The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 394 Theo Von

Episode Date: January 4, 2026

The Von guests hosts with Brendan and the guys start off by roasting each other, and talk favorite pizza's, Pizza Hut vs Domino's vs Little Ceasar's, previous jobs as a janitor and busboy, revenge on ex's, embalming ideas, discovering Asian people Vietnamese parrots, coffee shop girls, fake news and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken. Chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them.

Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Onet Studios in Plyar, Vista, California, it is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. It doesn't matter. Sounds better when you say, live.

But we're not live. We don't do it. Shut up, man. And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. Shut up. It's not live. Yeah, we're rolling, man.

What's up, bro? You look tired. I do. Like, Tired. What are you talking about? Tide, bro. Bro, you look like a fucking...

You look like the bees jumped on your face today. The tides have turned, bro. I just brought some fucking freshener, dude. No, you need some bronzer or something, bro. Ronsor, what are you talking about? You need that... You need that Mr. Lupial bronzer, bro.

Dude, you look like a fucking gay. You look like a... You look like a homo... You look like homosexual... Easy. Homosexual construction. That's a... what you do.

Dude, I'm not mad at that. You look like a fucking lumberjack who climbs up trees just to fuck, bro. Dude, you look like a child molester only sells Dodge Neons or something. And Dodge Neon is a good car. My mother is stone. I'm not mad at him either. I actually like a Dodge Neon.

You can fill in the gap there with a PT Cruiser. Dude, you look like... Civic. Uh, I. What are you wearing, bro? Bro, it's tie dress, bro. Dude, you look like 21 Jump Street. You look like you got fucked up on 21.

Avenue. That's what you look like guy. Dude. You look like Lenny from of mice and Mossimo. You look like a fucking, you look like a guy that will not retire from Hot Topic. That's what you look like. I look like the 50-year-old. He just worked at Hot Topics.

Dude, you look like the 50-year-old vegan, bro. Get your life together, man. Dude, you came back from Nashville and you changed, man. I did? Yeah, you changed, bro. It might just be the reflection off this hot strap right here, dude. old strap. The one and the only and I want to thank everybody that came out in Nashville because, dude, a lot of people came out. A lot of fans, a lot of people, just friends

came out of the show. Some dude came out of the closet at the show, bro. Damn, was just like, I'm gay. Yeah. And you're like, oh, bro, sit down. I'm gay. Bro, I never. Just erupt with gayness. Dude, I've had somebody like spit out a drink, you know, I've had a lady get a couple of, like, baby pains, you know, and stuff like that. People, like, laugh so hard, they get racist. Oh, yeah. One guy was like, fuck the Chinese. He was like, hey, man.

He goes, I didn't mean that, man. I didn't mean that at all. It's just unlaws from my soul. So some dude was just like, I like, I like, cool, man. He was chilling with his buddies. He was cool. He had his wife with him. And then by like 10 minutes into the show, he starts sweating,

and orders another beer. Mouth starts. Mouth dry, dry, dry, dry mouth. See, I was thinking of wet. Because that's what happens first. No. See, I feel like his mouth is salivating. Dry first, butt.

butt gets wet. Oh, that makes sense. I mean, I know how it works. Yeah, moisture starts in the back and works its way up through your body to your mouth. And then, um, and then next thing you know, the guy was like, who, who, who, yeah. Explosion. Dude, and his buddies are like, have another beer, Daniel.

Chill, Daniel. Oh, you're not. You've done this before. Yeah. Go sit in your truck. You'll be fine. Go walk it off. Go walk it off.

Walk it off, man. Go listen to some fucking Hank Williams, walk it off. But it was fun, man And that show was fun You've been busy, dude Now that you've changed, dude I haven't changed Actually, this is the first shirt

I ever wore on the kid The LSU? Yep I didn't know you knew shit about football Really? You're a football fan? Oh yeah man

LSU I'm LSU guy dude They got I didn't see that shirt Before the season Oh well I was to be shitty I wore the shirt

I only have A 9 shirts B I wore this one the first time I was ever on fighting the kid when you guys had the first studio. It's like a year... No. Yeah, years ago.

Probably three or four years ago. How long as the old show been in his accent? Five years? Six years? Wow. You're LSU fan now, especially them boys are hot. Yeah, I mean, I think it's...

How about that coach? Oh, yeah. And I'm like, Nick Nolte. At Azaron? Yeah, his voice is... It's frustrating to watch. Oh, he'll play a video of him talking. LSU head football coach.

You're pale. That guy will fuck a tan into you. That guy is so tan. He is. You think it's tan or you think it's just kind of bad blood work? Like, I feel like he's filled with fucking black blood. He could be a little bit urban, dude. Yeah, he might be. Or, you know what? Maybe Indian. He might be full Apache, I think. Oh, homoerotic construction. He has two shoes to fill when he was named LSU interim head coach after Les Miles. Yeah, yeah. Like, it hurts to talk.

So happy to have you here. It was taking... Listen, if we've been about the greatest player, we don't want everyone our game, but I feel like we had the greatest player of Lennifer. Oh, yeah, dude. See, and he's chill here.

In the season, he's always yelling. We can't close his eyes either, dude. Yeah, that boy gets that 22 and 29 record as the head coach. That ain't fun. Where your throat gets real dry if you can't blink. That's the thing, too, you notice that? Your mouth's always open. Oh, yeah.

How would you sell me on coming to LSU? But I think he would just get these wins already. And a lot of the, some of the SEC is pretty weak. Some of the SEC is pretty weak. But, oh, yeah. Ed Ogeron reminds me of, you know, he's kind of, you could tell he probably has, you know, he's got a couple of mixed children. And you don't even know what mix, you know? No, he looks like one of them dads that lets his kids wrestle with alligators and shit.

Really, you think? Yeah. He definitely is fucked on the side of the interstate before. 100%. You know what I'm saying? While eating fucking jumbalaya. Like a hot jumbalai in the middle of the stuff. Oh, no, dude.

He looks like a farder to me. Dude, like a foreigner? Farter. Oh, no. dude i think he holds that face uh-uh he holds his farts in bro that man has fucking respect for himself no hey who has a small forehead me or him look at his forehead bro his that's not a forehead he has a whole that is like an awning that is like a whole fucking it's just one strip that is siding bro that's just the shit yeah it's like in front of some old buick it's just one big strip what happened

your ankles you have your band-aids on your ankles i was running yesterday i ran too far and my shoes fucked up the my I have these blisters I ran too far I ran too far I couldn't stop get a map bro no bro I couldn't stop dude you got to know when it kind of real it seemed like you seem like a guy that doesn't really know how to like kind of reel their own life and like I've never ran too far yeah yeah do you run oh I ran two miles yesterday dude two yeah and some little why why do you get ready two I mean why why go through the hassle of working out you know how far it's like I went to the gym and I walked over the water cooler and then got my car. You know what I'm saying?

Like, why get all your shit together in life to go two miles? Dude, it's a hearty two out there, bro. Uphill also, a lot of uphill. You still eating just carrots and shit or what are you doing? Uh-uh, I'm back, man. I had a little bit ice... I had ice cream last night, man. What was the celebration? Because you're killing it on the road.

Just I had to celebrate a little bit? Yeah, just made it through the weekend, dude. I had me a couple of fresh peaches. A buddy of mine mailed me three peaches. That's weird, dude. Why's your boy's mail you fruit? He's a peach man Oh, he's like an actual peach dude Oh yeah

He's got all kind of trees I like your boy, I like peaches He has cherries too, bro? You said fuck my boy And I try to get in on my fruits stand, dude Bro Bro, go on, dude Keep your life together

Dude, keep your life together, dude I don't have any friends sending me peaches and shit Yeah, well you got a lot of issues man I have issues Yeah, you ever seen yourself Yeah, you might be right 100% bro Dude you know, you're shlo

slowly turn into fucking... I mean, your hair, like at first there's a mullet. Now you just have full-blown. A chick here. Oh, this is Swayzy, dude. Yeah, it's Swayzy. Bro, so many people stop and ask about the hair and whatever's with the hair. I could be pushing, like, a senior citizen in a wheelchair, and they're like, oh, who's this bitch, you know?

Yeah. And I'm like, what are you even asking for? Like, oh, I saw the hair and then just respected this old person, you know? Like, the hair is turning a lot of people want to joy. You think joy? Because, like, I think of, like, lesbian stepmom. It's like a little bit, like a little bit of a southern lesbian stepmom. Dude, I think it's dope, bro.

I don't know what you hate on that. I think it's dope. Like, I feel like if they're doing a sitcom on ABC and you walked in an address, they'd be like, this is your new stepmom. And she's gay. And people are like, oh, that's cool. Dude, you look right now. Grow just a mustache. You could get a job doing construction in West Hollywood for the rest of your life right now.

I can look like Elmer Fuddrucker, bro. Look at you, dude. You look like a dude. You look like a dude that eats burgers and just carries around a fucking shotgun. You look cool. Have you seen? Some of you guys are probably listening on radio. You can't see this man.

Radio. This isn't fucking go. Whatever. On ham radio, too. Grace Coral Woodchuck. Grace Coral Woodchuck. Dude, do you look like somebody who, like, have you seen? Bro, look at that shirt.

You, I know. Bro, look at your hair. Are you shitting me? You look like you work at Orange Julius and fuck kids out the back. I would never touch a kid. And I have worked at a smooth. place and I would never do anything wild to a kid and I've babysat overnight three

times. Dude, I would not let you babysit my kid. Well, that's fine. Actually, I would. So, I wouldn't want, I'm not going to watch your kid. Huh? You would have put your wife in a ponytail, son, because I'll be in the hose. Do you feel me? Look at these fucking chopsticks, boy. These fucking karate makers

right here, bro. Look at Chin fucking perked up when he saw these fucking stone cold killers hit the air, son. Oh, you need to get back on that old New Orleans sauce. You need to get back on that deck of D ball. No, what we used to do, dude, and they had a buddy of mine this guy, Billy Conforto,

and he was homosexual. And we were bus boys. He was a bus man. He looked like Don Flamenco from Mike Tyson's punchout. Remember that show? Oh, yeah, with that. Yeah.

The rose? Yeah. Yeah, the guy who was like a waiter during the day. Yeah, Google that shit, Chin. Fuck, man. We're out here describing this. Oh, Chin's turned an American, bro.

He used to be so on it, dude. He used to be so on it. I've never, I've never I've never said anything like it. Mike Tice his punchout. No, the guy that, Don Flamenco. If you just put Don, there you go. Yeah, Russian guy.

No, you're not Russian, bro. Wasn't he French? He's French. My buddy looked just like him. Exactly like him. My buddy was a boxer. No, but my buddy did. He preferred cock, but he was also a boxer.

Dude, he would fight, he would, bro, he could, I mean, he would fight you and then fuck you after if you wanted to. It's up to you guys. Yeah. But he was the toughest, dude, I don't know, and he was a bus. boy at this place because they wouldn't let him be a waiter because the guy who worked there or something had some issues he didn't want gay waiters and i was like he had that list though uh it's distracting dude no he was a fighter he was probably he was probably the toughest dude i

know which was crazy because you know this was a time you know when they didn't have as many tough gay men you know now you got all kind of tough gay men you know you got um you better watch the pease and w-wee yeah w-wee i'm sure you got some NFL dudes oh you got the and he Appalus Colts. Oh, yeah. You know? Some Browns. Oh, yeah.

You got some guys, bro. But this was when, and Billy Comforto, and he died, he ate a bunch of pills and drove into an embankment. Was that on purpose or he's, like, trying to party? I don't know. But I will say this, man, whenever we were kids, he, we used to do steroids on the side of the interstate. We'd pull off the side of the interstate and just shoot each other up.

Good place to do it, because there's nowhere else in the world to do it. Well, dude, but nobody's thinking, oh, those two guys along the side of the interstate, they just think, oh, the car's broken now. No, that's exactly what I think. Really? I think those two are injecting D-ball in their ass and sucking each other off. Oh, dude, you're gross, bro. You don't think about that?

Bro, you should think, I would think about a million other things before I would think about that. If I see you with that hair cutting some dude who looks like a French fucking assassin, I would assume you guys are injecting fucking windstrel and sucking each other's gravy. What are you talking about, dude? You look like you work at a gay construction. You look like you sell two by four skins. You fucking... You're fine, but keep down the story. So you're a boy would just

inject each other and then be like... Dude, you look like somebody, like, everybody else is like, I'm getting a sex change. You're like, nah, I'm just going to fucking power. I'm just going to... I'm going to earn it. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to force it.

Yeah, I'm going to get it medically done, bro. I'm going to force this to happen. Bro, you're dixie going to hide in your body and you're going to be sitting down to pee for the rest of your life soon if you don't start taking care of yourself. I do, man. So we'd pull off and we'd spend time like that. We would do drug.

we would do uppers, you know, muscular uppers, and then we would hit the, um, we would hit the, uh, you know, the gym and everything. And then we all, he also sold weed. So I used to drive him across to New Orleans and he'd pick up like eight pounds of weed, dude. Sounds like an awesome dude. And he had his demons though, huh? Yeah, yeah, he had his demons, man. He, I think he was like abused or something when he was growing up. And he used to fight dogs, too. He would fight pit bulls and Rottwellers. Wow. What was his issue with them? He was just, I think, this was a time when, you know, people like were still like you know

probably treated gay people strangely or something and so he didn't want. Not the rock never from a Rottweiler though but he's like I'm gonna do whatever I can to be tough and dude he people would and he would knock him out bro he was the toughest dude he was a badass he was badass bro and he's a bus boy so we're out there slinging butters and fucking huff and whipped

cream in the freezer damn getting loose getting loose what do you mean working hard bro you ever been a bus boy that's what you fucking I was a janitor bro you were I was a janitor for a hot second really at a hot topic no I was at a grocery store as a janitor. Dude, you seem like the toughest bitch at a Claire's

boutique, dude. Have you fucking seen this guy? Wow, bro. Bro, you just told this story of you and this gay fucking bus boy. What are you talking about? You inject each other on the side of the highway and fuck each other.

And we're just supposed to breathe past that? Like it's normal? Just because you're in the south on the side of a New Orleans highway sucking each other off. It's like an ogre that it took you look like an eight-year-old boy got an infection from an ogre and that's where he's at right now dude your haircut is from nineteen eighty nine eighty nine bro you have a motherfucking mullet son yeah dude i had the future of hair and this thing is anything you look like

macho man randy savage if he had AIDS oh what are you talking about dude fuck bro macho man randy tragic you look like the war if he just sucked dick oh go on like i was this workout. No, he sure didn't. Dude, watch your tone. He talked about the warrior. You just talk about it. I'm saying you look like him if he were in the sucking dick. Man, you're baiting switch, dude. You look like Lenny from a mice and mossy mo. Dude, you need to get your fucking

life together. Jesus Christ, dude. You have fucking Band-Aid. Hold on. You have women still touch me, dude. And it's the third time it's happening here. Dude, five times, dude, I'm calling the police, dude. I will hold you out and shave your head. Dude, look, I grew up in the molester belt. Five times you touch me and I'm calling the cops, bro.

Five out of five? We'll give you a couple of mulligan. We'll give you a couple hand mulligans. Bro. Five. I'm just saying you have women's band-aids on the back of your feet. Dude, these are major band-aids for blisters. I'll get ready for the Emmys, bro.

The ammys, dude. But let's talk about you sucking dick. Bro, I've never sucked dick. There was one time a guy. We were doing some cocaine in the restroom. Thank God I had to go to the airport. And that's all that happened, man. And that was in...

You never, like, have you ever been, like, in a threesome with your buddy, and your buddy's, like, whoops? Yeah, never been in that. So you automatically immediately are way closer to being gay than I am. No, bro. And if I am gay, I'm happy, dude. If I'm gay one day, I'll fuck somebody, dude. I'll fuck your stepdad. You have a stepdad?

I don't. Well, then I'll fucking, I'll call your real dad then and see how he's doing. I wouldn't be mad because with that haircut, I'm like, I get it. But if you had... He looks kind of like a chick. Let's be honest. If your father was a gay male, would he do? date me, you think, and he broke up from your mom?

If you shave that goatee, yeah. If you clean shave, if you clean shave and wore like a tank top, and like dinner, and if you ran more than two miles, he'd fuck you. There you go. He'd fuck you. Yeah. You catch you in that. Dude, that's how to get back at somebody.

Take care of yourself and then date their daughter years down the road. You know what I'm saying? The way to get back in him is like getting crazy shape and get all like sexy and thick. And then fuck dudes. What are you? That would drive. That girl was like, what? And thick, bro.

You sound like a mixed girl on Instagram. What are you talking about? Dude, bro, you're too skinny. Dude, a lot of people like to learn my dad and you better gain some weight, bro. You're too light in the ass. A lot of people like lean males, don't they? Chin. What are they like in your culture?

Chin likes lean black males. You really? Yeah. No, but that's what people are saying now. Really? Yeah. By people saying you mean you? Dude, look.

I don't have a problem with it. Yeah. Come out the closet. You want a TV show? Come out the closet. Man, fuck a brother. You got to do something. You got to change the game up.

We'll call it Chinnish. Yeah. Chinish, bro. You just kill it and fuck skinny black dude. Yeah, Chinatelphia. Yeah. And it's just you and it's a, yeah, you're dating a new, kind of zveld-looking urban guy, you know? Silence of the Chins.

Yeah. What's out, dude? What, bro? He's a serial killer. Dude, I'll tell you this. So I got real high one time and they were playing. I'd never played this game charades. Have you played it?

I've never played it. So it's, have you ever played it? Yeah, but have you done electronically? Are we doing it on the thing you hold it to your head? No, ma'am. Oh, hold on. Okay, I haven't, dude. Oh, it's $2.18.

No, I haven't got out the fucking bored with my family on Thanksgiving played charades. Go ahead, bro. Well, I'd never played it, dude. And it's a game where someone acts something out and you guess what's going on. And so I was so high and I sit down and I start to end and I see what people are guessing. And the guy who was doing the things was in a wheelchair, you know, and he was a handicapped. That's a tough game. And it's not that tough, I don't think.

You know, I think if you got the fucking, you know, some people now are even on gurneys who aren't, who they used to be in wheelchairs. See, I don't want them on my team, though. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I don't either. The other day, I'm at the Pizza Hut and his family pushed somebody in, or hamburger hamlet, and a family pushed somebody in on a fucking gurney.

That could have been in a wheelchair. God damn. That's lazy, bro. Yeah. Oh, I know that. Pizza Hut? Huh? Hamburger Hamlet.

No, why did you go to Pizza Hut? I love Pizza Hut, dude. Over Domino's? Huh? The crust? bro when I die dude embalming fuck yourself put cheese in me bro dude do you want to be you want to be stuffed on cheese crust bro imagine you're laying there in the coffin dude first of all I want raccoon hands because a lot of people put their arms about their side no I'm

me too bro like this yeah no we're talking then the crazy bread up your asshole no no god dude bro calm down man this I'm not Brian you don't have to just game me out of the fucking room every day all Ryan is is you guys just trying to like argue that you're not gay until one of you guys just ends up inside the other one and it's really a hate crime even a real gay dude just like just fuck each other guys and just you know what i'm saying the show is the most flirting i've ever seen it's five years of flirting it's unbelievable dude it's absolutely ridiculous bro five years so what had happened then was were we talking about well what bothers me is you're a pizza hug guy oh yeah

pizza's great. Over Domino's. You're fucking crazy. Pizza was the only place to go when I was a kid. Yeah, me too. But then I grew up and realized there's other ones, you know? Like you ever had Papa Murphy's? Mm-mm.

Where, that's, no, that sounds like a guy that's actually on trial for the Catholic Church right now. I know, right? Papa Murphy's that bullshit, because you've heard of Papa John's, right? Papa Murphy's. Yeah, Papa Murphy's. I don't know if they have in L.A. Ben Denver, it's a fucking chain. You buy frozen pizza.

You get your pizza and you can't get at home. dude i want a real pizza place i want an angry ginger manager i want a couple of i want a black guy who doesn't give a fuck cooking my pizza i want pizza hut okay no no no that's what i want dude i want real bro yeah once i say me a you got a king or sting it pizza dominoes we'll bring two pizzas king at or sting it yeah bro what pizza out or dominoes yeah dude dominoes is basically do dominoes dominoes is like somebody took a can full of pizza flavoring and just sprayed it in a box and brought it to your house. And what's fucking pizza?

Pizza Hut is real pizza. It has pizza in the title. Pizza? What's Domino's a fucking board game? Yeah. They're fucking selling you pizza. That's like, hey. How obvious is that? What should we call it? Well, we we're in a hut. We make pizza. Yeah. It's fucking stupid. At least you have pizza in the title. I don't need that to know they make a delicious product. What do you mean? Domino's. Obviously not, dude. It's delicious.

Oh my God, bro. Most people are domino's and pizza. How many skateboards did that haircut come with. Have you seen this fucking haircut? Unbelievable. Skateboards. Yeah. Both of my seven and five-year-old nephews have better haircuts. Let me ask you, with that lesbian haircut, do you get a discount on Subaru Outbacks? How's that work? Are they Justin Forrest Green or how's that work? Dude, this haircut's phenomenal, I think. No, I'm not mad at it, bro. You got...

This guy's at worst, bro. Oh, you're going to die soon. You have AIDS and be like, I don't have age. You're like, age isn't a big deal, dude. You shouldn't really be worried about it. You know? I wasn't worried about it. Don't touch. me again. You got three times already, dude. Dude, I thought I'd get five, bro. No, you're fucked, bro. Dude, come on, man. Be cool, bro.

Be cool, man. I will be cool. Let me finish my story, please. Yeah, please do. What was it again, Chen, do you remember? Pizza Hut, your, uh... fucking balming. Oh, no. No, no, you want your hands like a raccoon. And I wanted crazy bread. When you die, I just can't believe

that those are the options. Burning. First of all, cooking somebody. That's... Get out of here, bro. How's that even an office? that's terrifying I mean it's definitely they're fucking you on that one how about this they burn you and they go we're gonna put your ashes over the San Francisco bridge yeah fuck that and a lot of dudes are down there on party barges catching them in their mouths smoking my skin and shit

bum bum bum bum bum bum yeah you'll be careful underneath that going gay bridge and getting that shawb shower down there's dirty ashes yeah damn yeah ashes these hate ashes bear in your face. I didn't crad them, bro. But that crad them back end. Yep. So here's what happened to me was, uh,

so the pizza hut, oh, I've told this story the first time we almost met an Asian guy. They, uh, that almost met an Asian was in, um, we heard there was a rumor that was an Asian.

In town? Like just moved in? Near. Nearby, 17 miles away. Okay. So me and two of my buddies cut grass, you know,

did yard, work and everything. No, we didn't do tiki torches, dude. This is back when, if you were racist, you just didn't tell anybody,

you just were at the house, you know well so this is uh but we were excited you know we save money me and two on buddies to cut grass to go see this they rumored asian okay because we'd never seen one sure it's exciting oh the only thing we'd ever seen was american ninja warrior and even that doesn't do it justice and it's not and it's fucked up if you think about it's just van damn beating up asian people that he never really has talked to true and they're smaller on camera you don't realize how big they are they really yeah look at chin yeah but chin is uh he's a godzilla of korean's dude oh definitely dude he'd play in godzilla he'd play one of the buildings yes you know or he'd play like the

like the human giant that fucks up godzilla um so what it happened was we got there we took a taxi me and two of my buddies to go see this you know rumored asian and we get there and it was a pizza out had burned down right and you know pizza had those unique roofs yeah like a hut yeah yeah because they don't know a pizza hut yeah a place that sells pizza not dominoes oh yeah i'll order something from there that's not in the title. Oh, where'd you get this Chinese food? Hasbro? Yeah. Yeah, Hasbro. Oh, is this Milton Bradley?

Oh, I'm sorry, everything has to have the fucking name. At least it makes sense of what it is. Pizza hot. Well, little Caesars, I assume I'm like in a fucking Greek statue delivered to my house. Oh, dude, I'm assuming there's going to be a young Greek boy coming over to fuck, player. You know what I'm saying?

Nope. Little Caesar, baby. No, bro. I don't love it. So, no wonder. Crazy bread's different. So if that delivery boy gets me-toed a couple times, that's on them, dude. That'll hold up in court, too.

Dude, if I'm named him Little Caesar. Oh, if I'm half an eight ball deep and I order of Little Caesars, bro. And he comes with that crazy bread, too? Oh, there better be a small boy with a mouthful of olives ready to fricking touch my assholes. You know what I'm saying? But anyway, so this pizza had burnt down. And there was, but that unique roof they had was sitting flush on the ground. And people thought Asian people lived in it.

that makes sense it doesn't make sense now but at the time I was like I can see how you guys could assume that yeah go to the go bring up a pizza hut chin yeah just so people can get an idea of the visual

because they very they have distinct roofs original pizza hut roof this new thing now it's just a sign it's a picture of the roof there it's the red roof bro that's a hut yeah that thing was beautiful

yeah I like them and dude you go in there and they had those glasses that were like thick and red they had cool Okay, games in there all the time. It smelled like a fucking pizza parlor. Hardy plastic.

They had Ice Brothers that game in there. I remember that. Can you click on one of them, Chin, so I can see you. Just one of the real ones? That's not a, that's not one. Damn, there we go. That's a new one. What was that ice is green one?

That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that's that shit right there. God. Damn, that place is beautiful, dude. Pizza, that makes me happy. See? Well, because it reminds of my childhood.

That fucking hut was sick. You don't see those anymore, man. No. And how about Dominals went, fuck. all y'all we only do small little places because we deliver yeah no not strip malls they just deliver bro oh dominoes is two years away from just being a skill crane that you put two dollars into and pull a pie with one of those little metal dude how dare you they make such a delicious pie dominoes dude you extra sauce on donalds here's a key you are you order pizza and you put extra sauce because they have to fresh bake it

have to fresh make it really yeah because if if you order the regular one it's like oh that one's cheese just put all these toppings on it you order extra sauce they have to remake that shit fresh that's some fat now how fresh is anything at dominoes dude dude 30 minutes yeah that doesn't be getting fresh it means fast fast and fresh no you can't

you're used to pizza hut bro yeah I'm used to a quality product dude we pull up at pizza dude one of us would be bleeding because we fought all the way there in the fucking car my dad would get out my dad was 77 years old everybody my mom would sit yell fuck you

that's how we went into every restaurant just like that we roll in there my dad had the money dude where he said he had the money then we got there and he'd slowkey borrow the money from me and my brother to fucking pay for the food dude yeah so then my mom would be in there

sometimes she'd be so pissed she'd sit at a different table because she didn't want to act like she was with us and then we'd get a couple quarters from my dad that he would borrow from us first in the bathroom hit the arcades then we go back to the table hit the arcades we'd come back and both my parents would be sitting as far away from each other as they could drink it dude and then yeah this got dark yeah then a

this manager a ginger i mean as ginger as you could get sure i mean just skin oh you could see their organs all of his organs yeah if you pulled his shirt up you could see at all you see all the veins oh it was biology one under his shirt was bio you know bio one or what is that class you guys take biology chim what is it uh biology yeah biology yeah so right under his shirt it was bio one you know and they'd have it and then he'd bring over some training Every time it was a young black girl, she was a trainee. Oh. And she had like a, this was back in the day when a lot of, you know, a lot of, uh, black

ladies would suck on pacifiers at work. That was weird. I remember those things. Yeah. And so this lady would come in and they would be like, you know, this is, you know, and they had this girl in our town name, Asma Wilson. And they'd be like, this is asthma. And she's like, I'm about fuck y'all, you know.

You're like, all right, well. Okay. We can have some pepperoni. Fuck your pepperoni. Yeah. Fuck y'all, man. Fuck this dude. Like, okay.

Like literally, the order pan would be like three fuck this dudes. Fuck this dude. Two fuck whiteys. You know. And water. You bitch just want some water. But then anyway, he would say she's a trainee and blah, blah, blah. And then they would, she messed up the order and then they'd go get the order right.

And then we'd all sit there and have that pie, man. And that's back when it came in a hot pan, that hot pan. And they set it on the table. And it was like a cork kind of thing. They set it on. And that pan was about three inches stick of fucking. steal, bro. They don't do that anymore. That's what I'm saying. It's changed. I'm with. See, original pizza I fucks with. Okay. When it comes to delivery, it's dominoes all day.

But we can agree on something. We might disagree on that. Little Caesars can suck this dick. Well, little Cesar's... Five dollar pizza. Get the fuck out of my face. Yeah. And here's what else. And it's a disabled. Well, look at their advertisement. It's a disabled boy in a diaper. Can you bring it up? It's a kid who's missing a bit of chromosomes and then... Yeah, look at that. Look at that, bro. Look at the nose on them. That ain't cool, making fun of those people.

Yeah, it's not illegal, but it's definitely something that they're trying to, you know, not have those inoculations for babies so it doesn't happen anymore. Dude, here's the problem, too. They cut their slices in squares. Really? Squares. They don't do fucking triangles like Americans. Yeah.

Squares, bro. I don't fucks with it. Yeah. Oh, wow. That, huh? Yep. Think about it. Dude, I used to work at BJ's pizza, dude.

And they said it stood for blackjacks, but at low-key stood for blowjobs pizza. Oh, wow. And it was, dude, it was crazy. And at night, we would take, the trash would get too fulled up because everything in there was straight garbage. And so the dumpster out back, we got like a mini dumpster. This was at a time in our town where they tried to save money by giving people, oh, they're thinking we can have less pollution. If we give people many dumpsters, they won't make as much garbage, right? Yeah, that makes sense.

the worst idea ever so then there was just as much garbage but half it was laying all around these mini dumpsters so our thing was we had to get out there at night at the end of the shift and burn everything in the dumpster god damn so we have to get out there dude put gasoline in that they pain you enough oh bro they're paying you enough 495 an hour dude slavery dude that's as much as an expensive cookie bro it's how much i was fucking making to pour real gasoline in the dumpers double-douzing cookie that's fine all No. You'll work for anything, dude, and it's obvious by your get-up

and some of the shit you're always peddling on your Instagram story. But what I'm saying is what I'm saying is that we'd have to get in this dumpster and just hotbox that thing and just burn all the trash down to the ground. Dude, we'd be at work until 3 a.m. putting out of fire in the back. Making $17 after taxes.

It's fucked up. Dude, my mom sometimes would make me walk home and I'd be like, when you come picking me off? She'd like, fuck, no. How far is it? It was honestly, not joking at that time was probably seven miles and you run two now yeah and so at that time i'd run seven you know i'd leave my apron and everything i'd work and just run that fucking seven but i run it in pants you know i'd run in church pants no hell yeah you got to so i'd be running church pants and gasoline burns on my arms on my

shoes huh those andy defrained work shoes all black no what were those ones at doc martin's dude all the low top all the low tops and dude you want to talk about cutting and the back of my heels will be all cut up i mean through the bone i remember one of my feet i left it on the side of a road and just ran on one foot to get home but I never put a Band-Aid on. And I never put a woman's Band-Aid on either. The cool thing my Brennan's Band-Aids, well, the cool thing my Brennan's Band-Aids,

that's even a real statement is that they're the fancy kind that blend it with your skin. Well, that's the only color you can get. Band-Aids are racist. There's no black Band-Aids. There's only white people's Band-Aids, bro. You can get a mixed, you can't get a mixed bunch.

They do colored Band-Aids. Really? But, like, you can't get an Asian Band-Band-Aid. You can't get a black band-aid. It's only white person band-aids. Dude, because we're the only people that use band-aids. They put, like, you know, whatever it is. We're talking about, we're talking about.

They use over the, under the counter, or whatever it is, over-the-moon medications. Oh, they use duct tape. No, herbivores or whatever. What do you, Asian people are? What? Not herbivores. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah.

Aromatherapy. Yoga. They use eucalyptus. Yes. Pine. Hey, Theo. Fern. Have you ever met?

Are you turned cat? I have met cat before. When? I didn't think you guys met. We saw each other one time, didn't we? Yeah, he popped in and said hi to everybody. There we go. So this isn't the first time he gets met.

Nice to see you. Now, racist or not? Is this racist? Tell me this. She refers to herself as a jungle Asian. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I think it's cool.

Me too. That's dope. You know? But I'm not a racist. I'm a recovering racist, I think. but I are you really a jungle Asian? Yeah.

Do you know what jungle Asian is? I would say it's probably I would guess Filipino or Laotian or something like that Are you going to get deep Vietnamese? Yep. Wow, beautiful Vietnamese. You never know Vietnamese sometimes. I thought a one time I met a

I thought I met a Vietnamese guy but it was just a Mexican guy that had been in a fire. That's fair though. It's a tough. And that was a tough call. Yeah, it's tough with the skin. We come in a spectrum.

But jungle Asian comes from the term what, though? Because when she said, I was like, damn, that's racist. I feel racist right now. Well, Vietnam is pretty much a jungle. Because you guys come from the jungle. Yeah. So if me and Theo refer to certain Asians as jungle... Don't include me on whatever you're about to do.

Well, you just want a whole rant how you thought I'm Mexican was a burnt Asian. So I think you're good. I also spent $60 as a child to go see a rumored Asian in a burnt down pizza hut. Real quick, I've all seen all Jackie Chan movies. So fuck you. All right, bro? dude. What's up,

nice wrist snap at the end. You have a whole food's bag. Yeah, and some carrot juice. Cair juice and peanuts, wow, dude, you used to fight.

You used to fight what, dude? You're trying to fight a cold now and struggling it looks like. Oh, man, I got some wow,

bro. Bro, you couldn't go two rounds with who's a real shitty fighter right now? CM Punk. Yeah. Dude,

you think you could beat CM Punk right now? Get out. Get out. I'm serious, though. No, the better question

would be, do you think you could beat see him? Oh, dude, I could, if I'm allowed to use, if they put two more ropes on, how many ropes are on the ring? Well, it's an octon, so there's no ring. Okay. Well, what if they put extra ropes on the other armagedon?

Okay, so let's say you're fighting them in a W.W.E. Yeah. If they go big cage and they throw some ladders in there, I could do something. I feel that. Because I used to paint and I was on ladders all the time. So you know your way around the ladder. Well, I know my way up and down, fast side to side. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I'd be around. I'm sort of that jungle construction worker. Whoa. There's nothing wrong with that. Well, are your parents from Vietnam? Yeah. Wow, what part? Saigon and Got, yeah.

And have you been there a lot or no? When I was younger, yeah. I used to go more often. That's cool. It's a cool place, huh? It's sad as fuck to be. You think so? Well, tourists tend to go to the really nice places, like the fancy places.

But that's not real, is it? Yeah, but that's not real. It's really sad to be there. I'd like to go with her. So I want, like, the real shit. I'm not trying to sleep on, like, the ground and shit. But I would down. I'm down to go.

I went on as a student one time and they took us to and a lot of the taxi drivers and stuff in the beginning it's just tourist stuff you know they take you to like a brothel or someplace where there's women

you can meet girls but this place was a pet shop and had a pet shop in the front and low key in the back they was doing you know sexual offers bro

but and my buddies they were real perverts you know and I'm in there looking at these fucking parakeets and all kind of parrotlets They have some cool hedgehogs birds mostly dude

it's the fucking jungle bro hedgehogs the fuck out of here do you look it's montana um they had real beautiful animals in there and everybody else is trying to come in the back and i'm trying to catch one of these fucking beautiful parrotlets out dude you don't think you you now just be that honest do you think you bought a cheap parrot and they got your dicks up in the back i do remember what happened they had some we went in the back and and i got super nervous and then i left and i didn't i didn't and then uh what did your buddy say go down did they fuck a two can or something i don't know

how strange it got but the funny thing to me was the parrots knew a lot of English and they would mimic a lot of sexual things they'd heard, you know, like, oh, get that booty, you know, and it was so crazy. Use a condom. Use a candle. About the bus. I know, yeah. White guy cheap.

White guy cheap. White guy cheap. I think that's what they said after the white guy's left. White guy cheap. But I thought it was beautiful. It was so busy. I was amazed how many people could move around on motorcycles. Wasn't you just in China?

Yeah, I was just in China, it's a different country Very different place No, I'm just saying though, it's Asia, bro That you've been there recently You haven't been to her part of the fucking world So this is what it sounds like When I try to weasel my way out of a racist moment Yes, I have been there

But I loved it though I thought it was cool But yeah, I guess there's some parts where it's like We went on like the Mekong We went on like boats and like But they just took us to like touristy stuff Like to hold snakes and like You want the real thing man

That's not a good place to go anymore though A lot of people Yeah, they get robbed there now. Whenever they see a lot of white people or people who just aren't Asian, they tend to flock there and rob people. Really? And so the people that are robbing people, is it just like poor Vietnamese people that are doing it?

Is it angry people? Like, is it, or is there any type? I think it's mostly poor. Is it kids? It's, yeah, kids, adults, they have a lot of different scams there. They have nice knives or something or guns or? I don't know. Well, I saw, I saw two motorcycles.

motorcycles collide, and another motorcycle came up, robbed the guy of his bag, and drove off. So two guys... Ah. Yeah, so two motorcycles would come. One would crash into somebody with a bag with valuable...

Oh, like it's a setup. Yeah, it's a setup. And then somebody else, his friend would come grab the bag, he would drive off, and then the guy who hit the victim would drive off too. So stuff like that would happen. It sounds like Grant Theft Auto.

It sounds like... Or they'll just like yank him right off your neck. Yeah. But that's like anywhere. Here there's all, you know, every place has its scams. I think it's just like a, in some countries, they're still, like, on foot, whereas here it's more like... Electronic. Yeah, electronic scams or, you know, yeah, somebody will steer your credit card number at a place and use it, you know.

Or do you ever get those DMs like, oh, what's up, Daddy? You want to see more pictures, click here. Yeah. I almost want to post me like, you stupid bitch, who is falling for this shit? Or those fake Apple ones, like the emails? Oh, yeah. It's like, call now. Come on, dude.

Call now on what? Come on what? Come on, man. Call now on what? Who the fuck's falling for this? But I guess it works all the time. How did you meet Kat? How did you end up with these guys, Kat?

I graduated college, needed a job, DMed Brendan, and asked him if you needed an intern. But how long ago? That was a while. That was a while ago. She did it right when she graduated from USC, right? Yeah. SC. And then she did it a while ago.

Yeah, it was like in June. And then I came back from the Bay Area. And then I DM'd you again. And then I ended up here. She's a little beast. Yeah. They imported me straight from Vietnam. Dang, Vietnam.

See how they say it? Vietnam. Yeah, you didn't know that, bro. I know that. Really? Yeah, I knew that. Vietnam. I forgot it, but I know it.

Yeah, I needed to learn more. I'm thinking about learning another language sometime before I die. I need to get a little more worldly, you know what I'm saying? Like, I want to go rob people with them out there. Dude, where are you, you already look like? You look like all of the, who's the Fratellis from, you look like every one of the Fratellis? Who's the Fratellis?

From Goonies. You look like, you look like you, you look like you had moved to Vietnam and sell rats. You look like a guy on the side of the river that would sell rats. Dude, you look like someone that's going to audition to be one of the bugle boys. Who's the people that Rob Scrooze or McDuck? Oh, who were those guys? The big guy with the ass out?

The Beagle Boys. The Beagle Boys. Bring that up. They were dope. Yeah, DuckTons. They weren't dope. Yeah, they were dope, man. Costume.

There they are. The beagle boys. Oh, my God. They were old. They were old. They were old. Yeah. That's my squad, bro.

The Beagle Boys, good reference, dude. I wonder where Chris DeLei is at, dude. He's probably just rich. Dude, someone said he has four sofas in his house. Oh, at least. What a piece of shit. At least. There's people that don't have sofas, like in other countries where cats from

and even maybe where I'm from, dude, Louisiana has other small countries in it. Louisiana's some of the most Vietnamese people in America, too. Pretty cool. Is that true? Yeah, because a lot of Vietnamese people tend to go to New Orleans to be, what is it, fishermen, they would basically fish shrimp. Shrimpers.

Stuff like that. Shrimp bad boys, yeah. Those shrimp sandwiches, we're called pool boys? Oh, yeah. They're nice. But yeah, Vietnamese, they love and Vietnamese people eat anything.

You can go to some of the markets, I remember, they'll kill it right in front of you. Yep. Everything and anything. You ever, you ever ate one of those eggs that the Vietnamese work with?

Uh-uh. You know, see one of them eggs? Hot eggs or something? It's like a fucking velociraptor egg and it's a dead baby bird in the middle. They drink the juice and eat the bird. Oh, balut, duck egg.

Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, right there. Oh, boy. Would you eat that deal? Me neither. I can't. And I can't eat that. Now, if you throw it on pizza hut...

Now, if Asma Wilson fucks my order up and throws a couple on into pizza, I will eat it. Depends what kind of pizza. But Americans will eat anything on pizza, but alone they won't eat it. That's the interesting thing. Yeah, that deep dish, they might be able to hide one of those in there on me. Oh, that thing's got a little bit of ovary left on the back end of it. Dude, I can't fuck it. No.

You would eat that cat right now? I want to eat the bird I only eat the yolk and sip the bra But who is peeling that baby bird Of that yoke girl? Damn Who's prying that dead bird out of the fucking warmth of the goat?

Wow man from my cold dead egg This thing is bad Wow So people don't eat the bird They toss the bird out? No people eat the bird I personally don't eat the bird And are Vietnamese people very Are Vietnamese people very sexual or not?

Yes we put a bikini on girls all the time. Really? Have you been to a Vietnamese coffee shop before? No. I have. So over in Orange County, I don't think you have. Yeah, I think you're thinking of something else, too.

No, I definitely have. Oh, really? It's, uh, they have a lot in Orange County in San Jose where it's basically like a Hooters, a Starbucks, and a strip club had a baby. Oh, no, I haven't been there. Oh, wow. And where's that at, you said?

Orange County. They have a lot of them. There's only one in Orange County? No, they have a bunch in Orange County. Oh, wow. In San Jose. Anywhere where there's a lot of L.A. No.

Oh, do you see any Vietnamese people here besides me? Yeah, no, I don't either. There's a lot of Koreans. Yeah, chin is very Korean. You go to the karaoke store for Chin stuff. And there's no, there's no fucking Thai, I'm sorry, is there no vet me's coffee shop here? No, you got on your way to Disneyland next time, you got to stop by. Damn, I definitely want to go now.

So I can get a dark roast and a dick suck? Yeah. Dude, those girls make bank, though. They do. Yeah. And our Vietnamese people are very, they love business. They're very business-minded? Yes.

We're very conservative, but also we love stuff like this. Right. But most, I don't mean interrupted to be racist there. Now, most Asian cultures aren't very sexual, right? Most Asian cultures aren't very sexual. It's usually very taboo. Yes. Wow.

They don't talk about sex, but they'll go get coffee at a place to love this. Right. Oh, that's interesting. Now, if they don't talk about sex, but does that mean that, like, within their own families and culture are things very sexual? Or do you feel like America, like America seems a lot more sexualized? As people or Americans I'm just curious

Brian saying the Asian culture Especially Japanese The walls are so thin So when you'd have sex You know It was quiet Oh yeah Like whispered yeah

Oh fucking Then you got the bird Ain't all You know what's saying Oh Condoms Usually it's not spoken about In the household

But when you walk around The culture is basically like this We're not a very Politically correct Culture at all Yeah, no-uh. And you guys, they joke about a lot more stuff. Like, Americans seem like very sensitive about things that they joke about these days.

Yeah. Whereas I find that, like, people from other cultures are, like, a lot more open. Lucy Goose. Like, I'll do that show J.K. News sometimes. Oh, I love them. And those kids joke about, they don't give off. What is it? Bro, they would tell jokes we won't even say because they don't give a fuck, because they're just normal people.

They're not, like, worried about shit like we are. Yeah. They're a really good example of what Asians actually are in terms of, like, not being politically correct. And who are these gentlemen? J.K. News. They have, it's Bart Kwan and his wife is named Gio. And then they have my boy Joe Jetsukawa right there on the left. And then they have Melanie maybe in the middle.

No. Tiffany. There's an attractive girl in the middle. And, oh, that's David Soe. And now it's a joke because they know David Soo is. David So is a funny, he is Korean on the right. He grew up, his parents used to sell black hair care products. So he grew up saying the inward bro.

He has a personality. Oh, he's hilarious. Is he a comic to him? he is a comedian but they're so funny but dude I went over there and I'm always like afraid to say stuff and they just say whatever they don't give a fuck bro you know who they are turned yeah they're pretty big and they're nice man they're really really nice people too I love it and they have like yeah side business but yeah they're very in gin what is it call when you do business engine ingenuity I don't know something anyway who seems more racist you think of your brin that's

really what we're trying to figure out here I probably say dude by a long shot. Really? But you're wearing camo, dude. This is a... Bro, you're in camo, wugie? These are... You have camo caprize on.

These aren't capriced on. With some underarm of shoes with Nike socks, camo women capris, and a woman's haircut. What are you talking about? What fucking... Bro, you have a haircut

you can only get from being a cafeteria, a female cafeteria worker who's abusing steroids blatantly on the job. Dude, if you look like... Bro, you look like you make sloppy Joes. Dude, me?

Like, you look like you make the best sloppy Joe in L.A. right now. You look like you raised two kids named Sloppy Joe, dude. If you fucking lost both of your arms. You looked like you adopted two girls named Diane. Look at your ear, bro. Dude, what are you talking about? Dude, I'm growing this for a kid, dude, who has cancer, but also has a four-wheeler. That kid's going to be cool as fuck, bro.

Locks for lust, bro. That's what I'm growing this shit out for. A nine-year-old with no, who's definitely low in the chromosome. but who's down to fuck and not afraid to go into five-wheel drive, bro. I'll cut my hair for that, dude. Dude, I'm just saying you look like a blatant lesbian cafeteria worker. You have women's blend in with the fucking leg. Dude, I didn't create these safety pads.

I didn't create these fucking band-aids. Band-aid, bro, and they're racist, right? I didn't do that. I just want to cover up my blisters, bro. Your blisters. And you come here with your lesbian mom haircut. Women. And your judgment and your racist ways.

Pizza on, baby. Insulting the whole fucking. the kid team because they look different than you. Dominoes. What is it? It's a board game

for children. You're in there eating. What a fucking creep. There's kids in there playing games and you're in there looking for fucking

black olive and mushroom. What a pervert. It's not even literally somebody put pizza flavoring in a can and sprayed it inside of a box. You don't know shit.

But they're good people there. But anyway, what I was saying was earlier is that oh, there was a story I was telling

in the beginning of this that I've never gotten to finish. About Asians. No. You were, oh, you're going to buy a penguin, but you're going jacked off by a young Asian in the back. Where were we? Where were we?

They weren't. They only had parrots. They only had exotic birds. They didn't have penguins? They didn't have, like, cold country birds. These were more hot country birds. That's disappointing. You know, we could buy a penguin.

I've looked it up. You can buy them online. You know what the problem is? They slap. They do? Yeah, they slap. They don't buy it. They slap.

You think you could beat a penguin in a fight? Oh, that's where we're at. Could you beat CM Pump? really though because punk's been training and also both you guys get penalized for pulling the hair out of your face no I'd shave my head if I had to

okay there we go would you really for sure and what else would you do would you have to come out with a new name you can't be Brennan Schaub again you gotta come out with a new fighting name because everybody's gonna be like

oh I beat this guy so you have to come out with a new fighting name what would it be you have to have a nickname too I would never fight dude really never do you think you still have it in your spine to do it like is it because at some point it had to be like

Like a, I mean, you have to be in an attack mode, right? I mean, yeah. Yeah. Fight. Fuck. But right now, CM Punk, could you, do you think you could go to a draw with him? He has long legs, dude. How long are his legs?

Can you look that up, Chin? This is insulting. See, and Punk has been training, bro. He's from where? Chicago? It's a dangerous city. I'm headed to Chicago. Are you really?

Yeah. Thursday. No, I don't mean it as a fence. I just mean it is. Look how long his legs are. 70 inches 73 inch reach bro It does say his strength is jiu-jitsu

On the skill breakdown It does and he's 39 From Chicago He's young bro It's going some current events Oh and there's the answer All right my bad I don't know if I didn't know

If it's inappropriate to ask or not But I'd watch the fight Would you watch it on pay-per-view chin I got to ask that carefully Probably not Right? No. Of course

Chin would watch it, bro. He just said no, dude. Out of respect. Why, you just wouldn't, oh, you wouldn't want to see it. You said him against Brennan? Yeah. I said out of respect.

See, I'm fucking against Brennan. But Brendan also has a cheat code where Brian pops up on his shoulder and can jump off of them and do kicks. Okay. I wish. Brian's in New York doing God knows what right now. Oh.

Who knows, bro? Who knows, dude? Probably looking for penguins. Probably looking for some Me Too claims. What else do we have going on? There's a lot of men out there straight up, Me Too Hunters, bro. Who are they? Me Too Hunters?

Dude's like trying to get the fucking, right? Oh, you know, some guys feel left out about it. Just trying to get that publicity. We're Chin and Brian fighting, too. I keep hearing about it. Brian says he's always ready to go. Chin's been training. We got shirts made for him.

We all sorts of, I'm the pro-I'm the Don King of this thing. You are? And it's like trying to make Connor Khabib happen, bro. It's exhausting. Who do you think could win in the fight, though? I do want to know this. My boy, Dustin Poirier, against Nate Diaz. Great fight.

It'd be a great fight, huh? Great fight. Ah, do you think it's actually going to happen? Yeah, oh, for sure. It is. Wow. Joe invited me to go with him, but I got to perform in Buffalo that night. You had the Healy in there?

Great club. So just know that Buffalo. What's that? Have you been there before? No. Great club. I never been. I'm going to Charlotte in two weeks, though, with the strap.

Comedy Zone? Yeah. Been there? Yeah? How was it? Great. Yeah? Great spot.

It's big. Yeah. Comedy Zone's big. Great spot, though. Yeah, we got some, it's selling pretty good tickets. And, uh... Buffalo, one of my favorites is I've done comedy. Really?

I love Buffalo. Did I used to be friends with J.P. Lostman? Oh, yeah, quarterback. Dude, I went up there to visit him one time and went to see a game because he went to Tulane. Wait, you're there, you're in Buffalo? You said next week? No. I'm in Buffalo in, like, November.

So it might be snowy as fuck. Oh, yeah. No, that's the worst. I'll bring you guys back some snow to cat from Vietnam. Dude, they don't have snow over there. Introducer's snow, bro. They have homemade, so. Have you ever seen snow, cat?

Yes, I've been to the snow before. I was born here. You're born where? Yeah, dude, wow. I don't say, but I've been to rea-mato. Another, the trail of tears, Brendan, talking to anybody from another country. Dude. It is unbelievable.

I don't know. Like, a lot of people in Southern Cali never seen snow before. Yeah, dude. Lockdown, okay? My girl's never seen snow, bro. Dude, I'll give you three guesses. What does this mean? La-dong.

La-ton. Get in the back. No, dude, no. What? You think I'm a kidnapper, bro? Yeah, bro. I don't know what it means, dude. But we used to play this game.

Me and my buddies, we had a Japanese guy that we met in college, and we would make sounds and see if it was something. Most racist thing of the day. No way. Give him the word for the most racist thing in the day. Hmm, yato! And he'd be like,

dude, that means fucking cloud cover. That means heavy cloud. cover. That's so racist. Do you watch Japanese weather? And you're like, nah, bro.

That's so racist. Before you and current answer, I got to piss hard. Let's take your break. All right. Kizzy Laurent, the toughest fucking man I've ever met was this woman,

Kizzy Laurent. My God. You ready to? She could jump over a volleyball net, dude. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

I mean, she was tough as hell. And she has a son now, actually, who's a, I think he just got, he's playing college. He might be playing at Georgia or something,

but he was a, Beast. A beast. He was like the top running back in Louisiana last year. Last name for a net? No, Brumfield is his name. No, he's telling, he just got out of high school. Word. Get some convention? Cats got some. Oh shit. What do you got

cat? So, Rick Flair just got married this past week and a clip of him walking out. To who? Brooke Hogan? Who did it? It's the girl who used to play his maid back in the day when he used to do WWF.

Wow. He had a gimmick where he had like a girl that dressed up in a French maid outfit. He's marrying her. Because he's so rich, he had a maid, right? Yeah. And he's walking out to the Miko song, Rick Fledrip. So this was circulating social media. Which he was in the video, too.

Wow. Yeah, he was in the video. It sounds like. Hit it, Jen. This is Chris DeLeia. Fast forward 40 years. This is Chris DeLeia. This is awkward. Is that Brooke Hogan?

No, that's his daughter. Because Rick Fleer is not young. That's Charlotte. Herman's smile, doesn't he? Oh, yeah. It looks like a hairdryer just fucking will not leave him alone. He looks like he's on vacation all the time, doesn't he? Oh, he's on medication at this point.

But yeah, that's it. It's just him walking out to that time. It looks like weekend at Bernie's or some shit. That's pretty swag, dude. He's swaggy for sure. Oh, definitely. What else you got? Now, that guy can keep it up near the interstate.

That's a real man, dude. There should be a test on if you can keep an erection how close to the interstate you can keep it. Dude, he... That's man shit right there. Especially in L.A., a lot of people, I bet they wouldn't fuck 40 yards from a highway. Where I'm from, dude, you keep an erection right up next.

You can feel the fucking traffic go by. Oh, wow. A real man will get his dick hit by a fucking rearview mirror. Wow. And still fuck after, bro. If you can keep an erection near a car going 70, 80 miles an hour, that's a man. And you think Rick Flair can do that? No, not anymore.

I think in his heyday, maybe. Yeah, you're right. I think Arn Anderson could. He was low-key quiet, but it seemed like he had all dick on him. Anyway. I feel like Anderson Cooper can. Really? Yeah, you see him in that storm?

Oh, Horstman. You see him in that... Anderson Cooper? Yeah, you see him in that storm, bro? The storm is the fake storm? It's just like, dude, it's, it's totally, it's 11 gay interns spraying really intense spray bottles on him from the side. And you think he's just in L.A. filming? Oh, 100%.

What's that guy's name again? Wes Anderson, what's his name? Anderson Cooper. Yeah, dude, that guy. Who the fuck's Wes Anderson? Anderson Cooper's whatever. I'm not an Anderson Cooper fan, but his best work ever was when he was

a host on a show called The Mole a long time ago. Is that real? On ABC, yeah, and that was his best work ever. I just don't trust the news. I don't trust any of them, so. Then you have to dislike him, though. Why? He's fucking working for them.

Yeah, but he doesn't create the news and the fucking hurricanes and shit. But imagine. He's just his job. That's like so, you know, No, I don't know. What if Chin told us, hey, why don't you tell a bunch of young men out in the world a bunch of complete bullshit to make them feel uncertain about their lives?

I'd be like, I'm not doing that, dude. I'd rather do something else, bro. You'd rather train turtles, dude? So you're saying there's no hurricane? You think he's making that up? I'm not, now weather, that's an easy one for him, dude. But outside of that, man, it's just a bunch of fucking rhetoric, man, a bunch of fucking Mulans out there,

a bunch of MOOCs, dude. Guys, Joey Diaz would never talk to, fucking Don Lemons or whatever that fucking Don Lemon. Mixed puppet. Get that fuck tart out of here, dude. That guy's never had an original idea in his head in his entire life. Well, let's check the racist box.

That one, the mixed puppet. You can take that one. I'll take that one. I don't know what race that guy is. I'm Polish Nicaraguan, dude. So if he wants to go races with me, let's go, bro. Racist train, bro. Dude, my father was born in Nicaragua, bro.

I lived there. He was 17. So let's fucking go, Don Lemons. Dude. Lemons, bro. Dude, you hate Don Lemon. I just think I don't like those guys that are just, I don't like any of. of them that are fucking, you know, whatever that guy's

name is, Lucky Carlson or whatever the other guy's name is. Lucky Carlton. Let me ask you this. Where do you get your news from, bro? Where do you get your news from? I'll look at both, man. I'll look at any of them. CNN, Fox. You don't look at them. I used to look at them. And I was probably more Fox. But then it just got to the point where it's just... They're both kind of, it's just like a pure hate fest on the other one. So I don't watch either of me. Right. That's the thing. Now it's not news anymore. Now it's, it's like tabloids. I get my news from right here. Charlotte

Flare with this fucking Rick Flair showing up to that drip. drip. Dude, I'm happy to know he's alive. The crazy thing is, he looks dead if you look at him. Yeah, he looks like he's embaled with raccoon hands. Oh, dude. Well, that's what I'm saying. When you die, get those fucking, they get the hands up. Dude, I want a wig, though. Huh? I want a wig, bro. You already got a wig, bro.

Okay, dude. You can't talk about somebody's hair. Bro, you have the pre-adolescent haircut. You have a fucking 70s haircut, bro. You're the only person I know with this haircut. That's a lie. I got the power in the front and I got the glory in the back, dude. I'm just a sharecropper, brother. God's growing this. Dude, you got the lesbian in the back and the dick in the front.

Who's growing your hair, dude? You got a dickhead haircut, bro. Who is growing your hair, bro? God? Oh my God's growing my hair, bro. No way, son. Dude, if your fucking haircut was a choice on great clips, no one would take it ever. No one besides lesbians.

Oh, dude, beautiful lesbians. I'll take the Theo cut. Lesbians, dude, right now. And the crazy thing is you are all, I might have the hair. You have all the other elements of a fucking real lesbian, dude. Do you give the hair and the face? No. You tell me your nose doesn't look lesbian.

My nose? I have a nose of a brother, dude. A straight up brother. No brothers I've ever seen. A chubby black Greek guy. No. Yeah. Chubby Greek guy.

Little Cesar, bro. You feel me? Pizza fucking pizza, bitch. Oh, wow. Okay? Little Cesar. Little Cesar. I wonder to know where that.

Where the fucking black Greek boys at? That little Cesar. Little Cesar onward, dude. What else you got, Chin? Yeah. Okay. So Revolve released a bunch of sweaters with sayings like being fat is not beautiful and it went viral. A lot of people are angry at Revolve for this. But the sweaters, well, the sweaters, if you look at the bottom, it seems like everyone who's outraged didn't look at the very bottom of the sweater. It says as said to and then a model or an influencer's name. This is a part of a campaign with five celebrities where they take the worst comment. ever gotten put it on sweaters and then says like as said to car delivery or whatever that's going down a dangerous road yeah and a lot of people um are angry about it because they didn't see

the bottom and realize that it was supposed to be a campaign against bullying and yeah because i mean the giant letters it says being fat is not beautiful it's an excuse which i agree with but did you see uh well to some people it's there it's okay for them why can't it just be that some people like some people don't you know i think that's what it is probably but but i think i think it stems from too is like glorifying obese people being like everything's beautiful it's like well yeah but that's super unhealthy like you're you're gonna die early and there's obesity problem in america so yeah cool if you want to be fat that's cool but i don't know if we should glorify it so so you're in support of the sweater or not i wouldn't buy the sweater do you even know i wouldn't buy the sweater you wouldn't

No. Really, you wouldn't buy the sweater? You seem like a guy that would buy anything, bro. You seem like the dude that buys everything, bro. Every day I see you have a different pair of fucking shoes on, look like British shoes or something. Like, is this guy's feet living Britain and his body lives here in America? Maybe.

All kind of fucking yellow. But do you know where this comes from? You know, wheelchair, air forces or whatever, all this shit you have, dude. Yeah, Benedict Arnold X-9s or whatever, all this shit. I want some Benedict Arnold. These orange candy corn fucking, you know, keyless entry, fucking low tops. Like, what the fuck is going on, bro?

Bro, you have a fucking Joanna Sacagawea fucking wristband on right now. Someone made this for me. Did you get a Native American. A Native American made that for you. You'll wear anything. Anything anyone gives you, you'll wear. I remember. Yeah, anybody that somebody gives me, yeah, I will.

Dude, I'm that hand-me-down bad boy. You know what I'm saying? You'll find me in your fucking dead step-grandfather's fucking favorite jacket. You know what I'm saying? Put me in that bitch, dude. I'll be in you, I'll be in your stepwife's fucking, uh, brazier, bro. First team all goodwill, son. Yeah, first team all good will, dude.

Down set, hand me downs. Um, dude, here's, he's, here's what I was telling you. So there was a fire when I learned to play charades. So there was a fire and these kids were playing the guys in a wheelchair playing. I didn't know how the game was. And so I started guessing, I thought it's guess movies that this guy could be in. So I guessed, because I said silence of the limbs. Because I remember you said something earlier because this guy, some of his limbs wasn't, you know, fully functional.

So I remember guessing silence of the limbs. I remember guessing, oh, Forrest Gimp, that's one thing I felt horrible about. Yeah, that's terrible. But I didn't know how the game was. Yeah, you're raised. I thought they put the guy in the middle and guess what movies this guy could be in. because people are just yelling out, you know? Dance is a wolf.

People were yelling out, like, dance, you know, like, I don't remember what else I yelled out. Oh, Bridges just spina Biff, but I remember guessing. And that's the one that fucking hurt my own feelings afterwards. But I didn't know. You thought of his movies he could be like titles. They're like, oh, you know, what could Lawrence be in, you know, and Lawrence is in a wheelchair, you know?

And I was like, oh, these are. That's a funny game. Yeah, think of movies. If you played it your way, yeah. Yeah. Like of my semossimo. It's kind of. kind of hurtful, but

it's not dude, I can't wait to see the meme of you in of mice and mossy. I can't wait to see you in the sequel of two fong choo. You remember that fucking movie? You never seen that movie?

In the condom. I'm about to bust. I didn't know what else you got it? So, so yeah, I think pizza it's the winner when it comes to pizza and I don't give a fuck about that sweatshirt.

No, I'm not going to wear that sweatshirt either. What else you got? So, a school in China welcomed back all of their students, as well as their parents, to the first day of school, with pole dancers. Nice. What? An American writer was taking his child to school on the first day, saw this, recorded it, put it on Twitter, and it went viral. After this happened, he went home, told his wife, and his wife called the headmaster to see why there were a bunch of pole dancers at the school, and the headmistress ended up hanging up on her.

saying it's good exercise. What the fuck. And it is. And also in China, there's not a lot of room to exercise. Very confined. Yeah. So to use a poll to get it done as opposed to doing something else more long form. But I think it makes sense.

With the kindergartners, though, you don't think that's a stretch deal? Well, here in America, we don't teach them about it, and then half of them end up doing it for money. You know, these kids aren't interested. They understand what's going on. They're not thinking, you know, people are going to give this lady money and try to fuck her in the parking lot later you know they're thinking that oh here's a woman doing a piece of performance here's a woman burning some calories right yeah i wonder what do you guys think about that this is one of the most chinese things i've ever seen yeah really yeah i saw a guy feed a booger to a

cat when i was in shanghai that makes me feel sick and that was awesome i thought it makes to feel sick yeah well to them it's just nothing goes unwasted it's either this going to this cat or this going in a soup you know in china if your buddy dies next to you on the street you fucking chop them up Oh, you chop them up and then you and the rest of your buddy's eating you cruise. And that's what I respect about the Chinese. It's like they keep moving. It's like, let's keep moving on. We're not going to sit here.

It's impressive. Yeah. And I'm afflicted by all the feeling bullshit. You know, I'm out here on these certraline tablets, you know? Yeah, bro. And that's generic fucking Zoloft, motherfucker. You feel good on it. No, I don't feel good on it.

But I have to take it so I don't fucking lose my mind in the afternoon and crying my car off the interstate. So that's where I am. I'm American. What else you got? I feel you, bro. You stay on them. No, you don't feel me, dude. You have on women's ankle assistance pads, dude.

You basically have one. I didn't create these pads on the packs of your feet. I didn't create these fucking band-aids. America did. I want them to be black. Yeah, sure you do, dude. King or sting these band-aids, bro. If you had to king them or sting them, that's rat, king's shit all day, bro.

And look at the title belt right here. Something Chris DeLea will never have, dude. And he can have all kind of stuff. He has, someone said in his house, he has an ice cream maker. And someone said that... He has a slurpy machine. Oh, Christa Lee has an ice cream maker in his house and doesn't even eat dairy. That's just there.

Well, that's overabundance, and that's rich people doing rich shit. Someone said he has four couches, dude. And there's a man out there and a woman out there trying to make love on a floor somewhere while that motherfucker's sitting there with four couches. Fuck him, dude. And he ain't a champ, bro. And he never will be. Oh, shit.

And you know it. Come see him, Delia. Huh? He ain't gonna come see me, dude. He's too busy doing, you know, doing whatever he does, dude. Being rich. Oh, being rich. Dude, someone said he got a jacket made out of money.

He made a bunch of, just made a jacket made out of money. You know, that's crazy. He wanders around his house, hiding money probably around, and then blindfolding himself and go and looking for his own money. Dude, I saw Chris microwave a wad of cash before. Yeah. Microwave it. He's changed, man.

When I met him, he was a different guy. He was gentle, nice, cared about his animals. Someone said his animals, he has like a group of pet company that comes and takes him and he just brings him around for his Instagram. How crazy is that? He loves them dogs. Oh, dude, and him and Bobby Lee, this is a true story. We used to go down to Mexico.

Chris and Bobby Lee used to go down to Mexico to get involved with, who knows what, but they used to go watch Mexican comedians perform and steal their material and bring it back up to America. How crazy is that? The fighting words. Huh? And they would steal it. The Mexican comedians, we'd talk in Spanish. They'd translate and steal it back to America.

Oh, who knows what happened, dude? Who knows what happened after that? I'm just telling you what I've heard. And this is just rumors. That's around the water cooler. That's around the water cooler. But I'll say this is a lot of people drinking around the water cooler. Yeah, the water cooler's deep.

And Nancy Scott is Ali Wong, if you guys are going to the comedy store. Hey, don't outer fucking code. Everybody fucking knows, dude. No, don't say that. Sorry, it's not. It's something, it's Ouma Thurman or whatever a fake name is. What else you got, Jen? I don't know.

So there's a school in Georgia that sent out a bunch of permission slips for the ability to basically paddle kids when they're in trouble. So parents can opt out of it. And if parents opt out, then the kids who get in trouble can face a five-day suspension instead. Don't touch my kid. Really? Fuck, no. But here's a crazy thing.

When you was a child, you know, whenever that was 50 years ago. But when you were a child... You look at you've been homeschooled since you're 30. Yeah, dude. I taught myself for two years at the house, because the bus in our town was broken. Was it only a racist Bible, or what was it? No, dude. Our Bible had pictures people in it, and a lot of the pictures were black.

Oh, wow. A lot of people were black in the Bible. That's cool. And also, we made them black, too. You would call them in? Yep, because we didn't want them to be. It's like, oh, there's way too many white people in heaven. Did you draw horns on all of them?

How did you do it? No, we didn't do anything like that. You guys in New Orleans do weird shit, bro. I don't know. We were very, very racially diverse, dude. Mildly racist. Yeah. It's kind of weird because the protocol for paddling kids is that they will take them and paddle them

in private is what their words are, which to me just reminds me of like the Catholic church stuff. That's some shady shit. How and what is this elementary or middle school? It's a charter school. I believe it's elementary to middle school. Wow.

I like this. Don't touch my kids, son. But then here's the thing. Your kid is going to, okay, then that's the choice you're making. But then your child is going to be that child at school that is afraid to get powdered, afraid to fucking take it like a champ.

You know what I'm saying? You're saying this, by knowing that they're going to get hit, it enforces them to stay in line. But I'm saying yes, I think that. And also I think it makes him have respect for the other kids in the school. Like, you know what I'm saying? Larry will get, you know, paddled.

Fucking Delante will get paddled, bro. You know, both of his parents have paddled him. So you're going through it together? So y'all are going through it together. And then meanwhile, your kid, Chariot or whatever your son's name is. Yeah. Chariot won't, you know, they said they got to, if he gets crazy, they just, you know, put him in a cot. They got to talk to him.

Yeah, they, yeah, put him in a, you know, 7,000, 7,000 print cotton suit. and leave him out in the yard or something, you know, something soft or relaxing, give him a grapefruit slice. Yeah, I don't know. Buy him a nice watch and give him a grapefruit slice and give him some of that big brown coffee or whatever that shit is. Buy him buy him a watch and give him a fresca.

Yeah, yeah, dude. Now, if he has to drink a fresca really fast, that is discipline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is discipline. Dude, we should torture terrorists with fresca. Bring a fresco fast. Let me know how your day goes.

And if your eyes water, you're getting gunned down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dude, imagine that, bro. Drink a fresca without your eyes watering. Can you guys have fresca? Chin cat?

I've never had fresco. Yeah. It's Americans have to drink it sometimes when their parents think that they're old enough to drink adult drinks and they're not. And it's gross. See, I love it. I think it's very refreshing. My mom used to drink them. I love a fresca.

But I fucking challenge any of the listeners, try downing a fresco all in one. Yeah, without blinking your eyes. Yes. Try that. It's impossible. Oh, that's that straight up fresh. it's refreshing though yeah it's called fresh uh is it yeah and it's good i think i think it's better in other countries i think at the american fresca the shit's a little bit harsh in the throat yeah it's

kind of like ginnis in uh dublin delicious here that's all right yeah yeah don't touch my kid though uh well let's really though but here's the thing though were you ever paddled at school by a principal never it's actually legal in 19 states right now to hit kids in school no no no no no and i bet a lot of those states are awesome as fuck do we know what states those are? I think you can look at it out. I don't know personally. New Orleans.

But here's the thing I guess. New Orleans. Florida, a lot of South. New Orleans is an estate. Okay. A lot of South is in a state. Louisiana. Fucking two rivers.

Louisiana in general. Brendan wants to know two rivers only in the entire world, dude. That's facts. Yeah. You knew four. I knew a lot more rivers, dude. You knew four and you're racist, so I win. I'm not racist, bro.

Dude, there's more. 20 states that. still paddles kids. Wyoming, of course. Wyoming, Utah. Colorado. Yeah, Colorado. I grew up there. No one hit me.

Arizona, makes sense. They didn't hit you. They thought you were working at the cafeteria. Kansas makes sense. They're like, man. Ohio, wow. Yep. Keep going, Chin.

Ohio, do where J.T. Barrow is from. Burrow. Sorry, I fucked his name up, but LSU's new quarterback. Damn you fucked it up. Idaho. J.T. Barrett was the quarterback for Ohio State. Yeah. Keep going.

All right. Keep going. Keep going. North Carolina. New Mexico. Mexico. Sorry, enough point you guys. It's the newer Mexico.

Keep going. Florida, Tolgerass. Kentucky, Tolgeras. Missouri. SEC in the house. Texas. Georgia. South.

Yep. Tennessee. South. Louisiana. Hell yeah. I got spanked. My Lawton McKee. I'll tell you this dude,

Lawton. He said one of his teeth was in front of the other one directly in front of it, bro. You know what I'm saying? He had that fucking. he was running that two five defense in his mouth you know that front seven he's run that eye formation in the mouth he had the full back in the front oh yeah I know that and the party in the back

you know the wish and he said uh and I remember people would ask him what I'm his tooth and he said he swung that paddle so hard that his fucking teeth it fucking shook his whole face up and knocked his teeth in front of each other but that dude spanked me one time in his office and when you came back from the principal it was fucked up but it was also people were like damn bro you got some respect you got some respect it's kind of embarrassing though it was embarrassing but there was a level of respect with it because you you made it through it yeah like damn that dude can

get paddled and it made you see I don't want to get paddled no I'm going to keep my shit together it worked yeah now imagine there's no discipline in schools what's going to happen to you would you be nothing think about that nothing is going to happen

and we still expect our teachers to give a fuck when these asshole kids are running around you know so you want to start hitting kids I'm not saying start hitting them but I don't You can discipline without hitting him, Thiel. And you can also discipline without being molested, dude. We had a great discipliner. Lawton McKee, a great man.

He was a family man, and he spank kids when they needed. He also molested kids. He didn't molest anybody, dude. See, I just assume in Louisiana they're molesting kids. No, bro. You're from Colorado. Do you know much easier it is to molest a kid at high altitude who is undernourished with water? You know how easy is to molest it in Louisiana?

In that thick moisture air? Yeah, you can barely get your hand close to them. The air is so thick. By the time your hand gets close. You blame it on alligators down there. I know you guys do it, bro. No, an alligator touches kids' dick. Nobody's believing that.

An alligator would bite that thing right off. Nah, slap it with its tail, bro. And you guys got catfish that suck kids off. I know what are you're talking about? Most of our catfish these days are from Vietnam. Dude, a lot of our market has gone abroad. Another racist. That's not racist, dude.

Now all catfish are from Vietnam? Most of them are, and it's we fish now, I think. How do you say it? In the Muce? Yeah. I have no idea what you call catfish. But Vietnamese people do eat catfish a lot. Yeah.

They'll lead it right out. Bro, and Vietnamese people will swim in the water with their mouth open and come up full. And that's beautiful. Bro, they are, I mean, they are of the earth, brother. They know how to get it done. Vietnamese people die. They don't make a big deal about it. They don't even tell anybody.

They just die. It's not in the paper or nothing out there? Well, it's just like we hear, we bother everybody. We make sure there's one last email. You got to dress up and shit. Go to their funeral, black. There's a Facebook group. Yeah.

We're on Hoot Suite an hour before our drip back. die you know the morphine sets in you know sending out one last week we're going live on Instagram before we pass away yeah everybody just bothering everybody with their lives just go Vietnamese die reincarnated an hour later they're a wolf up in the fucking you know boom

on the dry part of the delta they're a fucking parrot in a sex shop it's beautiful yeah and it is beautiful yeah you know I just got here let go back these white people are fucked up What are fucking the animals? What else you got you?

So, last week was Fashion Week, and usually fashion week ends with Mark Jacobs' show. But this year, he was bumped by Rihanna's Fenty Laundrae show. God damn. And Mark Jacobs is actually notorious for always starting on time. This year, his show was at 6 o'clock, and it ran one hour and 17 minutes late. And Rihanna's show starts at 7.30. So a lot of people are speculating that he made the show even later and later and later in order to get back at Rihanna. He was so late that editor started to get up and leave in order to get to Brooklyn to Rihanna's show and Anna Wintour almost left as well.

Fuck. And over in Rihanna's show, a lot of people are praising her because she had a diverse group of models. She even had pregnant models. One of the models actually went into labor while she was doing the show, finished the show, and then went to the hospital. And then went to the hospital. Yeah. And the baby tripped on the runway on the way out of her vagina. The fuck.

I saw the pictures of the pregnant model. I don't, I didn't like it. Is it on here, Chin? To me, it was uncomfortable. I don't think it's comfortable to think that while you're trying to enjoy a fashion show, some lady's going to go into labor. I don't know if that, is that modeling or is it just, sometimes there's so much stuff to make a statement.

It's like, it's not a statement anymore. It's just a shock factor. Right. It's shock factor. But are you cool with fat models? like obese models? Yeah, I'm okay with any type of models and I'm okay with a model being pregnant

If a model's this close to having a baby It can't be safe It can't be safe, that's a thing What if that baby drops right out, you know? And then the baby ends up having a head brain damage And it's handicapped for the rest of its life But it has free Fendi because of this fucking Or free lingerie because of the fashion line

You know what I'm wearing right now? These pants are got in Shanghai at a train stop And they're too small Yep, way too small And they looked bigger on the man. I bought him off of the man, dude. Off the mannequin? Well, the ones he had were smaller, and then he had on

bigger ones, and he sold me those, and I felt bad. They were hot when I put him on my leg. So that's what else you got? The Shanghai hot pants, dude. Shishu. All right. Vante Davis quit his team. Buffalo Bills halfway through the game.

Did you see this? Yeah, everybody on the team quit. Did you see the game? I was going to say... At least he left the stadium. At least he had the dinksy, be like, you guys fucking suck. Now, so Vante Davis, his brother is... Terrell Davis? No. No, his brother is Vernon Davis.

He's an absolute fucking freak. I think he plays for the Redskins now, but he was a baller for the 49ers forever. Had like the most impressive combine numbers. Anyways, this dude at halftime said, you know what? Y'all suck. I'm out. Well, here's my thoughts. Everyone's all up in arms about.

I'm like, what do you think? It's a bitch move to do your teammates, for sure. Like, at least go through the game and then after game, be like, I can't do this anymore. What are you support it or you don't support it? I think you should be able to do what the fuck you want to do and professional sports is so cutthroat. I'm always taking the player's side here. So if he was like, I don't want to do this anymore.

The scheme sucks. I don't feel like doing this. I don't like the coaches. I don't like the team. Why go through it for a half? If you want to get out, get the fuck out. Yeah, sometimes you have those moments where it's just like, this isn't for me and you know it in that moment and you go through it anyway.

Imagine him playing the second half and not wanting to be a part of it. I've had that happen in sports and football. football in fighting where I was like I don't want to do this anymore yeah but you cannot back out right like you literally can't bet you have to do it and it's awful is it really oh one of the worst did you ever go into a fight and you had to fight and you didn't want to or yeah my last fight my I've only had it happen twice my last fight which was like five years ago and then uh when I fought royne else I was like I just don't want to do this anymore I don't want to do it wow I don't want to go out right now and fight oh that would be so tough man the worst that would be so tough yeah yeah

I can't imagine that I mean I know feelings of like I don't want to go on stage and perform but It's not like having to be so physical. You can get through it, right? Right. And also I can, let's say tonight I set the comic store, if I'm like, fuck, I don't feel like doing this. I can go up there, get through it. It might not be my best effort.

Then tomorrow night, come back and revamp myself and get up for it. Yeah. Fighting. It's like, fuck, man. Yeah. You put 12 weeks into this. Everyone's watching. There's people in the stands.

There's a whole ordeal. It's the worst. Hmm. Yeah, man, that's wild, dude. But yeah, if you got to go, man, you got to go. what else you got so some of his tweets his prior tweets started resurfacing after he retired and they're all basically they're all pretty much like you should never quit uh he says the people who succeed in life are those who don't quit in capital letters that's hilarious successful people keep moving they make mistakes along the way but they never quit uh money when you come pick uh your son up boy too bad i don't want to retire early never quit use each setback each disappointment has a cue to push ahead with the determination than ever before.

Yeah, I mean, those in 2013, 2011-12. Yeah. Yeah, and that's how he felt it this time. And then now he goes- It just doesn't want to do it. Also, all right, so the guy playing behind him chomping out the bit to get playing time, you're looking at the wrong way. And it's also, I'm so sick of, and this isn't a knock-to you pulling this up.

This is a knock-to-who-ever made this thing. It's like you can't hold all of someone's past. Like they had this new, I was talking about this on this past weekend. today, but it was like, they have this Supreme Court justice, and they're bringing up stuff that happened to him in high school. Oh, I know. Like an alleged sexual assault in high school. Not a rape, not a,

nothing that was ever charged or went to cry, nothing like that. An alleged moment between two drunk teenagers, right? At a house party. In high school. How old is he now? This is 35 years ago. That's insane. And that's why now he can't be a Supreme Court justice. And that's fucking ridiculous,

dude. That's fucking ridiculous. That's ridiculous. But it's, but it's It's the same type of stuff. It's bringing up how you felt eight years ago into this moment today. It's the same type of thing with, like, blaming people for shit that happened four or years ago, you know? Also, I mean, obviously, rape is rape. If you rapes on it should be, you know, a challenge. But if they're like, oh, he treated me like, shit 30 years ago, they're like, fuck, man.

I'm a different dude that I was two years ago. Amen. I'm a different dude that was five years ago. That's the thing. We should be accepting of that. I know. It's very strange. And, but it's not real, though.

It's fake. It's like this. But I also think it's a way of people. to bring other people down because they can point and go, oh, look here, you said this. He's like, dude, I was 22 when I said that. Yeah. I'm a grown man now. But it's the same way people want to paint you into these boxes, like, oh, well, he used

to be a football player. He's a football player. He has to play football. Right. And Dave's like, no, I don't want to do that anymore, man. I want to do this over here now. Right. And it was like, nope, we look at you like this.

He's like, yeah, but I'm doing this now. Right. So it's just, yeah, and it's like, uh, yeah, I don't know. There's just like there's moments here. It's like you can change. And if we don't allow people to change, you know, and here's the crazy thing. The same people would argue that, oh, kids need to have second chances in schools when they're young.

So it's the same people saying kids should have second chances in schools when they're young. We need to have better schooling and better opportunities for them, you know, in case things happen to them where they can get through it and deal with it. But then to bring up something that happened 35 years ago to somebody. Well, it's same with like the quarterback that drafted Allen. They're like, oh, when he was in high school, look at the racist tweets he sent out. Yeah. And it was like him bullshitting with his friend.

It's like, dude, he was 16. Yeah. So you're going to drop this man in the draft because, I mean, 16. Think if you had social media or 16, you didn't really mean half the shit, you said. Is he really racist? Probably not. Yeah. Should it be brought to his attention?

Like, dude, look what the fuck you said. You're like, oh, my God. I'm sure you watch your comedy special. How many years ago is that? Yeah, three or four years ago. And you're like, oh, my God. What the? fuck.

Some stuff, yeah. Not that it's not, I'm not saying it's bad. But you as a person, when you look back on old shit you do, you're like, oh, fuck. I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I came up with that bit. You know what I'm saying? Like, you look at stuff, you're like, dude, I would do it

completely different if I was doing it today. Yeah. I mean, that comedy suppose of the, no offense comedy shows it was pretty bad. I'll say that. No, no, no. No, I'll say that. You personally will look at it.

Oh, yeah, you look at it now. You think you can do better. You do think some stuff, oh, wow, some stuff is racist now, or it seems that way. but it's also like we've just created this environment where we can't talk where somebody can't make a mistake but then at the same time we're telling people oh you can make all the mistakes you want you know what i'm saying like it's okay to make mistakes you're going to be fine but we're not saying in that same argument no 30 years now we're gonna fucking hold it against you yeah you're just sick of all of those types of people and it's usually it's the news that does this shit it's not us as people you know and i find that there's two types of people in the world there's people that blame others and there's people that just keep moving forward and put responsibility on their own. Once you find you start blaming people, other people for the problems in your life. Oh, dude.

You end up on one side of the tracks. It's like when a comic or whoever gets upset because another comic got a special on Netflix or Showtime or HBO. I'm like, you think that has anything to do with you? Right. What do you think there's only three spots for specials and you think because they got one, you're not getting one? Yeah.

You think it's because your material sucks. Do you think because something you're doing is not connecting with them? Yeah. Or do you think it has nothing do if Theo gets it, if Chris Daly, of Rogan, that has nothing do with you. Right.

I see it all the time. People get jealous or upset or shit on these other guys who are successful. I'm like, I don't get it, man. Yeah. That's why you're not them. Right.

Right. Yeah, you just got to stay focus on your own stuff. And it's hard not to, especially these days when everybody else's stuff is so presented in front of us all the time too. Social media. Yeah, it used to be. It's like I wasn't worried about

so I never thought about their stuff because I wouldn't see it constantly, you know? That's the problem with social media. But also, if you think social media is real, that's three seconds out of the person. People only post their success. Yeah. They're not posting like, fuck, man, I had a showcase for Showtime HBO on Netflix. Yeah.

I got this jockish being wild, bro. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I got this Vietnamese. I got these anal warts. No, I can't get rid of them. No one's posting that on Snapchat. The Mae Dubs, boy. What's up, Doug?

Got these herpes. What do you got, Jen? Got these herpes. Uh, this, this is going around everywhere, the Weather Channel guy. Oh, yeah, I saw this. So he was kind of like, bless you. Bless you. Sorry.

This is what I'm talking about. This is the news, bro. Here's your boy Don Lehman's out here, bro. It's Don Lemons, bro. Or Lon Demon, that's what I call him. The lawn demon? Don Lehman is a freaking Muppet, bro, or Don Lemons. Whatever that guy is it is.

This dude's a bit, I mean... He probably painted himself white completely. put himself in this video like it's like a Mulan. Dude, is this any different news guy look at those two

bros in the bat. They just walk in calmly. Look how we, look the best part is when he's on the grass trying to move his feet around like it's hard to move. That's hilarious.

He's not even like, he's not even a good act. I mean, but of course they're doing that. I assume these boys are doing that. You know what I'm saying? I don't turn on the news

and take it for word. Who does? No, that's the thing. Hopefully no one. Yeah. And then like if you have kids, I have a son,

you educate him on it. Like, that shit ain't, that's not wrong, but this is all hoop a lot. This isn't real. Oh, dude, I wouldn't even, yeah. I mean, it's almost better to raise your kid in a cage probably at the house. Yeah, then to let him get out there. Just on my Instagram. Yeah, and just let somebody else teach him that you don't even know really that well.

That's crazy, bro. What else you got, Jen? Just, here's the weather channel defending him, saying it's important to note that the two individuals in the background are walking on concrete, and Mike Seidel is trying to maintain his footing on wet grass after reporting on air until one a m yeah that's what's wrong with the news like how great would it be if it came out they're like yeah listen he's just trying to get viral he's just exaggerating we fucked up it's hilarious though he's just trying to cover and be entertaining for you guys doing that like trying to make it like oh he's on grass so slippery like everyone's like god damn it man this is your problem

yeah that's why nobody believes you anymore i don't believe any of this junk man what else you got jen uh that's pretty much it washington post oh that's who you get your news from supposed to be reliable. Washington Post? No, man. The Denver Post, son. None of these muck, dude. I get my rumor.

I get my news from... Louisiana lizard, son. Instinct, rumor. It's legitimate hearsay. And shit that I see and know with my heart, bro. You know what I'm saying? I'm 119th Cherokee, bro. You know what I'm saying?

I got a dream catcher in the fucking back of my neck, son. Yes, son. You get your news from the lot lizards. Oh, dude. No, I get my news from... Instinct, dude. You got to trust your end. instinct,

brother. There's a lot of people out there that don't have any instinct, man. They're just Muppets. Yep. And we'll beat them.

We will beat them if we trust our instincts. Muppet babies. Remember that? You tried to be able not to be pedophiles. And you give us that classic tune

and I'm not supposed to jack off to it. Dude, and I parked in the only spot available outside for leasing, for showing leasing. So I could easily be towed.

Easily. But you're kind of leasing. Whatever, dude. I can always sell this strap for $70. Yeah. Yeah, Ferrari.

That's that new Muppet Baby. Get a free bait. Get a shit out my fucking face, bro. Oh, Muppet Baby, that's a new stuff. Yeah, that chick in the back. That ain't real. Do they have a show in Vietnam that's like Muppet Babies? Or do you know, Kat?

I feel like they probably do. I don't know of any specifically just because I'm American. Right. Yeah, sorry. I shouldn't have asked that question. It's like the snow question. I think we should end on that racist comment by Theo. Let's wait about 30 seconds and you'll make one.

so well we're ending on that you went oh cat do you guys have a muppet baby show called like muppet lizards in vietnam like dude easy bro dude i would love when i die and i will say this publicly when i die i'm i'm ready to come back as an asian person so i just want to let you guys know that and i want to come back

as a russian do you really yeah big old grisly russian oh dude wow that'd be way easy bro just move to russia dude dude i'm not hairy like them All right, bro, you have no idea who you are. You should definitely talk to some people and see who you are. All right, dude. Pizza Hut, baby. Domino's, baby.

If you want a board game, go to Domino's, dude. Nah, man, if you want some bullshit pizza in your terrorist, go to pizza, bro. What do you mean? If you want to lend money to your father and then get it back from them in front of your mother to pay for pizza. Go to pizza. Go to pizza. If you want to be harassed by the employees, go to pizza. If you want delicious, quality American pie, go to Domino's with extra sauce, bro.

It's a box with pizza flavoring sprayed in the inside of it. Yeah, but we'll say this. Fuck you, Little Caesars. Oh, fuck Little Seasons, bro. We can agree right there, bro. Go see Theo Vaughn. I'll be in Charlotte in two weeks, and then I will be somewhere else. I'm coming to Buffalo, Washington, D.C., it's already sold up, but we're at a Sunday show.

And you can catch me every Monday and Thursday on this past weekend. This week, we have a sex worker that came in, and we have her in, she's wearing disguise because she doesn't want to let her identity be known, but we got that we got a real sex worker who's working that you know it's a great show man tune into it but uh and britton shaw will be coming on to my podcast next week that's right bro and this thursday friday sat i'm chicago shonberg improv the following week i'm the parlor live in seattle and tickets for utahs just went on sale get them then theo and i are uh in pho October 27th doing a big show with Big J. Ari Schaffer,

Brian Callan, myself, Theo. The first show sold out. So we had a second show. That's almost sold out. Phoenix, all things comedy, all-store, all-star comedy festival. Yep, fuckchristelia.com. Fuckchristelia.com.

That's not a real site, bro. It's not a real site. All right. This is this thing in the king. We're out.