The Fighter & The Kid - Godfrey's Suspicions on Tom Brady & the NFL | TFATK Ep. 1002

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

Godfrey joins Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen and the guys talk Godfrey's lengthy career in standup comedy as well as a his long history with Bryan, appearing on Club Shay Shay with Shannon Sharpe and his take on Katt Williams, a crazy meeting with Comedy Central, love for country music, being a Nigerian comic, advice he got from Damon Dash, his skeptical hippo eyes with the NFL and Tom Brady and much more! True Classic - Upgrade your wardrobe and get up to 25% OFF @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/FIGHTER ! #trueclassicpod #sponsored Sportsmans's Cove Lodge - http://alaskasbestlodge.com/ Use code “TFATK” at checkout for 10% off your first trip! JOYMODE - https://usejoymode.com/fighter or enter code: Fighter at checkout for 20% off your first order Fieldcraft Survival - https://fieldcraftsurvival.com/fighter Use code: Fighter20 for 20% OFF Training and Product

Yes, we did. Because we back at it again. It's the fighter and the kid. This is really the fighter and the kid. Come on, baby. There's just one Magic Mind left. Do you want to fight over it? Yeah.

Because we both need help, right? Because you're getting older. I need this shot. Because you're inching towards very Biden-ish, right? Like you're freezing on stage and shit. I'm on a battlefield. Yeah. I'm going to get my Magic say I'm on a battlefield. Yeah. I gotta get my magic mine.

Not even a battlefield. You just sound like it's so much energy to say hello. I need my nootropic here because I need a sense of flow. I gotta get that energy shot. But hold on now, I need it because I have CTE and I gotta talk for the next two hours. I'm old and you have CTE. So should we do half these?

Well, we could do that. We'll do half these. I'll drink half. And by the way, my wife, there was one yesterday in the fridge and she fights for it. So we have to, we're waiting on our shipment. We'll get more, yeah. And so we got in a fight over it.

That's cool. Cause I drank it and she goes, seriously? And I was like, this one, you know, it's good. You kick her in the tit. I'll drink, I'll drink half and you'll get half, okay? Half and half? Didn't kick her in the tit. Cause she's breastfeeding my kid.

Psychic, why would you say kick her in the tit? Cause she took your magic mine. I would kick her in the tit cuz she's breastfeeding my kids psychic I think you said kick her in the tit cuz she took your magic mind. I would kick her in the tit for a magic mind Well, I'm not doing that. I'll kick you in your stupid teeth. You can hear I'll drink have No, just take That's so rude there's some left On Juneteenth you do that to me I didn't mean to I on Juneteenth you gonna okay? That's our son. I actually didn't mean to that's how we're starting the show. It's gay pride month, dude Oh, is it still gay pride month? I think it's all year long man. I've no wonder I've been

Gay thinking that we should get out together well for you for me. I'm like oh, it's the month for you It's like oh, it's every day. Yeah, Yeah, my wife my wife will be like, what are you doing? Like she'll catch me staring at a dude on Instagram. Yeah, you know, what are you doing? I'm like nothing. That's Brian Literally was I paused on this because I'm looking at the shorts that I want to buy Should I can't emphasize enough? This seven up zero sugar tropical. That's just a, that's not good for you. Cause I like citrus, you know, like grape and all that stuff. I thought it would be good.

Did he buy that for you? I bought it for the studio. Like we always have, you know, I like Diet Coke. So I'm like, Trump, DC's baby. Like we love DC's. We ran out. There's, this was the only little solo thing in there. I went, I haven't had 7-Up since I was a kid. That's a terrible substitute for Diet Coke. Oh, bro, piss in my mouth. Some experiment that 7-Up came up with. Because 7-Up or Sprite always reminds me when I was a kid,

they would give it to you to settle your stomach. I don't think it works. The carbonation does, right? Yeah, I guess so. My mom gave me those in the saltine crackers. Yeah. No, no thanks. That doesn't even have caffeine. Hey, can I ask you a question? This is piss. I guess so my mom giving those in the saltine crackers. Yeah Hey, can I ask you a question where you're good? I'd rather you get some I'm truck away I'm giving a truck way to give in a truck away. What if you won?

Dude, I I would and then you know what I would do you know, you know, here's the thing Oh, can you show me the truck? You're giving away cuz I want to enter and if I won I just to spite you I would keep it in my garage Never drive you imagine if you won. just to spite you I would keep it in my garage Never dry That's my biggest fear I would do to you there's a guy I knew he used to have this this guy I knew Used to have a plant in college and he never watered it ever and I was like, please water it He goes no just to beat you on yes, and it was just it was holding

Here's the thing with this giveaway truck right like I put all this time money investment into it when you do a giveaway There's no reserve so if in 60 days or 75 days however long we can do the the Raffle for yeah, if it goes for two dollars someone wins the truck for two dollars your boy screwed I know and also but here's the other thing. I don't select the winner. We have to hire a third party, so there's no shenanigans. Oh boy.

So there can be, let's say you, the way you entered, you buy a shirt, right? A drive fast, all gas shirt with King Shock's collab that we're doing. Let's say you bought a shirt, right? And randomly you won. You can't win. Like anybody who's connected to me. Because it would just look terrible. and randomly you won, you can't win.

Like anybody who's connected to me. Because it would just look terrible. Awful. Yeah, yeah. Let's say shot in the dark, you won or my brother won or Sanaa's won, we have to redo it. If you have any association with me, you can't win. Yeah, because then people would just do this, collect the money.

Let me see that thing. What is this thing that they could win? Like what is, like why would I be excited by that, let's just say. You wouldn't be excited about it, but the reason it's, because you'll see giveaways, like you'll see Gas Monkey do it, you'll see, was it 8080's another big one? Fucking Iron Man does them.

Robert Downey Jr. does them, but he does electric and like old school. But this is like custom one of one. Damn, 700 horsepower and F-150. Or more than that. So yeah, so it started off life as a 2019, just regular F-150. We broke it all down. We hired McNeil Racing to do generation three conversion.

So it looks like a Raptor R on steroids, but a 2024 Raptor R on steroids. Everything, so if you like Raptor R's, you like regular Raptors, all good. This destroys it in every single facet. So if I'm driving down that street, truck people are like, what the? Most people would freak out.

Even if you don't know trucks, because A, it's cherry red for a reason. And it's loud. It's raw supercharged. It's loud, it has exhausts coming out the side. So I built it like I build my truck. You know, like wild shit. So this thing's wild.

The interior, wild. Like nothing's, nothing's, oh. If this thing was a girl, it'd be Amber Rose. It'd be all, it'd be all curved up and what. Yes. Just curved. 100%. Yeah.

100%. Not for the, not for the faint of heart, not for the, you can't be light in the ass to step to that truck. No, hopefully, but here, here's the not for the faint of heart not for the you can't be light in the ass to step to that truck No, hopefully but here's the concern is some hopefully somebody wins it that is actually gonna use what it's for It's like crazy king shock suspension on it bypass shocks. I would I would Win it so badly I want to die inside I would win it and then I would I would do an entire 40 minute YouTube video taking me nope of me modifying it back to stop

Taking it all off. You just see me take out the giant exhaust I think we don't get stupid thing. This is stupid. You take off go too loud. Yeah, yeah, too out and it's a v6 Let's get a v6 in here. We tone it down here? Can we tune it down? All of that. Can we turn it down? I take off the mufflers. I bring the wheels. I make regular wheels. Paint it just like a mono gray. Yeah, just like something sensible. Can we get the tin off the windows by chance? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sensible, sensible, sensible. Get the Roush off. Yeah, yeah. Take that custom interior out of here. We got to get better gas mileage. We have to. Oh God. But that's the thing. I can't, so, you know, it's it's nationwide so oh, it's a nationwide thing

Oh, yeah, so and then we have to fly the winner in but if let's say some Random big boob blonde and Irvine happens to win. Yeah, okay. Cool. I got a red truck Like you hope somebody that actually really knows that thing's McNeil racing like they're the pinnacle Wait, let me see. Kibbe-Tac, King Shock. So it's all what's under the hood. It's all like, unless you know what to look for. Unless you, but even you, like you don't know,

you know, Baja Racing, like pre-runners. It's a work of art. It's a pre-runner. Oh, bro, this thing. Well, if you wanted to buy it, what do you think it would cost? Without exaggerating. Without, straight up, with all the conversion?

With everything there. Including the cost of a base F-150. I come to you guys and I go, I want to buy that truck. Honestly, what do you think it would go for? Probably 140, 150 grand. Holy shit. Yeah. Holy shit. You realize it's like, it's one of one.

There's like the body work, the generation three conversion, all that shit. Brendan Schaub, I am building the craziest giveaway truck of all time. This is a Roush P. Yeah, you can hear that shit. You can hear that noise. That's a good looking truck. I'll be honest. That's a good looking truck.

And these guys are all just, they're just craftsmen. Anybody who's worked on it's the best. See that side exhaust, Eddie? So you must be drooling. I love it. Nothing better. Is that what your truck is looking like that's being worked on all the time?

When your truck is ready in 2030, will you? No, I'll be ready in a month. I'm going out to Fort Worth. You want to come? Blow your hair back, Eddie. Yeah. But can you, hopefully someone that wins that knows like what they have and they actually use it.

Like hopefully it's not a street princess. Right. Like that thing is bit it has true bead lock 39 inch tires on race tires from BF Goodrich Fucking use it dude. Use it drive it Drive it take it to fucking Johnson Valley put put in the fucking mint 400 out Baja 1000 you want that you this is a racing truck a legit racing truck I mean, yeah, I mean you can use it for whatever like off-road it you can take it down by you know You don't have to enter because not a trophy truck, but you can take it down there You take down by you take it off-roading to your Johnson Valley shoot some dope content with it

Just don't use it to pick up fucking Del Taco with the kids There you could yeah, and that'd be dope so I mean pick if you're doing that but use it to pick up fucking Del Taco with the kids. Don't use it to pick up Del Taco Yeah, you could yeah, and that'd be dope. So I mean pick of you doing that but use it for what it's you know, I'm saying That's the biggest fair But I'll tell you I've you know, I was a little little I'm not angry angry. It's not the right choice of words here I'll talk about this. So the whole thing an entire I'll talk about this. So the whole thing, the entire focused energy has been this, right?

And getting this off the ground, it goes live July 8th, I think. But you got to build a whole website, you got to invest in all that, right? The whole brand, dry, fast, all gas, got to invest in all that. Sonaz has been great, Mark's been great. I love that, dry, fast, all gas. Yep. So you got to invest in all this stuff. So I need a designer, right?

We hired, let me start. So we hired a designer, a guy said, he's, oh, I'm really good at this and I can help you guys out. Cool. Hire him, right? He sends us the stuff. This is two days ago. It's been weeks. Sends us the stuff. I'm like, damn Alex, you did a great job, man. We had to pay him, of course. Pay him, right? Sends us the whole catalog, what we're going to be offering offering there's a bunch of stuff seasonal stuff the whole brand brand awareness, right Two days ago, so we're gonna get the whole website order all the shirts all the hats on shit Two days ago Jay goes Hey, man, that logo I've seen before. Oh

No, I what oh no, she was like similar. You know that deuces macchiano like in Venice that we always go A day is a mockin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's the day. Yes. Yeah, I think so It's a European somebody but they have a flagship and fucking better use Machina. Yeah, J goes now I've seen that I get out of you fucking out of your mind And sure enough bro And sure enough, bro, it was the exact same logo. Oh, that's a big problem. The problem?

Well, this guy took the logo. You get trouble for that. Well, yeah, might as well have been a Nike swoosh. I mean. I go, oh, and remember, we're all built, ready to go. I go, oh, well, no, we have embroidery on the seats with all sorts of well Wait, wait, so I call my go. No, I go so that's point of no return. It's hold on here You know, I figured my shit out. I go I call my go bud

You told me this was all original you drew it by hand created by any of us. Yeah, I do you know you didn't Use the idea. I said no you didn't I did. I go, no, you didn't. He goes, yeah, I did. I said, no, you didn't. Sent him, I go, what's this? He said, I don't know, that's not mine. I go, no, no, no, that's the exact logo from that company, Bubba. You sent me that. He goes, I have pistons, a piston.

No, no, no, it's not though, dude. It's the exact same fucking logo. Yeah, tell that to the courts. That will get sued, you don't have a brand. So he got fired, and then we hired a new guy who works with our boy, Meat Eaters. He works with Meat Eaters. Ken Block did Ken Block stuff. Did the Hoonigans.

He's great. He's like, I'll fix it. So he fixed it. We got it in time. But yeah, it was, that's all I was dealing with. Whoa, dude. Thank God for your brother. For my brother and for Mark.

Oh, man. Mark here was like, man, I'm telling you, I think I've seen it before. Yikes. Do you know what I mean? I get on like, damn, that's sweet. I'm going on to the next thing. What's this guy thinking? I think some people are unbelievable.

You know what I did though? I read Jaco's book. I take full accountability. I went, good. I went, oh, that's on me. Like it's heated conversation, me lags in the team. I go, you know what, dude? He goes, I'm so sorry, man, but I'll make it right. I went, no, no, no, that's on me. Like it's heated conversation, me lags in the team. I go, you know what, dude?

He goes, I'm so sorry, man, but I'll make it right. I go, no, no, no, that's on me. We're not gonna work with you again. I said, it's on me. He goes, what do you mean? I go, my bad. I assumed when we hired a high level artist, designer like this, I assumed you weren't gonna take it

from another company. That's on me. That's what you said? Yeah, I went, that's on me. My bad for assuming at the cost you charge that you weren't going to copy for somebody else. I said, that's on me. I should have noticed it right away and I didn't. Because you charged less, right? No, you didn't charge less. Oh, I didn't charge less. No. I went, that's on me. He's like, ah, I appreciate it, man. That's all good. I said, that's on

me. I said, you know what, dude, thank you for the lesson. Dude, you know what, this is when I have to speak up. The fact that he's literally trying to take the blame and that guy's response was like, hey, thanks. Yeah, well, that guy's a piece of shit. Give me a break. But that guy's whole life is that. That guy's whole life is that.

Come on, dude. He's just duplicitous. He knows what he's doing. Just. But the best way out of that is to do exactly that. That guy's whole life is that. He's just duplicitous. He knows what he's doing. But the best way out of that is to do exactly that. 100% I went, all good? Yeah. And by the way, isn't it easier in a way? It's like, ah Tommy, you know. But what are you gonna do, fight with him and like?

No, no. Keep the money? No, no, all right, cool. On the next. Well, I told you, that's what my wife, you know, we had a cabinet guy, same thing. And he was, I mean, I took a look at one text. I was like, he's a drug addict.

He's a drug addict. Just, you're not getting your money back. Just write it off. It's all good. What do you want me to do? You owe me 1500 bucks. Lesson learned. It sucks, but.

We got the right guy. This guy Evan now works, like I said, with Steve Ronella, Hoonigan's monster. In a day he was like, I'll fix him and I got you. So we got it fixed. But that's not me. My bad, bro. I should have looked into it more and assumed you weren't going to steal. That's not me. I went, good. No, you, but you know how you say like that's a trade or whatever, like a drug addict, but there's nothing you can do. I was listening to your

podcast this morning because it was up at three 30. That was cool. Um, your podcast with Jordan Peterson's daughter, Mekyla Peterson, Mekikaela. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, gorgeous. She's gorgeous. My God. Her husband and she'd love her husband too. Like they're just her husband walked in. I went, well, I don't know who's better looking here. They're just gorgeous people. What's he look like? He's six, four blonde with the straightest, whitest, nicest teeth I've ever seen. And just jacked. Jacked? What's he do?

Yeah, he actually used to play football. Of course he did. Yeah. Well, there he is. Well, there he is with perfect care. I can't see him there. I was literally like, well, there he is. Well, that's him.

Oh, wow. Yeah. He'd be one of Hitler's favorites. That's what Hitler was trying to build. He's as naturally blonde and as good looking as he gets. It's just ridiculous. Dude, how about your father-in-law is Jordan Peterson? Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to talk about at dinner?

Yeah, Jordan Peterson. Probably my favorite person in the world. He's one of my favorites. But also, if your father-in-law is Jordan Peterson and he's like, hey, let's have dinner tonight, you're doing some prep work before you go home. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Well, you're just sitting down going, how about this whole gossip thing? You know what MacKyla's been through? Oh yeah, no I'm familiar. Yeah, but again, my point was I was listening to it,

I thought it was a great podcast, right? Good podcast. Yes, it was fun. Lighting was horrible on your face. Anyway, so, but you were saying how Rogan's really good at cutting people off, we always say that, you and I are the worst. But he was saying, cause he's in pool halls,

he's like, some people are just born losers. I love that. Let's take a little break I want to talk to you about true classic as you know, I'm always in true classic What underwear am I wearing true classic what I wear yesterday true classic why cuz they got these button-ups that don't wrinkle and fit Perfectly I never wear button-ups. Ever, ever, ever. Have you ever seen me wear button-ups? No. Now I wear them all the time because True Classic makes it that easier.

They're breathable, versatile, they don't really stain. Everything about them is perfect. You always look good. So any t-shirt I have on is always True Classic. I don't think I've been on stage in I don't know how long where I wasn't wearing a true classic t-shirt or long sleeve t-shirt. I think that's

pretty much, I mean there maybe have been some exceptions but for the most part I just like the way they feel. I think they're awesome and we will give you on this podcast 25% off your first order just try the t-shirts. Try any anything. It's all great quality. I don't care what it is. It's the perfect blend of everything you need. So go to true classic.com slash fighter for 25% off your first order. There you go. And that isn't that crazy. I didn't tell you about that conversation I had with him. Because with Joe, there was a guy who we have a mutual friend and I was like, you know, he's doing great now. And he goes, please don't be friends with them for my sake. He's just like, why?

Cause we need to have to deal with it. Yeah. He's just, he's the guy's just, it's, I'm telling you he's going to break your heart. You know, he's, he's fine now. And I said, man, you write these people off. He goes, because I grew up in pool halls. I spent a lot of time in pool halls, and there are born winners and born losers. And born losers find a way to lose. And that guy who had that opportunity, charged a lot,

you know, is a good example of a guy who's just, he's gonna make a choice that he knows is wrong. We know plenty of people. We know plenty of people who'd make these choices, and you're like, you're making, do you not see that you're driving right toward a wall? Do you not see that you're driving right at a wall? Do you not see that you're driving right at a wall? And you and I are the worst.

And you'll keep doing it. We had a guy who was around here and there was a million red flags and he looked at me and went, I get it. It's the only thing I would have changed. It's the only thing I would have changed in my life. I would have been way more ruthless with bringing crazies and damaged people back into my life.

I know. It's not who we are. I know. Because I don't give a. But God, it really fucked me up. Like, you bring damage and crazy. If you bring broken and crazy in your life, it's going to bite you in the ass. And I did it over and over. And who warned me from the age of 28? Joe Rogan. From the age of 28, he was like, you bring broken and crazy in your life, it's going to bite you in the ass. And it sure did. And it sure did. I know he tells us all the

time, but it's hard to change that way. But it's also my, me too. And I don't view the world as, oh, everyone's gonna take advantage or hurt me, which I probably should at these days. I definitely should. Unfortunately, that's the lesson. And I hate saying it, but that's the lesson. See, I don't know if that's a lesson. I think you just keep on keeping on. And it's like, at the end of the day, they might take advantage of you. They go on podcasts, talk shit about you, make up all this shit. Okay. Yeah. You still, I know. You're still not, like that, like that, all this shit. Okay. Yeah, you still I know you're still not like that like that like that doing that. Yeah, is why you're at where you're at. Yes, but but

there is something that Jordan Peterson said about weak people are not are not good people and they're dangerous because a weak person will will ultimately resent you and try to destroy you. They'll try to destroy you and they won't do it like face to face. They won't fight you. They'll do it. They'll try to destroy your reputation. They'll talk. And that's, that's, that is a very, and I never thought of the world that way. It's not that powerful though, because I don't think of the world that way. And even dangerous. Oh, what are they going to do? Go on YouTube and talk shit. Okay. Well, you know, they've done studies on women that used to say men, most men are, sociopath, the trait of a sociopath is mostly a male thing. Now they're finding that it actually is also a female thing.

So women do, so men will get violent, they'll do weird shit, they'll kill you. Women are vindictive and smart about it. They engage in reputation destruction. So women, like Amber Heard, will make up stories. And that's how they kill you. And they can kill you. Or she's at the party

with a group and she's like Johnny did this right and then the next week at a different group man how about Johnny with this it's all these little seeds yes all that stuff and they just see the divorce lawyers will tell you this like they're different people will tell they'll just make up stories you know that's all they have yeah yeah i mean yeah we could probably be better at but i always assume like if someone has a million red flags, I always go they just haven't had the right shot. That's what I do too, Brennan. I'm like they just need maybe maybe it's just because They just need me. You'll find smart people. They need me. Not even me. Like or anyone like no one just gave them a fair shot. All they do is get a fair shot.

But it just so happens I'm dealing with this design shit and a bunch of other ship shit with the the shops who just can't get shit on time That's just yeah tuning and all that shit just happens. They say a day and it's five days just get used to it But then with with the one designer thing where I took accountability That's fine with them like that's on me and when you said that road was yes I'm just born losers went man. Does that ring true? Do you remember that the opening? fucking scene in The Ozarks remember the opening scene where he's like he tells the story the drug dealer is gonna kill the guy for stealing money We're there on the knees. Yeah. Yeah, he goes what and he is stole five dollars

You know he said and my she worked for our family Yeah, she worked for our family and you know, and she only took one thing. It's like, dad, you know, she only took one thing, give her one, one chance. And he said, and what was the problem there? And, and Jason, he goes, he goes, it's the first time she's been caught. She's been doing it the whole time. Yep. And that's why he survived.

He's like, oh good. Yeah. That show's so good. You've been stealing. That show. So it's a good show. It's so true to ruthless. Yeah. No, this is only the first time you got caught. That's what happens a lot of times when people get do something. Typically you were stealing. You used to, it's not your first time. You've done this before. Yeah. Yeah. That's a thousand examples. Yeah. I thought that podcast was good though, bud. Thanks buddy. Appreciate it, man.

You could have gave fire and kids shout out or Brendan taught me everything I've known. But I could have done that. And then, you know, you get caught up in the conversation and you're like, I didn't promote anything there. It's bad. You promoted your dates. Yeah. Piece of shit. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Piece of shit. Come on, man. Take it easy. Come on, dude. Take it easy. I went out to Arizona for that nice house. Oh, she lives in Arizona Beautiful place. Could you move to Arizona? Uh, so hot Every car has to have it in a cool. I can do it. I could live in Florida. I can learn in Arizona

You know what is that? As you know, as you know, if my kids are close to me, I'm good You know, I need my, as you know, if my kids are close to me, I'm good. You know, I need my friends though. I need my friends. I need my friends. I need my, I need my eggs. You want to rephrase that? I need my friend, right? You're my only friend. That's right. And then, you know, Rogan is our friend, but he lives in Austin. I had somebody say it this week and they go, you and Shob, man, you guys, you guys have been, you guys are close, huh? You guys are dogs for each other. I went, that's right.

That's right, that's right. But he said it with admiration. He's made a lot of money, too. Yeah, most people aren't the hoes. You guys are fucking, you guys are loyal to each other. Most people respect it, yeah. How mad I got on the thousandth episode when I was talking about the comedy clubs.

You kidding me? Yeah, it's hard to get me that mad. Have you ever heard me yell like that? No, absolutely. Never. It's very, it's very to get me that many. Have you ever heard me yell like that? No, never. It's very, it's very real. Sometimes I wish you would, you should kill some people. I thought about that. You should, you should just go,

you should start knocking on doors and just be like, hey, I'm gonna kill you one day and then just leave. I don't know if I need those problems. I feel like it's bad advice. No, but just like, but then give them a little twist up. As you can tell, daddy's been training me. Ran my three miles this morning. Everyday.

Hey, you know why? Just in case, dude. Just fucking in case. I gotta teach you a fucking lesson again. Teach who a lesson? You, dude. I've been training. For you. Can you imagine? That's adorable because I don't take time off. You found out I was training for you. Can you imagine? That's adorable, because I don't take time off. You found out I was training for you.

You're like, wait, what? What's he doing? Yeah, dude, that's all I can think about. Did you find the UFC? Yeah, fuck that. Sasso keeps sending me videos of Italian guys talking. They're just saying shit, because he's at dinner and these two are talking.

I'm going to eat my food. I'm going to eat my food. I don't want to taste it. And then he just says, these guys are saying that this guy just shouted Callan's not Italian. He's Turkish and Estonian And I go what the fuck are you talking about? Then he just sends a picture of him farting so stupid Oh, I found out

I was trying to get Jake to call in today actually It's trying to get Jake Paul to call in because his fights in July. Let's talk about that I'm gonna go that's so you So it's not bare knuckle. No, it's- It's boxing. 10 ounce gloves. Eight rounds. You texting him during my fucking spiel?

No, I'm just checking with Godfrey. Oh yeah, we got a guest today, Godfrey. Yeah. Okay, so keep going, go on. So 10 ounce gloves, eight rounds. It's in Tampa. I might be there for that. Okay. Jake already on the draft Kings, whatever the books is that has the numbers out

already, Jake's a favorite. I think he's like a minus two 20. Okay. Let's go pros and cons. So just so people realize, and I put this out, I said, if you don't think this is a much tougher fight and a more, and a more, and a more, and a realize, and I put this out, I said, if you don't think this is a much tougher fight and a more, and a better fight than Mike Tyson at 57 years, 58 years old, you're a moron. Yeah.

You don't know shit. Yeah. So there's that, but so what's at risk for Jake? Remember, this isn't on Netflix. This is outside of that. This is actually a pay per view. So this is a pay per view. So we'll figure out, you know, Perry and Jake here, but this is in July. His fight with Mike's in December. So what Jake is risking fighting Mike Perry, which is I think by far his toughest fight he's had. More than Tommy fury. Way more, way more, way more time. If you're just on a knockout artist, no, I mean, is it like my Perry can hit hard?

Mike Perry will change your DNA, but yeah, absolutely. Grockhold. That's it. New hold on new teeth, sir. Yeah. He's had three different opponents tap out from due to strikes. He broke their faces.

That's what you're dealing with. So to risk the Mike Tyson, which will be the biggest bag he's ever going to get and the most watched fight in the history of combat sports, you're taking a guy on in the end of July in Mike Perry. Now I get it. You hate him because he's from Disney and the YouTube and whatever his brother did this and the crypto. Fuck all that noise. You at very, you hate him because he's from Disney and the YouTube and whatever, his brother did this and the crypto, fuck all that noise. You at very, you didn't hate the guy, that's fine.

People hate a lot of people, that's your right. At some point you gotta be like, all right, it's kind of badass. I agree with you. But then people are gonna say, oh, here he goes fighting a smaller guy. Let's talk about that. Were you gonna go there?

No. Have you talked about this at all? Mike Perry, I guarantee, walks around 200 pounds. Boom, going to go there? No. Have you talked about this at all? Mike Perry, I guarantee walks around 200 pounds. Boom. There you go. So Mike, a hundred percent. So when Mike Perry last fought, they weighed him in, denied the fight. I think it was like 198, 199.

So Mike Perry could be around, you know, 205, but even a fucking in shape. You don't think a 200 pound Mike Perry can knock anybody on the planet out. If 200 pound man who's been throwing his right hand that well, you know everyone goes Oh Jake so big. Hold on Jake was getting bigger for Tyson. I guarantee he's not gonna be that big against pay his friend I would I would assume a pounder. He should be I would let's let's say one night to ten Which would be heavy for Jake, which I think is a bad idea because Mike's gonna be faster Yeah, Mike Mike is gonna be faster. Is he? Yeah idea because Mike's gonna be faster yeah Mike Mike is gonna be faster is he yeah yeah pretty fast too I don't know but what I'm saying is let's say they're equal

but if Jake comes in 10 or 15 pounds heavier than we normally weighs then I think Mike's gonna be faster that's my yeah and it's eight rounds but now now so cons for for Perry it's not it'suckle. You're talking about a different skill set. You're almost talking about lacrosse to hockey. I agree with you. For those people that don't know, bare knuckle and MMA, you're talking about bare knuckle in boxing. Again, it'd be like assuming that Wayne Gretzky would be good at lacrosse. Well, the way I say it is this,

what makes you good at boxing is a liability in bare knuckle. So boxing, everything's built off your jab. And if you watch Luke Rockhold, he was trying to check hook, it's not gonna work. The pretty stuff's not gonna work. I would say the sweet science is not your friend. It's not your friend. In bare knuckle.

It's just not. You take that sweet science and you throw it out like I did in high school. That's right. Yes. And but now when you're a bare knuckle brawler, we know one thing. Mike Perry doesn't have any quittin' him and we know he's coming for you. And we know he hits hard. And he has a chin.

And he's got a... He hits hard. We've seen him get his nose pushed to the back of his head and keep coming. He does not care. So that's the thing. Now I would say this, um, when he closes distance and starts throwing the way he does with bare knuckle, it's easier when you have gloves to deal with that and answer back. Right?

Um, it's either easier to defend. You can kind of cover up a little bit, but still here is my, but something's going to get through a hundred percent. And also Perry doesn't go back He only applies pressure forward and that's eight rounds of that Yes, so so again if again Jake's not a bare-knuckle boxer. You know MMA guy. He's a straight sweet science boxer He's sparring against sweet science boxers. So it's very it's a dance There's a really be So when there's a rhythm

and this guy's playing a different fucking beat. Classical music, rock and roll. Classical music, death metal. Boom. You know, so he's just, he's not entertaining your jab. No, he doesn't care. He's hitting you with elbows. He's just coming in. And his fucking heads in your chin, he's making it dirty. It's a, when I say it's Jake's toughest fight, it's not even fucking remotely close. And he's, he's risking it before the biggest fight of his career, Mike Tyson. So what happens if Jake were to get knocked out? Definitely a possibility or lose on the cards. Absolutely. You think Mike Tyson's Mike? Oh, fuck, dude. And by

the way, 10 ounce gloves. to say no 10 ounce ain't shit It ain't shit it might as well be an MMA glove. I know everyone looks like it covers the no. It's nothing It's so hard. No, it's nothing. No, cuz then you can also pack it harder. Yeah, so it's more of a weapon You can get knocked out. It's a fucking they're clubs. Oh the way boxes wrapped their hands are fucking meat hitters That's right. People think it's off think it's nothing soft. There's no gift It's like oh, so remember that same 10 ounce glove that Mike Perry's put on I don't know if he has big hands is the same town's glove Anthony Joshua puts on oh my god So imagine it has to spread over his oh my lord

So people think oh boxing's way safe. Oh you stupid those are shovels fuckface, correct Those are shovels, fuckface. Correct. Those are shovels, you fucking moron. Don't say that. You're a fuckface because your face is going to get fucked. Yeah. No, I know you can't see the fingernails. It's intriguing, man. It's not even close as far as entertainment-wise.

And I believe Mike Perry is also shorter than Jake Bradley. So he's going to be coming in, turtling up. There's an advantage there. I know there is. There's an advantage. Because you've got to punch down. When you're a brawler, there's an advantage to being shorter. So he's going to be coming in. There's an advantage there. I know there is. We got to punch down. When you're a brawler, there's an advantage to be in shorter. Throw in just those hooks just going in. Just do you think you have more power when you're punching down or when you're punching up? When you're punching up.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Six one versus probably what? Five ten. Five ten, yeah. Yeah, Mike's a fucking dog, man. And then also think about this just from, ah, what would you call it? Just from a fighter's, um, longevity from a fighter's career, from a fighter's, from a fighter leaving the USC, right? Getting cut from the UC and going on to do big things.

Mike Perry is the face of bare knuckle. He's being compensated very well. He's fought only legends. You go through, he's fought- I would have never called this either. Michael Venom Page, right? Who's the fucking star of the ball right now for the UFC. He's fighting fucking our boy.

He fought him in bare knuckle. He's fighting, yeah, and beat him. God, Michael Venom Page. Oh, and beat him. Made it bloody. Fuck. Oh, beat him. Yeah, yeah, beat him.

Oh, and England. Oh my Lord. Yeah, yeah, so he went down there and did it. Oh my Lord. Yeah, yeah, beat him. Oh, in England. Oh my Lord. Yeah, yeah, so he went down there and did it. Oh my Lord. Yeah, yeah. You're talking about, you're talking about it. So performance, when it comes to stepping up in a performance, this guy's so experienced. He's so experienced.

He's been in there, I mean, his UFC career was salty, but again, you're talking about a kid who got cut, had to reinvent himself, he's the face of bare knuckle He's the guy he's the face bare knuckle, which is blown up USC's in cahoots with it He's fought all these legends and then now he's fighting Jake fucking Paul And what do you think's after this you don't think Logan's there? You don't think of Mike Tyson fights possible You don't think that Nate Diaz is interested in this possible. You don't think that Nate Diaz is interested in this? 100%. All this shit. 100%. Like all that's there for Mike Perry. How you can't cheer for that is wild. I know. Is wild.

I love it. Because just so you know, most guys that leave the UFC are fucked because usually they're longer in the tooth. And now Francis went on and did his thing. He made money, right? And fought Fury and then fought, got knocked out by by Joshua and now it's kind of over. It's kind of over. He might be able to get a Deontay Wilder, that PFL might put what Mike's doing has never been done. Never, never. That's really, it's, and he used the N word before, and he's still doing the many times, sir. Well, he's 1% black. He's Juneteenth. Shout out to Mike Perry. Many times. He somehow gets away with it because he's still doing the many times sir. Well, he's 1% black. He's Juneteenth Shout to Mike Perry many times Juneteenth. He somehow gets away with it because he's just people 1% He's just he's from Flint, Michigan and he's just you know, but also don't forget Mike Perry

Three or four years ago beat up a random dude in a sushi restaurant and you had charges filed against oh he did But he also used to have his girlfriend corner him. Dude, hilarious. Him and Jose can say go only once I know. What, hilarious. Savage. That's how you know you're losing. So his girlfriend used to corner him, he has that whatever assault charge, he's doing all

this stuff and then you can go back and watch the fucking shop show. When he announces he's having a kid, I go, watch out for Mike Perry. Really? Yep. I would guarantee he gets his shit together. Wow. Go. Someone will find this footage.

When he posts he's having a kid, I'm like, oof, watch out for Mike Perry. Dude, kids will build a fire under your ass, man. And if they don't, if you have children and it doesn't make you step your game up, fuck off. Yeah, I agree. You piece of shit. I have children and it doesn't make you step your game up, fuck off. Yeah, I agree. You piece of shit. I agree. Because it ain't about you.

No, it isn't even a little bit about you. And now imagine Mike Perry. Now do you have the most round skill set in the UFC? No, but he's always a dog. He's always exciting, but he was fighting for himself and you can go kind of far if you're fighting for yourself. Yeah, but. But it's tough.

It has to be bigger than you. So when I saw him having a kid, I went, uh oh. Watch out for Mike Perry. Someone go out and go and find that clip. You'll see I go, Mike Perry, I guarantee you, it changes his life. Have you heard a thing about Mike Perry? I've been around Mike Perry.

I've been around recently. I was in Florida with him. Dude, a complete fucking 180. Great person, well respected, money in the bank, family man, kids, trains his ass off. Now he's fighting Jake fucking Paul. So you know, it's such a beautiful story because it's so rare.

It's so rare. You know, they always say that the most dangerous soldiers, what they always say is if you're going to raise an army of mercenaries and you're going to invade another country, you better be put on notice because there's nothing more fierce than someone fighting out of love for their country, not because you're paying them. When you're fighting an army of people that are defending who they love, so that you have an army of people that are defending a way of life, defending the fact that they're protecting their family. You better, better pack a lunch and have all the weaponry because your mercenaries can be turned

like that. Once they start losing, they're like, I ain't fighting with these guys. Because you're fighting for something more than yourself. You do die for it. All that has to be more than yourself. Joanna had a talk with me last night. It was probably like nine o'clock. Tiger had baseball practice, went to dinner, got home around eight 30, put him to bed. They're at summer camps.

I think he go to bed a little later. And then we're sitting there. I was just like fucking staring at the wall. The first time I sat down since, I don't know, six a.m. besides working, talking. And she's like, you look exhausted. And I was telling her all this stuff going on. And she was like, well, I mean, why? I was like, you look exhausted. And I was telling her all this stuff going on and she was like, I mean, why?

And I was like, oh, why? The kids. I love that. I love that. Like, I'll get, just relax, you need a break. My sister was saying that the other day, a break. I was like, a break. I go like this.

A break. I don't know, I can't. This break you're describing, is that an English word? Are you speaking Portuguese? If I had the money, if you give me $50 million, $20 million, whatever you want to give me, I mean, okay, but right now. Still no breaks. I can't.

I'm a shark. I can't. I can't stop moving. I can understand doing that, but I got bills. You got to come up with crazy shit, man, all the time. I got bills. I come up with crazy shit. I got a million different folks in my life. I know very few people that can actually stop.

I know some super rich people that could stop working. I know one person in my life. Yeah, yeah, because most people would like, yeah, you'd have to change your ways. And there are people that keep their saints. But Joanne asked me this last night, she goes, if you think it was just me and you, if we didn't have the kids, you'd be like this. I went, no, no, no, no. I would be in a one bedroom apartment leasing it,

driving some outlandish car that I can't afford. Yeah. And I'd have a bike and I would probably just mosey around. Yeah. You'd mosey. I'd mosey around. Yeah.

I'd probably tan as shit, walk it down Venice beach barefoot. Yep. I'd still live in Venice. Probably be big, just big, kind of. even a bit of a belly. I'd do all the steroids. Yeah. I'd do all the, probably some drugs. Let's be honest. Probably some drugs. Knowing you. Just some drugs. Probably would've gotten a meth. Yep, yep, yep. Just, just, just some, just the wrong girls, the wrong girls would be like, you want some, you want to do some blow and you'd be like, I mean, we're here. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday on three o'clock and the waves are crashing. I probably would have got in with the wrong crowd. I probably would have recruited by the Hells Angels and then they would want me to be in muscle form and they'd be like, dude, you're too friendly. I'm like, I know, but I need the drugs. They're like, dude, you got to beat that guy. I'm like, oh, hi, yes, kids. I can't. Back in the day,

back in the day, we'd do a podcast and then Angelina would have apple pie and stuff. We'd be like, we've kind of earned it. Let's eat some pie. You know, we'll go to dinner. You know, when I do my, a lot of my truck stuff is all down south, like Orange County, San Diego, Oceanside. Yeah. When I come back, I don't care if it's a longer drive or nothing.

I go down Abbott, I stop at Angelina and I sit there. Do you? Yep. And I think, I think about the good times we had. Yeah, dude. And I eat. The Abbott Kenny Fight Club. Yep. And then my son loves that pizza. I'll get a whole, uh, that whole cheese pizza for him.

It's his, it's best. So my son. Fuck you, New York. Fuck you, Chicago. The best pizzas off Abbott Kenny. My son, Jelena takeaway. Not Jelena, the restaurant. It has to be GTA.

Yep. Jelena takeaway. My son every Monday, Tuesday, cause I pickelena the restaurant. It has to be GTA. Yep, Jelena takeaway. My son every Monday, Tuesday, because I pick him up at school, we go and work out, but after that it's Jelena, he needs that pizza. It'll fuck you, it'll ruin you. It'll ruin you, that pizza.

Those were such good times. Oh, dude. You know how to just sit there after a pod and play a Vista? At a Kenny Pike club. You would wear a tank top and we called you Hungry Eyes because all the girls would check you out with the shoulders for days.

And then you'd be like, I don't want to eat too much. I'm going to get fat. And you'd be like, yeah, I'd order all this food and I'd hide it till the girls left. You would hide it until the girls left. It was great. I was like, you're just. I'm like, I'm picking up stuff from my friends.

You would get so insecure. I'd bring him to Hollywood parties. And he just wasn't used to how small everybody was in Hollywood. And then one day we're all hanging out. And I'm holding court. This, that, and the other thing. And he was all insecure because he didn't know. He's like, what is this?

And I just get- I was always dress fly though with those things. And you would stand with your legs super spread apart. Still do. And at one point I'm just sitting there talking like that and I just get, you just lean down in my ear. I just hear, I'm enormous. I'm enormous and I don't fit in here.

Is Godfrey here? Whoa! Peli? Whoa! What's up, big dog? Bro, the Nigerian prince up in here? Come on, man. Let's take a little break,

because Chin, you and I are going fishing in Alaska Sportsman's Cove Lodge, sport fishing. We're going to be in Southeast Alaska. I don't even know where that is, but either way we've got, they've got five boats, it's six guests to a boat. They've got a three to one angler to crew ratio. Okay. Meaning you've always got one person for three people.

You have a one-to-one staff to guest ratio for excellent hospitality experience. The food is the best in the industry. It's all locally sourced. The facilities are the best in the industry. So go to alaskasbestlodge.com. They're currently running a sale of $800 off any June dates. There's a discount code of TFATK, T-F-A-T-K, at checkoff for 10% off your first trip. There are a limit of six slots per person.

You buy one, get one, limit of one per person. Uh, June 29th to July 2nd, July 6th to July 9th, July 9th to July 13th. Go fishing. I could have given you a fair amount of 800 dollars. No, ride, duh. Goes a little higher. Yeah. Little ride, no.

Ride, duh. Jank, jank, jank, jank, jank, jank, jank, jank, jank, jank. Good jam. Doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, doon, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank while, because you were in town, I think. Everybody was all over the place, I understand that. I don't know, man. But he would come in. I don't know. I've seen mad clips of you guys. You would come on the weekend,

and we'd be here on Monday, Tuesdays. So, it never worked out. Because you live in New York. Yes, and everybody does, that's what I love about comedians, everybody does their shit on Tuesday, or Monday, the safe days before we have to take off. It's the Tuesday, maybe Wednesday if that but it's usually

Yo, if I get my shit Tuesday, Monday Good, sometimes we're coming back that Monday. That's right That's right. Tuesday is a nice neutral day. I get my buzz cut every Tuesday every Tuesday my boy Yousef my Moroccan barber for 20 years. Damn. He'd be like this, hey, you in LA? LA, that's LA shit. Ah, motherfucker, man, what are you doing? He's Arab and North African.

Yes, yes. You know how legit it is to have a barber that you know you're gonna get a guaranteed good cut every time? Oh, man, I feel handsome when I leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know when you get in, someone does your hair, and you feel handsome? You look the You know when you get someone does your hair and you feel handsome?

You look the same, but you feel more handsome. I go to Floyd's, you can feel the wind. You know what I do? I do a lot of Jason Statham turns when I get my hair cut. I'm like, let's Statham, you know Statham's. And just so they see the thickness of your neck. I wish I had a bar ride girl queue every time and you have a legit haircut

Yeah, every time I go to Floyd's and it's just a crap shoot Well, but when you're in New York, you can walk to your shop in New York When you've been in New York as long as he's he's been you have all your spots Oh the lay of the land goes down and does the he does the cellar. They got four spots now So you're doing four rooms do eight seventy five shows a week You can literally 15 a day and 15 a day. How about that? You can do eight sets 75 shows a week. You can literally. 15 a day. 15 a day. How about that? You can do eight sets a week.

It's a campus now. It's literally comedy campus. You guys are going from spot to spot. There's always an audience. Yeah. After COVID, Village Underground, which is across from Blue Note, they made, it used to be just a bar hangout. I love the Village Underground.

They went, OK, it was music in the bottom. Now it's all comedy. Oh, wow. Then the top, they was like, a bar, hangout. They went, okay, it was music in the bottom, now it's all comedy. Then the top, they was like, the bar is comedy now. And there used to be a pool table, now it's comedy. And the lounge, which used to be a cool ass lounge, comedy. So it's a lounge, bar, downstairs, and around the corner. Stage at every area.

Every area. Dang. That's why there's so many good comms. It's packed. Yeah, New York different. And you can, you literally, because back in the day when you were in New York, what, 98? Yeah, well, 90.

We used to run around the city. It would be all of us, Burr, me, you, Patrice, it was Geraldo, I just saw Jim Norton in the airport. Jim Norton, McQuinn, Mark Marin, Brewer, it was all of us. All of us. Ronda Sykes, all of us running around. Rock was around, everybody was around. Tony Rock, Chris Rock.

And we would do on average in, it'd be five, Gaffigan, five a night. You'd do about five, six shows a night. Do the math. You'd just get in a cab and just go down. 30 something, the 40s up, the comic strips, stand up New York. Just raps.

Boston comedy club. Start up town, go all the way downtown. All downtown, uptown. And then would they pay you like they do now, 25 bucks a spot? What'd you think? 25? A lot more than that.

A lot more than that, 100 bucks, 150 bucks. I've been getting 25. No, I know. No, no, a comic store. So just so you know, a lot of guys in New York, you can pay your rent if you're a regular. That's why I'm saying doing that many sets, I assume, as a working comic.

Yeah, you'll get a couple thousand in your pocket, and this is like a week. And then by the time you haven't even really gone to your ATM yet, and then the next Sunday, you're doing more shows again. So that's why a lot of New York guys are like, fuck the road. Why go the road?

I'll just stay here. Yeah, they'll stay there, which is good, but you want to more shows again. So that's why a lot of New York guys are like, fuck the road. Why go the road? Like, I'll just stay here. Yeah, they'll stay there, which is good, but you want to be, right, there's the caveat. Because my thing, are you a comic? Of course you are, but I'm saying, let's say you're at the comic store, you just played the comic store, you're breaking even, you're making your nut,

but you're not actually a traveling comic, like on the road. Right, you gotta do road. You gotta do half. You have to, you have to do road. You have to know, how am I in Texas? Because New York is great, or even if you're in a store and you're really, it depends on how you're doing

your comedy, how you're working your shit out. Some people waste their time on stage. But you can do good shit in New York, right? I mean, New York makes you sharp, man. It makes you sharp because you're around a tell. You're around and the writing and everything. Even look at guys like Muril and Mark Norman. His fuckers are joke factories, man.

Always working new. I was just with Muril yesterday. And just to watch his new shit, I'm like, god damn. Always writing, always working new I was just with Merrill yesterday and just to watch his new shit I'm like god damn always writing because they're writers because they're not the physical guy like us we're like we do a lot of body shit body shit but he they're just just the writing they're writing so have you seen marks he has a like a stack of papers who just have an idea and write on the paper yeah like he'll go on road you, like I get me like he'll be sitting on it gets out It's literally a fuck. Yeah, like trapper keeper of jokes, right?

Oh, you know I didn't write this yeah, there's guys like that There's guys like us, but they're just on stage all the motherfucking time and you got like a so you're around that shit But then in New York, you got all this good shit reminded of the standard and where the bar is Where the bar is and so but when you go on the road, I tell some of these guys that are going on a road They're hitting a reality check because they go damn. I'm in a half empty room. I go. Yeah, well, that's the reality You're in for it if the algorithm hasn't worked for you. Yeah, you know, but in reality The algorithm hasn't worked for you. You know, but in reality, 99% of motherfuckers are facing empty rooms.

But it's not anything against you. It's gotta work it out. You gotta build that audience. And I remember a guy, I don't know if you remember, oh God, what's his name, Jeff Sewell? Jeff Sewell, well, Houston Improv, Dallas Improv, Tom runs all those. He just bought the San Antonio one, LOL.

Oh, nice. So Jeff Sewell was his. Oh yeah, sure, I'm doing San Antonio in July. Man, I'm finally selling that room out. It took strong seven, eight years. Thank you, sir. Because that's a big ass room with big ass ceilings. Big ceiling, high ceiling.

And the dude that bought it, the dude is a British guy who owns the Lakintas. You know the Lakinta family? He was just bored and his wife liked comedy. He goes, oh, just buy that. Gangster. And real nice guy, Bruce. He just didn't give a fuck, didn't really promote it.

And the guy that runs it is a British dude. I forgot who runs it. Yeah, he's a good guy. And he's like, he goes, yeah, it's just, he just had. Yeah, he's a good guy. And he's like, he goes, yeah, he just had it and then he left, he retired and they moved and so Tom who owns Houston Improv, Dallas and Addison bought that one and now, and he put up a new, a San Antonio sign there.

Oh now it's starting to, it's starting to. That's good, because I'm there July 12, 13, 14. It's starting to, you can feel it. That's a great market too. And it's very, it's very, that demographic is very Mexican, heavily Mexican and all like guys like, what's his name? Like Steve Trevino and those guys, they murder there. Cause it's Mexican.

But now podcast, it's working. I tell people, man, you have it with us guys. I say you gotta have the tenacity of an average comic. Have the tenacity of an untalented comic because they're relentless. 100%. Talented motherfuckers be like, what? Doing that shit.

I don't even know, TikTok? I literally. You gotta start dancing? I tell Brian, you gotta start dancing? Bro, you better catch that. I start dancing. I told Brian, you don't start dancing. You were catching that algorithm. I literally have the attitude of a shitty comic. Yeah. Cause I will do whatever it takes to get numbers. You got to hustle.

And you know, you have, you have, I'm sorry. You got the Ontario improv this weekend. I'm an Ontario improv, which has been a big boy too, but that Latino market. It's been really good to me. Latino market. But it's, I have, Ontario Improv, which has been, which is, That's a big boy too, but that Latino market, But it's been really good to me, Latino market. Yeah. But it's, I have, I, my, my crowds are mixed, which is great. My crowds are always mixed.

Yep. Got a strong African-American presence, strong Latin, it's like, it's always mixed. That's what you want. Even if it's in a strong, like, depending, like if I'm in Baltimore, which is black, like black, strong, it's 85% African American. If I'm in Cleveland, strong,

I still get a mixture of people. That's good. But you always want your own folks. For sure. As your cushion. You ever play up? Always, you want people to look like you to see you. Do you ever play up the Nigerian angle?

Like the fact that I'm Nigerian? I just feel like there are a lot of Nigerians in this country that would come and see you. Yeah, you know what? No. See, cause Nigerians are arrogant. And I'm saying this. They're very, cause they'll be like, why do I have to have five degrees? They're super educated. I know you should come here to wake up to go to work for what's I'm a doctor. I'm an engineer. I have to wake up. I have meetings in're busy, man. I know you, I see you on TV. I can't, that's a bit.

That's 100% true. 100% true. Usman came to see me. Oh, nice. Tomorrow, Usman, you know, I know how to sign. We're Nigerians. Yeah. Usman came.

I love that shit. He was like, yo, dude, I'm in town. I want to come see you. It came like two years ago. Okay. And we hung out and, and, and, but I don't get a whole Russia Nigerians Yeah, yeah, see me. Yeah, so I get I get different Africans on Ethiopia. I'm from Zimbabwe, but it's not a whole bunch It's it's not like super good very conservative. It's not like Joe Coy with the Filipina

I'm a chocke is going to be a fucker. Ah, five minutes. Russell Peters, I'm a. Ah. Nigeria. Africans, shit, they're too hip. It's just like. I almost dig it. Yeah, I almost dig it.

And I was born here too. So they already have that against me. Oh yeah. Like you're not, you are born here. Yeah, it's different. You're not, I mean you are Nigerian. No, listen, you are. You're both, you know, your sister was born here. Yeah, it's different. You're not, I mean, you are Nigerian. No, listen, you are. You're both, you know, your sister was born there.

But you're not. You get it. How do your parents feel? So we just not going to come and see because we don't, we like. And I'm 100% Nigerian. Me and my brother, see, and what's fucked up is I can't even get the civil war,

because my parents left because of civil war. Like, that's most immigrant. Between the EU, Ibo and the Eurobar? Ibo, you know about that? That was the Biafra War in the 60s. I know. This guy, fucking. I know my night shift.

I can tell you stories of me and Brian, how he broke down wine grapes to me. Oh yeah. At fucking Greenblatt's. He was at Greenblatt's. He knows his shit. doing Brian Callegate. Let me tell you about this wine. He knows his shit.

It depends on the weather, it depends on the valley, the fucking vine, the soil. Remember when you go, see this wine here? He knows his shit. He's doing his shit. I've never seen this shit in my life. He, I didn't, and I didn't know. I'm not a big, I'm not a drinker really, at all.

But my ex-girl who's, she's like phenomenal. She was, did Somalia shit, all kind of shit. But, different level. He never, I've never had my shit broken down until, nobody, people missed out on Brian Callan and his fucking jeans and his t-shirt, just this one here's a good one. No, he's still doing it.

No, he's still doing it. This is a man's. He did it last night. But I picked up from him because now, because I used to drink with him and his friends, we'd have wine, I don't know shit. No, he's so cultured, no, Brian's so motherfucking cultured. Like a motherfucker.

Although, I'm also an idiot. I was at a restaurant last night with my wife and Sasa Vojvich, who played for the Lakers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great guy. Sasa Vojavic. Yeah, how do you say his last name? Sasa Vojavic.

Yeah. Vojavic, are you from there? No, but I worked with a. Oh, that's why, she's a Vojavic. I love that guy. Wine is amazing. Did you just meet him last night? No, no, no, I hang out all the time.

Oh, you just met him last night? No, no, he's one of the guys that I always see. Is this Poland, Russia? Slovenian. He's Serbian. So Sasa is one of those guys no, I hang out all the time. Or is it Poland? No, no, he's one of the guys I always see. Is it Poland? Russia? He's Serbian. So Sasha's one of those guys, we ever hang out in Manhattan Beach, but my wife yesterday, we're hanging out talking.

Yeah, he never gets my... You look sad there. Yeah, so we're hanging out, and my wife literally, as I'm standing there, we were talking about wine, because he has a winery called Alexander, and he gave me this amazing bottle of wine, and we're walking, and my wife, how about this is my wife,

literally, Sasha's six seven and my wife goes, I'm sorry, and I go, she goes, are you trying to be taller right now? Your back is so straight and your neck is so long and he started laughing so hard and she's like, and she starts doing this and I was like, you know what, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm trying to get a net, just a couple inches.

But Brian with wine, if you listen, I've heard that bit, I don't know, since putting together a hundred times with the wine stuff, but now I know my shit kind of enough to where I'm around people. This is my go-to, I go, yeah, it's earthy. Yeah. And doing that's enough. There's tones.

That's enough. That's enough where they're like, respect. I go like this,. I'll do this and a lot of times it's about taste. Sometimes I'll go Oh, I like this is smooth for me. Yeah, it's not this there's no aftertaste I'll go actually this is a really good wine. Yeah, just by feel I can do it Yeah, I feel it's not the most expensive doesn't mean it's gonna be the best. Also, the oxidation thing is important. The grapes. Let it breer. Yeah, the breer.

The weather. You're not understanding what you missed. This motherfucker was 20 minutes going to bottle to bottle because Green Blast had a huge. And I had you, I had a captive audience. Oh, and he was like this, right here. This is a wine. This is just wine. But but even halfway in he could be full of shit halfway in your it's Callan Yeah, I know missing is no it's like it's like with it's like when fucking cat Williams did this club

Shae Shae whether he was lying or not. It was Fine because earthquake can't read so you're gonna tell me it was 50 million views it was 70 is this the highest interview in history and and his ticket sales went Oh, yeah, yes 70 just off that no jokes for he's famous forever forever from that forever. Never He's such a cat Williams first of all brilliant comic great comic I've seen that dude do comedy where I was comic store and I was like oh like I it's rare that I'll see somebody go I'm my BJV right now he's that good I was like yeah how the fuck is he this good and he was playing with the there was a band he was doing shit I was like he's just you know what he is he's a

fucking original so he's like it's jazz man he's like cold trains, he's just you know what he is. He's a fucking original. So he's like it's jazz man He's it was jazz. He's like a coal train and he's just he is he's it's like Snoop Dogg. Yeah, it doesn't matter What he does. It's just work. The shit Natural he's also got jokes. He's also got Concepts he's also. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's very But he's a little crazy little crazy Yeah, he's very. Pimpin', pimpin', pimpin'. But he's a thinker.

A little crazy. A little crazy. A little, it's eccentric. Brilliant. Eccentric, but he knows what he's doing. It's organized chaos, you know? And what I love about him is he's a thinker and he's talking real shit.

Even though you hear this and all that, he's like, just like this government poisoning you, mother, he's spittin' real shit. Yeah, agree. He's a thinker like I government, poisoning you mother, he's spitting real shit. He's a thinker like I am, like we're thinkers. He went on Rogan, even on Rogan he was like. Yeah, aliens and the whole. I was hoping he would snap on Rogan. He's always entertaining, he's gonna get you to listen.

It's like he lubricates the ideas with shit where you're like, wait, what's he saying? The way he delivers it. He's not uninteresting. The way it's delivered, it's so easy to consume, where you're like, wait, what's he saying? He's slipping it in. He's not uninteresting. The way it's delivered, it's so easy to consume where you gotta pay attention. And you wanna be in the same room as him. The one dude, and I only spent one evening with him,

with me and Dove Davidoff, the one guy who was, it's rare you meet somebody who's an original thinker who says shit and breaks shit down where you're like, I never thought of it that way, so I just wanted to get to it, Patrice O'Neill. Patrice. Yeah. Oh yeah. That was my guy. He was you guys hung. I man, Patrice, we would go to his barbecue. We had, it's on YouTube, me, Patrice, Hannibal Burris. I think Jim had left and you know, Rich, but we'd go every year.

Rich Voss. Love Rich. Do you like my act? Rich Voss comes in. Give it up for all my opening acts. I haven't seen Rich in a long time. He comes in. I'm in the green room, he goes like this, he walks by and he goes,

make coffee. Would you like some coffee? Just like that. Then he comes back, he comes back, and he goes, no, dude. Just like that. Good part. Hey, tell them what Bob Saget did to you.

Oh, Bob Saget, rest in peace. Two weeks before, two weeks before he died. This is great, though. He's on the plane, he's in first class. And it looks great. You're getting on the plane? Brian's getting on the plane walking past Bob. He walks by, I go, Bob.

He goes, Brian, how you doing? He goes, what are you doing? I go, not much. He goes, where you come from? I was doing a gig, just like, how nice. He goes, where you doing? I go, not much. He goes, where you come from? I was doing, yeah, I was doing a gig. Just like, oh nice. He goes, where you sitting? I go, 8A. And he goes, in coach?

And I go, yeah, I didn't, I couldn't, I had to get the flight, you know. And he goes, then I won. That's so great. And then in front of everybody, I won. I won. What he did, he goes, did you get canceled? I go, yeah, for your comedy or what was it?

He was just brutal. Savage. Savage. I know what I love. Savage. Savage. And the guy walks by, the guy comes out of the bathroom and he goes, that guy walked by farted in my mouth.

You see, right in my mouth. I was just, everything he would say was funny. Everything he'd say was fucking funny. He's never not funny Bob Saget I love I got I got Bob Saget some ass though. I remember that. Yes, we were at some party Damn it was by it was by that What's that? Oh that restaurant off of Beverly damn it Something we're at and we're all there, and Bob's like, he sees this hot ass Asian.

Was it Mastro's or something? Like the steakhouse, what is it? Restaurant. Wally's? By the Beverly Center. Crustacean? By the Beverly, that. Oh, sushi, sushi roe?

It's the breakfast place. Damn it. I'll look up, I'll look it up. It's red. I see red. It's like a restaurant. But we were at some spot right near their party. And he goes, and we're standing there talking.

And he goes, look at that. That chick, holy shit. She was a bad Asian chick, right? I said, I'll go over there and get it for you. He goes, are you serious? I go, I've got you, dog. I just went over there because it was for him. So I was like, so I just went, yes, fool house,

you know, bombs, and I ain't gonna meet you in your shit. You know, want you. She goes, oh, oh, oh. He ended up, I got it for him. He goes, he always goes, God, I will never forget. He's not, he wasn't putting it on he was very Yeah, he but Bob would come off. He'd I never saw him not kill just the way like with you I never saw him not kill room, but he'd get off and go I wasn't nice wasn't that good

I was what the fuck you're talking about so funny Yeah, I won. I remember with Steven right like there's a good one Steven right Steven right would come to the laugh factory So strange guy germaphobe. But I love his album. If I Had a Pony is my album, that first album. One of the most unique voices ever. Ever, and he was like, and he had a big beard, and he's like, hey God, what's up?

I was like, hey, Steven Wright. Do you remember him? You're young, Bob. Steven Wright's Boston legend. Steven Wright was really big in the 80s. Yes. He was huge. He was like, if you were in a car and you were driving. Yeah.

No, I've never seen him. But that's Steven Wright on the right is what we know Steven Wright. That's Steven Wright. Listen to his stand up. Watch. Very thought-provoking. Here you go.

And he was on Carson. During the day of my parking at Tendonet Los Angeles Airport. I park jets. They're gonna let me go though, because I keep locking the keys in them. Today I was on an 86 foot stepladder trying to get in the window with a coat hanger. Is that the kind of shit he would do? It's that type of shit. It's great. I had some powdered water, I didn't know what to add to it.

He did that a lot. It's great. He's like, I had some powdered water. I didn't know what to add to it. Yeah, he did say that a lot. He did say that. That's so stupid. That's just, he's just that kind of- That's how he would think. And then there was, what's his name? Mitch Hedberg. Yeah.

Was not the same, but he's more hippie. Yeah. And did those kind of thought-provoking. I remember being at the back of the Laugh Factory, you know, the area in the back by the bar. Spent a lot of time back there. Yeah. And we see this girl walk by hot as shit.

He goes, that was nice. I was like, yeah. That was nice. He's like this, that was nice. Fucking great. He just threw his, with his Boston hat. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice.

That was nice. That's all he needed. That's all he needed. It's all he needed just to watch it. It reminds me of Morgan Freeman said that about Clint Eastwood as a director. He goes, he goes, he's like, I love Clint. I love Clint.

Cause Clint will see, Clint's not like all these other directors. Clint would go, that's about right. I'm witness of fucking man. He doesn't say, yeah, that's about right. He doesn't say, he doesn't say action either. Really? He goes, okay. But that's so cool. He goes, yeah, that's about good. That's great. Yeah. He's still doing it by the way. He's 94. 94 now. 94. Cause didn't he direct and start in was at Grand. Grand Torino.

He's 94 years old. And he's so old now and he's still doing it. And what a life he's had. What a life. 94. Composing music and everything else. He's an old school motherfucker. I mean, and he dies.

Damn it says children, Scott, Kyle, Francisco, more. Oh yeah, he's got a lot of kids. There's so many kids you gotta click on more. Cause he's with his Latin chick, I think. Yeah, wasn't the best dad apparently. Just like he just was. Well he shouldn't have been. He was riding a horse.

Kill his clad. Clint Eastwood, bro. Outlaw. Josie Wales. Outlaw Josie Wales? Pale rider? I have four Clint Eastwood t-shirts and people just go, yeah. I got the good and bad the ugly I got outlaw Josie Wales

It's the baddest shit said about six lines every every fucking movie and just kind of always looks like he had a headache Fellini film and they said my old manager said that's how you movie stars that you they don't say a lot They it's the close-ups that make them start like Steve Mc don't say a lot. They, it's the closeups that make them star like Steve McQueen. That's a say a lot. Nah, just put the camera on this guy. Hey, look at me. Shut the fuck up. I've never been cool.

You always talk about being a man. You got to fucking act that way. My girl, my girl one time was like, stop trying to be a brooding actor. You're a jackass. Just be that. I want to be a brooding actor. You're a jackass. Just be that. I want to be Chris Walken. Those days of like Clint Eastwood, uh, some of those like Ron's, there was Charles Bronson. The times make men.

Times make me disagree. I think with, with Hollywood and like, cause the fourth wall is broken now. Remember like when I was a kid, I loved Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, there was no, I only saw them in the movies. Or they would jump on Jay Leno for three minutes. But they were unicorns. I didn't know they were politics.

They're not on TikTok making pies. You didn't know they were doing steroids. You were like, that was just how they are. They're just muscular. My dad told me very early. You know what fucked up though? You know what got fucked up? These reality shows ruined

Everything and that reality shows been around 20 something years Yeah, and it ruined it kind of blurred the line now everybody got they were like moving into the real superstars lanes I mean you got people who are literally Like stars that are bums like because we watch them on these dumb relationship shows, right, they'll be like, oh, Summerhouse, and the both of them. Yeah, no talent. Right, and that's, Summerhouse defeated them.

And you're going, wait, Paul Newman, this fucker? Oh, it'd be like red carpet. The situation. 100%. Cool guy, but Jesus, what? The talent level, the barrier of entry, it's like, imagine there was like ten stars in the 80s like legit Start now the red carpet like Leonardo DiCaprio. That's the girl from Real Housewives of Irvine

Yeah, what the fuck? No, no, why are you on the same keeper away from him? There should be two carpets There should be like a fucking purple carpet. Yes Ford bombs. Yes, and then there's a red one There's your talent. It should be it should be rank and file. It should be like, uh, the Olympics, bitch, you're fucking bronze. You lay, you stand on that little shit right there. Does it come back though? Do movies? I don't think, I don't think, I think movies come back. Sorry to interrupt you. No, no, I think the movies come back. I just think the day and age of legit superstars where it's when a movie comes out, you take the family to see it. those days are done. They're done, huh? Well, they even, you know, phase on love, phase on, phase on goes the movie industry

is done. So there's really no industry anymore. I mean, when you see a film, they've already chosen who they wanted. You know, Brad Pitt and all those guys got their people. They go, let's just shoot this. Now they're consolidating too. So the days of actors making money and shit are gone To your point do like Brad Brad Pitt you see a movie he owns a production studio that at this point

Yeah this point now he's at that level and I'm can wake up and go I want to shoot something. Mmm Fuck it. They're billion. This guy's you know, but I don't think it's good I don't like I think like you'll see kids like on, on YouTube or tick tock and I sound like an old fart, but it's just like, man, that's not stardom that's not, no, it's not. That's not good, but it goes back down to bottom line numbers. Look at, I always do this little comparison. I call it.

I always have this character called Sock Puppet Pete. Because you'll go to a, let's say you go to like what improv, right? You know, you've been pumping it up, right? Tickets are decent. Hey, good numbers. Good. Yeah. You go to, you go, yo man, you had this guy, Sock Puppet Pete, man. He was here.

He sold out like 11, added new shit. You added shows, man. Sock Puppet Pete. And you see this motherfucker with a puppet, like, you're like, he sold out like 11, added new shit, you added shows, man. Sock puppet Pete, and you see this motherfucker with a puppet like, you're like, who the fuck is that? He started last week, bro. Yeah, he's like, he got the algorithm, man. Dude's huge on TikTok, got about like 100 million on this one thing he did with a sock puppet,

and it's fucking, and it's like some dude going, ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya! Yo, he had a matinee show, he had a four, he had a five o'clock, and six o'clock, seven o'clock. Fuck, it's sock-puppet Pete, and I gotta watch a picture of him, and there's no picture of me in this club,

but it's sock-puppet's like, it's promoting his dates. You're so right, bro. Promoting his dates. You're so right. Hey, man. That's what's. You're in his mouth, just a tiny picture of you in his mouth. But you know what, you know why that stuff

doesn't bother me too much? How come? It doesn't last. It won't last. How long you say you've been doing it? Oh, God. How long you been doing it? Shit.

Seven years. To a 30. For real. Charlie Chaplin. You're doing with Charlie Chaplin. Yeah. So you have the skill set and the talent where it's gonna go on when you're 20s to your 80s.

It's starting to go on. Oh, that's not going to, it's starting to do it. Oh no. Listen. My buddy said that about like not to be, but with comics, like my buddy said, you can perform anywhere for any audience, anywhere in the world, and you're going to make them laugh. No matter what. You don't need your own audience. You can go. I can go. And I was like, don't matter. Don't matter.

We got it in our pocket. It's a certain skill set. It's a certain skill set stage. Yeah, it's like it's like the really good mechanics Like you're always gonna have a job. Yeah, we're always gonna have a job like but it's like, thank god Fuck. Yeah, you might not get paid the most but you're always gonna be able to work I was gonna say I had a thought and I forgot shit. I interrupted you because I was talking No, it's I had a I had a good thought too about shit. I interrupted you because I was talking about it. No, I had a good thought too. Oh yeah, when I was in Houston Improv, Jeff Sewell, he doesn't manage the clubs anymore.

He used to take us to press and all this other shit. He was there since the 80s. I mean, there's a picture of him and Brad Garrett in 89. He was the guy that took us to press and was managing. The worst. So he doesn't do it anymore. But he broke down, because he was,

we were like hanging out, because we'd hang out at Montreal. He was like, we hung out. We would go eat, we were foodies. So we'd go eat all the Texas rib places. And he would, one time we were at the, in the office, to like one in the morning, he was breaking down shit.

He goes, you see this comic here? He's always bitching about how come I don't put, oh man, why don't you book me? I go, and he goes, let me tell you to deal with this shit. He broke it all down. He says, we are a beverage and food company. Restaurant. That's a restaurant.

The comedy just happens to be there. That's it, correct. We trying to get, you know how much we sell that shit? We make our money off the drinks and food. He showed me the overhead. He goes, this is what we spend on fries. I go, this is what we spend on the drinks. Now we got electricity to run.

Then we got staff. So now we go, who's gonna pay this bill? So we go and look at the tiers of comics. Okay, we'll bring Gabriel in for this one, to knock this out. This person, we have 52 weeks, right? So what do we do? We get this person, this person, this person,

and then you got guys like myself, oh, you're right under these, because they're a little more famous than you, it's fine, but you guys do still good numbers. So your shit could go here, you know, you guys are always consistent BAM. You got this then you got well If we make it enough money, we got a surplus with all these people we've made enough now We can bring in people we want to groom that are really good, but they don't have an audience But they're funny. Yes, so we can spare that or we could if someone drops out, we can get a real headliner,

give them a chance. So he broke it all down. He said, so don't take this shit personal. If you think on the business side, but they don't teach us that. Now people are learning because of social media, we're learning our own stats, we're taking the product straight to the people now.

But before we were like just told, go do well. Go out there, go to your acting classes, get on that stage. Us managers and agents will take care of the rest. Well, you and I didn't grow up with any social media. Fuck no, not there. And even when that Twitter and all that shit, even with Facebook, Myspace, we were all like, I was like, what, I don't do that.

And then Dan's coach was like, yeah. Myspace that and in days to that that was like yeah my space Yeah, fucking and wrote it wasn't far behind wrote it was always a techie He was always super into tag that Robert Kelly to by the way. Yeah, Kelly was like one of the first guys He taught a lot of people podcasting. I mean his Way, I want to as funny as fuck. Yeah, I just saw him the other day. Robert Kelly, another guy. Another journeyman. Oh dude.

Who's been, came out of the Boston comedy circuit, was in the, no it was in a troupe with Dane Cook. It was Al DelBene and the Monkees. Al DelBene. In Boston. How's Al DelBene doing? He's in Australia. What's he doing there? With his wife. Fuck. He probably Al Delbeni doing? He's in Australia. What's he doing with his wife? He probably talks like that now.

No, I was just there. He's gonna come back with that. Yeah, that's Al Delbeni. You know Al. Al's a boy. He came up with Kelly. Yeah, man. And and they cook they all they were in a troop a Comedy troupe how del Benio monkeys so he probably has this Australian fucked up Boston accent dad. Yeah, we have damn there with his wife. His wife is Australian He used to work at the laugh Factory They just he just just he's out. He's been there maybe 10 years for him I don't know if he's not maybe he can get famous like Arj Barker over there He's Trevor Arj. Yeah Arj got huge cuz it's like that big different. He's probably huge in the path Yeah, Oh Breeze been kind of Godfrey. What would you do? Yeah Arj man? Arj Arj moved to fucking great here and he's massive over there. Wow good for him. He's

Massive over there are just been Good for him. He's massive over there. Arges and like sometimes like Bob Marley, another. What? He keeps rushing it in New England. And he's in the main New England area and he's a millionaire. He's just playing those. He's a millionaire. I'm not saying he doesn't go anywhere else, but Bob goes Godfrey. I don't go to many places there at Godfrey.

I just stay right here, right, Maine. I'm right for him. He's amazing. He's an old man. And he's inside. He's an old man. He has 9,000 stories. There are people that just decide to do that.

Like, like, uh, I can't, um, Doug Stanhope, like I was friends with his manager and she said, he just decided I'm not doing comedy clubs anymore. I'm not doing it. I'm just going to clubs anymore. I'm not doing it. I'm just gonna rent Why because because he's because he's Doug Stanhope, yeah, he's fuck off He'll do what he wants. He's posted down Instagram the other day goes guys You know, my wife and I woke up decided that we were gonna do happy hour from 7 a.m. To 11 11 a.m. and then we'll go to sleep.

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I like to travel and do a stage. I like that. After all these years. Yeah. It's like, it's like, it's, I like leaving. It's I'm addicted to it. I like leaving. I'm not, listen, I'm not saying I want to.

Well, now it's cool because you're making, I'm making it's awesome. Yeah. You know, all your hard work is man is pan the fuck off comparing to deserve it to where like, okay, we're going to pay you this flat fee of nyan nyan. If you bonus now I'm doing door shit. You know, it's an, I go 80%, 85% difference because I got on social media and it really happened during COVID. I was like, you know,

Dame Dash is, oh yeah, Dame Dash, Hover, that was Dame Z's partner. You know Dame. You know who he is. He's, Dame Dash was the him and, it was Rockefeller. Aliyah. Dame Dash. Like, Dame and Dash. He was on line during COVID, right, the beginning of COVID.

And he was like, talking to one of his boys, I was watching his live. And he goes, so what are you gonna do, man? What are you gonna see? He goes, listen, let me tell you something, man. And he talks like talking to one of his boys. I was watching his live and he goes, so what are you going to do, man? What are you going to see? He goes, listen, let me tell you something, man. And he talks real fast. He goes, let me tell you something.

See all us artists right here, the industry shut down. If you ain't fucking creating, you a dumb motherfucker. I'm telling you, it's our time right now. I was like, I ran with that shit. And I was on live every single day. With a hand puppet. And I was on live every single day. With a hand puppet. And I was on, yeah. Put two eyes on a puppet.

It was like. Hey man! It's the Godfrey hour. I was trying not to move my mouth. And this is crazy man, you know? I can't stand that. Why man? You know how it is.

You know, hookers just try to do all that shit. I know what you're saying man. But listen Pete. That's very good. But dude, I'd watch that. I'd watch that. I'd watch that. Bro, you should do Godfrey's Bad Puppet Hour. I swear to God, I might do that.

Well, what's up, man? Welcome to the puppet show. Don't pay attention to my mouth. It's not about me. It's about right here. Focus right here. Fuck all that. I ain't got time for the ventriloquism.

Now, what's up, man? This is my soft puppet. Godfrey, that's so good. It's just right here, focus right here, fuck all that. I ain't got time for the ventriloquism. Now, what's up man? This is my soft puppet. God, man, that's so good. It's just like, you have a tiny audience. Bro, that was good, man. That was good. I have some notes.

What's your notes, man? We really appreciate that. Yeah, man, I just want to, it's more of a compliment. Like even if your mouth was moving, like I didn't notice your mouth. I mean, you know, and so I was noticing the puppet, especially when you told me to notice the puppet and not look at your mouth, like it was intimidating,

but in a good way. We talk at the same time. Sorry. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We synchronize. It's what we do. Right now, is the puppet talking or are you talking?

Whatever. Okay. That's in your mind. Whatever. That's the mystery, the whole thing. Too many puppeteers like to hide behind walls and I bullshit we know you back there why not keep it real yeah he out there let him know I connected man it's all been a fucking scam happy to see him puppeteering is a scam yeah yeah man Kermit the frog all the motherfuckers. It's a dude back there You ever looked at how much Jeff Dunham makes oh, I know

Very aware of how much he's always on Forbes top five. He's right now. He's making 20 20 million. Listen. Listen He has an island full of puppets He lives on an island where all the puppets he lives with them. It's a town Everything has an island. Yeah He drives the team 170 he races around I went out last time was I stand up live We I was going to Phoenix. I hear you. I was doing stand up live. I was there for a weekend Mm-hmm, and we're going out dude press something, and you know, it's the stadium where the fucking Phoenix Suns play is across the street. It's back, it's two o'clock.

And I go, who's the Suns? It's not, them days I haven't seen them. They go, oh, it's Jeff Dunham. I go, it's two o'clock, Leo. He has a two, a six, and a eight. What? And he sold out six shows. Jesus Christ!

I went, but no, but it's two o'clock. Yeah Yeah, 20 years see the puppet stuff stud you can have children there too, that's what they said There's a family family. He's a two o'clock show Gabriel glaciers l Dodger Stadium So that he's very clean. Yeah, and he's very likable with fa and think about it. Kids are coming. Families are bringing their children. The revenue is different. Like a lot. A lot of neesh. They're a niche comics. I'm not a niche guy. I I I I'm good for everybody. But it's niches. You make more money like quicker being a niche and Nigerian. They're not coming. No, they're coming. But they're, okay, that's nice.

Part of what makes you unique is that I can't pin you down. No. Right? So, like, I can't. And that comes with blessings and it comes with its own liabilities in terms of, it's hard to market that sometimes. Yeah. And well, we're doing it ourselves. We're marketing, I market. I remember doing a, I had a meeting at Comedy Central. It was like, you know how Comedy Central,

it just doesn't relate to us anymore? I was like, what's going on? They used to be cool with premium blend. They used to be the best. They used to be the best. They used to be the best back in the day. Take chances. Yeah, there was a lady there that was so wonderful.

She really got comedy. And I had a meeting there that was so wonderful. She really got comedy and And I had a meeting not that long ago. They wanted me to meet I was like what for it was like my manager Like it wasn't me. I go for what I don't even understand comedy central anymore. Not putting it down I just don't they don't fuck with guys like us So I went in there and I told my manager, I said, watch the bullshit that happens and you're going to see what I'm talking about. You think I'm lying when some of these meetings are fucking waste of time.

Watch how far off they are. And so he goes, right, the guy walks in, some young dude, hey, what's up? With a fucking clipboard. It's always great. What do you even do with that? I was on stage at one in the morning murdering an international crowd and I'm talking to a fuck boy

with a clipboard in the morning. This is the shit that fucking pisses me off. So I'm sitting there like, and he goes, hey, what's up? And I go, hey, what's up? You tell me, you know how you go, you tell me. That's all I said, right? So he's like, yeah, man, I said,

I just want to know why I'm here. I go, no. That's all the chit question. We're fans. Why'd you bring me in? Oh, but I said? I go, no. We're fans. We're fans. I go, oh, but I said I noticed that a lot of your, the stuff that you have on TV, it's nothing that has to do with my style. It's just not my taste or anything.

He goes, no, but we think, I go, I don't know. And my manager's sitting there, right? His name's Caryl, he's just sitting there listening. And he had to go, yeah don't know, and my manager's sitting there, his name's Cure, he's just sitting there listening. And I go, yeah, he goes, well we have comics, you know, we got Adam Levine, I go, Adam's not a stand-up comic. He's a funny guy, but he's not a stand-up comic. And my manager goes, yeah, he goes,

I notice everybody on here is not a stand-up, what are you talking, he just starts snapping. He goes, they're not stand-ups. I go, yeah, nobody's a stand-up, he goes, I come not a stand up. What are you talking, he just starts snapping. He goes, they're not stand ups. I go, yeah, no, nobody's a stand up. I come from a different school. And he goes, well, what school do you come from? I go, funny motherfuckers. That's what I said to him.

I said, funny motherfuckers. That's all I know. I just know we're killers. I get on stage and I destroy rooms. I don't understand anything else. That's what I do. I didn't give a fuck about the meeting. anything else. That's what I do. I didn't give a fuck about the meeting. Of course not.

I said that's what- Because you know it's not going anywhere. Right. But there's also power in that. Like you walk out, it's like, oh, he's dangerous. Remember when Morgan Freeman, he kept trying to get appeals in Shawshank. And he goes, you know what, I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, yeah, you're a fag. Stab you little shit, and then he got out. He got out. That's what it is. I don't give a fuck. Well, also, you're a fucking stanky. Stamped you a little shit, and then he got out. He got out. I don't give a fuck. Well, also, part of it is I was with my wife, and Kenny Chesney, I think, that came on the radio. Kenny Chesney. Massive.

Yeah, massive. What are you on about? Massive, massive. Chesney. Kenny Chesney. But his song was something like this. I don't wanna put it. He's easy now.

I'm not putting him down. He's massive. I'm not putting them down either. You know there's like Swifties? Yes, yes, yes. I think, what are they? Chesneys? I'm not putting them down. The Chesneys?

The song was something like this. Without, without, I'm not going to do a good, but again. But it was, the lyrics were something like, I'm in the back of my truck with a beer in my hand and I'm sitting here looking at my girl. Who I like. She's going to be the girl for me. She's coming up over the hill, whatever it is. And I'm like, this is the song though. Is this song called literal?

Is this song called super literal? Is this song called no metaphor? Is this song called obvious words? You don't know what you're talking about. And I'm like, I can't listen to this. How is he this popular? And that's why you're not selling out stadiums. You're trying to do a thousand things.

I can't get it. Kenny Chesney's been relevant for 30 years. No, no, but sometimes when you stay simple and you stay formulaic. His thing's catchy and it's also his audience. So if he came out with this new like jelly romance. I'm saying, I'm saying. He's one of Chitton's absolute favorites by the way.

He's so offended. I love, but the way you say it, it was like a Tim McGraw song. Okay, I don't know. You know that the barbecue stand on my white t-shirt, she was. But a lot of the super talented songs are. But listen.

But they're all literal. But you have, you have the Gabler, which is the recriter. Great song. On a warm summer's evening. That's a great song. On a train bound for nowhere, I met up with the gambler. We were both too tired to sleep.

And we both took a stand right at the window in the darkness. The boredom overtook us. He began to speak, he said, son, I made a life of reading people's faces, knowing what the cards were, by the way they held their eyes. And if you don't mind me saying. What are we doing, dude? What?

Do country music. You got a nice voice. It was fucking, I was into it. You not into it? I'm not told that, that's why. That's a great song because that tells a story, there's a metaphor in it. So I got a question.

What's a real song? Did the gambler die or did he just fall asleep? You know who's the other guy who sang this song? In his final words. Who's the other guy talked about, did exactly this? Remember he said, in his final words, I found an ace that I could keep, you got to know. I mean that song is probably

Country song I agree with you. It's the coldest shit It's so dope because you picture it cuz he's talking to the gambler He says if you don't mind me give me give me for a taste of your whiskey. I'll give you some advice I made a life of reading people's faces knowing what the cars were. It's like metaphor I'm gonna home and listen to that. I'm going to listen to that in my car. Listen to it. It says the short answer is he did die at the end of the song. He died.

That's the short answer. So he did die cause he goes, and in his final words I've found an ace that I could keep. You got, so I'm thinking he died. That was his last. That's a great song. It's so good. You need to go home and do your homework on Kenny Chesney. You need to go home and do your homework on Kenny Chesney.

You go home. Yeah, I'm sure I do. You educate yourself. I'm just saying that song, I was like, hmm, this is not a good song. Slappers. Well, I think, I think, I think a lot of the country stuff is kind of trash

personally, because I grew up with Johnny Cash and you grew up under Conway Twitties and the, and the Merle Haggard's, they don't even make music. You know your music, bro. And Merle Haggard's they don't even make you know your music, bro And Merle Haggard was actually in when he did his Folsom prison album. Merle was a prisoner an inmate Oh, he was in the whole haggard was in jail. He was yeah, he was in these are white trash motherfuckers This is this is when jails were filled with white dudes. Yeah When they actually did crimes when Johnny Cash did they probably should be in Quentin too. Yeah. When they actually did crimes. When Johnny Cash did that.

They probably should be in there. Quentin too. Yeah, my boy named Sue. Yeah, my boy named Sue. There's a couple guys like that in country now. Like Chris Stapleton's up there. Zach Brian. Zach Brian's like a Johnny Cash, I feel like.

They both have that folk-y thing going on. A lot of people think he's. Yeah, but Murl was an inmate and got inspired by Johnny Cash and started, Ogie from Muskogee that he was inspired by being in prison watching Cash play. I mean I grew up on this shit. We all grew up, these were on the radio man. He-Haw was playing.

You grew up in New York? Chicago. Gotcha. I grew up in Chicago and but you had He haul which was on on TV and you had like the the barber man drill sister Matt they had people had variety shows the Allman Brothers the Jackson's Sonny and shit they had shows on TV filled with talent tap always on TV Con Twitter, George Jones, Roy Clark, Buck Owitz. They were on television.

And you knew them all. There was only so many channels. Yep. There's four channels. There's only so many channels. That's so true. And you knew them all. You know, David Blaine said something to me about,

like he was doing magic. He was doing magic, right? Right. And he said to me, he goes, he said, you know, if we're living in a time when I would do a magic trick and it would trend for three fucking years, I would levitate, and everybody talked about that for three years.

He goes, I do a magic trick now, anything I come up with now, he said, if I'm lucky, two days. And the algorithm. Yeah. He started swimming with great white sharks to hit the algorithm. You know what I'm saying?

That's when I was like, oh, we're fucked. Yeah. When social media changed, when Will Smith was like, what's this social media thing? I'll do it. And you know, I'm posting, driving my car, hey big gulp. Will Smith like, no, let me try it. An actual talented, creative dude with a team,

a production team. But he already has billions of fans. That's what I'm saying, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, you need, he's jumping out of the building. It's like going to yoga class and a ballerina's in it. I go, you bitch, you don't need this like I do. You don't need this like I do. We're either doing a split, yeah, you're a ballerina, cheater.

What'd you think of that, yeah, come on. When Hollywood got into it, when Will Smith started, he took it to another level. Did they last a while? Will Smith? Oh yeah. Until he slapped the guy. It's like, shh. Yeah, yeah, that slap, what'd you think of that slap? Did you,? Oh, like Will Smith? Yeah. Oh yeah. Until he slapped the guy. Yeah, yeah, that slap, what did you think of that slap?

You know, you know Rock. I know Rock and I know Will. I've met him a few times. Will, very nice guy. But, and I know Will's best friend, Charlie Mack, who's pretty much the mayor of Philadelphia. Charlie Mack is his guy. Charlie Mack knows where Will is all the time.

That's my guy, you know? But I thought that was ridiculous. I thought it was fucking weird. When I saw it happen. So cringy. Some people, and Cat Williams said some stuff is planned. He believes, some people believe it was set up. I go, unless it's just some ritual you're supposed to do

of embarrassment, I go, that is the, can you, why would Chris sign up for that? Like, no, no, I know. Cause Will is six, like, God. Yeah, Will's big. Will's a, he's not a small dude. Fresh Prince of Bel-

I remember when Will Smith, I used to do this show called Thunderbox. It was me and Eric Neist. If you know Eric Neese from the first, what is that, the reality show in MTV. Real world. Real world. The first real world with Heather B.

I did a show with Eric Neese. We hosted Thunderbox. It was like a boxing show with points, almost like a game show, but real boxers. And Will came to hang with us when he was training for Ali. And he was big, man. He was big.

He came and sat in the booth with us. Put some muscle on. And the boxing federation hated all of us because we were there for the comedy. They were like, and you can see these boxes. You know the old boxers, ain't no, that shit ain't funny, man. What you doing, man?

You clowning us, man. You know those boxers that have been beat? They're like, man we watched that clown shit. That from Clown, I said we need to stop. No, I said it's done. They will fuck us up. Cause this is not a, this is some grimy shit. Boxing is grimy.

And I go, we need to stop. They're not enjoying this shit. They're like, man we don't like all that clown shit. I'm telling you, better cut that shit out. Yeah, they're like man. We don't like all that clown shit. No, I'm telling you but cut that shit out I was like we are have a gangster We are gonna cut because boxers still know how to fuck we are you fighters you fighters know how to fight forever They don't stay don't know not know how to knock out. They still know how to beat show ass Yeah in an organized fashion correct. Yeah, it's not wild. It's like bomb. I'ma hit you in the inside of your thigh

fashion correct yeah it's not wild it's like bomb I'ma hit you in the inside of your thigh picture here counter it's it's all perfectly organized where your body's like yeah yeah it's not like some and you have no idea until you get hit furniture ain't moving nothing you know a bad fight is when furniture is moving These motherfuckers be, bong! He's got furniture. He's got furniture. This motherfucker got pinpoint accuracy. He doesn't need to. He knows exactly where to hit you. He'll just grab you. Just in, just in.

Michael Robb, Michael Robb Bort tried to fight him. Tried to go close and grab him. And Brandon went, why? What do you want to do? You want to put me in a headlock? I've never been in that situation. Why? And then he did. He tried to put you in a headlock? I've never been in that situation. Okay. Why? And then he did.

He tried to put you in a headlock and he got his rib popped. Yeah. Well, he didn't mean to, but he just pulled, he just pulled. But it's just their natural, it's like, once a soldier, always a soldier. You can't do that. Don't play games with these guys. As we say in France,

it's a disaster. It's a disaster. It's a disaster. Really. Dangerous. It's dangerous. Dangerous. Dangerous. Yes, I speak French. You speak French? dangerous. You speak French?

Yes, I speak French. You speak French? Yes, I speak French. It's very difficult. I lived in Lebanon. I lived in Lebanon when I was a little boy. I lived in Lebanon when I was a little boy. I lived in Lebanon when I was a little boy.

I lived in Lebanon when I was a little boy. The more you know, the more went there. You lived in Lebanon for how long? Five years. The more you know? Your count speaks French. I know you, I've done Beirut with O'Reilly. I did with Nimu Abdel Nasser. Bro.

We did Beirut years ago. We gotta do, I was thinking about you, because I'm getting these offers to come to Saudi Arabia and places. I did Jeddah with P was that with with Polly Shore Okay, I did it with did you have to stick to you have to be careful. Oh, yeah, they were like Oh, yeah, like I like a lot. Yes It's just do clean shit. Just don't don't know my god. Don't don't make fun of the yeah. It's like an easy one

It's like don't go. Hey, I want to fuck one of your bitches. No, these people here, you won't, you'll be missing. Don't play with them. Shultz. He said he went down there, B. Oh, he did. Yeah. Shultz went down there. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a good time. You know, watch your P's and Q's. Yep. Just, just, just, just Saudi Arabia. So I live in, they don't care. Yeah. You went from Lebanon to Saudi?

Yep. And that was in CIA. Your father, you see Banker, banker. CIA, though. Ah, yeah, I see. He from that good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, banker.

So you lived in Saudi, you were just jet setting. All international. But my mother would immerse us in the culture. So my mother would speak all, my mother speaks fluent Arabic. My mother speaks, she speaks Spanish. She speaks French, she speaks Italian. Dang!

She learned Urdu. Sick! When we Italian. She, she learned Urdu when we lived in Pakistan. She learned Urdu. Because Urdu and I think Urdu has some Arabic influences. So we, we would, when we were in those countries, my mother would make sure we ate the food, we had friends from that. We never, we weren't on an American base. We weren't an American base. We weren't an American compound. We would, my mother was to her credit would literally, so I remember being

in Saudi Arabia and the Bedouin, the original, the Bedouin, like they tall wrapped in nothing but white sheets and they can live in that desert with no problem off their camels and goats. No problem in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of nowhere. Dates, bread that they make there and, and camel milk and all year. It's bad ass. And truths of citizens. But my mother, I remember my mother, she spoke Arabic.

They couldn't believe this little white lady. And she took me by the hand and we were in the dunes, you know, the San Francisco hell. Yeah. And she took me and they fucking, when they saw that this white American woman who spoke their language was bringing her son and giving her son an experience, dude, they opened the, when you do that to the Arabs, they will open, they will give you their whole life. They will give you their,

they will learn their culture. Cause Americans, dude, we ate goat, which they never do that We had a goat grab we sat there they everything because yeah, usually when Americans over there. We're doing some other Americans are arrogant as far I remember being Egypt I went to win over to that went for the pyramids, you know Just to go see and I remember being in his in these army trucks to take us to the pyramids There's this dude from Boston, Irish guy, fucking yappin'.

I go, and they're singing songs in Arabic, which are beautiful. You're like, ha-be-be, ma-hal-ee-ba-ya. I was like, yo! It was beautiful. Because I'm Nigerian. Get out of here.

I'm Nigerian. Nigerian, and always having, and my uncle was very famous, a Nigerian singer. My uncle, Sonny Okosun and my I have an aunt that's really famous too. That's very famous in Nigeria singer So international music was always part of us and my friends were in Chicago All my friends were immigrants because you know Chicago's most segregated city Yeah, you know this day Arabs in Chicago and in that area too. There was a lot of, my friends were all immigrant children. So I appreciated all kinds of music. So this dude sitting next to me, he's going,

oh what the fuck man, I go, I said you need to shut the fuck up man. I said you need to, that boss. I said you're in Egypt. That boss is what you doing. My man, keep your motherfucking mouth. And he kept talking. These guys were like, hey my friend, what did I say?

Hey man, he's cool, no price, a habibi no. They go, what are you doing, bro? They're peeping what the fuck you're doing. You're playing games here. He shut up, because one guy said, my friend, we don't want, yeah, he just went off and I said. Scary. I said, I said, Sharmut. I tried to call him Sharmut. I said, he's Sharmut. They were like, ah! It and I said scary. I said I said Sharmoot I

Shall call him Sharmoot. I said he's Sharmoot. They were like, ah It means you're a whore. Yeah, you're a whore. Or you say howl like howl. They're all roasts I said you howl, he's howl like Sharmoot. But if you show the Arabs if you if you smile and they take you into your house Yeah, they will protect you. No doubt about family, right? Morals, traditions. African families, Arabs. Italians, same way. You come in their home, they offer you food. You don't say no. I remember saying no. And the food in Egypt, the food in those countries is fire. It's amazing. I was like, Jordan, what? The food was so fucking good.

People don't even understand how good it is. Fresh. Dude, it's so good and they're so great. And yeah, that's what I always say. That's what I always say. Speak a little bit of Arabic, try a little bit hard. One phrase. Forget it. They lose. Like, okay.

Well, you're showing them respect. Yes. Like you said, when Americans come to those countries, when other people come to those countries, we're dominating, man. Especially if you're Arabic, you're so used to, your history was subjugation by the Ottomans, subjugation by the French're so used to, your history was subjugation by the Ottoman, subjugation by the French, subjugation by the British,

subjugation by the Americans. Taking advantage of the land. It's real shit. Now Saudi Arabia's becoming, fuck, and they're using their money. They're not playing. They're taking shit over. China, when I was in China, same thing in China,

I was Beijing, Shanghai, and they, they make you pronounce shit properly. They were like, so, who are your favorite actor? You have no Chinese actor? I said, yeah. I said, I love, here they say chow yin fat. They were like, no, chow yin fa. That's how we say it.

Chow yin fa. Chow yin fa. You're like, my bad. No, but, Chow Yun Fa. That's how we say it. Chow Yun Fa. Chow Yun Fa. You're like, my bad. No, but that's protecting the culture. You have such good accents. You have a very good fucking accent. It's like Chow Yun Fa. And they say, what is that? Lee Shownu.

It's Bruce Lee. Because I was like, we love Bruce Lee. I was like, Lee Shownu? I said Lee Shownu? And Jackie Chan is Chow Long. I was pronouncing shit. They were like, that love Bruce Lee. I was like, Lee Xiao Long, I said Lee Xiao Long, and Jackie Chan is Chow Long. I was pronouncing shit. They were like, that's what we call him. They were making sure we pronounced the shit.

Did it right. Did you like it over there? I did like it over there. I have no desire to go there. I liked it. Shanghai, that architecture is fire. Shanghai's very different than KC. Really?

What? Listen, I went with my buddy who loves Asian women, so he literally is. Shanghai's very different. Really? What? Listen, I'm I went with my buddy who loves Asian women. So he's he literally is he's in heaven. He's named Rampage Jackson proud fetish. She motherfuck. He goes, Yep. He goes, I love the subservience. I love the porcelain sky. Love the little hair. He's white dude. My boy Nils, one of the funniest human beings. He's like, Oh, yeah, he goes, Yeah,, I've been to Korea with him, Tokyo with him. We go, he loves, he loves Asian women so much, he took Korea classes just so he can mack down

some of the Korean flight attendants. I know some guys like that. White, listen. That's commitment, man. I don't have it in me. White dudes with Asian women, that's the new couple. Yeah, you bet. My whole building in Manhattan is white dudes

with Asian women. There is a website called ugly white guy with Q Asian girl. They're not, they're not guys that look like you. No, they're, they're not this with hot with some banging ass Asian. You know, I started that Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah. Because he's Zuck started it. It. Zuck started it. Then the rest of the nerds went, okay. Yeah, yeah.

And they copied it. And some of them look like these, they're not like, okay, I get it. It's just, you know how you know guys can just get girls no matter what race? Yeah. Nah, man, this dude's like, ayy, and they're petting them, ayy. Pet them. Pet them. Ayy.

And they're petting them. I see them pet the girls. Yo, listen, you do cobs, which is fantastic. It's cobs as the shit. Cobs, I go, I went on stage and I go, I'm a regular cobs, I go, I said, man, San Francisco, this is white man's heaven right here. All these Asian women. And these girls went crazy,

because these Asian girls going, fuck yeah, thank you for saying that shit. That's so true. I'm having right here all these Asian women. And these girls went crazy, because these Asian girls going, fuck yeah, thank you for saying that shit. And they go, and I'm telling you. The guys I was just thinking about who love Asian chicks are in San Francisco. They go, it's like white man's heaven, bro.

I don't have an Asian, I've been on with Asian women. I don't have a fetish for them. I have a fetish for just pure women. It's just like, fuck it. I'm an equal opportunity employer. I don't have a fetish for them. I have a fetish for just pure women. It's just like fucking. I'm an equal opportunity employer. I mean I love. Hot's hot. I have a more.

Hot's hot. I'm more having a fitting to black women because it's just I like black women, but I love women period. I've been out with all kinds. And it's just women, I don't have a fetish. Ooh, I saw you with the Asian girl. I go yeah, because she's hot.

It's a woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Correct. Yeah, what's your type, hot? Yeah, hot is my type. I don't care what ethnicity, color. As long as they have a certain. The copy of those breathing motherfuckers. As long as there's a certain.

Same guy. Yeah, yeah, there's a look. I don't care. I like that. Yeah, and they can be whatever ethnicity. It can be a girl in the clan, is she bad? I'll take that chance. I'll take that chance.

When's the meeting over? You might be ready. What time you get out? Well, my father said, I'm gonna fuck your daddy. This is when pussy is the best. When's the meeting done? Yo, this is when the ass is best. We'll talk about this after I'm done.

You ever sneak a fuck? Fuck. You ever sneak a fuck? Sneak a fuck. You ever sneak a fuck? Just sneak one. Just sneak one. Just sneak one. I think sex is even better when it's forbidden.

Forbidden. Yeah. Forbidden fruit. I like the one. I like that apple. Yeah, I love it. I've been with chicks that were like, oh my God, my dad, I go good.

Oh yeah. Say it again. I go, it's like this, you know how much game you gotta have to have a racist father and I still macked you down. Yeah. So true. So true. You know what I'm saying?

That's why. Where's your dad at now? Say it. Where's your dad at now? Where's your dad at now? Where's the toothpick? Let me tell you something. There's dudes that have like just style.

Like there's guys that just got swag. Don't fucking matter. They just got it. But I used to tell, I used to say, I used to tell white cops, I go, let me tell you something, man. Let me tell you something. Why black dudes got the most swag.

Because usually, everybody's daddy's telling you to stay away from us. So, when we get you, do you know how much motherfucking skill you got to have risking your family fucking heirloom? Fuck you talking about? I'm still smashing it, you know your daddy will string you up? Huh?

Different. Huh? Do you understand that? So naughty. So forbidden, borderline illegal. Because one thing about white dudes, you guys are almost in on everything almost all the time. You're like, white guy. Oh, he's white. Yes, this is good. Good. You're already at the top. You still controversial if it's a black dude.

Yes, black dude is like, we just want to talk. No, we just want to make sure, is he in school? We just want to make sure you're safe. That's right. You know another thing, you know another thing, you know what's funny? I love this damn podcast already. You know how I know women that have dated black men that are non-black?

You know how I know they have? They walk funny? No, not no. They walk funny? They walk them. No, I'm not even bullshitting you. Maybe if someone will say I'm wrong, but it's the, when women are like,

from different, like if it's Asian women, everyone, when they're a little timid of black dudes, I go, oh, they date white guys. They've dated, they've never dated a black dude, because there's a timidness of them. There's a fear. Whenever a girl is very like, very confident to me, I go, you've dated black men before.

Yes, I have. Because the fear is gone. You got through the fear, yeah. That's interesting. It's a confidence that we give. That's why Russian women love black dudes. Because Russian women, their men are very alpha. They're aggressive.

And they're just, they're not. It's an aggressive culture. Because you know, I did Russia in 2018. I was the first American to do comedy in Russia. What was that like? It was a trip They called me I do this on stage. I they called me they called my manager said hey the Russians want you in Rago Well, what the fuck you mean by that like what why? Me I know Russians probably spy on the world, But what the fuck did I do they go they want you for a comedy festival. I said they got comedy festivals in Russia Say okay. Well, they want to have a little Skype thing with you. I said, okay

I say Russia they chose you out of everybody in America. I was like Well fuck all right, you know looking up the internet. Yeah that right so I see them they go Hey God, three with a we very happy that you want to do Well fuck, all right, you know, looking up the internet. Yeah, that Russian money too. I see it and I go, hey, God free with it. We very happy that you want to do a comedy festival in Moscow, on Arbat Street. We have stand up club number one. We come to show, blah, blah, blah. I was like, okay, yeah, but shit, how fucked?

They said, no, we watch all your videos. You left, your father, your Nigerian. I was said, no, we watch all your videos. You left your father, you're Nigerian. I was like, how the fuck they knew me? And so I go, you come for eight days possible, bye bye. And we already have give you some money. You know how to give you half. And I saw the half, I said, I cannot wait to come to Russia. Thank you.

My name is Godfrey. Thank you. Yes. Very funny. Very funny. Very funny. Very funny. I'm not allowed that shit. It's not safe. And they were like, I was, they said, you want to take you to Roast Beatle? Roast Beatle. Roast Beatle. Roast Beatle. A Russian Roast Battle? They had two, they were, they just kept having them.

I was going to the, there were just roast battles. Like the roast that we do. Roast, he said, you want to come to Roast Beatle? I said, I'll come to Roast Beatle. And so I would come, it was all in Russian, and they, bombing is universal Yeah, it's you these motherfuckers were so bad But it was funny because I didn't know what they were saying

And so there's one guy on one side other guy on the other side and people there's audience. They're like Mendez you but the rest of me over need you mean alter is me about her, but I asked you Bunk nothing The other guy goes, ha ha ha. How much is your mother? Is it? But there's a mother in me. Oh, but the rest.

It, this motherfucker, what I'm in day in and day out. Russian like, what'd you say? That's very good. Fake Russian. And then I had, then there was a, there was a standup show and with a

group, you know, stand up a list of comics and I knew the guys that were funny. You can see a group, you know, a list of comics. And I knew the guys that were funny. You could see it. There was the ones that were trash. You go, oh, that dude's wack. Then you had the guys that were funny, that were killing.

And I go, just by their stance, they was like, but I should, I mean, you know what I should be doing. But then you get, bang, bang. I was like, I said, who's that dude? They were like, oh, that's da, da, da, da. You could just, I didn't need to understand. Just the way they move, I said, this dude sees it.

You can hear the rhythm. I was at the Comedy Store one time, and I looked in the OR, and a guy was, I watched him for three seconds, I go, I gotta get away from here right now. And I was with somebody, my buddy Jeff was like, what do you mean? I go, that guy's terrible.

He goes, you listen to three seconds. I go, I know, but I can tell, I can hear the music in his voice. I can hear his copying and I can hear that joke's going to be terrible. I had to get the fuck away from him. It was like I was allergic. There's intrinsic and extrinsic.

I've just been doing it so long. We've been doing it so long. I remember sitting next to David Tell, you know, David Tell has words and he stopped, he doesn't say nothing, then he'll say something. So we're on the stairway at the cellar, on the stairway listening to this road hack. He was just very roadie, you could tell.

That's why there's gotta be a balance between hack and you gotta be city still and balance out sounding hacky. So he's on the thing. Get away with shit on the road. And he's eating his dick on the stage. It's David tell goes Everybody comes in a comedy cellar to get a little piece of humble pie No fucking true it was it was cuz his jokes made us all go. Oh, oh he goes so my mom's a Catholic

Fuck was that does that come with a comma the fuck my mom's a Catholic. The fuck was that? Does that come with a comma? The fuck? My mom's, so I was, you know, so that shit. That 80s, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ugh, that shit was like, why don't you get a jacket with patches on it, Sagan? That's Carl Sagan.

I'm such a Carl Sagan fan. It's three, I gotta go. You guys keep going though. Yeah, you guys keep going. You keep going, he's great. Carl Sagan. Sorry. I'm such a Carl Sagan fan. Carl Sagan. It's three, I gotta go. You guys keep going though. Yeah, you guys keep going. Save Carl Sagan. Carl Sagan. Yeah, by the way, you got a heart out of two. I know.

He stayed here for you. Dude, that's awesome. Thanks, Fruit. No, you did. He stayed here. Killer. Yeah, man. I'm gonna say, yo, Shaw, that motherfucker ain't,

I thought he was our height. Shit. No, no, no. I was like, shit right. She no no This morning he waited in 241 and he's he's No, no, okay just life but he's getting ready for life, you never know the elections coming up who knows man I just stay ready. I just stay ready baby guys. Let's take a break. Listen, you are your first responder Okay, you you might think you're ready for an emergency. You might think you're ready if somebody attacks your family

or if something happens to your family or one of your kids. You might think, ah, I'm going to figure it out. If you haven't trained, if you haven't thought about this, if nobody's told you how to tie a tourniquet, if nobody's told you what to have in your car in case you're bleeding out or somebody you love is bleeding out, you know, if you're not prepared for a disaster, then you are going to sink to the level of your training, which means

you are going to die or someone you love is going to die. This happens every single day because people don't take the time to actually rehearse or educate themselves on what to do when something bad happens. Okay. That's why there's an app called Fieldcraft Survival. All right. And you can get a monthly subscription. You can learn pretty much everything you need as a citizen to get you

ready for the worst case scenario. So go to fieldcraftsurvival.com. Use the code fighter20 for 20% off training and product. Use the code fighter30free. Okay. For an annual subscription, you'll get 35% off your annual subscription using fighter35. Give it a shot. It could be the one thing that saves your life. Are we doing that? Yeah. Okay. I gotta say this. That's why Callan is like a, you're like a main part of memories for me. Because you are part of my life. Yep. As far as the acting situation. Because I was taking classes like I had Alice Spivak who passed away. Alice Spivak, I took Joanna Bexson in New York

for sitcom acting. So I was doing the classes and shit. Studied it. But some of this shit is just like, watching other scenes and just like, I wanna fucking kill myself. But I know that's, people gotta understand, sometimes study is boring.

Sometimes study is just boring. And sometimes you learn by watching too. Yeah, no doubt. Especially with like, you'll see a scene in an acting class and you get a dude who's been watching it forever, like Milton Katsalis or Jeffrey Tambor, the guys teaching there. Jeffrey Tambor. Richard Lawson.

Richard Lawson. Amazing teacher and I mean, taught me a lot. Yeah. And they can break shit down and they see shit that you don't see otherwise. They see shit. Yeah. I know that I don't, I still don't get acting. I know I don't.

You know, I think I have natural skill. You're a performer. Yeah. And that's where it comes from. I did a show, I did a movie with Robert Wagner, RJ. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's a Christmas movie called Dennis Domenis Christmas. Shot it, this guy named Steve Wolf.

He would do a lot of indie films. And I did it in Montreal, so that was badass to be in Montreal for a couple weeks. And you know Tartakov, Tartakov, Tartakov. So that's R.J.'s dude, like his boy. So I'm doing my scenes with fucking Robert Wagner. That's RJ's dude, like his boy. So I'm doing my scenes with fucking Robert Wagner. And Robert comes, Robert, I see him every morning, and he's spitting game to me.

You know, he's from the Sinatra days. Yes he is, sir. And he goes- Yes he is. And by the way, at 80 he looked 40. He just had the genetics. Just handsome, motherfucker, all through his old age. He goes, I just want to tell you something kid.

He goes, you got it, you got the natural skills. Got natural skills, I want you to meet Tom, is it Tartakov? Tartakov, yeah. I want you to meet him. He has a two a year waiting list, but I'ma get you in. It's not a problem, all right? And he was like, you gotta meet this guy.

It didn't happen, but he was gonna hook me up, he goes, cause you got it. This is, This is I'm sitting with Robert Wagner on dinner time They would tell me that cuz then now you feel like you got to live up to it Yeah, yeah, like I hate that shit. You got it Like I was like I do now, but I what if I don't got it and what if I don't make it now that you said That shit what if I'm such an out sock that I don't do it. Fuck you That's it man man. Right? Listen, listen, man.

Brian, you're a guy that I say, how is Brian not? Like, we're those same dudes. How is Brian not? Because we were imitating. It was a bunch of us. I was almost there. A lot of shit happened. No, a lot of shit. You were in a lot of shows. I was like, uh-oh! Yeah, some shit. Uh-oh!

You know, I got a little hiccup four years ago. Shit happens sometimes. You get like, you know, you'll hit some road bumps, but yeah, man, no. But then again, you know, I watch myself sometimes and I'm like, I wouldn't cast me necessarily. Like, I'm a good actor, I'm a good actor, but let's be honest, here's the truth. I watch myself, first of all, I've never been on set acting where I didn't want it to be over. That's the truth. I watch myself, first of all, I've never been on set

acting where I didn't want it to be over, that's the truth. I just don't have the patience. So you're acting and you're breaking it into little pieces and I'm like, I want to go fucking home, or I want to do this, I want to fuck around with my friends. But if you want me to hold character and be an actor on a set where I got to hit my mark and do it over and over, oof, I did that, I did that a lot, but damn, it was hard.

I just, I have ADHD. I want to, I like stand up. I don't want to do that shit. So that's, I've always felt like work, but also I'd watch myself and it was like, you know, I'm, I'm kind of every man. When I'm like physically, you see me, I'm like, boy, I blend into that tapestry. I blend right the fuck in. I don't know, call it my coloring, call it whatever the fuck it is.

The way I sound, the way I look. I don't know what it was, but I was always like, yep, you're the guy who's the, he's almost, he's the guy who's playing the sidekick, don't say too much. And that's what I would, if I'm saying that about myself, I would cast myself. That was very different. So part of it was just like star power. Like you see Jake Gyllenhaal, there's something about that motherfucker.

But here's the other thing, I had an acting teacher tell me, I think it was Richard Lawson, he said, let us reach a little bit, bro. Man, you're just, you're out there pulling on all the stops. You're just lighting up fireworks and everything else. You might want to just let us reach. What does that mean? Meaning, don't give it up so much. You know, just maybe maybe you come on stage and be a little mysterious

Do you have to tell us everything about yourself? And that's all I've never been so and as far as acting yeah, bro, like I was never I didn't have that depth I didn't have that star part, you know people get on stage You know you see movie stars and you're kind of like going, what's going on with them? Like Brando, you'd be like, he's mumbling. Like he didn't give a fuck. He didn't care if you, I wanted to be liked so badly that I was willing to do whatever it took.

I wanted to be liked by everybody all the time. The idea of hurting anybody's feelings, the idea of not, like I was gonna do everything for you and you gotta be more, you gotta be a little out of reach sometimes bro. No, it takes some times Am I that's so funny cuz my ex told me that one time she was like I was after shows I get off stage and greet everybody And she goes, you know and and this you know when someone's telling you that's not a performer, because she's a finance person, so she don't give a fuck.

But she knows. But I was like, don't fucking tell me. I gotta meet the people. I gotta be up there. You don't understand. What if they don't come back? And she goes, you did your job. You did an hour and a half of fucking amazing,

and then you lower your shit. You let them suck your energy out like you're desperate. She's so right. She was so, listen, and I tell her out like you're desperate. You're the- She was so right. She was so, listen, and I tell her to this day and night that we're just friends, I go, you were so right. And I go- At the time, you fought it.

At the time, you were like, I do my shit. I was such a jack, I was like this, how about you not fucking tell me what to do? This is what the fuck I do. You and I are the same guy, you know this, right? So what you just said. Yeah, I've had Many women tell me that yeah, I've had other people tell me that and I never listened and that's the story of my life Well, you just said is the story of my life and I I'll give you more. Yeah, like me more

Where you guys going? Yeah, I's leaving. Yeah, and then I all of a sudden about Six years ago six seven years, I started going straight to the green room. I did my job. And I told people the security, if they asked for me, just say, you can't find me. That's all. Just say I went to get something.

Sometimes I'll go get something. You know why? Because it gives you nothing, man. It just takes. It's it. And nobody's going to get mad. Don't ever say no to them because that's not cool. But then I'll go to the green room, decompress,

and some people will go, there's some people out here waiting. I'll come out. I'll come out and go, cool. On your time, on your time. And I come out, take pictures, whatever, whoever's left. But most of the time, people leave, they're leaving. Unless you have merch, I don't have any merch.

You gave them an hour and a half. And you're still, and then you go, so what's your number? And then she goes, leave me the fuck alone. Now you look like an idiot. So I avoided all that. And then me too shit, man, that even made a better excuse.

I was like, I don't want no bitch filming me. I don't want no bitch complaining about me. You made one mistake. They can, somebody can tell, somebody can just tell a story about you. They can record you talking to people. I've seen people record me talking to a woman. And you're done.

And they're like, you know, so I just avoided, and she was so right. They just want you to get, they want to catch you doing some shit. Yeah, she goes, don't be obsequious. And I go, maybe I could have, you know, we don't know any better. We want, it's natural to want to be liked at the beginning.

That's just what it is. Because you're performing and you're vulnerable. You're like, did you like it, guys? Now, we're older, we're like, I was like, hey, whatever the fuck. And I choose, I choose what I want. Hey, there's an audition for that, I'm good. I'm good, I'm not going in there.

If it's something I really like, I'm gonna put my heart into it. But you realize you're not missing anything either. I'm not missing a motherfucking thing. And a lot of these people know what you could do. All right, are you just power tripping, just want to see me jump hoops? I'm not coming in.

It's not because I'm being an asshole, I'm just like, why? Why, I mean, so I'm very specific with certain things that I go in for. Bill Byrd told me one time, I saw him not too long ago, he said, something we were talking, he's like, my reputation was, oh, you don't show up for shit.

And I said, Bill, I don't know who the fuck you were talking to, but that's not me, I don't do that. I don't do that kind of shit. You show up. I show up for shit. 100%. Maybe, I said, I'm choosy about what I audition for now. I'm not just going to jump hoops for what.

You know? I said I don't know who told you that, Bill, but that's a little dangerous. I wasn't being mad at him, but I go I would hate for that. Somebody's saying some bullshit about you. Because Bill, you produce a lot of shit. And what if you just feel that way about me, but you've always complimented me. I don't like that unless you're feeling yourself and you had something that way about me, but you've always complimented me. I don't like that unless, unless you're feeling yourself and you had something, you're saying some fucked up shit

to me. I would hope not, because I've always been cool, and I'm a fan, you know, I'm a fan of yours, and we talk all the time, not all the time, when we talk it's good. But he's your colleague. You're my colleague, but you're producing shit, dog. And I would hate, because I know other comics in positions

that have said fucked up shit about me. And I've nothing to them at all. I mind my business. I ain't fucked none of your girls. I ain't disrespected none of your women because when it comes to money and women, that's one thing you don't fuck with. My father taught me that. So, you know, that's dangerous. I don't want to be that where you're not going to pick me because you want some dumb fucking petty shit. I was like, and I didn't. I know what you mean though. There can be misunderstandings. That's so scary.

Yeah. They're like, what did I do? Yeah. You don't like me? What happened? Yeah, and I get that, man. And that's a lot. I have, and this is not me.

It's just the reality. Guys like yourself, I go, we were all like, how is that Brian Callahan? We were imitating you. Everybody was doing you. We were laughing. There's one guy that was Callan? We were imitating you everybody was doing you we were laughing There's one guy that was really doing you. I can't remember who was it was so I saw the clip of it It was great. I was like, oh, this is good. You guys were doing like impressions of me. Oh One of the guys I didn't know but he knew you're trying to out-call in each other and I go

I think that and I'm just, this might be a theory if I'm wrong, it's your guy like yourself, who comes in the room and gets, they're like, nah, we can't have him around. We can't have him around. Nope, we can't have a dude that, no. We can't have Dubb, we can't have Dubb around.

Nope. Cause Dubb is like me We can't have dub around. Nope. Cause dub is like me. We all like the same kind of dude. I said, we can't have dub around. Girls might like him too. Let me tell you what dub did recent. Well, it's not recent. I've been seen dub. But when we were younger,

it's true that you come off stage and it was, you got attention. You got a lot of attention. Oh, well. I like being around motherfuckers like that. I remember Dove, we finished the show at the Cellar. I was with Dove, it was like maybe two years ago. I don't see Dove often, but when we talk, we talk and we're sitting there just talking about shit,

talking about boxing and shit, you know, he loved boxing. And we're talking to these two girls, nice looking, girls from Texas, hot white shirt, real pretty, come down, they sit, talk, hey guys, you guys were so funny, now we're like, okay, maybe this is gonna be a hookup, or, and they, man, they were just talking about, one girl was real pretty, talking about,

my friend, she's been wanting to get into comedy, man, she's so funny, goes ah the fucking show is over the fuck oh he can't this is why I love my guy he can't take it he goes ah you know you just fucking see us no this is what oh Oh, it was wonderful. He has no patience for, for, None! He suffers no fools. None! He was, we were at the comedy story in LA,

and he goes, and somebody just started talking, some bullshit, he goes, he looked at me, he goes, I can't do this anymore, I can't have these conversations here, I'm going back to New York, I can't do it, you're the only one I'll miss, I gotta get the fuck out of here. He was gone two days later, he never came back. Yeah, yeah.

Two days later, he left me for the wolves. LA is like, I'm very specific. That's why I go, Brian, I'm coming to do your shit. Yup, I'm coming to do, if Harlan, if I would have fitted in, he switched the days. Yup, I'll come and do yours. I come in, Adam Carolla, I'm coming to do your shit. Ruben Paul, I do his Ruby too.

Ruben is another guy like me. I like Ruben. Ruben is my- How's he doing? He's doing, he's a killer too. Ruben's great. But gets disrespected. I know bro. Women love him, he's charming.

Ruben is great. And he's another guy. He's fucking great. And a guy that gets overlooked. It's, I'm trying, and this is not, black and white guys. It's not, and it's like, it's the same mate, the same cloth, we're cut from the same cloth.

We're just dudes, man. We're just dudes and we're not about the fuck shit. We're just not, and I love to see people thrive. I'm never intimidated. I go, oh, this is my man. I talk about my friends. I go, oh, you should put that, you should get, he should be on that.

I like that. You want to see your friends do well. I love when people do well. Well, you're a people person. I really love when people do well. Because you're a people person. I'm not this, I don't do, and you know we can't use certain words nowadays.

It's like, oh, I can't wait to the, hope the pendulum swings back. I think it is sort of. It's come, but that. You know what, that Brady Rose. That Brady Rose, that's what I'm going to say. I was like. The Brady Rose is bringing that pendulum back

I think so nobody said shit that thing did so fucking well on Netflix. God bless Netflix and you know Netflix Surprisingly that guy Ted Sarandos or whatever. He was like fuck you. Oh, this is expression. We are Art good for you. Yeah, we gotta and I need him we need him But I hope that he can make more decisions on better people getting specials. I'm sorry. I'm doing a GoFundMe right now. Do you know that?

I'm doing a, listen, Tiffany Haddish, bless her soul, that's my little sister. She had me on her second season of They Ready with Dean Edwards and Tony Woods. And she put me on because she goes, Godfrey, you should be on your third, fourth special, but just get on here so you can at least have the Netflix thing.

Just do it. She goes, listen, you ain't got to tell me. If Netflix puts you on your shit, it's over. And I haven't been approached by Netflix. I don't know, man. I don't know. Robbie Praw, it's like, it's strange. And I know Robbie very well and I'm just like. I couldn't even get him to watch my special, like one special. I couldn't know man. I have Robbie Prawl. It's like and I know Robbie very well, and I'm just like I couldn't even get him

To watch my special like once but I couldn't get him watch what what did we do to you? I go Robbie and I'm telling them Robbie. I know you in Montreal Yeah, you used to have to you have used to audition for us He's just one dude and he's got a lot of pressure because Cause there is an agenda. No, because every time there's a special shot, it's Robbie Prah hanging around, watching. It's Robbie Prah. Robbie, I'm not, and this is me not dogging her. I know Robbie.

I've never done anything fucked up to Robbie. But I mean, I did him favor. You're ripe for a Netflix special. You're ripe for one. And so I said, and my fans are like, why don't you just do like a Kickstarter or whatever and raise money to do your Netflix special. You're right. And so I said, and my fans are like, why don't you just do like a Kickstarter or whatever and raise money to do your own special. And so I started a GoFundMe in like April or whatever.

And I'm, so you guys, I'm taking donations. GoFundMe, you know, you gofundme.com, look up Godfrey Special. It's also on my YouTube channel and Godfrey We Trust that, which is my podcast is called and Godfrey, we trust that which is my, um, my podcast is called in Godfrey. We trust just hit 504,000 subscribers, which is not bad. I'm with the, I'm with the Legion of skanks. I'm with those guys, Lewis Gomez and those guys who are MMA fans. I'm with, I'm on, I've been on his network. Shout out to Lewis Gomez

at four and a half years. I like Lewis man. Luis Gomez is just a go-getter. Yeah, he's one of those dudes That's mad at his Puerto Rico. He's great. He's great. He's mad. He's half Puerto Rico. That's my dude, though There's all those big jail cuz all those dudes crazy motherfuckers. We're all comics and it's like Lewis created this on his own because he was tired of waiting on people. And so, yeah, so I'm raising money because shout out to Ali Siddique, who you should see his Domino effect. I like that too, we tried to get him on.

I reached out to his Ali Siddique manager. But we never heard back, I like that dude. I'll just call him straight up. Tell him what we want him on this fucking podcast. What do we gotta do, Ali, come on. Ali Siddique, you guys should watch domino effect He's funny shit man. He's also got a lot. He's smart. He's got a mark. Where's he from originally Houston? He's great And I like that and he is a fantastic comedian. Yeah, I talked to his manager

I know back. It's like come on. Let's get watch Ali said he was on arm. This just couldn't be happening on arm. He's great Yeah, sorry. Tell him's great. Yeah, yeah He needs I'll call him straight off and tell him yeah, yeah, and um, yeah, man, and he put his stuff on YouTube He was supposed to do it on HBO, but they got mad at him for something So he and he got he's getting millions of hits Ari Shafir's got seven million on his So it's working the that's why you work Shane Gillis murder in the game. You could do it on his, so it's working. The YouTube work, Shane Gillis murdering the game. You could do it on YouTube, man. I just want to raise money just to.

How much do you need? I'm trying to raise about maybe 200,000 by the end of the year. You don't need that much. I don't know, I'm just trying to raise a bunch. But you don't need that much for a special. That's what it says here, 200k. But you don't need that much for a special? No, bro, you need 50 grand.

Fuck that. I'm almost at 50 grand. You are almost at 50. That's beautiful. Bro, you got money for a special. And I got Big Shaq, Big Shaq called me last year. He goes, it's time for your special. How much you need?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Shaq's my friend. Shaq, we talk. Wow. Shaq goes, how much you need, man? I go, what? He's like, it's time for your special. Fuck you doing? I go, all friend, Shaq, we talk. Wow. Shaq goes, how much you need, man? I go, what? He's like, it's time for your special, fuck you doing? I go, all right, Shaq, hold up.

I love that guy, man. I got my other buddy in St. Louis, Artie Stacks. He's just an entrepreneur dude, that's my dude. He's such a, he goes, Godfrey, man, what's up? What do you need, motherfucker, let me know. I go, all right, but let me try to raise some money for myself. I just want to have my fans.

Now maybe call Shaq. I got, I know somebody who can produce my last one, Man Tears, and it was really good. Oh yeah? Yeah, Dana. Dana's my friend. She'll get it done for you for 75 probably. Okay. But I got my Will.i.am from Black Eyed Peas sent me 20 grand.

Get the fuck off. He's a huge fan of mine.. He's a huge fat some serious, but but it's but I just put it out there Why wait up because we always were waiting on I know we thought that oh We I guess that our managers know how to get when all we had to do is go. Hey, I'm doing this Can we make it happen just you didn't have to the liaison is bullshit, bro Get get Shaq to give you 25 30 and you're set. You're ready. Let's go. All right I'm all right because I just wanted to raise something and my cash app is Godfrey comedian, too I've I'm raising money. I'm taking all my super chats on my YouTube. I do YouTube live, too It's great. I do all we gotta start doing it. We gotta start doing some shit together, man.

How have we? How have you not? I don't know. How have we? No. We gotta start doing some shit together. How have you not? I don't understand.

No, because we don't live in the same fucking town. Oh, that's right. It's in New York. No, but then. We live across the country. But that's okay. I agree. But come up with an idea or something.

I don't know. I don't know. It'll either work or not work. But how have I never worked with Brian Callan? You should be thinking about it, man. I quote Brian Callan. I quote, I tell, there's people like, quote, Keith Robinson, I quote certain guys that I quote all the time. And I go, the Austrian shit. Oh dude. Oh,

Oh, Oh dude, oh Dude I want an ostrich to protect like this. Yeah, I remember that bit. Oh man. I miss it What about this one? I'm just taking a butter bath. Oh man Well, you understand dog. I'd be right this I just go what's up? Just taking the butter back But I can't wait for my next special. Yo, that guy has a Falcon. I got a Falcon Dude, I remember that shit. I missed that. That's man class. Fuck. I should have edited that down I should have had it down. Show that it's so fucking bring some of those jokes. Yeah. Yeah I'm bringing some of those jokes back. I'm gonna put them on fucking.

Bring it back. I'm gonna bring some back. Bring them back cuz I'm shit. I have a new thing. Okay shout out to Shannon Sharp. I did his club shay. I did a club shay shay. Okay. Hit three million which is great. Wow. And Shannon was a fan cuz I was imitating him. I just want to ask you, Skip, I'm going to tell you something, Skip, I've been in NFL for a long time, Skip. And I'm going to tell you this, you want to tell me the East and the West.

I just can't agree with you on that, Skip. God, that's a good fucking Shannon Sharp. And I did, Shannon. God damn, you're good at that shit. And we know Shannon Sharp as a football player who was catching John Elway's passes. Do people understand? And he'll still beat your ass right now, right?

He'll right now. He'll beat you. He'll beat you up give him teach him one day of jiu-jitsu. He'll beat you up He'll beat everybody up super athlete. I saw him at the fucking I saw that dude at the airport Just stand there and I was like you still got it. You still look like a fucking superhero Still you still wearing the Batman suit People were like people were people were calling him gay and all this I go hey first of all okay Whatever I go whatever guy who played the guy who is a point oh one percenter who played in the NFL like change The tight end position for as long as he wanted to yeah by, by the way, tight end position. When you're choosing your tight ends of all time,

he better be in your top three. Top three. And by the way, let's tell people how hard John Elway threw a football. And he was more athletic than Tom Brady. Way more athletic than Tom Brady. Ooh, God Brady. He could have played pro, yeah.

He's more athletic than Tom Brady. Okay. No, that's a fact. I'm talking about athletic. I didn't say wins, but first of all, I believe some of them Tom Brady soap balls are a little suspect, personally. Bet you any money.

He had an amazing line. Oh no, his line was, first of all, I saw Tom Brady's documentary, which was fantastic. It was called 199, whatever. He was like drafting 199. He came from like shit and was developed into the greatest quarterback. I'm not knocking him, but there were some Super Bowls that were a little shady to me.

That's all I'm saying. Because he's with the most powerful man in football, Robert Kraft. I'm saying, Kraft is his last name. That's cheese, that's old money. And Kraft, Kraft the ass motherfucker. You're a little bit of a conspiracy theory. You're a little bit of a conspiracy theory. I'm saying craft is his last name. That's cheese. That's old money and Craft craft the ass. You're a little bit of a conspiracy theorist right now

Shady well my thing is if you're Russell Wilson and you're on the one-yard line and Marshawn Lynch is your running back who you can't tackle and you throw a you throw a he threw a, a, a, a slant pass. That's not what you do when you're on the one. You either, you're either flare out, cause I was a wide receiver, you flare out or you run the ball in. That was some bullshit. I was like, then the Falcons are leading 28 to maybe three.

It's five minutes left in the fourth quarter. Matt Ice does a three step drop and doesn't run the clock down You're bro. I was like that shit was I was in the gym like this. Okay, I'm done. I'm done. I look mad shady That looks shady as fuck. You're talking about football being fixed the American I believe it I believe some of I think basketball's fixed. I believe a lot of shit's fair. I believe it. Damn. Okay Okay, when New Orleans, remember Katrina? Who won the Super Bowl? New Orleans did.

The Chays did. 9-11, Patriots did. America's team. Come on. I think there's some fixing. I know a bookie who was in Vegas. He was like, well, you know, there's numbers. Things happen.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, the odds are, yeah. Well, we know that the Gambino crime family was involved in Oh yeah. Yeah, the odds are, yeah. Well, we know that the Gambino crime family was involved in fixing sports. Yeah, I believe a lot of that shit. I believe a lot. Calls are made, yeah.

I believe a lot of that shit is fixed. And I just thought, this is my theory. Now I'm doing my black theory now. I feel that they wanted him to have seven Super Bowls because the NFL is like 80% black, so they had to keep this great white hope. They go, we gotta keep him, Tom Brady's still number one. So the white athlete is kind of fading.

Because when you think about it, white dudes, no, white dudes talk about black athletes more than anybody, because anytime you guys talk about athletes, they're always black guys. They wear Kobe jerseys. Right, right, right. They wear black. Nobody's wearing Okudziewicz.

Puf-uh-vitch. You can't pronounce it. Vuh-yuh-chitch. No, no, I don't care. Sasha Vuh-yuh-chitch. No, no, no, I'm talking about the Nuggets player. There's Jokic. Oh, oh.

I mean, remember there was Vlady Divac, all those guys back in the day. I'm just joking But I'm saying nobody's wearing It's always wearing Kobe LeBron Jordan to wearing all the but I'm just saying that I thought oh Let's keep Brady as the great white hope still Whoa, and and the cake first of all the Caitlin Clark shit This is the first time I've heard this theory, but I like it

I give her props like a muff. Dude, she earned her shit. Shot threes, but she's not the greatest women's basketball. It's another lady. This black woman who has more points than her. Angel Reese? No, no, no, no. Look up, it's, look up, what's her name?

She just did a speech. She goes, I have the record for the most points. But they, you know, America's good at smothering African American accomplishment. Part of that might just be that women. Look up, look up the most points. Women in basketball aren't as fun to watch as men, right? No, Caitlin Clark deserves her accolades.

I mean, she was smoking, she smoked it. And Angel, and I think both of them has sparked interest in the WNBA. I like that they're like being mean to them. I like the body and they're knocking them down. That's her. That's her. Yeah. Pearlmore. She's Pearlmore. And she made a speech. Yeah, it's Pearlmore. She has all the records, but I'm not surprised when you dig it. I mean, you, you know, when you, you know,

you when you're digging in the ground? What do you reach? Black. If you keep digging. Soil. If you keep digging. You keep digging, it gets black, as I'm saying. Everybody's going back to black when they die. That's it, that's it. Don't forget.

In the darkness, the light will come. Don't forget that shit. You need the darkness for the light. It's 3.30, I gotta go pick up my kid. Holy shit. You have kids, wow, look at you. Bro, only you would keep us here. Sorry. I love it. I'm sorry. I gotta go pick up my kid. Holy shit. Wow. Look at you. Only you would keep us here. Sorry I love it. I'm sorry. I don't even notice we've been doing we've been podcasting when he showed up

We didn't even notice but you made Brendan late. You made me late, but it was worth it It was this was I was looking forward to see it You need to start coming whenever you're in town. You have a standing invite. There should be a regular. Thank you I will be a regular. I'm just telling you know any time you're fucking in town you have a standing invite. You should be a regular on the show. I will be a regular on the show. I'm just telling you, anytime you're fucking in town you just have a standing invite. Thank you. You and Adam do that for me. Adam just goes Godfrey where are you? Yeah you're great. Come through. You're going to be, Godfrey is at the, he's tomorrow night. Are they showing this today? Tomorrow.

Oh I am, yes! Guys, I am at the Ontario Improv. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, the 20th to the 23rd. Damn, that's a long, that's many days. Yeah, many days. Good job. You know, Erin, Erin. Why not? You know Erin Von Huffenhofer?

Yes, why not? She, she, she, I always call her. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Get your tickets. Get your tickets and next week is Chicago Improv, my hometown. Oh, wow. Chicago Improv, the 27th. Schomburg Improv. To the 29th, get your tickets. And next week is Chicago Improv, my hometown. Chicago Improv, the 27th to the 29th.

Schomburg. If you don't go see him, you're crazy. If you like comedy, I'm just telling you. And vice versa. You are a fucking idiot if you don't watch Brian Callan. I mean, you talk about performance. LOL Comedy Club. That's you.

July 12, 13th. You talk about performance, originality, act outs, just fucking amazing. I'm bringing a little heat. His new stuff is spicy. Listen, man, Brian is never not funny. I appreciate it. He's so ridiculous.

Coming from you, that means a lot. Because he's so ridiculous. He's so damn ridiculous. See, you gotta be ridiculous. Girl, I got a whole, I was, yeah. It's so, and I'm telling you, he's one of the greatest comedians for real. I was riding a fake horse this weekend.

I can't help it. But you used to have the photo with the horse. Oh, God, I mean, oh yeah, that. Oh yeah, that. Where I was just like, put my shirt open. Oh, you're fucking ridiculous. I'm just having, I'm just taking a butter bath, my man. I love you.

Just taking a butter bath, a butter bath. I would say that, it like walking around the house, just taking a butter bath. Just taking a liberal, a liberal handful, I mean liberal. Just giving myself a butter bath. Your lady comes in, what are you doing? Nothing. Stop.

Just giving myself a butter back Unfortunately, I'm the butter police Slip right out You gotta break Joe, what do you bring that shit back? We ain't got those are old songs You know, listen, let me tell you something. You know when the band comes back here, bro Remember when they start. Gotta do a revival. You just shining their old guns like this. Oh, I ain't shot this in a long time.

Yeah. You're right. Remember in Desperado when he brought his boys? He goes, ah, we're back together again. Yeah. You're right. What the fuck you talking? Bring him back.

Here's an example. Bring him back. Gabriel Ig grace glaciers shout out to him I was doing Ontario with Domarera and We watched him on this Canadian tour this motherfucker was killing so hard He goes you guys want me to do some old jokes again. Everyone's like You want you run into you the joke about Martin he literally what he was singing a song he goes so I go to my friend Marty everyone's repeated my dude I said old song it's on that's listen that's why

people are afraid to show some of their material online do they want to see you do that shit again you You're right, bro. Don't, fuck, we ain't got time to be hiding shit. I love how we're like, I'm keeping this for what? They ain't picking us for nothing. You're right, bro. We got to fucking start throwing it out there. And if they come to see you, go,

I'm about to do that African joke, hell yeah. Bro, I'm down. That got me. Fuck yeah, do it. I can see clearly He was a big fan of my Johnny Nash from Houston he died, but I can see all Obstacles in someone came to my door said mr. Johnny Nash would like to meet you what I said what the fuck did you just say? Johnny Nash I can see clearly now Came in old guy 80s. I was like Johnny Nash

big fan Bro, and you and you know your music and you know, well, you know a lot of things, you know You're talking about me know a lot of you you talk about you know a lot of shit and I know a lot of shit I just need to speak fluently in a lot of languages and then I'll be well then you listen That's the thing about me and you I want to be good at everything. I want to be salsa I want to speak all language salsa. I'm taking I want to do it all you're gonna get salsa class Well, I have I I may I may have a couple that comes every Sunday teaches me and my wife and we practice our salsa You how about that?

Yeah, Papa. Listen man, you know salsa salsa that's like another feather in your sexy belt. By the way, I keep this shit still. This is still as a matador. My hips though, under the surface, under the surface, bro. I'm made of rubber, bro. That's music. That's where the music is. Because right here, this is, this is, this is Norway. This is the equator. You understand So this is classical music. This is percussion. This is all percussion Please understand

Now I love you Right now we're in the winter I gotta get ready for the one this is not... I cannot. This is the equator. Well right now we're in the winter. I gotta get ready for the winter. This is about discipline. Right. This shit here is the equator. And it gets very hot. Which is exactly why I have four children.

Because the minute I don't pull out... You understand? Godfrey, you come see... go see him if you're an American. If you're Nigerian, if you're from anywhere. Go see the man this weekend. Go and see me. Go and see. Go and see.

Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see.

Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see.

Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. Go and see. especially Yeah, you speak some French. I had a French French You know, I was a gone see one see God free. I'm gonna see me God free live calm for all my dates We're out