The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 532 Jo Koy

Episode Date: July 5, 2026

Jo Koy is back and the guys reenact Bryan's cookie eating etiquette and talk Jim Carrey, Chris Farley, Jo's theory on Bryan's forehead wrinkles, Jo's Sam Adams commercial and backstory about his mom and comedy, Brendan and Jo discuss the Original Kings of Comedy and go hard on sneaker head posers and bots, also, Bryan's beef with David Letterman and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not many men. Can we stand my punch? Punch. Obviously. Obviously. For sure. Got a set a hair on them. Black belts and chicken heads. Uh, I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Fight Club. Fight Club.

Mm, kids got a piece on them. Peace on them. Couple one, two cutie pies. I still got it, baby. Lift your shield. And now from the honest. Studios in Pliya, Vista, California. It is the moment you've been waiting for. The fighter and the kid is coming at you live. No, no, we're not live.

That doesn't matter. Sounds better when you say, live. But we're not live. We don't do live, right? And now it's the fighter and the kid. Live. It's not live. This is not live.

It's not live. Hey, Boomer, let's do it. Come on, man. I'm posting right now. Sweet hoodie, brie. That thing is sick, dude. It's multi-colored. Both blue on blue.

Don't be a dick, dude. Don't be a dick, dude. I got to get back to my fucking TV show. I don't have a lot of time. Let's rock and roll. Oh, God. TV show. I got a right to do this.

Yeah, TV show. Yeah, TV show. Let's laugh at them. Why? You have commitments? Yeah, man. Come on, guys. Yeah, I feel you, man.

I got to. You're not doing it. This weekend I got a. You're not doing it. I got 30,000 people to come see me at Chase Arena. You know where the Warriors? That's Steph Curry's? Steph Curry, yeah, it's his arena.

And that's a team with another team to sell out that arena. It's just me in a stool. All right, Joe, that's. And I'm selling out the same. Yeah, yeah. It's not even the playoffs. I know, Joe. So, great.

On a Thursday. Okay, dude. All right. So I get it. Yeah, I get it. I get with the TV show thing. Yeah, you, let's do this. You get to your TV show.

30,000 tickets. Because I have a private jet. In between. So I'm doing Chase the arena on Thursday and then I get on a private jet fly to Seattle. Okay.

And I do another arena and then I get on a private jet and a flight back. Well, that way you know which way the flight pattern. You're showing me the path. It's the flight pattern.

It's the flight pattern. I know, but you're making your hands all creepy with tight like you're knifing them. Yeah. Can we talk about hands? Yeah. So I buy a cookie.

Because I train karate. Oh my God. So I buy a cookie. Please tell me. I buy a cookie. And I go, this is not vegan because the guy sold me and he said this is a vegan cookie. I go

this is not vegan. It's too good to be a vegan cooking. It's got to be buttering it. And then Brian goes, let me try. Sticks his hand. Like, first of all, who grabs anything like this? Like a teenager like this. Like a teenager Ninja Turtle. Yeah. I took my pinky. Like he only has three fingers. You tuck the pinky. You talked to pinky. And grabbed

it, grabbed a piece off. Touched the entire cookie. The entire cookie and then shoved all four fingers in his mouth to the second knuckles. It was disgusting. And then pulled it out. It was disgusting. I had to clean all the chocolate off my finger, dude. What I did was I dragged. And then wiped it off like that.

And I go, I don't want to share any finger food items with you. Well, because I dragged my fingers along the cookie. I started from the very edge of the crust, drag them along, then just to put my mark on it. And then I broke it off. I'm not saying that you, like, I know the joke is that you're,

everyone thinks you're old. That's like the common, but a lot of people Like a lot of people say it. I know you're being a dick. But the way you ate that cookie is old. It's old. That's like how a... That's fair.

Like someone that's in a nursing home. No, that's, you're being shitty. That's not vegan. And then fucking sucks his fingers up. Knuckles deep. Yeah. I did get aggressive with my fingers. I wanted a piece.

You did? Yeah. I did. I don't get it. Look at this. I don't want it now. I stop eating it. Me too.

Look at the camera. All of us. No, not even. You think I'm joking? Look, I stopped beating it. Yeah, you did. I did.

It was, look. Oh, that does look nice stuff. And there's his fingers. Look, one went here. Yeah. One went here. And then one went here. And then you broke it off like that.

But no, he's, and then cramped it in. He fisted. Look, fisted. You can literally see. That's his hand. Am I making that up? Let me see. If this was a CSI investigation, that's his, that's his fucking.

You did it. You're guilty, Your Honor. You know, you know, Tim Meadows told me that... We got a piece. Show them how you did it. Show them how you did it. Just show them how you did it. I go along.

Here, I'll reenact it. Brendan, this is, there's no way this is vegan. I'm going to be normal. Yeah, maybe you'll try it too. I'm going to be normal. Let's let Brian try a piece first. Get your old E.T fingers on it. That's normal.

Oh. That's how he did it. And then how you put it. That's exactly how he did it. That's exactly what he did it. And we just stood there. And you know, That's crazy.

You want to hear the funny part? That's exactly how he did it, right? But he was talking to me as if no one noticed he cramped all his finger in his fucking mouth. I was like, he's talking to me like, yeah, you know, and I really like what, blah, blah, blah. And I go, did you just cram all your fucking fingers in your mouth? No fuck's given either. Was there, Brian? I'm sorry.

It's just, I'll buy you another. I'll still try that. No, it's all good. It's the last one. My fingers and my whistle are very clean. Here, man. Keep everything clean. Not, it's yours, man.

But also when the show's done all. try it. Joe Coy, congrats on all your success. Thank you so much. It's kind of nuts. It's crazy. And I love you.

Thanks to you guys. Well, we do take credit for it. We take credit for it. Seriously. You and I are supposed to go sneaker shopping. Bro. You know what's funny?

This is what annoys me the most, okay? And no disrespect to anyone that's in the shoe game right now. A sneaker head? But I've been a sneaker head since Jump Street, right?

And when I mean Jump Street, I mean the actual fucking show, Jump Street. And, um... 80s. Yeah, man. And like, uh, it's so funny that these little shits come to my show, right? That'll be like 16, 17.

And I'm like, oh, it's so cool. Joe Kweez's a shoe head. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Did you not see... I think I'm gonna make a video and show what I wore, like, my first special. My first special. What did you wear in your first special? Uh, Olympic ones.

Oh, yeah. And then my tonight show. You know, other... Huh? I'm sorry. Go get us coffee. And then watch your head. I want to know what Olympic ones are so.

Exactly. Exactly. Because you're old. I wear blunt stones. Type in Jordan Olympic ones. Go ahead. And then the tonight show I wore patent a leather Air Force ones. Oh, you did it.

Damn. Oh, that's what I wore on my first special. Don't make them angry. All the way over to the left. The original, the OG, right there. Right there. Those are super fresh. That's what I wore right there.

So sick. So sick. I still got them in a box. You know what's interesting now is like the shoe game is so, when I was a kid, we would, when when I was a kid, we would, like any Jordans, the five, sixes, we'd show up at like footlock and wait out. You have to wait in line.

For two, three hours. Really? We had a good chance of getting them. Yeah. Now, now? Now, because, you know, people are getting robbed and shot and their arms taking off and slid their throats for Jordans. So now what they do is it's only on the app. So nothing's in person.

Oh, right. So, but I got to wake up at 7 a.m. at 36 years old, I wake up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday. When I'm on the road, I get on the app and you got to submit to see if you're in the draw. Is that a new thing though? But here's the problem, B, here's the problem. So Sinkerhead's like me and Joe, we're not getting it. These bots and these companies are because they have these, all this, like, programs. Yeah, that just suck it all up because they're flipping them. Wow. I had a friend who was, you know, he ran with a rough crowd and he used, he would sell some stuff for the hell's

angels. And he goes, I see him. And he goes, I don't do, I don't do it anymore, man. He goes, you need some yeasies. I went, what? He goes, yeah, I make the profit off that's more than anything I can do in the drug business. He goes, so I just have a connect to the yeas, I don't know how he's getting him. And I get the surplus, and I just disowns that. He goes, and I flip it from way faster. So how much does he make on yeasies, for example?

Like, $1,000. Depend to which ones. Now there's a lot out there, but certain shoes, like, especially dunks, dunks are like, right now SB dunks are like the hot. What are dunks? Did you see the shoes? Why do you act like this?

Why do you ruin every conversation? No, why? I'm just, you just ruin every conversation. Scroll up for it? Why? You're like my dad. You see those? I want to be cool. The second one's in, the Valentine's Day ones?

Those are dope. Papa just got those. That's cool. I swear you're so annoying. Why? I'm saying they're dope. Those are sick, by the way. Joe, I got to hook you up with my, you're in El Paso.

I don't know what I'm saying, San Antonio. But my boy, Jake does custom shoes for LeBron, Beckham, everybody. He brought me custom, uh, custom supreme ones, low tops. Show him those, Jen Brian, go get us fucking... No, I want to be part of this. Oh, I love some friends.

Are they Jordans? You know what I hate the most? It's like, this would be such a great conversation. Yeah? And you're ruining it. Why, I'm not doing anything. You're ruining it. Go to the library.

You're being old. I'm listening. You're being very old. No, I'm not. I'm saying things like fresh and dope. Those are sick. Oh, there's a sick. So he makes them for Nike.

He makes all the, all the, the, all the, the materials are from where Nike gets their stuff. Oh, really? And just refurbishes the whole thing. Does his own style. Oh, that's so fucking good. I'm really, like, I really

detail. How do they get that dope? That dope design of them? All right, man. You're annoying, bro. Why? Why? Get back on set, bro.

I'm literally just sitting here as an actor, as a working actor, who took some time off. How long? Say the line again. No. How long does it take you to remember your three lines in that show?

First of all, that's a shitty thing to say because I'm the star and also I have a photographic memory. Yeah. No one believe that. That's why it's completely quiet. The internet shut down. You know what I realize is that when you're on a set, of course

we all know it's the death of fun in a lot of ways because you're waiting and you do the same thing over and over again. And the only thing you want to do on a TV show or you better have people you can be silly with. Because if you don't, I don't know how people can, like Joaquin Phoenix, how they can just be actors, hold that preparation all day. Not talk to anybody. He wouldn't talk to anybody but the director.

Yeah. Like I know, but for three months, I would go crazy. That's his thing. You won an Oscar. Yeah. That's all he cares about. But there's a difference. There's a difference between actors like you and I can act and have fun.

And then there's actors who become whatever it is that's on that page. And those people, I say, are clinically insane. And they're functional schizophrenics. And I'm not trying to be funny or anything like that. But you can't sit here and act like I want to hang out with Johnny Depp. You can't. Well, how about that? You can't.

I don't want to hang out with a pirate because he will be a pirate. For six fucking months. He will be a pirate. Like, I'm going to go to Foot Locker and he's like, let me get a two. Let me do you one better. So Daniel Day Lewis. Am I right? Yeah.

Let me do you one better. Daniel Day Lewis. Do you remember that movie, my left foot? Yes. Okay, so it's about a painter, Chris Christie's. He's a painter. Bring it up. And he could only use his left foot.

He had cerebral palsy. All right? Now, take a look at him as the actor in this for a second. I just want to because. As the actor? Yeah. Now, now he basically was. A simple jacked.

No, no, no. He had cerebral palsy, but he was normal. And all he could do is paint. He could paint. With his left foot? Yeah. Now, apparently, and he wasn't even a well-known actor at this point. Apparently, and he won an Oscar for it, the fucking guy had people. Well, his foot did. The guy had, yes, the guy, look at him. The guy had people changing him and helping him take a shit and wipe his ass.

Oh, he went full on. He went full on. And he did that for, I don't know how long it took to do the movie, but he did it the whole time. Now look at him right there. No, man. That movie's sick. Well, that's why he's the best. I know. Yeah, go ahead. He's willing to do things others won't do. Yeah. I'm not interested. Go ahead.

I, I, I, if I got that character, when they say cut, I'm going like, oh, fuck this shit, man. I can't do it anywhere. I'm done. I'm done. I need my other foot. Or how about Jim Carrey for the Gritch? Oh. For 12 hours?

I was in that. Had to give that 3 a.m. Did you see? I did it on Matt TV and I was going crazy. But not months and months and months. Well, I only did it for like, I would do it for a week at a time. And you get there at five in the morning and they paint your face and put plastic.

You go crazy. They said he had to have a mental coach. He had to have a mental who talked him into going somewhere else because they would just sit there. It's so uncomfortable. It's so uncomfortable. It's so crazy that you just said that. Did you see the post of him on Instagram? I just saw it yesterday where they asked him about the Grinch how kids come up to him.

This is an old interview. And they're asking him how he got into the character. And he morphed his face with no makeup into the bro. Can you pull it up? And I'm not even joking. That was it right there. I saw it. No, no.

That's it. That's it. Watch this. It's unbelievable. Another parent says, you know who that is? That's the Grinch. And I go,

Oh, shit. That's, Oh, my God. I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming. You know, and bro. God, dude. Was that not the,

that is? Let me see that again. Yeah, watch it again. That's without makeup. He doesn't need makeup. You know who. Look at this. That's the.

Grinch and I go, I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming. No. Bro. Jesus. I'm taking the girl to see. He's an athlete. That's an athlete. That's an athlete.

That's an athlete. That's an alien. He is from another planet and that's why he's Jim Carrey. He's the greatest of all time. He's the greatest of all time. I'm going to take my son to see Sonic the Hedgehog tomorrow. That's the movie he's doing. Oh, is that what he's promoting?

Yeah. He's the bad guy in Sonic. He's amazing. That's who that is? Yeah. I didn't even recognize I saw like the hedgeman Unbelievable

Dude the greatest of all time I'm sorry man He's great Me Myself and Irene One of my favorite movies of all time I think he's astonishing Like my friend Truman Show

Truman Show Me Myself and Irene Is the most underrated movie That he ever did That's where he played three people Yeah And crushed every single one of them Cable guy too

It didn't do well But Ben Stiller wrote it God Apple Guy was so good Jim Carrey was in it It's supposed to be super dark Yeah So the original take of Cable Guy was

dark. He would like kill people and do super dark stuff. And the studio's like, uh-uh, we haven't it. So they had to change it. And that's when like, Stiller and uh, Carrie were like, oh, the thing, this is in what we were doing, man. Yeah. I love that. That movie's, I love that movie. People shit on it, but I know, I know somebody who's to date him and I also know somebody worked with him for a long time. And, and they, they always talk about it. He was always, he's kind of bipolar. He gets depressed and stuff. He always knows somebody. Yeah, I know everybody. Yeah, I know everybody. They're probably on the set waiting for you. Well, I was, I was, I was, the guy, the the person I know is me. I know. I know. I

I'm like very old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was talking to the... We were both going through a phase. And, uh, but he, as a comic and stuff, remember, he, he was like, you know what, I'm really good at doing impressions. Not doing that anymore as a comic. He would destroy, get standing ovations. Not going to do that anymore.

I'm going to try something different. And he was always, when he, apparently with, uh, in living color, always, always fucking around with different characters. Like, he never stopped. Well, you know, at the comedy store, he would go on. He was one of the only guys would go on. And he'd do something new, everything. night and a lot of times he ate dick and some nights he came up with something but

he would just go on and do new shit every single night this was so funny remember him oh my so funny he and Mr. Milo so fucking hilarious so funny oh my god fire marshal bill that's he was great do you remember his stand up I remember when he used to do a T-Rex impersonation and it was just I would die

and Clint Eastwood oh so amazing man so amazing now he paints and just like talk shit about Trump Did Chris Farley ever do stand-up? No, he did. I just saw him in another thing. He fucking makes me laugh.

Tim Meadows was saying he used to do his bit on Saturday and I live where they'd come into a crime scene as two detectives. And they'd look at it and there's a dead body. And Chris Farley are going, oh, fuck. All right. Pull your pants down. Let me suck your cop. And Tim's like, why? Because I think I know what happened here.

Everything he did was hilarious. Oh, man. Oh, my God. My favorite story about Chris is like everyone else. is fighting to get their whatever they wrote to Lauren Michaels. And then Chris would walk in with nothing

but then get all the sketches. Of course. He would just walk in with nothing. He never had anything. But everyone's fighting. Lauren, please look at this. And then Chris just walks in late. And they're like, yeah, let's give it to him.

Yeah, let's give it to him. He said he shared an office with Chris Rock, Sandler and Spade. So all of them would stay up all night riding and he'd come in and just fuck around. Yeah. See in the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, do you ever see him on David Letterman where that one thing he did where he's like, my dad told me, don't make a fool of yourself. Don't make a fool. And he goes, I went to this fat farm and I was dancing. Do, do, do, do, he starts to. I was dying. He goes, well, you are the king. Come on.

He's the fucking king. You know, he's screaming. It was, it was, do you remember this right here? Remember this? Yes. He just starts going crazy because apparently he'd be really nervous backstage. And, you know, and then he would go out and just destroy. Isn't that crazy when someone that town did has, like, anxiety issues or, or, you know, the nervous?

Like, what are you nervous? They said that's why David Letterman stopped doing standout. Hated the nerves of it. Really? Because he was. Every night hated doing it. Wasn't that good. No, but, you know, they went on to be one of the grace of all time.

What happened? You don't have to do that. You don't have to hate on David Leonard. Yeah. Do hate on him. Why? I have my reasons. Why?

I have my reasons. I got to read. I know why. I don't like him. He passed on you. No, I did a show. I did stand up on a show. Don't think he's funny.

Was never a comic. He's good, he's good at being a host. Good at being a host. Watch this. Well, one of the greatest. Not close to,

he's just there for a long time. Not close to Conan O'Brien. Oh, not close. That guy. By the way. Got that guy to go. Snarky. Snarky.

Good. You do it long enough. You're going to be okay. But, no, I got nothing for David Leverman. It wasn't a good comic. How about that? wasn't that's a fact

he was a he was a weatherman yeah and then he became a comic I try to be a comic and then a writer well you know why he stopped doing comedy Jay Leno he saw Jay Leno's like how good he was and he was like a word smith and his grind he's like oh I'm not I'm not gonna do that like I can't compete with that

how the hell do you get the show then isn't that crazy how do you live in the time right place right time good you know what that good at that not bad probably pretty smart hard work he was definitely good He was really good hoaxe. Yeah, I loved watching him.

He caught a zeitgeist. He was, I remember when he became famous, and I remember when he started and why people liked it. It was a time when somehow that fit in. He was sort of Indiana. Do you think Jay Leno's funny? For those hoes, like, that's what, you know. But I like, but do you think Carson was funny? Carson was very good at what he did, right?

He was good, though. Carson was so good. Carson would do, dude, Carson's timing was so impeccable. I think Conan's the best I love Kimmel too I like Kimmel yeah I love Kimmel's outstanding I like Fallon

Fallon's good I like Kimmel I like and I like Oh no fucking no what's his name too The big boy James Gordon James Gordon James Gordon is great too Don't know They do three at the same time

They do like the car karaoke They do skits He's killing it It's a very specific town No one's really watching those shows though No one's watching them anymore Like you're gonna get more eyeballs on this Yeah

100% Fallon or something It's not the same Like I don't want to No hate But burning your material on those shows Aren't like what they used to Remember did you ever do

I did the Tonight show And I'm telling you right now man I did it with Jay Leno And What year? Oh man this is 15 years ago

Yeah So 2004 And I got a I killed it And I didn't know How many people watched it Because I was still working At Nordstrom Rack

I was a shoe salesman So you bring the right foot to me and I go get your left foot in the back yeah and yeah that one and I'm wearing a patent a leather Air Force ones and every single customer was like

dude you were so funny on this tonight show that's no lie and then I got a commercial deal from this set I got a commercial deal from this set I got a I went on this major tour for a cell phone company they were paying me like $3,000 a gig I mean all from this set

and literally changed my life changed my life. I was working at Nordstrom Rack and Borders Books at this time. I was broke and I was able to quit my job. Wow. Jobs. Because of that set right there. That four minutes set.

I did Letterman in 1999. Look at those Air Force. A guy named Dane Cook as part of a new comic series. Oh, well, look at your jeans. Yeah. Were you nervous for the... No, I had this wood in the bag. I wanted to cry backstage too, because Letterman passed on this set.

We sent it to him twice and he passed. He said it was too physical. You're physical. He hated physical. Yeah, he said I was too physical, or whoever was the Booker. And then Ross and Bob saw me do this set at New Faces at Just for Laughs. And they say, save that set. We want to put you on the best night. So we're going to find like the best.

They gave me a Lannis for set and Joaquin Phoenix. And that was, and I got the stand. I remember you back then because we knew each other. And you were killing back then. Like you would get up at the laugh factor and destroy rooms. so it's like yeah and then letterman was like well a lot times not letterman don't be a lot a lot of times it's not it's not but also they have a guy yeah they have a guy but also a lot of times it is there was a thing yeah well he did I that's what they said can I just say this

so can I say this he didn't like I know the bookers I knew his bookers pretty well and they're awesome but they were very very aware of what he liked very, very in tune. He had a style. They were very in tune, so they were very worried about. That's wrong with that, though. You go to Jay Leno? No, they did the great job.

Joe, but before we go on about Brian's pass and, you know, his issue with David Lerman, this is also a guy who doesn't think Brad Pitt's very talented. Oh, see? No, I never said that. I never said that. You did. You did that?

I never said they're not. Did he say that? I said they don't do anything. I've never gone to a movie for those guys. There are other actors I like more. You said you went to a movie with Tom Hanks. No, never did. Tom Hanks.

on the poster never made you want to buy it to get. Tom Hanks is awesome, but that's not why I would go to the movie necessarily, for whatever reason. It's like people like the police and the cars, the great bands. Never, never really spoke. Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt is a movie star, right? He's a movie star. It's just a different thing. And I think he's awesome.

I loved him in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I loved him in seven. In seven, he was great, made him a star. I loved him in the Fight Club. He was awesome. certain roles he's fucking awesome you know anything with his shirt off yes yeah he was great in thelma

louise i'm not saying that he his success is not an accident it's just what i'm saying is that there are other actors as far as just acting who can who become characters what do you say about him though what do you say about Brad Pitt i don't go on Brian Brian shut the fuck up

sorry what did it's okay what did Brian say about Brad he essentially said that he never went to a movie specifically because those men were in the film. And then he started to double down and said, you know what? I don't think he's that good. Yeah.

How about that? You did. And that's what you said. You have to face that, man. That's exactly. You just won an Oscar. Well, yeah, you don't say something like that. Right now?

Well, what I say, though, after I saw once upon a time in Hollywood. You took it back. Yeah. So we're going to take it back right now. Apologize. Say I'm sorry. It's not that I said he's not that good. He's a fucking movie star.

Yeah. And he has magic. Yeah. Charisma. Oh. He checks all boxes. I'm telling you, man. He checks all boxes.

I'm telling you, man. And whatever he does, what I thought was awesome about once upon a time in Hollywood is his ability to be great in silence. Like his timing is impeccable. Of course. I just, in the past, there are other people that I think are better. Yeah. That fight scene between him and Bruce Lee. I loved it.

Everyone was all up in arms about it. It's great. Yeah, but that's, but, okay, this is my take on that movie. my take on that movie is there's a lot of people in this industry that have stories Yes There's a lot of behind the scenes

And they're elaborated and embellished stories So this is once upon a time I lived next to Sharon Tate Yeah And you're not gonna believe it I hung on with the killers a couple times Like it's these bullshit Hollywood stories Once upon

Oh yeah I was on the set with Bruce Lee And you're not gonna believe it man The motherfucker was at the craft table I beat the fuck out of them And there's other actors like, what? Yeah. And that's where, that was my take on that. So, like, I don't know why people were up in arms about it.

I thought it was, I loved that movie. That was the Chuck Zito story who was in Hells Angels who knocked out Jean-Claude Van Dan. And when I was doing Oz, Chuck was on the show. So all of us as actors would be like, tell us a story about when you knocked out Jean-Claude Van Damme. And it would be a story. It was a Hollywood story. Yeah. Now, I don't know exactly what happened.

I don't know what. I believe that Chuck Zeta will punch you in the face. That I'm sure he would. He was president of Hell's Angels. Do you know how many stories I've heard from Jamie Mossada about what's happened upstairs at the Laugh Factory on some big names that I would never, ever say publicly? Really?

Yeah. Yes. Imagine the movie that I could make just off of those stories. You know what I'm talking about. You've heard you've never, have you ever talked to Jamie? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Exactly what you're talking about.

It's not good. No. And I've heard some bad ones. And the funny thing is they're also like other, there's other old school comics that back it. Like, yep. Oh, yeah. And you're just like, what the fuck? Because you know what?

Comics are and should be misfits. And let's be honest. Let's be honest. All of us, you, you and me and everybody we know. At the end of the day are trying to control their misfitness. Yeah. Their misfitness. Yes.

Do you feel like you misfit, Joe? I feel like what it is is we've been blessed with such an amazing job. And our job is to just be ourselves that I don't think we can ever like take real responsibility. Does that make sense? Yeah. I don't like one thing that really annoys me is when someone goes, God, can't you be serious? And I'm like, no. No.

I can't because I make millions of dollars. I make millions. Dude. This week. Millions of fucking dollars. I don't need to be depressed and in my fucking feelings right now. And I've always loved you for that. Yeah.

I've always loved that you, because a lot of comics aren't this way, what I love about you from day fucking one is you celebrate other people's success. Always. You're always positive. Yes. And you're always fucking hilarious. And as I get at 50 fucking three and I'm old and I really say this, you know what my new goal is?

What? I'm not shutting the fuck up. Please. Shutting the fuck up. But I'm not taking myself seriously at all. No more. At all. No.

I don't want to at all. 53. No, dude. It starts to eight. You know what you really need? Fish oil. For the joints, right? What?

Your joint. No. That wasn't the point of one. Is that what you're getting at? No, I opened myself up and now you guys are being dicks about my age. I know you gave me a really nice compliment about how funny I am. And then you went right to your knees and how you don't have time. The time is limited now because you're.

you're on the other side now. The back. You're on the other side. Yeah, you're coming down the hill now. You're coming back night. You spent a lot of time

climbing up that hill, but now you're fucking, you're rolling down. I'm gonna have my day. I'm gonna have my day. You'll have your day, bro, you're going back on a set. Yeah, but I'm not selling

30,000 tickets, so I'm a figure. No, you're not. Well, actually, that's just the two shows in San Francisco. If you add up the whole weekend, it's close to, what did we figure out, Yoda? 60,000.

All right, Joe. I'm trying to sell out the West Palm Beach Improv this weekend. I'll be there for Valentine's Day, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I'm fucking quitting stand-up. Hey, Netflix, give you a special. The thing is about Joe, he's at, I was at the store where I was telling.

You'll be top five comics touring selling tickets. That's crazy. For sure. For sure. 100%. You know, I was so nervous to put the forum on sale. Like, literally I was nervous. I was just like, I don't want to do this.

I was so comfortable with the improvs. and then my team was like, let's just try the forum. And I had this bucket list that I put out last year. It said, forum staples, the DAR, constitutional hall where Eddie Murphy shot delirious.

I saw it. Radio City Music Hall. And I said the Sydney Opera House. And I said, I want to do it before 2020. So we put them all on sale. And they all sold out in minutes. Oh my God.

And it fucking is just like, can you do a commercial for my West Palm Beach? I always promote you, Brian, I love you for that. I always push you. And I think every comic should celebrate other comics, like you said. I agree.

Why wouldn't you? When your special came out, I fucking loved it. I pushed it. I promoted it. And this is before I was even doing this show, by the way. I think, you know what I mean? I love you. You're the best.

Before I was coming on. Dude, I can't believe this, though. 60,000 tickets. Yeah, that one was in the round in Hawaii. I did two of those. That was 20,000. How many does the, is that your nephew there? That's my son.

Oh, that's right. I love that you know your son. How many does the form hold? The form is 13,000. No comps, by the way. It was so funny. They, they, they, and I'm doing back to back.

All right, Joe. Back to back. All right, Joe. It's just 26. Okay, man. 26 and change. Oh, man. What are you doing with your money?

It was so funny, they were like, on your artist holds, Joe, do you want to release them? I was like, I don't know. that many friends. Go ahead and sell them. Joe. We'll get Brian a, we'll get Brian a ticket. No, don't do it. That was crazy.

That's NJ. Pact. Let's see that. And I did that three times. What? I did two on the same night. What the fuck? Look at that. And now Brian Call in your headliner.

How about that? Thanks, you guys. I would love you. Come on. Brian, how many times have I asked you to come do my show? And to be honest. I've asked you so many times to come do my show. You mean that you're standing?

To come on my show to go to go up and perform. I've asked you. I've asked you several times. I'll come. I'll come. I'll come. Let me come do a tight hour. I don't give a fuck.

No, man, that's not what I want from you. Okay. You just said. You just said. I want to keep them there. I want to contain them. Hey.

Hey. Yeah. Because you want to keep. The whole goal. Yeah, man. The whole goal is to keep them in there for a certain amount of time. Give them a fucking show. Yeah.

So you would go in there, three, like salt and pepper, like a little three, four minute, you know, whatever you're your best. No, that's so insulting. Do I fly out myself? And then I, I would fly you. I got a private jet. We got like, like, 10 open seats. But like. So generous.

So definitely. Huh? And what would I do? You want me to do? Yeah, just. Yeah. Be the MC, Brett. Yeah, be the MC.

This is so good. It just got real Hey, I have this dance I feel like crying. Yeah, what song is that? Makes me want to cry just watching that. Yeah, that thing's so dope. I know I joke around, man,

but I pinch myself every day. In an amazing. Let's go spend some money. Let's go spend your money. Let's do it. Now, everything's free. You don't want the price tags. But have you,

what have you done for yourself? What indulgence have you given yourself? Because you're always the same. I don't really tell people what I do with it We have really nice clothes and shit Jewelry You notice his watch, Brian Let me see your watch

You don't want to see it It's a gold roll Man It's what do you have over there This is a submarine So mine's like two of those Dude You gotta stop

You're quietly trying to dominate this I don't know if it is It is It's an adventure 87 Okay good So then yeah The gold is the weight is less Well you're being

You're trying to dominate us And you're doing it in a subtle shitty way dude I'm just Because I'm doing it for comedy. Let's talk watches. But I'm not being real. I don't mean it, but yeah, it is. It's just a

It's a, it's a Those are cool. Dude, it's just a sky dweller for solid gold. Okay, man, see? Let me, let me touch it. It's heavy. It's really heavy. All right. All right, Joe. Because even like, you know that little hand that I think it's called the second hand? Yeah. It's gold.

It's sweet. Okay. You don't know how to touch it. You grabbed it like a fucking cookie. You got it like the cookie. You're going to put it in your mouth? No, I'm not going to put it in my fucking mouth. You hold the face. All right, let me hold the face. Don't be a dick, man. You know what I would do when I get terrible, Joe?

What I would do, if I saw it the form, I would buy a watch to celebrate that. I'd buy a Daytona. You love your watches. Yeah. I have a lot. And I wouldn't wear this. I have a lot of them. Hey, B, you know, I bought this when Finding a Kid 3D went number one on ice.

That's beautiful, by the way. I remember you did. I want that one. Yeah, I love that one. Oh, that looks terrible on Brian. It's just not for you. Let me see. How are you?

You want to get acting or I can help. That's a great watch. I want to help you with your audition. You have a bunch of them? Let's get you. Yeah, I got a lot. Well, I only do Rolex. That's my favorite.

I tell my son they're all for him. It's genuinely, genuinely heavy. Yeah, well, it's the heaviest and biggest one from Rolex. Oh, gold, Brian.

Yeah. Hey, dude. Okay, you don't even know what you're doing. Stop, stop. I don't know how to, you're fucking making me nervous. Stop.

Oh my God. What the fuck, Joe? Give it to, give it to a minute. It knows how to handle shit. I literally just, touching it. I got to lick my fingers. Oh, gold is

good. That is really heavy. Gold tastes fucking good. Can you give it to... Can you give it to... Oh, no. I don't know how to... Grape ape over here. I don't know how to hold that shit. Scratching. Sorry to get my finger mung on it.

I just got spit on my hand from his fingertip. Let me smell at gold. Hey, dude. I'm just joking, by the way. You know that, right? That one, yeah. We're dead serious. Thanks, Joe.

You know what? Here's my camera. Which one's my camera? Which one's mine? That one? The only one. Have you had work done in your face? Because you look tight.

No, no, that's Asian. So like when you have Asian genes, you don't get that many lines across the forehead. Right. So yours is like, like a tree. Like when you cut a tree, you can count the age of the tree. It's so shitty to be on the show.

There's like seven rings. You're being so shitty. Every ring is. 10 years. Sure. Yeah. So that's like, I say it's more like a pack of bacon.

Like a pack of bacon. Yeah. Yeah. Like a pack of bacon. Don't say that about my face, man. I'm wearing makeup. So the lines. Okay.

So you know when you cut a tree. Yes. And you see the rings. I hate this metaphor. You can count how old the tree is by the rings. I know you said. So like when you like raise your eyebrows. No.

Just raise your eyebrows. No. That's a surprise real quick. Like look up with your eyebrows. Go. Just do her. I won't. I want.

Look up. There. Okay. Wow. See that. No, it's not. And I count it. How many did you count?

10? No. Six? What is seven times six? I'm bad at math. It's like 79 or something like. 42. There's the other thing.

So then that's wrong. Yeah, that's wrong. It must be, it's not an exact size. Fine. I'm going to do it again, but don't. I won't. You know me.

Don't be shitty. Oh, we forgot the line in the middle of his eyebrows. Hey. Oh, there's one on each brow. Oh, there it. Yeah, so there's eight. So seven times eight is. Fifty six.

Dude, I'm 50. Holy shit. Holy shit. Am I right? Your head is like dog ears. Each line is like seven years. You can't say my face is a tree and like dog ears. You can't say that.

There's eight lines across your head. No, there's not. Times up by seven. Seven times eight is what? If I get my... Seven times eight is what, Brian? Seven times eight, 56. And how old are you?

I'm 53. Boom. 56. Brian's thing about getting his lids done though. Yeah, I'm going to pull my a lid. Yeah, we've talked about it. I can't see well. I've aged

That's the difference between 49 and 53 That my eyelids You can't see my eyes Yeah It's like he has a visor We're both eyes now And it's from years of boxing sports

Well It's funny It's father time Fucking all that stuff It's fun I still fuck by the way And I fuck I fuck well

Yeah dudes Well who knows But here's my question You still fucking Oh Look at you A blank face

Huh What I was gonna tell you I don't know Oh now you're a prude. Look at you. I don't want to talk about that with you. You just smile. You just swallowed with your mouth open. You went, I'm sure, I'm sure, hey, hey, Pete, I'm sure no girls like the guy who sells 60,000 tickets in two days. Let me ask you a question. Don't, don't fucking betray with a swallow, try to be. Yeah.

Hey, bro. What? You're already fucked up. You're already anticipating. Relax your fucking. You have This makes you I feel like Letterman Just before he's about to do Standup Hey

Take it easy Look at me You're playing with your watch I just want you to ask that question While holding the No you're trying to deflect Hey Joe You're with friends

Yeah Oh you don't You know what you do You fucking Bring up Bring up Joe's Sam Adams commercial That made me cry

That made me cry Can I make you cry? That almost made us. Did it really? We started crying on this. I had to get it together. Oh, man, that's nice. That's my mom, man.

Because you know what was nice, Joe, is you did it for your mom who actually was super considerate and enjoyed it. And then when I did it for Brian, he didn't care. No, I did. I did care. I actually almost. I don't want to. This is my dream come true. That's a view for my house.

Yoda, have you seen this? I'm Joe Coy, stand-up comedian. And I'm here to toast my mom. Oh, you're going to make me cry. Harris. Without her, none of this would have happened. Now is that your house? Yeah. All right, be cool, man. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. Be fucking cool, dude.

That's my pool. Yeah, all right. It's the music that makes you sack. Look at this. No, it's a story that makes me sad. Yeah, you fucking thank me. Ungrateful shit. My mom sacrificed everything to give me the opportunity to live my dream.

And this toast was the best opportunity for me to say thank you. I get your hazeln that eyes out of my fucking face, dude. This is my favorite commercial. I'm not kidding. Are you serious? I swear to God, I swear to ours is not bad. When I said I want to be a comic, her head was like, what? Are you crazy?

That's your pool? Yeah. I know, it looks like a hotel. Is that a four seasons? This is a great commercial. No, we live in a country where dreams are possible and it can happen. Just give me some time. Since day one.

I wanted to make sure that the world could laugh. And when I tell your story on stage, it's something that I'm very proud of. For years, I was like, how am we going to talk about my mom? I didn't want to go up on stage and just be like, oh, I'm Filipino. And Filipinos do this. I take the shape off, though. You're going to be like, oh, my mom does the same shit. I mean, you're doing great, and I'm proud of you.

You wanted me to be a lawyer. Well, we digress. Now I see being a comedian, my goodness. I mean, you're 1,000 percent. cure. Sam Adams, it's grassroots, it's family. What I take from that is the same thing that I got for my mom. And that's why Sam Adams is the best beer for this toast. The reason why I brought you here today is I wanted to toast you. This is hard. Harder than I thought. When you came to this country, it was to give the kids an opportunity that you knew that you would never have. Everywhere I go, people will be yelling your name. And they clap their hand. And I'm sorry. I'm not.

I know it's because of you. So I also want you to know that I'm so proud of you. You see, you started this. You're the reason why I've been able to do this. Thank you for everything you sacrificed. So this is for you. And I love you. Dude.

I can't be doing that. Dude, what the fuck, dude. I can't even take it. I bottom's up. Slow down, lady. Slow down. Lady. You know, that's not the music, too.

You want some more? I mean, you could have put that to fucking... Is that the purest form of love between a son and a mother, though? I can't believe you made it that far. Dude, I can't take that commercial, man. Yeah, you just made me cry. Everybody's crying now. Yeah.

It's by far the most powerful one. The Sam Adam guys said in the office, all of them cried. All of them. It's the music, everything about it. And then they laughed at mine and brines. Whatever. Ours was great, but I look so old. I mean, I'm a tree-faced. I'm a tree-faced.

That's emotional, too. I thought it was great. I loved it, but I can't watch that either. That makes me emotional. But, dude, I don't know. You didn't show it on the thing. We don't do that enough. You and I never do that?

You and I never do that ever? Were you taking the time to just like, you know, thank somebody? If you want me to cry, though, but, you know, if you want me to cry, if I've talked about my brother, my dad, my mom, or my kid, it. Dude. Yeah, that was hard because, like, especially because my mom did not want me to be a comic for so long. She just didn't get it. What an idiot, am I right? Right?

But it's like she's an immigrant mom. She comes from a very hard place. But that's how parents were back. Yeah? Yeah, but we're talking about someone that came from the Philippines. So it's even harder where she came from. And her whole thing was like, I'm going to have kids, but I don't want my kid to be in the position where I was when I was his age.

That's not why I came to America. Yeah. So for me to choose something that, you know, to her is just, just like insane insane what are you doing and then like I remember my son was uh when uh when I just had my son he was like eight months old and she took all this money and gave it to me and she was buy a car your son needs to be in a nice car and she started crying and I was just like oh as I'm working at Nordstrom rack chasing my dream to be a fucking comedian wow you know what I mean and I'm just like god like but I didn't want to like tell her I'm gonna you know I didn't want to say I'm

going to quit. Okay, mom, you're right. Like, just give me some time. It's going to happen. Yeah, that's incredible. It's incredible. You know what's interesting now is like, let's say your son wants to be a comic. It's just, it's obviously you have a different, uh, perspective because you are such a successful comic, but it's just like, even if he wants to be a comic, the chance of making it's not good. No.

Especially growing up when his guy was Joe Koi. How was I when you told me you wanted to be a comic? Yeah. Brennan was like, I want to be a comic and I was like this. He does a joke about it. But I was like, oh. Like my voice got high Oh

Yeah oh well you want it That's what you want it You know it's like Because Yeah Todd Tom Philman tells a story about how when My first set in the belly room How he's sitting next to you

And you're like Man he's so brave But it I mean this is it You know it's it's taken at least 15 years Well I couldn't help but worry I know I know I mean it's like I mean it's like

Some say hate but whatever No No no no I'm just kidding I just I just know the business I just know it I know but that's what I'm saying Like I was talking to Michael Rappport

yesterday because he had this interview I forget what was on Vox or something with Tiley Khalib, I think that's how he says his name but Rapp was talking about how when he was a kid in New York

how he would go to these all black neighborhoods he'd be on his bike and it was like the hood like Brownsville and they would call him a white Mike and he was the only a white kid but like he just learned like that street code and that's how he got was able to talk shit and that's just that's what makes Mike Rapport

Mike Rappaport right he's an amazing dude and I see the interview and I text them on I like do I love the interview a lot of stuff I didn't know about you I said doesn't it bother you your kids will never experience that? I know where you live you know where I live our kids are never going to experience that like the like and I'm not saying gang

membership I'm talking like that street code where like I'd be on my bike you know we'd go to this neighborhood and play pickup ball here or something like yeah kids aren't doing them no they're not you're right I didn't even think about that house we have the hoop there we have the pool you have video games I would say though the way to get out of that maybe is to just like the only thing I would try to do with my kids is to get them to be into something and and then when you try to get really good at anything no and that's what I'm going to talk about be the life experience I'm talking like yeah like streetlights were on and like it'd be a little dicey because I'd be going through this neighborhood or me and my brother you know would beat these guys in basketball and you know that they didn't like that and it's just like this isn't that part of living in L.A. though like in other words because I this way this way

this is why I told my girl. I went, this is why we're not going to, but I said, this is why I consider moving back to Venice because you can get it in Venice a little bit. You got to watch your P's and Q's in Venice. You can go down to have a Kenny, but you go to the border walk on a Saturday, or certain areas in Venice, you got to watch your P's and Q's. You're not getting it. Palsage, you're not getting it.

There's a sense of danger, which I don't want as a father. Yeah. But also, I kind of do want. Do you think... At least a mix up with different people, right? Like, you get, coming into contact, one of the things about New York City is that you can't help but to next to a homeless guy, next to a dude has no money, has a lot of money.

You're around, people are different, right? That's in L.A., though, too. Not the palisage. But you have to negotiate it when you're walking down the street in New York, right? You smell it. You actually are touching it. You're having to contend with it. But in Denver, you know, growing up in Denver,

it was like, I dealt with everyone, man. Predominantly black neighborhood, ride our bikes everywhere. Sports and shoes were the way, you know, stood out from people. It's like, you know. Yeah, I was talking to, I forgot who I was talking to, but I was just like, I remember I was on the road

and I was getting an Uber for my son so he can go to his friend's house. And I was just like, bro, when I was his age, if I went to my friend's house, it was either walk or ride my bike. Yes. I didn't call my mom and arrange a ride. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And that was a very big decision. I remember my friend of me like, yo, get over here. And I'm like, all right. See you in 45 minutes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. my bike through the rain.

But I appreciated it more. Yeah. I'm saying like it was a big deal. We get to my friends. Now they're just, you know, I don't know what you do. I don't know what you do.

I think that there are new challenges for kids in our day and age. Digitally. Yeah. I mean, I think every generation is going to have their own set of issues to negotiate and navigate. And that maybe is no longer relevant, but there'll be something else that forms your character. Also back,

like, like, you know, back then, we weren't aware of all. the dangers. Like the kidnappings and the rapings and people doing the stuff to kids and now you're very aware of it.

So now there's helicopter parents but, you know. So Jonathan Hyde said that that's like that is your chances of a child being abducted are literally so small but we are all terrified of it because it's the unimaginable right and so it was I guess there were some high profile cases

milk cartons had kids on them and it just changed how everybody parented their kids. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Well, yeah, I'd rather, yeah, because you don't want to be that person. It used to be you were allowed to let an 8-year-old, 9-year-old go to the park alone. You are not allowed. That's all. You will get arrested.

I would never. But you know what? Here's the other thing. I would play tennis until midnight. Yeah, dude. At our public park. I can name the park too. Here's another thing.

I can name the park in my childhood park. It's Sprinker Recreation. Yeah, mine's Utah Park. Isn't that crazy? My son does not have a park. We used to play tennis and basketball all night. Summer, we would go until fucking, like, 1 a.m. And we did play with the lights off.

We drink like Coca-Cola. We would be straight, man. We would do heroin. We would do heroin. No. What? You're trying to one-up us now. Hey, I don't know.

Which one's my camera? Well, man, I don't know. Joe, here's the other thing. How old were you guys? Let's see these kids do heroin. Oh, shit. Don't have challenged the kids to do that. That's not a patch.

Oh, fuck. Don't fire the kids. No. No, don't say kids heroin and fight her in the kids. Do a little heroin. Play some basketball and get a little suck. Oh, no. God damn it.

That's not what we're talking about. ruin our brand. Fighter and the kid heavily endorses this message. Watch how I stop. Heroin and dix up. Go find your park. Watch how I stop this. Hey, you fuck, bro? Stopped them in his tracks. Man, you can't,

you can't even swallow right now. I asked you a question. I'm going to ask you again. Do you fuck? You can't even answer it, dude. Man, you might be a phony. 60,000 tickets, my ass. Are you dipping? No, no, that's real, though. You should have seen the deposit I made today.

And that's real tough. And if you want to challenge me on a bet, I'll pull it out. I brought my backpack. No. Just in case. I don't. If you want to go wallet for wallet, if you want to go wallet for wallet. I don't.

Since you were bragging about that goddamn TV set, you got to get to. No, but that's a minute when we were getting coffee. Were you right next to me, Brandon, when he said that? Yeah, he did. He goes, I got to hurry. Let's get this pot out. I got to get to the TV set. And you and I laughed pretty hard.

And we both laughed hard because. We won't think more money to do what we do it, bro. You want to settle a bet? Wallet for wallet. No, that's so gauche. No, I'm just saying, I have an envelope full of money. You can challenge that, or you can go with the deposit slips. I did Sam Tripp for the show last night, and I got fucking cash on me too.

You picked, Brian. Yeah, but I have a lot. Let me borrow some more. Oh, what I said about kids, too, when I left, there was no cell phones. So, my parents didn't think, whatever. Yeah, you go in the park, he's good. You're going to the park? You're going to the park?

You'd be at the park, then we'd come back. Now there's cell phones, tracking them. I think we're better off taking a chance on our kids. I think we're better off taking a chance and letting your kids do stuff on their own and taking that chance at the end of the day. That's the irony of it all. You're better off. You might be doing more harm ironically by cloistering, helicoptering,

and let them play on their own and navigate their own situations. I think there's a difference between helicoptering and then just being like present. Kids aren't allowed to play alone and then settle their own problems either. What happens is kids go on an authority figure now because there's always somebody watching and supervising playtime. and Jonathan Haidt wrote and writes about this is the problem because it used to be kids fucked around

and one kid got bullied yeah and guess what? Figured it out. Well that's certain schools for sure. Yeah. But now it's like it's all being supervised. It's really weird and it's interesting to see where we're headed. Yeah.

Okay, here's my problem with that. Is there a difference like now that this whole bully thing and then there's people supervising but I still feel like the kids are still individuals because my son he ain't part of this whole conversation right now what do you mean whatever just like this whole like this movement this this kid movement

and anti-boy and everyone's supervise him blah blah blah my son is not even in like one I don't even talk to him about that shit and he's got his own opinion about it and makes fun of it maybe right yes yes so like like but on the news but on the news

but his dad's Joe Corey I know but what I'm saying is it's like his dad's Joe Corey but the other thing you got to worry about too is like like when what's especially you guys you guys are older when like when you get bullied at school especially you guys but when you guys got bullied at school you go who who you're something right now you know you're always my favorite I know I'm being you know that and you're being really mean right now mainly him okay mostly him okay cool you went you know you know you know I'm talking about

but when you get bullied in school you go home you and it was like all right I got face that tomorrow whatever one navigate through it but now Now kids are getting bullied. It's 24-7. Yeah. Bullying online, Twitter, Instagram, just toxic shit, all 24-7 for those kids. So it's just a different game, man.

Yeah, that's true. They also have that, did you say Twitter bullying too, or like Instagram bullying? Instagram, yeah. I think his Snapchat bullion. Is there Snapchat bullion? I don't know.

I don't know. My son is on Snap. He's not on Instagram. Oh, really? Yeah. So I don't know if there's comments and shit on Instagram. I don't know. Do they do that on there?

Do they do Snapchat? Bullion? Can you hate on people on Snap? Yeah, I mean, I had a younger cousin who, when she was still in high school, what the popular girls would do was post photos of her onto their Snapchat and then people would start a thread. Damn. Clowning on it and fucked up. Wow.

And you know what those people are called? You know what those people are called? Bitches. I agree. Those are bitches. That's so awful, man. Some real cunt up. Yeah.

Oh, they're cunts. It's social. So girls, they say, are socially way more. aggressive than boys. Oh, absolutely. And so boys are physically aggressive.

They'll punch you in the face. Girls destroy each other socially. They destroy your soul. They're fucking clicking. Yeah, they destroy your soul. My daughter's in middle school. And middle school girls,

their anxiety levels have like, my daughter, thank God is just into what she's into. She does her thing. But I mean, it's really hard for some of those girls. Yeah, I feel sorry.

My son's seven, he's going to be 17 in two months. Fuck. I can't believe I just said that. He's in the thick of it. He's in the thick of it. Yeah. No,

He's cool, though, man. You're bullied? You weren't bullied. You weren't bullied. You weren't bullied. Yeah, no, I wasn't bullied. I was so funny, though. Yeah, you were funny.

I was really, and I was so, like, I was insecure, but my, my humor got me through it. Me too. So I was, I was, I was blessed. I was blessed. I was athletic. You were in athletic. I'm super athletic, really good looking, so I never had any problems. And I was funny.

How crazy. Your hair was thinning, and your face was always old. Because I saw a baby picture. That's an unfair thing to say. I saw a baby picture of your face. Take it back. Well, usually babies have a lot of wrinkles and they go, he'll grow into it because it's loose skin. You've never grown into it.

You still have the wrinkle face. Being such a jerk to me right now. I would stop sunbatting. I don't sunbatting. I would stop sunbatting. I stay out of the sun. I'm on set all day. That's smart.

On the soundstage in front of lights, lights, lights, lights, lights. Lights, lights. Well, this is a... I'm really jealous of your success. Hey, you're being. sarcastic. It was my camera. Stop laughing.

I thought you... Hey! Fuck. I'm so joking. I want to be on a set. You're being a jerk, dude. I'm proud of my fucking TV show. No.

I love your show. It's very funny. Your cast is amazing. Tim, come on. Tim is amazing. Why don't you come? You're amazing. Did you guys rap already, be?

Is this the last week? I got four more episodes. That's dope. Oh, well, you lied to us. You said this was last week. No, no. Why do you lie? That is true.

He did say that. No, I said, you don't know. I was right. I show up on the bandwagon. I remember that. I remember you saying that. And you're like, this is my laugh. Dude, you lie.

I'm not. No. No, listen. No, I just, I mean just the bullshit. Oh, missing it. Yeah. Did you see the, did you have, did you have a favorite movie? Did you like Joker more than Parasite?

Oh, I haven't seen Parasite yet. And you guys are, you guys are going to hate me. Well, I haven't seen Parasite. I have no design. Is that weird? Joaquin is amazing. I can't. Joker?

I couldn't. It's a heavy movie. It's too heavy, man. It's super heavy. I'm sorry, man. Acting phenomenal. Joaquin is amazing. Well, you miss Brian?

Well, you miss Brian? But I loved it. I thought it was a masterpiece. I personally did. But that's just me. It's a masterpiece, but it's heavy. I watch it on the plane. It's hard.

From San Antonio. I was like, oh, this movie's too heavy. I don't know. Yeah, man. It's heavy. Dude, movies are like music. There's genres. You know what I'm saying?

And that's not my genre. Yeah. I can't. There's some people that love that. Do you have a favorite? Bobby Lee loves to cry. Yeah. Bobby Lee loves a movie that makes him cry.

It's like, I cried at fucking Harry Potter. He'll say some dumb shit like that. I'm like, what? Yeah, that's gay. He's like, yeah, do you not understand the story? I'm like, oh, weird. Bobby, what the fuck are you talking? He's amazing.

Bobby's great. He's amazing. He is amazing. I'm so glad he's my. friend like I love Bobby I fucking love what a comic he's the best you're not Bobby's friend unless you've seen his dick eight times that's probably at least eight times and it's exactly how you think it is yeah it's exactly what you think it is very straight very straight pubic hair yeah yeah very straight pubic hair and then you just has that hot girlfriend good for him dude I know

you got a dick blessed you got a joke and you fuck huh and you use it all right you use it Okay? Joe? Joe, come back. Joe? Joe? Joe? Oh.

Did you have the birds of the beast talk with your son? No. No, I got that kid tricking off. He's good. You got him? Yeah. Yeah. My dad's...

But I didn't catch him. Like, Dad. No, you knew what was up? I knew. Yeah. I knew. What's up? What's up?

You want me to tell you how he caught him? Yeah, please. Are you guys ready for this? Yeah. You install a camera? Bro, you're going to fuck even. Which was my camera? Is it the small one or the next one?

By the way, that's Yoda, my camera guy. Shout out to you. And he does all my videos. He doesn't speak a word in English, not a word of English. Yep, he doesn't speak one word of English. Not one word. But we communicate well. Yoda.

A lot of hand gestures, so that's how he understands. He looks super friendly. He's very friendly. Shout out to Yoda. Yeah. You're going to tell you. So that's Yoda. Let me get my hand.

You know what's crazy? Brian is, we were when I introduced him to Yoda, and I go, he doesn't speak any English. And then Brian walks up to me, he looks at me, he goes, how does it work? Like, how does it work? How do you guys communicate? Yeah. You know what Joe said? You know what Joe said?

He kicked the chair. He pushed the chair with his foot. He went, if I want him, I just go. Yeah. And he kicked the chair. That's so disrespectful, dude. You're too rich now. But did he get up?

He did. He did. And bow. I know, but you can't use your foot. No, now you're, now you're, no, don't do it. No, man, that's so. He's getting hip, Brian. No, dude, stop gesturing.

That's so rude. No. Gota, no. Look, Jonah. No. No. No, you don't have to show World Tour. Show World Tour shirt.

Show World Tour shirt. You don't have to do this, dude. You don't have to do this. Fuck, you're being. Oh, that's the other thing. Joe has some of the best merch in the game. Hey, you're being super disrespectful. Oh, wow.

No, he's not your. He's not your. Show date. He's not your goddamn. Show date. To camera. He's not your goddamn robot, man. Oh, fuck.

Joe, that's so rude. Yota, I'm sorry. You don't have to do this. This is America. This is not acceptable. The guy's bowing to him now. Why are you doing, you're doing a karate, pal? Karate.

Do you study karate? Yeah, I studied karate. I didn't know that because that was clearly a fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I study and I know the difference. Yeah. Let me see your fists. We need a Yoda.

Oh, there's a lot of cuts in marks. Dude, you train? Yeah, I train. Secretly? Yeah. Wow. I'll fight, man. What?

As long as there's sharp objects or glass around. And you're down. I'm going to use it. If I come at you. I'm going to use it. Ask a Chicago diner 15 years ago. What happened? So if I come at you, I'll throw something at your fucking face.

But what's crazy is your face is made of leather. No. So it won't cut. No. You don't cut. You've been mean to my face. You don't cut. You don't cut.

I bleed just like everybody else. Yes, I do. I bleed just like everybody else. And I cry. And I You ever try and tear leather in half? Yeah You can't

Impossible That's your face No No That's your face Which was my camera You're being So rude to hit you

Y-Dew Is it the small one? It's the big one It's the big one It's the big one Okay Man wealth has made you Such a jerk dude

Stop it You're mean to him and me I'm jealous of a Yoda though I want my own yoga Dude Do you have a brother No you just go online Yeah he has a bar

And he's not talking to him So it'd be kind of cool To have both of them Have both of them In the same room, they won't even talk to each other. Yeah, tell Yoda I want his brother for a... No, no. God.

Money. God damn it, dude. Please stop doing that to Yoda. He's a human being. He's not you're a fucking servant. Hey, is his brother's name Yogi? God damn it. He's 70ing him to get water. No, Yota, no. No, Yota, you don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. Stop doing that with your hand, Joe. You're fucking so rude. God, I'm so jealous.

Thank you. Throw it Joe, can you tell the jerk-off story, please? Ah, fuck, man. I want my own Yoda, but I'll call him Yoshi. Oh, you can have a Yoshi. That'll be cool. I'm so appalled at this shit.

Are you offended? I'm so offended, right? You know what's crazy about the whole thing? I have a huge heart on. I know. It turns me on, too. I don't know why oppression turns me on. Yoda speaks English, you jerk off.

All right. Come on, man. You really didn't think he spoke English? Yeah. I swear I didn't. Brian honestly thought he did not speak English. I swear to a guy. Because he was looking at me going, I knew it from the...

Oh, this is a very... This guy is from Japan and he's super polite. I didn't know you. I truly did. You thought he was a robot? Wait, hold on. Do you speak English fluently? Yeah, yeah.

God damn. I'm from Japan. Yeah. Okay. He is from Japan. He looks so friendly. Oh, he's so friendly. He's the Swedish.

The most amazing... Samarized. He's the most amazing camera guy in the world. He does all my videos on my Instagram. He's one guy. It looks like multi-camera. It's just him. He's got three cameras.

He runs back and forth. He gets the shots. He comes with everywhere. I take him everywhere. And then you have that DJ too? I have a DJ. That's the other thing. I tell people all the time I was talking with some other.

Oh, in San Antonio with the comics. I'm saying the one thing, well, one of the many things you do well, A, you're marketing, your merch. But the one time I opened for you in Brea, it's a show, man. There's a DJ. I got, I got to come. You know, like, when you come out, it's like, you know, stand up and kind of boring. Like, he's like fucking, it's a show.

West Palm Beach, they're already screaming. Brendan killed, by the way. I want you to know that. I'm going to come out. You killed that shit. I told you, man. Just get on stage. I'm coming.

I'm coming. Do you put heat in front of you? Yeah. You promise? You mean good comments? Like a, not good. Great. Oh, you know what I do?

Do not put fucking buffers in front of you. I take young, really talented. people with a lot of potential. I don't take somebody who, and the guys who... No, you got to put fucking bangers in front of it. I always do. Leo Flowers, eight years in the game. Yeah.

Crushes? Yes. Stevie Blue Eyes crushed all the time. Now my boy Mollick B, who's young and fucking people love it. No one does it like Rogan, though. You want to talk about bringing killers? Like legit? I would always bring killers.

I don't care. Bees comics. I bring beasts. Yeah, but that's how you should. Chris DeLea used to open for me. That's right. This kid now, Eric, Schwartz kills for me.

He's great. Eric will get like Stanley O's in front of me. And then I look at him and go, all right, I'm going to make sure they forget your name. And then I walk out like, like, can I fucking. All right, man, take it easy. No, I do. All right. Where's my camera?

Oh, man. But that's what you got to do. I learned that from Cedric the Entertainer. I opened for, did I tell you this story? No. I opened for Cedric the entertainer. And this was like, this was like 15 years ago. And I had my son.

I remember the Indian Reservation wouldn't let my son on. And Cetric was like, just let him on, man. Like, just let him in. because they were like strict. Can't have kids on the property. Yeah, because I had a baby. It's a casino.

And I'm just big. I had nowhere to go. Like, I got my kid. You know what I mean? So he gets him to come in. Let's him in. And I go up and I do my fuck in.

I do my tonight show set, bro. I'm doing all those fucking bangers. Just bah, blah, like 15 jokes compact into like, like, I think he gave me like 10 minutes. Yeah.

I got them all in there, man. Just bangers. Bears. Good night. Pah! 3,000 people. They're jumping up. I'm walking off stage. In my head, I'm like,

you ain't gonna be able to fall. You're like, good luck, bro. Yeah. No, I'm being serious. You're not going to fall on that shit. And I look to my left, and Cedric's got his goddamn fedora on, matching outfit.

You know what I mean? And he's bouncing. He's looking at me. He's like, that's wrong. Talk about Joe Koi. Make me work for that fucking money tonight. Let's go. And he shook my hand and walked past me.

And I'm like, what the fuck? just had that confidence. Because I would have never said, I would have been like, fuck this show. Yeah. And it was done. I swear to go. It's always been my, it's always been my philosophy.

And every time I hear about a comic who has like some shitty comic, I'm like, that guy's fucking doesn't have any confidence. Yeah. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. What are the softball lob? You don't really hear about people having shitty comics for openers. Yeah, you do.

I do. I mean, I mean, nowadays, I don't know about it. I don't know. No, you got to, if you don't. And it's not. to your audience either. Like you're going to charge all that money. You've got to give them a good show.

You've got to show them like, one, you're the headliner. So like you make sure that whoever's in front of you crushes and then you show everybody what a headliner does. Well, I've always said that 20% of the audience, if 20% of the audience is saying, ah, the feature should have been the headliner, you're doing your job. Like, that's a great show. Yeah. I mean, I remember Mike Young.

None of them say that for me. All of them say 100% you are the headliner. Yeah, they're not confused. I'm making a point show. Did you even have someone open? Like, they'll say that. I'm making a point. No, I know.

I know. But I'm just saying, like, for me, no. They usually go, holy shit, did even, was there anybody else on this show? We don't want to see.

Completely forgot. I don't believe that said, I heard the story about Cedric the Entertainer when they did that, the Kings of Comedy Tour. Yeah. So was Cedric,

Steve Harvey. By the way, you're, this is crazy. Are we on the same wavelength right now? Like, I'm not even joking with you because the Jim Carrey reference,

I literally, just saw that yesterday, that Grinch thing. And then this Kings of Comedy, you can look at my Netflix, cute. I just watched it the other day. Two days ago. Am I lying, Yoda? Two days ago, we watched it. He's never seen it before. And I was just like,

I could not believe Steve was the fucking host. Did you, but that was it? Fucking he blew the roof off that bitch. And then Dio went up and fucking slate it. But you know, Bernie Mac at the time, he was going to, like,

coast and the opener. Yeah. They did one show. And they were like, everyone were like, oh, fuck. Yeah, you need to be the headliner. So, D.L. Hugie wasn't in the originals.

There was another guy. And when they went somewhere, the guy complained he didn't have, I forget who it is. The people find out. Really? So they had three limos, and he didn't have his own.

He looks at Steve Harvey, who organized everything. And he was like, yo, man, where the fuck's my car? See what, excuse me? He was, where the fuck's my car? He goes, cool story, dude. They did that show.

they kicked him off. Which guys is? And brought in Bernie? Wait, who was it? Who got? I don't know the comic. But they kicked because he was. You're kidding me.

But the first night, Bernie goes on. You know what that? Can I? And crush, like, harder than all of them. They all had in the, in the locker room that night, we're like, so Bernie's going last from now on. And everyone's like, yeah, yeah. Of course.

Cedric. No problem. Harvey. Awesome. On the height of the Chitlin circuit. Like, like, no one knew who the fuck Bernie was. This guy was doing. He was even.

doing improv. This dude was literally doing the underground circuit. So for him to come out swinging like that is just, my favorite part of that whole thing is I like the mini-docs that they put in between each act. And the one with Bernie, when he literally looked at the camera, he goes, it's my turn, motherfuckers.

They already got shows. I knew the show. Give me a fucking show. Man, not only did he get a show. He got the movies. He got everything. What people forget, too, is Bernie at the time when they got done with Kings of Comedy Tour, those other guys are pretty set, but fucking Bernie here? Bro, Ocean's 11?

Well, Ocean's 12. Oh, Cedric was on Mark Merritt. And he goes, what people don't realize is Bernie couldn't go anywhere. Like, he was like Chappelle at what Chappelle is now. Bernie Mac back then, his tickets would sell out in two minutes. He had that disease that makes your lungs cement. If I don't pee now, I'm going to die. Oh, really?

you pussy. Do we go to Bray? No, keep going. No, you and I kind of connect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're actually, it's actually probably better. The fighter and the coy. That's right.

But yeah. Fighter and the K. Well, there's a K already there. Can you record that? Can you record that? I want this documented. There's already a K. So the fighter and the koi.

Kind of flows. Go to your set, bro. Which one's my camera? Which one's the camera, bro? Yeah, but they said Bernie Mac, man, after that just. Unbelievable. Couldn't go anywhere.

He was basically what Chappelle is now back then. Because Cedric was saying, like, people forget. Like, he had a set, he had a seven-minute set that he did for TV before he got on. And Cedric said the best stand-up he's ever heard in his life. He said, no, like, he would do it all over and nobody wanted to follow him. Oh, shit. Just such a monster, man. But Steve Harvey was the brains behind all this.

Oh, yeah. It showed, too. He's a boss, man. Dude, I'm telling you, though, that opening set, I was like, what? in the fuck. I remember looking at Yoda. I go Yoda. I go, D.L.'s got to follow that.

Yep. He's got to follow that. I saw D.L. Hughley at one of my favorite restaurants. Yeah. Sit by himself. Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

Well, I finally got to do D.L. show, and I just, I paid homage to the man. And I told him how much money I saved up just to watch him perform at the Aladdin Theater. Yeah. When I was living in Vegas. How I was addicted to. Comic View and how it was my dream to be on that show. Oh, wow. And the way I got Comic View was crazy.

I was working at the Dolphin Habitat, and I found out that Comic View was actually in Vegas doing a show, and I asked my manager if I can get off, and I literally went home, put my suit on, and had a fake, that's me right there. And had a fake, no, that's Apollo. That's Comic View. And then put that very suit right there is the one I put on.

Jesus. And I went to the event where, where Comic View was, went to the security guard, when has the security guard ever helped anybody? And I go, hey, I'm a comic, and I just want to try and get up. Is there any way I can talk to the promoter? And he went and got the promoter. Oh, what a good dude.

Yeah, so he went and got the promoter. Her name's Yvette Anderson. Big shout to Bo P. and Yvette Anderson. She came to the door. She goes, we already got our show set. You know, I wish I would have known about you, but the next time we come back to Vegas, we'll put you on, right? Wow.

So I was like, all right, it's all good. There was a huge line to get in. I was talking about how I got Comic View and there was a huge light to get in and she looked at him and she goes, do you still want to watch the show? I go, fuck yeah. You got to remember it's like 1995 or some shit. I can't remember when. 96, yeah, that's me. And then

she let me in, right? And it's packed. It's packed. And all the comics are late. Duh. Right? And she looked at it and everyone in the crowd's going crazy. Like, they're pissed because it's like it's 45 minutes late. It's supposed to start at 8. It's like almost 9.

And she goes, do you want to go up? And I remember she had this big ass camera. It was a Canon GL. It was maroon and white. I knew what that camera was because I always wanted. It was like a $5,000 camera. I always wanted that camera. And I go, if I go, can you please record it with that camera?

Because I wanted to use it as tape. And she goes, oh, yeah, got it. And she set it up for me. And I went up. I still have the video. And I went up. I get a standing O. Fuck, dude.

And then Bo P. and her were on the side of the stage. And Bo P goes, we're going to put you on Comic Feet. And that's literally how I got it. I was working at the Dolphin Habitat. Fuck, man. And I remember going to work the next day. The Dolphin Habitat? I was running at the Dolphin Habitat as a tour guide.

As in Dolphins. Yeah, I was a tour guide. And one of the tour guides goes, Comic View is here. Because I was such a Comic View fan. I was such a DiO. Hugley fan and Cedric fan. And I was like, what? And I literally asked my manager if I can go home. and I literally walked up to the door

with a fake resume and I handed it to the security guard and that's how I got on that show. You feel like you're getting closer to what you want? Yeah. And I literally... You don't even understand.

Brian, this is how much I was doing it maybe six years. Yeah. Maybe six years. And you're doing, you're doing mics. No, and Vegas didn't have comedy clothes back there.

No, you're doing mics. So I was doing literally like coffee houses and shit. Yeah. So, wherever you can. The big club back then was a big movie theater. Dude, it's such a grind. It's such a grind. Yeah.

Like back then, before you could even get an audience. No. You don't understand. It was such a grind. Like just, just, just waiting. There was no comedy,

all the comedy clubs were closing across the country. Do you remember the comedy store? I mean, Comedy Central was basically, it was a good thing because everyone got to see, get exposure for comics, but it was a bad thing

because no one was going to the comedy clubs anymore because now they're watching stand-up on Comedy Central. Remember? There'd be 12 people in the original room. It was nobody. The main room is always empty. Nobody was in the main room. Nobody was in there.

And the original room have 12 people in it and we'd be doing it was always such a job dude I you know what was on my resume when I handed it to the to the promoter it said I opened for Bruce

baby man baby man bomb do you know him Bruce Baum remember him and Vic Dunlup those are my bro and she let me in and literally I got Comic View and they flew me out

two weeks later I was on Comic View and where was Comic View filmed at it was in the at the Commerce Casino I think like somewhere here in L.A that's Bruce Baby Man Bonn.

And how did your set go on Comic View? I got a standing O. I got a standing O. You worked at the dolphin habitat. Do you have secret knowledge of dolphins? I know a lot. I know a lot. Here's what I...

I know a lot. This is what I used to do. There's 12 of them in that habitat. Well, I don't know how many of there are now. And, you know, I take them underneath, right? And there's a bunch of windows. And then people ask questions. But you have to name them.

So I go, that scooter. I would name the real names, by the way. That's Scooter, that's Banjo. And you know them. You knew them. Alicia, whatever. And then at the end of my tour, they go, which one's Alicia? And I would just point at any gray one.

Because I didn't fucking know the difference. No. Now, were they unhappy or you couldn't tell? Okay, so they told us that the rate marks are natural behavior. That they always play fight and bite each other on the tail. These fucking dolphins. Looked like they were in knife fights 24-7. There were fucking rake marks all over the body.

Just scratches every. Each other. Each other. They would just fight all the time. And it wasn't until I, you know, got older and started watching about mammals and watching, you know, about dolphins and whale. These are family members that are stripped from their families and brought to another family and put into a house which is just some dude. So there's a dude and a chick. Oh, my God.

just looking at each other swimming and like live and yeah live but and by the way they're mammals so they hate each other yes one still looking for their parents dolphins war against each other they wore their pods war against yeah they're if it's two dudes they'll fuck each other man no they they're they're they they were so aggressive in that pool and you would always have to say oh they always play fight they weren't play fight they're they hated each other wow it's just like you know what I mean it's it's not a natural pot well it's like it's like a dolphin and mole of it's like it's like a dolphin and of America. It's so fucked up, dude.

They're mammals. I'm so against it now that I learned. I never thought about it until Blackfish. I'm so against it. But then you see it, okay, I kind of get it. And you hear them crying. When else am I going to see this? Yeah, it's sad, man.

It's really, really sad. Flipper. I've got 15 minutes kids before I have to go back to act and I thought we'd do some current events. Let's do it. I'm not doing the reads by myself, dude. Quick. I'm sorry.

Before you guys do this, can I ask Brian a serious question? and don't get mad at me? Don't be shitting. Have I been? Yes. Very much so. Worst of all time. Now, be nice.

What were you going to ask me? I'm just going to ask you. Okay. Have you memorized your line? The one line? Joe, that's a shitty. You're being a dick and you're fake sucking that right now. Oh, man, you're being so mean to Arigato.

Don't be that way. I want one so bad. Oh, they're cheap. They're cheap. I thought you said, I thought you were going to say, dolphin. That would be kind of cool. I want my own Yoshi.

His name is Yoda. He was faithful to his name. That's not his real fucking name. It is Yoda. It's Yoda, dude. Let me speak to him in his own tongue.

Don't. Oh, well that's racist. That's a cancel. Wow. Oh, but you can do it because you have these two. I speak some Japanese. Watch this.

Speak. This is a Kangi Oh. Shiro. My That's Korean. That's Korean. That's

Korean. That's Korean. Way more Korean. No, that is, that is Japanese watch. Ike de, Shiro, Bagaro. I have no idea what you. Really? Yeah.

That's a swear. It's very racist. What is Bagaro? Bakaero. Oh, how? Bakaero. Bakaero. That's not what you said.

That's a swear word, right? Yeah. And then what about? Hara. Please stop. Hara. Shiro? Hara.

I have old. Here, say it and I'll all translate. Go. Fuck, I thought that I was speaking. Just speak Japanese and I'll do the voiceover. I am old. You can play face.

Eight lines equals. You're kidding. 90 years old. It's like when you get an Asian tattoo, you think it means like life? And they're like, no, that means fucking dolphin. I thought I was, I heard that in a samurai movie and so I've been doing that.

Oh, wow. Oh, Jesus. I've read a lot of Japanese literature. I'll have you know. I've read a lot of Japanese. I read a lot of Japanese authors unlike these fucking two. This is... Name one.

This is a racist kind of name one. Oh, dude, I read a bunch of Japanese books. Well, I read all of Yukiyomi Shima's books. I read Bananas books. What the fuck is this? Banana. You just listened off the most famous Japanese authors. No, I read it.

You read bananas books? Yeah. I went through a phase where I read a lot of Japanese. Give us current events. Let's say more than all of the show is getting canceled. Okay. This was submitted by Jesus. There's a clip of a stripper falling down from a 15-foot pole that went viral.

I'm going to show you guys the clip. Have you seen this? I hope she's not hurt. Oh! Let's go back real quick. Oh, shit. Get it, girl? Boom!

Bro. And she still got up. She's bad. Finishes her set. Fractured her jaw. Fractured and broke teeth. She broke a couple of teeth. I love her.

She ended up having to have surgery because her jaw was fucked up. She's a bad ass. Yeah, she's badass. I love her. Well done. 20 feet she fell, correct? It was a 15-foot pole, but it's estimated around. Why would they have a strip club with a 20-foot pole?

Who does that? How did she do it? Oh, was it just? How did? I think she just did something wrong within her routine and then she fell. You know, a good point. I think there was something very wrong with that routine. Very wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very wrong. A 15-foot pole in a strip club. First of all, no disrespect. She's a badass, okay? I love her. God bless her. God bless you. I'm glad she's healthy.

When you're looking at pussy popping, you don't see it from 15 feet up. So let's just bring the polls down. Look at her right. Don't see it from it. Good thing she didn't fall on that girl below. Bro. Break that net. Bro.

She came hard, dude. And she landed on her face, man. She's a badass. The show must go on is what I always say, 100%. The show must go on. 100% He's down, dude

What else you got? You know what's crazy? She made no tips on that one too. No one threw money. No one threw money. I would have made that shit rain that night. I would have.

She did break character. She did break. No, she didn't break character? She went back up and started twerking. Not fast enough. That's true. She was concussed though. But then her teeth were all fucked up.

Yeah. That makes my bone or so. Okay. So there have been a bunch of videos going around where people are doing this broom challenge. Somebody said it was rumored that NASA released a statement saying that on a specific day,

any broom that you would try to stand up straight would stay because of like the earth is... It's a tilt. The rotation is in a very specific place where brooms will stand up straight, which was clearly bullshit. But then these videos ended up going viral and now people are just trying to make their...

NASA is definitely not going to stand. So NASA said, today is the day the only day that your broom can stand up on its own and watch this no strings nothing no that's crazy well the earth is flat

what Joe how do you know that uh triple E and uh Eddie Bravo well that it's true duh I believe it how are these people doing it

they're just trying to find the balancing point that's it but this went viral and then a bunch of people said that it didn't work on their broom because they had the little Asian ones. Like it doesn't, you know what I mean? And we're bashing Asians on this. You've been ordering him around. You've been calling him Yoshi.

No, no, I want to be Yoshi. At least I'm the only one who speaks the language here. No. Bonanas? Banana. What hell is his last name? Those are those one of those great writers. Great writer.

Great Japanese right. You don't remember his name though, you know. I read a lot of jazz. I'm going to go out on a limb and say his name is not bananas. I've also been to Nifon. Sorry, Japan. Well, this doesn't validate what you did to my first. friend Yoda over there.

Yeah. That's Yoda. When you're pretending that's not a Japanese. Do you want to hear his real name? Do you want to hear his real name?

Let's see who can say your real name the right way with the perfect accent. It's Steve. You fucking racist. You fucking... Let's see you're a piece of shit. Dude.

Yeah, you want to see who can say his fucking Steve, you dick. Yoda's his fucking nickname because he's a star Star Wars fanatic. All right. God. Damn.

So Steve. Yeah. It's short for Steve. I'm glad you're not you can all say it. You're not pronouncing as well. Steve.

I'm glad we're seeing your true color. Yeah, man. No. Sorry, Steve. Holy shit. Sorry, Steve. What else got you?

Light the cross on fire. Jesus Christ. So the Rock's eldest daughter has officially signed onto WWE and this makes her officially the first person

to be in the fourth generation of like a wrestling family. Really? Mm-hmm. So the great-grandfather. Yeah, but there's so many wrestling families.

The hearts? All of them, man. Roads. Flair? His daughter is a champ. She's the fourth one, though. I think there have been a little... Oh, I see what you're saying.

Okay, my bad. My bad. Four generation. Okay. But she's the fourth generation. I'm stupid. I'm slow. I'm slow.

That's dope. Have you ever seen her mom? Have you seen Rock's... ex-wife Simone? Nope. Nope. Definitely takes the same supplements

as the Rock. Oh. She's jacked. Are you saying this? Really? She's jacked. Jack City. Has, uh,

the Rock always been good looking? Son of a bitch. Yes. Yes. The guy's 50 what now? No, he's younger than 47. No, he can't be younger than that. He's younger.

He's 50, right? I think he's in his 50s. No. He looks phenomenal, man. like phenomenal. There she is. Oh, my Lord. That's his ex.

Oh, and that's with my boy, Phil Heath. But that's his ex. Do I? Okay. That's a strong guy. That's a strong woman. That's impressive. Who's that guy?

Phil Heath. He used to be Mr. Olympia. Oh, that's him? From Denver. Oh, he's from Seattle originally. Stop. Yeah, I played at you dumb. Great guy.

He played it to you. Sorry. Either way, he's from Seattle. But yeah, that's the Rock. ex-wife. Damn, she's yo. She manages him now, too.

Manages the Rock? Yeah. Oh, you know what else she manages? She ended up being his manager. Yeah, no doubt. So they're still best friends. Yeah, pretty close. Pretty cool, right?

Very good terms. That's really cool. I know. Isn't that great? God bless him. God bless him. All right, man. Dude, not a good.

Not a good way to get him on the show. You're saying the Rock is not natural. You're saying the rock's not natural? It's a good looking good looking group there. I don't think the rock. I think the rock is natural all the way. 100%. Oh, chin?

100%. What else you got? All right. Let's move on to... You know who's on roids? No, I'm not. Don't nod to me like that. Don't spread rumors about me

just because I'm naturally muscular. Leather face over here. No, don't call me leather face. Do you have a picture of leather face? I do. I should I could pull it up. Can you pull up leather face? Pull up leather face.

And tell me this is it Brian Callant. Just like waking up in the morning. That's not Brian Callant? No. That's not Brian Callant. early in the morning. No, no. Before you put on

like some kind of moisturizer. Joe, that's so fucking. I bought that mask before on Halloween. It's called the Brian Callan. That's called the Brian Callan. That's the Callan right there.

There's that new doc on, is it Netflix? The Mr. Rink's? Yeah, wrinkles the clown. Bro, all I get is rings now. I fucking ever, I've known as rings.

You got a gifted you. I'll give me in the West Palm Beach, and Brock. Come stay me alive. I'll make you laugh. It's a shitty fucking impression and shitty commercial Come see me tell jokes

and I talk about doing a TV show Ro, rah, rah, rah. Now you're making me so old that I'm... He sells shirts that say rah, rah, raw, raw on it. Ro, raw. Hey, you fuck. You fuck. I'm not going to have to stop you in your fucking tracks.

I'm buying that, though. This Halloween I'm going to be Brian Kellen. I got to go. I love that. Because they will kill me if I'm late again. You do the reads on your own, or I can come in tomorrow. Do some and I'll come in tomorrow and do the rest. We got to get that episode out.

Just do it real quick. Let's just knock them out together, the three of us. Okay. Let's go. We got those. Do we have any more? Two? We do keto.

Yeah, and if you guys would do on it as well. Okay. That would be three. Hey, if you guys want the best supplements on planet Earth, and you want to look like Joe Coy and not me, you get on it. You take on it? I love on it. All right. Yeah.

I'm on it. Yeah, you're on it. He's on it. Chim's on it. Chin's on it. On it.com slash fire. You know what I love about chin? Ever since he's been on it?

Yeah. You can see his chin. That's exactly. And that's no bullshit. And his jaw. Very chiseled. Look at that. Shred it, dude.

The protein powder is sweetened by monk food. I don't know if you know that doesn't spike your insulin. Yeah, you knew that. Yeah. Talk about the alpha brain, B. Alpha brain, you want a clear fucking brain. You want to increase your memory and focus? You won't be Elon Musk?

You'll be Elon Musk? You'll be Elon Musk's a good. You'll be Elon Musk for comedy? Yes. Get involved with the mouth and brain. They got it instant, instant. Mix it in your drink. And drink it.

Yeah. I'm fucking smart off. Audit.com slash rider 10% off. Yeah, you want to fuck? Well, they got stuff for that too. Okay. I don't know, man. I don't want to be on it.

Onet.com slash fighter. Love it. 10% off. You know what, B, the one thing health experts, dietitians, athletes, and top performers agree on is that your perfect diet doesn't exist, dude. It doesn't exist, man. Because you need nutrition.

Help. You need some help. So why don't you shut your yapper and swallow athletic greens, ultimate daily all-in-one health drink? 75 vitamins? Minerals? I thought there was only four. And they're food-sourced ingredients, you bastards. Comprehensive nutrition without the need from multiple pills, powders, or complex routines. It's a complete supplement for a better you. Dude, here's the thing. It's powder form. You put it in water. I was trying to shovel spinach down my throat. Doesn't work. Don't need to do that anymore. It's got probiotics and prebiotics, too, and fiber.

All the fiber didn't you need. I didn't know there was such a thing as a prebiotic until on it. Dude, now you know. This is basically like swallowing 12 servings of fruit and vegetables. All right? Start each day the right way with some athletic greens. Does not compromise on the ingredients in sourcing. It's gluten-free, dairy-free, keto, paleo, vegan-friendly, and contains no harmful chemicals,

no pesticides, no GMOs, or funny additives. And it's used. by top performers, entrepreneurs, athletes, and Olympians. Yes, whether you're taking steps towards a healthier lifestyle or you're an athlete, pushing for better performance, Athletic Greens gives you the nutrients you need for a body to thrive. Why not just try it? Jump on over to athletic greens.com slash fighter and claim the special offer today.

A free tub with 20 servings of all natural New Zealand source. 100% grass-fed way protein with your first purchase. That's your micro nutrients and macros covered all in one. Let me just say this. Go on. Athletic greens. Athletic greens.com slash fighter, but I will say this, that I used to take athletic greens a lot. So that's my little thing.

I use this product and I believe in it. Good pitch. Athletic greens. Athletic greens. com slash fighter. Athletic Greens, the official sponsor of the fighter and the coy. No, no, kid. I like it, dude.

I like that. It's actually awesome. What is this now? Dude, this is key eats bars. That's right, man. Key eat bars are keto. friendly, seriously delicious. Might be the best bars I've ever put in my fat

mouth. You know what me? I stay thick, dude. Yeah. But I'm trying to be on this keto drink diet, so I need tasty stuff. Thank God for Key Eats bars with absolute no sugar. They're sweetened with FDA approved keto sugar replacements. They're entirely plant-based. So you can use

your clean keto, dude. Clean, all right? We love the ones they sent us. My favorite's probably the chocolate chip cookie dough. I haven't tried these. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't get involved. Watch you. I'll let you guys know.

KeyEats.com slash fighter. Use your fingers and put all the mouth and then lick your fingers. I use my fingers, Steve. My keys, dude, go to keyeats.com slash fighter to try key eats bars for free. That's right. Three free bars with free shipping. That's keyeats.com slash fighter. Joe Coy, love you.

I love you more. You're the best. I'm proud of all your success. All bullshit aside. You're one of my favorite people in the world. Love you. Thank you for doing the fighter. You're the best man.

Come see me at the West Palm Beach Improv this weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Joe Coy doesn't need any commercials because he sold 60,000 fucking tickets. Thank you, man. I'm in Ontario. There are 20 tickets left for all shows. This Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Ontario Improv. Next week, Vancouver.

That bitch almost sold out to Vogue Theater just for last comedy festival, Vancouver. And I closed the month in Tacoma, Washington, February 27th, 29th. Get your tickets now. Theater run coming up. Atlanta, New Orleans, Detroit, Toronto, Minneapolis. Get your tickets, T-BF2.com.

I added a show. Oh, there you go. Showware. Kent Washington. Oh, wow. Seattle, Washington added another. Seattle. Don't get mad, but I added an arena show. Oh, wow.

Arena. I'm happy. We're going to get tickets. Hopefully somewhere. You know what I mean? Go to TFACA.com and you can get them off my website. If you come to the West Palm Beach and Bob, I'll get you half tickets, half-price tickets to Joe Coy. This is the fighter and the coy.

We're out. Woo!