The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 416 Andrew Santino

Episode Date: February 8, 2026

Andrew Santino and the guys talk ugly redheads, famous redheads, previous door to door/cold-calling sales jobs, Santino's incredible sales pitches and accent impersonations, Bryan and Santino have an act-off, Santino's experience working with Jim Carrey, Brendan and Santino's love for Adam Sandler's comedy special, meeting fans, responding to social media comments, sex worker audits, Tyson Fury's donation and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. Don't miss out. Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show. Only at BetMGM. Access to the Price is right fortune pick is only available at BetMGM Casino. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised.

Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the honor. studios in Plyar, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live.

No, no, we're not live. That doesn't matter. Sounds better when you see. Live. But we're not live. We don't do it live, right? And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live.

Shot live. It's not live. That's a whole other thing to tell you. What's up, brother? What's up? You know, uh, Callan, suppose he's on set. He's going to be a little late today, but, um... Can I interrupt you for a second?

Please do, bro. Brian is such a piece of shit. I love a piece of shit. Dude, we texted him and I five or six times to make sure that this is confirmed. And I said, I'm so happy to be back with you guys. Sure enough, he's not here. He texts Delea and I this, no, you text Delea and I this morning. We're still on.

It's supposed to be me, you, Delea and Callin. I was checked with the guests in the morning. It's called being professional. You're a pro. I'm pro. Because Brian goes, dude, Santino DeLea tomorrow. Yep. I'm like, all right, cool, man.

I haven't heard anything about it. I talked to Chris every day. Chris hasn't mentioned it. So I'm like, Brian got this. Nope. I texted you guys, nothing. Nothing. I texted you back.

You did? And Chris goes, what? Today? Today is the day? You got to keep me a little bit more abreast. So when Callan does come in, if he does come by, we're going to knock him right in dick. We're going to knock him out.

He's stupid old dick. Do you imagine Brian can fight? Can Brian fight? He can. He's still agile. Well, he can. to switch for his age. Who would you pit him against?

Well, what other 67-year-old would you pit him against? I mean, Rogan's only 50, but Rogan would fucking destroy him. Who's somebody that he'd have a good competition fighting? Like a legit fight? Yeah, like another comic. Who would be a good fight? Because you know...

Delea? Dahlia, I think, would murder him. He would fuck him up. He's younger, he's stronger, he's big. I feel like you and Cal would fucking go at it. We'd be a good fight. He's older than me by a lot. But it would be a good. You need stick it to him I feel like. But I think Brian and I have the same kind of, um, uh, like,

we have the same kind of like, we have the same kind of like, you know, Brian's really nice and sweet, but inside deep down. He's dark, dark, dark, dark. Some would say the darkest? The darkest. You're not, I don't get a dark vibe from you. I got it in there, dude. I got a real deep down there. I got it real deep. It's just like old shit boy that boils up. Because you were picked last all the time as a kid growing up? No. No, I'm just brainstorming. Dude, I'm brainstorming. No, I'll tell you what it was. Oh, I actually know exactly what it was. When I was a kid, having red hair used to be so annoying because people would talk shit. But I would only use my hands and not my words.

I learned to use my words and be funny. But originally you would... I fought everyone that came in my way. I punched everything. I fought everybody. So then I kind of got the card of a bully, but all I was doing was defending myself. But I would punch everybody. So you, you know what?

Do you have a little bit of anger issue? A lot of it. I had to go to fucking anger management. I have a lot of anger. They kicked me out of my elementary school or whatever. Slugger Santino. That's what one of the teachers said. Slugger Santino.

That's what the nun said. I was in a Catholic school. They kicked me out. You didn't name your next special slugger Santino. Yeah, because I fought too many kids. Wow. But it was validated because they were roasting you on your right here. Yeah, so they would say, you know, fire crotch or...

Standard. What was the other one that was really good? Tomato face. Tomato face, yeah. Pizza Boy. Yeah, it was just like whatever, whatever shit they could come up with. So when you're that young, most people don't think that you're going to punch them. They think you'll push them or you'll yell at them or whatever.

I would just punch people as hard as I could. Well, I feel like most kids, especially if you're getting roasted, are going to punch so hard as they could. Because you're not going to dissect someone with your words. Yeah, but you know most people don't want to fight. That's something you know. Don't you know that? Most people in this world try to avoid fighting. Now especially.

How old are you? 35. Yeah, with the exact same age. But back when I was a kid, most problems were solved with your fist. But it wasn't a big deal. No, you just got over it.

I didn't get suspended for weeks or nothing like that. Like the teacher was like, what happened? I'm like, he was making fun of my mom. So me and him started wrestling and I punched him in the faith. Like, all right,

you're in detention, you're here. The good days. It was a good old day. Yeah, when you didn't have to worry about it. I remember. You about being redhead these days. Please.

Well, knives guns. It's gonna be a beast. Knives. C.S. I think people use real shit now. People are going to use real weapons now when they fight. can do.

Thank you, dude, because most of them are fucking repulsed. They're so ugly. When I see redheaded people, I know. And they look at me as if to say like, hey, I'm also a redhead. I look away. I go, no, no, no, no. I know. You're not.

Fuck my whole day up. Nope, we're different people. It ruins my day. We're different people. Now imagine being that shitty redhead in school. Oh, yeah. Not being a dime piece because there's some hot ones. Yeah, there's some, well, chicks mostly.

That's what I'm saying. It's almost all girl. That was good looking dude. But Canello is, but Canello has got that spice. He's got that Mexican spice. Yeah. But his skin looks like a vampire. It does.

But he's still, because of the Mexican, it still helps a lot. True. And he's shitted. But what I'm saying is, imagine me in a redhead kid who doesn't look like the slug or Santino or Canelo. And gets picked on. And gets picked on and he gets picked on and then goes home and you get bullied online. Oh, boy. And there's meme.

Redhead memes. Flying tomato fucking freckle face. Can you believe that there's a kick of ginger day that still exists? I think the government sanctioned it. I don't even know what the day is. Do you know what the kick of ginger day is? I don't, but I'll check it out. It's an official day that people.

publicly online. Nobody gives us credit for being a minority that gets picked up. Who's the most famous? Ginger? Flying tomato? I mean, I would say there's so many different levels of it. I would say, like, the most famous comedians of all time that are famous are Burr and Louis. They're both redheads. Both redheads. What anger of redhead. Or Caratops ass, who, oddly enough, is extremely famous. People can say what they want. He's killing it. Yeah, he kills it in Vegas. Someone went to a show to me who's actually good. He kills it. He's doing something, right? Yeah, but what he's doing is he's found a market that he stuck with. No one else stuck with that.

He's found a niche that works for him. Yeah, it's great. And then who else is the most famous redheads? I'm trying to think of like, football players? Well, there's a bunch of them, dude. Dalton. Carson Wentz? I mean, um... Are you trying to clean Carson Wentz? Isn't he kind of? He's like an Auburn? Bring up Carson Wentz. So it's sorry, Gordon. Andy Dalton is. Huh? November 20th. November 20th, the kick of the kicker day. So it's coming up. No, no, we passed it. I missed it. I

I don't even know what fucking date it is. Next year, brother, I'll kick you. Next year. You kick me, please. Carson Wentz. No, Carson Palmer. Oh, Carson Palmer's redhead. He's a redhead. Wentz is not. Don't try and claim Wentz.

No, I won't. Look at Carson Palmer, he's a redhead, right? It's hard to tell. Auburnish. Oh, God. Yeah, not really. Andy Dalton is a redhead. See that?

Yeah, no, see right there. See, it kind of looks. He's a redhead. He's a red beard. Andy Dalton is a redhead. Andy Dalton, anyone, really good, though? Oh, come on.

No, not really. There's no really good redhead. I can't think of any one. There's never been a pro redheaded basketball player, I don't think. Not that I can think of one. There's like the tall seven footers, but they're never very good. No, no, no, no. There's a couple of redheads

in the NBA. Do I've been Redheads NBA from a chin? I guess we could... But yeah, comedy got... You, piece of shit. You... Oh my God. Look what he's wearing. By the way, I took over your chair. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. Yeah, dude, and that's not appropriate.

Yes, it is, Brigh. No, it's not, Andrew. What time were we supposed to start this whole thing? You know what, dude? I'm shooting my TV show, which is why I'm wearing my awesome outfit. You wanted to wear that. Yeah, you did. Your call is until 5 p.m. today. That's not true, dude. Yes, it is, dude.

You're just like wearing that around town because you want people to ask you. Correct. Hey, were you the guys from the, I saw you on the trailer on ABC? Correct. He still rocks a mad TV shirt. Yep. I'm fresh from the set. Really?

And I'm still a little emotional. Do you have makeup on? Is that a hangover jacket? Are you just rocking all your shit that you've done? No, I have to wear this because I, it's very cold. And it's, you know, it's the middle of December, practically. So I. And you guys are outside?

It's the beginning of December. You know, but the stage is very cold. They keep it very cold. These are TV things that you guys don't know a lot about because I don't do cable to do network TV. Is that, are you taking a shot? Excuse me? Well, you know what, let's, let me take a shot. I saw your, I know you are.

I saw your trailer for this on ABC last night and I was going to congratulate you, but you were in it. You were barely in it. So it said school. I know what? It said school. It showed a chick. Chicken Tim Meadows. It's the chick show, bro.

That's the main trailer. That's one show. Main trailer. Main trailer. Don't say the main trailer. You're the third lead. You're the third lead. You're the third lead.

You're the third lead. Number two on the call sheet. Number three. Get out of the seat. Hot girl, Tim Meadows, Brian Callick. Take your 195 pound red. Hot girl. 197 and a half.

Real quick. I've been hitting. Hot girl. We all know. Hot girl, check. Check. Tim Meadows. Definitely know.

Checks on that live. Uh-uh. Ladies man. Uh-uh. Brian Callin. Brian Callan. Third. Hey, when you go do pictures for that, when you go do pictures for, for press, you know,

when you're on the, when you're on the step and repeat, they go, Tim Meadows, Tim Meadows. And the girl, they go, uh, whatever her name is. AJ, AJ, AJ, AJ, and they go, this way, this way, right this way, right this way. Get out of the shot. Get out of the shot. Let's go. Hey, Tim Meadows, come back. Tim Meadows. Did they let background do these? Did they let background do these? True story. Wow. All the extras on the...

You sit there now because you're late. I can't sit there. I simply can't. I'm going to have to ask you. You think you can, I see you're posturing. You're posturing, but you're bringing... Right, sit down. You look good.

You look real good. Do you know I say Santino's a big kid? One... Look at his cockatiel in those things. Get over here. I don't know. Shake my hand. I don't know if I just...

Shake my hand. With a dick. Ah! God damn it. Sit out. You're tight. Take your fucking iPhone 10. Ten. Ten.

This is the X. Is that the X? Do you like it? They gave it to me, though. They gave it to me. Oh, come on, Andrew. They gave it to me. They gave it. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. I got friends in high places. Oh, my God. This outfit is so nice. Well, my people should see this. Paul, let's stay standing up real quick. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I wear this outfit. I wear this outfit every single day. Look who showed up. Whoa. We get the rump rump on this man. Wow. Thanks for coming, Bri. Thanks for it. No, this is my podcast. No. And don't. And by the way, I want to I want to say this about Santino. It's the fighter and the slugger.

He just invited himself on. I get a text and goes, hey, dude, I'll see you December 5. Yep. I'm coming on the podcast. Because we were on here. I was talking about how funny you launched a new podcast. It's talking about your logo on here. Not a big deal.

We talked about it. I said, we've got to get you on. Thank you. Well, you're welcome for probably boosting your numbers immediately. Thank you so much for letting me come, Shab. And thank you so much for coming to my podcast with Shab. No. You're late.

It's a new podcast, bro. Let's talk about this, though. Yeah. Yeah, I asked you to come. back on. I said, I'm going to come back on. You know why? Yeah. Because all of the fans, and you guys' fans are the shit. Yeah. I love all your fans. Yeah. And they say, oh, you know, Dulia guest of the year. Theo. Theo.

Theo, guest of the year, that whole thing. I've only done this one time, and my one time was better than all of the times those guys have done. They did love you. That's a fact. And I'm going to say this. Let me say something. I've heard Theo. Hey, man, look. I've heard him. I've heard him. I've heard him a lot. Yeah. Done. Done. Now, hold on. Done. Hold on, bro. Oh, man, my dad lives in a sewer. Done. No, no, that's not a...

Yeah, man, he used to eat rat tails. Done. Okay, don't... Done. That's a... Man, you're so... I'm done. You know why?

Why? Because my name wasn't in the conversation at all, and then someone put something online that said, what about Santino? And Theo came after me. He did? Yeah. He's very protective of this.

He's very protective of this. I never said I wanted the belt. Well, I'll say this. But now that he's running after me? Now I've created this. Come on, let's go. Brendan can attest to this. Our fans,

are unforgiving and have, they basically like very few. I told Brian, I told Brian. Now listen, we got different guests. Now listen, we've been doing podcasts for this prior 800 episode, even though it only says whatever foreign. We've probably been podcasts for a long as time, right? We've had our ups and downs. The last few weeks, we've had some tough guest.

And here's what I tell Brian. We like our guests. It's just that the fans have a specific, but the thing is, who are the guests? Brian, they didn't, they didn't shit on anybody. The point is that our fans are very particular about who they really like. Here's what I say. Here's what I say. If you're not good on this show, same as if you go on a lot of other shows, but for a reason, we have this loyal fan base.

If you're bad on here, it's going to hurt you more than it's going to help. Definitely. No one's buying tickets to your show. No one's falling in your podcast. So how you stuck around the show for so long? No, that's not. No, no, no, no, it's not. It's not. Don't do that.

We're roasting up in. Br-br-br-br-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bbbbbh. Oh, dude, it was a big burn. No, it was a big burn. I thought it's-rasty in here. That's so... Hey, Ben. By the way, I get so many messages from your fans that go,

dude, you and Shab together, what a killer combination. No, that's what they say. They go, dude, you guys are so good. And they go, they go, shab is fucking, he's, like, so personal and lovable and cool and good-looking. And you're so funny and sweet and awesome and smart. And then Brian also is sometimes around. and it's part of the show and what a cool trio

One guy just sent me a meme over this plane going this is Brian every podcast No I don't like that And don't shoot the sky with fake guns It really makes me angry Stop! Oh God

Does that make you mad? Yes, man You look really good Thank you, buddy Hey man, all that money And they still gave you Reeboks By the way my psoriasis is gone Look at that shit

Is it done? Thank you Dan Garner 88 at Gmail You had psoriasis Dude I work with this guy Dan Garner Help me with that. I had to bring it up.

Sorry. But he brought it up. He changed my life. I have cirrhosis. Tell what you did. Of the liver. No, he helped me out. Change my gut biome.

How did you get psoriasis? Is that from... It's stress, but also there's an imbalance in your gut. What they're finding is a lot of autoimmune diseases, lupus, all kinds of stuff, might be, rheumatoid arthritis might be an imbalance in your gut. And here's the other thing. He's old. Yeah.

When you get old. How many medications are you on? I mean... I'm not on any! So every day you take, what, seven or eight pills? No. How many pills do you think you're taking there? Just to get rolling in the board.

I take. Talk about the stupid stretches you do before you get it. I take, I do my yoga. I do my yoga. What position is your favorite? Which is why my energy on a fourth march, you both, you both are straggling. You know that. On what?

What? Hold on, hold on. Well, let's be honest. I run six to seven miles every single day. I know, bro. Let's get out there. See him on the streets, bro. See him on the street, bro.

See me. The only thing about me is the only thing about me. See what on the street to know. And I get it and I give you both a great. No, no, you're talking to him. Don't this energy is this way. No, no, I'm giving it to you too because I'm going to tell you why. You're giving it to me too?

Listen, I'm going to be careful. I'm going to fuck up your crooked team. Just listen, you guys are big and strong and God bless your sports and all that stuff. Yeah. Now listen. Cool good guys. Now listen, hold on. I got two things going on and it's not a big deal. What is it?

Not your hair line. Hold on. Got cold in here. My mind, I can shut my mind off and I know what to think about what not to think about. I can compartmentalize like nobody's business. That's okay. That's okay. You guys are young.

Now, hold on. And here's the other thing. Strong mind you're saying? Here's what? Strong mind? Well, I mean, if I got to shut it off and then turn another part of a brain on, then then that's what happens. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Because why? Why? Why? Well, been getting ready for that moment my whole life. Your whole life. That's okay. Had more practice.

Been in the ring longer than you guys in life. Longer ring. You've been in the ring a long. a long time. Hold on the back when it was twine. No, no, no. Longer than any of them.

Back when it was just like handmade rope, that's when you've been in the rain. I'll give him that. Yeah. For sure. When they're fighting basically oven mitts. On the floor. There wasn't any,

there wasn't any, any canvas. And there's every, like the ring, by ring, you mean the crowd? Like it was the Donnybrook. And there was just a bunch of chickens

and you're like walking around. Before plastics came along and refrigeration. Now listen. Nice. Before refrigeration of plastics. Now listen to me. The other thing, my body's built for one thing.

And it's not a big deal. So I'll give you the mind control. Check. It's built. My body's built. To bear down. And when I got to bear down, I'm bearing down. But give us an example, bro.

You guys have so much to move around. Give us an example. And you're so good. And you're at the front of the pack. But when it comes down to actually the long march, when the fight goes into round 15 and 16, and that happens at life. It's very old school. It's very old school.

Well, they only do 12 now. in life sometimes. It's been 12 for quite a while, Dad. When the cartel captures our bus and says, you guys are going to be, we haven't slept, we haven't eaten, we haven't had any water, and now they give us hammers, and they go, you guys are going to fight it out, and the winner

joins the cartel? You think you're going to beat us with hammers? The thing is, you guys... I don't know what round it is, Dad. It ain't happening. Call me, Dad. Hey! Hey! Hey! What the fuck was that? Papa, Papa, Papa, please. Papa, please. Don't call me. Papa, please. Call me, Dad.

Papa, Papa, don't. Papa, no. Papa, your heart. Papa, your ticker, don't do this, Papa. You know what happens when your ticker gets all jibbitty-jumpity? Papa, please. Chippity jump-in-y. Papa, please.

Papa, last time we had to take you to the hospital and you were there for weeks and weeks because your ticker. Look at the floor, boy, I got to take you out with this hammer. Look at the floor. Look at the floor. You go to sleep. Let's put it this way. Let's say we all jump into the ocean, B.

Let's say we all jump in that freezing cold ocean. There you go. style. There you think comes out alive. The water breaks me down. There you. I knew that was his week.

You're fine. The cold breaks me down. I knew it. At the end of the day, I need my sleep and I need my cold. Cold and water? The cold turns me into a coward. So, okay, so you're fucked during any kind of war scenario. Outside.

Unless you're in Iraq, buddy. I'm not good with the cold. World War III comes along. Although when I was in the Missouri breaks, I was hunk and my feet went numb and I couldn't walk. Yeah, now the cold will break anybody down. No. You, I feel like you can, you can kind of conserve heat for a while.

You're probably built for the. Did you hear what he just said? Do you know what that just was? That was a shot. Conserve heat is like a fat. That's a fat joke thing. That's a fat joke thing. I'm just saying.

Is that a fat joke thing? Your kidneys are always warmer than mine. That's all I'm saying. That's a consumption of fat thing. That's what that is. That's a fucking attack. Yeah, that's a dig, bro. There's a subcutaneous layer.

That's all. In the water. Well, I'll say this. If we all die, you'd be the last person we'd eat. That's right, you skinny fucking bitch. There's nothing. There's nothing to eat there, dude. Look at how garbage this meat would be.

Horrible. It's horrible. No, because it's been... You're those dry rubbed ribs. That's what your body is. My body's made for fucking... It's made to get to crunch down and fucking take the onslaught. You're an outbacked steakhouse steak.

That's what this would be. Real shit meat. Andrew, stay down. Andrew, control your breathing. Breathe with me. Come on. It's okay. We are going to die, but don't worry.

Hey, what's the worst, like, cheapest food at the North Korean... At the North Korean barbecue. Just Korean barbecue. What's the cheap? What's the cheapest North Korean barbecue they've got? Wow. Wow. I apologize, guys.

Even Chin did a spake tank. Yeah, I got nervous about it. I was like, uh-oh. Yeah, we'll figure it out. What's the worst, cheapest, shittiest food you need? Well, the cheapest one is called chado, but it's actually delicious. What's it called? Chadoer.

That is you, though. You're chado. You aren't delicious, but you are cheap and gross. No, you got to spice me up a lot. You're cheap and gross, but you're delicious. You've got to beat my meat against a rock because it's, you got to beat it against a rock because it's... Can you imagine Brian, Brian dies? You've got his arms, I have his legs.

and we're just beating his body against a rock to break down his meat. You know what's weird? Yeah, I can. That would work. So, so I mean, so I mean. Break down all your little fragile bones because, you know, those are old bones. Don't say a fragile. There's no calcium left.

No, there is. No way. I bet you if I kicked your leg right now, I'd break it. No. I'd swear to God I would break it. No, no, you wouldn't. Even when you check, I'd break on the check. No, watch.

You get it and you hear this. I do that. See, I think you'd hear this. B. I'd hear this. Nope. I go and you go, oh, my foot. Top of my foot.

chin that has no feeling left? I got no feeling left everywhere. Hey, B. I'm dead, dude. Guess who started a podcast? Yeah, I know. Guess who, did you, I hate to be shitty here, Andrew. Did you give him the okay to start a podcast? Didn't know.

Did you, I didn't either. I didn't. It's weird. Yeah, you know what, swore we run this town. Yeah. And by town, I mean podcast. And if we want to turn people against your podcast, All I got to do is float a couple rumors.

Here's the button right here. Is that the button? Yeah. Let me tell you a couple of reasons why you shouldn't push that button. Hold on. All right, I'm a listen. First of all, always been a fan and a friend of you, Shab. You know that.

Say no more. Second of all. Hey, hey. I'm good in negotiating. Second of all, I'll pay the piper. You've always been kind to me. I'll pay the piper. I'll pay the piper.

I know you run the block. I'll come give you a little how you do you. I don't do what I'm supposed to do I'm doing what I'm supposed to do And maybe wet our beak a little bit You don't need to talk talk talk No no I know I know Come on, let the wind blow

I know who's town this is I know who runs the shit Okay I'm not ignorant I'm arrogant but I'm not ignorant Hey shop Take your finger off the button I just did

All right we're back It's good to be in business with you baby Yeah we're back I can fucking talk in anything I know man I know I'm salesman Hey I'll sell you

something. What's your least favorite food on earth? I mean, for me, I can't stand tongue. Beef tongue? Beef tongue is disgusting. I hate olives. I could never eat it. Olives? I'm going to pitch both you at the exact same time because I've been selling beef tongue and olives for about 26 years now. Wow. Town to town selling olives and beef. You're a purveyor of olives and tongue? Well, sometimes I do stuffed olives with tongue, beef tongue. We do stuffed olives. There's no way I can eat that, dude. Let me tell you why. We marinated it for four and a half hours in virgin.

virgin push juice yeah virgin push juice wow delicious it's good for your health it's good for your eyes yeah regrows your bones and your body

it's incredible yeah we've been testing it for about six or seven months now everybody we've tested does it put muscle on you probably not absolutely does you know Chris Dealia you know who that guy is

a comedian comedian comedian yeah the short black guy no no version of me bust yeah but big with real muscles

like real honest man muscle he never used to look like that oh wow nope it's from your beef tongue olives? It's from our beef tongue olives. Your stuff. Your stuff.

Our beef, beef tongue olives. Why are you pushing? Well, it's from female beef, beef, beef, beef olive, beef, beef, beef, tongue, tongue beef, tongue beef, tongue beef, pound beef. Oh, so it's cow con. They're called beefy kong, kong, olives. Now, is it.

We sell them in most Korean markets. I was just going to say, they're all of, it's all of stuff with cow kong kong kong. It's all stuffed with cow kunt and that would be. Cow chung kunt. It's cow tongue kong kong kong kong. Kank tongue. Kank tongue. There it sounds.

I'm kind of in. And can I tell you a whole jar of this thing? Five bucks. You got so much money. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Five bucks. So I just think give it a world. What do you think?

You want to buy them for that? How many jars? Two or three? Let me start you with 10 and we'll go from there. All right. Sold. Do you see what just happened? Did you ever sell anything like that growing up?

Any side gigs? This is insane. When I was in high school, my senior year, I got a job at a telemarketing. Found out like an ad in the paper. Come in 20 bucks an hour when I was in high school. Great money. Ballin. money. All I had to do was make cold calls and sell window washing, power washing, air duct

cleaning. That's a tough gig though. Oh, not for old, not for old ginger. Not for old Sliger there. Best liar in the game. Best liar in the game. Really? I would beat out adults who needed that money to like feed their families. I got a bonus every single fucking month. When I went away to college, those guys were so mad. They gave me a thousand dollars to like, hey, congrats. You helped us out so much. Jesus Christ. Damn. Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Ready? Yeah. Hello. Hey, how are you doing, Mr. Callan? How are you today? Who is this? Oh, sorry about that. My name is Andrew. I'm working for this company.

We're actually doing your neighbor's house right now. Well, we just need access to his house through your yard. Do you mind? Mr. Johnson, your next to our neighbor, who you know very well. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he spoke very highly of you, by the way. He actually said that new car that you just got. He's a little jealous, that and your wife.

So we need access to his house through your yard. Yeah, that's absolutely fine. That's fine, too, we're doing his air ducts because, good God, you wouldn't believe the amount of dust and pollen that's getting stuck in these air ducts these days. I mean, we're doing his for super cheap because he's a friend of ours, and we'll be there for about, you know, I don't know, half a day on Tuesday. Should we just bounce over to your house? You know what?

Have you had your air ducts cleaned recently or no? I've never had my air ducts. You've never had them cleaned. Ever in my life. Oh my God. And a good-looking guy like you with a beautiful wife like you've got him. And you guys want to live for a long time. You want to be making love for years and years to come because I can tell, you know,

a young strapping beautiful man like you. We need people like you on this earth to procreate. So let me tell you something. I'm going to run over to your house. I'm going to clean your air ducts at half the cost. Half the cost of what I was going to charge. Wow. Yeah, only because you know Mr. Johnson.

And he's just such a good dude and he said a lot of good things about you. So half the cost will be over at noon on Tuesday. We'll be done then. Does that sound good? Great. I'm going to put in the work order right now. All right. Have a good day, Mr. Callan.

Bye-bye. Wow. Dude, you have a fucking good. I got clean air ducts and I'm going to fuck my wife. You're going to fuck. I'm going to fucking clean air. I would do that. I was 17 years old and I would do that and I would sell.

You're fucking good at it, man. I remember to this day, I sold $7,000 worth of air duct cleaning, power washing and window watching. $7,000. I was away with your words, sir. Oh, shit. Now I sold supplements door to door, like pursuit of happiness. Didn't go as well.

That's so hard when they see you. Your face is hard. It's easier to, and this is back in the day when people had house phones anyway. You can't sucker people on cell phones anymore. They're trying, though. House phones is kind of like, hey, what are you doing? And it's usually a guy on his couch watching TV in Chicago. And he's like, dude, I don't have time for this.

And you're like, no, it's fine. I just need access. I need you to say yes to be on your property. Yeah. What are you doing on my property? No, no, I'm on your neighbor's property. I just, if we're accessing the back, we don't want you to be disturbed. We don't want, if you have animals, we just want to make sure that we're not bothering you or your family.

And they go, what do you do? What's he doing? Yep. Oh, he's just getting his windows wash. I mean, he hasn't as, why, why? Well, actually, there can be slight, you know, cracks and chips that come in the winter because of the, you know, different windchills. So we're going to clean his windows because actually the debris causes more damage to them than you have to get all new windows. And that's thousands of dollars.

Anyway, I'm going to let you go. That's so good. Dude, you're so good. I sold Time Life Books over the phone for a summer. that didn't go as well. No. No. Sell me.

You get a list of things. Nightmare. Sell me a book, Brian. I would basically go, how are you? Is this Mr. Santino? Yeah, it's me. Mr. Santino, Time Life Books here. I don't know if you're interested in cooking, but we have an amazing special on 10 books.

Oh, my God. I'm out. I hung up. Try selling supplements. I would drive. Your first pitch was, I don't know if you're interested in cooking. I don't know if you're interested in cooking. Hanging up right then.

Yeah, definitely not. I don't even wait a half a deal. I can't remember. Nope. I can't remember. Are you a man with food who likes it? Click. My manager.

Nope. My manager was so good. He'd go like this. He'd go, how are you this evening? Yeah? Can I ask you a question? He'd go, write it up. And he'd already sold.

Wow. And he was, he hit it up. Dude, I would go door to gyms, right? In houses, I'd go to, in the gyms like shitty gyms with, like, soccer moms. And I'd get with the manager. I'd have, like, a whole briefcase full of supplement. and I'd say, see that lady over there? One percent, so funny.

You go, one percent better is going to make her a better boxer. One percent. You take this, she's one percent better. And he'd be like, I sold nothing. He's a soccer mom. She does not give a fuck about your one percent. She needs to learn how to fight. They don't get a fuck.

I'd be like, and I'd name off all these fighters or NFL guys who used it. He's like, I don't, dude, these kids are like 13. I get that. But if Dion Sanders, took this, wouldn't it help this kid? Like, no, get the fuck out of here. There was a guy at Hensa Gracie's school back in the day who was selling, he was a bodybuilder, but he also was selling supplements, like minerals and stuff.

You mean steroids? And I remember him going, I remember him saying something like, you know, I'm trying to get Hensor to take some of these minerals because these things will make you 40% better. Now, think about how great Hensw is. Can you imagine him 40% better? That's not possible. I remember looking at him going, the fuck is the guy. How can I compete with that?

See, I went in as a professional athlete, former professional athlete going one percent better. You're not getting any money from anyone. 40%. You got to say 40%. You know, you got to say 100%. You said, I used to be. You're still a professional athlete. You don't think that?

Oh, you know, you know these statistics? You don't think that it stays with you? You don't think you're always a professional athlete once you were? Yeah. I mean, I'm not competing. I'm not in that race anymore. But to get to that pinnacle level, you are forever a professional athlete. I guess.

I guess I use some into what I do now. comedy and podcasting. No, but you will always be a professional athlete. To get there is impossible. What you did is impossible. Yeah. It's impossible. It's impossible.

Interesting. Think about that. I think so. I never thought about it. Like the extremely minute population of professional fighters. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Compared to the seven and a half billion people. Mm-hmm. You were one that was known successful. Mm-hmm. And then when you're done, doesn't mean you're, that doesn't discount what you did. Well, I said this to him the other day. You're always going to be a professional athlete. So here's what I said to him the other day.

So we were talking about. So we were talking about how, you know, sometimes he's been doing stand-up for not that long. Yeah. Sometimes people go, well, you know, you kind of jump the line a little bit because you're friends with all these people and stuff. You mean life? Yeah. You mean how life works? I said to him, I said, and he goes, I know that.

And I said, hold on. I said, well, you're, you, when you say you jumped the line, because your friends are Rogan and myself and everybody else who've been doing stand-up for 15, 20 years. Okay. But I, and I know your road to get here was really easy because you played. football and then you you became a professional fighter and went through the the ultimate fighter and got punched in the face by monsters and won and lost that that eight years say what you will what that eight years was was not only experience you're drawing from and talking about on stage but that was a motherfucker talk about paying your dues yeah and and what happened was you came in with people

like me and rogan and we knew who you were and we loved you and we loved you for what you were able to do. And oh, by the way, the biggest thing was you were funny. You were making us laugh when you were telling stories. So if anybody wants to take that route, if you call that jump in the line, go ahead. If you want to take the route of becoming a professional fighter, you know, that's the thing that people don't realize. It's like it is.

It's such a motherfucker. The reason I brought it up is because we, I was at the comments where we went a circle and this girl, we all know, she goes, we're talking about something. You can say her name? No. We wrote. I can't say her name as soon as you're done telling the story. Okay, thank you.

And so we're talking about something, and we're talking about venues. And I was talking about one that was terrible. And we're talking about open mics. And I see, I've done a few, but, you know, my first open mic was the live fine,

and the kid, 1,400 people, whatever. And she goes, yeah, but, you know, you had a shortcut in comedy. Everybody knows that. And I think most people thought I would defend it, but I went,

no, you're 100% correct. 100% correct. The reason I sell tickets because the podcast, the reason I sell tickets because, you know, rogue and Brian, that's, that's, But she drives me crazy when people say it, though.

But also when, yeah. It drives me crazy only because the shortcut was us doing fighter than a kid and figuring out ways to bring it on the road. Why do people, why do people play that game? Why do people play that game where they go, the only reason that you is because of XYZ? By the way, it's a flawed argument because I hear that all the time. People use that in every other instance. It's not just this. Everything.

It's like saying when some bozo goes, well, the only reason she's fucking him is because he's rich. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's attractive. Correct. What was the perfect scenario for you to be happy about how these people?

Bang the brookai, who you have to go Dutch with at Denny. Yeah. Can you split this? Yeah. It's $8.99. I will say that, I will say, and I don't mean this to be shitty. I will say that I truly believe that the reason you are working a lot. You're talking to Andrew?

Because you have red hair. I mean, I want to say that. I hate to say it. But let's be honest. They got to check boxes. I'm not saying you're not talented. No, they got to check boxes, though. I don't think you'd be working or be, I don't think you'd be doing a lot of stand-up.

Don't get mad, bro. Dude, take it easy. Brain! Dude, dude, take it easy. Don't get bad, bro. Dude, I'm talented. I'm smart. I'm hard working.

I'm on every single night in my fucking life. You think it's the fucking red hair. I'll shave this fucking red hair off. I'll still get more work than you. Brian, don't you even start with me right now, okay? Just because you're on a spin-off of the Goldberg's on school and it's going to do very well, which I'm proud of you for, and I would never down you for that. Don't take away my ability, my hard work, my ethic.

I have nothing in this business. I came here with no money. I have no family. I'm not Jewish. I made it alone. I made it alone, Bri. Okay, I know that. Don't you dare.

Dude, you're turning the key on the red Ferrari. You want to fucking rev me out? Because I will burn out all over this fucking place. I misspoke. I misspoke. Fire him up, bro. No, I didn't. Fire him up, man.

God, you know better because I've earned this. No, I know you've. Aren't you. Did you earn your position in this game? I did with regular hair. Here's the thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, don't get mad. Andrew, Andrew. Regular hair. No, I'm just saying.

Regular hair. Well, Red, everybody knows that a ginger has, I see you right away. You do, you do pop. Yeah, I pop. Yeah. And I stand out. And guess what? I have to deliver harder.

When they see your normal looking hair ass on stage, they just go, this is just a normal, goofy looking fucking white guy. Don't say goofy. Well, you are goofy looking. There's no doubt. Who says goofy? Those ears have been bowing out a little bit as we've gotten older. Like doors, like car doors that are open.

No doubt. Yeah, they've been bowing out a little bit more. Don't say bowing. I think you should pin them back. You should tie floss from one side to the other and pull them back at night. No, that is a procedure you're doing. Bowen out. Yeah, you should.

You're like, let's say, for whatever reason. Let's say Finn was born with huge ears. Well, he is. The son never hits his face. Okay. Well, I'm glad you said that he can find his way with echolocation. Let's say it looks like dumbbo. Let's say it's a way with echo location.

You know what? You know they can't. They snip it and clip it and pull it back. Really? It looks normal. So kids don't get bullied anymore. So they see you on stage. You can also die kids.

You could dye your hair. But they see you on stage and they go, let's see what this fucking regular Joe Shmo has to do. You come up there with some of your, you know, jokes, whatever. No, no. Some of them are good. I watched actually a couple nights ago and I thought, wow, that's better than I, you know, used to be. Okay. And you, and you sling your jokes and they go, good.

Yeah, I'm glad he was good. But he's normal. I get up there and they go, pf. What is this guy got? What is this guy going to? Oh, is it a redhead guy? And then I fucking murder. And they go, wow.

Yeah. Wow. He overcame something. Do you have any redhead jokes? Not really. No. You never bring attention to the fact that. No, you know why Burr said something to me years and years ago about it?

I think he had. They say don't do redhead jokes. He inadvertently said don't do redhead stuff. How much Italian? I think he was like, why? I think I had asked him or something stupid. It's almost too on the nose, huh? I was just insecure as fuck when I had first, like, even talked to him.

and I was like, whatever. And then I think I had said, I don't want to do that. I did like maybe a redhead had a joke. And then he was like, why, well, you don't need to.

Why does, why do you care? It was something along those lines. I don't remember the exact, but it made me think about, because he doesn't do it. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. And he's Dumro Uno.

Are you, are you, Italian and Irish? Half, half, Italian and Irish. Siciliano. Me too. But see, the difference is, I look, I look Irish.

Yeah. And I've got the body and the cock of an Italian. I don't know. You look like a little tiny Swedish boy. You look like a little Swedish boy. In this outfit, maybe. A little tiny little. I'm a brianicaylan.

Yeah, they're tiny little people. I'm a Irish guy. I'm a Brianna Kaelan. That's an Irish. No, and I, no. It's a terrible Swedish guy. This is clearly Irish man. Well, dude, that's Irish.

That's Jamaican. No, this is an Irish guy. That's so Jamaican, dude. This is Irish. Okay. Welcome to Ireland. No, that's, no. Blom.

Blom. Blom. Just kidding you said. Blomblomblum. Blom. Welcome to the island of Ireland man. Ireland. No, that's...

Come over get some fish and chips and fruit and salad. No, see, that's... Falafel. This is Ireland. No, that sounds so... Flawful. Fish and chips, fruit, salad. Cousous on the island of Ireland.

No, that sounds so Jamaican. It's not even close to Jamaican. Island... Here we go, it is a Jamaican accent. You want a Jamaican. Hey, I'm Jamaican. I'm a big black Jamaican guy. Everyone knows I'm Jamaican.

That's Jamaican. That's super Australian. You are so bad with dialects. You don't know. I don't... I already... I studied it. In college, dude, I did dialectical research.

That was one of my focuses. What was your major in college? Journalism and English. Journalism, major, English, focus, and I had a dialectic subset. I did two and a half years of learning dialects around the world. Name a place and I can do it. Maori. Maori.

You want Maori? Yeah. Okay. Welcome to this neighbor. I, I, I, I, put a, no, but I'm a poor you on. that she and you didn't understand the language because I was also

doing some that's that's the best marry XI'm ever Give him another one Go ahead Give me another one Okay okay Russian

Yeah Easy Russian Russian is probably Probably one of my favorites To be honest with you Russian's easy Russian goes Oh

I don't You want to eat You want to eat You want to eat Fish with us Or do you want to go And your separate ways Because dinner is mad

Okay now I have to say I'm sorry Now, look, I don't take this the wrong way, but that does sound a little bit French. Well, you're going, you're talking out of here. Do you want me to get out of here? Give him some more, B. Okay, take it easy.

Take it easy. All right. Can I hear. Please. And don't make it. Okay. Don't make it. Can I hear Japanese?

Easy. Japanese is probably one of my favorite ones to do. All right. I have to get prep for it. Ready? Yeah. Get your mind right. Ooh, ay, puppy.

You know, you know, no. to do this with me. I want to dance on your lap and maybe check him my pussy pussy pussy. Okay, bro, I have to stop you. I have to stop you. Because it's so good. Did you just get transformed like you were back in Tokyo, Japan?

Sounds so fucking Spanish. Dude, that sounds hard. Very sad. You guys are so wrong. Maybe I am. I'm telling you you're wrong. I went to a fucking school for dialectical research. Maybe we're off.

I don't know. Maybe we're off. Did you go to college? Did you go to college? Did you go to college? I went to American University. In D.C.? Yeah.

That's a really good school. I know it is. What was your major? History. Economics. History? And then it was history. Economics and history.

Well, it was economics and I switched over to history. When was the War of 1812? That's a good question. In the 1800s sometimes. That is a good school. Where did you go, shop? Thank you. University of Colorado.

Boulder. Don't ask you. Great school. You know what? Hooked up with a girl there left a watch there. Hooked up with a two when I was in college. It's hard to find in Boulder. Dude, had myself a nice, delicious.

just big piece of two. Were you on the hill? Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy. I don't know how I found her. I mean, she wasn't hard to find. Hooked up with her, left my watch there. Nice watch. Fossil.

Poor kid, bad watch. Never had nice stuff. Fossil, yeah. You didn't grow up with money. No money. Had no money. I made all my own money. Wow.

Left the watch there. And I needed it. That's how bad. Went over to the two's house the next day. Embarrassed. What'd you have to do? Watch, walk a shame. I had to kiss her again and do all that stuff.

But you were glad to get your watch back. I needed that. Now look at you because that this is a way better watch. If I left this watch over there today, like if I left this nice watch, leave it. Do you think about money? Because I got money now. Do you think about money? Do I think about it?

Do you think what is, yeah, what part of your brain? None. I don't think about it. You don't. Because you've had no money so you're not afraid of not having money. Yeah, it's fine. Because some people are afraid. I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid because I know that I'm going to keep climbing in this business and keep working hard to do well. Because if I don't and if it fails, okay. I'll just go back home and just go do some bullshit but I know it won't happen because you know why? Why? Too good, too good.

Okay, man. Don't be, what are you doing? I agree with them there. What are you doing? What are you doing? Dude. Do you give us money? What is that? What are those 20s?

It's a bunch of hundreds. Oh, wow. But you know what's so funny? I have a ton of them. And sometimes So just for fun, You collect them? I don't, no.

You know, I have, I got them and then sometimes I'll go around town. Give them away? No, I'll bury them. Just as like a gift for someone to maybe find. That's cool, man. It's like a charity thing. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Sometimes I'll drive in my super fast car and I'll drive by like a skid road downtown. And I'll stop and I'll go, uh, do you, who wants one of these? You know, a hundred dollar bill. Yeah, they'll freak out. You know, yeah, yeah. And I eat it.

And I flick them off and I get the fuck out of it. That's so mean. Why? Because you're rubbing in their face. Sometimes I wipe my ass with hundreds. Yeah. And I put in a Ziploc, like a bunch of a bag of poo hunters. And then I go, and I go to old, to like old homeless people, like sad, cold, you know.

Some soup, you know? And I smack them in the fucking face with a poo hunter. And that's it. And I take it back. You take it back. I wipe a on them. And I go, you know what? I want it.

Yeah. And I keep the cat. Enjoy your hepatitis. You get hepatitis for Christmas and you. And I get my hunter back. I go, ooh, this has poop on it. And I wipe it on their shirt. That's so fucking mean.

Why do you do that? Dude, because I can. Oh, God damn it, man. No, I don't think about money. I don't think about money, but I'm very lucky. I didn't have any money. I didn't have any money. What do you mean?

You grew up? We grew up fine. Middle class. Yeah. Whatever that means. It gives you an edge. I'm normal. Did you grow up rich?

Well, I mean, yeah, he grew up rich. By that, you mean I can just ask my dad for anything. By that, do you mean he flew private as a child? Yes. Really? Well, I'm not a stranger to private. I saw it's the best. Isn't that a weird dichotomy?

what made Brian who Brian is. A lot of guys are just complete assholes when their dads are that rich. But I saw a picture. I went to Brian's dad's house. This picture of Brian and sister, young as fuck, on a private jet, cheers. They're both cheers. They're both chairs. Like this.

They're like this. When you're how old? On the corporate jet. Like 10? I was 14. 14. Old enough to know better and old enough to enjoy it. And old enough to give everybody who flies commercially the finger. Old enough to look down the people.

Yeah. Daddy gave me some cash. The point is, I didn't go out with crazy money. but I grew up with money where I never had to worry. That's a big thing. I never had to, see, the world was very safe for me.

I never had to worry about where my dollar came from, which is why I was a fuck up for a long time. Yeah, and then you finally got it together. Kind of. Well, kind of, but when you don't have to worry, when you know at the end of the day you have a net, that at the end of the day,

no matter what happens, I can always go, Daddy, I need money. So when I was in, when I was in theater school in New York, my dad paid my rent. You went to school for acting? It did.

But how come you're, so bad. What do you think it is? The history and the economics thing I get. Andrew? If I have $10 and someone takes two, how many do I have left?

Eight. Okay, great econ and great history. We learned both of these things out of you. But the acting thing is so bad. No, dude, you are so, so bad. I don't think I've ever seen one thing that you're doing. Give me a scenario and a scene out of it. Give me a heartfelt story.

Give me a fucking line. You know what? I will. Give me a scenario. There you go. I'll blow your mind. I'll give it. I made him an offer he can't refuse.

All right. Go ahead. I made him an offer he can't refuse. B minus. Fuck you, man. B minus, dude. Do you want to see how to really do it? Yeah, please.

Okay. How'd you get him? Now, I'll give you the line to feed in. How'd you get him to agree? Now, hold on. Let's start again. Amateur. See, this is what I'm talking about.

Amateur. An actor prepares, dude. You give us action. Go ahead. Action. How'd you get him to agree? I made him an offer he couldn't refuse. And seen.

Dude, that's... Andrew, hold on. I have to stay. I have to stay. I have to stay. Here's the next line. Did you see the difference? Do you see the difference? I emmoded more. I turned.

There was body movements in there. You were saying when you were in acting class, though, if it didn't work out, you were just going to like, fuck it, go back to Papa? I had a... No. I mean, no. My ego was too big. What saved me was the fact that I just like being good at things and I didn't want to be

the dork. I wanted to be the cool kid. Were you always the cool? I'm type of a personality. I'm not gonna be not, I'm not gonna be not, I'm not gonna be successful at something if I'm gonna go for it. Okay. That's why my my boxing, my fucking, my acting, everything's so good. But here's the thing. You're good at two of those things. Don't. Don't say a boxing. No, not boxing or acting. What was the other one? Oh, fucking. You can dance and fuck. From what I hear. No, I know it. All right. I pounded this guy. Oh, God. I've, dude, for your fans, by the way, I'll take back all the money jokes that I made,

because that's disgusting, that's not who I am. Okay, I want them to know that. That's not who I am. This is a joke. But what's not a joke is, I fuck Brian Callen. I have had sex with Brian Callan. I want the world to know. Oh, man, dude.

Top, top, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom. Top and the bottom, and the top and the bottom. And the guy who films it. Don't say out of this. Yes, you do. Yeah, that goes our whole fucking secret. So what? So what?

So what? They got to know. Ah, you're right. Let's say this. Brian Callen's my boyfriend. Do you have any aspirations to act, act, do you want to act act? I have an audition tomorrow with John Cena. But I mean, do you want to act serious or do you want cool shit?

Cool shit. See, that's, okay, big difference. I can't. I was on set for a David Dayers movie and just being on that set for four or five days. I was like, oh. You want, you want fun, cool shit. Like real deep, dramatic pullout stuff. You don't want any of that stuff.

Not for this. No, he likes comedy, dude. Not for this. Yeah, no, but you don't only want to do comedy. I do now. Because you're bad at drama. No. No. I've seen some of the stuff.

I'm not. I feel like most comments want to be serious roles. Like, you ask Delea, he wants to do a serious role. Delia and I just talked about it. He wants to do, he seriously, he's seriously, he wants to do action shit. That's right. He's trying to get big, big, big, and do action shit. It's not going to happen for him. Why? Why do you think he's not heroic and he's not an action? Oh, I bet it does.

He has legs are too skinny. Too skinny. What do you, do you want to do serious roles, too? No, dude. Doing the Showtime show for two years was enough for me. I want to do comedy for a long time now. So here's just real quick to caveat. Like I want to do like an ABC, like a spin-off of the Goldbergs. You know, like imagine if they got a cute girl to do a spin-off of the Goldbergs. So she's the lead?

Yeah, she's the obvious lead. And then, you know, then the superintendent would be like. I'm going to get you apart. Tim Meadows. I'm going to go from Saturday Live. Someone hilarious who's got like a really good wealth of like old. For sure. You know, like one of those good shows.

We're all familiar with them. Yeah. Exactly. And then I would be kind of the hilarious comedic relief who's like smart and good looking and dope. That sounds like a good job. Andrew, that would be a great show. I can get you a part on the show as a red head.

And here's the thing. The token. I can make a call at any time to ABC and get a job and have someone removed from a job. But I don't, I won't do that. That is it. Why would I be that kind of guy? Do I have an old relationship with the mouse?

I do. You bet your ass I do. Okay? But would I ring a ding-a-doodle up the mouse and go, hey, you got to cut Calin. And because you know what they would say? What? Say no more.

Buk, gone. Say no more. You don't have that kind of power in holly. Oh, yes, I didily do, bud. Yes, I do. All right, well, you don't think I can make a call right now and have you... I don't want you to threaten. Why are you threatening me?

Because of the way you're looking at me right now. I'm not looking at you in any way. Look at Shob. You better look at fucking Shob right now. Fuck, man. God, you have power. I had an acting teacher. You ever been an acting class with a teacher?

I had an actor where we would do a scene. He'd be doing a dramatic scene. And it's nerve-wracking and you're trying to be good. I can't imagine. And I had a teacher. And my teacher would go like this. He'd go. middle of the scene. You're like trying to do a thing.

Dad, why don't you love me? I don't understand whatever it is and it's already embarrassing. And you just hear him go, I don't believe you! In the back? Just your teacher. Have you done acting classes? I don't believe you. No acting classes. I've only done private one-on-one. Oh, you never did a class with, I never did a thing with other people.

You just did one-on-ones to get ready for? We only do training with one-on-one. Did you not study? You're good actor. You never studied? College, I did theater. Okay. There you go. That counts. That counts. Did I do it? Barely. Barely did it. Because I was too busy getting fucked up. I was bad. College was tough on me.

I had way too much fun. I finally watched dying up here. I finally watched dying up here. I was like, oh, fuck. We're on planes now. I'm getting those checks. A lot of planes.

It's so funny when you get the check and you know, oh, this is on planes. It's on a plane. It's on a plane. It was good. It was really, really good. It was cool. It was fun.

It was too, way too much drama. Way too much. Was Jim Carrey on the set ever? Jim was there sometimes. Jim deals with it. Jim has so much. much on his plate. Really?

Oh my God. Because the Showtime show now? No, just because he's a busy. He keeps busy at whatever Jim wants to do. He paints a lot. I know. He wants to paint. So like painting is a focus.

It's like saying. But that's not a lot on your table. Yes, it is. It's like saying, it's like saying your podcast doesn't take up a lot of your time. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It takes eight hours a day. Because you have to think about.

They'll paint eight hours a day. But you. Oh, painting? It just takes up. It takes up. No one's demanding him to do that. That's a leisure. demanding him to do it just like you're demanding yourself to do this.

Yeah. It's what I think he has my feeling this isn't a hobby though. No, but but he, but that's not a hobby to him either. No. He needs to do the art. My feeling is that he's, is that why you're saying he's busy?

I think that's one of the reasons he occupies his brain in different ways. He likes to focus on things. His brain has to keep busy. Yeah, otherwise he's going to fucking wouldn't all of us? He'll do more YouTube videos and ruin my appreciation. If I said to you right now, if I said you right now, I'm going to give you $500 million dollars,

but you got to get the fuck out of the business. You can't do anything ever again. Nothing on camera. no speaking no nothing not happening yeah no you know why could you be like i have this money and it's so boring i'd be miserable i'm so fucking i'd have nothing to do same thing he has all that money it's good point so without finding new focus he'd be fucking miserable that's good point then you do kill yourself does he have you ever talked to him do you ever talking about why he doesn't act the way he does he because he's so talented but did he well he has the new show right be on a new show yeah he's not why he doesn't do like

old jim carey stuff well he was so good like i think in the grand pantheon of comedians and comedic actors, you'd be hard pressed to find anybody who was better. As dynamic as him. He was able to do everything. He's a force. I mean, I think the only person that had the ability that he did but never got to reach it was Farley. Probably. Farley was probably the only guy who probably could have had the biggest career in the world doing it.

But also, but that was specific. Kerry could do every actor. Totally. Yes. Carrie only has one special. I think it's like 30 minutes long. You ever seen it? At the comedy store.

Yeah. He never wanted to do. And I've talked to him a bunch about that. What's he say? Stand up? no way what do you mean he said no way I said not now or not ever

and he goes not now of course not now he's just not a fan no no no he just doesn't have that in him right now I feel like he went through a crisis I feel like he almost went through a nervous breakdown well dude his his girlfriend killed herself they blamed him

and they blame her family which isn't true which is even more fucked up it's insane which was not true it was all dropped all that court shit was gone away and in the midst of that he was was reinventing what he wanted to be to the public again. Because I think he had made some movies that maybe he wasn't that

stoked about. Yeah. You know what I mean? He made some great ones though, especially when he got serious Truman Show. You're talking to me. I'm a massive I mean, I told him to his face. I'm like, you're literally my hero. You're literally my comedian. You know what? The reason I do comedy is because of him. Is it? But and I said the same thing that Adam Sandel when I saw him. I don't feel like it's the way to go. I feel like then they're like, oh, fuck. No, Jim, Jim, it's almost better to Keep it. Jim knows how to receive it because he knows that he was a hero to somebody.

If you're a comic, if it's just like a regular person on the street that's like, you're the only reason I breathe. He's like, that's fucking weird. But to a comic to be like, dude, you're the reason I do comedy. He appreciates it. He thinks it's beautiful because it's like, wow, that's fucking insane. That's powerful. To empower another person to like really try to hone their talent.

But yeah, dude, you guys know when you have fans that talk to you on the street, I love when someone goes, yo, love your shit, dude. But whatever. Yeah. But when someone goes, Brian, you're out. I love it, dude, I want to be all you all the time. You're my guy. Yeah.

And you're like, what? And they don't make sense. And they're like nervous. And they're like, where are you going? What? In Starbucks? What do you get when you're there? Oh, no.

Yeah. And then everything just starts to like, you're like, I just, you got to go away. Yeah. I don't know you. There's worship and like people are unhinged. Why? I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, oh, cool, man. I appreciate it.

I could almost, he was almost like, not that he didn't appreciate it, but he's almost like, almost embarrassed. Yeah, you know, he's just like, oh, dang, man. He was like, I really appreciate it, brother. I know, but, hmm, but he lives in L.A., right? I just think if you're that famous, I just wouldn't live in L.A. anymore. Dude, I saw him at Chili Cookoff in, in Malibu. Yeah.

I'm not exaggerating. He was with his children, for God's sake, the guy's just trying to hang with his kids. Everybody. Bro, it was, it was crowds of. assholes and kids just wanted to take pictures with him. And they kept, and he's right there with his kids. And they were, they were mobbing him and everybody, can I get one? It was just like, I was like, how would you even come to this thing?

How do you even deal with it? Did you see a special? He was so nice. I did see a special. You want to talk about it? Sure. It's unequivocally the best special I've seen in 10 years. I can go, I'll go on record.

You're being serious or you're being a hitter. 100%. I'll say that. I don't think so. Yeah, I do. I thought it was super original. Let me tell you why. Because all the special that I've seen of all the people that I'm friends with, right?

Like guys that I've seen like a Segura's new special or Joe's new special or guys that are homies with me. I love them and I watch them work out those jokes. It's amazing. This was the first time in a long time that I saw someone having like a ton of fun. Something different. And a lot of carelessness in a really sweet way. That's why. It just touched me.

It touched me, dude. It touched me in a way where I was like, we're supposed to be having fun to. Yeah. It's so much pressure and work. And there's all this like get a Netflix special. Can you get an invitation? Who's your hour with? Are you doing that?

This is happening so much now right now that everyone's getting... Are you on the thing? What are you doing the thing? And when are you doing the thing? That was such a weird breath of relief for me to be like... He kind of took the checker of board and threw it. Yeah, he was like, oh, can't you guys just have fun? But the way he shot it was fun too because it's from all these other fucking venues.

Venues. Where it's cutting and it was just... So this what I'm saying. Is it the funniest? No. I'm not saying it's the fun. It didn't make me like die laughing harder than any other special. I watched the whole thing, though.

Me too. But most, even with our friends, like I'll get 40 minutes in. I'll be like, I'll check my phone. Well, it's also hard because you've seen our friends' material. For sure. But that, it was like so different. Yeah. Like, I was engaged the whole time.

Well, that's, it was, it was music. But that's Adam's Sam. So I will say this. It's not the funniest special I've seen in 10 years. It was the most fun. Refreshing. Just fun. I'd say entertaining.

It was just fun. He fucking talked about pissing in the same place that his kids bathe. And it was fun and careless. The UFC year's the UFC year song. Yeah. That UFC shit was hilarious. I watched the first 20 minutes Couldn't get through it

That wasn't that So I watched 10 and stopped With my buddy Eric We were watching it and I go Nah And he goes No fucking way And literally revisited it

A week later Sat by myself In a hotel room Watch it and I was like Wow No this was what This was fun I watched it in my Bobby Boucher jersey

In my underwear That's fucking dope Thanks dude Maybe I'll watch Maybe I'll sit back Seriously try it again But here Go into it like this

This isn't a fucking season veteran comedian who's working out jokes and material to build to a beautiful hour of perfect rhythmic. This is a guy having fun, telling you stories and jokes and songs that he's kind of accumulated.

It's a performance. It's a show. It's a show. Imagine like if he did Adam Sandler on Broadway, this would be it. Yeah, it'd be great. You would love it. It'd be great, dude.

Also, there's a song. You know, I had an acting teacher used to say, like, I didn't like that movie. If he liked it, he'd recommend it or something or a book. Yeah. And he would always, It was always not interesting.

I didn't like it. He goes, and he'd just go like this. He'd go, watch it again. That's it. But that's true. And it's true.

I've stopped telling other comics about other specials that I've watched, because every comic goes, it's all right. Well, that's comics don't like, yeah. Comics don't like, God damn, dude.

We can't give anyone else credit? No, it's impossible. That's so strange. Yeah, but it's only because it's pure and utter jealousy. The only person that people will give credit to is Joe. Joe's the only guy that I hear that other comics go

Dude, love it Just because they're scared of him Say that into the mic That's because they're scared of him They're fucking right, they should be Say it again Because he I fear no man

You don't fear Joe Rogan I don't fear Joe Rogan I don't fear that fucking guy And I don't fear you It's weird because he'll crush his crew You don't think that Joe And Chob and I Could fucking rip you to shreds

Bro do me a favor If you decide to step into that ring And I'm being dead serious Let's go I'm being dead serious. No gloves. Make sure. No gloves.

Make sure. Gloves. No gloves. We're talking about a street fight. Make sure. Well, you said a ring, Brian. Make sure you. Fuck.

Do you go to say it? You said it. Fuck, man. If you step to that ring. Shit. If you step over the line, maybe. We got to have gloves. All right.

Well, if somebody, if we happen across a ring in street. This is the Alzheimer's kicking. Do you see that? You take your meds today? You're all over, bro. Be honest with me. I take propitia. That's all I take.

Homes. Proposa. Oh, the hair, the hair stuff. Yeah. Nothing else? You don't take something for your peepee? No, I don't. And I don't take, I don't need anything for my peepee.

Look at this. I've never taken Viagra. I bet you take pee pee pee pills. I don't take pee pee pee pee pee hair and you take calcium pills. I don't take calcium pills. Yes, because your bones. No, my bone bones are dense. I had my bones look that.

I've seen them. What's a density of your bones? Like titanium. Titanium. Yeah. You have titanium bones. They're stupid dense. Wolverine.

Let Schaub hit you as hard as he can in your thigh. You can hit me anywhere he wants. Okay. But just know this, know this. If you want a street fight with me. Yeah. Pack a fucking lunch, bro. I'd say pack a snack.

Because you're going to be there a while. We're going to fight all day. Is that what you're saying? I bear the fuck down. Okay, good. You ever try to kill all the bacteria? You can't. Yeah, you can.

Okay. I'm going to, I can, you think, do you really think in a crazy street fight? Yeah. You and I that it's going to take that long from some, up to sundown? Have you ever done any fighting? This is in a Wild West movie. Yeah.

Have I done any fighting? He missed the whole first part of the show. You're talking about Slugger? Slugger Santino over here. Slugger Santino? Slugger Santino? No, no. I've heard the stories of Slugger Santino.

Let me tell you something. What? My mom. You have dark sightless eyes sometimes. I was 13. My mom walked in my room and said, that's it. You're grounded. You didn't clean up the house.

Guess what I did? Punch that bitch in the field. Beat her to death. What? Kill my mom at 13. You killed your mom in 13. Beat her to death. That seems so awful.

You scarred out? Yeah, and here comes my bitch-ass dad running in. What'd you do to your mom? What'd you do your dad? Head locked him, beat his ass to death too. You killed both your parents with your bare hands? Mom, dad. Mom, dad.

That's why you call your hands mom and dad. Mom and dad. That's why I call him that. I say you're going to meet my mom and my dad. Have you met my parents? Do you want to meet my fucking parents? And people that... You got step dad right here.

This is a fucking step dad. These are my adopted parents right here. This is Margie and Kev. And if they fuck with me, dude, don't fuck with me, Marge. So you know what I say? So let me ask you. You know what I say before I fight? You know what I say before I fight?

What do you say before I fight? So say you guys, say you, Rogan and Shops surround me. Oh, what, how much fun? Okay. Right? Yeah. Now, this is what I go. I go like this.

I go. I look around and I go, you guys want to dance? Let's dance. And that's the last thing you do. But it's not. So that's your last words. We're going to put that on your tombhouse. Because this isn't the west side story.

Yeah. We're not going to. You're not going to let's dance and it's not that. To me, to me it may as well be because I'm, I never stop moving. Shab is going to just like grab you. If we're in the circle,

we're all going to laugh when you say that dumb fucking line, your last words. I'm going to look at me. Ha ha ha. We laugh. Joe doesn't laugh. Joe's not. He just wants to kill you.

Joe's too intense. Joe's too intense. And puts your little tiny arms behind your head, you know? and then, I mean, Joe's just kicking it. He doesn't even need to do anything. But Shob holds you down, puts your little arm behind your head. And I grab onto your ears.

I grab onto those fucking car doors, right? And I put out my ding-dongs. I put out the big red, the big red bullet. And I fuck your throat. My dick comes out of your head. It's poking out, poking up until it pops right through. And then, oh, you have a huge cockhole. You have a huge cockhole.

You have a glory hole. You have a glory hole. And then all you hear is Rogan like this. that's a terrible I don't want to die like that that's how you're going to die and guess what it's going to say he got he got a glory hole

fucked into his skull and his last words were you want to dance let's dance yep you know my last you know my last words cockhole through his throat you know my last words are

because I create guilt in your heart this is this is how I fight even though you win I create guilt in my heart you just hear this I'm going to all my children fom

Oh, disgusting, dude. You're going to be talking about your kids while I'm throat fucking you to death. Well, because you have to love them because I die. And then you're responsible for my soul. Actually, you know what? I want your kids there to see this. Oh, no. I want them there.

That's terrible. I want them there. That's terrible. That'll be so scarred. I want them there. And the whole time, I want them to clap while I'm doing it. No, they wouldn't. Yay.

You'll make them? Yeah. Heard him. Hurt dad. Heard him. Hurt Papa. Boom, boom. And I'm just fucking the propitia pills right out of your throat.

They don't call me. His white ass. It's just fucking... Yeah, my white, orange Cheeto ass. You called it the red bullet. Just murdering your throat and then, oh, oh, oh, and you can't take it. And you're going, kids, why are you laughing?

And they're like, ha, ha, ha, and they're putting it on Snapchat. Jesus Christ, yeah. You're an evil. I'm going to fuck you to death. You're an evil, man. Your eyes are so fucking dark, dude. And then I'm going to put your body in the trunk of my car. And I'm going to drive it out to some weird fucking truck stop and like Pekoyma or some

bullshit. Yeah. I'm going to set you up in the bathroom and I'm going to write on the wall, free glory hole and they're gonna fuck your dead head all these truckers are gonna come and fuck your dead head truckers are in a fucking dead head dude they are they are they are that's science that's what the term deadhead comes from

that's what the grateful dead fans used to do they would fuck deadheads all right this shop is rubbing his own legs he's so disturbed no no he's ready to kill you I'm ready to fuck you he's ready to fuck you yeah that's his go time so I'm calling up Joe after this I'm gonna say Joe we got something to take care of this Joe we got a date after you're done with your scene today you're going to work again

Yeah. You are? Going back. You are. I don't know if I can now. Can I take a piss break? You can take a piss break before we do current events. Take a piss break.

Okay. Don't get on your phone just because. Let's do some current events with Andrewsson. Just jump on in it. I love this. He Davidson describes online bullying after Ariana Grande split. Oh no. What happened?

He released a post on Instagram saying that he's been bullied by Ariana Grande fans ever since they broke up. That's so funny. But he also has like he suffers from like super bad depression. Same. Yeah. And anxiety. Same.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, but he's saying like people like her fans like, why don't you kill yourself. So basically he had to come out with this thing like, dude, you guys are blowing me. No matter how bad you do it, like I'm not going to kill myself. No matter how many times you ask, am I going to kill myself.

You know, it must have been really bad for a guy like Pete Davidson who suffers from social anxiety to do a post. I know. I know Pete very, very well on a personal level. He's a good dude. Pete's a great guy. Pete, Pete is a great guy. Pete is a great dude. This kind of stuff.

This kind of stuff happens to everyone that, that, this kind of stuff happens to everyone that this kind of stuff happens to. Do you know what I mean? You date someone fucking mega famous. The media gets a hold of it. They spin it out of control. Shit goes kind of weird. It gets sideways. Things change about you, the opinions of you.

And then when everything, the dust settles, the fucking pieces of shit come out. The snakes come out and go, oh, you suffer from this? Yeah. Let's push them. Let's say this. The bad, the artists of pain. No, they're just losers. And like, it never works out.

They're a loser, loser. You're all loser. Now, hey, now imagine this. Imagine having kids. And then your kid coming home like, Daddy, what did you do today? Like, I trolled Pete Davidson. I made fun of him. Oh, I mocked him incessantly.

Dude, can you imagine that? Like, some of those people are parents. So this guy wrote a really, that's what bombs me out the worst thing. This guy wrote an amazing book that I've not read, but I'll tell you why I'm talking about it. Don't call it called Chasing the Scream About Addiction. And then he wrote another book about depression and anxiety. And he looked at some amazing stats and stuff, and he was on Sam Harris's podcast. And one of the things he talked about was they've done some really, really broad and in-depth studies on the idea that the more you use public social media and Facebook, the higher your depression levels a lot of times, the more anxious.

And so much of what it is, when you work in a job where you have no control over anything, that heightened your anxiety. When you work in a job where you would not connect it to a community, huge factors in depression and anxiety. And that's why they jump on social media. And he said social media, thinking social media or your Facebook community is a community is like comparing porn and sex. Like it is not a community. Like I'm on a porn. Yeah, it is not.

Well, that's different. It's not a community. It's not a community. And social media is a great way to find people who hate you and who love you, but it's all artificial. But you don't, it's not real. It's not real. Do you guys read any of the comments?

Do you guys read anything? I don't. I'm way better about it now. I used to like engage in a little bit and then I just stopped reading completely and then if I'm flying or something like that I have time I'll go in just to but I'll roast some people and then get out

And you check the temperature of how we're doing. If we do a show and I like I don't need to check this show I know this show is going to be a great show because I've been doing a show so long I know what's going to hit. A bad show and what they say about bad show. Nope. I know how I because I always want to know what the fans are thinking

because I'm usually on par with them. So if we have a guess where I 10 minutes in a show, I know every show how it's gonna do typically. We've been so long. So if I know it's not gonna go well, I'll be like, well, let's see if I'm right and say I can usually gauge on it

with the temperature of the comments. But I don't go in there and like clown or let people know I'm doing it. Here's what I found is the best fix for me because I used to read some of the bullshit and I fucking, you know, like, Rogan stuff is hard because so many his fans are such great fans

but whenever I do that show, when I first did it, I would read all that stuff. And they were so fucking, half of them are such loving fans. Half of them are like, fuck yeah, dude, you got a new fan.

enemies, Santino, da-da-da, and then half them, all they want to do is critique every word out of your mouth. Imagine, but then here's my thing. Why would you care about that person's opinion? No, no, and I didn't. So I gave up. So I gave up. And then I was like, a person who's going to reach out on

Instagram and critique a guy who's a successful comic or who's a successful fighter turned a successful comic, a guy who's going to reach out and say something negative about him, why would I give a fuck about his opinion? No, you can't. He's probably working in some bullshit job unhappy with his life. Well, here's what I do. I don't read that.

No, don't read ever. They both are. You should. This is a fix. I don't like Twitter anymore. I don't really fucking use Twitter. I like kind of stopped. And it's only because it's inundated with politics. And I'm not a political guy. And like I don't want to fucking see comics debate about politics. Twitter's not fun anymore. No, it's lost all of it's fun. But what I do, I've regained some fun. This is what I've done. I go, hit me up if you want to get roasted. I've seen you do this. Dude, it's so fun. Because I know that these fans know we're just,

having a good time. They usually take shots back at me, but it's in love. It begins to like blur these lines of like, the real reason people talk shit to you is because they fucking love you. Most people, dude, the only reason that someone leave a comment

and go to the trouble. Because they're a fan. Because they like you, but they like to hate you. Because it gives them something. So I go, hey, you want to get fucking roasted? Hit me up. Then I'll light someone on fire. And if it's dope, they'll go that's hilarious. And they'll retweet or they'll hit me back with something

and I love it too I like their fucking I like their shit but like it's just breaking down these fake walls I agree it's all fake it's not relevant but also like have you ever

like let's say the rock post a picture have you ever went and looked at his comments never never who looks at other people's comments so I don't know why we'd even look at our own that's very interesting yeah no have you ever have you ever

so why would you go into yours I genuinely don't care I genuinely don't care I genuinely don't give a shit about it. I know that about you and I actually believe you wholeheartedly. Some people are liars. Yeah, but some people are liars. They go, I don't care, but they look.

I know you don't know you. I don't give a shit. I like my friends. No, I'll be honest. I'll check your renown and depending. But I'll know, like, for instance, this Tyson Fury fight Wilder. I know what I'm saying isn't of popular opinion. So I know there's going to be some people who are very hurt by what I say.

So they're going to lash out. I expect that. That's natural, though. And I know it's going to happen. So I'd stay off it on purpose. Sure. But if you're talking about sports opinion, that's hard. If you touch on a subject, I don't care what you say.

If you say anything about gun control, you say anything about abortion, if you say anything about, if you say anything about, for example, Donald Trump or whatever, you're going to get both sides of you. Totally. You're going to get our listeners fall asleep and you're going to get hate on Twitter. When you're a president of the United States, they always say that every decision you make, you're going to make 50% of the people happy and 50% of people hate you. Totally. And that's what it, that's a microcosm of essentially how everybody who lives publicly is going to have to, you know. It's what we have to go through.

That's right. You're going to get hate. You're going to get. But then again, I'm sorry. But the other thing about being comics. When you're not getting any comments, though, you should be worried. Yeah. But no one gives a fuck about what you're saying is when you're in trouble.

That's, but by the way, as comics, as comics for us, especially with the podcast, the people that are coming to our shows, they love you. And they're coming. And I know they, I know those people like me. You know why? Because they laugh for an hour. what I'm doing. Yeah.

So that's what I care about. Yeah, I'll take that. I'll take a lot. Yeah. Or how about, how about in New York one guy was getting loud? I don't,

those fans are so loyal and dedicated, they know how hard I work because they listen to me talking about there. They pipe them down before I even get to it. Hey,

motherfucker, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's great. I went, whoa, dude, chill, it's all right. He's having to get time. I love that shit. I went, but for sure

you're my hair. Thank you. Some tough guys. I like when people shut people, other people up. That's my favorite, That's my favorite shit at a show. When I hear, there was a woman in, there was a woman that was, like, really fucked up when I was in Philly.

And she was, she was just requesting a bit out of me that she loved. So she was a fan. She was just too drunk. Yeah. And another girl, which I thought was really rare. We know as comics. It's mostly fucking dudes. To talk fest.

Mostly dudes. If not, it's a drunk girl with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend brought her. Yeah. And they're both fucked up. No, dude. Another girl goes, lady, be quiet. And everybody lost it.

And I was like, that's hilarious. You're another girl. Jump on another girl. And she goes, shout up. She goes, no, seriously, be quiet.

But it wasn't like fuck you. It wasn't like agro. Come on, man. It was just be quiet. And it worked so fucking well that now I think in the future when I do shows, when someone talks, I'm just going to go, be quiet. That's hilarious.

Because it's such a nice. Quiet please. It's such a condescending, but nice. Be quiet. Yeah. And if you're an adult and you don't get that, then you got to go. Yeah. But if an adult hears that and goes,

I'd be quiet. I should be quiet. I've had three physical fights break out of my shows. Three? Yeah. Jesus, What the fuck are you doing? Once in the Nokia Center downtown,

there was a straight-up fight, physical fight. Two fans. One in Florida, with people sitting at the same table. Let's go. You want to go? Let's go right now.

Weird. Let's go. What an agro comedy? Are you pushing out? I don't know. Crazy. And then another one, and I'm trying to think of when it was,

but I had three fights. Florida? Florida, the Nokia Center. The L.A. and where? New York, probably. Boston? How about one was in New York? the manager of Gotham

To me they're like We just want to say We just want to say how happy we are Because you know We know with your previous background And fighting stuff We didn't know what fans you were gonna You were gonna bring in here

And she goes They were the nicest Most polite fans we've ever had here I feel like fighters Will be more like that My audience isn't a It's not like it might People think the guys

With gnarly ears No no it's They're not gonna be fighting That's not who comes on shows A lot of those guys do A lot of like Jiu-Jitsu schools And you know I get a lot of that Yeah but I think

Some of those guys might be the most calm guys. Because they get it out when they fight. And they're nice people, though. Even if the crowd is a pro fight crowd. Anybody I know that trains, that fights are trains? They're not looking to fight people at a fucking car. No, they don't. Why would they need to? No, it's the guy that does it from Jersey Shore.

The guy that's working nine hours a day in a fucking, you know, like in a mechanic shop, and he's angry and he hates his fucking fat life. But he's coming to laugh too. He's coming to laugh too. He wants to laugh. I'm just saying he's more apt to fight. I'm saying he's just more apt to fight than the guy that doesn't. Because he's got some shit.

Oh, I'm sorry. The other one was two girls. So why don't you take your ugly fucking ass out of here? And I was like, hey, hey, hey, well, she's ugly and then back and forth. Well, was she ugly, though? Yeah. Was she speaking of the truth? She was not.

She was a little heavy, but in a good way. Oh, heavy's not ugly. Heavy's not ugly. Ugly is ugly. Sometimes you see people in my shows and I go, wow. Yeah. Really ugly. And I'm happy that you came here.

And then I go, can we move to the little back? I bring them up on stage. And I bring them up on stage. And I say, kick them out because they're disgusting. No, no, no, no. I love ugly people just as much as I love beautiful people. I see. I want to make everyone feel welcome and warm in my shows.

But if I see a really ugly person, I buy him a drink. Because they got a tough life. They got to walk around like that all the time. I go, get that guy a couple of fucking drinks. You just have to look at him for an hour. He's 24 hours. I don't look at people. I'm a weirdo.

People say that about, I don't look at anybody anymore. I gaze out. I'm out. I don't look at your face. Me too. I don't want to look at your face. I don't want to look at your face because I'm doing this thing. I'm in full red rocket mode.

Which is what we call it. The Red Rocket Tour is 2019. The Red Rocket Tour. It's a little obnoxious. It's a little obnoxious. It's pierce Brian Callan's throat. No. The Red Rocket Tour.

You can't put that you called the Glory Hole Tour. The Glory Hall Tour. The Red Rocket Glory Hall Tour. Featred to you by Brian Call. Featuring Slugger Santino. Hold on. Let's go in this. And his Red Rocket. Let's get some more news.

Let's keep going. God. God. Damn it. I just realized we're totally off of the mark here. No, we're not. So some parents are starting to send their kids to rehab for a video game addiction. Yep.

That's really bad. I can. test that. My son is not allowed to be on the iPad anymore because it gets too crazy. He will, but this gets crazy. These kids will disappear into this shit. Yeah, I guess you know what was so funny? The development of video games has almost been a negative. When we were kids and it was like 8-bit, 4-bit, whatever that is, you know, it was so

fun because it was simple. Now you can live inside of the video game. Dude, go to Dave and Busters. Go to Bobby Lee's house. No, dude, play an arcade game. You're like, this shit's terrible. It's crazy. Compared to what you get at home. So, of course, the kids are staying home, jacking off drinking Red Bull,

and then playing for 24 hours straight. I looked at those kids, a lot of those kids who've been coding and playing video games 12 hours a day, they actually don't grow. They don't grow. Their bodies aren't being, they're not eating,

and their bodies aren't being tested. They're not moving, so they don't grow. They stay like 10-year-old. That's fucking sad. There's obviously a problem with this where kids aren't working out and they're playing video games,

but there's also another spectrum of this where people think the guys who play a lot of video games are nerdy and like super introverted. There's a lot of them that are badasses that actually work out, but they do this and they're off time. Totally. And they're making tons of money. Yeah. And they're fucking chicks. And then when they're done with that, they're getting online playing video games. Yeah.

But the truth is. It's no longer just the kid in the basement. It's talking about a balance. But I'm telling you, there's a heavy, uh, fucking portion of those gamers who are actually like legit. But this is not talking about gamers. This is just the average child. See, this is just parents are saying that the average child that's at home that has access to iPads, iPhones, Xbox, PlayStation, the computer. It's so many free ways to play games now.

Yeah. That's on the parents, too, a little bit. Sure. But the Nintendo Switch, like the inventions of mobile take it with you to go, that means they want to play it all the time. Well, they have access to it. When I was a kid, it was just in the basement, at the house, at the house, at night. But my, at night. Yeah.

During the day, we're outside. Yeah. All day. That's funny because I never played video games during the day. But at night during a sleepover. All the time. Yeah. You go all night long.

All night. You play to your spots, right? Totally. But nowadays, we don't want to be indoors. But what about the video games that are virtual reality where you're actually moving, shooting, punching? Those aren't shit? No.

Here's the problem. I had a friend of mine that was an investor in VR. He was saying very candidly that he's like, hey, man, we're moving at lightning speed with VR. It's still going to take a long time before it is. Just because it's extremely complex and it's so much code. from what I, from what I indifferently understand. And there's also a lot of equipment, right?

I mean, it's not even that. It's more about like creating these worlds with such depth and such, and to make it continually change and adapt. Yeah. It just takes a lot of technology. A lot of those kids would much rather play Fortnite or whatever and just sit there. A lot of them don't want to, they don't want to mix that. Have you done VR?

I do. No, I want to do that. I've been inside VR worlds and I've shot like bow and arrow and all that stuff. Bring it up to Rogan. I talk about for two hours. I know. It's fine. It's fine.

But I get it why you're like, nah. This isn't as cool. It's just not there. It's not avatar. It's like self-driving power. You're going to have a point where you're an avatar, though. I know. You're going to have an avatar?

No, I'm saying. Where it's like an avatar. When you put on the thing, it feels like the avatar. How great will that be for some people? Well, dude, did you read about all this stuff about the computers that are talking to each other in different languages? Yeah, to shut down, Facebook pulled the plug. They start speaking a different code. I told you about this, right?

They're talking to different languages and they're saying they can create their own code. They pulled the core. They went, oh shit. They can create their own words. Because they were going into Jew and Hater. No, no, no. Pushing people toward anti-Semitic. No, that's Facebook.

But the thing with Facebook, they create this thing. Look at my face. Listen to this, Andrew. They created this thing. That's fucking insane. So they started talking and they realized that humans were downloading what they were saying. They went, let's talk in this other language that they can understand. And then Facebook went, oh shit, this ain't good.

Dude, when the robots kill us. And it did it like fast, too. It wasn't like, hey, they're listening to us. It was like, holy fuck, they're following what we're saying. Switch over to this weird fucking database. Imagine. Imagine these robots. are listening to us, the computers are listening to us,

and all they're going to take from this is, they're learning how to do what we talk about doing. So, one day when the robots take over and they kill us, and they kill us in very traditional ways. And when they go to kill Brian, they're going to remember how I was going to kill Brian, and the mic listened and then they get out that fucking

stainless steel cock. This is going to be the Black Rocket is going to go right through the steel rocket. The machine is going to kill you. But I don't want it. Can I tell you something? Tell the robot. The machine is going to kill you.

Yeah. You're going to say that to a robot? Is a robot? You're going to go, let's dance. I don't want to die. You're going to die. I don't want to die. I'm going to, oh, I just got a phone call.

What? Hello? Oh, no. It's your life. Oh, fuck. How long? Oh, gosh. Is that a robot?

How many, what is it? What is it? The fifth today? Y'ya, y'i, that's near. How long do I have? It's from what? Oh. Wow.

That's insane. How many? There's four of them? No. Wow. No. I'll let them know. And they tried, huh?

And they tried. They did, well, okay. He's going to, yeah. Hey, he's wearing it right now. What? Oh my God, that's it. Okay. All right.

All right. Bye. What did I say? No, he's just, you know, he's just saying that it was your life on the line. Your life is on the line. Imagine dying in this outfit, by the way. I don't want to die in this outfit. Imagine dying in this outfit.

I don't want to die in this outfit. I would take so many. Instagram story pictures of you like this? Just all dead in that bullshit outfit. No, I don't want to die this way. We'd have to embal them in that. In that. But this is why my grandfather, this is why my grandfather always dressed nice because he was

like, well, I don't want to die looking like a lot. Just the casket over, right? Yeah. He's like, just put me in it now. Yeah. But you're going to, if you die like this, who, yeah, it's not going to be good. No. I don't want my flesh showing.

You don't want your, yeah, you want to be fully clothed when you die. I think so. I won't be embalmed. Like, laughing hard. Like, ew. You're going to die someday. Oh, I gotta get out of here.

I have, I have five minutes. I have five minutes. People are, Oh, go ahead. Sorry. Okay, so have you guys heard of the thought audit? No.

No. So it started as a joke where, um, there are people with private Snapchat accounts who will charge money for the password to get into that Snapchat and see videos and it will be like, uh, girls undress, yeah, girls and dressing and stuff like that. And somebody came out and said that they, Their private account was audited because somebody tried to turn them into the IRS and that girl got audited for it.

Wow. And it started off as a joke. And now people are seriously trying to get girls audited for having private Snapchat accounts. What's wrong with people, man? They're ruining the fun for everyone. Amen. No one has anything better to do. They're terrible.

These are party poopers. These are a great-A party poopers. Who reported my premium snatch out to the IRS? I'm being fucking audited. Wow. That is so funny, though. It is funny. That's so funny.

Like, do hookers don't pay taxes? No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize for saying that. I know that's a mean word. They actually do pay taxes. Cash, baby.

I mean, I'm sorry. It's escorts. I apologize. I don't mean to say that. Ladies of the evening. Ladies of the evening. By the way, and by the way, let me make this very clear. Hors.

Shob. Brandon. I am very much in support of women who want to be in the game of sex work. That's all I want to say. I don't give a fuck what you do with your life. No, I support it. But do they get, they don't pay taxes because it's cash? Correct.

It's all cash transactions. They can actually turn over their information to, I believe. I forgot. Because they want to like rent houses too and shit, right? And they need credit. They can. A lot don't, but they can. Or you suck everyone off until you get there.

That is so mean. So mean. Do you think that's how the world works? Do you think you go into Bank of America and you suck a cock and you get a mortgage? They're in there. Well, because I'm going to go there right after this because I'm struggling with mine right now. Because I need one. Red bristles.

What else you got? A good interest rate. What's the next one? I got to get out of here. All right. How about this? Tyson Fear, donating his entire purse for the wilder fight,

$10 million to help the poor and homeless. That's insane. The speech he gave was so fucking inspirational. Yeah, man, it just made me smile so hard. I love that motherfucker. I love that guy. He's a fucking dude. You know what?

You know what I say? You know what I mean by that? He's a dude. He's the best in the world. You're just a good dude, man. He's the best in the world. I think he beats Anthony Joshua. I think of the rematch.

She's going to be very tough for Wilder. You think this was a draw? I do have this as a draw. You do have it as a draw. I do too. It was a phenomenal fight. I love the fight. Here's the thing too.

Deont de Wilder went into that fight. Hurt. Hurt what? With what? I had a broken arm a few weeks before the fight had surgery. Shut up. I went into without sparring or anything.

So are they using that? Are they using that? I don't think he's using it. It didn't come from his team. I think it finally came out. Dude, look at that fucking size of these guys. So he's, he is fucking dishing out $10 million dollars to the

The entire purse. Every dollar he made from that fight. God's insane. You know why? Is he the most likely of a guy all the time? You know why he's doing that? Because he knows that he knows that he knows that he knows that he can make more. He knows he off the rematch that they both make twice as much.

He knows that it's like, let me just do a good thing. I'm a boxer, not a, not a businessman. He just says he doesn't want to be a millionaire, he just wants to help people. Oh, this guy. I believe him. I absolutely. I believe him too. God, I love Mike.

I love. You almost call Mike Tyson. That's what I love. I love. He called Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson Fury. I love Mike Tyson Fierry Punchout. He was named after Mike Tyson wasn't he?

Correct. Wow. I think he beats Joshua. I think he'd be tough for Wilder in the rematch. America is fascinated. Here's my thing. And this people are going to be, ooh-hoo. Wilder knocks out Joshua and Tyson Fury out points Joshua.

Wow. I think Joshua's the third out of those three. Do you make bets in Vegas? Sometimes. I have my brother do it or my agent. I'm going to call you next time. I'm going to make some bets on what you say. Please do.

I am here. I think the heavyweight division is so exciting right now. Kids, I got to go. Can you close this out for me? I know. I open this up so strong. Yeah. And I'm going to close it strong.

But you're going to be here with. We're going to close it right now with you then. Call him. You're leaving? I can't be late. All right, dude. I love you guys. Andrew Santina.

Do we want to stop this now? Yeah, you're going. Where can they listen to your podcast? You can listen to Whiskey Ginger, wherever podcasts are available, obviously, son. iTunes and all that jazz. Everything. It's going to be on YouTube. Everyone's mad about it.

Get on YouTube. It is. I know it's coming. I promise. We'll figure it out. And also go to Andrew Santino. com for dates. I'll be in Bakersfield.

I've never been up there. Are you at the brewery? Yeah, I'm going to Bakersfield. January 19th. Come to that. And then I go to draft house in D. The last weekend. Jan 19 is when he's shooting his showtime special.

We won't be there. What? You won't be there? No, I will. Oh. Where are you shooting a special? I'm not going to be at his thing. In Spreckles Theater, San Diego.

Shooting a special, showtime special. All right, I love you guys. I love you, bye. I love you, dude. That's great. Keep them cheeks tight. Don't forget your coat. We can all relax now.

Brian's left the coat. Yeah, thank God that piece of shit is gone. And I shouldn't say piece of shit because I don't really mean that. I love him, but I got to tell you, dude, whenever I'm around him. You tense up? Yeah. Because I just want to rip his head off. You know what?

It's either that or you know he's going to go at any minute. Yeah. Yeah. And here's the thing. Do I like doing this podcast? more with you than with you and him together? Sure. Do I respect and like Brian as a comic?

Depends. Day to day. Case by case. Case by case. But I always love coming here and seeing you be such like a light in my life. And then when Brian comes, sure, it's funnish. You know, it's funnish. But it's like a rainy day at Disneyland, isn't it?

Yeah, you're still at Disneyland. You're still there. Like a little cold and it's wet. Mickey's going to be around. Yeah, but it's going to be wet. But it's going to be like wet. It's going to be sad. Yeah, sad wet Mickey.

Sad wet Mickey. But I do love coming. I do love coming all over the bus. I got to be honest, I'm glad you finally started your own podcast. I'm happy to it. The funniest guys on the planet. Thank you, bro. You have some of the best artwork.

You'll be doing your thing. We're going to be moving at full speed. Whiskey Ginger is the name of it. And I hope people listen to it and it catches up a little bit. They will, man. Look at it's not on YouTube yet. But you're headed there. We're trying.

We're getting cameras. Look at that's it right there. Oh, did someone put up videos? It said videos. I try other videos? That's really crazy. What does that say for videos? Did someone just take the audio and throw it up?

Looks like it, yeah. Yeah. This is Twitter. Oh, no, that's me. That's me. No, that's just me. No, so I'm going to put up YouTube. I know everyone gets so mad when you don't put up YouTube stuff.

I know. You just starting out, though. We didn't do video to like our third season. Yeah, no, dude. But I know that that's what's up right now. But it's 2019. I know that's what's up right now. I know.

I know when I know. When you don't have video, it's like you're sending mail with pigeons. I know. That still was very efficient. It was. Because if the pigeon died, it wasn't supposed to get there. Correct. It was in God's hands.

Yeah. Meanwhile, now the postal service delivers 19% of my mail. I don't get shit anymore. I hear you. Someone's stealing my mail and packages. We got to get you out of here, dude. So you're in Bakersfield, you said? I go up to Bakersfield or the January 19th, and I do.

That's a great room. Yeah, dude, I cannot wait. I was nervous about it. And I've never done Bakersfield. And I know Bakers for people are going to come the fuck out. Good crowd. Good math. Yep.

Okay. Don't hang out after hour. By the way, if anybody's got whippets, bring them whippets. Bring them, baby. All right, man. Bring them out. Bring them out. Bring them out. Bring them out. Bring them out. Bring them out. The hard whipets in your mouth. All right. For me, this Friday, Saturday, I'm in New Mexico, Albuquerque, New Mexico, Santa Ana Casino.

After that, end of December, I'm at the Ice House, Pasadena, Friday and Saturday. What are you doing, December 28th, 29th? Nothing. Want to do a set? Ice House? Yes. Is it Friday or Saturday? Saturday?

Saturday I can. Perfect. Santino's as well. I'll be here, baby. Along with some other funnier friends than me. Edmonton Canada is January 10th and 12th than the Grand Hoggoso, my one hour showtime special in San Diego, Spreckels Theater. Get takes now. T-FatK.com. We also just released the Abakini Fight Club T's in Military Green. They're out. Get them. For Andrew Santino, Brian Call and myself, this is the Fire on a Kid. We're out. Ding, ding, ding.