The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 402 Will Sasso

Episode Date: February 15, 2026

Will Sasso and the guys talk flirty male trainers, knockout snores, Bryan's root vegetable face and Superbowl lV shoes, eating extra rare steaks, kissing in movie roles, Sasso filming Boss Level with Mel Gibson and coming out as a Millennial, Brendan's favorite pregame mixtape Jock Jams, 90's music hits, Apartment Patty, Conerstone Caroline and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can withstand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. For sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club.

Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Honestown... studios in Pliya, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live.

That doesn't matter. Sounds better when you say, live. We're not live. We don't do it. Shut up, man. And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. Shut.

This is not live. It's not live. I want to start this podcast with a question. and I want to know what motel did you snip the drapes from to make those shorts

huh? I'm not mad at them will I'm not mad at all those are some nice it's got the biggest legs and the biggest calves the biggest legs

I've ever seen my life well it's like I always say with regard to fashion never be afraid to introduce color I don't I like where you had that

yeah now sure the seasons are turning and you decide to bust out the shorts now Yeah, but... Well, in my native Canada, it is, of course, finter. It's a cross between fall and winter and... Finter.

Finter. And you'll wear shorts in finter, won't you? I wore shorts growing up all year round. I would walk to school in shorts in February. I'll fucking swim in February. Okay. I'll kick your fucking head in in February. I'll take you to Saskatchewan and grind your face along the glassy,

uh, grass. Hey, what the fuck? He's so aggressive for it? Have you ever played full-contact football in the winter in Canada on grass? No. The cold cuts right through me, and I don't do well with contact sports with big guys. Yeah, it's like, it's like that Annie Lennox song, walking on broken glass. What's going on?

What's up, man? What's going on today, guys? What's up? You haven't looked us in the eye once, dude. What's up, man? Last time you're in here, Will, you guys did a 10-minute podcast reunion. We did. I was gone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I haven't seen you in seven years. Dude, I haven't seen you about since the 90s. Since the 90s. Yeah. When we didn't have this whole PC thing, am I right? Say the C word. No.

Say the C word on your podcast. I mean, I will. Ruin everything. Come on, ruin everything. It only works if you say cun. It only works if you say cun. Actually, outside of any British person, I love the way you say it. Thank you.

You're the best at saying it. Can I say it aggressively? No, because you go. The British can get away with it. They can say anything. Yeah. They use the F word. The F word to describe cigarettes.

And we're not saying... See, I grew up around that. My grandma's family's English. My grandma would say the F word. So when people take offense to it now, I'm like, well... Yeah. Hey, how come we're afraid to say the word when there's no cruel intent behind it? Does intent matter?

I just don't like saying it at all. I don't want someone to be... Come on. Words carry... Words carry power. Are you fucking cunt? Okay. See? I'm not one of those. But you got a little uncomfortable. You made one of these.

Everyone got quiet in the room. Yeah. Everyone got quiet except for this. Yeah, but those are fighting words from where I come from. Where I don't come from. Okay, but wait, listen to this. Well, I don't come from in Sicily, those are fighting words. You're not from Sicily. You were born on a ship somewhere. But, uh, we have no idea.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you why there's a problem with what you're saying because I'm sitting here. and I'm breathing totally normally, and I'm not feeling intimidated at all, as a matter of fact. And the reason for that is, when I called you that horrible word, you went. All right, man, you know what? You've already shown your cards. No, I'm just not in the fight mode right now. But where I don't come from, I don't, you know, I have my, everybody has their line. And if you cross it, they say every man has a line.

Yeah. For most men, it's the, it's the front door of their house. me line goes a little further than my front door Oh yeah? Yeah Like what? Well there's a certain things that I would Like if I had to fight you I'd lose quickly

But there's certain things that I'm A little bit further back for me and Will Yeah but just know that Just know that even though I'd lose quickly with you I'd meet you halfway if I had to If you crossed a certain line You watch Game of Thrones? Yeah

You watch Game of Thrones? You ever seen the big guy when he fights that guy And just fuck, take his head and goes Cooch! That's what Will would do to you And I'd pay Will I'd pay hard, cold cash if you could do that to Brian. What the fuck?

I don't know if that's something you're into. Do you think you could squeeze my head? Until I died? Until it snapped like a fucking, like me trying to open a walnut, like a jar of marmalade. I'll tell you this much. It might take me a while. But if I really lean on it and get my body in it, you're going to fall unconscious at some point in the first 30 seconds. So I don't have to worry about you squirming around.

Just head pressure. Just head pressure. Just my. Just my, the palms of my hands, the heels of my hands on your temple. I will say this. I will say. One of those deep knockout snores? One of those ugly fucking, oh man, he's been sleeping.

Has he been sleeping for 16 hours? Or, yeah, is that a hyena trying to choke out a wild boar? Is that a trucker trying to choke out a wild boar? clear his throat? Well, this is what I would do if you did that to me. What? I would probably not die. I would make a recovery. I would then find a way to work my way up the penal

system as an administrator until I became a warden. And sue the shit out of him? Nope. I'd become a warden of a prison. Then I would frame you in the place that I was the warden. You would go to jail. No. Now listen. And then I'd have you walked out, I'd have a couple of

sadistic guards. We'd walk you out and tie you to a post. Run a train? on him. I know where you're going on. No, no, no, no, sorry. No, I'm so shocked to the, I'd have to find guys to run a train on him and he's, you know, he's a good looking man, but not to other men. You know what I mean? That's true. That is true. In prison, he is a delight. I don't agree with that. If, well, not, no, this is a handsome big dude. Okay, but I don't want to run a train on him because I'd have to organize that and I can't find, there are only so many chins out there that, you know, that are in jazz. Well, no, he's not black. Right. So what I was always upset at the amount

the small amount of gay men who would have a crush on me when he used to work out at Gold's Hollywood and a friend of mine because you're a bear would say every once in a while he would say I know someone has a crush on you and I'd say oh who you know and then he'd say that guy over there and I'd be like I'm

I'm out of his fucking league you know what I mean yeah it wasn't very often you know I'd be like I want more gay attention anyway what were you talking about your feeling I was doing tricept pull downs at Gold's gym right on coal and a guy got behind me. I didn't even know. And he goes, get your, get your hips under you there.

And he bumped my knees with his knees and started and he goes and get those elbows in. I didn't know him and he was behind me. And he was spotting. And I was, I left immediately after that set. I ran away after that set. I had a gay guy come up to me and go, dude, you want to get a juice? Ooh, that's pretty cool. Nope, sure don't, man.

All set on juice. I know what you probably went. Nah, I'm good, man. No, no, I'm all set, man. Now, I brought that up to prove a point. how easy it is to get you off of your point. No, I appreciate that. Because all I got to talk about is going to the gym and a guy.

Well, I don't want, so barring going to Golds and finding a couple of those scrubs who would actually train you, instead of that, I would have these two district guards walk you out, tie you to a post, and I'd take a wet rope. I'd soak a rope overnight. A thick, coarse rope. In oil? No, it'd have to be water. And I'd tie that rope around your head.

Okay. it'd be a band around your head. And what happens in the sun is that rope would then start. Tighten. Yeah, it starts to dry. And as it dries, it would tighten ever so slowly. This is the plot of Passion of Christ? Well, it may as well be because there's nothing more painful and it would drive you mad.

It would be slowly tightening on my head. It would watch you from the window. Take about seven years. But yeah, it could be one way to do it. No, it doesn't take too long. Take a while. It's a famous torture. Well, I'll tell you what would take a while.

And everyone's going to find out about this because we're going to sell tickets and we're going to have a pay-per-view. It's going to be the first fighter and the kid pay-per-view. You're venturing into new lands and you want to make some real fucking money. Yeah, we're going to do a pay-per-view. And it's going to be you and me and it's going to be, we're going to incorporate a little of the, you know, the wrestling sports entertainment thing. We're going to say that it's a no disqualification match, right?

But MMA rules, no disqualification and submission or knockout only. Okay. And then you're going to come at me with whatever. What's it going to be? Yeah, I'm going to shuck and I'm going to, and I got considerable kicks or whatever. I probably throw kicks and punches at you because I don't want to get into a wrestling. And I'm going to swat those away and bat my eyes. And it's not going to be fun to watch, right, on TV.

You're going to be like, he's never fought. What the fuck? I'm going to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is going to be even more embarrassing when I actually do get a hold of you and just kick your legs out from under you. And then I start the game of Thrones. Yeah. Bring that up, chin, that game of throne scene.

What's the guy's name? The mountain. The mountain. And then everyone's going to go. The mountain kills man with hands. People are going to go get popcorn and hot dogs because it's going to take about four hours. Of you. Of me just going, and again, you're out cold in the first 30 seconds.

And then at around the four hour mark, you're just going to hear. And then your head's going to get views, though. Collapse in. That's got on the top. It kills one of the faith militant members. No, it would be. It's the second one down. The Red Piper versus the mountain.

Red one? Yeah. Yeah. That's it. This is exactly how I picture Now you gotta fast forward Because it's showing the whole scene here We're even gonna do it like outdoors like this

We're gonna do it at the Greek theater Here in L.A. Yeah, I'm honest And I'm gonna sit on top And I'm also gonna rent a small person To kind of play this point You know when it comes Brendan's gonna sit there like the emperor

Yes And just do the thumbs up, thumbs down Yes When it comes to Sword plate There we go Size doesn't much matter Does it?

You'd be surprised The size of the sword matters So there's Brian with that shitty bowl cut And then here's Will. Boom. Here goes all your teeth. And then here's Will. And this will take four hours.

But this, imagine this for four hours. I got to watch this show. Now here's Will doing this and dead. And dead. Game of Thrones style, Will Sass O'Brien. Oh, no. Now it's going to sell pay-per-views, Will. And then he died, though.

And then he died, though. And then he died. Yeah, yeah. You're, wait. See, I'm the old rich, dude. I love you. That's me, that's me right there. And then we'll rent the small guy I'll find.

And you'd rock that outfit, too. Yes. You get that fucking full length. John Varvados, then we'll hire just some dime piece. Yes. I love her. Look at that quilted, uh, what is that quilted armor? Man.

Yeah. See, that's what I want to happen. You be? Well, that's what I'm not cool with having my head. You're going to have to fill out some papers before we start. I'll tell you that right now. You might want to get your issues in order. I'm not filling out any papers.

You might want to get your banking in order. You might want to fill it. You might want to get that will going. No, I'm not doing any of that. Something to think about, though, bro. Something to think about. Have you ever had? Hey, something to think about, though.

Have you ever had a guy? Give your fingers out of my face. I had a man who was my friend who basically. This is the beginning of every Brian Callen story. I have a friend. I have a guy who's my friend. No, Lucienhold. Story 2,521.

A friend. He's met him three times. Let's carry on. Lushin Holt, who managed the comic strip in New York City. Okay. Who was a wonderful man, gave me my first stage time. Never heard of it? And he had a terrible disease called scleriderma.

And he was dying, and he said to me, I was in a position. And he said, well, I said, no, I said, I don't have much time, you know, because we ran out for lobster. And I went, oh. And he said, I said, no, you never said know that. And he said, well, my doctor. What were you guys eating? Oh, I need a. We're eating lobster.

Oh, good. Oh, good. Good. Go on. The reason I say that is because he was a peculiar man who said, I was always a tail. There's you. Yes.

That knocked the fuck out, snore. Okay, so I'm sorry. Scriberd-Dermas, poor gentleman. He doesn't have much time. He said he said, Dissanering his memory by talking about what the fuck he ordered. Okay, but he was a peculiar man. Said, I've always been a lobster.

I've always been a tail man. Now I'm a claw man. I thought that was interesting. I said, okay. And then he said, my doctor told me to get my things in order. Okay. Now,

now we're cooking. Now you're getting there. Now we're doing it. Now you're telling a story. And I didn't know what to say. And I said, I said, here's this man dying. And I said,

I lamely said, you know, doctors are wrong all the time. Oh, geez. And he said, not in this case. Oh. And there was a,

yeah. It must have been bad then. That's rough. And then he died of mine. Will, do you have any friends who died of, thing can't tell us about? Let me see if I can get the humor going on this podcast.

I don't know what to do in those situations. No. With death? No, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. What do you say? No, you just, you just. You send that that fucking Hallmark card that says hang in there and never stop fighting.

It shows the frog choking out the seagull. You've seen that? No. They love that, dude. My dad. You've seen that? They love that. Anyone who's dealing with death.

They love that, dude. never stopped fighting it shows a frog in the mouth and he's choking him out my father had the best my father I call my dad my buddies unfortunately died of pancreatic cancer but when he had it I called my father my father's friend is an expert I say my buddy's got pancreatic cancer and I know your

friend is an expert and my father said oh he just found out of yeah he goes well and I said but he's got about two years and my father said no he doesn't have two years he's got months I said what do you mean he goes maybe three months stops and I said no no no because the doctor and he goes stop stop stop he's got I'm just telling you

if they found it, it's blah, blah. I said, oh, okay. And I go, well, that seems kind of harsh. And I was calling him trying to get some good news. And he goes, no, you got to say, by now. And then he hit me with that full. And he was right. He was right.

He died two months later. Really? And he hit me with this, though. He goes, he goes, I hate to be insensitive. It's just that I'm reading about World War II. And the battle of the, and he goes through the battle where like literally, he was in a day, like 100,000 young men fell. And I was like, well, that puts things.

in perspective. Yeah. It's like, all right, I gotta get out of here. Yeah. The frogs versus the seagulls. The frog.

You've never seen that either? I thought you were joking right now. I swear God. You've never seen that card? It's a famous, when I was a kid, it was a poster, it was like,

never give up. It shows a frog getting eaten by like a giant pelican. Frog seagled cartoon picture, never quit. Never give up. Yeah.

Come on. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. That's what you say to dying people. The frog is choking the seagull while the seagull's trying to eat. See, that's good. This is a metaphor. So that's eagle?

That's life. That's death. I'm getting that. Your friend dying of AIDS or whatever? He's the frog choking the seagull out. Now that exact design there with the clip art and how shitty it looks, I'm getting it tattooed on my chest. Do it. Because I appreciate that.

Never give up, fellas. And I want it. And that's why I brought you here. And I'm going to. Oh. Never give up. Never give up. And I'm going to, I would like to ask now for your audience to let me know because

I want it done free. So if you've never done a tattoo before, allow my chest to be your canvas. That's not a good idea, Will. That'd be sick, I think. This is how you move. This is how you do the internet. This is how you do the new media. Get the lights, bro.

You got to involve everybody. You got to get the lights. Do it for the gram, bro. Do it for the gram, bro. Do it for the gram, bro. Do it for the gram. Brian's Instagram is the only Instagram that is a full-length television show. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Every, what do we got? One minute? Here's one minute. All right, dude. Didn't DeLea talk about this? Did he fill in a minute?

I heard it. I had to do that one where he just sent me that hilarious. I didn't fucking see it. Shut the fuck up. I'm referencing Chris, who we know in your audience knows, of course. Not a specific Instagram. Have you seen this one? Yeah, I've seen all those.

No, the last one. Boy, I look more and more like my nose seems to get. Getting older, Bubba. Well, it's getting very big. You get older, Bubba. Get older, Bubba. That's an old man right there. Your hair's the frog and lights the pelican.

If they give you, if Instagram increased it to two and a half minutes, your videos will be two and a half. You do 13 minutes. He would do 13 minutes. He would just talk until, and it's like, you know, and now I'm heading over to. And that's how they stop. Because he's just talking until it ends. You're the only person who also uses the camera in it and just records right on the app and then send. Like, you know,

There's no, like, recording on the camera. I'm on two TV shows. There's no two takes. No, just the one day. Just the, oh, he opens Instagram. No, come on, man. He talks into it for a minute. And then he hits send. Be an unfair.

My eyes, I got to get my eyes pulled up a little bit. Yeah, let's, I would like to watch that. You have said a, he got some eyeballs. I mean, I'm not mad at your eyebrows, though, bro. It's the one thing that's fucking thriving. I'd like to watch this one and talk about what sort of plastic surgery you should get. Uh, okay. What?

Tighten my, tight my... Got a long day of shooting, and this is what I get from Christa Lee on a Monday. I got a question for you. Did you have a number, uh, fruit back, doctor? I'm getting scoliosis because, uh, my knot's too thick, you know what I mean? When I fucking sit on my wallet, my knot is too thick. Uh, I tried getting, uh, smaller, uh, larger bills, rather. Like, uh, I tried to win hundreds instead of 20s and fives and shit.

so my knot would get fucking... He's wearing those glasses on purpose. I'm not mad at them. They need them to start making $1,000 bills, and they're not going to do that anytime soon. So, also, I would put my wallet in the front pocket. They say, do that. Here it comes.

But my cock is eaten up too much real estate there. I'm in a... I'm in a... I don't need this. You probably do, man, because you're fucking 80. Let me know, man. Let me know, man. Because you're fucking...

Let me know, man. My cock is eating up too much real estate. Should be his next t-shirt, by the way. That should be the name of his special. My cock is eating up too much real estate. Can't use my front pockets because my cock is... Which calls his next special, knots. Not.

My not. I would start with an eye lift. Okay. And then there's a problem area right around the jowls there. Well... And then I would pin those ears back a bit. What? And then I would definitely Botox the fuck out.

out of that river like crease. Yeah, bowtags. I'm with the bowtog. I wouldn't kill you a little bit of a nose job. Yeah. A little nip-tuck on that. You've never taken a punch to the face and yet you have a boxer's nose. Yeah.

I'd replace your lips completely. Hey, what the fuck? Yeah, I'd put some fillers in there. And let's go ahead and bring that hair line down and even it out. Dude. And then I'd fill out this part here. Look, I'm not looking good. Jowls?

Yeah, the jowls. The jowls? I'm working late. Yeah. Now, are you morphing into a bloodhound? Is that what's happening? I'm not happy with how I'll belong. My face has become.

I'll be honest. And I understand. Now, do you own a bloodhound? No, I don't. Because they say you start to turn into your dog. You start to look like your dog. Well. You look like a damn good bloodhound.

I own a corgi and a shepherd. My face is becoming very pointy. I'm full of points. I wouldn't call that pointy. I wouldn't call that pointy. I wouldn't call it. I'm not mad at it, though. Your face grows like a root vegetable.

No. It's got lines and it takes its own. It just sort of follows the soil. No, I feel like I have character to my face. It's a distinguished face. More like character. Root vegetable. I love puns.

I love puns. I love doing comedy on your podcast and sharing some puns. All right, dude. We're wearing a similar outer layer. Yeah, we're wearing a similar jacket. Hey, what's up with your shoes? What is that, did the male cheerleaders at Super Bowl 4 wear those? Fuck on.

Look at that. Those are the Dallas Cowboy, the boosters, the guys who would chuck the girls up in the air? Is it a golden than they had in the NFL up until Super Bowl 4 when they realized, hey, no one wants to see these guys toss girls in the air. Just have the girls dance around and pom-pont. How do you feel about it? So sorry, Brian, you're fired. Well, can I keep my shoes from Super Bowl 4?

Fuck off, dude. These are expensive. Those are Dallas Cowboys. Boy, look at how old they look too. These are Italian made by a husband. Those are not a... Those were made in Austin, Texas, in 1969. Because you wore them at Super Bowl 4.

No. When you were tossing girls in the air and holding their foot and putting your other hand on their fanny. And they go, yay. Ra, rah, sis, boom, bah. And you kept those shoes. I didn't cheerily, all right? I was an athlete. Let me ask you this.

Do you, how do you feel? about men now cheerleading. LA Rams bring them up Lynn. LA Rams have two Have you seen these boys dance? I haven't.

They can dance. I bet they can. I know like, I will say this. If we're going to go if everything, if there's no fucking, you know, rules anymore

and everybody's just, you know, men are women, women are men and there's whatever, like all the good, all the fucking PC shit that's going on right. I guess that's PC.

I don't know. I will say this. Yeah, don't make them dance differently than the girls. You want in on this? Let's fucking do it. I agree. And as a matter of fact, this, to me, is sexist. You really want to fucking go there?

Make them wear the same shit. I agree. Don't be like, well, men are doing it too because it's everyone's the same. And then make them wear their own shit. That's them. They're not gay at all. I can tell just by listening to them. that they're fucking incredible dancers.

Quentin Perron and Napoleon his name is Napoleon. He can fucking break it down. I like it. I bet they can dance. I bet you will suck the skin off you dig. I'm only looking at dancers, bro. I'm only looking at her.

Wow. Three rehearsals and then the final audition. Only 40 people would make the cut And these men knew they had to do we know what they wear at the games? Because there's been several games now, six games. I saw, I saw it out of here. I saw a clip, Chin, go back. There's an actual one them dancing.

I think, oh, there we are. Is that that one? There we go. First time. That looks like practice. Their outfits are some. Oh, there we are. Yeah, see, no, you got to wear the same shit.

I agree, man. have to, you have to adjust. So, he should just be in white. Who are these things? One on the left, hot. The Texas cheerleaders claim they endured brutal working conditions.

Yeah, did you hear about this? No. No. They had different rules. Yeah. You ever know about this? Cheerleaders make zero money. $100 game.

Others are fighting double standards tied to their weight and wardrobe. I felt humiliated. Okay, well, now this is a different story now. No, we're not. This has nothing to do with that. I forget what team it was. Was it the Redskins were the girls,

they were forced to go to this thing and take their tops off? Like, it was some sketchy shit. Yeah, they, I don't remember the team, but they had these guidelines. Is it the Redskins, Chin? You can not. You're cheerleader. You become a cheerleader for the prestige, right?

Not for the money? Yeah, the prestige. But $100 a game? And they practice like 20, 30 hours a week? But the NFL doesn't make enough money to pay them. They're poor. They're poor. They're poor.

Roger Goodell? Yeah, there it is. What's Roger Goodell make like $60 million or something a year? Topless photo shoot on Easy Night Out. You know, they had these guidelines. I can't, I don't know if it was the skins, but the cheerleaders had these guidelines to where they're not allowed to frattenize with players, but players don't have those guidelines. So basically what you had happening was the players could, you know, hit on the girls all night long. But the girls would have to leave the restaurant, leave the situation, the responsibility, which was all on them.

And that's unfair. is fair is for the male cheerleaders to have to wear exactly what the female cheerleaders are wearing. Now, I'm not expecting a man to wear the bra top thing. That's silly. Should he be shirtless? Yeah, shirtless. And then have the dress on and his nuts just flying out the front. He's, that, that guy's in fucking incredible shape and he can just wear shorts. Why is he even in long pants? Yeah, why is he in long pants? Why is he in Daisy dudes? If I'm at a game and the cheerleaders come out and I'm watching, oh, look, there's the she's lovely. And if you're, if you're on the other side of the fence and you're watching this guy, I don't, I wouldn't want to see him fully

closed. I guarantee it's because if the average bro who sees that wants him in long pants. But that's not what we're saying. The average bro doesn't want to mail cheer. That's sexist. You're going to go down that road. That's what I'm saying. If we're doing it, let's do it.

Do it. You got to go all in, dude. There's only two, right? There's no more to. Two. That's two. First. Rams are the best team in football.

I thought there was four altogether. Two. There's one on the Saints. Is it? One on another team and two on the Rams. Just Google how many male cheerleaders are in the NFL. It cracks me out. It seems to be a whole bunch of...

I don't know. Spell cheerleaders. I know. There's no EF to R. Cheap. Cheap, chip. Chip. No cheerleading.

Cheers joined two NFL squads. Only two are featuring. Oh, okay. And the Saints. Both good teams. Well, that grinded things to a hall. Let's talk about your shoes again. You're not excited about it, B.

So, I'm here on your podcast. What are you been doing, Will? Yeah, interview me. Fucking, I'm a guest. You've been busy, dude? Yeah, you've been doing louder milk? Yeah, litter milk. What do you, are you, do?

That shows getting some traction now. What does it be? What is it be? Lowder milk? It's on the audience network, but it's getting traction. Is it getting traction? I think so. The kids are saying.

They seem to be advertising for it. Can we get a trailer or some shit, shit? No, I don't know. Yeah, we don't need to see a trailer. Yeah, we don't need to see what's going on here. Shut on. Fuck that. No, just don't.

Shut up, Will. No, no, no, no. Is it milk? Where do you shoot this at? We actually shoot it in Vancouver. What was the name of this show? I said, that's your hometown, dude. How many episodes did you shoot 13?

No, we just shoot 10. Shoot 10 here. Actually. Are you done? Yeah, I'm done. Our season two premiere is tonight as we record this. Oh, that's why you're here. No, that's season one.

I thought you're here because you're a friend. So watch season two. Yeah. And it's Rob Livingston, right? You're running a meeting out of it. Yeah, Ron Livingston. Store of closet. Well, I'm glad you here now.

How's everybody doing? Yeah. Wow, I have chills from that wave of excitement coming at me. Why'd you move? Me, what about you? You disappeared. I was just giving you some space. It's Finamom.

Is Pete Davidson in this, too, Will? No. Different show. Got sure. She's over. She's back with that clown of doctor. What kind of a woman goes with the man who has the money, the security, looks, the future?

Instead of going with the floor cleaner who runs a rehab in a record store closet. I'm a critic with an impeccable reputation. I'm a published author. I'm somebody. Ish. I don't see more Will Sasse. I'm not watching this fucking thing. There is.

That I married your ex-wife. Grovel somewhere else, Fatty. Laddham look, he's got nowhere to go. You know where I was? One of the group guys saw you. You're coming to my meetings. Let's get the band back together and go back to the church. You slip up.

Just one time. That guy played my dad on a show in the 90s. That guy? Yep. Eric Kinley's up. So we're in. Okay. Brian Regan.

I like Brian. He's funny as fucking. Dude, he's got a dart stuck in his head. Whoa. You can't lie at the group, Mugsy. How deep is that in there? Ow! Yeah!

Do you see? No one can ever heard of... This is season two? Season two. You're an asshole. No, I'm a critic. You're a critic. Every critic was a failed.

No more phones in the meeting. You're going to get sober, not famous. Oh, that's a good quote. Yeah, get that in there. He haven't written anything. I'm yours. I could if I want. Ron's on another show, right?

Where he commits, he dies. He commits suicide. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the big chill with suicide or something. So I'm organized. Have you seen my fucking computer? All right. All right?

You like, you like doing it, right? Yeah, I love doing it. It's Pete Farrelly and now Bob Farley Farley is also joined the join the something about Mary yeah the early brothers fairly brothers

behind it and Bobby Mort is a fellow who created the show he's in your hometown and it films in your hometown and it films in Vancouver so Pete was like you know

the other year when we started it or whatever he's like oh I really want you to do the show and by the way this is incredible impersonation of what did you say what did you say

Ryan Cells is not available see right Ryan Cells is not available is that what he said anyway so yeah Loudermilk it's a good time and there's some sort of cliffhanger. So if you're watching tonight,

I'll spoil it right here. I'm not in the first episode. Oh, well, that's... Don't watch. Because we're... Because, because I ran off with his ex-wife at the end of the first season. And then come on back. So, you know, but watch it anyway. Do you make out with the actress? Yes. Nice. My good friend,

Lauren. Nice. Lauren Wasser. I haven't had to do a kissing scene and... Almost ever. Well, really? Find the Kid 3D. You made out that attractive young girl. I did? Yeah. You don't remember? That's right.

The SDD thing. That's right. Yes. You never do, you never do, like, kissing scenes and love scenes? I don't. My character is so alone in the Goldbergs. He just can't get a date. And now that I'm older, it's going to be even harder.

It's going to be even harder. I'm not, who you know. Nobody wants to see me fall in love on screen. I'm always. The idea. I'm always doing kissing scenes. You know, man, I don't know if that's true. I'm always married and I just did.

I didn't do it. all the fucking time is what I'm doing. You're doing movies too, right, Will? And in movies, yes. And in movies, I'm always kissing in the movies. Yeah, get your hand right in the movie. Sorry, that was a mistake. Hey, I don't like that.

I didn't mean to do that. Don't be rude. I was just gesturing, like, and then. Hey. Sorry. What was the Super Troopers, too? Was that the last movie you did? No.

I didn't kiss anybody in that. No, I did some movies. I did some movies. Because I'm always asked him Brian. I'm like, where the fuck's Will, man? He never hits us up anymore. He's on set. He's doing movies.

He's gone. You think you're better at us, bro? You actually moved out of LA. That's the vibe he has, right? No, I don't. No, no, no, no. You should just rent your place out in fucking, uh... Give it to Brian.

And Los Angeles. Give your fucking house to Brian. From the year 2000 where I freshly lost a bunch of weight. Look at my fucking head. Oh, my God, I'm old. Yeah, no, I just shot, well, I shot boss level with your, with your good pals, Frank Grillo and Joe Carnahan. Oh, that's right.

Worked with Mel Gibson. Carnahan says it's the first movie ever. where you're in frame and Mel Gibson is out of frame. In focus. Yeah. Yeah. He did this shot where Mel Gibson is like completely out of focus. He goes.

Yeah. And then he's like, anyway, fucking. Mel Gibson was singing your praises, by the way. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a, he was a, he was a fucking sweetheart. In a way, that's kind of a pretty, that's a good marker in your career when Mel Gibson is talking about how good you are.

That's nice. It's not a bad thing. Yeah. No shit, Mel Gibson. That's what I say to him. You know? No shit. No shit.

Oh, shit. My, I'll, I'll tell you, my, Mel Gibson and I are in pretty much every scene together. And so they would like sometimes, did I tell you this? They'd sometimes break us for lunch at the same time. And my favorite thing was one day, one day we just went to lunch early, so we're sitting there talking about, whatever. And there was like, they were doing like, you know, like fucking steak and shit over there. And Joe has a wonderful, wonderful setup. And so at any rate, cut to us sitting there.

and I'm, like, digging into my steak, and we both eat it the same way. Really raw. Oh. How raw, dude? I mean. Like, when you go to steakhouse, how do you grill it? I do it in Chicago. I want a blue on the inside, charred on the outside.

I want it. You want it crispy on the outside? Crispy on the outside. Luke warm in the middle. Yeah, it could be even a little cold. Yeah, like room. Oh, wow. Do me room.

So it's pretty gushy in the middle. I want it to see. Like a sushi. Like a barn fire started, and it's a thousand degrees. and a cow runs in there to save her calf. Real quick and get out. And then gets out. And just like is totally wrong.

The outside of has fifth degree burns. No, that's too much for Will. Is it called Ray. Plus? I'd eat that. I wouldn't send that one back. You wouldn't be happy, though. You mean that might be a little too cooked?

That's a little too cooked. You're like. That's getting there. Now we're talking. Now we're getting there. You're like Tommy Lee Jones in Under Siege where he's even wrong to go over there maybe. Oh, that. No, no.

That's more my style. You need more. Well, that's medium rare. I like mine rare. There we are. That looks like I cooked it. That looks exactly like I cooked it. You take it super raw in the middle.

Yeah. You and Mel Gibson were the steak that way, so you bonded over it? And he was eating it. He was ripping it apart. Like an animal. Like just would like rip off a piece because it was so perfectly rare. And we'd just think and we'd be talking and think. And so pretty soon I put down my fork a knife.

And I'm like, I got to eat it. I got to eat it. You got the okay to go hands. Yeah. I like everyone goes, fuck it. Like, when me and Brian eating sushi, is it the right thing to do? No, but Brian will take his fucking hands and just grab the whole thing. Like a bonbon.

And then you start doing it. And it's so much easier, isn't it? Yeah, I just pop it out. And I started doing it. That's when you know, that's when you know your friends with someone when you can go and eat at a barbecue place and get it. And get off. Yeah, get it everywhere. What?

What do you say? You're talking about what? What were you saying? Wait, no, hold on a second. No, because you said, I was just saying you could get messy while eating, and then you said something else. No, you said, then fuck you said, fuck. You said, and fuck afterwards. Yes, but I was saying.

Try tip and ass play. I know. That's what you. No, no, don't blame it on him. Don't blame it on me. What did you say? I said, you could, I barely got it out. I said, you know, you can eat with your friends.

You can get messy. Yeah. And then you can fuck afterwards. Right. And that's exactly what you said. I was finishing what you're sent. I didn't. I was going to say that.

I was just having barbecue. then you want to have barbecue and fuck each other. No, because I heard you go and then I, so I finished the sentence. No. Well, okay. All right. Anyway, well, now this is, that's neither here. Now it's not about Mel Gibson and the way it is.

All right. Okay. And then. The point is, Will, you've been busy. And then I did some other stuff, yeah. It says three stooges? No, that's fake. That's never going to happen.

Do you wish it would happen? Five years ago. It's a solid movie. Right now you're busy. Well, no, just it's like, it's like, you know, I mean, I'm 61 years old. I can't be expecting. to do all those stunts and stuff now. Yeah.

We shot that movie in 1985. When you're a kid. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Anyway, yeah, yeah. That's what it says. Been out of town. You've been around at all, dude. No, I know.

I haven't been here all summer. I've been gone for like, yeah, kind of been gone since the spring. How long you're in town now, though? Like a little while. I'm going to go back, I don't know, like two, three weeks. I'm going back to Canada a lot. Why?

I like it there. I'm from there. I'll tell you what, you know. As things get, well, I've made a decision in my life recently. And coming out right now? Might as well share it here. Oh, boy. And I think it's a good, I think it's a smart thing for me.

I've decided. There's a lot of, there's a lot of, you know, it's sort of hard to navigate, you know, what's going on. in the world and you know the right seems to be pushing more right the left seems to be pushing more left and it's and and there's a great deal of the country that are sort of like you know in the middle going what i don't get what who's who's wrong who's right who right sure and so i've decided that it would be smart for me yeah to become a millennial oh wow i don't think it's going this way i'm a millennial how would you how would you do that because you're almost 40 i'm 43 actually

So that's... I've kind of missed the marker there to be... I was born in 1975. Yeah. So that would make you a marker, sir. So, but I am... You feel more like a millennial inside? I want to be, and I feel like I am, and I feel like I have the right to be.

So how does that translate into behavior? Well, I just basically sort of, if I'm wrong about shit, it doesn't matter. Okay. That's one thing. You can quiz me on politics right now, if you'd like. You could talk about it. that Stormy Daniels has to pay all of Trump's legal fees. Yes, I did know that.

Do you know she's doing porn again? Oh, I did not know that. Probably now because she's got to pay all of Trump's legal fees, which is not. I think he had a team. I wonder how much that is. I wonder what that's going to. That's, that's, that's, that's, Oh, by the way, let's, let's abandon the millions.

Let's abandon the, because she, she, she, I was just going to say, let's abandon the stupid millennial bit. I want to talk about this. Yes. I see that. I want, I got you out of it. Thank you. You know what I'm saying?

This is fascinating to me. because the defamations who got dismissed, and now she's got to pay, because she, she did sign that non-disclosure thing. So now, you know, what is this now? That's her how much you're seeking. She was seeking $75,000. $130,000?

No, that's the money. No, that's not his legal fee. We probably don't know. We probably don't know what's going to cost. Yeah, that's true. That's probably not available on the internet. It's going to be expensive. His whole legal team?

I mean, you're talking at least mid-six figures. Sure. I would assume low seven. Well, it's, man, you know, the implications of this decision, like any other decision recently, even, you know, I mean, we don't need to get into it, but the whole Brett Kavanaugh of it all. There's all these other implications for it, especially in the middle of, you know, this Me Too movement and sort of this, you know, this, you know, this. rift that's happening between some women and some men, although, you know, I would like to think that everyone is still of sound enough mind to figure their shit out on their own. There's the sketch of the guy she says came up to him, but look at that guy.

How about the fact that he called her, how about the fact that he called her horse face? How about the fact that that guy is Theo Vaughan? That's Theo Von. That's a slightly gassed out, douchy Theo Vaughan. A sketch years later about a non-existent man, a total con job. paint. Wow. That's she's ID the thug. That's pretty. What was she thinking?

She's not thinking. Well, you know, but here's the thing. It's like, it's like, I don't know. Okay. Her views on porn went way up. I bet. Sure. She's probably seeing no money for that. A friend told me that. Yeah. A friend of like a friend of friend. Is that how you found that out? A friend. But when Michael Avinni, when Michael Avanai said there's a tape, you know, and all that, And this is a warning shot.

It was all bullshit. Yeah. Well, you know, look, okay, all right. Here's what's up. I don't know. Fuck. I shouldn't even. So it's like this, right?

Ah, fuck it. I'll bail on it. No, I'll say it. No, it's, okay. I don't, whatever. Let's not, I'm not trying to pass judgment on, on Stormy Daniels or fucking, what's his face, the president. But you can't, they hold too much influence.

people everywhere are going to look at this decision and then think, you know, oh, okay, well, if a guy is shitty with you, you can't really talk about it. And that's not the case. She had sex with the president. She wanted to or Donald Trump or whatever. It was a, it was an arrangement. She thought she was going to get on. She also got paid $130,000 to shut up about it. To stop talking, which those those, those, those, those, uh, those NDAs are garred.

garbage, obviously. They do nothing. Well, they do nothing until, unless you want to jump into court, and now she's in trouble because the signature is a signature. If you, if you agreed to something, then a court of law is going to say, probably not. Probably notarized to. And probably with a witness and all that. And he's the kind of guy who will sue. He's sue happy. And that's changing the public, you know, our societal opinion of how that works. I mean, it used to be very American to sue someone, but now it's just, it's getting out of control. If you're trying to want to sue. What the fuck? He's been doing this forever. He doesn't Trump likes a fight.

He loves it. He scored two victories, I feel like. He scored this victory, you know, with this whole Stormy Daniels thing. And then he, then Elizabeth Warren, how about Elizabeth Warren, who was at Harvard Law School? Thank you. Hold my hand. Elizabeth Warren, who was at Harvard Law School as a woman of color because she was Native American. But that's not how she got her job.

No, no. But it just cracked me up. She's talking about it. You know what? And now I'm talking out of my ass a little bit. fourth Native American. The Cherokee Nation was like, one one one thousand, less than one one one thousand. Indians, Indian gentlemen. And also the Cherokee Nation was like, who the fuck do think you are? That's true. That is a white woman. The Cherokee Nation, the chief of the

Cherokee Nation said that, uh, that a DNA, DNA has nothing to do with, uh, who, who a tribe considers a citizen of their tribe. And a DNA, uh, DNA would, would take the, would, would assume that someone in South America were the same as a... She's one thousandth and twenty-four far less than the average American now. She's so full of shit. You're not a Native American.

Why was she saying she's Native American? She was a woman of color. There was something about her being, you know, tied to that. She's so full of shit. That just made it bad. Go piss. Go piss.

Go piss. Go piss hard. You want my jug? You could just stay here. That'd be nice. Nah, your hog is a. fitting in there. When you're right, you're right.

When you're right. Yeah, no, it's a problem because she sort of picked a, she picked a mountain to stand on and it didn't make much sense. Like, shut the fuck off. Like, how dare you? First of all, look at you. You're not Native American. The whole point of being, like, when you talk about being Native American and what you faced or whatever, people do discriminate a lot of times on how you look. She couldn't look more white.

She's whiter than anybody in my Italian family. That's true. So what the fuck are you talking about? She's more Dutch than a windmill in something white. Than a windmill in Holland. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.

Well, you know, but here's the thing. And now I'm uneducated here. Why did she say it to begin with? Native ancestry. If she just said it for some street cred, then that's a problem. Yeah, she did. Yeah. Well, there you go.

That's a problem. Because because, because. Of course it's a problem. It's embarrassing. Yeah, because why do you need to be? And she talked about it. the one of brought it up. He was like, what? She brought it up. No, you weren't. Yeah.

And, you know, just to be, just to prove that you're a part of a, that you can, I do. You would know this. Hey, Brian, you know this for the fact. Let me get a goddamn word out. You know that's right. You fucking let me say what the fuck I was trying to say. Because if I start a sentence, no, because you're like, ooh-do, because you're not to finish your sentence. I'm trying to finish my fucking sentence. Now I'm done. Sorry. Okay. But I can correct me if we're on this statement. Go ahead. I ask, 100 women in Hollywood

Hot girls Hot, hot girls What their What their ethnic origins are What is it? And 99 of them Even if they have Super blonde hair

And freckles go I'm actually Scottish And Native American They all say Native American Because it's Something cool to be Well because Because it's

Because Native American Women Are very pretty There's a There's a You know There's a It's a

It's a mystical, magical. Look, I guess it's kind of crappy to say this out loud, but I kind of feel like, you know, well, North America in particular is headed in the right direction. You want to talk about in a thousand years. Everyone's just going to be this beautiful, creamy cappuccino mulatto. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, when you got to, if you do have a woman that is, I don't give a fuck what it is,

part something and part something else. As a man, there's a new, what, there's a new flavor at, uh, You know, you're like, whoa, you're like, whoa, you're what? I'm half Dutch, half Japanese. Holy shit. What are you? I'm fucking half Kenyan and half Irish. What the fuck?

That's, it's hot. Here you go. Warren's central offense dates back to the mid-1980s when she first formally notified law school administrators at Harvard that her family tree includes Native Americans. Warren's, here, Bob, here it is. Warren's central offense dates back to the mid-80s when she first formally notified law school administrators that her family tree includes Native Americans. We're still on this bitch.

Warren said she grew up with family stories about both grandparents on her mother's side having some Cherokee or Delaware blood. The story was that her father's family did not want her father to marry her mother because her mother had a substantial amount of Cherokee in them. And so there was this sort of this idea that it's like, no, you can't be together in this Romeo and Juliet thing. Now that's romantic. And she obviously heard it from her family.

and she can't assume that her family was lying to her. So she took this all the way to being, you know, to working at Harvard. She officially notified that. And I don't know what school it was, but the administration of one of these schools, I can only assume it was Harvard. It was Harvard and the University of Pennsylvania. Used her, used her word as her being part Native American to, you know, to include her in the, and I don't know if the term is correct here, but the affirmative action of all.

And sort of, okay, well, that's a quotient of our minorities that are. Dude, do you remember that lady in, I think it's Seattle, maybe it was Portland where she was part of the NAACP. She was the head lady. She was white. And she said she was black. And then a reporter, like just a local news guy went to interview. He's like, clearly not.

Blast. And then it broke out. Yeah, her parents were white as shit. Not Rachel Dozeal. Yep. That's her. And she darkens her skin and she does that with her hair. She identifies as a black woman.

And the documentary on Netflix is fascinating. Yeah. You feel a little sorry for her. She's also a little bad shit crazy. Yeah, she's crazy. But she just wants to be, she wants to be something that she's not. Which brings me back to something that we've abandoned.

I'm a millennial. Oh, God. Because you say you're not. I'm a millennial now. Well, if you say it, I'm sort of. I sort of. What's the cutoff for millennial? Am I a millennial?

You're sure as fuck not, Chin. Kat, you're a millennial, yeah? I think so. Either that or Gen X? I don't really know what to cutoff. Z? Z? Something like that?

Brendan, you might be a millennial. I don't think so. I think it's 1982. Yes, I'm a millennial. Oh, fuck, I'm a millennial, bro. Me too, dude. No, you're not. Don't try jumping on this, dude.

Sorry, okay. Let's abandon it again. So what's cat? 1995. Millennial. I was at the cusp. So what do you guys call? I'm Gen X.

You guys are called Gen X? Yeah, I'm Gen X. Because we're too extreme. 90s This is how you do it This is how we do it This is how we do it This is how we

Shana na na na na na This is how we do it It's 1990 And Brian's 50 In 1999 And Will is only 15 years old And soon they're both gonna be

In Hollywood Brian's much older Will is much younger because he's a millennial. Don't be an agent, man. It feels so good. Don't be my hurt. Nah. This is my favorite line of that whole song.

All the gang bangers forgot about the drive-by. What are you trying to move on? Why are you trying to make the drive-by? It's like, no, they're not going to forget about the drive-by. They forget about the drive-vats. They just put down their gun and pick up, take up, and throw your hands up. This is how to party do you say. It's kind of brought you up there.

This is how we do it. What a great song. Brian, this is the first time he's ever heard that song. Never heard my life. He's never heard that song. I've heard ever. What a great, Montel Jordan. Montel Jordan.

This is how we do. It's still the 90s. Can we not play that song? Can we not play that song? Can we not play that song? And through roll-ups. Launchable's and your backpack. Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan and Winn-Gretzky. And Tomah got cheese. The Seinfeld Show We'll just start it on TV. This is how we do it. You want to watch it? Yeah, hit it for me. Long shorts.

Long shorts. Brian, let us educate your old ass for a second. I know this song. 93 million views. Yeah. This is how we do. Shana-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. God, he's so cool.

It's fire and a kid. It's a podcast on the podcast. Brian's shoes are from Super Bowl for when he was a male cheerleader with the Dallas Cowboys. It's hard being an RB singing and then trying to be tough, too, isn't it? It's easy when you look, when he was like six foot nine. All they said was six, eight he stood or whatever. He was that tall?

I've heard this song 10,000 times because I grew up in this period. Hey, 20,000 dislikes. Who the fuck put dislike? this song. 93 million. I'm responsible for 15,000 of those. I was just like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I wonder what he's doing these days.

Yeah, I went to house parties in 1995, so I've heard this song. Nonstop. Nonstop. Yeah. Classic, though, really. So, remember jock jams? Yes. Hey, all those songs on there.

All the songs from, like, the stadium. Woo! Bampa Bamp Bamp Bamp Bamp B B B B B B B B B B Jams. Jinn. Jens. Jinn, did you? Or, you know, how old you think Chin is, Will? We talked about this before, right?

22. Thank you. Thank you. 22 years old. Jack, how old is. Jock Jams. Do you remember any of this stuff, B? Jock Jams?

It was all from, like, stadium songs. Really? Yeah. Want to play one? Sure. Kat, you're way too young for Jock Jams. If you're an athlete, you'd listen to it before games or something. I heard all the songs from the stadium

Yep Whoop there it is It's just all in there It was all these hits Man I just put in my CD player and go walk into school It's like you're at the fucking McNickles Arena

Oh all right Will Yeah guys Oh yeah All right Just a couple two gays There we go It's a big beer in his little twink There we go, boys.

Yeah. Oh, ow. Will's shorts just yelled fun. Oh. Hey, hey, hey. For the listeners, Will and, uh, Brian, they're fighting. They're fighting. Brian's hit him really hard, really hard.

And then Will just lift him in the air. And he's, oh, he just spiked him down. And Brian hit his heel. Oh, no. Oh, make out with him. Oh, yeah. Out blocked. Good luck

Thanks sir On the dance tonight Okay I was a good dance break Let's do some current events You have some current events That's called a dance break We should do a dance break every time Before we do current events from now on

Here's a little out of breath Nope I'm not Not me This is how we're doing Which one you want to start off with Um It's current events now It's Friday night

You picked me up really easily did. You don't weigh much. This was fucked up. Yeah. I saw this. This was fucked up. What happened?

Cat, I haven't heard about it. So this woman, she stood in front of the door of her apartment complex as a man was trying to come back in. This woman just so happened to be white. The man was black. And she wouldn't let him in. Eventually, he got in through the door and she kept on asking if he lived here. He said, yes, he's just trying to get home.

And she wouldn't let him through. She followed him into the elevator asking to see his key fob or his keys or to know what unit he lives in. He didn't want to give her any of that information. She's crazy. Yeah. Pushed through, went into the elevator, used his key fob to get up to his floor. She realized that she fucked up and then said, I just wanted to say as a neighbor, I wanted to introduce myself. And she started turning it.

She went so far as to follow him to his door. Watch him open up his unit. Go in. She called the cops and they came 30 minutes later. And what did she say to the cops? That she felt uncomfortable. What the fuck? That's what the cops came to his place saying your neighbor feels uncomfortable.

She sounds like an asshole. So what happened to her? She got fired from her job. Look at that dumb bitch. She's a goof. This is embarrassing. But he also, let me see the video. The video's not long.

You should watch the old. James is gone already. Oh, it's on YouTube. Let me refresh it. What a dumbass. She sounds like a shithead. She also saw his. fob when he was attempting to get in.

She said, would you steal that? I'm glad you got fired. I'm sorry. The keypad is right there. I understand that, no. You can film me. That's fine. What?

It's infuriating when you watch you. You have to film her because she could say he assaulted me. I know. She's saying anything in this kind of person. He was smart to bring his phone out. That's why you have to. That's why you bring your phone out. I'm uncomfortable.

I'm uncomfortable. He's like, I'm trying to get home. This is what you've got to deal with sometimes as a black dude. This is not touching. I'm not touching. Brian, what do you? 1,000-24th black? Yes, I am. No, don't do that. That's not...

Roast. No, that's not a roast. Roast. Look at what an asshole this person is. Brian, Elizabeth Warren Callan. I don't need to tell you that. It'd be hard not to just slap a bitch. I know. I know. But you better record her because she could say some shit about you to the cops. And now you get fired.

I'd be like, you dumb bitch. I live here. I had a woman He'd be good for him I had a woman When I was at dog park Screaming on me Because of my pit bull And tell me

Get away from me And pulling her dogs I go hey cuckoo bird My dog's really friendly Yeah I don't want to talk to you screaming I was like

Jesus Christ Yeah well two things That has nothing to do With this And don't have people But What Well I was just saying

That has nothing to do It is at all You're not black So You're white Is the driven snow And you're in something Called a dog park

She goes You black guys You got black guys near Pitbull, and I was like, what? And I was like, and I was like, well, black guys, because I'm Sicilian and she knew. What did she do for her, for work? She worked at a realtor office, I believe. She worked managing a apartment complex or something. She showed herself being an asshole.

You can't have someone that stupid. You just like, I can't. Well, life is one big litmus test, especially now with things just getting ramped up and ramped up. And this guy also is, I read somewhere, I don't know if he was keenly aware of it or the, You know, it was an editorial opinion within the article I was reading. That he was also worried about, you know, there was this situation that happened not too long ago where an undercover cop came to her home, thought she was in her own home. I know.

Open the door and there was a black man in his home and she shot the fucking guy. She wasn't an undercover. She was a regular cop and she shot him. Never said she was undercover. And we can go back and listen to that. And, you know. Didn't you? Nah, I didn't say that.

She was off duty. She came home and didn't say undercover. annoyed. So she was off duty and then shot him on X-Dade. So this guy, so I don't know, again, I don't know if this is something that he said in an interview later. It doesn't matter. It's the truth.

This is the sort of shit that people are. It's crazy. That people are dealing with. Not you. Not you, because you're more Dutch. No, I'm not Dutch. You're more Dutch than Elizabeth Warren. Hey.

Ryan had the same thing happening. I'm sorry. No, you don't do that on my own show. Hey, I'm sorry. You don't do that on my own show. I'm trying to make a point. Keep pushing the mic into my face. It's super disrespectful.

You are very, Hey, what the fuck? You're more air. That's four times. I'm already not a fifth, dude. You've got, I bet you've got. Not a fifth, dude. Don't do it.

You got blonde hair like stormy dangle stabs in the top of her head. No, I don't. In your anus. Because you're Dutch. You're fucking Dutch. Turn on the dock jams. Doc jim. Where's the judge?

Jop Jams. Duk Jiz. She reminds a mile high stadium. Next current. Miles. Next current event. Next current event. Holy shit.

It's funny how. Brendan's 15 and just mm-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-d-da-ma-wwwwha-ha-ha. Chan, if we get into any more fights that you have to play, your brother's stealing the fries. Just play chalk jams and it'll get me into the... Watching call Mecklenburg. That dissipates all kinds of aggression.

Not deal. Don't deal. Music just takes all the aggression out of the air. Amber Rose allows five-year-old son to curse, but wish he wouldn't use the N-word. So Amber Rose came out in an interview thing that she doesn't want her son to say the N-word, which got picked up from Wiz Khalifa. and she would much rather him say fuck.

She also goes on to say in the interview that she wants to give him the sex talk as soon as possible and that he will know how babies are made before he knows that Santa isn't real. She wants to be the type of mom that stalks condoms in the house just in case. Oh, she's gonna be the cool bomb.

Yeah, like the mean-go. Kids know that kids, I'm sorry, kids already know that, well, lots of kids know. And for years and years, parents have been saying, this is how when a mother and a father love each other very much. They get together and they are amorous and later a baby comes out.

That's how Brian's, well, this is what your white as shit parents would sound like. Don't say that. My mom is Sicilian and everybody knows that there's four play. I'm going to teach my kids about four. Got to have some four play. I remember a good buddy of mine. He was like the first one of my friends to have kids.

And so he was like, whatever, 22. And he had his boy, his first boy. And I remember we were hanging out and, you know, the boy was like five years old or something. And I said the F word. I'm like, oh, sorry. He goes, oh, I don't give a shit. You know, everyone's so worried about the fucking F word. It's just fucking language.

Who cares? You know, I'm worried about him seeing and then, you know, violence, this or that. I got no. I mean, I think that's wise to say, well, don't, you know, don't want you using the N word, but you can say, fuck. Look, I don't know how any kid, as a millennial. I'm speaking as a millennial here. I don't, hold on.

I don't know how any... I don't know how any kid avoids any of this stuff. I mean, I was having a conversation. I don't know why I'm thinking of this. But years and years ago, this guy he wanted boob, he thought we needed this shot of boobs in the movie. I was like, we don't need that. And it's like, no, well, it's R-rated.

I'm like, you're in the past. You're thinking of, like, movies in the 70s. Kids don't need to see boobs on the internet. They can see arcing ropes of jizz. Or boobs in a movie. They can see the craziest shit. Arcing ropes of jizz. Well, you know that.

You're addicted to, Hey, don't do that. Don't do this. And so, I'm warning you, bro. Kids can see anything. You think they can't hear the F word?

Not me. I was naive and I grew up in Canada and I thought. But you just said arcing ropes of jizz. Yeah, now, now, because I'm like 25. There's a,

millennium. You're not a millennium. There's research out there though that there's something about not, you should allow your kids to cuss or be around. The ones who shelter the kids with cuss words, there's some research. I don't know what study it was. Oh, you mean where kid boys get bored

to, like they almost get bored of sex? No, no, no, no. The deaf, nope, not even close. No, I'm talking about where if you, like, shelter your kid with not allowed to cuss. It's actually harms them more than that. Sure, sure. I think that there's a lot that kids should learn on the school ground.

I'm not even joking. And then parents should be there to clean it up. Now, you guys have children. I don't, so I'm just going to speak out of my ass. But having said that, I'm only 19 years old because of my life. Okay. The only thing is that kids now, they say, which is what's different is that parents, not only are helicopter parents, they call them lawnmower parents.

Oh, no. What's a lawnmower parent? So a lawnmower parent is the parent that gets all rid of all obstacles as the kids going through life. Talks to the teacher, makes the grades better. It does everything for the kids, so the kid never really encounters. And more importantly, kids don't have any, kids have literally no unsupervised time nowadays because everybody's afraid they're kidnapping and everything else.

So back in the day, kids kind of had to figure things out, including bullies. they kind of had to figure out. I'm getting bullied, but I've got to figure this shit out. Now it is, we've created sort of a, a lot of parents have created, you know, this sort of lawnmower effect, and it's not good for the kids. The nest effect? Yeah, it's not good for their development. Do you ever tell you the story about,

they're not solving problems on their own? Did ever tell you the story about my older brother when some kids came to the door? No. So I got into a bit of a tussle in elementary school, and after school, these kids come to the door, you know, like four or five kids. We're here, and they knock on the door, my, my older brother, answers the door. Is he a big guy too?

Nah, no. Especially then. He was a Sveld, soccer player. And he goes, he goes, they go, we're here for William. And he goes, and he could tell that they were like,

you know, some salty kids. And he went, oh, okay, hold on a second. He went, William, your friends are here. And I went outside and he shut the door behind me and locked it. Wow. And then I beat the fuck at all five of those kids. No, seriously, what happened, Will?

I think I kind of, we had a chat with the kids, and we didn't fight. But, you know, they just, you know, me, me, and we went like that. But I was like, and I beat the shit in my pants.

Yeah, they woke up in my fucking hedges with broken jaws, every single one of them. I put two, and I went to juvie. What's wrong with your fucking brother, I don't know, you know,

you know, he leads by example. He wants to, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a quon to the world,

and he wants me to go through the, you know, because I was a millennial, and he's like, Here's how I'm going to. Are you your brother close now? Yeah, the family's all close. Everyone's great.

Anyway, what's going on now? What else you got? Oh, there's the reason right here. What? Right here. For kids to cuss. So they only have so many tools to express when they're angry or frustrated. So they'll either scream, kick, or bite, hold their breath.

Yeah. When you cuss, they stop doing that. So if you let them cuss, there's a way to express it. I'll tell you what. When I was another tale from my youth. You know, because I grew up actually Italian. I'm 100% Italian. Wow.

Unlike the... I've seen the videos on Instagram with your mom. With my mom, she still has... No, we're not. We're from Napoli, from southern Italy. And the old man, I got my older brother,

my older sister. The old man used to make wine and there was always... Actually, me and my sister were watching some old, old, like, 8mm films. Every single birthday of my brother and sister

in the late 60s through the 70s, there was a bottle of Johnny Walker Red on the birthday table. Like somewhere near the cake. It was very funny. year after year. Booz became demystified to me because if I wanted some wine, my dad made wine. I could pour a little in my ginger.

Yeah, there's no mystery to it. Yeah, no mystery to it. Yeah, it's very European, which you wouldn't understand unless you're in fucking Holland because you're Dutch. Don't say I'm Dutch. You're going to make me mad again. What else you guys got? You know what?

You know what you drink of choice is? Be careful. Be careful. I'm going to tell you right now what you're... Be careful. I'm just saying you enjoy a beverage. Yeah, now at the end of my road. And I don't know if he's going to play.

John James. You like a beerstein full of... Watch it. Watch it, bro, because I'm telling you right now. Get ready for drop jams. Yeah. I'm telling you right now. Watch it.

I'm just saying what you prefer to drink. Yeah. Watch it. A beerstein. Okay. Full of Hollandaise sauce over ice made of deer blood. Because you are white as shit. That's the fucking bullshit.

No, jock jams are on. Fuck. Damn. Whoa, there it is. So lucky. Don't push the mic in my face. Sorry, I'm sorry that things move. All right.

What else you guys got? There you go. So this 28-year-old man went from Florida to Chicago to find his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. He hit him over the head with tire iron and then proceeded to carve his name into the new boyfriends thigh, cut off his dick and threw it over the fence. Jesus. Did the guy die? No. Luckily, somebody was,

a passer-by found him called the police as well, the ambulance, and he is alive. However, he does have permanent brain damage. Brain damage because of the... The tire iron, yeah. And no longer... And no dick. Wait, they weren't able to

put his penis back on? They don't put it there. We have no update. The one thing I wanted to know. The only thing that could have made this. It doesn't work that way. It does work that way. John Bobbitt. John Wayne Bobbitt. Oh yeah. Out of the corner window. No, they used his thumb. They put his thumb on his stick. And then they built a reservoir for Seaman and urine. You're walking down the street and somebody hits you over the head and

cut you. Well, that guy, that guy should, and I, you know, being someone who's from Canada, this is what we do in Canada. And I don't know if there's been much, much Ballyhoo made of this or if people know, we do have capital punishment. We do have the death penalty. And Brian, I know you'd like this. Yeah. It's called the polar bear death penalty. What is that?

It's where we take you in a single engine plane over to Canada's Arctic. Yeah. And we chum the ice with some seal. Yep. Just some seal bits. Yep. And then we leave you there. Yeah.

And you put you out there. Put you out there. But you're warm so that you're going to stay alive for a little while. Oh, yeah. But then they give you all sorts of. Big white shows up. And he sees you. Big White shows up and sees you. Yeah. Game over.

It pads out to your iceberg, which has happened before. Yeah. And takes you to the other iceberg and eats you up. Yeah. And I know that we've not, Brian and Brendan, I know not only have you seen this footage, we've probably watched it several times right here where the polar bear pulls a 800-pound walrus out of the water with his jaws and turns him into something akin to that actor with the mountain on the Game of Thrones. Yeah, that's right. And that's what this guy deserves. He deserves to be eaten.

slowly, dick first by a polar bear. Jesus Christ. He is currently on bond for $1 million. Never getting out. He's fine. I've got it. I will pay his bond. He's a good American. Why? Because he is a fine

American. Why? Because his horse face girlfriend had sex with another man and that is something that he's opposed to and a abandon the dabadubah.

What else you guys? This is just going to bail on bits. I'm millennium. No, no. So there are some cities that are enforcing a trick or tree age limit, which is 12. Yeah, because teenagers, they wear masks and do some shit. There are quite few cities who have this already in place, but nobody ever enforces it. Does L.A. have it in place?

I don't think L.A. hasn't in place. But this specific article cites that there are certain residents in certain neighborhoods that feel uncomfortable when a six-foot-tall kid comes trick-a-treating. But, I mean, where I'm from, that's like a 13-year-old Samoan kid. Maybe. That's true. That's true. But there's also kids can't care, don't carry ID. What are you going to do?

So how are you going to enforce it? Did you go to school a lot of Samoans? Yeah, a lot of Samoans. I'm sorry, don't say Samoans. It's just that I have friends from that. I'm a Samoa enthusiast. Well, that you are, but don't say Samoa. You knew a lot of Samoan.

I'm not giving grown kids my candy. I'm like, do you get the fuck out of here. This is for the kid. Go buy yourself fucking Snickers bar. How old are you? There's no way. I'm giving out sandwiches.

And anyone who violates this, I guess, I don't know if it's necessarily a law or a policy, can be fined up to $100 and or time in prison. Jesus. Or they will have to pay the legal fees. Or Storm and Daniels. Oh, jail, not prison. Because they talked about my mushroom dick.

But if they're younger, they're more than juvenile. All right, what else you got? Speaking of Harvard, I think you guys have talked about it here or maybe Joe Logan's talked about it, but the lawsuit against Harvard for discrimination against Asian Americans was filed yesterday. They did the same thing with Jews in the 50s. Because they're scoring so high that Harvard's becoming all Asians, right? No, there are barely any Asians in Harvard. They weren't letting them in? They weren't letting them in.

And the reasons why they said it was that they added a new criteria to the application. process, which is a one-hour interview based off of your personality. Yes. So they're keeping people out based off of personality points. They're also going to make the argument. That's their excuse for it. Asians are born.

I'm just kidding. No, but to be Asian American, you had to score, I think, somewhere like 450 points higher than a black applicant. Yeah, we don't get help from affirmative action. It goes against us. Yeah, yeah. There are 45 million ethnic Chinese, just as an example of worldwide. and they have done very well,

but they have not had an easy time of it. Got a personal rating score. So basically it's coming in and be like, all right, you're Asian or you're not getting in. Yeah. Courage and likability, all that stuff.

UCLA doesn't have that problem. You walk around there at the University, lots of age. They're killing it over there. Because it's a culture that puts education at a fucking premium no matter what. How many Asians do you know, especially ethnic Chinese,

who play an instrument fluently, get straight AIDS and all that. I know zero. You know some? Yes. That's a fact. That's a fact. You play the violin and the piano fluently and you'll get straight a work ethic is everything.

What else do you know? I've read a book about it. Learn a classical instrument. Do it. Well, Harvard puts a lot of, a lot of, and they just did a study on this, a lot of emphasis on sports. If you're a good athlete, you're way more likely to get in somebody who has better grades. Yeah, like that Harvard football team. Those guys are always, yeah.

So many of them go to the NFL. Yeah, and then Harvard basketball team is always in the final four. Guys, don't mock my point. All right, man. All right. Next current event. All right. You're still looking.

Do you know Cornerstone? Cornerstone Carolina? I was about to bring this up. Go ahead. Oh, this asshole. It's an older white lady who was at a liquor store. And then some little black kid walked past her. She accused him of actually grabbing her ass.

And she called the police instead of a nine-year-old. His backpack bumped her. Then she goes off him. He's crying. and she had to apologize. She did apologize. With the amount of hate these people get when they make these mistakes, they get fired from their jobs,

they can't come outside. Like, it's bad. Which is also not helpful, right? I mean, you're allowed to make a mistake and say sorry. For some of it's justified. But you're allowed to say sorry. And I think a lot of times in life, if you fuck up and you say sorry,

let's just leave it at that. Oh, I disagree. Sometimes I think they need to learn. Like the lady who called the cop on the little girl selling waters, the black girl. Yeah, some people are. assholes and there's so after she's like my bad no but it depends what what do you want do you want to never be able to earn a living again i mean some of this stuff is too no but that'd be some

real look some people deserve a second chance some people deserve the polar penalty correct polar penalty yeah and that's the scale it's from sorry to your guts uh frozen against the iceberg somewhere in between yeah somewhere i'm sure now she's okay but that other lay like called the cops on a little girl's down water she got some shit dude i think that there's not that's appropriate in some ways. You know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, I mean, obviously, there's a lot of crazy shit going on nowadays. And I think that all of this can be couched under one tenant, one, one way of being. And I know, and I'll bring it back to what we were talking about earlier.

Yeah, wrap us up. Wrap up what I'm saying right now. Just wrap up the whole. Just wrap up the whole thing. Yeah. I think what you could, I think what you could say, in general, to get through life. And I say this as a millennial and a Canadian. I'm also an American citizens, so I believe I'm able to say it here. Checking a lot of boxes. I'm also one 1,000-24 Native American. And I think you could couch this all again with this guideline. Don't be a cunt. And I'd like to announce here that myself, Brendan and Brian, will be running for the first time ever as a triad for the governor of California. Correct. And as three

dudes. We're excited about it. And that's going to be our campaign. and don't be a cunt. And it's going to be called three whites. Who are for you, though. Three whites who are also for you. For everyone. Three whites who are also for you guys. Who are also for you.

And they'll also would connote they're, of course, for the whites. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, they're very white guys. Yeah. Except for me, because I'm actually 100% Italian. That's to be. I've never seen Italian as big as you are, bro. Check out my cousins.

Go see my cousins Chiro and Claudio. Somebody, some of the women in your family tree took themselves little R&R and Samoa and came back full of, full of Samoan seed, because I happen to know a little something about the Saso women. That is that they can't get enough strange when they're in fucking Samo. That's it. Hit the fucking jock chance. All right. Hey, sign us out, Brennan. All righty then.

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