The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 471 Jo Koy

Episode Date: August 23, 2026

Jo Koy is back and Bryan is late. The guys get in a heated debate about UFO's and aliens and talk custom Jordans, bicyclists hogging the road, Chris D'Elia opening up for Jo, Jo opening up for Cedric the Entertainer, murderer's thumbs, girls with giant hands and big feet, Jo's motorcycle accident and compound femur fracture, biker gangs, Laurel Canyon conspiracies and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men can withstand my punch. Punch. Obviously. Obviously. Oh, for sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised.

I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Hmm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield.

And now from the honest story. Studios in Pliya, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. That doesn't matter. Sounds better when you say, live. We're not live.

We don't do live, right? And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. We're not live. This is not live. This is not live. Are we here in Chin? We're wearing now.

Let's just get into it, man. Brian's late. I don't understand that. He's 51 sends me a text. It goes, bro, lost track of time. Be there soon. Who loses track of time? I don't even know what that is, by the way.

I don't even know what losing track of time is. Wait, here's the problem. We've been doing the show for six years. Yeah. It's the same time. Every Wednesday. Yeah. But it's so, you know, it's not like, oh, it's a crazy Thursday and it's a mix-up.

And so it's when I have a guess. It was just me. I'm used to it. Yeah. I used to have inner demons. The thing about killing Brian when he'd be late. I probably quit the show four to five times because he's late all the time. And he stopped being late.

He hasn't been late in a while. Yeah. It used to be a real problem. Now I'm just like, I chalk it up. It's Brian. Yeah. But you can kind of see that with Brian's progression in life. You could tell that it's...

Like he lost track of time. It's always been losing track of time. of time. Yeah, and now it's really hitting them. It's like, hey, I'm going to do a special. It's like, I think you lost track of time, bro. Yeah, that should have been done 15 years ago. But yeah, hey, good job.

We'll promote. We'll promote it, dude. Before we started going live, we're talking about fashion because you're always a fashionable dude. You got my favorite off whites on right now. Yeah. The prestos. This is the best, this I don't even consider this a collab. I don't even consider this Nike. I consider this. I consider

this a piece. Like this is a piece of artwork from Virgil. Agree. And like, you know, you can put this on display and everyone's going to be like, yo, what is that? Like, that's how I look at this shoe. This is the best. This is the best design since the Jordan 4 or the Jordan 3. I'm a fan of the ones too. The ones, yeah, I get it, but the ones were just a sleeker version of like an Air Force or whatever. It's still a dope shoe. Like a dunk. Yeah, it looked like a, yeah, it's just, it's just a sleaker version of that, but the three was kind of like what saved Michael

from leaving to go to Adida. I think he was going to go to Adidas or Converse, and that was the shoe that saved it. The three. The three. I think because I grew up during that era. I remember when the three came out, and I remember all of us going to Foot Locker just to look at it on the wall. Oh, they did was such

a big deal. It was crazy because we couldn't believe what we were seeing. There was like, there's no swish. We were like, what? This is crazy. It's not a high top? Yeah, there's, now there's really nothing like that, is nothing. There's nothing that the Yeezies, I guess, create the kind of Panemoneum that comes with it. Does it though?

Not the same panamonium. Does it? Does it? Does it? A fuck boy panamonon. Okay, because like, I see people wearing the Yeezys and I'm like, okay, are you wearing them because you really, truly, truly, truly love the design of the shoe? Or is it because this is the hot thing in everyone was talking about. Like when the Jordan hit,

the Jordan fucking hit. Hit, hit. Jordan like changed the shoe game. I feel like change basketball. I agree. Forever. Forever. I feel like with Yeezys and even I do own a bunch of them. Didn't pay for all them, but people send them to me. And when I put them on, I think the same thing.

I'm like, am I wearing this because I actually dig them? They are comfy, super comfy. Like, do they look? A crocs are comfy. You're right. Ogs are comfy. Ogs are comfy. Unless Tom Brady can't wear Oggs.

Yeah. No. No. I'm just saying, though, like I see people rocking the Yeas. Do you have any UZZs or no? No, I don't. Not one pair. I just, they never.

Checks over stripes, bro. This shoe right here. There's another pair of off whites that hit me right in the ass, the 97s, the AirMax that he did. Oh, God. And I was just like, what a shoe, bro. Have you seen the first off white Air Force ones, the clears? Yep, my son got those. My son got those.

I literally bought the whole wall when they came out, that whole round that came out. It was so funny. I got a text from Chris, like Delia. And he was like, hey. I'd say the three, but hate to interact. I'd say you, me and Chris, in. comedy, probably the top sneaker heads. Oh, hands down.

Not even close. Yeah. And I'm OG. By the way, I'm OG. I talked about you. I talked about you on, oh my God, the show I just did. I'll look it up and say it. But they were like, yo, his game is hard.

And I was like, yo, he's killing it right now. Like his shoe game is hot. And then I looked at the camera. I go, but I'm OG. Yeah, you're the original. It goes, you, Chris, then me. Yeah. Chris, it was so funny because Chris, you know,

when he's open for me, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, I took Chris on the road. Because I saw him at the Haha. You saw him at the Kama store? No, I saw him at the Haha and you're like, that kid's talented? How many years ago?

He must have been doing it a year and a half. Wow. And I saw him and I was like, when he got off stage, Jason Collins introduced me to him. And then I went and saw him at the Haha. And I just walked up to him. We were already friends and I go, hey, you want to go on the road with me?

and for a year, and about a little over a year, he went on the road with me. Wow. Yeah, we were crushing it. I was, you know, I was already getting like, you know,

I was already selling out weekends at that point. How many years ago is this? It's probably 11 years ago. Damn. Yeah. Saw Chris. That's so cool, man.

Yeah, for a year. Yo, he'd go, it was so fun to see him. You knew Chris was going to be like, a tight. I knew it was going to be the best. I kept telling Jamie Mossada. I was like, what are you doing?

Like, this guy needs to be in the laugh factor. What are you doing? No, buddy. He's not ready. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? This guy's put them on. Like, I took them on the road. And I love putting people in front of me that are fucking strong.

But what's- I don't like following people that are like- I find it funny when comics do that. Yeah. With a sandbag where they'll put, Bro. Bro. You see it too, don't you?

I see it. I'm like, because as I hate it. I was a fan of comedy before I started doing it. So you want the audience to have the best show. possible. Always. So if you put shit in front of you, it doesn't really make you look better. No. It's like, God, those guys were awful. Awful. And the crowd's kind of

off. It's not good, man. See, you know what I'm talking about. I don't want to see any names. There's a lot of guys that do that. I take a guy personally sandbagged the show. Bro, I take a guy named Derek Post and he's a dork at the comedy store. I want to say who, but big name comics that we know would bring him. He

crushes. Yeah. They don't bring him anymore. I don't get it. Yeah. I have to have someone that crushes in front of me. I love that feeling of like, oh shit, I hope I can follow them or oh God, I got to bring it up tonight. I got to step it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're so good though, man. I don't want to like,

I don't, I just don't, you know where I got it from? Cedric the Entertainer. I opened for Cedric and it was in, God, I don't know how many years ago. This is like 14 years ago. And I was opening forum at some Indian reservation. And I crushed. I'm not going to lie, man. It was like 3,500 people there. I fucking slated. Black audience.

Black audience, bro. People are standing. You know, I said, good night. They stood up. They were screaming. I walk off to the side of the stage. I see Cedric on the side of the stage.

You got his fedora on. He's got his suit on. He's bouncing like a fighter, like in the corner of the ring. And he's like, that's what I'm saying, motherfucker. Make me work for this money,

motherfucker. Make me work for this shit. That's what I'm talking about. Joke, Coy. And he slapped my hand and walked out. And they literally forgot who the fuck I was. And I was like, I need to be him.

him. That's who I need to be. Most of the big dogs are like that, though. Yeah, man. Most of them. Yeah. They're not worried about. I don't get it, dude. When I was coming up, man, out of that laugh factory spot. I mean, there were cats that were like, you know, there were the strong cats that

you wanted to fall. And then there was those guys that loved it when you were in front of them. But then there's a few of them that were like, oh, he's on. Let me bump him or. Oh, I'll see guys now where you'll be like, oh, no, let me go here. Let me go here. Dude, who cares? Just because he does well.

It doesn't mean it. He's stealing laughs with that they're all out of laughs. Bro, is that what it is. If it's, yeah, you don't run out of laughs. Laughs come from your jokes.

Yeah, funny's funny. If you're funny, you're funny, you're funny. You're, uh, I was talking yesterday

with Derek and Asan, uh, their comedy store door guys. Dude, you're never at the store really. I never really went through the, the store. But,

you know, you know, you know, I was blessed with Jamie Masada. Like Jamie, when he first, Ralphie Mae is the one that told Jamie to sign me. And that's why I always,

you're laughing. factory guy. Yeah, because there was no other rooms that I could get spots up at. You know what I mean? When you first started? When I first came here. But I was already 13 years in because I started in Vegas. So I was doing like rooms and I was like booking theaters myself.

Like I was booking. I had this one theater. Bro, I go way back, man. I'm sorry. But like I would get sponsors to pay for my theater rooms. And one of my sponsors was Dada footwear. I don't know if you remember that. I sure do.

And Biggie Smalls you. And L.L. Cool J used to wear the hat. Old school, man. Yeah, and I got them to sponsor my shows. I ended up meeting the owner, and then the owner started sponsoring my shows. I'm still best friends with the guy that did the marketing, Carlos Perrault. And they were paying for my shows out there. And I got J.B. Smooth to come out.

I got Honest John, Jay Lamont, Michael Blackson. I was doing this in like 95. Monsters. Yeah, man. And that's, I was comfortable. So I lived in Vegas because I was making money off these shows. And when you came to L.A., you're like, I was already 13 years in.

But when I came to L.A., I was like, okay, I did 13 years of stand-up. And here I am coming to L.A. And now it's like ground zero again. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So imagine like being able to like, I know all these guys, but. So were you kind of like at the story, we're like, no, I don't need to get past.

I mean it was 13 years. Exactly. That was my attitude. Let me work. Yeah. I didn't understand that there was this process to get in. hierarchy. Yeah.

And then there was like this theme show at Laugh Factory. And I got in on that theme show. It was called Asian Invasion. And it was all Asians? Yeah, well, not really. Amy Anderson used to, look who's late. Look who's late. Lost track of time.

Yeah. You're 50, though. Yeah. How's that happen? Okay, I know I can trust you guys not to make fun of me. Get ready for the worst lie you've heard a long time, Joe. I've been doing this for quite some time. I can I understand.

Get ready. Spread around. Can I say this to you guys without you guys making fun of me? 100%. This is how my son starts. You're ready. They're so bad. They're so bad.

It makes my day how bad is why. I had to walk my dog. I had to make breakfast. That's not an excuse. Yeah, that's not an excuse. Yeah, that's not an excuse. I have to take a shower. That's not an excuse.

You don't have a dog at your part. This is vulnerable for me. I had a case of the squirts. There you go. All right. There goes. You're so much more creative than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's so much more creative than that. At least come up with something. Yeah, and my house got pregnant. Oh. No. No, just bad, dude. Yeah, that's a lie. You don't...

Excuse me? Well, you're a liar. The strange just keeps on going, doesn't it? Yeah. It's the fighter and the coy now. What? I don't know, man. Bro, you're out.

This thing, this thing... No, no, hold on. You remember that, that whole thing where you lose track of time? Yeah. That's this is what happens during that time. Listen. When you lose track of time, that little, that area that you missed, it gets filled in.

People forget about you. People forget. Check the comment. Now it's Brennan. Are those the comments? No. On the screen right. Those are right.

Those are right. Oh, man. Seven thousand negative ones. What? Negative. So now it's Brennan and Jacoy? Yeah, Jacoy. Yeah, Jacoy.

Jacoy's in the house, everyone. Jacoy. Oh, do you would laugh at this? I really don't like you. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. What? I don't know what it is. I don't know. I don't even know why. I didn't even do anything. I don't even know why. Come on, dude.

I don't have the anger anymore, but when Brian used to be late, if he was younger, I swear to God, I'm not just saying this, I would, I'd want to fight you. Oh, you would. I'd literally want to fight you. Really? Not anymore, though. I'm good. No, no, but older, rich, whatever.

You used to. Doesn't matter. You used to want to fight. Doesn't matter anymore. Well, I'd be, I'd be like 25 minutes late. I was Will Sassel late. Yeah, I used to be Will Sassel late. And this was all I had at the time.

I was like, I'm gonna fist a cuff. Yeah. Oh, I want to hurt him. But you're too old. Yeah. It would ruin my reputation. Yeah. But if you were younger, if you were, you might have given me a shove off of what you are.

You would have given me a shove about? No. Wait a minute. No. Hold on. Yeah, if he was 30. Hey, guys. 31ish.

Don't. 301ish. Jokoy, seriously. You know what? Jekoi. Well, I don't have time to call you. I don't have time to call you a whole name. Dude, he has the hottest special on Netflix

and you, you show up late? Dude, your special looks very fun. Oh, why? Because Hollywood Reporter ranked him top five comics in the... You're doing well, huh? In the world? Do you have a helicopter? Oh, why?

Because I didn't sell out Brea and then somebody goes, dude, my agent goes, Joe Coy sold that like 17 times. Well, that doesn't help me. It hurts your feelings. I'm not him. Yeah. Hurt your feelings. No, it doesn't hurt my feelings.

He's the best. Yeah. Hey, don't do this for three weeks. Go like this. The fighter and the coy. No. I don't know what color paint we're going to use for my face on that wall. No, come on.

Well, we're actually moving studios Monday, dude. What do you wear? Young clothes. He looks awesome, I think, Brian. I know how to put it together. You're not young, though. I'm not doing the whole laundry day look that you like to do. This is a cashmere.

Like, hey, I got to do my laundry tonight. This is what I have. I got it vince. That's not cash mirror. Yes, it is. That's not cashmere. Feel it. What is?

Kashmir. What is it? You want to know? What is it? It's a sheep. It's a type of sheep that comes from the Kashmir Valley. Oh, yeah. Depends where you get in Kashmir. What's about? Oh, what happened, bro. What happened, bro? That's not what it is. Yes, it is.

That's not what it. Hey, does silk really come from worms? Yes. I can fucking know it, dude. Yeah, it does. Soak comes from worms. Put those worms to work, dude. And silk is super strong.

Is it really? Yeah. Really strong. And Gucci makes the best. Some crazy, it's got some crazy strength. You have no idea what I'm saying. Like they can, I think it's stronger in some ways than steel. I don't know if that's true.

Well, glad you're here, dude. Yeah, we're glad you're here. We were getting deep. Getting real deep about comedy. Do you know DeLeo opened up for him? He brought him on the road first. Delia opened up for me. But after him, after he went, he went, boom, Dealia, a little Montgetois.

Yeah. Do you find that now that you're playing these massive arenas, do you miss the intimacy of a club at all or no? I do. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I still play the clubs. You do?

Yeah. Yeah, but I do miss. You still give to the poor people. No, stop. Just kidding. I do, I do enjoy the smaller rooms. I like to interact and,

you know, because when you do the big rooms, you got to play, you got to play big. Don't you get them jokes bad? Don't you feel like, because you shot, you're special in Hawaii?

Yeah. You know, like basically on the island, Oahu. Yeah. It's just on the island, Brian. Yeah.

Everybody watch. They put a stage. Everybody watched in the middle of the fucking island. Yeah, yeah. The whole island. Just the island. What's funny about your story is that I think Netflix kept passing. They had no idea how funny you were.

Or maybe they did, but they just, for whatever reason. They just kept passing. Piss me off, man. Didn't understand what was going on. Did they give you a reason? No. And it was crazy because I was like, I'm selling out 17 Brea shows in a row. And I'm like, I'm even offering to fly them to a gig.

I was like, hey, I got these shows. I'll fly you and fly you back the same night. Just watch this set. Please. Give me, I need this hour special. And literally, they were just like, hey, we're going to pass. We got all the specials for the rest of the year. So we'll come to you next year for 2018.

Because this is 2015. So strange. And how happy are they now? Well, I shot it myself. And I know you did. And I'm not just saying this because you're here. I can't tell you how many people have hit me up and like, dude, Joe Coy special. I was doing press last week the week before.

Everyone, dude, have you seen Joe Coy special? I'm like, that's my guy, man. But what's funny, I was talking to someone,

God, I forget, but they go, dude, I've seen Joe Coy special. And I go, that's my guy. They go,

no fucking way. I'm like, yeah, I'm texting with them right now. This is my guy, man. Well,

what's funny about that is that I've known you, uh, 20 years maybe. Yeah. You've never not been. You've never not crushed. I've never seen you not crush.

And what's funny is it just takes the business that long to catch up. It's like, I remember watching you fucking do, well, first of all, you should kill on Chelsea, but I remember the laugh factory. This is what I was talking about, like these are the guys

that I was talking about. Like, when he would walk in, these are the guys that we were, like the guys that were just coming into the laugh factory. Like, when you would walk in, we would all be like, oh shit, he's about to go up.

You gotta follow him. You know what I mean? Like, but I loved it. I loved watching to go, he would do the fucking, your vulture and shit. You would do all this. The eagle.

Oh, the eagle. Oh, fuck, I would love it. But that's what made I love that challenge of being able to follow you. We're saying how guys have set before you got here. Yeah.

We're saying how guys sandbag like to put bullshit in front of them so they look better. No, we were all, it was when you had to follow Joe. No, I'm not saying it's on the road, brother. Right. You know how big name comics

to bring guys that aren't that good so they look better. I never did that. I don't understand that. I brought the best guy I could find. Yeah. Because I think it makes the show better. Yes.

You know? But my thing is with you with Netflix, I feel like you don't need that. Like, but I know you want to be on there, but I don't see why you need that cosign. Like for me, it's different, right? Like, I needed it. I needed a showtime because I come from a different background. And to be legitimate, I need someone to co-sign that knows comedy, right? So I have to have that.

I can't just upload it to YouTube because any slap dick here can do that. But you're so ingrained. You're killing it everywhere. Like, maybe your next special. But this is my thing, though, it's like, I don't know. Like, when they told me they passed down, I was like, oh, well, fuck Netflix. Like, all right, who cares? But then now what is, because I feel like you're better than, and I'm just saying, like, you don't need them.

There's certain guys that don't need them. Like, when I hear Netflix, I'm like, all right, but you're going to get so many views no matter where you go. The one thing I would say is that a lot of America has it and it's very convenient. And even on my TV, there's a Netflix button. For sure. So that sense, it brings up. and then Joe Coy's there, you are going to get more eyeballs. For now, I do think it's changing.

For now. I won in Netflix, mainly because the first two specials I had, they shelved on Comedy Central. So you did them for Comedy Central? Yeah. And then they came at me. What year was that? And then I passed on that one.

What year was that on Comedy Central? Oh, man. I don't know. 10 years ago. So, and that's where they aired. You better watch it Friday at 7 p.m. Otherwise, you're not going to fucking see it. And I love those first two specials.

But that's not Economy Central's fault, is it? They were great. Did you see them? I didn't see them, but I know they were great. I loved them. In other words, I know the material that you were doing, and I know that they must have been destroyed, and no one sees them.

But it killed me. But that's not Economy Central's fault, right? Like, that's the nature of the business, though. That's Economy Central that many years ago. Like, what were they going to do? I mean, they didn't really have much. No promotion. Do you know what I think you should do

because it's what I'm going to do for my last two specials? Don't give it ideas. I'm going to, no, no, no. I'm going to redo, like, man class, right? Those bits used to fucking destroy the stuff you're talking about. I'm going to redo, I'm going to, once in a while, I'm just going to do an old bit. What's wrong with that? You're, that's a good idea, man.

I'm going to do an old bit. I'm going to do an old bit. And I'm going to do an old bit, and I'm just going to do that with every one of my fucking bits. Can I do that you? Fuck yes. Because there's some bits, man, that I, that I, that are gone. No one got to see them. It's not on digital.

They're like great songs that nobody. ever heard. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. I'm going to do that. I'm going to take 100% I love that idea. I'm taking those bits and I'm going to literally put them up. I love that. Yeah. I love that idea. I don't want them to go away. You know, sorry. No, go ahead. You could just do like a night at the comedy store in the main room film it of your best bit for an hour of your classic bits and then just chop it up and really sit down. I love that idea. It's a good idea. I really love that idea. Why not? Because people yell it out all the time. People yell out ting to me all the time and I can't do it. Like, I I can't even get myself to do it on stage.

But it's like, no one got to see that bit. No one got to see it. It's only going to help you release it and you own it. So you might as well release it. Well, the shit that you were doing. Genius sell more tickets. No, but I will say that before Joe, I know this for a, like I've saw it. Like before you became Joe Koy in terms of like where everybody knows you,

the shit you were doing back then was like a machine gun. I mean it would just be like I mean it would just be like but he didn't come here like straight off the I almost said the boat sorry he didn't come

he's a fucking immigrant I know I came I'm saying he came from Vegas for Danny Packer and myself and you guys had a set of gloves at a microphone and I and I remember

the first words I said was is this thing on is this thing on he had a strong he had a strong Togala accent strong Filipino accent yeah how's everybody doing the night

I remember that was the first right off the ball. And I was like, right. Remember me? I was a real racist, friend. I was such a racist. I was racist last time you were here. Get the fuck out of here. You fucking immigrant.

Yeah, he used to say that. You fucking immigrant, go back. And I shove you around. Yeah, you shove me around. Yeah. And I still, I would hammer through him in. I make it touch on. That was my closer.

Is this thing? I used to sell shirts. Yeah. It's this thing. Boom. I want you guys to know one thing. I had, all my teeth have been ripped out of my mouth. I was wondering what was.

I thought you had a dip in. No, man. I thought you had a dip and I was like, that's cool. Oh, man. What happened? I had a... Do you have veneers? See that?

Yeah. So I have veneers. Well, all of them were veneers, but I fell on a rock when I was a kid. And that's why I got the veneers. And then the stud that was in here collapsed two days ago. And they had to rip it out of my mouth and read. Yeah, because I had a stud in there since I was like, like 13 when I fell on the rock. And it's, you know, the material.

they were using back then was like steel or something not healthy and it collapsed so all this has been ripped out and what they did they put new ones in two days ago they put new ones in my teeth in two days that's nice did they put new ones in yeah they're these are all temps

I get my new ones in two weeks it's gonna hurt when they put that in yeah is anything worse than mouth pain like tooth problems how about like tooth problem thank God for modern day dental oh my god what did we do I know what we did. We lost all our teeth. When I was in Tempe, Arizona,

this guy had... Oh, that's exactly what happened. Oh, no. That's exactly what happened. Damn, that's not easy. They just ripped it out. Oh, that's not easy. Whose teeth are the third ones in?

Yeah, who is that? Is that a fucking rat? Yeah. Oh, that is a fucking rat. What is happening? So you know what that is? That's when they file the teeth down. To put on veneers?

Yes. That's when they file your fucking teeth down. Yeah, they filed all of mine. Like that? Yeah, it's awful. I'm not doing it. Oh, I'm not doing it. Oh, I'm not doing it.

You think this guy ever said... I was going to get veneers. I'm out. That hurts. You think this guy right here ever says, what is it that you don't like about me? Do you think he ever... You have a beautiful smile.

Is this something I said? I don't get it. I don't get it. Does he go like this? Beauty skin deep. Yeah. I'm a good guy. I'm a nice guy.

I'm a good guy. Well, I met a guy in Tempe and he was a masseuse. Yeah. And he was kind of a handsome guy. And he was missing his front teeth. Both? And yeah, and he was very self-conscious of it.

He obviously doesn't have the money for teeth. And I went, I swear to God, I was going to say to my friend, I was going to be like, listen, I will pay for his teeth. I would be, I'd be willing to give him $4,000. But did you? You know why? So it doesn't matter, right? I didn't because I, she left.

I don't have her number. And I, I fucking regretted it. This is the same, this same standup with the blind teeth thing. They were like that. They were like that. The bottom right down there. Why didn't you help this kid? Oh, God, you're a dick.

Why do you help this guy? I will. Too late now. Yeah, it's done. I don't like that people are walking around without front. You have to have front. Did you play hockey, though? It's a hockey look.

No, he was a big thick guy. No front teeth is, yeah, that's tough, man. It's tough. But is it, you don't even know the story, though. Like, you might want to know this story first. Like I said, is he a big hockey guy? He,

because that's their look. He was African American, and I don't believe they're allowed on the ice. Okay. Now was he. All right. That's a fair point. We edit, right?

There's nothing wrong with that. Stereotypes exist for a reason. That's what I heard. I heard they're not. I don't know anything. Now, a lot of times, again, this isn't a black-white thing or Asian thing. This is just whatever. Sometimes, in certain cultures, when they're missing teeth, it could be a crack thing.

Yes. He wasn't, though. He was very, he was a robust looking man. Smoke crack, you lose teeth. Yeah, but he was a robust. He was a robust looking man, robust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that word.

He was robust. He was muscular, big, strong. So you can't do crack If he's worked out I don't think that's what it was I think he got Probably punched or fell On a rock

Because he's a spastic Like decoy Weird That's weird Yeah that's crazy Wait he was massaging you No he was a masseuse And so was my friend

Take that option That third one down Makes you feel sick Yeah it's a tough one Yeah teeth Teeth are no joke If you're a dude He got bad teeth

Chicks For whatever reason We'll still deal with it if you're successful. If you're a chick with bad teeth, you are. Game set match. Yeah,

it's over. It's done. It's over. Yeah, I'm pretty bad with that too, man. If you have fucked up feet too, and you're a woman.

Oh, you're a foot guy. Yeah, it's done. It's done. It's done. It's done. If you got the big knuckle

on the side, the bunion. Oh, you're talking about bunions. Yeah, the bunion or even the, the corns? The corns?

Uh-huh. Why do they call them corns? Do you know what? They look like horns. Do you know what a murderous thumb is? You know the thumbs? You're talking about the one that goes all the way back? No, I'm talking about the hitchhiker thumb.

Or where it's cut. Yeah, the round, the shitty thumb. What do you mean? What do you mean? Bring it up. Bring up, I think it's called murderous thumb. I know what you're talking about. You and I have hitchhiker thumbs, right?

Do you? We do. What do you have? You see that thumb? You see that thumb? Which one? Which one? What's like it's a half thumb?

Which one? Right there? Yeah, it's a half thumb. See it right there? Oh, how it's wide and flat? Yeah. It looks like his prestos. Yeah.

Show another picture of it, though, because it throws me off, Tad. It really does. It's like, who, boy. It looks like a big toe. It looks like a big, fucking toe.

It looks like a big toe right there. You got a big toe right there. You got a big toe on your thumb. I have a problem. I have a problem. If a woman has that. Oh, dude. So weird.

I can't. I'm out. I'm done. I'm done. I'm a brother of bad teeth. There was a girl I thought was so hot. She had that. And then I went,

oh, thank God. Because I was like, I didn't think she liked me. And I was like, I was trying, and then I saw the thumbs and I went, oh, I'm fine. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. I remember I was with this girl and cute, right? And I'm just like, I hope she likes me. And at the end of the night, she goes, you're so nice and put her hand on my face.

And I'm just like, what the fuck? Is that on your hand? Her thumb. The big toe thumb. It was a big, it was just the biggest. Yeah. Fucking. Yeah.

Wide and flat. Well, that's like dating. I went on a date with this girl was on the Canadian National. water polo team. Yeah. And she was so hot, but strong and muscular. You know I like a muscular girl. Yeah, you like cock, too.

I like cock. And she had a big cock. But I, when I, when I, we, she laced her hands in mind. Yeah. And her hands were as big and thick as my, like her knuckles. Oh, well, remember our friend at the Laugh factory. He was like, dude, meet this girl on day now. Oh, cool.

Oh, yeah. She goes to shake my hand. Beautiful girl too. In golf, smile. I go, she was a regular size girl. I didn't even know what to say. I just went, nice to me. Regular size girl.

She walked to my friend. Dude. Yeah, he looks at me. He goes, her hands are seven times a size of mine. No. This isn't going to work. Small woman. Wait, and you have big hands.

Big palms. She had bigger hands in your own. Oh, dude. She just had, she was small, though. Very pretty. She killed and she had giant mitts. Fucking mitts. I went, how do you not notice that?

He goes, oh my God, you're right. I go, go, go put your hand next to hers, dude. Yeah. And then you look down. High fiver. High fiver. When you said that to me, you go, did you see her hands? And I go, hi, how are you?

And I shook. I was like, oh, my head. hand went away. Joe, if you're a foot guy, cat gets hit up nonstop to post picture of feet. People pay her for pictures. Oh, for the feet? Asians usually have nice feet, though. Yeah. Asian women have nice feet.

They usually have the little toe nail on the small toe, right? You have a full toenail? I have a full toenail. I have a little toenail. My day did a girl that painted the skin there and I caught onto it later on. I'm like, there's no nail there, huh? You're paying.

There's no nail on the skin. Something nod on that, huh? A long time ago. Well, they lose it because of the... There's no nail. Yeah. The pinion. The nail just fell off.

I mean, my nail's not great. It's barely here. You're a dude. You're supposed to have dude feet. Yeah, you're right. Dude are supposed to have dude feet. Chicks are not supposed to have dude feet. I'm sorry.

I feel like only Asian girls have cute feet, though. Asians always have cute. Are you a foot guy? Yeah, I'm a foot guy. Ah, man. 100%. Yeah. If you have a back foot...

You play your card, right? Maybe cat a... Walk out. But I think sometimes if you're from, like, if you're of Dutch extraction or you're a big Germanic woman, sometimes they can be hot and then you look down and they've got fucking, what I call large understanding. They have some big feet,

like the big toes and those long toes. Like you see a girl and you're like, wait a minute, that's a giant big toe. Yeah. And you've got your, your middle toe is extending way on. You're talking about the ET.

It looks like ET. Correct, sir. It's longer than the rest. You are correct, sir. It's antenna. Bring that up. My big. Yeah, the long second toe.

Yeah. Most people's are longer, though, I feel like. I'm forgiving. I'm more forgiving. Really? If you're really hot, I can deal with your feet. Oh, if you're really hot, I'm, bad teeth. If you're really hot, you don't have to have feet.

I don't know, man. It helps. That's got to go. That's got to go. You know what? That might be a picture of my feet. That's how my feet look. Yeah, but you're a dude.

I know, but still, it's not good. You know, I'm a little conscious of my big toe. It's so big. Is it? It's so big. Do you see it or now? I mean, I guess. I feel like taking my shoes off.

Is it because of fighting? No. It's because of life. That's not right. That's what happened when your foot gets cut off in traffic and it's spilt being off the other car. Jesus Christ. Go ahead and take that off. Yeah.

Yeah, my big toe is so big, man. It's just wide, you know? I have Flintstone feet. Do you have fat feet? I have fat feet. Mine's fat and wide. Yeah. That's what she said.

Have you seen people who wear it who've never worn shoes? And then I don't understand that. Oh, my, dude. Girls, I didn't do. Like, why are sandals? and your feet hang over the top. Over the top. You can't fuck out of my face.

Go home. We don't have sandals. Get socks. Just wear something with socks. You can't wear sandals where they fucking... No. Hang on. Like your shoes aren't a ride for your foot.

Yes. And it's hanging on. What are you? A human eagle? And it's work. And it's work. What are you grabbing the shoes? And it's work because your feet have to really work this.

You can hear a dragging along the ground. I hate it when they wear sexy heels and it's got the webbing, you know, the level. webbing that goes across all the feet and then the pinky toe comes out of the web of the web it's like it's like it's the lonely bird out yeah yeah it's just chilling like it's just looking out like that or i like through a bush it's lonely not without bring up like feet that have never worn shoes but but but also but also i hate when girls like whether it's fucking louis batons or whatever and they're they love them and their feet are fucking sandwiched in and they're red yeah they're red because they can't fucking breathe yeah they're being chos that's not sex

Those are feet that I've never worn shoes. Those are how... Oh, those are my feet. That's how your feet should be. Look at that. That's my big toe. What the fuck is that? And my son has the exact same feet.

That's from never wearing shoes and your feet just have a chance to breathe. And they get wide and paddle like. Yeah, they get... You look like a fucking man duck. Oh, Jesus Christ. Telling you, bro, these are what my feet look like. That's going to be me. You didn't break your foot ever kicking?

I broke my big toe kicking. You did? Oh, my God. Not in five. Is it over with after you break? your big toe? Yep, kind of over. Oh, God, Jesus. All these just deforms, though, huh?

We don't need to deform. It's getting sad now, Chin, for God's sakes. I broke my big toe not fight. Never broke my toes fighting. I broke my toe playing kickball in middle school. Nice. Yeah. Not as far you want to tell anybody.

Blew it up. Boom. What? Jesus. Yeah, because I was in a sling at the time and we were playing dodgeball. And, of course, I lasted the longest is me versus like three kids. And so I was like, why? can't, well, I just wasn't throwing.

I was in the back dodging. And then the whole fucking class is watching. We're playing in a wrestling room. I don't forget this. And someone yells, kick it. Because I don't have shoes on. I'm like, oh yeah, I can't throw. So I'm going to kick it to these kids out.

So I line it up. Everyone's go, Brandon. Brand, I'm like, this is me so fucking sick. Let's do this. I go to kick. And I kick as hard as I can. My hit hits the. Oh, my God.

Instead of the ball hits the ground. It just goes. And my nail. It just. compound fracture. That's like a... Oh! Remember John Jones at the foot? After his fight?

Yeah. It's not like that. Guys, I had a compound fracture. The worst of any kind. Compound femur fractures. No, you did not. Yeah. That's a tough one to do. I show you, but I don't have underwear on. I'll show you. Motorcycle?

Motorcycle. Do you don't wear undies? Be careful of a motorcycle. I got the long underwear. Look at this. You can actually see it. You're going to have to take your pants off. Holy shit.

You're going to have to take your pants up. And what happened? And what happened? Did it? I promise. Cat signed an NDA. I did. Did you sign of NDA? Yep.

I promised. Oh, shit. Dude, it's like a shark bite. That's the fucking dick. I don't know. I want to get it. Dude, that. You touch the bone.

Touch it. All the way. Go all the way. Doctor. Doctor, that's my dad. Let me taste. Dude, that's like a straight-up shark bite stuff. How did it happen, dude?

Motorcycle, I was up. I'm cold. it. Got hit by another motorcycle. Coming down a trail. And I knew it too. I knew it. I knew something bad was about to happen.

I was hitting it. Came around like a turn and then another bike just hit me head on. You're like triple X, dude. That's cool. Yeah, man. I think it broke on contact. Hold on. Motorcycle hit your leg.

I think he broke my leg. And then when I hit the ground, that's when it came out. Did you go out? Oh, it came out of your... Oh, yeah, it was compound. It stuck out this far. Did you pass out from the paper? No, I couldn't.

Way to go, body. And they pulled it, they pulled it, right? I had a broken tibula fibula too. See, this is all burnt. See that? Jesus Christ. Hey, fuck motorcycle. Yeah, forget motorcycle.

I don't know why people drive them. I don't get it. You fucking idiot. You're going to die. It's not even your fault. It's always someone else's fault. It's always the driver. My buddy is the doctor of the catastrophic injury institute in West Virginia Hospital.

I walk through those hallways. everyone who's paralyzed who will never walk again every single one that I saw or brain dead motorcycle ATV ATVs are the worst because they fall on you they bounce and you flip over on top of you fucking one after another I was like oh make those illegal

or make a cage around them don't have ATVs without a K, like it's so crazy without a roll bar you're like and these kids don't know they go too fast like we always do boom bump the thing goes shoot and they and it crushes them and that's the end it's so far.

So that was your last day on a motorcycle, yeah? Yeah, that was the last time. Fuck, that's a bad injury, dude. They stuck a pin, a triangle pin through this, this bone and pulled it with weights. And I literally, to go to the bathroom, I had to pull it myself. Take it off. How old were you at this time? 14, I turned 15 in the hospital.

They sure you were young, I guess. That's why when I'm on the freeway, I always pulls it aside when I see a bike. I always pull over and make way for them. Yeah. Because I don't want to be, I don't want to, I don't even want to see them crash, even if it's my fault. So if I can just get out the way and not see it, because they're driving like assholes anyway.

They're flying down the two lanes, splitting cars. It's so dangerous. I don't know why they do it. And I'm and here's the thing. I'm telling your viewers right now, if you're on a motorcycle, I lane change without a blinker. I just want you to know that. Most people do.

I'm the worst fucking lane changer. So if you're going to come down... And this isn't a racial thing. I'm not, look. But if you're going to come down at 65, 70 miles per hour during rush hour, down two lanes of cars. I just want you know, I change without my arrows. So you're probably going to hit me one day.

And here's the thing. I'm going to, sometimes I'm in my giant truck. I won't even feel it, bro. I just keep going. Yeah. I do feel it and it turns me. Sorry. No, but.

Yeah, motorcycles are just like. But when it's deadstop traffic and they're going down the center, I'm like, I'm like, sometimes like, God, I wish I was like that. I'm talking to a guy. I'm talking to a guy. Tell me who's out of my second. That guy's going to be in Ontario in 15 minutes.

That guy's going to beat me to the valley in 30 minutes. I'm talking to this guy and his buddy. They were riding motorcycles. And a dude drove by them at night. It was late at night. Shot him with a 22. What? Shot him right through the fucking, the bullet went, made a clean.

I guess went through his like back, but hit him in a non-vital area right through. He's driving and he goes like this. He goes, oh, I've been shot. A guy just came up, boom, like that Gang activity. It was just a random thing. They were on a highway and like... Not buying it.

Just driving. Random? Yeah. And some psycho, some psycho was like... Oh my God. And I had another guy tell me that sometimes you never know when somebody's going to try to run you off the road. There are psychos who just go, nobody's watching.

And they get off on it. I just can't imagine riding a motorcycle. It's stupid. I tell you what's fucking stupid is I take to Payne Canyon or Laurel Canyon to come here every day. There's guys on, I'm not, not motorcycles, bike bikes. Oh, how about these ones? How about the ones when you're like this? You're morons.

Move out, and they're backing up traffic. I'm like, dude. What the fuck makes me so mad. See you. Yeah, makes me so mad. What are you doing? Go on another trip. This isn't the court of front.

Yeah, are you getting paid to wear that? Yeah. Why are you dressed like? Why are you dressed like Lance Armstrong right now? Correct. Are you competitive? Why is there a team of you? Yeah.

Why is there a team? Why is there 10 of you? Why are you guys drafting? Yeah, I don't. Are you drafting for speed? You're still the slowest fucking people on the road. It's insane. Share the road.

Share the road. Share the road. Get out of here. Hey, get out of here. Unless you have a motor. Suck it. Yep. Yep.

Fucking. Every day I deal with them, man. Yeah. That's bullshit. If you're on our roads, people that drive cars pay for those roads. That's our road. It's taxes.

If you're, if you're riding a bike, you are, you are borrowing our road. Here's the other thing, that you don't have. You don't have the right to that road. Joe, here's the other thing. So they want to be like, go, we're part of the road. We're just like cars.

But then when it comes to stop signs and lights, they just fucking coast through, don't they? So you're not like a... You know what does embarrass me too, though? And you're on Sunday morning when you see those groups of bikers who decide they're going to relive the glory days. You're not a fucking game.

You're talking about real biker gangs. Yeah, not real bikers. But the boys, the older, like, dads. The older dads. And they're like, and now they have the bandana. Standard Harley. And they have like, American flag and just a group of them and they're just going to ride.

Yeah. And they blast the music? Yeah. Bump. Yeah. Bamb, yeah. And they take off and it's like, guys, just so you know, we're fucking, we're still keeping it real.

Yeah. I'm a little embarrassed. At least be criminals. I want to be one of those guys. One of them is an accountant. Oh, they're all accounts. They're an accountant. Yeah.

If you're an outlaw. A GM and like a warehouse. Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you get those. kind of the old fuck boy groups, right? Dad fuck boys, but then there's some real ones too. We don't fuck with the real ones. I'll be like, God, look at these morons. And then you'll see like

Mongols, hells angels. There's another group called Loki or something like that. I just turn away. There's a, I can't remember where the name of them, but they're like, I saw them in Vegas. I was like, okay. There's some bad boys. Yeah, and they looked at me and they're like, the Vagos, yeah. Oh, yeah.

They're down at Venice all the time. Yeah, I don't want any trouble. I don't think you should be in a gang when you're in the age like 30 I think gang is done If you're a Crip and you're over 40 Yeah You know what? Time to grow up

Yeah it's done To grow up It's done You can wear other colors now We're all the colors you're all the colors Yellow's a good color It's not like this in it Look at that motley assortment though

At least they live it They live it Just you know I'm with John A little embarrassing though at that age It's a little bit arrested With the hands And the tattoos behind his back Yeah

Too old bro You're too old for that. You probably got kids. Yeah. What are you doing? You wear a sleeveless leather vest? Yeah. Stop.

I don't know. Got to stop, man. Part of it is just that they've lived in a life of crime for so long. I know, but one day they wake up at 50 and they go, oh, I got to toss on a leather vest. Leather vest. Hey, honey, where is my oversized dicky shorts? He shouldn't be saying that at the age of 40. Hey, honey, where's my bandana and sleeveless vest?

Hey, where's my corduroy house slippers in high socks? I want to go on record and say, I want to go on record and say, I'm not making fun of any biker guys guys. I know. You know what? I'm going to go on record and say,

I don't approve of this. You're such a pussy. I don't know, I'm going to apologize. You are a pussy, though. I'm just saying, can you imagine being 50 and doing that? What are you doing? You probably don't have a choice. You're in it.

Honey, do we grease up the hog? What are you in? No, you definitely have a choice at 50. You have a choice of 50. A lot of years went by. I'm going to go this way. Well, you've got to be down for the cause. But you know what's crazy about those biker guys?

They lost track of time. You know what I'm saying? Look, I mean, callback. Joe, I don't know what you're talking. I'm just saying. Those guys lost track of time. They lost track of time right there.

You know, biker getting started, especially after Vietnam. Yeah. That's the house angels. Well, guess what, man? 2019. Yeah, man. What are you doing? Yeah.

Okay, guys. Keep talking. No, I like Hells Angels, dude. The Mongols are no joking. Well, the Hells Angels came to my show, and they're like, dude, you want to come to, the biggest guy I've ever, you know, I've been around that. This Hells Angel was so big and scary,

and all of them lined up for the meet and greet. I'm like, oh, well, this isn't good. The nicest guys. And then they're all drunk, and the guy goes, hey, man, we own the strip club up the block. We want to come. I swear to God, he goes, all the birds are sucking off the boys. I would have been like

The birds The birds are sucking off the boys I went All right man It was this right up the street Just Google you'll find it man Come up there Ask for me on it

No doubt I will see you there What's his name? Do you remember or no? No that's not say his name Dude I'm talking This motherfucker This is in Minnesota

No joke Big and all the boys were there Oh yeah Yeah The birds Those poor birds These poor birds Those poor birds are full

These poor birds I got all they can handle I'll say you this right now. Big boys. First of all, those guys, you don't just get into the Hells Angels without being a certain kind of badass.

And also, girls like those guys. They guys like those guys. Those guys like those guys. Oh, I was in Tim Dade for sure. Oh, yeah. I was like,

oh my God, these are some gnarly dudes. Like, we're a different breed. I'm not, I'm not into this. Yeah. And ladies,

the ladies. Like, I'd be on the back of, that guy was so big, I'd be on the back. Yeah. Brendan, Brandon's got a good,

you know, like Bruno, like Bruno, Bruno, where's these birds out? By birds, do you mean boys? Yeah. Hey, this bird's hungry, too. Hey, don't forget about the boy birds.

Boy bird. Boy birds are people too. It is San Francisco. Oh, no, you were in Minnesota. Minnesota, dude. Yeah, that was a gnarly fucking patch there, dude. Yeah. That's a badass.

I'm not fucking with bikers. I'm not fucking with me either. No, hell no. I'm scared of them. I'm terrified of them. Joko made fun of their best. Hey, but did you, you know what? You made fun of them.

I don't know. But I jumped on it, too. I jumped on it too. Call me a bird. I'll be a bird. I'll be a bird. A couple of birds. Hey, hell's angels.

I'm a bird. I'm a bird. I'm a bird, bro. I'm a bird, bro. Kaka! You're not an attractive bird. Kekha! That's a crow.

A bird, bro. Nobody wants you. Pull your worms out. Daddy's hungry. Nope. Nobody wants. Oh, no. That's not.

That's not. It's not attractive. It's not attractive. at all. Just line them up, man. One hell's angel at a time. Nobody's interested. Two at a time. That is hungry. Is it a buffet? Bird Bukaki, man. Woo, bird Buccacaca. Smothered and covered. Treat my face like Waffle House. You guys like Waffle House? Joe, I don't think they like you. Gather around. Sip my circle. Dude, let's go, man. Get your motors run in.

Get your motors. Caca. Caca! Dave. I just smack each one on the ass and my face is just Cover it. Go get them, guys. Like a synobon. Like a fucking synobon. Joe, be a sexier bird.

Try a different, try a different chirp. Choo-choo-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Oh, boy, that's worse. That's better. That's better. That's getting me hard. That's getting me hard.

Chit-choo. Chit-choo. Just say tweet, tweet. Tweet-tweet. Oh, yeah, there it is. Tweet, tweet. You guys are crazy. You guys are crazy.

Feed the bird. Open up. Yeah, there you are. Yeah. Mama birds here. I'm tweeting like crazy right now. Tweet tweet. I'm so full.

When he was going, Gak! He couldn't get any. But when he started tweet, tweeting? Yeah. When I'm tweeting?

Hey, I tell you that when Shane Carwin and I were going to do an appearance of Colorado Springs and the sheriff from the police department goes, oh, well, there's a bounty. There's a,

there's a biker rally here with Hells Angels and all the other dudes. And they go, there's a, we got word that there's a bounty that one of the, like, the muscle for the Hells Angel, anyone who can find Shane

Carwin fistfight and beat him up gets like a shitload of money. So you boys shouldn't come, man. You should cancel your appearance. What? Yeah, he goes, because they know UFC fighters come to town. And they step up to the challenge. Enjoy that challenge against Shane Carwin. Yeah, Shane Carlin would give him a beating.

But what's cool is it. I stayed home. I bet you those. I bet you, though. I bet you would be a fair fight. I bet you that guy would be like, let's go. And if he lost, he lost. Oh, I don't think so, Brian, because they're hell's angels. Yeah.

So Brian would probably start whipping. I'm sorry. Shane Carver probably start whipping the ass and went, dude, check this out. Shank in the back. Now fight. Oh, I'm saying. Oh, fear, fight.

Are you talking about the guys that smuggle billions of dollars of drugs into this country? Fear, fight and murder people? I don't know what you're talking about about that. Look at how big Shane is. Look at how he's right there with Brock Lesnar. And look at Rogan. Look at Rogan's face.

Wow, Rogan, I swear this. I thought he was going to win that fight, man. He was winning it. I thought he was going to win that fight, man. He was winning it. you were in his corner for that right uh well i walked out with him but i wasn't one of his corner was that exciting to why well because i fought uh brock lesnar's so the way they paired it Shane lesnar fought then Shane's basically

training partner and best friend fought Brock lesnar's train partner best friend Chris tushisher so it was my second fight in the u.cc and this chris tussure character had 30 he was like 30 and one Jesus bring that up let me see the face off with brennan and tushers his last name i knocked him out you're such a beast, Brett. I was watching some old shit of you. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy to hear your stories. Chris, his name

was Chris. Tush. Let's just do that. Shane is such a... It might come up. Yeah, there it is. The far left one. Damn, dude. You were a beat. You look like a different person, man. Now, he's not going to win any bodybone contest, but he was a tough dude. Yeah, 30 fights.

Fuck. What was your, what was your go-to punch, man? You're right? Overhand right. Overhand right? Yeah. That's what that is. It's a good shit. Look at that shit. Boom. Mm-hmm. And then that's me dust off my shoulder.

Second row, fourth picture in. That's after I knocked him off. I dust it off my shoulder, like an ass. Oh, that's cool, man. Well, you had shit on your shoulder, though. I did have bird shit on my shoulder. Cocky kid. Caca!

You're cocky kid. Confident. Big difference. You knocked this guy out and soon after you're blowing a hell's angel. Yeah. I'm sucking Hells Angel did. You're sucking. You fucking bird.

And I got a shirt. as prospect on the back. Big kid. Is it hard to look at those pictures? A little bit, yeah. Really? Yeah, I don't like rumors. I've never been a guy

who rumminesis on old times. Yeah. At all. I'm trying to sell out Brea. I'm trying to come up with you. Yeah, yeah. You ain't got time for that. I don't care.

Yeah. I actually shut down when people talk to me about it. Like there's nothing worse. I don't mind this. There's nothing at a comedy store. If I'm talking, someone's like, dude, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's no time. Yeah, the wrong environment. Yeah, please no. that's crazy man I mean I cover some fighting but not nowhere near like I used to I was a high stress time for you all the time right all the time you know what I mean super stress I knew him when he was fighting and and like the emotional stress

the constant looming idea that you're going to have to fight somebody yeah that's got a suck I there's one question this is it always you get a free pass okay this is the one question that always that I've always wanted to ask how angry do you get when your opponent doesn't make weight. I was heavyweight, so there's never an issue. Oh, there's no issue.

You can't be over 265. Yeah. I think I fought, let's see, Roy had to make 65. Tusher had to make, I fought a guy named LeVar Johnson, who's in prison now, I think, for trying to kill his wife. But he could have won Olympia, and he was so jacked on steroids. You even said to make sense. Dana, didn't you?

You know, he's not sterile. I think during the way off, we're weighing off and I go, and we go to shake hands, I look at Dana and I think it was Joe Silver that I go, well we all know he's on steroids, yeah? And then he failed the steroid test after I beat him. That's him there. Oh, you want to talk about biker gangs? Oh yeah, that was the muscle. I forget which biker gang.

Him. So check this out. Knocking everybody out. So he was on like a six-fight win streak knockout, knocked out everybody. So he just knocked out, Pat Barry. Then they give him to me, right? So we're in the lot, we're in the hotel lobby after the fight. I'm there with my family.

First on my Uncle Pax, seeing me fight. So my whole family's there. And this is after I beat him. And he walked, wasn't happy. He kept saying I didn't fight him because I kept grapple him,

kept taking him down. I think I took him down like 14 times, some shit like that. And on the ground, he'd go, won't we get up and give people a show? Won't we fucking, won't we bang, bro?

And I'm like, why don't you learn jihitsu? I just kept fucking wrestling him. So he was pissed after the fight. He's like, you didn't want to fucking fight. I'm like, all right, whatever I won, get my check.

We're back at the hotel. and all the like some of the fighters there but I'm there with my whole family like family family mom brother yeah fucking my uncle who I love my dad's there everyone's there he walks him with all the biker gang I hit my brother go hey get ready to go he goes what do you want to go get ready to go they like this that's a gnarly dude and his biker buddies come up to me and they're roasting him they come up to you go dude you can fucking fight shook my hand and bought me a drink oh that's good yeah and then I sucked them off yeah yeah that's why I let you and your brother just my brother I don't know.

I feel like anybody. I feel like any of those guys has to always respect you because you're in the cage. You've got yourself there and you're in it. I mean, how do you, how do you disparage it, dude? Yeah,

but that was their boy and I didn't like, I didn't, I didn't, because he was such a powerful hit. I was so much more on the ground. He hits so hard. I was just going to take him down. It was like,

so I was afraid there. I'm like, dude, you're a pussy and like in my face. And I'm there with my family. Yeah. You only got one person that's kind of got your back, your brother.

Definitely has my back. Yeah. Yeah, my brother's tough. What was he sentenced to? I think life for... What? No, I don't think life. Here's the other thing.

Terrible person with his wife, to me, my engagement with him, amazing dude. Really nice. Really? I mean, did all the steroids when I fought him? So that's not cool, but still was friendly. So you got a hefty sentence. Oof. Did he really hurt him?

Corley punch and slammed his girlfriend. Great bodily injury. Keep scrolling down. Does it say how long he got? 10 years. Oh, shit. He did so bad. He pleaded not guilty of the charge, but then switch his stance when a full sentence of over 10 years put on the table, he has to judge for mercy.

So he's giving five because they were going to. I'm sorry. Like anything else, Brennan, he sounds like he's a complicated guy, right? Really nice to you, has a dark side that he loses control. What do you mean to anybody else? No, I don't understand that. What do you mean like anybody else? No, I mean, I'm saying he can be, when you're hanging out with him, I'm sure he's a really nice guy.

Oh, sociopath. Well, or, or just to fucking sometimes nice, other times, dark side, lose control, fucks you up. Well, I don't know people like that. There are people like that. I don't engage with any. I have no friends like that. There are people like that one's saying. Yeah, that guy.

Yeah. But in general, no. Receives five-year sentence for the brutal assaults girlfriend. Dude, you know how he must have a thing. Five, hold on, five years. you know how much Greg Hardy got you know how these other guys that beat the fucking women got oh Greg Hardy got zero sir

because he scared the defendant away so they didn't get a case I think he tried to do that too right I don't know Jesus what the fuck five years for being up you know how bad you have to be able to a woman to get five years bad well also

would you come out and that's your charge hard to get a job oh oh no you think he's gonna work in the real world. No, he's a biker gang B. Yeah, he's not going to apply it subway. I see. I see. A real biker gang man, in other words. Oh, no. Oh, Bobba.

Oh, what do you think I was talking about? Like fucking Sunday, fun day biker? No, I'm not real shit, man. And real shit. Oh, yeah. Gotcha. I got you. Yeah, like Mongol, hell of angels type. That's him. Okay, okay. Yeah. Legit tough dude, man. Yeah. I'm just more athletic. I'm not tough in there. Wait, he was in trouble in 2007 for a separate domestic abuse incident, serving Thursday days in jail and having an ago alcohol

counseling. He was among five people shot in Bakersfield in 2009 during a family gathering which left one member of his party dead. He was in critical condition to have his appendix removed. He was able to recover and resume his fighting career. Wow. There's a huge scar on his stomach.

That really, really long one. He came out the gate super hot in the UFC, like knocked out Pat Berry, I think Czech Congo, like it's amazing, amazing fights. Maybe Stefan Struev and then he started, Once people figure him out, then he went on, I forget, bring up his record chin. Yeah, look at that scar.

He definitely didn't fuck those girls in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring up a guy and beat. He definitely had to hold him down and choke him and fuck their face. Where are we out here? Oh, so yeah, there you go. So, yeah, he went on a rough skid there. So I got him after he lost to Stefan Strove, but he didn't come off that.

So he came into the UFC, yeah. So he knocked out two guys, knocked out Joey Beltron, beat Pat Barry. and then lost a strew via arm bar and that's when I figured out he couldn't wrestle and then they gave me him and then he went on they got rough for him after that guy's like oh we got it but he's a tough dude

yeah a lot of fights I hate talking about fighting though yeah it's not just kidding what was the last fight you're in oh god if there's one thing I hate worse than my fighting it's his fighting in the ring in the ring just like a fight

I mix it up in the ring bro Do you mix it up in a real street fight? You haven't. When do that? Have you been in a fight? Chicago was the last fight over there. How long ago was that? About 10 years ago.

Yeah. You know why? Because we're too grown. Yeah. What happened? What happened? I forget, man. It's just stupid, drunk.

Steve Byrne got, uh, how old are your kids? Uh, my son's 16. So he was six at the time. Yeah, he was six. Now that I have kids. That's when I knew it was dumb.

Yeah. Now that I have kids, like I literally, I told you about this. Like a month ago, I had a meeting at CBS. I was leaving. This guy cut out in front of me. I honk my horn. He slams on brakes it and gets out.

And this guy looked like shit. Like I'm talking every bit of, I don't understand that. I built like Foxcar Willie, like a little. I mean, just look like shit. Yeah. Like when they were giving out- Not an athlete.

When they were giving out genetics, like, mm-mm, mm-mm, back in line. Well, way back, wait, even farther. Go back. Well, wait. Gets out of the car. How tall? He's all red. Excuse me?

Five-seven. it. Five seven, Brian, completely out of shape. Obviously, it's having a rough day. Wants to fight you. Hits my fucking hood of my car. And I'm coming out of a meeting with CBS. And I'm like, there's no way this is happening. And I just go, dude, you pull out in front of me. I'm just giving you warning like, you're going to hit me.

My car's going to just run over yours. He goes, fuck you get out of the car. I'm like, oh my God, is this really happening? I got out of the car. I know. It's so weird. And I go, what happened? What do you do?

What are you going to do, dude? Do you have a gun? If you don't have a gun, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? And I can see he looks at me and he goes, fuck you, man. And I went, yeah, I know. Get back in your car. It was so awkward.

I don't know. There's so, there's no upside. There's so, I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed because there's out front of restaurant. There are people there just watching. People had their phones out. And I'm like, well, I'm like, dad. And I shot at me with CBS.

Also, there's no upside. There's no upside. In any way, if you win, it's worse in some ways. I don't understand anyone that gets out of the car and challenges a fight to what's ever in that car. You don't even know what's in that car. You know, no, no, no. That's like, hey, look, that's like me going up to a door and going,

open up that door. Might be an alligator. It might be an alligator. It might be a lion. Who knows? Who knows? Take your chances. But it's worth the fight.

But my thing is, is you blob me. I can't get out. He goes out of the car. I'm like, what the fuck is happening, dude? I was mad at myself, I got out of the car. I got out just like, dude, to talk, like, what are you doing? So check this out. My buddy's hanging out with a guy, you know, and they're at a bar.

And this guy is a badass and kind of a bad guy. Fighter? Yeah. And but also just, also like a guy who plays a little bit for keeps, a little bit off. So my buddy, who's a great guy, they, these two dudes, for whatever reasons are having words, the two guys go, let's go outside. And the guy who my friend's with goes, you want to both do this or what? And they go, whatever you want to.

He goes, okay, I'll be outside. And so my friend said, when he went out to see what his, he was like, I guess my friend's going to fight these. He didn't know him very well. But he goes, he's actually taking martial arts class from him. And he goes, he comes outside, and these two dudes are kind of tough come out.

And he's like, fuck, I don't know. He was really nervous. And you know what the dude was doing? He had this long, hooked blade. What dude, the fighter? The guy who was a fighter. He had a long, hooked blade. It was long and serrated hook blade.

And do you know what he was doing? He was picking his nails with it. He wasn't looking at them. He was in the parking lot just going like that and getting the dirt from under his nails. That's great. He didn't do anything. He was just going like that.

And the fucking two dudes went, they saw him. They went, he's got a knife. Fuck this. He got a knife. And they went right back inside the bar. Yeah. That's all.

He didn't even look at it. I'm just going to pick my nails with this knife. He would have, obviously. That's a scene from a movie, by the way. I mean, this is a guy who's going to play for keeps. This is a guy who plays for fucking Keith. Dove Davidoff will tell you the story. Dove Davidoff took a class from him.

A knife class. No one I know then. No. Oh. Not a UFC fighter, yeah. No, no, no. This is a different thing. This is a guy.

This would be an older guy. He's watched a ton of fighting. No, this guy's, he's not older. He was athletic and big and knew how to box and all that, but it's just a different thing. But no professional background? I think he did. He fought Muay Thai in Thailand professionally, in fact. Is it different?

And I know him? No, you don't know him. You know the guy who, you know the guy who's with him. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. I just want to say his name because he's a little scary. I met him a couple times and he's a little scary. He was a little like, but of course he's scary.

Well, of course, because he will quote unquote unzip you. That's what he called it. That's what he calls it. Yeah. He goes, well, I can unzip. Or give you a zipper. Do you know what he said to me? What?

He goes like this. Was he a former Hell's Angel? No. He goes like this. He goes, I was standing there. and he said, I'll never forget this. He goes, well, you don't need a blade

more than, you know, I can take a three-in-blade. And he goes, and I could scribe your spine from the front. Scribe your spine. What's a scribe? Meaning I could take a knife here. This guy sounds kind of lame, dude. And open you up like this.

This guy sounds kind of like a tool. Yeah. But he's kind of real, too. Like he's one of those guys where you're like, you're, you're, you're... But if someone went, dude, I'm going to scribe. You're unbalanced. No, no, he just was explaining.

what a knife can do. He was explaining what a knife can. At dinner? But why do you say scribe? Scribe. But why is he telling another dude what the knife can do? I'd be like, all right, dude. Okay, so because my buddy was writing a book on on survival. And one of the things was, what's the best weapon to have? One of the things would be a knife in a situation. And then he looked into guys who actually were... Knife fighters. Who taught Special Forces guys, all that stuff. And he's one of those guys. Who's the whole life is... He knows guns. He knows knives. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows. He

He teaches tactical, you know, defensive. I don't think he was ex-military. Just a different guy. Yeah. Has he ever scribed somebody, though? Probably not, I think. Probably not. You know what I mean?

Like, he knows the technical term. He's probably Googled it. Has he really scribed anybody? Has anyone been on the ground? He's like, you fucking scribed me, man. So here's how. Yeah, that's your spine right there, buddy. But here's that's your spine.

Your scribe is good. You scribed. Oh, did I scribe? you good. But you know what I felt? You know what I felt from him? I felt more than, no, I felt like he was, he might be a, like, he, like, I felt like there was a lie. A fetish to the violence. Like, I felt like, if you kill people. Why? Because you'd scribe?

Yeah. Like, I felt if you do have a bunch of bodies in your basement, I wouldn't be surprised. That's kind of why I'm, that's why I'm talking about. Boy, he's full of shit. You know what I'm saying? You know those guys? There's a lot of guys that are full of shit. Yeah. Could, because most of the bad guys don't, they're not going to give you down. They're not going to tip their hat. But he was kind of like that. They don't clean their nails at the night.

But if he's telling you guys about it, the real sociopaths aren't like that. I was with a guy with him who was talking about it. So he wasn't that kind of guy. He said scribe. He was a rough character. He was rough. He looked right. I believe he, I believe that in that situation.

He might be a dude playing a dude playing another dude. But I believe in that situation he would have used that knife when he was picking his nails. I believe that that's what he would have done. He was going to use that night. Were you there when that happened, though? No. See how my friend was Because this is how it goes

Real dark out And guys like this This is how it What is it? What is that? No, no It's just like this No, no I believe my friend

Who was there I believe 100% You know what is when you're fighting It's tough to kind of Yeah not Not when you got a big long blade You tend to see that When somebody's going like that

You tend to see it And in a lit parking lot I don't know I don't believe I don't know I'm sorry Brian I don't bite either I just

I don't think you really met this guy I don't know This guy Is this guy you? Is this guy you? Is this guy named Brian Callie? It was me. Fuck, man.

How did you read into that? Is this your character and Joker? How did you read into the fact that I fucking, I as you? I scribed two spines. You described. Oh, fuck, I'm so. Oh, no. You're the zipper.

You're the zipper. I'm the unzipper. Brian Callant is the zipper. The zipper. Fuck, man. I was trying. Jack the Ripper. It, it, yeah.

Unzipped him. It's a little too Hollywood for me with the pick-in and then he goes, I'll be your huckleberry. Yeah. Well, that's a famous line. That's a famous line from Tombstone. And I remember I said, I mean, he said that. Fuck. Fuck. God damn it. And I, and I slew them. I slew two men. You slew two men. And I slew them and I went, time to get your spine inscribed. So as I scribed, as I scribed, I go, scribe. As you're going across.

Uh-huh. Dude, I'll tell you this is going to bring this podcast screeching halt, but I just got to say it. They're, uh, you ever get PTSD? I've been like, I'm gay. I'm like, I'm so, you know those hell's angels? I was the bird. There's no birds. I was, I was the bird.

I was the bird. Boner busting out of my jeans. I got all my holes filled. Um, multiple times. Um, yeah. Hey guys, I can't pay for dinner, but I do have holes. I'm what they call air tight. Hey guys.

No air getting in this guy. We don't have money to pay you guys. And we know you owe you, we owe you for a gambling debt. But Joe. Chiquoy has, he's what's called airtight. I'm airtight, guys. He's down to go airtight. He's down for the airtight.

He's got to holes. He's got to hole. I have two holes in a couple of ears. Fill me up. There you go. Hands and feet. What's glazing. Oh, what I was saying is,

Filipino donut. You ever get PTSD from pictures you see? Yeah. Like a dude, there's this picture of a dad and his daughter trying to cross the border. No, no, I don't want to hear it. What happened? They get killed? A dad and a daughter trying to cross the border in the water.

They've showed up both face down. But on Twitter, it goes, graphic content. And usually it's like a bird eating a fucking worm. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Well, that's too graphic for me. That ruined my morning. Yeah, man. That got me.

That got me. It's all I've been thinking about this entire podcast. Even though you made up an entire story about a guy of knife fighting. And we're talking about a special. All I think about that dude and the daughter. See, that's what happens is you can't watch that stuff. You can't watch that stuff. You go down that.

Why did you click it? It was like, I don't know. It's in my news feed. And I was like, too graphic for me. Again, usually it's like an eagle ripping a fucking penguin's head off, which I find fun. I had a little PTSD because I happened upon a fucking video of one of those meat grinders. And they put a dead horse in there, a whole horse. Like face first.

Just through the whole horse in there. And the thing goes, the whole horse. And it just goes. Yeah. Like a big horse. That like rolled its ankle on the. I kill him. It was a live horse.

I mean, it was a dead horse, dead horse. But it was a full grown horse in this machine that breaks down me. And I was just like, I was like, oh, things can be so terrible. Oh, my God. Now, you went searching for that, sir. No, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was shown to me. That ain't on the feed, though, bro. No, it was shown to me by a certain guy that we know.

The guy who killed people. Yeah, the guy who picks him. Someone that's scratch. I'm just not buying a horse. You want to see a horse gets crap. Do you buy any of this, Joe? He said, do you want to see a horse gets crushed? Let's do some current events.

And I could scribe your spine. This guy. You're a liar. This should be called the fighter and the liar. Actually, when it's done, when the podcast is done with it, I'm going to show you who it is. I'm going to show you. You're lucky we don't have a fact check for you.

No, I have a fact check. I can show you who he is. You'll see. You'll see after I'm done. You're talking about the scriber? Yeah. I'll bring him up. Just from the story.

I'm actually afraid. I'm a little bit afraid of him, so I'm not saying his name. That's how I feel. When you see it, I think you'll go, oh, okay. I don't think so. And it's in your phone. Huh? You have his number in your phone?

Or we got to look at what he's... Text him and go, have you scribing anybody lately. I don't have his fucking. Oh, I don't have his phone number. No, no, no. Nice. Oh, easy. Nice.

So, San Francisco is set to ban all e-cigarettes by 2020 that are approved by the FDA. And currently no e-cigarettes are approved by the FDA. Because the vaping? Yeah. They say it's fucking over the, the, the... young culture. I had something like 6% of high schoolers or some crazy number.

Because it smells like candy, right? So they think it's harmless, but it's actually like smoking a full pack of cigarettes. No shit. So are they fine and the e-cigarettes are very bad? It's way worse for you. Is it really? Yeah. But it's... Because it's no filter. So it's pure like fucking nicotine.

But isn't nicotine less harmful than the actual Nope. Nope. Yeah. Because they say smoking a certain amount of e-cigarettes is that. the same as smoking a pack a day when these kids are just doing like a thing yeah it's really bad for you oh it's got in candy and whatever so kids are like oh it's cool it's fine yeah you've seen all the hot instagram miles with their titties out and their fucking cheeks out the back everybody i know vapes so many people vape a lot of weed vaping right i gotta be honest i don't know anyone that

vapes yeah i see it all the time we're at the store that whole fucking kids the show we do with tripoli is all weed back there right not the comics though It's like the weird dudes in the back. And every time they always have donuts back there, they have the food, I'm like, is there weed in these, Sam? Right, can I eat these? You got to ask. Because you got to ask. Those donuts were good.

You and I had a donut last night. Sir, I ate once yesterday. I had one chicken sandwich, I didn't eat, so I was starving when I got there. How many did you have? You had a couple. I saw you. I caught you. I had two small sprinkled donuts, dude.

Yeah. Worked out for an hour and a half today, though. So watch your fucking mouth. All right. You should text your scribe guy. Yeah. But, yeah, e-cigarettes supposed to be really bad for you. You look like a, you look like you do e-cigilates cat.

No, I don't do anything. You do hookah? No. Have you ever done any drugs? Yeah, very little amounts when I turned 18 just because I wanted to try. What kind of drugs are talking here? Heroin. Yeah.

Black tar. Meth. Meth. Meth. Just a little bit. Dabbled to meth. What did you do? Just pot, hookah, stuff like that.

Really, really mild stuff. Never cocaine, huh? No. I was too broke for that. I feel like you do cocaine You ain't never done you blow, right? What? You ain't never going to blow.

What? Cat looks like she'd do some cocaine and write an entire book in a day. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if I could afford it, maybe. I mean, you could afford cocaine. Hey, Cat, I can. I can't. I'll tell you who can.

My friend here. Daddy can never want it. I know a guy who gets great coke. I know a guy who was like, here you go. And he's got a bad. I'm like, I think you can get in a lot of trouble for that much below.

I mean, that's L.A. I didn't realize how many people on drugs. I get to, Oh my God. Brian is always going to be the guy that knows a guy. Yeah. I have a, no,

but the best is, Brian always knows the guy. If you could go back over the six years we're doing the show where he goes, I got a good friend. I can't say his name. He's in, he's a defense attorney. It's always that.

Yeah. That's cool, though. It's cool to know that many people. They exist. The way? Our friend right now is using that guy. No,

a defense attorney. Not a me? No, I don't. I have no idea what you're talking about. No, I do. I do. I'm not trying to hear it out.

Why don't know you do that? You've been secretive this whole time. The one time you need to be secretive, you allude to it. So the FBI is watching you, dude. You're not a big drug guy, are you, Joe? Yes, he is. No, not?

You fucking drug out of it. I don't do drugs? I don't do drugs all the time. What about when you're young? Look at you, dude. Your eyes are shifting back at the point. You're looking at my lip. Your lips are getting me.

I'm hungry for some cocaine. No, Joe, don't do it. It's a dead end. Dick. Joe, nobody's the only way I like that. That's all I don't really like doing drugs. like doing the things you have to do to get drugs. And then I got it. I didn't want that. You know what I mean? I don't want the cocaine,

but can I suck your dick for some cocaine? God, it just gives me an excuse. And then you just keep the cocaine. I just like doing the dirty. Then you don't feel gay. You don't feel gay. Yeah, you don't. I'm straight enough to like blow and therefore I do. Yeah, man. But have you ever done any of that stuff or no? Yeah, I think I did in the past. Not your thing. Not my thing. Not me neither. My brother's, my brother is crazy and I saw a lot of drugs. It doesn't work out for anybody. when you're over 30 doing drugs. Yeah, I don't understand that.

It just doesn't. Nobody did a lot of cocaine. Nobody had problems or was broke and did a lot of cocaine, and then it got better. It never happened in the history of the world. Nobody did a lot of cocaine and started a business, even though you want to start a business when you're doing it. Nobody did anything.

I mean, I had a friend that had a couple sushi restaurants, both of them gone because of cocaine. That bad, huh? That bad. I remember him closing the windows to his restaurant trying to hurry up and get everybody out so you can just get the party going. I'm just like, God, dude, is this really your life, man?

Yeah, he sounds awesome. Stop talking to him. Yeah, you got, I can't associate with that. I can't do it anymore. You can't. Just always a party. Can't be around it. Always a party.

What else you got cut? Oh, here. So the DMV is set to close for half a day on July 24th for customer service training. Hopefully customer service training. training on moving fucking faster. Exactly. That's what it is. Oh, really? Yeah, there's a transition now with driver's licenses here in California where

they're switching to the real ID and everyone is trying to get in to get that switch. But there's just such a large influx of people coming in. How's it not automated at this point? Like when I was there, I'm like, how is it not just, why am I dealing with all these people? Exactly. How do they not just do this picture? Thank you.

Out the fucking door. How is it not automated? I don't understand how DMV still has printers that make that sound that It's so strange. What the fuck? It's not 1970 anymore. Why not put some resource into it? It's so crazy.

I had to go there last, a month ago. It was insane. Yeah, it was insane. I'm like, how the fuck is there not a machine? I just type my shit in.

Wait, so take a picture, I'm fucking out. So you're saying, so you're saying government isn't efficient? So how interesting? It's what drives me crazy when I hear people like socialists.

Like, we need more government, more social. Okay, enjoy that shit. How's it? How's the DMV? How the fuck is that with no accountability? You're going to create more government agencies?

Enjoy that shit. Fuck off. That's the truth, though. You're right. 100%, man. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. Last night when we were doing shows at the comedy store,

Sam Trippley and Eddie Bravo cornered me. We started talking conspiracy theories. They got some points, man. They got some points. Slowly converting a little bit. I was all the way over here. Wasn't there a Jim Morrison conspiracy? You're talking about Laurel Canyon conspiracy theories?

I'm reading a book on that. A lot of that's too many coincidences, bro. It wasn't just a pocket of creativity? No. Where people were moving there because everybody else was moving there. Well, no, because all of them have military ties. All the parents do. So did the military write those songs?

No, the military didn't write songs. They helped them, though. Helped them what? Well, they're all there. All the families are there in the same area. And they had their own production. And they didn't get popular because they were genius songwriters? No, nope.

That most of them didn't even write their own songs. Who did the government? No, I don't think the government wrote this song. No, they didn't. I can tell you that because nobody in that government's that creative. No. You better shut up right now. I'm telling you, no, there's some weird stuff there.

There's some weird stuff. What would be weird? So the Laurel Canyon, the hippie movement in the Royal Canyon? 1968, yeah. Crosby Still's Nash and Young, all those guys. All of them. Yeah, but what happens is when there's a group of people, Hendricks lived there for a little while,

Jim Morrison lived there for a little while. Mama's and the Pappas. Yep, so Mamas and Papa's. Morsons, both that served the same military, Navy, right? Okay. Yeah. Just saying it's weird. Everybody back then served in high school.

There was a draft. When I'm reading it, I'm like, yeah, but the back then was a heavy military. There was a draft. That's what I'm saying. So a lot of them would be military. Yeah. It's a little way, and it's fun to talk about. Yeah, it's fun.

I'm not sold on this. You know, but what I'm saying there is a little, it's kind of strange how all those bands back then came from the same place. All parents were in the same military. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, the hippie culture was developed there. What's the idea behind the conspiracy? Well, it wasn't the government

introducing the psychedelic drugs at that time? Correct. That's that, they were the ones that led the movement of the hippies. They created the movie. But you know, you know, it destroyed, you know, it destroyed the hippie movement, right? So after Hade Ashbury,

so there was this renaissance of amazing music, right? And it was psychedelics. And then what destroyed the music, and they've been a great documentary around this, was heroin and cocaine, especially heroin. Once heroin came in, people like Lou Reed who were so talented and so promising,

the Pogs and all these people. And there's not a book called The Dark Stuff written by Nick Kent. And it just fucking, it's when the music died. It killed the music because so many young people, Janice Joplin, so talented, dead at 27. Hendricks, so revolutionary dead at 27. Jim Morrison, phenomenal.

You think all that's a coincidence? They all died at 27? Of course. And all came from the same area. They're all drug addicts. And all came from the same area? Yeah, they're all were. So all of them...

How old was Jim? All of them were copying. Are you kidding me? 27 and wasn't into music. And so was a Kurt Cobain. And all of them, all of them basically were, had been doing drugs for a long time.

But back then, remember, they were copying, a lot of them were copying their heroes like Charlie Parker and some of the blues musicians from Billy Holiday to everybody else who were already doing a lot of heroin.

So it was like cool to subscribe to having a drug drug. But also the hippie, a lot of people think the hippie movement started an, and Ashbury in San Francisco. It didn't, though. It started in Laurel Canyon.

No way. Oh, yeah. You're blowing my mind right now. It started there. Because it was such a creative place. And what they would do is... Where in Laurel Canyon? Are you reading 1968 that book?

No. It's a great book. I'm in a Laurel Canyon. Wait, am I tripping right now, but where? In Laura Canyon? Just in the canyon? So you know the road? Yeah, in the houses.

And you know the market? The Laurel Canyon market? Yeah. That's where one of the main guys owned. Yeah, I know exactly. And his son died there. It's crazy. You should read 1960. And 1968 is a great book.

And Charles Manson. What? What? I got to. Now I got to go to that store. It's so fun. I always pass that store. Oh, dude, that's why I was driving down there and then because. And it looks like something now that you said that, it looks like something from that.

I got to go to that. And I own stores there. It's because I always drive down there. So I love driving through and knowing the history of it. It was everybody with concerts. If you were a musician and Houdini, Houdini had a house there. that burnt down. If you were a musician,

Charles Manson. You wanted to live there. If you were a musician. Charles Manson lived down Lower Canyon. There was a migration of musicians who were young and hungry and they all went there. And some of them all lived in the same house at one point. Yep, called the cabin. Uh-huh.

What? This is blowing my mind. I love this. And then the CIA, and this isn't a conspiracy to be. CIA has a huge complex in Laurel Canyon that had its own producing studios and everything. And a lot of music came out of there, which is what other.

A lot of their music? A lot of their music. out of it. See, that's what ties this all together. It's a little weird, but the only thing, so now that's gone, right? You know who owns it? Jared Letto. He bought it. He owns the entire complex of Lower Canyon. Nice. That the CIA has a building. Jared Letto is clearly CIA. I'm not saying he is. I'm just saying, would you look at the history of the CIA and Laurel Canyon, all the bands came out of there, all the band's dads that would connect the military. Well, you got to remember also.

And they all went to elementary together. Yeah. And how Jim Morrison wasn't in the music at all. You got to remember CIA, I mean, Gulf of Tomkin. HIPP wasn't? No. This is crazy. Jim Orson. It's below my line right now.

I love this shit, bro. And here's the other. I will fall in a conspiracy wormhole and I will stay up to the morning looking at that. But I don't go full into it. The only thing with Jim Morrison that is strange with it too is so he started to explode and people worked on his looks because he did have like a military. So he had super military cut, right? So he started to get the hippie movement.

and then they would do live shows off sunset. Well, he can't really, he's not a great singer. A lot of his guys can even play the guitars very well, so the live show suck dick. So his albums were great because a lot of it was, you know, bells and whistles that they didn't do. Can I just tell you, whoever's telling you this? No, this is a book.

He's crazy. I'm just telling you that. In other words, Jim Morrison, I can show you live performances. I've watched him. He was unbelievable as a front man and so talented. For sure. And the doors were.

insane. No, B, you're missing the point. So you're getting defensive? I'm not, I'm not a conspiracy thing. I'm saying when he first started out, all the bands, they couldn't sell tickets because the performance was so bad. Sure, they were younger and they learned how to do it. But if you look at, like, how

I mean, they're just... And what else is weird is Jim Morrison interviews, would say his parents are dead. He didn't want any association with his ad being in the military. So the FBI and CIA, there was a real fear that there was a, like a communists. There were communes. So there was a real red scare. Remember, this was during the height of the Cold War. So there was a real concern that our youth were being corrupted by communist ideology,

drugs, and all those things. So the CIA and the FBI and the establishment found them very threatening. And then it culminated with fucking our boy Charles Manson, killing all those people and trying to start a race war. And that created such a paranoia because people, that people realize this shit's real you got hippies on psychedelics that's where reefer madness and all the shit came along and it was like we got to put a stop to this what what's crazy to me with charles manson is he has like he was a legit singer like he he got in with the with the with the you know he was part he was all part of the music sound thing he lived with the with the beach boys they actually were going to sign him a deal when he got turned down by the record company that's when he went crazy

that's when he's like i'm gonna start killing people he was a good looking dude yeah Young, good-looking fucking kid. Small, but like... Five-four, crazy. Yeah, but sexy. And they had music. I wouldn't say he was sexy, but... Look him up.

Look at young... He looked like shit. No, good-looking guy. I disagree. Before the swastika. Look at this. Look at this. Watch it.

Tell me if he's not a handsome. Five-four. I would never say he was handsome. No. Keep gone. No, that... So that'd be him in the middle when he was doing all the crazy shit. Not a bad-looking guy.

Not good, Brian. No, not good at all. Girls liked him. I wouldn't give him a deal. Look, I'm there. There, come on. Look at his eyes. He's not bad looking. Not good. Not good at all. He was very charming. He made girls do a lot of drugs and he'd pretend he was Jesus. Very crazy man. And he was Jesus. And that's the one thing I want to say.

But the guy who was the leader of the hippie movement, they said him and Charles Manson, when they do the comparisons, it's crazy. He did the same thing. And they all promoted underage sex. And it's nuts, man. There's a lot of fun. Back then, a lot of fun. Well, that was, that was a Meyer Lansky. No, not Meyer Lansky. Who's the great director? who had sex with the 13 year old. Oh, Robin Plansky? 13 year olds. I think it was in Lauren Canyon, wasn't it? Correct. They were in a hot tub. They got her high, had sex with her, and

she was 13. He found out he was going to jail for a long time. Fled the country. There was a lot of fucking they went on. A lot of fuck. That hippie movement, they said the hippies would, so the doors or whoever would play at these random clubs off sunset, and that guy, forget his fucking name.

He's just like Charles Manson, but when kill people. Crazy as fuck. He'd bring the girls there and they'd love because those girls were dancing and were dressed like hippies. No one saw before. So a bunch of people would come to the shows to watch the girls, not the band.

So that guy was always constantly fucking nonstop. So he was just... There was a lot of fucking that went on. Big old bushes, too. Big old sevens bushes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Drugs and bushes, bro.

Drugs and bushes. Drugs and bushes. Drugs and bushes. Drugs and bushes. Yeah, man. That was a good band, by the way. Drugs and Bush. Yeah, D and D and B.

Let's start a band, you guys. Oh, my God, I would love that. My buddy, Dead Series, he was so crazy. Johnny, he would go, he was so amazing, and we're driving, and he's like 50 at the time, and I'm like, I don't know, 37. We're driving, and he goes, dead serious, he goes, we should start a band.

And I go, that's a really good idea, Johnny. Yeah. What would you play? He goes, I would sing, and I go, what would I do? He goes, I don't know, you move around. Move around. play the fucking tambourine. I want to start a band with both of you.

Dude, you know... It's just going to a guitar center. Just go in there, not knowing anything. You don't go. You just start a band. No, you don't have some equipment. You know, I like... I like, I like to go to a guitar center.

I used to do this in college. I go in there, I grab the guitar and just... I'm like, yeah, this thing's fucking sweet, man. I just pretend I know what I'm doing. I just grab different guitars. I wish I could do that. Man. I wish I could play the piano.

They come over and they talk to you. Yeah, that one's got a longer neck, man. Yeah, you like, yeah. got signed up for piano lessons at 14 and I fucking, I turned it down and that's my only regret. Yeah, man, it's a... It could have been a great. Run a little late, bro. Look at my fingers.

You lost track of time. You lost track of time, man. You know who can play like a concert pianist as Sean Hayes, you know, from Will & Grace? Fucking like, like concert pianist. I don't know him. Jack from Will and Grace. Is it the Redhead guy? Oh, no, I'm too young.

Look, Sean Hayes, the best. One of the best people in the world. Oh, he's a genius. He's the best. Yeah. I love him so much. What's he in, oh, he's, uh, he's producing. Did they, such a good actor.

Did they redo Will and Grace? Yep. And he's in it, right? Yeah. Yeah. But he's just a great person. And hilarious. He's fucking hilarious.

Oh, he's so good. One of the funniest people in the world. He killed that show, by the way. Can do anything. Can do anything. Is that show still going on? Yeah, they brought it back. It's a reboot, right?

Yeah. With the same actors? Megan Mullelli Younger younger Wasn't you gonna be in Will and Grace? I auditioned I went back five times for Will and then I went back four times for Jack

Dang, never happened Just missed I mean I fucking got so ready for that audition Between that and the piano I broke my back I wanted it so badly I've never, it's rare that you want something that bad I knew it was going to be the biggest fucking hit ever

I wanted it so badly Max and David the creators the greatest greatest guys And it was down to you and him I don't know, but I kept coming back Over over again, yeah But you think it's between you and him? An auditions are a motherfucker, bro.

Might have come down, but you know what? I hate to be shitty about it. They made the right choice. Oh, yeah, they did. Oh, they did. Hate to be shitty about it? I'm your friend. Yeah.

Made right choice. You were just saying how talented he is. Can you play the piano? No, no. Well, he can't. Yep. You know what? Made right shows.

You know what they didn't have in that show? Someone that could scribe. And don't you need that would have worked? That would have been good, right? Nah, man. Nah, man. What else we got? All right, Katz going to take control of the computer for a second because I got to pee real bad.

Let's take a break. You guys want to take a break, do you? No. No. Good. All right. Okay. So a 29-year-old Pennsylvania man was recently arrested because he was trying to warn everybody in his area that aliens are going to come and take over the world because humans are bad.

and he was warning people by making a makeshift bomb and leaving it at a hotel. He actually went inside the hotel, told the manager, hey, I made this cool bomb. And the manager said, please bring it outside, called the police, and he was arrested. Well, I like this guy.

He sounds like he's not dealing with a full deck. He is certain that the aliens are going to come for us. Okay. That's called being certifiable. I'm crazy. He needs help, right? I don't know, man. He looks pretty cool to me.

Hold on. Looks pretty cool to me. He looks pretty cool to me. Schizophrenia hits men in their 20s. You know that? Typically. Talking about aliens. Do you want to see the fucking Area 51 dude on Rogan?

I didn't. You haven't seen it? No. What's his name? His name's Laser. Bob Lazer, right? Bob Lazar. He just pulled your fist at me.

Because if anyone needs to see it, you need to see it. Why, dude? Fuck. Why? Aliens are real. Bro. I was just watching that last night. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I'm usually the anti-conspiracy guy, but you know what? I've looked into it and Eddie's kind of riding a lot of shit.

I'm not just trying to fist you. I'm threatening you. I'm threatening you. Brian. What did he say? I swear to God. What the fuck did he say? Aliens are real.

Yeah, they are. They're real. Dude, are you arguing aliens are real? I don't think there's any heavy dolls? You fuck. Okay, take it easy. How the fuck do you say

there's no evidence? This Bob Laser worked on UFOs. I call him laser. It's way cooler. He's the worst. Why not go by laser? Why not go by laser? You do with aliens.

You should be called Bob Laser. You're right. Laser. You butcher every name. But Lasers what I call. So laser, laser believes. No, no, no. Not believe, dude.

Laser was brought there. Was brought there. Worked on nine different UFOs. We have video. He worked on nine different UFOs. Nine of them at Area 51. Dude, if you discredit Laser, I'm going to fuck you up. Well, I just feel like he's...

Okay, I just feel like I just want to say one thing. Is it possible that he is a liar? Why would he... Why the fuck do you believe a guy that cleans his nails with a fucking knife and scryed several people? Because I was trying to warn those guys. That's real? But this guy actually worked with UFOs

on a very secure government-controlled area called Area 51. You guys, where's the evidence? Oh, you got to watch the time. You got to educate yourself before you... Dude, there are aliens are real. Aliens are real. I would bet my bottom dollar. Have they made contact with us?

They sure have. They sure have. I have them on Earth. Yeah. We have. We have their space. What? We have their space.

We have nine of them. Nine? What did you go? Hey, hey, Brian, why don't you grab your phone real quick, your iPhone.

I believe that's right. Hold on. I'm fired up right now. Take it easy, dude. You don't believe an alien. You sound like this guy who put a bomb in the fucking in the hotel. I sound like an educated human being. Okay.

Take it easy. You don't believe in aliens? Why do you have your hat off and why you pointing at me? Just relax. Supreme. about aliens, but I don't know that we have nine spaceships. All right. I would love to have Mr. Layser in here. When you said he worked on him, what did he do on him and he souped them up?

I'm asking, I'm asking questions. You're driving me crazy, bro. I don't know. Can I tell you a story real quick? Yes, just real quick. So Chris Delia is on the road with me, right? He's opening for me. And we get to this one town. Every city that we go to, we're the funniest guys there. Yeah.

Anywhere. We go to a coffee bean. We go to a Panera. We're the funniest fucking people to walk in. You know what I'm saying? We get to this town. Funny posse. It's called, I think it's called Dayton, Ohio. I'm pretty sure you've been there.

We go to Dayton and all of us and so we're not the funny people. Everywhere we go, the Panera, we go to fucking some restaurant. Everyone's odd. Everything is a little odd. So Chris and I go to the room and we start laughing and we're like, dude, you know what this town is? The government built this town because this is where they breed aliens. and then they breed them here and then they ship them out into the regular world

after they work here like they work with them here to deal with like people that are transient coming through and dealing with regular humans right? We were laughing. We're dying so hard at this theory, right? So the guy that comes and picks us up for the show, he's driving us to the show and then Chris is sitting in the front seat, I'm sitting in the

back and I go, hey my man are there any aliens or spaceships that fly around here? And we just, we giggle to ourselves. Chris and I are laughing to ourselves, right? And the guy goes, yeah, Roswell crashes here, the spaceship from Roswell. Roswell, right?

Roswell, what's it called? Roswell. Roswell, the Roswell spaceship is here. And it's in hangar. Take this out. He goes, Chin, you're on the alien train as well? I've always kind of believed it. Yeah, yeah.

Bro, listen, listen. I kind of believed it. Listen, this is the best part of the story. He goes, the Roswell crashes here. It's in hangar like 52. You can look it up. Hangar 18, right? Hangar 18? Hanger 18.

Hanger 18. I swear to God. Chris and I, we were laughing all day. All day we were laughing. When this guy said this, Chris and I, we look fucking ghost face. We look at each other like, what? Go to photos. Brian, you don't think.

Listen, Brett, look at this shit. This is a real hanger in Dayton, Ohio. That looks like a hanger. Now, listen, listen. No, we were joking around about this whole alien shit. And when that guy said that to us, it freaked us to fuck out. because that's literally how that town felt. It felt like they were like breeding some type of subhuman.

I'm just saying, man. So inside there might be a UFO. All right. Well, that's my story. Ask Chris. Is that an alien right there? Hold on. That only is real alien.

That's a real alien. B, I'm telling you you got to listen to this Bob Laser. Really? Lazar. I'm just saying. So Lazare has what you have a man. Now he has a, the documentarian, that's so fake. The documentarian that's with him is a bit of a tool where you're like, I don't believe this.

Yeah. But this Bob Laser guy, it's real shit, man. Yeah. Yeah. Why, why are you so? I just said, all I said was, hmm, you don't believe in any of it. You don't think there's a higher life form? I just said, hmm.

Yeah. You drive me crazy, man. Guys, I'm not saying, you believe in. I'm not saying extraterrestrial life doesn't exist. Of course it has to. You'd have to believe it does because the universe is. so huge. But and they

what Lazar? Yeah, they have. So what Lezar was saying, Laszor, Laszor was saying is that, you don't even know his name, but keep calling. Well, no, I call him laser because it's way cooler. So what he was saying is the technology that, so his whole project was to figure out how these things work. Like the energy

source is so much more powerful than ours that he was a scientist? Yes. Yeah. Rocket scientist. Why the government... He was building jets at the age of 13 out of his house. What'd you say? Why the government, why did the government...

Now, he doesn't know. He goes, I have no idea why they went to tell. He goes, I thought it was because we want to advance in our technology. We should let everybody know, but the government doesn't think that way.

So the U.S. government? Yes. Well, it's all government. So some people think that the government doesn't want to release it because it released mass hysteria because their technology is so much more advanced than ours,

they could just fucking blow up the world at any point. Yeah. And also, all religion would be fake then, right? Yeah, 100. Yeah. It's all bullshit.

But, I mean, I appreciate that. I don't know what those answers are. Where's your stance on it, though, B? What do you, my stance is that I just can't, I can't. So you have, to think about this for a second, let's just say the government, which is always changing, right? People in power die and new people come in. So, I mean, you know, I guess the military also generals retire and you have new people come in.

The structure. And there'd have to be some kind of, there'd have to be some kind of law. or some kind of agreement. Written rule. Among whoever it might be to say, this stays secret. You know how hard it is to keep secrets. All of us are like,

and people in government would have to be like, what the fuck, right? You don't think there's secret within the government? It's a national security secrets. What I'm saying is that there are national security secrets, right? So we're doing intelligence work.

We have no idea about it. Let's just take it. We have a UFO. Let's say we have a UFO. Yeah. And it's somewhere in one of these hangers. In Nevada. Explain to me the, how in the world would anyone, especially, say, how long has it been there, did he say?

They don't know. It's from the 1920. Oh, okay, good. Even. So we've kept this a secret for, you know, 100 years. Explain to me how that would be so and how people who came into power wouldn't say, dude, this is fascinating. Investigative journalists, scientists who are so curious, CIA people, military people, wouldn't somebody go, dude, there's a fucking UFO here.

It'd be the greatest, most incredible thing. It'd be all of us, all of us would be lining up to go see this thing, right? They don't want that. Who's they? They don't want that. Who's they? The government wouldn't want that. When you say the government, who in the government?

The government is multi-layer. National defense? But you're pretending that the government, everything's out for a forest of consumer. I'm saying 100 years, you're not going to keep a secret for 100 years. Well, you don't think the government controls that type of information just so they control society. Like, imagine if they said that there is a higher life form and that there's a B. Nobody can keep a secret for 100 years. It's not possible.

Think about it. There's a ton of secrets out there. You don't think there's secrets out there? For 100 years? Yes. Come on. When the government? There's a UFO in a hangar somewhere.

And somehow we, you get into a room when you're in the CIA or the military and they go, hey, come here. This has been passed on. from generation to generation. There is a UFO, but we must keep it a secret from the people. Not all. Yeah. Not that. What?

No, but only certain branches work on it. So the whole, not everyone's privy to it. What branches? Let's just say it's the, let me give you in a branch. Well, you know Area 51's a real complex, correct? Sure. Okay. But I'm saying.

And that's a secret. Yeah, but that might be secret technologies. The government has secret technologies, right? Weapons technology. You're contradicting yourself. That's the technology that they're keeping secret. But I'm saying that that is because we keep it secret from Chinese, espionage, Russian espionage, things like that.

Us as well. Right? Yeah. Robotics and all that stuff. And by the way, there's a lot of industrial espionage. So a lot of that, a lot of that technology comes out of industry, Boeing, Lockheed, even Apple. And those people have their own kinds of things, right? And so now they have certain areas that are highly secretive. So when Apple comes out with a new technology, the fucking secrecy is crazy around that, right? So everybody has an interest in keeping that so that the proprietary carry stuff that you can make money off of doesn't get stolen. I'm talking about the UFO that's been there forever that came from somewhere else.

Well, maybe forever. That's just me. I don't know. So you're saying you don't believe it. What's the justification? Because the government has it come out and told you with that? Yeah. Oh, that's silly. What's the justification though?

30 years, 40 years of a UFO. Why? Why wouldn't I be able to see it? Wouldn't everybody be curious? No. How would you keep all those people? How many people know about it? It's not all these people.

Okay, hold on. What do you mean people? So let's say 15 people worked on it. Let's say 15 people. people, right? Because that laser was there. Then they die or they retire and then what? Or some die from radiation from work. Whatever. Okay. Four of them have died from radiation.

Okay. So whatever that means. Because it's so powerful. Right. But but so we know that. But please tell me where in the, where in the, where in legislature. Tell me where it says you're not allowed to talk about this. Well, somebody in Congress or wouldn't somebody in Congress go, uh, no, no, hold up. Navy Seals can't talk about their missions. I know, but this is a UFO. Why is this? Yeah, but if you're part of that branch, that's, that's, That's what you sign up for. What is the justification for keeping the secretive?

We just told you though. I can tell you what the certificate is. You don't think they have contracts where they can't just go, hey, you can't work on it and then go on a nine news tomorrow and announce it. But wait, why would they do that with a UFO? I don't understand. It's because the time. No, we don't know how long be.

So you're saying the technology is so secretive. Let's say it's been there for 15 years. Here's the reason why they don't want the world known we have the technology. Whoever graphs that technology and breaks it down can run the world. If you can somehow manifest how powerful this is, then you control everything. But what about all the religions out there when they find out that there's a larger being that's bigger than their God? Jesus is fake, God's fake. So the government's, so the U.S. government goes, we can't release this.

The U.S. government, whoever that is, because you guys haven't told me yet. Let's just say it's a group of people. It's not how the government works. You don't think there's governments within the government, Ryan? You really don't think there's secret societies within the government? I can't believe you think there's branches that run all all. What I'm saying is that. You really think that it's just one dude and he's the president and that's what's going on?

No, no, no. You don't think there's other branches that control? You're not hearing me. You're not hearing me. We are hearing me. You don't think there's CIA, the Defense Department there, I think there are 19 different intelligence agencies or something. So you don't believe, hold on, can I just say one thing in your argument that we go, you

don't think there's nothing to the word secret in secret service? You're talking about something so different. You're talking about something so different right now. No, what I'm saying is that there are branches within the government that have to continue. Joe, you're not telling me anything I don't know. You don't tell me anything I don't know. I know, but how did you say to you guys? What I'm saying to you guys is you're telling me.

You're telling me there is an extraterrestrial technology. Okay? Yeah. That the U.S. government's had for, I guess it's how many years now? No, we don't know. We've been hearing about Roswell since the 50s. That's what we've been hearing. Okay.

So let's just say the 50s. Let's say it's 68 years. Please, guys, if you could tell me, how in the fuck you think the U.S. government, whether it's the CIA or the deep state or whoever. whatever you want to call. Okay. How the fuck are you going to keep that a secret? Where would it get out be?

Because it's not enough. Because it all comes out at the end of the day. No, we know everything. That's not true. 50, 60 years ago, historians, we don't know shit. We don't know anything. Brendan, the Freedom of Information Act, you can, you have access to anything. You have access to the fact that it's not true.

We don't have access to Iran. We try to stay still a coup in Iran. It's called the freedom of information. We don't have access to everything. We don't have access to everything. We don't have access to everything. You don't have access to state secrets, guys. I understand that.

They can't announce everything. That there are secrets that the U.S. and all governments have in their intelligence services. 100%. That will never get out. And one of the big problems is civilian oversight, which we're supposed to have. And sometimes the CIA takes license and we don't know about it. And then it gets blown up Iran-Contra.

Lots of things. What about the JFK files? Where they can't release it because we can't release summit to the public because we don't want the backlash from the public. What about some of that stuff? See, what's so funny to me is, guys always say this, they always go, well, they can't release it because there'd be mass hysteria and there'd be a huge backlash. Who's they? You mean they? So somehow you guys think that if

you're in the CIA or you're in defense intelligence or your or your, whatever you are, you're assuming they're liable to talk about it. You guys are assuming that that, that, that, like, they're an open book? They're an open book? Nobody there is curious. And so, and nobody's there as curious and that it's really easy to keep secrets for 50, 60 years. So you're wrong about that. I think you're wrong if you think no secrets are being held for the last 100 years. They're not. You think they're an open.

Of course they are. It's all out there. Yes. All info is out there. Yes. Yes. Of 70 years ago. You are foolish.

The CIA is keeping secrets for 70 years. Huh. You don't think they have any secrets? You think all that's out in public? You can pretty much get. I'm not even conspiracy. You can get that's insane. Give me one secret.

Go ahead. I don't know what to see. No. No. It's a secret. What a terrible thing. Historians would laugh in your face. They would laugh in your face.

You're crazy. Historians would laugh in your face. Those people die and it becomes a matter of record. We know everything that went on in World War II. The government kit. We know everything that went on in World War II, right? We know everything that went on in Vietnam. And we know pretty much everything that went off in Vietnam.

And we know. Hold on. Hold on. Right. You don't think so we know everything. There are some secrets we do not know. They can tell you everything. We know about the Phoenix.

What the government lets you know. We know about the assassination programs. What the government lets you know. They didn't put out everything. You think they put out everything? After a while in any in any government, when people die and they retire and stuff, this information comes out. No, of the person passed and not all the jobs they worked on the secrets that they've had.

So the, so you're saying, the government releases all info. So it is your position. I want to hear this. I want to hear you say this out loud. It is your position, gentlemen. That the government has secrets. That the government has kept. and I'm going to give you a number

because this goes back to the 50s. Go to Uncle 100. That there is a UFO out there or just some extraterrestrial technology somehow landed in American hands because it landed in Nevada, let's just say, oh, I'll give that to you. Now, are you saying, whatever they're saying.

Are you gentlemen saying to me that somehow, the CIA keeps secrets? Yeah. So the CIA, quote unquote, has secrets. The CIA, the CIA, that fucking, that organization, that's not a bureaucracy at all,

really knows how to keep secrets. So you're saying everything in government is an open book and anything that's in. That's not what I'm saying. That's insane. What are you saying? So guys, I'm saying, are you saying that we have kept this UFO technology and the existence of a secret from the American people and the world for 68 years? Yeah. And it's in a, and it's in a huge building somewhere?

In area 51. Really? And it's because over 60 years, we've been trying to get. Brian, right. Right. Ryan, try going to the era 51. Brian, Brian, why did it take every president that said... Does the president?

Does Trump know about it? Listen, listen. Will you listen? Can you shut the fuck up? Every president before Clinton always said there is no such thing as area 51 and then it's not government owned. Every president. Bill Clinton was the first one to ever go, yeah, there is. And I do recognize it.

There are secret sites. There are secret sites we have. Oh, my God, bro. It's a secret. It's a secret. But why don't they're not? I just said, I just said, guys, guys, I didn't say there. No, I didn't say that. Yeah, you did. You said over time, all that. Hey, I'm saying the CIA.

It's all documented. And this is open to the public. I'm not saying the government doesn't have secrets. We have intelligence. You said it'll all get out. What I'm saying is that you're not keeping a secret. Who's not? Who's not? Right. You are, they have no secrets. Everything's aired out. Everything's aired out of 100 years. Oh, that's silly. Even in Vietnam. That's crazy. Even Vietnam, we know you have access to anything you right. You are fucking insane. I love how you are. I love how you are. You guys love this. So who's keeping it? Why? You have to justify. The fucking government. You think the government's just wide open. Who? So you think everybody that's in the Secret Service just open buck,

hey, this is what I did today? This what I did today. You keep making this jump. I'm talking about you have to stick to UFOs. No, no, no. You can't spread across the board. No, bro. The government can't release just all info all the time. Who said that? Who said that? You did. I did. You said there's no, no, no, no. I didn't say that. You don't listen. You don't listen properly.

You guys don't listen properly. You're like this, bro. You don't like. Listen, Brendan, you don't listen. We're listening. You are not a listener. Quiet. Everyone's quiet.

Quiet. Both of you. I know more about history than both of us. Oh, God. I just do. I'm more educated than you are. I'm more educated about the government, about politics. Because you're college educated on history.

By far than both of you. You're not even, your infants right now. Be quiet. Wow. Be quiet. Why you get so hostile? Because you're ignorant. Listen to me.

How we're on the loop. What I'm saying, what I'm saying is that it's very far-fetched to imagine, guys, that the government is, able, just able to keep a secret for 68 years about a UFO that exists. That's very far-fetched to believe. That's all I'm saying, guys. And why am I saying that? Because at the end of the day, with the U.S. government, the way our government works, and let me give you my logic for a second, please. The way the U.S. government works is eventually with the Freedom of Information Act, eventually when the secrets are considered, when national security secrets are no longer

considered important to keep, it is made available. Historians and lots of people are interested in this stuff. Okay? Now hold on. Hold on. Before I say that, you would if you did have technology, that was a UFO guys, that was 68 years old. And let's say it's extraterrestrial, are you following me? It's really important technology. There would be have to be some kind of governing body that legislated that, that made it a law, right? There would have to be. And I still haven't found that. So when you guys talk about this. Well, no, when you guys, but don't jump to that. You know all about government because you're studying college. No, no, I'm not saying.

I know way smarter guys than you that study in history. You're jumping. You're jumping in. No, no, I'm doing this all up there. You're going, you're going, Brian, you know all about government. That's not what I'm saying. No, that's what you just told us. No, no, I didn't.

I said, he said we're infants. You are. Let me explain a little bit about how government works. Oh, God. You do need policy that would make this. One history degree, that would make this a smartest guy in the world. No, I've been reading about this very smart people who also look into Ryan. And very smart people, most very smart people kind of go, okay, why do you

all of us go, UFO. So is Rogan's not smart? Are you smart in Rogan? I don't know. What are you talking about? Why are you bringing Rogan into this? He just said a lot of smart people. He had a guy on his podcast. You had a guy on his podcast. It's very fun and intriguing to believe that a UFO exists. It is. It's fucking fun. I give it to you. It's so fun. Why, though, guys, is it always hearsay. Why do I have a guy who worked there? And he's telling us that he worked on it. And all we're left with, correct me if I'm wrong, is kind of to have to believe him. Can I get some evidence, please? So you don't believe anything unless you have evidence. Nothing is real.

I need some evidence, Brendan. Is that fair? Am I being a dick about that? I just need some evidence. What about the videos they have? You're going to say they're fake? Show them to me. You can bring them up to you.

Show them. Like, and again, every video I see, but every video I see it. But every video is grainy. Why is it grainy? So it's not clear enough, though. Yeah. So it's not legit evidence. Yeah.

Do you believe the videos? Do you believe that? I don't know. I can't say they're not real. Okay, there you go. Come on, guys. Like, I need more than that. And you do too.

No, no. You're being very, how do I say it? But do you see what I'm saying, dude? I just need some evidence, Joe. I need evidence, Jacoy. There's a lot of evidence out there, especially with Area 51. Is there though, right? Yes. But there's a lot of, there's a lot of, admit that, look, all I'm saying is that, am I bad, am I wrong for being cynical? Am I wrong for being, am I ignorant for being cynical? When, when, and what I mean by how the government works, guys, I'm sorry that I sound like a dick when I say that I know more. I'm just talking about the way the government works. There are, it's legislature.

You have to pass certain things, right? Here's what I'm telling you. You might know more about the government. Congrats. I don't care about that. No, that's great. You spent time studying that. That's fantastic.

Anyone can learn that stuff. Yeah. What I'm saying to you is it's not crazy to think that the government keeps secrets. Of course not. I didn't say that. Of course the government has secrets. Whether it's aliens, whether it's war, whether it's maybe seal mission. Sure.

It's not crazy some far-fetched world that they hide. evidence from the public. Okay, I agree with that. I don't think UFO, I don't think a UFO though would be like say, so everywhere, all of us, pilots and everybody go like this. What the fuck is that, right? So think about, you'd have to be like, we found a UFO. Who are you going to tell? Who found it? Who are you going to tell? And why keep that a secret? Why? Why wouldn't you though? Like I know why we say that mass hysteria isn't a very big factor in that? To keeping that a secret. I don't think that would be mass hysteria, do you? You don't think telling that, that's the number one. You don't think

telling the whole world that there is a larger life that religion's not real that that yeah that everyone has believed in this god which you probably believe in which has no facts by the way i don't i don't know but you're just saying that you want facts but yet all these religions are based off of hearsay as well just a mythology and a and but there's no facts there's no facts there's no facts there's no documentation about jesus christ that's exactly right so okay so i'm i tend to be a little bit of an agnostic Like I'm like, well, I don't know. All I'm saying is, there's no evidence. Imagine when they say that they do have a higher life form.

Who said, who said, though, right? If the cover releases that information, just imagine what happens with every single religion, that every, every group that's out there that just believes in a specific religion, it would be math. Perfect. So hold that. We have more legit evidence on aliens than we do not. Let me dial it on what he's saying, because this is what I meant when I say, this is not how government works. Let me just, let me just say this.

Okay. Great. So now what you're assuming is that there is a policy in the U.S. government that would, that's there, there's a group of people, a governing body. Yeah. There would have to be that has say so on whether or not the, the information gets released, the public, the public should know about something. 100% based on whether or not it creates mass hysteria or not, right? 100%. So, so, so that, that, can you tell me what that, who is that body? Just tell me who it is. Do you know? Because I don't. I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I.

I don't know either. When I say I study the government, like, I don't know of one agency. Hold on, B, B, B, because, hold on, but B, I know you studied, again, history. You'd keep telling us. Because you don't know, it's not real. Because you don't know that branch. Nobody else does either. Can you tell me who it would be?

I'm sure there's someone there. They don't have that ability. Right. For you to sit here and act like that the government lied about area 51, that's a branch of government that was controlling that area. No, no. If you penetrate that area, hold on. If you drive to area 51, it says, you will be shot and kill.

If you even go past the fence, that's a government body right there. Did you know about it? Yeah, same thing with the CNN. You didn't know about that before, though. You did know about it. But yet the president of the United States was saying there was no such thing as Area 51.

Look, can I just say there are secret areas? Joe, it doesn't mean that they're UFO areas, right? That's not what you were saying. What you were saying, who are these governments, these secret governments? There's one right there. That's one example, Brian. They get a technology.

And in the room, a bunch of guys go, in the room, a bunch of guys go, And by the way, they're military guys, I would imagine, right? No white, right, right, well, watch they go, we can't tell the American public or the world is because there'll be mass hysteria. Okay. That happens all the time. That happens all the time.

No, with terrorists. That happens all the time with terrorist attacks. It does, but we also know about what we don't. Remember we used to have the, we used to have the threat levels about, remember that? Those are gone, right? Those are gone. Well, because they were just ineffective. But also, I know guys who were, to quote you, I know guys who are in that business

who go, oh my God, if we announce on CNN. Yes, exactly. The threat levels? 100%. There would be mass hysteria. We cannot do it. Also, we don't want to tip off that. There are a lot of reasons for that, right?

There are a lot of reasons. And I agree 100%. But this head guy goes, it would be mass hysteria. Of course. The U.S. government doesn't want to scare the shit out everybody because there are real threats out there, right?

100%. What I'm trying to say is this, if they found a UFO and it's there. And let's be honest. We're talking about it going back to the 50s. I don't personally see how in the world we could keep that secret. Hey, B, how you go, I need evidence.

I need evidence. that you don't think they can keep a secret. I don't see why you think... For 68 years? No way. No way. It's impossible. So you think everything's out in the government from the past 68 years. I mean, after 68 years, I mean, UFO, you're not going to keep... But be everything? I would imagine most things. No secrets.

I think so. Oh, come on. Yeah. You're just playing devil's advocate. No, I'm not... All secrets. Let's just stick to a UFO. No, let's just stick to UFOs. No, let's stick to UFOs. But no, you're saying all secrets, are you a hanker? How are you going to keep that a secret for 68 years? Honestly, do you really, do you really, do you really, think we keep it as secret. Yes.

Why? There's a shit load of stuff. There's a shit load of stuff. Mass hysteria. So they go, can't do it. And every go, you know that's all civilian oversight. So somebody in the civilian government,

Trump would have to know, wouldn't he? Every president we've ever had would have to know. And their chief of staff, I would imagine. Bill Clinton, right? That was his point.

Wouldn't, wouldn't the White House overall? Correct. Secretary of State, Defense, Secretary of Defense, the Undersecretary Defense, all the people that have a response. those people are, first of all,

they're civilians, they're appointed, they come in kind of with their own agenda. We know that the White House can never keep secrets, right? They're always fucking backstabbing each other. They're always backstabbing each other. So these people know, and every administration, every administration has known this, right?

Even though it's top secret, do you really think that somehow every president says, we can't release this because it's top secret? Like, I know it's fun to believe. I just need, can I get a little evidence? You think all presidents don't relate, you think they don't die with secrets. You think everything's an open book?

It's not what I said. Of course they're saying just UFOs. No, yeah, no, I'm saying secrets are, we have an intelligence community, right? And there's top secret clearance, right? And so if you say anything, it's treason, you go to jail. Correct.

You can even be sentenced to death. Correct. Right. So I'm not saying that the U.S. government doesn't have secrets based on a credible threat. China, Russia, whatever it is, right? 100% we have an intelligence apparatus a very big one with a blank check basically I am still trying to figure out why in the world UFOs would be kept secret from us and I don't believe that answer Joe you can't

I don't see why you don't believe that we don't understand why you don't understand we need to move on we're just can keep going circles and you guys so you guys percentage wise no we remember we're idiots yeah percentage wise percentage wise percentage wise percentage wise you're telling me what do you think do you think that I can't put a hanger in a hangar. What do you think? I don't know, but I know for sure the government, I would bet my life on it, withheld secrets from us. Oh, still are.

You do not know about UFOs. About every, no, no, no, no. About everything. No, you can't just say one thing. That's a UFO. That's all I was talking about. But that's all I would see. What got me mad was that you guys are jumping over here and going,

you're saying no secrets. No, guys. I'm not saying that. I'm talking about specifically this guy talking about how he worked on a UFO. I don't believe him. That's fine. He's a liar. Okay.

But you don't believe your friend with the fucking nails and the knife. Well, yeah, that's not too hard to believe because I know that guy. And I'll show you after we're done that that's a little easier to believe, isn't it? That a guy had a pocket knife and pins his nails. My thing. What's crazy to me and why you get so hostile about, I have no idea. But why? You are hostile.

Yeah, it's crazy. Because you guys are telling me that I'm crazy. You guys are telling me. You guys are telling me I believe this thing. Because you were going on a loop. It was so frustrating. I'm like, I'm not making those jumps. No, you're not trying to.

You're not following. tiny people. You follow these huge and you called these tiny people. And then you call us told this, infants. Infants. And then you went like this. I know. There's nothing. And then you brought out that there's nothing this thing. There's nothing this degree. I did. Yeah. And you have a college degree. You got. And you got educated. You got defenses. You said, you know everything about history and we're small. Everything about history. I just, I know a I'm not impressive. I know a little bit about how the governor works. You said only big people know history and only small people believe in your phone. That's exactly what you

You guys are applying. You guys are saying you say, you say, you say, you say, you say, If I had a knife right now, I'd scribe you. Why? I fucking scribe. And you're a smart guy, and I'm not saying this to dismiss you or anything. I would say there's smarter people who defend the alien stuff that know the government better than you. I guess. No, no, I'm telling you, there are.

When you go of like degrees and stuff like that, you're smart, dude. They're smarter guys. I don't care about being smart. Well, no, but that was your card that you pulled out on us. So what I'm saying to you, it is your car. That was your card. You were telling me how the government. We're small.

You are, you are, you're in this area. I said, you're in this area. And you're so smart. I said in this area. Yeah. You're so good. History. I said, I said, I said, you're, you're always running late.

Yep. You forgot your socks. You showed up 20 minutes late today. That's not fair. That's not fucking fair. Yeah. Did you forget your socks? Yeah.

Yeah. We're not smart. We're infants. We're infant, but you forgot. That's not fair, dude. And you're late to work. You're being personal. Right because of the traffic.

Because you live here and you know. I have squirts. You know what time this start. Yeah. And you forgot yourself. Now you guys are fucking attacking me for being late. No. I have socks.

Do you have stock? I have, I have a lot of, I have a lot of, I was just trying to say. That I know a little bit of all the time. You guys are infants. I went to college and studied history, mind you.

Because you were telling me that I was saying all these things that I wasn't saying. You were, you were, you're describing. You were so smart. You were scry. You are smart.

Brian, you win, dude. You can't talk to it. You're smart. Little people don't understand. See what happens? We can't even keep up. You're so smart, you guys got themselves.

You're so smart, man. You're so smart, man. I am. We should just stop it. We're too. We shouldn't even be in your present. There's just, I just, I just, I should be more, I need more evidence about UFOs. That's the only thing.

I do. I hope you get it. I don't believe the government can or would keep it a secret. Yep, you're right, dude. They can or would. Joe, I wouldn't. And I don't believe that area 51, I don't think you can keep a secret for 608 years about a UFO in a hangar in area 51 or anywhere else. I don't think it's possible.

All right. What have you say, bro. Well, we're infant. And you guys think it's possible. Well, the government doesn't... You need to rethink your life. The government doesn't work where it's like a bunch of people are going. We can't tell anybody it'll get rid of religion.

Go read a book, Joe. I'm going to read a book. On history. On history. The government. I knew once I did that. Go read the book. I would lose you guys.

Because he majored in history in college. Do you know that? Oh my God. And you're a fucking infant. I'm a fucking infant. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to do that. In this area.

I shouldn't have done this, guys. This is what pisses. This is what pissed me off. This is the part that pissed me off. You're this small. You looked at both places like this. It's hilarious. You're this small.

True colors fly out, man. No, you were, no, you were being insulting and you were, how was that insulting? You were going, you don't believe to any secrets. And you're like, I was like, that's not what I said.

That's what you originally started with that be. And then you went to you at those. Yeah. No, we can rely. You came out swinging, bro. You don't listen. You don't listen. Well, you do, you get defensive and you go,

and you jump in. I'm not defensive. Oh, so it's more likely to believe. Okay. You know why? I'm going to jump in. I'm going to jump in. You know why he gets defensive?

Because when you talk and you throw you a little point. He's demeaning. You're demeaning. And you do this with your spouse. There's a, there's a hand. Hey, Joe. So, yeah, and the government, it's going to. Oh, and you think, you think, like he worked in the government.

I'm sorry. Like, he worked in. I'm sorry. I have a brain. You don't have a brain. Come on. So, you know, I understand why you believe in like, like, aliens. I have a little confidence.

But I'm a human being. with a brain. It's very strange. And educated brains, so I understand. So I should have had a better approach. Yeah. I was a little insulting.

Yeah, no one likes to get talked like that. I was a little insulting when I did it. Joe got heated. Well, he's a dick. He was being a dick. You were being super dick. I apologize.

You're right. I'm not a super dick move. I can't wait for the fans. I just think it's a fun argument. I can't wait. You know, you know, it's fun to believe in, right? Here's my, I'm like this.

There you go again. There you go again. There you go again. There you go again. He's not. It's fun to believe it. It's fun to believe, right? It's fun to believe.

But you're not, hey, hey, hey, hey, everyone like fairy tales, right? Right? You like cartoons, right? I like duck tails. You're not a conspiracy. But we watch Spider-Man, too, don't we? Hey, man. Kala-l-l-l-la-law.

Come on, guys, I don't do that. Come on. Come on. Hey, my thing is, is I'm not even die hard for aliens. I'm in the middle. Yeah. What I'm saying is, and I know this for a fact, I don't know. You don't know.

Right. Neither one of us know. Joe doesn't know. No one knows there. So when you're so diehardt said on it, it's just weird. I just, I just, I just, I don't have a dog. If they're really fantastic. If there's not all right, you know what it is? When a guy gets on Rogan and he worked there

and he talks about it, I kind of go. You didn't listen to it though. I didn't listen to that. So that's the first problem. Yeah. That's your problem. You don't have evidence to back that. But is there any, is there any government agency? Is there anybody? You got, you got a list to it and then report back. Okay. Or call Rogan. Call Rogan. And go, dude, what do you tell, what do you tell?

What do you think? Was he full of shit? Yeah. Because I texted wrong and go, dude, is that guy full of shit? What did he say? No. Yeah. Say it.

You want to say it? You want to say Rogan small? Call Rogan small? Say Rogan's an infant. You want to call Rogan an infant? No, just do it. Do it. Look at that camera.

Look at that camera. Do it. Let me know your career goes. Do it. You guys are threatening. You were so quick to do it to us. Yeah. I hit me.

Go right now. No, we're infants. Hey, Rogan. Joe. Brian wants to call you stuff. Guys, I'm sorry. I think you're full of shit. I was not the same thing.

I apologize. You didn't go to college, bro. I didn't mean. Joe didn't go to college. I didn't mean. I didn't mean that. No, no,

no, shut. Infant. Come on, show. Hey, hey. Hey,

get off me. He's your leather shoes with no stop. Get off me. Because he's a historian. Not his story. Joe Rogan. Uh,

go ahead. Tell him. Come on. I'm sorry. No, say it. No, say it. Say it. Say it.

Say it. Say it. He believes in the same. He believes in the same story that we believe in. Say it. Look, say it to his fucking face, man. I can't wait for the next fucking baby, bro. Don't scribe you, bro.

Don't scribe. Oh, don't scribe. Oh, don't scry. You want to get scribed? No, please, I'm sorry. I just don't believe in UFOs, okay? Until I see. Call him small.

Call him small. You know, everyone's an infant. Everyone's an infant. I shouldn't have called you his face. That's your camera right there. I just meant in when it comes to. Exactly. And that's when the historian becomes a pussy.

Let's get out. out of here, man. Wait, let's go. Do we have any more? No, we don't. We're in it. I have to go now. I have to go.

So does Joe. I gotta go. Fuck you. I ruined everything. Yeah, you did. I'm gonna be at Brea this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. That's tomorrow.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I'm Mbrea Improv. Get your tickets now. After I'm in Sincy, then Indy, get your tickets. T-Facka.com. Hey, uh, the brilliant one. Where are you going to be?

All right. First one thing I was, Hey, Infants. Come see Brian's show. He's a really Kidless. fun guy. Hey, he's doing a TED talk.

Kidlets. About how small everyone is. No, no. The kidlets need to know this. I'll be in Spokane, July 11, 12, and 13. Joe Coy is going to open for me. And then San Francisco Cobbs, July 9th and 20. Look, I know there are a lot of diehard UFO guys.

No, no. We're down. We're not. We're not. No, my Netflix special. Oh, yeah. It's the best special on Netflix right now. Netflix special, you guys.

Coming in hot. Check it out right now. Come on. Joecoi.com. I'll tweet about it. No, please. me anything. Hey, remember, you're all infants. Brian's a dick. Brien's a dick. You're a dick. This is by a kid.

We're out. I hope you guys. Bye.