The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 296 Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: September 28, 2025

Chris D'Elia is back and the guys talk superheroes, fans, the legend of D'Elia's dong, eating alone, Netflix, nightmare acting, future shades, artistic hats, D'Elia's Chinder tips, wishing failure on friends, sociopaths and much more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken. Chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them.

Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Onet Studios in Plyar, Vista, California, it is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. That doesn't matter. Sounds better when you say, live. But we're not live.

We don't do live, man. And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. Shut up. This is not live. It's not live. okay the first thing i want to say no no the first thing i want to say is get what pick a shade man pick a shade with that look like a shitty crayola no dude why are you dressed like chris gains man

you know when garth brooks wears the two different colored shirts like it'll be green here on one side and then black on one side yeah you're doing it don't mean to open up the fucking i don't mean to open up the show with a huge move like that but no you But he brought it on itself. He put on that. He did. I know. Where did you get that? Because it's, you look like an extra from American pie.

No, it brings out. You do, dude. You look like an extra from American pie. My shoulders. Dude, it looks. It's unique. You got that for free. That's such a, that's such a fucking.

I did get it for free. Look, man. Don't bash up up. That's such a hoodie you'd wear that you got for free. Would not buy that. You never bought that. Fucking. Shades off right now.

No, Chris has his. You know why I got to wear these, dude? Futures too bright. See, I knew there was a reason. You know that? Otherwise, I wouldn't have them on. But, um, futures too bright. Did you see what I tweeted?

It is bright. Do you see the picture I tweeted in the Instagram? Yeah, about the black and white photo? The one I posted, yeah, that he posted. Yeah, oh, bro. Hours ago. You know what's weird is that, is that you, you posted it only hours ago. after he posted it, not days

after he posted it. Okay, all right. Well, I... That's what... Hey, there's a new episode of Fighter and the Kid, right when it comes out. Hey, there's a new episode of Fighter and the Kid six days ago, and there's already a new episode. Yeah, because I like to create a lag. Don't do that.

Hey, Chris, that is the more... Hey, can I ask Chris a serious question, though? Yeah. Hey, Chris, do you think Brian fondled Chuck Liddell's balls last time in the groom? Or did he just power bomb? Dude, when we, when we, you fuss the whole vibe up. Dude, we were hanging out having a good time, a silly fucking loose-goose time. Chuck LaDelle walks in.

This guy is a transformer and transformed into a fucking... Dick diver. Yeah. A dick rider. Hold on. Hold on. No. Oh.

Is that, are you used to motion? No. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, everyone turns into a fighter jet. But me, I turn into a cock sucker. No. Hey, hey. Roll out.

No. No, listen, hold on. Roll out. He's my friend, and we were, like, talking about training and sparring. As soon as he walked, then you go, bro, oh, my God, you don't look a day over 25. Oh, dude. The whole room goes like this. He looked good, but, huh?

He looks good, but except for, huh? What are you doing? Dude, you can do what you want. Free conch. Ah, it bugs me. But don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.

Don't promote your shirt. It's a free cut. Don't, this is not. Congratulations. We're here. You're welcome because I have a podcast. Subscribe to my podcast. Congratulations.

And I want you to unsubscribe to anything, Brian. No, no. Why don't you? I'm sorry. I want you. Call your fucking podcast is not. I'm not saying anything. Okay.

Well, it's true. Huh? No. Chris, the future is bright, but my glasses are fogging off. You're right. Take them off. Now you get to see inside, um, soul. Oh, my God.

Hey, you don't, there's not a lot of depth, bro. Come on. What are you talking about, dude? If I drew a fucking picture of your brain, coffee, hanging out with my sidekicks, and... Chicks. And... Chicks, man. Lazy dick.

Dude, all I think of... You got a lazy dick, man. All I think of... If we're all books there, Chris is a comic book. Yeah. Is that fair to be? Yeah. Well, dude, comic books sell a lot.

You graphic novel. Okay, dude, I'm the watchman. Okay. Am I the watchman? No. Am I a little bit of the watchman? What do you think? Seriously, what do you think you would be?

The sloth? No, do you know what? I have a superpower. What? I can open up doors without even touching them at the grocery store. How do you do that? Well, oh, Brian didn't get the joke. I get it.

Oh, how do you do that, he says. I do it because my fans open the doors for me. Dude, your fans don't travel with you to Ralphs. You've seen that. You've seen that. You know what my fans are? And I'm not trying to be a dick to you. Dude, no, no, listen. Every time you say that, it's dick.

No, no, but let me just explain what my fans are. And it's no big deal. And I don't give a shit. I don't even want to say this out loud because I don't care. But I'll say it just for argument's sake. Let's have a conversation. So my fans are fans, what we would call fans for life, right? Now, hold on.

It's just that there's, because I'm all. always evolving and always, like, challenging. Are you? This guy teaches me, teaches me. And then you, your fans are, as we know, and again, who cares? Who cares? All right, what? Your fans are, some are not yet in high school, and others are in high school, right?

For the most part. Right? So, yeah. Dude, and then those, and those fans are incredibly fickle. So Chris is great. They also refer themselves as babies. They call themselves. fan bases, Chris?

Can help. You don't our fan bases? What? T-Fat K. Army. Dude, I don't give a fuck. Hey, don't be the suspectful.

Hey, what, you were that goddamn shirt. Don't do that face. Fuck. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, Chris, but. Your chin disappeared when you went like that. No. Yeah, I can't see.

You're just all in those. Bro, bro, bro. You human bird. We are, we are fucking 20. We are 30. We are 40. We are 50 strong. Don't say we.

That's a. Don't say we. We are babies, dude. And I don't give a fuck. Why are you babies? Because, dude, fuck this alpha secretly beta shit. Bro, I got it all figured out, man. We need to calm down.

I'll do what I want, and it'll be fine. Because you're a baby? Everyone's fine. Oh, what are we going to do? Fucking, you know what I mean? No. No, you're not saying anything. Yeah, you're saying.

Because we fucking, you know what I mean? No, I don't. Bro, how about this, man? You're not saying anything. What? Number one guest. on Fighter and the Kid. Who?

Dude, people say, okay, Will Sassau, Michael Rapaport. Make way for fucking free conch. You can listen to wherever you want to. Hey, you showed me your body yesterday. Pretty damn good, right? No, I don't think so.

What? Okay. Did you see the cocky region? I didn't. Oh, I saw his dick in the bathroom. I leaned over and saw it. No, but you got to see it when it's 10 huts. No, it's not.

He swung it around like a rope, like a tassel. I don't care. I don't wash my hands after I piss either. I don't either. Who does that? It would be weird. It's my dick. I watch my head before I touch my rod.

Exactly. And then I don't touch the door. I do elbow it. It's my dick. I go like just and I pull it in. It is impressive. Thanks. Because the legend of Chris DeLia, let's be honest,

the legend started on the fighting the kid. Because Ari Schaffer mentioned your dick about the comedy store. Listen to me. And then Brian chimed in about your dick. And then all of a sudden. And it's fine. And it's fine.

No. It's fine. You heard about it, though. The mass is hit you up. But what I, but what I, but what I, but what I, but what I, but what I get, when I get a fit bit. When I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I, when I get a boner, I faint a lot. Because of the blood has, I lose a lot of blood. I don't know that.

Yeah. I just go. You are. You are. Okay. People are like, whoa, watch out. Is that a sundial? They go like.

Okay. No. Oh. Yeah. No, can I ask you a question? Maybe. So you are, are you anemic? Dude, because I, my color, you know what it is?

You have, you're alabaster white. It's not, it's porcelain white is what it is. But it's very, a lot of kings and queens are that because they don't go, because of the workers go outside. So you don't, you don't really see the sun. The workers go outside. Have you had your vitamin G checked? No, I go, I went, I was in the sun today. You live on pancakes, bro.

What do you? Bro, you, you, you didn't finish your, pancakes last night. No, I only have one. You guys have pancakes? Yeah, I had a one buttermilk pancake. Swingers. They got nice buttermilk pancakes. Shut up. Who says buttermilk pancakes? Just say pancakes. Well, they're buttermilk. Well, no pancakes. What's wrong with you? Yeah. Unless they're like banana nut pancakes. The guy says buttermilk. Standard. Yeah, pancake standard. Oh, my God. I like that. When they say buttermilk, it turns me, it gets me going. Like, I get excited. It seems a little fancy. Now, you go to Swingers every night, right? A lot. Yeah. And you find a corner and you

eat? I don't need people to be lining up when I'm shit, dude. I don't care. I'm kidding. No, but that is a pain they ask. You did shut down Starbucks. He did. He did. He kind of shit down. My nephew called me and said, hey, Christalia just walked in to Masuizza, and he's alone. And I went, yeah, of course he's alone. Because he's a weird

hell. You went in by, you ate dinner by yourself? And they go Yeah, bro, look at me. You're serial? Or you loser. No. Since when he did sushi, bro, did you have some soup and rice? You don't eat raw fish. Yes, I do, dude. You do?

What are you saying, man? Did you order a mustard turkey sandwich? That's what you eat. You ate sushi. Why were you there by yourself, Chris? Dude, I fucking, you know what I do? What? Not only do I not invite anyone, I send a text out, and I say, I'm getting sushi.

No one's invited. And then I go by myself. You know why, dude? Because I fucking up here, bro, I have a blast. I can hear you're hitting your head. I got a fucking blast, bro. Can you do that, V? I have a blast.

I have a blast. I just think of anything I want. Nobody's there to fucking be like, oh, but also, fuck them. Dude, I just chill. I hang out, I have a good time, and I eat sushi, and I go like this,

and I think about stuff. What do you think about? What do you think about? Like, seriously? I think about, like, the people around, and if someone falls, and that would be funny, or, like, I'll think about something

I could talk about on stage, or I think about my mom, or I think about whatever I want. You don't worry, really. Why would I worry? Why would I worry? You don't worry Dude, no

You don't wake up with like anxiety sometimes Yeah, sometimes I do About what? I don't know And then I go like this What am I anxious about And then I go like this And just go on with you?

All of us Do you ever get anxious That it's going to end By some weird thing As in like an accident Or I think about weird shit Yeah, I guess so Sure

Like dragons or something Do you? You don't I don't know I'm worried What? Yeah, you worry You're like me

You were No, I'm not like you. No, no, no. You get, like, a spec. You think you have stage five cancer. I don't worry like that. I worry more about, like, like, how long we're going to be able to keep selling,

like, how long are we going to keep coming up with material? Like, am I just going to, like, next month, I'm like, fuck, I get nothing. And then the road's over. That happens all the time, especially after you shoot a special, then you go, I've got to start all over again. Yeah. Am I going to, and how am I going to do it? Because you don't, I don't remember coming up with the shit.

I don't know. Do you ever do a bit Sorry, don't me interrupt you, you guys, you ever do a bit And then you're like, how the fuck did I come up with us? Did someone help me with that? That's what I mean. Where did I get that from? Right.

And how am I going to come up with new shit? Exactly. Like, that's what I mean. Do you feel that way? Yeah, well, my last tour, I was doing that act for like a year and a half, two years. And then afterwards, I was like, what the fuck do I do? And then I just started. But I just, that's why I constantly book shows and go on stage because I'm like, I'll keep.

I'm not going to do the old shit. Yeah. And then I'll just do the, I'll do. I'll do new shit, you know, even if it's not good at the beginning. And then pretty soon it kind of like takes a life, takes on a life. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It forms on its own, right? Yeah, that is interesting.

Like, you just kind of have to trust that it's going to happen. And it's true, you just keep doing it until something happened. Do you have any idea? You have Netflix to let you know how your special did, man, I'm fine. No, I just know from like tweets and shit. It's hilarious, though. You can get kind of gauge, right? I mean, well, can you?

Because your Twitter's and social media is going to be more of your fans, you know what I'm saying? And you have a lot of them. So you're like, oh, it's great, but... Yeah, but you get new ones and people say, oh, I didn't know who you were, or you can tell because of your crowds get bigger, you know? That makes sense. Yeah, for sure.

That's the big thing. Like a special is everything these days, right? Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. Because you look at it because, like, I watched Seinfeld's new special. I don't know if you watch it. I didn't see it. It's old material.

Yeah, yeah, I heard. Prove that. It's almost like a documentary, too? No, it's like stand-up, but it shows like a quick clip of his childhood and then he goes back. I got to see this. It shows like old stuff, but it's all his old material just to show that it's stood up over time. And still, that's how they say it was.

But, um, uh, but I watched that. And then in the queue, it goes Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, Chris Delia. That's where Netflix is just a beast. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you watch Chris Rock. Check out Chris Delia.

And when you get in that, because how, how big is. People will just keep clicking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We'll just keep clicking, dude. Yeah. So then you all, that's hilarious. God, he's similar to that.

And they watched that. I also think I fucked up my, the special, I didn't, I don't know if fucked up to right word, but when I, this one, this new one that came out, Man on Fire, which is on Netflix. I just said that. All right, man. I know, we could watch it. Yeah, but don't linger on the camera. No, I didn't actually even notice.

I was looking at the camera. Oh, you. All right. But. Okay, it's on Netflix. Yeah. Thank you very much. All right.

It doesn't matter. But, and so. You fucked up on that one? No. On the incorrigible, which the one that was my second one, which is right. before Man on Fire on Netflix. You can, I think I started slow.

Like I put all the good shit at the end. Yeah. You know? Oh, and people don't have the attention. Yeah, they don't, dude. I'll watch comics on there. Yeah. And if it's like, I'll be 20 minutes into, I'm like, this is boring.

Yeah. They don't wait. So I opened Man on Fire with this stuff that I thought was the, the hardest hitting shit. That's, that's smart. But that's also why Netflix, it's just people's attention span. But that's why they're leaning, they're doing a lot more 30 minutes. Yeah, not even to mention my incorrigible was like an hour and 20 minutes, over, over, yeah. About an hour too long for me.

Yeah, but really. And the man on fire is 64 minutes or something like that? No, that's not what they're doing. I don't know. You know what? Actually, they are doing that because that's the dead rising, their ghosts, because they want to see it too. Chris, so got out of that one. Of that one.

Not really. Chris, when you do a Netflix special, do you sign a multi-term deal? We don't sign a mulpoi. We sign, maybe you could sign a multi. Multi-in. But you said multi. So I don't think that's a thing. Hey, bro.

He has a speech. That's so not good. That's so fucking rude, man. It only was with that one word? Yeah, and he never got help. No, it's certain words. Oh. He's working.

I don't. Speak for a living. No, I don't, I didn't. But I guess you could. but I don't think they do that though do they I don't know they I don't think they never I never was never an option for me so it's just one it so if it doesn't do well

it's just one and done they're like all right well do you know what I'm saying I yeah if it doesn't do well it's kind of a weird format because you do one I guess yeah and then can just do your next one with whoever granted they're the biggest show in town you can just be like all right I'm gonna go over here now yeah I mean I don't know I mean

don't fucking know you do you know I have two on there so it's good to have I think it's good to have two on there and some guys have four or five on there i guess on netflix what doesn't burr have four probably um rogan has what three two on there so i don't know but i uh i don't know if i i always like before netflix became what it became i always thought it was i was like i'd be cool to do one like i did one for comedy central and then the next one i did for netflix i was like oh i wonder we'll do the next one but then netflix got so big that i was like oh you just got me on net you have to be on that they're the only game in town to compete and like i mean i don't

know if like although you know if Hulu would do them but they don't do them I would be willing to bet they started to get into it

I heard they were going to but that was like a year and a half ago they would because they just won all those Emmys they beat Netflix like destroyed

they won more Emmys than any network really and it's Hulu so I would assume and then Amazon Facebook's doing what a time for TV

there's a lot of stuff I know so crazy there's so much to do you know what I feel like and B you would know this too I feel like

Chris is starting to get more more into act and I feel like if acting takes off you're done with comedy. Actually, I'm surprised you're not doing more acting. Do you actually feel that way? I love stand-up. No, I don't. Yeah, because you're not to both spoke up your ass. You are a very good actor. You're a very

good actor. Thank you. You know, I just slip in and out of characters and it's like... Yeah, but you're doing... And people don't even realize it's me. That's all, you know, that's just what came to me. You know what I mean? You just jumped into it. No, but it's like... Splush. Like, you know when you go into... You know when you're like

near a pool and then all of a sudden. and you're like, I'm going to get in there, sploosh. Like, that's what happened with this character. Right. You know? It's not bad at all. And you're from the east of London? All over.

Right. There's an army brat, really. That's super good. You did a movie, obviously, you can't see what the movie is. Well, no, it was called Life in a Year. I don't know if I'm allowed to say what I played, though. Really? I can't wait to see it.

God, I want to, I almost. I want to see it. Are you proud of it? Do you think it's good? I think so. I have no idea. Cry. a scene, do an emotional scene, ready?

I don't know what? I don't know. You know what I mean? You have to go overboard. Thank you. You have to go overboard and crying. Most people think subtlety is really good. So, apologize. I'm a drug lord and apologize. I didn't mean, I don't have your money. You know what I mean? Like that? Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, dude. Right, right? Because I was going to kill you. I know.

And then I felt pity. Yeah. Because I was encouraged. Did you take acting classes? I mean, obviously, you grew up in the business. I thought of that. Yeah, he took a lot of classes. You took a lot of acting classes. And he took voice. And dance. I didn't take dance I know it's hard to fucking well tell

but you took voice does this answer your question do you remember when you and I tried to sing seriously yeah yeah and we start laughing so hard that's a thing

yeah well that's Brian Brian does that Brian likes to relive the glory days that's all he has he doesn't have bright future that's not true

you've got a checkered past well that's fucking true in a bad way. I've got kids I don't know about and if I find out I'll ignore them anyway yeah, because I'm selfish

fucking selfish 50 and selfish Who were we talking to? Brian did oh at my party with Rogan we're talking about that time when you really thought you could sing like Brian was he did like what death

the comedy jam thing you know where comedians sing Oh yeah goddamn comedy Brian came back and goes, I mean, if I wanted to, I could be a singer. Do it. I mean, obviously, I could. But a little bit. Like, there's a little bit. Yeah, I mean, but I was, excuse me?

I know how hard it is. When you hear, like, Skyler Aston, you're like, Jesus. Oh, I know. Forget it. Yeah, but that's a little. Obviously, he's, like, Broadway and he can actually sing. But, like, there's some guys where you hear him like, Brian's not bad. You know, like, it was like a 80s rock.

Yeah. If you're singing Mother, there's one note to it, I guess. I mean, I'm still not doing it, but you can kind of get... Mama! You know what I mean? I just killed a mat. Like, I can do that. Jesus.

Yeah, I know. I know. You sound like Freddie Mercury. I know. It's stupid. But... Fucking talk about a talent. Oh, my God.

Don't ever sing Freddie McGree again. Yeah, dude. No, but, wait, what was I going to say shit? About singing? No, I don't know. But, oh, yeah, no, I hate one bit. I talk about this on my podcast. Congratulations.

and subscribe, unsubscribe them. And, um, subscribe to mine. And, uh, every, comes out every week. And so, but they, uh, don't see. But I'm, Brian, my, my, my mom thinks I can sing and it bothers me so much when she tells me that. Like she legit thinks you can see? Yeah. She's like, you could have been a singer. And it bothers me so much because it's so, it's like when somebody

comes up to you and says, uh, oh, dude, people say I should do stand up. And it's like, turn round. Bye, bye. but parents are a little different like i get this all the time my mom was just out there she goes i don't understand why you just don't audition for the new batman right right right right right well that's yeah parents i know i know i know i know batman yeah people come up why don't you do s nl you don't know how it works oh that's a good idea yeah oh yeah never thought of that yeah yeah also although you are you are somebody that could do that yeah have you ever thought about SNL?

Hey, bro. We're looking at our goddamn fans. I don't know that you would be happy doing that versus stand-up because you'd have to give up a lot of stand-up. So it becomes a problem, like, you know what I'm saying? So you could do... So if you do it a one-hour drama,

okay, great, you better love it because you're there for 16 and 17 hours. Let me tell you something. I've always said this, too, like for... My nightmare is to be like the sixth lead on a CSI show. Oh, my God. Why would you ever take that?

Because people do. Way ahead of you. Being that guy. I think we got something. Oh, my God. You're so fucking right. In your trailer just like this. Is it my turn?

And you can't tell you. Let me say this 19 times. I'm pulling it up right now. You're so fucking right. Oh, dude. And you know who always gets that part? The funky chick with the hair like this. Or a hipster guy.

Or a hipster guy like a nerve hipster. Yeah, or a guy that belongs. as in a Verizon commercial. Yes. Can you hear me now? That's what that fucking guy is. Hey, dude, take a knife out. Dude, I'm telling you, I did, I've done every CSI.

I'd hang myself. I've done every CSI, right? Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, I'm a guest star. And, and, uh, and law and order. And just, I remember sitting there watching. You were on Law & Order? Oh, I've done all of it.

I've done, I've done an episode of something. Yeah, were you ever on the honeymooners? Were you in Mass? No. No. Oh. No. Oh, oh, oh.

Although Mass would have been fun. But you're, you're there. and you watch the, you watch the fourth lead, and the third lead, and you go, dude, I would have, you're coming in a suit and you're pointing at something. And then that's it. And you're, you're in Valencia. You'd have to love the craft. You got to. There's not even a craft. No, there's no. You're saying a bunch of words. Sometimes you're saying a bunch of words that you don't even know what they mean, dude. If you're playing a doctor or a lawyer. Oh, well, that's the other thing. So Gray's Anatomy, ER, what they would have to be is in the background. of every shot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you're in the background. So when you're in your scene and you're one of those series regulars,

you sit in the background for a long time doing business. Oh, the worst, yeah. Passing a scalpel back and forth. Now, I was with, so Nick Nolty. Say with Nick Nolty, Hall of Famer. I mean, Nick Nolty in the age and 90s was as big as he gets to 70s.

And I did Warrior with him, and we were in the, we were basically in the background of a scene. Yeah, because you were doing it. And I'm with, I'm with him, and I'm like, And we had to sit there for, we had to stand, and he was 70 at the time, we had to stand for... Did he complain?

No, we had to stand for 11 hours. And I said to him, I said, he's a pro. How do you do this? He goes, part of the job. It's what happens today. Yeah. It's what happens today. Now, the people that don't do that are Pacino and De Niro.

They go, they have standings. They're like, nah, yeah. Well, but here's the thing, dude. You still have to do it. The standings? You do, that's where you make the money, but like, that's where they make the money, rather. But when you're doing, like, we do stand-up, when you get a taste of, that. Oh my God. And when you can make money doing stand-up, forget it. Oh, I'd rather do that than

stand around in a lab coat. I, I, I, this is what I always say. It ruins, in some ways it can ruin your acting career. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then why, why do so many stand-ups who, they get so much exposure, then they get movies, and then they kind of just ditch the stand-up? They do because a lot of them do, you know what I'm saying? I honestly, I honestly think it's a lot easier. Stand-up? No. Oh, acting. Yeah. I think people get lazy. And I feel like they've done it. Like, dude, like, they've done it. You do three, four specials, and you're like, all right, you know, I get that. It's also hard.

It's also hard to come up with new shit. Yeah, especially, especially if you're like a superstar and you have to take the next leg. Thank you. No, he didn't say, no, no. Well, if you're a superstar and you got to take. I hear you. And you got to, but you got to take to the next

level. Right, right. There's a lot. There's a lot of pressure. So then something go, you know what, I'm just going to make rush hour seven. But then you're shooting a page a day. And, you know, a lot of it's like when you're doing a movie like that, you're at, you're the center of attention, and you like everybody. You're having fun. You're hanging out with a bunch of people. But I don't know, man.

Personally, I've never done, in a lot of ways, I've never done an acting job when I didn't want it to be over. Yeah. Although I love the Goldbergs. I really love doing it. Yeah, but you can't wait for it to be over. You just said that. Yeah, you just literally admitted it. You threw them under the bus.

You threw them under the bus and you honestly turn on your castmates and your crew. No, no, no. I do turn on the bus. I think you're super fortunate? No, no, no. The Goldbergs is what I really have a last one. No, no, no, but don't backtrack. That's the first time I've had a really good time.

That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. But you turned on your teamsters. Yeah, you did. Yeah. You did. No.

You did. Yeah, I don't know, man. But I'm surprised. Is that why you haven't done, pursued it as much? No, I have. I'm going to do. You shot a major movie. Yeah, I'm going to do interesting parts that I find interesting that I want to do that are different for me that are fun.

But do I want to play the fucking sixth lead in a movie that's a comedy where it, I think it's kind of funny when I do what I think is exactly funny every night on stage. Yeah. No. No, but you're a sixth lead, you know? Hey, what? Dude. I don't know for now.

Anyway. Well, but is Saturday Night Live? Oh, no, I love Saturday Night Live. I would fucking love to do it. You do it? How can we don't try out for it? No, I think at this point. You passed that?

No, I don't know if I'm past that. But no, no, but I think that Saturday Night Live is always trying, and I think rightfully so, I think this is what makes it so fucking, one of the reasons it makes it so good is because they try to find they try to discover people you know what i mean true you know and everyone usually goes on to do some gnarly shit do like those guys they just let go like i see uh what's the black guy's name he's uh which one uh j fair oh j fair oh yeah yeah you see he just has a show oh yeah yeah white famous right yeah yeah yeah like they all go on to do cool shit do people i audition now you would know better like do they it depends like their biggest uh season

their biggest rating ever was last season they had the rock on though no but you know what though honestly I was talking to Pete Davidson who I love I think he's fucking hilarious and he's on SNL and he was like I want to do more stand-up

it's tough with the SNL but I was like but I was like yeah but you do stand up sometimes on the weekend updates and shit like that and I'm like dude that's gonna get more exposure than anything I mean you look at some of those SNL clips they're like 13 million views on YouTube?

That's where it gets big. Oh, yeah, dude. Because, like, now, think about Saturday Night Live, let's say they have a funny skit, like, name something, the rock, playing with girls, something like that. They take that clip and they upload it digitally, and then it gets, like, 14 million views the next day.

It's like a carpool karaoke. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he would do it the late, late night show. He'd do it on there, and then it sort of get viral. And then, so they let's not even a million. Let's say 600,000 watch it at 2 in the morning. Right. But the next morning, they would upload social media or YouTube.

17 million views 20 million views he's killing it those guys are fucking killing now it's so cool it's over to iTunes you have to pay for it wow the small production value and then you get that that's amazing I know but the key to that is

you have to have the connections to these superstars to make it happen so you got like Justin Bieber Jeffrey Lopez right right right right it's a great idea but you're still yeah and you guys are stuck with me I'm sorry guys

well don't be sorry man you've been begging us Who are the people Who are the actors That you like What are the Do you have a movie Like movies that you fucking loved?

Yeah Oh well no I have a style of movie That I love watching Which are? Like think of anything With Michael Douglas And I'll watch it

Like any thriller like that Yeah Like yeah I love like Perfect murder game All that shit Yeah I love those movies

Those are the movies That I want to do Really? Yeah That's what I'm saying You're gonna do like I thought you're gonna do Like bridesmaids

But well no i would but no but like i would love to do something like that but like it would have to be like on a large scale which that would be but it's like yeah but what i'm saying is jud aptile produced no of course it's like the three of us obviously obviously dude chill man you're really thirsty and so really thirsty but um super annoyed at him um no but like i'm super thirsty but like I get like where I'm like my level I'm getting like if I'm getting an offer to do something it's it's not that obviously it's it's like a way smaller movie why not and it's like I don't want to take the time

out of the schedule where I'm see I'm surprised you're not getting those bigger offers it makes no sense to me I mean who's your man to talk to them the last movie I did there's a disconnect I'm sorry between I'm sorry but between fucking studios and movie people and they don't understand what your presence is stand up and social media-wise. I don't think they're, I still think they're missing it. I really do. They're not talking to each other those two worlds. Look, I'm gonna jerk you off here like a Chuck Liddell last night on Brian Callum. Yeah. Well, yeah, when you get, there's

few guys when they come to the comedy store, you know what I'm saying? Like, everyone's like, oh, fuck yeah, man. Like, when you walked in, everyone's like, yeah. Oh, cool, thanks. Yeah, like, there's that guy who's like Brian Callan. Okay, you're gonna, you took the compliment right, right, right, right, that's what I apologize. I got offered that that role that I did, um, for this movie from, and that's a Sony picture.

I mean, that's a huge movie. It's a big one. But it's a drama. So I was like, what? Good on the director for deciding you could do it. It's also a leap of faith because the character you're playing. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense when I look at you.

It makes sense. Okay. Yeah. Like when I heard of that, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's Chris. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Guys, I know you're thinking what you're thinking, but it's not a hero. It's not a superhero.

No, that's not what they were thinking. Yeah, they were. You'll never play a superhero. Really, dude? Really, dude? Yeah. You don't think so, dude? Yeah.

I don't think so. My fucking striations say otherwise. Don't. You don't have striations. Oh, I don't, dude? I do. I have them in my chest. If I shaved my chest, it would be ridiculous.

I did fucking dips yesterday between two chairs. That's not a brag. I know, but I did until I dropped practically. So you did seven? Ignored my kids. They were playing around me. Just have them sit in the chair. Yeah, but they were playing.

Well, have you sit on your lap. Nope, they want to play. I was like, I was like, I was like, like move daddy got work to do i got i got work to do and then i send you guys my workout just to yeah sometimes you guys get a little too comfortable well no you know i could eat your ass that's a lot of fucking weight i can eat both your abs that you were deadlifting a smart car it was too heavy it was too heavy and i don't want you to do that i don't want you to do that and also i want you to take that hat off that you send pictures of us in oh yeah yeah you have to oh you're talking about my

my johnny dev hat yeah yeah just be a giant powerhouse don't know no You're not going to accept my artist. I respect you saying no in your face like that. I like that a lot. But still I think that I need to burn. I think there's a lonely incinerator somewhere and I think that it needs that hat. I agree. You throw that away.

I'm an artist. I'll pop it off your head. I'm an artist in that hat. You're fine, but it's my artistic expression. You're a bull. You're a bull. If he can wear that, I can wear my hat. It's fine.

You're an artist. Thank you, you are an artist. Don't get carried away. Do we tell you something? He's not, say it again. Let me tell you something. I will never say it again. But here's the deal.

If you can tell someone's an artist from here up, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kill them. Yeah, no, no, I agree. Kill them. If I had Johnny Depp in right now, he begged Def. You're not Johnny Depp, bro. And you're not Jared Letto.

Let me tell you something. You're too big to be those same shoes. Hey, dude, those guys need to get a different wardrobe, period. Don't care who they are. I don't care if you're, I don't care if you're, I don't care how many awards you won. I agree. Don't care how good yard acting. Don't wear all that goddamn jewelry. Bring those guys out. Bring up Jerry, no. Bring up Jared Leto. Bring up Jared Leto. Jewelry, no. Scarves? No. You in the tundra? Bye. I agree. Don't wear a scarf when it's

breezy out. Agree. He's a beautiful boy. Jared Letto is beautiful. But when he dressed up like the Joker, it looked like it was just Tuesday for him. Bye. Bye. Yeah, yeah, no. He's a beautiful man and talented as fuck, but he almost gets... Look at that hat. Look at it. I got the same hat. Oh, you're not giving it up. No, I'm not giving it up. No, I'm not giving it up, but yeah, I respect it, but not him. Oh, I mean, no, that's the wrong argument.

The argument is, don't wear that. What's wrong with that? What the fuck is, what's wrong with a nice hat? You know, in the 50s, old men wore hats, even gangsters? He's a beautiful delicate man. Bring up Al Capone. He's a beautiful. wears hats like that. He's a beautiful delicate man. Talk shit to Al Capone. You deadlift 600 pounds for

reps. You're a bull giant. Bull giants are not allowed to wear dainty hats. Wrong argument, Brian. Look at Al Capone. What, you're going to make fun of Al Capone? Well, you're not, is Al Capone? Well, is Al Capone? He had a fat face. He either went one of the other. He's a gangster. You're trying to be all, gangsters wear hats. You're trying to be all Metro and artistic and kind of mysterious. Look at it. It's tilted to the side. He's a stupid fox. You guys are arguing about this. all wrong. So what's argument, Chris? Don't wear it, period.

Why? There's no this guy, that guy. You wear a ball cap, or you wear no hat? And maybe you wear a fucking ski hat if it's cold out. I agree. Sit. Oh, wait. Sit. No, keep going on. What's wrong with? You're telling me that What's wrong with that? Here's what's

wrong with that. That's a... That's a... That's a... That's a... That's a costume. You know what he's dressed like? A funky aunt. See ya. He's dressed like the fucking annoying single aunt that comes over. That is so true. Hey man what are you wearing? That's so true. You look like a fucking

asshole dude. I agree with that. I'm not rocking that ridiculous outfit. It's fine. I get it. He's talented as shit. He's handsome as shit. I get it. He's rich. He figured it out. He's not rich. Change it. He's not rich anymore. He's on a different level.

Jared Lettow's killing it. Jared Leto actually looks good No, he doesn't wear scarves and all that weird shit Yeah He, he, uh, it's just deep vanity You know what the thing is? It works on him, but you know what the thing is? You guys don't know fashion

I know fashion, bro I got the ultra-buson, the cuffed pants Freakuntz shirt Get that at Chrysalia.com You know, I do like your shirt Don't try to sell shirts on my pie I do like your shirts, I'll give you that. Thank you.

I got the Miondi's on. You guys know about Miondi, Miondi family. Hey, bro. Listen, Jack, you don't think me and he's called us first? What do you think of Chris? I went, horrible fashion sense. You know why they called you?

You think his dick will fit in our boxers? That's what they said. They said that. I have a transcribe from them in an email. I don't think so. Hey, bro. You guys go, maybe if he wrapped it around his fucking trunk. Hey, Lucy Goose, let me ask you something.

Your podcast, congratulations. It's killing it. It gets not, it gets 100,000. It gets 100,000. It's just you talking to the mic? 100,000 downloads of mine. Yeah. about a hundred thousand dollars more yeah a little more how many per episode though

not much so much well that's not a number you're in general my producer told me not to share the information i don't know if your producer said you just do it on your iPhone hey your mouth i have a whole setup just like this in your house yeah that's pretty sweet it's on video now if you guys check it out on youtube typing christmas 17 yeah dude but i know but i'm on my 2018 shit yeah but you're not i am dude i am you start doing hey got i i um yeah i'm yeah i'm yeah i um yeah Hey, Callan, how scared was he to start a podcast? I didn't know how to do it. Godfather's a podcasting.

No, I didn't say that, dude, but I fucking did it. You three or something? You asked us, hey, how many thirsty questions that he asked about podcast? Not to be a thing. Not to be a thing. I'll only say the facts, and this is not to be a thing. We were standing there and don't get upset. And I'm spilling the beans.

yourself at our feet and your face yeah see and your face was on the ground it was dirty dude please help us please help me don't that's what you said i didn't do you threw yourself you threw yourself the feet and the the the reverberation of the ground made you fart a little like that and then you go please help me don't do i helped you to your feet and i and i slapped you around a little bit to wake you up and then i and i i put you in order did you say you think you said rise and i rose no it didn't happen Yeah. And then you set 20,000 texts. I got a text from Chris.

Oh, you know why? Because you don't get back when you need some. Especially. Listen, get your finger out of my face. Here's what Chris sent me yesterday. He went to eat. And I wasn't there. I was hanging still at the store.

And I get a text and said, just a picture of food. What was it? And I get this text. Come instantly. and then I didn't answer and he goes I said instantly and then I came

and as I left I got this text I was driving home you're welcome for everything well I fucking rocked it dude and I don't get appreciation

I rocked it last night you shouldn't reach other's text ads on a podcast well no because sometimes you want a show to come to a screeching halt

right Ryan's known for that he'll read some podcasts yeah I like with Chris Pretanzi knows MMA oh Dude, if there's one thing I know, it's MMA.

Yeah. Bellador? Bellator? Hey, Chris. When Chuck Ladell came in and everyone was sucking them off. Oh, dude. Did you know who was? We scurried like fucking roaches with the lights on.

Yeah. Did you know who? Rogen hid behind a car. Did you know where he was? Chuckendell? Chuckendell? Chuckendell? Chippendell?

I know who Chuck Ladell is, dude. Did you see him, have you ever seen him fight? Yeah. I fought him. imagine how that would go oh for fuck's sake wow yeah it wouldn't go oh no no oh really dude you think so come on man no shit dude all right man you never been in a fight huh yeah bro yeah when when street fight have you ever have you ever have you ever roast so on stage so bad they want to get up and fight you street fights field fights um because you know you know

Jeremiah Watkins he does Tony Hinchcliffe he's like that so much he was making fun of someone on Kill Tony and a dude got up and punched him

in the face Are you serious? Yeah I tried to punch him Like probably three four months ago How the fuck Did I never hear this

You gotta They got him out of He was a mess He did stand-up Right He was doing stand-up And Jeremiah made fun of him Right

Well you know Kill Tony Yeah Yeah It's like You saw it With the crocodile Yeah

It's fucking hilarious So weird So funny It was funny For sure do the show I know I know back on that show um anyone try sucker punching that beak nose or hey dude well it's proportionate

right i'm six fucking two i tell you right now no one's inviting us to a cocaine party the three of us yeah well you do blow no i don't do blow dude i'll be honest when i first met chris i thought you did every drug in the book everyone like i was like can i get so he's actually never even smoked no i know no drinks nothing you don't even drink you no pussy hey what the fuck have you ever had alcohol in your mouth? Nah. What a bitch. You're a dick in your mouth?

You're a goody, goody, too shoes. I'm out of hand this conversation. Hey, oh, I know I don't want to ask you. What? Our boy chin is on Tinder. He's 40 as fuck single. You got a Tinder master here.

You know a thing or two about Tinder. I've never been on Tinder. I know, but you know that you're young enough. Oh, what? What's up? Well, he's on Tinder and he's not. Hey, ho! Yo, this is the third time.

Your foot was in the way. I didn't mean. But it's the third time, dude. Hey, these shoes are white. You can't do that. These shoes are white. You can't do that. They shot the fucking scenes in Game of Thrones where fucking John Snow is roaming around the mountains on these shoes, man.

And you're going to step on them? They were in the way. I apologize. I didn't mean to step on him. You can clean them. You 40 on Tinder? You're 40 on Tinder, but he's not doing it. He's not striking out.

Well, do you say you're 40 on Tinder? I do. Well, yeah, you probably got to say you're 39. I got to probably change that. That's what's a big one. What? What sucks is you don't, you seem young. Yeah.

But, so if a girl hears 40, it's not fair. It's actually not fair. Even though I don't, I never lie about my age. You don't lie about your age. But, like, it sucks because like a 25-year-old girl could see you and be like, oh, yeah, of course. But it says 40s like that. I know. Because they don't even look and see you.

That's a great point. Oh, because they put the 30, they go 40, fuck it. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Put 27 on there. Well, I mean, you know, put 12. I think put 12. Because you'll be between, you'll be between 25 and 40 or so, right?

Because I think when you get 40, you're in a different bracket. Oh, Brian, dude. What the fuck are you saying? Sometimes, sometimes just take a fucking back seat. I want to be part of this. You're saying what we're saying only with way too many words and after we said it. Okay. Fuck.

Yeah, guys, sorry, man. I'm about the bus, Chris. Chris. Don't bust. Like, come? No. Oh. Like bust in anger on your face. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It sounds like coming. No, I'm just throbbing. Yeah. Brian does that. It sounds like you're going to come. Don't take it. Hey, but, uh, yeah. Pisses me off with this Google shit when they make it all cute. It's cool. Could be a fucking dude. It's not cute, dude. Hey, it's free con. They can just say Google and that's it.

Fuck you. It's free con. Do what you want. But change it. Hey, but what can Chin do to get some ladies, man. I mean, you're no, no, no, no, no, no. Just, uh, the age. There, there, I figured it out already. That's a huge one. Because, so the way it works be is on Tinder, you can do like, you can basically filters. If they go under 30, they're not even seeing shit. Yeah, they're not even fucking seeing him. Here's the other problem, though, and we get, we get a lot of emails, I have some Asian friends. They say, uh, Asian male in America, it's the hardest to get matches. Say you're mixed, bro. Say you're mixed. You're Probably mixed somewhere.

You, are you from the future? Dude, what the fuck? Are you from the team? Hello, I am from the future. Now, you're not involved. You're not involved. I'm going to my 2018 shit, dude. Can't your son mess is off.

You guys, do you guys want me to tell you what happens? Yes. Okay. What happens to me and Brian in the future? You're in trouble. No. You're in trouble. No, I'm, why do you say that?

I'm fucking, I'm busting with creativity right now. right the doge right the doge out there Brian can you please do 30 minutes that's too long for the comedy store we don't care we don't care well no he sees the future Rogan was like hey the crowd's kind of tough you know and I was like I went

really you did that yeah did you say they were kind of tough they were tough for everybody and I was like that's really obnoxious let me close this bad boy out and Red the doge

cat pulled murder murder You actually did have a really great set last night. You really, really did. And it bugged me. Why? I want you to fail. Why?

Yeah, I want you to fail. And I'm just going to come out and say it. And I don't care. Don't be that way. You like when Brian fails? I like when my friends fail. Hey, bro. Because it gives me room to rise.

It does. And I want to be on-ta, standing literally on you guys. Both of us? Yeah, standing. I know. I'm sorry. It sucks. It's a real bad character flaw. But it's not changing. I'm 37. You can't unlearn when you're 37. You have terrible character. You can. You can change your ways, bro. Can you? We root for you. Thank you. No, don't. I want to stand on you. No. You're mean, man. You're mean. I know I'm a bad person.

It's for conscious. Hey, you know what's funny? It's true. Some no comics would have ever admit that or friends. Some people like that. Yeah. It's weird, man. It's so weird when friends think that. Well, the thing about comedy is, like, if you succeed, it's better for me. It doesn't take away from you. You're not stealing a spot.

You're not stealing a spot that I can't get now. Right. Well, I'm not stealing your, like, fans are like, God, Chris or Brian and Brendan. It helps everything. It's the same thing you talk about Netflix. You watch Dave Chappelle, and then it suggests Jerry Seinfeld. That's good for Jerry Seinfeld. I swear to God.

That's how it is. It's more than that, too, with my friends. But that's the mentality for some guys. With my friends, if they're not doing well, I stress out. Yeah, you want them to do well. I get breaks to my heart if they're like, oh, Brian sold three tickets in Nashville. Right, right, right, right. Which he did, which he did.

I went, hold on. I thought to tweet it. Guys, don't say that. If they text, they're like, listen, there's only can come and save the day. Brian sold eight tickets. Yeah, when Nashville's like, hey, we're going to relocate the show to a dry cleaning place. No, no, no. When in like, like, this.

This weekend in Philly, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, when I sell huge amounts of tickets. See, they're already texting me like, at Healing Comedy Club this weekend, starting tomorrow. It's going to be, it's going to be great. Yeah, it should already be so loud. Maybe it is, all right? Let me check my phone. Yep. Oh, that was quick.

You also pick up your wallet and it was covering your phone. Well, I have an app that goes to my wall. Now, did you post today that you're there tomorrow? You haven't. No, see, Brian also posted last night a video of us saying, hey, I'm going to be at Helium. Oh, yeah. That's all he said. But at what time?

Nobody, no, he said. No, I'm saying, but I'm saying what time did you post that video? Midnight. Midnight. I actually don't know. No, fuck you. It's 3 a.m. in Philadelphia. That's true.

If people are buying your tickets, they won't see that. I'll do it tonight. Here's the other thing. Here's the other thing, too. Here's the other thing, too. He just said, I'm going to be at helium. He didn't say where it was. Philadelphia.

Yeah, there's all their helium clubs. There's a shitload of helium. People don't know what the fuck that. means. Where would they get the tickets? Well, and he didn't put the link in it. I'll put the link. All right, today I'm going to do a video for us. You're going to

plan it? Today I'm going to do a video for us. I don't give a fuck if somebody goes and sees you in Philadelphia. I want them to not go. Why? Why would you be that delicious? I'd rather them stay

home and watch my Netflix special. No. Either of them. What if my, so if my, if my, if it's empty, there are six people, what is your face going to be like? Ew. Hey, ew. I want to go like that. Ew.

If I'm like, hey, Chris, you call me up. Yeah. Hey, man. Hey, how to go? What happened with the show? Only, it's so annoying. I'm so pissed off. 16 people were in the audience.

Well, you're all right? No. Yeah, that's so, well, you know, you'll be able to... Tomorrow's not selling well either. What are you doing? Nothing? What did you breathe in the... I was, I'm cold. It's cold outside.

Oh. Anyway, I hope Saturday is big. I hope so. Yeah, me too. I hope so. They're telling me it's not going to be. You know, there are people like that who just... You know, they, so sociopaths, they do this thing where this guy used to, set fires one of the one of the things is that this guy would uh he would like set a fire at the post

office and he would wait and watch the chaos yeah watch the chaos I read that another guy my friend is a lawyer my friend's a lawyer who who fucking um uh represents this kid over and over again and his parents are super wealthy he'll start a fire and he will then dress up like a fireman I've seen him He'll stand there and he will guide traffic away from the fire and he gets off on it. And my friend's, yep, and my friend gets a call and he's like, well, I gotta go represent the fucking pyro. Because he gets arrested. He's a, yeah, he gets arrested at me. He's a pyro man.

He's a real loser, huh? He was crazy. You heard that about the book Point of Origin though, where the guy was a, was a, was a, he could never make the police force. Right. And he, so he became like a, a fireman. but he was on a really low rung and shit or some kind of bullshit and he would go set fires

and go and pretend to put him out and he was this arsonist this big arsonist the book's called point of origin I read it so long awful no you sold it I've pitched it really really good right

well this is not this is actually not that I'm coming you're saying the same story it's not that I forgot what happened there was a volunteer firefighter on an Indian reservation who started this massive fire recently well recently five years ago

but you know um and they found out it was it was him yeah he was a firefighter yeah it might be the same story yeah people are people are such sick there are some it's weird dude it's weird it's weird like um yeah i don't i don't know but i don't like you okay so i was watching this thing the other day i don't know why this kind of makes me think of this but like they were like oh what was it oh was that uh have you seen the keepers i have on netflix yes yes yes yes you know so destroy your innocence. Have you seen true confessions? No, not yet, but it's in my thing.

I saw you guys were talking about it. Do it. Yeah. When you guys were together and I had binoculars outside of your window. Oh, man. Yeah. What were you going to say? The guy says, like, everybody has a dark secret and you're asking us to expose our darkest secret.

That's what we feel like. And I thought, like, I don't really, I don't know. I don't have a dark secret. I don't have a dark secret. Yeah. I mean, in other words, No, I have... You two shit me?

No, no, no, I'm a... I'm both do well. You just know me. You shit me? I mean, you both your dark secrets. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You know my dark secrets. Do you know what I'm saying?

I don't have one. Nope. Hey, what are you doing with that sign? What? Oh, what? You... No, no, no, I'm saying... You became so like...

Sinister. Crow. I just, I don't have a dark secret. Oh my God You're saying dark secret Like you know me You know me It's like you don't fucking

Like Brian you kill people or Brian Yeah No you don't What's all this animal porn I see And you're fucking you know what? Yeah yeah yeah like kitty porn Like you don't have that shit But people do that shit

Of course they do Of course they mean Like super... Chris, do you have any dark secrets? No, of course not. All of a sudden I have a monocle. Do you have a dungeon? No.

I don't have a dungeon. No. Oh, dude, I got to get a dungeon, bro. That's the thing I'm going to be in my next purchase. A dungeon? That's some Nicholas Cage shit. Like where it's like always wet and it's just like you hear bloop, and there's like a lot of steel.

Blois. in the background like where is that and there's just with stalactites there's just yeah stilactites and like

like dark like what do you call them cubby areas where you're just like what is what's in there and then you look and then you kind of see like and you see like kind of eyes

like in the back you're like those eyes and you look closer and you're like oh they're not eyes but they were eyes why would you want that though Chris what are you doing down there I just have too much money

I need to spend on digging no I'm digging? Yeah, just to have trucks coming in. Are you going to have somebody dig your dungeon and then you're going to slay them? Oh, good idea. Oh, dude. I'll hire them and then I'll be like, so thank you.

The dungeon's done. And now for my first captive. And then I go, and then I go shing. And it's already like, it's hooked up. And they go, no, no, no. And it's like, ah! And it's the guy who made the dungeon for me. And then they're slays?

And I don't stop laughing for 50 minutes. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then they're like sex slay for you. Yeah, I could fuck him. It's a guy. I don't care. It's not even a sexual thing.

It's a power thing. I don't want to do it, but I know he doesn't want me to. Do you know what I mean? So that's why you're doing it? It's not gay. You just want to... And I say, the worst part about this is, I'm not even happy doing it.

The best part about it, rather, yeah. And you tie his... And then I take ice cold, ice. I take ice, and I tell him it's fucking, um, uh, hot, hot, poters. And he doesn't know. because when a temperature is so extreme. You can't tell.

He goes, and then I turn around and go, it's just ice. I fucked with your mind. Oh, wow. It's a real mind. It's a real mind. I don't let him go.

Like prisoners of war. You never let him go. I don't let him go. Do you feed him though? Yeah, I feed him just, just enough. And I tell him, and I tell him, I'd get all of his information, anything he ever knew. I'd get information from him. For what, though?

I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's just fun. You log it. I log it in my pocket. There was a guy in Italy. I'm way ahead of you. With pink hair like this.

This guy in Italy who was, I guess, Iranian. Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. I respect that shit. He'll touch your face whenever he wants. No, don't do that. He's got a hundred pounds on you.

You're 130? I'm 170 and I'm scrappy as all fucking get out. Don't say. I'm scrappy. And I'll be honest. Fuck both of you. Ask me how I do against Brennan. Ask me how I do.

Be honest. Ask me how I do what. And this is how I answer all my questions. About what? Like if I say, how would you do against Brennan in a fight? How would you do against Brendan in a fight? Keep him busy. I don't know what that means.

Yeah, because he'd be with the police filling out a report. Hey, he's busy eating your ass. Yeah. It sounds like sexual. No, I'll do no new term. Like, when I say eat your ass, it means. I like it. I like it.

As a matter of fact, it's, it's, rappers sometimes, like cannabis said, you know, I can't say the N word, but he says, I can't eat my ass, like, you know, and it's not a, I can't say the N word, but that's the lyric. Sure you can. Bill Mark, man.

It's nutmeg. That's what he says. Not me. Wait, I was going to say, oh, this Iranian guy in Italy. This guy, this Iranian guy, he was a karate, he was a karate, a teacher, and he had these two, like he was there, and he was eating at a cafe,

and he met these two Japanese girls. They were touring. and they're really sweet and he goes you know i teach martial arts come to my studio and his apartment apparently was above the studio's name he takes them up and rapes them and then this is real a real thing yeah he rapes them and they're like these javanese girls that what the fuck and then he he makes them pasta feeds them and then and then and then and then and then releases them the night got a lot better after the rape they go right to the cops the cops come to his apartment they go what the fuck he's got a shirt off he's eating and they go what the fuck you know and he goes what and they go you rape

these girls he goes well first of all first of all i gave them a tour second of all i gave them my dick because they don't get dick like this in japan and third i fed them pasta what the fuck are you talking about like he was outraged where the cops like they didn't like the cup like hey crazy they arrested the shit out of i could see they arrested the shit out of i could see you do it You becoming that. What? Yeah, that would be

far fed for Brian. Three of us? Yeah. Hey, you would do it. Just, yeah, like we gave that narrative

and we just asked like common people around here like who would do that eating after a workout? Yep. What? I gave them my essence. Imagine thinking,

imagine like fucking and then in the middle of fucking thinking, I'm going to cook these girls pasta. Like that's so funny to me. Man, you miming that is so intense. It's so intense. It's his hair.

Why are you? It's fucking long here. Because her head's here, so I'm going this way. I don't want balk or fucking head, you know space? Do you know how space works? Well, you're a gang, gang. You don't want to fucking bong their heads?

Yeah, do. Oops. Oh, wow. You want to bonged heads when you make love? Chris, your hair flicks like that. I've literally never fucked. I've only made love, by the way. Oh, come on. Even to all of the hookers.

Oops. Darts secret. Darts secret. Oops. On the last show, we're talking about there's a Russian dude that ate 30 people. Oh, well, his wife, he and his girlfriend.

He and his wife, 30 people. They pickled hands and shit. They killed, he and his wife killed. That's real. Yeah. Oh, my God. Do some current events, speaking of. Wait, how about the fucking director,

the horror film director in Hollywood last year who fucking drained his girlfriend of all her blood? what yes oh my god I didn't hear this come on he's a horror film director he comes from a really rich Canada family

his model girlfriend Canada family or Canadian he also scalper he comes from really rich Canada family pull it up on Google the fucking guy

he's a horror film director this bring him up he's in L.A this fucking nut and and um well by the way

horror film director killer is probably the worst thing because I would say Chin's not That's a past on interview. Listen, he might be the word. This moron, this moron, this moron, horrible, drains her of her blood.

And then, guess what? Is it his life? It was his girlfriend. The fucking, um... Kill's girlfriend? He did the perfect crime because you can't Google it. This, it was just in, it was two days ago. He, um, it was two days ago.

He said it was a year ago. This moron, this moron, he did it a year ago. Oh, oh. This fucking moron. Jesus. Um, hard writer accused him imitating novel by murder and girlfriend. Okay. Yeah, this guy.

Okay. Damn, she's not bad. But she's beautiful. Look at him. Look at him. This fucking moron comes from a really rich family. That was right after he said, I'm going to drag your blood.

He's death may after allegedly torturing and murdering his girlfriend and then drawing her blood. And Grizzly seems reminiscent of one of his own plots. He's like, what are you? 35 sign of wealthy Canadian families. Three weeks after she gave birth to their baby daughter. What? Hold out.

Please found her body of the couple's West Hollywood Flat. That's next door to you, Chris. After her occasion's mother requests that they make a welfare call. Author of a graphic novel. A screenwriter who was also the author of graphic novel had locked himself inside and barricade the front door with furniture and bedding. Oh yeah, because that would keep the cops out. Furniture and bedding.

And after officers forced the way in, they found Cajian dead from Stained Blentforced Traumeter head. Cajun was tortured and mulated before she was killed. All her blood was drained from her body. But look at this part. Liable was arrested and suspicion of sexual assault and freed on $100,000

or L-69-400. What is L-69-400? guys that those are those are pounds i'm no it says hell no no no those are those are bounds okay okay those are the pounds it's that's fucking awful man how about how hey dude hey how about how awful this world is uh it's so awful and so that's somebody's child i mean it's beyond what you can imagine what a piece of shit well he's just what else you got chin he's a psycho crazy that's honestly you just got to kill those people no well that that that guy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah But also he wrote about it.

The cops were like, well, you wrote about a feature of a serial killer murdering a couple and hanging from naked by their ankles to drain their blood. You know. Yeah. You did it. Yeah. You did it. That guy's constantly going like this.

Oh, my God. The depravity. I don't know. That's what I'd call a dark secret if you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be super. Well, yeah. All right.

Let's go to some. What do you got, Jim? Okay. Now, all I know is that bomb fell had me fill out. some stuff that they put a lot of pride in their company. They're like, bum, bum, bum, let me say, oh, bumfell. And they were like, we don't want you talking about it until you basically get clothing from us.

And I did. I had anonymously send me some clothing. How simple was it being straightforward? They sent me, the jeans, the shirt. Flexible. Fantastic stuff. Really good quality stuff. Listen, this is how it goes down for some of the best clothes delivered straight to

your door. you sign up tell bonfell about yourself your measurements your style preference and set your budget limits tell them what you want in your next order like two button downs pair jeans skinny jeans black jeans whatever you want your personal styles will put together your clothing picks send you a preview email just to make sure you dig it you can cancel or change anything you don't like you have seven days to try everything on after receiving it return only what you want to keep and that you're actually going to wear you only pay for what you keep you're actually going to wear you only pay for what you keep you shipping is free on both ends it's so damn easy bomb fell is offering you guys $25 off your first purchase when you visit bomb fell that's B-O-M-B-F-E-L-L dot com slash fighter that's bomb fell B-O-M-B-F-E-L dot com slash fighter bomb fell open and close sorry rapper B-O-B he started a go-fund me page to send a satellite up into the sky to prove that the earth. It's not I don't believe that. He's joking.

He's that dumb. He's just doing this for publicity. He's also a rapper. Your GPS works on the fact that the earth is kind of... What's he say? What up, guys? Let me see this. We'll be able to tell if he's real if you play it. What's up, y'all? It's Flat Earth Bob here. Yeah, he's joking.

Go find me because I would like to send one, if not multiple satellites as far into space. This is a stunt. I don't know if I can to find the curve. I really, I'm looking for the curve. No, he's joking. No, he's not. He's been

like this for a while. I know. I know. I know, but no, come on. It only raised. That's not a real thing people do. He should try to read. He's tried to read anything. Our boy, Eddie Bravo. He really thinks that? Yeah. Why? Because they're just, I don't know. It gives them an identity. They don't really believe. Why would this guy do

it, though? He gives him an identity. They'd get to belong to a community. It's so hilarious. But just join a poker player. You also got a long ways to go. Talk to a GPS. Also, even if you raise the money, it's going to be tough to get those satellites.

When you launch a rocket and, you know, space travel. What? It's all, it's all contingent on the Earth being around and all the math is concerned. But also. The theory of relativity.

Also, a million ain't going to cover it. Who's going to launch those satellites? He's obviously very intelligent. NASA's like, you got a million? All right, we'll do it. It's obviously very smart and also has done a lot of reading. But there are some sort of, smart guys who do do a lot of reading

that do it. That's not fair to say, B. I don't think so. There are some smart guys that do it. Your definition of smarts what? Well, I think they're just, they don't read or they're just... No, that's not true. That's not true. There's some flat earthers to read. It'd be impossible to No, there's some guys who are, you can't say

they're all stupid. It would be impossible to be educated and think the earth is flat. Let's just put it that way. I just don't buy it. I disagree. I mean, there's not... There's some smart guys. Okay, but why do they think the earth is flat? There's no scientists in the world that would, There's no scientists in the world that would say the Earth is flat. None.

None. If we Google right now, scientists, because they do, I'm not, I think they're bad shit crazy. We can't say they're all stupid or not, not well red. I can and I will. I can and I will. It's just not true. That's one of his posts. Hold on.

The city's in the background in our box. These are, this is so hilarious. I can't talk about it. Well, B.OB doesn't count, but there's some legit scientists for whatever reason. There aren't. There aren't. a joke though this guy's joking yeah well but he's a rapper yeah yeah but nobody's that dumb that's that's over six i know we all went school i know it's mind-blowing it's mind-blowing

anyway but let's move on let's move on check this out so it's possible that we'll be able to figure out if someone has c t while they're still living good because of this new study what's C-T. Brain trauma. Traumatic encephalopathy. Yeah. Really? I don't know.

You know what CT is? No. Say brain trauma and we're good. Well, you know what it is because you have it. Correct. I don't think he does. I definitely do. Well, I'm joking.

I don't know if you had enough, but you got knocked around on the noggin a few times, right? Yeah. So how are they going to find it? So after a bunch of different people donated their brains, they noticed that one thing happened. And they all had elevated levels of CCL-1-1, which is a biomarker to tell you whether or not you have C-T-E. Here's the thing. You can tell through the way people act, their speech, their thought process. All right, let's say they go, you have stage three out of four.

I know. Cool. What now? Oh, we don't know. But this is a way, when this is found that opens the door to treatment. I don't know if I've ever asked you. That's how that's figured out. It's the first stage, so they'll figure it out from there.

that's fair step in the right direction when you were training I don't know if I've talked to you about this but when you were training sparring football did you did you and before any of this made mainstream

did you even think about CTE or? No one did I've had many many It was too early You just never thought about it Yeah it was too early But you was like

It was like almost a pride thing Well no it's like I got my bell wrong It's like ah me too That was like the game You know It's like It's what you sign up for

Right Wow It's part of the game that's fucked up what the fuck congratulations is my podcast I want you to subscribe Chris have you ever had a concussion

Nah Oh dude He wears a fucking His mom makes him wear a helmet at home Ain't that right Even now She wraps your head in towels Even now

And pets you Even now Yeah that's why I'm so jealous You get to wear hats You never did sports did you I did what do you mean For fucking so long And I did

And I did basketball And you just lay down the guard. Have you ever actually passed anybody's guard ever? I'm just asking. I think I could out jujitsu you. Well, no, I can. No, you can't.

Don't look at me like that. Yeah, I can. Don't look at me like that. What else you got, Jen? Halloween's coming up. And in this town, if you're caught trick-or-treating over the age of 16, you can get fined up to $200. That's a fair point.

Fuck yeah, dude. That's the fucking... Dude, where is that? That's it. That's the future. That's the future. Bathurst, New Brunswick. What the fuck is that? But yes. You know why? Because teenagers, when they wear masks, they do fucked up things. You know what's a British place is a behavior or with a you. I think it's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah, you shouldn't be 16. Look at, hey, dude. What are you fucking? 30. You're a loser. Hey, dude, go buy candy. Hey, what the fuck do you do for Halloween? That

but it gets pretty weird. You dress up. You dress up? You dress up. You dress up. Like a like a crow. Oh, you are? Oh, well, you're welcome. I just was there. It has nothing to do with you, man. You saw me out there. He made a good idea. He did manicure the target.

Dude, I had a tour out there and I'm kind of like the trailblazer, right? But Brendan, give credit words, do. That's, I would, but that's not, I had a tour out there had to change by John Snow. Our podcast got you out in their, in their brains. Listen up, bro, we, he manicured the possibilities. He manicured the target. He only softened. He softened the legs.

landing pad for you. Dude, you welcome, Australia. And by the way, they love me. No, let me tell you some, dude, it's, I didn't, I don't, you guys do a podcast. That's not why I started a podcast. I don't do a podcast. I have a cult. That's what it is. And I'm starting, and I have a cult, and we're on our way. I'm not even saying. To do what? To Australia? What? No, my cult, congratulations, airs every Monday, Tuesday. Do you know what I want Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monday or Tuesday, bro. By the way.

I keep people on their toes. Little trivia. You only do it once a week? Yeah. Yeah, whatever. That's all we need. Little trivia on a cult. Little trivia on a cult.

What? Do you know what almost all cults have in common? They're white. Okay, what? They basically talk about the end being near. Right. And that the cult is a way out. Do you do that, Chris?

I got to start doing that. Yep. So that's what you do. As a cult leader, you should definitely be talking about how the end is near. Okay. Okay. And in fact, most, like, for example, with ISIS, they basically constantly talk about how the end is near and the Quran's prophesied. So we get up and be gone on the right side of history.

So what you need to do is create, like, the fact that the world's about to end, but the only way out is if you become a baby. No, no, my cult is going to be the opposite of that. The end is even close to near. Yeah, that's like you need to go opposite. It's on. Fuck these cults. This shit's the cult, bro. Okay. The end ain't close to near. We're going to live a long time. And it's going to suck.

Be with me and chill out. We'll venture to a log cabin and party, dude. And by party, I mean, drink coffee. And all the girls go to you. We'll get on stage. Some of us will do some stand-up. And also, we get fucked and sucked a lot. Whoa.

Whoa. He's a baby. I'm a baby. You just got made into a baby. You baby? I'm bad with peer pressure. Don't put pressure on me, guys. I think you're a baby.

You don't even know. No, I don't think so. Oh, you're breathing heavy. you're swallowing. It's just that when people look at me and they put a lot of pressure on me, I can only push too far. You baby? You want to get fucked and sucked? You're a baby. Yeah.

You guys can be elders. What else you got, Jim? You guys can be elders. I'm the elder. Bone. You guys know about this, right? No. Yes. N.C.W.A. coaches and Adidas. They all, like, have this scheme together to pay and bribe

to get these certain students to sign with their schools. and then uh wow these are the coaches right here that's so wrong huh it's not wrong like this is the this is what happens because the NCAA is so crooked literally everybody is making money except for the players right right everyone so when you offer the player money you know like and if you look at any program they all have dark secrets right everyone's doing it just these morons got caught well what would you do what what if you got to pay the players you pay the players and it would stop a lot of how much would you pay them and how would you do that if a player's a star would you yeah no come up

with a business plan immediately right now off the top of your foot head because that's what brian wants very cool brian very cool brian talked about and proposed right no dude rick flair claims he had sex with more than 10,000 women there's no fucking way i believe why how he was how well how many did will chamberlain say he said 2000 also i don't i don't believe rick flair ron germany's came out and said that that's impossible. If you break it down, it's literally impossible. It's like four women a day.

No. No. Break it down. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Let's see them out.

Let's do the matter. How old is he? Well, how old is Rick Fleer right now? 68. So he's 68. Let's say he starts fucking seriously when he's 21. Bring up a young word.

So 21. So he's been fucking for 40 years, 40. I'd say 16. You'd start with right. Say 16. Yeah. All right. 16 minus...

Here, I'll do the thing right here. He's a stud. He's a stud. So what do you... So let's give him a 40-year run. So how do we do it? So how do we do it? What do we do?

So 40 years. So 10,000. What's 40 times 365? I already don't know how to do it. Brian, or shouldn't do this. 40 times 365 is what? I don't do it. Chris, you don't know any.

I already forgot that. 14,000? 14,000, divided... I don't want to do that. So then divide... then divide by 10,000. I'd rather pee. 1.46.

That's one, he's fucking one, basically one half people every day of his life. Yeah, that, who the fuck does that? That's not realistic. No. That's amazing. He's not doing it. No. Unless he had like huge orgies, but, you know, overall.

It's not real. No. Like even Wilts chairman. He's also Rick Flair, not Brad Pitt. I agree. You know what I mean? He's not exactly the dime piece. We're all talking.

It's not. And he also. It's where I'm. Flair. Yeah, yeah. He's fucking Rick Flair. I don't know what, I don't know. Back in the 70s, there was probably crazy origin. Hey, Brian. Oh, you still buy it. Shut the fuck up. You can't say that to me. Thank you. I can't say that to me. You're basically fucking two girls a day, every day of your life since you were 16. Hey, hey, hey, dude. You got, you got to do more, you got to do more than that and not that. It's a lot. Yeah. Uh, we're about done,

huh? Nope. What else you got chin? You shut your feet. sat here too long, huh? How long is your podcast? And I do an hour and plus, but, oh, dude, it doesn't have been an hour and 20 minutes, dude. Hey, dude, let me tell you something. If you're still listening, you rule. If you're still listening, you're not a baby. Dude, go to my podcast and start that.

Look at Brian. Still trying to figure it out. Yeah, Brian. If it's 14,000 days, and it's 10,000 days, it's not one a day. Okay, well, whatever. It's not one a day. It's, it's point. four six it would be yeah it's not that's not the way okay cool he did cool then hey you know what

brett you know brett you know oh cool so so 40 times 365 is 14000 in change right oh cool oh cool oh cool hey we believe you now yeah so he had next he had 4 000 days he didn't fuck oh yeah or a little more than 4000 i don't think so i think that's right oh you still care because look look no i don't watch watch watch yeah no let me see can i see it what My finger. Yeah, nice. Nice. There you go.

Suck as dead. It's so weird how you could kill me that way so easily. Shut the fuck. Not. Don't you bully. Get out my sweat. I hate this sweatshirt. Yeah.

I fucking hate this sweatshirt. You Chris Gaines? There you go. I'm wearing. That's it, man. Fuck this shit. Dude. No, dude, Brian.

I'm fucking intimidated you with my body. Oh, man. Chris, suck his dick. Okay. Chris, get them. These are underhooks. Underhooks, bro. Are those underhooks?

Ah, nope, nope. All right. On my neck. Don't hurt my neck because I got to perform. Don't hurt my neck because I have to perform. Ah, my. Nice, dude. Ah!

Oh. My bunny. That's my bunny tail. You got a duck tail. You got a duck tail. You're 50. Yeah, there you go. There you go.

Oh, my dick. He's attacking my fat dick. He's sucking it? He's not... He's attacking my fat dick. Yeah, dude, thank God, man. Otherwise, you might have fucking lost. One more person tells me I should bodybuild.

I'm gonna... Bro, why'd you attack my fat dick? My back's all red. Yeah, what's up, man? Hey, why do you have spots over your back? I'm not even doing anything. Hey, B, why do you have spots over your back, though? It's honestly not that bad.

No, you don't... You only got, like, two or three of... Let me see. You Tom Hanks from Philadelphia? Yeah, but I don't have it. Those were biopsies for a while ago. It's getting me scars forever. Well, at least, you know...

Oh, I can see the future now. Oh, man. You see? Oh, wow. I swear to God. Oh, my God. And Brian's just a skeleton thing. I swear to God, I let you.

get me in that head, like, I swear to God, I did. If I had bowled my neck, you wouldn't have done it. I swear to God. I'm not kidding. Hey, I can see the future. I'm not even trying to be careful. I can see the future. Hey, you're here? No. Hey, your teeth?

Yeah, yeah, they go back. Everything goes back. Hey, dude. It goes back. Dude, don't be serious about if I did this, you wouldn't have done this. If I had bowled my neck, you're not bringing my head down. I don't give a fuck. Even if that is true, don't say it.

Yeah, but I could. And I went down because of my back, I had to be careful. Why did you attack me? I've never really attacked you, bro. You know, I'm not, again, you'll know when I attack you. Why did you do that? Because you'll be busy. Chris, you see I'll just mind my business here?

Yeah, dude. And you had that stupid fucking hoodie? I hurt my, just hurt my back. God damn. Why, what happened? What did you do? What did you do? I have a bad back.

I just try to make the listeners feel sorry for you? No. I'm not like I'm a bully. I'm all delicate. You were fucking with me, bro. I heard it. Well, why did you try getting double underholds on you that? Boxing, playing tennis, fucking doing my shit.

Power fucking. Yeah, I fuck hard. I fuck for keys. Did you, did you feel, oh shit, I pulled it? Or was it like an overtime thing? No, I fucking went. Doing what? I don't know, dude. You don't know what he mean?

Did it happen or not? Yeah, well, okay, I heard it, and then I decided to deadlift and I fucking heard it again. Deadlift. And then I decided to fuck you. Then I decided to box when I wasn't. ready again and I heard it again. Then why would you I re-injured it? And now I probably just

re-jured it. Why would you do that when I'm sitting here enjoying my... I got a surge of energy and I don't give a fuck, dude. Because injuries don't stop me from claiming what's mine. What's yours? And you plucked my fucking bunny tail. And gave you a wedgy. Go tell your wife that.

You kind of... You scored your heart bullied me just now. Go tell your wife that. If she's still with you after that. Huh? What? Hey, but why... She doesn't watch. Why was your only move to attack? my fat spotted dick because that was

what's available so I take whatever opening I see bro you have an opening between your legs which is interesting are you saying I have a vagina don't insult me don't feminize me it makes me so mad and if I get under hooks on you

it's good night no I've got a defense mechanism move that I do it I piss I fucking piss all over dude and it goes far too well you're like a skunk I piss, and it goes, like, you know how if you piss, it would be here? I pee and it goes all over.

You squirter. You squirter. From your vagine. All right. You know what? Is there any more, Chin? There's a few more. It's up to you.

Really? I think we're done, dude. You know what I mean? Let's see one more. All right. Okay. All right, so a high school football coach out of the kindness of his own heart brought in some school kids that were, that had behavior problems. I don't want to see the future.

I don't want to see this done. wife ended up having sex with one of the players multiple times. The player was like 16, she's 27, so she's going to jail and the husband's actually very supportive of her. She initially faced 30 years in prison for being awesome.

I know, I guarantee she agreed to three years. Yeah, I guarantee he told her to do it. Oh, what? I promise. He was by the closet watching and he was turned on, I swear to God. Hey, you wish I promise, I promise. You wish, because you've asked me to do that.

You asked me to do it. So did Chris. Dark secrets are out. You guys want to be in the closet. Look at the way Chris is sitting. Close your legs from. I don't see a problem with it, bro. Dude, it's just the way it's going to be, man.

That goddamn Fitbit watch is driving me nuts. I like to keep track of my calories, baby. Yeah, what is it with that terrible watch? Don't call me baby. It's not a watch. You look like data from Star Trek. It's not a watch. What is it?

It's a way of life. Oh, my. All right. You know what? And if you're a baby, you understand, man. Let me see the next one. Bring it up. She's hot.

The next one. Really? Check this out. Aw. California to become the first date to ban sales of non-rescue animals and pet shops. So no more puppy mills. Oh, cool. Oh, cool.

But also, give me my fucking puppy. That dog is cute as shit. Yeah, it was. He's out of shit. This one, doesn't look like? Chuck Liddle a little bit. I want to kiss that dog right on his face. Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys.

That dog looks like a brain. It's ugly. See ya. He looks like a toad with eyes. So cute. The other one's cute. Oh, it's squeezing. The other one's cute.

Why is it looking he's in a jail cell, though? I know. You did time. That dog did time. It looks like you did something bad. Yeah. Doesn't you look like Chuck Lell? A little bit?

I don't know why. Don't talk about my friend, you guys. Oh, Brian, dude. Fuck, sake. That's a cute dog. Come on, look at that fucking thing. You got those bitch dogs. Fuck yeah, I do.

Hold on. Hold on. Fuck yeah. Out of all the dogs, you went, ah. Let me just get these fucking things. I like the cute ones, dude. Why do you get those little dogs? You know why I think you did it?

Oh, it's going to attract more girls. Dude, I hate when people say that. That's so true. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm like Jeremy Piving. Oh, look at me with this little puppy. Oh, look. Oh, look at the two little circles.

I need help. I need help. All right. Well, don't be. The fuck out of here. Okay. Whoa. Hey, bro.

No, you did it because you're like, I want more. I'm an addict. What's going to take the next level? Hey, hey, you know what you have to watch out for when you got little dogs like that? Hawks. Birds of prey. Yeah, I know, dude. Come at me, birds.

And coyotes and even cats. Come at me, birds. Don't say. Cats elite. Coyotes. You say coyote. No, no. Yeah, that's a fair point, Chris.

Coyotes. No, coyote, bro. Because I'm from the south. I'm from the west, I mean. With my peck, I'll move it. Hey, do you only do bench? What? Have you ever done anything for your core?

Dude, I do all the stuff with the core, man. And, dude, my shit is fucking tight. Oh, I set you up at the gym. are you going to now, though? That gym's pricing was ridiculous. So crazy. Hot chicks though, yeah? How much was it?

Yeah. How much was it? But what Jim are you going to now? No, I do all my shit. I have all my shit at home. What's that gym cost? Hold on, a lot of, like 2,500 a month. Oh, come on.

That's kind of legit. You should see it, though. It's an awesome gym. No, it's ridiculous. Do I get sucked off? No, no, that's what it should. Yeah, maybe. You could.

Really? Yeah, it's not. I had a trainer. I had a trainer. You have a trainer come to the house? Yeah. And now he does anymore? No, not for the while.

Kim Kardashian? Was he a real good-looking guy? Who was the trainer? How did you choose your trainer? What was he? Was he beautiful? Would you ever do a female trainer? Sure.

So would I. Not in a pervy way, Brian. Sorry. Sorry. So you had this male trainer come to your house and you just worked out like in your basement? Fuck yeah. That's why I need a dungeon. You're not serious about it.

You're not serious about it. Dude, look at my. You're not serious. Dude, look at my fucking reason. results. Well, I got before and after pictures that'll make your head spin. Really? Because you look exactly the same.

I don't. I don't. What did you think of my body when I took my shirt off just now? I honestly, I don't want to talk about it. It's jealous. Jealous. What are you going to do for the? What are you going to do?

I know. No, it's cool because you have like the big dipper. I like to see Orion. Why, are they distracting? Now I can't take my shirt off when I go to the beach. Because people are going to be like, ew, he's got bops. Dude, this podcast is over, guys. All right, man.

It's over and we say it's over. I got a piss. Hey, I got it. My flight's 3.30. Well, Brian, tell him where you can. What? Where? He's going to fucking Philadelphia, Chris.

Comedy Club, this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Come see me, you bastards. Go see Brian at helium, right? Yeah, that's right. Philadelphia. Yep. T-fatk.com for tickets. Chris, what the fuck did your podcast.

Yeah, congratulations. It's, dude, don't be one of the last people to get involved in this cult, man. Beware there when it's the beginning. Because limited spots, really. Well, I mean, like, we're going to all fucking journey out to a field? No. A few select members are, so let's do it. Well, Brian's FaceTime.

We're trying to wrap the podcast up. My Tartar is trying to face it. Okay, well, all right, now listen up, guys. Chris, you are not the guest of the year, but you did a good job tonight. I am the guest of the year. Well, thank you. It's up to the fans. You know what? We're actually going to put a poll on the

site and let people vote. So if the babies want to vote, they can vote. All right. I'm not even going to retweet it. How's that? That's how good I'm going to be. They're going to fucking, all of your fans are going to think that. I'll retweet it, though, just to show love. Shave your neck. I don't want to shave your appearance.

Be more serious about your appearance. That's fair. But I have a carefree, like, loosey-goosey attitude. I don't like it. So draws Blynn. I think the show's over. All right. This has been a great show. Go see Brian. Thanks, guys. I'll be wherever. It doesn't matter. It's all sold out.

All right. Well, this is The Fine Kid with Delia. We're out.