The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 502 Will Sasso

Episode Date: October 12, 2025

Will Sasso is back to fill in as guest co-host with Bryan. The guys talk about Will showing up to the old studio because Bryan didn't tell him we moved, Ten Minute Podcast reboot rumors, unsolicited bear video messages, Will's time at the University of Canada and taste for factory farmed cows, botched double eyelid surgery, Will's sleep apnea during the show and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whoa. And Will Sassau just came in. Hey, man. Will, take it easy. Shut up. All right, let's start this podcast, dude. Shut up. First, first, you're going to shut up. All right. Okay? Man.

No, no, no, no, no, no. First, there's chairs bigger. Yeah, it is. We got you a bigger. I told you to shut off about seven or eight seconds ago. and here's the other thing I know that on podcasts we talk yeah it's what podcasting is all about hi Chin how's it going Will's got the giggles today

hi how are you I'm good I'm Will I went to the wrong studio so he's really fired up Brian I told you to shut the fuck up and before we get into that and we discuss that with your audience whom you know I love and respect

very much Yeah, yeah, yeah. So much so that, especially today, I almost feel like you don't deserve them. Well, I'm asking you for the last time. Stop. Talking. We're going to do a podcast first here today, you and I. Yeah?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. I'll tell you. what that is. Go ahead. Can I?

Can I? No. I'm not asking you questions. I'm going to tell you what it is. Today, Brian Callan, you're going to take a time out. I would ask you not to speak anymore if it pleases you. I mean, if we're friends, like you say we are, we are friends. Known each other a long time.

Shared a lot of laugh. Yeah. So I'm just going to ask you to let me handle this for a second. And what I'm going to say to is, we're pulling off a podcast first. Because you're going to take a timeout, Brian. And this timeout is going to be different than any other timeout that you've ever heard on a podcast. Sure. Someone has to leave during a podcast to take a shit.

Or it's not the time for the guest to talk. Well, that's not what I'm talking about. Usually it's one or two people talking. So you'd probably think that in that you're not talking, then I'll be filling that space? No, Brian. We're both going to take a time out. And we're going to think about what we did to our friend will.

Begin. I'm going to take a timeout from the timeout and suggest that perhaps you're not thinking things and you're talking again. And that's not what a timeout is. Any elementary school student would tell you that. So let's just think about what happened with our friend Will for a little while.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to enjoy how comfortable. this new chair is and get the mic right here and here we go good good so during that time, Brian. Why don't you share what you thought about. Okay, look, Matt. I want to apologize. No, don't start with some fucking apology

that's hollow as shit. You can't even prove to me that you know what the fuck you did first. I didn't know that I didn't tell you. I just didn't realize that you didn't know where the new studio was. And you went to the old one in Playa Vista. And then you had to drive here

and it took you about 25 minutes. Yeah, it took me about 25 minutes. It's only about four miles as the crow flies in L.A. Yeah. And you know that four miles as the crow flies in L.A. could take you anywhere from 15 minutes to two and a half hours. That's true, man.

Yeah. So we got kind of lucky. Yeah, a little lucky. Hey, I got a question. Go ahead. What's wrong with you? You know, just in general. You know, I got these texts. I got these texts from you. And I was excited. I said, let's do the podcast.

And then I got, I just got this. You go, I go, you go, tomorrow is the last step of T-fat K, I'm going to ruin your fucking podcast, Emily. And you call me Emily. Yeah. And I go, whoa, bro.

Come on, man. What's that mean? And then you go, what does anything mean? And then I go, I don't know what that means. And then you go, how the fuck should I know? I must have been confused. And then I go, you up? And you go, yeah, bro, L-O-L.

And you sent me a picture, a video of a rush man wrestling a bear it made its way across the internet today and I felt like sharing it yeah you send me a lot of bear videos man I send you a lot of bear related media yeah because it's a bear it's usually a giant bear sometimes I get a picture of a bear

and it's just waving behind a tree yep right hey don't take phone calls on your podcast and then all right and then I get and then I'll be like all right dude whatever and then I get a bear ripping into a carcass or killing an animal yeah or or how about that polar bear with the

beheaded cow. Yeah. That was a funny one. Yeah. And, you know, what you're saying is that you're a bear and then you're going to do that to me. That's what you're saying with imagery. Would I suggest that you're a beheaded cow?

In a way. Brian the beheaded cow callan? It kind of has a ring to it. No, it does. Brian the beheaded cow call. I don't think that has a ring. I don't think it has a ring to it. Dude, you got a lot of fucking cool nicknames.

None as cool as Brian the beheaded cow call. No, I don't like it. I think if there's a lot of. There's anything that your listeners and your audience at large could help you with just to further things along and, you know, show that you know what's up. You've got cool things like nicknames. Brian the beheaded cow callan. All right. Well, I just think it's a little clunky.

You know what you could call your next comedy special? What? Moo chop. Fuck you. Fuck you. And then I get this. 4 p.m. Cool.

I go, yeah. You go, K. Why? Wait, hold on. Why are you reading this? Because I just want to go through this. You go, K, shh. And I go, no, don't do that.

Yeah. You go, we're going to enjoy some silence today. I did say that. I go, fuck you. And you go, fuck you, bro. I go, dude, then you go, I'm going to fuck you up. I didn't mean that. I said, why?

And you said, shut up, I said. Anyway, either way, it's been nothing but fucking aggression. Yeah. Well, that's interesting that I did say we're going to share some. silence today. Wow, that's quite subconscious. See how that came out. It's prescient. In a way maybe I manifested this.

Maybe I was late today in a way that wasn't my fault so that I could just get aggression out towards you. What do you think of that? Well, I think it's interesting because we I majored in psychology, right? No, I didn't know you. I don't know if you went to college. Yeah, no. I went to the

University of Canada. Hold on. the what? I went to the University of Canada. Is there such a thing? Chan, let's that up. Can you bring up a university? Canada, I'm sure they have a website. They didn't have a website when I was there.

It was sort of before Tim Bergerzley. Well, no, see, it says colleges and universities, Canada. So here we are. Study in Canada, top university, cities. You said University of Canada. What is the best university? And it says Canada right there. Study in Canada.

Yeah, but you said you went to the University of Canada. Yeah, but sometimes. they just call it Canada for short. No, no, because... Yeah, Canada. Hey, where'd you go to school? I was at the Canada. You just get caught in the lie, bro?

No. I went to the University of Canada where I majored in psychology. Man, you are... I think you got caught in the lying. You're lying. Dude, I don't lie. That's one of the Canadian traits we learn

in the Canada... The Canadian College of Canada. Oh, Sid, you're stumbling over your words because your body's all, huh? Everybody down here in the United States of America is always like, oh, you Canadians, you don't know anything. Ha, ha, man, you're... Ha! Oh, no.

Hey, Will. I wanted to call you on here. I wanted to call you on here because I want to make a little announcement. No, don't, oh, oh, hold on a second. Yeah. Don't make... Okay, so, all right. Hey, hi, Brian.

Ha, ha. It was funny. I was late. Ha, ha, because Brian did send me to the wrong play. Ha, ha. And I pulled in. And the, and the girl there at the desk was just befuddled at the mention of the fighter and the kid, which did make me smile. First of all, she probably went, you don't know Brian Callan in person.

Yeah, no. And then, so I thought that was funny. And then, so I don't really give a shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's all right that I'm, you know, that you sent me to the wrong fucking place. You know, I already, I already drove forever from where I fucking came from. So that's not a big deal.

And you know what? We are good friends. And you know another thing, Brian? What? We've been late to each other's shit for a long time because we're good pals. Long time. And we used to do a podcast together years ago. And I think we, and we, you know, we might do another podcast together.

And we've mentioned that on the program here, the 10-minute podcast with our good pal, Crystal. But you and I might just do a podcast together. And I wanted to go through what made me, maybe we can figure out what we're going to do. Yeah. What is the podcast about? Okay, yeah, yeah, but here's the thing, though, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's just get it out on the table.

At 10-minute podcast, we used to call it peeling the onion. Yeah. Get to that pearly, malleable, soft, you know, melt in your mouth. Middle. Middle of the onion. And just be transparent. Brian and I had been talking about doing a podcast together. But, you know, don't tell everyone everything.

No, I just thought we brainstorm. See, what should we, what should our podcast be about? Because I had some ideas. Well, I mean, can I bounce some ideas off you? Yeah. And you won't be shitty? no I'm not going to be shitty I'm just saying because I'm just bouncing ideas and I don't like when you're shitty I'm not shitty because you're shitty sometimes well you're kind of drum rolling it pretty

hard aren't you but you're already doing shitty now yeah no no no I'm not doing shitty all I'm all I'm all I'm trying to say is don't don't promise people because you have a you do have a very loyal audience and I'll tell you and I would like to say this on wax here on on on the fighter and the kid when I get messages from people that say hey bruce bring back that podcast and do this or do more of that. I really appreciate that stuff. And I know that there has, but there are people that have listened to the whole,

you know, 10 minute podcast canon. Yeah. And there's talk about reviving. I've heard online. And this is exactly. Online. Online people say that sort of stuff.

Online, there's no rumor. There's people saying that would be fun if you did that again. That's a rumor. There's rumor. Yeah. Okay. Call it rumor.

Call it. I mean, it could happen. Anything. can fucking happen. Anything can happen. I could get up and plant my left foot in on the bridge of your nose and knock into that. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Knock that ugly ass, stupid, fucking medieval grandfather clock that you have for some reason. Oh. Why do you have that? Oh, you don't come into my studio and start threatening physical stuff because I'll tell you something right now. Yeah.

Well, right now. Yeah. Right now. Right now. Okay. You come at me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's going to happen? Grab a coffee and discover nonstop action with Bud MGM Casino. Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of one with Multi-Drop. Want to even more options? Play our wide variety of table games. Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills

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but MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario i don't know what's going to happen but i do know one thing for sure right you know for sure that i'm gonna that i'm gonna hey don't fall asleep when i don't do that that's very disrespectful wait look at this one yeah because if you do you know what that is what that's me in deep REM sleep dreaming of you trying to come at me dreaming of it wait hold on this is what i look like when i'm asleep and i'm dreaming i saw it asshole yeah here i'm going to show it to you again ready that's not this is how i have severe sleep apnea ready then this is me not breathing for a minute then this is me not breathing for a

minute and a half. And then here's the part where I dream of you, ready? And then it goes, head getting purple, no oxygen. Definitely having a stroke. You guys have to watch this. The world record. record for Will Sassau. Two minutes, 18 seconds, no oxygen. And then more, dreaming.

You get the picture. Oh, my God. So, go on about what would happen if I came at you. I don't know what would happen, Will. But if you do come at me, I know one thing, 100% for sure, right? You'll shit your pants. No. You'll shit your pants. You'll go, ooh-bo-woo. no i won't you insulting son of a bitch if you come at me i'll piece you up is that what piece you up is that something brian count says oh oh yeah well okay again again hold on yeah diggish i'm meat you meet a meat meat n apple pie i'm meat no i'll meet you halfway yeah i'll meet you halfway yeah so that's all i can guarantee you that I'll meet you halfway.

Are we cool? Because the ground is coming at you quick right now. The ground's coming at you, Craig, right? And you might want to, you might want to pull your... Pull my what? You shoot, right? You shoot, right? Pull my...

Because the ground's coming at you quick. Yeah, it's coming at me quick. So you might want to... At this point right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. At this point right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm loose.

Right? I feel good. Yeah, yeah. Worked out, so I'm a little hot. Yeah. Got some caffeine going. Okay. Right?

You're a little excited. And I'm feeling strong. Yeah. And quick. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So you might want to...

Well, might want to what? Grounds coming out. It's just you might want to... Don't you... I'll commit... If we're going to meet... Pull you. Don't tell me that.

We're going to meet halfway. Oh, you shoot. No, no. I'm not pulling no shoot. And... And even... I'm not pulling... I'm giving you.

I'm... Because the grounds come. And it's fine. It's coming. Yeah. quick yeah it's coming real quick you know why you know what come you're drooling well you fucking drooling yeah because i'm because i'm foaming at the fucking mouth no because you're a beheaded cow what your fucking head drooling with the cud and its own tit milk you were trying to suck your own

teats and got beheaded um i don't wish you any ill uh physically okay so that's why we've never fought. All right. Yeah. Because I would. Because you hadn't toward a wall. No. You know what happened?

You know what happened? You'd, you might want to. Yeah. I'd turn you into an evil beast from an M. Knight Shyamalan maybe. I'd twist your head completely around. Separate all your joints so that your arms and legs at the knees go backwards.

And you'd be like crawling up like on a wall or something like in some fucking horror film. Until I. That's what I'm going to do. Until I. I'm Will, Industrial Light and Magic Sasso, and I'm going to turn you into a horror movie villain. Well, until I counter. So anyway, we were thinking about doing a podcast, but what I'm going to say to you, Brian, is don't promise these people anything that you can't deliver. I'm not promising anything.

Because when, and now I'm really going to peel the fucking onion. When it comes down to a 10-minute podcast, that's three separate entities. And it's a whole, it's pretty hard to get a hold of three people to do one thing. Especially when one of those people is in outer space. That'd be Christalia. And I hope he hears this, because he's fucking in outer space. Yeah, he went into outer space. He sure did.

That guy is into shoes, his new chain, he wears a new chain. I thought he was kidding for sure. And coffee, me too. I look at Christa Leah and I go like this sometimes, right to his face. I can't believe I'm friends with you He texted us that picture of the chain Yeah

And you knew that this was real So as soon as I was like Ha what and then you were like Oh no, that's real That's real Okay so anyway Getting three people together Is getting him from out of

From off of Mars Yeah in from outer space Yeah you got to pull him by the oxygen tube That's hooked up to his space helmet Yeah, tough, tough, because he'll cancel on you right quick. If we're just kind of like talk about shit. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know that we should share that out like.

But I tell you what? What? Fuck it, man. You know what? I'm bored, you know? Yeah. Let's do a, let's do a podcast. And I would love to do another podcast.

Let's do a podcast called Chris is in outer space. Chris, in outer space. Yeah, that'd be a great. I was thinking we do a podcast about dreams. What? Just like everybody's got to, what does everybody have? What does everybody have? Yeah, like everybody.

What does everybody have, bro? A mind, a soul. Yeah, but what else? What do they have? What does every person share? Everybody fucking has what? A sentient to existence. Yeah, but what else do they have?

That everyone shares? Everybody fucking has. You know, a right to be here, to be in this world. Not really, not everybody. Some people should be killed, right? So we know that. Okay, but what does everybody just enable to have? What does everybody have?

Yeah, everybody just has like, you know, just like a life inside of them. Okay, okay, you're getting close, dude, a life inside of them. Not everybody, actually. So Chris is a little bit dead behind the eyes, right? He doesn't have life behind him. He has, I want to drink coffee and my dick, you know, that kind of stuff. stuff, right? But what does everybody, including even Chris, have? I don't know. A dream, bro. Yeah, you know what I mean? A dream. I'm going to cut you off right there and say this is a bad

idea. No, but maybe not. Maybe the podcast is about helping people realize their dreams. So we start with like affirmations like this. Like, can you know how amazing would this be? We're like, hey guys, this is the Will and Brian show. I don't know. What's a good name? Maybe Dream Big podcast. Yeah, the Dream Big podcast. The Dream Big podcast. and if you guys want it, then really want it. And, you know, we start with an affirmation like that. Mm-hmm. Okay.

I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to, like, you know, grind things to a halt, dude, but I really am. Okay. I'm fucking, well, that's not a good idea then. Maybe we go, maybe we're trying to that idea. No, no, no, it's not because of your idea. I'm just, you know, I'm just bored. Now?

Yeah. I just got bored. Well, all right. Just in general, though, you know what I mean? Let me spice things up. No, no, no, no. It's not your thing, Brian. It's not your problem.

I just get bored sometimes. What do you do in your work? In life, what do I do? I don't do anything. I just stay home. You got to swing a kettlebell or? No, I know what that is. All right.

Yeah, we have the same trainer. Nick tells me you're working hard. Yeah, I'm working really hard. Still fat, working hard. Nick is loosening up all sorts of parts of me that I didn't. Yeah, he'll do that. Yeah. My shoulders fucked up.

Well, see, now, you're younger than me by, I think, 10 years? Eight years. Eight years. now my my fucking body is breaking down a little bit my i had to sprint in my tv show i had to do a i had to do a run yeah and uh several times well that used to be like okay where do i run to i have to go through a whole process where uh no if i'm running i might pull my fucking achilles so i got a i got to roll my feet i got to do all kinds it sucks and then the next day i get up and oh i i have trouble walking so i have to warm i have to fucking warm my feet up before i get

out of bed and i'm not kidding i got to warm my fucking feet up before i get out of bed something happened all right i'm gonna abandon my my i'm bored bit that you just fucking dragged out of the air and stomped um but because i'm more curious about this yeah me too man i'm 44 years old yeah and uh i've started uh rolling you know when you get the thing and you're you roll or you get the lacrosse ball i only hey i'm 44 years old yeah i've only just you know played a bunch of contact sports for the first 20 years yeah and then and just never got a massage never never and then you're too throw it up weights i'm in my 20s of a crack clink clink uh this isn't going to work in 20 years yes so and then yeah and then 20 years later you're

like i can't i can't fucking like throwing shit hurts that's right that's right And everything hurts. And then Nick comes along and starts doing things that's blowing my mind, like having me roll my lat on one of those things. And then my shoulder starts loosening up. That's what's fucking crazy. And he says that some parts of the body are connected to other parts. And I didn't know this at all.

Yeah. So I've just been hauling up, you know, weights and shit. Really had never had a, I'd had like a couple of massages. Yeah. But this is true. Only just had my first deep tissue massage in September. What was that like? That's the first time.

It was fucking amazing. My first time having a deep tissue. That's crazy. Why? Because you're insecure about your body or something? No, you fucking asshole. What the fuck kind of shit is that? I don't know.

I don't know why. What the fuck is that, man? You just call me a fucking fat ass? No, I didn't call you a fucking show. I'm insecure about my body. No, I, I just don't. You want me to fucking take my clothes off? No, man, that would be really inappropriate here.

I'll take my clothes off. No, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. Take it easy. No. If you want... You've lost weight a lot. Don't say that.

You had it. Oh, you know, that's... Hey, you want to know something funny? Get a close-up of this. You see this? Yep. See that right there? Yep.

That is a new belly button. Congratulations. I got it in the year 2000. Oh, yeah, because you had a... Because I had to have a bunch. I've never really talked about this. all that much. You know what? Talk about it.

We're peeling the onion, you know. I really honestly, I'm going to tell you why I'm bored. Go ahead. But I'll start with this. Yeah, yeah. So I lost 200 pounds back in 1999 to 2000. Is that a real number? Yeah. You lost 200 pounds.

I was really, really big, Brian. If you, right after you left Mad TV and I joined Mad TV, if anybody out there remembers that, I call it the Golden Era of, television comedy i was don't do that okay well don't do that yeah well whatever bring well up when he was young please but you there's some good yeah well so what are you gonna do will sass younger younger let's see none of those are no keep going down keep going down no that's once i've lost some weight there oh that's me that's me eating breakfast out of the lord mucker cup can we can we show that this right here yeah oh okay yeah that's good yeah i'm eating i'm eating i'm

meat and fucking cereal out of the Lord Mucker Cup. That's what we used to be the richest prize in sports every year, Christmas Bowl. But anyway, make a long story short, I was 450 pounds, and I looked like I was 300. And then I lost 200 pounds in a year. That's true. Wow. Yeah, it was fucking stupid.

I never talk about that. It was pretty weird. Yeah. And then, and then I, you know, I promptly gained back almost 100. But not promptly. I've just been fighting with that, you know, Yeah, weight loss is hard for you.

That's 60, 50 or 60 pounds. But yeah, then I lost a bunch of, I lost all the fat in one crazy year of training. Didn't do any, didn't have the lap band or any of that. I was just, I was 24 years old. My body took to it like a motherfucker. I went to the gym two sometimes three times a day. And Brad Falchuk was an incredible trainer at the time. And now he's very, very successful in other areas.

and this trainer that I had was an incredible friend and really helped me. What would you say? What kind of workout? Were you lifting a lot? Yeah, just lifting, just the usual. Just getting the cardio in before or after a session of, you know, highly aerobic weightlifting. Yeah, that's all. Okay, so now we're talking about the, you know, whatever.

If you've listened to any of brilliant and I talking about my body, you could fill in the blanks, right? Okay, so if you feel motivated, get out there and you can do it. So I did it and I lost a bunch of weight and I'm still fat. But it's because I gained a bunch of weight. Anyway, you know, and I gain and I lose and I'm totally fine talking about it. I don't sound weird, right? Honestly, all bullshit aside. I don't think most people think of you as fat.

They think of you as big. There's a difference. Take it easy. Take it easy. He's a big guy. He's a big friend. Yeah, I'm a big guy with a big friend. And when I was, when I was really big, people were just like, what do you, what are you, three bills?

Right. Are you up over 300? Right. And I, and I go, yeah. And then inside, I'm like, I wish. That's amazing. I'm a sumer. What are you weighing right now?

So anyway, the other thing about that is, so I had to have two surgeries to remove a bunch of skin. So they take the, I won't get too graphic, but some things go off down here, right? And then they got to attach this to this. well where'd your belly button go it's in medical waste somewhere wow i actually asked my doctor if he wouldn't mind uh preserving it and giving it to me so i could turn it into a throw pillow with the date on it's a little bit disgusting it was gross and he said well one of the advantages of having me as your surgeon uh wherein i'm not just a plastic surgeon i'm a you know rah rah this and that is uh all of the all of the uh what do they call it after the refuse

yeah whatever anyway gets rid of it for free i i guess when you have like this shit done by you know you gotta go through some you know wacky facelift doctor they you gotta pay for the pathology anyway so and then I had to have my chest done who gives a fuck man so you know

but why are you bored because I feel like if we're going to do a podcast I want to actually talk I want to actually share what I think about how I feel about all sorts of stuff. I think I'm bored. I think I'm bored. I think a lot of people feel that way.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know I do. I feel like there's just a lot of chatter out there and not very little of it as well thought out. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what I think about podcasting. It's so weird because we started doing a 10-minute podcast in February of 2012. And that was. late kind of for podcasting podcasts had been around for what was it like 2008 when they started like really because that's when iTunes brother I think that's right I think it was probably before that I'd be really curious to know and then by the time we did ours you know we did it for a while you know I kept going for a while after you and Chris had departed because we all realize that would be you know because we're also fucking busy we just couldn't keep doing it

um and now it's like everyone has a fucking podcast yeah and i do kind of feel like wait a minute i was doing that with my friends and it was fun and it wasn't like this shit now where you're like well this is just you know you look whatever i'm not saying anything that people aren't saying all the time but it is kind of you know it's fine it's industry and it's show business right so as soon as the and i'm sure i don't know how much you've covered this sort of thing here on the fighter and the kid. But as soon as as people who can make the wheels go around, it can make money from something,

see that something is happening, that the kids like, they fucking get their fucking mitts in it. And it's, which is fine, which is totally fine, which is great, which is great. I want to say, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone should fucking do it. And if you want to do it, and any company should

fucking do it, and anyone with a fucking idea that they can fund and grease, go and fucking do it. But we started our shit just like I hired a consultant two different times to like learn how to like upload the shit. And we didn't have Logan Moy with us, our producer

for the first couple years because I was just... You were doing it all. Yeah, I would just huck it up on the fucking internet. But there's a book, there's a book called And we're just doing it in the fucking at my house. Could it done it at Brian's house or Chris's house? There's just three guys fucking doing it. There's a book called I think cult of cult of the amateur. Look that

out for a second. And it It's, uh, I had them on my old, my other podcast mixed mental arts. And as you know, that, that past is where I talk to smart people and, you know, yeah, the cult of the amateur is very good, I've never been on it. You will, but, but it's a really good, it's a really good book because, yeah, his name is Andrew Keen, a really interesting guy. What's called? It's called the cult of the amateur.

And basically it's like, we live in a time where everybody has access. Can, everybody can get what they have to say out there, whether it's music, whether it's comedy whether it's just a blog whether it's just a point of view and most of it is horseshit most of it is amateurist most almost all of it is not original so so being original and being um someone who has something to say something entertaining to say something original say something uh fun to watch something that's actually funny actually insightful actually moving well that takes that takes a lot of work that's that's a skill right and and it's a skill that actually has to be cultivated studied respected that's why you go to acting school theater school that's

why you study song and dance that's why you study how to play an instrument that's why you study music theory i mean there there is there is not only criteria criteria for good art great art uh great literature uh great music versus amateur music shitty music shitty music pop music. There is criteria for the difference between something that is moving, inspiring, overwhelming. That's why some movies are fucking amazing and other movies are whatever. That's why you hear some songs. That's why you can listen to Zeppelin over and over again and it's still astonishing. But then you listen to somebody who's really good. Like they have a great voice and the music is there and it's catchy. And then you listen to it three or four or

five times and for whatever reason you're over it yeah and and that difference without quantifying why that is that is probably in many ways the difference between pop art pop music and zeppelin classic you know whatever the case we can get into the details of it but it's not important but what is important is that as you notice as brian became impassioned about what he was speaking on yeah he sat like a chimp that's right and that's No, a monk. Don't say a, I sat like a monk. No, you're sitting like a chimp.

You don't call me a fucking chimp. You're sitting like a chimp. Unless you're talking about my muscularity. Who's trying to find a way to suck his own. Man, you're ruining. You brought this down the level of a, you brought this down to the gutter. A chimp who's sitting on a sloped rock and thinks, maybe now I can. And he pulls underneath and he goes to his balls.

And he's like, if I pull my balls, he doesn't know that they're called balls. And he starts pulling his, so that his. This is not, chimp dick, starts going towards his mouth, but then his finger goes into his shitter, and then he goes, oh, oh, and does it, and then this is just the rest of the afternoon. I'm literally talking about something important, and he fuck, and you have to start talking about sucking up. I agree with you, though, Brian Callan. That's an interesting, that's interesting with the cult, the cult of the amateur. Yeah, and, yeah, I'd like to, I'd like to read that, but never read a book. I'm Canadian. I'm joking, of course. You motherfucker, you're fucking. You fuck.

But I want to do a podcast. I have the antidote. I have an idea and you have an idea. We've been talking about it. Yeah, we've been talking about that. And I think it'll be a good idea. I think, yeah. And I just want things to be genuine with regard to what you're saying, too.

I kind of feel like that voice comes through when things are genuine. Great example is Led Zeppelin. There's a band now called Greta Van Fleet. Have you heard of them? Okay. Of course you haven't. Not only after your time. Also, have horrible taste.

of music you've said it hey you have horrible taste of music no no you know you listen bruce springsteen and and you make up a lot of dumb songs those are the only two kinds of music let me let me let me let me before you before you play this i don't want to throw these young kids under the bus because i do think that uh you know it's like when i was a young actor i was like always and not that i'm not right now yeah um yeah uh i uh i I used to just emulate my idols, and I would just kind of pilfer different takes and go, this would be funny here and there. But these dudes are, they sound, okay, look, a lot of people out here already know about this,

so I'll keep it short. They sound a lot like Led Zeppelin. Well, they're wearing too many feathers in amulis. It's rock and roll. I know, but dude, that's annoying there. Same guy twice in the middle. Yeah, same guy twice in the middle. Same guy twice.

Two different haircuts, same guy. Same guy twice in the middle. Same guy twice. Same two guys on the outside. Very happy with their haircuts, glamorockers, but we can't wear a string around your head, I think. I don't think that's allowed anywhere. Even in the 70s. No, even in the 70s.

If you were wearing a string around your head in the 70s, somebody, a kind person would come up behind you, pull it off while you're in a heroin day. Hells Angel guy probably. Yeah, he'll go, oh, that's where I put my axe, right? Yeah, that's right. So these guys sound just like, stop talking about what they're wearing. These guys sound just like Led Zeppelin But it's okay Maybe they'll develop their own style later

But this, in my opinion And maybe let's listen to a little bit Yeah Is exactly what you're talking about To me there's nothing behind this Because it's not theirs They're all the same guy They're all the same guy

Yeah let's see Well they're young dudes And they're fucking killer They're incredibly talented Any particular one? Play Play Play

They might be awesome No No keep Go to their Go to their their channel there yeah and then

fuck it it how about yeah highway tune first one yeah yeah come on man

let's get serious no prisoners guys oh damn he can sing though and there he is again because same guy anyway so you get the point right

they're pretty good though they're fantastic they sound exactly like exactly like Zeppelin and it's like yeah but I want to hear what you guys it's more like

oh mama yeah no you didn't no I do a better one we go to karaoke on weekends and he's always I've never heard anybody ever emulate Robert Plant properly

is that true check this out oh mama hatch I'm I'm a wind chime. We're a chiming at a wind chime. The song's called Windcham.

I'm chiming on a wind chime. I'm chiming on a wind chime. I'm a wind time. I tie wind time. I write my own words. Yeah, he comes up with his own language. But let me finish a goddamn thing that I'm saying, even though I know it's taken forever. But you owe me 25 minutes because I went to the wrong building in the wrong city.

It's fair. Um, uh, this is kind of what, I, I believe what you were talking about. Sure, you can erect all the fucking equipment and do a goddamn podcast, but why? And I think that's why I haven't done one. Uh, now it's been, uh, around a year and a half since we stopped doing 10 minute podcast. Um, we gave it away in a contest and a, a fantastic listener. The diamonding. The diamonding. Yeah.

We, well, Tommy Blacha, Chad Colchin and myself, who, after, uh, Brian and Chris left, writer producers, dear friends of mine, very funny guys, Chad Culchin and Tommy Blotcha came in. First Tommy and then Chad, and then it got into this weird thing. And Tommy was like, fuck it, man, we should just like pair this down

to the only listener who gets every reference throughout the entire canon of the show before us and then after and then it's just all these wrestling references. It just got, you literally, it just sounded like mumbo jumbo if you hadn't listened to it.

in a year it made no sense to anybody except for those listening to every single episode and they are our diamond listeners um and then we we wanted to pair it down to list literally one person who gets you know every ridiculous reference from within the podcast and wherever who's like i love this and um and then uh we gave it to a guy yeah we had a contest look at us there that was when we did tom green yeah thanks for dressing up ryan and chris Look at me in my hair. Yeah, dude, that's you. I wonder, oh, I wonder why every girl likes me.

It's, uh, yeah, that's back when you were, how old were you there? You were like 51 there. Dude, that's not funny or cool. I'm making a very interesting, uh, funny point. And, uh, look, I'm sun-kissed. Man, that's me a little bit lighter than I am now, too. Don't say your fucking sun-kiss. Oh, man, I really feel like I should take off all my clothes right now to prove how good I look naked.

No, no, my girlfriend will, attest to it. Brian, you've seen me naked. Look at me with my shirt off there. Where? Oh, yeah. That's the old ham fatter one studios. That's in the bottom of my house.

And it looks like Chris has a jar of pickles, and he's just eating something. He does. He does have a jar of pickles. Yeah. That looks like chocolate cake and a jar of pickles. Well, Chris doesn't, Chris's not in the food, you know. Chris's not in the food. Yeah, he is.

No, no, no, no. doesn't eat anything good he doesn't get a nice restaurants or no difference he's at rouse but he eats at fucking different diners vons he's a diner guy well that's where you get a mustard sandwich with a side of turkey that's right which is what he eats he's a mustard sandwich he's a fucking weirdo um we had some good times there uh doing that podcast anyway uh yeah uh yeah i i just kind of feel like oh yeah and then we get gave it to this dude so anyway look here's how i feel i feel like if i don't have anything uh to say and if i don't think that there's a reason to do a fucking podcast it's a hell of a thing to do the

damn to do the damn deal you've been at it forever now yeah because you've been at it straight since before we were doing 10 minute podcast you were dabbling in it um well because shop will beat me up if i miss it if you miss what shop he'll just drag you shop is the most disciplined grinder on the planet I talked to a guy I played football with him and I go Shab when he puts his mind to it

and the guy played pro football for 70 years he was on a radio show in Denver he goes he's a fucking grinder dude a grinder he's a grinder

you gotta kill that guy yeah and it's like the same thing he looked at me one time we had Connor McGregor on and he looked at me and he said we're just gonna keep doing this

and I go oh and he goes just keep doing and I went when do you think he goes what what there's no end

we're doing this twice a week i got a tv show he goes just make time oh jesus i mean i was like all right that's amazing he's amazing he just that's it well and it takes that kind of shit to do one of these fucking things especially if you're talking as long as you two guys talk which is so long

you know you what you're saying here and i'm sorry to interrupt you what you're saying here through all this bullshit is that you're a pussy because you're like that's my water sir man i'll do whatever I want now. That's my water.

Shut up. Shut up. That's from my tap. Shut up. I drink tap water. If you drink tap water, you got probs. Los Angeles has some of the best tap in the fucking country. Check it out.

That's something you can Google. I'm telling you. How good does that water taste? It's mixed with coffee right now. No, it's not. Well, get here. Wash that out. Do the, yeah.

Fresh L.A. tap. Yeah, whatever. So you're basically saying you're bored and you don't know if you want to do a podcast. That's not what I'm saying at all. That's not what I'm saying. No, no, no, no. I'm saying let's have a real conversation. Say something interesting. Here's, I'm saying let's have a real conversation if we ever do a fucking podcast again. I don't know. I don't know. I like doing all the bits. I like doing all that shit. But I really am looking at people on. I think it would be nice to, to, to, you know, fuck, you know, it's interesting because I just kind of

it really is. I look at all these fucking podcasts and I'm like, what is that one about? What is this one about? It's just people interviewing people. Do you have a take? Is there something interesting to say? So here's what I think. There's a lot of information people want. So just learning, like, you know, how do you navigate a lot of the world?

How do you even know the difference between Elizabeth Warren and what Beto O'Rourke or Donald Trump are saying? I mean, if you really get down. Two of them are Democrats and ones a Republican. Oh, my God. You fucking idiot. And, by the way, what is the difference? But I wouldn't mind having somebody who's really smart, get on a podcast for a half hour, 45 minutes. Talk about that, break it down.

And then you and I, you and I start with some funny. Hey, Ben, listen, before you go any further, we can get Beto O'Rourke pretty soon because he's going to drop out any minute. All right, dude. I hear what you're saying. I hear what you're saying. I know that I know what you're talking about because we've discussed it. Well, I want to make ideas accessible. I want to make, so a lot of times what I think people think is a lot of ideas and education is not for them.

I think it is I need you to focus Yeah I'll focus See you're not a good student So if we're gonna get ideas out there What the fuck did you say? If we're gonna have a guest on Excuse me

I went to the University of Canada So not calling me a bad student Is not a yeah we looked it up You got the American internet here It doesn't work like that This fucking chairs sucks Just like the other one What are you supposed to do?

That? Yes You know how much water I'd cart around What am I supposed to fill two of these? Keep changing the subject. This fucking lid isn't working. Anyway, I don't think that it's necessary to just do stupid bits the whole time. We can have real conversation.

You keep interrupting everything I try to say with bits. You think Elizabeth Warren's going to make it out on the left side of things? I don't know. The point is I want to get somebody in here to break things down for us. So it's more than just smart talk. We get information into people's brains. Who has time to read a book? Nobody. Maybe we get an author on.

Maybe you and I read the book. I don't even have a podcast. I don't even have time to do a podcast. Apparently everybody has that kind of time. I want to get smart people, read books who teach important ideas. I want to get those ideas out of their heads, out of their books, and into people's brains. I want to do dick and fart jokes. We're going to do that too.

You got chocolate and my peanut butter. We're going to mix dick and fart jokes in with intelligent talk. Shut the fuck up, Brian Callan. That's a good name for your friend. fucking podcast. Shut the fuck up, Brian Gallas. First of all,

I'll do whatever the fuck I feel like, okay? First of all, don't say we're going to do anything. You're not the Brendan Schaub

to my Brian Callen. You don't look at me side-eyed like and say, we're going to keep doing this because I'll smack you. You just went into that chimp pose again.

Natural leader. I'm a natural leader, right? What the fuck have you ever led? Naturally dominant. This is a fucking disaster. You do that one more time. I'm going to fucking get out of my car at my seat.

You do that. You're going to get out of your car seat? No. No. Did you just say, I'm going to get out of my car. I'm going to get out of my seat? No. You're a ninkum poop. Say one smart thing right now. Say one fucking smart thing. I don't have to. All you have to do is rewind and listen to what I've said to this point.

Some of the smartest conversation that's ever happened on the fighter or the kid. That's not true. Fighter or the kid. Say, fighter and the kid. Fighter and the kid. Fighter or the kid. I'll kick you off my podcast. The fucking fighter's not even here right now.

Say one thing that's not boring. You tune in, you could catch the fighter or the kid. Say one smart thing. Okay. I'll say one smart thing. Give the young people something to hook into instead of candy. All you do is dish fucking candy. Say one nutritious thing.

Okay. Here comes a nutritious thought. Candy mouth. Here comes a nutritious thought. Go ahead, candy. You want me to say, you want me to? Yeah, I'm tired of candy. to a deep. I can't live

on hard candy. All I have is hard candy. The only reason I'm not running is because if I join the greenies, that'll take votes away from the Democrats. All right. Well, maybe I could run with a Democrat. Well, what does that mean, Jesse? But that, but they would

never do that. Governor, what are you saying? Well, I'm just saying perhaps I could run with someone who's already in the Democratic field. That's how you take out Trump. And he's a friend of mine. He's a friend of yours. I'm quite fond of Donald. I don't share some of his policies. You know

that. I live in the Baja six months out of the year. Well, I like that you would run against him because you're taller, you're bigger and stronger. I'm taller. He couldn't bully you. As you know, I have a thousand gallons of potable water and a silo full of tortillas. I didn't know that. Down in the Baja.

I didn't know that. I now own over 300 dogs. Most of them are little dogs, terriers. Why do you own dogs. Because I surround myself with dogs and corn and guns. Okay. And that's my platform. That will be one of my

policies. Which is what? Seven ears of corn, two guns and three small dogs. For everyone? For everyone. Seven years of corn. Seven years, not years. Sorry, dude. How much seven years of corn would cost? That would bankrupt the country

faster than the Green New Deal. But I feel like seven years of corn. or the national debt. How much, how much corn in an ear? Each ear of corn is an ear of corn. Right. So that would be, that would be.

See, you don't understand your corn. You probably never served in the military. You've never had to shuck corn in the mess hall. That's the difference between you and I. Okay, but what is I? You call yourself an American. I was a Navy SEAL. How long can you hold your breath underwater?

me i can hold no the the the idiotic steampunk grandfather clock behind you i can hold my breath for probably two minutes i can hold my breath for 17 minutes that seems like a world record i don't know if that's true well why are you calling me a liar i'm not calling you a liar i probably think that tower seven uh fell because it was compromised during uh the nine eleven terror attacks i don't want to get into that it fell on its own. Okay. Minutes later. Yeah, I know that.

Would you like to run for president with me? Me? I don't know anybody who could get me started. I just keep asking people to rally around me. I don't know the first thing about running for president. Well, you ran for governor. You were governor. Yeah, I kind of forgot most of that.

CGE. Oh, shit. And et cetera. Yeah. Too many chair shots to the head. Yeah, you're a big fella. So what do you say? Ventura Call in 2020.

I don't think so. I don't have the time. Why not? I'm just not interested in being. Oh, what are you doing? What are you busy? I don't think that we could win, Jesse. Why wouldn't we win?

Because I'm a comedian. I've got skeletons in my closet, and then they would find out what a piece of shit I am. Yeah, but you'd only be the vice president. I know, but. Yeah, just be like Pence. Never go out for dinner with a woman. Okay. That's all you have to do is the vice president.

Right. Stand there. You know, we'll pay. Put you in some shoes with lifts in them. Yeah. So you get close to me. I'm six foot four. Uh-huh.

And then we'll run against the Donald. He's a friend of mine. Okay. He'll tell us how to beat him. All right. Have, do we have that tape on Donald Trump? The piss tape, Brian? Yeah, well, he doesn't exist yet.

Oh, okay. All right. I just thought we had it. I just thought we had tape on Donald Trump talking about thanking you for his vote. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Wait. You mean this, Donald Trump?

Hi, I'm Donald Trump. That's a terrible. I got my dick sucked in the level office. That's a fucking, that's Bill Clinton saying he's Donald Trump. I'm Donald Trump. I'm my wife Michelle. Yeah, pretty good, right? I can do any president, everybody.

Go ahead. Fuck, man. Barack Obama. No, no, no, no. I already did that. Go like old, though. Old. Real old.

George Washington? I'm George Washington I will not tell a lie And that's exactly what he sounds like You can listen to Abe Lincoln said that didn't You could listen to Andrew Jackson's podcast He had uh he had uh

George Washington on I'm on a stabe Pretty good right I guess so man So uh you still having fun podcasting No No Why do you do this?

I don't know dude because I Fuck man Because I want to fucking spend money. I like drinking wine. Oh, you're coming from the right place. I'd save a lot of money if I stopped drinking wine. I'd save a lot of money.

How much money? Oh, my God. I'm known to spend money on wine. Because I'll look at a wine and they go, you got to get this because it's from 2007. Will? Will? Well? Fuck.

That's what I mean, Brian. We can't talk about fucking wine if we have a podcast. You got bad sleep apnea. The worst. So before I die, let's do a podcast. Before I go, a Jesse Ventura, 17 minutes without breathing while I'm in bed. I got ideas for us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't need to talk about that. We need to talk to your people. We need to entertain your people. Well, what do you want to talk about? I don't know. What the fuck do you want to talk about? And why did you know what?

Here's what we're going to do. What? Fuck it. You want to have interesting people on the fucking show? Interview me. There you go. All right. Yeah.

Hey, there's you. Brian can roll with that. Here it goes. All right. And make it good. All right. Don't be a fucking motherfucker about this. All right.

Before I do, don't you fuck me. Did you spend that money? Don't make a fuck out of me. What was that? If you spend the money, I'll give you more money. Don't make a fuck out of me. All right.

All right, I won't. Okay, interview me. I'm going to interview. Seriously. Before I do. Do it good. Before I do. Don't do an ad now.

Don't forget to come see me at Ray and Brahe and Bravo. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, October 24, 25th, 26th. Jesus. Why don't you get a set? So might even come down and do a set. Yeah, I'll do a set of stand-up comedy. Bram prog. Hey, what's going on with that Donald Trump?

How about that hair? Has anybody perhaps is a hair or should. Can I interview you? Yeah. All right. My next guest. No, just, we've already, okay, just go. I'm not walking in or anything.

What? It's be like, hey, okay, so we're here. we're doing the podcast no not our next like i'm sitting here i'm doing the podcast with you hey man it's good to be here dude good to we're just talking my next guest oh jesus john goodman okay i don't i'm not doing that i don't know how to do my next guest is will sasso um you guys know him or a lot of you don't know him because he does obscure shows in canada but will um why acting um well you know i the colors that I paint in are human colors, Brian.

And I just, from a very young age, I realized that the screen was the most vibrant palette. Were you loved as a child? No, no, no. You're a good interviewer. Were your parents present?

No, actually. Oh, you want to talk about my parents? Yeah. I love my parents. I just saw them. All right. Yeah, we were all hanging out a few years. You're a mama's boy. That's not my words. That's your friends. You know, you're a mama's boy. I'm Italian.

Yeah. Are you going to, are you going to suggest to me that I don't love my mother? No, no, no, no, yeah, yeah. She's soup. No, no, no, no, she doesn't make me food. No, no, she doesn't clean me. Probably.

A little bit. No, hold on a second. Watch your mouth. You're only half Italian. You don't get to talk to me like that. I'm asking you simple questions. I'm an Italian person. Does your mom?

We love our mother. Does she or does she not? What are you? Half Scottish? My mother's 100% Sicilian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm Italian. What's Big Mike?

He's Irish, bro. He's Irish. You got a problem with that. Brian Callan. Yeah, you got a problem with that. You're a big man, Brian Collin. That's Scottish. That's Scottish.

William, I'm your Uncle Argyle. That's Irish, right? I'm your uncle Argyle. It's... It's... It's... That's... That's...

That's... He... He... He... God. It's... Scottish, dude. You're the worst with geography.

I hate bagpipes when they're played, when they're not played, but they're played through someone's mouth. Yeah. Now, does your mom, or does she not wake you up with cinnamon toast and does she not clean behind your ears? Hey, you want to know something for real?

You want to know a real thing? Yeah. This goes right in line with what I was talking about earlier with regard to losing a great deal of weight. When my mom couldn't get me out of bed in the morning every once in a while, you know, when I was like a child in elementary school. Yeah.

We were just talking about this. Occasionally she would just get, just make toast with butter. Uh-huh. And just put it under my face. And like, and like, like, the cartoon, like Bugs Bunny floating down the hallway, because there's like the,

you know, the delicious, you know, fumes of a fucking turkey dinner or something. Hey, you know, that's how we show our love, Italians. You know, manj, manja. she'd make you bread with butter and you would that's how you'd toast with butter yeah i'm sure you're familiar with it it's fucking delicious it's impossible to fuck up toast with butter is some of the most i brought my little son a very special loaf of french bread from whole foods that he loves yeah it's this organic soft as fuck

loaf yeah and i brought it to him because i knew he would that he would i would cut him a couple of big slices put a bunch of fucking pasture raised butter on that shit and he whoops that down. Yeah. And it gives me great joy to watch my eight-year-old eat that bread because I know how good it is. And you know what, Brian? What?

I think there's a theme that's happening here and it's very clear to see, bread and butter. You see what I mean? Yeah. And what we need is we need that podcast that's just like bread and butter. It's just like home cooking. It's not pretentious, like your expensive fucking wine

or even that bullshit. I almost reached across and slapped you while you were talking about, like, who gives a fuck organic bread and pasture or unpastriced? Pasture raised. Pasture raised. Yeah, pasture raised. So the, what butter isn't pasture raised?

Excuse me. Excuse me? No, don't. No, no. Okay. I said pardon. Because a cow. Yeah.

The cow lives on a pasture. Yeah. Not enough. Fuck. feed lot. It doesn't, because you're a factory farm piece of shit. Same shit.

You know what you are? Shhh. Okay. Oh, geez, we found something he's passionate about. Cows. Yeah, good. Cows. He's passionate about...

I get my milk, my cheese. He's passionate about that one book and this. Butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Raised on... You eat cows that are raised on corn. That's fine. We already mentioned that.

Yeah, yeah. On ears of corn. That's right. Not even the... corn, just the cobs. And they're not, and they're ruminants. They're not, they're not corn eaters. But you're a piece of shit, right?

Let me tell you something. I, I eat cows raised on. What? Well, then natural diet, which is what? Which is grass, which is grass fed. Yeah, yeah. Let me tell you something. You know how I like, you know how, what I can taste in steak?

And I don't care if it's a, if it's a $100, you know, 50 day-aged, dry-age steak. I'll spend money on the day. In a fantastic restaurant or, you know, if it's in the middle of a cheap burger. Yeah, or some bathhouse. Yeah. Here's the flavor that I like. I want to know that that cow has been clanging down a long metal hallway before getting beheaded. Okay, you're beheaded.

on its way to my plate. Just like Brian the beheaded cow That's what I want to taste the terror I want to taste the confusion I want all that delicious Confused What? But I was just

I don't know anything I stand in this pen next to F beheaded cow beheaded cow farms that's what I'd like to start I want to start a beef outfit called beheaded cow

farms our cow comes to your plate without a head because fuck cows pasture raised fucking butter you'd call it fuck cows butter fuck cows butter

fuck cow's butter man give me that hey check the look what we made out of your tip milk asshole butter fuck cows fuck cows bovine

tit milk creamery butter made by scared confused cows yeah that's so mean dude I like my cows to be happy right before death and then you and then I'm a dairy cows

right and then you fed this to your child I swear to God I'm not making this up this woman had she was a dairy cow farmer she had names for all her cows and the cows got mad cow and the government came in and shot all of them and she was so distraught

and she said yes I knew all of them by names and they were my children and the guy who was interviewed who goes like this I swear to God he goes did you watch did you watch he did that like he was like why the fuck would he ask you that

he was so insensitive I was so angry he goes did you watch and she goes oh no I couldn't Watch. Oh, that's fucked up. And he goes, oh, thank you very much for talking to us. Gang. And I was like, that's fucking great.

You are a fucking horrible person. Did you watch? They put all her cows to death. And then my buddy told me that when they slaughtered a cow, they did it in view of a bull. And the bull was going crazy. And I never forgot that story. That bull was trying to protect its cow. You don't kill cows in front of a bull because the bull's trying to protect his cows.

Yeah, that is kind of fucked up. Hey, man, you know what? Cows have feelings. too. Yeah, us romp and stomping homo sapiens do a lot of fucked up things to animals. Yeah, we do. But making one watch the other die so we can eat it is a little unnecessary. Well, pigs, pigs have heart attacks when they see the other pigs being killed. I didn't know that. Heart attacks? Yeah, so what they do is, yes, what they do is they haven't come around a shoot apnea. I remember that fun bit from a blue. But no, they haven't, that's why they,

they haven't come around a curved shoot, so they don't know what's coming on. But it used to be they would see their, their brethren being killed and they would freak out and knew what was going to happen. So some of that shit is awful because they're not dumb. They're not dumb. I think, and, you know, I don't like that. And I don't like the pigs are crated. Here's something we're unqualified to talk about.

But hey, it's a podcast and everyone is just fucking sharing shit like they know what the fuck. Have I prefaced this enough by saying I don't know what I'm saying? Go on. But here's my thing. I love meat. It's great. I've taken time off of it before.

I did two years of just pescatarian. Really? Yeah, yeah, which is just, you know, fish and vegetables. I did that for two years once. That's the longest that I've done that. I'll do it for... Do you grow a pussy? I'm sorry, sir.

What was that, Brian? Sorry, nothing. Keep going. Yeah, but you did, you shared some sort of joke, and then you laughed super and securely like... Did you pump your fist? Well, it's just pretty cool. Okay, well, anyway, I was eating seafood and vegetables. mostly.

Yeah, do you start wearing dresses? One more time, please? What was that? Nothing, man. Keep going. Keep going. It's all good. It's all good.

Yeah, what were you saying? I avoided most bottom feeders. Shrimp is probably a little too fatty. Things like clams and oysters, I didn't have much. Mostly white fish. What often do you get your period? Excuse me, Brian? What?

Did you? What? Did you make some sort of... No, what were you saying? No. Is that some of that bro humor saying I have a period? I'm just talking out loud. What are you talking about? I was just telling you about my eating habits because you wanted to have a real... You said you were having... You lived on...

Yeah, but you, but then you said something... You said... I heard you say pussy, dress, and period. I heard you say that. Huh? I heard you say... What? Pussy.

Yeah. dress and period as in menstruation okay I don't know what do you mean I don't know

I'm talking well if you want to have a real conversation I'm having a real conversation and other times I actually just you know went vegetarian

for a little while but I felt like did you wear a rose in your hair you have ribbons you know what dude what

what what whoa hey hey hey no no don't do it don't do it well don't do it oh hey oh hey oh hey no no not feel the new belly bottle man it's good it's funny it's really funny who makes these jeans that's my penis no I'm asking a question there was my penis you touched

Brian sends me Chris Dalia and Marshall Cook pictures of his penis We've seen that I've seen pictures Actually one of the funniest things you've done On text One of the more daring video

Can I don't know if I can't Yeah you can't One day Brian When day Brian sends a text Chris and our other pal Marshall Cook and he's like, hey guys, what's up? I'm in Minnesota, probably where you're doing because you're always in Minnesota.

No. No, it's a wonderful place. Say Brea, because that's where I'll be this weekend. I'm in Brea. I'm in a hotel room in Brea, which I wouldn't be in a hotel room because I live nearby. So your suggestion doesn't work.

He was in a hotel room, and he's like, hey guys, I'm just, I'm on the road and rah, rah, rah, and I just wanted to tell you, oh, geez, guys, there's a rat in here. There's a rat. And it's like a selfie video and it's shaking around.

He's like, I got it. I got it. Okay, I got it. No, I got it. And, like, I was really like, what? Where is this going? And he's like, I got it.

Yeah, see, I got you. I got you a little. And then he takes the camera and he pans down. And he has his, his bits, his squeezed hard, huh? Twisted around your fingers and knuckles. He just grabbed a handful of his self, both thing, all of the stuff. And he had it wrapped up and twisted red. He's like, I got you.

Just a, just a fleshy pink to red Handful. And that was very funny, Brian. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. I have eaten pescatarian before. Yeah. And I love meat, right?

It's terrific stuff. I fucking love it. And I love pig. I love pork. Yep. But I am starting to feel shitty about the animals that I'm eating. it's a little bit like is the more we learn just how bad it is for the fucking okay

you want to see this is what I'm talking about with the podcast we're not going to get into this topic because we don't know enough about it no hey Google what it's doing to the earth okay great go away come back and now here we are what would be great is just some of that plant meat that these fucking get in there you know and make more of this fake chub meat that's just well they're always going to make meat without a central nervous system

right so they are going to grow they're going to grow meat that's going to be the best meat you can get in labs. And I think that'll be the future. And it's a little bit like this. I was talking to my buddy Jimmy about this. The more we learn, I love the game of football. I love the game of football. But the more we learn

about what it does to the brain. Sure. And the more we learn about just what it does to your body and all that we get it. And the conversation is the juice worth to squeeze. Absolutely in some cases. Does everybody get CTD? No. CTV? The Canadian broadcaster, CTV.

But as we learn more, as we learn more about what it could do to your developing brain? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would imagine as we, in 20 years, young kids signing up for football will not be what it is today. I'll tell you, I played football all, you know, all the way growing up, rah, rah, rah. And I don't think I would let my kids play football. Yeah, and I know a lot of pro football players who say that. Yeah. And their kids are built for football.

Yeah. And they're like, nah, not. Soccer and basketball He can start running into people maybe Yeah But it's not a good idea As you learn more It's difficult to kind of go

There might be other sport That's all I'm saying It's an amazing sport Sure It's a fucking America's better for it But I do understand how It can sour you a little bit

No and yeah No I hear you I love football But it's interesting I think about the pee wee shit Like pee wee football I used to play There's this one kid

Who this kid Anyway it doesn't matter But he had his He had a small His head was smaller they just didn't have like a good helmet for him and I just remember the helmet rattling around on his fucking head

and then him getting just crunched up by me and some of the other fat kids or whatever and like literally being like oh and we were bummed because this is our buddy yeah but you know and I'm like a big you know I'm a big fucking kid I'm going to be playing football and it's going to be fine you know

because I'm a big kid but this kid he shouldn't even be fucking playing the sport it's a weird thing so yeah sorry you were talking about concussed cows no you weren't um uh yeah it's like all the all the shit that that is you know that's stuff that we're sort of rethinking now and football is actually a really good example i'm a big i've always been a big football fan but i gotta tell you past it's been three years now haven't really been watching much of that yeah that's what i mean what i got into yeah i'm and i don't

i can't exactly pinpoint meaning what it is i don't know exactly what it is look a lot of times football and i'll just say it it's more about the social gathering it is like Because my buddies were coming over for years watching football. But it's also such a great game, a game of inches and all that. Yeah, but when you see guys crush each other, it was like, oh, yeah, crush them. Now you go like this. You go, oh, he fucking hit. But damn, that was a real hit.

And that rattled his brain. Now you know that there's damage being done to those incredible athletes. And you go, man, you might have to pay for that. Oh, our brains aren't anchored like that of a woodpecker or a ram or a fucking rhino. Having said that, though, you look at how big. Some guys are just built. to run into people. Mark Sanchez was out here. I met him through Brennan a couple days ago.

The quarterback? Yeah. And, you know, Mark Sanchez was a quarterback. And when I met him, I went, I looked at him next to Brennan and I went, you're roughly the same size as Brendan. And I go, what do you weigh? Because when I looked on TV, I thought, oh, Mark's just this good looking, 2001 pound, you know, six foot two. Well, he's every bit of 6'3 and he's about 240. Right.

And I went, oh, you're just big everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're a quarterback who looked regular size. He looks regular size there. Yeah, but, and compared to... And that's a quarterback. And compared to those other dudes, like, just what? Oh, you're 6'8 and your 380 pounds at under 20% body fat.

You can run the 40-yard dash and a half fat. Right. Oh, you'll kill someone. Oh, you'll kill someone. Oh, and you have a fucking bowling ball in your head that you can, run into other people like it's fucking it's pretty fucked up yes so yeah football's uh hey did we get that c tv logo up there we had it yeah but that c tv logo was i wasn't even looking at it's gone no don't put it up there yeah c tv oh man don't do canadian television but too bad he's not good

looking and really nice guy either the ct there we are that's what that's what you get when you play too much football fuck off you get c tv i was wondering what that was so yeah football might not be a good idea eating uh you know buttloads of steak might not be a good idea and i can't wait until farms are and hopefully everyone can continue to work at what they do uh what they do well oh who am i kidding everyone will be out of work and it'll all be you know well we we all have like when you talk about factory farming people go bad on it i talked to my my father-in-law um who was saying um he goes he he's been in the food business this whole life and i was like we need to go back to family farms and he said yeah not really because then what would happen is you'd get factory

farms and i said what are you mean he goes because some families do it better than other families? And also, do you like, do you like paying for eggs and knowing that they're going to be roughly $369 a dozen? Or do you like going to the store one day and having them be $369 and then going to the store two days later and having them be $13? Do you, what do you like about that? I go, what?

And he goes, so the reason that you can rely on milk and eggs and protein and grains being always the same price is because we are able to. produce them in mass quantities. So you'd have a family that was super efficient. And you'd have another farm over there that just didn't know how to do it right. Like in everything in life, some people are better, more industrious, more strategic, smarter about

things, more talented at farming, than that family over there for a thousand reasons. And that family over there, they'd go like this. Hey, you, you guys suck at making eggs. We make really good eggs, but I can use that land. How about I buy your land? Right. And take that over. And then there'd be another

family over there. And they'd go, let's just buy their land too and they will give them an offer they can't refuse and pretty soon you have craft right right so yeah so much of this is just you know a lot of the capitalist system this will happen over and over again if you want to feed a lot of people you want to get you have to get food into a lot of people's stomach so people die right and the way you do that cheaply is sometimes you have to you have to do it in a massive scale in a very unorganic way yeah and that's just the way If you can figure out a better way to do it, go ahead. Look, yeah, we'd have, and I say this knowing that a lot of people don't have enough food to eat.

And I also say this is a fat guy. But we, you know, many more people would starve if we didn't have the means to mass produce food, of course. Technology. All I'm saying is, you know, when does, you know, when do we go like, okay, this beef? Like, I'm going to buy the fucking beef. And I'll buy the new shitty beef. Yeah. Like those Beyond burgers?

yeah those things are fucking fantastic i've never had one oh they're really good i i'm squeamish about them no because they don't seem like they're good for you what what's in them beats it's plant protein it's like plant it's like plants that lead yeah can we look at the end we look at it a few times i would love i i i'll eat the fucking you know uh beef raised in matrix like fucking pods yeah uh where it's just like a a gigantic fucking building with all of them you know uh so it's it's water people Keep protein, isolate, expeller pressed canola oil, refined coconut oil, rice protein, and other natural oil.

It's a lot of, it's a lot of bullshit. It's very processed. Yeah, it's very processed. I mean, so I'm, or I'll just eat a living out. Press canola oil scares me. Yeah. That sounds like it's not going to come apart in your arteries. That might make my severe sleep apnea worse.

Maybe. Severe. Are you doing anything about your apnea? Hey, for real, though, I think I have sleep apnea. And you know why I know this. Why? Because I wake up, I go to sleep in my bed with my girlfriend next to me. And when I wake up, she's in another room.

I love your girlfriend. She's a wonderful person. And she, because she can't sleep through it. So I, I, you need to get that machine, Bubba. Yeah, I got, I got to, I got to get it. Because my dad uses it. Yeah. And, uh, you like it?

It's a game changer because he's got bad sleep out. Yeah, I got, she has no word of a lie has said to me, like, you didn't breathe for 30 seconds. And then I started shaking you. I think I have a little sleep after me. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're a fat fuck.

Nope. I got a fixed strong American back. And it's taken me a long time to get up the bravery to say that. Because you're always, because you like to, oh, no, no. No. No. And you're a fat fuck. No.

Yeah. But you're a fat fuck. No. You need to lose weight. Don't. You know what would be the fastest way to lose weight. Don't do you. Headed cow.

We'll lose that 38 pound head of yours. Fuck you, man. It's so big. And it's full of so much shit. No. That nobody needs to hear. What? You know what I mean?

So I think you need to rethink having a podcast if you're going to have nothing to say. So you have something to say. Get your finger. Don't touch me. I just happen to be pointing at you. I just happen to be pointing at you. No, you're not. I'm just pointing at you, dude.

Don't touch me. I'm just trying to make a point. Don't touch my person. Okay, but I'm not even looking. Yeah, but I'm not even looking at you. Don't fucking touch. I'm just trying to make a point. I'm keeping my finger.

If my finger happens to me, that's a violation. I'm not tucking your fucking figure. I'm just trying to make a fucking point. If my finger happens to touch your fucking finger, it's because I'm making a point. And my point is I'm trying to drive it home. I'm just trying to, I'll fucking drive it home. I fucking tell you right now.

I'm just trying to say that. My fucking finger is only, what? You fucking out. I knew you were fucking, I knew you fucking, I knew. Yeah, I knew you fucking blot. Oh, you're farting. Oh, shit. Oh, God.

Oh. The chair. Fuck, you're such a coward. You're such a farting coward, dude. You're such a farting coward. That's not bad. Oh, man. That skunk, it's skunk defense is terrible.

I can't eat nothing but bees, dude. Mongolian beef, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Bro. Bro, that's sad. Oh, guys, I'm sorry. Bro. Chin? Come back.

Fuck. I'm sorry, man. Man. Fucking embarrassing. Sorry. God damn it. Sorry. I just want to...

Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I just want to be brave. You're not. Not. And it's okay. I want to get... I got to get brave.

I don't think you can. I don't think you can. You're a born... You're a born... You're a born coward. It's not going to fit. Will... I'm on my fingers.

Lose your wrist. Got to learn how you... Then I got frustrated. Why are you not learning how you use your fingers? I don't want to use my fingers, Brian. Everyone's born with that. Some world born with. Now I'm, you don't mind.

I'm going to put my bottle in the drink holder. fine just wrap your fingers around the fucking bottle dude I'm holding it my way well let me do some things my way

all right I'm sorry that I outed you as a don't coward I'm just going to put me there you go just leave it oh you're getting so it's on my fault

it's on my fault hmm hmm hmm All right, let's take a breather. We started with some silences, and let's... Let's breathe. Do we have any current events?

Yeah, we got some. Are you good? Let's go to those. All right. First one. You know what the bottom line is? Sometimes you need someone to talk to who knows what you're going through. or at least knows how to help you navigate that crazy maze that is your brain.

Because all of us sometimes feel lost, desperate sometimes, full of self-doubt, maybe even suicidal. And that's just a reality of the world. So your friends sometimes don't have to help you. Your friends are like, you get over it, go lift. You know, that's what I don't know how to have. I'm not a licensed professional. But BetterHelp is something that helps you with this.

You don't have to go to a therapist. You can do this online. You can start communicating under 24 hours. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's a professional counseling service done securely online. There's a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp's counselor network. And so you can really go there and see what's going on.

You can log on to your account anytime and send a message to your counselor at any time. You can get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus, you can schedule a weekly video or phone session so you won't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room. For some reason, chin is laughing so hard right now, and I don't know why. But visit betterhelp.com slash fighter and join the over 500,000 people taking charge of their mental health

with the help of an experienced professional. Fighter and a kid listeners, get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com. You work on your body, work on your mind. So a lot of times the best way to lose weight. I've noticed people come to me, fans come up to me after the show and stuff, and they're like, I lost 50 pounds, 60 pounds. I've been doing the keto diet because they listen to Big Brown. And one of the reasons that the keto diet is so effective is because your body is basically

running on fatty acids, not glucose. So you eat, you know, fat, protein, you should have some fiber, I guess. I don't know the whole keto program. But how do you know when you're in ketosis? How do you know you're actually burning fatty acids and not glucose? Well, there's the keto, K-E-Y-T-O breath sensor and Keto Premium.

This is the most accurate, consistent, and first-ever user-friendly Bluetooth breathalizer, an app for sustainable, healthy, low-carb, and keto eating. So you don't have to use a urine strip or take your blood, which nobody's going to do. Now you can just breathe into a thing

to see if you are in ketosis. $99 a month, I'm sorry, $99, not a month. $99 provides keto-level readings as well and access to Qaeda's upcoming food products within the app for only $8 a month. Users can subscribe to Keto Premium for access to videos, articles, recipes, restaurant guides, even. It's pretty crazy. So follow the heart-healthy keto program.

Keto Premium also unlocks the Keto Code. A searchable database for food and recipes that allows users to quickly determine in items compatibility with the keto program. So, go to get keto.com slash phyto. That's G-E-T-K-E-Y-T-O.com slash Fido. The Keto app is available for both Android and Apple iPhones. Just search the app store for K-E-Y-V-O. Jen is laughing so hard.

Fighter. Enter promo code, Fider for 20% off your first purchase. Get Keto. com slash fighter put in promo code fighter for 20% off your first purchase okay so a woman in china went to go get um eyelid surgery she wanted the uh double lid look and she paid $1,800 for it she came out of the surgery and said that she didn't like the way it looked and so the doctor said oh we're sorry you're not satisfied with what we did we'll give you another surgery on the house to fix it shortly after her original surgery.

surgery, they went and did the second, and they botched it again. And so now she can't completely close her eyelids. And she has to roll her eyes and look as far back as possible to sleep. But she got a refund in about five grams. Take a look at that picture, though, everybody. Ready? This is only for people who listen to the latter part of the 10-minute podcast with all the wrestling references.

Ready? Here, check this out. You ready? This will be fun. Rest. In peace. Right, Brian? Now, you know what that is, right?

Yeah. You know that that's The Undertaker when he rolls his eyes back in his head and says, Rest in peace. Hey, Chin, could you bring up some YouTube footage of the Undertaker rolling his eyes back? No, hold on a second, Brian. I've seen it. No, hold on a second, Brian. This is the kind of fun stuff we'll be doing on our podcast when we put that together.

We'll get some bread and some butter, and it'll all be real. Wrestling is real to me. well all right it's real right okay i mean it's something that i i believe is a worthy art form just uh you will rest in peace right there no no no up a bit that's the one you will rest in peace okay so she's that's her and she does a very good undertaking rest in peace well i'm sure that's not helpful for her But, all right. All right.

That's really funny. Now I'm going to put that on the internet. Okay. She had botched eye surgery? Yeah. Boxed eye surgery. Rest in peace. Because the Undertaker, right, Brian?

You know the Undertaker, right? It's wrestling. You like wrestling? No. It's a wrestling. Yeah, it's wrestling. Like real wrestling, you know. Yep, real wrestling.

That's not really. With the Undertaker. It's not real wrestling, though. Okay. All right, that was fun. So, uh, so that sucks. Hey, that sucks. Is that what happens with the current events?

I don't know what you do. I don't know how to fix that, but I, I would sue them for everything. What are they going to do? I'll tell you what they're going to do. They're going to have to grow like, you know, they're going to have to take her earlobes off. Did she get the kind of eyelid surgery that I want? Um, no. I don't think so.

I think the one you want, you want to take a little more off the skin. I want to take a little skin off. The droopy skin? Yeah, I'm taking it. Nah, that's good shit. Makes you look like a fighter. I am a fighter. The fighter or the fighter podcast.

Fider. No, you're not fighter. No, I'm a fighter. You hop around a gym mat with guys you pay. You pay them. Hey, I'm a fighter. Here's $100. Jump around with me for an hour so I can punch things.

Well. M fighter. You got my, you know what, you know what kind of, you know what kind of fighter you are? The fighter who has a hundred dollars to give to someone. Grounds coming. Hey, would you hold a bag for me to punch? Yes, I will. How much?

That will be $100. Pull your fucking shoe. Here it is. Pull your shoe. I'm not pulling no fucking shoe, man. Turn the wheel because the wall's coming from. That's me heading right to the ground, like a bomb. I'm not worried.

Pull your shoe. I'm not worried. Pull your shoe. Pull your shoe. I'm telling you. Don't talk me right now. Don't call me a headless cow. Okay, motherfucker.

You got real close that time. Well, she should, yeah, she should go to the next turn of end before I fuck it. Fucking hot. here. He did nothing about the air conditioning in this fucking place. Okay, so with the legalization of marijuana, there's a lot of THC laced candies

happening in gummies. No, I mean, fuck yeah, there are. And police officers are warning parents to be very vigilant this year when having their kids open candy because they don't know who's going to give away lace candy as a joke.

I did not know about this story, but I'll tell you this. you could get that shit into a closed box and nerds, no problem. No problem, right? Yeah. Just drop some of that one-to-one THC, CBD tincture oil in there. Shake it up a little bit.

I took some CBD oil. It didn't do anything for me. You got to take the ship that has some THC in it. Okay. Sorry to have to tell you, you have to do drugs. It's a plant. Well, I only take it once, so maybe I should be a little better. No, yeah.

You just got to take a lot of it, Brian. A lot of it. I've taken some CBD some very strong CBD oils and if you do overdo it you could be a little loogie the next day Let's put it that way

All right, let me see the next fucking All right next one A dumb looking guy was in a newspaper Yes, this dumb looking guy called in a fake bomb threat to LSU when they were playing the University of Florida Because his best friend

put a very large bet on the the game and he was going to lose. That's a good friend. So he called in a false bomb threat to LSU in order to get the game to stop so his friend wouldn't lose the best. That's a loyal motherfucker. Now, that's not a smart idea. It's not a smart idea.

But I like that he's down for his boy to take that bigger risk. I mean, that's a loyal motherfucker. I'd be like, dude, you're my, I mean, he's trying to save his best friend. So I don't approve. Don't do that, of course. But I got to say, that's a fucking dog right there. That's a dog. That's a goddamn

bro, I don't know what I'm going to fucking do I mean, that's a soldier for a friend I'm going to lose man I don't have this kind of money He goes, I'm going to take care of it Dude, I'm going to take care of it Bro, how are you going to take care of it? There's a bomb I put a bomb

That's fucked up So is he going to be facing Quite a bit of jail time He's young Right now he is in the process of getting Very young Which is unfortunate But yeah he's probably going to face a lot of jail time

He's a bad really? He's a bad really? He's 19. Probably. Yeah, you can't make a bomb for it. Give him a pass. No, go on give him a pass. Give him some stuff.

Give him a pass. What are you talking about? Some stuff, but like, he's 19, right? Yeah. See, I'm curious about. How he called in, though. Do you think he just thought that maybe if you star 67 did it, you wouldn't be able to trace the call back to him?

I mean, who knows how he did it. He might have done it. He's young and very impulsive. Obviously, he's not a thoughtful kid. He's 19. He's 19. Two years ago, three years ago, he was 16. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Three years from now, when he gets out of jail, he'll be 22. Lock this stupid fuck up so other people don't fucking do it. And also, look at this fucking blondey, blue-eyed motherfucker with the perfectly rectangle head. You're a fucking racist. Yeah, you fucking are. You're like, hey, you know what? Give the kid a bride.

You know what? Give the kid a break. He's just getting his yaya's up. He's in college, so he calls in a bomb. I don't talk that way. Don't make me out sound like a fuck. He's a good boy. No, he's a fine young man.

You know, he just messed up a little bit. Found his way into some trouble he did. He's Whalen Jennings doing the fucking bumpers on Dukes of Hazard. Well, it looks like them Duke boys won't be heading up that Black Mountain any time soon because they're racist. Black Mountain is just a name for it. Look, I just thank you. Not to them Duke boys. Their names is Duke.

And they have a fucking Confederate flag on the roof of their car. That is true. You figure it out. That's true. He's just a good boy calling in a bomb threat to a building full of 100,000 people. That's all just some good old college fun. Good old college fun. Shithead.

Go to jail, you fucking idiot. Jesus, you're so neat. Fuck you too. This is what I'm talking about, man. Man. I want to do a real podcast, like wrestling real, man. I don't want to do wrestling real. Like Undertaker, you know what I'm saying?

Brett the hitman heart. You know, wrestling. Good. Shout out to Kyle O'Reilly in the undisputed era. All right. We know this. All right, dude.

Fucking Brian. I'm not, don't fucking Brian. Shut. I'm not talking to be quiet now and a half ago. You just fucking leave. I would like to fight you. Were you guys fans of a...

Here's another fucking... Here's another dude's bugshot. Yeah. What's this guy? He seems happy. Were you guys fans of Superbad? The movie Superbad? Do you guys even watch it?

No. I actually never saw the guy. Oh, no. I have a great film. I didn't see the whole thing. I was probably in it. I don't even know. I've been so many.

Brian, you weren't in. I don't have to track of everything. Well, there's a guy, there's a character named Mcloven. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, called McLevin. Well, this guy was actually at a bar and got IDed. He was underage, and he had an ID that said McLeaven on it. That's great. He got a McLevin ID, just like in the, all right, well.

It was, and in the movie, it was Hawaii, wasn't it? Yeah, it was Hawaii. Fictitious ID. No, but I'm saying, he had a Hawaii ID, which is. Should be given the blood. death sentence. Should he be killed too? Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that crime wasn't on a curve, Brian.

All right, dude. Everything is just everything. You just dole out the same amount of fucking, you dole out the same amount of punishment for everything. Yeah, because I would you, right? Because I'm a Marxist. What was that? What? What did you say? You said you were Marxist. No, say my friend Mark. Are you a

fucking pinko? My friend Marks. Yeah, you're a fucking, I knew it. I knew it. But you know, you know why, Brian? You know why? I would feel the same way if I were you that all crimes should be punishable with the with the with the same repercussions yeah you know why why you're sour you're upset yeah you feel that you've been unjustly prosecuted and you know why that is why because you're a headed cow so um just bring me to the next current event okay there's there's not so Seth Rogen responded

though yes he did and he what did he say something cool about it actor you're the guy you think he's better than fucking Daniel and Day Lewis he just says my work here's done no I do not think that you think he's better than fucking yeah well I mean I just feel that if he had a chance at the material like in the name of the father in my left foot that perhaps he triumph in rolls like that my work here is done he says that's great

hey see hey Hollywood people a good baby everybody's out there you know just give him a little nod of the cab of the tweet that's what I like to Do I peruse the Twitter for stories that I might find an interesting or could even relate to me in some way? And I just retweet them and I go, hey, here's looking at you, Internet. I've got a podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you think we should call our podcast? The Sad Cow Podcast. I'm not calling it that. The terrorized cow. It's fuck cows. Fuck cows butter. Let's just call the podcast. Fuck cow.

butter. And then people just be like, what is that? Miss Creamy? And no one will listen to it. All right. Is that it, man? If you want it to be. Come see me at the Prey Improv, October 24, 25, 26. Will Sassel will probably come down there and hold my fucking water. I'm busy.

And then October 27th, we got I got a charity at the Comedy Store. Sunday, you should come and do a little bit there. On which? Or you should talk to David Greco. Maybe David Greco shows up. I do a thing where I dress up as another person and a short set of stand-up comedy. It's called David Greco. I did it on 10-minute podcast.

It's quite fun. Having said that, I've never really done all that much real stand-up comedy. We've had this conversation. And you're boring me. Before, I just kind of feel it. In order for me to share

with people in a very real way that's not predicated on the courtesy of laughter where I just spit out a punchliner, even worse, at some pantomime I'm, like, hitting my leg with the fucking microphone. And everybody fucking laughing. You bought two drinks and you're in here because it's, I'm at a, I'm at the

comedy store. I'm at the laugh factory. How is that any different from your factory? Come see, Brennan. It's a laugh factory. It's a comedy store. That's why we're going to laugh. Because you're going into the comedy store.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. You're going into the laugh. Factory. so we put the P and then what comes out it's a laugh factory all right look you're coming to death

why don't they come together and join and make the laugh comedy store factory and then and then they could have more comedy because this farm would be like we're doing comedy over here and it's better we got Brian Callin we got Chris DeLea and then over there we're like no they don't so then it's like well look you come over here we got these guys

And then no one go, and then comedy store goes, I tell you what? Laugh Factory, we'll buy your fucking comedy club. And they, jump. No, don't see. And they put them together. And then that's how your fucking comedy proliferates. And then finally, there's just some mega fucking Amazon of comedy clubs just called Comedy Place. No.

And it's like the size of a fucking big Kmart. And everyone's in, there's just like a Doppler effect from the back. You can't even, you see the person hitting the mic on their leg. I don't think that's good. And then people are like, should we laugh now? And then like, wait, here it comes. Then you can hear it at the back of the fucking house. Man, I'm telling you, Brian, I'm fucking bored, dude.

All right, dude. You can get me out of this if you fucking want, dude. All right. We can do another podcast if you fucking want, dude. But we're not going to do some fucking retread bullshit where we just fucking interview some guy who knows more about some shit that you and I do. You know what that is? What?

That's just life. That's just a conversation. And now everyone in their fucking mom, I love Dolly Barton, but I saw that Dolly Parton has a podcast. Wait a minute. Her podcast should be called, Why does she have? I love Dolly Parton. Her version of I Will Always Love You is way better.

You know what? I hear she wrote it about her manager because they were growing apart. When you listen to it under those, under those, oh my God. Get your finger out of my face. You'll actually cry. I'm not putting my finger in your face. to put my finger in your face. I'm just trying to make a fucking point.

Everyone in their fucking mama has a fucking podcast mom's boy. You fat fuck mama's boy. And I was trying to be serious. And you started talking about how I'm a chimp suck my own dick. Yeah. And my fingers are my phone. I just said you're trying to dig your fucking in the middle of a conversation. Your hairy chimp digit up your ass and then you.

For two hours. And I don't want to do a podcast where I'm fucking, where I'm, don't you fucking come at me, man. I'll let this podcast with a fucking sky. I'll take my fucking close off. If you want to do a podcast with me, it's got to be like this. It's got to be fucking real. We don't come in with pre-worked-out jokes and shit like that.

We don't do any of that stuff. We just go? No, we fucking come in. We talk real. We have real conversations about the Undertaker, about Brett the Hitman. That's not real. About Kyle O'Reilly. Shout out to the undisputed era.

I don't want to talk about that stuff. Bobby Fish, Robert Strong, Adam Cole, baby. It's not going to work. All right, guys, thanks so much for listening. Whatever. This is the fighter and a kid. We're out.