on Brendan already? Shit, two... Oh, God, it's been 270,000 grand. That's a lot of money.

We did 27 sessions. At least. But look at him. He's killing the game. I am, man. Hey, did you really hire a trainer though? Yeah. Why?

Because I want to be... Because I don't want to break down, really. Yeah. I was having, like... Issues. I mean, I don't know. I was just like tired and like my back was hurting sometimes. Just for overall health.

Yeah. Because I think people don't take... I'm not trying to be like... You see me when we do... And obviously, you do so much more stand-up time than I do. But when we do, but when we do the live... live tours, like, when you're on your feet for four hours, and then you've got to go to

bed, and the next morning you got to wake up, you've got another four hours, go to bed next morning, four hours, to travel and all that. You're back, you're back, and your body. It takes its moment. But I do so many, like, he makes me do so many abs and shit, and so now my back doesn't hurt. It's crazy, like, legitimately. And does he come to your home, or do you go,

oh, really? Yeah, comes to my mansion, and then we just do it. You don't have to throw that in there. No, I didn't, I didn't, too. I didn't me too. You're like a Kardashian. He just comes to your home. You couldn't go to the gym? See, I'd never, I would never want to train to come to my home. I like to get out.

Fuck that, dude. Like, I only get out. Dude, I just want to wake up and have him there, which is what I do. He comes out like 11 and he's like, hey, man, did you eat? I'm like, no, I just open my eyes. I just open my eyes. Do you ever say, go ahead and get that oatmeal going, bitch? And you say no.

And then he just. No, I say like, okay. And he said, did you stretch? And I'd be like, yeah, but I didn't. You know what I mean? And then, and then. You're lazy about it. How did you?

picked this trainer. Maz Jabrani fucking, I don't I actually don't know how, but he was telling me about how he used to do it, and he was great, and I was like, oh, maybe I'll see what it's all about. And then I just, he came over, and I just like what he was doing. How many times a week?

Four? Oh, damn, good for you. I'd say at least three. Maybe five. Does he ignore your legs because you can't do any weight bearing? Dude, they're getting stronger. My pants fit differently now because my ass is higher. Wow. It's a little higher. He's working that booty. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, congratulations on, there's a long way to go. I'm surprised you got a trainer. Yeah. Has your skin, do you think is your skin ever seen the sun? Dude, it's a question. I don't want it to look like leather when I get your age. That's not cool.

Chris, how crazy, let's be real here. Brian's turning 50. That's crazy. I know. Yeah. 50 years old. But you don't, and your body doesn't hurt at all or whatever? Not at all.

That's awesome. You have no issues being. No. No issues, really. But I've always worked out. I've always eaten well, you know. I think I've always kind of, and I love my life, right? Yeah, that helps for sure.

And also, my life is kind of easy in a way. I'm not working in a mind. You never get stressed, really. I've never, really. He's the least stressed guy I've ever seen. Yeah, it's like you don't give a fuck about anything, which helps. It's almost like, you know, it's almost like you don't need anything. Right.

You know, it's like. You know, Rogan used to say that to me. Rogan said you're the only friend who doesn't need anything. It infuriates me sometimes. Because you want to get Brian a birthday gift? You could get, I could give him this all gold Rolex. You're like, oh, cool, man. Yeah, no, I appreciate it.

And they would never, it just stay in his drawer. You could pull up in a brand new Royals, Royce, phantom. You're like, cool. Yeah. I don't like that about you, bro. Me neither. Hey, guys. Fuck that.

Appreciate things, man. But also, I could be like, hey, man, I got bad news. iTunes shut down firing the kid. Like, ah, what can you do? Yeah. Huh? Hey, man, terrible news. I guess the live tours, you said something racist and we can't do anymore, like, ah, that sucks, man. Hey, you want to go to Juston, like, get a steak? Yep. No. No, our lives are over. I care. I think I care about people's feelings.

Like, I would care about your, you do. You do. That's the only reason why you're not a sociopath. Yeah, I care about, I care more about people and their state. So if you had, if there was, if my friends have problems, they can count on me. Oh, yeah, yeah. I agree with that. That's, that's very important to me. My value system has zero to do you're right with anything, including a house. But, B, I'm not, see, that sounds bad. I'm not saying you don't care about material things. No, I know.

It's literally like, you know how when they say. I have a lightness of being of everything. Yeah. Like if I was like, dude, I just caught your wife getting gang banged by the Los Angeles Lakers. You're like, shit, really weird. Yeah. Like, no.

Let the street. Who gives up fuck? You're like, damn. You literally think like me, that's just how it goes. You know, my father. I'll see at the comedy store and like, but? Yeah. That used to drive my dad crazy, too, because my dad grew up poor.

Kiermore. And he was a Marine, and life was hard. And he would get so mad at me because he would give me things that his father could never give him. And this is really interesting. Now you bring it up, he would give me stuff. He made me a great life. And I never had to worry about things. And he would do things for me.

And I guess, without realizing it, because that wasn't something that got me excited, right? No, because it was there. And I just, my makeup, my, my, I just, I'm the same way, but you grew, but you grew, I mean, he took it, he took it as an insult. Like, he, he, he for a while was like, my father had gave me nothing. I gave this kid everything and he, he doesn't, I didn't know how to really convey my appreciation. You've never not had, it's a little, it's different. Yeah.

You were like, yeah, well, cool, dad, yeah. Right, you're my only dad. So he, that's all you know, when somebody had to explain that to him, our relationship, got much better. But for a while, he was like, he probably resented me a little bit. Now, Chris, you grew up on third, okay, Chris, Chris, you grew up on third base just like calendar white privilege so how did you kind of work it out yeah but i'm sicilian you know what i'm saying i uh you know what i'm saying because my dad started making money when i was like 16 or 17 so but i i never had like uh um i never had like i never had like i didn't

ever wanted i know what i mean like i was had pretty much what i had a great life you know but you like cool stuff like you know into shoes and cars and clothes and shit we talk about that Yeah. I don't know. I got into that as an adult, you know. But I think comedians, and we talked about this with Brennan, like Brendan, Brennan has this need to do comedy, right? And I have no doubt personally that, you know, after a while he's going to be really good at it because I can see how he works at it. But more importantly, I know how his brain works. And I think that comics, like your childhood was not easy. I mean, you have great parents and everything, but there were still issues and like all of us. and for me my child was so fucking chaotic right just by the nature of being moved every year every two years it was so insane and i never had any stability and i think that's one of the main reasons i'm a comic because i would be put into a whole group of new people in a different country and i have to say goodbye to my dog and they're about and make friends now and i learned very quickly how to endear myself to them

you say you don't like stability well you relive the trauma right so you have to really be careful about one of the reasons I was always late for example but you have to you have to take stock of that and go this is how my brain works and you have to fix it as an adult which is what I try to do that's another thing but with you you had stability yet you're you're also you also have your own craziness which makes you a great comic he also has a work ethic because you know most of the time like it's an obsession is what it is what not being a loser no I just uh I don't know um I you know I don't know because it's weird because like it would be like before it was stand up nothing has been as much as stand up obviously because i always felt like that's what i had to do even as a young age

like i remember saying i want to be a comedian but like i just pour myself into one thing and before stand up it was it was jiu jitsu dude i would do it for six years and then before that it was working out you know and i just didn't give a fuck about anything else it's just one thing that i like doing and then i just you took you zoom in zeroing I'm not like that at all. I like doing everything. Yeah, you like the... Master none.

Master none. Don't say that. That's another thing I want to talk about is we were talking about this before we started recording. You used to be late all the time. Yeah. And now you're not. Yeah.

Because you just changed that. I just changed that. And that means that you're an even bigger asshole than I thought. Yeah. Because he realized what he's doing. No, because he was just being late and he could change it like that? Well, no. You were just like, fuck it.

But I told Ryan, it bothered him. I told him emotion. hurt my feelings, man. I said, if you're going to be late, I don't want to do this. Yeah, and once I thought, once I went, oh, I'm hurting my friend. I was like, I'm not going to do this. I looked at him. I go, I will never be late again.

Oh, interesting. He hasn't been late. You know what, one of the things that he did once, we were at dinner. I think I probably told this maybe on another podcast, but we were at dinner. It was me, you, Josh Lawson, Will Saso, and Craig Colchin, I think. Chad Colchin? Chad Colchin. Yeah, Chad Colton. And, uh, and someone else.

Yeah. And, uh, Tom Cruise. no it wasn't Tom Cruise Brad Pitt I hang up with those guys so I always confuse them Sounds like a nice thing Okay so anyway

Yeah it wasn't them I don't know Okay So and I had a set And and Chad and And Josh were like Yeah I don't know I don't know if they ever see me

Do stand up So they're like we want to come To the comedy store You're going to comedy store I say yeah I got to go I want to make sure I get on So meet me at the comedy store

So I left early And then all you guys Went to go to the comedy store I get on I was like just so you know Everyone's coming I got him seats I get on stage

I get off stage And I'm like, where the fuck is everybody? You guys weren't there. And then Josh or Chad, I was talking and they were like, hey, yeah, when are you coming? And I was like, when am I coming in what? I was like, you guys are you supposed to meet me at the comedy store? Where the fuck are you guys? And he says, oh, you, Brian said you were going up at the improv.

And I was like, what? And you said, Brian said you changed it and you were going to the improv. I fucked that up. I remember that. No, no, no, no. Was Brian do it stand up there? No. Yes.

Oh, dirty. And he fucking just wanted it. No, I actually think it was worse than that. He just wanted to be at the improv because he liked the hang there better. And everyone was like, he just lied to them and said, nah, Chris is doing it. I said up at the improv, let's go there.

And I was like, and I called him like, this motherfucker. And he called, he didn't even say hello. The first thing, because he knew, like, what he did was dick. Yeah. He picks up the phone and he says, you ruin the night.

You fucking asshole. They wanted to see me to stand up. That is so dirty. I love doing it. shitty things of friends. That's fucked up. I went to call Chris. I called him and I get a text.

He doesn't pick up the phone. And I get a text and all it says is nah. Yep. Is that what you're fucking deserve it? I was thinking about this other day. How special is the comedy store compared to other places? Now. Like just the vibe.

Well, I don't know any different. I don't know any different. Before it came along, dude, sometimes it would be, now it's the hottest place in Los Angeles. Rogan says it's like the 80s or the 90s. It's incredible. There's a renaissance going on. Dude, compared to everyone. I mean, no, you're not, man.

You know. But that's what they say, B? No, the Comedy Store press release, always like, there's, there's no Comedy Show press release. No, but there's the Lion, and then there's all the rest of the animal release. You say, like, pound for pound? That's what they're saying about, they're calling me the Lion, the Lion of Comedy. You don't hear that?

No. Hey, you don't hear that? Don't, no, you're not going to make me like, whoa, you do you do that. I've heard a little chat online. What? You're not fired. I've heard a little chat on this Comedy Store press release. Dude, I'll tell you what.

They are saying, they are saying, they are saying. They are saying. though they are like and I for they're like don't be a dick now no I'm not I'm not trying to be a dick I swear to God this is legit shit okay apparently when I go to the comedy store people are it's very fucking weird I didn't get it for a long time

but they're handing me like footballs and shit what is that why why I don't play sports or shit like that weeks would go by and they'd be like they want you to sign them I was like you want me to sign it they were like yeah you go champ and I was like okay I don't want the shit I don't get it I thought it was a joke that somebody said on a podcast or whatever dude they're calling me the quarter

back of the comedy I didn't know that I didn't know that like the captain no that's bullshit I know why am I getting all these footballs it's no the quarter of age women were like

no don't say that because they're calling me Simba no no wow wow then yeah it's not a competition just the whole vibe there though like I was thinking about this literally the other day

I was driving at night and in in fighting it's like you have this respect for each other even if you don't like each other because you know exactly what it took to get to this point to get into the octagon. Win or lose? Just like, I get it, man. Good Lord.

And after we did, Chris wasn't there. It was Rogan, you, me, Theo Vaughn. And I remember the young lady, the heavier set lady who was hilarious. I think she opened. Oh yeah, I don't know her name. I think she opened on the card. Yeah, she's hilarious. Sorry, I forgot your name. But she got

done. I remember just, she got, she's back saying, she's sitting there. She's just breathing. You can tell she was just, she was so relieved. And I didn't, I didn't same thing to her I wanted to but I don't know her that well it's just like that man that's cool you know what I'm saying like yeah because very few people can understand that yeah he got fast track he got fast track

talk about being thrown in the fire hey Brennan you want to start doing stand-up get in the lineup get in the lineup yeah that's super fortunate it's starting the belly room but really it all comes from Brian with the live fire and the kids but you should I told you you should do you should also do fucking open mics in awful rooms for sure well you but my philosophy is it doesn't It doesn't matter.

Open mic, it doesn't... It's an audience. Yeah. But I'm talking about, but there's a difference between sold-out shows and fucking seven people in a cafe. Because you can,

you can come up with shit. Some of the best have I ever came up with this was... I've done some of those, though, since we've done some of those. Like, I did the lab where there was like... That kind of stuff. That kind of stuff is great. At the laugh factory,

it was like an all-Armenian night. Didn't go great. All-Muslim night. I've done some shit. Yeah. And there are, you're right. There are a lot of great rooms and bars. But I'm not saying, I'm saying, but doing it in front of people that fucking don't want to laugh.

Yeah. You get way better that way. Dude, you know what I might do tonight? But listen to what I said and process it and then respond. Don't just say what you were going to say. You know what I've been doing? Don't do that. Hey, Chris, you know what?

Process what I'm saying. You know what's a blessing and a curse is, I'll see the blessing is doing it in front of, you know, theater, sold out theaters, which is great. It's great. But then the curses, I come back here, it's not a curse, it's all a blessing. But comedy store, laugh factory, improv go, hey, we want you to do this, this and this. And I can book four nights a week if I want to. Because you can draw. Yeah, yeah.

But also, if I was terrible, they would never have a lot. So it's like do an open mic or do I go to the belly room? No, I know. I know. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do know what you're saying. Yeah. Stand up for those things that never gets easy either, right?

When you have a new bit, like you're, when you're, when you're, when you're, you're, when you are done with your old stuff and you have to start anew, the same process. And sometimes it's even harder because you can't fall into your old habits. You've got to change your way of thinking. I mean, I know you do one-note jump around stuff, but for me, like, so if you're a baker

and you bake only donuts, which would be you. If you're transcend and you're a real chef like me, you're coming out with different... You've got a bunch of different dishes you're saying, B, a bunch of different dishes. I saw you the other night, and what are you doing... Yeah, when they're like, No, no

No, no I try to get off And they're like, don't you fucking go? Hey, B, let me ask you this You haven't been doing sets Like at the laugh factory, the store You know, Chris and I allowed you to But you, um,

You just now started doing them. Why? Well, because Was it because I was doing them nonstop? No. You just try and get back into being a comedian. You try and be a comedian again? No, no, you fucking asshole.

Because Chris is there. I mean, when he, I was doing the night He wasn't, I texted him at, Hey, bro. death in the family? He's like, no, I'm there now. I'm there right now. He's calling in. I'm doing stand-up here now. I mean, three, at least. This is a hologram. Well, because January, I'm not doing any stand-up at all, right? On the road, on the road. Oh, got it. So when that's the case, if you're going to, if you're going to take a month off, good

luck. I don't do that because I will feel it when I go back on the road. So, and especially now when I'm writing and trying new stuff, I, doing this, you're doing a bunch of new stuff. Yeah, so doing 20-minute sets, 15-minute sets. First of all, it's very different and not as easy sometimes because how do you get into it? What are you going to work on? Again, great crowds. I'm lucky enough to get up in front of the comedy store and improv when it's sold out.

And again, it just goes back to practicing your instrument, man. You can't take a lot of time off. You can, but you just pay a price for it. How much would you have, if you do a bunch of local gigs, I know I'm going to come up with new shit. I know I know I'm going to be coming up with stuff, finding stuff. I'm going to do shit and I'm going to go, wow,

I was a good joke. I'll tell you what's interesting, especially at 32. 32, 33, my 33? You're a Christaise. 33. Yeah. Especially at 33, you know, I, doing comedy, being at the store, being at the factory, being at the improv, it feels like I'm the new kid in school.

You know what I think about last year. Which you are in a way. 100% where I don't fit in. And I like, I don't feel like that. You know, I like, I sure, I still don't feel like I fit in. I mean, sometimes my feelings get hurt because I'm super sensitive. But when there's a group, I'll live, I'll be like, what are we talking about here?

Like, what? Yeah. Hey, fucking Shrek. And let's get out of here, though, huh? He still gets shit from certain comics, too. Oh, yeah, certain comics, of course. But there's some, oh, yeah, there's some, I'll say names.

There's some reason, but, but, but, uh, but all the guys that are successful in it, in their own way, understand what you're trying to do and they're, they're respectful. The guy, yeah, the way I look at it is this. You got a guy who's, like, talk about being vulnerable. He's trying something that very few people can do. and he's going from a sports background and then podcasting is one thing but now he's like I want to try this

it's inside me I've always wanted to do it that's what you should focus on that's what's that's what's you know impressive I'm saying it's weird being the new kid it is dude I remember when I first went to the comedy store I just you feel like how long ago like how many how many open mics

did you do before you got into the comedy store was it the same like back then so many yeah no Oh, it was a little different. Getting past the comedy store. I was the last, Justin Martindale was the, I was the last person that was passed by Mitzie on a showcase, the last person. Wow.

And then she walked through once and saw Justin Martindale and passed him, and he was the last guy she passed, like there. Yeah. And she was the owner and she passed away. No, she's still there. She has Parkinson's. Yeah, she's just old. run it anymore?

She's not day to day, no. She's older, yeah. And then does Polly Shore own some of it? Yeah, well, it's his family. Oh, got you. So, no, so, uh, what, uh, yeah, so I, I first got there, um, I mean, the first time I went there was with, uh, Sergio Love. Wow.

Yeah. Sergio Love. Man, I remember doing stuff with him at Dublin's and, and for some reason, Sergio would just be like, for some reason he took a like to me. He's like, come on, I want to take you the comedy story. He introduced me to Max Amini, who was doing the belly room with Jerome, with Jerome Cleary. Yep. And I would do the belly room every Friday night.

I would go there, and I would wait, and I would just say, listen, I'm going to be here. If you have room, put me up. If not, I'm just going to hang out. No worries, I'd say it to Max. And Maximini and I became really good friends. And he put me up pretty much every Friday night. And the comedy story was like... But you would go every Friday night, not known whether you can get up or not.

I would go from 9 to 2 a.m. But even a guy like me, so after I had some success and I was, you know, I'd been done a lot of TV. It's about from, like, mad TV. Yeah, I got, I got, it took me three tries to get passed at the comedy store, okay? Finally, Mitsy passes me. And I, I get passed, and I remember Tommy put me up at the belly room. And this is after I had done a lot of stuff.

I was in the belly room, never the OR, never the main room. I was in the belly room for at least a year and a half doing sets. And you can't have an ego. And how old were you? I was probably 40. I don't know, 38, 39. I mean, I was old. And I was also, you know, I'd also done stuff.

Right. Most clubs would be like, no problem. Right. Not the comedy store. Comedy store doesn't give a fuck. I know. It was like that. Now it's a little different.

But it's to their credit. To their credit. It's all good. But I said that first. I said to his credit. And then you were like, to their credit. Yeah, but to its credit. To its credit.

To its credit. To its credit. I'll tell you it has great stories and we should have them on here. To Polly Short, we were back. He was on the same card as this. Can you say card? Well, you can say that if you're a bumbling fool. But I mean, what you do is, what you do is you say line up.

Hey, you're bullying me, bro. He's not fighting, you know. Don't bully him, dude. He's a new comic, don't bully him. No, no, no, I'm not trying to bully. I'm just saying if you're, like, have, like, if you're, like, if you're, like, you have some sort of mental disufficiency. You could say, like, card, but like, would you, would you say you've always been the bully of the comedy store? I'm definitely not the bully of the comedy. There aren't some bullies. Yeah, there's some bullies. You got bullied for a while, in certain. No way. Uh, not really.

do you want bully you here's the thing man no because because you wouldn't allow that that's why neither would I Not even punching you in the face I'm fighting you in the face It's less about that and more about like I don't give a fuck Go ahead

I don't care Who cares what you said? I've never cared about I remember hearing a couple of established comics Called me a hacker They said it they said Ah he's just physical I remember that

It's because you're a fat It never bothered me I just never Because they're wrong And I know they're wrong So I don't care I also don't think of it as a competition. I don't care.

I can deal with if, I can deal with things like his comedy sucks or he's not funny. That's fine. It's your cup of tea. But if they go, he's a bad guy, then I'm like, I got to talk to me. What do you think that? What's going on there? How did that happen? Yeah.

You're definitely wrong on that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think of it as a competition. Well, I don't think of it as a competition either. Like, I like, I love, like, my favorite thing is when I'm at the comedy store and I go up and you go up and you go up and it's fucking, you know. Yeah. We're having fun, and then people come up, and they're like, oh, fuck, you were so funny.

And then I'm right there, and they say, you were so funny, and they don't even say anything to me. Like, that's cool. I don't give a shit. Well, also, we love, we celebrate each other because my friends are some of the funniest people in the world. Yeah, literally. So when you get up and crush a room and I get up and crush a room, it's so much fun to be in a group like that I feel privileged and I feel like I'm part of a tiny fraternity that I feel like I'm part of a little bit of a tiny fraternity. I'm like this with my scopes looking all the way on the other side. Hey, do me fair.

I'm like, did you say time's turning? No, turn your face. So anyway, but it's a privilege. It's a very, it's a huge privilege to be able to do. I'm defensive of my guys too. Like you two, Rogan, if someone says something bad, like would you, what was that though? What are you saying? The enforcer.

Not even the enforcer. I'm just like, how the fuck did you come up? Yeah, you're done. I'm just to say whatever. Yeah, especially with him, right? You've been around with... Oh, yeah. But you're the first...

You're kind of, in a way, I think, the first real athlete... Thank you. Look, dude. Hey, I was talking about Brendan. Oh. Well, no, because I've got this trainer and shit. You're not an athlete. Don't say that.

Don't say thank you. Apologize. I don't know what you were saying. Yeah, okay. Go ahead. He's the first... He's the first real athlete. Oh, oh.

to actually kind of be doing stand-up on this level and to be on his way. Well, I think the both of us just like, what? I think the both of us just like we zero in on something. You are not going to, you're not an athlete. Did you ever do any sports besides Jiu-Belt and stay there? What are the sports? What's the one with the racket? Oh, my God.

What's the one of the racket? The smaller racket with the. Oh, my God. One little rack is like the rack is that big. No, what is that called? Badman, yeah. Badminton. Badminton is actually.

Shut up, though, you know what I mean? You don't even know how to say Sophia Vigara, so shut the fuck up. Sophia Vigarra. Also, sometimes you call him Brennan. I do not. Hey, man. I do not. Speaking of Brennan, Neil Brennan, I remember Neil Brennan watching you, and you were doing stand-up, and Neil Brennan goes, nah, he's going to be famous.

He's got it all. He's just laughing. I go, he does, huh? And I go, I'm getting him to start reading more. I want him to get read, and he goes like this. And Brandon goes, why are you doing that to him? I go, because I want him to read more. And he goes, he's an innocent.

He doesn't need to read more. Let him just do that, whatever the fuck that is. Dude, how fucking smart is Neil Brennan? I don't know if any of that was true in that story. He think he made it all up. He made the whole thing up. Yeah, he wasn't. Did Brian really try to make you read?

No, I've never talked to Neil. I don't know. I read sometimes. I read all of books. Remember I said that, I go, dude, you got to read. You go, I know, dude. but it's so hard. Hey, when he was opening up for you, would you try telling him, like, you got to read this?

Oh, you know me, of course. I know. I'm like the old guys who I give everybody advice on that shit. You got to read. Here's what you got to read. He's like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I read John Ronson's books.

He goes, he goes, hey, this is Brian, ready? Hey, hey, everybody, I'm a silly good. Is that read science, read science. Do you want to do more TV, Chris? Yeah, I want to do my own show, though. Was it on Daywell, not your own show? No, I didn't create it or anything. You want to, like, be creator, producer, director, star in.

What do you mean? Good luck. I said good luck. Why'd you say it like that? No, I said good. I'll just do stand-up then, you know what I mean? No, you'll be all right. I'm not saying I won't be all right.

Okay. No one said that, yeah. Everything has an end. What? I don't know. You don't know, bro. If your hair goes away, then it's going to be a problem. No, I'll just work out real hard and be like a fucking ass kicker.

You should work out, take starris, shave your head and get bulky and see how that works out for you. I should, I'd be fucking, I'd probably take the physical comedy to the next level, dude. I'd probably kill it, dude. Best Action Hero. Dude, speed, remake speed. Your new logo is an eagle, right? Yeah. Because you're like an eagle.

Yeah. Not a sork. This is fucking, I forgot to tell you this. I was at, I was in this meeting. God, I forget who it was. You would know. I was in this big meeting. I was wearing your sweatshirt.

And it's like the OVO. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For you guys that don't know, it's like the OVO. Drake, but it's not the Owl, it's Chris, it's eagle logo. And one guy, is it a parrot? No, it's a fucking eagle. It's an eagle, bro.

It's around. Stop saying parrot. It's plump, look like a parrot. It's not plump. But it looks like the OVO, and the guy you can tell was like trying to be hip and cool. The powerful dude goes, oh, my son has that Drake sweatshirt. And I go, no, that would be cool.

And then the guy goes, I think it's a knockoff. I hear him go. No. I think he goes, it's a knockoff. And I'm like, and I heard it. I'm like, no, this is actually my boy's sweatshirt. He's obviously just trying to fucking copy it. It's a joke.

He's mocking Drake's thing. Yeah. And that's how it started. So does Drake have an eagle on his shirt or is it an owl? An owl. So you. Eagles are more gangster than Al. So he kind of won up Drake, huh?

I mean, I don't look at it like that, but. Chin, bring up the, bring up Chris's sweatshirt, eagle sweatshirt. I want to just, I want to look at this because I think you need work on the bird. I feel like it's a parrot. Well, you're fucking wrong. Spell my name right. But I'm just messed up. I know, I know, I know, I know.

Listen. Don't worry about the... How has it been going, Chris, the whole merch? Good. It's down there, the black one. Oh, sorry. Yeah, dude. Let me explain something to you.

No. Go back. That's not even me. Down middle. Hey, don't talk. Fuck this guy. Don't talk. The problem is that looks a lot like a macaw.

It literally... Here's the thing. It does look like a parrot. Here's the thing. no here's why you're saying that here's why you're saying that it's not why it's still which is the point and it's not

like this joke that's the fucking joke you pieces of shit don't be that aggressive it's a fucking eagle obviously and I won't stand for it so your artist drew a fucking parrot it's not a big deal it's an eagle dressed as a parrot is that fair no it's not fair

it's a fucking eagle it literally looks nothing like a parrot and that's fine That's a period of I've ever seen Beagles, yeah, the Eagles have much Not Beagles, though, you said beagles? That's what Happens, but Eagles have much bigger beaks Buddy. They're a lot bigger, yeah.

They're bigger, and they're wrong. You're actually You've seen a bald eagle, sir? You're actually wrong. Can you bring a bald eagle first, Chin? Also, what the fuck? Who are those people I'm taking pictures with? Those be your fans, sir. Spar it. But what? What kind of shirt you were in there? That's got flowers on it. I love that shirt. I'm not mad at that shirt. Look at your legs. Your dick, though. You can see your dick pulled a

God, you got a dick in that pig. Chris has got a dick. I've seen the dick. Yeah. Chris showed me his dick. Oh, no, we've seen the dick when he's doing the... Yeah. Chris, Chris pulled his dick out when it was kind of half hard.

We were doing 10-minute podcast, and he goes, there you go. And I go, what the fuck? I didn't even know him that well. You just said, here you go. You can show a guy your dick when it's soft, but if you show your guy... Did I don't remember. Now we got to be pretty good friends at this point. Well, that's how it goes.

That's where you get comfortable. Then he goes, suck. No. You know what's Chris said? Oh, hey, look. Just exactly. exactly like that fucking look at that one on the buck Well, Chris, look at how long

that's eagle. No, it's not. You're fucking look at how long your logo's heads two round. Nah, it's the same. Did you draw it yourself? No, what? Chris, look at how long the beak is. Look at how long the beak is. And you have a stub beak on that.

That's a parrot stub beak. Nah, you're wrong. Eagle has a long beak. You're wrong. It's literally exactly what it is. Hey, I love the shirt, man, but that's a period. No, it's not. Look at a little. Why don't you look up a parrot now?

Look up a parrot. Bring up a fucking parrot, chin. This is... Parrot! Not O'Harritt! Hey, you're being mean to chin. That's a fucking parrot. Stop talking to shit like that.

That is your shirt to a team. No, it's not, dude. No, it's not. The second one in. No, it's not. Your second line down, that green one. You parrot. It's not. A parrot's beak goes down.

That's an eagle. And everyone fucking knows it. No, I don't know if they do. It looks... First of all, it's a small hawk. If anything, I'll give you, it's a tiny hawk. Don't say small hawk. I want all those birds.

Is your company called... I want to have all those. birds. That's awesome. They are amazing. Look how beautiful they are. Yeah. Is your company called Smallhawk?

Shut the fuck up, Brian, you know. Look how beautiful they are. Brian's dead. Serious. They are. Look how beautiful creatures they are. Do you know that we're just saying shut up at the right time is the best. It's the best.

Ever. There's nothing better. Like, my buddy's dead. I'd be talking and getting excited and he go, what? Shut out. Ah, shut out. It stops you right away. shuts down everything.

Shut up. It might be the rudest thing you can ever say to somebody. Ah, shut up. Hey, January and February 's pilot season, yeah? Hold on.

You don't text while you're doing our podcast. Yeah, I do, dude. I was texting, get me out of here. Call me with an emergency. Hey, hey. Tell me right now.

I sent it to so many people. Also, look at your shitty posture. Sit up. This place, man. Your trainer wouldn't appreciate it. Sit up. I'll sit like this till I die. Hey, Chris, did you train to have you on a diet, too?

Yeah, dude. But I ate so many fucking ice creams last night. Why? Wanted to. Why? Wanted the. What kind of ice cream? You can't just do whatever you want.

Yeah, you can, actually. Fucking cookies and ice cream sandwiches, bro. Wanted them. Wanted them. ate them. Went to sleep after that. Bam, and you look. You still woke up skinny.

I look how I look, dude. I'm the fucking man, dude. You're, hey, man. I don't give me shit. I'll eat whatever the fuck I want. No, no, no. Have respect for our audience and for this room? Dude, I got fucking ice cream sandwiches.

I fucking was naked on my couch. Okay, look. I don't care, dude. Did you watch it? I spilled stuff on my carpet. God damn it. Did you watch any sports? Nope.

Why not? Didn't want to. Okay. You know what I watched? How disrespectful is this? I watched 35 minutes of an episode of Luke Cage and then I turned it off. That's so disrespectful. It wasn't even from the beginning to 35.

I started it in the middle and got almost to the end. I watch any part of any show I want and turn it off whenever I want. You have no respect. No respect. I ate some of the ice cream sandwiches and I had other ones I could have put in the freezer. I left them out. I don't give a shit. The place made them.

The post-based guy picked them up, brought them to me. I ate some of them. They're still on my fucking coffee table. And I don't give a fuck. And there's some LeCroix on the carpet. You have to be respectful. No, I don't. You do?

I don't. Why not? Me. man you you need to get this have you ever gotten beat up nope I always win I've gone in

47 48 fights you've never been in a fight in your life nobody getting somebody to like you to fight somebody what would you have to do for you to fight them oh my God you wouldn't slap your girl in front of you they would have to

they would have to fucking really yeah like fight somebody I love like my brother or yeah my mom I'd have to be I have to fight now you'd have to be that you just have to yeah okay and even then you'd have words first you wouldn't just attack you'd be like what the fuck

dude I don't know what you're doing and then you'd put me I'd fight dude you know I find strange even though you have all this OCD and shit you bought the same car twice mm-hmm that's right hold on why did you buy the exact same car but instead of Matt Gray he bought

Don't shrug your shoulders like you don't care. It's going to make me angry. Here's what happened. They called me up and they were like, we want to get your car back in. And I was like, all right, cool. They were like, we have another car if you want it. And I was like, I like, I went in and they just gave me a better deal and a newer car. So I was like, okay. It's the newer version of your. Yeah, it's a great ride, though. But when I drive around in my car, it's the weirdest thing. Like, people will be like, what happens? And I'm like, what? And they're like, what happens? And I was like, I don't know. Maybe I'm mishearing it or whatever. And I'm at a stoplight. And some guy goes,

roll down the window. This is in Hollywood. like that, yeah. He said, I rolled down the window, and I was like, what's up? And he's like, what happens? And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And he was like, well, you're from the future. And I was like, hey, man, this is a car. No.

And I'll tell you something. I got to tell you something whose car pisses on your car, whose car, and I'll tell you, whose car makes your car look like a pony, okay? You pony. No. And I know somebody has a car that's a thoroughbred that humps your car, okay, in the wild. No, no, no. Is Brendan Shob's Super Sport

G.T. Oh, yeah. Different level. Wait, what do you have? It's a Bentley. He's got a Bentley. Oh, yeah, you got that Bentley. His car laughs.

Did you have that Porsche? He laughs at your car. I don't have the Porsche. No, no, he's got the Ben-Shoops. His car laughs at your car. You know that, right? It laughs at it. Different animal.

It's like mine's the eagle and yours is the parent. No, mine's both the eagle. Mine's just the eagle, okay? Your voice gets deep. No, it does, though. That is a sweet fucking ride. Bro, I don't, I got the car I want. I could get whatever car I want, man.

Okay, don't be that way. Don't be obnoxious. All created in right now and get a different car that's way more money. Don't mean. You're alienating our audience right now, all right? Your audience is full of rich people. No, it's not. To all just rich males?

We're regular people. Elitas? Like us. Don't say any car shits on my car, dude. I'll get in my 49th fight. What would you do if you had to fight me? Because I beat the shit. No, you wouldn't.

I'd beat you. up so quickly. There's no way. But what would you do? No way. You had to fight me. Honestly, I'd fucking calm down. I'd calm down. I'd wait for you to do all your shit. What would you say to me?

No, I wouldn't, there would be no words. No words. No warning? No, and you would fucking, as soon as we touched each other. Yeah. As soon as we touched each other. Yeah. And I'm talking about as soon as we touched each other.

You said that three times. It's it. That's it. It's it. What are you going to do? Game over. I just hold you until you're done. And you're so exhausted.

You're so exhausted. You're so exhausted. You're going to hold me? I just hold you. But I'll punch you. Like a vocistrictor. You got that sharp nose. I flatten that nose.

One shot to that and possibly, first of all, my hand gets cut on that fucking beak. You call him nose. Right? Yeah. Right. And then your hands go to your face and you go, no, please. No, no. I want to fight you.

Why? You right now? Yeah, I won't fight you. In the hallway after this. In the hallway? Yeah. I want to put on World Star. Of us beating each other up?

Should you do some current events? Absolutely not. I know so much about the current event. Let's get him out of here. Chris, before we get into current events, what's going on in the world? Before current events, what do you, where do you see yourself in 10 years? Married with kids? Dutter in jail.

Hey, man. I feel like you're not being truth for you. Deter in jail. If you guys, if you keep talking like that, deader in jail. Okay, dude, I'll switch. I never thought I'd see 36. No? I'm seeing it now, though.

And I thought it'd be dead or in jail, and I'm here. Okay, well, you didn't live a crazy life, so don't say deader in jail. You didn't do any crimes. Have you ever done any crime? Uh-huh, one. What? Oh, I did one crime. What was at?

Because I did a crime. Walgreens or Savon or one of those fucking stores. And I saw the worst hat in the world. Yeah. It was a baseball hat that was white with green tiger, neon green tiger stripes, zebra stripes all over it. And I thought, wow, that's the worst hat I've seen in my life. Now, at the time it was, I've seen way worse hat since. But at the time, I was 20-something.

I saw this hat as the worst hat I ever saw. I said, that hat is awful. It shouldn't be for sale. So I thought, you know what? Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the hat. I'm going to put it on my head, and I'm going to pay for whatever it is I have. And if the guy doesn't say anything to me, while I'm wearing the hat, buying whatever I needed at Walgreens, I'm going to walk out.

I'm going to walk out, and that's my hat. Good. And then I'm going to throw it away. Yep. And that's what happened. And he didn't say shit. Have you done a crime? And I did that.

And I did that. And I don't even think that was a crime because he just watched me do it. I was like he didn't give a shit. I don't know. Guys, sometimes the only time I did a crime was because my friend was a bit of a criminal, kind of a bad guy. And we were in a pet store. And I was 25? You poisoned a bunch of paragon.

No, we were in a pet store. And my friend goes, my friend picks up a snake. And he goes, I want a snake. it was a boa constrictor a beautiful one and he goes put this in your shirt now and I go what and he puts it in my shirt and I go oh and I hold it and I go let's get out of here

and I stole a fucking boa constrictor he wanted me to do it he does it he'd do all kinds he did crazy shit he stole a bun I remember he can't hold on hold on you can just breeze past it so you put the bow constrictor in your shirt

and then just strolling out I was like I guess I walk out what was the boat constrictor doing and it was in like Virginia and I didn't want to steal it and I go And my friend goes, you just committed a felony, bro. And I went. That's not true.

How old are you? I was like 25, way too old to do something like that. Not a felony, though. No, but I was like. Oh, Louisville's victim to peer pressure at 25. I don't know why I did it. He did it. Why was you in Virginia?

He did it so quickly. And also, why were you in Petsmart at the mall at 25? No, we were in a, we were in a, you guys molest kids afterwards? In fact, we were in West Virginia. And I believe it was a town called Morgan Town. How about that? Oh, wow. Hey, oh, if you're at town.

don't have the last part of your town be town and that drives me nuts Morgan town call it Morgan yes call it Morgan so get this so I go I can't steal something I can't do that it's ridiculous

so I take it and I went back and the girl who was on you know working there at the time a young girl like a college girl I went back and I gave I said how much was that boa constrictor and she goes what ball constrictor

how much are the boa constrictors She goes, what I remember was, and I gave her money, and I fucking walked out. So at the end of the day, I didn't commit a cry. Then did your friend keep the boat constrictor? Where's the bo-con-strictor? He kept it. He gave it to a kid. Oh, man, killed the kid.

And it ate the kid. I've never really stolen anything. It's the only time I've done something stupid like that. And I was like, he put in my shirt and I go, I guess I've got to walk out now. You're 25. You're 12 for that. You're 12 for that. I stole a hat, and you stole a life.

You stole a life That's horrible You go to hell Honestly if you die That's the thing that's going to put in hell And I'm gonna be right there And I'll be like He's like oh you only stole a hat

Get up into heaven And be like you stole a what A snake? A real snake A life? Go downstairs No real snake I went back and paid for it Doesn't matter

You don't put a price on life like that It was the intention Yeah It was the intention I committed that So that's a misdemeanor Yeah it's definitely not a felony Felony has to be over

I think 10 or 15 grand or some shit It was a rare snake. It was 15 grand. Yeah, but I did it. Then we killed everybody in the store. Oh, Jesus. That, no, that part is the big trying.

They caught me and I had to, we had to off everybody. He said, I'm not going to jail. I had to off everybody because I couldn't have any witnesses. Yeah. Mafia style. You know what? When I was like six or seven, you know, when those candy machines. So you weren't 25?

No, definitely not. It can't be seen at 25. That's ridiculous. When I was 37, I still, no. But I took this guy. He was making copies. You know, I was a cute little kid. I was with my brother.

brother and we wanted money for candy you put the five cents in you know and the little and then take the candy so i went up there and was talking to him and then put my pinky on a dime and then just scrolled it over oh did that's and and then i put it into the the candy machine me my brother eating candy well homeboy's making copies and he must have knew exactly what he oh wow so i'm talking my brother you know fucking i'm like seven my brother's eight or nine yeah and he great he knew exactly what happened he grabbed me by the hand lift me up whoa the shit out of You deserve it. Have you ever? You deserve it. And I think you actually probably still deserve more. I don't think you did enough. I scraped the car and like bad. How old are you just on?

No, this is where. And I put a note on the, you know, I said, you know, I scraped your car. I never heard back from the person. I put it right there. I said, scraped your car. I'll pay for it. And never heard back. And somebody said, that's really honest of you.

The guy was walking and I go, I go, it's not honest. It's called common decency. But as a kid, my father, broke a taillight and he said let me get a piece of paper and I said I was young and I said don't yeah I said my father gave me my father

sat me down and he goes let me explain something to you let me explain what a man does when you do when you do damage you fucking pay for that damage never forgot it but but you're never forgot yeah but in a way your dad is wrong though you know what I mean the other person was in wrong place wrong time and you

kind of just can get you get to leave no man no dude no you gotta do the right thing chris i feel like you would uh i feel like you would write a note you'd draw a picture of your hand giving the finger i would just draw a fucking beautiful um drawing of a panda and just put it there and and put my bad and then a sad face and be like call me and then a bunch of numbers but with most of the numbers just question mark super fucked up yeah they'd be like did a batman villain fucking hit my car I was a girl in New York City

And she was a girl in New York City I was with a girl in New York City I was with a girl And she bashed into a car full of rough Looking Italian dudes And they can't wait to buy And she gets out I get out and he goes like this

He goes I gotta see some money for this I gotta see some money for this That I got it And she goes Excuse me but you backed in me I backed into you And she goes

And she starts mouthing off to these guys Four fucking rough dudes And it's yoker boy me and her and she you know how girls can get you in a fight they could have turned around and just beating the living shit out of me and I'm trying to play like you know and she's like don't talk to them they're fucking losers you're an asshole I'm a loser honey I'm a loser

she goes yeah you're a fucking loser it was so bad and I finally figured out of way and you murdered those guys didn't you and I had to off all of them you gave them your wall more time I had to off all of them you know what I you know what I fucking did because I didn't know her and she was such an asshole I got in a cabin left yeah really yeah I don't know her know her yeah she was wrong And she was, I was like, oh, you're a bad person.

You're fucking, you're trying to make this on them. And these are really, and they both came from the same world. So they were, they knew how to speak to each other. I was like, can't please. See ya. See ya. I go, I'm going to go to the ATM. I took off.

I'm going to go to the ATM. That's like the woman. I was on a date when the woman was being so rude to the waiter. I was on a first date. She was being such a cunt. Deal breaker. Dude, I mean, she was so rude. And I went and I, and I've never done this.

I looked at her. I go, you're a bad person. And my life is. too short and you're treating the waiter like shit I got up to go to the bathroom and I never came Yeah I've done stuff like that Yeah I have I talked about I talked about a girl When we first started doing the podcast

How she was mean to wait at this tie place She like made fun of the lady Because she didn't speak very good English And so I was like oh this is fuck game over Like if you're mean to them She called me like two or three Two or three years later Because she was on

She was at her job And someone was like oh have you heard of fighting the kid, blah, blah, and they started talking. She's like, yeah, he broke up with a girl because this, and it was her. Oh, really? Oh, my God. No, it was, I was going through a rough time. I want to apologize.

Oh, wow. I don't even remember what the fuck you're talking about. That's wild. Weird, right? Yeah. Yeah. How about you? You would know this person, but I would.

I don't, how about me what? Have you ever left? Have you ever left? Any shitty dates, although you're tied down now? Although you're sucking on the teat now? yeah i have uh i uh no one time i was out with a girl that i mean god this was years ago and she was telling me she has a she had a kid and she was telling me that she um she like had a baby when she had the baby she wanted to kill it for a year okay okay deal i was like what and and she was like yeah

i had this really bad i wanted to kill the baby and it was really rough jesus christ and now it's okay i went out with her again chris by the way if she's super hot you're still gonna have sex with her you're still gonna have sex with her you're like damn that's crazy and you're still gonna bang the sex the baby killer

hey is there any you would maybe you would know Brian wouldn't know I'm sure there is I had someone reach out to me like hey I can't believe you're on Tinder blah blah I'm like I'm not on Tinder then you know you get DMs and this girl goes hey just want you to know

there's some guy pretending to be you he's lining up dates on Tinder and I was like I don't know what to tell you I'm not on Tinder I'll see, I'm definitely not on Tinder. That's me. If he's catfishing you, then he's catfish. Yeah, that's catfish.

I guarantee there's a fake count and DeLeo account on me. I get, I don't know if, yeah. Yeah, no, they're having me about it. Now, are you lying? Look at you. I'm great, aren't I? No, man, you're just, you're just, you're this odd looking. How about, imagine what it's like.

Listen, you, lanky bird. Look at you. You have. I haven't had to fart. this whole time. But if I did, I would have done it. Wow. Chris, you have to have more respect for our space and for this very amazing podcast.

And I like the way you're sitting, bro. Yeah. I got, I sit, dude, when I saw Bon Jovi when I was a kid, I was like, that's how I want to sit. And I want to take it to the next level. Have you ever had a sip of alcohol? No. Never in your life.

Well, a sip, yeah, like communion or whatever. What a bitch. So you've, and you, have you ever smoked pot? Nope. Never done, see, I thought for, when I first met you, I was like, damn, Chris obviously does drunk. Yeah, obviously. He looks like an alcohol. No, I just said, you know, because you're a little bit sporadic. Yeah, people think I'm on Coke all the time.

I just am not interested in what they're saying. That's why it seems like that. That makes sense. You're like, are you on Coke? I'm like, no, you're just boring as shit. See ya. No, you're just boring. And I'm thinking about spaceships or something. Fucking be more interesting. I'm not on Coke. Be more interesting. How about that? Why are you looking around? Because you're boring and you're, you know what I mean? Or like, and you're sweaty.

And you're sweaty. Like, I don't want to look at you if you're boring. boring and sweaty. You're being an elitist. I'm not. I'm not. Be better. Don't you tweet at airlines all the time?

Fuck. Why do you even do that? United. Hey, you think United is not a airline. Hey, Chris, look at me. You think United gives a. They do. They'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what. They'll give you some miles. I say what. They do care. Number one. And number two, I, I'm not doing it for any reason. Then to warn people, if they got a choice, don't choose United. Why is that?

Because they delay. Every fly. Dude, they don't run their company. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. I find what you do and do it well. I go on stage and whether or not you like my standup, I do well. I do well. I go up. I do my job and I fucking make people laugh. If you're an airplane, airline, get people to their fucking destination on time. Yeah. Get, if you don't have enough planes, get more fucking planes. Be better. Be better. I don't know what you have to do. You're the fucking airline. Be better. It's true. And so United, you, because you, but I go on stage, a crush. Well, okay, get me to Austin on time. To crush ass. Yeah. You don't always crush. Don't be that way.

You don't have to, like, self-anggrandize. Don't congratulate yourself. Just talk about the airlines. Okay, I will. I will. All right. Just stick to the airline. So, you're an airline.

Yeah. So go get me on time to where I need to go so I can get on stage to sold out shows. And murder. I just said don't do that. I know, that's what I'm saying. I said, don't. By the way, I farted when I said that. Okay.

Don't fucking fart and congratulate yourself. Just talk about the airline and stick to that. If I'm waiting in an airline, in an airport, for my United Airlines flight to get to fucking Minneapolis. Okay. Get me there. Okay. Because there's thousands of people waiting. No, stop it.

For me to get on stage. and do my powerful act. They pay top dollar to which I get 95% of it. Don't fucking drag out words, man. This is more about United, not you. This is about United. No, this isn't about me. You're making it about you.

It's not about me. It's about United and the people that are waiting with baited breath. No, you got to see me. step on that stage for a mere moment, a sliver of their lifetime. Stop. They'll remember. No, stop adding words and sounds. A lot of pressure on United.

It's a lot of pressure on me. Okay, man. Just me there. The point is that the United needs to get better. We don't need to hear. Is it just United? It's only United. Well, I've seen you hate on other airlines, too.

No, not other airlines. Maybe I've been like, oh, You know what? You're like, Hey, Virgin, what the fuck? No, no, no, no, virgin. I got nine on them instead of ten. No, no, no, no. I don't do that, dude.

I don't do that. One time there was a, um, I went to throw something away. Fuck these kind of people. I don't remember what airline it was, but I went to throw something away in the, um, at the, what do you call it? Where you're waiting to. In the, in the, what do you call that? Holding area. Whatever it was.

And the gate. The gate. The gate. The gate. I always forget really, really, really interesting words. So I went to go throw some away behind the thing And the guy was like, hey, don't throw your trash away This is my area

He said my area? That would make me crazy And I said, oh, it's just a trash can And there's not one around here And he was like, yeah, but that area is like where I throw stuff away So I said, okay So I tweeted whatever airline it was Is hey, there was a guy at the gate

At your gate told me not to throw my trash away in the trash can and there was no trash can around so where should I throw it next time and then they were like oh sorry we didn't mean for yada yada and I said okay cool well next time I'll just throw it on the floor

or just use that trash can that he told me not to so you're a snitch did the guy come out of it? I didn't tell him who it was you're lucky the guy can come out and slap you around I'm ready no

I'm ready 98% of the guys can beat you without closing their hand slap you slap you down no I can beat I can beat up 85% of all men and every woman.

Okay. Would never happen, but I would do it. If you had to. I don't know if you can do that. I could beat any, I think 95% of men out there. Your whole career and your whole persona is wrapped up in your hair. What happens if it falls out? Dude, I play interesting roles.

I start playing interesting roles. Are you losing your hair? I get real fat or I get, well, I mean, you lose hair. You're not losing your hair. You're not going bald, though. I mean, I have less hair than I'd have, yeah. But you don't have a receding hairline, dude? No, I mean, it's back there.

I got a big, you know what it is? I have a big forehead, period, which sucks. So if I lose any hair, I start looking more like I fucking, you know. Yeah, it's over. What? What? Let's do some current events. Well, you got a small head.

You got a small head. I do have a small head. Brian has a forehead for sure. You got a small little almond head. Don't. Brian, it's, I'll eat it. I'll put some cocoa on it. Don't be condescending on my pocket.

Not, but I'll put some cocoa. You're a guest on this pocket. Some cocoa. Why the fuck? It's so nash. do you roll your sleeves up like james dean it's how jane bro it's how the shirts made no that's actually not that big of a fucking deal you're rolling up your sleeve i i don't roll it up it's stitched that way well don't wear those stitched shirts like that to james dean that this fucking guy yeah this guy

don't take any fashion invites from him fuck this guy you start letting get him don't get him i've had this shirt before i started lifting weights yeah well don't you don't have to show off your your your weird arms skinny fat my skinny fat I'm not mad at the hell of jiggles look you're soft you have you have decrepit flesh annoyed them you do you have decrepit flesh

you have degenerate you have the flesh of a degenerate can I be honest with you you have the skin the look in the flesh of a pervert and I mean no listen of a street of a street pervert not even a high class pervert you look like a street pervert whatever dude you do you look like a fucking street

events. Sorry, everybody. Before we get into current events, let's talk a little bit about Chris's, uh, scruffy face. Talking about that face. Yeah. Now, Chris, you work in the movies, right? Yeah. You work in TV as well.

But when you got a, when you got to shave down. Yeah. Like a clean shave. What do you use? What do you use? You know, I haven't really found the, the product for me. I haven't used many, but I find usually when I do the shave isn't close enough. I knew he's going to say that.

And that's annoying. It's the worst, right? Because if I want to shave, I'll shave. Yes, right? But if I don't want to shave, I won't shave. But if I shave, I want it to be clean. You want it to be super clean. But you want to spend a fortune on razors?

You know, I don't. I don't want to spend a fortune. But every time I go out to buy it's like, I got to buy them and I got to buy more and I got to dispose. You don't want to have to go to the store. You don't want to use a middleman. Brian, look. Fucking God, dang it. Listen, dollar shave club.

There's no middle ground. I mean, I think I've heard of that. You can either save money and get a painful shave from a disposable, like the ones that give you free at the gym, okay, which feel like shaving with a piece of sandpaper, all right? Or pay a fortune for the latest shave breakthrough, okay? No, but, but, okay, so you have to be rich to do this, right? You would think, yeah. You would think, or right now, right now they're giving away one month free of any of their razors for one dollar with free shipping. Yeah, that's exactly right.

That's amazing. No hidden fees. You can cancel whatever you want. Get your $1.00trial at dollar shaveclub.com slash fighter. That's dollar shave club. Dot com slash fighter. Happy Martin Luther King Day. Oh, yeah.

It's Martin Luther King Day. It is. Chris, acknowledge Martin Luther King Day, bro. I love what he did. The meeting of the King holiday. There you go. All right. That's all we needed.

We're good. It's great. I think Martin Luther King was a great man, for real. but I will tell you one thing. Tell everybody to fucking follow me on Instagram. Chris, you cannot piggyback. Oh, Martin Luther King? You cannot make it about Instagram.

No, that's great. I love it. I love it. God damn it. We need people like him, and there's not enough people like him. Well, but there aren't. Yeah, man, don't say obvious shit, though, about Martin Luther King, okay?

There aren't enough people like him. Yeah. You're saying that's not true? No, I am saying it's true. Okay, then don't be fucking, don't be. Okay, don't say general shit about Martin Luther King. It's very, it's very, it's very, As general, we know that.

You don't agree. I do agree. Well, watch what you're saying. Martin Luther King, inspired by Thoreau, violent, non-violence, and passive resistance. You know what's weird about Brian is he can get boring the quickest. It's like it doesn't take two sentences. It's two sentences. Like, it could be less than a sentence.

You're like, oh, I'm out. No, listen. I'm sending out, Jim. He said, there's a historian who said, when are the civil rights? Already boring. Already boring. I'm out of myself. I want every fan of this that has listened to this far.

Tell people to follow me on Instagram. I'm tired of this bullshit. I want everybody listening to say, hey, follow Chris on Instagram. I want you to make an Instagram post about me and put it on their Instagram and say, follow this guy. I don't give a fuck, dude. What do I get? Get from this. Well, hey, Chin, quickly, next current event, this son of a bitch.

All right. Jimmy, Superfly Snooka, he passed away. Oh, I heard about that. Why do all these guys die? By the way, but he was 90 in the 80s. How old was he? So how old was he? Why do they all die so early?

I didn't prepare that. He looks good there. 703. Wow. A lot of he died young. He just got, he just got dismissed the charges. What's the average age of someone dying and then take a big dude who probably took some shit from snookas?

Art and stuff? And he was a Superfly, Snooka? Superfly. That's pretty old. I don't think you can chalk it up to steroids at all. I just think it's a rough. 78. And he died at what?

73, that's young. Not really. Average lifespan, 78. How big is he? How big is he? He was a big guy. And he took a lot of steroids probably. You can't chalk up steroids.

No. But his heart. There's no, now there's no evidence on that. But he lived in 73. He's a bigger dude. And he was an athlete on the road. all the time. A lot of those guys,

a lot of those professional wrestlers seem to die abnormally young. See what the average age is of the professional wrestler. Why do we have the same hair? Whoa,

he was a strong dude. Was he also Samoan the way I said Keanu's was? Keanu's is 25% Simone. He is right? Count of Rives is also like 52.

Yeah. And he looks amazing. He looks amazing. He does look good. Oh, that's sweet. Look at that. Oh, man. You guys know about his charges, right?

No, what do you mean charges? Like, uh, his His wife, his girlfriend, she was, she was, like, she died, but then they, they never solved the case. She had blunt force trauma to her head. Oh, Jesus. And then, uh, 32 or something years later, they started, they charged Snooka. Really?

For killing her? Yeah. Do you go to prison? That's the thing. So 12 days ago, 12 days ago, they, they dismissed the charges because he wasn't stand to fit trial. It was some weird. Oh, wow.

Shit. And then he just passed away 12 days later. God. So that's what makes us. That is so interesting. That's heavy. What was his, uh, was he Simone? Snooka? He's got to be

smart, right? Yeah, I'm sure. A big strong guy. A professional wrestler, though, huh? But what was his... See what the average age is the professional wrestler, I feel like they all die. Yeah. 73's not that young, man. When the average age is 78, you're talking about a big athlete? Yeah.

Fijian. Is that? What was he? Fijian? Yeah, Fijian. Fijian is Polynesians. I believe, right? Hey, but, Chin, look up average lifespan for athletes? No. For wrestlers, professional wrestlers. 12.

12. So interesting. WF's death rate. They're compared to other sports, the four sports. Oh, good. Chart. I can never read graphs. It's always tough, but...

55 to 60, NHL is the lowest. And I'm guessing the WF is the highest, right? The red graph. Look at that. So we can see it. That's crazy. No, up. So we can see what the...

No, no, no, down. You know, get a new guy. No, no, no. The fucking, let me see the graph. Stop it. You can't... Early dashed WWF. You've been yelling at chin all the podcast.

Hold on. So they're saying NHL, NFL, NBA, what's the, oh, the great ones, normal people. Damn, NBA players. They're fucking huge. Of course they die early. Yeah.

Yeah. But to your point be, WWF is the highest at all of the major. crazy. A lot of them dying at 45, 50. Well, that says 5560. That's what that is. Yeah. But yeah, then the highest rate is

So 20% die at between 50 and 55. Now, let's be real. They probably take the most shit out of any entertainer. And I think when you take that many steroids, it can be a strand on your heart. Your lipid levels go berserk and all that. They weren't doing it the right way.

Lippid levels is going. Hold on. Damn, I can't believe he killed his girlfriend, though. Yeah, oh, I mean, that's what they're charging him for. It has to be, right? For sure. And this is what, you know, a guy who's a bad guy watch. Well, did you cheat on him? You know those guys who have like a...

He called the paramedics, and when the police arrived, he left the scene. But it never got solved. Where do you kill that? Some third world country? Because that doesn't work here. Oh, that's a good question. That would not work here. Came by, I do. I was even there, man.

I call my left. Anyway, what else you got, Chin? Oh, since we're... Let's watch some of my videos. Since everyone's... No. Should we watch your special? I mean...

Should we strike up your special? Just an hour long with sitting here. I do. An hour long. This one's for Chris, because today's considered the bluest day of the year. Did you know that blue Monday? What is blue?

This is the most depressed day of the entire year. Chris, you look depressed. You look a little down. It's some mathematical equation with the new year coming. Christmas is over. The bills come in. all the New Year's resolutions start failing right around now too?

The stuff doesn't work for the three of us, does it? No, I don't really, I don't go by a certain clock. I just go by... No, events make my day blue, or like if there's something personal, but as far as the weather, not... I mean, if it's rainy in L.A., I'm kind of like, God damn it. Look at this way it's written. Blue Monday could be most depressing ever

because of... Who wrote is a Russian? Blue Monday could be most depressing ever. They're missing articles in that. Blue Monday. Yeah. Okay, well. Anyways, there's that.

This one's pretty crazy. A girl was held at gunpoint because she wouldn't give up her chicken McNugget. The motherfuckers are good, though. Damn. They are delicious. She gave up your nuggets, you know? She slapped the gun away,

and then they arrested the guy afterwards. God damn. They should give her free McNuggets for the rest of her life. And this is in Harlem. I would do, ooh, I would do some shit for Chick-fil-A strips, but McNuggets, they're delicious, but they're just so unhealthy. I haven't used a fucking chicken McNugget in years.

Do you eat fast food or no? Never. Never? Really? Ever. This is surprising about you. Ever. I'll have in and out once in a while, but that doesn't. No, it definitely counts.

What else do you have? Yeah, but it's not McDonald's. Not much different. Yeah, there is. In and out, then McDonald's? No, in and out, it's the best burger on the world. Yeah. No, it's tasting.

Yeah, he's not getting them. They're great, though. Hey, man, that's not what we're talking at all. It's all fast food. It's all processed fast food. Dude, stop saying that. It's delicious food. What?

I haven't had McDonald's in 10 years, 15 years. Well, take out McDonald's. Say fast food in general. Just in and out is the last you've had it? In and out is the only one I've ever I have eaten in the past 15 years. Are you lying? No. 100%.

You never had 10 years, I'll say. A little Taco Bell on the road. I haven't had Taco Bell since I was 19. I know the last time I had Taco Bell. You can shit your pants. No, because I said I'm not going to eat Taco Bell anymore and I haven't. I was in New York. When was the last time you had Chick-filet?

years ago have you ever eaten oh it's great you're missing out wait have you ever eaten to be honest have you have you ever eaten a vegetable those are like yeah fruit corn that would count i had a corn no i didn't green like a no what do they look like no because that's yeah i eat salads all the time bro how do you think i get this dick god god i got a fucking dick what else you got chud Hey, don't do... Hey, man, just a little too relaxed. Oh, hey, look, it's someone at Brian's show. Don't be a dick, dude.

I saw this. What happened? This fox was crossing a river in Germany, and then it just froze, and they just... Sometimes they can bring them back to life, yeah? No, definitely not. I thought they can't. Well, no, sir. That's the movies.

That's the movies. That's demolition. They did that. They did that to Walt Disney, right? No. They froze Walt Disney in the hopes that we can't. Yeah, but you can't, you can't die, you can't know. He froze to death.

He's froze to death. I like how they cut him out of that, too. Look his little tail. Did he really think he can make it through, trekking through the ice like that? Probably. Might have been his only option. They find animals like that all the time. They find.

Oh, you don't know. You don't know. You're just saying shit. Horses like that. They sure do. Yeah. Even wolves. Yeah, current events aren't super today, but the other one I wanted to ask you about this,

because I've never seen this before, this choke. He was on the ground. He was mounted. Yeah, you're talking about the Ezekiel choke And he was on the bottom of the mount So for the listeners that don't know Think of it as a rear naked choke But it's the guy's face is forward to you

It's very similar Have you ever seen it happen in action? I mean, I've seen it in training I mean, Henner and Huron can do it to people But you don't see a lot of it That's the first one ever inside the octon I'd say the first one ever as far as MMA goes too

Have you ever used it? No I have. I've had a guy do it to me, but not like that. I do it. You know it, Chris.

This is kind of... Front, rear naked joke? Well, that's Ezekiel choke. Front, rear naked joke. I do it all the time. Ezekiel? What? Ezekiel?

Ezekiel? It's the Ezekiel. I don't know why they call it the Ezekiel. Ezekiel bread. Yeah, Ezekiel was a biblical character. Who was Ezekiel? He was the angel. I don't like what he started talking about.

like this. No, nope, shut the fuck on. I don't like me start talking like this. I was a biblical character. Is that it, Chin? No, Chris, it's very, it's all good, man. It's very relevant. Sometimes it's tough with current events on Malcolm X day. I mean, oh my goodness. You think about, well, yeah, it's a different discussion.

Racist, but it's okay. Well, Malcolm X could have a day. Well, he did things a little different, but he still stood for something. A little more violence, a little more aggressive. But he renounced violence later on. Yeah, but he did too much damage. So we don't remember him for that. But he renounced violence, and he, I believe, went,

realized that the Elijah Muhammad. Oh, my God, dude. He separated from Elijah Muhammad. Yes, because. And that's why he was assassine most things. Yes. What is this? Did you see this one?

Steve Harvey made a, I don't even know if it's racist, but I wanted to get your guys take on it. I see that Eddie hung all the time at, on Vise. Ernwan, from Erwan. Irwan's like Whole Foods on steroids. Stop that. Wait, hold on.

What did he say? He was, I don't know if it was. his talk show or something, but Steve Harvey went on a show saying something about, he's making a remark about a book. The book was how to date white girls, you know, for Asian guys or something. Yeah. And he, and then Steve Harvey just went off on like, what did he say that was so racist? It doesn't matter. It was joke. Because Chin, Asian, so we're offended? I thought it was funny because it's just a joke. But all you guys hear. Hold on, but this isn't stand up, Chris. It is. No, it's not. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Hold on.

So far, I love it. Yeah, that's fine. That's one page, too. Excuse me. Do you like Asian men? No. Thank you. How to date a black woman?

A practical guide to Asian men. Same thing It's the same thing You like Asian men I don't even like Chinese food boy I'm feeling He's really silly He's also

He is a stand-up This is like his opening He's doing stand-dust And you don't see a lot of black women With Asian men Yeah that's the joke They're out there though It doesn't matter

I think it's just more like It's making fun of Girls not liking Asian men Right so white girls not liking them And black girls Steve Burns says that It's your cup of tea Steve Burns

It wasn't The all right Author of Fresh Off the Boat got mad at Steve Harvey for making a joke. That's why I was weird because he's real fresh off the boat. Well, that's the show. Oh, no, he has a book, too. He's an author. Well, I think he's not.

He's a chef. He's a world-class chef. And he has a show of a vice. And he's like really like level-headed, smart. He was on rogue and he's talking about how everyone, yeah. But I mean, he jokes trying a lot, dude. He's a comedian. He was literally telling jokes.

Yeah. I hate that shit, dude. let the guy fucking tell jokes If you don't like the jokes Yeah who gives up It's not fucking Wolf Blitzer up there saying like Yeah I think there's a lot of release and humor And I think when you start kind of getting mad at people

Just don't watch it Yeah I mean What? You don't want to say you You worry about alienating No Aliening for once Don't say once like that No I think you're right

I think we're just way too sensitive all the way around Come on, man. Dude, people say they don't, comedians say they don't like playing colleges because of, fuck that. I'll play colleges. I just did. I don't know how fuck.

Fuck them. You know, I've done two colleges like that. I'll say whatever I want. And I was as dirty and as offensive as I wanted to be fucked off. Yep. Somebody told me to be clean and I was absolutely not clean. Yeah, I did one in Ottawa and I did.

They told you not to be clean? No, they said, well, maybe they hired me. I won't, if somebody says, if someone tries to hire me for a gig that's clean, I won't do it. Right. So they hired me and I said, yeah, as long as it's not clean, I did. I got there, and they're like, maybe you want to be clean? I was like, no, you ruined it.

I'm not doing it, but I'm not being clean. Yeah, no, that's what you sign up for. You don't get me there and then fucking change my right. I'm not going to compromise my fucking set. But it's true that a lot of comedians don't do colleges because colleges have become, especially the ones in the Northeast. I mean, Harvard and Yale. They're so tyrannical.

Fuck them. They're tyrannical. Don't care. Yeah, that's it. Drop the knowledge. You got a drop a knowledge. I just came across two things I thought were a fun. funny. Do you know that the average car that's made today, so the car, you know, the average

car you buy? Made in America? Yep. Gives off, well, let's just put it this way. The average car in the 70s gives off more toxic pollution, more fumes, not running, sitting with the engine off in a garage. It gives off more pollution than does a car on the highway. today. Your new car, your average new car. Technology. Technology, because just the vapor, the vapor from the gasoline as it leaks gives off more pollution, which I couldn't believe. And this is from Johann Norberg who wrote a book called Progress, 10 reasons to look forward to the future. But I thought that was fascinating. And how about this, which I was

kind of amazed by? Because he has a section on violence. And we live in a violent world, of course, but it's better than it used to. And since 2000, it's in 2000 to 2015. How many people have been killed directly from actual terrorism, from terrorist acts? How many people total in America? Yeah, so in the OECD countries. Does mass shootings count? Hold on.

Let me make sure I get this right so I don't. When was that book written? This was written in two, it just came out. Okay. It just came out. And terrorist attacks on American soil? Yeah. Well, those terrorist shootings happen, right?

Like those random shootings. So Homeboy, I guess because a terrorist doesn't have to be ISIS, doesn't have to come from the Middle East. It can be anywhere. So the homeboy who did the shootings at the Pulse Nightclub in Florida would count. The guy who did the shootings in San Bernardino would count. Yep. Homeboy, he just shot at Fort Lauderdale would count. The Sandy Hook shootings would count.

How many? Well, besides, if you exclude 9-11, according to this book, since 2000, around 400 people, this is not including the people in Nice, if 86 people killed. Since 2000, 2015. Wait, I think you meant America, just America. No, this is in the 35 countries that make up the OECD, the Organization of Economic Cooper of Development, which is all 35 countries. Since 2000, according to Yohan Nureberg, around 400 people have died from terrorism. in the OECD countries every year, every year. So that's every year.

Mostly in, what, two countries? It's a lot, but it's not as much of time. 400 every year? Yeah. Not good. No, but it's, it's, I feel like if you read it, actually, that includes 9-11. What am I saying? That includes 9-11.

But if you actually think about it. Hey, man, that's super confusing. Now you're throwing 9-11 in there? Yeah, I'm throwing 9-11 in there. Sorry, sorry, sorry. So I think about this, out of 35 countries, 35 countries. 400 people die a year from tourists 35 countries

There's a lot of countries With a lot of people in it It's not as much as you would think Right I would imagine Or do you think Is that surprising And what are the two countries

Where the two countries Where most of the deaths occurred I'd have to know the 35 countries That are in Well Give me the five main ones And give me 35 countries Everywhere from Canada

United States United Kingdom Spain Sweden Switzerland Every country you can think of Italy Not the Middle East Israel

Ireland Turkey Greece Hungary Hungary Germany I'll go with Turkey, Australia, Australia, in the United States. Good. What do you say? Turkey in the United States.

Turkey is one of them. Turkey's one of them. Oh, United Kingdom. No, but that's good. It's actually Israel. Turkey and Israel. That's where most of the deaths occur. It's kind of fascinating.

Hmm. All right. It's still not good. That's a good idea. All right, let's get some fan questions with Chris here. We got a shitload of them for you, but I think we just picked out five or six. Okay. So let's get a little energy, maybe set up.

All right. Well, yeah. punch him in the dick you're just talking about I don't remember no come on don't hey man it's why I'm Luther King Day yeah yeah all right what's the question let's do this now we're about to get into fan questions where the fans are going to ask you a whole bunch of questions

like what time is it where's your watch you don't have one Chris that's because honestly when I have a watch I'm always aware of it and I'm oh it's too I can't see the time you know what I mean they're expensive you want something clean yeah I want something something clean and affordable price yeah that's what i would like and you don't go to the store well do they well i'm glad you're god it's it's like man you're the perfect candidate yeah i'm in the watch

you're a watch guy brann i'm a watch call i'm a watch tell about the watch you what is it it's a movement watch mvm t yeah pronounced movement yeah all right and they believe that style shouldn't break the bank chris i know you're rich but you don't want to waste money on watches no i mean i got a lot bills all right well this starts at hundred thousand watches and over 60 countries. So do they have any left? For you, yes, and they start at $95. Come on.

I'm serious, man. We're talking about a watch here. A watch. You're saying there's watches out there that are cool, sleek, stylish, not clunky that I could buy for $95? Start at $95. And they can do that because they cut out the middleman. Yeah, it's not $500, $600.

I see what, and I'm going to hook you up even more. I'm going to give you 15% off, Chris. What? Yes, with free shipping, with free shipping, and free returns by going to mvMtwatches.com slash fighter. Go to mvmtwatches.com slash fighter. Join the movement. Let's do the shit. All right.

Lady Bonershits asking, what was her name? Lady Boner's shit. Okay. They're asking, who has the better shoe collection, Shab or Delia? I don't know if this is just towards you guys. I got rid of a bunch. But I just got rid of a bunch too. You have to a bunch of unfortunate kids.

Uh, let's go pound for pound, though. You got yeasies, right? Yeah. You got yeasies? Yeah. What are the most expensive shoes you own? I mean, I feel like you're way, you have way more expensive. I've been shoes since I was like, what are the most expensive shoes you own?

Answer me. I'm, I don't know, not that much. Yeah, that's what I thought. No, he has some yeasies. It also depends on, if you're talking. Here's a few pair of 350s. What are your most expensive shoe? I don't want to know, right?

Well, I mean, like worse or what I paid is just depends. What you paid? obviously not worth, bro. Oh, I thought you meant worth. Well, no, worth is different because I might have paid $300 for a shoe and now they're worth, I mean, on the market, four grand. I pay, I've paid $700 to like, so eight. For what?

Yeah. $800 for basketball shoes? Something, I don't remember. Don't yawn about it. That was so obnoxious. That was so obnoxious. You just yawned about spending $700 on shoes. There's a lot, but I mean, girls do it, you know?

Girls spend fucking $2. All the time on bullshit like just. fucking, you know, heels that's, there's barely any materials. But I don't spend money on other things. You know what I mean? Like, that's... House car.

Airplane. Chris, we got our own shoe coming out. We'll see, we know a guy who may be hooked you up. You gotta wear them. I'll wear it. All right. What else you got? All right, Lucian, 83.

Well, you have a... This is Torgulia. You have a very funny Snapchat. Have you ever been caught making fun of someone? No, never. Never. It's so easy to not get caught. Like, people.

always like try to take pictures to me. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, just be better at it. Let's just take a picture, come on. But like, I've never been caught. No way. Because you go to Starbucks and there'd be a guy with like a hat or his ass sticking out and you just be like, look at this fucking...

Yeah, but I do it like... I do it like unashamed. This way, they're like, though there's no way he just did that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Then it's... Then it's obvious. Yeah.

Well, Dove's brother, he's on the beach. And this guy was clearly taking pictures of girls like I guess because they were they were bathing topless or whatever and there's a nude beats or something he's yeah well they were just like some of them were topless but he was like recording it on his phone wow wow and dove's brother goes hey the guy goes what he goes you're recording and he recorded his girlfriend so dove's brother chased him down and tackled him and took the phone from him broke his phone threw it in the water brothers yeah brother's pretty yeah tough dude yeah wow all right slurms smack frenzy can Chris touch on the selfie he posted that

people lost their minds over. Which one? That's what they're talking about. I don't know. That people lost their minds over. My selfie? Yeah. Maybe with his shirt off or something? Maybe.

The craziest thing was your dancing thing and how everybody... Yeah, that got big. That was so... And then you killed it on fucking Lipsing Battle. Oh, yeah. Have you seen it on Lipsing? It was so funny. It was so funny.

It took me a lot of choreograph that for you. Dude! What? It was a freestyle dance I did. Who did you go against? Brent. Morin. Oh, that's right.

You kind of destroyed it. It's kind of your... Well, it's dancing, bro. You're a dancer. You dancer, too. We're dancers. I'm dancer. Dancer on dancer.

What else you got, June? All right. Paul Curry, 91. What has been your biggest inspiration for your new hour? I saw you in San Diego, amazing show. Oh, thanks. Me, probably.

Yeah, I knew Brian was going to say that. No, but I mean, no, I mean, your biggest influence has been me. My biggest inspiration? I don't even know. Like, I just like... You're working on your new hour right now? Yeah. I'm going to show.

shoot it soon. Where? Where and when? In Vancouver. February 25th. Good luck. We're at. We're going to be there tomorrow. The Vogue Theater. What theater? Vogue. Is that where we're at? I don't know. Wherever we are. How many is that? A little bit bigger. How many is that a little bit? 1,100. Oh, ours is bigger. You don't want to follow us, dude. We'll be there. We'll be there Wednesday Thursday. I'm doing two shows. We'll be there Wednesday Thursday. What are you doing? What theater? The big theater. What cafe? The biggest one. What cafe you guys playing?

Café, bro? John's Cafe? Hey, man. A, cafe, E.H? Don't. I don't like that attitude. So you're going to do Vancouver, February next special. You got a name for it? Man on fire.

Are you stealing Denzo? Why are you doing Vancouver, Denzo? Because I talk about Denzo Washington in my hour. Oh, really? Yeah. Why are you doing? But what I'm saying is why are you doing it in Vancouver? Oh, I've seen that fucking thing.

Because I want to do it in Vancouver. I love Vancouver. Oh, okay. Great, great crowds. I'm doing it because you love it there. Hey, man. My inspiration? I don't know.

Friends, family. Ah, shut out. Me. Next question. You try and do a hour year? No, whenever. Whenever I do it, I do it, you know. Yeah, I think that's a mistake.

It's just a lot. I don't know. My agent was like, how many specials do you want to do? And I was like, that's a good point. What do I want to have fucking 25? No. Just do it when they're ready, right? When you feel like every joke is when you've got every beat down and you're really happy with it

and you're tired of it and you want to get it out of there so you can start a new thing. And I didn't realize that I was talking to Rogan about Netflix and went, oh, did you sign like a three special deal? He goes, fuck, no. He was I would never do that

because then I'm forced to do another special. Yeah, yeah. He was when it's ready, I'll do it, but I'd never agree to do one where I have to make a certain commitment. Yeah, that becomes a weird ego thing. That becomes some strange thing like I'm... But then it's not your best material, right?

Because then you're like, fuck, by April, I'd better have an hour. It doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that. It's like... Not for me. It's almost like a tree that grows on its own time. Yeah, but that's so corny to say that it's so pretentious to say it's a tree that grows.

Look, man, I'm just using a plant metaphor and you can give a tree. It's like a tree that grows. If you take water, it takes water. It takes water. You're Bruce Lee or you're not? You're just a comedian. Okay. I don't need you on my podcast to mock me.

What I'm saying is that like a tree, it grows its own pace. It's so cool. I get angry. I get angry. By the time the sense is over, I'm like blood. I'm like, so hot in my mind. What else you got, kids? All right.

Liam Jones 93. Chris, how much writing do you do offstage versus on stage? Seems like most of your material is created on stage. Yeah, you just go out there and wing it. It's not. It's not. He writes. Don't mock the question.

That's the answer to that question. Don't mock that question. That's literally the answer to that question. Don't. It's so rude. That's so disrespectful. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to me.

Respect the fan. I just think of the idea And then I go on stage And I write on stage Pretty much But I think of the idea And I get it It's not like I'm like

Creating it on stage No Mike, believe me he's not All right well I have Not really I don't ever write stuff down though Yeah All right Mark Hosum

Chris if you weren't a comic What would you be Firefighter Yeah you would 100% Not be a firefighter A bear tamer You have zero heroic in you You have zero animal

understanding So what would you be you'd be probably a bear tamer to be totally honest in the wild i'd live in the wild i'd i'd have i would have minimal man i'd i'd i'd i'd subscribe to minimalism no you're not rugged i'd live in a small movable no pod no and i would i would just tame bears you'd be somebody's gimp or you'd be some older wealthier woman's boy'd be a sugar baby yeah you'd be a sugar baby i don't think i don't think i would and if you say it again

I'll fuck you up. Is that it? Maybe he'd be a street fighter. I'm going to be a street fighter. I've said this before, but you couldn't look more. You look more, more, more, more, more like an Albanian sex trap. I know you have. It's incredible.

Are you Albanian? What is your nationality? I'm Italian. I mean, Italiano. I'm Italian. I'm Irish and I'm Polish and I'm mostly Polish. Have you taken your DNA test? You ever done that?

I did it. I'm about to do it. yeah i know well yours oh cool dude it's gonna be fascinating what i am yeah what are you gonna be dude just other just whatever it is just certain styles of people that are out there you'll be that listen you don't know you'll maybe be stuff in me oh yeah yeah you don't know maybe maybe italian and then you'll come back and be like oh i knew that but oh i got a little bit of that in me really it is kind of interesting no no no and it'll probably change the way you live day. So good thing you're doing that.

Everybody should know what they are. Really? Why? I would just like to know whether or not. Your roots. My roots, I'd like to know, like, where my ingenuity, my industrious, my career. So then you feel better in your head? Nope. Nope. Is it changed? So what is it? No. What does it change ultimately? I'm not in a quarter law

and I don't have to answer all these specific questions. Chris, you got dates coming up, man? Yeah, I'm going to be in Vancouver. I'm going to going to be in Chicago, I'm going to be in Indianapolis. You know, get tickets if you want. If not, it'll sell out anyway. Hey, man. You are rude.

God damn it. What do you charge a ticket? I don't even know. Oh, man. How much is a bottle of milk? $40? I lost all concepts. I don't know.

You're so out of touch. How much is a costume? I don't know. Outfit. How much is a whole outfit? You mean $3,800? Do you not do any of your own shopping? No.

I have, who is the guy in Growing Pains do it for me? The older dad. Alan Thick? No, no, not Growing Pains. He passed away, you said of a bit. What's the one with Michael Keith, Michael? Michael. Family Ties?

Yeah, family ties. Who's the dad in that? The black guy? No, the black guy, no. The guy from Family Matters. Who's that guy? I remember Oh, Bill Cosby

No, no Look him up I didn't mean Growing pains Look at He was a nice guy I wonder what he's doing That guy

I have him Oh shit He does my personal shopping Oh my god Yeah That is so fucking random Chris What's his name Michael Gross

Did he pass away Take a look at what he's doing He's a good guy Damn he's aged well He looks good Shit he's born in 47 Oh yeah He was in tremors

I always liked him Oh I love tremors You've seen it now. Power of... Tremer's 2 sucked. Tremer 6. Oh, he did tremor 6. Okay, well, that's not good. Okay.

Dude, you know what? It's two triloges. I'll tell you something right now. Shit. Although he was on Law & Order Special Fiction Units for... Oh, for... From 2002 to 2016, series regular. Oh, he's making bank there.

He's fine. He's a hundred percent fine. He hasn't stopped working. He hasn't stopped working. He has a serious regular? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that would go from 2002 to 2016. He's been working straight for 14 years.

He's got so much money, that guy. Yeah. He's got crazy money. Yeah, from family ties than fucking... Yeah, he's doing... Oh, Trembur's five? Just fine.

There's six of them? Fuck you. He's doing just fine. That's a great movie. No, it's a TV show. Oh, that's... Okay. My buddy used to produce that.

I don't know if he was a series regular on that. Working non-stop. That's what it says, though. Hey, go up to that law and order thing. Click on that, please. TV series. I think that's just when it's... was on? I don't know if he's a series regular.

No way, dude. They're just saying that's how long the show's been going. I don't think he's on for fucking ever. Oh, shit, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Do you see his name on there? What the fuck's his name? Wait, wait, hold on.

There he is. No, he's on two episodes for God's sakes. That one fuck is making Tremors 19. You don't do that after long. That's what I was saying. Samantha Mathis, who's been, who's great. dude this business this business when you're old as I am

you see people that were famous and go through the list what it's just fuck dude they all say two episodes though right yeah Samantha Mathis was like a hot ticket hell yeah she was a hot ticket hell yes she was a hot ticket and she's a good actress Paul Wesley that's my buddy two episodes it's hilarious yeah I was on this show

I did you did yep one of Law & Order Fuck yeah we like the killer They thought I was and I turned out to be an asshole and I died Dude our boy Adam Rodriguez is on CSI now He's a regular

Is that He's doing a new I thought he's doing a different show It's CSI though Melissa Joan Hart One episode Cynthia Nixon From Sex and the City

One episode Fucking Quinn one episode Tiffany Evans one episode How about Aiden Quinn A star for a long time Yeah but they just did it Dude Marshall Allman One episode

I mean All these guys Stephen Collings Jay head One episode From 7th Heaven Boy All right

Real No, nobody's listening anymore. Is this live, by the way? Sure as fuck isn't, Chris. Welcome to the podcast life. It's going to go out later today. Hey, Chris, we're really, thanks a lot. We appreciate it.

You'll get the bill in the mail. Yeah, thanks a lot. To help people follow me. No, I want to see artwork made. It's telling people to follow me. Listen, you don't hijack our fan base, and you've been disrespectful and people will get met. Thank you for what. I'm not disrespectful, dude.

Dude, why are you kicking your leg up like that? I don't know, man. Man, you've got... We're only going to charge your half for coming on now. What are you doing for the rest of the day now that you're exhausted from talking? I don't know, dude. From the drive? Fuck this, man.

It's so far away. We live in the hills. What are you going to do? I know. I don't know. All right, dude. What'd you have for breakfast? We're getting out of here.

I fucking ate the oatmeal. No wonder you're in. B, you and I are taking off tomorrow night. Wednesday, we are in Vancouver. We are live in Vancouver. Wednesday and Thursday. night. Friday we're in Seattle, Saturday we're in Portland. Vancouver

sold out for Thursday night. T-Night's night show, and then very few tickets are available for Seattle and Portland. T-Fackay.com, the first show in San Francisco, the first week of February 9th, not the first week. February 9. Cubs, that bitch is almost sold out. February 8 and 9. I'm at Cap Cities. 9 and 10. You're doing two shows of the Cops? I did 7. Shut up. I'm at Cal.

I'm at Cap Cities in Austin. Augustin. February 1, 2, 3, 4. Get your tickets. Apparently, I'm the best. What do you mean apparently? Well, that's what the Comedy Store Pest release is. We'll figure it out. TFATK.com, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland.

See you this week. And Chris, fuck you. This is the final kid. I accept. With the Delia. We're out. That was so great. That was great.

Chin, erase the whole episode. Thank you.