The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 238: Will Sasso

Episode Date: April 26, 2026

Will Sasso joins Brendan and Bryan to talk steamrolling ketchup packets, Kellyanne Conway, animal calls, running with polar bears, Ray Romano, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hulk Hogan, Andrew Dice Clay, Dracula and much more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken. Chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them.

Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Onet's... studios in Plyar, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. It doesn't matter.

Sounds better when you say, live. But we're not live. We don't do it. Shut up, man. And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. It's not live. This is not live.

It's not live. What is up finding kid listeners? We're not. We got Will Sasse on the house today. Brian, the Kid Callan, coming fresh from the set of Goldbergs. I get the whole Onet crew following around filming stuff. Brian will be in Laugh Boston tonight, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. That's Laugh Boston with his boy Stevie Blue Eyes, the Boston native.

Go see those crazy, funny clowns. And then I will be at the Ice House in Pasadena. It is sold out. But good news. We just announced the next Big Brown live. It's April 27th in La Jolla, California, basically San Diego, San Diego and San Diegoites. I forget which one it is. Either way, the Comedy Store in La Jolla, California, April 27th, Big Brown is coming live.

Get tickets right now at La Jolla Comedy Store.com. Whatever the website is, just you'll find them. We will have them up on TFACK by the time you guys are listening to this. La Jolla live at the comedy store. Big Brown is live. Hogoso shirts, skeptical hippo drop next week, T-FATK.com. Also, firing the kid army,

I'm creating a new channel for the Big Brown Breakdown. So now, I know it's difficult and it's exhausting. You're going to have to subscribe to the Big Brown Breakdown. I will no longer be on the Firen Kid feed. We're launching a new channel just so it doesn't cluster things up. We thought it was the best way to go.

So if you're listening to this right now, go listen to the new Big Brown Breakdown, UFC 209 with Stone Cold Steve Austin in order to listen to him. and I have all 12 of my past episodes on there. You have to subscribe on iTunes, all your other stuff, SoundCloud, Stitcher. But it's a new channel.

Big Brown Breakdown with Stone Cold Steve Austin is up. We are here with Will Bullheart Sasso. I love your new setup, dude. Why don't you pull this down so I can see your face, bro? Okay, well, so what's your thing? It's been a while since I've been here. I know, but look at how I'm doing the mic. Not here.

I've never been here. Yeah, all right. Well, I know a thing or two about. Chin, help him with this. There we go. It's going to freak me out. No, this is good. No, that's not going to.

No. I just, it's weird because you got this here, so you and Brendan are featured. And then your guest is like this all the time. Not if you keep the mic like. Yes, if you keep the mic like down. I've seen it. So I'm like, why is it this? Yeah, but if you can bring the mic down.

Like the other person who's like interviewing you. Yeah. I get it's a little cramp, brother. So where are the bodies? No. Just talking to the mic, please. Okay. All right.

Do you want me to do? I want you to move it, man. Okay, fine. Geez. Hey, how are you? Is this the way? There you go. So you want me like this?

Well, I just want you to sit against the thing and be comfortable. That's way better. Okay, all right. Is that, all right. There you go. Perfect. No, see, it's now it's on your. Can you hear my beard?

You're the only guess who's had a problem with this. Hold on. Oh, that fucking water bottle makes me so mad. What's wrong with this? It's so big, dude. Yeah, it's really big. That thing is so, I could cross the Sahara with this. It's literally what they bring for entire platoons, which you can take a shower.

It is a lot of water. A lot of people, in California, you've got to be ready. There's earthquake stuff, and you can get, like, your emergency kit. But you don't have to carry a week's worth of water around. I carry it with me. That way. I'm always safe. I can't palm that.

I can't even wrap my hands around that. I just parked in an underground, well, like, you know, a multi-level parking structure. What if there's an earthquake in there? And then it's like, and then I'm down there. What am I? I'm waiting for the rock to come get me. And that's not going to happen. You would die.

I got this and a bunch of tuna fish sandwiches from the gas station. You take two. I'm good for weeks. You carry tuna fish sandwiches in the gas station. They're perishable. I load up every three weeks. Aren't they perishable? They're perishable.

But I feel like they're super perishable. Yeah. Why don't you get things that aren't as perishable? Hold on, I guess. Ah, it's going to bother me. Stop drinking water. My whole life you've been drinking water. It drives me crazy.

Don't make those noises either. I love being here, man. I want to congratulate you and Brendan, but Brendan's not here. He's on his way. I said, why were you at the lap factory in the middle of the day? He goes, don't worry about it, bro, and he hung up on me. He does secret shit behind my back. Well, what are you supposed to be like?

No, but he does like business stuff behind my back. What's that? I think he's building an empire, like a joint empire. See, this is the beginning of the end. This is the problem. You got to trust Brendan. Just let him do whatever the fuck he's going to do. By the way, the only reason you're sitting here in this place right now is

because of Brendan. So we'll let him, the only reason. You take that back. Oh, I have proof positive why it's the only reason. Why? Because you and I had a podcast for years. Okay. And I'm still doing it. Guess where I'm doing it. Yeah. And same fucking room in my house that I've been new. Yeah, you're right. Brendan will rent the space. He'll have an artist come in and paint this. He'll get chairs. Yeah. He's a nut. Right. And over in my house where we do the 10 minute podcast, by the way, tune into the 10 minute podcast. Every Tuesday and Thursday, it's a 10 minute show, myself and writer producers, Chad Colchin, and Tommy Blotcha. It's very funny.

Two of the absolute funniest, irreverent and thoughtful, intelligent guys, I know. Okay. A little bit of a departure from the way it used to go. No. But I'll tell you, it still smells like your farts in these foamy's on the mic. Well, no, Shab is a businessman. Yeah. He's a nut.

And also he has that, he has that, that you and I don't have. He has that pro-athlete sustained intensity. that sustained ferocity and that need to dominate other podcasts. Yeah, that's interesting. By the way, I do want to talk about this when, well, whatever, you know, I'll say it now. Excuse me. Oh, I drink too much water. Hold on.

I just need to wash that water down. No. I got to wash those burps down with the water. Hold on. It's a vicious cycle. I'm addicted. Hold on. For the love of God, don't drink another glass.

Don't. Oh, my God. So here's my thing. Yeah. Oh, 10 minute podcast. By the way, it's five years old. Five years. Yeah, a couple of weeks ago.

And also, I think we've passed our 400th and fifth hundredth episode without doing shit for them. Not bad. Yeah, it's just, you know, we just just going. Yeah, it's going. It's like the sea. It keeps being there. Oh, this water. Bro, come on, man.

What were you going to say? Tune in to the show Thursday, the 10-minute podcast. Actually, remember how I used to just run the mics on you and Keanu Reeves when we used to do the show? Yeah, but yeah, I know how you'd make that mistake. That was actually Christalia. Yeah. The comedian? Yeah.

It was Keanu. Did you think that was Keanu Reeves the whole time? They're so interchangeable. I thought it was Keona Reeves for like three years. They're so interchangeable in terms of when Nietzsche said very, very chauvinistically, man cannot contemplate a woman's depth for she is not even shallow. I disagreed with that, of course. I think women can be deep.

Yes. Chris is careful. Be let be just, he's not here. to defend himself. No, but I'm just saying Chris. I know I call them Keanu Reeves, but Chris, he's a national. He's a, he, food, drink coffee and come. As you used to say, he's, I shouldn't, whatever.

It's not the 10-minute podcast. What I said? What I said? Oh, I used to said you were concerned with two things filling your belly and emptying your ball. That's right. He wants to fill his tummy, empty his ball. He likes to crush.

So, yeah, and the 400th and 5th episode have come and gone in your absence. And nothing. We didn't, anyway. No, I know. But it's a slow rolling train. And I'll tell you, you know how I used to just get the mics going without you knowing. Sure. Yeah, I got one of those episodes on Thursday.

The 10-minute podcast. All right. Come on by visit the 10-minute podcast. This is not going to be a fucking informational for your podcast. Subscribe on iTunes. Leave us a rating and review while you're there. It's good times over the 10 minute podcast. We're having a good time.

Hey, there's bits. There's fun conversation. But you know what? On the real man, there's too many fucking podcasts. Do you listen to any podcasts? Yes. What? Which?

I listen to, I listen to something to wrestle with. Okay. With Bruce Pritchard and Conrad Thompson on the MLW radio network, which is a podcast, though. It's a great podcast about wrestling. Good. And then I listen to a few political podcasts. Oh. I do.

Which are? Well, I listen to, you know, NPR. I listen to Trump cast, which is a slate thing. But I also listen to some podcasts on the right because after Trump was won the election, I was like, okay. Yeah. I'm in Hollywood. You know, I wouldn't say that I'm in the bubble at all, but everyone doesn't want to say that they're in that bubble. Yeah.

And I think it's good to know, I was saying the other day, it's really important to know the other side. Absolutely. Or, you know, I tend to be in the middle. I'm not left, but I think it's important to know. I was saying this the other day, when you have a gripe about somebody, you better know what you don't like about them. That's right. That's right. You better be specific.

And I'm so sick and tired of like, you know, everyone says it. But you go to Facebook and it's just people that you agree with because you know them. It's an echo chamber. Right. It's annoying. So I have the day of the election, the day after the election, I remember going, okay, I need to listen to some podcasts on the right. So I listened to Glenn Beck. Excuse me.

Wasn't a fan. Also, he's not really fond of. Trump. So I wanted someone who was at least open to Trump in a way that would blow my fucking mind. Yeah. Tried listening to Alex Jones. Can't do it. Well, he's crazy. Yeah, he's absolutely out of his fucking mind. And then, uh, so I listen to Ben Shapiro, the Ben Shapiro show. Yeah. I don't agree with a lot of what he says, but he, you know, he's quite fact-based. Of course, he can't help but slant things his way. So I, I've taken to listening to, I listen to all my lefty shit and then I listen to some hardcore right-wing conservative shit. I think that's smart. I have to,

Especially now. You're probably going to get closer to the truth or closer to an informed opinion. Look. Because when you hear somebody like Steve Bannon talk, as much to people criticize, he's got some points that make, like, when you hear, you know. I don't know. You might want to retract that in about three years when shit goes down. What do you mean? Do you have any inside?

I got a little bit of inside information. Like what? Well, I don't know when you're airing this, but did you watch the joint address last night? I sure did. Okay. Well, yours. truly wrote half of that with him. I didn't know you for that.

I wrote it, yeah. You know Trump? What's that? Do you know Don? I know Mr. Trump very well. Really? Yeah, I call him DJT. Wow.

Don, what's his middle name? See? You don't know. Yeah, and then, no, no, no. Hey, Ontario. Come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. Don't miss out.

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And I wrote the speech, and then I run it back for Bannon. And I do a fun little impersonation. I do my Trump, you know, and he gets a kick out of it. What's your Trump impersonation? I know you did one. We're going to stop the, you know, the illegal flow of blah, blah, blah. And everybody loves it because everybody loves impersonations. You know, I come by here and I do impersonations. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's a good time to do.

What is the nicest thing Donald has ever said to you? The nicest thing Donald was that we were Mar-a-Lago. Yeah. And I was dining with him and Ivanka and Melania and the whole family. Sure. Barron, the boy was eating chicken strips. Huh. And he said he complimented me on how I

ate my, my Caesar salad. What did he say? Well, I like the way you eat your Caesar salad. You separate the shrimp from the Caesar salad. I know that you asked specifically for no croutons. You're watching your carb intake. And then you eat the salad first. What's the thought behind that? And I said it's important. You've got to eat your vegetables and your fruits first because they digest a little faster, right? Yeah. So you don't want the protein underneath. Yeah, yeah. Just sticking your bowels. Yeah, sticking, and then the vegetables will sit on top, and then you get all farty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then Baron laughed because I said farty, and he's like, I want you around another time. You and Baron, you're going to teach him how to throw a football. You're going to be the man I can't be, the father I can't be. Okay. So I'm Baron's godfather. I didn't know that. And I wrote the speech along with Ben. Congratulations.

Do you get paid to be his godfather? A lot. It's like the toy. Remember that Richard Pryor movie? Yes, I do. I do. Kids, watch the toy. What is the meanest thing Donald's ever said to you?

Oh. He called me Chris Christie once when I was coming off his jet backwards. I'm sorry. He saw my ass and he thought I was Chris Christie. Oh, that's me. He said, get back in the jet, Chris, you fat fuck. And I was like, what? And he's like, get in there, Chris Christie.

Well, oh, hey, what's up, Willie Baby? And then... I call you Willie Baby. Yeah, we have all sorts of nicknames. Oh. Yeah, dude, there's a lot of stuff I can't tell you about what's going on over there in the White House. Well, what would be one little nugget, one little secret? Do you think...

What does he have planned for us that we don't know about? Okay. All right. the whole that whole seven country you know ban oh it's just an immigration thing yeah yeah yeah I mean it's a Muslim ban we all know that but it's a bit of a smokescreen

you know a little bit of a swerve you know the way Bannon likes to strategize things yeah it's a little head fake a little head fake yeah in sports we call it head fake right he takes two steps back so that you can take one step forward and no one notices oh right yeah so anyway that's all that's all there so that they can

wipe around off the map so what's going on your podcast wait in a minute you just dropped the huge bomb. What's going on with your podcast, man? It's great that you have, I like this wood thing, the California. That would belong, that would look nice in my den. I got all sorts of woodsy stuff. That seems not that circumstance. But a zebra, what's going on in here?

Well, and a superhero eating a burger. You guys are nuts. You obviously don't want to talk about him wiping eras or not. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Will stuck on the mic. Hold on, Will.

Sorry. Will stuck on the mic here. I got you. I got, I got it. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you.

Hold on. He got stuck. It's a good angle for a big dude. He got stuck on the mic. There you go, buddy. Okay. Okay. Now, all right. Yeah, and I wrote half his speech. And, yeah, Bannon and I, Steve Bannon, myself, and Cameron Crow. Right. Now, how is your love life? Is there, are there any sparks flying among his staff with you? Or are you doing any fucking?

Yep. Did you see, you saw the picture, the much-ballahood pitcher that made it out across, you know, Associated Press. writers and all that shit with um kelly ann conway sitting on the couch yeah sure she was squatting on that couch yeah um she was thinking to me and she was texting me she told me later that she was texting are you having a fair are you are you don't i'm asking i'm allowed to ask a question i'm cool you're my boy we go back you're having an affair with count count we go back a long way right i'm asking yeah are you going to tell me right now look me in the face yeah even though now they can't see my face you'd think that kelly and conway's not a hot? I think she's hot. She's hot in like a dirty, like a dirty, dirty, used up porn star kind of way.

Well, I don't want to get too rude with her. I think she's attracted. Oh, she's, yeah, she's got that hair that she's got it. I don't give a, fuck. Yeah, that's what I like. She's got a fresh, fucked hair. That's right. She's not worried about the bags under her eyes. Those make her sexy. By the way, women, bags under your eyes, crow's feet? Yeah, I like, I love that shit. I'm getting oldest of crow's feet. I'm not worried about it at all. That's right. She's intelligent. Yeah. She, well, she's A bit of a liar probably. Yeah, a little bit of a liar. She's good at double speak.

Maybe that's a better way to put it. She's got a tough job. Oh, she's got a very tough job. She's got a sort of, yeah, she's got to deal with a very unpredictable boss. Yeah, we've been fucking for like five months. And I love the way she fucks. Whoa, dude. Yeah.

Sir, I, he was like, he just hit me out of nowhere. And she's like sitting. She's like, Daddy, this is the way I sit on. Daddy? Yeah, she sits on my face. This is kind of impressive. She sits on my face. I'm not asking.

She's on her laptop or usually on her, you know, her handset there, on her phone. Okay. And she just, she takes my credit card and then she just buys shit. Okay. And she squirms on my face. And I'm like, and I'm like, oh, and she's like, I need a new, I need a, I need more eye shadow. Okay. So she's, I want to buy, I want a new passion.

And do you like this pants suit? And you get off on this? Okay. And she doesn't, she makes that noise when she rub. No, that's just the sound of like her. Okay, okay. It's like crickets's legs rubbing together. I don't need you to get this detail.

And she's just squishing my face. And I'm like, woof, and I got to like slap her ass when I'm suffocating and shit. All right. So you do it. Super deviant stuff. Yay. Really weird bondage shit.

Oh, God. Piss play. What? That whole Russian piss play. That's true. It's true. We roll out with Trump. Oh, we get in a Marine one.

We fucking go wherever we want and we make hookers piss. Whoa. That's what we do. You're really, really dropping a lot of... But not my Kellyanne. No, I didn't say. Don't you say that she... You said.

Yeah, no, she sits on my face and... Okay, but you said something about Pizzler. Then let me ask you this. So you get, does this turn you on when a woman racks up your credit card? Only when Kelly Ann, well, it's because it's, well... Because you feel like daddy and you get to pay. Whose credit card? Well, where's that expense account going?

Oh. Taxpayer money. So I'm not so worried about it. Well, that's not very American. Oops. Oh, shit. That's not very American, dude. I shouldn't say that out loud. Yeah.

Yeah, you're giving filetia while draining the taxpayers to hard-earned dollar. Yeah, that's right. And she racks up a lot of money. Don't you feel guilty about it? Donnie said it's okay not to let her know that it's taxpayer money. So she doesn't know, but you do. She thinks she's spending my money. We're all kind of playing, Kelly.

You know what I mean? I got you. She used to hook up with Steve a while back. But it's sort of one of those handoffs. What? Like, you know, like George Harrison would like handoff his girlfriend, Eric Clapton. I love her. I do too.

Can I have it? Okay. It's like that free. love thing. These are older people. Yeah. So they're used to, they're like pre-coconades and all that shit. And it's just like, fuck-in. And it's just a fuck barn, the White House. It's a fuck-barn. Dude, please don't call it a fuck-barn. Have some respect for America. Oh, I'll have some respect for America. Okay. The first lady is a beautiful, beautiful woman. She is. She's beautiful. Yes, she is. He had picked her. Yes, he did. And you want me to say, oh, there's no,

you got a beautiful woman walking around? Just don't call it a fuck barn. I'm just, look, look, dude, if you had, you got two gals, one and two, right up next to each other. Sure. You got Kellyanne Conway and Melania Trump. I don't even know which way I'm going, but I know I'm excited. All right, me too. And you're like, well, don't call it a fuck barn. This is about transparency.

Okay, you're being super transparent here. I'm an American citizen. I can say what I want. I'm Canadian citizen. I am still a Canadian citizen. And I'm an American citizen. Are you happy with your Justin Trudeau? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's cool.

He's a good-looking guy. He's got nice hair. You know, he rolls his sleeves up and stuff. Yeah, it's not really the, you know, sort of the, I guess, criteria for a great leader, though. More fucking, you're drinking the water out one corner of your mouth. Do you see how you're favoring one side? What's going? Please.

Oh, it's so dry. I've been dry lately. It's not dry. I haven't had to have any water at all. I get like the hard snout in my nose. I got, why are you drinking out of one side of the mouth? Because I am like Jean-Critian The former Canadian

Prime Minister, huh? He had the bells palsy talk out of one side. All right. This is a joke that has no resonance with your audience. No, it doesn't. But there's some fun stuff on the 10-minute podcast that you might like. We do some wrestling stuff, some Rick Flair impersonations. Scott Hall.

Hey, yo. It's a lot of fun. Hold on. Drain too much water. Dude, I don't know if you're drunk or what's going on. Are you taking medication? Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, no.

What kind of stuff are you taking? Well, I get it from work. I get it from, you know, I call it work. The fuck barn, as he calls it. Please don't call it that. What do you get there? I'm taking some Mexican Viagra. Okay, look, I'm going to have, you're a very popular guest on the podcast.

Oh, a lot of requests. And I love, I want to say, for real, I love your audience. They're good people. They're big fans of yours. Well, that's wonderful. And I feel welcome every time I'm here. For the office of the president, only because we have a lot of red-blooded real Americans who listen to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And I'm going to ask you to just temper your... Yeah. Okay, because you can't... They're not down with that whole Merrill Street bullshit where she's like... Like, nice and, like, nice and not the arts, right? A lot of your people listening, you got to face the shit head on, Brian. If there's anything I taught you with the world of podcasting, when I invented the 10-minute podcast and intern, you, at least this podcasting thing. That's a bullshit thing you said, you said, you've been around for like 20.

35, 30 years. Yeah, I have. Right. I got my own show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And congratulations. Thanks. That's terrific and you deserve it. Thank you. And you deserve everything coming to you. Thank you. And I deserve some of that accolade because I invented you. When I invented the 10-minute podcast. Don't say invent. Don't say that either. Oh, I invent. No, we talked about doing a podcast that one night. Yeah, we talked about doing a podcast. And then Chris and I said, well, don't do it on your own will because it'll go nowhere. No. Let us come in.

And buck you up a little. Let us come in and buck you up. No, that's not what. Or the wind might take you a rolling. No. And you won't know where you're going. So let us anchor you out. No, no, no, no.

We're going to anchor you on outside. Otherwise, you're going to run her out and you're going to drift in the sea. Just drift in the sea. Never going to see again. And you're going to listen. And I don't you're just eaten by pelicans and Albatross out there in the middle of the open ocean on a garbage island. Yeah. No, that's not how it happened.

I was on the treadmill. And we wanted to do something together. And we're like, oh, let's do it. a podcast. And the whole thing about podcast is they're so long, right? Oh, just two or three guys. No. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah for an hour and a half. Being insulting now. Now, now let's talk about fighting after we've already talked for an hour. You're being a little insulting now. Oh, good thing. This is what, here's why you need to thank your audience every fucking day. You need to ask them to send in pictures, then mural your wall with it.

And then kiss that wall every day. Because these people just want to hear some succinct and wonderful coverage of the fight game, which you and Brendan, by the way, the best of all time at that. You got a real UFC heavyweight, a real professional fighter and a guy who I got to give you kudos. That fucking video was so fucking funny, by the way, the fighting video you put out on Instagram. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Okay. But having said that, all right, stay with me.

Don't get all, don't get all big-headed. You got a dude here who could, you know, what have I said about you versus C.M. Punk? How fast is that going? A whole lot faster than Mickey Gall. I'll tell you that right. I'll keep him busy. Yeah, you keep him busy. You'll kick his fucking head loose.

Probably kick his head off. Five seconds. We would have a UFC record as far as the time. I'll keep them busy. Oh, yeah, you keep them unconscious is what it happened. Your audience just wants some fight coverage. Yeah. The fighter and the kid.

They know what they're getting. And then you tune in. and then you guys are talking about coffee and you guys are you talking where that what's the origin of that is that we don't know where that came from nobody knows you guys you're talking about your show Brendan's got more coffee yeah we're gonna

go in we're gonna go in we're gonna talk about fighting we got some fight talk I'm saying your audience deserves boom fight talk we're gonna give them right out of the gate and you need to thank your lucky stars that they hang on your everywhere they're just waiting

you know podcasts have commercials yeah it's like an hour-long commercial, just about you guys, before you even get to the meat. Let me ask you a question. Now, you're a big kid, and I've said this before, you actually have a higher ratio of fast twitch and slow twitch. You're pretty explosive. You're also a big man. Your frame is big. Good six foot, four inches. Now, if you can see those bull heart calves, you'll understand what's going on. He's got some very strong. Very strong. Now, if you and I... I'm going to fart, and I got a cramp in my head. I dare you to fart. If I do, I'm farting right in that mic. I would dare you to, and I want you to. Now, let me ask. Okay, yeah, he's stuck on the mic again. He's stuck on the mic. Yeah, you're stuck on the mic.

All right. Now, listen, if you had to fight me, nope, you got to turn the mic the other way. If you had to fight me. Yeah. And we were in this, right here in this studio. Yeah. And we had to fight to the death. Oh, if we had to fight the death in this studio?

What would you do to me? And what would you, how would you try to fight me? Okay, I want you to get rid of, you don't need the word try. But here's what I would do. First, I would distract you. Because noise. I got a lot of wind. I know you got a lot of wind.

You got to conserve your energy. Yeah. Make it quick. You're a dancing motherfucker. I know this. Make it quick. I would distract you with noise. So the first thing would be, I would call it like sort of a, maybe a sea lion bleat.

Yeah. I would just make that noise and your ears would start to. Right. You would shut. Okay. See, and then you would die. Okay. Do it for that long.

Okay. Then I would, see now. Now that when you did that and you'd shoot in. I'd pull your. legs out and I do a steamroller. What's a steamroller? What's a steamroller? I'm not going to do that here.

Yeah. Because Brendan did such a nice job with the studio and he'll walk in and go, what the fuck did you boys do? Because everything will be destroyed in here if I do the steamroller. Yeah. You were seeing Strange Brew? Sure. Not really, but I get it.

The McKenzie brothers. Okay, but I don't know if that's going to work on me. You don't think a steamroller's going to work on me? Well, you got to get my legs. You're like a ketchup packet. By the time I get to your head, it just pops. I'll steamroller. You steamroller from your legs and you'll steamroller from your legs and you

You'll roll up like a tube of toothpaste. Don't. And then your head will get all huge. I'm not letting you down. And it'll be like scanners. I'm punching. I'm popping my. Oh, you're punching me.

Yeah. What are you doing? Are you jabbing me? Well, you think I'm just, what am I? I'm, how tall am I? I'm six foot 10. Here's six four. And I weigh seven hundred and thirty pounds.

You're six four and you're probably a little over 300 pounds. Relax. I'm a little under 300 pounds and I'm six three. Okay. Truthfully, I'm about six three and a half. And right now? Yeah. And don't lie.

right now don't lie now look at me don't lie now you know i got issues i know you got some issues with you i'm a little bigger hold on you're an emotion can i be honest with you're an emotional leader now get honest i'll get honest with your audience because this is what we were trying to get you at i'll get honest with your eyes what do you what do you weigh i'm i'm a little heavier now that it's okay hey look i know you have trouble pronouncing your words you can say it i'm a little heavier now that i want to be i understand that i no no judgments here I don't. We're a little more or a little less.

I don't do drugs or drink alcohol. I drink water. And I, but I, I medicate, I medicate food. Oh, no. I medicate with food. Yeah. But I eat, like, you medicate your food? Medicaid your food.

Okay, fine. Medicaid myself. Yeah. Cheese. And dough. No. How much cheese is. If I'm sad.

How much cheese is? How much cheese on a pizza? Eat a lot of cheese on a pizza. Well, there's a lot of cheese on a pizza. I'm currently. not eating any, you're going to get mad. No red meat, no chicken, no foul. That makes me mad. Yeah. None of that. Why? Because somebody told you about some bullshit diet from California, some unlicensed shithead? No, nobody told me I have gone pescatarian before. That annoys me.

Well, and I guess, you know, according to you, I'm on a mission to drop my testosterone levels. Now you want to raise it. I know, but that's what I'm doing is I'm on a mission to drop my testosterone because I'm eating tons of lettuce. Yeah. And I want you lifting heavy weights. I want you eating saturated fats. It's been a while since I've been in the gym lifting weights, man. I've been doing a lot of hiking and cardio on my treadmill.

I get all, I get drink this. Hiking and cardio is super leftist. You clearly. Not a whole lot of working out. And I do some yoga. That's super leftist, bro. Not when it's DDP yoga. It still sucks.

You should get him as a sponsor. I want you to get under an Olympic bar. I want you to throw some wheels on there. I want you to do some cleans, some snatch. I want you to do some squat, deadlift, I'll eat some bench press. And I don't want you to get out there. That's all I want you to do, actually.

I want you to do the big lifts. I eat to celebrate. I eat one of sad. I eat one of them, you can eat, but I want meat. I want a lot of vegetables. I want yams. That's fine.

I want some fat. I want good fats in there. I want some whack butter from pot. Yeah. The fatty part of the ribbi. This whack butter that I obsess over. It's walnut, cashew, almond. Oh, that sounds good.

mix, it's a beautiful thing. That sounds good. I thought you were about to get into the dairy butter thing with me. No. Because guys like you who are in great shape and aren't shredded. Who aren't shredded, you're right. No, I'm sure. Yeah, right.

Guys like you who aren't shredded but are just sort of this. You can pack down a bunch of butter and saltines all day. I can't. I'll balloon up. My metabolism is slow as fuck. And I used to be much heavier than this, believe it or not. So now I essentially have the fat cells of a much larger man. But to answer your question from a little while back, right now I'm 206.

I'm just a, I'm just a UFC heavyweight. You just said 206. Yes. I'm 206, 63 and a millimeter. With all due respect, I feel like you're lying by 100 pounds. And I'm sorry to say that out loud. But you are on my podcast and I just have to, in the interest of being honest. No, I appreciate that.

And that's what I'm talking about. Don't think you're 206. People here are very transparent. No, I, too. What did I say? Do you do other animal, because you did an. amazing seal. Is that a bull seal?

That's a walrus, I think. Can you do that? I would do that. And you go, oh, where am I? And then pretty soon you're fucking, what? My ankles feel tight and just crush, crush, snap. And it's fucking your knees or, your pettillas are dislocating.

And your wheel, wheel, barrel. And I'm just rolling you up. Just getting the last of that ketchup out of there. These are delicious fries and they only gave me two packets of ketchup. And so you're with a large fries. You need some Brian, some Brian blood to dip your fries into it. I need some.

some of that brain blood. You need Brian goo. I need Brian goo and not just, you know, your usual, you know, pasty. I want that brain blood where it's six or seven different, you know, colors and humors. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, look at that deep burgundy gray brain blood. I need to go back. And oh, look how orange that blood is. Oh, so like different. Yeah. The body's amazing. It's an amazing machine. I feel like you've done this before to somebody. Pop someone's head off. Yeah. We've all. We've all. got into a scrap here and there. Yeah, but not popping somebody's head off. Well, you've never driven around L.A. You got these road raging idiots, some guy on a ninja Kawasaki and he comes

and you're off the 10. You know, you got to get back in your car. It's time to roll that catch up up. Get back in your car. That's murder. Let those highways. What? That's murder. Let those highway patrol. What did you say? That's murder. Let those highway patrol deal with it. You can't. Let them clean up the bodies. We've been having a lot of rain here. It's all right. When you go hiking and you're up in the hills and someone. gets in your way. You just, again, you shoot in, you shuck a leg, right? Wait, you just, just a fellow hiker, you don't even know? If he looks at me wrong. Well, why? You can't just come out of a guy if he just looks at you're wrong?

You've seen a dirty ketchup packet, like, up in the hills and you're like, that doesn't belong here. Yeah. Right, yeah. Who's eating a hot dog up here? What's going on? That's what I'm talking about. When you see, like, a body just spent and just, and it's just flattened like cartoon-like. And the head is three times its normal size. It sounds like you get off on wheelgirl. And then just a sunburst of those burgundy and orange brain bloods splattered across the dust. And you're like how did this happen? Our Semma is crying right now.

Dude, you made her, but she looks like she's about to cry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is. Listen. You have a wonderful staff here. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about mushing people.

Yeah. Now, you know how to do that whale. And I have to ask this question. You know how to do a whale, I mean, a walrus call. And I feel like you'd only learn how to do a walrus call. if you wanted to lure walrus in. And I feel as a result of if you, the only reason you'd want to lure a walrus in

is so that you could draw a bead on that bad boy with either your harpoon or your Winchester Mag 300 or something even bigger like your 306. Yeah, well, yeah, all right. That's how you would do it. And then when I lure a walrus, I'm sorry, go ahead. Yeah, go on. I was just going to say you like to use a gun.

I use my teeth, but keep going. You use your teeth. I like to hunt the old school way. You know that I was in the Arctic. I do. I was in the Nunavut territory of Canada in the Arctic Circle in I Kaluit shooting a movie that's right now called the Grizzlies. Wonderful movie that you should check out when it comes out. I'll also be playing Mountie Ray Archambol in Super Troopers 2.

And you keep your eyes out for louder. Hey! What's up? Brandon's job! Dude, think. You're here, man. Don't say that. Oh, geez. I was like, get here, get here with this guy.

Lateest Brennan's job has ever been. Well, you're exactly an hour late. That's all right. That's all right, buddy. He was doing his thing. He missed you. He's hit you up. He does secret stuff because I said, where were you? And he said, I was at the laugh factory. I shouldn't some at the laugh factory, man.

Ran over. That's how comedy goes, Brian. Hey, let me give you this just in case. That is how comedy goes. Brennan. What are you guys talking about? Hey, Will, how miserable is this podcast without me? Whoa!

Is it the Brian Talent Show? He's asking a lot of questions that are longer than any answer could be. So, yeah. He was talking about his experience in the Arctic. Please give you your, what's your name again? Brendan, your walrus call. Oh, he was asking me how I would take him out in a room this size. I said to be over quick and I would just give him the steamroller.

Oh, yeah. You know, when you... Like the Brock Lesnar, Heath-Hering, like the Goldberg of wrestling? No, he would answer. Well, you got to, maybe you would throw a spear or just run in there with a football tackle to get him down. But here it wouldn't be necessary. Just reach overhead. And you're on your back.

And then I would just go from his feet and just steamroller him with my body. Like a slug. Like the slug. Oh, no. Like a sushi roll. Just like a tight sushi roll. Yeah. But it's like, you know, when the toothpaste, when you roll it to the top and then just, and his head would explode.

Right. Like a packet of ketchup. But before he did that, he would do this. I would distract him with sound, and I would make a walrus bleat like this. And he would go, and then. Which led us then to my question of, why do you know how to do a walrus bleat that well? And is it because you want to lure them in? And is it because you've hunted walrus?

And I want to get into that for a second, because you were in the Arctic. You did shoot a movie in Nunavit. In the Arctic? Oh, yeah, I shot a movie last year. People live in the Arctic? For real. It was amazing. It was an amazing experience.

and wonderful people, the Inuit people. Hold on, you were shooting with Inuit people? Yes. We were shooting, shot a movie. Is this an independent movie? Yeah, yeah. Okay. It's called the Grizzlies.

Really? Yes. Yeah. No, grizzlies up there, though, right? No, there's no grizzlies, only polar bears. There's a lottery for polar bears. None of it gets 20 polar bears a year. You can hunt.

Really? And they eat them. They eat them. They eat everything. See, here's the thing that what we've done with our First Nations people. I know you guys still call them Indians, which is Native Americans. Horribly racist.

Or Native Americans. Americans. Hey, you were here first Americans. Die, die, disease. Okay, man, take these. Hachoo! They all die. Oh, you see you later. White disease. White disease. White disease. White disease. Oh, cool, Indian. Sorry about that. Oh, dead. All them are dead. Okay. That's actually true. They didn't have the defense. Let's leave Cape Cod for a while and head down to what will be Manhattan. Oh, look. When we come back, they're all dead. Okay. Flush them out into the water.

What's dead? Let's head on down west. But in Canada, we care about our indigenous people. and we understand that when you go into a place like we whites have come here, there's a lot of history and you've got to give them what they need to survive and sustain and continue to grow in their own culture. Like white flour, like booze, fast food, we can talk about that for four days what we've done to make sure that they stay inebriated and there's problems socially. Hey, bro, are you? I'm saying. Hey, don't go full India. Never go full Indian.

Some kind of left. Hey, I know you shot a movie. We're there for two days. They were wonderful. You're not an idiot. We're there for a month and a bit. And, uh, no, I'm not. And then, uh, but these kids were amazing and the people there were incredible.

And they give them 20 polar bears a year and the town of Icaloit, which has around, this is 7,000 people. Yeah. There's 10, 10 contracts for polar bears there. Because you can't just go like, hey, we're going to steal all your land. And, uh, but you guys stay up there. and by the way, we don't like it when you eat polar bears and seals because they're cute. Even though you've been doing half of thousands of years.

Right. That's how they eat. Right. They have to eat. And it doesn't guarantee that they're going to get all those polar bears. Can I tell them? They're banking on those polar bears? No, there's other things. I mean, there's all sorts of stuff.

Did you eat the meat and all that stuff with them? Not only did I, well, I ate some walrus. I refused to eat polar bear. Why? I'll tell you exactly why. Part of what I did for research of doing the movie was, I was, please just don't scoff at this. I won't.

I ran with the polar bear. And in order to climatize myself, my body. Okay, can I? I got to back you up. Okay. Now, I'm sorry that I get a little bit, it's hard for me sometimes to really buy everything you say, and I'm not trying to be a drink.

It's a colorful conversation. When you say you ran with the polar bear, what do you mean by that? Yeah, now choose your words wise here, because I feel like we're going to be on your side here. Yeah, and I like the Indian as much as the next guy. You know, too. First Nations.

Okay, fine. First Nations. But what do you mean by, hold on, let me handle this. What do you mean by, I'm going to ask you to stop drinking like that because if you're doing it to, you're trying to cause a deflection. What do you mean by you ran with a polar bear? What do you think I mean? Sounds like you got up there and you ran with polar bears. It sounds like you saw a polar bear.

I'm not telling it. Listen, here's your homework, listeners, beloved listeners of the fighter and the kid. When you feel the muse after the podcast, head over to YouTube. I just want you to write in polar bear walrus blood and you'll see what I mean There's a video much-bally hood video You've seen it sure have Where the polar bears pulling the gigantic

2,000 pound walrus Up onto the ice And there's a there's a kitty pool Maybe even a doughboy pool Amount of blood That's right Just a tanker of blood in there Yep

I mean Easily 300 gallons of blood You could see it from space Wow it's a lot of blood You can see that amount of blood What's this have to do with you? Well, I saw that video and I said in order to get into my character, Mike, who's a real person, who is, you know, a wonderful guy. Ball Stephen Bowler Bears.

Ball Stephen. He, I needed to run, run with the polar bear. I learned the polar bear's ways. I ate with them. I'm, I made it. I wore a condom. I don't think you made it with them. Yeah.

And they brought me in and they took me in. And I was their, I was their, um, flesh, uh, fleshy human king for a short time. What? I, I have to say. I don't have fur. I don't have fur. You were their fleshy human king. I have to say.

They thought you were a shaved polar bear. They thought I was a shaved polar bear. Because when I get down on, when I get down on all fours, they're like, oh, someone, what the heck happened? blew all the fur off of this big, you know, shiny polar bear. I guess I could see how that would make some sense. That makes sense to me, though. Yeah. Yeah.

So now, okay, great. Polar Bear walked into a windstream or got too close to the airport. Right. So you feel a deep affiliation with polar bears as a result of, quote-unquote, running with the polar bear? Yeah. And I learned a lot about fighting from polar bears. Why didn't you just stay there, though? I do maintain a residence there, and I do go back a lot.

Brendan, you were absent for this part of the podcast, but I've been telling Brian how I've been working closely with the president and that I wrote his speech at the joint address last night. He's, and I have, I have, you know, he calls the White House

a fuck bar and I had to ask him to know. I'm fucking Kelly Conway. So, Kelly and Conway. But, you know,

DJT likes to use Marine One, the helicopter. And he, of course, Air Force One. Yeah. And when he's not

using Marine One, the helicopter, I like to take it. I do have my pilot's license and I head up to Nunavit. And I just, roll with the bears,

as they say. You guys like to roll with, you know, how you do it out here and you do your jihih Tzu and you stay loose and you guys are in incredible shape. I was complimenting him on that fucking video.

It was so fun. Everybody listening is straight fighting video. The fighting video. And fucking, oh, I have a suggestion for you. When you're hitting the fucking focus pads, please, every woman within the sound of my voice, this is what we need you to do and get it to the fighter and the kid. Somebody superimposed Brian's face on the focus pads. That would be the funniest.

Because I was watching, because Britain's like, but, but, but, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap. And I'm like, fuck, you know, the big man moves so fucking fast. He does move fast, right? It's weird how fast he is. And I think everyone would get a big kick out of Brian's smiling mug. Please someone make that. Please someone make that. I need to see that myself.

Yeah. But I like to roll with the polar bear. Okay, you said that. Now, you don't understand this, but Brendan would. You don't understand what I'm about to say. Get your fingers out of my face. Brendan would. Okay.

When you understand, when you're actually in a fight, okay? And that second sense kicks in. And Brendan is, Brendan's so fucking at home with it. Look at them cross-legged, drinking a fucking mocha or something. Yeah. Look, laugh. That taste, the taste of death. When someone hit and do it, you've never been punched.

You've never been punched. Hey, yes, I have. And you're being super disrespectful. And someone cracks your nose and you taste that iron of your. your own blood, something else turns on. What turns on? That's right, man. Wait, guys.

There's a fight or flight. There is a killer be killed instinct that happens. Okay. And nothing will teach you that instinct and put it inside you like a polar bear. I believe it so much. It's a song. Okay. Well, the polar bear has really changed you, man.

I feel like for the better, though. Yeah. I'm fucking feeling good. Now, what are you eating in L.A.? Before you get into that, before you get in that, because we talk a little bit about that, he's a bit of an emotional eater, but before you get in that,

I'll tell you, speaking of eating, he gets caught up in the mic. Will, you're stuck on the mic again. Stuck on the mic, buddy. Stuck on the mic, stuck on. Now, Will, I want you to relay the story, you're stuck again.

Stuck again. You're stuck, buddy. Buddy, calm, don't calm. Get a drop, get a water. I want you to relay the story of Brennan, where there was a very pretty girl who was hungry, and you said, how you doing?

She goes, better now. And she was reaching into a bag. And pulling out raw caribou and eating it the way you would eat sort of popcorn. Like pickled caribou? No, it was raw. It was actually seal meat. Seal meat. Yeah.

Okay. We were up, we were shooting the movie and we were up in the, up in the, you know, just the beautiful hills, the tundra. Is it always night there? No, no, no, no. It's a matter of fact, when we were there, it was always day. Oh, there you go. The sun went down. Yeah, it's very.

Carry on with the caribou. The winter can get very depressing. Yeah, we had some wonderful townspeople, and these girls were these, you know, Great. Girls were going to college here and there all over Canada, and they're all from McAlloweat, and they were helping us out with this scene, and then there was some seal meat in the scene,

and they were getting kind of hungry, and they're supposed to be sitting there, pretending to eat the seal meat in the scene, and as you know, you know, it's like you eat the props, you know, it's all, if you're in a scene here and you're shooting a scene in the Americas, and you have a macaroni and cheese, that's made of macaroni and cheese, you can just eat it.

And I would love to eat macaroni and cheese on camera, because then it would be an excuse to eat macaroni and cheese. Yep, I know, and we're not going to do that, but keep calling. Maybe we could have a podcast about macaroni and cheese. We can do that. Podcasts where I have to taste mac and cheeses. I'm sorry, it's my podcast. Are these attractive girls?

Yeah, they were adorable. They were these younger girls. Yeah, they were cute. Oh, they're young. Oh, they were like in their early 20s and they were just pretty young women. And they were, yeah, yeah, super cute. And they were eating seal meat. And they weren't as adorable.

Now, you liked it, you like, and I don't want to, but you like to fuck. Well, and my question is, did you get? Ask Kellyanne Conway. Did you get any? Hey, those bags aren't under her eyes because she's getting a lot of sleep. All right. Well, we'll. Keeping her up all night.

Oh. Oh, oh. She was a mama. Oh. That's really. Hey, a little Andrew dice clay for the polar pass. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's, yeah. I saw this fucking. fucking I saw this beluga whale and I says to her oh do you want to eat the school of fish and then I fucked I saw this

this gnar wall with the huge unicorn then I said put it up my ass and massage my prostate that's a really good and that's what I did with the polar bears That's really good, dude

This has become a very strange story Thank you for sharing it though And we really appreciate it What else is fucking new Oh hey, I want to say I want to tell your audience to go Head over to YouTube YouTube slash Will Saso TV

And we have a short that I made with yours and my good pal Thank you It's called Follow me I have to be honest That is Is that the one A little bit of genius? The social media?

Yeah. It's hilarious. I fucking love it. I tweeted it out. I tweeted it out. Thanks, man. Yeah. I want that to do.

Enjoy those three retweets you got. Yeah, well, there's that. I tweeted it out. Game over. I tweeted it out. Thank you, Brian. Came over. Like he's Netflix or something.

I got you on that one. You just got a special. It's called Brian's tweet. Retweet. Yeah. It is hilarious. Thanks a lot. Thanks, Lady Gaga.

I'm sure that'll be because you have 20 million people. What do you, what do you find yourself YouTubeing most of the time? Besides polar bears and all sorts of animals up. Well, one thing I like to do is you do anything and you just put YTP in front of it, which means YouTube poop. Have you done this? No, I sure. I'm always down with the kids and what they're what they're doing. I have so much.

YouTube poop. Oh, man. That's so annoying the way you burp like that. YouTube poop. YTP? What's this stand for? YouTube poop. So any version, kids have re-edited everything on the internet.

So if you, if there's any subject you like, for example, last night's joint address, you just put YTP and then joint address. Pretty soon people will have made wacky little videos about that. Ah. And the editing is crazy and it's called YouTube poop. Ah. Anyway. Hey, please YouTube poop, follow me. Go to YouTube.com.

Will Saso TV and a TIG follow me and Marshall Cook's a hell of a director Anyway yeah we made this stupid fucking thing It's funny though It's a lot of fun I really enjoy I wanted to It's a satire It's about a guy and he's got a wife and kids

But he's addicted woefully addicted to all the Social media apps And it's about that and it's something relevant right now That's for sure Trying to make it you know Make something that's like you know Funny but sad and shows sort of the How people are way too into it

No I was telling him earlier it's great because I'm addicted to, I'm still addicted to dough and cheese. So really nothing gets closer to that. Yep. Close to me. Am I addicted to my phone? Yeah, when I don't have my phone with me, I do reach for it. Feel weird, right?

Yeah, it feels weird. I do, yeah, you know, I like to check my Instagram feed. I realized not too long ago that I need to either find out who among my real people in my life are on Instagram and add them to. or just stop looking at Instagram because here's this person and here's that guy and there's this girl that I don't really have a personal thing with or at least not anymore

and it's you're just I'm still peering into your life. Your boy's Stone Cold Steve Austin was on the show yesterday and he was saying how he's asking about Snapchat. He was asking about Snapchat? He's like should I get on Snapchat? Do I need Snapchat? I'm like,

they got all them fucking filters. You can make your face look like a little fucking girl with the shiny fucking diamonds and shit. Hell, you could even have a fucking clown face or a fucking dog with where your tongue comes out.

If y'all want to see Stone Gold Steve Austin as a dog, a cute dog with his tongue flapping out. Give me a hell yeah. What? A hell yeah. Brian, don't do that while I'm doing an impersonation.

Sorry, buddy. I'm sorry. You always want to try out every impersonation. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing a little bit of a bit. We like to... Oh, fuck. It's not bad. Hey, that's what...

Bit killer. Yeah, bit killer. You've been... I'm Steve Cold... Stone Cold Steve Colbert. Stone... Steve Colbert. I'm Steve Cold is ice.

Dude, that's not bad. That's not bad. That is pretty good. You know what we do on 10-minute podcast is I'll do an impersonation. And then Tommy just doesn't want to hear it. So he just goes, I'm shitty so-and-so. So he does shitty Hulk Hogan and shitty... It doesn't sound like him at all.

It's fucking fantastic. It's actually my favorite thing. He's like, oh yeah, me too, I'm fucking. And then it's like two people. And then Chad doesn't get to talk and it's fine. But yeah, don't ever, do you want to do some impersonations with me? Yeah, I do. Would you like to?

Yes. Okay. Let's play a little game. Brendan, you give me an impersonation. Maybe something you've never heard me do before. Maybe something that I can't do. And then I'll do it. And then you do the shitty version.

And I'm, I'm pretty good. Man, that's tough. You know what? I mean, you've done it, but I'd like to compare the two. Okay. I'd like just Trump. Let's start easy. Let's start easy with Trump.

You're already making the face because you don't know what you're doing. Yes. Don't fucking. Like he's about to drink. Don't judge my fucking. Well, that, me, just so I'm not biased, me, Chin, and Agent A will vote. Super. I love it.

Okay. Here's a little bit. We're going to just do something. A little simple saying. Yeah. Okay. Let's paint a scenario. Let's pretend we're in the Oval Office.

Yeah. We're just having a little fun. Donald Trump. let's say he's watching me and Kellyanne Conway. He would say, yeah, bend her over and fuck her hard, Will. Now you say it. I'm not going to say something that.

Why not? Because, and I really mean this, it's cheating. That's actually not bad. And it's mean. It's not bad. That's actually pretty good. Yeah. I have nothing to do with Russia.

Russia. You got to put a little rasping. I have nothing to do with Russia. Russia. Say China. I have no. Whisper China. China.

No, whisper it. China, China, China, China. But make it proudly. China, China, China, China. China. That's pretty good. It's not bad. That's really good.

I'm a brilliant mimic. Keep going. What else? What else? You know another one? Hi, I'm Ray Romano. Oh, that's my... Oh, wow.

I've never done. That's terrible, Brian. Oh, ha. We don't need to vote on that. It's a super relevant. It's a relevant impersonation that kids need to hear. Oh, yeah. I'm Ray Romano.

My brother's... Hi, I'm a honey. Well, we found lines range. My brother's tall. My brother's tall. My wife tells me what to do, and my parents are here. It's been a long time since I've never tried this. That's terrible, B.

No, it's not bad. It's so bad. Hold on. Can you do Cremant the Frog? It's similar at the same range. Why are there so many? There's more many. John Denver, yay!

Yeah. Say, John Denver, yay! John Denver, yay! And now Linda Romsstad. Yay! And now Linda Ronstadt. Yay. Oh, fuck.

That's fucking sad. It's so sad for me to do. That's when you know you're getting... I'm Kermit D. Frog. I am Kermit D. Yeah. I am. I am Kermit D. Frog.

I didn't grow up with these guys. You didn't grow up? Why? You know, you study, Ray. You study, Ray. Well, let me give you this. Clint Eastwood. Oh.

Let him go first. I'm not doing no Clint Eastwood. You can. I think he... Yeah. Dian. Dian ain't much of a living boy. Yeah. Dian. Dian. Dian ain't much of a living. All right. This one's not going to worry. Give me your best Russian. We'll end on this.

Give me your best Russian. Russian? Russian. I would like to do John Malkovich in Rounders. Oh, one of my favorite movies. All day he chick, chick, chick, pay him. Pied that man his money. That's pretty fucking good. I would like to do just Russian, but I have to think about. What kind of Russia? Oh, very good. Give me a Siberian, KGB operative, deep, just in a snow cover in Siberia.

You are here not for walrus, but because you are enemy of the state. I sound like Dracula. Because I was pretending to be Dracula, but in fact, I'm from Russia. You must die because Vladimir Putin is asking me too. It's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah, I'm very good. Impressions are stupid.

I like Dracula I've always liked I've always wanted to be I've always wanted to say this and I don't know how to do it but when the wolves howl we're going to howl and I want you to say ah the children of the night

what sweet music they make and I want you to do it as Dracula as Dracula and I'd like you to be involved in this too that way I'm howling well you'll howl and if you want to do Dracula and try your hand of Dracula you can as well let me hear it so

um oh beautiful And then you say Ah, the sweet children of the night What's the second part? What sweet music? What sweet music they play, right?

They make. They make. Yeah, but do it with a little more relish. Ah, the sweet children are the night? The children of the night. What's sweet music they make? Ah, the children. What do I sound like that?

All right, let me try. Ah, the children of the night. What sweet music they make. It's a little. It's a little Arnold, though, huh? Yeah. Come on, do it. Come on, kid.

Arnold has Dracula is very good. This is my biggest throw to date. Arnold Schwarzenegger's Dracula. Well, let's cut to a clip. Let's cut to a clip. Oh, yeah, you guys have a clip of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Dracula, right? Yeah, this is awesome. Oh, wow.

You got to tell us about working with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Arnold Schwarzenegger's Dracula. It must have been amazing. It was really amazing. You were the wolf, right? Yeah, it was the wolf. And then you have that scene where you guys communicate and he says... And, you know, I got to say he did a great job. He was scary, and I believe that he drank.

believable. He was believable. He's a very disciplined actor. So why don't we cut to a clip? Let's cut to a clip. Here we are. Here's a clip of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Arnold Schwarzenegger's Dracula. Oh! The sweet children of the night. Yeah. What sweet music that they make.

Yeah. I'm Dracula. And we're back. Wow. That was really good. It's so much range. Yeah. This is most like just out of the box. Dude, you're like half. wardrobe and half, like, was that like that Andy Circus CGI shit? Yes. And by the way, you look amazing. How about this? We found a clip of Donald Trump back in 1987 when he wanted to be an actor.

I don't know if you ever saw that where he played Dracula. That's right. He was in that. He was in Donald Trump's drag. And we have a clip where the guy says, would you like some wine? And Donald has Dracula said, no, I never, I never drink wine. And it's really. Oh, okay. Let's have a look at that. So why don't we cut to that clip? That's all he says, though. Count, would you like some wine? No, I never drink wine. Oh. And there are quite...

Wow. Not the best, though. Not the best. Not as scary as it is. No, it's not a scary as arm. I feel like Donald didn't commit to the role. Now, you guys also have a clip of... Is this true?

Hulk Hogan? What he did? The WW... Yeah, it's like Expendbles 9. Yeah. Where he plays Dracula. He plays Dracula. It was like right in between

No Holds Barred and Suburb. And this is him reacting to the wolves again. And what was the line that he... Well, it was, ah, the children of the night. Yeah. What sweet music they make. I can't wait to get my hands on them. Oh, okay.

That's right. I forgot that. Yeah. Okay. So, uh, one of the cut to the clip. Yeah. Yeah, brother. Yeah, dude.

It was a wolf, brother. Oh, the children of the night. Dude. What sweet music they make, brother. Yeah. Dude. Oh. Yeah.

brother. Would you like some wine count? No, dude. I never drink wine, brother. And milk is for babies, awful, Alfred. You got to drink beer, dude. Or unless you're making a protein shake, brother, crack a few eggs in there, awful, Alfred. And then you could drink it back.

We put a banana in there. We put this special green powder, dude. And then... Any blood? And then the blood. I want to drink your protein blood. All right, we're back. Wow.

That was amazing. God. I never saw that movie. Yeah, he's really reaching the... Thanks, buddy. Thanks, that was really amazing. Let's have a look at this clip. Oh, the children of the night.

What sweet music they make. I forgot about Ray Romano playing Dracula. My wolf brother is very tall. And my wolf parents are here. And my wolf wife wants to go to the ballet, but I want to watch football. Really good. Wow.

Man, Ray Romano and Holcomb, playing... Really relevant impersonations, too, that all the youngsters... Yeah. Ray Ramon. Oh, Kogan. Why don't we go into some fight talk?

I say do it. I say, really? We have these fights coming up. Yep. I say this a moosh booze appetizer of just sort of hanging out with pals is over. Yeah, I was having fun with Will. Listen, I don't mind. I don't, we do not have to get any of the fight talk right now.

Yeah, I'm liking this. Are you excited for WrestleMania, Will? Oh, am I fucking excited for WrestleMania? Does Kelly Ann Conway sit in my face and bleed my bank account drive via my amex black she apparently sits on his face and she buys things on her phone

online while she sits on my face we found out that it's not actually his money it's the American taxpayer's taxpayer money and I think that's pretty unpatriotic this is all I missed yeah like I think Kelly and Conway's hot but you know not bad so hot she's so hot I don't care who hears me you're obsessed with her I love that

that dirty that fucking you like that hair yeah the hair will you bring her up for me chin oh she's just it's just like you know I Again, and I'm not trying to sound brash, but that fresh, fucked look with that, and she's got the... How old is she? She's 50 something, 51, 52? Come on.

She, I'll be honest with you. She looks a little bit like she's had some alcohol in her life. Yeah, that... Am I right? See, that's her... It looks like she sucked on a few bottles, yeah. Yeah. I like the ones where one of her eyes is higher and smaller than the other one.

Well, yeah. I mean, she's, she is attractive in her own way. She looks like David Letterman. She looks like David Letterman with a wig on. Yeah. I'm not going to... No, but she has. She's in shape.

The children of the night. He-he-he. What sweet music that they make, Paul. Oh, ho! Coming up, we've got Charles Broden. It's hard to be a woman because everybody makes fun of the way you look. Isabella Rossellini. He-he.

There are a lot of black people in the Oval Office of what's going on there. That's, and you know, we were talking about the left from right, earlier, Brendan, that you have to pay attention to both sides. And I will say this is hilarious because people on the, you know, the people covering the news on the left, I won't, you know, people that are just sort of doing, you know, fluffy weird stuff, we're talking about how Kelly Ann Conway's got her feet on the couch. And that's the part that they were taking issue with. Yeah. And everyone on the right was like, shut up. But the real thing that I don't know why they won't say it, she just looks, it's just a funny visual.

Can we just say it's a funny visual? A little too relaxed for me. Yeah, it's Black History Month, and there's a lot of African-American, you know, dignitaries. I'm not even sure what the purpose of this was. And she could give two fucks it looks like. It just looks funny. It's just, it's okay. We're all Americans.

It's okay to say it looks funny that a white woman's just sitting on the couch tweeting or doing something while everyone else is standing around with the president. What a weird way to sit on the council with your knees in a dress? It was probably a moment where she was looking down to. That's the way she chills at my house when she's just, we're in between. All right. Well, yeah, she's But for real, oh, how about that one on the, oh, sorry, it's okay, scroll up a little bit.

Scroll up a little bit, okay, right there, you're on it. Oh, this one? Yeah, look at her putting her hair back and, you know, tell me she's not stunning. Well. Come on. Ah, she's stunning. She's sexy. Yeah, bro.

I can see you guys working. She's intelligent. Keep that up for a second. Speaking of Snapchat, follow me on Snapchat, everybody. Okay, wait, okay. I can see why you take her will. Yeah, tell me she's not stunning. Right?

Kelly and Conway. Stone Cold stunner. Yeah, she's stunning. Okay, well. She looks like she might be married, bro. Oh, my God, she is. She didn't tell me this. I'm sorry you have to find out like this.

She's going to beat the shit out of you. Yeah, he's going to fuck you up, man. What the fuck is this? Can you look up her husband? Can we see what he's working with? We got to get you ready now. Speaking of husbands, I told you this. Katie Mixon, the actress.

That guy's going to fuck Will up. Look at him. Oh, yeah. Look at that guy. That's Steve Perry from Journey. Let's be gentle here. She's a mother. Look, that's Steve Perry from Journey. And now I come to you. That's not what I'm... That's not who I pictured being married to her. Yeah.

Just a small town girl. She's in shape. Living it. That's Steve Perry. Are you nervous at all well if he cut you on the streets? He looks like he's got some similarly built calves. I like how his tit chub is underneath his being pushed up by that little book he's got. He's tucking the side of his blue shirt into just the corner of his pants a la Wayne Gretzky, which tells me he's an athlete.

He's got a proud neck. Not the strongest jaw, probably. Not the strongest jaw, but it is covered by a little bit of blubber. I can respect that. You know, his shoulders look all right. I'm sure he'd give me a run for my money, but I'll give him the steamroller. You'd give him the old one-two slug. Connoy's got nice legs.

Speaking, yeah, she does. Speaking of husbands beating the shit out of people. Katie Mix and the actress, who has been in, he's bound and down, Mike and Molly, she now is starring in her own show. I'll call the American Housewife on ABC, your network. Yep. And she loves you guys. I just did a week on the show. Oh, that's right.

Did I tell you this? No. You told him. You told me that. Her and her husband, Bro Greer, who is a, who is a Olympian, an Olympian javelin thrower. Hey man. It's a world record. Let him get it.

No, we've talked about it. It's all right. We talked about it. And could kick your fucking head in. Don't put your finger like that. He'd kick your fucking head. He looks like, you know, when you take the, you never seen the Ron Popeil vacuum packs. Yeah.

Where they take the thing and take the meat or like the blankets and shit and they take all the air out of it. That's what he looks like when you put me in that. Yeah, he's me, but just vacuum-packed. Let me see him. What's he do now? Bro Greer. Because how long ago did you throw javelin? Like, B-R-E-A-U-X?

You can see he's an athlete. There it is, bro, bro, Breer. You can see he's a, he's a big athlete. Yeah, let's get some images there. Yeah. Good looking, dude. Yeah, he's a handsome son. But he's, he's, he's, is he American?

A little thicker now. Oh, yeah. Strong jaw. Look at that guy. Roll that, there you go. Dude, he's a dime piece. He's a giant piece. Similar here.

Yeah, I want no part of that guy. Strong jaw. So they're both big fans of the show, and she was going on about it. And they're both huge fight fans. I love it. And fans of both of yours. Love it. And she can talk round and around.

She's, you know, I'm a casual U.S.C. You have to have her on. And not just because she'd be a wonderful guest, but because bro personally told me, he'll kick the fuck out of Brian if you don't have. Hey. I'm just saying, he's a great dude. They're a wonderful couple. and maybe we'll all end up hanging out. We should go hang sometime.

They're hilarious, wonderful people. But before that, you need to put her somewhere in the books, or else, bro, kick your fucking head in if you don't have it. But my hands and feet. I don't see that happen. I'm going to book her, man. Look, you guys got some different fight styles for sure. I know I'm cruising at about 206 right now. But bro's probably, 2006?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Bro's, I would say. You wear 206 well, Will. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, man. Thank you. I feel you lying by 100 pounds.

I feel you're lying by 100 pounds. I'm one. I'm a pound of... What? I feel you're lying by 100 pounds. Okay, man. That's not cool. I'm not lying by 100 pounds.

I just feel you're lying by 100 pounds. I'm 206. I'm a heavy weight. I'm a big guy. I'm 206. Why can't you be positive? I feel like you wears 206 well. You know, I'm having got a little bit of a salt imbalance problem right now

coupled with possibly a thyroid condition. And, you know, I'm a little bit of a heavier guy. but I am sort of I enjoy savory foods and I know I might be a little, a little, a little, a little bigger than I normally am. Yeah. I got to get down for the summer. I got to get, you know, I got to, I,

there's a couple places I wanted to go on to get, check out, I know you like Bora Bora. Yeah. I want to take Calli Ann there. I don't know about the Steve Perry bullshit, but I'm about 206 right now, but I will say, bro. I'm only about 30 pounds heavier than you, bro.

Yeah. That's interesting, yeah. Brinand looks way thicker around the midsection than me. You got to give me that. I can't. Brendan looks way thicker. I feel like you carry 206. six better than I can't give that to you.

I feel like you're lying by overhound. We've all played beach volleyball before. You got to admit I look a little thinner around the midsection than Brendan. I don't have to admit that. I'm not going to. He agrees? Nope, you're being. I'm about 206.

I know the bro, we were talking about nutrition. He said he's 3% body fat, which I think is interesting because he's 2197 pounds. So he's 6.3, 297 and 3% body fat. So I know you can spin kick the fuck out of a boxing bob. And your face. And your head. I don't know about that. I know that we got some footage coming of Brendan hitting your face with the focus pads.

I know we're going to see that. We're going to see your face as a target with the... Hababababab. Habab. Like, 300 shots in one minute video. You like that. Jurt off to it.

I'm not mad at that. Can you ask Bo if he does kill Brian if he'll be made his replacement, though? Oh, that's the fighter and the javelin. The fighter in the javlin. The fighter in the Olympian. The fighter in the Olympian. With the hot wife. Yeah, with the hot.

No disrespect, Bill. Don't kill him. Hey, guys. And I love doing something. Down and down. Does he, hey, let me ask you question. Does it Bo? Bro.

Is he Trey? Is it bro? Bro. B-R-E-A-U-S-B-R-E-A-U-S. His fucking name is bro. His name is actually bro. That's so cool. Where's he from?

I don't know. Probably somewhere in that northern. I think they're both from the south. What were those highlights? Yeah, I don't. He had highlights in that. He does not the best pictures, chin. Pull up when he was playing when he was javelining.

Like, like, scroll down. I think, yeah, there's a while. Now, he looks like a... Does it say Russia or USA? Oh, wait, go to that one... Well, that says USA. One bit lower. A little bit lower.

He's a big boy. Yeah, to the right. No, no, no. There, that one. Look at this shit. What is that? American gladiators? Yes.

He was an American gladiator? This guy gets fooled by the minute. Oh, Brian, you're screwed. Those guys are real tough guys. Those are the real tough guys. That's American gladiator? That's a big Viking. I love American gladiators.

Brian, you're done. He was an American gladiator. Yay! Come the fuck down He's gonna be super pissed at me like Hey American Gladden Do you remember American Gladder? Remember they had Like the big guys who would shoot the

Fucking balls and stuff? That was incredible Were they W.W.E guys or were they just do like regular dudes? They were like Good Luckin Pass Slash Like some big black assinglet. They were dudes like bro And I'll tell you what I was like Oh you gotta have Katie on the show. She's hilarious, sweet

And loves the MMA. And now we're just like brushing all over. Bro. What's just Bro's deal. I know, I know. But look at his quote. He goes, dude, I throw a stick. Come on. I get paid a pretty good salary to throw a stick.

Dude, I throw a stick. That's great. Come on. I get paid a pretty good salary to throw a stick. He's from Houston, Texas. Yeah. He's 6-3-220. I want no part of an Olympian that big.

That's too much to deal with. He's a thick guy. He's a real athlete. He's a real athlete. I mean, he's twice the size of me at 297. Okay. I'm about 160, 162. What?

Well, you know, after weigh-ins, I'm around 162. No. But right before. You're having a breakdown. How do they fucking pod? I'm 206. I'm walking at 206. No, I know.

You walk at a clean 206 and you cut to 60? I go to, no, I cut to like 168. I feel like you're exaggerating by 150. See, I can buy the 20s. How much? No, I don't mean to be a dick. But I think right now, if you were to say, I think you're exaggerating by 100 infinity.

That's a lot of weight. I just feel like he's exaggerating by No. Basically, another Kabib Nurgamato. Like another human? Yeah, like a whole other. That's really good.

Like a middleweight fighter. I don't look 167 when I walked in here. I feel like, 150 pounds you think I'm? From 206, you'd have to add Khabib onto your body. A peep? What?

Kabib Nogamatoffing. He's a 155 pound fighter. From 206. I feel like, I think there are 3651 pounds? Can I just say something for myself? I feel like I'm being attacked and I just want to say this out loud. I'm sorry, Will.

It's all right, Brendan. I bought the 206, you know? Thank you. I want to say that my weight can fluctuate. I'm sort of like an athletic Luther Vandross, God rest of soul, in that vein. I do go up and now. You know me. I've struggled.

Yeah. And I have been as heavy as 830 pounds. Oh, wow. But you wouldn't, I would look to again. Exactly the same at 830. Yeah. And I do now. And that's what we're talking about.

Here's a question. My midsection is a little bit thinner than Brendan's. Always has been, regardless of what weight I am. Okay. Right now I'm 2006. Here's a question. But I could suck down to 168. Here's a question.

And fucking throw a stick, as bro says, without the stick of my hand. What's the most you've ever eaten? In one sitting, what's the most you've ever eaten? Was most I've ever eaten? Yeah. It was a Chinese restaurant. It was in Calewitt. Yeah.

When I was up there and I had a couple of polar bears with me. Yeah. And we went into the Chinese. There's one Chinese restaurant. I'm going to ask you a real question. How much is the most you've ever eaten? I had to keep up with the polar bears and I was hungry. You fucking tell me how much the most you've ever eaten this.

Really? Okay. So we... How many Big Macs have you eaten, do you think? Have you ever tried one of those contents? You want me to tell you a story about Big Macs? This is true. Okay.

So, I don't drink anymore. Not that I ever had a problem with it. No. No, actually, you know me. Yep. I would either get good and pissed or, like, not drink for months. Like, oh, I don't care. Oh, now I want to get drunk with my pals.

So alcohol, I never really, you know, was good at drinking, I don't think. I was a happy drunk. It's not your thing, yeah. It was just not my thing. I enjoy good scotch and good tequila. I haven't had it in around five years. But back in the day, I was at a thing. I was at this comedy event in Canada.

And I was with my good buddy, Timmy O'Hallorin. whom I've known for many years. And we read this thing in London, Ontario. And we got really drunk. The night, the big bash at the end of this Canadian comedy awards festival thing. And then we had to drive. They gave Timio a Canadian tire van with nothing in the back, just two seats up front and no heat. And we drove from London to Toronto, I think, because we missed our sedan or something.

It was pretty great. So here's me and Timio, and I'm very hungover. And we went to the McDonald's. He goes, you want some McDonald's? I was like, yes. And it was like 4 p.m. like I finally staggered out of that room before. And we went up and he goes, and it's, I remember McDonald's, what would you like to order?

I was like, give me a, just give me a number four with a supersized it with a Diet Coke. So like some like quarter pounder meal or something like thing. And he goes, okay, so number four with Coke, Diet Coke, and I'll take, give me a number three with Sprite. And then I go, okay. And then give me a big Mac too. Okay, and a Big Mac and two cheeseburgers and two cheeseburgers. Flai fish. Do you want a flay a fish?

No, I don't want a flay a fish. Two filet of fish. Two flay of fish. Would you have some nuggets if I, I don't want nuggets? Would you have some, though, if I order them? No. You won't have even one because I want nuggets. Get nuggets then.

You want six nuggets? No, do you want some? I don't want any. If I get 20 nuggets, will you eat some nuggets? Will, don't get 20 nuggets. I'm paying. I want 20 nuggets. If you, do you have some?

I will not have one. I will not have a chicken McNugget. I'll just get you 10. 10 chick, 20 chicken, 10, just 20 chicken McNuggets. Fine, 20 chicken McNuggets. And it went on like that to where he was like giggling. Like, just order the fucking menu. Just get one of everything.

Yeah, and an apple pie and a blueberry pie and a hot fudge Sunday, no nuts. That's it. And it was fucking hilarious. And so I ate all that. And then, did you feel sick as fuck? Yeah. And then we pulled up. over down the freeway. I don't know what

beautiful Canadian freeway that was. And I pissed and then puked all over the side of it. Dude, I'm not in the, I can't one up that at all. Yeah, I peeped and I've been on a strict diet. Get ready for this one man show tomorrow night, like strict diet. And then there's a commercial for those

KFC golden chicken tenders. Have you seen it? They're like, Georgia golden chicken tenders. And I was like, God damn they look good. That was like two weeks ago. A couple days go by, I see it again. I'm like, fuck I would love some of those right now yeah yeah then late at night I had my weed pen and I see that commercial I'm like well I haven't cheated in a while

fuck it and there's that app that the deliver it to your house oh postmates postmates or there's like one of those I get on dangerous and I'm like well it was either six or 15 I'm like well six can I waste the time I might as we'll do 15 because I'll save some for tomorrow later yeah you'll save so I order 15 of them the golden fucking tenders They come about, I don't know, an hour later. I'm so time, like, why did I order these? And I open them up, and I'm like, God damn, they look good. And I started eating one.

And remember, I haven't junk food in a while. I eat one and it tastes like heaven. Like, see, I know I ate all 15 men. Nice. Eat all 15. I pass out. I wake up at two in the morning. I'm like, oh, my God.

And, dude, my mouth is salving. I'm about to throw up. Oh, shit. I go in the bathroom and just fucking. Kjoo! That's amazing. Everywhere. Everywhere.

By the way. My body was like, you know. They were so delicious. My mouth was watering right now. They were so good. Yeah. These Georgia golden southern chicken tendency. Oh, man.

That sounds amazing. By the way, part of the reason that you puked is because that chicken is from those 15 pieces of chicken are from as close as northern California and Sacramento perhaps. As far away as Beijing. Literally Beijing. Yeah. Yeah. And. and flesh labs across.

You know what did it for me on chicken labs? Yeah, flesh labs. Well, you know, a lot of people, this is another thing I shouldn't be sharing with you. It's some deep cover, some dark shit. Deep state stuff. Yeah, some stuff I've learned since I've been hanging out with Trump. Were you your knowledge, bro?

Most of the chicken that you eat is created in a lab. Flesh labs. I did not know that. I thought we were a long way off from that. Oh, yeah, yeah, flesh labs. Things can taste just like chicken. I heard it's expensive, though, to do that. Huh?

Super expensive. I heard it's really expensive. That's why I spent so much on those chicken. This hand is from a flesh lab. I cut this off by accident. Two, three weeks ago. That looks pretty fucking real. Cut my hand right off.

How does it look? Can you see a scar? No, it's impressive. Flesh labs. Yeah, all right. Hey, you know what does it for me where I won't order chicken tent anymore? My brother goes, yeah, those chicken, he used to love them, was chicken making nuggets. He goes, they remind me of snot deep fried.

I'm like, well, that did it. That'll ruin it for you. That did it. People can say one thing, and it'll feel. fuck you up. They'll describe something in a certain way and you go, oh, I can't do that. Unless I'm hungry enough. Why don't you tell them let's deep fry some snot and

see what you think of it? It makes feel sick. Let's get into some current events? Yeah. It's so funny you guys mentioned chicken too. Can I get a prediction from about the... After this, brother, let's do it like, we'll do current events and then do you fight time. I don't know. We did it that way.

Well, we can if you want to get into it. You want to do the chicken one first? We'll just do the chicken. second one. So Subway, there's a study that a Canadian television program did, and it said that Subway's chickens, after the DNA test they did, was 50% actual chicken. Wow. The rest is like filler. What? Yeah. Do they know what it is? Flesh labs. What? The rest is like, you know what's hilarious? It's so, it's hilarious to me that Subway is convinced people because of Jared's molesting child ass convinced people they lost all this weight by eating an entire loaf of bread. A foot long is healthy. And people are like, oh, I'm going to subway. It's fucking healthy. No, it's not.

Wow. I'll never forget that part in the, was it the Michael Moore documentary where he's talking to the bigger girl. God bless her at the, you know, this girl in junior high who's, you know, large. And she's like, I just, I don't want to lose weight, but I can't. And she's like, I wish I had money to eat at subway every day. God, damn, man. And this piece of shit.

It's heartbreaking. Now we know, he's not only swerving her going, yeah, I know. hard and you know you gotta eat subway but he's also net we now know looking at her 14 year old ass going take a piece of that too i know yeah it's terrible piece of shit piece of shit yeah a lot of it's soy a lot of the filler is soy oh wow and that'll put some tits on a dude and shrink his dick and correct so you don't want to stay away from that soil that's why i eat walrus meat all right it's technically seafood i'm pescatarian right now oh wow i'm sure it's gonna work out yeah it'll be fine next next event god that's nasty

Oh, kind of nasty. So a family was out in the beach in Australia, and they're playing fetch with their dog. And they threw the stick into the... Oh, no. Where the waves were, and a shark took the dog. Oh, my God. So Australia? Yeah.

In the night? That's a way to go. They didn't say night. I'm sure it was just regular... I've wondered about this. I've always wondered how this doesn't happen more often, actually. But there aren't a lot of dogs on beaches, but... Yeah, you're right.

It's also super shallow. Bull shark. It's also shallow. You have that run in your stand-up, Brian, about this exact thing where your sister's like, you know, the whole thing of it's rare with the sharks and shit, and you're safe on the shore. Now proven by the fact that all you have to do is throw a stick into the white waves. That's right. That's right. It just took it.

It said they threw it in and they just took it under water. It probably looked like a seal. The bull shark was like that. You're in my area. I want to eat. It just fucking hungry. They try to attack it with a stick. Oh, that doesn't work every time.

That works every time. You know how that worked out for you. They should have had Bro. Wow. It would have fucking stuck that in the stick. Yeah, he would have pierced that. It was very quick, took her underwater. It's a shark stakes.

It's 11 foot long shark. It's better to the dog, though, than the kid or something like that. I remember that little boy at Disney World? All life is valuable, Brendan. And that's just the sort of attitude that we don't need nowadays. Two-term job. What the fuck? Fuck?

What? Hey, wait. What the fuck? All right, that's wild. Damn. That sucks. Damn. Doggy.

Bring the boat. Bring the stick back out. What else you got, Chin? Did you hear the Amar Stademeyer interview? Amar Stademeyer? No what you say. So there was a television station interviewing him because I guess he's in Jerusalem now in a premier basketball league.

Sounds like things are going well. And then the lady was asking all these different players, you know, would you care if you had a gay player on the team? And then everyone's like, no, no, no, everyone said no, they don't mind. And then he ended up saying, I would shower across the street. I would make sure I wouldn't take the same way back to the game or whatever. No, he's an idiot. Yeah.

Yeah, like the gay people. And I guarantee he's played with gay teammates. They didn't know about whether it was that. I think he played at Arizona. I can't remember to play college ball. But, or the sons, the Knicks, guarantee there's some gay guy in locker. They're not zombies. They're not like constantly looking to suck your dick.

It's not, for sure, for sure, grow up. Yeah, he was fine, $50,000 after tweeting a gay slur at another user during the 2012. Yeah, so he had a history of sort of homophobia. So it's good to see that, yeah, at least, but at least he's consistent. And at least we know that in 2017, he still got his opinion. And you got to respect a man with an opinion. Hey, how fake is it? Hey, how fake is he keeps saying this thing?

Then he tweets out. This way you can't tweet out this kind of stuff. Like, people can smell the bullshit. I'm a huge support of civil rights for all people. I'm disappointed myself for the statement to a fan. I should have known better. There's no excuse. It's just like, who wrote that for you?

He didn't write that. Do you think that 50,000 dollars is excessive? For a guy like that at that time, no. That was for the first one he did. Do you guys have know what the slur was? Because I don't think I even saw it. I bet he used the F word. Probably, yeah.

I had a fan. Can't have that. Because remember, it's the NBA. He's a product of the NBA. employer then you just can't have that. It's also a moron. You know who wrote that apology? Probably a gay publicist. That's true. A very good chance.

That's very funny. Like an own comfortable gay publicist who's like, I hate this motherfucker. I hate my job. Guess what I had to do today at work. I had to write a fucking apology for fucking Amari Stademeyer, who is a huge homophob. Or he's not and he's used to

it and you know. And I had to write, I had to write a fucking apology for that motherfucker. I hate I got to get the hell out of here. I want to be an agent. Can you get me into the mail room at CAA? See, that's just, I'm going to shower across the street, make sure I change the clothes around the corner.

Yeah, it's a, it's a kind of a clumsy joke. The lady asked, like, was that a joke? And he said right there, I mean, there's always truth within a joke. That's the last thing you said in the interview. Oh, cool. I think he's an idiot. I wouldn't give him a pass, B. Because he's stupid?

No, no, I think he really thinks this way. But you know why I don't say that stuff? You know why I don't even say that stuff is wait for a very simple reason. I just don't want to hurt anybody's feelings and I don't think that's a bad thing That's nice I mean literally like You know I'm sure yeah

How many gay kids and people Especially my generation When you were gay my generation You were crucified You were fuck It was an acceptable prejudice You're well read and you know You come along with society

That's not an excuse No I'm not saying excuse What I'm saying is that What I'm trying to say is that When you're gay You know you grow up with so much of that It's when I'm saying my generation is just constant. And then like the last thing you kind of need is and another insult.

It's like. Oh, I thought you're defending my son of my. No, no. It's like, oh, that's what I'm saying. Don't give him a path to know. No, man. The truth is being gay from my generation. I always say this from my generation had way, it wasn't just words.

You could get the shit kicked out of you. You could get killed. And it happened all the fucking time. But it's still happening. It's still happening. It is. But in my generation, it wasn't even really that condemned. It wasn't even really.

You used, you used words like faggot, fag. You used all kinds of words all the time. That's still going on, B, though. It is. It is. But I have rights, but like, read any YouTube come or anything you wear, you'll see the word fag. Yeah. It's more prevalent online.

If you're online, that culture, people think everything's all good. Yeah, exactly. Like being gay is a rough life, man. That's why I love people. They go, it's their choice. I'm like, oh, who would choose to go through that, to walk through that fucking fireman? Yeah, to be treated that way all the time and violently. It's still rough for them.

Yeah, back in the day everybody would, like everyone in the schoolyard would just say, yeah. They'll be gay. When Will and Grace came out, I remember reading that pilot. And I was like, holy shit, this is, and it was so funny. And I know those guys, you know those guys, great. And who created it. But it was such a groundbreaking show because it was so funny. And I remember thinking, wow, we've come a long way

That we can talk this way And we have fucking characters that are gay on TV Although there's characters before that Not really the way Ernie and Bert Burton and Ernie, good one Bert and Ernie were gay as shit They slept together

They're always together Klinger from MASH Klinger wasn't though Klinger dressed up like a woman So what's the fucking difference He would dress up like a woman Never was gay He would dress like a woman

So he would think So he wanted them to think he was crazy So he'd get a man All right. I didn't really watch. I didn't really watch, I think they got rid of them, or they're like, they're in separate houses now. Wow. But growing up, Ernie and Burke, they went to bed together. Goodnight Burke. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. How is they shower together? Yes. They were in the bath together. Wow. Yeah. But that's the thing. It's like gay creatives had used to find sort of their means to put the message in there. I remember at Mad TV and we had, you know, we had a great, you know, sort of eclectic group of writers. And one of our gay writers was one of our writers who's gay. Yeah. I shouldn't say one of our gay writers.

One of our gay-ass writers was... Yeah, Scott. Yeah. Scott King. Who's who's... Who I did his first show in New York. I love... Really?

Yes. Oh, he's so fucking funny. In fact, I'm the one who took... But it doesn't matter about... He does that show now. He created that show... I'm the one of the facts about Scott. I took his stuff to them.

Are you serious? He's so fucking funny, Scott... Yeah, we don't know these guys. Like, I remember there was this one sketch where... And it was just, you know, because we went after everybody. and again, the writing staff and the actors that was very eclectic, of course, with regard to all manner of persuasion,

race, sexual, and otherwise. And there was a sketch where it was a TRL, like Total Request Live, MTV. And so there's Pat Kilbane as Carson Daly. And just remember back when that was popular in the early 2000s, and it was like, just the screaming 16-year-old girls. And it's like, hey, what's up?

I'm Carson Daly. Tonight, you know, it's going to be, fucking, you know, Shigeret 1-182, Britney Spears. And so, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, hang, and the girls are going crazy. And he goes, and I'm Carson Daly.

And all the girls go quiet. And a fat 12-year-old boy stands up and goes, yay! And then looks around all self-conscious. And I just remember like a tiny, because I love those tiny weird moments. But that make you think. Scott right that?

I'm pretty sure. Like, it's just like put that in there. Like, this is what I would have changed for. Scott was my generation. Scott was never, ever, even in high school. And he grew up, I think it was in Jersey, Tenafly. Scott had long blonde hair. He was explaining to the people who this guy is.

I'm sorry. He was an executive producer of Matt TV. Scott King. He's a brilliant writer. He was a guy who was a brilliant writer who didn't give a fuck. He was just like, I'm gay. And this is it. Yeah, he was one of those guys who just told him.

But anyway, moving on. I used to do a thing to Scott that you used to do to Mary and Nicole. where he he he he like and it's completely by coincidence this is why we're friends because brian and i would do not overlap on mad tv but you used to just go up to mary and Nicole and go 10 nine yeah and they go no Brian no no no no and they'd run down the hall and he chased after they had to get to their dressing room and lock the door or i would have to pull their collarbones out he would get on top of them and try to and just let me pull you and they would literally fall down in a clump they couldn't run away they would lose all the strength in their leg

Because I would go like this, I'd go, I'd look at it and I go, one, two. Let's start running. Brian, seriously, because I can't. Three. And I was a robot. I was a zombie. I was coming. And they'd run.

And I'd just go, four, five. And as they were running, I was way faster. And I'd run and I'd go, six, seven. And Mary! And I would just attack her. She couldn't take it. She was trying to get her key in the fucking door. That's the best that there's keys involved.

Trondon. Like a horror movie. Like a horror movie. I would stand in Scott's doorway. I would just go into the doorway of his office. And I would only do it like every like three weeks. So he's never expecting it. Because more often than not, I'm like, hey, Scott, can we work on that Kenny Rogers sketch?

Or whatever, right? And I just show up in his doorway. And he's like, hey, well, can I help you? And then I'm just looking at him. And I just go, 10. No, well, I can't. Nine. I have a deadline.

I have to finish just by four. Eight. Will, seriously, I cannot fuck around. Please go away. Seven. Ah, well, stop. Six. And he would, ah!

And get up and blow past me. And run past me and run out of the fucking building and just out into the parking lot of the studio of the lot. And I'm like, yeah, it's like, three, you know, two. And he's like, ah! And it's fucking high school again for Scott. Like the way, it's so fucking mean. What would you do to him? I caught him once.

Tickle him? Yeah, I got him. I was like, what do you think I was going to do? And he was like, get the fuck away from me. Like, I was like, I didn't do anything. I just got him. I was like, hey, Scott, do, do, do you know, like, you're in the corner. What am I going to do?

He's like, oh, fucking Brennan picked me up. There's an Instagram yesterday. And he saw that. Dude, he started twisting me. I almost put it back in. Brian goes, Brian goes, let me pick you up. He couldn't do it. And I went, I pick you up and he goes, no.

What? He goes, you can't pick you. I can't pick you up and helicoptered you over my head. I was panicking. I was like, ah, ah, ah. That was so uncomfortable because only my midsection was being held up. Oh, my God. So I had to kind of hold my whole body.

I was, I was bending. Going back to, like, my cousin died because he was gay, so it's a touchy subject. And so I grew up around gay. Like my mom, my aunt Nubby, her best friend was gay, and I'd go to, like, their parties. And they're always cool with me. You don't molest me any shit. Like that's why I grew up with him. But we've been, uh, I was doing a set at the comedy store and I was backstage with Andy Dick.

And he's like, you know, Brian told me. me I got to come on the show. I'm like for sure. And he goes, oh, give me your number because I'll make sure I get on the show. I'm like, yeah, okay. Give my number. You know, and it's whatever. And then we're trying to get him on the show, you know. And Andy's great. I love Andy. And he texts me.

I'm like, hey, this is like two weeks ago. I'm like, okay, today at noon. And he goes, maybe, man, I might have this booking. And then I go, oh, cool, deal with your book. And then hours go by, I don't have anything. I just get, can we book a Dix? Oh, fuck, that's hilarious. Well, you work with Andy.

I know Andy, yeah. You know Andy. Can we book a dick? Jeez. He just thumbs that off to you 12 hours later. And I was just like, I put, ha ha, see you later. Let me know you can do the show.

Like, I don't want to suck your dick in. And he's dead serious about that. Dead serious. It's hilarious, guys. Well, you worked with Andy on a TV show over three years or tears? Yeah, three or four years. Yeah, it was less than perfect. So funny.

And it was weird. One of my rules moving to Hollywood was don't become friends with Andy Dick. So I kind of feel like I still have. I love Andy. He comes backstage and he goes, you know, I'm getting ready to go on. There's like one person and then he's back there with some guy. And he goes, can I sit next to you? I'm like, sure.

You know, I'm like trying to get my mind right. And he goes, oh, how are you doing? I don't know him at all. And I go, I'm all right, man. He goes, cool. Listen, they want me to go on before you. I'm just going to, you know what I'm going to do? Be ready because I'm just going to go on.

I'm going to stare at the crowd. And then I'm just going to introduce you and walk. off. I'm like, okay. And he goes, just be ready to go because I don't know what I'm going to do. And he goes, wait. And this is, you know, Andy, it's him performing. He goes, do I have my flute here? And then his friend's like, I can go.

Do I have my flute here? His friend goes, I can go get it. Yeah. His friend gets it. And then Andy goes, seriously, be ready to go next. Like, I'm going to call you out and go up there. I'm like, I'm ready, man. Like, I'm ready to go. And so I'm sitting there. I'm like, what's this going to mean? He goes, literally, I'm going to be about one minute. He was up there with his flute,

for probably 16 minutes, 20 minutes, baby. That's hilarious. No, that's what he did. The crowd was dying. Chin was there. The crowd was laughing. Oh, good, good, good. He's professionally funny.

The only thing worse than, like, a guy going out there and just staring at the audience and then going, okay, why don't you deadlift that from, you know, zero a hour? It would be a guy going out there and playing the flute and having it not go well. And they go, now come out here and do comedy. Oh, I know. That can be a problem. It was funny, though. That's funny.

I fuck with him a lot. How about we schedule a dick-sucking? How about we schedule it? That's impressive, sir. If you were a hot, I'll be so much cooler. I wish I swung that way because I would be a whore. But I just can't, man.

It would be easy to get started. No, I wouldn't. There's no homosexual bears. No polar bears. Pardon the pun. Polar bears. Well, because it's just sort of a, you know, a unisexual thing is what I mean. Sure.

You know, you're fucking boy bears and girl bears and you don't quite know what's going on. Yeah. A polar bear's vagina smells like shit. All right, man. Is there another current event? You got another one. Yeah, let's move to. Do you guys know who John Caparulo?

Yeah, I know John. Did you hear about the story of him getting heckled? Yeah. John's a comic in, I'll tell a story. John's a comic at a very funny comic at the comic story. He does the road a lot. And he made an anti-Trump joke and a woman in the front said, fuck you. I've seen this guy.

And threw a glass at him. And John's a very kind of like, you know. Oh, yeah, he's from Chelsea Handler. You guys are known from me. He's a regular on Chelsea Handler show all the time. Yeah. And anyway, but it was kind of an event because they left and there was no, nothing really happened. She threw a glass.

Well, she threw a glass at him. Adam, yeah. It didn't hit him apparently. No, it did. Hit his stomach. And I was even shocked. And he dropped his mic. Oh, wow.

Hold on. So she says a dick joke about Trump. The woman in the front row grabs her glass. So it throws it in his stomach. Yeah. So first she goes, F you, as soon as he tells the punchline. And then he goes, F me. He goes, you F off, right?

Get out of the show. And then he was like, he was. like giving her a little bit of a hard time just saying like you know screw you why try it messing up my show and then there was more words exchange and then she grabbed a glass and chucked it at the stomach pretty hard Jesus man she sounds like an asshole

you're always going to get assholes you have to go to jail for that though right or do they not be a salt yeah he could charge if he pressed charges the club did but he looks like he's a bit of a bigger dude so that's kind of the that's a funny place to hit him in he's short short he's short yeah he's short short

she hit him in the gut and he was he laughed it off and like screw you. This might, who comes to a comedy? This is in Hermosa, right? The Magic Club in Hermosa. Who comes to the comedy show and gets offended by anything? Yeah. That's my president.

Oh, fuck. Assholes. You get assholes. That's a bummer. You anything else, Jim? Trump owns three bars on that strip by the beach. So maybe that's, they love them there. I'm going to go drinking at Hennessee's.

I need some Hennessy. I'm going to go get some chicken strips. You know what I like about him? They taste like deep fried snot. Oh, wow. And some beer. It's a good call back. Go on.

Thanks, buddy. You got another one, Jim? Yeah. So Doug Adler, he's the ESPN guy that got fired for using the word gorilla when Venus was having a match. She said gorilla effect. All sorts of progressive people here. The guerrilla effect. And on how she, like, got a point.

And apparently people think that was a racist remark. He says it wasn't. And he was a, what's the guerr effect if it's not? Like guerr with guerr, like guerrilla warfare kind of thing, not guerr. This is the fucking racist. madness. And you got a heart attack now. No, this has happened before.

I know that's easy to jump on, but you got to be carefully. You're a commentator, especially you're a African-Americans. Like, you're professional. The same time when that NFL guy goes, look at the little monkey run, well, you can't be on air. It's too competitive. You can't do that. I know, but guerrilla, as in guerrilla warfare, that's a, that's just a word in

the English language. He had no intention of saying that. You can't fire somebody for saying something that was in the, an English word, where he meant something very clear and it's a term in tennis you know and so so when you fire somebody that's fucked up to me you're talking about his livelihood I agree

and I think that it takes a that's overreaction and a quick retraction of perhaps a term that sounds like a another word and a and a little bit of an explanation from Doug Adler and it would have been fine yeah let's all get together let's all get together

you got a hard of that just oh my uh we'll sit and love each mother, polar bears too. Everyone in a love soup. It's love soup, 2017. Love soup. Will's obsessing.

Gay comedy writers, Kelly Ann Conway, a polar bear and a walrus killing each other. Brian's been kicking a boxing bob and Brendan's smashing his face with focus pads. And then they're fucking... Good job.

He's tossing them around and his dick inside is. Hey, man. Is that it a chin? There's more if you guys want to work. Let's do a dropping knowledge, and we'll get into some fight talk. Sounds good. I was going to drop, we should probably do fight talk now. All right.

I don't mind. Yeah. What do you think of the fights, buddy? Well, Khabib Nurgamatov. I'm really looking forward to this Tony Ferguson, Kibb Nurgumatoff. I think that. You want to start with the co-main event? Yeah.

Okay, go ahead, buddy. Bring it up, bring up the fights. Let's break it down before we get it out. Yeah, brother. Let's just do the... Who's going to go over, dude? Let's just do the co-main event and main event. All right.

Yeah, we don't only get two long to do that. That'd be Khabib and Tony. No, but what's the other one? The main event would be Thompson Woodley, yes, yes. My take on Thompson Woodley is that I think, again, my guess is Woodley is going to not get lured into a trap.

He's going to keep his back against the cage again. I would imagine that's the only way to fight. Well, I think the only, unless they know something else, I don't know, the only way to fight him, the only way to fight him, though, is to do that. I don't know how you press the action with Wonderboy.

It's just his wheelhouse. And I feel as though unless Tyron Woodley does something either, something else, then he's going to get, I think Stephen Thompson's going to figure that out. And I think,

so I got Stephen Thompson winning this one. I don't know what does Tyron do. In other words, I guess, what does Tyron do if not? Same game plan would seem to work. That's why you had a 10-8 round almost finished. It worked. Yes.

And so what I'm saying is that, let me be more clear. What I'm saying is that I would stick to the game plan that worked before. That puts you. Well, there you go. Because he's going to figure it out. No. So they asked, because Woodley's take down, his wrestling was successful, but he got away from it. He got away from his wheelhouse.

Then he had this striking match with Thompson, even though I had 10-8 round. But remember, Thompson was winning three out of the five rounds to the judges. but that 10-8 round kind of fucked, and that's why I was the draw. And I'll get balls deep in on this week's big round breakdown. But Thompson is the guy, he's the one doing all the changing now. He put on eight pounds of muscle. He has to cut weight. It's weird, man.

So to me, I'm seeing some red flags from Thompson. Really? I think Woodley wrestles him more, wins more rounds. If he doesn't get finished, if he doesn't get, you know, clipped or something like that. But I think he just initiates more grappling and beats them up by decision again. Well, let me give you my take on this, dude, because it's, rare that you book two baby faces in the main event, brother. Because back

of the day, Vince... Yeah, they're two baby faces, brother. And Vince would never do that, dude. It would always be me versus Andre the Giant, right? Heel versus Babyface. Heel versus Babyface, brother. I just one of those turns, by the way. Yeah, brother. The only time we straight up booked Babyface versus Babyface was me versus Ultimate Warrior in WrestleMania 6th.

So it's going to be interesting to see, brother, how we get two baby faces, dude. Thanks, Hulk. Good to know. Thanks, Hulk. Yeah. We're going to move on now to Khabib Nurgum strong gimmick dude the russian versus the all-american that's right tony ferguson that's right the white meat baby face tony ferguson versus that dirty angry russian brother it's the cold war dude and hulk hogan has got kabib near magabababino do a numinoff and he's got him in that headlock dude and he's saying mr gorbachev tear down that wall brother that's a that's a good book that's an

outdated thing but let's stick to this i like col i like cold bringing and down um who you got to be uh So I think Tony Ferguson is confusing. He's so good at confusing his opponents. He changes things up all time. I don't know about that. I don't know that that works against the guy like Khabib Nurgamatoff because Krabib, as we know, I've never seen him not get a hold of you. Tony, Tony, I don't know about that, dude.

I don't know about that. But he's a jiu-jitsu. He's a 10th planet badass. But I don't know if anything works against Khabib when he closes that distance and grab that. I'll tell you what would work against Khabib. I'll hit him with that big boot, bro. And then when he hits the mat, I'll hit him with that leg drop, dude. And that'll be the end of the big angry Russian brother.

All right. Well, that's what I would do. That's what I would do in the years. Kameen hasn't lost ever. But he's never lost a round. That's never lost a goddamn round. What is your take on it? This is the, first of all, it's the greatest fight in lightweight history at 55.

And I'm surprised the UFC was forced to do it. Because usually, you know, they booked GSP versus Bisbing today. So they're They're just booking these huge main fights they're going to sell Because this fight doesn't sell But to the purest it does So to me it's the greatest fight in lightweight history It's the first time I'm having trouble picking the winner

I don't know I go back and forth I don't know Well I don't know It's too tough to pick I obviously have to pick And I'll figure it out I think

I think Khabib You know he's never lost a round man But he also hasn't fought That tough of guys He fought Dosanchos before Usada came. You know what I'm saying? He fought Dos Santos before he wound on that huge run.

Yeah, he mollywapped him by decision, but I thought Tony was more impressive when he beat him. They have a common opponent in, they have a common opponent in, I forget who, but Tony Fish and finished him, Kibu went to a decision with him. It's a tough fight to pick. Tony, a better striker, right?

Tony's, yeah, Tony's better striker. People forget, too. Tony's background is wrestling. It's wrestling. It's not jih Tzu. It's wrestling. No, it's not jih Tijuana. I made a career out of kicks and punches, dude. Well, you did, but...

Well, let me ask you this, dude. Is this 2.09? Is that a big pay-per-view, brother? It won't... No. Well, then you might be able to book the heel over Ferguson. True. Because then he could just get his receipt

at the big summer paper. Well, all right, but this is UFC, so I'm going to ask you to... Yeah, but if you want to start a feud, brother, the way to book it, is you get the big angry Russian over on the American. No, too late. He's never lost a round. Okay. And then...

What about Russian, Irishman because that's what's going to go with the organ Hogan. Hogan, the gimmick that's going to happen. Vince gave me was what were you going to say though about Vince loves Irish dude. I know you shut up for a second. Hogan bro. He won't all Irish. You shut up for

session. I don't know about that dude. Kibb's two to one favorite. It's a tough fight to pick I just think like Khabib goes forward. Khabi only has one way to win. He's not going to beat him in striking. He's not going to submit him. He's going to take him down, win by decision. He does that big

Russian bear hug, dude, or the claw. Like, too. Let me ask you this. I don't know if he can do that for five rounds against Tony. Right. I think Tony has better cardio. He's more dangerous everywhere. I don't know about that, dude.

And Tony's, like, it seems like Khabib can get anybody on their back and pound their faces in it. Anybody. But Tony, Tony will go to the mat. This is my thing. I think Tony loses rounds, but if Tony wins, it's going to be by finish. He won't be in a decision. Tony will catch him in submission or TKO. But he's going to lose rounds.

You're going to see him constantly losing rounds. Right. And then people are going to be a little upset because Tony's going to be doing damage. I'm like, come on, he did all this damage. He's going to be losing the game of mixed martial arts. That's fair. Yeah, brother. I mean, my, my, I, God damn, it's such a great fight.

It's a great fight. It's a great fight. Probably could be by decision. I don't know about that. People are going to be upset, though. Well, I don't know about that, dude. I wouldn't go to the decision if it's a pay-per-view. You don't watch.

UFC. Well, I watch paper views, dude. I still watch the product, brother. Well, we're talking about UFC, and you're going to make me mad now because you... I don't say that you don't know about that because it's very passive aggressive and it's very fucking annoying. I don't know about that. He might like you're dropping knowledge, though. Yeah, brother.

Yeah, let's go through a dropping knowledge very quickly. I had a couple of trivia questions. Brennan, what religion? Brennan, Will, what religion was Jesus Christ? Jewish. Jewish. What did they call him most of the time? King of the Jews. What are the people that knew him call him?

Jesus. No. They call him Jesus. I thought they call him Jesus. Well, no, Jesus. Typically, what do they refer to him in the Bible? Well, Jesus. Yeah.

No. What? Abraham? Rabbi. Isn't that funny? Wow. Rabbi. I did not know that.

Yeah. Do you know when the Bible was the church leaders essentially decided what was to go into the New Testament? Like how long after Jesus' death? How long after that? What scholars generally agree, generally agree, when was the Bible the New Testament actually put together? And how many books are in the New Testament? I'll tell you. 27.

27. 27 books. But think about this. The Bible that's had such a huge influence. Like how long after Jesus is death? With the New Testament? Yeah. I've got to say it was written in 1800, brother.

Nope. But it was 300 years after he died, which is fascinating to me. Which is 1800. And the church leaders had to say, let's put all these. books in there. And that's how it was developed. And the other thing I want to say in my drama knowledge is if you don't accept Jesus Christ in your heart, you're going to burn

and fire forever. We're the Christian kings. We're the Christian kings. And we live up on high. I'm supposed to be on. I'm literally supposed to be at the Goldbergs right now. Right now? Where are they? Very late. But I love you guys. You come see me everybody this weekend. Tomorrow.

Tonight, Thursday. Laugh Boston. Friday. Saturday Laugh Boston, Saturday Laugh Boston in Boston. I'm sorry to leave you like this. You get, I can do all the reads. I apologize for that. I don't know if I want to do them. All right.

Because I got to do another show after this. Why don't we just do a couple? Because I'm so late, but let's, let's do, let's do. Not you be late for your time. No, let's do On it. I'm so late. Let's do On it in 5-4. And then Will, they can watch your video on YouTube.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, hey, go a 10-minute podcast. You get it on iTunes. It's fun. And rate and review the show. I don't have it and enjoy it. And then also there's a, yeah, go to Will Saso. No, it's YouTube.com slash Will Sassau TV.

I hope you did follow me. If you like the apps and the internet, you might, you might dig it. And then tickets for my Big Brown Breakdown live in La Hoya, La Jolla. La Jolla, it's basically San Diego. April 27th, just went live. Get them right now. TfackK.com or just go to a comedy store, LaHoya, and they will have them there too. TFatK.com.

Hagoso Skeptil Hippo Shirts drop next week This is Will Sassau This is Brian Callum This is the final kid We're out Yeah bye

Yeah Will Sassow Killing in as usual