The Fighter & The Kid - Jay Mohr | TFATK Ep. 906

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Jay Mohr is back and the guys talk dealing with haters, their heroes, divorce, Jay's stories on Chris Farley, David Attell, Tom Cruise, Michael Irvin and more, Bryan's experience with a crazy hailstorm, current events around the world and much more! House Of Macadamias - For a limited time, Fighter and the Kid listeners a free box of 45% macadamia snack bars - one of each flavor - when you visit houseofmacadamias.com/tfak plus 20% off your entire order with code TFAK

Yes we did, cause we got candy candy It's the finaly the kid This is really the finaly the kid Got the great jay Oh yeah You got a great voice? No That's your last

I know it's bro I don't know baby But I got the finaly the kid Yeah Damn that gets me fired up Why can't that be our intro music? Let's go the fire in the kit! It's from fucking copy and Iron Maiden, I guess, in my bedroom as a kid.

Bro, I want to use that as our intro, just that. The fire in the kit! The fire in the kit! Yeah! It's really, uh, eighties. Yeah. Ah, it's good, man! It's really eighties. Yeah. Ah, it's good, man. He's bringing it back. It's wrestling room, rat, first rat album.

Oh yeah. Out on the streets. That's where we meet. Did you ever see the Iron Maiden, the court case, and they asked the lead singer, because this guy, they were being sued because this kid committed suicide listening to the song. And they asked him, I have so fucking weird.

I don't know, but they asked him to sing the song. The line of the ancient mariners. He actually sang it, Acapella is like, anybody home in the house, I don't want to be back. And the guy, the fucking Lord is like, what is the thing you do at the end? And he's like, what? And he What is the thing you do at the end? Yeah. And he's like, what? And he goes, the thing you're like, me, like that.

And he goes, that sound just, how I breathe. My fucking next person was like, so awkward. The number of the beast, sacrifice. Going on tonight. But they didn't get it, they actually saying. They got away with it, right? Jake can actually say. But you're not down yet.

I mean, it's like, we wrote a song, song dude. I mean what do you want me to do? Are you gonna sue me for remember they tried blaming Marilyn Manthin on the Combine stuff remember that they said they said out Marilyn Manthson But would you have said to the those kids the combine shooters and he said I wouldn't have said anything I want to listen and that's it no one ever Didn't they talk for 11 minutes you're like I've heard enough I said anything, I want to listen. And that's no one ever. Wow, that's a powerful guy. That's a no one day. Then they talk for 11 minutes, you're like,

I've heard enough. Oh, by the way. He has a crazy, huh? The one guy was a soci- He has a bad shit. He knows a psychopath. He had a history of psychotic behavior. Oh yeah, he has an animal.

He's a sadistic piece of shit. And then they tried to go after the parents, like, where were you? You had 100 squirrels in the fucking basement, dad and dad. Yeah, well, one kid was so depressed apparently that he got manipulated by the psychopath. The psychopath was the one who really orchestrated it. As Colin Quinn would say, all right.

Guess it takes all kinds, you know. You know what the fly said when you walked over the mirror, it's one way of looking at it. You know. Anyway gang, it's good to see Brandon again. Brandon. Brandon. Brandon.

So I had so much fun last time and you guys, George and Chin, do a good job of like editing the clips and everything. He made it really easy for me to. George, he does all the clips. George, he does it all. And but then I'm like, you know, I'd post it really easy for me to, Georgie does all the clips. Georgie does it all. And, but then I'm like, you know, I'd post it, co-post it, we collaborate. Then I'm reading the comments.

I was like, do your fans like you? Oh, us? Oh my God. Yeah. It's like, I was like, oh, I remember this world. Well, those are fans. But, you know, those are listening and posting. Well, exactly, they're listening.

You specifically, I'm like, this brand and does is fucking try to help others in my business. They don't know Yeah, they just they just they do though. They do they do cocky football player That's how they I don't think that's it. I think I Well, you mean you want to stop playing 20 Back in the day. Yeah, I do think that if people saw the shit you do behind the scenes, they'd be like, oh, I don't think it's a matter. No, they wouldn't care. No, those people we can't win.

Some people just say, you can't. Some people hate you for not being a murderer. You know what, Redgie Jackson said? Fans don't boo, nobody's. No, they don't. Oh, shit. Redgie also said, when he had his third home run

in the World Series, every reporter goes, what were you thinking is you're rounded to bases? He goes, the magnitude of me. He's right. Who's better? But it's true. I know, like, on three pictures,

you just hit three home runs in the World Series. He was rounding second like, God damn, I'm a motherfucking genius. The worst thing I could do if you're really famous is read comments. Like, like, these, you know, any of these athletes I see are these like, you could still read them. Yeah, I mean, I don't. I never have. I never have. I thought that level. I think you have to get the certain. I never, you know, you know, I, I never have.

Because I, I think, you know, who does is Kevin Durant. He's a fucking. He's a beast. God damn it. He's got sense. Yeah, there was a Twitter chat Was it called Twitter chat Twitter? Where you do a group chat? Oh, yeah, and the name of the group was Kevin Durant Is not top five and he crashed it and he just talked to them like the way y'all look at the game is trash Like dude all I know about you is you are top five. Oh, you did. And every time you do this, it makes me just think you're an idiot. It's pretty cool.

Some people like to do that. Like some people like to engage with it and it's there past time. I don't think it's healthy either way. Well, I learn a lot of time to go. But I think the good and the bad are both destructive in a way. Because the good will define you

and you'll start aiming for it so I think it's he I think it's poison all the way around but also my heroes growing up withers and stand up or in athletics they didn't have the option who were your heroes growing up what's your bag what's your bag what's your top fuck your Oh man Jim Carrey Adam Sandler June say I'm a number doo I don't find her in the kid I don't call her Shut up Just like you do

That's very good That's my favorite You know how we do well, don't you? No You know? No I worked with him while I was going on If he did he'd be in his movies

Right? Which all his boys in his movies I'm available I like that a lot of his boys I like that he takes care of his boys. He's super loyal. Yeah, he forces death like to me and sends those deals. He's like, I'll do it, but I'm using my crew and like whatever.

Man, if the world is over. I was on a fighter and a kid. Who are your favors? Who do you look up to? Carlin. Yeah, me too. Oh my God. That's my towel.

Oh yeah, that's cool. Shut pal. Anybody with Al under last name? A towel and she's a pal. Oh yeah, okay. Shut up, hell. Anybody with hell under the last name? A hell, anshapel. A del. A del. How good is a tell? How good is fucking David Tell?

He's- I had a guy call me yesterday and I answered the phone, guess who's not crying? And he knew exactly what I was saying. Like we goes, you know that a tell of it? No, no. Because don't you wish you could have sex with the first person you ever had sex with again,

just to show them how good you got at it? Hey, look who's not crying. Like a big boy. He's the best. You know the farly story with me and him? No. Me and David Teller in our office is like two in the morning. We're not doing any work.

We don't need work. A tell-work what does that live. Yeah, we shared it off I didn't all that and we're like we're smoking cigarettes and like flicking each other in the dick guy stuff Yeah guy stuff and Farley walks in it's like 2 a.m. And just Farley fucking Farley walks in He's like what do you guys do it and at the same time we both said we'll pay you a hundred dollars to take a shit out the window Like creepy twins. Like, we looked at each other like, what are the odds that we said that exact sentence? We'll pay you $100 to take a shit out the window

and Farley goes, give me the money first. So we're just like putting money on that. So it's like coins and dollar bills and he puts the money in his pocket. Then he like lifts up the desk. Farley was herculean strong. Yeah, he lifts the desk up and the coins in a cartoon slide down the desk into his pocket.

Like, it was crazy. And he goes out on the window and puts the window, this is the 17th floor. And he puts the window on the back of his neck and he just starts grinding. And it was obvious right away that Chris Farley did not have to shit at all. Because he was purple, like he was going like, and it's Farley. So he's like,

SON OF A WEEK! And after like two minutes, this little like no big nootin without any nootin, dropped at a Chris's ass and goes in the window onto my desk. And I remember just sitting there like showbiz, right? Showbiz. Showbiz. This is, you wanted to make it, kid. This is it.

This is it. Now you got to have a tightest seat. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. The toe was a writer on toilet life. Yeah. I had no idea. He's so brilliant.

He's so like, who is not crying? So like a big boy. Something about Mace that really bothers my eyes. He makes me lose my erection. Do you have like a holy shit I'm gonna show business moment? Cause I got one better than that. Um, really, I'm not really listening to yours.

I'm just, I can hear his, give me your set of hope. Anyway, my head is good as yours. Behavioral, yeah? My head is not as listening to yours. I'm just, I can hear his, give me your set of notes. Anyway, my last is your behavior, am? Mine is not as good as yours. What do you got? When I did. Do you've had some big moments? When I did the Paris theater in Vegas, when I went to get paid, the guy was writing me my check

and they had a dry erase board of all the acts that month and I was between Shaka Khan and Tony Bennett. Oh, man. Hey, everybody. Damn. I heard Jay Morris coming. Mr. Saturday dance. He's funny now.

Okay. Hi, Brandon. Oh, you know the Virginia basketball coach is named Tony Bennett? No. The college basketball coach. Yeah. And he's great coach.

And one year during the NCAA tournament, he had a heart attack and he took a knee on the court. And so Twitter was fucking like, it's just trending, Tony Bennett, heart attack, Tony Bennett, Tony Bennett. Tony Bennett, the singer, who's like an 80 and getting a little, he tweets, everybody I'm out there as a horse, don't believe what you hear.

That's like, how's it all going? He tweets everybody on out there's a horse don't believe what you hear That's like 30,000 retweets It's just so funny like nobody's talking about there's another Tony but I worry about that guy I'll just for days later he tweet when Frank's not your junior dies When Frank Sinatra junior died his next tweet like for days later as my heart goes out to the Sinatra family and the deaths of Frank Jr. like 11 retweets. Hey, everybody up fire. Hey, box out now. He's doing Tony Bennett doing stuff with Lady Gaga.

Yeah, they did the duet. His voice is just unbelievable still at 90. Yeah, it wasn't. Is there a match? It wasn't bad, but then when it's next to Lady Gaga, it's like a powerhouse. Have you heard them sing together? It's interesting.

Really? I mean, it's a good dance. Like they're just. It does kind of like the talk thing. Yeah. He's like, here, here honey. Let me put a nickel in the machine. Nickel, oh my God.

That's not it. And she's just hitting the notes. He's like, yeah, there it is. She's a good actress. Amy Wildes was trying to sing with him. How's she doing? And she's there. So you didn't hear, but now bring up the article on her.

20, but no, she just couldn't. She kept quitting. She kept stopping. I'm not good. No, she was so nervous. Would they kill the team? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they did well Yeah, he said he said he started he didn't tell her how important she was I Really saved Tony Bennett really killed Amy Winehouse, right?

I'm not saying that He's still reason. Yeah, you were in Denver. You did all the morning shows. Yeah, I did I will be the best great. Yeah, I did. And we would be. The best. Yeah. Lewis and Kathy, they're great. And it's just good people, man. I love those. Those. KB Lewis's. Rik Lewis is a solid guy.

Like they'll have you on. They'll stretch the clock. Like they let's go. He's like a guy's guy like a boxer. Yeah. He's like, he like takes fights like he's a boxer. Yeah. I never talked to him about that.

But he doesn't like you. What? He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's a big sort of tall But Matt McChesney is is I was watching video. Yeah, he teaches college in high school kids Yeah, to get ready for college and he gets him ready like it's like his intense. Yeah, coach teaches him what? football. Oh get the get your fucking get your fucking arm down I put you on lay some pants on somebody got this you know I when you know this like because I was out of show business for a couple years

sure you look at my AMD b page it goes from like movies with forest wittaker and al Pacino and then all of a sudden it's like nothing nothing talking dog movie I didn't want to do this. But I'm not a lead dog. I'm like the salesman at Chewie Vuitton. I work at bark Williams. So I was out, I was going up my point. So when I came back into standup,

after rehab and all that, maybe not such great cities, like that I wasn't thrilled about, it was pretty humbling. But we're like the first shows at 6 p.m., 5.30 p.m., people are eating salad. I want to kill myself though. I did a morning show and the TV gets dicey. I think it was Grand Rapids.

I did the morning, good morning Grand Rapids and I went on after a blind girl hit a free throw. And then somebody put a big long stick somebody had a big long stick and they're tapping the backboard so she gets like honing on it like a bad sonar okay should she hit it she drank it the crowd goes nuts and they're like so we're here with Jamie Moore. I'm like, what? Fuck, I'm not gonna follow that. I should've been like, I am.

Right? I missed the old days where you just had to follow somebody making an omelet. All those morning TV shows, like, I'm in the fucking three point. So when you do some of those morning TV shows, like, how are you guys keeping the lights on? Like, you look around, you're like, who's watching?

How do you do it in the first place? Like that's the same thing. But also they're the same everywhere you go. Like, hey, I'm sitting here with Jay Moore. How you feeling, man? It's like the guy from the weather guy just walks over from the green screen and goes, okay, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they've done no research. Like, yeah, we had Jay Moore, Jay McGuire, that must have been fun, huh, you know? Any pranks on set? What are the pranks like? Well, one time I took a shit and Tom Cruise's mouth. Like you were good in junior, I regret you.

You know what I'm saying? He's actually Dominican, are you? Rumors. How about that? Did you get to know Tom Cruise at all? He was great. He was great, right? He's great.

He's great. That fucking wattage. Yeah. He, my dad said to me, Tom Cruise the greatest like manual, ever meet in your life. He's like Dale Carnegie, like it's nuts. And my dad goes, my dad raised in the same races as Tom Cruise. Oh yeah, he told us this and then when you saw me

he fired up. Oh yeah, okay. I got it. I was trying to help you. Yeah, I was trying to help you. Yeah, thanks. I was trying to help you. You were like the comments before. I only have like 14 stories.

It's just a loop. It's just a loop. It's just a loop. I don't loop. It's just a maze. It's a lazy, it just gets super quiet. By the way, I got caught in a hell strong for a... There's bad out there in Denver.

I couldn't pay. But by the way, we ran out of stuff talking about it. No, I couldn't believe. No, I was just thinking about this weather. No, I was thinking about this because I like Your car gets destroyed. I didn't know that endeavor Yeah, but that's insane You know, but I'm driving back to people my quality is the sin of banality. Yeah, well, that's true But I mean when you're when your windows get like this big when you're

tornado did hail tornado my in my he's got a convertible. Yeah, anyway parents tree fell in their house in my name. He's got a convertible. Yeah. Anyway, parents tree fell in their house. Fuck it, not, man. That's no joke. There was a hailstorm, would you drive to Denver?

Well, I drove back from the airport and started raining and all of a sudden, I swore to God, the car started going, boom, boom, boom. I think I was just gonna fuck my car up. And I'm like, are you kidding me right now? And then you get caught out there. I got bunch of people, like I killed, didn't I?

And I went to a bunch. I went to a bunch. How many people? You'll be a special injured. You have bunch of people that got killed, didn't they? And, uh, I would say a bunch. How many people? You have to be a special injured. You have to be a special idiot killed by the... Look at that out. Much people that are at a concert. Like, hell?

Yes, like, I mean, I've been hit with like golf ball size hail and it fucking hurts. Oh. But for it to kill, you have to be a real pussy. List of costly or... Call our app through this one. Right there.

Ingers nearly a hundred. Look at that. Uh, well, it's not, Ingers nearly a hundred look at that Well, it's not ingers on it. Yeah injured because when they're big like that Yeah, I don't think I'm not laughing. It was probably more from getting trampled as people were running Not nobody died Brian and he wants someone to die there. Wait a people died in Texas Tennis ball sized hail storm cheese. Oh, that's a sir. It hurts. It blows out your, will you be saying his car was out there and all the windows got, got to show you. It's rare it happened that, but it happened when I was in college.

But you get kind of that health. I mean, it fucking hurts. It feels like just, you know, BB guns. Yeah. How's the weather where you're at, Jay? What a folding rectangle. Well, the only three people have been known to be killed by Hale Stun.

So if you get killed by Hale, you're an asshole. That's what I'm saying, you'll be real. I mean, in 1930, a baby's a really easy to kill. That's terrible. Unfortunately, if you're like old and wheelchains get stuck out there, you can see it lighting up. But it's gonna happen eventually. Just grab your jacket, put all your hat on.

You'll get some of that right. He says they're the highest Hale Storm death year Yep, but it's gonna happen eventually just oh just grab your jack and put all your life on you're gonna survive right there The highest Hailstorm death year on record was 1888. Oh shit. All right. Well, that's great. That's like that's like um You fucking got a Florida and go to store you guys wanted to Is that my over? No on, we'll talk. Well, let's shift it to snake bite. Yeah. Your energy was good today, because the Lakers signed the Great White

Hype, our boy Reeves. Austin Reeves. What? He's made pretend I know. Yeah, he doesn't know. He's on fallbacks. You were going to sign on the matter. Austin Reeves is the white dude on the Lakers, like the only white dude.

And he's a ball. And the playoffs, he's a ball. That's white dude and he's a ball in the playoffs. He's a ball That's all Brian needs to know yeah white By his jersey now I'm an athlete guys ball, but I thought I thought he was gonna Leave because you see some the context of their offering no, it's because they had the right to match It was just saying don't get wrong. He's a baller. You don't can pay him on a 20 million Yeah, like some of these guys would have Get in they would have paid him whatever it was. Oh man Whatever it was they would have matched it because he's just he's a generational talent or at least a generational like

Yeah, like box office talent like people love watching this guy play really really just a fucking grinder What like it's hard to say scrappy. He's a scrappy fucker, what is he? Yeah, and he always gets contact, he's always at the shoo. And he had like, it's when you make the threes too. Like if you're 3% it's just good, that's great. But if you're making threes again in a playoff game and it's from half-court at the buzzer to put you up 11, it's like, bang on my love this guy. Yeah, he's a real one.

So his mom sat right behind me at one of the playoff games. And I was like, why is he keep looking? I didn't realize it, but I'm like, why is he keep looking over here? So after he made a big play, he looked over at his mom. And I was like, this is like, I just want to, like that's all anybody's, it'll, everything that's wrong with us are good with us.

It all goes back to the living room as a kid. I just want you to look at me. That's why I'm doing, that's why I'm dancing in front of the TV. That's exactly right. And then he'd hit a three and he'd be like, go into the free throw line. He's like, one time we're at a Lakers game. And my son, so he gets to his 10.

And Rajan Rando, who looks kind of like a gargoyle anyway, he just keeps looking at my son going, like doing gang signs, and my son starts crying like, why is Rhonda keep looking at me? And we're all like, I don't know, like Raja Rondo's like really mad dog at my son. His parents were sitting right by,

and his whole, there was like 11 Rhonda, like three rows behind me. He looks like Rhonda. He looks like he should be outside like the St. Regis in Manhattan About the fourth floor looking down a traffic Franklin the turtle wow, he's a Celtic for a while. He's good player There he is with his head on crooked What what position does the other guy play Reeves? Is he card? He's a guard guard, yeah.

But where do you see the money some of these free agents getting you like, I guess that dude's worth 100 mil, three year 100 mil. Dude, I remember- It's a bit of a pain, look at that nuts. I remember sourcaps, you're like the evolution of- Why is that? Like what's like that, that,

that, what, Levard, the, Lamello Ball signed a deal, it was like three years, I forget, with 200 million, four years 200 million. They showed he'll make more in those four years than Jordan made his entire career. Now, it's different, like obviously inflation stuff, like that, there's more money in the game now.

But it's just people compared to that. Yeah, but if four years, that's gonna be a middle of the pack contract. Correct. Because that happened with my con leaf when he signed a massive contract, but I guess it was the jazz. I was like, God, how do you pay that guy that much?

And like three years go by and he's just in the middle of the pack. Well, that's like salary cap goes up. That's like Steve Ne Smith when Pat McAfee signed with ESPN recently. And he was like, man, he's making so much more money than you. And he's like, this is a good thing.

He's like, this is good. This is great. He goes, I have, he was my contract ended up, ends up the end of this year. Now I know what I have, you know, now I know. No, I know. No, I know, yeah. I like, how about ESPN lays off like 440 people,

but they give this guy 110 million dollars. And he's getting so much money. Why did ESPN lay off all those people? 21 people on our talent. I don't know. No one's paying attention when you you go woke you'll bro is that what is that yeah because it because it

because it's going away from sports and i'm like all this weird political right right they started diving to that people as does matter like people watching i'm trying to see if the Yankees beat the red socks why are you but they did it but they did a poll on capitol yeah they did a poll on that the affirmative action thing when the supreme court you know overturned that the media is going crazy right Michelle Obama and everybody but the majority of Americans black brown white Asian all are against race based correct yeah it's just interesting and Brian's talked to them all I have a quote in the polls yeah I think I'll say this but he has to in like date like go of like Jalen Rose Mike van Gundy like all these people

It's like who's what yeah, it doesn't matter right who cares. Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, it should happen It's it you know, I mean it's like yeah, I'm with you like we've been through the barrel. We've got fucking time out Coming in now, yeah, right? I'm gonna do and at the end of the day, nobody cares. No. Yeah, but also we've been in it. Just stay away from the next guy to jump on. Yeah.

We live in a truly capitalistic, market-driven economy. I'm talking about comics and actors. Like, there's nobody's, nobody's coming to help you. There's no bailout. There's nothing. You'd either you or we'll see you later. Like you have to put butts in the seat or not and nobody can really, it's interesting.

Like a lot of people don't live that way. It's where our whole existence is subjective. Our entire career is whether or not other people like us and go. Fuck. Like nobody has that. Like these guys said it, like they're funny guys, right? But they just, there's a task, they complete the task, you go, okay, cool.

Like, they know they completed the task. Yeah. Like, you know, like, if I'm a clerk, I put these things away and then I go over here and then I write this report and then I hand it to that guy. That's just how, it's just a machine, it's just a hive that goes. Our whole thing is whether or not strangers,

hundreds at a time are like, he was like, you've got to get their attention to begin with. So they come to see it. Right now. That's why I open with a joke. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so proud of that joke.

I'm so fucking proud of that joke just now. I'll take it. I'm so proud of that fucking joke. I just don't know. But then now as a comic or even in podcasts, like the, like it's a deep pool, though. I just compete with so much. Yeah, but money off the garbage.

Yeah, but then you guys are great. Some of the garbage people deal with, you know, and it's going, I don't have a resemblance to hate that at anyone. Like I'll see some, like, oh, that's insane. Every comic on Instagram is doing crowd work. Yeah. Like what, what's the new stuff?

Is that your new stuff? Well, that's a big, but made works for people copy it. So Matt Reif is really great at it. And his new shorts was good. No, no, no, no. But people follow. Matt Reif is new. You can't say Matt Reif just got on as far as big,

but he's got famous stuff. I'm gonna tell you guys, Matt Reif, it sounds like you're making fun of Asians. Oh, Matt Reif. Oh, Matt Reif. invasions. Oh, not a rife. He's not rife. I pronounce it in Mandarin.

Not rife. Shots you've been doing for years, for years. But I'm saying that that's like six months. There are two stark examples, but most, you know, and everybody copies that. But two people have really made it work for themselves. Has anybody ever gotten a deal doing crowd work? The answer is I believe no. We have to find deal.

To find deal as far as selling that like from live nation for touring, yeah, I know it's people. You don't get a deal that like you get paid per touring, but deals as in, you know. I gotta get out of this fucking business. It's a Well if crowd work helps you see my opening access sits on my opening acts are selling out of rena's now It's a yes, whatever you it's whatever get whatever it is it doesn't matter. I never really turn on an apple tin Yeah

Yeah, but then then also your fight. I like that club actually. Yeah, it's not a bad club. But then you're fighting the demon of YouTube too. That Rogan called it, but it was just like, when he went out and he's a guy's name to get out, it's only gonna get worse. I'm like, I get that, but we're not YouTube. So if we jump, we lose the fan base.

Like we're not YouTube. When you get out of what? YouTube? YouTube, because YouTube's censoring it, like if we cuss early on this, it's suppressed suppressed so the freedom of speech on YouTube is no longer that like Tim Devin except for in the comments he did yeah a lot of people get like Why why cuz they're suppressing with you talk about who are you talking about I'm Tim Dylan Okay, Matt's I mean stop and so because of the way he talks about it. They suppress it

Well, whatever if he cuss he he sits on they don't like it boom Well, I don't think this because Tim Dylan doesn't like black people. They should take him up Yeah, yeah, I think that's a Strashing I mean where's his first amendment right? You have you heard of 85 South? It's three comics. They they tore together. They do a read is now. They're massive But early on are they three black guys? Yes, which is the 85 South. But, yeah, DG and FLY. A DG and FLY.

But what they did early on is they said, they would meet with YouTube, because one of their videos would do whatever, a million views, next one do 60,000 views. Or for three months, they would be getting $60,000 a month, the next month, they would get 10,000. They're month, the next month they would get $10,000. They're like, oh, you can't run a business like this. It's up to their discretion.

And you know how it is, I argue with you two all the time, when you go to them, they don't give you any explanation like, nope, we just don't agree with it. But tell us why, nope, sorry. So what they did is built their own platform. Like, really? We're going to get, we'll put a highlight on YouTube and still have our page But now everyone has come over here. We're doing our so they on rumble or they're just What are the guys names sound like you were calling in an air strike or something 85 South. Yeah, where are the guys names?

Young fly 85 South DC young fly Clear who else it's a joke People are shrewd gang this is mother goose 85 South DC young fly I'm all your remaining firepower within my compound They're massive though massive. That's three guys DC young guy. Yeah Did you use did you want other names? I'm really as Carlos Miller? Cheek go beef fucker your eyes. Cheek obeying Holy fuck yeah You don't have a bunch in the black hole sun video

Wow Are you a demon he can see you can see you guys related? No Takes all kinds Who knows being observational guys DC young boy young fly fly Chico bean there's just being observational, guys? DC Young Boy. Young Fly. Chico Bean. There's two DCs. No, there's DC Young Fly.

Young Fly, that's one guy. DC Young Fly. His wife just passed away. Just passed away. So there's DC Young Fly. Chico Bean, who's like the brain's operation. And Carlos Miller. Yeah, and Carlos Miller.

I need three comments to go. Carlos Miller needs a cooler name. I need a name. You got a Chico Bean, you're gonna roll him. You need a cool name? I can make a cool name. I need three comments. Yeah, Carlos Miller needs a cooler name. You got a Chico bean You're gonna roll him you need a cool name. I feel like cross face cross face cross face cross face cross face killer Your side cradle Crot yeah cross face. I like rings What wrinkles rings for him. Yeah rings. No, but I need something fly rings

It's a good clown name, right rings They say fly. Rings. He's a good clown name, right? Rings. Be let's take a little break from channel with our good buddy Jay Moore. One of the best dude. The best you do it.

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We're back guys. I think we're too old for nicknames at this point. I think so too. And that's when, you know, we found the body, so. Right, that's right. And that was, I remember weeping over the holes. I told him to get his tattoo as well, I think. There's nothing I would get.

Hey, this might be a hot take, but, and I'm not a Biden fan any faster, but 100 Biden looks pretty fun hanging out with. He does. I'm just gonna go on record. This guy looks like he's a blast. Back in the day when I was wild. Yes.

It looks like he'd been a good co-pilot. Yeah, he, yeah. Driving 100,000 miles an hour to done big his highway. Oh wow. On meth, on meth in a fucking crew. How do you fuck up that headline with a photo of 172 circled in red and the headlines says 175.

How the, what fucking outlet is it? Why do I curse? Wow though. And he's in a turbo Porsche going to Hunter's Safe Miles an hour on meth. Are you out of your mind? He's good. Oh, that's amazing.

And there's a hooker in the car. I'm just saying, I don't condone what he's doing but seems like a fun time back in the best. That's, that's him. Why not condone it? Who gives a shit? Yeah, you're right. Well, because he'd kill other people, I guess, driving the fence, right?

Look at him. Look at him. He's all cracked out right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn, he's got baby shoes in his mouth. Look at him fucking safe. Never, hey, never take the first white on the color chart at the Dennis Love. No, no, no, no.

He looked like a Drena Partridge of the West of your life. Yeah no. You look like a Drina Partridge at us, your life. Like, just move a couple down, get like the off-white. It's too obvious, yeah, you're like, Hey, Aaron, Ryan, yeah. That white, that's too, that's fine. But the stuff come back, out on him is nuts. And then he got a slap on the wrist, right? Yeah.

Where most people go to wait for like six years. Car back, went away for three years. Yeah. Well, you did it. But then they leaked his WhatsApp, text, and now he's kind of fucked. What do you mean? There's more stuff in that him talking to the Chinese government threatening for 10 million. They deposit the 10 million. They bank account

Cracked on pay for itself, maybe That boy is wild. He did some shit. Hey, this is the other thing though. Like I can kind of Understand some of it like let's say But you know, let's say you were, like, you know, a big time in the government, you would take care of your boys. Yeah. And I'm saying, like, I understand

Hunter Biden has no business being, you know, the middleman with Ukraine and China, but it's your boy. We got to give him a job. We got to bring him. Well, no, no, no, here's my, here's the rub. It's like, so you're the vice president, son. What, your your vice you dad is nothing to do. He can just be never talk to you What happens is other those companies those fucking companies from Ukraine China wherever they might be and they come to you

They come to you and they say we'd love to give you a job We want to pay you a million dollars great to sit on our board. We just want to we just want you to I accept I accept and you have no experience in the oil business Whatever you're not gonna say now. I'm our board. We just want you to put it back. Okay. I accept it. And you have no experience in the oil business, whatever. That's what I'm doing. You're not going to say now. No, I accept it.

You're going to go, you want to fly me first class to have a meeting and then just put me on a payroll? And you're hundred buy me? Are you giving me 1.5 million? They're absolutely. Okay, I'll do them. And with bonuses, if we do well. I'll do them.

So you're going to, you're being, you got, he's smoking where he's got hookers, he's getting paid. His dad could have done nothing. And he, but they obviously obviously there's a pay to play. Obviously they wanted to say some things or at least just get Biden's attention. And there's gonna be corruption, but.

Well, the corruption too. He's gonna do it. Yeah, but when it starts influencing the dad too and the dad receiving money as well. Well, his dad in that situation would probably, if his dad was smart to save himself, your trouble is father would say don't do this. They're doing it because of, but we all know this.

Like the Clinton, this Clinton foundation, the minute Hillary Clinton lost the presidential election, all funding dried up. Nobody was giving money to the foundation. No fair, there's no favor to be given there. But why would you? So what do they think? Because company countries like Saudi Arabia were giving money to the foundation. There's no favors to be given there. But why would you? So what do they think? Because company countries like Saudi Arabia

were giving money. No, not. But why is he lost? Why would you do that? But it was obviously that proved that it was a slush fund. Of course. That proved that it was all fucking bullshit. Well, that's across the board, how it goes.

So what's the hope, like the Chinese oligarch, the word oligarch, I don't even know what it means. What do you think? The Chinese oligarch, like their hope is that Hunter Biden at Thanksgiving goes, Dad, you know what? You should really talk to a duck son. Yes, that is the case. And Dad goes, oh,

and he just goes into fucking, he goes down to the boat house and goes, duck son. Yeah. My son said you're a nice guy. Yeah, I just want to know, like, well, no, more of more of that, if there's a contract and they want, you know,

to pass, they get it. If there's political, there could be a political push or just a nod in that direction. Won't you fucking crooks all of them? You know, I was listening, I listened to Radio in the car all the time, like, I like talk radio. And I listened to like the right wing talk radio.

There is really a lot of left wing, I don't know, maybe you'll let me know in the comments. But the right wing, there always go like, well people say Trump did this, but Biden did that earlier, and it's like, well then why is in your show all of these people suck? Like why are you picking a side on this?

Do you say play for a team? If the whole highway is fucking in need of repair Correct take your thoughts off the air. It's exactly right though That's that's where that's where Washington becomes an economy of influence So there's no difference after all between Democrats and Republicans. It's just about being in a position Where you can help someone out and that's when you know there's a great book and he says there's one line it He said you know you have a problem you know you have a problem when good people must behave corruptly to survive and that's what you get in

it bookish it though but bookish it's called Republic laws by Lawrence Lessick and he's a constitutional scholar out of what the cockful says the people get the government they deserve right yes but we have lost he says we are losing a republic as long as you got major problems for americans and congress is spending most of their time doing what arguing about swiping fees for banks because that's who gets an elected and if you're a congressman you spent sixty percent of your time

off campus meaning our our our our boy uh our boy she's not a role I know I was trying to get us out of it but our boy uh Robert F. Kennedy he he had a lot of momentum And boy did you forget he's a Democrat boy did he fuck up? He lost a lot of the momentum Because like and awesome. I want to take away guns Americans went oh Well joint. I sent you that arc on him Did you read it now? I saw who made it and I was like, I'm gonna pass. You know what party I vote for down ballot? Block party.

Block party is what I'm talking about, bro. Remember, when I ever have a block party, is when you're a kid that close off the street. Close off the street. All the adults are day drinkin', you're bouncy house. You always have that really. How pretend you don't know that? You have your really good jump on your bicycle,

you jump your friends, kids would line up on the ground, you never want to be the kid on the end. No. And then I remember we had this guy, Stevie, lived down the street, he had Down syndrome, and we'd make him chase us, and we'd go in.

We'd go in the back door of my house, and we'd run out the front door of my house, and we'd stand and drive away, and and just watching run back and forth in my house Like that was good time is good. That's good. What's like tomorrow's July 4th? It's good time like our kids don't know July 4th, and then stand very still. Yeah He's to pick us up our balls You're so strong He's so strong, man. I think that's a man.

It's like scarring. Look, I think it affected my erection to like my whole area for rest of my life. Because like, I mean, it was like many times a year. He'd come home from like his school, he went to school like somewhere else, right? And when he was home, he knew how to whistle really good. And he would whistle like, and we would hear it and we would fucking just, like hide, like we'd run into the woods, but he would've all the fuck.

He was like the terminator. And remember once we were on the Todd Piper's couch in his basement, like his parents had a bar with like leather couches and there was like a TV stand but it was closed, like you couldn't see in there, like it was closed. So we go under the couch and it went on, it was like an L, okay, it was an L couch

and there was a TV stand here or a coffee table, but it was closed here. So we crawled under the couch and we went under where the TV thing was, coffee table was like, you couldn't see us. And I remember we were just under there and we just hear footsteps coming down, like he lived down the fucking street

and he walked inside Todd Piper's house went into the basement and just reached in By the next stop by her dick like ah, and then he just would go home Was it older than you guys? Yeah, it sounds like Stevie's message guys to you. Yeah, you maybe you fight and say his last name That's a salt brother brother. It was weird. My nuts hurt now, literally like talking about it. On Denver, there was an advertisement, huge advertisement that said it had one guy, famous guy, cameraver, and I think the baseball player. And then it had somebody with Down syndrome.

Another baseball player. And it said, yes, and it said, Down syndrome people have just as much a right to a job and a good way of life. And it's like, well, I know. I'm not, I'm not thinking. Who the fuck is saying, who the fuck is saying they don't? I mean, I don't want to fly my plane. Who is your advertisement?

I don't want to fly my plane. Like you can serve the plane. Yeah, because I've been always, I've always railed against them having any kind of dignity and having like a right to it. I don't know anybody who's like fucking rid of these debts. We can't have them having anything. That's not a sexy lobby.

No. No, it's like, all right, yeah, we agree. But why is it a professional baseball player? Yeah, you said you want that Stevie Kidd throw curveballs for the color of it? Is it next to the office that's against slavery too? That you guys have to share an office. You guys anti-slavery too.

So what should just be spray-paint? So what should just be spray-paint go, no shit. Yeah, of course, man. What a waste of money. Yeah, that kinda shit drives me fucking nuts. But back to the blockbrize, there's not many blockbrize. And also July 4th, when I was a kid, my dad used to take us to the firework,

like the tents they put up, you grab the basket, put on all those dope, like black cats and M80s. Now, my kids have never launched a firework. You know, I grew up overseas and I never have anything to relate to when people talk about their jobs. Where's the girl's overseas?

I didn't move here until I was 14. But it's funny when people say, remember we had to, we grew up on a block ever. He grew up here at 14. I was 14, but it's where people say remember we had I just grew up on a block ever He grew up here. I was born the Philippines and then we moved to India Calcutta and Bombay and then big house and then Lebanon and then Pakistan Then Lebanon again and we broke out and we were stuck there for a while and then we got evacuated to Greece and then Saudi Arabia How do I know this about 14 years old? I went to boarding school. That's way so weird my parents stayed then Saudi Arabia. How did I know this about? 14 years old I went to boarding school. That's why it's so weird. My parents stayed in Saudi Arabia

and I had to go away to boarding school when I was 14. It's why I didn't connect with anybody. Yeah, you know this. That's why I thought it was a serial killer. Oh, dude, it's like a devil. It's why I'm dead behind the eyes. It'd be a great serial killer. I had to break, I had to not get attached to people.

That's why I'm a really... Why are you doing this character of the guy that's like almost a serial killer talking to us right now? It's exactly the same. I am normal normally I'm really happy to be here blank Blink your fucking eyes creep. Huh creep blank. Okay. There you go So as a kid though even when I was not a blank be time ex-off even when you were 14 Never no fireworks in New York nothing. No, you've never seen a firework. I mean I'm just gonna live I didn't go up with TV. I mean, I'm just a living. I didn't

group with TV. I people are realize like, well, we had to do with TV back then was they would do they would tape the shows on video and then they would send them. We had beta max, but you grew up normal, right? With fireworks. Yeah, you know, when I remember about fire, I mean, the kid is like, it was just at the high school football fields and we just walked over. We laid on a blanket. Now it's like, you just at the high school football fields and we just walked over we laid on a blanket now It's like you got a drive to fucking Malibu Hills or oh hi, and you guys like parking good luck. I know it's also cuz the fires Just so many fire that's why they made my illegal cuz all the right fires. Oh, I leagueality never entered in my mind

It's just a pain in the ass. I set my my my my my my brother was launching those Smoke bombs they said I said our fucking bush on fire. I was out there with a hose It's all good baby. You know what they say So dad put that fire get the core the hell will put it out. Yeah nice call back I love callbacks. It's mother. They've claimed a hell I We used to take the bottle rockets and put them in the end of the Wiffleball back. Because on the bottom of the Wiffleball bat,

there was a little hole. Yeah. So you just put them in there and light them, and you just hold the Wiffleball out. You shoot at each other, right? That is great. See, when I kept my kid in the rock fights? Yeah, but I didn't grow up like,

do what's awesome about being a American as you grew up in a neighborhood. Oh, we know a lot of the kids. It looks like you bought a Christmas game board to get some of this. You had to grow up when I lived in other apartments and to get a camel. neighborhood. We know all the kids. It looks like you buy this game board to each other's house. You had to grow up when I lived in other apartments in the camel. Yeah, or you grew up in a compound. It's kind of weird. Really like caviar shit. What you grow up in a year? Caviar con. That was our that was our chef's name. Con. Let me go caviar, please.

So was your dad like in the CIA or? He was a banker. Yeah, buying that, right? Banker? Too smart for that. Was that a banker? Yeah, man. Where's my camera? No one's buying that.

He worked in a bank, asked me which banker. Which bankers? Why? The one over there. I had a spy on my podcast, Pete Turner. He's got a podcast now that break it down show with Pete Turner. It takes about spying. And I said, so like, what's your actual job title?

He goes, I feel gaps. I go, all right. And then I did like the, the soft play, you know? And then like, I was like 11 minutes go by, I go, so like, what's your job title? He goes, I work in phonetics space. And then I got, I said, and then finally, I got in phonetic space. And then I got him to say, and then finally I got him to close. The closest I got him was I watch people that watch us.

Oh, that's good too. I had a good idea. Is he active like right now? Who knows? What I was, what I was going to tell you when I was in fucking I'll give you his number. He's a great guy. No, I want those. They should have him on. I'd love to you You ever do you assault you assault tour? No, I'd love so I did this you

I start to run me and my me and me and dubbed David I was just looking for special forces guys and the one this one woman she goes if you guys are really into that She goes that guy that those guys over there and she points to this dude She goes those guys do stuff. They never wear uniforms then they despair and come back and come back. Those are the private guys that you'd be interested in. And that's all she said about it. And then I go, we ended up talking to them. And I go, what do you do in the military? And he goes, he goes, this and that.

That was so cool. I don't, my ego's too big. I can never give an answer like that. I'll never. I'd be like, I need the word of life. I just sold out the Comment works Almost spy you know, I can probably get you in anywhere You want me spying somebody? I'll do it. I just did the other day

I said hold on a buying stuff Me it was you. Yeah, I'd be I'd be squailin man. So how long were you overseas like what am I looking at 14 years of my life? No, US outdoor numb nuts NUMNUTs. Oh, two weeks, 11 years. Two years, two years. Yeah, between 11 days, between 11 days and two years, I can't remember. I think, I think you're talking like a spy.

I think 11 days. I went from infinite to finite, I know, I know. We went to a lot. Is the USO tour still going on? I remember we were trying to do one like eight years ago. Yeah, they still like, No, it got too dangerous.

I wanted to go back every year and they were like, it's too dangerous because after 2007, they tried to let us go to them. We wanted to go to the fobs the forward operating basis. They were like, no. If you're gonna do it, do it, right?

That's what I felt when you were out there. I wanted to do it. Bitch. I had to, like, somebody, I was offered Ukraine. I was offered to go shoot. You feel it? Yes, I was offered.

Didn't I tell you this? No. So some retired Special Forces fellows were going there, and you know, I do that show best of where I go down, and they said, come to Ukraine. What show is this, you do? It's just that they're traveling on YouTube, I should. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But they said to me, they all got the get them. They said, look, man, we will get you. This is how they pitch that they go. We'll get you inside Ukraine. You can shoot and you'll get to talk to the real Ukrainian people and what's going on. We'll get you anywhere

you want. And I said, I go, I go, I go, so how do we do this? So here's what we do. We fly in. I can't tell you where, but it's going to be either a place in Hungary or Poland. And then what we'll do is we'll take a train for about nine hours and then we'll take a car for about eight hours and I was like I'm just not doing that of course. Yeah, right because you said because the problem is they have that Russians have spies in those Train stations, so they always but even if it was even it was a direct flight to Ukraine. You're still not doing a Correct sir. Why are you I'm doing a YouTube show? Yeah, why is that? That's interesting that you're a target. Because they saw this guy who was a special versus guy saw my show, my best.

No, no, I know why you're interesting and why you do a show. But why would you... What's interesting about you to the Russian government that they would buy? No, no, it would be the Ukrainians. So, here's why. Because number one, these guys are getting...

These guys are independently getting paid apparently to do things like Train the Ukrainian special forces So they kind of have their own side business But then the idea would be the Ukrainians would be very interested in getting an American to give them a sympathetic I a sort of a sympathetic view on what they go through what's really happening so that that that Influences the US government to keep it out there Keep funding going. So what's the problem with that? That's what that was their motivation to get me to come there dangerous

They're getting bought like I just don't know what dying that way because it's really dangerous Oh, I thought it was like kidnapping or something There could be could it could be that. Russians get a whole mi-sfo. Well, yeah, so the Russians have a very vested interest also in making sure that if you're training the Ukrainian Special Forces through the end of the Russian, they're gonna kill you.

Yes. And those guys are... Get with that Wagner guy. Yeah, that guy's... Go him in Germany. Pro-pro-pro-pro-vitch him. I've seen black Fridays that were more effective than this guy's fucking coup. I know. They got to like, the shopping cart row in the parking lot and they just fucking out.

By the way, you were gonna fuck with Putin, huh? Who's been in power for 23 years, really? I was a head out of him. He remember before Putin was like, yeah, yeah, it's all good. And now it's like, no, dead on a ride. Correct. That must break you. Yeah. And by the way, yeah, it's all good. And now it's like, no, dad on a ride, that must break you. Yeah. And by the way, they made it to with Belarus. The president of Belarus is in power because of Putin.

Putin tells the president of Belarus to do, to jump, he jumps. So, Pregoyan, got in over his skis. When you do that with Putin, you fucking die. But it's screwed. And that's what's already taken over. Let's all be just back to you going to Ukraine. I know we need uptake and views, but that ain't it.

That ain't it, man. That ain't worth it. That ain't it. Steve Gorman, drummer for the Black Cross. Can you guys bring the fighter in the mor? I'll tell the story another time. Brian's gonna die, you have to fill in for him. Fightin' the mor.

You guys are fresh. Fightin' the mor? You guys are crushed. War fighter. Tell me what we're gonna say. Steve Gorman from the Black Rose, they did a corporate show in in St. Petersburg in 1993, 94. It was like Martha Stewart was there,

like Steve Jobs, maybe some of the names that I'm saying aren't, but that ilk of people, they got paid, like each guy walked with, and they're like after the show, like let's go get a beer. And they went to a bar and they lasted two sips of beer. And Black Rose, by're like, after the show, like, let's go get a beer. And they went to a bar, and they lasted two sips of beer. And black crow's, by the way, at the time, we're all six, five, all of them, our big tall guys.

Oh, really? Oh yeah, Steve Gorman's a big boy. You mean the guy was married to Kate Hudson? Yeah, and they look like a biker gang. Like, they're cool guys. Be grateful to the computer. And they got like two sips into the drinks, and all like five, six, cool guys, they're great for your computer. And they got like two sips into the drinks and all like five, six, seven guys,

just like we need to go back to the hotel immediately. Like it was like the fucking wild one. Really? Like right, free and put and it was nuts. Yes. There's Steve Gorman. But remember Louis CK, right when the UK wore launch. Well why are you looking it up?

Like I'm lying. Wait Steve. What if I was lying? So that grows I thought that it just flies That's not true at all That's just not true. He's all there massive five say bring him up bring him up. Let me see some pictures Yeah, look like so those guys are out in a bar in Russia, I know like they're super though. I could I could beat them. Steve's these the guy in a I could beat every one of those guys up at the same time You could be pretty much anybody, but I mean come on look at those guys. They were all drug addicts who cares? I know how this turned into black. I know what you mean to Not even pro-attack right kick them in the legs. Why are you being mean to that's what other?

I love the carmanian. I love them, but they don't look tough But why would they be tough to me? Why are you being mean to that's what other I love the idea of a convenient I love them, but they don't look tough. But why would they be tough to me? Is this no he's like a biker gang and then they had to say and it's like are they look like they're right in the back of the back. There's like seven of them in a bar and two steps in the you know a Brian you wonder why I eat. No, I apologize, but it's true that they it's true that Russia back then was fucking dangerous.

But of think about Louis K. What about that? He is during right when the UK were started. He's supposed to do tours all of you, Krayon and Russia. And as they're flying there, they get the call and like, no, you got to turn around. Lucy K still wanted to do it. You know, I'm playing like, Hey, it's still have hopes.

We can touch down and figure it out. So it's on your way. Yeah, he was on the way. You got to do it. You got to do it over the North Pole. You've already circled the globe. He was committed. He was still got to do it. You got to do it. You're over the North Pole. You've already circled the globe. He was committed.

He was still down to do it. And then I came in and just stuck looking at Steve Gormey. I'm just double checking. He's got a 5-6. They're all 6-5. You got your... No, that's off my foot, man. No, he's got 5-6.

That's off my foot. Well, look at my Wikipedia. It says I'm 5-6. How tall are you? 5-10. See how tall I am. What does it say? I want to see Jay Moore. 5-9. Yeah, and I'm not 5-9. I'm 5'6". How tall are you? 5'10". See how tall I am, what does it say about? I want to see J-More, 5'9".

Yeah, and I'm not 5'9". You're 5'10 though, so it's off by an inch, dude. That's, I had an assistant pepper and make it go up. And I told her to say my dad was a rabbi. The way, the way to settle this is to just, just, to be able to have that extra. Where's the stuff? We can't, yeah, we have. Get one.

5'7 inches. That's about right. I'm 70 inches tall. What's it say for me? I'll be over you're 70 inches 511 I'm actually taller than 511 You want to I'll take my shoes off more front headlock 6 4 look ranks. That's about right look at how different your face look dude Look at that shit. Oh my god. You look like you work at Wells Fargo. Yeah, and blend ale Men's warehouse. Your nose was so different. Yeah, until you get smashed into pieces.

You're gonna love the way you look. You're gonna love the way you look. What are my parents' names? Gotta be in my Wikipedia page. Like why do I gotta know your mom's? I'm not clear. I'm not clear. Oh, his mom is Deborah's shop.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought it was like that. No. Deborah. Deborah, man. Are your parents still alive, Brian? 83 and 82.

Great. I remember when my mom died and I had to fly home for the funeral and I get back, everybody goes, how was the funeral? I'm like, well, DJ was great. Good food. But I'm not a coke guy, so I left early. How was was the funeral? I'm like, well, DJ was great. Good food. But I'm not a coke guy, so I left early. How was the fucking funeral?

It was a sand. Yeah. So sad. How was the, everybody else? How was the funeral? They all ask it. This was when who died? Your mom.

Your mom, yeah. All the time, that's fun. That's epic. Who were you again? I'm JJ, I'm your son. Who's that man in the kitchen? For how long? How long?

That's your, only two years. We got lucky. I took it as close as I was. My father, my father, my sister got so mad at my dad because he's just eating, like he's just fucking eating it. It's Brian's dad's big. He's a pig. And he's just eating like this, like fucking,

I love George. Stuff that doesn't work any goes, my sister goes, if your heart could jump out of your chest, it would slap you in the face right now. You see like my dad was like, Jesus, gel potatoes, something like that? He doesn't give a. You see like my dad would like me to choose these yellow potatoes, sometimes that? He doesn't give a fuck. I like that.

He leads all the food. Respect. You look like Anthony Quinn sometimes. I know. People tell you that? Yep. Who's Anthony Quinn? So did my dad.

He's got a YouTube channel. He loves him. Anthony Quinn. He's got a great actor. He's got a great YouTube channel. He's got a great actor. Oh, he does look like Brian a little bit. My dad really looks like him.

I'm Anthony Quinn. I'm talking. That's him. Bring up. Bring up. Oh, what was he from? Oh, he's a great guy. Oh, he's a great guy. And some recent from.

What was he from? No, remember I'm not 60 fellas. So, we're by the Greek. I mean, he was amazing. No, but he did some recent movie star, like a huge movie star. He did something recently. He died in 2001.

What were his parents' names? Look at him. Look up. I keep going down. No, this is like right before he dies and gets attacked. Maybe God is what I'm thinking of. You got to go like the 60s. Yeah, you do.

He was a jerk on her to these. Great movie star. Last session here. No. No, go, go, seriously. I go to like the 50s. The 50s? Yeah, like Zorba the Greek.

There you go, right around there. Yeah, look, Zorba the Greek, Beyonce, Lorenzo, Lawrence of Arabia, you know, Requiem for Abewade to Portric and Black and Ron. Guns will never own. Dude, the savage innocence, get out of here. No, but like huge movies. Yeah, 1959, man. It was so easy to be famous then.

To be a comic? Oh my god. You watch like old like I'm so bad. You watch like Flip Wilson on the tonight show. He tells one joke smoking a cigarette like Do you want to banana for your monkey? Yeah. Good night everybody. Yeah. It's like he what? I know. This is fucking garbage. No, I know. Of Jerry Seinfeld, what he did, Johnny Carson, and his five minute set and it changed his whole career. Oh yeah. You know the difference between Paul Reiser and Jerry Seinfeld?

No. Who won these people? Who won these people? That's it. Why, Jim, what do you mean? So the emphasis on the word. Who won these people? Who won these people?

That's very nice. Paul Reiser was like, who, I don't know, who on these people who on these people Who I don't know who on these people did you call the guy you know what they say who's they who's the guy Who's they who's like who on these people? It's pretty true. Yeah, well now there's a music to it I like when you guys get quiet. I know I hit a vein in there. Yeah as we post it, you know, hold on I'm staring at the Google homepage right now, listeners. So this is terrible, obviously, but the kid's okay, not injured. Oh, I love this.

What do you felt? 40 feet down a zip line. Are you fucking kidding? No, no. In Mexico. Yeah. So I'll show you the video. Why your zip line mechs go beyond me.

I think this is family filming it and they didn't realize that they stopped recording. Oh, I give a fuck about her snakes. I don't trust them. Snakes is my only non-starter. Six year old kid. Maybe the instructor. One of the ass crack in the instructor.

That guy's hot. I don't like this. One that ropes. Ready? Ready. It's my. What happened to him, too? Maybe the kid.

He's not injured. Damn, he just. This is scary. So it falls into a lake.. He's not injured. Damn, he just... It's this scary stuff. So it falls into a lake. So I should say that. Oh no! So obviously they scream right here, because... It fell into a lake.

His parents are the ones that didn't want to take it to the hospital. The people that worked at the park, they said like the second to the hospital, but they looked at his injuries, his parents are like, no, he's fine. God, he found the water, thank you. Yeah, and a lake. Before he feet, so I don't know, that's still damaging, right? Ah, yeah, yeah. And he's a six-year-old kid.

But he was fine? He was fine. Yeah, as far as, I guess the parents say. Scroll up, let me see the article under it real quick. The article over it. Other way. Right there. He was taken out of the water by Expedition Amazon.

For the black came and got to him. Well the harness is dead burst. Why does it got to be black, right? That's why I don't know. The black came and the black came and that's a type of crocodile. Fundy Dora Park. Not exactly the Dells in Wisconsin. You know what I mean?

One of the harnesses had burst. What is it? What is the Owen Hart made of balloons? It's just like six-show, I'm doing a whole show for George. I did it with my kid. I would never. That wouldn't even be a whole.

Back in the day, like 1990, I was playing Tulane University, opening for Kennisin, and I was like, well, there's nothing I do. So I, I bungee jumped, but there was no pad. It was just straight to the park. I'm like, I don't know. You know that swing when you do it with a canyon?

The later I'll stand there. Yeah! That's how it's done. Fuck you, dude, right? I don't understand any of that. But like, if you guys did it, I would totally, like, I'm one of those guys, like, I'm not gonna skydive, but if you're like, bro, we're skydive.

We're all on tour, like, come on, bro. Let's skydive. I'm not a fine bitch. You know what, when I went, we went zip lining and rehab, the second rehab I went to, and it's like, just that first step is such a mind, like I felt like Jackie Gleek's like, I'll like to step up, step up the platform, huh?

I should. No, man. But then when you do it the more, and there's no way to get down, and there's no way to leave other than finishing the seven consecutive zip lines, I get higher and higher, and the only way I got to the point where I was okay with it was like,

I pretended I was in the army, and I just had to do it. Yeah, and I was like, alright, I had to the point where I was okay with it was like I pretended I was in the army and I just had to do it Yeah, I was like I had to repel off a cliff I don't know how to get down you fuck that I but when you're on there and you're leaning back and you have to just jump Faith on the rope and I just like terrifies you just like and then you can figure it out No, my son has such a good sense of humor my son's 11 We're in the elevator with my whole family and I go I think it's a good time to tell you I'm not your father. And you typically think it came there. Oh, I said, I go, I think this is a good time to tell you that I'm not your father.

He goes, yeah! Oh, sorry. It sounds like smart. It's fucking good man. That's a good reaction. My son came home the other day at Dogshit on the edge of his hand. My son's allowed to swear when he's with me. He's a level of me too.

It's our thing so he gets in the car. His mom's like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My son came home and there's a day a dog shit on the edge of his hand My son's allowed to swear when he's with me. He's 11 It's our thing so he gets in the car as mom's like, bye She gets so mad at me. He's like, bye door closes and he goes when you're gonna clean this motherfucker I go you didn't do your homework. He goes nah, I go why not he goes cuz I don't give a fuck And I go see my face see my face? I did that, I did exactly that. And he goes, hold on, before you get mad, don't get mad. Let me check the console of your car.

No fucks in there either. No. Sounds like a jerk. Yeah, this kid sounds like you might have some problems. So I struck him about the face in the ears. I said, you're gonna go talk to Uncle Jay. What else you got, Jen? All right, you're the best talk to all about you're gonna you're gonna go talk to uncle uncle Jay What else you got Jen? All right, man of the beast is a big boy. He was so big 200 pounds How does he? Well four 12 years old. He's four years ago. Where's he got his size?

It food this hands he's only eats his beige steroids Everything he eats grilled cheese and fries just but But he's just big bone though, too big body big. He's a big boy. And what, he's 12 and what grade? Six. And then what's he do, do you play cards? Baseball, I remember I used to bring him the wrestling practice when I was coaching

and he was just like, bam, bam everybody. He would just go through all the workout. Like he thought it was fun and I was like, you know what, think about it. When you're a kid, what do you love to do? You like to roll around. Yeah. You like to crash in a shit. Yeah. And you like to grab ass with your buddy.

That was like that. It's like, all right. My mom told me I was a gentle kid. I always thought I was, they're totally different. She goes, no, you were incredibly gentle. Didn't I? You know, my mom told me all this stuff. We're standing in the kitchen once before dinner. And my mom goes, let me see your hands.

I'm so glad you have Ferguson hands. Your father has such a baggy hand. She does, yes, such a baggy hand. And they're like, oh, dinner's ready. And I sat right next to my dad and his little milky white hand just sitting on the tablecloth. It's like, you know, I'm just staring at my dad. Your hands, there's a book called The Pugeless at Rest,

and this woman is talking about how she's in love with this. She's married to a lawyer, and he pays all the bills, but she fucks this guy who he's a Pearl diver, bank robber. Black day? No, he's just a guy. Yeah, just a big Italian rule.

But is he black? No, but he's a completely different book. Oh, really different book. And she goes and she's talking about how he, how this her lover just he's got these fucking huge hands and she's looking at her husband as he's buttering his toast in his suit and tie and he's got little spines and she despises him.

Of course. She's like, I can never have those hands on me again and all she's thinking about is as her, just fucking the talent sausage. Anthony Quinn had big hands. Yes, he did. Does he? I don't know.

I believe in massive hands. He had baby hands. You just see a picture of him. Just baby hands. Yeah, chicks don't like like soft, soft small hands. No, they want big, you know. They want to know if push comes to shove, can you fight your way out of this situation?

Yeah. I think so. I've only felt I couldn't one time, and I'm not like a fight guy, but I know like if shit hits the fan, I can, you know, keep business. Keep a little business. No, right?

No, I mean, I just don't know when I've come across that guy, but I remember the only time I felt like completely helpless was at the Super Bowl in Jacksonville. It was such a joke. They ran out of food before kickoff. And it was not like a good stadium, Jacksonville. I think it was the Eagles and the Patriots.

And like the seats were wood. And I remember there was the toilet set overflowed. This before kickoff, so there was like a little stream of water running through the concourse and just Eagles fans. This before kickoff, so there was like a little stream of water running through the concourse and just eagles fans. Fucking ee. At one point, a wheelchair ran over my wife's foot and she said, your wheelchair is on my foot and she goes,

in a minute, like she was supposed to finish up what she was saying. And it was me and Barry Katz and our wives. And I remember thinking, wow, I am truly alone versus the Eagles fans who threw snowballs at Michael Irvin on a stretch. And Santa Claus. And Santa Claus.

And Santa Claus. Yeah. He thought he broke his neck too and they were like, good. It was just like, they boot him. They boot Santa Claus. Didn't you just snowballs at a half time? You ever met Michael Irvin? Yeah. The big boy.

One of the best people on his way. He's great. One of my favorite people I've ever met. Great guy. I agree. Yeah, I talk more about that. I don't know if that era of guys are all money. He and T.O. Sanders, I work with both of them for a, I spent a lot of time with them.

Michael Irvin, we did, we hung out together. Big hands, Jesus Christ. The monster. They got, you know, the playmaker for reason. Roll up the black tarp paper. I go to a S.B. like Super Bowl party with Tim Duel, we walk in and then Michael Irvin's there, like surround by a ton of people. You know, he a SB like Super Bowl party with Tim DeWay walk in and Michael Irvings, they're like surround by a ton of people. You know, he's the life of the party like you could have been a fucking entertainer if

you want to. He's the life of the party and he sees me and goes, shop, shop, get off here baby. I'm like, what's up baby? You know, there's all these people and I go to yeah, you know, what's up baby? What's up? My go to grab his hand and grab my head but hold me down and kisses top my head for everybody oh that's awesome

awesome so embarrassing that he whispered how do you know i'm sick uh... we did the uh... the the the tournament together the charity tournament together what can we do and we are partners on the falling tournament he's such a good guy golf yeah he's such a good guy. Golf. Yeah, he's such a good guy. You're golfer. No

No, I'll play a little bit and he's Hall of Hammer, right? Yeah You really know sports guy at all. Shit, man. How can you have him? Deon Sanders. I spent a whole week. He's pretty good to Deon San. Yeah, he's so much fun with this guy Pretty what's he on when I look the diana i look at the on and i and i and i i go uh... what do you way because he was always a small in on the field and he goes not small because i'm two nineteen and i went to you to nineteen i know i go

no fat i was like that's that's a small football player well it's like that's not no he's not no for a cornerback he's met he's a best at ever do it right I had a really just guys foot amputated. Yeah, I know where's toast and you played the world series and it's super bowl The same is his foot they had to go back in yeah, so you saw the foot story they took his Stoe now that damn kids foot. No, is what his girlfriend came out. Yeah, why would happen? I'm not sure It runs too fast. No, no, no It burnt the bomb as fast.

It's a gangrenous infection. I don't know. Turf, don't. Turf, don't. You know he played in the Super Bowl in the World Series in the same year? Yeah. How about that?

You know you used to play in baseball games then fly same day in play football games? Yeah. So not for- Brian Jordan did both too, and they were on the same team. Yeah, for- And then I asked Wayne Crabette wants the hardest. He ever got hit in football.

Why'd receiver for the judge? And he goes, Brian Jordan knocked me the fuck out. I was out for like 15, 20 minutes. I remember that. There was an interception against the Falcons, and he relaxed, and Brian Jordan just came just five, nine, white guy went, ooh, the supper. Yeah.

Crack red had to retire because of the cushions. Yeah, he woke up on the bench on the sideline pre-like tent. He just lay in a fucking bench. I just got laid out. I feel like, okay, right? So when he was playing with the shirt. Hold on, and when he wakes up, they go, do you know where you are?

And he goes, will a Brooke Mall? When did they put this in? Me to the George and home. Yeah. When they put this in. When they put it, when they put it, when they put it, when they put it, when they play, they're some of the gamers,

you get in there, he's on the air, he's on the air, he's on the air, he's on the air, he's on the air, I never missed a, a football game. He's great. I even had that. I had direct TV so I could watch, like, the red zone. It's him and Kishon. I never watched, I never watched the game.

Yeah. I never watched Fire Kishon. That one, I kind of sold. But he's on the radio show. So what him and Keeshawn. I never watched, I never seen him. Yeah. I was watching Fire Keeshawn. That one, I kinda saw. But he's on the radio show. So what, they're not gonna Simon Cast the radio show? No, I'll have to give it somewhere. My ex girlfriend broke up with me

and started dating Keeshawn and would tell me about it just because she was mad at me. That was good. That was good. That's gotta be, I can't blame it. I don't understand like the Simon Cast of radio. I'm just gonna pretend I didn't blame her. I don't understand like the simul cast of radio. I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that. What does she say though?

She's like, I'm into giant black, that's your small white cast. I gotta call it, it's pretty black and white. I'm following him, I'm following him home right now in his car, just wanted you to let you know that. I was like, but you know why she did that? Cause they always push back on the parent, they know it wasn't going anywhere.

And deep in her bones, she knows that he's daddy. Yeah. Otherwise, she wouldn't give a shit. Otherwise, she wouldn't give a shit. Look at my eyes. She wouldn't give a shit. You know what? She knows Brian fucking made her make those sounds

that nobody ever heard her make before. Daddy, but she also, but she also surprised you. I'll surprise you. Well, yeah, sure. He's old reliable here, but she also knows Kishon. Not in for the long while, right? So, one more time. Right. old reliable here, but Shoston was Kishon. Not in for the long while, right? So one time, right. Yeah.

No, they got married. It's his wife, but that's probably half-sent. Yeah, they got three kids with the race of Pippin. And I've never been under any illusions. Yeah, at least what I- I had a weird like today, like this weekend, because of Derek Wolfe and then Brian Shaw, I woke up the next day after spending time

with the strongest man in the World Four Times Strongest Men in the World and then Derek Wolfe was a freak athlete and a giant and also very handsome. And I was like, I looked at the pictures and I go like this, I go, I need to, yeah, there you go. And I go, I looked at that picture and I go, I need to start lifting weights more. Why are your arms bigger than your toes? I know, I know. I go, look that picture and I go I need to start lifting weights more why are your arms bigger than your toes?

I know I know I go yeah exactly I go I got to stop with it. It's so big look at how big you look like David Fostino Yeah, I do yeah, I do go if you've gone Are you standing I'm doing that on purpose. I'm trying to stick my chest out god damn. He's a big boy Yeah, he's but let me ask your question. Yeah, he's a... But let me ask you a question. Yeah. But can he kick my ass? Well, I can point it. Well, so Levant, Levant, the best arm wrestler,

they say he's unbeatable from Ukraine's 400 pounds. Levant said, Brian's like, I kind of want to get an arm wrestling now after this. Because it's easier instead of this training. Natural transition. Levant, Levant, is like made a video to where I'm joking around and goes, Brian, you don't need to get a norm.

I was like, you stay over there. You don't have to do this. Why are you wearing that like Keith Morrison wig on that one clip? I don't ask. How great is Keith Morrison? The best. From Dateline.

When he's like the Dr. Suce of Murder. I was playing Greg Abbott, the governor of, yeah, for a sketch. I look on Dateline when Keith Morrison goes in a small town. Her almost goes. Something was brewing at the waffle house, but it wasn't the coffee. What was brewing?

It was murder. Yeah, what was this? Brian missed the first half he was watching himself. He was getting distracted. I know, nurses. I look at myself, but I'm looking for something to change or I'm disappointed. I don't look at myself like, that look good.

There's a couple of pictures I've said. I look all right most of the time I'm always like, what else you got, Jen? It's the price. How about the kids that goes, can I pet that dog? Can I pet that dog? What's this for? Can I pet that dog?

It's that for them. You just look it up. Just look it up. Oh, it's just from... Can I pet that dough? It's from. You just look it up. Just look it up. Tiktok or IG, my sister's ass, Tim Tebo's virginity. You think Tim Tebe area is on the left? This one? Yeah. I could listen to this kid all day.

Do you think I'll pet that dough? Jump at that dough. Do you think I'll pet that dough? No. Do you think I'll pet that dough? No. Do you think I'll pet that dough? It's all. Jump it that down He just turns homeless at the end Oh So you go to sleep no, I don't anybody I'm gonna say it anybody doesn't have kids doesn't know what they're missing You go kids Yeah, man, oh you said that earlier

You look at me like I've over the line or something Oh, come on man. I'm fucking trying to keep that dog. I'm just trying to keep the show afloat Not with you. What do you got, Chip? Which kid's favorite? Jamel, Jamel first is tough. Is it? Yeah, it's tough.

Brian, how many kids you got? Three. Who's your favorite? Just say it. Just say it. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm sorry. Brian has a favorite, that's like love for me. You don't have a f**k. There's always one kid. One kid sweeter than the other. It just depends day by day, man.

Hey, look, there's not enough oxygen on the sub for all three of us. Mmm. I... I love all my children. There's not enough oxygen, man. I love all my children for different reasons. I got a baby. He's just like a fucking just,

you know, my son, my son is, my son's a baby. My son's a baby. It's like raising myself. And then my daughter is just her own magical, it's your son. Fucking self. It's the son that's like you.

You're a narcissist. How could you say this on it? I can't kill the mini. My daughter, my daughter is, I don't know, that's my first born. So, you know, I hate to leave your killer's son. I love him all. You got two sons, then.

Yeah. So one can go. No, I can't. Bro, we're all gonna die on this fucking sub. Somebody's gotta go. No, you have a favorite? Yeah, I can't. I can't make it.

You do? Of course I do. Yeah, I understand. Of course I do. All right, you have how many to two? That I do. You have how many to two? That I know. What do you guys do? I think that there's no doubt that most parents

probably would have behind closed doors would be like, I mean. There's one like every time they cries, a kid you're like, this fucking guy. Well, some kids are more difficult than others. You know, some kids are just like, my brother's super difficult. I don't know for a fact, yes, my parents, when we yeah. Well, some kids are more difficult than others. You know, some kids are just like, my brother's super difficult. I don't know for a fact, yes, my parents,

when we were like 12, they were like, oh, Brent will kill's easier. Yeah. Brent was easy. Yeah, yeah. My son when he was like five years old, told me to suck his dick on Christmas morning. Just that I know it was the first Christmas

after the divorce. So we're staying together, like just giving the illusion of one big happy family hers because mine's still in New Jersey. So our whole family's in my house, eating fucking shrimp and this, and my son opens up a Nerf gun,

he's like, whoa Nerf gun, daddy's suck my dick! I'm like, what? And they're all looking at me, there's like a custody battle going on, they're looking at me like, we could use this, but I'm not looking back. I'm just looking at my son trying to use telepathy like, what's the point?

And he's like daddy suck my dick. Look at his dick, I'm tearing me. I go I got a bigger nerve don up. He's too excited. I got one upstairs, you want to see? He's like, yeah, suck my dick. So we go up to his bedroom and I go, do you know what you said down there?

And he's like, no, what the nerve got. I'm like, do you remember what else you said? He goes, I do not know. I go, do you remember saying suck my? And he's like, no, what the nerve got. I'm like, do you remember what else you said? He goes, I do not know. I go, do you remember saying suck my dick? He's like, yeah. I go, do you know what that means? He goes, no. I go, that's like, that's what a dick's like.

What a dumb guy calls his penis. You know, when you're a real smart guy. And so in front of the whole family, you said you wanted your penis in my mouth, and you wanted me to suck it. And this is when I knew I had a favorite kid. My son's reaction goes, starts crying.

Then it just starts laughing. Then I start laughing. Then we start wrestling. Then I throw them on the bunk beds which break. And if you're downstairs, it sounds exactly like we would upstairs the sucky-jowder sticks. What the fuck? Can I bet that down? I bet that down. I bet that down.

My son went after, I never kind of like, did a check-in after I got divorced and I'm a dinner with my son. A check-in? Wait, hold on, hold on. What did a check-in after I got divorced and I'm a dinner with my son. I'm like, what? Wait, hold on, hold on. A check-in? On your kid. How you guys doing with this?

You know, like I, you know, you talk about the feelings. It's like not enough. Yeah, man. There was a big deal. I just, yeah, he has a fight. So my dad, my son's eating like that and I go, hey, you know, we haven't talked about how you guys are doing. You know, this is a big thing.

It was like three years ago. And he goes, my just see my son goes, he goes, I'm all right. He's like, he can't be good. I can't be good. My daughter goes, all my friends, parents, have gotten divorced, relax.

That was the end of the discussion. I was like, how old was he then? Fuckin' eight, you guys, he's just still wearing a diaper. He's still wearing a diaper. He's fine. I'm all right, I'm all Just doing this man. He's fine. I'm alright.

I'm alright. No problem. He's wearing WonderPets diapers. Peter better always like you face like you're dumb. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Brian. Brian, that he opened his mouth and hornets. He's mouth, that's like, I'm fine. He said, Brrrr. Oh, fuck. Oh, he's went black. I'm alright. You know what I'm saying? You're done. You're done. It's like, it's like a big deal. Sit down and... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr bring up the divorce. It's like, so you got a big boy decision to make, you know, it's about where you're gonna live mostly.

You know, it's, I don't want to sway your decision. See, you can either live with, you know, dad, or a cool fun dad or El Canto. I mean, but, you know, but it's not no pressure. You make your choice. You're watching me hell, you go that way. You like money, son? Yeah, you make your brother. You're watching me. Hell you go that way like money, son But no big deal it's a big game. How long do you get divorced? man almost five years ago. It's me too. I got a long way with Max at the time It's it was the most profound

Wound in my soul Yeah Fuck because nobody gets married to get divorced you get married because you're positive It's not a possibility. Yeah, that's what he did and you walk around for like it's not even the divorce people go like I'm really sorry about your divorce. It's like oh no now that it's underway I'm great. I wish you could have said sorry to two years. I walked around my own house going What the fuck is going on? I think get out of this. Yeah. God damn. I was the only one in my entire extended family who's been divorced. I don't come from divorce.

Well, Saudis, you know. Yeah, where are you? How many of them? Beheaded. Well, stone. I'm not, I'm not. So, Saudi. What a great way to kill somebody.

Fucking my stone. It takes a lot of hatred. It takes a while. Yeah, it takes a while. It takes a while. You're gonna have 20,000. Yeah, 20,000. It takes a lot of hatred. Yeah, it takes a lot of effort. You're gonna have 25. Yeah, 25. Not to face.

My elbow. The eye again. It's okay. You may as, ah, that biblical shit is awful. The worst. Adultery. But divorce, like I've confirmed divorce family, I'm very was traumatizing for as a kid.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. What? It's love, it was your fault. It's the worst thing you've ever said. And it What? It's love. It was your fault. That's worth eating. And it was your fault. It's a worth seeing you do a kid. But me, my worst thing you can do is stay together. I get so much credit to my ex-thode because she was like, we both decided we're gonna put the kids to first. No messy divorce, no nothing, man. And so that we get along. They see we talk, we hang, it's it is what it is.

There's no right way to do it. I mean, it's a disaster. It's just sucks. Because I heard my father, my son say, he was talking to something, he goes, yeah, my dad doesn't live at home anymore. And he was bummed about it. That killed me.

That killed me. Yeah, you know, hey, you live some stuff. I remember a mediation, the sticking point was this thing called the Smith Osler agreement. Oh, I know about it. What's that? It's like, okay, this is what you make now. These last three calendar years, we know what you make and it's just a grid. It's just, now this is what she's going to make.

The Smith Osler is, if you go above that number, then she gets more money, right? But at the time I was doing radio, I didn't have, I was doing well, but not like, not like you guys, Jesus. You know. And I was like, no, absolutely not. And my lawyers were like, wow, we're like, we're out of here, what are you doing? I go, no.

It's like a really weird, like, put my foot down. And I remember the mediator goes, why? I've never had somebody like this adamant about a Smith-Ossler agreement. I go, well, I just did the turning stone casino in Syracuse. I woke up at four in the morning to get a six AM flight. I had a layover in Chicago. I got to my hotel room in Syracuse at 6.40 pm.

My show is at 7. I performed for an hour and a half, went back to my room, got four hours of sleep, because I had to get back on a plane at 6 am and come all the way back. Now if I'm willing to do all that for $20,000, why the fuck should she get a piece of that? That.

And she goes, like they're sitting over here, and I remember she just goes. That was your wife? She did like a really, no, the mediator just goes, like I just, it was one of those moments where I explained, I explained it even better than that. I bet that. But I remember like, I could have flown to Hamburg

in the time it took me. Yeah to get the fucking That's the part that kind of kills you in January and did that mean what did they say about it? With was your wife like I understand that or no it worked out it worked out. I we get along well That's good so important because I know people that just lose their Their health over the fact that they're fighting and I want take take care of my dad got diabetes when he had a worse I'm sure probably the sugar marble Well, that was like the final no the stress will use the stress texture adrenals, but I was at the height of my

My earning power. I was making more money At one point for those three that's right. What's the right. I've ever seen. I got it and I can get in the sun Yeah, but yours was so bad you guys got weak constitutions. Oh, I was I aged these past three allergic to milk Rines age like a president since the yeah, okay, I'm Lincoln. Yeah, literally I Saw George Washington three years ago. I had totally dark hair three years. I my hair was all more dark I'm gray as fuck now. But you can throw some dick. I some still throw dick. Cause I hit the, I never missed a fucking tour cap, but I never, I never missed a workout.

Oh, I throw fucking grapevines in him so fast. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Oh, I love riding legs. Jesus. Just till I come. What? Ride the rings. Jump on the rings. But here's the thing, dude. Here's the thing is like, you wanted to take care of them. That's it.

For me, it's like, I said, first thing, I wear a mediation. I look at the lawyers, I go, the most important people right now are the mother of my children, my children. Like I'll live in a fucking van by the river, right? So we got to figure out how that is. I'm not interested in this lawyer back and forth shit. And that was a great way to start off because who knows how much it's you want to take care of them but also I don't want to get

completely fucked man like we both got to stay get sucked going to you ain't you fucking no matter what I got two x-fine I have two x-fives at home houses and I've ranked that's me too it's like not two x at one point my child I liked up his ad you know I'm? Like you guys weren't writing jokes. You were an opt-up for in the morning right now in Saturday at live. What the fuck did you guys- My attorney. Yeah, yeah.

Uh, yeah, I don't get any of my residuals. No. At one point my child's support was $10,000 a month. So I go out, I remember I was doing the tempi in Prague and I was like, I'll probably make about $35, right? For the weekend. Big room. Yeah, to be speak. My rent in Mal and I was like, I'll probably make about 35, right, for the weekend. Big room. Yeah, it's dope, he's big.

My rent in Malibu was seven, because I was on the water. So at one point, it's like, Well, first of all, after 35, after taxes and commission, well, that's the point of what I'm about to say. Yeah, you beat him to him, man. Can you go? But he's right. I basically got back in my car,

Owing $1,800. Yeah. That's what people don't realize. It's fucking insane. So off to top 10, so now I'm at 20, let's say 30. So off to top 10, that's 20. My rent's seven, I got 13. My agent gets three, I'm at 10.

I'm paying 44% taxes on the 30. It's fucking crazy. That's why it's good to just get out of show business. Is it going? Oh, and then we're getting nine to five, good like making the 20 grand in a week and then. Just fucking relax. It's there.

Give it to God, it'll happen for you. Give it to God. It's in the big man's hands. You know what the worst thing you can do in my opinion? I will figure it out. The universal provide. Now. Well, no, you gotta make it.. The universal provide. Mm-mm. No. Well, no, you gotta make it.

You gotta make it. You gotta hope for the boat. You guys are making money. Like I never made any money. I have a hundred million dollars in the bank. But that's from when you live in Saudi Arabia. Yes. That's because I'm in my own oil fields.

I never like, I never had like ads, like back in the day on my podcast, it was like a 60, 40 split to talk about squatty potty. And it was like the most I made was like a thousand a week. And I'm like, I just would rather not have ads. Then I get out and you guys come in and everybody's just, you got your own studios and calabassas. I'm doing well.

Theo, you, everybody, Rogan, forget it. Oh Rogan, yeah. Rogan's Jeff Bay. But I can't get back into it because it would be an admission to myself. I'm getting back in it for the money and I can't operate that way. No, see, I think you should get back in it because you love doing it really good. No, I don't love doing it. Obviously, I don't really care.

Yeah, because people like, when are you gonna do it again? But you have to have money, you have, you're fine. I'm alright. Yeah, that's a big part. All my money's tied up in property though. Well, that's a big part. All my money's tied up in property though. Well, that's good. No, I can divorce twice. I didn't even divorce twice.

Yeah, I thought just once. No. Wait, before Nikki or after? Yeah, another one. So before Nikki, you were married. Yeah. I got two boys. And you still paying one with each?

Oh, are you still paying? I still don't know. Yeah, because I wasn't able to pay because I was in rehab and COVID. Oh, are you still paying? I still don't know, yeah, because I wasn't able to pay, because I was in rehab and COVID. Oh, gee. Not a big comedy market during a pandemic. All right. Let me ask you a question.

This is where I'm like, when you were talking about politics earlier, I just tapped out completely, because I just, it just doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't. We're a trillion dollars in debt. We all agree that's a fact, right? Yeah. The country. trillion dollars in debt. We all agree that's a fact, right? Yeah.

The country. So the pandemic happens. No businesses are open. There's no commerce. There's no supply and demand. There's no landlord that receives any rent. There's no utilities. There's nothing. But then the government, a trillion dollars in debt, cuts every American to check for $1,500. That's when I went to Motherfuckers. Something is of shell game. So what's why I got this? Or they send you Crane $2 trillion. Well, no, they're printing money.

They're printing money. Right, but that's like credit card debt. Yeah. You just pay a little off here there. But the fact that you're going to send me a fucking check that I'm going to cash it up, like, wait, I thought we were a trillion dollars in debt. Remember you're a kid, they go,

hey, we're cutting down the rainforest. The size of Great Britain gets disappeared every year. I remember in fifth grade, I remember clear as they, by the time, by the year 2000, there'll be no more rainforest. Yeah, I remember that. You watch like an inconvenient truth, I'll go to the bald, the ice, and by the way,

they are taking it away. I know that, and I know the ice caps are melting. I know there is climate change and global warming and I know that's all true, but it's like, that out of gorshirt was totally off though. Yeah, but all of it's off. Everything they ever told me was off. As a kid.

The whole Nioz on the air. The whole Nioz on the air was going to get a little bit of dinosaur fossil. You know, like it never ever happened. I never thought of this shit. Then you talk to like a spy or a CIA guy and they go you go What's the actual problem and they drop some shit on you like running out of water? Yeah, there's I mean there's not an infinite supply of water on a floating rock

Eventually we're gonna be done with water. There are weird things like that super volcano that's underneath yellow stone Yeah, if that thing, we're all gone. And there's a chance of a blow. I'll get his fucking car in life. He's got that cool car with the roll bar in it. It's right away. You got a roll bar, right? Yeah, we're fine.

Crashly fine. Or roll bar is like, you just feel like- Roll bar is a protection, you gotta have a roll bar. I didn't have one of my must, I remember I was on my Mustang in like 1994. I'm on the 101 South, and these two Vatoes pull up next to me in like a convertible fucking massive car. And they're like this, like, I'm like,

ooh, this is a little uncomfortable. I don't wanna race these guys. They're probably gonna wanna fight me, whatever. And then so I just hit the engine and I go, and they start chasing me. And I watch my review mirror as their car. I don't know what happened. It caught air under it or something

and it just went back and flipped over. And I was like, I don't know, not my business, back there. My business, no, I never saw a car this old. I just never saw a car go like this. Maybe that's like hydraulic or something. It's like they hit the brake line in the ocean. But Jesus, I wanna be, do you feel like you're, I'm not prepped enough for the zombie apocalypse.

I don't need, I need, I need, I need to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be. But it'll be like that volcano comes, okay? I need, I need something though, man. To do what? What do you can do? There's no amount of prepped that's gonna save you from like a Pompeii situation.

Yeah. Yeah. Cause you know back in the day in Pompeii, there's those motherfuckers that like collected beads and shit and like, I got my bug out back in case that fucking thing blows. Okay, that goes, I'm all right. Yeah, yeah.

And they're just fucking. Didn't realize how they are. They didn't realize how fast they're fucking. I know, I think about it. I think about it. You know what I'm saying? And then all of a sudden, order breaks down and then it becomes the purge.

I wanna be ready for that. We're closer to a civil war than anything That's what I really that would be terrifying. I'd be picking mother fuckers off of my roof. Oh, yeah Nobody wins in that situation. I'll win very evil people on both sides Just take over and have their malicious. I've been hoarding antibiotics 2002 antibiotics never clear As you can sell am am I? The singer? You can sell alcohol that you can drink

and use as a cleaner from a long-term. If you just make some, you know, if you murder somebody and you clean them up in the tub, make sure you bleach underneath the drain. That's how most of you guys get caught. Oh, you got a bleach underneath the drain? Yeah, because they just unscrew it and they look at it. Because when the blood goes down, it kind of splashes around on the

there. Wait. But now they test for bleach. In the bleach. If you bleach my tub whenever I want, doesn't make me murder. Wait, in the drain? Yeah, you have to see. When the water drains out, when it goes down the drain,

there's still blood going on. What people forget is there's going to be blood under. If you drink a bottle of water, there's going to be water on the bottle cap on the inside. Fuck, I gotta do that. I can tell I've read a body out. Stop using credit cards. Get the rope with the wax on it. Is that what I gotta do? What? Well, how do you know so much? Date line? The details. It's always a white lady on date line that won't stop running her fucking mouth. Yeah. She always gets killed by her husband. She's always named Patty. Yeah.

It was a way lady named Patty. But I talked to a guy who does cold cases and I was trying to, I've said don't, let me try to get out of it, way with him, er, you can't get it. He goes, if we want to get you and we actually put our resources there, I go, okay, so I shoot, I shoot you from 700 yards away

outside when you're hiking. And he goes, we catch you. And I go, how would you do that? He goes, we take dogs, we look at the, we look at the ballistics, we can tell you got shot from a distance. We know what kind of ball it is. We take, we take a dog,

we start circling, circling, circling. Well, find where you were lying. I'll collect all those leaves, every one of those leaves in the whole area. Take it back to the lab, find your you were lying. I'll collect all those leaves, every one of those leaves in the whole area. Find some. Take a back to the lab. Find your trust in you. But you know what I'd say that guy? You know what I'd say that guy?

Then why are 53% of murders on salt? He said, I asked him that. Brian would get caught because it'd be bite marks and all the leaves. Yeah. He's so good for you, bro. I meant to be. Or get it.

These are so good for you, bro. I used to. Or get it. These are so good for you bro. I still can shit there with a flag. Brian was here. But you can't do that when you're killing people. 53,000. It's how I leave my mark. I can't leave my mark. 53% of murders on salt.

But you take out Brian. Why are you doing calisthenics outside the car? We're on a stake out. He's doing fucking squat thrust next to the car. Let me just get there. You're squats everywhere. Let me just get there. You're squatting. You leave your cells.

Did you jack off at one point? Yeah. And also, if they want you for it, they build a case towards that. As opposed to taking in all the evidence and building the case that way, they take in a suspect and they funnel all the evidence that way.

Also, even so, that's why. So, that's why. You're in everywhere. They're roadside cameras. They can find point of entry. So, defense. Like, what were you doing in that car why it's everywhere. They're roadside cameras. You just they can find point of entry. So defense like what were you doing that car, all that stuff. Don't you think you could pass a lie detector test?

I don't know. I have. You don't have a knee you have what? I have. We did a lie detector test. And I was telling the truth about everything and I they said I was a liar. I said did you read some high school?

I was like yeah, you're lying because I was squirming. I feel like I can beat with I have guys and if you're like you can't beat it. Well, that's why they stop using them though, because they didn't hold up in the court alone. Well, you can't, they're not, they use them, but they're not admissible. But I took, because if you go like,

if you go like, is your name Jay Moore, I'm thinking my, well, my birthday is John, I go by Jay Jay, so already the fucking needle's going like, Yeah, you know, O.J. Simpson took one, his lawyers, right, right when they got one, before they got big, let's do a lie detector test. And because if, in there, they go, you're in a scene, he's, one, his lawyers right when they got one before they got big, they let's do a lie detector test. And because if in there, they go, you're in a scene is, yeah, I promise you. I let's do a lie detector test because you know what, working in court law,

we can bring it up. They haven't take the lie detector test and failed miserably. No, like, you know, I like wrestling and you get to more than karate. Ron Goldman, second to reblock. Wrestling injured to more than karate wrong goldman second to rebleot Wrong goldman the guy OJ fucking stabbed it as oh he goes to land a fucking kick he slips in blood game over Yeah, well Also, you got close to me to stab me. Yeah, it doesn't work He'll call me answering a provided idea allegedly against an NFL football player. What's that with a large knife?

Your karate is no good here. I don't think karate is good anywhere It's just not practical if you if you have to get in a stance you don't have to fight what was your good black belt then? It's that third or good black belt. Yeah, but you know, it's karate third degree I don't know. He was on studs. I wish he lived. It's such a bummer. You know what hosted studs? What? Wasn't it?

I don't know. That's going to be new. I thought you knew. It's Mark DeCarlo. Yep. Yeah. That was his name. Yep.

Ivan DeCarlo was his name yep if on the carlo with his mom oh I kind of remember this guy can I bet that down come back that down yeah I'm sure that guy yeah yeah all right you get more force you good or give us one more good one? We end so this cuz he's a front of the show Adam 22 he's a front of yours. So I guess his girl She did start porn in the beginning, but then once they got together Let me feel you guys in fans. So his wife Lana Lana the plane I think leader the plug. She's a porn star. They met when she's porn star But since since they got together she's beautiful. But since they got together, she's only slept with women and never with another man. She stopped doing like male female

porn. And then recently, he has a show called the plug talk where they, the interview of porn star and then they both fucked the girl who watches that more or Brian Kalancho. You're close, both do really well. But recently she she he was open to her fucking a dude and they got If you if you watch black before he's like the star of black Yeah, he's a car millona porn Jack that was my He do you bring it every common old may love me look brings it every time. He brings it every time, baby. He delivers every time, baby. Oh, he delivers every time.

But that's his post. It's kind of funny, too. It's officially been a week since I let my wife do porn. Another guy fell a little jealous at first, but overall, it was in a big deal. She's watched me sleep with hundreds of girls and never affect our relationship. Sleeping with that, gentlemen,

has been amazing for both her career and our business, the plug talk. Overall, I'm glad we did it. And I'm happy to report her Regina has returned its original pre-big black coxize. So this is what he's tweeting about his wife. Yeah, he's just saying. And they have a kid.

They do have a kid? It's real. Those two kids are gonna prove first. They're gonna make it. So the kid can go online and go, oh, my mom got, oh, now I know why she's leaning the plug. Yeah. It's so strange.

I don't know, man. Who is this guy? I don't care. I. I don't know man. Who is this guy? I mean, bang though. I don't care. I mean, stupid, man. Who is this guy? Who? Adam.

YouTube money? Yeah, it's a show. I think it might be a... No chase or something? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think it's that's be subscription I mean look some people are into this stuff and it's that's I don't care if that's what I like to do I don't give a shit make money don't want to do it. Okay, and if he's open to I don't get what people care She's down he's down who gives a fuck I don't care That's it

That I take it. Well, we're almost at two hours. I love it. So you make it easy, dude July 9th is July 9th. I'm doing a show with Darrell Hammond. We're doing impressions Really you could pull that got your God forbid you go to my God forbid you go to my I do I want your it's not what your website that I was You're only 52 you're a kid There's my intake photo from rehab where it's on my page there you go is on the left is the ad oh You'll see the boy. There he is.

And put in the phone. Well, I was, but you turn him in the film. Jenga was. I'm trying to search for something. I don't know. That's a surprise from New York! Chris Penn. Multiple factors on the making, you shut the pro-back. Yeah, I'm not a fuck with you, you can't even let me do it!

I'm a pain in my life. I'm a pain in my life. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Get Get out of here, get out of here, is there any way to get right? Oh! That's fucking like a fucking look at the belly-least hanging over the fucking backage of the fucking Christ! That's kind of deep. Help me out of the house and you can tuck me in, fly me to the house. Coach Tony Bennett! Look, I was bald enough to say that. look at his ball That's that that looks crazy

Yeah, that's good. You want to see my intake photo? You guys have done shows before to get off the bus Oh, you get to sit down What's he up to besides that stand up go back to my page? Let's just see what I got going on What about me? He said intake photo. Yeah scroll down tell me one like keep just wait out was it a wicked Look fighter in the kid all over that motherfucker. No keep going. Just keep me as dick fight towels. You ever see that? No, where why right there? I'll go to that. Oh He got it baby He got to hate baby You get the point

That's fun Ah, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going Keep, you just see me bald looking fucking terrified Keep going, keep going, no whammy's, no whammy's, no whammy's Pass it Pass it? Yeah?my, he's no whammy. He's passed it. Pass it? Yeah? No, he passed it. I didn't know that.

Look at me in the fucking jet. Yeah. Oh. I don't know. Oh, look at that. Me jumping rope, right? Keep the left jet. Keep the left jet.

There you go. Feet are strange. That's fine. Well, I got crazy fucking feet. Uh. Yeah, keep going. Get in your heart, check that. My heart's fucking retaken about.

Like, you had a sonic around in your heart. Sonic sound. Right there. Which one? With the hat on or the, oh wow. Now that's in take meaning you were going to rehab. That's like when they're, yeah. Wow.

That's made a year after the loot tank. Wow. Damn, like go back to that. You don't look bad. No, it's soulless Yeah, that was that how many when he tough there how much are all you doing at that point all of it all of it all of it Probably 300 milligrams a day What was your main thing? Adderall. I wake up swallow a 30, snort a 30, take my kid to school, snort 15 on the way back, swallow a 30, I drive to Malibu to fish, swallow a 30, like that's, we're not even a nine, I am yet.

How the fuck did your heart not stop? Oh, lucky. How did yours not stop? Start. What? There was one. Why bet those fish were fucked and we all that out or I'll just fuck.

I fished alcoholically. One year we took a hundred fish out. Wow. Just on the paddle boards, fishing from the paddle boards. Off right behind Dukes and like, runner. Oh yeah. Wow. What kind of fucking fish?

Calico bass. Oh damn. Would you eat them? Yeah, I'm like a mother fucker I would do that. I would paddle to the Malibu Pier and back then go run wrestling practice. What would you use for bait? No, RuPaula crankbaits they got like the plastic things so when you know what's up. Yeah, I'm a fisherman to yes Roblo Yeah, that's one of my favorite things. Yeah, but you're fishing for carp.

You're Asian. No, I'm not fishing for carp, man. You can't eat carp. It's disgusting. Yeah, it's horrible. You're right. The grunion are running. There goes Chen.

I don't go grunion running. You should get together and murder some things. You're fishing for carp. Carp sucks. They're too bony. They're disgusting. Yeah, give me the creep. And Koi, you go to somebody's house.

Yeah. They got those stupid lips. Yeah, and they're like You can bounce like your corn niblet right on the snows. They're like But those bass are voracious eaters dude. They love that fucking crankbait that thing goes by they just fucking I had it I had his on a GoPro so I could prove it I caught a barricade a baby barracuda. I'm on the paddle board and I'm filming it on a GoPro And I get them to like where that bottle is

off the side of the paddleboard and a fucking bass comes up under it and goes to eat the barracuda and hits the other part of the lure. So I brought in two fish on one lure. What the fuck? I thought I was gonna be nice. Do you ever see sharks?

Ha ha ha. Too many dolphins. I saw one once, I was behind Dukes and it was like lady afternoon and it was just coming toward me, swimming north, as you guys would know it, but it's actually west, north, and I was like, oh, fuck, and I was like, it's not a dolphin

because the tail's doing this, not this. Oh, wow. And so I paddled home as quickly and calmly as possible, but the sun was setting, so every time I turned around and looked, the sun was, I couldn't fucking see, and I got about a quarter mile and I saw dolphins over here and I'm like, okay, thank God. How big there's someone I couldn't fucking see. And I got about a quarter mile and I saw dolphins over here and I'm like, okay, thank God.

How big was it? I don't know. I just became a speck of dust. Yeah. Immediately like. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. See a lot of gray whales.

Do you really? Well, they're either coming or going. Through, they're like, it's like March, April, like November, I think it's like, November, they come down. They come in that close? Yeah, November, they come down. I think it's like, no, they come in that close though. They come in that close. Yeah, no, remember they come down. I'm not a legend.

Brennan loves it. Thank you. Oh, okay. You're gonna trick it out yourself. I'm dudes, right? I'm dudes. Fucking go your own. You know what I'm saying?

But come on, man, I just wanna go see some whales. Well, behind dudes, man. Tell you what, guys, if you like comedy, you come to the green zone. You can tell he's funny. Let's have one photo. Greenville, yeah. yeah greenville South Carolina this Friday this Saturday and then I'm at the blue room Springfield Missouri July 20 21 and 22

come get no actually I'm only there 21 and 22 I gotta take that off the website all right you go under a lot wins, well, I'm around LA July 28th, Shob and friends are you in town July 28th? I got to check my day planner. Let me know. I'll text you. I'm old school We had a bunch of dates coming up. Love you guys. J more. Where you going? J more? Hollywood improv like we said July 9th. I got two months off man. I'm chilling. Yeah, man. I'm chilling too All right kids. Love you Continue your journey at Arizona State University. Choose from more than 300 programs offered online from the nation's most innovative university.

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