The Fighter & The Kid - Jim Norton | TFATK Ep. 965

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Jim Norton joins the show and the guys talk actors that hated each other, meeting Gene Simmons and Robert De Niro, Jim's fascination with old school KISS posters, Jim's take on UFC's DDP vs Strickland, his relationship with his wife and their new YouTube channel, how getting his wife into the country was a struggle, stories of Patrice O'Neal and Howard Stern, current events around the world and much more! DraftKings - Download the DraftKings app NOW and use promo code: FIGHTER SUPERCUTS - Register to win yours at https://supercutshighscore.com/ True Classic - Upgrade your wardrobe and get up to 25% OFF @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/FIGHTER ! #trueclassicpod #sponsored House Of Macadamias - http://partner.houseofmacadamias.com/tfak Subscribe to your favorite bundle and get free snack bars every time with 15% off the whole order

Guys finally kids live for the first time how many years be you know what 27 years 27 years 27 years We are still doing this damn thing. Our kids live one night only Thursday February 15 at the Vulcan gas company in Austin, Texas 10 p.m. One show only one night only get your tickets. It's gonna be good Yep, we'll come to come up. I'll be at the well February in Bakersfield with Sam Tripoli, February 23rd, the rec room in Huntington Beach, California, February 24th, and then Louisville Comedy Club, March 1 and 2, get your tickets, let's go. And then that's it. Look, I wanna watch the Super Bowl,

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Play responsibly on behalf of Bute Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. CDKNG.com slash football for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms and responsible gaming resources. This is really the fighter in the kid Got the great Jim Norton the legend house from New York, man Don't you like that the legend means you know you're super old. Yeah Really? Fuck man, like I that that makes you feel like you used to be yeah, right? It was a legend David Carradine The way he went out. Dude, I said that to Damon Waynes when I saw about the story. I went, what's up, legend?

I just see on his face like, oh, it didn't go well. He's like, oh, cool. Yeah, it's rough. Yeah. Where's where's a legend go? Are you another legend? Yeah, I still got stuff to do. I'm not done yet. All right. What do you say? What's up, young legend? Yeah. Better?

How old is your wife? My wife is 26. I'm not done yet. All right. What do you say? What's up young legend? Yeah better. Are you held your wife? My wife is 26. I'm 55. See I got I got 34 and you're I'm 57 so You're that's outrageous, but I really appreciate it sure Last night I got in trouble because I'm becoming my father which means I like to spend a lot of time in front of a book Or in just alone doing something that I think is work where it related. So I don't feel like I'm dying on the vine. And she put on the notebook.

And she- This is late at night though. Baby's asleep, stuff like that. Maybe it just fall asleep. So she was mad that I didn't watch the notebook with her. Does she know who she may have? Correct. And I'm like, but I gotta do work because I'm trying to pay the bills,

I'm trying to figure something out right now. So I'm actually doing work, but- To her defense, what are you reading? To her defense, huh? Right? Well, no, no, I was doing stuff that was work related that was productive, but it was just interesting because she couldn't understand

that I had seen that movie, I don't know when. I don't care. I also don't care. It's all fucking awesome. I don't care. I just I hate it the cock blocker guy They're on the date and the guy's like hanging on the thing I'm supposed to be charming while he cock blocks this fucking other guy. Yeah, and at the end I everyone saw it coming Wait, you're the guy. Yeah fucking old bag. Everybody knew it was gonna happen. I hated that I hate that 2004 hated it 2004 that was 20 years ago. Yeah little little fact but with that movie they hated each other Ryan down to life despise the job on set. Yeah, they had to they couldn't be on the like same set They had to like have different things. They hate Wow, I despised each other funny. I know that no clue

I was just reading about Brando and Rod Stiger last night about people that hated each other when they worked on the waterfront together they couldn't stand each other. Really? Brando was so nuts he refused to be in the close-up. When it was Rod Stiger's close-up Brando just left so Rod Stiger had to talk to like some stage assistant and do his big close-up because Brando didn't have any respect for him. Matt, same way with Tom Hardy and what's a homegirl's name? Oh, Charlie Starr.

Charlie Starr. Yeah. Couldn't be on the same set. They've used two doubles. Really? Yes. They couldn't be on the set. Ed Norton told me a story about he was working with Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro. Oh, the score, right? Yeah, and Ed Norton is like this is you know this time he's already a movie star but Ed Norton sitting there like he's a real actors actor and just loved the loved I know it's everything about film super smart and there he is working with I can Robert De Niro two legends two legends And he's in the middle and they're doing the scene and

And he's just he's got so nervous. He's got his preparation and Brando's keeps forgetting his lines and then finally he gets his lines and he kind of mumbles them out like this Here's my chance don't do my moment on it count Huh, and then he sees that De Niro He's looking at De Niro and De Niro is doing this De Niro's got us got to be there and De Niro's doing this Two legends in their past De Niro's fucking a sweet asleep. And then they go, okay, cut. And DeNiro goes, is that asleep?

And Norton was like, he's like, all these are this fucking acting? This is what I got to. Well, that's called it is because it's totally comfortable. Like to be comfortable enough to doze off while Marlon Brando is saying anything. Or bored.

Or fucking bored. That could be bored, yeah. You know what I mean? He's been on set so many times, just another day in the office. Watching you know, Beastman try to remember the lines. Like we got it. Alcoholic. You're right, man.

Yeah. I met you in the Godfather 2 or even the Revival. Have you ever met anybody that you had high expectations and you're like, oh man, like I kind of suck. I had expectations of them. Yeah. Not, you know what's funny? I've had really good luck.

I had a run in with Gene Simmons many many years ago After I had interviewed him on ONA and then I bumped into him He kind of blew me off and I went crazy on the air. I fucking I was so you know fucking butthurt But then I saw him again after that in event and he had no memory of it and he couldn't have been nicer Yeah, so that was probably 2004 or five And it's been smooth sailing with Gene Simmons. Did you see him with his wife his ex-wife Shannon? They're actually this don't matter. They're still married. Okay. It's still married. Did you see they did talk show and She literally right there said something she goes

Uh, he said no, she's been with me warts and all to all these all these years and she said don't call them warts They're people As in cheating piece of shit. Yeah, and he goes, you know It's my house Lawrence is having and she got up and what that's not her name Yeah, yeah, whatever she she get she just got up in the middle of the universe. She goes. I'm done with this Oh, wow, you're still disgusting and just took her work at all. Wow. Is that legit or was it like a work? Oh, no, that was legit. That was a legit interview where he just sitting there like oh Sometimes you fuck around no he warts at all yeah, he did a whole bunch of cheating

Yeah, whole bunch, but he would talk about it He would always say like I'm never gonna get married and men are supposed to have sex with a bunch of weight Like so I think she knew what he was you can't not know I don't think she's surprised you married a rock star Yeah, well, he's he's a man and very interesting guy smart as shit Multi-multi-millionaire he was the first guy to come up with that kiss thing was his invention the merchandise He's just an incredible business. Yeah, they licensed the merch Yeah, incredible businessman like super smart just a winner in everything the king and a great family a great father apparently he's got a great relationship with his kids yeah I know Nicky's his son's really nice yeah and and he's done it he

won it's just he's got that thing he's got you know and you and I think his winner sucked yeah my midlife crisis by the way at 55 you know since I can't I don't have a pistol to shove in my mouth I've been buying fucking kiss posters like literally I lost one at an auction yesterday. I wanted to get back on the plane to the home of New York. I was so fucking. Like vintage original kiss posters? Yes, from Japan.

I've been out of my mind, this brand is called Victor. And they had these great fucking kiss posters. They're very hard to find in really great shape. And I've been spending, like I don't buy watches. Like I don't, I don't, not into jewelry. So my midlife crisis has been kiss posters and I've been on a bender for like two years. That's so random.

Do you ever want it so bad you can't sleep? And then when you don't get deep, does it ever hit you like, what am I doing? You're like every single time. I'm, there's a truck I want right now. And it's literally, as you're talking, it's all I can think of. Yeah, I understand.

Really? But then I'll be driving like out of health scare with my baby girl and I was trying to get this car and I'm like, what am I, who gives a shit dude? There's such much more important things. Yeah, is it? And then an hour go by, I'm like, God, I want that truck. But do you guys think that's, are you,

is this a replacement, is this like a form of procrastination or a form of, like I always think that maybe you want it, it's not the kiss post you want, it's not the truck you want. Something else is going on psychologically. No man, I want that truck, dude. I don't know, I don't think so. Oh no, yeah, no I do. It's dopamine, I need a fucking high,

can't drink, can't do drugs. I'm not having sex outside the marriage, I can't fucking believe I'm really not. Like, everyone would say that, but I'm really not, and it's an absolute miracle that I don't cheat, like I'm faithful. So it all comes out in one way. Like you block up this exit, you block up that exit, so it all comes out in kiss posters like you block up this exit and block up that exit So it all comes out something yeah, yeah something to chase something to get something to no longer feel good about once

I have that weird. Yeah, yeah, what you get it. I had alright. I lost one yesterday. I was fucking homicidal I did it really furious Wait, wait, because you didn't you lost the bid? No, I'm going through this one guy in Japan who like I it's like I have a broker for fucking kiss posters in Japan And he's like how much is the max you'll spend I gave it to him and I wound up losing it because the max one hired I'm like I should have a fucking higher like I just do they ever tell you like with the this truck I called the place and it's in it's I won't tell so people don't look for it But it's in another state. Yeah, I call you guys like you eat we got a guy come look at today man

So hopefully it's here by like oh But that's the game. It's the game. That is the game and they know exactly what they're doing You're like a junkie. Yeah, cuz you're chasing a sensation. That's what you're doing like in a way You are chasing a sensation and he's just replacing one session sensation for the next I drove to Connecticut to pick one up I think there's just like original fucking Casablanca promo poster It's folded cuz he used to go to. And it's harder to find in great condition, but I found one in great condition and actually drove into Connecticut to pick it up

so it didn't get damaged in the mail. I had some guy driving from Long Island with a poster. What is it about that? I liked him when I was a kid. And as I get older, I can buy most of the things I want now. That's my thing. That's the exact same. Because you can do it. and it's like, yeah,

it's this weird thing where you can finally do it and you want certain things when a kid can afford it and then now you can, and when you get it, you're like, onto the next one. Yes, but I have a lot of them framed and put up, but literally my wife wants to fucking pour gas on the hallway and burn our apartment down. It's all kiss posters, she fucking hates it,

but I don't care. It's like, this is the price of dating. But I don't care, it's like, this is the price of dating me. Or marrying me, this is what you get. You gotta deal with vintage kiss posters. Vintage kiss posters and she hates it. And you'll do whatever it takes to get the one you want too.

Yeah, but I should have went higher on my bid, I'm annoyed. Like I didn't realize that I would have lost it, you know what I mean? Because I would have went higher. Go up into Jersey, Central Jersey. Where? North Brunswick. So my hair, I cut my own hair. Yeah, this next sponsor's not for you. I forgot to tell you, Central Jersey. Where? North Brunswick. So my hair, I cut my own hair.

Yeah, this next sponsor's not for you. I forgot to tell you, turn around. Turn around. You have a rat tail, dude. I do have a rat tail. It's so bad. And I blame my wife. She should not let me out of the house.

I can't see the back of my head. I get what you know, you should probably get a cut. You know how you solve that problem when your wife doesn't care about your hair? Cause she's just into my personality. You gotta go somewhere and get your hair cut. Go to Supercuts. I used to go to Supercuts all the time, because she's just into my personality. You gotta go so I can get your hair cut. Go to Supercuts. I used to go to Supercuts all the time, actually.

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you save up to 25% off your first order. Yeah, mostly. My wife's from Morristown. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I worked I mean I always started in Jersey my whole early part of my fucking career is in New Jersey I like you people shit on it, but I like it not jerseys as east coast as it gets Yeah, it is when you think about the east coast you think of Jersey I mean you just do is Matt is Sarah from Jersey, New York Yeah, Matt is a pure Long Island guy.

The definition of Long Island. As long as it gets. Yeah. How's his brother doing, Nicky? I don't know Nick. I only know Matt. I know Nick's name, of course. Yeah.

I know, I think, people who know him, but I don't think I've ever met him. I know Matt. I knew Matt when he was brown, brown belt back in the day. He used to teach privates and stuff. Oh, at Henzos? Yeah. I started going to Hensos like eight months ago I probably like I wish I would have started years ago, but I didn't so I'm still doing it

It's very addicting. Yeah, man, and you realize how bad you are at it and how tiring it is It's fucking me dude. It's I've never done anything more tired. I try to take a person down with him I mean, yeah, I mean, that's sure for for fun if you want to show me something But I mean what am I gonna roll with him? I have you rolled with that no even though he wants me to such good teacher he's on the island and I'm in Manhattan so we just haven't found a time to sync up but I would love to yeah and you matter doing the show how often is it once a week twice a week we do Monday and Wednesday like after this I'm gonna run back to the hotel and do a hotel taping it's easy it It's an hour. You just talking to a guy you love that's great people you'll end fighters who are fun

You know most of them. You know, do you watch you FC a lot all the time? You do. Yeah, love it. Yeah Did you watch the Dupleezy? Strickland yeah, I thought that I thought Duplessie got it was very very close Like I love Strickland so I wouldn't have been mad if they gave it to him either Yeah, I thought he had to eat it out But then you look at the, very close. Like, I love Strickland, so I wouldn't have been mad if they gave it to him either. I thought he, that he eked it out. But then you look at the stats, and I think they actually showed the Strickland. Uh...

Yeah, I scored it for Strickland. Of course, right, yeah. No one's wrong. Like, when those fights are so close, obviously the fan bases get so upset, but it's like no one got robbed. Right. Like, you can see how the judges would give it to Duplessie.

Like, when you see, like, Jared Gordon against, like, Patty Pimbley, like yeah, that's different. That's different one. Johnny Hendrix, GSB, like that's different. Yeah, they get the GSB right. Yeah, and I hate that. Then you can get upset. Yeah.

Then I get, but then when it's this close, like now there's no, it happens. It's fun watching like doing it on a minor level like I've been doing because I just take privates with this guy because of my schedule. But when you realize how tiring it is, the fact that anybody does that for a living is fucking is amazing to me. Like I respect it's my schedule. But when you realize how tiring it is, the fact that anybody does that for a living is fucking, it's amazing to me. Like I respect it in a way, I always respected it, but just being so bad at it

and such a fucking lump of shit white belt rolling around, trying to push somebody off. But it's no different than stand up though. Like remember when you started, how hard stand up to keep getting up, keep doing. Same as like your white belt and stand-up, you had open mics. Then eventually two years later, your blue belt, you got some bits that you know will work.

You know, the venture you graduate to purple belt. It's no different. But the place that I train now, I'm back in a jiu-jitsu and stuff. And the school, there's mirrors on one side of the dojo. And so, like, I'm by far the oldest person there. Like I'm 30 years older than everybody at least. And I keep seeing myself compared to all the guys I'm training with and I don't like it dude.

It's like, you just remind me. There's no older guys there. 100% no except for the teacher who's 62. Yeah. Who's got way more hair than I do and looks way better. But it's just interesting. You're just like, what the fuck am I doing here? There's a, there's older, by the way,

the kiss poster you just had up. I actually have on my wall, that's the Japanese Victor poster that they gave out. It's not an attractive poster at all. No, no, I like the old vibe of it though. I know, it's an old school vibe. Mine's got rips in it. And they go for some money there.

Oh yeah. Yeah, like the mine's like in that kind of shape. It's not in fucking great shape. Huh. But yeah, I am, there's a lot of older guys that kind of shape. It's not in fucking great shape, huh? But yeah, I am there's a lot of older guys at Hensows like there's so many people there There's so many and what made you want to get started now? I've wanted to for years like Matt's always told me to just go down and Matt took me there one time And I know Hensows so I knew that I would get connected with somebody good there And everyone I've met who does jiu-jitsu have likes Hensows still teaching down there

I'm sure who does jiu-jitsu I've liked. Is Hendo still teaching now? I'm sure he does classes, but I'm only there during the weekdays at a certain time because I have to get home and broadcast. So I've seen him there. Last time I saw him there he was promoting people on a Saturday. That's the best. Yeah, he's awesome. And does it has to be kind of weird for Matt because he's a coach, right? He's best friends with Dana. Then like when Aljo has like an issue,

like Aljo has a lot of issues with the UFC, has to put Matt in awkward place. Probably just stays out of it, which is a smart thing. Matt is really good at that. Like he's like, we're friends, but like Matt just seems to know like he can't, there's the friendship and then like Dana's the head of the UFC.

So I'm imagining that he just goes, hey, whatever his business, it has to be worked out in a business way. I've never seen him get stressed about it though. Like I've never seen it. And even privately, he's never said anything like, I'll talk to Dan and straighten it out. Like he just seems to have to go through the same process

everybody else does. I think that's a very smart. He probably knows not to step into that lane. But there's also not much he could do. You know, I'm still like, it's not, it's not on Matt. Like he don't have the power to call. I'm not saying him and Dana are best friends. He's not even like, come on dude.

Cause it's like, that's why Alger has a manager. Like the business side, talk to your manager dude. Young friends of both you guys. So I just talk to him about it. I know somebody who's very well known as an actor. And then there is somebody who is who is the biggest agent probably owns You know one of the one of the owners of the one of the bigger agencies in the world and My friend has been friends with him for a long long time. They're close real close and he

He decided one day he was going to intervene in Something in a decision on behalf of one of his friends. You're gonna see why that guy's a shark. And the guy, and my friend who's no pushover, my friend said, dude, I tried to, I learned my lesson so quickly because I said, I tried to kind of get him up and he called me, he said, don't you ever fucking ever get involved in my fucking business.

Don't ever fucking do that. That is not your place. And he was like, Jesus Christ. It hurt your feelings, wow. Don't ever fucking do that. That is not your place. And he was like, Jesus Christ. Wow. It was just, you know. Sounds like a great friendship. I know. I know.

He was, it was clear. It was like, oh, dude, I stepped into the wrong water just now. But did he ask him like a friend like, so he looked bad on how this works. I just wanted to ask, is it possible? Like, I think I got mad. See, I've done that because my boy's high up at an agency and this is hilarious.

And you guys all know him. He's a comic. When the Joker was announced, the Joker was being made, he goes, hey, man, I think I'd be perfect for this role. I go, but have you ever acted? He goes, nah, I've done some stuff, but I go, dude, this is like a major, like they're looking at walking, you know,

this is insane, dude. He goes, I don't know, can you just toss my name in there? And I brought it up as a joke and he was like shot down. I'm like, dude, it doesn't work like that. No. Like it just doesn't. Like these, these, there's so many moving parts. Like it just because we're buddies and I have a buddy

who controls it, he's not going to put you in as the lead in a major universal movie. You remember we talked to that guy, we talked to a guy who was, who had, who worked with the Hells Angels. He did merchandising and stuff from him. We did? Yes, and I don't know if you remember this conversation,

I said, what's it like to be around them? And he goes, grizzly bears. I said, what do you mean? He goes, they're grizzly bears. As long as you, if you want to work with grizzly bears, you want to photograph grizzly bears, just you can photograph grizzly bears, they might get used to you.

Just remember you're never a grizzly bear though. Right. And the minute you forget you're not a grizzly bear, you get fucking photograph Grizzly Bears. They might get used to you. Just remember you're never a Grizzly Bear though. And the minute you forget you're not a Grizzly Bear, you get fucking eaten. And it's the same idea. You might hang out in their clubhouse. They might be friends with you. You might be okay. The minute you forget you're not a Hell's Angel,

some dude from another chapter comes in, he doesn't give a fuck who you are. And if you act, if you're acting in a certain way, you're gonna get hurt. Well that's what it is like guys who hang out with fighters. It's like just because you hang out with a bunch of black bears doesn't mean you're talking. Well. Yeah. That's referencing you. Yeah, yeah're gonna get well that's within it. It's like guys who hang out with fighters Like just could you hang out with a bunch of black? This doesn't mean you're well. Yeah, what that does referencing you? Yeah, yeah, but say what let just cuz I hang out with comics doesn't mean I was talented as you by the way

What you should have done with your friend before I forget is you should have told him like yeah I talked to the head of the agency. He really likes you. He wants you to email him But if he said if he doesn't get back to you just keep hitting them up And you should have really fucking let me know how much he does fucking career into it. He said he's really excited about the prospect. Send a headshot and a video. And he wants you to go on tape.

Go on tape. Make sure you keep sending him tapes. Yeah, send him tapes. Send him tape improvising. But make sure in full makeup. Yeah, do scenes as the Joker. But he wants a black scent. So make sure you do it like that.

How black? I'm the Joker making real stereotypical Oh hell no Oh hell no You just really Make sure you see me on it so I get him too to make sure you're doing it so I can blast it out That should be a TV show That's right there It's a great big TV show

Yeah he just have your friends What's interesting about the Hells Angels though is I didn't know that I was talking to Hells Angels on the show. They make so much money off merch, their license of the merch, in my head I'm like, who the fuck's rocking Hells Angel merch? And why unless you're a Hells Angel? And who the fuck would ever do it illegally?

Like do they actually have a lawyer that deals with their copyright? Like who's actually gonna be able to deal with it? Oh, I had to deal with it. I had to deal with it. Yeah, we did a similar, like you know how it says like California and you know what, so we did a similar fire and kid thing

and they reached out, I'm talking. Like we've had Disney come after us, ESPN, off merch. Yeah, you don't want the Hell's Angels going, hey. Right. Like, oh, okay, no problem. How fast do I delete this? No, but it's not even like a scared muscle technique. Like they're lawyers.

We're all in it within an hour when it was posted. what the hell are you doing like my bat Disney took a day or two what they say do they want money because I almost did for Chip Chipper Center I almost did these Marvel ones no like ah they'll flag it I just didn't do anything with like you can do it if it's a parody that's how like bar you know how Barstool you'd be like how can I do a Roger Goodell face right it's a parody like that's how they get away with it yeah this would have been kind of a gray area with it when it's a parody I do it all the time with merch like the smiley face with a thick boy like smiley face you

know there's a family from like the 1960s who owns the smiley face rights so when you see like Justin Bieber Theo Vaughn when you see ay face, they have to give percentage of sales to this family. So they go, cool, you can use a smiley face, but we get this much, or you can just pay us a flat fee of this much. I'll at least it like. Yeah, and the flat fee was so much. I was like, I'll just come up with different design.

It's some family owns the smiley face. That's incredible. Wait, just the circle with the smile in it? Forrest Gump did not invent that. Yep. Wow, that's really weird. Isn't that wild? Yeah, I thought it was with the smile on it. Force Gump did not invent that. Yep. Wow. That's really weird. Isn't that wild? Yeah. I thought it was just universal smiley face anybody knew. That's some family's legacy. Yeah. Hey, some fucking kid doodled this and we

decided to go and get a patent on it. Who was the basketball coach that patented three Pete? Jerry Sandusky. No, of course. Sorry, he's always my go to coach. I like weird heads. It's gotta get off the top of course. Good. Sorry. He's always my go to. I like where it has. It's got to get off the top of your tongue. That's always on the tip of the. Jim's. Jerry's in us. Oh, shit.

No, no, Jim, you got to get that out of you. Oh, well, remember LeBron tried Patten. LeBron tried Patten. Taco Tuesday. By that. Right. Yeah. And everyone's like, no, dude. No, you can't. No.

Jason was patented the money bag symbol, though. Like you can. There are can't know. G Simmons patented the money bag symbol though like you can there are things you can do it. I Guess weird ways to make money because it's like a creative. I know I know I just I just nothing I can think of the things I've patented nobody wanted so nothing I patented would have any you know pushing court Nobody gives a fuck God people can just They'll buy websites too, you know like that we constantly stay on it like that squad It's illegal though, isn't it or no like can you buy somebody else's name? Yeah? Once it goes up for sale like there's a like we have whatever it is fire in the kid calm We have it for like six years

But we'll give you a warning like six months before like hey make sure you buy this because as soon as it goes live Anybody can buy it. I had to I had to buy a Brian Callan.com somebody. There was a guy who bought up Everybody who is remotely well-known He bought their domain. This is 20 years ago, and I even I paid him 1500 bucks And I yeah, and I texted him. I said our email them or something. I came around I actually started talking about this It's a really interesting idea. He goes dude. I've been doing this forever. I've never had to do anything again It's just like I make so much money off it. It's kind of a scumbag way but good for you. Yeah it really is. It's fucking gross. But he just saw what was

happening before anybody else he goes I'll buy this. Yeah it's scumbag move though. I bought Jim Norton.com I got it I finally got it went up for a light it went up because it was a Toyota dealership somewhere so this some guy had it because it was Jim Norton Toyota and then it finally went up and I I did I get on like I wouldn't have paid a lot of money for it. No, it's like if you see my ticket sales Fuck you I'm not spending what bonus So I'm what bonus. Yeah, I'm the fucking we were talking about that before we just staying relevant and constantly hustling Yeah, well the game's changed since you guys got involved, right? Like it's like the promotion side

It's almost bigger than the material side. You gotta understand that you do. Jim and I came up and we had a whole, there was an industry that did it all for you. It just, they, all you had to do was think about it and stand out. You're talking about you relying the club to put a banner. All of it. All of it. But now it's your agents, your managers.

Yeah, but now it's like you could do that. No. But you have to take control of it. You have to. You look at like what Schultz is doing. You look at DeStefano, Burt Chrysler is the epitome of it. You know? Yeah.

I'm not saying the material is bad. I'm saying there's guys who aren't a fraction of good of stand-ups as you are, but sell tickets because they're good at the promotional side. What I like to do, I find what's really effective, is I just put up a banner where it's not a good picture of me with dates on it, and I say, let it just fade into nothingness. And it's really great, it motivates no one to come to the show. Just a picture of you like this.

Yeah, Jim peaked an 07 Norton. That should be my fucking, my nickname, peaked an 07. That was a Norton. Yeah, you gotta be realistic about these things. Do you have trouble writing, or do you still writing a lot? I always write on stage. I know saying that makes me sound like such a douchebag. You're at the same level.

But it's just the way I've always been good at like talking through an idea on stage and just playing with it. Cause again, you're on there, I'm doing two sets a night. I thought that was one of your best promos. I see all your stuff, obviously, Jim. But one of your promotional things you did, you were doing a bit on stage and you messed it up and it went nowhere and you're like tickets at blah, blah,

blah, but it was like so authentic and no one posts, you know, when they do bad or if it flubbed a lot. Like I forget what it was. I was only posting bomb clips. Yeah, he's only posting bombs. It was great. You seen this Brian Holtzman?

I love Brian Holtzman. You see what he's posting now? No. He's posting people walking out of his shows. That's funny. Fuck that guy. Fuck you guys. Oh, no, I saw that. I read Forte's, yeah.

They're all losing their mind. Fucking, he's insulting. It's great. And they're like, well, I think he'd like to hear that. There's a certain clientele that's going to see that. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's my guy. Yeah, I like this guy. Yeah.

You can turn anything into any failure into success. I'll tell you what you can't, though. Bombing clips. They do not turn into success. believe me when I tell you. Yeah, I thought about, I think most comics enjoyed it. But I was like, I wonder if the fans like that. No, they didn't care. They were like, it's not funny anymore.

I'm not reading the comics love. I was, I loved it. I went to, I did the Friars Club one million years ago, I remember, and I said to my buddies who was there, it was Grillo and my buddy Gavin O'Connor, who's a big director and did the accountant and stuff and and then my buddy Johnny and and then couple of the guys and I said We were eating at Maastros and I said I got to do a set They go you do and I go at the Friars Club

I don't know if I and I go I'm gonna do 40 minutes and it's just gonna be bird humor because I had 40 minutes on birds I go it's gonna just be bird humor and I'm going hard and I'm gonna do it slow and deliberate. I hope you enjoy this. Dude, I did, I'm fucking dying. I'm doing bird comedy. The penguin, everything. Oh dude, I'm one of the top bird humorists in the country, guys, so this is a, sorry if it's bird heavy,

it's just I'm an avian. Sorry if it's bird heavy. I'm an avian enthusiast. What's the deal with ostriches? It's like a comic. I said no one ever. Sorry if it's bird. The comics and my friends are like laughing so hard.

Obviously not having it. Audience. I heard just silver or change. The clank of a fork. The fuck? Does it have that? Like looking at me like this, there was a girl who liked me. We had kind of gone on a date and she was with people

and she was just looking at me like this. She had, she was like, I don't like this guy. She couldn't have blown me off harder. My friends in the comics back there, and then red buttons. Remember red buttons, the great red buttons? Like one of the greats came up to me and goes, you got a lot of imagination

and you're gonna go a long way in this racket kid. I was so impressed. You didn't let them bother you at all. He was fucking loving it. I was like, Hey, I got thanks guys. That's my bird humor for today. I'll see you next. Dude, we had a comic at the improv. It was a shopping. He's all excited because he had these two girls in the front row. He goes out bombs, eats all the dicks and come he's like, Oh man, I don't know. It Just the crowds not feeling like yeah, the material was tough dude, and they look so I guess ah fuck

She's leaving dude. Oh the girl left. Yeah, she left cuz he just ate shit. Yeah That's a hard gig like I did one set there I remember I forget what it was for but I remember Donnie most from happy days was in the audience And I really wanted a picture with Donnie most from happy days Ralph mouth I worked and I fucking ate my dick and I was like I was too embarrassing over and talk to yeah there he is Don most now who's who was the guy who complained they could see no in Vegas oh Johnny Walker Johnny Walker so the fighter no no I wish good times from good times I know my walk Jimmy Walker. Sure, yeah.

Dino Mein. So I'm younger, I don't know who he is. And they, we wanted to book our hosts or feature, you know, we use the same guy every time you're going to use Jimmy Walker, right, whatever. We get there, I don't know who he is, but I was like, dude, that guy was a big deal while ago. Yeah. All right.

He refused to look at us and then finally came in. So do you want to like go over like the set or whatever? How much time are you going to do? He goes, nah, son. I've been doing this a long time. I got it I got it. You guys do your thing. I'll bring you up. I'm like, all right, whatever And then he won't talk to us so I go he was funny. He was funny But I go I go Brian. Let's go talk to him at least make you sound comfortable in the green room So we go over and he's not looking at us and goes I've been doing this about 50 years. I've seen everybody, never heard of you two.

And I was like, okay, all right, well, I'll see you out there. The best was he goes like this. He goes, he said, they showed me the poster of you guys. And I said, yikes. It's the first thing he said. And I was like, I don't know what yikes means. And he goes, anyway, I worked with David Letterman. I don't know if you ever heard of him, right?

He just he was funny. He was joking around with that But I don't I couldn't figure out if he was fucking and then he gets up and does stand up and and it's not bad I mean, he's it was our crowd. It was our crowd. It was our crowd And then Brendan goes up there to go shake his hand. He goes don't touch me And then I was like, oh, and then I got on the mic and roasted him, right? Cause he was selling CDs. So make sure you get your Jimmy Walker CDs

on the way out, everybody. He had signed eight by tens. Let's be honest, it's not exactly a love fest. Two minutes ago, you guys said Johnny Walker. So, he said Johnny. No, but it's fine. It's like you guys won. I mean, all these years later,

he was on Good Times in 76 and you're like, that's John Walker kid. He's like, guys won. I mean, all these years later, he was at Good Times in 76 and you're like, that John Walker kid, you're like, Jimmy Walker, he's 80. My feeling though is that he's actually loves to play around. He's probably just fucking around. I think so. I actually think he's, yeah,

I actually ended up thinking, I think he was just fucking with us and I guess the joke. I met him, he hosted, or he was on the Louis Anderson show I did, we were on the same episode, it's like the weekend I met Dice in 97. And I think he was on the episode with me I did. We were on the same episode. It's like the weekend I met Dice in 97. And I think he was on the episode with me.

And he looks good. He was very, he does look really great. He's an older guy. It's funny too, he's smart. He was very nice. But again, I talked to, everyone's nice on a TV taping. Like usually when everyone else is,

everyone's nervous, no one wants to be a dick. Like you and the Montreal, no one's a fucking asshole on those tapings because everyone's panicking. Yeah. So what, you're doing this YouTube show with your wife. Yes. What's it called? It's tapings because everyone's panicking. Yeah, so what it was just you're doing this YouTube show with your wife. Yes, what's it called? It's just Nikki and Jim NYC. It's our channel and and what do you guys do? It's just slice the lifestyle. It's just pieces of our life. Yeah, it's it's one of those things where it's like I can't watch myself

But you know just I can't watch you're exactly like me trying to you promoting you self promoting is it's like because you're Irish It's like so anti Irish. It's like the idea that you're Irish right am I wrong? Yes, I can't do it though It's like when you're Irish from Jersey. No, I can't watch I can't watch me. Okay, so I can't watch I can't watch me I can't watch it. It's almost like a vlog is kind. That's all it is. Yeah, that's all it is It's just she and I together just little pieces pieces of our life. And how'd you meet her? She Facebooked me, and then I kind of became very into her very quickly after that,

because she was naked on camera. But she Facebooked me, because I talk, she's transgender, and I talk about trans women in my act, and she liked that I did talk about it. So she was a man, now she's a woman? Yes, she was born male, yeah. You never cease to amaze me, Jim Norton.

Oh yeah, I mean, we've been married for two years. I mean, yeah, she's great. My buddy said to me, he goes, he's a very straight guy, and he goes, I wanna have sex with a transgender woman. And I go, okay, I just wanna see what it's like, I wanna see if it's better than the real thing. And I said, okay, you're a little bit gay, right? Yeah, you're not straight.

I mean, being a homosexual is different, but guys are like, Jim, you're delusional. I'm like, you're a little bit gay, right? Yeah, you're not straight. I mean, being a homosexual is different. But guys are like, Jim, you're delusional. I'm like, you're not straight. If you have somebody who's trans and they have a dick, I don't think you're straight. You call yourself what you want. I don't care. So she is fully transitioned?

No. Oh, no. No. Okay. No. So you're a little gay? Have you always been a little bit... I mean, sure.

I mean, I talked about Monster Raid in 2007 on HBO where I blew up my friends when I was a kid. I mean, that's its old hat at this point, yeah. I've been talking about this stuff. I didn't know this about you, Jim. Oh my God. Oh, this is fucking- Even I knew this.

Oh, really? Yeah. I've been talking about things for- How did I miss this? We're all busy. I mean, everyone's doing their thing. Hey, Brian, how many tickets do I have sold? Jim blew his friends and he was a kid. All right, but how many tickets? We all busy. I mean, everyone's doing their thing. Hey, Brian, how many tickets do I have sold? Jim blew his friends and he was a kid.

All right, but how many tickets? We're busy. We're just doing things. This is fucking great, Jim. God, I love you. Thank you. I love you. Yeah, yeah.

I am. As a kid, you were just curious about it and then you started blowing your friends. Was that the first time? I mean, it's not even a cure. You just kind of fall into it. Like, I don't remember. I mean, I like girls too. You're blowing the cock.

Yeah, you did. You just kind of lean over your yawning and there it is, happens, you're blowing your friend and you're like, that wasn't bad. And you're wrestling somebody's cock flies out of a speedo, it's like, what am I gonna do, be rude? Can't you put it back in his pants for this hard? But I think I was bullied when I was a kid,

I used to blow this kid who used to pick on me, but then there was other kids who I just was friends with and we would do it. So yeah, like to be with somebody who has actively has a penis. There's guys who like they want to have this whole thing of you're totally straight because they have a certain narrative they push. But it's hard to say that.

It's like I think that you're these progressives who want to tell you that you're straight. They're not as progressive as they think. They're actually married to the 1950s idea that straight is the right answer answer so we have to find a way to make anything you're doing hetero it's like that's a 1950s thought I just don't think you're straight you have you have such a bro following right don't you think and did that what was that like when you told them that yes or is it was their backlash I mean not that you read comments where people like oh I mean like I've been talking about it for so long like literally over 20 years yeah so anybody like especially

they were a fan anybody who doesn't know has literally had their radio turned off since 2004 I mean I've always been I've always I said that I you've always been the most transparent honest motherfucker on the planet which is what part of what I love about you as a comic too but thank you and as a person I mean, you know, we don't know each other well, but right I always knew the one thing about you is that you are as authentic as it gets I mean I question the friendship now, you know, he blew kids in high school Thank you. We lived in different Circle you understand oh I understand I know so I put the cracker on the floor. I know

No, so's not. So you met this, you met your wife. Yes. And was watching her, him, I don't know how. Her, yeah. But I understand, there's a whole thing of her and him. I mean, people will say like him or she's a guy. Like, I mean, I know that we're usually people say that

they're trying to be shitty. Right. And they're allowed to be shitty if they want to but we met she had sent me a quick Facebook message because I talk about this stuff in interviews I've gotten a lot of messages from trans girls because I talk about it and a lot of guys don't so they're always like hey thanks for staying that or yeah I'm so happy that you're comfortable talking gorgeous well thank you yeah and she's funny and we you you know, she's my best friend.

I have a great relationship with her. And when did she decide to transition? She's still intact, but... I want to say 12 years ago or whatever. Does she take estrogen? Yes, so yeah, she takes her pills every day. Okay, and then, but she still has other things. A dick, yeah, she's okay, yeah.

Which is, that is amazing. Yeah. I mean, it's just... Very attractive human being, I have to say. Well, thank yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. Which is, that is amazing. Yeah. I mean, it's just a- Very attractive human being, I have to say. Well, thank you, yeah. And she's- All the way around. Yeah, I just, we match well.

Yeah. Because again, she's not fragile. Her personality is, she's very headstrong. She's, you know, I respect her opinions on things. We don't always agree, but she's very comfortable stating an opinion that nobody is gonna like. And she likes you because of your comedy? She's Norwegian, so they're very literal people. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, not good to dirty talk with. You know what I mean? Like, you know, I was like, hey, I'd love to watch you fucking somebody else. You wouldn't like that. I know, I'm being fucking dirty. It's like the literal fucking... She's very linear, very linear. Very linear. But she likes the comedy. I talk about us a lot in the, in our act. I talk

about her as a person. I talk about the sexual stuff and she loves it. Like she's so not shy about it. She has no shame about it. And I like that. Like... How long has she been transitioning? Again, I want to say about 12 years, it was long before I met her. Before this became fashionable. Yeah, yeah, and that's what I always like, you know, now it's in the zeitgeist and everybody knows about it and people talk about it.

But when I first became aware of it, I was 15. Like I was, it was 1983 and I was watching porn with my friends, like I didn't know it existed. Wow. So, you know. When you saw it existed. Wow. So you know. When you saw it on porn, it turned you on. It fucking, all my friends were like, that's disgusting and I was like, yeah.

But I made a mental note. I'm like, aha. I didn't know what it meant, but it meant something. Yeah. And that's how it works. I didn't know what it, what. But not men. So men, men don't excite you the way.

I've had sex with men, but it's not what I want. There's no love there. It was purely, I think, addictive behavior. But the idea of like, holding, like I'm kissing a man, like, I find that as uncomfortable as any of my male friends would find it with me. Like, I love Bob Kelly, but I wouldn't jerk him off of who would say it was life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But a guy kissing a guy with a beard is not, it's, no, I mean, look, socially I have no problem with it, but it does, it does, this, it, I feel the same way about it, sexually that you would probably feel the same way about it sexually. It doesn't move me in any iota.

And that's not because I don't want it to, it just doesn't, never happened. But then, but then, but somebody who's feminine with a dick. It depends on the person person like I like trans women You're complicated. No, it's not really most people have think you're making more complicated Most people have different nuances and what they like look we all have our sexual stuff, right? Like you straight guys you like what you like and whatever it is some of it's like very in and out and some is probably real private I don't care if people have private sexual stuff, everyone does.

But when men who like trans girls don't even admit that they like them, it's like you're letting this whole group of people just sit there and you won't acknowledge. I think my friend is that way. I think my friend won't admit it, but I think he dates women and he loves women. But I think he's got a thing for trans men,

or trans women. There's something about it. Do I know? I don't think so. But there's something about it that I was very surprised at because he couldn't be straighter, quote unquote. But there's a thing that's going on there for him. Sure, and there's a lot of guys like that

and they just don't, and again, I'm not saying you have to reveal your private sexual desires because everyone has them, but it's almost like saying, if you like one group of people and just deny that that whole group of people does anything for you, and you see them like getting treated like shit and talked about like there's shit, you don't have to jump in socially and change the world. But you can at least go, yeah, well, I'm very attractive.

I like trans girl, like- You were probably sexualized with the same sex when you were younger as a straight boy, and that felt good. And so, were you just- I don't think I was just a straight boy though. Oh, you were never so young. No, I don't think I was just what he likes? Oh you were never so good. No I don't know because again maybe I was sexy

my therapist tells me I was molested I'm like I showed up it felt good I like blowing my friends I like getting blown we're all the same age Yeah I was forcing to keep going back Yeah come on we were kind of sucks People want to pathologize or traumatize it but it's not No I don't if it was maybe by the classic definition, there was a kid though I was terrified of who I would blow and I could smell the mothballs

in his Budweiser shorts. It was, he always wore Budweather bathing trunks. Mothballs. Yeah, yeah, it smelled like mothballs, very strange old lady family he had. But yeah, I didn't, I can't pretend I was victimized by it. I think it's just my makeup. It was my nature. You like your life.

I think you're one of the only guys too. Like you're not defined by it, right? Like I didn't even think about it. Like I've known it for a while. I didn't even thought. Like when you go on shows, like most people, that's what they identify. Like they're gonna come on, talk about

being married to a trans person. No, it's my life. Being married is the crazy part for me. Like we don't just sit around and talk about her being transgender. It's like I don't wake up every day. How is your journey? No, it's my life. Being married is the crazy part for me. Like we don't just sit around and talk about her being transgender. It's like I don't wake up every day. How is your journey?

Like, she's my fucking wife. Like, you know, it's like, hey, go to the store. I went yesterday. It's the same shit everybody fights about. But no, I don't have an agenda with it. But you can't in anything like with standup. Like there's an old expression. If you're okay with it, the audience is okay with it.

And you have to be willing for some people to not be okay with it. And I just don't if you're okay with it, the audience is okay with it, and you have to be willing for some people to not be okay with it, and I just don't care who's okay with it. Have you had anybody, probably not in the comedy circle, but family, anybody who's not okay with it? Luckily, no, my family's great. My mom, my dad, my sister, they're very, very, they were very accepting.

Great. But if they weren't. What they had you as a son, you resonated at a different different tempo just as a comic You you've always had that wonderful Misfit energy which I think is kind of a must if you want to be a comic worth your sure you got to come There's got to even if you don't come from dysfunction you got to create your own dysfunction But still his dad was probably born in what the 40s my dad was a little bit of a kicker than that

Yeah, I mean my parents again again they were open-minded people they weren't my dad with a retired my dad was military he was he was in the Marines in the 60s was command sergeant major in the army worked for the post office dude my mom was a librarian but they were very realistic people they knew who their son was I mean you know your parents always know oh thank you and again anybody who was in my life who didn't like it or who didn't accept Nikki as my partner my wife Get the fuck out of my life like I don't have to have an aggressive falling out, but I'm fine cutting anybody off Yeah, I won't be friends with somebody who I trouble with the truth. I don't give a shit like it's I'm 55 years old

I would you though. You can't and that's the other good thing about being older Yes, like you start to realize I don't need you man. It's like I got my I got my my friends I got my family. I got my kids I got it's like there are people out there that will disappoint you or surprise you with how callous they can be You also only have bandwidth for so many people like the people that text me, it's always drama. I'm like, I'm good, man. I'm done with this. Like I'm done with the energy. Yeah.

Yeah, it gets to be very draining when you engage it. Like, and it's not that I think I'm too good for it. It's just like, I just don't enjoy it. No. Like if somebody heckles me in a club, I enjoy that because you can be really mean to somebody who has to just sit there around other people who've just seen them be humiliated.

Like that's satisfying. But any of the other stuff, like we knew we were gonna get a lot of hate. I don't care about that. Like, oh, you're a faggot. All right, good. So what? It's meaningless to me. Oh, no, that's a terrible thing to say. But it's been surprisingly, people have been much cooler than I would have thought. Like it's been much nicer than I thought. So yeah. I think you're different too, where you don't throw it in everybody's face. Like I didn't even think about it. I was like, oh yeah, for think you're different too where you don't throw it in everybody's face. Like I didn't even think about it.

I was like, oh yeah, for God's sake. For me, what happens when I hear that maybe because I'm just older and I know you is I'm like, of course, that makes sense, it's fantastic. It's just that's another layer of color, Jim Norton. Well, you have to know like what you're, like I'm a comedian, my job is not to teach lessons. I don't fucking teach lessons.

I don't educate people about trans people. I'm not an expert. I just, I'm in love with somebody and we're married and that's it. And if you go around teaching people lessons on stage, it's fucking boring. Nobody wants to be scolded or talked at. And you know what you have to do.

I don't care who you vote for. Make me laugh. Exactly. Make a point through your joke. Great. But my job is not to scold people and, and tisk, tisk them. Because I just don't care how they feel about it.

I think everybody likes to laugh. I think, and everybody needs it. You know, there's enough seriousness out there in the fucking world. I think that's something about laughter. When you're watching somebody crush a room, you forget, you forget all the things that make you human. You forget, you have to go to the bathroom.

You forget, you have to make money. You forget your wife's cheating on you. You forget your job. Me and Jim are Jim's thing about kiss posts or I'm thinking about trucks. You forget you have to make money. You forget your wife's cheating on you. You forget your job. I mean, Jim, Jim's thinking about kiss poster. I'm thinking about trucks. Yes. That doesn't go away. That's what you're thinking about.

Yeah, I never get that. Never leaves your head. It is always kind of just there, like an odor in the room, the fucking kiss pod, Victor poster. I'm thinking about the whole time. It's incredible. Gene Paul, A.C.P. So what's the holy grail for you kiss poster-wise?

I got like, which was the original Casablanca promo post, or I got that. You mean for the movie Casablanca? No, Casablanca, Casablanca records, sorry. Their original poster from 74. That goes for how much? I picked 3000 for it, which is again, it's not. That's not crazy.

No, I don't know. These are never gonna be like, fucking they're not $20,000 items. It's a hobby that you can spend a decent amount of money on but it's not gonna break you if you're working and you have a decent work life. But it's not like Rolexes. It's not, yeah, Rolexes are hard.

That's the one, it's the second one in there, yeah. The original, like. I remember that poster. That's just no, not that one. No, that's the 51 bucks. I remember that poster right there. That one's just a print, but he has the original of that cast of black.

I had original of it, yeah. I had that poster on my wall That one you were kid. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and there's like some of the Japanese Victor posters are kind of holy grail items for me now But the holy grail moves because it's about the addiction of just getting stuff, you know, it's not about these are great collectors Do they have great great their kiss posters are weird like They're like weird old stage shots. They're like weird moments in time. Like they have these kiss posters on rice paper and they're just strange moments that have been captured. Yeah, like I have a couple of though.

Like I just love it. The kiss crew is weird, like not weird. They're obviously legendary, but when you look back on them, like you look at all the makeup and what they're wearing and stuff, like my kids were, I was watching an old kiss video like daddy or those women like not what they did back then It's what they did. It's just androgyny in a really weird way. Yeah, there were gender-benders It was glam rock, but they were more masculine. Rocky horror was one of the greatest movies of all time. I mean absolutely

They were definitely more masculine like did I oh, yeah Jean definitely Paul had kind of like the the performer energy I think Paul Paul Stanley is actually gay in real life. He's married with kids. I mean I don't know if he is but he's definitely married to a son from a performer. Sorry man. Sorry Paul. Hey man. He used to work at a gold time. Oh did he? He's in good shape. Oh yeah. I was probably in love with him when I was a kid and didn't know it because he sang you know it's the star child. He was amazing. You even look at like Mick Jagger like the way he moves and some of the shit he wore in the 70s. Fuck David Bowie didn't they have sex? Yeah, yeah.

Yes, and by the way, Robert Plant used to wear the clothes, bring up Robert Plant in the 70s. Robert Plant used to wear the clothing of the women he had sex with the night before. That's what he would do. I mean, how awesome is that? He'd put on their blouse, look at that shit. He'd wear things, they were too small for him.

And he would just wear that, he'd wear that shirt. It's like even Lenny Kravitz, Lenny Kravitz last night the Grammys He's wearing like this like see-through thing here and these tight leather pants my wife's like man He looks cool. I'm like, you know how ridiculous I would look if I put that on yeah Nobody that that nobody more influential as a rock star than him. Yeah every 80s Every 80s singer from Axl Rose to Molly Crude, whatever, everyone of them copied him. They were all high voices and they wore their hair long

like that, every single one of them. Nobody was like them. They're still astonishing. Led Zeppelin's still the most astonishing band, in my opinion. I got to watch Heavy Metal Rock and Roll. I was a much more of a Sabbath fan, but when Robert Plant was doing solo stuff,

he was doing something for Sirius XM. So actually me and Opie from Opie and Anthony were sitting in a room probably a little bigger than this and he was going to do something for Sirius listeners and we were probably from here to these guys away from Robert Plant and he was just like going through his set. We'd meet Opie with the only guys watching him because it was a warm up. So he got to sit there and watch him. He was doing some Zeppelin. He was doing some new stuff. It really was pretty amazing. Legend.

Yeah, to watch him that close felt. And speaking of serious, you've been on there for how long? It'll be 20 years. Excuse me, at the end of this contract, which is one more year, it'll be 20 years. When I think of serious, I think of you and then Howard Stern. I don't really know any, but like, Rue Jude's out of there.

Yeah, he's 22. Yeah, Rue Jude's great. Ellis is gone. Jason, I love Jason and Ellis. Jason's great. Sway has a good show. Excuse me, that's lovely. Who Kid has a show?

You know, he's the 50 cents DJ, he's really funny. There's some good shows on there, but I don't listen to anything, including my own show. I just do it and then leave. Anything I do, I just ignore unless I'm editing it. Like the videos I do with my wife, we edit edit and then once they're up. I never again Can't I mean I have someone who's better like I can just get like funny beats and funny moments Reminders I think are funny, but as far as the technicality part of it

No, I just chop it in iMovie and send it to someone and you see Howard at the do you go into that serious? Oh, yeah, I'm there unfortunately Howard was doing it from his home, right? For a hot second. Yeah, I've met Howard a couple of times there. We don't know each other. I think I've met his wife more than him. Weird, cause he's been there. Like you two are the staples of serious.

We are, but we go in different studios. Like Howard's on one side, and like around the early like 2007, eight, nine, Artie was on his show and I was on Opian Anthony, and I was just bumping just bump into already you know four mornings a week in the elevator I do too I haven't talked to him but I hear he's doing well which I'm happy for me too but I would I you know I was up all night fucking I just don't sleep well and already was doing heroin and we were making it in at the same time I was so funny he'd have his sunglasses on and I always loved him and then in the morning

the two shows were kind of rivals And I'll see you later, and he was just going to Howard and I would go to ONA But it was great already already I've always said after being this business for 30 years I already in Many ways because I worked with him on mad TV for two years. All right I have never I don't think I've ever met anybody who was naturally that funny and that good at improv Yeah, that his ability to just come up with things out of the blue I don't think I've ever met anybody who was naturally that funny and that good at improv Yeah, that his ability to just come up with things out of the blue I've it's never ceased to amaze me. He could improvise a song

He would start improvising a song and it just and like he could do it right there and rhyme it and just I Never saw anything like it. Yeah, I love him I haven't seen him in a while He had stepped aside and was like taking time for himself. And then a few years ago, I was doing this tour with a bunch of other comedians. And you know, it was like anti-social, it was called. It was like myself and Stan Hope did a few

and Bird did a few. I tell did a bunch of them and Artie came on and did a few and it was like his first stand up back. And he's just, he's very loved. Like people love Artie Lang. There's something very genuine about him. Again, he shows you everything. You see the good, the bad, the ugly,

the successes, the failures. He's no shame about who he is as a human being. And I think that's why people just connect with him. He's amazing. He's authentic. Yeah, I love him. Yeah. And you have no plans to ever leave.

Do you live in New York? I live in New York and I don't want to leave it. Again, my wife likes it out here and I like it to come out and visit. I love coming out here and I used to hate it because you think you're supposed to as a dickheaded younger New York comic. Like, I'm fucking, I'm real. So is everybody out here. I just, I don't like the fucking, I get fat and lazy when I'm out here compared to New

York. I can just walk to the cellar every night and walk home So I kind of like that ecosystem to be in and didn't didn't the comic store just pass you they you know It's so funny. It's all post I know I I what I I Haven't been on there in a long time. I like those guys. I went in there and so prior there in 95 I was out here with was like one of our first LA trips when I went in there and saw Pryor there in 95. I was out here with one of our first LA trips when Caroline was managing people and I came out with Patrice, myself, JR Havelin and a couple of other guys

and Richard was on. That's how long I've been going to the store. And I've done sets there. Mitzi saw me there and said I could do sets, but I guess I wasn't a past regular. You just weren't living here anymore? Yeah, I didn't take it personally. I just, I was never out here.

So, um, they were always very generous to me when I came out. All the clubs were, they were always like, if you want to go on, let us know. Uh, they were very generous. Um, but I read that and I saw that. I'm like, oh, well, yeah, I was kind of, were you close to Patrice? I was one of my closest friends. Yeah. Oh, you went to Brazil three times together.

I spent a lot of time with Patrice. He was, and that was the worst mistake people could make about Patrice. Cause he was loud and he was silly and he was obnoxious. So smart. But he was also a brilliant guy and people who would get into it with him who thought like, oh, this is just a big fat, loud guy

found out very quickly like, he's gonna slice you open down the middle of it. Can you imagine if they had podcasting now for Patrice? Cause he was like always kind of anti Hollywood. He was always like anti Hollywood. But if think about the fan base he would have if he was on his own, controlling his own. He would have been amazing.

Yeah. He sat me down with Dove and I had, you know, knew him a little bit like tiny bit like here and there. But we sat down and he started talking about the difference between men and women and relationships and I didn't even know what to say I'd never heard anybody break down and my mouth was a little open and I look at Dove and Dove goes he drops a heavy truth. Does another one smart as shit.

My favorite human beings. Yeah me too I love Dove. I see Dove three or four nights a week. Doug Davidov is one of the great comics. Really funny and a great guy. Like just a very solid person. He always looks like he's thinking about something else though. Like whenever I say hello to Doug, I'm always like,

alright, I'm pulling you out of whatever thought you're in right now because he always looks like he's debating something. That's a great way to describe Doug. Yeah, but he's very funny and he walks on stage and I don't think I've ever seen Dove not do well on stage. Really good. So good. I like that. They were talking about Manny Pacquiao and how Manny Pacquiao used to and we're all of us who are all sitting around we're watching this this expose on Manny Pacquiao and and he's got his girl there Dove's got his girl there and he's and he could never sit still and he's just

listening and they're talking about how hard it was for Manny Pacquiao because as a kid he sold fans that he had to make out of feathers from pigeons he caught and what I'm fucking impossible and then he fought his way up to five way classes and it was just this towering epic life of a guy who came from the center of the earth and just hey you know and it's just like the music and if I can there's a pause and dub goes yeah fun if I can make fans on the streets of the Philippines fucking try monogamy sometime His girlfriend's like This is what I have to be married to yeah, does the am I in a piss real quick? I gotta pee too. I gotta pee like no

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It's also a great gift. Everybody loves macadamia nuts. Your wife couldn't get into the country for five years. Yeah, it was a long immigration process. Oh, because she's trans? No, no, no, no, that would have been really bad. She's just Norwegian. She's just no no no they

She was coming through and they first are like what the fuck is this Back in he yeah, no she had a minor marijuana truck like I mean it was a text message about She asked somebody about smoking hash and her this is true And her friend got arrested for some other matter and they looked to her phone and found the text message My wife was 18 when she sent it. It was like the craziest thing. Why didn't she just come illegally through the border like everybody else? Dude, the rage- Because Biden wasn't president.

When I was fucking going to see her in Canada, like it's a long story, but I put her in Canada from Norway during the immigration process. We were- she had been rejected four times and I would always think about sneaking her home in my trunk. I'm like, she would have been in the country already, which she would have. So would she. But I, you get angry at people. But I also have empathy for people coming across the border.

Like, I don't agree with it, because it took us five years. But I also am very fortunate I have money for a good lawyer who can navigate Homeland Security and all this nonsense and layer after layer after layer. So much real tape, yeah. But like, I understand the emotion of hopping over. I'm not saying I agree with it, who can navigate Homeland Security and all this nonsense and layer after layer after layer. So much red tape, yeah. But like, I understand the emotion of hopping over. I'm not saying I agree with it, but like having,

I used to think she'll never get in, I'm not gonna have my life. Like this is the person I wanna spend my life with and it's not gonna happen. So it was horrible depression on and off for five years. So people who cross illegally are wrong, but I also, I'm like, I get why you want to because. This is a movie.

It was so fucking a movie. By the way, don't think for a second Jim, that I'm not gonna be watching this TV show. And I wouldn't have watched it if she wasn't trans. How about that? It's interesting to me now. It adds a layer of interest. I'm not to you, and it's probably wrong that I didn't say that

because she's a human being and just happens to be that. It's the problem that I'm gay. Okay. I'm a regular person who happens to be attracted to the same sex in some instances. But you just said the only reason you're watching is she's trans. That's right. That's right. That's right. I'm going to watch it. No, I just- You're going to watch for Jim. It adds a layer of color to Jim. And your piece of shit, man. You're the problem. No, I'm going to watch it for Jim, but it just, it adds that layer of of course now I'm gonna watch it for Jim. I'm gonna watch it for Jim but I but it just it adds that layer of color now I'm like of course this all makes sense

this is fantastic. Yeah I know it is it is obviously it's what makes us different as a couple but we are a same couple like like most people but of course that's what's different about us. I think people will like it if they watch it I think there's there's some funny moments in it it's not preachy at all. And we've been very careful to not be because I hate when people preach at me. It never converts me.

It never changes my opinion. Can I ask you something if it's offensive? Tell me to fuck off? You can ask me anything. When you guys fight, do you fight like a normal couple or because she used to be a man, do you fight like dudes? And anyone, you know what I'm saying? 100%, yeah.

That a weird one? To argue with her, it is like every woman I've ever argued with there is not an ounce of male in her Emotionalism when she argues really it is it of the soul and brain of a female and I know that that sounds crazy and people They're not looting myself. That's why she's why I'm five if I was fucking if I like if I like you guys I would tell you but I really Her fucking brain is the brain of a woman. There's no, and again, I understand what the comments will be coming back.

But I think that's where people get confused. Like I think there is a thing where it's just people are born that way, the wiring is what it is, and that's how they are. And then there's also this movement of people that now it's like they're having to do and they're lost, so they get pushed in that direction. But yeah, your life push in that direction. Yes, but I yeah you your

Like I think something like Bruce Jenner or your wife I mean that that's there I know somebody who transitioned back in 95 who worked on my show on mad TV She was a hairstyle but but but Michelle was taking her sister's birth control pills when she was a boy at 14 She was always a girl you it's a weird thing like yeah Like the thing that's weird is like there are people who just are confused in life and claim that because they think it's an identity And then there are people who really are transgender. That's because it's an option now Yes, like even when I was good that was not an option It's like any other thing in life, any other any

other group of people in life, any other thing in life, you have people that are genuine into who they are, people who are... I don't know who's who. I know my life is who she is. I think the people that use it as like an out right and it's like the thing to do, I think it actually hurts the movement. You know? There are people that hurt the movement sure by being so crazy radical, it doesn't make sense to anybody who's just kind of willing to listen to you. But I mean, it's a hard life.

Like, I don't see why anybody would actually choose it. I mean, trans girls get the shit beat out of them. They get like, it's not an easy existence. You know, she and I go out. We're very, it's much nicer than we thought it would be. Do you have to worry about, like, do you ever get in weird situations or like safeties an issue issue cause she's trans?

No, but when we travel, the first thing I do is see, is this a place where it's good for us or not? I'll never go to a place that- Probably not going to Russia. You're not going to Chechnya. Never, I'll never go to any Middle Eastern country. Brazil's right, hard pass. Yeah, you can't do it.

I don't want to be someplace that hates our gods either. Like you're not doing me a fucking favor by seeing, I like the Burj Khalifa, but if you want to throw us off it, I'd prefer not to go there. Yeah, you'll get pictures. Yeah, I mean, there's nowhere I need to go, but yeah, to safety is a concern.

But you know, I- You are a white belt though. I am, yeah, so I can at least roll around. If somebody in a wheelchair attacked me, I could fucking, at this point, grab one of their fucking soft, mealy, pliable legs. And they'd talk. Soft fucking soft mealy pliable legs Title for this episode soft mealy pliable legs

Got him can't feel that arm. Hey Tim. What do you got? All right first one is Dana white Him talking about you know, there's a little Instagram clip, so I'll just play that for you guys. I don't want to speak too much on it because that's what's up. That Dana looks good, Jesus. Does he? That's a lot of weight, yeah.

That nutritionist is doing the Lord's work, man. He's a jack. I don't want to speak too much on it because I don't know enough about it. But apparently, there's a basketball team up there that is incredible. High school or college team, I'm not sure. They're really good and they're smoking teams.

The state is now gonna impose something on them. They're gonna be penalized for blowing teams out of the water as bad as they are because they're too good. Is this in California? Yeah, it sounds perfectly in the moment. That's exactly what's happening. Where's it at? Have you ever in your fucking, I mean, it's just,

it's unbelievable. So I'm gonna reach out to the coach of the team out there and see what I could do. If anything, I wanna bring that whole team out to a fight in Las Vegas. I want to I want to want to reward these guys yes being such badasses When these these these pussies yep, okay that that that that control Whatever league there in or whatever are trying to do this to them

I love it's disgusting in every one of you that are involved in this, in this state of Maine that are imposing this thing on the team. You guys fucking make me sick. Okay, you are what's wrong with this country right now. The Sanchezon have never played sports. So it's like this is unfair. They're trying to literally sanction them. They do it here too.

Like my son's team, they didn't want to keep score. I bring a scoreboard. Yeah. 4-0, 5-0. then they're good they do it here too like my my son's team they don't want to keep score I bring a scoreboard yeah four zero five zero I don't I mean what are we doing and we blame young people like like you like did you whatever the new generation is it's not their fault it's the fucking people that are like below my generation on their late 30s that that raised them it's not it's not it's like don't blame young people and most of the time a lot of people are age in the academic world we're already indoctrinated it's the blunt don't blame young people most of the time a lot of people are age in the academic world We're already indoctrinated. It's the people putting the sanctions on like this type of thing never played sports Yeah, and and then their kids are probably really shitty at sports

So they want to make their kids feel good or make their friends feel good, but it's sports dude I was very good at it. I knew early on I wasn't good at it You know why because I struck out a lot And because I fucking hit a little squib up the first baseline and my coach is like, run Jimmy! And I'm like, it's a foul ball. And then it went fair. And I was standing there with the bat

and I got thrown out and humiliated. Now imagine if they had Sanchez on. Imagine if Sanchez was like, all right, when Jim's up, we're gonna put a tee out. Yeah. As a kid, you're like, I don't know if it was a tee. I probably wouldn't like that if it was a tee.

It is Marxist. It's like, let's make everybody equal. And the way you make everybody equals you take the special people and you have to push them down it's a bunch of lazy fucking parents who don't want to explain to their kid hey losing with dignity is okay too that's all it is also ideologues it's ideologues what's an ideologue and ideologues somebody who believes in an ideology like in a fixed truth that is not responsive to evidence it's really a form of a religion.

It's a form of religion without a transcendent truth. His son is seven and weighs as much as my 12 year old. And it's not fat. No, it's all muscle and bone. Just kinda look at the size of him. He's on steroids. Yeah. He's tall enough and very strong.

He's on EPO, man. Very athletic. Yeah. He could do the slap fight league, but can't fight in the UFC. Yeah, he's tall enough and very strong. He's on EPO, man. Very athletic. Yeah. He could do the slap fight league, but can't fight in the UFC. Yeah, not yet. You know what I'm doing UFC? No, hell no.

I tell him, kid, no. Like I fight in the UFC because I had no options. Kids with options don't fight in the UFC. Right. No, it comes as, as Mike Tyson says, it comes from the gutters. Like you gotta have, yeah, you're not growing up with your dad driving what I drive fighting the UFC.

Would you want him to fight like saying just pure Jiu-Jitsu tournament? Yeah. That's like saying that. Yeah, he loves Jiu-Jitsu, loves wrestling, I let him do that, but as far as, like, it's a tough gig, man. It's tough.

And it's, again, this isn't a knock on Dana, but as far as like the fighter pay and stuff, it's just the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Like I have friends who are world champions who are screwed, man. Fucked. Yeah. Like horrible CT, uh, lost their jobs.

They can't hold a job like alcohol problems, drug problems. So it's just not worth the squeeze. It's not like football, baseball. Yeah. Hell yeah. It's worth the squeeze. You get some injuries. You're going to be compensated down the road, but UFC's, they're just again,

it's not Dana's job. I don't harp on Dana anymore. I, I usually agree with 99.99% of things Dana says. Me and him, I agree with him. I have no issues with him. But when it comes to, it's just where it's at, neither in leather helmets, if it's the NFL. So the conversation's just not there yet.

So with my son, it's like, no, it's not worth it, man. It's too much work. Yeah, plus getting there. I mean, plus there's a lot of fighting to get there. You're not just getting, you're not just signing up for the UFC, getting a great contract. You got to fight on the regional circuit. And if, you know, maybe you make it, maybe you don't. It's a...

Yeah, and there's, yeah, there's more of a blueprint now than when I was fighting, like they have the Dana White Contender Series now. So it's like you start in a regional circuit, whether it's in Jersey or California, you fight in the LFA, you become champ there, then hopefully you get invited to the Ultimate Fighter or to the Dana White Contender Series, LFA, you become champ there, then hopefully you get invited to the Ultimate Fighter or to the Day in the White Contender series, then you earn your contract on there, then in the UFC. But then the work starts. That's what people don't realize.

It's the same with the NFL. Like just because you're in the NFL, you're not balling. Like you got to get to that second contract. In the UFC, you got to get to that second. I didn't start making money until I got to my second contract. By the way, I just to point out what just happened here is I as a fat-titted white belt, just explained to a former UFC fighter, the path to the UFC.

No, I enjoy it. The fact that you didn't get up and plant your foot in my face, it shows that you were a very nice person. If you were to kick me in my fucking fraud neck, it doesn't matter, I shouldn't have said it. Here's how you get to the UFC, shut the fuck up tits. I love, the other thing I like about it, is he hates himself as much as I hate myself,

so I appreciate it. Yeah, I hate myself accurately. I just report what I see. The fact that I just did that, and he lightly went on to really explain how it happened. You can do no wrong, but I asked you if you and your wife fight like me, my wife, so yeah, it's a fair question. You could have slapped me in the face.

No, I never mind that. I've had a former, I'm not gonna say what weight class, but a former UFC champion, not being, Dick asking like post the shit a dick like they like There's people who are rude and there's people who just don't know anybody else in this type of wish and ask and it's like I'm curious. Yeah, you could tell when someone's asking a real question when someone's being horrible I didn't mind the questions are fine But how much have you learned from doing a UFC pod with Matt Sarah? You know, I love fighters I and Matt is Matt is the probably the most genuine guy. He's very much like Hendo

I don't know Hendo nearly as well, but they're freight trains like there Hendo is a freight train energy Like you can't not look at him when he's in the room. You can't not listen to a demand attention Just by being himself. Yes Matt is the same way. It's this fucking barreling freight train, 100% genuine. Like, I mean, he says whatever the fuck he wants, if he doesn't like something, he can't pretend he does. You know what I mean? Hey, you know, Matt is just 100% real person.

He's one of my favorite people I've ever known. And just doing the show with him, has it make you love the UFC more? When you see how the hot dogs made, are you a little like, all right. No, I love it more because it's so, just training that in the eight months I've been training, like I used to always have fighters put me in moves,

but I would just to see, like, I know you watch this stuff, I wonder what does it feel like? And the first one to do was BJ Penn put me in an arm bar. And I never felt it before. And I was realizing, I'm being pulled in two different directions. Like, you don't get that from watching it. Disconcerted.

It fucking hurts. And they were being gentle. I wasn't testing them. He's not a big guy, but a guy that puts his hands on you and you're like, oh, I'm walking around. I am an absolute gazelle among lions. But Kane put me in a guillotine, that hurt. Kane did?

And fucking John Jones hurt me. He put me, it was like fight week and he was cutting weight, bad time to ask someone to do a fucking leg Kick and he put his giant John Jones shin in my thigh Oh my god, and I had to go to the bathroom because I thought I was gonna vomit, but I almost shit my pants I'm not kidding. It was like my body just said it was like in shock Yeah, it was like I was probably just kind of whacked you a little it when you watch him do it It was nothing like he could have done it.

And do you guys do anything live around the events? Do you guys do it live? We have before, but they put us in these weird, loud, like we interviewed Luke Rockhold, and I forget who else we interviewed, but it was in this loud, out like venue with fans doing signings. Yeah, they don't specialize in podcasts, yeah.

It's gotta be a smaller venue, but yeah, I love these guys. I've talked to all of them as I'm sure you have. And they're all they're all just nice guys. They have none of them are dicks. I've never had a fight to be a dick to me. No, you won't find one. Yeah, most of them are great.

They're humbling. They be. Yeah. And it also is too hard. Yeah. It's just fucking hard. Same with comics. Like you won't find a lot of dick comics.

Like mostly it's too hard. Too hard of a gig. Joe raised a point which I thought was a good point in the comparison of your humbled constantly when you're fighting you're always being tapped in the gym you're always being submitted and when you're doing comedy jokes are always not working you're always but there's always a thing that reminds you of some players that I said to him what drives me said I'm I always keep my student mind I'm a student

I'm always a student I'm always a student. I'm always learning. I stay a student. Yeah, knowing where you stand really helps. Like, hey, there's always people better than me. I mean, in our field, especially, like there's people who are a lot better than me and there's people who are a lot more successful than me. And there's people that used to open for me

that are selling 16,000 seats. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. I couldn't be happier. Yeah. I mean, why would I be unhappy for someone? 16,000 seats, that's a lot of money. Too much for comedy, that's what I say. I would love to do that.

I prefer intimacy. I read his stat because Billy Joel performed last night for the first time in 30 years and they were giving off his stats. He sold Mass Square Garden out 150 times. What? He did a residency. 150 times. The arena. Mass masquerade 150 amazing in my head I was about the money I'm like he's your ball I just knew his newest song it's amazing oh it makes me sad well he had to his brother was his brother

brother was someone in this family took a lot of his money to go back on tour yeah he had something happened to him where he got his business manager right yeah business manager was a who was yeah I'm blaming his family it was a father stolen I don't know who was like last night like Billy Joe performed for the first time 30 years like oh hell yeah is he gonna do some of the hits and like new song like shit wait he's right he did a residency what for the lights go down he's been performing a lot you mean the first new song yeah first time stage in 30 years in 30 years but 130 years but I'm not 130

songs of just I mean what were you saying Jim he's been performing like at the are you saying that I'm lost his first live performance in 30 years they said no he's been doing the garden every week or every month he had a residency there recently really it was his first new material that might have been it cuz maybe he's been at the garden. 100, no, but sold out Bubba. Yeah. Yeah, he had it. Sold out.

Make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen. That's like you two right now at, in Vegas, Las Vegas. That, that shows. Oh, that's fear. It's insane. Yeah. I saw Billy years ago. We had the same agent at one point, personal appearance.

It could, they only did musicians. So I got a nice ticket to see him and Elton John. And he took us back to meet him me and Bob Kelly And he just sits there and eats fishermen's friends in between sets It was bizarre to watch what a guy does yeah for the voice like I guess that they he was just chewing them one after the other After the other fishermen friends. Oh, there's really sharp Coff drops. They're like very. Oh, I know you talk about the fucking talking Fucking menthol. They're intense cough drops. Yeah, but I guess it's as good to smooth out the voice if you need 74 years old It's still doing it. Yeah, they're delicious actually. I like a good fisherman's friend. Yeah, or buckles is a good cough medicine

They're a motto is it tastes awful and it works. I'll take that. I get that get out. I will buy buckles But but he was saying Billy Joel was saying he was like he was torn for so long. He's felt like fell out of love with it from the tour life to travel life. He's like, I'm done. And I don't want to do it. I think he needs money now. Which drives along Island. I'll just helicopter right.

A helicopter from the Long Island sound. Yeah, 150 shows. Massacre garden. Yeah, dude is. But I love his music, man. I've always been a huge bill. I know every one of the songs by heart probably just because a kid I was like this Guys fucking Colin Quinn is not a fan of Billy Joel

So what I like doing is occasionally I'll catch uptown girl or something on the radio And I'll let this take a little video and say what's the line he hates the most and it ruined the song for me Tell her all your crazy dreams and tell her about it. I hate that song though. Some of those songs are the worst, but the songs like from songs in the attic and stuff, those songs are great. Yeah, I enjoy Billy Joel.

I think Down East to Elect is a great song. Down East to Elect is a great song. I wrote that for the fishermen. Yeah. Who are going out of business. I happen to love Billy Joel, but it's just fun to me that Colin does it. How the hell of a song?

150 shows, dude. Yeah, it's pretty impressive, right? Kelly insane I'm impressed when comics do it because comics got to do different material every time like that's the amazing you look at Sebastian Manasako who's doing like oh you had an a fist show at the garden I fuckers got to have a different hour every year like Singers have to have their voices bashing's always worked his ass off He's got that Italian work ethic. Yeah musicians can play the hits and get out of you

They could play our hits Sebastian Sebastian had to do a new hour. He's up there banging out a new hour in front of the guard. And Bill, same thing, any of these guys that are doing, you can get away with it more in a club because a lot of times it's people who are just going to the club anyway, but if they're going to the Madison Square Garden, they're going to see you.

They're going to see a show right now. Right now, all the time. It's impressive. Fuck yeah, it is. It's a lot of bad sets too, I'm sure. Getting there. A lot of fucking tanked jokes in, you know? It's impressive. Fuck yeah it is. It's a lot of bad sets too I'm sure. Getting there. A lot of fucking tanked jokes and you know. Jesus.

Working on material. Yeah. So Joe Rogan just signed a $250 million expansion deal with Spotify. It's brilliant what Spotify is doing. So you know what they're doing? So before it was just exclusive on Spotify. But now they're paying Joseph a truck ton of money. But yeah, Joseph Rogan, they're paying a truckload of money.

But now they're going to get their money back off the ads. So now it's gonna be on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, regular YouTube. So it's brilliant because it builds the audience and then they reap all the benefits from the ads. The Rogan gets his flat fee, it's brilliant. Because when Rogan, I don't care who you are, obviously Joseph's a huge friend,

but when he goes to Spotify, I know a lot of people that stop listening, just because they can't keep up with it. They don't hear stat like you. They don't hear stat. So on Spotify, so the 20% of all listeners are listening to Joe Rogan on Spotify. So if you're on Spotify,

so if somebody's listening to Spotify, anywhere in the world, there's a one in five chance that they're listening to Joe Rogan. It's crazy. You know, it's crazy, but think about it. They signed Dax Shepard, Caller Daddy, a ton of shows. Right now they're just forking over so much money. Rogan's the only one they re-signed. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I guess it's a hard business model to keep. Yeah. He's got some crazy magic because Lex Friedman's getting one million,

Modern Wisdom's getting 500,000, is getting five hundred thousand different like you know they pulled it back because before they're giving out 80 70 point fees averaging thirteen point five million listens thirteen point point five I mean it's crazy it's crazy that's just on the first he's like hanging out with a politician now yeah yeah like we go to restaurants curious like he's coming through like Jesus Christ I know I was like congrats on the deal he's like, he's coming through, like Jesus Christ. I know, I was like, congrats on the deal. He's like, thanks brother. He's like, just like, I don't know what to say.

I'm like, you're a billionaire, yeah. Yeah, it is Walker. What do you say to somebody? Unless you're worth 150 million and they got 250 million, then you're like, yeah, good one. But, you know. I guess there's a point where it doesn't matter, but. I also think it kind of sucks for them

that they report the money my friend I hate when like the NBA and I felt it when they report like Patrick Mahomes getting whatever 850 yeah, or Otani's getting 700 million it's like can you just say big contract like Centinure like do you have to leak their info? Cuz you got the snakes out there like Rogan's friends the haters like I just do you have to leak exact numbers? I prefer them to leak Joe's numbers than what I'm making I would prefer that than the humiliation of what I'm gonna club. Yeah, let's hear you Yeah, never ends if you make 250 million you don't mind people knowing it either especially if you got security and you know Yeah, you own guns. Here's another 250 mil. Yeah, good to see one more. Yeah one more. Okay, cool This is so do Shane Gillis is going to be hosting SNL. If you guys remember, he had

the shortest SNL contract. Yes. Hired one day, fired the next because of a little brain and back. Here's what's crazy is the helpful circles. Shane Gillis is so much bigger inside of life. Huge. They need him. When before they fired him, now he's bigger than they are. And I will get more views. His skits that he does gets more views and so I will pat myself on the back I did call this recently that they were gonna hire him it was a smart move and he's doing so well and he and he really he just did it in spite of the fact that they don't it's fucking it's amazing and I like the fact that people rallied around that I liked that the fans went fuck this. Me too. This guy's funny. Me too. And he also signed with Bud Light.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Shane's crushing it man. Yes he is. There's like a new crop out there in New York, right? It's like the Tim Dillon's, Chrissy D's, Schultz. Tim is out here but Chrissy D's, Schultz those guys. Tim started in New York, right?

What's that? Tim started in New York with you guys. So you got Tim, Schultz, DiStefano. Mark Norman is killing fucking Sam Marilla's hilarious those boys. Okay, Lane is fucking Do you know what I'm at? He's funny. Mattel is a monster great and he sells out theaters Yeah, there's a lot of guys that young crops doing very well Yeah, but they're all funny and like when they go people go back and see them again because the material is good Yeah, they're all working out at the cellar like they're all working. I see why they just five nights a week

They're all working on material. Yep. None of them just showing up doing the same thing. Yeah, all working on material Yeah, it's nice to see perfect shot Shane Gillis man. Is that it? Look at that shit picture. By the way, it's not the photographer's fault at all It's a picture that was not meant to be that way. I look so fat, I have lost a few pounds. I think you look great. You're a good friend. I am such an egg-headed pig boy. You look better now for sure.

Thank you. I think you're an important person for comedy and I think you're an important person for the zeitgeist and I just, I find you to be a breath of fucking fresh air. Well, thank you, Brian. Keep doing what you're doing. I will and it's always nice to see that there are curtains that can still be pulled across the back rows of theaters and comedy clubs. Thank God for curtains. Yeah, that's what I should have invested in a rich playhouse rich

You'll score the tour that theater here at the Newton Theater, New Jersey Mystic theater you doing theaters. Yeah, real theater Golden State Theater comedy mothership. I love it. Yeah Bunch of stuff out here. I got Austin Houston Dallas And we just added some stuff. So yeah, I'm happy the tour is good I just hope people come out and see it. It's a new hour of material. They definitely should bother I hope so and then we got live find the kid now to that live find the kid in Austin, Texas Get you tickets February 15th one show only Special guests very special guests February 15th one show only Vulcan special guest very special guest February 15th only sorry I missed that one

wow that's why the notebook was back on the notebook that's exactly that's right it will be there and nobody knows him it's gonna be great guys it's not getting to that's a well Baker'sder with Sam Tripley in the rec rooms March No, it's February 24th. Yeah, February 24. Holy shit, dude. Yeah, I'm gonna kill Nick All right Louisville comedy club and breakdown comedy club Brian Count. All right kids fine kid live Vulcan gas theater One show only February 15th. That's coming up soon Jim. We love you man. I love you guys

Thank you. Can I just plug Nikki and Jim NYC if you want to see what I'm doing with my wife and thank you I have me. I really love this. Thank you. You are awesome. Thanks Dive into crime on Pluto TV Unravel the mysteries on shows like CSI and criminal minds or follow the clues in Blue Blots and NCIS with thousands of free crime movies and TV shows. Pluto TV is the true home of crime. Download the Pluto TV app and start streaming now on live channels and on demand.

You better run for your life. Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. Sometime in the early 80s, REO Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced middle-of-the-night landing. This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks. And he's telling me about how he discovered a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina, not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet. What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs coming in from South America. Supposedly Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots quiet, out of the way places to bring in his cocaine. My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter.

Kyle and I talk all the time about the strange things we come across, but nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnum Town, North Carolina. of the day.