The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 294 Will Sasso

Episode Date: May 17, 2026

Will Sasso joins Bryan as special guest host for the day. The guys talk diamond listener goals, Swedish fish, woolly moose, boxing, training dogs, taming bears, hairless chimps, flat earth, the "Book of Willigion" and Jesse Ventura even stops in for a bit. All this and much more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can withstand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them.

Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Onet's... studios in Pliya, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. That doesn't matter.

Sounds better when you say, live. But we're not live. We don't do live, right, right? And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. Shut up. This is not live. It's not live.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're waiting for Will Sassad. And fuckface is late as usual. He's always a half hour late 100%. There's no question. I'll get a text that says, boy, this place is far away, huh? You've been here before Saso. My buddy, Nate Schomer, has got a show on Animal Planet called From Rescue Dog to Super Dog, hoping for a second season.

He trained my dogs. He wanted to come in and watch the podcast because he's a fan. So while we wait for Will, I'm going to ask Nate a bunch of questions about dogs. Dude, he took my dogs for two weeks and basically they came back and they were doing calculus derivatives. They were like, they were talking. It was crazy. What's the smartest dog? What's the smartest breed of dog right now? You know, smartest dog, it's pretty arguable. A lot of people will say that the border collie is the smartest dog. I mean, it's incredibly capable.

It can learn so many different commands. But then we also want to look at trainability, which dog is the most trainable? I personally love the Belgian Melanamo because they're so driven, so motivated. And even though they're not as smart as the border collie, they can still accomplish some incredible tasks because of that drive and motivation. So if the zombie apocalypse comes. Oh, I want a Melanoa. You want a melanoa? Oh, yeah.

Really? 100%. They're going to inhale. They're going to inhale anybody who comes after you. Oh, yeah. You can have to do everything. They love it too. Really?

That's the best part, right? You know, I mean, we've talked about protection training and bite work and stuff like that before. And, you know, there's this misconception that the dogs don't enjoy it. Right. But you've seen it. And what's your take on it? They like biting that sleeve more than they like any kind of food you could possibly give them. Oh, yeah.

There's, it's like, it's like, I mean, it's almost like, sex, like the way, like, if you had this beautiful woman and they were like, don't touch her and you haven't had sex in 10 years. Like, like, they freak out. Like those serious game bred are those sort of like prey drive dogs, those police dogs, they're biting, they're clicking their teeth. They're like, and then you present the sleeve and they hit it like, like there's zero hesitation. That's like the best analogy I think I've ever heard for that. Yeah. It's hilarious. I mean, I love doing it. It's an incredibly fun sport. It's very... It's a workout, too, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, of course you're going to sweat a ton and get a great workout.

And you've got a great body. Nate was a Marine for nine years. A real Marine. To be exact, seven years and seven months. Black belt in marine martial arts, seven years. Yeah, but any black belt and jujitsu is going to kick my butt. Even the purple belts, blue belts kick my butt. I don't give a shit, man.

You train dogs and you're a Marine. You're a stud. So what were you saying? So about... What was I saying? Something about the melon one, I believe. leave. Okay, wait, so Malinua's for the zombie apocalypse. What about an eastern German line, German Shepherd or a Rottweiler? You have to, I mean, German shepherds can make fantastic dogs,

especially when it comes to having a family or like a protection dog because they have that on and off switch. So they can go out there. They can do the work arguably as good as a melanwa, but then they do have that off switch. They can relax. They can cuddle with the family. But that's not to say that a melonwa can't do that either. I mean, I have a melonwa and she will snugly. up with anyone. It doesn't matter. Really? Yeah. But she'll also bite you in the face? Well, I don't teach her to bite in the face, but she loves the bite suit. She loves the tug toys and she has a blast. It's more of a game for her. It's not fight drive. Yeah, it's a game for all of them. I mean, what I tell people, when somebody comes out on a bite suit, the dog's not looking to

bite that person. That's not their intent, although some are, don't get me wrong, especially police dogs, they got to train them for that more civil type work. But a lot of the dogs that I work They're sport dogs. You know, if they accidentally bite your hand, let's say, they immediately let go and they go, oh, sorry, sorry. I did not mean to bite your hand. Should we go back in? So then that's not because when I was in Afghanistan, Afghanistan, I put on a bite suit. And they had these malinois.

And when they had the malinois in the cage, they were like, they were going crazy. And I was like, do not open that case. Like, no, don't worry about it. The minute they opened the cage, they came out and they were like, they were fine. Right. Like I thought they were trying to get at me. They were barking and trying to bite at the cage. The minute they opened the cage, the dog came around.

out circled around and it was just kind of like sniffing and I was like dude the thing was literally looking in the eye trying to kill me well those handlers have good control I'm assuming yeah well but then again so they put on we put on the bite suit but I didn't have a helmet and I was like shouldn't I have my head protected like nah they won't bite your hand so for them it was kind of a game but how do you get the dog from going like like in a real life situation if somebody's hitting or shooting a gun or actually trying to hurt them or you how do you get that dog to transfer that And there's a lot of different ways that trainers will work with dogs to get them to that point of being an actual protection dog or a police dog or a military dog. The training is going to be a little bit different.

A lot of the foundation work is the same, getting the dog to love the training, getting the dog to do a full bite to hold on. There's a lot to. But even with, you know, police canine training, there's a lot of different aspects that they have to look at something I believe it's called. I could be getting this wrong. So if anybody is listening to this and they're an expert when it comes to police canine training, I apologize. guys, but they have something that's called like the blue fog. So they teach the dogs when they bite not to let go at all. Right.

Because they don't want the dog to let go of the bite and redirect on a police officer. And they don't want the dog chewing. Because if the dog is chewing on the criminal that was trying to escape or whatever, then that's a huge liability issue if the person has like 30 bites on their arm. It should be the one where they lock down, police come in, they arrest the suspect, and then they take the dog off. That's like my friend who got in a fight with all these cops in Philly. That's a bad idea.

drunk, but he's a giant. And he kicked the dog in the ass. And the dog redirected on a dude across the street who was running. Oh, wow. And took that dude down. And that's why he got off because there was such a lawsuit that the cops didn't, the Philly police didn't want this huge like lawsuit and all this publicity. But the dog redirected because my friend grabbed the cop through the cop,

threw the cop on the dog as it was coming out of him. He saw that, he saw them let the dog through the, go from the truck. and then he kicked the dog in the ass. If you know my friend, you understand this? He's a big, big dude. There's an article, like, there's an article framed of a woman, a cop, a huge woman in a neck brace because she was part of the melee. And I think it was before they had tasers.

I don't know what it was, but this is like in the 80s when he was playing football. Oh, wow. And he's, if you know him, he was 280 and 6-2 and it was all muscle and he could dunk a basketball. He was weird strong. You know, one of those fucking guys where you can tase him and he's like, ah, fuck. And he grabs you. Pulls it out. Yeah, literally.

Literally. Like some dudes, it just doesn't work. He was like, I know guys like that where he was one of those guys who would, like he was at a football game and they had a, they had a dog. And he was staring at it. I wasn't there. But my friend was like, what are you looking at it? He goes, I'm looking at that dog. And he goes, well, what are you looking at?

He goes, I kill that dog. And they go, well, what do you mean? And he goes, I'm just thinking at that dog. came at me like what I would do. And his friend goes, what would you do? He goes, I think I'd kick his legs out. And then when it fell on the ground, I'd like, I'd jump on it and I'd strangle it. And he was trying to go through the whole motions of what he would do.

Have you ever heard of the, it makes me think of, I was talking to somebody who's an incredible MMA fighter. And he said, you know, there's been times where I've taken somebody who only worked, you know, let's say one specific martial arts. And he's like, and I hit him a couple times and their belt level starts to drop because that panic sets in because they're not used to actually being hit. That's a saying that they have, they say with you're a black belt and just jiu-jitsu, like MMA guys will be like, they go, oh, your black belt, brown belt,

right, red belt, you know, I can't remember the belts, but you know, purple belt, blue belt, white belt, you know, I just punch you five times and you go right back down to a white belt. And that's what I think is very similar to with like a dog. I've had a lot of people tell me, oh, I could take on a protection train dog or a police dog. and I'm thinking to myself, no, most likely you can't. When that dog comes and rips off your tricep, all of a sudden, your perspective completely changes. Now you're just screaming for help.

Fuck yes. My buddy who's a SWAT sergeant said that to me. He deployed a dog on, I shouldn't have seen this, but I did, on this giant green beret guy. He had two cops in a canal in Florida, and he was basically fighting him and drowning him. And he let his dog go. that dog grabbed his arm the top of his arm he had huge arm but he shut down and i go what happened he goes

my dog's a wolf bro it's a hundred pound shepherd when it grabs on the nerves shut down your arm shuts down you're not you're not fighting that dog yeah that's an animal that's a hundred pound wolf that's got crazy pounds per square inch pressure and i don't think people real because i've i felt a malinois bite on through the suit right and i panicked exactly don't we have it on videotape dove david off the comic was like, get it off me. Get your wolf off me. He was freaking out. They bite, like, I couldn't believe the pressure just in the bite suit. And that's a funny thing too, because, Will fucking Saso, ladies and gentlemen. What's happening? Will Sassow. Nate, Nate Schomer. How are you? Nate Schumer and I are talking. He, because you were late. Nate, hey, man, no, take that,

get that, get that sign off, bro. Get that sign off. What's up, man? All right, dude. Take, take, take it easy, bro. Ah, what are you? you doing? All right. This is our secret handshake. No, it's not. I've never agreed to this handshake, bro. What are you doing, man? I don't want to talk in every direction. Will Saso. Nate, I want to thank you

for making an appearance on the fighter and the kid. And the man. Nope. The fight of the kid, the man. All right, take it in. Hey, I'm just here to co-host a show sitting in for Brennan's shop. Big Brennan's got the big brown breakdown. Check it out. Brennan's got a new... No, don't talk about his podcast. Well, he's got a

a new line of socks. Nope, he doesn't. Big brown socks. No, I don't think he does. Big brown socks. Check out your big brown socks at bigbrownsocks.com. They're brown, they're big, and their socks. If you have over a size 17 foot, you're going to want Big Brown's wickaway moisture

technology. All right. If you got big, shitty, stinky, sweaty feet like me, now, Brian, you know I wear a size 22 and I will put it through your face if you keep at me about being late. Don't hang a sign on the door I'm supposed to walk through. Ever again, I do take that as an offense. Okay. Now listen up.

Big brown socks.com. The only way to get your big brown breakdown. This is not an advertisement for big brown fucking socks. Listen up. You would try to bring that foot. Hey, I bet you didn't know that brown has been 87 shades of brown. Listen, listen up. We got 150 colors.

You wouldn't reach my face with your foot because I move so quickly and I can measure distance and you would kick and you'd overstep and then your fucking face with the air and I would go back, back. Yeah. I'd go boop, boop, boop. because I understand combinations. Boop, boop, whack. And then you'd go, me, me, me, and you'd shit your pants.

How did you... You shit your pants and have to run away. Hey, how did that guy... What was that guy, the crocodile hunter? Rocketile Dundee. No, the guy, the fellow passed away. Steve Irwin. Steve Irwin.

Now, how did he die? I'm already annoyed with this giant fucking water bottle of yours, man. You drink too much water, bro. You just do. You drink too much water. You can't... Excuse me? Drink enough water.

I can't. Take it. How did Steve Irwin die? He had, he got, he tried to pet a stingray from what I understand. Yeah. And it shot its, it's, uh, barb into his heart. And God bless the man, he passed away. How big's a stingray?

I don't know, Will. It was probably a very big stingray. Probably had a wingspan of about six to eight feet. Okay. Now, we're going to go ahead and say, we're going to go ahead and put the over under at under when we say that my foot is the size of a stingray. It's probably a little smaller, right? It's a little smaller, right?

It's a little smaller. But not by much. I don't know. And I don't believe in getting pedicures. Okay. So if you come close to me and I'm just wagging my foot around and I just send a gnarled yellow toenail into your chest, I cut you. Don't.

If I cut you with my toenail, you bleed out. No. I'm not touching you. Get your finger. This is my podcast. Get your finger the fuck. Bro, I'm warning you. I can be pushed just so far.

Oh, I'm Brian. I can be pushed just so far. My mom. How are you? Push. What I'm Brian Call. I can hope on the phone. That's not my voice.

Will's fingers aren't in my ear. It's not my voice. Oh, I touched your ear a little bit. I can only be pushed so far, see? All right, Will. What's up, man? Not much. First of all, welcome back from Canada.

Thank you very much. You spent too much time in Canada. I don't know where the fuck you were. You spent too much time in Canada. I did. I went to Canada for way too long. Yeah. And the other thing you guys need to know is that Will,

Christelia, and Marshall are, we're all on a thread. Marshall. They know just Marshall. Marshall. Marshall Cook, our buddy. He's our buddy. Yeah, a good buddy, Marshall Cook. Writer, director, extraordinaire, Marshall Cook.

Hey, we just finished a script. Yeah, I know you did. We want to, no, we just rewrote a script and things. So we were going to need you to get that to Patty Jenkins. Yeah. And Todd Phillips. Yeah. And Grillo.

Yeah. And we're just going to need you to get it. We're going to need you to get around. That's why I'm here. I got long arms. I got long arms so I can do that. Okay, cool. I'm going to need you to do some clerical duties for me.

No. Today, once we finish up with your pod show, we're going to sit down and we are going to, I'm going to sit over, I'm going to sit over your shoulder. No, no. And I'm going to drink. You're going to make me a protein shake. I'm not a kid. A tangy protein shake that's going to make my breath bad.

And then I'm going to sit over your shoulder and go, yeah. And Patty Jenkins. Nope. Is that a g-mail? I'm not agreeing to that. And that's what I would like you to do for the rest of the day. You're going to do some clerical duties. You're being rude.

You're going to get this amazing script out. And the next time I come on the fighter and the kid in the man. I'm going to tell you about all the wonderful strides we've made in getting the script out there and doing the movie, you know, getting the movie made because that's what fucking matters, right? Is making movies? Not hanging out in Canada with my adorable little parents and my friends and family. Well, you were with your family.

That's not what matters. Come down to Hollywood, everybody. Take it easy one. Oh, I came back here and I'm like, of course. I should be here in my house all by myself. Oh, no. Oh, what a great time. All right.

Oh, I'm so glad that I'm pursuing my career. Take it easy, bro. This is not a place. You know how long I've been in show business? Probably. 52 years. I don't know if you're that old. 52 years in show business.

It feels that way for you right now because you're not having a good time. Well, I'm having a great time, actually. Things are going swell. We're not going to talk about that because I love your listeners. I enjoy coming on the podcast anytime. I'm on the podcast. You have a wonderful and loyal listenership. Yeah, we do.

We do not want them to, yeah, they are. And we don't want to hear them going like, oh, that asshole talked about this for too much or that for too much. I'm perfectly fine to let you drive. Yeah. Don't, don't. Don't. Don't, don't. No, I was just.

Condescending them. No, I was thinking about something that I saw on TV. Nope. You were laughing at the idea of me. No, no, no. I was like. Because you're already trying to be the alpha male in this. No, no, I don't.

That's, that shit either comes naturally or it doesn't. Okay. don't fucking I'm an alpha too so that's the thing don't yeah but don't look what you're doing but I don't like your body language because I'm not afraid I can sit up too I'm not afraid to fight you and I'll say that right now look at you you're sitting you got you need your knee under you don't to get you up don't have a big man ass like me okay I got a big fat man ass oh god yeah what what do you do with that what my big fat man

you ever have a girl be honest with me you ever have a woman because I know you see you you get you get girls sometimes that like their big man they like a big man You ever have a woman just work your ass? Work my ass. You know what I asked you. Yeah, I've had women like stand on my ass. Yeah, what else? You ever have a girl just knead it like dough?

Yeah, need it like dough. Just get down and need it. Or, you know, hold the edge of the... I have a very regal looking bed, so the head... The headboard is very regal, and it goes up. There's leather, there's wood. Very regal. Don't fuck that noise.

That word. And they'll hold it, and then they'll just, you know, gasea my ass with the... Their feet. They gaisha your ass. If I get too relaxed, then, you know, a little size five. Oh, no. Up your shitter. Oh, God, Will.

Brian and I used to have a podcast. Yeah. And it's called the 10-minute podcast. Yeah, we know. And it's still on. Yeah. You were on recently, not too long ago. Hilarious.

Yeah. And I always invite your listeners to go check out the 10-minute podcast. Yeah. But they better do it quick because we got something called the diamonding happening. What's the diamonding, Will? Oh, boy. The origins of the diamonding. lie in my good pals who do the podcast with me now.

Because no, I just ask because I got a diamond-shaped pisshole. You do have a diamond-shaped piss hole. You know what I mean? I got a real pisshole. You've got a... Brian has the widest piss hole. I got a piss hole. Brian takes a piss. I can piss and come.

He can... He'll come and piss and do it all in around 20 seconds. He'll do... He's told me many a tales. This is for you, I say. This is for you. And then it's just like... It's like someone just like...

Like if you filled like a shot loss, and then you just went like that. If I'm in a German piss bar, for example. Right. And I got it, and I'm up on one of them trapezes, and I got them perverts down there. Oh, yeah, yeah, you peace, American peace. Yeah, this is for you, what I say. Yeah, and they always go, that's a pisshole. Yeah.

I don't know how you say that in German. They say, it musta a in a pizhole. Yep, that's what they say. Yeah. They point to their face and they go, mit mayonnaiseer. Yeah. mit mayonnaise in that yeah I go

Mayo for you Mayo Clinic he can pee in like he can take like a full bladder piss in seven seconds that's right because Brian's piss hole looks like you put like a

like a like a like a half inch rebar up his dick all right don't be rude and just dug around in there so it's real you know what I'm talking about rebar

you know like the big rebar yeah this is not a good this is not yeah the diamonding starts the origins of the diamonding start with you know my good pals writer producers, Chad Colchin and Tommy Blotcher with whom I do the show now. And we've decided to whittle the audience down to one listener.

Oh, boy. One diamond listener. I don't understand that. Oh, it's been happening for a while and it's getting more and more arcane. As a matter of fact, I know that some of your listeners are people who listen to a couple podcasts and occasionally we'll get, you know, tweets and stuff that people listen to both our podcasts. So I guess I'm only speaking.

And by the point of a podcast is to grow it. And for you guys, you're trying to diamond it down. We're trying to get it down to. We're crushing it down. like coal to one diamond listener. Okay. And it's real and it's happening. And something very special that I cannot reveal now will be happening for real with that

one diamond listener. So I am not, I'm not trying to. You can't tell us what the reward for being the diamond listener is. No, that's going to be happening throughout the fall and we will let let it out. But there is a very real reward. I think this is unprecedented in the world of podcasting. Yeah, and I'm not trying to say like, hey, go check out the thing. Because, you know, every time I'm on here, like the 10-minute podcast,

and you get upset. It's not what I'm trying to do. No. What I'm trying to do is say, those of your listeners who listen to both shows, you know, who we appreciate over here at the fighter and the kid and over a 10-minute podcast, please play. I had a stroke. Oh, no.

I just had a stroke. Did you check that? Did you see that? That's because you do drugs all the time, bro. Yeah, because I do nothing but drugs and eat fried chicken. Oh, man. Fucking drugs and trick chicken. It's left in days.

Hey, do you read my book? Drugs and chicken? I didn't read that. Not a good book. It's bad, one of the worst health books ever. Anyway, I just want to say to the people who listen to both shows, pay close attention to what's happening with the diamond. Good luck with the diamond.

Oh, man. And some great shit's going to happen after it's over because when something dies, something else is born. It's death and resurrection. It's the yin and the yin. From the ashes. From the ashes of Phoenix. A phoenix.

rise. Speaking of Ash, speaking of Ash in your heart, how is, God damn it. You're not in the fucking Sudan, bro. We're not,

we're not crossing the deserts of Namibia. That is so spiritual. That's what I do when I'm crossing the deserts of Namibia. I sing that song by Enya or whatever. It's the edge of Innocence.

Ha! Do you know, do you know, Do you know that when you would chase the Mongols, when they would steal your women and your your stuff and they would kill a bunch of your brethren, and then they would run back into the desert and you would mount your army, right? You do not your army, people like you. Yes. And then you, the generals. Ancestors that I feel inside of my sinew and lungs. You fucking agricultural farmers.

You guys would mount, let's get the army together. And you chase them into the desert, you understand. Oh, yeah. Now, because you need a lot of water, okay? you would have, you'd be able to carry that water into the desert because know that there's no fucking, unless you want to stick a straw into a fucking cactus, yank it in your horses or you watered because you need a lot of water. Now listen, so you'd follow the Mongols in.

Now you can carry 24 hours of water. Actually, it depends. I think it was actually maybe eight days of water in. So you're chasing them and they're hanging just out of reach, just out of reach and mocking you. And you're like, eh, hey,

your bullshit water cry. And by the way, as you do that, your mouth is losing water, right? You're not wrong. You're not wrong. And they keep quiet, but they just hang just out of reach,

but you're so furious. And they got your girls. And maybe they're like, ha, ha, we got your girls. And you're like, you know, enya,

ena, I'm coming. Now, now, how come they don't have any water? Well, I'll tell exactly why. I don't have any water. You fucking.

You fucking, you fucking, you fucking, historical, ignoramus. There's so many hard things to hit you in the space with you here. I understand that, but just listen up. Keep your ears open. There's so much shit. And your, and your, and your button mouth shut. You got a thing over here in the corner. I saw it on the internet.

I'm not done. I know you're not done. I'm just taking a little pause to say you have a wonderful thing from YouTube. Yeah, congrats on 100,000. We're at 140,000 subscribers. It's fantastic. I'll fucking smash your nose with that. No.

So go on. Good luck because I, my head, I have a good head movement. Listen. I'll take three shots. You can miss the first two. You are not going to... All right. What's this thing? You'd catch that in the head. I'll answer back to. You catch that in the fucking head and lift that up with one hand. Don't fucking threaten to cave my head. I'm not threatening anything. Finish your story. All right. You historical ignoramus. I'll smash this. All right. Fuck. Hey, this guy got in touch with me. The man who made this? Yeah. Wonderful artist. And he's going to make another one for you because I'm going to break that into two perfect pieces on your nose.

Fuck. Finish your story. So they're tapping the vein of their horse Yeah And they're living on blood Right, yeah Okay As the as the horde would do

As you run out of water You go, hey guys We're four days in We gotta turn back Right Wrong But then you because you go I'm fucking too mad

Let's fucking keep going And they go Sir, Captain And you go Like you interrupt me Because be Yeah Sir we have to turn back around

No no way I'm too angry I'm Brian's version of me and I'm angry. Okay, sir. No, we got, no, we got to keep going. Sir, if we don't turn back now, we're going to run out of water the last day. So we really need to, I don't think we're going to catch them.

Somehow they don't seem to need water. Okay. Here's where you're wrong. Yeah. My agricultural forward society, my ancestors got along a slightly different way. We would be on the Great Plains. We would get attacked by the Mongols. You know, a little color would happen.

They would take our women. Yep. You know what I mean? Changing our blood. bloodline. Yeah. Having said that, my ancestors, with all the advancements they had in agriculture and also farming and animals, they crossbred two animals.

I didn't know that. Yes. Now, careful, because I don't know if this is historically accurate. They crossbred two animals. Yeah. One animal came from the great forests, mountains, and valleys of Canada. Okay, now careful, because... This is, of course, the moose.

Okay, the moose. The moose is a very fast animal. Yep. Stupid face, but yeah. It's got a big stupid face and a dumb nose. Dumb nose. It's a big animal. Don't.

I was just saying you got... I'm not a moose, bro. You got a stupid nose. And so... Stupid fucking nose, though. All right. So we got the moose. What does a moose have on his heads?

Sticking out of his skull? Big huge antlers, right? We also have a species that is extinct but can be brought back what with, you know, now the advancements with DNA, you know, you program the RNA to tell the DNA what to do. You guys understand that. I don't understand. A lot of science fans that listen to the show. The woolly mammoth.

And we crossbred these animals. You guys did? What do you mean? This is back in the day? The woolly moose. I don't know. We crossbred and we would ride the woolly moose in up to, you know, three adults and four children could ride on one. Is that true?

We can put babies in the antlers. Yep. And we would. It's very unsafe. Yep. And the will. Willie Moose reached up to what you would now refer to as like, you know, 90 to 100 miles per hour in speed. And running?

Yes. And now when you say that the, the hoard used to like tap the vein of the horse and drink, we would, we would, we would, you want to talk about a diamond-shaped pisshole. Yeah. A woolly moose has like a piss hole like that. It's like if you do this with your hands, see how that makes that diamond shape? Like DDP, are you doing your DDP yoga? You don't know what I'm talking about, right? No.

No, because you cover fighting here. Okay. Cover professional wrestling. All right. Should at least do one episode a month on. Anyway, they got a big huge piss hole. Yeah. And we just, you know, we just drink the water.

We'd go to the lake and then we'd stick our face into the woolly moose's vagina. Disgusting. Or put our face right into their dick. Yeah. And fill it with water. All right. And then we would, the kids would ride on the back and scoop it with the ladle. And we would have water for.

weeks. She just drank. We just drank woolly moose piss water. Yeah. And we would cross across the plains and desert. And you would kill the Mongols. Yeah, we would also cross over Russia into Alaska. Yeah. Visit our Inuit friends. Yeah. Back before that closed off. Well, you went, you went to Nunavit. I did go to Nunavut. And we covered this last time of the show. Yeah, you're around real Inuits. Yeah, that's right. We shot a film up in the Arctic Circle in Nunavut, Canada. It is the, it's the Inuit territory. And things are different up there. You didn't eat any raw meat because you're a pussy.

No, I ate a little bit of raw meat. Not really. No, I ate a little bit of caribou. Smart caribou. I was invited on a polar bear hunt. You didn't go. Did not go? Yeah, I wouldn't go either.

No, I understand. It would make me sad to shoot a polar bear. Well, you know, the thing is, it's 20. They give away in Nunavut, the agreement is they give away 20 contracts. You know, the government in association with the elders and this and that, and they've decided that 20. polar bear because you can't really just relegate an entire people up to here go up there and uh we're just going to start this whole thing down here in north america and uh by the way don't eat those animals

because we think they're cute yeah and there's only and there's four of them left that's right because they're going to be like well we're going to eat them anyway until they're gone that's right and then so 20 they got 20 a contract for 20 and uh um ecalo it is the capital of nunevut and 10 of those contracts go to ecalo it and so we uh so whoa and so and so we and so we and so So, yeah, anyway, so one of the guys, one of our drivers, Uckpick, he had a friend who got a contract. And he said, would you like to come polar bear hunting with us? And I said, no.

Because I was already foreseeing that. Now, I don't think anyone would give a shit because I'm just me. But I was already foreseeing that, like, Chris Pratt over a fallen lion picture on the internet. Something like that's bad press. It's bad press. Now, didn't you imagine? Like, you kill a lover. That's not flying.

Well, first of all, I don't want to be around for a polar bear. getting shot. And I don't think any white guys should. It's like it's their thing. Like the Inuit are doing it. Do it. Okay, fine. It's not for whites. It's not for whites. It's not for whites. Not for white. Not for whites. Not for white. Not for white. But yes, for the Inuit. Yes for the Inuit. Yes for the Inuit. Not for whites. Yes for the whole on. Fuck, man. Now, do you know how the Inuit used to kill Polar Bear? Because they did, they were a rough group. Oh, yeah. Because they would kill polar bear.

Now, do you, for 10 points, do you know how they used to kill polar bear? Oh, okay. Spears. Spears? And, but what would they do? Would they surround the polar bear? Yes. Good luck.

No, they didn't. Oh, okay. You're not fucking coming up to a polar bear with your fucking dumb spear. You're just going to piss it off and it's going to go, really? Have I seen, but haven't I seen some Inuit art with, you know, the Inuit surrounding the... Because the Inuit are well-known fucking liars. Hey, man, that's not cool. They're artistic liars.

Okay. I'm sitting here representing my Inuit people of Canada. They've done studies on the First Nations. They've done studies. On their hearts. Oakhpick is not a liar. Their hearts are very black with sin and lies. I'm just saying.

That's not true. I'm just telling you what the Discovery Channel, they found that the- I don't give a shit what the Discovery Channel says. I'm going to get the government of Canada. Their hearts are made of their hearts. They did a study. Their hearts are made of if you would eat a piece of Inuit heart. It would taste like sea.

You would die immediately because they're poisoned. It's poisoned. Oh, my goodness. That's terrible. I know it is. Oh, what a horrible thing to see it. I know. In fact, you can take an Inuit heart and put it out on the ice and animals from everywhere

will, they're 100 miles will stay away. They will stay away from an Inuit heart. I'm just telling you what the Discovery Channel. I don't think you saw that on the Discovery Channel. I'm not saying. I'm sure they're very nice people. But in the end, they're very nice people. They're liars.

They're very, they're very welcoming and warm people. And I just, I don't believe what you say. I'm just sure they kill Polar, I believe that. I love when people do this. They go, I believe that they're welcoming. I believe that they're good people, but I'm just telling you that their hearts will keep animals away for a hundred miles. So what does that tell you? I don't disagree that they are the salt of the earth. Just wonderful people that, you know, just absolutely some of the sweetest people. But. And I, and I'm not saying they're not. I'm saying that they're inherently very bad people. What I'm saying is two things. Yeah. And you can say two things. This is like your Harold. Harold goes, my buddy goes, but when I take fish oil, my skin is better. And he goes, I'm sure it is. But I'm telling you, fish oil is poisonous.

Like, some people can just like end the conversation. They'll just say, I'm sure that's true that all races to you are equal, but I'm saying they're not. Yeah, yeah. What? What are you? Like, what a weird? You can't just say that. That's the dumbest high school debate team way to say your point.

Hey, I'm sure that everything you're saying. true, but it isn't. Yeah, but it isn't. Huh? The Inuit would wait till the polar bear was sleeping. Oh. And the thing would be asleep, and I guess they'd sleep somewhere, and then you'd come in there and stab the fuck out of it with your spears.

Smart. And typically, the bone of the polar bear is very, very hard. So they would use the polar bear bone to sharpen that shit down, and that's what they would stab seals in their faces with when they were, when they came up for air. You wait for they come up to air. And you go, hey, that's a horrible way to kill a seal. It's no joke, man. It is cold.

It's a hard way to live. Yeah. You're just eating nothing but protein. There's no vegetation out there. Frozen fish. Frozen fish. Well, they'd cook fish, I guess. But you need seal oil or whale oil.

You got to render the fat. Otherwise, and if you didn't get a seal that winter, you basically lived in the dark. You lived in the fucking dark and you're eager. Yeah. And you had no fire. No. Or you just go to Popeyes and get some chicken and shit. Nope.

Um, the, uh, they eat everything like raw. They enjoy eating it raw. And they eat everything, walrus skin. Yep. Yeah. Well, Sam, my buddy Sam, Sharon went and studied him. And he had wolf mittens, wolf fur mittens that came up to your, like, elbow. And they had never been cured.

It was just they took the fur off. And because it's so cold, it just basically, you leave them outside and you can wear those mittens. Unbelievable. Yeah, it was really, really something to, really something to be held. That movie will come out scene. It's called The Grizzlies. Oh, yeah? Yeah, anyway.

What else is going on? Where's Brendan? He is in New York doing something for showtime. Sweet. Yeah. Oh, that's great. He's interviewing, I think, Deontov. Wow.

The weirdest leg cramp just then. Well, dude. You know, man? These little chairs, man. All right, bro. These little fucking chairs. All right, dude. You know, Brendan fits in him, so just take it easy.

Yeah, Brendan's a big guy, but Brendan's not, you know, Brendan is, he's Ved out. Yeah. You know, he's got the fucking shape in all the right places. He does have a bubble ass. Yeah. Right. But he's got,

he's got narrow man hips and shit. And he's got those glutes that fucking come together and just press his fucking no room for his balls. All right, man. Just, ugh. And then those fucking hams, those thighs. All right, man. You get really strangely erotic about this. I'm just saying Brendan's got a nice fucking set of everything.

All right. And I'm sure he fits fine. And I see the show or pictures of you guys on the, you know, on the set. It's like, everyone looks so comfortable. And then I come here and it's like, I'm sitting and coach doing a podcast. You can't, you can't fly coach. No, I can't fly coach. You fly first class.

I fly, I fly cockpit. All right. I just go in and I sit in the corner of the cockpit. And they can't get you out? I'm good. Don't worry about me. I'm not going to cause any troubles. Yeah.

And they go, all right. Just sit there on the ground like a fucking giant teddy bag. You still got your bull heart calves. Yeah, I still got huge calves. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my calves. So what's he's in New York? He's interviewing Deonté Wilder, I think. Now, I don't follow the fight game.

He's a heavyweight boxer, the best American heavyweight probably. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. With a, bring Deonté Wilder up. Take a look at his body if you want to talk about. There are two men might be the best bodies that you can have. One would be. One is interviewing the guy and the other guy is getting interviewed.

Anthony Joshua and the other is that guy. Jeez. Yeah, you don't get better looking or more symmetrical than Dante Wilder. All right. Calm down Brian Man crush talent. Yeah. Well, that's a, that's a beautiful human being. Yeah. Yeah. He's simply a newbie and warrior. That last picture we just saw of him. I would never wear clothes if I had that body. I would just never, I'd walk around like, what's up?

Look at this. He's so casual as he beats the shit out of people. He should fuck. Like, he should, we need him to fuck everybody because that that's just a, he's just a specific. He's going to save the, I would present him with my wife. Yeah. I would present him. I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would. I would say, sir, you are the alpha male. I present you. I present you with my wife. I would dollar up. Yeah. I'd dollar up and I'd go, there you go. And then I would videotape it and watch it periodically. I would, I would, he would, he would give me a child. I would have, the child would be mine. Hopefully it would be a son. I would raise it to be a great warrior. Yeah. And, and I, and he, I guess, I don't know if he'd be in the child's life. He'd be, he'd be Uncle Deontay. It'd be our secret.

Right. It'd be our secret. But he would look. Exactly like him. Well, with my wife's... With your wife's coloring and his coloring and his genetics? Yeah. The Viking and the Nubian should always be breathing. We need... That's why we would take our woolly moose.

We would drape them in the finest silks and velvets. Yes. And we would take our maidens. Yes. And we would put them in the antlers of the woolly moose. I don't know if this is sort of accurate. And we would just walk them, we would just walk them right into Africa. Right.

And we would be like, ego. Ego. Ego. Ego. Ego. And then I would watch the video in ten months. And I would cry. I would cry and hit myself.

You punch yourself. Uh-huh. And then I would be mean to my wife because I would feel inadequate. And it would tear our family asunder. But I'd have a fucking great kid out of it. You'd also have a huge heart on because it would turn you on. Yeah. Because I got problems.

Yeah. Yes. It would. It would. There'd be a deep perversion. Yeah. that people would see that lives in my heart. Yeah. Which is to be outclassed.

It's called sperm competition. That's what it's called. Discovery Channel did the thing on that. They did not. Yeah, where you see another man in there, and apparently your penis is shaped with the hood, so you get the other sperm out and you get your sperm in. That's a theory.

And I subscribe to it wholeheartedly. Do you ever just go into your backyard and snap off a twig or a branch, put it into your pisshole and beat off? Bro, that's not a question I think is appropriate for it. Whatever, man. It's no rules. It's the man in the fighter in the kid. The answer is, of course not. Now, did you know that recently, I'm not sure if you knew this. Floyd Mayweather.

Mayweather Jr. Yeah. Fought. Connor McGregor. Connor McGregor. Yeah, this is old news. It might. Yes.

We know that. No, it's not. It just happened. Like last weekend. All right. Now, did you, now perhaps some of your listeners. would like to hear about your thoughts on the fight. Nope, because we've covered this ad nauseum

and you are not qualified to talk about it. Oh, you know what? Let me tell you, I sure am not. Yeah. Because I watch the fight. Yeah. I know everyone talked so much about the fight. I particularly took in a lot of what you guys had to say about it.

I was really fascinated by what Brendan had to say about it. And like, it's just his outlying opinion of, which was in my opinion, you know, proven. And the guy, you know, he fucking hung out. He fucking hung out. Yeah. He hung out. That guy. I mean, I was, you know, I was for Connor.

I was like, I think he's going to do it. And then everyone watches it. And then, you know, I'm up with my buddies in Canada. And then it's over. And then everybody has an opinion. Of course. And that's annoying to me. What makes Floyd so good.

Just shut up when it's over. Everybody wants to play. Because now it's over. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I knew it. You know, I mean, a box of that guy, he's 50. Oh.

He's like the greatest thing. I had to, like, sit there and listen to my buddies go. A couple of them are probably listening right now. My pal Mark listens to every show. Hey, Mark. Actually, Mark wasn't over at our other pal, Jamie's watching the fight. So, Mark is absolved to this. But, yeah, yeah, he said a thing.

Of course he won. Of course he won. Yeah, everybody's got a- Never been punched. Oh, yeah, I know. Everybody's got a point of view. Yeah. But what makes Floyd so good is that he fought him in a way that he's never fought anybody.

If he had wanted to sit on his back foot and get out of the way and make Connor miss the whole time, the way he did to everybody like Canello and to Mani Pacquay out, Connor obviously would have had a very hard time even laying a glove on him, but he didn't want that press. And he goes, you know what, I'm going to stand in your grill. I'm going to keep my weight on my front foot and I'm going to fight you the way. I'm just going to, I'm going to walk you down and fight you.

Is that what happened? Yes. And then, you know, he's winking at his dad in the corner. But Connor, you know, you got to give Connor credit because when Floyd sat there and fought him, Connor put his hands on his face. Yeah. But Floyd said, look, you guys know if I want to. to box him the way I box people, it would have been a very different event.

Interesting. But he's so good that he can change his style essentially and go, all right, let me see your power, you're a bigger man, I got you. You throw all your stuff at me, good stuff, and now I'm going to just knock you out. There's a rumor that he put 400 grand on himself to take Connor out in the 10th round, which I can believe because he's that good. I can believe that. What makes guys like that so good is they can download your whole game.

plan. You can just download everything you're doing. That's the difference between you and me. You know all this stuff and it's great. And I download everything you do. And I've watched wrestling since I was like seven. Yeah. Which is also fighting.

So before you tell the story. It's also fighting. So already fuck you. Already in a fight. Fuck you, I say to you because I got no respect, but keep going. Well, I don't know anything about actually wrestling. I don't know. I'm just saying I watch it.

No, or boxing. Or my feet. Yeah, but you jump around in a gym. right don't say jump around you jump around in a gym i don't jump i move i move i catch angles no no no you put on house of pain and you jump around and you jump around in there no and uh fucking uh you and tony right what's Wayne McCulloch, the great Wayne McCulloch. All right. So you jump around and he pretend he throws, you know, the focus pads and you're like, remember this.

Do it like this. Hit pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet, like a three-year-old would just go, did, did, do, do. Or, you know, when girls teach each other patty cake. Nope, that's not what it looks like. That's what it looks like. Well, no, no, not what I. When I turn my punt-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip- When I turn my punches over it, when I sit down, you

ever hear a gun go off? Yes. bang bang bang bah bah bang yeah that's not what your punches sound who who's shooting the machine gun they say that's what i'm just saying who's off in the distance shooting machine here when they're when they're behind the closed door of my gym right and i'm working yeah and i'm putting in work as we say in the fight game yeah but then you but you shouldn't say that well that's what they say well you don't deserve to say that and i'm just saying that but when i put in work yeah they go i got a funny story about this they go who's shooting the machine gun by the way what what i love about boxing and when

you're an actor like me and you're 50 and you're right hop around a ring and maybe I spar with headgear with a guy who's really never boxed before and I still get hit and and you know maybe I get the best of him because he hasn't been doing it as long or maybe he's just not very athletic what'll happen is you you will trainers when they're talking to somebody else in front of you you know what they'll say it's great and of course they know better and they'll say they'll say to make you feel good and look good they'll go bro this guy's got skills, he can box. And of course, I, of course I can't. Of course I can't. And I know what they're doing. But it's very common for them to give you props, even if you suck. Right. And it's almost like I don't know what it is, but there's almost a thing for that in that where they'll just be like,

bro, he's got skills. He can move around. Now, of course. They're keeping it positive. They're in the gym. Put me in the gym with a guy, a good amateur, and I get knocked out. I don't know about that. I don't know about that, but I will tell you this, for all the things you know about boxing, and like I said, you hop and skip around a gym, and you hip, pip, pip, pip, pip, yep, hip, uh, I don't know anything about the actual, uh, act of, of professional wrestling or how any of it works, you know what I mean, physically, I don't know, I just watched it on TV. You know, I'm kind of a fan, I've always been a fan, but I tell you what, if I had Arne Anderson and Tully Blanchard holding you out at the wrists and ankles, and I came off the second rope with my knee and drove it right into your

shin, your leg would break. Okay. And then I would wear a t-shirt that says, I broke Brian Callan's leg. And I would also like to say that if there are any listeners of the aforementioned 10-minute podcast and the fighter and the kid who listen to both shows and appreciate both shows. Well, when we're talking about fighting and the kid, there's broth shows. Yep. I would like for you to please

uh, please Photoshop a picture of me wearing a t-shirt that says, I broke Brian Callan's leg. I don't need you going out to the hands like this. Or, because I'm going to tell you this. Or you can make a Photoshop of Brian wearing a t-shirt that says, Will Saso broke my leg.

Yeah, but see, excuse me. And no, hold on. You guys are going to share it all over the internet. You're forgetting something. I'm good friends with Goldberg. Yeah, yeah, Bill Goldberg. He's wonderful man. He's wonderful man. And he just had a run.

He won the universal title. He's my buddy. You don't know any of this stuff. You had him on the show. You don't know what the heck to ask him. Okay. At all. Okay.

Take it easy. But Brendan does because also Bill Goldberg is a fan of the fight game. He loves M. Maitai. He's been training for years. He'll beat the shit out of most people. He will beat the shit. Including you.

Well, okay. I'm not going to say he's not. I'm not going to say he's not. He'll beat the shit out of you while talking to me. Okay. Literally while ordering food. Hey, man. That's very disrespectful.

You know that, right? Don't whistle when you do. Talk to me. No, man. We're not going to get into that. We're having a nice time today. All the order's food. I don't want to get all.

I'm talking. All right. Stop whistling right now. I will get upset. And you will catch things in the face. There's lights and there's pictures. And this thing here. My water is large.

And the table is heavy. Fucking. That water is so stupid. Watch this. It's literally the biggest thing. You could use that as a weapon or as a doorstop or as, like, Dude.

Okay, listen, this is what you could use that water for. You know on a spaceship, when the door's going to close because they have to seal it because the alien's coming and you're going to be locked in and you're going to die? I could, like, and it's fucking, like, it's a steel door. Yeah. I could put that in front of that steel door and I'd be able to squeeze through. This would be, yeah, this would be the stars of the movie like, yeah, it's like, it holds the door open.

Yeah. Yeah, Bill Goldberg has a gray goatee. which may lure you in and go, oh, he's got a silver beard. But he's older. He's older. You guys are probably around the same age. 50. 50.

Oh, wow. Okay. Both 50. Half a century. But then he takes his shirt off, right? And then it's a different thing. Yeah. He's an athlete.

I would love nothing more than for guys who have made their name as professional wrestling. And certainly Bill Goldberg's, you know, done all sorts of things and, you know, hosted television, done many things with his career. But I like, I would love. for guys who have made their name in sports entertainment or whatever you want to call it, to just go out and beat people up like it used to be in the 70s. Yeah. You know?

When Tully Blanchard, Narn Anderson would spread Brian Callan out by the wrists and ankles. And I would jump off the second, seven rope with my knee, and put it right in your shin and break your shin and take your bones and go seal hunting with your bones. Seal hunting with Brian Callan's bones. No? No. Would you, if you ever, heaven forbid, had to lose an appendage, would you let me have the bones? I, I...

So I could make a necklace or... Fuck you. A knife. No, no, fuck you, but no, I wouldn't. How cool would that be? Now, listen. If you lost your foot, like, let's say sometimes, I'm always like, hey, I go to my doctor. I'm like, do I straight up have, like, so much diabetes?

You know, what's going on? Would you rather lose from the knee down or from the elbow down? Oh. For me, it's knee down. With respect to everybody who has had to make that decision, no, actually, nobody's ever had to make that decision. But with respect to people who've had one or the other or both. Well, because I know some guys in veterans.

And I'm sure you do, Nate, who've lost, Nate was a Marine for seven years to shut the fuck up. All right. He's over there all quiet. But you shut the fuck up. Thank you very much for your service. That's a patriot. I appreciate it. I do appreciate it.

And he's a badass dog. He's over there. He's over there. What's your company? He's over here like just like, just like, Like the sweetest pit bull. Yeah, yeah. He's got a set of arms on him.

Yeah, yeah, he does. Come over here. Come over. Get on the mic for a second, man. Brian Mancush, Cullen's got something to say to you. Now, this guy could choke me out in about three seconds. Yeah. Right?

And he's a looker, too. He's a looker, too. Of course he is. He came in a train my dogs and my wife and my daughter. Yeah. My wife and my daughter got all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Yeah. So I had to discipline both of them.

They were both sent to their. fucking room. I'm sure they were really happy to have the room. And then there are pictures of him and all my wife's friends were like, well, I want him to train my dog. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. And then I had to, I had to make a rumor. I noticed there's no wedding ring. I had to say, no wedding ring. No, he's got a girl, but there's no wedding ring. Okay, so that's enough for, but I'm saying the pictures that are sent to Amanda's friends. Yeah. They see no one. That's right. And they're just like, oh, I would like for him to come over and train my dog. That's right. And I'm doing air quotes. Yep. For those of you listening, train my dog.

which means something my something else. That's right. That's right. Like discipline me and teach me how to be. Well, anyway. Or chumum. There's a lot of discipline that's involved in the dog training community as well, for sure. There is, right?

But contrary to the popular belief, it's not about making a submissive dog, which I always try to tell people. It's about confidence. Like when you came in here, confidence was through the roof. Thank you. Through the roof. Thank you very much. Tell us how. Tell us how.

Tell us how. A lot of people don't say that about me. Nah. Fuck this guy. I really do appreciate. Fuck this guy. People see me. roll into a room and bang things with my knee

and they go sit down shut up, sit down, dummy sit down there, yeah you did but he knows I come in here, I almost knocked everybody over with the setup and everything's very, you know, with this kind of electrical, with this kind of equipment,

you can't be knocking shit over, I do it all the time with my stuff and I'm banging my knees off of things and that's what's up. Yeah, confidence. Nate'll teach you how to, like he'll teach a dog how to bark but not bite and and look fierce as shit. Tell us how you do that with a dog.

It's pretty fascinating. As far as teaching a dog how to be... Just getting a dog. If I want a dog to just look really mean and bark up a storm... But not bite. Not bite when an intruder comes in. Tell us how you do that.

So like an alert command, right? Yeah. So everything when it comes to working with a dog, though, is showing them the behavior you want them to perform and then giving them some sort of value back for that behavior. Oh, yeah.

So with a dog, if somebody wants a dog to show a strong appearance and be that deterrent factor, then what you do is you basically show the dog that when they become confident the bad guy goes away. So we'll have somebody come around the side and the dog's, you know, on a leash so he can't go attack the person because that would be bad. And you put up this strong front.

And the second the dog barks, you act like that bark is like a super bark from the movie Bolt. So the dog barks and you're like, oh, like you just were hit by that bark. And the dog goes, holy crap, I could bark you away from me. And the more you do it, the higher their confidence comes. And then we want to put it on a command. We tell the owner, we say, hey, what you're going to say is whatever you want your command to be. So you want it to be easy or alert or whatever. Or they say that command? Right, right.

You're not telling the dog to fuck people. No, but that would be my command. Well, easy is good because you could play the role like, I was telling the dog, easy. Easy, relax, buddy, right? So when they say easy, then you come out as a bad guy. Dog barks at you after enough of those. It becomes a pattern that the dog recognizes. And when the owner says easy, dog goes, bad guys coming and starts barking. Right. And then, so when the cops come around later, they say everyone was he was telling the dog easy easy right it's not his fault and the cops are like oh wow this guy's laying here like a bunch of taco meat and it's not you know it's not nate's fault he was saying easy easy then they take the dog away and you get another dog those are those are perfect

for dogs when you don't want them to bite oh okay right it's just that deterrent because most people see that vicious dog barking they're going to back off that's what we do with brian when brian starts barking he's like um this I'm that and I fight and I box it pippip And we go, oh, oh, oh, Brian, you're so strong. Oh, and Brendan's like, I'm a fucking world-class fighter, but oh, I'm a 50-year-old friend, Brian, and hopping around a gym. Oh, yeah.

But here's the thing. You find weapons of opportunity, though. Yeah. I already notice that about you. That's what they talk about in the Marine Corps. Weapons of opportunity. Yeah. You're talking about the subscriber.

He walks in, he walks in and he's got his weapons. Everything is a weapon to world. I'm looking. I'm looking around. Look, I'm a big guy can handle myself. You know, I can just, I can run into people. and mash them against walls. I can hug them too tight and cry.

But another thing is, I'm wiry. If it's not nailed down, you're catching it in the fucking head. You better watch out. If you got like a big rotary phone, the kind of things that are in a room in 2017, a rotary phone, a fax machine. A turntable. A turntable. Shit like that.

A cannon. Yeah, a big mixer, big electric mixer. A reaching kid. A ice box. Any of these things that would be in a room. A Geiger calendar. encounter a fucking a fucking

an abacus if you let me ask you this I know so Nate's got his own show on Discovered on Animal Planet called from rescue dog to super dog what's the name of your if people like what's the name of your dog training company well I have here's Legacy Foundation which is a

nonprofit here is legacy foundation yes named after my dog if I okay so if I wanted to he's got Malinwas bite you in the fucking in your Canadian whatever I actually saw you about a month or so ago at the TCA event. Oh, okay.

What was you doing? Suck on dough? Oh, he was walking around. I want to say hi, but I'm like, I don't want to be that guy who comes over. And, you know, I'm sure you get enough people coming up and say that. No, nobody. Nobody recognizes. Well, no, people do.

They just don't want to say anything because they don't want to be that guy, you know. Oh, you were great in the 80s or where I'm fucking did. You know what I was there for, the TCA's? What? Louder Milk, coming to the audience network and direct TV now on October 17. Louder. Louder Milk with Ron Livingston and Will Sassau. That's right, guys.

It's Loudermilk, October 17th or 18th. Walk, don't run. I think it's the 17th. Loudermilk on the AT&T's audience network. And if you miss it. It's their banner network. If you miss that show, oh well. They bought, nope, they bought DirecTV.

If you're rolling out, if you miss it, watch anything else. Hey, you know, there's a guy named Ron Livingston who's about the height, age, weight, and look of Brian Callan. Way more talented. And he's with Will Saso, a louder milk. Yeah. Thanks for the advertisement. That's great. If I gave you a million dollars and I said,

Nate, and I'm being serious with this question, I have this Malinwa. I want to be able to have it. Malamara? Will Malinwa. It's like the Malamara? It's a Dutch Shepherd. It's a Dutch Shepherd.

It's a Dutch Shepherd. Is that the marshmallow chocolate? It's a Dutch Shepherd. Is that a Samoa? It's spelled M. Girl scale cookie? Malamar. O-U-S.

How would, could you train a dog to bite somebody somewhere specific? OIS, not O-U-S. Could you train a dog to have them bite somebody somewhere specific? Yeah, well, if you gave me a million dollars to train the most perfect dog for you, I would hire better trainers than me. And then I would keep. That's good. All right.

That makes sense. But yeah, incredible dog, beautiful. And you know, when you guys were talking about what part of the leg or arm or whatever, There was actually somebody on the show, Rescue Dog to Super Dog, where she had a rock climbing accident. She fell from about 40 feet and lost one of her legs. And so we trained a dog for her to turn on and off the light switch to retrieve items for her. It was really cool.

The dog would actually run down the hallway and press the elevator button for her because she had this long hallway. And she had the accident before or after she had already been in that location. How the fuck did you teach a dog to do that? Well, it's, you know, like anything else, you break it down to the smallest pieces and then you put it together for the final. product so I just taught the dog to target a sticky pad. So every time he touched the sticky pad, I rewarded him for that. And then I moved the sticky pad closer and closer to the light switch or the elevator button.

And then eventually the sticky pad's gone, but the dog still does the behavior hoping for a reward. And this little guy would come cruising around the corner, jump up and hit that elevator button. Ah, it was adorable. So if I showed a dog a picture of Will's nub, because he's got a nub. I got a little tiny. A little nub.

Maybe the smell would help. Oh, yeah. It smells bad. And it looks like... And it looks like... You ever see like a... Like a... Like a...

Like a... Like a... In the, uh... Yeah. In the grocery store. And there's like a big pack of them for like $2.50. Perfect. Just grab one of them out, throw it away.

That little dickhead. Yeah. That's kind of like what my nub looks like. Let it sit for a few days. It's discolored. And just reward him every time he comes close and then he bites you in the dong. Now, um, all right. Well, thank you, Nate.

But I got a heavy bag. Definitely. Should I? All right. No. Stay there. What are you talking about? That is a beautiful dog.

They're incredible. They're really, really driven dogs, but they're definitely not for an inexperienced dog owner. You need either... You either need experience or you need to be working with somebody who's experienced. Sorry, I was saying you... Sooner or later, you're going to have our friend Katie Mixon on the show. Yeah, got to have, right. Yeah, you got to have Katie Mixon, who's American Housewife is her show on ABC.

And I'm buddies with her and her husband, bro. who's a former Olympian. We're talking about him on the show. But there's a dog that they have. They have a couple of these dogs. What can you tell us about this? Because they have a 190-pound Presa-Canario. And then another one that's like 170 pounds.

They scare me. These dogs are very powerful. I mean, just terrifying to be around sweetie pies. Yeah, until they kill you. Well, they're lion-hunting dogs, right? Well, Preta-canarias, I think, I believe, are basically a combination of a mastiff. I mean, they're powerful dogs, and there are people. that actually train these dogs for some of the protection sports out there.

And this would be considered an off-breed for the sport. You know, most people use the German Shepherd or the Malamara or the Dutch Shepherd. But I have seen people work with these dogs and use them for competitive obedience and training, protection training sports specifically. Yeah, it's a big dog. They are powerful, definitely. Now, could you train, here's what I'm getting at, could you train four press of canaryos to take the place of, let's say, you know, put them in the sort of modified

the wheel wells of smaller car like a fiat or a smart car with one chair in the middle because again we don't like these coach seats with it like a nice like a nice throne maybe some regal looking uh leather and wood like my headboard at home regal big comfy chair for me to just go around my neighborhood go grocery shopping with four press of canaryos sort of like and they just walk next to you no they no they carry the cab of this smart car that's a pack and that's a dangerous

I am afraid of, I love, I've had pit bulls my whole life. Possibly possible. I'm afraid of a dog that big because I don't know how I would control 160. Look at that. Look at the picture of the Prescanario fighting the bear. Well, it's not real. You see that over on the far right? It ain't real.

It's totally real. Bear will kill a bus can. There it is. There'll eat a press area. Look at that. That's a real picture. Nope. Someone should, someone should Photoshop a t-shirt onto that bear that says, I broke Brian

County's leg. No, that's not true. Someone, please, Photoshop a T-shirt onto that bear that says, I broke Brian Callan's leg. Could you somehow put this picture out to the people? Anyway, it's the only picture of a bear fighting a press of canario on the internet. The press canaryo's got a chain around its neck. That's Brian. And then the bear's swatting it.

I have a, I do stand up to larger animals and I will fight. Do you stand up comedy for larger animals? What do you think of press canarias? That's a dangerous. I mean, they're very friendly dogs, but I, I just worry about those specific breeds that where you don't know who's been breeding them. And they're kind of still a rare dog. So there's always that unpredictable factor.

Like not in the dog. The dogs are friendly. You can train and bite the fuck out of people. But for the most part, they're so powerful that I worry about a dog like that. Yeah, a dog like that, I would basically do a lot of fun obedience with that dog. I want everything to be fun, enjoyable, entertaining. I wouldn't want to, you know, a lot of times when you have a dog, people have come up to me and they said, hey, can you do this protection training for my dog?

It's like, well, you really don't need that because a dog a lot of times is a deterrent. And you don't want to be put in a position where you have this liability now. Not a dog like that. You go somewhere. And, you know, someone goes and pets a dog because everybody does that when you have a dog out in town. Someone goes in pets. You're not watching. You're talking on the phone or whatever.

Now you have this problem. So, you know, a lot of times something like that, I want to have fun with that dog and show them that the world is a pleasant, awesome place. And nobody's going to mess with a dog that big anyways. Yeah, that's true. You know. And I'm not a dog's house, you know. If you come into somebody's house who has a press canario, you have a machine guy.

Yeah, now you go the other way. Well, they said that. This guy said, look, if a guy's going to come through your barking dog and you have a big shepherd, you have a press canary, he has a gun. He's in there to kill you. Right. And he's a professional. You better have, you better be waiting on the other side of that dog with a gun. Talking about that, here's something really interesting.

One of my previous landlords, her husband used to do photography or I don't know what the terminology for this would be, but he would take photos of how much. homicide scenes in Los Angeles. And every single scene that he had been to, they never owned a dog. So a dog was like an incredibly huge deterrent because most people, if they're going to rob a place, they want to get in when no one's there, get what they want and leave. And most people like dogs. I want a French bulldog. I love French bulldog puppies.

They look like babies. French bulldogs are adorable. So would a cute little French bulldog keep me from getting murdered in the night? Well, you may, no. I mean, the dog's going to be incredibly adorable, right? And nobody's going to want to hurt that dog. They're going to go to the next house. Dude, my German Shepherd, I grabbed my daughter, and she screamed.

I was tickling her. My German Shepherd bit me on the calf. She just went, boop, and I went, whoa. And she goes, hey, stop that. Probably play. It was probably playing. Well, she got, I think she felt she was also protecting. She was like, like that.

And I went, oh, it was like a warning. It was really interesting. Now, could we train a press canario to have a cute little, We train a big press canario to have a cute little French bulldog bark so that would be... Lure them, you mean? Lure in the criminals so that they can tear them to shreds. You'd be surprised at what you could teach you. That makes me think one of my friends, she has a Malinua, and she taught the dog to whisper.

So she would say whisper and the dog would basically whisper back. It'd be a very soft little... How the fuck do you do that? You got to ask her? Well, I mean, it's rewarding behaviors that the dogs do maybe naturally, right? So you teach the dog the marker. So when the dog sneezes, for example, you can reward that. You go good sneeze.

And then after a while they start to associate sneeze with reward. And they'll sneeze. I wouldn't say good sneeze, though. I would use whatever the dog's marker is. So like a yes or clicker or something like that. So the moment the dog does that sound, she marked it and continued to do it until it became a behavior that the dog offered up. And then she just named it.

Caesar Milan said he used to train. He had to train the people first. It's always people. Yeah, definitely. It's not the dog. It's always. A lot of times the dogs can figure it out pretty quickly. You take somebody who's an incredible dog handler and they can make a dog that's not so well trained look phenomenal.

And you can take somebody who knows nothing about handling a dog and it's going to make a dog who's well trained look like it's poorly trained. So a lot of times it is more important to know what to do. I tell people all the time dog training is not easy or rather dog training is not difficult once you know what you're supposed to do. And a lot of times I'm afraid people are going to figure out how easy it is and I'm not going to have a job anymore. People are like, we don't need to hire a dog trainer. This is easy. No, it's not easy. It's subtle.

No, you need it because there's pussy's like bruns. Ryan who don't know what to do with their own dog. Don't say that. Don't say that. So you got to... He actually knew a lot about dog training when we first started working together. I was impressed. Oh, did you do some reading?

Nope. You're going to drop some knowledge about dogs? Nope. Had dogs my whole fucking life. Oh, wow. Well, you also talked about training a bear, I think, on your podcast before you're talking about Clicker training with a bear. Yes.

You're not trained as I read. Big teddy bear. Yep. No. No. No swatting. No swatting. No swatting.

No swatting. No swatting. You got to hit the bear. Oh, fuck. Oh. Yeah. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. So every once in a while, polar bears got to eat a nice big handful of shit and go to sleep. That's right. So the Zinuit can sneak up on it and stab it in the face with its own bones. That's why. Rompin, stomping, homo sapiens, we take what we want and we eat your flesh. Most bears are not like will, though, and we'll let you correct them. Most bears, yeah.

No, you don't, that's what, you do not tell a bear what to do. Right. You reward their behavior, and as they're moving in that direction, you say, good job. And so they start to mark good behavior or your commands with getting a reward. Right. They start to seek out. You don't go, A, no, and hit them in the face. Although there was that guy who got in trouble, he was training chimpanzees.

He was training the sheep. No, you wouldn't. I'll tell bear what to do. No, you wouldn't. Very nicely, he would. But with chipponzies, the chimpanzee. Don't say it like that. Bring up a hairless chimpanzee, please.

Just say chimp or chimpanzee. Don't say chimpanzee. But I speak French. So, um, uh, did you learn the word? But it's a, um, it's a similin, it's very,

very far. Look at that. Take a look at there. Yeah, just, just click on that. And then just keep going. These are chimps that had allergies. They're full grown animals.

Now take a look at the arms on that back away. It looks like the Amelianenko brother's dad or something. Yeah. That actually looks like my dad, my sweetheart dad. He will pull your fucking head off your, literally off your body. This trainer said, this woman in San Diego Zoo, I showed her that. She goes, yeah, he'll pull your head off your body.

Look at that. It looks like a statue. Look at that. Look at how close set those shoulders are. And good luck. Good luck when he brings you close. Yeah, that's why you never put yourself in that situation. Why does he, he's got the balls and dick like me. He's got the little chicken gizzard dick.

Yeah, they don't have dicks. They have no dicks. But his fingers and hands are built for cruelty. They're built for cruelty into break and pull things apart. That's our close. close ancestor. Yep. And what this guy was doing, he was training the chimps and he was punching him in the face,

for real. And they were like, dude. And he goes, look, these things are like, bam, bam, this is how I train him. There's got to be a better way to train a chimp. He got in big trouble for it. He was a trainer for a holiday. I'm going to stick with dogs. Yeah.

I know them. I like them. They're great. Chimps. I'm not worried about a dog ripping my arm. I've all bullshit aside. If you've been, I've been on the set where they had full grown chimps. Hey, Nate, you are a mechanic for a semi-trunk.

and class C vehicles. What do you think of this submarine? I don't know. I don't know anything about a nuclear submarine. Yeah, but we punched it. I don't just don't do it. I don't know. I got to work on these trucks.

What do you talk about? Hey, check out the submarine here. You want to get inside it and fuck around? No, it'll blow up or slam into something. Or go way down to the ocean. Our fucking chest will explode. What are you talking about? Well, I know a guy who punched it.

Yeah, that's well, you're right. Stick to it. Stick to dogs. Stick to what you know. Unless you know about chimpanzees. Well, yeah, I mean, you were at least having a good comparison, though, as far as utilizing positive reinforcement, though, to teach somebody to do something that you want repeated.

Right? So you're saying, so that was a good comparison, and because we were talking about bears as well, you can't use any sort of corrections to get a bear to do something because he's just going to throw you across the room. That's right. You have to get him to want to do the behaviors by rewarding with positive reinforcement.

And that would be the same with that. I would not want one of those angry with me. Not by any... Once you go, I need a sweet fish. There you go. Good boy. Good boy. I always keep them happy with your candy.

There you go. There you go. Good boy. That was good sweet fish. Good boy. Oh, sweet. Do you have a dog now, though? No, I don't have a dog now.

Oh, you got to get yourself that little Frenchie. I'll train it for you. Really? I would love a Frenchie. That would be amazing. I think they're such cute dogs. Yeah, one of my last roommates had a Frenchie, and the dog was adorable. Plus, you can even do if you want, you can do bite work with a Frenchie.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. You can. They love it. They love the toys. No, no, no. No. No. No. That's bad. So when he takes his paws to his nub like that, I got to say no. Good job. Now, now, uh, mash your... No, hey! Now, match your face together.

A good boy. I can get you another sweet fish there. He's repeating the behavior. This is beautiful. No, no, I need. And stick a couple of digits up your shitter there. Humiliate yourself. Humiliate yourself. Humiliate yourself. fucking bear. Humiliate yourself. That's it. There's a little tree.

That's it. That's it. Come on, you fucking bear. Humiliate yourself. Brian trains bears to thumb their shitters and jerk off and he gives them a Swedish fish. Go ahead. It's the most fucked up thing. So they're saying to you, hey, wait, you hear about this guy who's punching chimpanzees?

What a fucking asshole? Just gauging how fucked up you like it. Hey, come home over to my place. Check out my garage. Nate, go in there. Holy fuck, you have a bear. It's cool, man. It's cool.

I give him Swedish fish, and he thumbs his shitter and jerks off for us. What the fuck of the shit is this? My wife and kids love it. Just make sure you don't run out of sweetest fish. I got to get him and just move his balls around a little bit. Go ahead and move your ball. There you go. Hey, that's a good point.

There you go. That's it. He loves sweet fish. Nun, nun, none. That's it you dumb bear. You fucking bear. None, none. That's it you fucking bear.

Why do you jar a sweetest? I can. Ah, shit. Die, die, die. Die, you fucking bear. I'll get another one. Oh, that was a good sweet fish. That was a bizarre.

Yeah, that was weird. Let's take a break. I got to pee. Very cool. Back from our piss break. I was just talking about how I saw Hamilton last night. And it's... Oh, last night.

Yeah, it's a fucking masterpiece. It really is. And I define him. I guess a masterpiece in the sense that when you've been in a business for a long time and then you see a work of art or like a sort of somebody do something and you go I don't know how you did that like I don't even know I can't even conceive how you could have put a story together and songs like that together on that level and there were probably 36 songs I mean I don't know how it was three hours three hours yeah and the dancing the singing I'm not a big

musical theater guy right and really yeah right but I could watch that all day long it was just it was It's just, it's a national treasure, man. I swear to God. I got to see it. I have not seen it. And yeah, during Brian's piss break, he made me come with him into the bathroom and told me about it. And, yeah, you were saying you went by yourself, which is how I prefer to go to, like,

concerts and stuff anyway. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to do it. I brought my wife and my daughter, but they sat, they had to sit because tickets were so hard. Right. I had, I sat alone and they sat together. Right. There you go.

There you go. Yeah. But there's something about sitting alone in the theater that is, I like. You can have your own private. experience. Well, I was saying during the break, I was also saying that last time I was in New York, my good pal, Christy Mentopoulos,

whom you know also, played Mo in the Three Stoges. He plays Russ in Silicon Valley. He's an incredible actor and a chameleon. He did a stint on he was the romantic lead of Waitress, the musical on Broadway that was written, all the music was written by Sarah Borellis, who's a, you know,

a music star, pop star in her own right? And she did a 10-week stint also playing the female lead. So I went to this show by myself in New York and yeah, it was incredible. And I'm sitting by myself and there was this nice couple to my left. And on my right was this mom and two daughters. And everyone was there to see Sarah Borellis because it's these, you know, these big fans of hers. And maybe my, maybe my, maybe might have cried. Oh, dude.

Might have cry a little bit. Hey, I fucking cry in theory. I cry. And I'm alone and I'm crying. because it's that good and that glorious. And you know what I cry about? I go like this, I swear to God. I go, oh, I go, that's what human beings are capable of under favorable circumstances. It's interesting that we have ability to sing. Singing is... You're getting really emotional, right?

And I almost cried. I might have cried a lot. when Sarah Borellis And she goes She was She sang very beautiful Excuse me She was singing very beautiful songs

And she goes She is She is good Sarah Borellis It's a really good Sarah Borellis in a beautiful pie She is gone But she used To be...

Really good. Oh, God. Hold on. Are you farting out of your face? Oh, God. Yeah, I might have got Misty. Yeah. Fuck, it was good.

Yeah, no, no, no. I got that. I got that. I'm gonna go again. I don't like bad crying, acting, crying. Hey, man. Where you go, I'm... For me.

Your kids will do that. Yeah. Well, you guys are just me mean. And I'm like, you're fake crying and it's annoying me. Even though I love you as my child, you're annoying. me right now. But like and just like Nate would train a dog wouldn't you do some laughter training then to say

you're fucking around without saying fuck. Don't the kids. Hey you fucking kid. They're going to learn the real world. Right. That's right. And when you say hey, hey stop fucking around. You're not actually crying. Do they start giggling and laughing? They do when Uncle Will's there because I'm the fun uncle. I make them laugh. I believe

in humor for all circumstances. That's true. It drives my wife crazy. But for me, I believe in humor for fucking everything. Brian, if I can say something about my friend, Brian Callan, that's true. You would. I think there's room for humor. No, if you're on fire.

Yeah. There's room for humor. My buddy, if you ever write a book, that's what it should be called. My buddy, Dave Otley, who has to have a very, very dangerous operation, he's got, he had Spital Bifida, so he doesn't have a neck and he has a hunchback and he's, you know, it's a hard life for him right now. And his spine is crushing his lungs. So he's in pain all the time and he gets shingles and, you know, he's having a hard time.

But funny as shit comic. Yeah. Always positive. Yeah. And I can never help but to just say things that like, I don't know, like, well, did you ever think that maybe you were this way because you're a sinner? Jesus. Yeah. I say stuff like that.

Oh, boy. And he can't get enough of it or he'll tell me how he's in pain. And I try to not. I try to not get sex. aroused by his pain. Oh, that's just intense. He's like, you're so sick, and I'll make a video, and he sends it to his wife. Oh, boy.

And then she laughs. But all you have is, it's about humor, you fucking, I'm sorry that you have that issue with your, that your spine looks like an S and it's crushing your fucking lungs. Deal with it. My mom is, my mom is the comedy of the family, and she's like, her side of the family is just sing and dance. And it's an Italian family. My mom and dad are Italian.

And my cute little mom who's like, you know, she's this tiny little cute potato. And so she's 79 years old and she just had a pacemaker put in, which is an amazing thing nowadays. It's like an outpatient. It's very fast. It's a couple hours. Really? Yeah, it's like two or three hours. What is it anyway?

And it's local anesthetic. She does not go to sleep. Pacemaker basically, you know, they make an incision. They put it just like right in, but they just put it in a low. They can put it on the right, but they usually put it on the left. and a and there we are and they send a little electrode a little wire down into the

meat of the heart and if it goes below whatever the doctor decides 50 beats per heart per minute it just shocks it to keep it going so my cute little mom had a pacemaker put in and so we're going in there and she's getting into the bed and they're about to wheel her off and stuff and so she got into her smock and she's getting into the thing

and she's always getting around and she says to the nurse she goes I hope I have a girl this time. That's very funny. The nurse didn't know what, the nurse didn't know what to say. That's very funny. Yeah, constantly, you know. I just think that there's never a place where humor doesn't work.

I think it's important. And I think, uh, sometimes it doesn't work when you're on, you know, on stage doing stuff. But, um, yeah, you know, when you're, sometimes things can be so brutal in life. But for the most part, let's always get them laughing. Yeah, but if you're up there and, and people are not really responding. never happens to you're a you're a fucking dynamo and and you crush the rooms best in the world yeah okay you know what that's not me that's what everybody else is well

Brian Callan's one of the funniest people on the planet okay I will give you that yeah and uh absolutely all right sh shh shh I'm just but I'm paying you a compliment so just but don't don't don't do that don't do that hold on a second I don't deal well with that don't fucking shit me man shut up and um shut up so when I'm paying you a compliment Shut. Just shut up. Okay. Shut up for a second.

So when you're... Oh. There you go. Hold on. Go ahead. Thumb your... Thumb your... Thumb your...

Thumb your... There you go. You're fucking dumb bear. So when you're up on stage, right? And you're shredding and you're killing. Yeah. And then you try something else that's new. You try something out.

Yeah. When it goes over like shit. Nope. Doesn't. Then that's not funny. Yeah. Okay. That's what I'm trying to make you fucking bear.

That's my fucking bear. That's my fucking bear. fucking complex point. Yeah. Squeeze your balls a little too hard so it hurts. There you go.

There you go. Humillate yourself a stupid bear. Good, good. There's it. That's what sweet fish are. That's how the Inuit find the polar bear.

Yep, I know. When you're fishing Swedish fish and he's over in the 7-11 parking lot and the polar bear just backs his nuts up to that air compressor.

And Oopick and his friends are like let's send a fucking femur bone into this fucking polar bear's neck. He's eating Swedish fish and sourkeys over by the 7-11 pushing his balls up against the air compressor. You hear it? And they all pile in their fucking Ford F-150 and head over there.

And drive a femur bone, a sharpened femur bone in the bowler. Or just smash the fucking truck into the bear and shit. Because they've attached the spear to the front of the fucking... Right. They got the thing all mad maxed out with a bunch of bones, spears in front. And just, yeah, and fucking... What's his face? Tom Hardy on the front of the front of the thing. front of it like

don't eat polar bear liver I think it's got I think it's got so much vitamin A or some kind of vitamin that you'll fucking die you'll just die of overdosed that's an incredible

like you'll bleed out like it will I think your body won't be able to clot blood or some crazy shit that's tremendous yeah that it has that's its defense oh yeah it's like go ahead and kill me but if you eat my liver I'm too healthy for you I'll make you bleed don't eat my fucking liver fucking that's rookie mistake to go right for the liver

when you kill a polar bear I go for the thigh meat. It's amazing how these animals have advanced and how they have evolved over the years. You believe that the world is 10,000 years old and flat, though, right? Who, I do not. I do not, sir. You were telling me, nope, you were telling me recently.

You're spreading rumors now. No, I'm not spreading rumor. You're trying to create this Christian fundamentalist thing around me, and I'm not that guy. Yeah, but Brian, you said that you said, if I know my friend Brian. Yeah, careful now. Recently, I'm not, I'm not trying to spread shit.

You claim that the earth is, is 10,000 years old and flat. Okay, I never said that world. Yes. You're spreading rumors now and people are going to think about. And you were, you said, you said, I'm, it was a while ago. Okay, careful now. It was like about a year and a half ago.

You said, buy gum. The world is 10,000 years old. Say by gum and it's flat or Ted Cruz will not be the next president of the United States. God, damn. I never said. That's what you said. I'm sorry. I didn't say that.

Just reporting the news. Stick your whole hand up your ass. There you go. There you go. There you go. There you go. No. No.

No. No. No. There you go. on hand for you. It's fucking, it does control me. You low esteem bear.

Low self-esteem bear. My bear's got low self-esteem. He'll do anything I tell him for fucking sweet fish. He just cut his claws off and he just fucking pushes his whole paw. Let's go to some current events because I got shit to do. I got a kung fu class I have to get to and everything else.

Gee whiz. All right, well this is a I don't want to bum everyone out, but it's in the news, right? I was watching on Instagram these buildings fall down in Mexico. I mean, wow. It's a heavy.

It's a heavy situation. Sometimes the earth just shrugs and goes, get off me. Also, in Mexico, the building standards are probably not not that up to par. No, they're not. And there's a little clip of this video. I saw this.

I am not seeing this. We're watching a video. A couple people in the middle of the street. That's her building? People get so terrifying. So that yellow building behind them. Okay. You'll see how fast.

Oh, no. Well, remember, a building's mostly air. The World Trade Centers were 95% air. It's air, right? It's all air. And it's just, you know, one thing falls on top of the other. You've seen a bunch of the buildings collapse the same way, too. They go instantly.

They went instantly down. They go straight down. Boy, oh, boy. When the structures compromised, it falls in on itself. That's too much. That's why the World Trade Center didn't fall over. They're like, it could have been, it had to be detonated because that's the way it falls. Did it?

Did they put charges in there? Is that what the CIA did guys? I don't know. You can see. Or did they do that? Or did maybe Alex Jones has a theory on, on the Mexico earthquake. They're making a fucking frogs day. Yeah.

Did the CIA do that? Did they rig- Explain Tower 7? Yeah. They got, they got the- Hillary's a lizard and she took Tower 7 and put charges in it. Yeah. And they make a fucking frogs day.

All right. Take it easy. Alex. Well, why don't you tell me why the Tower 7 fell on its own? If you're so, I'm here with a Navy SEAL. Well, you're the Navy SEAL. I'm a Navy SEAL. I'm a Navy SEAL. I, I am, I'm a Navy SEAL. I own 87 dogs and all of them were trained by Nate. And when I was the governor of Minnesota, I had over 100 dogs. Now, what say you to that? If you're such a patriot, I don't know how 9-11, you know what happened. What's it happening with your dogs?

I guess you must have been there. I guess you must have been there. I wasn't. And Nate would tell you that a press of canario, that six press of canaryos could. Don't say take down a building because that's not factual. I was not going to say that. I was going to say they could, four of them could take out a nuclear submarine. That's not true.

We had them doing it in the Marines. I don't know about that. I was a Navy seal. I know you were. You said that. I live in the Baja. All right. I spend less than six months a year in the continental United States of America.

I have a thousand gallons of potable water out there. I don't know what you're saying. And I have a silo full of tortillas. Okay, but what is the point of what the, what is the point? Well, why don't you tell me? I don't know, man. You tell me. Why don't you tell me what the point is?

I'm trying to follow. If you're such a patriot. I am a patriot, but you know, just because you have a silo for what? Now, you want to show us pictures of shaving and shorn chimps. and you've never stepped in the in the arena of battle with a chimp and when you do you'll be thumbing your ass for sure because I have gone in hand-to-hand combat with many chimps you have yes armed only with a polar bear femur and that's something you don't know anything about I don't believe you I'll be over there in denang and I'll be over there on the Hocheeman Trail

there are no chimps there and I'll take the chimps in with me while you're over here taking paddy cake lessons I'm not, I, with your boxing war is over and... The Vietnam War never started. What? What did you just say? I said the Vietnam War started so that it could never end. So, again, why did I never said that?

I don't know what you tell me what I said. I don't fucking know. I'm trying to follow you, Jesse. I'll tell you what I said. What did you say? I said the Vietnam War was started by chimpanzees. That is factually incorrect. It's factually true.

I can tell you 100%. I don't you tell me what I am telling you that that's... You're there. Why? I watch Nixon sign an order. So what did the chimps do? They started the war? I wrestled Bob Backlin for 45 minutes in the Philadelphia spectrum.

Well, fine, but that doesn't make you... To a draw. It doesn't make you... So why don't you tell me how I don't know. All right. You know what? Get him out of here. All right. Fine.

I'll leave. Bye-bye. I'm going back to the bar. That guy's so hard to follow. What is he doing it? I don't know, man. He's just... Just fuck Jesse Ventura just runs in here and fucks your podcast up?

Yeah. He doesn't. It makes no sense. Yeah. Well, there's security here for a reason. Well, he's huge. So what are you going to do? He's a big guy.

Yeah. All right. Anyway, sorry about that, guys. All right, let's move off in the Mexico quake. God bless everybody. I hope they pull through with this. It sucks. I don't know what to say.

That's such a platitude. Yeah, it's, yeah, I mean, what can you say? Nothing. It's too much. It's just too much. We wish them the best. The next one. All right, so the Terminator, the sequel to Judgment Day,

the part two, which was an amazing one. The best one. She's coming back. Lina Hamilton and Schwarzenegger. Sweet. Yeah, but they're basing it off like a new character, but they'll be in the movie.

Oh, that's cool. She was fantastic in Terminator 2. The way she cocked that shotgun lives in all of our memories and when a happy bear thumbs his nub, he's usually thinking about that. She was one of the first women on screen to have, like, lats and delts.

I mean, she had, she worked her ass off. It was, it was, it was, uh, she was a bad motherfucker who was sexy as hell. and yeah her shit in that movie was man oh man when she's like doing the chin-ups when you first see her oh yeah she's in the jail and the bed upside down oh she's doing those shit ups and they're just beaten the living shit out of guys and a lot of people will be like oh well yeah you know when you're watching a movie it's like yeah right that girl's just kicking the shit out of five guys sometimes it's not done that well in movies this is one of those things where it's like oh yeah

she's kicking the living tar out of these three guards who come in. Yep. Man, it was fucking, I don't give a fuck how big you are. When you take the butt of a shotgun to the face, you're going to drop to your knees, and that's something you've never felt, Brian Callag.

And I know a thing or two, I've served with women in the Marines. You said you were in the SEALs. Right. I was in the Navy SEALs. Okay, but you said the Marines just. Well, I did not say that. That's not what I said.

You just said that. I fucking heard. No, I had a secret, I had a secret team of a dozen women and me. I don't think so. Yes, we would go. Yes, we would. And we went to Cambodia together. And then... What did you do in Cambodia? We took out the enemy and then we had sex.

We had sex. Have you ever had a 13-some? I've never had a 13-some. I have. All right. You're not a Patriot if you haven't had a 13-sum. I don't think that's a good measure of Patriot. With 12 Navy SEALs built like Linda Hamilton and I'll tell you another thing. What? They sure did cock my shotgun that day. Okay, can we get...

Jesse, you've got to get out of here. We're doing current events. Fine. Bye, bye, bye. Fuck, man. Can somebody please lock the door so he doesn't... Don't let it. Don't just tell them... He's a giant. They're not going to stop a giant.

You're not going to stop him with a fucking picture. He's also a celebrity and he's a little piece of paper that says, you're recording in me. He's the governor of Minnesota. He's going to stop the governor. All right. God damn. All right. So good.

I'm looking forward to this. I'm glad Linda Hamilton is working. That sucks. She'd been out of work for a while and she's a great actor. Well, you're saying, too, how James Cameron was the first person to really bring a girl make her tough in a movie. You know how like there's a lot of 50, 60 year old tough guys

now in movies? There's no female version of it. So that's why, that's one of the reasons he's bringing her back. Yeah, Sigourney. Yeah, Sigourney. And then, yeah. Got Sigourney. But, uh... Okay, this one. I remember we played this before a guy dropping his ring.

Yep. When proposing. Yep. And it went to under the bridge and it landed in the water. They could never find it. Oh, no. Oh, man. So what happened? Look at these two sweeties. Oh, oh, oh. It's very sad.

They did a GoFundMe page for the goal of like $3,000. It only had like $100 something in it closed. So it was really sad. And Jimmy Kimmel invited him over to his studio on TV and check it out. This is Neil Lane from. They bring out Neil Lane and jeweler. Show them what you have in that little box. He has something special for you.

Okay. So that is... With a crazy ring. It's a oval-tuck diamond ring. Brian, that's you in 10 years. Dude, how awesome. I love our country. 100 smaller diamonds.

100 smaller diamonds. Is that as nice as the ring you lost? We never got to... No, it's all right, I guess. Anyways, it's a long one, but they recreated it. They had the set built at the studio, and he redid it, and it was great. That is so cool. I love that.

You know what I think? What? I think that's very sweet. Yeah, it is sweet. You know what? I think it's very sweet. Okay, you're getting emotional. And I think that it makes me think of music.

Like when I watched... They were on a bridge. The Waitress with Sarah Borellis. And it makes me think of that song that she's singing about a poem. Do you have a song for these two? Yep. You covered your mouth when you drop that ring. Something I would never do.

We braided your hair And I wore my glasses And went on Jimmy Kimmel's show You are pink and she is brown Nothing wrong with that We're gonna have cute little Samoan kids With red hair And they're gonna get teased at school

Cute little Samoan kids with red hair And they're gonna get teased at school Chubby Now the one has been missing a meal And that's okay And they eat lots of terror root and spam and rice And they mash it together in the morning They never go hungry

They are strong He is clumsy but he is strong She would eat a polar bear and save some for him After they smash it into the air compression tank She's not afraid of the sun But he starts to smolder Almost immediately He's never been home with her to San Diego

Where she's from because it's too hot he's a Wisconsin born Wisconsin born He's an albino He's a Wisconsin albino And he loves to eat cheese In the Mall of America He's a slow moving

Diambetic in the Mall of America Knock his glasses off And shoe him in the ass Down the Up Why that's super mean Put him in the song And bury him to his neck For dropping that fucking rain

Bring Carry him to the neck And put him in the song For dropping that fuck can ring. Teach him a lesson. He's on Jimmy Kimball, but the next show he's on, they got to teach him a lesson. Fire face.

Fire face. Fire face. Never tell you about, speaking of... Thanks, guys. You're listening. That was a terrible song. Yeah. I ever tell you about speaking of San Diego.

One time I was at a charger game with my good buddies, Cyrus and Heltman. And we were at the game, and there were these two kids behind us, these two, like 20-year-old kids that were just hammered, right? And they were being such dicks, but they were funny. And then in front of us, we're at a Steelers game. I'm a Steeler fan. And so we're sitting, you know, we're there in San Diego. These guys behind us are San Diego fans.

Guys in front row of Steeler fans, right? All together. One guy in Raiders gear, whatever, he is, it was just, let your mind run wild. It was fantastic. This guy starts jaum with the kids. He's like, yeah, I bet you guys paid Primo dollar for your tickets, just being a douchebag. He's like, he goes, you know what, I paid, man, I paid nothing. I know so and so.

And I got these. And he literally, and the guy's like, yeah, whatever ass, fuck you. And they're on his ass. And we're in the middle of this. He turns around, he's making the money sign with his fingers and thumbs. He's like, you don't have any money. You don't have. Takes out a $100 bill.

And he's like, yeah, you see. And the guy just goes, yoink, and takes the $100 bill, the kids. And they're like, yeah, I got money. I got money. The whole section's laughing. This dude sitting in front of us looks like this guy. He's like this red-headed dude. He's out there in a visor.

his skin is a bright shade of neon red at this point. It's the fourth quarter. He's had like, you know, 10 Miller lights. Yeah. And he's just ruddy. And he's so, he's so sunblasted. And he's just sitting there steaming. He's had enough of these two guys.

And we're a clock and he's had enough of the, of the teenagers or the, uh, the teenagers. He's with the Raiders fan. And they were all like, you know, they were all like my age. And then these kids were behind us. It was so funny. We're just like, watch, watch, watch, watch. He's going to blow, man.

Look at this tea kettle. He's going to blow. He turns around. He goes, he just stands up and he gets in their face. And he goes, let me tell you guys something. And the kid, one of the kids, without missing a beat, goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I got the alcohol face. The whole section laughs again. And the dude just turns around, sits down.

Oh, my God. I was dying. Laugh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I got the alcohol face. Just shut him down. Just shut. And he just clamped it back up. And he just pushed it back down. Where it started in elementary school.

Very good. And I empathize with him and sympathize. Very good. And we've all been there in our own ways. And this man was bullied by people half his age. Yeah. And I'm sorry. But it was, he was okay.

He had his row of friends, but he shouldn't have started it with the 20-year-olds. My buddy, my father's friend, sweet guy, but was a complete nerd in high school and teased. And he bought this top-line Porsche. He made a fortune and drove his Porsche to his high school. reunion and was just like I'm going to show them and my dad said how to go and he did his credit he said you know what dude

I realized I was just a nerd with a Porsche I was still a nerd that's not true and my dad gave him the middle finger and slapped his fucking mouth what no he did not fed him a sweet fish no big Mike did not do that don't say that about your dad sit on his own digits see that's in his garage and he's still in the garage

don't blame your your mishappening's and your your horrible behavior on Big Mike. I'm just telling you what happened. No, that's not what happened. You can say what you want, but I'm just telling you what my dad came to his friend. I guess that's the end of that. I hear what you're saying completely, but also no.

Okay, well, let's see what the- I'm really glad that these guys made it out of that. Yeah. They're very cute. They're a cute couple. They're fucking adorable is what they are. They are cute. And they got a ring and then they're going to go to their 10-year anniversary with the ring.

And then, you know, someone's going to get in his face and say, Habah, Haba, Haba. Actually, that's the last current event. Sweet. I would do a dropping knowledge, but it's just too serious. You know what, though? I read an interesting thing on, we break into teams, right? Human beings are tribal apes.

And something to keep in mind is that people love to fight over the most mundane things. The Protestant and Catholic wars that went on, over probably almost 100 years, at least 60 years, the hundreds of thousands of people that were killed between basically Christians that believed in the exact same God, believed in the exact same Bible. And this is all in Europe. This is after the Reformation. You know what the Reformation is? Do you guys know what the Reformation is? When Martin Luther, who was a German priest, nailed the 100 proclamations to the door in Bittenberg, Germany, I believe, it was one of the most, significant events in history because this this Jesuit priest basically said hey um as a catholic i i guess

to be a good catholic i basically i have a hierarchy which is the priest starting with the pope at the top the pope was as close to god as you get and the priest basically would tell me you know there was a whole there were rituals you would do good acts you would go to confession you would take holy communion but there was a ritual you would go to church he would read in latin nobody spoke latin but you'd have to listen to him and he would was the authority. The priest, the cardinal, the bishop, they were the authorities, and they would not be questioned. And many times you would do the church favors, whether, and by the way, sometimes they were sexual, there was a lot of corruption. What? And you would get, you would get, what was the word for it,

but essentially they had the keys to heaven. And the pope for sure, but, you know, the priest would pray for you, and you would have a better chance of getting into heaven. Along comes Martin Luther, who says, it's not about doing good deeds. It's not about all these rituals. It's not about praying the saints. It's not about even going to church. It's about the grace of God reading the Bible. If you read the Bible and you believe and you live a good life,

then you essentially are a Protestant. You don't need this massive hierarchy that starts in Rome. And with all these high priests, essentially, that was radical. That was what they called heresy, which if you're a heretic, it means you're speaking. against the church. And he had to leave Bitburg and everything else. But the bottom lines, he started a reformation. And a lot of people went, yeah, to be a man of God or a woman of God, I don't need the

Catholic Church. I just need the Bible. So that's where Protestant Church came along. And I'm paraphrasing the history here. But if you ever notice how Catholic churches have stained glass, they've got pictures of saints, they've got a lot of ornamentation, Protestant churches are basically very, very stark, houses where you come in and pray, but there's not a lot of iconography or anything else. Because that was considered a bit, that was considered, like, you know, that was considered very kind of, almost idol worship. It was, it was considered, all you needed was the Bible and and a preacher, or not even. Long story short, over the years, over the years, basically in France, you're right, the St. Bartholomew's massacre, and I'm fucking this out because I'm not

going to get exactly right, but the St. Bartholomew mass is when Catholics came in to a French town and killed something like 10,000 French Protestants. Men, women, and children. Because the Catholics believe that you have to do good deeds. Catholics believe you have to go through the rituals of the church that they grew up with, and a good Christian does good deeds. And here's the irony. And so they go into a Protestant village, people who are Protestant, and killed about 10,000 of them.

And it was called the St. Bartholomew's massacre. the Pope was so overjoyed at the news that not only did he essentially hold a day of prayer, sort of festivities, but then he had a commission and artist to draw the recreation of the massacre. It's called St. Bartholomew's massacre, and it's in the Vatican in one of the rooms, and guess what? That room is closed to the public. Now, this is not a bat, and it's not the bash, the Catholic Church, what this is, is how human beings behave. And this is how little it takes. People love to draw teams.

People love to get on one side and go, you know what? You don't believe you should do good acts. You just believe all you need is the Bible. I'm going to kill you. And vice versa, by the way. A lot of Protestant killing of Catholics, a lot of Catholics killing of Protestants. They believe in the same God. There were vicious wars.

They tore Europe apart. And they lasted for almost 100 years. You, uh... Thank you, everybody. That's really, really, I did not know. And by the way, I would also add that the Protestant Catholic wars in Ireland, in Northern Ireland, raised and they were brutal. Now, a lot of that had to do with loyalty to the crown, to England,

but it also had its division with Catholicism and Protestantism, the Anglican Church, the English Church, and the Protestant Church. I will not comment so much on religion's place in a modern world. Some would say it's been replaced by the United States. internet. That is not my place here to preach from any sort of pulpit or point of view. I will say that I was raised Roman Catholic. That's a fact. And I will say that you have a lovely Venice mural here on the wall that I'm looking at. And if you say one more word against God, I will replace this mural with a mural of me beating the shit out of you. And we'll call it St. Brian's

Massacre. I didn't say that. And no, I didn't say that. You're, you know, my Parents were never all that religious. You know, I had to go to summer school or Sunday school. And I did, you know, I got the Holy Communion and all that stuff. Yeah. And then I went my own way with my own, you know, religion, spirituality. That's nobody's business. Yeah.

But I will say, you talk like that again. No, I didn't. Now, hold on. We're going to take you out to the parking lot. See? And we're going to have people. We're going to take a lot of pictures. The whole point of that story.

The whole point of that story. And then we're going to give those to artists. No. We believe the same God. Beautiful moral. We believe in the same God. Well, everyone believes in the same God because human beings are looking up to the sun going, what's it all about?

You call it God or fucking Allah or Uma or Oprah, whatever you want to say. It doesn't mean we should resort to violence. And I was just trying to say that this doesn't have to be the St. Bartholomew's massacre. And it won't be. And for more on this, go to mixmental arts.com where I did a great podcast with Thaddeus Russell about the difference between plural truths and fixed truths. I look forward to listening to that. Had the idea that belief in a fixed truth, in one truth is the most destructive idea in history.

We had a bit of an argument about it. I don't disagree. What do you mean? What was the argument? Well, you know, the idea that so you have to be very careful. People love to have the truth. This is what ideology is. Ideology is that.

Ideology is. So if you were a communist, I mean, people, the communist movement is based on the idea that we have, we have the economic truth. The truth is it's in Das Kapital and the communist. manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Ingalls, they came up with the seal on economic science. Now, we know now that there is no seal on economic science. Economics is a very complicated thing. But whenever, well, this is the difference between religion and philosophy. Philosophy deals with reason and logic and mathematics to try to prove a point. But it's always moving. Science is the same way. Science is basically admitting your own ignorance, okay? And using models,

simulation and the recreation of phenomena with models and experimentation to prove a point and get closer to the truth. When Muhammad, the prophet in Islam, said, I am the seal of all the prophets. In other words, this is it for me. It starts and ends with me. I'm the last prophet to speak to God. Here is the truth. You don't need anymore. That is what religion is. That is what ideology is, whether it's communism, whether it's Christianity, you have to be careful with these things to. so when you believe in something and it's a fixed truth and you say this is the only truth, the discussion is over, you have, you become a fanatic. Because anybody who has a different point of view, anybody has an interpretation of Christianity

or Islam, by the way, both those religions can be interpreted in many different ways, so I'm being a little unfair. They've always been very, very, you know, so be careful about thinking you have the truth with a capital T. You probably don't. The truth is, there are a lot of different truths. You know what, Brian, you're absolutely right about that. In Canada, we have a saying that I believe trumps all of the, all of the, what a zealot would think,

what an ideology that one would hold, a truth that one would hold on to, despite the cries of people, despite the yearnings of the heart. And it trumps all of that. And it's just a very simple adage. It's a simple saying. It's a philosophy in itself. Yep. Well, okay.

And here it is. And here it is. Hold on. I haven't even said it yet. Yep. Here we go. This is what we say in Canada. You ready? Sure.

And if people just did things the Canadian way, I'm originally from Canada. I'm a citizen of both countries, though. So don't say, oh, Will, shut up. You're just a Canadian. Go back because you're never getting rid of me, America. I am a citizen of these United States. Yeah. I vote in your elections.

I take part in your economy. So as an American, I can say this legally. Yeah. Suck my dick. Okay, now hold on. Okay, man. I'm not done. I'm saying as an American.

No, I know, but... Hold on. Let me just... I'm an American. I can say what I want. First Amendment protects me. Okay. Suck my fucking cock.

Okay, bro. Hold on. You're being so rude right now? Hold on. Yeah. I'm not saying it's to you. Okay, but I feel like you are. Suck my fat dick.

To anybody, hold on. I'm trying to have a conversation about truth. Hold on. Hold on. This is what I'm saying. get my fat hog hard and put it in your mouth. You said that six times. We get it. Yeah.

I'm saying I can say that as an American citizen. Yeah, that's fine. But I'm going to tell you what we say in Canada that would dispel all of the, all of the, and I am not going to make light of the, as Carl Sagan calls it, the rivers of blood that have been spilled from one side of this shit pebble to the other. And I'm paraphrasing. Based on the fact that we have the truth, you guys are wrong, we're going to kill you. And people have based their beliefs in these ideologies, these quote-unquote truths.

Our truth is rooted in love and truth. Your side is rooted in evil and falsehood. So we're going to kill you. Right, so we're going to kill you. That's what ISIS does. Right, that's what the Protestant Reformation was about with Catholicism and Protestants. We're bringing it full circle. That's what communism was versus capitalism?

It's nothing short of evil. Communism is the way anybody else is wrong. We're going to kill you. And Stalin killed, what are it, 20 million people or something like that? More than that. Yeah. And look at Mount Saint-Tung. Mautze Tung killed what? It was like 50 million people. Yeah, that piece of shit starved his own people. Fuck that guy too. So with respect to all that, we have the answer in Canada. You ready? And I would love for all your listeners, and especially the diamond listeners of the 10-minute podcast. Yeah. Because they are diamond listeners. We're whittling down. Yeah, that's right. We're going to get that one diamond listener. But listeners of both podcasts and everyone within the reach of my voice, I would love for you to share in this Canadian philosophy. Ready?

Yeah. Be a good shit. Be a good shit. I'm going to write a religious book. You know what it's going to be called? What? Be a good shit. Don't say shit. And you know what it's going to say in the inside?

It's going to be a one page book. You know why? I think you know why. What's it going to say inside? I say, be a good shit. That's right. Be a good shit. Forward's going to say, be a good shit.

All right. So that's the one page book. You don't have to buy it. It's going to say be a good shit. No. You don't have to buy it. You guys already know the book. Yeah.

Why would you buy a book that you already know? I'm not selling it to you. just remember will's on the book wills wills the book of willigian yeah fuck off will the book of willigian and you remember willigian from when our time together yeah over many podcasts of course the 10 minute podcast yeah you understand willigian yeah and you know that the decree is be a good shit all right look just and if you don't want to be a good shit yeah suck my dick all right and the point is making is it just be responsive to evidence right but as an american i'm saying don't be an italy a dialogue don't don't Don't just join a team and think that you have the truth.

You don't have the truth. Fucking fuck teams, man. Fuck teams. Get out there. By yourself. What is that? Ow,

Ooo! You know that. You're a lone wolf, too. Oh, ooh. I ain't no bear thumbing it. Back your balls up to that fucking. Back your balls up to that. There you go.

There you go. I don't want to eat any more of this. I can't eat any more of those. I can't eat any more of this. You know a little piece. You're fucking bear. There you go. There you go.

You little bear. Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a real shit show. What a fun episode. Yeah, it's good stuff. It's always great to be here, Brian. I always like doing funny things. I want to thank you, Will, for Nate Schumer. Thanks for showing up.

One of these days, dude, we're going to let people in on how we actually talk. But until then, I'm just going to be full of shit on your podcast. All right, man. Well, I wish we could have a real conversation. Just goof around. No, fuck that. I don't think your listeners would like that. No.

Let me just show up and not fucking dick around like an insecure fucking, you know. Yeah. Dip, dip shit. What are you making jokes? As we leave. Maybe give it a little word to be everybody. Everybody out there is a little afraid. What should they do?

Everyone's afraid of stuff. Everyone's got their own issues. Okay, so what do we do, Will? Leave us with a drop some knowledge for us. I'll drop some knowledge. I'm not going to get emotional. Well. I just had some sugar, so I'm feeling high from the sugar and I'm not emotional.

Don't cry? No, I stuffed it down with the food. Oh, fuck. With the food. All right, well, give us something here. because you're an emotional eater. Okay. Come on, you fuck, you fucking bear.

I'll help you out. I'll help everybody out. Do you shit, dig it? Everybody has different problems. Come on, you bear. Just whatever your problem is. Go ahead. There you're sitting in your own waist.

Don't eat. Don't put it in a sandwich. All right, man. You know, this is in a fucking disaster. This is a fighter and a kid. We're out.