The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 469 Will Sasso

Episode Date: January 25, 2026

Will Sasso fills in as guest co-host with Bryan and the guys talk Will's new cowboy hat, Bryan's National destruction, Robert Pattinson as Batman, clam benefits, sex foods, naked fighting, dad bod study, polar bear penis', Bella Thorne picture controversy, Instagram couples Go Fund Me account and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men can withstand my punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black Belt and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised.

Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the Honest Stewart's,

In the studio's in Plyar, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. That doesn't matter. It sounds better when you say, live. We're not live. We don't do it live, right? And now it's the fighter and the kid.

Live. We're not like. This is not live. It's not live. Don't fucking come in. What are you doing, man? What's going on? Good to see you.

Don't come in with a cowboy hat. Nice hat. Thanks. No, it's not a nice hat. You don't come in here. Are you doing it? I'm not doing it. Are you rolling?

Yes, I'm rolling. This fucking guy comes in with a hat, sunglasses, and a gallon of water. We got the same boots. Yeah, these are my blunt stones. These are my blunt stones. Okay. It looks like we just started the new ad can. paying for bloodstones.

These are my blunt stones. These are my blunt stones. You got chocolate in my blunt stones. You got peanut butter in my blunt stones. Take it easy. Guys, good news. Jesus Christ. Will Saso is taking over for

Brennan shop today. Don't just throw things. I'm not. This tiny ass shit table, man. Don't bring a... Get some real furniture. You brought a water core. This podcast has been on the air since iPods existed. Do you know

that iPods don't exist anymore? Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. No, don't do the base thing. Well, I'm not doing the basing. This is my natural resting voice. I don't know about that.

I'll tell you something. You, um... Fuck, this doesn't work. You brought a... That's a water cooler-sized container. Brian, okay. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Everybody knows we...

It's so annoying. We did... That I drink a lot of water. What do you want today? Why did you... Here's what I want. Here's what I want. What do you want?

Here's the first question. Here's the first question. Who the fuck? Do you think you are wearing a hat like that? That's actually a really good. question, Brian. Yeah. And I'd like to just, listen, I want to talk directly to your listeners.

Okay. They know that every time. You want to tell them about me being in Tempe this tomorrow, Friday, Saturday? Tempe Improv? Sure. Sure, I'll tell them. Tempe Improv, Brian Calvin. Bye, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You said, do I want to tell them? Go ahead. Brian Callan will be at the Tempeam Proff. It has 54 seats. No, it has a lot more than that. It's a huge room. I've never been there. Well, if you want to come and open for me and be my fucking opener and get me water and towels, you can.

That would be great. But you know what? I'm not a stand-up comedian, Brian. I'm a serious actor and I'm a serious human being. Yeah, well, what did you want to say? You want to talk to my listeners? Every time I come on the podcast, it's your listeners know. And I love visiting your listeners.

Some of your listeners have been our listeners on a former podcast. and it's an event. It's a reunion. Yeah. And it's a time for truth. Yeah. So when you ask me who the fuck do you think you are, and I know you're doing a bit, Brian,

I know you like to do comedy. Yeah, I do. Yeah. You enjoy it. But I was serious about who the fuck do you think you are with that hat? That's right. And those sunglasses. Every once in a while, you are serious.

Yeah. I know my friend Brian and every once in a while he's serious. I'm going to give you a serious answer because, again, I owe it to your audience. Yep. I know them. They know me. I feel like we're friends. Okay. And I'm going to answer you honestly. Go ahead. William Saso. That's right, Brian. This is who I am. I'm Will. I'm Will. I'm Will. I don't need you to be sincere and do some, I don't know what you're doing here.

These chairs are for narrow hippid, uh, look, you're a giant. You're a white Simone. We know that. But Brendan is a fucking world class athlete. Yeah. Still, does he still run in sand, in? shit. Yeah, he does all that bullshit. He's got plant, he's got Planner fasciitis on his stupid foot because he's 250 pounds. He's actually 270, but he says he's too 70, but he says he's too 70, oh, Brian, just fucking, does he do it or not? Okay, man. Okay, and he runs and his feet aren't made for his body weight. Okay, but he also does a lot of ass work. Right? He's

fucking squatting down. Just climbing the stairs. Yeah. He's going to put on weight. And what he's saying is, yeah, when he gets stressed, he puts on weight. So I'll look at my goal. I'm saying, I'm saying muscle. And his muscular ass should have a problem fitting in these chairs. There's a terrible chairs. Yeah, the bad chairs. I sit like this because my back doesn't like them. This is who I am.

And it's, I think especially on a podcast, as this podcast has grown. And as podcasting is grown, I feel that it's a medium that's matured. And it's matured. I got to say, I'm going to stop you here because I want to ask you because you're being very general and also very annoying. So what I'd like to say is this. what I'd like to say is this what do you do differently now

that you didn't do a year ago you you pretentious hat wearing son of a bitch it's a question and if you start another sentence saying Brian I'm going to hurl my body at your face okay I will fucking knee you right in your fucking chops now if I do what

if you if you start sentences with Brian I don't stop being don't I see how you're no you're kick you're cocking your head Well, no. Coma. Brian. See, that one I started with well.

All right. Well, Brian. Here's the thing about that. You asked a very good question when you said, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah. And you thought you were throwing me a fucking curveball. Yeah. And I was like, hit, bling.

Oh, you did. Yeah. Yeah. No. And it just fucking. No. Because you usually say will. Did a little Disney 1960s fucking, fucking, you know, donkey kicking a fucking football through the upright.

and the guy goes and it goes out and it's a home run. That's not what happened to me. When you throw me a curveball, I go, yeah. No, no, because you go, usually you say I'm Will Sassau.

This time you said I'm William Sassau. Yeah, that's my God-given name. My wonderful mother and father name. But I feel like it's a way of setting your heels and now you're establishing yourself and there's no compromise. So what the fuck

is different from the Yahoo that you were jumping around, like a fucking, like, like one of those carnival barkers with no aim in sight and just spin it around, okay, and bumping in the walls, which is what you do, you fucking human slinky, you human balloon. Okay. So, so now apparently you're different. So what's different about you?

Well, Brian, that's the other. God damn. It's like this. Answer the question, bro. Yeah, and it's a better question than your first question. Okay. And you know how to ask questions. Hell, you've got an incredible podcast.

to your name that proves that. Here's what's different about me. Okay. And I'm looking right in the camera right now, even though you can't tell because I'm wearing sunglasses. Absolutely not of my friends. The difference, though, is this.

It's a simple one. So there's no difference. There's no difference in me. The difference is, I've accepted who this motherfucker is. God damn it, man. You sound like a bad Tony Robbins. What does that mean?

Who, who? So you've gotten down to the essence. You've got now, you peel the onion down to its sweet core. Yeah, that's right. So we're looking at a sweet core onion right now. You can eat a sweet core onion one of two ways. Yeah. You can chow down on the baby.

Yeah. The little tiny onion. You can find those sweet pickled onions in the pickle aisle in your local grocery store. But you've been pickled and now we've gotten down. We've got a whole ass onion. Yeah. You can do the work instead. Yeah.

Instead of just picking off a baby like a heena wood, a fucking little baby. No, you peel, you peel layer of. Your eyes are watering. You're sneezing. And we get down to that core in the middle. Yeah. Now we're at the sweet core. And that's who you are now.

Mm-hmm. And that's who you always were. That's who we all are inside, Brian. We're that sweet core, you know? And I'm not afraid to show you my sweet, sweet core. So show me your sweet core. And I'm not, and I'm not talking about that, that sweet brown balloon knot that you're always on about.

Hey, where's that award that I said I'm in your asshole? Is that it? That's it right there. Yeah. If you don't, and I'm glad that you have it there. Yeah. Because just like these narrow-ass chairs, that's a narrow-ass table, which would make it hard for you to have a shoulder-width squat stance for your feet as you drop it down and get that award in your hole. Hey, fuck.

And what the- Put it inside of you. What are you talking about? I'm not putting a fucking... I know you're not because you've accepted the award that I gave you like a year ago or something. I had Oscar fever. I never accepted that in my ass, ass. What are the Oscars in the summer?

I don't know, man. It's an outdoor event. Right? Look, I'm trying to do a podcast, and I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You sound high. Um... Do you do any fucking? I don't know about that, do you?

Yeah, I do fuck. Why's your voice getting so high? No, no, no, no. I do fucking... Oh, I do fucking... I feel like you're lying right now. Oh, sure. I do lots of fucking...

How do you do it? Like, what is your favorite position? I go like this. I... Oh, man. What are they called again? Oh, no. Do I get a multiple choice?

You're a fucking virgin, bro. Yeah, so? You're a high voice. You're a big high voice. version so what oh damn it when did you lose your virginity jack oh frown the average age most people do 27 something like that oh man i'm sorry about that i'm sorry did you cry oh yeah for days dude i just cried for days i did i'm in de flower i'm not perfect god i'm sorry god um yeah i cried and i apologized yeah to the lord

You ever fart when you were having sex? When do I not fart when I'm having sex? I can't get the tip of my shaft into the sweet folds of a woman's vagina without because I need energy food. I need a complete protein before I have sex. Usually amounts to a nice bowl of red beans and rice. Oh, Jesus. And I like, and if you're eating red beans and rice, you know, you've got to get some onions in there.

Oh, God, damn it. Some banana slices. Why would you put banana slices in there? It makes your, it makes your balls vibrate. I don't, I've never heard that. I don't know if there's. Oh, God. All right, do you want to start this podcast?

Yeah, yeah, let's start recording. Okay. Now, do you feel like, American woman is out right now. What's that about? With Sienna Miller, Christina Hendricks, Amy Madigan, Aaron Paul. We play husband and wife. She's so hot. Did you get to make out with her?

Hey, man, no, it's not that kind of movie. No? Huh? Is she married? Yeah. Bring her husband up. She's so hot. Is she Anna Miller's husband?

No. Christina Hendricks. I remember seeing her on an audition before she was famous and being mad that my life, I was so mad I couldn't date her. She was that hot. I couldn't believe how hot she was. Jeffrey Errant. Who's that guy? Who's that fucking guy?

I got it. Obviously, I can date her. Who's that guy? What's that guy do? Oh, did she divorce her husband? Oh, no, no, no, no. She's sitting around single, Jack? She was the best-looking woman I'd ever seen in my life.

I never forgot it. I was like, oh, my Lord, you're the best-looking woman I've ever seen. Who the fuck is he? Hey, dude, what's he do? I'm asking you. Are you talking to me? Yeah. So American woman is out in select theaters now.

You know, probably go further nationwide at some point. So go check that out. Sienna Miller and... I just asked you a question. Christina Hendricks. What is her house? Myself, I'm in it. I'm in the movie.

Oh, man, you're bugging me. Oh, and then your good buddy, Joe Carnahan's boss level, Frank Grillo and Joe Carnahan's boss level. Oh, yeah, you're coming out with that. That's going to be exciting. I can't wait for that. And then after that, then what?

Well, I just feel like you can do a movie and it doesn't matter what movie. And it used to be to do a movie and it was like a big deal. And now I feel like everybody does a movie and nobody talks about it. I don't hear about it. It's like...

We're good friends, and you don't know that I have a movie out. And you wouldn't even have to ask me back in the day. It would just be on entertainment tonight. Exactly. I'm Mary Hart, and a movie come out. That's right. With people into it. Yeah.

And now... And now it doesn't matter. Like, now... I don't know. Now it just feels like... As good as the movie is, six people see it somehow. Yeah. All right.

Well, you know, I'm picking up what you're laying down. You know, but let's hope this movie does... I'll tweet about it. Don't tweet about the fucking, what is it? 2011. I'll make it big for you. I'll make it big for you. There you are.

All right, there we are. There we are. Director Jake Scott in the middle there. That's at the Toronto International Film Festival. So we do showbiz, Brian and I. Yeah. Well, there I am back there. It looks like a heavy movie.

Yeah, it's very heavy. It is? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What's it about? Drugs? No, it's about Santa Miller, who's, Well, there's Sienna Miller, and I don't want to give away too much.

Wasn't she the one married to Jude Law? Look, dude, I don't fucking read People magazine for fucking day. Can't ask the fucking question. Chin is nodding, yeah. Yeah, I think so, yeah. I think so, yeah. She's looking it up on his thing. She's.

She's. She's a daughter and some shit happens. I'd just be like, hey, Sienna Miller, you're super hot. Just marry a rich guy. Sorry, and a movie. Ryan would make a really good. Go to the Beverly Hills. Go to go to the movie executive.

Go to Nobu. Pre-Me-to. Go Nobu or Wally. Wally's in Beverly Hills and just marry one of those guys. And then buy shit. Jesus. Yeah, I said it. What's Aaron, what's Aaron Paul?

Paul like. Oh, he's a really sweet guy. He is? Yeah. He's a really, really nice guy, yeah. Delia's good friends with him. Yeah, yeah. Delia, yeah.

I think they go way back. Yeah. They're all friends. He's not a strange kid? Oh, they worked together on a movie when Chris was like 19 or 20. Good actor that guy. Yeah. Not a what?

He's a good actor. Not a strange bird? No. No, no, no, no. No, super down-earth. Not a really normal guy. We had a good time shooting that film out in suburban... You're doing louder milk right now?

Eating a lot of Indian food. Yeah, louder milk. We're going to go shoot louder milk. And then now we both have sitcoms on the ABC Network. Yeah, we do. What's yours called? What? Would you say?

Nothing. Brian. It's not schooled, right? So, and schooled is the... What is it called? Is it schooled? Is schooled spelled S-C-H-O-O-O-L apostrophe D? No, it just, nope.

I bet it is. Is the D crooked? No, it's not. Are you up against the D? Like, yeah, this D are trying to push it back into place? Nope, I'm not. Are those going to crawl is going to go across when we're watching dancing with the stars? Don't fucking disparate.

You in short shorts pushing a fucking D? Nope. Don't despair. I'll tell you what, you can push instead of a fucking thick D. What? You can push this fucking award. into your shitter. Why don't you get it lubed up with some red bean and rice farts and then push it up, your

shithole. Don't disrespect me on my fucking podcast. You know what I love about this podcast so far? It's probably about 30 minutes old. Yeah. And you've gotten used to my hat. I have. I've already so overwhelmingly annoyed that it doesn't matter.

What's with the hat? Never seen you in one of those. I just thought I'd wear a hat. Oh, I didn't know you were in the rodeo. but maybe you're a cowgirl. Oh, there he is. There he is. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Chris Alia got a part in, I think, the Zach Snyder movie, and I said, what are you playing? He goes, a helicopter pilot. What? And I go, how do you do that? And he goes like this. Get in! What's he doing?

He's in the Zach Schneider movie, and he's like, he's playing. a helicopter pilot. I go, what's the helicopter? Exactly. And I go, what are you playing? He goes, I just go like this. Get in! And he's holding it like it's a steering wheel because he's never going to be a helicopter. Yeah. Get in!

That's going to be a fucking sharp learning curve from the boy. I have a feeling Delia doesn't do any of that method work. He doesn't go investigate or interview helicopter pilots or sit in a helicopter. The first time he ever sits in a helicopter will be when it's time to shoot. He will enter the hashtag helicopter pilot on Instagram and see what comes up. And that'll be the research. for him to say, get in! Like he's driving a fucking cobra.

Get in! In 1981. See if you can name this movie. Guys in a helicopter. Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shooting machine gun, shoot, shoot. And then I'm going to be the actor. How can you shoot women and children? Easy.

You just got to lead him a little less. Don't lead him as much. Don't lead him as much. Fuck, what a movie. Fuck. Full metal jacket. Good God. Watch this.

Wait. I'll do it to the game. All right. I am in a world of shit. That's right. Vincent Dinoffria. Oh, fuck, that movie's good. It's a really good movie.

It's a fucking incredible movie. I haven't seen that in a long time. God damn. He just goes crazy. Yep. Yeah. You couldn't hack it. You would, uh,

What would I do? You'd be in a corner sucking your thumb. Look at that. That is so scary. Oh, fuck. He was awesome. Yeah, he was. Anyway.

Yeah, he was. Well, American woman is a movie like that. If you like... I don't know. If it is. If you like full metal jacket, you'll like... It's in... No.

Well, don't... Are you going to talk... You're going to talk shit about my movie? No. I'm excited that you're in all these movies. Yeah. You've kind of been working a lot. You've been gone.

Huh? You've been gone. Yeah, I've been gone. I'm back. I bought this hat. the last week, speaking of movies, a couple weeks ago in Idlewild where our good pal, Marshall Cook, was shooting

his film, you're in it, I'm in it, Daly is in it. Yeah. Shob is in it. Shob is in it. Chad Culchin was almost in it, but then he couldn't be... Oh, I think Marshall cut the part. And so, yeah, I was up there in Idlewild shooting this movie,

and we all got hats. Nice. Yeah. Congrats, man. That's a great story. Do you like that story? You ever ridden a horse? Yeah, I have.

When have you ridden a horse? Only for show business things. Yeah. Yeah. And I felt bad for the horse. Very big horse. Yeah. Real big horse.

Yeah. They're incredible animals. You've lost a lot of weight, though. Not a lot of weight. I'm trying to lose a lot of weight. Looking trimmer. I thank you very much. I'm playing the new...

What are you going to say? I don't, well, I'm not supposed to talk about it, but it's another movie. What is the movie? Now, now, please... No. No, because I can already tell, please be honest now. I am an honest guy. You're my friend.

I won't lie to you. Okay, so what are you playing? You're playing the new... See, I wasn't. I've already said too much. Well, I saw your... Now people can Google that. Will Sassel playing the new...

Your mouth went... And you were going to make a B sound, I think. Am I right? You're right. I was going to say a B. Now, maybe I can... Maybe you can just nive your head or shake it. Now, I want you to be careful, though.

Because it's going to... There are people. listening and you don't want to lie now, right? Yeah, but are you going to tell them if I'm nodding my head or shaking my head? Yeah. We don't want to get nervous though and feel like we're back in the corner. Maybe you misspoke for a second, so not a big deal if you misspoke and you can just say no, right? With this? Yeah, sure. Right. Were you going to say that you're relaxed? Relax. I'm relaxed. Were you going to say that you're playing the new Batman? You can say no. There you go. There you go. Good job.

Now, hold on. There was a small nod at the end of the shake. No. Right? No. I'm not the new Batman. Okay, good. You're not the new Batman. Good. I'm playing someone else. And it's a lot of people think that the part would have gone a different direction.

A lot of people are thinking perhaps it's time for a woman to play the role. Yeah. There's been talk of Idris Elba playing the role. but the role has now... Black actor and Africa. Yeah. Yeah. An Africa, Brian just said.

But... An Africa? Yeah, that's... An Africa actor. No, yeah, that's racist to say. An Africa. That's not what we... Okay.

Who is that... Hey, who's that friend of yours who comes by... He plays poker with the guys. He's got his daughter's on the softball team with you. Oh, the Mexico. So don't do that, Brian. I don't know.

I don't know how to speak about it. Yeah. I know. I know. You just, you just, we talked about a movie that I'm in that's a really serious drama. And you talked about the two women and how you want to. Yeah. American woman.

No, it's the, oh, let me be here. Is that the soundtrack? American woman. That's the Lenny Kravitz version. I know. American woman. American woman. No.

I'm not Batman. Robert Pattinson is Batman now. Oh, that's a, because whatever. That's a great choice. Robert Patton. That fucking guy is not. Batman. I'll beat him up right now. What are we talking about?

Well, Brian Callen wasn't available? You got that guy? You got that guy with Brian Callan, a 52-year-old, not around? I mean, he's a good-looking guy, but is he... Really good-looking kid. He's got very intense eyes. Yeah, but I don't look at him as being Batman's a tough fucker.

Yeah, but they got to like re- they got to re-up that character for the younger generation. You know what I mean? Well, couldn't they have found a dude who did one sport? He played werewolf. He did? He played vampire and werewolf.

Isn't that? Played this fucking vampire. Yeah, but that's, yeah, no, no, no. There were two teams. There was team vampire, team werewolf. Bring up more pictures of this. I never saw the movie, but apparently he was a sport movie. Is he in shape?

Huh? Is he in shape or he's got a dancer's physique? I want my back. Well, you know, it's interesting, Brian. You're talking about being in shape. You're talking about dancer's physique. Your guys look sort of similar in that you have, you know, two fucking tits, belly butt.

A belly button. Look, man. It's working out a lot at least, but it's just still not, I mean, I just need a different kind. It's time for a new, it's time for a new outlook on on ourselves, our physical selves. And as you know, the body positivity movement is making great gains. The body posy movement. Okay. The body posy movement.

And so one of the things that's happening is we're seeing it reflected in our media. Yeah. Whether it's the internet, whether it's the internet, whether it. it's the magazines that you buy because everyone buys magazines. Or the movies you watch. Yep. You know, women are speaking a lot about, you know, wanting to feel good in the skin that they're in. Sure.

Men too. And this role I'm really, that I'm taking on. I'm really, I'm really proud of the makers. And I'm proud of the, I'm proud of actually of the history of the part. And that it's now come full circle. Well, not full circle, but it's... So you're the new... Bond.

I'm the new James Bond. Hold on. Okay. Now... I'm the new bond. All right. James Bond. Hold on.

I know. You said that. I haven't seen any of the films, but that's, apparently they say that. Well... Because I said it at the audition. They go, you got the part kid. And I went, I'm the new bond. And they go, yeah.

And I go, James Bond. They said they, they, are you sure? they said you're the new James Bond for the movies. Yes. I'm the new James Bond. In the vein of Roger Moore and... Roger Moore, Sean Connery, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan.

You're the new Bond. What was the other guy? Craig. Daniel Craig. So you're the new Bond. Yes. Now I'm going to give you a chance. George Lazenby.

Do you have any proof of this? Can you bring out Will Saso James? Yeah, why don't you Google it? But see, this is what's interesting about breaking some big news on the podcast. It's not going to be anywhere in Google. This is a world exclusive. but please feel free. Well, wait, hold on.

You just said it's not going to be anywhere on Google. Yeah, because I'm breaking the news here. I'm actually not supposed to talk about it. When did this come out? A couple days ago. So, yeah, there's nothing there. No, there's not. There's something about American woman on the top, right?

Yeah, no, there's nothing. I don't see anything that's secret. Yeah, there's nothing about me being gone because I'm just, because I'm breaking the news here. Okay. And are you going to use an English accent? Huh? Oh, yeah.

No, they mentioned, they said something about that. Look, it's more about two things. It's more about that, you know, Bond was generally a very, a very, and I'm an in-shaped guy, but this is what I'm talking about. Excuse me? That wouldn't. Well, let's just go with your hands, first of all. He shoots a small gun.

No way do your fingers fit. No way does that finger fit in the whole of a Walter P.P. Sure, it does. It just, there's no way that a Walter P.P.K. I don't know what that is, Ryan, but that's the least about where you're doing. You're making it sound like I got big, like I got the kind of fingers that look like sausages that are busted on the barbecue. When you leave them on the inside, you're like, we're good with the chicken. Yeah.

Leave the sausages on the grill and then. Yeah, let's see that. That's a Walter PPPK. That's what, that's what Bond uses. That's a small gun. So what's that thing weigh, about 14, 15 pounds? Yeah. You don't know what's about.

What's it? What's it? No, you don't know guns. That's a tiny gun. What? And you can fit it for a silencer if you've got the machinery. All right. But the thing is that your finger doesn't fit in that.

One of my fingers will. Okay. Okay, listen. It's not, I'm not worried about that. We'll get a bigger gun. They'll make it bigger. And we'll break other boundaries with this role of Bond. Like this one.

You know, generally, Bond has been an in-shaped guy of one sort of stature. Now it's more this. Now it's going to be a real dude. You know what I'm saying? Another thing is traditionally a bear of a man. Yeah, sure. Yes, a polar bear, a gentle polar bear of a man. Unless you get angry.

Unless you get angry, then I'm pulling a walrus up onto the iceberg using nothing but the strength of my jaws. And you can Google that video and your kids won't sleep at night. No, okay. But I'll tell you this much. Another thing that we're changing about the bond role is generally that's gone to a white guy. So now we're doing that a little differently. Yeah. With me.

you're a white guy I'm 100% Italian so please don't be a racist piece of shit being a racist piece of shit you're pretty damn white and you've got blue eyes now yeah I know but I know that but I'm Italian so that's different

And again probably not probably more of a Serb right No I'm from my parents are from Napoli from Naples Italy I'm sure they came over from Serbia You're a giant Serbian bear No, no, no, no.

Giant Serbian bear? You're a Serbian bear. Did you say Serbian bear? I said a Serbian bear. I'm not a Serbian bear. But we're breaking new ground with Bond. I'm looking really forward to playing him. And yeah, yeah, yeah, something, something, British accent.

I'll do my research just like Christopher is with him. James Bond. Shaken, not stirred. Holy shit, you should have been at the audition. Shaken, not stirred. I'm Bond, James Bond. Yeah, I was thinking about coming up with some new lines for it. Like, like fucking, I'm coming in.

in there. It doesn't sound. Be careful. I'm coming in there. That's a really shrill voice. Can you bring it down a little? Yeah. You know, a friend of mine once said that, oh, you know why that guy's not a movie star?

He's got a boy voice. They said that to you? No, he's talking about some other actors. He's got a boy voice. It's true, though, isn't it? Yeah. Hey, it's a podcast, you know? It's about for.

variety. Brian, you're on the cusp of something new. You know what I'm saying? Are you digging what I'm saying? No. Are you picking up what I'm laying down? Are you reading my paper? The podcast as a medium is changing and you've got to change with it. So one thing we're not going to do on the fighter and the kid is say dumb shit like, we're the film movie star. Another thing we're not going to do is say, you want to talk about sports and for fucking sure what we don't have to do anymore is say got any current events

current events current events they can go anywhere for current events they're here for you Brian they're here for me they're here for this hat they're here for the truth dude you don't need to be

what's the truth yeah let's hear it you have a You have a lung fungus. That's not curable. Of course not. Is there water in that or are you just getting drunker and drunker? I told you many times.

This is man. No, it's a Manhattan. Manhattan clam chowder. That's a Manhattan clam chowder. Oh, fuck, dude. The New England clam chowder won't go through the clams. Clams of the creamy shit. You got to get that red sauce.

I know, dude, but that's a lot of clams, bro. That's delicious. Delicious clam. Well, you get a lot of zinc and clams. You know, you can eat one fucking clam. Yep. And you get all of your nutrition. Yep.

You could be out to sea. Of course I need that. And you can eat a clam and never worry about scurvy. Really? Sure. Fuck, yeah. Good luck getting to the bottom of the fucking ocean to fucking clam dig. Because they're underwater.

Give me a pound on that. First thing I say to people is when they want to get healthy, I go, how many clams do you eat none? That's your first mistake, you fucking idiot. Then they go, I'm losing my hair. I go, how many times you washing your hair? Twice three. times a week, first mistake. Your clogging your pores, wash your hair four times a day.

Four times a day. Keep your scalp super dry and open. That's all. And you'll grow a shitload of hair. Get a can out of that clam juice. You can find it near your pickled onions and your grocery store. Clam juice, pickled onions is my favorite combination. Massage that in your fucking scalp.

Yep. Get to the beach, sing some country music and eat some clams. Massaging, clams and leaching. Speaking of Italians, when I was young. Yeah. My family and extended family, we would all go to the beach. and the kids would, and the adults would dig clams and, you know, pick the muscles off the rocks up in British Columbia,

beautiful British Columbia, Canada. And then we would just, my uncle John would throw down a, like chicken wire, like just a fucking, with posts, it was awesome, build a fire, throw down some chicken wire, just dump all the shellfish on there. I'll do you one better. My mother, my mother in Italy, and a lot of people would take a lemon, they would go and get the muscles and the clams.

and the clams and eat them raw. And eat them fucking raw right there. My mom still does it. My mom still does it. Is that true? Yeah, if we get clams or muscles, Ram, that moon,

like give me one. You know what I mean? Mom, I don't want you to, I don't want you to, you know, we're going to make them. Oysters, she'll eat them off. Of course oysters. But clams and muscles with a little bit of lemon.

Same thing. Yeah. Right there in the sea. Oh, yeah. I think she was in like Sicily or something. Yeah. I just don't trust. My mom grew up on the Bay of Naples

and they would eat the shit right from the sea. They try to get a lemon from the grocery. The problem with that is that water probably ain't that clean because everybody in Italy cuts corners. So they dump all their shit. That's true. You know what I mean? Especially with my folks growing up in the 40s and 50s. You know, Brian, this is the kind of refreshing conversation that we're supposed to be having on a podcast.

And I mean that. And a lot of your listeners have never heard you speak like that. And they go, well, I learned something. And now they're going to go to the beach in 2019 with, you know, a lemon. And they're going to get dysentery. Yeah. And they're going to shit themselves. Yeah, clams, just eating clams willingly at this beach you happen to go to, to me, not a good idea.

Eating mushrooms, not a good idea in the forest. Really? Oh, in the forest. Yeah, don't pick up mushrooms, just eat a mushroom. Don't want to do that. And if you don't know what the berry is, don't put that in your mouth and eat the berry, especially fits red or orange or fits or fits, right color or even fits orange. Fis yellow, don't eat the berry. Or fits red?

Fits Fits blue, Fits black, you're probably all right. You're probably all right. As long as, Fits yellow, don't.

No, no, no. But long as it fits Fits, Fits, Blueberry, get the fuck away from it. Run away, Fitz Green.

Run away, Fitz Green. Fits pink, Yon different plan. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Fits pink, Yon different plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, if you're in the desert,

Fitz, Fitzger. It exists. And you got yourself cacti with a big old, beautiful prickly pear on the end. That you can eat. Now, don't eat it like an apple because you get them, you get them little things in your tongue. Yeah. So cut it. Yeah.

Kill off the... Come open with a nigh. Yeah. And then you can eat it. Now, now, Will, if you're fucking dying of thirst in the desert, you come across a big old cacti. Yeah, that's right. Want you to cut it in half. Why you take a big straw that I know you have in your backpack, a big old metal straw that I know you bring in your backpack for this purpose.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You jam it in the middle of the cacti. Yeah. And you suck the water out. You suck hard and true. You understand what I'm saying? You know, I was in Joshua Tree National Forest a couple years ago and there was this cactus garden and the, you know, the state park that it is, they had like a little, just a little rope thing. Like, don't go in there.

This part is the trail. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. But I want to take a picture. Yeah. So I'm going to go into the fucking thing. That's right. You're going to traverse that small rope.

And I, and the, you know, the, the, the, the cacti were only like, they were on these little plant, these little balls. Yeah. And they were only knee high. Yeah. And I'll tell you, it was extremely deceptive. Yeah, that's what it looked like. And maybe, maybe, I don't know, it was sort of like that, but there were these little

fucking balls. And all of a sudden they were all attached to my fucking leg. Oh, boy. I went in there. And I, and then I had to get to my. I had to get my I had pliers I had pliers in the truck

fucking yanking like whole balls out of my leg Oh they'll get they'll get you and they burr in deep Deep deep That's why when I go to Joshua Tree I will take secretly take a small Battery Operated chainsaw And I cut down as many Joshua trees as I can

Brian that's a league Well though but they know I've been there So I like to And then when I go into the Sequoia National forest. Yeah. I'll vandalize some of them big old, uh, redwoods. What do you do to vandalize the redwoods?

Um, I just stripped the bark all the way around so the tree has no chance of living. Now, listen, let me finish. Now, I know people, that's controversial, but yeah, those trees insult me with their height and their ancient attitude. Yeah. So what I do is I, you guys been here a long time. Yeah. Yeah.

Little old me. Little old me. Who's not as, not even as old as one of your branches. Right. Can take you the fuck down. Rompin stomping homo sapiens, dude. You know what I'm saying? We fucking rule.

Man's here. New sheriff. in town. Yep. Yep. I don't care. You've been standing for 2,000 years. Watch this. Yeah. I'm going to turn you into three million sheets of paper. There's a, there's a, in the National Museum of History, I believe it is in New York City. There's a giant, huge sort of log.

Ring of a tree. And in the ring, they have this, like, it goes back to literally Christ, like some 2000s. And then you see in the final ring is 1976 or something. and it says, chopped down by vandals. And some vandals came in and chopped down a tree that was standing there for 2,000 years. Is there a bigger crime? I actually think you should do the same amount of time in jail for cutting down a 2,000-year-old tree as you do for killing a human being. I actually might put you in jail for life.

You know what? You're such an asshole. You know what? You're such an asshole. You know what? I totally disagree with you. Oh, no. What would you do?

Well, first of all, people need to cut down fucking trees. And when they started off cutting down trees and they had that technology. Yeah. And there was nothing but fucking trees. Yep. Hell, cut down a Christ tree. You need it. Build a home for your family.

No, hold on. Nothing could be more Christ-like. Speaking of family, okay, this is a better punishment. Yeah. Speaking of family. Yeah. If we do need to cut down a giant Christ tree, because sometimes you do because they're, sometimes they're old, they need to be chopped down their reasons.

Yeah. You take that guy, you take his family. You take his extended family. Yes. You put them all up in that tree. Okay. Okay. Now, they don't have anything to do with this.

Okay. But they did have, they do have a connection, a blood connection to him. A blood connection to what? To the vandal, the guy who chopped down that tree. Oh, take the family of the vandals? So you take the whole family and you take the extended family, maybe even their friends. Okay. They're all up in this fucking tree.

What are we doing? What are we doing? I don't know. And then you chop the tree down. No, Brian. It's murder. Yeah. You really value the lives of trees.

No, that's not a... I just think it would send a message so that people don't chop down the... It absolutely would. All I'm saying is this. Back in the day before, you know, the industrial revolution, before, even before that, where we were really logging, you know, with machines. Sure. And figuring out how to, how to more quickly and more efficiently cut, chop down fucking trees.

Before that, you just had a man in his saw. You know what? that's that to me one man in his saw with nothing but acres axe saw whatever two guys with a saw one guy with an axe yeah um that's a good name for a podcast Brian there you go I'm helping you out so I would say this I would say this that guy deserves that tree you know nowadays 1976 yeah no neat we've got plastics we've got all sorts of

we've got metal we don't we don't need to be chopping down trees no but you're you're of the new school And you value tree life over human life. Well, no. And if you ran the world, we'd all be, we'd all be on universal basic income. No, hold on. Just sitting there with our thumb or airport bought award in our ass. No, that's a very unfair characteristic of the way I look at the world.

Beating off our flaccid dick that has never seen the sun. My dick is not flaccid. When I get outside, I wear this hat and nothing else. What'd you say? I can wear it get my dick diamond hard. You can't. Yeah. How hard does your dick get on a scale of?

So this is... Now this is a fucking fighter-in-kid podcast. This is no bullshit. Hard dicks. So my dick was... My dick was super hard. And I was at my friend's house. Yeah.

And I woke up with a piss hard on. I was sleeping there. And I went to the bathroom naked because I sleep naked because I like to be naked in case I got to get ready. Yeah. So I walk to the... Yeah, I want to be naked if there's an intruder off. Yep. I want to be fighting you in my purest form.

That's exactly right. Me too. Another one of the things that got me the role of bond. Remind me to tell you the story about that, by the way. Off the air? I got a story about that. Nope. On the air.

On the air. On the air. No. But I walk, you asked me how hard my dick gets. Yeah, yeah. I walked. And as I walked,

I think some birds saw my dick and they flew away. And then, but my friend had a cat. Yeah. And the cat, there was another cat, and they were about to fight. And the cats,

you know, cats are going, and they're about to go. Yeah. And I was like, guys, cut it out. And I went to break it up. And they went to so went, and they converged.

Yeah. My cock got in the middle of that by accident. Hold on. I was on my knees. I'm being honest. I'm not trying to be a dick. Brian, so far this podcast has been about honesty.

Hold on. I sang an entire wayland Jenner's song. I'm talking about tell you how my dick is hard enough and how hard is. And as they fought, they got my dick in the middle and they blunted their claws on my. Brian. Well, they did. No, that is truly diamond hard.

They both blunted their clothes on my diamond hard. And you just went in between them going, no. Yep. And my dick didn't have a scratch on it. Now, that. That's, I know. That's a fucking... Well, that's what's crazy about how hard my dick gets.

Now, now, now, it is what it is? Now, can I tell you a story about... You sure you're not lying? I can show you right now. I can show you right now on my phone, but... Because I have it on video. But now, listen. Don't sneeze.

Oh, God. Now, I got a story about... I was about to sneeze. I got a story about fighting naked. Okay. Jimmy Burke, who you know. I know Jimmy Burke. I know Jimmy Burke's...

I think it's his... Well, his... Oh, okay. His... His cousin. in. No, his nephew is a police officer. Staten Island, they get a call. When they get there, an intruder had come in, and he was, he was, well, let me go. The woman answers, and she's in a robe and she's half naked. And he goes, what's going on? There's an intruder in our house,

and my husband is fighting him. Okay. So they come running in. And they find the guy who's a big athletic guy. He's naked as the day is long. And he's got the guy in a fucking guillotine choke. Oh, nice. Who had broken in. Yeah. And they go, let go. And he goes, I'm not fucking letting go. Not letting go of this guy. Because the guy'd come in with a weapon, apparently. He had like up. And I'd cuff him first. Yeah. Well, so, but he had him there. And he said, let him go. We got him. And they cuff him. And he's holding on him. And when they let him go, the guy was blue and dead. Because he had, so what that happened was they were fucking on the couch, this guy who was a rough cat. And what's, what's Jimmy's connection?

So his, his, his, I believe his nephew, I'll check with him. I think his nephew through the, through a marriage. His nephew was one of the cops on this case. Okay. They come in. So they were fucking on the couch. A dude breaks, thinking they're not in the house, breaks the fucking window and jumps into the living room. Jesus.

The guy's mid-stroke. Yeah. Pulls out, obviously, with a heart on. You may as well get the jump on a fucking Doberman Pincher who's having sex. Correct. Idiot. Correct. Because if you're a real man, like me.

Yeah. And Diamond Dick. And that's your new nickname. Thanks, brother. You're welcome. Diamond Dick is a good name for me. Hey, you don't fucking wear it. Let me tell you something.

Yeah. Go ahead. You don't wear a cowboy hat the whole fucking podcast and not acknowledge that your friend has a diamond hard dick. Thanks, hey, thanks, brother. You got it. You're in my corner, you always have been, and I appreciate that.

Hey, you know I got a pisshole, too. You know what? I got a diamond-shaped pisshole, don't I know it. You do have a diamond-shaped pisshole. I got a diamond-hard dick. Shout out to DDP. Diamond-shaped pisshole. Yep, and it's not small either.

You can probably stick that index finger right, right in high-in-row. I could take a fucking, uh, a sharpie. Yep. With a lid on or not. Or an organic carrot. Yeah. One of those organic carrot. It's not too big, but definitely not small.

No, and stick that it up. Right in my dick. Or this fucking, or this fucking Johnsonville Brought worst of a thumb that I have. That Italian thumb. That's a big Italian thumb. That Serbian Italian thumb. If I grow my nail a little long, it's not Serbian.

I could shuck an oyster with this thumb. And I got a stick up. I got a stick of a piece of leather in my jaw. Come here to Brian. I'll go, and he'll fucking shoot him right. I'll fucking down on a piece of leather. Even though we're both heterosexual dudes.

Sure we are. You're like more, you're the typical cisgendered white male. That's right. Italian. I want to apologize for my cisgender white maleness. Yeah. And my supremacy. And he'll go Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. So anyway,

the guy broke in. He comes out the guy naked. Yeah, we went off on a finger tangent. You know, you're all top five of my fucking favorite movie stars, bro. Thanks, buddy. You know what I'm saying? Found it up. Thanks, buddy. So Diamond Dick came at the guy and the guy

grabbed his legs and he put him in the old guillotine and fucking killed him naked. with a heart on while his girl watched him and then just was like, get him, honey. Yeah, that's most romantic. That's pretty romantic. It is. He slew a man in his house. And my question is, I wonder

if they finished up after that. Because that's stress. You've got to let your stress go. His quarters all levels are sky high. Yeah. He just killed a man. And he said, the cop, he goes, am I going to be in trouble? Yeah. The cop said, what are you talking about? You're a hero. A guy broke into the house. Yeah.

Oh, that's great. It's just Madan Island. Well, yeah, yeah, that's true. The cops are like, will handle it. Normally in most situations, there's going to be some paperwork to fill out. Now, in this case, I want to say this. If you were having sex with your girl and a guy broke in, I think, all due respect, I love you. Thank you.

I believe that because you're a sensitive guy, you would piss and shit and fall to the ground and scream. Is that true or no? Would you fall on your back and piss straight up in the air and douse yourself with a bunch of pee? And then loose control of your bowels, shit the floor. and then scream mommy at the top of your lungs. Is that what would happen? In a manner of speaking, Brian, that is what would happen, and I'll tell you why. No shame in that.

Because number one, as soon as I hear that, as soon as I hear someone fumbling with my door, my gal who would be on top of me at this point. Oh, she's on top of you. She'd be on top of me because I'd be asleep and with a rock hard dick. Jesus, that's lazy. Yeah, and then she'd just get on. And then I'd say, baby, I've got to handle some business. And then she'd roll off.

By the way, my girl's little dog sleeps under the bed when they're over. And she's a cute little. First mistake of having a little dog, get a bigger dog. Yeah, but I'm saying, you know, I got to protect them both. Gotcha. Oh, right. Adorable little dog. Yeah.

So I would go, babe, I got some, I got some business to handle. Yeah. The poocher. I go, stay back, Ronnie. Yep. And then I would 100% piss up in a fountain while the guy's still trying to get the door open into my own mouth. The reason for this,

don't worry about it. Man, man. My urine contains so much testosterone that it's going to get me fucking bull snorting mad. So you would drink your own urine. Yes, and a lot of it would go up my nose. And now your test is fucking jacked.

My test is jacked. Yes. The next thing you said was I going to ship myself? Yeah. Well, if I have time to get over to the toilet, I will. If not, you know, I'd probably just maybe grab the closest pair of jeans or any number of cowboy hats that I have. If I had to, I would. And would

you throw it in? Would you, would you have two handfuls, two big old handfuls of saso shit? No. And then when the guy comes in, would you box his ears with it? That's not the reason that I'm shitting. The reason that I'm shitting is to, it's like when a boxer, a fighter makes weight. Oh. My shit, as you know, because you're a good friend of mine, weighs anywhere from 20 to 35 pounds. That's true. One of my shits. So, and I like to eat. late at night. And when I eat late at night, I eat a lot. Oh, God. So I take one of those massive dumps.

Yep. Around 25 pounds shit. Yeah. Now I'm aerodynamic. Now it's time to work out. You wouldn't shit. You wouldn't shit like right in front of the doors to when the guy walks and he goes, God damn, I got shit. And then boom, you fucking right on. Brian, those are parlor tricks. I want to fucking, I want a fucking honest one-on-one with this man. Okay. The last thing you said was would I scream mommy.

Yes, I would. I'd say, this is for my mommy! which is what I say before I kill every man that I've killed. I didn't know that. And that number is in the dozens. What? You've killed a lot of men? With your hands or with two piles of shit in your hand? Again, I have had some dirty ducy on my digits when it's time to fucking battle down with a dude.

If I got to reach up into my hole to get some out if I'm eating a lot of meat. Okay. But the reason again that I lose the weight when I shit is to make weight for a fair, So I'll get down from, ooh, I don't know. About right now, how much would you say that I weighed? Be honest. Be honest and don't be insulting. How much do I weigh?

I'm not going to be insulting, all right? I mean, if I have lost some weight. With your clothes on? Huh? With your clothes on. No. Naked as shit. And I will gear down right here with my bird hanging out.

480. I don't know. Would you say 4. I don't know. I'm not good at guessing weight, dude. I'm 6 foot 3. All right. So then, so 5.

No. I don't know. Are you serious? No, you're actually, you're looking at, you're looking at 300. I'm going to give you 300. I'm going to be total. That's, that would have been fair in the past. I've been working out a lot with our boy Nick. Yep.

Brian recommended a trainer to me. Nick Plower. Yeah, Nick Blower. He's the shit. But no more clients. Because Brian and I would like to, you know, choose our times when we work out. It's true. He's over a deuce gym in Hollywood.

Yeah, he's a fucking fantastic. He's a great fucking trainer. I said, there's a lot of gyms on this street. He goes, yeah. And you can step into any number of them if you want to. to learn nothing. He's the best. Nick is the best. He's the best trainer I've ever had. Really? Oh, he's fucking phenomenal. Because he knows movements so well. Yeah. And I'll do something. He goes, wow, okay. Very mediocre. Um, you want to do you want to do it right? Or you got this,

though? You got this? I'll start doing my whole thing. He goes, oh, you got this. It's okay. He beat me up yesterday. I'm sore as fuck right now. Really? We went deadlift and bench. Oh, wow. Yeah. He, he, I had my shoulders all fucked up and I thought it was, uh, tendonitis. He said you move very well. He said I moved very well. Your movement is great, he said. How about that? Well, I'm an athlete, Brian.

And then he had me rolling on a fucking one of those little rollers on my lap. And my shoulder went, oh, it feels amazing. He understands the thing. Did the same thing to me yesterday. I had to lose some weight for a show. And they said, we want you to lose. The answer to the question, by the way, before I kill anybody and when I make weight, I'm a lean 205 pounds.

So anyway. But let's move on from there. Huh? I'm around two... I go anywhere from 190 to 205. That's... So anyway. So anyway. So anyway, moving on. So anyway, I'd make you like only 30 pounds. How about it? So anyway... They wanted me to lose some weight for a show. And I told you this. I'm like, I got to get a trainer. You know, the fucking network's going to pay for it or whatever. And they wanted me to lose some weight for it. weight and and uh i was like i said my manager i said how much they go

whatever you can get and i go i'm thinking in the time i'm like maybe i could maybe i could lose 15 pounds the problem with that is you're not going to see it yeah i'm i'm huge you're a big kid yeah so daniel my manager of 23 plus years at this point she's incredible she's like well

they just want you to be healthy like no they fucking don't no i don't give a shit if i die tomorrow they want me to lose fucking weight yeah and i'll do my best but telling you, I could show up. But you've lost 25 pounds. I think I've lost around 25 pounds. Well, Mike, it's kind of a hack, dude. First, I'm still working out with Nick, even after we shot the show.

I dropped, I think I dropped about 10 pounds before we shot that show. And you can't fucking tell. But my girl is a trainer and a nutritionist and a private chef. And a dish. And a dish. And so it's like, I don't eat anything anymore. there's that. I just eat a lot of carciferous vegetables.

I'm not even eating fruit right now. Why don't you just eat like a fucking Inuit and get yourself a big bag of semi-frozen reindeer. When I was up... You know, when I was up in the Arctic shooting that film, the Grizzlies, there was this one fucking country store

that I like to go by because they had Arctic char, smoked Arctic Char. Oh, I like smoked Arctic Char. Oh, fuck. This is the most purest fish. It's in a lake that's pristine, never been touched. Yeah, beautiful. And Nathaniel and Mendi would go up there, eh? And they would go fish it.

This guy, Mendi, from Quebec, and then Nate from Camloops, B.C., right? And they'd go up there and fish. So anyway, I go into this country store and you open up the freezer and you'll see some Arctic char. You'll also see a fucking seal's head. You also will see, oh, yeah. Oh, how about some fucking hooves? How about some reindeer hooves? You can eat reindeer?

Do they make a soup out of it? They eat everything up there. As a matter of fact, when we're making that film, and honestly, it's not out in America yet, but if you're in Canada and you haven't seen the Grizzlies, which is the number one, I'm not even going to talk about the movie. It is the number one film in Canada. Yeah, I think every Canadian should see this film.

It's a very important movie for a lot of reasons, and holy crap, these kids, forget it. Miranda Depensier, the director, went down there early, of course. She shot a short five years previous just to, you know, get up there and get into it. and get and learn about this movie that she was originally producing on uh it's about it's about the first nation people right yeah it's about it's about it's about the innuit kids it's more specifically about this fella named russ shepherd is a real dude from saskatchewan um scatchewan yeah

did you say saskatchewan did you try to correct my enunciation of a canadian yeah is saskatchewan a province or a city it's a province you fucking just escaped death right there. There's a picture of Russ. There's, there's Russ with Miranda Wally Beckett, who's the writer who wrote on Breaking Bad and justified and much stuff. And there's Miranda Depensier, the director. And there's Russ Shepherd. This dude got out of college and shows up in Kugluk Took, Nunevut, population 1000, and he was a teacher there. You know, he was just out of college and he got placed there and the kids on and, and there are big people then you it. Yes, or no?

Huh? Short, short people? There are people of all different sizes and shapes. And that's Ben Schnitzer who plays Russ

in the film. And then I play the other white guy in the movie who also works at the school. Yep. Mike. So anyway, so anyway,

Russ, he shows up there and these kids, you know, there's some social problems and it had the highest suicide rate of anywhere in North America.

Well, because it stays, correct, me if wrong, dark 24-7. Well, for, you know, during the winter months, yeah. Yeah. And then it stays bright.

Which is why in the winter months, they have a lot of vampire slangs, too. Because vampires like the dark, and they can roam around all day and night. Yeah. Because it never is day there. Yeah, that's right. So you have to sleep with a steel collar. But keep going. You can also see vampires in that freezer at the country store.

It's great. What? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. When they turn into a bat. Gotcha. They make great. Those make great soup and stew.

Yeah, I love that soup. Yeah, I love bat stew. Hey, have you read Brian's children's book, Bat stew? So anyway, Rush shows up there and, you know, the problems that are, I'm not going to sit here and tell you about that. Just go see the movie. There are, there are, you know, residential schools and things that have altered the Inuit way of life from the, from the perspective of, of, you know, it becoming Canada underneath their feet, right? Right.

So there's a lot of issues going on in this film. And it's really fucking something. Russ Shepard was up there. Introduced the kids to lacrosse because he played lacrosse in college. He's a lacrosse guy. And it's the story of that. And these fucking kids, most of them had almost all of them that are, play the young kids in this movie that go to the high school had never acted before. Miranda workshopped all these kids.

kids and everyone was making their own plays and videos and this and that. The kids that didn't make, you know, the parts or whatever were also background in the movie. Wow. It was fucking incredible. The entire, Nunavut is the, is the, you know, First Nations Inuit territory. And it was cold. You were shooting that in the winter? No, in the spring.

And there were some days where it was really fucking hot. You'd be on the ocean and the whole crew would be down to T-shirts. Wow. The sun is, you know, reflecting. It's reflecting off of the ice, off the ocean. But nighttime it gets cold again. Cold as shit. During the day, there were also some day.

The coldest day I'd ever experienced was while we were shooting the film. Anyway, these fucking kids, they fucking tear me apart, and I love them. They're incredible. Go see the fucking movie. If you're in Canada. The Grizzlies. Why, I can't see it here in the United States? No, you can't see that here yet.

And you can't see American woman in Canada. So I got them both covered. I'm going to watch these two movies. Hey, watch these two movies. An American woman I can see in theaters. In Select theaters. You can see it in Los Angeles right now. All right.

Hey man, you want to go have like three or four bottles of wine and go to American women? Sure do. And let my hands roam. What? You wear shorts and I'm going to tug your fucking pud. We'll do that thing like they do it. It's a putt. I tell you what?

I think you got a fucking putt. I got a fucking, this thumb right here. When you're naked, you look like the letter Q. That's what I said out loud. So we look like IQ together because you're a fucking little thin. Nope. No, I'm not. We look like LQ.

I got a dick on me. So I don't eat anything anymore. I look like the letter L with legs. I look like a cue that's constantly just like this with the fucking hog part up in the air like that. What do you mean the hog part? The fucking cute, this thing. Well, on me it's a hog because I got two pissholes and my dick is bright pink. What?

I have no head. It's just, it's like a tin of Morton salt and it just stops. Why don't you have a head, dude? Was it an accident? Yep. What kind of accident? It was a piercing accident. Bear trap.

Bear trap. Yeah. I was trying to stick my dick in a log. Two snapping turtles were about to fight. Yeah, that's right. I was at my friend's house and I had to piss and I woke up with a piss hard on. Yep. And then I got between them.

It's amazing that at 52 I still haven't lost a goddamn step. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, man. It really is something. Isn't that something? Compliment me on my fucking hat. Say something nice about my hat. Will?

Yep. I'm not going to do it. So anyway, yeah, my girl has me eating nothing. Nothing. I like your girl and I like what she's doing for you. She's wonderful. It is hard to say, you know, because she's like the shit at what she does. And then I had to lose weight for this thing.

And she's like, do you want me to help you? Because we had just started dating a little while before that. She knows her shit. But it means that I have to respect what the fuck she's saying about the shit that she's doing. Or else because I can't be like, come on. I'm going to eat this. She'll be like, okay, fine. Go ahead.

Do your fucking thing, but I'm not going to help you. Well, the problem is that self-control doesn't really work. You got to do something else when it comes to anything. Anything in life you have a compulsion for, which we all have. I think all of us, if you don't have some kind of addiction of some kind, you're probably a bore. He does crate him.

Cats, cat loves huge, very muscular black guys. And you like food. Now, I got nothing. Look, what's your addiction? Do you have a thing? Probably eating. I eat like an asshole. Oh, you do?

Okay. It's the best, right? Eating has a lot of people. And I know you go through that sometimes. It's just, if you eat yourself to death at night, it's not unlike being fucking drunk. You're releasing all those endorphins. For me, you know, look, let's not get into it. Sure.

Clinical depression can lead to some bad choices when you're eating. eating late at night? Sure. Yeah. What kind of food? What is your go-to food when you're binging? If I'm eating, now I don't do this anymore. Yeah.

And if you're within the sound of my voice, maybe you are doing this. Maybe this is something you're doing right now. A lot of people need help with this. Yeah. Oh, sure. It's, oh, it's a problem when it's late at night. And let's say, again, I'm not doing this anymore. Also because I'm trying to lose weight for another thing.

and I'm kind of on lockdown. Remember when we were on the 10-minute podcast, and I used to, when we were on the 10-minute, remember when we did the 10-minute podcast? I used to invite people in public to just come up and thumb my calves and just get into them, knead them like dough. I'm going to make a new challenge.

If you see me eating a cheeseburger, kick it out of my fucking hand. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I don't give a shit. Now, careful. You don't want to know why I'm saying that? Why? Oh, that actually only goes for the year of 2019.

Yeah, don't. If it's after that, if it's, You're having to be listening to this podcast in 2013. Yeah. Please don't kick me while I'm sitting there probably with my family. Because Will might kill, he might scalp here. He'll pull you. He's been known to grab a man's hair and pull it right off his head.

I'll turn you into a fucking burger. And by then it'll be Trump's martial law. And, uh, you know, that's right. There won't be many ways to punish a white guy for, uh, turning anyone into a fucking hamburger. Right. You want to think, you think we were assholes of trees. Wait till 2013.

I'm writing a book about it. Oh, man. So, so anyway, she's got me on lockdown, so I don't fucking eat anything. But before that, one thing I would do, it would be late at night. You know, it's fucking Saturday, you know, and maybe, maybe I'm just going to chill out. Maybe I'm just going to stay at home. Sure. Maybe watch a movie.

Shoot, maybe I'd have a hoot or two of marijuana. Yeah. I don't normally talk about that sort of thing. That's okay. But we're being very honest here. I don't drink alcohol. Right. And I.

But a little weed goes a long way. Just a little bit. Nothing wrong with that. And I, and I'm from British Columbia where there's weed a plenty. And good weed. Very good weed. And I didn't even really touch the shit until I was almost 40.

So kids don't smoke weed. But, uh-oh. The fucking, the, the, the, the, the emotional eating polar bear just had a little bit of weed.

Oh, shit. And it's late at night and we're watching, uh, wrestling. Yeah, now see. It's about to get.

So now you're watching wrestling late at night. Yep. And you got, now as weed, does weed, accentuate your depression? No. But it just does make you a little hungry. Well, yeah, perhaps if I smoke a bunch of weed, then maybe the next day I'll be a little

depressed. A little weed makes you feel good. I'm feeling great. And by the way, when you're feeling great, you're relaxed. Why not treat yourself? Treat yourself, enjoy some food. That's all. But you know what? We're trying to do good things, so we're going to eat healthy food. You know what we're going to order? We're not going to order a pizza. No. We're going to fool ourselves and order Thai food. Because what you could do when you order from a Thai food restaurant is order healthy things. Yeah. You know, you could get some, oh, one of the things I like to get from Thai restaurants is morning glory. It's just sauteed watercress with garlic. No big deal. What if you just got that and some brown rice, right? Yeah, a little brown rice.

You take that big 15 pound shit in the night and be ready for that intruder. Yeah, yeah. But not Will Saso. No. Sure he gets the morning glory. Sure he gets the brown rice. I'll have a Diet Coke with that. Oh, boy. So we got a gateway. We got a gateway. Uh-huh. Now you're going to stop there. Oh, sorry. Is there anything else you'd like in your order? How about some... Don't...

What the fuck? What? Please. That's a good Thai accent. No. Anything else you like to the auto? That's a good accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay? That's true. My only white friends who do Thai accents are my friends, Johan and Cyrus, the Sheila Jit brothers, the Walter White and Jesse Pinkman of Sheila Jit. Because they were there for... They both have Asian wives. But they were there for...

living there for like over 10 years. I try. They speak fluent Thai. So is that allowed? I train Muay Thai. I'm going to ask some of the. You're not Thai. They're not Thai.

She's, I know, but as Asian, I can say. I train Muay Thai, so I can tell you it's a lot. I train Muay Thai for years because they're bad day. Who's you going to eat?

Wee. This. Way. Whenever they kick. Whoa. Some guys in the USC when they roundhouse, when they'll kick like legs, they'll kick.

Their corner will go, oh! Hey! Hey! And why? Mayhem Miller. Mayhem Miller. This guy was there and said

the Mayhem Miller got in a fight with like literally 10 dudes in in Florida, Miami. And they were all like these giant roid heads and they didn't know who they were fucking with. And Mayhem was dancing with a girl. And the guy goes, hey, bro, get the fuck out of here.

Oh, geez. It goes to try to punch Mayhem. And mayhem goes, he steps out and just goes, oh! And fucking brings the guy's face down on his knee. Oh! and then his friend said that Mayhem was out in the street and he was just going

Aye, a-oy! Just throwing elbows, his guys are coming and hitting him and smiling, aye, aye, aye, oh! And there was a bodies, there was like a mountain of bodies all around him. He was just literally out of a movie like, you fucked with Mayhem Miller, you fucking big muscular royd heads who had no

idea. And he beat up like literally a gang of dudes, like a gang of guys just that kept coming out. He just, he was going, oy! And Mahan Miller smiles when he fights. No, he's the best. I miss that fucking guy. Where's he been?

I don't know. I think he... Probably a few blocks from here. Just shoot him a text. I hope he's... Well, that's not a good thing. So, uh, we get some Thai food. There's mayhem.

Fucking love him. We get some Thai food, right? We, meaning me. And how about some, uh, Pad Wun Sen? Right? Oh, it's just rice. It's just rice noodles with some egg, some chicken. Sure.

Well, that rice noodle is fucking just straight rice gluten. You think, oh, it's good for you because it's rice. And then, uh, you know, let's try the, fish balls and maybe some chicken larb. Fuck it. Make it pork larb. And

let me get the chicken wings and that's it. So we got about 8,000 calories. Okay. So that's going to be good for an 11 p.m. meal. And you're going to finish.

You're going to finish all of it. All of it. I'm getting even the little parts of noodles that have broken off and are in the fucking the tin. Yeah. The tin. I saw you eat. 24 chicken wings.

Did you? Bones and all. Because you were talking. And you were, you were, you were going, you were, you were going, come, chung, and I was like, he's, he's crunching down on the bones. You can't eat the wing, just the wing part. If it's, if it's fried right. You couldn't believe, you ate all of it. There were no bones left.

You can't eat the flat. You can't eat the two little bones. No. The tibia and the fibia. Bring up, bring up when those hyenas or that, those animals dragged the antelope into the, into that African hotel in the lobby of the hotel. Yeah, take a look at this. These hyenas chase down a kudu

or something in a hotel. That's hilarious. And they had at it in the lobby of this five-star resort. And you might want to see bloody mess. Is it the one that, oh, I don't know,

is it the one that says bloody mess? Now, normally I'd shit on Brian for interrupting my story with a story about wild animals while I'm trying to talk about being a fat guy ordering food. I want to get back to this is really interesting so this is this is what your what yeah following video

Baisals may have set sent in the years and you're gonna this is good uh so here they are because there was a big commotion in that guy's barefoot oh there's a lot of shit yeah there's a lot of shit yeah there's a lot of walking around barefoot and there's fucking rhino shit I don't worry about it

maybe all right with that now everybody's got guns and there you go well here's the here's the lyria go that's what happened when... Hyena's a... I mean... Oh, they ate the face

off the fucking thing. Oh, yeah. They didn't get a chance to really get enough of it, but look at the fucking blood. They went to its organs because that's where they go first. And the only difference in that video

is if you had had that kudu, there would be nothing left at the kudu. There would probably be nothing left. And the floor would be lit clean of blood. And you know what? I'll tell you this much. When we're shooting the grizzlies up in the Arctic, you'd be having stew on set,

you know, late second meal. And you'd go around towards the bottom of the fucking cariboo stew with the ladle and you'd pull up no shit fucking antler and be like, why the fuck not? There's marrow in there. So absolutely.

I'll fry those, I'll fry those antlers down. Tie chicken wing style. Yep. And I'll eat them. So that's fine, right? That's what we've done. Well, a little bit later,

they really did fuck up that, that poor couto. Yeah, that thing's dead. A little bit later, maybe you want something sweet. Well, where I live in Los Phyllis, there's all sorts of like, fucking, you know, creameries open late at night. Oh, no.

So you've got 8,000 calories now. Now we've got to get some dessert in it. Maybe get some, maybe get some dessert. Yeah. Or fuck it. Let's just, let's just, postmates 7-11. That way we'll get, just, we'll get some fucking hog andoss. Hagenas ice cream.

That's right. Now you're going to get the little cups. Yeah, but they only call what little cups? Oh, that's too hard to order. Get the fucking thing. I won't eat it all. And then maybe just, you know, fuck it. maybe a, I'll do a twix.

No, a Kit Kat. I'll get both. No, no, no. Just a Kit Kat and the Snickers, no twigs. And then, and maybe, but I want something salty with that, so maybe some potato chips. That's a lot. But I also like those Frito's chips, those chili and cheese, Frito, chili and cheese, those are really good. So let's get both of those.

And I think that's it, gummy bears. And then, so we'll get that. And then now we're really fucking, now we're laying on the couch and we're watching, you know, we're watching NXT. you know, shout out to Kyle O'Reilly and the undisputed era and, you know,

and then we're good, right? Yeah, we're good. Yeah, we're good. But now we're fucking, we've had a little bit of marijuana. We ate some Thai food.

We had a little more of marijuana. Yeah. We had some sweets. Yeah. So now we go to bed, right? It's four in the morning. Yeah, so we gotta get to bed.

Now you're texting us. It's Saturday night. We have a thing, me Will Satso, Marshall Cook, and Chris Leia have a text thread that's been going for years and years. Yeah, and we, it's called guys.

G.I. I think right now it's just called bitch. Yeah, it's called bitch. And we, um, it's usually called guys. And we, and basically, uh, Will, we have this thing where Will never sleeps. Will's awake. Chris, whenever Chris texts, because Chris could be up really early going, you know, coming back on a flight from somewhere.

He could be up really late because he likes to stay up late, but usually only until around two. Yeah. Or something like that. But it doesn't matter when he texts. I text back. and Chris says, hey Will, he said to text, say, hey Will,

why are you simply always awake? Yeah, that's right. 11.30 a.m. Because you are. You awake. Because you are. Because you are. Because 4 a.m. you awake.

You awake. 6.30 a.m. You awake. Because marijuana. Food. Yeah. Because marijuana. Well, I just have,

I keep odd hours. But back a little while ago, it could have been that. Yeah. It would have been that. Because marijuana slash food. Yeah. And depression.

Now, now, now, Now you've had your sweets and had a little more marijuana. That's a lot of food. We've got gummy bears. We got potato chips. We got that tub of Hagenas. We got Twizzlers. It's a small tub.

It's a pint. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twigs. We got a Kit Kat. Yeah. So now we're good. Yeah. Only we're not.

Because maybe we had a little bit more weed and we're watching some really interesting wrestling. But surely you're watching takeover Brooklyn. And we're like, holy fuck. What have they done with Oscar since she left NXT? Nothing. They should have kept that fucking winning streak going. And, you know, we're just watching. Oh, Velveteen Dream.

The dude is so fucking over. Yeah. Right? Velveteen Dream versus Matt Riddle. You saw that. Sure did. I mean, fucking Riddle pulled it. Beat the shit out of him for like a half hour.

And fucking Velveteen still pulls it out. Unbelievable. That's his character. He's simply the shit. Yeah. You know that. He's simply the shit. He's the shit.

So then it's like, okay, well, now it's getting, early. Yeah. So maybe I'll just stay up a little bit. Let's get some breakfast. But hold on. Yeah, but let's get some breakfast. I know, but you just had so much food.

What's the only thing that's open for breakfast? McDonald's. Oh, good call. But there's also Denny's, which is more healthy than McDonald's because you can sit down in it. Oh, you can also sit down at McDonald's. Toss it up. let's do Denny's today shit

it's never been more than three I'd like to embellish in this story and say that I'd also order McDonald's now but I have ordered from three different things in one evening that's so incredible yeah that's really bad that's a real food addiction yeah that's a binge

yeah that's a binge it's a food addiction now do you have a way because I'm going through therapy yeah and I find it me too gotta stay in it you got to stay in it because my therapist

speaking of any kind of compulsion or when you want to do something that you're not supposed to, whatever might be, there will be this idea of having a relationship with your shadow side, with the side of yourself, not even trying to fix it, but just have a relationship with that guy who maybe isn't who you should be all the time, you understand. I think all of us have, I think all of us are who we are, who we could be. And we also have, in my opinion, opinion, two fucking sides to our personality. We got the light and we got the dark. We got good old bry and then we got shadow bry.

Yeah. Because we'll, there's, and I think all of us have that, don't we? Don't we have different parts of our personality? Sure, most of the time I'm a friendly polar bear. Yep, but then. But occasionally, I'm that brown, black colossal grizzly. Yeah. Who eats humans.

I'll eat the Thai restaurant. you'll eat legs first too yeah and I'll crunch so do you have a way I'll fucking eat your antlers do you have a way of helping other people who have this food yeah tomorrow's a new day you know get up

don't hate yourself it's the hardest thing in the world to love yourself right yeah well it's not the hard it is I think it is yeah no I don't think the human beings are programmed to love themselves all the time when they do that's called social maybe maybe yeah and by the way maybe

loving yourself isn't so good for you because what drives you a lot of times is the need to compensate for a shortcoming in my opinion. You think there's any truth? Explain? What? Well, if you love yourself a lot, you'd be a smiling puppy. Yeah, you'd be fucked up. And you're going to be, there's going to be bad days and you're not going to be able to explain

them and I don't think our puny human minds can. So just a fucking go, I'm having a bad day. Did you order some Thai food? You fucked up. Enjoy the shit out of it. Enjoy every fucking bite. And then tomorrow, wake up and, you know, maybe write something down, see what it is you want to do for the week. Yeah.

Maybe for the month. Because I'll forget. I'll go, oh, I'm eating right. I'm doing it good. And then a few days ago by, I go, what happened to that thing? I was doing that. Anyway, die food. McDonald's.

But let me piggyback on that because the other thing I think is people always try to, like when they set goals and they look at the top of the mountain. I got to lose all this waiter. I got to get busy and I got to get my real estate license. I got to. No, hold on. Hold on. Just try doing one tiny thing every day. Like I actually believe in consistency. And I'm talking about read one page. If you say you want to get into real estate, read one page of a book. That's it. Watch five minutes of a guy who talking about real estate on YouTube. I mean one tiny little thing every day. Tiny. Five minutes. Eat one less chicken wing. Just one less chicken wing. You could order more. Just eat one less. Eat one less. Sure. You're up. net more.

Yeah. Let's say you ordered 10. Yep. But you ate them all. The next time order 20 and eat 19. I'm joking, of course. Yeah, that doesn't really work. No, I would say wake up and fucking try to go for a goddamn walk. Do one good thing. Do some moving. Just do one fucking... Look, I don't have your

fucking answers. All I know is that everybody fucking deals with bullshit. You might be looking to me and going, hey, Will Sassau. I enjoyed you in the Grizzlies and I can't wait to drive to the United States to watch American movie. Maybe you're on the 40-9.

American movie. Not American movie. Gotta say it right. American woman. Yeah, I start that movie with that fucking long-haired. Christina Hendricks should have been starring Brian Callum. Yeah.

But he was busy. Yeah. I don't know that you guys would have pulled off. I can do anything. I don't know. I can do anything as an actor. Anything that was necessary of the, you know, I'm as good an actor as anybody's ever lived.

Keep going. Okay. And you're saying, Hey, I'm going to sojourn South to watch American Woman. And I think you're great. Well, I like your hat and your stories and your cover of Lukanbach, Texas by Waylon Jennings. And I'm over here going, oh, I'm a fat sack of shit because I just ate fish balls, fried fish balls from the Thai place. And I'll chase it with some fucking...

Or a sealhead. Or a sealhead. In Nunavit. In Nunavut. Now, would they eat that sealhead raw? Oh, yeah. You wouldn't find, actually, I don't think you'd find a sealhead. You wouldn't find a seal head, I don't think.

I did see some other heads. So you're a liar. No, no, no. I saw walrus skin. Yeah, you would get it. Yeah, yeah. I forget what it's called, walrus skin.

Enusa, one of the kids in the movie, he would eat, he loved walrus skin. He would eat walrus skin. Where he lived. His town was even smaller in Kugler. Look at that. A lot of fish. There we go.

Seal soup. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, they eat. Is that seal right there? Yeah. I didn't eat anything. I didn't eat any seal.

That looks like blubber. You know. Is that blubber? Yeah. Yeah, that's the fat in the skin. I don't know if there's some flesh. I think that's all blubber. Probably good for you.

There's a frozen one. There you go. Yeah, I don't know that you'd eat, because you eat it raw. You eat the seal raw. Oh. It's got to be very fishy. Boo Boo Boo, Stuart, one of the actors in the movie, he plays, he's the only one who plays an Inuit kid who's actually not First Nations.

Uh, Bubu's actually, uh, from here. Mm. And so him, myself, and, um, Ben Schnitzer were the only ones from out of town and Tantu Cardinol. I don't know where Tantu lives, but, uh, I believe she lives in Canada. pronounced Tantu. But, um, and, uh, but, uh, but, uh, Bubu and Ben ate, ate some narwhal. And they said it was a feeling that made them, it made, it, it tasted bad and it made them feel bad. Oh, really?

probably a lot of a, like, I don't know. They had like a bite in all. Vitamin D or something. I missed it. You know, you can eat that shit. Like, if you eat polar bear liver, you'll die of some kind of overload of, I don't know what the fuck it is, but you can't eat, you can't eat polar bear liver. Really?

They will eat polar bear. Oh, yeah. My friend Sam Sheridan, who spent time with the Inuit, said they basically, they, basically, they, it's, hunting is just the way of life. Yeah. Because that's how you serve it. It's hunting. Yeah.

And by the way, the food. it's up there. If you want to buy Western food, as they call it, it's very expensive. The funniest thing I saw was there's this one food co-op place, and there was a bucket of chicken nuggets, like frozen chicken nuggets, the way you'd find anywhere.

$61. Canadian. Wow. Yeah, because it's got a, I mean, it's got to travel, and there's also some other deal with the food and why it's expensive, and it's kind of a fucking rip-off. And so they're getting fucked over there. So you still have to live off. the land up there.

Yeah. Not me so much. Fish. Rainier. Yeah. Fish. Narwhal, though, is, dude, let me tell you that. There's a lot of lead in that.

Mercury. Yeah. Sure. And the big old in the... Nah, you get way up north and baffing. You know, the North Pole. Yeah. It's all pure.

There's no way we can fuck up the planet all the way to the North Pole, Brian. Stop listening to... Stop watching CNN. Okay, dude. We're fine. We're going to be... fine. Those water levels aren't rising. All right. You know, uh,

uh, yeah, being up there was a, was a hell of a fucking trip. Banach. Banach. Banach. Oh, man. Banach is so good. Lago whale flesh. And then dried. Banick is good, though. Banick is really good. Banick is really good. Banach's

just fried bread. So I was getting recipes from the locals. You like yourself some, but you can't really go on a narwhal slash caribu slash arctic char slash beluga whale. binge. I'm sure I could pull it off. I'll find a way to cook fucking polar bear liver

with onions. Well, what did you do when you had that food compulsion when you're up shooting the grizzlies? There was one place. There was Big Racks Barbecue. And this guy, Mike, up there, owned Big Racks Barbecue.

And he actually, I owe him an email. He let me borrow his van. He had five delivery vans, and he was like, you want a van? Yeah. Like, sure, he goes, yeah, usually three of them are in the shop, but I got all five right now. This is a Quebec guy that you want to talk too far, though. You don't want to break down.

You can't drive too far in the Arctic, Brian. The roads don't go anywhere. Do they have? This is going to be a stupid question, and it might be a very ignorant one. There are polar bear out there? Yeah. They're a polar bear. Yeah.

So how far out of the town are polar bear? Out far. They don't want to be around human beings. They don't because they get shot. I don't know why, exactly, but. They'll eat the fuck out of you, though. Okay. In the Canadian government, and I don't know what the Inuit elders, what their, you know, what their influence on this is. But the deal is no more than 20 in Nunavut per season can go, can die.

So you can hunt polar bear, but it can only be 20. There's only 20. No, no, no, not per person. I'm talking the entire territory. So to get the tag is very difficult. Yeah, it's very difficult to win that lottery. Why would anybody want to kill a beautiful polar bear? To eat it. To eat it. Only to eat it.

And keep that fucking, that beautiful skin and wear it. Or wear it. I mean, if you want to, if you want to wear it, people make a lot of their own, a lot of their own clothing. Yeah. So, yeah, no, it's purely to eat it. It's like a windfall. When someone in the village, it's like they get that lottery ticket, you know, they get to hunt a bear. All of their friends are going with them.

And it's, it's meat for whoever they know. And it's, and I guess it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's good. From what I understand, that's how it works. Yeah, I did not try any. Bear me. I didn't try any bear. That would be cannibalism for me because, you know, I'm a bear.

Okay. I'm a big, huge, I'm a big, happy polar bear. All the time. But you know what's interesting is this guy, Nate, who's a very interesting dude who's like an expat from British Columbia. He was up there and, you know, there's a bunch of people there are like white people that are like, just like, oh, I live up here. And this other guy, Mendi, who I said, this Quebec guy.

But Nate was like, explained to me. the trading like the what the hierarchy is and it's not money money is not at the top it was like I think it was like meat and fish and then booze and then like weed and then money

and then shit like plane tickets and stuff because wow yeah it was really makes sense shit you can actually use yeah yeah because he was telling me he was like he was like he said oh I'm gonna yeah I'm gonna probably go down and visit L.A. I'd never been right and he was like telling me how he, oh, he goes, because I fly everywhere in Canada for like nothing, eh, I could fly down to,

I go, why? So if you're Inuit and you work for the Inuit airline, you get these vouchers that, you can fly anywhere in the, in Nunavit, or the territories, too, I believe, in Northern Canada for free, and then you get one buddy pass. And so you, you, you, you work for the, for the airline, and your, your, whatever, your husband, your wife, your cohort can take the other, can, can take the other pass. Well, Nate had a pass. I go, well, how'd you get this? He goes, I know a gal who works for the airlines and her husband doesn't like to fly, won't fly. So I get that airline pass and I use it all over Canada. I go visit my grandkids and row, around. And I go, what do you give her? He goes, oh, I give her an amount of goods that equal around, say, two, three hundred bucks a month, you know,

and I go, well, what's that? He goes, I don't want you worry about that. But it's like Arctic char, pot. Yeah. Like, they're trading up there. Bullets. Oh, it's awesome. It's, it's a very, let's put it this way. I mean, we shot this movie, fuck, three years ago now.

And it is still like, still with me, that experience. But that place has like a fucking magnet in it. I went back to L.A. for a week in the middle of shooting that film. And I was like, what am I doing here? Yeah. Like, because you start to get addicted to that silence. And you start to just turn inward and get to know yourself. And actually, to be honest with you, that's the exact opposite of sitting in your fucking den watching wrestling and killing yourself slowly.

Because things are really hard to. Everything's hard there. I mean, in a way. Yeah, yeah. But it's also you're faced with yourself and you have a small circle around you. And people say this about making a movie, but it really was like a family. It was snowing there when you were up there. A little bit.

Yeah, here and there. It was snowing. Actually, there was a blizzard when we started. fucking polar bears they scare me oh fucking and the other thing is the the ocean is frozen

as you can see this right here is we are uh we're just on the tundra a little bit but right behind whoever that is over there uh oh that's emerald McDonald

the lovely babu McDonald uh who plays Miranda in the film who fucking steals the baby she's the heart of the movie it's fucking crazy uh never acted before never acted before and is fucking

doing this one scene where we're watching her we're like holy shit she doesn't have to cry in this fucking scene but the shit is so real to her actual experience she's related to the real Miranda the person she's playing that's how small the shit is all these kids have these fucking

the same experiences as the kids and the fucking that they're playing it's it's trippy it's crazy and she was like holding back the tears in this thing where she's given a Ben Rush Shepard some shit Ben Schnitzer's character and then she finishes the fucking take

and and I have to share this goes over into a corner and starts crying because this shit is so real to her during the take she's choking back the tears like I'm not going to cry in this fucking scene because my character shouldn't be that upset way way more powerful give her an academy award

what fucking actor what actor do you know that is like oh I'm getting the waterworks and I'm holding it back That's what a person does. That's what a real person does. That's right. An actor cries, a real person tries not to cry. Right.

And it was, I was standing right there. I was like, this is the fucking craziest thing I've ever seen. Then we, the film... That's why when they watch me, that's not an actor. That's a real person. Yeah. When I'm on, when I'm on fucking... Yeah, when you're doing what you do, you got like a reality show.

It's a reality show, right? No, it's one of those things where you act... It's like undercover boss where you're actually in shorts, a real gym coach. Nope. Yep. You're... Nope. Yep.

Nope. No. Yep. No. Yep. No. No. No, you're a cartoon. You're a cartoon.

You cry all day long. Yeah. Me? I hold it back. Yeah. I hold it. It's always, see, it's right behind his fucking, this is an acting lesson. No, I hold it back.

It's three inches behind his face. You guys are going to do this. Yeah. You guys are going to go out there. Yeah. And there's a chance. A couple of you guys are going to get eaten back. Notice how he's talking through his nose.

Remember that? That's good acting. I ain't. I can do it too, watch. I don't. I don't know. So Emerald goes and she had a little... Man, you tell us about the movie, though.

She had a little cry. And it was fucking unbelievable. I'm like, she's holding back the shit. And I'm like, give her, like, what's better than that? We're at the Toronto International Film Festival, right? The film premieres. Yeah. And it did very well.

It's just such a wonderful movie. And being in the theater with an audience to see that film surrounded by all those kids and, you know, much of the crew. was a pretty cool experience. And I'm just afterwards saying to Emerald, like, do you know what you did? Like, do you? I was really curious. Like, are you aware of how incredible? Better she doesn't know.

And Paul Natarayak and Anna Lam. They're fucking incredible. Babu Stewart, amazing. What? Better that she doesn't know almost. I mean, who knows? Who knows if she'll ever, I don't know. There's Paul Natarok.

That guy. That's my fucking dude right there. That guy. First day, he goes, I'm your bum. bodyguard. And we're tight. Yeah, anyway. Fucking incredible.

Actors fucking try their whole lives. And you will try, this is why you are obsessively lifting weights, working out with someone like Nick, watching what you eat, not having Thai food in the middle of the night, after having some weed. Nope. It's because Brian wants to be the first actor to live to 150 so that he didn't have a fucking hope of achieving what these kids did in this fucking move. Fuck you, bro.

Fuck you, dude. you. Fuck you, dude. You're my friend, but fuck you, bro. Hey, hey, fuck you, hey, fuck you, dude. Fuck you, bro. Hey, don't do that. Hey, fuck. Oh. Hey, hey, fuck. Hey.

Don't do that. Hey. Oh, man, you're a fucking coward. You're a coward. You're like that. Ah, I said, you're a coward. Oh, Jesus. Oh, shit. You fire up smells like

fucking fermented walrus. Ranger. Caribou antler. You got to stop eating caribou. Oh, it's so good, though. Man, you get to be a real coward. Let's go to some current events. Hey, current events.

Current events. That's current events. That's what you get when you're venting it can. Instagram account. All right. So, there was an Instagram account that garnered a lot of attention. It was called the Sudan Meal Project. And they said that for every person who reposts an image that they created,

that basically says repost this, and for every repost, we will donate a meal to a child in Sudan for the crisis. They found out that this is actually a account made by somebody just to garner more followers for themselves. Because a couple of people were like, oh, well, what other companies do you work with to provide these meals? How are you getting the money to the people in Sudan? and they started to find different DMs from that Instagram page where they're basically saying, oh, I didn't know I was going to get this big. And I was doing this for followers. Please don't tell anybody.

I'll give you a shout out if you keep your mouth shut. And yeah, this is the post that went viral. For everyone listening, the Sudanese meal project says, oh, no, no, the person writing says, that's messed up. You're profiting off this whole situation. and Sudanese meal project says, I'm sorry, I just wanted followers, and I thought I'd gain a lot off this.

Please don't tell anyone, I beg. I can shout you out or anything. And then the person writing them says, you are wrong. Wow. You're going to see a lot more fraud like this. There's so many ways to take advantage of people on the internet. So bad.

Yeah, and the currency now, because it's likes and followers, this person is doing it purely because then they wanted to have followers and then switch it over to who they... Yes. Like the end game would be, oh, now it's just, it's my account. I'm fucking will and my account has a shit ton of followers. Yes. But then everyone would know, you're not thinking two steps down the road to know that you're,

it's, hey, you were just Sudanese meal project. And they're getting money from it. They were asking for money here. They were not asking for money. They were saying, they were lying and saying that they were working with a company who would then donate money for every time that post was reposted onto somebody's Instagram story. So they were doing it just for followers and just for reposts.

I'm a little more forgiving because they didn't get money for it. They were just trying to be popular. But this is the, but this is the currency. It's a real. It's a shitty thing. It's a shitty thing to do. And at the end of the fucking day, you know, the kids aren't, people aren't getting fucking fed. Which,

I'm not doing anything about that currently either, so, you know, fuck me, right? I give. All right, let's go to the next one. Thank you. Oh, this is the Alex Jones one. Don't thank the gang. So there is a case going on with Alex Jones and the families from the Sandy Hook shootings. And Alex Jones was forced to turn over emails to the lawyers of the families from Sandy Hook.

Within those emails, those Sandy Hook family lawyers found child pornography on them. And Alex Jones went on his show and he said that somebody sent it to his email and that he never opened it. If he did, he wouldn't have had turned that over if he knew. And so he put out word that he would give anyone one million dollars for any information on who might have sent it. And he's just doing his old spiel. Please forward your information to Sudanese meal project. And then what happened? He's just waiting now.

He's saying that it's not a threat to the lawyers of the Sandy Hook victims. But he does think that they are colluding with Democrats in order to get this case. Interesting. Well, a million bucks is a million bucks if he's claiming that he's innocent. Yeah, apparently, though, nobody opened the files or something. Yeah, nobody opened the files. I can believe that there was something weird going on. I don't. Do you want to hear?

Yeah, I'll give him the, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't like the guy, but I don't think. When you call up, oh, we'll protect you. We found the child porn. I like women with big giant, big, big. I don't like kids like you goddamn rapist. In fact, like this, you're going to get it, you child molesters. I'll get you in the end, you now we're done right there. I know I, I know I should delete it at radio,

probably still went out, I don't care. You're trying to set me up with child porn. I'm going to get your $1 million. One million dollars, you little gang member. One million dollars to put your head on a pike. One million dollars. I'm going to get your own. ass. You understand me now? Why is he doing that? I don't know. It's not going to ever defeat Texas, you sacks a

so you get ready for that. I'm using his crash right now. So where is he? One million dollars, you little game. Is he not on YouTube anymore? He's got to be on his own platform, probably his own website. Oh, okay.

Wow. Probably good. Crazy. Look, I, I, I, whatever, whatever that's about, oof, child pornography. I'm sorry, I know we're on the radio. How would they find child pornography. How did that get on there? That's what I want to know. Nobody knows. Apparently the email that

had the child porn on it was never opened by Alex Jones or anybody on his team. They just turned over everything that they had. Oh, so it might have been a spam folder or something. It could have been. Yeah, there's a lot of, that sounds like a bunch of shit. But I don't like Alex Jones for what he did to these kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That whole Sandy Hook fucking that's, that's fishy to me. He apologized for that at some point. Well, he had to. He's being sued by a.

very powerful law firm and they're not, they're going for blood. They do not. For sure. And so this law firm in Connecticut does not compromise. They just, they go for, it's scorched. Oh, dude. Are they from Connecticut? Yeah.

Oh, they do not compromise. They don't compromise. The law firm from Connecticut? Law firm. No, I know a guy who knows them and he was like, dude. Dude, these guys? Scorched her. Hey, Brian, what's up?

It's your friend from near Connecticut. Just wanted to let you know about this law firm from Connecticut. What are they doing? Well, currently they have a lawsuit against Alex Jones. These guys do not compromise. Man, I haven't heard from you in three years. What do you want from me? I'm just letting you know.

I'm a person that you know. By the way, do you hear about Jimmy Burke's nephew? No, this is the other guy calling you. Oh. Do you hear about Jimmy Burke's nephew's friend's mom's step sister's boyfriend? No. Yeah. He was having sex with Jimmy, with my, with Jimmy Burke's nephew's.

cousins, moms, step, sisters, step sisters. Yeah. Right. And a dude came in and he fucking choked him out and killed him. It's good.

Yeah, fucking Alex Jones. Well, Alex Jones got big problems. He's got big problems. Coming after a supplement line, I think. But we, they got to get to the fucking bottom of that. And here's what happens.

I mean, that's, that's fucking heavy shit. And he's saying one million bucks. A million bucks is a million bucks, eh? sure is. I mean, he seems to be maintaining his isn't. I hope they get to the very bottom of it. Because I'll be fascinated to know if it's just spam shit.

I think everybody, yeah. I think they're going to find that this is all bullshit. Probably. You know, anyway. But if not, if not, holy shit. If not, holy fuck! That'll be a fucking hell of a I think he's eight years younger than me, which is interesting. He's my age. Yeah. He's

44 years old. He might be one year old. He looks much older. Yeah. Planet Fitness celebrates body, positivity with dad body study. Told you all about it. Yep. So Planet Fitness commissioned a company to do a research on what people find attractive and what type of body types they find attractive for their Father's Day

promotion. And they're basically marketing a new deal saying, come as you are, but most women and people in general find dad bods to be more attractive than people who are leaner. That's bullshit. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't buy that. It's bullshit.

That's just fun to say. It's just fun to say Until you see a guy with a great body And then you're like Oh that guy has a fucking fantastic body I saw a dude yesterday I was driving and a dude has a shirt off And I drove by and I went

I was so gay Because I went That body You forget that some people have these insane bodies I went What the fuck? He had Not like did he have smooth

Hairless skin But he had like this Like it looked like a suit of armor And it was just He was just an athlete With like kind of that bent smile With like Just walking

And I was like What the fuck, man. I suck. Look, man, here's what's up. I just admitted to you that I'm laying on my fucking back watching W. WWE wrestling. Take it easy, Will. You know, eating fucking, you know, a bunch of food and shag up very honest.

But women do like you. Sure. Look, my, my lovely girlfriend there, right? What a beautiful, beautiful girl's chair. She's helping me do with the food. Yeah. She finds you attractive. Yeah.

I know a lot of very beautiful women that have found. you're attractive. So do I, my friend. Okay, take it easy. So do I'm just saying women are not nuts about abs on everybody. That, that may be true. Like I got an eight pack. There are a lot of women that like that. But I'm saying I'm speaking honestly as a guy who's like, I'd like to be in different shape. Okay. Sure. Okay. We know that. Here's what's up. The dad bod thing is just to make us feel good about having a mostly sedentary lifestyle. I am, look, I've been an athlete in my life and I've done all sorts of working out and this and that and lifting weights and fucking. It's, Muiti and everything.

So it's day. Look at the extension on my knee. See, all the way. I don't know if that's all the way, man. I can kick all the way up above my head, ready? Maybe. So I'm speaking as that guy. We're just giving ourselves props for having the bodies that most people have.

That's right. And it's about accepting or whatever. Yeah, that's fucking great. You want to put a fucking label on it. Go right the fuck ahead. It's a free fucking country. But it's not what people prefer. Let's go back to.

talking about people who walked across a fucking land bridge when the fucking water was low enough because the ice had melted and they're fucking running down caribou and shit on their feet. So those people mostly would have incredible fucking bodies. And the standard back then would be look at this fucking incredible. Have you ever seen like, you know, historical depictions of, you know, different, well, you know, whatever. Well, go to someone like Brady Quinn shirtless or Tim Tebow shirtless.

All right, hold on a second. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, put in big talk. Put it in huge talk. No, Brian, don't do that. I know. I'm trying to show good bodies. Oh, dude, no. Whatever you want to do it.

No, don't do it. Don't do it. I'm not going to do it. You know, thousands of years ago when the lifestyle was, you know, run down a fucking saber-tooth tire, then your body would have looked a whole lot different. A lot different. They would have all looked, you know, like me naked. It's a fucking sight.

It looks like someone took a fucking polar bear and fucking strapped its shoulders down to a weight bench and then put 3,000 pounds on the bench. And he repped it 50 times. I don't know about that. That's what my body looks like. I don't have skin. I have a hide.

And my fucking chest is trying to get out of it. Me naked is a fucking sight that most will never forget for only good reasons. Could you look like a naked polar bear? somebody shaved a polar bear and you've never seen what that looks like sure sure the legs I've got thick fucking legs you know

my ass is just narrow enough to fit in this fucking chair because a polar bear's dick is on the inside of his butt no you got a pud bring up Brady Quinn bring up polar bear shit let's see polar bear can we look at okay after that we're looking at polar bear

penis look at this kid I they're there but I said shirtless yeah all right or it was one of these guys any of these athletes. Yeah, there you go. Now, now, I think girls would like that body more than, more than, you know, a dad body. Watch him. Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's fine. You know what I mean?

Yeah. He's got tits. Yeah. My acting teacher said men have tits and ass too when they're in shape. Yeah. Look at that guy's forearms. Yeah. I met him and I remember looking at him. I was just like, he's such a fucking athlete. Quarterback for, uh, I mean, he's just a, he's just a great looking kid and and just a hell of an athlete. But just a beat. six, four, and you go, what do you do? What do you do? He was at, uh, he was at the comedy store. And I met him and I went, I went, well, that's a pro athlete who also happens to look like a fucking J crew model. One night we're having dinner at Scopa and Brendan Shob's dear friend Tim Tebow came by. And Brendan did reprimand you afterwards for the way that you turned into a suitor. A gay man?

A suitor? A suitor. You, bring up your hand on his shoulder. And you just wouldn't let go. You're like, yeah, and you're talking to him, but you're like feeling them. Yep. And it was Tim Tebow shows. I brought my hands. I brought my hands. Yeah, look at that right there.

That's an athlete. Look at the neck. Yeah. But again, that's not a dad body. What I'm trying to say is that. He could put a hole in a fucking cinder wall. Everybody, if given a choice, would have that body over. Even that.

That's him, that's him like out of shape. Three years after retiring, out of shape. Best looking guy at the pool that day. Yeah. Now, please type in polar bear penis. Nope. no Brian this is scientific Polar bear

penis it was hard to find Polar penguin came up okay now let's look at those yellow penises skinny and long and yellow that is yeah that's what you're the middle one it's mine is the middle one sure it's not as long as the ones on the top to the bottom but it has a nice even girth the entire time and as you notice

no fucking head it looks like a tape arm mine my penis looks like a no it looks like a fucking tube of Wilson tennis balls no but bright pink with little snout and a flat head a real flat head

flat as a board yep yep and I can suction it to the mirror if I have like a full length mirror and it's always a little wet on the air I lick it and I go and then I go because it has a snout

and I can pick up the mirror and I can't yep I can drag it across the floor and that's a kind of stuff your dick has an olfactory senses what? Yeah oh yeah oh yeah all of it's all of it

senses. All right. It can smell. You can feed it peanuts, right? Yeah, I toss peanuts up into my mouth with my dick, just like an elephant would. And, yeah, and days when I get really randy, I can reach all the way up to my mouth. And I give my dick, my pig snout dickhead a kiss. You got a, and I go, your dick has a pig snout.

Yeah, it's got a fucking, it's got two holes. It's got two holes like a pig snout. Oh, Jesus. Pissing much, but you got to see you got a piece sitting down. Oh, dude, I absolutely have to piece sitting down. Next current event, please. It's like, it's like someone's. saw a fucking...

So actress Bella Thorne, she actually started out as a Disney Channel star. She's now... This is all legal, so it's fine. She is over the age. But she was getting blackmailed for having her nude. Somebody hacked into her phone. Some piece of shit. Yeah, they got a hold of some videos

and some photos of her naked. And she ended up actually just posting it up on Twitter herself with a note saying that she couldn't sleep at night. She was crying all day. I agree with that. And she wanted to basically be in control of what happens to her. So she posted her news on to Instagram along with the text messages from the guy who

was blackmailing her. Bad ass. Motherfucker. Can they find the guy? Please tell me they found the guy. They're in the process. She did make a note saying that the FBI is on their way to get him. They do have an idea of who he is.

I don't like public shaming. Yeah. This guy should be fucking public. If he's 14 is different. He's a fucking little shithead and needs to be slapped around. If he's a grown man, you got to be. And if you, I know, I know. I know Blalethorn's really hot.

I don't know who she is. Don't look at the pictures. Just don't look at them. Don't do it, man. I know you want to. Just don't do it out of respect for her privacy. For real, man. Be a man.

Be a gentleman. Don't be a bitch. I don't even... Look, you know, I like naked ladies, right? But I'll tell you what. Now that you say that, and I'm not even joking, I think we're at a point in our understanding of the internet and how it works, that it barely even matters.

What's more interesting is these... I mean it. I'm sure there's people who are... fans of hers or whatever, like guys that are familiar with her. I'm not. And I'm like, oh, like I saw a clip on the internet where Whoopi Goldberg was talking about it. And I'm like, yeah, she's pretty, but she's also like super young and shit. And it's like, I also kind of feel like we're at this point where it's like, that part doesn't even matter. And that's what makes her pulling this move actually kind of interesting and I think very justified. Because it's like,

whatever, whatever. There's, you know why? Whatever? Because there's so much fucking shit on the internet. Yeah. In about 10 years, all of our texts, maybe even, now the technology may be possible. All of our shit will be searchable. All of it. I know. Yikes. Yeah.

Fucking yikes. Right? Yikes. That's all I got to say. Yeah. But it's going to be. Hey, you want to know what Brian Callan really is? Oh, and all I'd be able to do is go, huh, I type.

Yikes. Yikes. Or just go, wasn't me. Brian's phone will be the Apple, yikes. By that time we'll just, all it does is send. Yikes. By that time, we won't know it's real. Because with artificial intelligence, you can get people looking drunk.

That's actually a really good point. Now, it'll be like, information will be like fucking sand. I'll just be like, what? Oh, yeah. Okay, that was me. Right. But we're getting to a point where it's like when you were saying like, oh, movies came out, people really gave a shit.

Back in the day, I remember, I didn't give a fuck about Batman. Yeah. I knew it was coming out in 1989 because they wouldn't shut up about it on TV. And it was like, oh, Jack Nicholson's and Batman. Oh, that's cool. Wow. Fucking holy shit. I remember where I.

was. Nowadays, there's so much stuff. It's like nobody would have known about this. Well, that's the other things. Nobody would have known about this if she didn't pull that move. But I still support what she's doing because it's her fucking choice and she's completely just pulling the rug out from underneath her.

And getting the person who's trying to blackmail her. It's like, yo, fuck you. Yeah, I'm a pretty, well, whatever, this doesn't matter. But I'm a pretty woman that you think people would want to look at nudes of me. I'm putting it out there here. Fuck you. Booky goes to did that to all those women.

Like, and I remember I was like, don't, don't look at those pictures. Yeah. Don't do it, man. Turn your back because also, it's not, it's not, she doesn't want you to see it. So would you do that in her window? You peeping Tom, motherfucker? Well, it's the same reason that we give the middle finger from within the confines of our car, but we wouldn't do it walking across the street because you don't want to get your asking.

Yeah, you're being a coward. Right. Don't be a coward. It's against common decency. Don't fucking do it. And also, if you want to think about it, like, what is the actual, you know, logical reason for that is because you're voting with your clicks. You're saying, all you're doing is you're saying, yeah, I support bullshit like this happening. When you look at someone's stolen photographs, you're saying, you're saying.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's, man. I know you. I've known you a long time. No, no, but finish what you're saying. It's actually important.

I was piggybacking on what you said. No, all I'm saying is. dude we used to do that fucking podcast it was only 10 minutes long so you could kind of do some fun things with that but he likes to anyway so it's sometimes it's hard I just got because I got off on this no I know you started thinking about this fuck the world

and then when you think you're like I'm gonna hold that here I'm trying to formulate it but you're like I wasn't even listening to what you were saying okay so what I was saying is this you're voting with your clicks so the logical thing is if you don't If you don't want to live in a fucking world where people like this can, you know, can profit from bullshit that they, you know, that they should not be able to profit from because it is fucked up.

Regardless of your moral stance, I think you'd probably think this is fucked up. If you think it's the Wild West where you can just do whatever the fuck, then that's going to happen to you. So we all agree that, oh, that's fucked up. The logical thing to do is to not click on it because you are voting with your clicks. You're showing this motherfucker that it's good if you, if you click on it. But anyway, so in South Korea, they got a hold of some nudes of a pop star. And this guy tried to sell him. And you can hear the fucking magazine guy like saying, listen, you bitch.

You know, he was so mad at him. And like, I think the entire, this magazine posted some of these pictures. And all of Korea, like the entire population of South Korea, including the fans, stopped buying the magazine in silent protest. And that magazine had to fold. That's the way you do that shit. In South Korea, they were like, fuck you guys. We don't do this to people like.

It was so, it was so, they're very conservative, you know, but there was, it was so against their sort of culture. Yeah, it's just not done in their culture. Don't do it. Don't do it. It's, it's almost a form of digital rape or something. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah. I mean, anything that'll make, I mean, don't do it.

And she's fucking, how old? You can be a dude. I think she's, uh, 22. Okay. She's 22. Too young. It's too young for anybody. But also to have to fucking deal with that shit.

That's fucking traumatic. It is like digital ring. Because then after that happens, that can fuck you up for life. So thank goodness she's fucking cool, like hardcore and badass enough to go, eh, fuck it. I'm going to take the fucking teeth right out of this. Yeah, you know what you're doing actually when you look at those pictures in a way? And especially, I'm sorry to say this, but you're taking something that doesn't belong to you.

You're stealing something from that person. She doesn't want you to see it. She doesn't want you to see. Those pictures were taken for somebody she likes or she wants to share with somebody. That's an intimate private moment. You're taking something that doesn't belong to you. Brian, I agree with you 100%. And I'd like to piggyback that.

Go ahead. Be more of a hunter. When you're up on top of your lady at night and you're sweating and you're pumping and you're making her feel good with your polar bear pig snap. Yep. and someone comes charging into your home to do you harm.

You're a hunter. You're fucking your lady. Right? And now you're all charged up. Or she's fucking you. Maybe you're on your side. Maybe you're receiving sex because you're inequality. You're inequality.

Maybe you're inequality like an equal sign. Or you're a real beta. Or you're a real beta cuck bitch like yourself and you're on your back. And she's on top of you. Watch it. I will. You're getting fucked.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, what bye. Aye. Next current event, please. When that's happening, drink some of your piss,

take a shit, dedicate it to your mommy and beat their fucking ass. Be a hunter. Don't look in peat you on the little, you can look at the pitch of the

no. Get up on that woman that loves you. Preach. Fucker. Preach. With that polar, that jaundice yellow polar bear pigs now.

Or if you got a... Have those got. then leave a fucking rhino shit in your wake along the path for barefooted hotel employees to come around the corner with a fucking rifle and see that that poor dude choked out leave when you're done with that guy leave a mess like those hyenas did with that kudu yeah this is my hyena impersonation that's good dude thanks man fucking good we got more current events i got one more just one more yeah yeah all right that's also what you sound like when i'm fucking taking taken what's mine.

So this Instagram couple right here, wow. They've got a GoFundMe account to help pay for their trip so that they can show their fans, you know, the world and how adventurous they are. That's great. It's a gift for their fans. Oh, I got to. He looks well, like, situated.

Those tattoos on his face. I mean, this guy really wants. He's got it figured out. He's got it figured out. And he's apparently, uh, their lovers, travelers. dream chasers. By the way, I'd like to do that to my face. Look within. Because... He's got deep

messages on his face. Oh, man. That's freedom. And his girlfriend is stunning. Yeah. What is she thinking? Because a girl wants to be seen with a guy like that, too. He's a good-looking guy. I disagree. Good looking kid. I don't know what's going on there. I do. That's called pure narcissism. They're super vain. Yeah, but... That's pure narcissism and they're fans. Yeah. But she's...

Great. She's delicious, by the way. She's a beautiful. And a cook. How many times do you think they use universe and journey in a sentence? Several times a day, even while ordering at Starbucks. And she's got him beat by like two pounds. He's a tiny little sweetie.

He's got a long neck. He's actually 5'1, but he's six foot. That's a man giraffe. Yeah. You fucking man giraffe. I'd like to scrub off. all of his tattoos. I'd like to cut his head off. Gasoline and a brick. And, uh, and then steal his girlfriend. With gasoline and a brick and then steal his girlfriend. And steal his girlfriend physically and let her,

and lay on my back. Well, this is going to take a while, guys. You know what I'm going to do? Yeah. And, and, and I would like for him to watch me, uh, not make love to be made love to by his adorable girlfriend while I'm laying on my back in a Thai food in Hagenas coma. Stoned a shit. And I'm still going to watch NXT wrestling. Yep. And slow gases are coming out of your asshole. Shout out to Kyle O'Reilly in the undisputed era. Listen,

well, this has been, wait, look what he wrote. Look what he wrote. That's what they wrote for their, GoFund me account. We could write a long text about mental health or global warming.

Hey, dude, shut up. We could tell you about following your dreams. Nah. Or how important stepping out of your comfort zone is. This is just all useless platitudes. We could tell you how beautiful. traveling is and its benefits or the fact that most news don't match reality, but we're going to

show you less talking more action. Truly one of the most unbelievable pitches we've ever worked. That's the thing. Then he goes on and he says, we want to take you all on this huge adventure, a celebration of life as we ride freely across mountains by the sea and through the Meliton Metropolitans. And the Melaton. Metropolitan. Melanon. We will show the beauty of this planet and its inhabitants, but also the ugliness. but we cannot do this on our own.

We need you. Shut up. And they said a source said that his mom was the one that actually paid for them, but she's now unable to afford it. They're both unemployed. Yes. Anyway, the point is that

he has some deep messages. Look within. Freedom and some other bullshit on his fucking face. Congratulations on your choice. And it was enough to land that dude. There you go. Look with it. Thank you. And that fucking day.

Couple of narcissists want to go on vacation. I'm going to follow her. Hey, guy. If actually, fuck it. Let's use the podcast. What's his name and what's their name? Another beautiful day official.

Do they each have, do they each have their own Instagram? We're going to do a call to action here. Do they have their own? They must. They're narcissists. Let's see. No.

No, they only have the one? The couple one. That's what it looks like. They might have their own, but. Let's see the picture. How can we figure it? that out. Cat and Elena.

Yeah, no, there's no way to... Scroll down. Let me see their... See if they're tagged in that one that says GoFund me. Would you mind? See if they're tagged in that. No. So happy with themselves. Are they tagged? No. No. Shit. Because here's what I was going to suggest. Everyone on the internet

within the sound of our voice right now should follow her and not him. Let's put a cavern between the two of them. Let's break these motherfuckers up. Let's make her single. everyone, if we can do it Okay, go to what's this Definitely don't follow this Another another

Another underscore beauty underscore day underscore official Another beautiful Another underscore beautiful Day Undescore official Yeah that's shocking That an Instagram handle

To be that long It's far too long He's scrolling down I want to see all of it They're not narcissists at all Yeah He's all about himself So you can go there

please, please, Fighter and the Kid listeners, go there, do not follow them, but find out, please find out and share with other listeners and hopefully, Chin, you could maybe share what they find. Oh, oh, there's tags. It's probably like the clothes that are wearing in shape.

Her name's cat. What? No, no, that's saltem. Saltium. It's cat. It's a different. Oh, we might be getting close. No.

No. No. I think it's all the people that are involved in the picture. It's a photographer, someone who did their, That's not the school. Okay. But please try to find out if they have their own Instagram accounts.

If they do, follow her, not him. Only follow her, not him. Let's get her way up there. He's only got 43,000 followers. Yeah. So, and if you are following him, unfollow him, and then delete your Instagram. A lot of face tattoos going on here.

All right. Well, listen, congrats on your choices. Will, congrats on the choice of coming here and trying to do stand-up. I'm not trying to do stand-up. Kids, come see me in Tempe at the Tempe Improv This weekend, starting actually tomorrow, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Oh, Spokane, Washington.

Yeah, I'll be in Spokane, Washington, the 11th and the 12th at, I'm not sure what the name of the venue is, but does it matter? It's called the Spokane. There you go. And you're there till the 13th. So learn how to read. Yep, and Will will probably open for me in Tempe this weekend. Hey, you know, it's fun is when we do that David Greco thing. That's right.

It is a lot of fun. San Francisco Cobbs, July 19 and 20. Come see me. a lot of fun. San Francisco Cubs, July 19, 20, get your fucking tickets. Can you do Brendan's

too quickly? And Brendan's going to be in Calgary this weekend, the 20th, the 21 and 22. Go see him at Yuck Yucks. He'll be at the Brea Improv.

I was going to be there. It looks like I'm going to be in a wedding. Oh. I know. June 27, 28, 28, 29. I'm sorry, I can't be there, but he will have some very funny people there.

Cincinnati, Ohio, July 12 and 13. He'll be there. And I will probably bring Will Sassow on stage for one of my shows, probably take. Tempe this weekend. I can't be there, but...

David Greco. And take a long, old-fashioned car antenna and beat him with it while he just gets... He's tied to the ground and he makes weird hyena noises. You're going to need two of those antennas to shove them up each of my fucking pissholes because I got two at the end of my polar bear snow. Well, that's going to really hurt. All right, kids. I think that's it.

I think we're going on. Hey, thanks for having me. You're a great kid. Hey, thanks, man. This is the fighter and a kid. We're out. We did it.