The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 427 Andrew Santino

Episode Date: May 31, 2026

Andrew Santino steps in to guest host with Brendan and Theo Von makes a surprise appearance. The guys guess each others weight and talk sex changes, old jacked dudes, R. Kelly, favorite music genres, Kanye and Joe Rogan, highest viewed videos on YouTube, Santino's story about partying with PSY, Asian names quiz and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Obviously. Obviously. For sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Onet Studios in Pliya, Vista, California, it is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live.

No, no, we're not live. It doesn't matter. It sounds better when you see it. Live. But we're not live. We don't do it. And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live.

Not live. This is not live. Not live. Let's go. I'm fired. fuck up. We might as well go, baby! All right, man.

It's the big red slugger and big rounder. What's up, bro? It's the fighter and the Ferrari today. Oh, I'm not mad at that. Yeah, the fighter and the Ferrari. We don't need Cali. The kid, apparently, his show got good ratings. He's been MIA.

It was like, oh, Shobbs quit the show. No, it's not me, bro. No. Brian's been shooting every day and canceled every day so far since this show. Every single day? Every day. Who's knocking at it? Who is knock?

Knock, knock, knocking at that door. That's not Brian. Who is it? Oh, shit. Cat's hair looks nice, huh? I know who it is. Who bought you that perm, cat? Huh?

That's life. That's a weave, bro. That's a weave. That's a wig, bro. That's a wig. You don't know. You can grow hair out here? Oh, I know.

It's fresh, huh? Don't touch her hair and get jealous, bro. You know what I'm saying it's nice. If you die on one. Can't wear tight-ass sweats like that. I'm touching girls' hair. What's up, bro? I wanted my grandfather died in these pants.

You know that? Oh, that makes sense. Pretty cool. Yeah, did you take them off him? Somebody did, I wasn't there. Yeah, you don't do that. He died in Illinois. What's up, bro?

My state. Yeah. Yeah, man, that's a good place to die. My mother's from Peoria. Down south. Yeah. That's dangerous territory down there. Good people, if you like good people.

Southside, bro. No, yeah, I like good people. No, not Southside. That's south side of Chicago. Yeah, that's where people get killed. This is down south. You just see the map. Brennan has a map at home.

It looks like this, okay? It says America written on it. It looks like the United States. Yeah. You're talking about the shape of the United States. His is before the Civil War. It's just chunks of land. It's just three fucking giant cutout states.

There's a ship parked over on the side of it. Very limited opportunities. What's up, baby? What's up? Good to see you, man. Can you do it, bro? Good to see you. Funny guy.

Not much, man. Just sitting in here. Kicking it. It's for fucking freezing here. We're just shitting on Cal and how he's, since the show got big, you don't come around anymore. Since you guys are doing a show together now, and that's going to take up the majority of the internet's time,

because that's what people want to see as you two. I think it should just be me and here by myself. Because, like, you two are doing a show, this guy's not even fucking here anymore. It should just be me sitting in this thing by myself with chin and cat. He wouldn't be a bad co-host if when he's a great coach. Yeah, but the problem is,

Cali gets jealous, Rook of the Year. Cali gets really jealous, dude. Congrats, man. Congrats, man. The champ. I can see that. Continuing the belt. Yeah.

What was that movie where the kid had the fucked up arm, played for the Cubs and tossed it out? Jason Abbott. That's Rookie of Year. Jim Abbott. Funky butt-loving. He had one arm, Yeah.

Tor was... No, this kid was... Tor it off. Boom. Tor a clean off. Yeah. Tug of war accident. Jim Abbott.

Do one of the 60 or 70, probably best one-armed people. Of all time. What's up? What's up? Yeah, Callin gets jealous, bro. Yeah, he gets really jealous. You know that?

He texted me. If I were both of you, I'd watch your back. He said, I'm really tired of you guys taking over my show. It's my show. And I said, it's not your show. It's all of our show. It's a community show. Yeah.

The fighter and the kids, it's called. Correct. Although Theo and I talked about that on his. show. You guys got a written. The kid, kid is a weird thing to say on a... Dude, who are you telling? In this climate? I know. And you know what? I told Brian... I told Brian I went, when I first met Brian.

You know, kids' shoes just on the table? No, it's creepy. No, it's creepy. For sure. And we have kids' toys up there? I get it. Creepy. Here's the thing, though. I told Brian when I first met him, he goes, hey, I'm Brian the kid telling him. Excuse me? Who gives you that name? That's just what they call me. You know, oh, that's cool. Then we got to know each other. Dude, the name kid doesn't make sense

because you're old as shit. He goes, I know on set, I saw a movie one. time that he referred to Robert De Niro someone as the kid, so he just took it over. Probably Robert Redford. He took it over. Because you know, Callan's the same age as Robert Redford. Yeah, the same age. Same generation.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, he called him Robbie. They knew him. He knew him as Robbie. Bobby Bob. So Callan just took nicknamed himself. By the kid. By the way, nobody, we know Brian well enough to know. Nobody calls him the kid.

I've never heard him. No one's ever called him the kid. Never. Someone called him that, I'm sure, probably. I've heard people say dad. Papa. People call him Papa. Yeah, somebody called him Papa.

So he was on FaceTime the other day with a couple of kids that called him Dad. That makes sense. How many kids do you think he has? Seven. No, three. Yeah, three total. How many does he have on the books? 17.

No, he's like Sean Kepp. On the face he's Sean Kepp? He's the Philip Rivers of this podcast. He's the Sean Kepp of comedy. Why do you laugh like you're fucking haunted? That's what I want to know. Yeah, dude. Maybe you should get an exorcism.

I laughed like a one. Yeah. Why do these guys always they were like, maybe you should get an exorcism. They always do this. Exorcism, because it means something.

It comes out like that. You fucking deliver. What kind of devils do you think are trapped inside a shop? Oh, dude. All ones that work at a skateboard shop for children.

I told him yesterday he looks like a fucking, he looks like his dad owns a fucking gas station. He dresses like every dude who's dad owns a gas station. Dude, skateboard shop's actually pretty funny. I could see him doing grip tape by the beach. That's your,

for sure, a shop job. Grip tape. Shob jobs. Yeah, shob jobs. How's that not a new shitty show on the internet? The fucking show. Welcome back to Shob jobs.

Shob jobs. Today we're going to be grip taping and fucking ripping waves, Matt. Welcome back to Shob jobs, doggie. Me and you're just sitting there just talking shit. We're just hearing the show. He's just sitting there. I'm just sitting there doing the job. You guys are commentating.

It's like fucking shark tank. Shob jobs. Yo, if you never fought, what would you have done? for real like what would have been yeah dude you would have probably had to get a job with FedEx you think FedEx what can Brown you for you?

No, he's not delivering what can Brown do for you? Yeah, you're in the warehouse dude on better yet Theo what the fuck would you do with your skill set if you were in a comic

what in the world would you do dude I have first of all you would be you would be a be a be a be a be a be a but you know he's got a be a bevy of skills though he really does yeah a urban planner graduated college or urban planner. You didn't graduate

college. You were homeschooled. He built. He built. He's St. Louis. That was his, he designed that entire city. Dude, you wouldn't get hired as the bird at Red Robin with that. You couldn't be around kids. I'm like that. I would have got a sex change. I've been a lesbian and found some hot chick to fucking

take care of me. Yeah, that's actually very legit. If you, I know shit, if you were a young guy and you were like, things aren't going for you well somewhere, get 10 grand. get a real pussy in. Just get tits. Is that all the cost to get you?

Don't get tits. Yeah, you get tits. Anybody can do tits, man. Tits are so easy. You can put sand in a man's chest and it feels like tits. No, dude, you guys are looking at this wrong. You get tits. You suck the dude off for a year or so.

Get paid and then get married, right? And then you just get rid of the tith. That's such a long plan. Oh, my God. Suck him off for a couple years. Dude, he was going to cut off his dick to do it. Oh, yeah, but big deal. Get rid of it.

What are you going to do? Tits make so much more sense? You're stupid. fucking plan, dude. It sounds like inception, bro. You're going to cut off your dick. That's for a life. You're like, travel into the past, leave your dick in the past, hide it

in an envelope. Email your cock to a 3D printer, have it printed out. Take a space shuttle. Dude, what would you have done if you were in a comic? Oh, I'd be working construction, blue collar job. Nothing that's wrong with it, but that's literally what I would have done. Oh, and you definitely would have gotten in trouble for a domestic dispute. For sure.

For sure. There's no doubt about it. The hot summer days, you'd be a bad. You'd be a bad teammate. Yeah. I come home after a hard day of, you know, where's my stew? There's no stew.

I'm mad. My 15 little redheaded kids are running around. You would hit your wife. Dad, dad, I wouldn't hit her, but I would. You'd be tough to do with it.

Let her know. Yeah. I would let her know. Here's what you can do instead of hitting somebody, you can set there, you can just put your hand, make your hand really hard and just touch it against the side of their head for a second.

Like that, yeah. That's what that is. I feel like you'd be like the warden off shell shake redemption. That's the vibe I get for him. Sometimes. Sometimes people on the internet say I look like Boggs from Shocking RedHen RedHeader guy that made him. How about this podcast now?

I'm trying to go. Stay here. Hey, you're talking about Boggs, the lady boys? Yeah, the lady boy. Yeah, Boggs. Look at that. That's me. Some people, someone goes, that's Santino.

There I am. Bro, that's you and Kevin Spacey and one person. That's if I fuck Kevin Spacey. Very. Doesn't that looks like Spacey a little, isn't it? Dude, and he goes. Kevin Space Tino. Now I'm going to give you something to swallow.

I'll give you a swallow it. You get to swallow it. And that's when he's like, oh, I take this ice pick. Well, was it calm? Seaman? Yep. Oh, wow. Yeah, without a doubt.

Because they'll show you what's fully going on. I thought maybe you put a little bit of like, I had a little bit of, you know, some chocolate. That is 100% of me in 15 years. There I am. And the Hutz Morgan Freeman say, he's like, sometimes. Wish I could quit you, boy. No, no, you go, sometimes Andy won. Other times, I hate to say it.

He didn't win. Remember? Yeah, he had to take some. Andy had to take some dick once in a while. Andy got fucked. They beat the shit out of him in that movie theater. Because they couldn't get their dick sucked. They couldn't get their dick sucked.

They couldn't get their dick sucked. They beat the shit out of him. Yeah, but then, but then Andy had the guards whoop his ass and they made it so he drank to a straw for the rest of his life. That's what they said. But not all of them. The homies that bloated loads in his ass. Well, the load ass guys.

That's just going to happen. That's his casualty. Yeah, you did. Prison, bro. It's prison rules. Yeah, this isn't. I hear I'll do my impersonation. How long would you last in prison, dude?

Me? Three days. With that haircut, you'd have to shave your head. I wouldn't shave my head. My head looks bad. I'm going to shave it for. I look like John C. Riley with a shaved head. If you could shave his hair off.

Is that Theo? Very similar, actually. Kind of. Dude, that looks like your dad. Chin can you shop a little mustache goate on him real fast? Holy fuck, dude. I have a mustache. You look, I'm terrible to that, man.

What is it called that you have? You little freak. What's that called? Goateeatty. It's not a goatee. It's not a goate. Goatee would be the full fucking thing. That's a goate.

Again, home. school. I don't have that shit, dude. I got that bottom goate. Isn't it called the sole patch? No, this is the sole patch. Yeah. You got that, that's that redneck. That's that ballers half-tee. That's that fucking, yeah. You got a half-go-tee. That's shoty bait. That's your fucking step-bed.

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Yeah, I've been feeling pretty good, man. What do you weigh? Huh? What do you weigh? Anywhere from a buck, 70 to a buck, probably 90. What do you weigh? Around the holidays, you get up to 190? 2-26.

2-2. What are you? I'm about 240-so. Yeah, you're going to lose it every carnival if you fucking eat. Wow. 226. What are you? Yeah, dude.

What's the math are you used? 104. Common core? 195. I didn't know, I didn't know if it was more muscle or fat lately. 199. Five, bro. What do you think I am?

people that are 195 look like? What am I? What am I 195? What do I look like? 180. 180? What was the exchange rate though on you guys wait?

Wait, how much do you say you wait through? I weigh probably 178. I'm 6.1. I weigh 1 95. You're not 6.1, bro. Do you 1 95? Yes.

Nobody believes you, dude. I don't know. Do you have heavy? You have a steel hip? I got heavy legs. Do you? I mean, he's open of your legs right here. Don't weight it down.

I won't wait it down. I won't hear it natural. It is pretty heavy. 30 pounds. Dude, how much does DeLeo weigh? Because he's about my height, if not taller.

He's 116. 116, but he puts on these pads at night. He puts on fake pads. People need to know that Chris Delanoe does that. He puts on fake weight pads to look to look bigger. And he has an airbrush guy come over to his house and airbrush, so it looks like muscle lines. Yeah.

It's the sad as shit. Well, the dogs aren't even his. The dogs, somebody brings them over his ass to. Every morning. Yeah, those are rental dogs. That's so sad, dude. And you know how that,

you know how the movie sets have fake. fronts to their house and then you go inside and there's nothing look at those are borrowed dogs rentals yeah he's got to give those back up at one in the morning he has to wake up at one a.m. just to get back to the dog. The poor dog. He does. Somebody said that he drinks his opener's blood that got Michael Lenochi with the fat legs. He drinks Lenochie's blood?

Yeah. To stay young bro like a van. And they don't show a lot of pictures of Linotchi from the waist down guys huge legs, outdoors legs, way outdoors like fucking damn. Chin, how much do you weigh? How much do you think? I know how much. How tall of you?

How tall are you? 6-2-ish? 6-3-ish. Okay, so you're... 220. No, he's... 227. Oh, he's 218.

No, he's 204. 2-24. Santino's the closest. 204. What was it? 202. Yeah, I guess 202 first. Did you?

I did, and then I changed it. I think I did. We're not allowed to ask, yeah. We're not allowed to ask, because you can't ask women's weight. Is that right? First of all, I don't really give a fuck. Yeah. But hold on.

Before she answers, I'd wait, Kat. Women are impossible to guess their weight. Especially she's like that. Because she has muscles. I say 97 pounds. I don't know women's weight. I have no idea. She's so offended.

Look at how mad she is. I weigh 130 pounds. What is healthy? 97. What are you talking about? I don't know. Make fun of them and make fun of them. I don't know.

Animals. I don't know. Dogs weight. I don't know what dogs weight. I have no idea. I told you about his map, dude. Yeah, I know. He drew a mountain in the middle of the country.

What mountain ranges out there, you think? Is that the Himalayas? How many states are in the United States? He knows that. He would be 67. I have the same map. Theo's mom drew him. Oh, whatever, dude.

Oh, I'm so smart. Dude, women's weight's fucking impossible to get it. I don't think so. I don't think it matters what women way. I think it matters how they feel. You're a pussy. I do. I expect that with those sweats on.

But here's the thing I'm telling you little twinks that are back at home. You're not getting a girl or whatever. if you want to change your life, save up 10 grand, get a little C-Rotch installed. Dude, all that's... Bro, but here's what I'm saying. Get that. You got a 10 grand. It costs way more than 10 grand to get Jenna reassignment.

No, it doesn't. Way more. Chin looked that up. I've been watching. Go to Mexico. No, dude, it's way more in Mexico, too. Go to Mexico. That's definitely where you don't want to go to get your dick cut off.

No, you didn't get a nose job. No, fucking get a dick for a nose instead. It puts you to sleep, you idiot. They don't just... Yeah, you don't, and you wake up in a bathtub with your, like, organs missing. Yeah, your dick. One. Then they take the other ones.

Dude, it averages 18. No, that's for a nose job. Oh, 100 grand. 100 seeds. Okay. You've never seen the IM Jazz on TLC? A typical gyneoplasty alone. A typical genitoplastia alone, so 18,000 is what you're looking at.

Dude, that's for a nose job, you fucking... Genitoplasti. You think what is on your nose, huh? Red says rhinoplasties. Just as rhino. That's 4,314. A typical genitoplasty costs 18,000. grand. Genitoplasties is not a sex change. Genitoplasti.

By the way, they're always an upcharge. That's like when you go to... The nuts is extra. How much for the nuts is this game? It's got to be more. Well, that's just taking, that's like making more sleep. And it costs more on what you leave with it in. Like, it's like when you get an urn when someone dies. Like, do you want them in a nice urn in a glass one or a box? I'm sure when your dick comes in a thing, it's way more expensive. 18 to start. You guys are not very wise. I'll say this. average cost 17 grand male to female yeah great we just saved a thousand dollars is better this conversation another 10 minutes of discuss won't be at 10 grand where i want to be at

what i'm telling you freaking animals is this dude how much are tits though chin to my point tits are almost free bro you can fucking get a tit anywhere dude that's what i'm saying they give them away now yeah there's a guy down at venice boardwalk that does it if you watch his uh youtube video are you guys a fan of fake titties uh you guys are bitches Dude, dude, you know why? Your girl doesn't have them. Otherwise, you like, yeah, I love them. No, but, no, well, and your girl has them, that's why you love them.

No, hold on. I, wow. Always, yes. I've always loved them. No, not. First of all, I think. I would do one on, one off because I think sometimes you want one and sometimes you don't. Like, there's just the left side.

And I'm not grabbing kids on both. I want them so you can rotate them to the back with real ones. Like, real ones can come and then sometimes you wrote them. Lazy, his wife seems lazy Susan. But I want to say this, though, is that. So listen to your little fellows. If you need your young guy, maybe your bones haven't developed that strong or something,

and you need to get out, you know, things aren't going well at home. For 20 grand, or now it's 17 grand, you can get a gender reassignment. You can get a vagina. You come out here, dude, sell that young ass to some fucking rich boys out here. You can be making 10K a mom. Wait, ass or vagina? You mean sell that young, the j-jay, not ass. But the ass is still there.

You got the ass. No, but why wouldn't you sell the vagina? I wouldn't sell my ass or. I don't sell my ass. That's double, bro. What you mean? You just said you wouldn't be an idiot. Don't realize you're dumb and it's changing.

You're a terrible businessman. You get the sex change and you're selling your asshole. You'll do all that work and you're giving your ass. No, you did. You did. You did. First of all, I've heard so many different stories. You said you go back in time and you would chop off your cock and then you'd suck a bunch of guys off.

You said you're going to blow. First of all, you're not going to give up your ass or your new puss. You just want to blow dudes. about gay sex in here. Dude, you're the one that wants to fucking have a sex change and then give up your asshole. It makes no sense. When Theo gave advice to the young men.

Because I'm saving my vagina for fucking marriage, you idiot. Not everybody's a freaking just giving their pussy away to somebody. You'd be such a whore as a transgender, Theo. You would just be the fucking sleut of ass. I'd be at the library. I would be taking care of myself.

I'd be different, man. What job would you have? Where would you work? Huh? Where would you work? Work for the city, dude. Yeah. Toll booth. A lot of TJs and toll booths. I could see you doing the meter mate.

I can see you doing that ripping tickets. TJs? Troll. A lot of T. He's saying a lot of Tagers. Oh yeah. Dude, I thought it was transgenders when I first heard about it. I know he did.

I thought redheads and fucking saw in their nuts off. I was like, they've been through enough. Well, no. We all are allowed to get it for free. Dude, before you get this sex change, you need to educate yourself. Dude, his face. He can't work in the government. His favorite book is the movie of mice and men.

Okay? I'm not taking any educational advice from you, bro. Both of you guys get a job in teaching. The teachers are on strike. Both of you guys should go teach. Theo can be teaching your fucking seven-year-old right now about transgender fucking toolboot. Sit down, guys.

Why does it have to be that voice? Why would you just say sit-down? Why can't you just talk regular? I'm going to do my same, my natural voice if I'm transgender. God, that's a turnoff if you did. Yeah. Let me hear your transgender voice. All right. Hey guys, I'm Robin. And I'll be your guide for today. So I'm going to dim the lights a little bit because my fucking blood starts to boil because I've had so many bad pills in my body. So I'm going to go take a nap. You guys teach yourselves. It's figured out.

Yeah, that's a good guide. Wow, man. Where were you showing? What was the guide for? Well, I was a teacher. I'm a study. I'm a teach student. I'm a study hall. Let me hear your voice if you got transgender surgery.

See, I would go opposite. I'd get a deep voice kind of, hey, everybody. It's Gina here. You'd be a Gina. Gina. Gina's my mom. I didn't be an asshole. It's Gina here, and I teach geology.

See, I'd go opposite. Because I feel like it's fucked up. and to go opposite and do that. Of course he's going to go with the female voice. I feel like that's true. And it's fun enough. Brenna said Gina.

And I teach him geology. And he didn't think of any he had, there was no, his brain was like geology. He had a fucking say with Gia. Geology. Yeah. Dude, you did just the most obvious of female voice.

Hey guys, this is Robin. No, I'm teaching. Hey guys, this is Robin. I'm Theo. I'm gay. Shit. What would you do, Santino? I'd stick with the same voice. I wouldn't tell anybody I did it. It'd be me.

With the bears? I go, hey, guys, it's me. And you play for the bears? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And you'd be Jay Cutler. I'd be Jimmy J. Cutler. Jimmy J.

Cudler, if you'd have got a sex change, everybody would have understood his stats. I will say that, too. That would make sense, I guess. Sorry, man. I'm a huge Trubisky fan. I never liked Jay Cudler. Why is Jay Culler get so much fucking hate, man?

His attitude. He's a rich kid. He's a rich kid. Girl. Who played for Duke? Who plays that bad? He's the Christian Leitner of fucking the NFL. No, not as much. Christian Leitner of the NFL would probably be somebody like, it's got to be somebody that was kind of like, because Leinner was kind of a bad boy a little bit. That's true.

Like he came off as a tough boy. And later was good. Yeah, he was good. Color was good in Denver. Color was really good in Denver. He was really good in Denver than he was in Chicago. He's just a wild card. He's looking right there. You know he has a show on Ewe about with his girl, Kristen Cavalary from L.C. He married the girl from the M's TV show.

Yeah, he way out kicked his coverage too. But we might have nice eyes. So here's the thing about Jay Colour. On that show, he's the star. Is he? Yeah, because as the camp is around him. No, people love him because he's funny. Yeah.

On the show, he's funny. Oh, well, maybe he'd watch him. Yeah, me too. I thought he was a complete moron. He's a cutie. You watch the show and you're like, oh, fuck, he's actually pretty cool. I don't like that picture of him right there, though, but otherwise, he's a cutie. Here's a thing.

When I'm looking at pictures of them together, or I can't even fucking see that, dude, his wife is fine, bro. Dude, you got to chub in the sweats, you got a chub? Dude, I'm not getting an erection in the fucking pants My grandfather died in you. Oh, fuck. You're on that warm and looks like Christina Cavalieri. Yeah, Jay Coutler, that show actually helped them.

Most people were making fun of him. He didn't want to do it. And then the few times they showed him, fans loved him because he's funny. And then they're featuring more and more. Yeah, well, I get that. You know what I mean? He's got a lot of these guys want to get into reality TV now. That's like a big thing with NFL players.

I would dump in her. Whoa, look at how young kids. Go back two pictures. Look at how young Cutter looks there. Unbelievable. That's insane. Wow, man. That's wild.

Dude, do you think Jay Keller just stays off social media because people are so mean to him? I don't think why people are so mean to that guy. People are so mean to everybody on social fucking media.

Yeah, but Jay Cutler, he's winning in life. The more famous and popular anybody gets, especially when you have a beautiful wife, they're gun of shit on you. Yeah.

They just want to. It's like people want to do that. What movie premiere is that that they keep fucking showing? She was in a movie. Unless it's Sharknato 7. But Jay Cutler never acted like he cared.

That's what I felt. But there's a lot of guys like that in the NFL that come and they go and they don't really give a fuck because they got their money. He was also never going to be a superstar. Sometimes these guys know they're not going to be a superstar so they're like, whatever, dude. But also he gets paid and he's like, fuck this, man. Like they get jaded. And he's like, all right, fuck this. This sucks.

Yeah. We have their money. Jay Cotler celebrate. What did that say, Jen? Their third wedding anniversary. I love them more and more every day. That's impossible. When do you run out of love?

I got to go, guys. I love you, dude. Are you going to do your show right now? Um, New Year's show? It's New Year's, it's already January. Oh, course. What? Is it really? Yeah.

January what? Huh? What are you doing? Dude, stay transgender, brother. You guys gonna fucking eye erupted? That's what it seems like. Stay transgender, bro. Are you jealous?

You could fool the fuck out of me. Well, don't ask me on getting an erection in my grandfather's way. I didn't fucking say that. Keep doing that yoga so you lose the tits out the front. Have a good day. Quit looking at my nice butt, too. You guys are a creak. Let me see.

Pull up the back of your shirt. It's not terrible. That's all right. You get the ass of Jay Cutler. Both of you guys look really not good. You're okay looking. Thanks, dude. Really?

I'm getting out of here. Look. I'm getting out of it. I'm not looking. That's not an ass. Is it any good? Wow, bro. It gives up at the bottom.

It's a little flat, bro. No, I'm pinching. Well, look, when I go like that. Look at it. It's a fast. Look at it now. Look at it now. How does that look now?

Bad. It's kind of flat. Oh. What are you in? That's not bad. Bro, it's the gay... It looks like it wants a drink. You know, it's the gayest...

You know what it's been inside in here? Huh? Nobody. Yeah, right. Nobody. Yeah, right. Nobody. And you'll never get an invitation by the way.

Whatever Louis C.K. You look like Louis C.K. Uh, easy joke. Easy joke. Too easy. Easy and shitty joke. You're better than that. Still good, dude.

No, it's not. Uh-huh. No, it's not. Just because you're a redhead? It's a redhead. It's a redhead. That's not. What a compliment you just gave me

Yeah, you're an idiot Later, brother No, don't call me brother, dude Dude, I spoke very highly of you today Take it easy, cousin Oh, really? Yeah Yeah, go watch the episode

And see if that's true Sorry, guys, good luck with the surgeries, guys Bye, bye cat He's a sweet kid He's a good one He's a sweet kid But you know, I get concerned about him Do you?

Yeah His mental health? Uh-huh Me too Something's missing Oh, in a big way. Like a couple of chromosomes. Oh, yeah.

I get so nervous about that guy walking the streets. I get nervous about him. He's either going to go two directions. He's either going to go the Heath Ledger or Steve Jobs. You know, there's no middle with him. He's going to be like, what's his name, McAfee, that lived off on that island and did weird shit, like made girls poop on him and then be friend of the cops and bought him all guns. That's going to be Theo for sure. You know what he's going to do?

He's going to be the guy who gets super religious and tries going to that Satan island and tries to give them fucking Bibles and shit. Oh yeah, I might do that shit, actually. It sounds like a good time. I think when you get rich, you find religion again because you get so rich that you got to believe in something. But here's the thing, you want to outdo all the other billionaires. So fuck climbing Everest. You want to go to that Satan Island and see what's up, bro. Oh, yeah.

Just no one survived it. Yeah, that's true. And take pictures with your cell phone and stuff and, like, having fun with him and drinks. See if you can get in and get out? Yeah. Maybe. But then also it's kind of like, well, that has to be the end of your life. I can do that shit when I'm like 80.

You're not fast enough at 80. If you train for it. at 80? If you train your whole life. Take steroids? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to start taking steroids

in my late 60s. You're going to wait to your 60? Yeah, because I just feel like then I don't care if I die. I feel like you have a lot of energy. I do. I have a ton of energy. Yeah.

So that's right. Like now I'll be good. So 60 I'll slow down. Steroids and I'm good. Steroids and I'm back and I'm like right back to it. I know I have too much fucking energy. Half of these fans think I'm on drugs.

People say Santino's on something. No. I feel like most people think comics are on drugs. Well, like, Delea, people think Delea's always on shit. He's the most sober person I know. He's actually never had a... He doesn't do drug. Look at that. What did that say? It's better to take drugs when you get older. See? Look at that. Yeah. Getting older, gets put on hold for a while. That's right. Look at how to Jack that fucking dude is. That's going to be me. I don't know if he has some big ass hands. I want to be award-winning jack when I'm 90.

I can't believe Callan has none steroid yet. He's so obsessed with the male body and big dudes, I just can't believe he hasn't done it yet. Is he still doing that thing where he's buying guys online to come over, just scared him for a long time? Yeah, he's still doing that. You know what, now he has money, so he's paying for multiple ones. Look at that, dude, that's going to be me. That's Santino.

Hopefully not with that lip. Wait, what happened to his face? I know. Probably had a stroke then got on steroids. That's like if he dropped a weight on his face. He was like, still getting jail. I'll fucking work through this workout, dude. Yeah, he looks tough. Dude, you know when people at the gym, I don't go to gyms anymore? Oh, my. Wow. You, bro.

That's me, dude. Wow, that guy's Jack. Santa. He has acne on his abs. Damn, those aren't abs. That's when it looks really weird. It looks like,

like, uh, Play-Doh bulging through his body. Because he's on human growth hormone, so it makes all your organs grow too. So you get like that power gut. I know, but that vein is so tight. That bicep vein is hilarious.

That's sexy, bro. Yeah. So much blood pump with the cat. You don't like that? Oh, come on. He's too muscular for you? The veins is what creeps me out. You don't like it?

Some chick's going to, Like veins. Some chicks like vainy dudes. Yeah. No, mine looks like a roadmap. I'm out. Do you have veins? Do you have a lot of veins? Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Like a tree branch. You think veins are gross? Not necessarily gross when they pop out a little too much. Like they look like they're going to burst. Yeah. Like that? That looks like it's going to pop. Yeah, but he just got his pump on. Same thing with like skinny dudes who have their veins popping out. That bothers me too. Sometimes you can see a couple dicks with a strong root vein in it. I don't know how we go. Are you a vainy guy?

I have a vein you can see pretty clear when I'm A booing But it's not thick It's kind of a skinny Kind of I have one vein on my dick And it and it candy canes around my penis all the way around Oh wow

Yeah like a barbershop sign That's my cock It's a perfect You know what I just realized Theo brought up all this trans stuff I know We're gonna get so much shit because Theo We were having a nice time

Then Theo coming to talk about transgender And then he made it sound like He made it negative For all the fans at home I didn't fucking say anything negative about the trans community. I want to put that out there because I fucking, I don't like getting roped into shit when it sounds like I said something bad.

When it was Theo. And you know what? I came in this dude with that. Let's not talk about dicks today, Brendan. Can you do that? Impossible. Is my New Year's resolution? Then Theo just brings it out of me.

He started it. I know. He started all that talk. Dude, let's change us up. How's your podcast going? How's the whiskey? Whiskey ginger is good. Whiskey ginger is good.

We, uh, we just another. You kind of a whole, you revamped everything, huh? Yeah. Well, I'm shifting studios now, too. because I'm going to be up at Tom Segura's place. I'm going to be at your mom's house. Well, not my mom.

I'm going to be at your mom's house. Oh, cool, man. Well, she lives in Aurora, so. I'm already there right now. Mentally, I'm there. Okay. Physically, I'm here. I've been walking around in this body,

but I left my mind with your mom a long time ago. I got to tell you, she is a genius. She's smart, she's sweet, she's sexy. Okay. She can cook. Oh, well. I've got to tell you, she can cook for you.

She cook up something for me. Dude, so you're with Tom Seguro, you're with, Seguerrilla launched a network, yeah? Yeah, well, kind of. It's like we're doing it at the studio, at your mom's house studio. So it's me. At his house, though. No, no, we have a studio space.

Did he build his own studio? I don't want to leak too much info, but yeah, we got a studio. Oh, sorry. No, no, I know. So is he still doing it out of his old place or no? No. Oh, it's all. Everything's out the new studio.

Me, Ryan Sickler, there's him and Christina's, and Dr. Drew. Oh, wow. is like the mini little network, I guess, of whatever. I'm surprised Bert's not with him. They're best buds. Yeah, but Bert does his own thing out of his own house and all that shit. You know what I mean? Bert's buying his studio, his own studio.

Is he? Yeah. Damn. We should have just bought an airplane hanger all of us and put him in the same place. We should just buy an airplane hanger at Santa Monica Airport. Yeah. And all of us being one. Because all of us could fit in Rogans if we wanted to.

But you have so many moving pieces. You can't be in Rogans because... You'd have to have your own... You'd need your own spot. Like, what Showtime did for me is they built my own studio. So I have King. this thing there with Theo and I. Then I have below the belt there.

We're going to go firing the kid there. They'll have access to it any time. Yeah, but no, you can do that with an airplane hanger. We could all have access to that shit. And then you change out sets. You can't do it with Rogan because he needs somewhere to bow hunt inside. He needs like 150 yards to fucking bow. Dude, you could do an airplane hanger, but you just build like 10 studios there and have

a whole network. We're all under the same network. Yeah. Somebody should do it. Somebody get on it. You have too many big dogs, though, because I'm not going a percentage of my shows. Yeah, you want to keep a lot doing his shows. Yeah, it's true.

Rogan's like, get the fuck out of my. face. DeLeah's like, suck my day. Maybe we'll be under the chin network. You're gonna, will you do it for us? Hell yeah. We're gonna call it chin chin.

That's a, that already exists, dude. Oh, fuck. We're gonna call it chin ups. I'm gonna call it Chin's house. Whose house? Chin's house. That's gonna be it.

What about the chin and cat network? Chin cat. Chat. Careful. Chin cat. Careful. Careful. Cat chin.

Careful. Careful, careful. Careful, careful. What did you? It should be called. Cat chin cat. Catching Cats? Catching Cats Network?

How about? Catching cats, chin. Chinny, chin, kin-kin. Kidney, chin, chin, and chin, chin. Easy. Now I'm a cat. I'm a goddamn cat. Oh, well.

All right. Who's more racist? Brendan? Or Callan? Who's more racist? That's a good question. But you both know. That they're both racist.

But who's more racist? Cat? You got this? Percentage-wise. Who tells the most racist jokes out of the two of them? Who counts of pussy? He's scared to hurt people's feelings. I'm not.

That should answer your question right there. So he's more racist, yes. Not racist. Outwardly, probably Brendan, but internally, probably Brian. Brian, because he grew up rich. Rich. Yes, rich people are always racist. So he judges the other ones.

Rich people are very racist usually. The most. So many rich people are like that. That's not true. I'm friends with all the people that work for me that are of color. friend. Yeah. I say that.

That's why I know you're racist. I don't like I'm going to say of color. When someone's like, they're of color. That's very strange. I think African-American sounds racist, by the way. Whenever somebody says that, I'm like, are you racist? But can you say black? Black is fine.

No. Do you have any black friends? If you whisper black, that's a problem. Any black dude I know would say, you're white on black. And if I said, my friend, my friend Mark, and if someone goes, is it black guy, I wouldn't go, I would go, yeah, yeah, Mark. I know. I know.

No, but I think because it just comes off racist when someone goes, he's African American. Or you know what even sounds about when somebody goes, he's Afro American. I'm like, ooh, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, that's, that's touchy. What do you own a plantation? I don't know where to go with that when they say African-American. What about Asian-American though? That sounds so standard.

No, Asian's fine. I feel like Asians are the only ones that you can really joke about race anymore. Because they're cool about it. No, that's not true. Mexicans are cool as fuck. Me and, me and Hazu-Treyho, we joke. He's good at joking around about Asso's great. He's also a comic. Outside

Comics are all cool about it. But all people are weird outside of comics then. Like anybody gets uncomfortable about everything. You know? Comics are, yeah, in this world. If you enjoy comedy and you're somebody that has like a sense of fucking humor doesn't take everything serious, yeah, you're going to be fine with making jokes.

I think like the average person has to be aware and almost on their toes about being offensive because they're afraid of losing their job and shit. Correct. When's last time someone said something that offended you about being Asian, Kat? Nothing really offends me. The only time is when people think it's like too buddy-buddy-buddy. I have friends who'll joke around and call me Ling-ling, which is fine.

It's just a problem. They call you what? Lingling. What is that? Lingling, like a generic, like stereotypical, like Asian name. Oh, is that a bad connotation from Asian? I thought that was a character from like a movie. Yeah, exactly.

It's like caricature, kind of like a Chun Lee type of thing. I thought it was like a noodle. Like a Ling-ling. You call Lingling's like Asian girls. Look, is Lingling a company that exists? Oh, probably. Dude, who is Lingling up above that? Frozen Asian, what did it say?

Frozen Asian? Entres. Okay. So Lingling's like calling, is that like calling a Mexican a wetback? No, it's not offensive. It's just one of those things where... That is offensive. The wetback is offensive.

Ling is not. No, it'd be like calling a Mexican a beener. Okay. Also offensive. Same thing. Yeah. Yeah, both offensive. How many more can you do?

just crop me out of this show no I don't mean beater I mean I just fucking I keep going Look at that Ling Ling is

Enjoy our delicious Asia inspired appetizers and entrees Can I tell you something though The second person That picture is a white woman This is obviously a white person's company

That they brand is Look it's an Asian person making the food It's a white person enjoying it Oh That's what they're selling it Just keep scrolling But look it out This is everything about this is

Philosified That's a white guy's hand That's a white guy's That's a white guy's hand, is it not? That's a white man's hand holding on the depotons. And there's also a barbecue sauce, bottom right corner. That's fake. Dude, for sure, this is a white guy who made a fake Asian company.

Call it Lingling. Click on his story. Let's see his story. I'm from Omaha, Nebraska, but I've always loved Asians. My name's Dave. Oh, look at that. It is an Asian family. What do you know?

Clarence. Taiwan. His name is what? Clarence. He grew up in San Francisco. Clarence is not an Asian guy's name. There's no way. Clarence.

Have you ever heard of that? Ever? No. You have a cat? Yeah, it's like when Asians come and they have American versions of their names, like they have their traditional like Chinese or like Venomian name, but they nobody can pronounce it. So they're like, oh, my name is David.

I know, but David, I've heard Clarence. But some people don't know like normal names. They're like, oh, I like the way Clarence sounds. See, I usually think they've heard it on a TV show. Like sometimes I've heard that, that like a friend of mine, her family was from Russia and they got, they learned English from American television. and they named their kids after people from TV shows. Because you hear it all the time.

Because they think that's normal here. Well, yeah, it sounds like it's like, oh, that must be what everyone's name is. They're idiots. Everyone's name is Gilligan. And you're like, mm-mm, that was one guy, one show one time. One show one time. This is our child Gilligan. That's our son, McGiver.

It's like, oh, boy. That's Magnum over there, P.I. So Lingling is inherently racist. No, I think it's just one of those jokes that I don't appreciate people calling me if they don't know me. I mean, it sounds annoying. Can your friends call you Lingling? Yeah, I'm fine with my friends, but it's like... So if you come in tomorrow, I'm like, what's up, Ling Ling?

Yeah, I don't give fun. Yeah, but Cat is such a cool short name already. You don't need a... Wait, is Cat. Is Cat? Cat isn't my actual name. You gave me that nickname, because you couldn't pronounce my actual name. Really?

I gave me that nickname. Dude, how do you not remember that? Dude, how do you not remember that? That's insane that you don't remember giving her that nickname. How do you not know that? Life's moving fast, man. You're the only person... Chins real name is Barthalamew.

You're the one who calls you cat? feel like it fits. What's your real name? Catteen. Ooh, I like that a lot. Cat teen's cool, but cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat. Cat, what's up, cat? I feel like, I feel like, I shopped to this in bed one night at home. He's like, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat. Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat.

I always touch, I'm like, what's up with a cat with the emoji of a cat? What's up, cat? Meow. Yes, so I do. And what should we call Bartholomew? Chin. Chin's real name is actually a Beauregard. Beauregard, Whitaker the third.

Bo regard. Franklin. Jin, Jin Su. Chin Su. Chin Su's your first name? I changed it to Chin. Like she says, when we moved to America, my friends couldn't say gin. So they just said, oh, Chin, Chin, so I just changed it to Chin when I was legalized.

They couldn't say gin? Gin sounds real easy. They would call me Jim or Chin. But they want to say, chim? Because they didn't hear you right. Yeah. I would say gin, gin, gin. And you got tired of it.

Gin? Gin. They would say chin. Like, J-I-N. J-I-N. Yeah, Jin. What's wrong with gin?

The kids didn't say gin. Your kids are... But you're seeing it happen right now. That just took like two minutes for that to happen. Jin, Jen, Finn? So I call you Jin Chin now? Jin-Soo. Jing-yi?

Jin-su. You always say your first and middle name. So mine's just Jin-su. Chin, when's the last time someone, maybe it was traffic, maybe you were at a restaurant, once the last time someone did something racist? racist? racist towards you. Racist?

That hurt. hurt your feelings. Or you were like, God, damn. I remember a ton when I was younger, but not in the long time.

What was it when you were young? What was the main thing? Oh my God. They just pointed out my face. Really? Pointed on my face. Oh, you have tiny eyes or small eyes. They said pan face.

Pan face. Which is a hard one. That's a tough one. That's not like classic Korean thing. Pan face. I don't think I've ever heard that. You haven't? You've heard that?

You've heard that? Pan face. I've never heard of that. Spoon face. Spoon face is weird. You can just go through the kitchen cabinet. Dude, I'm telling you, where I come from, they... Skillinghead. I heard one kid's call them a... You fuck off, forked face.

Kids, you just make up mean things to say. Eat it, butter knife. I couldn't, I heard so many fucking annoying, fire crotch, opi. That's standard. A fire crotch, opie, um, red-headed fat. A pepperoni head because I also had pimples. It was worse. It was like a pimpled redheaded kid. I mean, that's why it says I was like, you know. What about Big Red? Big Red's kind of endearing. I call myself Red. Big Red, the chewing gum, though, you know? Anyone call you hot sauce? Hot sauce is cool, too.

I don't mind any of that stuff. See, I didn't name you hot sauce. Hot sauce. Hot sauce. Hot sauce. There's hot sauce coming in, y'all. Pick them hot sauce. No, it was always older kids that thought it was funny to make fun of me in front of

chicks. No, it was actually in front of dudes. That's weird. Because chicks still have sympathy their whole lives. Men don't get sympathy. But like girls, even when they're young, they see someone being mean. They don't like it. They're like, oh, that's mean.

It's not a way to win over a girl. No, chicks don't like. dudes are assholes to make other dudes laugh. Correct. It's a bonding thing, right? Yeah, exactly. It's like the way comics that we, but like, if I walk in with fucking leopard pants on, I'm going to get roasted. You're going to get lit the fuck up.

But that's the way we bond. But that's because we're friends. But when people are being like racist, like when someone said that to Chin, when somebody said pan face, he's trying to make somebody else laugh by being mean to him. Correct. But never, never because of a girl. No, never. Never, never. A girl would never go, oh, that guy that picks on everybody is so cute.

Dude, did you hear Jeremy called the Asian pan face? I'm going to suck him off. I love that guy. That never happens. Ever bullies. But there was, it was a fire crotch or, or, or, or, uh, Opie. It was actually Opie, you know, Opie Taylor. Yeah, Ron Howard.

That was actually, um, he was killing it. That was at me, elementary school. That was always, uh, the older black kids would say that to me. But it was, it was a term of endearment. So like, it didn't hurt my feelings, but it did annoy me. Yeah, it would be annoying. Because I didn't like it. He's not like he's a badass.

No, but they would always go, hey, well, stop. Opie, here come Opie. Like older black dudes would always do that. That's kind of cool. What's up? Opie? Yeah, but they're mocking me. Yeah, but also you're Opie.

But it's cool that the black guys noticed me. Yeah. Like, yo, Opie is it's enduring. Here come to Opie. So Panface, what else, Chin? That's not, I mean, it's not good. Shab is going to have a soundbite collection of every racist thing he said on here on this episode.

It's going to be someone's going to super cut it. You know what made, who made jokes a lot were Mexicans. About you? Yeah. So, no, about Asians. And did you come back with the fire because they're Mexican? Really? Did you get a lot of heat from Mexicans too? No, I grew up with a lot of Mexicans, so it's just kind of like our way of bonding.

But was there an inherent battle between you two? We add long attention. Really? Mexicans and Asians? Hell yeah. I thought it was Mexican and blacks hated each other. Asians and Mexicans went crazy. So many sound bites on this episode.

Yeah, it was Mexicans and blacks. I'm just curious. I grew up as Mexicans and blacks. hated each other. Now, my era, though, when I was in high school, Mexicans were, like, at war with the Asian guys. But then my best friends were Mexican, too, so it was just whatever. So what else would they call you?

There's a little song that they did. Oh, my God. They had a whole... They had a song just to hate on Asians. And how would it go? What? Chino, Chino, Japanese, Comeyaka, Nomades. You never heard of this?

Chino, Chinese, Japanese, Japanese. Japanese. Japanese. Japanese. Japanese. Japanese. What's that mean? Something like Chinese, Chinese, Japanese, eat my shit, I don't care.

Something like that. Well, it's not very creative. No, it's, it's, it's, it's, hell yeah, everyone would, eat my shit, they would be yelling and screaming that. It doesn't matter. Chinese, eat my shit, that's terrible. Because it rhymes and stuff, you know? Oh, it's awful.

Not, not like a, you of course never ate any of their shit. Never, not once. See, these guys, these guys, keep pushing it on you. It's like, I'm going to eat your fucking shit, dude. They're pushed that narrative. It's like, I'm going to eat your turd. It is really funny for someone to say, eat my shit and then say, I don't I don't care.

Yeah. That's how hardcore they were. Should have been like, eat my shit, please. Eat my shit. I'd like to see you do it. Yeah. But instead, eat my shit,

I don't care. Well, if you're indifferent, I'm not going to eat your shit. Don't push your phony agenda on me. That's a weird agenda. I can't think of anyone in anyone we hang out with who's legit like racist towards people. No, because they hide it.

I remember there was a kid. I'm not going to mention names, but we were in middle school. Oh, good thing you don't say his name. Well, dude, because I don't, I'm sure people watch this stuff from, the guys I went to high school with too.

But like, this kid had said, this kid had said to this other black kid, he said, I know why you're mad at me. Because I'd invite you to my party. And he says, he's like, no, I don't like your fucking ass anyway. And then the kid said, yeah, you know why I'd invite you? Because I don't want any ends at my mom's house. Oh, wow.

He's trying to hurt him. And he punched this kid so fucking, I'm not kidding. The black kid punched the other kid. Yes. Dude, he hit this kid so fucking hard. in the face. I remember watching it thinking he's dead. He killed him.

I swear to God, he hit him so fucking hard. He fell backwards. I was like, he killed him. What was he thinking about? I mean, what a dumb ass. I think he thought he wouldn't hit him. I think he thought he was chumping up on him because he was a little bit bigger than him. I think he thought he's not going to fucking swing at me.

Fuck him. Dude, his nose opened up like the fun, like the Moses part of it. He was like blood everywhere. He bounced back up and was like, my face and every even the kid that hit him kind of stood there in awe

no we were out of the playground you couldn't run anywhere but I remember like everyone stood there like whoa like no one had ever seen to punch that solid because he hit him

right on the nose it wasn't a side it was like a fucking straight got sixth sixth grade yeah that's some shit hit him so fucking hard and it was over like

four square remember four square it was over like a four square game and it all started from them arguing and it all started from them arguing and it was

invite you my party because I don't want to N-word at my mom's house. That's so... And he shattered his universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bad, bad, bad. That's what you get, dude. Don't call some of the N-Word. You're going to get knocked the fuck out. Let's go some current events. Yeah, get knocked the fuck out when you're racist. Yeah, that happens. It tends to happen.

Maroon 5, Travis Scott, Big Boy, performing the Super Bowl for a halftime show. So the lineup for the Super Bowl halftime show has finally been confirmed. They got Travis Scott and Big Boy. However, Travis Scott made a deal with the NFL that they had to donate a certain amount of money to organizations that promote social justice. Oh, that's cool. Because I guess Jay Z, right, because all the black artists wanted to protest against the NFL.

Yeah, did Big Boy do that too? Well, a lot of them wanted to protest against it. And Jay Z even went to Travis Scott. I was like, dude, don't perform there. The NFL's fucked up. Apparently Travis Scott was like, kick rocks, camel. Well, but that's the irony. The league is still filled with black athletes.

The majority. Yeah. So to say not to perform is like saying they're not going to play. Like, okay, well, first of all, it's still a business that's happening. So for a black musician, a black artist, they should do that. It's just go, word, I'll perform. You also got to give money to a thing that I want you to give money to. That's what they're doing.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, this is the balance for, I get how Jay-Z is like, yo, we have to, we should hold up like our black voices. And you know what I mean? Like, I'd have a standard. I get that. But also, like, get some fucking money out of the NFL. Fuck them. Be like, yeah, pay me and pay this organization. Correct. But also, the NFL employs, how many black people?

Like, they're not just the enemy, you know? Like, they do a lot of good as well. Well, yeah, but the problem that people have is the way that the NFL handled all that shit. You know what I'm saying? Colin Kaepernick? Yeah, well, and the wave thereafter. I think people were mad at the way NFL handled it. They all could have handled it better.

People want a Maroon 5. Like, how can Maroon 5 perform there? How dare you? Maroon 5 wants donations to Loreel hair care products so he can keep changing his First of all, I'm a huge Maroon 5 fan. You're a big time Maroon guy? Love Adam. Okay, sure. And Big Boy, I think he's fine.

I don't know. They don't miss. They have so many jams. Nick, give me one right now. Wait. There's that movie, the show, Wait. Sing it. Wait.

See, that's a song. What about the main song right now? That's a song that I hear in line at Starbucks, and I leave because I don't even feel like getting the coffee. Oh, you don't want to get your coffee? I'm like, that fucking... What about the one with the women, where they have all the women in the video?

Type in fucking room five. Oh, girls like you. Girls like you. Give it to me. Give me the tune. God, I know you know it. She knows it. I know it.

My son, it's his favorite movie video. All right, I'm sorry, music video. Girls like you. And it has Cardi B in it. it does Dude, play this fucking jam Hopefully we're gonna say He's gonna get it

Yeah You know this Nope I can't get down with it Starbucks I can't get down I order more I don't like a

For hours Any more Pass Pass Turn this off right I'm dead's here Turn this is so terrible Oh

The weekend Oh Dude Dude Hold on Go to my Instagram page Tell me to like this song when you see this little girl singing it.

Is it your kid? Nope. If your kid is being cute singing, I'm going to like it. That's your little daughter right there. That's my pedophile friend. Yeah, that girl's sitting on that guy's head. For real, the CTE was such a funny caption. That made me laugh so fucking hard.

The NFL doesn't have to worry about helmets. Worry about these guys who are getting sad on by these women. Worry about these freaks are getting fucked like this. Dude, how about the girl with that giant ass, DM me. It was like, hey, you need to give me credit for that video. I was like, excuse me? How did you, did you not, what do you mean? Didn't you, didn't you tag who, where you found it?

I found it barstool. Yeah, from barstool. You credit in the place you found it. Correct. You're not going to go through all the fucking 90 channels of who the apartment complex is like, hey, you need to give us a shout out. Also, I think the guy getting destroyed should be the one concerned about getting tagged.

Dog, look at her jump. Seven inch vert, son. Actually, for her weight, that's pretty fucking good. You do. Have you seen the ones where the guys They get farted They make them fart in their mouth? These girls, they fart right in their face

These dudes love that shit No way Yes, dude, that's a big thing on the internet now No The internet is that porn I mean, what's the difference at this point? Isn't all the internet porn? Everything I look at

But I feel like that guy Where is the cute little girl? I want to see her for a second Is it all the way down? It's a while ago, right? Is it that far down? I think so. You know what I really saw that was really cute is the three generations.

Did you see that one? Well, there it is. Three generations? Dude, now talk shit about Adam Levine after this. Go ahead. Is that a biohazard tattoo on that guy's arm? Yeah, it is, bro. So he shouldn't have a child.

Well, let's hate. It's very cute, dude. You know what? It's very cute. I can't make fun of this man and his beautiful daughter because it's good for them. I'm going to still make fun of Adam for making a bad song. Dude, Adam, he's my shave, bro. Look, I'm sure he's a great guy.

I don't like that stuff. He's so goddamn. Hey, Adam, if you're out there, you'll never ever see this or hear this. I bet you're an awesome dude. I bet you're the best. I don't like, I don't like Maroon Five. Wow. I'm sorry, it's just not for me.

Really? Who do you like? What can the music you listen? Jazzy, hack, extraction, snaf. Those guys are great. Do you know them? I know. You know Marcus Pooler and the Coolers?

Do you know those guys? Nope. Don't know them. Are they on iTunes? The electric light sockets. Do you know deep inside the manhole? They're good. They're out of Tennessee.

Okay. Is that a punk band? They're like a punk fuck band. They're like a punk band. They fuck boy band. They fuck boy bands and then they write songs about it in punk. I'm into that. What do I listen to?

I don't know. Isn't it weird? When someone goes, what do you listen to? I can't tell you. I listen to so much shit. Yeah. I don't know. I listen to Clarence Carter on the way here.

Clarence Carter. You know who that is? No, are you 74? Yeah, I'm 105. Yeah, dude, I like Motown. Did you smoke a cigar? I like Motown. Did you drive in a fucking Clarence Carter?

Dude, he has such a good song called Too Week to Fight. Two week to fight. Listen to me, baby. Two week to fight. How old are you? 64. Look at that. Stroking. Habi stroking.

Stroke it to the left. Do you know this? Broke it to the right. He's the king. Hold on. He's the fucking king. Clarence Carter. You fucks with Clarence Carter, but not Adam Levine?

First of all, do I fuck with like a dope dude from Motown? Yeah, do I fuck with Adam Levine and Maroon 5? No, I don't think they're in the same category, dude. Look at that. Dude, look at that. He's not even blind. Fuck this guy. Play a song for me, Tim.

That's a violin. That's how small he is. Dude. And this kind of means you listen to. So dope. I just said I listen to. Here, no. Stroking, not this one.

Stroken. That is a great song. There's a lot of him. Go down. Go to, uh, oh, slip away is such a good song. Go up, go up, go up. Um, do, do slip away. Do you see from the Commodores? Do slip away. The second one. The second one. The one that says slip away, Chin. I know. Play this. Oh, turn it, turn it. This makes you want to rob a bang. Bro. Shit.

For just a few moments. All right. I kind of like this. I feel like we're the blues brother. I feel, I picture you in a Ford Taurus, like a 94 Ford Taurus and just jamming out to this. Smoking a cigarette headed to Vegas. Yeah. I want to see you right now. Fuck yeah. Look, right here, this is the best part.

Dude, he is good. Damn, dude. Dude, it's pretty good. What he's saying, he's saying, so the lyrics are amazing. What he's saying, slip away. He's talking about a woman who's with another man and he's jealous. And he says, can you slip away just for a moment? Can I have you just from all?

Is he super famous? But you have to love... You know who is, Jen? This is the first time I heard it. God is really good. You would have to appreciate that era of music. Like, I love Motown. My father loves Motown.

He loved Carolina Beach music. So I love this shit. I love this shit, dude. Like Otis Redding. Like Backstreet Boys or Train or... You think I'm into Train? To me, you seem like a death cap for cutie train type of life. No, dog.

I'm into Motown. But what do I like that? That's new? Okay, here. because people make fun of me. Well, that one was fucking good. I'll give you that. That was nice.

I like, dude. Get stroking for me. I like funk and soul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like Bruno Mars? He's very good. He's so talented. He's so good, but I just, it's just like a lot of it's too like, showtime, old time, get a day.

You're Taylor Swift guy. No, dude. I can't read you, bro. I'm missing here. You're missing by a mile. All right, let me look upon some of the stuff in here. All right, here we go. Ready?

Here we go. There's a little, little Wayne, a little wheezy in here. Andrew Bird Chicago artist Never heard of them Cunning linguists which is a hip hop group Never heard of them

What else would you know TV on the radio I like them I can Yeah but I like music Ludovitio Anaudi Who is a classical pianist bro I am diverse

You are dude I'm diverse dude Dude hit the Beatles Van Morrison Never heard of them Back Big boy shout out Dude Nas

I like everything. If it's good, I like it. But you don't like anything new or current, it sounds like. You don't like the new shit. I mean, I like new, like, what? New what? Like pop music? Like, like Takashi 6-9? Little pump? I don't like Takashi and his six. I don't like guys who do that stuff that he does with his hair and all that shit.

It's too much. He's a grown-up, dude. You're a grown-up. Cut that, cut that fucking childish bullshit out. Yeah, that's fair. Hey, way, fucking rainbow. Bro, cut it out. You're Kanye West fan. I love, I love Kanye's music regardless of. of his political views.

I can separate the artist and the person. I know people are so mad about fucking Kanye and the MAGA hat. I fucking, I like his music. Get the fuck out of here.

I love. Labor registration was a great album. So was, I mean, every album I love. I like his old shit a lot. And I like some of his new shit too.

Me too. But who, but who, oh, whose new rap that I like? Um, I think, uh,

you look like a machine gun Kelly guy. No. I'm just off here. You're throwing so many fucking bad, I like. Stop here. I like Pusha T. I thought his album was phenomenal.

Okay. Do you know Push-a-T? I do know Pusher T. Pusher T. Pusher. I know Mr. Pusher T. I'm familiar with a Pusher T. I know the push-push.

But I love Motown. I love that era. I think funk and soul that were birthed from like from Motown. God, your lucky Callan's not here right now. He would give you a history lesson on Motown. But I love that shit. I love that shit. You don't know people online say that I look like Callan's kid?

No. People like, you're going to be Callan in 10 years, 15, 20. I go, first of all, I'm 35. Callan's the inverse plus 10. Correct. He's 63. I'm never going to look like that guy, okay? Ever.

Never. I've class and dignity and sexiness, and there's an air to me that guys and girls sometimes, but mostly guys go, this guy's kind of a babe. I like this guy's kind of a babe. This guy's kind of a babe. Here we go. When I start making love. Yep.

I don't just make love. He doesn't like you. I bet you, Clarence. Probably catching me too. You know what does he be doing? I'm assuming he's not alive right now. Clarence? Yeah.

He's not alive. No, I think he died. He might be alive. Look if he's alive. See, I was appreciating his talents until stroking. This isn't a good song. It's just funny. That's why you skipped over it.

Yeah, it's not a good song. He's got other really good soul songs. We've been stroking. Is he dead? He's 83. Oh, he's alive? Oh, wow. Shout out to Clarence Carter.

Yeah. That's Jay Z's dad. You know that? Yeah, it is. A lot of talent, dude, out of one family. He's dope. Where's he from? Montgomery, Alabama.

Is that what that says? Yeah, it is. People, yeah, the South has so much great music like that that came out of it. I mean, do you know Sam Cook? Do you know any of those guys? Oh, come on. Well, that's what I'm saying. I love that era.

You like Sam Sheridan? I think that's a author. I don't know. Sam Sheridan? Yeah. Is that right? Why don't I know Sam Sheridan? Did you just stay at a show?

Sheridan recently and that's just in your head. Yeah, you might be the guy that worked with him. I'm Sam, this is the Sheridan. Oh, Sam Sheridan. Who is that? He's an author. He's an author. Oh, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, he's married to Wonder Woman. Audio books don't count as music. No, he's married to Patty Jenkins, the director.

Oh, and he wrote a movie. And he's Brian's friend and he's in the gym all the time. Do I like him? Do I like Sam Sheridan? Sure. Do you like his music? He's good. How do we get on it? What's the next current event? I don't know how he got done to Sam Sheridan. Wait, oh, it was the Super Bowl.

Oops. Super Bowl. Oh, yeah. But anyway. Maroon 5 rules. That's the verdict. But no. Do they need to have three groups? No, you just do one.

Yeah, but I don't know about the three groups. The Maroon 5 has so many hits. Just let them play all 30 minutes. I know you love them. It's just not my shit. I know. They're dope. Most dudes don't like them.

I fucking celebrate. They're good at what they do. Fine. Sure, I can appreciate people who are good. Look, I don't think, I don't like Taylor Swift stuff. I don't put it on, but I know she's good at it. Yeah, what she does. She's good at.

I don't. That's what I'm saying. There's plenty of people that I'm like, I'm not going to be like fuck Maroon 5. Dude, the other night. I just, I'm never going to put them on. I'm never going to turn that music on. The other night, I took myself a little edible and I watched fucking an entire concert live. I think it was live from, I was high, live from England. And it was back street boys and new kids on the block. And it was two hours long. And you watch it? All of it. Dude, if you need, if you need to hang out with somebody, just call me. Like, I'll come over. I found it. so fascinating that these grown men are still on tour and they're doing

the dance moves together. You know how fascinated they would be to find out that this other grown man is high on an edible watching their tour? And fascinated by good school and then I started thinking because I know how much money like touring acts make. Well they make, they're probably still making it down and I wonder how much they make. Well, I love, yeah, I started looking

into it. I don't want to know. Don't tell me I'm going to get bummed. I got real high and started looking into it. You'd be surprised but they do a lot of dates. Yeah, no, of course. And the In Tyrina, all chicks. All chicks. See, not me. I want all dudes. No, my crowd's always a contest.

All dudes. I want all dudes and one girl. One girl in the far back. Do you have a female heckler this past weekend? Did you? Strange. I'm like, you dumb bitch. I don't, you know what's so funny about fucking hecklers? Nobody. Nobody likes them. And for some reason, they still keep popping the fuck up.

Kind of like trolls on the internet. Yeah, it's as if everybody knows, it's everybody knows how annoying it is. And that some reason somebody keeps going, I'm going to do that tonight. I'm going to fucking do it. But no one's usually, usually the hecklers are never sober. They're never sober. No one's ever like, ooh, you beat that comic. Good job.

Yeah, that's true. I've never seen that work out for them ever. Yeah, but I think the thing is like people also go to comedy shows that don't really love comedy. They just go because it's a night out. Yeah, and they get drunk. Yeah, yeah. And then they lose themselves and they get into this thing where they're like. we're just having fun man

fuck you and you're like it's not fun though you're ruining it for everybody else no one thinks it's fucking cool but you know and now I'm gonna piss on you from the top of thing you I wouldn't heckle you though dudes don't heckle you I've had it before in Australia in St. Louis because then you can be like

hey just come up here and we'll fight yeah that's not funny the crowd goes yeah but then you go I'm just kidding ha ha ha ha but I will fight you I will fight you then it's funny again That's kind of funny.

What's the next news topic? It's cats. So six families who lost their kids from the Sandy Hook shooting are suing Alex Jones and they just won a small legal battle. And they now have the access to see how much Alex Jones made from Info Wars. Because they're making the argument that he's spreading all these lies in order to make a profit. Yeah, profiting off lies. Yeah. How much do we know?

No, we don't know. They have access to it now. I want to know so bad how much he made. That's such a great. What a great clickbait piece of article, though. The Rolling Stone got us on there just to not tell us how much. Go to the very top again. Let me see the picture of Alex. Look at him. Sandy Hook shooting viz and families win legal vicar.

Oh, so they won, but they can't disclose it. They won the ability to look into how much money he makes from Info Wars. But isn't that legal? That's legal knowledge, right? Tax filing is legal. like anybody can look up what anybody filed. Isn't that true? Not everything. I don't think everything, yeah.

I don't know. I feel like if you operate, I guess I should correct myself. It's not like the guy that works. Salaries are after. If you run a business and own a business, don't you have to disclose that public? I don't think so like,

if you Google net worth, like Alex Jones net worth see what happens. I don't know what I'm talking about. Because sometimes when you Google celebrity net worth, not that I'm a celebrity, you Google mine. I'm like, I wonder where they got that.

I don't know. Yeah, they compile it with numbers that don't mean anything. They compile it with net worth is $10 million. Does it say? Yeah, they're estimated. Go up to the top. It's just $10 million. They estimate that.

That's a guess, you know? There's some that I look up and they estimate and they're so off. It's always usually to my, from the friends I have and seeing it, it's usually lower than what they really make. Of course, yeah, because they don't really know what you're really. They only know what you're doing based on if you publicly tell them. Correct. Jeff Bezos Oh,

Jeff Bezos going His wife about to go sizzler I know I'm gonna slide into her Diums Me too

What's up What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? You want to go hang out?

You're interested of dudes in podcasting And big dicks Wait Did he really lose the Is that over

The Oh no But they're gonna They're gonna Sevent $72 million? They're gonna Sevent

$72 billion? There you go $72 billion She'd be the second richest woman In the world After you're The first Richest woman in the world

And here's the fucked up thing. Isn't that what they said? No one's even close, right? Well, it should be second richest. Woman? No, no. I said first richest woman in the world. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. No, I think that was a fact that she will become. That's a fact, yeah. That's fucking awesome. Here's the thing, too, though. What was he doing? He was sending nudies to his maid or something? No, no, no.

To his chick, no. And she was a TV host. Lauren Sanchez. She's pretty hot. Has a crooked eye, which whatever. Do you remember Lauren Sanchez? Some people have a crooked eye, man. Some people have a crooked eye.

Is that a big deal? I can fucks with it. Is that a big deal that I have a crooked eye? Sometimes I get a crooked eye. Jesus. Dude, but I guess he sent her dick picks. Oh, he did? Did they leak?

Yeah, some ass that shit. That's what bums me out. Like, who gives a button? This is the girl? Yeah. How long was the affair going on for? Damn, it's cool. Her lips are real.

How long was this affair going up? It was gone for a while, and both of their partners knew about it, too. So it wasn't like they were cheating on it. So why is this a thing? Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, who gives a thing? Why is this a thing?

I don't understand if their partners were comfortable with that. I think just the fact that he sent dick pics. Like he should know better than to send dick picks. Yeah, don't put your penis on the internet. Because, yeah, anyone can access or it's easy, not easy, but it's possible. We've all made mistakes. Yeah. But if you're that rich, you don't send dick picks.

Really? If I'm that rich, I'm posting my dick on Instagram going, okay, I'm worth $70 billion. Do you have a nice dick? He might have a terrible penis, is my point. Like you don't know. He looks like a penis right there. That looks like a penis. His dick, right?

You know what? His eyes aren't great either. One's larger than the other. He looks like a sniper. He does. It looks like he's snipered for a lot of years. He looks like he's just getting out of winking. He looks like he's just been shooting people.

And the one eye is still good. What if we find out that's a robot malfunction that he's actually just, it's a, he was short-circunning. Dude, here's my thing. If I'm fucking Jeff Bezos, I'm going, oh, really? You leak my dick pics. Hey, Instagram, peep this. Huge cockpick, right? And then they go, what?

We're going to take this down. Are you? Well, I'm going to buy the company. I'm going to shut everybody down. What if you're only allowed to post. Dick. If you open Amazon's homepage, it was just his cock. All you could buy was a picture of his cock. And he could do that. Or he owns Whole Foods too.

Hey, guess what? Anyone that wants to buy food from Whole Foods, you got to post a picture of your dick on Instagram. And I just made it legal to post dicks because I own it now. You guys want to do me like that? That juice is $15 also. We'd like to open up your Instagram right now, please, and post a picture of our boss's penis. It's company policy.

He has the power to do that. He also owns Washington Post. Do you know that? Does he? Yes, he does. And he hates Trump. So there's always like the anti-Trump stuff on Washington Post all time. Yeah, it's him.

It's his narrative. I think hating Trump now is also so repetitive that I'm like, I just want to meet more people that love him because it's fun to listen to. Like Kanye, the reason it's fun because you're like, this is crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. I want to hear it. I want to hear what he loves about him. I want him so bad to go on fucking Rogan so I can hear him tell Rogan why he loves him so much.

Because no one's giving him a real chance. He just does these short videos where he's like, He's like, he's making the country great. I want him to make it great. I want, I want, I want thriving. I want this, this, this. But it's never, it's like sound bites. It's never like, let him sit.

Yeah, well, let him sit and let's hear. I want to fucking. He doesn't have a plan, though. But so. Maybe he does. And I love Kanye. And I was on Rogan this morning. I said, you really think Connie's coming on?

Like, he misses so many interviews, makes all these promises. And Rogan's like, I talked him on the phone. Yeah, he told me that too. Yeah, he called me. We were on the phone. He said, he talked him for a while. He was really like, great dude on the phone. He was like he was very conversational.

It wasn't like how some celebrities are like aloof. Some celebrities are like so out of it. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I really paying attention. But I told Rogan, if you look at Kanye's track record, what he's going to do is he's going to wait for his album to come out. You're going to say some controversial shit on Rogan. He's a marketing wizard.

Yeah, and then it's going to blow his album up. Yeah. Even if it's super controversial, he does it on purpose. He really goes all the way. And he said slavery was a choice. I remember watching that and being like, Then his album went. Yeah, dude.

Holy shit. I wonder if he just thinks about it. He's like, what's the worst thing I could say? Slavery was a choice is pretty, that's pretty high up there on one of the worst things that you could probably say. That's why he did it. I know. And then he kind of went back. He kind of like got shit for it and then kind of backed out.

But then also was like. Was also my sales are number one. He was like, yeah, but I believe some of that. How weird is society? Like with R. Kelly stuff? You know, his album sales went up after all the fucking bullshit? Because people went like this. What happened?

R. Kelly was, oh my God. Mud music? You know what song is? I loved. That's what they did. Yeah. And then they click on it and they download it on Spotify. I remember the song,

If I could turn, turn back the hands a time. Do you remember that song? Oh my, it's like a 13-minute song. Is that an old man singing it? That's not R. Kelly. If I could turn. Something. 1950s.

Turn back the hands of time. I don't know this one. What? Seven minutes. No, it's start, dude, it takes forever to get going.

Go to the middle. What's his best song? Obviously, I believe I can fly. No, remix to ignition. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce,

bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, it's the remix, we got a hot in fresh kitchen. I forget the... That was a fucking spring-ranked anthem. That was such a anthem. Dude, everybody dance to there.

Bounce, bounce, at some point in the middle of that song, you were like, dude, this guy pisses on girls? And people are like, yeah, and you're like, the song is so good. So good. Bounce, bounce. He married to Leo when she was like fucking 14.

Yeah, she was 12. So gross. Play a little bit. Let's see. He has some nerve releasing these long ass videos. Here, this is perfect because this is the chorus. Is she in the rain in a 90? What the fuck?

What's happened? Is he going back? Yeah, it's all going backwards. But I thought this is where he was going to sing again. Nah, man, this is... That we'll go back a little bit That restaurant got a B that she walked by Why would they put that in the video?

It's so weird It's a real restaurant That motherfucking can't he? Hell yeah, dude Oh, piss on you Don't put him around kids But he can sing He's fucking gross

So for all that shit Oh dude, you're fucked Like I... What are you both popper songs? Shouldn't go back? Like, I have a lot of like I have a lot of like Resiliency on like people's

mistakes in their life because everybody makes bad mistakes, but not when, not when you're peeing on underage girls. It's like, it's like, nah, nope, not. And I'm not defending in any facet. I want to make that very clear on the record. The only thing where I'm kind of like, oh, God, the parents, where the fuck are the people, people say the same thing about Michael Jackson with the kids. It's like, dude, these parents are thinking they're, first of all, they're infatuated

with his fame, which is disgusting. I agree. But they're also thinking, this guy's going to fucking piss on my kids. Nope, different. Michael Jackson different has Neverland Ranch. It's Disneyland. It's Michael Jackson. Geez, he's just really good with kids.

Let's put them in his Disneyland. Cool. See ya. But when you say kids, these girls are 15. They're not like nine. Carlis. Shante.

What's her name? Alia. Alia's parents are like, yeah, cool. Hang out with them. Oh, you're just going to hang out with them all the time? Oh, you're going to stay the night? I have a kid. Hold up.

No, no, no. Grown man, you're not, no. I'm here all the time. But these parents were infatuated. with his fame and they thought. So they got to take some responsibility. Yeah, but they thought she's grown enough to make that decision.

Which is insane. I know, so they got to take some. I agree. But also, what about the current females who are there now who are like 21, 22? And they're like, yeah,

he's taking our daughter's prisoner. They can't get out. I will tell you this right now. There's not any amount of security R. Kelly could hire that could keep me out of his house. If your daughter was over there? I'm sure. Yeah, yeah.

So why aren't you calling the cops? Do some. something. Why you just... I'm telling you there's something about... There's something going on here. Yeah, of course. There's a whole system to keep... Well, dude, there was a system that kept him employed. How many artists that talk shit about him now made songs with him?

I mean, somebody called... And now they're pulling him down. Like, hold on... What's his name? Mike Rosenberg? Rosenberg? On, on... Rosenhaus? No, no, no. I think it's Rosenberg that does... Hot 97?

Yeah, right? Hot 97. That's him. Yeah, Rosenberg. He listed off all the names last week. He's like, you want to how many motherfuckers are hypocritical as fuck? He'd them named off every person that's worked with him after. the piss thing came out after the underage shit after all these things came out all these big artists still worked with them huge names jZ was on that

fucking list let me ask you this jZ's on that list yeah let me ask you this if this was uh but now because it's public now they're mad white girls how long would he have been able to get away with this you know what i'm saying like if it because yeah i feel like our society because it is black on black they're like that's fucking crazy man and they're gonna there's some shade you you're saying america's america's like senses are heightened when a white girl's in danger. Yeah, I mean, that happens in the news all the time. I was reading this thing.

People were like, how come you only hear when like a white girl goes missing? But other girls go missing, but they're like, this cute white girl from Costa Mesa is gone. Yep. But they were like, these couple of Korean kids are gone, but whatever. Anyway, this white girl from Costa Mesa, like, it's so funny that they do that, they do. They always like, by the way, if the kids are missing on TV, I guarantee you that their parents are good looking or they're cute. it's always like a cute kid that they put on the news tons of kids go missing tons of fucked up shit happens

but if they're like kind of cute kids they're like look at the sad poor sweet girl and you're like this is because she's kind of cute they throw kids on it's strange it's fucking weird dude look at Arkell's jams god damn me at some hits first of all ignition's his biggest one how many how many views 182 million and then I believe I can fly

but on the scope of everything 1802 million is not a lot for YouTube I'm surprised it was but that's nine years ago when he did it I know, but since then, how come it has more and more and more? Because he's old as fuck and he pisses on girls. But if he came out now with that hit, you're talking, you know, like, he was basically the Drake back then, right? So Drake has billions. Who's the highest watch music video?

It's billions, right? Beber, right? No. No, no, no, not even. It's that Korean, dude. I'm pretty sure he still. Sai? Oh.

You know, I party with that guy? What? I partied with that guy years ago before that hit came out. But you got them style. Before that guy was a thing. I party with him, dude. You lying? I swear I got on my life.

I'll show you on my Instagram. It's actually, if you go through my Instagram feed, not you won't be able to. Seven years ago. It's the very beginning of my Instagram feed. There's a picture of me and him in there. What are you doing? I knew his manager. He was a friend.

I knew his manager. He was a friend. And he was like this great artist named Sai is coming here from Korea. He is a K-pop star. This is when Americans didn't know what K-pop was, by the way. Same. But he was like, we're going to take him out to this bar. And we went to this bar.

And there were some low-key, like, famous people there that, like, how like like tofer grace i was like how how how how am i with the guy from that 70s it was so many weird celebrities that were like around this this thing i don't even know how it happened and then he asked um one of the bartenders to go get him a bucket like a clean bucket and he listed off all these liquors and he was like in korea there's this um thing that him and his friends do where you dip a cup into this bucket and then you drink from the bucket it's like a it's like it's almost like a Long Island iced tea of alcohol. Oh, it's like a fruit punch.

Yeah, but it's a tradition that I guess he that him and his friends do or whatever and I did it and it was fucking fun and he was coolest shit. You speak English? Huh? Or did he only go gang and stop? He didn't say anything. Yeah. He pointed a lot. He'd go like this and there and I knew what that

meant. Shine his shoes with my tongue. Now he spoke English. His English was broken but I was tight. How many views does that video have? Also, that was kind of old Dude, I feel like Drake or Bieber's beating them now. No, dude. 3.2 billion now.

Gangnam stop. Oh, I know what beats it. Baby Shark, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Mama shark, do, do, do, do, do, do, baby shark. Grandpa, dude, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, Grandma, Shark. Top five most videos on YouTube. Dude, just go to. Don't type in Baby Shark for fucks sake.

Most feud? Yeah, just type in. Go to most feed. You can do it on the search engine there, right? Can't you write that? Isn't there a sort by? I'm doing here. A filter. Go to, just Google, then Google it.

Here you go. View count. Yeah, view count. Baby Shark, dude. 5.8 billion, Despacito. Oh, it is. But it's not the Bieber one. It's the Daddy Yankee one.

But that's with Bieber. No, not that one. That, that Louis-Con. That's the original. Click on that one. Nah, that's with Bieber in it, bro. Garen. Despacito?

This isn't that one. This is the hit. First of all. This isn't Bieber, dude. You don't like this song either, do you? It was good. This is the original dog. No Bieber in this. Are you sure? Click through it. Just click through the middle of it.

There's no Bieber in this, I promise. Oh, that girl in this video. No Bieber dog. Oh, precious Mike right now for her. Like, Venice looks different. Yeah, no Bieber here. Yep, no bebs, dude. This is the OG, the real version. See?

Dude, how about 3.7 million dislikes? Is that what it is? Yeah. But 31 million. likes. Yeah, it makes up for it. That's the world, right? Do you want me to translate this for you guys?

Filthy. And I'm on the beach with my buds. There's a girl. He's over there with a bunch of kids. Those aren't even her kids. Who lit this trash can on fire? Was it you? Laughing with kids.

Hold on. We're on a closed street. Old guys playing. Chess. I'm still by the ocean Is this your boombox? Dude, this is nice, man. Yeah, I know most, I can speak, I'm fluent.

Oh, wow. I wish I was fluent. Yeah, that girl's paintful. Shaving this guy's head. Dude, isn't it kind of weird that they choose what they choose music? Why do they choose the show that kid getting a haircut in the music video?

It's very strange. This guy looks like, kind of looks like Jeremy Piven a little bit. Type in Baby Shark. Am I going to hate this so much? Baby Shark, did you watch the Gillette ad, by the way? You want to talk about current fucking? events. Typing in Baby Shark, how many views?

2.1 billion. Oh, not that many. Please don't play that. You haven't seen it? I don't. Play it. Fuck. My kids obsessed with this.

This started in Korea, too. Is it? Asians are so good at kid things. Why is that? Why is it? Like, why are, like, young, cute toy things? Hell is true. They know how to popularize cute little tiny things.

Maybe Americans don't care enough about their children. You know what's so fucking annoying? This is going to be in my goddamn pet. Oh, I know. That's why it's so popular. Look at him. This shit's everywhere, bro. You ever seen James Gordon do it?

This is child abuse. I've seen James Gordon sing it with like real celebrities? No, please don't do that. Dude, it's going to save your day. James Gordon, right? James Gordon. Please. There you go, baby shark.

James Gordon. He has legit people singing with him, though. It's pretty funny. And he can, he's a performer. He can actually sing his ass up. tonight. It's once in a lifetime. A song comes along

that defines a generation. Will the fans be able to see this, Chinato? I got to chop it up a lot. You know, a song that's so funny. It unites us all together. I got to chop it up a lot. He's like, I have so much fucking work to do

on this thing. You have no idea. John Lennon's Imagine. Marvin Gaze, what's going on? But never has a song so clearly. defined a generation

as the one we're talking about tonight. A song so iconic, it's been viewed nearly two billion times on YouTube. There's only seven billion people in the world, just a second. Powerful stuff. I'm talking, of course,

about the modern classic Baby Shark. You might have to fast forward look. You play it for my son. It's like, catnip, huh? I can't, like... Gets me every single time. And a father of three young children.

I mean, he's very talented this, dude. I've said before, he does a show... I keep fast-or-in-chin until he starts singing. I mean, finish. Do do-do-do-do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-baby shark. Baby shock. Baby shock. He's still doing his car karaoke, but you've got to pay for it now, right?

It's not free anymore. What? Yeah, he has a paywall buying on iTunes. Good for him, make money, dude. That's like the biggest show ever. Yeah, it is. It's huge. It's bigger than any TV show.

That segment is bigger than his show. Correct. Yeah, like online. On YouTube, there's like 50 million views. That's how you got huge. All right, I can't see James Gordon sing a baby shark anymore. That song's going to fucking riddle my brain. I did his show.

I went and did his show. Yeah, I did when we did for the showtime show. He was very nice. He was a very nice guy. Very cool guy. The show is hard to do because you sit on a couch together. With other people. It's a little weird.

Well, it was me, Jim Carrey and Al Magical, so that was great. He's not mad about that. No, it was awesome because it was my friend and Jim, my boss. But it was kind of weird, like, going down the line is a weird format for a talk show. But I don't know, whatever, man, to each his own. If I had a talk show, everybody would be swimming. The whole show, everyone's swimming, except for me. Try and stay afloat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a 13-foot bottom. To move my down to him, whoever's turn it is. That's smart. They have to tread water the entire. It's called tread. It's called treading with Santino. Treadin with Santino.

And they literally have to tread water the entire time. Also, I just fed them. Oh, wow. Yeah, so they're so heavy. Yeah, I gave them like a, I gave them like a pot roast. Yeah, like a beef pot roast. What else you guys got?

What's in the canoes? Do you want a bunch? Few? Few? How long? We've been going for a hot second, huh? I know, daddy's got to go. I got to go in by four.

That's in 15 minutes. We have plenty of time. Yeah. Give us two more. All right. Let's just jump to these. Or I can last a little bit longer because I like you so I'm fucking much.

I appreciate it, brother. I fucking love you. Just go to the hootie hoop game tonight. I'm going to the basketball game. Again? I know, dude. Isn't that crazy? Last night it was...

Back to back. It's almost too much. I know. I went with my manager last night to the Laker game because it was the Bulls. So I had to go watch the Bulls get their fucking shit pushed in. They suck so fucking much, dude. It's insane.

The Lakers don't have LeBron. God, man. Well, the Lakers fucking blue dick, too. They're not even fun to watch either. I mean, all those guys... bronze playing they're fun sure but like Lonzo play dude he gets all the fucking hype I think Kuzma's the shit I love watching him so good I'll trade him right now for

a veteran well they're Anthony Davis would be the would be the swap Kuzma somebody else yeah right but I think the bulls suck dick right now because they have talented dudes like Marcan and Lori's really good um uh fucking you guys suck thanks dog Were you mad about your Chicago Bears? No, man, I was stoked.

You fucking jag off, dude. Yeah, fucking was I. I was so stoked. How about the kicker? That happens. And like going on talk shows and shit talking about it. People are so upset. Kicking shouldn't be a part of football.

I've said it once. I'll say it again. I don't like fucking kicking in football. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. Here's what should happen. There's only one kicker. Can I give you my rules real fast?

Can I give you my rules? After every touchdown, you can either try for a pass, which is two points, or a run, which is one point. That's what you should do. And instead of kicking off, you start with the ball and 20. 30. Faster game. More points. Yes, dude.

Yes, dude. And also, less concussions. Yes, and if, that way a turnover on downs will probably most likely be near the half, near the half anyway. You still down for punters? You see what I did? I spit back on the fucking mic. You still down for punts? Or no.

No, dog, I'm saying. A turnover on downs is a turnover on downs. And then they start on their 30? No, they start where you left them off. A turnover on downs. Oh, wow. The only reason a ball gets put in the red zone is because of punting, right? Eliminate that.

Then everyone's starting pretty much in between 1.30 and the other 30. It'd be a lot of scoring, which is what people love. Or better defense. Yeah. And you don't need this kicking bullshit. These kickers are fucking. First of all, they're soccer players. They don't belong in the sport.

Go fucking play soccer. Oh, I'm not good. good enough to play soccer, so I play football. Get the fuck out of here. I'm with you. I don't want that shit no more, dude. It's just go do rugby stuff. We don't do that fucking bullshit.

Go do rugby shit, dude. I don't like that kicking in rugby either. Why do they do that? That is strange. A bunch of big jacked off dude. Big jacked up fucking dude, dude, you know, they jack off. You get more points.

You know, they jack off. You get more points. If you run with the ball and you jack off when you run. Jack off the dudes, man. When you get a try, if you come right as you cross the try line, yeah, 70 points. What's the next news thing that I'll interrupt? I'm a fucking idiot.

Since you guys are talking about football. Not that one. This one. Oh, I know the Trump fast food thing? Yeah. You know what bothers me about this? He goes, which I paid for. That's the funniest part.

You know what bothered me the most about it? I paid for more people's meals during my fucking, the first time I get high. It's a bit of my special. Here's what bothered me the most about it. These kids eat fast food all the fucking time. They're college kids. Get a fucking White House chef to cook them the most gangster fucking meal.

You know the prom, bro. Government's closed? Yeah. he could get some asshole to go cook dude he could get he could pay someone he could call fucking guy Fierry or del Friscoes who would cook the kids they would cook it in a heartbeat

their college kids they don't eat that good of meals this is what they eat all the time this isn't a special training tables foods I've been there Division 1 college the training food that they give you it's shit it's bullshit it's like chicken fried steak and sloppy joes the fact that he didn't fly in Japanese like Wagyu beef that's what he should have you want to be a gangster

fly in some foreign shit for these kids to have a treat these guys all eat shit all the time. They eat pasta and steak that they get from the fucking... Ice cream. Yeah, then they get from the local fucking training. Yes, dude.

And here's the thing he goes, well, no one complained. They liked it. Well, first of all, they're all 19, 20, 21 years old. In the White House, they're not going to say shit. No, they're doing press. And also, they don't know any different. A lot of them.

It's fucked up. Yeah, this whole thing is a joke. Give him crab. Fuck that. Give me that other, what's that other fucking article that I want to see that? It's a football head. The kid with the football head. Logan Paul?

Yeah, what did he do? Oh, football head. What do he do? He wants to go gay for a month and people are furious. He was joking around on his podcast. You know, so it's New Year's Eve, right?

Kind of like how we joke around all the time. Yeah. He's talking about going vegan for a month or, you know, they're talking about New Year's resolutions. Not November. He goes, this month I'm going to go gay for the month.

No, all male march or something like that. All male march. He's just making a stupid joke. Yeah. For fuck's sake. And then everyone went after him. People get so upset, man.

They're saying he's being insensitive to the gay community? Including glad. Like, you know, you can you just turn it on and off? It's not how it works. They went overbooked. Really?

Yeah, he's constantly apologizing. He said, that's not how it works? How come there's a bunch of gay guys I know personal friends of mine that say they're going to flip straight boys? You know what? That's a real fucking thing that I know. That they like to do. Yeah, they love that shit. And first of all, those guys that got flipped, they weren't straight in the first place, I understand.

But some people may be able to turn it on and off, Glad. You want to be such an accepting fucking. Because it's called bisexual? Yeah, what the fuck is Glad's problem that you can't. They're saying you can't turn it on it off. Who says? Maybe this guy wants to turn it on and off. suck a dick for a month and maybe the next month he doesn't want to suck dick

anymore. Who cares? Who cares? But who the fucking glad to take a stance? You have to always be gay? He's not saying that it's a right gay people are born this way. He's just saying man, this month I want to start sucking. It's so silly. It's so dumb. This is what happens, by the way, when the far far left shoot themselves in the foot. This is what happens. Glad? You can't just turn it on

and off. That's not how it works. How do you know what he likes? You guys are supposed to promote the equal treatment and rights of people who who are gay? Maybe he wants to be gay. How do you know he's not gay, by the way? Could be a joke. Could be real.

By you saying it's not how it works, you can't turn it on and off. He's like, whoa, maybe for you or for your people, but for me, I can turn it on this month and suck dick. How's that wrong? And who are you guys who would call me out and send the fucking hate for me? Maybe he sucks a dick once in a while, dude. What is he the word? That's so funny.

A group and accepted. What do he say back to them? He put, sorry, very poor choice of words. My fault. Let's get together and talk. about on my podcast next week. Dude, Theo just, this is a huge platform.

This is a huge platform. This is a huge platform. Obviously, everyone on this audience knows, none of us are against trans people. None of us are like talking shit about trans people. We were making jokes in these worlds. He's making jokes saying, maybe I'll go gay for a month. It's such a lighthearted throwaway thing. If he said, I hate gay people, I don't think they should be allowed to walk the streets.

Yeah, glad, go after him. Agree. But come on, dude. That's not even offensive to say, I'll go people who do November I'll go gay for a month

he's making a dumb joke correct stupid fucking joke and here's where also this is one of the reason glad does it because now everyone's talking about glad

so it's them trying to just jump on by the way by the way just like we talked about that fucking about last time the reason

all these people like go after like the reason that all these people are now coming back up to go after things like the Louis CK like new people emerging is because they want

their name in the headline they want their name in the fucking article it's not about them being a social justice warrior as much as about being like, hey, how many clicks did I get? How many fucking likes that I get on my tweet where I said some dumb shit that's like, it's just so, that's clickbait.

Should we hand on that one? No, give me one more fun. Let's do a fun one. A fun one? Yeah. Those are going to be hard to come by. Yeah, because everything is sad. The news is so fucking sad.

There's like one that's kind of. Dude, this microphone smells like denture cream. Does Brian? It smells like Invisaline and fucking thrices? Has this dentures ever fallen out? This smells like dentures. It smells like mothballs? It's, yeah, it's, it smells like a 64 Cadillac.

You know what? It smells like orthopedic shoes. It smells like Skate City? Yeah. It smells like Jungle Jams Playland. It smells like Shob's Jobs. What do you got? Probably smells like that blue singer's asshole that you like.

Clarence Carter's ass. All right, here's the last one then. Yeah. So, have you guys seen this gymnast? This girl's a gangster. Dude, I posted this little... This is what I mean about fun shit. Ali Wong's pants off recreation.

Wait, what? Ali Wong, the comedian? Yes, she recreated it. Oh, I thought it was gonna... What's this girl's name? Caitlin. Have you seen her? I'm sorry.

I don't want to fucking... I'm not throwing Ali off of this, but can we just see the O.G? That's it right here. I love Ali. I just want to see this one. Have you seen it? Yes, because it's so dope. Dude, I'm so turned on by her.

First of all, you know what's the most dope thing about? this. All her teammates and fans are like kicking it with her and doing the same movements as her. I think it's so fun. This jump to splits is crazy coming up. She bounces up in the air and then does the splits. How cute is she too? How old is she? Dude, she could choke you the fuck. Look at her legs. It would choke you the fuck out how strong her legs are. Right here. Right here. Boom. What's up. And that little boogie. Oh shit. Oh shit. What, what, what, pop it, pop it. Dude, see, this would make me go, make me turn into like a gay gymnastics dude for a month. Maybe I'll be a cute little gymnast boy.

Maybe I'll just be a male cheerleader for her. I'll just show up to every event. Creepy. Yeah, she's fucking dope. Yeah, right? To jump in the air and land on your crotch. Can you do the splits cat? Yeah. Does it hurt when you slam on the ground like that?

It's got to hurt a little bit. Well, if you stretched, you should be fine. Wow. That's interesting because we can't do that at all. Some guys can, though, can't they? Yeah. And I don't know if they're dude. No.

Jesus Christ. Boom. That was the big one. I feel like her ass helps her when she lands like that. Dude, that's still got to be painful. All right. It's also a bouncy floor. I know, but still.

All right, that's good. I don't need to see Allie do it. I just wanted to see her. Have you seen Allie do it? I didn't see. It was online. I saw people passing around. I just don't want the attention taking off this dope girl.

I'm not hating on Allie. I just think like, I love Allie. That's a chur's got millions of retweets. I think Ali, by it going viral, let's say people do what Alex do. All right, play Allie. Let's see what Allie did. Let's see what she did. Yeah, let's see what she did.

I'm not hating on her. I just think that girl is so dope. I agree. She's got her husband kicking it. That's hilarious. With the baby cage. She's tied her in tribute. My favorite part is how she's fixing her glasses.

Allie's hilarious. What is she doing? My tree. tribute to Caitlin Ahashi. Ohashi? Is that it? Yeah. I'm such bad eyes. Is Ohashi? Japanese? Japanese. And Ali Wang's Japanese? Chinese. Chinese enemies.

Wong? Oh yeah, you're right. We should go through a list of Asian last names and see if Brennan can guess. That would be fun. Let's do some. Let's do some. Super racist, right? For you getting them all wrong, yeah, it'd be going to be hilarious. What's Lee? What's Lee? What's Lee? What's Lee? What's Lee? We should play black, white, or racist. Blackwater racist. What's Lee? Do you know the last name Lee? What is that? Lee? That's, uh, oh, that's, uh, Bruce Lee. That'd be Korean. Am I right? How many more can we do? Perfect. How about W-Y-N-N?

Oh, W-Y-N-N? That's a white guy. No, spelled, spelled. N-G-U-I-N. Yes. That's Korean. Dat Gwyn. Dat Gwyn. Dat Gwyn. Who's that linebacker playing at Texas N-M for the Dallas Cowboys? He's Korean. Dagwin That's the easy one too Very Dach win Nune is like the easiest

Wait a minute There's only one group of people Who have the last name It's Vietnamese I don't know that kind I don't know that time How about

How about How about How about Park Ah that's Japanese Oh gosh Is this real? I don't know

Dude I don't know my Asians That's not by the last name You isolate that clip and send that to me. I don't know my agents. I want that so bad for my house. Just to play it on my living room. I don't know my agents.

It's tough to do with league wins. It's really not tough. It's actually not that tough. But I mean, you know what? Give me one more. Let me redeem myself. I'm trying to think of one that's not so easy because I think you'd get... I felt like those were tough. No way!

Those are the easiest ones. Those are the easiest ones. Those are by far the easiest ones. How about? How about, what's a good one? How about, uh, uh, Chang? I was going to say that same one, too.

Chang, how about Chang? That's so Chinese, right? It's an interesting one. Is that not Chinese? It can be both, actually, so it's a tough one. What were you thinking? No, Chinese, Chinese. Chang can be Chinese, it is.

All right. And what else, guys? Chang, Chang can be Chinese. Or Korean. Or Japanese? I feel like it. You had it. No, it's Korean.

Chinese is Korean. Yeah, it's not Japanese. Japanese is very like, Oh, horagashi. That's it, I gotta go. That's it, I gotta go. Dude, I had so much fun. Thank you for letting me take over the job

that I was intended for that I was intended for in the first place. You know what? It feels right. It does. This chair is a little too boyish for me. Like, I know his little boy body fits in here, but like, you're too big for that. I'm too big.

I will tell you, it does hug the sides really nice. I just feel like there's a lot of callin-ness left over in here. As soon as... Did you spray this down before I came in? Yeah, we did. We sanitized it. Dude, as soon as Callan shows any signs of decline in health, be ready to go.

Be ready to go. If this is baseball, you're on deck. Dropping a little something, something in his food every single day. You're on deck. Good, good, because I want to be in the on deck circle. We should go over and harass Theo. Let's do it.

You're the rookie of the year, bro. I love you, baby. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. You're the best. The slugger. The red Ferrari's out. This is the fire in the Ferrari.

We're out. Thank you.