The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 500 Bobby Lee

Episode Date: November 2, 2025

Bobby Lee is back in-studio with the guys to celebrate the 500th episode of TFATK and attacks both of them. Bobby roasts Bryan in the new Joker film, confronts Brendan about giving his girl hungry eyes and the guys talk Bobby's Kim Jong Un story, comedy bullies, getting cut from movies, TV show cancellations, Bobby's father passing, micro cheating and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. For sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black Belt and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club. Hmm. Kids got a piece on them. Peace on.

To be a couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the on. Onet Studios in Pliya, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live. That doesn't matter.

Sounds better when you say, live. We're not live. We don't do it live, right? And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. Shut up. This is not live. It's not live.

Do you speak her in, Bob? I don't know. This is a bitchonom, you know? This is a man. Don't, don't know. Well, look. Oh, look. Oh, look.

Oh, look. Oh, look. So you don't go to his face. Just, just Jessica Tandy got ten. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, yeah, Jekome.

Yeah, J'a, Jokoma, Jessica Tandy. Roll. Yeah, it's rolling. We're good. Look great. Get your, get the microphone. Get your, get your, get the, can't the can't. The.

Mike in front of your face and what are we it's there the sexiest man alive right what were you saying I need ears I need ears you don't need ears dude we don't have cans here just just listen to what we're saying I need cans give me the ears no you're not getting ears now what were you saying and what were you saying in Korean tell me right now I was saying that I go I just looked at um Ching Chong over here and I said Hey that's so offensive your ching chung I can say anything like that toward him because we have the connection. Okay.

Like I can call Brian Cracker. Yeah. You can do that. It doesn't feel bad. You know what? Do you know where Cracker comes from, though? Do you know what's from slaves cracking the whip? I edited you to do on that.

Black people call the white man crackers because they would hit him at crack. I always thought it had to do with the actual food. The whip would crack. The food. A Cracker. It's not even offensive. We need better words for our own whiteness. Yeah.

Because it's so pure. that's why, huh? Is that what it is? I don't know, dude. Yeah. But, um, we just can face gook over here, though. Oh, Jesus Christ. Are you on disembursed out of life or what's going on here? No, no, no, no, no.

Bobby, that's so. Oh, but it's flat-faced Magoo. Jesus Christ, Bobby. No, not on the show. Right here, right? Please. This guy in every Vietnam movie is the first one to die. This guy right here is the one in platoon where he was,

remember, he was hopping like this in the hut, right? Yeah. And Kevin Goo was like, eh. Oh, yeah. And that's him. That's it. Asshole, loser. No, no, don't say that.

That's when let me start up with my opening monologue that I wrote on the drive over here, if you don't mind. This is why you're the 500th guest. We want to be a guest. If you don't mind, may I open up with a monologue? This is the 500th episode of those two. Here we go.

So, you know, I'm a kind of sooner. Can I see this, Ching Chung? I just wrote this, right? I would love some, like, support, some ethnic support. We're outnumbered, Brian. We're outnumbered. She's Asian as well. Yes.

There's three Qing versus two whites. When Asian is moving into your neighborhood, the neighborhood gets better. It gets cleaner. It gets cleaner and better and more organized. Aurora begs a difference. So can I finish my monologue or what? Go ahead. Please don't laugh.

Okay. So I enjoy great works of art. You know, Sistine Chapel. Of course. Beautiful. I've been to the Great Wall. I know the Great Wall isn't a piece of artwork, but it is a man-made achievement.

Yeah, built to keep the Mongols out. Yes, all right. I love going to museums, and I love seeing beautiful, even albums like, an album like, Session Pepper's. Sure.

Beatles, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, over the years, I haven't really seen great art until this weekend. And I bought tickets to see a movie called, Joker and I saw an actor in that movie do the best

back acting world now but just let me finish careful let me finish my monologue I can you this is the screen okay this is the screen right here okay yeah and when you can act only having this much of your face

in a screen also just think of this too in a split second so this is this is only on the screen for a split second. Bobby. So this is what you see, right? Right, this is what. Okay, Bobby. Right, wait, that's the amount, right? And this, and

the acting in this second, I stood up, in the theater. No, you did. And I go, give him the Oscar! No, you didn't say that. No, you know what I said? I'll be honest with you. I stood up and I said, loser. And I turned it everyone in the theater. I don't know him. Bobby. In fact, I told you this earlier when he was

in the bathroom, right? My girlfriend friend's niece from the Philippines, right, was in the theater. She's kind of retarded. Okay. When you, we heard your voice. Yeah. On.

Kalala goes, hey, to the niece. Bobby, no, that's your friend. You know what I said, the niece? I don't know him. Hey, listen. I'll lie and I said, I don't know him. All right, listen.

You're being super shitty. This is a big opportunity for you. It's not a big opportunity. It's a big movie, B. It's a big movie. You're both being shit. I'm a little horrible. My mom texts me

I went She goes I'm gonna see the joke She was I'm excited You know she loves you Yeah yeah I'm excited to see Brie

I'm like no doubt mom Three hours later She goes Oh I didn't see Brian Are you even on the call sheet When you're that like Is there like Does it go to a thousand

To do a thousand? I got a call He was out there for a while I was out there I got a call And I was out there for four That took four days By the way

Four days For a while And Todd was like Hey Just come out and do this little part and I do anything he tells me because I love him and but but you do get to a point in your life where you're like that's a not a that's a and and I was treated like such an extra I was walking around yeah I love it and I'm going to I'm like um I'm like where is the

where's the food or I was like I'm used to being an actor and people kissing my ass a little bit yeah yeah and the guy goes like he goes wrong way you you He went, like, just like a plane. I was like, I had a wig on, I both had no shirt, tight capizio pants, and shit shoes. And I'm like, I'm just like, okay, here I am in New York. And in an old textile, a rug making factory, like, okay, I'm just saying. And on top of that, Joaquin Phoenix wouldn't look in my direction. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not hello, goodbye, wouldn't look in my direction because, you know, he's a, he's an actor. Yeah, yeah. And I was just like, oh, I don't like it. Yeah. And then, Todd was like, thank you for coming in and doing this small part. Yeah. You're the best. I was like, anything for you, which is true.

I'll do anything for him, so I don't care. You know, I, you know, I did Little Davy Spades. Little Davy Spade. You know a little Davy Spade? You know, a little Davy Spade's movie in the summer, which was called Miss Something. I forgot. But he goes, it's one line. And I go, oh, where is it?

Hawaii. Oh. And I go. I don't know. Oh, that's going to be tough. Yeah. And he goes, you're doing it. Like, I don't want one line.

Right? And then he just, he's such a nice guy. So I just said, he goes, Adam's going to be there, right? Sandler. And I show up and it was the worst acting. It was so hard. Yeah. I had one line.

Like, okay, let me just say something. You feel like a fan. Well, you guys been in the business for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're in the background. And I knew this was going to be the case of the Joker. I knew this. Yeah.

I knew it was going to be, like. that i just been doing too long i was like yeah yeah i was like well all right i'll i'll do me it's okay it's worth it i did a movie in thailand and the ad came up to me three days in and said you're still here and i had worked in three days so i've been there oh yeah no one knows what you're doing there yeah you're in a stable yeah with a thousand a thousand other one of these ching ching's right yeah and you're all you know it sucks no i won't do it the only time i'll do it is if it's Todd because I love him and he's a genius. Yeah, of course.

Hey, B, remember that time? Remember that time I went to that movie premiere and we thought you were going to be in it? We both got dressed up. And then we're sitting in the theater. Oh, fuck. You have that one short scene. That was in, uh, that was in the Kevin Hart movie, uh, it was not about last night. Yeah, it was about last night.

Was it about last night? hilarious. Yeah. And you got cut out of it? I'm like, oh. Wait, wait, you got cut out of it? Oh, well, you know, you're not, you're not, you don't matter. I know.

They can replace you in any. They're not thinking about. Frank Grillo. Frank Grillo. This was when he was, this was, I'll tell you exactly how long, this was 15, 16 years ago. And Frank, Frank and I, we'd see each other on auditions, banging out, you know, TV here and there. Frank had soap opera, Sank was doing, Frank would do it, like a series, it wouldn't go, then he wouldn't work for a long time. It was like anything else.

And so, we're watching The Godfather or something, and I said to him, I go, I remember I said, how cool it would be to be in a big movie? Imagine being in a big movie like that, just like just acting. getting a real part and he goes I did I got one dude and I go you did and he goes I I just booked a movie with Tom Cruise Steven Spielberg and I was like what

and he goes it's called Minority Report I love that one and I go what and he was like dude I'm I'm going I'm going to be gone for two months and you back then you have to understand that's the biggest thing that's so yeah that's like you made it like here we go what here we go

yeah here we fucking go because now you're no longer TV guys because TV and film two different businesses. Yeah. Especially right then yeah. Yeah, you're in, you're in exactly back then. But even back in the 80s when somebody said I got booked as a series regular on a sitcom, he would go, you're set. Your reaction

would be, oh, you want me to suck your day? No, no, yeah, because I would be so impressed by it would be a life change. Correct. But now, you went, you went from making no money to being able to buy a house. Yeah, it's insane. But now what would, there's nothing really the equivalent of that, right? Nothing. Nothing. There's nothing. So, so, so, so Frank, so Frank, so Frank, Right?

Yeah. What? This podcast. Yeah, doing something like a podcast. If you have a large podcast. Yeah. It happened for you. It happened for you.

Yeah. I don't know why I said it twice. It happened for you. For you? You like that? But that has a thing when you're recording. This takes a while. It's not like when we started the podcast, especially your group of friends who are actors and professionals in Hollywood.

When you start the podcast, I'm like, oh, you made it. No. Because everybody can do it. Everybody was making fun of me for starting. in a podcast. I was made fun of it. I know you were. I was literally like, they were like, what are you doing with this bullshit podcasting? Grab a coffee and discover nonstop action with Bud MGM Casino. Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of One with Multi-Drop.

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Now, so Frank, so Frank, back to Frank. So he's gone for like two months. It's the biggest coup in the world. I go to the premiere with my girl, and I'm like, I'm going to see my boy in Tom Cruise movie. This is huge. And he was acting with him. He had scenes, everything. I was like, what do he like?

Ask him questions. You don't know this. When you're in a movie, you don't know this, that this happens to you if you're a supporting actor. How does your age or not know? He doesn't see the cut. Nobody sees the final cut. You don't know this.

So he gets to the movie. I get to the movie. And I'm like, where's praying? What is it? What is it? And you see him lean over a banister in a mall. I'd rather not be a. You see him lean over a banister in a mall.

He's wearing a cop helmet. And he turns like this and goes, that's all he did. There's no line. He just went, no. Like that. I go, I don't know. And I went, I went, oh. You see the next to Frank?

No, I wasn't. Has that happened to you? If you were, worse things. Adrian Brody had that happen to him in the line. Oh, I had a worst thing happen to me, personally.

All right, so I get a call. The Billboard Awards is doing a thing with, you know, who's that guy from the king? I know him. His name is, he's one of the kings of comedy.

He's named him. No. Steve Harvey. The skinny one. The skinny one. The skinny one. He's very talented, by the way.

I'm a big fan. I like, I like, I, I know your name. I just fucked out. I've always liked that guy. Oh, he's a great, really nice guy. I like it. So they go, I go, what do they want me to do?

They want you to dress up as Kim Jong-un and sit in the audience and do what? And they're like, we're going to bring a special effects team and we're going to make you look just like him. And I go, cool, but what do I do? D.L. will point you out in the audience. And then we wrote this deal where you guys have to riffed. back and forth, right? And so I show up at rehearsal, he's not there, right?

So I go, but he's not here. And they go, we know, he will be, he knows. Yeah, but he did it with everyone else. And I've been here the whole time. He didn't do it with me. He had to do something, but he's fine. So I spent like six hours in prosthetic makeup.

Yeah. Right? My manager is, I don't know how she got a seat directly behind me. Why? This is the best. And before the show, they go, listen, it works the best if you stay in character from beginning to end. I go, okay, and they go, even if people talk to you, you just say you're Kim Jong-on.

All right. So I'm sitting there. Full makeup. Already so depressing. But also, I could feel the sweat building up inside the cheek prosthetics. So uncomfortable. Right. So it's building up.

Every time we do it, you hear, and just so you guys know, they glue it on. They have to paint you with surgical glue. Right. And then put this plastic on your face. It's the worst. It's not exactly breathable.

Yeah. And they don't know you, so you're the first one they'd be added on, and you're the last one they take it off, right? So I'm sitting there, and then D.L. I know exactly what he does for us to get into this thing. And he's going into the thing, and I'm sitting there like this going, okay, okay.

And he doesn't do it. He doesn't do it. So I'm sitting in like this, like, I'm not bobbing, like, as he keeps talking, he's not doing it. And I'm sitting in there like this. And then he goes to a commercial break, right? And I'm sitting at a waving like this. And I go, I'm going, oh, I think he forgot. Right, right.

And then all of a sudden, I'm like, bullshit manager, who I'm still with, fuck her. She's like this. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. She's whispering that for three hours. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We'll work it out.

We'll work it out. I'm just sorry. You see him and sit through the whole. Right, so I'm sitting there the whole time like this. Now, if they had a camera on me from before and after, I wish they had that. Because before it was like this, but then it was like, three hours of just sitting like this, looking at people going, what the fuck do I have said in here? Right? Oh, my God.

It's in Vegas, too, so I'm not even in L.A. Oh, my. So I remember, like, getting the shit off and, like, the producers going, we don't know what happened. You know what I mean? And I goes, it did nothing. So there's nothing. I'm not on it. Like, no.

We didn't even have a camera on you, really. And I go, uh-oh. Did you get paid? Like $800? Like, yeah, I know, it was terrible. And after that's $700, yeah, yeah. Nothing, nothing, nothing. You got $400 after taxes.

He got $400 after taxes. I mean, there's so many of those, like, show business to see, like, nightmareish things that happen in your career. But you don't quit, right? And then eventually you get things that people do see. Jamie Fox has a story about it. there's no there's no record of that there's no yeah yeah there's no record of it yeah yeah there's no record of it

Jamie Fox I think it was him talking about how or I heard this I don't know if he did a stand-up thing at for Robert De Niro's birthday recently at a dinner recently it's like a dinner no it was a while back and he was supposed to do common I think it was him and it he just ate all the dicks all that he starts roasting De Niro and Dino's like this yeah I'm going like this

Nothing is there I don't do it I won't do corporate gigs Oh yeah I won't do it I won't remember when you did though He sent me the video You're like

Oh dude look at this I was like oh hell no Theo Keep your money Theo goes Aiden Christmas party Let's do it At some billionaires' house

Every single day Since that happened I think about that show Every single day I'll drive down the street How long ago about it and I go, oh! Because you cringe. How long ago was it? Last Christmas.

What? Yeah. I haven't really talked to him since then. The big sense. What happened? He was a billionaire's house. And then, you know, that little, almost something racist came out. Something racist came out almost. You're in the safe zone. And I want to correct, no, this is not the, don't. You're in the same zone. There are no more safe zones. This is not. This is it? This is not. I would have lost all my jobs if it was. I know. So he hangs out with this very talented young man

but a name of Ari you know him I know Ari his opener yes he's Jew too he's Jewish yes that's right

it has nothing to do with anything in the story okay FYI I shouldn't even said it all right

so he hangs out with a very talented young man and this kid you know he's one of those guys he hangs out the store for years

and how you know how you're in conversation with like you know with a comic that you've been friends with for 20 years and there's a guy just kind of like just standing there around he's not with anybody

he's kind of in the conversation but you don't fucking know him and he's just kind of standing there doing this you know what I mean and then all of a sudden you have to include him what's up man right your name is Ari right

don't you think and then they add and then they're your friend all of a sudden just because you have to work in this environment right right this fucking guy goes up before me and destroys this guy Ari right I'm nuts I'm like yeah this guy's killing

I'm going to destroy this fucking thing I bombed so bad that I see Theo go like this and he's so far away and he does this he looks at the stage and Theo goes like this like I've never seen anyone shake their

head from a mile away you see his moose and I just saw him his every face is it, now I'm going to get out. It's not working. So is the three of you? Yeah, it did not work. How did Theo do?

He killed. And it went well. Because he did. You're the only one that didn't do well. Oh, no. Do I know Ari? Who he's, you know, Ari? He works at the camera store.

Yeah, Ari, what's his last time? We've got to figure it out. I don't know. Yeah, it's some Jewish. No. We're not talking about that, Ari Manis, right? That's it. That's right.

He's a beast. Yeah, he's a beast. But you know, you go through all these nightmares in your, and I have, I have like 50 nightmares that I have, have in rotation in my brain. That one's there. Right? And it's constantly in this playlist.

Yeah, man. You know, and I torture myself. Well, we all do to an extent, but, you know, it's like, sometimes you just have cringe-worthy moments. Was it just, cringeworthy hours? I did a, I did stand up in London, I'm at a tent. And, and I did.

Hey, the best part about out there's like, London and is that? You can't just get off. Like, you got a power through it. Do you know that? Nobody laughed. Oh, my God. No one, because not only could they not hear me, I also was trying stuff. I hadn't done it.

I was just bad. And then some woman goes, she looked at me and she goes, don't take this the wrong way, but you're very American. I said, oh, she's just so big and loud. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I had sex with a, I never forgot, I had sex with a girl who worked in the stables there. And she had an amazing body, but I've never seen a face like this. it could stop a clock she had the kind of teeth the joke is she had the kind of teeth her teeth were so bad that if i threw an apple at her face it would stick like that was the joke sorry sorry

she had a great body i had a great i had a great time with her all right that's too much uh here's a thing i don't know how that i mean i don't even know why we went i don't know why yeah okay there was there was that so you bomb then fuck the i bombed so bad i bombed but bombed like oh and then i did a corporate gig The first time I made a lot of money for a corporate gig, my buddy Jimmy Burke set me up. Again, at a pool, at 4 in the afternoon, outside on a makeshift stage. I start trying to do jokes, and I'm not kidding, five minutes in, because it was just so bad, the guy, Lou goes, Bri, right in front of him, he's on the side of the grid, he goes, right, right pool side. Brigh, wrap it up.

Right. Wrap it up. Where were we? Hey, do you remember? It might have been a Sam Tripoli show, I forget. But it was at a, like, a hotel, but it was like in the, at a club. And it was outside, but they're like serving hors d'oeuvres. No one's really paying attention.

And all the comments going up, everyone's eating shit. Yeah. Everyone's eating shit. Then you went up and crushed. Do you remember that? It was like six or seven years ago. Remember that? I can't remember.

It was somewhere off sunset at a whole. I'm pretty sure it's Sam's show. Yeah, it might have been But there's also like a bunch of weird girls there Remember that? No They were handing out Like food and stuff?

Yeah I think that was in a hotel Yes, that was in a fucking Yes, that was in a hotel That was And people were dying They were eating shit Oh my God, it was awful

But when I see that I get mad I'm going to do well after When I see one soldier falling after another, if I'm following that, I'm going to do well. Because sometimes you get mad and you're like, all right, fuckers. Look at you now, though. Yeah. I mean, you get mad and then like you, your resentment.

That's another thing that I had to change about my act as a performer is if I was bombing. I think you've even said things to me. Because I used to remember I used to lash out. Even I used to do well and think I was not doing well. You've always crushed it. You've always crushed. You're one of the funniest people ever. Yeah, but here's the problem.

Because I can't believe you don't have a special. If you would have, if you would have got off stage and every time when, oh, I crush, then I can be Bobby Lee, you know? Yeah. The people that get off stage your time are, oh, I crush. But you don't write much, right? You're not a big writer. I love this guy. I love what he's doing right now.

No, because I think you're one of the best. You're doing what Rogan and all those guys do, right. I love it. You're one of the best. You're a part of that whole. We want more songs. You're Led Zeppelin. I want more from Zepernard made one song, Free Bird.

Pretty great song. Great song. I'll just do it every day. You know, it's so funny. I've never ever gotten tired of watching it. It's funny that you say this. You make me laugh every time I watch, I sit and walk. Yeah, my career's not over.

I want more songs. Is that dying? I want more songs. Is that dying? I'm not dying. Number one. And also number two is this year at my age. Yeah.

Is the most money, the most everything I've ever done is this year. Good. It gets better and better. And there are people, bullies like you, right? These are fucking comedy bullies like you. you i'll just throw it i'll throw it right now do do it right joe rogan yeah mark is a little bit like that mark marron a little bit okay to me oh is he okay yeah you you're definitely said me again i know and when i see you dude we throw delete when i used to see you back in the

day i used to feel joy why now it's kind of dread no no no come yeah a little bit when i see you like when did i run into the other day because i'm a bully because i'm a bully yeah i get scared like you're going to bull me into something and you and Rogan and you know what that's why I'm here that is what

don't stand don't get nervous friend because when I shoot up school you're not on the list oh yes high hand though no

first guy you only guy bro I would shoot you but I'm your face 300 times in just your stupid fucking face that you I just saw a joke

no because my career that's all you'd hear my career is amazing your career is amazing dude your career is the reason why I'm here You just made fun of my fucking performance I know because I'm kidding to be a part of like

You know you're kind of a bully too You fucking didn't even return my He didn't return my text and then He returned mine yeah Oh you want me tell you what he said though Yeah please Can I read this? So Brian we need a special guest

For the 500 episode right And so we're trying to do it I text him twice nothing And I went Bobby Lee would be perfect Guess for this big episode Yeah It doesn't seem special though Really?

Like streamers or there's no extra Like a little thing Well we have something for you Well we'll see The show's not open I wrap my dick in a bow So I put Yo it's job

You around this coming Wednesday We're doing the 500th episode Fighting the Kid Want you be a guest Please And he put I'm in I don't respond to Brian

Because he's an old See you Wednesday Yeah We have to bleep out I know Now hold on You know It's, uh, I wish you had, I never, I never did that.

Oh my God, you got caught and now you're embarrassed. I never did that, man. You're, and you're, and I'm the bully? Bro, bro, that wasn't my tax, right? That wasn't you. No, that was, that was actually so pretending to be Bobby Lee. You're a bully, dude. You're the comedy bully.

Oh, you think I am. That's impossible. You're a, you're a, how could I bully, bully anybody? I'm not an alpha male. Well. I like the 50 shades of red, though. I have no muscles on my, about you've seen my body yeah what what do you mean no i'm not i know i know what do you mean

what i know i know i know i know i know what's so funny what this is great dude i'm glad we're here ching chong okay right i'm so glad we're here we can really just kind of get it out we can get it all out there yeah that's good because i honestly and i'm not like even this is not even a bit i feel tension with you guys no yeah a little bit shut up yeah you know you give my girlfriend fuck eyes wow dude well I hate to say this. Everyone gives your girlfriend fuck eyes. Hey, come on, take it easy.

Stop giving him, you're giving him serious eyes now. You're giving him, you're giving him an accusation eyes right now. My body just shut down. Dude, dude, you did a hot chick. I have to do a hard restart. Dude, you know. I had to do a hard, let me do a hard. Control all the Lee, Bobby.

Yeah, yeah, I got to do a hard restart because you almost died just now. I know. I felt that. And I felt, but here's the thing, though. That's like getting mad. that you drive a Ferrari and people look at it. Yeah. You don't want to drive Ferrari? Also, girls

want to mate with Shab. That's true. That's your smart. Girls want to mate with Shob and their instinct a lot of times. They see Giant the Giant. Yeah, yeah. He's dressed like candy. Yeah, he's shiny and he's cute. I want to have sex with him. Yeah, Shab has has, that's true. Right? But Shab has an interesting thing.

You have... Be cool, man. Honestly, dude. Does he have a thing in this car? a blues thing that you can park anywhere Oh A handicaps or luck

Does he have one of those? It's called a handicap I don't want to say that Because Do you have one of those? Nope Okay But I just

Park Wait I know what you're thinking I know what you're fucking saying Oh you This is so fucking me What am I saying You say You're suggesting that he has

He has A learning problem And that he looks like He's a little bit Mentally challenged Really? That's what you fucking Because you looked at him

And you go, your face or something. I didn't say that. Why is your voice getting high? No, that's where you're going with this thing? Where were you going with it? What? What did you mean by hand again? You think I'm missing a little bit of, uh...

Dude, I'll tell you why. Can I tell you why? You can't. And I never said this. No, you can. Oh, I know what it is. He looks like George from, of mice and men. Yes.

No, Lenny. Lenny. I killed the red. It's any white dude that size with that big of a head. I killed the rabbit. And when you say, when you say, hey, Brandon, and he turns around and his eyes do this a little bit. and you're like

oh there's something wrong like there's a couple of things yeah oh my god his eyes go like this Bobby Bobby you're being so mean right now dude that's not nice let's call up your girl see what she thinks

big old feet dude let's let's talk like this let's call up your girl see what she thinks let's go up your girl you fuck my girl no dude

what you fuck my girl Bobby Bobby Bobby you fuck my girl Bobby take it easy no he fuck my girl no he fuck my girl shopgate

shopgate fucked Oh, sorry, man. Sorry, dude. But you don't have attention with me. You asked for it, man. You don't have tension with me. You should be more worried about Brian around your girl than me.

I'm not really, I'm not really, like, you, I look at you like I look at Rogan now, and I look at Bill Burr maybe. Why? What do you mean? Just like, you know, I'm standoffish a little bit, like a little distance. That's not true. Can't trust them. Why? Because how long, how long, yeah.

That bullshit. Yeah, your success. That's such bullshit. I've never thought that in my life. Yeah. I don't... Star of your own show now. So what?

I don't feel like a... And I saw the numbers yesterday. Pretty good. 09, 1.0. Yeah, we do well. Yeah. The Goldberg are... Damn, you been...

Spilling up, you know, we... The show I was on. We opened with a 2-7. Damn. Then what happened? Then, you know, Roseanne's called that lady from... Obama was... Planet of the Apes.

Something like that. Which was wrong. And then she got fired off of the... Roseanne. And then the Conner's day. because we followed them and then now we were canceled

oh that was ABC is that ABC yeah thanks Roseanne and you're so funny because the two years I was on it you never even said anything I didn't I don't watch TV I don't I don't watch my own show Bobby how did you find out

it was canceled Bobby did you know what was happening yeah I live on planet Earth I mean I have all the devices oh so you knew it was headed down well yeah I also have agents and so they text you it doesn't look good buddy

well Brian didn't know he wasn't in the joker School tonight, 8.30 on ABC. What? Oh, man, that is dirty. What? Where are you guys shoot? Warner Brothers? Where are you guys? No, Sony.

That Sony? Yeah, yeah. So close to me. I heard this show's good and that you're very funny in it. And congratulations. Well, thank you. You'd be a great teacher on the show. Thanks for having them on, by the way.

I won't do it. Thanks for having him. I swear to God I'll recommend you. No, I don't want to do it on. Do you want to keep doing TV, Bobby? Yeah, I'm doing Magnum right now. I'm doing a reoccurring on that. You're fucking working all the time.

Nighting MPI? Is there another mac Wait Wait, so, so, so, I know, I know You know what, like when dumb people Blurred out and they do that Dude, I'm talking to Ching Tong real quick

But he just did that You don't have to shame him By going, ah, because we all know where he is mentally We all know where he is Education or we all know He's not Lenny Bobby I thought

I thought they canceled Magnum PI Okay, I thought a guy They did, they canceled it In the 70s when it was a show And now it's back new one. No idea.

Who's Magnum? Who's Magnum? Who's the new Magnum? Jay Hernandez. Oh. You don't know Jay? Let me see. Bring him out.

He works a lot. And he's a nice guy. You work a lot. What are you playing on the show? Kim Jungle. Okay. So I brought up that. Do you play a ninja?

That's a handsome guy. He doesn't have a mustache, though? Oh, he's from, uh... Good looking dude. Oh, he's in, uh... He's in suicide school. Suicide Squad. He's the flame guy. Not only that, he was in Friday Night Lights, you know, a bunch of shit.

Now he's, now he's, uh, he plays Tom Selleck. He's playing, he's, he's a magnum. And I want to say this is that when I go to Hawaii and I shoot that show, you're you have to shoot for two weeks, by the way. Because it's like, you know, in Hawaii, 10, 11 days. What? In Hawaii? How is Hawaii?

Yeah. You don't, you're not a beach guy? I love it. Yeah. Because I've been there for so, I've been there doing the show. And, um, I love. I love him so much. I love the cast so much

that that's why I go over there. He's a great guy. You know what it is? Because he's friends with Ike Berenholds, too, you know, Ike. Yeah. And he's just, it doesn't seem like he's He knows that he's the number one in the call chain.

He acts like he's just a grip or something. Does the show do well? I think it does well in Europe. I don't think it does well in the States, but it doesn't matter because there I am, there I am right there, in it. See? And I have a fake mustache.

in the show. You know what I mean? See? But anyway, I've been doing that. It's been fun, you know what I mean? So, you know, spilling up together got canceled. I'm doing that. Tiger was selling, my dad died.

You know, it's so funny because out of every... Oh, yeah, that's why I'm here. Back up. Turn that off. Man, he's going hard on the thing. I'm going hard to do it. It's 500. 500. I got to go hard. So this is about honesty.

It's about on it and being real. Fleshing out some issues. Yeah. You stop buying his girl. you stop thinking I'm so successful and amazing and be it. I don't think that. I don't think that.

No, he came on it because you I do shove you around the hallway a little bit sometimes. A lot. Okay. You get really physical and then you'll come up and you'll grab the neck

and you'll do moitai like lunges to my throat or my chest region. But I like to see when I'm talking to like agents or something important. But it makes me look foolish. But I also want to say this. Brian's wearing a shirt that says

Fighters Club. So let's just acknowledge that. I came. I knew it was going to bother you. I showed up with my, I got a bunch of stuff from Eight Man Strong. Yeah. Because CB Dalloway, that's his company.

Yes. And it says eight man strong. And I knew when I walked in with a T-Sh, a sweatshirture, it says, eight-man strong. You got roasted pretty hard. He would be like, he was like, that bothers me.

Don't walk around like that. And you actually physically grabbed me. I did. Anyway, my dad. He bullies me the way you, I bully you. Anyway, my dad died. Oh, boy. Okay.

Didn't I send you a nice text? And it's funny because I, you know, I go into the dad dying. And then you guys go into this little side, like, you know, Seinfeld kind of like dialogue piece. Sorry. Sorry, dude. Fucking crazy talk, huh? Sorry, man.

But I want to say this is that out of all my friends. Okay, so when I posted that my dad died, Chris Delia was the very first person out of anyone to get a hold of me, aside from my girlfriend. So I want everyone. But I texted you? True or false? It is true. But can I say this? Yeah.

It wasn't enough. Well, dude, I don't know if to call somebody when that happens. I don't know how grief you should have went over his house. Am I not? Ching Chong? Yes. Can we? Let's get real.

Let's get Korean. Is that enough? To me? Yeah, me. He should have him over the house. I don't know what to do in that situation. I like moist cakes. Man.

Don't we love moist cakes with a little fruit inside? I didn't know where you were. I like to see the peach. It's a full peach in there. Oh, my God. How would they do that? Right? I like that.

I heard you did was And you know what? And you know what that taught me? What? It showed me that we're not really that close. And it's fine. It's fine. I don't want to be close with you.

No, I don't want to be close with you. You can't use your dad died. You? Nothing. I had no idea. Not zero. You had no idea, too.

I had no idea. No, hey, careful, man. I'm not so shameful. I didn't see it. I had no idea. No one told me. Wait, wait, Bobby. Show Brennan.

Show Brandon for real. Yeah. So Bobby's in this car I said dude I'm sorry about your dad How'd you find out? I heard it from somebody And I saw I said him I was on the road

I didn't know Yeah yeah yeah yeah wait wait hold on this is really this really So I've talked about this a couple times now Probably ten times Bobby's in his car and he goes This is you want to see something really disturbing And he showed me one of the most beautiful pictures I'm not kidding

I've ever seen in my life One of the most powerful pictures I've ever seen in my life This is the moment His father died Hold on let me just set it up Okay his mother who's been with him for how long for how long

Bobby my mother's been there for 52 years now take a look at this picture am I ready for this picture it's so powerful are you a man it's so powerful

which one do you want the group photo or the one that's the one I want the one where the natural your brother your mom this is the moment my my dad died ready I want to show it on the screen though I don't want to show it that okay yeah that's fine because it's personal it's beautiful

it's one of the most powerful pictures i've ever seen oh wow dang look at that is that your brother in the back it's so incredible though because she's looking down at him and this is somebody she's been with for 52 fucking yeah

yeah thanks for bad for sure it's sad you know what the worst was because so i was at that dog house the chili dog place over there yeah and I was eating chili dogs I should not because I'm going to get diabetes You have high blood pressure right

My body is all fucked up I might not make it But um And I was about to chew into the first hot dog You know And then my mom called and she said You have to come now In Phoenix

In Phoenix So my brother I call my brother And I get tickets And we'd fly over there And so when we walk in the hospice My dad was completely like conscious and he knew

when I walked in you could tell his face changed you know you cried a little bit and he became happy because he knew I was there and my brother and I was there and then the lady comes in and she goes okay I just won't let you guys know that and so when we saw my dad we thought oh he's not sick

he's like normal he's there yeah but then the hospice they go we have to stop feeling feeding him because his chest and his stomach is infected so we can't feed him so we can't feed him anymore and then once they said that my brother freaked the fuck out. He's like, what do you

mean? He got mad. Yeah, in the room he goes, what do you mean? And I probably stayed back to him just, you know, how is he going to live me feed him? Right? Doing that whole thing, right? And so that now, and my mom's hysterical, so now I'm there, I'm the

oldest, I'm the one that makes most of the money. All right, Bobby. Why are you looking over to him? I just, I, because I know it's not about that right now, but I had to just show everyone that... You looked at the only Korean in the room, so there's some kind of cultural... Because he knows, he gets it, because he doesn't... Your number one son.

He provides for the thing. You don't get it, you dofess, piece of shit. Why? I don't know why I'm so angry. He's turning out of me that. You're fucking idiots. We haven't done anything. We didn't have anything to do with your father's passing.

You know what also? What was the shirt? I was at... Oh, yeah. I was in Portland doing a show, and the four row of four dudes with the fuck a shirt.

Yeah. Right? Safe Fighter. And I said, I screened at everyone in the room. I go, take it off. Take those off! The demons!

You know what I mean? Like, those are demon wear, dude. Yeah, yeah. I like your clothes. Thanks. What was I even saying?

Oh, so your brother gets pissed? Oh, yes. So my brother, yes, so my dad's dying. And then, so now I'm the Korean guy. I have to, I'm the oldest,

so I have to stay, keep it together. But the next seven days was the worst seven days. It's like, you go there, I was on Monday and then Thursday was where I was like, to my brother, I was like, I can't even go.

I can't even go there. Because it was sad? Dude, it's three in the morning. My brother goes, I'm going to stay there all night, every night to the hospice. My brother, four in the morning. My brother's showing me photos of my dad stirring at the ceiling. Yeah. But then doing this.

Like, he's hallucinating. Why are you laughing? I'm not. You're smiling. He laughs at these kinds of stories. Because I don't know how to react, yeah I'm uncomfortable No, no, no, no, no, no, why?

I'm not, why you know, why are you laughing? I'm not, dude, I'm not, I'm laughing at the way. I came all here to Santa Monica from fucking Studio City for your 500th. No, I'm fucking laughing at my dad dying. No, I'm not laughing. No, you're right. No, I'm laughing at.

You're a piece of shit! Wait, you did go like this. He's a piece of shit. Wait, Bobby, wait. No, Bobby, you went like this. Bobby, wait, you went like this. You didn't go like that. That's what he did.

Okay, but it's not a good impression. Okay, keep going to start the story over. Okay, I swear to God, if you smile even, Brandon, I'm fucking leaving. Okay, all right. Hey, hold on. You fucking don't smile. You're already smiling. Just, this is about, this is really serious story.

Bullshit, dude. I got it. Tell the story again. Tell the chin to, chin kind of smirking. Nobody fucking laugh. No one fucking loud. This is serious. Or on Tuesday, my brother's like, yeah, dude, like, uh...

What? That's already not working. We're not... Well, you can't say, though. I know, but... Come on, tell us. All right. Be it, B, let's tell a story.

No, no, wait, wait, wait. Do you have any tips? I'm not an actor. Do you have any tips? Let me just say we can't. I beg, I beg, I beg you, please. Oh, no, you're getting discussed. I beg you please, okay.

All right. I love my dad so much. No I'm sorry Yeah Hit him Fucking hit him dude Dude he saw my dad

I'm laughing it is Bobby Bobby I'm like that fucking Yeah Bobby I have to take it easy All right

All right Anyway my dad I'm so sorry No no No you're the star No I deserve it You're the star You're the star

You're the star I deserved it But don't Don't Let me finish The story Let me finish So he goes

Dude I'm staying I'm staying My dad, dude, I'm going to stay all night long. Right? I got, all right. But don't send me those photos more more. Right? Right.

So the first one, three in the morning, maybe Wednesday night. Right. It's like this. You fucking. No. I was a laugh. I was a laugh. I was a lot.

All right, give me another chance. Please give me a chance. Dude, we're not laughing. I'm trying to, all right. Stop laughing, man. But also, Bobby, don't make those faces. I know. I'm just telling a story.

The way it is. All right, go ahead. The way it is, all right. I'm just going to do it like this the whole thing. My brother. No. You can, Brian, I mean, Brian. I wasn't laughing.

Just take your thing off your hand. You can do it. Just listen. Be real. Oh, you're right. Just be real. Just be real. I'm your friend, right?

I'm a real person. And I'm saying something that's a story that happened and really hurt and it's devastating. And let's start. Okay, so anyway, my brother's be like, my brother. You're laughing now. Dude, you're laughing. See, I was ready to go. Why are you laughing?

You're having a, you're having a, you know what? This is part of the grieving. This is part of the grieving process. And I'm glad we're here for it, you know? This is actually part of the grieving process. Oh, I did. Let's do it really quick. So anyway.

my brother goes Yeah I did I'm gonna stay here all that So I go all right Don't send me the photos Then like so the first one was like Like this Just regular right

But then like But then like four in the morning It's like this Right And then about like Six of the morning Like these are the photo What?

What are you doing? Yeah what are you doing cover I mean he's So that's it You know what You did a great job You did okay That's the end of the story

That's it Thank you. Now, That was powerful. When my dad's dad died, when my father's dad died, I was with him. And the doctor said, it's catastrophic. It doesn't look like it's going to go along. And my father went like this.

This is how he felt about his dad. He goes, I'm standing right next to him. He goes like this. Don't, can't do it with a straight face. It's so bad. He goes, don't prolong life. Oh, wow. How's I?

Wait, who you're, he really? He goes, don't prolong life. Then he died next, then I said to him, sorry about your dad. And he goes, okay, 84. Does well with emotions. He just didn't like his dad. Boy, he didn't like him. Didn't like his dad.

You suck with emotions, too, though. Yeah, I got it from my parents. Yeah. We keep it, we keep it bottled up. Yeah, you know, it's like older people from different generations. I think they react to grief differently. 100%. Right?

It's just that, they're just tougher. Well, because they, they, right. probably went through the wars, and they're like, well, you know. Why? He's not. Now it comes out. That's what was behind him. That was behind his face the whole time about.

He doesn't even deserve one career. No, dude. He doesn't even deserve one career. I agree with him. You come here and you tell the story. If you can pull your shirt down, have a little respect. What a meat head. You can have a little respect.

Oh, sorry. Is that my head? Can you pull your shirt down. Sorry. My back. Can you be Like a little bit of This is an audio, right?

This is a podcast? I know. Is this a podcast? You're blending in with the couch so hard. It's red on red. You're blending so hard with the couch, but if you can pull your shirt down a tiny bit. You know, I mean,

that's what you're laughing. I wouldn't get out of here. No. I think I'm going to get out of here. No, you're not. I'm feeling bad vibes right now. Why? I love you.

Yeah, yeah. Please, Bobby. All right. We love you. I love you, too. Why don't, why don't you ever have me on Tiger Belly? Have you not done it? Once, a long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wanted to promote my fucking special. Oh, yeah, yeah. You did it. You don't want me on your podcast. You know, what happened? There was we had a scheduling conflict. That's true.

That's true. When do you do it? It's a good time. On Monday nights. I do it every Monday night. And I have a new house. You moved from the house I was in? Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. I have a new place and I built, I'm building a podcast studio much like this. Mine's a little different. you would you do you want to be more of you want to act only and not do stand up or do you want to do it all what a stupid what kind of question what are we doing i want i don't have a special i should get out of stand-up no i just feel like i want to listen listen listen you said to me you i went to i just wasn't portland i don't do press sell out every show yeah irvine sell on every show

Jesus. Right? Brea, sell out every show. Jesus. You know, Denver, Chicago, right? Why do I need to do more than that? Okay. I'm not saying to do it.

And I remember years ago, you did something, and I really want to thank you. What is it? I don't think that you meant what you did, but I want to thank you. Years ago, when Ken Jong was blowing the fuck up, you sat next to me because that was gloomy. Because I couldn't get any work. and you looked at me and you put your arms around me and you said to me

why don't you try acting class so thank you did you try acting class no did that make you more angry and so then you I hated you for years because I needed counsel and like you know

I tried to fix you tried to fix I didn't counsel like I wanted to be nurtured by you yeah but you just kind of was like you know it's your fault yeah yeah right you're not making it because you're not good

you're not talented is basically what you just no I didn't say that's in my head now you've heard a lot of stuff that I haven't said I know but I you know I'm my realer you're you're deciding that he's got giving eyes to your girl you've decided that I'm a bully

these are all jokes these are fake relationship right angles that I take your kneecap what I mean? But at the end of the day, how? Can I finish what I'm about to say, you fucker?

Sorry, but you hit hit. You struck both of us. We've never been hit on our podcast, and you physically accosted. I've never been treated so poorly on a podcast. I'll be honest with you. I felt like we share it a special time. What?

The picture. I would, no, I want to explain. The thing is, is that the reason why I'm here, this is the... Five hundred. No, no, no, no. that's not what I was going to say.

This is the first podcast I've done since my dad passed. Wow. You know, so this is, and the reason I would only go to a place where I feel at home to do that and safe. And that's why when you asked me to do this, I said, 100%, I'd like to come home. But when I came here, it was a rape party on my soul. A rape party. A rape party on my soul.

No, don't say a rape party at you. Yeah, and it's like, I was spiritually raped here. No, no. And that's not what I wanted. And also, I lied. I've done like nine other podcasts. My dad passed. So you're fine?

You're not special. So you're a guy. I feel like we got raped now. You do. We were raped. That you exactly. Okay. So move on with your program.

Matt Loward. Move on with your program. Whatever you have next. You have videos? Yeah. Did you, do you play a lot of video games? No, to be honest with you. You know?

You can cut this part. Do you edit this out? Yeah, we can. It's not live. I don't want this error, this next. this next part and I'm really and I'm being real I think my dick smells weird

all right so can you smell the tip of my dick and it's not gay but you smell like I'll go a distance but just see if you can smell anything from a distance do it Brian come on get in there you just mind

and go for it but lean back now yeah it doesn't smell no okay man Bobby what the fuck dude that was a trick thing

you just wanted me to get close to your dong that's that's a do you know that trick I just made that trick you like that trick yeah but you liked it yeah he pulled it out

he reached the back with balls I like this you're a little too willing to do it yeah yeah yeah that was weird I was what I was doing

I've done that a thousand times you're the first person that said oh I'll do it yeah but you know what I was doing and he was dead serious I was looking at the tip of it to see if there was any yellow discharge and I would have said

oh yeah the drip oh that you were doing I was trying to be a doctor I was trying to be a doctor you're trying to be a good friend But you pulled it out like a dead baby bird and you squeezed it at me. So I just saw balls and the head of your dong.

All right? Hey, you know how we were talking about Mark Norman doing that press in the morning in, uh, is it Portland? I'm free of where. You've seen Bobby's. No. Yes. You kissed the girl. I saw it.

You grabbed her. It was press. Okay. Can I stop this? I know what you were about to say. Yeah. Because you already said it. Yeah.

can I make mistakes language-wise I don't listen so thank you for laughing sorry but what are we saying I have no idea what we say

okay let's get back now because you on TV you behaved in a crazy way it's okay what do you mean

she'd get sport though she's a good sport who the woman on the radio the anchor oh yeah yeah yeah so what you're saying so those

Those morning ones, it's early in the morning. Yeah. I never know what to do in those morning ones. Who does? So I'll just chase them around. Even dudes, like, I'll kiss them like on their face. Yeah. Like a newscaster, like he'll be talking.

Well, you know, we've got a comedian. I'll just meet you'll kiss him on the cheek. That's the best. And then like my agent or someone will call and go, yeah, man, you can't do that no more. That's not the 90s. You can't, like, touch people. That's so silly. Yeah.

And I go, it's silly. You're harmless. Let's, what do you, do we have Matt Lauer in the, in the press? Oh, I didn't, we didn't pick that one. Did you see it? Oh, no, you didn't pick that one? What did you think of that? Matt Lauer likes that booty hole.

So, so, so he had sex with this gal. They were really drunk. She did six shots of vodka. She came up to his room. They had sex. She came up twice, though, when? Right. She came up because he took her credentials, and then he invited her.

It was like, once she came by. Well, they had a whole relationship. I think he was out. I think he's in trouble. They had no, they had anal sex. She's saying she got raped. She had anal sex. She was so drunk.

She passed out. but he left the room and then she fucked him a bunch of times after that relationship after that and now she's saying that one time we had sex was raped because I didn't give my verbal consent and it's like but you fucked him after that yes a bunch of times a bunch of times no no no no no no like she said she had to because of her career he wasn't in the same department she worked on a totally different thing it's like dude what's up with you I just think that fucks up fucks with women who've really been raped man I'm sorry I just I don't don't know. I don't know how to, what am I supposed to do about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm

saying? So you agree that after you guys had anal sex and then you woke up and you were like, oh, fuck, I had anal sex. And then you, then you come back and have sex with them over and over again a bunch of times. You go to his apartment a bunch of times. You guys carry on a relationship. Then it doesn't end well. And the minute that you filed a complaint, NBC fired that guy in 24 hours. He was gone. Yeah. Okay. So, but. If he raped you, then look at this. Which one? I mean, you know what I'm saying?

It's like, what the fuck are we doing here? Yeah. If you can come back and say, oh, that one time. Because it's not consensual in the sense that I was too drunk to consent. Yeah, but you're consent enough after that. Also, you're a grown adult. You did six shots of vodka. Is he supposed to read your mind?

You guys are all both drunk and you're fucking. I'm sure he was drinking. Right. The problem with that, yeah, that's a little gray there, but they had sex a bunch of times after. that's what's so weird to me this is a territory that I don't like treading on well that's the problem is nobody

wants to talk about it but the world we live in and um we just have to be very very very very careful guys what do you think why I'm telling the truth I'm not careful about this I'm telling I'm saying this is confusing to me and I think it's also damaging to to women's claims I think it's confusing for Matt Lauer I mean it's like wait what we hooked up a fucking

thousand times after that sets a really dangerous precedent to me you're talking about when you accuse somebody of rape that's the end of their life right we know that right it's the end of their fucking life it's basically it's career it's murder Bobby wants no part of that's murder no I do I want it I'm trying to I'm listening to everything you're saying yeah and I'm trying to grasp on to your point of view so I could take a ride okay so that's what I'm doing right now Get on the back on my horse? This thing, it's not a horse. I was just like, what are you?

You are moving, though. Like, what about your, what about, what about personal responsibility here? Like, yeah. You just have to kept, so you kept coming back to his apartment having sex with him because you were afraid for your career. Huh? We don't know, we don't know, exactly. This is coming from one. That's coming from her.

That's from her point of view. That's not paid seven figures from NBC to leave. So that's what she's saying. That's not what I'm saying. That's what she's saying here. What I'm saying, though, is is that, um, we don't know. We weren't there. We don't know exactly the details.

We know what they're both saying happened. Okay. Right? Yeah. And then Ronan Farron writes, Ferrell writes this book and it's like, hold on. Yeah. If that's the case,

if you can have a relationship with somebody and you can go back and say, this one time I was raped. Well, I don't know. I'm with you to be. Matt Lauer's a freak, huh? Booty. No, just booty first.

You know, apparently he didn't have a lock apparently under his desk. That was a lie. Wow. He didn't have a button. Yeah. Yeah, because it's not the movie. Listen, I'll tell you why I'm scared. That was a huge story.

I remember that. Can I tell you why I'm scared is because I was flying to the Austin Comedy Club, Cap City Comedy Club, one week. And I was going to the airport, my agent called me and says, you're out of the club. This is a couple of years ago. And I go, what happened? I'm flying there now. Last year, apparently you cornered a man who was one. he was a limo driver

you pulled your dick out and you said suck my dick right now or something like that and the guy felt like threatened and there was some sort of physical exchange and I'm like

what? You know like I never you mean like you just did to me on camera and then you also hit me with a shoe that's crazy talk Bobby I can't believe you pulled your dick out

and it's on where you struck me but what were you saying I mean It's hard to believe It's a fucking limo driver A line limo driver A piece of shit

Hey guys Hey guys Nothing Does that really happen to you though That's fucking Because you're joking obviously No like I was fucking around Probably with the somebody

That I don't remember And now I can never play that club again How crazy is that And I don't know I made good money there I could build there It's a great club

I love everyone there I want to play it again But there's a lot of clubs like that where, you know... Well, corporations don't take a chance. What? Businesses don't take a chance. They don't take chances. But Zaney...

That's why... But that's what I'm saying. It's an accusation now carries the weight of complete destruction. That's what I'm saying. That's why when you're bringing this up, I get scared because I know what the climate's light. So we, you and I... Don't corner somebody and pull your dig out and say, you can't do that. Right. I didn't do that.

And you learned your lesson. Yeah, but I didn't do that. Right. Too, right? It's like, you saw what I did on camera, right? But that was clearly for chuckles. Playing. Playing around. You're not threatening. You're not.

I have never molested. No. I've never fondled. Unless some girls or guys said fondle me. You did Louis C.K. And look at him. It's Louis Cicay. Louis Cicay, man.

Cicay. Yeah. Louis Cicke. Anyway, what's the next article? Well, but I thought there was interesting. I was like, oof, this is a complicated situation. What is her name? What is his name?

But his career is fucked in he, so it's like, okay. Brooke Levins, Brooke Nevins, Nevels. What she looked like? I saw her earlier, too. Hot? No. Matt. I mean, I ask you a question, Brian.

Not my type, but, okay. Can I ask? Yes. Go for it. I asked him. I don't know, man. I don't know. goes on with this situation.

It didn't end well, apparently. Yeah. Right. Thank you. You know, that he took so long to answer that I even forgot the question I wanted to ask that maybe so fucking angry that you wouldn't answer it. What happened? Nothing. What do you got any more? Great events?

Any more rape stories? Yeah, let me go to the bathroom. Yeah, go to the bathroom. Um. Back from the back to the back. Yeah. We're going to get back into these. Get back into the scene.

So let's do these. the back. Acting exercises. Yeah. Let's laugh. We were talking about heavy shit. We got heavy and deep. We got really heavy just not talking about death, secret comedy stuff.

About death and secret comedy stuff. Yeah, yeah. We do secret secrets. All right. What do you guys got? Here we go. So Mark Marin went on to his podcast and he says that he doesn't agree with Todd Phillips's statement saying that PC culture is ruining comedy. He has a quote basically saying,

If you're too intimidated to try to do comedy that is deep or provocative or even a little controversial without hurting people, then you're not good at what you do. Or maybe you're just insensitive. What do you guys think about that? Because he's responding to Todd Phillips went, I got out of comedy. Okay, because that's because Todd was getting a lot of, a lot of these critics were talking about how Joaquin Phoenix was probably the kind of guy that would inspire violence. No, no, no, no, no, no, you're off on that. So Todd's up saying he left comedy to do The Joker because he don't want to do comedy or just to PC. Todd's always been the guy who pushed the envelope.

I mean, Todd's always been the guy who did shit that we were like, what? From his documentaries to his movies, the hangover was outrageous. You see a dick in at the end. I mean, a lot of things, you're like, what the fuck. But here's something to consider. Those buddy move, the hangovers, that's gone. Yeah. The comedies aren't doing well.

He's just evolving. So it was just a bit, it's a business move too. Yeah. Like he's so talented. He can do the Joker, but name the last comedy movie that's crushed it. Like they don't, they just don't, it's over. Everyone has their run. Like, those, that rap pack of comedy, it went from, you know, Will Ferrell and that group to

Seth Rogen, that's, it's over me. Yeah. Yeah, but you only have seven. A new group will. They will emerge. But that's, I feel like the new group is close to, closer to in our neck of the woods. Maybe. 100%.

Um, um. yeah but i do think that there is i do think that that comedy that pc culture isn't good for art i don't think it's killing it though i think you i think you're responding that what gives you something to fight against but i also think you're responding to the the loud the two percent on there the the loudest like you're not making art philbert can give a fuck dave shepel give a fuck they are great because they are bucking against that trend they're like this is bullshit but they're just making comedy and look they're the two or the all biggest comics in the world just they sell out everywhere arena exactly they're worried that the

incels are going to use the joker as some sort of biblical you know foundation to go on a violent rage we've always had in cells in our society okay there's always a group of people guys out there that can't get pussy no matter how hard they try yes and i'm going to say this this might be controversial, but I feel like I am an in-cell that I broke out free. Wow. You made it.

I'm going to tell you the story. You always got unlaid, though. No. Not always. Yeah. What happened was when I was in high school, I realized during Sadie's Hawkins. Is that the winner formal?

Sandy Hawkins. No, that's when the girl asked the guys out. When the girl asked the guys out. It's the best? I never went. You were never asked. Stop. That was the best.

best? I enjoyed it. Never went. And of course you would enjoy it. You know why? You probably got asked. Bully. Why am I bullied? I agree. Yeah. Bulley, right? You love. I loved it. Picking on physically people

physically less than you. You're about to open up. You're a son of a bitch. You're a son of a fucking coplore. You'd go out for you, Mr. Varsity Blues. Mr. Giant. Shit. I had to go out of hair. I went to the dead. Muscles and muscles and shoulders. So anyway, some of us... Go on, Bobby.

Didn't get asked. Some of us... Got funny. No? Please don't finish my fucking model. Thank you. I wrote. Thank you.

Thank you. All right. My cousin Andy, my fat cousin Andy and I used to take my carola a brown corolla like station wagon. Hell yeah. We put it on the edge of a cliff and we sit on the hood

overlooking Sadie's Hawkins where the school was, Poway High School. Yeah. On a cliff. And I used to talk to... Andy about either killing ourselves or killing everybody in there, right? Just as a talk.

Yeah, you're an in-stop. You're high. You're high. You're high. And then you graduate from high school and you realize, oh, I'm never going to get pussy. Yeah. Because now, not only am I have the in-sell packaging, right? Yeah.

But now I have no, I don't have the smarts, so I can't develop an app to make money. Or get good grades in high school or college. Now you can get paid playing video games. Yeah, right? So now I'm in trouble. Yes. Right? So at 23, I walked by the comedy store in La Jolla because I was walking to work.

Because there was a coffee shop that next to the car. You were always funny, though. Weren't you always cracking your friends? No, no, no. Okay. No, no. I was scared. Like, I was probably on some databases.

You know what I mean? Yeah. My name was on some lists. Okay. And as I walked by, and it had a help wanted sign. And I thought to myself, I have to either try or become nothing

and I tried I knocked on the door I got a job I did the open mic I became a regular moved up and now look right so I'm an in cell that like you know got out of his predicament but we've always had in cells

you know so that's a very it's not the joker they're looking for any sense that's a legit that's a legit thing though for I hope people hear that because that's like that's form of desperation where you go I have one shot to get out of this or I'm going to be nothing yeah but in cells have to realize it's in their mind

hey if you're an in cell and you're like in a you know you know one bedroom apartment somewhere jacking off deep jerking off deep in the valley or whatever and you're thinking I fuck like this just know right that we've all been there

yes you know and some women maybe fucking nerd every once in a while Doma bone Is that wrong That's a bad

No Do you get to cut that out I think that's a bad Is that a bad point of view No Is it throw in cells a bone So they don't say It's not

With the women's responsibility So you know what Don't do anything women And fuck you in cells Jesus dude You just turned on I know Folkulture guy

I know I know I know Sometimes you guys Have to cut me off I don't know That's a good story though No no I was talking

would like that. No, but I like that story. You guys didn't say nothing. You guys like, keep going. You don't know what you're talking about. Keep going. But I, pull your shirt down. But I appreciate that story. I won't. I appreciate this story. It's a half shirt. It's not the 70s. It's not the 70s. But do you believe, so then what happens, I did the

comedy store. Have respect for my show. And then one day, Jennifer Field came up to me, this white woman. And she was 23. And she was like, Hey, I live in Oceanside. And I live with my mom in Oceanside. You should come over tomorrow. And I went over there She saw me perform

And I did 69 with her In her mom's clock Really? Yeah That's what's up And I never had Not only was she white Fucked

She was young And hot That's what And I remember Jesus Christ Hey yes No I remember being in the closet No no

No no I'm doing the scene now All right Yeah I remember doing the class Right Oh god I remember doing the class

Not the class What the class In the closet You know And I'm doing it You know Whatever right Yeah

We can not ask you. You're going to ask guy too? Brian, when I'm doing this, don't go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, right? And going, and I remember looking up at the heavens, right, going. The brown heaven. Thank you, God. Yep.

I thanked the Lord Jesus. Did her vagina taste like Heineken? Yeah. Yeah. Then did you. That's what happens. And hot blood. That's from a book called The Brief and Wonder's Life of Oscar.

Wow. First time he goes on a girl, he goes, she tasted like Heiniken. Yeah. By Juno Diaz, his winner. Yeah, you got too serious, Brian. Sorry, I went there. Back to him busting, though. Is that the greatest?

Yeah, so anyway, I'm like, and she was, how did that, did she just start, how did that happen? Like, 69 is a bold first move. It's aggressive. No, it didn't start, I didn't go from walking into the front door in 69. There was built.

It was like a thing. Man, that's good. Right. So, because I didn't, she, because I thought maybe she was like, can you clean the pool? Yeah. Because I had never had a girl

Come up to me and go I want to hang out with you in a sexual way So when they said Let's hang out I always thought it was a job Like I'll have to move something Or you know what I mean But it's not about

So when I went to her house We had dinner and they came back to her house Why is a closet though Wasn't their beds Why not? I think because she had animals Like a lot of cats I don't know

Get in the closet But let me say something I fucked her maybe 20 times that summer Yeah, oh yeah And I mean, I literally would cry. Yeah, it's the greatest thing ever. You were 23.

Also, being a fat Asian guy, Korean dude. Doing the thing. In the late mid-90s? 95. You know, all these Allie Wongs and all these other like Jimmy old gang gangs and all these little things. They should be thanking you. They should be blowing me. Yes.

You opened the doors. Did I not? Dude, you're the Jackie Robinson of Asian. Did I not? One of the greats. Jackie Robinson. one of the greats of one of the greats am I not

yeah you got it dude you gotta put your shirt down that yeah yeah I wonder what that girl's doing now you were thinking about that yeah I don't want to I don't want to what she looked like I don't know

what did she look like back then she was blonde beautiful eyes maybe not fat big titties though big tidies yeah very big but beautiful face Princess Diana died

that's how I know that's how I opened the conversation Diana died. Yeah, yeah, Diana died. So how far, what year was that when Diana died? 1994? I'd say three. I'm going to say 94.

It would have to be after 95 because that's when I started doing stand-up. So 95 is when I started, and I know that she had died. 97. 97. So, yeah, so that's why that happened. So when 97, I was working the door at the La Jolla Comedy Store, that date, which is probably a Saturday.

I don't know. But... I opened for Joe Coy, and he had some old school... The guy was Asian, said he worked with you at the Times store. It was a door guy. Bigger, dude. Okay, he's Asian. Does he look Asian? Yes. Kind of. Could be

Mexican. But he said he's Asian. Oh, wait. So just rewind what he just said there, right? He's sometimes confusing. I said, is he Asian? You look kind of, but could be Mexican. No, I'm saying he's for sure Asian, but if you didn't know for sure, you might be like, is that a big Mexican? So if I was blind, I could go, maybe he's a Mexican. That's right.

Yeah, you could. Yeah. Hey, what are you saying? I think about what you're saying when you say it's racist. It's racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is? Yeah.

Why would you, I mean, sure you guys work with each other for ten years. You've been tuning out lately. No, what do you mean? Why? Just now? He gets low energy. No, no, because he starts thinking about his own career and his own nepotism. and wants to make it about him he's like don't use words like nepotism i have a table

me tomorrow this is what he's thinking this is what he's doing he was tomorrow bobby's got this he's got a good funny point of him and tomorrow and then i got a call lassie about assy yeah the wardrobe thing and then my hair thing why did you say nepotism do you know what nepotism do you say nepotism yeah who knows what nepotism i know what nepotism i know what nepotism i know what nepotism is what will smith is doing with his son yes That's what it is. Yes. It's where you promote those you're related to positions of authority where they don't...

I got to go do my own blackout. Are we done? Man! I mean, we got a couple more current investment. Let's do a couple more. How long is this? I wonder, if I wonder, let's do a couple. I'm going to say this, though.

You got good laughs out of this thing? Yeah, we did. Yeah, I mean, my knee hurts. You did not get good laughs out of it. I'll get last. My knee hurts, and I feel you're kind of mean to me, but... What else you got, Jen? Look at that.

Gabriel Glass. This man robbed a bank. I'm sorry. So, this. So this man last Friday went and robbed a local bank in Texas in order to pay for a wedding ring and pay off his wedding that was going to be the following day. Thoughtful guy. Later that afternoon, his photo and video went viral. And his fiancé actually saw it and convinced him to turn himself in.

Well, who, can I tell him? That's love that. Who thinks they're going to get away with robbing a bank? That guy. That guy. That guy. No mask, nothing. That's incredible.

This guy with no mask goes in there with a hat And he's trying to get out of his marriage No No I think he loves the fuck out of it His name is Heath Bumpus I mean Dude you know

You know how stupid do you have to be To think you could rob a bank with no mask And get away with him? I'm going to put this Even with a mask Even a mask can be tough But at least The cops can figure it out

Wow You're breathing hard over there dude Bobby? Bobby just passes on. Next. All right, here's the next one. Oh, boy. So a photo of Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush went viral a couple days ago.

Yeah, I saw this one. They were both at a football game, a Cowboys game against the Packers. And a lot of people were giving Ellen some hate over sitting and seemingly having a good time with George W. Bush. So she addressed it on her show You'd be a real loser You'd be a real loser To even give a fuck Yeah also she's a lot to talk

To the President of the United States And don't get me wrong I like the Cowboys I love the Cowboys I love all the village people As a matter of fact Older Demos I want to leave too Bobby

Hold on Bobby Bobby We love you man Thanks for having good luck We love that's it Bobby Lee on the 5th Bobby on the 500th episode He just took off

This took all the energy on my body I just don't care Like I don't know why everyone gives a fuck Yeah But Ellen's the next to the president's like All right People are up in arms Yeah

Okay You know I don't give like Who would throw hate at Ellen or George Bush Who gives a fuck? I agree How does it end though What does she say?

She basically says that You need to be kind to everybody Oh he's back Oh there we go Fuck I'm so glad I'm so glad, dude. You got a little bored, and now we have you back. Yeah.

All right. Anyway, she was the producer of the show I was on. You know that, right? She produced a sitcom I was on. Was she actually there? She showed up twice. There you go. For two years.

I guess. What's this next one? What were you going to say about it? Do you guys make it with funny jokes about that? I think Ellen Generous in her time was one of the best comics to ever do the game. She was one of my, on HBO back in the day. Got you so good. She had her HBO, specials of her half.

were, like, so inspirational to me. Monster. Because her jokes were, um, clinical jokes. Oh, my God. The joke writing, you know how a lot of, um, and I want to be, I'm not, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get racial, but a lot of back in the day, black comics, you would sell things based on attitude, which I love as well, right? But Ellen's joke writing was so cute and quirky and clever.

My, my buddy directed about 200 episodes of her show and said, said she was so fucking phenomenal. Undeniable, huh? She just did improv. Genius. There'd be a script and then she'd go, okay, roll, let me try this. And she'd just come up with 15 different different different different.

It's just a mona. Phenomenal. Then she took how many years off and then came back and did stand-up yet? She stopped doing standard, though, right? She stopped doing it and then came back. Oh, is she doing it now? Well, she does it on Netflix. Oh, wow.

I think Neil helped her without. Neil Brenn wrote a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Awesome. What are we do? We don't know you? Almost. This is the last one, dude.

This is a really quick one. Yesterday, Instagram actually disabled the following tab. So now you can like and comment on other people's posts without your friends knowing. Oh, so you can't see what you like and all that stuff? Is that good or bad? I think that's good for when you have a, in a relationship. Yeah. Because a lot of people catch, it's called, I guess, microcheating, where you like someone's photos a little too often.

Microcheting. Or you're leaving comments on your ex's photo. That's where all my fights with my girlfriend and Kalila is like, so, you like so-and-so's girlfriend? And I go, what? Yeah, you like like six of her photos. Let's just see all of it. And you're like, oh, yeah.

She's a nice girl. You know what I mean? She's hot. I thought they're going to get rid of being able to see followers too. I think they're still in the works of trying to figure out whether they want to do that or not. How many followers do you have, Bobby, on Instagram? Now, here we go. You're doing what DeLea does.

I'm not. And you're going to go, oh, you only have That? Look what I have. I'm wondering. Exactly what he's doing. Unload it right on my face. That's what he's doing. What do you have, Brian? I don't know. A lot. Like 7 million.

No, what do you have? What do you have? Be honest. There's this girl who was so good looking at Instagram when you search. And I was like, Jesus Christ, she was so good looking. I was like, who is she 10.4 million followers? I was like, I'm not going. 10.4 million followers? That's the crazy you should have

ever seen. She just... 130, huh? You got it. You found. I found her. She came up in my feet. She's hot. So everyone follows her. Wow. I'm not following her, though. I only have $455,000.

That's kind of a lot, Bobby. What do you have, Brendan? I don't know. I like a million. I don't know why we're talking about it. Really, I haven't been here a while. Really good to have me here. Bobby.

Thank you for having. You're one of our favorites, man. Bobby, what's next for you? I enjoy it. When are you on the road again? No. I'm going to tell you all the little things I got going on now. Please do.

I'll tell you. I'm doing a little Netflix. Netflix animation show What's it called? I can't tell you yet Not big mouth It's going out that I do with Taylor Friday Me, Brent Gellman, a bunch of people

And then I'm but Stop talking like this, making me angry I don't know why What do you mean? I'll bully you You fucking start talking normal Hey man I'm having had it with you

I've had it with you I've had it with you I've had it so much Hey man Be respectful at my studio right now All right You want money for that I'll pay for it

Yeah I do I choose it Hey. Yeah, yeah. I'm about a hat. You'll pull your fucking shirt down right now. Get your dick out of your car. I ain't no limo driver.

Now pull that fucking, get your hand out of your fans. You want to smell something interesting, right? Oh, no. Nope. But Brian does. No, but let's be real. You know what? Here's what I'll do.

I'm going to stand up and say goodbye goodbye closing monologue. Please. And I'm just going to leave. Do a closing monologue. Do a closing mon. And have another one I have to do with Rob Schneck. Give us a send-off. Rob Schneider at 7.

Give us the send-off. This would be the final send-off for Bobby Lee. Five-hundred episode, you guys. There's five-hundo. It's five-hundo. Please be respectful. Five-hundo. Be respectful, Bobby.

Don't make... Hello. Thank you. I thought, that wouldn't know it. They didn't like it. No. Take your time. Take your time.

Three shades of red. Three shades of red. Three shades of red. Really? Red leather. red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather yeah that's how you do it i'm just gonna sit like this then okay um you know over the years um i haven't had i haven't had a i've had good things been bad things have been in my life sure what hey fucking get on with it get on with it you

you a fucking mollusk before i beat you i'll be honest with you i'll feel like fucking being me and you This last couple of months have been really tough in my life. This year has been really tough. I've had some great things and really devastating things happen. You know, I was on a show, got canceled. I was devastated, and then I got, did a couple of other things, and then it was good. And then my dad died. It was really devastating.

But at the end of the day, the reason why I'm here is because I like to go and say hi to people that I love and comedy places where I feel comfortable. And this is one of them. and I really am just blessed that you guys are my friends and I'm blessed that I feel like my career has just started I feel I'm getting so many because of Tiger Belly

and because I'm a part of this world I'm getting a lot of love out there and a lot of business and it feels great and I really appreciate your health We love you, man One of the funniest people period God bless you

and don't bring up my special again because I'm doing one All right when I don't want to talk about it yet All right Okay but I'm that ching fat big tall ching Don't say. Yeah.

Come. It's chin. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, you don't need to do that. Well, you don't need to do that, Bobby. You're making yourself more Asian. You don't even make your eyes like that.

Why him? Your eyes are the same. And I love the other Asian one. Yeah. She's a cat, dude. She's a Vietnamese. You are? I love it.

Love the movies. Oh, fuck, man. No, great movies. Remember the platoon? That was a good one. We remember the one with the, um, when Martin Sheen? is in the water. Yeah, that's Apocalypse now.

And he comes out, his face, and then the knife. Oh, fuck, that's Apocalypse now, yeah, yeah. It's an old movie, man. Yeah, but you're talking about Americans in Vietnam now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a little bit more than that.

How many dicks you guys stuck in your life? Oh, fucking A. I was in college. That's it. Love you, brother. Man, be less sloppy. Oh, that's a good look. Look at that pubic bump.

You got a real gunt there. Bodyed up, man. What do you mean? You got a, you got an ass on you, though. Ah! Oh. That's what you know? That's a salt.

Why, my family are so insulting? You guys have bird flu and SARS. Oh, that's, slowly die. You gave me, you gave me SARS with your butt crack. Was that good today or bad? I feel like it was chaos. It was the worst podcast. I know.

I'm so sorry. Was that a little off? I'm so sorry. No, you're very. We had fun. Are you sure? You know, here's a reason why it's also scary to do your podcast. Why?

And the reason why I haven't been on in a while. because you've been asking, I know how he does it too. He does it in a sly way. And it's always like, hey, in one hour, can you fill in for me? It's like, what the fuck? Yeah. Now? I don't give you a lot of...

Yeah, you don't give me a lot of... I'm not a good planner. Yeah, but what I wanted to say was is that I truly love you by. Oh, man, Bobby Lee.